#decision back today and it was an acceptance which is really exciting but like

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

anyway shout out to other people in the dead parent club who are going through important benchmarks in life and keep wildly oscillating between celebrating and grieving

[putellasawfc]

please may you do a beth mead fic where reader is new to arsenal and super shy but beth being beth is very welcoming and shows her the works and they get really close and eventually get together :) i’m happy to request more beffy fics because you’re very right in saying that there ARENT ENOUGH!!! tysm

best decision !

beth mead x arsenal!reader

-

stepping onto the turf, your eyes wandered over to the group of girls who were running around together, passing the ball back and forth in their different groups with looks of either enjoyment or concentration, depending on who you looked at. your heart was beating wildly in your chest and your grip on your water bottle tightened as the man beside you whistled with his fingers in his mouth which quickly grabbed the attention of the arsenal players who looked over in curiosity, all their eyes darting between you and your new manager, jonas eidevall.

today was to be your first day training with your new team, and you were both excited yet nervous about the whole thing.

you weren’t great at meeting new people, blaming it on your shy and quiet demeanour, it usually took awhile for you to warm up to anyone new and come out of your shell so today was a big day for you, for many reasons . you were grateful that jonas had given you this opportunity, signing you onto the arsenal team a couple of weeks back. you loved your old club, the girls you played with were incredible and you had created many long lasting bonds but unfortunately as the years went by, your game time was decreasing and you were no longer satisfied with the minutes you were getting on the pitch.

the bench had become a familiar place and you worried that your talents were being wasted there. so when the offer to sign to arsenal appeared, you all but leaped at the opportunity, excited to spread your potential elsewhere. though of course, despite being eager to join the new club, the goodbyes to your teammates were emotional but they understood why you left and assured you that you made the right decision, no hard feelings.

your thoughts were dismissed as an array of colours clouded your view. the blacks, greens and blues from the arsenal training kits were up front of and centre, matching the new one you had fit yourself into only an hour prior. you were a little intimidated by the many stares you were getting, though none of them were made with malicious intent, some of the girls even sending you a welcoming smile as they sensed your unease which you quickly returned.

“alright girls, our new member is finally here, this is y/n y/l/n and she’s going to be joining us today for training, friday’s game will be her first game with us so i expect you all to welcome her with open arms and ease her into the team as quickly and smoothly as possible please.” jonas’ voice sounded from the side of you, and you felt a little heat rise to your face with all the attention now pointing at you.

a few of the girls piped up with ‘hi’s’ here and ‘hello’s’ there, and you returned them all with a simple wave and a quirk of your lips.

“you can all get your proper introductions later, for now i need you to start working on your drills, so partner up and show y/n she made the right choice coming over here.” he clapped his hands together, and you smiled at the playful jab he had made towards the team, already liking the atmosphere within the coach and squad dynamic.

your nerves came rushing back as soon as he wandered off though, and the girls began to jog off back onto the turf already grabbing onto each other as they called dibs on their partners before others could. you hung back, feeling a little awkward at the bond they all had that you weren’t yet apart of, though you had high hopes it wouldn’t be long before you were there with them. your eyes flickered around as everyone partnered up, feeling a little bit like a loner as it seemed you were the only one without one, but just as you were about to accept the embarrassment, a hand touched your elbow and you spun your head around to see a freckled blonde with gorgeous blue eyes and a beaming smile.

“you wanna partner up, newbie?” her yorkshire accent reached your ears and you perked up at the invitation.

“um, yeah.” you mumbled, your voice coming out quiet before you coughed and spoke again. “yes please, saves me standing on my own like a loser.”

she laughed at that and you smiled, happy to have amused her with your slightly self degrading comment.

“yeah i think we’ve all been there.” she hummed, walking you both to the only available miniature sized goal left. “i’ll pass, you shoot, yeah?”

you nodded in agreement, happy to be in any position as long as you were practicing and learning. you stood a good distance away from the goal post, and awaited beth to get into her spot so she could shoot the ball your way.

she placed the ball down by her feet and glanced your way, the smile that she had first greeted you with still on her face as if it was permanent. “you ready?”

you nodded once again, and so with that she pulled her foot back and kicked the ball with moderate power. you watched as it flew towards you, backing up a little as you quickly predicted where it was going to end up. as soon as it aligned with your foot, you made your move and kicked the ball, watching as it hit the back of the net with ease.

“go on!” the blonde cheered, clapping in approval at the strike you made. “already showing off i see.”

you blushed at the praise, not being able to keep the smile from your face at her genuine appreciation of your skills. you retrieved the ball from the goal and ran to where beth was just stood, the striker moving to do the same and stand in your position.

“now i have to make this or else jonas might kick me off the squad.” she teased, and now it was your turn to laugh at her remark.

“i don’t think he’d ever do that, can’t lose his meado. your fans would start a riot.” you told her, only half joking.

she barked a laugh at that, “i wouldn’t be surprised.”

the training session continued for another two hours, and you stayed partnered up with beth for the majority of it. apart from the last half an hour when you all had to get into groups of four, but beth still remained in your team and you were glad. being the first girl on the squad to start an actual conversation with you, you were clinging onto that warm exterior as you allowed it to bring yourself out of your shell a little bit and mingle with the other two on your team, who happened to be catley and foord.

both of them brought you into the group as if you’d been friends for weeks, no awkward small talk or even worse, awkward silences and that took a lot of weight off your shoulders. though you didn’t doubt the girls would give you any less than a friendly welcome to the squad, you still had your worries that maybe you just wouldn’t mix in with them quite so well, but as the minutes passed you realised that those worries were no more than a silly waste of head space.

-

the next few days passed quickly, each day you’d go into training and instantly just find yourself drawn to beth who seemed just as excited to see you. she’d always bring you into a hug, her hands rubbing comfortingly up and down your back that had your insides tingling with excitement at the act of affection. you couldn’t deny the feelings inside of you that had been building up since you first met the blonde, for some reason you couldn’t get her off your mind.

whenever you were together you were always seeking her out, making sure she was always nearby. you blamed it on the fact she was the first person to accept you into the squad, though the quieter part of you brain knew that it was more than that. she had followed you on instagram when you had returned home on your first day, and after following her back you were ashamed to admit you had stalked her profile and found yourself grinning like a fool at her posts, her sense of humour something that had drawn you in from the get go.

but other than that it was her effortless beauty that had you hooked. you had yet to see her with more than a bit of mascara on her lashes, and you were taken aback by how great she looked. even after a day of training, all red faced and sweaty you were still admiring her from afar. you could only imagine how incredible she’d look if you ever got the honour to see her all dolled up, the photos on her social media’s never did justice so you just had to wait for the opportunity yourself.

over the days your bond with the other girls had grown stronger too. three girls specifically. caitlin, steph and alessia were your definite best friends on the team (aside from beth of course), you just seemed to mesh well with the trio, they were lovely people and you all shared the same humour and energy so it just made you all work so well as a group.

and your relationships with the other girls were slowly building too, you even had the pleasure of meeting leah williamson which you look back on now and cringe at how awkward you were around the arsenal legend. she had shown up at training one day, ready to begin easing herself back in with the girls ahead of her big comeback for the team and you had bumped into her in the gym. the blonde looked at you unsure, and you guessed she hadn’t realised there was anyone new joining the team. but unsurprisingly, beth was there to save you and introduce you both.

you were sure you looked like an idiot, stood there mouth opening and closing like a fish as you struggled to find words. it wasn’t everyday you met people you had looked up to for years, and to not only be playing along side her (when she was recovered of course) but also have the chance to build somewhat of a friendship with the defender was enough to have your brain short circuiting. you were just glad beth was there to keep the conversation flowing.

now, you stood on the pitch ready to play in your first game officially as an arsenal member. you were incredibly nervous, but determined to prove your spot in the squad, wanting to show jonas that he had made the right choice when he seeked you out. and it wasn’t just jonas you wanted to prove yourself to today, it was the girls and the fans that were all anticipating your debut. you didn’t want to let anyone down, including yourself.

you jumped in your spot, kicking your legs out whilst letting out a deep breath, trying to warm up whilst simultaneously attempting to decrease any anxious thoughts. you watched as the girls did the same, some passing you and sending exciting smiles and encouraging words as they passed. it wasn’t until she appeared, did you take the encouragement seriously.

“you’re gonna do good, yeah? you’ve been great in training just do the same as you did then.” beth patted your shoulder, “act like the crowd and cameras aren’t here, just focus on us and the ball.”

you nodded, rolling your neck with a sigh. “yeah, okay. i’ll keep that in mind.”

the lioness smiled, turning so now she was walking backwards to her spot whilst keeping her eyes on you. “i believe in you.”

and with that, she sent a quick wink your way that would’ve had your cheeks burning if it didn’t feel like it was minus ten degrees out, before she turned on her foot and your eyes met the ponytail that swayed with her body movement.

you didn’t have too much time to dwell on the whole thing, the whistle blew and all the players took a knee, before it blew again and the ball was kicked to pelova, and the game began there.

-

fifty-seven minutes flew by faster than you had imagined. the first half was a frustrating one for arsenal, with the opposing team scoring two goals and your team yet to have scored one, you were all given a stern talking to at halftime by jonas, who ended the talk with some words of encouragement in hopes that it would help you bounce back and play at the best of your ability. katie had given some words of her own, being the captain of your team for the match she was obligated to make sure you were all in the right headspace, there was no more room for mistakes, you had to go out and score before it was too late and you lost a valuable three points that could push you higher up on the table.

and you must’ve had the luck of the irish, because all of a sudden your team was on fire.

the ball stayed on your side of the pitch for the majority of the second half so far, always at the feet of a player in red, being kept far from anyone who wanted it with intentions of shooting it at your goal. you jumped for joy when in the fiftieth minute stina scored a long goal, the ball hitting the back of the net, just grazing the goalkeepers hand. you all ran to the swedish player, with grins on your faces. now, you only needed two more goals for the win.

and the second opportunity came only two minutes later, when you earned a corner kick that beth took, the ball finding its way nicely into the penalty box where you all stood, but it was lia who had the best chance. she jumped on her feet and headed the ball into the goal, the crowd erupting into loud cheers and applause, feeling more optimistic now that your team was levelled. after celebrating her goal, your team again running to the goal scorer with grins and high fives, you all ran back on the pitch now more determined than ever to win this game.

now here you were, 57:22 on the clock and the ball falling at your feet after a pass from caitlin. you quickly scoped your surroundings, working out who was being covered and who wasn’t. you held back for a few seconds, not being able to find a free player, beginning to panic a little as your opponents began closing in on you. but from afar, a hand raised and you only took a quick second glance to see it was beth on the side of the pitch, with lots of open space and ready to take the ball on. so, without any hesitation you pulled back your foot and shot the ball through the sky, past players who watched it go, too high to try and take with a headshot.

the ball landed just an inch away from beth’s foot, a perfect ball that she didn’t waste as she took the shot at the goal instantly.

you stood back in anticipation, watching the ball fly through the sky, past players who jumped up to defend the ball and stop it from reaching the goal but to your joy, they missed it by inches and the ball secured itself in the top corner of the net. once again the gooners who had been watching with extreme apprehension launched up in their seats and cried out in joy at the added goal, leaving your team now leading by 3-2.

beth’s hands pumped in the air as she ran to the fans, mirroring their reaction and cheering as loudly as she could. she was quickly followed by the rest of the girls, who jumped on her and pulled her into hugs, all bearing huge grins. you made your way over, being one of the last to reach the pile of girls but were quickly accepted into the team celebration with different sets of hands finding their way on your back and waist.

as the huddle began to separate, getting ready to continue play and hopefully score another one or two goals before full time, it was just you, beth and a few others who remained at the sideline. beth’s eyes landed on yours and her grin widened even further, if that was even possible. she didn’t waste another second and pulled you to her, her hands clapping down with gentle force on your back as she whooped in your ear.

“beautiful ball! couldn’t have done it without ya.” she praised, pulling back from the hug so she was now inches from your face.

you smiled, elated that the ball had perfectly reached beth, but more than that, you couldn’t get over the immense joy on her face as she looked at you as if you had told her she had won the lottery. you didn’t want to pull away from her intense gaze, her blue eyes shining bright under the lights that made her look even more captivating than usual. your stomach fizzled with butterflies when you caught her eyes lowering, flickering down to your lips that were parted and back up to your eyes again, the whole interaction happening so quickly you wondered if you had imagined it.

but when you pulled apart, much to both of your disappointments, your eyes met steph and she sent you a knowing look. her lips quirked upwards as she looked between the pair of you, and you knew, she knew. you had feelings for beth.

luckily the aussie didn’t stay to make any teasing comments, instead she just cocked her head to the side, signalling that you should get back in position which you did immediately, not wanting to slow the game down any further. but when you looked back at beth, you saw she was still watching you with an expression you couldn’t quite read, but it didn’t look negative in the slightest.

she sent you one last breathtaking smile, and with that, the game resumed and just silently prayed that your now racing mind wouldn’t affect the last thirty-or-so minutes of game time.

-

the final whistle blew and your team erupted, finishing the game with a 5-2 lead was definitely something to proud of, especially since you had started the second half two-nil down.

you all collided with one another, the whole thing being a blur really as you were surrounded by the whole team, even the girls on the bench had come up to join in on the joyful huddle. you were engaging in hugs here, high fives there, you even got a few kisses on your cheek and a pat on your back. it was safe to say the team was in very high spirits after the win, and you were being applauded for your assist to beth that gave your team the advantage. it was one of the best feelings, knowing your team was proud of your performance during your first game with them, and now you just had to keep playing how you did today and surely your name would move up the ranks.

“hey, we’re all planning on heading to jen’s for a little after game celebration, you down?” alessia had approached you as you all began making your way back into the tunnel, and you considered the offer.

it would be your first time hanging out with the girls out of work, and it sounded like some great bonding time that you would be stupid to pass up. so with a quick shrug, you nodded.

“yeah, sounds good. she’s alright with me coming?”

you felt an elbow playfully nudge into your arm from the opposite side of you, and you couldn’t say you were very much surprised when you saw who it was.

“don’t be silly. course she is.” beth’s voice sounded over the rest of the girls walking by you. “so you better be there or else i’ll kidnap you myself and force you there.”

you rolled your eyes in amusement, leaning into her embrace when she slid an arm over your shoulder, bringing you into her side.

“i’ll try my best.”

-

arriving at the beattie residence, you were instantly greeted by the woman herself who ushered you into the house with giddiness, clearly she had already had a drink or two in her system which was obvious by her lopsided grin and inability to stop talking as she led you inside. you tried to nod along to her ramblings best as you could, but she was talking so fast you kind of gave up in the end, relieved when you entered dining room full of the other girls who quickly pulled you into hugs, saving you from the one-on-one encounter.

sat at the table was alessia, victoria, caitlin, beth and leah. a few of the other girls were lingering around, katie and lia sat talking on the couch, viv and kyra you could see stood in the kitchen, watching steph as she seemed to be recounting a story with the way her hands were moving wildly with her words. there was music playing though it wasn’t too loud, and there were snacks littered around the house, albeit most of them had been already eaten.

you sat down at the last empty seat at the table, which happened to be between beth and vic, the dutch woman quickly handing you a beverage.

“you’re two drinks behind, time to catch up slacker.” she told you, tapping the top of the can and you rolled your eyes playfully.

“give her chance vic.” beth laughed, “she hasn’t even taken her jacket off yet.”

vic held her hands up in mock defence, “i just want to see if the newbie can outdrink any of us, that’s all.”

“god when is that nickname gonna go away.” you grumbled whilst you opened the can, eyes flashing over to beth who watched your movements. “i blame you for this.”

“me? why me?” she cried out, pointing her finger at herself in question.

“because that’s what you called me when we first met! remember?” you asked her, amused by her reaction. “and since you said it, it’s stuck. how long until i’m no longer a newbie?”

you honestly weren’t that phased by the name, you knew it was only coming from a place of love and that there was no venom behind it, but it was fun to tease the girls, especially beth who had the best reactions.

“i’d give it another few weeks, alessia had to cope with it for about a month so.” caitlin’s voice trailed off as she looked up to the ceiling in thought, “i’d say three more weeks?”

alessia nodded along with the aussie’s guess, “yeah that sounds about right.”

you all laughed at that, and you began drinking from your can as you all found yourselves floating into conversation. you talked about anything and everything, plans for the weekend, what leah had attempted to make for dinner the previous night, how excited vic was for the next season of her favourite show, the game you had just won. chat flowed so easily amongst you all and you couldn’t help the smile that had permanently etched itself onto your face, looking around at everyone you couldn’t believe how easily it had been settling in at this new club.

“what’re you so smiley about?” a yorkshire accent whispered in your ear, and you turned your head to see beth had leaned in to talk more privately.

the newfound close proximity had your heart beating in your chest just a little faster, if you were to lean forward just a few inches more your lips would be on hers. you pushed the thought to the back of your mind as you realised beth was still patiently waiting for a reply, with a raised brow.

“just happy to be here, that’s all.” you confessed.

beth’s face lit up at your answer, clearly happy with it. “good. i’m glad, we’re lucky to have you with us, you’re a proper gunner now.”

not having anything else left to say, you kept your eyes on her for a second longer, admiring the way she stared back at you with a look of fascination that you weren’t used to receiving. you were conflicted. a part of you was glad you were in a room filled with people, if it was just the two of you, you’d no doubt be a blushing, squirming mess with the intensity of her gaze that still had yet to dissipate from you.

but then the other part wished it was just you two, alone. maybe things would happen, things you had been thinking about nonstop for the last three days now. like maybe she’d confess she liked you, that she felt the same way and couldn’t get you out of her mind. then she’d kiss you, it’d be timid and gentle as you both got used to the way the other moved, but you’d eventually ease into it and want to do it for the rest of the night. and the day after that, and the day after that. everyday if you could.

but alas, that was not going to happen anytime soon. so with one last smile towards beth, you finally tore your eyes from her and began to refocus on the conversation that had been ongoing, this time with jen who had sat herself down on leah’s lap.

-

the night flew by, before you knew it the time on your phone read 11:47pm and you knew you’d have to get yourself home soon before it got too late. some of the girls had already left, the only ones remaining being steph, beth, leah, katie and caitlin. you decided you would be the next to leave as you stood from your spot on the couch, where you had moved to when you were called over by katie who wanted your opinion on something she was debating with lia.

jen watched you stand and collect your jacket, a groan of disappointment catching the attention of the others.

“not you as well newbie, come on! when did everyone get so old? you’ve got at least another hour in you.” she complained, as she had done everytime someone announced their departure.

“i know, i know.” you said, “i’m sorry but if i don’t go now there’s a risk i’ll pass out on your couch.”

“no bother, i’ll even get you a blanket if you need.”

you grinned, shaking your head whilst you retrieved up your purse from the dining room table. “as lovely as that sounds, i think i’ll get a better nights sleep if i’m in my own bed. maybe next time?”

jen waved you off, grumbling under her breath but you took no offence to her drunken mannerisms.

“how’re you getting home?”

you looked up from your phone as beth approached you, placing her half finished drink down on the table.

“oh, just gonna get an uber. same way i got here.” you shrugged, opening the app on your phone.

“why don’t i give you a lift home? saves you some money and waiting around.”

you paused as you looked at her again, “are you sure? i don’t want to make you leave early or anything.”

she shook her head instantly, diminishing any worries lingering in your mind that you’d be cutting her night short. “it’s okay i was planning on leaving myself anyways, jenn’s on her fifth drink she’s gonna start getting soppy in a minute. nobody wants to be around for that.”

you giggled at the playful jab, your eyes wandering over to jen who as beth said, was opening her next drink. you almost lost it at the worried glance steph and leah shared but managed to hold it in, instead turning your attention back to beth who was now gathering her own belongings just as you had.

you both bid farewell to the remaining four, and jen who was even more upset when she realised beth was going to be leaving too, going on another short rant about how all her friends are getting old, which entertained you to no end. you missed the way the girls all leaned in, whispering and giggling as you and beth left together, wondering if either of you were gonna stop beating around the bush and finally have a chat about your feelings that were obvious to everyone but the both of you.

you climbed into the passenger seat of beth’s car, telling the woman your address whilst you clicked your seatbelt into place at the same time, both of you happy to find out that you only actually lived a five minute drive from beth’s home.

“means i can come over whenever i want.” she had said, making your imagination run wild at the thought of her showing up at your house so you could hang out together.

the drive wasn’t too long, the journey passing by even faster than expected with beth’s great company as the two of you chatted the whole way, sharing lingering looks a few times throughout. you were almost upset when you pulled up outside your familiar driveway, knowing you probably wouldn’t be seeing beth until monday since you all had the weekend off.

you grabbed your purse, before unbuckling your seatbelt and making a move to get out of the vehicle.

“thank you for the lift, i appreciate it.” you began your goodbyes, hand moving to find the handle of the car door.

“don’t worry about it. i’ll feel a lot better going to bed tonight knowing i watched you walk through your door.” she replied, and you smiled at the heartwarming comment.

you couldn’t comprehend how close you had grown in such a short amount of time.

“well i guess i’ll see you monday then?”

“actually, i was wondering if um.” the blonde paused, swallowing as her eyes began to drift throughout the car, a huge contrast to her usual cool and calm demeanour.

“yeah?” you asked, furrowing your brows.

“i’ve just been thinking, and you can always so no! don’t feel like you have to say yes, there’ll be no hard feelings i swear. i’d just be so annoyed with myself if i went home today knowing i missed this opportunity to ask and-“

“beth, breathe.” you laughed lightly, watching the poor woman ramble on without taking a breath, “you know you can ask me anything, yeah?”

she took in a deep breath and nodded her head, seeming to gather her thoughts for a moment before she turned back to you. now her eyes stayed on you this time as she spoke with more composure.

“i was just wondering if you’d maybe like to meet up, tomorrow or sunday i’m not fussed. i’d like to take you out somewhere, like … on a date?”

your heart pounded in your chest once you brain had registered what beth had just asked you, not expecting a question like that to come from her in a million years. not right now anyways. your mouth fell slightly agape, your grip on the door handle faltering, whilst you attempted to come up with some form of response before it began to get awkward.

but it took you longer than beth liked, so she retreated in her spot and shook her head in disappointment. “it’s okay, i get it. i just thought i’d ask, i don’t even know if you like girls! i’m sorry i-“

you cut her off once again, this time with a more physical interruption rather than verbal. you surged forward, a random fluke of confidence overtaking your usually timid self that you wanted to act on before it left you again. you grabbed ahold of the blondes face at either side, shutting her up mid sentence just in time for your lips to collide with her own with urgency.

her lips were soft against yours, and you could taste the strawberry chapstick you had seen her reapplying a few times during the night as you relaxed into the display of affection. it had taken her a second to kiss back, obviously not expecting you to be so forward, especially after she was so sure you were about to reject her. but once she did, it made the kiss even more enjoyable, her lips worked against yours as if you’d done this before, several times.

you were half enticed to take the kiss a step further, with how good it felt you weren’t wanting to part anytime soon. but when a car drove past, it’s headlights shining through your eyelids, you were made aware of the fact that you were both still very much sat outside of your house, in her car, where anyone could peek in and see you making out with the footballer.

so, reluctantly you pulled back, breathing heavily as you fought to reclaim all the oxygen in your lungs that had ran out during the kiss.

“well.” beth breathed, a smile now working its way onto her slightly swollen lips. “i wasn’t expecting that.”

you both fell into a round of laughter, both just as shocked at how the night had turned around. you never imagined that waking up today, you would end the night by kissing the arsenal striker after she had asked you on a date.

“it’s a yes by the way, if it wasn’t already obvious.”

“hmm?”

“i’d love to go on a date with you beth.”

that noticeably cheered up the woman immensely, she perked up in her seat and the smile you had been obsessing over recently doubled in size. she reached over the console and grabbed ahold of your hand, bringing the back of it to her face so she could press a gentle peck to your knuckles.

“great. i’ll message you tomorrow and we can plan it, yeah?” she said, and you nodded in agreement.

“sounds like a plan.”

with that, you reached for your purse and turned to leave once again, this time less disheartened about having to abandon the woman beside you now that you knew you’d be back together sooner rather than later.

you climbed out, shutting the door behind you before you turned to lean a tad through the open window. “get home safe.”

“i will, don’t worry. i’ll message you when i’m in.”

“yes please do.” you smiled gratefully, “i’ll see you later.”

“bye gorgeous.”

your cheeks burned at the compliment, already liking the turn in your relationship. beth noticed the darker shade in your face and laughed, making you tutt in faux offence as you turned your back on her.

“hey now! none of that. if you can’t handle something as simple as that then you’re gonna hate what i give you on our date.”

“as long as i’m getting fed free food at the same time, i don’t think i’ll care too much.”

again, the blonde laughed and you revelled in how much she seemed to enjoy your humour, the moment taking you back to when you first met her, when you had managed to make her laugh within the first ten minutes.

it was safe to say, signing over to arsenal was easily the best decision you had made in your entire life.

[natigail]

I've seen the rise, the fall and the rebirth of DanAndPhilGAMES. Honestly, I cannot believe we have arrived at this day and they obviously had to announce it in the most exaggerated and hilarious way. It's so them, and I am still trying to come to terms with the fact that we're going to get gaming videos by Dan and Phil post coming out.

I had just started watching Dan and Phil properly in the summer of 2014 and just a couple of months later, the very first video on the gaming channel dropped. Since then, the regular gaming channel videos have been such a huge comfort for me and so many others. Then came the hiatus, an indefinitely decision that caught the channel in limbo. It's made sense, in many ways leaving 2018 and entering 2019 spelled an important shift for the boys.

They retired several of their old projects, even pinof, and started to separate the entity of "Dan and Phil" and as such the gaming channel also had to go. I was gutted to see it go, but I trusted the boys were doing what they needed. And in the years that's followed, I've kept a small hope that it was never quite dead until they definitively said so. Hell, Phil had recently mentioned checking to see if Dil on the Sims save was okay, and we knew they still had that cursed Dil Howlter head from TATINOF somewhere in their nostalgia pile.

Today they used that very papier-mâché head again. The motherfucker rose from the grave and called the boys daddies, which honestly had me pausing and just doubling over in laughter at their horrified faces. And let's not even talk about the tweet an hour before the video cordially inviting us, as if it was a fucking wedding we were about to attend!

Dan and Phil are nothing if not extra, and I love them so much for it. It's been over nine years that I've followed along with their content and lives, and tonight just proved that I will never be dragged from the phandom. The instant surge of excitement, anticipation and a little dread upon seeing the invitation tweet and the video thumbnail still got me like I got into the boys yesterday. It's still so palpable in my chest even now, and I cannot stop smiling.

The gaming channel is and has always been full of comfort content for me. Dan and Phil know it too. They put it in the video, they put it in the video description, and just the way they handled this whole announcement all radiates that they're so aware of it. They know we've been here, waiting patiently, until they were ready to come back to it.

I would have accepted it if they had really decided to kill the channel, but man, oh man, I am delighted that it instead has come back from the grave. Risen with static flutter and a menacing Sims character who's story isn't quite over yet.

We get to have the regular banter back, but now with no filter at all. They don't have to conceal parts of themselves that they weren't ready to share, even if the gaming channel always felt more open and intimate.

I am extremely ready to parasocially see two domestic nerds laugh, bicker, scream and make questionable noises. I just know I will be right there besides them. Thank you to Dan and Phil for bringing back our comfort channel. It's a gift and we won't forget it.

[logyisthemaincharacter]

Shopping sprees & sweet treats

Series link

A/n: I'll be trying to post daily until the fic is done. Spent all morning writing this. I hope y'all enjoy it.

As I hop into Jack's car, Jack's dog excitedly wags her tail, clearly thrilled to be joining the outing. The car is filled with a mix of anticipation and happiness, as we set off on our mission to stock up on goodies for the day.

"You brought your dog with us today." I motion to the tiny dog in the backseat. "Where was she last night?"

"Oh, Ginger! I left her with Urban. Didn't wanna risk the fact that you might be scared of dogs."

"Not at all! I love dogs." I lean back to pet Ginger, which she warmly accepts.

The streets are still waking up, with a few early birds out and about. The cool morning breeze brushes against my face as Jack expertly maneuvers through the quiet roads. The gentle hum of the engine provides a soothing soundtrack to our journey.

Ginger sits in the backseat, her tail wagging furiously as she peers out the window, taking in the sights and sounds of the world passing by. Her infectious energy fills the car, bringing an extra dose of joy to the ride.

As we drive along, the sun begins to rise, painting the sky with vibrant hues of orange and pink. The soft morning light streams through the windows, casting a warm glow over everything. It's like being in a magical bubble, just me, Jack, Ginger, and the open road.

The car ride is filled with laughter, as Jack and I share stories, jokes, and maybe even a few impromptu sing-alongs. Ginger occasionally chimes in with her adorable doggy noises, adding to the cheerful atmosphere.

When we arrive at the grocery store, Ginger's excitement reaches peak levels. Her tail wags so vigorously that it seems like she might take flight! Jack parks the car, and we all step out, ready to conquer the aisles.

Jack grabs a cart moving ahead of Ginger and I. I grab a cart of my own and pick Ginger up, putting her in the small part at the top along with my bag. She makes herself comfortable and closes her eyes.

"Seems like all the excitement tired her out." I run my hand over her fur as she drifts off to sleep.

Jack chuckles and walks deeper into the store. I follow him down one of the aisles, admiring the view from behind.

His tall stature and well-defined muscles give him a confident presence that's hard to resist. It's like he's a work of art, a perfect combination of strength and grace. Just the thought of being close to him, feeling his strong embrace, sends shivers down my spine.

He has this intense focus that's hard to miss. He moves through the aisles with purpose, carefully selecting each item on his list. It's like he's in his own little world, fully immersed in the task at hand. I can see the determination in his eyes as he compares prices, reads labels, and makes thoughtful choices. He's not one to rush or make hasty decisions. Jack takes his time, making sure he gets exactly what he needs. It's impressive to witness his dedication and attention to detail, even in something as simple as grocery shopping, while I just follow him, grabbing random things that look good.

Our last stop is at the fruits and vegetables. This time, I actually pay to everything I select, "You know, I did my shopping yesterday."

"So you woke up unnecessarily early to accompany me?"

"I just thought it would be nice outing. It's not really that fun to shop alone." I add a tray of strawberries to the cart.

"Then what are you buying since you've bought all your groceries yesterday?" He furrows his brows, weighing a bunch of carrots.

"Extra snacks, unnecessary foods I haven't tried yet, more ice cream."

He stops in his tracks and looks at me with wide eyes, "Hold on, you eat ice cream in the winter?"

"Haven't you heard? Ice cream is way better in the winter." I giggle and turn around, continuing my search for the best blueberries. "It also helps to make your heart immune to any emotions."

Jack's reaction is priceless! His face lights up with a mixture of confusion, amusement, and intrigue. He raises an eyebrow and gives me this playful smirk, like he's trying to figure out if I'm joking or being serious.

After a while, he actually decides to play along, "Wait, for real? Ice cream is the secret to emotional invincibility? Sign me up! After all these years, I thought it was a lie."

"No way, Jack! You're in on the secret, too? Ice cream as the ultimate emotion shield? This is insane!" I burst out in laughter, satisfied that he's entertained by my silly theory.

The handful of people around give us curious looks, wondering what's got us so entertained. But hey, who can resist a good laugh, especially this early in the morning? I'm smiling from ear to ear, appreciating his wit and comedic timing.

He takes a peek in my cart and glances up at me, coming up with an idea, "How about when I drop you off at home, we can test it out together?"

"I was just about to ask, but you beat me to it."

"Are you really sure, though?" He smiles hesitantly. "Isn't it too cold?"

"Jack, you'll love it! And if you don't, there's plenty of hot chocolate at my place."

"You can be glad I like you, or else I wouldn't even have thought this through."

"Ooh, you like me." I tease him, parking my cart beside him.

"I shouldn't have made that public, should I?"

"Nope! You'll hear about it forever." A grin spreads across my face as we start walking toward checkout.

If only he knew how much I like him. It's not just his music that has me hooked. There's something about him that draws me in on a deeper level. I find myself liking Jack for who he is as a person and the way he makes me feel in his presence. I can't quite explain the connection, but I know it's something worth exploring. I just hope he's willing to explore it with me.

"Jack?" I look down at the furry, orange ball in my cart.

"Hmm?" He turns his head to me, listening intently.

"She's not gonna be cranky when I pick her up, right?" I push the cart to the first open checkout point I see, still keeping my eyes on the small dog. "I think it's better if you handle her. She barely knows me, and I don't want to ruin our relationship already."

He lets out a chuckle, "Let's pay first before we think of sorting that out."

"It's actually not that bad. It's just hella cold," Jack puts the empty bowl down on the coffee table.

I grin victoriously, grabbing the empty bowls, getting up to go to the kitchen, "You just have to get used to it. I'd be glad to know that I'm the cause of your new habit."

I switch the kettle on and grab 2 mugs.

"Clay and I stalked you last night. You're quite an influencer, aren't you?" I can hear the humor in his voice.

"At least I try to be." I shrug, leaning against the counter. "Wait, how did you even find me on social media?"

"Mom babbled about it over the phone the other day. Said you mentioned it briefly."

"If you wanted to get dirt on me, you could've just asked. I'm sure I can provide more information about my life than the internet." I fold my arms, smiling curiously.

Part of me is flattered that he took the time to check out my posts and pictures. It makes me wonder what caught his attention and made him want to know more about me. But at the same time, I can't help but feel a little bit invaded, you know? Like, why would they go through all that trouble?

I guess it's a fine line between curiosity and privacy. I mean, we all share bits and pieces of our lives online, but it's different when someone actually admits to looking through it all. Especially you're celebrity crush. This definitely sparks a lot of questions in my mind. Overall, I'm still trying to process Jack's revelation.

"I must say, your TikTok account was the most enjoyable." He leans his head back on the couch.

"Oh no!" I cover my face in embarrassment. "Tell me you didn't watch everything."

"Oh, we sure did. I even liked a few. I had no idea you were such a big Jack Harlow fan."

My cheeks heat up, "Well, yes. I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"It's okay, really. At least you haven't asked for a picture or went full on fangirl."

"At first, I thought I was gonna freak out, but you're really comfortable to talk with."

When the water is done boiling, I fill the mugs with rich, creamy hot chocolate and add a generous dollop of whipped cream on top. I sprinkle some chocolate shavings for that extra touch of indulgence. The aroma of the warm chocolate fills the air, making my mouth water in anticipation.

Carrying the mugs back to where Jack is, I find him sitting on the floor, his eyes twinkling with excitement.

He looks up at me with a mischievous grin and says, "I thought it would be fun to have a little picnic right here on the floor." I can't help but laugh at his adorable idea. So, I join him on the floor, and we turn it into a cozy little spot.

I place the mugs of hot chocolate on the coffee table, "I'm glad you don't think I'm crazy."

"Like I said earlier, I like you." He nudges my arm. "And would I be sitting here trying your crazy ice cream suggestion if I thought you were crazy?"

"I guess not." I fidget with my hands. "You don't seem to be in a hurry, though. I mean, aren't your friends coming over later? You have to get your place ready."

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're chasing me away."

"No, I'm not chasing you away at all. I'm just wondering."

As we both take a moment to enjoy the creamy goodness of the hot chocolate, I can't help but feel a sense of comfort and relaxation. The mugs are nestled in our hands, radiating warmth, and the sweet aroma of chocolate fills the air.

"You're not seeing someone, right?" His voice is filled with nervousness as he looks into my eyes, hoping for a positive response.

With a smile on my face, I take a sip of my hot chocolate, savoring the rich, velvety taste. All I do is shake my head.

"Okay. Do you have plans for next Friday?"

"Not that I know of, no." I try to hide my smile, knowing where he's getting at.

"I was wondering if you'd like to go on a date with me." He puts his mug down and scratches the back of his neck.

As I set my mug down, I meet Jack's gaze. I appreciate his honesty and the courage it took for him to ask me out. Even though I'm the last person I thought he'd ever want to date. "I wasn't expecting that, but I'd love to go out with you, Jack. What did you have in mind?"

"Well, I was thinking we could have dinner at my place. I'd like to try out some new stuff. After dinner, we could take a stroll through the park." He licks his lips.

My anticipation starts to grow, "That sounds like an amazing idea."

I can't help but smile as I think about the possibility of spending time with Jack and getting to know him on a deeper level. It's a thrilling feeling to have someone express interest in me, especially someone as charming, attractive, and famous as Jack.

But along with the excitement, there's also a hint of nervousness. I want everything to go well, and I hope that we'll have a great romantic connection. It's natural to feel a bit anxious when stepping into the unknown, but I'm determined to embrace the experience with an open heart.

I find myself daydreaming about the dinner and what he plans to cook. The thought of taking a leisurely stroll through the park afterward, hand in hand, fills me with even more warmth.

I can't wait to see where this date takes us.

[lmh8903]

Benny Rodriguez x Reader Pt 1.

Lil intro: Hi, my name is Y/N McClennan, I'm the older sister of Alan McClennan, but everyone calls him YeahYeah. I am 17 years old, a junior, and I have the best boyfriend ever, Phillips.  I love baseball. I used to play at the Sandlot with the boys, but when I started dating Phillips, the boys got really pissed at me. It's been about a year since I've touched a baseball or even talked to my old friends, which was when I started dating Phillips. This has been incredibly hard since the boys have been my best friends for as long as I can remember. However, the only thing  I can really do about it now is to accept the fact that I broke their trust. Especially Benny's. 

Actual Story: Y/N's POV

I was incredibly excited for today. It was finally the official last day of my junior year. After a long and anticipated wait, school just got out, and now it's time for one of my last summers in the San Fernando Valley.

Of course, as part of my everyday routine, I walked up to Phillips's locker. "Hey," I said.

"Hey, baby," Phillips replied as he kissed my cheek. He grabbed my hand, and I gladly took it, but out of the corner of my eye, I noticed something unusual. Benny was looking at us, and it was clear he wasn't too thrilled.

This made me a little upset and curious because Benny and I were best friends for almost as long as I can remember. The day that our friendship ended was the day that I told him I started dating Phillips, which will be a year in two days. Everyone except Scotty and my brother rebelled to get me off their team, and we haven't talked since.

I still remember how he looked when I told him. He didn't look pissed off, he just looked sad and disappointed. The pain in his eyes, the betrayal. I understand that he and Phillips don't get along, but as my best friend, I was hoping he would have been supportive. I didn't realize I was thinking so much until Phillips cut me off.

"You okay babe?" Phillips asked.

"Yeah, of course, I'm fine," I replied with a slight smile.

He turned around, clearly knowing I was lying. Benny was still looking at us. "You're looking at Rodriguez?" Phillips asked.

"Oh, um yeah. I just wanted to make sure he saw this," I said as I passionately kissed Phillips. I don't even know why I did this. I would've liked to have mended my relationship with Benny, but this just shows that I don't care. How could I be so fucking stupid?

We pulled away when we heard a locker door and a door slam. I looked at where Benny was standing. He was gone. I could tell he was infuriated. I could kind of feel his pain in a way. It was obvious Benny was irritated when he saw us before I made the rash decision of kissing Phillips in front of him. I should have just left it at that.

In all honesty, I've always had a little crush on Benny. The way he is so passionate about baseball, it's pretty hot. Once Benny and I talked about the future, and what we wanted. He made it very clear that he did not have time for a relationship, nor did he want one. I knew at that moment I had to move on. So, I went with someone who had put in the effort of trying to impress me and decided to give him a chance.

I love Phillips, I mean, he's great, and we're super happy, but sometimes I wonder how happy I would be with Benny. I really miss him. After all, he was my best friend. I'm going to talk to Yeah-Yeah when I get home to see if the boys would let me back on the team. They really were the best and most loyal friends a girl could have. And what did I do? I started dating their enemy. Like who does that? Thinking about it now, I see why they kicked me off the team, and I wouldn't blame them if they didn't want to be friends again.

After thinking, Phillips and I start walking to his house. It's only a couple of blocks, so we don't feel the need to drive. It's nice walking with him. It's giving me time to clear my head and push out any doubts that I have.

Phillips then breaks the silence, "Y/N, are you okay? You've been acting weird since we saw Rodriguez." I sigh and reply, "I don't know. I just really miss my friends. I love you, and you know that, but I just wish they would get over it." Phillips responds, "I know you miss them. You also need to understand that, besides Rodriguez, there's an age difference there. They're only 14 and 15. Them being like this is somewhat valid, they're supposed to be immature, you know? Rodriguez, on the other hand, that's just immature." I don't say anything; I just give him a peck on the cheek and smile. We look up to see that we're standing outside his house. We go in, start watching movies, and cuddle.

After we get done hanging out at his house, I kiss Phillips goodbye, get in my car that I drove over to his house before school, and drive home. I start bawling in the car. Phillips made a lot of sense, but it doesn't hurt any less. I reach my driveway, park my car, and then head inside my house. I walk to Yeah-Yeah's room to go talk to him and see how the boys are doing. Once I get to his room, he's not in there. I guess he's still out with them. I then walk to my room and try to go to sleep in order to prevent myself from crying again. 

After struggling to fall asleep for a few hours, I left my bedroom. I look in Yeah-Yeah's room to see if he's home. He's passed out cold. I have no one to talk to currently, so I  walk to the one place I can fully clear my thoughts. 

Lmk if y’all want part 2!! <3

[jackharloww]

Makeup and backstage passes

A/N: Guuys, this is my first ever collab with the one and only, talented @harlowcomehome​ We hope you enjoy it!! I loooove you HCH, this has been so fun!! 

You parked the car outside of the studio and grabbed the big makeup case you’d brought with you. You struggled a bit with taking it out of the car, but with a bit of extra strength, you made it. You had gotten a call a week ago, being asked to be the makeup artist on the set of a music video. You were thrilled at getting an opportunity like this and immediately accepted. The fact that the artist was Jack Harlow made your decision easier. You’d been working as a makeup artist for a while now, working at photoshoots and magazines, but had never gotten such a big job - being a makeup artist to one of the biggest artists was a dream come true. Even though you were confident with your work, you couldn’t help but feel nervous. 

You made your way inside the studio, where you saw a beautiful woman. “Hi my name is Claire. You’re Y/N? right?” she said happily, stretching out her hand for you. You shook her hand and introduced yourself before she showed you to your spot. “You can set everything up. Jack will be here any minute,” She said before running to someone who called her name. 

You set everything up, organizing everything in the place you wanted it, before sitting down on the makeup chair you had set up, scrolling on your phone, waiting for Jack to come. After a few minutes, you heard a lot of voices coming into the studio. You turned around and saw a big group of people. Then you saw Claire talking to Jack, motioning him to where you were. You suddenly got very nervous and quickly stood up, putting your phone in your back pocket. 

“Jack, this is Y/N, and she’ll be doing your makeup for today's video.” 

“Hi, I’m Jack,” he stretched out his hand. “Nice to meet you,” he gave you a big grin.  Your hand was extremely small in comparison to his which made you smile.   

You noticed immediately how calming his presence was. He was laid back and surprisingly really down to earth, which made most of your nerves subside. 

You made small talk as he got into the makeup chair, you noticed instantly just how big he looked compared to it. It was obvious that he was tall but you really hadn’t noticed just how tall, until he was sat down in front of you.  

He watched as you leaned over the sink, throughly washing your hands before approaching him to start. 

“I’m going to put this headband on you so we don’t get anything in your curls” you smiled as you stood in front of him, pushing the headband wrap up under his hair on his forehead. 

Jack smiled at your use of the word “curls” instead of just saying “hair.”  

“You have really nice skin” you complimented without even thinking. “Thank you” he chuckled, trying his best not to blush, “you do too” he smiled.   “I’m going to hydrate your skin first so the makeup sits better and doesn’t look noticeable” you explained and he nodded.  

“So this is your first time on a music video set?” He asked as you fanned his face, to dry the products quicker.  

“Yeah! I’m super excited about it” you smiled as he stared up at you. “I’ve done photo shoots and things like that, but nothing to this level,” you continued.  

“I’ll make sure to make this experience memorable then” Jack winked, and you couldn’t help but smile back. You had always heard that he was flirtatious but being the person he was flirting with, was different.

“can you” you cleared your throat, getting lost in his piercing blue eyes. “uhm, look up” you told him, motioning upwards with your finger. You put some concealer and start to blend lightly with the beauty blender.

"I like how gentle you are," he said softly when you backed away from him, finishing with the concealer. You grabbed the powder brush and turned around to face him. 

"you don't get enough sleep, do you?" you asked him and went in with the powder to set the concealer.

"Is it that obvious?" he chuckled. You gave him a tender smile and shook your head. "You really should sleep more, so you don't burn out"

"You care about me huh?" he smiled, giving you a wink. You returned the smile before turning around, grabbing the small mirror you had on the side.

"There you go, all done" you said proudly, handing him the mirror.

"Damn, you can't even tell I have makeup on," he exclaimed, "You baked me good" he said, still inspecting his face in the mirror. You started laughing, which made him look at you with a cute smile, liking the sound of your laugh. "Isn't that a makeup term" he asked, laughing with you.

“It is, but I didn't bake anything today love" you giggled.

"oh" he let out, handing the mirror to you. The nickname that slipped out making him blush.

"I'll go on tour soon, you know" he said "I'll need a makeup artist on the road" he continued, giving you a big smile. You grabbed the headband and slowly took it off him, fixing some of the curls that was under it. 

Again, he loved how gentle you were with him, the fact that you were being soft with him and his hair made his stomach do flips but he wasn’t ready to admit that.

“Well, I’m available, but no pressure” you smiled as you started to pack things up.

“You’re not staying?” Jack sounded incredibly disappointed.

“I am, I have to stay in case you need a touch up” you explained. “Speaking of“ you walked back over to him making sure everything was blended one more time.

“Just needed one more look?” He teased and you giggled, “I was just making sure I didn’t cover your freckles too much” you shrugged and that made Jack blush for the millionth time today. “You’re one of those people who notice everything huh?” He stood up, getting ready to go to set and you smiled “something like that.”

“Come to set?” Jack asked and you smiled as you followed him. He helped you carry your makeup bags to set. He motioned for you to sit in his chair and you watched as he approached someone you only assumed to be his manager.

You couldn’t make out what he was saying but the fact that she (Neelam) kept looking in your direction told you he really was asking if you could go on tour with him.

Shortly after Jack went to set Neelam approached you with a smile, “do you have a business card?”

You handed her one out of the front pocket of your makeup cases, “here you go!” You smiled nervously and she looked at the card for a moment.

“I’ll have to look through the budget for tour, but if we have the money and the room, you’d be interested right? I just want to make sure before I get his hopes up” she laughed and you did too.

“Yeah! I’d love to” you reassured her.

“I don’t know what kind of magic is in those makeup cases but he’s definitely under your spell” she teased and you couldn’t help but butterflies in your stomach.

“Good to know” you smiled, “good to know.”

---------------------------

taglist:@hoodharlow , @pianoisland​, @itsyagirljaz , @neon-lights-and-glitter , @heavyhitterheaux​

[lavenderdreams22]

Impossible - Fenrys x Reader

Request: Omg! The fic with Fenrys is so good! Can you write another one? Like they have an argument?

A/N: I hope this is what you were looking for, anon! There really aren’t any warnings… maybe some OOC moments for some characters, some suggestive themes? I haven’t finished Kingdom of Ash yet, so if some details are wrong, sorry!! Also, very quickly edited.

*****

The beach. You had always loved the beach. But today, the sight of the waves crashing against the shore brought a sour taste to your mouth.

Fenrys had been gone for about a week on a mission assigned to him by Aelin. You were glad that he had been given something to do. He was becoming restless, and you feared that he may tear the walls of your shared home apart if he was left to his own devices for much longer.

No, him leaving wasn’t what had made you so upset with him… It was his return. He had gone directly to Aelin to give his report, which was to be expected, but then he had disappeared. You had searched for him, hoping to say hello and spend a few moments with him before you, yourself, had to leave for a week.

The beach was the last place you could think of to check, and he wasn’t here.

You threw your arms up as a particularly nasty wave crashed against the distant rocks. Even the North Sea seemed to be taunting you.

Turning on your heel, you stomped back towards your horse.

“Fine…” you mumbled to yourself. “If he doesn’t want to see me, then he won’t.”

*****

You found Elide waiting with Lorcan and the wagon that the three of you would be taking on your travels.

“Surprised lover boy isn’t joining you.” Lorcan spoke, drawing you from your thoughts.

“No idea where he is.” You shrugged, climbing in and turning to offer Elide your hand. “Let’s go before we lose anymore daylight.”

“You don’t want to say goodbye?” Elide asked, accepting the hand you offered to help her up.

“He didn’t bother saying hello.” You shrugged. “So, he doesn’t get a goodbye.”

Lorcan snorted and rounded the wagon to take his own seat. The two of you got settled as he took over the reigns. With a nod from Elide, the three of you were off.

“Are you okay?” Elide asked, patting your knee.

“I have never been better.” You plastered a fake grin on your lips that you hoped was convincing.

The look she shot you said that it was exactly the opposite.

*****

Dorian’s castle hadn’t changed since the last time you had been here. Chaol greeted you at the door, a warm smile on his lips as he pulled you into a hug. You searched around for Yrene, but he shook his head.

“She’s tending to the baby.” Chaol could barely contain his excitement.

“I will have to visit before we leave.” You said into his shoulder.

“Yes, you will. Yrene will have your head if you don’t.” He released you and you nodded. “Dorian is in the throne room.”

You patted his shoulder in thanks as you passed.

The greetings shared between the other two and Chaol were muffled as you rounded the corner. The double doors that led to the throne room had been left wide open, and Dorian sat atop his throne, examining his nails.

You cleared your throat as you entered, and his head snapped up. The grin that pulled at his lips was contagious, and, before you could stop it, you were grinning back.

“Hello, Y/N.” He strode to you in a few steps and pulled you into a bone crushing hug.

“Hello, your majesty.” You made to bow, but he laughed, pulling you back up by the arm.

“Seems we have much to discuss, old friend.” Dorian gestured towards the door behind you. “Shall we?”

*****

The time spent with Dorian was short lived, and you found yourself dreading the ride home.

You knew once you arrived in Terrasen, Fenrys would be there. He would demand why you hadn’t said goodbye, and there would surely be an argument.

“You seemed pretty sure of your decision to leave without saying goodbye a week ago.” Lorcan said, snapping the reigns.

The horses moved with a jolt, and you reached out an arm to steady Elide. You weren’t sure how Lorcan always seemed to know what you were thinking.

“I was.” You responded, “but now I’m not so sure it was the right choice.”

*****

Dawn had just broken when the three of you arrived. The wheels and hooves seemed to echo in the quiet streets of Terrasen, and you groaned.

“Can’t we just walk the rest of the way? We’re surely waking up every living thing from here to Eyllwe.” You said, crossing your arms over your chest.

“What do you suggest I do? Leave the horses in the middle of town?” Lorcan snapped.

You rolled your eyes, and Elide giggled at the two of you. You and Lorcan always fought, though neither of you wished bad on the other.

“We will be there soon.” She said with a shake of her head. “Then you two can get a good nights rest.”

You knew he’d hear you, that he had been waiting for the sound of hooves on stone. You could practically feel his anger down your mating bond. With a shudder, you wrapped your arms around yourself.

*****

You had been right, not that you had doubted yourself. As you pulled into the gates of Aelin’s home, you caught glimpse of a white wolf sitting in the courtyard. Your heart dropped at the sight of him.

Elise reached over, giving your leg a quick squeeze and Lorcan brought the wagon to a stop.

“Good luck, Y/N.” Elide said as she stood. “Looks like you’re going to need it.” She glanced over your shoulder and you didn’t need to turn around to know who she was looking at.

Lorcan helped Elide onto the ground, and the two of them made quick work of getting inside.

You huffed out a breath, trying to reign in your heartbeat. Fenrys was glaring holes through the back of your head.

“A simple ‘welcome home’ would suffice.” You said, finally standing and climbing out of the wagon. He was at your side in seconds.

“A simple ‘goodbye’ would have been better.” He growled, helping you to the ground.

The second your feet touched stone, you pulled out of his grasp. Hurt flashed in his eyes before he trained his face into something impassive.

“Would have said goodbye if I had been able to find you.” You mumbled.

He took a step towards you, but you stepped away from him again.

“I didn’t even know you were leaving. I had to find out from Aedion. Aelin wouldn’t even tell me where you went off to.”

“Aelin has some sense, then.” You rolled your eyes before setting off towards you home.

“Did you have fun with Dorian?” He spat, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Oh yeah. Loads of fun.” You pushed past him to start the short journey to your home. “Really wore me out.”

He let out a low growl. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Fenrys had an awful jealous streak, and for a moment, you felt guilty at the implication that you had made. But you steeled your nerves before you turned back to him.

“Where were you?” You couldn’t keep your voice from cracking.

He only stared at you, his brows furrowed.

“I looked everywhere. I even went to the beach.” You shook your head.

“You obviously didn’t look hard enough.”

Your lips parted in surprise at his response. You and Fenrys never fought. It was rare that the two of you even got mad at each other. As passionate and intense as you both were, you were also soft and gentle with each other. Your tempers were normally reserved for other people or training.

“I’m going to bed.” You turned on your heel again, “find somewhere else to stay for a few days.”

He didn’t follow, and you struggled to keep the tears from falling as you ran the rest of the way home.

*****

It had been five days. Five days for you to think, think again and then over think the interaction that got you to this point.

You knew you had been too sensitive, and that you had overreacted, but your pride wouldn’t let you admit it to Fenrys. Even if he was gazing at you across the training ring with regret and longing.

As upset as he had been, he had honored your wishes for him to stay away for awhile. You had run into each other a few times in the past few days, and you had a hunch that Aelin and Rowan were doing all they could to force the two of you into the same room.

“Y/N, Fenrys.” Aedion called out, “Aelin would like an audience with you.”

You nodded, setting the wooden sword you had been practicing with to the side and nodding at Gavriel. He offered a small smile and turned to Lorcan to continue his training.

Fenrys hesitated for a moment, his eyes never leaving your retreating form as you crossed the room towards Aedion.

“Are you coming?” You asked, stopping by the door, finally meeting his gaze over your shoulder.

“Oh.” He scrambled to catch up with you. “Yeah, I’m coming.”

*****

When you got to the throne room, the two of you stopped as he knocked.

“Do you have any idea what she wants?” You asked, leaning a shoulder against the wall as you waited for permission to enter.

“No idea.” He shook his head.

“Hmm.” Was your only response.

You examined him. He looked tired, as if he hadn’t been sleeping. The thought of his restless nights tugged at your heart, but you quickly shook the thought from your mind. You were mad at him, you reminded yourself.

“How are you?” He asked, avoiding your eyes.

“I’m great. You?”

He cleared his throat, and you knew him well enough to know that he was struggling to form an answer that didn’t sound what he thought was absolutely pathetic. You hoped he would tell you he missed you.

He settled on, “I’ve been better.”

Before you could respond, Rowan opened the door, beckoning the two of you into the room.

“Hello, Rowan.” You greeted as you stepped past him.

Aelin sat atop her throne, watching as the two of you with a blank expression. It made your hands sweat.

“Good morning.” She said, her queen voice coming out in full force.

“Good morning, your majesty.” You said, and Fenrys bowed.

Aelin chuckled and motioned for you two to come closer.

“I have a task for the two of you.” Aelin started. “You leave as soon as you can pack a bag.”

You both froze. “What will we be doing?” He asked.

“There seems to be some unease near the mountains. Something about bandits attacking travelers. I need the two of you to take care of it.” Rowan nodded as he joined her, standing behind her throne.

“Just the two of us?” You asked.

“Will that be a problem?” Rowan asked, irritation lacing his voice.

“No, of course not.” You shook your head.

“We have a horse waiting in the stables for you,” Aelin said, “You’re free to go. I expect to hear that you’ve left within the next twenty minutes.”

You both nodded before turning to leave.

“I need to come by for some of my things.” He murmured.

“I expected as much.” You replied, shutting the door to the throne room behind you.

*****

An hour later, the two of you were atop the horse, and several miles from the city. The ride so far had been dreadfully quiet. Having him pressed up against you like this was making it harder to be angry with him.

You adjusted yourself in the saddle, and he chuckled behind you.

“You’re going to be in for a rough trip if you’re already uncomfortable.” He said, his breath fanning over the back of your neck.

“The saddle isn’t the problem.” You snapped back.

“I stand by my sentiment.” He tightened his hold on you.

“They only gave us one horse on purpose.” You pouted. You were aware you sounded like a child, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

“Most likely. They’re getting sick of having me in the castle.”

“You’ve been staying at the castle?”

“I have.” He cleared his throat, “not quite the same as our bed, but I suppose it could be worse.”

You nodded, leaning back into him ever so slightly. You missed the way his arms felt around you.

“All you have to do is ask me to come back.” He whispered.

“Maybe I don’t want you to come back.” You said, but he only chuckled. The sound rattled around in your head. 

“Your body says otherwise, my love.”

You shook your head, moving as far away from him as you could when you were sharing a saddle. “Knock it off. I’m still mad at you.”

*****

That evening, the two of you stopped to set up camp. The rest of the ride had been silent, and you were growing more and more agitated as time went on. He seemed perfectly content and happy to sit in silence, though, and that made you even more upset.

“Would you mind helping to set up camp? Or would you rather glare at me for the rest of the night?” He asked, his back still facing you.

You didn’t answer, and after a few heartbeats, he sighed.

“We should talk,” he said.

“Why? You seem perfectly happy acting as though nothing has happened.”

“Y/N…” he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Where were you?” You asked, “the day you came back… after you reported to Aelin. Where were you?”

“I was with Aedion. Ironically enough, he and Lysandra got into a spat, and he needed an ear and a shoulder.” He shrugged. “I didn’t know you were leaving until he asked me if I was going to say goodbye to you.”

“I looked everywhere for you.” You said.

“I was still in the castle.” He said, “and by the time I came to find you, you were gone.”

“I’m sorry I left without saying goodbye.” You whispered.

“And I’m sorry I didn’t come find you sooner.” He said, taking a step closer to you.

“And I’m sorry for cursing your existence on our favorite beach.” You grinned at him as he belted out a laugh.

His laugh. It was like music to your ears. It was something that you missed dearly, and now you were so grateful that you got to hear it again. The brief chuckles on the horse were nothing compared to this.

“C’mere, my love.” He opened his arms.

You flung your arms around him and pressed a kiss to his lips. He pulled you as close as he could, and kissed you back.

When he pulled away, humor was dancing in his eyes. “You’re impossible, you know that?”

“But you love me anyway.” You replied, pressing another kiss to his lips.

“You’re right. I do love you anyway.” His answering grin made a blush creep to your cheeks.

“So...” you started, glancing once at his lips. “What should we do to make up for the last three weeks apart?”

“I can think of a few things.” He pressed another kiss to your lips.

You swore to yourself that you would never spend that much time away from him again.

[maydoesthings]

CHIHIRO

pairing: aizawa shouta x reader (oc- ish)

warnings: mha vigilante spoilers!/mha s5ish spoilers!, mentioned sexual themes, alcohol, trauma and angst😔

i’m back! so i didn’t write a summary cause i wanna let y’all get right into it… it is not proofread it is 6am i wanna sleep and i’ve been sitting here for 2 hours so my bad… i’m very excited for this one and since they made my boy oboro just dissapear into thin air??? i decided to give him some love (he’s still dead but like, oboro- centric okay🙄)

also, there’s not rlly smut in here but it’s implied so read at ur own risk!!

masterlist

Aizawa Shouta’s life was full of regrets. Some were small, quick mistakes that are forgotten easily. Others were heavy, forever burned in his mind, dragging him down. Some things you can’t let go. Moments full of guilt. His past is a heavy weight on his shoulders. Every single regret made him the man he is today.

There is on day, that will haunt him forever. A day that formed every future decision of him. Just at 16 years facing the cruel reality. If he had been faster, better, stronger… He was unprepared and naive. A life taken too soon, he made sure it’ll never happen again. Everything is planned through, rational. He had to push these kids hard if they wanted to stand a chance. He may be brutal, but he only does what’s necessary.

Maybe it helps him to accept his best friends death. That it wasn’t his fault, that he does the right thing. To move on and improve. He always thought he was good at that, being calm and collected and such. If only he’d stop holding himself back.

You’d never find someone like Shirakumo again in your life, that’s what Aizawa always thought. Still, there is one person hitting too close to home. He hated that. How could he let go of this terrible accident when there was such a perfect copy of Shirakumo constantly in his business. He didn’t want to see that all too similar smile, the rare cloud like hair he’s never seen before, or the bubbly personality that could always lighten the mood.

It hurts to think about.

When he was still in High School, she was a lot smaller. He hadn’t seen her often back then. Only a few times when he visited Shirakumo, but of course he knew his little sister. Family was always important to Shirakumo, something Aizawa could never fully understand. He didn’t hate his family, but he didn’t value it as much.

She was 4, maybe even 5 years younger. He didn’t really care about her back then. After Shirakumo’s passing he only saw her at the funeral and then luckily he didn’t have to face his dead friends family anymore. It made him so terrible guilty.

The next time was years later. She was in her last year of High School when he faced her again. If he was honest, he had forgotten about her but seeing how she had grown up to look like her big brother, of course he recognized her. It was more surprising that she remembered him too.

She seemed happy to see him again. It made him uncomfortable. He’d run into her more than often during patrol. She’d always come up to him and talk. It seemed like she wanted to get closer to him, for the wrong intentions, he quickly realized. He would never dare to even think about Shirakumo’s sister like that, and she was still in High School. So he pushed her away.

When he was still in High School, before the accident, Shirakumo told him that his sister seemed to have a tiny crush on him. He barely interacted or talked to her, he thought Shirakumo was ridiculous.

Well, after all those failed attempts at getting closer, he might’ve been right, a little bit. How embarassing. Despite him pushing her away they still stayed in contact. It wasn’t too bad to have someone who shares the same kind of emptiness. The loss of a loved one.

After her graduation, he barely heard from her, which he was kind of grateful for. She was nice, but she was hung up on her dead brothers friend trying to find comfort. They’d both have to live their life. Move on.

And that was it.

Well, not really. It should’ve stayed at that, because now he was in too deep. She studied medicine. She didn’t take the same path as her brother, for now obvious reasons. If that was her decision or their parents, he had no idea. He was happy for her. Still saving the people. Rescuing the ones in need. Some own kind of heroic.

He didn’t really know until he ran into her after a rough night on patrol. She was training to become a doctor, so she started as a nurse in some hospital in Musutafu. Aizawa was more than suprised to see her walking into the room, fixing him up. She looked rather suprised too. Scolded him to be more careful and then sent him off.

Somehow luck wasn’t on his side the following weeks, maybe even months. The villain rate increased rapidly so he had no choice than to come into the hospital more often than not. He’d rather fix up himself, if the wounds were easy to take care of. At some point she was getting tired of fixing him up, but still did it.

She is the spitting image of her brother, just more feminine and he hates it. He wants to hate it. But it gives him closure somehow. He was selfish, and he knew. They started to see each other outside of the hospital too, what a suprise. When she starts her morning shift, he ends his patrol, so sometimes one of them bought coffee since they were in the same area. Just a quick exchange and then they’d go off to do their job. Or sleep.

At some point she gave him her number and threatened him if he wouldn’t call when he was hurt and she was off duty. If it was still an attempt to get more of him, he wasn’t sure. Maybe it’s just her being herself, it is how she acts around other people too. Always friendly and trying to help.

And then the day came where he actually had to call her. He dreaded that day because it meant there were more boundaries crossed than he was comfortable with. But she insisted. He had to. For them.

It happened more often that he would end in her apartment, getting stitched up in her bathroom. That was okay. Friends helping friends.

Shirakumo’s death date came closer. The mood was always sour during this time. His birthday too. He wasn’t the best at coping. He’d just sit in his empty apartment staring at the floor, maybe visit the graveyard if he didn’t feel like a complete failure. Yamada himself said he was always an ass to be around during that time.

Not his fault Yamada is better with emotions than him.

It was around one week before the day. He felt so alone, which he would normally prefer, but this was different. Maybe he could see her, they’re so much alike, it would help him. He was certain. So he called.

He was in her apartment again, this time on the couch rather than the bathroom. She sat down beside him and no one said nothing for quite a while.

“Why did you call? Normally I only see you to fix you up.”

“…I miss him.”

“oh.”

She got up and quickly came back with a bottle of some liquor and two glasses. He doesn’t remember what liquor.

“I didn’t know this was gonna be a shit show today..”

“M’sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

It should’ve stayed at that but he had to push, push for answers. She reminds him so much of him, it hurts. Always fixing him up, puttin him back together and listening to him sulking about Shirakumo even though he was her brother and not his.

“Why are you doing all this.”

“What… Oh Aizawa, I always found you admirable. You don’t give yourself enough credit. I know you don’t seem to be too fond of me, and I totally understand. I’m doing this more for myself, as selfish as that is.”

‘We both.’ he tought. He hated himself for sitting in this apartment. He should be the mature one. Two ‘adults’ sitting on a couch together and sulking for apparently two different reasons.

‘This is getting too much. I can’t do this.’

He doesn’t remember how long he’d been sitting there. The atmosphere was tense, and he could feel himself heating up from the liquor.

She broke the silence first. “Would you say something?” she sounded so desperate. He was desperate too, for closure. He needed something even if he didn’t want it. It was totally his mistake. Totally.

How could he end up in her bed that night. Something to add on the list on regrets.

He couldn’t fuck up more. His best friends little sister, his dead best friends little sister. He should be ashamed. She lies there, hoping for more than just a night of..whatever.

How could he do something like this to Shirakumo. He promised to keep away from her, tell no one about this, apologize- Hell, anything just so this never happened.

Somehow, he always found his way back. His mood only worsened from time to time because he said it’s enough one too many times. He patrols, passing her apartment building, and somehow, he rings the doorbell. Every. Single. Time. Of course she opens, and he’s all over her again just to quickly disappear the next morning.

He ends up hurt, and despite his better judgement goes to her apartment to get fixed up. He may take his shirt off so he can get treated, but hers is next. And every single time he tells himself: ‘Next time, I fix myself up.’

Somehow that never happens.

Then he starts to call her to come to his apartment when he’s having a hard time. But the difference is, he can’t run away. She happily stays in his apartment cooking breakfast before leaving around noon. It makes him uncomfortable.

She thinks of this as more, than just finding comfort. Maybe she doesn’t see why he is doing it and how he regrets it every time. She wanted this for what, years? She seems much happier. He isn’t a person to talk about feelings. He made it clear enough that they are not a couple or anything close to that.

And she’s aware. But there’s hope. That he gets attached to her. He reaches out so of course he wants to see her. She thinks of them more as friends but less than a couple while he thinks it’s clearly a mistake he can’t stop making.

She has some sort of sense to know it’s wrong. When they hastily pull of their clothes, he always sees that she’s pushing the picture of her and Shirakumo down, so he can’t see. It’s on a shelf right at the front door. And even if they go to her bedroom, the frame comes down every time he visits, cause he shouldn’t see.

And when she catches him before he can sneak off, she brings him to the door, where she pulls the picture up again. And there’s always this hopeful look everytime he leaves. He hates it.

He wants to hate it. He wants this misery to end. They won’t ever be together and he knows, she doesn’t. She wouldn’t understand. Because the worst is, she’s pretty yes, but she has so much resemblance with him. When she lays on her bed, he just buries his face in her neck or really anywhere, so he doesn’t have to face that hair, that look. He just can’t.

He doesn’t think she’s noticed yet. She seems quite happy with their arrangement.

It goes on for years.

——————————————————————

hello! i’m back with the aizawa brain rot😔

so i’ve been working on this as a longer story but i had to start somewhere… would y’all wanna see more?

if yes, be prepared for angst😝

song “chihiro” by billie eilish

[oddlies]

My Grimsby ! | An Irene Drabble

Take me back you rustic town, I miss your magic charm ! Just to smell your candy floss or drink in the Skinners Arms ! No Cordon Bleu can match the beauty of your pies and peas ! I want to ride your fairground, take air along the quay !

“Let’s run away. Elope, you know?” 

Irene had pitched the idea once, twice, even. She and Sylvia had been together for a little over three years now, and she was itching to get away from Cambridge. She couldn’t quite figure out why, but perhaps it had something to do with wanting to move somewhere quieter, where there were less people, which meant less people to bother the pair. Sylvia hadn’t received the brunt of the troubles that the pair faced, but even so, Irene was concerned that she’d start to get targeted, too. She’d expressed her concerns, but it turns out that both women–barely even women, they’d just turned twenty-one–were just alike in their stubbornness. 

Sylvia didn’t want to leave behind her family, which Irene understood, even if she insisted that they could still send letters or call. There was a distinct familiarity, too, that such a change in scenery would disrupt. Neither of them really cared for change, but Irene’s need for difference trumped her discomfort, and Irene, being the way that she was, had a way of wearing people down. Sometimes good, sometimes bad, but she always managed to do it. 

It was a comfortable, sunny day, where the pair were lying on Irene’s bed, all alone in her flat. She tucked a strand of Sylvia’s sandy blonde hair behind her ear just so, with a warm smile. There was a twinkle in her eye, one that Sylvia knew well, but she didn’t ask about it–the cause would become soon apparent. She had a gut feeling about what was about to be asked, anyways. It’d only come up a few times that she’d remembered, but she could always tell when her girlfriend was going to bring up the subject once again. 

“You know what your hair reminds me of?” Irene asks, her smile now turned into a grin. 

“What does it remind you of?” Sylvia replies back with her own question, a small smile of her own growing on her face to match. 

“A beach,” Irene continues, “a nice, cozy, warm beach. And the weather today reminds me of it, too. I simply think we should go to the beach.” 

“Permanently?” Sylvia couldn’t contain herself any longer, deciding to pop the question in her own way. Perhaps she had thought about it herself, finally moving away and spreading her wings. Some people had started to believe that she depended too much on her family, and something within her wanted to prove them wrong. Maybe if she did something wild, they’d believe there was more to her.

Irene’s brows raise, yet her smile confidently remains, her finger tracing down Sylvia’s jaw to reach her chin. “If I said yes, would you do it? Would you come with me to Grimsby?” She eyes her girlfriend almost seductively, with a certain passion in her gaze. “I know it’s the third time or so I’ve asked, but…”

“It’s a charm,” Sylvia giggles, tickled by Irene’s gentle touch. “This time, I think I’ll have to say yes. You’ve convinced me enough. I’ll have to come up with a good excuse for me packing up and leaving, but yes, I’ll join you!” 

With such an enthusiastic acceptance, Irene can’t help herself as she presses a kiss to her lips, just as enthused. Particularly excitable, she practically scrambles off of the bed in joy, leaving Sylvia dumbfounded, but as soon as she was able to pull herself together, she peered down from the bed to see Irene holding up one of her own rings towards her. She was down on one knee and everything, her heart fluttering despite their risky decision. Perhaps brash, perhaps foolish. But if anything, it was motivated by love. And that is something both women had plenty of for each other.

“I know this is your favorite ring of mine,” Irene explains, “so it’s why I wanted to propose with it. To make it special. I’d hate to give my wife something she didn’t like!” She knew they wouldn’t be married in the eyes of the law or most people, but that didn’t bother her. What really mattered to her was their happiness as a couple, and if that meant proposing and living together as if they were any other couple, so be it. “Your wife!” Sylvia gasped, her eyes bright and wet with tears as she sat up, her hands flying to cover her mouth, as if to suppress a sob. “Oh, Irene, yes!” Her answer was muffled, but it didn’t matter to Irene, who stood up to wipe Sylvia’s tears away. 

“Hey, I didn’t even get to ask the question!” She jests, trying to make Sylvia laugh. She gives in and holds out her hand for Irene to place the ring on her finger. She contentedly sighs, admiring how it shone in the soft light of Irene’s room. It was such an intimate moment, the two of them alone with no one to judge them or pry them away from each other. With that, she was grateful that Irene chose such a place, away from the busy outside world. They would’ve garnered too much attention, but here, it was special. She felt special. Irene had such a way of making her feel like that. 

Sylvia couldn’t waste another moment, pulling Irene into a kiss, throwing her arms over her shoulders and behind her neck. Irene, as giddy as a girl, whispers to her when they manage to pull themselves away, “I can’t wait for our honeymoon.” To that, Sylvia’s cheeks burn bright pink as she playfully hits Irene on her shoulder. Even then she finds herself giggling and nodding along.

“Me neither.” 

Oh, Grimsby, a thousand delights Couldn't match the sweet sights ! Oh, my Grimsby ! Oh, England you're fair, But there's none to compare with my Grimsby !

[angelst4re]

Hiya. I LOVE your Jamie drabbles.

You're very talented.

I wondered if maybe you would consider this for a future fic/series:

Jamie fancies you. But you have no clue why.

Reader is overweight with little body confidence and never had someone like him interested in her before. A thin guy with a chubby girl? No way!

But she agrees to a date because she is mesmerised by him. He quickly realises how much she struggles to accept his interest and delicate advances. He makes it his mission to break down the walls she's cocooned herself in and show her just how much she's worth. Make her feel good about herself.

Just sweet, and/or smutty. I leave that decision to you! 😊

hi my love!! as someone who's always been bigger than all my friends and still struggles accepting that it's possible to be loved I LOVE THIS. i was so excited to write this and i think i might make it a 2/3 part series because I HAVE MORE!!

As You Are- Jamie Campbell Bower x Plussize!Reader

𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐦𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐬, 𝐈'𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞

୨♡୧ warnings: reader has a negative self image

୨♡୧ note: I HIT 200 FOLLOWERS TODAY WHAAT?!?!?! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! <33

“Y/n, it’s your 25th birthday! And you want to spend it at home watching… whatever this is?” Your friend, Georgia, turned to look at the TV in disgust, “desperate housewives. Really? You’d rather watch this instead of coming with us to the club? You could get free drinks because you’re the birthday girl!” 

You sigh and take a moment to think about it. You hadn’t gone out in a while, so it would be nice, but you had work tomorrow so you didn’t want to have to go in with a hangover. But you only turn 25 once…

“Fuck it.” You say, turning the TV off and opening your wardrobe doors, “what dress says ‘birthday girl’, the black one or-”

“The black one! It’s so sexy, I swear if you don’t wear it…” She shook her fist in the air, as if to threaten you as she laughed. “C’mon, it opens in two hours. Do you want to come to mine to get ready?” 

“Sure, just let me get some things and- who else is going there tonight?”

“You and me, of course, but Madeline’s coming with her boyfriend and I think Sasha has the flu so she’s staying at home.” Georgia explains. “But that’s okay because Sasha’s been quite bitchy to me lately, so it’ll just be the four of us. But I’m planning on getting lucky tonight, what about you?” 

Georgia was always the only girl in your group of friends that boys were interested in. You don’t blame them, she’s beautiful. You could never imagine having boys begging you to give them your number, you could never imagine looking as gorgeous as she does, you could never imagine-

“Earth to y/n?! Did you hear me?” 

“Hm?” 

“I asked if you think you’re going to meet anyone tonight, it’s quite a prestigious club, Madeline’s boyfriend’s dad owns it, so that’s why we’re getting in. I heard Cole Sprouse was in there last week, remember when-” 

“Yes, I remember when I had a crush on him. Shut up.” You giggle, blushing in embarrassment, “so when should we start getting ready?” 

—————————♡—————————

You were on your second drink, whilst Georgia was on her fifth. Madeline wasn’t drinking as she had to drive her boyfriend and herself home later, which you wished you hadn't started drinking. You promised yourself to only have one, you had work tomorrow, but when you got there, you couldn’t resist. 

“Y/n, that guy over there is so fucking hot,” Georgia points, “you should go up and talk to him-”

“No! I think he has a girlfriend, look!” 

The brunette turned to a girl sitting on his table and he leaned over and kissed his cheek, at that very moment Georgia frowned and sat back in her seat. 

“Why does that always happen? You spot a gorgeous boy and then you find out someone else found him before you?!” 

“What are you talking about?” Madeline’s boyfriend, Matt, asked, sitting down with his drink. 

“Georgia found a guy who looks like Timothee Chalamet but he has a girlfriend.” You explain, making it sound like it happens all the time. 

“I’m going out for a smoke, this is stressing me out too much. Anyone else coming?” Georgia asks, standing up with her cigarettes in her hand. 

“Sure.” You say, following her out. Although you don’t smoke anymore, you still enjoyed the atmosphere of the smoking area in bars. 

The two of you sat on the small bit of brick wall by the door as Georgia lit her cigarette, your hands kept pulling your dress down your thighs as it would keep rising up- and you didn’t want to flash the group of men in the corner when you stood back up. 

“Hey, look, it’s the Timothee guy!” Georgia smacked your lap as he walked out, “I’m gonna ask him if he’s single!” 

You admired your friend's confidence. She wasn’t afraid of anything- especially rejection. She had no need to be. You could only recall one time she had been rejected by a guy she liked, and that was only because he was married. 

You sighed, playing with your rings as you sat alone waiting for Georgia to come back. 

“You alright, darling?” A man asked, you turned to your right and there he was. The most gorgeous man you had ever seen. He had a cigarette in his hand, his fingers decorated with rings and tattoos on his middle fingers, a gold chain bracelet on his wrist. He wore a black shirt which was unbuttoned at the top, revealing a few more tattoos, and black trousers… You instinctively folded your arms over your belly and smiled up at the man. 

“Yeah, I’m just waiting for my friend.” You point over to Georgia, who now had her tongue down “Timothee Chalamet’s” throat. You cringed and turned back to the blonde man, who sat down beside you on the wall. 

“Well it looks like she’s having fun,” he laughed, before turning his attention back to you, “I’m Jamie by the way.” You were baffled. Surely this had to be a dare, there’s no way a guy like this would come over and talk to you. You searched the few groups of people around you to see if anyone was watching or laughing- but there wasn’t. 

“I’m y/n,” you replied, sounding quite unsure, “who are you here with?” 

“My brother, his girlfriend and some friends. I just got back from filming and they wanted to go out and celebrate.” 

“Filming? So you’re like.. An actor?” 

“I guess you could say that,” he chuckled. He was about to say something else but you spoke instead. 

 “Well, I’m here to celebrate my birthday. The big 2-5!”

“No way! Happy birthday!” He grinned, gently placing his hand on your shoulder. You smile at the small touch, but you still had some suspicions about this man. “I turn… oh shit I’m 34 this year?!”

“No you’re not!” You gasp, you guessed he was around your age. You could only hope and pray you looked as young as him when you turn 34. He nodded his head slowly. 

Suddenly, Georgia reappeared, extra giggly this time. 

“So Timothee’s real name is Dan… And I’m going back to his house, so do you think you could get Madeleine to take you home- Oh! Who is this?” Georgia grinned at Jamie, “See I told you you’d-” 

“That’s enough Georgia!” You interrupt her, putting your hand out. “Have fun with Dan, and let me know you’re safe, okay?”

She grinned as she ran off, chasing Dan. 

“What was that about? What did she tell you?”  Jamie asked with a grin. 

“Nothing, she just seems to think everyone can go out and find a quick fuck- Shit! No, that’s not what I meant- It’s… she thinks everyone can pull any guy they want, she seems to forget some of us aren’t as pretty as her…” The alcohol had clearly gotten to you now. You would never have admitted that out loud if you were sober. 

“Well, I think you’re pretty. I think you’re beautiful, y/n.” He says, taking one of your hands in his and stroking it with his thumb. 

“No you don’t.” You say confidently. 

“And why do you think that?” He asks, his eyebrows raised. 

“Because I’m… I’m bigger than other girls. It’s embarrassing to be seen with me. You-”

“No, no, no. Stop right there.” He says, trying to stop you from getting overwhelmed as your eyes begin to gloss with tears, “I don’t know what anyone else has told you before, sweetheart, but that’s not true, okay? I would-”

“Y/n, there you are!” Matt sighed in relief as he saw you, “why are you crying? Has he-” As Matt turns to Jamie you quickly explain that it’s just the alcohol, you’re an emotional drunk and that Jamie was trying to calm you down. “Well, Madeline and I are going to leave in a minute, so come back in when you’re ready.”

You thank him and he leaves, you turn back to Jamie and sigh, apologising for everything. Just before you went to leave, Jamie stopped you and asked for your number. In any normal circumstance, you would’ve said no, knowing that he would probably give it to his friend and they’d laugh as you text him back- having known from experience. But you took his phone and typed your number in for him. He smiled as you left, hoping to see you again soon. 

—————————♡————��————

Unknown Number:

08:21 Hey :)

08:23 It’s Jamie, what are you doing later? Xx

You ignore the messages, rolling over in your bed and sighing. You couldn’t believe you gave your number to some random man you met at the bar, you cursed yourself for having a decent amount of confidence when you were drunk. You tried to brush it off and get ready for work, coffees weren’t going to make themselves. 

“So his name is Jamie… and he’s an actor?!” Georgia often visited you at work for fun, which made the hours fly by. You appreciated her for that. “We get wifi here, right?” She asks, taking her phone from her pocket. 

“You’re not going to search him, are you?!” Your eyes widen, “Georgie no!”

Georgia giggled as she opened google. 

“Actors named Jamie… These are all old men!” She frowned, showing you her phone. 

“Well, he’s blonde and he told me he’s 34 this year which makes him 33 now…”

When Georgia started smiling you knew she had found something, when she bit her lip you knew she found him. 

“Is this him by any chance?” 

“Holy shit!” Your hand flew to your mouth. He was famous!

“Jamie Campbell Bower… he’s pretty. Have you replied to him yet?” 

“No, I don’t think I will.”

“What?! Why?”

“Look at him,” you say, pointing to Georgia’s phone, “and look at me.”

“Y/n, baby, I keep telling you to stop thinking like that! You surely don’t believe you're not worthy of this man just by the way you look?” Georgia frowns, “give me your phone.” 

“No!” 

“Y/n, either you give me it or you text him yourself,” she grins, “what’s it gonna be?”

You sigh, pulling your phone from your pocket. 

“What should I say?” You ask, re-reading the texts he sent you. You will admit that you felt butterflies in your stomach when you read them. 

“How about… I finish work at 4, so I’m free any time after that?” 

“Georgie, you genius!” You smile as you type out your message. 

13:02 Hi :)

13:02 I finish work at 4 and I haven’t got any plans after that x

You throw your phone down onto the table after sending the texts, and only moments later you get a reply.

13:05 Great! Where do you work, I’ll pick you up x

“What did he say?!” Georgia squealed in excitement. 

“He asked where I work, he said he’ll pick me up?” 

“Oh my- Y/n! This is so exciting! Tell him- oh, and ask if his brother’s single!”

“He isn’t. He said last night he has a girlfriend- Hey, what happened to Dan?”

“Just a one night thing, baby.” Georgia said, sitting back in her chair, “so are you going to text Jamie back or just stare at the messages all day?”

“What do I say?”

“Tell him where you work, and say you can’t wait to see him!” 

“But I look like shit right now- I mean, I’m in my uniform and I haven’t got any makeup on and-”

“Y/n, stop worrying about how you look. Or I swear I will send him the photo, that way you’ll have nothing to worry about,” Georgia laughed. She always threatened you with the photo from Halloween one year, you were dressed as Uncle Ian from the Chipmunks. “Maybe you could ask him to take you home first so you could change?” 

“Good idea- but then he’ll know where I live!” 

“So?” 

“What if he’s a serial killer?” 

“Y/n. He has an imdb page. And when I searched him up it was all saying good things. This is a chance of a lifetime, take it!” 

You decide Georgia was right. 

13:12 The coffee shop down the road from the bar last night…

13:13 But would you mind taking me home first? I need to change out of my work uniform :)

—————————♡—————————

“And it’s the second one on the- here!” You point to your house and Jamie parks outside. “Do you want to come in? I might be a while…”

“Of course.” He smiles, taking his keys out of the car.

When you get inside, you show Jamie around a bit and offer him a drink, which he declines. You tell him you’ll be two minutes as you disappear up to your bedroom. However, that was a lie. 

As you looked through your wardrobe, all you could find were jeans that were too tight and skirts that rose up too high at the back. You had a cute pair of joggers, but you didn’t want to look lazy and underdressed. So you decided to stick with the black jeans you wore for work. When you tried to find a top to match, your entire wardrobe was practically on the floor, creating a massive pile of clothes. 

You pick out a top randomly, and you were quite happy with it. It was red and had lace detailing at the top, it was also slightly cropped, but that was okay as your jeans were high waisted. You smiled, thinking you looked okay. 

As you came down the stairs, Jamie was standing by the door waiting for you. He smiled as you approached him, causing you to furrow your eyebrows. 

“What?” You giggle nervously. 

“You look beautiful,” he smiles, “okay so I know this isn’t much of a date but-”

“A date?” Your eyes widen, he chuckles and nods his head, “sorry it’s… I don’t think I’ve been on a proper date before.”

“I wouldn’t call this a ‘date’, but I guess I’ll have to take you out somewhere nice one day, show you how it’s done,” he smirks, “what are you doing tomorrow?” 

“Nothing, I don’t think I’m busy.” You tell him. 

“Wonderful, so I’ll pick you up from here tomorrow at 7, is that okay?” 

“Yeah, I guess.” You smile, feeling your face heat up. 

“You’re so cute when I make you blush, anyway, let’s go! We don’t want to be late!” 

Jamie had taken you to another club that night, his brother Sam had a DJ set there. He had quite a talent, you thought, but you were struggling to enjoy your night. Girls would keep coming up to Jamie and flirting with him, asking for pictures with him, and giving you dirty looks as he placed his hand on your waist. You didn’t understand why Jamie chose you, out of all these other girls he could’ve had, it’s you he chose to put his arm around, you who he was taking on a date tomorrow, you who he would keep complimenting. You didn’t understand it. 

When Sam’s part was over, Jamie took you with him to meet him backstage. He was almost as lovely as Jamie, and you got along well with his girlfriend. However, you still couldn’t help but feel out of place. Sam had offered to take everyone out for drinks to celebrate his first gig, and when Jamie had agreed to go you felt bad saying no, so you went along with them. 

The night seemed to fly by. Sam would ask you about yourself, and you find out that you have a couple mutual friends. There was never a moment of awkward silence, although everyone had a few drinks so you were all a little more talkative than you would’ve been sober. 

Jamie pats the top of your thigh as he stands up, telling you he’s going for a cigarette, his touch was enough to send butterflies to your tummy again. You followed him out and he took your hand as he found the exit. 

You admired him as he smoked his cigarette. You quit a few years ago as you believed it was a bad habit and a waste of money, but when he did it he looked like a work of art. He caught you staring as he put it out on the floor, and you pretended to look away. But he knew. 

He came closer to you, closer than he had been in the car, and moved a piece of hair from your face. 

“What will it take for me to make you see yourself the way I see you?” He asks, his face just inches away from you. 

“I don’t think you ever will.” You whisper as he places his hand on your waist. 

“I will, darling, I won’t give up until I do.” He says before leaning in, pressing his lips so delicately against yours. Your arms come up to wrap around his neck as you pull him closer towards you, he deepens the kiss by sliding his tongue into your mouth, his hand coming up to cup your cheek. 

You only broke the kiss when you had to pull away for air, and you buried your face in his chest as you giggled.

“What?” Jamie chuckled, resting his chin on your head. 

“Why are you doing this?”

“Doing what?” 

“Texting me, taking me places, telling me I’m beautiful, kissing me- I just need to know what’s going on. I’ve been lied to before, Jamie, and it broke me. I can’t possibly go through this again.” 

“Because I can’t stop thinking about you. When I saw you last night I had to come and talk to you, and when I saw you sitting by yourself it made me upset, y/n, and then I got to know you, and I still want to know more. I want to know why you lie to yourself, I want to know why you think you’re not good enough for me, I want to know what your favourite colour is, I want to know- I want to know everything about you!” 

“But Jamie, you’re drunk. You wouldn’t think so if you weren’t.”

“Then why did I spend all day thinking about you? I-”

“Y/n, Jamie!” Sam’s girlfriend interrupted, barging through the doors, “Sam’s being sick so I guess we’re going to leave. Thanks for coming out tonight, he really appreciated it. And it was wonderful to meet you, y/n! I hope we’ll see you again soon!” 

You said your goodbyes and Jamie asked if you wanted to stay a bit longer or go home, so you told him you wanted to go home. He then asked if you wanted him to walk you- as he knew it was only 10 minutes away- or if you’d rather get a taxi. You told him you’d walk, and he insisted on making sure you got back safely. 

It’s not that you didn’t like Jamie. He was the most wonderful person you think you’ve ever met. But you believed it didn’t think it made sense, you and him, but when his lips were on yours you thought nothing had ever felt so right. You wished you could let go of your past experiences of relationships and romances, as they caused you nothing but pain. You had an ex who used you for your body, you had another ex who you had only dated for a month because he was dared by one of his friends to date you and ever since then you had not even flirted with any guy. You knew Jamie was different, but you were still afraid. 

When you got back to your house, Jamie said he was going to get a taxi to take him back, but you felt bad for what you told him earlier, so you told him not to and invited him in. 

“You could stay if you want,” you smile at him as you shut the door behind yourself, “I mean… I have a sofa, or you could have my bed-”

“No, darling, I couldn’t kick you out of your bedroom. The sofa’s perfect, it’ll take me back to my teenage years.” He laughed.

“Well, I’ll be upstairs then, I’m so tired. There’s blankets over there, the kitchen is through there,” you point to where it is, “and the bathroom is there.” 

“Thank you, good night darling.”

“Good night, Jamie.” You smile as you walk up the stairs. 

As you lie down and try to get some sleep you’re suddenly filled with a great sadness. You felt terrible. Jamie was putting in all this effort, and you were too afraid to let yourself fall again. But then you had an idea. 

02:01 Are you still awake? 

And in seconds you get a reply.

02:01 Yep. But I thought you said you were tired?

You sigh and text him back 

02:02 I was. But it’s too cold up here... 

You thanked the alcohol again for your random bursts of confidence. You smiled when you read his reply

02:02 So you want to cuddle

You replied with a smiley face, and in moments you heard a knock on your bedroom door. 

“Y/n?” He asked from the other side, “can I come in?” 

“Yeah, it isn’t locked.”

As he comes in, you shuffle over, giving him some of your blanket as he lies beside you. You feel his arm come around you and pull you towards him, so your head could rest on his chest. 

“I’m so sorry.” You whisper. 

“For what, my love?” 

“Everything I said earlier. I feel terrible that I can’t trust you. I want to. But… you don't understand, it’s just difficult.”

“I know it’ll take time. Other people have fucked you over before, but I promise you that’s not me, ask anybody. I’m willing to do it, I’ll do whatever it takes to earn your trust. I’ll wait for as long as you need me to,” he rubs your back as he speaks, “and don’t think I’ve forgotten about our date tomorrow!”

[blueberrypie20]

A LOVE full of SCARS // chapter I, part 1.

What is it you wish for?

What is your greatest desire?

If you had to choose, Which side would you support; good or evil? Or, are there even any distinguished, obvious sides of "good" and "evil"?

Finding your path in life is never easy. Specially when you have to make a decision that can affect the entire world.

And there is always a high possibility of you slipping... and falling in The wrong path. Grabbing a wrong string of fate.

There are still a few things that, if strong enough, can push you toward the fate awaiting you; either with a positive, happy ending or a rather... negative and sad one.

One of them is your feeling of love to something.

The other, your rage.

The third, your pride.

The fourth, your ambitions.

The last, your persistence.

Which one is your reason to keep going?

"Airi! Airi! Wake up!"

Airi was wide awake since a while ago. The warmness of the blanket and her lack of sleep though, were two things that had glued her to the bed.

Her mother pushed the door open after a knock and a lazy "come in" from Airi, walking inside with an envelope in her pale, skinny hands.

"Look what I found at the door today~~"

Airi's eyes gazed at the envelope, looking away for a moment before processing the situation and jumping out of her bed as if getting rid of the last drains of melatonin was a piece of cake for her.

"IS IT THE ACCEPTANCE LETTER?!" She exclaimed with pure joy and excitement. She had been studying to enroll in a famous private medical school in Kyoto, and all the maidens and priests working in the temple nearby knew about her because of the amount of prayers she did there.

"Haha... well, i think not, Airi, because there's neither any name nor stamp. Plus, why couldn't they e-mail the result to you? It's no longer the nineteen-hundreds now, is it?"

All her hopes crashed into the deepest oceans of despair like the titanic 100 years ago. If there was one Thing she despised most in the world, it was the feeling of being rejected.

The tiredness crawled back inside Airi's soul and body as she took the envelope with no motivation to open it.

There really wasn't anything special about the envelope; plain white with a black ribbon wrapped around it. Airi blankly pulled the ribbon off and opened the envelope, taking the letter inside out of it. She had mixed feelings of sadness, annoyance, and disappointment; she was definitely going to burn the letter personally if there wasn't anything important inside.

It took her emotions only one sentence to switch to a surprised expression.

"Miss Airi ???, We congratulate you for your acceptance in the prestigious academy of the united souls."

TO BE CONTINUED —>

[dervaaas]

Anything for you

You're his guardian.

platonic!Astolfo Granatum x reader

I honestly don't know how to describe it.

Damn I love this topic so much. I would like more of this, but I will write it myself!

F! reader

After being rescued by Roland Astolfo, he brought him to the church, after several showdowns, the top remembered the decision to put a guardian to him for supervision in the future, and it's a plus to take care of him now. When the question arose on whom to leave him, many supported the idea of exposing Y/N as his guardian.

A few days later, Y/N was brought to a little boy, at this time he was discussing something with Roland with admiration. When she approached them: Roland introduced Y/N and Astolfo explaining to him the whole situation and the importance of her being here. The boy accepted her with complete reluctance, but the girl understood that it would not be so easy, especially considering what he had experienced recently.

For Astolfo, the kindness received from Y/N became significant, perhaps he did not even think that someone else would take care of him, worry just like his mother. Roland began to take him with him to training, to which the boy willingly agreed. The guy became an immaculate ideal for the boy, who would kill a ghoul without hesitation. Astolfo praised Roland all the time, saying that one day he would become like him. All his joy was in him, and Y/N just a person who looks after him.

For two years like this, she had never heard him talk about her somehow, there was no such proud smile when he talked about her. It shouldn't bother her, but still, affection says the opposite. She wants to hear something about herself at least once, and not in terms of the fact that everything is fine with her and what she cooked today.

— Y/N wants to come back today, but I still didn't understand what she meant.. The boy stared at the ground, puzzled, after a question from his mentor.

— Come back? Oh, is she really going back to work as a hunter? Did you know she was one of the paladins? And she also had every chance to become one of the main ones in the church?

- no.. is that true? Astolfo immediately perked up. Is the person who is his guardian a person with a high status in the church?

"That's right, she even taught me for a while," Roland smiled proudly at the boy.

It was after this that Astolfo began to show more interest in Y/N. To her habits, the way she helps him with scratches and bruises after training.

—Is something wrong, Astolfo?" The woman asked him anxiously.

"Were you really a paladin?" The boy asked her with considerable embarrassment.

— Ah, well, yes, but not for a very long time, my health did not allow it.

— So you're really coming back!?

Astolfo became more attentive, asked for help in training., asked about everything he could. This probably pleased Y/N, but also offended in a sense. If she hadn't been a paladin once, would he have shown such interest? Probably not.

Worry about the fact that he began to treat Roland like that and his very aggressive behavior at his mention. Astolfo does not tell why he behaves like this, no matter how hard you try.

Excitement and pride comes with the news that Astolfo has become the youngest paladin in the history of the church. More than once he was told to be careful, even though he was strong. Mentally, physically, it doesn't matter, as long as he returns to her and tries something new in her cooking.

After what happened in Gevodan, Roland brought Astolfo straight into the house. Briefly tells about what happened, not missing a moment about Vanitas and Noah, and what they did.

— Mom, can I not go anywhere today? — Astolfo was lying with a fever after an overdose, and plus to everything he was not so warmly dressed.

— Of course, for you – anything. —Y/N with a gentle smile strokes this guy, who so diligently wants to seem like something worthwhile for her, against the background of her achievements. Although she doesn't care, as long as he doesn't suffer, everything is fine.

[thelastspeecher]

Having a really terrible time rn so I'm here to distract myself with thinking about your stormchaser au because my job training today had us do 3 separate "severe weather" information and response trainings.

Anyways I've been thinking a lot about the implications and consequences of a head injury severe enough to give amnesia and I think this was a plot point and not supposed to be like something backed up by giving Ford medically accurate symptoms and disabilities but that's what happens when you're a disabled gravity falls fan in the medical field.

So a severe traumatic brain injury on that level is gonna have some things that are what you'd expect (vision changes, delayed reactions and confusion, issues with decision making and starting tasks and all that fun executive function stuff long term as well...) but also a common symptom, especially if there's damage to the right hemisphere in general, is impulsiveness as well as personality and mood changes just being a thing.

And I imagine for a while after he wakes up and is treated and even after he's released from the hospital and staying with Jack that's really tough - because I imagine at checkups they're gonna ask repeatedly if there's been any significant changes to his mood, functioning, abilities, and "Bill" and Jack have no clue at all. They have no idea who he was and if it's different.

So when Stan and Ford reunite I imagine it's a relief in you can tell me who I was kind of way but also hard bc Stan definitely sees that Ford's changed. Significantly. But is it because of time? Is it because of new influences? Is it because he didn't know who he was so he became someone different? Or is it a fucking symptom?

I got ahead of myself this ask was supposed to be about imagine "Bill" and Jack going to the grocery store soon after Bill gets out of the hospital and is convinced yes he actually should stay with Jack for the time being and they have a grocery list but Ford/Bill is putting pretty much everything in the cart because he's having a really hard time with impulse control and 20 bananas is not excessive we could need them what if I wake up feeling like eating 20 bananas and Jacks like. This man's a mess. Compels me though

Aaaaaaaaaa Anon I loved getting this monster beast of an ask, esp because I myself have also been Going Through It this week.

What you were saying about the personality change and the doctors asking if "Bill's" personality changed after the accident and neither Jack nor "Bill" knowing how to answer it, that's something that I've actually addressed in a different AU. Because I am a hoarder of AUs and I have one where STAN lost his memory in an accident and that's something that was brought up in stuff I wrote for it because I am a Scientist and I do my Research.

Anyways

Idk if I've addressed the personality change thing much in Storm Chasers AU (which, btw very glad that my little AU is on your mind, it makes me happy people are thinking about and enjoying my stuff), but I have set that up! At least in my head. The biggest thing: "Bill" is remarkably chill. Like, he's just an easygoing kinda go with the flow type of guy for the most part. He's very sweet and gentle and just sort of accepts things and takes life slowly. The taking life slowly is partially due to, as you pointed out, some function being lost from the traumatic brain injury, but it's also partially due to said TBI causing a personality change.

Some aspects of the Original Ford do pop up every now and then. He still gets all Researcher Excited about things, particularly the weird and magical things of Gravity Falls. But he has a different perspective than canon Ford. He treats the magical creatures with more respect and viewing them almost as peers. Once he's calmed down from his initial reaction of "omg omg OMG!" Even with his respect for them, many of the magical creatures don't really like Ford, just bc he goes overboard excited with them so much.

Another thing that sticks around, sorta burned into Ford's DNA at this point, is his, ah, "difficult" relationship with his father. When "Bill" and Jack adopt their first son (the Shapeshifter, whom they name Forrest), "Bill" is constantly fretting about whether he'll be a good father or not. He's paranoid and scared and confused and Jack has never seen this side of him. Jack eventually gets "Bill" to calm down by promising that he'll help keep "Bill" in line and let him know if he does anything wrong. And then he says that he won't need to step in at all bc he knows his partner.

(And then a few times Filbrick's parenting shows up and Jack does need to step in.)

Uhhhhhh I got sidetracked just like you lol.

I agree "Bill" has some impulse control issues. Arguably, canon Ford has those already (as does Stan, in some ways, worse than Ford), and those just get dialed up to eleven for "Bill". "Bill" constantly trying to throw things into the shopping cart is just a sign of what is to come. Luckily, Jack has the patient of a saint. Jack also finds "Bill" incredibly attractive, which definitely helps with his tolerance for the odd behaviors lol.

[pondwatergulper]

Bandersnatch

My family is completely done with hearing about this movie and putting my friends through long-winded movie rants feels cruel, so here is me over-explaining Bandersnatch to the void that is Tumblr. Don't feel the need to read this, I just need to get my love of this movie out of my system for a little while, and that's all that tumblr is to me.

Huge Spoiler Warning From Here On:

The Plot

Let's get the hardest part out of the way first. The movie opens as our socially awkward protagonist, Stefan Butler wakes up on July 19th, 1984 to "Relax" by Frankie Goes To Hollywood and starts his day with Breakfast and the in-story choose your own adventure book "Bandersnatch." Stefan's father (Peter), comes into frame and asks Stefan what cereal he wants, Frosties or Sugar Puffs?

quick side tangent:

This is where one of the best and most genius aspects of the movie comes into play: Choice. Bandersnatch is a movie where your choice down to what cereal Stefan eats effects the plot and details. Every time a choice is presented to Stefan, you are given two choices and must answer in a few seconds or the movie will decide for you. If you make no choices, the movie goes for 1:30 and has a linear plot.

Back To The Plot

Depending on what cereal you choose later on in the movie there will be a commercial for that cereal. after this, Stefan's father asks him what he is reading and where he got it, Stefan explains it was a book he found in a box of his mother's things and it is a multiple choice story that he's actually made a game based off of that he is going demoing today. Stefan's father briefly acknowledges this and then goes on to complain about the neighbors dog digging holes in their back garden.

We then cut to Stefan riding on a double decker bus to his demo and we get our second choice of what music Stefan puts in his Walkman: That's What I Call Music 2 or Thompson Twins? This only plays the music until we make it to Tuckersoft and Stefan briefly mentions it when asked what music he likes.

Stefan walks into the building and after walking around for mere seconds he is bombarded by the excited Mohan Thakur who happens to also be the founder and namesake of Tuckersoft. Thakur introduces Stefan to Colin Ritman (Played by Will Poulter). Colin Ritman is a famous one-man game creator, Stefan is a huge fan.

After a few quips and an awkward conversation, Stefan demos the multiple choice game while explaining it's relation to the book who he says is by fictional author Jerome F Davies, who everyone humerously seems to only know because "he was that crazy bloke that did a bunch of drugs and cut his wife's head off" to which Stefan usually responds with an annoyed "well that's what people know him from". We learn of the main enemy of the book, Pax (also called the Bandersnatch, Pax Demon and the thief of destiny/choice). Regardless of Stefan's awkwardness and unfinished product, Thakur's interested. Thakur offers Stefan a spot in the studio with a small team for the game.

This becomes our first big choice: accept or refuse? If you accept, Stefan doesn't have enough time or freedom to finish the game and a popular television game reviewer gives it 0/5 stars when it comes out. If you decline the offer, the movie continues, becoming more and more unhinged with every new choice.

My Favorite Endings

The Meta ending:

After some time and a drug trip, Stefan starts to realize that he really isn't making decisions on his own. Someone is controlling every little thing he does, Whether he accepts or refuses the game deal, what music he listens to, and even whether or not he bites his nails or pulls his earlobe. He goes to his therapist whilst simultaneously trying to keep himself in control after we decide to put a message on his computer that he is a program on "Netflix" and he has a breakdown. The therapist starts out not believing him, saying "If this was some kind of television program, why is your life so boring? Why are these situations so mundane? Wouldn't you want to see more action?" This gives us a choice: Yes or Fuck Yeah. either choice causes a fight scene between the therapist and Stefan to break out, once this happens you get another rapid choice: Fight her or Leap out the window? Trying to leap causes someone to cut and move to a shot of the film studio while a director walks up with a script and explains that isn't a part of the movie, calling Stefan's actor "Mike," but Stefan's actor corrects her, saying "Stefan." This freaks everyone out and it is apparent that the actor is no longer the so called "Mike" but he is now confused Stefan who doesn't understand why he is currently on the set of his life. This gives me chills.

PAC (a semi ending)

After a rough day of therapy and throwing away/flushing Stefan's newly prescribed medication and coding difficulties, we get the choice: Pick up book or Family Photo? The book is on programing multiple choice and the family photo is a framed picture of little Stefan on a picnic with his parents. Stefan sits down with on his bed with the chosen item and then falls asleep. If we pick up the book, when Stefan wakes up late at night, he gets the insatiable urge to go into his father's room, steal his key ring, sneak into a never seen before locked room and go up to a password secure cupboard. This gives you two randomized choices, but you should get: Toy or Pac?

This is a good time to explain the meaning of these words.

Toy is easy, when Stefan was little, his mother was killed on an 8:45 train derailing because his father had hidden a rabbit that Stefan refused to separate from. His father thought this was "sissy" and hid it. Stefan refused to leave until he found his rabbit, so eventually his mother has to leave without him because she is already too late to get on the original train, so she must go on the train that crashes because Stefan's father hid his toy. PAC is a little stranger. After being coaxed out of the house and taken to his therapist's building without him knowing, Stefan sees Colin Ritman and we get the choice: Go to Therapy or Follow Colin? If we choose to follow Colin he takes us to his apartment flat and either drugs or convinces Stefan to take LSD tabs. This triggers a rant from Colin about how he basically knows he has no choice and how they are like PAC-Man, who is stuck in a maze of ghosts, unable to escape. He then claims PAC stands for "Program And Control" at the climax of their high.

Back to the ending.

If you input PAC, the cupboard unlocks and reveals a bunch of documents labelled "Program and Control Study" that Stefan starts to read. While he reads, we are shown flash backs to his life where it turns out everything was staged. His entire childhood, the Rabbit, and even his Mother's death on the 8:45 was staged and the experiment was lead by his father who was moving Stefan from memory to memory by drugging him with basically roofied pastries. After reading, Stefan looks to see his father in the door, claiming Stefan was never supposed to know or find out the way. Even his therapist was in on it. Stefan starts to cry and then kills his father. The movie then restarts. This scares me some nights and even weeks. I'm a bit vulnerable to these things.

The 5/5 ending

we are back at the scene where we put a message on Stefans computer. now we have the choice of a symbol that looks a lot like the symbol on a flowchart that represents choice. If we pick this, Stefan has a mental snap, starts running around and mumbling about how he is not in control. His father does not understand and we get the choice: Kill Dad or Back off? If we choose to kill dad, Stefan tries to hold back, but ends up grabbing a cigarette tray and smacking Stefan's father over the head, killing him. We then cut to a very calmed down Stefan, walking around his father, looking up (acknowledging you) and asks "What do I do?" we can choose either: Bury body or Chop up body? If we chop up the body, Stefan is no longer bothered by his father and has enough time to go to his therapist and finish the game. We then cut to the game reviewer reviewing Stefan's game a 5/5 but then we receive a news story-esc narration that shortly after that review, Stefan was arrested for the murder of his father and the game was taken off of shelves, where a girl named Pearl Ritman (Colin Ritman's "legacy" daughter) who found a copy of Bandersnatch and decided to make a modern recreation of it for Netflix. after the news interview and narration end, we center of Pearl working on the project, (which is the game we are playing right now) not realizing she has become a part of it. The game crashes due to a glitch when she tries to run it and we get the choice: Destroy computer or Poor tea over computer? no matter what we do, Pearl destroys her monitors and computer and credits roll.

My Irrelevant Critiques

I hate that this is a Black Mirror piece

I don't know why, but this movie occasionally feels cheapened by it's references to the main Black Mirror Franchise. The cute little references to Black Mirror episodes in Colin's game titles are cute, but the news articles, play test references, the White Bear symbol, the hospital name, everything is just so grounded in reference. I wish that the White Bear Symbol wasn't so grounded to that episode, because I swear to God I think I'm the only one that didn't like that episode and honestly Black Mirror isn't all it's chopped up to be. It's mostly good, sometimes great and sometimes SUPER CRINGE and superficial. I think this movie should have been mostly stand alone.

Final Words

There are so many other endings and tidbits that I love and adore about this movie, like Colin's hallucinogenic speech (which is off-putting, hilarious and interesting all at once), Kitty Ritman (Colin's wife I didn't even get to mention), the replay value of every ending and the amazing cinematography, acting, etc, but that would make this very long. I hate to say it, because this is probably a bad opinion, but this is probably my favorite movie ever. I wish this was just like a post concert depression type thing where I'll go back to thinking Coraline or Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy are the be all end alls in a month or two, but it's been over three years and I am still completely obsessed with this movie, it's program and it's actors and writers, so I don't think I'll ever stop loving it. It's also pretty surprising that I like it this much, because I'm more of a comedy/satire guy, so I think you can take it from me.

I can't recommend this movie enough, and if you are interested, you're gonna wish you went in blind.

Rating 5/5 Stars, and the creator hasn't even been put in prison for manslaughter yet!

[densi-mber]

Meant to Be

A/N: I’m taking advantage of this prompt to continue yesterday’s story. Once again, suggested by @mashmaiden.

***

“What’s next on the agenda?” Kensi asked, peeling down the paper wrapping on her burrito. She sat beside Deeks, Rosa on his other side as they peered at the very thorough plan he’d arranged for today’s college visit.

They’d set up a little picnic outside the same fountain she’d stopped by during her own visit so many years ago. A lot had changed since then, but the park and fountain remained the same.

“After we finish eating, I want to show Rosa the pre-law department and introduce her to a few faculty,” Deeks replied. He was practically radiating excitement, which seemed to be transferring to Rosa. Over the course of the morning, she’d become more enthusiastic, and even opened up more about her career preferences.

“Not the one who called you a worthless hippy, right?” Rosa checked, a little apprehensively.

“Definitively not. He retired years ago, thank god.”

“Oh good.” Rosa sighed in relief. “That sounds fine. Then maybe we can visit the art department.”

“We can definitely do that. Ooh, and we have to stop off for ice cream before we leave,” Deeks said. “So what do you think, you want to come here, right?”

“Babe, don’t pressure her,” Kensi protested, lightly smacking his shoulder with the back of her hand.

“It’s ok,” Rosa assured her with a smile. “I’m making a list of pros and cons for every college we visit. I promise I won’t make any hasty decisions.”

“Well in that case, my alma mater is pretty good too. I bet I could get you a private interview with the president.” Kensi gave Rosa a pointed look.

“True, but I’d argue the law program isn’t quite as good,” he argued.

“You know, I actually thought about coming here,” Kensi shared. “I got as far as writing my acceptance letter.”

“What made you change your mind?” Rosa asked curiously.

“I received a full-ride scholarship to Cornell.” She shrugged. “I couldn’t really afford to turn it down.”

“Miss Fancy Pants,” Deeks teased with a fond wink. “I only got tuition covered. Which I’m of course very grateful for.” He shot Kensi a warning look, probably just in case she felt compelled to mention how he closed the financial gap.

They were quiet for a few minutes while they dug into their food, and Kensi continued to look around the campus. It felt strange to think that she had ever been as young as Rosa, or the students scurrying around, making decisions that would impact the rest of her life.

“The day I came here, I got really lost,” she reminisced.

“Kensi Marie Blye admitting a weakness? Shocking.”

“Shut up. I was 17 and the map they gave me was awful.” Turning to face Deeks, she continued. “I bet you got lost your first day too.”

“Maybe,” Deeks allowed. “But by my second semester, I was a tour guide and I learned all the secrets. I was like a muggle Fred and George Weasley.”

“It’s funny you should mention that, because a tour guide helped me out.”

Deeks frowned, a look of dawning realization crossing his face. “Wait, what did this guy look like?”

Kensi had to force her mind back twenty or so years. “Uh, tall with long blonde hair, blue…no.” Kensi dropped to a shocked whisper, staring at Deeks in disbelief. “You were the guy.”

“And you were the girl who almost hit me,” Deeks finished.

“Why did you try to hit him?” Rosa cut in, sounding intrigued.

“I did not almost hit him, and if I did, it was because he surprised me.”

“You also flirted with me.”

“That was just me being friendly,” Kensi insisted.

“Uh-huh.”

“You know what, I think we should talk about that hair.” She turned to Rosa. “It was shoulder length.”

“Ok, that’s a bit of an exaggeration and long hair was in style.”

“Do you have any pictures?” Rosa asked eagerly.

“No, not from around then,” Kensi said with a hint of regret. “But I’m sure Roberta does.”

“That is absolutely not necessary,” Deeks said, taking a long drink from his cup. He shook his head. “I can’t believe I forgot I met you before.”

“Well, it was only for a few minutes, and we never exchanged names.” She leaned over and smoothed a tiny speck of hot sauce off his cheek, kissing the corner of his mouth. “The fact that you took the time to help out a lost teenager just further proves what a good guy you’ve always been.”

“It’s almost like it was meant to be,” Rosa mused with a dreamy smile. “Fate.”

“I can work with that,” Deeks said, tipping Kensi’s chin to kiss her in earnest.

[invui]

yin. remember the "when aruji-sama gives them their phone" heaccanon? can i request you on making one. of course, with the number and butler of your choice^^/

when master gives them their phone

why would i forget my very first hcs that i posted on this blog? i wrote this whole thing in 2 hours and the majority of it was trying to figure out a new layout so yay.

✧ ━ MIYAJI OLDIA

✦ this old man would be stuck on the camera app wondering on how the hell this works, he even accidentally burst shot his face like 20 times as he was figuring out how to take a video.

✦ he might’ve also stumbled across your photo gallery which he immediately left because he thought he was invading your privacy. in fact — he thought he was invading your privacy when you offered him your phone, he declined at first but accepted it since you kept insisting him even if you weren’t sure about this decision.

✦ after watching him struggle with literally the most simplest feature on your phone, you decided to lessen his trivial sorrow and asked him if he wanted to take a photo with the both of you in it — but uh oh, it seems like he managed to sneak in about 2 photos of you watching miyaji with genuine pity on your face.

✦ you were completely stunned by this sudden surprise but you couldn’t help but giggle at miyaji’s face while he was secretly doing it. this man’s eyes were squinting as if he had looked straight into the sun.

✦ after his succesful learning experience with the camera app, what’s a better fitting app that would catch his eye? the spotify (or insert any other music app) app of course!! if he finds out you don’t have spotify premium, he’s going to think the ads are really short songs and makes a mental of note that it’s the type of music you like listening toTT

✦ this is also an entrance for miyaji to find out what modern music is really like in your world. oh, you listen to mitski? miyaji will say that’s the equivalent to beethoven in his world. (lol)

✦ miyaji would try his best to find your playlists appealing even if he doesn’t like it. you would be nervous of him listening to your spotify because he is listening to it very intently with a serious expression on his face.

✦ after he’s done with his little modern music exploration, he’ll give your phone back with a smile on his face.

“Your taste in music surely does remind me of you.”

✧ ━ LATO BACCA

✦ were you asking for a death wish? maybe you were but the butlers were going to experience having a coded metal board thing that is widely used around the modern world sooner or later.

✦ the first thing lato does is to throw your phone, making you enter a panicked state of mind. well, he doesn’t technically throw your phone, he just questions himself out loud.

“Should I or should I not throw this across the room?”

✦ with you having to confiscate the phone from lato and having to set some boundaries, you give it back to him and watch him start to navigate your phone screen but he’ll accidentally close your phone due to his rather hard grip on it.

✦ lato would turn his head to look at you and directly ask for your password, maybe even with kitty eyes to convince you more.

✦ you tell him your password (or you just snatched it away from him and inputted your password) and lato is back to square one with the navigation screen.

✦ lato then proceeds to turn it off again and gives your phone back with a closed-eyed smile

“That’s enough for today, hm?”

✧ ━ FLURE GARCIA

✦ he accepted your offer despite being nervous himself even though it should be you who’s the most anxious between the both of you.

✦ his nervousness would end by hearing that you’ll show him photos of you wearing different clothes. flure has never been so excited in his life to be seeing someone’s clothes on a foreign gadget, especially if it was his master! with this, he gets to understand your fashion sense a bit more so he could make clothes that you would personally like.

✦ his eyes would shine brighter than the stars when he sees your self portraits and it makes you smile yourself seeing flure so mesmerized, well he has changed his expression into a disgusting one when he sees a photo of you he dislikes.

✦ this boy would be even happier when you offer to print these photos as references. how could he say no to this? it’s better than having to do it by memory that’s for sure.

✦ the both of you would just be stuck together talking about your favorite outfits while flure is taking mental notes of this, he’s already thinking of new designs to make inside of his head with new inspirations appearing from left to right.

“I promise to make you a new outfit when I get references!”