#country music is an art form as much as any other genre and throwing on a cowboy hat and butchering an accent you’ve never heard irl

[spacemancharisma]

not to be aggressively southern on main but ppl who think that singing with a twang and saying yeehaw to whatever beat they threw together automatically makes it a country song or even a country fusion………… this is simply not the case

[asteracaea]

i'm just gonna contemplate some hypotheticals here.

let's say you're a very young woman with startling talent as a songwriter and a performer, and you are dedicated to your dream of becoming a huge star. the particular genre your music has found its voice in (thus far) is country.

during the years you grow up, it's not really socially acceptable for a girl to not be interested in boys. and queerness in any form is even less supported, discussed, or accepted than it is today. so you talk about boys with your friends, convince yourself that you like them (and hey, maybe you really do!) but there's also something appealing to you about girls and you like them a LOT. maybe you haven't identified what it is exactly. you probably don't have the language or knowledge to understand what you're feeling. your culture doesn't provide you with that. but because girls are allowed to be very close and even physically intimate with their best friends, you are free to joke and play and explore your feelings without them being labeled as something unacceptable.

you work unbelievably hard and you finally get your big break as a musician. maybe your managers can tell something about you, maybe you've already figured it out about yourself, or maybe this is still unknown or un acknowledged by everyone in your circle. either way, your team starts to build the media narrative of the precocious american princess dreaming of love.

maybe originating from your pr team, or maybe starting organically in your fans, people start to love the idea that your songs are "confessional," like diary entries. they love the idea of knowing your innermost feelings. because this clearly leads to more sales and more revenue, you and your team decide to go along with this. you encourage it and play along. when you see the major interest that comes from revealing (or at least intimating) who a song is about, you use that as a marketing strategy and it works.

yes, your songs are actually brilliant and they are what keep people around, but the marketing strategies are what get most of them to bite the hook in the first place. the public has a massive fascination with the love lives and relationships of celebrities. you know this and exploit this and it works. maybe the guys you date are all pr set-ups, maybe you were encouraged to try dating them for real because it would benefit both of your upcoming projects, maybe you really did meet somewhere and sparks flew. but maybe there were other people who stirred your heart who your publicist told you "would not be a good idea." maybe you had to hide those feelings (or relationships!) but you could still write about those experiences by changing a gender pronoun here and inserting a male name there.

your strategy is working. you are quickly becoming one of the biggest country stars in the world, and then one of the biggest stars period. you expand into the more-widely consumed genre of pop. but more attention unfortunately also means more criticism and scrutiny. because people are obsessed with celebrity relationships, yours (real or not) become the only topic of conversation. not your music itself. this is heartbreaking for you. not only that, the strategy which once worked so well in your favor is now starting to tear you down. people slut shame you, call you a "serial dater," say that guys shouldn't date you because they'll "just get a song written about them." no one (except your fans) is actually paying attention to the beautiful art you are creating at a level of quality (and quantity) that is astonishing for anyone, let alone someone of your young years.

maybe around this time you meet someone who could very well be your soul mate. it's pretty much love at first sight. because you are both girls, you can let the world see how close you are, how you spend all your time together, even hold hands, and people can just call you "pals." maybe for a while that is what it is. but maybe one day you go from friends to this. maybe your behavior in public becomes a little too much to write off as "just pals." you both have careers as international superstars and it is very likely that a relationship of this nature would jeopardize them. the careers you love, that you spent your whole lives working toward, that other people's livelihoods depend on. so what are you to do?

your summer of the apocalypse comes. the world turns on you and you are sent into exile. you are devastated and what you thought was your reality has shattered and crashed. but you still have music, and you still have your great love. you step back from it all and reassess, rearrange, regroup. you find that you are happy, stable, grounded. but the only way to preserve that is by never again allowing the public so deep into your life. people loved you for your openness, how much of yourself that you shared. but then they used that to hurt you and you won't let it happen again. so you come up with a new strategy.

you want to write songs about a deep, intimate, long-lasting love, but your past "relationships" have only spanned a few months at most. you also want people to stop scrutinizing your actions, particularly your dating life; stop talking about it, speculating about it, criticizing you for it. you find a tall, blond, blue-eyed british boy. he will be part of the story you tell the world. he will be long-term, stable, happy. he will also be boring. no one will have anything to gossip about, and no one will go prying for anything under the surface. you take full control of your public image, to the smallest detail. eventually, your music will be heard for what it is, instead of as gossip-y tell-alls. you expand your creativity and meld "fact" with fiction to 1) throw everyone off the scent and 2) to create stunning art that you wouldn't have been able to when you felt limited to only write as the character of your public persona.

and behind the scenes, you can do whatever you want. are you still with your muse of 8 years? we don't know! are you dating other women, other people of any gender? we don't know! but you have your music and your privacy and you are at peace.

[soundsof71]

FIVE ALBUMS YOU NEED IN YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW!!!

aka, My Top 5 of 2020, but I didn’t want to seem too retro!

Yep, I have a classic rock blog. Yep, I think that the best rock and roll in history is being made RIGHT NOW. And yep, ALL of it is being made by women. 

(Shown at top, Nova Twins by Ant Adams [x] and The Tissues by Michael Espleta [x]. I was planning to make a collage of all my faves in concert, but  not all of them were able to play in 2020. Both of these photos are pre-pandemic.)

There’s been quite a bit of movement on this list, and all five of these have spent some time at Number 1 as the year has done (gestures broadly) All This™. Anyone looking for rock and roll is going to dig any of these. 

Rocking out is just the start of it, though. Wrestling with my bipolarity and schizophrenia is tough on a good day, and there haven’t been too many of those lately. The plague has also taken its toll around me, with two family members dead and a third who’s doing better, but will likely never be all the way back. (Mask up, kids!)

I’ve written plenty about how deeply Taylor Swift and Phoebe Bridgers have moved me this year (and will do so again), but in those rare stretches where I’ve had enough spare energy to listen to music at all these days, I’ve mostly been looking for more than beautiful music. Heavy times need heavy lifting, and I find that in heavy music. 

The five albums here have all helped carry me, pointing the way toward light.

1) BULLY, SUGAREGG

Alicia Bognanno is a force of nature as a guitarist, vocalist, composer, and producer/engineer. (While working on her degree in audio engineering at MTSU, she interned with Steve Albini, who remains both a fan and an admirer). A Nashville transplant from Minnesota, she’s still a natural fit in her home on Sub Pop: as heavy as Soundgarden, as hooky as Sleater-Kinney. 

I was blown away hearing her searing honesty while working through her discoveries of her bisexuality and bipolarity (double bi!), and her triumphant roar lifts me out of my seat every time I listen.

“She sings the hell out of [these songs], her voice fraying to the point of combustion every time she launches to the top of her range. This is phenomenal music for converting anger and anxiety into unbound joy.” ~Stereogum, Album of the Week

Also, check this fantastic interview with Alicia in the New York Times talking about what she’s gone through to get here. 

TURN IT UP!

2) GANSER, LOOK AT THAT SKY

Ganser syndrome is a rare dissociative disorder characterized by nonsensical or wrong answers to questions and other dissociative symptoms such as fugue, amnesia or conversion disorder, often with visual pseudohallucinations and a decreased state of consciousness. ~Wikipedia #it me

‘Just Look At That Sky’ doesn’t presume to offer solutions; it’s an honest document of what it feels like to wade through anxiety, day by day, not a survival guide or handbook of answers none of us actually have. Whether or not you pay attention to this, Ganser are simply one of the most invigorating, exciting new bands. ~Clashmusic

I saw one very positive review compare Ganser to a cross between Fugazi and Sonic Youth, but I think they hit much, much harder than either of those. And as you can surely guess, I also deeply relate to their themes of mental illness and dissociation while trying to make it through All This™. But my god, are they TIGHT. This is a BAND.

Ganser has two fantastic lead vocalists, and on “Bad Form”, bassist/vocalist Alicia Gaines wrote the song for the voice of keyboardist/vocalist Nadia Garofolo. Alicia also wrote a FANTASTIC essay on the strains that making an album during a pandemic puts on the mental health of the entire band at talkhouse: “Writing, recording, reaching out, balancing relationships outside and within the band, I found (and still find) myself under-rested and agitated to no particular end. More than not doing enough, I was not enough.” 

(If you can’t relate to that, I can’t relate to you, tbh.)

This video also does a fantastic job of showing dissociation. TURN IT UP!

3) THE TISSUES, BLUE FILM

“Blue Film” is a ten-song shot of dagger-twisting electro-(s)punk. It’s completely addictive from the very first listen. The tour de force is “Rear Window”, an art-punk masterpiece of slashing guitars and mad caterwauling. Copious doses of jaunty poetics and social commentary reward the earlooker patient enough to untangle Kristine Nevrose’s hysterical meowing about intergalactic salt shakers and hysterectomies, but I’m too emotionally invested to look under the hood.” ~ Sputnik Music

“Rear Window” is in fact my most-played 2020 track. TURN IT UP!

4) GUM COUNTRY, SOMEWHERE

It’s not all heavy! But even when I’m looking for something light and hooky, I need a bite, and Gum Country has done it with the kind of swirly, feeedback-laden wall of sound that Lush or Yo La Tengo would make if they lived in LA. (Recent transplants to SoCal from Vancouver, I do think that the sunshine has gone straight to their heads, in the very best way.)

Indie music nerds will know guitarist/composer/singer/front woman Courtney Garvin from The Courtneys, and she really does throw up a glorious wall of sound. I adore this video too! Sweet, swinging, fun -- and yes, the drummer is playing keyboard with one hand while slapping the skins with the other! 

I mentioned earlier that all five of these albums have spent part of the year at #1 on my list -- I think that this one might have spent the longest stretch there. Like all shoegaze, even as hooky as this, the truth of these songs is revealed in VOLUME. TURN IT UP!

5) NOVA TWINS, WHO ARE THE GIRLS?

Now, THIS is heavy! Amy Lee (vocals, guitar) and Georgia South (bass) are fucking LOUD, and insanely intense. A mix of grime, hip-hop, metal, punk, and good old rock and roll, they’re a harder-hitting, more theatrical Prodigy, with a pyre of intensity that recalls the heaviest howls of Rage Against The Machine. Indeed, Nova Twins spent a good bit of 2019 playing heavy metal festivals and toured as openers for Prophets of Rage. (Tom Morello has been a fan and supporter from the beginning.)

As you may have noted in the photo at the top of this post, their musical audacity extends to visuals too: they design their own clothes, hair, and makeup, they art direct their own videos, and more. They impress the hell out of me, and I’ve been a huge fan since hearing their first singles in 2018. I’ll plant a flag and say that Georgia South in particular is the most innovative musician on any instrument in any genre right now, but they’re both absolutely monsters. 

I’m honestly not at all sure that #5 is high enough for this, but I’m absolutely certain that after this video, you’re gonna need to rest for a little. LOL

“Taxi” is the story of two gleefully and creatively violent women shaking up the local crime syndicate as they use a vintage cab for their moving murder scene. This is the movie that Robert Rodriguez wishes he was making with Sin City, if it were combined with Blade Runner and The Matrix. And gangsters. And a snake.

I’m gonna take your crown I’m gonna, I’m gonna bleed you out We demand it by the hour We devour, control, power

I’m gonna burn it down Even the, even the royals bow

So not the same kind of therapeutic work being explored on this rekkid, but you know what? Fucking shit up is therapeutic too! 

Definitely take this full screen, and for the love of fuck, TURN IT UP!

SO. Not done with the best of 2020 yet? I’m sure not! A lot of my favorite songs aren’t on albums (at least not yet), so for an unedited list of everything I’m finding, check out my Spotify list, 2020: Shuffle This List! 268 songs and counting, over 15 hours, and not finished yet. I’m still checking out everyone else’s Best of lists (including yours! Message me links to yours!!!), so will probably be adding to this for most of 2021, too. 

And for more banging tracks by women from 2020, plus a few 2019 gems that I’m still grooving to, check out my more thoroughly curated Spotify playlist Women Bangers: A Tumblr New Classics Jam. (You’ll see a couple of these tracks there!) I’m working on a YouTube playlist and an essay to properly roll that one out. I’m also still tweaking the ending, but the three dozen or so tunes there are definitely bangin’.

Tell me if you hear anything you dig here, and tell me what YOU’VE found! We’re gonna get through this together.

Yr pal, Timmy

[masterhandss]

Hamefura♪ Idol AU! (part 3)

Thank you so much to the people who have voiced their interest for this AU! I honestly wouldn’t have planned on writing any of this and just planned to keep it all in my head if no one asked :’’DD Special thanks to @ineedglassesalways​​ for the song reqs for this one! please check her out she has amazing art!

Please bare in mind that my thoughts are an absolute mess and that what i’m talking about switches between Fortune Lover and Hamefura at the snap of a finger. Most info is the same, so just try to understand which i’m talking about while reading fjhgsdjhfg

(Also i’m gonna start calling this “My Next Life as an Idol?! All Routes lead to Doom!!!” or HameFura♪ now hgfjsdgf)

Directory: Hamefura♪ Part 1 - Fortune Lover ||  Hamefura♪ Part 2 - hamefura

Edit: I added a cut bc i’m starting to sympathize with the people who has to scroll passed all this gjshgf

Random Plot and World-building stuff

Sorcier Entertainment is the biggest entertainment business for the past 2 decades, bringing out and producing the best quality of idols, actors, models, composers, musicians, DJs etc. It is a parent company to a lot of branches and agencies. 

Sorcier Pro. is the main sub-branch of SorEn, being the most popular agency for producing the current hit in the market, which are idols. There a few other agencies within SorEn, but they wont be important until later. Geoffrey Stuart is the president of Sorcier Entertainment, and is the overseer of the main idol branch (no one knows why though, probably bc his lil bros are there). Entertainment is such an important and prevalent part of Society that the combination of the Stuarts holding power of the the entertainment industry, as well as Mr. Stuart being the prime minister, they are truly considered to be the most influential family in the country, which is added by the fact that every member of the family is an outstanding and well-respect individual. 

Sorcier Pro. has a variety of high quality facilities for their idols, and even had a dormitory where they can stay in. This was done for the sake of maximizing the idol’s work hours while giving them a comfortable and accessible place of rest. Not all idols are living in the dormitories, and is usually just housing the popular ones at the time. 

All of the main characters (except Sirius, and Villainess!Katarina) are living in the dormitory during the events of the “game”. Nicol and Sophia has rooms there, but they usually return to their home because they are more comfortable there. Katarina and Keith also regularly visit their parents whenever they are free, so their stay is a 50/50. Maria doesn’t visit her mother often (as her house is too far from her private school and work) so she’s always at the dorms. 

A lot of the well known powerful, political and celebrity families (that are the equivalent to “nobles” in this world) are collaborators and sponsors of the company, one of the main sponsors being the Claes Family.

I thought of just making the setting an “Idol Academy” like in Aikatsu! and EnStars!, but I though nah, that’s just too easy. Industry idols are much more interesting to me, and that plot works better for a “idol rhythm game/producer simulator”, specifically for what M.C. gets to do in the game (plus I was listening to IM@S when writing the first part so hgfsdjhfdgsj)

Most prestigious families has their kids be home-schooled, especially ones that are involved in the entertainment industry. This is so that they can focus on their career while they are still young. The exception to this was Maria, until she became an idol and had to take a hiatus from school as Sorcier Pro. expects her to focus on expanding her career. She takes supplementary classes on the weekends.

Katarina’s solo unit name in Fortune Lover is Nobelia (a combination of “nobilis or noble” and “lobelia”, the blue flower of malevolence or evil). She sometimes gets temporary teammates to join for tournaments and projects, but she is a solo idol. 

So the units are Fortuna (Gerald, Keith, Alan and Nicol), Amour (Maria, Sophia, and Mary), Nobelia (Katarina solo), Picotee (Sophia solo), Marigold (Mary solo), Alcea (Maria solo), Regalis (Gerald and Alan), Edel Herz (Keith and Nicol). 

The name’s origins being: Fortuna as the greek of ‘Fortune’, Amour as the french of ‘Love’, Picotee as the dual colored flower (that can be white and red), Marigold (bc obviously) as the flower of passion, Alcea from alcea rosea (the pink hollyhock, which almost means strength and healing), Regalis as a root word/synonym to royal/royalty, Edel Herz being just a google translate of “noble heart” in german teehee (pls appreciate all the googling I had to do dhfgsjhfdg yes it’s mostly flower names bc I have no originality)

yes i changed the names form my original post, don’t call me out asdfgh

Idols don’t really need a stage name if they are a solo idol, but most popular idols are associated with one so it just became a trend to have both stage names and unit names. 

In the original game, Maria’s default stage name is “Cinderella”, which you can then change into the username or player name. This is so that Maria can keep her name while still giving the players a custom name. 

Maria’s original stage name is a nod to a lot of things: the “Cindrella syndrome” that her character is based on, The name of Fortuna’s fans/fanbase (as most players really are a fan of the boys), and is also a reference to how you are the main love interest for the boys (as you are their true Cinderella)

Katarina doesn’t retain the same stage name “Nobelia” as Villainess!Katarina does, in fear that it might her more similar to her, leading her to a doom end. She doesn’t have a stage name, unlike her friends. Her fans would call her “Bakarina” online though, but she never finds out about it jhagjsfg

Fortuna is an all-around male idol unit, one that can take on different images and genres with ease. The image of the unit changes depending on which boy is the center/lead of the song:

With Gerald, the music focuses on the instrumentals or the orchestra, giving a royal or heavenly vibe. The songs have an emphasis on righteousness, the beauty of life and a prosperous future. The songs for the fans usually has a theme of “reminiscent love” or “looking forward to a future with their partner”. A good example of a unit center song for his is Genuine Revelation from EnStars, and Flower as a solo song from his VA

With Keith, the music becomes more mature. The songs have more seductive lyrics, and has an emphasis on “forbidden love” or “having a secret relationship” with the fans. The lyrics are usually innocent in nature, until you read in-between the lines. Sometimes, his center songs throw a curveball and becomes about a “pure and innocent love” or “longing to be loved”. A good example for his solo song is Gekkoujou no Aria from A3 (please listen to it, it’s by Keith’s VA and the lyrics screams “Keith”)

With Alan, the guitar, violin and piano take the center stage.The music usually has more instrumentals than lyrics. The songs are primarily about being one’s true self, loving who you are and looking back at the past. Friendship and Identity are common themes in his songs. Sometimes, his center songs would throw a curve ball and be about something like “not acknowledging one’s feelings until it is too late”. A good song that represents his usually themes is Bokura no Kizuna from A3

With Nicol, the music is more slow and deep. The songs are usually about self-conflict, self-development and change. His songs sometimes have a theme of having an extreme adoration for the fans, a love so strong that time nor age can make it falter. “Being the only one for him” is the theme of his more popular songs. A good example for his solo song is Sword and Soul from his very own VA!

Yeah, basically the image of the center idol is reflected in the performance.

I don’t have a full list of idol song recommendations yet, but my friend who i mentioned above already recommended a bunch of good duo songs for the boys!: (feel free to suggest stuff if you guys have any :DD)

Gerald/Keith - Es No Yutsu from A3

Keith/Nicol- Plastic Poker from A3

Alan/Nicol - Don't Cry from A3

In the original game, all four boys we’re scouted while the girls all auditioned to become idols. Now, since they are all close friends, Gerald was able to market the talents of his friends and was able to get them all scouted into Sorcier Production. 

Fortuna has a producer before Maria, but by the beginning of the game, he had to leave due to health reasons, leading to the sudden application for a new producer. While many producers offered to take care of the boys alongside their other idols, Fortuna insisted that they want a new producer who would focus solely on them. 

Mary and Sophia also have their own producers, but they are barely present because they are busy handing other idols (and eventually, will let go of Mary and Sophia once they decide that they want Maria to produce them)

While Fortuna, Mary and Sophia’s careers were able to skyrocket quickly do to their appeals and talents, Katarina’s career grew slowly compared to her friends. This is because, despite to protests of her Producer Anne, she usually takes smaller gigs in far away towns, malls and small live houses. This is because Katarina wanted to perform in front of people who can’t easily access or attend live performances outside of the internet, just like her own small town in her previous life. She knew how happy she’d feel if there was an idol performance near her area, so she wanted to share that joy to other people. 

Katarina doesn’t join her friends in doing acting and modeling jobs until much later, when Maria joins their group. 

Anne Shelley acts as Katarina’s fitness instructor, personal health manager, and producer. She was brought into Katarina’s life even before she regained her memories, only exclusively as a health manager recommended to the Claes Family. She ended up taking on more jobs that involves watching over Katarina as the years pass by, as the young girl started gaining more and more interests and hobbies. Katarina wonders how Anne is able to be qualified for so many jobs, but she just sums it up as Anne being amazing! (Katarina: I guess she’s kind of like a maid!... or a babysitter...) Anne was (somehow) able to become a producer in Sorcier Productions and was easily recommended for Katarina due to their history. Anne cares a lot about Katarina in her happiness, and will do anything to support her (both version of her, in fact), so much that she is willing to juggle so many careers in order to stay by her side. 

Katarina has a small farm that she tends to in her free time (since she doesn’t get a lot of job offers in the first place) that is located in the garden grounds near the main office of Sorcier Pro. Her visitors/helpers differ each day, depending on who is available (and who intentionally made themselves available to make sure they can spend as much time as they can with Katarina)

While her friends constantly get fan mail, the delivery man is always wondering why Katarina always specifically gets a small light box. In reality, it’s packages sent by Tom the gardener, from the Claes Mansion, showing her all his new prototypes for the snake toy. While Katarina first started out as making them out of paper before deciding on buying them online, she knew her family would be suspicious and question why she’s making such a purchase, so she was surprised when Tom started joining her in making fake snakes, until the snakes started to look even more realistic than the plastic ones online!

Maria Campbell: A Girl Chosen by Destiny

Since “Maria” is an involved protagonist, she gets to keep her name in the game, with her idol alias being the “username”of the player

Just like in HameFura, the game doesn’t give much on Maria’s actual history. 

The game does have an implied personality for her, being a kind and hardworking girl who puts all her focus on the task at hand. The game implies that she is also a bit introverted, with her personality becoming more open and outgoing as the game progresses (implied through the slight changes in dialogue choices).

She’s a bit of a country bumpkin who moved into the big city in order to experience the world outside her town. She was able to gain a scholarship to a school in the city, and moved alone to stay with her aunt from her father’s side.

Due to her father leaving the family when she was young to due to rumors that she might be the daughter of a different man, Maria’s relationship with her mother is still very strayed. Thanks to these rumors, her father left her and her mother when she was young, and her town heavily criticized the two for the adultery that her mother apparently committed. These rumors stemmed form the fact that even as a child, Maria was beautiful (with clear blue eyes and bright blonde hair, that are in contrast to her mother’s dull eyes and dull hair). While her mother was fare-faced, the appearance that Maria had was usually associated with celebrities or artists, making people believe that Maria didn’t come from her father. Despite Maria’s mother claiming that none of it was true, the rumors got so out of hand that Maria’s father became ashamed of his family, leading him to leave without a word.

In the beginning of the game, she stayed with an Aunt from her father’s side, on the condition that she somehow pays the bills by herself, leading her to want to get a job. 

Maria saw the announcement of Sorcier Production being in need of new staff, so she applied quickly in order to start saving money. Thanks to a set of misunderstandings, she accidentally got the role as a producer, despite her lack of credentials (not knowing that she was the beginning of a big project of SorEn)

Maria is an extremely hardworking person, believing that if she worked hard enough, she will be one day rewarded with the love that she’s always dreamed of receiving.  Fortune Lover makes you think that Maria is naturally able to produce 7 idols, but in reality, it’s at the expense of Maria overworking herself to the bone, with almost no time for herself at all. Sometimes she sleeps in her small desk office instead of the household that she’s paying the bills of, in order to maximize her work hours. She dedicates every second that she has on the four boys, so when they shower her with love and attention, she was able to easily fall in love with them as well (and sadly becomes dependent on their validation as a personal reward for her efforts). 

A month before one of Fortuna’s biggest live performance (or a little bit after Maria joins them as their producer), Maria oversaw the training of another idol who came to her and ask for help (not knowing that she was just trying to get close to Maria to get close with the Fortuna boys). Maria helped her train her dancing and singing, and even memorized her choreography in order to critique her steps. She became too dedicated in helping that idol improve, thinking that the girl wanted to be friends with her. When the event happened, the female idol was hit with bad karma and injured her leg just as the live started, leaving her unable to perform. This causes an uproar among the staff, as the set list was too complicated to change in such short notice. Gerald, who is aware that Maria has been helping their colleague, encourages Maria to take her place since she knew the lyrics and the dance. Thanks to the encouragement of the boys, Maria debuts in front of a huge crowd, gaining instant popularity as the cinderella idol that saved the live event. 

Most of Maria’s job as a producer in arranging the schedules of the boys, staying in contact with their costume designer, staying in contact with their personal composers and lyricists, sorting through job offers, keeping watch of their health, watching them while they practice and accompanying them in their jobs. When she isn’t there to accompany any of them, another producer temporarily takes her place. 

As Maria’s popularity increases, she is given job offers that prevents her from focusing on being a producer. Since the boys are very fond of Maria, they are very encouraging of her desire to become an idol too, and offers to help support her and themselves moving forward. 

The game itself doesn’t make the changes in Maria’s occupation obvious, since Maria’s idol life is only prevalent in the Idol Rhythm Game Mode, but in reality the increase in workload is slowly eating her up (not that she’d let anyone know that)

Maria, as an idol, gets constantly harassed by her peers (especially Katarina) for being a nobody idol who took the spotlight away from them, as well as for being a close ally to Fortuna. A lot of scenes in the story mode is the boys saving her from the harassment (leading to a lot of good CG art that are sold as posters :P)

Depending on whose romance route you are on, Mary and Sophia start out as very hostile towards Maria, as her existence takes away the attention that their loved ones were supposed to give to them. Sophia warms up the fastest, as Maria’s lack of hostility towards her makes both her and Nicol easily attached. Even after the three starts as unit as Amour, Mary’s relationship with maria is mostly professional, before she slowly warms up to her somewhere near the end of the Alan Romance Route. The three can be considered friends, but they still seemed more like colleagues in the eyes of other people. 

When Katarina meets Maria, she was very surprised to know that the Maria she played as in the game was a more humane person than the game shows up (somehow who isn’t perfect in every way, and works hard and long to be able to provide for both herself and the four boys)

Their meeting and friendship bloomed in the same way as the Otome Game version (because i’m too lazy to jot down every minor difference hgfjsdgf), surprising Katarina that baking hobby that was just mentioned in text or used as a plot device is actually real and flourishing, and is something she actively supported Maria. 

Due to Katarina’s slow popularity gain, and Maria being a novice idol, they usually took and accepted jobs together since they both needed a boost. Instead of the quick burst of popularity that Maria has in the game, this time she wants to take each step slowly with Katarina, with the desire for them to grow at the same time.

Since Katarina is now aware of the hardships that Maria must be facing as both a producer and an idol, this time Katarina and Anne often help Maria with her paperwork and organization. Whenever Maria isn’t there to follow Gerald, Keith, Alan or Nicol, Anne now takes over if she’s available or she’d recommend a colleague that she knows would assist the boys like a pro. 

Katarina insists that Maria doesn’t have to shoulder all her burden alone, and that she has all their friends around to help her and support her as they do with each other. Katarina tells her that it’s okay to ask for help and even offers her hand constantly (wow, Katarina can easily carry all these boxes of documents? My hero~) and Maria takes this lesson to heart.

Even though Maria felt nervous about joining Katarina’s friend group so suddenly, which even includes the very idols that she’s meant to watch over, Katarina was very insistent that Maria’s wonderful and warming presence would let her blend in so easily (Katarina isn’t aware of how the relationships of the characters were like in the original game since she never finished). Maria is eventually able to become friends with everyone, and is easily able to hold conversations with Mary and Sophia without Katarina around. Maria is there to act as a straight man to Mary’s exaggerated attempts at hindering the boy’s time with Katarina, and Maria often acts as an ear to Mary’s gossips about other idols. Maria, while not an avid fan of novels as Sophia and Katarina, can still join conversations about books by asking details, recommendations and insights on books she’s already read. Maria can easily get along with the boys as well, since they are in each other’s presence most of the time due to her role. They don’t hesitate to help Maria whenever they can (despite her resistance), and she’s usually the one who stops the arguments between Gerald and Keith whenever they are in the middle of a job. 

Since Katarina ended p being so attached to Maria, the boys sometimes takes advantage of Maria’s role as a producer to have her work instead of attending to the woman of their affections (of course they feel somewhat bad about it, but it’s better than watching them look so love-struck with each other!) but it ends up backfiring when Katarina lets go of all her activities in favor of assisting Maria with her job as a producer.

Whenever Maria is free, she insists on borrowing the small kitchen in the Office in order to use the small over to bake some pastries and treats for her friends. Katarina constantly endorses the amazingness of Maria’s sweets, and they are both happy whenever their friends compliments the results of Maria’s hard work.

Compared to her work schedule in the game, Maria can now work comfortably as both an idol and a producer, thanks to the support and help of her friends. 

Sirius Dieke: The 5th Love Interest

Sirius Dieke is a non-payable character in Fortune Lover, who usually appears in Gerald and Nicol’s stories and side story events to explain things about the world and the past relationship of the characters.

He is another idol in Sorcier Pro, and is an old friend to Nicol.

In reality, he’s actually a hidden character within the game that can only be playable if you get a Friendship Ending in the first playthrough. Getting a neural ending is already super hard, so Sirius being playable wasn’t revealed until two months after the game initial release. The game is so good at hiding this fact that not even the dataminers were able to find evidence of his existence outside of being an NPC. 

Getting a Sirius Route is only possible in the New Game+ Mode, with story events and side story events dedicated to him alone. He only comes with only one new song though, so people in forums usually don’t recommend going to the Sirius Route in the second playthrough (unless you’re a completionist dgjfd)

There’s also the fact that Sirius’ Route has a completely different tone than the rest of the game. The developers of the game planned on removing his route in their game update, but due to the outcry of his fans, they kept it in, and even included a payed DLC where you can instantly unlock his route on your first playthrough. 

In Sirius’ Route, it’s revealed that he was the son of a former celebrity and one of his maids, and that his real name is Raphael Wolt. His mother quited her job just before he was born. They were ultimately hunted down by Mrs. Dieke, who refused to believe that her husband had a mistress.

Raphael and his mother were kidnapped by people payed by Mrs. Dieke, and as his mother begged for her to spare their lives, Mrs. Dieke’s plans were revealed: Her own son is ill and was slowly dying from an illness, and in her jealousy of Raphael’s strong physique and health, she has decided to take Raphael as her own son, as both him and her original son both looked like their fathers more than their mothers. 

In front of his eyes, Raphael’s mother was murdered in cold blood and Raphael was left to suffer from various degrees of shock therapy and blunt forces to the head in order to forcefully induce amnesia without killing him. He wakes up in the hospital bed with no memories of who he is, and Mrs. Dieke graciously plays the part of a concerned mother who is visiting her own son in order to sell the idea that Raphael is her own. 

In the background, a news headline states that a mother and son was found dead in an abandoned warehouse.

The doctor tells Mrs. Dieke that her son “Sirius” might not recover his memories, and despite the glee in her voice, Mrs. Dieke acts and pretends to be devastated by the news. Unbeknownst to both of them, Sirius did eventually regain his lost memories over time and realizes that the woman claiming to be his mother is in fact the very person who had killed his only family. 

Sirius learns that the reason Mrs. Dieke is so insistent on having a son was to be able to nurture and create a new star that would dazzle the entertainment world, with hopes of being able to live vicariously through her son’s career and success. Feeling disgust and hatred towards the woman that he is now forced to call “mother”, he plans to enact his revenge by destroying the entertainment world from the inside, exposing its ugliness to the world.

Sirius ends up becoming an idol because of the encouragement of his “mother”, leading him to be affiliated with Nicol and Gerald. He had already met them when they were all young, and he even planned to have them as allies in his quest to destroy the entertainment industry, only to find them as disappointingly bright eyed teens when they reunited.  

When Sirius finds out that it was the effect of Maria Campbell, their new producer, he decided to wage war against her for acting as a thorn to his perfect plans. It’s revealed that a lot of the bullying scenarios in the story mode was orchestrated by Sirius himself, in an attempt to get maria to lose her reputation and her job. 

Maria was able to trace back all the incidents to him, and confront him alone in the Office at night, before he left to go home. Sirius laughed and admitted to all of his past and crimes, and mocked Maria for having no proof against him. Instead of condemning him, Maria hugs him while telling him to change his ways. Despite the violent ways that he tries to get Maria off him, she doesn’t let go, trying to convince him that his way of acting in correspondence to his grief is wrong. Sirius cries as Maria spoke sense into him and dissected the flaws in his grand plan, until only the sound of his crying is left in the cold and empty office that day. 

In Hamefura, When Sirius finds out that this was the effect of the “saint” Katarina Claes, he had orchestrated various events that could lead Katarina to being condemned by the public through her supposed “bullying” of the public darling Maria. This plans fails, so he plans on using Maria as a form of blackmail to get Katarina to leave the entertainment world in exchange for her friend’s safety. Maria disappears for a few days, causing her friends to be very worried for her, especially Katarina who is somewhat aware of the events that were occurring. During the search, she was able to find Sirius and tried to engage in some small talk, until she remembered a detail that her old friend Acchan said about a dark and secret love interest. Without any thought, Katarina questioned Sirius about Maria’s disappearance, surprising him with her sudden awareness.

Sirius admits to his crimes, and before Katarina can escape, Sirius hit her on the head so she can lose consciousness, but not before screaming about how he hates her ignorant enthusiasm, how she changed his pawns and made them better people, and how he wont let her take his heart and change him as well before he could enact his revenge, with tears in his eyes. This act leads to Katarina going unconscious for a few days. In this come state, Katarina was able to gain information from her old friend Acchan that she can use to save Sirius and Maria. 

In the abandoned warehouse where “he” and his mother supposedly died, Sirius has Maria locked up, with no plans of letting her escape until he can guarantee that Katarina is out of the picture. He is shocked to find out that Katarina and her friends were able to find both of them; he goes on a rampage about how he wants to destroy the Dieke family and everyone associated with them and the cruel world they have created, before the feeling of despair and fear for his future leads him to almost taking his own life as a final escape. 

Katarina stops him, and tells him that both of them has no future, as a secret love interest and as a villainess, and how she can’t save him the way Maria can. But that if anything else, she can a least stay by his side and take some of the weight off his shoulders, like what her friends have been doing for her since the beginning. Katarina calls him by his real name, Raphael Wolt, leading him to unlocking the final memory that he had lost from his temporary amnesia:

A memory of his mother, in her final moments, telling Raphael that she will always be by his side, and that she wishes for him to have a happy future, even if it wouldn’t have her in it. Katarina’s words made him realize that this wasn’t what his mother would wanted for him, leading him to see the error of his ways. 

In both versions, it ends with Sirius turning himself in and confessing to the crimes of both him and Mrs. Dieke, leading to both of their arrest and the return/resurface of the Wolt Family murder case investigation. Sirius’ contract with Sorcier Entertainment gets terminated, and heavy manipulation of the media was used in order to prevent the story from coming into light. 

Since Raphael lacked any crimes that would have him arrested, he was set free and left the Dieke family as it slowly fell apart from the controversy. He announced that he wants to spend his freedom as himself, but will one day come back to all of them as a better person. 

Without Katarina realizing it, Raphael confesses that his rampage was caused by his fear of his desires for her and her company, and that he was scared that if she continued to open her arms to him in such an easy-going and warm fashion, he would lose all his will to have his revenge on the entertainment industry. Much to the annoyance of Katarina and Raphael’s friends, he takes her hand and promises to come back, to stay by her side, like she had promised to him. 

In the Raphael Ending, Maria and Raphael meets again years later as both were on the way to work. Maria has already left the entertainment business and had no plans of returning, while Raphael became a changed man with a good heart and a steady job. Eventually, Maria was able to fall in love with the good man that Raphael was always meant to be/has become, and Raphael was able to rekindle the love and affection that he felt for Maria when they were still idols together.

Raphael had declared that he will back, better than ever! As an idol? who knows :3c But where will he go from here...?

Fortune Lover 2/Fortune Lover Re:Dive

Spoilers for Volume 3 of Hamefura and beyond, since this is about FL2

I’ve had a bunch of ideas that I’d like for Fortune Lover 2, but I’m not really sure if I want to put it out there because it seems too fanfiction-y in a way?

I feel like my ideas are straying far away from the original version, which disappoints me in a way, but then again, My Idol Game version of Fortune Lover is nothing like the Otome Game counterpart, so I’ll still write about it. 

If you like the premise for an Idol Game style Fortune Lover, then feel free to just absorb the content above because for (my version of) Fortune Lover 2 to happen, Katarina will still get her bad end: Public Humiliation and Self-Banishment. I’ll save how it happens in part 4 

In Fortune Lover 2, there would be 3 new produce-able idols, but in My Next Life as an Idol, there will be 5 new idols:

this is what i meant when I said the plot is gonna feel like a fanfiction :DD

Fortune Lover 2 isn’t really a sequel, as it is like a bulkier and softly rewritten version of FL, like how Persona 3/4/5 remakes are to their original games.

FL2 introduces a new Idol Agency that is affiliated with Sorcier Entertainment: Mahouka Production (also known as MahoPro), a recently established talent agency created by a mysterious Director. Despite being new, they were able to quickly gain a following through the eccentric idols in their line-up.

With a longer story, halfway through the game you start being introduced to three new male idols: Sora Smith, Cyrus Lanchester and Dewey Percy. They are idols that are under MahoPro, who dislikes the idols of SorPro and claims to be their rivals.

They start out as rival characters in the game, taunting you (Maria) and the idols of Fortuna constantly for a few chapters. Some time after your initial introduction, you slowly get to know the boys, until you’re finally able to gain their trust. You can then start to secretly “produce” them without their Director knowing (just like Shika from IM@S Stella Stage), which leads to gaining events, scenes, idol clothes, songs and CGs of the three new boys.

As the new character gets introduced later into the story mode, they are more of an optional route, as the game still prioritizes the original 4 boys over the new cast. You can still “romance” the 3 new characters, but since they are introduced late, it can only be done at the expense of focusing on them almost exclusively during story events and side stories so that you can quickly gain Relationship Points for them.

So basically, halfway through the game, you have the option to produce 11 idols: Yourself (Maria), Gerald, Alan, Keith, Nicol, Mary, Sophia, Raphael, Sora, Dewey and Cyrus. The first 5 being obligatory, while the last 6 are optional

Rufus Smith (or “Sora”, as he reveals to you his real name during the story) is new idol in MahoPro who was able to quickly gain a female following due to his attractive figure and maxed-out sex appeal. Many compare him to Nicol Ascart due to the fact that he is slowly taking a lot of his jobs (or works alongside him at times) due to his handsome face. While both of them are handsome models, the public is aware that there is no point in pining the two against each other since their beauty works in different ways.

In the story (and as hinted in a few side story events), he was a slum rat who didn’t have much for himself. One day, he met a man who had join him and his fellow slum dwellers into their territory, a man by the name of David. The man was able to give Sora a new perspective on life, his new name, as well as how to sing. After David died, he wandered around the country, doing dirty jobs for shady adults for money. A few years later, we was caught singing in the streets by a man who offered to take care of him and cultivate him as an idol at the age of 13, complimenting him for his beauty and his singing. While Sora rejected the offer, the man’s words never left his mind. He started out by singing in the street for change, then getting singing jobs at cafes/live houses/restaurants for money, until he suddenly got a small following as an underground idol. The Director of MahoPro offers a place for Sora, alongside with giving him jobs as a full-fledged idol that can help him provide for himself, leading him to be affiliated with Sorcier Entertainment. 

Sora starts out having a rather sarcastic relationship with Maria, thinking that she is one of the many women who throws themselves at him to get his attention. He always gives her back handed compliments as always has a vicious tone when speaking. As the story progresses, Sora realizes that Maria isn’t disgusted by his history, and realized that Maria is truly a good and kind person. Sora starts to unconsciously seek her out, trying to reverse the bad impression that he must have left on her and to be with someone who doesn’t look at him lowly, like the other adults and idols of SorEn who dislikes people that aren’t of celebrity-upbringing.

Dewey Percy is a young idol that auditioned for Sorcier Pro. and won, but was rejected at the last minute in favor of a less talented wannabe-idol who was related to a famous actor. The Director of MahoPro came to Dewey with an offer as an idol, acknowledging his talents in music and dancing that he evidently have been polishing for years. In his town, Dewey was known as a Music Prodigy, as he was talented in singing, dancing, acting and playing instruments, though that’s not to say that those weren’t the effects of his own hard work. Because his family wasn’t the absolute best financially, he decided to audition as an idol in order to get jobs despite being young.

Dewey is revealed to be somewhat of a childhood friend to Maria, as he lived in the same town as her. Despite this, he is very wary of her due to the bad impressions left on his by Sorcier Pro. after he almost lost his chance at becoming an idol. Dewey absolutely hated asking for help, even when it was draining him down. He is very desperate to keep his title as a music prodigy, even though he knows it’ll be drowned once he’s in a battlefield of idols. (Also he tries very desperately to be seen as a mature and hot idol, despite his youth and appearance giving him a cute one instead lol) 

Maria realizes how hard Dewey is pushing himself, and convinces him over multiple instances that he doesn’t need to be hard on himself and suffer alone. Maria offers herself as a shoulder to lean on, making Dewey embarrassed but happy at the idea that he can finally have someone to rely on, and that he doesn’t need to be alone anymore. They were also able to bond about their similar upbringing, making Dewey feel at home in the arms of Maria despite being miles away from their town. 

Cyrus Lanchester is an idol from a different agency, who was transferred to MahoPro by the time the events of the game began. He has a very strict personality, and is an overall perfectionist as an idol. He was let go from his original Agency because his strictness and tendency to scold his fellow idols caused his peers (who are a bunch of lazy and stuck up children of celebrities) to take him out because they didn’t vibe with his attitude. Before his original producer was able to tell him that he was done as an idol, the Director of MahoPro offered a place for him in their new agency. 

While being grateful to the Director for taking him in, he does not hold back in letting everyone know about his distaste for their odd Director. While is he very talented as an idol, he is just using it as a chance to learn more about the industry and gain connections that he can use to be a part of it in the near future. 

While he doesn’t start as wary of Maria as his fellow male idols, he insist on keeping distance with her due to the fact that they are of different agencies, as well as the fact that he is not good at dealing with women.

Notes

(I’ll have to rewrite Cyrus and Dewey’s descriptions after Volume 7 comes out, since I don’t have much to work with. I’ll add the Sora, Cyrus and Dewey endings in the edit as well.)

I know some part of Maria and Sirius’ backstory doesn’t make any sense but just use your imagination lol hgjgfjsfgd

More about Katarina, the silhouettes, the Director, and how it affects the story on the next part :DD my fingers really hurt from all this typing hgjsdgfjs

If ever i’m dissatisfied with what I have here and end up changing things, don’t be surprised jhfjshdgfs

Next Part is gonna be plot points that I want for this AU and a bit of FL2, so sorry if the next one might not be that exciting fsjhgfjsd

feedback and suggestions are very much appreciated! Thank you to the few people who are interested in this AU :DD

[therappundit]

Best of the 1st Half: 2020′s Best Rap Projects (*so far*)...

“I’ve had, the halftime of my life...!”

*record scratch*

2020, WHAT THE F**K. 😳

Ohhh what a first half it has been. If 2020 ended today, it would still be one of the most historic years in a century...and NOT in a pleasant way. Years from now 2020 will be studied for the long-term damage caused by the COVID-19 pandemic, the potential breaking point (hopefully??) of this country’s ignorance to systematic racism and the need for a complete overhaul of our police departments, and of course, whatever the hell comes from the November Presidential election....and, not to mention whatever additional ‘tbd’ chaos rings in the second half of ‘20 that we haven’t even heard about yet!? These are trying times, folks.

My whole life, I have tried to use humor and entertainment to help me with processing high levels of stress and anxiety. This year, that process has felt more daunting than usual. I am writing less and less, and often find Twitter to be too dark of a place for me to navigate. It’s anything but a fulfilling “escape”. Still, I am constantly inspired by all of the new music that fills my headspace during life’s precious little moments, and it really keeps me grounded in the day to day. 

At the end of 2019, I wrote the below in one of my posts. It took me back to a special feeling that I had, at a moment when the future seemed more like an opportunity, rather than a worrisome question mark. I’m going to work towards finding that place again, and I wanted to re-share this because it speaks to how the love of any art can be a healthy reminder of what we have to be thankful for in our daily lives:

“Regardless of how you feel about this list, I hope that you visit (or re-visit) any one of these pieces of strong work and find the same level of enjoyment that I did. I loved so much rap music this year and I could not be more excited about what the future holds. On a personal note, in 2019 I found myself even more in love with my wife, feeling luckier than I have in a long time, more satisfied with my hobbies and passions, and above all else, more in awe of my child (and anyone that ever raised a child) than ever before. I became a father for the first time in 2019, so as my baby daughter continues to fill my heart, I am beginning to wonder what she will think of her father’s love for this art form that has brought him so much joy over the years…I suppose time will tell.”

This list is long, because I think the talent that went into these projects is worth your time (and I put a lot of thought into creating this list as well...I do not work in the industry or know anyone that does, and I do not have any real platform - I just do this because I love the music).

If you are an artist on this list, I want to thank you, because you helped me stay positive and focused on a brighter future that I hope will soon come to us all...because everyone has been through something this year, and we deserve better.  So salute to you and many, many others. 🙏🙏🙏

- THE Rap Pundit

The “Rules” for my list of the Best Projects of Q1-Q2 2020:

- the album/mixtape/EP/project/whatever you want to call it had to be released this year, by June 26, 2020

- the project must have at least 6 songs 

- these rankings are a combination of my own personal preference, my take on overall quality of the project (whether it speaks deeply to my sensibilities or not), and how the final product compares to other work from the artists’ peers that occupy the same lane/‘sub-genre’ of rap music

So here we go 👀...

1. The Price of Tea in China by Boldy James and The Alchemist

Sometimes the greatest albums are not the most ambitious or flashy, they are remembered based off the strength of artistic chemistry and execution. Basketball fans know the beauty of a perfectly timed chest pass to a teammate streaking towards the basket can be more impressive than a behind the back pass that’s simply done for the sake of showing everyone that you can do a fancy pass. Staying with that theme, The Price of Tea in China is The Alchemist doing his best John Stockton impression, serving to Boldy James’ Karl Malone, and by album’s end you realize that Boldy scored a quiet 40 points while making this rap shit look like an easy lay-up.

TPOTIC finds Boldy sprinkling every ounce of his Detroit seasoning into Al’s pot to yield one of the most Mobb Deep-esque collaboration albums since Mobb Deep was dropping albums. In turn, this project is not only Boldy’s greatest work, but it serves as a re-introduction of a veteran MC that is suddenly more relevant than ever.  Much like what Freddie Gibbs and Madlib did with 2019′s Bandana, this project is a great lesson on what MC and Producer chemistry can sound like when both parties are 100% on the same page when it comes to message, tone, and aesthetic goals. 

It would make sense that Boldy James would fall into the Griselda fold, because much like Westside Gunn, Conway The Machine and Benny The Butcher, he comes from a city with a rich rap music scene that still struggles to reach the level of exposure that the NYCs, L.A.’s, Chicago's and Atlanta’s have basked in for so long. He writes from a place of “been there, done that”, showing a rich attention to detail that separates his street tales from that of his peers in the same way someone telling a story second or third hand can’t match the level of detail that an eye witness has saved in the memory bank. Boldy has survived both real world and music business challenges to rise from the ashes of “hey whatever happened to so & so, he was about to blow” conversations to reach a new peak in his mid-30′s. He deserved this suite of incredible Alchemist soundscapes (Al is deep in his bag here, delivering some of his most low-key impressive instrumentals in years), and like his super-producer buddy, Boldy is looking down at us from atop an already prolific 2020 at its’ midpoint.  

I’m not sure anyone can match the chemistry that Prodigy and Mobb Deep had with The Alchemist, but in 2020, The Price of Tea in China delivers some of the most brutally subdued, occasionally humorous, stripped down rap records since P was throwing TV’s at us like he had nothing left to lose. If The Price of Tea in China isn’t holding the championship at year’s end, it still deserves to be mentioned as an impressive work by one of the strongest title-worthy unions running the pick and roll in the genre today.

2. Àdá Irin by Navy Blue 

Okay let’s be honest: the “sub-genre” that is often referred to as lo-fi rap music (whether you consider it an actual lane or not, I know you know what I’m talking about...which I suppose proves its’ existence, right?), is beginning to suffer from the same affliction that all other sub-genres tend to suffer from once the word is out that this is “the thing” that the kids find trendy right now. A lot of folks in this lane sound *exactly* the same to the average listener. I’m not even the average listener, and I often feel that way. The irony that comes with being part of the sound that’s supposed to be bucking the mainstream clone machine turning into a mini-clone machine itself, means that the window is in danger of closing to avoid over-saturation of the artists that are already thriving between the gravelly, whisper-welcoming walls of Soundcloud URLs and Bandcamp EPs being slid to their heady fanbase with zero promotion. So with that all being said...why give Navy Blue a chance?

Navy Blue lacks the name recognition of many of his peers (for now), but he has now been thriving in the lo-fi pocket for some time as both a MC and producer, a young artist that’s closely connected to the lane’s most famous figureheads (Earl Sweatshirt, and to some extent, Mach-Hommy), as well as less heralded trailblazers like MIKE and the whole sLUms collective. Sure you can check out Navy’s Soundcloud page to get a taste of his work, but with this Àdá Irin album, we don’t just hear raw snippets of a freshly discovered unsigned talent. With this album we hear Navy as a self-assured solo artist, capable of sharing an inspirational song with the likes of Ka and sounding like every bit of the veteran next to the iconic soft-spoken lyricist. This is a very, very impressive debut full length album that showcases the best that the (sub)genre has to offer: some experimentation, jazzy loops, the diary-like intimacy of words that sit like dust on an old basement book shelf, and the raw emotions that come from working through love, pain and loss in real time. In 2020 there may be nothing completely new under the sun, but it’s the aesthetic choices that Navy Blue makes with every verse and every instrumental that make Àdá Irin feel like a perfect balance of beauty and sadness. If you want to dip a toe in this water but you’re not sure you can get into the mumblecore-ish world of MIKE, MAVI, Medhane or Earl’s work from the past two years, this Navy Blue album might actually be the perfect intro.

3. A Written Testimony by Jay Electronica (featuring JAY-Z)

Not a lot of positive breaking news in 2020...but when Jay Electronica surprised Twitter with a few cryptic Tweets back in February, implying that he was dropping an album (and Jay-Z would likely be involved), the rap game was set ablaze with excitement, skepticism, disbelief, and hope (albeit with some measured caution there as well). 

This is something that fans, and arguably the entire rap world, had been clamoring for for a decade, many long since moving on believing that Jay Elec’s debut album had gone the way of Detox, sharing “1a & 1b” status as the most eagerly anticipated projects none of us seriously expected to hear. 

Then it dropped....and then it went. In a Twitter-run rap world, quality is too often measured by how long a piece of art stays within the “trending” mix, as opposed to...well, whether or not it’s actually good! The truth is, A Written Testimony is not just good, it’s very, very good, and while it’s not the “Illmatic 2″ that some may have been expecting, realistically it’s superior to what I imagined a new project from such a reclusive artist would sound like in 2020. If you at least try to table the expectations laid out when “Exhibit C” came out in 2009...I think you will find a project (it’s up to you whether or not you want to count this a “solo debut” or not, but at this point, it’s new Jay Electronica - can we just leave it at that??) stacked with memorable moments, quotable gems throughout, stellar production (this is one of the best produced projects of 2020 by far, not sure how/why this piece of the puzzle would receive anything less than acclaim), and some moments of questionable preaching made more palatable by a strong overall voice and package.

Jay Electronica raps with conviction throughout, and while the project feels brief, it lasts long enough to be more than a quick feeling, even if many feel that it’s not long enough to feel like a full album. If "Exhibit C" was the teaser then this is the redband trailer, flashing enough skill and details to resonate for far longer than its’ duration. Much has been said about the heavy hand of JAY-Z on most of the project’s 7 tracks, but let’s be clear, this is not Watch The Throne 2 (even though at points, it may feel like something along those lines). Yes, in impressive fashion, Hov comes through riding shotgun to show a deeper shade of one of his more complex dimensions, with many of his rhymes begging for dissection with every bar. However, AWT features a JAY-Z that’s rapping through Jay Electronica’s lens, not by any means where 4:44 or Everything Is Love left off. This is definitely a Jay Electronica album. AWT dives in and out of Jay Electronica’s beliefs in broad strokes that appear and disappear rather quickly, but even when certain verses raise more questions than provide answers, every song still has at least a handful of the gripping words that remind us of what made Jay Elec-Hanukkah sound like the chosen one in the first place (his tussle with writer’s block and hesitation to put out any art make for some of the projects most engaging moments).

If A Written Testimony is the last Jay Electronica album we ever here - which I truly hope it is not the case - it is still a memorable piece of work. So if you were one of the folks that moved on from it after the “surprise” of Jay finally dropping a project subsided, I hope you change that stance and revisit it once again.

4. Descendants of Cain by Ka

“Quiet and frigid disposition, growin' up in the cold /  Surprised I ain't get high from what I was low enough to behold /  Like when Pops shot at the neighbor's shop, put one in his head /  He knew how he grew me, threw me the gun, a hundred, and fled /  Didn't play, 'fore po' arose dispose of exhibit A / I was raised to age a few years in a day /  If not elite, didn't eat if you didn't pray /  As much as I heal, had to deal, all my scars are here to stay /  Our senseis spent days peddling /  Our heroes sold heroin.” - Ka, “Patron Saints”

He makes it seem almost too easy. If the writing wasn't so gripping, you might not even revisit it. Ka’s Descendants of Cain arrived with little fanfare, except for the collective awe of his humble but religiously devoted fan-base. The religious devotion is an important piece here, as Cain adds to Ka’s quietly impressive discography another strong album that leans on classic scribes as inspiration to spin poignant metaphors on Brooklyn street philosophy. 

This time, the classic work is the Christian Bible, and Ka being the brilliant MC/poet that he is, seems to have little trouble working with the medium to preach without sounding preachy, and wax familiar-sounding nostalgia over wax that sounds as dusty as it feels fresh, rich, and urgent. Producing much of the album himself, along with a few trusted collaborators, the album’s strength is in its’ density, as each song feels like it requires a pause to unpack every bar...and to be honest, that’s exactly the type of attention this work deserves. If you missed this one in the first half of 2020′s feverish dump of new releases, you need to remedy that immediately.

5. Pray for Paris by Westside Gunn 

If The Alchemist is the overall rap music MVP for his many contributions to 2020 thus far,  Westside Gunn may deserve at least a few honorable mentions. From becoming the ambassador of Buffalo New York to stepping up as an ambassador of the underground rap resurgence, I don’t think any other rap artist has done more to run with the torch that Roc Marciano has been waving for a damn decade than the Griselda mastermind. If you happened to hear Gunn name-dropping to Peter Rosenberg on Rosenberg’s long-standing Real Late show on Hot 97, you know exactly what I mean. Shouting-out close allies and lesser known peers alike, Gunn’s presence proudly announced the underground movement’s invasion of the highly known New York City radio station. It felt like ECW invading WWE’s Monday Night Raw all over again. Of course Gunn’s voice was met with more ears than usual during that interview, since that appearance came hot off the heels of the release of his much discussed side project turned full-blown album, Pray for Paris.

By now most fervent rap fans know the story behind the album (a project that miraculously arrived to completion while Gunn was suffering from the affects of coronavirus), but for many Pray for Paris is the introduction to the story of Griselda Records and the world that they revel in. If Conway the Machine and Benny the Butcher are responsible for the Griselda team’s grittiest street tales, Westside Gunn’s success leans on his ability to blur the line between all-too-real violence and cartoon violence, splattered with elite luxury references and shout-outs for his fellow wrestling addicts. The song titles are merely scattered trains of thoughts that may or may not have anything directly to do with a song’s actual meaning, it’s like naming your child ‘brunch in Williamsburg’ just because it was the last meal you happened to have that day. An audience brought up on Lil Wayne as the God MC may be completely lost at the appeal, but audiences brought up on Wu, DOOM and Sean Price know exactly what vibe Westisde Gunn is going for.

At times Gunn can come across as more of a talent curator than a stand alone MC, so if this is the album that takes Gunn to the next level as a rap star, it would make him the most unselfish rap star to come along in some time. A rapper doesn’t jump on an Alchemist produced track with the likes of Freddie Gibbs and Roc Marciano and expect to leave with anything but the Bronze medal. The same can be said for his chopped and screwed contribution to “Claiborne Kick”, which clearly belongs to Boldy James. That’s not to say that Gunn’s verse is a weak moment on any of the joints on Paris, but the fact that he consistently surrounds himself with high caliber writers confirms that he is well aware that the quality of the final product will be determined by the team involved, not just the artists’ name on the album cover.

For someone that considers himself more of an artist than a rapper, he continues to paint intriguing collages with every album, featuring him at the center of an ever-expanding portrait of MCs, producers, singers, designers, and dancers. Pray for Paris is a typical Griselda project that also happens to sport the potential of something larger than most of their fanbase ever imagined. Yes we get the dark backdrops, elite underground production, and quotables throughout, but we also get a few additional shades, as Gunn dabbles with a “beauty and the beast” dynamic that cleanly pairs his violent imagery with fashionista pomp and circumstance (which no doubt helped draw the likes of Wale and Tyler, the Creator to this project). But t’s all less of a solo album to push a mainstream solo career forward, and much more of a cannonball through the mainstream wall, just to allow some sunlight to shine on his people...and his city, for that matter - because best believe, Paris may be the inspiration behind the project but Buffalo, New York is still with him every step of the way. 

6. Alfredo by Freddie Gibbs and The Alchemist

A highly enjoyable surprise drop from two-thirds of the potent combination that gave us the fan favorite project that was Fetti (shout-out to Curren$y, though), Alfredo feels like the perfect treat to hold us over during these trying times. It feels rushed, but simultaneously sharp and activated. It has the feeling of a controlled experiment that was slapped together in separate rooms, rather than carefully curated by multiple artists hunched over the same mixer for days on end. Alfredo is more of a display of two power hitters putting on an impressive showing at a Home Run Derby, rather than the collaboration that has been slowly simmering for years...but that’s also part of the fun, because it feels like Al & Fredo (eh?) were just as excited to release it as we all were to hear it.

Neither party is reinventing the wheel here, but if you are going to have a rapper and a producer connect for an album of great rapping over great beats, you would be hard pressed to find a more natural pairing than these two. The Alchemist delivers with samples that channel the speakeasy jazz of an old piano, and Freddie is simply the king of hard-rap soul right now, so he excels on every song. There are moments of darkness, moments of hope, and moments of self reflection (Gibbs is a logical choice to swing haymakers back at cops abusing their power), all delivered by Freddie at a break-neck speed over Al's significantly less urgent production....as if Gibbs frantically spilled his guts to his buddy over the phone while Al was kickin’ back with a joint saying “uh-huh...yup, I hear ya man.” The final result is an effective one, if not a quick teaser of what a lengthier amount of collaboration time between the two might sound like. It should also be said that the guest verses on this album (especially those from Tyler, The Creator and Conway) took this album up a few spots on this ‘best of’ list. Alfredo is easily one of the strongest surprises of 2020.

7. Reasonable Drought by Stove God Cook$ and Roc Marciano

There is a tradition in the rap music biz that newer/younger artists are often shepherded along by more seasoned artists in order to insure that the less experienced artist is blessed with the built-in audience that comes with a co-sign. It doesn’t always work, but typically the initiation comes with a solid musical foundation on a debut project accompanied by a greener MC still finding his/her way. Not the case with Stove God Cook$, he is perhaps the most unexpectedly fresh MC to be cut from classic rap cloth since Griselda & Mach-Hommy began to build cult-like followings.

While Reasonable Drought (and seriously, how bold of a title is that for a debut!?) is blessed by the impressive production and mentorship of underground rap icon Roc Marciano, it truly is the lesser known MC himself that captures the imagination right from the get-go. When I say that in my life time, I cannot recall such a strong debut performance by a MC that I have heard virtually no work from prior to his 2019 emergence, with the help of minimal publicity/ad budget (if any? Cook$ was barely on social media until *after* his album had already been released) on his way to dropping an album with zero features...then you should take my recommendation very seriously. Fresh style, some of the most rewind-worthy quotables in recent memory (an Uncle Buck reference!? Bow down, people), and a new following built exclusively on the word of mouth of equal-minded folks that were blown away by a project many copped on a passing whim... it’s clear that this moment could be the beginning of an amazing, fascinating career. 

Similar to Roc Marciano before him, Cook$ possesses a rare flare with his wordplay and delivery that makes even the ugliest tales of coke dealing and disrespectful criminal activity sound like the colorful exploits of a post-Blaxploitation hero. He delivers every bar with the uber-specific word choice of Roc, but the outgoing swag of a Max B. The man that has people that never touched cocaine in their life singing that they’re “smelling like a brick right now”, is smelling like a winner in 2020 and beyond.

8. Battle Scar Decorated by Monday Night & Henny L.O.

Last call to board the Mutant Academy bandwagon! 

I have been saying that this deep underground collective of MCs & producers has been low key having a banner year all year long, and scrolling through this list you can see exactly what I mean. Henny L.O. is too good to be slotted as just a battle rapper, while Monday Night is far too strong of a presence to be considered a mere associate of the core Mutant team. When you think of Mutant Academy and their respective affiliated acts, think of them as a gathering of solo artists that happen to make dope rap music together, but all parties involved are capable of standing on their own two. I think that’s what consistently impresses me about their projects...hat, and the lack of filler material.

Along with a deep Rolodex of mostly under-the-radar talent, the hunger and confidence of a thriving Richmond, Viriginia rap scene is present on every track of Battle Scar Decorated. Much like many of my favorite albums of 2020, there is no reinventing of the wheel here, the triumph is in the execution. Monday & Henny tag in and out, each with the confidence that they have spit the best verse on the song before they have even finished. It’s that level of ability combined with a shocking amount of production talent that makes Battle Scar Decorated essential listening to anyone that wants to be reminded of a vibe that hasn’t been in abundance in the underground rap scene since L.A. in the late 90′s. It wouldn’t be fair to talk about how much I enjoyed this project without including the great producers involved, so a big s/o to: Sycho Sid, C.R.I.S.T.E.N, James Couch, Savvy, Heather Grey, and Ewonne.

9. Eastern Medicine, Western Illness by Preservation

Accompanied by a who’s who of underground hip-hop’s finest (Roc Marciano, Mach-Hommy, Your Old Droog, Quelle Chris, Nickelus F, Tree, Navy Blue, Billy Woods, Ka *and more* - I mean seriously!?), Preservation has assembled an impressively cohesive compilation album both sonically and thematically. 

Incorporating record samples from his travels in China, Eastern Medicine, Western Illness feels born in simplicity even though it is anything but a casual collection of dope verses over tightly wound production. A quietly gifted producer, Preservation knows how to squeeze the best out of his guests without shouting the results through the speakers, the choices are more subtle but yield a high impact and replay value. Listening to the project feels more like listening to a secret, unreleased project, because it’s hard to believe that this much talent would gift this much high caliber writing to a compilation of songs...although that was not uncommon in the 90′s and early 00′s (ah, I’m showing my old age again). Perhaps that’s a testament to Preservation’s vision, a DJ/producer with a relatively small catalog built on curated quality (see his fantastic 2015 collaboration with Ka on Days With Dr. Yen Lo). Eastern Medicine has enough talent involved that it could have been a worthy listen even if it was just as a hodgepodge of donated loosies, so the fact that the final product is so much more than that makes it an album that warrants a great deal of more attention.

10. The Allegory by Royce Da 5′9″

No accomplished lyricist makes life harder on himself than Royce Da 5′9″. Be it his tendency to cram personal observations and disclosures in and around his punchlines, or experimenting production wise, the Detroit veteran is intent on finding new ways to approach fine wine music, tossing more complex offerings into his catalog over the past few years. Things are no different with The Allegory. 

Not only did Royce once again pen an album that speaks to his ability to cope with his own past and present, he inserts himself in the producer chair as well, addressing the trials and tribulations of the increasingly problematic world around him, over backdrops crafted by only his hand a a few trusted peers. The effect is mostly successful, with the production exceeding the expectations of many (myself included), while the writing is at times both thought-provoking and in need of further exploration on Royce’s part. The guest features range from effective to scene stealing (not because Royce ‘s verse is outshined, but there are moments where it seems as if the guest is better suited over Royce’s own production than he is). If you’re Royce Da 5′9″ and you release an album titled The Allegory, no one should expect a simple quick fix of bars over easily digestible instrumentals. The highs come in abundance, and while the lows come in small trip-ups and the occasional skit that the listener probably could have done without, you get the sense that with some editing and further focus of his lofty goals, his sermons could have been sharpened into a more effective analysis of many of his topics (the music business, being black in America, history, conspiracy theories), resulting in an incredible album instead of a very good one. Nevertheless, it is all worth the ride to hear the latest work from one of rap music’s most gifted MC’s from the past decade. If The Allegory isn’t a home-run, it’s at the very least a strong base hit.

Top 50 (all belong in the Top 10-25, but...there’s only 25 spots in the Top 25, soooo):

11. Cold Water by Medhane

12. Shrines by Armand Hammer

13. Bag Talk by yungmorpheus & Pink Siifu

14. Try Again by ovrkast.

15. RTJ4 by Run The Jewels

16. Noise Kandy 4 by Rome Streetz

17. Innocent Country 2 by Quelle Chris

18. Weight of the World by MIKE

19. Sages by Henny L.O. & Ohbliv

20. Milestones by Skyzoo

21. Carpe Noctem by Big Ghost Ltd

22. Lake Water by SeKwence

23. At the End of the Day. by Fly Anakin

24. Sole Food by Deniro Farrar

25. The Oracle 3 by Grafh

26. The Blue Tape by Tree

27. lo&behold by lojii

28. Infinite Wisdom by Lord Jah-Monte Ogbon

29. FULL CIRCLE by Medhane

30. UNLOCKED by Denzel Curry & Kenny Beats

31. The Throwaways by The Opioid Era

32. Anyways by Young Nudy

33. PTSD (Deluxe) by G Herbo

34. Holly Favored by Monday Night & Foisey

35. THE GOAT by Polo G

36. Demon & Mufasa by Yhung T.O. & DaBoii 

37. The Face of Jason by ANKHLEJOHN

38. My Turn by Lil Baby 

39. No One Mourns the Wicked by Conway & Big Ghost Ltd.

40. Two4one by Jay Worthy 

41. Free Drakeo by Drakeo

42. Alone Time by YL

43. Assata by CV$ a.k.a. Con$piracy & Teller Bank$

44. Thug Tear by Big Kashuna O.G. & Monday Night

45. Ways and Means by Rasheed Chappell & 38 Spesh

46. IMMORTALKOMBAT by Al Divino & Estee Nack

47. Young & Turnt 2 by 42 Dugg

48. Sleeper Effect by Sleep Sinatra

49. Juno by Che Noir & 38 Spesh

50. LULU by Conway & The Alchemist

THE REST OF THE BEST (all belong in the Top 50 releases of 2020, but..what can I say, blame 2020 for being such a stacked year for music/events I guess):

Black Schemata by yungmorpheus,  The Smartest by Tee Grizzley,  Polly by the Powder Keg by Chuck Chan & Pad Scientist,  High Off Life by Future,  Gotham City Album by Plex Diamonds,  Memphis Massacre 2 by Duke Deuce, Poetic Substance by RIM & Vinyl Villain,  Styles David: Ghost Your Enthusiasm by Styles P,  MF Bloo by Bloo & Spanish Ran,  LSD by The Leonard Simpson Duo & Guilty Simpson,  Funeral by Lil Wayne,  RAW UNKNOWN by Spectacular Diagnostics,  Nezzie’s Star by Eddie Kaine,  ShrapKnel (self-titled),  The Bluest Note by Skyzoo & Dumbo Station,  WUNNA by Gunna,  Get Money Teach Babies by Heist Life & Spanish Ran,  Open Casket by Killer Kane,  6 Rings by Yung Mal,  The Beauty of It by Eto,  Meet The Woo 2 by Pop Smoke,  Fresh Air by UFO Fev & Statik Selektah,  Vito by Vince Ash,  GRIMM & EViL by GRiMM Doza,  RUDEBWOY by CJ Fly,  Rocket to Nebula by Killah Priest,  EVERYTHING by Kota the Friend,  NO Blade of Grass by V Don,  Eternal Atake by Lil Uzi Vert,  I’m My Brother’s Keeper by Yella Beezy & Trapboy Freddy,  Carhartt Champions by Tree Mason,  Viral Viral! by Dunbar,  Rowhouse Whispers by Ray West & Zilla Rocca,  Magneto Was Right #4 by Raz Fresco,  DUMP LIFE by Tha God Fahim, Jay NiCE & Left Lane Didon,  Burn One, Tap In, Zone Out by Dot Demo,  FNTG: From Niggaz to Godz by Squeegie O,   PANAGNL4E, Vol. 2 by Los and Nutty,  Death 2 All Haterz 2 by Rigz & Symph,  Thank You For Using GTL by Drakeo & JoogSzn,  Adjust to the Game by Larry June,  Martyr’s Prayer by Elcamino & 38 Spesh,  BETTER by Deante’ Hitchcock,  Attack of the Future Shocked, Flesh Covered, Meatbags of the 85 by $ilkMoney,  No Cosign Just Cocaine 3 by Ty Farris,  Hear No Equal by Chuuwee,  MSYKM by Tsu Surf,  Your Birthday’s Cancelled by Iron Wigs,  Spring Clean by Curren$y & Fuse,  Arctic Plus Degrees (The Sun Don’t Chill Allah) by Planet Asia & DirtyDiggs,  Psychological Cheat Sheet by Vic Spencer, Glass 2.0 by Meyhem Lauren & Harry Fraud,  Trust the Chain by Planet Asia & 38 Spesh, Director’s Cut (Scene Two) by Ransom & Nicholas Craven, and Son Of A Gun by Key Glock.

[jlf23tumble]

Top 10 Niche Interests

Fixations? Obsessions? This is incredibly hard because I have wayyyy too many niche interests, so instead of stressing about it, I tried to channel the 10 things that immediately speak to me and maybe aren't so obvious from what I post here, like how much I'm obsessed with wigs, doll furniture, incredibly specific blogs, all forms of clothing with pockets, swimming pools, whimsical bus stops, over-the-top bathrooms, etc. etc Instead, I opted for some specifics that feel a little more evergreen and long tailed, like, so LIFE-long tailed that it's tough to nail down when or how they became part of the national psyche. I thank @alienfuckeronmain​ for the initial tag, and I'm tagging her AGAIN for round two because I know she has a billion additional niche things, and she'll post them, and I'll scream because it'll trigger five other things I neglected to post here, and I'll probably post my own round two, arggggh, insert aggressive sighing. Anyway, I tag ANYONE who wants to do it, just tag me so I can see! 

1. Indoor Trees

I have no idea why this concept PULLS so hard because houseplants are kind of meh to me, but you want to plant an entire-ass TREE indoors, in the place where you live? Me, too, and I'd add a conversation pit plus a combo gold/red bathroom, among other things, and, bam, we're in my imaginary dream home, which I have literally, constantly ALWAYS mentally constructed from the time I was about six or so. (If you're curious, it has multiple themed rooms, and the closest I've seen to it recently is the outstanding Dita von Teese AD feature, but Amy Sedaris’s apartment comes close, too). There are two (2) 1960s houses in Long Beach with magnificent indoor trees, but I can't find them online, so have this modern interpretation and cry with me about how I can't visit the multi-story fake tree inside Clifton's Cafeteria for a good long while:

2. Conventions of Fans of Any Kind

One thing that I don't think I'll ever lose is how much I *love* people who are fans of SOMETHING, people who have a passion and create something about it or cosplay it or simply gather to celebrate it and connect to other people through it. The Internet provides in all kinds of ways, but I'm talking specifically about IRL conventions and the way my heart pitter pats when I first walk in those doors, SWOON! And it doesn’t matter how big the convention is or how random, I've been to smaller events like CatCon and the My Little Pony convention all the way up to biggies like WonderCon and Comic Con, and I have yet to be disappointed. I might know jack shit about what I'm walking into, but I want to see the merch, hear about the panels, and check out the people who are fucking PUMPED to be there. Sadly, I think it's gonna be a lonnnnng time until these come back, but I can live vicariously through my old photos, sigh:

3. Dutch Wax Fabrics and African Fashion

I'm not the snazziest of dressers, but textiles, colors, and patterns have been an obsession that has soothed my visual soul for as long as I can literally remember. Wax fabric marries all three of those touchpoints, plus throws in a healthy dose of style, and I count myself lucky to have seen two big exhibits on the subject (this was one of them), oh, how I wish there were more! For sure, there's a fucked up underlying colonial/imperialist history here, but there's also humor and color and vibrancy, a reclamation of sorts, and multiple levels of fashion that take my breath away. I cannot do the different patterns justice at all, but the fan motif is one of my faves:

4. Hearst Castle vs. Madonna inn

These two fall into my #home tag because they're where I'm from, and they speak to me as equally sublime and ridiculous, camp and kitsch writ large and small, different (yet similar!) versions of Xanadu that two rich white men built as shrines to their own personal "taste." And the irony is that a lot of people shit on Alex Madonna for being tacky (the Madonna Inn is...uh, something else), yet praise WR Hearst for all the high-class art and architecture, most of which is fully lifted from desperate churches between and after world and yet they're both more or less the same concept (lodging for weary travelers, self-aggrandizement, questionable taste-mixing). Hearst Castle edges out slightly for me because it's bigger and has spectacular scenery and history, plus it gives me doses of LA noir thanks to the way Hearst killed a guy in a jealous Charlie Chaplin-related rage and Hedda Hopper covered it up, all kinds of old Hollywood shenanigans happened up there, etc. But I'm low-key an expert on both houses of the holy, I'm OBSESSED with both, and we can leave it at that. I mean, come on:

5. Snow Globes

I had to cull my personal collection slightly just to fit it all on the dedicated shelf in my bathroom, and I seriously need to refill all the water lines, but nothing beats a snow globe in terms of memorable souvenir, especially when you put it in a bathroom. The majesty!!! The jewel of my collection is the one from Sherwood Forest because WHY NOT celebrate a historic place and moment in the basic way?? He robbed from the rich to give to the poor, and the gift shop about 100 feet from the tree he hid in does the same! The circle of life! The irony of all the watermarks on this blessed image...protect:

6. Highly Specific Museums

Look, we can all agree that the more venerated museums in the world are a form of garbage in terms of what they represent, what they've done, and who runs them, but I'm here for the museums that collect and celebrate things that tend to get overlooked. There are too many to list that I love that are still thriving, so I'm going to say goodbye to four recently departed faves. RIP to the Pez museum, I'm so glad I saw you and purchased your stale candy souvenirs. RIP to the museum of terrible food, you were a pop up when Phoenix and I saw you, and I will forever think about the worker describing people literally vomiting during their visits. RIP to the currywurst museum in Berlin, I've had currywurst exactly once and it was not for me, but I respect the Journey you took me on, including obscure east German TV shows that helped make you so popular (??). Finally, RIP to the velvet painting museum, there's no way to mince words, the person who owned you was crazy AS FUCK and had zero clue how to run a business, but I'm so glad I saw you multiple times and purchased my own velvet treasure (not this exact one, but remarkably similar):

7. Liminal Spaces: Grocery Store Edition

Confession time for those who don't know me all that well, I'm a big time voyeur, and nothing fills my heart with joy like a walk at 7 or 8 pm, the witching hour when people haven't pulled the curtains, and I can scope out their decorations/furnishings without it being "weird." Another confession is how much I unabashedly adore grocery stores in other countries and will spend at least an hour wandering aisle by aisle, falling in love with how much everything is different yet completely the same:

8. Agatha Christie Novels:

As a child, I was a fairly compliant reader--I had to read something for school? Okay! For my mom? Sounds good! But the books that sparked the initial fire for me to read something purely for myself were second-hand (probably fourth- or fifth-hand, judging by cover art) Agatha Christie short story anthologies, which were the gateway drug to full Agatha Christie novels, then other mystery novels, and so on. But getting back to Agatha, I obviously loved all the stories, but every decade spawned incredibly good cover art (like, exceptionally good), and this particular artist's are right up near the top for me (I go back and forth on a lot of the '50s and '60s ones):

9. Scopitones

I link my obsession with scopitones both to my love of music videos in general and a shop in Austin, TX, that sold DVD compilations of them in particular, but either way, they're underappreciated and kitschy all in one! Francoise Hardy and the rest of the ye-ye's are my forever girls for this medium, but seemingly every country cranked them out, both actual set videos and "live" performances? If you don't know what they are, scopitones were machines that played music videos in French cafes in the '60s (??), so it was sort of your proto-MTV way to see your faves sing and dance. Oh, Francoise...so moderne!!

10. Cover Songs

I have so much patience and love for cover songs of any stripe, the more genre-bending and/or surprising, the better! My only minor beef is the trend in slooooooooowing down songs to make a point, but even those ones have a special place in my heart if they're effective. Live Lounge feeds my hunger the best, but my meta fave for representing this concept is Pulp's Bad Cover Version, which was already lyrically INSPIRED, a song about bad cover versions in terms of relationships, but then they did a video that was a visual "bad" cover version, with actors lip synching over an audio "bad" cover version, and all of it just worked? The cover for the single is someone in the band as a boy, making his own bad cover version of a Bowie album cover, it's meta meta meta, and I love love love, here's the video, if you're curious. In the more sublime cover category, I'm absolutely addicted to all of Orville Peck's covers, I truly hope he officially releases them sometime soon, but I wholeheartedly support any artist who does it:

[sawdustandgin]

A Year of Happiness, Joy and Sarcasm: My 2020 in Review

Absolutely nothing needs to be said about the year of our lord 2020 that hasn’t already been shouted from every social media platform like a shrieking alarm alerting us that the ship is sinking. We know. We’re all wet. 

I will not remember 2020 as mask-clad because I didn’t take any photos while wearing one. 

Every December, I reflect on the year through a short essay, allowing myself many opportunities to gush about the music that I didn’t include on my best-of lists but that I still loved dearly. (Though I guess I skipped last year. I found an abandoned draft the other day…) And consistently, I have regarded each year as one of transition. 

I don’t have clear career aspirations outside of wanting to engage with music as deeply and personally as I can; my only concrete life plan is to profile small towns across the country through the lens of its local music scene. So, with this nebulous image of a future endeavor, I have had a tumultuous time with money since losing my job two years ago. I realized fairly quickly, after only a few months of foundering at it, that I was unable to freelance my way to a liveable income. And in all honesty, this was for the best—nothing hurts worse than realizing the activity you are most passionate about has become a chore. I stopped worrying about pitching editors and trying to rub elbows, and I got to work applying for jobs. I, incredibly luckily, secured one after a few more months. The adjustment to being unemployed was a leap for me and my deep desire for a routine, but the adjustment to being employed and trying to maintain a balance between day job and side gig was even harder. 

Then I loosened up a bit. Toward the end of last year, I tried to make a vow to be more consistent with the blog, but instead, I prioritized sleep. At the time, I didn’t realize that it was an either/or scenario and probably would have made a greater effort to avoid my television if I had. But ultimately, I had to accept that my relationship with music journalism was on my terms. And regardless of how [in]frequently I ‘discovered’ new artists (for myself), I wasn’t ‘missing out’ on anything. 

And let’s be real, I wasn’t overly eager to listen to new stuff starting around April. I put so much energy into not losing myself in quarantine that I tuckered myself out before shit really hit the ceiling. When I began thinking toward my year-end lists in November, I began to worry that this would be my most deflated best-of season in recent memory. 

That’s ok, Zoë, no one really cares about top ten lists, I can hear you thinking, colored by a fascination with my determination. But as a double cancer and pisces moon, I like to cling to the art that moves my soul (read: ~nostalgia~). And so I take great joy in spending all of December and most of January repeatedly listening to my favorite music until I conjure a partially arbitrary ranking system and create playlists galore. It really is the best time of the year. 

Of course, there are always a few titles that need no additional spins, whether due to automatic disqualification or simply because I listened so much that I know it intimately. The automatic disqualifications this year were particularly striking. 

A few easy omissions were Chromatica, Positions, and Fetch the Bolt Cutters. Lady Gaga delivered her skip-less album around the time when it became clear that the pandemic was not even somewhat close to containment; my roommate and I cooked to Chromatica every night, singing along to every word. With each new record, Ariana Grande becomes a more graceful songwriter, and it also helps that Positions is a plain ol', boot-knockin’ good time. And the raw power Fiona Apple wields in Fetch the Bolt Cutters would be frightening were she not the perfect vessel to deliver it to us. 

Then there is the category of albums that simply didn’t need my (albeit dim) spotlight: Set My Heart on Fire Immediately, græ, and KicK i are each masterpieces in their own right. They each move purposefully through diverse landscapes, each song a new adventure not bound by genre or expectation. Interestingly, Perfume Genius and Moses Sumney were never mainstays in my music rotation, while my love for Arca is unquestioned. 

That leads us to Re-Animator, I’m Your Empress Of and The Mosaic of Transformation, all of which I actively feel bad for disqualifying. I’m too much of a fan of Everything Everything to impartially write about their new album, though it was one of my most frequently played. I have been writing best-of lists for six years now and I would prefer to write about a constantly expanding, diverse group of artists. That means I can’t keep doting on Empress Of, despite her status as one of our best contemporary artists. Me and Us were truly just prelude to her 2020 record, whose title is a formal introduction. Kaitlyn Aurelia Smith is also the most talented analog synth musician that I personally have ever engaged with, and her latest album is everything I could have wanted.  

It took some self-control (aka strict time management) to not write a few thousand words about The Ascension. Let’s recall my massive thesis on Carrie & Lowell… Yes, I am a former Catholic who thrives in the ambiguous invocation of Scripture, especially from a songwriter who quite literally shaped my taste in music. Luckily, I’m not nearly as pent up with anger and existential dread as in 2015 when I was, for the first time, processing the physical and emotional distance from my family. This elongated emotional breakdown was spurred by drama between my parents, but was also due to an irrational fear I held about my own mother’s death. Listening to Sufjan Stevens forgive his mother on her figurative deathbed has stayed with me. 

The anxiety I felt about 2020 was almost entirely external, so the gorge formed from the current of The Ascension was not nearly as deep a canyon in my heart as C&L, though it is still an affecting 80-minute journey. Stevens’ production, when coupled with his lyricism, is a breakthrough, though I do hear murmurs of folktronica from earlier in the decade. (I’m begging everyone to listen to Under Our Beds by Consilience.) And for perhaps the first time, there were songs that I occasionally skip. If I still had to commute to work, I bet they would have grown on me. In fact, this would have been a perfect driving album—one that wouldn’t cause me to weep while on the interstate. (oh Carrie. oh Lowell.)

Then there was VOL.II by my dear friend Lauren Ruth Ward. She gave me an opportunity to write a unique interview with her about the record to be printed on the inside of the gatefold, making it a permanent fixture on this most exciting of sophomore albums. I could not justify writing anything more about it, if only to preserve the sanctity of that interview, which I gave more effort and attention than any other piece of writing I had done. It was a wonderful and inspiring experience that I hope to replicate. The most heartbreaking part of the pandemic’s onset, from a social perspective, was not being able to visit Lauren after the record was released. 

With all that said, 2020 was about so much more than the music I listened to. All the digital replacements for physical intimacy during lockdown made me realize that my legacy (aka all my music writing) is fragile, locked into the impermanence of the internet. So I took it upon myself to build a physical archive; in the fall, I finalized a zine template, and the first eight issues are in the can. (So far, I have 19 zines planned. Email me if you are interested in having one!) 

I’ve also been living without a front tooth since mid-March. On one hand, it’s been convenient to wear a mask to hide the hole in my mouth, but on the other hand, all I want to do is bite into an apple. (For almost two years before I even knew I had to have my tooth removed, I had been forced to slice apples before being able to eat them. The abject humiliation.) The journey with my dentists and oral surgeon has been excruciating, to say the least. Who knew three people in the same medical practice could have such mightily different styles of care? [Author’s note: I got my crown after writing this essay! :grinning-emoji:]

In sum, it was my image of myself that I was able to see a bit clearer this year. Each year I think that I’ve figured something else out about myself, which had always led me to believe that I am a most-complex, divine being. But I think a more accurate interpretation is that, put simply, I am not static. My thoughts and emotions adapt to life and life doesn’t seem to stop throwing me around like sneakers in a tumbling dryer. My pronouns are now they/them and while I don’t have many specifics as to why, I just know that this feels right. 

I hope your year was at least acceptable; 2021 promises a host of new challenges, but I think we can take ‘em. 

[lovemesomesurveys]

[zombiebandido]

Can you recommend any Neil Gaiman to me, aside from Stardust or Good Omens? I’m not familiar with his work.

What's the best concert you've been to, if you've been? Jonas Brothers and Green Day.

What's the funniest screenname you've ever seen? I’ve been on the internet since I was like 9 years old, I’ve come across many.

Is there an animal you like that most people don't? I don’t think so. Most people don’t seem to dislike giraffes, which are my favorite animal. <<< Same. And doggos.

Is there an animal that you think is overrated in terms of how it's liked? No.

Is there a time period you think is underrated? I’d love to bring the 90′s back, that’s all. <<< I’m in.

What about music? Hmm.

Do you find yourself listening to music that's a bit more esoteric? No.

What are your three favorite books and why? I’m gonna give you my three current favorite artists instead: AJ Rivers, Willow Rose, and Mary Stone. They’re murder mystery and psychological thriller authors with tons of books and I’ve really enjoyed the many I’ve read from each of them.

What about authors? ^^^ Do you have any likes you wouldn't tell someone until you got to know them? Hmm. I think things would just come up over time, not because I’m waiting to tell them.

Do you have a favorite language? Spanish.

What about a place you've always wanted to visit? I’d love to be able to travel all over.

What's something someone does or says that just makes you laugh? Tell me a lame dad joke. I’m a sucker for those. <<< lol I am, too. I came across a compilation post recently on here that was pretty great.

Do goldfish crackers ever make you sick, or is that just me? I’ve never had that issue.

Do you have a favorite art style? No.

Do you have a favorite myth/fairy-tale? There’s several I find interesting and enjoy.

Who is your favorite person aside from family? Alexander Skarsgard. ;)

Do any of your pets (if you have them) have weird quirks? My doggo is very quirky. She’s such a goofball.

Do you listen to music from anywhere besides America? Some.

Have you ever "quit" a site and came back to it more than once? I don’t think so.

Do you have an "odd" fascination with anything? Hm. I don’t think I have any “odd” fascinations. 

What is the thing you want most at this moment? I’d really like to just feel decent today so I can enjoy a nice Easter with my family.

What was the last book you read and what was it about? I’m currently reading, “Cold Highway” by Mary Stone, which is the 4th book in a series.

What was the worst book you've ever read & why? I can’t believe I ever read the Fifty Shades of Gray books. *facepalm*

Do you have a favorite breed of dog or cat? Which? Labs and German Shepherds are awesome.

If you like any anime/manga, what are some titles you recommend? --

What do you think about school in general? I think it’s important to get an education. <<<

What's the hardest thing you've been through, & what did you learn from it? The accident that made me a paraplegic and everything that resulted from it ever since.

What are three "unrealistic" things you want most? Good health is the most unrealistic. 

What are some of your favorite foods? Ramen, garlic parm and lemon pepper boneless wings from Wingstop, and scrambled eggs and biscuits smothered in country gravy.

Where do you like to buy your clothes? Boxlunch and Hot Topic. 

Do you take any daily vitamins? No, but I definitely should be.

Who are three of your favorite fictional characters of all time? There’s so many to choose from, though.

If you had to give the world a pre-existing mythological/fictional being, what would it be? Superheroes, maybe? 

When buying Slurpees, if you do, do you get only one flavor or mix them? I always liked mixing Coke and cherry together.

Do you have a favorite 7Eleven food? I liked getting snacks and drinks from there, but I never ate their pizza or hot dogs or anything of that sort.

Do you have any desire to learn (a) foreign language(s)? Which? I’d just like to be fluent in Spanish.

If you could have any career, "realistic"-ness aside, what would it be? I still don’t know.

What are three memorable movies from your childhood? Mary Kate and Ashley movies, Disney movies, and The Rugrats Movie. Ha, I know I cheated by grouping some together, but whatever.

Do you, personally, put a space after ellipses, or not? No.

What do some of the things that inspire you have in common? I haven’t felt inspired in a long time.

Micky D's sweet tea, y/n/other? I used to like it when I was younger. I couldn’t even tell you the last time I had it, though. 

What are three of your best (non-physical) qualities? Blah.

What are three of your worst (again; non-physical) qualities? Blahhhh.

What is one of your firmest beliefs? My belief in God.

Do you ever question things until you're unsure of even the silliest thing? Sometimes.

Do you have anything that keeps you from doing something you'd truly enjoy? My health.

What are your three biggest pet peeves (personality-wise) in others? Arrogance, close-mindedness, and people who just jump on the bandwagon with certain things without doing their own research and forming their own opinions, not even really knowing what the issue is, they’re just following the crowd. 

Do you work to fix your faults? Or at least, admit to them? I’m quick to own up and admit to all my faults, but do I do I shit about them? ...

What are three of your best physical qualities? (NOT EYES!) Blehhh.

What are some of your greatest aspirations? I don’t have any. :/

How do you hope the world will change, if at all? I wish we could see less division and violence.

Who are three (fairly known) people you find very intriguing? Hmm.

What are three things that make you the happiest? God, my family, and trips to the beach.

What is/are your view(s) on god, religion, spirituality, or relations to? I’m a Christian.

Are you arachnophobic or scared of spiders in the least? YES.

Do you play WoW? What do you think of it either way? Nope.

What kind of computer do you have? Windows 7/Vista/XP/Other? I have a MacBook Air, which currently runs on macOS Sierra.

What are you good at? Nothing.

What career do you hope to have? I really don’t know. :/

Are you taking any interesting classes in school/do you not attend? I’m finished with school.

If you don't attend, are you taking any "lessons" for anything? Nope.

A book/piece that has had an exceptional impact on your life? The Bible.

If you know of pandora.com, what is your favorite station? Actually, I was listening to Pandora recently for the first time in years and came across this 90s, 2000s, and Today’s Hits station that I was really enjoying.

Have you ever "lost" a friend in any way? How did you deal? Yeah, I’ve lost a lot of friends. Some were harder to deal with than others.

Any music recommendations? Check out that Pandora station.

What are at least three of your biggest fears? Losing my loved ones, death, and never getting better/getting worse.

Most recently read book that you liked? I’m currently reading, “Cold Highway” by Mary Stone, which is the 4th book in a series. 

Do you have a piece of jewelry you don't like to take off? No. I haven’t worn jewelry in a long time.

Do you have a favorite quote? Why is it your favorite? I have many. Any odd pastimes you have? I don’t consider any of my pastimes odd.

Are you quirky in any way? (Name them please). My eating habits, for sure. I’m just really picky and particular.

Have any practices you aren't opposed to but wouldn't do yourself? Uhh.

Political standing?

Do you have any piercings/what do you think about piercings? I just have my earlobes pierced.

Do you have a favorite material? My soft, fuzzy throw blanket.

What are three names you'd name a pet if you HAD to get a pet right now? I don’t know. I’d have to see them and see what vibe I get.

Do you like to listen to dorky/amusing music? What would be considered dorky and amusing music?

Coffee vs. Tea vs. Energy Drinks: Order from favorite to least favorite. Coffee, energy drinks (only the Starbucks Doubleshot coffee energy drink), and tea.

Do you like more "fruity" sweets or "savory" sweets? Uhh, I like cupcakes, donuts, brownies, cookies, muffins, and cheesecake type of sweet.

What do you hate the most? My health, myself, and where I’m at in my life.

What genres of music are your favorite? I like variety.

Do you believe in true love? Yeah.

Do you believe in love at first sight? If yes, why? No.

What are some of your favorite clothing accessories? I just wear leggings and graphic tees.

If reincarnation exists, what sort of person would you want to be next? What are some things you believe strongly in? My faith.

Where's your favorite place you've been? Beaches and Disneyland.

What sort of books and movies do you like? Horror, psychological thriller, mystery, and YA for books, horror, psychological thrillers, drama, superhero films, some sci-fi and fantasy stuff like Star Wars, action, adventure, and romcoms for movies.

What's your favorite thing to do on a rainy Saturday? I don’t do anything different, but I do love when it rains.

Is there a book you've read that really touched you? Yeah.

Do you have a favorite artist? As in a painter? No.

PC or MAC? Mac.

What do you love doing? Spending time with my family, reading, scrolling through Tumblr, catching up on social media and trending topics, surveys, listening to ASMR, watching YouTube, watching my favorite shows, drinking coffee, sleeping...

If you could create the perfect world for yourself, what would it be? All my loved ones would be there, good health, money wouldn’t be a concern, happiness, I’d have a house on the beach, I’d be comfortable and relaxed and at peace... stuff like that.

Do you think that fate plays a part in people's lives? No.

Are you religious, spiritual, atheist...? I am a Christian. 

What are your opinions on the media? There’s the good and bad. It can be pretty brutal and problematic, for sure.

Do you think that people throw the words "love" and "hate" around too much? Yes.

What is your favorite piece of technology that you own? My laptop and phone.

What's a piece of technology you'd like to own? I have what I want at the moment. 

Are you afraid of technology developing to where we're too reliant on it? Oh, we’re waaaay past that point.

Does it bother you when people do things to fit in with a certain crowd? When they’re doing problematic things. 

Hot or cold? I’d much rather be cold. I like being wrapped up in a blanket, wearing hoodies/sweatshirts, and drinking hot coffee. Being hot is just miserable.  Do you think that Bzoink should extent the character amount for questions? I don’t use Bzoink.

Do you have a favorite combination of complimentary colors? A lot of colors look nice together.

Do you know why all the young people who have nice cars always look grumpy? I don’t think I’ve noticed that.

What's your favorite odd ice cream flavor? I don’t like any odd flavors. What’s with you and odd stuff?

Where do you like to get your ice cream? I’m not a big ice cream person, but the store is fine, ha. It was nice going somewhere like Cold Stone or something as well, though. I haven’t had ice cream in years, though.

What's your opinion on stereotypes/labels? Labels can be useful in some cases.

Do you ever use random word generators for Bzoinkoids?

Do you believe that history repeats itself? Absolutely. There’s proof of that.

Would you rather learn from your mistakes or just undo them? Ha, it’d be nice to be able to undo them.

What was the most interesting class you had in school? I always enjoyed English. And then of course I found a lot of my psych classes interesting. Do you write? If so, what? Nope.

Do you have a favorite website? Tumblr and YouTube.

Do you think that the quality of TV shows is going down? No, there’s so many good shows.

Do you have a favorite culture? Learning about different cultures is interesting. What was a story you heard as a child that really affected you? Hmm.

Who was your favorite grade-school teacher and why? Mr. McG, my 4th and then 8th grade teacher. He was everyone’s favorite. He made learning so much fun and really cared about his students.

Do you think that the world will end? How? Yes, how the Bible says it will.

Do you believe in Global Warming? Have you researched it? Yes.

Do you prefer piercings or tattoos? I only have my earlobes pierced and I have zero tattoos, soo I can’t say I’m big on either one.

Do you remember your dreams? Very, very rarely.

[honeyopinion]

20/20 Albums of the Year

Circles by Mac Miller  |  Hip-Hop, Soul, Funk Released: January 17, 2020

Best Album For... Pouring One Out for Mac

I wrote a few different drafts of this album summary, and none of them felt like they really fit the impossibly large bill of accurately describing the posthumous importance or brilliance of this album. If you are a fan of hip-hop or soul music of any kind, try to give this piece of work a chance. I for one, used to judge Mac based on his early frat rap days in the late 2000s. But a decade later he came to leave the world with one of the most surprising and frankly impressive artistic evolutions that I’ve been able to witness in real time. RIP Mac. 

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora 

Start With: “Circles” or “Everybody”

Marigold by Pinegrove  |  Alternative Country and Folk Rock Released: January 17, 2020

Best Album For… Passing Through a Small Town on a Cloudy Winter Day 

Pinegrove was one of the last great concerts I got to experience before the pandemic. And it was my favorite performance of theirs from the last 6 years of seeing them play live. Is this my favorite album of theirs? Honestly, it’s not. But I still find it extremely enjoyable, and the memory of seeing these songs performed live, along with some of their classics, was enough for me to include it on this list. This is an album that marks Pinegrove’s exit from their pop punk roots. It’s still sentimental, but much more country and folk rock focused vs. anything trying to be associated with emo or punk. 

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora   Start With: “The Alarmist” or “No Drugs”

Watch This Liquid Pour Itself by Okay Kaya  |  Synth Pop, Art Rock, Folk Released: January 24, 2020

Best Album For… Crywanking at 3am, Bathed in The Dull Light of Your Overheating Laptop

What if Feist and Father John Misty had a secret love child? They might sound something like Okay Kaya. Self proclaimed “Singer ~ Crywanker,” Okay Kaya brings serious BDE to weirdo art pop that she seems like she could be a plant  from the mind of Nathan Fielder. Kaya delivers with such deadpan precision as she rolls out line after line of sarcastic joy, staring blankly at our dystopian reality. “Here I am, the whole world is my daddy,” “Netflix and yeast infection,” “Sex with me is mediocre,” “I just want us to do well like Jon Bon Jovi’s Rosê,” and, “My parasite and I are blushing / In the zero interaction ramen bar,” are just a few examples of some of her memorable and biting lyrics. The entire album is both a critique and nihilistic fondness for the absurdity of our lonely technological society, not quite sure how to deal with taboos like repressed female sexuality, depression, and codependency. 

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Baby Little Tween” or “Asexual Wellbeing”

UNLOCKED by Denzel Curry and Kenny Beats  |  Hip-Hop Released: February 7, 2020

Best Album For... Nodding Your Damn Head To, Feeling Cooler Than You Actually Are

I had to double check that this was an album. Clocking in under 20 minutes, this collection of songs feels more like an EP, especially with the track titles that purposefully look like file names and placeholders. But for a short album, Denzel wastes no time, furiously zigging and zagging effortlessly over Kenny Beats’ 90s New York-indebted production (ad libs and all). Kenny pulls out samples of an array of pop culture references made by Denzel (like quotes from movies and weapon sound effects like a lightsaber) — as he rotates his flow between admirable impressions of DMX, Nas, and Joey Bada$$.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “So.Incredible.pkg” or “DIET_”

Cardboard City by Zack Villere  |  Pop, Electronic, R&B Released: February 14, 2020

Best Album For… Pal-ing Around With Your Friends From High School, Maybe Quoting Superbad At The Same Time

The first time I watched a music video from Zack Villere, I noticed the top comment said: “how did frank ocean get trapped in mark zuckerberg.” And while that definitely gets at the heart of how Zack Villere presents himself, he is not a phenomenal singer like Frank Ocean is, nor does he come off as an asshole like Mark Zuckerberg does. I would say that he is just a slightly awkward nerdy white guy who loves hip-hop production and R&B melodies. So the better question is really, “how did drake get trapped in michael cera?” This premise should not work at all, but somehow it does. This is only Villere’s second album, but he shows some serious production and songwriting chops, plus a commitment to his delivery that comes across as genuine, charming, and unique. 

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Grateful” or “Superhero Strength”

The Slow Rush by Tame Impala  |  Psych Rock, Synth Pop, Disco Released: February 14, 2020

Best Album For... Throwing a Silent Disco For One 

Tame Impala continues on their now 10 year streak of psych rock dominance. Along the way we’ve seen Kevin Parker master and stretch the boundaries of psychedelic production. This has resulted in his music coming as close to sounding like the best aspects of The Beatles, while also expanding into hip hop drums, R&B hooks, plus more and more electronic elements. This is an album that I was not super impressed with when it initially came out, but as we entered the pandemic and were tasked with finding small joys in staying at home all the time, I found myself going back to this album and appreciating the themes of solitude and self reflection that Parker has drawn from throughout his career.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Posthumous Forgiveness” or “One More Hour”

1988 by Knxwledge  |  Hip-Hop Released: March 27, 2020

Best Album For... Pumping Your Brakes and Driving Slow, Uh *Homie* Although this album is named after a year in the 80s, the sound here is a perfect portal back to 90s golden era hip-hop, with all the gospel, soul samples, and the kind of deep bass you want to feel in your chest. This is the rare, largely instrumental hip-hop album that I find myself going back to, other than works from the legendary J Dilla and MF Doom. Knxwledge is good friends and a frequent collaborator with Anderson .Paak (in the form of NxWorries). Here we get Anderson to grace us with his presence on the track “itkanbe[sonice]”, and of course it sounds just like an authentic vintage soul sample. When I hear this collection of songs it makes me wish I still had a car, so I could inevitably damage my speakers listening to this.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “dont be afraid” or “thats allwekando.”

Future Nostalgia by Dua Lipa  |  Pop, R&B, Funk, Disco Released: March 27, 2020 Best Album For... Alarming Your Pet With Your Enthusiastic Lip Syncing

This album is a pure sugar rush. Like Bruno Mars with the help of Mark Ronson, or Calvin Harris a few years ago, Dua has harnessed a nostalgia (it’s even in the title, wink) for disco, funk and R&B, and is instantly a sexy, catchy, not-so-guilty pleasure. It’s sad that the majority of these songs are all bonafide club hits that didn’t have a proper home this year … except for my living room. And hopefully yours.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora 

Start With: “Pretty Please” or “Future Nostalgia”

Hold Space For Me by Orion Sun  |  Alternative R&B and Hip-Hop Released: March 27, 2020

Best Album For... Wishing Frank Ocean Was Your Dad

“Alternative R&B” is a contentious term, but what else would you call one of a few R&B singers cool enough to make it onto (NYC indie darlings) Mom+Pop Records?? On one hand, she brings the vulnerable and introverted lyrics of an indie singer songwriter like Tracey Chapman, crossed with the raw presence and sweet melodic delivery of a true R&B star like Aaliyah. I’d even go far enough to refer to her as the musical stepchild of Frank Ocean and SZA.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora

Start With: “Ne Me Quitte Pass (Don’t Leave Me)” or “Lightning”

You and Your Friends by Peach Pit  |  Indie Rock and Dream Pop Released: April 3, 2020

Best Album For... Going Back To Your College Town To Crash A Party

Peach Pit seem like they would be cool dudes to hang out with. You have no problem picturing them as the band playing a house show in an indie movie about college kids. And that’s because there’s a familiarity to the scenes that their songs portray, of stumbling through your 20s, either being too dumb or having too much fun to notice. It’s funny to refer to this as “Indie” rock since this is Peach Pit’s major label debut with Columbia Records. But It has all the trappings of Indie; sticky melodies, gentle reverb, an “I’m not trying that hard” vibe, and lyrics that are oddly specific enough to be interesting, but still vague enough to be relatable.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Feelin’ Low (Fuckboy Blues)” or “Shampoo Bottles”

Heaven To a Tortured Mind by Yves Tumor  |  Psych Rock, Indie Pop, Post-Punk, Alternative R&B, Experimental Electronic Released: April 3, 2020

Best Album For... Tearing Up The Fucking Dance Floor With Your Hot Robot Girlfriend

If Tyler the Creator, Alex G, King Krule, and Blood Orange all got into the studio together and dropped a shit ton of acid on Halloween, their recording session might sound something like Heaven To a Tortured Mind… And even then, you still might have trouble putting your finger on exactly what you’re hearing. “Dream Palette” is a good reference track for Tumor’s most wild and mesmerizing qualities. The biggest styles of the past half century of music have been loaded into this gleefully effective genre blender, with blades of dissonance slicing everything up, creating a surrealist sonic smoothie.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Super Stars” or “Dream Palette”

The New Abnormal by The Strokes  |  Indie Rock, Dirtbag Disco, Synth Pop Released: April 10, 2020

Best Album For... Mixing Yourself Another Drink This Saturday Night

Back from the dead, The Strokes return with their first album in 7 years to turn some heads and settle back into some old habits. The charming messy haired garage rock of the early 2000s still pops up here and there, but this is really a record where the group is mature enough to show you that they actually are trying, and are unafraid to take joyous swings for the fences. Julian Casablancas pushes his scratchy alley cat yelp of a voice into something more vulnerable, sunny, and sweet, like he asked for a piña colada (you know, with one of those little umbrellas) instead of a double shot of scotch before hopping up on stage… Or maybe he did both. But these days, everyone is looking for some sort of break from our groundhog day lives any way that we can. Sometimes that sounds like selling out, or depending on how you look at it, stepping up. This album is the result of a group of old friends who got together to make music they simply want to make for themselves. Now far removed from the 2000s New York scene where their younger selves were acting too cool and disaffected to care about having fun.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Eternal Summer” or “The Adults Are Talking”

The Loves of Your Life by Hamilton Leithauser  |  Indie Rock and Alternative Country Released: April 10, 2020

Best Album For... Drinking Down At The Docks, Watching The Sun Set

While I am a fan of The Walkmen, I have no idea what their frontman Hamilton Leithauser looks like or how he dresses. But hearing these songs off of his latest solo, I imagine the following: a member of Mumford and Sons if they were edgy and cooler, giving off a “cowboy rocker meets depression-era dock worker” aesthetic. That’s exactly how his music comes off to me. It’s a convincing blend of blues rock, Americana, and old timey country music. All expertly narrated by dusty country guitars and standup bass, tarnished horns and flutes, and what I imagine to be a restored saloon piano. The Loves of Your Life originally started as a collection of short stories, each about characters based on both people he knew and strangers. Leithauser then wrote the music separately, and finally came to mix and match their parts together in a surprisingly convincing fashion to create the album.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Wack Jack” or “Cross-Sound Ferry (Walk-On Ticket)”

What Kinda Music by Tom Misch and Yussef Dayes  |  Neo-Soul, Electronic, Hip-Hop

Released: April 24, 2020

Best Album For... Cooking For Someone You’re In Love With

Exactly what kind of music do Tom Misch and Yussef Dayes make? It’s orchestral, it’s jazz-infused, it’s hip-hop beats joined with gentle soul. It’s a little sexy, it’s a little mysterious, and you’re going to want to listen to it a whole lot. That’s it. That’s what kind of music it is! Send tweet. 

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “What Kinda Music” or “Storm Before The Calm”

Petals For Armor by Hayley Williams  |  Electronic Pop and Art Rock Released: May 8, 2020

Best Album For... Browsing Depop for Your Next 80s Normcore ‘Fit

Hayley, Hayley, Hayley. You are too good for this wretched world!! After exploring more adventurous sounds and genre hopping over the last few Paramore records, Hayley decided to go out on her own. This really frees herself from the expectations that come along with being the face and heart of a wildly popular band for the last 15+ years. Thom Yorke fans rejoice, because Hayley Williams has a clear admiration for Radiohead’s haunting indie electronic vibe, while emoting some pain and darkness atop her love for 80s pop and art rock (think Genesis, Devo, The Talking Heads). This is a promising new avenue for Hayley to explore herself and process her pain and desire completely on her own. I see this new project of hers only blooming further from here.

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Start With: “Simmer” or “Sudden Desire” 

Set My Heart On Fire Immediately by Perfume Genius  |  Indie Pop and Art Rock Released: May 15, 2020

Best Album For... Daydreaming That You Were Somewhere Else

For his 5th studio album, Perfume Genius enlists production wizard and guitar god Blake Mills, along with Grammy Award-winning arranger and multi-instrumentalist Rob Moose to create a beautiful swirling mosaic of 80s pastel pop that also packs serious classic rock grandeur. Bass guitar dances between satin smooth lines on one song to churning distorted currents on the next. Sparkling string arrangements and organs bleed together to expose a fading sunset that you’ll want to try and hold in your hands to keep it in sight. Perfume Genius is unafraid to challenge traditional masculinity, packing a 21st century queer machismo into both the quiet moments and jubilant explosions.

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Start With: “Without You” or “Describe”

græ by Moses Sumney  |  Indie Pop, Art Rock, Neo-Soul, Psychic Folk Released: May 15, 2020

Best Album For... Astral Projection 101 

I mean this in the best way possible, but I think that Moses Sumney is a witch. Or maybe a wizard? There’s no other reasonable explanation for the level of creativity and wonder that he summons. This album feels like a private concert by a waterfall (similar to one on the cover), with ethereal pleas, and heavy ideas—like meditating on what lies beyond the constraints of the physical self and reconsidering how well we can actually trust memory and the mind. Sumney layers his voice to create the effect of a ghostly choir, accented by a stark intimidating falsetto that reverberates through the ruins of an abandoned temple where Sumney is the only one in attendance.

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Start With: “Cut Me” or “Polly”

WILL THIS MAKE ME GOOD by Nick Hakim  |  Psychedelic Neo-Soul Released: May 15, 2020

Best Album For... Playing Pool in a Hazy Dive Bar

Nick Hakim is a silky smooth smokey crooner who paints with warbly piano loops, dreamy reverb-heavy guitar, boom bap beats—not to mention a falsetto that would make Smokey Robinson jealous. Clearly a fan of Motown and 60s jazz, Hakim could be considered a peer of Thunder Cat and Anderson .Paak’s to a degree. I remember seeing him perform at Music Hall of Williamsburg a few years ago. The performance ended with him falling down on stage (presumably from being under the influence of multiple substances). But while the song continued he popped back up and belted an impressive high note like it was nothing, drink in hand. And it’s that kind of messy beauty that also makes this album so engrossing. Like watching the eye of the storm get closer and closer, but unable to look away from the sheer magnetism that nature can wield.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  Start With: “All THESE CHANGES” or “ALL THESE INSTRUMENTS”

RTJ4 by Run The Jewels  |  Hip-Hop Released: June 3, 2020

Best Album For... Making Your Next Protest Sign

Run The Jewels’ fourth outing might be the most unapologetically angry rap album in the “fuck this” year of 2020. And it reminded me that I should absolutely still be furious about everything that happened during this groundbreaking yet terrifyingly familiar year: country wide protests over the continued murder of innocent black people at the hands of the police, government drone strikes and detaining kids in cages, the state of our environment worsening—and that’s not even addressing the pandemic or election. Killer Mike and El-P are here to scream from the rooftops that our current system of cutthroat capitalism and white supremacy is killing the planet and its inhabitants, and I’m glad that they’re using their platform to continue to sound the alarm.

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Start With: “out of sight” or “ooh la la”

Your Hero Is Not Dead by Westerman  |  New Wave Revival and Indie Pop Released: June 5, 2020 Best Album For... Wanting Your Old School MTV

The cover of Westerman’s first proper album is mostly black and white, except for the title, which is scrawled out in lettering which spans the Crayola color spectrum. It’s an album that on the surface is cold and buttoned up, but when these choruses open up, the maximalist 80s power pop bursts like the bulbs of a neon sign. There’s a level of even-keeled cool and confidence in small moments on display here that makes this relatively new artist seem well beyond his years. Having seen him play at Rough Trade a few years ago (opening up for the stellar Puma Blue), the songwriting growth on display on this record is impressive. I’m only sad that there wasn’t an opportunity to have seen him play these new songs live.

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Start With: “Easy Money” or “Confirmation (SSBD)” 

Punisher by Phoebe Bridgers  |  Indie Rock and Alternative Country Released: June 18, 2020

Best Album For... Burning Incense and Breaking Out a Ouija Board to Talk to The Ghost of Your Former Self

This is without a doubt, a career defining release for Phoebe. Taking everything she’s learned from writing, performing, and touring with the likes of Lucy Dacus and Julien Baker (in boygenius), and Conor Oberst (in Better Oblivion Community Center), Bridgers levels up to become the truly prolific singer-songwriter she’s been telling us she would always be. Bridgers has explained her personal definition of “a punisher” as a well meaning person who’s, “just talking to you and they don’t realize that your eyes are glazed over and you’re trying to escape.” Vital to understanding this album and its central message is that Phoebe finds herself caught between the contradiction of falling victim to this phenomenon while also doing it herself, especially if she ever met her musical idol, Elliott Smith. Punisher serves as a warning to her audience that if you focus too much on trying to find yourself through other people (via escaping through fandom, drugs, toxic relationships), you’ll always feel lost and dissatisfied, without the proper self awareness to ever quite know why. 

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Start With: “Garden Song” or “ICU”

Women In Music Pt. III by HAIM  |  Rock, Pop, Folk, R&B Released: June 26, 2020

Best Album For... Preparing For A Better 2021, lol 

With this album, HAIM skyrocketed to the #1 position of family bands that start with an “H.” Sorry, Hanson! But seriously, HAIM has outdone themselves on this one. If there was one album from this list that I would dub my personal AOTY, this would be it. You might wince at any tracklist longer than 10-12 songs these days (I know I usually do), but almost every song proves itself worthy, pulling at a different thread of my heart until there’s nothing left. Sunshine State Beach Pop? Check. Blues Tinged Dad Rock? Yup! Dive Bar Country? Mmhmm! No, wait, what’s that you say, Glitched-Out R&B? Yes, yes, and yes. You can have it all, sister! ‘Cause when you’re Haim, you’re family! ;) And these three “women in music” continue to prove that they are just about the best Assorted Pop Rocks(™) act in the world right now.

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Start With: “I’ve Been Down” or “Don’t Wanna”

Lianne La Havas by Lianne La Havas  |  Neo-Soul and Indie Pop Released: July 17, 2020

Best Album For... Sipping Coffee and Journaling on a Weekend Morning

This album exudes a warm vulnerability, like a comforting hug we all needed this year. On her third album, Lianne La Havas makes the risky decision to self title it, a move that artists make when they believe that it is the piece of work that they most want most directly associated with their name. It’s one thing to name your first album after yourself if you can’t think of anything else at the time, but to make a self titled album in the middle of your career, it means that you are sure about having captured who you really are and who you want people to remember you as. “If I love myself, I know I can't be no one else,” La Havas admits on the standout track, “Paper Thin.” She knows that she will meet her destiny and reach self actualization, but only through self love. And finally, I cannot overstate how breathtaking La Havas’s voice comes across on this album. The strength and control on display in her vocal tone and vibrato is quite a spectacle. 

Spotify      Apple Music     YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Paper Thin” or “Sour Flower”

Limbo by Aminé  |  Hip-Hop and R&B Released: August 7, 2020

Best Album For... Trying and Get Over Kanye With

On Limbo, Aminé establishes himself as one of the torchbearers of soul-sampling, lyrics-driven hip-hop that still cares about storytelling, skits, and presenting vocals clearly. Kanye West, Drake, and J. Cole all paved the way for someone from the next generation like Aminé to keep the dream alive and avoid succumbing to the “feel good, don’t think” form of passive listening that mumble rap has made the standard for mainstream hip-hop.

Spotify      Apple Music     YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Pressure In My Palms” or “My Reality”

Shore by Fleet Foxes  |  Folk and Indie Rock Released: September 22, 2020

Best Album For... Running Along The Beach With Your Arms Stretched Out

It was really kind of Robin Pecknold and co. to have released an album this triumphant, calming, and awe-inspiring during the year of our Lorde 2020. On behalf of myself and anyone else who suffers from Seasonal Affective Disorder, the SAD people of the world really needed this, man. And to anyone who is quick to judge these beard-o’s of being boring, you’re simply not using your ears properly. Yeah, you know those two things on either side of your head? Get the gunk out of them! That way you’ll hear the choir of angels with acoustic guitars who are here to guide us through quarantine and beyond. 

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora 

Start With: “Can I Believe You” or “A Long Way Past The Past” 

Listen to all of these albums together in our playlist.

[chaosstar290]

Reasons try out Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE Encore.

Nintendo's been pretty casual with porting Wii U games over to the Switch, and for good reasons. Normally, I'm not all into porting games that I've already played, but my personal favorite games on the system that lack good marketing and advertising are now getting the attention and love they deserve.

Take Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze for example, one of my favorite 2D platfomers. The game originally sold 1.72 million copies worldwide on the Wii U. Not very good numbers, huh? However, the Switch port managed to beat those sales numbers with 2.25 million units sold worldwide by the end of March 2019.

So while this could be seen as a way for Big N to earn more $$$, this is also a way for those who never owned a Wii U and missed out on some of the system's best titles to give these games a shot. Now we just need a port of Xenoblade Chronicles X and The Wonderful 101...and Star Fox Zero, I guess.

But that's a topic for another time. This post is specifically for my favorite JRPG on the Wii U only to be tied with Xenoblade Chronicles X....Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE.

This'll be a long one, so here's hoping you'll stick with it until the end.

Development

Before I get into the reasons, lemme educate you guys a bit. Back in January 2013, both Atlus and Intelligent Systems made a teaser trailer for a potential Shin Megami Tensei x Fire Emblem crossover for the Wii U.

The trailer was mostly just a slideshow with various character artwork. Despite this, there was a decent amount of hype surrounding it. But development around the game was pretty silent. That is, until we fast forward to the Nintendo Direct in April 1, 2015. We got a trailer of the ambitious SMT x FE crossover that fans were waiting for...but this was the final product.

Needless to say...neither SMT nor FE fans were happy about this. The fandoms were incredibly salty and foaming at the mouths, basically calling it a Person 4 Lite with a hint of FE. Heck, they're probably still posts on this site from 5 years ago that'll show that.

Fast forward to the games initial release, and you'll see quite a few positive reviews and thoughts about TMS. Unfortunately, the sale numbers were not all that great for the game. Obvious reasons being that it was a Wii U game, and many fans of both SMT x FE were not happy with how it turned out.

And to be honest, I wasn't feeling the game myself at first. It seemed too lighthearted and upbeat, and the J-Pop, anime-ish aesthetics were very off-putting. However, the more I saw about the game, the more I was drawn into it. Somehow all that disappointment I had about TMS originally just washed away. And considering it was a new IP, I decided to give it a chance. And hoo boy...I was generally pleased.

With that outta the way, let's get into why I'm excited for the Switch port of game, and hoping people will give it a fairer chance.

The Setting

The plot of Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE is mostly simple. You start out as high schooler Itsuki Aoi, the main character of the game encountering his childhood friend Tsubasa Oribe at an audition event to become a idol. It isn't until moments later in the game that the area gets overruned by shadowy creatures known as Mirages that suck out the creative energy known as Perso-- ah I mean Performa from the other idols and audience.

Poor girl doesn't know what's gonna happen next.

Despite our main characters seeming unharmed by the effect, the Mirages drag Tsubasa into their world known as the Idolsphere. And of course, courageous Itsuki takes action to follow and rescue her.

After trying to make a daring rescue, Itsuki gets bombarded by a Mirage, but somehow manages to awaken it. Taking the form of Fire Emblem Awakening's protagonist Chrom. Itsuki does the same with the Mirage that captured Tsubasa that takes the form of Cedea from Fire Emblem Shadow Dragon. The two awakaned Mirages, however, suffer from a bit of amnesia and can't quite remember who and what they are.

From there on, Itsuki and Tsubasa form a partnership with Chrom and Cedea, encountering various characters trying to reach their way to stardom while trying to draw back the opposing forces from taking over Tokyo and the world. Typical RPG stuff, am I right?

It's a fairly standard and slightly cliche plot with some common anime tropes, but for this game...it works. It's a plot that's incredibly silly, upbeat, and over-the-top, but again...it works for this game. And I love it. It may not be original, deep, or complex, but the story does its best to not take itself too seriously, and it doesn't fail to keep a smile in my face.

Aside from the vanilla cookie-cutter MC Itsuki, the various casts that you meet are incredibly charming, and go through their own personal growth as celebrities. Though you mileage may vary on this.

The Gameplay

The combat is the real star of Tokyo Mirage Sessions. Basically, it's your standard turn-based combat system...but with a few twists. If you've ever played a SMT or Persona game, then don't be surprised that elemental weaknesses make an appearance here. Along with that, the Triangle Weapon system from Fire Emblem also makes an appearance in the game.

But if you're not familiar with either franchise then give you a basic example how this works. Say that you've encountered an armored Mirage wielding an axe. The weaknesses on that enemy are both lightning and swords, and Itsuki just so happens to have both the necessary element and weapon equipped.

In case you're wondering...how the Triangle Weapon mechanic works in FE is that Swords beat Axes, Axes beat Lances, and Lances beat Swords.

The interesting thing about this is that once you exploit an enemy's weakness, other characters will jump in and combo extra attacks. These are called Sessions, and their not only powerful...but also flashy as all hell and it's glorious. Not only that, but there's also Duo Arts where two certain characters will sometimes perform a song that unleashes a powerful attack...which also strings up more Sessions. As broken as this sounds, it actually is pretty strategic for taking down harder enemies, and they can also form Sessions...so be careful.

There's more to the gameplay like roaming Tokyo, exploring dungeons, and upgrading your characters and Mirages by Tiki from Fire Emblem Shadow Dragon as well.

There's mixed opinions on the dungeon aspects of Tokyo Mirage Sessions, but...I personally enjoyed them. Aside from the first one. Once you get past the first dungeon, they get better as the game progresses. From exploring a darker version of Shibuya where you have to avoid giant cameras from sending you back to the entrance of the of the room you currently entered, to venturing through a maze-like TV studio.

There's also side-missions that you can do with your main cast that'll help them grow and develop even further. You'll be rewarded with either a special cutscene or a special attack. Or maybe both.

The Visuals

Go go...Persona Rangers?

If it wasn't obvious from the amount of images I'm posting, Tokyo Mirage Sessions is a very colorful game. Fitting with it's lighthearted theme, the amount of colors the game throws at you makes visuals aesthetically pleasing. Heck, you could make these your personal wallpaper on your phone or something.

Sure, Tokyo Mirage Sessions isn't nearly as strong as Persona 5 graphically or even artistically, but like most Nintendo games...what their games lack in terms of detailed ultra-hyper graphics, they make up for it with giving their games gorgeous artstyles.

Also, this game has some reeeeeally good artwork.

The Music

J-Pop plays a pretty big role in Tokyo Mirage Sessions, so expect a lot of vocal tracks. If you're not into this kind of genre of music, then you might wanna stray away from this game. If you are (or if it doesn't bother you), then you're in for a treat. As someone who really isn't into J-Pop myself, the songs in this game are incredible and catchy followed by some beautiful cutscenes. Reincarnation from Kiria Kurono and Feel from Tsubasa Oribe are some of my personal favorites.

The music from outside the vocal tracks are pretty good too. The normal battle theme and the Illusion Shibuya dungeon theme are just to name a couple.

What's New?

Like I said before, Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE Encore is a port of the Wii U version, but with added content. Any DLC that was added in the original game will part of the base game in the Switch version. But let's talk about the new stuff.

EX Story and Songs

The EX Story is basically a dungeon that you explore in short bursts. Here you'll find new costumes such as a Joker outfit from Persona 5 for Itsuki, or an Annette outfit from Fire Emblem Three Houses for Mamori Minamoto. Or you can have a much easier time grinding for EXP. Also, much like the side-stories, this dungeon will also explore the main casts' issues and help them grow.

New songs will also be added in this port. A duo song called "She is..." sung by Tsubasa and Kiria is one of them.

Sessions

By making Sessions even more powerful and ridiculous, unplayable characters like Tiki, Maiko Shimazaki, and Barry Goodman will also join in Sessions.

In addition, a Quick Session option will be added. Which is a major upgrade in my book. One of the big issues the Wii U version had was while the Sessions were fun to watch, they took forever to get through with the more characters that joined your party. There are also smaller improvements like the Switch version having faster loading times.

Conclusion

Hopefully, this long as hell post will spark some interest into those who'll give the game a shot. I know there's small nitpicks like the lack of English voice acting and censorship, but the latter is a topic I'd rather not delve deep into.

Regardless, these small cons are greatly outweighed by the large pros this charming game has. If you're an Atlus fan, a lover of JRPGs, or wanting to play something that'll ease the wait for Persona 5 Royal, I highly recommend you give Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE encore a shot.

If you're also waiting for Persona 5 to actually come to the Switch like me, this game is next best thing we've got for the time being.

This is one of the most stylish menu screens ever.

[distant-rose]

Hey so, care to share any of the mood boards and /or playlists that I'm 99% sure you have your your next gen marvel universe?

Okay, I know you sent this like yesterday morning, but you’re asking for me to share a piece of a universe that @justanotherwannabeclassic​ and I have been developing since…July? Which is insane but I made my first post about our Earth-6828 universe on the 26th July 2019. We have an estimated ninety-three characters for this universe that categorized as a next generation or involved in the next generation narrative. Ninety-three characters. Nine. Three. It’s insane. WE’RE INSANE. We created an entire universe over the course of a half year.

Anyway, with that many characters, I don’t think it’s possible to share everything on the internet involving them. So, I’m gonna focus on the OG team - the Daughters of Liberty. They’re the catalyst for Earth-6828 universe and they’re eleven women from different backgrounds and skill sets. We deliberately made a all-female team that’s diverse and we really have fun playing with them. So I’ll share some mood boards and playlists that I made for them.

NOTE: Please note that when I make playlists, I’m a weirdo with very specific rules. I make playlists made of songs sung by the genre of music I think the character would listen to, in the gender they identify with and I only do one song per artist. So, a character like Bekka who likes old school country and jazz, she’s a big fan of Duke Ellington and Miles Davis and Wendy Nguyen who is folksy really likes the Lumineers and the Mountain Goats but neither of those artists are featured on those lists because both characters are female and I like to think of the songs as being from their perspective. It’s really weird but I feel the need to make the disclosure.

I’m gonna put this under the cut because this is gonna be LOOOOONG. Also, if you’re interested in other characters and nuances of the universe, you’re also welcome to hit up not just me but also Shea because she’s done some amazing work too.

Valeria “Val” Richards

Val Richards is an Earth-616 canon character and the daughter of Reed Richards (Mr. Fantastic) and Susan Storm (Invisible Woman). She’s the smartest woman in the world and holds more degrees than she knows what to do with. She’s constantly working on a new degree and really hates the amount of condescension she gets sometimes from people who don’t believe how smart she is and underestimate her. It’s half the reason she’s involved with the team - she wanted to show that she and the women she works with shouldn’t be underestimated. She’s the team coordinator and is the most tech savvy. She’s known for drinking her weight in coffee, listening to Led Zeppelin on full blast and always having her hands in one project or another. She has a habit of never going to bed because she’s constantly involving herself in a project and because she’s constantly blasting music, her hearing isn’t always the best. She constantly has people repeat things since she often can’t hear them. Though she’s not involved with the family business, she’s got a great relationship with her parents and especially her brother, Franklin, who is without a doubt her hero. She’s a part of the LONGEST slowburn I’ve ever written and it took SIX YEARS for her and the team empath Wendy to get together. 

Val’s Playlist: Classic and Hard Rock, this is the type of music that Val generally listens to when she’s in the lab. It features Lita Ford, Pat Benator, Joan Jett and The Pretty Reckless. I think shows a lot of her attitude and some of her anger.

Eleanor “El” Rogers

El Rogers is an Earth-85826 canon character and the daughter of Steve Rogers (Captain America) and Sharon Carter (Agent 13). She is a professionally trained spy and is a specialist in various forms of combat. Though she offered the mantle of Captain America to Dani Cage, she is very proud of her father’s legacy and sometimes nags Dani on how she should handle things, which sometimes leads to some contention between the two. Prior to the starting the Daughters of Liberty with Val Richards, she was a SHIELD agent and often known as “Espionage Barbie.” Growing up in the spotlight, she’s a gifted and knowledgeable public relations specialist and has more than a few headaches trying to manage this team and the array of personalities she deals with. Despite her PR skills, she’s naturally more introverted and prefers to spend her time with her close friends and working on her art. Though she’s more like her mother, she did inherit Steve’s sense of justice and morals while also keeping questionable company seeing that she often finds herself in some morally grey company, namely a couple of rebellious Southern mutants and three SHIELD trained professional killers. Most people often see El as perfect but she is riddled with anxiety and constantly beats herself up for not living up to people’s expectations. Before her father’s death, she was seen as very upbeat and friendly, but has been much more subdued and even more argumentative. She’s incredibly stubborn, which often gets her into epic fights with Dani and Meredith, as well as the leaders of the Avengers (Sonny Stark) and X-Men (Olivier LeBeau).

El’s Playlist: El is very much a pop music kinda girl, but her playlist comes with a bit of a twist of her anxieties, depression and desires to live up to that expectations that have been put on her. It features Taylor Swift, Elle King, Demi Lovato and Ruelle.

Danielle “Dani” Cage

Dani Cage is an Earth-616 canon character and the daughter of Luke Cage (Power Man) and Jessica Jones (Jewel). She’s the current Captain America and it’s a job she’s very ambivalent about because as much as she is honored by being bestowed the title, it comes with a lot of pressure and criticism which Dani is not great with. Due to her super strength and invulnerability, she rarely uses the iconic Captain America shield which is one of the many things she gets criticized for by El. Like her parents, Dani is tough as nails, a little rough around the edges and swears like it was its her job. Despite her short fuse, Dani has the biggest heart of them all and tends to come from a place of compassion rather than a place of judgment. This doesn’t stop her from being one of the sassiest members of the Daughters of Liberty however. When she’s not shouldering her duties as Captain America, Dani is working out her frustrations in the gym through boxing and acting as a volunteer for the Harlem Boys and Girls’ Club. Dani is a creature of habit. She goes to the same gym that she’s gone to since she was a little girl despite having a gym in HQ, she eats the same thing for breakfast and orders the same thing whenever she goes out for dinner. Her teammates often make fun of her because of this habit, but with all the stress in her life, she clings to these habits as a source of comfort and normalcy. Dani is best friends and incredibly close to Lucy Rand, who is about 85% of her impulse control. Sometimes the only thing keeping Dani from punching out her teammates and the occasional reporter is Lucy.

Dani’s Playlist: Her playlist is the perfect workout playlist because it’s intense and high energy R&B, Hip-Hop and Rap songs. It’s an ode to black excellence and being unapologetically awesome. It features Beyonce, Cardi B, Lizzo and Salt-N-Pepa.

Lucy Rand

Lucy Rand is an Earth-21722 canon character and the daughter of Danny Rand (Iron Fist) and Misty Knight. She’s a highly skilled martial artist and gifted detective. While Val might be the most intelligent person in the world, Lucy is skilled at picking up social and culture nuances quickly and reading people despite not having empathy and psychic abilities. Despite having great tragedy in her life and losing her parents at a young age, she’s a very positive person who tends to do her best to make any difficult situation manageable. Lucy’s anger rarely comes out but when it does, it usually is when people disregard the sacrifice her parents made. Though privately, she’s very upset with them for not being there for the major events in her life and though Luke Cage and Jessica Jones had a big hand in raising her, they are not her parents. She has a permanent job at handling Dani’s short fuse but she wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. Like Dani, Lucy is very involved the community, but she has a lot of other outlets including knitting hats and managing the Instagram of her favorite little gremlin - her hairless cat Dobby. Lucy is the type of person who tends to put the focus on everyone but herself, something that the team does their best to curb. Very rarely is Lucy in any photos, mainly because she’s normally the one taking them. While she’s not field commander like Dani and El, she’s certainly the team negotiator when it comes to arguments. Needless to say with the amount of big personalities on the team, there is a fair share of fights she needs to break up and while Dani might be her best friend, Lucy’s most trusted companion is her jumbo sized bottle of migraine reliever pills. 

Lucy’s Playlist: Like Dani’s playlist, Lucy’s playlist features a lot of black excellence, but completely genre. Like Lucy herself, it’s a playlist with a lot of Soul and with a focus on fluidity rather than high energy. It features Aretha Franklin, Nina Simone, Whitney Houston and Ari Lennox.

Rebecca “Bekka” LeBeau

Bekka LeBeau is an Earth-41001 canon character and the daughter of Remy LeBeau (Gambit) and Anna-Marie LeBeau (Rogue). She inherited her father’s kinetic manipulation and her mother’s enhanced durability and flight. A complete Daddy’s Girl, she’s an incredibly gifted thief and has a penchant for using her abilities to blow shit up. However, instead of using playing cards, Bekka’s weapon of choice is…random objects from the dollar store? Don’t be surprised to see this chick throws weaponized plastic army men or marbles at your face. Despite her charisma, revolving door of men and natural extroversion, Bekka rarely opens up to people nor does she let people get close to her. This is a result of a very traumatic event in her childhood that completely changed both of her and older brother’s lives and caused her mutation to develop early at the age of eight. Due to this, she often suffers from nightmares and can be seen putting her absurdly gifted baking skills to work in the middle of the night. She’s the unofficial chef of the team and has introduced the team to a lot of Cajun cuisine. She’s a proud New Orleans girl and prepared to stomp your Southern stereotypes out of you. A running gag with Bekka is that despite being a very observant person, she is a penchant for refusing to see what’s right in front of her if she doesn’t want to see it such as her brother and best friend hooking up or that a certain ginger SHIELD agent is madly in love with her.

Bekka’s Playlist: Like Bekka herself, her playlist is a mixture of old school, new old and a little bit of subtle darkness. It has a mixture of Old School jazz, Classic Country and Southern Rock. It features Billie Holiday, Delta Rae, Dolly Parton and Gin Wigmore.

May “Mayday” Parker

Mayday Parker is an Earth-982 canon character and the daughter of Peter Parker (Spider-Man) and Mary Jane Watson. She inherited Peter’s enhanced physiology and wall-crawling abilities. While Mayday has her father’s intelligence, smart mouth and penchant for science, she’s more of an athlete than a nerd. She’s an avid lover of basketball and even played two years of Division Three basketball at Empire State University. She is a very frustrated New York Knicks and New York Mets fan and is often antagonized by Dani Cage, who has a tendency to be a very obnoxious Yankees fan. Though Mayday has a spot on the Daughters of Liberty team and often works outside the team as a research chemist, she has struggled with her identity since she stopped playing basketball. While she is currently Spider-Girl, she always views it more as her continuing her father’s work rather it being her own thing. Despite being incredibly bright and formidable fighter, Mayday also struggles with a lack of confidence and anxiety. She is often makes sarcastic jokes and often at her own expense. Mayday is loyal friend and often agonizes over the fact her superhero duties sometimes make her break her promises to her friends and family. However, she’s found a good support system in her girlfriend Nancy Lu, a telekinetic member of the X-Men and in her mentor, Val Richards. Though she is seven years older, Mayday often mothers her younger sister Annie, whom she sees as reckless and impulsive.

Mayday’s Playlist: This playlist is a mixture of Alternative and Rock music. It has a lot of songs that deal with self-esteem and discovering who are you is enough. It features Paramore, Avril Lavigne, Halsey and P!nk.

Anne “Annie” Parker 

Annie Parker is Earth-18119 canon character and the daughter of Peter Parker (Spider-Man) and Mary Jane Watson. Like her sister, she inherited her father’s enhanced physiology and wall-crawling abilities but that’s where their similarities end. Like her mother, Annie is an incredibly outgoing personality. With her love for pink, glitter and partying, most people look at Annie and think of her nothing more than an empty-headed party girl who does stupid shit and has nothing to add to the conversation. Wrong! Annie has one of the world’s highest IQs and is usually the smartest person in the room. She’s gifted in both sciences and mathematics. At the start of the story, she’s a student at Empire State University and is pursuing two degrees in Mathematics and Physics. She’s got an endemic memory which helps her manage her schoolwork, hero work and social life. Annie wasn’t initially invited to be a part of the team, but Mayday convinced Val and El to bring her on in hopes of curbing Annie’s partying. She’s a bit of hedonist and often does things to an excess. Since she was a child, Annie has been known for her bubbly attitude and infectiously positive attitude. This was developed at a young age as she rarely saw her older sister happy (not understanding that her sister suffered from depression and anxiety) and she made it her personal mission to make Mayday smile. Annie is a fearless girl with a big heart who doesn’t often think before putting herself in harm’s way, which unknowing stresses out her older sister more.

Annie’s Playlist: This playlist features a lot of Pop, Hip-Hop and Dance music. It’s high energy, upbeat and makes you just want to have a good time. Honestly, a good chunk of these songs have featured on RuPaul’s Drag Race as Lip Sync for your life songs. (Annie is a massive RuPaul fan). It features Arianna Grande, Britney Spears, Rihanna and Tove Lo.

Meredith “Mere” Pryde

Meredith Pryde is an Earth-41001 canon character and the daughter of Piotr Rasputin (Colossus) and Kitty Pryde (Shadow Cat). She inherited her mother’s phasing power, tech skills and ability to make epic callouts. She inherited almost nothing from her father, whom she doesn’t really remember since he died when she was young. She was raised mainly by her mother and her aunt Illyana Rasputin. Meredith joined the Daughters of Liberty so she didn’t have to deal with her brother Cameron second-guessing all of her choices and telling her to calm down. When Meredith sees injustice, she does her best to correct the situation and she doesn’t care who she has to call out. When she’s not doing work for the Daughters of Liberty, Meredith is active activist who is involved in various projects but especially on mutants’ rights. She attends and supports every march she can and her instagram is full of all her favorite protest and march signs that she sees. Aside from being involved in activism, Meredith’s second favorite activity is trolling her teammates, especially those who tend to be nonplussed about things. She’s notorious for her pranks and for playfully flirting with her teammates’ siblings to make them uncomfortable, namely Bekka. While she’s a notorious flirt, she has no interest in relationships and will punch you in the face if you ask her if she has a boyfriend or girlfriend. Though she is involved with the Daughters of Liberty and various movements, Meredith often suffers from loneliness because she doesn’t have a lot of time for herself and fostering her friendships. She’s every girl’s friend, but no one’s best friend. 

Meredith’s Playlist: This playlist highlights Meredith’s confidence and unapologetic nature. She is who she is, and you can take it or leave it. It’s an eclectic list which has mixture of Pop Rock, Pop, Alternative and R&B music. It features Superchick, Billie Eilish, Lily Allen and Icona Pop.

Wendy Nguyen

Wendy Nguyen is a character Shea and I made up, she is not related to anyone. Shocker. She’s a licensed therapist who often treats other superheroes and was actually assigned to El Rogers after the death of her father. She is an empath who is capable of sensing people’s emotions and when she touches them, she gets not only your emotions but your thoughts and even your memories. Her senses are incredibly strong and she often cannot be in the same room when someone is feeling things a bit too strongly, particularly her teammate Maya Ayala during the team’s first year together. Because she feels people’s emotions so strongly, Wendy is often confused whose emotions she is feeling - hers or someone else’s. This is one of the reasons it took her so long for her to admit her feelings for Val. Wendy is often seen as a quiet and thoughtful person who does her best to make her teammates confront their feelings for both her sake and theirs. She has an affinity for tea and has the world’s most absurd tea cabinet which is filled with tea from all over the world from her many travels. She also as an affinity for butterflies, which she views as being similar to human emotions - intense, sometimes beautiful but fleeting and fragile. Wendy often wears gloves to keep herself from accidentally touching others and taking their thoughts and memories without their permission. The ethics of her ability sometimes is a struggle for her since while they allow her to be good at job, however she feels them without control or consent from others. She rarely goes out with her friends in public areas mainly because being around so many people who are feeling a variety emotions is too much for her and causes her to have splitting headaches.

Wendy’s Playlist: Best described as folksy and acoustic. Wendy prefers most chilled out music because feeling others’ emotions can be very overwhelming. However, there’s a range of emotion here because she feels a lot. It features Of Monsters and Men, Regina Spektor, Jolie Holland and Hannah Connelly.

Yasmin “Yas” Khan

Yasmin Khan is a character Shea and I made up, she’s the niece of Kamala Khan (Miss Marvel). Like her aunt, Yasmin has Inhuman heritage alongside holding Pakistani and African heritages from her parents, Aamir and Tyesha. She was exposed to the Terrigen Mists and gained abilities similar to her father in which she can create psychic force fields, however she also has telekinesis and touch-telepathy. Yasmin is a practicing Muslim and while most of the women don’t wear hijabs nor expect her to wear one, she often feels to try and normalize Muslim practices in a society that is suspicious and often hateful towards her culture. She likes to joke that it covers up her bad hair days. Yasmin loves fashion and color, and though she is often the most modest wearing person in the room, she is definitely the most colorful and enjoys outrageous patterns. She is a big lover of pop culture and can often be seen playing Pokemon Go and watching shows on Crunchy Roll on her phone. She has a massive sweet tooth and can be seen in the kitchens watching Bekka bake in hopes of being allowed to have a bite. Though she doesn’t drink, she is best friends with Annie and often accompanies her on nights out and makes sure her friend doesn’t get into any trouble. Yasmin is one of the few people who isn’t out with her personal identity and this is mainly due to her fear of people hurting her family due to the rampant Muslim prejudice in the United States. As one of the youngest members of the team, her teammates are incredibly protective of her and have actually a designated plan ready to cheer her up if they ever see Yasmin is upset, which is called Operation: Yas Smiles. 

Yas’s Playlist: Like Meredith, Yap’s playlist is very colorful and has a diverse range of generics from R&B to Soul and Rap. It has a range of emotions since while Yas is a very cheerful person and absolute sweetheart, there’s some anger there at how she and other Muslims are treated. It features Mona Haydar, SassyBlack, Daya and Azealia Banks.

Maya Ayala

Maya Ayala is a character Shea and I made up, she’s the daughter of Hector Ayala (White Tiger) and the niece of Ava Ayala (White Tiger). Nothing happy ever happens to the Ayala family and unfortunately that saga continues with Maya, who witnessed her entire family and boyfriend being murdered in front of her during a shoot out in the Bronx. She took up the mantle of White Tiger and has been on a search to find their murderer. Before becoming the current incarnation of the White Tiger, Maya was a former competitive gymnast who was almost on the United States Olympic team and was working as a gymnastics coach. However, since the incident, she’s put all of her energy into getting revenge for her family and joined the Daughters of Liberty to honor her aunt and to use her resources to get justice. While her focus is on revenge, her greatest desire is to see her family and her boyfriend again. At the beginning, she kept herself from her teammates because she didn’t want to get attached, but after awhile, she became very close with Wendy, Val, Dani and Lucy. Maya has a secret love for telenovelas which she tries to keep quiet because she’s afraid of being seen as stereotypical. Despite this, she’s very proud Latina and gets pissed off when people write her off as “Mexican” or “foreign,” especially since her family hails from Puerto Rico and she’s just as American as anyone else. However, occasionally she does share her culture with the others, and occasionally makes arroz con gandules and pollo guisado with Bekka for the team. 

Maya’s Playlist: This is list is a mixture of Latin Pop, Alternative and R&B. It holds a mixture of Maya before the loss of her family and after. A lot of the latin pop are from gymnastic routines she would create. However, there’s also a lot of anger and sadness here, which is understandable. It features Audri Nix, Ciara, Lana Del Rey and Skylar Grey.

[thegravecartel]

Character Interview (Repost Not Reblog)

NAME:  Kyung Hee Jee

AGE:  24

FAMILY:  Feng Ippuki (Adoptive Grandfather), Shinju Ippuki (Adoptive Mother), Tamara Marquis (Godmother), Lee Nickel Woolf (Adoptive Older Sibling), Luka Woolf (Adoptive Father).  Kyung also tends to be very inclined to seeing her close friends/allies/friends of her family as family in general, and addresses them as such if they allow it.  She also used to be a foster child to an American family, and throughout her childhood, was allowed to take trips to visit them even after being adopted into the Ippuki/Woolf family.

SIGNIFICANT OTHER:  Since she is a multi-shippable muse on this blog, it depends on what continuity/AU/Crossover we’re going off of.

Kyung x Harpreet [@made-out-of-magic] [Mainverse alt. TL] ship where she is happily married to a Tulpa that was manifested from Great Tiger [@the-great-tiger-of-mumbai] that has a very long history!  

Kyung x Steward [@thelastresidents] [Mainverse alt. TL] that doubles as a Crossover into the Luigi’s Mansion 3 universe where Kyung found herself as a spectral guest at The Last Resort, and after spending a good amount of time there, became coupled with the head bellhop, Steward.  There are also other ships that vary in development that have been RP’d on, and off-blog that are in the other AUs;

Kyung was paired with a fictional Ringo Starr [the blog has been deactivated] in the 1960′s AU 

She was paired with a Slig [Garfunkle the Slig] in the Oddworld AU where she isn’t a human, but a made-up species of alien(?).

There’s a good bit of development in a ship that takes place in the Ornaments!AU where Kyung, as a gnome in this verse, gets an attachment to a maid doll, Beth [@flowermist7432​].

𝙿𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙾𝙽𝙰𝙻.

RELIGIOUS BELIEF:  Polytheist, most likely.  She doesn’t really associate herself with any religion, but fully acknowledges the existence of deities in her world because she’s literally died, rejected ascending into the Heavens/Cosmos, and cannon-ball’d into the inferno just so she could fight her way back to the Land of the Living.  Naturally, she’s going to be more open to the possibility of other religious figures existing in the universe.  Of course, she found herself becoming more curious about the deities in Voodoo, and Hinduism over time.

SINS:  greed  /  gluttony  /  sloth  / lust  /  pride  /  envy  /  wrath 

VIRTUES:  chastity  / charity  /  diligence  /  humility /  kindness /  patience  /  justice 

PRIMARY GOALS IN LIFE:  To make her family proud (she’s achieved that already, but always feels that she needs to continue pursuing it); and to help people who are stuck in horrible life-situations (primarily domestic violence/abuse, abandonment, severe grief/mourning, and human trafficking), and get them on-track to making a better life for themselves.

KNOWN LANGUAGES:  English (her first and primary language), Mandarin Chinese, and Japanese.

SECRETS:  

She’s a vigilante who targets predators, other serial killers who go after innocent people/”easy prey”, and the unredeemable malicious folk.  

She takes on “clean-up crew” jobs for the more crime-savvy side of her family for the right price/reward.

She’s technically a madam(pimp) in the Las Vegas Strip district, but that’s mainly because she has devoted her strip club, The Velvet Rose Cabaret, to being an undercover sanctuary for prostitutes on the run from their abusive pimps, and has since expanded her operation into wiping out said pimps when she finds them.

Even though she isn’t necessarily in a gang, or a gang leader, Kyung has strong ties to various gangs that consider her as one of their own.

She doesn’t exactly know if it’s just a false-memory, or if it was real, but she may have tried to cannibalize her former assistant and close friend’s murderer in a blind rage.

SAVVIES:  Martial Arts, mortuary science, taxidermy, gardening, cooking and baking, and herbalism are main points of interest for her.  However, Kyung is quite fond of certain video games (Don’t Starve, Minecraft, Animal Crossing, Subnautica, Dead By Daylight, and Left 4 Dead), loves to sing, dance (belly-dancing, pole dancing, free-form), and enjoys doing gymnastics (even if her balance is a bit off sometimes).

𝙿𝙷𝚈𝚂𝙸𝙲𝙰𝙻.

BUILD:  scrawny  /  bony  /  slender  /  fit  /  athletic  /  curvy  /  herculean  /  pudgy  /  average 

HEIGHT:  5′ 4″

SCARS / MARKS:  Kyung has two beauty marks on her face (one under her left eye, and one that’s constantly hidden under her hair on the corner of her right eye), and wears her scars proudly (unless she has to cover them up with makeup for special occasions/events).  Her scars are mostly stitches from when she’s been stabbed/cut, or where she’s been shot (two out of three of her deaths have been by getting shot).  Naturally, as a fighter, she typically nurses a few nasty bruises, and bloodied knuckles.

ABILITIES / POWERS:  Heightened levels of physical strength, flexibility, speed, durability, pain-tolerance, and stamina.  Fully trained in using firearms, blade-throwing, and is a master of various fighting styles.  As a ghost [LM3 universe], she maintains these abilities with the addition of having access to using her soul-bound scythe, and having the default abilities a ghost has.  On the off-chance her assistance is needed by her godmother, Kyung willingly allows herself to become a sort of magical conduit/vessel for Tamara to possess.

RESTRICTIONS:  She tends to take on more damage due to preferring to block certain attacks, instead of dodging.  Being a left-handed person, Kyung takes on a Southpaw fighting stance, which leaves her more open to attack from an opponent if she’s boxing.  Even as a High Functioning Autistic person, Kyung still has the occasional issues with timing her movements, short bursts of memory loss, and delayed reflexes. 

𝙵𝙰𝚅𝙾𝚁𝙸𝚃𝙴𝚂.

FOOD:  Kyung loves sweets, and various types of comfort food (spaghetti and meatballs, mac ‘n’ cheese, salmon, etc.).  While she prefers soups, stews, Asian and Western cuisine, Kyung tends to get very interested in different foods from other parts of the World.  This is especially the case if it looks good, and has certain ingredients that she knows that she loves.

DRINK:  She prefers coffee (generously sweetened), but loves tinkering around with floral/herbal teas, bubble tea, mocktails, milkshakes, and fruit juice.  If it’s sweet, she’ll very likely drink it, yet doesn’t care too much for sodas or energy drinks.

PIZZA TOPPING:  Pizza isn’t something she eats that often, but when she does, Kyung either gets extra cheese and black olives, or will branch out with less traditional toppings such as broccoli, carrots, sliced meatballs, and spinach.

COLOUR:  Red-Orange #ff3700

MUSIC GENRE:  No real preference for genre, and just loves a little bit of almost everything (for some reason, she’s not the biggest fan of Country, and it makes her sad that she can’t listen to it properly).

BOOK GENRE:  She reads a lot of anatomy and physiology books (especially the ones that are more “explicit”), hobbies/crafts, and various skin-leather bound books from her journey through Hell (she can’t really read them, but she likes the pictures).

MOVIE GENRE:  Horror, typically old ones with the exception of contemporary/modern flicks that catch her interest.  She also loves the more adult-comedies, and animated movies/cartoons that are for all ages.

SEASON:  Fall, and Spring.

CURSE WORD:  F-bombs for days, along with a lot of the S-word, and frequently uses the Christian lord’s name in vain out of habit.

SCENT(S):  Sugary sweet desserts (she especially loves vanilla), and sweet-floral (rose, sweetpea, passion flower, lily of the valley).

𝚁𝙰𝙽𝙳𝙾𝙼.

BOTTOM OR TOP:  Bottom bunk, unless the top bunk has safety railing.  Otherwise, she’s a versatile top depending on her partner.

SINGS IN THE SHOWER:  Surprisingly, no.

LIKES BAD PUNS:  Absolutely!  She finds puns hilarious in general, and probably laughs harder at them than necessary.

[taeyongluvs-blog]

Trouble

SUMMARY: Everybody knew Na Jaemin was trouble. Even his parents knew that was why he was sent to a school for delinquent in the country side. Enter you, a naïve born and raised country girl who believed that everyone had a sliver of good in their heart until you met Jaemin.

GENRE: Angst

PAIRING: Jaemin and Reader

NOTE(S): This is going to be a tough one to write since Na Jaemin is an actual angel sent by the heavens in this world and by no means like his character in this story. There will be mentions of underage drinking, smoking, drug use and abuse in this story so please if you are sensitive to those topics then I highly suggest you do not proceed. Thank you!

The rain was pouring heavily just as you were on your way home from a volunteer work at the local daycare of your town. Fortunately, you brought an umbrella with you but it wasn’t that much of a help since your clothes were still getting soaked by the harsh wind that accompanied the rain. It was always like this in your hometown, Yeodo. When it rained, it rained heavily and when it was sunny, the heat was almost unbearable. You were used to it, though, since you were born and raised in Yeodo.

Yeodo was a small island with about three hundred residents mostly elderly. The main source of income for many household was through farming and fishing. Yeodo was mostly known to many as that—a small island with farming and fishing as the main source of income but not a lot know that Yeodo was also the place where local governments from Seoul, Busan, Daegu and other major cities of the country send teenage delinquents for rehabilitation. At least twice every month, a ship comes and dozens of teenage boys and girls were sent to the old park turned rehabilitation center for the program. Your mother was an employee there and she taught technical and vocational subjects such as dressmaking, flower arrangement and beauty and hair. Meanwhile, your father was a Math teacher who also served as the guidance counselor and once in a while, he also taught car mechanics and repair as an elective. When you entered high school, you started volunteering at the rehabilitation center as one of the substitute art and music teacher for those under the age of fourteen alongside your best friend Huang Renjun.

Most of the kids sent to Yeodo were arrested due to multiple offenses such as continuous vandalizing, theft and public disturbance. There weren’t any serious offense until Na Jaemin arrived. His record was unlike anything you had heard and he was the talk of the town the moment his run-ins with the law were spread throughout the town and mind you, it spreaded out rapidly. He was from Seoul, a nineteen year-old who came from a prominent and wealthy background. The record didn’t say who his parents were to protect their reputation so people assumed his family must be one of those chaebols. His first run-in with the law was vandalizing a bus stop when he was only fourteen. Then, his run-ins just became worse and worse as he grew older. From petty vandalizing to drug dealing, supplying and usage to gang-related activities. So yes, Na Jaemin definitely stood out among the rest of the kids who were sent to Yeodo for rehabilitation that month.

The first time you saw Na Jaemin was when you were delivering the milk one of the eldery, Mrs. Im, asked you to give to the local daycare. As you arrived, you noticed a hooded figure spray painting on the gates of the daycare. You moved your bicycle off the street and walked over to where the figure was, arms crossed over your chest and a frown etched upon your face. “Excuse me but what are you doing?” You asked.

The figure looked at you—it was him, the infamous Na Jaemin. He was wearing an all black outfit, causing his pink hair to stand out. “What does it look like I’m doing?” He asked you back as he pulled his face mask down, letting it rest on his chin.

“You’re vandalizing a daycare. That is wrong and pretty sure, illegal.” You told him, as a matter-of-fact.

He hummed in response. “I wouldn’t say ‘vandalizing’ rather ‘expressing’ and ‘giving life’. You say this is a daycare? Why the fuck is it so bland then?” He chuckled as he continued on spray painting the gates.

You coughed at the smell but approached him anyways. You were about to tell him off and threaten him by calling the rehabilitation center where he should at when your eyes landed on the image, rather images, you saw painted on the gates. The first thing you saw was the artistically written ‘Welcome to Yeodo Daycare!’ on the very top then your eyes wandered around the various images of children playing and smiling, playing sports and music. On the corner down below, you saw a sentence, ‘Keep on dreaming and don’t let others dictate what your dream should be. Stay in school. NJ.’ You looked up to compliment Jaemin’s work but he was already gone along with his spray paints.

When you arrived home, you quickly took a hot shower got dressed into a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie over one of your old T-shirt that surprisingly still fit you. Your parents were out helping with the planning for the upcoming village fiesta so you got the entire house to yourself since you were an only child. You thought about inviting Renjun over but the rain was still pouring heavily and you didn’t want him to get soaked since he gets sick easily. So, instead, you decided to watch a movie instead. You chose through the rack of DVDs under the television and settled with the first film in the Harry Potter series, The Sorcerer’s Stone. You set the movie up and paused it as you prepared snacks. Once you were finished, preparing your snacks, you made your way back into the living room but something, or rather someone, caught your eyes outside of your house through the window.

It was Jaemin. You could tell because he was the only one in Yeodo who had pink hair. You moved closer towards the window as you watched him. He was limping, holding his side. A frown drew on your face, he’s gotten into trouble again? Ever since Jaemin got to Yeodo and started his rehabilitation program, it was clear that he was a hard one. He didn’t follow the rules and gets into fights with the others with him mostly instigating it. He had been punished for every rule breaking but he didn’t care at all. Not even a little bit.

You sighed as you grabbed the umbrella from the old vase your father bought in a garage sale in Seoul and made your way outside. “Na Jaemin!” you called out as you unlocked the small gate of your house.

Jaemin didn’t stop walking (limping, actually) and you shook your head as you ran after him. “Jaemin-ssi, who did you fight with now?” you asked as you stood in front of him, making sure that your umbrella was also covering him.

Jaemin looked at you and you gasped in shock when you saw the cuts and bruises scattered on his face. He managed to scoff and pushed you aside as he continued to walk (limp!). “Jaemin! You’re going to get sick!”

“Would you leave me alone? For fuck’s sake, ever since I got in this shitty town you’d been all up my ass!” Jaemin exploded, looking over his shoulder. His eyes were a shade darker and you could feel the anger seeping inside you as you met his gaze with an anxious one.

“I just want to help you, that’s all.” you replied, holding the handle of your umbrella tightly. You felt a lump forming in your throat and the tears pooling in your eyes.

“Well, I don’t need it so stop talking to me. Stop getting into my business. You’re not my mother and you’re not my friend.”

“(Y/N), are you okay?”

Renjun’s voice snapped you out of your trance and you looked at him to see a worried look etched on his face. You gave him a smile. “I’m sorry. I’m just daydreaming.” you told him. “What were you saying?”

Renjun chuckled and patted your head. “Cute.” He said as he pinched your cheek. You groaned playfully and slapped his hand away. “I was telling you that my mom asked if its possible that the kids at our music class at rehabilitation center can prepare for a stage number.”

Your eyes lit up. “Of course! That’d be awesome and I’m sure the kids would be willing to do it.”

“Whoo,” Renjun whistled. “I thought you’d say it was impossible. You know how persuasive my mother can be, right? I was pressured into saying yes.”

It was now your turn to pinch his cheek. ”Aigoo, my best friend is such a mama’s boy!”

Renjun rolled his eyes. “Stop calling me that! I’m a man, (Y/N)! A man!”

You laughed, throwing your head back. You were really thankful for having Renjun around. You honestly didn’t know what to do if he wasn’t. He was like your other half, your twin. He always brought out the inner child in you because most of the time, you were serious and too focused on responsibilities you had with your volunteer work and your actual job at the town’s convenience store. Renjun was the balance you needed in your life and you were really thankful for his existence.

Soon, your homeroom teacher arrived and checked the attendance. Once that was over, she reminded everyone of the upcoming finals and the scholarship forms from the big universities in the city had arrived and could be filled out at the administration office. Renjun nudged your elbow when your adviser was announcing it and you nudged him back. The two of you were planning to take the scholarship exam of SM University. Renjun wanted to become an architectural engineer while you wanted to become a teacher. SM University offered both courses and had a great program so you and Renjun hoped that you two will be able to pass the exam.

School went by quickly. Most of the time, you were just spacing out. Your mind just kept wandering between the scholarship forms and Jaemin. You couldn’t help but to feel hurt at what Jaemin said that day. You just wanted to help him out, why did he have to be such a jerk in turning down the help? You really wanted to believe that Jaemin had some goodness in him because you believe that everyone had goodness in them but you were starting to doubt Jaemin had. Maybe he really was just like what everyone in town was saying—a spoiled rich kid who have a temper.

“Oh! (Y/N), can I ask you for a favor?” your last teacher for the day, Ms. Jung, called out as you were about to leave. You spun on your heel and nodded, making your way towards her. “Your house is on the way to the rehabilitation center, right?” you nodded. “My brother Jaehyun is volunteering with a couple of friends there at the moment and I promised that I’ll bring them snacks but there’s a meeting in five minutes so could you please take this to them?” Ms. Jung grabbed your hand and placed some bills on your palm before closing it.

“Yes, Ms. Jung. I’ll give this to them.” you replied before bidding her good bye with a bow and you were off towards the rehabilitation center.

When you arrived, you easily spotted Jaehyun helping with the decorations. And as much as you didn’t want to notice Jaemin, he really stood among the rest not only because of his pink hair but also because of the mural he was creating on the walls of the center. He really was a great painter, an artist, and you wished you could tell him that but your last encounter with him made it very clear that he didn’t want anything to do you. With a sigh, you made your way towards Jaehyun.

“Hey.” you said as you tapped Jaehyun on his shoulder. When he turned to you, you smiled at him and he smiled back, putting down the decoration he was holding on the table behind him. “Your sister wanted me to give you this. She said she couldn’t make it because she has a meeting.” you said as you handed him the money.

“We’re taking a break in five minutes. Do you want to come and eat? My treat.” Jaehyun offered, looking at you expectantly. Not again, you thought. It wasn’t news to you that Jaehyun liked you and he even confessed last summer but you had rejected him since you weren’t ready for any romantic relationship. Jaehyun was determined, though, and while he understood that you weren’t ready, he also found a loophole: you didn’t state that you didn’t like him back so he persistently asked you out whenever he was in town. Jaehyun was already in his second year of college, pursuing a medical degree in one of the top universities in Seoul. Whenever he was in town, everyone practically rejoiced. He was the golden boy of Yeodo and everyone loved Jaehyun because he really had the whole package. He was smart, kind, handsome and responsible. So when the town found out that you rejected him—you didn’t tell anyone but you felt ostracized. One elderly even told you, “Aish, you silly girl, why did you reject Jaehyun-ah? Who are you to reject someone as perfect as him?” Of course you didn’t answer back so you just nodded and apologized.

You had your reasons why you rejected Jaehyun but you didn’t dare tell anyone those, not even Renjun. Truth was, Jaehyun was indeed smart, kind, handsome and responsible but for all the wrong reasons. He was smart so he used that as an advantage to manipulate and uplift himself while simultaneously downgrading those who weren’t academically inclined. He was kind but only to those who he knew he would benefit from aka the elderly, the teachers and the adults. He was handsome and once again used that as an advantage to get anything he wants especially from the people he knew liked him and worshipped him like he was some god. And yes, he was responsible but for all the wrong things. He was the student council president when he was still attending your high school and he used that responsibility to order and dictate people around. Overall, you didn’t like Jaehyun because he was an arrogant, narcissistic bully.

You gave Jaehyun an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry but I have to go to work now. I just had to give you the money from Ms. Jung. I’m sorry again.”

You were about to leave when Jaehyun grabbed your hand and it wasn’t gentle by any means. “(Y/N), come on, I just came back from Seoul. Don’t you wanna catch up with me?” His tone wasn’t lighthearted, too. He was annoyed, you could tell.

“I’m really sorry, Jaehyun-ssi, some other time, maybe?” you tried to grab your hand back but he was holding onto it so tight that it was starting to hurt.

“You said that the—,” Suddenly, Jaehyun’s hand and yours were forcefully split. “You again, huh? Go, we’re talking.”

“You were trying to force her into doing something she clearly doesn’t want to do,” Jaemin spoke up as he stood in the middle of you and Jaehyun, his back facing you. “Not very golden of you, huh, hyung?”

Your eyes widened in shock. No one ever tried to talk back to Jaehyun especially in a mocking tone but here was Jaemin doing exactly that. You couldn’t see what Jaehyun’s expression was since Jaemin’s broad shoulders prevented you from doing so but you could tell from the stares of the other people in the center that he was pissed. You heard Jaehyun scoff. “What to expect from a criminal? Respect? Who am I kidding? Yah, criminal, don’t call me hyung, alright?”

“Yes, but at least I got the balls to do my dirty works upfront not behind everyone’s backs.” Jaemin snickered and before you knew it, you had been pushed to the ground when Jaemin staggered backwards. He landed on you and you yelped in pain. “Get the fuck off me, you psycho!” Jaemin yelled as he pushed Jaehyung off of him and then grabbed your hand. “You know how to run?” He asked but he didn’t wait for you to answer and pulled you up, dragging you away from the center and the angry Jaehyun.

You didn’t know how long you and Jaemin had been running but it was long enough because you found yourself at the docks where fishermen parked their boats and where tourists arrived. You were out of breath, collapsing on the ground as your chest rose rapidly. Sweat covered your body, your hair sticking all over your hair as the ponytail you had been wearing became undone. Jaemin, on the other hand, was catching up on his breath but he didn’t look anywhere as exhausted as you were. You grabbed your bag beside you and pulled out the bottle of water you had, quickly opening the cap and gulping the liquid until the last drop.

“Thanks for sharing.” Jaemin said, chuckling. You looked up at him, amusement plastered on his face. You shook your head as you pushed yourself off the ground and brushed away the dirt on your uniform.

“Thank you.” you said, facing him. “For saving me back there.”

Jaemin scoffed, reaching something from his shoe. A cigarette. “I didn’t save you; I wanted to piss golden boy off.” He replied then faced you, the cigarette now between his lips. “Got a lighter?”

You shook your head. “That’s bad for your health.” you told him, pointing at the stick between his lips. “And don’t say we’re all gonna die at one point. What about the rest of your life before that?”

“I thought we established the fact that we aren’t friends so why are you still up on my business? Don’t you have a life?” Jaemin snapped, raising his eyebrow at you.

“I owe you my life. The least I could do is to—,”

Jaemin took a step towards you, throwing his stick away and closing in the distance between the two of you. He leaned down, meeting your eyes. “I didn’t save you.”

“Why do you keep up with that façade, Jaemin? It doesn’t hurt to be a good person.” you told him softly, meeting his hardened gaze with your soft ones.

“I’m not a good person. Why the fuck do you think I was sent in this shitty island for?” Jaemin took a step back, running his fingers through his hair.

“Everyone has goodness in them, Jaemin. You are no exception.” you said, shrugging your shoulders.

“Everyone? You sure about that? Even that prick Jaehyun?” Jaemin chuckled. You didn’t reply and watched as he walked towards the end of the dock. The sun was already setting and the environment around the both of you were draped with bright orange. You walked towards him and stood beside him. “Does he like you or something?” He asked after a moment of silence.

“Yes,” you didn’t deny. “I rejected him though. I don’t... particularly find him my type.”

“Just say you don’t like him.” Jaemin said, annoyed. “Nobody has a type, trust me.”

“I’m not in a position to say I don’t like Jaehyun, Jaemin.” you said with an empty, almost inaudible laugh.

Jaemin raised an eyebrow. “What?”

You took a deep breath as you held your chin up, watching as the sun set in the horizon. You never told anyone about your reasons why you don’t like Jaehyun but somehow, with Jaemin, it felt right. And so you told him and when you checked to see if he was listening from time to time, you found himself with his eyes closed and seated on the edge of the dock, legs dangling above the cold water. You could tell he was listening because every time you stopped, he would open his eyes and tell you to proceed. Once the story was over, Jaemin rose from his seat. “So he’s a jack ass who can’t take no from an answer. And here I was thinking men had finally developed.”

You only smiled. “If he bothers you again then just punch him or kick his dick. You gotta learn to put ‘no’ into actions, (Y/N)-ssi.”

“I will keep that in mind.”

And for the rest of the hour, you and Jaemin just sat in silence as the last bit of light faded and the moon rose, lighting up the sea before the two of you.

Hanging out with Jaemin after that day became an everyday thing. It would always be by the docks. You would pack snacks and little lunchboxes for the two of you to share while conversing about the most random thing like which was better: chicken wings or chicken legs. But there were times where the conversation was serious and deep like the time Jaemin first opened up to you. You remember just telling him an anecdote about your childhood and he replied by telling you he didn’t have as much fun as you did when he was little. You asked why and to your surprise, Jaemin told you that he was an only child and his parents were always busy with work so he didn’t get to play and spend time with them as you did with your parents when you were little. He left it at that but you were thankful that Jaemin was starting to open up. Days passed before Jaemin opened up to you again and this time, he told you how he became the person he was now. His parents, specifically his father, was a known businessman and was very strict towards him. To Jaemin, he never really felt like he was his father but one of his employees. Jaemin always felt controlled by his father and he just snapped one day. Vandalizing and petty crimes were his way of getting back at his father and even though he was beaten up every time his father would learn of his actions, Jaemin never felt pain but rather an immense feeling of victorious. Then he met some people that weren’t exactly ‘good’ people. They were the ones who taught him how to do drugs, drink, smoke and other illegal things—street race, theft, burglary, public disturbance and hacking to name a few. He was aware that what he was doing was too much but for the first time in his life, Jaemin felt like he had a family. When his father learned about this, it was the last straw and he was sent to Yeodo.

You felt sorry for Jaemin but he made it clear that he didn’t need that from anyone. He didn’t regret his actions and he wasn’t repenting for it either. After he told you all that, he turned to you and said, “Still think I’m a good person?” He had a loopsided smirk when he asked you that.

“Humans are a complex being,” you told him. “We do things we think are right and justifiable but for some it may be wrong and unjust. You did all those because you wanted to get back at your father—that is understandable but along the way of doing so, you had hurt innocent people who were just trying to get by and that is wrong.” you faced Jaemin, a small smile on your face. “I think you’re a good person, Jaemin; its just you chose to be the villain in your own story.”

The streets were already dark but the lamp posts illuminated some parts. You and Jaemin were on your back and to your surprise, Jaemin offered to walk you home as payment for all the food you kept on bringing whenever the two of you would meet. You were thankful that it was night time already and the lamp posts weren’t as bright as before because you had been blushing like hell ever since Jaemin offered to take you home. You knew it meant nothing but still, you couldn’t get the butterflies in your stomach to stop being chaotic and your face from turning red. You had been feeling this way lately—giddy and nervous and awkward whenever you were with Jaemin. You had a hunch why but you didn’t want to say it out loud especially to yourself. It just wasn’t right. And even if it was, it would just be one-sided and eventually Jaemin would have to go once he finishes his stay at Yeodo. So you just kept it to yourself and enjoyed the moments you spent with him.

You found yourself in front of your house moments later. The lights were on and you could hear the sound of television inside. You faced Jaemin, “Thanks for walking me home.”

“It’s not free, you know. You have to pay me.” Jaemin said as a matter of fact.

You furrowed your eyebrows. “How? Do you want me to make that sandwich you like again?” you asked, grabbing the lunchbox from his hand as you chuckled.

“No, something else.” Jaemin replied.

“What do you—,” Before you can finish your sentence, you felt something on your lips. Your eyes widened in shock and surprise as Jaemin held your face with his hands, moving his lips against yours. You were frozen, unable to respond but you didn’t need to as he pulled away just as quick as he kissed you.

“I expect that payment every time I accompany you anywhere. Got it, (Y/N)?” Jaemin smiled at you—not in a mocking or teasing way but a real, genuine and sincere smile. You felt like your heart was about to explode. “Yah, did you turn into a stone?” He poked your cheek and you blinked your eyes rapidly, feeling your face heat up. He chuckled. “Was that your first kiss?”

You nodded in embarrassment. You should be mad because you expected your first kiss to be more magical but you weren’t. In fact, you were practically jumping and screaming inside. “First kisses are really not that special, (Y/N). You get to have many first kisses in your life. What’s important is who’s gonna be your last. Do you think I can be that guy?” Jaemin stepped forward and grabbed your hand, lacing his fingers with yours. “I told myself I wouldn’t fall for you but I did and I was wondering if you want to fall for me too?”

“I—yes, I, I want to, Jaemin-ssi.” you stuttered out, lowering your gaze. You couldn’t meet his eyes. It was too much.

“Can I have another kiss?” He asked and you nodded shyly. Placing his fingers on your chin, he lifted your face and smiled before connecting his lips with yours.

Being with Jaemin made you feel alive and you didn’t know that was possible. You didn’t understand when people say don’t just live instead be alive but now you do. Whenever you were with Jaemin, you felt like you could conquer the world. Whenever you were with Jaemin, it felt like it was the only the two of you in the world. You felt so happy and so lucky because Jaemin was just too perfect to even be real but whenever he held you close to him and kissed you—you realized that it was real and he was real and him being your boyfriend was real. You used to think that you had a pretty great life then you met him and he changed all that. You didn’t know how one person can change your life entirely.

Before Jaemin, you were living a simple life—a life that everyone in Yeodo was living.

After Jaemin, you realized how much you were missing out on.

Three months after the two of you started dating, you woke up one day and learned that Jaemin was released from the rehabilitation center and was brought back to Seoul to start anew. You cried your heart out—why didn’t he say good bye? You remembered just falling apart. You gave everything to that boy but he just left. You always knew he would but he promised to say good bye and to write since there was no stable signal at Yeodo but ever since he left, there wasn’t a single letter from Seoul that arrived.

Three months later, you graduated and found out you got accepted into SM University along with Renjun. You were supposed to be happy and celebrate but you went home, acceptance letter in your hand, and went to sleep.

Yet another three months later, you were bidding your parents and everyone in town good bye as you and Renjun boarded the ship towards Seoul to settle for college that was about to start in two months. You were feeling better now and tried to forget the pink-haired boy that was your first love.

And as you left Yeodo, you looked back one last time and reminisced back to the days where the dock felt like the entire world whenever you were Jaemin. But now, it was just empty.

[cloudybookash-blog]

1-50 of the oc questions thing whenever u reblog it ho

1. What’s their full name? Why was that chosen? Does it mean anything?

-

2. Do they have any titles? How did they get them?

Second Heir to the Throne, Banished Princess... pretty self explanatory titles.

3. Did they have a good childhood? What are fond memories they have of it? What’s a bad memory?

I mean I guess. Raised as royalty with access to education, food, clothing, and physical training. Lonely, maybe, obviously she had a best friend so she was never truly alone. The banishment probably hit her hard but she’s a resilient character so she bounced back. A fond memory may be just a normal day during her banishment, playing wildly with a litter of Hell Hound pups her Uncle (also banished) was raising. A bad memory... more than likely seeing her father kill her mother and brother - the members of the family closest to her.

4. What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents?

She had a lot of love for her mother and grew up deeply respecting her father. Her mother spent a lot of time with the eldest son but was always first in line to comfort and cheer on her eldest daughter - as with any of her children. I don’ t actually really touch on many (if any) memories between my oc and her mother, because I got no clue what a loving mother/daughter relationship looks like lol. Some of the happiest memories between my OC and her father probably come from when he would throw her a knowing look in the middle of counsel whether it was because he was about to win an argument or the opposition were being idiots, he knew she’d understand and seemed to really enjoy his eldest daughters ruling attitude. Her worst memory would probably be her banishment as he’s the one who made the decree.

5. Do they have any siblings? What’s their names? What is their relationship with them? Has their relationship changed since they were kids to adults?

She has three, an older brother and a young brother and sister. When they were young they were pretty close, there’s a massive age difference between the first two and the younger two. Her older brother was the only one of the siblings to visit the OC in her banishment so they stayed relatively close. Her older brother was always more focused on his turn to rule and how he would do so. Her younger siblings, when she returned from her banishment had obviously been turned more or less against her. She harbours no ill will towards them but is definitely sad. The relationship is not as hostile between her and her younger sister as they were quite similar kids.

6. What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate?

God almighty these are some nosey questions. Okay, OC is alien and royal. She was given specific lessons on specific topics but was never really taught in a school environment/class setting. Lots of one on ones. She enjoyed sports a lot, especially team sports which she could captain. And in her banishment became quite enthralled by animals (specifically Hell Hounds that her Uncle raised and trained in his banishment). Techinically they live A LOT longer than us so she’s been ‘learning’ for over 90years, but they also have a lot more history to learn, so I guess she didn’t finish? I think she probably hated the arts but only because she wasn’t an artsy type, she still had a casual admiration for the skill and its lessons because we love an appreciative queen.

7. Did they have lots of friends as a child? Did they keep any of their childhood friends into adulthood? 

They (the royals) are given a type of special guard (one person) around their birth who accompanies them anywhere and everywhere. Not much else, they’re pretty elitist. No fraternizing with the commoners type stuff. But she obviously remained close with her guard.

8. Did they have pets as a child? Do they have pets as an adult? Do they like animals? 9. Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals?

No pets as a young kid while living as a royal family member. And technically no pets in banishment but her Uncle made his money training Hell Hounds by the thousands and she was prone to getting attached and naming them. She loves animals as a whole though, although banishment meant she no longer had to retain royal conduct not many commoners wanted anything to do with a banished kid so animals became her friends. She’s pretty good with them. 

10. Do they like children? Do children like them? Do they have or want any children? What would they be like as a parent? Or as a godparent/babysitter/ect?

I mean technically she’s still a kid so...?

11. Do they have any special diet requirements? Are they a vegetarian? Vegan? Have any allergies?

So far I don’t have any special requirements, diets or allergies for this particular OC.

12. What is their favourite food? 

She likes fish.

13. What is their least favourite food?

Doesn’t like most sweet treats.

14. Do they have any specific memories of food/a restaurant/meal?

I haven’t written in 8000 years so on the top of my memory I do remember a family meal but I have no clue what its purpose is or was so, WOOP!

15. Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?

She probably just likes making fish. Good at making fish. Not much else, royal family member and all.

16. Do they collect anything? What do they do with it? Where do they keep it? 

I was thinking about having her collect rocks because what child doesn’t? But I don’t know how to incorporate that into the story in a cohesive way.

17. Do they like to take photos? What do they like to take photos of? Selfies? What do they do with their photos?

No cameras in this world. Maybe paintings but they’re on the run so I doubt they’d leap around and out of danger with a canvas portrait dragging them down.

18. What’s their favourite genre of: books, music, tv shows, films, video games and anything else 19. What’s their least favourite genres? 

Books aren’t really a luxury item, so no fiction books for the princess. Probably enjoys her planets form of country/pop music. No tvs, no films, no video-games.

BOOOOI I LITERALLY DON’T THINK ABOUT ANY OF THIS XD.

20. Do they like musicals? Music in general? What do they do when they’re favourite song comes?

She enjoys music, like I said she’s a casual admirer of the arts due to being personally terrible at them. She’s probably a foot tapper/head bobber type.

21. Do they have a temper? Are they patient? What are they like when they do lose their temper?

She got a wild temper. When she was younger it would lead her into quite violent tantrums but through banishment she learnt to control it/think it through. Obviously still not completely in control but less likely to pop off on site.

22. What are their favourite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?

I don’t know as that she insults people actually? Maybe is just really sarcastic with them... huh, I know nothing about this OC apparently, who dis?

23. Do they have a good memory? Short term or long term? Are they good with names? Or faces?

Good memory, able to recall easily no matter how far back she has to go. Probably better with names as she didn’t get to meet a lot of people as a kid but definitely had to learn royal lineage and the like.

24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?

Sleep at night? More like whenever they can catch a wink, they’re in the middle of a war so... I would guess light snoring, she’s that bitch that can fall asleep on anything given half the chance.

25. What do they find funny? Do they have a good sense of humour? Are they funny themselves?

I imagined her to be a very severe child. Growing up in a country at war, the banishment, and social isolation probably left her very little room to be funny, whimsical more likely but I don’t think she’s the one to turn to if a joke is needed.

26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions? 

They... smile? Loud, shrill laugher. Has a difficult time hiding her emotions as she’s quite sensitive to them in the first place.

27. What makes them sad? Do they cry regularly? Do they cry openly or hide it? What are they like they are sad?

Probably remembering the people she left behind or feeling like a failure, Growing up royalty and so close the throne in a country at war she’s grown up with the idea that she’d have to rule one day which means she internalized a lot as a youth in regards to how ‘good’ of a ruler she could be. With her banishment always hovering over her she probably cries a lot. I’m not sure if she lets other people see it?

28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?

Probably not being good enough to rule, or even to win the war. Has a more inquisitive nature than a fearful one. Though that’s subject to change as previously she was RIDDLED WITH FEAR when I first came up with her.

29. What do they do when they find out someone else’s fear? Do they tease them? Or get very over protective? 

Idk, be a good person and watch out for them I guess? Maybe, try to relate or make whatever scares the other person less scary by learning what she can about it.

30. Do they exercise? Regularly? Or only when forced? What do they act like pre-work out and post-work out?

Regularly, she’s fit af. I would think she’s very quiet before, and during any exercise as she probably views it as a good time to think. And afterwards is probably very chatty after all that thinking time logged in.

 31. Do they drink? What are they like drunk? What are they like hungover? How do they act when other people are drunk or hungover? Kind or teasing?

No drinking. She’s a Child.

32. What do they dress like? What sorta shops do they buy clothes from? Do they wear the fashion that they like? What do they wear to sleep? Do they wear makeup? What’s their hair like?

Practical clothing for most of the books. Something a little more regal in flashbacks coz royalty and all. Wear as little frills and laces as possible.

 33. What underwear do they wear? Boxers or briefs? Lacey? Comfy granny panties?

Just normal ones...?

34. What is their body type? How tall are they? Do they like their body?

SHE   T A L L. Like we’re talking 2/3m + (remember alien) and that’s in her smallest form. Roughly 10m/30ish ft in original form. She’s still counted as a child by her people so probably really gangly with added form/muscle from physical training and being on the run. Nothing too special though (y’know, aside from that monstrous height.)

35. What’s their guilty pleasure? What is their totally unguilty pleasure? 

In war there is no pleasure. Nah, she probably just enjoys having friends and people to talk to/be with after so long of being a social outcast. 

36. What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing?

I feel like I’ve already answered a similar q here... good at plaiting here and being persuasive. Likes learning about politics and playing with animals, going for walks and swimming especially if fish are involved. Can sing in her own native tongue but it’s an alien form to her new friends so they're not very appreciative.37. Do they like to read? Are they a fast or slow reader? Do they like poetry? Fictional or non fiction?

Reads non-fiction only for learning, fast at it. Doesn’t know what poetry is.

38. What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?

She admires people who are stoic yet caring. People who show good leadership characteristics and loyalty. She wishes she was able to care as much as other people seem to about the people in their lives. 

39. Do they like letters? Or prefer emails/messaging? 

Letters are about the only thing this worlds technology has atm so...

40. Do they like energy drinks? Coffee? Sugary food? Or can they naturally stay awake and alert?

No processed goods here. She’s just a health god.

41. What’s their sexuality? What do they find attractive? Physically and mentally? What do they like/need in a relationship?

Hmmm... It’s not really explored in depth, romance isn’t a main plot point for her and she has a lot of other things on her mind but I always had her as bisexual. Reckon she goes for quiet people to balance her out and just coz she’s naturally drawn to them. Probably prefers someone who can keep up mentally and physically but not go on too far ahead of her, an equals type of thing? Needs support, she needs someone who can back her up without question but also needs someone who has a calming effect on her.

42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?

To bring peace. She’d sacrifice everyone and everything, including herself to get it.

43. Are they religious? What do they think of religion? What do they think of religious people? What do they think of non religious people?

I haven’t actually thought about whether or not her people had a religion or even if she had any. I do have characters that bring up theirs and she’s interested in learning from them. I don’t think this hard about her tbh xD I am a terrible writer.

44. What is their favourite season? Type of weather? Are they good in the cold or the heat? What weather do they complain in the most? 

Probably spring. Likes that warm in the sun and cold in the shade type bullshit. All them new flowers and baby animals would just fill her heart to burst. Better in cooler weather as her people are nocturnal so they deal with night temperatures.

45. How do other people see them? Is it similar to how they see themselves?

Some would view her as a good leader, persuasive and relatable. Caring of even the littlest guy. But those close to her would view her as mysterious/hard to understand/keep up with. She views herself as too sensitive and niave about most situations. She’ s spends a lot of this book in the dark and so doesn’t view herself very highly in terms of intelligence. Views herself as physically strong.

46. Do they make a good first impression? Does their first impression reflect them accurately? How do they introduce themselves?

Gives off a very judge-y type of impression. Will openly assess people on first meeting them. Quite accurate she is very judgemental in the beginning of her story. Usually on first meeting people she’s either trying to scare or persuade them into submission so... not the friendliest on the block.

47. How do they act in a formal occasion? What do they think of black tie wear? Do they enjoy fancy parties and love to chit chat or loathe the whole event?

Can act very regal as she was taught, but finds such an act/conduct difficult the older she gets. Likes dressing fancy. She’s curious about social events as they’re so rare for her so she probably enjoys them.

48. Do they enjoy any parties? If so what kind? Do they organise the party or just turn up? How do they act? What if they didn’t want to go but were dragged along by a friend? 

Has never really been to one. Has been dragged to a type of party, just went with the flow.

49. What is their most valued object? Are they sentimental? Is there something they have to take everywhere with them?

I don’t know as that she keeps any object on her constantly, for security or sentimentality. She’s kind of a wanderer but she loved her armours forearm cuffs.

50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials?

Food, spare clothes and a weapon.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #200

tw for abuse.

If you’re pale, do you get made fun of for it? No. Are you white/black/asian/mexican/etc? White. Ever been to Washington D.C.? Did you get to meet the president of the time? I've driven very close to it, but no. Ever been to NYC Or LA? If so, how were your experiences there? No. Were you adopted? If so, have you met your biological parents? How about biological siblings or grandparents? N/A Ever had an abusive parent or other family member? If so, what’s the worst they did? No, thank Christ. Are either of your parents engaged but not married yet? No. Do you like older or younger siblings better? I have both, but. Hypothetically, if I had to choose one in general (not picking between my real sisters), probably younger. Ever had to take care of a baby sibling? If do, did you feel responsible, or were you just annoyed? No. We're 2-3 years apart, so there's never been a situation like that. Have you ever had a close friend get knocked up early? Can we not say "knocked up." No. Do you prefer baby boys or baby girls? I mean it depends on the kid, but I believe boys have less of an attitude. Are you one of those losers that buys things with the letter of your name? Well they're not "losers?" But whatever, no. I don't see the appeal at all. Have you done any form of martial arts? If so, what? If not and you want to, which one(s)? No, but I'd like to learn some form of self-defense. Would you be willing to let someone you know die if it means you can save an entire village? Lol this is such a Life Is Strange question, don't do this to my emotions. It depends on the person. If you were to write a letter to your future self, what would you say? Something about absolutely never giving up, regardless of the struggle. What are your thoughts on cults? Do you know anyone who has joined one? To my understanding, not all cults are bad... I think. If there are harmless ones, go for it, dude. Whatever you wanna believe. I knew a guy back in school who created one. What is a character trope that you really dislike? (For example, the Manic Pixie Dream Girl) The bitchy, germaphobe priss. Are you a fan of steampunk? If you don’t know what it is, would it be something you’d be interested in looking into? Hell yeah. What was the first job that you ever held? Do you remember how much you were paid (if you’re comfortable sharing)? Sales associate at GameStop. Idr. Would you say that you’re good at understanding people with accents (especially those who don’t have standard Anglo ones)? Most, save for severely southern. And I live where that accent is commonplace. How do you feel about anarchy? Let's not. Society would crumble in days. If you have any, who’s your favorite music artist from the 1970s? Probably Van Halen, but ugh, I love SO MANY metal/rock bands from that era. Do you think travelling is something that every young person should do to gain life experience? I'd say so. See that the world is more complex and varied than you'd think. When was the last time you listened to new music? I've been listening to new In This Moment songs periodically. Listened to "Blood" a few days ago. What word spelled out looks weird to you? Oh, I'm sure there's plenty. Do you require “closure” after things like break-ups or do you move on easily? I've only had one serious break-up, and I didn't even begin recovery until we had our final conversation over a year later that helped me reach closure. Is there a genre of movie that you just can’t watch? Musicals. Do they count as a genre? What was the last song to give you nostalgia? Hm... I"m blanking. But I know something did pretty recently. Have you ever had a conversation with a cab driver? Never been in a cab. Do you have any shirts from vacation/tourist locations? From beaches, which I never wear. I've only received them as gifts. What is one place you would like to go back and revisit? Chicago. Which would you prefer: a homemade gift, or a store-bought one? Homemade mean more to me usually, but as a gift, it obviously depends on what it is. When was the last time you were “under the influence?” I last drank uhhhh. I think at Sara's when her dad almost made me an alcoholic because holy FUCK bartending skills Jesus fucking Christ. How regular of an occurrence is this? Very rare. Have you ever had a relationship last for a year or longer? Twice now. What ended it, or are you still involved? We know the Jason story; Sara and I are still together. What’s the best time you’ve had at a high school sports game? Ugh, I never had a good time. I was just forced to go because Ashley was a cheerleader. If you’re out late, where are you likely to be? I couldn't even try to tell you the last time I was out late. Do you ever visit your mall’s arcade (if it has one)? Ours doesn't have one. Shirts with sarcastic sayings: yay, or boo? Yay. If “yay,” do you have a favorite? Bring Happy Bunny BACK TO THE FOREFRONT OF SOCIETY. If you lost the use of your limbs, would you still want to live? Eh, if it was just one leg, sure. What’s your absolute favorite topic to discuss? Weeps Markimoo. What is your least favorite topic to discuss? Politics and economics. When was the last time you played hide-and-go-seek? I played with my niece and nephew a few months back. They always hid in the same spots, lmao, but of course you gotta go along with kids, so I could "never find them." Where was your favorite place to hide? As a kid, I aaalways climbed into the toy box. Do you have a library card? Do you use it? No. Do you cuddle with your pet (if you have one)? Yup. What college did you want to attend as a kid? NC State. Was that still your choice when you grew up? Well, it didn't have the major I chose back then, but now that it does, that's probably where I'm transferring too after I get my pre-requisites. What sports star or athlete did you aspire to be like as a kid? None. How many colleges did you attend? Two so far. Going to a new one when I get my goddamn transcript from my cesspit that is my last school. Why did you choose the shirt you have on now? It's just a plain, gray tank. I wear tank tops to bed. Is marriage overrated? No? At this point in your life would you want to start a new career? I haven't even begun a career yet. Growing up what were your favorite cartoon characters? OKAY SO EMBARRASSING SECRET I'VE LITERALLY NEVER REVEALED. I was crazy for Ash Ketchum, and when I was young, I added daily to a story I wrote about being a Pokemon trainer; I didn't have Pokemon games because I was too embarrassed to ask back then, so I resorted to making it up. I filled up literally 3+ journals. Back to the main topic, far into that story, Ash became my boyfriend lmfao. Oh man, just answering this brings back such cute memories. Charmander-Charizard was my best friend and look it was just cute okay. What do you think has changed about you since you were a teenager? I'm way shyer. Looking back at high school were they the best years of your life? No. Were you the type of kid you’d want your children to hang out with? Yeah sure, I was genuinely a good kid. Do you look like your mom? Some say. When was the last time you overslept? I can't oversleep when I never have shit to do. What would you do if you could do anything without failing? Skydive, maybe? Do you use your phone as an alarm? If I need an alarm for whatever reason. What country do you live in? The United States. What is your native language? English. If you could meet any famous person (dead or alive) who would you meet? Take a guess. Do you have any piercings? Eight. Do you judge people that have multiple piercings? Fuck off. Do you dress up on Halloween? I WISH I could. I can't afford to buy shit to throw together as an outfit, nor do I do anything special that day, so. It's just a waste of time, save for taking a picture. Do you watch the Olympics? No. Do you like orange juice? So long there's not pulp in it. Have you read the Bible? Very little of it. Do you have a pet gecko? No. Are you scared of reptiles? Not at all. Have you ever seen the show 16 and Pregnant? Take that shit off television. No. Do you like cinnamon on your apple pie? I hate pie. Do you clap or cheer when at a concert? Well duh. Do you use a comb or brush? A comb. Do you eat the crust of your sandwiches? That's what I eat first since with food, I'm always the type that saves the best for last, and while I don't mind it at all, crust is the "worst" part. When you were younger, did you ever do that exclamation point that looked like an upside down triangle and had a really big dot? No. What are you listening to right now? "Whore" by In This Moment. Honestly, have you ever eaten raw cookie dough? Hell yeah I have, don't even @ me, salmonella. Name a city that starts with A in your state/province etc. Asheville. Name a landmark that starts with M in your state/province etc. Idk. When was the last time you gave a horse a carrot? Boy, I have no clue. Have you ever had to shovel snow? No. What mountain ranges have you seen? Appalachian. Where would you most like to go in your state, etc that you haven’t been? THE ABANDONED WIZARD OF OZ-THEMED PARK. Deadass might get married there, jc. Has a wild animal ever been loose in your house? Mice. What do you like the songs you listen to to be about? I'm big on things dark-themed, especially in like some fantasy or hypothetical situation, or covering sensitive topics in a beautiful way. When was the last time you said ‘yay’? Yesterday when Sara updated me on her weight ahhhHHHHHHH she's getting closer and closer to a healthy one. Would you be a newscaster and speak to everyone in a hurricane? Hell no. Have you ever seen or touched an iceberg? No. Do you use a toaster or toaster oven? Oven. Who was the last member of the opposite sex you laid in a bed with? I think Girt when we were watching TV one day in Nicole's room. Would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler? Rottweiler! Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex? Yeah. Where was the last place you stayed over? Sara's. Do you know anyone that owns horses? Not well. Think back to the last time (or a time) when you were in a fight with someone and just blurted out exactly what was on your mind. Did you somewhat regret saying what you said? What happened? When Mom hit me for a completely uncalled-for reason (I can't actually remember what it was, other than it was stupid as hell) last year, I said, "Oh, I can't wait to tell Alyssa (therapist) about this one," and she didn't reply or say another word to me for like hours, maybe not even that night. No, honestly, I don't regret it. You don't slap your fucking kid. Towards the end of your last relationship, how did you know it was over? How did you and your significant other change towards each other? (ex. not calling each other babe, baby, etc.) I wasn't opening up to him any further after four months, and I just didn't feel a romantic connection. I wasn't comfortable. We didn't change much, really, just that we no longer hold hands and he doesn't kiss me obviously. We went back to exactly how we were before, thankfully. Have you ever had a significant other NOT believe you when you said “i love you” to them? Why was that? How did you react? No. Do opposites really attract? Have you ever experienced this? Explain. Sure, for some people. I've never been too attracted to someone too different from me. Has anyone close to you ever drifted away because they started hanging out with a new crowd? Did you try talking to them about it? What eventually happened? Story. Of my goddamn. Life. And only one, my former best friend. Just last year I finally reached out to her, and I guess we're "friends," buuut she only talks to me on her watch. I won't get into that. Have you ever found yourself heading on the wrong path? What happened? Probably, but idr. When did you last not feel accepted? Why did you feel that way? Ha, I'm sure recently. I just about always feel like that. Has anyone had to take your drink from you because you were drinking too much? How did you react? No. What’s your opinion on the world relying on technology too much and not paying enough attention to natural resources? Eek, there're positives and negatives. I totally believe it's possible someday for the singularity to happen, yet at the same time, technology is an almost perfect approach to many tasks, menial or complicated. Have you ever felt like it was just pointless to cry? Did you hold yourself back from crying or did you let it out? Sure, probably. I usually hold it back, typically far more frequently than I should, although on most occasions, crying just doesn't come. I just get a tight jaw and everything. Have you ever had a love/hate relationship with someone? Tell me about it. Meh, Colleen many times. I'm not delving into that story again. Has your pride ever gotten in the way of admitting that you felt weak or were in pain? How so? No. Whose lies have affected you the most? Jason's, although I'll give him enough credit that at the time of making them, he probably meant most/all of them. But they were still lies and broken promises. Have you ever dreamt in another language? No. Who was the last person you met and instantly liked? What about the last person you met who you immediately disliked or got bad vibes from? Hm. Oh, the girl who was in VR class with me. She loved my tattoo, so that sparked a brief convo, and she had awesome ones too. In class, she was funny and relatable and just in general had a very approachable personality. I wanted to talk more to her, but. Shyness and anxiety. ;_; For the other half of the question, I'm uncertain. I'm sure it was some man with my paranoia and distrust. What’s the most interesting news you read or received recently? What about the most depressing? I don't pay much attention to the news unless I just scroll past something on Facebook... and nothing's really coming to me. Ah, checked my FB real quick and I recently shared something about this crow couple that have been together for 12 years; the female has a broken beak, and her mate always feeds her. The most depressing was certainly a dog that was left out in the snow up north, and he was found dead and pretty much frozen in his doghouse. Pretty sure the owner was arrested. Thank fuck for the new law regarding pets being out in the cold. Would you let politics get in the way of a relationship? It would have to be a SERIOUS difference on a major matter that revealed deep, core beliefs. What is one thing someone could say that would automatically make you distrustful of them? I wouldn't mention you have a criminal record around me. I don't care what for unless it was seriously bullshit. What is one way in which you need to learn to control yourself? I need to STOP jumping to conclusions and becoming super defensive when I feel I'm in serious danger of being hurt emotionally. Do you have any friends who are on and off with bfs/gfs all the time? No. When was the last time you almost cried out of exhaustion? It was that and embarrassment. When I was at the airport to go home after visiting Sara, I fucked up in understanding the gate shit, carried my heavy bag ALL the way to the end, ALL the way back to the beginning, and then ALL THE FUCKING WAY BACK when I found the screen that told me my gate. At this same time, my knees were in awful condition and of course the sweating situation was goddamn humiliating. I'm very, very surprised no one asked if I was okay; I can only imagine how contorted and pained my face was, aaaand yay excessive sweating, I was literally soaked. I was very close to crying that day. What's a TV show you hate missing? None. The only situation where I'd be like that is if Meerkat Manor returned. What's a movie/book/TV show/band/whatever you highly recommend? Movie: Forrest Gump; book: Johnny Got His Gun; TV show: The Good Doctor; band: Otep is too underrated. Who taught you to tie your shoelaces? Dad first taught me the "wrong" way, then Mom corrected me in how you should properly do it. What's your favorite picture of yourself as a child? *shrugs* What is something people are surprised to hear about you? I've been told by many people that they're surprised to learn I have just about debilitating social anxiety. I always think I cover it awfully, but apparently I've adapted well enough to it that I can fake comfort decently, I suppose. What was the last bug you saw? Probably a fly, idk. Are there any people you know in real life that you only talk to online? Not off the top of my head... Is it cruel to keep a dog in a cage or tied up most of the time? No shit. About what things are you most selfish? Alone time. I need it. Are you camera shy? Why/why not? Yes, because odds are I will look like a blobfish out of water trying to smile but only succeeding in looking seriously high. What is the worst thing a former boyfriend/girlfriend has done to you? Dropped me like a boulder into a canyon and dashed off with zero intent of breaking up even nearly appropriately. Was anyone rude to you today (or yesterday, if you’re taking this early)? No. What was your favorite sleepover game? *shrugs* Have you ever swore in church? Possibly? Do you have memories from preschool? Some, yeah. Particularly of Christopher and some boy whose name I can't remember being pretty much obsessed with me and always chasing me in recess to hug the fuck out of me and apparently the other boy got in trouble all the time for trying to kiss me. Kinda recently in therapy we dug into my extreme fear of men, people being behind me, and rape (it's too a seriously unrealistic degree), and we think this mighta just been what sparked those fears so early. I also remember I was talkative at nap time, I brought the movie Antz for us to watch and everyone hated it, and I once brought my Snorlax plushy for show-and-tell. I remember making a gingerbread man tree ornament, too. Do you celebrate Earth Day? No, I never really know what to do. :/ I'd love to do even little things like pick up litter, but walking here is pretty dangerous, and we're also in a spot where you' seldom see anything. What is your least favorite thing about your full name? I hate my last name. What’s your favorite kind of Poptart? The chocolate sundae one or whatever it's called? What was the last thing you used sliced bread to make? A sandwich. What does your room look like when you sleep? Still kinda bright with Venus' and Kaiju's lights, Roman is usually in here with me, and Teddy is sometimes. Are your fingers long, or short? Mom always tells me I have Grammy's "long piano fingers." *shrug Do you like your grandparents? She reeeaaally gets under my skin a lot of times, but yeah. Do you like to fly on planes? If I'm at the window seat. What brand name do you think is just way over the top expensive? I'unno, lots. PLENTY of designer clothes shit, though. Like the fuck, most of those things I see are hideous. Do you find it hard to concentrate in really loud places? Yup. Do you tend to get more sleep on the weekends the during the week? They're the same for me. Are you comfortable talking to strangers? No. What’s the most boring game to exist? Why do you dislike it so much? I mean idk. Do you mean board games, card games, video games? I can tell you right off the bat I'm not a card game fan, almost ever. Do you lie about not having extra pens, so you don’t have to lend them? I don't believe I ever did. What’s your favorite YouTube video? What’s it about? Oh boy, I couldn't tell you. Do you get nervous when you’re about to get a haircut? No. What do you do to pass the time when you’re waiting for something? Mess around on my phone. Whenever you take pictures, do they always end up posted on Facebook? No. Can you name something that makes you feel nostalgic from each of the following: a scent, a sight, a sound, a taste, and a feeling? Breakfast cooking (scent), tobacco fields (sight), whippoorwills (sound), those smiley face french fries (taste), excitement (feeling). What is one small thing your significant other does that makes you happy? If you are single, what is one small thing a friend does to make you happy? I love seeing her spaz over something cute lmao. If you could have a dollar for every time something happened, what would it be? Someone pointing out how many meds I'm on. What is something that you wish more people in your life were interested in (a topic, a hobby, etc.)? Ummm idk? What is a feel-good song that you’ve been listening to lately? Well, Epica's "Sacred & Wild" cover always pumps me up a bit. What are some things you enjoy seeing pictures of? m a r k, meerkats, Pyramid Head, Mom legitimately smiling/laughing, Sara with her babies... lots more. Who is somebody from your past that had a big positive impact on you? What would you say if you could speak to them right now? Two of my previous teachers. They always had life lessons to teach and not just English. Have you ever bought something recommended by an ad before? What was it, and were you happy with your purchase? I'm not sure. What is a website that you visit frequently that isn’t a form of social media? Wikis I help edit. Do you watch The Big Bang Theory? I don't watch TV, but if it's on, yeah, I enjoy it. Do you ever listen to country music? No. From inside of your house, how many doors lead outside? Two. Who is the most complicated person in your life right now? Me. Do you still wear armbands or rubber rings in the pool? No. Are you one of those people who talks to everyone when you’re out? Definitely not. What would be your ideal pet? Something very affectionate, calm, and in tuned with my emotions. Are there any websites you just don’t see the point in? I'm sure there's something. Have you got anything you’ve had since you were a baby? Stuffed animals. Mom maybe has my pacifier somewhere. Is there anyone you’re really jealous of? Envious, rather. Do you hit electronics when they don’t work? No. Do you dislike any certain group of people? Well yeah, like rapists and pedophiles. But "hate" is far more suiting. Have you ever bought anything you really wanted, only to never use it? Maybe? I never really have my own money to buy things myself. Are you scared of fireworks? No. What was the last flyer someone gave you for? No clue. Do movies/books inspire you to change your life in any way? Johnny Got His Gun furthered my will to be a pacifist. Do you read movie quotes even when you haven’t seen the movie? No? What does your favorite bag look like? It has a macabre owl/spider design. Do you customize your possessions? Not usually. What’s a smell that makes you feel ill? (besides the obvious) Gasoline will usually give me a headache if I'm dealing with it long enough. Do you get lonely easily? Yeah. Is your car older than a 2000? I don't have my own car. Where was the last place you wrote a check to/used your debit card? I don't have a debit card. Nor have I written a check. What was your favorite board game as a child? I loved Mall Madness believe that shit or not, there was a Cranium fair thing I adored, I loved Clue a lot when I was old enough to understand it, and I was crazy about this The Crocodile Hunter game too, which I've kept for nostalgia purposes, even though it's been broken for a long time. Who was the last person to give you flowers? I think Tyler. If a stranger asked you to take a picture with them what would you do? That's a big 'ole spooky nope. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Absolutely Internet. .-. How many times have you been to a museum? A handful, I guess. Would you rather be a panda or grizzly bear? A panda. Do you like BBQ sauce? Omg NO. Have you had sex in the past 3 weeks? Well, lesbian intimacy. Do you regularly experience pain in any part of your body? My knees. Did the last person you kissed ever give you a hickey? No. Do you have to see something to really believe it? No. Do you believe everyone is gifted with something? Eh, I dunno. Have you ever been busted for under age drinking? No. Tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. What is it called? What does it look like? I have a stuffed moose on my dresser named Brownie. He's all brown and lying down. What’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? Who knows. What’s your favorite myth? The one of the Jersey Devil. Have you ever used a Ouija board? I am. SO curious. But too afraid to fuck with them lmao. Are you planning on getting tattoos? Which ones? Oh, hunny. I can at least say my next one is most likely to be the Shadow of the Colossus sigil designed as if it's stamped into the ground on my left hand. Do you read comics? What are your faves? No. Do you have any apple devices? If so what have you got? An ancient iPod nano and my old iPhone. Have you ever said something that you instantly regretted? Very likely. Do you get upset when a pet fish dies? I haven't had a fish in forever, but I never really bonded with any I did have as a little kid. Are you a soprano, alto, tenor or bass? A tenor probably, or alto? Do you bruise easily? Extremely. One reason I got tested for anemia (which came back negative). Do you know anybody who is afraid of clowns? Lots of people. Have you ever seen a zebra? At a zoo. Have you ever had a rolling backpack? Yup. Then we couldn't have them in high school for whatever reason. If you could do magic, what is the first spell you would learn? Healing. Do you hang toilet paper over or under? Whichever way it just happens to be positioned in my hands when I pick it up. When do you feel the most confident? If a situation arises where my meerkat knowledge needs to be spilled lol. What makes you laugh? Unexpected but funny things destroy me the most. Then of course there're actually good jokes and/or sarcasm. What movie quotes do you use of a regular bases? None. What’s the craziest conversation you have ever eaves-dropped on? No clue. What’s the coolest animal you’ve seen in the wild? I saw a perched owl in the woods while fishing years ago; don't remember what kind, though. It was so cool though, it stared right at us while we rowed past. Also quite sure I got a quick glimpse of a mink along the distant bank while also fishing. What do you wish you knew more about? Politics, so I could actually play a knowledgeable role in it by voting in confidence and such. Do you carry hand sanitizer every where you go? Yes. Do you use your fingers to do simple math problems? Yuuuup. Do you wear foundation? Literally only if I'm trying to look my absolute best. Otherwise, god no, I hate how it feels. Do you get self conscious when wearing a bathing suit? Don't even get me started. What makes you distracted? Music, TV, talking... basically dynamic sound. Do you wear really dark eye liner? I only ever wear black. Are you a fan of Justin Bieber? No. Does your hometown have bad memories attached to it? Yeah, some. How many subscribers do you have on your YouTube channel? Idk. Does snow and ice ever got on the inside of you window panes? I don't think so? What do you do for pain? Soldier through it, take meds, use a heating pad or cold washcloth/bag of ice depending on the type of pain, try to sleep to let it hopefully pass or alleviate. What type of lotion do you use? One for dry skin. What were your favorite clothing stores in high school? Hot Topic and rue 21. Name a YouTuber whom you think acts shallow and superficial. I'm sure there's plenty, like say, the Paul brothers. Do you know anyone who has twin babies or toddlers? A woman I vaguely know through dance has twins. If so, what are their names? Idr. Would you ever want to have twins? JESUS FUCKING CHRIST NO If you could have a car in any color you wanted, which color? Burnt orange. What is your favorite Avril Lavigne song? "Nobody's Home" is still incredible. Have you ever done something and been afraid of getting caught? Yeah. Have you ever had a bedroom that had wallpaper on the walls? I think the house I grew up in had it... Would you ever hitchhike? Why or why not? No, because I don't trust strangers for shit. What color is your stapler? Black. Do you have a desk that you sit at in your room? No. Have you ever completed a weight loss program? No. What was the last thing you were mad at a doctor about? OHHHHH, THAT STORY AGAIN?????????????? Where you live, is it possible to get sunburned&frostbitten in same week? Pretty much. Is your mother a lesbian? No. Are you part Swedish? No. Are you planning to travel outside of your country in the next 6 months? I doubt in six months. Do your parents live in the same city as you? Dad doesn't, but I live with Mom. What genre of books interest you the most? Fantasy. Do any of your close friends NOT have a Facebook account? Yeah, I think. German type foods: delicious or disgusting? I don't really know their cuisine. If you had your way, what color(s) would you dye your hair? I've seen a gorgeous pastel rainbow design on short hair before, and I my GOD I want. Do you like seafood? If so, what is your favorite? If not, what is your favorite type of food? UGH no. I do, however, like shrimp. But that's it. Have you ever eaten a veggie burger? Yeah, it wasn't that bad. I had Burger King's during my vegetarian juncture. If you could master any sport, which one would you choose? Dance. If you could meet any major political figure, who would it be? What would you say to him/her? Meh. Do you play any unique instruments? No. In school, did you take any classes to learn how to play any instruments? Flute, yes. Then after I got my lip pierced, I was moved to the percussion section to learn shit in like two days. Basically, I was useless 'til I realized I could position my lip on the mouthpiece where the ring didn't affect the flow of air much. I later got to a point of taking it out for every band class, though. Idr why; instructor probably wanted me to. Did you actually pay attention in Spanish class? I didn't take Spanish. If you drink Monster, what is your favorite flavor? If you don’t drink Monster, why not? None, because it tastes like literal poison. If you had/have a Club Penguin account, how old were you when you got it? No clue. What religion/spiritual path intrigues you the most, if any? Wiccan. What ancient culture intrigues you the most, if any? I don't remember any well enough to answer here. Are/were your parents hippies? I don't believe so? Would you ever consider getting dreadlocks? Oh lort no. If you had a baby boy right now, what would his middle name(s) be? Victor or Vincent, probably. What heritage does your last name imply? Scottish. How about your middle name? French. And first? English. What is your heritage, anyway? That I know of, Irish, German, and Polish. Were your parents born in the United States? Most importantly, were you? If not, what country? Yes to both. “Happy Holidays,” “Merry Christmas,” or “Merry X-Mas?" I couldn't care less.

[grantmaloysmith]

5 Ways To Improve Your Songwriting

After spending the better part of the last 45 years writing songs, I feel like I am finally starting to get good at it. Maybe. It's a life-long pursuit: a quest, really, to reach a pinnacle that will always be out of reach. To be sure, some writers go much farther than others, but we're all human. We're all trying to get better, to write that perfect song. Here are some thoughts (in no particular order) about how you might be able to improve your songwriting.

1. Study Your Craft

Like every art form, there is a lot of craft behind songwriting. "Craft" is the combination of technique and rules - written and unwritten. It's important to know the craft part of songwriting, because it provides the foundation upon which our work of art will be built. One of the greatest songwriters in recent decades, Jimmy Webb, has a book called "Tunesmith: Inside The Art Of Songwriting" that I highly recommend. Read it. Digest it. Try some of the things that he recommends. Learn from the best examples of songwriting. Listen to "A Song For You" by Leon Russell. Play it yourself and figure out how what makes it tick.

2. Images Are Word Pills

There's a rule of thumb in country music that every line in a song should paint a picture. Every line should conjure up an image ... a memory ... a connection in the listener's heart. This is one of the best bits of advice that I ever got and it changed my songwriting for the better as soon as I started trying to do it. And it applies to all genres - not just Country.

One of the complaints I hear from my students is that they don't have enough metrical feet or spaces for words in their songs, but there's so much more that they want to say. Using images solves this problem. If you can "draw" an image with a few words, you can convey 1000 words. Images are words in pill form.

3. Make Emotional Connections

Great songs are emotional connectors. Even sad songs are compelling, especially when you're going through a rough spot in your life, because when you hear someone else's pain you know that you're not alone. When you're feeling happy and a joyful song comes on, you similarly feel like someone is sharing your bliss, and it amplifies it.

4. Don't Write the Same Song Over And Over Again

Nearly every songwriter I know gets stuck in a box from time to time, writing the same kind of song all the time. A good habit is to consider different song structures - write them down and hang this list up where you write so that you can see it. Some examples:

Write a song in AAA format. This is a very old structure where there was just an A part and it contained the title of the song either at the beginning or the end. Boring, you say? Not if you write a great one.

Write a song with no introduction. The Beatles did this a lot, coming straight in on the chorus ("Help!") or the first verse ("Hey Jude").

Write a song where the song starts with the chorus. That will focus you on the chorus for sure, because it better be good!

Write a song in a key you rarely or never use. You will find voicings and harmonizations that you wouldn't normally go to.

Write a song on a different instrument, even if you're not very good at it.

Write a song with no instrument at all. This will focus you on melody for sure. Instead of writing a melody based on the chords you're playing, you'll be forced to write a better melody that will stand better on its own. The Bee Gees used to stand in hotel stairwells (great acoustics) and sing together with no instruments. They wrote many songs that way.

Write a song about a real person or event from history. Read about them and then try to capture the essence of their life in a 4 minute song. You can't literally describe their whole life so this forces you to find the essential truth, i.e., the "hook" that describes them most efficiently. Word pills to the rescue...

If you're a woman, write a song from the male perspective (and vice versa).

Those ideas also work for those times when you have writer's block. The blank piece of paper is staring up at you, and you don't know where to begin. Now you have a place from which to start.

5. Break A Rule

If you've been studying songwriting for any length of time, you know a million "rules" that you are not supposed to break, right? Well, pick one and break it. And don't just break it: throw it to the dirt and stomp on it, then set it on fire.

But make it work. Make a great song from it. Prove that rules are meant to be broken. And don't worry, there are no songwriting police that are going to arrest you or give you a ticket for breaking a rule. All the great artists in history broke the rules of the day, and in so doing they redefined what the rules should be.

Songwriting is a never-ending quest for improvement, just like anything else that's worthwhile in life: our relationships, our health, and more.