#darkness is just more emo then Jake I think lol

[duskwoodraven]

EPISODE 8 SPOILERS

Jake: Okay, I want you to talk to this person named “Darkness”, he seems a bit closed off and secretive so you’ll have to be careful and earn his interest. This might be tricky.

MC: So I basically have to treat him like an edgier version of you?

Jake: Well yes— I mean... huh?

MC: *flips shades and smirks* This will be easy.

[goatpaste]

WC design/headcannon/ect masterlist- Part B

another chunk of all the headcanos/AU’s/design notes/warrior names for kits and leaders never given a canon one/ect for all the wario cats!

this one is for all the B named cats!

info under the cut

Badgerfang

badgerfang i think a lot of us have a big ol soft spot for, but ought i really care him and his family i think it needs more than jusT the badgerfang death like for real

one of the biggest reasons i wanna learn to animate is because i wanna make a badgerfang and flintfang amv! it would be sdkg more about flintfang because i think he’s a neat character who has a lot of potential for development 

like mAN you ever stop and think about not only was flintfang sad over badgerfangs death because it was sad, bUT also because badgerfang was his sisters kit AND to the thought of blackstar is flintfangs brother. flintfang had to deal with playing a hand in badgerfangs death then watch his brother loyally follow brokenstar, then tigerstar 🥺

Baypaw

baypaw was the first of his lil chunk of family i design, i didnt have a sorrelstripe design made yet so i ultimately decided to base his design on his grandpa Lionblaze. smaller fluffy lionblaze.

I know we should be coming up to baypaw getting their warrior name soon

i think a name like Baysong or Baygale

Beech Tail

the only thing i have  to say is dgjksh when i designed the ‘beech’ prefix designs it was late and i totally went ‘beech... the beach’ and noT beech the tree sdjkgh. so i designed beech tail like that of a penguin sdjkgh

Beechfur

beechfur , riverclan warrior under mistystar’s leadership

i imagine beechfur is be EXTREMely accident prone, from the first instant of getting sick and healed by leafpool all the way up till the end. He is in and out of the medicine cats den constantly. and through this formed a big ol crush on the pretty medicine cat apprentice Willowshine who has had to full on decline his feelings. he is not the only one who has had this treatment, many a riverclan cats have found themself charmed by willowshine

Beechpaw

Beechpaw, a apprentice of ancient skyclan who were forced to leave the forest territory.  i imagine beechpaw was of the few cats who did everything he could to keep the others in good spirit while they tried to find their home, which often came to the annoyance of all his distraught clanmates. he never stopped doing all he could to put a smile on their face until he died.

he was the last apprentice cloudstar named a warrior and only lived a few moons after becoming one.

warrior names i like for him are like Beechshed or Beechshine

Beenose

slight update to my beenose design because i want her to fit my newer darktail group clown aesthetic 

another design note is her and her siblings all are themed after a diff color of the rainbow, beenose is yellow. their mom snowbird has a pale rainbow pattern and each other her kits is a diff color of the rainbow

Beetlewhisker

Beetlewhisker is another one of my quiet favorites i have, and it is because of the error of him being alive for SO many books after he died.

like !!! bitch had a HUGE major death and went on to live for a long time aND be listed as a cats mentor (which i think that has been changed now)

i love the idea of in a way beetlewhisker WAS with the clans that long after his death. that due to his death was in a way locked in the dark forest, his soul stuck there. but because of the ways of the dark forest cat’s he was chased out, and unable to enter starclan having died in the dark forest, now cursed to live in limbo.

He walks to the grounds of riverclan watching over his clanmates while they rest hoping that no one else is to be preyed upon by the dark forest like he was ever again. 

theres ghost stories of riverclan cats seeing the shape of a cat shining brightly when hit by moonlight. a peaceful spirit of the past who protects them.

and in design 100% his design was made to look like that of a smeleton bones lol

Bellaleaf

the erin team will have to pry bellaleaf and firestar being siblings from my cold dead hands!!

you can’t say they look basically exactly alike and their not related i wont take it sdjkg. i DIE for the idea oh whore jake managing to have so many kids that get into the clans. like the over saturation of jake dna through the clans ruining them absolutely kills me sdjkg

i also imagine ravenpaw having like deja vu of firestar when he looks at bella, cats who knew firestar look at her and can’t help feel she reminds them of someone. 

Berryheart

another one of the designfor snowbirds kits, berryheart is the red themed sibling.

she also got a slight design change to be more clowny to fit her time in darktail’s group

Berrynose

i just love berrynose, i think hes very terrible and i love him a lot

i think the books are cowards and i think berrystar woulda been the fUNniest outcome oR like

imagine the powermove if berrynose lived and squirrelflight fucking made berrynose her deputy likE

also berrynose is a lil gay brat, he has a thick country accent and everyone find him weirdly charming. many hate him but cant help but find him alluring. 

he actually is a very good warrior, he stays on top of his task and brings in the prey. his biggest problem is his ego and his need to get in others faces all the time

i love when he’s paired with lionblaze because their stupid rivarly is so good i really wish it was more plot important and lasted longer i LIVE for best friend rivals lion and berry

buT i also love him with jayfeather for the simple dynamic of the one cat who would probably hate him more than anyone else but oops he’s in love to

or him and breezepelt because they could be lil shitheads togeather

Birchface

the biggest thing i can say about birchface is 100% birchface watched over mapleshade’s kits, doesnt let appledusk or his own family hurt them. He treats them like his own.

in AU’s where birchface lives i defiantly can see him having a HUGE crush on mapleshade and being much like thrushpelt was to bluefur. being as a surrogate dad for her kits and keeping the secret.

in my main AU with mapleshade dieing and getting a redemption its mostly the same except they become a sweet happy family together in starclan.

he’s a big goofy dad type and his father had hoped he would become leader one day, but worried that he was too lax with the code and not as driven to fight as others and began to think he would have to rely on frecklewish instead. then they both died and he ended up turning to his youngest son pinefur

Blade

this is just a one time ghost cat buT  i like the design i made for her.

im all here for dark forest cats having this black oozing mark from where they died, starclan gets being covered in stardust and maybe having from pretty plats or glow or other representative stuff on their death. but ghost cats are loUD with their mark of death. its a nagging weight they carry around based on their inability to move on to their respective afterlives. For blade its giant bright red tire marks that slowly circle around her body.

Blazefire

just a lil boy

i imagine he kinda constantly has crushes on cats from other clans which while some might tell him to hush when he shares his thoughts on the pretty cat from riverclan he gets some loving teasing from dovewing and antfur

Blazefire is also miss nearly all of his tail

Blizzardstar and Blizzardwing

not much here but to say 100% i designed blizzardwing in mind of being that of a grandson or great grandson to blizzardstar

Blossomfall

shrug idk a lot to say about her beyond, i know she’s a asshole character but i remember liking her, i think she’s mean but its kinda fun in a way

i think i also just have this soft spot for millies kits because their millie’s

also i just like my blossomfall design i think she’s v fun

Blossomkit

another shadowclan kit who died under brokenstar’s ruling.

i think as sad as it is, i can imagine blossomkit to be badgerfang’s sister, just another sad thing to think about for fernshade’s litter. the potential idea of all her kit’s dying because of brokenstar

a warrior name for her that would been cute woulda been like Blossomglaze or blossomsprout

Bluebellkit

bluebellkit sure disappeared from the books. she’s one of those kits that like, she already had a mouth full of a name and i wish i coulda seen what they woulda named her as a warrior

but she’s another one of snowbird’s rainbow themed kids, her ofc being the blue one.

i think a cute warrior name for her could been Bluebellwhistle or bluebellfoot

Blouder

i lobe boulder i think he is very under appreciated!! 

i think it be very fun to get a novella or something in this POV,,

he’s just hangin out back there yknow,,,

Bouncefire

(bit of an art change from here as i took a break between these two and switched programs)

idk a lot about actual bouncefire, i think the only books with any real characterization in it was ones i havent read

buT id really like to imagine growing up he saw his mentor patchfoot as a father figure and was ultimately the reason patchfoot and his mom got together. and bouncefire being absolutely ecstatic about it. thinking patchfoot is the coolest guy

bouncefire gets along good with his half siblings

gay cat and wanna be emo but just is kinda angy

Brackenfur

my biggest brackenfur AU is my medicat brackenfur which i have info of here

https://goatpaste.tumblr.com/post/631020627780911104/au-where-insteed-of-fireheart-picking-up

and

https://goatpaste.tumblr.com/post/632972589046890496/mmm-writing-out-like-big-plot-point-changes-in-my

the other thing vaguely mention in these but would probably be more prominent in his og story

but brackenfur is quietly the biggest mess in the family. Being on pare with confidence and energy as cinderpelt when they were young, after her accident somethin changed for him. he loved his sister but is a big distant. but its hardly noticeable between the two as they worked very separate jobs in the clan

then his other sister, brightpaw has her accident and brackenfur begins to question something

but when he his the last to leave in the thunderclan group to their new home he stops and looks back at his mother frostfur who is old and frail look, though she wasnt young the damage of the forest hit her hard. 

this when brackenfur decides starclan has it out for his family, especially the mollies. they were cursed he was sure.

moons later he is expecting his kits with sorreltail, letting his mind rest on the idea, the crazy notion that some greater force wanted the she-cats in his family dead. 

then the day his kits arrive cinderpelt dies to the badgers. he pushes down these feelings down again it was the time. But he couldn’t help but think that, if leafpool was there, if starclan had given them a sign of the badgers, anything. maybe cinderpelt might have lived. but he pushes it back down and tells himself it was a warriors death

and then his daughter, cinderpaw is struck by the tree and the stirring in his mind grows stronger. why has starclan done this to his family

then honeyfern gets bit by the snake. how could starclan be so cruel, their always so young.

then his sweet sorreltail fought strongly for her two young daughters future

and on his own, forced to watch seedpaw drown and lilypaw be haunted by what happened.

the women in brackenfurs family is cursed and he bears the burden of relizing it, of living and watching each of them suffer until the end

to the ones that lived and are happy still, with no burdens in their lives he watches happily making sure NOTHING bad comes their way. he would fight starclan themselves to make sure his family is safe and happy

Breezepelt

in design Breezepelt has a p average length tail. which for him is a huge disappointment. His father crowfeather has a long slender windclan tail, a trait that is held to high standards in his family. a trait passed all the way down from windstar herself who had the longest and most beautifully windy tail. 

Breezepelt has a angry spot about this because he feels lacking and especially disconnected to his father. BUT double this with jayfeather having only half windclan blood has a tail even longer than crowfeathers 

i also would NOT put breezepelt with heathertail, i dont see any reason for it. like first off this bitch gay, id love for him to have a boyfriend and it think it should be berrynose because one, their both terrible i think it be funny and i also think its funny to ship berrynose with lionblaze or jayfeather so im like, whats another brother (to be clear not shipped all together, this is separately) and two, the idea heathertail and poppyfrost lesbian could exist

then the big BIg thing is, i would take breezepelts character and gut what happened in crowfeathers trial out of both him and crowfeather

i talk about it a bit here, but i think ill re talk about it in full when i get to crowfeather https://goatpaste.tumblr.com/post/190544981670/breezepelt

Briarlight

miss briarlight i love you!!

very sweetgirl

i based her design off sakuras and bleed heart doves. idk what possessed me but when i went to design her i knEW she was gonna be pink she needed to be she deserved it

briarlight buff as shit in her forlegs she loves trying to rope leafpool and jayfeather into lil strength contest she always wins (sometimes she will let leafpool win on days she needs it) 

her and jayfeather are wlw/mlm best friends. jayfeather calls her pidge which started as a mean nickname that she simply loved and embraced fully

also in my AU with medicat lionblaze i can very much see briarlight and lionblaze being very sweet friends. like big strong lionblaze who is actually docile and compassionate about his work and briarlight loud and rooting him on

Brick

swear to god until i got back into warrior cats this year i had always thought brick was a lady and her and bone were suppous to be scourges like adoptive bad parents jkdg

anyways im still with that, she/her agender brick who adopts their terrible son scourge and is in a monogamous partnership with bone’s. strictly business defiantly not married, they just have a son together. 

Brindlewing

idk a ton about her, but from her wiki it dsjkgh doesnt look like theirs  alot

but i’d like to imagine she’s a very anxious girl and struggles in crowds especially around cat she doesn't know. she feels more comfortable when one of her sisters is with her or her grandmother nightcloud. Nightcloud has always been a source of self confidence for her and they love each very much.

Brindlewing also inherited crowfeather’s family long tail that skipped breezepelt. Brindlewing holds the tail in her mouth as a means of helping her anxiety.

Bristlefrost

a biG design overhaul for my bristlefrost design, i really didnt like the old design i made her. wanted her to be a lil darker colored and in general have a cuter design

i gave her diff color eyes to mark her double agent status one eye green like her fathers and the other sharing the same blue i use for ashfur’s eye color

i kept her with the one white paw which i give to any descendent of jake, just because canonically she is ivy and ferns kid.

but in my rewrite their not togeather. Fernsong was a kittypet or a loner who had lost their mate and home and was found by ivypool caring for his three kittens alone. this is more fernsong headcanon, but bristlefrost is there

bristle and all the kits love ivypool they look up to her big time and all wished she was their mentor when they became apprentices. 

bristlefrost often confides in her father when feeling guilty or unsure of herself and he is always there for her

Bristlekit

half brother to tallstar

i imagine woolytail’s family seems to have a high mortality rate with their kids with only one maybe two usually making it to adulthood. bristlekit would die before becoming an apprentice and spent time in starclan with finchkit and later rabbitkit waiting for wrenflight and tallstar.

if bristlekit made it to being a warrior id like to think he was named Bristlefeather or Bristlefoot

Brook where small fish swim

teeny update to my brook design to give her small white fish dots matching her brothers spots

her general design is mean to be loosely based on a mountain lion. 

she got strong powerful mountain climbing body

i also wish her romance was better developed and wasnt like based in a lot of white savior romance plots given to native and native coded characters

in general the tribe really shoulda just been written better

Brownpaw

brownpaw, brother to littlecloud killed mosspaw as a kit on accident and was apprenticed for it by brokenstar

i imagine him and his brother wetfoot killing mosspaw effect them both deeply. for wetfoot it shook him to the core and made his doubt his own claws

for brownpaw it set him down the path of destruction. brokenstar rewarding him for what happened with mosspaw was the biggest enabler

brownpaw would go on to be a blood thirsty apprentice who would throw his young life away under brokenstars order of attack.

had he been made a warrior i think brokenstar woulda named him Brownmoss claiming he had earned the name when he took it from mosspaw.

Bug

design for bug because i think the book she was in didnt exist when i originally started drawing every warrior cat

love her!

bumblestripe

bumblestripe’s character makes me sad

im SUCH a millie stan and for one of her kids to be disabled then treated like garbage to the end of her life and written super ablest and then her other two kids are total shit heads? makes me sad

i wish at lEAST millie and graystripe had a second little, maybe just one total sweetheart

and its been forever since i read the books. but i remember bumblestripe being a real nobody characters just very generic personality until romance plot for dovewing came into play. and now he super sucks!

i wish he coulda just been a good character who loved dovewing, is sad and kinda jealous of her feelings for tigerheart but in the end respects her decisions and even admires her courage to follow her heart even if it led her over the borders.

Buster/Rippletail

slight buster redesign to fit more in the circus clown look from when he was in the kin

also design note, he’s got an orange themed design to go along with his rainbow themed siblings

Buzzardkit

windclan kit who showed up once in the sight crying and being comforted by a queen

mm i think some good warrior names for them woulda been like

buzzardface, Buzzardshriek or buzzardwhistle

[golbrocklovely]

I know many of us like Colby at least on here, but lets not put him on a pedestal. Im not trying to attack the anon who said he doesnt try too hard to be emo but my personal opinion is that Colby wasnt always that way either. If you go back and look at photos or videos of him in Kansas and even the first one or two years in L.A, he wore fitted clothing none of this black with chains stuff. His hair was brown and flipped to the side like early Justin Bieber. He didnt paint his nails, dodnt have tattoos, and even the wasy he spoke was different. Somewhere along the way came the black clothe, dark tweets, chains and rings, hair dye, tats,and using slang like "Dawg" or even the way he says "You know what I'm sayin'". Everyone changes, it rare to see someone who doesnt in terms of style and taste. Ones environment and surroundings has a lot to do with that. As a Californian i can tell you that being kooky and weird here is very expected and not judged like it is in other states or towns. A guy walks into a store with neon green and purple hair wearing platform shoes and no one makes a big deal out of it or does a double take.

The only people who do get that response no-a-days are those who wear the American flag and a red hat because...well we all know why.

i can see what you mean. i think, like i said in the other ask i just posted, that maybe colby seems to be more "authentic" bc his style change came gradually, while jake's was a bit more abrupt.

but i would like to add that colby has always liked the darker stuff/emo style. he's talked about going to warped tour and liking all the famous emo bands from way back in the day. he's even tweeted a couple times back in like 2014-15 about maybe getting snake bites (which nothing screams emo to me more lmao), about getting tattoos, reposting punk edits of himself and thinking they looked cool, and how his mom hated that he wore a lot of black. i think to some extent he didn't go into his full style that he has now bc first off, he was young and maybe just didn't know how to conceptualize it. also, idk what it's like to grow up in kansas, but i don't think it screams 'accepting of alternative styles'. and moving out to la, he probably saw a lot of the alt styles and thought 'hey, i like that' and decided to change into it. and that's not being fake or pretending, so much that it is more like him slowly finding himself by being around ppl he wanted to look like, not to mention being more comfortable with himself.

personally i think he's always had a bit of more melancholic vibe to him, and i think that came out more when he got his heart broken. by 2017 is when he was going more into the dark/emo tweets, and that's around the time he was starting to get over his heart break. and he's also kinda eluded to the fact that between the trap house and the apartment, he grew up a lot and part of that comes with getting introspective and writing bad poetry/tweets (trust me i would know haha).

i agree with you, in case i didn't make that clear lol but i do think colby's vibe could be seen as more real bc his came slowly.

[hanniehaeism]

Ask game, ENHYPEN?

-🦊

do i already stan them? yes | only for the music | attempting to | no

Bias and bias wreckers

My first bias was riki then Sunoo came along stole my heart making me a double bias. THEN freaking park jongseong came along and made me triple bias. So I’m a sunkijay stan. Bias wreckers the other wonderful four

When I first heard of them

I was a promo of I-land. Saw a bunch of videos of jake. But that was pretty much it. Didn’t hear about them again till after I-land finished

When did i become a fan

… hey tayo yeah I’m not joking

favorite (and least favorite) title track

Favourite probably tamed-dashed idk it just such a nice fun song and more my type of music I think

Least favourite well they don’t have many but given-taken. ITS A REALLY FOOD SONG don’t get me wrong there’s just only three to choose from

favorite (and least favorite) b-side

Favourite I like 10 months and blockbuster a lot

Least i think maybe not for sale. Like I won’t ever skip it if it comes on. Again not a bad song just out of all of them my least ig

favorite (and least favorite) mv

Favourite hey tayo and billy poco…*looks away

Least I think maybe given-taken. This post is going to make me look like a given-taken anti

favorite (and least favorite) album

Bruh idkkkkkk this is hard like in songs in general maybe dilemma dimensions I forgot the name sorry

And least… I think you know border: one day. THEY ARNET BAD I LOVE THEM BUT YOUR MAKING ME CHOOSE ITS HARD YO

a concept i wished they’d try*

Honestly seen a lot of dark concept which are good not necessarily my fav concept in general but I really like enhypen doing it. But I really like a concept similar to tamed dashed it’s a fresh air to everyone doing dark cool badass ones. But I wouldn’t be complaining if they go emo like txt.

What I like most about them

I didn’t watch them during I-land but after getting into them I did. And idk it’s just the amount of hard work and struggle they go through makes me feel like a parent watching their children. Don’t mind the fact Niki and I are the same age. Also them being around my age going through stuff like that. In a way encourages me. Lol that’s so cheesy anyways I could go on about them but I won’t

Send a kpop group and I’ll reply with

[flanneljammies]

Lots of Listens in 2020

As I winnow things down to my Top 20 and, ultimately, AOTY, I’ve come up with quite a few great records that didn’t quite make it into the top echelon...

All Fell Silent - An Autumn For Crippled Children These Dutch practitioners of black-gaze have moved even further into the the “gaze’ side of things by pushing their drums (machine) even further into the background -- sometimes threatening to become ambient music.

10 Years Gone - Deafheaven Speaking of “black-gaze,” this live shit rules. All the hits form all their records with enough rawness and grit to drive the whole thing home.

An Offering - Deterior Apparently this is one dude from Columbus OH. Its fantastic blackened post-metal with plenty of crusty sludge to gum up the proceedings.

Lincoln Hall 2020 - Facs Another live album. This time from Chicago’s ultimate purveyors of fugue-state. A well curated collection of songs from their three records performed with their characteristic aggression/ennui.

Sawtooth EKG - Flust Ex-Twelves singer, Michael Groome, churns out a sultry album of Depeche Mode-inspired make-out tunes. It’s the 80s all over again and I feel fine.

Revisionist - June of 44  The actual title is Revisionist: Adaptations & Future Histories In The Time Of Love And Survival -- ha! It’s remixes and rerecordings of some of the venerable post-rock outfit’s later material. While it doesn’t really hang together as an album, its nice to hear these versions and experimentations. Reminds me of their In The Fishtank record, now that I come to think of it...

Boss Chill - Killer Tame Brendan McGinn is probably best known as the frontman of Lincoln NE’s emo wunderkinds, Her Flyaway Manner. Here, under his beat-maker moniker, he creates inventive and addicting trip-hop than clearly owes a debt to Ninja Tune or Mo Wax.

s/t - Luxor Beam These London lads seem intent on trying to recreate Revolution Summer emotional hardcore. They sorta miss the mark, but by adding noise-rock and post-hardcore elements, they come up with something at least as interesting.

Itch - Mammock Weirdo, mutant noise-rock from Greece. They, mercifully, often stray from the Jesus Lizard-template and veer into math-jazz territory of folks like Oxbow.

Zero Zero Zero - Mogwai Mogwai continue their triumph over movie soundtracks. Here for a show about drug trafficking. It’s got all the somber-yet-catchy piano riffs that we’ve come to expect, but also a fair bit of synthy swells and kraut-rock rhythms. I watched the first episode on Amazon Prime and fell asleep...

Ghosts V-VI - Nine Inch Nails Trent continues his Ghosts series which, I guess, is just song sketch pads that he may or may not go back to later. V reminds me a whole lot of side two of Bowie’s Low and VI sounds like the soundtrack to demented horror movie.

Demo - Rijeka Some cool textural screamo (by way of hardcore) that, while not earth shattering, is extremely satisfying and visceral. Not sure why a band from France names themselves after a city in Croatia... 

s/t - Seaxes There can be no doubt that this band hails from Chicago. The ghost of local noise-rock giants hover over this EP like a spectre. Cool shit though, with nods to both The Jesus Lizard and US Maple without ever really aping either of them.

Three Gates Dub - Tara Bulba British dude doing trippy dub shit in the style of Bill Laswell. More of this please.

The Twilight Device - Theta Beach Ambient swells and drones -- the soundtrack to a non-existent movie. Turns out it’s the perfect soundtrack to white knuckling it on country roads in a blinding snow storm.

Now Wait For Last Year - Things Falling Apart Yet another live record (this time on the radio). The long-running post-rock band leans into the “post” with two songs running 19 and 13 minutes. FULL DISCLOSURE (lol): included in the download is a remix I did for Adama under my Bell & Circuit moniker.

Another Life - Twin Siblings Ex-New Cowboy Builders and current Sugar Horse guitarist, Jake Healy, continues to spellbind with his solo project. Less dark than previous outings, here he delves into dubby kraut-rock, Eno-esque swirls, and Cabaret Voltaire-style electro.

[dr0wnedatsea]

Im rewatching movies I used to love and stumbling across new ones bc a lot of free time and global pandemic so I want to keep track:

Stuck in love: cried bc I forgot how dark it gets. Lily collins will show up on this list a lot.

The first time: cheesier than I remembered but still a Dylan O’Brien Stan

Drive: The bathroom scene in the hotel made me gag

Jennifer’s Body: how does Megan Fox look good even when she looks bad ?????? Forgot how weird this one was

Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind: one word and it is pain

Place beyond the pines: a lot of unexpected twists- I couldn’t stand the cops sons character. Appreciation for Ryan gosling with tattoos.

Little women: recommended by Ralph. This one was heartwarming but also sad. I enjoy watching stuff in older time periods.

Remember me: I forgot how dark this one is too. If you don’t cry at the end you’re not human.

Her: Ugh, one of my favs. I like the futuristic aspects of it even if some of the scenes are a little weird.

Like crazy: Part of my top 3. This movie hurt my heart then and still does now.

Love, Rosie: Hmmm. Top 5? Lily collins again. The hurt on her face in some of the scenes makes me emo.

Dash&lily: not a movie. I binged the season in one day. Incredibly cheesy. Cried.

The art of getting by: I enjoy movies with Emma Roberts so she’ll pop up a lot too. I forgot i rewatched this one so I wanted to add it.

It’s kind of a funny story: I think this movie is important and should be shown in high school. Emma roberts again. The performance scene makes me laugh.

The fault in our stars: book made me cry. Movie made me sob and I swore to never watch it again but here we are. I’ve quoted a line in this movie to someone. I’ll see Amsterdam one day.

Nick and norahs infinite playlist: top 5. I used to love Michael cera. Would still die if someone made me a personal playlist.

After we collided: I’m all for a sappy romance movie but this was ... very bad lol.

Midsommar: Like hereditary (which I want to rewatch) this movie will live in my head rent free. This type of horror is so much better than your typical jump scare ones IMO.

Chemical hearts: The soundtrack is good. This one was really sad but worth the watch.

Life in a year: sad once again. It was alright. 10/10 for the big Sean pop in.

Bridgerton: Binged the season in a day. Wondering why we don’t get courted like this today??? I really enjoyed it.

Call me by your name: This was a rewatch. Makes you want to spend a summer in Italy with how it’s shot, fall in love and cry all at the same time.

Whiplash: Miles Teller. I wish I could play an instrument.

Normal People: Hit me right in my heart.

Blue Valentine: I cried when he set up the old mans room at the nursing home because it was so kind. 🥺

Hereditary: this movie is so fucked up but I love it

The notebook: My first time watching this. My grandma had Alzheimer’s so I avoided it for many years. My heart.

A teacher: a series. I wish they showed more of the psychology behind what was going on. It’s an uncomfortable watch but very good.

Love and other drugs: appreciation for Jake. It felt like just another romcom really

Comet: weird but good. I can only see Emmy as Fiona though.

Before sunrise: 1 of 3. I really enjoyed how it is basically just one long conversation between two people.

Before sunset: 2 of 3. I liked this one better than the first. Realistic.

[the-mf-bread-babies]

1/8/20

VOLUME FOUR, PART TWO~!

WHO ELSE IS WRITING IT?! ROCCO NORTH, BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CHAPTER ONE

I CHANGED MY MIND HE DOESN'T GET KIDNAPPED lmao

After their work in protecting the house, the family went to bed. Well, except for Aaron, who watched Damon sleep just in case he died or anything.

The next morning, they woke up peacefully, to the sound of–

EXPLOOOSIIOOONNSSS!!!

Well, SHIT !!! Aaron, passed out from tiredness was still sleeping on the floor, though. “Aaron!! Wake the hell up, there's bombs!!” Damon shouted, repeatedly slapping Aaron's face. “Huh…?” Damon gave up and dragged his dad across the bedroom floor. “Hey, hey, I can walk, dude,” Aaron assured, slowly standing up.

A loud boom echoed throughout the house, alerting them even more. Although, it didn't seem like it came from an explosive, but rather, an impact. Their first thoughts were that NULL was using a battering ram on their front door.

The family assembled in the basement, equipped with weapons and protection. “So, what the hell's goin’ on now?” Gabriel asked. “Man, I thought you were gonna explain it or something.” Damon sighed as he looked at the others. “Dennis?” “I literally was friggin’ shaving when I heard the sounds?” he uselessly explained. “I was performing satanic rituals for the plants.” Lan confessed. “Okay, dad, but seriously, where are these guys?” Aaron grumbled, rubbing his forehead.

CRASH!

A hole formed in the stone basement ceiling as it came crashing down, sunlight shining into the area. A small woman whose grey hair covered her whole body to her knees swiftly emerged from the rubble, dusting herself off and hopping back outside.

“Who. Who was that.” Gabriel asked. “Do we have banshees here?” Lan added. “To my knowledge, the only ghosts related to Irish folklore in this house are the deer leg ladies and the lady who keeps using the washing machine to wash medieval armor.” Aaron explained. “Other than that, nada,”

The family halted their conversation as they heard the sound of multiple people screaming for their lives. “Okay, well, what's that?” Gabriel asked. “I– Dad, I don't even know where the rubble lady came from!” Aaron whined, the screaming still in the background.

ace: “die, bitches!”

“Yeah, pretty sure that's not NULL,” Lan pointed out. “Their agents get shot on sight after using foul language.” He revealed. “Really?” Damon asked, thinking about how bad of an agent he would be if he was recruited. “No, I just made that up.” Lan confessed, smirking. “Why…” Gabriel questioned, looking at him with a disappointed face. “Why not?”

nova: “OOH, A STUN GUN, OH NO!”

“HOWEVER WILL WE MAKE IT OUT ALIVE?!”

“HELP~!”

The four paused, noticing a third person in the fight. “Rude.” Damon commented at the girl's behavior.

sarah: “guys i accidentally fricked up the floor”

“do we have to pay insurance or whatever”

“also whats insurance”

ace: “it's a scam designed for you to die.”

Andre: “What Ace said. Also, pretty sure we don't have to do anything, since this place is a ghost town, anyways.”

jake: “mhm also theres probably horses or w/ever so watch out for that lol”

orc: “I SAW A PILE OF FROGS EARLIER”

j: “or that sometimes yknow”

The family peeked their heads out from inside, eavesdropping on the conversation.

o: “YEA BUT THE THING IS”

“I DONT KNOW HOW TO HOLD FROGS”

sar: “you have to like. gently carry those gentlemen around. palm at the side, fingers supporting their body and your thumb keeps them in place, orc, my friend,”

a: “ALSO SPRAY THE BITCHES!”

s: “yea spray them they like it it's fun n stuff”

andre: “Where. Where's the little froggies.”

j: “idk im scared”

a: “coward”

o: “ALSO SCARED OF FROGS”

“THEY ARE METAPHORICALLY CHILDREN”

s: “explain”

o: “SMALL AND CAN DIE EASILY ALSO WEIRDLY SLIMY AND SOFT”

andre: “Babies aren't slimy tho…”

o: “FLORIDA”

an: “oh ok”

“NULL doesn't usually talk about frogs.” Dennis pointed out. “They don't.” Damon agreed. “Also, they don't have members that tall. Or short.” Aaron commented. “Rebel gang?” Lan suggested. Gabriel squinted his eyes, staring at the group. “Last time I checked, undercover NULL agents, even if they exist, don't hide that kind of hair under their helmets. That kid next to the banshee there definitely does not have helmet hair, I mean, the volume and all…”

“hmm? i think those are peeeoopleeee” “guyss” The stylish hair kid pointed out. “cuz i dont think horses look like that!!!!!!!” they exclaimed, strutting towards the basement. “im scared” “help” “yall” “yall means all” they continued, facing their group. “Well, damn, Ace, if it's a horse, give it a carrot or something.” another voice said nonchalantly.

“meanie” “ill kill u” Ace threatened threateningly. “I CAN GO WITH YOU IF YOU WANT!!” A voice offered politely. “thanks nova!!!!!!! andre u can choke” Ace thanked, proceeding with Nova to the basement, the family anxiously awaiting them.

Ace had a normal, skinny, 5'7"-ish body, and they had a sharp jaw and small eyes. Their hair was brightly colored, with brown roots turning into an orange and then into a red, with yellow tips. They were wearing a gray vest above a loose black sleeveless shirt. Also jeans and shoes. Ace is not naked or something.

Nova, on the other hand, towered over Ace. She wore a trucker hat that pushed down her thick hair enough to cover her eyes, and it was tied into two big puffs. Her hair was dyed different shades of green in small spots, making it look like a small, bright shrub sitting on her head. She wore a denim jacket with lots of enamel pins stuck to it. Beneath that was a grey t-shirt, and below that were ripped jeans and UGG boots… somehow, in the amalgamated world.

“Hi! We're the Russell family!” Aaron welcomed, nearly giving them heart attacks by LOON∆ i should listem to that again. “What the fuck?!” Andre remarked, leading the rest into the basement. He was wearing a silky-looking black button-up shirt with a red tie with dress shoes, and his dreadlocks were neatly tied back. He certainly wore a fancy look for raiding NULL bases.

“Yeah, I'm Aaron, this is my dad Gabriel, my dad Lan, my husband Dennis, and my son, (no matter what,) Damon. We have 36 cats and countless ghosts here. Please proceed with caution, most of these babies are strictly indoors-only!”

The group stared at them in shock, unable to believe anything Aaron just said. “How… do you get… 36 cats…” Andre asked. “We used to have a pet shop. It fell down, though, so that's that.” Dennis answered casually. “like. how. like fell down into space” A blue-haired man asked, earning him Damon's full attention.

“Yeah, into space.” Gabriel said. “Just straight down.” Lan elaborated, “No stops or anything, just ZOOP!” “Yeah, that's why we moved into a haunted mansion.” Aaron added. “So, what group are you guys in?” he asked, making a head shoot up in surprise from one of them.

He had gelled blue hair parted in the middle, and his right eye seemed like it had something inserted in it. He wore a dark blue denim jacket with ripped off sleeves and very short, tight jorts. He also had black wristbands, indicating a past emo phase. Or one that's still ongoing, as made obvious by his combat boots.

“oh its kinda indie u guys. u guys probably dont know it :,(” The blue-haired man said sadly, pouting. “We're called the…” Andre began. “C'mon, Jakey, say it.” “no its dumb” he grumbled. “skullsmashers. it's because we smash people's skulls. metaphorically.” Ace explained, asking Jake for confirmation. “right, 8-ball?”

“we really dont......” Jakey/8-Ball said sadly. “Oh, you named us this, Jakey, honey,” Andre contested. “So why can't we smash people's skulls? Like, clearly, I can take the emotional trauma or whatever, as long as it's NULL, or hell, maybe even some dipshit, I can do that.” he added softly.

“Ah, pretty sure they're not NULL,” Lan said, smiling. “So, did you kill them all of them or what?” he asked as he raised his weapon, a mace he was somehow managing to hold with ease. Like. A mace with spikes. Ace nervously played with their hair, sporting a terrified face. “what!?” they exclaimed in a high-pitched voice. “We can definitely take care of them. How do you think this place is officially a ghost town?” Gabriel asked. “Setting up traps and making friends with the local ghosts go a long way, y'know,”

“There's fucking ghosts?!” Andre exclaimed, pulling out daggers from under his arms. “Yeah, but they're nice, so it's okay.” Damon explained with not a trace of fear in his eyes, making Andre slowly put the daggers back in. “Oh, by the way, if you guys see an arm there, could you get it for me?” he requested politely, “And honestly, I'd like to make a pun with lending hands, but I can't seem to put my finger on which one I'd make.” He added, raising his bandaged stump.

“Oh, Jake, don't–” Andre warned before Jake fainted instantly from seeing the bloody bandages on Damon's wound. “I'm sorry,” he apologized. The fainting had sent Aaron quickly went to the operating room, just now realising that he hasn't changed the bandages yet. “uh lemme go check if theres any” the small woman said, scuttling away. “Thanks,” Damon said before following Aaron.

Dennis, Lan, and Gabriel stood awkwardly in front of The Skullsmashers, not knowing what to do. “So, uh, whaddya do?” Dennis asked, folding his hands together. “gamign” Ace quickly responded. “Well, we each tend to go our own ways, but occasionally we team up to raid NULL bases and stuff.” Andre explained, ignoring Ace's statement. “What about you guys?”

“Ah, so I like gardening, and also do some baking from time to time, and Gabriel here used to be a traveling psychic, but now he tends to help me with errands and chores and sometimes we communicate with the ghosts here. Dennis and Aaron used to run a pet shop near here, but now Dennis does some farming, and Aaron spends his spare time caring for our pets.” Lan explained.

“And I do the groceries! And all the other stuff that involves going outside,” Damon intervened, coming back with an anxious, squeaky-clean Aaron. “Which is why my arm got cut off.” he revealed, sitting down on the wooden floor. “ok im back did i miss anything :'//” Jake asked, waking up from his faint earlier. “… we'll catch up later.” Andre replied.

“arm!!!” The banshee yelled out excitedly, waving a cooler back and forth. “Great! Just toss it down,” Aaron said happily, reaching his arms out. Seeing this, Damon ran to the operating room. “Last one's a rotten egg!” he shouted, snickering. “Well, while they work on that, do you guys maybe wanna come in and grab a snack?” Gabriel suggested politely, eager to learn more about the group. “yea sure!! thanks!!” said Jake, who was joyfully running to the front door.

A large figure stood patiently outside the door, belonging with the Skullsmashers. It seemed like a gentle giant, tapping its index fingers together. It was definitely from another world. It had greenish grey skin, and its head was blocky and looked like it was separate from his large jaw that had two moles on it. Its eyes were big and white, and above them were thick eyebrows. And it was wearing what seemed to be a large, furry, ruff reaching his knees that were covered by jorts. Its shoulders were completely covered with a large spiky red boulder on each one. The creature was ten feet tall, and was very strong.

At last, the large doors opened with a creak, the sunlight from outside shining brightly into the house. It was the first time in years that the front doors were opened, and it was for good; they had stayed in there for too long.

CHAPTER TWO

A PROPER INTRODUCTION

The family and the group were sitting in the dining hall, awaiting the arrival of Aaron and Damon. A shit ton of homemade potato chips were strewn across a long plate in the middle as the main course. Lan had prepared a variety of dipping sauces and some napkins. They sat in silence.

“I don't mean to be rude or anything, but how… are you guys still alive?” Andre asked cautiously, starting a conversation. Gabriel dipped a chip in cheese sauce, then thought of a simple answer: “We really just hide and plant stuff. Also, we were really lucky.”

Nova played around with a fork, debating whether these people were real or not. Yes, NULL couldn't possibly use their precious budget to make intricately designed haunted houses with personal touches and residents whose personalities were very unique, as well as their relationship with each other, but, hell, maybe they can.

NULL always had a way to worm themselves everywhere, down to the place she stayed in, the people she knows, and, well, really, everywhere. Even if this family was what they presented themselves as, NULL could do lots of things to not only dishevel Nova and the group she was in, as well as this family, they can manipulate both of them to destroy each other. After all, that's the kind of thing they do– get someone else to do their dirty work.

Nova made up her mind, opting to ask them directly. “I also really don't mean to be rude, but given the large amount of undercover NULL agents and all the different ways they come as, I just have to ask… and this is a very dumb, and useless question, but are you guys in any way… involved with NULL?”

Dennis smiled lightly, understanding that this group was in the same deliberation as they were. “To be honest, we were gonna ask you that too at some point, but I personally don't think NULL agents would look this…” “well, they wouldn't, like… have wrists this limp.”

The room was silent for a while, before erupting with laughter. “You– you fuckin’ thought we weren't NULL because–” Andre struggled, wheezing. “No NULL agent would dress like that, Andre,” Gabriel pointed out, snickering. “Yeah, you think those idiots can achieve this level of interior design?!” Lan added, gesturing wildly towards every piece of furniture in the hall.

“… But really, to answer your question there, yeah, we are technically involved with NULL,” Dennis said, completely changing the atmosphere of the room. “We're classified as Class-4 criminals for, um, giving some of their agents here some mild inconveniences.” he added in a serious tone. “And by mild inconveniences, I mean a few cases of attempted murders, robberies, hauntings, and other stuff like that.” The group sighed a breath of relief, knowing they were both on the same page.

“I have to say, 45 cases of attempted murder and two cases of successful murder does sort of count as a bit more than a mild inconvenience, though, Dennis,” Lan said jokingly. “Oh, and remember when someone planted poison ivy that somehow mysteriously completely wrapped around the whole base they had here, down to the basement?” he added, grinning. “Okay, well let's not compare our crimes here, dad,” Dennis teased. “Everybody knows mine was the best attack yet when I trapped them inside the base by encasing it with raw eggs! somehow” he added, cackling.

The two families had a great time together, laughing and talking about their experiences in the new lives they lived caused by the amalgamation. Meanwhile, Aaron was carefully reattaching an arm to an unconscious Damon. After some hard work, he succeeded, and did his best to celebrate in the operating room.

However, at this point, he became too tired to do so, considering the fact that he alone performed an entire surgery. Still, it was a miracle for both of them. He waited for Damon to wake up and see the finished product, but he ended up passing out while making a celebratory coffee.

The two slept well and endlessly. The rest of the family, however, were faced with a tough decision to make. Dennis, Gabriel, and Lan had the same question echo in their minds:

“Would you like to consider joining us, The Skullsmashers?”

It was a question Andre always asked to those who he saw potential in, no matter who– or whom, no idea. They could be two friends living in a dilapidated house with rats and mice, or three odd creatures in a grocery store, or even some nervous teenager who suddenly asked him to kill someone in the middle of his New Year's Eve party.

It's not that he simply sees something out of the ordinary happen and immediately hands out flyers, but it's that Andre has been gifted with an eye for this type of thing– take, for example, the situation at hand.

Andre raids a NULL base with his friends. The fight continues into the abandoned city the base was in. His friend lands into a basement of a house. Sarah, the friend, points out that there are people living in said house. Said people are clearly weird.

Resident asks for his arm back. Very weird. Still little to no potential, except maybe for interior design. Residents invite them for dinner. Residents have knives and shit.

Potential spotted. nah jk lemme do this again lol

[TAKE TWO]

Okay, okay. Andre doesn't just see people doing weird shit and immediately hires them, contract and all, but instead he observes them further.

If he sees someone hurling flaming batons into the sky, that person does have potential, yes, definitely, but what kind? This style of combat could definitely be a possibility in their attacks, given the practicality and the ostentatiousness of it.

However, it's an art one could hardly practice. The perils one could face are far too much for such a display. But, even though it's inconvenient, it's still very useful. If there was a good amount of accelerant on the baton, an enemy could not only receive a strong blow, but the added accelerant will most likely set them on fire too, rendering them not only useless in further combat (unless they're a very determined individual) but also a potential threat to anyone near them.

And the fact that a person is employed as the weapon is more convenient than, say, a large flaming baton-throwing machine, which would be difficult to program and to bring to an attack.

However, Andre also has to consider the person (itself? themselves? idk man) in an approach. Maybe they're NULL, or maybe even just someone who wants to throw flaming stuff into the air with no deeper meaning or intent. Maybe this person is unsuitable for combat; maybe this person is an enemy or a rival.

The approach is like a job interview– ask them about their experience in the field, if they have any other [good points?? is good points the word], if they're okay with joining the group– but sadly, he lives in a world where anything wildly good or wildly bad can happen, and it makes the whole process a whole lot more harder.

So, maybe these people inviting them over for a meal might give them a new addition or two. Or, sadly, remove some members.

Will the Russell family join The Skullsmashers? The decision has to be made any second now.

• end •

[jeena-aesthetic]

this isn't yourself at all. do all the questions.

wow you’re right, i definitely did not just ask myself to answer all the questions because i’m bored as shit. how’d you know? 

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? I pay for Spotify premium and I’m a broke college student, that’s how much I love Spotify 

is your room messy or clean? ....yes. an organized mess. 

what color are your eyes? a shade of blue, varies from very blue to like a gray-blue 

do you like your name? why? yeah i like it bc it’s kinda common as people know it and it’s on personalized stuff but not common enough where you can’t go a day without seeing someone who has the same name as you 

what is your relationship status? i’ve got a boy but he hasn’t talked to me at all today ??? so ???? that may change (i’m slightly kidding, it’s literally fine but like i need validation so i will just stress in silence) 

describe your personality in 3 words or less funny, worrisome, precise 

what color hair do you have? dirty blonde 

what kind of car do you drive? color? hyundai, black

where do you shop? mostly online, but target has become my main store 

how would you describe your style? you tried to look nice and it kinda worked or it’s a miracle you put pants on today... no inbetween 

favorite social media account either twitter or instagram 

what size bed do you have? my one at home is a full but the ones at college are twin xl 

any siblings? 2 

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? probably somewhere in europe, probably like spain or norway or something. it’s really beautiful there and i mean you still get snow but it’s not fucking freezing so it’s a win win 

favorite snapchat filter? i don’t really use filters i just use bitmojis 

favorite makeup brand(s) i know nothing about makeup lol 

how many times a week do you shower? i mainly shower every other day, if not more than that so it depends

favorite tv show? one tree hill made me emo and i’m currently rewatching glee so 

shoe size? fuck if i knew, you try the shoes on and if they fit you buy them 

how tall are you? fuck if i know, probably like 5′7″ or 5′8″ 

sandals or sneakers? sandals probs 

do you go to the gym? hahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

describe your dream date currently i am in the christmas mood so like if jake came down and we went to the rotary lights i’d cry tears of joy 

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? likeeeeeeeee $40 I think ? doesn’t really matter 

what color socks are you wearing? orange 

how many pillows do you sleep with? one 

do you have a job? what do you do? lol no not yet, i’m gonna get a summer job working at a dog daycare tho 

how many friends do you have? like 2 

whats the worst thing you have ever done? hold on to things i shouldn’t have 

whats your favorite candle scent? I LOVE CANDLES LITERALLY ANYTHING 

3 favorite boy names meh 

3 favorite girl names too much thinking 

favorite actor? i feel like i’m obligated to say channing tatum but that ain’t even true... probably david tennant 

favorite actress? emma watson probs 

who is your celebrity crush? why does no one come to mind anymore....sad 

favorite movie? Mean girls or pitch perfect... or high school musical. actually no LEMONADE MOUTH 

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? the last book i read was for my anthropology class and it was all about pregnancy and babies... i don’t really wanna read books for a while now 

money or brains? theoretically with brains should also come money.....so brains 

do you have a nickname? what is it? they called me jeena in high school... hence the url 

how many times have you been to the hospital? probably the one time when i was born in one 

top 10 favorite songs ain’t nobody got time for that... my spotify username is nikna40 tho 

do you take any medications daily? nope 

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) yes 

what is your biggest fear? drowning 

how many kids do you want? like two probably

whats your go to hair style? um. washing my hair and whatever happens, happens 

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) both are fairly big and almost like farmhousy 

who is your role model? me bitch 

what was the last compliment you received? i take each like on my tweets as a compliment 

what was the last text you sent? okie 

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? i mean i’ve suspected it since i was like 4... da fuck who just comes into our house and knows exactly what we want ??? why won’t i hear our cows mooing at the reindeer ??? 

what is your dream car? my current car but with automatic locks and cruise control 

opinion on smoking? FUCK IT THAT’S THE ONE THING I CAN’T TOLERATE WHO THOUGHT THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA 

do you go to college? lol yah 

what is your dream job? marrying rich and becoming a housewife 

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? rural 

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? no that shit ain’t good 

do you have freckles? yes 

do you smile for pictures? yes

how many pictures do you have on your phone? too many 

have you ever peed in the woods? um no 

do you still watch cartoons? um no 

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? CULVERS CHICKEN TENDERS 

Favorite dipping sauce? ranch 

what do you wear to bed? literally the clothes i wore all day if i didn’t wear jeans 

have you ever won a spelling bee? noep 

what are your hobbies? crying. jk looking at memes, watching netflix, making playlists, photography

can you draw? HA no 

do you play an instrument? i played saxophone in high school, kinda wanna learn ukulele and piano 

what was the last concert you saw? gavin degraw 

tea or coffee? tea

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? um neither

do you want to get married? at some point 

what is your crush’s first and last initial? JN

are you going to change your last name when you get married? if it has a nice ring to it probably 

what color looks best on you? yellow or like turquoise 

do you miss anyone right now? kinda :/ 

do you sleep with your door open or closed? closed 

do you believe in ghosts? yes 

what is your biggest pet peeve? WHEN YOU LIVE WITH BOYS AND THEY CAN’T LEARN TO PUT THE TOILET SEAT DOWN. OR WHEN PEOPLE PUT IN TOILET PAPER THE WRONG WAY 

last person you called` kirstie probs 

favorite ice cream flavor? cookie dough 

regular oreos or golden oreos? da fuck are golden oreos 

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? rainbow 

what shirt are you wearing? a shirt 

what is your phone background? whatever the default was. lot of diamonds. 

are you outgoing or shy? still kinda shy 

do you like it when people play with your hair? YES 

do you like your neighbors? they aight 

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? yes, in the morning 

have you ever been high? lol no  

have you ever been drunk? lol yes 

last thing you ate? christmas cookie 

favorite lyrics right now nothing really comes to mind atm 

summer or winter? summer 

day or night? day

dark, milk, or white chocolate? white chocolate 

favorite month? september

what is your zodiac sign libra

who was the last person you cried in front of? my boi 

[shadowrebel-17]

An Endless Journal - Second Entry

Entry 2

12/15/16

Hey Ellie.

I’m finally in my room… and what an upgrade! But… its why and how I got this upgrade that’s… hard to… put into words.

Guess I should start at the beginning.

First off, while on the plane, I had the strangest dream, there were these three nice looking guys in it. And no, it wasn’t that kind of dream… more… terrifying in the obscure way.

They were warning me of something coming or reaching for me.

The first was a soldier with floppy surfer hair, the second a chiseled black guy, but The last one, he was a dashing-yet creepy older guy who said

“You don’t understand, do you? But you will. In time.” And there was this big volcano and… that’s where I woke up.

But that’s not the weirdest part. The second guy? In my dream? He shows up for real walking down the aisle and Diego had the brilliant idea of shoving me into him THEN putting me on the spot.

I… well his name is Sean Gayle and he’s HOT and charming as hell, and tall, and apparently is the star quarterback for our university’s team (but I didn’t find that out ‘till later) so…. Yeah anyway my mouth moved before I could stop it, as usual. And I just blurted out that I had dreamt about him and all that… yeah not my best moment.

He didn’t seem to mind though. Definitely want to get to know him better.

Oh and apparently Diego filmed all of this, I have no doubt for blackmailing me into helping him on our finals… but I’d do that anyway.

So after that we noticed that the flight was taking longer than expected so I went up to check what was up with our pilot.

On the way met some of the other ten winners talking with our tour guide, Lila. Who might I add is… ok remember “tour guide Barbie” from Toy Story 2? Yeah that’s her. Perky and sunny as a Pina Colada. Great… now I want one.

Ok so anyway I go to ask the pilot and….. he’s totally asleep. Yep. Feet on dash, head on chest. And probably I would have flipped out if… if it wasn’t for the fact that I got distracted by the fact that HE was the beach-boy soldier in my dream earlier. Yep. Well… that and the fact of that southern drawl, blue eyes and that smile…

Oh yeah and apparently he gives nicknames to people that annoy him. So I’m “Princess”

Honesty, I… kinda like it. And because he seriously looks the part of a scruffy ranger I called him Aragorn.

Yeah and I may have a crush on him too… did I mention those eyes? He’s like, part Han Solo, part Aragorn, part Colonel Jack O’Neill from SG-1.

Anyway, right after that things got… scary like, frickin’ terrifying.

This big, black storm front hits, and throws me into a wall. And its bad. Like fire ball lightning and deafening thunder, Armageddon like bad.

I kinda got the sequence of things a little jumbled in my memory, honestly for the first half of it I just clung to a seat in shock, taking it all in ‘till Lila shook me out of it and helped me to a seat.

Somewhere in there the plane got hit and the engines died, people screaming and all that. All but one. There’s this girl with us, with a blue hoodie and she’s got a scar across one eye and has these dark eyes. There’s something off about her not like… bad just… she wasn’t afraid. if anything she looked… determined.

So yeah pretty much beside her it was Jake, he’s the pilot and Sean that kept their wits about them. The girl in the seat next to me, she… she looked worse then me at this point. About to have a panic attack. I cracked a joke like, a bad one, you know. The Cantaloupe one. Yeaaah… hey I did pretty good for short notice!

Anyway, I think it helped. Cause, like she laughed and started breathing again. And let me tell you… that laugh. Her grin. Okay yeah we helped eachother keep our nerves. She held my hand tight as did I in return.

Oh her name is Quinn and you have got to me her. Bright, bubbly, long sweeping red hair… looks like a Disney princess. And just as easy to be with.

Okay fine I like her too. A lot. Do I sound desperate?

Like… three people I’ve just met and I wanna spend more time with them? Maybe it’s the air here. Magical.

Okay I digressed. So somewhere after that Jake breaks us out of that storm and its as brilliant blue as it was before. Like… almost never happened. Except for the engines still being dead as you and I after that party Kaitlyn and her roomies threw last semester.

Honestly? Jake is one hellova damn good pilot. Like Tom Hanks in the movie Sully good.

He, without engines, got us on the ground AND parked in a hanger, coasting through it all. No one answered at the tower though. Which was spooky and it gets weirder later on.

But he got us down in one piece, and Oh My god this island is STUNNING! Green as an emerald gem from the air, caught a glimpse of crystal rivers and waterfalls on the way in and this big ol’ smoking volcano in the middle.

So on the ground got to meet the rest of the group better… had an encounter with one of the other girls while we were unloading our bags.

I.. may have been hitting on Sean. Like can you blame me? He reminds me of Kaitlyn’s friend Chris, with his gentle manners yet strength of character, wait.. heh, I think they are on the same team lol! Anyway he’s just… taller and so… how to… eh. Ok so anyway… back to what happened.

She, Michelle, lit into me for flirting with Sean, like straight outa Bad Girls Club. And well, there’s history with those two but they’re not together.

I… yeah that was rude but, hey, with what we’ve been through, frayed nerves and short words are forgiven. Anyway, we are ok with eachother now.

She and Sean ended up in an argument though. So I backed off from that. That’s when I found the first of several odd things. A honkin’ huge tranquilizer dart. (Yes honkin’ is a word. I’m from the Midwest remember?)

Whatever critter it was used on had to have been big. Or is really out of it.

I hope.

That’s also when I noticed creepy scar girl in the hoodie was watching and listening to us.

You know, Diego and I are also wondering about something. That there are Ten Students that won, yet not counting Jake the pilot and Lila the tour guide, we’ve got Sean Gayle, Michelle, his friend Craig (must be another football player judging from his jacket.) Grace who is one smart, sweet little lady, Quinn, and umm… the ivy league loudmouth, who’s name escapes me. [A scribbled in note of “Aleister” is apparently added later]

Then Zahra, emo-chick, that’s a petty name by the way, Raj, big playful fellow. He’s cool. Then Diego and I. That makes ten… she makes eleven.

What’s her story I wonder.

Anyway now the weirdness really picks up. There is no one here.

I mean NO FREAKING PERSON!

Besides us the whole place is abandoned. Its creepy. Like that ship, the Mary Celeste. Everything is in its place, half finished cups, luggage etc. Just… people.. gone. Very Twilight Zoney.

I’m still waiting for the You Tube prank folks to pop out.

Jake and I check out the control tower, empty like everything else but… there were these lights, in and on the forest and the air, like I imagine the Aurora Borealis to be like. Only saw them for a few moments in the air there. Not back outside. Now Grace had mentioned earlier this place as a very special ecosystem. So perhaps its like those glow-y plankton in the Pacific just, airborne. Anyway, it was magical. Aaaand yes I think I made Jake blush by holding his hand. .

Also found out he’s an ex-navy pilot. Some altercation with an officer.

Aaand made a fool of myself… heh, and I remeber it pretty well so here it is:

Jake: “Look, I’m from Louisiana, and if ferrying rich jerks around a couple times a week is the price I gotta pay for never setting foot back there, hell I’ll pay it. Been sleeping in a beach hammock in Costa Rica ever since.”

Me: “That sounds lonely”

J: “Uh yeah, that’s the appeal” (man that crooked grin of his… Though this time I wonder… if it isn’t forced.

Me: “I mean, I get wanting to get away for a little while but… don’t you want more? You know, someone to come home to… someone to listen to you… someone to hold you all through the night…”

I know! Gosh! I gotta think before I talk! His… response though… Looking back now I’m not sure if he minded my… blunder.

“You offering, Princess?”

Like… totally teasing me… right?

“what?! No- I.. I just meant.. in theory…”

Yep… damn… blew it.

“In theory, I wanted to be the best pilot the Navy had ever seen. In practice… well you cant beat a cold beer and a Caribbean sunset.”

We talked more as well… honestly didn’t take that long to check the tower in comparison.

I also quick checked out the beach with Quinn, Raj, Craig and Michelle too. Man… Quinn is not subtle. And that is not a bad thing… she um, gawd I’m blushing again, so we went swimming and she, considering what she went through on the flight was so, happy. I mean skipping and splashing and flirting.

She’s beautiful Ellie. That’s about all I can say at the moment.

She did have one down moment though. Referencing how she wasn’t always this way and that after last year she decided to make the most out of life. I wanted to ask more but she was too serious so… things got wet ;) (splash splash)

And OMG and there was this flying butterfy-seahorse! It… it was as bright and shimmering as that Aurora I saw with Jake. Only Quinn and I saw it before it flew away though.

Craig had buried the sleeping Raj in the sand.

Anyway, I wanted to unpack before it got much later so I could go exploring more so we all went back to the group and that was when we had found out just how devoid of people this place was. In Sean’s words. “Where the hell was everyone!”

After getting over the shock we dropped our luggage in the lobby and split up into groups to look around.

Seriously, this resort is beautiful. Stunning. A dream come true! … if it wasn’t so… so.. empty.

Jake said he’d go with Brain Trust (Grace, btw love his habit of nicknames, I might stick with it!) And look around the pool area, Zahra and Lila to the ballrooms, I went with Craig, Raj, Sean and Michelle to the restaurant. My stomach made that call.

Also noticed hoodie-girl was missing. Weird.

Anyway at the restaurant named Tortuga. (Cant hear that name without seeing Jack Sparrow lol) like the rest of the place, seems everyone left in a hurry. Even the credit cards were left on the table.

Sean pointed out that the Volcano was supposed to be dormant. That big thing out the window was definitely not dormant. Very steamy. Eagle eye there also spotted some kind of flashing beacon. Maybe a building or something near the mountain.

Anyway we went to compare findings with everyone else.

The pool didn’t have much other then being abandoned.

The ballrooms had been set up in some kind of retro-roaring twenties wedding.

Then… there was that big portrait on the wall. Aleister said it was Everett Rourke, the owner of the hotel. But damn… he was the last guy from my dream on the plane. The older guy with the creepy saying. Apparently he’s some kind of real life Tony Stark genius business man.

I don’t get something though… I get the feeling Grace is attracted to the snob, er Aleister.

She found something else though by the pool. By a damaged fence a foot long tooth! Man hate to see the animal that came from. Maybe that’s why there was that Tranq dart I found earlier.

So basically we are all now completely puzzled and worried and bewildered on what to do next.

And then freaky girl pops up behind me and says that its getting dark and we should all go to bed.

She says she was also looking around like us but wouldn’t share what she found… I think she trust me as much as I trust her… which ain’t much.

But she’s right. Oh and Lila at least knows her. Called her Estella.

So basically, hehe, consensus was (at Zahra’s provocation) to pick any room we wanted.

I snagged myself the honeymoon suit.

Just. Cause.

It has got the most amazing view! And its own hot tub! Candles, roses. The works. Aaand then Diego shows up and I almost mistake him for someone else. He’s not gonna let me live that down will he. Not telling him who I thought it was either cause then he’ll only make it worse! Or… better… heh. Love that guy.

Then he found this romantic note, with two different messages on it:

“I must see you one last time before tomorrow… Meet me at our spot in Neptune Cove. Midnight” and “I’ll be there.”

Oh my goodness I’m so tired… looong day. And it wasn’t over yet lol!

So basically I also got talked into going to a midnight impromptu pool party or “Raj Rage” as the big guy called it.

After all the drinks it’s a little fuzzy.. but I know Jake called Craig Drax, such a perfect fit! He also showed me that apparently he is quite thoughtful.

I… may have missed an opportunity with Sean but I saw Estella sitting alone up on the hill and well, I wanted to know more so excused myself a moment to go talk to her.

We… actually connected. Least… I think we did. I got the feeling that she’s been very hurt in the past and has little trust in people. Explains her attitude. Actually managed to get a smile out of her. Briefly. Before she left. Saying that the people in her life usually get hurt. And she didn’t want that to happen to me.

….. well okay then. That’s… confusing. But at least I’m getting to know more about her. She’s not so scary after all. Just… now I want to find out what hurt her in her past so maybe I can help.

Diego says I have a big heart and a big mouth. And that both get me in trouble. As you well know.

Anyway after Craig soaks everyone with a cannonball I go to get more towels…

Ellie, I don’t think I’ll ever forget what I saw. Something big with muscles and glowing eyes was staring at me from the bushes. With everything that had happened. I’m afraid I lost it. I screamed.

Sean, Quinn and Jake came over first but what ever it was it was gone. I’m not sure everyone believes me. Heck I’m not sure I believe me.

Kinda killed the party too. Which sucks.

Anyway at least this awesome huge bed makes up for it. Kinda.

Hopefully tomorrow we can figure out what’s going on.

G'night Ellie.

-S.

[mikacolt]

Judas Contract Thoughts

It was pretty good!

Spoilers Ahead :))

I’m gonna come right out and talk about the whole nasty stuff with Slade and Terra. Like okay, I get it. This is an edgy movie that is not necesarilly for kids. Great. ((Except for the fact that this is a Teen Titans movie and it is literally about children but sure let’s just go with it)) It did make the movie more interesting, but I do wish that she felt more like a kid I guess... she acted like a grown adult, which is the easier thing to do when you’re putting her in the situation of trying to get a grampa in bed I get it but like if you’re gonna write about this fucked up situation, do it right. She could have been more awkward about coming onto him or something, I dunno. 

Also okay when Slade shoots Dick and he falls in the water, don’t you think a trained killer like Slade would have made sure the job was done. It just felt sloppy and predictable to me :/// and THEN I expected when it was just Dick against the world he might call on some of the friends we saw in the very first scene to come and help him. That would have been a really cool/organic way to bring them in I think... but like, nah, Dick can do it all on his own, which it worked out, I mostly just wanted to see what they did with older Roy :))

Also I feel like they really missed the mark with Jaimes family. I'm not saying they had to be exactly like they are in the comics, but when I think of the Reyeses I think of an incredibly amaZINGLY BEAUTIFULLY supportive family that maybe don’t completely understand what Jaime’s going through but are like 500% there for him through it all. They decided to make his dad kinda cold towards him which just didn’t sit right to me. I get that making the dad mean comes across maybe as more interesting or cool than just a loving/supporting dad but like... with Jaime the conflict shouldn’t be between him and his family. The conflict is between him and the scarab, ((which didn’t feel quite right to me in this movie either. He seemed to be mad at it a lot, instead of scared or anxious or even just frustrated. But like I’m never gonna be happy with Jake T. Austin as Jaime let’s just be real :// at least he grew out his hair I did not like the mohawk.)) 

So Jaime’s emo dad ties into a bigger problem with the movie as a whole... There’s a scene where Beast Boy comes out and says “I think it takes //pain// to make a hero” (or something along those lines). Wow, how depressing :/// Like okay I get it, it takes //pain// to make a hero, but in this movie doesn’t it show that the more important thing is loving and supporting each other the way the titans support Terra? I feel like they focused more on that whole //pain// aspect and less on the *love* aspect. And when we’re talking about the Teen Titans it should be all about the *love* and companionship and that gay stuff <33 And It WAS about that, but like, that whole idea of “Pain makes a hero” just stuck with me the whole time and I’m like GAR TAKE IT BACK? Like really I think they did a good job with Gar I just... I dunno I wanted a little more out of him he probably should have been the focus of the movie. There could have been this really beautiful ark I think with the whole pain vs love thing and they didn’t quite accomplish that....

I guess when it comes down to it this movie was dark, like, darker than Justice League Dark (lol)... and I enjoyed it honestly, but there was some definite untapped potential, but I mean when the movie’s less than 90 minutes what do you expect ://

[thedeliverygod]

so I’m gonna do something I haven’t done in a looong time! I’m gonna go back and take this survey (now called a meme I guess lol) that I did back in 2008 and compare answers for funsies

here we go~ bold answers are current answers. 

Do you think that you are a good singer? sometimes/yeah sometimes lol. sometimes not. Are you sure of your sexuality? sure./ yup, I’m asexual. At the time I took this before I thought I was just heterosexual and weird lol. Do you love your parents? yeah/ mhmm.  Do you think that you are smart? not really, more like average./ uhh. For some things yes, other things no. I seem to have a little bit of knowledge on a wide variety of things. Are you pretending to be someone that you're not? no./ nopeee.  Do you like to read? yeah/ I do but it’s hard to find things to read.

How often do you talk on the phone? like once everyday for a tops of like 5 mins./ uhh not very often at all. probably once every few days at most. Are you a local celebrity? definately not./ lol yeah no. Also I’m glad I finally learned how to spell definitely after so many years of struggling with it.  Is your mom awesome? yeah/ she has her moments that are good but she also has her bad moments Are you a pottymouth? no./ not really but I curse now, unlike when I took this survey in 2008 lol. Do you think that you are a good writer? I am! ^_^/ eh I’m alright. There’s plenty of people who are more talented than me and I wish I could have their talent brush off on me lol but I enjoy writing a lot so I won’t quit. What was the last compliment that you got? I dunno./ hmmm I dunno. I get ‘cute’ a decent amount I suppose.  What does your home phone look like? we don't have one./ idk just a standard home phone lol silver and black. What was the last hoodie that you wore? don't know./ idk but probably my black hoodie from American Eagle that says “NYC” on it.  What grade are you in right now if you are in school? eleventh./ I graduated college in December 2014 so it’s been 2 years since I got my bachelor’s degree (and I still have no full time job yay lol) Do you eat candy daily? haha no./ ummm almost? lmao. I kinda constantly keep chocolate around. Name a song from this artist/band: 

Paramore: decode/ misguided ghosts Cartel: if I were to write the song/ save us My Chemical Romance: ghost of you/ Black parade I guess haha Teddy Geiger: night air/ same song lol Three Days Grace: over and over/ Animals? haha The Rocket Summer: Aerosmith: dream on. Mika: popular with Ariana Grande (wow he was around back then? I had no idea) Cute Is What We Aim For:   Avenged Sevenfold: darkness surrounding/ I don’t even know anything by this band anymore lol  Fall Out Boy: thnks fr th mmrs./ hum hallelujah  Have you ever moved to a different home? yeaaaah/ yeah a decent amount Have you ever switched schools? just graduating from them./ same’s true now. Started at UNCG and graduated from UNCG.  Do you like to go swimming? when it's warm outside./ yeah but I hardly get the opportunity to go anymore. Have you ever been to camp? no, not really./ not an organized summer camp, no. I’ve been traditional camping (in a tent and an RV) though, yes. Do you have a pet, if so, what? yes. 2 dogs, 3 cats, and 2 finches./ aw the finches I miss them. Um I’ve just got Kairi, really, and then my dad has 3 cats. My mom also has 2 cats and a dog that I used to live with so I kinda consider mine still too. Do you have trouble spelling certain words? haha yeah. Disappear is one I spell wrong often./ plenty but I can’t think of any on the spot.  Do you get nervous with public speaking? yes./ hells yeah Do you know the words to your myspace song? yep./ lol myspace is long gone.  What is your favorite TV show? don't watch TV./ Prison Break & Scrubs for traditional TV (live action). Noragami for anime.  Do you know anyone with a really weird name? not really./ nah What are you going to name your kids? Cameron or Landon [I remembered that name today and I love it] annnnd Kayla or October. I don't care if the name October Melody sounds emo/goth, it's beautiful./ I don’t plan on having biological kids and therefore don’t really plan on naming any kids. I do really love Yukine’s name though.  Are you taken? no./ nope, single once again Do you fight with your parents all the time? no./ no, I’ve fought with my mom a few times now that I’m older but it just ends in me getting into panic attacks so I’m good. Is your tongue pierced? no./ nooo. I don’t have any piercings and don’t ever plan to. Are you in pain right now? no./ no but I wish this cold would go away What are you doing tomorrow? homework./ dunno but I should really do laundry.  Where does the last person you kissed go to school? n/a/ he graduated in 2014 as well. Who do you blame for your bad mood today? no one/ myself if I had one but I think today has been relatively neutral.  What was the first thing you did this morning? watched the ending of A Walk to Remember cuz my mom was watching it in the living room. haha./ the same thing I do every morning. Check all my emails, facebook, tumblr & LINE all on my phone XD Do you care of what people think of you? to a certain degree./ hell yeah. I’m surprised I said ‘to a certain degree’ back in high school. I’ve always wanted to please everyone. Who was the last person you took a picture with? *shrug* / oh I had a picture taken of me at work recently, I think it was was Jake.  Last person you went to the movies with? Holt/ a whole group of my friends went to see Finding Dory in IMAX. Today, would you rather go back a week or go forward a week? forward./ definitely forward.  What are you looking forward to right now? christmas break./ Kingdom Hearts HD 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue on Tuesday~ Do you miss someone? no./ I always miss someone these days but oh well.  Where was your default pic taken? here./ in my work parking lot  Your current relationship status? single/ single Does your crush like you back? n/a/ same thing, n/a What is your current mood? eh, neutral./ yeah pretty much the same lol If you could go back in time and change something, would you? no./ I wanna say no because it could change some of the good things that happened to me but at the same I wish I could do a few things differently in terms of school. Have a crazy side? haha not really./ it’s more like I have a weeb side.  Ever had a near death experience? not really./ yeah kinda.. Something you do a lot? sing./ write and live on the internet lol Angry at anyone? nah./ our “president” and his chosen administration How many people have you liked in the past 8 months? I haven't! blahhh./ my ex boyfriend before and shortly after we broke up, that’s it. I mean if I think about it too much today I’m sure I can still get really sad but overall I’m okay. What did you do today? nothing much yet./ not much tbh lol  Where will you be 12 hours from now? dunno./ probably right here on this couch Have you ever been to a tanning bed? nah. /nope not interested. Is it easy for others to make you feel awkward? not really. / what the hell??? was I really more self confident in high school or was I just extremely unaware? Yes. It is extremely easy for others to make me feel awkward lol. Where do you wish you were right now? *shrug*/ in my own apartment. Does anyone hate you for no reason? not that I know of./ not for no reason. but nah I don’t think anyone truly hates me. we’ve just had some disagreements about things like homosexuality.  Have you ever kissed someone who's name starts with the letter B? no./ still on. have only kissed one person. Has anyone ever borrowed something from you and never returned it back? hah yeah. / yeaaaaah but for most things it’s been so long I don’t even care anymore. My creative writing teacher didn’t give me my favorite book back lol but I bought a new copy and I hope he continues to use it in his classes.  Today did you hug a person you have feelings for? n/a / there’s no person I have feelings for but I also I haven’t hugged anyone lol What was the first thing you thought this morning? I dunno. what time is it? / “I feel like I can probably go back to sleep but maybe I should get up.” *looks at clock* “holy... how is it 11:47???” Have you ever told someone of the opposite sex you loved them and meant it? yes/ yeah How is your day so far? alright./ it’s fine. Do you want to go to college? yeah./ been there, done that. Kinda would like to go back but pretty sure I can’t.  What's your favorite season? summer. / still true.  When was the last time you cried and the reasons? I found a letter my Dad wrote me a while ago when he didn't leave here. / because of all of my self-doubt from not having a full time job yet along with negativity stemming from all the terrible things that can happen with Trump now in office including losing my healthcare.   Have you ever talked to someone when they were high? yeah./ yeah I guess so What was your favorite grade? 7th grade. haha. or last year, I guess./ probably 12th grade. But college was the best.  Have you ever, in any way, been betrayed by someone you trusted? yeaaaaaah / yeah. It took me a minute to remember what I was talking about when I answered this the first time but yeah.  Do you know anyone who would just drop everything to come see you? sure yeah./ a lot of my friends probably would but idk if I would want them to 1.Do you like to brag? sometimes but not usually. / I guess if I can do it without coming off like a jerk? lol I like to feel proud of myself.  2.What do you do when you are alone? think. haha. / write, edit videos, play video games, watch movies. idk I do a lot of things alone.  3.Would you go out wearing sweats? I don't like sweatpants much, but I would if I had some I guess./ definitely. 4.What color is your coat? blue. / I have a black one and a green one.  5.Does it bother you when people don't call you back? sometimes. / depends. Most of the time it’s a relief I guess haha 6.Is their ever a legit reason to smoke? no, there's not. / no not really. smoke in any form is bad for your lungs.  7.What was the last movie you watched? the end of A Walk to Remember. / ummmm. War Horse.  8.Where is the last place you went to? Fayeteville, my grandma's house. / my work.  9.What made you laugh last? Taylor and her texts I guess lol. / I had Noragami paused and it was just the baby from the 1st episode of Aragoto just floating in the air this big burst of light underneath him and idk it was hilarious 10.Have you ever done drugs? no. / still no, not interested in the least.  11.What show do you watch the most? none. / noragami.  12.How are you feeling right now? content. / okay, but my eyes and my stomach kinda hurt a little bit.  13.What season is your birthday in? spring. 14.What color eyes does the person you like have? n/a 15.Do you wear polos? no. / I do for work but that’s it lol 16.What color are your socks? no socks. / black 17.Do you like going to the dentist? lol noo. / hells no. I haven’t been in quite a few years now cuz I know they’ll just yell at me about my wisdom teeth which have already grown in.  18. What is the best thing about hugs? *shrug*/ they’re warm and comforting? lol idk 19.Who’s birthday is coming up next? my Dad's. / Mine I guess 20.Do you like kids? yeah / I like kids but I’m super awkward with babies.  21.Do you wear glasses or contacts? neither. 22.Are you listening to music? goin' back to cali--Sevendust. /nope, have Law & Order SVU on the TV.  23.What do you think of sex before marriage? sure. just make your old enough to handle the consequences and I obviously believe that you should be in love. / have at it. Just be prepared with birth control, condoms, etc. I retract the statement about love since even though I don’t really understand the want for casual sex, I realize it’s something a lot of people do want.  24.Do you and your dad have a good relationship? ehhh. mostly./ yeah it’s better now.  25.What color is your toothbrush? blue. / still blue haha 26.Do you believe in god? yeah / I believe in a god but probably not the one this survey is asking about. I don’t believe in a god that has any sort of interaction with humans/impacts their lives. I basically believe god is a culmination of all the energy in the universe.  27.Do you wear chapstick? nope./ yes, I need it especially in winter. 28.What is the last thing you bought? I dunno. oh wait I bought sodas for me and my mom. haha./ cat litter, cupcake hersey’s kisses, and cold medicine.  29.Is there anything/anyone that you hate? sure I hate things like racism and etc. oh and OCD Christians. I hate how Religion causes so many issues as well. /I mean yeah I hate people who are judgmental and hateful towards people and treat them as less than equal for any reason. Also I apologize for my past use of OCD.  30.Are you currently craving anything? nah. /nope I’m good.  31.What color is your clock? don't have one. / silver.  32.What time do you usually go to bed? 10: 30 on weeknights, whenever I feel like it on the weekends. / it used to be 1:30 AM but it’s been more like 2:30 AM lately.  33.What do you eat for breakfast? nothing or blueberry poptarts./ nothing.  34.Dog person or cat person? probably cat person but I like both. / both. 35.Something you can't wait to do? road trip. haha. / go to Animazement this year, go to the KH Orchestra World Tour in June~  36.Last thing you put into your mouth? coke./ mountain dew probably 37.What band did you like as a kid? Backstreet Boys and Nsync, duhhh. 38.Do you have a piggy bank? I have a like 3 gallon water tank thing that we store change in haha. / same thing lol also I have a box full of coins too.  39.What time is it? 4: 04 pm / 7:44 PM 40.Do you forgive and forget? forgive, I don't really forget. / I try to forget if I can but it depends on the issue I suppose.

wow this was way longer than I thought RIP. but that was interesting to say the least. 

[pr]

I was tagged by @twothirtyams

FINALLY got around to it HERE:

Nickname(s): Energizer Bonnie. Bon Bon. Bon. The Bonster. Babe (Jake literally has called me Bonnie less than 20 times akdjakanan).

Gender: Lady gal. Tbh I would be agender because I just don't care but along that same vein I just don't care enough to explain that all the time/insist on pronouns. So. Respect to y'all who do. ✌

Height: 5′6″ (I'm the tallest woman in me or Jake's families but also like. Why am I not 5'11"+ akdjakajaj Kaylor's impact….)

Time: 5:47p CST

Where I'm from: Dallas, Texas. (I would specify the suburb but nobody outside DFW seems to kno lol.) Living in Austin, Texas for 21 more days though...

Hogwarts house: SLYTHERIN. Through and through. When I took the quiz at like 15 and got put in the opposite of Gryffindor I cried. But like. Now, I cannot imagine ever not identifying with everything about Slytherin. The ~dark side~ has never ever been appealing to me - I didn't even have an "emo phase" (I thought MCR was scary even) lol but. Ambition and cunning? Hell. Yes. Also Merlin was a Slytherin so. Dab.

Favorite show: Parks and Recreation has taken the top spot for yeeeears - but now it is tied with Crazy Ex Girlfriend. (I base a lot of my identity on kinned TV characters akdjakaj but ANYway.) 30 Rock close 2nd. Breaking Bad/Better Call Saul are 3rd, shockingly. Bojack Horseman an unfortunate 4th but I kin Bojack in a negative way. Always, ALWAYS stan Avatar: The Last Airbender at #5. I have too many to list tbh lol so just check my TV tag.

Favorite animal: So preface: I only like female animals. Akdjakaja. JUDGE me as you WILL. BUT. Other than hyenas, female animals don't RAPE. SO! ANYWAY! Bunnies at a hard #1!!!! 🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰 Alligators, sharks, dolphins, elephants, horses/ponies, cows, pigs (lotta livestock akdjakajaba), cats, opossums, cheetahs, big cats in general, GIRAFFES (KK……) - I love animals a lot (from a sanitary distance akdjakajaj)

Favorite band/artist: I will not even count the obvious answer because that isn't fair. Other than her: Paramore/Hayley Williams, Ariana Grande, Lorde, Hayley Kiyoko, Halsey, Bastille, Troye Sivan, Harry Styles/One Direction, Rush (hate you Jake…), the cast of Hamilton and Crazy Ex Girlfriend.

…

...you can't judge me.

Song stuck in my head: Well I'm currently listening to Kung Fu Fighting akdjakaj but other than that Love Kernels has been stuck in my head for OVER A WEEK!!!!

Last movie I saw: Uhhh….tbh I really do not watch enough movies??? Honestly, it might have been Endgame?? God I am sad akdjakakja. Watched Crazy Ex Girlfriend 3× since June tho akdjakana

Last thing I Googled: murphy texas fourth of july concert

Other blogs: I've got a SHIT ton of saved URLs, but other than my temp hiatus blog @kaylor and its side blog @marvelousmidgesusie nah. Too much effort.

Do I get asks:Absolutely not. Never have never will akdjakajaj I'm good with it now.

Why this URL: Not to be like. Dramatic. But. After getting a canon URL previously and receiving 0 validation from it, I started this blog under the guise of like. Having just...a fun URL I can change whenever just to enjoy. So, when the lyrics were leaked, I jumped on this bitch because it was fun! And I'll probably change it again once Lover releases.

Number of blankets: Oh my God. Over 10. Too many.

Followers: Little over 125 I think.

Following: Idk. Maybe 200?

Average amount of sleep: I have been working pretty hard to make it at LEAST 8 - but that never fucking happens aidhakan 7-6 usually and it makes me MISERABLE.

Lucky number: 187, and any combination thereof. I know. Weird. But. On birthday turning from 7 to 8, July 18th (7/18), I decided that was the best day of my life, and that was my number. Do I remember anything about that birthday? Absolutely not. But. The number stuck. It shows up in my life a lot. From random (187 on a bus or on a utilities panel driving by), to mildly interesting (my license plate just has 718 or reblogging/liking things that equal combos of the numbers a lot), to really freakin' weird (the number my mom has had for almost 30 years ends with 0718, my Jake's birthday just happens to be August 17th 8/17). So. Idk. I just wike it.

What am I wearing: Tee from a coffee shop, A&M workout shorts, sports bra, crap underwear, and my heart on my sleeve.

Dream job: For my entire life, it was working in film, most recently being an editor. But within the last few months, in a dramatic turn of events, my ideal job would be doing what @tree-paine does: being the publicist of clientele in media, music, film, sports, maybe even politics. Idk.

Dream trips: Jake and I have an elaborate dream of traveling down the Alps from Frankford to Austria to Switzerland to Mulan and ending in Verona. Additionally, I am desperate to take Jake to NYC, LA, Boston, and San Fran. Would love to visit almost every hotspot in the US (Chicago, Atlanta, NOLA, Southwest, Pacific Northwest, Disneyworld, Colorado, Alaska, etc). Also VANCOUVER, lots of East Asia, lots of Europe, Giza, Jerusalem, South Africa - but I have literally never been out of the country and am TERRIFIED of flying let alone over the OCEAN. UM. I just want to be well traveled man lmao.

Favorite food: LOTTA shit I am NOT picky, but tops for sure: cinnamon rolls, cheeseburgers, pizza, mac n cheese, blueberries, pasta in general, sushi, and Jake's aglio e olio/veggie nachos.

Instruments I play: Lol. As if. I spent almost $300 on a keyboard but have been too depressed to try. Maybe someday. Have also been dying to sing for 23 years…

Eye color: Very, VERY light blue. Whenever I am in public, people lose their SHIT on the daily when they see my eyes. But for me like. Blue eyes be creepy. Lmao. I really want green/hazel eyes but like. W/e. So it goes.

Hair color: Naturally this dark, awful shade of ash blonde. But I've been coloring my hair since middle school, and for the past 5 or so years it has been a natural ginger copper. I dye my brows too, people think it's really because I am such a cracker ass white gal akdjakanakan

Aesthetic: Check my "aesthetic" tag lol. Idk. Peach/salmon tones. Farm animals. Florals. Dresses with sneakers. Women. Taylor Swift lyrics over pastel backgrounds akdjakaj. BUNNIES. Shots with a lot of negative space. Mornings and coffee and eggs and pancakes. Waking up next to Jake. Texas hill country. Cowboy boots worn right. Snow. Christmas. Idk. Just like. Look at the "moodboards" tag too akdjakaj.

Languages I speak: English, do you see my lily white ass akdjakajaj. I can speak Spanglish well enough to get through a transaction or vaguely pick up words but that is IT. Would love to know Cherokee, Korean, German, and whatever the hell Australians are saying tho.

Most iconic song: One time, I had a dream that I wrote my senior thesis on why the song "Red" was on the level of modern icon/classic as songs "Don't Stop Believin'", "Livin' On A Prayer", "Smoke On The Water", etc. I was insistent the opening notes were on the same level as "Immigrant Song" aodaajakaja. And I was SO passionate about it I WOKE UP CRYING AKDHALAJAKKAAJ.

Anyway.

OTHER than that, this is 100% subjective and to me personally but: Tim McGraw because those opening notes are just nostalgic as hell; Out of the Woods because when that leaked I was just starting to get back into TS and I put on my headphones and covered myself in a blanket and closed my eyes to be fully into it and oh my God...it was immersive, I will never forget that feeling; IV Sweatpants by Childish Gambino, because it was the MOST PLAYED SONG OF 2018 on our Spotify akdjakajaj; My Shot/Wait For It from Hamilton because they have both inspired and driven me to feel like I can take on the fucking world; and A Diagnosis from Crazy Ex Girlfriend because it changed my life and I have listened to it more times than I can count.

When I created this account: A few months ago. I am changing my person this year, and starting fresh with how I present my online persona was an important part of that process for me. But I have been on Tumblr on various accounts since 2010/11 lmao.

Best memory: Getting moved to the front row at my first TS concert, the 1989 Tour; so, so many things with Jake, years of memories; getting my bun; reconnecting with Sarah; a lot of SXSW 2018; my 20th birthday.

Best pun: The first thing that comes to mind is a post I reblogged earlier about how Lyra from The Golden Compass does not have a moral compass in the metaphorical sense and I said, "I mean. She has a compass. She quite literally very much has a moral compass." I thought I was funny lol.

Random fact: I finally got diagnosed with BPD! And I've lost 20+lbs this year (getting healthy, it's a good thing)! My closet is color organized by item!

I tag:

@kayspiracy @jake-from-state-farm-school @toastedcoconutchips @vagabonds-and-troubadours @grizzlybairparty @thefuckingstory @pictureofsoph1sticatedgrace @his-dark-memerials @taylorswift

[golbrocklovely]

In terms of Jake trying too hard with his aesthetic, the same could be said literally about everyone including Sam and Colby, Kat, AND Tara. Have you seen pics of Sam and Colby in kansas and even when they moved out to L.A? Preppy. Kat kinda gave off like a tomboy look before like shed wear snapbacks and now shes a mix of trying to be edgy, or anime cutesy ( its the facial expressions)but sexy too much which is very on trend with ALL of these insta/tiktok girls right now. Tara in high school was the epitome of every girl in the early 2000s who was into Paris Hilton & the simple life i mean her room & car are pink. Even Xepher looked preppy in high school. I personally think peoples styles change and its not that they're trying too hard (Maybe they are unknowingly comforming to a popular style when really they are trying to stand out and be different) if you think of these styles like Punk or Emo or scene they were all about being extreme and dressing out of the ordinary anyway so its contradictory to tell someone who is now dressing like that that they are trying too hard to represent that style because of how "out of the ordinary" they are dressing when thats the point...hope i make sense.

People change, maybe it is a phase he'll grow out of, maybe its a form of self expression that will change once he gets his point across, or maybe without realizing he is acting just like every other person on the internet who claims to be different and an outcast🤷🏻. Also i haaaaate his hair.

i agree, everyone looked different a couple years back, especially since a lot of them were teenagers. i know for 1000% i looked different in high school. mostly bc i didn't like my body so i kinda just wore clothes that would cover me up, but also bc i didn't know how to express myself with clothing yet. sophomore and junior year is when i started to get a style i liked, and then senior year i wore exclusively sweatpants bc senioritis lol

i don't think there is anything wrong with changing your style, as long as you aren't changing it to meet someone else's standards bc fun fact, you never will.

and i get what you're saying, it's similar to the joke of 'all the gothic kids that look exactly the same never want to conform' (we stan bo burnham in this household). just bc now being "dark" is in, that doesn't mean that ppl who are now dressing like it are somehow fake or are only following it for a trend.

not to mention, everyone follows trends. there's nothing wrong with liking things bc they are popular. that's kinda the whole point why something is popular: bc it's well liked.

i think the previous anon was more trying to say that maybe jake isn't being authentic bc his change came very abruptly. for example, colby's change into what he dresses/acts like now was a slow and gradual one, while jake's has kinda only came within the last year or two. he changed his style a bit when he first moved out to la, but it's only been within this last year that he has gone into the full one that he has now. is it possible he has amped up this bc of his music? sure. but i don't think there is anything wrong with that tbh. i don't think he's lying and pretending to be something he is not. honestly, he could feel so much more comfortable with himself that he now feels like he can express himself to the fullest extent, and i think that comes with being a little outlandish.

if you don't agree, that's totally fine too ! personally, i think he could also be expressing himself like this to get rid of any "fake fans" that were only around for him from back in the trap house and vine days. he's no longer that person, but that's not a bad thing to me. everyone changes, and that's okay :)

(also i don't really care for his hair, but it's also whatever to me lol i don't quite understand having it super short underneath but long all around. it's like an ass-backwards mullet... but who am i to judge? i've had the same hair style since birth)