ouuugh the tags in your last post gave me an idea, childe filling in doll!reader's cracks with kintsugi!! (if you don't know, kintsugi is the art of repairing pottery using gold leaf, which accentuates the cracks and turns them into something beautiful rather than hiding them!)
*furious scribbling* people like doll reader,,,, got it,,, /lh
unfortunately, being made of fragile material means you tend to break. A LOT. at least once a week. luckily, they're usually small cracks that can be easily repaired and they don't hurt an awful lot, so you have a lot of tiny "scars" in your body even since before you met Childe. it's the bigger cracks you have to worry about, the ones that sting and spark and expose the inner cavity of your body- they need repairs from a specialist, leaving a large, jagged slash across your skin even after they're healed. you've generally made your peace with them, but even you occasionally wish you could get rid of them or spruce them up a bit- civilians tend to stare if you have a massive break on your body on display out in public, puppet nature notwithstanding
it's Foul Legacy who comes up with the idea, batting around a chunk of Cor Lapis. he likes shiny things, shiny things are pretty. you're pretty! he can use gold to line your cracks, just like Childe learned when he visited Inazuma once! well, the Harbinger is the one who actually does it, his fingers being smaller and nimbler than Legacy's claws, but the Abyssal monster supplies any gold or gemstone or rock or leaf or anything that you need. he chitters and chirps in delight when it's finished, circling you and observing you at all angles with glee. if you'll let him he'll run his talons gently over the lines of gold, purring and nuzzling his head under your chin before scooping you up, light as air. Legacy will try to make sure you don't get seriously injured- it hurts you and his heart. but he can't deny that he adores the way your cracks are lined with gold, running through your skin like gleaming sun kissed rivers
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Do you have any super into detail thoughts on kyosaya? I know you've drawn a few art pieces for the ship, but I haven't seen any written think pieces about it from you.
I know there are some who don't like to use ships as a way to tie to a characters personality, so I guess I'm curious what your overall thoughts are on it and how it ties into sayaka as a whole.
"Think pieces" is a pretty neat way to put it...The primary foundation of KyoSaya to me revolves around a uniquely sapphic relationship that I hope would be expanded upon in future shows in the series.
↑ Yet, what are all these words supposed to mean? Sayaka has always done things for the sake of others. Her sense of justice elevated to the point where she views herself as a knight, someone who kneels in the face of goodness in respect of whatever is honourable to maintain it. But a knight is just another form of a pawn, just a stronger one whom everyone perceives has the ability to: 1) protect others 2) kill The Enemy.
Sayaka used to only ever have been able to interpret this in an extreme and binary vision. If she has to defend others, she has to devote herself fully to the cause. To her, the notion of self-care and self-preservation is difficult to comprehend since she feels as though she always has to be a monolith of one singular thing, of one side of things. To her, everything is like a chessboard. There is no way to play knight for both teams at once: either you prioritise yourself, or you prioritise others.
I understand that it is also a realistic depiction of how individuals like Sayaka constantly push through their own struggles alone while always uplifting others, a demonstration of unbalanced relationship dynamics. When this vision is challenged, Sayaka does not know where and how else she is expected to just "move forward" when she realised reality is not a simple game of chess. So she shrinks her view of the world further by clashing with Kyoko, since Kyoko is The Enemy who obstructs Sayaka's own perception of all that is Good and Just. Sayaka knew she was manipulated by Cubey™, but it was not only in the later movies that she comprehended the full extent of it. Something like that feels too complicated in her mind, so it's easier, much less burdensome to just lock onto one person to be angry with. This mentality is almost a sort of fallacy for Sayaka given she becomes a Witch in every cycle she becomes a magical girl.
Sayaka wants to feel relied on by humans. Kyoko does not desire nor expect anything from people, and thus balances out the extremes of Sayaka by being detached from worldly expectations - at least, that is what's consistent with Kyoko's perception of herself. A puppet without strings. She is not a pawn, not a knight. That's why she was angry when she realised the wish-granting alien omitted information on magical girl mechanisms and their life cycles. Instead of shovelling forward headstrong like Sayaka, however, Kyoko reconsiders her childhood memories and her desire, and it was to die with Sayaka so that Sayaka would not have, in Kyoko's eyes, perished for the sake of The Greater Good, because Kyoko believes still in the Self, not the vague promise of a better future.
Uhm. It's probably nonsense now that I put it in legible words. Some other KyoSaya fans who are big brained enough should educate me more on their dynamic, but I find their relationship to be interesting. It's very fallen angel x demon coded. I feel...as though Sayaka and Kyoko are hard to separate given they exist as characters that neutralise and support each other. Perhaps not codependent, but Sayaka was unhinged enough for Homura to not threaten her once, but twice whenever Madoka's feelings are involved. Meanwhile Homura was more...tolerant of Kyoko. Kyoko is there to keep Sayaka in check to make sure she doesn't piss off the Devil to the next century, and to me that is also funny.
[Although, it is tragic that since Sayaka embodies the sea, the only way Kyoko can only be with her "in death" due to the theme of Ophelia, her lover and the flame of the witch. Who could have predicted the doomed yuri is doomed. A sinking ship, even.]
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54. At the next inconvenience I will start biting people. - feels like any of the girls... or Alex. Do with that what you will.
Oh gosh you're so right... and this seems like a great way to channel all of my almost finals week frustration...
Willie fumbles for the handle to Julie and Flynn's apartment with his hands full of pastries and drinks he snagged before he finished his shift. Hey, nothing says late-night study session like day-old muffins, right? He finally manages to get the door open and stumbles through the entrance into the kitchen/living area.
Flynn, Reggie, and Alex all look up at his entrance. Julie is still glued to her laptop, Carrie has her eyes shut as she focuses on whatever is playing in her headphones, and Luke... might be asleep.
"I come bearing sustenance," Willie says, their voice coming out a worn-out edition of their usual customer service tone. He sets the drink carriers down on the counter, then drops the bag of pastries beside them. "I make no promises about how edible and/or hot stuff still is, but better than nothing."
"Gimme," Flynn groans, making grabby hands at him from where she's sprawled on the couch, one leg in Julie's lap and the other tucked up to her chest. "But heat it up first, at the next minor inconvenience I'm going to start biting people."
"Kinky," Reggie jokes weakly from where he's sprawled out on the floor, surrounded by papers.
"Not the way I do it," Flynn growls back. "I'm about a millimeter away from egging this professor's house for all the BS she's pulled this quarter."
"Warming up the coffee, got it," Willie cuts in, grabbing Flynn's cup and heading for the microwave. "Love me some minor vandalism, but we should probably save it for after finals."
"Or like after we graduate?" Alex suggests, his pencil thumping out a soft but steady beat against the edge of his textbook. "So they can't screw you over academically?"
"She'd have to catch me first," Flynn points out.
Willie just shrugs and starts handing out drinks as the two of them banter back and forth about the best timeline in which to get revenge on their professors. Luke's goes in the fridge. Reggie downs probably half of his mocha in ten seconds. Flynn takes a long sip of her massive latte and sighs. Willie can almost feel the humanity returning to her system as the caffeine settles. Julie barely even looks up when he sets her tea down on the table. Alex takes his lemonade with a smile and a hand on Willie's wrist to pull them down for a quick kiss.
"How was work?" he asks when they separate.
"Nasty," Willie admits. "Coffee shop near campus the week before finals kind of nasty. Got yelled at by like three people."
Alex winces. "I'm sorry," he offers.
Willie shrugs. "Can't say I blame them. I'm not far off blowing my lid either with Covington's exam coming up."
"If he fails you, I'll get more eggs," Flynn states. "We can get him and mine together."
"You're amazing," Willie tells her gratefully.
"You brought me coffee," she points out.
"Point taken," they laugh.
He returns to the kitchen to grab the bag of pastries and his backpack, then settles in beside Alex, leaning back against the couch near Flynn's hip. They pop open their laptop, gratefully accepting Carrie's offer to plug in the charging cord. Alex shifts a little closer so their shoulders are brushing and Willie leans into it, letting the warmth burn off some of the stress of the day.
Finals suck, but at least they can all do the suckiness together.
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