#defective good part 13

[charliedawn]

DEFECTIVE GOOD PART 13:

A few weeks later, JR-6025 had succeeded in integrating the Rebellion and earning the trust of Poe Dameron. He seemed to have grown fond of her—enough to talk freely to her about some of the Resistance’s recent missions. He seemed to trust her and multiple time, JR-6025 hesitated telling him the truth or stopping all contact with the First Order, but then general Hux’s face would return to her. And she realised she couldn’t betray him and even though she wished to get away, she knew that betrayal Hux would result in his death. It would be another failure he wouldn’t be able to stand…

Hence, JR-6025 kept spying for him and relaying information. She would of course be sure to not reveal too much as to give the Resistance a fighting chance…but she was trapped.

As she was resting in her tent, Poe entered her tent with a smile on his face.

"Hey, buttercup. Missed me ?"

He had gone on a mission on the planet Vaghar and even though she knew better than to get attached, she had to admit having missed the pilot. She smiled at him.

"You bet…What happened ? I thought you were supposed to only be gone for a couple of days ?"

He chuckled awkwardly.

"Yeah. About that…we fell on some stormtroopers and getting off the planet turned out to be more tricky than I thought it would be…but I brought you back a gift !" He grinned at her and JR-6025 tilted her head quizzically at him before he pulled out an object from his pocket.

"Finn told me stormtroopers rarely knew how they looked like and I thought that…you would like to know." He smiled softly before giving the object—which turned out to be a small mirror—to her.

"Here. Now, you’ll be able to see what I see."

JR-6025 blinked twice in astonishment before looking down at the mirror—her heart hammering it her chest. It was…a gift—her first gift. Poe chuckled:

"Hey. What’s with the long face ? Did I pick the wrong gift or something…?"

JR-6025 stayed silent for a while before her eyes started filling with tears and Poe’s face immediately dropped.

"Hey hey. No. Sorry. I…I’ll take it back. I am sorry. I didn’t mean to…"

JR-6025 suddenly hugged Poe tightly.

"…Thank you."

Poe remained shocked for a moment before he chuckled and returned her hug.

"You’re welcome, beautiful."

JR-6025 smiled and tightened her hold on him. General Hux had seen her face. Kylo Ren had seen her face. Everyone had seen it but her. And Poe was the very first one who had thought about it…about giving her a chance to discover it for herself. The first one to think about her…It made her smile.

Poe held her for a few seconds more before slowly pulling away to look her in the eyes and gently wipe her tears with his thumbs.

"No more tears, okay ? You look so much better with a smile, JR." He smiled tenderly at her and JR-6025 smiled at him. He made her feel at home and she opened her mouth to say something—but no sound came out. Poe’s eyes creased as he cupped her face and smiled softly.

"Do you want me to stay when you’ll look or…?"

JR-6025 hesitated before smiling and nodding.

"Stay. Please."

Poe smiled and nodded before JR-6025 took a deep breath and slowly lifted the mirror to take a look at her face. She observed her features and somehow, she couldn’t recognise herself. She had lived so long with the helmet on her face that the reflection seemed strange to her…Was that really her face ? The face that she had been so afraid to see ? It was the face…of a woman. She thought she would only find a monster hidden underneath but…

She smiled and her eyes filled with tears again—but tears of joy this time. Poe smiled and asked:

"Feels good, huh ?"

JR-6025 nodded slowly and didn’t have the words…She felt free. And even thought her reflection was a stranger to her, she knew that she would learn to get used to it.

She looked at Poe with a big smile.

"Thank you again, Poe…"

Poe’s eyes widened in shock.

He realised it was the first time JR had called him by his first and his smiled matched hers as he playfully ruffled her hair.

"It didn’t seem fair to me that you wouldn’t see it. Finn had the exact same reaction the first time he saw his reflection. He seemed so curious and happy about it. I hoped you would have the same reaction and…I wasn’t disappointed."

JR-6025 smiled softly at his words before kissing Poe’s cheek.

"…You are a kind person, Poe."

Poe was slightly stunned at the gesture before he smiled and hugged her again.

"You too, JR. Never stop believing that."

JR-6025 felt relieved and grateful as she returned his hug and for the first time in forever, she felt safe. Poe squeezed her one more time before pulling away.

"Well…I am exhausted. It’s been a long flight. I think am gonna hit the sack."

JR-6025 smiled and nodded.

"Alright. Goodnight, Poe."

He smiled and nodded before leaving her tent. Her eyes followed him and she smiled until she heard a bipping sound and looked down to see her bracelet lighting up. She sighed. She knew what it meant and that Hux wanted to talk to her.

She took a deep breath before accepting the call.

"WHERE WERE YOU ?"

She winced as she recognised General Hux’s loud voice and she forced herself to remain upright as she replied.

"I was earning the Resistance’s trust, sir. But, it takes time and…"

"I DO NOT CARE FOR EXCUSES !" General Hux interrupted her. "YOU HAVEN’T BEEN ANSWERING FOR DAYS ! IT HAS BEEN DAYS AND NOTHING ! I THOUGHT YOU WERE…" General Hux stopped himself before sighing and lowering his voice. "Have you learned anything useful yet ?"

JR-6025 hesitated before shaking her head negatively.

"No, sir. Not yet. The Resistance is not trusting with outsiders. And it has only been a few weeks. I need more time."

General Hux sighed and clicked his tongue in disapproval.

"Time is running out, JR-6025. Give me useful information soon, or I will have no choice but to take you off the mission."

JR-6025’s eyes widened at the threat and she gritted her teeth and forced herself to remain calm before nodding.

"Yes, sir."

General Hux ended communication and she took a deep breath before closing her eyes. She then quickly left her tent. She needed some fresh air…

Once she was far enough, she sat down and looked up at the stars—silently wishing for guidance. She the felt someone sit beside her and was surprised to find General Organa there.

"General Organa ?" she asked, surprised at her presence.

"Please. Call me Leia." The older woman smiled at her. "And tell me…What is your name, soldier ?"

"I uh..." She paused for a moment, thinking about the answer. She had never told her name to anyone who wasn't a First Order soldier before...it felt weird to actually answer that question.

"JR-6025." she replied, hesitating at first before answering with confidence.

Leia chuckled.

"No no, dear. That is not a name. That is a number."

JR-6025 looked away.

"That is...the only thing I've ever been referred to as. That...and 'stormtrooper'," she replied, her tone becoming more bitter as she mentioned the other term.

Leia nodded understandingly. "…Tell me. How would YOU like to be called ?"

JR-6025 was surprised at the question before she looked back at Leia.

"...I don't know." she replied simply, and she felt the faintest bit of embarrassment for not knowing an answer to that.

"I've only been known as 'JR-6025' and 'stormtrooper' for so long, I honestly don't know." She looked away, suddenly feeling...ashamed. Leia offered her a compassionate smile before squeezing her wrist. "You will find it. I am certain of it…"

"I..." She looked into Leia's eyes, feeling embarrassed again.

"I suppose so..." she replied, glancing away again, as she tried to regain her composure. The old woman smiled before looking back up at the stars.

"Tell me, soldier. What made you decide to finally join us ?"

JR-6025 took a deep breath before she started thinking about a suitable answer to give her. She felt a sudden desire to actually share her own reasons for turning to the Resistance, when all she had ever done was lie about her motive to her superiors in the First Order. That feeling was one she welcomed, since she hadn't been honest with anyone in so long.

"Well..." she said, hesitating at first, as she picked her words. "I just...wanted to be free."

"Free ?" Leia smiled sadly. "I am afraid we all wish for it. This war…has been depriving us all of what it means to be truly free."

She nodded, looking down slowly.

"It really has..." she agreed, her voice becoming a bit somber. General Leia's words made JR-6025 feel some sort of comfort—she had never had a genuine conversation like this with anyone on the "good" side of the war.

"For so long, I've had to lie...I've had to pretend to be someone I'm not. I've had to do things in the name of the First Order...all in the name of war...of destroying the enemy..."

Leia smiled sadly.

"I understand, dear. We all had to say things…do things…that we didn’t want to do. We had to make…sacrifices."

She nodded again.

"I know..."

She sighed.

"And now that I'm...that I'm here, on the 'good' side of the war, I...I don't know how to cope with everything."

She paused for a moment, trying to pick the right words.

"To tell you the truth...To tell you the truth, everything feels so...weird. I feel...uncertain. Unsure of everything..."

Leia nodded and chuckled.

"It is understandable. The First Order shapes minds. It makes you think you do not have a choice. But…You do. You do have a choice." Leia squeezed her hand again. "And you made the right one."

...The right one...

JR-6025 could do nothing but smile slightly, as she felt the words sink in.

"That's true," she replied softly, her tone becoming brighter. "I just...I still feel nervous. I'm not used to this side of the war. I'm not used to the idea of being...of being a rebel."

Leia laughed.

"Aren’t we all…I never expected to become the general of the Rebellion. Yet. Here I am…" Leia’s laugh died down as she then added bitterly. "…This war cost me my home, my husband and my…son. But, I still believe that there might be a happy ending to our story."

JR-6025 looked at her, her heart skipping a beat when she realized how much General Leia had lost. And yet, she still pushed on and kept fighting.

"I'm...I'm sorry to hear that, General..."

She paused, thinking of the right words to say.

"But...you're right. There might be a happy ending for us. I...Hope there is, at the very least..."

General Organa smiled and nodded.

"Sometimes, I see my son in my dreams. He is happy. He is smiling and looking at me with hope in his eyes…His name used to be Ben Solo. And I still keep the hope of seeing him again one day."

"Ben..." JR-6025 paused, realizing that this was likely the first time she had heard the name of Kylo Ren before he became a sith.

"...Do you still have hope that he can be redeemed ? Even after everything that's happened ?" JR-6025 asked and General Organa smiled sorrowfully.

"A mother’s love is unconditional."

JR-6025's heart grew a bit sad as she heard those words. She had never had a mother who loved her unconditionally...she didn't even know what that was like. She was suddenly very aware of her own loneliness—of how everyone who had raised her had done it without love or compassion, under orders and under rules.

"I wish someone could believe in me the same way you believe in him," she said softly, almost as if speaking to herself. Leia looked at her and smiled.

"You already do. Poe believes in you. And the Force knows that boy is a menace. But, he is not one to trust easily, and he trusts you. And so do I."

JR-6025 was surprised by Leia’s words before she asked.

"Why ? Why are you so sure that I am trustworthy ?" She asked and Leia smiled knowingly.

"…Because I know the love you carry in your heart, child. For my son. And for all those you wish to redeem."

JR-6025 was taken aback by her answer.

"H-How do you know about that ?" It was as if Leia just understood her motives and the way she felt, even though they had just met. It was a bit unsettling, and yet her words were oddly comforting...

Leia laughed.

"Luke is not the only one who was gifted with the Force. And the Force is strong in you, child. Besides, the instincts of a mother are never wrong. And I can see goodness in you. I can feel it."

JR-6025 sighed and looked back up at the night sky.

"...That's not what the First Order said." She didn't mean for the words to come out as bitter as they did, but she felt the anger still lingering within her, from the years she had spent with the First Order.

"They said that I was nothing but a stormtrooper. A soldier, meant to serve." She paused. "...I...have never had anyone show me any kind of...kindness...in my entire life..."

Leia smiled.

"That is because the First Order is incapable of seeing a good soul. It only recognises rage and hatred as worthy emotions. They couldn’t see how valuable a loving heart can be. And you…" Leia smiled and gently patted JR’s shoulder. "…You possess a loving heart—capable of understanding the need for peace and love."

She smiled, feeling her heart melt at the words she was hearing. The First Order had made her think that her kindness and love were...weakness. They had told her that she needed to let go of every attachment she had, or else suffer the price. But...Leia's words and her kindness was making her feel as though those attachments weren't so bad, after all.

"…Is it bad if I still care about the fate of those who fight for the First Order ?" JR asked and Leia shook her head.

"No. It shows that you have a heart, that you can see who they were meant to be, instead of who they have become. It shows you are human and empathetic."

JR-6025 sighed and ran her fingers through her hair.

"…General Hux. Kylo Ren. The other stormtroopers…I sometimes dream about what we would have been if not for the First Order…"

Leia smiled sadly.

"I do as well, occasionally. I often wonder about who Ben would have been, had he not fallen to the Dark Side...had I been a better mother...had..." She paused, her smile slightly fading away as the sadness returned to her eyes. "Had the war not happened at all..."

They stayed next to each other in—pondering.

"It is all a matter of choice, isn’t it ?" JR asked.

Leia sighed sorrowfully and nodded.

"Yes. I believe my son chose the wrong path. But I still hold on to the hope he will one day find his way back. He was...he was truly good, as a boy...and then as a young man. I know he is there...somewhere, inside of him..." she paused, closing her eyes for a moment.

"He has to be..."

JR remained silent. Leia took a deep breath and went silent after, as the two stood next to each other, their gazes on the star-filled sky above. They stood there for quite some time, before General Leia finally broke the silence.

"...Thank you, JR. For listening to my ramblings..."

JR-6025 smiled.

"It was my pleasure, Leia."

Leia smiled sadly, but JR could tell there was some kind of warmth to the smile she gave her. She took a deep breath, as the two of them kept a silent moment of companionship.

After a while, JR could feel Leia squeezing her wrist slightly...Leia was lost in thought and JR hesitated before asking:

"…Could you…Could you tell me about Kylo R—I mean…Ben Solo ?"

"....Ben Solo..." Leia's voice had become wistful and sorrowful as she said his name, her grip on JR's wrist tightening slightly...

"Of course. What do you want to know ?"

"…The boy he was. The man he could have been." She replied.

"...The boy he was ?" Leia smiled gently in nostalgia. "Ben...as a child was sweet. Kind. He was loving and compassionate...he enjoyed books...he was interested in the history and legends of the galaxy, and was always curious. He was always kind to everyone around him..." she smiled as she recalled some of her happier memories of her son. "...When he was a boy, he was nothing but...a bright, vibrant, and curious young man...With all the kindness and innocence of a child.." her smile faded away, her thoughts then turning to...The man he could have been...Oh...He could have been anything he wanted to be...He could have been a scholar, in the Jedi Order...He could have been a leader, of his own family legacy...So much potential..."

"…I bet he could have been great. He could still be…" JR said—trying to lift Leia’s spirits—and Leia chuckled sadly, shaking her head.

"You're kind to believe so...I haven't had that same faith in him since...since the day he turned to the Dark Side...But...perhaps...you're right..." She squeezed JR's wrist again "...Perhaps, somehow, he can still redeem himself. Perhaps...there's still a chance."

After a few minutes, Leia stood up and walked away after telling JR goodnight. JR smiled but then, felt a presence behind her. She didn’t turn around or turn her head away from the stars when she felt the presence sit down next to her. She glanced next to her and felt Kylo Ren’s presence—but she knew he wasn’t physically there. It was an apparition. He remained silent next to her until he spoke in her mind.

"You shouldn’t have lied to her…"

JR felt a chill run down her spine as she sensed the presence of Kylo Ren's spirit next to her, even if he wasn't actually there. At the same time, she didn't feel like he was a threat to her. He felt familiar to her, she knew who he truly was.

She gave a small chuckle at his words.

"Is it wrong for me to help General Organa holding onto some hope ?" she asked, sounding slightly teasing at that point. Kylo Ren remained silent for a moment before replying.

"My mother believes Ben Solo is still alive. Do not encourage her."

She stayed silent for a moment, thinking over what he had just said. She was tempted to lie, to humor him. It would save her a confrontation with him...

Instead, she finally spoke.

"She's his mother..." she replied. "She's allowed to believe that her son can be redeemed. She is allowed to hold onto that hope..."

"…She will get hurt holding onto false hope." He countered and sighed. "She’s an old woman, holding onto the ghost of a past long gone."

JR frowned, but she kept her voice calm as he spoke.

"She isn't holding onto the ghost of a past long gone. She is holding onto...The legacy of who her son could have been, who he was supposed to be." She sighed sadly. "Can you really blame her for that ?"

"…I do not blame her. I am simply trying to avoid her heart be broken again when she comes to the realisation that her son is dead. He died a long time ago." Kylo Ren looked at her. "I…killed him."

JR shivered at the way he said that.

"...I...I think...she knows that." she finally said quietly. "She just chooses not to believe it. She doesn't want to see it, not really. She doesn't want to lose hope, even in the face of everything...Because she believes you still can be better...Because she still sees potential in you..."

Kylo Ren looked at her.

"But you and I both know the truth…"

She stayed silent for a moment, looking down at the ground.

"I know..." she finally said. "But...I still choose to help support Leia in her wish to hold on to hope."

"…Leia." Kylo Ren chuckled knowingly and tilted his head towards her. "You got attached to her, didn’t you ?"

JR nodded, smiling wistfully.

"...She's kind and compassionate, and she helped me feel something I haven't felt in years...Comfort. Care..." she replied, her voice sounding slightly sad and warm at the same time. Her eyes shifted to Kylo Ren.

"...You do realize how much you hurt her...right ? When you betrayed her..." She frowned.

"…I know." He looked down and smiled bitterly. "But, do not be fooled. I was betrayed first."

"...By Leia ?" she asked, sensing a bit of...sorrow within his words. He didn’t answer—he simply looked back up at the stars. She looked back up as well for a moment, before her eyes then shifted back to him.

"Do you regret what you did ?" she asked softly, almost in a whisper.

"What I did ?" He remained silent for a moment before answering her. "No. No, I do not."

Her eyes widened slightly. He hadn't denied it.

"So...you do not regret turning to the Dark Side...?" she asked curiously. She expected a different answer to be honest.

"…No. The Dark Side opened my eyes. It killed the weakness in me." He replied without hesitation and she went silent for a moment, thinking over his words.

"And what you are now ?" she asked him, "Would you say you're happier this way ?"

"…Happier ?" He let out a humourless laugh. "Perhaps not. But, I am stronger. More powerful than Ben Solo would have ever been."

She frowned slightly. He wasn't wrong...

"And you feel as though your strength and power is all that matters...? At the sake of everything you threw away..." she paused, her voice growing slightly more bitter. "Do you really see that as a victory ?"

"…Do you really think Leia would accept you if she knew you were spying for the First Order ? For General Hux ? Do you really think the Resistance would forgive you ? Or your so-called friends ?" Kylo Ren shot back and looked at her. She stayed silent for a moment, feeling her chest tighten slightly...

"Maybe not..." she replied quietly. "...But I would have liked to have the chance to come clean..."

She looked away, feeling as though he had a point...

"…You mean you would have liked to have the chance to have a family ? Is that what you think, soldier ? Are you jealous of the life I left behind ?" He asked—amused.

"...Maybe..." she said, with a slight smile, before the smile vanished. "...I know that sounds selfish of me. I know it...But yes, I am jealous..."

"…Does it make you angry ? Resentful ? Hateful ?" He insisted with a slight smirk forming on his lips. She frowned, staying silent for a moment, before nodding her head.

"...Yes, it does. You left behind everything I wanted. The love, the compassion. You had a good childhood, a decent home—yet you threw it away, just to become...This. You don’t even know how good you had it."

Kylo Ren had a rather unexpected reaction. He started laughing—his laugh filling her head before he replied.

"How good I had it ? You have no idea…not the slightest clue…about what you are talking about. You and Rey. You both see what you want to see…"

JR immediately regretted her words and hesitated before looking at him and laid her hand on his.

"Then, explain. I am willing to listen."

Kylo Ren's eyes widened at her hand being placed on his.

"What are you doing...?" he mumbled, staring at her, but not resisting her touch. However, he seemed...solemn somehow, and despite the hatred in his gaze, there was a strange sense of...sorrow ? The anger was still present but...There was something else there as well.

He slowly looked away, not taking his hand back from hers.

"Trying to understand. If you’d let me…" She uttered in a whisper and tilted her head to look at him.

"...Fine..." he eventually sighed, staring up at the stars as he kept his hand in hers. He was silent for several moments, before finally speaking.

"When I was young, there was love in my home...But there was also so much of my mother and father's expectations of a life I was supposed to live. They pressured me..." He stayed silent for a few moments, staring right up at the sky. "That pressure...It broke something inside me..."

"You felt neglected ? Unheard ?" She asked—trying to understand—and her own heart felt for him.

"...They constantly pushed and pushed...They made me feel as though if I didn't become what they wanted me to be, I was a failure..." He sighed heavily. "I know...I know it's not as terrible as what other people have to endure...The neglect was subtle, but it had a weight to it...I could never tell them how I truly felt..."

"…You needed someone to listen." JR smiled weakly.

"Yes, but...who could have listened to a young man with a temper like mine...? Who could have understood what I felt, when I couldn't even really understand it myself...?" He stayed silent for a moment, before he finally spoke again and JR could feel the pain behind his words. "And so...I buried my feelings. My anger, my pain, my fears. I suppressed them all...I repressed so I wouldn't have to face them..."

"…Until it was just too much." She concluded. "…And Kylo Ren was born."

He stayed silent for a second before finally nodding his head.

"Kylo Ren was born...And my path was sealed. One of anger, resentment, and fury. I became the heir of Darth Vader. I had to be stronger than everyone, I couldn't afford any weakness." He stayed silent for a moment, staring right up at the sky as he continued with bitterness in his voice. "Then, I met Snoke..."

"Snoke who listened. Snoke who allowed you to feel. Snoke who…knew how to take advantage of a young man angry at the world." She sighed and started to understand.

"Yes..." he confessed. "Snoke was...The one who gave me an outlet. The one who guided me in how to truly unleash my potential."

He stayed silent for a long time, before quietly continuing.

"I thought...If I had someone who understood me...It wouldn't hurt like it used to..."

He paused and his lips tightened into a thin line.

"...Until I realized that...No matter what...I would always be used. He used me also...Like everybody else..." He lowered his head and JR could feel the anger radiating from him. JR hummed understandingly and squeezed his hand.

"I do not pretend to know anything about the Force…But, from what I understand, it has always been about choices. And I think that it is impossible for someone to be truly good or evil. It is all about balance." She looked at him and smiled. "Why choose either side ? When you can be your own person ? When you can simply choose yourself ?"

She looked away.

"You said I was jealous of you ? Perhaps. But not because you were born in the good side. I do not believe in the good side. Or the bad side. The First Order takes your choices. You do not have a choice. And that is where I feel most jealous of you. Because…I think you had the choice, when I didn’t."

Kylo remained silent for a while.

"...In the beginning, I...I really thought I could find the balance I craved in the Dark Side." he breathed out. "But...The Dark Side was never about balance...Nor about choices...It was about strength, of power...It was about suppression, and oppression..."

His grip on JR's hand only grew stronger, as he continued.

"I did not know that until it was too late..."

She sighed and closed her eyes.

"…I guess we are just two prisoners then." She huffed a laugh. "…Forced to pretend being people we aren’t."

"...We are..." he paused, letting go of her hand. "...We are..."

He turned towards her so his gaze was directed at her again.

"...But...Maybe we don't have to be..."

She tilted her head curiously at him.

"What do you mean ?"

He hesitated before whispering.

"...We do not have to stay as these prisoners..." He took a deep breath, before continuing. "...I've been a prisoner to my own rage, and my own fears...You've been a prisoner to duty and to your obligations...But we don't have to stay as such...We can break free..."

She nodded, but still had some reluctance about this plan of his.

"We could. But, where would we go ?"

He stayed silent for a while as he thought.

"...Anywhere we want," he finally said and smiled "There are so many worlds...So many people...So many possibilities."

He paused, glancing up at the stars.

"...We could be anyone we want..."

She smiled.

"That would be…a possibility. But then, we would just…leave the world to self-destruct ?"

"...What have we achieved, by staying ?" he replied and his eyes met hers. He shrugged slightly, before continuing. "The First Order, the Resistance...So many lives lost...All for nothing."

He laughed bitterly.

"We could leave it all to tear itself apart..."

She frowned a little before asking:

"…What about Rey ? Finn ? Poe ? General Hux ? General Organa ? Are we just meant to pretend their lives do not matter ?"

"...They do matter..." he breathed out quietly. "But what we've been doing so far hasn't made a single difference..."

He paused for a few moments, before finally concluding.

"We may not be the hero...But we do not have to be the villain either..."

JR-6025 smiled wistfully and thought about it. She hadn’t been born to be a hero, she knew that…And yet.

"…And what if I want to be a hero ?" She asked and he chuckled, not really expecting that kind of response from her.

"A hero ? You ?" he said playfully—not believing the stormtrooper would actually want to be a hero.

"And why not ?" She challenged him. "I bet I would make a great hero. The type that makes everything right."

"Oh, you do ?" he said with a teasing voice. "You mean to tell me that you would risk your own life...For complete strangers ?"

She chuckled.

"What ? I already pledged my life to the First Order. Why not pledge it to make…something good ? Do something good ?"

He smirked and mocked.

"And what is it you would do ?...Be a hero ? Kill all the bad people ? Make the galaxy perfect ?"

She frowned and shook her head negatively.

"Not kill all the bad people. Just…give them a choice—make them realise that it is never too late to make the right one." She smiled. "The First Order. General Hux. You…"

"Oh, so you think you can change everyone...Can 'turn' them good ?" he said, scoffing slightly, pretending to be dismissive of her words.

"Hey. I AM a pretty optimistic person." She grinned. "Besides, I know I am still technically currently a bad guy but…I guess I’d like to be a hero. One day."

He chuckled in disbelief, though his voice remained as teasing as before.

"And so, in your version of a galaxy, everyone ends up just being good, huh ?"

Instead of being upset of disappointed at his mocking tone, she decided to play along and grinned.

"Oh yeah. And there’s dancing. And music. And laughter…" She bit back a laugh. "It must sound…very stupid to you, huh ?"

He chuckled.

"It sounds very naive...Very foolish...To assume that people will be just be good like that just because you want them to..." He paused for a moment, and then smirked. "But it is a pleasant thought."

"…Did I mention I imagine General Hux as a candy store owner in that hypothetical scenario of mine ? He would make sure all the candies are in their rightful place. And he’d have this silly little hat. And of course he would be happy too…" She held back a laugh. He laughed along, finding her description to be quite amusing.

"And I assume General Organa would be running her own restaurant, right ?" he said playfully. JR gasped dramatically and whispered with a smile.

"How did you know ?"

"I just had a feeling..." he said playfully with a smirk. He paused for a moment, looking away as a smile spread across his lips, imagining the different scenarios she'd just described. "And so...What of my role in this 'hypothetical scenario?'"

JR started thinking about it before asking with a wide grin.

"What would YOU like to be ?"

His eyes widened at her question and he started thinking about it. In all his years, nobody had ever asked him that…

"...You mean to tell me that in this scenario, I would have a choice ?" he replied, surprised by her words.

"Of course you do !" She replied and Kylo Ren started thinking about it…

"And so, I could become whatever I want ? Do whatever I like ?" he asked, now genuinely starting to think about these things..

"Yup. The sky is the limit." She replied with a smile. "I know it may not be the reality of things, but if you could be…anyone…anything…What would you be ?"

He stayed silent for a while, actually taking the time to think about this. In the past, he’d never really thought about what he wanted...He had just always done what he’d been told, nothing more, nothing less. He thought of his mother, of Leia, of Snoke, of Rey...He thought about Kylo Ren and Ben Solo. And he then realized that he wanted to be none of them.

He wanted to be someone else entirely.

Someone new.

"...I am not sure what I’d be to be honest…" he confessed and sighed softly. "Or who I’d be…"

She smiled and nodded understandingly.

"That’s good too."

He glanced at her.

"...What about you ? What would you be—besides a hero ?" he asked with a teasing grin, staring back at her with curiosity.

"Oh. Hum…" She started thinking about it. "…I…I am not sure either actually. I just know that I’d like to be…happy."

He stayed silent for a moment...Before a small, amused smile slowly formed on his lips.

"Happy..." he said with a chuckle. "That’s all, huh ?"

She chuckled.

"What ? What did you expect ?"

"I don't know..." He replied somewhat softly. "...I just...I was expecting a grand ambition..."

JR sniggered and shook her head negatively.

"No. I would rather leave the great ambitions to you and General Hux."

He laughed at that, a genuine, soft laugh.

"I can hardly say I have great ambitions anymore..." he said softly. "...And I think I would like to be happy too..."

"…Yeah. That would be…a nice dream." She smiled—her eyes staring at the stars. He stayed quiet for a moment beside her, before finally nodding slightly.

"...Yes." he agreed softly. "It would be..."

She smiled sadly before looking at him.

"So…Where are you ? I mean…physically speaking ? Did you get your hands on the second part of the map to Skywalker ?"

He stayed silent for a few moments, before finally speaking.

"Yes, I have..." he murmured.

She nodded.

"…I see. So I guess Rey must be coming back to the Resistance camp now ?"

He stayed silent for a few moments, before finally answering.

"I suppose she will be...But...What exactly happens next will be up to her..."

JR sighed.

"…It’s scary. To think that the fate of the war resides in the choices of one young scavenger girl ?"

"...It is..." he agreed quietly, glancing away from her for a moment. "...She could choose to side with the Order...She could side with the Resistance...Or she could...She could choose something else..."

"…Yes. I guess she could." She looked at him. "…If she chooses you, what would happen ?"

He was taken aback by the question.

"If Rey sides with me ? Then..." he thought about this for a moment. "...Then maybe we could change this path...We could...Change the galaxy...Create something new..."

"…Create something new." She smiled. "I like the sound of that."

"...Yes..." he replied softly. "...There's so much that could be done...We could..."

He paused for a moment, before finally speaking again.

"...We could make this galaxy a better place."

"…Do you love her ?" JR’s question hit him like an X-fighter hitting him a full speed. For a long time, he stared at her, his brain searching for an answer. But the truth was...He didn’t really know what love was. Could he recognize romantic love when he felt it ? Did he even feel it ?

"I don’t know..." he finally replied with an exhausted sigh.

"…Well, whatever happens…I do hope that you’ll be happy at the end." JR smiled at him. "Whatever happens, we will see the end of this war."

"...We will..." he replied quietly, staring back at her gently. "...That is something I look forward to, at least..."

"…Yes. Me too." She then hesitated before asking. "May I ask a favour though ?"

He stayed silent for a few moments, thinking about it.

"...What is your favour ?" he asked, curious as to what the stormtrooper could possibly ask of him.

She looked nervous as she asked.

"…I know you and General Hux never saw eye to eye. But…I would like to ask you to…look over him. Please."

He stayed quiet for a moment, considering the question.

"...For what reason ?" he finally asked.

She sighed. She wouldn’t admit that she was planning on leaving…or that she was afraid that General Hux would die without protection.

"…He is more fragile than he lets on." She finally explained. "And I guess…I sometimes worry about him."

That got a chuckle from him.

"Fragile ?" he said, a smirk spreading across his face as he thought about the idea of Hux being 'fragile'. "...You...You want me to look out for him ?"

She nodded in agreement.

"Yes. He has…no one to protect him now."

He remained silent for a few moments, thinking it over.

"...I doubt Hux would appreciate me looking out for him," he finally said with a soft chuckle.

"I know." She smiled. "And that is the very reason why I am asking you. Because even though you cannot stand each other, you have more in common that you’d think."

"Do we, now ?" he asked, chuckling in amusement at the odd remark of the stormtrooper. "And what exactly do we have in common ?"

She hesitated before telling him.

"You were both children when you were forced to become weapons for Snoke. You both are brilliant minds, but who were forced to take the wrong choices. And I guess…You both used to be children…wishing for someone to listen."

His expression softened as he heard these words...His hands fidgeted slightly...

"...Are you asking me...To feel sympathy for him ?" he finally asked, his tone a bit softer now.

"No." She smiled reassuringly at him. "I am asking you to make sure you both survive."

He stayed silent for a few moments, considering her words.

"...I suppose you do have a point..." he finally said. "...And if we survive...?"

"Live."

"Live..." he repeated softly. "Just...Live...?"

"Yup. It’s that simple. Just…live."

He smiled at that, feeling an odd sense of relief wash over him.

"…Then I guess I will agree to help...But..." he paused for a moment before continuing. "...I have one condition for you."

"Which is ?" She looked at him and Kylo Ren suddenly seemed very serious.

"If the Resistance and the First Order find peace..." he started. "...And...We survive..."

He paused for a moment.

"...You help look out for Rey..."

JR was momentarily stunned, but she smiled.

"Deal. But, I do not think she needs much protecting."

He scoffed at that mildly.

"She doesn't need protecting ?" he chuckled. "That girl can be very reckless, from what I have seen..."

JR chuckled.

"She makes me think of someone…"

"Oh, really ?" he said, smirking again. "Someone like me, perhaps?"

JR bit back a laugh.

"Mr. I had to save from a snowstorm."

He chuckled as well, though there was an amused tone to his laugh.

"Oh, come on..." he said playfully. "Can't you let me just forget about that one time...?"

She laughed.

"Nope. I shall remind you till the day I die. Do you realise how I had to DRAG you all the way to the Finalizer ?"

"I do...Yes..." he muttered, lowering his head. He stayed silent for a couple of moments, and then chuckled softly. "Can we…Please…Can we just forget about it...?"

She smiled.

"Alright."

She then looked back at her tent.

"I guess I should go and get some rest before sunrise."

She looked at him.

"And…I guess you should too."

"You're right..." he mumbled. "...I will get some rest..."

He stayed silent for a couple of moments, then looked over at her, his tone a bit softer now.

"Thank you..."

She chuckled.

"For what ?"

"For...Listening to me..." he said softly, a gentle smile forming on his lips.

She smiled back.

"Good night, Lord Ren."

And with that, they both returned to their own realities. Ren returned to his body on the Finalizer and JR went back to her tent in the Resistance camp. And the both of them went to sleep...thinking about the world that could have been but would never be.

[thejujvtsupost]

Pick your poison

Key: NSFW ✿ Requests ʚïɞ <- 💗 -> Updated 9/13/24

Individual Series List • SMAU Masterlist

Gojo Satoru

•Gojo on Your Wedding Day ʚïɞ - F!reader, Gojo is a nervous wreck when it comes to you.

•When you’re so, so tired ʚïɞ - GN!reader, coming home to your partner taking care of you is the best part of your day…

•The Oh… Moment ʚïɞ - GN!reader, The moment he realized he loves you…

•Anniversary Post (hc) ʚïɞ - GN!reader, what he posts on instagram for your anniversary.

•The Return ʚïɞ - F!reader, Gojo comes out of the prison realm in rough shape.

•When He Feels Hard to Love (hc) ʚïɞ - GN!reader, Drabble, Gojo feels like he’s too much and gets insecure.

•Filming His First Sex Scene - F!reader, Actor!Gojo has to film his first ever sex scene and he’s nervous, good thing his girlfriend is there to encourage him.

Smitten Gojo Series (best read in order)

-> Gojo soulmate au - F!reader, You caught Gojo’s attention, and no matter how hard he tried to stay away he just couldn’t. It was for your own safety but he figures out a way he can keep you even safer. Or - Gojo falls in love and he’s very protective of what he holds dear.

Nanami Kento

•Nanami’s Praise - Being Good ✿ ʚïɞ - M!reader, you like being his good boy.

•Don’t Talk Back, Kitten ✿ ʚïɞ - F!reader, brat taming smut.

•Girl Dad Transformation ʚïɞ - F!reader, nanami adopts a young sorcerer.

•You’re Still You (Nanami’s Worries) ✿ ʚïɞ - F!reader, nanami has insecurities about his new appearance and injuries from the Shibuya incident.

•The Weekend is a Blessing ʚïɞ - GN!reader, Nanami’s weekend is dedicated to relaxing.

•Ten Fingers & Ten Toes - F!reader, coming home to his wife and baby is a privilege he didn’t think he’d ever have.

•Good Enough To Eat ✿ ʚïɞ - F!reader, Nanami is different than other husbands and humans, but he’s yours nonetheless. (It’s just porn)

Geto Suguru

•Suguru Wants A Baby ✿ - F!reader, porn, self explanatory

•Weak to Sunshine ✿ ʚïɞ - F!reader, Geto can be a real ass sometimes, but maybe he’s just in denial about his feelings.

•Heaven Looks Like a Bookshop… ʚïɞ -> pt. 2 ʚïɞ - F!reader, There’s a bookshop with a secluded corner he likes to visit, he thought he was the only one until signs of you started popping up…

•No Time Like the Present ʚïɞ - Suguru eavesdropping and getting the courage to ask you out.

•He Left You // From Afar ʚïɞ - F!reader, Suguru comes back for you after defecting.

Collar Crimes Series (best read in order)

Yakuza!Geto au - F!reader, Being such an important man is stressful but being an important man to you, his girl, is everything to him.

Toji Fushiguro

•Too Much Labor - F!reader, Toji hates seeing the way your boyfriend treats you, you deserve better.

•Sub Space ✿ ʚïɞ - F!reader, Toji fucking his gf into sub space. It’s just smut.

•Ramble - not x reader, about Toji, Mamaguro and his blessing.

My Blood Looks Good On You

Pro boxer!Toji au - F!reader, Filling in for a fellow medic and friend leads you directly into a world you never imagined you’d be a part of.

Choso

•When you’re so, so tired… ʚïɞ - GN!reader, coming home to your partner taking care of you is the best part of your day…

•The Oh… Moment ʚïɞ - GN!reader, The moment he realized he loves you…

•First Time ✿ ʚïɞ - F!reader, first time smut.

•Comforting Him About Yuuji ʚïɞ - F!reader, comforting Choso after his fight with Yuuji.

•Wanting Babies ✿ - F!reader, your first time unlocks a deep want for you both.

Megumi - Yuuji (Itafushi)

•When the World Comes Crashing Down… - Megumi’s entire world changes in the blink of an eye, of course he thinks it’s his fault. Luckily he still has Yuuji by his side. *manga spoilers past 212*

Sukuna

•The Red Queen ✿ - F!reader, lovesick sweet husband sukuna, you’re on your period and victim to the ridiculous stigma surrounding it.

Credit to @saradika / @saradika-graphics for the dividers 💗

[here-there-were-dragons]

just read the new hatchling skin rules and am having Some Type Of Initial Emotional Reaction and am now writing down said Initial Emotional Reaction uncensored as i currently Strongly Feel A Type Of Way and Require Venting. i cannot word this more politely. i do not have the capability to render this rage into polite borderline corporate-speak for the sake of the damn rules that act like anything short of apologizing for being alive to make up for having even the most constructive understanding friendly criticism or even personal mild non-critical dislike of something like a color or a breed is tantamount to personal targeted hatemail. i cannot wait until i cool into calm bitterness later because if i think about this enough to write about it again i will just go right back to being furious and the fact that everyone ielse who's complaining is focusing entirely on the lolita fashion thing and not on in my opinion the far more significant and offensive part is pissing me off even more. extremely angry unedited ranting ahead

fr having it's own "female presenting nipples" moment right now, not that i'm particularly surprised, they've been a prime example of "conservative protestantism in a lefty-language veneer" for a long while now.

"don't adultify" is such a fucking vague and easily selectively interpreted rule, not to mention insulting for a number of reasons,

but putting that part aside the whole idea of "nothing that suggests that the dragon is an adult in a young body" is. look, i'm not exactly fond of the "adult who looks like an anime schoolgirl" trope myself, but i fail to see how in the absolute FUCK having it be canon in-universe that it is both possible and legal for someone to be forced to stay as a child permanently, is somehow LESS creepy than just saying eternal youth dragons have dwarfism. also, fuck you to anyone with dwarfism apparently i guess?

and "no zombie baby dragons" is just stupid. even fucking minecraft has baby zombies, and microsoft has steadily butchered that game into one of the most t for toddler babymode things on earth this side of cocomelon.

and "no scars on hatchlings" so fuck you to any kids with scars too apparently, even though that's way more common than anyone seems to realize. you hear that, kids? if you're under 18 and have scars your very existence is too obscene for public view. 13+ year olds will be irreparably traumatized if they have to know you exist at all! fuck you disabled kids and fuck you amputee kids and fuck you any kids that have suffered anything ever at all for not appearing as a perfect unspoiled image of conservative christian child-doll innocent purity. flight rising staff says your body and existence is inherently too nsfw to even be acknowledged as existing much less visually seen. everyone knows REAL children don't get damaged at all, and if they do then they're too horrifying and defective at their job of Being A Child Properly to exist in public spaces! how dare ugly things that might make us uncomfortable with their existence by contradicting out ideals about aesthetic moral purity be allowed where good respectable normal people can see them!

i don't say any of these words lightly, and i'm very much not the type to go around calling people whatever-ists and in fact find that kind of thing extremely annoying, useless, reductive, and more or less only ever see it used as a blunt cudgel to shame people into line so they don't question you, and have historically found it especially annoying when people pull out the accusations-of-ism card on fr staff over things that are far more likely just completely understandable (if dubiously competent) issues of certain things simply not occurring to someone on code and design level due to lack of sufficient exposure to the idea, and have always been of the belief of giving them the benefit of doubt (even if often that just means i think they either most likely made an understandable mistake that i would likely also make, or, when i'm feeling less kind, that they're simply not particularly competent rather than actively hostile) so understand how much it means coming from me when i say- flight rising staff, sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, fuck you, you ableist batch of pricks, so far up your own asses with your performative veneer of vaguely lefty-flavored language that you don't realize how fundamentally extremely conservative all of your actual beliefs underlying them are. for every update you make that i approve of there's another that does twice as much damage as the good update fixed (and i'm starting to wonder if you maybe know what you're doing with that too-always batching the fucked up shit on the tail end of some big thing you know people will be excited about, always hiding these controversial moderation changes under something shiny and new, to the point that now i dread any new good update that genuinely seems a step in the right direction and/or is something we've been wanting for awhile because i'm just constantly expecting the knife hidden behind the footnotes afterwards, the fucking "ban tiktok/gay marriage/strip rights from this population/end net neutrality/whatever/ect" clause stapled onto the end of a bill about something entirely unrelated functionally holding a change people want hostage until they allow the fucked up part through. i've been here most of the site's 10+ years and i've seen this sort of thing happen far, far too often.) and every year the shit that gets pulled on the management and moderation end of things makes me more and more almost glad i've never had an income to spend on this, and the fact that apparently the moderation behind every single other petsite in existence is somehow significantly worse fucking astounds me. the only reason i stay around here is because It's Free Dragon Pictures, because it's literally the only actually good petsite game i've ever played and not gotten sick of within a week or so (and really the only good low-energy game i've ever played in general, which i'm increasingly convinced is in spite of it's management), and because somehow, despite all of this shit, i still genuinely love the game itself, because unfortunately by some accident of creation it seems they apparently stumbled purely by coincidence into making an actually good game idea no one else quite has. and after all the fuckery that gets constantly pulled, i refuse to believe the game being good is anything other than, much like many of the of the incidents i think they're unfairly accused of malice and -ism over, an accident.

Disabled children too obscene to fucking exist. fuck you. good to know half the child population's existence requires a trigger warning to even be allowed to be acknowledged as existing to you. good to know if the heart surgery i had when i was 11 had left any visible external scars i would be considered inherently too obscene to exist to you. good to know if the overhealed and benignly potentially cancerous scar on my back from whatever actually happened when i was a toddler (i don't trust either of my parents to ever be accurate about something like that) was in a more visible spot you would demand i have a trigger warning to post selfies online. good to know if any of the shit that's broken me emotionally left visible physical marks you would think it was good and right for me to be forcibly hidden from good normal people's view and considered too taboo for even the slightest discussion without hiding it with makeup and lies, just so i don't make good, lucky, undamaged, normal people uncomfortable, god fucking forbid. should we hide the gays too, since they also make so many people uncomfy? i imagine it won't be long before disabled adults are too obscene for your polite societytm sensibilities too. i've had the feeling for a long time that amputee and disabled skins were living on borrowed time with your rules, kept technically not explicitly dissalowed where all other forms of injury and ""body horror"" are banned simply out of fear of the backlash it would cause to include them, and well. the doomsday clock on that one just got a little bit closer to midnight, huh?

the only reason i wasn't a (physically, visibly, externally) scarred kid was pure sheer fucking luck. the only reason you weren't a physically scarred kid too is pure sheer fucking luck. the only reason you're not some type of disfigured or ugly or amputated or visibly injured or whatnot is pure sheer fucking luck. you're lucky. nothing more. if having to contend with that fact-the fact of how easily it could have gone a different way and there is nothing they would be able to do about it- makes good normal tm people uncomfortable, then well, get the fuck used to it, other people children very much fucking included don't exist to cater to the aesthetic sensibilities of a lucky perfect few. the only thing that separates you from the damaged ones you find too obscene is a bad day and an unlucky hand. and one day, even if you were lucky enough to escape being damaged when you were young, you and i will both be just like them too.

more festival skin winners slots is good. elemental swords sound fun.

[siblingshuffle]

Any instance where Blues has gotten hurt really bad, needing to be treated by either Roll, Light, or Rock, who are concerned?

Thanks for the ask, Anon!

Despite his non-combative role, Blues has gotten hurt a couple of times. Not often to a “really bad” degree because he’s not often put in a position where he’s likely to get hurt, but it does happen sometimes by nature of being related to the city’s hero. That said, unless he is physically incapable of "just dealing with it", he probably wouldn’t let someone else fuss over him for very long (if at all).

I mean, I made him mentally 13 years old because that’s the first official “teen” year (which are traditionally marked by rebellion, searching for identity, and attempts to assert their own autonomy - so basically for thematic reasons) on top of his already fierce sense of independence and his introversion. He tries to do everything himself unless he literally can’t.

Here’s a short list of injuries (& health issues) that he has had to make his family worry:

The incident that led to the discovery of Blues’s defective core. His power output wasn’t stable, it fluctuated due to the imbalance in his core, and he lost power mid-demonstration (basically passing out), and on top of that he was still being attacked on his way down. Dr. Light panicked over that, given that his son was hurt and possibly dying and it was his fault. The guy was beating himself up even before he discovered Blues climbing out through the window. (Also fun fact: Dr. Light still hasn’t completely given up on the idea that maybe he can find a way to ensure that Blues can get a new core AND keep his personality, though Blues doesn't think that’ll happen in his lifetime.)

As mentioned here, he ended up kidnapped by Oil Man to be used as bait after being sent home (since he was low on charge, and that’s when he starts getting more frequent weird/painful sensations in his limbs), and I’m unsure how clear I was, but he did not get the chance to get a good charge before being taken to a second location. So, for that whole arc, he’s very grumpy, sleepy, and uncomfortable (and definitely took a lot of little spite-fueled mini-naps). Roll got super worried upon discovering his scarf and the ransom note, in part since it didn’t look like he actually made it inside of the lab. She has him chug an E-Tank immediately upon his rescue and she & Dr. Light make him take a long nap once he was back home (and he was actually very willing to comply with both requests. Let Blues Sleep 20XX).

Also not an injury, but Blues was not "Live Laugh Love"-ing in game 10. I’m not sure how much you are counting this, but he was sick for most of the game, and everyone was very concerned.

Similarly, though not as seriously, Rock got EXTREMELY worried and would not stop trying to help Blues the first time Blues got the aforementioned sensation in one of his limbs around him. (It’s Rock’s function to help, after all.) Like, Blues had to sit him down and say "It’s just a power fluctuation. My core does that sometimes because it doesn’t work right. I’m not dying. Well, not yet anyway." This likely doesn’t count, but I’m putting it out there anyway.

—————

As you can see, not a lot of dramatic injuries, again probably due to lack of proximity to as dangerous activities. I do like to think, though, that newly-activated Robot Masters have very young-child-like responses to things despite thinking like their programmed age (because they still have to learn about the world around them via experiences to fill in the gaps that data can’t cover). So, here’s a bonus based on the idea:

5. Blues (approximately 2 days old) fell out of a tree he was climbing at the park (he saw some human kids doing it the day before and thought it looked fun, but didn’t account for the fact that he was heavier than those kids and the tree he’d picked was a little less sturdy.) He didn’t make it very high up before a branch snapped. The fall didn’t actually hurt much, but he hadn’t been hurt before and ended up so startled that, because he was 2 days old, translated to crying (and, because he’s also 13 years old, trying to stop crying because 'it’s not that bad' and 'this is so embarrassing'). Cue First-Time-Parent Dr. Light frantically checking up on him while Blues is trying to convince him that he’s fine.

[autistichalsin]

bg3 hunger games au please show me the headcannons if ur up for it <3

HELL YEAH!

So here's my headcanons for each of the characters, including my Dark Urge. I haven't put either of my Tavs in here yet, but I might later! I haven't really worked out where Jaheira and Minsc are, other than that they're older and beloved mentors.

Baldur's Gate functions like the Capitol, while Menzoberranzan is more like District 13- with an even darker twist, since they want to outright conquer the nation instead. (As opposed to in the books, where Coin was just being duplicitous about wanting power for herself.)

Baldur's Gate residents:

Cazador is very wealthy, even by capitolite standards. Keeping with the THG books' notes about victors being forced into prostitution, he primarily uses this wealth to buy out victors with Gortash's permission, all the better if he can be the first. But no matter how many he takes, Astarion is his favorite.

Halsin's Drow captors, much the same as Cazador, love to buy out victors, and they took a liking to Halsin in particular. They were from Menzoberranzan, but happened to be in Baldur's Gate the day the first war was lost, forcing them to stay and adapt. They don't mind terribly, though.

Gortash is the Grand Duke after forcing the Ravengards to leave in effectively a coup. He let Zariel, who ruled the nearby nation of Avernus, draft Karlach as a soldier before letting her return to her district.

Orin is, of course, behind most of the murders in the city. After discovering Minthara's attempt to investigate a series of defectors from Menzoberranzan, she took her and kept her prisoner.

Menzoberranzan residents:

Minthara, of course, aspires to be the one in power, especially if they take over Baldur's Gate. She has an intense dislike, but begrudging respect, for her mother. However, her plans to take over are ended when she discovered a group of Drow defected from Menzoberranzan and into Baldur's Gate. She tracked them down and was captured by Orin.

District 1 (luxury goods) residents:

Astarion couldn't be from anywhere else but the luxury District. He volunteered for his Games, thinking a lifetime of riches would be well-worth a few weeks of suffering, not knowing that Cazador was part of the package. He regrets volunteering every day after, especially as Cazador paid extra to Gortash to not let doctors heal his scars.

District 2 (masonry and peacekeepers):

Lae'zel volunteered the first Reaping she was eligible, despite another Githyanki being the one meant to volunteer. She rubbed it in their faces when she won, being one of the only ones that young to ever win.

District 3 (technology):

Gale managed to win despite his orb by attuning its magical energies to the blast mines, wiping out everyone who was at the bloodbath (mostly the strongest ones left) when he was a safe distance away. The others, he killed with advanced magic. After winning, he is so overcome with shame that he locks himself away, letting only Tara see him.

District 4 (fishing):

Wyll used to be from Baldur's Gate until Gortash engineered an 'accident' (poisoning that left Ulder mentally unfit to rule) and then had him and his son 'sent to 4 to recover' (exiled). To show that he wasn't playing favorites, he added Wyll's name to the pool of possible Tributes. Without the finances they once had to be able to manage Ulder's condition, Wyll volunteered for the games to save his father's life. And then afterwards discovered a patron from Avernus willing to help in exchange for Wyll serving her army.

District 7 (lumber):

Halsin is miserable in a district that primarily exists to fell trees. Before being reaped into the games, he managed to get himself a job planting new trees- until he became big and strong enough that the higher-ups said he had no choice. Then he got reaped for the Games and won by using his bear form to, put bluntly, maul the shit out of everyone there, which made it one of the highest-rated Games ever, him an adored figure in the Capitol (catching the attention of a Drow noble couple), and leaving him trauma that still persists into his middle age.

Kiaran is a happy volunteer for his Games, finding that his Urge to murder is starting to overwhelm him, and fearing what will happen if he gets caught committing murder outside of the one place he's allowed to do it. He killed so many other Tributes, most notably Alfira, in such brutal ways that most of the footage from his Games is never allowed to be broadcast again without heavy editing. However, he starts trying to fight the impulses after, when he sees Halsin, who treated him warmly before the Games, become horrified at him.

District 8 (textiles)

Shadowheart was kidnapped from her parents, who were attempting to flee to another nation now that she was old enough to run, and turned over to the local orphanage while her parents were captured and tortured in Baldur's Gate. The orphanage had been taken over by undercover Sharrans, who used it as a scheme to indoctrinate new followers into their cult.

District 12 (mining)

Karlach grew up objectively better than most in 12, but still poorer than most of everyone else in the country. To help her parents, she took a bodyguard job Gortash posted, open to all but based in the city, not knowing this would get her drafted into serving Zariel.

[suchathrilltobeagirl]

“Good Saturday morning Lady Katie, my precious girlfriend and sister in our womanhood!”

I saw a post this morning on FB stating: “God made the gender male and female! God was not confused!” I, an old Kansas gal, totally believe that completely. My Father’s word truly puts it this way: “For You created my inmost being (my inner spirit-soul); You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well!” (Psalm 139:13-14) My very eternal living self, my spirit-my soul, was God’s design and when my paternal earthly father came into know my maternal earthly mother I know that my Heavenly Father-Jesus & Holy Spirit knit me into the joining of sperm and egg at the moment of conception. I was not a mistake or freak on the part of my Creator. “God created them Adam-man and Eve-woman!” All was perfect in the garden till man (that includes woman as well) sinned and were sent out into the cursed ground of this world thanks to the lie of Satan and their eating of a forbidden fruit.

So how does that “knit me together in my mother’s womb as the ‘woman that I am’ but came to be seen in a deformed body of the sex that I never was?” I’ve read and believe that if my earthly existence actually starts at the very moment of sperm/egg conception that physical determination in the eyes of mankind has not happened yet and is to still form. Now God has already knitted the male or female heart/soul together in that conception and blessed that heart as He has created as my inmost being. I have no logical background to medically say this but the defect is yet to form as do my fingers and toes and nails in growing development inside my mother’s expanding womb that I will move and kick and turn in till physical birth.

What is my whole point here in my belief that my “womanhood” is real and truly who I am regardless of what any one else would “judge” either agreeing with or being against? I know my heart and soul and mind and know that God didn’t get me wrong nor was He ever confused by my being a woman. God doesn’t make mistakes so I am not a mistake in my womanhood heart and soul. No one has the right to judge me as far as mankind goes here. My God is my creator and my Savior and my Judge in my womanhood. Not mankind!

“There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, He is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?” (James4:12)

Now I do not have to answer nor defend my “womanhood” to anyone other than my Creator Who made my inmost being His glorious work of art and I know that full well!

“Heather Caroline H, the girl my Lord loves!”

PS: Thank you Katie for allowing this “old Kansas gal” be touched by your precious heart, be blessed for who you are girl!

Babygirl, all I can say, in response to your amazing post, is "Yea and AMEN!"

In girly love,

Katie xxx

[izzy-art-879]

KND Swap AU: Part 2

The Six-Gum Gang - The Delightful Children From Down the Lane

Vin Moosk - Mrs. Thompson

Windsor - Valerie

Chad Dickson - Cree Lincoln

Numbuh 85 - Tommy Gilligan

The Lovely Children From Around the Corner consists of Runt, Lunk, Goof, Wilbur and Dixie. They are polite and proper to the adults and rude to the other kids, especially to the Kids Next Door (mainly Sector VI). They talk in southern accents in unison, want to become adults as soon as possible and use robots and machines to destroy the KND.

The Delightful Gang consists of Bruce, David, Alessandra, Lenny and Constance. They are a gang of western cowboy robbers who work for the Lovely Children. They enjoying stealing other kids' belongings like toys, candy and homework.

Vin Moosk, better known as Mr. Moosk at school, is the homeroom teacher of Sector VI, the Lovely Children and other classmates at Gallagher Elementary School. He seems nice, stern and kind but is secretly the King of the Weredogs after being given a cursed necklace by his angry and bitter ex-wife. He turned most of his Honor Roll students into weredogs where they eat other students' homework.

Jolene Thompson was once an accountant working at Accounting and Daughter until one day she realized that accounting is boring and hated wearing ties. So she became a Tie Hunter and kicks the butts of ties everywhere. She is a bit eccentric but means well. She recruits Numbuh 362 in her rebellion. Numbuh 362 was at first wary of her but later on, she considers Jolene as a friend.

Windsor is part of the Honor Roll Society at Gallagher Elementary School and is Numbuh 60's school rival. He is snotty and enjoys bragging about his school accomplishments and grades to the other students, specially Numbuh 60. He is a teacher's pet and a favorite of Mr. Moosk. He is also a Weredog who eats homework. He also has a cute pet puppy who he is possessive of.

Valerie is the daughter of Jolene's former boss (who she refers to as Mommy) at Accounting and Daughter who pretended to be a Tie Hunter to make Jolene an accountant again since she was the best accountant at the company. She is a junior executive at the company and managed to fool Jolene into thinking she wants to fight ties alongside her.

Chad Drilovsky (formerly known as Numbuh 274) is the older brother of Numbuh 60 and is one of the most wanted enemies of the KND. He escaped decommissioning on his 13th birthday and joined the Teen Ninjas. He is ruthless, cunning and a skilled fighter. He and his brother are arch-nemesis although, deep down , he misses how close they were when they were younger and slightly cares about Patton.

Cree Lincoln (formerly known as Numbuh 11) was the Supreme Leader of the Kids Next Door before Numbuh 1 and is the older sister of Abby. She was the best of the best but when she turned 13, she escaped decommissioning and defected to the Teen Ninjas. As Supreme Leader she was loyal, humble and mild-mannered. But after becoming a Teen Ninja, she became a jerk and self-absorbed. Her relationship with her little sister became strained and is a cheerleader at school. However, there may be more to Cree than what meets the eye...

Paddy Fulbright is the younger brother of Numbuh 86. He loves to hang out with his sister but often can't due to her being busy with the KND which kinda makes him jealous. He can come off as annoying to others but means well. He was formerly known as Numbuh P (despite P not being a number) but removed his booger from the Code Module to save the KND from being stuck as animals. Due to not being able to re-enter the Kids Next Door, he instead became known as "The Paddy", a vigilante who protects kids everywhere. Fanny and Paddy have a little brother named Shaunie.

Numbuh 2.0 (Tommy Gilligan) is the younger brother of Numbuh 2 and part of Sector W. He is a bit of a slacker and is always goofing off, much to the dismay of his brother. He and his brother have a pretty good relationship but he fears his brother's temper.

[askbillcipherandceleste]

Dusk of Flatland Part 2

Part 1 is here

So the second and final part of the comic is done everyone.. AnD OH BOY IT'S A DOOZY..

TW-For ABLEISM, Character death, genocide (an entire dimension is destroyed), eye trauma, and blood

PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION.

Transcript done by panel

5 - Fire making a woosh sound

10- Yin-yang "Hey, no one is allowed on stage!" "Leave or We'll use force!!" Tapping their foot

11- Bill very quiet "You killed them"

13- Yin-yang "Oh for the-" Grumbles

14- Yin-yang "They were a defect!! Useless to us, just like the rest of them were!"

15- Bill *Unnerving laughter* "Useless"

16- Bill louder this time "USELESS"

17- Bill "HOW FUCKING DARE YOU"

18- Bill "YOU POINTLESS WASTE OF SPACE"

19- Bill "THOSE TWO WERE THE ONLY GOOD THINGS IN THIS PLANE" "AND YOU MASACERED BOTH"

20- Bill "I MISH AS WELL BURN IT ALL"

Ohoh ITS DONE FINALLY, and I can escape the angst for a bit..

Again I AM SO SORRY, BLAME MY PLAYLIST FOR THIS!!!!!!!!!

[cetrouz]

I looked it up, youngest age I found to go fully grey was a lady that went grey at 25, she started finding grey hairs at 13. So combine genetics with the stress of defecting from communist Hungary (I assume the USSR and such still exist in this world? also yes prequel about this please) and yeah I can see him going grey super early. (How much you wanna bet he defected for a similar reason as quitting Walton Media? i.e. he invented something nice and the soviets turned it to evil purposes)

These asks are really good so I'm gonna put them all in one post (specially because I don't know what to answer to each one individually oop).

It's good to see more people drawing lines between the real world and game's characters!! Arpad Kovacs doesn't have much about himself revealed on the game in comparison to other important people at Walton Media like Elijah Walton, but knowing the inspirations for his character and that events of the real world are also part of the world in American Arcadia, we can assume many things regarding these characters, who were in most part inspired by real people.

I don't know much about the history of Fred Rogers and Hungary's communist regime but this makes me want to look more into it. So thanks anon!!

[vxctorx]

@siberianwarriors You are cordially invited to the summer soirée at Ardleith Manor.

The Lawful

Name: Illya V. Kuryakin aka Isaiah V. Kress Age: 30 Gender: Cis Man Agender FC: Adam Driver Bio: Born in 1983 in the gradually collapsing Soviet Union — specifically Russia — to a Soviet politician and (secretly) Jewish-Ukrainian mother from an affluent family. His father was abusive toward both of them, Illya taking the brunt of it as he grew older as he wished to protect his mother.  One night, when Illya was around 13, after the collapse of the USSR in 1991, men came to take his father away. The young man’s hearing was good enough to hear the gunshot that killed his father, turning immediately to protect his mother in case the men returned for her. Fortunately, he and his mother were safe and fled to the United States seeking refuge. He was accepted, due to his young age, but his mother was rejected. Illya went to live with a mother’s friend, Elena Solo, a widowed mother to Napoleon Solo. Illya and Napoleon initially were rivals, but grew to have an attraction to each other by age 16, experimenting with each other mildly (only making out). They both excelled in school, Solo being recruited by the FBI after undergraduate and Illya recruited by the CIA after graduate school. He had studied forensic psychology and international relations.  The CIA experimented on Illya, psychologically and physically, trying to enhance his natural physical prowess. Their success is unknown at this point, but it took a toll on Illya emotionally. Two years into being part of the CIA, Illya found a file on his father and learned the very man who was his mentor had killed his father approximately a decade ago.  Illya killed his mentor under the cover of night, and defected to England under the name “Isaiah V. Kress”, taking a Jewish first name in his mother’s honor as she had raised him in secret with Jewish traditions and culture.  “Isaiah” now works for MI6, and is at the Manor to investigate Victor and his now deceased business partner for possible unseemly monetary dealings.  He harbors many secrets, including knowing Lady Aislin McLeod’s elder sister, having made out in college once after studying for a psychology class. He and Aislin also know each other, but they mutually decided to not mention that due to him working under an alias.  His darkest secret, however, is his true identity and what he did to his CIA mentor, which has yet to be traced back to him...for now. 

Other: Illya is bisexual, but semi-closeted due to not knowing the modern English term for what he experiences attraction wise. 

- Illya’s first true love will always be Napoleon Solo, but he is open to a relationship…if he thinks he can keep the person safe from his past. 

[moonfruito]

my running theory is that ava and lizzie were girlfriends and then ava defected from the navy to become a pirate or was a spy in the navy for the pirates' rebellion and in the fight that ensued after her position was revealed she was killed. the navy blame the pirates and the pirates blame the navy and that's why lizzie fucking hates the navy and jayson fucking hates pirates. this is based less on what i think is canon and more on what i think will cause the most problems because i like the drama. however, i am not one to deviate too far from canon, so here is a very not chronological list of the evidence that i have collected that i will edit and update because more is sure to arise and i am for sure forgetting something.

The Tides Between Us #58 [1:11:25] "You just look so much like your sister, so I thought there was like no way... I wasn't actually gonna shoot you or anything." : lizzie knows who ava is, knows what she looks like well enough to recognise her and her family, but nonetheless had no intention to hurt jay despite her deep hatred of the navy. ava and jay seem to have had a good relationship, so lizzie would likely have heard good things about jay, and therefore hesitated to hurt her.

lizzie is the only person we have encountered so far that immediately recognised jay not from her wanted poster but from her looking like a ferin. it seems likely that she has had much more prolonged contact with ava than most others, including the navy soldiers they've met.

GRIZZCORD Questions Channel [22/11/22] "Ava was a brat! She was a troublemaker growing up. She was headstrong, very brave, very confident, and very reliable. And she kicked ass. She had a great smile, she had a great heart. She was very carefree, and a bit mischievous even. She'd be serious when it came to her job. She could be impulsive. She could be wrong a lot, and irresponsible. She stood up to her father often, she did not join RAFT to make him happy, she had her own reasons." : ava was a rebellious character, and one that seems likely to have pushed back against the navy's oppressive structure and defected. it's also possible that she joined raft to learn information about the navy to assist a rebellion, and fed that information to lizzie. in that case, it would make sense that lizzie is so fixated on starting this war against the navy - she wants to finish what ava started and lost her life for.

Breaking The Ice #32 [32:57] "I don't want to be with the navy because I'd rather be free. I don't want to live by their strict and rigid structure... I wanted to sail the sea, see the world." : the first part of the argument that jay uses to convince lizzie she is no longer navy. it's possible that lizzie recognised similarities between jay and ava's carefree attitude and hatred of navy structure in this statement.

Breaking The Ice #32 [33:13] "L: So you expect me to believe that you've run away from your family's line? // C: Is it that hard to believe? // J: Have you seen how the Ferins operate? It sucks. [Grizzly DM-Smiles] G: Roll a persuasion check, Jay, with advantage." : grizzly does a little sneaky smile when jay asks if lizzie has seen what the ferins are like, implying that lizzie is in fact more than familiar with the ferin family. he asks for the roll right after jay says this, implying that she has hit the mark with that line. lizzie tests jay's feelings about her family specifically, wanting to see whether she rejects her family's structure the same way ava did.

Breaking the Ice #32 [35:16] "...the reason why I'm, uh... so defensive over seeing a... a Ferin. Not too long ago... // I saw the fucking navy come on to the outlaws. They raided our soil. They killed... They killed some of their own." : ava died about a year before this moment, so it was recent enough that it's plausible that the battle lizzie speaks of is the one where the navy attacked as a result of ava's rebellion and she was killed. the difficulty with which lizzie speaks with the deaths of the navy soldiers suggests how personal this was to her, especially given her usual distate for the navy. she says the ferin name with a similar difficulty. she implies that jayson or other ferin family members were involved with this battle and she sees them as responsible for those deaths, including ava's, explaining her initial distrust of jay.

GRIZZCORD Questions Channel [17/9/22] grizzly confirms lizzie is "either lesbian or bi".

@/GrizzlyPlays on Twitter [17/9/22] "oh ur gonna love her backstory bro": grizzly responds to someone tweeting about lizzie being canonically sapphic, heavily implying that there is a key female love interest in lizzie's backstory.

The Tides Between Us #58 [1:19:31] lizzie has a tattoo of "an amalgamation of birds and other things that fly up [her] arm.": the tattoo of the birds could be a memorial to ava, as we know that the ferins are associated with birds.

Not Ferin Well #53 [38:36] "I have already lost one daughter. I do not even consider that man my brother. If this is how you really feel, I do not wish to lose another.": jayson speaks of ava, drey and jay with the same grief. the two living characters have simply defected from the navy and the family, but he speaks of them as if they had died just like ava. the loss that jayson feels about ava may heavily be in part that same sense of betrayal and family division over the same issue of leaving the navy to become a pirate. he feels that in combination with the grief over her death, which outweighs the betrayal enough that he doesn't disown the same way that he does with drey. ava's defection also would've happened towards the end of her life not long before her death so that impression of her is not what lingers for jayson in comparison to his relationship with drey.

Not Ferin Well [39:04] "I won't hurt these pirates, but you [addressing Drey] will stay in here. And you Jay, Jay you will come home. I will see to it that you are back with your mother, away from this delinquency, whatever this rebellious phase might be.": jayson may recognise ava's rebelliousness in jay's actions. the reason that he's so overbearing with her is because he's scared that she will go down the same path that her sister and uncle did. he denied her the freedom that piracy would offer because he's always been afraid that she would like that better than life in the navy.

[alleyskywalker]

THROBB FORTNIGHT Fic Recs: Days 11-14

Day 11: First Kiss

Hold on to your heart by saltywench / @salty-wench (T, 1k)

A cute fic for a cute trope! This is the good old "your more experienced crush teaches you about kissing and you end up kissing for read." Robb is adorable in this, with all his inexperienced insecurity and you get the sense that Theon knows exactly what he's doing, starting from flirting with girls in front of Robb's salad to begin with.

Day 12: Soulmates AU

Keepsake by ThyCannoli (M, 9k)

This is a brilliantly written and heart-wrenching fic! The Soulmates part is mostly important because it allows Robb and Theon to share dreams and meet even before Theon gets to Winterfell. Told through their meetings in the dreamscape of their dreams, the whimsical and often metaphorical nature of the setting really allows to highlight their feelings and tensions, taking us through the development of their relationship and all it's ups and downs. It's a canon-compliant fic, so the ending is, of course, painful, but also bittersweet in a way that feels nostalgic and fulfilling and cathartic. This is a fic really stayed with me, even though I read it first a pretty long time ago. (Show canon, but with some book-canon elements.)

Day 13: Friends to Lovers to Enemies to Lovers

Android Dreams and Electric Sheep by VagrantWriter (M, 43k)

And now for something rather different… This is a scifi/far future type AU in which Robb repairs high-level, human-like AIs and Theon is…well, an AI. You know, one of those AI/human romance novels? This is it. And, frankly, it's a real page-turner, as most things by VagrantWriter. I admit, I was cautious in picking it up. I'm very into canon-verse and when I read AUs I'm picky about the characters needing to feel like themselves, etc. And then AI romances aren't normally my thing. And yet I'm very happy I gave it a chance, because it's a truly touching short romance novel, that really does go through this entire arch of slow burn to "betrayal" to reunion, and the AI/non-human aspect is handled very well and interestingly. Robb's characterization is very sympathetic and I think the way Theon is handled in these circumstances is original and compelling in its own way.

Day 14: Reunions

i will carry you to freedom by MayWilder (M, 2k)

Robb and Theon's reunion in a No Defection AU where Theon does go to Pyke, but ends up choosing Robb. It's passionate, it's desperate, it's angsty, but also very corny and romantic as well - all the tropes bundled up into one wish-fulfilling concoction. These are always a bit hit or miss for me, because I feel it can be difficult to manage a line where the narrative is not too dismissive or humiliating to Theon. This fic is very romantic and full of desperate loyalty kink, yes, but I also really enjoyed how genuinely appreciative Robb is of Theon's sacrifice and that he understands that he ought to be "worth it" rather than this being something automatically owed him.

[fantasyinvader]

I think I've solved something that snowballed into solving a few things.

Lysithea recognizes the outfits of TWSITD due to the experiments on her and her siblings. These were supposed to be Imperial overseers after House Hymr tried to defect to the Alliance. I was thinking though, we do know one imperial battalion that dresses in those outfits. House Vestra's Sorcery Engineers. An engineer being someone who is involved with inventing, designing or maintaining something, in this case sorcery. House Vestra are known for being secretive yet not having any lands to their name. Lysithea's experiments happened 13 years before the start of the game, four before the Insurrection of the Seven happened, but also the same year Hubert became Edelgard's vassal which is weird because Edelgard was the ninth=born child of Ionius.

I think the clues point towards not Hubert being a secret Slither, but rather his dad. It mean a few things.

1) His role in the Insurrection would be more clear. He was on team Ionius until the Insurrection was in Enbarr, where he switched sides and opened the palace to the opposition. Up until then, he was okay with Ionius abolishing houses and consolidating power, saying it was his family's duty to serve the emperor only to betray him at the final hour. 2) Hubert's anger at his father for the experiments Edelgard underwent. It's not that he betrayed his duties, it's because it was his family's people that did the experiments on Edelgard. 3) Hubert's support with Hanneman is recontextualized. It's not that Hubert doesn't want to hear how good his dad was out of guilt and a desire to avoid looking at the truth. The truth was the father Hubert had admired was a piece of shit, could even tie into him abandoning his former desire to be a pegasus knight to protect Edelgard. 4) This would also give Hubert an avenue to find TWSITD to work with them. It's part of the plan, a plan Hubert wants to derail for Edelgard's sake.

But I think this would also mean that Edelgard wasn't a case of luck of the draw when it came to her surviving the experiments. She was chosen for Hubert the same year TWSITD managed to give someone two Crests despite her claim to the throne being pretty low. They picked Edelgard, then we know by the following year Cornelia in the Kingdom had her hands on Hapi, experimenting on her to control monsters. Hopes even connects Hapi, Lysitha and Edelgared in their shared paralogue.

Cornelia was the one who offered sanctuary to Anselma when she left the Imperial court, introducing Anselma to Lambert, keeping Lambert and Anselma separated after they married, in addition to making it so that Anselma never knew Edelgard was in the Kingdom until Thales replaced Arundel and took her back for the experiments. TWSITD then orchestrated the Tragedy of Duscur, throwing the Kingdom into chaos for Edelgard's benefit in the war they were planning. If it had been any other kid who survived the experiments, experiments they had already done in the past, then the Tragedy would not have worked as Anselma's part was based on a desire to reunite with her daughter. Not to mention, Thales replacing Edelgard's uncle Arundel to take her back to the experiments and who then became regent after Ionius was rendered incapable of ruling.

So Edelgard not going insane through the experiments, getting the second Crest and surviving, becoming heir to the throne while Thales becomes regent after already replacing her uncle while at the same time priming Anselma to betray Lambert and throw the Kingdom into chaos (weakening Loog's descentant as payback for making peace with the Church perhaps?), then using Ionius as a puppet to indoctrinate Edelgard against the Church while sending in her vassal, Hubert, to push her into working with TWSITD despite his father betraying Ionius to the Insurrection (with Edelgard not as trusting to the other kids of the Insurrection when she retakes Enbarr in Hopes).

Really…Edelgard was being played all her life. Hell, maybe the whole history of House Vestra has been covertly pushing the decline of the empire while supposedly working for the emperor?

[mybeautifulchristianjourney]

Super Villains as Queer Icons

by Ken Ham

In a recent article on the Atlantic magazine’s website, there was a culture piece that looked at horror movie villains as “queer icons.”

Without delving too deeply into the article—which included many forced associations as well as some movies which were specifically written from the LGBT perspective, the author, Mary Retta, looked at several different “movie monsters,” and one association really stood out. She quoted another author, Susan Stryker, who in 1994 said this in regard to Frankenstein’s monster: “The transsexual body is an unnatural body. It is the product of medical science. It is a technological construction. It is flesh torn apart and sewn together again in a shape other than that in which it was born.”

We’ve discussed numerous times the horrors of surgical mutilation and unnecessary hormone treatments that the transgender movement and an all-too-willing medical community have foisted upon young people who are undergoing a crisis in their lives or just the uncomfortable and tumultuous throes of puberty. Rather than looking to heal those who are hurting, this only adds to the pain and confusion of these young people. But the above “body” statement struck me as a reminder that everyone is remade in one way or another. Either we “remake” ourselves in our own fallen and distorted image by surgery, addiction, hedonism, false religion, doing what is right in our own eyes (Judges 21:25), or some other panacea which excludes God. Or as Scripture teaches, we are remade in the image of Christ.

While at first blush it may seem counterintuitive to compare human birth and Christian rebirth with Frankenstein and his monster, there are some striking parallels and contrasts. I’ll briefly list a few below, based on the “body” quote above. The Bible speaks about God “knitting” or “intricately weaving” us together in the womb (Psalm 139:13, 15). The development of the child in the womb is one of the wonders of the created world, wherein genetic material from the father and mother comes together to create a new, unique individual. Scripture rightly says that people are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). By contrast, Victor Frankenstein crudely sewed together his monster, hindered by the constraints of his abilities and tools. The resulting abomination is rejected in disgust by his creator.

There have been tremendous advances in reconstructive surgery, where surgeons reconstruct accident victims’ bodies to resemble their pre-accident selves. Prosthetics technology also gives people artificial parts to either compensate for birth defects (a sad consequence of the fall) or loss of body parts in accidents. These are good things and can be looked at as medical science attempting to alleviate some of the consequences of mankind’s sin.

Such science is also co-opted for so-called “gender affirmative care” in which biological males receive surgery and hormones to feminize their appearance and vice versa for women. However, there is no way to truly turn a male into a female or a female into a male. A man will never have the capacity to bear and nurse offspring as a mother does, and a woman will never father children. This sad imitation of manhood or womanhood robs them of their God-given femininity or masculinity that should be healthy and honoring for them as image-bearers of God. In this sin-cursed world, however, people are often confused, connived, or coerced into believing lies about their bodies, gender, or sexuality. Recently, videos have gone viral of “de-transitioners” who, having been given “cross-sex” hormones during their teen years, look neither masculine nor feminine and now realize the preciousness of what they gave up in this confusion.

While probably not the first comparison that comes to mind when thinking of the body of Christ and its members, Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein has some curious biblical themes running throughout its pages. Whether they were entirely intentional or not is unclear (although it seems certain that many were, based on her 1831 introduction to Frankenstein). Shelly wrote the following lines to explain the moment that the monster came to life: “Frightful must it be; for supremely frightful would be the effect of any human endeavour to mock the stupendous mechanism of the Creator of the world.” Her book contains many other biblical allusions, usually antitheses to the creation account, as would be expected in a tale where man plays God in creating what Victor Frankenstein deems a “wretched monster.” Yet all these themes in the book showcase that Shelley had in mind an anti-creation horror concept embedded in her book that acknowledged the perfectness and goodness of the Genesis creation account and that man’s attempt to remake himself or attempt to instill life is futile and only leads to catastrophe. Only God can create and recreate humans (by new birth into Christ), as we are made in his image.

[dasinclair]

uhhh hi, long time listener first time caller! where do you think da sinclair learned all the knowledge and skills necessary to design and build the reanimen? classes, textbooks, obsessively scouring niche sources at the library? did he ever get mentored by an older scientist or something?

i haven’t read the comics so sorry if this is explained in those, but I would love to hear your headcanons about young da sinclair!

thank you so much, listener! sorry this took so long. they don't explain hardly anything about him in the comics but that's where i come in

i do think his skills are largely self-taught and self-researched. he is absolutely a "scouring niche sources at the library" kind of guy. he loves libraries. he attended a few different schools over the years, both public and private, none of which were ever a good fit for his intelligence and standards (and behavioral issues). he was never really in one place long enough to join a robotics club or anything like that. not that he's much of a joiner

early on he was sort of mentored by his father, who was absolutely not a scientist but had a bit of mechanical knowledge and supported his ambition. father sinclair set up a little workspace for d.a. in the attic and would bring him scrap parts and thrifted electronics to work with. of course they would occasionally go to the garage and mess with The Car as well

otherwise there was a lot of solo experimentation. d.a. greatly enjoyed taking objects apart and putting them back together and seeing what connected to where. he'd offer to fix electronics or bicycles for other kids on the street (whether or not they were actually broken in the first place). i think he also liked building models - lots of tiny intricate pieces fitting together

tying into my headcanon that the sinclair parents owned a mortuary and d.a. practically grew up there: it was easy for him to become desensitized and perceive the human body, especially the dead one, as a "thing". he saw the interplay of flesh and machinery early on with things like the embalming machine or even the device used to wire the corpses' mouths shut.

he became obsessed with medical technology, in particular, around age 13 after having surgery for an aortic valve defect. he had a lot of time to read after that. he'd take home anatomy books, obsessively study and copy diagrams from them. he'd fill journals with notes and sketches of prosthetics and medical implants - some for saving lives, some just to improve efficiency, all a bit unconventional in design. always room for improvement

he eventually started submitting the better ones (along with impassioned essays) to scientific magazines. these weren't the same designs he'd end up using on the reanimen later, due to lack of resources, of course. but this is what started getting the attention of the sort of people who give out genius grants

he should have been properly mentored by someone, really, but he's not much of a listener either.

[disco-elysium-via-polls]

MEASUREHEAD - "YOUR RACE DESCENT HAS ONLY *WORSENED* SINCE I LAST SAW YOU -- YOU HAVE REALLY LET YOURSELF GO."

🎵Your Body Betrays Your Degeneracy

"You serve the Union, don't you? Aren't they... white?"

"Kim, what do you think about this?"

"Know anything about this mug?" (Show him the mug.)

"Why are you not with the Hardie boys?"

"What are those tattoos of yours supposed to mean?"

[Conceptualiztion - Medium 10] Subscribe to his advanced race theory.

[Physical Instrument - Formidable 13] Knock him out.

[Leave].

I'm asking this question again because...

KIM KITSURAGI - "I think this racist is better than the last -- but the next racist will be the really good one."

We can pass this Conceptualization check now.

CONCEPTUALIZATION [Medium: Success] - That will be the...

"That will be our lucky racist!"

KIM KITSURAGI - "He will grant us three wishes."

MEASUREHEAD - "YOUR PAEDOMORPHIC FRIEND HAS QUICK WITS." He leans in to inspect: "A PROTRUDING OCCIPUT AND AN INDENTED ZYGOMATIC BONE..."

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant does not flinch.

MEASUREHEAD - "YOU SHOULD KEEP HIM CLOSE. THE CONGENITAL DEFECT OF FARSIGHTEDNESS DOES NOT RENDER HIM A COMPLETE INVALID. HE STILL HAS THE USE OF HIS MIND."

3. "Know anything about this mug?" (Show him the mug.)

MEASUREHEAD - He does not so much as glance at the object.

"Know anything about it?"

"This your kind of thing?"

"Put this into the trash lately?"

MEASUREHEAD - "STOP SHOWING ME YOUR PATHETIC CUP. I HAVE NO INTEREST IN IT."

DRAMA [Medium: Success] - He had nothing to do with it.

3. "Why are you not with the Hardie boys?"

MEASUREHEAD - "I AM NOT THE FIRST LINE OF DEFENCE -- I AM THE LAST." He looks toward the coast, defiantly. "IN ADDITION, THESE SO-CALLED *HARDIE BOYS* ARE AN EFFEMINATE CLIQUE OF BODYBUILDERS. THEIR COMPANY IS SPIRITUALLY DEGRADING."

DRAMA [Medium: Success] - You pick up on something artificial in his tone, like he's putting on an *act*. This is unlike him. He is usually more himself.

"But you're all part of the Union?"

"There's more to it. What have you got against them?"

MEASUREHEAD - "THE HARDIE MANLETS ARE ON THE PAY OF THE COMPANY. I ANSWER TO THE UNION ALONE -- AND I DO THIS OUT OF *RACE HEROISM*. FINANCE IS AN ALIEN CONCEPT TO THE SEMENESE."

"NOW LEAVE ME BE. I MUST LUXURIATE IN THE COMPANY OF MY WOMAN."

"There's more to it. What have you got against them?"

Let it be.

MEASUREHEAD - "FINE. THEY HAVE RECENTLY FALLEN UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF A POSSIBLY SEXUALLY PERVERTED FEMALE VAGRANT AND A NARCOTICS PEDDLER. IT'S SHAMEFUL."

"Who do you mean?"

MEASUREHEAD - "FIND OUT FOR YOURSELF, ENDOMORPHIC BLOB."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Interesting." The lieutenant takes a quick note.

6. [Physical Instrument- Formidable 13] Knock him out.

We still only have an 8% chance at this, but it won't kill us this time. Which is technically the first time, because last time it killed us.

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT [Formidable: Failure] - How did this happen? Your little fist is in his giant hand and he's squeezing it. It hurts...

MEASUREHEAD - "YOU MUST BE OUT OF YOUR MIND, DEGENERATE DRUNK." The pressure on your hand becomes unbearable. "SAY IT: *I AM A DEGENERATE ALCOHOLIC*."

"I… am… a… a degenerate al… alcoholic."

"F... d.. .fuck you!"

"I'm a... cop."

"Help!"

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - Your fist cracks in his hand like a ripe apple. Pain shoots up into your brain as he's twisting it more and more:

-1 Health

MEASUREHEAD - "THE WORDS TO THE SONG HAVE CHANGED. SAY: 'I AM A VIOLENT DRUNK.'"

"I... I... I am a violent drunk..."

"No. I... won't fucking say anything."

-1 Morale

MEASUREHEAD - "GOOD." He releases your hand. "NOW LEAVE, BEFORE YOU HUMILIATE YOUR HOMO-EROTIC ORGANISATION ANY FURTHER."

7. [Leave.]

Kim wants to talk to us.

KIM KITSURAGI - "I'd appreciate it if you didn't force us into situations where I may have to shoot random civilians. Because that won't get us anywhere."

"I'm not even sure the *one bullet* my chamber holds would even prick that hulk."

"But *he's* the one trying to provoke *me*!"

"Okay, I was trying to assert my dominance over him."

"But... I was fighting *bad*, unsavoury ideologies. I'm a hero."

"How else are we gonna get through the gates?"

"Can't promise that. I might attack him again." [Leave.]

"Alright, fine. I won't do it again." [Leave.]

KIM KITSURAGI - "And you're just going to *let* him manipulate you like that?" He raises an eyebrow.

4. "How else are we gonna get through the gates?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "There must be some other way. Let's go see the yard again -- it faces the other end of the harbour. We're done with Measurehead here."