#dead characters haunting the narrative my beloved

[gazpachoandbooks]

Ned and Lyanna being the closest people in the world as children and then Ned goes away from home and by the time they meet again they're almost grown but still so young and the distance made them grow into strangers to one another and the pure blinding love is all that remains now because they don't truly know each other anymore and they get trapped in their personal hell and the other isn't there to save them. And yet that love remains. And yet both of them end up having a child that is literally the other's doppelgänger and their children love each other more than anything in the world and they get separated too but this time distance isn't enough this time they've suffered and changed and grieved and they still would know each other's heart better than their own and Ned and Lyanna aren't there to see it but also they are somehow they're sown into everything that happens to them and everything they do and I made myself cry

[tofixtheshadows]

Id love to hear ur interpretation and analysis on falin! She’s one of my favorite characters and and I was wondering what ur thoughts on her are

Man, I struggle to think of anything I could say about Falin that others have not already said. But she's one of my favorite things about Dungeon Meshi too.

So much of the story revolves around Falin, and she's not even there. Tumblr loves to talk about haunting the narrative, but Falin might be one of the best examples of it ever put to page. She's dead. She's alive. She's dead. She's alive. She's alive but she's missing, she's alive but she isn't herself. She's dead but she might wake. She's dead but she's frozen in ice. She's alive but she's sleepwalking. They chase her ghost and they chase her body all through the story.

I think what Kui does with her is fascinating. Not just as character with a personality we can analyze, but as an object in a narrative- that's why I say she's one of my favorite things about the story, because I also mean it in a mechanical sense. As a writer, Kui's really good at misdirection- that is, setting you up to believe or expect something about a character or a plot, and then turning that on its head. It's most apparent with Kabru, but it works really well with Falin too.

Because the precious little sister is a very well known character archetype, right? So is the gentle healer. The heart of the party. The white mage girl. The damsel in distress. The martyr.

And this isn't a Laura Palmer situation, where we find out that beneath her wholesome surface there's something dark and troubled. No, Falin truly is a kind and gentle person. That isn't where the misdirection leads (and that, too, I think, is another misdirection- it's not "Plot twist, she isn't as nice as you thought!", which would almost be too easy).

The misdirection here is more about structure than about character (but also, yeah- a little about character).

What I mean is, with these archetypes firmly in mind, along with a whole other host of fantasy genre expectations, I think anyone who goes into Dungeon Meshi un-spoiled probably expects Falin's rescue to be an endgame event; at least on a subconscious level, where you're not really thinking about it but in the back of your head you're already stretching out the story to place Falin firmly in the distance. Fire breathing dragon at the bottom of the dungeon is perfect final boss material, right? Slay the dragon. Rescue the princess.

And Falin is the perfect prize in the traditional old school fantasy that the concept of the titular dungeon is a send-up to. Blonde (white), soft-spoken, sweet-natured, beloved by everyone. An angelic figure.

Maybe that's why Ryoko Kui gave her white wings.

It is sort of jarring when chapter 23 rolls around and it's already time to fight the red dragon. And it takes a few chapters, but they succeed. And then Falin's impossible resurrection succeeds. But by then you guess that this is not going to be the story you expected it to be.

I want to point out that Falin spends a lot of time getting, well, babied, post-resurrection. Marcille washes her in the bath, despite Falin stating that she's capable of washing herself. Marcille schools her about her mana use despite Falin demonstrating that she is not hurting for mana, and brushes aside Falin's explanations. Both Marcille and Laios refuse to actually tell her what happened. Laios scruffs up her hair like she's a little kid and scolds her for something she can't remember doing. Marcille explicitly calls her a little kid when Falin tries to talk about how much she's grown.

Of course I'm not saying that Laios was wrong to act like a big brother, or that Marcille shouldn't be worried about taking care of her shell-shocked friend in the bath. But the framing of it clearly shows a Falin who is struggling to be heard.

If you'd like to address the big gay elephant in the room while we're here, I want to state for the record that- whether you read her as gay or not -I think Marcille is completely oblivious during this. Because Falin is her little friend from school. Her best friend, yes, but also the young tallman student she, in her infinite elven wisdom, had to mentor and look after. Marcille has not yet accepted that Falin is an adult now, nor has she accepted that she, herself, is only barely past teenagerhood developmentally and is not nearly as mature as she believes. Of course she'd scrub Falin in the bath and fuss over her.

Falin, meanwhile, seems more than aware of her own adult body and the inappropriate way Marcille is treating it.

The mana-sharing scene is, I think, Falin trying to get a little of her own back. How do you like it, Marcille?

And she tries again in bed.

Maybe she's wondering if their relationship will change now that they're grown ups. If Marcille prefers her as a little girl, or at least as a woman who lets herself be guided like one; if Marcille will react badly if Falin keeps trying to assert herself. She also might be subtly trying to signal to Marcille that bed sharing, like bathing, carries a different weight to it when you do it as adults rather than as children.

With all this in mind, the decision to turn Falin from the precious prize they rescued into to the vicious dragon they have to slay, hits a lot harder.

Falin with a powerful, monstrous, destructive body. Falin, who couldn't even stand to cause people pain from using healing spells, slaughtering half a dozen people in brutal ways. And that's not her, she's being mind-controlled, but as an object in the story she has completely flipped. From damsel to threat.

And I love that she carries a little bit of that with her when she's resurrected again.

Because she's no longer the girl who's going to let herself be stifled by her brother's and her best friend's co-dependency, no matter how much she loves them. She's different now: stronger, eyes open, forging her own path instead of following in their wake. Falin is still going to come back to them again, but this time it won't be because they chased her. It'll be because they let her go.

[ibrithir-was-here]

About Stoker's eight fairy tales 1881 book, there's one called The Castle Of The King. The premise, atmosphere, and imagery make it the darkest of them. The other tales are on the site, too. I want to make a post about this one when it's relevant (for reasons you'll find obvious soon) but I wanted to share a bit of it for now since you like fairy tales.

The characters are nameless, the main one is "the Poet" (he changes titles during the story), his wife (Beloved One, Wife, or Her) and the King and his Castle (who both haunt the narrative). The Poet and his Beloved are in love and got married after trials for him to be seen as worthy of her hand (despite that she always loved him back) by her family. But she gets ill while she's away for duty, and dies. "But, alas! for hope; for who knoweth what a day may bring forth? Only a little while ago his Dear One had left him hale, departing in the cause of duty; and now she lay sick and he not nigh to help her."

He can sense that she has passed, despite their far distance, and they find him already weeping in his and his wife's garden when they bring him the news.

“She now abides in the Castle of the King.” He looked at them eagerly, as if to ask: “What castle? What king?” They bowed their heads; and as they turned away weeping they murmured to him softly- “The Castle of the King of Death.” He spake no word; so they turned their weeping faces to him again. They found that he had risen and stood with a set purpose on his face. Then he said sweetly: “I go to find her, that where she abideth, I too may there abide.” They said to him: “You cannot go. Beyond the Portal she is, and in the Land of Death.” Set purpose shone in the Poet’s earnest, loving eyes as he answered them for the last time: “Where she has gone, there go I too. Through the Valley of the Shadow shall I wend my way. In these ears also shall ring the Music of the Spheres. I shall seek, and I shall find my Beloved in the Halls of the Castle of the King. I shall clasp her close-even before the dread face of the King of Death.”

They weep for him, and then the story continues with his quest for the Portal, going beyond it, his running through what's basically hell to find her; not fire/demons, but it's like battling against despair itself. Pitying souls, increasing desolation, mountains, sounds and bleakness try to break him, beasts hunt him but cannot kill him due to his vow alone, his feet bleeding as he runs. It has an atmosphere akin to traveling in Mordor or Dead Marshes… "Yet they stood there-Mount Despair on the one hand, and the Hill of Fear upon the other."

His single-mindedness is unflinching despite how much he cries and falls and honestly, the Poet is more of a proto-Jonathan than the man in Dracula's Guest. I won't spoil how it all goes but yeah I find it, and the other stories too interesting

Oh wow! Yeah definitely can see the Jonathan Harker-ness in all of that. I'll definitely have to check it out!

[pokegwyn2]

Having some big thoughts about Lucy Frostblade after episode 17 of FHJY.

You are a cleric of Ruvina, giant goddess of winter and sorrow. Your belief in her, the ancestral goddess of your people, is rock solid. You are not always happy, but you are kind, and spend time reviving the rats you and your friends kill in the forest.

You are the cleric of the high five heroes, and you are especially close to Kipperlily. She is your best friend, and she came up with the party name, and when the rest of the party wants to change it you stand by her in saying no. She is angry, all the time.

It is sophomore year, and you travel to the mountains of chaos, with a teacher as your guide. You spend time learning about a dead god, a god of rage and war and conquest. The teacher and his friend tell you that they want to bring this god back, and spend time helping your party level up.

At first, you agree. This is what your friends want, and what these teachers want. Teachers can be trusted, right? Bringing back a goddess, long forgotten, can’t be bad if they agree. And not just any goddess, but the sister of your own beloved Ruvina. (Did they tell you that it was your ancestors that killed Ankarna in the first place, to stop the conquest of her corrupted form?) Ruvina could have her sister back! (Did they tell you the plan was not to reinstate her, but to steal her divinity for themself, killing her for good?)

I wonder what made her change her mind. Did she find out the full plan, or the full history of the war between the Sunstones and the Frostblades? Had they presented the full story and plan to her? I imagine the possibility that she had decided to switch, to bring this goddess back, and thought that it might be happy for her deity to have her sister alive again. Did she pray to Ruvina, and maybe reveal to her the plan? Did Ruvina respond, and tell her not to do it?

Anyways it’s truly just brain rot hours about a character who has had literally zero dialogue because she was dead before we knew who she was, but she is Haunting this Narrative. (Also I would like it on record that I am of the opinion that all of the Rat Grinders are children who have been manipulated into this, by adults who have an agenda that they can be useful to. If they had been left alone, they would’ve just been kinda angry, resentful minor antagonists. Tbh if my only choice was to be dead or to be serving a god who I’ve been primed to agree with, I don’t know if I would’ve been strong enough to say stay dead.)

[ifyougoillfollow]

you know, we talk a lot about characters and/or relationships (of all kinds) being 'doomed by the narrative' around here, and how haunting and gut-wrenching that can be, especially when it so often takes the form of death and destruction and tragedy.

and we should keep doing that, obviously. death and destruction and tragedy kick total ass.

however. can we please spare a thought for the clowns trapped in that same (burning) room?

after all, what is a comic relief character if not doomed by the narrative to always act like a buffoon despite any and all circumstances, all for the sake of relieving narrative tension?

how must it feel, to have everyone around you dropping dead, losing limbs, losing loved ones, and otherwise being on the receiving end of unending torment - and all you can do is stand there and prattle off another zinger at your allotted time?

and what if you lose a loved one yourself, o jester mine? what if - hear me out - you lose multiple loved ones? what if it never ends? what will you do then?

well, if you're lucky, you'll get to mourn for all five of the seconds you're allowed to before the size thirty shoes go back on and the narrative moves on to other, more plot-central characters.

if you're not - well. it's a good thing clown makeup is waterproof, isn't it?

anyway, shout out to all my comedy kings out there doomed to play perpetual funnyman to their more plot-central counterparts despite being in undeniably comparable pain. you may be doomed by the narrative, but you are beloved by me <3

[grifff17]

Audiodrama Sunday 7/28/24

Last week I was busy on Sunday and didn't get a chance to do a write-up, but I still have my notes from that week, so this is going to be a long one.

To start off, the last 3 episodes of @lostterminal have been really good. Oni not having a concept of the physical world was so interesting, I love the worldbuilding this season. It was really cool how Seth compared him to a mycelium network. Also, CO is a great character, it was fun to have him back, and the stuff about spaceship design was very cool.

I finished season 2 of @itmeblog's InCo. The worldbuilding with the immortal soldier-gods was very cool. Also Alula is haunting the narrative nearly as much as Evelyn did in The Pasithea Powder. Space operas about not being able to get over losing someone my beloved (also check out Second Star to the Left). At the end of the season, the heist was really fun, Hatov did such a good job. Excited to start season 3.

The new episode of @midnightburgr was crazy. Starting from the beginning, I love a good Gloria speech, and David is a fun character. The french bit made me realize how many cognates french-english have. I know nothing about French but I was able to half tell what was being said. Then the ending was insane. So much happened in so little time. We definitely figured out what the harbinger of doom from Welcome to the Horizon is, I love how the two shows overlap.

@worldsbeyondpod this week started with a bang with the third real fight scene of the campaign. All 3 of them were so badass, it was so interesting how Suvi was unable to do harm. After that, the identify spell was so cool, possibly my favorite moment in the campaign. Then the reveal at the end! Brennan gave the players exactly what they need to destroy (or add to!) the coven. I wonder what they're going to do with it.

In @worldgonewrongpod Malik is really going through it. "Zoom call with the fey" is such a funny premise but awful when you actually consider the repercussions. I love that the writers wrote their fey consultant into the episode.

For @breakerwhiskey I saw that the show had ended and needed to catch up. I can't believe it took me this wrong to discover the best way to listen to this show, from your car radio driving down an empty road late at night. The ending with all the audio messages was so cool, I loved recognizing the names of so many other audio drama creators in the credits. I'm really excited to see where the show goes from here.

On a recommendation on here I listened to Childish: The Podcast Musical. This show has a truly insane premise, a world where college RAs are a well-known and respected group, and are much more important than they are in the real world. This show was really fun, some of the songs were super catchy.

There was a new Skyjacks: Courier's Call this week! I was hoping for new episodes every week, because that's what they did for the last season, but it looks like they're doing every two weeks. Kieran having a ghost buddy is really cool, I'm interested in her coming back later in the campaign, especially since Kieran sacrificed the bone whistle.

Mission Rejected this week had Chet Philips become President of the United States, which was totally expected but still fun. After the opening credits, Bowden and Gloria being hunted for sport was incredible. I love how this show constantly brings back one-off villains. I already posted about this, but Skip ordering a Monte Cristo with a side salad was a really clear reference to Midnight Burger, which I loved. And of course, the Admiral is back with a new insane scheme. We're halfway through the season and Skip and the gang don't even know he's back from the dead again yet.

That's all for this week(and last week). Hopefully next weekend I'll have enough time to not have to skip a week again.

[canonmisogynyvictimstournament]

PROPAGANDA

KAEDE AKAMATSU (DANGANRONPA V3)

1.) (Spoilers for the game but)

First female protagonist in the three main games of the series. Advertised as the protagonist in all of the game’s trailers and was hyped up, only to get brutally killed off at the end of the first chapter for shock value and to be replaced with a male protagonist. It’s revealed in the end that the reason she died was completely made up and she was killed for convenience.

In the one chapter she’s in there’s a scene of her taking her shirt off, as well as a joke about the male protagonist accidentally looking up her skirt while she’s climbing a ladder. Her legacy for the rest of the game is basically to act as the male protagonist’s reason for character development as he tries to become stronger.

2.) So disclaimer first that I think Kaede is actually really well-written as a character. She’s interesting and feels fleshed out and despite dying early on, she haunts the narrative so strongly that she was one of my favorite characters for the whole game AND she’s vital to the climax of the story. All that said…

Kaede was marketed as the protagonist of the game, making her the first female protagonist in the main DR series (there’s a female protag in a spin-off but the two other games in the main series both had male protags). You start the game and you immediately notice she has a stronger personality than either of the male protags from the previous games, who, while I like them, tend to be the normal ones in an otherwise colorful cast. She felt like a break from the usual protag mold and we even got to have a male secondary character this time who relied on her for support. But. She isn’t the protag. The guy I just mentioned is. You find out mid-trial 1 that Kaede is (sorta unintentionally) the killer and you switch control to the guy character and Kaede then dies at the end of the trial. As far as a plot goes, this was really really cool and well-executed, but it also means the game intentionally decided to pull a bait-and-switch where they advertised the “first female protag of the series!” only to kill her off early on and reveal the true protag was actually a guy who, once again is a character I like, but is much more similar to the previous two protags than Kaede was. There was literally no reason they had to put a female character as the false protag here, as the twist would’ve worked equally well or maybe even more if they revealed a typical male protag character was the killer and instead switched to a female protag for the rest of the game. Advertising Kaede as the first female main series protag while knowing she would be dead for the majority of the game and the actual protag would be a guy feels cheap and insulting, especially as a female player who was really excited to play as Kaede.

3.) She was the protagonist! But god forbid danganronpa has a female protagonist so (spoilers) she actually has to die sorry :( and then only exist in flashbacks the new male protagonist has where hes like damn wish we couldve dated

KAMALA KHAN (MARVEL COMICS) (CW: Racism)

1.) One of the most prominent brown women in all of comics, beloved by the fan base. Recently killed in a PETER PARKER SPIDERMAN COMIC (despite being much closer with Miles Morales and having basically no relationship with Peter) in what’s probably the name of MCU synergy, which nobody wanted (she’ll probably be resurrected as a mutant, erasing her unique and interesting history as an Inhuman). She was using her shapeshifting powers again despite having stopped in her solo as she got more confident in her own skin and identity as a Pakistani American girl, died disguised as the very white Mary Jane as a fake out/last minute replacement for killing off MJ. I fucking hate it here. A cheap trick to drive sales. L + Misogyny + racism + are you fucking kidding me

[cute-pluto]

hi op whats jaidevil

jaidevil is my theory for jaidens past where she discovers that she was an evil federation worker who did horrible things and caused harm in the name of the federation.

it also includes my own post reveal narrative of her past self continuing to haunt the island with the other characters lasting traumas, and present puzzles created by her past self and continuing to harm others.

and its about being a better person and grappling with your capacity to do harm and trying to move on from it but also about malicious actors from your past (cucurucho) trying to resurrect the living dead within you to continue the cycle of harm and repetition and reiteration to perfection that permeate the island.

but also because i know why youre asking this its about me accidentally giving her a real danganronpa 2 eske backstory LOL

jaidevil is my dearly beloved theory that i didnt see being too real at first but the more jaidens character in canon seems to get scared by the concept of being an evil fed worker in the past that hurt bagz the more i gain power-

[sidesteppostinghours]

💎 - Do you ever see yourself killing off the OC?

💀 - Does your OC have any phobias? FOR CAINE? You can't post things like this and not expect me to run through a wall to ask questions

evening oppy!!!! please spare my walls theyre expensive

💎 - Do you ever see yourself killing off the OC?

great question! absolutely not. caine is my beloved character haunted by the narrative and i refuse to ever let him die. he will drag his past around like dead weight as he works towards a future they dont know they will love. them killing off Other characters though, thats another question entirely.

💀 - Does your OC have any phobias?

i had to look up a list of phobias for this,,,, uhhh he has a fear of heights like most steps do but i wouldnt classify it as a phobia, they handle it pretty well compared to most other steps i know. im Pretty sure he has a phobia and its digging in the back of my mind but its stuck there, so i have no idea what it is 🗿

questions from here!

[rollercoasterwords]

hey rae, congrats on winning the costume contest! gotta be honest, i got very curious about what you think about promising young woman's politics and the ending. i remember enjoying it, other than thinking it was a bit irresponsable at some parts... but also i watched it a while ago and dont really remember much from it. im currently reading the zombie essays you rec'd, and im franlky loving it so so much. monster theory my beloved. And this is the first time im reading about zombies through sexuality lens, all essays i've read about zombies so far were about afro-latin religions and black resistance during colonization, but im loving, reading it in bed while giggling and quicking my feet, etc.... bc "queer zombie jesus" deserves to be a bed read cmom look at that sexy combination of words. hope you're doing well!! xxx substack guy

hi substack guy <3 would love 2 share my thoughts abt promising young woman but i will do that in a min + put it under a cut bc. spoilers etc. love that ur enjoying the zombie essays tho!! there are so many different angles 2 approach zombies as a monster; if u have any reading recs abt religion + colonization my inbox is always open...i have a book or 2 downloaded but have mostly read scattered articles in that vein. agree that 'queer zombie jesus' is SO fun that was one of my fave articles from zombies & sexuality lol. also just recently bought a book called dead white & blue that's abt zombies + usamerican nationalism so. excited 2 start exploring that topic as well...

anyway. promising young woman thoughts (got long...also tw sa):

still thinking & working thru them etc but. generally speaking i am not a huge fan of movies that fall into the rape revenge genre so i typically start them skeptical, and ultimately i thought it was...an odd choice to have the main character be seeking revenge not for herself, but on behalf of her dead friend's past assault...talk abt a dead girl haunting the narrative etc...but like. usually one of my issues w rape revenge is the tendency to turn the person who's been assaulted into this figure of the Righteous Victim such that they become less a person + more a symbol onto which an audience gets to project + live out violent catharsis etc...honestly don't necessarily think there's an inherent issue with creating or seeking out that form of catharsis in film but i just. do not think it is particularly politically useful...+ this setup just like. took that to the next level by literally removing the Victim from the narrative entirely, stripping her character of all agency + personhood, and making her friend the Agent seeking Justice on her behalf which. i mean it's a bit ironic innit...

was also not too sure how i felt abt the whole setup of "woman goes to bars, acts drunk, and there's ALWAYS a creep who tries to take her home + assault her"...i'm somewhat torn feeling-wise here bc i used to very much have this sort of "all men are [potential] monsters" mentality that like no matter where u go there will be someone there ready 2 take advantage of u but. i no longer feel like that is a very useful framework 4 discussing or addressing sexual violence. firstly in that it tends to devolve quickly into the sort of gender essentialism that i am fundamentally opposed to, but also bc it seems so defeatist to me. how are u supposed 2 address a problem if u assume that the problem is already so baked in, and in such simplistic terms? so while i do understand that this is a film and it's sort of dramatizing what is a very real issue, i'm not sure i was entirely sold on the way it was dramatizing it...felt like it was trying 2 highlight but in the process was also flattening 2 a certain extent...

and then like. i did to some extent appreciate the way the film is trying to highlight that it's oftentimes "nice guys" committing sexual violence, especially bc rape revenge films often just portray the "bad guys" as like. cartoonishly evil. but i felt like even there the film was still wanting to get back into that black + white territory, which manifested especially in the bo burnham character. like, on the one hand the film wants to highlight the fact that people committing sexual violence are often sympathetic, perhaps even kind, "nice" people and not obviously evil bad guys, but on the other hand it did not seem to want to sit in the gray area of what that means at all (ie, asking the audience to actually sympathize with or relate to anyone implicated in acts of sexual violence), meaning that whenever we found out a character was involved in an assault that character immediately became a completely unsympathetic bad guy. and like, again, i understand why the film wants to do that--nobody wants to encourage someone to sympathize with a rapist. but irl sexual violence is by and large not black and white, and the fact is that most people are able to sympathize with and relate to people who have committed these forms of violence, because they're not cartoonishly evil bad guys--they're friends, partners, coworkers, family members, etc. and so again, this just isn't a framework that i find particularly useful in addressing irl sexual violence, bc i think it leads to this dichotomy we so often seen where if The Perpetrator/The Accused is not clearly Evil, then they must be Innocent. so like. the film tries, in some ways, to trouble that dichotomy, but i think in the end it just falls back into it--it's just that the guys we thought were "nice" are actually "bad"; imo the audience isn't really encouraged to sit in any emotional stew beyond that.

i do give the movie props for the actual way it handled portrayals of assault; i thought it did a pretty good job there. in particular was a fan of the way they elected to never show the actual video of nina, and how in basically any scene with sexual violence the emphasis was largely on the face + emotions of the person experiencing it. and i mean i did enjoy the movie, for the most part, while i was watching it--like i thought it was a pretty engaging film, good acting, etc.

but if anything the ending really. solidified my disappointment in the politics of the movie. not just bc cassandra died--honestly, i think the death was an interesting choice and there are ways they maybe could have played it that i would have liked more. but having the "triumphant" ending be the cops swooping in to arrest al...give me a fucking break lol. like u set up this whole movie abt how the legal system + these various institutions fail people who have experienced sexual violence, and then...i'm supposed to expect the cops to handle it? the justice system that already failed previously in the movie? and the entire framing of the ending--cassandra's final texts, the music, etc--makes it clear that this is supposed to be a triumphant moment. so i was just like. wtf....like in the end both women are dead. what form of justice is the suggestion that their abuser might go to prison? especially when prison itself is a violent + corrupt institution that must be abolished as part of the fight to end sexual violence? just a very shitty ending overall to what was already a movie that had me sort of going "hmmm...idk" throughout lol. so! those r my thoughts currently

[desiredcrescent]

@thedragonagelesbian replied to your post “saw your tags on the 'inflexible honor code' post...”:

the only thing i love more than a paladin (and i love paladins a LOT) is a paladin constantly struggling with their nature-- daeris seems like an incredible character!!! the all-consuming nature of the oath, blazing with fury & justice & ILMATER MY BELOVED. also yes i can definitely see him & cyrus trying to out-martyr each other opiajsdfasf and if you want to share i'd be soooo curious to here more about the planned bard multiclass? esp with what happened w alfira...

​AAAAAAAaaa thank you thank you!!

Ok so sin #1 - Until i got highkey invested in Cyrus i didnt really get paladins- I've definitely not enjoyed playing them before in dnd, so its been soooooo much fun trying to explore the implications in bg3! SO with me not getting the paladin thing, i was thinking of a bard multiclass more for the narrative potential- someone growing beyond their oath and being ok with it. Something something, the fighter becomes a supporter and realises they are more than a knight in shining armour. (Not that Daeris sees himself as a knight per say but this was what I was building off!!)

ANYWAY. for Daeris this is super on the tables, especially after Alfira!!! if its ok its time for MEGA rambles but the situation made me feel things.

Daeris lets Alfira join camp happily, knowing he cannot shepherd all the tieflings to Baldur's Gate, but this sweet girl who bared her heart and made it into song, while sharing a new skill with Daeris but a day earlier? he could make room for one more.

only hours later she's dead on the floor, pooling with blood, in a ritualistic killing of pure brutality, and his hands are stained with her blood. His only memory he could conjure up being how scared she was.

He washes his hands first,scrubbing his skin raw trying to think of how this happened. He barely sleeps, her fear haunting him, but that's not the only thing. His oath, holding fast despite the depravity, but Ilmater's prayers have gone quiet. There is no guidance, with his oath feeling hollow as it still holds. She wasn't who he was hunting, she wasn't the face of his vengeance. So why does the divine still course through?

He confesses to the killing, before swiftly making an effort to give her a send off, a burial with the hopes that any of his divine powers will help her journey. The scrutiny of his companions only making his holy oath feel more fraudulent.

Daeris finally remembers the song Alfira was writing, in memory of Lihala. He remembers how the spare lute played effortlessly in his hands, despite having no recollection of ever holding a lute before. He thinks it to be a coincidence, but then a stray thought... why not, alongside a burial, give the charming young bard a proper bardic remembrance through song? It's the least she deserves. Anything to replace the fear she felt as the lasting memory in his head.

And so, with his faith in his oath beginning to wobble and a lute, Daeris begins to write a song, forcing himself to remember her as purely as he can. to his surprise, it comes as easily as the urge to kill, and feels just as holy as suffering should.

[jazzforthecaptain]

20 Fanfic Questions

Thanks to @merfilly for the tag!

How many works do you have on AO3?

126

What’s your total AO3 words count?

577,228

What fandoms do you write for?

Superwood (Supernatural/Torchwood crossover) is my biggest, followed by Supernatural, the Fast & Furious franchise, and Anne of Green Gables.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Down in Mexico (The Fast & The Furious)

Shine the Hood (The Fast & The Furious)

Rilla Blythe's Wedding: A Not Entirely Comprehensive Account (Anne of Green Gables)

Field Work (Supernatural)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I love responding to comments. I don't get to it as often as I used to, but I really enjoy making a pot of tea and sitting down with my laptop to answer everything in my inbox. If you send me love, you will (eventually) get love back.

What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ugh, Luminaria for sure, which I'm not linking because of some of the themes - you'll need to look that one up on your own and read ALL of the tags before proceeding. I didn't realize how hard of a time I'd have writing that one until I was in the middle of it, although I suppose I should have known considering I was finally going to touch the one hot point of Jack's sad history that I'd been avoiding. I think it was the first time I've ever written Ianto, really written him, and fuck, the PAIN.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

As I'm going through my fics, like, fuck, do I write actual happy endings? Considering the characters I write, it's not super surprising. How about Adventures in Holiday Baking? Everyone's happy and they save the dragons with German pastries? Field Work ends pretty okay?

Do you get hate on fics?

Not really. I think that's the blessing of existing in semi-anonymity. I have some fics that have racked up some surprising kudos, but I write for niche ships and very dead fandoms. I get the occasional weird comment, but nothing I'd call hate.

Do you write smut. If so what kind?

Yes. I have a hard time writing explicit smut because several of the characters I write frequently really balk at using the typical jargon in their narratives, and I cannot write flowery purple prose anymore. It's easier to write smut from some characters' viewpoints than others. I've written mild kink and I enjoy writing characters in kinky scenes, but I don't think I'm very good at it.

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Aha. Ahaha. Ahahahahaha. *sob*

Angels in the Architecture. I took my most dearly beloved fandoms and I made a jello salad with them.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not really? I mean-- *gestures over shoulder at the restaurant alley dumpster full of raccoons* --who wants this?

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I've had some offers, which I accepted, but I have no idea if they were translated or not.

Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Yes! Several times! I've gotten a little more withdrawn about collabs in my old age, but I've enjoyed the fics I've written with partners (and the Legendary One still sitting unfinished in my drive).

What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Look at my icon. You see my icon? It's Them. They haunt me. They will not leave me alone. Writing this ship is a lonely, lonely existence. Send help.

What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I am the kind of author who abandons a fic for almost a decade and then finishes it in six months, so I'll never say never. Indecent Rhythm certainly haunts me. The problem with that fic is I feel like I'm too old, jaded and scarred to finish it with the optimism with which I started it. I have a feeling there are people now who read that when they were teenagers who have kids now, and have had their own imagined endings to it for years, and so maybe I should just let them be and have the endings that they wanted rather than whatever I could come up with.

What are your writing strengths?

Settings. I dig into settings and I love including local color. Some of the memorable details from fics (Down in Mexico specifically comes to mind) come from me doing a street view tour of a neighborhood, wandering around to see what a city I've never visited looks like from the sidewalk.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Plotting in general. I have scenes, sometimes loose what-ifs. Bringing a story from idea to satisfying finish is paralyzing and 90% of the reason I don't finish a fic. I enjoying writing. The planning is a bitch of a dissatisfactory situation.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

If I have a good reason for it, I'll do it, but there are usually better ways to go about including other languages in fic. I've been learning Italian, however, and I've been itching to try writing drabbles in Italian.

First fandom you wrote for?

The Firebringer Trilogy, by Meredith Ann Pierce.

Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

It used to be Life Support, which is one of the fics I reread periodically and just kind of gape at myself because I forget I can write like that. But it's been upstaged by Out of the Empty, because that fic allowed me to incorporate all of the loopholes we got in the final season of Supernatural to scoop Castiel entirely out of the canonverse, to write Empty!Meg, and to write lovers meeting in dreams (more or less) before they meet in person, which is a favorite romance trope of mine. I worked a lot of my rage at the series out in that fic, and it's one of the few fics I can say I'm completely happy with.

Tagging: @naryrising @ladylilithprime @rodiniaorzetalthepenquin @awabubbles @merindab @avalonsilver

[webbyghost]

Fuck marry kill Leigh characters

Adam, Doug, Specs

How DARE you make me choose like this they are all my BELOVEDS

Ok ok

Marry Doug. Obviously. He's my wife.

hhhhhhh Fuck Specs, nerds are just. Delicious.

which just leaves Kill with Adam but he becomes a ghost and haunts my narrative so is he reeeeeally dead?

[juniperhillpatient]

The Swamp Re-Watch

Alright, this episode was a fun spooky adventure. I enjoyed the ghostly nature of the Swamp as a setting. Loved the horror movie moments as well as the opportunity for characters like Yue & Kya to haunt the narrative a little. Grief is an ongoing theme in Avatar, & it's fun to see it presented in the form of characters who are gone reappearing as visions.

(Something to keep in mind as I write this recap review is that I have been drinking wine steadily since 3 pm & it's now 3 am soooo about 12 hours? I'm not an alcoholic or on a bender, it's just Thanksgiving & I was with family now I'm home. Uh, the point is, I am doing my very bestest to be coherent okay 🙂)

Anywayyy! This episode was fun. I was gonna say I think this is the first time I'll really disagree with @theowritesfiction's overall opinion on the episode as we both do our re-watches because I really did enjoy this episode & I can't say anything negative about it but then I re-read the re-watch post in question & actually I overall agree with the commentary made. I just enjoyed the episode personally.

I think this episode's main fun comes from the ghostly vibe & overall horror movie homage vibe but it's also significant for the characters.

We see Katara seeing Kya again & breaking down. I think the main issue I have with this if I'm critiquing the writing, is that we should've gotten more...not closure, but emotional impact maybe? from that interaction. I think that part of the reason Katara's "complaints about her dead mom" are critiqued in this fandom (aside from blatant sexism & fandom idiocracy when it comes to Katara) DOES have to do with the way we're never really given significant flashbacks that tell us anything about Kya herself. Even this ghostly vision has her back turned. Can't haunt the narrative if you were never really a character. Still, it's an emotional moment for Katara, & important for understanding her character & the grief she is still holding onto.

I'm really glad that we got to see Yue again, & her vision's accusations that Sokka "didn't protect her" hit hard. Unlike the vision of Kya, I think that from a writing perspective, the vision of Yue was really thoughtful & fascinating. The real Yue chose to sacrifice herself & would never have blamed anyone else for her death. This vision berates Sokka for not doing better. I think that this says a lot about the nature of the Swamp. It doesn't show you actual ghosts, it shows you your own psyche.

That said....actually now my original thesis or like, point or whatever that this episode was super well written actually is falling apart because how does that fit in with the swamp guru dude's speech?

"In the swamp, we see visions of people we've lost, people we loved, folks we think are gone. [The shot cuts to show the people that Sokka and Katara saw in the swamp, before cutting back to Huu.] But the swamp tells us they're not. We're still connected to them. Time is an illusion and so is death."

My theory about this is that Huu doesn't fully understand the Swamp himself. No other option makes sense to me, because I think that the visions Sokka & Katara had only make sense from their own perspectives as manifestations of their grief. Kya turning away & saying nothing & Yue making Sokka feel worse for not preventing her death makes no sense unless it's Sokka & Katara's own fears manifesting. This isn't digging too deep or Pepe Sylvia-ing even, it's just...true. Huu, you don't get the Swamp, I'm stating it as fact now.

Anyway anyway. Um, on to Aang's vision! TOPH MY BELOVED <3 I love it but I also hate it. Again, I'm pissed that the whole "time is an illusion" thing just does not work because Kya & Yue's presence/actions/vibe literally just do not make sense in that context, it has to be a psychological thing for Sokka & Katara BUT the "time is an illusion" thing IS a clever allusion (ahhh I love getting to use that word when we're also talking about 'illusions') to Toph's future introduction.

Okay, I'm gonna be real honest with you guys I've been drinking even more wine the entire time I've been writing this re-cap/review & I'm running out of remotely intelligible thoughts (maybe none of these make the mark) BUT I thought of a funny idea. @theowritesfiction is doing a jerk point competition right? Okay well, I'm gonna do a "Iconic Points " competition. Basically, every time a character behaves in a way that makes me go "iconic" they get points. I have been trying to think of a fun - ummm I can't think of a word other than "alternative" but I KNOW that's not the word I'm looking for? but whatever - alternative to the "jerk points" thing to do myself & here we are.

Since I'm starting this competition late, the characters are getting raw points from Book 1 based fully on Wine Tipsy™ Rose's vague memories, which I think is a 100% Fair & Neutral & Objective (/joking) way to start this competition:

Katara: 1000 points for 'Imprisoned' & the pirate episode combined

Zuko: 1000 points for - well, I can't think of a specific instance but ILY Book 1 Zuko you depressed bastard you deserve some points

Jet: 1001 points - he gets 1 more point than Zuko & Katar for becoming one of my favorite characters in just one episode while they both took an entire season also for being better than everyone & done dirty by the Narrative™ AND the fandom & therefore deserving for first place status thus far

Sokka: 1000 points total. 800 points for 'The Northern Air Temple.' 200 for the Northern Siege episodes for making me fall in love with Yuekka & generally acting badass

Aang: 1000 points for Book 1 as an entirety because he had a lot of iconic moments, especially kicking Zhao & Zuko's asses

Yue: 1050 for the same reasons as Jet AND for sacrificing herself for the greater good

Book 2 so far:

Gaang: 0, they've been fine I guess but none of them have won any points sorry

Azula: 2000 for...I don't know? Everything? If you have to ask you've failed some kind of litmus test

Mai: 1000 for trying to kill the Gaang

Ty Lee: 1000 for acting suave about her childhood crush trying to kill her

Iroh: 500 for my perceived fan theory that I entirely made up about him tricking Zuko into getting help from Song.

Zuko: 500 for mugging a Karen Dude who embarrassed Iroh in the Swamp Episode

Okiii that is all I have to say for now! I will be more specific about assigning points & create a document to keep track in the future, but there you have it for now. Also, sorry for low-key copying you, Theo, but imitation is the sincerest form of flattery & I really wanted to do a points thingy myself too, it makes it so fun.

That's all for this episode!

Edit! I forgot that Suki gets 500 points for being a boss ass badass bitch in Book 1 but she's still not getting the super high 1000 count as everyone else for being low key forgettable. Not hate, just a noted thing about Book 1 & a further point that Suki needs more backstory

[postgameroutesix]

transcript: shivering, denver approached the house, regarding it as she always did, as a person rather than a structure. a person that wept, sighed, trembled and fell into fits (beloved, toni morrison)

transcript: i could swear that the house was not an empty shell but lived and breathed as it had lived before (rebecca, daphne du maurier)

LIKE this gothic convention is absolutely one of my all time faves its SO effective especially in narratives that are haunted by characters dead before the story even begins (the eponymous beloved + rebecca respectively)……very excited to finally experience ms shirley jackson's take on the concept

[robotlesbianjavert]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...

oh it's been forever since i got a top characters ask - this has probably changed a lot since i last considered a definitive top ten. and actually this has tormented me a lot. had to kill a lot of darlings. oof. not actually definitive this could probably change a lot.

10) it's a really good thing i never got into Supernatural when the fandom was in its heyday i think there would be something wrong with me if i did. anyways november 5th unlatched something in me and i do think that Castiel is real and alive and gay out there in the universe in a way that precious few characters can lay claim to. everyone please respect him.

9) Battleborn is a dead game and a dead fandom which i grieve all the time, not least because it meant one of the greatest yuris of all time was lost from knowledge. anyways i love Galilea for largely gay reasons - tall woman in armor sword and shield, intense relationship of deep friendship and betrayal with Ambra, being a knight templar cursed by eldritch powers. i miss her. we truly lost something great. being so trapped between duty and love that it rips you apart for the rest of your existence. insane.

8) when Locus from Red vs Blue was first introduced like i kneeeeewwww they were gonna do something with him and also he had a sexy voice (tragically the voice actor turned out to be a dick.) and my knowing paid off. i love it when a character tries to abdicate their autonomy in order to escape their crimes but ultimately can't it's soooooo juicy.

7) Beast Wars has so many insanely good characters who are all my favourites and it is so so so hard to ever choose among them. but Blackarachnia claws her way to the top. funny enough it's a point where i think the show failed with her character that pushed her to the top - a large part of her characterization is trying to win and protect her autonomy/individuality, and "proving grounds" is such a triumphant climax of that. but she's also stuck in a toy commercial and needed a new design to sell so "crossing the rubicon" had to happen. it's something about how she had to be literally knocked out for the writers to make that upgrade happen that's both infuriating, but also speaks to how strong she is as a character.

6) Denji & Power from Chainsaw Man, do not separate them. i'm actually incapable of separating them. i have a lot of beloved characters from csm - makima, aki, kobeni, asa, yuko, it's probably easier to name the ones i don't like - but denji and power as both individual characters and as a relationship in the story is so important to me. denji was a character i actively didn't think i would love as much until the narrative gut punched me so hard with the full breadth of his story and development. power i always knew i would love, and it paid off i was so pleased with her and chapter 90 was pure euphoria for me. i need to see them together again so much.

5) Eleanor from The Haunting of Hill House, SPECIFICALLY the novel not the tv show, the tv show is nothing to me. she's anxiety incarnate she's trying too hard she's a uhaul lesbian she's a jealous paranoid waif of a woman but this house loves and accepts and wants her so she'll let it have her. there are a lot of parts of eleanor that are painfully familiar and no one will ever understand her like me. certainly not mike flanagan.

4) Community is one of my favourite tv shows, and in a similar way to beast wars there's so many characters that i love love love. but Shirley is actually a very easy choice. a choice with a lot of hang-ups as shirley is easily the most mistreated and least developed of the main long-term cast and every day i imagine myself shaking dan harmon violently saying hey if you were so proud of have half a room of female writers maybe you should have a) kept going with that and b) make less of them right. there's so much ground that could have been covered with her anger issues and past alcoholism, her crossed paths with jeff as kids, finding herself outside of being a wife and a mother, and they just struggled to really do right by her. but also she's so cute the way she says "i'm so sorryyyyy" in competitive ecology. kills me all the time.

3) i have written 18 spinaraki fics with more in my wips and i think it's fair to say that Spinner from Boku no Hero Academia is an all time forever favourite character for me, just barely edging out over shigaraki. obviously spinner is a gay little evil henchman so that clinches it. but also it's just like - seeing him go from a nothing character that could have easily have been written out, to being given his own plotline and character arc about trying to find meaning and purpose and ultimately finding it in caring SO HARD about one weird guy. and he's so moe. i believe in him.

2) jose from cybersix but i can't talk about it.

anyways i'm actually really at killing my darlings so really quick a couple of runner ups based on long-term history vs faves with a recency bias.

Runner-Ups Based on Intense & Passionate History

mr lahey from trailer park boys; enrico from stravaganza; bulk & skull from power rangers; jason voorhees from friday the 13th; redcloak from order of the stick; gob from arrested development; soundwave from transformers (franchise-wide); harvey dent from batman: the animated series; hardison & sophie from leverage; rabbit from winnie the pooh; cobra commander from gi joe; hyde from jekyll and hyde; griffin from the invisible man; bosola from duchess of malfi; masquerade & gus from bakugan; claptrap from borderlands; hook-handed man from a series of unfortunate events; kaiba from yu-gi-oh; rorschach & laurie from watchmen; stephanie and reverend putty from moral orel; demidevimon & impmon from digimon; quickstrike, inferno, dinobot, and rattrap from beast wars; chang & abed from community; cybersix from cybersix; shigaraki and honestly all of the lov & mla in bnha; six & makoto from bnha: vigilantes.

Runner Ups Based on Recency Bias

jessica from cannibal farm; mimi from psycho goreman; oj from nope; barbara howard from abbott elementary; evelyn & joy from eeaao; kinsey from the strangers: prey at night; misty, taissa, and shauna from yellowjackets; eva from monster; akagi from kimeno jihen; dimple from mp100; uma from disney's descendant (a movie series i have not watched. but i like her sooo much.)

okay with all that off my chest, my most number one favourite character of all time ever.

1 ) Meowth from Pokemon he's my best friend.