#cuz not a lot of people get access there . let alone can .. survive!

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki Shinkai Hana no Shou Harada After Story Translation

This is my first post of the month, so I’ll start by asking you to please support me if you can through my ko-fi, and paypal or patreon which provides access to my hakuoki blog translations and early access to my postings. Also, please let me know if you have any hakuoki drama cds that you’d be willing to share that are on my Lookout List since i either do not have audio for those cds or do not have audio that I can share.... and if you are able to remove watermarks from a video, please contact me.  

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i don’t really play rhythmic music games... but i gotta say, Deemo Reborn was amazing. my heart is feeling very hurt right now. highly recommend it. 

Anyway, this is my translation of the Harada story from the Hakuoki Shinkai Hana no Shou Stellaworth pre-order bonus booklet「薄桜鬼 真改 華ノ章」ステラワース早期予約特典 小冊子 (....I should really make the Japanese on these particular posts of mine uniform), which was translated from Chinese as always.

Kinda sad that it’s taken me so long to get to finishing these when I consider how the very first translation on my tumblr was for the Saito story and when i posted that... ahahahaaaaa...... lol. *facepalm.* 

Now that this is done, that just leaves the stories for Souji and Heisuke (of which i have now queued) since I don’t have translations of the after stories for Shinpachi, Sanan, Souma, Iba, and Sakamoto (have scans for them should anyone want to translate them or commission someone else to translate them). 

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Hakuoki Shinkai: Hana no Shou Stellaworth Pre-order Bonus Booklet After Story - Harada Sanosuke

Translation by KumoriYami

The boundless sky and horizon——

The war between the old Shogunate's forces and the New Government Army, and the fighting between humans and oni, had nothing to do with the country on the other side of the sea.  And it was in that place, a [certain] man and woman were [now] living.  

The man's name was Harada Sanosuke, former Tenth Division Captain of the Shinsengumi. While the woman in love with him was the young female oni who had decided to leave Japan with him, Yukimura Chizuru.

After Harada finished his daily firewood delivery, he rode back towards his beloved at home. Ever since coming here, his riding skills have improved by a lot.

After leading the horse back to the stable, he opened the door of this house, which looked a bit lonely in this cold weather.

"Yo, Chizuru, I'm back."

Chizuru, who was leaning over from where she was sitting down in a chair and mending clothes, lifted her head with a smile.

"Welcome back, Sanosuke-san. How was it outside?"

"It's still the same. Although I've been mentally prepared for a while, the coldness of winter here really can't match the degree of coldness in Kyoto."

As Harada spoke, he curtly sat down on his chair. The old chair looked as if it were to collapse at any moment, and made a creaking sound.

"But, it's thankfully very warm at home, right?"

Although it was difficult living in a foreign country where there was a language barrier, Chizuru wasn't the slightest bit dissatisfied, and was still smiling from ear to ear as she responded to his words.

Her appearance made him feel that he would never be able to fully express how thankful he was. Harada, who always felt a little ashamed about this, lightly tousled his hair.

"Nn...... indeed.”

Chizuru who finally finished mending the clothes, then quietly stood up.

"Please wait a bit. I'll go make you some tea."

"No need,  I'll go make the tea, you go and rest.”

"But...…"

"Your body isn't just your own, so don't force yourself...… alright?”

The tone of his voice was slightly more forceful, which was why she sat back down into her chair again.

"Since that's the case, I'll leave it to you. Sanosuke-san.”

"Yosh! Just look forward to it, and watch me make you a delicious cup  of tea.”

After, he tried copying the way that Chizuru made tea——.

"......Ah, sorry, I wanted to make tea like how you usually do.”

The tea that Harada made, was one that someone would have a difficult time calmly drinking. Having seen that, Chizuru made a new cup for him, which tasted quite good. The same tea leaves were obviously used, yet there was such a difference in the taste, and upon seeing this, Harada felt incredulous.

"Please don't worry about it. I'm already thankful for your intentions.”

"...…That so."

Truly, what a kind woman. once again Harada confirmed how kind she was.

When he was thinking about coming to this foreign country, she didn't utter a single complaint, and followed him in silence. Although this method was used to hide her from the oni clans that were pursuing her——.

(If she was born as a human, she wouldn't have had to bear such difficulties.)

Although he felt that Chizuru who had ended up with the Shinsengumi because of various reasons, it was why he tried helping her as much as possible, but it was in that period of time, that he found himself unable to look away from her. He didn't know when it started, but he felt that he was the only one to protect her.

(......No, she was no longer alone.)

As Harada thought this, he stood back up.

"Sanosuke-san?"

After she doubtfully called his name, Harada went over to Chizuru's side, bent his knees slightly, and then placed his hand on her lower abdomen, where a new life was.

"Ah......"

Gently caressing this small and growing life, his heart was brimming with warmth.

(I never thought that I would have a family.)

Because of his rough personality, his hometown wasn't able to handle him, and all sorts of commotions occurred whenever he went somewhere, which was why he cut ties to the place he was born.

(Originally, I thought that I'd be a man who would live like a stray dog, then die alone.....)

He never thought that he would be able to find someone to fall in love with, the chance to start a family, or even have children.

As he gently caressed her now swelling lower abdomen, he worriedly asked a question.

"How's your body doing? I heard that you had a fever a while ago."

"I'm all right, the people nearby have given me plenty of advice."

"What about the language? Were you able to understand it?"

"I've been able to understand a bit more of it recently. Otherwise things will be expressed using body movements and pen and ink/writing.

"...…So it was like that."

Chizuru then placed her hand against Harada's. The soft heartbeat and his warmth were both able to reach her palm.

"Hey, Chizuru."

Hearing the way his voice called out, Chizuru tilted her head.

"As long as I have you and this guy, I don't need anything else. Not even life."

Those were his honest feelings, but the moment he said this, Chizuru's expression became very serious.

"Even if that's a joke, please don't say that. If Sanosuke-san dies, this child and I will not survive.”

He already anticipated Chizuru saying this, but——

"I'm not joking. Ever since I met you, and since we've become husband and wife...…. for the first time, I know that there are things in this world that are more important than my own life and ambitions.”

His words made her blush.

"This...…"

Just from looking at her expression, it was obvious that she thought he was being too serious, but Harada truly felt that what he wasn't an exaggeration. No, if only words were used to convey his inner thoughts, perhaps not even half of them would be conveyed.

Harada lovingly brushed Chizuru's hair which drooped to her shoulders, then spoke.

"Don't worry.  I didn't plan to leave you and this guy to die behind. Even if it looks like that, I'm very confident about how I never give up in life."

"..….I believe you."

In response to his trust, she showed a smile that was brimming with confidence. Seeing her like this, Harada involuntarily smiled back.

---End---

for some reason, i translated track 5 of something... now done track 5 and 6 (of 6) for that drama lol. 

unfortunately, i only got half-way through june for my queue... ugh dammit. still that’s a decent start i suppose tho last week was my last “allowance” time for translating since i anticipate getting a lot busier now... [btw, the 4th ginsei no shou chapter for Saito is at 40% and will be at that completion level for a looong while. will need to have my queue reach november before i can earnestly focus on that game again]... also,  i’m going to assume that with school, most of my game translation videos will take longer to get done (dramas are fairly easy since timing isn’t difficult to set as there’s no text that i need to worry about).

on the plus side though, the yuugiroku dramas are now being moved via cmd...  though for some reason, i can’t see half the on-screen text in the programs i use right now... including notepad, which i use for subtitles, and nimble writer, which is the program i use to write i’ve saved my translations in... and i can’t even view my files properly cuz i can’t see any of the folders or file names...

[imaginedcreaderinsert]

Could you do one and fifty nine with Jason

Summary: Jason and Reader visit the Wayne Manor for the first time for a friendly lunch. A pity he doesn’t plan on keeping it PG-13 for long. [As stated by the ask, prompsts one and fifty nine with Jason! “What? Does that feel good?” + Public with Jason]

Word Count: 2531

TW: Cussing and smut, as the prompt implied. Enjoy!

People that asked to be tagged: @sarcasmismyfirstlove, @dora-the-grownup​

A/N: Angst coming in tonight! On may I’ll start a new rhythm, at least two pieces per week, but for now I can’t relax, I have uni work!!! I hope you enjoy, cuz I definitiely did.

In a twist — Jason Todd x Reader

Bruce was a reasonable man, and his points had been valid when he had sneaked up on you to have a “private talk”. You didn’t want to listen at first, given his relationship with Jason, but deep in your heart you knew it would do him well. Thus, a lunch didn’t seem like a big deal, until you had, of course, proposed so to Jason, which he had flipped about. He made his point clear and it took you some convincing, but you thought you had changed his mind after a long and torrid bath. In retrospective, you should have been sharper from the moment he had easily agreed after, as if someone had momentarily replaced him. But now there’s nothing you can do except press your knees harder.

           You started to feel it in the car but thought nothing of it in the end. Twenty minutes ago, he had been going at it hard on your body back home, thus maybe you were still feeling the pleasure of the aftermath, sighing content into the kiss he left on your cheek. Sweet, innocent. He was being lenient, and you loved that. You loved him. After all, Jason wouldn’t be convinced by someone who was just a girlfriend; you were so much more than that, and he had made that clear lots of times in bed, when you both were alone on your own. He cared; he just didn’t want to show it to anyone who he just met. He was selective and picky about the people he put his trust on. You understood that and felt deeply honored because of it.

           “I’m glad you agreed to it.”

           “Well, your convincing gave me some thinking. I thought it would be fun.”

           You kiss him, stupidly in love as you are when he looks at you like that. Jason Todd might be not as charming as certain people, but he has a certain something that makes him irresistible, so charming you would give in to anything he asks with that deep voice of his which he uses on missions. You always get so wet when he is commanding like that. The worst thing is he knows, which makes him cocky as hell. But you like him like that too, unfortunately. You smile into his second kiss as he car seems to stop at the entrance of the gates of Wayne Manor. It’s imposing, and TV does not make it justice; it’s in some way uncanny, as you’ve seen many reportages and interviews on the gates of the Manor, but no one’s been so close, has gotten past the doors. Not any mediocre Gothamite, at least. The Wayne Manor was quite famous because of its galas, but normal people like you didn’t have access to those. Not before you met Jason anyways.

           Jason kept his surname, but you learnt quite quick he was, in civil records, Bruce’s son. Fortune did not attract you, as tempting as it might have been once; and you deeply admired how Jason had been trying to make it on his own. That’s kind of how you two met, and you wouldn’t have it any other way – people met at bars, but you got closer in a hostage situation where he had infiltrated the group as one of the day to day civilians who just had the bad luck of being stuck in said situation. It was no coincidence, and you helped him in his plan, being bold and a bit reckless, just like he was. People said opposites attracted each other, but that was not the case with you two. In some way, similarities tied you together. You understood things no one else seemed to, and you hugged him close the first night he decided to stay, as a friend. Then it all had been natural.

           He helps you get out of the car, your knees slightly weak from the anxiety that is now suddenly spiking up and maybe from something else that you can’t quite pinpoint. But then the door is opening, and you are met by Alfred Pennyworth, one of the few figures apparently to Jason in the Manor. You greet each other, cordially; it’s weird, you think, being so close to the family and yet working for it, in theory. You don’t mind his inquisitive stare as Jason gets you in, taking you by your waist, hips together almost.

           “I just want to say I completely understand if you want to break up with me after meeting my family.”

           “I managed to survive our first night with your horrible snores. I think I can take it.” He chuckles, giving your waist a firm grip, as if suddenly validated in some way. What you two had was not a superficial or shallow thing. You trusted each other completely; he knew, or was starting to come into terms with, that if you hadn’t fled yet, there were not many possibilities of you doing so in the future.

           Except of course, Dick fucking Grayson.

           He comes down the stairs, casually almost, and marveling you. Jason notices how your eyes open up slightly, pupils dilatating – is it attraction? He was quite aware of Grayson’s charm, his natural charisma that seemed to outweigh his attractiveness, and that was quite difficult. He opens up his arms as he gets to the bottom and comes closer to Jason, of course, first. Jason can’t quite process what he’s saying, because his eyes are moving to Dick’s: and his pupils are dilated too as his eyes pose on (Y/N) for the very first time, fully. It’s like he drinks her in a gulp, and seems mesmerized, much to her embarrassment, which he covers up with a small chuckle, before offering up her hand.

           “Uh, (Y/N) (L/N). A pleasure.”

           “Pleasure’s mine”. He answers, naturally, a small “enchanting” (he would say flirty) quick wink before looking up Jason. “So this is it, huh? The one’s that’s been keeping you away from patrolling”

           “He can make his own decisions.” She sharply answers before Jason can even open her mouth. That did not get in well with her, which Dick seems to realize – panic is all over his face, as Jason starts to laugh and shortly after is followed by her. “Shit, Jason was right, you really are a Labrador.”

           There’s a second laugh and a scoff from two significantly younger “kids” as they go down the stairs. Dick chuckles, slightly embarrassed and shrugging. You recognize the smaller one, Damian, but you can’t quite make out the teenager one.

           “That was a good one. Pleasure’s mine, (Y/N) (L/N). Tim Drake.” Direct, doesn’t beat around the bush. He might be your favorite one for now.

           Presentations are made, and it’s only when Bruce himself appears that you start to feel it, taking air abruptly and gripping Jason’s arm tighter. A slight vibration on your crotch, soft and pleasuring enough to not be uncomfortable or unwelcomed. Perfect enough to build up something.

           “Jason, what the fuck-“. You mumble almost in his ear, before walking up to Bruce, offering your hand first, letting him talk, and welcome you in officially. You feel Jason’s smirk even when you can’t full see it. It irks you. Fuck, he has plan.

           You are guided in by Alfred to the dining area – classy, enormous, slightly warm because of the fire not very far from the table. Tim and Damian flock around you, asking you all type of various questions which seem to be “basic” ones – you try to keep concentrated even as Damian’s ones get harder and your mind flies somewhere else.

           Bruce is presiding the table, at the top of it, and then at his right there’s Damian, and at his left Dick. You’re put up next to week, in front of Jason, Tim left at the other side of the table, contrary to Bruce. The sitting makes you nervous, even when you are close to possibly the smoothest talker in the house. When you sit down you expect to hear some noise, but it seems muffled by your thighs tightly pressed against each other and knees. You’ve been giving it some thought, and you are now quite sure that it’s in your underwear. It didn’t quite had been as light as always, and Jason had been quite insistent on your lingerie choice, bra and knickers matching. But he had always been fond of your underwear matching sets, so you had not thought much about it. “Fucking devil”.

           “So, Gotham. Try to tell me about your life in a minute or so.”

           You keep, or try to keep, all of your attention on him, looking directly at his direction and smiling, softly, when you notice Jason giving some curt answers to Bruce. That’s new. But when you think you have it all controlled, the vibrations go up a notch and you have to take in air harshly again. You explain it’s a cold, your breathing suffering at times because of it. Dick smiles sweetly, understandingly enough, and says he has an excellent home remedy he will pass you on lately. You thank him, turning to your first dish, a soup.

           You fear you are going to leave a permanent mark on the Wayne Manor for the wrong reasons. It’s almost dessert time and you are slightly red, hiding as best as you can your pants with coughs and sneezes, but you are sure you’ve bended slightly the silver cutlery – the ministrations of your underwear are continuous now, pressing tightly against your crotch, and there’s an uncomfortable cold wet spot against your most sensitive part. You haven’t yet embarrassed yourself in a conversation with the Wayne’s, which seems an achievement by yourself, and you would dare say that Dick and you have the potential of harvesting a special friendship – of course, if Jealous Jason is not to get in between.

           After lunch, Bruce says he’s going for a drink, some coffee, and invites Jason and you both to stay – but there’s no way you can go through it, and he seems to know as well as his hand trails around the curve of your ass, his hand almost trailing down to the hem of your dress and slowly getting his hand up-

           “A pleasure, truly, we hope we can do this again! Bye everyone!”

           That must have been incredibly rude, as you gripped Jason tightly enough and got him out of the Manor. You walked, still gripping his arm with more force than before and letting out the first pants in all evening.

           “Are you fucking stupid in the head or-?”

           “Hottest thing we’ve ever done. Don’t deny it. You know I hate it when you lie to yourself”.

           For the ride back you are offered one of Bruce’s rides, someone else getting you home, but he seems as eager as you are, if the slight bulge in his pants is anything to go by… So Jason decide to steal one of Bruce’s car, a black modern one, which seems new if you are to guide yourself by the smell. You both laugh as teenagers as you get inside, quickly, and Jason rides away. Fucking God you want to ride him.

           You don’t make it home. The Manor is near the outskirts of the city, meaning there’s no one generally on the road save the occasional interview and the crew following it. He is a private person, and no one has business with him if there hasn’t been a previous appointment made. Thus, horny and hot you both kind of decide to fuck in the middle of the woods.

           “I don’t know if Bruce has cameras here or not but-“

           “Shut up, we are not getting naked, so-“

           “I love you so much”. He says, chuckling against your mouth as you get off your seat and climb onto the driver’s one, Jason’s lap, kissing him fiercely and passionately. There’s a certain desperation on it. “I wanted to know so badly how wet are you”

           “Dripping. So take yours out and I’ll if it up enough.”

           It’s quick, like teenagers fucking desperately in the middle of nowhere. Your hand goes into the glass of the window, trying to hold yourself up as his tip rubs on your entrance, slightly on your clit, making you press yourself tighter against him. He doesn’t play much as he gets in, your knees almost giving out and making you sit on his completely.

           “Fuck, fuck, fuck”. You curse, against his ear, your thighs paralyzed by the feeling. Full, agonizingly full and wet.

           “You are incredibly wet. You are going to get my pants ruined, baby.”

           “Like you care”

           “Like I care.” He laughs, conceding you the victory, as one of his fingers makes his way inside your dress to play with the little pearl inside, rubbing it teasingly and making your entire body boil.

           “Slowly, baby. Or else I’ll come too quick.”

           “Yeah, yeah”. He mutters, almost as if in trance as he continues playing, with a little more care.

           It’s desperate. There’s a small buildup until you feel like nothing he will do will ever be good enough.

           Then he starts ravishing you. His hands get on your back, almost as if trying to break your dress, the zipper; he grabs and slaps one of your buttocks, trying to leave a mark behind and succeeding in so with the thrusts he’s giving you which make you go wild. You mark him all over the naked skin you get – his neck, his shoulders; you open up his shirt and drag your nails in his chest as he gets deeper each time. Both of you have started to sweat, and you can feel it in your lips as he gets you closer and closer; he might be at its brink, you think, because he starts playing with your little pearl, giving it rubs and circles just as you’ve taught him multiple times. You beg him to stop, but he knows that’s not it – you always say no, but you mean yes, you’ve talked about boundaries, and he loves to open her up inside until she’s scratching and begging, too overwhelmed with his kisses and love ministrations. Because that’s what it is, what it has always been: making love.

           Your orgasm hits you first, squeezing him impossibly so: he has to make his own way, with a little more of force, pushing you to the driving wheel almost, just so that he can give his finals pumps. He cums inside, filling you and making you screech, oversensitive. Your fingers search for his back, his neck, which always makes you feel safe and sound. He grabs you back, by your waist, his head on your chin, kissing your neck lovingly enough to make you melt.

           “I hate your little games.”

           “You love them. Next time, what about-“

           “No!”

[writingforyourpleasure]

ON THE ROAD AGAIN

Characters: GERARD WAY x Reader 

 Link to chapter four :   https://writingforyourpleasure.tumblr.com/post/616411340391759872/on-the-road-again

Warnings : None 

 Author’s note: Hello ! Hope you’re all doing okay during those strange times ? Sorry for not posting but I had my en-of-the-year exam, but it’s now done and , I only got a few homework to hand-over now and my second year in college’ll be done !Here you go thank you to keep reading .

5.      “ Pun-master “

  You woke up, feeling something or someone moving in front of you . You started to groan at the uncomfortable feeling not wanting to get up just yet.

“And what owe me the pleasure to be assisted by your presence tonight sir Way?” You said while looking for plates.

The mass finally moved away , listening to your complains .

You woke up what felt just five minutes later but probably was in reality hours after it. Your eyes fluttered slowly as if they were disconnected from your brain. A light shine from the outside was peeking through your tinted window as soon as you truly started to wake up , you realized that Gerard wasn’t here anymore.

“Right…” You breathed out to yourself. Honestly you didn’t want to wake up. You were scared , scared of overthinking this , and because of that you actually was overthinking it . Your brain wasn’t playing on your favor . You didn’t knew how you were gonna survive today. The worst was, you didn’t knew how to act with Gerard , what happened yesterday night wasn’t that big of a deal, really , but again ; you were overthinking it . You just wanted to act normal with him , and was prying your brain to not let you down once you’ll see him. You felt so stupid for having a crush on one of your coworker and friends. You got up and hoped for the best.

You got out of your nest , only to find that you were alone in the bus and that you already had arrived into the next parking’s venue . You went directly to the kitchenette and groaned realized that you guys were short on coffee. You finally resigned yourself and went for the shower.

You got out of the bus a dozen of minutes later to find the parking lot empty except for the security that was already keeping everything on check. You checked your phone to see that it was 3pm . You had enough time, to get yourself a coffee somewhere and not stressing about when to comeback since you didn’t had to repeat with Dex or anything. You put back in your , old black Green Day’s hoodie, pocket your phone . You’ve dressed yourself as unfashionable as it is socially allowed , your laziness was clearly reflecting itself through most of your actions today. You put your headphones on , listening to the last Fever 333’s album and searched on google maps for the nearest Starbucks, once again a reflect of your laziness you figured.

You arrived to the welcoming smell of dirty beans being ground and hot milk.

Once you got your order you looked around for a seat since the place was pretty full, luckily you got one in front of the glass and on both sides what appeared to be two couples . Great. You hope that you’ll be lucky and won’t have to witness the same amount of smooshing in both of them. The teenage one , on your right , were the ones all over each other, with the boy groping at every part accessible of his what-you-presumed-to-be his girlfriend. The one on your left were two men in suits holding each other hands while talking , you sat facing the widow and the other empty seat. You got out of your backpack your sketch book and a pencil starting to draw people passing by while music took you in other world. A tap on your shoulder took you of guard , you got off your headphones .

“Yes ?” you turned around your head to see who was trying to get your attention.

“Hey, is this seat taken ?” Dex was smiling down at you with a big smile.

You said nothing instead kicking the seat in front of you, back to the glass for them to seat.

“I feel like it’s been a while since we talked .” Dex said sitting and looking expectantly at you.

“What are you talking ‘bout we talked just yesterday.” You said not looking up from your sketch book.

“Don’t play dumb y/n , you know what I mean. Like just the two of us ?” Dex sighed , seeing that you decided to not play cooperative . This time you did look up to your friend with a blank expression . Watching their eyebrows furrowed in confusion. It’s true , lately you tried to somewhat distance yourself since you were trying to figure out what the hell was happening with Gerard and you knew that being close to Dex would not help one second . Your friend knew how to read you even when you tried to hide something as well as you could. You had thinked that if Dex was about to ask questions it would make it weird since you were all working together . If you fucked up at any moments , you’ll have nowhere to hide and sometimes it can be a great deal of pain . But apparently you didn’t succeed not to make it awkward since your friend was not so happy that you act a little colder than usual . You were already fucking cold to any strangers , so to be cold to them was shitty. You sighed and run a hand through your now greasy hair . You needed to take a shower quickly , maybe it could wait after the show .

“Hey earth to y/n, hellooo?”

“Huh yeah sorry I was gone for a few…”

“Yeah no shit .”

“Sorry… like for all of it it’s true I’ve been kinda avoiding you guys.”

“Meh it happens , I mean it’s okay we all got our own problems.”

Dex tried to stay warm inside of the Starbucks but you could sense that being against a cold ass window wasn’t helped them to get the warmth that provided the Starbucks.

“I’m so cold….” They whispered as they took a gulp from their drink.

“Well….then stand in a corner .” You replied taking a large gulp of your hot drink too.

“What-Why ?”

“Think..”

“No….. please tell me it’s not because of what I think dude.”

“Coz’ corners are 90 degrees.” You said with a smug smile.

“Ho god …. Ok you know what maybe it’s for the best to be socially distant haha. It is so bad please do not do that again?”

“You’re asking way to much to the pun master .”

“More like the master of fucking nothing y’mean .”

“What did you said peasant , I think I didn’t quite hear that ?”

“Ho nothing .” said your friend smiling like a fool.

“Y/N I’m still fucking cold !” Said your friend trying to warm themselves up by rubbing strongly their arms.

“And how is that my problem , my dear?”

“Someday I really am going to kill you , y’know?” Told Dex between their teeth, with a little grunt along the way.  

“Y/N , Can I borrow your scarf? I’m seriously freezing. ”

“Well I can’t turn into a heater for you now can I? So do you want me to set you on fire? Because, I mean it’s still an option? Like I have my lighter right here so….?” You joked while giving them your scarf.

They gave you a warning glance as if they believed you . Then on a very exasperate note they sighed and said :

“Why are you like this?”              

You both laughed at that getting some curious looks from other clients. Once both of calmed down you try to get serious talking about the elephant in the room .

“Hey , can I ask your advice on something?”

“Absolutely , but I only advise communication, homosexuality, or murder.” Answered your friend earning a smug know-it-all smile out of you.

You were about to start to get off of your chest the whole “Hey I think I may or may not like the lead singer of the band for which we’re working for.” They cut you off.

“WAIT!”

“Yeah ?”

“Are you absolutely positive this isn’t dangerous or something?” They looked very serious about this , which had the reflex to make you roll your eyes deep inside your skull.

“I’m 95% sure, but yeah, I’ve failed fourth grade math so…” You decided to answer her stupid question with a stupid answer.

“Ho okay then we’re good I failed second grade! So just before we start , how long will this take ? I got to pick up my dog at the salon. «You both laughed at that. «No but like seriously we’ll have to go back to the bus eventually . Maybe tell me along the way back?”

“Alright , alright” You both got up from your seats and finally got out of the Starbucks.

“So huh, you remember when we got the 1 week break , alright?”

“Right. “

“Well huh, me and Gerard started talking by text pretty often during this time.”

“Ho. Did you now ?” They said waving their eyebrows in a suggestive way.

“No not like that calm down, you demon fuck .”

“Always a pleasure to fill my responsibilities.”

“You weirdo….” You whispered under your breath.

“Ho do not act if you aren’t even weirder man ! “

“Anyway, I just , I don’t know . I think, I think I may like him y’know?”

“Well it’s pretty comprehensible , I mean he’s hot .”

“I’m not talking about this you twat!”

“Ho c’mon you can’t say he isn’t !”

“Haha ,He is , I ‘ve sight too I’d let you know. It’s just not the point here .”

“You do? Sorry it’s hard to tell when you dress yourself like that .

“You bitch!” You choked on your drink , coughing violently.

“I’m just kind of dreading to really assuming the whole ‘hey by the way I’m hitting on you’ I don’t want to make it weird during the tour , when we’re not even at the half of it. And I don’t wish for everyone to see that I am hitting on him. I’m not ready.” You explained to Dex , not really wanting to expose everything you and Gerard said or do , foremost because there’s not that much to say

“Maybe not hitting on him is a good call since if you do I’m pretty sure he’s gonna freak out hearing your lame puns.”

“May I recall to you that I’m the pun-master AND the master of pickup lines ?”

“You completely suck at pickup lines, bro.”

“No I don’t !”

“The last time you tried one of you’re pickup lines was on this poor cute girl in Louisiana when you said ‘Are you Google –“

“CUZ YOU’RE EVERYTHING I’M SEARCHING FOR !!!”

“Yeah no wonder it didn’t worked !”

“I’m a genius , you’ll miss me when I’m gone.”

“You wish . So why are you’re feeling attracted to the guy ?”

“Well you see my kink is when people actually care about my feelings and what I have to say. And Since I know him he seems to correspond to this criteria , so I find it pretty attractive and hot since it’s my main kink.”

“Yeah , too unrealistic. Settle for bondage like the rest of us.”

“Where you ever nice Dex ?”

“2012, worst year of my life.” You laughed at what your friend said . “No but more seriously y/n, just let it happen y’know? And when you have the feeling that both of you are having a moment then maybe hit on him but stay subtle y’know?”

“I just want him to take me out…”

“Like, on a date or with a sniper ?”

“He’ll have to surprise me .” You both laughed before changing the subject to the little surprise you’ve both had planned for Max, since he was spending all of his nights and days working on your band , you wanted to do something nice for him. You bought a cookbook a few weeks ago for him as a present for the occasion, he often baked pastries as a distressful way to exhale from work time. Even though the bus condition made it hard to cook anything big it already was a good start. And you bought some bottle of Irish hard cider, since he had said it was the best thing he ever tasted when you all took a vacation to Dex family house there. After getting back to the bus everything went pretty fast , but the talk with Dex about Gerard was still playing in your mind. Ames saw that you were lost in your thoughts most of the time and ask you several times if everything was okay, you tried to act like you didn’t knew what he was talking about and you all moved on with your day . Mikey, Frank , Gerard and Ray were already in your bus when you had come back from your coffee session, and they yelled at you for not texting them and taking them with you. You brushed it off saying that next time you would. Gerard had tried to share looks with you during the day but you were too much caught up into your head to notice.

The show this night was nice and almost too short even if you guys took a ten minutes on My chemical romance planning since you played a special song. Once you were backstage Ames and Billy started their routines taking everything off stage to let place for the boys. To go faster Max offered to help them. It gave you and Dex a chance to run to the bus to prepare your little plan. You took any cushions , pillow and anything fluffy you could find , when you were done the bunks were quite a mess but you didn’t want to think of it since you still had to prepare the hard cider and the cake you brought from the Mark & Spencer’s not having too much time to find anything else. By the time everything was served , you knew that My chem was done with their show too , so you decided to prepare them a part too , you made a point to serve a apple juice instead of the cider for Gerard , not wanting him to feel excluded or anything. Max had been held backstage by Billy and Ames who were your dearest allies as ever.

You installed yourself with every plates and drinks giggling between the two of you alone in the bus to stupid jokes.

A knock made itself hear through the bus and Billy appeared into the kitchenette area before being followed by Ames and Max , who where looking at you with huge smiles spread across their face and a snort from the three of them.

“What the fuck did you do with our beds ?” Asked Max between a laugh.

“Well we did a pillow fort !” Answered Dex.

“Isn’t that a little childish ? “

“Does it means you don’t want to join us ?” You asked Max.

A silence swept through the bus.

“…Move over .” Said Max entering your huge pillow fort and already going for the cake and drink.

“Wait there’s a party and you guys didn’t told us about?! “Said Frank entering your bus.

You handed a plate in his direction , earning a smile from him before he arrived by your side as well as everyone else too.

Frank was on your right while Gerard was on your right and all of you were in a cercle eating and joking about stupid stuff.

“Hey you look better than this morning it’s good to see.” Whispered at your side Gerard offering a sweet smile before readjusting a few locks behind his ear.

“Well It’s because in the end we migrate towards comfort , and I realized that I am most comfortable around you , all of you.” You said returning a bright smile to the man.The night went along before Frank spoke up .

“Guys how are you gonna clean this mess to sleep tonight ?” Painful groans made themselves heard from all of you.

[rwby-party]

“Thus Kindly I scatter.”

While I’m totally down with the idea of Summer Rose being dead the thought of her being alive too is really interesting. I mean that not like it sounds lol I don’t want her dead, but I feel like “Red Like Roses II” made all of us feel that way and to an extent “Sacrifice” as well with the line ”the moon will sadly watch the roses die.” Her gravestone referencing The Last Rose of Summer also alludes to this. 

but also like.  The thought of her being alive is like. SO FUCKED UP LIKE

did she get captured somewhere? Is she working for Salem? Is she actually dead? Will we actually ever get an answer?? WTF HAPPENED

(I’d find the idea of her being captured for years not only absurd but kinda boring anyway. It’d be as simple as freeing her and then she’d be back. But, it’s a possibility nonetheless)

I’ve got 3 ideas I’m gonna ramble on here, lol, so bare with me.

1. Summer works for Salem/joined Salem’s team. 

The idea of her working for Salem is just like... So heartbreaking. She’s always been portrayed as this loving person. This... warmth in everyone’s hearts. The “best of all of us” as Qrow puts it himself. To see her get coerced to the dark side, working in the shadows, working against Ruby herself, maybe without even realizing it. Oof. OOOF. 

I don’t even necessarily disagree with Salem to some extent MYSELF. She was horribly wronged by the Gods, and while she was flawed, did not deserve what she got AT ALL. Her side of the story is just as tragic as Oz’s, and she could easily spin it to where hers seemed MORE tragic than Oz’s. Salem has been portrayed as a master manipulator after all. To have Salem spin her own story and tell it to Summer and have what she’s saying even partially align with what Oz told Summer? Just might’ve been enough to make Summer feel like the bad guy herself and convince her to side with her or at least made her feel her efforts were in vain. Maybe she’s naive and is trusting of what she said because it was convincing enough.

OR, Salem could have told her that she was unkillable. She offered her to even try and kill her to prove it, and she does try, but, after seeing for herself that Salem can’t be killed, she just breaks down. Years of training. Years of fighting for what she thought was a solvable problem just thrown out the window because of something Oz had neglected to mention, and instead of Salem killing her, she thinks to utilize Summer’s skill and offers to let her join her side. So, she joins her because she feels like she can’t stop her anyway. Maybe she even does it out of fear. Obviously she can’t go back to Ruby now, and even if she could, she wouldn’t have wanted to drag her into it anyway. (It’s evident from Red Like Roses II that she loves Ruby a LOT.) 

The lyrics from Red Like Roses II just keep popping up in my head with this idea though “Wish I could talk to you if only for a minute, make you understand the reasons why I did it” “But baby please don’t do what I did, I don’t want you to waste your life in vain”  “You’re not the only one who needed me, I thought you understood” 

Which, originally, it made me think she died, regretted even trying because she may have learned about how Salem is unkillable beforehand on her own, and that the others that needed her were Oz and the ones she was trying to protect.

But also, these could be applied to her joining/teaming up with Salem as well. The “reasons why she did it” could be her explaining why she teamed up with her to Ruby so she at least had some closure. She would’ve felt like she wasted her life in vain because she found out Salem was unbeatable (and she uses coercion or manipulates her to join her side. Maybe Salem even lied about Oz a bit.) Maybe she was on her side for a while before she disappeared, but still worked for Oz for Ruby and Yang’s sake. (maybe even Tai and Qrow’s as well. Maybe just to keep her own image up so she could “die a hero” rather than “Live long enough to become the villain.”)  If she was on Salem’s side, she’d obviously would need her to do things as well, so she’d set off on “her own” missions. And when she felt the time was right, finally just took off, not being able to keep up working for both sides anymore. Or just not wanting to side with Oz anymore.

Oof.

OR, a more kinda crazy theory, she was brainwashed in some form or another to join Salem, but that seems way less likely.

2. She ran away herself for similar reasons Raven did.

At least, a speculated reason Raven left.

Summer, with her silver eyes, was obviously very important and was a force to be reckoned with, but, what if that pressure got to her like the pressure of being a maiden got to Raven?

We see the pressure of being the team leader practically killing Ruby right now in Vol 7. The weight of the world is on her shoulders right now. (Funny she’s in Atlas, huh? lol.) Summer would’ve been in a similar situation. Oz would be there to direct her on what to do, but he’d obviously would have to have a lot of faith in her. I’d even argue to say that Summer was one of Oz’s best allies because of her silver eyes. That puts a lot of pressure and responsibility on people.

I mean Oz broke the rules for STRQ like he did for RWBY, and I speculate it’s because of the silver eyes that Summer and Ruby have.  Its said that those who had Silver eyes were natural born leaders, but I’d argue that it’s the other way around. Oz, knowing of the Silver eyes’ powers, puts them as leaders for the team and essentially forces them to become good leaders. (Or die trying I suppose.)

What if Summer wasn’t as strong as we thought, or as strong as she came off to everyone? Despite the fact that she clearly loved Ruby, (and by extension Yang) what if she had enough? 

What if she just wanted a normal life after a while? She obviously was determined to help at first, but what if it started to wear on here after a while and she wanted to stop. She couldn’t because of her importance and responsibility though. She was basically destined to work against Salem. Even if she did try to stop, Oz would obviously convince her to keep trying to defeat Salem, and maybe deep down she really does still want to help, but the pressure inside of her is just building and building with no outlet or vent. 

and then one day, she just had enough. Even though she loves Tai and Ruby and Yang, she just can’t take the pressure anymore, and sets off on “her own mission,” leaving her family behind to be in solitude, knowing they wouldn’t want to come with her if she offered/asked them to leave with her. Or maybe she did ask them? Imagine the angst of her asking Tai if they can move like far away and he just being so confused, but catches onto it years after she’s gone. I’ve always felt like Tai wanted the same thing I’m speculating Summer to want here, a normal life with the kids, and he probably fought for it after losing both Raven and Summer. We can assume he knows about the Silver eyes, since Summer was his team mate and the rest of Team RWBY knows as well, and maybe didn’t want Ruby to become a Huntress and definitely didn’t want Qrow to take her on any missions because of it. Maybe he feels like that’s what got Summer killed/to go MIA. 

The same heartache pops in my head as in the first theory though either way. She’d be kinda cowardly if that were the case (but still way different than Raven.)  We’ve been shown nothing but good about Summer (With the exception that  she’s a brat but I mean it’s kinda played as a joke.) She’s portrayed as the loving mother, and to have her abandon her kids and family just doesn’t seem right, but we could’ve been wrong about it. That’s just how everyone remember’s Summer. We never knew what was going on her head, after all. At least not yet.

but, in that case though, why not just run off to where Raven was to at least have an ally or someone who understands? I guess she wouldn’t know where she’s at, but Qrow told Yang where she was, so he would’ve presumably knew where she was back then too.  (Rosebird Writers GET ON THIS NOW if you haven’t already cuz I”m sure I’m not the first person to think of something like this. Imagine bandit!Summer LOL.) 

3. Summer had a Similar fate to Maria. 

(Suicide and gore TW) 

What if Summer got her eyes gouged out too? With Maria’s backstory, it was obvious that Silver eyed huntresses/huntsmen were being targeted, presumably by Salem. Summer would be no different. But what if she couldn’t have found her bearings after having her eyes cut like Maria did? What if she couldn’t fight off whoever did it to her and couldn’t survive the fight?

Her mission was more than likely far away from home (and maybe even from civilization) so its probably that couldn’t find her way back home or to civilization even if she survived the fight. Dying alone to starvation or a stray grimm.  Or, maybe she did survive and was able to get somewhere afterwards, but maybe didn’t have access to the eye tech Maria did. What if she did the same thing Maria did? Go into hiding basically in shame. Feeling like she wasn’t helpful anymore and wanting to hide from the world. 

Maybe it even broke her mentally.

Maybe she couldn’t recover emotionally from the damage even if she had physically, and took her own life afterwards.

“ So soon may I follow, When friendships decay, And from Love's shining circle The gems drop away. When true hearts lie withered, And fond ones are flown, Oh! who would inhabit This bleak world alone? ”

[bigskydreaming]

hope this isnt too personal, but does your motel give a discount if you book a longer stay? i know you are gonna be looking for an apartment, but since you are there now, is there a certain amount of time that they start giving a discount? that way if someone is unsure of what to donate at least they have some type of number in mind, if that makes sense

Hey, no worries on the question front, I don’t mind answering. This is probably gonna get longer/more involved than you needed, but a few people have asked me similar questions and so its worth it probably to make a post that covers all of them in depth, all in one go to save time. So, your answer’s in here lol, take what you need and ignore what you don’t! Haha.

So yes, the motel I’m staying at, they give me about as much of a discount as they give anyone, and have for awhile, since I’ve been here pretty consistently since like…August, lol. So, they charge me $85 per day instead of their usual $95 for weekdays and $115 for weekends, and yup, its still a very rundown roach motel, so if you think that seems way expensive, like…you’re not wrong, but also…its LA. *Shrugs* 

This isn’t to say that there’s not cheaper motels anywhere in LA, there’s just a couple other pretty critical factors involved there. First, it’s the cheapest I’ve found in my area, which is the area where I’ve been looking for an apartment, a part of town I’m familiar with, can get around to most places I need to go on foot, as well as having a pretty easy straightforward route to all the places I eventually need to go for my ongoing treatment/procedures. And yeah, this area is far from the cheapest in LA to live, but its not impossible either. There are one bedrooms in this area for around $1,400 a month, which again is expensive, but since my various issues have made finding a roommate/renting a room from total strangers pretty hard to find and living by myself is still my likeliest option, it is what it is. And when you consider that even in this motel I’ve been basically paying $2,600 a month, like…when I get I finally get into a place, that’ll still ease things for me tremendously because even a one bedroom at a price like that is a thousand bucks a month I won’t have to make.

And one of the other big factors is that mobility is a huge issue for me. I don’t actually think that public transpo is as bad of an issue in LA as a lot of people make it out to be - I mean, most cities do it better and the buses and metros can be pretty unreliable sometimes, but I’ve never had a huge problem using it to get to most places in the city when I’ve been without a car in the past. But the biggest drawback to my physical condition these days isn’t actually the pain or headaches, like, they suck but I can deal with them. It’s the vertigo that trips me up, because my equilibrium is all fucked and can shift randomly like with zero warning. So walking pretty much anywhere I can be moving along fine and then bam, I’m staggering like I’m drunk or even more fun, just fall flat on my ass. So walking nowadays is a very slow affair for me, not because of my pace, but because I have to keep stopping and starting and leaning up against walls any time I feel a new bout of vertigo start coming and need some extra balance until it passes. 

(Random Sidebar, but Pokemon Go is such an unexpected lifesaver, lmao, I can’t even tell you. I fucking love that thing and have it out anywhere I go, because its soooooo much better having to stop randomly in the middle of the sidewalk and hug a wall when people going by can see it and go oh he’s just trying to catch a Pokemon or battle that Gym instead of like, assuming you’re on a ten am bender or tripping out or something). 

Anyway, all of that makes it pretty much impossible to predict how long it’ll take me to walk places, and which makes it definitely impossible to catch an already unreliable bus or metro on time unless I leave way in advance to catch a bus that’s even a mile away. And most places in LA can be reached by bus or metro, but you usually have to take a lot of transfers, there’s not a lot of straight shots from A to B, and that’s what really gets me. Because the odds of me making it to the bus stop I gotta walk to after getting off at one spot and actually catch the next bus when my apps tell me to based on the routes I mapped out…they’re not good. LOL. And Uber gets expensive fast when trying to make it around LA, its not really an alternative when your budget is stretched as thin as you can make it already.

So traveling anywhere these days is typically a day long affair for me, no matter where I’m going. So I’ve definitely explored trying to stay in other cheaper locations or renting airbnbs which have better discounts for longer stays, but when you factor in my mobility issues and usual travel times…its not really as feasible as it seems at first glance. The apartment hunt is a big part of that….I pretty much HAVE to stay in the same area as I apartment hunt, since I have to do that on foot or else waste whole hours missing buses and waiting for the next ones, and with as long as it takes me to walk places….when I’ve tried staying in cheaper motels further away, by the time I even get to where I’m actually searching for apartments, I’m lucky if I can make it to two or three different locations to even get an application, before I have to start trekking back to where I’m staying.

And every day I spend apartment hunting or even traveling is a day that’s pretty much a complete wash as far as work goes. Like, with my savings looooong since wiped out completely, I live day to day, spending money about as quickly as I make it. Which means at the prices I’m talking, $85 a day for motel plus $10-$15 for food that day, (since the only way to get an actual meal without a kitchen or easy access to a nearby food bank or shelter is any take out places in the area, which add up fast) - essentially, I’ve been working nonstop every single day I can for at least the past seven months, busting my ass to make a minimum of $100 bucks a day, because that’s pretty much what it costs for me to keep just treading water at the current status quo. So anything short of a hundred dollars I make in a day tends to go immediately towards the cost of surviving, and anything more than that gets saved up to allow me even like a single day of apartment hunting or other necessary travel. Because a day I have to spend entirely walking and busing around is a day there’s no chance of me making $100, so I can only do that in the first place when I’ve managed to save up enough to take a day ‘off’ from work. 

Which, lol, means what is a day off, even? I can’t remember, haha, there’s nothing restful or relaxing about the days I have to spend traveling or walking around, let alone the days where I just can’t find enough work to make my $100. Same reason homeless shelters aren’t really viable for me at the moment. I’ve stayed in a couple at a few points in the past, years ago, and sure they’re not fun but its like, whatever, you know. But in my current state like….not spending money on a motel for the day(s) I’m staying in a shelter doesn’t actually mean I’m saving money if I’m not making even that much per day while in a shelter. Because if I can’t even get online to work while there and I end up having to travel even just to a Starbucks (with all my stuff) to work for the day, like, that already substantially cuts into how much time I actually have to work and how stressed I am which affects productivity, etc….which means it would end up taking two or three days to make as much as I need for even one day in a motel.  And so it doesn’t really save me money, it just makes it easier to fall into the trap of not being able to ever get back OUT of the shelter and into somewhere else again without any real benefit in the first place.

So, all of that also means that even days spent traveling to cheaper motels or airbnbs end up costing me just as much in lost work as I save in cheaper rent. Also, my material possessions at the moment are just few enough that I can take them all with me when I move from place to place, but that’s still enough that when even walking around and taking buses empty handed is….An Adventure, like….doing so while lugging all your shit in a couple bags that are pretty heavy when its been over a year since your last workout and you’re scrawnier than you’ve ever been in your life, lmao, like….that’s A Super Fun Adventure that tbh I try and avoid as much as humanly possible. The nearest laundromat from where I am is only a half mile away, and Laundry Day alone is so much fun I just can’t even, lolol.

And all of that’s what led to me posting my first donation post last month and this one, because when you’re only surviving on the money you make each day, a single day of not making your quota can wipe you out. I was sick for like, three days at the start of last month and that was all it took to set me impossibly behind and with peoples’ donations being the only way I managed to get on top of shit again. But then on top of that, December was always gonna be a hard month to keep meeting my daily work quota cuz of people busy with and budgeting for the holidays, and so I still only scraped by the later weeks in the month thanks to the donations I had saved from that first post and still wound up right back here in the same kinda position anyway. I’m actually a couple days behind on rent again, hence why I posted that new post yesterday, but I’ve been able to stay just under Too Far Behind, like at a point where I’m still paying something day by day so they’re giving me a chance to catch up this time. (And much thanks to the people who already donated yesterday and this morning, you’ve helped me eat and close that gap and between that and work I’m getting closer to back on top of that again, so I can start saving up to resume my apartment search and actually have money to give one when I find it).

Anyway, that should cover most of the questions I’ve gotten, lol, in my usual TMI sort of way. But idk, not anything to do with any of the anons I’ve had about this, but I think its useful for people to have more detailed breakdowns of stuff like that in general, because until someone’s been at the point of homelessness themselves, I think most people really don’t have any real sense of what that entails or how it happens. And that’s purely on the perception we’re given by society of homelessness and who ends up homeless and why. The poorer you get or the less able-bodied or ‘high-functioning’ (ugh hate that phrase but for lack of a better known one) you become, the more expensive it ends up being to survive, because of how fewer options society provides for you to choose from like….across the board, in every thing you do or need. And then society likes to point out the hail mary’s they grudgingly put in place to ‘catch’ the people who inevitably fall through the cracks as a result, like homeless shelters, etc, without really factoring in how little infrastructure is in place to ever actually get people back OUT of that and onto their feet again. 

And just as a general aside, but man do I haaaaaaaaate the language about homeless people winding up that way because they’re lazy, like lolololol. There is NOTHING comfortable about sleeping on the sidewalk in forty degree weather, and that’s the thing about ‘laziness’. It only actually exists when someone has a certain level of comfort, where enough of their needs are met that they can afford to put off doing something because they simply don’t want to do it right now. Nobody can afford to put off eating or having a bed to sleep in because they simply don’t want to make sure they eat or sleep that day. If a person’s not ‘productive’ enough to eat or have somewhere to sleep for a night, there’s a million reasons why that might be or what’s holding them back, but I can guarantee its not laziness.  For every homeless person you’ve ever seen sleeping on the sidewalk, I promise you there’s a person who has a story not all that innately different from mine, and one where the days, weeks or even months prior to them ending up sleeping on the street, they first were doing everything they were physically, mentally and emotionally capable of doing to KEEP from being that destitute.

But its the law of diminishing returns. If you’re already doing every single thing you possibly can without improving your situation, the only things that will ever actually improve it or help you reach a more sustainable environment/productivity level are things that come from OUTSIDE you and your own efforts, where and how other people help you out. You simply can not give anymore than you already give towards the task of surviving, when that is already literally ALL you are doing day in and day out. Some people get that outside help or support or borrowed energy from their family and never have to turn to friends or from there to strangers. Some people just don’t have that option.

And without that outside help, like, your own efforts to improve your situation and then simply to just survive…..that’s the diminishing returns part. Inevitably, they’re only going to get less and less effective, because none of us are perpetual motion machines. We can’t keep going forever and ever without ever having a chance to recharge, refuel, replenish ourselves. It’s the entropy of existence. Everything costs energy. And the harder you have to struggle to stay alive, the more energy it costs. The more you use up. The faster you fade. *Shrugs*

It’s why I firmly and 100% believe that the single most defiant act a person can make in an unfair world is to look at someone else who’s stuck in a cycle of entropic decay, who you see having their energy eaten faster and faster by an uncaring universe, and you find a way to share some of yours with them and in doing so tell the universe “not today, fucker, not on my watch. Screw your laws and your science, I’m gonna make sure they last even just a little bit longer, no matter what your fucked up physics has to say about it.”

And yeah, I freely admit that’s 100% self-serving at the moment and thus easy to say as someone who like, obviously needs and wants peoples’ help, lmao, but whatever. Still true whether its applied to me or someone else, and I’ve said it before things got this bad for me and I’ll say it again once things are better. 

Every time you help keep alive someone who by their own words is not ready to be done fighting yet, that’s a time you defied the universe and told it that it doesn’t always get what it wants either, and it can go fuck itself.

[swellwriting]

Not Alone

Fandom: Harry Potter Marauders Era

Pairing: Remus Lupin x Reader

Warnings: um injury?

Request: Can u do a Remus imagine where the reader is also a werewolf and they're dating? I love your Remus imagines 😍

A/N: I got the idea for this entire thing on the bus ride home on Friday and just hoped it would survive until Monday, cuz I didn’t take the time to write all weekend long oops

Word Count: 1.9k

 Part Two

Remus sat in the bed talking with his friends, the full moon had been a fairly easy one for the boys, Remus was just staying overnight in the hospital wing as per Madame Pomfreys orders just as a cautionary thing.

The hospital wing was empty and there was no fear and little pain in the room, his few wounds had all been patched up. The only sound you could hear was the boys jokes and laughs echoing through the room. That was until faint screaming could be heard from down the hall.

The doors were pushed open by two girls, both in the same year as the boys, dragging you into the room screaming crying and covered in blood.

The boys sort of stood there in shock while Madame Pomfrey helped the girls bring you to an open bed.

“What happened?”

One of your friends spoke up stuttering a bit, still in shock

“We uh, we got lost coming back from Hogsmeade and they left us behind so we had to walk and it got dark and we got lost, we knew where the edge of the forbidden forest met up with the path to the school so we uh followed the forest edge to get back.”

Madame Pomfrey interrupted

“What happened to Y/N!”

“Oh uh, well as we were walking something came out of the forest and attacked us, it was dark I’m not really sure what it was, like a giant monster of some sort, it attacked Y/n first and managed to bite her neck and scratch her because she fought back before either of us were able to cast a spell or anything, I eventually used stupefy and we dragged her here as fast as we could!”

Madame Pomfrey’s eyes widened, she froze looking at the wound while your friends held you down, still crying and screaming from the over whelming pain. Once she examined the wound she looked over to the boys who were still staring in shock.

“Girls go wash up and go to bed. y/n will stay here, she is in good hands. James, Sirius I’m gonna need you to hold her down for me”

The girls were upset “What you don’t think we can hold her down? We are her friends she needs us!”

Madam Pomfrey spoke sternly “Trust me these boys have more experience with this than you know, please go.”

Your friends left the room slowly promising to be back in the morning while James and Sirius walked over to you taking a hold of your arms where Madame Pomfreys hands were.

Madam Pomfrey was quick to attend to your wounds as you laid there crying and trying your best to stay still but you couldn’t the pain was to great.

“Uh Madame Pomfrey” James spoke up. “is it uh, Is it bad?”

Madame Pomfrey looked up to James “You want to know if it’s bad? Of course its bad look at the poor girl, if you want an idea of how much pain she’s in ask Remus.”

James and Sirius were finally realizing what kind of ‘monster’ attacked you.

Remus watched from his bed, eagerly wanting to help but being unable, he didn’t want you to be going through as much pain as he did, you didn’t deserve it, his heart ached seeing you in so much pain.

You were usually the sweet girl that sat across from him in class and hid her shy smiles behind her books, he didn’t want to see your shy smiles turned into frowns of pain and sorrow. He made a promise to himself in that moment that he would try his best to help you and be there for you if you wanted it, he didn’t want you to feel as scared or alone as he did.

The boys held you down, you had a new found strength running through your body, you weren’t changing into a werewolf but your entire body chemistry was being changed by the bite.

Sirius was having trouble restraining you, not because he wasn’t strong enough. “I can't keep holding her down like this I’m going to hurt her.”

James agreed “She is definitely going to have bruises.”

“Boys, I know it is hurting her but she is going to be in even more pain if I don’t take care of these now, just bear with me.”

You closed your eyes, tears pouring down your face, you could feel the bite in your neck, the main source of the pain in your body and you felt the scratches going down your sides, the pressure on your arms from the boys was nothing compared to your other wounds.

Although you were the one in pain you tried to reassure them through gritted teeth “Its- I’m okay you’re not- you’re not what’s hurting me.” They gave you sad smiles, James awkwardly tried to comfort you by patting your head but decided it wasn’t helping and stopped.

“Okay I need to access the scratches on her sides, we need to take her shirt off, can you grab my scissors from over there Peter?” Madame Pomfrey directed the other boy.

Your eyes widened “What, no you don’t, please don’t.”

Madame Pomfrey placed a hand on your face caringly, It’s okay Hun I can make the boys look away if that makes you feel better. You nodded, slightly embarrassed knowing they would be holding you down while you wore only your laced bra.

You were more embarrassed by the boy who watched you from across the room, you couldn’t see him but you saw him lying in his bed on the way there, wait why was he here?

“Y/N, this is gonna hurt but you can talk to the boys to distract you. Do you guys have any classes together?” Madame Pomfrey asked while she cut away at your shirt and started to clean the other wounds, you held in a scream at the stinging pain.

“Yeah, we uh I think we have Potions and um a few other classes together, but I don’t really know them” You said.

James and Sirius stood gripping your arms with their eyes shut.

“Why are you guys even here? Shouldn’t you guys have been at Hogsmeade too?”

James and Sirius remained quiet until James stuttered.

“Uh, you know we just are here for uh Remus because uh- “

Remus spoke from across the bed across from you “Same as you”

Both boys shocked by his confession opened their eyes widely, they made eye contact with you and then shut their eyes quickly mumbling “Oh shit” and “Sorry”

You blushed embarrassed by them seeing you but also smiled at their stupid expressions.

“What you got lost and attacked to?”

Remus paused. “Well yes, but many years ago.”

“What does that even mean? Wait what, what attacked me Madame Pomfrey?”

She finished up and gave you a sad smile “I have reason to believe you were bitten by a werewolf and the pain you are going through is not from the wounds themselves but from lycanthropy, something that has no cure but there are potions and such you can take and you are lucky enough to be in the same room with someone with years of experience who I’m sure would be more than happy to help you and answer any questions I can’t, now can y/n borrow a sweater or something from one of you boys?”

You sat up in your bed just wearing your bra and pants, bandages covering your sides and neck. Remus threw his Jumper to James who awkwardly handed it to you without looking at you. You pulled it over your head with the help of Madame Pomfrey, you gave a weak smile to the boy in the bed across from you.

“Now I’m gonna be just across the hall, the boys are going to leave and go to bed but Remus will be in his bed across from you okay?”

“Okay.” You said, glad Remus was here so you wouldn’t be left alone.

They slowly left the room, leaving you and Remus sitting in the dark aside from your bedside lamps.

“I’m sorry this is happening to you, I know what you’re going through, you don’t deserve this.”

“And what you deserved it?”

“Well no but, you are so nice to everyone and sweet and I could think of a few other people who deserved to be attacked more than you”

“No one deserves this Remus.”

“See! You are too sweet, speaking of sweet, here.” He threw half a piece of chocolate across the room, landing in your lap

“Thanks.” You said eagerly eating the chocolate.

“It’s a good thing to carry around, you know for the calories, I stock up every time I go to Hogsmeade.”

You frowned at the mention. “I don’t think I want to go back to Hogsmead.” You admitted quietly.

Remus frowned. “Sorry, if you want I can grab double, or I can go with you, I mean if you’d like?” He blushed worried if he was being too forward.

“Are you asking me on a date Lupin, are you attracted to my many new scars?”

He laughed lightly his eyes squinting as he did. “Well I mean, initially I was attracted to your sweet smile and your kind eyes, and the way you hide behind textbooks in class, but the scars are an added bonus.”

You blushed “Well you’re not so bad yourself Lupin.”

He chuckled. “My scars are alot worse than yours y/n”

“Yeah? Then let me see!” You challenged and his face dropped, he didn’t like showing his scars to people, especially to a cute girl he has feelings for, but it would probably make you feel better. “What you want to see them?” You nodded and he started lifting up his shirt. “No, come here.” You sheepishly demanded.

“Uh, I Okay” he slowly got up, you moved your legs so he could sit on your bed, you both sat cross legged facing each other. You moved a bit closer to him so your knees were touching as he lifted up his shirt showing the scars on his chest you reached out to touch them but paused and looked at him “Oh you can uh you can touch them if u want.”

You ran your fingers over the scars lightly making him laugh from the tickling soft touches. “I have a few on my back and my legs and then, there’s the obvious one on my face” he sounded sad as he mentioned that one.

“I’m probably gonna get lots of scars too.”

“Not if I can help it.”

“Oh and you said that I’m the sweet one.” You traced the scars across his face and pulled him close placing a kiss on his cheek where his scar was, you felt him smile and his cheeks rise under your lips.

A lot was about to change in your life, but you were glad to not have to go through it alone.

[anyu-blue]

Personal

Mobile keep scrolling. Read more vv

Bug infestation fyi.

I'm starting to get really worried...

Living here has turned into an absolute nightmare... It's nice to see the sun and to be on the top floor and have that sort of freedom and all.. but the bedbugs... I can overlook the slightly unpleasant neighbors. The thin walls. The crumbling roof (my ceiling is starting to get really bad). The leaks and places other bugs like to get in. I'm sure our neighbors do the same... But these bugs.

I didn't actually realize how tenacious and TINY they are. A female can only lay one egg a day, but in the buggy would.. that's a lot. And there only needs to be one male and explosions are imminent. Can even be from an egg she just laid, they don't have problems with inbreeding. And while a female can only mate once a day.. a male can mate with all females in his area.

So even one... One tiny, itty bitty bug that's oh so hard to see, let alone feel... Could spell disaster for an entire complex. Because those big ones I've been squashing.. yeah.. they're actually really old comparatively.. and all the new ones that have and will hatch.. smaller than a pin head. I'm only lucky enough to know that thanks to the massively gruesome display in my room rn... There are dozens.. dozens of tiny tiny, so small you wouldn't see them unless you were looking, corpses or possibly carapaces on my pad. With all the powder I've put in there they've dehydrated and ended up stopping where they were looking for food... I hope. I hope they aren't carapaces. They don't look to have moved either way.. I keep checking.. I have pictures.. but millimeters are a lot bigger to them than they are to me.... But I also keep finding more. I thought I'd just missed them initially, but I put something clean down in there a week or two ago and moved it a few days ago only to discover about 6 Tiny little dots on top of it... And a much larger, live buggy under it.

The diatomaceous earth works to a degree and I'm so grateful... But it's obviously not full proof.

....

We need to move. Because Tevie and I can't afford this place on our own...

I mean I MAY have about $200 extra by the end of the month to go towards a deposit on a new place... If our mother doesn't drop the ball on us and refuse to pay rent like she threatened... Which she can't technically legally do because she has so much of her stuff here... But may try anyway and I'm still really angry about...

But even then.. even if I DO have the extra... I can't think of a single place that will take us... Because of the risk. I don't WANT to infest a new place... I'm going insane enough as it is knowing THIS wasn't our fault....

I'm riddled with bites. RIDDLED. And I keep finding more. We even keep powdering... Tevie keeps vacuuming... I keep washing (hot water hot dryer) And the number doesn't go down. It's actually gone up. I didn't realize how bad the back of my arms were until I caught myself in the mirror today.

My legs. My feet. My back, belly, neck, shoulders, FINGERS (those ones suck). These are the ones I just happen to spot.. because they're red and puffy, but only for a maximum of 2 days before they disappear on me... And they've started itching... Due to the sheer number I may be developing the allergy.. or it's probably psychological which also isn't fun.

Who would WANT to take us in?

Even if we find someone.. which I am seriously starting to doubt... We have to get rid of so much... Tevie is distraught... Because she doesn't want to lose her bed.. or the body pillows I saved up to give her as gifts to help her sleep a few years ago... Every time I try to talk about moving she tells me to stop. To shut up... Because if we manage it.. it's going to be so hard. We're losing so much.. and we don't even HAVE that much...

I'm also worried that if we move someplace and some how manage to avoid transporting.... we're not going to be looked kindly on for sleeping/eating/spending so much time on the floor.. the couch where I'm sleeping now, the chair that goes with it, all the beds... All the pads... At least half our pillows. Blankets (especially comforters).. many clothes and our few storage thingys ( specificly ones with too small crevices).. any large/unwashable stuffed animals we still have... It all has to go. There's no way we can guarantee they'll be bug free... I'm honestly terrified I'm going to have to give up my Scooby too... My comfort blanket..

What will a landlord or property manager think when they come to check on us or if we need something repaired?

Most of the furniture we are using isn't ours anyway.. it's our mom's. Lucky me.. we've completely fallen out. There goes the kitchen stuff. Washer. Dryer.

I mean it FEELS bad enough... But for some reason people really judge hard too. We wouldn't be able to to have anyone over because of all we'll lose, and poor Tevie is even more upset because of that too. We will be lucky to have my TV and our games/stations maybe... But not right away because they will need full proof decontamination.. heavy cleaning and freezing if it won't kill them (ie any electronics).. if we can borrow a freezer or have one available to us.

I have already given Tevie my promise that no matter what, she doesn't have to sleep on the floor.. that she can have my hammock since it has made my old injury act up (mostly because I suck at sleeping correctly so I hurt myself unintentionally. Another reason I really miss having a bed.) But it makes her feel worse knowing she'll be taking it from me after I fought so hard for it (it's an old guilt thing having to deal with how she was kept in place specificly). But it's something we can clean and take with us with little danger.. I hope.

I just... UGH what do I do?

If we had.. gods.. idk.. if we had a $1000 gift even... We could manage to start over... to break our lease and throw 95% of stuff out... It would be no less painful, but we could get some cheap dressers or something brand new for storage.. air mattresses or cheap frames and pads for places to sleep.. a large freezer to salvage some clothes and blankets and anything that will survive a deep freeze, plus a place for food storage all in one.. or just a small, cheap new wardrobe if nothing else. Like $50-$75 each... Money for the cost of moving ourselves.. and a deposit, first month's rent.. just a start... Until we could start to save something. Anything.. to get whatever else we may need then want.

But then even a gift of $1000 would also devaste us rn..

Due to the reporting laws, After taxes, it would push us over the minimum income for a family of 2 per month and I'd lose my health insurance (means no meds). We could be turned away from housing due to having too much in the bank... Why are poor people not allowed to have savings anymore? Why is so much demanded up front when the reason people are going into programs is because they DON'T have it??

We could NOT report it.. and then potentially get fined for fraud...

Ugh... A lot of this is worst case scenario stuff... And I could have some things wrong here... But it's what's on my mind... And the very real possibility of living out of a car here in the near future.. if I'm even allowed to keep it. If I'm not... I lose my job, which everyone already knows... My dad will take Tevie and me in in a heartbeat.. but I can't risk infesting his or anyone he gets to help's house. He and our friends can't afford it any more than we can. None of them can.. there's already 7 of my family members living in that 3 bedroom house for Pete's sake... I'd sooner opt to throw ALL my stuff away, even the clothes on my back...

I can't tell what it's going to be yet. How far it all will go.. I just know it's going to be so incredibly difficult no matter what.

...

Slightly unrelated rant here..

Meanwhile my mom doesn't have to worry about a (crumbling) roof over her head because her bf's parents own his place from what I understand. While they may struggle like us to put food on the table here and there, she never has to fear homelessness. She has a bed, a dresser, plenty of furniture, space to be herself, support.. even a bf who wants to give her MORE of all of the above.

... She's also allowed up here with access to everything anytime (I've asked for a heads up of when she does want to be here only so I can be out of her way, but that's too disrespectful of me because she pays her portion of the rent, so she's never here)... And so is never high and dry or fearful... And so feels like it wouldn't be a terrible move to just drop this place and us altogether. To take what she wants and/or needs and leave without fear.

Tevie and I are on the brink of losing everything... And she just doesn't care. I'm still angry about that too. About her lies in caring about us.. because she clearly doesn't. She doesn't HAVE to go through this with us and has chosen not to. And I don't think there's anything I CAN do about that either. I wouldn't want to go through this either.. I mean I REALLY don't want to be going through it right now.. but I, for one, have refused to abandon my sister. My job. My pet. And my hobbies (for now).. which means keeping my clothes (work has dress code).. mandatory decent night's rests.. fighting the infestation/dealing with bites... Working on moving/losing stuff all by myself... It's exhausting.. and I'm terrified.. but I can't just run away from it... (Especially cuz I got no monies to do so).. I'm mad because she CAN.. perhaps, actually, jealous is a better word than mad... because I understand. As twisted and backwards as her logic is in a lot of places.. self preservation is pretty smart technically.. and dropping all of this does mean less stress for her which is important to life...

*sigh*... I think I will need to ask for help soon... I'm the thinker.. and I am struggling to think my way through this.

I'm struggling to find a way to remain or even BECOME independent like I want to be... ESPECIALLY Because of these bugs... If we could just move.. if there were no bed bugs. If the only obstacle was getting a place we could afford and moving Into that place.. we could do it... But losing near everything in order to do it... To have to rebuild so much.... (Beds.. heck FURNITURE is expensive)... I don't think we can do that.. not alone.

Not that, hey, a table is ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY.. nor are chairs (posture can be worked on and upheld without those)... Nor are many pillows and blankets. One should do a person each... In Montana Winters it can get difficult.. but it's easily possible to sleep in sweaters and layers and stuff... Keep your head propped up carefully and it may be possible to avoid getting colds and back aches from sleeping on the floor too. And cats.. well they do need perches.. that bit IS important.. but they will gladly curl up next to you and in clothes to keep warm

..

Maybe I am overthinking... Maybe it's a GOOD thing to get rid of pretty much everything... I mean.. we don't NEED all of it... It's just nice.. don't need a dresser or books or a lot of clothes or a bed, really... We're human. We're animals... We're the only ones who have 'need' of these comforts and convieniences I'm so sad to lose... A nest is nice, but shelter is more important.. as is food.

Maybe... Maybe I can track down a 1 bedroom place we can afford instead of looking for a 2 bedroom and getting pegged with double the ridiculous prices... I mean.. without having living room stuff... The living room is just a room, right? It's technically my bedroom right now even... any kept TVs and electronics don't need to be off the floor if they're not plugged in...

... why am I freaking out exactly?

Well I certainly don't want to track in any bedbugs to a new place... That is valid... But the rest of it.. the rest of it does seem rather silly. I don't need to keep nearly as much as I want to. ... I suppose my biggest challenge now may be is working with Tevie to see this and be okay with it too...

Yay 3am second-wind ^^

[dissolvingache]

bought the book a cat’s guide to money & am filling it out via text since i got the ebook.

BUILDING THE FOUNDATION

I am a creator, survivor, thinker.

In the past, I have let my relationship with money plague my thoughts and spending habits. Everything I do is based on how expensive it is, and I will always look for free ways to do things, but now I'm ready to take control of my finances. I'm ready to have a healthy relationship with financial things and be able to spend money on leisurely activities and seeing my friends.

I am afraid that I won't have enough money to survive because my mother has instilled in me that I will be homeless if I make any minor mistake and that my future will be ruined if anything with my finances goes wrong.

I am saying yes to: travel, visiting friends, concerts, food, things that aren't a necessity but would make me more comfortable, fun things.

I am saying no to: people related to me, spending money on things I don't actually want to get/do/go to, letting student loans take over my life.

I want to undo the harmful money script of money controling the things I do and don't do in life because it prevents me from enjoying life. We're all gonna die, so I might as well do things I want to do now rather than waiting to do things in an uncertain future that may never arrive.

VALUES

People describe me as intelligent, kind, logical, creative, responsible, funny, passionate, hard-working, caring

I'm happiest when I am with friends, creating something, spending time with cats, listening to music, watching something I like, playing a game, learning something, writing

I'm happiest around people who teach me new things, who encourage me, who push me to try new things, who are relaxed, who create things and share them with me, who are supportive

If it were totally up to me, I would spend my days: listening to music, writing, designing something, singing, using skills I have that not everyone does to help others

I want to be remembered for these qualities: helpful, caring, passionate, loyal, creative, intelligent, supportive

GOAL IDEAS

Live on my own

Get a role that I enjoy / out of sales

Get a cat of my own

Make a zine

Help people

Publish something (poetry, photography, short film, etc.)

ACCELERATE YOUR TIMELINE

you have 10 years to live, you'll never feel sick, but don't know when you'll die.

What would you change about your lifestyle? With the extra money, I may be able to move out already or much sooner at least. Start trying to get into a different role ASAP. Move near a friend much sooner. Focus more on spending time creating. Visit my friends a lot more often. Work less because I don't need to save for retirement.

What would you change about your finances? Start making the minimum payments on my loans cuz who cares if I don't finish. Spend more money on things I want and traveling. Worry less about money. Don't worry as much about saving money for retirement or even long-term, just have enough in case of emergency.

TOP FINANCIAL GOAL

Stability: having enough savings as a buffer and also being able to consistently afford a place alone, groceries, utilities, and other expenses Community: contribute financially to strangers in need Charity: giving a percentage of my income to causes I care about Creativity: have more time and access to resources to create Independence: have enough of a buffer to live alone Leisure: being able to go to concerts, travel to visit friends, travel to cool places Friends: being able to visit my friends and live near at least one of them

Why are values such an important part of a financial plan? To align your spending with what's important to you. To make sure your expenses make you feel as good as they can and so the ones that don't make you feel as good are ones that you have a healthier relationship with.

What do you think is the risk if you craft a financial plan without considering your values? You craft a plan based out of fear, out of debts you need to pay off. Your plan doesn't take into account your happiness. It continues being a slot. You craft a plan based on what you think is right based on society rather than what is important to you.

You learned in this lesson that financial well-being is not net worth or salary. Why is that? Financial well-being is having a healthy relationship with your finances, so that you don't have to constantly be stressed about your finances. You can focus on other things and enjoy life.

What does achieving financial wellness mean to your every day life? It means having money to spend when I need to or want to, I am saving money, I am paying off my loans, and I am working toward my goals.

Signs of financial imbalance:

No plans for financial future

No savings plan

No assets (except vehicle)

Frequently worry about money

I want to most improve on frequently worrying about money.

[vio1315]

ALSO 14 BC APPARENTLY I CAN"T READ?? Like that's one of the most interesting ones on the list anD I SKIPPED IT BY ACCIDENT

You are the kindest to me, thank you xD

14. Your OC finds themselves in your universe and you are their only contact. How well do they handle the adjustment and how would you try to help/hinder/contain them?

We go through the main 6 first, as always. And this reply can be extra long now that it’s a separate thing~

Skye would be so confused, but also pretty eager and easy to handle. Like she’d wanna get back home for sure, cuz heck, she has a family that needs her, but along the way of trying to figure out how to return, she’d be learning as much as possible. She’d be a regular wikipedia dweller as soon as I showed it to her. I’m assuming she’d magically be able to speak English, too. She’d think computers were like the most awesome thing ever, and nothing would really top it. I would help by googling solutions to getting her home and also teaching her how to navigate this world. I bet she would enjoy memes, actually. I’d introduce her to microwavable meals and I think this would be another highlight for her. She would love documentaries and probably cry a bit while watching them because they’d remind her a little of home 

Gill would be probably 3x as anxious about things as Skye. He needs to get home like yesterday, and he’s already decided it’s impossible, but that won’t stop him. Despite this, he’s well mannered, and restrains showing any of this. He’d take some pains to learn cultural differences so he could operate better in this world. When he got more comfortable with the assurance that ‘time isn’t passing there, I promise’ he might chill enough to try and learn all the languages at once. Just for funsies. It’s relaxing. He’d probably act more like a grandma on a computer than Skye. Like not being able to nail down which bar is a search bar and which isn’t so well. Won’t stop writing like it’s a personal letter even when I explain it’s more polite not to. He likes googling things, but shies way far away from it when I explain that there’s bad sources, and he ends up being more of a library gremlin. It’s familiar, yet he can also get books shipped there, and heck, how nice. He probably thinks the lack of magic is total bs, but he keeps watching surgical shows. Probably watches the news 3 days straight when he discovers it, and then is quickly done with it and actually bothers with the computer again whenever there’s something current he’s interested in. Takes notes on everything. Thinks all the paper I have lying around is super cool. Eagerly has a special notebook for stuff he wants to tell people when he gets back. I help in the same way I help Skye, just with more reassurance. Oh, I also tell him that white hair is popular and people dye their hair that way (ON PURPOSE EVEN) so everyone will think he looks cool. He’d appreciate that.

Marth is the actual worst about wanting to get back home, and stays focused on it for much longer, even when I keep saying it’s something only I’ll be able to do for him -once I figure out how- 

My poor son is very anxious for most of his stay as he can’t stop worrying about the others, even when told time won’t move there until he gets back. -I would tell none of them that I wrote them, so I can never quite convince him- I would probably sign him up for the nearest horse therapy thing I could get access to, or just horse riding in general, and that would help actually. He could hold my dog the other times, or visit my niece or cousins. This would help. He’s not a nerd like Skye and Gill, so he wouldn’t get too into the computer, though he’d be really blown away by some technology, I think a lot of it would just seem too similar to magic to him. Though he’d lowkey be really excited that he could use it too. He’d probably force me to do responsible things a lot, though. Like ‘Clean your room or I will remove everything from it and put it outside’ and like 

‘we’ve been sitting inside all day while you stare at that thing’ 

‘I’m researching how to get you back’ 

‘no, this sounds too familiar, no. We’re getting food and also going outside’

‘but don’t you want–’ and then I am forcibly removed from my room. 

I would probably help him by lowkey trying to teach him about mental health things, but he’d sabotage this by only being interested in what people he knows could have. I’d also never be able to leave him alone because he would absolutely go out and continue trying to interact with people as if he was back in his universe despite KNOWING BETTER because I TOLD HIM how to interact with them, but he’s a little troll that way and realizes there’s not many consequences. This is also his tactic to get me outside more. He’s troublesome, but also amaze, I have acquired another dad

Kydin would be really lowkey about how panicked he would be, because he always hides this type of crap, but internally, he’d be freaking out hardcore. Out of everyone, he believes me the fastest when I tell him that time won’t matter. And as soon as I explain things to him, he’s immediately turned all the panic into excitement. He’d drag me out and try to make friends despite me being like ‘uhm, you won’t be able to see them again once you go home so making friends is gonna be heartbreaking’ Nah, he doesn’t care. When someone mentions facebook in his friendship questing, I have to show him computers and facebook, and sign him up. He has like 100 friends the next day. He knows gossip about everyone in my neighborhood, and about people I’ve never heard of. He gets into TV hardcore. He particularly likes dramas, soap operas, comedies, and musicals. The comedy one is odd because he doesn’t get half of what’s supposed to be funny, he just likes the atmosphere of them. He stops me from researching a lot to try and get me to watch a movie with him. When I refuse too much he’d go out to a theater. Eventually he’s applying for jobs so he can go places with his friends. He’s basically started a new life within like 3 months. I ask him if he even wants to go home anymore, and he very genuinely and sentimentally tells me that he can’t wait to return home. He knows more celebrity gossip than I’ve known in my whole life. He knows more gossip about me than I know. When he finally does return home, everything in my community is disrupted. Who will they hire as a babysitter? Who will they get advice from for their woes? Who will help with the charity bake sale? Who will be the friend who you can ask to watch your dog while you’re away no matter how short of notice? WHO WILL CLIMB A TREE TO SAVE THE CAT AND ALSO MIRACULOUSLY SURVIVE THE FALL FROM SAID TREE? 

Nobody knows, we only know that we will never be able to live life the same way again

Ariella is… an interesting one. She sees that she understands nothing of this world, and she’s angry about it. Why do we hug people when we see them after some time apart? What are we? Barbarians? And how can we speak in such a lax manner? Despicable. She will not hear of things like ‘different culture’ and ‘please calm down’ or even ‘it’s probably not super legal to carry around a real sword, oh gosh please stop’ NO, we are the ones who are wrong here. When I tell her that I’ll find a way to get her back, she feels satisfied with this, and somehow this is my actual job now. If I leave for work, it is cause for all kinds of scolding. How dare I. 

Eventually, Ariella has decided that I’m one of the good ones, and there’s not so much scolding, though the sarcasm is more than I can handle anyways. She can never quite figure out how to interact with me in a way that makes me consistently happy, but she tries in her own way. She likes to go out on her own, and inevitably I follow from a distance. The world isn’t ready for her. I wasn’t ready for her. She discovers things like the news, and I show her how to use google, and soon she’s complaining to me about politics and certain laws that I had no idea existed. She does not notice when I have lost interest. 

One day I catch her humming something from Disney, and refuses to answer how she knows it. Another day I hear her singing something from a screamo band. I never tell her that even though she’s singing it like a normal song, I’m well aware it’s from a screamo band.

She thinks running water is the most amazing thing in this world. She watches a lot of makeup tutorials once she discovers youtube. She likes to correct them in the comments. In the end I make her her own account so I don’t lose face. I avoid her a little bit, and she’s okay with this.

James is probably the least concerned about his new surroundings of anyone. He’s used to crap not making sense. He’s more surprised when he figures out it’s real, but still the most chill about this. He gets a job almost immediately, because he’s not okay with me supporting him. He decides his own rent after I keep refusing, and leaves money in my drawer. He’s fairly drawn to TV, but ends up doing a lot of research into his areas of interest. He rarely asks me direct questions and tries and figures things out on his own. After I’d taught him enough to use google, he actually used that for everything, and was the only one who grasped the concept quickly and stuck with it. This doesn’t mean he was at all good at understanding everything, as even google used a lot of terms he wasn’t familiar with, and inevitably I would find him struggling with something and just explain it in simple terms to him. He would always apologize for bothering me. 

After some time he’d figure out that I’m not incredibly wealthy, and act a little more relaxed in some ways, realizing we’re essentially equals. He talks to me a lot more then, and lets me help him more. He starts doing all the yard work, and is really shocked when without prompting I give him permission to have a small garden. Tools like the lawn mower and such kind of frighten him, and at first he tries to avoid using them. With time he ends up really liking them. 

He’s absolutely shocked when he learns that humans and animals are basically all there is. He keeps listing things like ‘centaurs’ and asking if they exist, and has no idea how to handle the fact that they don’t and never have. He finds it sad, and feels like they went extinct instead. 

I would absolutely tell him that his feelings towards Ariella were mutual, and because he’d avoided mentioning a thing about his home to that point, he’d be very defensive and concerned for awhile, but eventually start asking questions. He’d start asking about if magic really didn’t exist here as he tried to figure out how I could know. I’d let him talk to me about everything he had to keep secret and complain as much as he wanted. He would resist at first, but he’d eventually do this quite often. 

He ends up liking cars quite a bit, and is the only one who would be allowed to try and drive them, and aside from Kydin the only one who was very interested in them at all. Y’know, past the normal ‘oh gosh what is that’ stuff.

He’d be the only one to even suspect that I wrote his world and such, but honestly it’s only because I would only need to be open with him about it. He’s the only one who needs that kind of assurance that someone knows all the stuff he’s seen so he can speak freely about it. Ultimately he decides it’s something else though, because even though he’s the most open about being fiction, he ultimately can’t accept it. Particularly since he’s gone through such crap, and he can’t believe someone chilling on a couch with him showing him how to work netflix would be the one who did that. 

[agentlemancallerhooray]

Alternate history timelines I am crazy interested in seeing:

-MLK survived assassination attempt ( I definitely don't relish the idea of MLK still getting hurt by this attempted assassin, but I do think that the image of MLK giving a stirring speech with his arm in a sling after surviving an attempt on his life would stir the public in ways that would have been more beneficial than his death and the understandable riots that followed were. I am not knowledgeable enough on this subject to actually know what that world would look like which is why I would love to look at these timelines if someone else writes them or gives me access to multiple dimensions. I apologize if the statement above is an anyway racist or playing on tropes that I'm not fully aware of. If you wouldn't mind letting me know what those are if I have touched on some negative tropes or stereotypes, I would be very appreciative. It's not your responsibility to educate me but I welcome it.)

- Kennedy assassination foiled (I know he would still be and was #problematic but think of the change in the outcome of the Vietnam war alone... some docs I've watched suggested that LBJ continued in Vietnam so hard thinking he needed to stay the course after the assassination on everything Kennedy wanted which was great for the civil rights act but Kennedy probably would have pulled out of Vietnam looong before) (also I would like to see EITHER Kennedy assassination foiled, JFK or bobby, although I do support how weary and distrusting everyone became of the US government once the assassination investigation got a little strange. I don't think that there is a conspiracy I think that the wrong things were said of the wrong times and people got real suspicious and had a lot to be suspicious of not necessarily the JFK assassination. But probably every other governmental conspiracy theory is probably true. And every time we as a collective Society lose faith in our government that day is a victory for intelligence and the Common Man. Can you tell im a depressed millennial?)

- FDR succeeded by the man who had been his VP his first few terms (powerful people pushed him out cuz they didnt want his liberal politics being in the presidents seat if FDR died- pretty sure he wanted more gender and racial equality in the 40s- in the 40s!) (Also Truman seems like he was a smaller dude who compensated for that with a shit ive-got-a-big-dick-believe-me attitude)

-there are so many more can I just time travel please but with the added kick of alternate realities?