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allyium-inserts · 2 years

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If Only...

Itachi x Tsunade’s Daughter! Reader

Okay guys. Hear me out! Just imagine Tsunade has a daughter while she's gone from the village. She and Shizune taught her medical ninjutsu while the reader grew up. This allowed her to master Tsunade’s teaching by the time she was like 15. The reader and Tsunade separate and the reader travels around helping shinobi and civilians alike. That’s how she meets Itachi and Kisame.

This is gonna have slightly suggested themes, but do not plan on going into detail. There will be canon violence and swearing.

Update: if this reaches 30 notes, I will do a part two!!

Update 2: As promised I will try to get part two up by the end of the week, but summer classes me kicking my ass rn

Part two is here

About 2.5k words

Tsunade still loves Dan and he will always be her only love. But one night she gets a little too drunk and the guy she hooks up with looks a little too much like Dan. Literally Tsunade and shizune leave that village the next day

Tsunade finds out that she’s pregnant on the road. It was quite a shock to both her and Shizune, but she decides to carry out her pregnancy because everything happens for a reason

As soon as you are born, she realizes that had 3rd love. The first being her little brother, Nawaki, and Dan. Shizune and Tsunade raise you together while you move from village to village.

Tsunade was very reluctant in teaching you ninjutsu and the shinobi way entirely because she couldn’t lose her daughter. She decided that teaching you would be good for self-defense and thus she began to teach you the basic of chakra

“Come on, Ma! Pweaaseeee. I wanna be a ninja!!!!”

Now 5 years later at age 13, you are helping Shizune in surgeries and doing minor surgeries and medical treatments with supervision by yourself. Since then you have decided that you wanted to travel and help people.

The three of you stopped at this tiny village and stayed for about 2 years (which has been the longest place you have stayed), before the village became susceptible to a plague that was going on in this part of the land. Tsunade wanted to leave, but you told her that you would stay to help the village. She tried to argue with you saying no and say that you were too young, but the determined look in your eyes that reminded her a little too much of her younger brother made her say yes. After a teary good-bye to Shizune and Tsunade, they left while you stayed and treated the villagers.

At about this time the Uchiha Massacre had already happened and Itachi had joined the Akatsuki. Kisame and Itachi were in the area for a mission. At this point Itachi’s eyesight had started to get worse, but it was very minor and nothing serious.

There was rumor they heard about this “priestess” who could heal anyone. And so they go to the village to find this so-called priestess to find a feisty 15-year old girl lecturing this 40 year-old man on the importance of taking the medicine she made.

Kisame laughs at this because this girl was no older than Itachi at the time and could no way be that good. Originally, Itachi just wanted to check on the rumor because he had heard Pain thinking about recruiting a medic for the Organization. But deciding to see if she could help him

She looked up at him and gave him the sweetest smile and gestured to him to follow her to her small cottage outside of the village. Once they arrive, you tell him to sit down and tell her what he needs to be healed. Kisame ofc makes himself a home on her couch while looking over the house. Itachi mentions the slight blindness in his eyes.

The green glow of your right hover over his eyes to help decide what is actually wrong. You tell him how you can only cure this blindness temporarily and begin to heal his eyes. Once the eyes are healed you tell him how he should come visit when it starts to get worse again but be warned that the more you heal him the less effective it becomes.

He goes to hand you money and you stop him. Ofc he likes “what” you literally brought strangers into your home and willingly healed them without asking for anything. You shrugged your shoulders and said that you will always help some no questions asked and free of charge. So they leave but Itachi still feels somewhat bad about it and secretly leaves you about a hundred ryo in your mailbox. When you find it you sigh, shaking your head lightly with a soft smile.

That’s how you meet itachi. This next time you see him is about 8 months after the first visit. This time he’s alone and you usher him into your cottage and into your designated medical exam room. You begin to heal his eyes and have small talk such as “how is your day” and things like that.

About a week after his visit, you decide to leave the village and travel around the land to help war-stricken villages.

So when he visits you again another 5 months later and you are not there he was so confused. He was concerned because he thought someone kidnapped you or killed you and all these other options. But he began to ask villagers where they were.

“Oh (Y/N), they left the village after the plague. I’m not sure where she went though.”

He continued to dig around until he was able to find you again heading toward the Land of Rain to help the war-stricken citizens. He had a new direction to head in.

You totally ran into Jiraya a couple times during your travels and when you recognized him as one of the Legendary Sannins. You instantly asked if he knew your mother. He was shocked when he found out that his long-time crush had a daughter, but he would you stories about her and you would stare at him in awe

For some reason every village you stopped in, Itachi always found you and soon those small talks turned into things being said in confidence and becoming much closer than acquaintances. You soon made him special eyedrops to use to help reduce the symptoms in his eyes.

You have been treating him for almost two years before he tells you the truth about the Uchiha Massacre. He normally wouldn't tell you at all, but you had this reassuring aura that allowed him to open up. After the story, you brought him to your chest and cried for him because it must have been so difficult for him.

The both of you share this mutual bond of being each other’s confidence, but the next you see him is another couple months and it's kisame. He was carrying Itachi on his back, who had been injured pretty severely. It is very uncommon for a ninja to even get that chance to touch Itachi, let alone injure him to this extent.

You instantly usher him in and have kisame set him down on the operating table. You get to work, but your nerves are getting the better of you and the thought of him dying was in the foremost part of your mind

You save him ofc but when he wakes up you hug him and kiss him. That kiss portrayed every feeling you had for him. The fear of him dying, the relief that he was alive, the exhaustion of the 4 hours of healing you did. Itachi is shook, he doesn’t even think you deserve him. WHen you pull back you blush and apologize and go to walk away until he grabs your wrist and pulls you in for another kiss

Kisame is just there and kinda walks out of the room to give you both privacy but will totally tease Itachi when he has the chance. But either since than you and Itachi had this mutual understanding of each feeling’s

You then make a name for yourself in the Land of Rain, that catches the eye of Pain, who now wants to recruit you to the Akatsuki as their personal medic. At the Akatsuki meeting when your name is brought up about having you recruited. Itachi can help but be shocked and ofc Kisame opens his mouth

“Isn’t that the name of your little girlfriend, Itachi?”

Ofc itachi glares at his partner because the organization wasnt supposed to know about you. Pain wanted him to recruit you, but uncharacteristically he tells Pain that he wasn’t going to. AND that shocked everyone. Pain says that he will go and that both Itachi and Kisame will join him.

You had just finished healing this band of merchants who had been attacked when you heard an unknown person at your temporary home. You open the door to see Pain staring down at you, but you recognize the robe and welcome him in. You saw both Kisame and Itachi behind him and ofc that causes a big smile on your face because you haven’t seen Itachi for a while.

You tell them to sit on the couch, while you finish your work. You were about to offer tea, when you heard a scream coming from your medical room. You offer an apologetic smile and tell Itachi to grab the tea. He nods and moves to your kitchen and to rush off to continue treating the merchants.

After that, Pain tells you that he wants you to join the Akatsuki and help pave the way to everlasting peace and all that. You simply tell him no and he is not surprised, but shocked at how quickly you shot him down. He didn't even finish his speech.

“Yea… No thanks Mister. I don;t really like what you guys do because often the people who know on my door are victims of your doing”

But you do say that if any member showed up at your door you would take them in. You also made your own rules such as that you want them to find you a more permanent place in the Land of Rain and would like some sort of compensation because it is very difficult to find medicinal herbs in the Land of rain. Pain agrees and a month later you move into your new place that has more than one medical room and is big enough to fit at least 5 people in.

Timeskip about one more year and you have traveled back into the Land Of Fire and heard a rumor that your mother had become Hokage. You ofc have to see this for yourself. You arrive after the Sasuke retrieval Mission so this village was still slightly destroyed from Konoha Crush

When you arrive at the village, you stare at it in awe because your mother told stories about Konoha, but you never saw it in person. It wasn’t until you were suddenly surrounded by Anbu Black Ops telling you to state their purpose. You tell them you are here to visit the Hokage

At first they were wary because the village had just been destroyed and you took note of this by saying that you are here to help with the injured and wanted permission. With that they lead you to the Hokage’s office and knock on the door.

The door opens and to reveal your mother, Shizune, a blond kid, a pink-haired girl, a kid you literally looked like he was falling asleep standing up, and a tall silver haired man. Anbu apologizes to her and tells her about you.

“It’s been too long Mother”

She instantly gets up and engulfs you in this big hug bringing your head to her chest. You hug her back with the same intensity. You stay like that for quite a while until the blind kid speaks up

“Who the hell are you? And why was Granny Tsunade hugging you?”

You pull away and look at him and notice the necklace hanging around his neck. You looked up to your mom and smiled down at you. She apologizes to the people in the room

You chuckled at that and stated that I was her daughter. They were all in shock at that. You tell her how you heard a rumor that she had become Hokage and needed to check it out. And that now it was true that you could leave. SHe begs you to stay for a bit and you do. That’s when Jiraya walks into the room and you greet him. Jiraya actually knew about you and Itachi cuz after all

After all that, he asks Tsunade to talk to her in private with me about something. You had a feeling that it was about because after all, a couple months prior, your “boyfriend” tried to kidnapped Naruto

Once in private, Jiraya rips the bandaid and goes how long have you been working with the Akatsuki?'' Your mother is shocked at this and you sighed and state that you don't “work” with them. That you are a traveling medic, so it wasn't uncommon to come across the Akatsuki. You also give him a look that says people don't say anymore about it.

Jiraya then turns to Tsunade and says that you can't stay in the village because of that connection and if people find out about your connection to the organization then her days of being Hokage are over. She sighs because what he said wasn't wrong but it hurts to just leave her daughter again. She goes “we just have to make sure they don't find out.” You instinctively hold the Akatsuki ring in your hand that Itachi gave you so he always knew where you were when you needed him. You brought up the fact that you could live outside the village

Withthat, you now have your own cottage near the Nara Forest that you live with so Itachi can still visit you. And on his next visit, he stays longer than a night and gives you his mother’s engagement ring. He said he wanted you to keep it, because he knew his death was itching closer and closer. And even though this happiness is fleeting, he decides to do whatever he can to keep it.

The night he gives you the engagement ring, you slip it on your finger and give him a deep kiss, one that continues into your own sheets. That night is filled with soft whispers of “i love you” to “i missed you” and kisses. The next morning you can help but look at the man next to you and kiss his cheek. You two talk about your future and how it would be.

“If this was a different world, a different timeline, I would make you an Uchiha”

#itachi x you #itachi x reader #x reader #naruto #itachi x y/n #naruto reader insert #naruto headcanons #Itachi Uchiha #Itachi Uchiha x reader #itachi uchiha x y/n #Jiraya #Tsunade #Akatsuki #Akatsuki x reader #naruto imagines #naruto x reader #naruto characters x reader #uchiha clan

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ash-is-dying · 10 months

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Mr Perfectly Fine: Chap 4

A/N: Smashed this one out. A bit shorter but just as good I swear. Heavily focused on Eddie's pov this time around. I promise he's getting better with a bit of help from his life coach A.K.A Wayne Munson. Enjoy!

Eddie x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 1.9k

Chapter 4: Mr. I’ve Been Waiting For You All My Life

---

He fucked up.

He would never admit it in a million years, but he knew he had fucked up.

You hadn’t been around in a week. Even on his days off Eddie would come back and hear the others complaining that you hadn’t been in at your usual time. It was doing his head in and his pride wouldn’t let him tell them that it was most likely his fault.

Okay, maybe definitely his fault.

But it was a good thing. No dumb orders with a bunch of substitutions and additives, no analyzing eyes watching over him, no yelling or arguing or anger at all. So it was a good thing. Right?

But if it was so good why didn’t things feel right? He felt himself wondering why he was so off, he’d only known you for a few weeks and every interaction crawled under his skin and made it boil. He was happy to be rid of you. You were too familiar. Made him too nostalgic. Things should have gone back to normal by now. Key word being should.

If his own inner turmoil wasn’t enough, Wayne had also been up his ass every time they spoke. After college, at work, at home. The old man was a ninja. Okay so not Eddie’s best analogy but his point still stood. As soon as he had gotten you off his mind his uncle appeared shoving you right back to the forefront.

“Have you talked to her?”

“Did you say sorry?”

“You have to do something for her.”

“Get off my couch and go fix things Edward.”

God it was a living nightmare there was no escape from. When it wasn’t his own voice it was Wayne’s and vice versa, there was no reprieve.

The voices got louder when he lay sleepless at night. Her face and the tears in her eyes were stuck on loop as he reheard her shaky voice as she last spoke to him. The good part he has left in him regrets it all. Then again the good part of him wants to cry himself to sleep, go buy her a bouquet of flowers and beg for forgiveness. Like hell was that happening. But his mind kept returning to those lingering questions even he couldn’t answer. Why had he pushed her away? She had done nothing wrong and he had yelled at her because of what, her keen observation skills? Her relationship with his uncle?

Because he knew this feeling all too well.

By the time he reached that level he’d given up on sleep opting for a smoke and some coffee. Ain’t no way is he going down that road.

He made his way back inside dumping the cold coffee in the sink as Wayne walked out of his room stretching.

“You’re up early Ed. That’s the third time this week.”

Eddie responds with a grunt of acknowledgement, his eyes darting back to the sink.

“Something on your mind?” Wayne pauses putting his elbows on the bench. “Someone on your mind?”

That was a loaded question. It was very obvious what was on his mind. What Wayne was really trying to ask was what was he going to do about it? And the answer to that was the same as it was the last few days. Nothing.

Wayne sighs and they move around each other as breakfast is made. They both sit on the couch shoveling eggs into their mouths before they had to leave and open the shop.

“You wanna know the four steps to winning back a girl?”

Eddie chokes on his food as he registers these words. He swallows hard and clears his throat. “Okay well first of all I have no need for such tips and second of all I’m in no mood to hear uncle guru’s life hacks this early in the morning when I’m running on caffeine and burnt toast.”

Wayne chuckles. “First off the toast and caffeine is your fault, second, I’m telling you anyway because I think you need to hear it.”

He puts his plate down and leans forward making direct eye contact with his nephew. “Step 1. Break the ice. Step 2. Contact. Step 3. Talk. Step 4. Apologize. 5. Peace Offering. If a girl is mad at you she’ll put up a wall you just gotta charge through that wall. You do something surprising so it stops her from completely icing you out, then you make sure she’s okay with you getting closer again, you start to talk and get her to open up and finally you open up, she feels trusted and she trusts you then to seal the deal you give her something meaningful so she’s always thinking of you. Never fails. Munson guarantee.”

Eddie smiles shaking his head. “Munson guarantee?”

“Munson Guarantee. Works one hundred percent of the time and if it doesn’t then you get a full refund.”

Eddie stands collecting their plates. “I didn’t invest no money in this.”

Wayne stands and scruffles Eddie’s bed hair. “That would be the point my boy.”

Eddie finishes his morning routine in a relatively good mood, every few minutes having a laugh at Wayne’s girl advice.

Five steps to win you back.

Yeah right.

---

He’d been a selfish idiot and sat in his regular spot, placed next to yours. Only for you to walk in, see him, turn tail and sit in the front corner. He couldn’t stop the pang of guilt in his chest when you walked away even though he knew it was coming. The first class in the last fortnight where you weren’t nagging in his ear and he missed it. Nag is the wrong word. You don’t miss nagging. Maybe he just missed you talking to him. But you sat a metaphorical ocean away. He didn’t even have your number. There was no way possible for him to even begin to explain what was going on. Not like he wanted to.

So he moped. He sat with his feet on the desk biting his lip and letting his head fall back. Moping over the unexpected impact losing you had on him. No matter how brief and shallow your interactions were. Suddenly a pop up in the corner of his screen drew his attention. A black textbox with your name at the top.

An email.

A lifeline.

It was just about the project, the first few pieces of sheet music with notes and rewrites. It simply read ‘make sure you have your overlay done by next Monday for when I booked the studio.’ But to him it said so much more. He had a week. Maybe he could fix things.

Wayne’s list got into his head.

Step 1. Break the ice.

Eddie’s first thought of course is, make you laugh. He scrolled through his options for a good minute or so before finding something he had a gut feeling would at least make you smile. He found a gif of a cat typing on a computer with the caption ‘I’m on it!’. He smiled and sent it through, his eyes immediately drifting to you. It took you a few minutes but he watched as your mouth twitched upwards ever so slightly. A huff of amusement passing through your lips before you started typing again. A notification popped up on his screen, a reply.

‘Not funny.’

Progress is progress.

Step 2. Contact.

He didn’t really know how to make contact considering you had been keeping about a miles radius between you two. Luckily his chance came tumbling down some stairs. Quite literally. On your way out of class one of your books had fallen apart, pages falling to the floor. You were on your knees whilst the class had already passed you by. A hand appeared in front of you gathering the spill of paper. You looked up to thank the person it was attached to when you found yourself looking into familiar eyes.

“Thank you so- oh.”

Eddie swallowed holding his pile out to you. You immediately clammed up but took the pile and held it to your chest as you stood.

“Thanks.” You mumbled. He stood slowly to meet you before you walked past him and out the door. He thought that had made no difference until he found you no longer aimed to stay away. You no longer seemed wary of only words of harm leaving his mouth.

At least you weren’t shoving him away with a bargepole anymore.

Step 3. Talk.

Talking to you was evidently not his strong suit but he couldn’t have planned this better. He had your sheet music in hand, half assed notes of his own to make it look like he had questions and concerns. He would tell you he was curious about your style choices and needed an explanation. It was a perfect plan. Yet here he stands in front of you speechless.

“Couldn’t you have just emailed me?”

Shit.

“Well no my laptop crashed yesterday and I didn’t want to just not do the work so uh yeah.” Idiot.

You choose to ignore the fact that you saw him on his laptop in class earlier and you grab the sheet from his hands. You spend the next ten minutes going through his questions and correcting his notes. He fidgets as he sits listening to things he already knows. But you move closer. You point out his mistakes. You make eye contact. You finish your speech and look up at him tiredly.

“Don’t know where I’d be without you angel.”

“Probably be off torturing another girl somewhere.”

Your words hold no poison and he takes that as a victory, he smiles gently back at you.

“Probably. Probably”

Step 4. Apologize.

“Sorry what?” You replied, your face stuffed with a grilled cheese as you rip out your headphones. He was obviously interrupting. Oh well. Too late now.

“I was a dick. I’m sorry.” He said looking to the ground.

You put your food down and turned to face him. “Where’s this coming from? Been waiting for this Eddie all my life. Did your uncle have a go at you or something?”

Yes he did. But he didn’t need you knowing that. “No I just realized you were right. This work involves both of us and its easier when we can tolerate each other being in the same room.”

You sit in a silent state of shock at Eddie’s out of the blue maturity. “Oh. Okay then.” The silence continues as Eddie digs his shoe into the ground and you stare at your food. “Do you um- Do you wanna sit?” You gesture at the opposite bench.

His eyebrows raise. “Uh yeah. Yeah for sure.”

Maybe Wayne was right. It was that easy.

Just one more step.

---

At your usual table sat a familiar coffee cup. One with loafs of bread and leaves scrawled along the rim spotting this you instantly knew where it was from and who put it there. The real question was why.

You walk tentatively closer, eyes catching on the boy sitting in the opposite corner of the room chipping away at his black nail polish avoiding your eyes. Your attention then moves back to the cup as your bag slides off your shoulder and you reach for the cup taking a hesitant sip.

He even added almond milk.

You place the cup back down on the table and only then to you spot the hardly legible writing on the side.

‘Peace Offering?’

---

Taglist:

@micheledawn1975 , @emma77645 , @rustboxstarr

#eddie x reader #eddie x you #eddie x fem!reader #barista!eddie #slow burn #enemies to lovers #stranger things #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson smut #eddie munson

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dumbass-duo-showdown · 1 year

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ROUND 1!

To start, round 1 will take place during 2 days. Both starting at 5pm CET with the first 8 groups on each side, then with the other 8 at 8pm CET. With a break in between group 1 (apple) and group 2 (bapelsin).

We start with most votes, then by fandom. The rest is random

Round 1 - apple, 8/4-2023, day 1

God (bible) vs Reigen Arakata (mob psycho 100), finished

John Silver (treasure planet) vs Donquixote Rosinate (one piece)finished

Garmadon (Lego Ninjago) vs All Might (my hero academia), finished,

Bandit Heeler (bluey) vs Heinz Doofeshmirtz (Phineas and Ferb), finished,

Maes Hughes (full metal alchemist) vs Uncle Iroh (avatar, the last airbender), finished

Bob Blecher (bob’s burgers) vs Professor Utonium (PowerPuff girls), finished

Yosuke Koiwai (Azumanga Daioh) vs Iruka Umino (Naruto), finished

Asura (asura’s wrath) vs Darkwing Duck (ducktales cinematic universe I mean darkwing duck), finished, finished

Hakoda (avatar the last airbender) vs Kaname Date (ai: Somnium files), finished

Sojiro Sakura (persona) vs Ice King (adventure time), finished

Richard Waterson (the amazing world of gumball) vs Dr Venomous (ok ko let’s be heros), finished

Splinter (teenage mountain ninja turtles) vs Kazuki Kurusu & Rei Suwa (buddy daddies), finished

Jotaro Kujo vs Bruno Bucciarati (JoJo’s bizarre adventure), finished

Greil vs Eliwood (fire emblem)

Peony vs Kukui (Pokémon), finished

Seteth (fire emblem) vs Phoenix Wright (ace attorney), finished

Day 2 9/4

Largo the black lion (tales in the abyss) vs David Evans (Inazuma 11), finished

Loid Forger (SpyxFamily) vs Ferid (Suikoden V), finished

Kotestu Kaburagi (tiger and bunny) vs Tim Lockwood (cloudy with a chance of meatballs), finished

Naoki Gotoh (bocchi the rock) vs Oscar Proud (the proud family), finished

Shouta Aizawa (my hero academia) vs Bill Green (big city greens), finished

Dracula (hotel Transylvania) vs Donald Duck (ducktales), finished

Ken Shirashi (project Sekai) vs Sailor Uranus (sailor moon), finished

Skipper (penguins of Madagascar) vs Norisuke Higashikata the 4th (JoJo’s bizarre adventure), finished

red leg Zeff (one piece) vs Sully (monsters inc), finished

Kouhei Inuzuka (sweetness and lighting) vs Geto Suguru (jujutsu Kaisen), finished

Alibert (wakfu) vs Oboro (Suikoden V), finished

Meta Knight (Kirby) vs Senshi (delicious in dungeon), finished

Jades Curtiss (tales of the abyss) vs Gru (despicable me), finished

Pankraz Gotha(dragon quest 5) vs Zenkichi Hasegawa (persona), finished

Keiji Shinoji (your turn to die) vs Kanan jarrus (Star Wars: rebels), finished

Chilchuck (delicious in dungeon) vs Mr Ping (kung fu panda), finished

Bapelsin day 1, 11-4

Eddie Diaz & Evan Buckley vs Bobby Nash (911), finished

Benjamin Sisko (Star Trek deep space 9) vs Dad Egbert (homestuck), finished

Subject Delta (bioshock) vs Damien Bloodmarch (dream daddy), finished

Goldlewis Dickinson (guilty gear) vs Atticus Finch (to kill a mockingbird), finished

Paul Blofis (Percy Jackson) vs Kazuhira Miller (metal gear solid), finished

Gomez Addams (the Addams family) vs Din Djarin (the mandalorian), finished

Hans Hubermann (the book thief) vs Lee Everett (telltales the walking dead), finished

Kiryu Kazuma (yakuza) vs Waymond Wang (everything everywhere all at once), finished

PART 2

Jean Valjean (les misérables) vs Joel Miller (the last of us), finished

Calvin’s dad (Calvin and Hobbes) vs Augustus Aquato (psychonauts), finished

Pyrrha Dve (the locked tomb) vs Dustan Thron (stardust), finished

Neon J (no straight roads) vs Common Wubbox (my singing monsters), finished

Patton Sanders (sander sides) vs Doc Louis (punch out), finished

Alther Mella (septimus heap) vs Riki (xenoblade), finished

Digby Wolf (fables/a wolf among us) vs Bob Cratchit (a Christmas carol) , finished

Petey (dogman) vs Mo Folchart (inkheart), finished

Day 2, 13-4

Alfred (Batman) vs Gandalf (lord of the rings), finished

Asgore Dreemurr (undertale) vs Micheal Bluth (arrested development), finished

Dave Seville (Alvin and the chipmunks) vs Martin Penderwick (the Penderwicks), finished

Anthony Herzen (professor Layton) vs Chimney Han (911), finished

Glamrock Freddy (five nights at Freddy’s) vs Mr Carrisford (a little princess), finished

Poseidon (Percy Jackson) vs bail Organa (Star Wars), finished

Neir Gestalt (Neir) vs Kim Dokja (Omniscient readers viewpoint), finished

Hal Wilkerson (Malcom in the middle) vs Ness’ dad (earthbound), finished

PART 2

Tony Stark (MCU) vs Lee Scoresby (his dark materials), finished

Dream (sandman) vs Kat (all quiet on the western front), finished

Thrushpelt (warrior cats) vs Teacher (the girl from the other side) , finished

Barret Wallace (final fantasy) vs Lazlo Cravensworth (what we do in the shadows), finished

Domingo Montoya (the princess bride) vs Charlie Swan (twilight), finished

Geralt of Rivia (the Witcher) vs Terry Jeffords (Brooklyn 99), finished

Dan Espinoza (Lucifer) vs Rupert Giles (Buffy), finished

Pollination Tech 9 smith (the sims 2) vs Marko (saga), finished

Okay basic questions time before I get a bunch of anon asks

“Two of these are women.”

Father figures also count

“Some of these doesn’t have their own kids”

See point 1

“Why is there only a few characters from the same franchise going against each other but sometimes they aren’t”

Because I only recognized fire emblem, Pokémon, and JJBA at first.

“Aus doesn’t count”

As a previous undertale fan. I could care less. And I am not replacing Tim with BAMSE.

“Replace x with Bamse”

Sorry but. Findus and Skalman have already won. 3 times are a bit too much for us sweds.

“911 is copaganda”

You see Brooklyn 911 (picked by wheel) and you go against fireback mountain. Shame on you anon.

“Dad council these aren’t all random”

Yeah but Neon J vs Wubbox = chaos

Code of conduct

EXTRA BATTLE

#best dad battle #best dad battle updates #treasure planet #bioshock #one piece #jojos bizarre adventure #911 on fox #bluey #dad council has an announcement

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flawlessstriker · 11 months

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Naruto Rare Pair Week - Day 5 Thursday 3rd: AU Roulette - Modern Band | Hal Quote* @narutorarepairweek

I've finally been outed. I.. really like the Road to Ninja movie, so I feel like I got a gift with getting to draw Sasuke and Menma in a band AU. It's something me and my bf have talk about a LOT.

#my art #narutorarepairweek #narutorarepairweek2023 #sasuke #sasuke uchiha #menma #menma uzumaki #naruto shippuden #naruto road to ninja #menmasasu #sasumenma #also i wanna use that AU Roulette more. it has a lot of good shit in it

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narhinafan · 6 months

Note

Honestly SP seems to make me hate ships that I normally would not hate because they're in the realm of fanfiction and fan art and I think that's harmless. Not taking the toxic fandoms into account it was SP that made me hate NaruSaku and Ichiruki.

I'll make this brief. Why do I now hate Ichiruki? I didn't always hate it. I was actually more of a fan of Ichiruki than Ichihime until I reread the bleach Manga last year and then watch the anime as well and I grew annoyed every time there was an Ichiruki moment. Not only does it break the pacing of scenes it makes characters acting out of character Ichigo and rukia especially. I don't mind non-canon crack ships as long as it's kept in the realm of fan art and fanfiction and not inserting it into what is supposed to be Canon moments in the story and at the expense of other characters.

What could have been an amazing movie where we explored a mirror universe instead we had NaruSaku the movie where Naruto and Sakura are acting both out of character and it kind of feels like there were two movies in one and the version that Kishimoto wrote was mostly cut from the cutting room floor.

There was a huge opportunity to explore a different aspect of Hinata and Sasuke's characters. Instead we got some stupid ship movie with NaruSaku. I mean there was so much potential with road to ninja Hinata and Sasuke and it was wasted. I mean the exact opposite of who these characters are in personality. I mean there's so much you could have explored. The best scenes of that movie arguably were like 5% of the film if even that and when you compare it to the likes of One piece strong world which came out a few years before actually respected The source material and the author you could tell the difference is night and day hell Naruto the last felt like a genuine story by Kishimoto and you can tell the difference between that film and road to ninja.

I argue that the tie into the movie was better than the movie itself because it actually explored Ino and explored the road to ninja version of Sakura who arguably was more likable than her canon counterpart. It's rare that you get to explore near universe versions of characters concepts are usually explored in science fiction and the very fact that SP wasted a cool concept was tossed aside for a freaking ship that had no chance in hell ever being Canon will never not piss me off.

SP makes it seem like every anime they seem to do a series of it makes it seem like that series is concerned with shipping and I don't think shipping is bad but it should never come at the expense of a Canon story written by the author. The author and only the author in my eyes in an official product should be able to dictate what ships happen and what ships don't for better or for worse we're not the people that choose who ends up with who the author does. This shipping bullshit kills the integrity in my opinion of these stories that we all enjoy because it seems like certain people are more concerned with the shipping aspect then the actual story

Honestly I was never a fan of Sakura, but it was more her fandom that made me hate her, SP's bias was just the icing on the cake that gave me more reason to dislike it.

I am more of an IchiRuki fan I watched the anime long before the manga hence all the scenes made me a fan though I have nothing against IchiHime and after reading the manga it was obvious why they happened and that SP was really bias towards IchiRuki through out the anime. Its no surprise the author had complaints and refused to let them do another season without his supervision.

Yes RTN was ruined by NaruSaku honestly considering it was set after Pain's confession and none canon it could have tied into Hinata's feelings for Naruto/Menma while exploring a different take. I really want to know why Menma ended up dark side considering he had a family and Hinata clearly loved him. It could have been a sweet story where Hinata toughened up to help Menma after people rejected him for the fox.

So true SP's shipping bias is so unprofessional and as you said ruins the integrity of the stories as they force a ship that contradicts canon and usually in ways that aren't believable.

#anti narusaku

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roseserpentpress · 2 years

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Third of the four mock Icha Icha novels that are Kakashi x Iruka fanfiction anthologies. As there is no design for this cover, I was allowed to go buck wild for the colour scheme, and well... Immediately, I decided to go for something obnoxious.

The theme for this volume was, as that the title was termed Icha Icha Innocence, relating to domesticity/family. Part of me thought it would be funny for it to be more explicit, in irony, but in the end I hadn't done a found family collection, and as that is a large trope within kakairu, I figured that would work better.

Link to the Icha Icha series master post.

List and links to fanfiction included below:

Starts with a Bang (4k, T)

The quickest way to a ninja's heart is with a good explosive tag.

Sneak Peek (4.5k, G)

A very young Kakashi gets a hold of a scroll that allows him a sneak peek in to his distant future. It's not what he expected to see.

A Shortcut to Marriage (7k, G)

“It was a quiet ceremony.” Iruka tells the man with the air of someone who says such things all the time. “There was a war on; it didn’t seem appropriate to celebrate. And the Rokudaime is a private person. It isn’t unreasonable for him to keep his personal life quiet for his partner’s safety. Especially considering Konoha’s…. checkered history with the lifespan of Kage spouses.”

“And how do you know about this arrangement if it is such a national secret?”

Iruka takes a deep breath, preparing to make his boldest claim yet. His mouth opens, ready to say that he and Kakashi are close, personal friends when…

“You can hardly marry a man without telling him about it.”

All of the air leaves Iruka’s lungs in a rush as Kakashi uses his big, dumb, mouth to ruin everything.

Mail Order What? (8.6k, T)

When Kakashi agreed to be on Minato and Kushina’s wills and care for Naruto if anything should happen to them he didn’t believe it would ever happen. At the advice of friends he decides hiring an au pair is his only option. Iruka might be his only hope, but the cute teacher comes with his own problems. Can the three of them really make it work?

He Needs You (10k, E)

Hatake Kakashi, Konoha's retired Hokage, finds his former assistant, Umino Iruka, wounded and in need of comfort.

Or does Kakashi need something from Iruka?

A road leading home to you (13k, T)

There are benches near the gates of Konoha where people wait for their loved ones to return from missions. Kakashi is used to ignoring them; it’s been a long time since someone has taken anything more than a professional interest in his comings and goings.

Let Me Take This Coat and This Weight Off of Your Shoulders (16k, T)

Iruka invites Kakashi over for dinner. This has some unexpected consequences.

Kitsune no Iruka (18.5k, T)

Naruto is not the only jinchuuriki in the village. Kakashi/Iruka.

Family Recipe (22k, T)

“Naruto is a person with a name,” Iruka snapped, already way past the limit of his patience for the day. Funny, how he could spend all day with small children, but a single council meeting wore him down to the bone. “Use it.”

“Hmm.”

For a long second, Iruka thought that he was about to die. And then Hatake’s eye curled in a friendly crinkle, an approximation of a smile.

“You’ll do,” Hatake said.

*** 5 times Kakashi & Iruka tried to be a normal family for Naruto + 1 time they were a full on ninja family ***

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mushangaa · 4 months

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Poor you. Now I'm going to start asking and I won't stop🫠💙🩵

1. Splinter have 6 of them?? OMG, can I please have names of two new?? For what I understood: Leo, Donnie, Raph, Mikey, someone like Venus (I think), and...?

Please I need the names.

2. So, they live on a ranch? 😍 Or they have a farmhouse or something like that...? 🤔

3. You mixed two things I adore: horses and the turtles. 🐎💚 For what I have understood, all the horses have their names (and mostly I hope their special personalities!✨) I want you to show me every single one of them 🫠🧡

4. I saw two little younger turtles in this au. How old are them- wait. How old are each of them?? 🫨

5. I saw a little comic. They share rooms? 🙉🎉 I saw Leo and Don sharing one (and I saw they decorated their door! Please can I see other doors??) and who are others sleeping with? Just tell me how many rooms this beautiful house has. One or more bathrooms? Guest rooms? Big kitchen? 😏

6. Are everyone friendly with the horses? Or is there someone who is a bit scared to ride them, so someone likes ponys a bit more? 🥹 I noticed Leo have his favorite: the stunningly beautiful black and white horse- Comet. S-sorry... He is a boy? (I'm asking for the horse, I know Leo's pronouns 😂)

7. Is the ranch (or the farm) only for horses? Or is there more animals? Cows? Chickens? ... Dogs, cats? 🐶🐱

8. How big is their land? Huge mansion far away from citys and complete landscape forest? Or a smaller house near the road? Or something in the middle? 💚🙊🐢

9. No ninjitsu? Or ninja masters? Or horse competition winners? 💥🏅

10. How... Oh. I just realized I can't write forever😢

Take your time in answering me (if you have the nerves left😶‍🌫️) ! ! !

But PLEASE don't make me wait for too long...! I love you!

...I will give you no peace from this moment be ready for me I will haunt this au forever you will never get rid of me😈

Ok, that's it. I can wait😅

💫💚💙🩵 🐎 🩵💙💚💫

Poor me? Nahhhh blessed me. You’re my favourite kind of person who just bangs open the door and gets me going with “TELL ME” and I’m like “hell yeah let me shake my brain like an 8 ball and all I have not pinned down yet shall be freestyled on the spot because that is such a normal way to worldbuild” soooo welcome, you are fine to badger me and you are very loved fyi.

Lets go.

1. Splinter have 6 of them?? OMG, can I please have names of two new?? For what I understood: Leo, Donnie, Raph, Mikey, someone like Venus (I think), and...? Jepp. 6 kiddos. Splinter went from no kids to 6 kids and to this day it is one of the most horrifying and most beautiful moments in his life. The how and why is a bit of a weight on his mind but he loves his children and he could not imagine a life without them. And yeah, Leo, Donnie, Raph, Mikey and then we have Frida (which was the name the showrunners intended to use for Venus de Milo so I rand with that bc I love both the idea of finally getting that girl a painter name instead of a sculpture and also Frida Kahlo kicks ass and so does my Frida so it fits like a fist to a punchable face) and Jennika the spunky gremlin child (she is the one with the yellow headband) she and Mikey are frequently up to no good.

Basically you can segment the kids in 3 groups: Big siblings (Frida, Raph), Disaster Twins (Leo, Donnie) & Baby Gremlins (Angie, Jen) 2. So, they live on a ranch? Or they have a farmhouse or something like that...? They have a farmhouse with attached barn for the horses. They also have a coop for chickens (and one accidental cockatrice) and some goats. They have some field with wheat and pumpkins and stuff. They trade their stuff with the neighbors and sell the rest. They have a chill little simple live going on so far and the only reason why they have such a huge house/land in the first place is bc daddy Lou made some big cash back in his human era as movie star so he put that to good use for himself and his kiddos.

3. You mixed two things I adore: horses and the turtles. For what I have understood, all the horses have their names (and mostly I hope their special personalities!✨) I want you to show me every single one of them Sooo I am still on the fence on how many horses there are because the thing is this, Splinter started collecting horses as human, mostly adopting his former “co-workers” from the movie sets when they retired or just bought them outright in their prime if he just happened to fall in love with them a lil too much on set. So he has a lot of them and took them with his family to the yokai world. Most of the horses of his kids are actually the second generation because some of the horses had foals so… I assume he has a good herd going on there. But the named ones are for now: Super Nova(lil Leo’s horse), lovely mare, dotes on Leo, was born when he was 10 so they grew up together and he jokingly will refer to her as his other, cooler twin. She, like her rider, is a bit of a showoff, loves flashy jumps, likes to win. Fibonacci(Donnies horse), a bastard, does not get along with almost anybody. Bitey. Very driven towards excellence which is why he gets along with Donnie because Donnie also strives for excellence and trains very diligently with Fibonacci to achieve greatness in dressage. Dandelion & Buttercup(Angies & Jens Ponies respectively) Lil menaces, they look cute and they know it and use that to their advantage frequently to nab snacks and cause mayhem. They frequently get out of horse pasture and nobody can figure out how they even do that and mostly just notice when they find them wandering on the property or on some glorious occasions in the house (mainly the kitchen). Sunflare(mother of Super Nova, Lous favorite horse but do not tell the other horses that) Gentle older mare, retired movie star, loves to bask in the sun and chill but has a feisty streak and likes to show the younglings “how it’s done” if Lou feels up for some stunt demonstrations. Comet (F!Leos mare, the black and white Percheron, she travelled through time with him so she is the coolest horse) Very chill horse, steady, does not get stressed out by anything really, which is easy to understand because her rider is huge and dangerous and can just pull swords out of thin air – why should she worry about anything? She is also a (legally, probably? Don handled the paperwork) emotional support animal. She will calm Leonardo down from panic attacks and in general is the strongest shoulder for him to lean on. Used to guard a herd of cattle prior to the stories beginning and now she is in the past with an injured baby version of her rider and the baby versions of his siblings and a lot of younger horses and she feels her work cut out for her but she can handle it. Pulsar wild black horse. [Redacted] I am a bit slow on the references truth be told, mainly because drawing references is the most daunting and boring thing for me lol But I will draw them eventually if only for the sake of making a height chart to orient myself on while doing the comic XD You can see Nova on the chapter cover (https://www.tumblr.com/mushangaa/742702413191970816/i-shock-denial) And Pulsar is in the very first sketchpage that kicked off the AU (https://www.tumblr.com/mushangaa/732381668257792000/202310-full-view-yeah-so-i-actually-just) And, if I get the last few comic pages for the tmnt AU comp done soonish you’ll see Dandelion, Buttercup and Fibonnaci too.

4. I saw two little younger turtles in this au. How old are them- wait. How old are each of them??

So… Frida is 18, Raph is 17, Leo and Donnie are 16, Jennika is 13 and Angie is 12. Especially the younger ones really lean into being the babies they are in no hurry growing up. Lou is 51 and would love to have a normal mildlife crisis like other people his age but instead he gets injured son and future version of this son in the span of a few weeks. Leonardo is 36 and traveled with Comet through time and assumes he is so fired from his old gig because they left the herd behind they were supposed to bring to another ranch.

5. I saw a little comic. They share rooms? I saw Leo and Don sharing one (and I saw they decorated their door! Please can I see other doors??) and who are others sleeping with? Just tell me how many rooms this beautiful house has. One or more bathrooms? Guest rooms? Big kitchen?

I need to design the whole house in the sims or at least as good as I can or make some kind of other plan for reference because for the mini comic I just went on vibes tbh the whole layout is not yet fixed. But yes, Leo and Don share a room, the rest does not, each has their own room even the little ones. Don and Leo share because they would cry and wail when they were younger if you separated them so they share. Technically there is a free room across from theirs that has been left empty for the day that one or both of them decides they are older now and need more space/privacy but that did not happen yet and after the accident Don would riot if he could not be close to his twin to keep an eye on him. Furthermore F!Leo is now currently set up in that room anyway because he needed somewhere to sleep too so he has it now. The rooms of the kids are up on the first floor. Main floor has a big living room, Splinters room, and yes, huge kitchen. They have a small bathroom up top and a bigger one on the main floor and yes it is chaos and mayhem sometimes when it comes to bathroom usage. Frida gets up at the crack of dawn just so she can use the bathroom in peace for example. The main thing about this house is the atrium style middle tho in my opinion. The hallways are in the middle, all rooms wrap around those and the middle is just.. open. So they can have conversations at the rails of the open middles from one floor to the next all the way down to the basement which is practical but also makes it loud. You can’t exactly hope for a private convo there gotta take those to the rooms with doors obviously. The living room has no door for example, just thick drapes that can be closed to keep the warmth of the fireplace confined to the room or to shut out the light from the atrium for movie marathons.

6. Are everyone friendly with the horses? Or is there someone who is a bit scared to ride them, so someone likes ponys a bit more? I noticed Leo have his favorite: the stunningly beautiful black and white horse- Comet. S-sorry... He is a boy? (I'm asking for the horse, I know Leo's pronouns)

All of them are friendly with the horses, they basically grew up on horseback because Splinter taught all of them how to handle the horses and ride them very early on. The horses are very important to him so he made sure that his kids know them and grow up alongside them. The little ones (Angie & Jen) like the ponies a bit more because they are lil tricksters like them so they are like a chaos unit.

They also start their days with tending to the horses, they are a lot of work and get frequently exercised. Of course Leo and Don pay special attention to their respective horses but they also ride the others here and there, the rest of the sibs also ride the horses frequently. They are also the quickest way into the nearby village as opposed to go by foot and if they have to check the borders of their land they also use the horses for a quick round. The horses are a big part of their lives. Comet is female. Leo (both versions) vibes better with mares.

7. Is the ranch (or the farm) only for horses? Or is there more animals? Cows? Chickens? ... Dogs, cats?

Oh yeah so I already answered that kinda up there but yeh it is a farm they do farming and have horses because their dad adopted a bunch. Other than that like I said a few goats for milk and cheese and Chickens for eggs and 1 (one) cockatrice. That one got accidentally mixed in when they incubated some eggs and they only realized much later that one chick is not like the others when it grew a lizard tail and leathery wings beneath the feathery ones but by then Raph was already very much in love with her so they kept her too. She protects the other chickens. They do not technically have cats but there are feral barn yokai cats that just showed up and vibe there and as long as they do not go into the house Splinter is okay with letting them stay there.

8. How big is their land? Huge mansion far away from citys and complete landscape forest? Or a smaller house near the road? Or something in the middle?

Yeah they kinda have a huge house (again, Splinter used a lot of his cash from his fame days to get a neat setup for his suddenly expanded family) Big Mama, who is a huge fan of his movies and him helped him with setting stuff up, securing the land and permits and stuff and how to navigate the yokai world a bit better in general. But yeah so the house is big and a bit out there, their land is big and surrounded by neighboring farmlands – it takes quite a hike for them to get to any neighbors and even longer to get to the nearby village. The Hamatos are known in the area and also known for being private but decent folks, keep to themselves, don’t cause much trouble. Splinter just ached for a simple live after becoming mutated and suddenly acquiring 6 kids you know?

There is a forest a little ways away bordering their land too and a beautiful lake. The kids love to go there.

9. No ninjitsu? Or ninja masters? Or horse competition winners?

No no, the kids know how to fight. Lou has been trained that part of his story is kinda still in line and living among yokai he figured it would be good if his kids know how to fight if things get dicey but he taught them more self-defense than anything at first. Then Donnie suddenly showed signs of mystical powers and bit by bit it manifested in the other kids too so Splinter put his apprehension for his old family and their stuff aside to teach his kids more and help them navigate those powers. Tho he wants his kids to keep those talents on the down low around other yokai if possible. Don and Leo have won a ton of competitions in eventing. See, Big Mama runs horse competitions to entertain people and she is really into it. She might also have an underground battle arena maybe but that is a big maybe. Then again it is Big Mama and shady is her middle name so who knows what she does beside hosting the very respectable Nexus Horse Tournaments. And Leo and Donnie are showboats, they love competing and they love their horses and they love to one up each other so they started early and are very known for being exceptional riders. Big Mama adores them. 10. How... Oh. I just realized I can't write forever Pshhh you can, I don’t mind I might just take a bit more time if I receive another big ask like this because I have a tight schedule usually and limited energy for everything I gotta pack in a day sometimes. But I love such big asks all the same and I am very thankful for the interest in my lovely little AU <3

#mushanga answers #the unicorn paradox #the unicorn paradox rambles #long post

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tmnt-oc-comp · 10 months

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Round 1A OC info cards: Jason (Jay) Peters

Information: “He was born in a small-ish town in upstate New York before he and his parents moved to NYC when he was really little, about 5-ish. Ever since he was a kid, he has been obsessed with dinosaurs, specifically dromeosaurids. He never really fit in at school and struggled with bullying for most of his life. His parents weren’t too much help, and he grew further and further apart from them as it seemed they couldn’t really give him the time of day. And yet, they always wanted him to have the perfect grades, join clubs, etc. He joined the parkour club at his school and that was his main form of escape from life in general. When he was 16, he tried to come out to his (unknown to him, extremely homophobic) parents as gay, but they were disgusted and ended up kicking him out. Lo and behold, that was the same day as the Kraang invasion. Them kicking him out of their apartment was what saved his life. He made it a few blocks down the road, trying to find shelter from the event, when he heard a building collapse and he discovered it was his own apartment building. His parents were crushed in the debris. He lived at the NYC Invasion Relief Center (Made up for my story lol) after that, for he had no sustainable income to rent a place to live). A few months later when everything calmed down, he managed to get an internship at the Museum of Natural History through his school. He worked there for a few months before he was but by an Oozesquito while working on a Utahraptor skull for a new display, and was mutated as such. He runs in fear after authorities are called, and meets the turtles on the rooftops of Times Square. After a brief misunderstanding that he was a new Villain of the Week, they decide to take him to the lair and help him. Later on after a fun little adventure, Splinter allows him to stay for as long as he wants (behavior permitting ofc), and the turtles are given the chance to test their own training in the form of teaching Jay how to be a ninja.”

Creator: @dragonartist56

#oc comp info cards

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azurelyy · 1 year

Note

kakashi!!

Hi, sweetheart! <3 One Copy Cat Ninja, coming right up!

1: sexuality headcanon

Kakashi isn't as experienced as people make him out to be. The main reason he's good in bed is because of all the porn he reads. That and he is just ~naturally gifted~ lol. But seriously, I don't imagine him having many notches on his bedpost. He most certainty isn't a fuck boy - he doesn't have the time, energy, or patience for that. No, if you're lucky enough to get with Kakashi then it's because he has an overwhelming attraction to you, and finds your personality addictive.

2: otp

I don't ship him with anyone in the canon show, tbh. Does @delirious-donna count? 😂 I am going to say so!

3: brotp

Gai! Come on! There is no other answer. These two are the best of fucking friends, and Kakashi knows it. He can deny it all he wants, but I know the truth.

4: notp

KakaSaku if we're sticking to canon where he was her fucking Sensei. I recently have opened my brain up to reading fics about them that alter the canon timeline, because honestly, it's some of the best written out there and I am starved for good Kakashi content that isn't y/n. I AM SORRY BUT THE FACTS ARE THE FACTS. Sometimes, you just want a third person story.

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

Kakashi literally doesn't stop. Even if he feels like shit, or is so sick he's struggling to keep his eyes open, he will still get out of bed and attempt to do whatever he had on his to-do list for that day. His partner will need to literally force him to stay home, and even then there's no way he is staying in bed. The second their eyes are off him, he's up trying to do chores around the house.

6: favorite line from this character

"Today, I got lost on the road of life." Iconic.

7: one way in which I relate to this character

There are so many to choose from... Unfortunately, I am going to have to go with the sort of sad option here and say I relate to how distant he can be when first meeting people. Basically, he and I share a trauma response lol. Maybe we could help each other get over it!

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

I will never get over the fact that he did this. Ever. It is burned into my brain.

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

He's a problematic KING. But we love him for it. It's okay, Kakashi - we're all a little fucked up in our own ways. <3

#kakashi hatake #kakashi headcanons #kakashi smut #azurelyy scribbles

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1moreoffkeyanthem · 7 months

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back at it again with OrangeJuiceVerse headcanons that only matter to me, this time it’s

Driving Related

except I don’t know the breeds of cars

• Stan: blue truck that used to be randys. It kinda starts crapping out on him in his late twenties but Kenny helps him keep it running and he won’t just sell it and get a new one bc the guy is a SENTIMENTAL LOSER and there are too many memories (c’mon he and Kyle having a lil stargazing date in the bed of it and that’s when they kissed for the first time aaaaa). It is kinda ancient tho. He named it Glamdring The Foe Hammer (curbs are the foes in question btw). Guitar pick hanging from his keys. He’s a pretty good driver except he blasts the music too loud, brakes abruptly for squirrels, and sucks at parking.

• Kyle: grey car since high school. He didn’t know what to name it so Cartman calls it the Bitch Mobile, and he takes great care of it, he’s one of those guys to have an organizer in the console. Despite the guys calling him “mom” and “grandma” he has HORRIBLE ROAD RAGE especially because he is obsessive about the rules of the road and obeying them exactly. The guys know they’re safest with him driving but the yelling at drivers who don’t use their blinkers makes him the last choice when the 5 drive lmao. Made a 97 on his driving test and almost retook it to get a perfect score.

• Tweek: silver suv that he got as a graduation gift from his parents (before he knew it was bought w drug money rip) he didn’t name it because that’s too much pressure. He HATES driving like he only got his license because he HAD to, and as an adult doesn’t do much more of it than errands around town. HAS to have the radio on an even number if he even allows music in the car at all and will go SO FAR OUT OF HIS WAY to avoid making a left turn without a light. Has so many unorganized emergency supplies in the back plus half his jackets and random shit he finds when out but doesn’t bother to bring inside.

•Craig: “nice and boring” black car that he keeps clean and simple. He named it Stripe (it does not have a stripe) and is LITERALLY THE BEST DRIVER IN THE OJV. Very calm and collected on the road even when Tweek’s in the passenger seat freaked out about them merging or something. Won’t let anyone behind the wheel other than himself and (if his husband is only going a short distance) Tweek (and Kyle that ONE TIME after they witnessed a gas station robbery and Craig had a meltdown). Guinea pig keychain, and his car always smells good.

•Kenny: also a truck guy, he fixed it up himself in hs and it isn’t particularly consistent about starting. Most of it is brown but one door is blue and the tailgate is green. Named it RESURRECTION. Radio doesn’t work and the seats are mismatched, he likes to say that it’s “made of spare parts just like himself” and is very attached to that thing. Even when he gets a new truck (baby blue, he named it Butterfly) after his art takes off, he keeps it around. One of those tacky hula dancers on the dash and SO many bumper stickers. He’s a decent driver, just reckless unless he has a passenger.

• Cartman: oh my god he totally has one of those stoner vans with a custom paint job in that 80s pondering my orb style of HIMSELF RIDING A FIREBREATHING CAT!!! (I will die on this hill) he calls it Eric Triumphant. Since he has the biggest vehicle and actually isn’t too bad of a driver (unless he’s trying to activate Kyle’s road rage) the m5 tend to use it for excursions. He picks the music though, every time, and sings LOUDLY.

• Marjorine: can’t drive bc ojv marj is, in fact, blind in the ninja star eye sorry queen

• Stan and Kyle take turns driving the other to school and sports every day in hs. Sometimes Marj and Ken will join if Kenny’s truck isn’t working.

• the group also coordinates occasional days where they all ride the bus for old times because THEY ARE ALL NOSTALGIC LOSERS, even the ones who won’t admit it.

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scholastic-dragon · 2 years

Text

this is based off of @brightlotusmoon idea that I was tagged in by @turtle-babe83

I hope I did it justice, this is one of my first really heavy and angsty pieces.

Close Call

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: my first angst piece, creepy date follows April, Mikey gets stabbed, mentions of blood, April kinda has a panic attack, HAPPY ENDING I PROMISE, This is not an April x Mikey fic, they consider each other siblings, dad!Splinter™️, spelling mistakes,

Summary: Mikey gets hurt trying to protect April from a bad date

Her phone dinged.

Finally.

She pulled her jacket tighter around her shoulders, fighting the autumn breeze. Pulling her phone out of her purse, April sighed in relief at Mikey’s name.

"I'm at the restaurant, look up and to the left,"

Doing just that, she saw him crouched down on the edge of the roof, out of sight from anybody who wasn't actively looking for him.

She smiled, texting a reply.

"Skate park?"

"Stake park."

She laughed quietly to herself, she needed a break from the hot and stuffy restaurant, hastily walking down the road to the skate park.

This late at night -and in the year- it's closed down, but Mikey had managed to get a key and met her by the gate.

"Hey, Mike," April smiled, watching him on the other side of the fence, pulling his key out and opening it for her.

"Heyyyyyy," He pulled her into a tight hug, moving so she could walk in the park and closing the gate behind her. "You said you wanted to talk?"

They both walked farther into the park, going to their normal spot, right by one of the big ramps in the far corner. The lights weren't that bright at any times of the day, but it gave the boys cover in case anyone showed up.

April sighed. "Yeah, it was another bad date," She hoped up on the ramp, feet dangling over the edge.

"Really? What was wrong this time?" Mikey sat next to her.

If it was anyone else she would've felt mocked or judged, but not with Mikey. He genuinely listened to everything she said. And was taking mental notes about what not to do when he got a date.

"He showed up 20 minutes late with no explanation why, and he made eye contact with me for maybe 5 minutes. The rest he was just looking at my chest," Mentioning her dress she pulled her jacket to cover herself.

It was a simple short black dress with soft flowy sleeves. She felt really pretty but seeing how he only looked at her dress mad ever skin crawl.

"And he was just rude, he kept interrupting and talking over me and his hand kept trying to touch my knee," April rambled.

"Sounds like an asshole,"

"He was," April chuckled dryly, exhaling heavily, her breath fogging the air.

"Now that's a bit mean," A third voice spoke, cutting through the air. April knew that voice.

Mikey- in true ninja fashion- rolled away into the dark shadows the moment another voice showed up.

April's head snapped up, seeing her date standing twenty feet away. He licked his lips, looking her up and down.

"I wouldn't talk that way about you," His voice was disgusting. April wanted to move but her legs went numb, only able to wrap her arms around herself and glare at him.

"Did you follow me?"

"I wasn't done with our date," He took the steps forward.

"I am. Go away." Her breathing picked up, she knew Mikey was watching the whole thing, ready to pounce. She wanted to run, but she was wearing high heels in a skate park.

He laughed, a horrible sound that made April colder than the breeze. "No. We're going to finish our date, it's the polite thing to do,"

He took several fast steps toward her: adrenaline forced her legs to stand, they shook slightly, feeling her chest tighten. One of his hands dipped into his pants pocket, pulling something out.

A pocket knife.

"The polite thing," Mikey flipped off of the ramp, landing behind the man, who jumped backwards eyes wide. "is to do what the lady says, and back off,"

"What-" With his back to April, she crawled around the ramp, putting distance between them. "What are you?"

"Your worst nightmare if you don't leave," Mikey glanced over his shoulder to see April had ducked behind the ramp.

"You think I'm scared of you?!" The man yelled, flicking out the knife and aiming it at Mikey.

It ran across his chest, leaving a thin white streak on his plastron. Mikey didn't flinch, looking down and chuckling.

"Wasn't the reaction I was expecting," Mikey looked back at the dude, who was much paler now.

Hey yelled again, raising the knife and charging forward. April gasped, hands covering her mouth.

Mikey grabbed the dudes wrist, applying enough pressure to hold him but not enough to break it.

He yelped, Mikey raising his arm, making the guy stand on his tiptoes, gasping loudly. Mikey squeezed his wrist, his fingers giving out and dropping the knife to the ground.

"Last warning," Mikey leaned in close to his face, the dude pulled and tried to free his hand. "Leave."

Turning, Mikey threw him toward the front gate, watching him try to find his footing, almost falling over on his face.

Mikey looked back to April, who came out from behind the ramp. Her face fell, voice shrill.

"Mikey, behind you!"

The man crawled around Mikey, grabbing the pocket knife and lunging at him. Mikey turned, back to April and groaned loudly.

April screamed when the man pushed the knife upwards, seeing drops of blood hit the pavement.

Realizing what happened, the man's face went pale, he let go of the knife and ran. Shoving the gate open he ran down the street and didn't look back.

Mikey groaned again, falling to his knees. April ran to him, tears fogging her eyes.

"Mikey!" She knelt by his side, tears falling seeing his side. "Mike-"

On the edge of his plastron, on the sensitive skin of his skin was a deep cut. Going from his hip bone to the middle of his abs. The knife was still embedded in his skin.

April froze, body shaking watching blood trickle out of the wound.

Mikey’s hand grabbed her arm, gripping tightly: tighter then he ever had.

"Call Leo," His teeth were clenched, voice etched with pain, blue eyes full of tears.

Dumping out her purse she found her phone, fingers shaking as she tried to dial Leo's number. By the third try his contact popped up, it started to ring. She grabbed Mikey’s hand.

"Hey, April-"

"He's bleeding! He's bleeding out and I don't know what to do!" She screamed, sobbing loudly.

"What? Who's bleeding? What's going on?"

"Mikey! Mikey got stabbed by my date and he's bleeding out!" Mikey gripped her hand, eyes getting glossy and far away.

She heard Leo running around the lair, addressing the others.

"Where are you?"

"The skate park," She sniffed, knowing her mascara was running down her cheeks.

"Raph and I are on our way, I'm giving the phone to Donnie, he's going to tell you what to do alright?" Leo's voice was scared, trying to remain the calm leader but struggling to uphold it.

"O-okay,"

More commotion, loud noises, scraping noises before Donnie's voice came through.

"April?"

"Donnie, I don't know what to do," She sobbed, voice quiet. Mikey’s hand wasn't gripping hers as hard and his breathing became more erratic.

"It's alright, Leo and Raph will be there in 5 minutes, can I ask you about the cut?"

"It's a pocket knife, it's pretty deep, he's breathing really heavily and there's a lot of blood," Her voice quivered, tears rolling down her neck.

"Is the knife still in the wound?" April only sobbed in response, covering her mouth. "Hey, hey, it's alright, I know this is very traumatic, but Mikey needs you. I need you to take a cloth or something and press it against the wound, can you do that?"

She nodded even though he couldn't see her. Taking off her jacket, she pressed it against his side, he winced in pain, tears in his eyes.

"Okay, I have a cloth there,"

"Alright, that's good, I know this is a lot but the others-"

"Mikey!" Two voices yelled out, April sobbed in relief, seeing Raph and Leo jumping over the fence.

"They're here," She cried into the phone.

"Do you want me to stay on the phone with you?"

"No, I'll be...I'll be alright, I'll see you at the lair," She hung up the phone, stepping away from Mikey as the others came to his side.

"Mikey, can you hear me?" Leo's voice was full of panic, pressing the jacket into his side.

Mikey weakly nodded.

"We're gonna take you home, buddy, come on," Raph took his arm, wrapping it around his shoulders and pulling Mikey to his feet.

Leo took the other arm, Mikey hanging practically limp in their arms.

They walked to the lair, April- after throwing her stuff into her purse- followed right behind them, sometimes opening gates or moving things out of the way.

After awkwardly shuffling Mikey down the manhole cover, they made it to the lair.

Donnie had cleaned off a table and came running to the others, taking Raph’s place and setting Mikey down on the table.

Donnie started talking to Leo asking him to grab things, as he removed her jacket. April saw the knife sticking out from his side and turned around, another sob escaping her.

"Hey," A gentle hand found her shoulder, when she looked up she saw Raph. Genuine feat in his eyes, voice quiet and afraid.

She sobbed, wrapping her arms around his waist and hugging him tightly. One of his hands went to her hair, and the other to her back: rubbing soothing circles, she didn't know if it was to calm her down or him.

About 30 minutes later, Donnie exited the lab, closing the door behind him. Leo moved past them to go to Splinters room.

Raph let go of April, a hand still on her back. She rubbed at her eyes with the butt of her palm.

"Is-" Raph started, swallowing hard.

"Where is he?" Splinter came rushing out of his room, eyes wide with fear, Leo following behind him. "Michelangelo, where is he?!" Splinter went right up to Donnie, panting heavily.

"He's resting now, he's fine, he's alright," Donnie grabbed Splinters hand, squeezing it. Donnie looked up at the others in the room. "He's alright, it's a deep wound and he'll need to rest for quite awhile but he's okay,"

"Is he awake?" Splinter asked, Donnie licked his lips, looking to the ground.

"No, he'll probably be out for another few hours, he lost a lot of blood,"

Splinter sighed, letting go of Donnie's hands and turning to face the others.

"Standing here worrying about him, isn't what Mikey would want, let's get some rest, I believe we all need a few moments to process what's happened," The boys bowed their heads as Splinter walked back to his room.

"April," Leo came up to her side, eyes brimming with tears. "Tell us what happened,"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a long night, April, Leo, and Raph fell asleep in the living room, taking about the accident.

April awoke to loud voices and commotions, opening her eyes she saw a blurry Splinter rush across the lair to Donnie's lab.

She sat up, legs aching, jolting Raph- who was sitting beside her- awake. She groaned, realizing she still had her heels on: reaching down she undid them, throwing them by the door.

She looked to Raph, his eyes red from crying.

"Can I borrow some clothes?" Her voice couldn't go any higher than a whisper. He nodded, standing up and going to his room.She changed into a pair of his shorts and a giant t-shirt.

They stood in the kitchen getting glasses of water, trying to not let their minds wander.

Donnie came into the room: smiling.

"He's awake," Raph dropped his cup, cracking it in the sink as he rushed toward Donnie. "He wants to see you both,"

You and Raph rush across the lair, getting to his lab, Raph goes in first.

Against the left wall was a cot, covered in a pile of blankets and a very tired Mikey. He had bandages covering his whole side and several tubes connected to his arm.

Leo sat in a chair by him, a tube also in his arm. Blood traveled from Leo's arm to a bag hanging from a small metal pole, into the tube going to Mikey. Splinter was on Leo’s other side, holding his hand, happy tears in his eyes.

"Hey, guys," Mikey’s voice was gravelly, eyes red and puffy. April gasped, rushing over to his side.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” He tried to sit up more, Leo moving one of the pillows to support his head. “I’m alright, this arm hurts pretty bad,” He lifts his left arm, the bandages preventing most movement. There was a large bruise where his shell met his arm and a few smaller ones by his elbow.

“But this arm is okay?” She asks, touching his right forearm.

“Yeah, that one’s fine,” He gave his classic warm smile, she sighed, shaking her head.

“Okay, okay, good,” She swallowed hard. Then pulled her arm back and punched his right shoulder. He yelped, not from pain, but surprise. Donne took a few steps forward as a precaution.

“Ow! Hmph-” He tried to say something but April wrapped her arms around hi neck, sobbing softly.

“Don’t you ever....ever do anything like that again!” The others relaxed when they realized it didn’t hurt him.

“I was trying to get rid of that creep-” Mikey tried to argue, but seeing Splinter’s hard eyes and stern face he quickly shut his mouth. “I won’t,” He amended, wrapping his good arm around her shoulders, resting his head against hers.

“You better not,” Leo mumbled under his breath, causing the others to laugh softly.

“You promise?” She pulled away, wiping away her fresh tears. Raph put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“I promise,”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

tags: @turtle-babe83 @thelaundrybitch @mysticboombox @strawberrycakeblog

#tmnt #tmnt bayverse #tmnt 2014 #tmnt 2016 #tmnt mikey #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt donnie #tmnt leo #tmnt raph #tmnt headcannons #tmnt imagines #april #april o'neil #not my idea

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kaguyasconception · 1 year

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Pre-Boruto Konohagakure Central Locations

1. Ninja Academy:

Used heavily for both military and domestic affairs, established by the Nidaime Hokage, Tobirama Senju. It has been expanded many times to reach its current size, and the curriculum changed with new generations. It is found at the base of the Hokage mountain, this building also contains the administrative division where the Hokage office is located.

The jōnin station is near here, and as the heart of the villages power, they congregate at this location when not on duty to wait on the Hokage’s order, or in case of an emergency. On top of the building is the terrace where Team 7 first told Kakashi, and each other, their dreams for the future. The Hokage mountain can be viewed from this spot, which during emergencies, residents of Konoha can assemble at it.

2. Hokage Residence:

Passed down from the Shodai Hokage, Hashirama Senju, this mansion is the residence of the current village leader. Its located near the academy and Hokage mountain, making it an ideal location.

The building contains many forbidden and dangerous scrolls, juts, and other top secret information, making it a highly sought after place for intruders, even before taking into account that the Hokage also lives there.

3. Konoha Hospital:

The Konoha hospital contains both civilian doctors and medical-nin. Although most of the staff are skilled enough for basic treatment, special cases and certain emergencies mean that the higher skilled medics are required. Research in medicine and jutsu development occurs here.

4. Movie Theatre:

Located on one of the largest roads in Konoha, the cinema is a popular site for adults. This may be due to the influx of Make-Out (Icha Icha) fans, as these R-rated screenings are often sold out for days. Young people do also frequent the cinema, with Princess Gale movies becoming well liked. Tickets for admission to the Make-Out (Icha Icha) viewing are around 180ryo per person.

At the bookstore, the Make-out Paradise volume 1-3 and Make-Out Violence books are sold at 120ryo each, the price of Make-Out Innocence and Make-Out Tactics is unknown, but thought to be similarly priced.

5. Yamanaka Flowers:

This is a flower shop run by the Yamanaka clan, like an invitation to the land of dreams, the shop is filled with beautiful colours and scents. It was opened during the time of the Shodai Hokage, meaning its been ran for over 60 years.

6. Naruto’s Neighbourhood:

Near the academy, always bustling with people. It contains many old shops.

7. Ichiraku Ramen:

A favoured ramen shop within Konoha, founded 34 years before Shippuden by Teuchi, and ran alongside his daughter. Its popular amongst the old and young, famous for their strong commitment to taste and the tonkotsu they serve.

8. Konoha Tea Avenue:

A row of tea and sweet shops with a great view of the Hokage mountain. A famous shop here is the Amaguriama sweet shop, known for its kuriyoukan (chestnuts and sweet bean jelly), and their kuri zenzai (chestnuts and red bean paste soup). It also contains the Dango shop Team 10 visit.

9. Shushu-ya:

A Chinese restaurant selling huge plates of food and their own brand of sake.

10. Reservoir:

A reservoir within Konoha, and a frequent waiting spot for Team 7.

11. Naruto’s Place:

Naruto’s apartment consisted of an open plan kitchen and bedroom, a bathroom (11), a toilet (10), and a small training room covered with no windows. As shown in the below illustration the main room has the entrance to the apartment (1), shelves for shoes (2), a box of ramen (3), a sink to wash dishes (4), cupboards (5), Naruto’s old goggles on a shelf above his bed (6), an under bed storage area (7) and a mirror (8). The training room has a mini (and exhausted) Kakashi plush (9). Naruto is very fond of plants, as can be seen by his collection. His bedroom window is east facing, so the room gets plenty of natural light.

Honourable Mentions

Konoha Hot Springs:

Dozens of hot springs to help shinobi relax, or even train. The hot springs are divided by gender.

Yakiniku Q:

This is a Korean restaurant within Konoha, shinobi teams frequent the place after missions or in times of celebration. Their most popular dish is salted beef tongue with welsh onion.

Hokage Rock:

Symbol of the village, with each Hokage’s faced carved into it. During emergencies everyone assembles here.

Kikyo Castle:

Castle near the village borders, site of where Gaara killed Dosu Kinuta, and near where Baki and Hayate Gekko fought.

Practice Grounds:

Used for shinobi training and skirmishes, more than fifty training grounds available with different sizes and layouts.

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lavena · 1 year

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So I've been listen to The Narcissist Cookbook recently and "I think I'm going to leave my phone at home tonight" has been on repeat and for some reason I can't get Michelangelo out of my head with this song. It doesn't sound like him or have the usual vibe of him, but its sticking. So rather than simply satiate my need for mikey content specifically in the 07 verse by scrolling through the entire tag once more, I have been crafting the story my head has been picking at me to make. While I almost feel as though the 12 stem adhd kid that mikey is would work well with this. 07 has a special place in my heart and I was throughly stripped of all my content from that universe. So here is my headcannon:

Splinter sends each of his sons on a journey of self discovery. Leo was the first ( get where 07 is coming in now eh), he went to South America and spent 2 years finding what he though Splinter sent him to find. " What it means to be a Leader and a Ninja" he came home expecting his brothers to fall in line with their old dynamics, but they had spent those years changing just as much if not more than he had.

A bit after the Winters debacle Raph was sent on his journey, he took Splinters words as " find what it is you are fighting for" he left to Canada, spending a touch over a year exploring the wilderness, trying to find inner peace and what it was he fought for. In the end he discovered he was never fighting against anything, he was protecting. Raph may be violent and volatile, but he protects to a fault. He came home with a different sense of self and with a new ferocity to protect the people of his town and his brothers.

Despite Donatellos reluctance to leave Mikey after the relation they had built up during the years of feeling as though they were the only family they had left, Donnie was next to leave. He tried to remain close should any of his brothers need to contact him or need help from him. Don traveled through the US, going from college town to college town, interviewing students in the night and speaking at event remotely in the day. He meet new people, gained a wealth of new knowledge, and found what he felt his purpose was. To learn, and to teach. When he cam back home after two and a half years, he became a professor for online classes with the University of New York, and continued to learn all he could manage.

Michelangelo was the last to leave. He had spent all these years working and making sure the Lair stayed running throughout his brothers excursions, by the time he left he was nearly 23. He left the farthest, a cross the sea to the lands of old. He explored waterfront Europe, looking at the works of the original Michelangelo, finding art and graffiti that caught his eye. Michelangelo had the most trouble trying to figure what his fathers words ment. Throughout nearly 5 years Michelangelo was left to roam, he sent his last message to his family at his 2nd year mark, simply stating " I think I'm going to leave my phone at home tonight". They lost connection with him after that until a single message was sent to splinter alone. His eldest 3 sons peeked in to listen to the video message their littlest brother sent. Michelangelo looked calm. Peaceful, but most of all, he looked serious. In his message he slowly explained his journey in the only way Mikey know how.

The city doesn't look like any other

It is piled on top of itself, like layers of sediment

I followed a path that felt level enough

Across roads and down alleys and then coming to a railing

I look over and I see the roof of a dizzying cathedral beneath me

That ten minutes earlier I had been staring up at, in wonder

The city is a curse on cartographers

Bridges passing over bridges

Streets stacked upon streets upon streets

Parallel worlds, never quite meet

Buildings larger inside than out

Non-descript doors that lead somehow to entire hidden towns

Stairwells stretch ever up and ever down

And all of this, I strongly suspect

Moving, and changing when no one is around

The city sleeps, and it sleeps deeply

Drawing long heavy breaths

You might mistake for the groan of traffic

Or the groan of machinery

And when it dreams

The empty streets swell with figments of its dreaming

Like you

Like me

You and me, we

Peer curiously down back alleys

We scale cathedrals and cling to their spires

To crawl with the gargoyles

We scratch dark prophecy into bathroom stall walls

And answer calls on disconnected payphones

And through our eyes and our hearts and mouths

The city begins to know itself

Through our missed exits, bad calls, and wrong turns

It thoroughly, painstakingly, maps itself out

Michelangelo learned a message much different than his brothers. Michelangelo was know well for making mistakes and his goofy nature often caused problems. But throughout his years he realized that no one is perfect, and those imperfections are what makes life so exciting,. Its why humans, or more closely to him, conscious beings, were so rare. Were we cities they could never be fully mapped out. There will be brilliant sites only seen through hard endeavors, climbing a mountain, scaling a sky scraper, diving deep into an abyss, or following your heart through wrong directions and strange turns. No person can be fully mapped out. But taking the time to search within someone to get to know their strangeness and taking a leap unsure of what lies ahead. We can get to know ourselves just a bit more.

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fanboys-anonymous · 6 months

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#IFTTT #Blogger

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balioc · 1 year

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BALIOC’S READING LIST, 2022 EDITION

With one exception, this list counts only published books, consumed in published-book format, that I read for the first time and finished. (There was one serious-seeming book that, as far as I know, exists only in free-floating PDF form.) No rereads, nothing abandoned halfway through, no Internet detritus of any kind apart from the aforementioned, etc. Also no children’s picture books.

1. The Blue Castle, Lucy Maude Montgomery

2. The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters, Priya Parker

3. The Girl and the Mountain, Mark Lawrence

4. There Is No Antimemetics Division, qntm

5. Dreamsnake, Vonda N. McIntyre

6. War and State Building in Medieval Japan, Various (ed. John A. Ferejohn and Frances McCall Rosenbluth)

7. Legal Systems Very Different From Ours, David Friedman, Peter T. Leeson, and David Skarbek

8. The Revolutions, Felix Gilman

9. Age of Ash, Daniel Abraham

10. When the Sea Turned to Silver, Grace Lin

11. Summer in Orcus, T. Kingfisher

12. The Thousand Eyes, A. K. Larkwood

13. Kingfall, David Estes

14. Surrogation, Suspended Reason

15. The Hands of the Emperor, Victoria Goddard

16. The Remains of the Day, Kazuo Ishiguro

17. Hakkenden -- Part 1: "An Ill-Considered Jest," Kyokutei Bakin

18. Claws of the Cat, Susan Spann

19. Blade of the Samurai, Susan Spann

20. Flask of the Drunken Master, Susan Spann

21. The Ninja's Daughter, Susan Spann

22. Betrayal at Iga, Susan Spann

23. Trial at Mount Koya, Susan Spann

24. Ghost of the Bamboo Road, Susan Spann

25. Fires of Edo, Susan Spann

26. The Discord of Gods, Jenn Lyons

27. All the Seas of the World, Guy Gavriel Kay

28. Don Rodriguez: Chronicles of Shadow Valley, Edward Plunkett, Lord Dunsany

29. Streets of Gold: America's Untold Story of Immigrant Success, Ran Abramitzky and Leah Bousyan

30. Harrow the Ninth, Tamsyn Muir

31. Perhaps the Stars, Ada Palmer

32. Dreadgod, Will Wight

33. Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal, Christopher Moore

34. Manfred, George Gordon, Lord Byron

35. Friend to Mankind: Marsilio Ficino (1433-1499), Various (ed. Michael Shepherd)

36. Locklands, Robert Jackson Bennett

37. The Jade Setter of Janloon, Fonda Lee

38. Spring Snow, Yukio Mishima

39. Against All Gods, Miles Cameron

40. Nona the Ninth, Tamsyn Muir

41. Slouching Towards Utopia: An Economic History of the Twentieth Century, J. Bradford DeLong

42. The Golden Enclaves, Naomi Novik

43. The Rise of the Dragon: An Illustrated History of the Targaryen Dynasty, Vol. I, George R. R. Martin, Elio M. Garcia Jr., and Linda Antonsson

44. A Garter as a Lesser Gift, Aster Glenn Gray

45. The Night-Bird's Feather, Jenna Moran

46. Absolution by Murder, Peter Tremayne

47. The Lost Metal, Brandon Sanderson

48. Shroud for the Archbishop, Peter Tremayne

49. Yamada Monogatari: Demon Hunter, Richard Parks

50. Yamada Monogatari: To Break the Demon Gate, Richard Parks

51. Yamada Monogatari: The War God's Son, Richard Parks

52. Yamada Monogatari: The Emperor in Shadow, Richard Parks

53. Pulling the Wings off Angels, K. J. Parker

54. Laurus, Eugene Vodolazkin

55. The Ogre's Wife: Fairy Tales for Grownups, Richard Parks

56. The Dream of a Ridiculous Man, Fyodor Dostoevsky

Plausible works of improving nonfiction consumed in 2021: 7

[“plausible” and “improving” are being defined very liberally here]

Works written by women consumed in 2021: 23

Works written by men consumed in 2021: 29

Works written by both men and women consumed in 2021: 4

Balioc’s Choice Award, Fiction Division: The Remains of the Day

>>>> Honorable Mention: Laurus

Balioc’s Choice Award, Nonfiction Division: Slouching Towards Utopia: An Economic History of the Twentieth Century

>>>> Honorable Mention: War and State Building in Medieval Japan

Series Award for: A Deeply Flawed Work of Luminescent Genius, No Really, This Thing is Artistically and Intellectually Important and Its Flaws Only Make It More So, Dear God What Were They Thinking Not Giving It the Hugo -- the Terra Ignora books, by Ada Palmer

Series Award for: I Cannot Begin to Articulate How Mad I Am That These Books of All Books Have Become Cultural Touchstones of My Local Social and Artistic Circle -- the Locked Tomb books, by Tamsyn Muir

Series Award for: I Must Give Credit to a Brave Author Who Makes Unexpected Moves and Tries New Things with Every Book, Even if Everything She Tries is Terrible -- the Locked Tomb books, by Tamsyn Muir

**********

Fiction-wise, this was actually a better year than you'd think from just eyeballing the list. The overall numbers are still below par, and there's too much shlocky formulaic mystery-series-type stuff; but there was a lot of real quality in there. I had real trouble deciding on my top two, and I ended up not giving either prize to a book by Jenna Moran writing at her normal level of quality, so that says something. There were a number of books that disappointed by not being amazing but that I'm still glad to have read (e.g. Summer in Orcus, The Hands of the Emperor). Even the shlocky formulaic stuff had more merit than you might expect, in many cases.

Serious contemplatively-emotional litfic is real good, at its best. Turns out.

Non-fiction-wise, this was a shitshow of unparalleled proportions. I read almost nothing, and what I read was uninspiring. (I started s number of things that I failed to finish, which didn't help.) I seriously considered making this a "no award" year. I am once again asking for your recommendations for really good, deeply-informative, blow-your-mind-open non-fiction.

#yearly reading list

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