#cuz i guess things just crystallized over her

[bright-and-burning]

the charles pics w the big pants and the big blue top like im sorry but he looks like he’s about to tell me where i can get the good gabagool in town completely unprompted

[yamujiburo]

Ketchum vs. Ketchum! Showdown in Cerulean City!

Woo! Finale time! I wanted to make this final battle feel special and give it more substance than I could do with just a comic. So! I got the help of @cyberwulf to write out this ending in fanfic form! Check it out here on AO3 if you prefer! If not, the journey continues below the cut~

prev / END

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James Sidestory / Meowth Sidestory

A lot has happened since our Poké Moms began their journey. After a rocky start…

“*SQUAWK*”

…they’ve managed to catch some new Pokémon…

“Run! Run! Run!”

…in their own way.

“What a cute baby! You know, I have a son, too!”

With their month on the road almost up, Delia had just one more thing she wanted to do…

“I want to beat the Cerulean City Gym!”

But little did Delia know, there was a surprise waiting for her in Cerulean City!

“MOM??? JESSIE???”

“Let’s have a double battle! You and Ash versus Jessie and I!”

“You’re on! But I’m not going easy on you just cuz you’re family!”

“…What’s going on?”

Poké Mom Adventures

EP009

Ketchum vs Ketchum! Showdown in Cerulean City!

The water of the Cerulean gym battlefield glistened in the sunshine streaming through its crystal glass roof. Both teams gazed at each other with steely determination (and some lingering confusion, in Misty’s case) as above them, the Drone Rotom announced the rules.

“This will be a double battle between Gym Leader Misty and Champion Ash, and the challengers Delia and Jessie.” It projected a holographic image of both teams. “For today’s battle, each trainer may use two Pokémon. The battle is over when all of one team’s Pokémon can no longer battle.”

“All right!” Misty declared. “This is an official League battle for the Cascade badge!”

“And bragging rights!” Jessie added with a smirk.

“We’ll see about that!” Ash retorted. Misty glanced at him, taking in his clenched fists and gritted teeth. She’d seen Ash determined before, but… there was something here that she was missing. However, with the Drone Rotom hovering expectantly overhead, finding out what that something was would have to wait.

“Come out – Corsola!”

The Coral Pokémon landed on the rock in front of her, eagerly crying its name.

“This is a water-themed gym, so I’ll go with a Water-Type,” Ash remarked. “Oshawott, I choose you!”

“That’s the spirit, Ash!” Misty exclaimed. “It’s the job of a Gym Leader to help trainers learn type advantage and weaknesses by specialising in one kind of Pokémon, and around here that’s Water-Types!”

“Water, huh?” Jessie frowned as she considered the three Pokémon she had on hand. “Well, I don’t want my delicate little Ziggy to get her fur wet.” With a flourish, she tossed a Pokéball high in the air. “Go, Venomoth!”

The Poison Moth Pokémon emerged, hovering over the water.

“It’s a shame we don’t have any Grass or Electric-types,” Delia mused. “I guess we’ll just have to do our best with what we have.” Pushing her bangs out of her face, she called, “I choose you!”

Ash and Misty’s jaws dropped as the light from Delia’s Pokéball coalesced into a very large, very stern-looking Kangaskhan.

“I didn’t know your mom had such a strong Pokémon,” Misty whispered.

“Neither did I,” Ash whispered back. Movement at the corner of his eye caught his attention and he looked down at his starter Pokémon. “Something wrong, Pikachu?”

“Pika…”

Pikachu gazed across the water at Kangaskhan, ears and tail up, alert to… something. But before anyone could figure out what had caught his attention, there was a small cry.

“Kangaskhan!”

The baby squirmed, spooked by the glistening water lapping all around the rock. She buried her face in her mother’s belly and cried again. Cradling her young protectively, Kangaskhan gave Delia an apologetic look.

“Oh, of course!” Delia exclaimed. “I’m so sorry. Kangaskhan, return.” Cupping her hands around her mouth, she called across the battlefield. “That doesn’t count as one of my Pokémon, does it?”

“Of course not, Ms. Ketchum!” Misty shouted back. “Please choose another Pokémon!”

“If she’s got one,” Ash said with a confident smirk. “I’m betting she’ll send out Mimey.”

“I choose you… Clefairy!”

“Looks like you bet wrong, Ash,” Misty laughed as Ash stared in surprise at the Fairy Pokémon.

Above them, the Drone Rotom moved into position.

“Begin!”

“All right, Oshawott!” Ash called out. “Open up with an Aqua Jet!”

With a determined cry, Oshawott blasted a jet of water across the field, hitting Clefairy square in the belly and knocking the Fairy Pokémon off the rock and into the water.

“Ash Ketchum!” Delia exclaimed reproachfully. “That wasn’t very nice!”

Thrown off-guard, Ash gulped. “S-sorry!” (Oh man - I can’t believe I’m actually battling my mom!)

On the opposite side of the battlefield, a wet and bedraggled Clefairy clambered back up on the rock ridge, scowling at her attacker.

“Shake it off, Clefairy!” Delia urged as her Pokémon did just that, sending a fine shower of water droplets flying from her pink fur. “Use Disarming Voice!”

With a deep breath, Clefairy shot a vortex of pink hearts towards Oshawott, taking the Sea Otter Pokémon by surprise and knocking him into the water.

“Good work, Deerling!” Jessie shouted triumphantly. “Now it’s my turn!” She pointed at Corsola. “Venomoth, use Poison Sting!”

Venomoth hovered uncertainly for a few moments, then looked back at her.

“It doesn’t look like Venomoth knows that move, honey,” Delia remarked.

“Well, Dustox knew that move!” Jessie protested. “Venomoth should know it too, aren’t they both Bug-types?”

Venomoth just blinked at her.

“You really don’t know what moves your Pokémon knows?” Misty asked incredulously.

“Of course I do, just – just let me think!” Jessie spluttered, clenching her fists. “All right, Venomoth – use Gust!”

Venomoth didn’t move.

“Whirlwind!” Jessie tried. “Psybeam! …Tackle?”

Venomoth looked back and forth between Jessie and the battlefield as it fluttered about agitatedly, utterly confused by the barrage of unfamiliar orders.

“This is just sad,” Misty muttered, getting a nod of agreement from Ash. Raising her voice, she called out, “Corsola! Use Spike Cannon!”

Corsola glowed, and a split second later a shower of glowing white spikes slammed into Venomoth, driving it backwards towards the trainer box.

“Oh, no!” Delia groaned in dismay, wringing her hands. “Maybe we should’ve practiced with our new Pokémon before coming here!”

“We’re not giving up!” Jessie snarled, clenching her fists. “Venomoth! Get back out there!”

With a trill, Venomoth shook off the spikes, and floated towards its opponents again.

“Corsola!” Misty called. “Hit it with another Spike Cannon!”

Corsola began to glow.

“Well don’t just hover there!” Jessie barked out. “It’s about to attack again!” Venomoth looked back at her, and Jessie gestured angrily towards the battlefield. “Just do something! Anything!”

Once more, glowing white spikes shot towards Venomoth. This time, however, Venomoth dove towards the attack, sweeping its wings in front of itself at the last minute. Blue blades of light cut through the barrage of spikes, one hitting Corsola and driving it back.

“That’s Air Slash!” Ash exclaimed.

“Air Slash, eh?” Jessie shot her opponents a triumphant smirk. “Venomoth! Use Air Slash on that pitiful pink Pokémon again!”

“Hang in there, Corsola!” Misty called as her Pokémon was driven back for a second time. “Use Recover!”

“Don’t let it recover, Venomoth!” Jessie yelled. “Air Slash again!”

As her Pokémon geared up for another attack, she noticed Delia gazing at her in rapture.

“You’re so ferocious when you battle, Smoochum,” Delia remarked dreamily. She lowered her voice, waggling her eyebrows. “It’s kinda hot.”

Jessie blushed and giggled. “Baaabe, not in front of the twerps.”

Misty wrinkled her nose in disgust. “…Smoochum?”

“Freak out later, Misty!” Ash yelled. Venomoth was bearing down on Corsola, and the Coral Pokémon didn’t have much left. “Oshawott! Use Hydro Pump on Venomoth to protect Corsola!”

Leaping high into the air, Oshawott sent a powerful jet of water directly at Jessie’s Venomoth. With a cry, the Poison Moth hit the floor between Jessie and Delia, bounced once, and fainted.

“Hey, no fair!” Jessie bellowed, stamping her foot. “I was distracted!” She recalled Venomoth with a scowl. “I ought to ground you for making me look bad!”

“This is really weird,” Misty mumbled.

“You have no idea,” Ash sighed wearily.

“All right, you big blue blob,” Jessie growled to her faithful Patient Pokémon, “get out there and let’s win this thing!”

Saluting, Wobbuffet waddled forward, straight into the water. Jessie pinched the bridge of her nose as Wobbuffet awkwardly clambered up onto the protruding rock.

“Wobbles can’t attack unless he’s attacked first,” Delia murmured to herself. “Oshawott is strong, and Corsola can use Recover to gain back health. That means I’ve got to make this next move count!” She looked to Clefairy, wet and winded but not out of the battle. It was risky, but…

“Clefairy! Use Metronome!”

“Metronome?!” Misty exclaimed as Clefairy began to move her fingers hypnotically back and forth. “Now anything can happen!”

“Hold tight, everybody!” Ash called, just as the Fairy Pokémon’s fingers turned white.

Razor-sharp leaves whipped through the air, striking Oshawott and Corsola. The Grass-Type move was too much for the dual Rock/Water Type, and Corsola collapsed into the water, fainted. Oshawott was driven back against the rock ridge, and Ash held his breath, but the Drone Rotom only counted Corsola out.

“Oshawott! You hanging in there, buddy?”

With a grimace, the Sea Otter Pokémon gave him a determined nod. “Osha!”

“Ha!” Jessie cried triumphantly. “Now we’re even!” She clenched her fists, calling tauntingly across the battlefield. “Who’s next, twerpette? Togepi? Psyduck?”

“She sure is cocky for being down to just Wobbuffet,” Ash muttered.

“Not for long,” Misty replied with a smirk. She plucked her second Pokéball from her hip.

“Go – Gyarados!”

Delia’s eyes widened and Jessie took several steps back as the gigantic Pokémon appeared in the water. It glowered down at both trainers, making Delia swallow hard.

(Now’s not the time to lose my nerve! Gyarados is just a Pokémon like any other. All I have to do is-)

“Hey!” Jessie exclaimed angrily. “No fair using such a powerful Pokémon! What, are Staryu and Starmie at the Pokémon Centre or something?!”

Taken aback, Misty gaped at the former Team Rocket member in disbelief. “Since when do you care about playing fair?”

“Since you decided to use that monstrosity on a first-time trainer!” Jessie retorted with a shake of her fist. “That’s cheating!”

Misty paused, almost second-guessing her choice of Pokémon, when she remembered who she was dealing with. Squaring her shoulders, she shot back, “You’re not a first-time trainer!”

“Could’ve fooled me,” Ash muttered.

“I heard that!” Jessie bawled.

“It’s okay, honey,” Delia murmured, placing her hand on Jessie’s shoulder. “We can beat them. We just need to use strategy!”

“Gyarados!” Misty called out. Jessie may not have been the best trainer, and her track record with him was hit or miss, but Wobbuffet could reflect almost any attack. It might just have been luck, but Clefairy’s Metronome had taken out Corsola and left Oshawott just barely hanging on. There was only one choice of target.

“Use Hurricane on Clefairy, now!”

Rearing back, Gyarados shot a powerful blast of air directly at the Fairy Pokémon, sending her flying back to the trainer box.

“Oh no!” Delia cried. She knelt by her stricken Pokémon’s side, but it was obvious even without Drone Rotom saying so that Clefairy couldn’t continue. “You did a wonderful job, Clefairy.” Recalling her Pokémon, she rose, pushed her bangs out of her eyes, and called her second Pokémon.

“Mimey, I choose you!”

Ash clenched his fists. No more surprises – he knew what Mimey was capable of. Oshawott was tough, but he’d taken a lot of damage. If the Sea Otter Pokémon only had one move left, then Ash had to make it count.

“Oshawott! Hit Mimey with Aqua Jet!”

“Mimey, dodge it!” Delia cried out.

The Barrier Pokémon leapt high in the air, leaving Ash to watch, powerless, as Aqua Jet splashed harmlessly on the ground between his mother and Jessie. But before he could call out another attack –

“Now, Mimey, Focus Punch on Oshawott!”

There was no time for Oshawott to get out of the way. Mimey dove straight down, fist outstretched, and scored a direct hit. Both Pokémon vanished underwater. All four trainers held their breath. After a few seconds, Mimey burst out of the water, effortlessly leaping onto the rock. A moment later Oshawott floated to the surface, fainted.

“Good work, Oshawott,” Ash murmured as he recalled his Pokémon. He turned to Pikachu. “Looks like my mom’s a tougher trainer than I thought. You ready, Pikachu?”

The yellow mouse nodded, one tiny fist raised. “Pika!”

“You be nice to us now, Pikachu!” Delia cheered brightly.

Jessie was less optimistic.

“Babe, this isn’t looking good,” she murmured urgently. “I’ve been beaten by that Pikachu a zillion times! And that Gyarados looks strong. And mean! I don’t know if…”

She trailed off as the other woman took her hands.

“Now you listen to me, Jessie Ketchum.” Delia gazed into her eyes, a look of fierce determination on her face. “A zillion battles. A zillion losses. Against that very Pikachu. And you never gave up. So you’re not gonna give up now! Okay?”

Jessie stared back at her. Time seemed to stand still. Delia’s fingers were warm on her own as her words of encouragement hung in the air.

“Jessie… Ketchum?”

With the briefest of nods, Delia turned to face their opponents.

“Ash honey, don’t you hold back just because I’m your mom!” she called. “We’re going to give it our all, even if we lose!”

“She’s a lot like you, Ash,” Misty laughed. As Ash tugged the brim of his hat down to hide his blush, she raised her voice and called to the challengers. “You’re doing great, Ms. Ketchum! I’m really impressed by your abilities as a trainer. Now show me you’re worthy of the Cascade badge!”

“Hey!” Jessie yelled indignantly. “What am I, chopped liver?! My Venomoth pushed your Corsola to the brink!”

Misty grimaced. This was all still too strange – Jessie was a good guy? Jessie and Ash’s mom were… partners? She struggled for something positive to say about Jessie’s performance so far.

“Uh – yeah!” she managed. “It was, uh, really great how you figured out that one move.”

Jessie put her hands on her hips. “Ugh, could you sound any more insincere?!”

With a growl of impatience, Ash cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled across the battlefield. “Hey! Are we gonna battle or what?”

“Oh, we’re battling, twerp,” Jessie shot back. “And we’re gonna win!”

Ash grinned. “You ready, Pikachu?” The yellow Pokémon turned to look at his trainer. Ash pointed. “Quick attack!”

“Ha!” Jessie scoffed as Pikachu zigzagged along the rock ridge. “Wobbuffet, use Counter!”

Pikachu leaped forward…

“On Mimey!”

Delia and Jessie gasped as Pikachu pivoted and went straight for the Barrier Pokémon. Taken by surprise, he took the full brunt of the attack, losing his balance and hitting the water.

“A fake out!” Delia exclaimed. She beamed at her son with pride. “That was so smart of you, honey! You had us completely fooled!”

“Baaabe!” Jessie hissed. “I get that you care about him – I do too – but right now he’s the enemy!”

Delia tapped her fist against her head, grinning nervously. “Oh, right!”

“This is hurting my brain,” Misty groaned.

“How do you think I feel?” Ash grumbled.

Delia took a moment to centre herself and assess the situation. Pikachu didn’t have a Type advantage, but his Electric attacks were powerful – not to mention that Mimey was still wet. Of course, using them ran the risk of electrifying the entire battlefield, including Gyarados, but only one Pokémon needed to be left standing in order for that Pokémon’s team to win.

“Mimey!” she commanded. “Use Psychic on Pikachu!”

“Mr Mime!”

Mimey fixed Pikachu with an intense stare, his eyes and hands glowing blue. Blue light enveloped the yellow mouse as he was lifted into the air. Pikachu strained and struggled, but couldn’t break free.

Ash groaned in exasperation.

“Misty, go for Mimey!” he called. “If you weaken him, maybe Pikachu can break free. Plus, he’s a lot stronger than Wobbuffet!”

Misty nodded. “Right!”

“Hey!” Jessie objected. “Just because it’s true doesn’t mean you have to say it!” She shook her fist at them. “I raised you better than that, Ash Ketchum!”

“Wha – ” Ash took a step back, flabbergasted. “You didn’t raise me at all!”

“The heck I didn’t!” Jessie retorted. “Who kept an eye on you while you twerped your way through eight regions, huh?!”

Misty rubbed her temples. The whole situation was giving her a headache.

“Gyarados!”

The Atrocious Pokémon stirred itself and looked her way.

“Use Crunch on Mr. Mime, now!”

“Oh no, not Crunch!” Delia fretted, as Gyarados reared back, a sinister purple aura swirling around its fangs. “That’s a Dark-Type move!”

“Wobbuffet!” Jessie barked. “Get between Mimey and Gyarados and use Counter!”

Saluting, Wobbuffet leaped in front of Mimey, his body outlined in orange light. Crunch hit, hard, and bounced back twice as hard. Both Gyarados and Wobbuffet recoiled from the damage.

“Wobbles!” Delia cried out, as Mimey caught Wobbuffet in his arms.

“Don’t you quit on me now, Wobbuffet!” Jessie shouted.

Wobbuffet saluted weakly as Mimey pushed him back onto his paws. The distraction worked, and Pikachu dropped back to the rock, freed from Psychic.

“Keep the pressure on, Pikachu!” Ash yelled. “Use Iron Tail on Mimey, now!”

“Quick, Mimey!” Delia shouted as Pikachu somersaulted through the air, tail glowing white. “Use Reflect!”

Pikachu hit the invisible barrier and flew backwards, landing in the water.

“Gyarados!” Misty commanded. “Use Crunch again!”

“Mimey, keep using Reflect!” Delia shouted. “Don’t let them in!” She had to think. Poor Wobbles, he didn’t have much left – one more shot from that big Gyarados and that would be it. Not to mention that if Crunch hit Mimey, the battle would be over! She’d completely forgotten Gyarados could learn that move! Oh, maybe she should’ve used Zaggy instead…

Mimey obediently continued to use Reflect as Gyarados and Pikachu attacked from either side. Slowly the invisible barriers began to box them in, till Mimey and Wobbuffet were crowded together on the rock.

“Babe!” Jessie urged. “We have to do something or we’re gonna lose!”

“I know!” Delia groaned. “I just…” She cupped her face in her hands, pulling down on her cheeks. “…I don’t know!”

“Ms Ketchum!”

Delia lifted her head.

“You can’t let us back you into a corner!” Misty called. “Use your environment to find a way out!”

Ash shot her a glare. “Hey, whose side are you on?!”

“It’s my job as a Gym leader to help trainers to learn,” Misty explained with a smile. “Did you forget?”

“You didn’t help me when I battled you for the first time!” Ash replied indignantly, poking his thumb into his chest.

Misty glowered at him.

“That’s because you still owed me a new bike, Ash Ketchum!”

“Aaagh!” Ash placed both hands on his head, tugging his hat down. “Can’t you let that go already? It got repaired, didn’t it?”

While their opponents bickered, Delia had taken Misty’s words to heart.

“Use the environment…” she mused. There was only one place Mimey and Wobbles could go – but first they had to do something about the double attacks coming their way.

“Jessie!” she hissed, beckoning her partner to come closer. “Can you have Wobbles use Counter?”

Jessie looked at Wobbuffet, sweating nervously as he stood behind Mimey. She nodded.

“Okay,” Delia replied. She whispered quickly in the other woman’s ear. Jessie grinned, then straightened up.

“Wobbuffet! Use Counter on both those attacks!”

Without any hesitation, Wobbuffet moved in front of Mimey, body once more enveloped in an orange glow. Crunch and Iron Tail came back double on Gyarados and Pikachu, sending the two flying backwards. Both Pokémon landed hard on the rock, Gyarados almost wrapping around it with the force of the blow.

“On your feet, Pikachu!” Ash called. “It’s not over yet! …Huh?”

He blinked at the empty battlefield. Mimey and Wobbuffet had both disappeared. Ash tensed as he scoured the water for any sign of the enemy Pokémon, but the surface was still settling from the last bout of attacks. The sunlight streaming through the roof didn’t help either – it made the rippling water glitter.

Misty spotted movement a second too late.

“Look out-”

In tandem, Mimey and Wobbuffet burst through the surface, taking up positions either side of Gyarados and Pikachu, trapping their opponents between them.

“Good work, you two!” Delia cheered. She pointed dramatically. “Now, Mimey – use Psychic on both of them!”

Once more, Mimey’s eyes and hands glowed. Both Gyarados and Pikachu rose into the air, enveloped in blue light.

“Great strategy, Ms. Ketchum!” Misty called, earning a dirty look from Ash which she ignored. “There’s no point going for Wobbuffet – he’ll just Counter our attacks again.”

“Right,” Ash agreed. “We’ve gotta take out Mimey!” He raised his voice. “Pikachu!”

Misty did likewise. “Gyarados!”

Delia grinned. “Just as I thought.” She looked at her partner. “Get ready with Mirror Coat!”

Jessie blinked in confusion. “…Huh?”

“Thunderbolt –”

“Hydro Pump –”

“On Mimey!” both young trainers yelled in unison.

“Mimey!” Delia called, just as both Pokémon charged their attacks. “Drop them, use Light Screen and aim at Wobbles!”

“Aim at WHO?!” Jessie exclaimed.

There was no time to explain. Everything turned on a split second. Pikachu and Gyarados began to fall through the air. Several volts of electricity and a powerful torrent of water hit Mimey’s Light Screen and barrelled towards Wobbuffet.

The diabolical beauty of Delia’s devious plan suddenly caught up with Jessie. That pair of pathetic Pokémon were in for a –

“Now, honey!”

Jessie almost fumbled the command.

“M-Mirror Coat!”

Wobbuffet glowed, shrouded in a reflective aura. Everything seemed to slow down. The attacks hit. They bounced back at Mimey. Pikachu and Gyarados fell. Ash’s mouth opened in a silent noooo.

The timing was perfect.

Gyarados and Pikachu fell in front of Mimey, taking the full brunt of Thunderbolt and Hydro Pump, doubled by Mirror Coat. The sheer force of the attacks drove them along the surface of the water, causing huge plumes of water to rise into the air either side of them. The battlefield disappeared in a shroud of surf and spray.

“Pikachu!” Ash cried out.

All four trainers held their breath as the mist began to clear.

Jessie cried out in dismay on seeing Wobbuffet floating belly-up in the water. Ash groaned on spotting Pikachu doing likewise. Draped over the rock, Gyarados lifted its head weakly, then dropped it again.

Delia scanned the water, a smile spreading across her face as Mimey swam to the rock and clambered up, standing tall with a cry of, “Mr. Mime!”

“Wobbuffet, Pikachu, and Gyarados are unable to battle,” the Drone Rotom declared, as Ash sank to his knees. “The winners are the challengers, Delia and Jessie!”

“I… I can’t believe this…” Ash moaned.

“We…” Jessie couldn’t stop staring at the battlefield, Drone Rotom’s words ringing in her ears. “…we won?” She looked to Delia, and the joyful look on her face confirmed it. “We WON!!!”

Delia shrieked as Jessie caught hold of her and lifted her high in the air, doing a twirl before setting her back on her feet and peppering her face with kisses. “Hahahaha!” She turned to their opponents, pulling down on one eyelid while sticking her tongue out. “Suck it, twe – I mean, Ash and Misty! I knew this day would come sooner or later!”

“Jessica, I know you’re happy, but don’t be a bad winner,” Delia chided gently. “Magnanimity in victory goes a long way.”

“But baaaabe!” Jessie whined. “I’ve never had a victory this magnificent before!”

Delia just smiled and gave her a peck on the lips. “I think poor Wobbles wants you,” she remarked, nodding to the battlefield. “We’ll need to get him to a Pokémon Centre with Venomoth and Clefairy.”

Jessie nodded and went to haul Wobbuffet out of the water.

“Come on, you,” she grunted as she dragged the Patient Pokémon back onto dry land. Briefly she removed her cap and wiped the sweat from her brow. Fine, so she couldn’t taunt the twerps any more. Victory still tasted pretty sweet.

In her arms, Wobbuffet stirred and smiled weakly up at her. Jessie couldn’t help but smile back.

“How about that?” she murmured to him. “You’re a winner, Wobbuffet. I bet you can’t wait to tell the others.”

He managed a salute and a quiet “Wobba…” before Jessie recalled him to his Pokéball.

Ash, meanwhile, remained on his knees in the trainer box. “I can’t believe we lost to my mom.”

“You gotta admit, that last strategy was a thing of beauty,” Misty replied with a smile. She’d made her way out to the rock and was cradling Gyarados’s head, absently rubbing its crest. The big Pokémon opened its eyes and let out a quiet rumble. “I guess now we know where you get your battling skills from, champ!”

Stepping out of her sneakers, Delia carefully negotiated the slippery rock and fished Pikachu out of the water. A couple of vigorous rubs from his head to his tail, and the Electric Mouse Pokémon opened his eyes.

“You were great, Pikachu,” Delia murmured. She tickled him under his chin, getting a weak “Chaaa” in response. She made her way back to the side of the battlefield to find Ash, Misty and Jessie waiting. “You were great too, honey.”

Ash managed a smile as she handed Pikachu to him. “Thanks, Mom.” He gasped as he was pulled into a hug.

“That was such a fun battle!” Delia exclaimed. She loosened her hold just enough to look at him. “I can see why you like this so much.”

“Watch out, Ash,” Misty teased. “You might just have a new rival on your hands!”

Ash let out a distressed yelp.

“Oh no, I don’t have time for that,” Delia assured him with a wave of her hand. As Ash sighed with relief, she cupped his cheek and tilted his head up to look at him. “But travelling around this past month and battling with you today… it’s made me feel a little bit closer to you.”

Ash blushed, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Aw, Mom,” he mumbled with a grin.

“Ahem.”

Ash and Delia turned to see Misty holding out a Cascade badge.

“This is yours, Ms. Ketchum,” the Gym Leader declared. “You made the battlefield, your Pokémon and their moves work to your advantage. I’m impressed!”

“Oh, you’re too kind, really,” Delia replied, blushing as she accepted the badge. Its blue surface seemed to glitter in the sunlight streaming in from the roof. “I’ll treasure this, always. Thank you.”

“That’s how you win a badge fair and square,” Misty teased, shooting a wink Ash’s way.

The Champion rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

“Aren’t you forgetting something?”

All three turned to see Jessie holding out her hand.

“What about me?” she demanded. “The perfect Pokémon battle partner? Trainer of vicious Venomoth and wild Wobbuffet? Where’s my badge?”

Misty sighed. Jessie had been on the winning team, and she had won a badge fair and square, but the whole situation was still bizarre.

“I’ll give you a badge if you explain what all…” She waved her hand between Jessie and Delia. “…this is about.”

“Delia and I dating,” Jessie scoffed with a shrug. “It’s not that complicated.”

“I got that part,” Misty shot back irritatedly, “I just…” She looked from Jessie, standing with her arms crossed, to Ms. Ketchum, who had one hand on Jessie’s hip, to Ash, who looked like he was hoping the floor would open up and swallow him. “…you know what, never mind.” Reaching into her pocket, she took out a second Cascade badge.

“I can’t believe this is happening, but… you earned this!”

Jessie let out a little cry of joy as Misty put the badge into her hand.

“Oh, Deerling, look how pretty it is!” she gushed. “Do you think maybe we could just get the prettiest Gym badges?”

“I don’t see why not,” Delia replied. “With James to run the restaurant, I can take vacations more often!”

“James is –” Misty glared at Ash, who pulled the brim of his cap down and giggled nervously. “We’re going to the Pokémon Centre and then you’re telling me what’s been going on, Ash Ketchum!”

“Let’s all go to the Pokémon Centre,” Delia suggested. “Our Pokémon battled hard today, they deserve a good rest.”

It wasn’t long before Nurse Joy’s tender care had Venomoth, Corsola, Oshawott, Clefairy, Wobbuffet, Gyarados and Pikachu feeling like their old selves again. Delia squeezed Jessie’s hand, murmuring “that’ll be you one day, Smoochum” as they watched Joy work.

“Well, we should get going,” Delia declared once they had their Pokémon back.

“We were going to stay and have dinner, Ms. Ketchum,” Misty said. She eyed Jessie reluctantly, but made the offer anyway. “…You’re welcome to join us.”

“That’s sweet of you, Misty, but we’ve been away long enough,” Delia replied, to both kids’ relief. “It’s time we headed home. Thank you both so much for such an amazing battle.” She hugged Ash tightly. “Don’t stay away too long, honey.”

“You know I won’t, Mom,” Ash replied, blushing. He shot Misty a grin. “I’ll be home right after I kick Misty’s butt in our rematch!”

“Then I’ll see you soon,” Delia murmured. She let go of her son and gave Misty a quick hug and a wink. “Try not to beat him too badly!”

“Hey!” Ash exclaimed indignantly.

Delia stepped back, joining her girlfriend near the door of the Pokémon Centre. She gave her a look and nodded to both kids. With a sigh, Jessie trudged up to Ash and gave him a stiff hug.

“See you at home, kid,” she mumbled. Letting go, she turned to Misty. “Thanks for the battle and the badge, I guess...?”

The two gazed at each other for a few awkward moments, then Jessie took a step closer, slowly lifting her arms.

“Aah!” Misty hurriedly moved back, holding her hands up in front of her. “I don’t think I’m there yet.”

Jessie dropped her arms with a huge sigh of relief. “Great! Me neither.” She offered her hand instead, and the Gym Leader shook it.

Ash and Misty stepped outside the Pokémon Centre to see them off, their goodbyes ringing in the air as Delia and Jessie got on the road. Jessie slung her arm around her girlfriend’s shoulder.

“Happy, babe?”

“Yes and no,” Delia sighed. “I’m sad my journey’s over, but I couldn’t be happier about how it went. I made three wonderful new friends, foiled a nasty poacher, and that battle today –” She clenched her fists in front of her. “ – I never felt so alive! I can’t wait to tell Professor Oak and James and Meowth all about it!” She slipped an arm around Jessie’s waist. “I’m so glad you talked me into this.”

Jessie preened. “Oh it was nothing, babe, I –”

She broke off as Delia took hold of her hands.

“Thank you for making my dreams come true,” the other woman whispered. Jessie’s heart caught in her throat as she saw tears shining in Delia’s eyes. “Not just today, but every day we’re together.”

Jessie smiled, warmth blooming in her chest.

“It’s the least I could do,” she replied. Delia deserved more, so much more, for putting up with her, believing in her, loving her. Not to mention all she’d done for James and Meowth too. Maybe one day –

- but before Jessie could continue the thought, Delia leaned up and pulled her into a tender kiss.

THE END

“Oh, I can’t wait to get home to our nice comfy bed!”

“Ugh, me too. I hate sleeping on the ground.”

“…who said anything about sleeping?”

[otakween]

Digimon Frontier - Episode 35

Another hype episode! With all this stuff going down, it kinda feels like we should be on episode 45, not 35. Is there a bonus big bad after Cherubimon? Probably...knowing Digimon.

We got two new digivolutions plus new digivices in this! (For some reason, the new digivices were the most exciting part for me lol. I guess cuz it was unexpected).

Notes:

A very aesthetic episode. Lots of prisms and pastels. The Cherubimon vs. Ophanimon fight was very exciting and cinematic. I was glad to see Ophanimon didn't go down as easily as Seraphimon. Plus she gave the kids a huge boost before her defeat.

Lol poor Goatmon. A bit on the nose to sacrifice a goat, isn't it? The kids didn't react much, but I guess there was no time for that. (Also, Ophanimon gets to be resurrected as a digiegg but not Goatmon, what gives?)

The whole "light and dark powers don't work in this room" was interesting. Frontier has more focus on environments/elements than other seasons it seems (even though a lot of the enviroments have been really boring lol). It did make me question things a bit though. Like don't some of the other spirits just summon their powers out of nowhere? I guess Chackmon doesn't need a water source for his powers because he's made of snow? IDK about Blitzmon though -shrug-

I was a little surprised how easily Takuya and Koji knocked Cherubimon out of his crystal room. Oh well, gotta move the plot along.

Poor Fairymon trying to break crystal with her butt and failing lol how embarrassing...

The way Cherubimon easily fell for Ophanimon's trick and let her use her "love" powers on him...I guess he does love her? That was the impression I got from that scene.

Cherubimon's voice when he was his old self for a second sounded really strange and distorted. I'm not sure if they were combining his deeper voice and his higher voice or if his other version just has a weird voice lol.

If Ophanimon told me to "combine all the spirits into one" I would assume that means to give all the spirits to one person or merge people together (ala jogress) not...one dude gets half of the groups' spirits and another dude gets the other half. That part was kinda weirdly written. Also, how did Izumi, Junpei, Koichi and Tomoki decide who to give their spirits to? Guessing that was just spur of the moment and random. -shrug- When I read the episode name I thought Takuya and Koji would be combining in some way, so that's kind of disappointing.

I have to look up these new digimon online because they whip around and throw all these animation effects over them and it's hard to make out their designs! (Though I assume we'll get a better look later). They're both kinda chaotic and seem really hard to animate lol. KaiserGreymon seems a bit more traditional and gives me WarGreymon vibes. MagnaGarurumon is almost avant garde with how asymmetrical he is. I think that's why I like his design better, it's more out there. I'm especially entertained by the fact that he appears to be part airplane lol. What is this, Strike Witches?

(He looks a little wonkier in the concept art than in the show...I always though "magna" had something to do with fire, but I just it just means "big/great" in Latin. Guess I was thinking of "magma" lol)

[spotsupstuff]

I would like to know more about the pretty lady please (Gem)

Gem in an Eye, sometimes referred to as the Witch Lady, is the sixth Iterator built in the Eo group. i was originally gonna call her Gem in Eye as a pun on Gemini (initially inspired by the song GeminEye by The Megas), she was also supposed to be nearby Notos on the map and have that classic witch cap n be a lil mad

she said No to that so now she is mainly inspired by the greek witch goddess Hecate. here's she n her voice claim (song: Čerešne [Cherries] by Hena Hegerová)

her iterations often include crystals and botanical stuff. Fish is the one who can tell you about all the spiritual effects of a wheel flower, but his knowledge started in studying Gem's notes which he later expanded upon himself and She is the one to go to if you need to know how to grow a wheel flower naturally, basically. she also likes making poisons out of her flora and, unfortunately, poisoning wild animals that are an annoyance to her. to see what will happen while also getting rid of them

she became the local puppet maker when Gen 2s started coming out. so she Did make Fish's puppet, but not any Gen 1's

she has dull claws specifically to help her with this craft- the organs and such of the puppets are grown first and slowly she integrates the mechanical parts to them during it, all in her labs. when this main naked body is finished, the whole thing is sent to her chamber where she frees it all and puts on the plating, while checking over for any imperfections in the insides like a cog not entirely sitting right and such. after this she paints on the mark/markings and drafts skin on top of all that, waits till it grows over the whole thing, puts it into a new safe fortified test tube n sends the thing on its way to the new Iterator structure

she's a close "friend" of Expiation n Spore and is the main reason why Notos ended up having to manipulate Spore to get into their friend group and right Gem's bastardness to actually help with Mission Self-preservation

even though the Mission would've helped Spore with her fungi sickness, Gem didn't give half a shit n was content to just sit back n let everyone else do the work while she iterates as normal n reaps the Mission's benefits this disgusting manipulative kind of shit she does to Moon too, but only in that giant global Gen 1 chat so it isn't as pressing as what poor Spore is going through cuz of this younger bitch

it's sort of impressive that she manages to manipulate Iterators older than her, cuz Itties have a strong sense of need to follow, listen and respect their elders, usually. hierarchy machines ✊😔 doin smth like this isn't supposed to be really possible

Boreas hates her guts because he Sees her manipulation bullshit n she likes pissing him off since she can't manipulate him

so basically she's this pretty witch devil god who does horrid things but Apparently is kind of "silly" about it. she refuses to act seriously or threateningly or more... Elegantly i suppose, when i'm doing stuff with her, so i guess...

[dejadoodles-101]

✨INTRODUCTORY POST✨

Hey yall! I’m gonna go ahead and finally introduce myself on here since a lot of you don’t really know who I am. So allow me to introduce myself! 💕

☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡

🪷My real name is Rhiannon, but that’s not a very good name so just call me Deja :)) (I have other nicknames too such as Rhi, Rhia, Jade and etc)

🪐I am an Aries ♈️ My bday is March 27 and I’m currently 22 years young but turning 23 soon!

🍄My pronouns are she/her/hers

❤️My sexuality is heterosexual (straight) as of for right now. Having some thoughts about becoming bisexual

🪻Introvert (INFJ-T)

🎨I am an artist. I sketch, digitally draw and paint on canvases sometimes.

🇺🇸 I live somewhere in America.

☘️ I’m also Irish-American.

💜 My favorite color is purple, but I also love blue, green, pink, black, red, gold and silver. And other variants of those colors

🖤I am considered as a goth, emo, and scene person. I’m also an aesthetic kind of person. (I’m into a lot of things lmao)

🧁 I really like sweets~ <3 (and other foods too)

🌴 I love the warm weather

😎 I guess I’m also considered to be cool lol

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What I’ll mostly be posting on here is art, memes, fanfics, incorrect quotes and etc. The fandoms I’m in are The Owl House, Amphibia, Helluva Boss, Inside Out, Futurama, Big Hero 6 and etc. Expect a ton of TOH and IO art cuz that’s what I’m really into right now lmao 😂

Here’s a list of other things I’m also into:

•Goth/emo/scene stuff

•Cosmology/astronomy

•Nature

•Plants

•Jewelry/crystals/rocks/gems and such

•Dream/weird core

•Witchy stuff

•Rock music as well as pop, heavy metal, punk, dubstep and etc

•Creepy things

•Aesthetic stuff

☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡

-Do I do art requests, commissions, trades or whatever? All of those are currently closed. I DO NOT do art commissions because I don’t have access to do any of that. I probably will open art requests at some point as well as trades, but I’m just SUPER busy with art that I still need to get done.

-Am I LGBTQ+ friendly? HELL YEAH 🏳️‍🌈⚧️🏳️‍⚧️ I am an ally and I don’t care if you’re bisexual, pan, lesbian, gay or whatever! Just be yourself and don’t give a shit abt what anyone else says!

-Can minors interact with me? That really depends on the age. I am an adult and still a stranger here so I think I really prefer if ppl around 16+ can talk to me. I’m just kinda uncomfortable with the fact that there are 13-14 year olds on here and I’m like 10 years over those ages. If you are under 16 and wanna be my friend, I guess I’m okay with that but please just remember that I am an adult and just please be careful :) I am a nice person though!

-Other socials? I have 2 Instagram accounts. One of them is MissBigHero6 (my private account; the username will be changing soon tho) and the other is DejaDoodles101 (my art account). I have a DeviantArt (DejaDoodles101). I also have a discord account and that is under the name of Ariezthetic.

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-I am obsessed with a ton of characters such as Emperor Belos and The Collector (TOH), Loona and Verosika Mayday (Helluva Boss), Anxiety and Envy (Inside Out), and many more lmao. Btw I’m a HUGE Belos simp 🤭

-My favorite ships are Lumity, Raeda, Huntlow, Gustholomule, Veesha and Belrin (my OC Erin x Belos, (TOH) Joy x Sadness, Disgust x Anger and Anxiety x Ennui (Inside Out) Millie x Moxxie (Helluva Boss)

-I have a ton of OCs and I can’t wait for you guys to meet them! Both original characters and from shows and movies I watch!

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Kinda running low on other things to say abt myself so I’ll probably just stop here for now. I’ll try to add more at some point!

Go ahead and follow me if you’d like! Def need more followers and friends on here cuz I’m such a loner lmao 😅 Also looking forward to meeting you all! 🩷

[5uwabbit]

Boring class at 7, so my brain gathered…

Food for thoughts!

(Context: What ifs in role swap-ish AU, that one art of researcher Kate I did)

It would be funny if Kate was with Isaac in the oil rig. We can even count Kellyn too. 3 genius in one place but two being problems?? Bro’s gonna change the name from Team Dim Sum to Team Day Care (They can’t rid these kids cuz they’re too damn smart!). Also because crystal corruption is an interesting topic— Blake hall incident — to explore!

Not only you get Kellyn and Kate destroying the sinis trio in Isaac coding lessons, we can get Kate being silly and upgrading the tools in the office (Insert Kincaid screaming after he found out the hairspray was upgraded to razor blade 2 in 1).

Plus.. we have an interesting mix of personalities. Isaac being easily encouraged and dive right into the research not knowing what’s up. Kate as the middle ground between the other two, seems relaxed and going with the flow. Then you have Kellyn who is more critical, he tends to act on his own, a bit stubborn so they have to convince him to do things. You’re gonna be almost convinced he’s doing all this for the sake of imported, special newspaper from Fiore or other regions. He’s so unseriously serious… aka He got his own agenda and nobody in the office knows why! (Insert him sneaking around the base to find out whats up).

You bet Kate realizes something was up first because Kellyn was busy “theorizing” and “overthinking” things. (Insert her running across the hallways and stumbling into Team Dim Sum mission things). Whoops.. sorry teach.. uh.. boss?

Well typical story would be… they found out and this big show down ensues but you know what? Those three are smart minds. Yeah, Kate would pretend that it’s just a normal thing and continues to do stuff like regular. Ohhh but now Kellyn knows and they’re probably trying to convince Isaac. So wowzies, three teens plans behind the back of Team Dim Sum.

Other possibilities:

to be honest I know they can’t convince Kellyn to be a researcher. If I were Kincaid I’d look at his progress over the union and be like… tsk.. it’s a loss that I couldn’t put influence on that child. He has super great prospect, but hard to convince unlike Isaac is.

But I’m going with putting him in the lab because it’s so much funnier. I’m not missing out on him being savage to Sinis Trio (that would be hella funny).

What if we count Keith in? He got his job as a ranger and guess what? He’s breaking into the oil rig. Insert this: unexpected reassemble. Omfg you guys became nerds??? (He’s not rude, just silly like that). Now now, the showdown will be much more epic. Either

(1) it’s messy as hell. Everyone is just surprised. Maybe they ended up going back with Sven boat and bringing back important data.

(2) “Oh yeah, we were about to leave.” Keith thinking oh I’ll rescue you guys! Nahhhh we got this. Kellyn signaling Kate and Isaac to activate the showdown buttons and they just. Smoothly goes away with some diving equipments they stole from the boss. Oh shit I forgot Sven 💀 UHH maybe he’ll be driving the boat alone back.

Okay that’s it. That’s how far my brain goes. Thank you for the kind words.. I’ve been brainrotting for ages. You bet I’ll be super duper normal about them all 😭

I’m still figuring things out here hehe.. I think I’ll find out how to do a poll and do that sometimes

[patchwork-crow-writes]

"Waiting for Kris"

'Wish they'd hurry up,' growled Susie, kicking her legs furiously through the air beneath her seat. Next to her, Ralsei chuckled as he set to his crochet work.

'Patience is a virtue, Susie,' he said softly. 'Or so I've been told, anyway.'

'Patience is for dweebs, is what it is.' She cracked a wide smile at her own witticism, sharklike teeth glistening in the darklight. But the creases in her brow, the anxious rippling of her mauve scales, gave away her restlessness. The prince watched her out of the corner of one eye, perhaps nervous that she might make her own entertainment, and that he might be roped into whatever scheme she'd concoct. He'd be lucky if she only took his glasses this time.

'Well, whatever Kris is doing, I'm sure it's important,' he offered. 'A-and they'll probably be back before you know it!'

Susie gave a derisive snort. 'You kidding? You mean like last time, when they almost got... aargh! Shit like this is why I HATE waitin' around! Who knows what trouble that freak's gotten themself into this time...!'

She drove a fist into the seat between her and Ralsei, causing the entire bench to tremble.

'O-oh dear, Susie...' said Ralsei, tone wavering somewhere between concern and admonishment, hand hesitating to reach out to her. 'Y-you're really that worried about them, aren't you...?'

'...worried? Nah, more like pissed off!' She thumped the bench again for emphasis, and the prince flinched from her. 'They get to do all this cool secret stuff while I'm just sat here like some useless piece of trash! I should be out there, helping 'em out instead of sittin' here and thinking, and thinkin'... 'cause that's when... that's when I... when I...'

Her voice hitched, like a walkman trying to read a scratched CD, and her formidable frame sagged, shrinking into itself. It was the first great snort, wringing with roiling emotion, that broke Ralsei's delicate heart.

'N-no, you mustn't...' he said, placing a soft hand upon her quivering shoulder, '...you mustn't say things like that, Susie. You aren't useless, you... you aren't trash... you're nothing of the sort...!'

'And what do YOU know about it, huh?!' she snarled through her hot tears, yanking herself away from his consoling touch. '...what it's like to be... to be HATED by everyone?! When no-one'll go near you 'cuz... 'cuz everyone thinks... you'll bite their face off...? An'... an' all anyone tells you is that you'll never... NEVER amount to anything?!'

'S-Susie, I-'

The dragoness loomed over him, eyes burning amber underneath her matted mane. 'Y'know ANYTHING of what that's like, do you? 'Cuz if not, then don't you DARE tell me what I can and can't call myself! Got it, pipsqueak?'

The caprine boy gave a feeble nod, incandescent with shame. 'Um... yes. I... I'm sorry.'

Seeing his mortification, Susie turned away. A shuddering sigh escaped from between clenched teeth as she realised too late just how she was coming across.

'...heh. Guess you get it now, huh.'

'...Yes. I get it, Susie. It's... clear as crystal.'

Something warm gripped her arm, fluffy fur brushing against smooth scales, small paws rubbing with gentle, soothing touches.

Her head whipped round to look at him. 'Hey hey hey, the hell you doing?! You wanna get decked or what-'

Ralsei met her gaze, and the earnest seriousness in his expression stopped Susie dead. Something in that look, so sad and so tender, struck her full force in the heart, and the raging storm inside her began to quieten.

'You're right, Susie. I... don't know what any of that is like. It sounds... horrible. And I can't believe that anyone would ever... ever say those things to you. N-not when I know you to be so brave, so loyal... I... I really admire those things about you. And I am so happy to call you my dear friend.'

He smiled, and it was as if the clouds had parted and a golden ray of sunlight was shining directly onto her, blinding and beautiful. Warmth radiated from her core, through her arms and legs, suffusing her every nerve with vital electricity.

Was... was this what it was like to be... happy?

Without thinking, Susie threw her free arm around the prince's neck, burying her snout in his wispy white fur, gripping hold of his tiny frame with everything in her. For once, she didn't care what anyone else thought; she didn't listen to the screaming voices in her head. All she really knew was that this, this right here, was good, and she was determined to keep hold of it for as long as possible.

'S-S-Susie...!' wheezed Ralsei. 'I... Is everything...?'

The dragon snorted again, sending ripples through his hair. '...you're a real weenie, Ralsei. Y'know that, right...?'

His smile widened a notch, despite the discomfort. Maybe it wasn't so bad, waiting for Kris.

[transgenderer]

i dont go to therapy anymore so heres my therapyposting at 1230 on a thursday: i was thinking abt this post kat made, about her hamartia being the desire for things to last forever. and when i was a kid, i was so so so terrified of death (i thought about it like, all the time), and of impermanence. i went to this thing once, where these buddhist monks made a beautiful mandala out of sand, and then at the end blew it away. and it really really distressed me, it felt so viscerally WRONG.

and ive had a lot of different ways of dealing with that over the years, dealing with impernanence. so for a while i was suicidally depressed, which simplified things, it was okay that i was going to die, it was good even, i wanted it. and then i wasnt suicidally depressed, and i had to go back to dealing with it.

for years in high school i had this quasi-religion i called "the path". imagine for a moment that quantum stuff isnt true, its just billiard balls. so every moment can be determined perfectly from every other moment. time is just this massive crystal, one solid thing. everything is "happening" all at once, now is yesterday is tomorrow. and your life isnt a bunch of nows, its like a path in space. and then when facing misfortune i would (and still sometimes do) say "such is the nature of the path". like, yknow, this misfortune is literally logically equivalent with every fortune. theyre not different things, theyre two parts of the same thing.

ANYWAY i gradually lost my faith in the path. my comfort mostly came from the idea that the path was optimal. which is silly of course. the path is clearly suboptimal. but i told myself it was, and this calmed me down a lot. like yknow, best of all possible worlds. which i mean. maybe it is, when you zoom out far enough, altho we have no reason to think so. and i still have this attachment to optimality, when things are clearly suboptimal i get this little...itch, or like...almost a headache? like a pressure in my head. havent solved that one yet. had it for ages.

anyway so since i lost the path ive come up with other coping methods. and the latest stuff has to do with hedonism and probaility. basically, were trying to maximize the expected value for all sorts of quantities. but there are two problems: one, our data is shit, we dont have enough of it and the uncertainty bars are huge and those uncertainty bars are subject to unquantifiable knightian uncertainty. and 2) were not running a big statistical trial, youre one person. you can make choices that maximize your expected value and still end up with a shit life cuz of bad luck or bad data. so like, how do you deal with that. well, one thing is that our uncertainty gets much smaller in the short term. so okay, what if we value things that are only summed at the moment. well, sure, great. lets, value the integral of hedons. which was sort of always my tendency, but now its more endorsed i guess. i want to maximize my (and others, but thats even harder to influence) hedons, but anything past the very near term is like 80% shooting in the dark. so i follow some rough best-behavior heuristics, get what i need to get done done, and otherwise just try to enjoy myself in the immediate. and try to be skeptical of yknow, stuff that doesnt look like doing that. well see if it works out. and then we'll wonder whether i was foolish or just unlucky

[thegeminisage]

man theres so many CHESTS just laying around in the zora area

also it is AAALLWAYS raining girl let me CLIMB

these underwater/underground ruins are SO COOL i wish i'd seen these the first time i was here

YOOOOOOO MY FUCKING CLIMBING BOOTS. FOUND THEM!!!!!!!!!

shrine puzzle here where i gotta take the crystal and follow the beam. i am quite clearly supposed to build a raft, but there are materials for a bike. decided against this bc i love rafting in this game and also bc of the low ceiling, even though with the crystal as a counterweight the low ceiling ought to be no problem

actually, i should have done the bike. rafting is more fun when you're going with the current and not against it and also i'm dying to see how my new battery holds up <3

BIKE GOOD...i can't wait to get a chance to properly put it thru its paces

oh man i did a really long korok trip that with my old battery i wouldn't have been able to do!!!

there's a BED? up here at the reservoir. i slept in it expecting my bike to despawn but it was still there when i woke up

and a sidequest for helping this zora get stones for mipha's court...good i could use a break lol

NIIIICE zora fabric!!

god the music in mipha court still fucking kills me. it's crazy bc i didn't even LIKE mipha that much in the first game!! like ofc i cared about her, but she wasn't eating holes in my brain. but man...........

CLIMBERS BANDANAAAAAAAAAA AT FUCKING LAST

back in the ancoent zora waterworks for 1. zora greaves quest and 2. Frog. it's still really cool in here...

oh shit the water is gone!!! crazy..............

GOT MY GREAVES!!!

holy shit i just fused a weapon with 104 atk lol i can NEVER use this i have to save it for ganondorf. and a club with 72 atk wtf

well, i broke them immediately. i equipped one for a sneakstrike and i guess i forgot to unequip it so i must've broken them in this fight cuz they're both gone :(

uh...no...their attack got halved...? maybe i had some kind of effect going for me in the waterworks? water attack up or something? but i hadn't had any special food or armor...

OH i see! the zora swords i used for fusion have atk up when wet. it was raining and now it stopped lol. i almost panicked

:| i saved blood moon guy again and he said OH I KNEW YOU'D COME...like.........adn now he is like well i can do my research w/o fear. u always rescue me. buddy one day theyre gonna roast you over their little campfire before my ass gets here. then what. freak

oh damn he gave me a diamond??? ok fine ig

found another high/low tide cave. i like it better than the last one, probably bc this time i'm not trying to steer a shivery purse dog npc thru it on a raft

my rubber tights!!!!!!! FINALLY i can ride and farm farosh like she deserves. mwah

ANOTHER block puzzle i can't get...am i just stupid???

got my lightscale trident! unfortunately i am definitely gonna break it bc i do not have room for it in my house lol

lol sidon's wife says he talks about link constantly. "link is the best" "no task is insurmountable when i am with link" is he like. ok. like man are you happy are you like good? crackpot theory sidon like zelda canonically has a crush but it's up to us the decide if it's requited lol. i seriously tinfoil hat think he's gay. like is this all accidental writing sure but also. good lord

i am not against sidon getting hitched or whatever but this whole thing is so WEIRD...................

THE MAN HAS A STATUE OF THEM. LIKE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE whatever look it's fine. i'm normal. this is so normal. i think this is why i left in a hurry last time actually. weird vibes i get around here. i can't be doing this shit during pride month

happily this is all i have time for today. tomorrow i wanna try doing more story lol the right side of my map is so close to being clear but i need a break!!!

[toxic-potions-productions]

Meeting Crimson (Rewritten with the Impsonas cuz I just wanna)

*In the helicopter, on their way to Greed. Moxxie was sitting next to the window, & Alexandra was in the middle between him & Blitz while Millie & Crystal sat across from them. But, Alex & Moxxie didn’t seem happy.*

Alex & Moxxie, in unison: Ugh. I hate this place.

Blitz: Oh yeah, this is your old stomping ground, isn’t it Moxx?

Moxxie: Yeah, unfortunately. I grew up just over there, swore I’d never come back & uhh.....

Alexandra: !!!......Wait....something’s not right. Where’s this thing goin’?

Moxxie: Uhh, w-w-w-where are we going?? What...Blitz......Who did you say this meeting was with?

Blitz: I’m not sure, just some rich somebody or other who wants to discuss biz at his place.

Alexandra: Wait........what?

*After landing in front of the estate, Moxxie & Alex’s faces both dropped.*

Alexandra: ......Ohh, no......

Moxxie: Oh, no. No, nononononononononononono!!

*They walk out & closer to the estate. Alex’s face looked angry & resentful as her arms were crossed. & out comes a familiar, to Moxxie & Alex at least, mafioso.*

Crimson: There he is! There’s my boy! Get over here & give your daddy a hug.

Blitz, Millie, & Crystal: Daddy?!

Crimson: I only let Moxxie call me that. Unless ya pay me! *Laughs as he approaches them*

Moxxie: Guys, um.... *Ahem* This is my father, Crimson. Sir, this is my boss Blitz. & my--

Millie: Millie! I’m his wife.

Crimson: & what a beautiful wife you are. Moxx, where you been hidin’ this pretty little thing?

Millie: Oh, I’m sure he would’ve introduced us. Eventually.

Crimson: Oh, I’m sure.

Moxxie: Right. Uhh..... Th-this woman over there with the glasses is someone Blitz does business with from time to time. This is Alex--

Alexandra, cutting him off: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, ya don’t have ta introduce me ta yer dad, Moxx, I already know him. *Bends down by the hips to look at him with a cold look* I know Crimson all too well. *Stands upright* Crimson, I’m sure you remember Crystal.

Crystal: Ohhhhhh, so you were the guy that I talked to on the phone earlier. Heya, Crim...... *It was hard to tell if her tone was mildly resentful or just socially awkward. She didn’t know him as well as Alex did, but could already tell he was up to no good, she was just a bit in the middle of what she should feel.*

Crimson: *Tips hat to her* It’s always such a pleasure, doll. You haven’t changed a bit. *Shakes Alex’s hand as he looks up at her in the eyes* How have you been, Alexandra? It’s been awhile since I last saw your pretty face. *Crimson tries to hide a look of disgust on his face as he says that last part. It was a very backhanded compliment, with the intent of humiliating Alex in a subtle way, but also trying to keep his friendly persona that Moxxie & Alex already saw right through.*

Alexandra: *Forced chuckle as she tries not to snap* You’ve always been.....SUCH a gentleman, Crim. *What she said was ALSO a very backhanded compliment, but she didn’t even try to hide her own look of disgust as Crimson walks over to Blitz.*

Crimson: You gotta be Blitz, with the silent O. Right? I’ve heard alot of good things about you & your work.

Blitz: Really. What kinda shit has Moxxie been spreading about me? I’ll fucking kill you, Moxxie, don’t you FUCKING TEST ME!!

Crimson: No, no! From all over. Looks like you’re building a bit of a name for yourself here, kid.

Blitz: Really! Hah, well I guess it’s about time folks recognize my talent.

*Alex rolls her eyes as Crimson cackles & lightly punches Blitz’s arm.*

Crimson: I like your attitude. Well, I hope you’re all hungry, we put together a fabulous dinner for ya.

Crystal, lighting up like a Hellsmas tree: I heard dinner! What dinner? I’m hungry! *It was like seeing a parallel of Blitz lighting up after hearing about the pain games from the Harvest festival. She dashes off to Blitz & Crimson, while Moxxie, Millie, & Alexandra stayed behind for a bit.*

Alexandra: *Low grumbling*

Moxxie: ...........

Millie: .....Hey, baby? Why haven’t I met your pa before? & Alex? How come you look so on the edge, honey?

Moxxie: Well, uhh.....

Alexandra, softening at Millie’s question: Oh! Umm.....I-It’s a long story, Mills...

Moxxie: Y’know, it’s--it’s.....It’s--It’s just never been a--

Crimson: Hey! You three! Move it before it gets cold.

Crystal: Or before I get to your plates before you guys dooooo~!

Alexandra: ....... *Sighs*

Moxxie: .....L-look. Look, Millie. W-we can talk about it later.

Alexandra: Uhh, yeah. What he said. Now’s just not the best time for it.

*The three head inside with M&M holding hands & Alex burning holes into Crimson with her signature death glare. Alex snaps her fingers & a few of her own goons stand at the entrances & even follow her inside. Crimson’s friendly mask slid off for a second as he snaps his fingers & the two goons of his follow him inside & close the door. To say the goons from the Greed & Pride families had awkward, hateful tension in the same estate was an understatement, not just with the main crime lords running the gangs. But, it only got worse from there.* ------------------------------------------------ Why was this so fun to do?? XDD

@dorkygurl-89

[maryocherryo]

When you said it was over

You shot right through my heart.

Okay, lets take the advice of people and try to write it out. Cuz you know, sending mass texts is apparently what no one wants, it doesn't matter what you do, just don't do that. Doesn't matter what you do, you could murder someone, but no one deserves to be told what they did wrong in one long beautifully scripted message that's meant to burn up the moment it is read by the reader. Nope. Don't do it. Don't do it Mary. Just send it to GOD. Say it to the LORD. You'll be fine. You're in God's hands.

But, yeah no, it's all about Great Expectations. Maybe they shouldn't be so great. My friend Yasu told me today, that every single time he has had expectations for something it has never once worked out. Ain't that how it is. No matter what you do, please for the love of GOD, don't have good expectations. Keep 'em neutral 'cuz if you let yourself feel, dayummm it gone hurt when they don't work out.

Yeah, she got a thick booty. Dats why I love her. PSYCHE.

I don't love anybody but myself.

(I imagine this is what plays on repeat in Carl's head.)

Let's talk about Carl. Nah, let's not.

Carl is a flaming dumpster fire apparently.

Do I see things where they don't exist? I know I've heard ghosts, so maybe I do have a psychic sense that can hear the thoughts of others without having them speak. You know that ghost I heard, didn't speak English. It spoke in tongues. That's the language of souls. Can souls speak to each other when the carrier isn't conscious of doing so? Or, is that just mania, some kind of twisted ADHD obsession.

He used to tell me to look in the mirror and repeat the mantra he gave me about how I was his property. Trash, and nothing more. But, when I look in the mirror, I see my ocean eyes staring back at me. Glittering from tears and shades of crystal blue green and I wonder, how, could anyone look into my eyes and say the things they said.

Your eyes were dark. Soulless. I accused you of that on the first night we met. I said, I was trying to look into your soul, and you said that it died a long time ago. I knew that wasn't a normal thing to say, maybe some sort of cry for help. Or, far more worrying, conscious evil.

OO I was so mad. I coulda seen this coming from the start.

You should beware, beware beware

Of a woman with a broken heart.

I asked you when we first met, if this was what it was like when soulmates meet, like two storms colliding. What happens when two soulmates part? Nothing less than a storm. There was a volcanic eruption. You froze. Genuinely mortified. I can only presume. I've never seen myself angry 'cuz you know, I only get mad at people and then rant about it behind their back. I'm a Libra. But seriously, don't piss off a Libra 'cuz you gonna get it. We are the Aries of the Air signs.

And, why was I mad, you ask? Lemme put it real simple, you can play like you wanna use someone, but then there's a huge difference when you actually use them. You narcissistic dumbass. How do you not know that? And why would you expect me to remain silent, at the end of all things. I have my limits, and that limit, is utter disrespect.

Did you mean to disrespect me, or was that just your own fear of hurting me further, that you knew you couldn't TAKE any more from me. So, if it was respect then, you could just say that. "I don't want to hurt you by getting more physical with you because it's going to deepen your attachment and I don't want to be with you." See? That's not that hard. But, i guess it is, when you feel some level of guilt, you'd be somewhat acknowledging your implicit guilt and you know a smart criminal knows to never do that. I'm probably getting ahead of myself. I don't think you're capable of thinking that deeply about anyone else's feelings.

He told me he could never date someone who wasn't financially stable. Yet proceeds to "Disney-villain monologue" about how he has accrued 71 million dollars yet lived a tortured life that made him the way he is. Why is that even a blip on your radar? You, who could have anything. Make anything happen, like the fairies in Sleepy Beauty. Just cuz your ex-wife said that you financially abused her? Is that the story you tell every basic bitch you fuck around with? Like, I'm supposed to just say, yeah okay. You're right. I am so far beneath you, it would never work. Wait what? No. LOL I ain't that stupid. None of it makes sense. Don't even date an artist /English teacher then.

He said "I can only date doctors and lawyers". Well nice try my friend. You know as well as I do that no matter how much a plebeian makes, it will never match to someone who has enough wealth they could amass a fairly size-able militia. Unless....... all that money is actually just tied up in Bitcoin. Who am I to speculate, you know what, I don't give a shit anymore. I'm just happy when you told me that you didn't think that I was a painter, that I told you "Yes, I am. You asswipe." Fucking hilarious.

Nahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

He didn't mean to disrespect me. He just didn't wanna love me. For whatever reason I will never understand. That's what it was about. I always tell people--"Sounds like a blessing in-disguise." As if that's some sort of solace. It's not. But you know, "Only Time Will Tell". There will come a time, when I say to myself, THANK GOD. I've always felt lucky that my exes left me, because DAMN they didn't deserve me.

Baby,

last time calling me baby

last time calling me crazy

[blueempty]

You'll never guess who we saw today

Had a big good day today. One of the first in a while that was just entirely good. Me and my partner woke up around noon and went to the lesbian owned farmers market down the road that I think I mentioned yesterday. They have all kinds of cool stuff there that we need to go back for but we got some nice ass potatoes that still had the dirt on them and everything, plus small pumpkins and some maple praline syrup

Then we got food and went to our slightly farther away but nicer boba place, and our nice coffee shop that sells good pastries. That was where traffic started to take its toll on me and it was like 4:30 so I suggested we go home. And its a good thing we did cuz she's been subscribed to FF14 for like a year and a half I think and doesnt really play much but she made big progress today. For those who know, we fought Shiva and did all of the Crystal Tower Raids in one sitting. I gotta get her playing summoner cuz she seems to like all the casting outfits

I also beat Mario Wonder and that game is just fully perfect. It is without flaw, and I'm excited to 100% it over time. But Splatoween is soon and I need to finish Star Ocean so I'll have to stop Mario at some point unfortunately

I've been sleeping better but not long enough so I'm actually pretty worn out rn a heem heem. No night sky tonight but heres a bee and a spooky boba employee. We were gonna buy marigolds to hopefully repel some succulent pests and stuff but I could not bring myself to disturb all the fat little bees. I'll go back next sunday and ask them politely. I wish I could let them into our screened balcony. But anyway

Live Long and Prosper

[treveon667]

The Vera Family Part 2 part 1 Boys are just boys

Emily) man school is so boring sometimes but really I honestly just can't wait to get to college

________________________________

Roxy) we're all going to really sad when you go though

________________________

Allison) yeah I'm going to miss all the fashion shows we go to

_______________

Midnight) there's this really cute goth boy that keeps talking to me at school

___________________

Tiffany) oooooo girl go for it

___________________________

Lavender) I swear to God I hate people

Allison) what's wrong baby sis

_____________________

Lavender) there's a stupid kid at school that's pissing me off cuz they keep picking on me

Midnight) well there was a girl that was bullying me at school and I just sneakily casted a hex on her

______________________

Lavender) that's all good and stuff but I don't know if I should handle it that way

Roxy) what we need to do something we're not about to let some random little girl bully or sister

_________________________

Emily) right but the question is what do we do

__________________

Tiffany) I don't know but we better do something me and lavender don't get along at all but nobody bullies my sister except for me

___________________________

Crystal) ooooo what you could do is find the most embarrassing picture of her and post it on the internet or show all her friends

__________________

Mimi) I said we kill her with kindness

Lavender) will all of you SHUT UP it's not even a girl

________________________________

Allison) then what is it is it a dog

___________________

Lavender) it's a stupid boy

____________

*All the girls gasp*

Roxy) wow lavender you didn't tell us you had a little boyfriend

_________________________

Midnight) let's hope his handsome and not funny looking

_________________

Lavender) what the hell are you guys talking about

_______________________

Emily) lavender when a little boy picks on you it only means one thing he liiiikes you

Lavender) you guys are nuts he literally shot a spitball in my ear

_____________________________________

Emily) yes but he'll get over that and just start absolutely gushing over you

______________________

Allison) and one day you two will grow up and live happily ever after

_________________

Tiffany) are we sure this little boy doesn't think Lavender is another little boy

_______________________

Midnight) Tiffany that's rude lavender's just a tomboy she's still a girl and everyone knows that and I think you just need to give him some time to situate his feelings

_____________________________

Crystal) screw that I think she needs to kiss him

_________________

*all the girls giggling*

Lavender) Lilith my sisters have gone crazy they think that stupid bully likes me they want me to kiss him

_____________________________

Lilith) well lavender I hate to say it but you might want to listen to them a little bit I mean they are girls

___________________

Lavender) ummmm Lil last time I checked were girls too

______________________

Lilith) I mean yes but we are younger they're older they know more about this stuff than we do

_______________________

Lavender) I I………… i Guess you have a point I'll ask one of them for some advice I just really hope I don't regret it later

Lavender) all right Emily I want to take some advice from you about boys sure I don't care about lovey dovey stuff all that much but you have any kind of advice or anything I could experience

Emily) OMG perfect going on a date with Danny and you can come along and watch people be romantic I have a perfect dress that you can wear

____________________________

Lavender) I'm sorry what now

1 hour later

Allison) Emily you look gorgeous

_________________________

Emily) oh trust me girl I know I'm just waiting for lavender to get out of that closet

Emily) all right lavender come out of there

_________________________

Lavender) no I look stupid

_______________

Emily) you look adorable get out here!!!

____________________

Lavender) I look retarded

Allison) retarded you look adorable

___________________________

Emily) yeah I just want to cut you up and bake you into a pie I promise you thousands of little boys are going to think you're cute at this restaurant

_____________________

Lavender) yeah yeah whatever just shut up and let's get this over with

Lavender) woww is your boy toy loaded or something cuz this place is fancy

______________________________

Emily) I don't know he doesn't really talk about money all that much let's go inside he's waiting for us

Emily) hey Danny you look so spiffy

__________________________

Danny) hey babe so our plans have to change up a little bit I know it was supposed to be just me you and your little sister but my mom is at work and my other little brother is at a friend's house so I had to bring my little brother along

_______________________

Emily) oh that's perfectly okay at least now lavender has somebody to talk to and I like talking to Ollie

_______________________________

Danny) Ollie of course you remember my beautiful girlfriend

___________________________________

Ollie) oh yeah how can I forget hey Emily

______________________

Danny) please don't embarrass me

To Be Continued

[sscarletvenus]

Pushing my FemDaniel agenda by asking for Fem Danny hcs 🙏

fem daniel headcanons!!!

i think it would be really fun to see the other students guess daniel’s s/o after her identity reveal… like just gossiping about who the j high goddess is with.

is it that architecture department alleged-gangster weirdo, who keeps hanging around her and buying her chocolate milk? is it that ex-bully boxer? (some say that he already has gf… others say that after meeting hyungseok, his heart melted and he stopped bullying cuz the power of true love… we’ll never know.) is it the fashion department prince, who’s so cold and intimidating and aloof in general, but behaves like a literal golden retriever when she’s around? there’s also a rumour about this tall dark handsome guy in ray bans picking her up in a white corvette after school… lots of bets being placed.

daniel somehow becomes zoe's bi-awakening

crystal and daniel end up becoming besties tho

like there’s also lot of pervs hitting on big daniel, and she’s just too nice to kill them even if she could in a heartbeat. crystal, who has a similar shitty experience with men sees one particular incident that crosses the line and beats the guy’s ass all while saying something like “ughhh this annoying bitch. kick his balls or something why’re you just standing there.” and BOOM bffs. (crystal doesn’t realize her beloved bodyguard oppa is perv-in-chief all the while lmao)

i headcanon big daniel and mitsuki having the same hairstyle, or big daniel’s hairstyle being like lee jihye from orv. smol daniel’s hair’s short bob and bangs with a range of super cute hairclips!!! (horrible descriptions here we go)

big daniel’s wardrobe is literally all fashion week collections (thank you jay we luv u), while smol daniel would probably dress like na jinsol from loser life (another ptj webtoon lol)

also johan and daniel would be such an iconic duo in this au. like they’re sort of each other’s ride or die (johan reluctantly comes around). johan is also weirdly protective over her which leads to a storm of gossip that “oh. did you hear? the gangbuk goddog has lost it over some pretty chick. i bet she’s something, having tamed that dog.” it’s safe to say they’re both fighting for their lives against this untrue rumor, and johan also rises up the ranks on several ppl’s hitlist… (ahem gun, that is)

WHAT IF YAMAZAKI YOUNG MASTER GUN HAS A RYUHEI MOMENT? like he tells crystal something like “behave properly, your sister-in-law’s here” at school and she’s like WTF???

sadboi hours but if big daniel didn’t hide her identity, zack would’ve still been hostile towards her when they first met. probably cuz u know, he would assume that she’s one of “those” ice-princess iljin popular kid who will hurt and bully mira if given the chance. mira would also be constantly compared to her and get a lot of shit… (there’s really no universe where zack and daniel are meet-cute sigh)

lmaooo also dg gets asked a cliche interview question — what’s your ideal girl? And he just. describes daniel (the smol one bcz the tall one's actually famous? and that would cause quite a scandal) in excruciating detail. cut to weeks later and there’s somebody posting on facebook about the employee at their local convenience store… who exactly fits dg’s ideal type description.

i’m also gonna take some liberties and make jake a girl in this au to push my fem!jake agenda. because WHAT BETTER THAN 2 GIRLBOSSES MAXIMISING THEIR JOINT SLAY??? The only thing better than a pretty girl kicking ass is 2 pretty girls kicking ass.

i can totally see jake and daniel being like dabin park and na jinsol from loser life… like the contrast? jake in her form-fitting suits, 9 inch heels and sinu’s coat, and daniel in an 80’s tennis skirt, tank top, and an oversized jacket. i want them to slander the men in their lives over some soju and fried chicken. club vivi arc would also hit so much different altogether omg

ALSO RUNWAY ARC would be so much different to see if daniel was a girl, because some asshole would’ve uploaded her pics on sns too. would love to see her and mary team up. also that one scene after jay saves danny and zack from chuck and justin, and danny asks “why’re u here jay? oh, for your sister right?” and jay would be mortified and flustered… just red all over because he CANNOT admit that he’s here to avenge his uhhh crush? loml?

in conclusion i have fem daniel brainrot, yeah. I’ll continue later because I HAVE LITERALLY SO MUCH MORE LEFT TO SAY.

[1percentcharge]

Could you explain the reasoning behind all the horror high characters names?

ok but im putting it under a readmore cuz im gonna go over literally all of them

seesaw- name was sort of a joke inspired by the "is it called saw bc you see it" thing and bc seesaw is a noun. I mightve picked a different name for her did I know I would get attached to these ocs lol

candy- reference to how brundle ate a lot of sugar and candy bars immediately post-telepod. recently found out it was the name of a supporting character in earth girls are easy so I guess i can't help being the most genius name-picker ever/j

Frederica- just a female version of freddy. I could have gone with winifred or something but in middle school i had a math teacher i liked named frederica so

Billie- just female version of Billy. btw, her last name is macher bc fin already has the last name loomis.

Hallie- named after Halloween

Crystal- named after camp crystal lake

Noel- wanted a christmas-themed name. I picked Noel specifically just bc I liked it

Allie- works on 2 levels: Fin and Allie (duo): finale, and Allie Ive: alive

Starlet- what young actresses are called and I thought it sounded pretty

Audrey III- let's be real I couldn't have named the daughter of audrey II anything else

Bee- bc of bees ofc! Plus it sounded cute.

Cary- just Carrie but masculine.

Fin- like FINal girl

Barbie- sounded cute and the doll association fits with her pink hearts aesthetic. plus, two syllables and starts with B like Bubba.

December- I love month names and the shining takes place around then.

Clay- I asked for names associated with death and someone recommended it. Probably also works w his love of porcelain dolls.

Monday- I like week names and she was slightly inspired by Wednesday addams (or more generally her family was inspired by the addams)

Jay- jay n doe like jane doe aka unidentified female corpse. the N stands for Nicole.

Ruth- there's a character in scanners called ruth and I like the name

Whitney- reference to when Patrick Bateman talks about whitney houston (music reference name seemed to make sense)

Augusta- 1) auguste is a type of clown 2) augusta is the capital of maine 3) im pretty sure the loser club fights pennywise in august 4) my birthday is in august :)

Meg- like the nickname for megalodon. Her real name is Pearl which has an ocean association and a teeth one (pearly whites, fitting bc she's part shark)

Gnathan- pun of nathan + gnat

Joy- reference to orin's delight in harming his patients and use of laughing gas

[pompadourpink]

Hi!!!! I hope you’re doing well Maman !

So I made this one guy friend ( im a girl ), we started talking on sm and then met a couple of times in campus , we were pretty cool and our discussions were interesting we talked for like 3 months every single day through text and he referred to me as his friend a few times even though he said he chose his friends very carefully, so I thought we were good friends cuz I do consider him as one as well but then I don’t know what happened but he just never replies to my msgs anymore, like there’s literally no sign from him for over a month now and I think he is just ignoring me but trust me Im pretty sure I did nothing wrong , our latest discussions were pretty dull I must admit but I don’t think thats a good excuse to just disappear for over a month ?

Ive been questionning myself and my personality for the past month , Im a pretty distant person and im more on the introvert side so this dude is the first friend Îve made for the past 3 years and im thinking maybe im just too annoying of a person for people or too cold or I don’t really know anymore tbh and I honestly really liked that dude’’s personality , I thought we’d make such a cool duo of friends but I guess he’s gone and its all ive been thinking about tbh , can you give me your opinion on this situation ?

Hello dear,

This is called a nice guy and it is not a loss.

There's a category of people that think of men as the main characters and women as accessories, like a watch or a nice suit - therefore, don't think you can really be friends with a woman, because they have no inner life, they're too much of this and not enough of that, and they're really silly little creatures one shouldn't pay too much attention to. But they're still sexual beings, want to be able to show off their girl to other men, know that having a girlfriend is social evidence of their attractiveness, and most likely witnessed their mum serve their dad since they were born and think it would be really nice to have someone replace mum now that they have moved out. So they hate being single.

So if they approach you, they have a very specific goal in mind. There are entire blogs, Twitter and IG accounts, books, Youtube channels, about how to get a girl, how to text a girl, how to manipulate a girl into thinking sleeping with you was her idea, etc., and they'll use techniques like gaslighting or negging (negative complimenting: giving you a weird compliment to make you defensive and feel like you really need this man to think that you're better than he thinks). Just last year, a guy who was standing next to me while I was getting eggs leaned in and whispered "you have the second-best pair of legs I've seen today" before smiling largely and waving his brows.

The hope was crystal clear: "aww why would you say that handsome, maybe I should wrap them around your waist and we can change your mind ;)".

(Yes, that is how blind they are, because they've been simultaneously consuming that type of content for years while having zero contact with women, even relatives, so they get convinced that our only interest in life is the attention of men.)

Thankfully I am very good at confrontation and grew up in the land of Sarcasm so I said "and you have the ugliest face I've seen all year" and he left.

Your guy might just be a little butthole and it's not that deep, nonetheless deciding that it's not worth talking to a woman anymore because you just realised that they won't let you get in their pants remains a sexist thing to do. So, really, you're not missing out. He was never your friend and this had nothing to do with your personality and everything to do with his crappy attitude.

Love,

Mum