#definitely gotta unlearn that shit

[gregmarriage]

incoherent post, as always <3

will always be funny that i made a post about literally unaliving myself, and it flopped 😂

[shesmore-shoebill]

braindump of additional smosh vs zombies thoughts after the final episode:

In general, @ the players. Everyone did SO fucking good, okay. All of them I think hit a perfect blend of committing to the characters, trying to make smart choices, but also not getting so attached to keeping their characters alive that they weren't willing to take big swings. Shayne, whose character died TWICE. Was definitely not too precious about keeping his character alive, but like. WOW Courtney Amanda and Spencer all really were unafraid to both try to give their characters growth and change while still leaning into character-appropriate moves.

Amanda especially did such a good fucking job of like. Making big swings that made sense. As Gracie's worms progressed, Amanda actively gave Gracie character growth and depth even while committing to the comedy and horror of the worm infections. Shes so unafraid of committing to the character both comedically and narratively, its a fucking gift.

And of course, Brodie's character being hilarious until the very end coupled with the sacrifice.....

It was VERY satisfying to see Savannah full of (justified) rage throughout the last episode. Aware that she's not being treated well, aware that she's saving everyone's asses and is hands down the most capable person there. And ANGRY about it.

But even when she is angry. She is loyal. She sees a worm under Gracie's skin and- walks away, but doesn't leave, doesn't reveal it. She recieves the key and rages about being left- but still chooses to go after her. She's furious, but still, goes to the research area to get Gracie the cure. She is furuous, she knows she deserves better, she knows how capable she is now. And still she chooses. Gracie. And if that's not wildly codependent pretty toxic vaguely homoerotic gay girlie bffism idk what is.

Also Savannah fucking COOL AS SHIT in this episode. Hello. Action hero shit. Evades the blue worms. Gets the cures. Cures HERSELF. Queen shit.

Gracie's aggressive dedication to her father was obvs played up for comedy but can be so compelling if taken seriously. She doesn't even know how to conceptualize disagreeing with him. She's sure he'll keep her safe and to an extent she's RIGHT. He will. But only her. And in this world that means something different. Unquestioningly trusting him, unquestionably listening to him means something more. Her father asks her to kill Brodie and she basically does. Because she loves Brodie but loves her father more.

(And then they get there, and her father asks her to get rid of Savannah and Gracie doesn't. She doesn't want to.

Actually that alone has me unwell, Gracie tries to kill Brodie at her dad's request and then draws the line at Savannah. yk? yk? yk?)

Its so compelling to have Gracie as a character understand empathy and sacrifice and start unlearning her selfishness in the same moments that she is being devoured by worms and losing her control and humanity. Its VERY compelling. She is finally trying to look inward a bit, and its when being devoured from the inside out. The scene of her in the bathroom, turned away from Brodie, telling him to leave while half her face writhes with worms. She is trying to be better and probably won't survive long enough to actually do it.

Its also very comedic of like. She got some worms that ate her brain a little bit and not only is she not that much worse off, shes actually better as a person. Character development brainworms. Its kind of hilarious.

Brodie's fascination with and love for and dedication to Gracie despite her being terrible to him generally and their relationship being so new was both hilarious and touching in the way of classic horror/apocalypse/action movies. He's at the top of the bunker going "Well i gotta go get my gf!!!!" and its toxic and hilarious and like. vaguely sweet in the tropey movie way. Same thing with the love confession. And same thing with the heroic sacrifice. It was ridiculous, hilarious, dramatic, sincere, and deeply genre-appropriate. Fantastic way to play a romance in this genre with character who are generally pretty unpleasant and are only getting an ounce of growth in, truly, the 11th hour.

And honestly I was obsessed with the dynamic at the end. It was really "Gracie, her boyfriend Brodie, and Gracie's Savannah". No questions about it. It didnt even feel like Savannah would have been thirdwheeling it was just . Of course. Brodie loves Gracie. Gracie loves Brodie. Savannah loves/is devoted to Gracie, until the end. Gracie loves/is dependent on Savannah. Until the end. Obsessed with this. Obsessed.

Gracie saying to Savannah: "thank you for saving my life." Savannah saying: "Anytime." wow.

I probably need to write a separate post about Savannah/Gracie if I want to take their dynamic seriously actually. Its so compelling.

Savannah and Gracie in a nearly-empty shuttle shooting towards the moon together while Earth succumbs to manmade worm apocalypse is not a happy ending, but it also felt so right for both the genre and these trashfires of protagonists. They were all a little self absorbed and rash and foolish. Going to the moon doesn't actually solve any of the issues. The world is still dying by worm. Gracie's father is furious. I don't think Savannah or Gracie know how to fly a ship, much less survive on one? Or the moon. They're probably fucked.

But in this kind of scenario that's as good of an ending as youll get. And if nothing else, wow what a win for codependent toxic yuri-ism. Gracie finally realizing how valuable Savannah is, how much she loves her friends and how valuable it is that they love her- loved her. Savannah coming into her own confidence and still choosing Gracie as her priority- but consciously making that choice. Alone in a shuttle to the moon while the world dies. fucked up. very fun. veeery fun.

[astrologanize]

april 2024 sun sign horoscope

aries sun: it's one of those months where whatever you have in mind...trash it! let life lead this month. there will be a lot happening so enjoy the ride

taurus sun: a big time for practical self-care as you slowly but surely get your shit together. don't get overly invested in anything this month because things will be redirected. you need to take any dissatisfaction in your life and let it inspire you to do what you need to so that you can improve your circumstances

gemini sun: some things are not going to go your way this month but they won't be too major, it'll be more like 'eh that sucks' and then you go about your day. there will be nostalgia happening and you will still be reminiscing on the things you're unwilling to let go of but ya gotta get out of the past and away from what you think something should be. try to have self-discipline and understand that new chapters happen when you're open to them

cancer sun: there will be setbacks and/or you will be voluntarily taking a step back this month and prioritizing emotional matters/close ones. there may be something you are entering into as a beginner this month or you may just be taking the backseat on something instead of feeling the need to steer. i'm seeing important conversations that have the potential to be healing, try to say what you truly want to say as considerately as possible - try to avoid mindlessly running off at the mouth

leo sun: aw, your month is pretty cute! you're going to need to lean on others this month, or you will be learning how important it is to have people in your life. your pride may try to get the better of you but don't let it, try to let your guard down and understand that you can't & shouldn't bear everything on your own. if life has been tough then know that you have people/can find people who are there for you. be a lil needy this month

virgo sun: hm you seem to be feeling like you're in the waiting area of something, it's like you are open to life and things are moving in a different direction for you but for whatever reason you aren't able or you feel like you aren't able to arrive at the destination yet. try to avoid feeling inhibited, allow yourself to indulge, take things softly, let things flow as they may

libra sun: ah, there will be opportunities for you to demonstrate lessons learned, so you will be catching yourself in situations where you're like 'hm i've been here before...what can i do this time so that i don't repeat a lesson'. have the confidence and assurance in your capabilities to adjust and choose better for yourself

scorpio sun: your head is down...mindin’ your business...no showboating here because there is a focus on job & work. there are insecurities and a low energy that you're going to be experiencing. you're in the process and unlearning something that wasn't serving you and that is hard for a scorpio to grapple with. seek out clarity, be comfortable with the feeling of unknowing-ness, and expect a mildly bumpy april

sagittarius sun: surprise, surprise, a sag is gonna have some luck and have a 'win' or 2 this month. there is a situation that is going to rule in your favor somehow and by the end of the month you're going to feel free of something. this is a time to ~stand on business~ so stay assured in your standards and plans

capricorn sun: i see you're feelin' yourself, there is a sense of preparedness, you're like 'okay yeah i got this'. you may be taking the lead on something this month and it seems that your plans are able to pan out but try not to get too ahead of yourself. you will definitely be getting things done but there is a need to take a step back & see the whole picture - step by step. you do got this! just pace yourself

aquarius sun: weird month...it's like you have awareness this month for what it is you want in your life and what works for you but you're going to be such a child about it tbh, like a demanding diva. you need to pay closer attention because you may overlook something(s), there are issues/feelings that you need to work through, you are going to have some keen expectations that may set you up for disappointment, you need to not dramatize situations and make things bigger than they are

pisces sun: i cannot emphasize enough how much discomfort this month holds for you - but that is where growth lies. you are not going to be thrilled, you are going to be out of your comfort zone in a very not fun way, it's like getting thrown out of the house and having to grow up real fast. whatever is going to be happening, you're going to want to have a breakdown and be erratic and just go balls to the wall about it, or just straight up flee and run away from it all - but let's not do that no matter how tempting. let it be, healthily detach and leave it alone. it could the inverse though, like getting rowdy at a bar and subsequently getting kicked out. either way you need to take a chill pill

[chewing-drywall]

METALOCALYPSE HEADCANNONS

(Part 1/??)

Buckle in yall this will be a long ass post

TOKI WARTOOTH

Earlyklok! Toki

-the most sincerely homophobic in the beginning. You don't just get raised the way he's been and not have some WILD ass beliefs about the world, he eventually unlearns it but being surrounded by dude bros who constantly call things gay as an insult and his tendency to take things litterally DONT help. And it's not like active hate or anything it's just getting raised that gay people are sinners and are gonna burn in hell is definitely a topic you gotta make an effort to unlearn.

-seeing two girls kissing on the streets of florida for the first time??? SHOCKED, litterally did a full head swivel to check if anyone else had seen it and imploded when no one seemed to be as surprised at he was

-Doesnt really even understand why the rest of the band likes casual sex so much, it feels good but at first he thought it was strange there were all of these girl fawning over a him, a technical stranger, and he just goes along with it.

- got his ears pierced about 4 months into earlyklok sitting on the ledge of their shared apartments crusty bathtub

they were all packed into the tiny bathroom, talking over eachother, the room thick with weed smoke, skwisgaar perched over him in the bathtub holding his head straight

pickles did it with a safety pin and an icecube, joint hanging off his lips as he squinted in concentration

Toki didn't flinch, didn't even stop talking to Nathan about the newest Cannibal corpse album that Nathan wanted to buy a cd of

He liked the feeling of skwisgaars hands engulfing his face, it was a touch that wasn't cruel. Plus knowing that the best guitarist he's ever heard in his whole life hands were soft was a fact that he's gonna ingrain into his head.

Murderface and Nathan actually looked mildly concerned at tokis complete lack of reaction

- the kid will offhandedly say really cryptic shit, through broken English and weird reactions to what they think is normal stuff. the band gets the gist that they'd have to be a hell of a lot drunker to handle his truth (toki: oh don't worry I'm used to the dark! :), everyone else:👀)

-got a lip piercing but didn't take care of it properly, so of course it got infected and had to be taken out

-this is when he starts age regressing but doesn't realize he's doing it,

-he'd watch a kids cartoon in complete silence until the season ends and it's the only way to keep him completely still and quiet

-is attracted to bright and colorful things even if it gets him made fun off by the guys, secretly LOVES Lisa frank art

Regular adult toki

-AUTISM AUTISM AUTISM

HATES tables that aren't clean, when it's noticeably sticky or there's crumbs that stick to his arms when he leans on the table

-same with the feeling of spilt beer, has gotten used to it over the years but the feeling of dried sticky beer still has his skin crawling

-has drunken bong water as a dare (all of them have as some point but still)

-has also smoked weed through his nose (again on a dare)!

-if you look really close into his eyes, his eyes go so light blue it looks pale yellow

-very very kind and pretty eyes, the downwards slope of them make him look sad with a neutral face

-LONG AND THICK EYELASHES

-works out mostly regularly to keep his shape, he gets too energetic for the others to handle so it's a good way to blow off some steam

-Likes the idea of wearing feminine stuff, skirts seem sooooo comfortable but doesn't wear them cause yknow the teasing would be absolutely relentless

-medium thickness chewed on lips, does it mindlessly

-knows hes capable of incredible violence, the band is also very aware and whenever he gets legitimately pissed off during a argument (like a genuine, seriously bad argument) they'll usually just back off and wait to bring it up later when toki doesn't look like he's three seconds away from curbstomping them

-FAT crush on Nathan but for some reason gets really shy around it??

-Nathan will compliment him and toki will deadass write with a fluffy pink huge glittery pink pen in an equally pink journal kicking his legs and giggling

*Nathan told me when I got that chord I kept fucking up correct that he could *see me improving* EEEEE he's soooo big He could throw me Like a football

-fond of murderface, knows people deal with their own shit in diffrent ways so he doesn't take his insults to heart (usually)

-relationship with skiwsgaar is. Weird.

I'll probably get into it on another post but it's SO complicated like. Were both emotionally constipated around eachother, our relationship used to be so kind and gentle skiwsgaar was tokis mentor and wanted to see him grow but has such anxeity around toki surpassing him he purposely beats him down; and toki doesn't have the work ethic or drive to truly get to thay level and it impedes the progress of the band. But engages with this weird rivalry thats also a form of love and respect like. Your the only one I could ever be worried about being better than me and I've watched you grow so much and I don't know how to express that properly YADDA YADDA YADDA

-loves pickles very much, he was the most welcoming in the beginning and always made a space for him at the table, later on a shoulder to cry on.

[thevalleyoftriumph]

One final ask before I head to bed

How does second meeting chosen go?

I’ve a hc that second simply comes to visit after showdown, to make sure chosen is alright, I’m curious what everyone’s thoughts is on that

He’s on beasts “yeah alright I trust him” list, but beast trusts him in combat, what about regular day to day things? Just hanging out? Eating sandwiches? That’s gotta be different right?

And chosen and killer, do they like him? Are they envious of him? Does one like him more than the other?

How quickly do they realise that uh. Second doesn’t remember how showdown ended. And who realises first?

Idk idk there’s a lot that can happen and I’m curious of your hc’s for it. Going to bed now. Goodnight

HEHE GOODNIGHT ANON!!! thank you dearly for the Even More questions <33 i hope you have a very nice sleep

as usual, responses are under the cut ^_^

1: How does second meeting chosen go?

Oh man okay. So like, if we don't count the brief meeting before the final fight, and then the little bow interaction after, then the two would've officially met sometime later I'd say? Somewhere between Showdown and Wanted for sure, I'm a sucker for the hollowheads actually interacting lol.

I'd say it'd be a very big "hey wait a minute what the hell are you doing here" moment at first, before Chosen just sorta resigns himself to the fact that Second is probably going to just keep dropping by to check in every once and a while whether he likes it or not [and if he's secretly fine with it because it's an excuse to actually clean up the house and keep the kitchen stocked instead of wallowing in his room all day well then that's his business and no one needs to know that damn it]

I think out of the three, Killer is actually the most trusting, and actually pretty fond of Second! Chosen is close behind, but he's got a healthy dose of respect for the guy after seeing them in action so there's a bit of "man you could totally kick my ass if you felt like it. That's cool I think. Please don't do that actually." in there lol. For the most part they like Second after a while, and warm up to them.

You'd be right to assume that it's definitely different with Beast though! Beasts little "trusted people" list can be pretty solidly split between "ally in combat" trust and "genuine everyday trust" , and while that does slightly spread to the others [ie, Chosen can respect and appreciate Second, but was a bit hesitant at first thanks to Literally Everything] it's mostly seen in Beast. Honestly if it saw Second again outside of a battle it'd probably briefly think "oh shit is something happening do I need to like. Attack someone. What's going on why're they here" and it'd take some time to unlearn that association with them.

Despite all this, though - despite eventually warming up, Chosen is shockingly the most hesitant to actually start liking them to any degree. Killer does the fastest, mostly because they're probably the only extroverted person there to match Second's energy, and Beast is next up solely because of previous reason to trust them, but Chosen?

Sure, he knows Second is on his side. He knows they're doing this to be a decent person and to be nice. He knows they literally saved him and their friends. But despite logically knowing that Second is [mostly] harmless, he cannot stop the instinctive fear that comes with the whole "watched this guy murk his best friend/brother like it was NOTHING" thing. It's not major, in comparison to a lot of things. It's not even enough to prevent him from interacting with Second, especially not in polite company. But it IS enough for him to be on edge for a while.

Though again, after a bit of time passes he does end up putting a lot of his real genuine trust into Second. They are the first person the three think to go to for help, after all. That is, at the very least, one thing they agree on.

To add on; I think Killer likes Second for their creativity, Chosen likes Second for their kindness and eagerness to help others, and Beast likes Second for their strength and their loyalty to their friends [mostly because it relates to the need to protect those it cares about.]

2: How quickly do they realise that uh. Second doesn’t remember how showdown ended. And who realises first?

I'm gonna be so honest it's either Killer or Beast who put two-and-two together first. Killer because any time they bring it up to ask Literally Anything, Second just kinda politely nods along with this confused look and they know damn well Second's just playing along and has no idea what they're on about. Killer is pretty observant when it comes to other sticks and their feelings [probably the only emotionally aware alter there lol]. Beast because, well, surely someone that powerful would be displaying that power as much as they can, right? Be it as intimidation to ward off anyone wishing to do them or their loved ones harm, or maybe just as a casual brag, or even just for stupid everyday tasks. Anything to use the power given, anything to acknowledge it and the things they've done. To Beast, the only way it makes sense that they wouldn't is if they didn't know.

Chosen finds out literally the day of Wanted just like in source simply because I think it's a little funny lol. He's got his suspicions before that but he mostly just brushes it off as like.. trauma blocking the memory Mostly out like how his own memories do.

So like, while I don't know the FULL amount of time between Showdown and Wanted, let's just for the sake of discussion say it was about ehhh a year or two. Not saying I think it did but just for timeline purposes - feel free to stretch this out or compress it depending on the time You Personally think was between it.

With this in mind; if Chosen finds out during Wanted two years after Showdown, then Killer and Beast probably realize at first that somethin' ain't right with Second over the course of 8 or 9 months after Showdown, and ACTUALLY figure it out 2months after the 1st year passes [or 14 months after Showdown if that's easier for you to visualize]. Compress or stretch that timeline as you see fit bc timelines in AVA are a mess lol, but regardless; Chosen's a little slow on the realization here because it'd be funny.

This next half of the post isn't in response to any question and is just misc. rambling about anything that comes to mind about these guys interacting because you got me Thinking-

-but I just like the idea of Second meeting Killer and Beast and Knowing That That's Happening. LIKE IDK I feel like they'd end up getting along individually after a while. Second would probably be a little perplexed at first before just going No that makes sense carry on ^_^

I also like the idea of Beast, having since decided that Second is worth trusting Personally [which would take a hell of a long time considering the last time it trusted someone outside of battle it ended with Dark dead [presumably] somewhere and new issues regarding bugs/spiders.] had taken one look at Second, and one look at the CG, and went "no absolutely not you cannot go out fighting things as self taught fighters your stances are WRONG your punches are WEAK and you are NOT PROTECTING YOUR MIDDLE. Get INTO the sparring room I am TEACHING YOU PROPER TECHNIQUE" lol. Very aggressive signing and glaring. Chosen and Killer are in full support of this but for different reasons [Chosen just prefers the people he knows to be safe and able to protect themselves, Killer is silently cataloging as much as they can about the others' fighting styles]

Anyway I just think Beast is so used to itself knowing how to properly fight AND Dark knowing how that when it sees self taught fighters who are half its size and used to video game mechanics vs actual living experience, it just short circuits and briefly forgets that it's supposed to be scary and intimidating and instead is like Okay I gotta fix that they're gonna get themselves killed and that's gonna be REALLY upsetting for us. It's like when people joke that they were in the middle of a breakdown and then someone says something so baffling that they just. Stop crying. It is the FUNNIEST thing to me.

[kariachi]

This is the fic I wanted to write. Hitting on Kev's mom's not-technically-canon-but-could-be-with-ease polyamory. Specifically Gwen asking after shit.

She has much to learn and unlearn.

~~

It came on what should have been a nice, relaxed afternoon, curled together on the couch in Kevin’s apartment. An easy quiet, enjoying a shared hobby in each other’s presence, with not a care in the world. With a million thoughts running rampant behind green eyes, no matter what their owner did to shut them up. Weeks upon hours worth knocking at the walls, begging for attention.

“Babe,” Gwen said, finally giving up on keeping her curiosity in check and setting aside her book, “I have a question.”

“Hm?” Resettling himself on the couch beneath her, Kevin shut his own and rested it on her back. “Shoot.”

For a moment Gwen lay silent, staring into the middle distance in front of his throat as she got her words together. If there was any lack of patience from Kevin, it was only shown with the drumming of fingers on his book.

“Remember when you and your stepdad…” There was no real way she was comfortable describing their confrontation outside her house. Probably it was for the best, as Kevin tensed at the memory.

“I remember,” he said curtly. “What about it?”

“He talked about how much your mom loved your dad,” she said slowly, each word deliberate, “and mentioned he married her when you were like, four?”

“Mm-hm. Mom’s still got pictures-” He gave a little laugh. “-I was fucking adorable.” Gwen couldn’t help a smile.

“I don’t doubt it.” He was adorable as it was. “I was just curious,” she asked, “because I thought you told me your dad died when you were five or, somewhere around there.”

“Five,” Kevin said with a small nod and a hint of roughness to his voice at the memory, “a few months after my birthday.” With a comforting murmur, she reached out to give his hair a stroke.

“So, your mom got married when you were four-”

“Mm-hm.”

“And your dad died when you were five-”

“Yep.”

“And Harvey said she loved your dad more than him?”

“Supposedly.” Kevin shrugged. “I can’t really remember, but according to everybody he was her favorite. Then again to hear people talk Dad was everybody’s favorite.” Gwen had to nod at that. Her own grandfather talked about the alien- when he talked about him- like he’d hung at least the stars, and the other Plumbers in the family had about fallen over themselves when they’d learned she was dating his kid.

“Okay,” she said, “so, how the fuck did that work?” She could see Kevin’s mom sleeping around, was the thing, but everything had been so, matter of fact. And she assumed it would have made it onto the long list of the woman’s faults her grandpa seemed to have memorized. Beneath her, Kevin blinked with a small frown.

“They dated, Harvey proposed,” he said like it was an obvious thing, and now that she knew how long the guy had been in his life her heart gave a twinge to hear him call him by his name, “she said yes, they got married?”

“I know that,” Gwen said, with a laugh despite herself, “I mean with your dad.” Kevin’s brow and nose crinkled.

“They dated, Dad wanted kids, Mom said sure, they had me?” She couldn’t help but feel, looking into those confused brown eyes, his words tumbling in her head, that they were talking passed each other.

“And these happened concurrently?” He raised a brow. “At the same time.”

“Yeah,” he said, again like it was obvious. “I mean, I don’t know who she met first but, Harvey was definitely a part of things by the time Dad clutched. There’s pictures of him, Mom, and me when I was a baby.” Gwen, supposed the numbers added up? Technically?

“And, they were cool?” Harvey had just been so plain with the fact that his wife had loved somebody else more than him. She couldn’t imagine it without something dark twisting in her gut, and so didn’t even try.

“Gotta assume,” Kevin said, relaxing back into the cushions. “Harvey never seemed to have any problem with anyone else she dated, and he never had a bad word about Dad. Plenty about me, but the worst he ever said about him was that he could have done better than Mom.” Laughing despite herself- she didn’t get along with her, but the idea the poor woman’s own husband had been telling her son she hadn’t been good enough for his dad- Gwen shook her head.

“And your dad?” He shrugged.

“Not that I know about. I mean, if he knew Harvey was gonna turn out to be a dick, figure he woulda done something in the five-odd years…”

“So, his girlfriend, who he was having kids with, brought another guy around, no issues?” That seemed like plenty enough reason to have problems to her. “Another guy raising his kid, no issues?”

“Babe, he didn’t even raise me when he had custody of me,” Kevin said, shaking his head. “Before Dad died I lived with him. Was all about as standard Ossy stuff as you can get outside a proper Pack.” Huh. That was something she’d never even considered. But then, so far that was just this whole conversation. New and more than a little confusing.

“And he dated your mom the whole time?” It wasn't entirely a question, but she was having to rewire things in her mind as the conversation progressed. With a quiet and bemused snort, Kevin rolled his eyes.

“Duh. Don’t think Mom’s seen less than two people at a time in my life.” Okay, that answered that then. Gwen raised a brow as she sorted everything in her head.

“‘Don’t think’?” Kevin shrugged again.

“I met a few, but she didn’t normally bring people around,” he said. “Fuck, think she’s seeing like, three? Right now? And I only know one of ‘em.”

“Hm?”

“Family friend from before we moved back east, nice guy. Apparently, he liked her forever and finally got himself to do something about it when she followed me out here.” Despite herself, Gwen couldn’t help a smirk.

“Are we sure you’re not his?”

“Very,” Kevin laughed. “We’re less sure that I’m Mom’s than Dad’s.” Shaking her head, Gwen heaved a sigh and draped her full weight over Kevin, cheek against his throat. There was no indication he even noticed the extra load.

She mulled in the comfortable silence that followed, even as Kevin went back to his book. His parents had been together from before his birth to his dad’s death. His mom and stepfather had been together since at least his infancy through to- she didn’t even know what exactly their status was now. Certainly, she’d never seen the man before or since the… incident. And she was dating now. But apparently she had been dating, had always dated, openly and actively. Something everyone was apparently cool with.

She hesitated to call it ‘weird’, but… But it went counter to everything she’d been taught in her life. From parents to teachers to books to television. She could practically hear, despite never having discussed it prior, her great-grandmother on the topic. ‘Even God had the decency to not intrude any further after knocking up Mary.’ Everything she had encountered prior to this that had touched on the topic of having two relationships at once had, with a big red stamp, marked it as a horrible betrayal, one of the worst things you could do to someone you supposedly loved. But, by all accounts Harvey had been cool. By all accounts Kevin’s dad had been cool. Kevin, who she knew from experience was an absolute labrador of a partner, was cool.

Something twisted rough in her gut at the fact he clearly saw it as normal.

“I’m not sharing you,” she said without a second or to be honest even a first thought. Kevin just idly dropped a hand to card through her hair.

“Ya know, I kinda figured that out.”

[maxellminidisc]

I think we can definitely have a conversation on how the sort of woobification and frankly reduction of autism and adhd is a bit of an issue or how so much certain issues of identity in the LGBT community can lead to some never ending discourse because of how reductive they can also be that leaves very little energy for tackling the material issues the community faces and makes it a bit more confusing for someone to find answers. But I don't think the solution to that is labeling every confused or lost individual as a poser or an imposter. Especially when you run the risk of alienating people who very much are part of either community, they're just like getting the message in a very very confusing and again, reductive format.

Like there have been many times I disagree with terminology or identity discourse on here but it's never made me feel like "Well this person isn't really trans or gay if they're saying stupid shit like this". They're still very much part of the community I just think they're missing the forest for the trees when we could be directing our energies on more pressing matters. They're still very much my siblings they just make my eye twitch a bit, I'm still going to defend them if they're facing homophobia or transphobia.

Plus I see the surge in self identification with neurodivergency as being for 2 reasons: 1) people finding the information they've actually needed and who are genuinely neurodivergent and now have community and they're just having a laugh now or 2) a sign that life has become so fucking unbearable and unlivable under capitalism that even neurotypical people are starting to navigate the world in such a way that they're having to experience levels of anxiety and depression that its causing IMMENSE dysfunction that they can see no other reason for why they're feeling the way they are and they NEED a reason, some explanation for that inability to overcome "dysfunction".

I dont necessarily think the later is great, especially when some people in the later group use these conversations to be ableist to neurodivergent folks especially those who are autistic with a higher need for assistance, or people with often under looked neurodiversity (and lbr here, even neurodivergent folks with a lower need for help and assistance do this). But when people are otherwise confused and just talking about their supposed hyper fixations or whatever, I have a degree of empathy if that makes sense? Like idk I just think throwing out the baby with the bath water is not the solution, I think we gotta wade the water and find the baby even if it's more work lol IDDK

The only thing I find imperative about some of these conversations is calling out when these channels are being used to be ableist, often transmisogynist, lesbophobic, etc. But I dont think it gives us the right to say certain people arent really gay or trans or autistic because of these biases or misconceptions about certain terminology or neurodivergency. If that was the case like most of us wouldnt be real anything because biases are things that have to be unlearned and most of us do have them even among each other in these communities.

[wearequeer-andwearehere]

Okay... SO- I started to question my gender recently because of this one singer/actor who's very obviously masc (except for recently when he started dressing a bit femme but he still looks masc) and I've always wanted to have hair and eyes like his but recently I've also wanted his (again, masc) voice and facial structure. And like... I've used he/him pronouns before, but I always told myself that it's because I want to help trans and nb people by doing my part in normalising using different pronouns, not because I AM trans/nb. And like... I prefer loose clothes and short hair, but I always told myself it's because I'm queer and want to look queer. Anyways sorry for rambling

Don’t apologise. I’m hear to listen and help.

First off, it seems like you gotta unlearn some shit. Being trans is okay. Drill that into your head. Being trans is completely okay. And it’s okay if you’re trans. That is a possibility. You need to grasp that concept, I think. Being trans isn’t only for other people, for characters and friends and some far away distant thing, it is close and real and you can grasp it. You can be trans.

And I think you’re focusing more on finding something definitive. You’ve gone through all this uncertainty and now you want something solid. But it’s gonna take a while. In the mean time learn to live with it. You don’t know who you are, and that’s okay.

In the mean time, stop asking yourself “what gender am I?” and start asking “what makes me happy?”

What makes you happy?

Does they/them or he/him make you happy? Use it! Does masculinity make you happy? Be masculine! Do lose clothes make you happy? Wear lose clothes!

Be HAPPY!! That is all that matters!! Use the pronouns that make you happy dress in a way that makes you happy be the gender that makes you happy and everything will fall into place, or maybe it won’t, and that’s okay too bc being urself and being happy is what matters.

Added disclaimer of course, make sure to be safe, if you are in a transphobic area or depend on transphobes for financial support etc.

But like…you can be a dude if you want to, you know? Like that’s a thing you can just Do. You can legit jsut go what’s up, I’m a guy, and BAM!!

You can try it out for a bit, if you like. Genders are like. Comfy sweaters!! Try on different ones for a few days or so and see how you feel til you find one that’s comfy and fits.

Wake up brush your teeth look in the mirror say “Im a dude” and just. Don’t panick about it don’t overthink it just live with it, feel it in the back of your mind as you go to school do chores laugh with friends. See how it feels.

You can hold your heart in your fist or you can be afraid. Transness is not foreign, it is real and close to you as the soil beneath your feet and the blood in your veins. You can be trans, and if you are, that’s completely okay. Try it out. Be happy. Do what brings you joy, and everything will fall into place. You could be a masc or gnc woman or nonbinary, or you could be a dude. It’s okay whatever happens. Be happy.

[fenrisisms]

okay okay okay i’m gonna say 💕 and 👌🏻 but specifically for riva/cullen with leah & marlowe!!

mwah mwah sending u many air kisses thank u for the ask.... i am mostly gonna be focusing on riva because we both know how cullen is but <3 he gets mentions

💕 thoughts on parenting/being a parent?

i feel like cullen's gotta have some kind of complex about it right. like the templars have to give you a complex about it considering the whole marriage and kids thing is frowned upon. i feel like there's gotta be some Complex there bc when does this man Not have a complex

as for riva i truly don't know that he put a lot of thought into parenting/being a parent before like. the immediate reality that he would become one lmfao. like he's definitely heard enough stories to kind of inform An Attitude around parenting (if you're going to bring life into this world you should be prepared to love and nurture it no matter the cost) but i think he's also seen enough to know that the idea of what is best for your child is muddier waters than it would seem on the surface and that what it means to love someone and what it means to nurture someone varies from person to person and that makes parenting much much messier. i mean he travelled with alistair and morrigan aka mommy issues: the people like.

👌 do they think they are/would be a good parent?

i mean it's cullen he could hang stars in the sky for his child and he'd still find a way to do mental gymnastics to make himself a bad parent in his own eyes we all know he is forever and ever stressing about being a good dad

on the other hand riva's great hubris is he believes with 100% conviction he can BECOME good at anything and he is historically good with kids so i think he would believe with full sincerity that he could be a good parent, but as soon as it became an impending reality and not just a hypothetical question then he'd kind of have a mini crisis because he's forced to confront the fact that he doesn't actually know what it is to be a parent because he doesn't have a singular healthy parental figure to his name. like his biological parents abandoned him and all of his adoptive parental figures have kind of fallen from grace and he's spent over ten years trying to unlearn some of the nastier habits that he adopted in order to survive so i think he'd have to be like huh! i cannot pass that on to my kids so wtf do i do. and then he remembers like 80% of his friends have shit parents so he's like oh okay so i just make a list of what NOT to do and work backward from there. crisis over. and ofc he goes through all of that without saying a thing to ANYBODY because he'd rather swallow his left hand whole than have a vulnerable conversation about his emotions

i also decided while writing this that i think he actually marks isolde guerrin on the potential good role models list for the whole connor thing because i have realized some parallels and i think he is for personal reasons extremely sympathetic to her in that regard which is an interesting little character tidbit i will be devouring whole for 3-4 business days so thank u for uncovering that with this ask <3

[thesnipingnerd-blog]

While I'm not 100% sure about committing to voice training, I do definitely think I gotta unlearn hiding my accent now that I'm actually living as an adult and shit

Like it's not even that thick or anything, hell you'd think growing up in a fairly southern state most of my life i wouldn't get made fun of for having a drawl to speaking but here we are, 21 years old and pushing my deep subconscious desire to sound like an old ranch-hand down so far that I occasionally loop back around to sounding like I'm from fuckin Boston, MA.

[the-stray-liger]

I gotta know, what are your opinions on Guel Jeturk so far? Cuz like... Twitter is NOT a good place to discuss this guy at all.

You have a dude who's struggling under the weight of the expectations given to someone in his position, and is desperate for his father's approval. Only now he's starting to realize that his jackass of a father's love is very much conditional, and then Guel is given unconditional support from the last person he'd ever expect; from Suletta Mercury, the girl who had defeated him and ended his previously unbroken winning streak. She defends him from his peers who had been ridiculing him and telling him to discard his pride and cheat his way to victory, who encourages him to stay true to his convictions in her own way, and even when he loses to her a second time, she honestly praises him for his skills. It's easy to see how he could fall for her in that moment.

But then, the same guy is subject to humiliation YET AGAIN after jumping the gun with his Wacky Marriage Proposal to Suletta, who had now beaten him a second time, when he realizes "oh fuck she's freaking out" and tries to walk back his wacky proposal... only for Suletta to fly off in her Mobile Suit and once more humiliates him in front of the entire student body. So like... yeah, it sucks to see him backsliding into his shitty attitude from the first episode, but at the same time, it does makes sense that he's salty as fuck, and leaning hard into the Tsuntsun side of the Tsundere spectrum after Suletta unintentionally humiliated him again. At the very least, he stuck to the terms of the duel and apologized to Miorine for what he did, even though he could have just as easily welched on the promise he made because of Suletta humiliating him and hurting his feelings, like one might expect of a shittier person.

I don't think he genuinely hates her, but he's definitely got a long way to go before he unlearns a lot of his shitty behavior and adjusts his attitude for the better.

MAN I've been waitiing all day to be able to open my laptop and get into this ask omg

So far I actually like Guel. You put the reasons in writing so much better than I could! I was afraid he was gonna turn out a solid brick of shit like Jerid, but fortunately we dodged that bullet.

I was afraid of a couple of things going into GWitch related to Guel, and one was that he wouldn't apologize to Miorine or do any kind of development and have the writers still expect to sympathize with him, but I was incredibly satisfied with how it all went: Suletta got to him in the end, he refused to be nothing but his dad tool (which is great bc like. Both Guel and Miorine's dad do that and this anime is coming strong with the theme of agency) and lost to Suletta after a fair fight. And then he flew a bit off the rails by proposing to her, which Im not gonna lie was super funny. My man Guel just went full Patrick Colasour it was delightful

BUT he also actually apologized to Miorine!!! He respected the rules of the duel and apologized to her!!! I loved that!!! and it was a genuine apology!

Of course he's not perfect and he has a LOT of stuff to work through. He clearly has been a shithead at school for ages and probably has a lot of prejudice, plus probably trauma from having a shitty dad, but I actually like the direction where he's headed. I think he's a good character and I want to see how he grows.

Im sorry if none of this makes sense I spent the whole day in a special training for work with no breaks and my brain feels like burned popcorn

[gendervesp]

Disconnected rambling about individual/community reactions to posts that criticize inter/intracommunity behaviour. Particular to queer spaces but most definitely applicable elsewhere.

When it comes to serious or meme posts that point to a genuine issue within a subsection of the community, or in general, (ex. Posts poking at how transmasc spaces treat transfems, or posts about how there's still misogyny/racism/ableism/... in queer spaces etc. The types of posts you see a hundred arguments of "we're not all like that" underneath), there's like two concepts based around how you respond to these posts that absolutely should coexist and be remembered before typing wars about how "erm ur being rude, we aren't like this at all" start. Cause it's very annoying to see people become brick walls who yell at others for "being divisive" when they're pointing out the shitty behaviour they have to endure in a supposedly safe community.

1. If we feel personally attacked by a post, meme or not, that points to a flaw within a community we share: why? What's so personal about shitty behaviour being called out? Do we feel like it's targeting us? If so, it probably is. But it's targeting our behaviour. Because it's behaviour that clearly is hurting people, we just might not realize it. None of us become fully progressive and null of ingrained bias solely by virtue of being queer - its a process we unlearn day by day. Especially with intersections across other communities. It's common to react negatively to us being in the line of fire for criticism, even when it's deserved, because it's difficult to withstand. But we have to pause before we jump to reckless defend ourselves and start a fight - we gotta sit with it and see how we ought to change to improve. If you feel personally attacked in the sense of "I don't like our community being labelled as such when I, and my friends, don't do this" please see point 2.

2. If you don't feel personally attacked, that's great but it doesn't automatically mean there's no relation to the criticism. We gotta stop with this mindset of "see, this clearly doesn't apply to me so I can ignore it". Maybe we don't explicitly engage in the issue, but implicitly or subconsciously perpetuate it. Keep the post as a reminder to check in with ourselves. And maybe also because even if we truly have unlearned/relearned the issue or whatever, that doesn't mean the rest of the space is issue-free. Keep the post as a reminder of a voice to uplift when we see our fellow community members cross lines and cause harm. Making our spaces and subsects actually safe and healthy is a group effort. We all got a role to play.

.

Either way we gotta stop coming with teeth the first sign someone is critically speaking about inter/intracommunity dynamics. It takes a lot of courage for people to speak about their experiences and issues within supposed safe spaces because the idea that it is "safe" makes it seem like objections to that are faulty, or not of actual concern. Or are subject to dismissal, anger, and shunning.

These posts, even the memey ones that mock the issue crudely as a means to cope and find solace in the isolation of having your own community shit on you, comes from a vulnerability that needs to be heard out first and foremost.

Again, we are not perfect by virtue of being queer or making cheap validity posts about how we support everyone. Actions speak louder. The words we utter outside of explicit declarations of unconditional support for people speak louder. The ideas and people and words and actions we either support or sit by and let pass speak louder. Community entails constant learning, growth, and facing our deepest flaws and cognitive dissonance between our understood morals and how we act towards others.

There's a lot more to this stuff because it's been on my mind for a while but, again, disconnected rn and not cohesive. I just wanted to write down the 2 things I feel are important to recognize when it comes to how people respond to critical posts. Especially since unfortunately tumblr has a reputation for being a hotspot for this type of stuff. I come mostly from instagram nowadays, from spaces where I really see the impact and reflections of people speaking about their negative experiences within the trans/queer community and then getting dogpiled by people who undermine their voices, insult them, claim it's bs and they're "being divisive", pulling a "not all ___" card etc etc etc. Like c'mon. The main thing dividing me from the community is this weird phenomenon where emotional maturity in the face of criticism is non-existent and its fair game to pull out all the punches whenever anyone speaks about issues like this. I prefer communities that can handle criticism and calls for growth and change..

[trans-leek-cookie]

wanted to say i appreciate u taking the time to engage w my asks nd share ur thoughts, i do like to read these kinds of discussions on here. i will say i was being a coward and using evasive language wrt kui’s writing (even though on anon) bc i didnt want to come in as an opinionated rando in ur inbox but since youve expressed ur opinion i wanna say that i agree that it is honestly real disappointing that kui wrote the orcs that way. i see so often the argument that her writing is heavily influenced by the uhhh Founding Fathers of high fantasy (tolkien like u mentioned) as if that excuses it but it is so fcking annoying seeing the same exact racist anti indigenous take on orcs recycled and reused as if it has to be this way. like why r we perpetuating actual racist dogshit when its Fantasy which means we can literally make up whatever we want. ik why but its annoying. and i get how ppl tout dumeshi as being a cut above whats usually popular on social media but this series is still egregious w the way certain things are portrayed and itd be yknow nice if ppl more readily acknowledged (or even recognized) its flaws. anyway thx again was neat reading ur thoughts. have a good week 💟

yea I get it. I think it's smthn most ppl, esp ppl of color who aren't subject to antiblackness, colorism, and similar issues have to be careful with bc we need to not speak over the ppl who are really affected by the stuff but at the same time it's not something we can ignore- it comes down to finding and boosting other ppls voices and not letting these kinds of things go unchecked without overreaching.

It's really smthn like. At some point you just have to bite the bullet and stop trying to justify the authors bad decisions- and I think it helps to remember that morality and quality aren't inherently connected- though morality will definitely affect how things appeal to you (like if I learn an author has shitty views, that's gonna be in the back of my mind when I read their work- nothing about their writing has changed, just how you perceived it)

It's really like. The phrase that comes to mind is "kill your darlings", and while that's a different Thing, i feel like the core idea is similar? In that sometimes you have to get rid of a part of your creation that you're attached to but doesn't help your overall work. Like, at some point you have to say "I enjoy how this writer crafts characters and plot, but they still have a lot of racist ideas they need to unlearn" (esp when it seems like theyre in the process of unlearning racist shit- it's not something you can ever be really done with, so you need ppl to understand that theres always progress to b made).

Dungeon Meshi is good, but we gotta acknowledge the flaws or they're just going to be reproduced in future works and that fucking sucks

[ff-imagines]

Can i request some nsfw headcanons for mantis shrimp? I read through your blog and let me just say: I'm a big fan. Btw if you dont wanna do them thats fine as well

Salt and pepper shrimp: nsfw alphabet

I did the whole alphabet bc? Why not! Side note I rly wanna write a fic going off my thoughts ab his experience level >:)

A - aftercare

Look, getting him to release you from his hold to go to the bathroom on a regular night is a battle enough. After sex? Phew I wish you luck. Might wanna just put some water on your night stand beforehand. You would be able to convince him to take a bath with you pretty easily though, he likes how the warm water feels very much. Make sure to cuddle him in the bath still, he's in a very vulnerable state right now and he really needs some good old tlc.

B- body parts

he’s got a weird fixation with your hands. He likes to compare hand sizes, whether your hands are bigger or smaller isn’t what he likes, he just likes to admire them. He loves sucking/biting your fingers while he’s got you in his lap. Lacing your fingers with his with one hand while bringing the other to his cheek, nuzzling into your hand while he bounces you on his cock.

On himself, there is tragically little that he genuinely likes. He views himself as a weapon, getting him to unlearn that will not be an easy process, trust me, Boston has tried. Complimenting his eyes does seem to make him a little more flustered than other praises, and he has a hard time staring you in the eye during sex…. maybe we can start there.

C - cum

His cum is pretty thin but there’s a shit ton of it. Enough that if he cums inside you swear you can feel the warmth as his cock pours rope and rope of his seed into you.

He doesn’t actually care where he cums, just ask him and he’ll comply.

inside you? sounds good.

On your back? Say less.

On the floor? You’re cleaning it, but sure.

He did discover he’s got an affinity for watching his cum on your tongue. I don’t know how you’d be able to swallow it all, but any attempt you make will be met with shrimp getting hard all over again.

D - dirty secret

He secretly thinks it’d be really hot for you to dom him. It’s gonna take a very long time before he’s comfortable letting you have that Linda control over him, just the thought of being tied up, hands behind his back while you praise him for being such a good boy, its a fantasy he’s visited on many sleepless nights.

E - experience

Nope. Nada. To be frank, I think he’s the definition of Demisexual, and he has yet to meet anyone besides Boston and the anti-human gang who he genuinely wants to get to know better. He definitely hasn’t met anyone who wants to get to know better for romantic reasons.

He doesn’t know enough about human customs to know that it can be embarrassing for someone to be inexperienced, but he does feel very very nervous the first few times. He’ll need a lot of reassurance, give him praise and he’s putty in your hands.

F - favorite position

I'm gonna be boring and say missionary. It’s simple, easy, and since he’s brand new to all of this it’s the least mentally overstimulating. He very much likes that he can see your face.

If he’s feeling extra spicy he might grab onto the inside of your knees and push you into the mating press, though he really only does this if he’s upset or jealous.

If you ask nicely he might let you sit in his lap, as a treat. Bouncing on his cock as he litters your chest with bite marks, what a treat it is <3

G - goofy

…. yea for sure definitely. He’s a real jokester.

On a serious note, he himself is not a goofy person whatsoever, but he would actually like it if you were. Outright making fun of him or harsh teasing is an immediate turn off, but light jokes to ease his nerves is for sure welcomed since he’s very tense the first few times.

Give him time and you might even catch him cracking a small joke himself, all the while giving you a weak, nervous smile.

H- hair

He doesn’t trim or shave anything lmao. He’s busy, and also doesn’t care literally at all. He’s got a thin happy trail that can be easy to miss since he's blonde.

He’s got the same energy with your body hair, he doesn’t care. If you do shave he might ask why, just out of curiosity. If your reason is insecurity, he’ll probably suggest you let it grow, he doesn’t care and he’s the only one who’ll ever see it lmao

I- intimacy

It’s an awkward “i hope to fuck I’m doing this right” kind of intimacy. He fumbles and messes up a lot, he might even accidentally miss when thrusting and end up just kinda rubbing himself on you but he’s really trying. Just from the fact he’s willing to try this at all with you is a big sign that he’s really trying his best to be as intimate as he can with you.

J- jerk off

Before meeting you, not a lot actually. He mostly just did it if he ever woke up from a wet dream and knew that if he didn’t take care of it now he’d never be able to get back to sleep.

After your first time together, his first time, he thinks back the immeasurable pleasure a lot, finding himself in need of relief a lot more than he ever did before. You are the catalyst to his drive, and you are also the only thing he can think about that can help him cum. It’s kinda sweet in a perverted way.

K- Kinks

He will bite you. It’s just so easy to bruise you and it makes your relationship status to others so obvious, he can’t just… not bite you.

Marking, going along with the biting kink. This goes both ways, he’d love for you to scratch at his back enough to leave red marks, to bite as his collarbone, grip his hips tight enough to bruise. He likes looking at the marks later, they remind him that he did good, he made you feel good, that’s all he really wants.

He doesn’t exactly have a breeding kink as much as this goes along with the marking aspect. Suggest to him that he cum deep inside you to mark your insides… he might give you 2-3 loads just to make sure you're nice and full, completely claimed.

He also kinda likes to make you cry. Overstimulating you to the point of tears gives him a sense of pride he hasn’t really felt before.

He really likes temperature play as well, dragging ice cubes and hot wax across your skin and watching you flinch and squirm just does something to him.

And of course, light bondage. He probably found out it was a thing after reading some kinda erotic fiction and immediately went to you like “why did you not tell me about this?????” He adores how to look all tied up and stuck, right in the palm of his hands. It makes him feel emotional as well, that you’re willing to give him such a powerful amount of control over you.

Last but not least, please praise him. During sex as well as day to day. Let him know he’s so pretty, he’s doing so good, he’s cock feels so so good, he might cum on the spot.

L- location

The first time he’d really need it to be in a secluded, safe area. He’s gotta feel comfy if he’s gonna get into the mood.

Every other time? Babes you’ve awakened a beast, he’ll get random spikes of “if I don’t at least try to fuck them I will scream”. You could be in the middle of a forest running from an axe wielding murderer and this horny bastard would still find a way to pull you aside and rail you against a tree.

There most likely isn’t a spot in your home that he hasn’t fucked you against.

Peaceful moment of washing dishes? Think again, he’s plopping you on the kitchen counter and diving to mouth at your neck.

Writing some papers? Just sit on his lap, you’ll feel much less stressed with his cock buried to the hilt, won’t you?

Doing laundry? Might have to rewash them cause now he’s using the clothes as a bed to fuck you on. He’ll apologize and help you fold them after they’re rewashed bc he feels bad lmao

M- motivation

Like I said, he’s set off by the smallest things. A little stretch, wiping some water off on your pants, humming a song, all of it can randomly make him feel the need to fuck you.

The most intense and quickest way to rile him up is either playing with his hair, or massaging his back. It starts out innocent but he just can’t take the thought of your pretty hands working so lovingly and not at least trying to reciprocate and make you feel good too.

N- no

No sharing. He doesn’t want someone else to see you, and he doesn’t want someone else to see him. It’s just not something he likes.

He also hates humiliation. He… would tolerate it if you asked for it, even if he doesn’t get why you’d want him to outright insult you. But for himself? Fuck no, he hates it so fuckin much. He’s a sensitive insecure puppy that wants your attention very badly, pls don’t hurt him like that :(

O- oral

Oh please give him oral. He’s begging. Well, he’d never outright beg but the way his eyes fixate on your mouth a lot is his way of silently pleading for you to wrap your lips around his cock. His soul ascends a little every time he sees his cum dribbling down your face, he might be even willing to make out with his cum still on your tongue.

As for giving, he’s got no clue what the hell he’s doing but he’s nervously eager to try. Guide him as best you can, he’s good at measuring your reactions so he can handle the rest. Tug on his hair a little bit if you wanna drive him crazy.

He’ll get a lot better with time, his eagerness to please however, does not leave him in the slightest.

P- pace

The first time? Slow and unsure, then he realizes “oh fuck this feels stupid good” and his pace becomes almost punishing. He doesn’t really know what he’s doing, he’s unknowingly going deeper and harder than you've ever been dicked down in your life. If you want him to, somehow, go harder? Grab his hand and place it over your stomach to make him feel his cock enter you through your skin, his hand slides down to grip your hips and slams into you, wiggling his hips without withdrawing to gain some of his sanity back before he’s back to a punishing pace.

Q- quickies

Oh hell yea. He lives for them. Sudden moments of horniness come to him all the time and since this spike in desire is brand new, he hasn’t really… learned to live with it yet. He pulls you aside into closets and alleyways all the time, he can’t help that you feel so warm and snug :(

R- risk

He doesn’t exactly enjoy the thought of a voyeur, he really doesn’t want to share you with anyone. But… there is a deeper part of him that finds a sense of pride if someone were to hear you getting absolutely pounded by him, desperately crying out and whining for him to go deeper, even better if they were someone who pined for you….

S- stamina

Well, to be frank he cums pretty quickly. It’s all so brand new to him, he really can’t help it. Lucky for you, his refractory time is crazy low. He can cum once, watch you do some mindless motion you always do and he’s right back to being hard again in minutes.

T- toys

Not against it, but is again, brand new to all this shit. He’s very interested in using your own toys against you though. Would definetly use a vibrater to edge and overstim you. He’d be interested in a cock ring, only if you were willing to endure a vibrator while he fucks you, he doesn’t wanna be the only one struggling lmao

U- unfair

He can be, yea. He kinda likes edging you, but not as much as he likes overstimulating you.

He loves to hear how you beg under him when he’s pulling you so close to the edge, keeping you just far enough to drive you insane.

Overstimming though? The way you twitch and beg, how your chest heaves and your mouth hangs open into a silent scream, eyes shut tight and watering, now that’s the good shit.

V- volume

Doesn’t talk much, but for sure gives out a lot of groans. This is something he’s never felt before in his life, the first few times you're going to get a lot of whines and surprised yelps, check up on him and make sure he’s still doing alright, he’s just very nervous.

As he gets more comfortable, he gives you quiet praises and promises to make you feel good. He also groans quite a lot, but since his voice is deeper it can be hard to catch.

W- wild card

He really wants to try using his prosthetic arm for temperature play, he’s just not at all confident in himself enough to bring it up. He likes the thought of you jumping and squirming under his touch, for now he can just stick to wax play.

X- X Ray

Mans is actually pretty fuckin big. He’s got no idea how big he is though. If you were surprised and a little nervous about his size he’d be pretty confused, is there something wrong? Did you change your mind? The concept of him being well above average is something you’ll have to explain later. It boosts his ego quite bit, even if he’d never admit it.

Whine about him being too big and you can just see the pride swelling in his chest, giving you no mercy with his thrusts.

Y- yearning

Often. Very very often. He’d fuck you multiple times every day if he had the time. However, you’re both busy, and you’d probably get a UTI with how many times this man wants to dick you down lmao. He’s got his cock buried in you at least 4-5 times a week.

Z- zzz

Actually pretty quickly. Even if he prefers being in control during sex, he kinda likes being the little spoon as he drifts to sleep. Give him some soft praises about how well he did and he’s turning into jello in your hold.

[surveillance-0011]

TBOI Headcanons: Horsemen

Death

He/him

He’s...nice. Not a good person by any means but he’s the most polite of the bunch. Kind of strange though. Creepily calm, a bit sarcastic, and he has a pretty morbid view on the world.

Reserved and usually grumpy. He can be rather chipper off-duty, though. Putting up with the others takes a lot of energy from him.

Tired....

A bit neurotic but good at coming off as a down-to-earth guy.

He’s the most book-smart of the bunch and he’s fairly wise. A bit emotionally stunted, but he tries his best to be mature and make the right choices.

Death is more than a bit nihilistic and pessimistic. He has a hard time just... caring, mostly about himself.

Not to say he’s completely apathetic, he can be pretty empathetic but he tries not to act on that too much because if he did his job would have broken him by now.

He likes to think he’s got it all under control, but he does not. He’s more prone to pettiness and stupid decisions than he’d like to admit.

That being said he’s been pretty good with like. Growing and maturing though. He’s changed more than he realizes in just in the past.... decade or so ago. A bit of a late start for an immortal but hey at least he’s slightly less of a scumbag.

It’s usually not easy to anger him unless he’s really tired or something’s already set him off. When something does piss him off badly he’s a bit prone to freaking out. He’s not very good at handling his emotions. 

Sees his own job as a necessary evil, because hey, someone’s gotta do it.

Interested in botany/gardening, as well as literature.

Genuinely nice- or at least polite- to the kids when he’s not supposed to be murdering them. He sees no reason to go out of his way to do so, especially since unwarranted cruelty towards others has only bit him in the ass.

Famine’s older brother. The two have always had each other’s backs.

Diligent, and always considers the logistics to things instead of acting on emotion alone.

Protective of the other horsemen.

Pretty short tbh

His horse’s name is Chili.

Famine

She/he (bigender). You can use both interchangeably or only use one set, she doesn’t care. Fine with they/them too but it’s never really clicked w/ him enough to be preferred.

Usually prefers more masculine terms (brother, sir, mr...) but fine with anything.

.Flips between bouncing off the walls and having no energy whatsoever.

Impulsive, she’s got terrible judgement and has the most idiotic of ideas sometimes.

Fairly easygoing, tries to forgive and forget and doesn’t let little transgressions get to her

Actually pretty damn sad. Needs some self care but never looks after herself.

I mean she’s optimistic and usually happy but like. There’s always just a bit of sadness, you know? He’s dealt with a lot and it’s definitely taken its toll on him.

Disaster Lesbian

Tries to be a graceful loser but she can get a bit more competitive than she’d like to admit.

Has a hard time relating to others and considering how they feel, at least when it comes to anything more complex than “bad thing happened now I’m sad/mad” He’s a drifter by nature, always onto the next big thing for a quick thrill.

Eats a lot. It’s never enough.

Plants and a good deal of food will decay if she touches them, or even gets too close to them.

Like his brother he has some interest in nature. Famine is more on the adventurous side, though. She’s tried to live off the land a few times with varying success.

Named her horse Frisk

Pestilence

He/him

Calm, quiet, but also a pessimistic jackass.

Always in a bad mood. I mean, he’s permanently sick with just about everything contagious and deadly. You’d be grumpy, too!

Surprisingly high pain tolerance. A good deal of his nerves have probably just.. shut down or something. Or maybe he’s just numb to everything after a lifetime of pain.

Sleeps a lot

Dislikes his situation a lot, but doesn’t mind the company of the others.

Lazarus is terrified of this dude. The other kids are mostly grossed out or annoyed by him.

Likes to be alone.

Fairly smart, but comes off as absent minded bc he’s pretty much too sick to function. He slips up a lot and he’s pretty damn clumsy

Probably the most rational of the bunch, when he’s not in airplane mode. 

He’s also got a fairly strong moral compass. He doesn’t really like fighting the kids unlike War and Famine. Or just having to go up against people in general. Hell he hates the fact people get sick because of him. At the very least Pest has higher standards and is fairly transparent

But that isn’t to say he’s a good person. Yeah he doesn’t go out of his way to hurt others for shits and giggles and He’s Not Conquest but he doesn’t ever object to any of the shit the kids are put through and well. Yknow he still does kill them. He will also encourage some of War’s antics when it’s against someone he dislikes.

Tries to be as supportive as he can for the others. He knows he can’t do too much without overexerting so he tries to be encouraging and comforting as he can.

This compassion usually isn’t extended to humans, though.

Not very emotive, the only emotions he ever really expresses would be disdain and mild concern.

Not very fond of Conquest but they don’t hate each other. They actually work together well, too.

Friends with Mahalath. They’re pretty close!

His horse’s name is Moses.

War

He/it

He’s not very friendly, he’s pretty defensive and always on edge.

Out of all the horsemen, he’s probably the one closest with the Beast.

Lots of scars n injuries, it’s practically stitched together

One gold tooth

Impulsive, prefers solving issues through violence than through reason.

He can be fairly clever, though.

Intentionally angers/upsets others, likes causing problems and ruining things for people.

Desires wealth and power

Gets burnt out pretty quickly.

Emotional, insecure, and sensitive, and he hates this part of him. Definitely overcompensates for it.

Explosive temper, quite literally. Catches fire when upset and explodes if it’s more intense. Damage done to him also makes it happen. It’s not entirely voluntary but can be held off, and his “sobbing” sprite is him doing exactly that (but he’s probably also trying not to cry lmao). In the Ultra War fight, however...

Its daily routine leaves a lot to be desired. It wakes up, goes to work, then it goes home and just. Sits and rots.

Also, his diet is god awful. Please just eat a fruit or vegetable for once maybe you’d feel better goddamn.

He cannot remember if his horse is actually a horse or not but uhh he named her Bellum.

Conquest

He/they.

High and mighty sort of attitude. Can be very selfish. Stubborn, set in his ways. Gets defensive if you call him out or tell him he’s wrong.

Gay + nonbinary but in the closet (and denial) about both of those things. They’re trying to unlearn years’ worth of internalized bigotry.

Used to be worse, now trying to unlearn his toxic behaviors. But he’s still awful.

Doesn’t remember anything before their death. However they’ve held very strong Christian (specifically Catholic) beliefs all their life and they have a pretty black and white way of thinking.

Very cold and clinical. He has a bit of a temper but there’s a sort of calmness to everything he does even when he’s pissed.

Just as argumentative and aggressive as War but like more of a threat.

The others call him Connie sometimes, especially Death, who practically almost always calls him by this nickname.

Doesn’t harbor ill will towards Pestilence. They might have been overshadowed, but it’s not Pestilence’s own fault. If anything, being out of the spotlight has been good for Conquest, even if they do miss the attention sometimes. The only reason the two dislike each other is because their personalities clash.

Now if there’s anyone he hates that would be the Headless Horseman. Fuck that guy amiright

Very protective of Death. The two are close, Death is probably the only person who is consistently nice to him.

Utterly terrified of needles (hypodermic, not sewing needles, though he’s not good with sharp objects tbh) and medical stuff makes him anxious

Seems very... off. Just weird vibes but no one can pin point what about him is wrong.

Oh uh and his horse’s name is Josephine.

[beatriceeagle]

I'm more of a fantasy than sci-fi person, but consider my interest piqued. Why should I watch farscape?

Okay, the thing is, every Farscape fan’s pitch on Why You, Yes You, Should Watch Farscape ends up sounding very similar, and that’s because Farscape is a black hole that sucks you in and does things to your brain, and after you’ve watched it you are never, ever the same, which incidentally is basically the plot of Farscape.

I would summarize the basic plot for you, but that’s work, and luckily, the show’s credits sequence includes a handy summary that I will provide instead of doing that work: “My name is John Crichton, an astronaut. A radiation wave hit, and I got shot through a wormhole. Now I’m lost in some distant part of the universe on a ship, a living ship, full of strange alien life forms. Help me. Listen, please. Is there anybody out there who can hear me? I’m being hunted by an insane military commander. Doing everything I can. I’m just looking for a way home.“

So let me break down that monologue into its component reasons you should watch Farscape.

1) Some of the strange alien life forms are Muppets.

Farscape a co-production with the Jim Henson Company, and while there are many aliens played by humans in make-up, there are also a considerable number (including two of the regular crew) who are Muppets. By which I do not mean Kermit. I mean really gorgeous, elaborate works of art.

Also, even a lot of the humans-in-makeup aliens just look cool, and incredibly weird. Here’s an alien who appears in a single episode of season 1:

Not that there aren’t, you know, occasional Star Trek-style “these guys are just humans with weird hair,” or whatever, but in general, the aliens on Farscape look really alien. And that’s more than an aesthetic choice; it’s Farscape’s driving narrative principle. The aliens look alien, they act alien, they have alien values.

You know how a lot of sci-fi shows will have a stand-in for “fuck,” like Battlestar Galactica has “frak”? Well, Farscape has “frell.” And also “dren.” And yotz, hezmana, mivonks, loomas, tralk, snurch, eema, drannit, dench, biznak, arn, drad, fahrbot, narl. Some of those are swear words, but some of them are just words, never explicitly translated, that the alien characters will pepper into their speech, because, well, why should translator microbes be able to completely translate all the nuances of an alien culture? You’ll pick it up from context. One time, in passing, a character mentions that he’s familiar with the concept of suicide, but there’s no word for it in his language. I cannot emphasize to you enough how fleeting this moment is; the episode is not about suicide, we’re not having a great exchange of cultural ideas—at the time, the characters are running down a corridor in a crisis, as they are about 70 percent of the time—it’s just that the subject got brought up, and this character needed to talk around the fact that he literally didn’t have a word, in that moment. Things like that happen all the time, on Farscape.

Because more than anything else, Farscape is a show about culture shock. John Crichton is this straight, white Southern guy, at the top of his game—he’s an astronaut! he’s incredibly high status!—and then he ends up on the other side of the galaxy, where none of his cultural markers of privilege hold any meaning, where he doesn’t know the rules, where he literally can’t even open the doors. And he has to unlearn the idea that humanity is central, that he is the norm.

2) John Crichton, an astronaut, is pretty great.

A show that’s about a straight white guy with high status having to learn that he’s not the center of the universe could easily be centered around a really insufferable person, but one of the subtle things that makes Farscape so wonderful is that Crichton is, for the most part, pretty excellent. He has a lot of presumptions to unlearn because almost anyone in his cultural position would, but he’s also just a stand-up guy: compassionate, intelligent, open-minded, decent, forgiving, brave, hopeful.

And the galaxy tries to kick a whole lot of that out of him. It doesn’t succeed, mostly, but if Farscape is about anything other than culture shock, it’s about the lasting effects of trauma. How you can go through a wormhole one person, and experience things that turn you into someone you don’t recognize.

That’s kind of grim-sounding, but ultimately, what I’m trying to say is that Farscape is almost fanatically devoted to character work. Crichton is not the only character who sounds like he should be one thing and ends up being another. All of the characters—all of them, all of them, even the annoying ones—are complicated wonders. And you don’t have to wonder whether the events of the episode you’re watching are going to matter. They will. Everything that happens to the characters leaves a mark. Everything leaves them forever changed. Whether it’s mentioned explicitly or not—and often enough, it’s not explicit—the characters remember what has happened to them.

3) The living ship houses a lot of excellent women, among them the ship itself.

Ah, the women of Farscape, thou art the loves of my fucking life.

There’s Aeryn Sun, former Peacekeeper (that’s the military that the “insane military commander” hails from) now fugitive, currently learning the meaning of the word “compassion” (literally). She will break your fingers and also your heart. John/Aeryn is the main canon romantic ship.

There’s Pa’u Zhoto Zhaan, a priestess of the ninth level, current pacifist, former anarchist. Sorry, leading anarchist. She orgasms in bright light! (Oh my god, Farscape.)

There’s Chiana, my fucking bestie, a teenage(ish? ages in Farscape are weird) fugitive on the run from a repressive authoritarian state. Chiana is like a seductress con artist grifter thief who mostly just wants to survive so that she can have fun, damn it. Characters on Farscape do not really discuss sexualities (sex, yes, sexualities, no) and it would be fair to say that several of them do not fall along human sexuality lines generally, but I’m gonna go ahead and say that Chiana is canonically not straight.

Then there’s Moya, the ship herself, and it’s hard to get a straight read on Moya’s personality, since she mostly can’t speak. But she definitely has opinions, and things and people she cares about. And she moves the plot, though that gets into spoiler territory.

Past first season, further excellent women show up: Jool (controversial, but I like her), Sikozu (I once saw a Tumblr meme where someone had marked down that Sikozu would lose her shit when someone pronounced “gif” wrong, and that’s absolutely correct, and it’s why I love her), and Noranti (who is incredibly weird, and incredibly hard to summarize, but man, you gotta love her willingness to just show up and do her thing). Plus, there’s a recurring female villain, Grayza, who I could write probably multiple essays about. (I don’t know how you will feel about Grayza, as not everyone loves her, but I think she’s fucking fascinating, especially because she’s not actually the only recurring female villain. We also get Ahkna!)

(Side note: I should mention, here, that the cast of Farscape is really, really white. There is one cast member of color, Lani Tupu, but he pretty much represents the entirety of even, like, incidental diversity in casting for the series.)

Anyway, Farscape is full of awesome women, and also awesome and unexpected men, and it really enjoys playing with audience expectations of gender roles, generally. Literal entire books have been written about the way that Farscape fucks around with sex, sexuality, and gender. It’s a little weird because it was the late 90s/early 2000s, and sometimes that does come through, but Farscape’s guiding principle was always to try not to present American culture of the time as the norm, so like. It is not.

(An aside on Farscape and sex: Literally every character on Farscape has sexual tension with every other character. If you are a shipper, this is a Good Show, because no matter who you ship, there will not only be subtext, you will get a Moment of some kind. Multiple characters kiss the Muppet. Farscape is dedicated to getting into the nitty-gritty of the galaxy—I like to think of it as showing the guts of the universe—so a lot of the show is kind of squishy. They live on a biomechanoid ship, instead of androids there are “bioloids,” there’s a lot of focus on strange alien biologies, and lots of weird glowing fluids and things. I think the sex thing is kind of part and parcel of the larger biology focus: Farscape is really fascinated with how we all eat and evolve and live and die and, well, fuck. Which is in turn, kind of part of its focus on making everything really alien.)

4) Other stuff you should know.

Farscape as a whole is excellent, but it was kind of the product of creative anarchy—an Australian/American coproduction (oh yeah, everyone except Crichton speaks with an Australian accent) that was also partnered with the Henson company, whose showrunners were based in America but whose actual production all took place in Australia, and who was just constantly trying new things. So individual episodes can vary wildly in quality. It really takes off in the back half of season one, but no season is without a few off episodes.

It is extraordinarily funny, and I really think I haven’t stressed that enough. It’s one of the shows I want to quote the most in my daily life, but almost all of its humor is really context-dependent, and if you just wander around going, “Hey Stark? What’s black and white, and black and white, and black and white?” people look at you really funny.

It’s very conversant with pop culture generally (although obviously sci-fi  specifically, and Star Trek most specifically of all) and really enjoys deconstructing tropes, often to the effect of, “Well, Crichton really does not know what to do here, does he?” but sometimes just to be interesting.

There are also a lot of themes about science, and its uses and misuses.

The whole thing is fucking epic, and if you get invested at all, will take you on an emotional ride.

This show is weird. I know that that’s probably come across by now, but I think it’s worth reiterating as its own point: Farscape is so weird. Like, proudly, unabashedly, trying its hardest, weird. An amazing kind of weird.

If you’re into fantasy, you should know that there’s a recurring villain who’s just a wizard. Like, they don’t bother to explain it any more than that, he’s just a fucking wizard.

In summary: You should watch Farscape because it is a weird, wild, emotional, epic romance/drama/action/allegory full of Muppets and leather and one-liners and emotional gut punches and love, and if you let it, it will worm its way into you and never let go, which, now that I think of it, is another Farscape plot.

Send me meta prompts to distract me from my migraine!