#covinsky fanfiction

[okoye92]

Just read this little poetic nugget in a Covinsky (Lara Jean Song-Covey x Peter Kavinsky; from To All The Boys I've Loved Before) fanfiction.

With all that I've been contemplating, this just resonated with me.

For everyone out there who's struggling - with mental health, trauma, physical illness, anything really... Maybe this will resonate with you too.

And, thank you to the author (@amillionsmiles on AO3) for this.

[javajunkieao3]

Covinsky Post-Series Fic

I finally got around to watching Forever and Always, Lara Jean, so naturally my fanfic brain started working.

Synopsis:  Lara Jean and Peter reunite years after they break up when she return to Portland to help her family clear out her childhood home.    

Read it HERE!

[kissmyassloves]

Chapters: 8/? Fandom: To All the Boys I've Loved Before Series - Jenny Han, To All the Boys I've Loved Before (Movies) RPF, To All the Boys I've Loved Before (Movies) Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Peter Kavinsky/Lara Jean Song-Covey, Peter Kavinsky & Lara Jean Song-Covey, Covinsky, Peter Kavinsky & Katherine "Kitty" Song-Covey, Peter Kavinsky & Margot Song-Covey, Peter Kavinsky & Katherine “Kitty” Song-Covey & Lara Jean Song-Covey Characters: Peter Kavinsky, Peter Kavinsky's Mom, Peter Kavinsky's Dad, Lara Jean Song-Covey, Katherine "Kitty" Song-Covey, Dan Covey, Margot Song-Covey, Chris (To All the Boys I've Loved Before), Genevieve "Gen" (To All The Boys I've Loved Before), Trevor Pike, Greg Rivera, Josh Sanderson, John Ambrose McClaren Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Aged-Up Character(s), Romance, Eventual Romance, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Neighbors, Love, Falling In Love, Idiots in Love, Sex, Vaginal Sex, Smut, Fluff and Smut, Eventual Smut, Shameless Smut, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Friendship/Love, Love Confessions, True Love, Dorks in Love, Feelings, covinsky - Freeform Summary:

Lara Jean Song-Covey was not gonna let her annoying, albeit, hot as shit neighbour, walk all over her. Even though he may not actually mean to.

[purple-spring]

the fear of falling (preview)

A Covinsky one-shot. Coming soon.

...

“...I don’t think either one of us thought this was gonna go on for this long, okay? But Josh and I--”

Josh and I. Peter couldn’t hear past the dull roar in his ears. Unconsciously, his hands moved up, as if to say, stop, please, no more. In disbelief, he looked around wildly. Inwardly, he tried to talk sense into himself, but hearing her speak about them in that way, labelling them as a unit - Josh and I Josh and I Josh and I, echoing in his head like a loud, insistent chorus - was making him irrational, and he didn’t even have the presence of mind to ask himself why.

“--I think that we need to call it,” he heard her say.

What the hell? His stomach dropped. “I cannot believe you’re trying to break up with me before the ski trip.” He pushed down the logical part of himself that tried to tell him that you technically couldn’t break up a fake relationship. But he was in freefall now. “That’s in the contract!”

“Yeah, only if we’re still together.”

“We ARE still together!” He was exasperated. “You’re just trying to pull out ‘cause you’re scared.”

“What do I have to be scared about?”

Peter sighed. “You tell me, Covey.”

The silence between them stretched out, and as she looked away, seeming to struggle with what to say, how to respond, he heard his own words echoing back at him. And he realised that he could have easily spoken those words to himself. Because he was scared, too. Not of how deep or how intense this was going, or of what going on the ski trip signified for both of them...

But of losing her.

[backtothestart02]

Replacement Scrunchie - 1/1 | covinsky fanfiction

A/N: My first TATBILB fic is here! I can’t remember the last time I was this proud of my characterization the first time writing a ship. I hope you enjoy this post-movie fluff! <3

*Big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to @simplylove101!! Love you, hun! Hope this makes your day!! :D

*Many thanks to @valeriemperez for beta’ing. :)

Synopsis: Post-movie - Peter has a surprise for Lara Jean on their first official date as a couple. 

Things were great with Peter. Not just great; incredible.

Everything they did was the same. They still held hands. They went to parties. They had movie nights with Kitty. They hung out with his friends at lunch. Well, their friends now. But they also did stuff with her friends – Chris and Lucas – too. They got along with him great and vice versa.

Peter still stuck his hand in her back pocket when they walked together, and he still wrote her little notes – which she loved. She started writing him notes too, which he got a kick out of. She thought he was making fun of her at first, but when she was hanging by his locker one day, she saw they were practically pouring out of the open front pocket of his backpack and proceeded to tease him. He blushed fiercely, so she figured they were even.

The best part of all of this was that it was real. Maybe it had grown to be real before, but with all the pretending, it was hard to decipher what was real and what wasn’t. It had hurt to think about because she was falling for him, and she had figured she was supposed to assume it was all fake.

But now she knew none of it was. It felt so good to know that. Every smile, every laugh, every touch, every compliment, every grand gesture was 100% real. She never thought a real relationship could be this good. And for his sake, as well as her own, she tried not to dwell on how crushed she’d be if it all ended.

Today, that fear wasn’t even a thought in her mind. Because today was the day Peter was taking her on their first official date – just the two of them – as a couple. No younger siblings or friends or parents. And yeah, he wasn’t taking her to a fancy restaurant or the movies. In fact, they were going to a crowded mall food court, the kind where depending on the time of day, your voice either echoed throughout the entire room or you couldn’t hear yourself think.

Right now, it was happy medium. Lara Jean loved how he somehow knew when that was.

They’d finished lunch and were talking casually. Sometimes she lost her train of thought because he was holding her hands across the table, playing with her fingers; and when she met his eyes and saw his gaze so full of adoration with that little smirk at the corner of his lips, she couldn’t help but melt. Sometimes it was just hard to believe this was her new reality.

“Hey, do you think – would you mind if I just – Hold on just one second.” He held up a finger, then pressed a quick peck to her lips and scampered down the wide hall towards the little shops.

She was overwhelmed briefly by the feel of his kiss on her lips, reveling in the slight buzzing she felt whenever his lips pressed against hers. But then it was over, and she turned to look in the direction he’d gone.

“Peter! What are you-” She started to get up.

He turned around, walking backwards for a few steps.

“Stay there! I’ll be right back!” he called to her. “Just…wait.”

And then he was darting away, still walking faster than normal until he’d gone around the corner, and she could no longer see him.

Confused but reminding herself trust was key, as he’d said, she sat back down.

The next five minutes felt like torture. Finally, the sound of her own fingers drumming drumming on the table nearly drove her mad. Since she couldn’t seem to stop, she got up instead and went in the direction Peter had gone.

She came to an abrupt stop when she saw him purchase an item inside a girly store that sold, amongst other things, hair accessories, jewelry, hats, and purses.

Watching him quizzically as he thanked the cashier, she gave him a judgy look when he walked out of the store and found her staring straight at him.

“Do I wanna know?” she asked, a smirk now tugging at her lips.

He laughed. “I can explain.”

“Really,” she deadpanned but smiled because the hopeless-slash-dreamy look on his face was always her undoing. “I’m listening.”

He handed the little white plastic bag over to her.

“Here.” She took it hesitantly, glancing at it suspiciously, until she heard him laugh. “Just look inside already, would you?”

She met his eyes. “It’s for me?”

He rolled his eyes and closed the distance between them, putting his hands on her hands.

“Yes. Now look inside, Covey, before I do it for you.”

She obliged him, opening the bag further and reaching in to grab the item he’d purchased. She gasped softly when she felt what it was, then pulled it out of the bag to look at it in the light and proceeded to be further spellbound.

Once she could tear her eyes away, she looked up at Peter, who looked to be holding his breath waiting for her reaction.

“Is this…?”

“Do you hate it?” he asked, wincing.

“What?” she asked, startled. “No, I love it.” She slipped it onto her wrist to use for later and turned her arm around to view it at different angles. “It’s got at least five colors, and it’s really sparkly and stretchy, and-”

“So, you like it,” he concluded.

She laughed, then let her hand fall to her side as she took in his serious expression, sobering immediately.

“Wait, is this-”

“I just…I felt really awful about what happened to the last one.”

She tilted her head to the side.

“Your favorite scrunchie from before,” he reminded her.

The memory of Gen waving said scrunchie in front of her face after the ski trip flashed before her mind. She remembered how hurt she’d been, especially when Gen told her that Peter had given it to her. Accompanied by the admission that he’d been to her room the night before, it had proven too much. In the end she’d concluded Gen must’ve stolen it. If one part of her story was false, there was a good chance the other part was too, she reasoned.

“Right,” she said, forcing herself to focus on what he was saying. She had a bad feeling about what was coming, but she told herself not to jump to conclusions. “I thought she was lying.” She paused. “I mean, after…you know.”

She avoided eye contact, unsure if she was referring to the locker incident or about him telling her he was in love with her after she told him she liked him – and not in a fake way.

She got butterflies thinking about that second one.

“The thing is…” He took her hands in his again. “I did give Gen your scrunchie.”

Her brows furrowed, a little bit of hurt surfacing, though not as much as she expected to.

“You did?”

“Yeah.” He nodded, then swallowed, nervous in a way she hadn’t seen him since they got together for real on the lacrosse field. “At the first party you and I went to together.”

Her heart nearly stopped. She’d assumed at the ski trip, but it had been even farther back than that. The hurt and building anger she was trying to stomp down on was briefly stilled when she realized she hadn’t thought to wonder where it was during all that time.

“Gen followed me into the bathroom, and she was…bothering me.”

Lara Jean blinked.

That was way early on. Gen was a bother to him back when he was trying to win her back?

“So you gave her my scrunchie?” she asked, confused. That didn’t make sense.

He shrugged. “She asked for it, and I wanted to get her off my back. I asked for it back, but she wouldn’t give it to me, and honestly I just wanted her to leave me alone, so I let her keep it.” He finally met her eyes again. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m confused,” she said, hurt and anger completely gone. “How could Gen have been annoying to you when you were trying to win her back? Make her jealous? Wasn’t that the point?”

“It was.” His brows furrowed. Now he appeared to be confused. “I guess I was enjoying being with you. I didn’t like that she was interrupting that…or what she was saying about us.”

She wondered for a beat what Gen had said but then decided it didn’t matter. She intertwined her fingers with his and looked up at him with a smile on her face.

“So you decided to buy me a new scrunchie and hoped that would make it all better?”

He winced. “Does it?”

She closed her eyes and tilted her head up for his kiss. After a moment’s hesitation, he leaned down to press his lips to hers.

“I feel like it has to if you’re letting me kiss you,” he said.

She laughed and opened her eyes.

“After everything that happened, Peter…it just feels like…I mean, it’s just a scrunchie, right?”

His lips parted, clearly startled by this turn of events.

“So, you’re not mad,” he said.

“I’m glad you told me what happened,” she said. “I am really, really glad you told me it happened actually.” A beaming smile started to spread across her face. Infectious as it was, it spread to his.

“Oh, yeah, why’s that?”

“Because. It means you were starting to like me really early on.”

“Well…yeah,” he said, as if it should be obvious.

“I thought it was just me,” she admitted.

He sighed softly, then ran his hands up her arms, cupping her face.

“Oh, Lara Jean…” and kissed her again, this time longer.

“You didn’t need to get me a new scrunchie, Peter,” she said after they’d parted.

“No?”

“Mm-mm.”

“I can take it back,” he teased, lowering his hand to wear it was scrunched around her wrist.

“Ah-ah-ah.” She pulled back. “It’s my scrunchie now.”

He laughed and followed her the two steps she’s gone.

“Well, technically I paid for it.”

“It was a gift!” she said, squealing when he pinned her against the railing and then lowered his head so they were almost touching.

“If you say so,” he murmured and kissed her again.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him some more, till a couple guys walking by whistled at them and they broke away. Peter rolled his eyes and laced his fingers through hers.

“Come on, let’s get out of here.”

She beamed, a little skip to her step as she followed him.

“Okay.”

Her voice was soft and bright, making him turn to look at her.

“What?” she asked, feeling the heat spread across her cheeks at the look in his eyes.

“You’re cute, Lara Jean.”

Her heart beat wildly inside her chest. She was beside him a second later, despite his long strides.

“You’re charming, Peter Kavinsky.”

He grinned and squeezed her hand tighter.

“I love you.”

It was so casual the way he said it. She wondered how three such important words strung together could ever be casual, but he made it work.

He met her eyes, but there was no pressure there. He didn’t need her to say it back. He knew she would say it when she was ready.

They reached the escalator a while later, and he surprised her by swinging her around and piggybacking her down the moving stairs.

“Peter!” she squealed, holding on for dear life as he laughed cheerfully. His laugh was intoxicating to listen to.

When they reached the bottom, he set her down and looked at her with the most swoon-worthy heart eyes she’d ever seen. She couldn’t help wondering for the hundredth time how she had gotten so lucky.

I love you, Peter Kavinsky.

Soon, she would say it.

*Also posted on AO3 and FFnet.

[m11leven]

It's @elliehops 's birthday today! So I wrote this lil covinsky thang for you hun, hope ya like it babe <333 happy birthday! Here you go :

There's no one like you, Peter Kavinsky

Description : Peter's side of some of his and Lara Jean's defining moments. (Aka things from Peter's perspective)

Just a short lil drabble that I wasn't going to post but oh well, here I am.

Disclaimer! : I don't own any of these characters, because let's face it. If Peter Kavinsky were my creation I would be so much better off.

------- ’-,

To Peter Kavinsky, Lara Jean Song Covey was a mystery. A gorgeous mystery.

In seventh grade they'd kissed. Ok, it was spin the bottle and yes, he knew that Gen was supposed to be the one he wanted to kiss and all that but the girl he really wanted to kiss was Lara Jean. He didn't know is what it was but he'd always liked her, she'd been in the back of his mind. He wasn't always aware of her but she remained present throughout his middle school experience.

Then enter high school and they're in two completely different friend groups and any hope there was left for them to ever be had gone from some to none. He started dating Gen. Even though this meant that he couldn't actively seek out Lara Jean's company, he could still think about it. Right? Well…. Apparently he can't. (See our friend Gen here found his book.

“Lara Jean Covey? Seriously? She has a bigger section than I do?” Gen said furiously, holding the book in her hand. )

What book, you may ask?

Long story short ; Lara Jean was the second girl in his book.

Let me explain.

Just like Lara Jean had her letters, Peter had his book, each girl got one or two sentences written about her. Except for Lara Jean. She had twelve pages. So far.

(Gen had about a third of a page filled. All it said was : kind of a bitch, but a great kisser)

Right now Peter doesn't talk to Lara Jean an awful lot. He mostly just apologises for Gen's (terrible) behavior towards her and Chris. He didn't really get why Gen was so mean to Lara Jean, to anyone really.

When he went to apologize to her, (he was actually pretty impressed with her outfit, it was hot) it was like he noticed her for the first time in years.

She was wearing these really cool boots and all, he really liked them. He loved Lara Jean's fashion sense. She definitely had a better one than Gen, that's for sure. Gen was still wearing UGGs.

Even though he was dating her and people seemed to think he was stupid, he wasn't stupid enough not to see how mean, self centered and straight up rude she was to well, everyone.

-

When he received the “love letter” from Lara Jean he couldn't believe that it was real. She'd always be an afterthought, the one girl he'd never have.

But now that he knew, well…. He didn't know what to do.

When he confronted her about it, she passed out. Then she kissed him.

Of course he was taken by surprise, Lara Jean was kissing him! He didn't know how to react at first and then when he had realized what he had to do, well… the moment was over. And she ran away.

-

The third time they kiss is on the lacrosse field. This time he kisses her. Even though it's fake, he still feels a whole lot more than he ever has with any other girl.

When he kisses her in the hot tub, his entire body feels like it's on fire. This is definitely real. They're not fake anything at this point.

“There’s no one like you, Covey”, she's soft and sweet and beautiful and most importantly she's real. She's just Lara Jean and he's just Peter.

So he decides that Gen is over. Well, he'd realized some time ago that she wasn't it for him anymore. Maybe she'd never been.

It's been a couple months and Peter kavinsky and Lara Jean are dating. Finally. It's real this time. No fake dating, no Gen.

“Hey, you know that song you're always listening to?” Peter says one day while they're studying. “Which one?”

“the lauv one” , why does she make him so nervous? “Just wanted to tell you that I like me better right now.” Lara Jean looked up from her book and into his eyes, golden specks clear as day from where she was sitting. “And why is that?” , she moved closer, “Because I'm with you”

Lara Jean Covey is Peter Kavinsky’s girlfriend. She's his girl and as long as she'll have him he's hers.

A/n : I love them, so much definitely going to write better, longer pieces on them. Ya know ones that actually make sense :)

[queenie-004]

If you were a fan of invisible string the Covinsky fic I wrote in Fall 2020 then there's a Valentine's surprise for you in the form of a new holiday themed chapter that gives a peek at what this legal power couple are up to (hint, it's smutty!)

chapters 1-11: A decade after a traumatic college break-up, Lara Jean and Peter find themselves at the same professional event where over the course of a week they try to sort out their past and carefully step around what's in their present.

chapter 12: now you hang from my lips an outfit, a valentine surprise, a happy couple **New!**

[wroteathingtoday]

Fandom: TATBILB

Title: Lucky For you, That's That I Like

Summary: (Sequel to Write It Down) PK + LJ explore what they like.

Please note there is an OBVIOUS lack of plot, ok? This is literally just our faves exploring what they like. That's it. No plot. Rated M for reasons. You’ve been warned. (Please be 18+)

Rating: M

Link: AO3

Teaser:

“Shh,” she said, putting her finger to her lips, taking the few steps to meet him.

“Are you trying to get caught?” he asked, pushing her between him and the lockers. Hiding her with his bigger frame. At that moment more than ever, he was happy she was so small.

[ragged-t1ger]

A pic in need of a fic. Goddamn.

[pichitinha]

wow fully broken by the latest chapter of back to you

[abigneignenn]

To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before Aesthetic: Peter Grant Kavinsky

Let’s do it fucking for real, Lara Jean. Let’s go all in. No more contract. No more safety net. You can break my heart. Do whatever you want with it.

@jennyhan

See also: Lara Jean Covey / Peter Kavinsky (Bonus) / Covinsky

[javajunkieao3]

New Covinsky Fic: Expect The Unexpected

Summary:  Lara Jean and Peter only fake date in high school.  Nearly ten years after graduation, Lara Jean and Peter sleep together.  When he doesn’t call after, she plans to forget him.  But, certain circumstances make that difficult.

Read it HERE.

[fandommmlove]

A little more to Always and Forever by Jenny Han, Fan Fiction.

[amillionsmiles]

A sampling of the letters Peter wrote LJ while they're apart during college

A/N: I see you and I raise you this: not just letters but care packages

“Oh my god.” Marcie stops in the doorway, shrugging off her messenger bag and taking off her shoes.  I can’t help smiling.  When I first moved into my dorm room at UNC, I wasn’t sure what to expect from my roommate, and I thought she might think some of my requests were weird, but Marcie has been more than just an accommodating roommate these past two months.  She’s been a real friend.

“Did a craft store throw up in here?”

“Very funny,” I say, though it comes out as more of a mumble because of the ribbon in my mouth.  Frowning, I take the jar of fruitcake cookie mix out of the box in front of me, shoving a pack of highlighters and pens in its place instead.

My bed is a mess of scrapbook paper and confetti.  I’m going to have a hard time picking some of these pieces out of my sheets later; in hindsight, I probably should have used my desk.

“I’m sending a care package to Peter,” I explain.  Hm. Maybe I should put the blue and orange scarf I knit for him on the bottom, so that it’s covered by everything else—that would make it more of a surprise.  I take everything out and start over.

Flopping backwards onto her bed, Marcie makes a gagging noise, but I know she’s only joking.  She met Peter when he visited two weeks ago, and they bonded over her older brother also playing lacrosse.  Also: teasing me about my grandmotherly habits.

Rolling over onto her side, Marcie props her head up on an elbow and asks: “So what’s in it?”

“Scarf.  Deodorant.  USB power strip, cooling gel pads for after lacrosse practice…”

“Damn, Lara Jean, can you organize my life next?”

“Maybe I will! Since you can’t keep anything on your side of the room,” I say, throwing one of her own socks at her.  Laughing, Marcie catches it.

Turning back around, I slide in the last of the items, a few of the Korean sheet masks Peter and I like to do together.  Then, of course, the letter, spritzed with a bit of my perfume because the last time Peter wrote, he mentioned missing its scent.  

There’s a whole garland of letters from him that I’ve arranged on my wall, underneath the fairy lights and the pictures of Chris, Lucas, Margot and Kitty, my dad.  Peter will write a letter to Lara Jean once a week.  A real handwritten letter, not an e-mail.  He’s been remarkably steadfast about it, so far.  But then, maybe I always knew he’d be, because he’s steadfast about us.

I close the box and start taping it up.  Signed, sealed, delivered.

*.*.*.*

Dear Peter,

Hopefully this gets to you before the big lacrosse game.  But if not, then treat it like a victory package.  Or a comfort package—not that I think you’re going to lose.  You’re going to do great.

I got you face masks so that we can do them together next time we Skype.  Your favorite—cucumber and rose.  The jar should have all the dry ingredients you need for the fruitcake cookies you like.  I also made you a pack of positivity post-its since we both have tests coming up.  And then there’s a surprise at the very bottom… please be gentle with it because I spent a lot of time on it.

Love,Lara Jean

*.*.*.*

Dear Lara Jean,

I made the cookies the other day and they didn’t taste completely terrible, but yours are still better.  Thank you for the scarf.

The weather’s getting colder here and the Lawn is covered with leaves.  When you’re home for Thanksgiving we should go have a picnic on it.

Also I’ve been thinking about it since we watched Say Anything and the Spectacular Now back to back, but don’t you think that John Cusack and Miles Teller look kind of alike?  

Love, Peter

*.*.*.*

Dear Peter,

If that was your way of nicely asking me to send you already baked cookies next time, I’ll consider it if you say please.

I found the most gorgeous dress to use for my Juliet costume.  Do you still have the hairspray saved from Character Day to use for Romeo? I wish we could be together for Halloween.

You know, now that I think about it, you’re right.  Their characters are a little bit similar, too.  Say Anything wins for the iconic boombox scene, though.

Love,Lara Jean

 *.*.*.*

Dear Lara Jean,

I went to an old-school record shop the other day. Picked up something for you there.

Love,Peter

*.*.*.*

“What is it?” asks Marcie, peering over my shoulder at the slim, square package.  My heart thumps fast; I have a hunch.  Eagerly, I tear off the packaging.

The cover beams up at me: AL GREEN written in dripping green letters, his face squinting up at me, that suede and leather jacket.  We have a vinyl record player in our room—courtesy of Marcie, not me, though it’s adorable and pale blue and I’ve not-so-secretly sent a picture of it to Margot in hopes that she’ll buy one for me for Christmas.  I all but skip over to it, sliding the record out of its sleeve and gently placing the needle on top.  The first scratchy notes start up, and I love it for how it sounds: crackling, lived in, like history pressed onto a page, and I love Peter for knowing that I’d love it.

Let’s stay together, I, I’m, I’m so in love with you;whatever you want to do…

“Our song,” I explain to Marcie, beaming.

[ficsxreaderr]

Are you gonna break my heart? [2]

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Based on: To all the boys I’ve loved before.

Complete Masterlist

Part 1

Tagging is open; reblogging and feedback is welcome!

It’s been a week since you started pretending, and apparently, everyone’s buying it, including Steve. He hasn’t addressed you at all, every time you find each other in the same room, you barely talk to each other and none of you mentions your new relationship, which obviously means you haven’t talked about your precious notebook yet.

Today, once again, you’re hanging out with Bucky. You’re in his room and you’ve decided to play some music, music he missed out, while you talk about everything and anything.

“That’s...Journey, right?” He says as he rests on his bed, with his right arm beneath his head.

“Of course, I’m glad you’re learning, Barnes.” You sit on the edge of the bed, and stare at him as he beams at you for a moment.

“Get here.” He says patting twice on the mattress for you to rest beside him. You shrug and oblige, getting comfortable between his body and his metal arm, resting your head on his chest. His body feels so warm and you oddly enjoy the contrast between that warmth and the coldness of his left arm.

“You’re quite comfortable to sleep on, I didn’t know that.” You murmur, without glancing at him. He surrounds your body with his arm, pressing you against his thorax.

“The perks of having a fake boyfriend, right?” He responds almost immediately, making you chuckle in unison.

“I guess so.” You respond, but remain silent for a moment.

“Everything okay, Y/N?” Of course, everything’s fine, everything’s better than you thought it would be. You haven’t thought of Steve for a week, you haven’t felt one bit awkward around Bucky, you’ve enjoyed his presence more than you thought you would.

“You’re still...okay with this, right, Buck?”

“Of course, I am. I…enjoy your presence quite a bit and we have fun together, don’t we?” You both chuckle again, his chest rumbling against your ear, and you can’t help the idiotic instinct to start stroking his abdomen with your fingertips. His muscles feel as if they clench for a second and then they relax at your touch, welcoming it.

“We do.” You smile to yourself; and just like that, for a moment, you both forget about the world, and fall asleep in each other’s arms.  

/

You open your eyes slowly, still unable to figure out where you are and when the hell you fell asleep. In an instant you feel his body beside yours, stiff and at such peace you don’t have the courage to wake him up. His chest moves up and down slowly, you can hear his heartbeat just as slow. His left arm is firmly holding you, you almost cannot move, but you have to, so you make your best effort to move his metal hand without making a sound and hoping he won’t feel what you’re doing. Once his hand is off you, you sit up slowly, placing his hand gently over his abdomen, and you’re so amused when you see he doesn’t bat an eyelash with any of your movements. You’ve never seen Bucky so oblivious to the world, so peaceful, breathing at a pace that does nothing but warm your heart. You walk out of his room and close the door as quietly as possible, succeeding in it.

You find Tony walking down the hall the moment you close the door, and he stops for a moment and stares at you, raising an eyebrow in question.

“Oh no!” You whisper, knowing what he’s thinking. “No, we were just taking a nap and he was resting so well I didn’t want to wake him up.”

He smiles at you and gestures to his side with his head, indicating you to walk with him.

“I don’t mind, you know, you’re both adults and you know what you’re doing.” He shrugs. “But, Y/N, kid, I care about you, and I don’t…”

“Don’t what, Tony?”

“I don’t want you to get hurt.” He stops walking once you’ve gotten to the lounge and rests his body on the doorframe.

“How would I get hurt?” You ask, genuinely, knowing damn well this is all an act.

“Well, you got together not long after he broke up with Romanoff, and…I…just really hope he means what he says and does. If he doesn’t value you, someone else will.” You stay silent for a moment, trying to digest the fact that, indeed, he hadn’t broken up with Nat for a day and you were already fake dating. Maybe…it wasn’t a good idea.

“I…know, I know.” You nod. “I’m trying to do things right, we’re…taking it slow.” You lie. You’re not even taking things in any way, you can’t even kiss. You’re not worried about any of those things. Right?    

“Okay.” He nods, apparently satisfied with your answer. “If you need anything, I’ll be here. And if he hurts you…I’ll kick his ass…this time for real.” He winks at you and offers you a smile. You love the fact that Tony has automatically decided to take care of you, just like with Wanda. He sees a younger recruit and chooses to look after them, and you’re so thankful he does, he makes you feel at home here, as you belong to this place despite all the thoughts about leaving that flood your head from time to time.

“Oh I know you would.” You respond sarcastically. “Thanks a lot, Tony, if I need anything I’ll come to you.”

Tony doesn’t walk away for two seconds and you feel a hand resting on your waist, the sound it makes when it closes around your body instantly tells you who it is, and you turn around to find Bucky with rested eyes and a different glow in his face.

“Hey, I thought you were sleeping.” You beam at him.

“What were you and Stark talking about?” He frowns, knowing it was most likely about him.

“Oh, nothing, he saw me walking out of your room and he gave me the “Take care of yourself” dad talk.” You shrug, not making a big deal out of everything. He nods and bites his lower lip, clearly unsettled by what you just said. “Bucky, what is it?” You place your hand around his wrist, pressing it gently to give him some comfort.

“Nothing, doll.” His lips finally curl up in a smile, lighting up the whole room. “Sometimes I still think Stark…hates me.”

“No, don’t say that, Buck. If he hated you, you clearly wouldn’t be here. The past is gone now, things are different.” You rest your hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat still as slow as when he was asleep. “Come, we should reach the Play Station before Sam takes it as his own for the whole day.” You take his hand in yours for him to walk in the lounge with you, and Bucky doesn’t miss the beat his heart skips when your warm and soft flesh brushes against his.

/

Reading a book is always a good option for a Friday night, it’s already a routine for you. You rest on the couch, with your legs stretched out and a cozy blanket to keep you from the cold. Tony always tells you to use the electric heater, but you tell him you couldn’t replace the comfort a blanket gives you. Two weeks into your fake relationship and they’ve gone by faster than you could imagine. Nobody seems to ask questions or to have an opinion about it, which is kind of a relief for both of you, you just have to act it out when everyone’s around and that’s it.

Your book is getting pretty good, it’s getting to your favorite parts, and you love the peace that soothes your soul.

A knock on the already open door makes you look up instantly to find Steve resting against the door frame.

“Hey.” You smirk at him, and he walks in, sitting on the arm rest of the couch you’re sitting on.

“Hi.” You speak almost inaudibly; you’re afraid your heart is about to burst out of your chest. You haven’t fixed things with Steve, you’ve both been aloof, waiting for everything to stop being awkward.

His eyes reveal his concern, he needs to say so much, you know it, but he can’t quite articulate it.

“Y/N, I need to…give this back to you.” He shows you the notebook, it is intact, just as the last time you saw it. “I…can’t say I didn’t read it, it didn’t have a name on the cover and when I opened it…my name was there…”

“Steve, it’s fine.” You interrupt, your voice slightly louder now. “I don’t blame you at all, it was only my fault.” He smirks and nods, maybe a little relieved. He has felt guilty about this, thinking he invaded your privacy. You take the book from his hand, and don’t even dare open it.

“Well, in that case, I’m just glad I’m giving it back. It didn’t feel right to have it.” He shakes his head. “No one knows, no one will, for what it’s worth.”

“I know, Steve.” You nod, offering him a reassuring smile. “I know you, and…um, we will talk about this, I guess we need to.”

“We do.”

“Just…not now. I…don’t feel ready…”

“It’s okay, Y/N, take your time.  I’ll be here.” He winks at you and smiles; your heart feels at ease now, Steve’s presence and words were enough to calm you down, to know it will be alright…eventually. He stands up and walks towards the door, and stops before walking out and turns to see you. “You’re a wonderful writer, I hope to read some of your stuff someday, voluntarily, of course.” You both chuckle and he leaves the room, closing the door behind him, maybe assuming you need to be alone.

You open your notebook, to read for the millionth time all that you’ve written about him. It feels odd, not like every other time. You’ve learnt these words by heart and every time you’ve read them they’ve felt like you were falling in love all over again. But not today. It doesn’t feel familiar anymore, it doesn’t seem like it was you who wrote it.

Another knock on the door interrupts, but you doubt Steve came back to say anything; the moment the door starts opening, you see Bucky walking in cautiously. When he sees you, he smiles, and walks around the couch to sit at the end of your feet, as you bend your knees for him to be more comfortable.

“What are you reading?” He nods in the notebook’s direction, after you’ve closed it and placed it in the coffee table.

“It’s…um, the notebook…Steve just gave it back.”

“You mean the notebook? Doll, what happened?” He frowns, genuinely intrigued and maybe concerned.

“He just gave it back.” You shrug. “He said he didn’t feel okay having it, and I said we will talk about all of this some time.”

“Why didn’t you talk about it now?”

“I don’t feel it’s the time for me. I just realized there’s…stuff I need to figure out.”

“I had never seen you confused before, you always know what you want.”

“Well...there’s a first time for everything right?” You respond, making him chuckle. “How are things with Nat? Is she jealous already?”

“Ah, I guess.” He says carelessly. “Sometimes, I run into her and she has this weird look, like she wants to say something, not so nice, but she just gives me half a smile and walks away. I mean, if she broke up with me, she shouldn’t have to feel awkward, right?”

“I guess not, but she does sound a bit jealous.” You wink at him. “You’re getting where you wanted to.” The last words come out of your mouth with a bitter taste, as if you didn’t want to say them, as if they struck a nerve the second you finished talking.

He stares at you, and doesn’t even say anything, but you already know, he’s no longer thinking about Nat at the moment.

“I guess you were reading before I got here so, I’ll leave you to it.” He says standing up and walking away.

“Buck,” You call out his name as he’s about to open the door. “Please, stay. I don’t want to be alone right now.”

 At the moment, Bucky thought his mind was messing with him, because he couldn’t explain why his heart leaped up to his throat the moment you said those words, he didn’t understand why every moment he spent with you was so meaningful and real, and much less, he didn’t know why he never felt like that before...not even with Nat. He turns around and offers you a crooked smile, hoping it will hide the feelings he’s yet to figure out, feelings he didn‘t know he had, and that he’s not ready to show to you either.

“Of course, what do you want to do?” He takes his former place on the couch, and you move to sit beside him, offering him a part of your blanket. He takes his shoes off, propping his feet on the coffee table.

“How about you pick a movie? One of the oldies you love so much.” You tease him, for the billionth time about his age, earning a heartfelt laughter from him. The way he runs a hand through his hair when some strands fall on his face is always so...amusing for you, it always makes your heart skip a beat.

“Alright, fair enough, I’m old, you’ve made your point, but I got a good taste and you know it.”

“Oh, I know, James.” You reply almost sarcastically, but the way his name falls from your lips is electrifying for him, it’s like you put a spell on him every time you say his first name, no one ever uses it, except you, occasionally.

/

“Hey, Y/N, can I ask you something?” Nat asks as you’re both eating dinner in the kitchen. For some reason, everyone has decided they’re not hungry tonight, so it’s just you and her, eating left over pizza and some iced tea, sitting across the island from each other.

“Of course, anything.” You reply genuinely, knowing already it will be about Bucky.

“Did…something happen between you and Bucky while he and I were still together?” Both of you stop eating to look at each other directly, with no specific expression in your faces, but both of you know this answer needs you to look her in the eye.

“No, Nat, it never did. I can promise you that.” It’s one of the most sincere answers you’ve given anyone about this whole situation. Everyone in the compound thinks you and Bucky are so deeply in love, and every answer you’ve given has been a lie. Well, almost every answer.

“Okay…I trust you.” She nods, unable to erase that uneasy expression from her face, and you can’t blame her for it. “So you’re good? The two of you?”

“We are, we’re…taking things as they are, not too fast.” She nods once again. “Nat, you’re not…angry at me, are you? I’ve been thinking about it but haven’t dared ask.”

“Oh, no, not at all, honey.” She replies almost instantly, finally using a different tone in her voice, one that finally sounds relaxed. “I…broke up with him, remember? We’re…fine. I just…wonder what I asked you first.” You nod as you understood and continue eating your pizza, and surprisingly enough, this doesn’t feel awkward at all as you thought it would, after talking about Bucky and what happens between you two. “You look nice together, you seem to connect almost perfectly.” You and Bucky connect? What? Did Tony and her agree on telling you the exact same thing or is it really true? Is it someone everybody sees except for the both of you?

“Thanks, Nat, I…guess we do.” Is all you manage to reply, you’re not focusing anymore, short memories of your recent moments with him start flooding your head, your shared laughter, the deep conversations you’ve had, they all seem to be so perfect now...now that it is being pointed out at you because maybe you just refused to see it.  

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Tagging: @softie-barnes @flowersandvibes @stay-wokke @lilypalmer1987 @m-a-t-91 @lynnskata @ria132love @drunkinthemiddleoftheday @mybloodtypeiscoffee @frnkensteingrl @inlovewith3

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[still-i-fall]

we'd be good, we'd be great together

Fake dating is a bit like playing love interests only in real life.

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or the lara jean and peter and the celebrity au no one asked for

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