#cs prep

[mintii-sherbet]

The rise and fall of a thieving princess ❤️👑

[midnight-mourning]

Gonna be fr with you chat, work/research this week kind of one-hit killed me, and we still have a LOT to do next week to get ready for the semester/start of the study (and I have a good bit of work to do for my thesis) I also have to finish moving & unpacking my apartment and do the final for my summer class

Tl, DR; If I get a chapter out next week it'll be at the end of the week and no sooner than that

Very much appreciate the paitence and support, hopefully we'll get back on schedule soon <3

[stuteetime]

currently reading week for me and there's so much i could be doing that i just don't have the motivation for... actually i might just make a todo list here to put in perspective what there is to do

study for stats midterm

start cs assignment 1

review calc lectures i don't understand

catch up on calc material

finish cs weekly prep for next week

catch up on 165 lectures i missed

okay wait i want to add like personal projects too

get back into drawing

try completing a storyboard

finish writing a thing for another blog

perhaps even finish writing another thing for another blog

finish my kanji anki

start working through kanji anki

[dewgongs]

hmm not much has happened these past couple days... i worked yesterday but only for a little bit i got a really easy route. and today i just cleaned up the house after waking up a bit around 1 pm. unfortunately. i think its cus i got knocked out from sex b4... i also sold more potions on roblox today . andd we played minecraft and explored that silly blue realm a bit more. and they showed me a cool fukin area that ill post soon

[hwaslayer]

wildfire (cs) | seventeen.

—spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: assistant professor in bioengineering, incredibly attractive, lonely and divorced; that’s how most people describe san. but despite the events that have happened in his life, san has a lot going for himself. he’s a successful, sought out professor due to his brilliant contributions to science at just an early age of 32. he worked hard to get where he was now; head deep into his research, his publications, building his lab and creating a name for himself. everything was good and smooth sailing— until it wasn’t. because when he meets you, a bioengineering grad student interested in rotating in his lab, he finds himself ready to risk all the blood, sweat and tears he put in throughout the years just to keep you close— his need for you spiraling out of control like a wildfire.

—pairing: asst. professor!choi san x grad student!f. reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, grad school au | fluff, angst, smut

—word count: 4.8k

—chapter content/warnings: cussing, mature language/sexually implied content, very much a filler chapter but a wholesome domestic one!, couple of small flashbacks, oral (f. & m. receiving)/34+35, doggy style, mentions of multiple orgasms, the smut is not suuuuper descriptive - just enough lol, my oh my the tables have turned!, sorry if i missed anything 😞

⇢ 1.5 YEARS LATER

You turn towards the door when you hear someone pressing your door code into the keypad. It beeps twice before the door swings open and in walks San.

"Hey baby." He kicks his shoes off with a smile, immediately coming behind you to press a kiss to the back of your head.

"Hey."

"Sorry it took longer than expected, there was an accident. It was traffic for a bit at some point."

"All good. I got a little lazy and didn't start baking until a bit ago to distract myself." 

"Baking, hm?" He chuckles, setting down the takeout bag down on your kitchen counter. "What're you baking, love?"

"I found a recipe for s'mores cookies online and it looked really good. Just the perfect sugar crash I need, especially when I'm at the hospital trying to sort through our study patients."

"Sounds delicious, actually." You finish scooping the cookie dough onto the baking sheet, sliding it into the oven to bake for about 30 minutes. You turn to San and finally give your man a quick peck on the lips before he starts to pull out the takeout containers from the bag. "To top it off, I got your favorites from the Chinese restaurant near my house. Might be a bit cold so we probably have to re-heat these."

"Thank you, Sannie."

"Anytime, baby."

The past year and a half had been nothing but busy and productive. Waves of excitement, stress and anxiety. But, you wouldn't have it any other way. At first, you questioned your transfer; but over time, as the study picked up and your projects continued to develop and produce beautiful, effective results, you found yourself slipping into a perfect routine. Feeling happier than ever, like you've finally found your niche, a spot carved just for you by the universe itself. Despite being busy himself with slowly prepping the new space with Jongho, teaching and his other lab obligations, San was always there to support you and push you forward every step of the way.

You've gotten your name on a few papers that highlighted some of the work you've contributed [especially Sunwoo's], you've agreed to do a few talks at smaller symposiums— still traveling near [and far] to participate as an attendee or presenter. Everything just feels.. right, like this was where you were meant to be despite the ups and downs it took to get you here.

—FLASHBACK

"Is she ready?" Christopher asks as he sits next to Jongho and San, rolling the symposium agenda in his hand.

"Let me slip in right there." Namjoon pops out of nowhere, squeezing himself through the row in order to sit on San's free side.

"Where'd you guys come from?" Jongho cocks a brow up as they sit, nonchalantly settling down without any question or concern.

"Outside, where else?"

"I didn't even think you two were still here. We didn't run into you guys towards the last half." San says furrowing his brows, catching a glimpse of Yunho settling on a seat in the far corner of the room alone. "Even Yunho's here?"

"Who is going to miss a joint presentation with Y/N and Qi Jaemi? Especially a presentation about tools we've used in the lab being the driving force in a clinical setting?"

"True." Chris laughs. "I'm excited to hear it." He nudges San when you come into view on stage next to Professor Qi. "All you, huh?" You probably can't see San in the crowd right now as you're getting mic'd up, but he thinks it's best you don't. His cheeks are flushed red because he's shy with his friends teasing him left and right, but yes.

That's all him, and he's fucking proud of it.

"Yeah, she is all mine."

"She's come a long way. I knew the opportunity would help her thrive. She was perfect for it." Namjoon says, tugging on his blazer.

"She might top you on the charts, bro." Jongho jokes while San nudges him.

"I don't care. Fine by me if my lady shines."

"You're so—" The lights dim, and the host is getting ready to kick off the start of the next session. It's a smaller session during this symposium; there are other big talks currently happening, some from Nobel laureates, some from highly accredited folks in the bioengineering game. But the four [along with Yunho], are sitting here to support you and your work. They've all been following your progress over time, interested to see how everything grows.

How you excel, how you blossom.

"Hi everyone, my name is Jaemi, and this is my grad student, Y/N. She's been doing fantastic work both in the lab and in the clinical setting, so I asked her to join me today to present her findings with our study patients and how we're driving some of these studies with the knowledge we've grabbed from running rodent behavior experiments in lab." Professor Qi steps out of the spotlight in order for you to introduce yourself. San's got big twinkles in his eyes, pure of love and adoration. He's so in love, he almost finds himself doing a standing ovation until Namjoon presses his hand against his chest and subtly nods.

"Keep your ass down." Jongho laughs to himself, making San click his teeth and sigh in response.

"But, that's my lady."

"So, let your lady do her thing and applaud her after she's done. You'll probably make her more nervous."

"Fine." San pouts, a small smirk creeping up on his lips the more he stares at you and watches you do your thing with Professor Qi on stage.

—END

All of this unfolded the way it was meant to.

As for San, he's been busying himself with Jongho, getting things together for their new lab space in the other building. They've already got their equipment and the layouts of each room set up, and they've slowly started to move a few of their lab members over to start collaborating and working on a new developing project they had been discussing. He plans to finally hire himself a lab manager who can help oversee his labs and help him run the day-to-day operations while he focuses on his classes and running things behind the scenes. 

San seems way happier, and you couldn't ask for more. He's definitely busier [as if he wasn't already], but he never fails to make time for you. Regardless of how exhausted he may be.

San is unwavering.

After San reheats the food, he sets everything down onto your coffee table, along with your chopsticks and a can of your favorited sweet tea [as of recently]. You plop next to your man after the cookies finish baking, setting them on a small heart-shaped plate alongside of the food. You put on the show you two had been indulging in, a show inspired by the theme of Clue and a case of 'whodunnit.' You love the show, but you mainly love watching San get worked up over his own theories. 

"So, I heard." You poke at your rice and sesame chicken before scooping up a small amount with your chopsticks.

"What?" He looks at you before returning his attention to your TV, chopsticks almost missing his mouth while he furrows his brow at the scene. 

"I heard Yunho and Iseul separated." San chuckles a bit.

"Oh, that. Yeah." San continues to eat, unbothered. Part of him is always going to wish them well and hope for the best regardless, because he's not the type of person to wish any negativity even on his worst enemy. But, he can't say he's not glad to finally see the karma come back around. All in time, he supposes. "I learned about the separation through Chris."

"Hm." You hum. "Yunho must have probably come to his senses."

"Maybe."

"Would you.. ever become friends with Yunho again?" San pauses before he shakes his head.

"Nah. We just weren't meant to be in each other's lives and I've accepted it. Hope he's good, though." You softly smile at him before laying your head on his shoulder before eating some more. "Did you hear about the other bit with Iseul?" He continues to eat, eyes trained on your TV screen.

"I just heard her papers were under investigation, but I don't know the details. Jiung and them didn't know either."

"The panel is investigating her and her lab because they're claiming there was falsified data in her some of her papers. They don't think she had anything to do with it directly, but she's still being scrutinized for not catching it and for not overseeing her lab members who worked on the project properly."

"Really?" You look at him with wide-eyes. "Did you.. ever get wind of that or get a feeling about it?" He shrugs.

"Not really, I honestly didn't think she'd ever be in this predicament. I've read her papers and have seen the work her lab members do."

"Hm. Do you think she didn't know anything about it at all?"

"To tell you honestly, I'm not sure."

"Well. Guess you really don't know someone like you think you do."

"Yeah." Is all San says before he gives you a small smile and presses a kiss to your forehead. "I know you, though."

"Do you?" You tease and he taps the tip of your nose.

"Better than I know myself, I'd like to think." 

"Yeah." You giggle, kissing his lips sweetly. "So, tomorrow." You set your things down onto the coffee table, prompting San to stand and gather all the dishes to wash in the sink.

"Tomorrow, yes." He chuckles. "What time is your mom coming?"

"She said not too early because she wants to sleep in." San laughs louder.

"Felt that for sure. Excited to spend the day with two beautiful ladies, though."

"My mom is excited, too. We finally have a man to drive us around." You tease jokingly and he snorts.

"At your service, indeed." San wipes his hands dry after setting the dishes onto your drying rack. He indulges in the fresh cookies you made, plopping himself back down next to you with an arm draped over the back of the couch. You cuddle up against him, laughing as you continue to watch your show together without any major distractions for the first time that night. Well, until—

"Baby." San cuts in after a moment of silence that falls between the two of you mid-episode.

"Hm?" You hum, your arm wrapped around him while you rest your head on his shoulder.

"You should really take your weekends off like this. Don't burn yourself out, especially since you do so much heavy lifting in the lab and hospital." San's fingers gently rub at your arm.

"Says you, huh?"

"Nah uh, you don't get to do that." He pinches your side, making you giggle and squeal. "Don't be like me. If there's anything I truly want and value, it's to make us different than the past. I want us to work together and be on the same page no matter what."

"I know, Sannie. I want that for us, too." 

"You know you can always come to me if anything's wrong or if you aren't feeling your best. I'll always do what I can to work it out and make you feel better." He taps your nose. "I'm here to take care of you, but I also want you to take care and make sure you aren't overworking yourself."

"I think I'm doing pretty good with setting up boundaries for myself. But, that goes for you, too. I know it's been hectic getting the new lab space ready." He shrugs a bit.

"Hasn't been too bad having Namjoon and Jongho there. I appreciate their help a lot."

"That's good. I'm glad. I'm glad you always have Jongho and them to lean on." He nods before looking back down at you with a small smirk.

"Have I told you how proud I am of you?"

"A few times, but I could use the reminder." You match his energy, crawling onto his lap. He looks up at you with the sun, the moon, the universe, in his eyes, his arms wrapped lazily around your waist.

"I'd be happy to give you another reminder." He sits up to hold you flush against his body, lips grazing your neck to litter feathery kisses across the surface. "Maybe.. one that I could show you instead?"

"Oh yeah?" You giggle, squealing when San suddenly lifts you up into his arms and wraps your legs around him— carrying you to the room in your one bedroom apartment. The show is a long lost thought in the background; San gently dropping you onto your mattress. He removes his shirt from his body, tossing it to the floor with yours.

Until you're both bare. 

He kisses you heavily, messily, until he fixes his position on the bed and rests his head against your pillows. He brings you towards him, gently having you sit on is face while you work away at his cock. He laps away while you throat him deeply, loud moans vibrating against the other while you continue your motions.

That 69, all that face time.

And right before you're about to tip over the edge, San snatches your orgasm away from you, pushing you down— ass raised high for him while he's got your cheek pressed to the mattress. He fucks you into oblivion, pistoling his hips into you at a rough, harsh pace; San damn near drooling over the red marks he's leaving on your ass. He pounds into you, earning the repeated moans and calls of his name until your body feels like it'll go limp any minute.

White noise.

Static.

The orgasm rippling through your entire body as San continues to chase his own high. He praises you the entire time, his deep moans, growls, echoing in the room. Your legs feel like jello, and your body is still dealing with the post-orgasm aftershocks, but you're too far gone to care. Too deep into San, too deep into your love for this man. He finally reaches his end, releasing his seed into you, letting it drip down your pussy when he pulls out and disconnects himself from you— tip of his cock messily spreading the stragglers along your ass unintentionally.

San presses a hot trail of kisses up your spine before holding you close and turning you over— brushing the hair away from your face as he stares deep into your eyes, examines every bit of your beauty. He's not done with you yet, no. As a matter of fact, he dips forward to kiss you slowly, deeply. Hands roaming across your body, pinching and teasing at your nipples.

Leaving hickeys on your breasts because only he can see his own artwork.

Then, he goes again, and again. Fucking you with your head damn near hung over the edge of the bed, pounding into you against the shower wall.

Pushing you to your climax for another two times that night.

Because you're his good girl, and he's so damn proud of you.

Your phone starts blaring on the nightstand, causing you to jolt awake— an eye still shut as you lean over to answer the call from your mom.

"Hey mom?"

"Hey lovey! I'm gonna be there in about 30 minutes. Sorry, I figured I'd come earlier, hope that's okay. Couldn't sleep in as much as I wanted to." You suddenly feel more awake than earlier, immediately throwing your legs over the edge of the bed while San's hand lazily falls onto the mattress.

"Yeah, of course. We'll be ready for you." 

"Sounds good! Excited to see you two." Your mom says cheerfully before ending the call. You let out a breath as you set your phone down, gently nudging San awake. "Sannie."

"Hm." He hums sleepily, not moving from his position in the bed. You quietly laugh to yourself seeing his bed hair and red cheeks, hand roaming the mattress to find any sign of you nearby.

"San, get up. Mom is on her way."

"I'm so tired." He groans and whines. "Wore me the fuck out last night."

"Choi San!" You scold him as you hurriedly grab his shirt from the floor and slipping it on, rushing to the bathroom to quickly wash up and get ready before your mom comes knocking.

"What?" He sits up groggily, running his hand down his face, the sheets still covering his bare torso. "It's the truth."

"She's gonna be here any minute." You blabber while brushing your teeth. "Please put on some clothes." San chuckles and dips forward to grab his boxer briefs from the floor— the result of you two choosing to sleep bare that previous evening.

"Okay, okay." He slips into his boxers and walks over to the bathroom to join you in getting ready for the day. You throw on a denim mini skirt and a long sleeve button-up top with knee-high boots. San dresses in slacks and a short-sleeve button up, his hair softly framing his face. Just as he messily ruffles his hair and sprays on a bit of his favorite cologne, your mom knocks on the front door. You happily swing the door open and squeal at the same time your mom does, engaging in a tight, comforting bear hug. 

"My hunbun, how's it going? I know it's been awhile since your schedule has been so busy." Your mom cups your cheeks and pulls you in for another big hug. San comes out of your room, smiling at the moment you're having with her. Your mom smiles at him just as she pulls away, making her way over to him with arms wide open. "San!"

"Hey mom." He says, wrapping his arms around her tightly. 

"So handsome, my god." Your mom mutters while pulling away, making you and San laugh. She quickly shoves a bag full of food she cooked into your fridge, telling you to share with San so it doesn't go to waste. Your mom knew your schedule had been crazy— from your class schedule, to working in the lab and in the hospital for the clinical study. She worried about you more often than not, even texting San to make sure you were getting enough rest in between.

Hence, all his reminders.

"Not even." San blushes. "Anyway, you two beautiful ladies ready to head out?" You and your mom nod, grabbing your purse from the counter before heading out of your apartment.

You and your mom link arms as San is leading the way to his car. He opens the passenger and back door for you and your mom, making sure the both of you are comfortable before driving off to the first destination. 

Today was meant to be a day to spend good time with your mom and San, being that all three of you finally aligned on schedules. Your mom kept hinting that she wanted to head to the outdoor outlet about 30 minutes away from your apartment before indulging in a deep tissue massage, then an early birthday dinner celebration for your mom.

During the car ride over, your mom asks San for updates and how things are going with his lab and the new lab space. You love the way they both easily converse with each other, making it ten times more comfortable for you [and less work of carrying conversation]. They tease and joke around with each other, making you laugh in between. 

You're grateful they were able to build a good relationship over time, just like you and San's mom. San's dad is still slightly closed off and keeps his distance, but you weren't gonna force it if he wanted to keep it that way.

—FLASHBACK

"Where is she, where is she, where is she!" San's mom repeats as she races out the front door and to the car. You laugh as she approaches the window, San barely putting the car in park. You step out and immediately embrace her in a hug while she quickly waves at San and forgets about her son all together.

"Hi to you, too." San laughs as he digs his hands into his pockets, watching as you two head into the house. He shuts the door close and steps out of his shoes, his mom pouring the melon juice she made into cups. She rushes over to the dining table to hand you a big bag, and San already knows she bought you a few things from his parents' trip to Paris. She takes out the items to go through them one by one, the both of you completely oblivious to San standing nearby. He sees his dad come out from his study and into the hallway towards the kitchen, eyes peering over his glasses.

"San." His father says, looking back down at the tablet in his hands. He sees the two of you laughing and drinking the melon juice.

"Look who's here! Y/N came by with San." 

"Hi Mr. Choi." You can openly call San's mother 'mom,' but you hadn't built that relationship with his father and you weren't sure you ever would.

"Hi Y/N." He says. Politely, but he doesn't give you much attention after that, asking San's mom about their upcoming schedule. San comes from behind you, gently rubbing at your lower back, placing a kiss to your temple as a way to reassure you.

"I'm sorry, love. He always bothers me at the wrong time." San's mom playfully rolls her eyes. "So you two, tell me what's new. Especially you, dear." She brushes your hair back. "How's the clinical study going?"

—END

When the three of you arrive at the outlet, San is able to find a parking spot nearby. The outlet has a couple of stores both you and your mom are excited to hit, leaving San to trail behind— happily watching as you two move from store to store, piling on bags and bags. Eventually, he takes over and holds both of your bags, letting you guys freely enjoy yourselves as you continue to shop and enjoy each other's company. Amidst all the shopping excitement, you, San and your mom sit down for some iced drinks and pretzel dogs; snacking away for a bout of energy to walk through the last half of the outlet before heading to the massage appointment.

At the end of the shopping trip, you and San go halfsies on buying your mom a cute Louie Vuitton bag she had been eyeing. She almost cries when she comes back from the bathroom, watching the staff pack it up nicely and wrap it up in a big bow to top it off. She continued to urge you two to return it, but you brushed it off and pretended to not hear her.

Your mom deserved every bit of today, and you were glad you and San could deliver. She, too, had been working so hard, pulling in overtime just to keep herself busy and on her feet. She deserved to be spoiled.

The spa is only 15 minutes away and not busy when you arrive. The three of you are taken inside to separate rooms, stripped down to robes and asked to get comfortable. You didn't realize just how much you needed the massage until it finally takes its course, your eyes shutting contently and in peace.

You were definitely close to falling asleep a few times, might have actually dozed off once.

After the 60 minute deep tissue massage, you feel like a brand new person. You feel more light on your feet, less tense and tight around certain pain points. San pulls you in for a sweet kiss when you reunite, your mom teasing the both of you for being 'too cute for words.'

For dinner, San made reservations at a fancy restaurant right near the coastside, making sure to put in a good word for your mom's birthday when he called. It's a very busy Italian restaurant— big in size, staff running from end to end while chefs are calling out orders in the back. There's a ton of chatter going on from table to table, booth to booth. The host brings you to a booth right near the window, giving you a good view of the sun setting below the horizon, ocean waves crashing against the shore at a distance.

"This is beautiful, San." He smiles.

"You like?"

"I love." Your mom says in awe, staring out the window.

"All on me."

"But, you covered the massage. And my purse, god my purse?!"

"And I'll cover dinner." He chuckles. "It's your birthday. I wanna treat you, okay?" You laugh.

"He does have a point, ma. Today was a birthday celebration for you." The host comes back with two roses, handing it to both you and your mom in tiny vases. 

"Roses for you ladies." The host says, doing a curt bow.

"This comes with it, too?"

"Course. And another surprise later."

"Uh oh, we get a birthday song and cake!" San laughs and shushes you.

"Baby." He mumbles under his breath and gently pinches your side, making you laugh loudly as you skim the menu.

"Thank you, love." You respond.

"Of course. Any appetizers you wanna start off with?"

"The calamari sounds good."

"And the spinach artichoke dip with chips." San nods.

"Solid choices. I agree." The three of you order some non-alcoholic drinks before giving the waiter your order for appetizers and the main courses. It doesn't take long for the appetizers and drinks to arrive, keeping you busy until the main entrees arrive. You, San and your mom talk a little bit about your time in Professor Qi's lab and how you seem to be doing better about balancing your workload. They listen as you explain what next steps are, what directions you're hoping to take with your projects in the future.

Well, at least, you feel more positive about implementing changes to your routine so that you aren't overworking yourself or burning out quickly.

"I'll be right back, I need to go to the bathroom." San nods and gives your thigh a squeeze before scooting out of the booth to let you go.

"I think it's all the way towards the back." He says. You nod and he continues to stand, watching until he feels confident you're headed in the right direction. You scurry off to the bathroom towards the back of the dark, dimly lit restaurant, leaving San to entertain your mom while you're away momentarily. But you don't worry at all, especially when they don't even seem to mind you being gone; too deep into their own conversation about you, your relationship. Seemed to be the perfect moment, anyway.

"I'm glad she's finding a little bit more of a balance with her schedule now, San." He nods and smiles toothlessly.

"I am, too. I'll keep reminding her. Don't worry." She nods and laughs a bit.

"I'm just worried about her, as always. I know it took her a lot to get into grad school and where she is today. She struggled for awhile and finally felt like she was in a good place, like she had purpose. I know all she wants to do is work hard and push through, but I don't want her to get sick or hurt herself. I don't want anything to happen to her, and I especially don't want all of this to be taken away from her in any fashion."

"It won't. She's amazing at what she does, and she's passionate about it. It doesn't take much to see that. But, I think she knows her boundaries well. She knows when she can and can't push herself, or when she shouldn't. She'll find her rhythm over time and it'll be better." Your mom sips on her water and slowly nods.

"You take good care of her. I can tell you genuinely care about my daughter."

"I do. I love her. I really love her. Deeply." He pauses before fiddling with the edge of the napkin. He feels his nerves growing, and he's trying his best to push it away. "A-And if it's not too much to consider now, I'd like to get your permission and blessing to care for her and take care of her, especially after she graduates."

"Y-You're asking now?" Your mom asks in slight disbelief, even though she's mostly in shock because San is asking now. It's not that she doesn't believe him, or doesn't think he'd keep his word. It's the fact that he's even doing it in the first place so early on. 

"I, yeah." San chuckles. "I'm sorry, mom. I don't mean to scare you, but I'm certain about her." San sips on his drink. "I don't necessarily hop from one relationship to another. I'm not that kind of guy. And I know you might've heard a bit about my last marriage, but I can assure you—"

"I know, San. I know." Your mom puts her hand on his arm and gives it a reassuring squeeze. "Y/N told me all about it. I hope you don't mind. She told me everything about Iseul and Yunho. Those unbelievable bastards."

"Oh— yeah. Right." San laughs with your mom before they sit in silence for a bit. 

"I'd love for you to take care of my daughter and be there by her side." Your mom breaks the silence with her sweet statement. "You've been a good support system for her and I can't thank you enough for being there. For remaining by her side despite the hard circumstances."

"Always. I'll always be there. She's my priority."

"And I know you mean it." Your mom looks at him and reaches over the table to gently squeeze his hand. Because for the first time, she sees the real, genuine definition of love, support, safety and comfort— all wrapped up in one person.

San.

And you just so happened to be his end goal.

—taglist: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @vcutparis @chngbnwf @struggling101 @sanhwalvr @angelqueendom @barbielibra @brown88 @choisansplushie @yunhoswrldddd @hyukssunflower @vickykazuya @lucid-galaxys-world @jaytheatiny @pommelex @thechaotictheoryy @vixensss @santineez @nopension @domfikeluva @in-somnias-world @my-atiny-kookie-rkive @mountiiny @naoristerling @onmymymyway @thecutiepieme @wyrated @randajjjad

[dragonridersandhighlords]

Chasing Shadows | P R O L O G U E

Masterlist | CS Masterlist

Summary: Wrenley's first year at Basgiath.

Word Count: 9.6k (I blacked out while writing.. oops lmao)

Series Warnings: smut 18+ MDNI (begins in prologue) , accidental choking, violence, death, swearing, torture

Chapter Specific Warnings: p in v, no mentions of condoms or birth control (wrap it before you tap it), unintentional choking with shadows, use of safe word,

July 15, 632 AU

Conscription Day. The day every 20 year old in Navarre will enter the quadrant of their choosing to assist in the war. Well choosing if you aren’t one of the marked ones.

I've counted down the days until I was here. Not because I was excited at the possibility of death, but because my parents went here. My mom walked the exact path I'm about to. I'm a legacy, and if they think the shimmering swirls up my left arm are going to change that, they are dead wrong.

I follow behind my closest friends, Bodhi Durran and Imogen Cardulo, as we walk towards the entrance to the Riders Quadrant. I watch the people around us. Many stand alone, some whose families have no clue where they are. Others, like us, who have no family left to say goodbye to, not after the executions.

“Ready?” Bodhi asks, looking over to me.

I smile weakly. “Truthfully? No, but do I have a choice?” I look between him and Imogen as we step forward in line.

Imogen sighs loudly, shaking her head. “Nope. None whatsoever." Another step forward. 5 people ahead of us. 

"What's the plan for when we get across?" Imogen questions. 4 ahead, another step.

“Find Xaden and Garrick, they’ll work it out.” I promise. Honestly? I don't know if they can figure out anything when it comes to the Riders Quadrant. None of us have seen the likes of Xaden Riorson or Garrick Tavis in exactly a year. Thanks to a long string of letters and a short string of secret ones in the last year, I never had to fully miss Xaden.

3 people ahead.

After the execution of the rebellion leaders, all the children were sent off to be fostered by those considered loyal to the crown. My cousin and I were sent to a distant relative while Xaden, who I had just started dating as the rebellion began, was sent elsewhere with many of the other children. Siblings were separated, friends lost touch. Xaden, Garrick, Bodhi, and I got lucky that our foster's were friends and let us write letters and occasionally got to see each other. I have an entire box full of letters back home that I've read a million times. 

“Name?” The scribe before me is giving me the most annoyed look I’ve ever seen. Glancing up, I see Imogen and Bodhi already climbing the stairs to the parapet. A death trap of an entrance to a death trap of a quadrant. “Name?”

“Uh, Wrenley Tavis.” I spit out, signing on the empty line and quickly move to catch up with my friends. We’re silent on the way up. Not a word is spoken between us as we stick close to the wall just as Xaden had urged us to do in the last letter from him. 

“Oh man, is she gonna be happy to see you.” Bodhi laughs at the top of the stairs. He gives his name and begins his turn crossing the parapet, practically running across.

Imogen laughs, muttering a “show off” as she steps up, providing her name and then following Bodhi at the same pace.

I cleared the doorway to the small platform and spotted just who Bodhi was talking to. “Garrick!” I resist every instinct in my body to jump into my cousin’s arms. It may have been a year but he is still, without a doubt, the exact same person I sent off to the same sentence. 

“Hey Princess.” He offers me a warm smile, using the nickname the boys have always had for me. “Keep your eyes ahead. Don’t look down.” The advice comes in a hushed tone as the other Rider up here asks for my name. I provide it and then Garrick says, “Good luck, Candidate Tavis.” He nods, any sign of the man just happy to see his little cousin is gone. Got it. Strictly business.

I step onto the parapet and repeat exactly what I’ve spent years preparing for. Arms out for balance, heel to toe with a 5 inch gap. Pretend you’re balancing a stack of books on your head. Do. Not. Look. Down. And walk with determination. The faster you’re on, the faster you’re off. The sooner you can be in his arms, I think to myself before I’m off.

Bodhi and Imogen wait just off the foot tall drop for me, the roll-keeper nearby to document who lives. I give her my name, Bodhi and Imogen cheering in my ear at us all making it.

“Cadet Tavis,” The roll-keeper hands me a missive and dismisses us as she says, “I was directed to give this to you upon your arrival.” 

Imogen immediately starts to tease me as I unfold the paper to the handwriting I’m all too familiar with.

I’m proud of you Little Bird! Let me show you just how much? Head to the right of the parapet. Up the stairs to the second floor, 5th room on the left. -X

“Oh we’ve definitely lost her.” Bodhi pokes at my cheeks that I’m sure are red.

“I’ll see you at formation.” Tucking the missive into my pocket, I start following the directions. Two flights of stairs, through the door, fifth room on the left. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. My smile only brightens as I stop at the door. Gods, he’s right here.

I reach up and before my knuckles can touch the wood, the swings open and I’m tugged through and pinned to the back of the door. Deep onyx eyes, the specks of gold I have long since memorized, watch me with such longing that I’m sure is mimicked in my own blue orbs.

“Xaden.” I manage to whisper before his lips meet mine.

“A year,” he heaves, pulling from the kiss before taking over my sense again, “is way too fucking long.” There’s a rumble from deep within him at his words that only drags a moan from between my lips as he moves his assault to my jaw and down. “I watched you cross. I’ve never been so terrified and yet so turned on in my life.

“Gods, have I missed you.” I breathe as he locks onto the sweet spot on my neck, the one he knows will drive me wild. A battle of will ignites between us as we rush to strip each other as quickly as possible. Between heated kisses and tripping over our discarded clothes, we manage to get down to our undergarments before we reach the bed.

“I will never get over how gorgeous you are.” I can feel his breathing catching as I reach up to pull my hair from the tie holding it away from my face. I slide across the sheets, beckoning him to follow.

“If you don’t have me seeing stars in the next five min–” I can’t even get my weightless threat out before his lips are back on mine. 

“We both know I’ll have you seeing stars in less than two, my love.” He flashes my favorite version of his smile when he pulls away, the one reserved just for me. He runs a teasing finger over my clothed slit. “Which should I use first, Love? My fingers?” The moan he pulls from me is anything but quiet, my whimpers a plea. “My tongue?” He rips my underwear from me, exposing my lower half to his prowling eyes. “Or my cock?” He growls, shifting on the bed to press himself against my soaked core.

“Please.” I have no control over myself. It's just pure need that drives the noises I’m making from me.

“Who am I kidding? I never need to ask, you’re always so needy for the same thing.” There’s a wicked glint in his eyes, the truth of his statement is not lost on me. Given a choice, I always reach for the same pleasure only his cock can provide me.

“Please, Xay.” I moan as he grinds into me, the pleasure from his movement cascades over me.

“Anything for you,” he promises, his voice barely over a whisper and then I feel him. All of him, bare and gliding across my folds. “Fuck, Wren. I’ve missed you so much.” He mutters before sliding in all the way into me.

My screams are raw and unrestricted with each of his thrusts, pulling me further towards my release. “Oh gods, Xaden, please…” He doesn’t respond as his speed increases, burying his face into the crook of my neck. I didn’t even notice I had closed my eyes until I opened them and found black tendrils of smoke whispering around the room and up my body. “Xay…” My plea over the strange whisps floating over me comes out as a breathy moan with another snap of his hips.

“You’re squeezing me like a fucking vice, Wren. Come for me.”

I want to, gods do I want to, but the closer those tendrils come to my neck, the weight that settles around my throat, the farther my release feels.

“Xa–” The smoke tightens, cutting his name off in the throat. I open my mouth to release another plea but nothing comes out, darkness creeping in on the edges of my vision. I try to push him back, so he can at least see it but he doesn’t move. I gasp what little air I can as the smoke just barely releases its hold. Before the hold can tighten again I gasp, “Ven–” I blink and Xaden’s on the other side of the room, eyes wide and gasping for air like I had hit him.

“Xay?”

“You should go back to formation.” I watch those tendrils retreat from the bed and towards Xaden before disappearing completely.

“Talk to me, please.” I cautiously move towards him, tugging the blanket off the bed to cover myself.

Xaden’s already taking steps away from me until he’s leaving against the desk. “I lost control. I lost complete control and you had to use–”

“But I’m okay.” I quickly tell him. The pure fear in his eyes tells me it’s not the first time he’s lost control like that. “No marks, see?” Are there marks? I don’t know! It doesn’t hurt so I’m going out on a limb here. “We have the word for a reason, darling.”

I catch his gaze landing on my neck and then back to the floor. “I just need a minute, I’ll see you out there.”

I nod silently and redress, watching as he doesn’t move. “I know you’d never intentionally hurt me.” I lean up on my toes to kiss him and he turns away. Sighing, I place a kiss on his cheek then move to the door. “I love you, Xaden.” He doesn’t respond as I slip out of the door and sneak back out to the courtyard. 

I’m stewing in my thoughts as I sift through the faces of first years, searching for my friends. I’m reaching the last line when I collide with someone. “Shit, I am so sorry.”

“It’s no prob– Wren?” The familiar voice, yet deeper than the last time I heard it, bounces around my mind tugging my gaze over and settling on the familiar face. 

Time has been kind to him. In the last six years since I last saw him, Dain Aetos has gone from the boy I ran around outposts with to a man that wouldn’t even dare to do the same foolish activities from our childhood.

“Dain. You’ve grown up.”

“I could say the same about you.” The smile he offers is genuine, until his eyes catch the shimmering relic on my left arm. Now it looks forced, with a tell tale hint of remorse. “Shit, Wren. Did you get punished for your uncle?”

“What?” I feel like the world has started to crumble around me.

“That's a separatist’s child relic.” He says it like it's a dirty phrase and I struggle to reply for only a moment before it's not shock simmering in my chest, but anger.

“Yeah, Dain,” I scoff, watching his eyes as my next words come out. “I watched my dad get executed in Calldyr just like all the others.”

“Your dad joined them?” His matured features shift, the pitying look he had is replaced with one that almost resembles disgust. How could something so simple destroy the friendship we had developed a decade ago?

“He defended our home and lost his life for it!” I try to keep the angry tears that threaten to spill at bay, my hands tightening to fists at my side. “But I wouldn’t expect you to understand that, considering it was your father that dragged him to his execution.”

“I didn’t know, Wren.” Just when I think he might show some remorse, knowing that the man who considered my dad his friend was the one to kill him, Dain takes the knife that's been permanently embedded in my heart for the last four years and twists. “But I’m sure there was more to it than–”

“Right.” The words taste bitter. A copy of his father, my dad had said he’d become. Low and behold, Aetos Junior.  “I’ll keep this in mind, Aetos. Thanks for showing me who you really are.” I shove past him, my anger threatening to boil over at the thought of this place already tearing my friendships away. 

Bodhi’s only a few feet away, his presence pulling me over as I continue to fight with my emotions. I can feel his eyes on me, worry radiating off him, but I shrug him off. “He was an old friend.” These words taste worse on my tongue. “But you know what happens to friends from before.” And what this place will do to you, I say to myself. 

The senior wingleader begins calling cadets towards the first three wings. Bodhi is called to Tail Section of Fourth Wing, while Imogen and I are called to Flame Section of the same wing. Xaden smiles at me as I pass him, his finger’s grazing mine as he mutters, “Meet me after curfew.” The simple touch releases all of the tension in my shoulders. I step in line for my squad, Xaden’s squad, and land right next to Dain. This is going to be a long year.

September 632 AU

Perched on the parapet, I watch the stars fill the night sky. Xaden sits beside me, whether he’s actually watching the sky or me is an idea I ignore for this peaceful moment.

Sneaking around with Xaden for the last 3 months has been nothing short of exciting. Although I’m sure many are becoming privy to our dynamic, especially after the few occasions of Xaden’s protective side coming out. I can hold my own during any challenge but there was one that nearly sent Xaden over the edge. During the Gauntlet yesterday? It took Bodhi and Garrick to keep Xaden from rushing to my aid as I slipped from the final incline.

“Were you nervous for Threshing last year?” The words feel like no more than a whisper against the breeze around us. 

“For Threshing itself? Not particularly.” His voice showed no inflections, a calmness that surrounded me like a blanket. “What really got me was the thought of not seeing you again. That fear haunted me daily. Still does.” His words hung in the air between us as he turned to straddle the parapet, tugging me closer to him. “Are you scared for tomorrow?”

I hesitate with my answer. “Will you be disappointed if I say yes?”

Xaden’s laughter is like a breath of fresh air, pulling me in for a soft kiss. I know he’s trying to send all of my worries away with the kiss but they still remain, even as he tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

“I saw Desa at Presentation,” I murmur, honestly wishing I hadn’t seen the familiar sapphire scales. “When Kaori said this was the first year she’s agreed to bond, I was shocked she didn’t already have a new rider.” Desa, a blue swordtail, was my mother’s dragon. I can still remember the late night rides mom would talk me on, or the early mornings that I would watch them soar off on patrol, before tragedy had struck and both Desa and I lost the most important person in our lives. 

“Sgaeyl mentioned that,” Xaden nods along, “Apparently they’re as close as sisters.” He chuckles, the far off look in his eyes a tell tale sign he’s speaking to Sgaeyl right now.

“I’m sure mom is overjoyed that Desa is finally moving on,” I sigh, turning towards the stars again. “I’m honestly just hoping to live tomorrow.”

I can feel Xaden’s fingers intertwined with mine, a seal to the promise he makes me. “If anyone will survive–and bond–it’ll be my strong and insanely smart girlfriend.” It feels like a lifeline in the dark sea of my mind where I’ve been drowning. “Let’s get you to bed.”

Another kiss meets my cheek before I’m pulled to stand and guided off the parapet. Xaden wraps an arm around my shoulders as he leads me towards the dormitories and leaves me with a final kiss before leaving to his room.

October 1 632 AU

I think I’m lost. I’ve been in the dense woods for what feels like hours and the rustling leaves and distant roars of dragons raise the hairs on the back of my neck. Every once in a while, I’d glance up to see a newly bonded pair shoot off to the sky, and just as often, I’d see a rider lose their seat, falling back to the earth. 

“If anyone will survive–and bond–it’ll be my strong and insanely smart girlfriend.”

Xaden’s words from last night flit through my mind and I remind myself that I can do this, that I will not die today.

“You surely won’t, Youngling.” The voice, soft and yet commanding, makes me freeze mid step.

“Hello?” I call, feeling the wavering tone as I search the trees around me for the owner of the voice.

“I’ve waited 6 years for you, Wrenley Tavis.” The familiar sapphire scales glint in the sunlight behind me and I turn. I can feel the air halt in my lungs and I instinctively step back from the creature before me, head held low.

“Back away any farther and you risk another dragon choosing to scorch you.” I bring my eyes up to meet the striking gold ones, the piercing gaze, like she bores into my soul. “I do. Now get on,” she orders, her tone leaving zero room for an argument. So why do I provide one?

“We’ll get… we’ll get in trouble. You can’t choose me.” I stutter out.

“Let me worry about that, Youngling. Now climb.”

I take a deep breath. This is crazy, but I listen. I sprint towards her leg and climb my way to the seat before she launches into the air. It takes all of my strength to stay on and not fall the hundreds of feet to my death as she loops and swirls through the air. When the dragon levels out above the citadel, I take in the view of Navarre and smile and the wind whips my hair, tugging strands out.

“That was amazing!” I scream over the wind.

“I never doubted your ability for a second. She would be proud.” I can feel the pride from the dragon alone and I don’t need to ask who ‘she’ is as we land in the training fields and I dismount. “Tell the role-keeper Desathos. If anyone questions you, they will deal with me.”

I can feel all of the eyes on me, whispers growing around me, the closer I get to the desk.

“There’s no way.”

“Kaori said even though she agreed, she probably wouldn’t bond.”

“They’re whispering about you.” I say to Desa, finally pushing my thoughts towards her.

“You needn't try so hard to speak with me and ignore them, Youngling. Focus ahead.” Mom always spoke of how calming it was to have Desa in her head, but actually experiencing it? It's the craziest thing.

My steps feel heavy under the weightful gazes around me. The grass of the field provides quiet steps, and with the hushed voices around me, I can hear my racing heartbeat like it’s being projected. 

“Impossible.” Professor Kaori stands in awe as I approach, his gaze flickering from me to Desa.

I meet the gaze of each person standing on the dais and finally land on General Lilith Sorrengail, my moms best friend. There’s a hint of sadness in her eyes as I approach.

“Wrenley Tavis. For the record, please tell me the name of the dragon who chose you.” The poor scribe who acts as roll-keeper this year looks absolutely terrified as those on the dais lean in.

“Desathos.” My throat is shockingly steady compared to the thrumming inside my chest. Am I going to pass out?

“Breathe, Youngling.”

“Your mother’s dragon?” The role-keeper questions, quill trembling in her hand.

“This cannot be allowed!”

“The generations are too close for safety!”

“The Empyrean has already approved the bond.”

What? I turn back to Desa in shock, and then back to the dais where Melgran is looking off into space and General Sorrengail who just has the proudest look in her eyes.

“Enough!” Melgren’s voice booms, silencing everyone in the area. “The Empyrean has already met on this subject, long before it was an issue to us. Cadet Tavis will remain bonded to Desa. Should she go mad, they will meet again.” 

I nod to Melgren before retreating back to my dragon’s side. Relief flows over me as I feel a warm rush of air hit me. I look up to Desa watching me as another rush of hair and I turn to see Xaden and Sgaeyl land just a hundred feet from us, Xaden’s eyes locked on mine. We’re both alive and all I want–need– is to be in his arms but General Sorrengail begins speaking before either of us can move.

I can’t hear a word she says as Xaden just watches me from his spot. I bonded my first Threshing. I bonded my mom’s dragon. The words settle over me and the joy sparks in Xaden’s eyes when Desa nudges me forward.

“Five steps forward, Youngling.” 

“Dragons, it is our honor as always. Now we celebrate!” 

A scream rips through me as heat curls around my left shoulder, along the top of my relic. I can hear other screams around me but I can’t focus on them.

“I think it pairs well with your existing one.” I tug the neckline of my shirt down, revealing the intricate shape of a dragon on my collarbone, the tail blending into the swirls of my relic.

“Wow…”

“A perfect blend of the two halves of your life.” I can’t think more on what she means because I am lifted up by two arms appearing from behind and am immediately spun around.

“You did it!” Xaden’s voice is like music to my ears. “And they let you have Desa? Eden must be smiling down on you.” 

Seeing General Sorrengail’s pride was like hearing of my mother’s pride from someone else, but hearing Xaden say it? The boy my mom swore was going to be the one as Fen Riorson said when he learned of our relationship, it's like my mom is saying it. A bright smile spreads across my face, and before I know it, Xaden is closing the space between us and meeting my lips in a passionate kiss.

“Xaden! People can see us!” It’s nothing more than a breathless whisper between us as I pull back.

“I don’t care what others say, do you?” The confidence and affection in his eyes and voice drown out the rest of the world around us. The cheers of those bonded, the devastation of those who didn’t, the loss of friends. Life is so short at Basgiath, and the brightness in Xaden’s eyes? I hope he never loses that spark.

“Let them talk. As long as I get you in the end.” He pulls me into another kiss, the whoops and hollers that are surely coming from our friends sound around us. But amidst all of that, I find solace in his arms. It's almost like I see our future in my mind.

The two of us, side by side, with no worry about what tomorrow could bring us. And with his words, it solidifies that hope in me.

“Always, my life. There’s nowhere I’d rather be than with you.”

End of October 632 AU

The Gathering Hall hummed with energy as the cadets settled down for dinner. Bodhi drops his try beside me and knocks my arm with his. “How’s Xaden liking Cordyn?” 

I let out a groan. “I can’t wait until the stupid year is up so I don’t have to send him away for a week a month anymore.” My squadmates laugh at my frustrations, Bodhi, Imogen, and Garrick laugh harder at my next words. “Have I mentioned how much I hate Catriona lately?”

“Only every 5 minutes,” Imogen laughs across from me.

We’re all laughing now until a voice pierces through the air. “Hey Tavis!” My cousin and I both turn at our last name. “Saw Riorson flying in just a few minutes ago.”

I can feel the excitement bubble in me but uncertainty still thrums deep below.  “Did he mention coming back early?” I ask, turning to my friends. Their eyes match that deep feeling of uncertainty but my excitement wins out, making me jump from the table and run to the flight field.

“Youngling? Do we have a surprise class this evening?” Desa’s voice rings through as I reach the stairs.

“No, someone said they saw Xaden flying in.” I can’t hide my excitement as I take the stairs two at a time.

“Sgaeyl is still out of reach.” Desa responds and my steps stumble as I reach the grass.

“What?” I instinctively reach for the dagger on my hip as pain shoots out from my left knee.

“You’re too gullible for your own good, Tavis.” The world spins, laughter erupting around me, as I land face first into the ground. I roll onto my back, catching the faces of my attackers. More than one, perfect. I try to lunge at one but an unexpected kick reaches my ribs and I curl into the pain. Trying again to stand, I feel the weight of someone clambering on top of me before pinning my arms to the ground, and then the blows keep coming. Like rain, each one landed in a sequence. A sickening crunch when one hits my nose at the right angle.

“Keep fighting.” Desa calls, and desperation raised in me. Desa did not bond someone who couldn’t hold her own. I pull my right knee up, knocking the body above me off balance enough to shove him off. I rise again but the minute I place my weight on my left knee, white hot pain sends a scream through my lungs–a strong reminder that I’m not just fighting to prove I can, but for my survival because they will kill me.

I will not die today.

I manage to remain upright and palm another of my daggers as I’m circled again. “Your precious section leader isn’t here to protect you.” The words are dipped in malice but I can’t focus on the taunt, can’t cling to the hope Desa’s voice brings, promising that he’s on his way, when there's another pain in my side. I feel the cold metal graze my skin on his exit as my eyes meet the dripping dagger and the blood seeping from my side.

Shit. That’s not good.

“Maybe next time, you’ll rethink your bond.” It's almost a growl that erupts from another of the attackers as a second blade is sent through the same opening, or maybe it's the same one? I can’t tell when everything feels so much darker. A mist sweeping up my vision as I try to hold onto my strength to live.

I feel so… heavy, almost like I’m slipping. Laughter circling me again as I drop to my knees with another sharp pain.

“Wrenley!” I hear my name called but it’s quiet. So quiet.

“Hold on, Youngling.” I feel the grass at my cheek again, starting to embrace the shadow of darkness as a roar rings through the air and I let myself smile as frantic hands reach me, pleads filling the air but the words are lost and I let the dark consume me.

I can hear the voices before I can see the owners. Each string of words weaves to create a blanket of concern and frustrations.

“Why didn’t you keep a better eye on her?” The words cut through my consciousness.

“I was a minute behind her! Desa had already charred them as I climbed the last stair!” That’s definitely Bodhi’s voice, his whisper harsh.

“They wouldn’t have been able to do anything if you had been there!”

“In case you haven’t noticed, she’s the fastest runner at Basgiath!” Bodhi counters. “I can barely keep up with her on a good day!”

“I gave you one job, Bodhi! One!”

“It wasn’t his fault.” I let out with a hoarse groan. Prying my eyes open, I’m blinded by the harsh light in the healer’s quadrant. My vision clears as I process who exactly is in the room. Bodhi is leaning on the footboard of the bed I’m in, concern etched in every inch of his face, Garrick pacing behind him. Imogen is seated to my right, gently stroking my hand.

Onyx eyes meet mine as I look to the left. Pain and worry shine in them, yet they’re filled with the most soothing warmth. “Take it easy, leave. Healers said it's all gonna hurt for a few days.” Xaden stops me as I try to sit up.

“Listen to the Shadow Wielder.” Desa orders as I shift in the uncomfortable bed.

“What happened?” I groan out, meeting the eyes of my friends, but I especially try and fail to avoid Xaden’s. 

“Couple of unbondeds attacked you. We got there right after Desa did.” Bodhi answers.

“Xay…”

“I flew back as soon as I got the missive.” The sigh Xaden releases is filled with the weight of unspoken fears, his fingers brushing against my cheek and pushing them behind my ear so gently, like he fears I might break. “You knew I wasn’t supposed to be back for a couple days. Why would you risk it on the word of another rider? Especially an unbonded one?”

“I hate sending you to Cordyn.” I confess in a whisper, turning away from Xaden. As much as I tell Bodhi and Imogen, I’ve never admitted it to Xaden out loud. 

“I know, my love.” I catch a cry before it releases at his words, gentle fingers turning my face by my chin so he can look in my eyes. “You almost died.” There’s an unusual tremble in his voice, a silver line along his lashes and I feel all of his pain. 

Getting the missive, the one I’m sure Bodhi wrote, judging by how shaken Garrick looks, it must have torn Xaden to shreds.

“Why choose now to attack? Her and Desa have been bonded for 3 weeks now, it would have been better to do it right after Threshing, right?” Garrick finally speaks, his pacing pausing but the terror doesn’t leave his body.

“It’s because Xaden was gone. Because he couldn’t protect me.” I mutter, hoping they didn’t hear me. “

“That's it.” Xaden’s voice is cold, the sudden shift sending a chill down my spine, He storms out of the room, Garrick hot on his heels, leaving me in a whirlwind of confusion and pain.

“While I appreciate the previous agreements made with my father and the aid you had provided, I cannot in good conscience continue the arrangement with Catriona Cordella. I hope we can come to another agreement to make up for our end of the deal that does not allow me to betray those closest to me.”

- Recovered correspondence from Cadet Xaden Riorson to Viscount Tecarus of Krovla

December 632 AU

The chill of the impending Winter crept into the air as I walked with Bodhi and Imogen through the rotunda, our laughter echoing off the stone walls after Bodhi cracked a joke about what happened during flight maneuvers this morning. The buzz of cadets all around us, as we continued our laughter. I catch Xaden watching us from the exterior of the circular hall. I really need to talk to him, Desa started channeling a few weeks ago and weird things have been happening all week. 

It’s almost like he can read my mind when he offers me a reassuring smile and a soft nod before mouthing. “Meet me in the courtyard.” I nod back before turning to the conversation between Bodhi and Imogen as we enter the Academic Wing. I don’t hear their conversation as I think over the interaction with Xaden. Did he sense my anxiety? Maybe he just wants to check on me.

“I’m telling you, they didn’t stand a—” Imogen’s voice was cut off by screams pouring out as we opened the door to the Battle Brief. 

“What’s going on?” I asked, my heart racing. The scene that greeted us was chaotic; a first-year student was screaming, hands clamped tightly over his ears, his face twisted in terror. 

“He’s an inntinnsic,” murmurs rippled through the crowd. I felt my stomach drop as his eyes met mine, wide with desperation. 

“Help me. You understand,” he gasped, his voice warping, changing into a tone that wasn’t his own. “I really need to talk to Xaden. He’ll know what to do.” The urgency in his plea sent shivers down my spine. He squeezed his eyes shut, anguish etched across his features, and for a moment, a different voice echoed from his lips, “Make it stop!” 

What? How did he know what I was thinking? 

A hand gently touches my back, causing me to jump at the sudden touch before a low whisper reaches my ears.

“Change your thoughts, think of anything else. Something useless,” Xaden urges. The unyielding in his voice grounds me and I fight to divert my mind. 

I reach for the memories of dusty outpost libraries, those few years I was away from Aretia growing up. Violet and Dain are beside me, laughing as we translate a random scroll or two. 

“Close your eyes,” Xaden directs, someone pushing their way through the gathering crowd pushing Xaden closer to me. “You aren’t gonna want to watch this.” I turn to him confused and a gasp slices through the crowd, drawing silence. I turn back to see the first year motionless, a professor looming over him. How have I met every professor here already? Which one is he?

“That’s Professor Carr,” Garrick says. “He’s the wielding professor.” Had I asked out loud? No. No, I know I hadn’t. 

“Holy shit.” There’s a pit in my stomach. Instinctively, I take a step back towards the door but Xaden still stands in my way.

“Wren?” The concern in his voice acts as an anchor, but it’s too late. I’m already drowning. I can’t draw a single breath as panic rises in my chest like a wave ready to crash over me.

“Trust the Shadow Wielder,” Desa urges me.

“I’m an inntinnsic, aren’t I?” I ask her, praying I’m not right.

“The Shadow Wielder can help.”

“They’ll kill me.” I can’t tell if the words are aloud or in my mind but Xaden’s hands grip my shoulders.

“Wrenley, what's wrong?” He’s turning me to face him, a hand coming up to brush the tears I hadn’t even noticed falling. I try to speak, I open my mouth and nothing comes out. “Love, talk to me.” Before I can think, like my body is in overdrive, I pull from his grasp and run out the doors.

I’m barrelling through every door until the fresh air from the courtyard rushes through my lungs. My hands reach for something to grip onto as I try to steady my racing heart.

“Wren?”

Dain. Fuck he’ll tell his dad if he finds out what I am.

“I’m–” I gasp. “Just go to class, Dain.” The words are rough as I lean farther into the wall.

“Shit, who told you?” I lift my gaze to meet him, all of my worry shifting to confusion as I see the pain in his eyes. “I was just coming to get you, Violet was asking for you.”

“What happened to Vi?” It’s like an alarm goes off when he mentions Violet. Our parents were assigned to the same outpost when Dain and I were nine and Vi was 8. I learned pretty quickly that Violet was a fragile thing after we fell out of a tree. My heart is still uncontrollable.

“Focus on calming your heart, Youngling, before you lose control,” Desa’s voice is softer than I’ve known it. I can feel how worried she is through the bond. Fuck, I’m really losing it.

“She’s fine. Well, physically at least.”

“Spit it out, Aetos!” I snap, my patience fraying along with my control.

“It’s Asher, Wren,” Dain finally confesses and my heart sinks. “He collapsed in the Archives a few days ago. I turn on my heel and run towards the main college. “She’s in her room!” I hear Dain call from behind me and I barely hear it over the echo of my footsteps meeting the stone of the bridge. I’ve only been to this part of Basgiath once after her parents took positions here, and yet I blindly follow the path to her room.

I take a deep breath before knocking and pushing the door open. It's silent besides the shuddering breaths of the girl curled into a ball on her bed.

“Vi?” I call softly, pushing the door shut behind me as I walk towards her. My heart ached at the sight of this tiny girl, swimming among the blankets.

“Wrenley?” I can’t wait a second more, climbing onto the bed and holding her close as a sob rips through her fragile frame. “He’s gone.” She sobs and the words reach me like a dagger. I held her tighter, wishing I could take her pain, and block anything else that could come for her.

“When’s the last time you slept, Vi?” She doesn’t respond, but the way she’s barely holding herself up in my hold speaks volumes; it hasn’t been in the last few days. “How do I help her? Can I help her?” I plead with Desa.

“You can barely keep your thoughts to yourself,” her reply is dry, a reminder of my own emotional chaos.

“Can I help her or not?” I snap, frustration coursing through me.

“Mentally imagine a door, that you’re opening it and stepping into her mind. Just think soothing thoughts, ones that could help her fall asleep. It’s how she did it on you.”

“My mom was an inntinnsic?” That's not possible. My mom was such a rule follower.

“Focus, Youngling.”

I focus every fiber of my being into the task. The door, old wood with intricate carvings, like what the old tomes were written in. Opening the door, I step through to Violet’s mind and I focus on the soothing thought Desa mentioned. 

Nights of reading fairy tales by moonlight, Asher and my father acting out the stories with shadows on the wall. Then I think about Violet, wishing for her to remember the simple times with those stories that always put us to sleep, running my fingers through her brown and silver tipped hair. Her breathing starts to slow, a soft rise and fall as I watch her tense muscles loosen. 

“Very good, Youngling. Now imagine yourself leaving her mind, like backing out of the door and closing and locking it.” I follow Desa’s instructions and feel the connection between Violet and I getting farther away. “This is also how you can keep yourself from accidentally entering someone else’s.”

A light smile tugs at the corner of my lips at the success.

“Vi? Wren?” The door swings open, Dain frantically coming through the door. I quickly shush him, pointing to the sleeping girl in my lap. “How’d you do that so fast?”

“She just fell asleep. Must still like me more than you.” I laugh softly as Dain positions himself on the floor by the bed.

“Are you okay?” He asks me, his gaze watching me closely.

“I will be.” I answer simply, giving my old friend a soft smile as Desa’s voice rings through my mind again.

“We begin training tomorrow.”

January 633 AU

“Come on, Bodhi!” The crowd of cadets cheered as we watched the challenge. They just started back up this week and it's been fairly entertaining. Bodhi’s grin is infectious, completely in his element as he pins his opponent. 

“Kick his ass!”

“He yields!” Professor Emetterio’s voice cuts through the excitement and Bodhi hops off his opponent, offering a hand to help him up. The cadet brushes him off, limping over to his squad. Bodhi saunters over to us, popping a high five to my raised hand as he stops beside me, turning back to the mat, pride radiating off him.

He’s the best fighter in our year and I’m not far off. I may leave the mat as injured as my opponent but at least I leave victorious as Bodhi and Garrick like to say. Xaden has been trying to teach better evasive maneuvers but while I’m quick on my feet, everyone has been significantly larger than me.

“Next we have…” Emettario scans his notes, drawing out the anticipation. “Sebastian Orbeck and Wrenley Tavis.”

Speaking of larger than me.

“Isn’t that the guy that's been threatening you for the last week?” Imogen asks, eyes glancing at me wearily. 

“I’m so dead.” I’m five foot six on a good day, Sebastian? He’s as tall as Xaden, if not taller if that was possible, and arms the size of my fucking head. I will not die today.

“Begin,” Emettario calls as we both step onto the mat. I brandish one of my blades as Sebastian circles me, two blades of his own drawn.

“Finally, my chance to take you out, Tavis. I’ve been waiting all year.” His smile brings the hairs on the back of my neck to attention, and I reach to pull a second blade.

“You'll have to fight for that,” I shoot back, voice way steadier than I feel on the inside.

“Oh, I will.” He says with a growl before charging at me, the ground thudding with his weight. I use one of the moves Xaden taught me and tuck into a roll to dodge him. Landing on my feet, I turn to face him and lean back just out of reach of the blade Sebastian swings at me.

“Uh, that’s the best you can do?” I ask, laughing to mask the anxiety flowing through my veins. The murmurs around us fade as I focus on the threat.

“Don’t piss him off, Wren,” a stern voice calls out, worry an underlying tone.

In an instant, Sebastian charges again and I reach for the door of his mind, forcing him to shift his blade to the side, but not enough when I hiss at the sting of the blade breaking skin.

“Your aim is shit,” I taunt, flipping one of my blades in my hand as I take a step back. I can feel Xaden’s annoyed sigh at my taunting but I can't focus on him right now. Another swing of his blade, and I jump back from the blade. “Can’t you try harder than that?” I start backing along the edge of the mat, trying to create some distance when my foot snags on something and I land on my back with a thud, air completely knocked from my lungs.

Before I can force any air into my lungs, Sebastian is on top of me and his hand at my throat, but he’s not squeezing. Why can I still not breathe? My wide eyes snape to Xaden who is fighting every urge to step in. Then it dawns on me:

Sebastian is an Air Wielder. He’s using his signet to suffocate me!

“Come on, Signetless. Die quickly so this can all end,” he hisses, breath chilling along my skin. I manage to turn towards Xaden, using what little energy I have left to reach for his door. The pressure on my chest increases as I gasp for any air but none comes and my vision starts to blur as I throw open the mental door. I’m risking everything by doing this to Xaden, but I’d rather live to have him lecture me than die and have him burn my things for Malek. 

I launch myself into his subconscious and scream. “Stop him.” Xaden freezes, eyes widening in alarm.

“Wren?” What? No! He should be moving! This isn’t right!

“Now!” I scream again, before my vision fully blurs and I’m yanked from his mind.

“He’s using his signet!” I hear Xaden shout but the blurriness is turning to darkness and I can feel the last of me slipping.

“Youngling?” Desa’s voice comes through as a whisper and try as I might, I can’t reach out to her.

“She fucking yields!” Xaden shouts again.

I hear Emettario’s voice next and then a rush of air fills my lungs, Sebastian no longer above me. I cough, trying to force more air into my lungs as Xaden appears in front of me.

“Are you okay?” He asks, searching me for any signs of bruising around my neck. I nod, coughing more as Xaden turns back to sebastian.

“You’re going to fucking pay, Orbeck.” Xaden’s anger draws him to action and Xaden’s holding a blade to Sebastian’s throat.

Bodhi and Imogen are at my side, pulling me up from the mat as I finally manage a dep breath. Garrick is on Xaden trying to pull him off.

“You know signets aren’t allowed during challenges!” He shouted, putting more weight behind the blade.

“Xaden,” I call, reaching through his door again. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay!” He growls out loud, focused solely on Sebastian. Dammit, he’s going to get me caught.

“If you keep answering me out loud, you’re not going to be able to protect me. Now let him go.” With a reluctant huff, Xaden backs the blade away and stands but not before slamming Sebastian’s head into the ground, knocking him out cold.

Once I felt the soft comfort of my bed, I curled into it immediately. I closed my eyes, hoping and praying that Xaden wouldn’t bring up the events from the training room.

“Your signet manifested.” Okay, nevermind then. I peek through one open eye, to see the door closed, and with the wards Xaden placed on my room I was essentially safe in here. Unless Xaden decides to turn me in.

“It did.” I say softly, closing the one eye and burying my head in my pillow, fighting off the throbbing headache that usually comes after using my signet.

“How long?” He presses. I know he cares, but god can he please just not– “How long, Wrenley?”

I sigh, sitting up and sliding to the edge of the bed. “Desa said it manifested right before the attack in October. I noticed weird things happening right before the incident with the inntinnsic in Battle Brief. I wanted to talk to you that day but then he died and I– I got scared.” I take a deep breath, trying to read Xaden’s emotions but he’s stone cold. “Speaking in people’s minds? That's new.” I tell him, the relief of someone knowing lifting all of the weight I’d been carrying.

“You’ve been doing it since the beginning,” Desa reports, I can almost feel her shrug. “Everyone is either oblivious to the fact that your mouth didn’t move or it blended in with their own thoughts flawlessly. It was honestly kind of impressive when that happened.”

“Excuse me?”

“What type of inntinnsic are you?” Xaden questions, his hard gaze boring into every hole in my soul. “And answer truthfully, since you’ve been lying to me for weeks.”

I should’ve told him from the get go. I knew this would turn on me eventually. Inntinnsics can’t be trusted, it’s why they’re killed. “At first, it was just being able to slip ideas into minds, make someone move a certain way without knowing it wasn’t them. Desa and I have been practicing late at night, but she’s kinda over being a puppet.”

“Shit,” Xaden finally breathes and I scoff at his reaction.

“Yea shit. I’ve been pretending to be signetless for 2 months. It’s fucking hard when you’re constantly jumping into someone’s head on accident.” The fear of getting caught is festering in my head. “I’m scared Xaden. I’d never hurt anyone, but I don’t want to die because they can’t see the good in my ability.”

“I know, I know.” He paces my room, tendrils of shadows swirling around him as he gets lost in thought. “I just…” He pauses, looking over at me and his eyes soften. He settles beside me on the bed, pulling my hands into his. “I’ll help you practice, and we’ll make sure that you have enough control to keep it hidden.” It's a gentle promise, one his eyes promise back to me. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you.” He whispers, lips pressed to my temple as he pulls me closer.

I lean further into his hold, smiling at the smallest flicker of hope. The small promise of tomorrow. “I know.”

April 633 AU

“Stop sending your shadows to wrap around my ankles. It’s highly distracting,” I call across the open channel between Xaden and I, my voice a blend of annoyance and amusement.

Thanks to the practice Xaden's been giving me, I figured out that if I left a door open we could talk back and forth like we do with our dragon's, and it's been interesting to say the least.

I can feel the smirk that surely makes its way onto Xaden's face behind me just from the words he passes to me. “I could do a few other things with them instead if you prefer?”

His mastery of his signet had evolved into an art form, and I had grown all too aware of the power he wielded. The moments of lost control like my first day at Basgiath long behind us. Now, a stray shadow or two from Xaden's will? Well, I don't entirely hate the surprise.

“Maybe if you’re good, I’ll let you tie me up with them later,” I counter, I turn to send him a wink and he chuckles. I could get lost in the carefree look on his face right now, but Professor Devera’s voice pulls my attention. 

“Something you’d like to share with the class, Cadet Tavis?” 

My cheeks flushed as I turned back around. “No ma’am.” 

"It would be wise to get your attention forward in my class, wouldn’t want to be sent to the front unprepared." I nod, and Professor Devera returns to her lecture. The classroom shifted its focus back to the front, yet my mind lingered on the shadows now coiling around my knees. As she jotted down notes, I allowed my finger to idly drift through the mist.

Suddenly, I’m no longer looking down at my notebook. The world around me blurs, colors smearing like watercolor paint on canvas, and in the blink of an eye, I find myself in my room and then my notebook returns and I'm back in the classroom.

What was that? The disorientation makes my heart race as I shake it off, forcing my focus back to the notes sprawled before me. Yet, as I try to ground myself, the image crashes back in, but this time, it morphs into something far more sinister—no longer just a fleeting thought but a vivid nightmare looming at the edges of my consciousness.

“What’s little Signetless gonna do? Take on five cadets at once?” The taunting voices cut through the air like a knife. My breath quickens as I whirl around, the laughter ringing hollow and mocking. I see them now, the familiar figures of my peers, their faces twisted with a cruel blend of amusement and malice, surrounding me like a pack of hungry wolves closing in on their prey. 

“We can’t let you keep going. Weakest links need to be weeded out.” Their words drip with venom, and my pulse thrums in my ears as I watch them brandish their weapons. My instincts scream at me to flee, but I’m frozen, spinning in a frantic circle, desperately trying to keep my eyes on each one of them. The walls seem to close in, and the air grows thick. I reach for a dagger, the familiar weight of my weapon something I instinctively crave for reassurance, but my sheaths are empty. 

“Don’t worry, we’ll make it quick, after we have a little fun.” 

I’m dragged from the vision by the sound of wood scraping across wood, my heart pounding.

“What was that?” I stammer, reaching for Desa through the bond. All I can feel are the gazes of my classmates, all eyes on me, their expressions a mix of curiosity and disdain. 

“Your second signet,” she replies, her tone dripping with smugness. “Two rare signets. Perfect for you.” 

“What. The. Fuck?” My mind races, grappling with her words while dread coils tight in my stomach.

“Cadet Tavis? Is everything alright?” The voice cuts through the haze of confusion, pulling me from the spiraling thoughts that threaten to consume me. As I look up, the classroom blurs into focus, the eyes of my peers fixed on me with an intensity that feels both invasive and unnerving.

“I’m sorry, can I be excused?” I plead, my voice a fragile whisper laced with urgency as I direct my gaze toward Professor Devera. I can feel the heat of embarrassment creeping up my neck, but there’s a deeper dread clawing at my insides, compelling me to escape this moment. 

“Very well.” She brushes me off with a wave of her hand, her attention already drifting back to the lecture that is so far from my mind. I gather my belongings hastily, fingers trembling as they race to shove my things into my bag. 

“Wren, what's going on?” Garrick’s voice breaks through from the row behind me, concern etched deeply into his brow. Bodhi and Imogen echo his question, their faces a blend of worry and confusion as I move toward the door. Xaden’s shadows still weave through the air, a comforting presence that tingles against my skin, urging me forward as I reach for the doorknob.

“Make up some bullshit about checking on me. Something’s wrong,” I whisper urgently, barely able to form coherent thoughts as panic constricts my chest.

I manage to cover ten feet before the familiar pull of my vision yanks me back into a disturbing memory. My heart races as scenes flash before my eyes—those cadets, their laughter ringing in my ears, the cruel mockery in their tone as they paint a vivid picture of my helplessness. I see the blade gleaming menacingly, then feel a visceral jolt as it pierces my chest, right over my heart. I scramble back, disoriented, desperate to escape this nightmare.

“Wren– Wrenley, it's me! It's me!” A voice breaks through the chaos, and my vision finally sharpens to reveal Xaden, his expression a mix of fear and urgency. “What’s going on?” His concern feels palpable, wrapping around me like a lifeline, but the words catch in my throat. How do I articulate the horrors I’ve just witnessed?

“Precognition, Wise One,” By the Gods, does Desa just know fucking everything? "I do."

“Can I have 5 minutes where you aren’t in my head?!” I shout, my hand instinctively rising to my pounding temple. 

“Wren?” Xaden’s voice softens, pulling me back from the brink of my spiraling thoughts. For a fleeting moment, the world narrows, and I forget he’s here.

“Something’s going to happen to me if we don’t stop it.” 

I recounted the events in my vision to Xaden who was quick to formulate a plan. He even enlisted Garrick and Bodhi to roam the halls without exposing my signets.

As the night stretched on, the anxiety of what could be looming before us covered the room in silence. Xaden spent most of the night pacing which did nothing to ease my mind. And near the early hours of morning, when the knob turned on my door, our plan was quickly in action. I turned to face away from the door while Xaden used his signet to hide in the shows as five figures crept into my room. I kept still, waiting for the moment that Xaden stepped in. Then I felt the hand on my ankle and I'm dragged to the edge before I could even scream.

“Did you think you were clever?” Xaden's voice sliced through the air and shadows reach for the throats of the intruders. "It’s unlawful to attack another cadet while they sleep,” he declared, his voice dripping with malice and as quick as a snap, the five cadets were on the ground, lifeless.

Garrick and Bodhi came running in, their expressions both shocked and relieved, eyes bouncing between the bodies, Xaden, and myself. 

“Remind me to stay on your good side,” Bodhi mutters, shaking off a shiver as he and Garrick begin removing the bodies.

“You okay?” Xaden asks, his entire demeanor shifting from the man I saw kill 5 people, to my Xaden and the way he looks at me? Gods, am I turned on right now? 

“And if I said that was one of the hottest things you’ve ever done?” 

“I’d do it again in a heartbeat to protect you.” 

next part

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[intracunte]

part 1

pairing: switch!choso x switch!fem!reader

cw: anal fingering + toy usage (butt plug), cum as lube, (choso receiving lolol), handjob, implied previous orgasms (duh this is a part 2), begging, a few uses of mommy, the tiniest bit of crying, mentioned cunnilingus but it doesn't happen, pet names (i.e: pretty boy, baby), squirting, piv, unprotected/ raw sex, cowgirl turned doggystyle turned prone-bone, (bye can u tell im ovulating) sub!choso to dom! choso, dom!reader to sub!reader.

wc: 1.6k (not bad for this to literally be straight up porn)

an: was gonna make this part gender neutral too but my mommy kink kinda took over sry sry sry :3!! when i say that u nd choso r switches i literally mean ts, like yall did a fulllll 180. anyways i had fun writing this so i hope u have fun reading it <3 (also endings a little bit rushed cs i wanted to hurry up nd post it)

“hey cho? do me a favor & spread your legs, we’re not done yet.” you purred with a sadistic grin.

he did just as you had asked & spread his legs, still keeping his eyes shut. you pressed the tip of your lubricated middle finger against his tight rim, his eyes shooting open as you slowly sunk it inside.

he gasped with an arch of his back as you instantly curled your finger, already knowing where his g-spot was & pressing up against it with just the right amount of pressure. after giving him a few moments to adjust to the intrusion, you began thrusting your finger in & out of him.

his toes curled as he bit his bottom lip, attempted to conceal his nothing short of slutty moans. you’d both done anal + other things alike enough to know just how good it felt for him & how quickly he could cum from it.

“don’t hide your pretty sounds from me baby,” you cooed after you eased your ring finger in, alongside your middle. you smirked as his moans grew audibly louder at the stretch of both digits inside him.

he hadn’t realized it yet, but you weren’t just fingering him to get him off, you were actually prepping him to take something much better. you allowed spit to gather in your mouth before opened your mouth & let it ooze down onto his pretty, leaking cock.

he threw his head back against the pillow once you began jerking him off again, your spit acting as lubricant as you payed extra attention to his sensitive tip. you knew his body & you knew it well, with the we he was clenching down on you fingers; practically sucking them in, & how much louder his moans were starting to become you could tell he was just moments away from cumming again.

“you gonna cum again pretty boy?” you purred, clearly already knowing that you knew the answer, he nodded frantically nonetheless, too blissed out to use his words.

“beg for it then.” you replied cruelly as you sped both of your hands up, getting him closer & making it harder for him to hold back.

“p-please… don’t stop— m’s-so close! so fucking close!” he moaned , attempting to thrust his hips upwards to meet your hand that jerked him off at an intense speed, his movements clumsy & uncoordinated.

you rolled your eyes before stating, “i know you can do better than that cho,”. he whined as his impending orgasm began growing in nearness. “pleeease! i’ve been s-so good! j-just let me cu—“ his begging was cut short by a particularly loud moan as you pressed in a 3rd finger into him.

“i never told you to stop begging,” you said sadistically, slowing down your movements, threatening to stop completely. he gasped before begging more frantically, “wait! don’t stop… p-please, i need it so, so fucking bad! oh fuck— please just let me cum! i-i’ll do anything mommy please! i’m—i’m begging you, please, please make me cum mommy!”

once he’d finished his begging & pleading, you looked deep in thought; as if weighing your options. he waited patiently for you answer, unintentionally squirming against your hold.

“go ahead pretty boy, cum for mommy!” you hummed, & he did just that, the coil that you had built up in his abdomen finally snapping. his eyes screwed shut as his hips thrusted up into your soft hand, his hole clenching down on your other as you pressed your skilled fingers directly onto his prostate.

a few tears were shed whilst you murmured quiet praises to him as he rode out his high. his cock twitched as his cum milk white cum oozed out of his pink tip, the hot & sticky substance spilling down onto your fingers that wrapped around his base.

he shuddered & whimpered your name a few times as the last few bits of his seed squirted out, a few globs landing on his abs. his eyes were still shut, though not as tightly as before, so you slowly eased your fingers out of him, his now stretched hole clenching around nothing and he whined at the new feeling of emptiness.

you scooped up the cum that sat on his abdomen & grabbed something that he hadn’t spotted before you sat down; a heart shaped butt plug with a pretty blue gem. you messily covered the plug in his seed onto the plug before placing it up to his rim; sliding it inside of him with no problem.

he gasped at the cold object that settled in his ass, the toy pressing directly on his prostrate. “i thought we were done,” he whined.

“done? we’re just getting started baby!” you exclaimed, pulling out a small remote from seemingly nowhere. he tilted his head in confusion, wondering what it could’ve connected to, he didn’t have to wonder for much longer as you pressed a single button & it began vibrating at a constant speed.

after he came for the second time, his cock began softening a bit but it shot back up almost instantly at the feeling of his g-spot getting vibrated into oblivion.

“you seriously don’t understand how fucking wet i am for you right now baby,” you say as you straddle him, your thighs on either side of his own, “i planned on just having you eat me out… but honestly fuck that— i need you inside of me!”

as you sat he caught a glimpse of your panties, you were wearing his favorite pair; the white lace pair with the baby blue bow on it. you pulled your panties to the side, too needy & desperate to fully take them off & waste any more time.

you then fixed your position as to where you could sink down on his cock, not needing any lube due to how much your previous activities aroused you. the both of you moaned loudly once his thick cock slipped fully inside.

you placed your hands on his pecs & his veiny hands found your hips, squeezing the fat of them before you began moving your hips. you started off slow, trying to find a rhythm that worked for both you & choso.

you could tell he began to grow impatient with your deliberately slow pace as the grip on your hips impossibly tighter. he then planted his feet on the bed before fucking jackhammering up into your sopping pussy.

he hissed in pleasure as you unintentionally squeezed his pecs as to maintain your stability. you honestly had no idea what happened, it was like a switch had flipped inside of his mind. was this the same man you were just teasing & edging for hours on end? the same man who was just moaning like a slut for you & calling you mommy? he literally has a vibrating heart shaped butt plug in his ass as we speak! a thousand questions ran through your head but they all soon faded away as your brain turned to mush & all you could truly think about was his fat cock that relentlessly pounded into your weeping cunt.

the sound of skin slapping together to a point it was almost painful & loud pornographic moans filled the air, along with the heavy scent of sex. sweat dripped down both of your frames & your mouth went dry from hanging open for so long.

“ch-cho! baby— i-i need to lay down,” you rasped, almost instantly & without words he flipped the two of over, he pulled his dick out of your cunt & it clenched around nothing before he flipped you over & onto your stomach.

he pulled you up by your hips & pushed your lower back in, arching it just the way he liked it. he slapped your ass harshly before completely bottoming out again. choso’s thrusts were still as fast & brutal as before, your cheeks jiggling at the impact.

though your face was buried in the pillow, your loud moans could still be heard. your pussy clenched around his shaft impossibly tighter, signaling that your were close to climaxing.

he adjusted the position of his dick so now he was pounding directly into your g-spot at a rapid pace. you were sure your cervix would be hurting for days after this but that didn’t matter to you, at the moment you were literally on cloud 9.

choso hooked his arm around your hips & began toying with your clit, sending you over the edge. it was no surprise to him when a clear liquid began streaming of your cunt. he huffed in amusement whilst you experienced possibly the most powerful orgasm of you life.

your legs shook & your cunt fluttered around his shaft, his cockhead still mercilessly bullied your cervix but you felt his hips falter a bit, signaling that he must’ve been close.

even after that overwhelming orgasm, you still tried to hold yourself up & maintain your arch but unfortunately, you couldn’t. your legs grew weak & eventually gave out. you plopped down on the bed, about to apologize, but your fall didn’t stop choso.

he straightened his legs, placing his hands on either sides of your head & began fucking you in a new position like his life depended on it. you honestly couldn’t even register anything due to his mind numbing thrusts.

a loud groan escaped his mouth as the feeling of your warm cunt & the vibrating plug nestled within him soon become too much to bare as the pace of his thrusts faltered ever so slightly & he came again.

feeling too much euphoria to pull out, choso’s hips stilled completely as ropes of his seed spilled deep inside of you. he moaned loudly as the toy pulsated & your cunt clenched & milked him for everything he had.

[fiamat12]

Re: The Spaces Inbetween - Part 2

I had a discussion w/ an Anon in Discord today about how L has likely been there bts w/ N at most events and how little he's been around A. In Round 1, he had to drag A along for a few weeks, but thankfully friends were around and def. separate rooms. Round 2 has been even less w/ a few hours a night for several events and then back to N & baby Newts.

As I always say, it's the spaces inbetween - what you DON'T SEE - that matters.

Starting in August, after Round 1 was over, we can see how JD helped as a decoy for L, as did Temu Luke & others. Back rooms/ entrances (as Tom Holland has mentioned are available to celebs) and industry events where L could blend in helped, I'm sure. Nobody would much pay attn. to L when Rihanna is on the red carpet... 🫣

Here's a breakdown of the possibilities:

• End of August - Malta, JD as decoy 🇲🇹

• Sept. 15 - Emmys in LA, JVN as decoy (L starring as The Wordle) 🖊

• Sept. 20- Gucci show in Milan, Temu Luke as decoy, HD also there 😎

• Sept. 21 - Chappell Roan Concert, N's friend group there, incl. JD; not one fan video taken, just JD being a pretty princess 🤠

• Oct. 1 - Glamour Awards, N walked the red carpet w/ SA; not sure they were hiding this one w/ L's hands in the pic. of N getting ready 📱🤏

• Oct. 4 -11- NYC trip, JD as decoy (I will die on the Long Legs T-shirt decoy hill! Lol)👕

• Nov. 5 - Harper's Bazaar Awards, JR as decoy, GR also there (L could've skipped this one, prepping for and/ or already in Rome for WM 👽 + paps were getting loud)

• Nov. 18- Wicked premiere? 🧙‍♀️ Possible L & N went, although we saw none of the Bridgy cast. Decoy pic w/ N, JD, ERK, Camilla.

• Nov. 21 - Tasaki jewerly event w/ YH (L could've skipped this one, for the girlies) 💍

• Dec. 2 - BFAs, Temu Luke as decoy (L had gone the year prior) 💃

• Dec. 3- Will & Harper screening, not much from this event (L could've been there w/ N as it was a special screening), Dir. GG also there.

• Dec. 5- KS event, L would've had to stay bts, as too many public pics/ vids; owner of their gym & his gf were there. 💪

• Dec. 10 -Queer screening, JD as a decoy (if L back from Rome; ofc, JD also had invested interest in the film 🌈).

• Dec. 12/13 - Graham Norton (yes, L could've been backstage - we'd never know! 🏍)

• Jan. 8 - William Tell premiere, JD as decoy (+ N there to support him; CS is the lead/ his wife was L's costar in TSOT so possible the spouses were there & kept a low profile) 👫👫

• Jan. 13 - Big Boys 3 premiere, JD as decoy (was it not L sitting next to N, and his sis Lauren at the after party? I say yes 😉)

• Jan. 27 - Dior show at PFW. Temu Luke as decoy, Clodagh, HB also there (Note: I apologize to Dylan... he's not just Temu Luke, he's handsome in his own right🧍‍♂️)

• February... well, we know the 2nd round of obligations started and they've done the best they can. Thank God for the SAGs!!! ♡♡♡

[sleepygh0ulia]

. . . Introducing my Monster High DR!!

About This dr takes place in 2005, in New Salem, Virginia. In my dr normies and monsters get along slightly better, enough so that monsters can walk around in public and not get gunned down

🎀 [ABOUT ME ! ]

Name Evangeline Battis Lycan

Nationality American

Birthplace Boo Jersey

Languages English and Italian

Monster Type Werewolf & Vampire

Age 1580

Face Claim

🎀 [BACKSTORY ! ]

My bio parents were a werewolf named Aaron Lycan and a vampire named Carmilla Valira. My mom was good friends with Dracula, so when I was little I’d often have sleepovers at their manor, and hang out with Draculaurs. We were attached at the hip, and got into all kinds of trouble together, we saw each other so much we were practically sisters. When I was 567 (bare with me vampire aging is weird) my parents unfortunately were killed by monster hunters, and per their will, I was taken in by Dracula. While I was devastated that my parents weren’t coming back, being able to live with Draculaura lifted my spirits ever so slightly. I started going to school with Draculaura, before Monster High opened, and since I have the outwardly appearance of a werewolf I got a lot of crap from other students. Though Draculaura was always there to help me feel better, and thankfully after a few years, Monster High opened up, a school for all monsters. It was like a dream come true, I got to stay with my best friend, and meet other monsters in the process.

🎀 [WARDROBE ! ]

A mix of black y2k fashion & aaliyahcore

🎀 [LIFE AT MONSTER HIGH ! ]

Dorms Im ngl I don’t know if G1 monster high has dorms, but I want it to be a boarding school cs this is my dr and I say so. Students are 4 to a dorm, with 4 beds, 2 mini fridges, 4 closets, 2 bathrooms, and 4 desks. You can decorate your dorm however you want, since it’s yours until you graduate. There are 2 different dorm buildings, 1 for the girls and 1 for the boys, each building is separated alphabetically. All students must be in a dorm by 11PM, and failure to do so will result in a 3 day detention (normally served by cleaning) Girls and boys are allowed in each others dorms, but not later than 8pm and you need permission from the headmistress and all room occupants. Same sex sleepovers are allowed but must be approved by the headmistress, and if you don’t get permission, and are caught it’s a 5 day detention.

Extracurriculars

• Art Club

• A/V Club

• Batball

• Chess Club

• Comic Book Club

• Cooking Club

• Environment Club

• Fashion Club

• Fear Squad

• Graveball

• Gymnastics Club

• Mad Science Club

• Monster Exchange Program

• Music Society

• News Paper Club

• Photography Club

• Robotics Club

• Student Disembody Council

• Skultimate Roller Maze

• Swim Team

• Frightingale Society Club

• Track Team

Events

• Valentine’s day dance

• Winter Formal

• Spirit Weeks

• Annual field trips to other monster societies

• Exchange weeks! For two weeks we allow 5 students from Belfry prep, Crescent Moon High, Granite City High, Himalayan High, and Plankton Prep to attend Monster High as regular students, to promote Monster High.

🎀 [OTHER ! ]

Best Friends Draculaura, Clawdeen, Cleo, Operetta, and Venus

S/O Twyla Boogeyman

Also Venus’ design is the G3 cs it eats down

Happy Shifting and Manifesting!!

[e-the-village-cryptid]

On the note of the previous post, if you're part of an underrepresented group in your field in any way and your college/university has a peer tutoring center, please consider becoming a peer tutor! Underrepresented students are already feeling intimidated and alone in class and seeing the opportunity to meet with a tutor like them can really help. All the other CS tutors besides me at my college were men, and women absolutely flocked to my hours. My hours were booked solid the day they were posted each week for the entire year; almost every one of my students were women, and a large majority were Black women. Considering the demographics of the CS major overall— about 25% women and barely 4% Black women, those are some striking statistics. I asked my students about the other resources available; most of them were too intimidated by office hours, TA hours, etc. to go. They felt like those resources weren't for them. There was such a scarcity of spaces where these women felt safe to just go and ask for help and admit to not knowing the things they were embarrassed not to know already. These students were already in a major that felt so much like it wasn't for them that letting anybody see that they didn't understand everything already understandably felt like a threat against their existence in the whole program, felt like a threat of being exposed that just like the whole world seemed to think, they really didn't belong there after all. I watched a visible release of tension and anxiety in each of my students when I told them I also went to a public school that didn't offer CS classes, I also took this class knowing jack shit about any of it, and honestly all the prep school code camp boys are gonna be struggling as much as anyone in a few more weeks, catching up isn't a big deal.

These women really just needed a space where they could need help and ask questions without fearing judgement against their intelligence and belonging. You can be that person, especially especially especially if you're from an underrepresented group yourself. It's tough, because you may also be suffering from that same sense of non-belonging yourself, questioning if you're "good enough" to be a tutor— but remember that what students need isn't some genius who knows the answer to every question off the top of their head, they need someone who's willing to listen and be on their side and help figure it out together. More than anything they just need someone to make that space for them. You can do that!! We've got to stick together and help out the next classes if we want to make ourselves any less underrepresented than we already are. You can be the person you wish you had a couple years ago!

[midnight-mourning]

1000 kudos/100 Follower Special!

wow so um, there’s a LOT of you now

👀👀👀

WHERE DID Y'ALL EVEN COME FROM LIKE?? HI!! 👋👋👋

AND ALSO

THIS???? CRAZY, incredibly appreciated <3 but also wild

anyway, I think that deserves celebrating! So, here’s a couple ideas I came up with for y’all to vote on, with the option of sharing other ideas in the comments, I’ll do the top two and save the others for the next milestone :)

If the 'other' option gets the most/second most votes, I'll do another poll with ideas that people suggested and we'll go from there. You can scroll down and click the read more if you'd like more info on each option! SO, having said all that:

Letting you guys make the call with this one! I have stuff prepped for all of it, just a matter of people voting since this is ME showing my appreciation to YOU. And again, next milestone will have the opportunity for the other choices :)

Also, this isn't just for followers/the moots either! Anyone is welcome to vote and participate if they'd like to 💙💙

Please also feel free to ask questions in the comments if that helps you with voting! Can't wait to see what you guys pick :D

I will expand on each option here for clarity in your decision making:

CS one-shot: I will write a one-shot (3,000-5,000 words prob) based in the CS universe. It will be canon to the fic but will never be mentioned/referenced in the fic itself so stand alone to read. It may be a future scene, may be based somewhere in the current timeline. Open to ideas on the POV and such (though I have some floating around that I can do ;))

Q&A/Ask the Cast: a classic, I know my ask box is open but here's also a clear chance to ask something that you've been really curious about! I won't share spoilers for the story, but everything else is on the table, including stuff about me, writing etc. Just no super personal questions is all! Additionally, you can ask the cast questions and answers will be in character, perhaps with a little doodle as well ^-^

Finished refs/busts for the cast of CS: I'll post the finished versions of the rough sketches I shared a few months ago, along with the remainder of the cast! This includes the rest of the engineering team, the division heads, the glamrocks, and the DCA! I also will include little blurbs for all the characters as well. This will probably happen eventually anyway BUT if you want them sooner rather than later this is you're chance if you're curious :)

Spooky Season one-shot: something halloween-related that again I'm open to ideas for! Would also be about 3,000-5,000 words in length, could be related to CS or not

Writing Requests: similar to the requests I did for reveal day, same rules apply (no nsfw, suggestive is fine, be specific if you want specific) but a little longer in length (500-1000 words)

Doodle requests: I provide you with a little drawing I made with tender love and care (would be lined, colored, shaded, etc.)

A peek into the drafts: I do in fact have a couple other fic ideas floating around in my brain that I simply haven't started so that I don't get bogged down/focus on CS. I would share those and a little bit of concept art

Other: explained above

[sophieinwonderland]

MAGA Propaganda Debunk: "Illinois Students Can't Read"

I came across this post attacking the Department of Education, claiming the Department of Education is a failure because not a single student in these 30 Illinois schools "can read."

Now, there are many reasons why conservatives might be targeting Illinois with this sort of propaganda. It could be because they have it out for Chicago, as a predominantly black city. Or... No. never mind. That's pretty obviously it.

Let's call racism for what it is when we see it. It's racism.

There is a lot wrong with this, so I'm going to break this debunk into multiple parts.

Not being able to read at grade level isn't the same as not being able to read

Let's start with this one.

It is obviously ideal to be able to read at the grade level of the grade that you're actually in... but let's not conflate not being able to read at grade level with not being able to read.

A 7th grader who could read at 6th grade level wouldn't be able to read at "grade level," yet that's a far cry from being illiterate. And I bet a 7th grader reading at a 6th grade level would be able to understand that "reading below grade level" isn't "not being able to read."

The fact that Christian Collins can't tell the difference makes me question what his reading level is. It certainly isn't an adult level. That's for sure!

30 schools out of how many?

Let's start with putting these numbers into context.

There are 3977 schools in Illinois.

These numbers represent less than 1% of the schools in the entire state!

This context is conveniently missing since it would hurt their narrative. 30 schools sounds like a lot when you don't have any idea how many schools are in the state. But that's an illusion!

How many students are attending these schools?

If I mathed correctly, these schools represent 5101 students in Illinois. Again, this sounds like a big number out of context. But the state had 1,925,415 students in 2022. Almost 2 million.

So these schools represent less than 0.3% of the students in the state.

And as deceptive as these number appear, there's an even bigger deception going on here that's inflating the numbers!

YCCS are charter schools for dropouts

Those 12 schools labeled YCCS, making up more than 30 on the list, are the Youth Connection Charter Schools.

Youth Connection Charter School (YCCS) is a charter school in Chicago, Illinois. Founded in 1997 it is the only charter school in Illinois that targets dropouts and other at-risk students. YCCS serves over 3,500 students through 17 campuses throughout Chicago.

So to recap...

These are charter schools, not public schools. The smear against the Department of Education for this is absurd because charter schools exist outside of the state school system. They get some funding from the state, but lack the oversight of actual public schools.

They are targeting at risk youths and dropouts. Basically, the kids going to these particular schools are going BECAUSE THEY AREN'T PERFORMING AT GRADE LEVEL! That's the point of schools like this.

More charter schools

Urban Prep Englewood and Urban Prep Bronxville are Charter Schools as well.

So is North Lawndale.

So is CICS. The CS stands for "charter school."

The YBMC charter school is obviously a charter school. I don't think I even need to source that.

So of the 30 schools in the list, this brings the number of confirmed charter schools to 17. If I haven't missed any, that leaves only 13 public schools in the list. Many of which are vocational and career schools and have a relatively small number of students.

A Man In a Glass House Shouldn't Throw Stones

While Mr. Collins is attacking Illinois, I want to mention this cool map of literacy in America I found. If you notice, most adults are pretty literate in Illinois.

Cook County, where Chicago is located, is slightly worse than the rest of the state with an illiteracy rate of only 25%

But let's go down south to Mr. Collins' home state with counties like this one with an illiteracy rate of 70%!

Most of Texas is dark blue!

I have to wonder why this is? Does it have something to do with the Republican control? Or MAYBE it's the influence of groups like Collins' Texas Youth Summit, dedicated to pushing "judeo-Christian and conservative values" in students.

Let's tell the truth about what this is about!

Christian Collins is from a stupid state filled with illiterate people.

Illiterate people elect conservative politicians.

Collins is targeting Illinois because he wants his stupid racist white voter base to believe that it's actually the largely-black population of Chicago that are the illiterate ones. That's what this is about!

Collins himself is stupid. But I doubt even he's stupid enough to actually think that cutting the department of education will help make people more educated. Rather, he knows it will make people less educated. And as a result, more likely to be conservative and be racist.

Never forget that the people who are trying to convince you that cutting the Department of Education is a good thing for education are always those who benefit most from uneducated voters!

So respectfully, go to Hell Christian Collins!

[stuteetime]

22.02.25 • sat

TODO:

babysit

get through stats lectures:

week 4

week 5

do cs weekly prep:

readings

quiz

code

write something

if I don't get through my week 4 lecture at the very least today I am absolutely doomed.

will update image with forest for the day later !!

progress: good news is cs prep is complete!!!! but the bad news is that was literally the fun part if anything and now I have to battle demons (stats)

[queenofspades2222]

productivity diaries (#24)

i woke up unexpectedly on time and earlier than i had anticipated and that's why i got a lot done today

i finished one chapter in maths , and revised 2 chapters in physics and did physical chemistry and in cs for my exam i am only left with 2 easy topics which i will do tomorrow

i wanted to stay up till 3 today too but even after having coffee i am feeling sleepy and it's only 2 , but it's okay , i will wake up early tomorrow and complete what's left

i realised today that the last month and the previous month were the busiest months and still somehow i really don't know how but i have completed more than 90% of my syllabus for my entrance exam whereas in January i think the problem was that i was anxious and rushing due to less time but this time because i had to manage my other exam prep with my entrance exam prep so i managed and planned everything out well in advance and for that i am proud of myself because even if i took 2 hours to plan this month , i somehow did it really well:))

also, learnt it the hard way but honestly, quantity is not always equal to quality and this month i have been studying for an average of 8 hours per day and still got everything done, so yes, finally, it's not always about studying 12hrs a day

total study time: 8hrs...

[transiently-studying]

dont have the energy to jump into it rn so i will use the momentum from boards and study cs today, then ease into mains prep by tomorrow or day after

[laurelnose]

i saw an essay when Book of Hours came out that said the Librarian was different from the Cultist because the Cultist has no friends and is just holed up somewhere pursuing higher mysteries while using people as ritual parts, while the Librarian is a member of the community at Brancrug. (It was hilarious how fast BoH swung the fandom consensus on the Cultist from “they’re pretty competent” to “oh the Cultist is a fucking idiot,” lmfao.) anyways uhh they’re right but since House of Light came out I have realized that I like playing BoH exactly the same way I play CS, which is to say I hole up in my big weird house for days on end shuffling my card decks and forgetting other people exist, only to be unpleasantly surprised when the season changes and someone shows up at my door. community what community. The Deep Mysteries need to be shelved.

[very mild, largely mechanical House of Light spoilers to follow]

salons are pretty fun once you’ve got enough resources to not feel squeezed about them though. They take a lot of prep and you have to time your invitations correctly so that your visitors arrive while you’re still flush with soul, but I do enjoy the conversation with the guests. and it does feel nice to be able to write to visitors, even if I’m not doing it very often. like the Librarian really is connected to the outside world and not just hopelessly unmoored from other people at Hush House, at the mercy of whoever randomly bothers to make the trek out to Brancrug. I’m still spending most of my money on Unusual Help and haven’t been able to budget much for dishes but I’m almost done unlocking the House and will soon be able to buy much more food. I like that lessons are now functionally infinite and I don’t have to worry about trying to get the timing right for Numa lessons anymore. I’ve not done a lot of incident follow-up (Spencer is coming next Numa and he will be my first) but I think I shall have to prioritize doing more of them. And I shall have to find out if my Numa incident can be followed up on too, once it concludes.

[“how have you been playing for a week and still haven’t concluded any incidents” I am BEING ANTISOCIAL, as previously established.]

i am so sad that Numa visitors don’t leave calling cards. I understand why but the only thing I really wanted from the visitors update was the ability to make Julian Coseley show up whenever I want. 😭 Can you host a salon during Numa if you are careful with your invitation timing?? I will have to check if the Numa guests have food preference aspects.

two final things. 1) please let me buy eggs oh my god. eggs require three soul cards (collect vegetable sack. feed chicken. collect egg from chicken) which considering that the going rate for a soul card at the Sweet Bones is 12p and that you can’t multitask with beasts e.g. feeding Tuppence while collecting from Terrence, makes eggs one of THEE most complicated and expensive ingredients to obtain. It’s more straightforward to collect from the gulls but considering the pull rate is 33% eggs, that’s still basically three soul cards per egg, this time with aspect constraints! I will pay fucking spintriae for eggs, just let me use currencyyyyy. 2) the fucking shelving system is still giving me fits, I think it’s been improved somewhat for the books (I didn’t play the Daymare update so IDK if it was that or HoL) but where the hell am I supposed to put ANYTHING else. When I order all the ingredients I need for cooking, where do they go, the fucking bridge? Gross! Immersion-breaking! I need more pantry space.

(I unfortunately have limited patience for the shelf thing. The most concrete manifestation of my COVID trauma is I can’t STAND irregularly shaped shelves anymore. Circulation dropped by >70% during lockdown and took years to recover. Public library collections are sized with the expectation that a certain percentage of the collection will live with patrons; we were not and still aren’t equipped to house our entire collection in-house. I spent a year of my life jury-rigging shelves to get things to fit. The bane of my existence became shelves so specifically designed for a certain type of media that they couldn’t be extended or repurposed for other things. Having to constantly shuffle books around between ~aesthetic~ little nooks isn’t cute or cozy, it’s just bad fucking library design. When the shelving mechanic on BoH works it’s a thing of beauty but there are simply NOT ENOUGH SHELVES. I just want to fit my reasonably-sized collection on one screen. Also the scrolls should stack on top of each other. Catch my Librarian spending their stipend on ripping out the entire Westcott Room and redoing it for space efficiency)