#desire without expectation

[jacobwren]

"I go into the kitchen to find some lunch and am surprised to find a teenage boy sitting alone at the kitchen table, eating a bowl of cereal. He asks me who I am, and I explain that I won’t be staying long, probably no more than a week, that I’m just here renting a room. To say that his response confuses me would be an understatement, since right away he replies: “That’s probably my old room. I used to live here.” It is completely tactless of me, and perhaps even dangerous, but without thinking I blurt out: “Did you murder your brother?” He doesn’t seem at all disturbed by my tactlessness, has clearly heard it all before. His voice is extremely calm as he explains: “No, I didn’t murder my brother. Very sadly, my brother killed himself. He wasn’t well. My parents know this but pretend they don’t. I suppose they think there’s something shameful about suicide, something shameful about mental illness. So they pretend something happened that didn’t. My mother even told the press she’s going to write a book about it. For some reason they find it less shameful to have a son who’s a famous murderer. This aspect of their worldview makes absolutely no sense to me. I mostly live in the forest nearby, sometimes I hide here in the basement when it rains. I still have the key so when I’m hungry I come and take some food. My parents know all this but pretend they don’t. They prefer to think of me somewhere out there in the big wide world, on the lam, to think of our life like some Hollywood movie. They’ve told the police I ran far away so, for now, it seems the police aren’t looking for me around here. But I assume sooner or later they’re going to figure it out.” I tried to understand whether or not he was lying to me and, if so, to what end. It certainly didn’t feel like a lie, as improbable as it all might sound. I say: “Your parents just decided you murdered your brother?” Son says: “No, the police told them I murdered my brother. And they decided to go with the official account.” Just then we hear a key in the front door and the son says he better be going, slipping out the back before I can stop him." - Jacob Wren, from the novel-in-progress Desire Without Expectation

[shiraishi--kanade]

"It's so embarrassing to admit I only create art for validation" did paleolithic humans not paint for other humans to see. Does a child making their first drawing to show their parents makes it any less valuable. Do gardens arranged for the visitors' eyes make the roses any less beautiful. Do love poems written for one person alone to hear make your heart ache less. You're fine

[critter-wizard]

ep 43 had me tearing up in a fucking shopping centre ‼️‼️

b+w alt version that I truly couldn't decide if I liked it more . Also I included a lot of thoughts in the tags but they're somewhat incoherent<3

[firefly-factory]

✨ - Tell something that makes this oc feel happy!

🧶 - Do they do any arts, crafts, or creative hobbies?

🍪 - What are their favorite scents?

☔ - How does this oc feel about rain?

🌲 - Do they have a favorite location to hang out in?

for Astor fam (dad, mom, bonus mom, weird dog)

More ask!! Thank youuuuuu <3 And yes let's talk about the Astor fam. I went ahead and answered every question for all of them so it's gonna be a little long :D

✨ - Tell something that makes this oc feel happy!

Herod (dad) - when something he's been working on pans out exactly how he intended. He knows that he can't control every aspect of a situation (though by Ganon he'll try his hardest to) so when things go off without a hitch he's always pleasantly surprised.

Leah (mom) - soft quiet moments with her loved ones. Some of her favorite moments from Astor was growing up were in the early-morning. He'd still be sleeping while she was getting ready for the day, and sometimes they'd open the windows early just to watch the sun rise together. Family is very important to her, and so whenever she's with her loved ones she'll savor every moment, even and especially the small ones.

Vaari (bonus mom) - she loves traveling in general, but her favorite part is the thrill of seeing something she's never seen before. It can be big things - like when she found the natural bridge hidden in cephla lake!!! - or teensy things, like when she saw a sunset firefly drinking from a dew drop early one morning. Best of all is when she's able to show these things to someone else. It magnifies the whole experience ten-fold

Harbinger ganon (weird dog) - the inevitable heat death of the universe. Barring that, it's a huge fan of a well-orchestrated ritual sacrifice :D

🧶 - Do they do any arts, crafts, or creative hobbies?

Herod - Manipulating people <3 But in all seriousness, he doesn't have a lot of time for creativity/proper hobbies because he's so focused on keeping things moving in the cult. When he does have free time, he'll usually spend it people-watching. He's incredibly interested in how people go about day-to-day, and if he sees a mannerism he like's he'll store it away for later.

Leah - Singing! Sometimes she'll sing traditional songs, other times she'll make up little lullabies for Astor or just sing about her day as she goes. She was actually a semi-professional singer before she joined the cult, and although she doesn't talk about that much anymore, the act of singing is still very comforting for her. Her father encouraged her to take it up when she was very young.

Vaari - She loves making jewelry, and is also does some embroidery! Still figuring out the timeline of this, but she's most likely the one who did the embroidery on Astor's robes. She's a traveling gem-merchant, and so whenever she has an imperfect stone, or one that just isn't selling, she turns it into jewelry. She's made a lot of jewelry for Leah, and also set the ruby in Astor's necklace (because that boy is ALWAYS cold).

Weird Dog™ - Hmm. Does tormenting wandering seers with visions of madness count?

🍪 - What are their favorite scents?

Herod - the smell of the woods at night in the summer.

Leah - Water on stone. She grew up in Deya Village and spent a lot of time playing down by the river, or up on the banks of the reservoir, and so the smelling brings back a lot of fond memories.

Vaari - hot sand. It's another nostalgic smell that reminds her of home. There's something about the dusty, mineral smell that she hasn't found anywhere else, and so whenever she gets a whiff of it it sends her back to the warmth of childhood. She also loves Leah's perfume, which smells like cedar and hickory shells.

Weird Dog™ - homemade cookies

☔ - How does this oc feel about rain?

Herod - He's not a fan. If asked directly, it's because rain - at best - is an inconvenience. At worst, intermittent flooding is a dangerous in the mountains and could undermine the structural integrity of both Shadow Hamlet and the Temple. What he'll never admit is that it goes deeper than that. Water was associated with punishment growing up and now, unless it's an environment he can control entirely, he hates the sensation of being wet.

Leah - she loves it. Shadow Hamlet is landlocked and pretty far from any permanent body of water, so rain is the only time she really gets that wet-stone nostalgia I talked about above. She loves sitting outside during a rainstorm and watch the dark clouds roll over Akkala below.

Vaari - mixed feelings. She's been traveling for a while now, but she's still Gerudo, and there's something unsettling about that much water coming from every direction. Still, as long as she's not actually in the rain when it hits, she likes it. She'll happily sit by the window, covered in blankets, and watch the rain come down, but she does not want to be out there. She'll leave that to Leah

Weird Dog™ - not a fan. It's water resistant but NOT waterproof (so thank goodness the Yiga live in the desert)

🌲 - Do they have a favorite location to hang out in?

Herod - he really likes visiting the hot-springs that are scattered around Death Mountain. He's cold almost all the time (poor Astor got his dad's shitty circulation) so the hot springs offer a nice reprieve. He spent a lot of time there when he was younger, when he was on diplomatic trips away from the Hamlet (and his mother). Since he took on the mantle of Augur (political and spiritual leader of the Ganon cult) he hasn't had many chances.

Leah - the home she makes with Vaari. It's a small, quiet place built in a half-hidden valley in death mountain, and it's just theirs. She loves the safety and isolation, as if no one else in the world could find them here, and the floor is always warm, as if a sunbeam were shining on it. The windows glitter with sun-catchers Vaari made or traded for, and they send rainbows dancing across the room when the sun starts to set.

Vaari - on a clear day, Vaari loves to scale the side of Death Mountain to see just how high she can climb. There's a ledge, just deep enough to lay down in, that she always rests at, and on a clear day she's able to see almost to the Gerudo Highlands. She loves to sit and take in the world from this bird's eye view. It reminds her of her days as a wandering vai. Maybe one day she'll show Leah, although her wife isn't very comfortable with heights . . .

Weird Dog™ - anywhere it shouldn't be. Also, on an altar surrounded by potential victims worshipers

[highfantasy-soul]

So as we're thinking about the casting of Toph in the Netflix adaptation, please please please remember that Toph isn't REALLY blind representation. Like so many other 'blind' characters, the narrative gives them superpowers that let them operate in the world in ways an irl blind person can't (Daredevil is a good example of this too). So let's not put those expectations on irl blind (or visually impaired) actresses and say "well, they're blind, so they'll actually move like Toph does!!" No. They won't. And to expect them to interact with the world like a fictional, superpowered blind person does is, in my opinion, pretty abelist.

It's a disability - shying away from the fact that blind people don't have perfect echolocation isn't putting them down. Refusing to acknowledge that they need aids to help them get around the world isn't helping anyone, it's dismissing what they deserve to have provided for them.

I'm not saying no visually impaired person could possibly play Toph well, what I'm saying is that I've been seeing a lot of posts claiming that a blind actress would be the only one able to accurately (and safely) portray the way Toph interacts with the world completely forgetting that Toph uses vibrations in the earth to see....pretty much everything - something irl blind people CANNOT DO.

We of course need to see more visually impaired representation on screen, but I think the best way to do that is to write characters that don't have superpowers that negate their disability. Have characters be strong and badass without declaring that 'well it they were REALLY blind, then they would be weak - they're strong because their superpower NEGATES their blindness to a large extent' or god forbid 'irl blind people develop superpowers, so if they need aids of any sort, they're just lazy and not working hard enough to compensate for their lack of sight'.

Just something to keep in mind when thinking about casting - if they don't cast a blind actress for Toph, unless I see otherwise, I'm not going to assume it's because they just don't like blind people. I'm going to assume they took into account the entirety of making the show and what was a realistic way to portray Toph and what was reasonable to expect the actress to do.

[j-esbian]

back-to-back dorym and callowmoore scenes in the finale watered my crops. god i love them

[mymarifae]

i love her so fucking much. gorgeous angel. refusing to lose herself in the despair and confusion and instead insisting on burning brighter than ever before. go beat phantylia's ass girl you got this

[smile-files]

do you ever wish you could use a memory-erasing gun on yourself so you forget about all of the characters and stories you've come up with but which you know you'll never bring to life and thus have become more of an existential burden than anything

[jacobwren]

"But as the documentary progressed the luck began to run out. The police, in the end, did find another approach. There were two main leaders of the union. The documentary called them Leader One and Leader Two. The documentary leaves it unclear whether the cops or someone else did it, but the husband of Leader One is murdered. What the documentary does make clear is the police frame Leader Two for the killing. What follows is a sensationalistic trial that pits the two leaders against each other. The film ends with the two union leaders meeting again for the first time in many years, in the present day, and a moving conversation in which they finally both realize the full extent to which they were manipulated and played against one another. In the final minutes of the film, they both have a chance to say how happy they are that, even without them, their fellow workers managed to hold onto the factory and continue running it as a cooperative to this day. Underneath the closing credits, shots of the current day factory running smoothly under worker control. The moment the film ends, the person sitting beside me turns and asks what I thought of it. At the same time, the other person gets up to the front of the room and says there will be a brief five-minute pause followed by an open discussion. I say: “Are you going to stay for the discussion?” They say: “I don’t know. Are you?” This puts me in a dilemma. If I leave, they will likely follow me out in an attempt to continue our previous conversation. But if I stay, I have to stay for the discussion. I decide to stay, then I decide to leave, then I decide again to stay. I say: “What did you think of the film?” They say: “You go first.” I say: “Every time I watch a documentary, I learn something. But what I find strange is how surprised I am that I’ve just learned something. Somehow I’m never expecting it.” They say: “What did you learn?” But I don’t know exactly what I’ve just learned. It’s more of a feeling. Maybe I’ve learned that if you want to fight the status quo you need to have a lot of luck on your side. And they’re going to use every dirty trick in the book to undermine your endeavor. But for some reason I don’t say this. Instead I say: “Turning friends against each other is much easier than it should be.” They say: “But in the end the two movement leaders found their friendship again. Wasn’t that the moral of the film?” I say: “Yes, but they lost so much time.”" - Jacob Wren, from the novel-in-progress Desire Without Expectation

[tenebrius-excellium]

Thinking about Httyd...hot and perhaps too personal take: To me, Httyd was more than anything else a movie about emotional starvation. And Forbidden Friendship was the sweetest, briefest celebration of relief from that.

Afterwards, everybody basically told Hiccup to man up “because that’s just life” and I will never forgive Httyd2 and Httyd3 for that.

[daredevils-advocate]

.

[marionettou]

i feel most comfortable bein the object of parasocial relationships

[bunnyboy-juice]

went to take a selfie and Literally dont recognize myself anymore lmao

[shallowseeker]

in the nihilism script, dean is in a time loop, beheading his own desires as he stays in stasis, sublimating his love for cas through work and through miming desire for Pamela-as-standin

dean’s always pushed his own happiness to the wayside (example: back at Sonny’s, with Robin)

anyhoo…

he kills “Drunk” and “Raincoat” over and over, symbolically killing his and Cas’s hunger for one another.

courtesy @spnscripthunt 14x10 nihilism

[unladielike]

...Not sure if I'll be active on here again, as my muse for Vivian just isn't all that present (to the point where she only ever really seems to come out to bug Hayate) and the tumblr RPC scene still absolutely exhausts me, I don't exactly feel like seeking out additional partners that would help stave off my boredom, but for the time being, you can find me here.

Honestly, I'm more motivated to write fics these days, as even though my works don't get that many kudos or comments, I'm at least writing stuff that makes me happy instead of trying to appease others and humiliating myself in the process for the smallest grain of attention, but in the event you reply to something like one of the open starters I have posted or a thread back in 2024 you haven't yet dropped on your end, I'll be sure to get to it eventually.

[jacobwren]

"And yet the long drive feels like the first time we’ve really talked. Conversations verging on mutual therapy. The first time I really explain wandering to anyone, fully go in depth, and am taken back by Alfreda’s immediate response: “The problem was you all stopped. That shows a lack of commitment. If you’re going to really do something you have to keep doing it no matter what happens. If you stop, you’re betraying the cause. What kind of person says: I love you, but it’s not working out so I’ve decided I don’t love you anymore and now I’m going to do something else.” I say: “I think a lot of people do that. And it’s even worse to keep banging your head against the wall when something clearly isn’t working.” Alfreda says: “I’m talking about commitment. What does it mean to go all in, to commit yourself as fully as possible.” I say: “And what about you? Why aren’t you still leading your school of radical economics? Why aren’t you still together with Driver?” Alfreda says: “Yes, we’ve both got a lot to answer for.” Over the weeks to come, I think a great deal about commitment. What did it mean to be fully committed to something, to commit as fully as possible? How did you know you had chosen to commit to the right thing, and weren’t just going further and further down some unproductive road? When Paul was on the road to Damascus, how could he be certain the voice he heard came from God and not the devil? But that is only a story in a book, a book that so many people believe is more than a book. It is true that when we all started wandering I often believed we had found the one true way. It felt like a new approach that might solve so much. Yet it also left us out in the open, where any half-competent sniper could pick us off like cans on the wall at a makeshift firing range. If we had armed ourselves it would have completely undermined the original spirit of the endeavor. But if we had found a way to hold onto each other in the face of sudden adversity, that could have been a beginning for something else. Now it was all a long time ago, and we hadn’t. Nonetheless, I couldn’t help but realize Alfreda had a point. Our commitment wasn’t as robust as it might have been." - Jacob Wren, from the novel-in-progress Desire Without Expectation