#definitely doing it again

[kingkat12]

posting the next chapter of brat tonight!!<3

so guess who's invited to join her boss for some lunch?;)

EEK I'M SO EXICITED... 10k words of pure smut? yes PLEASE

[hinamie]

newest issue of first years fashion just dropped

[batcavescolony]

Katniss is such an unreliable narrator. She says "Then something unexpected happens. At least, I don't expect it because I don't think of District 12 as a place that cares about me" girl you deliver strawberries to the Mayor, you hunt and trade for the district, when you fell at Prim being chosen someone caught you, when you went to Prim people parted for you, when you volunteered EVERYONE stopped. Idk how to tell you but I think you're a pillar of the community.

[secondbeatsongs]

Food Crime: Frosty the Slawman

so a while ago, I saw this photo going around on tumblr:

at first, I thought this was photoshopped. I mean, "welcome new man in your life"? that feels like a translation error, or someone being silly on purpose.

but guess what! turns out, Frosty Slaw Man is real!

and soon...he will be mine. let's get cooking

(full disclosure: I crafted this snowman and took notes about it over a year ago. and then, like with many things in my life, I forgot about him, and let him drift into the ADHD void of Things I'm Not Currently Staring At, where object permanence is tentative and largely unrealized.

but here we are! and here he is: the slaw man. it's time to share him with you, so that you can suffer as I have suffered, and/or rejoice in my gelatin creation!)

so this recipe photo originally came from Mid-Century Menu (archive link), a blog that seems like one after my own heart, and which once tried to make the Slaw Man (with not much success; but we'll get back to that)! but it's not just that blog that has copies of this ad. I also found it on reddit, and in a few different places on ebay!

lookit that guy! he's a real guy!

both the reddit post and some of the ebay listings say that this is from 1963 (though I haven't been able to figure out which magazines it was printed in, to confirm this for myself). but in looking this up, I discovered something else fun! there's another version of this ad!

Best Foods is what Hellmann's stuff is called on the west coast, and the "this is no place for second best" thing makes a lot more sense when you consider that the ad was probably made for Best Foods first, and then just reused and rebranded for the east coast

the more you know!

anyway the benefit of finding this alternate ad is that the scan on this image is a lot clearer, and so the recipe is more readable! and in looking at it, I've realized something important:

when Mid-Century Menu tried this recipe, they got an ingredient amount wrong.

when they made their beloved Slaw Man, they had the water amount written down as 1/4 cup, but looking at this scan up close, it is actually 3/4 cup of water! something that might make a significant difference, considering we're working with gelatin!

(there's also another change I want to make compared to what they did, when I do this recipe. but we'll get into that in a sec.)

for now: we begin

so. there's no way I'm making a Slaw Man this large. I am just one person, and considering the ingredients of this, I don't think I'm going to be able to consume that much Slaw.

two entire heads of cabbage? three pounds of cottage cheese, a thing that I don't even like to eat? no. that's a bad idea.

so I'm starting small here and making this 1/3 the size of the original:

2 packets of unflavored gelatin 1/4 cup cold water 1 cup mayo 1 tsp salt 1lb cottage cheese 4 cups shredded cabbage

surely this will result in a reasonable amount of Man

...okay, I started chopping the cabbage thinking it would be easier, but I've given up and pulled out a grater. this is much better! and somehow more violent (affectionate)

the recipe says to soften the gelatin in cold water, and then stir over hot water until it's dissolved. I'm going to assume "stir over hot water" means a double boiler, so let's do that

hmmm, the gelatin is very foamy? it’s melted, but the bottom of the pot feels really....sticky

okay. after a couple minutes more and no change, I’m calling this good enough.

so one thing that others who have attempted this recipe have not taken into consideration is the cottage cheese. you see, the others used normal cottage cheese, but the recipe says to use "cottage cheese, cream style"

I’ll be real, I’m not 100% what that means, since we don’t have that here. but I can take an educated guess! so let’s blend the cottage cheese!

(with an immersion blender. I am not willing to wash an actual blender because of this)

mmm, yes. very smooth

...actually. why isn't all cottage cheese like this? the thing I hate about cottage cheese is the texture, so why isn't it all smooth and creamy like this?? I could eat this!!

a new discovery is made every day in this house.

okay, time to start mixing things together.

ah, frosty. I opened a whole new thing of mayo for you! do you feel special?

(I'd make a "pre-dinner snack?" joke, but sometimes I think I'm the only one that remembers Regular Ordinary Swedish Meal Time)

okay, the mayo, cottage cheese, and salt have been added to the gelatin. but as this cools, the texture is getting...hmm. less than appealing.

lastly: the cabbage

oh. oh this is not very nice

next it says to pack the "salad" into a one pound container, and two six-cup bowls, but since I made this recipe so much smaller, I'm going to uhhhh. uh. find some bowls that seem like they'd be correct...snowman? proportions?

ah. this bowl is too big.

hey, these'll work!

now I just have to let them chill for a while, and continue another day.

(edit from current!me: ahhh oh my god I forgot this was pretty soon after we adopted Jackie! look at these cat pics that I took while I was food crime-ing!

look at them having their little interactions! Knuckles was trying so hard to be friends with her! I love them)

hello! two days later and we are ready to assemble the slawman. and my sibling has started referring to him as "frosty: attorney at slaw", so that's fun.

I've done a thing where, as these set, I flipped them around in the bowl so that hopefully they'd be more round. we'll see if they actually stay like this.

I have also made some decorations for him out of peppers, olives, and carrots!

let's build our boy

oh he's so heavy. and wobbly

no no no he almost fell over!!

okay. he's fine. but more skewers were needed.

and...okay. he is complete.

behold!

gaze upon my beautiful man!

(he is not structurally sound! he wobbles unsteadily as I rotate him! there are already cracks forming in the gelatin around where his arms are! don't worry about it!)

 now it's time to stab him

and...to devour him

this tastes like...a bland coleslaw? and not even that. it's just sort of a salty, cottage cheese-y cabbage. the ingredients don't combine to become something greater, they simply...sit there. like this.

and the texture is...mmm. it's not a jello kind of texture, but it is a bit squashy in a way that's mildly strange.

it's very creamy once it softens in your mouth.

...I don't like this!

and look! taking just that one chunk from him was enough to destabilize him entirely :(

RIP frosty. now I just have to see if I can eat all of you before you go bad.

(note from current!me: I could not.

 I ate maybe half of him over the course of many days, often adding other stuff to him to try to add some flavor: bacon, frozen peas, cheese, etc. but even with that, I just couldn't stomach him.

after a while I stuck what was left of him in the freezer, hoping that maybe I'd find the will to consume the rest of him some other day.

do you know what a frozen-and-then-thawed mixture of cabbage, cottage cheese, mayo, and gelatin looks and tastes like?

bad. the answer is: bad.

I threw him out pretty quickly after thawing him.

do not try this recipe at home)

[chloesimaginationthings]

Happy 1 year anniversary to FNAF ruin!!

[bi-writes]

mmmm ;) simon has got a special eye on single-mom!reader, doesn't he? (18+, lactation kink, daddy kink, breeding kink, dark content !!!!)

it's your first day back after maternity leave. you already look different, simon notices this immediately. the way you fill out your cargo pants--fuck, there's no way your arse has ever looked so fat. no way your thighs have ever been so plush--ngghhh...

fuck, you've never been prettier. motherhood suits you. your hair is longer. your eyes are a little brighter. and fuck, your tits look so heavy, can't keep his eyes off of them, can't fucking focus, fuck, fuck, fuck--

you look so cute patching him up. pouty bottom lip between your teeth as you string his lacerated skin back together with a practiced stitch, standing between his spread legs as he sits in a chair in your office. he nicked his shoulder real well in training today, and fuck, is he grateful for johnny's heavy hand because you're standing over him, and he has a front-row seat to the greatest view of his fucking life.

christ, they practically jiggle with every movement you make. you pop the cap off some disinfectant, and the little bounce of your chest makes him chub up immediately, and he doesn't trust the buckle of his belt anymore because you're so fucking hot. and god, it isn't fair, this isn't fair, you must be teasing him--because as he's staring shamelessly at your pretty, perky nipples, he notices the fabric of your shirt beginning to grow damp.

you notice his line of sight after you tie off his wound. you look down, gasping, your hands dropping your supplies to come up and cup your breasts and cover the wetness of your shirt.

"god--dammit," you breathe. you haven't gotten a chance to pump today, it's been so busy in the clinic, and god, they ache.

you're his sergeant. his pretty little soldier. he just wants to help you. he's just helping you, isn't he? that's what this is when he draws his big hands up, shifting your shirt until it nestles below your nursing bra. he's just helping you when he unlatches the strap with ease, drawing down the soft material and baring your tits for him, his eyes bulging when he sees how wet the skin is, how they glisten.

his mouth is so warm. it's the perfect relief after such a long day. his tongue is soft and careful, swirling in heated circles as he soothes the ache in the throbbing fat there. you're so wet--soaking your panties, you know you are, your hormones firing wildly as he pulls back, opening his mouth and catching just a dribble of the warm essence that leaks from one breast. finally, finally--fuck, he's so good at this, his mouth latching onto you again as he groans loudly. he's so sick, it's so fucking lewd, but god dammit, it's just what you need, you need this, you need this.

he likes you like this. he likes you fat around the hips and leaking from your tits and spilling sweetness into your panties. he needs to keep you this way. he needs to keep you pretty and aching and starving for the relief that he knows he can give you.

he doesn't care whose kid it is, he wants to keep you this way. he'd let johnny or gaz fuck you stupid after this if it meant plugging you up and making you full and beautiful and round again. he's never wanted kids anyway, he knows he probably shoots blanks, it's why you got pregnant so fast after he shut the door on your relationship and refused to open it again, isn't it?

nnghghhgh...

fuck, his pants are already shoved low, just enough that he can pull himself out. he's so heavy, balls so full and aching so badly, he's hardly slapping against his stomach. you slip your own trousers off, eager to get back into his lap, practiced pretty girl sinking down onto him and riding him for her life in the dark of her office.

he buries his face into your chest. they're bouncing every time you smack your hips back down against his, and he can't stop the noises he's making as he suckles your tits in his mouth and uses a firm grip on your ass to meet your thrusts with force. fuck, he'd forgotten what a nice cunt you had--he'd forgotten how nice and soft you are, how messy and wet you get, how whenever he fucks you, his entire pelvis is always soaked with the slick of you because you can never stop creaming on his cock.

"so big," you babble, just like you used to, and he grunts as he aims for that little spot inside of you that makes you cry. he wants to see those pretty tears falling down your face, but all it took this time was his tongue sucking on your achy nipples to make you pouty and sobbing.

fuck, you've always been good at taking him, you always were such a good girl, but now he's overwhelmed. your body is so different and yet the same, and he likes it so much more--fuck, there's so much to grab onto now, the smacking of your skin is loud, and you've always been such a wet girl, but now you're positively dripping. he grits his teeth as he looks down finally, watching the way you've wet his trousers, his boxers, your thighs, the goddamn chair. he can't wait to lay you down after this and put his head between your thighs, can't wait to get those tits back in his mouth and make you cry again and again and again and again--

yeah, yeah, yeah--fuck, fuck, fuck--

you collapse after he cums. whimpering, taking two of his fingers and fitting them into your mouth so you have something to suck on, something you always used to do for comfort. he hisses a little as he pulls out just a little, globs of cum dribbling onto the seat before he eases you back down again. you whine, clinging onto him, your eyes shutting as he shoves his cum practically into your stomach.

yeah, fuck--he's gonna make his little sergeants take you nice after this. he needs you to stay like this, needs to keep you fat and pretty and swollen. don't mind the chunky babies you'll have, he'll take care of you, sweetheart, he'll be the daddy that son of a bitch never gave you, yeah?

he grabs the phone nearest to him to check the time as you settle on wobbly legs into the seat next to him. it must be your phone, because there's a picture of a smiling baby as the background. his eyes flicker to yours, and when you catch his gaze, you swallow hard. there's a giant chubby baby you're holding in that picture.

with blond hair and dark eyes (;

[radioactive-yuri]

john bakes the team an apple pie one (1) time and it's so good that nobody knows what to do with themselves about it, because they were all prepared to bully him. so instead they just start calling him a tradwife

[auden-dahn]

"D-Don't worry about me! Focus on helping the little one, okay?" 🌠 panel redraw of @laikascomet

[heartorbit]

figure skating set right now please. thanks

[bigfatbreak]

Birds of a Feather previous / next

[eydilily]

took a stab at arcane style pearl and etho :J

this was supposed to be a quick(er) study but i ended up coloring it anyway !!! i personally prefer the original grayscale version over the colored ones (especially etho);;

[apostatefeverdream]

hello gay people dot com is anyone else going gently insane about the whole "We have retaken Skyhold from the demons that infested it, and there we've brought refugees from this onslaught. How fitting that the fortress that housed my people when we waged war against Corypheus should serve to once again protect the innocent from would-be gods." thing????

idk there's something about the image of the inquisitor back in skyhold after ten years. back in their chambers, the war room, the herald's rest. a decade on and somehow the odds feel even more impossible this time around and maybe that's ever so slightly because skyhold, once busy and bustling, simmering with zeal and pride, is now sitting dark and empty and sad. the skeleton crew that keep it do their best, dust and crumbling mortar are easily fixed, but nothing can dull the slow, steady ache of time and memory.

then skyhold once again floods with people - the noble, the common, warriors and mages and all other manner of folk - and this time, rather than spoiling for a fight, these people are terrified. most are injured, some are dying, all have lost everything. the grounds and great hall are once again fit to bursting, but skyhold remains so desperately, achingly sad. the rotunda is conspicuously empty. as is the library, the rookery, josephine's office, the training grounds, the undercroft. there are new advisors, of course, and the return of a few old friends, but they don't play wicked grace, don't eat together, don't sit and tell long stories into the small hours. the hearth in the inquisitor's room is never as warm as it used to be, the gardens are never as green.

everything is a pale imitation of what was, and the inquisitor, who once was the beating heart of it all, realises that skyhold can never be their home again.

something like that.

[tragedytells-tales]

Six characters MK's from LMK AU's to make fanart of, for enrichment and practice, final!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Possessed MK AU requested by: @sc6rl3t

New Past AU MK by: @lululocomo | Requested by: @estellardreams

Harbinger MK AU requested by: @milkywaypudding

Shadowpeach Bio Parents Second Star AU MK by: @kyri45 | Requested by: @writing-heiress & @goldentigereyemania

EPICTM Legendary AU MK by: @ducky-dawn47

If you requested something and I didn't do it/have a request in mind, then I'll likely draw it for round 2 or just for fun at some point!!

This is a list of summaries for every AU

Champion of Destiny:

MK got possessed long before his first fight with the Lady Bone Demon. A curse was whispered between those harsh words she sewed into his mind that day in Spider Queens lair. And what makes a better champion than a king or a warrior? Something absolute, something destined, someone crafted by a goddess herself.

A harbinger.

-

The New Past:

"After getting in the Pillar of Heaven, the cycle end and MK cannot go back home. With the help of Nuwa and the color stone, he was send to the next cycle so he could live a new life without the burden of being the harbinger of chaos.

MK, now fully a mystic monkey, arrived in this new cycle at the time of Journey to the West, but he have no idea at what point of the book he is! Is it during the pilgrimage? or way before?? he don't know for now, but he will soon know."

-

Nuwa's Path, True Meaning of Sacrifice:

With every beginning comes an end. Such is the world's cycle, written by the pen of a lone child. The little Harbinger awakens and is thrown into the end of the world. Powerful malicious demons roam a mortal world that has been abandoned by its heros, and the Harbinger fights to survive until he reaches his purpose. Or nearly dies to the Lady Bone Demon.

He finds sanctuary on Flower Fruit Mountain, where the Monkey King protects his kingdom from chaos. Even if it means adopting it 🥴

-

Shadowpeach Bio Parents Second Star:

After the events of last year, including becoming accidental fathers, fighting heaven, and figuring out parenting through personal development, Macaque and Wukong decide that it's time for their own take on Nuwa's idea. They're ready to create a kid by themselves, and MK gets a new sibling that he's definitely gonna ignore his parents for!

-

Legendary:

"A world where Wukong and Liu'er were separated very differently from Canon, and where Demonic and Celestial Courting is far more important to the Legend of the Monkie Kid.

Follow the Monkey Trio as they navigate a world of heartache, persecution, harassment, retribution, justice, and eventually...

Reunion."

[nenoname]

the shoulder angel and devil raccoon deleted scene

+ a potential reason why this scene was cut

[kacievvbbbb]

Also the fact that like Nani is pressured into giving up custody for Lilo because she doesn’t have insurance and can’t afford the hospital bill and she’s coerced into signing because then the state will cover it. I’m supposed to find that a heart warming moment when the social worker is showing that she cares about Nani and Lilo? Really? How is that not just financial coercion? How is that just not a criticism of the health care industry in America (that I’m sure they didn’t mean to do on purpose)

Also it’s so blatantly obvious how the writers of this movie have no idea why Nani sings Aloha 'Oe to Lilo the night she finds out she is going to be taken away. A YouTuber named Sideways, who analyzes music in film(and has done a whole video about how Disney’s live action remakes don’t work musically years before this) explained that scene so beautifully.

How the sond Aloha 'Oe was originally written by the Queen of Hawaii for the people of Hawaii after American Colonizers forced her to surrender the Islands. How she performed it as a last goodbye for the country that was being taken away from her. And that mirrors how Lilo is now being taken away from Nani by colonial forces (even tho Cobra Bubbles does mean well and sympathizes lilo is still being given into the care of the US government) and this is her subtle goodbye to her. And it’s fucking brilliant and you can tell that that scene was written by people that fucking care and know what the fuck kind of movie they are writing. The scene is solemn and is treated as such. Nani sings it as tho it were a lullaby and a final goodbye. It’s the first time the song is sang in the movie because the writers actually understand the gravity of it.

Instead what we get in the live action is lilo first singing it to Stitch randomly while doing (I think maybe the accompanying?) Hula because why the fuck not. And then a lifeless dark scene where Nani plays the ukulele and sings to her like the fact that she had just been coerced into giving up her sister wasn’t just treated like a good and final decision. Because, why the fuck not.

[floplinda]