#did she think this was her high school musical moment where she gets to sing her feelings and then the crowd goes wild?

[onlyfangz]

what i dont get with the colleen ballinger alleged grooming accusations is if you wanted to brush all of this under the rug why in the fuck would you make an earworm of a song to do it? i have had the chorus stuck in my head since it came out, and every single time it gets stuck in my head, i’m reminded about how much of an evil creep she is.

[mouse-fantoms]

On top of being robbed of so much Juke content we’ll never get, what I think about alot is how Juke would have been approached more if it went further.

One of the (many) reasons I love jatp so much is it makes me believe their characters are real, that they have background, they have their own goals and ambitions to them, they’re fleshed out.

That moment of Flynn going “my girls got a crush and his name is Luke” and Julie going “what no?! Luke’s a ghost😳.” And Flynn saying “a cute ghost” and Julie giving in and saying “…with a perfect smile☺️” and adding that Luke is “cute air” which implies she has indeed given this Luke crush idea some thought.

That moment of just two best friends talking about the others potential crush like that’s such a good moment bc I genuinely believe that I am watching these two genuine besties just have that kind of talk with one another bc that happens!

Like that moment we have with our friends when they’re like “hey I got something to tell you 👀” or they approach you like “so… umm… I’ve been kind of noticing your behavior lately around this person.” It’s the realistic little things like that which is why I appreciate this show so much.

Julie having the line of “what no! Luke’s a ghost!” Means so much that, on top of acknowledging “hey he’s got a cute smile, and he himself is cute” she also acknowledged “…he is a ghost though…” but then our Julie being who she is (we love her for it) went “but he still do be cute though 🥰” like this is a genuine teen girl in high school having a crush

And then later on when Reggie and Alex bring up how Luke and Julie ooze chemistry (and the way that throughout the show when Julie and Luke are being cute and them, the looks that we see Reggie and Alex give like Juke and then each other is so good bc I genuinely believe like “yeah these boys are all friends with one another so of course they’d react that way to their other friend showing an interest in their fellow friend”) Luke’s like “no come on I have chemistry with everyone I sing with” HE DOES THE SAME THING JULIE DID WHEN THE EXACT SAME TOPIC EAS BROUGHT UP TO HER! (Soulmates your honor!)

Him denying it, like Julie did, implies too that he also had the thinking of “…she is alive though and I’m not” (I mean me personally I feel like Luke didn’t truly realize he liked her until later on even if there were signs earlier, just bc he seems like the kind of person where like music was his absolute everything like even if the Sunset Curve fangirls were always like ‘omg Luke is amazing 😍’, I just get the vibe that he would never really notice the advances towards him bc he is just so consumed in music and that is his whole existence, so when Reggie and Alex see that Luke appears to be falling for Julie it’s a big deal bc they’re probably like “Luke has NEVER shown any interest ever so the fact that a girl has replaced music in his life THIS IS A MASSIVE DEAL”)

And then the moment when they’re on Julie’s porch and she tries to hold his hand but ya know CANT (huge what a gut punched) and then she awkwardly looks away and he’s like “…this is an interesting little relationship you and I have” and they’re just there for a moment just looking and smiling at each other (THEY’RE FLIRTING SO MUCH WITHOUT SAYING ANY WORDS UGH TAKE ME 😩)

I am sat there genuinely believing that these are two teenagers who even though they know they’re not *supposed* to feel a way about each other, they still do. Like that scene is their confession to one another and it’s so sweet and genuine bc in that moment where Julie tries to hold his hand, they’re brought back to reality as to what they are and yet, they can’t help but still like one another and appreciate each other bc of what the other person has changed so much in their life.

AND THEN, that scene in the beginning of the last episode how Julie asks to talk to Luke (and Reggie and Alex immediately are like “oop leave them be 👀 they’re having a moment” being the greatest friends that they are) and they’re both standing there, in each others presence, it takes a moment for Julie to say what she wants to but they’re just two kids who ended up in each others lives and they know they like each other but they know they can’t act on those feelings yet they still just have this love for each other is so enduring and charming. The way Luke tells her “anything Julie you know that” MAKES ME MELT like ugh 😩 their dynamic and friendship has grown so much with each other from episode 1 to like now and it’s so just ugh it gets me

When I think how Juke could have been approached if we had gotten a chance, I would have loved to see the new like “glowing touch” development and how that would impact their dynamic. (I just imagine Reggie just hugs Julie all the time bc he can (he just seems like such a hugger and I feel like he’d give good ones🥺) and Alex also will gives her side hugs (they just take advantage of being able to physically touch her bc they don’t know how long they’re able to do it for with their new ghost development)) I feel like Luke and Julie would just be a bit apprehensive since the hand holding thing on the porch, and maybe their hug was just a one time thing.

Would have loved to see Carlos referring to Luke as “Julie’s boyfriend” (he was there for edge of great and stand tall THERES NO WAY he’s thinking anything of than “the sleeveless one is indeed my sisters boyfriend”) would be extra great too with like Luke being in the room and Carlos just says that and Julie quickly trying to make him not talk about it bc it’s embarrassing 💀 her just being like “Carlos, he’s a ghost” and him being like “…hey with you having a boyfriend are you going to have less time with Dad and I bc you’ll be busy kissing him?” And Julie’s face just goes pale as Luke takes the time to take himself out of room meanwhile his face his like bright red

Would have loved to see when Carrie’s redemption is happening and it’s Julie and Carrie and Carrie’s like “sooooo 👀 I’ve seen how you look at your guitarist” and she immediately tries to shut it down but Carrie is like “Jules, we may not have been that close in the past year and some but we’ve known each other for how long? I can see your tells!”

I just think a lot about how this ship, even though they’re not meant to like each other yet they do and still care about each other, would have been approached more if we got the chance

[cowgurrrl]

Tall Boy

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader

Author's note: I didn't go into writing this thinking I would write a little bit of spice so please be nice (poetry fr)

Summary: Fireworks, Uber Calls, Confessions, Oh My! [3.6k]

Warnings: consumption of alcohol, drunken shenanigans, Joel and Tommy being the only Texan men I would trust with my drinks, so much goddamn yearning, oh what's happening with Andie and Tommy??, Joel the Menace makes his return, smutty thoughts and actions (I've made them wait nine chapters they deserve to be a little horny. as a Treat.), getting caught, preparing you for Sleeping on the Blacktop

You don't get to cut loose very often as a teacher. You're almost always worried about lesson plans, grading, assignments, supplies, money (or lack thereof), politics, student's mental health, and a million other things that plague your mind when you try to sleep. Sure, you have a drink or two sometimes, but never anything close to like when you were in college and would end up back at your apartment at four in the morning just to get up three hours later for a lecture at eight. You weren't always going to be a high school teacher, and your past reflects that. And Andie has waited a long time to get a little bit of that spirit out of you again.

New Year's Eve starts easy enough with a nice dinner in downtown Austin with a glass of wine or two with the food. You and Andie got all dolled up in short, curve-hugging dresses and makeup and decided you would take yourselves out if nobody else was going to. "But we're not gonna get arrested like we did in high school, right?" You asked over dinner, but she just shrugged with a mischievous look in her eyes.

"We'll see where the night takes us." 

You bounced from bar to bar, sipping drinks and half-flirting with whoever approached, hoping for a free drink. Lucky for you, nobody is immune to Andie's charm. You lose track of how much you've had to drink once the room starts spinning pleasantly, and you can barely hear yourself over the loud music. You dance with beautiful strangers, sing along to the music, and even steal a cigarette from a willing accomplice outside. It feels good to act like your own age and not everybody's mom. 

By the time midnight rolls around for the Central Time Zone, you and Andie are drunk, leaning on each other and butchering the lyrics to Aud Lang Syne. "We should call an Uber!" Andie yells in your ear, and you nod. You stumble outside and squint at your phone, giggling at your fleeting thought.

"I've got a better idea than Uber."

You and Andie are sitting on the curb outside a gas station right off of Sixth Street, sharing a tall boy and following instructions to "stay put," when his truck pulls up next to you. Joel looks sleepy but not mad, while Tommy looks like he just walked up on a small miracle.

"I thought teachers weren't supposed to be fun!" He laughs as you hand Andie the beer and somehow get yourself to your feet.

"You, obviously, didn't have the right teachers." 

"I reckon so." He says as you dig your keys out of your purse to hand to Joel. He nods gratefully as Tommy helps Andie off the curb. They start talking about something, but you can't hear them over the way Joel's looking at you. Like he did at the gallery, his eyes linger on every piece of exposed skin he hadn't seen before. Something akin to worry clouds his vision, but you catch him looking at your legs and smack his chest. 

"Eyes up here, Mr. Miller," you call him out. "See somethin' you like?" You ask, and he chuckles at how southern you sound when you drink.

"You look very nice." He says, and you smile. For some reason, you step into him and rest your head on his shoulder. He's so warm, and you're tired and just drunk enough not to care about the rules. You feel him freeze for a moment before his hand comes up to your waist to help keep you upright. "Let's get you home, hm?" 

Andie refuses to leave Tommy's side now that they've gotten into an argument about the best musician of all time, and she decides to ride in your car with him while you climb into the truck with Joel. The second you're alone in the car with him, you just start laughing to yourself. Joel laughs a little, too, as he turns the ignition over. 

"What's so funny?" He asks, and you shake your head.

"Just you." You say, giggling a little more. 

"Me?" 

"Yeah, you."

"What about me?" 

"A few weeks ago, I thought I'd fucked you over, and now you're picking me up 'cause I got too drunk on New Year's Eve," it's not funny, but you laugh anyway. "You're a much better person than I am." You say. It's quiet in the truck as your words settle like dust on the dashboard. The only sound is the engine running and the distant sounds of fireworks popping in nearby neighborhoods. He takes a deep breath and rests a hand on your headrest to reach around in the backseat, producing his large jacket and pulling it over your body to protect you from the cold.

"I think you're a good person. Definitely a world better than me," he says as he puts the car in drive. "And, for what it's worth, you didn't fuck me over."

"No?" You ask, and he shakes his head, glancing at you as he pulls onto the road. 

"No." He says, and you hum. You pull his jacket closer to you and cling to the smell of pinewood, leather, and hints of his cologne. If they sold this smell in a candle, you would go into debt just to have it linger in every room. The thought presses on a bruise you forgot was there, and in your inebriated, vulnerable state, you can't stop yourself from staring at his profile as yellow streetlights and bursts of fireworks reflect across his face. 

You study him the way you've been dying to for months. Your eyes study how his eyebrows move with minute emotions and muscles. The way his big nose curves perfectly. The way his jaw clenches and unclenches when he's nervous or unsure what to say. You wish you had a piece of paper and a pencil to sketch his side profile as it comes into view between headlights. You don't believe in muses, but you believe in inspiration. Especially when you look at him.

"Thank you for comin' to get us. I know you'd rather be sleeping." You break the silence, and he nods. 

"I'd rather know you're safe than anythin' else," he says. "How much did you have to drink?"

"I don't know," you groan, absentmindedly rubbing at your face and no doubt smearing makeup. "People kept buying us drinks, and I'm so fucking broke, I'm not gonna say no to a free drink."

"People? What people?" He asks, his interest suddenly piqued. You shrug and put your feet up on the dash. He glances at them but doesn't shove them off. 

"I don't know. People. Men people." You say.

"Different men or the same guy?"

"Does it matter?"

"No," he says a little too quickly. "No, it doesn't matter. As long as you had fun." There's something off about his tone, but you can't place it. At least, not until he puts the final nail in his own coffin. "D'any of 'em try to get your number?" 

"Oh, my God!" You squeal excitedly as you sit up and put your feet back down. "Are you jealous?"

"No! Why would I be jealous? We're friends." 

"Yeah," you scoff. "'Friends.'" You say with intense finger quotes, and he furrows his brows as he looks at you. 

"Are we not friends?" 

"Joel, c'mon. I liked you from the second you walked into my classroom. We were never gonna be just friends." The confession comes loose before you can swallow it back down. It wiggles between you like a fish out of water, and you want to take it back. Not because it's not true but because you weren't ready to tell him. Things just got back to normal after the winter showcase. You're not ready to lose him again. 

"You're drunk," he says softly as if he's reminding himself more than anything. Maybe he thinks because you've been drinking, you don't mean it, but you do. You really, really do. It's too late to take it back, but you can try to bring levity back. You can try to backpedal a little. 

"You're drunk." You counter. He drives in silence for a few more miles, and the rumble of the car and the tequila weighing your mind down lull you to sleep— narrowly avoiding another hard conversation and worst-case scenarios.

You wake up on the first day of the new year hungover, sore, and in a bedroom you don't recognize. Bright sunshine bursts into the room and forces your eyes open in a squint. You almost jump up when you're greeted with a bottle of water and Tylenol on a nightstand that's not the white one on the right side of your bed. You sit up a little and look around at the cozy, if not a little cluttered, room.

The walls and the soft sheets are a nice, comforting blue. A few posters and pictures hang on the walls, and even a landscape painting hangs above the bed. Still, there's a little laundry strewn on the floor, and you recognize the closet full of flannel and button-up shirts next to you. You guess that's where your oversized, burnt orange Texas Longhorns shirt and black sweatpants came from. Snippets from the car ride and stumbling into the house fill your mind, and you groan in embarrassment. 

You remember Tommy calling Joel and telling him Andie got sick on the way to your apartment, and he didn't want to drop you off alone where something could go wrong. They offered to take you to their house, and in your drunk and stupid state, you said yes. You remember gentle hands holding your face as a cold, wet makeup wipe swiped across your skin, and thank God for that. Otherwise, you would feel worse than you already do. You remember hearing Andie and Tommy's voices outside the bedroom door, but you don't remember how you got into the room or the shirt. A light knock on the door pulls you out of your memories, and Joel walks in with a cup of coffee and a sympathetic smile.

"Good mornin', sunshine," he says, the right amount of mocking. "How're you feelin'?"

"Like I got hit by a truck." You say, and he laughs as he hands you the mug and sits on the bed. 

"I figured. I've got breakfast goin' downstairs. You need all the food you can get to soak up the alcohol." He says as you take a sip of the bitter coffee. You sigh into the cup at the (somehow) magical effects it has on your body, and he smiles. "That good, huh?"

"Yes, thank you," you say. "Thanks for everything. I know it probably wasn't fun trying to wrangle us last night."

"You weren't lyin' when you said how much trouble you and Andie got into together." He says. You think you could crawl into a hole and die at the embarrassing gaps in your memory.

"Oh, God. What happened?"

"Well, first of all, she wouldn't stop talkin' to you bout Tommy even though he was right there, but it was all good things. Then, you almost fell asleep on the couch after demanding’ Whataburger, and I had to carry you up the stairs. And then, Andie locked us in here and told us to figure our shit out."

"I'm gonna fucking kill her." 

"I'm pretty sure she almost fell asleep in the hallway waitin' us out. Tommy parked her in Sarah's room and slept on the floor in case she needed somethin'." He says. You knew the Miller men were kind and selfless, but this is a whole new level. You owe them a fruit basket or your kidney or something. You rub your temples and take another sip of coffee before taking two Tylenol. 

"And where did you sleep?" 

"You don't remember?" He asks, chuckling. At least he's not mad. If he was, you think you'd climb out the window and walk all the way home. "I tried to sleep on the floor, but every time I tried to lay down, you laid down next to me. You wouldn't even close your eyes unless I was next to you, so I built a little pillow wall and slept in bed." 

"Are you serious?" You ask, and he nods. You can vaguely recall getting into a hushed argument with him about kicking him out of his own bed and falling asleep against his chest, vindicated and content. You groan and bury your head in your hands. "Please tell me Ellie isn't here."

"She spent the night at Dina's house, none the wiser." He says. You almost say something about Ellie spending a lot of time with Dina recently, but keep your mouth shut. If something's going on, you doubt she wants her teacher to snitch on her to her dad.

"I'm so, so, so sorry, Joel."

"Don't be sorry. It was funny. I didn't know teachers partied so hard," he says, and you laugh a little. "Besides, it made me feel better knowin' you two were safe." You look up as he speaks and take a deep breath at how sweet he is. He smiles, and you scoot close enough to him to cuddle into his side. He welcomes you by tucking you under his arm and resting his head on yours. 

Your head is pounding, and your stomach is in knots, but the coffee and his presence help ground you. His hair is a little damp and smells like Ellie's shampoo. The thought of them sharing products makes you smile, and you rest a hand on his chest. Worn in, soft fabric cushioning your fingers as they rest over his heart. 

"Can we add this to our list of inappropriate secrets?" You ask quietly, and a puff of air leaves his nose in a laugh. He lifts his head from yours and looks down at you fondly. He doesn't look particularly well-rested, and you're sure that's your fault, but you also can't get over how beautiful he looks in the morning. His eyes are still heavy with sleep, his beard is a little unruly, and his shirt is crumpled, but the light streaming in makes his brown irises look amber and the grey in his hair silver. He's beautiful like this. He's beautiful all the time. 

"Course," he mumbles as he tucks a piece of hair behind your ear. His hand lingers on your jaw, fingers caressing your cheek, and your hand slides from his chest to his shoulder to keep him close. "D'you get a New Year's kiss, at least?" He asks. You purse your lips as you stretch your memory back.

"'M pretty sure I kissed Andie." 

"Nice." He says, too impressed, and you push at his shoulder. 

"What about you? You get a New Year's kiss?" You're walking the wrong side of the line, and you both know it. He smirks anyway.

"I was a little busy takin' care of these two drunks." 

"One time," you say. "I go out one time, and suddenly I'm a drunk." 

"That's all it takes." He shrugs, and you laugh.

"Apparently," you say. "Well, I'm sorry again. Didn't mean to ruin your chances of getting kissed." 

"Nah, you didn't."

"No?"

"No," he shakes his head as he leans in and kisses you, tilting your face up to him so he can control the angle. Two months. It's been two months since you last kissed Joel, and you can feel all sixty days of want in the searing kiss. He's not shy like he might've been in the past— waiting for you to make this first move— he's commanding and steals your breath out of your lungs when his tongue slides against yours. It's different, and so, so good. You wind your hand into his hair and lightly tug when his hands roam down your body and grab at your hips. You take the signal and throw a leg over his hips to straddle him, gasping when he presses into the small of your back and pushes you against him. 

Now, you're awake. Fuck the coffee.

You're dizzy when his mouth dips from your lips to your jaw, biting the sensitive skin there, and his hands wander below the fabric of your (his) shirt. His fingers are soft when they graze against your sides, skimming up your body until he squeezes your breasts. Both of you groan as you arch into his touch. He's barely touched you, and you're already soaked.

"Missed you." He whispers as his lips blaze a trail down your neck while his fingers lightly pinch your nipples. You grind your hips into his, desperately searching for friction, and he hisses like you hurt him. His hips canting up reassures you you didn't. "You gonna disappear on me again, sweetheart?" It doesn't come across as mean, but there's a new authority in his voice that you're not used to hearing. The dam isn't just broken. It's in fucking shambles at the bottom of the river. 

"'M not going anywhere." You breathe. "I promise." You think you mean it. You think you want to mean it. You think you're done caring about optics and what's "right." You want him, and based on the way the bulge in his sweatpants prods under you, he wants you too. He pulls away from your neck to kiss your lips again, wraps an arm around your back, and lays you on your back on the mattress. 

You tug at the back of his shirt and greedily let your hands roam over his chest and back when he throws it across the room. He's all broad shoulders and strong arms, and you can finally feel the muscles and warm skin you've thought about since way before that night in the bar. When his fingers trace patterns into your inner thighs, you moan into him and grip his forearm hard. "Joel, I need-"

"What? What d'you need, baby? Tell me." He asks, his fingers dancing closer and closer to where you want him. It'd be so easy for him to slip his hand under the waistband of your sweatpants and feel how desperate you are, but he hesitates. "C'mon, use your words."

"Fuck, I-" You start to say when the door creaks open.

"Joel, do you want— woah!" Tommy yells before you hear the door slam shut again and his feet rushing down the hallway, no doubt to tell Andie about what he just saw. Joel groans and buries his face in your neck, and it takes everything in you not to laugh. 

"I'm gonna fuckin' kill him." 

"I'll help you hide the body." 

"Finally!" Andie yells from downstairs, and this time, you do laugh. 

"They're never gonna let us hear the end of this, are they?" You ask. 

"Probably not," he says. He's unmoving over you, and you sigh as you kiss his cheek. He lets his body weight drop into you, and you play with his hair while he rests his head on your chest. His hands rest under your body and press you closer to him, smothering you together. His broad shoulders expand and contract with every breath, and you count them as you scratch his scalp. "I have to go get Ellie soon." He mumbles into your chest. 

"Then, we should probably go." You say. He groans and kisses your sternum before pushing onto his forearms. He kisses up your chest to your neck, forcing a shaky breath from you when he nibbles at your earlobe. 

"I want you in my bed all the time," he whispers in your ear, making you shiver. "Wearin' my clothes, makin' all those pretty sounds, not havin' to worry bout Tommy or anybody." His chest rumbles against yours as he speaks; all you can do is squirm under him. His fingers picking up their previous patterns don't help either. "Wanna feel you come over and over again. On my fingers. On my tongue. On my cock. Wanna make you feel so good." His middle finger rubs against your clothed pussy, and your nails dig into his shoulder as you try to suppress a surprised sound. You're so wet, you'd be surprised if he couldn't feel the damp spot on your underwear. "You gonna let me make you feel good, baby? Huh?" He bumps your nose with his, subtly asking for attention when all you can focus on are the lazy circles he's drawing over you. 

"Please." You whimper, but you're not sure what you're begging for.

"I know, I know," he murmurs. You know you can't get away with anything with Tommy and Andie waiting for you downstairs but you want him to make good on his promise. You want him. You have for so long it's burning you from the inside out. And yet, he pulls away from you with a smirk. "I'm gonna take all the time in the world with you next time." He says as he rolls off of you, and you're left lying there, shocked and flushed.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" You ask, sitting up, and he just shrugs as he pulls his shirt over his head. 

"I've gotta go get Ellie."

"Don't pull the Dad Card right now." You sound a little petulant, but honestly, you don't care. He worked you up to just walk away? This is cruel and unusual punishment. He presses his knee into the mattress and leans over you again, kissing you chastely.

"You'll have to get me back later." He says, and you sigh, shaking your head at the amused look in his eyes.

"I'm gonna make you wish you were dead."

"I'll believe it when I see it."

TAGLIST: @abbyhaslongshorts @kiwiharrykiwi @sumsworldz @myloveistoolittle @anavatazes @marantha @cosmoscoffeee @shyminnie07 @beezusvreeland @eddiemunsonsbedroom @harriedandharassed @doodlebob-mp3 @ignorethisplz2004 @buckyispunk @d1lf-loverrr @vee-bees-blog @moel-jiller @anoverwhelmingdin @casssiopeia

[ajortga]

lead, part 1

pairing: jenna ortega x fem reader

a/n: I don't know how to work this, it's my first story on tumblr, i use wp and I found this story so interesting, so I wanted to try tumblr out, we'll see how this goes!

in which, you get paired as a lead with your crush, jenna ortega.

part 2

-

Theater.

That's where home is to the heart.

It's just so captivating. You never want to let go of it. You know you won't.

You want to do it forever when you're older.

It all started when you were in 6th grade, you can remember it like nothing could ever be forgotten. Your teacher told your class that you would be visiting the high school and experiencing their performance of Matilda. You sat in the second row, next to your friend as the shining lights began to dim and the chatters quieted.

You can just remember how captured you were in the performance. Part of it was the actors, the freshmen, sophomores, juniors, and seniors that worked together so perfectly. Your focus was on them, the setting, everything. But you knew that day, something changed.

You remember telling yourself,

You want to do that for the rest of my life.

You remember thinking of directing or acting whenever your parents asked what you wanted to be when you were older, those careers were one of the only ones that stuck each time. Sure you knew it wasn't going to be easy, but a part of you told you that this is what you wanted. That's why you were trying, even after every time you were told no.

So you applied, 9th grade year. You remember crying to your parents when they rejected the dream of acting.

You had never cried so hard more than how much you did that day. Even when you knew your parents weren't so supportive of your film future, you just..

You just wanted to try.

So you did. Then you got into advanced theater and that was all it took for your passion to grow.

You auditioned, you sang okay, you loved to act, you wanted to do everything with film.

–

Today was the day of terror.

Well you wouldn't say terror, more like the anticipation was killing you.

Middle of sophomore year, which was now, you had auditioned for the lead role. Before you only got ensembles or tech, well there was a reason, you never had the guts to audition for a lead role.

The whole day you were shaken up, biting your nails, your heartbeat quickening whenever you heard even a mention of the musical.

During your film elective, right before theater, you were nearly dying.

Not even taking in any of the teacher's words, they were translated into musical songs. You shouldn't be so excited or afraid, you were in theater already, you were certain to get at least one role.

Something was different though.

You wanted the lead.

"Nervous feelings for the theater, huh?" It was a soft, sing-song voice next to you.

You turned to see your classmate, Jenna.

She was a small brunette with pretty wavy dark brown hair and warm caramel eyes that you could drown in.

You couldn't tear your eyes off of her, she was so pretty.

You glanced at your shoes, "Yeah.. Yeah sure, I wouldn't say nervous though."

She laughed, looking at you for a moment, "You know, I was there when you auditioned, your vocals were on spot and your acting was captivating to say the least."

You broke into a small smile, "Well thanks Ortega. I'm not used to compliments, especially in theater. You auditioned for which part? I saw you practicing lines the other day."

Now it was Jenna's time to smile, she looked back at you, "Yeah, it was pretty quick, I auditioned for one of the lead's too, not your part though. I just went through my script real quick, I honestly feel that when I look at scripts once, it sticks to me."

You were going to respond but the bell for last period rang, it was the moment of truth.

You held your breath, exhaling a sigh after a moment and turned to Jenna.

"Well I think this does it, good luck then?"

She nods, grinning, "Goodluck y/n."

Wait a minute, isn't the only other lead role the love interest?

Now that you are in theater, with everyone talking, you decide to grab your headphones and click play on your spotify.

You eased, you shouldn't be so nervous but you were. If you didn't get the lead, it would show your talent and you would under look any of your true abilities in film. If you got the lead, it meant that all eyes were on you, you would be playing next to Jenna.

Your heart sang.

Lie.

Not a lie.

Stop!

Your legs bounced up and down as your classmates were waiting for your theater teacher's response for the cast of the musical.

Your teacher, Mrs. Jenn went around the classroom, almost all of your friends getting ensemble or background roles, could it be any worse? The small roles were taken by your much more talented friends, didn't that mean that you could get a small role too? Or was it just life telling your oblivious brain that you were going to get the lead?

The teacher turned to you, grabbing a card from her basket, and made eye contact, she smiled.

"I loved your audition y/n. You depicted and portrayed the part perfectly, you got the lead role along with.. Oh! Ms. Ortega! Congrats girls!" She clapped her hands together, "Alright team, rehearsals start after school starting next week on every Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday! Let's wrap it up, I'll be handing you your scripts that we'll memorize in class."

Your stomach flipped, your heart was jumping out of it's chest, you got the lead you wanted!

That is what you wanted...

Right?

Then why is your heart beating so quickly?

Maybe it was knowing that the girl you developed puppy love for was going to play a love interest to you.

As Mrs. Jenn came up to you, she handed you a script that held lots of pages..

A specific page caught your eye, a scene where you and Jenna had to kiss, your eyes widen, nearly choking on nothing.

This was going to be a big problem..

[hasaniwalker]

A word about Alice

“Have you seen that evil Alice in Wonderland game at best buy?”

That was how I was introduced to it. A game that would stay with me for years after. I had no idea what the person was talking about at my high school in the A.V. room. I was there frequently, editing my first stop motion film (An adaptation of Edgar Allan Poe’s the Raven).  They told me she had a knife and there was a thin cat next to her. I was intrigued and the next time I was at best buy I wandered to the Computer Game department and found the box.

That’s when I was introduced to American McGee's Alice.

I feel like I should mention, I was not and still am not really a PC gamer. I do console games mostly and reserve my computer for animation and editing. This game however, I needed to play it.  I was gripped by the image. The stark red background. The haunting stare of the character. the hand on the knife. It was unapologetically dark and I was obsessed. 

I went online wanting to learn more. It was early 2000 and my home internet was still dial up. I still recall going online to the Alice website and finding a countdown page. It was a music box, a child singing in the background, a terribly broken  tune looping as the box threatened to open. It was haunting and perfect.  I’d come home from school and for the short moment while I was the only one there, I’d go to the site and let that strange tune play though the house. At the end of the countdown, the box opened to reveal a decaying baby doll head (All of this is from memory and may be distorted by time. I unfortunately can’t find any images of the countdown page.) It stirred something in me to see that page come to life. It was the early days of internet. The time of MySpace. So the site was crude by today’s standards, but it was the most amazing thing to me at the time.

I’d leave it open on one of the computers while I was in A.V. at school. friends would come and we’d watch Alice move (sitting up from her seat, marveling at her blade, dusting off her dress.)

And of course, take time to show anyone the trailer.

undefined

I remember this time of being a teenager entering adulthood, feeling misunderstood, anxious, scared, and losing myself in the music of Garbage, Poe and Crystal Method. Alice fit right in to the aesthetic of everything I saw at the time.  If Wednesday was the goth friend saying and liking macabre things, Alice was the older teen sister angry with the world and ready to scream at it with you. She was grunge, she was dark, she was frightening and wonderful.

I couldn’t afford the game, but I could afford the soundtrack. I ordered it from Amazon. A site that was also in it’s early days at the time. I hadn’t ordered much form the site, but I needed this.

I’ll always remember when the email alert came. My package had been delivered. There was a storm that day. I lived in Phoenix Arizona, and when we have storms it looks like the world is ending. The sky was dark, the thunder was loud. You had to get inside. I came home and went to the mailbox. The CD shape of the package nearly made my heart stop. I knew what it was, but holding it felt like an achievement.  I listened to that music daily.

Now, so you know, I didn’t just admire this game from afar. I did get the game for my birthday one year. I had talked about it so much that it was almost certain my mom would remember. It was the first computer game I owned. I was terrible at using a keyboard for games and couldn’t get through the first few levels without a huge amount of struggle. It was a lot of getting used to and I loved it.  

From the opening cinematic, the menu screen, the sound of the bell when you start the game. It was exactly what I wanted.

At the time I couldn’t think of another game like Alice. It felt tailored made from people with my mindset. A frightful game with a deep story and a character I immediately identified with. At a time where games had very action oriented goals, Alice gave a backstory of an asylum even coming with a patient log for Alice. All of it detailing the terrible fire, her mental state, and the struggle she was going through.

The best part of this was that I wasn’t alone in my admiration for this story. You could walk into Hot Topic and Tower Records and be greeted by large Alice statues modeled from the box art that captured my imagination from the start.

I wanted to see more of this character. I dreamed of seeing a movie someday.

And it almost seemed like I would get my wish.

There was news that a film was being developed of Alice with Wes Craven directing and possibly Natalie Portman or Sarah Michelle Gellar playing Alice. part of me hoped for an animated film with the original voices, but I was still gripped by this news.

At the time, I didn’t consider myself a horror person (feels weird to write that now since I think I’ve always really been one). I didn’t really seek out horror films and avoided gore. But I wanted Alice to by a disturbing and imaginative experience. I wanted to be scared watching this while feeling for the main protagonist and wanting her to reclaim her mind.

In a world where this film went the way I hoped, people would have movie nights today of Midsommar, Pearl and Alice. It would be a film that would take you somewhere you were afraid to go, but couldn’t look away from.

But then...I heard the movie wasn’t happening...and news of Alice stopped.

I never stopped thinking about that macabre girl and her journey through a tattered land of her mind. I listened to the music, revisited the game and also drew her now and then. lines from the game even made it into my typical dialogue (”Promise only what you can deliver” wise words).

I also still dreamed of seeing a film someday and would imagine who would play Alice (for a while I kept seeing Emma Watson as the character, but also still like the idea of an animated Alice.)

Then, one day, watching Attack of the Show on G4. I saw the most unexpected image.

Alice was coming back, and this time she would be on consoles.

The thrill was back, and as soon as a trailer came out, I immediately shared it with everyone.

undefined

I was quick to buy the game when it came out, and it was wilder than I could have hoped. A gripping story with tragedy, beautiful animations and moments that sent a chill through me. The kind of chills that made me pause the game and take in what I was seeing. The sight of a monstrous train rampaging through wonderland was a gift. The way Alice’s mind would unravel things was mesmerizing. Seeing life in London through her eyes and getting more of the history of the character (and the twist of the Red Queen’s identity) it was perhaps the only game that really pulled me in fully. I love games like the Arkham series, Bioshock, Horizon, Silent Hill, and so on. Alice to me felt like something more. I wasn’t trying to save a city or save someone, I was playing to help retain someone’s sanity.

The fascination with this character and world was just as alive as when I first saw all of it. I bought the art of book and still go through it and use it as a bit of inspiration if I have a creativity block.

 I carried my love for the character all the way to my work in animation and even built a stop motion puppet while I was working on Guillermo Del Toro’s Pinocchio film. A character who I was so taken by in high school now stood on my desk.

All this is to say that this take on Alice Liddell and her fantasy world has had a great influence on me. I was prepared to continue following this story and I hoped to someday see her find her way to the big screen and have a final story where she would come to peace with what happened to her.

The news that the tale of Alice is not going to continue is devastating. It’s troubling to see so many stories be brought to an abrupt end. for finales to never be given and answers to questions to be lost forever. 

There are a lot of stories that I believe deserve to be told, but we’re constantly given entertainment that’s simple, easily digestible, with nothing to say except to reference nostalgia and trend online. It’s hard to find something that you can connect with. Something that you need a moment to think about after you’ve seen it. Something that gets you emotionally. These things are found mostly in the passion projects of creatives. The projects they pour so much into and want to present to the world.  The projects that are not just made with earnings in mind, but also how you’ll connect to the audience. I think these projects are important. They push us to look further in and to question how we connect and interact with a story.

Too easily these types of ideas are thrown aside now and it’s harder for anyone to finish the tale they wanted to present to the world if it doesn’t fit with what a studio algorithm says. It may be a dark time to be a creative right now, but I’ll remember the stories that I connected with. The ones that hit an emotional part of me and made me stop and think about a new perspective on life, fear, depression, joy and how I connect to these things.

Thank you American Mcgee and the Alice team for taking me and many others through a Wonderland that reached into our very soul. 

[graciegoeskrazy]

Hey i was wondering if you could do a matty fic where his daughter comes out as trans to him and the boys? Or if you are not comfortable writing for trans people like just coming out as gay?

figure my heart out

Matty Healy + Queer!Teen!Daughter!reader

Warnings: coming out, a lil yelling

A/N: Hi!!! Okay so I was writing something similar but then I put it down but then I saw this request and RAN TO MY COMPUTER AS FAST AS POSSIBLE ASNCONTINUED WRITING BCUZ I GOT EXCITED. A sorry and thank you to the anon who requested this! I felt like I wouldn’t do it justice if I did it with transreader and as a bisexual with a similar coming out experience this was easy peasy lol. None the less i love and appreciate you and I hope u enjoy! I really really really really really like this one and I’m proud of how it turned out. Enjoy!

The epitome of a perfect night. Driving in your girlfriends new convertible with the top down while blasting Lana Del Ray and giggling and smiling like nothing else in the world matters became a wonderful feeling of pure bliss. You wish you could stay in that moment forever. Endless talking about the things the people who piss you off in school talk about, or airing out your problems to her because sometimes it feels as if she is the only one who listens. There was no one word for that feeling. All you knew is that you craved it. You needed it like a an IV through your arm, supplying nothing but joy and love into your life. You didnt just need her but she needed you too.

Yes it was a secret, but it was a beautiful one, Sure, sometimes you wanted nothing more than to parade through town with your hands intertwined and boat to everyone around you that she was your girlfriend, but this secret needed to stay hidden. Not just for her, but for you too. You were n stranger to the things your father has said online. He was Matty Healy, if the guy wasnt known for his music, he was for sure known as the man who makes homophobic jokes on stage everynight to a sold out crowd. The man has been cancelled and apoloized more times than you could count. Even though everytime he says he’s not against anything of the sort - ad you whole heartidly believed that - would it be different because you were his daughter? Some days that thought was just a quiet whisper in your head, and some days that voice grew louder until it grew loud enough to keep you up at night. But you always came to the same conclusion. He would love you no matter what…right?

Any and all thoughts surrounding it came nowhere near crossing your mind while you were at your girlfriends. After singing your hearts out and getting lost but not caring at all on the drive, you both decided to head back to her place since her tank was running low. It was there you fell asleep in her arms. Not thinking. Not caring. Not paying attention to anyone else in the world but her. And most definitely not thinking about you 11 pm curfew.

To June’s parents, you were just a friend sleeping over. A best buddy who helped their daughter get through her high school years. Nothing more than a nice, kind, good girl with good morals. And that was true. They just didn't know about the part where you make out with their daughter every time you’re under their roof. Same with you dad. They were downstairs, absolutely clueless of what was happening above them when a loud flush they made woke you up. You jolted awake and as a result of sleeping so close to your girlfriend, woke her up too. The blaring light on your phone read 1:07.

“Fuck.”

You scrambled out of bed and started packing up your bag without saying a word to June.

“What’s happening?” She said, still half asleep.

You turned to her, suddenly becoming more gentle. “Go back to bed. I missed my curfew, my dad doesn’t know I’m here. If I don’t leave he’s gonna get suspicious as to why slept over during a study session.”

She smiled at you, pulling you in for a kiss. “You’re just a very determined student.”

You fell into the kiss, and let go with a smile. “Bye.” You said. She winked and watched you walk out the door. “Text me when you get home please.”

You turned back and winked, shutting the door.

The drive to your house was uneventful. Yeah sure, you missed your curfew, but it wasn't like your dad was the type of helicopter parent to make sure you were home exactly by 11. You hadn't even received a call or message asking you where you were. If anything he was probably fast asleep along with the other members of the band. Or at least that’s what you told yourself.

When you walked into the flat you shared with your dad and your uncles, it was dead silent. You could hear the silent snores coming from Mayhem on the dog bed in the living room and the crickets outside. You were in the clear. You walked very carefully heading up to your room. Before you could even make it to the 2nd step. You heard a voice. Stern and loud.

“Y/n Healy.”

It was your father. Of fucking-course. As you slowly turned around you were met with him standing in the dining-kitchen area. A light turned on and revealed his full frame along with Ross, George, Adam, Carly, and Jamie. All sitting down at the table except for your dad, standing above them all. He slowly walked towards you as you stood still staring at him. You closed your eyes and let out a shaky breath, followed by a “Shit.”

“Where were you?” Your dad asked sternly. To which you replied, “Nowhere.” It was clear he was PISSED. He only spoke twice and it was evident you were in for something. He never spoke this way. Never to you at least. Until now. He raised his eyebrows, giving you a second chance. You sighed again, looking down and toying with your fingers. “I was with June.” You said shyly.

“Tell me the truth.” He said. His tone softened just a hair.

“That is the truth-“

“Tell me the whole truth.”

You dad knew you like the back of his hand. You were him. A literal miniature version of Matty Healy. Therefore he knew when you were lying. Not that you did it often, you were a very trustworthy kid. Never lied, never got grounded. (Ok so maybe not a literal miniature Matty)

You shrugged, “I was just with June.”

He raised his voice again, “Stop lying to me, y/n.”

“I’m not lying!” You raised your voice this time.

“Your hand twitches every time you lie.”

You were taken aback. Shit, I thought I grew out of that. You just scoffed. “No, it doesn’t.”

Adam spoke up and pointed to your hand and it’s movements. “Boom. Twitch.” You gave him a look.

Matty ignored him and stayed locked in on you. “In all of your years of existence on this earth, you’ve never lied to me.” He said, a little more gentler this time.

“And, I’m still not. I’m telling the truth-”

“But you’re not telling me the full truth.” He was very good at this whole parenting thing. He put his hands on your shoulders. You didn’t reply, just sighed and looked down. After a moment, he continued. “You’re grounded.” You head shot up. He walked back to the kitchen and started refilling his drink. You followed in suite.

“What! For what?”

“For lying.”

“I’m not lying! I’ve never even been grounded in my life.”

He shrugged, “There’s a first time for everything.”

You could not believe what you were hearing. “C'mon Dad! George, help me out.”

George was ethier high of drunk or both because he seemed to be enjoying this little argument way to much. “I’m on his side for this one, babe.” He said.

“What?! You guys, I'm not lying.” You said, gesturing to the group.

“You’ll be ungrounded when you tell me where you were.” Your dad said from the kitchen.

“I was with June! How many times do I have to say that?!”

“Doing what?”

Your eyes widened and you stuttered a bit. The group must have noticed because that to them was a giveaway that something more was going on than you cared to share for. “Nothing! We were just hanging out!”

“Your hand twitched again.” Adam yelled.

You turned to fully face him again. “I’m about to murder you.” You said.

You dad came back around and with a solum look, but a hand over your shoulder. “Look, I’m not gonna get mad. Whatever you’re hiding, it’s not worth getting grounded over. Tell me what’s going on - the truth - and all let you go. Okay?”

You couldn’t do it. There were so many possibilities of what could happen from this moment on. None of which you wanted to explore. You rolled your eyes and headed back to the stairs, whispering a faint, “Whatever.”

Your father followed behind. “Y/n Healy, tell me NOW-“

“I was on a date with June!” You yelled.

“We went on a date! Ok? We went on a date then went back to her place and watched TikToks for an hour before watching New Girl reruns and having awesome sex. I lost track of time, I tried to sneak in so none of you would find out, and so my secret would stay secret.”

The room was quiet. Only the sounds of Mayhem and the crickets like you heard before. Tears were falling out of your eyes and you were heaving pretty heavily.

“Is my hand shaking now?!”

Everybody remained quiet and still, not daring to move. “Jesus.” You said as a final goodbye, before walking up the stairs to your room as fast as you could.

A few minutes after they heard the door slam, Ross spoke up. “You fucked up bro.”

Matty shook his head. “It’s not my fault.” He said in defense

“Mate, you just forced your daughter to come out to you.” George yelled.

Marty liked back at the stairs. A single tear falling from his face as he does so. “Shit.”

[star-writes-sometimes]

stupid

word count: 867

cw: idiots in love, mutual pining, drugs mention

a/n: i disappear for months and come back with a remus blurb!! its the same remus and r as look after each other but you don't have to read that

---—---

remus didn’t knock on your door. he had stopped knocking on your door a few months after you moved in. 

there was soft, old music coming from your kitchen and a smile crossed his face. he could picture you before he saw you, twirling around the kitchen making some sort of soft pastry he was sure he’d end up ‘taste testing’ before they were all done.

sure enough, when he entered the kitchen there you were, twirling around in fluffy pyjama pants patterned with cartoon characters and a tight-fitting tank top that he couldn't help but linger on. he clumsily leant on the doorframe and smiled as you swayed your hips and sang along quietly to the music.

“i can’t do my homework and i can’t think straight,

i meet her every morning ‘bout a half past eight, ”

you were rolling cinnamon rolls and placing them into a baking tin. your hair was pulled into a loose ponytail causing some pieces to fall out and lay across your face and neck. remus’ smile grew at the way your nose scrunched when a piece got in your eye.

“i’m acting like a lovesick fool, 

you’ve even got me carrying your books to school, ” 

its a song he had heard you listen to you before but never sing along to, so he was thoroughly enjoying it. there was a small homemade bracelet on your wrist that matched one that remus was wearing under his sweater.

“hey hey, set me free,

stupid cupid stop picking on me, ”

you spun around and finally noticed remus making you yelp in surprise, “remus when did you get here.”

it takes him a moment to process your words and slowly blinks, “uh about a minute ago?”

you hummed in response and covered the tin with a towel and place it in the fridge, “how was sirius’?”

“it was good,” he watched you set an alarm on your phone and moved closer, leaning over the bench to observe you.

“did you drive home? i thought you were gonna smoke, i don’t like you driving while high remmy.” you frowned and washed your hands off.

“no james and lily dropped me off.”

“they weren’t high?”

“lily wasn’t there she just came to pick me and james up.”

“good.” you grabbed his hand and pulled him into a hug.

remus wrapped his arms around you and held you close. he buried his nose in your hair and inahled deeply. the smell of cinnamon around the room couldn’t compare to the way it clung to your hair and skin.

you looked up at him and pressed a kiss to his cheek, scrunching your nose at the scratchy feeling of his stubble. he looked down at you with a similar look of adoration and kissed your forehead in response. 

both of you soaked up each other's presence, just stayed together inside the warm kitchen. 

the song changed over and you had matching smiles across your faces. remus grasped your hands and pulled away slightly to wrap one arm around your waist.

you giggled and wrapped your hand not holding his around his neck, “you gonna dance with me rem?”

“you’re lucky i’m high,” he grumbled.

i know i stand in line

until you think you have the time

to spend an evening with me

remus was a perfect gentleman, you’d thought so when you met him. not in the traditional way - he was a drug dealer - but he always did the little things. opening drinks and doors for you, helping you to bed and holding your hair back when you drink too much, always keeping snacks and water for you in his car, and now, dancing with him in your kitchen, you are certain that in his own untraditional way, he was perfect.

and if we go some place to dance

i know there is a chance

you won’t be leaving with me

he spun you around as gracefully as he could and you let out a loud giggle before falling back into him and he swears his heart grows. if purgatory was where he were bound he was certain the memory of that laugh could keep him sane.

then afterwards we drop into a quiet little place

and share a drink or two

you both moved closer to each other. you could feel his breath on your cheek. his lips parted as if he wanted to say something but the words wouldn’t come to him.

and then i go and spoil it all 

by saying somethin’ stupid like ‘i love you’

he closed his mouth and leaned down to kiss your cheek instead, “you look beautiful.”

the sincerity in his voice caused your breath to catch in your through and it took a second to formulate a response, “you're so handsome remmy.” 

your hand traced a scar on his lip, you wanted to kiss him.

so you pulled away.

you couldn’t. so instead you rested your head on his shoulder and continued to sway to the music with him.

it was better to have him as a friend and suffer the pain in your heart than to not have him at all.

[theboywithburninghands]

Is it possible to write a Funnybunny/Buttonblossom story without Pomni? I dunno, but I just did. Anyway, this one is a little on the short side, but it took a complete 180 from where I was originally going with it. And I think the result is good, one of the better things I’ve written… That said, it is a little bit on the heavier side. So I’ll drop a small content warning just in case, but really it shouldn’t be any rougher than your average romance movie. Hope you enjoy!

Young and Dumb

t/w: angst, relationship drama

Another day came to an end. The adventure, forgettable. Somewhat unpleasant, but nobody died or got maimed. Dinner was fine, digital spaghetti and meatballs. The performers said their goodbyes and headed off to bed. With the exception of two.

Ragatha left the tent, holding Layla, the music-playing microphone beetle that Kinger picked up from a few adventures ago. It was Ragatha’s turn with her, and the doll-woman wanted to savor the opportunity. She walked a long way to her favorite retreat; a copse (Dark Souls II taught her that word) far in the back of the woods by the Digital Lake. She didn’t love the woods on account of her fear of bugs with too many legs, but there were so few places to be well and truly by herself around here. It was like what Kierkegaard said. There can’t be joy without risk.

Or… maybe that was faith without risk. Who the hell was Kierkegaard anyway..? Eh.

She came to her small thicket, or “copse.” It was distinguishable from the rest of the woods by the mossy boulder in the middle of it, softly illuminated by the digital starlight. Ragatha spent many evenings sitting on that boulder. Sometimes she cried for hours. Sometimes she screamed in rage until her voice was completely dried up. Sometimes she just laid on the boulder and stared at the sky. Once she laid there until dawn.

She first checked the rock for any insects, before sitting cross-legged on it, smoothing out her dress. She placed Layla down on her lap, the microphone-beetle looking up at her expectantly.

Ragatha: Layla, play… Into the Great Wide Open by Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers.

Layla nodded and began to play a heartland rock song. Ragatha closed her eye and let the music take her away. Hardly even realizing it, she began to sing along.

Ragatha: “Eddie waited ‘til he finished high school

He went to Hollywood, got a tattoo

He met a girl out there with a tattoo too

The future was wiiiide open…”

Jax: You’re kinda flat, Dollface.

Ragatha opened her eye and turned about on the boulder. Jax was leaning against a tree, his eyes also closed, with his hands tucked behind his head. Ragatha rolled her eye and tapped a hand to her lips.

Ragatha: Shh. Listen for a second.

The two of them remained quiet as Layla played Ragatha’s selected song. Ragatha swayed in time with the music, relishing every last note, before it concluded about three minutes later. She then smirked at Jax.

Ragatha: Ill met by moonlight, proud Jax.

Jax: What’d you say?

Ragatha: It’s from Shakespeare. What’s up? If you’re here to put a centipede down my dress again, you might as well get it over with.

Jax: Nah. It’s way funnier when you’re not expecting it. Can I join you? *points to the boulder*

Ragatha: Sure.

Ragatha scooted over as Jax strutted to the rock, sitting down and crossing a leg over one knee. There was a moment of somewhat awkward silence before Jax spoke up.

Jax: New kid is adjusting pretty well.

Ragatha: Mmm. She’s definitely a fighter. At least in an emotional way.

Jax: Think she’ll outlast us?

Ragatha: Come on, Jax, you know I don’t like thinking about who’s gonna abstract next. Hopefully nobody.

Jax: That’ll be the day.

Ragatha: …Well, I know for a fact it’s harder to completely give up hope when you have feelings for someone.

Jax shot Ragatha a look, who met it with a small, confident smile. The rabbit sighed and rolled his eyes. He balled his fists for a moment before unclenching them.

Jax: …Did she have fun?

Ragatha: Huh?

Jax: At the theme park. With Pomni. Did you have fun?

Ragatha: …Yeah. I did. It’s the same old rides, but… it’s a whole different experience having someone to share it with. To see react to stuff, y’know?

Jax: Did you two make out~?

Ragatha: Ugh, don’t be a creep.

Jax made some obnoxious kissing sound effects.

Ragatha: You know, I could ask you the same thing! Did you make out with her?

Jax: *immediately* Yeah.

Ragatha: Wh- *blushes* Oh. Uh. Hm. Wait, you can kiss people? Do you even have lips?

Jax: Huh? What are you talkin’ about?

Ragatha: No, I’m just thinking about the logistics of the whole situation, does she like… kiss you on the teeth?

Jax: I got lips, genius. *closes his mouth around his teeth*

Ragatha: Yeah but can you pucker them? Or do you just sort of… bump your lips against hers?

Jax: You’re reaaaally into my kissing techniques there, Dollface. There something you’re not telling me?

Ragatha: Dream on.

Jax: More like “have nightmares.”

Ragatha: Ha! Even if I were to kiss you, which I won’t, I think you’d find it perfectly acceptable at the very worst.

Jax: At the very best. At the very best I find it acceptable. At the very worst, I might puke in your mouth.

Ragatha: Jax! Blech… *sticks out her tongue* You always take it too far…

Jax: You all just don’t take it far enough...

Ragatha: Oh whatever. It makes me happy you’re enjoying your time with Pomni.

Jax: Why wouldn’t I? She’s… she’s alright. *he blushes faintly*

Ragatha: Yeah. She is alright. I’m really proud of you.

There’s a prolonged silence.

Jax: What?

Ragatha: I said that I’m proud of you.

Jax: You’re… “proud of me?”

Ragatha: Yeah. You’ve come a l-

Jax: What do you mean you’re proud of me, proud of me for what?

Ragatha: For-For finding someone that helps you get through the days, you know? It's hard to keep going.

Jax: That wasn’t what you were going to say. You said “I’ve come a long way.”

Ragatha: Oh. Well… I dunno. I can tell you’re softening up a little.

Jax: Huh?

Ragatha: I mean, Pomni is good for you. You’re not nearly as… well, as much of a jerk as you were before. Sometimes you need someone in your life that grounds you.

Jax: So what’s she doing for you?

Ragatha: What do you mean?

Jax: Well she makes me less of a jerk. What does she do to help your personality, huh? Or do you not need to change anything?

Ragatha: Hey now, I wasn’t saying anything like that.

Jax: But you get to be “proud” because the new girl makes me better? Like you got nothing to fix or already have romance figured out.

Ragatha: Jax, it’s a compliment!

Jax: Alright, look. *he stands up* I’ll let you kiss Pomni, but you don’t get to talk to me like I’m your baby brother.

Ragatha: Sorry, you'll let me kiss Pomni? And I mean, I am eight years older than you…

Jax: Oh so you do think I’m a kid, nice.

Ragatha: Jax, you know I didn’t mean it like that-

Jax: Amazing. It’s not enough you get to treat me like a child, you get to come into my relatio- my, my- you get to come into my life and take my girlf- *the words catch in his throat and he stops*

Ragatha: What..? *she stands up* Jax, where is this coming from? You told me you were okay with sharing!

Jax: Yeah, well… maybe I’m not so much.

Ragatha: You... Pomni said-

Jax: I know what I told Pomni! I told her…

There's another lengthy pause

Jax: I told her what she wanted to hear!

Ragatha: You…

Jax: She was freaking out over liking you, so I just bit the bullet and told her it was fine so she wouldn't flip out. I thought I could deal with it… But you know what? I can’t! It hurts just a liiittle bit to have someone you… the… the first person who you ever really cared about in this dump just up and decide that you’re not good enough for them and go find someone else! Especially if your replacement is some condescending knock-off!

Jax poked her hard in the left shoulder, and Ragatha slapped his hand away instinctively.

Ragatha: Jax, stop it!

Jax: No, no, you know what? Keep her! I’m just a dumb kid, right?! It’s pretty d@#& clear I’m not cutting it anymore! I hope you two have fun! I’m better off alone!

Layla piped up with a peppy late nineties techno beat upon hearing Jax’s words. The corner of the rabbit’s mouth twitched with rage.

Jax: Oh you think you’re funny..?

Ragatha: Jax, she doesn’t know any better-

Before Ragatha knew it, Jax had his hands around the beetle, who gave a squeal of feedback at being grabbed so tightly.

Jax: You little-!

The rabbit reared back

Ragatha: NO JAX DON’T!

Jax threw Layla hard into the woods, the tiny creature rocketing into the treeline. Ragatha gasped and ran after Layla, falling to her knees and palming around in the tall grass for her. She eventually felt a small round body and pulled it free from the leaves of grass.

Ragatha: Layla, are you okay? You didn’t hit a tree did you?!

Layla’s eyes twirled in circles before she blinked the confusion away and shook her head “no.”

Ragatha: *gives a long sigh of relief* Jax! Why would you-

Upon turning around, the rabbit was nowhere to be found.

Ragatha: Jax?

——

Jax made it to the edge of the forest. He panted and grabbed the sides of his head. His chest hurt. Shame and fury and guilt grappled in his stomach like a knot of snakes.

Jax: It’s late. I should… I should sleep.

He said this aloud to himself, a pitiful attempt to calm his emotions like twisting the cap back on a bottle of soda that was about to erupt with fizz. He just wanted to go back to his room. So he started walking.

His throat hurt. He kept walking. His vision became blurry. He kept walking. His cheeks were getting wet. He kept walking. His breathing hitched. He stopped walking. He fell into a squat. He got back up. He walked to the lake shore and sat.

He cried. For the first time in years, he cried.

And he cried.

And he cried.

[daphnebowen]

Today’s prompt for twelve days of rina is favorite musical moment. I am going to be completely honest I have no idea what this means. Is it talking about song wise or like actually performance wise during an actual musical?

I’m gonna go with the first one.

my absolute favorite rina song has to be love you forever. and sure, Gina really doesn’t sing a whole lot during the song but does that matter? No. It’s about Gina, for Gina, to Gina. the implications of this song are incredible. Ricky is promising his whole life and forever to this girl. he’s known her for a year and a half basically and thru that year they have been thru so much together. They’ve grown together, grown apart, grown towards each other, and now are growing together again. some of my favorite absolute lines from love you forever(this might turn into a whole lyrical analysis bc there are so many good lyrics so just buckle up):

“I’ve never been more sure of what I’ve got, I’m staring at the only thing I want, so”

UGH. this line. It kills me, every time! Ricky is confident in his love for Gina. He knows what he feels and he’s known it for a while, but the problem is he didn’t know when to tell her. their lives have been a whirlwind of crazy for a couple of months but I am fairly certain that Richard Bowen has moved Gina Porter for a long time.

“I’ve been running I don’t know what from”

this is Ricky Bowen to a tee. He’s the guy who runs, he’s the guy who disappears when things get rough, he’s the guy who hides away when he doesn’t want to confront his feelings. so the fact that Ricky is now admitting this to Gina and showing her now that he knows what he’s done in the past but he’s changing! He’s gone thru so much character growth and he’s better for it! And I think that takes so much courage to be able to admit that because everyone he’s friends with knows Ricky’s habits. they can put two and two together. The camera guys, they don’t get the meaning of this line, eh whatever, he’s noncommittal, but it’s not that, it is so much more than that, and Gina knows that and Gina gets that.

“but you and I’ve become a sacred kinda home”

ah yes. this line. Gina is Ricky’s home. Gina is the place where she feels seen, and understood, and known. Ricky was the first person to see Gina for who she truly was and look past all of the intimidation and the fronts she was putting on so people wouldn’t know the real her. but Ricky saw her for who she was. and for me, this is a promise to Ricky. They’re building their own sacred home together and that to me is so special.

“so rare so real right here in this moment”

oh my. I love this line so much. the usage of the word rare is so amazing I have no words, bc rare really does define Gina and Ricky’s relationship. they’ve gone thru so many unique problems and really did get it all, because in so many movies you can’t have it all. If this were any other show Gina would have had to pick between New Zealand and Ricky, between her future job and her future love. but in this case her futures are tied together, they are one and the same, if that makes sense. she can have both and she will have both, because Ricky and Gina’s relationship is rare and true and beautiful and absolutely real.

“cause I love you feels a lot like high school and forever after that”

again, I just love this line because of the implication that rina can and will have everything that they want. they beat the odds, essentially. They’re meant to be and they’ve proven it. love can be found all over, whether romantic or platonic even. The relationships that you make in high school don’t have to end when you graduate - they can last forever beyond that and Ricky and Gina are proving it. and like I said earlier, how in some movies the girl has to choice between her dream career and her dream guy and with hsmtmts season four, she doesn’t. She makes her own future with both of her dreams in it. and that is so powerful and profound. bless these script writers and these song writers.

“I wanna finish what we started in the stairwell where we met”

oh my gawwww-

this is probably one of the most rooted lines in rinas history (that sentence did not make sense but I’m too tired to find out a way for it to make sense so suck it up). the fact that they met and instantly clicked and had a gut instinct from a two minute conversation in a stairwell about an ex and how to win her back. Even when Ricky didn’t think he was going to speak to her ever again both of them did what they do best: give each other some of the best advice of their lives, whether they realized it or not. Gina wouldn’t have gone to theater club if not for Ricky. Ricky wouldn’t have sang itikyk and gotten Troy and started rina on this whole crazy journey if he hadn’t spoken to this “intimidating” girl and gotten her advice. and even though we know this flashback wasn’t shot originally in season one (I’m pretty sure, right?) you can tell that the chemistry is off the charts. From one sighting. and the “finishing what we started,” going big with the declaration of love, that’s what Ricky is finishing. He’s finishing what they started but also continuing their love story on. and that is beautiful and heartbreaking and I will never ever be over them.

[d-criss-news]

Napa winery offers Broadway star Darren Criss fertile setting for intimate outdoor concert

[UHQ] Broadway star Darren Criss performs at Napa’s Carneros Resort and Spa as part of the Broadway and Vine series on Friday, July 28. (Photo by Bob McClenahan)

Broadway star and “Glee” actor Darren Criss is the latest star to make a compelling case for staging more musical theater events outdoors.

Performing against a backdrop of pink skies and rolling vineyards on Friday, July 28, the San Francisco native and Emmy-winning actor was exceptionally charismatic as he tackled classic show tunes and covered a dizzying array of artists. “Welcome to my wedding,” he joked upon taking the small outdoor stage facing several hundred folding chairs. From there, he was off, serving as a one-man jukebox as his selections veered from British alt-rockers Keane to singer-songwriter royalty Carole King. Between sets, Criss peppered in stories from his strange journey to stardom.

-------------

The intimate outdoor concert provided a perfect opportunity for Criss, best known for the five seasons he spent playing Blaine Anderson on the popular Fox series “Glee,” to formulate a set list that doubled as an autobiography of sorts. At one point, he introduced a cover of “The Luckiest” by Ben Folds by explaining that he’d originally intended for it to be his character’s last song on “Glee.” It’s hard to say Criss made the wrong choice, given the original number he ultimately wrote (“This Time”) would earn him an Emmy nomination in 2015. But his take on Folds’ lovelorn ballad, played at the piano, was a breathtaking glimpse into what might have been.

Later, he dusted off  “To Have a Home,” which a small subset of the audience may have recognized as one of the songs Criss penned for a Harry Potter parody musical he made with friends back in 2009. It was a gesture of appreciation to an audience built from many factions of fandoms. By the end of the night, Criss had done an admirable job of catering to as many of them as possible. 

Alternating between piano and guitar, he managed to imbue every note with a lively joy, be it a take on Tom Petty, his version of “Grease” torch song “Hopelessly Devoted to You,” or his spot-on Kermit the Frog impression. He even invited fans to make requests of songs his character did on “Glee,” which he then compiled into an improvised medley for his encore.

But the moment that best encapsulated the evening was watching Criss belt a faithful rendition of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” as real birds flew past him and merrily chirped away into a backdrop of the Napa Valley sunset. 

And yet, there was another highlight that may have topped it all, this one in the form of an unexpected guest.

As part of the series, each Broadway and Vine show typically includes a duet or group performance where local students are given a chance to sing alongside their idols. On Friday night, Criss welcomed Amarech Mendez, a 17-year-old student at Burlingame’s Mercy High School, to cover Bob Dylan’s “Make You Feel My Love.”

Arranged in the style of pop singer Adele’s recent rendition, the presence of Mendez was clearly no favor but a well-earned honor as she belted out her parts with impressive conviction. It was a moment that instantly reminded Susana Gonzalez, 57, of the time her own daughter, Diana, now a student at Stanford, was invited to sing a duet with musical theater star Shoshana Bean in 2021 as part of the Broadway and Vine series’ first season.

“This is a real gift,” Gonzalez said. “Jacob is an ambassador, not only to the community but to the kids. It allows them to dream and think about the fact that they can do anything. I mean, where else do you get a performer singing ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow’ and get actual birds?”

Nic Meerholz, 40, of Napa, was also impressed with the show, which should be welcome news to Criss, who saw Meerholz’s hand go up twice early in the evening when he asked if anyone in attendance “didn’t give an eff about musical theater” and was “dragged here by their partner and has no idea what’s happening.”

Criss thanked Meerholz for his honesty and dedicated the rest of the show to making a convert of the man. 

At the conclusion of Criss’ 16-song set, Meerholz confirmed the artist accomplished his mission.

“I came into the show not knowing anything about musicals or Broadway and it was just absolutely fantastic,” he said, “ I didn’t even know who Darren was. I’ve never watched ‘Glee.’  Nothing. Magical! It was just a magical evening.”

[deliciouspirateangel]

just finished binging the entirety of high school musical: the musical: the series in six days and now i'm going to ramble about it for longer than anyone would care to read. it's gonna be generally positive but definitely nini and olivia unfriendly so if you dont wanna read that... dont ♥️♥️

so i suggested to my sister a while ago that i wanted to watch the show bc the videos that youtube commentary channel "pretty much it" did for it were hysterical. and she had watched the first couple of eps by herself and was like "i dont think you'll like it. its not as funny as they make it seem". but we finally decided to start it anyway

(also i dont know the entire casts' real names so i'll mostly refer to them as their character names)

season 1:

that first season was kind of rough. especially the pilot. it got better over time but its definitely my least favorite season over all. im not even a fan of high school musical so it lacked the nostalgia enjoyment for me

and i definitely did not like nini and her main character syndrome. and sorry to say but i think olivia is the least talented cast member over all. pretty privilege is so real like she didnt deserve to be the break out star she was just the most marketable. kourtney and ashlyn's voices were so strong and stellar, and they might not've been Dancers but they could definitely move. and gina was the best dancer in the fucking world and while i do think her voice wasnt as good, she could obviously still sing. nini's best talent moments were when olivia was shining thru imo (that one taking it for gra-a-a-anted song comes to mind first) but i was not here for the acoustic numbers and honestly i dont think she was a great actress

so i definitely wasnt a fan of the whole nini ricky gina ej love square. i know its a tried and true teen show staple but goddamn it got tiring. i just never liked rini and i didnt like how nini treated him right from the start asklfjlds. she was also rude as hell to everyone else, especially gina, being all passive aggressive towards her. literally saying she wanted to kick gina in the face bc gina is a good dancer and she's intimidated?? but also all the talk in general about gina being intimidating or aggressive or a bad seed like ??? the microaggressions were off the charts

not to mention the fucking macroaggression of kourtney's entire s1 "character". i think hattie mcdaniel had a more nuanced role in gone with the wind. it was so fucking painful to watch. she didnt exist to be anything other than nini's personal soundboard, cheerleader, stylist, life coach, and whatever else she needed in the moment. thank god they gave her a real character by s2 bc kourtney was way too talented, too gorgeous, too charismatic to be forced into the role of nini's handmaid the whole time

i dont really have much to say about s1 cause i wasnt into it at the time lol. it was okay. all the actors did a good job, it was kind of funny, the only song that really stood out was miss jenn's fantasy sequence song with lucas. the actually high school musical show they put on was painful to watch but thats high school theater for you babyyy

season 2:

this was such an improvement from s1 and my favorite season over all. there were a handful of eps in the middle where i was constantly like "this is my fave ep" "ok this is my fave ep" "ok now THIS is my fave ep" it was a delight. i love beauty and the beast and was so happy for ashlyn getting belle, and everyone else was very well cast. although idk why seb was chip and not cogsworth?? my sister said it was bc disney didnt want to confirm that they were gay 💔💔

the music was obviously better bc we've got fucking alan menken on the track. all the numbers from the show were perfect. i wish ej had gotten to sing the gaston reprise bc he didnt get to reach his full gaston potential and i think we deserved that 💔

the debacle with the whole rose song was sooo annoying. nini deserved to be that fork. she dragged the whole show down like it was always so much better when she wasnt there aklfjlksd

the rivalry with the other school was lots of fun. i liked all the new characters. my favorite original song was miss jenn's number with derek hough

season 3:

this season was likeee a pleasant mid for me??? idk it was fine and fun but it didnt have anything in it that blew me away. i think this season was screaming for extra episodes more than any other, since we were missing a chunk of the cast. we deserved to cut back to salt lake every now and again and see what the non-camp-goers were up to

kourtney and gina as elsa and anna was a dream. not the biggest fan of frozen but they did a good job. everyone looked so cute in their costumes and kourtney's solo was amazinggg. the new characters were fun but i dont have strong feelings towards them lol. but i loved getting to explore kourtney's character and her struggles with anxiety, that was very real

them filming a documentary was funny bc have they not been filming one this whole time? my headcanon was that the to-the-camera interviews were all in their heads and everyone was practicing for when they became famous lol but then ricky ruined that in s4 by acknowledging them directly rip 💔

i liked after their show ended and they all got sharpies and wrote their names on the walls back stage. that was definitely a potent theater kid memory and got me a lil teary eyed

i liked ej taking on the role of director and copying miss jenn's hand holding and high pitched singing at the first read thru. i liked ej and gina together i thought they were cute. it was disappointing that the show wouldnt commit to them for even a minute and they always had to be teetering on the edge between being a couple and not. that was frustrating

and girl just get nini out of there already. olivia wanted nini to be there as much as i did. she was sooo over it by s3

umm favorite original song was corbin bluh's basketball song

season 4:

very very fun season again. loved the chaos of filming the movie at the school while school is happening. as if every movie set in a real school doesnt shoot in the summer. oh well. gotta have a season!

there was too much mack for me personally. i dont think he gave wanted they wanted to be given. i needed more dani tho. her actress was so good at bad acting. she couldve been a much bigger comedic presence also she looked like a cross between sofia carson and emma roberts but sometimes just looked like a latina emma roberts ??? is that just me??

and still the lack of seb and big red at the beginning like ?? did they specifically piss off the writers so they had to banish them for nearly half the show?

loved that the little girl from camp was there. she stole the show. and maddox and jet are fine alskfjsldk i just didnt form strong opinions on them but i do like them

ashlyn's "i need to give her mouth to mouth! AS A FRIEND!" was the funniest line of the entire show hands down

so happy they finally had a halloween episode! it was lots of fun and everyone looked so cute in their costumes uwu. but that guy from camp that was stalking carlos??? that was so bizarre and it never paid off likeee what was the reason

and gina's mom was pissing us off so bad. she was acting wild this season. like gina has to focus on her studies so no boys but she can work from sun up to sun down on a movie lmao. and her mom had the nerve to be like "well i never came to your shows bc that was just high school theater but THIS is a movie" like wooow. and i swear it felt like she was about to sell gina off to mack bc he was famous. and when she started with that "porters dont wait around" mess and ricky cleared her with a quickness with that whole "well i seem to remember gina waiting around for you on opening night" like damn

and omg when mack was over for dinner and ricky came over with chocolates but saw him thru the window. i was like ugh fuck its gonna be the stupid thing where he sees this and gets the wrong idea and its gonna be a stupid wedge between him and gina that doesnt need to be there bc no one can communicate BUT THEN gina sees him outside and runs to him and i think i screamed bc i was so relieved aslkjskl but their kiss was very cinematic and cute ♥️♥️

and omg on sunday night im sitting there trudging thru s1 like "yeah starting this might've been a mistake" and by friday im bawling my eyes out bc the story is ending 💔💔 sofia deserved the whole fucking egot and a golden globe too for that scene at the end. and i was SO invested in her acting career and like pleading with the show for her not to pass on it and stay at school but fucking genius that she is found a way to do both!!!

and i honestly didnt know what i wanted miss jenn to do like i was rooting for her both ways but of course she staaayed. and the show ended and it had the "skip credits" button and my sister was like "oh there's something after the credits?" and then i saw "for good" listed at the end of the songs and i screamed again. and was bawling again when everyone was singing that. who knew this silly little show would have such a death grip on me by the end???

so over all it was really very good and not a waste of time. i liked pretty much every character and it was just a lot of fun! would definitely watch it again

my over all season ranking would be two, four, three, and one is dead ass last

my favorite characters from the start were gina, miss jenn, carlos, ashlyn, and big red lowkey alskfjdskl. kourtney got up there in s2 and beyond. and i do really like ricky, ej, seb, they're my secondary faves. (kinda wish ricky had more to do bc aside from his parents, i feel like every single one of his issues had to do with a love triangle and i just wish the character was granted a little more texture) and the camp kids were good, they were fine, they're like third-iary faves. and the only ones i dislike are gina's mom and nini lol

and i wasnt like screaming over any ships but generally i liked them all except rini. ej and gina was cute, i liked ashlyn and maddox, i liked ashlyn and big red, carlos and seb probably were my faves if i had to pick, i liked kourtney with howie (wish we saw him again) and jet, and yes by the end i was rooting for rina they just won me over this season and were super cute and im glad they ended where they did ♥️

[eddie-redmayne-italian-blog]

'Cabaret' comes back to Broadway starring Eddie Redmayne and Gayle Rankin

APRIL 20, 20248:00 AM ET

HEARD ON WEEKEND EDITION SATURDAY

NPR's Scott Simon speaks to Eddie Redmayne and Gayle Rankin, who star in the new Broadway revival of "Cabaret."

SCOTT SIMON, HOST: You probably recognize the music from the first notes. (SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "WILLKOMMEN") EDDIE REDMAYNE: (As Emcee, singing) Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome. Fremde, etranger, stranger. SIMON: "Cabaret," the 1966 Broadway musical by Joe Masteroff, John Kander and Fred Ebb. It's drawn from Christopher Isherwood's memoir of high times and hot jazz and is set in a fictional Berlin nightspot called the Kit Kat Club. (SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "WILLKOMMEN") REDMAYNE: (As Emcee, singing) Im Cabaret, au Cabaret, to Cabaret. SIMON: At a time when sequins, high-stepping flappers and forbidden love gives way to goose-stepping and beating Jews on the street. A new revival of "Cabaret" has opened on Broadway after winning seven Olivier Awards in London. Eddie Redmayne plays the Emcee, and he joins us from New York. May I say willkommen to you? REDMAYNE: You may indeed. Hi.

SIMON: And Gayle Rankin the British chanteuse who comes to Berlin. I get to say fraulein Sally Bowles. (LAUGHTER) GAYLE RANKIN: Hello, darling (laughter). I had to (laughter). SIMON: Oh, my gosh. Wait. Sorry. Let me just catch my heart for a moment. Thanks so much. (LAUGHTER) SIMON: Eddie Redmayne, you've played the Emcee before. I was about to say early in your career, but really, before you started your career. REDMAYNE: That's absolutely true. Yes, I was a kid. I was at high school when I - we did a little school production. I think I was about 14, 15 years old. It was one of those moments in my life where I would say really I fell in love with theater. It thrilled me, and it made me think, and it moved me. And so I always sort of credit it weirdly as being the thing that that got me into acting full and proper. SIMON: What does the Emcee do for the audience?

REDMAYNE: I think one of the reasons the Emcee is such a iconic role and one that so many actors lean into is he's so enigmatic. He was conjured by Hal Prince and Joel Grey as a way of connecting the Sally Bowles story, and so he almost lives in an abstract place. And so for an actor, that is joyous because there are sort of no limitations on the one hand, and it's also quite daunting. He sort of starts as a puppeteer almost, the kind of the Shakespearian fool, perhaps... (SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "TWO LADIES") REDMAYNE: (As Emcee) Come on, my little ones. UNIDENTIFIED ACTOR #1: (As character, singing) Beedle dee, deedle dee, dee. UNIDENTIFIED ACTORS: (As characters, singing) Beedle dee, deedle dee, dee. REDMAYNE: (As Emcee, singing) Beedle dee, deedle dee, beedle dee, deedle dee. UNIDENTIFIED ACTOR #2: (As character, singing) Beedle dee, deedle dee, dee. REDMAYNE: (Singing) Two ladies. UNIDENTIFIED ACTOR #2: (As characters, singing) Beedle dee, dee dee dee.

REDMAYNE: ...Who then, over the course of the piece, rises to the all-knowing king or the sort of from puppeteer to conductor, and he becomes rather than the victim, he's almost the perpetrator. And so this person that's hopefully pulled you in at the beginning of the evening and seduced you and made you laugh, you realize is actually conducting the entire piece. (SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "IF YOU COULD SEE HER") REDMAYNE: (As Emcee, singing) If could see her through my eyes, she wouldn't look Jewish at all. SIMON: And Gayle Rankin, you have played other roles in "Cabaret" before Sally Bowles, haven't you? RANKIN: I have. I made my Broadway debut, actually, playing Fraulein Kost in the Sam Mendes revival 10 years ago with Alan and Michelle and Emma Stone. Eddie and I were just talking about it just the other day, and he was like, is this so weird? Is it so weird? And I was like, you know what? It's not weird. It's not weird. And it doesn't - I feel like a new person and in a new world 'cause that's - you know, "Cabaret," it comes back, and the world is new a decade later. It's new, and it's also the same.

SIMON: Help us look inside of Sally's mind and heart. What brings her to Berlin in the early '30s? RANKIN: You know, there's not a lot that's given to us, you know, about Sally. (SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "MEIN HERR")

RANKIN: (As Sally Bowles, singing) But I do what I can, inch by inch, step by step, mile by mile. For me, it was very important for me to kind of figure out Sally's relationship to artistry and creativity and why she ended up at the club. And there's a huge, you know, kind of cultural discussion about whether Sally has talent or whether she does not have talent. And that's a really fascinating thing, I think, to me. And I think it's amazing how people think they can decide or that they know that she's not - quote-unquote, "not talented" or is talented. It's just wild to me. SIMON: I have to ask. There are so many famous names who have played the two parts into which you two step now - Dame Judi Dench, Natasha Richardson, Michelle Williams. Alan Cumming, Joel Grey have played the Emcee. I didn't even mention the film with Liza Minnelli and Joel Grey, now, did I? So do previous productions inspire you, or do you just have to, you know, leave them in the fridge? REDMAYNE: I've been such a passionate fan of "Cabaret" since I was a kid that I've seen everything in the sense that I've - you can see some of Sam's production on YouTube. I saw Sam's production with Emma and Alan. I've watched the film. I even saw a random Spanish version when I was... RANKIN: Oh.

REDMAYNE: ...Younger. And they've been so brilliant, the productions before, that I hope we come sort of standing on their shoulders and with great respect for them, but also trying to do something new and fresh. And one of the things that was important for me was that idea - one of the Emcee's first lines is leave your troubles outside, and that for audience members coming to see this in New York, you enter via a sort of back alley. You get taken down into the underbelly of the theater, where there is an entire cast of performers playing in these really beautiful spaces, and you get a bit discombobulated. It's labyrinthine, and you get sort of lost, so that by the time you are taken actually into the theater itself, which sits in the round, hopefully, you have genuinely left all memory of 52nd Street outside. SIMON: I got to say, your production reached through to me with something I hadn't quite realized before. Things are terrible and getting worse on the streets. They're beating Jews and putting them into ghettos. There's a refuge in the club. There's also a refuge in Fraulein Schneider's boardinghouse, where she, for the first time in her life, really has a relationship with a man who happens to be a fruit seller and a Jewish man. Both your characters have that refuge in the club, and they have their characters in the boardinghouse. But, you know, refuges - well, real life can bring them down, can't they?

REDMAYNE: Absolutely. And I feel like the play, in its essence, is a warning in some ways. It serves as a warning about when hate can take over humanity and when humanity is lost to hate. And that feels so relevant at this moment. There are so many examples of that throughout the world today, but I hope that the brilliance of what Kander, Ebb and Masteroff created was that it seduces you in and in a way that feels really sort of magnificent but then begins to touch on these - this repetition of history that resounds and serves as a warning. RANKIN: And it kind of - what's so scary about it is how the refuge is created, and then you slowly realize that actually, there's a poison inside of your refuge. SIMON: What do you take in from the audience every night? REDMAYNE: Well, I mean, one of the joys for me as a performer is the intimacy of the space. So there's not really a sort of a bad seat in the house at the August Wilson, and the other character in the room with the Emcee is the audience. And what I have loved about our experience in New York is people because it's an event almost, the evening, from the second you pass the threshold. The theater's been redesigned and reconfigured in a way. People are getting dressed up. So you have people in black tie next to people in fetish gear next to people in jeans and a T-shirt, and you get all sorts of characters.

RANKIN: And to have a relationship with the audience, you know, and to enjoy how fun... REDMAYNE: Yeah. RANKIN: ...This is and can be throughout the show till the very end - what is written in this piece, there's - we're still laughing through tears at a certain point toward - for the very end of the show, and that's what's so kind of timeless and important about this space, that there's something that doesn't die inside of our club. SIMON: Gayle Rankin and Eddie Redmayne star in the new production of "Cabaret" on Broadway. Thank you both so much for being with us. REDMAYNE: Thanks for having us. RANKIN: Thank you so much. (SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "TOMORROW BELONGS TO ME") REDMAYNE: (As Emcee, singing) The sun on the meadow is summery warm. The stag in the forest runs free.

https://www.npr.org/2024/04/20/1246083026/cabaret-comes-back-to-broadway-starring-eddie-redmayne-and-gayle-rankin

[anies-vocalsynthhcworld]

KaiMiku Headcanon 💕💕

(Clarification: to the last description of each paragraph, it takes place in a TimeScip of my Headcanons where it is approximately the time when Miku (19 years old) and Kaito (22 years old) already show more signs of being a couple)

Kaito did only know the love and affection based on his parents and high school friends, Meiko and Kiyoteru. He never had the experience of being in a loving relationship, except for facts that in his past when he tried to find someone to date, he only ended up humiliating himself and being rejected, which gave him the comfort of his loved ones after failing in his attempts. With time and nowadays, whenever Kaito is mentioned about romantic relationships, he can only get nervous and blush when he remembers his time looking for his partner...Until he met Miku...clearly he knew that they differed in certain things, but something united them, and that was that she didn't know anything about experiencing romance either, both he and Miku managed to sing love songs within Vocaloid, they were lacking in theme. Kaito had mixed feelings for her, he admired her intellect, her voice and the progress she has obtained from socializing being kind and sweet when meet other people, but he waited for the right moment to confess, he doesn't want her to reject him.

Miku, only knows the love between the family, during the great time of her life she has never made real friends and even less experienced what it feels like to be in a loving relationship. She only concentrated on her books and studies in order to have her promising future, even if in high school she had to put up with her classmates who already had a partner and teased Miku by calling her a "virgin". But when she entered Vocaloid, everything changed for the girl, being in a company looking for music lovers could help her connect with her inner musical muse and even make friends along the way, and she did, but...she needed to meet the right person. Among her friends, she began to feel something special for Kaito, Miku was aware of his kind and charitable personality, but lately she begins to cling more to that kind-hearted blue-haired boy who loved music and ice cream, Kaito made her more tender than he always invited her to eat one during breaks, she blush thinking about him, being hugged by him or he smiles at her, indeed, Miku loves him.

[newd1rections]

ZACHARY DE LA CRUZ: ( eighteen year old senior in hs verse ) zac is a dalton legacy who never expected to find himself among the warblers. he genuinely still doesn't know what drew him to them, because with a boy who literally dyes his hair pink to pop amongst the blue and red blazers of dalton academy? how does he fit in a group where 90% of the members sway in the background and make vocalizations. he doesn't have an answer, but he loves the warblers like brothers and he's proud to be a part of them. as a senior, zac has somehow ended up on the warbler's council . . . probably due to his lack of selfishness and just wanting what's best for the team. he's just out here vibing ninety percent of the time, and he's happy to let other people take the spotlight. he's just glad to be included.

LIAM DE LUCA: ( eighteen year old senior in hs verse ) liam transferred to carmel high from mckinley high in his sophomore year after his father got a new job on the other side of town. this was probably the worst thing to happen to liam's already overly inflated ego. liam was always a musical kid, the lead in everything he did, singing, dancing, performing . . . he has big dreams for broadway. so when he switched schools, the first thing he did was audition for vocal adrenaline . . . and he got in ( of course, he'd happily add ). he's been taking on male leads in almost every performance ever since. he's got broadway on his mind, and he's determined to get there as soon as he graduates.

JENNA BRADY: ( eighteen year old senior in hs verse ) jenna's a lifelong pageant queen and still brings that energy to everything she does. she's been in pageants since she was a toddler, and she is also in the running for miss teen ohio ( in her older verses, she's a reigning miss teen ohio and is chasing actual titles a.k.a. miss ohio, miss usa, and the whole nine yards ). she's also a member of vocal adrenaline and is constantly pushing herself to the forefront. she respects her teammates and will let others shine . . . but she's always going to push for herself first. she's genuinely a sweetheart . . . until you're competing against her or get in the way of what she wants.

ESTEFANIA AGUILAR: ( eighteen year old senior in hs verse ) three sport athlete, vocal adrenaline member, all around bad ass. stef has been a part of vocal adrenaline since she was a freshman. she's one of the only members afforded the luxury of being allowed to participate in extra activities because she's never once faltered. no matter what's going on sports wise, vocal adrenaline comes first. with soccer in the fall, basketball in the winter, and track in the spring, there's no way one girl can do it all . . . hence the rumors around carmel that she's actually a robot ( clearly untrue, but she thinks it's hilarious ). stef is fiercely loyal, a team player through and through, and she's definitely vocal adrenaline's personal pitbull, ready to fight for them at any moment. she's also the queen of psychologically tormenting their competition. it's her favorite hobby.

[katscatnip]

Listening to one song on repeat

My experience with listening to a certain sound or song on repeat for long periods of time.

Shown below all this text is my most recent streams on Spotify. as you can see,, there is just one song listed, and that's because It's all I've listened to for the past 2 days or so.

I have done this kinda thing sing as long as I recall having personal access and control over what I listen to. my earliest memories of it being the time my mom let me chose the song we play on the sound system (the song in question was Rock the Nation by Michael Franti) and i would constantly ask her to "play it again!" until she couldn't handle it anymore. Next it was when we bought the Curious George movie on CD and in the bonus features, there was a music video for the song played earlier in the movie Upsidedown by Jack Johnson (again was eventually asked to stop playing it over and over lmao.

Next was when i was old enough to stay for the "after school program" it essentially let the kids get into fun toys and boardgames and such and what I would do every single time is find one of the three sony CD walkmen in the electronics box, put in the Shrek soundtrack cd and set SmashMouth's allstar to loop, then proceed to walk up and down the gym's left wall gliding my fingers against the textured grout for the next hour and a half to three hours depending if it was an extended day.

Next was another walkman, my older sibling's bf at the time would bring one over with him when he visited along with his latest playlist burned to a cd and would let me borrow it. this is when I heard the oh-so-familiar and desired FireFlies by Owlcity (my current fav song at the time that I could only hear on the car radio when going into town) where I would proceed to lie on my upper bunk bed in complete darkness and imagine I was in space.

Another time was when a different friend would bring over their iPod and I would loop a couple greenday and Metallica songs over and over (I don't remember the song names now lmao)

Fast forward to my teen years im actively annoying my siblings after playing a song 7 times too many. yada yada ya-

I am aware of that now,,

my friends have been pointing out traits that were worth looking into for a while and I finally did and ya. when I went in they said it was not hard to notice and identify it from the moment I walked in the door.

Anyway, this post isnt about that its actually about how self-aware and insecure I've become from having others perceive this part of me. I've never really had any bad experiences aside from the occasional family member shout at me to "stop playing the same song" which is whatever.

The real issue for me is things like Spotify Wrapped and the idea that what I listen to as an auditory stim is perceived as my "taste" in music and such. i guess its rooted in maintaining a kind of character in the social aspect, and feeling like I have to make what I listen to look palatable to peers and that means having a high listen count and knowledge of artists whose music has meaning and depth while also not being caught listening to the opposite (breakcore, hyperpop, noise, goofy nonsensical hip-hopy stuff, etc)(?)

Which I'm finding to be stackingly exhausting and I think I've trying this year and lastyear to give myself the grace of being me and not conforming to the shape I feel pressured to fit into.

I hear and read a lot of peer's takes or reviews on music and such (which I think is important to have ofc) but it kinda feels to cliquey for me to feel fully comfortable being in those circle's conversations.

sometimes i just like the noises and vibration pattern coming from a specific artist's stuff and don't take in or care about the meaning or depth of a song's lyrics,, anyways yeah. here's some of the semi-recent past loops: (noise warning on some!🔊) 757, Hollywood baby, Improved mashcore, kickback, 3 o'clock things, Being so normal, Uncanny long arms, Leg room, Stuck Inside

below is my current song backslide by 21 Pilots. the tapeworm synth and silly bass drops itch the itch good :+)

[sakuraswordly]

Taylor: It feels like we have such a long way to go.

Punch: I know. I knew that very well but look how far you have come.

Joy: I just don't think, I can do it.....

Taylor: So what's a place to call home?

Sonic: Sometimes your mind plays tricks on you, it can tell you you're no good, that's all hopeless just like you see in here and now. Joy.

Punch: But I've discovered this: you're loved and important and bring things that no one else can to this world.

Punch hugs Taylor and tries to open her to the light. In Taylor's mind, Sonic hugs Joy as well.

Punch: So hold on.

Taylor: I finally discovered what I wanted to convey to the world....it was there from the beginning....I've always had a theme, and it's always brought about positive results......I didn't have to change anything.....All I care about is creating. Whatever I want to create, I create with my sense of beauty around me. Whatever I find intriguing, I grasp with my own hands. That's why....

Like Taylor Swift, Our Universe Has Gone Through Many Different Eras

While Taylor's Eras Tour explores decades of music, our universe’s eras set the stage for life to exist today. By unraveling cosmic history, scientists can investigate how it happened, from the universe’s origin and evolution to its possible fate.

TAS Rights Management/Getty Images

When I reached out my hand and touched you a single high note came into my heart we watched the sky getting dark together and the world which continues everywhere was calling

By falling in love and learning pain we become human beyond the night you cried resound the cymbals of time

I surely believe that our karma which is drawn in the sky plays the song of love the tears of the red moon, quiet music as if to share the light with each other

To stay alive— Why does that simple karma bring pain instead of happiness? I’m always dreaming of quiet music to reach the distance where I sleep with you

Source: Red Moon Music: Yuki Kajiura Lyrics: Yuki Kajiura

Taylor: Where are the lights........I can't see anymore......

Punch: Success isn’t the end, and failure isn’t the end either. What matters is the courage to keep going. And you did it very well. So please don't throw yourself to the darkness again.....

Taylor: You really are a white horse.....

For a moment, Ms. Swift was out of the woods she had created for herself as a teenager, floating above the trees. The future was within reach; she would, and will, soon take back the rest of her words, her reputation, her name. Maybe the world would see her, maybe it wouldn’t.

But on that stage, she found herself. "I was there". Through a fuzzy fancam, I saw it.

And somehow, that was everything.

Taylor Swift: This song is about my band, and my producer, and all the people who have helped us build this brick by brick. The fans, the people who I feel that we are all in this together, this song talks about the triumphant moments that we’ve had in the last two years

Swift dedicated "Long Live" to her bandmates and fans. The lyrics celebrate moments of triumph in the narrator's life, featuring royalty (kings and queens) and high school imagery ("You traded your baseball cap for a crown / And they gave us our trophies / And we held them up for our town") to describe the accomplishments in life. The narrator describes herself as a queen who, with a king by her side, fights dragons to protect her kingdom. Swift also acknowledges that her triumph will fade some day, and there are bittersweet and poignant moments ("If you have children someday, when they point to the pictures, please tell them my name"). Towards the end, Swift sings, "Will you take a moment / Promise me this / That you'll stand by me forever," which Billboard interpreted as her message to her fans. Perone commented that the lyrical theme of overcoming odds to achieve victory, coupled with the "near anthem-like structure", resembles David Bowie's 1977 classic "Heroes". Brittany Spanos from Rolling Stone agreed with this interpretation, saying that "Long Live" throws back to "Heroes" by how "it portrays two lovers who have amicably parted ways but not without leaving an unforgettable mark on one another"

Taylor: I don't have to be afraid of darkness in my heart anymore. We’ve had times where we just jump up and down, and dance like we don’t care how we’re dancing, and just scream at the top of our lungs, “How is this happening?”

Warning ⚠ Spoiler

I would like to share this because this scene is very important. Every human being wants true happiness. This is the pride of being happy.

And, I feel very lucky to even have had one of those moments, nonetheless all the ones that I got to have. ‘Long Live’ is about how I feel reflecting on it. This song for me is like looking at a photo album of all the award shows, and all the stadium shows, and all the hands in the air in the crowd. It’s sort of the first love song that I’ve written to my team.

"Does happiness disappear when you become an adult...?"

But it's okay. Any emotion will surely become a treasure...

Punch successfully fully heals Taylor's heart with Sonic coming inside her mind and saving her from anxiety and joy to make Taylor feels Joy again. Punch and Sonic watch Talor from afar wondering how greatest she will create for the world and herself in the future. "Long Live" is just the start of her new beginning of life.