#deep down he'd probably find me annoying and awkward in a bad way and having too much baggage

[fawnbong]

"Nepo Baby" - Ramshackle

Tré x Reader

Romantic

Headcanons

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The only cool thing about Tre is his bodyguard COME HERE MAMACITAA 😝😝😝

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I'm not writing that accent mark out past the title ok thx

IGNORE THE CORNY TITLE I BEGGGG I JUST REALLY LIKE THE SONG

Tre's mind is always racing, clouded with thoughts and responsibilities revolving around school, police work, family... He has no trouble with finding ways to busy himself. The same things that bring him so much stress are the very things he prides himself on— maintaining sky-high grades, diligence, and his work ethic.

His mom is pretty hot just go for her instead and save yourself the trouble

He thinks everyone hates him cuz his dad is rich and he's oober hardworking but actually just really annoying

Anything outside of the safety of his lavish home, prestigious private school, and tiring musical rehearsals, he has no interest in. Romance especially, and he seldom gains "crushes" or any secret admirers his way. On the rare occasion someone takes interest in him (and makes it obvious enough), he's confused, more freaked out than smitten, and would rather it just go away.

If he ever finds himself interested in another person, which is equally as rare, it's because he knows they like him, too. And he's so wimpy he'd sooner be caught dead than outwardly declaring his feelings for someone. He'll write (bad) love letters and halfway finished poems and simply never deliver them.

Something along the lines of an awkward, rushed "interrogation" occurs if you ever express outward interest in him. He'll pull you aside, clutching his notepad and pen close as if ready to interrogate you right on the spot. And he does. You're overwhelmed by a large barrage of questions and little to no time to answer, let alone process what he's even asking to begin with. But—after a long, winded rant on how he thinks you're kind of sub-par but he'd "maybe totally go consider the idea of a date if you want"— he simply asks, "Do you really like me?" (emphasis on the really) in an oddly quiet voice with a hint of vulnerability he seldom allows himself to express.

You do. He's stumped. He didn't think he'd get that far. He stupidly asks if that makes him your boyfriend now. It does not, of course, so he invites you on a date.

He insists on taking you out on a proper one, too, and is dead set on paying. He's got money—loads of it— and has no issue with spoiling you a little, even if it's just the first date. Even makes a big show of getting you whatever you want on the menu and dessert.

He's a wimp deep down, but essentially puts on a brave face for you (and for your view on him). Makes a big show of being protective and courageous around the more sketchy parts of town and especially around scraps, but the sound of a cat hissing from an alleyway has him jumping into your arms within milliseconds.

He's loyal, of course. Though, as much as he does really like you, he sincerely hopes you're someone he can take home and introduce to his parents. Maybe it shouldn't be a big deal to him, but it absolutely is, for he values their opinions and expectations so much. Probably becomes a minor issue if you're a scrap, but he wouldn't have much business with one, anyway. Regardless, he's hesitant on introducing you to his parents out of fear of criticism, or maybe judgement, or the possibility of being condemned from seeing "someone like you". I think you'd be fine if you were rich and cool and possibly a family friend, though.

Ok but like if you're a scrap 😬

Again, it's not like he'd have much business with a scrap unless it's to arrest them. He thinks they're dirty and mangy and very immoral (and probably carry multiple diseases), but then again, he's also pretty close-minded and sheltered. He probably hates your guts, at least at first, but can't help but admire your spunk and resilience. You can climb fences and buildings, eat food you find in dumpsters and survive (as much as it disgusts him), watch the sun set from the rooftops of abandoned buildings all you want— all while he gets sick whenever it's below 50⁰F and has to sit around and entertain his mom's parties late into the night. Sometimes he thinks he's just envious of your free lifestyle, almost neglecting to acknowledge your endless list of struggles. He almost feels small compared to you, despite being the one with a lavish home and more than enough food to eat. You intimidate him, yet draw him in. If you weren't funny and sharp, he'd have thrown you in jail looong ago.

Still wants to keep the "relationship" (situationship? Idk fix later) secret, for yours and his sake. He actually doesn't want you to rot away in a jail cell, believe it or not (though you'd probably break your way out, anyway). However, he will quietly slip you money and food whenever he can and always leaves his window unlocked past 10:00 PM for you to slip in and quietly hang out for a bit, maybe even spend the night if you clean up a little. Says you absolutely have to sleep on the floor lest you dirty his silk sheets, but eventually scoots over and ushers you over because he's worried you'll get sick and die or something.

Most definitely keeps a diary and most definitely tells it about you. He's sure to keep it secret (but does a poor job), rambles about your concerning lifestyle and abnormal street skills tucked away safely under his bed of all places. He doesn't say it, and probably never will, but he thinks you're quite impressive.

Really loves stressing himself out and his work, and he'd respectfully prefer it if you'd stay out of it. Though, someone of his age should never have eye bags that dark. So it's not uncommon for you to sneak into his study to drag him away from his work, just for a bit. He complains and nudges you away, threatens to lock you outside on the balcony while he gets some work done, but gives in with enough persuasion. He says "just for a bit" as well, but it's never just for a bit—maybe a couple hours or so of mindless conversation and catching up on some well-needed sleep.

As much as he feels he should keep you and the entire relationship a secret, whether it's out of embarrassment or worry, he can't help but let a few things slip around Maroon. He feels he can trust her enough to know she won't go off and tattle on him—it's not like she'd get any heat for keeping a secret or two for him—and she gives half decent advice most of the time. He just wants to know which gift you'd like more, if you'd want to go to a nice park or maybe watch a play from the balconies of the theater, if it's too soon (or too late?) to drop the "L word". Thankfully, Maroon knows most of the answers to his woes and is swift to give him some reassurance before resuming her chaperone-bodyguard duties.

He owns a gun but probably shouldn't be trusted with one, it's more there for intimidation than anything. Probably pulled it on you during one of your earliest interactions, thinking it would get you to surrender or turn yourself in or stop being homeless or something (IF YOU'RE A SCRAP NOT LIKE A RICH PERSON LMAO) and has never done it since. Realized he doesn't really like scaring you shitless after that.

Openly whines to you about police work and student life, but it's different. Before, he was somehow both reserved and so open, loudly voicing his daily stressors without a care but only for a brief moment before simply carrying on. Now, he'd rather not come off as so whiny and annoying, for he begins to care a little more about your opinion on him. And he feels he can go more into detail about them, as well. It's not just "police work" that stresses him out, it's racing from opposite sides of the city to deliver important paperwork or gather information instead of handling real criminals like a real cop, and it's not just "school work" that drains him, but what he fears he may face if his diligence slips for one moment. It's rare, and you're probably the only person he can truly confide in since literally who else could he go to besides the bodyguard in her mid-twenties in the room over? He'd rather not bug her with his weird teenager life.

Despite his constant complaining seeming like he's just complaining to complain, he actually is quite overworked and has a lot to balance all at once. he attends a prestigious private school and his father is the chief of police (I think at least), his grades are pretty impressive and are expected to stay that way, he absolutely must score the lead roles in every seasonal play (he kind of just wants to), and hobos like to give him a hard time while he's out and about in the city trying to solve cases and pinpoint clues and evidence—anything to make his dad proud, of course. Your constant check-ups and unwavering concern does not go unnoticed and are actually very appreciated.

---

He's actually a decent singer. He kind of has to be, since he's forced into so many musicals and dramas. His voice is better cut out for a loud, boisterous lead role, but he enjoys humming or mumbling quiet songs to himself while at work in his private study and it's, unsurprisingly, just as good, if not better. He's probably super apprehensive about showing off his sick theater skills in front of you and downplays them a lot because, as much as he wants to impress you, that's probably one of the most embarrassing things he could put himself through. What is his voice cracks? He can, with enough prodding and coaxing, give you the most quiet, brief demo before promptly shutting up. He likes to think he's pretty good at what he does, but he'd much rather keep it in the theater. With time I think he'd become a lot more comfortable and okay with silly things like singing and dancing and just living life like a normal dude but he doesn't really understand that so whatevs

A/N: ni hao fine shyts 😛 this took a while and I'm partially sorry

Hope it was long enough cuz I wrote almost all of it out tonight and I'm tired (I've been dilly dallying the past week or so)

ALSO sorry for any grammar issues I'm not proof reading this but I mayyyy later so idk we'll find out

[cauldron-of-oddities]

It's about two hours to midnight for me. Enjoy the silliness inspired by my yuletide tipsiness.

Apples are lovely.

Had he known what the evening had in store for him, he might not have come. But well, Jinx’s pretty pleading eyes and the promise of fancy snacks had convinced him. And ok, possibly the promise of causing some (minor) mayhem at a Pilty party was too good to pass up.

So here they were, at a house so posh it made him want to gag. Before he could ask how she got an invite to a place like this, Jinx was talking. “Sickening, isn't it? And you know what's the worst?

“It's built on cursed ground?” He jokes.

“No. This, this is Vi's girlfriend's place and it's her party”

Damn, she was glad she brought Ekko along, her grounding force when dealing with her sister, her best friend, her partner in crime for pranks, her ‘I would really like you to be kinda more than a friend’ friend but well, he's never shown any interest like that. Also, who would be interested in such a scrawny chaotic person? But she has different fish to fry tonight. Those fish? To annoy her sister, scandalise her sister's girlfriend, and find the perfect place for a glitter bomb.

Jinx gears up to ring the bell when the door slams open with a force that could only herald Vi. “Pow! You made it and Ekko, too! Awesome! Come on. Get in!”

Looking at all the luxury within Ekko had to control the impulse to take or break something. Or maybe that was a response to the grimace Jinx had on her face to Vi using Jinx's old nickname. Either way, self-control was the name of the game, and he worried for Jinx. Grabbing Jinx's hand and rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand and wrist, he could feel some of the tension leave her. The little action did not go unnoticed by Vi, who only raised her eyebrow. But before she could make any remarks, a voice sounded from behind her.

“Ah, hello there” from a rather tall woman in a dress that was definitely made to flatter and in all likelihood cost more than he'd earn in a week, startled him out of his thoughts.

After a more than awkward introduction to Caitlyn, aka the ‘cupcake’ - he could see why She was sweet, almost too sweet. - and being led to a spacious living room, he had to conclude the party was not too bad, the pleasant hum of different people chatting (even if it was a bit stiff, should he take a page out of Jinx's book and spike some punch? There was probably a good bottle of strong booze in this house. The food was good (even if the canapes were a tad pretentious), and the person he'd found to talk to was interesting. Viktor, also from Zaun and could actually follow Ekko when he started about his inventions.

Jinx, in the meantime, had, with all the grace of a lazy cat, flopped down onto an ostentatious looking couch that was decidedly not comfy. All looks and design and no plush. Bad couch. Ekko had left her with her sister to go socialise himself and enjoy all the food by the looks of it. So here she was feeling all sorts of awkward and frustrated, only made worse by Caitlyn joining Vi on the other couch and being particularly lovey dovey with each other. So, her sister was smitten with wealthy, tall, dark, and busty. The cupcake must have a whole hoard of admirers, and she steals her sister.

Her expression must have been something because Vi looked up and asked her what she was glaring about.

“You. You sold your soul for fancy clothes, canapes, and a pair of cantaloupes!” As Jinx said it, she couldn't stop herself, glancing down rather forlornly at her own chest. “What? You jealous? Vi asked with a laugh.

Jinx grumbles under her breath and turns to look at Ekko on the other side of the room in his own conversation. Hoping that he'd look up and come save her from her rather awkward predicament.

Sniggering Vi can't stop herself when she follows her sister's stare. “Heh, apples are good too, just ask Little man”

Jinx thinks to herself that blushes should not be allowed to go that deep. As she feels herself flush from cheeks down to her stomach where the already jittery butterflies up their dance to another level. “What do you mean?”

“People have different tastes?” Vi suggests with another laugh. “Here, let's ask him”

“What!? No!” Oh, let the world swallow her whole. This was not happening.

“Hey! Little man!” Vi called out as she put Jinx in a headlock when Jinx tried to pounce on her and muffled another rather panicked “No!” Ekko looked up from his conversation “Yeah?”

“Come settle something for us.” Vi said. Seeing Jinx and Vi wrestling made both nostalgia and suspicion rise in him, why oh why did this feel like some sort of trap? “You prefer apples or melons?” The question seemed innocent enough but well to be safe: “Why are we debating fruit?”

“Humour me. Little man.” Vi's tone leaves no room for further explanation. “Ok, ok. Apples. They fit into your hand better, and less messy peeling is involved.”

It couldn’t have been a better answer Vi thought as she doubled over and started howling with laughter and Caitlyn joined in by sniggering politely behind her hand though the snort that escaped cracked some of the prim and proper princess look. Jinx, however, looked utterly mortified.

Jinx was sure she's completely crimson by now. A jumbled mess of feeling bubbled up violently in her, and all she wanted was to run away from the embarrassment. Everything becoming just a bit too much. She throws a pillow at Vi and then one at Ekko for good measure (does he even realise what he said!?) and runs out of the room.

With complete confusion, now holding the pillow flung at his face, Ekko turns toward Vi for some sort of clarification. “What…? Um, we were talking about fruit, right? Right?” an odd sort dread settled in his stomach.

“Yeah, we were talking about fruit and different tastes, Ekko. Don't worry.” Vi managed to get out between the laughter.

Don't worry. Vi had said, but with how Jinx stormed off, he was worried though, had he made her lose the debate? Was said debate even about fruit? And that there might be a glitter bomb going off way too early. Seeing Jinx upset never sat well with him. He liked her happy and smiling (preferably at him). Wondering in which direction she went and if he should follow her, Caitlyn got up. “I'll have a quick look for her. It is my house, I know the best hiding spots.”

This house was a winding maze, but Jinx did have to admit all the different rooms made for easy hiding. Eventually, Jinx found herself in one of the bathrooms. One hidden away, a good hallway removed from the living room where the party was. Oh, hell. She'd wanted a rise out of her sister, for her to feel some of her frustration at her leaving and leaving for a Pilty no less! Instead, she got hit over the head with her insecurities, and Vi yet again teased her about Ekko. Was she that evident? Why hadn't Ekko picked up on it after all these years? Was she just not attractive enough?

Mumbling to herself and looking in the mirror

Jinx splashed some cold water onto her burning cheeks, only for her thoughts to stray. To what Ekko said. How with one remark all sorts of terrible ideas start running through her head. Oh, she wouldn't mind his hands on her apples so to speak, wouldn't mind kissing and teasing him for such a remark either… shaking herself from her daydream she takes stock of her rather casual crop top, just a t-shirt model. She hadn't wanted to put any effort into getting dressed to go to a party she didn't want to. She sort of regrets it now.

A soft laugh sounds from behind her. In the mirror, she sees Caitlyn holding a rather pretty crop top. V- neck halter, black and covered in sequins. And damn it, it's just her sort of thing. “You know, if, by what Vi says is true and his reaction after you ran off, your friend is rather smitten with you regardless.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Looking for you, with a peace offering so to speak. Look I like your sister a lot, so give me a chance?” Holding up the top.

“And why would I fit into anything of yours?”

“Because it is not mine, it is for you. Your sister is terrible at shopping but surprisingly good at picking things others would like. Anyway she saw it in a store I was shopping at, said this would be your thing, panicked at the price and considering your birthdays round the corner I got it. Or rather, to put it bluntly, I am not above a bit of bribery for the sake of peace.”

Eyeing the top with suspicion and interest she makes a grab for it and before Caitlyn can blink she's swapped tops and is tying the new top back.

“You know what cupcake, you get points for blatant bribery”

Jinx won't say thank you to the damn princess, but her boobs look the bomb in this top, still small, but it made the curves she did have appear just that bit more alluring. Jinx giggled to herself. If, what miss not so proper after all said was true then… could she get that opening? It was embarrassing, but at the same time, she'd also been handed prime teasing material.

Caitlyn doesn't need vocal thanks. She can wait it out. Besides the preening in the mirror and the little mumble about Ekko were telling enough.

“Stop worrying, Caitlyn has a way with people”

“Yeah, but I feel like I said something wrong, but she likes apples, so why?”

“Here, have some pie, different question: you and my sister”

Ekko almost chokes on the bite he takes and Vi hits him a few times on his back.

He looks up at her like a deer in headlights.

“We're best friends, she wouldn't see me that way.”

“So you're interested?”

“Uh.” Ekko searched his brain for a way to get out of this conversation.

“Because I think she is too, and with me being away, it would actually put my mind at ease a bit.”

She sounded sincere, and he'd be lying to himself if he denied the bubble of hope rising in him. Taking another bite of the pie, apples with a bit of bite and spice, he wondered what would have set Jinx off. Apples are palm sized and easy to peel, so what was it about that? The thought trails off when Jinx comes back in, Caitlyn behind her. Her previously plain, if cute top had been replaced with an upgraded and definitely more festive version, and he felt part of his rational mind abandon him as his eyes trailed the deep neckline.

“Cupcake, your back, I missed you.”

“I was gone all of fifteen minutes, maximum Vi. Are you sure you missed me?”

“Of course I did and your lovely melons” As Vi cheekily nuzzled Caitlyn's chest”

“... really? Come on, behave.”

Ekko, still a little star stuck, only catches half the conversation, but it's enough for the penny to drop, a whole bag of them even. Melons as breasts… apples or melons, melons, or apples. Perfectly palm sized. Palm sized apples, Vi's question, apples…, Jinx a lovely colour of crimson, apples… Jinx in a lovely top that would probably peel right off…he'd said apples. Oh hell, that wicked pretty grin he loved was back on her face as she took a bite out of an apple that had appeared out of nowhere. He was sure he would never be able to look at the fruit or her the same way again. His fingers twitched. Was he terrible thinking he'd really like to touch?

To add to his internal crisis, Jinx’s following words were devastating in the way that he was fairly sure his sanity had exited the building.

“Want a bite?” She leaned forward, holding out the apple for him. As she did, he swore it was on purpose, and he did his best to keep his eyes on her face. Also, a mistake as now all her smile seemed to tell him was to lean forward too. What happened next may as well be worse.

“What if I said I wanted it peeled?” Dread dropped on him like a stone. He did not just say that. He had, though, hadn't he? Umm, fuck, seemed it was his turn to run away.

Feeling the heat in his cheeks, he stumbled over the edge of one of the couches and, with some sort of trip, turned towards the nearest exit, the balcony. He entirely missed the satisfied smile that crossed her face only to immediately fall when he ran. Outside as the cool air hit him, a sigh of relief escaped him, crossing his arms on the balustrade and letting his forehead fall onto them he barated himself for letting that slip out. Damn, what if this made their friendship weird?

He heard the click of a door, and he peaked over his shoulder. Leaning against the balcony door, Jinx stood with her arms wrapped around her, and her shoulders hunched. A deep crease on her forehead. Seeing her look so dejected made him want to reach out.

“Did I read you wrong? I’m sorry I'll go. I know I'm just your friend, I know I'm not pretty girlfriend material.”

Not pretty, not girlfriend? No, that would not fly. “Fuck! You are beautiful! I thought you weren't interested.” It burst out of him before he could stop himself. She startled at his exclamation. But she was looking at him now.

Sod his dignity, right now there was someone more important and unless he was terribly terribly wrong, a blatant invitation. Heart beating rapidly in his throat, he dove in, consequences be damned.

“And for your information, I stick to my apple preference. They're absolutely lovely, and so is the person with them, even if she gives me whiplash sometimes.” He said with a wry smile.

The look of dismay gave way to a shy grin. “Yeah?” She stepped closer to him.

Really, he couldn't be blamed for what he did next, certainly not with her mirroring his action of leaning into one another. His hand reached for hers and pulled her to him that final inch.

A warm hand on hers, her butterflies fluttering up to her head and then, soft full lips against her chapped ones, just a quick caress against her, over way too soon. Looking up at half lidded eyes, clouded with something like disbelief, she reached up and laced her fingers through his dreads. A shared look sparking between them, and they came back together again, this time with more confidence. Her mind pleasantly blank, just the sensation of the soft pressure of him against her mouth. It made her lips part in response. It was all the invitation he needed to deepen the kiss. His hands moved to circle round her waist and tealingly trace the bare skin there. A quiet gasp escaped her as one hand crept up to run along the curve of her breast, and his tongue brushed against hers. A high-pitched sound escaped her.

He pulled away. “You ok?”

“Hmmm” She looked dazed as she looked up at him and nuzzled her nose against his.

Giggling, she smoothes her fingers over his cheeks and back to his hair, tugging him back down, her breath still slightly irregular.

Shy was making way for confidence and mischief and he rather liked that. Falling into another kiss.

“So does this mean I get to call you boyfriend?”

“Does this mean I get to call you girlfriend?”

She hit him on the chest for that.

“Yes.” Joy jumping from the word.

“Vi's going to tease us to hell and back, isn't she?.”

“Let her. Sister dearest is probably too busy canoodling with the melon flavoured cupcake anyway.”

“So, what now? Go back in and pillage some more snacks?”

“Or, You could kiss me again.”

He did not need to be told twice. Angling down his lips to hers and rather cheekily sneaking his hand up to the curve of her breast again, he revelled in the soft noises that escaped her. Fuck the fancy canapes his mouth and he had other business tonight Ekko decided right then.

That was until she suddenly pulled away with a dead serious expression, her lips tingling “Ok. So do we give the cupcake and my double crossing sister a pass for the top? Or do we still plant the glitter bomb?”

Between the wicked grin, the distracting cleavage, kiss reddened lips, he decided he'd do whatever the hell she wanted. Causing a bit of mayhem with his girl sounded like a blast.

[threegoldfish]

Steven listens, and Steven... thinks, yeah. Considers. Has his gaze drop away, focusing on the little potted plant that still sits there, on Harrow's desk - the succulent - and breathes, in and out.

He's never talked about this, about himself - about what he does, what he feels like, what he... thinks might be going on. To have another person offer him insight from a different perspective is really doing something to him here, has Steven mull it all over; He swallows, fingers continuing to pull and tug on his own knuckles, picking on little flaps of dried skin around his nails...

"But... y'know, if I talk a lot about whatever interests me, but others aren't interested in any of it... y-yeah, maybe they don't immediately dislike me, but it's... it's about me still, no? They will find it hard to interact with me, and therefore they will like me less, because there's... there's nothing going on that would... that would cause a connection to be there." Another swallow and Steven's dark gaze is back on the doctor, brows lifted ever so slightly, a bit furrowed, obvious confusion written into his deep irises.

"I just... I just seem to not know how to do proper small-talk. I never got the hang of it. Never understood any of why people talk about certain things, or when it's appropriate to mention something, when it's not. ---Many awkward moments, many where I thought I was getting somewhere, just for me to never hear back..."

Sadness, again - clinging to spoken syllables, a soft tilt of his voice indicating for it to be the case. Steven blinks, looks down at his own hands again...

"I-if one keeps... to bridge in a certain kind of way... a way others don't understand, don't enjoy... i-it means that, at some point, they will start to dislike the other person. Things just won't fit and match up, a-and... and then it's... over, y'know? So... in a way, while it's probably not about liking or disliking to begin with, it can lead to being disliked, and to find someone annoying, to think they're too much, a burden, pulling on other's nerves. They'll start to think you're weird, you're odd, something must be wrong with you, a-and... well, that's just how it is, then..."

---Steven could really go for a cup of water there, or something else. Maybe a sweet, fizzy drink - a pop. He does not ask, nor does he try to figure out if he even could have something like that to begin with - he just swallows again and looks back up, almost shy in nature, but... moved by everything. Very, very moved.

Thinking about oneself is... it's a lot. It's hard as well, to keep remembering the sad moments, the disappointing situations of where he'd thought he'd found a friend but ended up never getting a text - or a call - back from them.

Harrow suggested for Steven to keep a closer look on how others might try to bridge out to him, and Steven chews along the inside of his bottom lip, considers it as well, before he nods. This is part of his therapy, after all, and... well, he's eager to give his best here, to possibly figure out why he's sleep-walking, all of that. Wants to work together with the doctor rather than against him.

"---Y-yeah, I... I will try, yeah. ...To see how others might bridge out to me, I mean. N-not sure if something will ever happen, b-but... but I will try." It's all he can do, and everything he always does, after all - trying. To just keep trying, again and again and again. To get back up and try, to push forward and try, even if he's being pushed back during the process.

Steven doesn't even know why, not really, but... he feels like he has to do it. He has to try, he has to keep standing and do this, whatever it is. As if he's carrying some sort of responsibility there. Why he does, or for whom he might be doing it? No idea, not at all. But it feels essential, like something really, really bad is going to happen if he stops at some point.

---He doesn't want bad things to happen, to he goes on. That's just how it is.

Another nod, another inhale of air, with Steven looking back at Harrow once again - shifting a bit on his seat, shoulders pulled up, back curved.

Arthur didn’t interrupt nor look away, his expression instead softening the longer Steven spoke. His entire posture relaxed piece by piece, the ache from the day slowly easing out of him; every word was a gift, and Steven gave them so freely. It was… fascinating, being given so many things that he was trusted to hold. Even as Steven rambled or his voice dipped into apologies, Arthur remained fully with him. 

He wasn’t impatient, as there was nothing to be impatient over; Steven was giving so much. He was offering so much of himself, over and over, and then feeling shame for having done so; why? Because the world had told him that everything he gave was unwanted? Was that even possible, being what he was? Had Marc allowed Steven out before this, for significant enough amounts of time? Had Steven existed in the ‘real world’ for long enough to be trained into these beliefs, or was he created this way by Marc? 

These weren’t fair thoughts to be having, part of him whispered. There was a sort of cruelty, in denying Steven his existence, even in private. 

He hated seeing the way the shame set in, when Steven finished. He looked like a kicked puppy, over nothing at all; forcing himself to stop talking. The emotions were real. The disorder was real. That was what made it so fascinating; and so devastating. It ached to know that someone who wasn’t truly meant to live in this world could still learn to hurt. 

“Steven,” he said quietly, just to try and pull the man’s focus back to the real world. “You’re not doing that, right now. You’re sharing something personal. You’re opening up in a space that’s meant for you to talk - that’s not rambling. That’s not taking up too much space. You’re trusting me with something real, and I’m honored by that. Nothing means more to me than that.” 

He was painfully sincere with that; he loved when people opened up to him. He loved when he could finally get to the point of this level of trust, when he could be something beyond himself. It pushed him to the point of tears, sometimes. 

“I know you believe that you’re too much. I can hear how deeply that’s been pressed into you, probably from a very young age - but, Steven, people didn’t walk away because you were wrong.” He knew that those words would only do the little they could; reassurance in these things was hard, when reality so often disproved what was said. 

“I know how hard it is to untangle what’s true from what’s familiar. Especially when your experience has trained you to expect disappointment - to watch for that ‘gaze’. But I want you to hear this from me, clearly - your excitement, your knowledge, this desire to connect - none of those things are bad. None of them make you a burden.” 

Another pause, just to let it settle - Arthur glanced to Steven’s hands for just a moment, before shifting. “I think what you’ve learned to do, over time, is try to protect yourself before anyone else gets the chance to hurt you. You back away from asking things from others - like help with the puzzle - because if you don’t ask then they can’t reject you. I think you’re trying to stay small, so that no one thinks you’re too big.” 

It wasn’t living, of course. It was surviving - and it was a painful way of survival. A cycle of self hatred, of worrying over how you were perceived, of trying to push into something that you weren’t; it was a bad, bad cycle. It was a hard one to break, just because it could constantly reinforce itself - it’d take work. 

“You said you like documentaries,” he continued. “And reading. And you’ve done puzzles. I think that for you, information might be the bridge to other people - the way you reach out. I think that’s a beautiful thing - but it’s vulnerable, too. It’s close to yourself, it’s sharing something very deep to your core.” 

Arthur tapped a knuckle lightly on his notebook, trying to anchor himself fully to the thought. His voice stayed gentle as he spoke; measured, but firm. 

“Not everyone knows how to cross that kind of bridge. Not everyone connects through facts or history the way you do - and when they turn away, it’s easy to get things confused. When you show them these things that are so close to yourself, and you see them turn away, it’s easy for you to think that they’re turning away from you. But the reality is that they probably just aren’t interested in history, or information, or reading. And that’s not something against you.”

He shifted his head, wetting his lips softly. “I do the same thing, a lot. I like to speak very clinically. I like to connect to people through the head, more than the heart - I like to solve people’s problems, or tell them what I think might be bothering them. That’s how I bridge. And not everyone wants someone solving their problems, or telling them what they should do. That doesn’t mean they don’t like me. It just means that they don’t like being bridged out to in that way.”  

It was a difficult thing, for people like this. Arthur understood, because to some point he was the same; it was easy to forget that everyone was different, to some extent. It was easy to take rejection of action as the rejection of self.

“I don’t want you to change how you bridge out to people. But I would like for you to try and see how other people are trying to bridge out to connect with you - even if it might be hard to see, at first. Just over the next few days, if you can. See if you can find some people who connect with kindness, or jokes, or sharing food. You don’t have to mimic it, I don’t want you to - but I’d like you to notice it.” 

[yandere-sins]

Ok but like… can you do some yandere NSFW könig headcanons? Like if you disobeyed him and you were crying and scared of the punishment but he has to do it but he’s super horny I’m sorry ignore if it’s too thirsty I’m down bad 😩😩😩

You, me, everyone lol. Thank you guys for being down bad for this anxious bad boy, I love him too ♥

Rated Lemon, 18+

»»———————— ♡ ————————««  

♡ If you put huge body mass, anxiety, and social awkwardness in one man, you cannot expect him not to absolutely simp for his darling in any and all ways possible to mankind. Of course, he tries so hard to make you like him and gain your favor until you finally cave in and comply with him asking you to come to him for cuddles. König didn't know he'd get a massive boner the moment you straddle his hips either, but well... now it's there, and he's biting his lip to the point of drawing blood, ready to fall to his knees, begging you not to abandon him once you notice and jump off him. If you don't notice it right away, mistaking the boner for his muscled thighs, you'll probably find out about it from his heavy panting and strangled breaths as he barely lasts a few seconds before cumming in his pants. He's so fucking ashamed and still so fucking hard afterward that it's painful.

♡ I know the real question is: Does he whimper? And tl;dr: He whimpers. It's such a glorious, stammering mess when his cock gets the tiniest bit of attention. König thanks, moans, praises, and then thanks you some more for the opportunity to fuck you, disregarding if you were on board before he started his merciless thrusts or not. Up to climax, he is all but praising the lord for how beautiful, amazing, and enhancing his life you are, and how tight, warm, wet, and well you're taking him. He loves you, he loves you, he loves you. Only to then, abruptly, grow quiet, breath halting as his body tenses, a strangled squeak escaping him as his cock pulses inside you, ready to release all this pressure that has built up for years. It might become a problem that he can't shut up in further sessions because he's downright annoying as he goes on and on while you're trying to reach your own orgasm somehow through the awful experience. But if you demand it from him, König will do his damn best, sounding like a miserable squeaky toy every time he thrusts into you and isn't allowed to say something. It's this hard for him to stay quiet.

♡ He's a huge premature ejaculator with too much stamina. No matter the reason you two are fucking—be it out of emotions overcoming you two or because he can't take it anymore and takes you out of uncontrollable need—König is all but over the moon over every touch or breath against his cock. If there's any warmth to plunge into (mouth/pussy/ass), he's cumming from the slightest stimulation, like a lick or his tip sliding in, only to then get a real taste as his hips move on their own, driving his cock deep inside with no restraints and his jizz as the lubricant. There's no holding back once he's inside you either, as he keeps plowing through both of you continuously reaching climax until he's finally satisfied. However, he still cums more times than you do, filling you up to the brim. I blame it on his lack of real-life experience, so over time and training, König, too, will last a little longer. Though this also means there really isn't a way to tease him for the first year of being caught up with him. König just cums from everything you do once he had a taste of you, even if it's just something like you having nothing clean to wear and putting on his shirt. The stains everywhere are abhorrent.

♡ I do totally believe that König's darling is likely his first and last relationship despite the... situation you two have with him kidnapping you and now using you as a cumdumpster as well. So he's still quite inexperienced, BUT he works incredibly hard to please you regardless. There are surprisingly a lot of tutorials these days on how to please your partner, and König is all too happy to try them on you. Making you cum ultimately also makes him cum, but he's genuinely doing it for you first and foremost, and it elates and motivates him to see you shivering and climaxing right in front of his eyes. There's something so satisfying in knowing he can do this to you, and it almost makes König believe if he keeps going, you'll fall in love with him at some point. He's too delusional to know when to stop or listen to you begging him to accept it when you say no. Once he starts fulfilling his desires, there's no way anyone can stop him. It's like fucking you becomes his second way of breathing.

♡ König probably wouldn't use sex as a harsh punishment. However, he really hates arguing with you (it upsets his anxiety badly), so if he finds out that he can stop arguments with his cock or fingers, there's a very high chance he'll use them against you. Listening to your gurgles or moans is like heaven after the hell every argument is for him, so he'd rather 'punish' you by facefucking you or fry your brain by having you hang from his thick fingers until you're a drooling mess. It's a charming way to stop unnecessary bouts of emotions, and once he learns to keep himself more in check, he'll be happy to leave you behind to go about his day after making sure you can't form any coherent thoughts anymore that would cause more arguing. It's like he resetting you back to more peaceful times, and it works well for him.

♡ While König doesn't like anything that can potentially harm you (he believes that sex should be nice and loving and a wonderful experience for you both while he forces you to take him like an animal), he does have his fair share of kinks. He's totally on board with trying everything once as long as it's between the two of you since he really doesn't like sharing you with anyone. His favorites will always be kinks that mark you in some way, be it covering you in cum, biting, scratching, leaving hickies, painting your inside whites (and all the kinks that support this), and watching it drip out of you as if that means you belong to him now. He also loves all kinds of things that enhance the experience, like groping, toys (though he gets childishly jealous of them), forcing you to roleplay (authority kink in both ways, baby!), foreplay sessions, etc. And when he does realize he might have worn you out, König will simply resort to using your worn underwear or getting off between your thighs to finish his session alone. Nothing compares to being inside you, but it's a pleasant alternative every once in a while.

♡ His curiosity, however, has led to a few reprehensible times, too, especially when it comes to applying his strength. His hands are just a bit too big when they wrap around your throat, and had he not snapped out of it, he might have snapped you. The same goes for being so lost in fucking you that he doesn't realize he's accidentally ramming you into the headboard or slamming you into a wall. Sometimes he won't realize he's squeezing the air out of your lungs with his weight on top of you. Occasionally, these things happen, and they ruin the mood for both of you. Worn out by PTSD, things become increasingly dangerous as he remembers moments from the battlefield, even though you are in front of him. It feels like he's trying to crush you with his arms until you panic and scream his name to pull him back to reality and out of the memories of him killing soldiers with his bare hands. König is so devastated whenever he does things like this, trying to get you comfortable by holding you and coddling you even though you want nothing more but to get away from him. He'll cry and apologize so much that the rest of the day is ruined, and he can never forgive himself for confusing you with a damn bastard on the battlefield. No matter how much you struggle, you won't be able to get out of his hold now either, as he needs to feel you as close as possible to know you're okay while he goes through a full-blown anxiety attack over what he did. But hey! At least you're alive... barely.

[heartssatoru]

Heyyyy! I was thinking of the fact I can be a slightly clingy GF and was wondering if you could do HCs on how the JJK boys would be with a slightly clingy GF. Megumi, Gojo, Itadori and Toge!!! Oh and Sukuna because I know you love him!

AHH THANK YOU!! I do infact love sukuna hehe🙏 but yeah of course! Thank you for the request!

megumi

Megumi secretly likes it.

But he's scared. Especially when you always try to be with him. Especially during missions, he doesn't wanna lose you.

If you also are the type to literally drown him in affection:

He'll push your hand away whenever you try to do anything. He's just awkward like that, n shy

If you stop he forces you to go back to doing what you were gonna do

He just gets really red cause he doesn't know how to respond

He acts like your clingeness is annoying but deep down he really does like it

Saw him smile slightly while you were playing with his hair? No you didn't.

He himself gets kinda clingy whenever he has a bad day, but he doesn't notice that.

Tease him about it and he'll face the other way, ignoring you. His face is extremely red.

Gojo

If your clingy, that's fine. Hes clingy too.

But like megumi. Does not want you getting hurt. He takes on missions that could result in you being killed.

So he has his reasons, however

He always teases you about it, saying how you can't resist him n stuff

Love's how you both be smothering eachother in kisses

Everytime he comes back from missions n stuff he always gets you something, especially if you get sad that he's not home.

(Everytime he comes home your arms are already wrapped around his waist)

And since he's so busy he gets you plushies of him, and only him.

"Since I know you love me so much hehe"

Itadori

Itadori enjoys it so much, he's not very clingy. But is at the same time.

Just uh.. sometimes it really gets to him and he starts crying a little

"Yuji are crying?" "Nuh uh! It's just my allergies" said in a shaky voice

Someone actually wants his company? Wow!!

Everytime hes home late he always apologizes and hugs you so tight.

You can't breath cause of it but aww! Hes suffocating you (with affection)

sometimes he'll be a little mean and tease you about it though.

gets so confused when he isn't welcomed with you smothering him in kisses as soon as he gets back

But when you do he starts giggling all happily. "Your so mean"

Toge

"Salmon"

Likes how you always cling onto him as soon as he's home. And finds it cute when you whine about him being gone for so long

He appreciates it a lot, and doesn't even move an inch whenever you're drowning him in affection

Mostly also cause he's kinda awkward, but not too much. (Not as much as megumi)

He always wants to be with you. But missions stop him from doing so.

Hes not really used being welcomed back with you and your affection, like the rest.

He doesn't mind it though, and he himself can be clingy too, like the rest (too lol)

He doesn't even know his cheeks are slightly red with everything you do

I can picture him being kinda clingy in certain situations too. But its kinda rare

Over all he's a little cutie, loves your clingyness and you.

Sukuna

Mocks you and makes fun of you, but thats no suprise.

Thats just how he is. He wont admit it if he likes it. But im being real here he'd probably use it as an insult

Even though he likes it, he wont admit it. He'll bully you about it😭

If you actually get upset he'll stay quiet cause he feels awkward. Won't bully you, as much.

However if you just ignore him he'll keep going. He just wants to get on ur nerves tbh

But still since he knows you love him so much he'll be like "of course your so needy for me"

Or something like that. He's clingy in certain situations, but thats extremely extremely rare.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Working on:

"Okay since you do write for Megumi I was thinking of a scenario where fem reader(if you do that) and Megumi have been together for awhile and new sorcerer starts at Jujutsu High and immediately develops a crush on him and reader gets insecure about it. How that would play out and how he would react! "

"can you write some headcanons for when the jjk boys lose their s/o in a large crowd? ^^"

[sebstanseabass]

Afterglow (A Bucky Barnes AU fan fiction) - Chapter 19

Afterglow chapters

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

CHAPTER NINETEEN

The atmosphere changed in a snap. Everyone had felt it, except Peter.

Peter's early arrival had you all floored, especially you and Bucky. Oblivious to Peter, you were both dumbfounded, like deer caught in headlights. But this wasn't the best time to process what was going to happen next. You had to think off your feet. Yoy had to show Peter that there was no more than surprise in your faces.

Peter was finally here. That's what matters right now.

The instrumentals of Hungry Eyes kept playing in the background. Bucky's microphone created a feedback sound once he let it rest on his sides, making you all wince. Peter ditched his bags (which magically doubled), and strode towards you, engulfing you in a hug. Although he reeked of damp, mossy grass, and wood, you hugged him back.

"I got in early! How great is that?" He greeted you with enthusiasm laced in his voice. "Oh god, I've missed you, y/n!" He said into your ear.

The rest of the group, laid back on their comfortable seats, watched the whole thing unfold in front of their very eyes. You’d definitely pay to see Nat's look on her face right now.

"Yeah, you did!" you patted his back before pulling away, giving him the best smile you could do. "I've missed you, too. Welcome back, Parker. It's been quite a damn week without you."

Bucky was solid as a rock before Peter moved towards his spot (Bucky gave me a quick glance and a wry smile which you then returned; afterwards, you bit your lip looking at the exchange between the two) and hugged him tight as they exchanged their formalities. "It's nice to have you back, Peter."

"It is nice to be back." Peter replied, pulling away. "Whew, that one week went by real slow, huh? Feels like ages!"

"Yeah." Bucky glanced at you one more time. This time, it was longer. "No kidding."

"Alright everyone, it's nice to see you all together."

The group mumbled agreeably.

"Sam," Peter acknowledged, doing his signature finger gun pointed towards him, "I don't even know why you're here but I will as soon as I take a quick shower right upstairs and get these bags sorted out."

"You might want to take a long one there, buddy." Sam breathed out, fanning the air. "You smell like a caveman."

"Sam." You scolded, shaking your head.

"Yes, babydoll?" He jeered, which you and Bucky didn't like.

Most especially Bucky.

And Peter as well.

You gave Sam a look, hidden from Peter's view, of course, careful not to raise any kind of suspicion. But boy, was Sam giving you and Bucky a hard time. The group knew why he called you that, of course. But not Peter.

"Babydoll?" Peter repeated, a confused expression crossing his face as he turned towards you. "Why is he calling you that ridiculous nickname?"

Peter had always hated when men called you, as he put it, "ridiculous" nickname. You knew if he could punch them all, he would but because of Steve's number one rule (no fighting in the bar), he couldn't. It all started ever since you worked in the bar. You weren’t getting much attention when you were a waitress but you guess, when men see a woman behind the counter making their drinks, apparently, they think you’re easy, and naive, and would fall for their "charm" by calling you nicknames. One minute you’re "darling", the next you’re "doll" or "baby" or, the worst of them all, "mon chéri."

God, did men really think women would be turned on by a French nickname with a horrendous French accent? Perhaps, the idiots do.

You suddenly wondered if Peter felt the same.

"He's just kidding." You mumbled, taking him away from the group. "You know how Sam is."

You started to lead him further towards the door where his bags were.

"I know how he is, y/n." He grew more agitated now, triggered by what Sam had called you. "I've known him longer than you. Okay, what on earth is going on here?" Peter turned around once more, facing them all. His hands were all over the place. Exaggerated gestures that furthered his confused state. "What happened in that one week I was gone? Jeez."

"Hey." You made Peter focus his attention back towards you by grabbing him by the shoulders. By this time, the instrumentals on the karaoke machine were gone. "We get that you're really confused right now and you're tired so why don't you go and take a shower. The night is still young, Parker. I promise we'll tell you everything the second you come back here."

Of course, not everything.

The dead air whistled around, which you hated. He glanced at the group, who was waiting for a response. Their eyes were all on you and Peter. He finally let out a sigh, his shoulders slumped. "Yeah, you're right. Sorry, it's just been kind of a long drive."

With that, Peter scurried towards the apartment to set down his bags and take a shower. He left a trace of awkwardness in the air once he left.

"Is it just me," Nat started as you walked towards the booth, "or did he grow taller? Did he go to, like, a magic place or something?" Everyone looked at her with knitted brows. "Jesus, I'm just lightening up the mood." She said, hands raised up.

You strode towards Sam, a rush of heat climbing its way towards your face. "Seriously? You had to call me that?"

Sam chuckled nervously, eyes flickering between you and his best friend. "I-it was just a joke! I didn't know he'd take it seriously. And helloooo," he said in a singsong voice, dragging the o, "I'm drunk."

"Being drunk isn't an excuse. It should never be." Bucky said, leaning against the booth. He stood with much authority which you found enticing. But you digressed. "You still shouldn't have said it."

"And besides," you chimed in, "Parker hates it when people give me nicknames."

"Alright. I am sorry." He said. His eyes examined you and Bucky. "But how do you think he's going to react when he finds out his favorite person in the world is calling his best friend babydoll in bed?"

You were dumbstruck. Like it was some kind of question in a trivia game you didn't know the answer to. You couldn't think straight hearing the fries grinding in Nat's teeth, probably enjoying the drama unfolding in front of her eyes, Steve's fingers tapping on the wooden table and Nick's fast breathing.

You took a deep breath, and tried hard to ignore all these annoying sounds.

Sam was right. If Peter's reaction to the nickname was already bad, what more if he knew about the truth between you and Bucky? How could he possibly react to it?

"Look." You said, approaching Bucky, and grabbing his pinky with yours. For comfort. "We're still not ready to tell him but we will."

"Yes, soon." Bucky agreed.

"We're just finding the right time."

The truth was, you weren't any close to finding the "the right time." You had been racking our brains since last night on when to tell him. After setting on the when, then you’d move to the next phase of the plan which was how. Now that Peter had come back, you knew you needed to think and act fast before he found out about you and Bucky from other people.

"In the meantime," you said, grabbing your phone and finding Marco's name on my contact list, "let's just enjoy this party as it is. Steve threw this party for a reason and we are going to enjoy it. With or without Peter. No blabbing or hinting — yes I'm talking about you, Sam — about me and Bucky. No nicknames, no references. Nothing."

"You're asking all of us to keep your dirty little secret?" Nick asked. "While we're all drunk?"

"You and Sam are." Bucky chimed in, grabbing their beer bottles. "Steve and Nat aren't so I'm keeping a close eye on you two." He turned towards you, faces close in proximity, and gave you the bottles to stow away. "No more drinks for those two idiots."

Youbnodded and took the beers away from Sam and Nick which earned yoy a couple glares. Nick pouted afterwards like a baby, eyeing the beer bottles in your hand. "No, Nick. I'm cutting you off."

"Take his, not mine!" Nick whined, tilting his head towards Sam. "I didn't blab. This idiot did."

"I don't like your tone, man." Sam argued, mimicking Nick's state.

"One more drink and you'll blab. And please stop acting like kids." you sighed, walking towards the counter, stowing the beer bottles in their cases. Ypunlooked on your phone once again, called Marco and ordered three large pizza boxes — pepperoni, meat, and cheese pizza. All of Peter's favorites.

By the time the phone call ended, Bucky approached you with soft, doe-like eyes. The group resumed singing, Sam and Nick once again hogging the machine, clearly not taking your advice. Sam kept yelling at him to "cut the check!"

"How're you feeling, doll?" He asked, going under the pass through.

"Well, it's now a surprise party." You heaved a sigh, turning around to find a drink with much more of a kick to get you through the night. Your eyes found an unopened bottle of vodka in one of the cabinets. You didn't hesitate to grab it, along with a dry vermouth and some olives.

Bucky's eyes were on you the whole time, watching you making yourself a mean martini. Ypundidn't care if Steve saw you just now. Right now, you needed this. Just one glass to calm your nerves.

Younstirred the liquid with the olives in a stick before downing the whole thing in one gulp.

"As hot as that was," Bucky said, referring to how you drank the martini and how younmade it, "that's your last drink for the night. I'm not letting you get drunk for the wrong reasons. Once was enough."

You set down the glass on the counter with a thud. You lifted your hazel eyes to meet his blue ones. "You're paying for this, by the way."

He chuckled. "I know. I'll take care of it."

You looked cautiously at the door, dreading Peter. Knowing he won't probably be here for another hour, you approached Bucky, discreetly grabbing his hand. It took you a moment to put your thoughts into words.

"James, if we tell Peter, we need to be... sure. Of this. Of us." youbwatched your fingers brush against him on the wooden table.

"We've talked about this, y/n. I am." He reassured, walking closer this time. "It's a big risk but it's one I'm willing to take."

The idea of you jumping into this together, jumping into it with caution gave you a big relief. But right now, it wasn't just an idea anymore. It was real.

It was real in the way he snaked his arm around your waist, in the way he pulled you into a soft, deep kiss, and in the way his lips lingered on your lips. You pulled away, your bodies still close. At that moment, it was just the two of you. Never mind the loud karaoke machine, or the faint noises of the traffic outside, or Sam's out of tune rhythm.

It was just the two of you. In your own little afterglow.

"You're a big risk I'm willing to take." He whispered the words so slow that they swirled around you, pulling you even closer.

"And you're mine too." you smiled.

Several minutes have passed since your little conversation. Nat had teased you and Bucky of being whipped for each other. Of course Sam joined, and then Nick who chanted a little song he made, which, for the life of you, you couldn't even remember. The rest didn’t understand a word he was singing other than the words "Bucky" and "y/n."

Steve, on the other hand, had been silently drinking his beer and eating the whole time. You once gave him an are-you-okay look and he just nodded in response, giving you that classic tight-lipped smile of his.

Bucky was seated beside you, your thighs grazing each other in the little booth. Even accidental touches brought you comfort.

And isn't that just the best damn thing?

Peter had come in after the little performance Nick just gave, thankful that he didn't walk right in the middle of it. Behind him was a staff of Marco's who delivered the pizza boxes. Everyone hurrah'd. You grabbed your wallet from your back pocket but Steve stopped you, handing some bills to the guy.

"Steve, I could've gotten it." You said after the pizza guy left.

He shook his head, setting down his beer on the table. "It's your party, kid. I'm not letting you pay a single cent."

Nat scoffed. "She made herself a drink just earlier. You should charge her for that."

"Woah, y/n drank? That's new." Peter chimed in, squeezing himself in the booth, sitting at the edge. Between you were Sam and Nick. "What else did I miss?"

And so, you told him everything — well, not everything. Only from when Steve fired you (him lying about how why he even came up with it which Peter bought), to Bucky convincing you to take the project collaboration with Sam, to finally agreeing to it, to the whole meeting that happened just three days prior, and to how you’ll proceed from there. Youndidn't know if Nat and Steve wanted to reveal their little thing to Peter so you kept your mouth shut. Not wanting to do to them what you didn't want done to you and Bucky.

"My god," Peter commented, "that really was a long week! I'm quite disappointed I missed all of that!"

Oh, Parker. If only you knew the whole truth.

In return, he gave the gist of the whole corporate retreat. He finally told you where he and the rest of his team went but it was some place you couldn't even pronounce. Some cabin by the lake far away from Manhattan. He didn't bore you too much with the details. All you knew was that they went fishing, hiking and camping in the wild while team building. Along with the stories were photos of him and the place they were staying.

You frowned thinking it would've been fun if he were with friends. Like you guys.

The whole time, Bucky held your hand under the table or rubbed your thighs discreetly so as to not draw much attention.

Nat was an exception. That redhead saw everything, smirking once in a while. You gave her a discreet look from time to time.

Peter congratulated you, toasting his pizza with yours. Thankfully, he didn't need to drink tonight ("No drinks for me tonight or for the next few days").

"Wow, you really came out there like a new man!" you chuckled. He laughed right back but for just a mere moment. His expression changed while taking a bite of his pizza. You began to be nervous as to why this kept happening. Younneeded to go to the toilet.

Getting out of the booth was a chore. Nat, Steve and Bucky had to get up before you could even stand up. Youndidn't get why you didn't just stick the little tables together to make a long one.

You were in the toilet for a little while, leaking everything that youndrank tonight. Your head felt a bit dizzy but younmanaged to stand up afterwards. The voices of your friends were inaudible against the wooden walls. Except Nick's booming laugh.

Once you opened the door, you were greeted by Steve who was standing still, waiting for the toilet to become unoccupied.

"Sorry." you apologized. "Was I too long?"

"No." He replied shortly. You tried to walk past him but he caught your arm. Younlooked at his hand, confused. "Are you sure about this Bucky guy?"

"What?"

"This whole thing with Bucky. You can't actually be serious about this."

Taken aback, you wiggled out of his grasp, successfully yanking your arm out. "And who are you to tell me that?"

"You just met this guy." He answered. You still felt his grip on your arm by his stern tone.

"Weren't you the one who kicked me out of this very bar just for me to go to the roof to meet with this guy that I just met?"

"I thought you would've ended whatever thing you had going with him."

You scoffed. "You're not my father, Steve. I know you have this weird father or brother thing you have with me but I'm an adult. I can take care of my damn self."

"What about that night you were insanely drunk?"

"That... that was a one-time thing. A mistake is what it is!" younhissed. "Everyone makes mistakes."

"Y/n, listen — "

"No." you cut him off. "You listen. Just because you and Nat haven't figured out whatever the hell is going on with you two, doesn't mean you can shit on my relationship. Before you comment on my dating life, I suggest you fix yours first. I'm happy. Bucky's happy. We're both happy. Please mind your own business."

Before you could even go back to the group, Steve called your name. Youngroaned, turning around. "What now?"

He sighed. "You're really going at great lengths for Bucky. Keeping secrets from Parker and all that. Is it really worth it?"

You stood there. Silent. Trying to find your voice.

"Well, I'm about to find out." You replied, turning around, hopefully for the last time. "Later, Steve."

You went back to the group and continued to chat with them. Steve got back after a few moments. His streak of silence was broken when Nat revealed something none of you had ever known before.

"Did you guys know that Steve was a journalist before he became a bar owner?" Nat said, looking at Steve.

You raised your eyebrows, the pizza caught in mid-air. A curiosity sparke, pleased with the new information you had just acquired.

"Steve Rogers? A journalist?" Peter scoffed unbelievably, leaning back against the seat. "No way. No, I don't buy it."

"Me neither." Nick butted in. "He doesn't look like the type. Nuh-uh."

"It's true!" Nat argued. "Tell them, Steve. Come on!"

Steve forced a chuckle, avoiding all your waiting gazes. "Yeah, it's true. I was. I used to work for the New York magazine."

"Why'd you stop?" Bucky's voice surprised you. It was the first time you’ve actually heard him talk to Steve first, except that time when you first introduced them.

Steve's eyes met Bucky's. A strange atmosphere picked up. You couldn't quite point out why. "I was sticking my nose up where it didn't belong." He replied. "I got fired because of that. Boss said I was too... intuitive."

"Isn't that what journalists should be exactly?" You asked.

"Too much of something is bad too, I guess." He shrugged, retreating back his eyes.

"Huh." You said, observing Steve. Eyes stolid. Bearing no emotions at all. "Well, look who's good at keeping secrets. Steve Rogers."

He hummed. "We all got secrets."

And then Nick revealed a ridiculous secret ("I hate the bank! I don't have a bank account!") that lightened up the mood.

The night went on after that, Steve avoiding any questions you had about this past life of his. Nick had the most ridiculous questions followed by Peter. But the night had to end as well. Thankfully, it ended sober.

Leaving Steve, Nat and Nick behind, Bucky, you and Peter headed up the stairs, the elevator ride filled with deafening silence. One you very much loathed. Between Bucky and you was Peter. It was killing you not to touch Bucky.

Bucky left, merely dropping you off in your apartment. He told you he'd come by tomorrow morning to get his stuff that was still in Peter's room.

It killed you not being able to kiss Bucky good night, watching his back getting smaller and disappearing behind the elevator. Peter closed the door after that.

"Boy, I'm tired." You yawned, stretching your arms up. "I'm gonna go ahead. It's nice to have you back, Parker."

Before you could even go to your room and have a nice sleep, Peter called for your name. You lazily replied.

"Yeah?"

"Why'd you do it, y/n?"

Confused, you turned around, meeting his gaze. "What?"

"The project with Sam." He said, walking towards you. His footsteps were heavy in each step. As heavy as his voice was becoming. "Bucky convinced you. Why'd you say yes?"

Trepidation filled your body. A kind of weakness you loathed. But you tried hard to stand on your ground, masking your anxiousness.

The noises outside the apartment, out on the streets mirrored the voices in your head.

"It was a big business opportunity." you found your voice. "A collaboration. And I didn't have much choice knowing that I was going to get fired."

But it seemed like Peter chose not to listen. "For years, I have been trying to get you to work with me. Years, y/n. Years." He sighed in exasperation. His eyes were bloodshot, tears badly wanting to escape. "Why couldn't you have said yes to me?"

His last words were so strong and sharp like a knife piercing right through your flesh, leaving you to bleed out in the open. You opened your mouth to speak, to say something, to say that you were sorry but unfortunately, no words came out. Peter breathed, releasing his strong gaze. "Good night, y/n."

He left you standing there in the middle of the room, realizing now that it would be harder to tell him about you and Bucky. Once you finally had the energy to carry your weight towards your room, you treaded towards it slowly and opened the door, only to be met by a soft knock on your window.

You nearly jumped at the sight outside the window.

"Jesus, Bucky!" you hissed, immediately closing the door behind. You opened the window and let him inside, closing it afterwards. "How did you get there?"

He was panting, trying to catch his breath. "Fire escape."

"It's freezing cold outside." you scolded, grabbing him your blanket and wrapping it around his huge figure.

"I know." he replied. "Maybe you can warm me up." A cheeky smile started to play on his lips as he approached you.

You giggled. "Bucky, not now."

"I'm sorry, doll. I just couldn't leave without a good night kiss."

My heart melted at his words. You placed your hand on his jaw and pecked his lips. He pulled you in closer. You smiled in the kiss.

"Neither can I."

You kissed a little bit more, a bit more passion this time, the window framing you perfectly in the nighttime.

You pulled away, feeling a bit guilty about Peter in his room.

"We need to talk, James." You said, breaking what was a lovely atmosphere. You’ve already had two confrontations today. What was another one?

You sat on the bed and patted the space beside you. Bucky frowned, sitting beside you. "What's wrong?"

"Peter's kind of upset with me accepting your offer to work with Sam." you went straight to the point. "He's been trying to get me to work with him in his company he works at ever since he got the job but I've always declined. And now, I think he's mad or even jealous that I said yes to you. God, you should've seen him, Buck. His eyes were so wide, and red. I've never seen him like that. It didn't look like Peter at all."

It took him quite a while before he spoke. "Do you regret taking up the offer?"

"What, heavens no!" You answered. "Bucky, this has been one of the best things that has ever happened to me. You're one of them too, of course." You said, seeing his doe-like eyes once more. "I'm just getting a bit more scared now. What if there is no right time for us to tell him? What then?"

He clasped your hands with his large ones, making you stop your trembling. You didn't even notice your hands shaking until now. "There will be a right time, y/n. Right now, we just have to keep this our little secret for a while until we can tell him."

"What happens when he doesn't approve of this?" You started to ramble on once more. "Of us? What happens then?"

"Sweetheart, you don't know what's going to happen but we'll make it work."

You didn't respond. You just kept staring at your joined hands.

"I promise." He added.

You finally nodded, releasing a breath you didn't know you were holding. "Okay."

"Now, if it's okay with you." He moved a little bit closer, kissing your cheek. "I can spend the night here." Another on the other. "With you." then on your lips.

"Peter's in the other room." you whispered in the kiss, amazed at how the mood changed so quickly.

"That's why I'm gonna need you to be quiet, babydoll."

[neverendingdream111]

GENSHIN IMPACT AS IDOLS

- one of the groups consists of: Zhongli, Childe, Venti, Xiao, Diluc, Kaeya and Albedo

- Zhongli is the leader and the oldest obvsly and his smooth deep voice is to die for

- He's also the visual along with Albedo (tho everyone here is gorgeous, ngl)

- Childe constantly switches between rap and vocal, but he's mostly recognized for his amazing dancing (he's the main dancer for a reason)

- Venti is the main vocal and possibly writes most of their songs (sometimes Albedo helps him)

- Funnily enough, Venti is often confused for being the maknae while in reality he's the second oldest in the group

- Xiao is the main rapper

- He refuses to sing but would do it if asked (rarely)

- and he's the real maknae - even tho he hates it he can't do anything about it (and everyone, especially Venti and Childe, loves teasing him for it)

- Diluc and Kaeya are the other rappers along with Xiao and they are related in some way tho both refuse to reveal anything to the public (but everyone is convinced they're brothers)

- they don't get along most of the time and argue constantly, but it only amuses the rest of the members and the fans absolutely love their arguments bc it more often than not turns into a rap battle

- and let me tell you, they completely kill it

- then, we have Albedo. He and Zhongli are the most peaceful ones and most likely keep the team together bc if not those idiots would've caused absolute chaos eons ago

- His voice is angelic, everyone adores it

- Childe and Kaeya are the most chaotic duo especially together

- they have the stupidest ideas and like to mess around

- and they are perfectly aware of their god-like looks and also have the audacity to use it "against" their fans (not that anyone complains)

- they are partners in crime when it comes to teasing Diluc

- Kaeya does it on a daily basis and Childe found it funny and decided to join him on causing inconvenience to others, lol

- Xiao, even though he's an idol, hates interacting with humans but makes an exception for fanmeetings, concerts, interviews and such because Zhongli raised him right--

- he has a soft spot for cats and would have one at the dorm if it wasn't for Venti being allergic to them (although he doesn't see any problem with it)

- speaking of the dorm, it's the pure definition of destruction

- Childe and Kaeya being the little shits they are room together and they are that kind of roommates that would blast music on full volume in the middle of the night just because they felt like it (but obvsly they do it to summon a demon in the form of sleep deprived Diluc because they know he's a light sleeper)

- Venti at some point moved in with them bc he felt like it and it's totally not because Xiao kicked him out--

- Zhongli and Diluc share a room because they both know how to appreciate a moment of peace and they just like each other's company; their perfect afternoon on their day off is sitting there with a cup of tea each and exchanging stories they've heard and/or experienced

- Albedo is probably the only person Xiao would room with excluding Zhongli (and maybe Diluc but it's debatable) because he's calm and collected, doesn't talk too much unlike the other three and when he does talk it's nice to listen to him

- also, the sound of sketching calms him down

- Venti somehow lives in all of the rooms in the dorm. First he roomed with Xiao and Albedo, but he got kicked out by the maknae. Then he gravitated towards Zhongli and Diluc but after a few days the redhead got so annoyed with him he ended up with Childe and Kaeya. The three of them share a braincell, that's why they get along so well, but even though he lives with them he sometimes ends up in the other rooms but that's just him

- he likes a change of scenery, ehe

- Zhongli's the dad of the group

- whenever someone has a problem they automatically go to him

- also, even though they are a really chaotic group, they are equally capable of working together (main reason why they are so goddamn awesome on stage)

- Xiao might act like he doesn't care but he does. A lot

- every time one of his hyungs is having a bad day he subtly tries to cheer them up. He feels awkward with words in these moments and physical contact isn't really his forte but instead he does things like buying them their favorite snack, or opting to watch their favorite film with them (even if he absolutely hates it he still would watch it)

- everyone obvsly knows what he's doing and they appreciate it

- Childe and Kaeya actually aren't as easy-going as they like to appear on stage. They are really emotional human beings and are probably most affected by hate comments and such

- Diluc, as much as he despises their attitude and teasing he has to endure bc of them, cares about them a lot and usually he's the one to knock some sense in them when they believe the haters or just have a bad day. He may not like their behavior but he's not heartless and deems them as family (even tho he wouldn't admit it)

- Albedo isn't a lot older than Xiao, maybe something around a few months, so everyone thinks of him like a second maknae and just because he gives off the vibe, y'know

- He loves drawing and sometimes does a sketch of one of the members or recreates a fanart of them he saw on Pinterest (cue to the fans going wild)

- He, alongside with Diluc, often cooks for them. They both are amazing cooks and I refuse to believe otherwise

- Venti has a playlist prepared for every occasion and uses them accordingly

- he also has playlists dedicated to every member of the group and it's his way of cheering them up or being there for them when they are separated

- as for the run episodes, well.... It can be described in one word

- chaos

- they're even capable of riling Zhongli up!

- tho he mostly opts to watch the chaos from the sidelines, snickering under his breath, he ends up in the crossfire from time to time

- contrary to popular belief, the most competitive ones are Diluc and Xiao

- they are so set on winning they sometimes forget that it's all a game

- Childe once got an elbow to the face in one episode but still no one knows who did it (it was Kaeya--)

- Albedo is just... There, tho he does enjoy it. More than he would admit

- Childe and Kaeya are dying of laughter most of the time and do stupid things that probably only they understand which makes the other laugh harder

- and Venti absolutely loves being the host: it gives him a perfect view of his friends who half the time have no idea what the hell is going on and, of course, power

- the fanmeetings are just the other excuse for them to make fun of each other and fool around

- fans don't mind it one bit because it is honestly hilarious to watch the utter chaos unfold

- even when they are signing albums and merch they throw comments here and there to provoke the other

- especially Xiao bc he's a softie when it comes to their fans and as long as the girls don't do anything... Weird, he doesn't mind interacting with them and sometimes finds himself actually enjoying the contact

- while we're on the fanmeetings--

- Zhongli is absolutely wonderful. He's the kind to delicately hold your hand, look into you eyes and smile softly while focusing entirely on you and what you have to say, indulging into conversation as well

- if it wasn't for the staff members reminding him that the time's up, he would spend at least an hour with every fan

- Childe is so excited he grins so much his cheeks hurt, and would look at you like you just made his day. You can be stuttering, super nervous and anxious and he'd just say it's completely fine and that you should take your time, even if the staff says that you should move to the next member

- Venti is the one that talks a lot, but would shut up and listen to you. He especially likes playing with your hands or just some games like rock-paper-scissors

- he also loves it when some fans show him their singing and he encourages them to go on, synchronizing with them and making an amazing duet

- Xiao is, like I've said before, a big softie. He really appreciates the fact that people find their music nice and genuinely like to listen to it. Would probably ask you questions like "what's your favorite song?", "What do you think of this album *gestures to the one he just signed*" etc

- he DID wear cat ears once because a fan gave them to him and they looked kind of cute

- he didn't hear the end of it for two weeks minimum and Childe and Kaeya probably have the pic as their wallpapers

- Diluc is the most... normal one? I mean, he enjoys the meetings a lot, but he doesn't show his excitement as much as the others. Conversations with him are like talking to an old friend that understands you and it's just so... wholesome

- he's honestly surprised when he gets gifts from the fans. He does appreciate it of course, but he just doesn't really understand why you would go as far as to give him something for no particular reason please give him lots of love he needs it-

- Kaeya is the one with the audacity to flirt with you. Loves seeing the blush on your cheeks and just enjoys annoying people. Though he sometimes stops it out of mercy and opts to talk with you like a normal human being--

- most protective of their fans. Sees one in distress or being picked on, immediatly steps in or tells a staff member to handle the situation

- Albedo is somewhere between Zhongli and Diluc's behaviour tbh. He's really sweet, loves talking to the fans and gets super excited whenever one of them shows him a fanart - especially if it's an original idea

- now let's get to the best part

- as lovely and peaceful as they are on a daily basis, they turn into freakin devils on stage

- kind grandpa with a calming voice? Who's that? A goddamn satan entered the chat

- ooooh, the cat lover? Sorry, we only have a mf demon available

- don't even get me started on the Childe-Kaeya-Diluc trio--

- all in all, they may be annoying each other night and day but they still love one another like family and their bond only strengthens when they stand in the spotlight

I had this idea today and, well, it turned out like this, hope you enjoyed! I also may be doing some sort of continuation to this with Xingqiu, Chongyun, Razor and Bennett as a trainee idol group so let me know if you'd like something like this and if you have any ideas for other groups!

02.05.21

~Nana

[downwiththemutantnjnjaturtles]

We Met Within This Screen (chapt. 5)

[Donnie x fem reader]

sfw, chapt. 4 here

Just as Donnie had predicted, the night air was cold on his scales. Right upon leaving, Mikey brought up to Leo going in pairs this time, to cover more ground, he said. An extra thorough patrol. Donnie honestly couldn't make up his mind and so by then he was flying by the seat of his pants, not objecting to Mikey's plan, but also not agreeing. He doubted Leo would be convinced, anyway. They didn't do duo patrols that often. 

"I was thinking we could split up this time, you know, me and Donnie, you and Raph?" suggested Mikey, closing the manhole behind himself.

"I thought you liked it when we're all together," Leo commented. 

Donnie shot Mikey a look, trying to tell him to cool it, but he shrugged, "Come on, it'll be like some kind of training or...something," Mikey went behind Leo and shook his shoulders, "aren't you into that?"

Internally, Donnie facepalmed. Unless he actively tried to stop this, it was going to happen, wasn't it? One way or another, probably; it all depended on how Leo was feeling that night. Raph was indifferent. He didn't care whether they were all together or in pairs, just that he got to flex his combat skills some. If he could, he'd go out and do it on his own, even. 

Leo looked around, considering Mikey's suggestion. "Okay," he agreed, eventually. "You and Donnie take East, Raph and I will cover the usual route and then—" 

"No," Mikey interjected. Both Leo and Raph's brows furrowed as they stared at their brother. He motioned toward Donnie, "Me and Donnie can take that, you guys just go on ahead," he smiled. "You know I like checking out the skatepark!" 

"No skating," Leo said. 

"I'll just watch whoever's there, then." He pouted.

Raph snorted. "Yeah, make sure he actually pays attention, Donnie." 

"As usual," Donnie sighed, and looked at Leo. 

"Well, what do you think, Don?" 

The decision is up to me? 

Turns out it was his all along, but he wanted to feign innocence in saying that Mikey was the one to drag him through it. Easier to not take responsibility and let life happen at you rather than making a conscious effort, at times. 

"I guess we can do that," Donnie answered reluctantly. He could have said no. Why didn't he? In the corner of his eye, he saw Mikey beam, giving him a discreet thumbs up. 

"Alright, meet back here by four AM, and if either of you run into big trouble, call. We'll come," Leo said. "Same for us."

"Yeah, we'll holler for ya," added Raph dismissively. "And nah, a big dog doesn't count as trouble, Mikey." He sounded gruff, but in actuality, he was still chuckling to himself over that years later. After they got over being annoyed that he had called them from that far while they were on a supply run. Chased by a junkyard dog—some of their least favorite parts about visiting those places. 

"Hey, it was mean! And way fast!" Mikey protested as they parted ways, them taking to the East and red and blue the opposite way. 

As per course, Donnie and Mikey took their normal route, and his heart skipped a beat when they met the scene of their last run-in with criminals. Not because of them, no, but because of the familiar apartment building that was now more intimidating than he'd expected. They circled the area like they normally would have, but Mikey came to stop them on a roof just opposite of the complex, eyes searching each window. Obscured by the height of the building, he sat on the edge. 

Donnie didn't know what to do with himself. He stood back a good ten feet, somehow paranoid of being spotted even though he knew it was not possible from their angle in the complex. Mikey was comfortable, and weirdly at peace as he sat there quietly on the edge, assumed to be waiting for his brother to make a move. But Donnie was stuck in place. 

"What are you waiting for, D?" 

The sudden question broke him from his stillness. It was true; he didn't know what he was waiting for. 

"I—I don't know what you want me to do, what are you thinking?" Donnie asked in return, stepping back a little further as he noticed movement behind the curtains of a lit window. 

"Get your phone out and talk to her," Mikey told him, waving his hand at the apartments. "What did we come out here for if you aren't gonna make it right, bro? Do some smooth talk, tell her you're sorry and you wanna get to know her better…"

"This is absolutely a ridiculous plan," Donnie said, though as if his hands had thought of their own, they reached for his phone, and a moment later he was looking at the messages. Still nothing. Radio silence on both of their ends. How would he approach it? "I'm sorry I went from hot to cold so fast. Please talk to me again." Too strong. "Sorry, can we get a redo?" Too casual. "I'd like to apologise for being a jerk." Okay, that's just not good. Reconciling was going to be as difficult as he'd thought it would be. 

Mikey came over and looked at his phone screen and his brother floundering, thumbs stuttering across the keyboard, deleting the text, retyping it over and over again for perfection where he wasn't going to find any–

"I got this, let Love Doctor Mikey handle it," he said, taking the phone right from Donnie's hand. 

"You've never been in a relationship, not even talked to anyone, how would you—" 

Mikey shushed him. Donnie was going to snatch the phone away but he spun around, draping himself over his shoulder.  "Just let me work my magic, dude!"  

Donnie couldn't watch; he had to turn away. How sure he was that Mikey was going to say something uncalled for, something weird or bone-headed, and the wait was killing him. What if she didn't even respond? Was that better than doing damage control for Mikey's shenanigans? For someone usually decisive, he could not for the life of him make up his mind about what he wanted at that very instance. 

The phone vibrated. 

Mikey cheered. "Got her on the line, now you just gotta reel 'em in," he grinned, handing the phone back to Donnie. 

"Hey :/

I thought you wanted to stop?"

Mikey kept trying to lean over to catch a glimpse of the screen, but Donnie felt that it was a personal moment, so without skipping a beat, he activated the electric current in his staff and poked it behind him into his brother's plastron. 

"Fine," Mikey whined. He stepped in one last time, "But don't hold out on me here!" 

Trying to find an graceful way to patch this all up, Donnie replied: 

"I apologise for that, and I know you probably want an explanation, but it's hard to explain

Moment of weakness? 

I guess... 

Anyway. I'm not expecting you to suddenly be cool with it, if you don't want to talk to me I understand 

Sorry."

Mikey noticed Donnie's dismal expression and he mellowed out accordingly, standing close but not putting a hand on him, nor saying anything. He didn't watch the phone, but Donnie's face and slumped shoulders. He'd thought it would have been going better by now. 

"I won't lie, I'm still confused 

But if you're going through something, I'm right here for you

Don't worry about it. Just don't give me a spook like that again, I thought it was me  

lol 

Okay it's not funny but this is a little awkward" 

Donnie's heart sank reading that. He'd made her feel bad, even question herself over his problem. Never had he wanted to make her think it was her that drove him off. 

"No, no, it was never you 

Again, I can't really explain…

Is it okay if we just try this again? 

I understand if not."

"Jeez Bo, I already said it's alright 

I WANT to keep talking to you, you're cool

So let's forget about it, yeah? 

Friends again :) "

And like that, his heart took a leap. A smile slowly spread across his face, and without looking away from the screen, grabbed Mikey by the shell, pulling him toward. "Look at this!" he exclaimed. 

"You see it too?" he quirked, pointing at the apartment complex across the road. 

Donnie paused and looked over his shoulder at him, "What?" 

On one of the balconies sat a lone girl, on her phone, and if Mikey looked hard enough, he could see a smile. Definitely a smile. 

"Ah!" yelped Donnie quietly. He scurried back against the wall of the attached building behind him, as far as he could. 

"Dude! Come on, this is perfect!" Mikey nudged him, and when he didn't hop up onto his feet, dragged his brother near the edge of the roof. Donnie was boneless but unwilling, his mind stuck on the fact that she thought he was cool. Him, cool. Was he? She didn't know even the half of it. She didn't know he was a martial artist, technically a genius, and that he'd gone against some of the worst the city had to offer. And without that, she still thought he was cool, as an average guy. 

As average as what my circumstances will allow me to be. 

Feet dragging all the way, Donnie's stomach did a flip as they met the ledge, peering carefully over it in a crouch. They were prone, watching the girl who was completely unaware of their presence. He was, simply put, enraptured, for a second there, studying her features as much as he could from where they were. The details of her face were not distinct due to the distance, but he could tell she was both nothing like he'd imagined and so much more. For once, he didn't immediately question the validity of the situation; there was no "it could be a coincidence", or "it's too unlikely that she would be out just as they were". Not right away. But it hit him when Mikey spoke. 

"You're so lucky, D," he said wistfully. "Really." Head rested on his forearm, his gaze fell on not one thing, but the whole scene, a somber smile gracing him. He was excited, happy for his brother. But deep down, Donnie knew that though Mikey wasn't envious of him in a resentful way, it had to have stung to witness such a thing unfold for someone not himself. Their youngest had always craved connection the most. He looked away from the girl, "I wasn't gonna let you throw away an awesome chance, was I?"

Releasing a heavy breath, Donnie crawled away from the edge, but his eyes remained on that balcony. It was weird to watch someone who didn't know they were being watched. Not in that context. 

"I...guess I may be," Donnie responded. But it would only get more complicated from there. His phone vibrated, breaking his trance, and the message he found read:

"Anyways, with that out of the way, what are you doing?"

Just watching you from a roof, nothing much, Donnie thought. 

"Currently out enjoying the night" 

"Isn't it kinda cold?" 

"What about you?" 

He knew what he meant, because he was there watching her as a chilled breeze rolled through, but she told him she wasn't doing anything. Only relaxing and talking to him. 

It took him a few minutes to get his bearings. To know that he now had tangible evidence that she was a girl, an ordinary person, and that said person really thought he was cool. Worth the effort. He felt exceedingly difficult for not being able to give her a rightful explanation, but comforted by the fact that he wasn't being demanded of one. He felt light. Almost weightless, with Mikey next to him instead of his other cynical, skeptical brothers. For a moment, he had nothing to worry about. 

From across the roof, he could still see the yawn escape her mouth. Probably an indicator that it was time to wrap things up. He didn't want her to stay up too late; it was already odd that she was up at such an hour, almost two AM, but glad nonetheless. 

"Are you tired?"

"Yeah

I think I'm gonna hit the hay

So goodnight, Bo

Talk to you later (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞" 

She got up, leaning on the railing which faced them. 

"I want to stay up with you but—"

Donnie sucked in a sharp breath as she looked up, just barely able to see from underneath the balcony above her. He snagged the strap on Mikey's shell and yanked him back with him away from the edge of the roof, taking cover behind the wall. 

"Shit," hissed Donnie, "do you think she saw us?" 

These shells, they make us look so big! 

"Relax, bro, even if she did, it was only a little bit. Besides, we could be anyone from this far, they don't have pigeon vision." 

"You mean 'eagle vision'?" 

"They're both birds!"

Donnie deadpanned and peeked over the wall. She'd gone in. Three minutes later, he hadn't gotten any texts yet about something weird on the rooftops, so he could finally relax, groaning lightly. "Too close," he breathed out, "Mikey, we need to go, Leo's going to notice we're not back in time if we don't hurry up and get the rest of this route done."

"Already on it," he whooped, vaulting onto the next roof.

As Donnie was scaling the wall of the attached building, he felt his phone vibrate, and curious, he checked it one last time before getting on his way.

"One question before I go

You ever see stuff you can't explain but even if you did you'd sound crazy?"

Oh, no.

"No, I don't."

Chapter 6

[ssa-sugar-tits]

i missed you

request : this one

pairing : derek morgan x cadet!reader

summary : an fbi cadet reader asks her old friend, derek morgan, to help her train and suppressed feelings surface.

content warnings : annoying time jumps (leave me alone), swearing, awkward ass reader, insecurity, good old sexual tension

gif credit : @rewrotethestars

-

All it took was a call to an old friend. One who'd left for the FBI not long after you'd met. Communication didn't completely fizzle out, every once in a while you'd see how the other was doing. You'd crossed each other's minds as something that could have been but simply weren't-- and that was okay. So why did you reach out? You can't really say.

-

Derek's phone rings in the back pocket of his jeans, barely noticable over the blaring music of the dim lit club. The name appears in large letters and he redirects his attention with dark furrowed brows, earning pouts from the women fawning over him.

"Y/N?" His deep voice questions and you almost hang up. He doesn't sound very happy to hear from you.

"Hey Derek, it's me. I mean clearly it's me, since you already saw my caller ID. What I mean is..." you trail off, fumbling over your own words. Surprisingly he chuckles and puts you at ease.

"It's nice to know you're still you, hot stuff. So what's up?"

Hot stuff.

His stupid nicknames always felt like home in an odd way.

"Sorry if you're busy but I'm finishing up my time at the academy and I was wondering if you'd help me train." God, you sound ridiculous. "S-Since you're all badass and built and I'm not, you know?"

You wince at your sentence. Why didn't you stop talking? A warm laugh escapes him and you can hear a smile in his voice that makes you smile too, despite the fact that it's probably at your expense.

"You think I'm badass and built? I'm glad that's what stuck in your mind about me after all these years. I'd be more than happy to help you, just let me know when."

"I will, thanks Derek."

And you did. The rest is history.

-

Derek was ecstatic to hear from you. Your presence always lingered in his heart like a beautiful ghost.

"Okay, spill." Penelope's flirty tone sings to the unsuspecting profiler in the elevator.

"Spill?" Derek cocks an eyebrow.

"Spill about where you've been so excited to go. It doesn't take a profiler to figure out when someone captivates the Derek Morgan."

"It's not like that, babygirl. I'm helping a friend in the academy train, that's all."

That's all? Rich, Morgan.

"A female friend I presume? One who makes the sexy biceps of your heart flex?"

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that last part but yes, Y/N is a woman. It doesn't mean anything."

An exaggerated sigh leaves the blonde and she taps a finger on the desk.

"Whatever you say, twelve-pack. Just know that your girl's rooting for ya. Not that she'll be able to resist you exercising."

Derek laughs heartily at her wink and steps out of the building.

"Is that her?" she gasps, seeing you leaned against his car awaiting the dark man. "She might just be sexier than you are."

You wave innocently and give a hopefully not too awkward, tight lipped smile. Penelope smirks at Derek's obvious awe of you, taking in the sight as if you were a vivid sunset about to disappear. You'd never guess that though, would you? Why would a man like him want you? The answer is he wouldn't. But a girl can dream.

"Took you long enough," you laugh and turn to the brightly dressed woman beside him. "You must be Penelope? Der's mentioned you before."

Der? Penelope taunts with silent feline eyes.

"The one and only! I've heard about you too, Y/N."

"Oh!" you're startled when she brings you into a hug and whispers, not at all subtly.

"Have fun training."

Derek scrunches his face in embarrassment. You must know why she's teasing.

"Goodbye lovelies, enjoy yourselves!" She waves goodbye.

"She was... interesting," you say playfully. "I like her."

Is that all you have to say? Judging by the way you open the car door and plop down, yes. Yes, it is.

-

Arriving at the Quantico gym, you turn to your new trainer and beam.

"Alright. Where do we start, teach?"

"The fitness test is going to put you through core challenges and test your overall endurance out in the field. It's best to take this at your best level so we'll start wherever you want."

How does he make an FBI qualification sound sexy?

"Uh... core is a good place to start. Give me a sec to change."

"No problem."

Of course he'd change too. But it still catches you by-- very pleasant-- surprise when you return to see him in gym clothes. His dark, toned arms are completely exposed and the built pecs of his chest are barely covered by his tank top. It grips to his abs and the shorts he's wearing... they do not leave his calves to the imagination.

"Like what you see?" he teases confidentally, showcasing his perfect white teeth. Shit, he caught you staring. And of course had to taunt you.

As if he isn't enjoying the view too. Your sports bra and active wear shorts aren't exactly modest.

"No! I mean yes! I was just admiring, you're very fit."

You want to cringe at yourself. Way to go Y/N, not creepy at all.

"Not so bad yourself, Y/N. Why don't we start with stretching?"

"Okay," you nod and follow his movements. Bringing an arm up over your head, you turn and gasp lightly at the sight of his tank top lifting. If one thing hasn't changed, it's those fucking abs. Being distracted while exercising isn't such a good thing however and you topple over into his arms.

"Woah! I got you," Derek reassures and steadies you.

"Yeah I'm alright-- thanks."

His eyes are so pretty. They scan yours with a love you wouldn't comprehend. So chocolate and ocean like. You could lose yourself in them... Oh god. You are losing yourself in them.

"So, what now?" you blurt, jumping back from his grasp and almost making him frown. He'd rather be close to you but he'd never let you know. A womanizer, isn't he? He's on Reid's level of charm when it comes to you. You're different, somehow, some way.

"The best core exercises to begin with are crunches and sit ups, we can move on to variations afterwards." he explains, lips moving with silk precision.

"Got it!" you nod enthusiastically. Derek lays on his back for a demonstration, allowing you to enjoy the show as his arms bend behind his head and his body curls up to his knees.

Always the charmer, always the angel.

Something about him right now, whatever it is.

It's too much to ignore anymore.

With a burst of confidence and passion, you hop onto his lap and rest your hands on his racing chest.

"I really missed you Derek."

As scandalous as this would seem to anyone who walked in right now, the moment was nothing if not pure.

"I missed you too baby."

You lower your body and gently brush his lips with yours. His hands find their rightful place in your hair and his tongue guides yours into bliss. Tilting your head, you melt deeper into the long overdue kiss and breathlessly pull back.

"Training's a lot more fun than I thought it'd be." You whisper and rest your head against his.

"We should do it again sometime." He returns.

"Is that a promise?"

He chuckles and brings music to your ears.

"It always has been, pretty lady."

And it always will be.

-

masterlist

-

[cherry-ber]

Too drunk to fuck pt 10

♡ Part one| Previous

You couldn't believe it, that not even a month could go by without having to worry about Mark. You woke up several hours after you got that text, and couldn't help the way your heart sinked, you had to get up and shower with the coldest water to be ready for the upcoming long day, calling said unknown number to ask for an explanation.

“Who's this?” ask back as you make your way to the door.

“Y/N? It's Jisung! Do you not have my number saved?”

“Jisung, it doesn't matter right now!” although you knew that it would be a big complain from him later “What happened to Mark?”

“He's alright now... Do you want us to pick you up so you can see him?”

“Well, yes, that's why I called, but what happened?”

“Wait, I'll tell Jeno and Jaemin to pick you up, they must be close to your place now” and he hung up, avoiding the question you made him.

You sat on the sidewalk, waiting for the car to arrive, writing a text for your mom apologizing for leaving suddenly and so early. The streets were barely lighted by the daylight, but when you saw the car lights shining in your way, you knew immediately who it was, you stood up quickly and walked in their way, Jeno rolled the passenger window down and both him and Jaemin smiled sweetly at you, you almost forgot where you were going, and jumped in the back seat. The ride to the hospital was full of laughs, you even stopped in a convenience store to buy coffee and snacks because none of you have had breakfast. Jaemin parked and the tension in the air made its way back to the moment, suddenly feeling too awkward and guilty to hold hands with Jaemin when he started brushing his fingers on your palm while you three walked to the hospital.

You've never stepped in a hospital before, when you were younger you were over protected, you never got [physically] hurted, nor did you go with your parents when someone did have an emergency, and everything overwhelming; families waiting for news of their loved ones, people who looked in pain, doctors and nurses who probably went home crying from too many emotions at their work place, you couldn't even imagine how Mark would look laying in those uncomfortable beds.

“Mark Lee” Jaemin says walking to a lady in a counter

“Are you his family?” she says in a monotone way, not even turning to look at him “only his family is allowed to see him”

“His family doesn't leave here, I'm his roommate”

The lady types Mark's name, not questioning anymore, probably feeling compassion over that young boy being alone all night , having no one else for him than his friends, who had been annoying her since she started her shift. She tells him he's not taking visits, but he's gonna be allowed out in a couple hours.

Jaemin makes his way back to you and Jeno, both unsure of asking, he just sits in the waiting chairs, his body too tired, not from today, rather than everything becoming too much.

“I'm going out for a smoke, do you want to come?” his friend asks, noticeably stressed with the hospital environment, Jaemin looks at you and shakes his head, Jeno palms his back and rushes out.

“You should go, I can wait here” Jaemin can't help the grin forming in his face when he hears your voice, he thinks it's adorable how not even in a time like this he can't be unhappy if you're there.

“No, he's just-” he realizes he's spilling too much “he doesn't like hospitals”

“I mean, who does?” you sit next to him, placing your hand on his thigh “are you okay?”

Jaemin thinks of opening up, he trusts you and he knows you'd understand his emotions better than him anyway, he wonders if it's easier to lie and say he's alright, but tired, and eventually decides that whatever he says is useless anyway.

“Aw fuck, did you tell your parents you were coming?”

“I left a note, I told them Mark had an emergency and to call me when they read it”

“I shouldn't have brought you here, I shouldn't have brought you yesterday, I just keep dragging you into this mess, I'm sorry Y/N” he hadn't even realized himself how guilty he had been feeling, for the longest time, none of it was him, but he made it him anyway, he'd never been violent, neither did he enjoy the things he did, he just did them anyway, but after a couple years of losing himself, he forgot that too, and having someone that cared for him as much as you did, he felt guilty over making you a part of his life, over stealing Mark's chance, your chance to leave him and leave the whole thing, he never meant it, he'd never do that to you “I'll take you back, Jeno can wait here and-”

“You never even told me what happened” you cut him off and he wonders if you were able to listen to the rant on his head “no one has told me what happened and I hate making up scenarios of this, just tell me what happened, I'm gonna find out anyway” your voice was full of anger and fear, but you couldn't handle it any longer, you hated that feeling of being kept from the whole thing, it made you feel like they didn't trust you at all.

“He, uh, a lot happened, actually” he takes a deep breath as he dives in deeper waters of guilt “you saw him last night, we kinda got into an argument before you left, he's not himself when he's drunk, he's a good guy, you know, but, he got a little bit out of his mind, he had been drinking, he had been smoking with Jeno prior to that, and when we left he tried to leave too, he crashed, but that's not why he's here, he, uh, got up, too numbed to realize that he hurted his ankle and got some lines of coke, too many, actually, he got overdosed and they took him here” Jaemin didn't notice the moment tears started rolling down his cheeks, it was guilt that was swallowing him alive, thinking of how he was the root of every single problem they were having “I didn't know that, I didn't know he was doing all that in a single day, I didn't know he'd try to follow us, I would've taken his keys, I would've said sorry, I shouldn't have taken you there, I shouldn't even be talking to you right now”

And you can't help but cry when he does, knowing how emotional and empathetic Jaemin could actually be, knowing how he tends to take credit for everything that goes wrong, hell, he probably blames himself for climate change, and knowing how sorry and scared he must have been feeling.

“Jaemin, it's not your fault. Mark makes hus own choices, maybe all of them are bad, but those are his” you swipe away the tears off his face with your thumbs “you didn't force him to do any of that, and I know you mean so much more to each other than you say, but you can't keep taking everything he does just because he's broken or whatever you're telling yourself” but you noticed mid-sentence that this was something you needed to tell yourself too “I'm sure he's grateful for you, but you can't keep fixing his mess every single time”

He feels like a weight has been lifted off him, knowing that you can see him for him, you can see how he cares for Mark, and understands what you mean, but it doesn't feel right at all.

“Yeah, i know that” he sits straight again, he looks like he never had that breakdown “Anyway, he's alright now, somehow, do you want me to buy you some coffee?”

You spot Jeno coming back, probably just because it was cold outside. “No, but I could use a walk, the environment is weird here”

You stand up as Jeno makes his way to the chair next to Jaemin.

“Can you take a shift waiting? She's feeling sick and we're taking a break” Jaemin asks his best friend “or you can come, he's probably taking hours to be free, he can wait anyway”

Jeno shakes his head, assuring Jaemin that he'd rather be inside, and that Mark could get kicked out any minute if he was awake.

There's not much to see in the surroundings of a hospital, nor in the parking lot, but the pain of all those people, mixed with Jaemin's and your own was getting overbearing. Jaemin takes a cigarette in his mouth and skillfully lights it real quick, you try to remember if you've ever seen him smoking, but you couldn't remember, nor could you remember his car of his clothes smelling like he did. He's quick to finish it, taking big puffs and barely taking it away from his mouth. He noticed you were staring at him.

“Do you want one?” he forgot his whole lecture on why he was guilty over dragging you into his life and suddenly he remembered as he was sure you were about to say yes “please don't say yes, I didn't mean to offer you one, actually” but he takes out another one, places it on his mouth and lights it, too quickly.

You couldn't help it but remember Mark, because the truth was that anyone who met Mark, would never be able to leave without thinking about him, he was too special to forget. Yes, Jaemin was the sweetest person on Earth, and granted, you'd choose him any day over any other person, and that's why your heart sunk when you remembered what the days hiding in abandoned place with Mark were like, full of uncertainty, but exciting anyway, how his strong leather and tobacco scent would pierce into your nose for the whole day, how he'd make you feel when his fingers ran through your thighs. You loved Mark, you've loved him for a while now, but now you loved him in a different way, you told yourself. There was no use in comparing the two of them since they were absolutely opposite to each other, but you'd love to forget what you felt for Mark anyway.

You take Jaemin's hand on your own, stealing a puff of his almost finished cigar, blowing the smoke directly to his face and smile fondly when he laughs it off. Something about Jaemin always felt right. He throws the rest of it, not risking a burnt when as he rounds your back with his big arms. He could swear he sees a whole galaxy in your eyes, the way they shine is absolutely stunning and it makes him feel warm and fulfilled. He gets closer for a kiss, a sweet kiss, but with the taste of tobacco in his mouth, it becomes easy to forget where you are. You can feel someone walking in your direction as you get away from each other. Jeno and Mark are walking slowly to the car, you remember how Jaemin said he hurt his ankle and giggle at Jeno smiling at Mark's struggle. Both you and Jaemin walk to them, but Mark doesn't care at all, you expected him to be less of an ass by then, and he expected it too, knowing well how much everyone cared for him, but too bitter seeing Jaemin with you, convinced that it should be him who's kissing you and taking you out every Friday night.

Jaemin drives you all to Mark's place, you've never been there, and you don't want to be there either way, so you wait in the car while they make sure Mark can survive a couple hours alone, he can't help but feel defeated, owing his literal life to Jaemin but still pretty annoyed about his new relation. Jeno decides to stay with Mark, promising he'll call someone to take a shift later, and now Jaemin has a some more time alone with you.

Your mom was worried after she read that note, following your instructions and calling you as soon as she saw it.

“He's alright mom, he hurted his ankle, that's it”

“Are you sure? We can bring him something and pay him a visit”

“I think he is tired, besides, I want to spend some time with Jaemin, can I come home later?”

She agrees, too enchanted when Jaemin was mentioned, and diving more into the idea of you setting down with him. Boys were never a priority to you, and somehow it made her happy you were with him. You had already hung up when Jaemin came back to the car, not sure if he should ask you out on a spontaneous date or wait until you suggested it.

“Are you busy, like, right now?” you ask before he can decide on what to do

“Not really, why?”

“I don't know, I wanted to go out, but now I'm thinking I'm more in the mood for a movie at home”

“Do you want me to take you home?” you laughed at how naive he could be sometimes

“I want to go to your place” you confess “well if you don't mind it, maybe we could go to my room and cuddle there”

Jaemin thought of the scene: his mom would definitely be surprised, he couldn't remember if his room was clean, but he sure wanted his mom to meet you, he wanted to have dinner together, he wanted to show you the cool stuff gathered in his room. “Well, we can go to my place”

Next

__________________________________________

A.N: i will never say sorry enough times because i can't help but take too long to update this,,,, anyway, thank you so much for reading this, i hope you're having a nice day/night, some people are still in quarantine and it can be messy to our heads, remember to take care of yourselves, much love! ♡

[moonstruckholland]

Sober (t.h)

Word count: 1,918

Warnings: drinking, fluff, tiny bits of angst

A/N: The second oneshot for Cosmic Souls! I really hope y'all like this 💕 let me know what you think if you do and if you want, you can find the first oneshot in my masterlist 🥰 also, as always, shout out to the amazing @fangirlwithasweettooth for reading this over

It was obvious by the way you were dressed you hadn't originally planned on having Tom over.

Usually, you didn't care much for getting dressed up when you hung out with Tom at your place, opting for a pair of sweatpants and a loose t-shirt. Not that he ever minded, he loved that you felt comfortable enough to be yourself around him.

Tonight though you had on a pretty floral dress that complimented your skin and more makeup than you usually cared to put on, pops of color and shimmer on your lids that added to the natural sparkle in your eyes.

Tom thought you looked beautiful.

Though, to be fair, there hadn't been a moment since he met you three years ago, in the music history class the both of you were forced to take, where he hadn't thought you looked absolutely stunning.

"So, what exactly happened tonight, love?" He looked up to where you were sitting next to him on the couch, hoping he didn't seem too eager to hear your answer, "You were pretty vague with the details over the phone."

"Fuck, Tommy, it was horrible," you took a sip of your cup, that was mostly filled with vodka, scrunching your nose as the liquid went down your throat, "I had a date tonight with that dude I was telling you about the other day, from my child and family development class."

Tom felt a pang in his chest as he remembered exactly who you were talking about, recalling how you fawned over him while the two of you were having lunch together, mentioning something about wanting to jump his bones.

He felt just as jealous then as he did now, wondering if you'd ever noticed the fact that he would literally do anything for you.

"Not only was he almost an hour late, didn't even bother to warn me, by the way," you rolled your eyes, bringing your cup to your lips again, "He wouldn't stop talking about his ex the whole time, but I'm getting ahead of myself, let me start from when he finally picked me up."

You continued on, taking large gulps of your drink as the details of the story got worse and worse.

Tom followed in your footsteps, drinking more from his cup than he had originally planned when you first handed it to him, each sip helping him refrain from blurting out what he actually wanted to say to you.

It was safe to say by the time you were done talking, the two of you were definitely tipsy.

It was safe to say by the time you were done talking, Tom was definitely buzzed. You on the other hand were on a completely different level, taking shots in between drinks, going harder than Tom had ever seen.

You had just finished your third cup, already working on your fourth one, while Tom had barely taken sips of his third one, figuring it'd be best if at least one of you slowed down.

"How do you manage to find the worst guys to go on dates with?"

You sighed, "I don't know, I just want one actually nice guy to want me, that's it."

'I want you,' is what Tom's thoughts were begging him to say. Instead he gave you a sympathetic smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, "You'll have that some day, darling."

You leaned back on the couch, sadness overcoming your features, "I wish there were more guys like you, Tommy."

He barely had time to register your words, his head fuzzy from the alcohol, before you distracted him with an awkward cough, mumbling something about it being too warm.

"Maybe you should take that as a sign to take a break."

Just like that the sadness washed away, replaced with a wicked smile, "I don't know what you're talking about, I'm only getting started."

Tom rolled his eyes, getting up from the couch with a groan and walking over to the fridge to get a couple of water bottles and the bag of chips on the kitchen counter, knowing you'd have the worst hangover if he didn't get some food and something non-alcoholic in your system.

He brought them over to you, handing you the bottle and putting the chips on your lap, "Eat something please, darling."

"Don't wanna eat," you shook your head stubbornly, "I wanna dance."

Before Tom could protest, you downed the rest of your cup before jumping up and grabbing his hand, pulling him up with you. "C'mon, dance with me, Tommy, please."

"But there's no music."

Tom expected you to do the easy thing and connect your phone to your Bluetooth speakers and play one of the dozens of playlists you had on Spotify, instead you caught him off guard by belting out the lyrics to What Makes You Beautiful.

He couldn't help the laughter that bursted from him as you started swaying and twirling while you sang.

It was totally ridiculous, but Tom found himself singing along with you, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you close so you could sway together.

After a while you stopped singing and put your head on his chest, making his heart hurt. He wished this was more than what it was, more than him comforting you after a bad date.

Tom tried not to dwell on his negative thoughts, deciding to just close his eyes, lay his head on top of yours, and enjoy having you close to him like this.

He got lost in you, the feeling of your hands in his and the way your body was pressed against him, so close he could smell the scent of your favorite perfume.

He'd been close to you so many times over the years, but something about this was inherently different, more intimate than you'd ever been before.

There was nothing he wanted more than to stay in this moment, in your embrace, for the rest of the night and honestly he would've if you hadn't somehow tripped over his feet, resulting in the two of you falling back onto the couch.

You landed on top of Tom, drunken giggles escaping your lips, "Are you okay?"

"I'm cutting you off for the night," he huffed, making you laugh even more as you attempted to apologize.

You rolled off of him after a moment, your chest rising rapidly as you tried to catch your breath. It took everything in him not to pull you back, his body aching for your warmth as soon as it was gone

"I think...it's time for bed."

"Good idea," Tom stood up, holding out his hand to help you do the same.

"Will you pretty please carry me? I have jelly legs."

Tom couldn't help rolling his eyes at you, "Jelly legs from what? You're the one that fell on me."

"Please?" You pouted, "Because you love me?"

'I really do.'

If he had wanted to, he would've put up a fight, but deep down he knew he would do anything you asked of him. You had him completely wrapped around your finger.

"Fine," he said, pretending to be annoyed, as if he hadn't already decided he would carry you the second you asked him to.

He hooked one arm underneath your legs, the other under your back, holding you close to his chest as he carried you to your bedroom.

"Thank you for taking care of me, Tommy," you said softly as he laid you down, pulling your blanket over you and pressing a kiss to your forehead.

"I'll always be here to take care of you."

'I'd do anything for you.'

He was about to leave your room and pass out on the couch, when you grabbed his arm, "Stay with me? Please?"

He nodded, wordlessly crawling under the covers beside you.

You turned over so you were facing him, your hands in between you, just barely touching Tom's, an unreadable expression on your features.

"What are you thinking about?"

You shook your head, "It's so dumb."

He gently nudged your leg with his, "Tell me, darling."

"I-fuck, okay," you looked down, suddenly very interested in the pattern on your blanket. "I swear there wasn't a moment tonight where I hadn't wished I was with you."

"After what you told me, I wish I was there too."

"No, Tommy, you don't get it," you chewed your lip nervously, looking everywhere but at him, "I don't just feel this way about this date, it's every date."

Your words weren't really clicking in Tom's head and he was starting to think the alcohol was having more of an effect on him than he originally thought.

"I want you to be the one to pick me up and take me to dinner. I want to hold your hand when we go to the movies," you voice got lower the more you talked and you shyly peeked up through your lashes to gauge Tom's reaction, "I want to kiss you and murmur how much I love you against your lips."

Tom's heart was beating hard against his chest, the sound so loud in his ears he could barely hear you.

He couldn't believe it. Were you really saying the words he's been wanting to hear since the day he met you?

If his head wasn't buzzing with a million different thoughts, he probably would've kissed you or at least said a few coherent sentences but all he could manage to blurt out was, "You love me?"

Something in you seemed to switch, your words stuttering and your eyes widening with shock as you realized exactly what you just said to Tom.

"Shit. I-I'm so drunk," you turned over, your back now facing him, "I, um, I'm tired. I need to go to sleep."

"Y/n-"

"No, Tom, it's okay. Please just Forget I said anything."

He laid there in complete silence, his eyes glued to your back as he contemplated what he should do, if he should say anything or do as you said and put tonight behind him.

'Don't be an idiot, tell her.'

"Y/n?"

You didn't say anything for a moment too long, making Tom's stomach clench. What if you were asleep and he missed his chance completely?

"Yeah, Tommy?" You said so quietly Tom could barely hear you.

"I love you too."

He felt like he was going to be sick as he waited for you to say something or just do anything to let him know you hadn't suddenly changed your mind.

Tom was starting to wonder if you heard him or maybe you just didn't care when you reached behind your back and grabbed his arm, pulling it towards you. You laced your fingers through his as you brought his hand to your lips, pressing a kiss to his knuckles.

He let out a breath of relief he hadn't realized he'd been holding before hesitantly scooting closer to you, closing up the little space between you.

Once again Tom found himself in a position he'd been a million times, wrapped up in you, but the air had changed and it was almost like it was the first time.

In the back of his mind he knew there was a chance you were only saying this because of the alcohol in your system, but he pushed the thought away, and nuzzled his face into your hair before closing his eyes, hoping you'd still mean what you said when the sun came up.

Tagging: @fangirlwithasweettooth @bravest-at-heart @hollandsamor @constellatinq @aidiastyles @ravenclawmarvel @cosmicholland @sleepyhollands @devildisguiseasangel @fairytaleparker @hollandsosterfield @now-imagine @officiallyunofficialperson @stealth-spiderr @xxxxdelenaxxxx @its-the-aerieljeane @petersstarcadet @babebenhardy @antoouu @lovinnholland @kxrtwxgner @sleepybesson @awkwardfangirl2014 @brookeelee98 @nedthegay @petersmparker @parkeroffline @snjms02 @the-queen-procrastinator @tomhollandsumbrella @spideyosterfield @thollandx @styles-balor4eva @80sthottie @marvelobsessedteenager @marshyrebelcloud @sixwyrxstuff @itscaminow @tomshufflepuff @jillanaholland @howdyherron @undiadeestos @quaksonhehe @theslytherinwarrior @itstaskeen

[teenage-fanbitch]

you left me in this broken world

Fandom: Dream SMP

Word count: 2317

Please remember that this fanfic is about the characters of the SMP, it is not about the content creators and should not be interpreted as suh. There are no romantic relationships in this fanfic because 1. I don't know if the ccs are comfortable with that and 2. I wrote this about their character's friendship.

-----

It was awkward when they first met. At least, for her it was. Will never had issues with meeting new people, he'd just be talking and talking until eventually the person in question talked back.

Maybe it was the way Phil raised him, or maybe he was just born like that. It didn't matter to Niki, because her friend would always smile.

That was something she never seemed to grow tired off. Not back when they first met, not now, not ever.

Things were easier back then, though. Will would sing for her, and they'd dance and laugh their sorrows away.

They'd lost that, somewhere along the way, and she longs to get it back.

They've been through everything together, been through fire and rain for the other. Perhaps it's why she can't handle being away from Will, from the person she considers her brother.

It's not as if she doesn't want him to have this, to create a home for himself, to be free from the voices haunting him in his sleep.

"You deserve the world, Niki."

She remembers watching him softly play a beautiful tune, remembers him warming her frozen fingers, remembers that those hands were not made for war.

"So do you."

-----

They reunite, eventually. She joins the SMP and jumps into Will's arms the moment she sees him. There's a faint smell of battle lingering in his hair, but that doesn't matter, because at least he's still here.

It's fun, walking around L'Manberg with Tommy excitedly telling her the story behind every building.

She understands why Will thinks of him as his little brother, because while Tommy may be annoying, it's endearing to watch him flounder around.

It doesn't calm the raging storm in her, because Tommy's a child, and he just fought in a war, fought for everything he believed in, and he'd died for it.

He'd died for a home.

And Niki will do anything to give her friends one. It doesn't matter if she's known them for years or just met them, they all deserve a place to be happy.

L'Manberg is her everything. It's a place she can annoy Will, can ruffle Tommy's hair, can pass Tubbo a smile, can joke around with Fundy, and can talk for hours on end with Eret, because even they deserve a friend.

Everyone deserves a friend.

-----

Her home is gone the second Schlatt took place on the podium. She's seen bad people before, seen their smirks, the hunger in their eyes, their desire to get what they want.

She's never seen it directed at Will. Everyone loved the boy who played music at the park, who smiled at every person he came across, if only to make their day a tiny bit better. She's never met anyone who looked at him like he needed to be destroyed.

Her hope is gone the second Schlatt banishes her friend. She's seen Will scared before, seen him at his lowest point, but nothing could prepare her for this.

This is Will's home, he fought tooth and nail for it, fought with everything he had. And now it's gone. Her friend loses it all in just a split second, and she can't help but cry his tears.

L'Manberg is gone the second its flag burns. This isn't what L'Manberg was meant to be, was meant to become. This is corruption, and if there's one thing Niki refuses to let happen, it's her friends losing themselves because of it.

-----

There are times when she feels like it's better this way, like Schlatt is a better leader than Will ever could be. Manburg is thriving, and nothing too bad seems to have happened.

But then she hears Quackity scream at Schlatt, and she sees the bottles of alcohol scattered across the white house. She spots Tubbo sneaking away, hands shaking with fear. She sees the hardened eyes of Fundy as he looks at the flag.

She sees herself, sitting at the L'Mantree, looking at where the walls used to be. This is their tree. Except it isn't really theirs anymore, is it?

There were times when they'd come to the tree when she'd listen to Will rant about governing, when Will would sing her a song after a nightmare and she'd finally be able to rest. But Will is gone now, and she's all alone again.

She wants it back. She wants her friend back.

-----

People always tell her she's too kind for her own good, that she wouldn't see an absolute asshole if they'd be standing right in front of her.

But it's not that she doesn't see it, or purposely ignores it. Even the most hated people can have a heart.

The citizens of L'Manberg hate Eret, warned her for the king, but she didn't listen.

Because she knows that deep down, Eret still has loyalty, still has something to fight for, still has a heart.

Even the worst people can be saved. That's what she always thought. But not now, as she stands in front of Schlatt and all she sees is rotten.

Schlatt doesn't deserve her kindness. Not after everything he'd done to her, to everyone. The first punch was one of anger, the second one of hatred, the third one of sadness, and by the fourth one she's lost it.

She's crying and punching and she doesn't even notice when her punches only hit air, when she's dragged away and all that is left are tears as she stares at the bars of her jail cell.

-----

Nothing has ever mattered more to her than this. Not when Tubbo is covered in burn scars, when Tommy is no longer bouncing around, when Quackity is silently standing in a corner, and Fundy looks at her like he doesn't know if it was worth it.

She doesn't either. Will has lost it, he wears insanity in his eyes and once she thought she could fix that, could convince him that it was going to be fine.

But she can't, can she? She hadn't missed his coldness towards Tommy, his not caring about Tubbo, his distrust of Fundy. Even Technoblade was worried about him, even Technoblade thought he was too far gone.

Nothing has ever mattered more to her than this, because maybe getting L'Manberg back will get her her brother back, will save him from whatever is destroying him.

-----

They won. L'Manberg is back in their hands and there's still hope. They can make this place a home again.

And so they remove the decorations, remove everything that has something to do with Manburg, with that vile memory.

She's the first to spot the TNT. No one else noticed, and she doesn't want them to. They're finally laughing and she doesn't want to ruin that. So she covers it up, she pretends like it isn't there because they're safe, right?

Until Technoblade breaks. And then so does Tommy, and Tubbo, and all of her friends. They all break.

And so does she, once she realises Will isn't there, because that can only mean one thing. She wasn't able to save him.

-----

She knows Will was gone long before, knows this is probably what he wanted, but she can't help her aching heart the second Phil puts his sword through her friend's chest.

She loved her brother more than anything in the world, and now he's gone. Killed by his own father, by one of the few people that knew how much he was actually hurting.

There's a scream on her lips, and she doesn't care if it gets out, because Will was the one person that had always been there for her, that promised to never leave her. And now he's dead. He's gone and he's not coming back and that scares her.

So she screams and she cries it all out, she doesn't fight the withers, doesn't care if they'll kill her.

Her throat aches and her eyes burn, and it's all Phil's fault. He's the one who did this to her, the one who took her home.

And she screams a little louder.

-----

She finds herself sitting at the L'Mantree again, reminiscing about a past time. Back when Will was still in charge, and they'd be looking at their country, and everything would be okay.

Back when Will would lend her an old coat of his to keep her warm. Now she stole the coat herself, she'd grabbed it from his body, had ruffled his hair one last time, and ran away with tears in her eyes.

She doesn't care that the coat is covered in blood, because it still smells like Will, and it still makes her feel safe.

And safety is something she hasn't felt in a while. Tommy looks so lonely without Will, Tubbo looks too small to wear a presidential coat, Quackity looks so quilty walking around town, Fundy looks so broken and grown up, Phil looks so quilty every time he spots the cave.

And Niki looks at New L'Manberg, and she feels the need to run.

-----

The first sign is the flag. It's a nice flag, and it's good to have something to symbolise a change, that they're not the same.

But it still pains her to see a part of Will disappear. He didn't get a grave, didn't get a memorial, it's like his memory was stained, like he was never even there.

The second sign is when Tommy's exile. It's fair, in a way, but the boy doesn't deserve this. Nobody deserve to relive their trauma like that.

Tommy's irrational actions have hurt a lot of people, but this was still his home, and it wasn't fair of them to take it away from him.

The third sign is the butcher army. Sure, Technoblade isn't exactly innocent, but they'd treated him like he wasn't even human, like he was less than a beast.

And while she may not have liked Phil, may be unable to look the man in the eye, they'd clipped him from his wings and chained him to his house.

L'Manberg was supposed to be free, a way to leave all that cruelty behind. And look at it now, look at what there is left of the nation Will had promised her, the nation he had build with his own two hands.

-----

She sheds no tears when New L'Manberg inevitably falls. This country has been walking a fine line for months now, it's not the place Will had promised her anymore.

It's not. Fundy knows it, Eret knows it, even Tommy and Tubbo know. It's not worth her tears, not worth for her to spill her heart.

So she burns it down. Drops some TNT when she feels like it, because she wants to be a part of its downfall, wants to destroy the thing that had taken so much from her.

The battle has already been lost when she spots the tree, spots the one thing that had remained the same through all these years, and she remembers sitting here and smiling.

Now she watches the tree burn, watches all the memories and all the suffering turn to ashes. Because, even if she had called this place home, had loved its inhabitants, it was never meant to be.

-----

She freezes. Of course she does, because she knows that sweater, knows that beanie, knows who it belongs to. She doesn't know that skin, can't know that skin.

Fundy told her Ghostbur had helped with the renovation, but it couldn't be true, could it? Will is dead, he's gone.

He would've come back for her if he was still here. Ghost or not.

He would've.

It must've been her imagination playing tricks on her, there's no yellow sweater, no red beanie, no Ghostbur.

So she does the one thing she knows how to do. She runs away from her problems once again, doesn't look back, and sets the world further ablaze.

Her world. His world.

Their world.

-----

It starts making sense now. She finally gets why Tubbo exiled Tommy. Sure, he abided Dream in doing so, what only worsened the situation, but she does get it.

Tommy started this whole thing. He considered the discs worth more than anything his friends worked their asses off for. He kept aggravating Dream. He took away everything from her.

Maybe things would be better off without Tommy, maybe Will would've still been at her side if it weren't for him. Maybe Tommy should just die.

-----

The plan doesn't work. Either because Tommy knows what's up or he's just the most lucky bastard on this server.

It hurts to see him like this, though, so insufferably annoying. Because this is the Tommy she first met, the boy who was so bright and had no idea what the future would hold.

How much suffering he'd put everyone through.

She can't stand his innocence, his ignorance, she can't stand him.

"I hate you!" She does, doesn't she? "You left me behind, Will!" But she's not talking to Will, is she? "Tommy. I meant- I meant Tommy."

She takes a few steps back, shakes her head as brown hair returns to blonde, and she doesn't stop the tears that fall.

-----

It's only in her dreams that she finds peace. She doesn't get many of them, she barely sleeps anyway, but when she finally drifts off and it's not the usual nightmares that plague her, she can't help but smile.

It's all a dream, she knows that, but everything is better than her reality, everything is better than the endless cycle of hurt.

So when she spots the L'Mantree still standing, and it's Will welcoming her with open arms, she gives in. She hugs him tight and while it may not be real, it's still Will.

It's still safe.

"Maybe I'll join you some day, Will. Then we can laugh like we used to, sing some songs. We can be free again."

-----

[fitmydaydream]

Vulnerable - Part 1

Part 1 / Part 2

Prompt: It was one fine day until Y/N accidentally hears Shawn mention her name in a conversation that she wasn’t supposed to hear.

Word Count: 3k

A/N: ANGST ANGST ANGST! This imagine is based on some prompts an anon sent me and I got deep into that concept so I decided to write a whole story about it. Thank you @anon. I hope you guys like it. Happy reading angels!

You knew this day was going to end on a great note or you atleast hoped it would. You'd enjoyed yourself today quite well and have had some sweet conversations with Shawn's family members and his friends and they all happened to like you quite better than you expected which meant you didn't have to loathe yourself at the end of the day.

The sun was almost ready to set down and it was time to bid goodbye to all.

You thanked Shawn's parents to invite you for such a great get together and let them know that you probably had one of the best brunches today.

Shawn's parents were really fond of you. They said that you were the girlfriend that he never had and had been always so welcoming towards you with open arms. Unlike anyone else, they were the only ones who knew about you and Shawn being in a relationship.

You hugged them and shortly after having a quick conversation with them, your eyes began to scan the crowd for Shawn. He was nowhere to be seen. So you decided to approach Aaliyah about his whereabouts right now.

"Hey Aaliyah have you seen Shawn? I think it's time for us to leave now and I cannot find him anywhere." you asked her.

"Oh yeah. I saw him in the backyard just a few moments ago. You can check him there if you want!" Aaliyah replied.

You thanked her and walked towards the backyard in order to get Shawn. Slowly, as you approached the backyard you started to hear whispers. You got confused from the fact as why Shawn has to whisper in his own house. You smiled to yourself as how silly he can be sometimes.

But as you got to the door that lead to the backyard. You stopped in your tracks. You didn't want to go further. You didn't want to eavesdrop but couldn't help when there was a mention about your name. You carefully hid yourself behind the door and tried listening to the ongoing conversation between Shawn and whom you assumed to be a bunch of other people, most probably his cousins.

"Like I can't even tell you man what's it all like. She's always wants to know where I am and what I'm doing like she's not my mother you know. Even mum doesn't do that anymore ahh!" Shawn whispered to the others. You still weren't able to make out what this was exactly about.

"Like she wants to know everything I do. Every place I go, I should go after informing her otherwise she would throw a fit. Constantly nagging and craving for attention." Shawn said. Your face fell at those words.

"Always so clingy man! I don't know what to do."

"Why don't you tell her? Maybe she'll get what you're trying to say? She's your girlfriend after all buddy." someone amongst the group spoke.

"Hell nah. I don't think that's a good idea because who knows what fit she'll throw next after hearing that." Shawn said slightly laughing.

Hurt and embarrassed would be the most appropriate words to describe what you were feeling right then.

Yes you were clingy but only because you weren't allowed to be with Shawn when you both were under the prying eyes. And for the fact, Shawn was always under the prying eyes and the camera flashes. Nobody except his parents was allowed to know about you two.

It has been 1 whole year into your relationship with Shawn and there he was still all secretive about his relationship with you to the public and most importantly, his friends.

The first 6-7 months you didn't care about this fact at all because you were trying to adjust to his lifestyle then. But it was after those 7 months when Shawn finally claimed the love he held for you that you started to feel a bit insecure about yourself but you brushed the feeling off for the sake that one day maybe he'll make it official to all his friends and his fans. But that hadn't happened till date.

You never complained about the feeling of sheer lonliness in such a big house. The homesickness you felt sometimes just for the sake that Shawn might be needing you instead and you didn't want to be a burden on him. You never compained about Shawn's lack of presence in his own house.

You never complained about the moments when he would avoid you in front of his friends and certain parties giving the lame excuse that he didn't want people to know about you both. He would exist like you weren't even there. You never complained about not holding his hand in public out of love just because the paparazzi could catch you and flash them as headlines on the front page. You never came between him and his music because you respected his passion so much.

And now he had the audacity to go and call you clingy and that too in front of his family members. You thought to yourself that this couldn't get any worse. A tear slipped from your eye and you quickly wiped it with your hand. You were heartbroken.

You started walking away thinking that you were gonna think about this once you get home and that this was not an appropriate place to confront Shawn about this.

You were too upset so you decided to slip through the backdoor and texted Shawn you were waiting by the car. You stood there by the car thinking about ways to confront him about this. Or were you actually really that clingy?

After about you saw Shawn walk out through the door of his house, waving goodbye to his parents and Aaliyah. He walked upto you smiling as if he'd just not told his fellows about his girlfriend being clingy.

Usually you would wait for Shawn to open the door for you but you were too pissed to let him do that so you climbed in the passenger seat and closed the door. Shawn got confused but somehow decided to let it go.

He sat himself in the driver seat and looked at you. You were looking outside the window trying your best to avoid him.

"Did you have a good time today babe?" Shawn asked you gently reaching for your hand.

"Yeah." you replied bluntly, quick to withdraw your hand from his.

"Baby are you okay? I mean is everything okay?" Shawn asked you concerning.

"Yeah. Can we please just go home. I'm too sleepy." you replied him quickly shifting your eyes away in the other direction.

Shawn wasn't convinced with your reply but decided to ask you again about this once you both got home.

The ride to home was short but an awkward one. Shawn tried to initiate several conversations between you two but they were shortly ended by you just humming or nodding in reply to whatever he was telling you. Shawn got an idea from that there was surely something up with you .

Once Shawn parked the car in your driveway, you opened the door and rushed towards yours and Shawn's so called home in order to go to your bedroom. The whole ride you've been thinking about the words that came out of his mouth and was trying so hard not to cry. It was getting too much for you now.

Shawn saw you rushing towards the house and was quick to follow you.

“Y/N! Why are you walking so fast? Y/N! Slow down!" Shawn yelled after you.

All his calls went unheard by you. You were like a bubble that was going to burst anytime now and you didn't want to talk to him right now and make it worse. But there was no escaping from him right now.

Suddenly you felt a strong grip around your right hand and Shawn turned you around to face him.

“What the hell Y/N? What is wrong with you?” Shawn asked you clearly pissed off.

You rolled your eyes at him out of annoyance. Annoyed by the fact that how cool and innocent he was acting as he just didn't do anything. You were so pissed off at him that even when he turned you around to face you, you didn't care to look at his face at all.

"What's with me?" you asked him plainly while looking at the wall behind him.

"Duh?? What's with you being all sappy all of a sudden? I think the lunch went quite well and you enjoyed it too. So what's wrong with you?" he asked you, his grip getting more firm around your arms. You took a deep breath and let it out. But it didn't help with the anger.

"Why don't you tell me that Shawn? Everything is so perfect and easy for you that you also assume other's to be like that right?" you hissed while pushing his hands off from you.

"What? What's wrong with me?" Shawn asked you completely unaware of what you were trying to say.

"Oh well nice. What a pretty drama queen you are. Play it all innocent and I'll let it go and run into your arms just like all those previous times. But not this time Shawn!" you spat.

Shawn began to get nervous. He didn't want to believe that you'd just heard the conversation he was having with his cousins. This could turn pretty bad he thought to himself. But he still tried to play it innocent and act cool.

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

"Don't play it cool because I know what you said about me Shawn. It's too late to back out!" you said raising your voice a little.

"You fucking eavesdropped? Are you crazy how can you do that Y/N?" Shawn said with a raised voice.

"How pathetic of you that you care about that but don't fucking care about what you said about me in front of your cousins? I seriously wanna applaud you for that." you said laughing sarcastically.

"Well I don't think I said anything wrong. Did I?" Shawn said bluntly.

“Wh-What? Oh my god I can't believe you Shawn. How could you fucking say that Shawn. If you'd a problem with me, you fucking talk to me Shawn and not to your cousins about it while mocking about it!” you raised your voice a little more this time. You were shocked and it was getting hard for you to not to cry.

"Well what could I've said to you Y/N? You're so bloody uptight about all the things always that I can't even talk to you." Shawn retaliated.

"Oh that's so great to hear that I'm the one who's being uptight here. Even if I'm uptight according to you, the reason behind it is you Shawn. It you. " you huffed.

"Oh now you're gonna turn this all on me? Well that's great because I don't have time for this shit Y/N!" he said with a voice much higher this time.

"Yes because this is indeed all about you. You don't have time for this shit Shawn or you don't have time for me? I think that's what you're trying to say right? Because you don't have fucking time for me any time Shawn. And that's the truth!" you yelled at him.

"This is so not true and don't you dare go there!" he hissed.

"Oh no! I'm absolutely gonna go there because you need to know what has been going on my mind lately. I'm in no way going to let you be anymore ignorant about this." you stopped yourself from breaking down.

He continued looking the other way and rolling his eyes which hurt you more that it had.

"Then listen Shawn. I don't recognise you anymore. You're not the same person who I fell in love with an year back. You're not that person who was proud to have me and didn't held back himself from showering me with affection an year back. You're a changed person Shawn. I didn't fall in love with this cold hearted person who's not even looking at me right now even when I'm about to break down. What happened to you? What happened to those times when you rush towards me with wide open arms to console me and telling me it's gonna be alright." you finally cried.

Shawn's face softened a bit after hearing your last words.

"What happened to those times when you would wake me up with a good breakfast on our bed and surprise me with a date anyday Shawn? But now you don't even consider having dinner with me atleast once a week. I let myself doze off to sleep when I get tired of waiting for you even when you know how much I hate sleeping alone Shawn. This home doesn't feel like home Shawn. It doesn't feel like the one we moved in so happily and with all those sweet promises we made to each other. I'm so tired. And most importantly, I don't even think you like me to be your side anymore?" your voice croaked at the end of the sentence.

Shawn's face suddenly turned to look at you with a hurt expression laced over his face.

"W-what do you mean Y/N?" he asked.

"It's pretty clear isn't it Shawn. How you don't want to be seen in the public with me? At first I understood it was important for your career to stay away from all the paparazzi and all the drama that would follow up with it but Shawn you fucking confessed you loved me! Didn't you? I believed you when you said I make you feel grounded. That you don't feel afraid with me. That you wanna be with me all the time. Were they all lies Shawn? When you're refused to go out with me in public, you agree just like that but how come you've no problem getting clicked with other girls?" you sobbed.

Shawn held his head down, looking at his feet. Probably ashamed?

"You've no idea what it feels like Shawn when I'm sitting on this couch for most times of the day and see pictures of you with other girls and people speculating about you being in relationship with them even though that's not true. Fuck people, even your friends or even the closest of your friends are fucking clueless about us being in a relationship Shawn because you don't like PDA in front of them. You act like I don't freaking exist Shawn. And even after all this, I decide to stick with you. Stick with you despite all the lonliness, insecurities and anxiety your fame life gives me because for me it was always and always you Shawn. It was always you and your music. It has always been all about you and your passion Shawn. I feel like there was and will never be a place for me in your professional life because I want to always see you rising. I don't want to hold you back. Hell I never held you back even when you were so selfish. You're so egotistical Shawn that all you care about is yourself. And despite all this you've the fucking audacity to go and call me clingy and uptight? I this what I get at last?" you were crying but you were in rage too. You were so angry with Shawn and his casual attitude.

Shawn stayed quite. He was numb. Didn't know what to say because every word that was coming out of your mouth was reflecting the truth and your pain.

"Are you ashamed to have me Shawn? Ashamed that I'm not as perfect like the celebrity friends you have? Ashamed that I might not be good enough to bring out in public and claim that you love me? Answer me Shawn! Just bloody answer me!!!" you yelled.

"W-What? Why would you s-say t-that?" he stuttered.

"That's not even an answer you idiot! Fuck that. Answer me this. Do you even love me anymore Shawn?" you said with pain visible in your words and eyes. Your eyes were begging him for the answer. You regretted asking him this but it was important to ask because maybe you were the one who was at fault here by having false hopes from him that Shawn was still in love with you.

Shawn looked at you with wide eyes. He seemed like his soul has left his body. He was breathing heavily. He seemed so out of words. You knew what it was. He was not in love with you. Not anymore. And you've got the answer from his silence. Your heart shattered into pieces and you felt sick to your stomach. You were losing your mind. A tear slipped from your eye. You were more angry with him than upset.

"You're a fucking coward Shawn Peter Raul Mendes. A fucking coward is what you are. I let all my walls down for you and this is what you treat me with. The pathetic silence." you spoke to him through gritted teeth and pointing your finger at his chest. Tears now streaming down your face.

“I hate you for making me feel so miserable.” you spat while pushing him away on his chest hard.

You couldn't stand him anymore. You needed to get out of this house right now. It was feeling like the world was closing upon you. Your vision blurred and turned and started walking away from him towards the door.

Shawn looked like if he had just seen a ghost.

"And don't you fucking dare to even follow me Shawn. Don't you fucking dare." you said while walking out of the door.

Tears welled up in his eyes. He loved you. More than anything else. He just didn't think if he was right for you at all. He didn't deserve you ever.

Shawn was sobbing hard looking at you walking away from him. Maybe he was used to walking away from you and make you suffer always but instead it was his turn today. Oh god what has he done.

xx

Feedback is always welcomed and appreciated♥️. Don't forget to hit REBLOG if you like it! Also, do you guys think I should make a part 2? MASTERLIST

[its-love-u-asshole]

Hi there. I love your writing style of Saruhiko and Misaki. You are definitely my favourite author by far. I was wondering if I could request a Sarumi fic but I am disgusting and want that fluffy, sappy cafe worker and regular customer AU where they eventually end up together with fluffy smut at the end. Kill me this is so lame. Thank you for your time. Sorry for my awkward sense of self, I never have requested anything before.

Ao3 Version

Rating: T

Notes: Hello! Thanks so much for this request, it was super cute and enjoyable to write and ahhh I’m so flattered that you like my writing so much orz I’m honored! I hope you can forgive me…it was really hard to find a place for a nsfw scene in this, so I left it out, but hopefully I can write smut for it in the future! Thanks so much once again!

‘Hey, what do you look like?’

His handwriting was bad today, worse than usual,the black ink smudging in some places from how close his palm was to the felttip of the pen. Yata swallowed thickly as he looked down at the sticky note,watching as his grip threatened to crumble the paper too much, making the wordsillegible.

Fuck, thatwould be his third attempt. He shoved the third sticky note into his pocket,convincing himself that he had the whole rest of his shift to get it right.Growling under his breath, Yata closed his eyes, letting the sounds ofclattering silverware and the chattering of customers fill his ears.

It was nearing the end of the late lunch hours,and service was winding down. Yata had barely clocked in thirty minutes before,catching the end of the rush, but it was by no means over. Soon, workers hungryfor dinner would pour in as well, and the cafe would be bustling once more,loud and smelling of fresh spices and mouthwatering dishes.

It wasn’t as bad as one would think, being the busboyfor a popular cafe. Not to mention, his boss was nice, and the customers wouldoften tip him for being so lively and efficient. Yata didn’t exactlyunderstand, all he was doing was clearing tables and doing the dishes, but hewas thankful. In the beginning it had seemed like an annoying, but easy job,not to mention all his friends worked in the same shopping center, and he couldmeet them after work. It didn’t pay a whole lot, but he worked another parttime job in the morning, and the tips from the cafe along with both checksallowed him to live a comfortable bachelor’s life, so he couldn’t complain.Homra had the best food too, and Kusanagi let him eat however much he wanted!

Still, his job wasn’t his current dilemma…morethe schedule…

The bundle of unused sticky notes in his pocketsuddenly felt a lot heavier.

Frustrated, he circled around the cafe again,picking up plates and wishing the patrons well as they collected their coatsand left. On auto pilot, he picked up the heavy plates of half eaten burgersand dessert pastries, silently scolding people for wasting so much food. Atleast anything in the kitchen which didn’t get eaten, including meals whichwere sent back, got donated to the hungry by Kusanagi.

Throwing the last of the plates into his gray bin,he wrung out one of the clean cloths he kept on hand, and began wiping down thetables. He had a good forty minutes before the dinner rush, maybe Kusanagiwould let him have a piece of cake…

He needed the distraction.

“Something wrong Yata-kun?” A feminine,yet strong voice broke him out of his thoughts, and despite how long he’dworked there, he felt his face flush stupidly as he tried to formulate aresponse.

Awashima waited for him patiently, the onlyindication of confusion being her quirked eyebrow as he knocked into the binbehind him. “A-Awashima-san! I’m fine! J-just, worried about getting allthis done before the rush…ha..ha…” Yata could’ve slapped himself.

“Oh? But you always get everything done in atimely manner. Are you sure?” The blonde inched forward a little, theconcern flashing only momentarily in the clear blue of her eyes.

Damn…

Yata was never a great liar, but lying to girlswas even harder damnit!

Awashima, Kusanagi’s wife, was always soperceptive too, making sure all the employees were in their best of sorts. Itwas another nice thing about Homra in a way, if a worker wasn’t feeling well orwasn’t comfortable for some reason, Kusanagi and his wife were alwaysunderstanding. It made them feel more like friends than superiors, and Yatarespected them with everything he had. Even if Awashima scared him at first…

Not only was she beautiful, but she could bedownright harsh to rude customers or part timers who weren’t giving it theirall. She was nice deep down though, and Yata could hold a decent conversationwith her now, a few stutters aside.

He groaned, shoulders relaxing in defeat as hebegan to scrub at a small stain. “Nothing…I just have…”

Ugh, fuck, this is embarrassing!

He knew Awashima probably already knew what it was, fuck, everyone in hisworkplace knew, even hisother friends knew, and they worked at completely different stores!

Why the blonde was forcing him to say it himselfwas humiliating, but maybe in a way it was good to vent.

“…It’s table four again…” That wasall he managed to say, and to any outsider it probably wasn’t odd, maybe tablefour was where big parties sat, or was harder to maneuver around. But Awashimaunderstood the real issue, a small, amused smile tugging at her lips.

“Ah…did something new happen? He was hereagain today, he looked more tired than usual,” she said with a laugh,following Yata to the next table as he wiped it down. Yata flushed despitehimself, tired huh?Saruhiko had told him he wasn’t one to get much sleep, but Yata wondered whathe actually looked like when he was exhausted. Did he have bags under his eyes?Was his clothing sloppy? What kind of clothes did Saruhiko even wear?

“N-nothing really, just…hey, can’t you guystell me what he looks like alreadu?! C'mon!” Yata bit his lip at his ownoutburst, but damn, it was frustrating! Plus…sometimes when things were onhis mind, he just blurted them out.

“I’m afraid not Yata-chan,” Kusanagi’ssmooth tone drifted into the space, and he casually wrapped an arm aroundAwashima’s shoulders, handing her a clipboard with what Yata guessed hadsomething to do with produce orders. “That would be cheating.”Kusanagi’s smirk told Yata he was having way more fun with his love life thanhe should be.

“But–!”

“Nope.”

Yata wanted to face plant against the table, butit probably wouldn’t have been a good idea, with all the chocolate stains andwhat not. Man, he could really go for some cake…

“Ah, I see you haven’t figured out the dailysticky note yet.” Kusanagi chuckled, watching as Awashima made her wayback to the kitchen. The cafe was mostly empty now, aside from an old couple onthe far side of the room, and the hostess at the front. Douhan hardly ever leftthe post, but Yata just knew she was listening.

Everyone here is so damn nosy!

Ever since that first day…

–

A few months back, Yata had been pissed cominginto work. Someone at his other job had made his life hell, leaving him allkinds of extra work in the construction yard. Yata’s muscles were sore, he wastired, and the last thing he wanted was to bus tables. The rush that night hadbeen especially bad, but it wasn’t what had set him off.

No, in fact, the problem had happened before thedinner hour had begun at all. Table four. Yata rarely cleaned that side of the cafe,but it was his first day switching after a new busboy had been hired to helpout, so now Yata was responsible for the right side of the cafe. No big deal,it was still the same job.

Or at least, he'd thought so. The customer at table four hadalready been gone by the time Yata had clocked in, but his mess was stillvisible, as if mocking Yata, challenging him to pick it up.

What kind of asshole….

The table was littered with notes, the rings ofthe half consumed coffee mug making the papers soggy and plastered to thetable. The papers were crumpled, obviously scratch paper, like someone had comein, done a furious amount of homework, and then had dashed out without a carein the world. The various equations and definitions on the sheets were foreignto Yata as well, maybe math…physics? Whatever, point was, it was messy andtotally inconsiderate!

Yata had grumbled about it the whole time he hadpicked it up, swearing at the mushy paper and ink stains which wouldn’t comeoff his hands. He knew it was his job to clean up, but who was such a dick thatthey left all this for the staff to deal with?!

He was at least raised way better than that.

After he’d successfully cleared it, he wasimmensely relieved, cursing whoever had occupied the table before, and hopingthey never came back.

Yata had never been lucky.

The whole week, the whole fucking week, whenever Yata clocked in,table four was waiting for him, messier than the previous day. Yata wasbeginning to think it was a prank, or some unknown enemy he had picked up onaccident, because that’s how deliberate it looked.

But no…

“Oh, table four?” Douhan looked up fromher list of reservations, preparing for the dinner rush. “It’s the sameguy every day, he comes in all huffy with his backpack, and won’t leave for twohours at least. He doesn’t talk much, and only orders coffee.”

“He’s not the nicest, but he makes my jobeasy,” Chitose voiced, bringing the serving trays out from the back.Chitose was one of his friends, the one who’d gotten him the job in the firstplace, a waiter who seemed to know a lot of questionable things about theregulars. “He doesn’t talk a lot, hell, I don’t even know much about him.Only his order.”

Now, that was weird. Chitose could make anyonetalk with enough prodding, so this guy must really be a piece of work.

Heh, that fits.

The next day, Yata glared at the table, eyetwitching as he noticed more papers, and some leftover pens as well. How uncaring was this guy?

On top of it all, and perhaps what pissed Yata offthe most, was the plate. For once, the guy must’ve ordered food, but from whatYata saw, he might as well have not. The redhead recognized the dish. It was asignature steak, complete with a side of vegetables. Fresh vegetables. Homra put a lot ofeffort into finding good suppliers so all their food was delicious, and this motherfucker…

Most of the steak was eaten, but all thevegetables had been crammed to one side of the plate, like they werecontaminated, some of them spilling off onto the table.

Yata blinked, staring into the void where thetable happened to be, the anger which had built up over the week surfacinguntil–

His impulses took over, and he stomped over toDouhan’s station, not answering her questioning look as he grabbed the stack ofsticky notes she kept there, and trotted back to the table, picking up one ofthe shitty pens the asshole had left behind.

Looking back, it wasn’t his shining moment. Yatahad no right to scold a customer, and he could’ve gotten in a lot of troublefor it, but fuck, he wasso pissed.

Angrily, he scribbled his frustrations down, notreally thinking.

'Excuse me, but some people have to clean upafter you! Who the hell leaves all their homework notes behind??? And how doyou even walk, all you ever order is fucking coffee and now you order steak anddon’t eat the vegetables! Are you dying?’

He grabbed the napkin holder, folding the note andstuffing it into the back of it, leaving only one edge sticking out.

For a brief moment, Yata’s anger cleared, and hethought maybe he shouldn’t be doing this. After all, if anyone looked hardenough, they could find the note, and he’d get in trouble, or the guy he wastargeting would report him too. Or maybe, no one would find it, and it’d sit inthe holder forever.

He exhaled suddenly, the tension flooding out ofhim. Right, this is stupid…

He should know better, he wasn’t some kid anymorewho could fight the world whenever he wanted. He had bills to pay and rules tofollow, and as much as he hated it, he’d try his best to keep a level head.Yata reached forward slowly, about to tug on the edge of the bright yellowpaper sticking out and discard the note for good. It wasn’t worth it in theend, he reasoned. Though, it would’ve been nice to give the table four guy agood scolding for all the trouble he’d caused.

Whatever, it’s not that big of a deal.

At that exact moment, the door whooshed open, andYata realized in terror how much time he’d wasted. Forgetting about the note,he rushed to pick up the last of the main room, and waited for the dinner rushto begin.

–

The next day was the same as usual, except whenYata walked up to the dreaded table four, there was a note.

A boring one, different from the bright yellowbear and animal shaped ones which Douhan kept. It was square, and a light blue,so simple, yet it froze Yata in his tracks.

Shit.

So that's what he’d forgotten. Yata feltpanic and relief all at once. Panic, because man, he seriously prayed no oneelse had walked by before he’d arrived and seen the note first. Relief, becauseboth bosses had greeted him happily on his way in, meaning that they had noknowledge of the note, and that table four guy hadn’t complained.

At least he’s trying to resolve this betweenthe two of us.

Yata almost felt guilty. He’d been in a bad mood,and had raged at an unsuspecting customer. A sloppy, obviously inconsideratecustomer, but still a customer.

He shook it off, approaching the note, so thewording became clearer, and hoped he could move on after reading the guy’sapology.

Only it wasn’t an apology.

There, scrawled in neat, almost femininehandwriting, were two phrases, ones Yata would never forget, and all sense ofguilt or amity flew right out the fucking store window.

'It isn’t my fault you can’t do yourpathetically easy job. Fuck you.’

This…

“This asshole!” Yata’s grip on the notewas fierce, and he threw it roughly into the garbage, seething from deep withinhis soul.

No. No way am I gonna take that!

For the second day in a row, he stormed over toDouhan, who didn’t even glance up from her magazine as he took a bundle ofsticky notes. These ones were duck shaped, not the most intimidating, but theywould have to do. He scribbled as fast as he could, aware that he should reallystart getting shit done, his handwriting twelve times sloppier than the guy’s.Somehow, it pissed him off even more.

'Fuck you! At least I was raised with mannersand shit! Fucking come say that to my face you dick!’

Yata had jammed the note into the holder, itchingfor a response.

–

That had been how it all started, and now he washere. Yata groaned, scrubbing a little too hard at a stain, threatening to peelsome of the paint off the table’s surface. He glanced up at Kusanagi with anunamused expression, thinking back to his comment.

“I figured out the sticky note for todayokay! It’s just embarrassing!” Yata glared at his boss, watching as theother was obviously enjoying his pain.

“Hey, you brought this on yourself,”Chitose’s voice lingered from the kitchen, and soon after, he stepped out, nolonger in his uniform. Chitose was off work, soon to be replaced by anotherserver, and Yata envied him as he began to waltz towards the exit. “Youwrote him first. You really suck at flirting, in fact, the both of youdo.”

Yeah. He couldn’t argue with that. It wasn’t likeYata had been trying to flirt in the first place though damnit! It hadjust…happened.

Fushimi Saruhiko. That was table four guy. Yatalearned the name after about a week of their feud. After their first exchange, Saruhikohad made it his mission to mess up his table as much as possible, seeminglyfueled by his spite for Yata. The redhead had cursed him all along the way, andtheir correspondence increased rapidly over the next few weeks purely out ofshared pettiness.

It started off as expected: insults. Saruhiko wassurprisingly witty and clever with his comebacks, which only served to increaseYata’s anger with every work day.

'As if I’d want to fight a cafe worker. Maybe Ican’t, for all you know I could be some old man who you’re harassing.’

'Cut the crap! Your homework has universityclass headers! You can’t be that old!’

'Ah, snooping are we? And commenting on my dietearlier, you must genuinely care.’

'You better hope I never see your stupidface on the street!’

'Even if you did, it’s not like you’d know.’

That conversation haunted Yata more now,considering Saruhiko had been right. They’d been talking through sticky notesfor almost two months, Yata knew all sorts of facts about the other, but whatSaruhiko actually looked like was still a mystery, and the worst part was, hewas the only one in the dark. All his morning coworkers, his bosses, they all knew.

It’s not like it would’ve mattered, if it hadn’tbeen for the fact that Yata, somewhere in between those exchanged insults,which had then turned into casual questions, and then small talk, hadcompletely developed a crush by accident.

How fucking lame.

It wasn’t like he could help it. He’d learned asurprisingly amount of stuff about Saruhiko, and in return had shared a goodamount of stuff about himself. Maybe it was stupid, after all, Saruhiko wastechnically a stranger, but…

Yata smiled to himself as he wrung out a new rag,bits and pieces of conversations running through his head in a split second. Hethought about each note, each topic and fact he’d learned about the other boy,all leading up to the very last one he’d had.

'Hey, how come you never come eat dinner oranything here? You come every day for lunch.’

'Do you want me to?’

Yata nearly dropped the utensils he’d beenpicking up as a flush spread out across his face. Fuck, thank god Saruhikowasn’t actually at Homra, Yata was mess today…

Yata stared at the singular question, bitinghis bottom lip, because really, the answer was obvious. Of course, he wantedSaruhiko to come when he was actually working. Yata wanted to see him, talk tohim in person, maybe…

Yata shut that train of thought down as fast ashe could, and instead shakily wrote out his response.

'Well…yeah, don’t you want to?’

It might’ve been lame, but what did Yata have tolose? He was pretty sure his feelings were obvious anyways…right? Could thosethings even come across in such little notes? Sure, sometimes they’d use up twoor three for their responses, almost like letters, if the conversation neededit, but was that enough?

Yata tried to reason with himself that if itwasn’t obvious, if Saruhiko asked, he’d have to spill his guts. Then…ifSaruhiko rejected him, there’d be no real problem, because they didn’t knoweach other and would never have to cross paths.

Yata swallowed thickly at the thought though.No, that wasn’t true. He didn’t know what Saruhiko looked like, the color ofhis eyes, the style of his hair, but he knew he liked video games, and hatedparties, and his hobby was graphic design, and he seldom slept well, and awhole bunch of other shit which made him feel close to the other.

Yata snapped back to the present when Chitosecontinued to talk to him. “You know Yata, you don’t exactly have to worry.That guy comes in and the first thing he does is read your note and respond, hedoes it before he even gets his coffee! That guy practically lives off thatshit too…”

Yata’s hands tightened around the rag, the watersloshing out over the table he’d been cleaning way too long, and a spike ofhappiness nearly knocked him into oblivion.

Saruhiko…was excited to talk to him.

“So, yeah,” Chitose said breezily,waving goodbye as he headed out the door. “He’s into you, so write yourdamn response and ask him out already!”

Kusanagi chuckled beside him, flipping through thepaperwork he held as he shot Yata a knowing look, and headed to the other sideof the cafe.

Ask him out…

Part of Yata wondered if it was too soon, if therequest would be too sudden, but then there was that knowledge from before. Heknew Saruhiko, not fully, but…

He knew Saruhiko was smart. That was the firstthing he’d discovered.

–

One day, Yata hauled himself through the cafedoors grumpily, pinning on his name tag and carrying his bin over to tablefour, same as every day, expecting the usual smart ass note. He’d gotten one ofcourse, a response to his last, and a bit longer than usual, taking up almostthe whole sticky note.

'I don’t do my homework here because I want to,it’s just quieter, but you sound obnoxious, so maybe you just don’t knowanything about that concept. I like getting my homework done all at once, it’sa pain if I wait.’

Yata glared down at it, pulling out his ownpack of notes (which he now kept in his pockets, as one does when engaged in anote war with a rude son of a bitch) in preparation for his reply. Somethingstopped him that day though. He looked over mid-sentence, seeing a stack ofpapers which stood out from the usual notes and scribbles Saruhiko tended toleave behind.

They seemed more important somehow, and begrudgingly, Yata scooped them up,intent on putting them in the lost and found. Upon closer inspection, hefigured out they had been a few of the other’s past exams, physics from whatthe headers said, and Saruhiko had scored high. 

Like, impossibly high. And shit, it was prettyamazing.

He’d stared at them for a good two minutes,going over the information on each page, the difficult concepts whichSaruhiko’s nice writing seemed to answer quickly and efficiently, like anexpert, and Yata couldn’t help but be impressed.

All previous comebacks and taunts left hismind, and he’d written one question on the small square for the day.

'Hey, you scored almost perfect on yourtests! What do you study?? That’s so cool!’

It was only later that Yata raced back to thetable before closing, and added something to the end.

'For a jerk anyways!’

Saruhiko had ended up being a double major, inphysics and biology, and Yata wondered how he wasn’t dead. Saruhiko had seemedshy at first to answer Yata’s questions about university life, but after awhile, most things were fair game. Saruhiko liked his professors well enough,but he thought his campus was too crowded. Saruhiko got good grades (somethinghe’d only admitted after a lot of prodding on Yata’s part), and his Tuesdaysand Thursdays were the busiest.

'What about you?’

It was the third week of their correspondencewhen Saruhiko asked him his first question, and for whatever reason, it madeYata’s heart stop for a millisecond, and he’d paused before reading the rest ofthe note.

'You don’t go to school or anything?’

“Ooo, what are you gonna say?”Chitose’s voice came up behind him, and Yata all but had a heart attack,jumping back and hitting his hip against the table, all the while Chitose wenton as normal. “That must be kinda embarrassing…but don’t worry!”

Yata’s annoyed look morphed into confusion, andhe blinked at his friend. “Huh…embarrassing? Why?”

Chitose must’ve realized right then that he’dstepped on a land mine, because he waved his hands in front of him immediately.“N-nothing! Just tell him whatever you were gonna tell him!”

The damage was done though, and Yata wasnervous. Still, he wasn’t a liar…

'No…I dropped out of high school becauseit rlly wasn’t for me you know? I work though! My jobs aren’t for smart peopleI guess ha, but I’m glad I have them!’

Yata tried not to sound too defensive, but hecouldn’t help it. He didn’t want Saruhiko to think he was dumb (if he didn’talready), and the rest of the day and the next was filled with a strange new anxiety.

The next day, he’d gone to table four, and therest of his shift, his coworkers were concerned his face was stuck in apermanent grin.

'You have a job, so what does the rest matter?’

After that, it had been easy to tell Saruhiko allhis work stories, all his encounters with mean customers and dumb jokes fromthe break room. Saruhiko asked him more questions than before, stuff about ifhe liked working in a restaurant, and if it made him sick of the food.

It was so weird, being able to talk to Saruhiko sonaturally. By the end of the first month, Yata knew he just clicked with theother, and damn it, he wasn’t going to let that slip by. Though…

Getting the more personal details out of Saruhiko,it had been more of a challenge, but Yata never backed down from those. 

'You must study a lot, when do you have timefor fun? Hanging out with friends and stuff…All my friends work in thiscenter, so it’s awesome!’

'Fun? Most of the people I talk to areclassmates, so I see them often. I don’t dislike them I guess.’

Yata smirked at that. Saruhiko was so hesitantat admitting things sometimes, Yata could tell from his writing alone.Basically, in Saruhiko speak, he did indeed have friends, and he probably likedthem a lot.

Yata didn’t exactly know where to start withthe response. He had so many questions. What were Saruhiko’s friends like? DidSaruhiko act different around them? Did he have a lot? What did they dotogether?

There was so much he wanted to know, it waslike he was playing catch up. He was jealous of people who already knewSaruhiko, who got to be around him all the time…

Eventually, Yata calmed down, and figured thetopic of friends would be a long conversation and was better saved for later.Besides, what he wanted to know most of all…

'You don’t have anything else you like todo? I play video games when I get home! I also like action movies n stuff. Dou? What are your faves??’

Yata was excited to know. Small details, bigdetails, whatever Saruhiko would offer. It was after that reply that he’d begunto start day dreaming. Maybe he and Saruhiko could go see movies together, ifthey liked the same kinds. Or maybe Saruhiko could come to his apartment andthey could play video games, Saruhiko would probably be good at the strategyones…

He’d bolted into the cafe the next day, hardlyremembering to shrug on his apron as he walked briskly to the table which he’dcome to hate less and less each day.

His heart raced when he realized he’d been leftfive notes, small paragraphs, and he wanted to jump for joy.

'I guess, I like those things too.’

It was shortly after, in between the movieanalyses and talking about their game collections, that Yata knew he likedSaruhiko more than just a friend.

–

Yata began to look forward to each new note, nomatter how brief. He grew excited, thinking about the papers of physics noteswith little doodles and messages about how to beat certain bosses in the newestgame they both owned. Yata was so lame, he was even happy about picking upSaruhiko’s half empty coffee cup, still warm and serving as a reminder thatyes, Saruhiko was real, and he’d only just missed him. Yata would run from hisfirst job, eager to see what Saruhiko had left him in the shoddy napkin holder.Yata would daydream at his morning job, dream that maybe if he ran fast enough,he’d catch Saruhiko before he left and they’d finally meet.

No such luck so far.

Yata finished cleaning the last table just as thefirst party showed up for the beginning of the dinner rush, and he realized itwas now or never.

He didn’t think he had enough confidence to askSaruhiko out quite yet, plus…part of him wanted to do something like that inperson, as cheesy as it was.

“Welcome to Homra, how many thisevening?” Douhan’s level voice carried through the cafe, alerting the waitstaff and cooks to get ready, and Yata made his decision. He still had one morequestion he wanted to ask, no matter how humiliating it was, no matter how muchSaruhiko might laugh at him for it.

Walking over to table four, Yata gently pulled outSaruhiko’s last note to him.

'I can’t come at dinner time until my semesteris over, my classes run late, by the time I’m out, the cafe is closed.’

Yata’s breath catches again, as it had the firsttime he read it, as his eyes drifted to the second half of the note. 'Otherwise, I would.’

He would come see me if he could. Once thesemester is over, Saruhiko can come see me.

It’s all the motivation he needed really, as he tookout his pen and the dumb stack of duck shaped notes.

'I’m glad you can come at all, I want youto. Btw Saruhiko–’

The crowds start to flood in, and Yata took in adeep breath.

’-what do you look like?’

–

As Yata sat in bed after a long day, he foundhimself wondering what the fuck compelled him to ask that question. It probablylooked super weird, maybe even pervy, and he was cursing himself once again.

It was too late though, he’d done it. That dumbnote was sitting in the napkin holder right now, unable to be retrieved or tornup. Saruhiko was going to read it, and the realization made Yata giddy andnauseated all at once.

He wanted to know, he wanted to know so much ithurt. He wanted to put a face to the name, make his daydreams less hazy.Saruhiko had to be handsome, it didn’t matter if it was in the traditionalsense or not. Saruhiko would be handsome to Yata, there was nodoubt. Yata had theorized before, and it was fun, but there was no beating thetruth. At the thought, he laughed to himself, clutching his pillow a littletighter as a few memories crossed his mind.

'Ur a real piece of shit. You should rllyeat better…and stop leaving ur shit on the table!’

Saruhiko had left another plate of vegetablesabandoned that day, and Yata glared. The homework he’d gotten used to, withmost of his initial anger about it gone, but the food was something which hadcontinued to bother him.

'I don’t like vegetables. What do you care?’

'I don’t know, all you drink is coffee, andif you don’t eat vegetables, who knows what kind of shit you’re eating atdinner time!’

'How sweet of you, but I’m alive, so no need tonag me.’

Looking back at those few days of exchanges, Yatasmiled fondly. Saruhiko was probably some skinny guy, that much he could guess.Then there was also the other annoying detail…

'I could totally take you! I’m tougher thanI look!’

The proclamation had ended up being a mistake.

'Oh? Are you on the smaller side then? How tallare you, Misaki?’

A few days and some embarrassed insults later,Yata found out how tall Saruhiko was.

What a bastard…

That was it though. Saruhiko was tall, probablyskinny, and always looked tired (according to his co-workers). Yata had anagging feeling that he didn’t smile much either, but it somehow seemed to fit.

As gone as Yata was, he couldn’t help but beannoyed that the only thing Saruhiko knew about his appearance was his height.

–

“Um…Yata-kun, aren’t you going to readit?”

Awashima’s voice sounded miles away, but even thenhe could hear the light teasing there, and it became a bit clearer as to whyshe and Kusanagi were perfect partners after all.

“Uh, why?” Yata winced at his own stupidquestion.

“Well…it’s quite obvious you want to,”she tried again, tapping her pen against the table’s surface. “You’ve beenhere quite a while.”

She had a point. Yata had been standing in frontof table four for way too long, staring at the napkin holder with sweaty palmsand a flushed face as the corners of the same, plain blue note stuck out.

Fuck.

There it was, the excitement pooling in his gut.Would Saruhiko indulge him, would he finally know? Or would he be made fun ofor called weird? Would this be the last note he ever–

“Yata, you still have six more tables,”Douhan’s calm voice called from the hostess stand, and it was enough to snaphim out of it. Though they could be a little too perceptive for Yata’s comfort,he was thankful for his female co-workers, if only because they helped him geta grip.

Right, I have to read it now or wait untilafter dinner, and hell no am I doing that!

Carefully, he reached forward, tugging at the foldof paper. It was only one note, not the usual three or four, so he already feltdread as he unfolded it, the neat words revealing themselves.

All anxiety was replaced with relieved amusement,and Yata didn’t know whether to be pissed off or over the moon.

'I don’t know. Normal I guess. Why?’

God, if that wasn’t such a Saruhiko thing to say.

He started laughing, which must’ve concernedAwashima, because she reached to pluck the note from his hands, reading it inconfusion.

“He’s an odd one.”

Yeah…

When his chuckles finally subsided, Yata feltready to work, deciding to leave his response for after his shift was over.

He was in a good mood throughout the dinner rush,and actually ended up receiving a few tips from customers who found hispresence refreshing when he went out to help with large parties. All the while,Saruhiko’s note was on his mind.

Yata couldn’t believe he’d expected anything different.Saruhiko, the same shy Saruhiko he’d been talking to, wouldn’t just give him anall-out description of his fashion sense, of his eye color, his face shape.Hell, he probably hadn’t even considered it, and it made Yata grin whenever hethought about it.

What a loser.

Sometime in the midst of his rounds, he droppedoff his reply, and this time he couldn’t wait for Saruhiko’s.

'No! I meant what do you LOOK like? Youdumbass. I want to kno that shit, don’t you?’

The next day, Yata was on cloud nine.

'Of course, don’t be dumb.’

–

There had been some resistance even after that,Saruhiko was obviously too humble, but after Yata had looked at his own self inthe mirror (which had been painfully awkward and sorta weird to do alone in hisown apartment for longer than a few minutes), and told Saruhiko hisobservations with little embellishment, Yata had gotten what he wanted.

He bit his lip, clocking into work after his breakand letting the thoughts flood him.

Saruhiko was tall. Lanky and tall. He had blue eyes, and his skin was light and pale.Saruhiko styled his hair with gel, the brown swoops would otherwise sit flat onhis head apparently, which annoyed him greatly. Saruhiko wore a lot of hoodiesand jeans, and he also sported simple, black framed glasses.

With each detail, the blurred image in Yata’s headbecame clearer and clearer, though it was never enough.

The taller’s eyes probably stood out brightlyagainst his skin, the glasses heavy and managing to hide the bags of exhaustionunder Saruhiko’s eyes. Saruhiko’s hair was probably long enough to thread hishands through it, Yata would probably have to push off his feet a bit to be eyeto eye, to kis–

“Yata, table three!”

“R-right!”

Every 'probably’ in his head multiplied, but ashappy as it made him, he wasn’t sated.

I want to see him.

He wanted every 'probably’ to become 'actually.’

–

'I want to see you for real now.’

'There’s not much to see.’

…

'Saruhiko, ur an ass but I think I reallylike you.’

'You’re obnoxious, but I probably like you too.I can’t explain it otherwise, it’s annoying.’

'Explain what?’

'Why I think about you.’

…

'Have you ever kissed anyone before? Ihaven’t but I bet I wouldn’t be that bad heh…’

'Mm. You probably wouldn’t be. I don’t knowabout me though. It doesn’t look too hard. It’s stupid.’

'Well pft I’d help or whatever.’

–

It was another month of replies later, and it wasthe last week of university instruction. Not that Yata had looked it up oranything…no way.

The conversations with Saruhiko had gotten moreand more intimate, to the point where Yata would wake up with…problems, andhe’d get distracted at work more often.

He got made fun of, of course. He was pretty sureEric (the perv) had peeked at more than a few notes, and Chitose had shot himknowing glances across the room more times than he could count. Douhan andAwashima also felt the need to update him every day now, which he was secretlygrateful for.

'He blushed today, I’ve never seen him do that,what did you tell him?’

'He actually smiled, it was unreal.’

'He cleaned up after himself when he spilled hiscoffee. He looked pretty determined to keep the table clean.’

Though all the teasing and implications werehumiliating, it couldn’t stomp out the overall ecstasy he was feeling as theweeks went by, and now…

'My last final is Thursday afternoon.’

The week couldn’t go by any slower.

He dropped about five plates over the next fewdays, bumped into tables one too many times, and Kusanagi had scolded him quitea bit more than usual. He couldn’t help it, he was distracted.

Saruhiko was going to come eat dinner on Thursday.Saruhiko was going to be there when Yata was working. Saruhiko was going tomeet him.

Rumor spread in the cafe pretty damn quickly,which only served to make Yata twenty times more nervous.

What if Saruhiko changed his mind, or didn’t likewhat he saw? What if they had nothing to talk about in person?

Shit, I’m screwed. Why am I being such a kidabout this?

“Yata.”

Douhan’s light voice made Yata jump, clutching hischest as he turned to see her in the doorway of the break room, calm and maybea bit put off from the noise.

“Uh…s-sorry. What is it?”

Wordlessly, she closed the distance, pulling outan object from her bag and handing it to him, before turning back and out thedoor.

Right before she left for good, she turned, aneasy grin on her usually impassive face. “He left it for you today.”

Yata’s eyes widened, flying to the item in hishand, only to see it was the newest game for the console only Saruhiko owned. Yatahad the older model, so he was confused at first, to say the least. There wasanother note on top however, a smaller one, but it was everything to Yata.

'It’s a quick game, maybe on Thursday, you cantry it out at my place to see if you want to borrow it. Something tells me someoneas brash as you would need help anyways.’

A shiver ran throughhim, and Yata stupidly clutched the note in his hand, rushing to the employeeroom to put it somewhere safe, as if he was imagining it and wanted prooflater.

Saruhiko was such a dick, but he was also awkwardand shy and had totally invited Yata over, and the redhead’s anxiety quicklyspun into anticipation.

–

The last note he left Saruhiko was on Wednesdaynight.

'I’ll see you at dinner you loser.’

–

Thursday’s dinner shift was one of the worst inhistory, and while Yata wasn’t one for superstitions aside from the occasionalparanormal shit, he was pretty convinced the shift had been littered with badomens.

First, a spill at table six, which had left hissweater completely covered in some screaming kid’s root beer. Yata handled itlike a champ, not letting his discomfort show until he’d calmed the boy downwith another soda and a replacement coloring set and made his way to the back.

He’d worn one of his nice hoodies, one with lesstears and unraveled threads. He may have worked as a busboy, and no doubt hisclothes got dirty with each shift and he smelled like dish water, but damnit,if he wasn’t going to try and make some kind of impression on the guy he’d beeninterested in for months!

Sadly, the plan had failed, though he couldn’t saythe plain white long sleeve he had on under his sweater was that bad. He’d just have to becareful…

That plan had also been flushed straight down theshitter.

One of the newer employees had also managed to letthe mop sink in the back overflow, and Yata had been the one to clean it,effectively soaking through his shoes and socks.

The most recent issue, the dreaded Burger Incident(Chitose had already given it a name, ha fucking ha), was still sitting heavyon his shoulders (and on his shirt).

Who knew slipping on a slightly under cooked pattywould lead to a near death experience.

Yata sighed heavily as he cleared yet anothertable, trying his best to keep on a neutral expression as the chaos of thedinner rush continued around him.

Then…there was the biggest disappointment.

It was halfway into the rush, and still noSaruhiko. Yata tried to reason through it as best he could, but he’d never beenthe particularly patient type.

He’s just running late.

There’s still two hours left.

He wouldn’t forget.

He wants to see me.

But as he looked to the door, where new familiesand business executives kept coming through, he felt his heart sinking.

“Excuse me.”

Maybe he’s just…

“Excuse me sir!”

Yata was jolted back to his senses by the sound ofa woman from two tables down, and it was obvious her irritated stare wasdirected at him. Yata straightened immediately, making his way over and lettinghis customer service persona consume him as best he could. He wasn’t a server,but Kusanagi always said it was everyone’s job to assist patrons.

With his usual grin and unsuspecting optimism,Yata waited for whatever the woman had to say, trying not to take it toopersonally when she didn’t even face him when she was speaking.

“Yes, if you could, would you find my waiter?He can’t even take a proper food order it seems, I asked for seasonedvegetables, not rice, and I wanted this steak well done.”

In his head, Yata’s alert system goes offimmediately, because really, this is how most 'awful customer’ situationsbegin, and he knows he has to diffuse it as quickly as possible.

Since it was table nine, it was most likelyChitose’s, and luckily the other could talk his way out of most situations. Hewas probably ringing someone up…

“Ah, I’m really sorry about that m'am! Let mejust find him and take this back to the kitch–”

“How difficult is it really? I was very clearwith my order, I expect him to be properly dealt with.”

And that’s when Yata tenses.

Uh oh.

Douhan’s green irises flashed in his directionfrom where she was seating another party, and they seemed to echo the samerealization.

It’s one of those. This is bad. Abort mission.

'One of those’ usually meant a rather intensecustomer, someone who complained about little things, and simultaneously putdown the staff. They were never fun, and Yata had seen it from afar, butdealing with it himself was terrifying.

“Again, I apologize, I’ll take care of it andget you a new meal as soon as possible!”

Please leave it at that. Please leave it atthat.

She doesn’t.

“My dinner should be free at this point, canI speak to the manager?” The lady is looking at him now, finally, sincebefore she’d only been scowling at the drinks menu as if she was above lookinghim in the face. Her eyes roamed over him, once, and then once more, slower thesecond time, until her nose crinkled up in dissatisfaction. It seemed she’dfinally noticed.

Yata didn’t really have to guess what she wasgoing to say, he’d often been given snooty looks from customers, it just camewith his job. Sometimes, no matter how nice or genuine he was about his hardwork, people couldn’t see past the rolled up sleeves and stains on his apron.But, it never failed to make him sick either way.

“Oh. Yes, I absolutely will need tospeak to a manager. What a waste of breath, I doubt a busboy could help me inany–”

“It’s odd that someone who’s already eatenmore than half their meal would have any complaints,” a smooth, low voicecut through the air between Yata and the customer, and only then did Yatarealize someone was standing next to him. For whatever reason, he felt hisentire body shiver, like it had registered something before he had.“You’re disturbing the other people here with your nonsense, myselfincluded.”

The woman sputtered, overcome with theembarrassment of other people’s eyes on her, but Yata didn’t care at all abouther regrets about making such a fuss, because as soon as he turned to his side,he was practically blindsided.

He was looking at the other man’s waist first,because he was holding something out for Yata to take, and the redhead graspedfor it dumbly. Menus…

“A server forgot to collect these from mytable, so here,” he said, and fuck that voice was so smooth. Yatanodded, basically too busy to process the fact that the menus were supposed tostay at the table anyways,and finally looked up into the face he’d been dreaming about for months.

The rest of the conversations around him might aswell have been nonexistent, his body on autopilot as he began to move away whenKusanagi came to take over the disturbance. Yatawas too blown away, couldn’t even make himself turn back to the customer as shemuttered out an embarrassed apology, because fuck, he would know those eyes in frontof him anywhere.

Blue, sharp, like the calm in the wake of a stormat sea, threatening to drown him with one step into its depths.

He’d never seen them before, but he knew.

There was no mistaking the intensity of the gaze,the way his face was framed by the messily styled hair, the slightly concealedbags underneath his glasses…

Yata knew exactly who it was, would’ve known himin the largest of crowds or most muddled of spaces.

He had been right, Saruhiko was handsome, but moreso than Yata had expected, or knew how to handle. His back hit the far wall bythe entrance to the kitchen, distanced a bit from the dining area, struck withthe exciting observation that Saruhiko had fucking walked him backwards over to somewhere moreprivate, maybe without noticing too, judging from how those calculating eyes weretaking Yata in as well, soaking in every detail, and the redhead could onlyhope Saruhiko was as pleased as he himself was.

God I probably look and smell like shit…butSaruhiko is…

“Wow…” It slipped out before Yata couldstop himself, and he straightened quickly when Saruhiko’s eyes snapped up tomeet his, and Yata could see the other swallow and fuck I can’t do this.

But then the moment in time resumed, and all thesounds of the dining room and laughter flooded back to Yata’s ears with oneclick of Saruhiko’s tongue. The taller glared at the ground, avoiding Yata’sgaze as he shoved his hands into his pockets.

“Wow yourself…” Saruhiko mutteredshyly, the faintest hint of a blush sweeping acrosshis cheeks, and Yata was pretty sure he was gonna marry this stupid jerk.“I hope that’s not all you can say.”

Ah yeah, this was definitely Saruhiko. 

“Shut up! You know it’s not!”

“Well obviously you can write,” Saruhiko replied,his lips upturning in a slight smirk which Yata couldn’t help but return.“But who knows?”

“What?” Yata’s eyes were challenging nowhe was sure, and he was grateful that they were pretty much hidden from view,only servers walking by would be able to see how close they were, how Yata wasstaring between Saruhiko’s lips and eyes because he couldn’t decide which oncewas better. “You think I’m an impostor?”

“No,” Saruhiko’s answer was quick,cutting almost, and the urge to kiss him intensified about twenty times more.

No, it would be too soon…right?

Maybe the whole thingwas going too fast, but Saruhiko was so easy to engage with, the words wouldn’tstop, and it didn’t help Yata’s urges. Calm down…

But then he remembered the months ofconversations, of exchanging fucking letters essentially, and all the dumbthings he knew about the other. Saruhiko’s daily routine, the classes he took,how he liked his coffee, his favorite movies and video games, and then suddenlyit didn’t seem too soon at all.

Fuck…no no…we haven’t even done properintroductions, he just showed up! I should shake his hand or…talk aboutsomething else…yeah uh–

“There’s no way it’s not you,” Saruhikocontinued, voice lowering as if he was trying to make it as inaudible aspossible. “You’re better than I pictured.”

The 'maybe I should kiss him’ in Yata’s headinstantly became 'I definitely will.’

Yata shakily raised his hands to Saruhiko’s shirtcollar, because thehell with handshakes, and he flushed furiously, trying not to seem like atotal loser as Saruhiko stepped even closer into the touch, lips parting.

Hell…

He seriously hoped no one would come by to watchhim tremble like a teenager with his first kiss, but that’s what it felt like,and it was exciting and he wanted it more than anything.

“U-uh…w-well I’m gonna–”

“Yeah,” Saruhiko cut him off, and theyboth leaned in, their lips crashing together in a kiss Yata had waited way too long for.

Saruhiko’s skin was cold from the outside air, buthis breath was hot against Yata’s face as they tentatively pulled back everynow and again, only to curiously push forward to press their mouths backtogether. Each peck seemed innocent, closed mouthed and experimental, yet therewas nothing slow about the kisses. They were hungry, quick, light smackingbeing created as a result, and Yata felt like he could fly if he tried.Saruhiko smelled like peppermint and coffee with just the slightest edge ofhair product thrown in, and Yata breathed in greedily as Saruhiko’s hand pulledhim closer.

It was only when Yata heard a triumphant 'yes!’ beingyelled from the kitchen, followed by an 'ow,’ did Yata break away inembarrassment.

His face was impossibly red, but he still managedto throw open the kitchen door to glare at Chitose, who was holding his sidefrom where Awashima had jabbed him. Right, Yata had forgotten about the smallwindow in the kitchen’s door. He hadn’t even thought Chitose would considerpeeping through it either. The older man had no sense of shame though, simplythrowing Yata a thumbs up before the door shut again.

Yata needed to pay more attention to hissurroundings. He groaned, hiding his face in his hands while Saruhiko took afew steps away.

He’d gotten carried away, but considering howgreat of a fucking kiss that had been, he couldn’t regret it too much.

“U-um…we should uh…maybe…” Yatastuttered uselessly, eyes meeting Saruhiko’s again and rendering speech moreimpossible than before.

Fuck it.

He thrust his hand out awkwardly, nearly jabbingSaruhiko in the stomach with the action, and watched as the taller stared atthe outstretched hand in confusion.

“Yata Misaki, nice to finally meet you.”

It was stupid, since they’d just fucking kissed, and had learned eachother’s names months ago, but it was the best Yatacould do.

The silence between them was starting to get tohim though, his hand beginning to shake as he awkwardly kept it in front ofhim, and he was torn between laughing it off as a joke or simply jumping offthe nearest cliff.

But then there was a smooth hand slipping intohis, grasping firmly in what was probably the most unnecessary handshake ever,and Yata sighed with obvious relief. Saruhiko’s hand was cold, and Yatatightened his grip, eager to change that.

“Really? Fine. Fushimi Saruhiko.”

Yeah, it sounds so much better in person.

Yata grinned brightly, and as Saruhiko returnedit, he knew nothing would ruin the moment. He doubted he’d ever forget iteither.

“I work for a few more hours, can youwait?” Yata hoped the offer to go home with Saruhiko still stood, his bodypractically vibrating in excitement.

Saruhiko smirked in full this time, and yeah, Yatawas gone.

“Table for one?”