#did i spend my saturday night working on this? you bet

[identityfilm]

"You are the mother of the year, mother of the day, mother of the hour, mother of the week... Honey, it's just mother season, mother's day!" - Kerri Colby

SASHA COLBY in the Werk Room RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 15

[thebisexualdogdad]

Dating Celina Juarez headcanons (GN!reader)

● Celina didn't feel the need to talk about her personal life at work

● which is why everyone thought she and Aaron had started seeing each other and tried to warn them about dating fellow cops

● Aaron "are you sure about this?"

● Celina to Nolan "we should come clean, Aaron and I have indeed gotten close… playing dnd with my partner whose right out there"

● she points to you standing in the station lobby waiting to drive her home after her shift

● you see her through the window and smile and wave at her

● Celina patting Aaron on the shoulder "see you Saturday for our next session"

● she leaves Nolan very confused about the whole thing "the entire time Celina was staying with me and Bailey not once did she mention she was dating someone"

● Aaron "Oh yeah I think they got into an argument that week mercury was in retrograde afterall"

● John "mercury was in what??"

● speaking of, just like Celina you have your entire astrological chart memorized

● and regularly see psychics, tarot readers, spiritual healers etc to keep everything in balance

● you and Celina going to all sorts of comic cons

● and you always cosplay together

● you even get Aaron to go with you to a convention

● but he refuses to dress up with you guys

● you "but I made you a costume that goes with ours??"

● Aaron "yeah no thanks the only time I dress up in a costume is for halloween"

● Celina "that's great we'll save it for next halloween"

● Aaron "... sure we can do that"

● Celina coming home with cuts and bruises

● "another exciting day at work?"

● "just another holding cell brawl"

● "I bet you kicked all their asses"

● "damn right"

● Nolan invites you two over for dinner to officially meet

● he ends up having to spend the entire night listening to you and Celina talk about all the crystals Bailey should get and all of the very specific purposes they have

● Celina "so did you ever look into the history of your house?"

● Nolan "no I've been meaning to get to that…"

● you "Oh if you need help I know some local historians who can tell you if anyone died on the property, there was some bad energy in our place when we moved in, turned out a guy died from a heart attack in it ten years prior, saged him right out and it's been good ever since… I didn't want to say anything but I did get a bit of a weird vibe when I first walked in"

● Nolan "you two really are made for each other aren't you"

[potato-jem]

hello nero my beloved soulmate!!!

i have pride stories!!! i went to pride this saturday and it was so much fun i need to tell you all about it!!!

well first of all i really hate that i had to work in the morning because it made me so tired and it was the first weekend of sales so yea, not fun. but anyway, my friend picked me up at 3pm and we got to florence. we had to park pretty far from the meeting point and then take a bus, and it was amazing because we were totally lost looking for that bus and at some point we see a bus full of people with rainbow flags, glitter, signs, flower crowns, rainbow stickers and temporary tattoos and all of that. and we just went in, no questions asked. we just figured we’d follow them out of the bus too 😂 i love our people honestly. we were so colorful

anyway we got to the meeting point and it was deadly hot. i swear there were like 45 degrees. but it was so amazing to be around all of those people dressed in all colors and wearing all sorts of things we’d usually be judged for, it felt so safe. except that there was a religious protestor so we got to give him the finger like the heartstopper cast did :)

also my sister came with me. she’s always so supportive and it meant the world that she came with me. anyway the parade started and there were some amazing floats. there were rainbow families, drag queens, all the lgbtqia+ associations from our territory and we started walking behind this float that had amazing music, so we started dancing and singing and it was so much fun!!! we got to talking with some people, there were some amazing signs that were just perfect and i had to go there and tell them how much i loved them :) it was just so fun, i loved meeting random people and it was just the perfect environment. at night there was also a dj set and a band singing to keep the show going!!

then when we were walking back to the bus stop at night we got the whiplash of not being surrounded by queer people anymore. we got catcalled like fifteen times in the span of three minutes. i kinda wanted to punch everyone because we had such a perfect day and i hated that we had to go back to the real world where people are shit 🥲

but still i got so many amazing memories and now all i want to do is book a flight to london for next year and have you come with me so we can celebrate together and see the heartstopper cast!!!!

also, i got a new tattoo yesterday!! and i actually had red white and royal blue with me to distract me so i almost finished the book again and cried in from of my tattoo artist lol it took me the whole day again and it was so painful but so worth it!!! i got medusa on my leg 😻

also, as to our previous letter i just wanted to say that of course i believed in you!!!! i knew you could do it!! but i can definitely believe you had to close your eyes to open that message 😂 getting grades back is always so stressful!! now manifesting a spot for the exchange 🕯️🕯️🕯️ i really hope you get it!!! it’s an amazing experience, you’d definitely love it!!!

and i’m really glad you found someone who specialises in what you need. it can take a while to find the right therapist but i hope this one works out!!

(i’m also writing down sydney and melbourne for when i’m rich enough to visit 😂 i literally booked a flight for august and my bank account kinda yelled at me to stop spending money i don’t have lol)

anyways i’m really sorry i’ve been away for so long, i had a crazy week between the beginning of seasonal sales, pride and the tattoo appointment. i kinda didn’t have time to do anything 🥲

i’m giving you a hug and some homemade chocolate chip cookies with biscoff cream on top <33

hello cece my beloved soulmate!!!!

oh my god i've been so excited to hear about this!!!

that sucks you had to go to work, boo!!! but at least you were off early enough to still go to pride!!!! and how cool that you got to share the experience of going on the bus with all the queer people!! i bet there was no straight and/or cis people on that bus 😂😂😂 just follow the rainbow!!

hot days are the worst, but pride would have made it so much better. i would not be focused on how sweaty i was or the temperature with the amount of queer joy happening around me! it's so wonderful that in a parade full of people and colour that you were able to feel so incredibly safe, and it would have been such an intimate moment for you! and fuck that religious protestor, i'm so glad you gave him the finger. the heartstopper cast would be so proud of you :')

oh that warms my heart that your sister came!!! that was so nice of her to come with you!! the floats sound amazing, and the singing and dancing!!! i am feeling some of the joy through my screen!! seriously, cece, this sounds like the most incredible time. i want to cry just thinking about you having so much fun with your friend and your sister, celebrating your queerness and talking to new people and singing and dancing like there's no one else around 🥲🥲🥲

the trip home must have been so dull in comparison! and how dare those people catcall you, i hope you gave them the same treatment as that religious protestor because seriously what the fuck.

the only thing that matters now is that you had a safe and wonderful time at pride and you can cherish those memories for the rest of your life! and yes, we must do it!! i will literally stay for an extra month just to go to pride in london with you <3

oh my god yay!!! i bet the medusa tattoo looks so cool! and yes reading rwrb while getting tattooed is properly not your best idea, but i'm already rereading rwrb any chance i get to annotate it fully before the movie so i can't say much 😂

okay, cece, i must let you know, because i said to myself i would let you know as soon as i could. but this morning, i woke up (quite late actually). i checked my watch for my notifications. i see an email waiting for me. i die a little inside realising it is from the exchange team at my university. i run out to grab my phone from where i charge it. i speed past my mum. i unlock my phone. i open my email and click on the newest one. and.... I GOT A SPOT EARLY!!! AT MY FIRST UNIVERSITY TOO!!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT??? i'm still in so much shock and i thank you for your manifesting and belief in me!!! oh my god i have so much to do before then (mostly saving money ngl 😂) but oh my god cece, i'm going to england for exchange!!!!!!

me too!! i just need to find the time to get a referral, so i can go and see them!!

(literally sydney and melbourne are lowkey expensive, but it is totally worth it!! and i would be more than happy to tell you where to go and where to stay! <3)

do not apologise!!! we are all busy! i am literally working the equivalent of a full time job over the next two weeks and i'm also dogsitting over the weekend :') pray for my poor soul.

i'm giving you the biggest hug i hope contains the same warmth as pride and i'm fighting off your customers so you can have a few moments to breathe <3333

[nice-bright-colors]

Saturday, and all the shit that went wrong today:

Slept in, because I didn’t fall asleep until 4:00 AM. Missed my morning window for the gym.

Then proceeded to miss my early afternoon window for the gym.

Had a lengthy conversation with The Wife ™️ about all sorts of issues I’m having. Mostly about how I haven’t brought in that much money the last few months. Plus how much we’ve been spending the last few months.

Ironically then bought a $65 water filter for the refrigerator, because we just got an email saying the management company isn’t covering them anymore. Cost of materials and products is still on the rise yo. Finally got the fucking beeping to stop.

Attempted to download and upgrade my navigation in my Subie. Then the entire Starlink system froze and would not shut down and reboot. Turns out the “unplug it and plug it back in” method for a car is to disconnect the negative terminal on the battery. It worked, and probably saved me $75/ hr at the Dealer to get it fixed.

I only have (1) beer left in the house, so I’m drinking up all the vermouth in the refrigerator. But at least I now have a backup camera that works in my car. Problem is I don’t want to go to the liquor store or any breweries, because money, well and Saturday night people.

Did I ever mention there’s no such thing as (1) drink in my world?

I haven’t shaved in (11) days. Maybe if I surprise her with that option she’ll want to straddle my face later. Fingers crossed, but I wouldn’t bet the farm.

I have created a long reading list of books for this year, hopefully I’ll get some extra income soon to make that a reality.

Now I have to figure out how to order prints online via my local camera shop…so she can finish her shadow box project for Jack with pictures of Maggie. I miss the old kiosks that were broke down have the time.

What did we ever do before digital cameras and back up cameras in car? I know, I know … now get off my lawn.

Rescheduled my photography trek to Sunday (sunny & warm), now I just need to figure out where I want to go, and what I want to shoot. Then again, something is probably going to fuck up that program come tomorrow.

Something always fucks up my program. I’m just so tired of living in between the fucking of the programs.

Would you look at that…my glass is empty. Time for another little drinkie poo.

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[random-introverted-blog]

Flickers of Loss - Part 2 | Coming to a tumblr blog near you

It me, it us, this blog.

I made the preparations last night but only started drafting (and winging the hell out of) a part 2 to Flickers of Loss Thursday night when I uploaded it to AO3 - Here, if you prefer to read there - and like, three peeps asked nicely for it. The idea had crossed my mind several times and I was going to write more anyways but for myself.

If you'd like to read it or reread the first part, the link is - Flickers of Loss - there

Didn't expect people to be invested enough to ask.

That said; Part 2 is called No More, and is scheduled to upload Saturday, December 16th at 6:30 P.M Eastern Standard Time.

You can thank AO3 for it, specifically ME over there (shoutout to one of my more frequent flyers). Was like, three people who won me over to write and post this.

If you missed it, the teaser screenie from my writing software is here.

For the question no one asked and I'm purposely leaving on the bottom here: "What about Across Stars and Time?"

I'm still tapping my chin on it but Christmas is coming up and I do intend to spend more time with family, friends and my partner (hi love).

This is another one I didn't really see myself revisiting. I wrote the ending the way I did because while it is Ascended!Astarion on his shit again, few people actually enjoy a downer ending. So I wrote it open ended so you, the reader, could envision whatever you hoped would happen after. Does Spawn!Astarion find you? Will he survive a second confrontation? What happens to you in that time? What's Ascended!Astarions world like (he did emphasize he's High Lord Astarion Ancunin...) and it was left for you to decide.

Of course I had plenty of ideas, I threw out plenty of little things plot devices but that was again, to provide you the tools necessary to devise your own happy/depressing ending.

The way things are looking, a Part 2 (or even, gasp a full/long fic) of Across Stars and Time is likely/imminent in the relative future. Probably under a different name, because then the story would outgrow the title.

As for a Part 3 of Flickers of Loss/continuation of No More? Can safely start taking bets and crossing your fingers. Again, it depends on how invested people are. I can write happily for myself. Posting it is for peoples enjoyment and happiness. If there's neither of these present, there's no need to work on editing/planning/drafting more for a nonexistent audience.

[munson-blurbs]

hi bug! congratulations again on being un-glitched! I loooooved the headcanons you wrote last night about eddie and his hippie vegan girlfriend. I would LOVE to hear more about their first meeting outside the record shop, if you feel inspired to write more abt these two! you built such a fun lil world for the two of them, i just can't get enough! 💖

Anything for you, bb <3

For the purposes of historical accuracy, this takes place in 1991. Eddie + reader are 24.

WC: 647

--

Eddie had just planned to spend his Saturdays like he normally did: scouring the record store for any new releases. He loved finding underground bands that weren't really popular yet, playing their music while he worked at the auto shop during the week.

He wasn't expecting a small gathering of protesters to greet him outside, the leader of which was a really, really pretty girl.

"What's going on out there?" Eddie asks Hal, the manager, once he makes his way into the store.

"Protesting the Gulf War," Hal says. "They asked if they could use the parking lot, and I wasn't about to say no to that cause." Hal was a total hippie at heart; anti-establishment, constantly stoned, wearing tie-dye, and plastering peace signs around his office. "'Sides, we don't have anything big coming in this weekend."

Eddie nods; he'd overheard updates about the war on the radio, but had no idea that people in Hawkins were protesting it. It was more of a "shoot first, ask questions later" rather than a "make love, not war" kind of town.

"And, uh, the girl out there? In the front?" He tries to sound nonchalant as he asks, drumming his fingers on the countertop.

Hal laughs knowingly. "She's a cutie, isn't she?" he winks. "Don't know too much about her, but she seems like your type--stubborn with a heart of gold."

That's all Eddie needs to hear; he's out the door and standing alongside you before Hal can even process that he's gone.

"Hey," he greets you, taking a hand out of his pocket to shake yours. "I'm Eddie. You got any more of these signs?"

"Y/N," you reply, smiling at the lovestruck metalhead. "There should be some in that box back there," you tell him, motioning behind you.

Eddie chooses one that says "Fuck Your War" in big block letters. "Short, sweet, and to the point, huh?" he whispers to you, and he swells with pride when you laugh.

He spends the next hour chanting various anti-war sentiments. When a middle-aged man gets in your face, screaming about how Bush is the best president this country's ever seen, Eddie steps between you and him and pushes the guy away.

"Who the fuck does he think he is? Bet he wouldn't try that shit if you weren't young and cute."

You wrinkle your nose. "I'm not cute," you challenge, "I am very scary."

Eddie holds up his hands in surrender. "You're right, you're right. I'm terrified right now."

"Too late," you pout, feigning offense. "You have hurt my feelings beyond repair."

"Beyond repair?" Eddie chuckles. "There's nothing I can do to fix it?"

"Nope."

"What about if I take you out for pizza?" he asks hopefully. "In my experience, pizza heals all wounds."

"Actually," you tell him, bracing yourself for an onslaught of insults, "I'm vegan. So unless you find a pizzeria that doesn't serve cheese..."

His brow furrows in confusion. "Wait, you've never had sex?" he blurts out. "What does that have to do with pizza?"

You burst out laughing; you can't help it. "A vegan, Eddie, not a virgin. I am most definitely not one of those." He blushes at your honesty. "I don't eat any animal products. No meat, no dairy, no eggs."

"Oh," he nods slowly. "So what can you eat?"

"Pretty much anything else!" you say cheerfully. "There's actually a really good vegetarian restaurant that opened a few months ago. They have the best veggie burgers I've ever tasted, and their fries are incredible."

"So let's go there," he decides, and without thinking, he takes your hand in his. "Right after we finish up here, yeah?"

"I'd like that," you say, beaming at him. He looks at you and smiles right back.

She's like my little hippie princess, he thinks, though it'll be a few more dates until he actually calls you that.

--

[lt-natrace]

“i just wanted to say thank you for protecting me.” with rhett 🥹🫶🏼

shelby my dear, the scream i let out when i saw this...insane

content warning: men being creepy/not taking a hint, violence and blood

Going out for drinks with your girlfriends has become a routine of sorts. You all worked long hours and liked to use Saturday night as a way to let loose a little before the week started again. There was only one bar in your small town and it had the same crowd every weekend but you found comfort in it. However, every now and then there would be someone from out of town that stopped in and would spend the night trying to blend in but everyone could see right through it. Most times you would entertain them and the horrible pick up lines but not tonight.

“Sweetheart!” The stranger yelled in an attempt to get your attention after you dodged his eye contact multiple times.

You rolled your eyes towards your friends before turning on the stool to face him, “Hi”

He took the opportunity to box you in with his arms, his cologne choking you “I asked you what a pretty thing like you was doing in a shithole like this.”

“Listen, I’m just here with some friends and-” you tried to let him down in a kind tone, hoping he would let it go, but he cut you off.

“I didn’t say we had to date,” he laughed as he leaned in closer, his arms still on either side of you, “I was just hoping we could have a little fun.”

By this point your tense figure and attempts to lean away from him had caught the attention of a few patrons. Conversations around you had stopped and the noise level in the bar had decreased substantially as everyone observed. A few of the men in the bar had begun to stand up and one you’d met a few times, Rhett Abbott, caught your attention. You sent pleading eyes his way and he immediately made his way over. 

“Hey man”, Rhett started as he clapped his hand on the man’s shoulder, “you must not be from the area because around here we respect our women.”

The man’s face became angry and he turned to make eye contact with Rhett. Despite the man being bigger than Rhett, he didn’t back down. He leaned in close to Rhett, “All that respecting women talk, you’d think you’d let her speak for herself, huh?” before turning back to get your response.

You had turned your body sideways so you weren’t facing him and this only angered him more. Before you could react, he threw a fist in Rhett’s direction, causing you to flinch back. Rhett dodged the punch and grabbed his arm to twist it behind his back. You suddenly saw how the years of bull riding had made Rhett stronger than he looks. You sat up straight and heard Rhett as he leaned into his ear, “We don’t disrespect women and we sure as hell don’t fight in front of ‘em.” 

As soon as the pair was outside the door, the conversations picked back up and your friends immediately made eyes your way. Of course you found Rhett attractive, you’d be blind if you didn’t, but he wasn’t the kind of man that settled down and that’s what you needed at this point. After a few minutes of convincing, you made your way to the door and found Rhett watching as the man’s truck pulled away. You pushed the door open as Rhett spit out blood onto the ground. Your boots on the gravel got his attention.

He turned and nodded his head to greet you, “apologies ma'am, my dad would kill me if he found out I spit in front of a lady.”

You took a few steps towards him and as you got closer, you saw his injuries. His nose was bleeding and his lip was beginning to swell, “I think your dad would kill you for fighting before he did for spitting.”

“Well that’s probably true,” he started as he let out a laugh and ducked his head before looking back up at you, “but I bet he’d make an exception if he found out it was for helping a pretty girl.”

You took a few more steps so he was close enough to touch, “I just wanted to thank you for protecting me. Anything I can do?”

His eyes met yours and you felt heat rush through your body before he replied in a low voice, “I guess I could use some help cleaning up these cuts, got some gnarly ones.” His gaze turned towards his hands and you lowered your eyes to match what he was looking at.

Rhett was right, his knuckles were dark red with blood that had begun to dry and you’re sure there would be patches of purple and blue underneath. Despite every rational thought in your mind telling you to go back inside and get towels for him, you spoke up, “I have a first aid kit at my house, wouldn’t want it to get infected y’know.”

He looked back to your face with a smirk, “Absolutely not.”

[dancing-to-architecture]

30 - David Bowie - Aladdin Sane (1973)

Bisexual icon. One of my musical heroes.

I'm so glad that the first Bowie album that came up on this was one i actually don't know very well.

One of the albums i never had (and my dad only ever had his 'best of' albums, the poser), but i always liked the aesthetic of this era of Bowie's career.

•Watch That Man-

I'm curious as to how someone "walks like a jerk".

•Aladdin Sane-

I wish Jim Morrison could have learned something from Bowie, namely "it doesn't *have" to rhyme, and forcing a rhyme where one isn't needed just sucks."

This song is piano chaos in the middle. Trying not to be biased here, because it's got some of the same random-ass stuff going on that i hated when The Doors did it. Maybe the fact that it's a real piano helps? Idk. This chaos sounds better than their chaos did.

•Drive-In Saturday-

"It's a crash course for the ravers" likely meant something different 50 years ago than the image it brings to mind now.

Regardless, this one's pretty and the sax is hot.

•Panic in Detroit-

Love this song. Not a happy song, but a really good one, especially since i tend to like a song that tells a story.

•Cracked Actor-

What is with all the songs with lines about blowjobs in the 70s? Had they just been recently invented or something? Everybody seems to have at least one song on an album "cleverly" alluding to getting sucked off.

•Time-

Okay, i can really resonate with lines like: "i look at my watch it says 9:25 and i think 'oh God, am i still alive?' and 'breaking up is hard, but keeping dark is hateful'.

Some occasionally sinister but powerful instrumentation throughout. Stellar guitar work. Outro goes on a bit though.

•The Prettiest Star-

Before this one started, i thought the astronomical body. Thirty seconds in i realized he's talking about a movie star. Kinda doo-woppy, and a little slow, but interesting enough too not feel boring.

•Let's Spend the Night Together-

"Out of my head and my mouths getting dry, I'm h-h-h-high" shit, man, me too.

Simple chorus but catchy enough that that just makes it easy to sing along with, imo. The brief breakdown at the end is great.

•The Jean Genie-

One of my favorites when i was a kid. Still one of my favorites now. Weird as hell, but i just love it.

•Lady Grinning Soul-

When Jim Morrison sang about a woman, it feels lascivious. But when Bowie did, it feels almost like a worship song.

I'm saying: I doubt Morrison ate pussy, but i'd bet money that Bowie did.

Otherwise, this song feels like it's about one of my favorite genres of woman: the kind who would just as quickly kiss you as she would stab you in the neck (E.g. Natalie Dormer 😍).

Favorite Track: The Jean Genie.

Least Favorite Track: Cracked Actor. Blowjobs are great and fun, but I'm already getting so tired of all of the songs about them.

[persephoneflouwers]

I have eyes everywhere. On every blog. 💀 When harry had to cancel some tour dates, the reaction was “Poor babe. He’s sick. I hope he can rest and get well soon 🥺” not a single fan said “he doesn’t give a shit about fans who spent money on plane tickets, hotel, cars, trains, ships, spaceships, ufos etc... now it’s all Louis’ fault. “Fans need an explanation. They need to know why he canceled a whole tour is asia. They need to know. This is so poorly written. His team needs to let fans know. Louis needs to come to my house and tell me why TF he canceled a tour is Asia! His tweet was so fake. He doesn’t care. Why is he acting like he’s canceling a Saturday night with his friends? LOL” and I’m here thinking...you don’t deserve to be his fans. “Leave this guy alone. Forget about him.” At the end of the day, these people can only criticize him. We don’t know what really happened. Why he canceled that tour. It’s wrong that it happened all of a sudden. I feel sorry for his fans. I’m sure he’s sorry too because he Couldn’t wait way to get back on tour. All I see his fake trolls saying “he canceled because he didn’t sell enough tickets” and I’m here saying “he even sold the tickets to your parents!!! That wasn’t the problem!” Something happened. Who knows what. But this “louis is this. Louis is that. I’m so disappointed...” sounds like the usual non larries/louies pretending to be fans. Just to spread hate. And certain blogs let them do that.

You were doing so great lmao then you dropped the “you don’t deserve to be his fan” and fucking hell, nope nope nope. You don’t get to say things like this. I’m sorry, but there are upset people who haven’t ever had the chance to see him. So, if they are disappointed for how poorly it all was managed, they have all the rights. We need to stop with these excuses. They’re big boys who know the pressure they are under.

He’s always there saying he loves his fans, he owns his fans everything and wouldn’t be here without them and then when unforeseen circumstances happen, it’s 🦗🦗🦗🦗. It’s a tweet, guys. It takes 2 minutes tops to type 140 characters on twitter where you mention 1. Your Asian fans 2. What was wrong. As I said in tags, he really went on instagram posting his xrays to say he was sorry for the London shows, but when a whole tour leg is cancelled, you type… that? People will find it weird. People will be upset. The fandom police should stop saying “you’re less of a fan for saying this or saying that” because fuck it, that’s not how it works. I think explaining what went wrong would do him no harm, because fans would understand and support him next time he goes in Asia, for example. You don’t have to say the actual truth… you have to sound credible and honest. That’s it. Otherwise next time your fans will think twice to spend money on your tickets, knowing there is a possibility for whatever reason that the show will be cancelled. Because the problem is not about the tickets per se, it’s all that comes with a show: booking hotels, flights, trains or whatever. And fine, that’s our problem if the show gets cancelled but you bet I would overthink until the next time I book something again for another show in general lol this is not a cult. You don’t happen to be blindly devoted, you have to pay back the support and loyalty with respect and empathy.

Don’t get me wrong. Things like this happen all the time. My maneskin show was postponed like three times for two years. Lewis Capaldi postponed it too. Shawn cancelled his tour, Stromae did et cetera et cetera. But he was in Tokyo saying he was excited for tour just a few weeks ago and now this? It’s upsetting and of course people will demand answers. Some people act like this privacy thing is the biggest deal ffs it’s just about being professional.

And I agree with the pressure part. I said it in tags a few posts below. It is tiring to always have to defend him from people calling him a flop or asking too much from him, but saying something more about why all of your shows in Asia got cancelled? This is not too much.

[pandapetals]

the sleepover - part two

1985 - Eddie Munson Fic

find all the parts here

eddie munson x fem!oc - no smut, fluff, original character name, cussing, flirting, one bed trope, mentions of death, mentions of drug use

a/n: hi! this is part two of my fic saturday morning detention. i think there will be maybe four parts in total, not sure yet. i promise some smut is coming. i like a build-up first. 

word count: 3.9k

a few weeks later…

Life had changed for Blaire in the best possible way after talking to Eddie in detention. She no longer sat in the cafeteria by herself, instead, she was surrounded by members of the hellfire club on some days. While she didn’t know them all personally, they were nice to her. It felt good to not be alone anymore. But Blaire preferred her other lunch period. 

That lunch period was spent with Eddie, just the two of them. 

Eddie sat across from her picking at his lunch as Blaire rushed through the last page of homework she had forgotten to do the previous night. “Do you have to do that right now?” Eddie whined sliding his tray away from him. 

Blaire quickly looked up, “Yes! I have algebra next period so I have to finish before lunch is over.” She protested skipping the math problems she didn’t know. 

“Since when did you become so worried about school? I thought we didn’t care about this shit?” 

“I always cared about school, remember? You were the one who said it didn’t matter.” Blaire reminded Eddie which caused him to huff in annoyance. 

“Right. I just thought we agreed that lunch would be spent planning for D&D.” Eddie paused until Blaire looked up at him again, “Because I distinctly remember you saying that.” 

“I never said that!” 

“Are you calling me a liar?” 

“I thought Eddie the Great was supposed to plan everything?” Blaire proclaimed, “No one else in the club is even allowed to help you.” 

Eddie rolled his eyes, “Because everyone else doesn’t have our minds!” He replied tapping his finger to his temple. “C’mon. I bet you can finish this shit the minute before class starts. I want to make tonight's game thrilling.” 

Blaire sighed, closing her notebook. “Fine.” She said firmly looking at Eddie, “But I will only help if you promise me something.” 

Eddie’s brows raised in curiosity giving her a playful smile. He may have thought he had won but Blaire would never give in so easily. “I’m listening,” Eddie replied leaning in closer, his hair brushing the table. 

“I’ll help you,” Blaire assured, “but I want you to take school more seriously.” 

“Excuse me?” Eddie snorted backing away from her. 

“I’m not asking for a miracle but I think it would benefit us both if you showed some interest in at least one of your classes,” Blaire argued. 

“I do show interest. I’m offended.” 

“Eddie, English class doesn’t count. You already have a good grade there. I’m suggesting you apply yourself to science or maybe history? I think you would do well in History.” Blaire suggested giving him her best smile. 

“Why should I? I’m never going to graduate. I’m pretty sure when I turn 23 they’ll have to give me a diploma by default.” 

“That’s like three years away and that’s not how it works.” Blaire sighed, “Look, I’ll help you. Pick whatever class and I will make sure we study for it. It won’t be that bad, I promise.” 

“I have to do this for you to help me?” Eddie asked before giving his best puppy eye look at her. She normally would have given in but since hanging out with Eddie, she knew the best way to get him to do anything was to challenge him. 

Blaire nodded causing Eddie to groan, “Fine. I’ll do it but I want to spend the rest of lunch planning. We can focus on school later. I already have most of it done, I just need to nail everything down.” 

“Okay. What did you have in mind?” 

***

“That was awesome Eddie!” Gareth excitedly said as the members of Hellfire exited the front of the school. Eddie bowed as Blaire leaned against the double doors watching the boys chat. She had managed to finish her homework before class started and plan a successful D&D campaign. Now as the sun began to set, she could feel her lids growing heavy. 

“Ready?” Eddie called out giggling the keys to his uncle's car in front of her. She was grateful they didn’t have to walk to the trailer park. Blaire nodded following Eddie to the car. Before long, they were heading to the trailer park with Metallica fading into the background. 

“Are you down to study?” Eddie asked quickly glancing over at her, “I decided to focus on History as you suggested earlier. I have a D right now so it shouldn’t be hard to get it up to a C at least.” 

“Don’t you have to prepare for the performance this weekend?” Blaire asked yawning trying to keep her eyes open. Eddie was always juggling between Hellfire and Corroded Coffin. Almost every weekend, his band got together to practice or perform. 

“You’re quitting on me already after such a riveting speech about how important school is?” 

Blaire shook her head, “I’m not quitting. I’m fucking tired. In case you forgot, I didn’t have a social life like a month ago.” She snapped but regretted it, “Sorry. I’m not used to having to be around so many people. Don’t get me wrong, I love Gareth and Jeff but I get socially drained having to pretend.” 

Eddie pulled the car in front of his trailer before killing the ignition. He turned to face her, “You don’t have to pretend around them, hell even me.” When she didn’t look up, Eddie placed his hand on her knee. Blaire looked over with a weak smile. 

“I know. I just feel like I have to put on a face that I’m fine all the time.” 

“I don’t want you having to do any of that. I know you joined Hellfire because you wanted to but if you change your mind at any point you can leave.” Eddie assured her squeezing her knee softly. She nodded knowing Eddie would never do that for any other member of Hellfire. She felt special but she had to remember that Eddie was her friend. She didn’t want to ruin what she had going. 

“I’m fine. I promise. Why don’t we go in and try to study.” Blaire finally said pulling her backpack on. They got out of the car heading inside. Blaire had been inside Eddie’s trailer a few times but every time she entered she noticed something she haven’t seen before. It was weird that she was trying to memorize his trailer but she couldn’t help herself. 

The trailer was old, paint-chipped and the smell of smoke caked the walls. A line of caps covered the top half of the wall that Eddie’s uncle called decor. The place wasn’t clean since neither Eddie nor his uncle cleaned but it wasn’t too bad. Sure, there were clothes scattered around the floor and burn marks on the sofa but her trailer was no better. 

Blaire was about to sit on the sofa when Eddie said, “We’ll study in my room.” He walked down the narrow hallway to his room which was in the back of the trailer. Blaire liked his room because it reflected Eddie perfectly. There were posters of his favorite bands like Metallica and Iron Maiden with random things scattered around. His guitar hung on the mirror of his dresser which Blaire would stare at in awe. Eddie threw himself on his bed as Blaire sat on the edge laying her backpack down on the floor. She knew they probably wouldn’t study but that was fine because she loved talking to Eddie. He always had interesting things to say. “Ugh. I need a smoke.” Eddie complained rolling over to face Blaire. 

“Then go smoke,” Blaire said pulling her backpack up and pulling out her textbook. 

“Nooo. We have to study.” Eddie replied in a mocking tone as he sat up. 

Blaire rolled her eyes, “I told you we don’t have to study. I know for a fact that you could easily pass all your classes if you applied yourself.” 

“What makes you think that?” Eddie quizzed throwing his shoes off, one hitting the door to his closet. “Are you calling me smart?” 

“Eddie, don’t play dumb. We both know you’re smart. I’ve seen you give correct answers before and you have a lot of knowledge about stuff. You just have to apply yourself which is why I’m here.” 

Eddie sat there for a few moments thinking while Blaire pretended to read through her textbook. It always made her nervous when Eddie was silent. Everything Eddie did kind of made her nervous. She had realized after a week of them being friends, that she had the biggest crush on him. She thought maybe it was because he had been nice to her so she told herself that those feelings would go away. However, after a few days, her feelings only got stronger. Whenever Eddie glanced at her or accidentally brushed his fingers against hers, she swore her heart skipped a beat. 

“You’re right.” He finally said, “I guess I let myself believe I wasn’t good at school because no one else thought I was. Almost everyone thinks I’m a freak because I like a fantasy game but fuck them. They don’t know shit.” Eddie jumped to his feet standing on the bed causing Blaire’s textbook to fall. “I can feel something has changed.” 

“Have you gone insane?” Blaire asked standing up as Eddie jumped around his bed causing the covers and clothes to fall off. 

“Insane? Yes! But this year is different. I met you for starters.” Eddie yelled jumping down in front of Blaire. “I’m going to pass all my classes this year and graduate. I can feel it. This is my year.” He wrapped his hands around Blaire’s shoulders pulling her into a hug before pulling away and dancing around the room. 

Blaire laughed at him doing silly moves, “Eddie!” She called but he was focused on chanting this is my year, this is my year over and over. She sat back down on the edge of the bed watching Eddie. Once again, she found herself admiring his confidence. 

“Blaire?” Eddie said finally stopping to look over at her. She nodded, “We’re gonna graduate and I’m gonna flip the bird to every single person who doubted me, especially Principal Higgins.” He shouted pulling Blaire to her feet. He swung her around and the two of them danced around forgetting about their worries for a while. 

After a few minutes, Eddie threw himself on the floor, his hair scattered around his head creating a halo. She could hear his heavy breathing, his chest rapidly rising and falling. Blaire laid down next to him trying to catch her own breath. It didn’t matter what happened, whether they graduated or got stuck in Hawkins, all Blaire wanted was to be next to Eddie. She couldn’t imagine herself anywhere else. 

She felt around until she found Eddie's hand. Her heart was beating so fast as she slipped her fingers into his feeling the rough patches of skin he had from playing guitar. Blaire expected him to pull his hand away or ask her what she was doing. Instead, he wrapped his fingers around hers, gently squeezing her hand. The warmth from his hand comforted her. 

“Do you think I’ll graduate?” Eddie whispered breaking the silence, his eyes closed. 

Blaire stared up at the ceiling, “Yes. I know you will. We’ll walk the stage together.” She replied confidently. “Then we can leave Hawkins and go somewhere nice. A place no one knows who we are.” She had daydreamed about that day since she was ten. Now, that dream included Eddie coming with her if he wanted to. 

For a moment, they laid there, hands still intertwined. Blaire was lost in her thoughts and Eddie wrapped his head around the ideas Blaire proposed. “What if I don’t want to leave Hawkins?” Eddie suggested opening his eyes to glance over at Blaire. “I don’t know if I could leave my uncle alone. He's the only person who’s been there for me.” 

“That’s fine. We stay here and do whatever we want. I guess get jobs and avoid the people who hate us like the plague.” 

Eddie laughed, “Okay. We leave Hawkins then. Where do we go?” Eddie found it hard to leave the only place he called home but he knew there was more out there. His uncle had taken him in when no one else wanted to, but there was a part of Eddie that always wanted to leave so his uncle didn’t have to worry about him. He wanted to explore what was outside Hawkins, he just assumed he never would. Now that Blaire was in his life, anything seemed possible. 

“Anywhere. California, New York. Hell, we can even go to the next town over. For now, we focus on the present like passing our classes and graduating.” 

“Yes, m’lady,” Eddie replied in a horrible fake British accent as Blaire sat up, her hand dropping from his. She had forgotten they were holding hands. She nervously laughed putting some distance between them. “It’s late. Do you want to go home?” He asked. 

“I probably should. We can study tomorrow.” Blaire uttered trying to stand up but her knees were wobbly. Eddie helped her up thinking she was tired. “It’s not like I live far.” She joked grabbing her backpack and tossing her textbook inside. 

“Maybe you should stay?” 

“No!” Blaire protested. “I mean I couldn’t. What about your uncle?”

“His at work probably will be until late in the morning. You seem exhausted so why don’t you just stay?” 

Blaire paused, looking down at her shoes. It wasn’t that far to her trailer but it was pitch black outside. There was nothing waiting for her there. Her parents didn’t care enough to ask what she was doing if they were even home. She hated sleeping in a lonely house and at least here, she had Eddie to keep her company. 

“C’mon. It’ll be like a sleepover only I don’t have popcorn but we can tell scary stories and braid each other's hair.” Eddie joked flipping his hair toward her. She laughed, her cheeks redden at the thought of braiding Eddie’s hair. 

“Fuck it, okay.”

A few minutes later, Eddie had cleaned up his room a bit, throwing dirty clothes in his closet and shoving stuff under his bed. Blaire threw off her shoes waiting for Eddie to come back from the bathroom. She kinda regretted saying yes to staying over after realizing she had no PJs to wear and wasn’t sure where she would sleep. 

She yawned hearing the bathroom door open and the footsteps of Eddie heading back to his room. Blaire expected him to be dressed in pajamas but Eddie came in wearing a short cut-off top and boxers. Seeing Eddie out of his usual jeans and layered jackets felt weird, but she had to admit she liked it. His hair was a bit wet at the ends as he messed with the radio on his dresser. 

Blaire looked away when Eddie turned around, she cleared her throat. “Umm. I just realized I don’t have pajamas.” She pointed out by gesturing to her worn jeans. She did not want to sleep in them. Eddie nervously laughed before rummaging through his dresser. He finally pulled out an old baggy t-shirt that had a faded logo on it. 

“Sorry about that. It’s been a while since someone slept over.” Eddie replied holding out the t-shirt. Blaire quickly grabbed it before rushing off to the bathroom. She shut the door immediately feeling tears brim in her eyes. 

God, she was stupid. Blaire had gotten so caught up in her feelings, that she had forgotten that Eddie was her friend. Nothing more. She needed to calm down because the last she wanted was to mess up their friendship. She had done it before with other guys she liked and it ended with her being heartbroken. 

She wiped away her tears looking at her reflection in the mirror. Her hair was a frizzy mess and her eyes were red from crying. Blaire turned on the faucet throwing water on her face a few times before slipping out of her clothes. She pulled the t-shirt over her head thankfully long enough to reach her knees. She told herself she was being dramatic, that Eddie could have meant something different when he said it had been a while since someone had slept over. Even if he had meant a girl, it wasn’t any of Blaire’s business. 

She took another moment before exiting the bathroom, her clothes balled up in her arms. She could hear Eddie singing to himself as she entered his room. Her nerves were high as she threw her clothes in a corner, turning to see Eddie in his bed. His arms were resting above his head, his shirt revealing more of his toned stomach. 

He looked up, a smirk flashing across his face causing Blaire to blush. 

“What?” She demanded. 

“Nothing,” Eddie replied the smirk growing as Blaire caught him looking at her exposed legs. 

“Don’t tell me I’m the first girl to ever be in your room?” Blaire said surprising herself with her boldness. She had just cried in the bathroom over the thought of another girl being in Eddie’s room. 

“You aren’t but it’s the first time a girl has worn my shirt.” 

Blaire’s breath hitched feeling flushed. “Oh.” She mumbled feeling more exposed. 

“Let me move.” Eddie finally said getting up. 

“What? No, you can sleep in your bed.” Blaire protested, “I mean it’s your bed.” 

“No you’ll sleep in the bed and I’ll sleep on the floor.” 

“Absolutely not. I can sleep on the floor.” Blaire replied sitting down on the floor. She grabbed the blanket from Eddie’s bed covering up with it. It smelt just like him and for a moment she forgot she was in his room. 

Eddie huffed, “I don’t think so.” He picked Blaire up tossing her on the bed with a soft thud. She yelped when she landed. “No need to argue. The floor is more comfortable than you think.” 

Blaire sighed, unraveling herself from the covers. “Fine.” She replied sinking into the bed as Eddie found another blanket laying it out on the floor next to the bed. “Goodnight.” She said as Eddie turned the light off leaving the room dark. 

“Night.” 

Blaire tossed and turn trying to get comfortable for several minutes but she couldn’t. She sighed laying on her back staring up at the ceiling. She could hear the faint breathing from Eddie below her. “Eddie?” She whispered wondering if he had fallen asleep. 

“Can’t sleep?” 

“Yeah.” Blaire mumbled, “Sorry.” 

“I thought so since you were tossing and turning.” Eddie laughed. 

“Hey, it’s not my fault your bed isn’t comfortable.” 

“Well, you can sleep on the floor then.” 

She heard some movement and before she knew it Eddie was next to her. He laid down behind her, the warmth from his body radiating around her. Her heart raced as Eddie moved closer, “Maybe the bed will be more comfortable with me in it.” He whispered in her ear. His hot breath tickled her skin. 

Blaire shifted awkwardly, not sure how to respond. “Maybe so.” She heard herself respond feeling like she was having an out-of-body experience. She felt Eddie laugh, his body shaking the bed. “Can I ask you something?” She asked wanting to change the subject. Her body was sweating from how hot she had gotten. 

“Anything,” Eddie replied sweetly. 

“Do you ever feel sad that your parents didn’t care enough to stick around? Sometimes I wish my parents had abandoned me because maybe it would have been easier than having to see their disappointed faces every day. It’s not like they ever wanted me.” Blaire’s voice broke halfway through and tried her best to compose herself. 

She felt Eddie’s hand on the small of her back, rubbing circles as a way to comfort her. “I try not to think about them, to be honest.” He finally said, a hint of sadness in his voice. “After my dad died, my mom was never the same. She started doing drugs to cope with his death.” He paused feeling vulnerable. Something Eddie hated feeling, it made him feel small. 

Blaire flipped over to face Eddie, a tear rolling down her cheek. “I didn’t know your dad died.” Her voice shaking. “I’m so sorry.” 

“He died when I was young. I remember a little about him like how he smelt like wood and tobacco or how he would read me stories before bed but my memory of him is fuzzy.” Eddie took a deep breath looking down at Blaire who had wiped away tears. 

“You shouldn’t feel guilty about wishing your parents weren’t around. Sometimes I wish the same thing about my mom especially after my dad died. She became a different person, I don’t blame her though. Death changes people. I just wish she had been strong enough to be there for me.” Eddie’s voice was shaking as he spoke. 

Blaire grabbed his hand, “Is that why your uncle took you in?”

Eddie nodded, “Yeah. He was the only person who wanted to. He saw how my mom, his sister, was struggling to take care of me. So he came over to the house one day and told me to get my stuff. I didn’t hesitate because I was lonely. My mom was barely there at that point. She would lay on the couch, spaced out. She had completely forgotten about me.” 

Blaire squeezed his hand, “I’m glad your uncle was there for you. Still is.” 

“I just wish I could help him more. I always felt like a burden to him.” 

“Don’t say that. He loves you.” 

Eddie weakly smiled wiping the hair from his face. “I know. I owe him for everything he's done for me.” He paused, wiping his face as a tear rolled down his cheek. Blaire reached up to touch his face. He grabbed her hand giving it a squeeze. “Thank you for being there for me. It’s nice to know I have someone else rooting for me.” Eddie said. 

“I’ll always be here until you don’t need me,” Blaire replied feeling that one day, they would both move on. They would get older and maybe think about high school. He would vaguely remember the girl who he was friends with but nothing more. 

“I’ll always need you.” 

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” 

Eddie laughed, “Okay fine. I need you right now. Does that make you happy?” 

“Yes because who knows what will happen. I’d rather live in the moment.” Blaire felt brave at the moment. She leaned closer to Eddie until her face was inches from his. Her heart was racing as she gently pressed her lips to his, quickly closing her eyes. It was a quick peck but enough to make her body tingle. Blaire pulled away, nervous to look at Eddie. 

“What was that for?” Eddie asked with a curious look. 

“For being a good friend,” Blaire replied way too nervous to confess her crush right now. 

“I didn’t know friends kissed each other.” 

“Some do.” 

She expected Eddie to lean in to kiss her again but he shrugged revealing a small smirk. “You’re something else, Bee.” 

“Bee?” 

Eddie nodded, “A nickname for you. It’s better than calling you by your last name.” He laughed sinking into his pillow. Blaire liked the nickname, she never had had one before. She closed her eyes pulling the covers up. “Goodnight, Bee,” Eddie said and she felt him turn over. Blaire smiled to herself as she drifted off to sleep. For the first time, she felt safe. She knew this feeling wouldn’t last forever but at least for now, she was right where she wanted to be. 

[lindsaywesker]

Good morning! I hope you slept well and feel rested? Currently sitting in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day. Welcome to the working week although, for those of you working in the NHS, welcome to just another day.

My goodness! What a weekend! Seriously, that was full-on! By Sunday night, we were all shattered!

We both worked on Friday and then went out on Friday night. Lucky enough to get an invitation to a swanky venue in Balham, to celebrate the 60th birthday of a very glamourous woman! In fact, there was a surplus of very beautiful people there and we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves! Couldn’t get a parking space anywhere on our road, had to park on the road behind! Got to bed after 2.00.

Saturday morning: up at 7.30, rescued the car, packed it up with garden waste and off to the recycling plant. The Trouble had been doing some sterling work (in preparation for a garden party.) Left Willesden Junction around 9.40 and got to Stratford just before 11.00. A dear friend had very kindly offered to make an Oreo and strawberry cheesecake for The Trouble on her birthday. So, I picked up the cheesecake, took it to the Mi-Soul studios and stuck it in the fridge while I did my show.

Many thanks to everyone that listened to the show live and to everyone that will listen to the show on MixCloud. The Letter N (Part Two) next Saturday at 1.00 p.m.

On Saturday evening, after six months of plotting and planning, we finally staged a surprise 60th party for The Trouble. Thanks to a fairly elaborate set of lies, she genuinely did not have a clue and, naturally, wept when she saw all her friends and family.

Saturday was probably the hottest day of the year so far, we were a bit sticky indoors, so much of the party spilled outside but that worked well. Naturally, many people didn’t know one another, but they’re a chatty, gregarious bunch, so they all made new friends.

It’s the people that make a party and there was a big turn-out for a woman that is loved by many. As far as I’m concerned, she spends too much time on the phone, but I have a very male attitude on this subject. She knows best. She makes time for her friends and they clearly appreciate her. I guess the most precious thing you can give people is your time and The Trouble makes time for many people. You could feel it: there was so much love in the room for her! For me, the most intense part of the evening was when she sang a live version of Prediction’s ‘The Way We Were’. Classic North-West London lover’s rock! Not a dry eye in the house!

In terms of budget, I paid for it all. Well, it only happens once in a Iifetime! I paid for some proper Caribbean catering and a free bar, which did not run out! Bet there were some sore heads the morning after!

On Sunday, recycling again! Party No. 3. As she didn’t know we were throwing a party for her on Saturday, The Trouble had organised her own Sip & Paint Party in our back garden. She did a Sip & Paint Party with her employers a few weeks ago and really enjoyed it. A party organiser comes to your house (or place of work), brings canvas, easels and paint, and you provide the food and drink. So, after two parties on Friday and Saturday, we had another one in Chez Wesker for The Trouble and her closest girl friends. It rained but it didn’t make any difference. They drank, and painted, and drank, and made a lot of noise! We literally collapsed into bed! And I have seven hours of teaching today!

Have a marvellous and momentous Monday. I love you all.

[rphelperblog]

Back to the Future Series Quote Rp Meme

feel free to edit or change pronouns for rp purposes- inspired by @beautifulxfun​

"If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything."

“I hate manure.”

He's an idiot. Comes from upbringing. His parents are probably idiots, too. you ever have a kid who acts that way, I'll disown you.”

What happens to us in the future? Do we become assholes or something?”

I had a horrible nightmare. I dreamed that I went... back in time. It was terrible.”

If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything.”

Better get used to these bars, kid.”

it was a wonder I was even born.”

"Nobody calls me chicken!"

"Traveling through time has become much too painful."

the future isn't written. It can be changed...you know that. Anyone can make their future whatever they want it to be."

"He's an absolute dream."

you're beginning to sound just like my mother."

I'm almost 18-years-old. It's not like I've never parked before."

“Your future is whatever you make it, so make it a good one.” 

"I'm your density. I mean your destiny."

Please excuse the crudity of this model. I didn't have time to build it to scale or paint it.”

"Last night, Darth Vader came down from Planet Vulcan and told me that if I didn't take her out, that he'd melt my brain."

"I'm from the future."

You bet your ass it works.”

“All right. This is an oldie, but, uh… well, it’s an oldie where I come from.” 

"Well, that is your name, isn't it? Calvin Klein? It's written all over your underwear."

"Since when can weathermen predict the weather, let alone the future?"

"I think the woman was born a nun."

don't be such a square. Everybody who's anybody drinks."

"You got a real attitude problem; you're a slacker. You remind me of your father when he went here; he was a slacker, too."

"Say 'hi' to your mom for me."

you don't just walk into a store and-and buy plutonium! Did you rip that off?”

Stand tall, boy. Have some respect for yourself. Don't you know, if you let people walk over you now, they'll be walking over you for the rest of your life. Look at me. You think I'm gonna spend the rest of my life in this slop house?”

I can't tell you. It might make things worse.”

It means your future hasn't been written yet, no one's has. Your future is whatever you make it, so make it a good one.”

No, I know; you did send me back to the future. But I'm back - I'm back from the future.”

My density has brought me to you.

"Maybe you were adopted."

"Next Saturday night, we're sending you back to the future!"

"Jesus, it was a wonder I was even born.

Are you trying to tell me that my mother has got the hots for me?"

"I finally invent something that works!"

"The appropriate question is, 'When the hell are they.'"

“Jesus, didn’t that guy ever have hair?”

"What the hell is a gigawatt?"

“Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.”

“Nobody calls me chicken.”

Something’s gotta be done about your kids!”

“I guess you guys aren’t ready for that yet. But your kids are gonna love it.”

“Next Saturday night, we’re sending you back to the future!”

"It's "Leave" you idiot! Make like a tree & leave! You sound like a damn fool when you say it wrong!"

That's about as funny as a screen door on a battleship.

"Did you get kicked out of another boarding school?"

"Time traveling is just too dangerous. Better that I devote myself to study the other great mystery of the universe: women!"

it's not science! When it happens, it just hits you. It's like lightning!’

you can't go losing your judgment every time someone calls you a name. That's exactly what causes you to get into that accident in the future."

"You're not thinking fourth dimensionally."

Well, it'll just happen. Like the way I met your father."

"I've never seen purple underwear before."

you're my only hope."

Then how am I supposed to ever meet anybody?”

"There's that word again. 'Heavy.' Why are things so heavy in the future? Is there a problem with the Earth's gravitational pull?"

“Why don’t you make like a tree and get outta here?”

“Silence, Earthling! My name is Darth Vader. I am an extraterrestrial from the planet Vulcan!”

"No wonder your president has to be an actor. He's gotta look good on television."

"If you're gonna build a time machine into a car, why not do it with some style?"

"I can't believe you'd loan me your car without telling me it had a blind spot. I could've been killed!"

“If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits 88 miles per hour, you're gonna see some serious s***.”

"This is all wrong. I don't know what it is. But when I kiss you, it's like I'm kissing...my brother. I guess that doesn't make any sense, does it?"

"Don't worry. As long as you hit that wire with the connecting hook at precisely 88 miles per hour, the instant the lightning strikes the tower... everything will be fine."

“Oh, and one more thing, if you guys ever have kids and one of them, when he’s eight years old, accidentally sets fire to the living room rug – go easy on him.”

Think! I gotta have time to get them retyped. Do you realize what would happen if I hand in my reports in your handwriting? I'll get fired. You wouldn't want that to happen, would ya? Would ya?"

What on Earth is this thing I'm wearing?

Radiation suit? Of course. 'Cause of all the fallout from the atomic wars."

we all have to make decisions that affect the course of our lives. You've gotta do what you've gotta do. And I've gotta do what I've gotta do."

“Well, there are plenty worse places to be than the Old West. I could’ve ended up in the Dark Ages. They probably would have burned me at the stake as a heretic or something.” 

I came here in a time machine that you invented. Now I need your help to get back to the year 1985.”

[amor-immortalem]

Of Horrible Parenting and Stubborn Teenagers

A/N: So this has been kinda just rotting in my drafts for the better part of a year and I don’t have anything better to post so why not. Also this was written before I got the idea for Max’s traitor arc.

Word count: 6.8k

Warning: bad parenting, self-harm, intrusive thoughts, Cerberus attacks, serious injury

“The answer is no.” Azalea huffs as she goes back to her texting conversation.

“C’mon, ‘Zay, ya know I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t have any other options available.” Mammon would do almost anything to get his daughter to agree to this right now.

“Okay??? And?? You asked ‘n I said no. You don’t pester and hound Cyrus or Aurelius if they tell you no.”

“Because they’re willing to help us out when we need it, unlike you.”

“I’m not the one who wanted him to exist! I made it clear the day you ‘n Mum brought that brat home from the hospital that I didn’t want no part in helpin’ with him. I tolerate him just so it makes everythin’ at home easier for y’all. Don’t mistake that for me actually giving a damn about him, old man.” She stands, heading for her room.

“I don’t get what the big deal is Azalea. I’m just asking for you to watch Mahlon for three hours on Saturday afternoon while your Ma ‘n I are in the meeting with your uncles and Lord Diavolo.”

“And I said no. I got plans that day and I ain’t cancellin’ for some snot-nosed brat that I don’t even like.”

“Ya don’t anymore. You’re grounded and you’re babysitting. End of story.” Mammon says as he lets out a huff.

“Grounded?!” The freckled half-demon squawks in disbelief, “I didn’t even do anything wrong this time, why am I grounded?”

“Because you’re being a brat and I’m your father and I can ground ya for any reason I see fit. You need ta start helpin’ out with your brother more whether that’s willingly or unwillingly, I don’t care.”

“That’s fuckin’ ridiculous and way beyond unfair.” Azalea has to bite her cheek to keep from screaming at her father and making things worse. “You know, those three hours are going to cost me big time.”

“Oh please,” The demon rolls his eyes, “Ya spend all day with yer head buried in those damn textbooks, and your grades are already at a perfect 100 percent. I get that advanced courses are a lot of work but three hours not spent studyin’ ain’t gonna hurt ya none.”

“I’m not-! Yeah, sure whatever. I’ll watch the li’l shit since I don’t have anything else ta do now. I’m goin’ back ta the dorm. I hate you.” Azalea turns away and starts to make her way back to the House of Lamentation.

“Yeah, well I aint your biggest fan right now either,” Mammon calls after her, unaware of what he’d just cost his second eldest.

*******************************

“You know this is going to cost you your spot on the team, right?” Azalea’s track coach asks her as she gives her a disbelieving look. “You promised to be there to run the high jump and the 3,000-meter sprint. Without you there, the team will have to forfeit those events.”

“Yeah, Coach...” The white-and-black-haired half-demon frowns. “I’m well aware but something came up that I can’t get out of. I’ll turn my uniform in tomorrow.”

“Alright,” The older demoness frowns, “I’m sorry to lose you though. Even after you lost your eye, your speed alone makes you one of my best runners- not to mention all of that work you did to make up for your lack of depth perception so that you could get back to running the high jump… oh well. Maybe next year you’ll be able to join us again.”

Wouldn’t bet on it, Azalea thinks to herself. If things go my way, I won’t even be in the Devildom after tomorrow night.

“Thank you for the opportunity to run with you guys though,” Azalea smiles as she gives a bow before turning to leave.

*******************************

“Maaaaaaxxxxx,” Azalea calls in a sing-song voice as her girlfriend picks up the phone later that day.

“Good morning to you too, Sunshine.” The human chuckles softly at the greeting, “What can I do for you at four in the morning?”

“Four in the- ah shit sorry. Forgot about the time difference. Anyway, will ya summon me up to the human world with ya? Pretty please. I miss you.” Azalea has other motives for wanting to go up to the human world.

“You can’t just wait for me to come home back to the Devildom this weekend?” Max feels like something isn’t quite right here.

“Nooooo. I miss ya ‘n I wanna see ya now.”

“You can be patient besides I’m pretty sure if you just up and disappeared again all of the adults in your family would up and have a heart attack and I’d rather not be responsible for the deaths of Lord Diavolo’s entire cabinet.

“Awwww,” the half-demon pouts, “Yer so mean.”

“Babe, if you miss me that much, why don’t we video chat for a little bit? You don’t seem like you’re not in a good place right now.”

“Me? Nah, I’m fine, but I won’t turn down a video chat.”

“Alright, give me five minutes to wash my face and I’ll call you,” the human sighed rubbing a hand over her icy-blue eyes. “Slept in my makeup last night because I was so exhausted from training for my trials to gain my sorcerer’s license so I’m sure I look like a hot mess.”

“Alright, I’m setting a timer. If ya don’t call back in five minutes exactly, I’m calling you whether yer ready or not.” Azalea hangs up quickly and Max can only stare at her phone.

“That has to be a sign that something is wrong,” she mumbles under her breath while rolling out of bed, “she’s never that demanding of my attention…”

*******************************

The video chat was going great but Max can see there was something wrong with her girlfriend. She was just a bit too hyper, too loud, too… much...

“So how has staying on track with your meds been going?” it’s an innocuous question- one Max asks frequently since Azalea has a habit of not medicating regularly after concluding that she was feeling better so she didn’t need them anymore.

“It's been good- sometimes I forget them in the mornings though but I only when I wake up late ‘n gotta run out the house super quick.”

“That’s good. You haven’t been missing any lately right? Like within the past couple of days?”

“No. My parents have really been on my case about it- apparently, Aurelius ratted me out for not takin’ ‘em the last time I forgot. Oh! Oh! Also, I have to cancel our date for the Saturday you come back… I’m kind of grounded at the moment.”

“What? Why? Your parents know there’s a huge meet that day and if you don’t show up you’ll lose your spot on the team for the year, right?”

“It was a whole thing I got into with Dad- ‘pparently I’m s’possed to help out with Mahlon even though I’ve made it clear I ain’t want a damn thing ta do with him… anyway the old man said that I was babysitting whether I wanted to or not and then promptly grounded me…”

“You never told him did you?”

“What’s it matter anyway?” Azalea scoffs, “If I ain’t in any danger, my business is my own. My old man’s not entitled to know what’s going on in my life anymore. He’s shown me enough times he clearly favors his sons and doesn’t even care enough to find out what I’m up to nowadays anyway. Besides… he can’t disappoint me by not showin’ up ta things if he don’t know about it… It’s not like it really matters all that much anyway…”

“Is that really what you want though, Hon?” Max frowns. “Being on the track team is everything to you and I’m sure if at least your mother knew, she’d overrule his decision and unground you so you could go.”

“Oh please,” the white-and-black-haired girl laughs, “neither of my mothers have ever once gone against Dad when it comes to parenting issues. Both Mum and Mama Thirteen won’t go against him this time either… I’ll just have ta eat the loss. In fact, if any member of my family’s parental unit found out I was still runnin’ track, they’d probably tell me ta cut it out. That it’s too dangerous for me or some shit like that. All three of ‘em would probably be happier if I just lived in a bubble for the rest of my life and never did anything ever like a little pet canary in a cage.”

“I’m sure that’s not true, babe. Your parents love you and I’m sure they wouldn’t do that to you when they know you love it so much.”

“Yeah, sure, whatever you say,” the half-demon sighs, “it’s getting late here, I’m gonna go to bed now ‘n sleep off this bad mood. I’ll see ya Friday. Love ya.”

“Love you too, Sunshine,” Max smiles as she blows a kiss at the phone, “See you Friday.”

And with that, the girls end their video chat.

*******************************

“So when we get to the House of Lamentation,” Mammon begins as he makes the final turn towards the house, “please- for the love of all things unholy- be on your best behavior. Your sister already ain’t happy about havin’ ta watch ya so don’t give her a reason to take anything out on you.”

“Okay,” Mahlon chirps from his car seat in the back. “How long do I have to stay with her for?”

“Just for three hours. If Mama or I run any later than that, one of your brothers will come to get you since they’ll both be off from their jobs by then, ‘kay?”

“Okay.” The black-haired half-demon nods as he pulls out a folded-up paper from his backpack. “Do you think she’ll like the picture I made her?”

“I hope so, Kiddo.” Mammon smiles as the car comes to a stop, “I sure hope so.”

*******************************

Azalea is in the shower, relaxing under the hot water, enjoying the last little bit of her free time before she had to play babysitter. It hasn’t been a good day. Logging into Devilgram triggered it- the empty feeling she had now that she wasn’t on the track team anymore from looking at her teammates' stories and then it spiraled into intrusive thoughts.

What if you got rid of the problem altogether? a voice whispered in the back of her mind. Your parents already hate you so why not just nail your own coffin closed and get rid of the brat? He’s powerless or at the very least a late bloomer- you could easily dispose of him. The only one who’d know what you did would be Max. You could let Cerberus eat the body to get rid of the evidence.

“Hey, Azalea, your dad just pulled up.” Max is there to interrupt the train of thoughts, “You want me to get the door, or are you almost done?”

“Can you get the door, please? I’m... gonna be a minute.” Azalea says as she leans her head back against the cool tiles of the wall behind her hoping to lock away the intrusive thoughts deep in her mind.

“Alright,” Max says, “I’ll come check on you in a few more minutes- are you sure you’re alright?”

“I’M FINE,” the half-demon yells. “JUST-” She stops, taking a deep breath, “Just go downstairs and get the door.”

“Oh... okay,” Max hurries and closes the door before going downstairs just as Mammon and Mahlon are walking into the entrance hall.

“Where’s ‘Zay?” The demon asks as he notices his daughter is nowhere to be seen.

“She’s finishing up in the shower,” The human sighs, “it’s not a good day, Sir.”

“What do you mean by that? She in a mood or somethin’?” Mammon frowns as Max nods quickly.

“It’s... It’s a bad one.”

“What set it off?”

And now Max has a choice to make. She can tell Mammon the truth about the track meet and how Azalea lost her spot on the team or she can lie and say she doesn’t know and then deal with trying to keep things peaceful for the day as much as she can. Against her better judgment, the human chooses the latter as she shrugs.

“If it gets any worse, text me or Arella and one of us will leave to come get Mahlon then.” Mammon looks up toward the top of the stairs. “I have to go, though,” He turns to his son. “Alright kiddo, make sure you’re super good for your sister when she gets out of the shower and-”

He stops as the scent of blood crosses his nose. His blue-to-gold eyes look up to the top of the stairs.

“I’m gonna check on Azalea before I go.” And with that, he’s up the stairs.

*******************************

Shit, shit, shit! I cut too deep! Azalea scrambles around the bathroom for the first aid kit as she holds the towel over her side where she had dug into it with a razor blade. Damnit all, me ‘n my shitty timing. What an amateur move! Dad’s gonna smell the blood and think I hurt myself and then he’s not gonna leave me alone for the rest of the damn day!

Just as she finds the kit and starts placing gauze over the cuts, Mammon knocks on the door. Good thing she’d locked the door before she started cutting just to avoid Max walking in on her.

“Go away! I’m fine!” She shouts before her father can get a word out. “I was shaving my legs and accidentally cut myself! It’s no big deal.” She takes the razor blade and makes a deep gash in her leg before hiding the blade so her lie is convincing- it actually feels good.

“That smells like a lot of blood though. Do you need stitches?”

“Fuck,” She mouths to herself before answering, “Nope I’m good. It’ll heal on its own as long as I bandage it up really good.”

“Okay,” the demon sighs in relief- the cut, while deep, sounded like it would heal on its own. “You worry me sometimes, kid. Anyway, I’ll get going now. Be nice to your brother. If Mom and I run late, one of your brothers will come get him so you’re not watchin’ him longer than I’m asking of ya. After that, you can do whatever you want.”

“Sure fine.”

“Alright, everything is fine.” The demon announced as he came down the stairs. “I’ll get going now,”

“Okay,” Max and Mahlon nod before they head off to the common room.

*******************************

“And at school, we had to make a report about someone in our family that we’re super proud of and make a picture book to go with it,” Mahlon starts to search his backpack for the various things he’d been talking about. “I wanna show it to Azalea once she gets out of the shower, but do you wanna see it now?”

“I’d love to!” Max nods, “I bet you did a good job. Who did you choose? Was it one of your parents or your brothers?”

“No, it was Azalea- that's why I wanna show it to her. The teacher said I did a really good job at it so I thought she might like to see it.”

“Aww, isn’t that sweet of you,” The black-haired human smiles softly.

“Ain’t what sweet?” Azalea interrupts as joins the pair.

“Sis!” Mahlon hops off the couch and runs over to give her a hug.

Azalea side-steps the four-year-old. “Don’t touch me, pipsqueak, now what were the two of ya talkin’ about?”

“Azalea,” Max warned.

“What? I jus’ don’t wanna be touched right now, that okay?”

“It’s okay! That’s okay! Here,” The black-haired boy runs back over to his backpack and finally grabs out the little booklet he’d made. “I made this at school. It’s about you.”

“About me?” For a moment there’s a look of surprise and confusion before it’s replaced with the usual scowl she keeps on her face as she takes the booklet and flips through it.

It was generally well made for something a four-year-old could make but there was one problem with it. It was filled with things that had previously been kept within the family- things kept behind closed doors to make things appear not as bad as what they really were.

“Mahlon, do Mum and Dad know what’s in here? Did they say you could put all this stuff in this booklet?”

“N-no… did I do something bad?” The freckled boy asks, his expression shifting into one of worry. “Do you not like it? Are you mad at me?”

“Huh? No, I ain’t mad it’s just- some of this stuff is private information that shouldn’t be public knowledge because it's family stuff. Actually, I like it a lot ‘n yer teach was right when they said ya did a really good job with it.”

At his sister’s words, Mahlon’s eyes widened. “Really?!” A wide smile finds its way onto his face, so excited that his big sister gave him a compliment that he didn’t hear the first part of what she said.

“I… yeah? Wouldn’ta said it if I didn’t mean it… well, whatever let’s just find ya somethin’ ta do. I assume Dad already had ya eat lunch- ya don’t still take naps at this age do ya?”

“I had one earlier, can we play a video game together?”

“I mean we can but ya gotta be more specific than just a video game,” Azalea hums, “what kinda genre do you wanna play? Action/adventure, RPG, fighting?”

Mahlon thinks for a moment before answering, “A fighting game!” He takes a hold of Azalea’s hand and starts to pull her toward her room.

“What are you doin’? Game systems here in the common room.”

“I wanna play in your room.”

“Nope, Max ‘n I moved all that stuff out here for the day cuz I don’t want ya in there. I got too much stuff you could mess up.” The older half-demon grabs the remote and flips on the tv before popping a fighting game into the game console and grabbing the two wireless controllers. She takes a seat on the couch next to her girlfriend who was just surfing Devilgram for the time being.

“What’s the word, Babe? Anything new?”

“Not really, Zulima’s live from the second layer right now and Aurelius just posted a selfie from the set of his latest shoot but other than that, it’s quiet.” The human looks over at her and smiles before leaning her head against Azalea’s shoulder.

“When isn’t she live streaming? Anyway, Mahlon, come on. Ya gonna come join or do I gotta play a two-player game alone?”

“No, I wanna play too!” The four-year-old hops up on the couch seated right next to his sister and she hands him a controller.

*******************************

It didn’t take Mammon long to get up to R.A.D. however, finding a parking spot proved to be arduously time-consuming.

“Why in the world is the lot so packed?” The demon grumbles to himself as he heads inside. “‘S almost like there’s some kinda school function or somethin’…”

As he makes his way up to the Student Council room where they had arranged to have the meeting, he spots Arella having a conversation with Beelzebub.

“Hey guys,” Mammon says as he wraps his arms around his wife’s shoulders. “How was the human world, Babe?

“Not much different than it’s always been,” Arella hums as she leans back against his chest. “How’re the kids? Is everything alright? Where’s Mahlon? I know the boys are busy today and Azalea had a track meet today so even if she was feeling charitable, she wouldn’t have been able to watch him.”

“She… she had a track meet today?” Mammon pales, “I…um… I didn’t know that…”

“So that’s why she quit the team,” Beel says, “so she could babysit. That’s not something I expected from her.”

“She quit the team?” Both Mammon and Arella are surprised at the Avatar of Gluttony’s revelation.

“Well, more like she was kicked off the team for not being able to come to the meet today but still… same difference. It just sounds better to say one quit than it is to say they got kicked off it.”

“That’s a bit extreme,” Arella says, “Is that normal, Beel?”

The ginger-haired demon nods, “Attending meets is a requirement no matter who you are if you want to stay on the team. The coach was upset but she said she couldn’t give Azalea any special treatment or else the whole team might start blowing off the meets. It applies to every sports team at R.A.D. That’s the reason why Lucifer always tried to have Lord Diavolo schedule our Student Council meetings outside of my games so I wouldn’t lose my place on the team.”

“And Azalea did this of her own volition?” Arella can hardly believe it as Beel nods and out of the corner of her eye, Arella catches Mammon shifting nervously. Suddenly, she’s not so sure Azalea ever agreed to babysit in the first place.

“I see… well I guess there’s always next season then. We’ll just have to make sure it never happens again.” The human looks up and her husband with a smile, “Right, Love?”

“Yeah, totally,” the white-haired demon lets out a nervous laugh- one he lets out when he knows he’s done something wrong- almost like he was subconsciously confirming her theory, “Well, I’m gonna go take my seat now,”

“Oh no you don’t,” she says as she holds onto his jacket sleeve, “you’re going to stay right here and we’re going to have a little chat about this. Beel, could you give us a moment, please? Let Lucifer know we’ll be in shortly. I know we’re still waiting on Belphegor before we can actually start but still, just let him know we’re here.

“Sure thing,” the sixth-born smiles before turning to his older brother, “rest in peace, Mammon, I’ll have Satan write your eulogy.”

Once Beelzebub has gone, Arella turns to Mammon with an unamused look.

“You forced Azalea to watch Mahlon today, didn’t you?”

“So, in my defense, I didn’t know there was a track meet today,” the Avatar of Greed starts.

“And yet you knew our sons’ schedules well enough to know that they were unavailable to watch their brother today? Don’t you think that’s a little unfair? And what do you mean you didn’t know? It’s been on the family calendar in my home office for months now. I even sent you a list via text so you could put it in your phone’s calendar at the start of the season- You went to the last one with me! Track is the most important thing to our daughter right now, you know that.”

“Yeah, I know but… c’mon ‘Rella, constantly asking the boys to change their schedules for us is unfair to them too.”

“I get that, Mammon, but that’s why you should have just brought Mahlon with you! Honey, we’ve done so much work with Azalea just to even get her to the point of being able to tolerate him over these last couple of years. Why in all the three realms would you throw that away by just forcing her to babysit when she doesn’t want to?”

“Because there’s no reason she can’t babysit every now and again- and it's not like I just dumped him on her for the whole day. It was just these three hours- less if Cyrus or Aurelius get done at work early. Don’t you think we should give her a little push now and again?”

“Yes, but not with this, Mammon. If we push too hard, she’s just going to resent him even more. Things like this are tricky. You remember what it felt like when Lucifer just forced looking after me onto you, don’t you? You hated it at the start- and I know you did because you made sure to tell me at every opportunity you got.”

“Yeah, I know, but like once I got over it, I didn’t hate it and that’s what I was goin’ for. Ya always say Azalea is the most like me so why not use a strategy that I know has worked in the past? Watch, by the time we get done here, she might’ve found that she enjoys babysittin’ and might want to do it again sometime.”

“I’ll give you points for logic, Love, but you better pray to the Demon King that this actually works out the way you want it to. If we get to the House of Lamentation and our youngest is completely traumatized by an older sister that didn’t want to babysit, you’re going to be in a hell of a lot more trouble with me than you already are.”

And with that Arella walks into the old Student Council room.

*******************************

“God-fucking-Damnit, where did he go? It can’t be that hard to find a fucking powerless four-year-old brat.” Azalea curses as she checks under Zulima’s bed for the sixth time.

She, Max, and Mahlon were all playing a game of hide-and-seek and so far, Azalea was losing. How she could fail to find her youngest brother was beyond her. She’d searched everywhere for the kid but he wasn’t anywhere she could think of. The entire House was game except for the underground tomb where Cerberus still resided. “Motherfucker, he wouldn’t have-“

The sound of a frightened scream causes her to turn her head so fast that Azalea nearly gets whiplash. A second later, she’s bolting down toward the underground tomb- Max isn’t far behind her. When they get there, the behemoth of a dog is towering over Mahlon who is cowering in fear. Almost in slow motion, Azalea watches as the animal lowers its head, preparing to swallow her brother whole. She leaps down the stairs running full speed and she closes the distance just in time to get Mahlon out of the way but her leg is caught in the dog’s mouth and she’s lifted into the air.

“Cerberus!” Max yells as she grabs a hold of Mahlon and pushes him back toward the stairs, “Let Azalea go!”

To that, the monstrous canine only growls until Azalea rears back and kicks him in the muzzle with as much strength as she can muster. She goes crashing to the hard stone floor below landing on her back as Cerberus lets out a yelp.

“Yeah, that fuckin’ hurt dinnit!? Go lay down!” The freckled half-demon yells as she sits up and points over to the area near Lilith’s tomb. “Damn oversized mutt,” she grumbles as she stands and hobbles over to her girlfriend and brother, every pain receptor in her leg tingling like she was walking on pins and needles before she just loses feeling in it all together..

“Are you crazy!?” The blue-eyed human gives Azalea a horrified look, “Why’re you walking on that- your leg’s broken!”

“No, it ain’t. I’m fine, just a puncture wound from where his teeth got me.”

“The bone in your leg is sticking out…” Mahlon replied as his sister follows his gaze.

“Well shit, guess it is… I should probably do something about that, huh? Max can you-?”

“I’m not using healing magic to fix that- I’m not good with healing spells and I don’t want to mend your leg improperly. We’re going to the hospital and you can have it dealt with professionally.”

“God, you’re so dramatic.” Azalea sighs, “I’ll do it on myself then. Once I sit down, all you have to do is-“

“I’m not being dramatic, I-“

While Max and Azalea are fighting, Mahlon sneaks back up the stairs and gets a hold of his sister’s phone. Thankfully, it was unlocked. He scrolls through Azalea’s contacts and selects Mammon’s number out of the very small list.

It doesn’t take long for Mammon to answer seeing as they just happened to finish up the meeting.

“What’s up, ‘Zay? We just got done here so Mom and I’re gonna be on our way-“

“Daddy…”

“Mahlon? Bud, where’s your sister and why do you have her phone?”

“Th-there was an accident… she got bit by Cerberus and now she and Max are fighting cuz she doesn’t want to go to the hospital…”

“Alright, Mom and I are comin’ to get you guys. How badly did she get bit and where?” As the demon gets up, he attracts the attention of his brothers, his wife, and Lord Diavolo who were all giving him curious looks.

“Azalea got bit on the leg pretty badly by Cerberus..” the demon explains, “Okay, I’m gonna hang up now so I can focus on driving. Tell her we’re on our way and tell Max to make sure Azalea doesn’t walk on her leg.” After a brief exchange of goodbyes, the white-haired demon hangs up the phone before turning to face the rest of the group. “Luce, you’re probably gonna wanna go check on your dog, I don’t know what state he’s in right now.”

The Avatar of Pride only lets out a long, tired sigh as he stands and both Mammon and Arella take their leave.

“There’s never a dull moment in this family…”

*******************************

“Did I or did I not tell ya you weren’t supposed to hide in the underground tomb?” Azalea asks pointedly as she half-heartedly glares at Mahlon.

“You did…” Mahlon says as he looks away, “I’m sorry… thank you for saving me…”

“I didn’t do it for you… Mum and Dad would kill me if I let that mutt eat you. I was just looking out for myself so don’t go gettin’ the wrong idea.”

“Azalea!” Max looks up from her spot on the floor where she was attempting to bandage up the open puncture wounds and the half-demon’s leg where the bone wasn’t protruding.

“What? It’s true! He’s gotta hear it sometime.”

The young boy only climbs up next to his sister.

“Did ya have fun at least?”

“H-huh?”

“I said did ya have fun? For the first little bit, that is…”

Mahlon nods carefully but otherwise doesn’t say anything so Azalea abruptly stands.

“Well I’m glad ya had fun, we won’t be doin’ this again,” she says as stumbles and Max pushes her back onto the couch.

“Azalea, do not move. I’m serious. You’re going to make things worse for yourself.” The human huffs, her hands on her hips as she looks at the half-demon expectantly.

“Babe, I’m fine. Sure, the bone’s stickin’ out but only a little. Just let me cast a healin’ spell on myself ‘n I’ll be good as new. I’m the master at bone mendin’ spells.”

“For my sanity,” Max starts with a sigh, “I’m going to ignore that you’re implying to me that you’ve broken your bones so many times that you’ve gotten that good at fixing them. Also, I love you, but you’re a horrible spell caster.”

“It’s just a simple spell. I’ve done it a million times already.”

Before Max could say anything else, the front door opened and Arella walked in. Azalea quickly threw a blanket over her lap and outstretched leg.

“You’re not being sneaky, Sweetheart,” Arella says as she approached the couch. “Let me see your leg, please. Mahlon go get the bag you brought with you and go wait with your father in the car.”

“It’s fine, Mum. I don’t need to go to the hospital.” The black-and-white-haired teenager grumbles. “All I need is for someone to push the bone back into place and I can mend it myself.”

“Why can’t you just go to the hospital?” Max asks, “Why’re you so afraid to ask for help?”

“I ain’t scared of askin’ for help! And I sure as hell don’t need it! Why can’t any of y’all fuckin’ see that!” Azalea stands but her mother stops her.

“You have a bone sticking out of your leg, Darling. You need medical attention and this isn’t something you can take care of yourself.” The green-eyed human’s voice is stern. “You’re going to hospital whether you like it or not. Now, you have two choices, you can let Max and me help you out to the car or I can teleport us there directly, which will it be?”

The tanned half-demon stubbornly doesn’t reply as she waits for her mother out.

“Don’t make me start counting, Azalea,” Arella says sternly while she crosses her arm. “3…. 2…. 1….” The human takes a hold of her child’s wrist and casts the teleportation spell as the two disappear in the blink of an eye, landing in front of the car.

Arella opens the door for her and Azalea puts up a struggle in getting in. After about five minutes of this, Mammon gets out from the driver's side and has to lift the half-demon to even get her into the backseat, sliding in behind her so she wouldn’t attempt to open the door and roll out of the car. Arella hops in behind the wheel and adjusts the seat before taking off for the hospital.

*******************************

After a short but very hectic car ride where their daughter fought and struggled, Mammon was able to drag Azalea inside and she was taken back shortly after checking in. Unsure of how long the wait would be, Arella just took Mahlon home and would drive back down to get them once she got word that they were done. The examination and casting procedure was short and quick but Azalea turning combative meant she had to be strapped down for the process until she was calm enough to be released.

“This is stupid.” The seventeen-year-old growls. “They coulda at least let me go once they were done with me.”

“Well, ya know what they say: play stupid games, win stupid prizes,” Mammon says bluntly, not looking up from his phone. “Ain’t none of ‘em tryin’ to get punched or kicked in the face. Does your leg hurt?”

“No,” she told a half-truth- her leg didn’t hurt, but it also didn’t feel normal at the same time, “‘m fine.”

“Are ya lyin’ to me to appear tough?”

“No.” This time a blatant lie, “Everyone overreacted anyway. I coulda dealt with this myself.”

“No, you couldn’t have. Do you know how much bacteria is in that mutt’s mouth? The bite marks woulda got infected in no time.”

Azalea only rolled her eyes and scoffed, thinking about how much she liked it when it felt like he didn’t care, “Coulda dealt with that on my own too. I’da just gone to the doctor’s on my own if it got too bad. Why do you still treat me like I’m still some little kid? I don’t know what you ‘n Mum think but y’all ain’t gonna be around forever- you’ll kick the bucket at some point. I gotta learn ta take care of myself ‘n be self-sufficient.”

“‘Cuz you’re our daughter and despite how much you raise our blood pressure, we love you and don’t wanna see you hurt.”

Azalea is quiet. She doesn’t know what to say that won’t sound insensitive.

“Also, I owe you an apology for earlier this week. There’s no excuse for me not knowing that ya had a track meet this afternoon. Your Ma gave me an earful about it already..”

“I won’t forgive you. Not now, not ever… but for what it's worth, watchin’ the kid wasn’t that bad. He says he had fun. Don’t expect me ta do this again, I’m just sayin’ that it wasn’t as difficult as I thought it was gonna be.”

Mammon’s eyes widened as he finally looked up from his phone, “Huh? Can you repeat that- I don’t think I heard ya right the first time?”

“Not on your life,” she huffs, “clean the wax outta your damn ears next time.”

Just as Mammon’s about to speak, there’s a knock on the door and a nurse appears.

“Miss Morningstar, have you calmed down enough for us to release you from the restraints?”

“I ain’t gonna punch or kick ya if that’s what ya mean…”

“Azalea be nice, she’s only asking you a question..”

“Oh, no, it’s okay sir, I’ve had far more combative and belligerent patients than your daughter.” The female demon reassures him that she’s taken no offense to the half-demon’s words. “We’ll go ahead and unrestrain you then,” the nurse makes quick work of the binding, and Azalea pops up like a daisy in the springtime.

“That’s better,” the teen sighs as she rubs her wrists. “Can I go now? I wanna go home and sleep this off.”

“That’s fine, there’s not much else we can do for you. We filled a prescription for you for pain management. We gave you some medicine earlier but it should be wearing off shortly.”

“Huh,” she says, “‘s that why my leg feels numb right now?” And then she realizes too late that she shouldn’t have said that.

Both Mammon and the nurse’s eyes widened at that little tidbit Azalea had just dropped on them.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on a tic, your leg is numb?” The white-haired demon arches a brow. “Why the hell are ya just dropping this on us now?”

“Okay, maybe numb isn’t the right word,” she backpedaled, “more like it’s tingling like my leg’s fallen asleep and I’ve got that weird feeling of pins or needles. I’m sure it’ll wear off eventually. Let’s just go home. I’m tired.”

“Numbness or lack of feeling in the leg could be a result of nerve damage from the bite,” the nurse mutters to herself as she turns to Mammon. “She’ll have to see a neurologist about that, unfortunately. We have one that we work with that I can give you a referral to.”

“Hey! I’m talkin’ to you! I said I was fine. I don’t need no stupid neurologist, there’s no nerve damage in my leg, everything is fine.” When she doesn’t get a response from either adult, the teen slides her way off the table and tries to sneak her way out.

“‘Zalea, what do you think you’re doing?” Mammon just happens to catch her movements out of his peripheral vision. “Do not walk on your leg. How hard is that to understand?” He getting fed up with the way she’s been acting.

“Well, how else am I s’pposed to get out of here? I just wanna go home.”

“We’re gonna go home after we get the referral just sit here,” he sat her down in the chair he had just been occupying, “and hold your horses. We’ll get ya a wheelchair in a minute.”

The half-demon grumbles something unintelligible as the adults continue their conversation.

You had such a great opportunity, why did you waste it? The thoughts that don’t feel like her own are back, You could have let Cerberus eat him and then gone about your day. It wouldn’t have been your fault. You did tell him not to go down into the underground tomb and he went down there anyway. He didn’t listen to you. Your parents wouldn’t have faulted you.

Azalea’s brought back to the present by a couple taps on the shoulder.

“You alright? Yer spacin’ out…”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” she shrugs and Mammon gives her a disbelieving look, “Look, I told ya I was tired, so of course, Imma be spacin’ out. I just wanna go home, okay?”

“Alright, Alright. Yeesh,” Mammon pulls the wheelchair over to his daughter and offers her a hand but she knocks it away.

“I can do it myself- don’t baby me.”

“Fine, do it yourself,” the demon steps back as he lets out a sigh, and Azalea is able to situate herself in the wheelchair and rolls herself out toward the entrance with Mammon following close behind her. Arella was waiting for them.

“So good news” she starts as the pair arrive, “I did some rummaging around at home and I was able to find my adjustable crutches from that time I fell down the stairs at R.A.D. and broke my ankle. The bad news-if you can even call it that, is that I wasn’t sure which notch to set it up to but we can always play with the settings and see what works best for you. Now, do you want help getting into the car or would you like to attempt it yourself?”

“Finally, someone who’ll let me do something on my own,” Azalea lets out a sigh of relief. “Yes, I want to try on my own.”

“Alright,” the human nods as she stands aside as her daughter gets herself into the car without much difficulty. “Are you all buckled in, Dear? Can I shut the door?”

Azalea only gives her a thumbs up and Arella closes the door as she and Mammon get in and head home.

*******************************

End

[universe-on-her-shoulders]

I posted 7,523 times in 2022

That's 947 more posts than 2021!

297 posts created (4%)

7,226 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@azraeldoesnotdispute

@minimoefoe

@toshisato

@expelliarmus

@langernameohnebedeutung

I tagged 7,523 of my posts in 2022

#our flag means death - 602 posts

#thirteenth doctor - 547 posts

#stranger things - 478 posts

#tenth doctor - 465 posts

#torchwood - 448 posts

#clara oswald - 359 posts

#twelfth doctor - 352 posts

#art - 331 posts

#yasmin khan - 322 posts

#eleventh doctor - 303 posts

Longest Tag: 133 characters

#so it's ok for you to be totally ignorant of mine but when i ask a question about a very very specific part of yours i'm an idiot? ok

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Oh my god oh my god Ianto and Owen playing Mortal Kombat and Owen getting steamed that Ianto is beating him

“How are you doing this?” Owen demanded to know, throwing down his controller and scowling at Ianto with overt suspicion as the screen displayed the final score. “There’s no way you’re this good at Mortal Kombat. It’s not normal.”

“Admit it, Owen,” Ianto told him smugly, setting his own controller down and taking a swig of his beer. “You’ve finally found something that you’re not excellent at, and it stings, doesn’t it?”

“You’ve got to be cheating. There is no way that move is even… how did you… I don’t understand. I’ve been playing this…”

“Since dinosaurs roamed the earth. I know.”

“Fuck off. You’ve got to be cheating. Did you get Jack to modify the console with some futuristic bullshit?”

“Nope.”

“Did you get him to give you cheat codes?”

“Nope.”

“Did you get Tosh to hack the system so you always win?”

“Nope. But I did spend a large amount of my youth in arcades.”

Owen looked over at him with considerable surprise; Ianto didn’t feel the need to elaborate further. It was, after all, none of Owen’s business that he had spent sizeable chunks of his childhood trying to avoid going home, and thus the arcade, the cinema and the local shopping centre had all been regular haunts.

“How much did you play this?” Owen asked with interest. “Just so I know what I’m up against.”

“About four hours a day, every Saturday and Sunday, for about six years.”

“I’m fucked, aren’t I?”

“Utterly.”

46 notes - Posted March 7, 2022

#4

Jack finally inveigles Martha and Ianto into a Jones-sandwich (interpret how you will).

"Well," Jack beamed, looking from Ianto to Martha and back again. "This is cosy."

"No," Ianto shot back, his gaze still fixed on the menu, although Jack knew he would've already viewed it online prior to tonight, and that he'd already have chosen what he wanted to order - drinks, starters, mains, and dessert. "This is a mid-range Italian restaurant in Cardiff city centre on a Friday night. It's about the furthest from cosy that you could get."

"It's a figure of speech," Jack protested, shooting an apologetic glance at Martha, who was sipping her glass of red wine with an expression that was somewhere between serene and suspicious; she arched an eyebrow in response. "It's cosy having the three of us back together. I feel like I'm in a Jones Sandwich."

"Is that the only reason you arranged this meeting?" Ianto asked with incredulity. "Because if so, I want you to pay for my dinner as an apology for the terrible joke. And you can bet your arse that I will be ordering the lobster pasta, and four starters."

"I was going to pay anyway," Jack lied with magnanimity. Surely he could charge it as a work expense? "So go nuts. Although you don't even like lobster."

"I do when you're paying."

"Boys, not that this flirting isn't great fun to watch, but I'm presuming you invited me here for a reason other than to either third-wheel, referee any rows about the bill, or to make jokes about Jones Squared," Martha interjected, putting her wine glass down and propping her elbows on the table in a businesslike manner. "So, cut to the chase, Jack. What do you need? Or what do you want, whichever. How do you want to play this?"

"What makes you think I want something?" Jack said with an air of woundedness that he hoped very much sounded sincere.

"Because since the funerals, I haven't heard a damn thing from you, and suddenly you're in my inbox with a dinner invite. So, what do you want? Guns? Intel? State secrets?"

"I just wanted to say hi!" Jack protested, to which Martha and Ianto both raised their eyebrows. "And yeah, alright, maybe some intel..."

Martha sighed, but to his surprise she didn't stalk out of the restaurant, which he considered a definite victory. "Alright, fine. But can we pretend to be normal over antipasti first? Warm me up a bit?"

Jack grinned. "With pleasure."

46 notes - Posted November 12, 2022

#3

It's movie night at the hub, something cute and fluffy with all of our happy pairings, post exit wounds but everyone's alive - they're just trying to recoup after Gray and all the damage to the city

“Right,” Ianto said pragmatically, closing the Blu-ray player’s drawer and retreating to the beanbags that Jack had dragged out of storage and arranged artfully around the conference room. Jack himself was sat on an adjacent beanbag, and Ianto realised for the first time quite how difficult it was to snuggle while sliding about on something with the approximate texture of water. Wrinkling his nose, he shifted his a bit closer to Jack and took his hand, reassured as Jack gave it a squeeze. “Everyone ready?”

“What are we watching?” Owen asked, cracking open a beer; Ianto was amazed that he and Tosh had managed to cuddle up together on their own beanbag, but he supposed Tosh was slightly smaller than Jack, and Owen slightly less preoccupied with being uncomfortable. As he watched, Ianto handed the can to Tosh, who accepted it with a quiet murmur of thanks and took a sip with a somewhat guilty expression.

“Casino Royale. Latest Bond.”

“You and your bloody James Bond,” Owen shot back, but there was warmth in his tone, and he grinned as he spoke. “Are we just watching this because you fancy Daniel Craig?”

“No,” Ianto said, at the exact same instant that Jack answered: “Yes.” The two of them eyed each other with their eyebrows raised.

“Everyone fancies Daniel Craig,” Ianto argued, as Jack smirked. “Don’t they?”

“I don’t,” Owen pointed out magnanimously.

“You haven’t seen the film,” Tosh reminded him, then admitted: “I do.”

“I don’t,” Rhys piped up from where he was ensconced on his own beanbag with Gwen’s feet slung across his lap from her perch beside him. “But I’ll watch it for the Bond Girl.”

“Perv,” she chided, kicking him playfully in the thigh and narrowly missing his crotch. “I do. And I’ll watch it for the Bond Girl as well.”

“Now who’s the perv?”

“I think Gwen makes a great point,” Jack reasoned with a grin. “Beautiful people and guns… sort of our MO, isn’t it?”

“Rubbish guns,” Owen noted, raising his eyebrows and jerking his head towards the armoury. “Compared to ours.”

“Oh, boys, don’t start the whole ‘mine is bigger than yours’ talk,” Gwen implored them, as the Blu-ray menu finally loaded. “Let’s just perv over the beautiful people, please and thank you.”

50 notes - Posted March 9, 2022

#2

Jodie for the BAFTA edition of the Radio Times!

108 notes - Posted May 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Jodie supporting World Down Syndrome Day 2022!

195 notes - Posted March 21, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[whythewords]

You might as well do something Part II (or How I Ended Up Day Drinking at a Town-Wide Garage Sale 90 km Southwest of Home)

It’s a weird one. My last entry was March? I’m sure a lot of things have happened since then but I’m not going to recap all of them in excruciating detail…I only remember them in slightly painful, pins-and-needles-ey detail.

I think it took only about until the end of March for me to get back on the dating apps. My track record of being a glutton for punishment is holding strong. There’s something about the distraction of it that’s drawing me in these days. I’d like to think that rejection after rejection, false start after false start, I’m becoming more and more numb to the whole thing and finding it easier to withstand and recover from things that don’t work out. I wanna keep telling myself I’ve adopted a sort of caution-to-the-win, devil may care attitude, but nope…just numbness. Sounds totally healthy! Well, oddly in some ways I think it is. More and more I’m understanding that somewhere, in the wide chasm between overinvestment and complete dissociation, there lies an approach to this whole thing that is suitable and perfect for me. I think I’m almost there.

Hey, speaking of overinvestment, I checked in on my investment accounts and finally had a proper conversation with someone at the bank about mortgage approvals. The investments don’t seem to be netting as much as they should, and the mortgage guy told me exactly what I already knew from months of cursory research: “you can’t afford shit in the GTA!” (that’s not verbatim of course, just my interpretation).

Amid all this there have been talks of other jobs. There’s a public sector job in Guelph that pays quite well that a friend is doing his damndest to get me an interview for. It’s still a hell of a longshot so I have to temper my expectations, but should it work out, it might open up a new door of possibility of potentially getting a place, my OWN place, out there somewhere. Again, an absolute longshot, gotta be practical, gotta be ready for any outcome. The other side of that coin is that jobs at my local municipality are apparently opening up again at some point and I may have a very good opportunity to slide in there. I did my co-op there. There’s a comfort. It’s abundantly clear that I would probably like a public sector job like that much more than my current gig, and likely learn more too without hitting a wall. That’s a safer bet than the other gig but also doesn’t get me that much closer to independence. In that case I have to consider other options: Stick around longer and save more to buy a place eventually. Buy a rental property that I can rent out for a couple years and eventually move into…after sticking around longer. The options are bleak (because they mostly involve me sticking around longer). But I’d jump on the opportunity to take the same or maybe slightly more pay at the city locally and work my way up while attempting to figure out a living situation. The current gig has run its course…despite the fact I’m doing a charity walk with those work folks this weekend and likely going to be on our annual work trip (this time out of province) in a couple of weeks. Something tells me these other jobs are set to crop up right around then. Timing sure can be a bitch. I suppose we’ll see.

Anyway, to keep my sanity amid all of this anxious spiralling about my future, I typically spend time with friends. There was supposed to be a family BBQ this long weekend but being that my brother was the one planning it, there was consistent uncertainty when and whether it would happen. Knowing this, I used it as an excuse to dodge an invite up to a little township called New Dundee with some friends, to stay with their uncles and take part in a Victoria Day festival and a town-wide garage sale. But then there I was on Saturday night thinking about it. I remembered being in a similar situation with these same friends, going similarly to an out-of-town event and me silently deciding that spending time alone over the weekend would somehow be a better use of time…and then another friend convinced me to just go and have some new experiences instead. In fact, I’m certain it was an entry on this very tumblr page a couple years back. I was already at my friend place locally for a hangout. I motored on home to grab change of clothes and some more stuff. On the way back, I realized that I forgot to bring any travel toiletries at all so I went by the local Shoppers Drug Mart and essentially made up a brand-new travel bag for myself (which I later realized I could also use for the upcoming work trip!). I crashed at his place in town and then drove with him to New Dundee bright and early the following morning.

His uncles’ place was absolutely gorgeous. Aspirational really. We sifted and sorted and organized and priced everything for the big sale the following day. His uncle’s husband put us to work gathering firewood from the backyard to stack in the garage for a bonfire later, but once that was done, we had a blast. Our hosts were incredibly hospitable. After a shower (in a tub that is so goddamn big it has ruined all other tubs for me) we ate some great food cooked and brought up by my friend’s mom. We drank and laughed and hung out. We walked the short walk up to the festival grounds to catch a great fireworks show. We came back and had a bonfire where I threw away my inhibitions and lead many a singalong on my handy little travel guitar (and the scotch offered up by my friends’ uncle and a few hits of the joint I had brought up with me certainly helped that cause). Back to work the next morning setting up for the sale. We enjoyed (but also melted in) the very warm weather we’ve been waiting for, continued drinking(and eating), made some sales, cracked some jokes. Packed everything up around mid-day, took a break, relaxed and chatted and then our hosts made us dinner and sent us on our way. I met some new people, had some new experiences…this is all that out-of-comfort-zone shit I keep telling myself to do and it applies everywhere, to music, to dating…

Oh yeah…dating. One more thing about that I guess: at some point before all this stuff happened and after my last entry, there was another non-starter. We matched, we chatted we went on one date, and despite the fact that we seemed to align on many things there was just…nothing there. I’m usually the one to just push through that and see if things just need more time to develop but it was simply not the case here. I didn’t want to continue. Maybe that’s a good sign? Maybe I’m getting better at determining what it is I want? I dunno, maybe not.

Since then and over the course of the last few weeks’ events, there have been a few other matches. I always tend to try to naturally float my situation into the conversation early so I can weed out any of my potentially perceived dealbreakers. Essentially, I try to let ‘em know the tricky stuff before we actually meetup so as not to waste anyone’s time. The tricky stuff I’m referring to is of course the whole “previously married, living with my folks” thing. A few people have carried on the conversation since (which is a surprise). One of them had a response that was particularly sweet. After explaining my whole backstory and multiple changes over the short span of time during peak COVID, she expressed sympathy and asked how I was doing with things now. I can’t explain it since this was all only through text but it was done in such a way that it seemed like a genuine sentiment of “oh man that sucks, I really hope you’re okay.” I could be completely delusional from all the time I’ve spent trying to figure this whole dating/apps thing out, who knows. Anyway, I asked her out, we’ll see what she says, and if she says yes, we’ll see where that goes.

Why do I keep doing this to myself? Who can tell, really. Hey, new experiences, right?

[stevestonbike]

More General Stuff.

My MET average has grown to 1799.9 MET minutes per week averaged over the whole year to date. Good for me! Yes I rode my usual loop last night, but some news items caught my attention this morning so let's talk about that.

One is that diabetes medicine Semaglutide has proved effective in reducing risk of cardiac disease by 20%. A real double blind study too. But it works by making people less hungry so they eat less and do not snack and therefore lose weight. It is expensive and this boutique use increases demand and makes it less available to diabetics. Drug companies rejoice!

Years ago I was a very busy person and started to skip lunch. Eventually I usually skipped lunch and my body stopped being hungry at lunch time. I was not concerned about weight or fitness so I did nothing else. My point is I did not feel hungry at a time I usually did before. No drugs involved, just a stupid workload.

The disease fighting mechanism above is eating less. Not the actual drug burning fat. Just thought I would emphasize that.

I have to admit my fitness thing is kinda bipolar. I spend my workdays typing and mousing and spreadsheeting away on the computer. Three times a week I go hard on the bike to make up for that. I got a fitness watch to remind me to get up and walk around at work, as 7 hours motionless from the chest down is not good. I sometimes pay attention when it beeps and says "MOVE."

Off my bike I am a potato. I rationalize that extremes of activity prepares the body for being stupid ready. Ya that is a total rationalization.

In even slightly more pathetic news apparently 2500 steps per day also reduced risk of Cardiac Death by 20%. Who needs 10,000? Yes a real study done in the UK. You can get fit by being lazy active. Actually that fitness watch nag is to do 250 steps every hour for nine hours so not quite even 2500.

The steps criteria is really a poor measure. I know there is a huge difference walking in one shot at a good pace versus spreading it out over a full day a tiny bit at a time. My wife does 10 k fitness walks in about 90 minutes. That is about 13,000 steps at her stride. She had to work up to that and it is an effort.

My Saturday ride covered 108 km and I got "credit" for 12,614 steps on the day. If I had walked that distance it would have been more like 110,000 steps.

Oh for the mathematically challenged you do not add 20% from drugs and 20% from walking to get 40% healthier. It would be more like 36% if they have a linear cumulative effect.

All in being active at anything is better than not. The human body wants to move, it was built for that. Our ancient ancestors walked miles per day hunting for food. I bet even a McDonalds Burger would be good for you if you walked 5 miles to get it.

So for the next few weeks I need to book moderately long distances. Part is just maintenance, part is making long days in the saddle more routine. My ass was getting quite sore coming down that FN hill.

This is my "summer" shape.