#destigmatized mental illness my ass

[szczylpierdolony]

it’s so not fair depression has real life consequences

[rustedskyprisms]

Nobody who is mentally ill “in the wrong way” has really been benefited by this alleged awareness that’s happened. I sure as hell do not feel like the symptoms I have are less stigmatized, I feel like they’ve just been turned into a big joke. I don’t feel like the unhealthy coping mechanisms I’ve turned to as a result of said symptoms ruling my life are less stigmatized. Someone else put it best- “mental illness hasn’t been destigmatized, it’s been commercialized.”

And I’m sick of this “it doesn’t affect your behavior or how you treat others”. Yes, it does. When you are in survival mode, when you are suicidal all the time, when your head never, ever leaves you alone, when you’re literally just suffering all the fucking time, um, you’re probably not going to be the most pleasant person to be around. And I’m sick of pretending that that’s a false statement. It’s a pain in the ass to deal with severe mental illness-whether you have it, or you’re around someone who does. It’s not this sanitized thing.

[computrkisser]

Some people with harmful paraphilia will never act on them, and some people without paraphilia will abuse children

paraphilia are not a crime, they’re mental disorders. They’re literally thoughts and feelings, often which the person DOESNT want to have

whereas people who commit crimes are punished for their actions

and “kill all pedos/zoos” does not help destigmatizing paraphilia in general, many will be hesitant to seek help for their problems. Isolation has proven to be THE factor that actually makes mental health conditions WORSE (not just paraphilia but also addiction, depression, etc)

So what this actually means: you don’t care about anyone but yourself, you jumped to a topic no one was talking about, and also came to someone else’s post, looking to argue

you’re a vile pos who has not even a shred of empathy

HEEEELPPPPP the fact you have the audacity to say this shit and not even know anything about my opinions or anything I even said. And this shows because little of what you said I disagree with I can't argue back because I agree with most of it. HOWEVER. The most i disagree with is the fact that isolation may not help the issue but people with paraphillas should absolutely not be given a community on the internet because there are so many bad people that don't seek help and will drag others down with them and validate their illnesses, they should be given a community within therapy where they can heal with others and professionals around them.

And idk where ur ass got "kill all z00s/p3d0s" came from cause that's absurd. I believe people should seek PROFESSIONAL help and support to be able to recover from the issues.

I never went to "start arguments" I was looking for wholesome objectum stuff when I came across that VILE page that was normalizing and validating paraphiles. They where trying to group objectum with z00s and p3d0s, they are activly and proudly a z00, claims to be non-contact and not looking for help, even so it's still incredibly harmful to their mental well-being, they openly support p3d0s calling them "maps" which is just a fancy word for a p3d0, they are activly reposting and using "map flags" and other paraphilla flags, again onto my point of normalizing it, harmful paraphillas do NOT need flags. and last but not least, they reposted a post about some "happy pride month to all the paras" n the post LITERALLY SAID "never stop being weird" that is validating and fueling people. That is NOT wanting them to seek help.

The only thing I was doing was calling out a harmful creator that could help create issues in recovering paras, and who is making everyone uncomfortable with posting about stuff that should be kept in therapy. That person needs serious help and it shows.

[bandofchimeras]

hey dude, sorry not trying to be an ass w this but I saw u had a post where in the tags you used delusional and narcissist as pretty derogatory insults towards the govt. Bashing the government is good and great but using terms that we (at least currently) need to describe mental illness (and definitely associate with it!)... in ways like that... its ableist and dehumanizing and leads to more abuse, even if it feels innocent, because if everyone who's a narc or who's delusional is dangerous....that's everyone w/ npd, or a schizospec disorder, or any other things.

Sorry this is long, and again, not trying to be rude! Just wanted to inform you and ask that you maybe be a little more careful with word choice in the future :)

hey anon, yeah thanks for your concern. I do understand the movement to change language usage around mental illness and destigmatize. And it is well intentioned.

Unfortunately, narcissistic and delusional are still pretty generally derogatory words. A person with NPD may not cause harm simply by virtue of having the diagnosis but we all agree narcissism itself isn't a fun cool trait to have. Delusions are obscurations of reality.

We still say manic, depressed, obsessive, etc in both outright negative ways and descriptive but not morally loaded ways. to me it's just part of language, and the ethics of most derogatory language does depend on who's using it.

I'm absolutely behind not calling everyone who sucks a narcissist. and would like people to stop saying "I'm being OCD" or "that's so bipolar," "he's a schizo" and so on. The "delulu" trend online is weird and fetishizes mentally ill people.

For context: I am a person with a narcissistic tendency, due to my childhood. My life has been a long train of psych symptoms... delusions of grandeur, maladaptive daydreaming, hallucinations, psychosis, derealization, depersonalization, dissociative identity states. psychology is one of my longest hyperfixations simply because I needed to understand my experience. it's been helpful and unhelpful in different ways. Pathologization is a phenomen that can't be understood separately from language, culture, history, and violence.

And yet I don't really have a problem with calling things crazy, insane, or batshit. in fact I find power in redefining and playing with these terms. I've been called crazy in a demeaning, invalidating way. And yeah, I'm a lil crizazy, a bit unhinged one might say. But if a motherfucker calls me crazy to invaldiate my argument, I instantly know they've lost. They're being weak, and abusive. It will also piss me the fuck off. I may want to show them what "crazy" looks like. The better angels of my nature will whisper "keep your head."

With the movement to neutralize mental health terms, what's always confused me is the understanding of language itself. I experience words autistically - they have multiple overlapping meanings all the time. Words are like composite images composed of billions of instances of use, fluttering and evolving as they are spoken and written. Vernacular is messy, sputtering and ever changing. Therefore words carry a multitude of connotations. When different people say them in different contexts you can see and hear different implications.

So, I really don't care if a dude at work says "that's fuckin insane bro" ...to a gnarly kickflip. Or a devastating news article. Insane delineates the magnitude of his emotion. It's out of bounds. Something normies and straights would try to contain, institutionalize, label. Christ, that's juicy. It's why I adore skater boy lingo and teen slang. It's careless and crunchy.

English itself, especially corporate and institutional English, can be a strict, bland, and often abusive language. My fellow autistic homies tend to enjoy a rousing jaunt down into the annals of historical parlance for our everyday linguistic transactions because it's fucking boring, the clinical way we are expected to speak here and now.

So therefore: thanks for your message calling attention to my words and their impact.

There are deeper better more poetic words to call the government and frankly I believe the best ones might be found in other languages.

All in all, you're right that "narcissistic" and "delusional" are not the most accurate, potent words to describe the US government. How to convey the twisted, detached from reality, spirit of that entity best in language, though, I need to expand the lexicon. Maybe using these words is cheap. Maybe it covers over the intentionality and corruption at play.

So I'm going to open this up to some language play - and ask you, anon, and anyone else what words can we find to convey the negative meaning of delusional (detached from truth) and narcissistic (inverted and self concerned to the point of dysfunction), in English? or in another language?

I hope you can take this in good faith not as a deflection but really engaging with your ask.

Being language corrected can trigger my harshest defenses. I can feel in my body all the times someone has punished, invalidated, dismissed something I've said because of using "uncivil" or foul or imperfect language. In general, trying to conform to correct ideological forms of language is like, major wretched, dude.

Hell my dorky ass disingenuous nerd of a brother yesterday called a message I sent the family group chat about Palestine "blasphemous" because I said " my god" and used it as an excuse to delete every impassioned exchange we had so the "children wouldn't see," - him be racist, cough. can't make this shit up.

But that's my background. Catholicism is a mental illness. (Sorry in advance to all mental illness havers for associating you with Catholics)

[campyvillain]

tumblr ppl will b like “i love neurodivergent ppl!!!! destigmatize mental illness and mental conditions! mental health should be taken seriously” and then see a post where someone w a real ass memory issue tries to describe the most basic of phrases which leads them to discover that they have that condition in the first place and be like “oh my god this is SOOO these characters from a fandom i’m in XD” the irony is deafening and everyone on this site owes me 200 dollars for people knowing me for Just Having A Funny Aphasia Story instead of like being an actual person who has been fucked over by my memory loss. like all of a sudden a persons well-being goes out the window if what happened to them is funny

[rotationalsymmetry]

Ohhhh thought on the whole self deprecation thing …like yes, there are ways to change behavior at a collective/cultural level to address depression and improve mental health.

(For instance, anything that makes poverty less shitty is good for people’s mental health, overall. As is destigmatizing talking about mental illness like it’s a normal thing that normal people struggle with.)

But I’m not sure that soft-policing individuals’ behaviors is one of them? Like any time you think “I have an idea to make the world better, it involves establishing that some people are Doing It Wrong and need to change” maybe check yourself?

I don’t think I’m just pulling this out of my ass. Firstly, resistance is a huge thing that gets in the way of therapy and other treatments for mental illness, so things that are likely to increase individuals’ resistance (like telling them to do stuff, especially for arbitrary reasons) is potentially going to make things worse. Second, there’s a lot of YMMV to mental health and people tend to do better when their agency is affirmed — when they’re encouraged rather than discouraged to notice what makes things better for them and look for their own solutions.* For one person that might well be replacing self-critical statements with self-aggrandizing ones. For another it might be singing regularly or going on walks a lot. One person might find that paying a lot of attention to their appearance helps them a lot, and another might find they’re better off if they reassure themselves a lot that they look fine and no one is judging. What makes people feel better is often super individual!

And to the extent that anyone wants to work on depression and body image issues and so on as a community, that’s a thing we can do: affirm each other’s innate drive to heal, and each other’s innate wisdom in knowing what’s going to be healing for each of us.

(Sorry if that sounded a little woo but I’m literally paraphrasing Carl Rogers. IIRC he uses an analogy of a sprouting potato in a basement growing towards the light. Anyways. Super woo guy, Carl Rogers. 11/10 recommend.)

And talk about what works for each of us in “I” statements. “This is what I’m trying right now.” “I have found this helpful for me.” “Your mileage may vary.” Even with general advice or evidence based whatever it’s possible to avoid overgeneralizing or prescribing or otherwise telling other people what to do: “this study suggests/shows x” (a study showing a thing works in general doesn’t mean it works for literally everybody, usually there’s some people in the study who didn’t experience improvement) or “this book/expert recommends y.”

There’s another thing which is: if someone else’s negative self talk borrows you that’s understandable, but that’s not the same thing as it being a problem for them. My personal experience is that being shut down on a negative self talk thing makes me feel like other people don’t care about me and makes me feel worse. Even if it’s done nicely/softly. It’s not that going off about how I’m a terrible person makes me feel good…but often that feels more accessible than stating my actual emotions. Which I do want to communicate. So what you do is you own your own feelings and don’t put it on the other person! You can ask them how they feel about that form of self expression and if they do want it pointed out to them so they can stop, great, you can do that, but if they don’t then you’re not doing it for their own good, you’re doing it for yours, which is different.

And notice all of that is presuming an existing relationship; it would be super inappropriate to approach the blog of someone you don’t have a connection with and tell them they’re doing it wrong. (Posting on your own blog isn’t that, but I still think it’s not a great thing to do for reasons explained above.) Because sometimes that sort of negative talk is better for a person than holding the negativity in. And from the outside you just can’t tell.

*one thing I like about CBT as I’ve been exposed to it is it’s got a very strong “let’s check and see if this is working for you” ethic. But I’m getting that mostly from books, I don’t know how it plays out in an actual therapy context. I have found that when there’s a book about a thing and when people do the thing in groups, often there’s a great deal of difference between how things have evolved in the group context and how things should be in theory according to the book. And also that no one ever acknowledges the differences.

[confused-and-hurtzo]

Thoughts on the finale

Okay... I have some thoughts about this Grey’s finale, and I want to let them out and see what everyone thinks. 

Trigger warning: suicide talk

I have seen a lot of people complaining about the finale and how “uneventful” it was.. ok fair, your feelings are valid. But I think this whole season has been about developing characters and dealing with their past traumas. Therefore, it's reasonable. I can see why this finale was very wholesome, it was setting things for next season and respecting most characters' past. I have been watching Grey's since 2013, and it's true that previous finales have seen more shocking and entertaining. So, I find this one as a semi-break from the drama. Let's start with my more detailed thoughts. 

1. Jackson/ Maggie: As I have said before, I am not particularly attached to them and, therefore, I don't care very much about what happens. I am honestly ready for Jackson to die or leave the show because I feel that Jesse William has peaced out since they fired Sarah and Jessica. Like, he doesn't promote the show as much on social media, and he has been focussing more on his activism, which is very valid. I don't want him to leave, but I would understand why he would decide to do it.

2. Nico/ Glasses: I love this couple, they are so cute together, and I love how much Glasses has grown and gained confidence in this relationship. I love that he came out to his mom. I wanna see how that storyline develops. I am so happy for them and how much they have grown.

3. The Love Pentagon: First, I want to start with Teddy and Owen. I am so happy about their daughter, and it was cute how they picked the same name at the same time. However, I feel that the writers have forgotten about their past romantic relationships. This forgetfulness bothers me a little. I dislike that for them to be meant to be crucial storylines are dismissed, seems very forced. While I understand that this relationship has a VERY ancient history, I feel that this ancient history should be considered when talking about Teddy and Owen. On the one hand, last episode, Teddy says no one has ever made her feel like Owen does. Ummm... did you guys forgot about Henry? Hello? On the other hand, Owen romantically loving Teddy just invalidates his two major relationships... Amelia? Cristina? These relationships were relevant for his journey. He loved these women too, and, therefore, his love confession was not what I expected at all. It didn't convince me. 

This brings me to Omelia. I find it very annoying that they made Omelia a thing at the beginning of the season just to tare it apart. I understand that it allowed them to get their shit together, but one would think that it was going to take a step forward in their relationship. Also, can we talk about how self-less Amelia is? She still loves Owen a little, but she steps out of it for his sake. That is so brave and selfless, classic Amelia. I like that she asked Link for a break. She honestly deserves it and its good that she recognizes she needs it. We know how reckless she can be, this decision shows how much she has grown, I am so proud of her. I hope she finds herself and that the writers bring a bit of Private Practice Amelia.

Tom breaks my heart, but he doesn’t deserve to be with a woman that does not love him back.

4. Jolex: My heart was so happy with how this went down. I like Jo's storyline because it shows how we can talk about suicide and depression in a sensitive and respectful manner (not like 13 Reasons Why, yikes). I love how Mer told Alex that they needed a professional to help her. Jo deciding to go to therapy is so healthy, and I am here for a storyline that destigmatizes mental illnesses and visualizes suicide in a very respectful way. We stan!

5. Merluca: OH MY GOD! Did anyone cry when she said I love you back? AHHHH. They are my favorite. I LOL at the fact that they have to turn themselves to save the other's ass and career. I love that Mer is owning up and holding herself accountable, so brave. I love that she called him stupid and told him that he needs to learn how to deal with her whack actions. This line killed me because it shows that she does see a future with him. How cute is this? And, then, she says she is terrified, but still says she loves him WOW. She has grown so much, I am going to cry. They had so much chemistry, they said a lot with their looks and facial expressions, whoever says they don't have chemistry should rewatch this scene. Although they were separated by a glass window, there was so much being said. We stan this. I am so excited to see how they develop in the next two seasons, and I hope that the writers have more scenes with them. Like they have been dating for three months, and we have not seen a lot of their relationship. I want some domestic Merluca scenes with the kids and also so on-call room action because we all need that too.

Let me know how you guys feel about the finale!

Also, are there any Spanish-speaking Merluca fans? I listened to this song that reminds me of them, and I want to share. Pls, message me if you wanna hear it.

[laniakeabooks]

Free to Fall by Lauren Miller, A Rant Review by Laniakea

Hello. How are you?

It’s been a long ass time. Why? My dumbass decided to take summer courses. You know those super condensed ones? The ones that make you want to rip your eyeballs out? Yeah... I took three at once. What was I thinking, right? I couldn’t tell you. I regret it. 

BUT. I still managed to read. And in July I read this gem of a book dubbed Free to Fall, written by Lauren Miller. And oooooooooh boy do I have shit to say about this... shit. So, brace yourselves, because this is a long and angry one.  

So, this is how this review is going to go:

       The major issues I had with this book and its narrative (when I say major issues, I mean MAJOR ISSUES… like, dare I say, problematic aspects of this book).

       Because it’s me, the deplorable excuse for science/neuroscience that Lauren Miller apparently didn’t find the need to take five minutes to google-check the concepts she was using.

       The little things that just kind of twisted the knife of annoyance

You may be saying: “Wait a second, she isn’t going to be talking about anything that the book did right.” And to that I say: “The things that the book did right? Nothing, IN MY OPINION. The thing that Lauren Miller did right, though, was write in a style that jives with my personal tastes. She didn’t beat around the bush to say something, she just said it outright. WHICH I LIKE, because, I don’t have time or the patience to suss out all of those little details and symbolisms just to get to the point that (for example) it’s a beautiful day.” There. Positive point. Hey, I didn’t rate it one star because it had a lot of positives.

So, let’s get started, shall we? (Shout-out to Corrine and Rob because damn, they’ve had a tough year.)

Issue #1: This is the biggest issue I had with this book. It has nothing to do with the plot or the characters or anything like that, but it’s what bothers me the most. What is it, you may ask? Well, it’s the simple fact that everyone in this book (and I have to assume Lauren Miller too) refers to the mentally ill as “crazy”. If you don’t understand my issue with this, let me explain. Calling someone who is mentally ill “crazy” is equivalent to calling a black person a “nigger” or calling a gay person a “faggot”. The word crazy is used as a slur to put someone beneath you, to make them less believable or trustworthy… to dehumanize them. It’s derogatory and offensive. It’s time that we stop using that word when talking about mental illness. It’s 2019 (2014 in the book’s case). Unacceptable.

So, when do we see the mentally ill referred to as crazy in Free to Fall? Throughout the entire book pretty much. It’s just said over and over and over again. But the worst instance? Here it is as a direct quote from page 127 (Oh, and mind you, the character saying this is a psychologist teaching a cognitive psychology class. Let that sink in.):

“You’ve all been given limited access to the Department of Public Health’s medical records database,” Rudd said as he returned to the front of the room.

(*record scratch* Wait a second, high school students having access to medical files? Absolutely not. Would never happen. You usually can’t even get your hands on medical records unless you’re the patient’s doctor. So that’s a technical issue with this book… one of many. Again, five minutes on Google, Lauren. Okay, back to the whole “crazy” thing.)

“Your login has been coded to the research topic you selected, allowing you to review the med records for patients who suffered from the mental illness you’re studying.” He picked up his tablet off his desk and tapped the DPH icon. The app launched on the screen at the front of the room. “Now, I know what some of you are thinking,” he deadpanned as he logged himself in. “You’re hoping this means you’ll be able to prove once and for all that your frenemy in a certified nut job. But, alas, your access is limited to dead crazies, and this particular database is anonymous anyway, which means the only identifying information you’ll have are gender, ethnic origin, and birth and death dates.”

That’s right. Lauren Miller had this character say, “dead crazies”. Dead. Crazies. The note I wrote in the margin right beside this passage? Word for word: FUCK YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT. Not sure if I’m directing this at Lauren Miller, Rudd or both, but I stand by it. In reality though, I don’t think there are any words to describe how disgusted and offended (and it’s VERY hard to offend me) I am by those two words. At this point, page 137 out of page 469, I decided this book would get a 1 star and a damning review.

“Oh, you’re being so petty.” Yeah bitch, I sure fucking am.

“It’s just a word.” No bitch, it fucking ain’t.

“You shouldn’t read books that say things like that.” Well bitch, I didn’t know books written in 2014 would use derogatory words like crazy. And I’d rather it be me who reads it and warns people about it than have someone who is vulnerable read it and take it seriously.

I am a huge advocate for mental illness and destigmatizing it. It’s time we stop using this disgusting derogatory word when talking about mental illness. And a good place to start is right here in the media.

Issue #2: Rory and North are preparing to roofie someone. That’s right. Roofie. As in drug them against their will. Assault them. Violate them. And to make it worse, they’re planning to administer it intravenously, because the whole assault thing wasn’t despicable enough. BUT DON’T WORRY YOU GUYS! North says he’ll get some legal drugs from a pharmacist because that makes it okay.

He objects for 0.5 seconds… but it doesn’t last. Here’s how the conversation goes:

“The only question is, how do we take Liam out of commission for a couple of hours?” North asked.

“We roofie him” I say without hesitation. “It’ll incapacitate him without killing him, and it’ll screw with his memories.”

“Oh, okay. I’ll just grab the bottle of date-rape pills I have in my medicine cabinet.”

“Not pills,” I corrected. “Has to be injectable. There’s no way we can guarantee that he’ll drink whatever we put it in.”

North gave me an incredulous look. “You’re actually serious?”

“What? It’s what the society uses. And it’ll do exactly what we need it to do.

North tugged at this Mohawk. “I know we don’t have time to get into this right now, but, holy crap, Rory, this shit is seriously messed up.”

“You’re right. Not the time. We have to go buy roofies.”

“Where, at Walgreens? I’m sure we’ll find them right next to the Advil.”

I crossed my arms, irritated by the sarcasm. “You’re a guy with a Mohawk and tattoos. Don’t you know people?”

“People with Rohypnol?”

“So, you don’t know anyone who can get it?”

He started to shake his head but seemed to think of something. “One of my clients is a pharmacist in Greenfield. I could probably get a prescription sleeping serum from him. Something potent but legal. I can message him from my apartment.”

North said it, this is so messed up… but is surpasses the “messed up” title and deserves the “fucked up” title. By the way, they never talk about it again. Getting “legal” drugs does not make the act of drugging someone okay. Ever. And on top of that Rory wants someone that will mess with Liam’s memories? I guess assaulting him and revoking his control over his own body wasn’t evil enough for Rory, she had to fuck with the essence of who he is.    

Moving on to the… “science”. Listen, I get it, this is fiction. It doesn’t have to be 100% in line with reality. But do you know what isn’t fiction? Neuroscience. Science that has already been researched and accepted. Why does this matter so much to me? I hate misinformation. It leads to fear and people doing stupid shit. Also, I am an aspiring neuroscientist myself and would like for people to understand how the brain works on a physiological (and psychological) level. That way there will be less of that “vaccines cause autism” and “sunscreen causes ADHD” crap, because they don’t, by the way.

Lauren Miller latches onto the term “synaptic pruning”. This is a real thing. During your first few months of life, unused/rarely used neurons will die (don’t worry, this is perfectly normal and an essential step in neurodevelopment). How does Lauren Miller incorporate this into her story?

“Now we knew that the inner voice was nothing more than a glitch in the brain’s circuitry, something to do with ‘synaptic pruning’ and the development of the frontal lobe.” (p.13)

My response went something like this: NoOOoooOOOOoOo! It’s only page 13 and I’m being subjected to poorly researched scienceeeeeeEEEeEEEeeee.

It would have taken five minutes on Google to look up: Which areas of the brain have to do with hearing voices? Answer: temporal and frontal lobes. Done. Next: why do people hear voices? Answer: potentially neuronal death in said brain regions (not synaptic pruning, very different concepts). Why? We don’t know yet. Anyway, the voice they are talking about here is “The Doubt” which is basically intuition so that would most likely relate to the hippocampus (and other memory-storing regions) and the prefrontal cortex. But then again, “The Doubt” is supposed to be altruism… but it’s written as intuition, so I’m just confused.

Next in bad (neuro)science, Lauren Miller claims that enzymes for memories (this relates back to the whole roofie scene where Rory wants to mess with Liam’s memories too). Basically, neurotransmitters are responsible for memories, namely glutamate and dopamine. I’ll be talking about glutamate here because dopamine forms the “do that again because it made us feel good” kind of memory, and glutamate forms the kind of memory Lauren Miller is referring to. You need to glutamate for LTP (basically a memory) which, in short, is strengthening the connection between two neurons. If you’ve ever heard the term “Neurons that fire together wire together.”, that’s exactly what I’m talking about here. So, no, enzymes do not form memories. (P.S. LTP is really interesting... if you’re interested in brains, so check it out!)

Onto “SynOx” (synthetic oxytocin) which is really, from what I understand, simulates oxytocin but activating oxytocin receptors on neurons (Lauren Miller doesn’t go into this much detail on how SynOx works, but I’m just trying to understand by talking through it so bear with me). First of all, Lauren Miller describes oxytocin as the “love drug” which isn’t exactly true… it’s more of a bonding “drug”. Love is a little but more complicated than oxytocin release. Not that big of a deal, but I thought I’d point it out.

Unfortunately, SynOx has a major role in the plot… and it doesn’t… work. Basically, the big bad corporation is relying on SynOx to make consumers trust their products unconditionally by injecting people with SynOx nanobots under the guise of a flu shot. That way the nanobots can get into their brains and they can be forced to trust everything Lux suggests. Essential mass mind control. Theoretically that could actually work… BUT the nanobots would never be able to cross the blood-brain barrier to actually get into the brain, and therefor wouldn’t be there to allow Gnosis to control people. Did that make sense? Basically, SynOx is the soldier, the brain is enemy headquarters. But enemy headquarters is so highly reinforced that the soldier can’t get in to do its job, so it’s left out in the cold with no power. Maybe I just confused you, but what I’m saying is that this SynOx would never work as a mind control device unless it is injected directly into the brain (or even spinal cord)… through the skull and everything. That being said, the evil plot would have failed form the get-go.

And yes, I do hate being this rational sometimes because suspension of disbelief is very difficult and makes it very hard for me to enjoy some works of fiction.      

Now the little things.

In the synopsis: “Rory Vaugh: a brainy sixteen-year-old…”. She’s also a “hepta” which means she shows aptitude in all seven liberal arts at Theden and makes her the smartest kid at school. Well, she sure doesn’t act it.

She can’t tell the difference between Arabic and Hebrew writing. I mean… are you serious? Have you seen them? They look nothing alike.

Doesn’t see the value of experiments in ethics such as the Trolley Problem. I mean, one of the liberal arts is philosophy and she’s supposed to be naturally gifted at it… but I guess not.

Proudly states she took human anatomy in grade nine (and considers herself an expert from that one class in middle school)… but doesn’t know how ABO relates to blood. I guess she forgot the mention she failed the class.

Also seems to consider herself an expert in genetics but never thinks to ask herself as to why she and her father share zero genetic traits.

She can’t figure out a simple riddle (You know that one about the letter e? Yeah that one)

It takes her forever to figure out who her biological father is (should be glaringly obvious from a certain physical description and all the other evidence Rory gathers)

Doesn’t know what a USB is or what it does (Oh, I’ll get to that in a minute)

There’s so much more… but the review would have to be a whole book if I were to list them all. Basically, if you’re going to call your character a genius, MAKE SURE THEY ACT LIKE ONE.

It seems that Lauren Miller forgot Rory’s blood type (little detail, I know), but instead of going back to look at what she wrote, she just gives her a new blood type. Rory goes from being A+ at p .226 to being AB+ at p. 237/238. That’s just lazy.

When Rory finds out the man that raised her and loved her doesn’t share her genetics, all of a sudden, he’s no longer her dad. Imagine being a vulnerable teenager who is being raised and loved by someone who may not be biologically related to you and reading that a character you may look up to goes through the same thing and says that that makes that parent’s love irrelevant. They aren’t related to you, so they’re not your dad/mum. How sad. 

Now, the USB thing. This book is set in the mid-2030s and they don’t use USBs anymore. Basically, they’re obsolete technology. And that’s fine! There will come a day when this is a reality. Here’s the thing, though: Rory the “genius” doesn’t know what it is or what it does. You expect me to believe that? When I see a floppy disk (which I have never used), I know what it is and how it works. Even a telegraph! I’ve only ever seen pictures of telegraphs, but I know what they are and what they do.

Page 229. North says (in response to Rory talking about research and science):

“Whose research are we talking about here?” He scoffed. “’Science’ with a capital S? The same geniuses who said the Earth was the center of the universe?”

Um… the church actually said that. And then they murdered anyone who dared to say otherwise. Wrong “geniuses”, genius. (Also, scientists rethink their beliefs all the time, and are more than willing to accept discoveries that overwrite their previous beliefs as long as there is evidence. Just saying.)

Rory goes from relying solely on Lux to make her decision to criticizing everyone who does the exact same thing within a few pages. Hypocrisy, not my favourite.

Hershey is described as a naturally beautiful woman who wears makeup to highlight that beauty… but the tone of the narration suggests that that’s a bad thing? Gross.

When they are preparing for the final boss fight, Rory wants North to write an algorithm that will reverse Lux’s algorithm. North says that it would take weeks for a professional programmer to write an algorithm like that… than proceeds to do it overnight. And manages to get some roofies to assault Liam.

North gifts Rory with a necklace that contains a tracking device and a camera… and she thinks that’s romantic and sweet because hE cArEs. I… have no words for how creepy (and honestly bordering on abusive) that is.

So, in conclusion, I feel that Lauren Miller wrote an offensive mess that didn’t know what the hell it was talking about, topped with despicable (and flat) characters that think drugging someone against their will is okay as long as the drug you use is legal.

The end! 😊

Oh yeah, 1 out of 5 stars!

[storiesofabuse-blog]

About me

‪Hey y’all I’m not sure if this will take off but I wanted a place where I could share everything I’ve been through and help to destigmatize mental illnesses. A little bit about me: I’m a sophomore at the University of Rochester, I’m studying cancer biology, and have general anxiety disorder, major depression disorder, and ptsd from emotional and physical abuse from my father. My illnesses have shaped me and I am proud of the person that I’ve become as a result of them. They’ve made me more empathetic, understanding, and kind, and even though they can suck ass sometimes (most of the time) I want to be able to accept those parts of me as much as I do the nerdy, artistic, and fun loving bits. I want to share my stories to show that everyone is valid; with and without mental illnesses.

[sapphictime]

u know what  fuck it 

im done letting my unmotivated depressed as fuck ass stay unmotivated  tomorrow, moment i wake up, im done. im cleaning the fuck out my room. my bathroom. do the shit that needs doing. stop neglecting the shit thats been neglected 

im sick of my mental illness, stress, and fears controlling everything i do. 

im sick of feeling sorry for myself and horrible because im 19 and still living w/ my parents(which, in truth, isn’t even that weird. it’s more common than some think in north america, and even completely normalized and destigmatized in some countries). 

im sick of worrying about job callbacks. ill apply to what i feel would work and wait. put the work into a cover letter more often to boost my chances.

go for walks more often. work on getting into college. maybe even try to establish a gym routine, take up boxing classes or something.

anything and everything i want and need. im done being controlled.

[diehard-fangirl]

DOWN & DIRTY QUICKIE REVIEW!

One Sentence Summary:

She’s his rebellious, Japanese-American ex & he’s forbidden from loving her because of a jackass dad & a family betrayal; ROMEO & JULIET WITH AN HEA, YALL!

Name That Trope:

2nd Chance Romance, Enemies To Lovers, Groveling Hero

What part made you fangirl squeal:

 MR HERO’S BEAUTIFUL, SWEET, GRAND ROMANTIC LOVE GESTURE?! Holy. Shit sticks! My heart popped right outta my chesticles.

Any and every time Livvy threw epic sass at our hero.

Nicholas being so overwhelmingly in love with Livvy that it’s earth shattering.

Dat sismance! Girls protecting girls from fuckbois in bars? Girls threatening dudes that hurt their friends? More of this, yes, please, thank you.

Favorite Character:

Ok first, you gotta clone me. Good! Now Clone One says Livvy for her tough-cookie outer shell with her shattered, depressed heart. Clone Two says Sadia, Livvy’s friend, for her protective nature, lush curves, & sweetie pie butt. 

How smexy was the smex?

If ya don’t wear fire retardant panties then you gonna get a scorched vjayjay! These 2 got erotically hot bed dialogue while rocking sexy internal thinking thoughts; I WAS SHOOKETH! Ain’t no bed choreography gymnastics here, their sex DOES plot stuff & romance stuff!

Whose Line Is It Anyway:

“Society tells women that they have to be responsible for the emotional health of their relationships and then tells them they’re weak for feeling emotions. What kind of message is that?” - Madie, Livvy’s aunt

Nicholas: Do you do that often? Disfigure men? 

Livvy: Twice on Tuesdays.

Got any bitching to do?

IT FUCKING ENDED, HOW DARE YOU, BOOK!? lol Nah, my only real criticism ain’t a critique. 2nd Chance Romances don’t let ya witness the OTP falling in love. So here, Livvy & Nicholas are already in love...& denial. The book show them working through emotional parental abuse, blackmail, death, and betrayal. IT’S ANGSTY CRACK THAT AIN’T DEPRESSING!

Visually Depict Yo Book Feels:

Famous last words:

I ain’t got enough words to say how epic damn good this book be! 2nd Chance Romance is my anti-catnip & here I am, fangirling! Our OTP split for reasons that don’t undermine their love, nor do they reunite for reasons that diminish that breakup. There’s hot sex, a groveling heroine, a kick ass heroine...There’s racism & sexism commentary & destigmatized mental illness. I laughed, I cried, I FANGIRLED!

-------------------------------------------

For a more in depth, LOL-fest discussion on romance novels and romance Asian dramas, HERE BE MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL!

[njawaidofficial]

Dr. Phil Reveals He Broke Six Ribs This Summer

http://styleveryday.com/2017/09/08/dr-phil-reveals-he-broke-six-ribs-this-summer/

Dr. Phil Reveals He Broke Six Ribs This Summer

8:50 AM PDT 9/7/2017 by Katherine Schaffstall

The television personality also previewed his interview with Sinead O’Connor and talked about President Trump while visiting ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live!’

Dr. Phil McGraw made a serious revelation last night when he visited Jimmy Kimmel Live!

While promoting the 16th season of his talk show, Dr. Phil, the television personality shared that he broke six ribs during a dirt bike accident this summer.

McGraw prefaced his story by stating that he has many friends who are stuntmen in Hollywood. While doing a wheelie on a motocross bike, he almost ran into a palm tree, and he fell off. Along with the six broken ribs, McGraw also crushed his right shoulder and bruised his lungs. 

When Kimmel asked if McGraw has ever considered that he should no longer ride dirt bikes, he conceded that he’s no longer a young man.

“When I was 20, you know, you could take a bullet in the shoulder and, you know, by morning you kind of shake it off and you’re fine,” McGraw said. “Now I get a hangnail and it’s a month, you know, before you’re any better.”

After calling a friend in the medical profession, McGraw quickly learned that he had to go to the hospital for his injuries. When asked if he’s OK now, McGraw responded, “Compared to then, yeah.” He then revealed that he filmed 25 episodes of Dr. Phil before he was able to get his shoulder operated on. 

Kimmel joked that McGraw is a true hero, to which the psychologist said, “Hero, my ass.” He then revealed that as soon as the filming of his show came to an end he “was whining like a 10-year-old girl in a haunted house.” 

Watch McGraw tell the full story below.

Earlier in the interview McGraw previewed that the upcoming season of his syndicated talk show will include a talk with Sinead O’Connor. Following the singer’s highly publicized difficult times, O’Connor reached out to McGraw for help. According to McGraw, O’Connor’s goal by appearing on the show is to “destigmatize mental illness.”

Kimmel also asked the TV doctor to diagnose President Trump’s mental health, with McGraw ultimately demurring. After stating that he has known Trump for a long time, he asked Kimmel if he’d agree that Trump “lacks diplomacy” and has an impulse-control problem. Kimmel agreed with both.

“I think if you go look up certain personality disorders, you might see some of those things appear,” McGraw said, adding he couldn’t make a full diagnosis. “I can’t diagnose him because I haven’t done the proper evaluations. It would be irresponsible.”

[rotationalsymmetry]

Returning to the theme of “what goes on in your life is news”…

I don’t have my skepticism glasses on with articles like these. (About the harm of responding to opioid addiction by getting doctors to prescribe fewer opioids.) And the reason why is, I’ve encountered this problem in my own circle of people I know. Not with a chronic pain condition fortunately or with forced tapering, but just one time when someone I knew was in pain from surgery and casually mentioned one time he was having trouble getting his refill on time that he didn’t want to get seen as drug seeking. (I don’t remember the details but I think the consequence was he got less medication than he needed for a bit.) The fear of being written off as an addict affects huge swaths of people, far beyond the number of people who actually get directly denied medication due to being seen as drug seeking.

And it makes sense! The possible consequences of getting that put on your chart…there’s a risk of getting stuck with a chronic pain condition and never being free of pain again, when the medications are there and you just aren’t allowed to have them. Of course people will go to great lengths to avoid that risk. Especially people who have already had the experience of being treated as less than fully human by other people and by institutions.

I’ve heard so many stories of health care disasters in the US and health care “wait, that’s it?” experiences in countries with socialized medicine. Guess where I stand on that issue. News articles didn’t convince me. People’s experiences did.

You know how I got to where I stand on intentional weight loss? Sure, I read some stuff, but the reason I believed that stuff is because my mom dieted on and off throughout my childhood, so when I encountered the narrative of “yeah, dieting leads to short term weight loss, but the vast majority of people don’t keep the weight off over time, even when they’re responsible people who try really hard” that was consistent with what I’d seen. I didn’t need studies (although, there are a metric shit ton of studies cited in Health At Every Size (the book)), I could just think about the people I knew and what their experiences were.

(My dad is about as skinny as he was in my baby pictures, even though my mom is the one who watches what she eats and Dad has never dieted in his life. I can see a utter lack of cause and effect when it’s staring me in the face.) (this is why many people find “fat is good, actually” diets compelling btw — they know low fat dieting didn’t work, but “maybe that specific dieting advice was wrong” fits the same data points pretty well too.)

You know what’s been getting me really pissed off about landlords? Living in apartment buildings.

You know why I became an anarchist? Because I was a good kid and I always did what I told and I got fucked up anyways. And then I read a book explaining how I got fucked up. And it made sense.

You know why I’m a feminist? Because I’ve had my ass grabbed by strangers, and because I don’t like shaving my armpit hair but you can’t just not shave your armpit hair as someone who looks like a woman without getting responses from people. And because I got pressured into a haircut I didn’t like in seventh grade. And if you think “well, it’s just a haircut” then you don’t understand anything about people.

I’m against school bullying because I was bullied. Because I know what it’s like. Because people I know and care about have been bullied. Because people I know of have died.

I’m against rape and for attempts to actively fight back against rape culture and create cultures based on consent and respect for bodily autonomy because, check as many as you like, I was raped, my friends was raped and she closed off emotionally and I lost my friend because some other asshole raped her, because I’ve heard an awful lot of personal stories about people (mostly but not exclusively women) getting raped and the aftereffects of that.

I care about community because I’ve spent a lot of my life being lonely.

I care about disability because I’m disabled. That’s not great, I wish I’d made it a priority earlier. (I wasn’t, like, against disability rights, I didn’t harass part time wheelchair users or whatever, but this is the sort of thing where most problems are actually caused by indifference, not active malice.) But I’m here now, and I’m here because being disabled sucks, and because only some of the suckitude is due to the conditions themselves. And at least now that I am here I’m trying to be solid on the “your struggle is my struggle” thing — I don’t have chronic pain but I’m for the rights of people who have chronic pain, I’m not developmentally disabled but I’m working to change my assumptions about people who are and I’m speaking up for developmentally disabled children and adults, I’ve never had any of the “scarier” mental illnesses (uh, that I’m aware of, I mean how do you know that you don’t have say a personality disorder) but I’m for destigmatizing all mental illnesses and I’m taking time to learn more and I’m for all people with mental illnesses getting assistance with activities of daily living when they need that. Even if it’s not obvious why food and showers and tooth brushing are not happening, the important thing is that they happen even if that means paying someone to make sure it gets done.

[laniakeabooks]

ReWired by S.R. Johannes

Let me just say that because this is a personal blog, I took the opportunity to go fucking ham on this book and rip it to fucking sherds. If you’d like to read a nicer review with no swearing, check out my review on Goodreads. I actually sound like a decent and professional person over there. If you’d like to see what I really thought about the book in its unabridged version, please continue here. But thanks to NetGalley and the publishers for providing me with a copy of the book in exchange for and HONEST review.

Genre: is flop a genre? No? Well it’s listed as a Thriller, but let me tell you, I was NOT thrilled

Okay first of all, Ada Lovelace? That’s the name you’re going to go with? Seriously that’s like a hooker name or something (if you’re name is Ada Lovelace, I’m sorry and I’m sure you’re a lovely person, but you got stuck with a shit name).

I wish I could just show you the notes I took right on my Kindle (most of which were a single word: idiot), but alas I had a PDF document and the comments don’t get posted to Goodreads soooooo I’ll just have to tell you the gist of it.

So here is the tl;dr review: I’m Ada Lovelace! I’m a really good hacker and always cover my steps! Oh, shit the FBI found me out! Instead of prison I have to go to technology addiction rehab. I love being cruel to the other teens stuck in the same place as me, saying totally asshole-y insensitive shit. I think I’m really smart, but I’m actually a fucking dolt. I couldn’t see the plot-twist of my own story coming even if it punched me in the fucking brain.

Yeah. If I ever become as stupid as Ada, just fucking put me out of my misery.

We’re stuck in her head for the ENTIRE BOOK.

The underlying plot is pretty much social media bad, old world good. Yeah. Thrilling. Ada and her group of hacktivists (I hate that word) “The Orwellians” uncover that the foremost social media platform, SocialNet (I think that’s what it’s called I don’t care enough to go back and check) is doing some sketchy shit. So, Ada tries to hack into their main servers (because she’s the best!) and gets caught by the FBI (okay… maybe she’s not the best).

To avoid humiliating her senator father, who also happens to be trying to pass a cyber-security bill, she opts to head to rehab for kids addicted to technology (oh for fuck sakes).

In rehab, dubbed Reboot, she meets the flattest cast of characters to ever exist:

- There’s the grumpy goth hacker-girl Raven. She’s unique because she has pink hair.

- Becca, the bubbly, chocolate-loving cheerleader who wears velour track suits with words printed across her ass. She’s at Reboot for cyberbullying.

- Andrew, shit, no, Varian, who is also goth-y and who takes WoW waaaay too seriously. He actually turned out to be my favourite though…

- There’s mute Crash who is at Reboot because he hasn’t talked in a year and only writes notes in email format. He’s mute because he thinks he killed his sister. He didn’t. That’s not a spoiler.

And finally,

-   Fisher, the mandatory love interest. He’s cute and nerdy with washboard abs. But he has glasses so that makes him unique.

After that, we spend over half the book hearing (reading) Ada complain about being in “hell”.

She almost dies EVERY. DAY. She almost gets shot with a fucking marble by Varian (see why I like him?), nearly falls to her death on a ropes course, and nearly gets burnt to a crisp when someone burns down a computer lab on the strictly “computer-free” Reboot campus. Oh yeah then she nearly gets straight-up murdered like ten times by the CEO of SocialNet. Oops… I guess that’s a spoiler? No just kidding, it’s not, they tell you the CEO is a shady motherfucker from the very beginning (but Ada doesn’t know that until he basically tells her right before he attempts to murder her). Yeah, I was cheering the bad guy on by this point.

Johannes doesn’t really seem to understand what mental illness entails, and it would have taken five seconds of research to figure it out. If you didn’t know, I am a huge advocated for destigmatizing mental health and hate when people (whoever they may be) perpetrate the stigma to fit their own agenda, storyline, or whatever the fuck it may be.

So yeah, pretty much that’s it. It seems that there is a sequel being set up by the last chapter, but I hope to fuck it doesn’t happen.

Oh yeah, it also took Johannes FOUR YEARS to write this. Four years wasted unfortunately. Of course, this is my opinion, and you are entitled to your own. I left out like fifty of the other “plot twists” so if you want to read and discover them yourself, be my guest. It’s just that you’ll see them coming and you’ll get frustrated when Ada can’t figure it the fuck out and dumbly walks straight into danger (you’ll want her to though).

So yeah, that’s it. I have to admit, I did actually enjoy raging about this book. I’d be sitting outside my exam room waiting to go in and everyone around me would be studying and stressing out, but I’d be decompressing from said study-stress by realizing that if Ada is still alive at the end of this book (although I do know this is just a book), I can pass my exam.

So yeah, that’s it. Bye book!

Oh and final verdict, 1/5.