#deep ponderings

[inpursuitofnunchi]

the subtitler understood the assignment

[ruporas]

happiness today and tomorrow (ID in alt)

[vaguely-concerned]

'why is the god orb making kira have vivid sex dreams about a space cardinal', and other important ds9 questions (affectionate)

[that-sunny-pup]

Cans I haves permissions to hugs solars ? May I hugs hims ? I feels very sillies and wants to hugs thems :3

"sure, bring it in!"

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

the last scene of season three of killing eve is definitely, like, the true ending of killing eve, isn't it?? you can feel that everything builds to that conversation that they have where they're really honest and open and understanding with each other, and villanelle being the one to initiate walking away out of love for eve shows her growth, and the absolutely stunning choice of MUSIC and the EMOTIONS on their BEAUTIFUL FACES and the TRYING TO WALK AWAY and the TURNING BACK and that magical little chime of hope that rings us out into the end credits. like, that's the absolute perfect moment to end that story on that absolutely sums up everything. the weight of what's happened and the promise of the future; the fact that they just can't stay away from each other presented as something beautiful and golden in that moment instead of something ruinous. i love their time together in the finale of season four because their chemistry is so good and it's so incredible to finally get to see them having fun together and loving each other, but everything felt so off all season, and the end is horrible and empty, and i think it's because they were trying to extend the story past its natural ending, which was that scene on the bridge at the end of season three. i almost wish i could magically eternal sunshine season four's existence out of my brain, except that i don't know if i'm strong enough to part with all the romancey moments from the season four finale. aughhhh!

but truly: killing eve has the perfect series finale, it's just that it happened a season too early.

[lunawolf444]

😇

[critter-casey]

“Multiplied by Infinity” (digital illustration, traditional ponderance) — CW

[vulcanette]

I really loved Nope. I can’t stop thinking about the scene when Emerald is talking about how she was supposed to train Jean Jacket and Pops never looked up at her at the window but OJ did. OJ acknowledged her and saw her. He named the Creature “Jean Jacket” as a way of saying, here’s the chance you wanted. The chance you never got. And she is the one who finally solved the puzzle and killed it/got it to leave. And she got her picture. I’m so proud of them, best siblings ever

[skelelephant]

Very bizarre to watch people be surprised or annoyed by the fact that Francis Crozier is an unpleasant person at the start of the story. Particularly book Crozier where we’re getting a third person view of his thoughts

[lavend3r-stardust]

Is it a queerplatonic relationship? Is it gender envy? Is it a deep intimate friendship? Is it borderline romantic? Friends to Lovers? Lovers to Friends? Are we platonic soulmates? Are we . . . Semi-crushes? Language is arbitrary and I don't even know anymore. But I do know that I was made to cherish people intensely and openly so in the end, it doesnt matter what we call ourselves because I will always love you one way or another

[eletainart]

Still on my art nouveau roll - Secondo version of a beautiful piece by Henri Privat-Livemont (when I saw the original, this immediatelly popped up in my head)

[fabaceous]

Is there ever a hypothetical world where Jackie and Shauna’s situation is reversed (as in Shauna dies and Jackie makes it home)? And if so, how do you think Jackie would react and deal with it?

this is ANOTHER of my favorite cans of worms to open lately so THANK YOU for giving me an opportunity to talk about it!!

i was thinking about this mostly because i was thinking about how shauna's hallucinations of jackie provide us with such valuable information about shauna's thoughts/feelings/desires, how she thinks of jackie, how she thinks of herself (via jackie). hallucighost jackie i think sort of has two sides that are intertwined but serve different purposes - there's one side that's more straightforward and even sweet: it shows how shauna, in her grief and pain, wants to remember jackie (the fun, lighthearted moments; braiding her hair, joking about randy). the other side is more dark but gives us just as much if not more insight into shauna: she uses jackie as a mouthpiece for her own bad thoughts about herself. hallucighost jackie is the whip that shauna self-flagellates with. and she punishes herself, but she's also sort of repressing the fact that she even feels guilty (which maybe is why she needs jackie's "ghost" to guilt her, because she can't admit to herself that she feels guilty). and it all must hurt even more coming out of jackie's mouth - which, if you think about it, is probably why she does it (better fuel for her guilt complex).

ANYWAY, i digress (sort of). my point is, i've always wondered what we could learn from jackie hallucinating shauna. how would jackie want to remember shauna, but at the same time, how might the memory of shauna torture jackie?

if we do a simple swap and have shauna leave the cabin when jackie tells her to during their fight and then shauna freezes, that's one option. we get jackie feeling both immensely hurt by shauna's nearly inconceivable betrayal but, at the same time, feeling guilty for sending her out there. this could lead to some interesting hallucinated convos and, personally, i 100% think it could also lead to jackie doing shauna's makeup in the meat shed lmao. (and thats how you know they're made for each other!)

BUT ALSO. shauna's betrayal (i mean, combined with jackie losing her social status in the wilderness and having the other girls turn on her ofc) made jackie so depressed that she was unable to eat, and shauna dying on top of that would have the potential to completely destroy jackie's will to survive. it would be a big ask, at that point, to get jackie through to rescue. id say its pretty likely she dies of a broken heart, so to speak. like, just loses all her remaining will to live (because her will to live was literally hanging on by a thread and that thread was shauna). the only way i can imagine her surviving long enough to go home is if she has a complete and total break from reality and like, just sort of dissociates from the entire year-plus that follows. i think (? let me know if you agree bc this actually just came to me while writing this and im not sure if it holds up) that if the writers really sold it right, they could convince me that jackie basically goes catatonic and retreats into some fantasy world (one where shauna is around, of course!) for the rest of their time in the wilderness. not exactly the way shauna talked to jackie in the meat shed, because shauna knew she was hallucinating and was more or less able to walk away when she had other obligations. i think jackie would actually legitimately just lose her grip on reality, and succumbing to this would be the only way for her to survive. kind of like the bacchanal but about, like, everything.

the other scenario that occurred to me (and it's a pretty awful way for shauna to die and makes me really unhappy btw, so, sorry in advance) is what if shauna's abortion attempt had gone really, really wrong and she had gotten an infection and died from that? obviously jackie has no clue at this point about jeff/pregnancy/rutgers/etc so its pure unadulterated heartbreak. taissa could play a really interesting role in this situation as the only other person who knows this huge, earthshattering secret. would she keep it from jackie? i think that would be the prudent thing to do. losing shauna would already be almost too much for jackie to take, but she could maybe survive that by designating herself as the keeper of shauna's memory and she could probably convince herself she owes it to shauna to stay alive because if jackie dies then shauna is gone for good. but, as we've seen in canon, finding out that shauna betrayed her sends jackie into a really dark place where she doesnt have much will to live. i think she could plausibly survive with her sanity intact if one or the other happens (shauna betrays her OR shauna dies) but, as i discussed above, experiencing both would either break her sanity or effectively kill her.

and i suspect taissa is smart enough to realize this too, so if she wants to keep jackie alive she'll withhold this information (hide/burn the journals?) and let jackie cling to whatever romanticized image of shauna she comes up with. once they get back to the real world, who knows? taissa might tell her because she feels like jackie deserves the truth, jackie might read shauna's journals from before the crash in an attempt to feel close to her again and find out that way, or even jeff might tell her (worst case scenario IMO)... and im honestly not sure what jackie would do at that point, like, murder jeff maybe? (im joking but i actually am not sure how that whole situation would play out. maybe depression 2.0 but in the real world, but that's not as fun as murder.)

i haven't even said what i think jackie would hallucinate, so lets end with that. for shauna, it's primarily about self-flagellation and self-punishment, although it has some ability to soothe her as well, like when she imagines having fun with jackie.

for jackie i think its actually fairly simple: its obvious to all of us that what jackie wants most is shauna's authentic and full love, and my personal theory is that the main (and maybe even sole!) function of jackie's hallucinations would be escapism and wish-fulfillment, and imagining that shauna really did love her.

jackie doesn't have a self-destruction/guilt complex like shauna does. jackie, i think, would be able to just feel guilt in a more straightforward way. as well as anger! so in the scenario where shauna freezes after their fight, jackie would certainly be feeling a lot of guilt, but she doesn't need or want shauna to remind her, she could just apologize. and she's feeling a lot of anger, but she'd be able to say it to shauna's (hallucinated) face instead of putting it through some twisted alchemical process that turns it into something else. like, i think she actually does have a chance of getting closure in a way that shauna doesn't because shauna would never let herself get closure because then she'd have nothing left to fuel her guilt/self-destruction complex.

i think jackie would want closure for her immediate anger and guilt about shauna's death, and because she wants it, she'd be capable of getting it. but after that's dealt with (assuming she survives long enough to deal with it), or in a scenario where jackie doesn't know about shauna's betrayal/isn't responsible for her death, i really think (and i just made myself sooo miserable realizing this btw so you're welcome. or i'm sorry) that the thing that would cause jackie eternal and relentless pain for the rest of her life would be the immense regret and the feeling that she didn't love shauna enough, or didn't love her right. and her hallucinations of shauna would, by and large, simply be an outpouring of all the love she didn't get to show her in life (and imagining the reciprocation of that love that she always wished shauna would give her).

[theangrypomeranian]

SIGH OKAY FINE I HAVE A TYPE WHEN IT COMES TO MALE CHARACTERS so sue me

[tiedsh0es]

ONCE AGAIN JEALOUS OF PPL WHO LIKE THINGS A NORMAL AMOUNT 😡

[dragonsaltartales]

Some brainrot I had yesterday and had to get out of my system-

(I’ll have more sketches again soon. I’m working on a big refined sketch page of Chandlo, so that has been taking up most of my time outside the art trades~ 💚)

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

note: this is not a comprehensive list, just what i could think of today. good enough for now, i say! ✨