#did they just do meditation or were they also down dogging it (no pun intended)

[get-back-homeward]

does anyone else wonder whether the beatles did any actual yoga poses in india?

[ask-asexual-crystal-gems]

What's a common thread between ADHD and the asexuality spectrum? The answer might surprise you.

A while back, an ADHD user said in response to my question, “how did mindfulness exercises go?” a single word, “dissociation.”

It was only long after I had replied, that I had to remind myself that people think of dissociation as a scary thing.

I had to remind myself that a psychotherapist I once knew was pretty unorthodox, and gave me perspective on the matter that defused all the mysteriousness and internalized socialized discomfort surrounding it, which is ultimately rooted in both fear of the unknown or unfamiliar, and maybe a little bit of stigma, too.

Naturally, I do not talk about these sorts of things with general people IRL, so newly having a ‘conversation’ online about it did not jostle my awareness of others’ attitudes like it probably should have.

Things like anxiety and ADHD are, let’s say, more “ordinary” neurodivergences. (remember, the word applies to ALL mental illnesses, also, not just traits. Many don't consider most cases of ADHD an 'illness,' nor a lot of presentations of autism)

Those are more "ordinary." They don’t mash that “this is weird” button, so much as simply “this is very unpleasant.”

But dissociation can be the former, and not the latter.

Let me back up and explain that a bit.

People see dissociation as undesirable.

But why is it, you should ask.

Leave aside questions of physical safety. I’m just talking about sitting down somewhere, and there is no risk to you.

In the typical view, it’s not just another operation the brain can do, or an altered mind state, as we discussed it, rather, it is somehow considered a “bad” outcome.

When, ironically, for many forms of mind training, which we’ll put under the umbrella term “meditation” for simplicity’s sake, the end goal is a type of on-command dissociative state.

Whether you are internalizing your attention, externalizing your attention, or just trying to get that danged mind chatter to shut up for once and give you some peace, whichever way you are sliding along that scale, there is always the route open to you to pursue this ultimate peace.

So this person, who was trying out mindfulness?

Think, if you switched all the aircraft cockpit switches to check if everything was lighting up correctly. But instead of being an experienced pilot, you had no idea what would happen once you started testing everything out.

Accidentally withdrawing your physical senses, and seeming to distance your “self” from your body, which experienced practitioners do without batting an eye, (pun intended) would seem like a dysfunction rather than a built-in feature.

Quieting those areas of the brain dedicated to sense perception is quite a lovely experience, when you are educated on it, do it on purpose, and expect it.

Whereas anxiety is almost never a positive experience, unless it’s not really overwhelming or potent, and you’ve 'reframed' it such that it’s exciting, like any other adrenaline junkie bender.

The milder forms of dissociation, termed depersonalization or derealization, that seem to be quite common among asexual people, are also often considered as a negative thing, instead of just the current, value-neutral state of mind, which is trainable.

A much more common and even milder form happens when we sink into routine. Ever had a stretch of weeks on a job where you look back and you feel like you were sort of “automated”? Like you weren’t really present? You’re somehow a little surprised that that much time has passed?

That “time dilation,” accompanied also sometimes by a distorted sense of chronological sequence happens a lot with ADHD people, regardless of circumstances, but most everyone in the populace has experienced it at some point, barring perhaps the super privileged who have never been forced into a literally “mind numbing” job.

Maybe you’ve also experienced the sensation where you get into a car, perhaps when you’re on a familiar route you’ve driven a thousand times, or especially on long road trips, and you seem to zone out and lose time.

The brain is pretty good at conserving energy.

This is what she tells her patients, to calm their sympathetic nervous system. It circumvents that distress, that health-sapping stress response to this ultimately harmless “weird” experience, vastly improving their quality of life:

Dissociation is a continuum- many forms of it are common. Not some super strange thing corralled in a small corner of the sum total of human experience.

“Reframing” these things is essential to attaining incrementally improved mental health.

Clearing away all the internalized judgement, the feelings of wrongness, etc.

Just one more step out of the norm.

Just another neurodivergence.

It is conceptualized as unnerving when it happens suddenly and sharply, though, because it is so different from “ordinary” everyday experience.

The same way one person who hasn’t been around dogs much might react to a large dog barking with fear, and another person standing next to them having the exact same experience, trained and knowledgeable in recognizing true aggression versus excitement or mild warning, would not feel threatened.

Yes, having that particular toggle out of your grasp may be annoying and to those not given this perspective, frightening. (And if other personalities are involved, that gets much more complicated!!) But, consider. One of my mentors said calmly once, that she lost time for, say, 10 or 15 minutes while sitting down quite regularly, and felt very recharged and energized afterwards. It’s not exactly like sleep, because there’s not that head nodding and relaxation of muscles. Almost instantly gone, and instantly aware again, not that feathery transition as happens when drowsing or gradually falling asleep.

I hypothesize to her that this had probably started up because she’s involuntarily dropping into a deep delta or theta brainwave state for a bit, because that’s what she does in ‘brain entrainment’ recordings. (The frequencies are very good for relaxation when you're anxious and have a hard time unwinding yourself, others are good for focus during studying, and are therefore used by ADHD people) Unless she wants to pay some big lab to measure her neuron firing frequency though, there’s no way to tell for sure. The point is, that she directly benefits from this ‘taking a break’ from thinking. She is not bothered in the least by her mind occasionally saying, ‘you know what, I’m overwhelmed right now, gonna switch off for a bit.’ When someone gives their mind this permission to pause from its worries and senses, each the internal and external input, sometimes this is the outcome. It is not a problem to her whatsoever that this toggle occasionally moves of its own accord.

People are afraid of what they don’t understand.

But she understands it.

People are afraid of new experiences.

But to her, it’s old hat. On an MRI, each of the parts of the brain dedicated to the senses dim. Occipital lobe for sight, temporal lobe for hearing, etc.

If I were brushed up on the neuroanatomy of this process better, I could also name the parts dedicated to internal imput that would grow dimmer as she entered that state. Heck, they study this stuff so much, when interviewing meditation practitioners and testing for stuff like blood flow changes as their attention shifts, those images probably already exist.

Dissociation is not a mysterious thing.

It serves a purpose.

It’s your brain’s ‘energy saver’ mode.

Or in some cases, ‘recharge.’

So, to the person who argued that ADHD people should be cautious about using mindfulness? I must ask again, why?

Why would you forgo the benefits? Why would they tell others to do so??

Usually the main reasons dissociation causes problems, that aforementioned therapist says, is that people are overloaded to the point where it happens not when they’re relaxed, and can daydream or drift, but randomly when there’s too much pressure in their lives.

The fear response to it is just like any other overactive fear response or phobia- with time and therapeutic work, they are all resolvable.

/////////

#this post is NOT about dissociative identity disorder #only mentioned it in passing to separate it from the discussion

[adscititious-cacoethes]

Petrichor (12/12)

Pairing: Trevor C./Reader; other background/hinted relationships Chapter: 12 of 12 Warnings: Swearing, danger, violence, death (SPOILER: not major character or RT employee), also happiness and fluff and all that good stuff, vampires and werewolves and things that go bump in the night (PG-13) Word Counts: Chapter: 4,340 Total: 43,539 A/N: Here it is! Final chapter! Part of this is kind of dark, lots of climatic stuff, so if you’re worried please send me a note and I can explain what happens. If there’s something else you think I need to tag that I forgot, also please let me know! Thanks everyone for reading and sticking around for the ride, I really have grown attached to and love this world - please let me know if you want to see more of it! (even if reader is a different character). Also! I am going to be posting this on ao3 momentarily, once I fix a couple of typos and mistakes that I’ve caught since posting them on tumblr. So those of you who read fic on both tumblr and ao3, don’t fret! I promise it really is me and not someone stealing my work. I added a pseud to my account for specifically reader insert work, which is TurtleAds.  I take prompts now! (see here for details).  Reminder that this has a bunch of supernatural-y stuff, and also that this would not have seen the light of day (pun intended), if it weren’t for @chefgeofframsay.  P.S. - Feedback would be cool P. P. S. - sorry if any chapters end kind of weird, this was written as one long thing and then I decided to break it up.  Previous

It had been nearly a week since Blaine and Mica had been brought into “quarantine” at the penthouse with you, and you could tell they were both getting antsy. You had more than enough interaction with people every day to keep you satisfied, and plenty of books to keep your mind occupied, and, about once a day, you would try to meditate to trigger another Prediction, but none had come. However, since Blaine and Mica had (quickly) grown tired of poking fun at you (aka trying to get you and Trevor together) due to the only reaction out of you being eye rolls and glares and Trevor not even seeming to notice at all, they had begun to get on edge. And with Novus having seemingly gone off the grid, there was no immediate end in sight.

“Can’t I just go visit my dad in Egypt until this blows over?” Mica had nearly whined at breakfast that morning.

“But then you’d be leaving me here!” Blaine argued. You just shook your head and shared a look with Jeremy, who kept scratching his nose and had decided to continue reading Wolves! Were?: A New Wolf’s Guide to His Inner Beast that day.

“I can take you with me, Gibson, but you probably wouldn’t like the heat.”

“Anything to get me out of this damn penthouse!”

“What are you dicks damning my penthouse for?” Geoff’s raspy voice made everyone except for Jeremy jump (the werewolf, of course, smelling the warlock the moment he walked in the room).

“I’m sorry for my friends, Geoff.” You told him at the same time Mica declared, “We’re getting stir crazy in this place!”

“Well, tough luck, unless you can teleport there, which I doubt either of you can do. Even though Novus is after [Y/N], we have no idea what exactly he can do, and since some fae can possess people, I don’t want to take any chances.” Geoff stated as he poured himself some coffee, resulting in annoyed grumbling noises from your best friends.

Jeremy scratched his nose again, “What should I do, Geoff?” he inquired, looking up from his book at the warlock.

“If we don’t resolve this tonight, we may have to stick you in the basement this time. Sorry, buddy.” Geoff said with a sympathetic smile. Jeremy frowned and his shoulders slumped, but he nodded regardless.

“Wait, what? What’s going on?” Blaine asked, gaze bouncing between the two men. You reached out and softly cuffed him upside the head.

“Ow!” He exclaimed, hand flying to the back of his head, “What was that for?”

“The full moon’s tomorrow night, idiot.” You admonished him with a shake of your head, watching as understanding dawned in his eyes.

“It’s alright, [Y/N].” Jeremy reassured you, shifting in his seat a little.

Mica and Blaine weren’t the only ones getting restless, just for a different reason.  

So, naturally, you spent the majority of the day hiding, reading to Gus and avoiding your friends because while you knew they didn’t blame you, you certainly felt shitty and responsible for their misery. And, on top of that, Jeremy would probably have to spend about twenty-four hours in a basement instead of running around doing wolfy things, and that made it even worse, because you were now a hassle to the people trying to protect you, too.

The only solace for the day, really, was a cheerful-as-ever Trevor (heh. That rhymed), who had brought dinner to you without you even asking. The two of you ate in silence, you on the bed and him at the desk, and then Trevor was scooping up your plate and waltzing out the door with a sing-song “Be right back!”

You went into the bathroom and washed your hands, humming something sort of tuneless as you dried your hands with a towel and walked back into the bedroom.

“You know, you’re almost more trouble than your worth.” A thin voice sneered, and you whipped your head up to see a fae that you knew could only be Novus, with pointed teeth and only one and a half wings sitting on your bed, rolling the hilt of a dagger between his hands. His friend, the Unseelie from the alley, was leaning up against the door, sneering at you with pointed teeth and a predatory look in his eyes. Your heart pounded in your chest and all the wind felt like it had been sucked out of you, all at once.

This can’t be real. This can’t be happening. Your panicked mind tried to deny it, but you also knew there was no denying the fact that somehow, the fae in front of you had teleported (presumably) into Geoff’s penthouse.

Geoff’s. Fuck. You had been spending your time – all of you had been spending your time – assuming that Geoff’s penthouse, which was essentially his fortress, was impenetrable, and yet you were staring at proof otherwise.

Wait. The rational side of your brain caught up with you, Trevor said he’d be right back. All you have to do is stall.

“You know, your big friend over here said that to me the first time, and if I remember correctly, that ended up with him getting shot.” You finally retorted, sounding much calmer than you felt. You stood up a little straighter, letting your feet lift off the ground slightly.

Big Sharp Teeth growled at you and lunged forward, and you instinctively hurled up a barrier, your energy pooling in your hands and being thrown into the air in front of you before you could think about the consequences. He didn’t reach your barrier, however, because Novus stopped him with a hand on his chest before he could get that far.

“Now, now, Aven, calm down.” Novus tutted, seemingly unperturbed by the defenses you had just constructed, and you realized belatedly that if he was a teleporter like Big Sharp Teeth (Aven), he could easily bypass it entirely. You dropped the barrier and crossed your arms over your chest.

“Do you want to know why you’re more trouble than your worth? All I wanted to do was kill Robin [Y/L/N]’s precious daughter, his only child, so he could begin the pain I’ve felt, the pain he solidified by ensuring that I was imprisoned. I was on top of the world, and had lost everything! And he had no pity for me, because I found a better, more rewarding lifestyle in rejecting the Seelie Court. It was going to be simple: Aven and his friend would capture you, and bring you to me, and then I was going to drop your dead body on your father’s doorstep for him to discover when he got back from vacation. But nooooo, you had to go and happen to run into some of Ramsey’s pets, and the bloodsuckers helped you get away. Fine. So then I was going to use my special talents and possess one of your friends to get around Ramsey’s guard dogs, but then the stupid goddess’s security system detected Aven’s entry. So I had to resort to this. Do you know how long it took to find someone who we could fly in at a moment’s notice, who could send us through Geoff fucking Ramsey’s barriers!” Novus was seething, hissing and spitting as he shouted at you, and you were paralyzed, terrified that if you so much as flinched he would be throwing that iron dagger straight into your chest.

But Novus’ ranting, raving speech also reminded you that they were in Geoff’s house, and Geoff always knew when people entered and exited his home, and if Geoff knew, then everyone knew, unless whoever they had found to get them through Geoff’s protective spells and barriers could also mask their existence from the warlock entirely. It was highly improbable, considering Geoff’s apparent magical strength, but not impossible.

“Sorry not sorry?” You offered, frowning a bit at the fact that Novus just cackled, the sound dark and thick and menacing, washing over you like tar and sticking to your bones.

Underneath his maniacal laughter, you hear shouting from down the hall, and then a thud against your door the force of it pitched Aven forward and bent the door. Novus immediately sobered up, and in the blink of an eye, he was in front of you, pushing you against the wall, one arm across your chest to pin you there and the iron dagger resting against your neck. You immediately started to feel it burning your skin, and you did your best to pull your head away, but there was nowhere for you to go with the wall at your back.

“What did you do? How did you alert them so fast?” Novus spit in your face, eyes wild.

Thud.

“Boss! What do I do?”

“Just hold the door, dipshit.”

Novus pushed the knife into your skin, just a little bit, and just underneath his chin, you could see Aven’s magical energy flaring to life, most likely trying to reinforce the door.

Thud. Creak.

You felt blood welling up against the dagger, the blade searing hot against your skin, and the burning smell started to waft into your nose.

“Better do this quick, then.” Novus sneered, eyes glinting with hunger and malice.

Smash!

The door shattered, and Novus’s head blocked your view, but the thud that immediately followed was probably Aven.

“[Y/N]!” It was Trevor, thank fuck it was Trevor, of course it was Trevor, and you watched Novus’s eyes go wide and nearly bug out of his head as he was quite literally ripped away from you. You covered your injured neck (why was it always your neck?) with your hand and slid down the wall, landing on your ass and looking up to see Trevor, eyes a dark red and fangs glinting, scrape his teeth against Novus’s neck while his hands wrapped around the Unseelie’s forearms with a crushing strength, the knife dropping out of his fingers. Behind him, a hulking demon stood, shoulders hunched and horns scraping across the ceiling, one clawed foot holding down and crushing the wings of an unmoving Aven.

Novus shrieked and thrashed, but Trevor was stronger, and you heard the sickening crunch of his bones cracking in the vampire’s grip.

“Now, now, none of that, stop your screaming, you kretin.” You heard Gavin say, and while you felt a little bit of the pull of the siren’s call, it wasn’t aimed at you. Novus immediately fell silent, whipping his head around to look at Gavin. You turned, too, craning your neck around your dresser to see the doorway, where Gavin stood, fist clenched and chest heaving. You could hear the footsteps and shouts of the others getting closer. Gavin didn’t move from the doorway until Geoff laid a hand on his shoulder, and even then he only stepped aside, not breaking eye contact to let a furious-looking Geoff and a stone-faced Lindsay through.

It was then that you finally registered the slick blood slowly leaking through your fingers, and even then, it was only because Mica had appeared in the doorway and was staring at you, horrified.

Geoff bent down and picked up the dagger. You could tell that he was holding his tongue, you could tell he wanted to scream and curse and flay the bastard that Trevor was holding alive with that knife. But instead, he held the dagger in an open palm, and turned to Lindsay.

She stared at Novus, “Your time has come.” She said, but her voice was not her own, booming and it seemed like it echoed tenfold, and you swore you could see an outline of a bird’s wings spreading out from her back. Geoff nodded, and a deep purple glow surrounded the dagger, before it thrusted itself (well, Geoff did it, but magically, not physically) deep into the Unseelie’s chest, right through the heart. Novus gurgled blue blood and dropped to the ground as Trevor let go of him, the demon slowly turning back into Michael in the background, Gavin closing his eyes and giving his head a firm shake. Trevor immediately turned towards you, falling to his knees in front of you and cradling your face in his hands.

“Are you okay?” He asked, earnestly, and his eyes were their normal, soft, earthy brown as they scanned your face, fangs retracting as his lips dropped into a concerned frown.

You nodded as best you could with your face in his hands, before a dark hand was on Trevor’s shoulder, pulling him back and kneeling beside you. Trevor made a move to protest but Mica just glared at him before blocking your line of sight to him with your head.

“Need you to move your hand so I can work my magic, girl.” She murmured, voice soft and soothing, and you let your bloody hand fall into your lap. Her own fingertips immediately pressed against where the dagger bit your flesh, and you could feel her warm, healing magic at work. Mica’s eyes slid shut and she muttered under her breath in a language you couldn’t comprehend (ancient Egyptian, probably), and after a few long moments, her eyes flickered open and she dropped her hands.

“You’ll probably still have a little scar, since it’s iron that did it, but you’re good now, [Y/N].” She stood and moved to offer you a hand up, but Trevor was faster.

The vampire darted forward and scooped you up into his arms, pulling you to his chest and burying his face in your hair. You could feel his lips moving, but it took you a moment to figure out what he was saying, but the muffled “I’m sorry, I’m sorry” was unmistakable once you’d deciphered it, and you wrapped your own arms around his midsection. You could hear the others chattering in the background; Michael and Jeremy hauling bodies out the door; Geoff was on the phone with someone. But that didn’t matter. All that mattered was Trevor, right then, right there. Trevor who was the first one in the room. Trevor who pulled Novus off you. Trevor who came to your rescue when you were too scared to do anything but hope help would come and try to buy yourself time. Trevor who was holding you like you were his lifeline. Trevor whose tears were falling into your hair.

You would later find out that whoever it was that had helped Novus and Aven get in had put a “blinder,” of sorts, on Geoff’s alarm, which would delay, temporarily, the activation of the charm that told him when people entered and exited the penthouse. Trevor would tell you that he had heard Novus speaking when he went to open your door, so he shouted for help and rammed his shoulder against it when the knob wouldn’t turn. Michael would tell you that he had heard Trevor from inside his room three doors down and, upon rushing into the hallway and seeing Trevor slamming his body into the door, immediately pulled the emergency alarm and shifted into his demon form, shoving Trevor out of the way to break the door down. Jeremy would tell you that he could smell Trevor’s rage and fear from down the hall, so strong, and he was unprepared enough that it made him stagger back and he would’ve fallen over if it wasn’t for Ryan stepping up behind him and catching him around the waist.

All of that was later, though. Right then, in that moment, Trevor was crying, so you pulled away a little to look up at him, reached up to wipe away a stray tear. One of his hands immediately slid to cup your face again, and when he gently rubbed his thumb across your cheek, you realized that you were crying, too.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered again, resting his forehead against yours, gaze drifting across your face, like he was searching for something and you held the answer.

“I’m okay.” You said, smiling a slightly watery smile at him, unsure of what else to say. And you were. You could still feel the phantom burn of Novus’s blade, and your wings ached from being slammed against the wall, but Mica had healed your wound and you had been quick enough to spread your wings open so that they didn’t get crumpled against the wall when Novus pushed you back. And Trevor was there, now, and maybe it was the fact that you liked him more than you had liked anyone in the world, ever, but you felt unbelievably safe when being held in his arms.

“Okay.” He breathed, and then you felt him square his shoulders, like he was preparing for something, and then the hand on your chin was tilting your chin up while his head dipped forward and then you were kissing.

Trevor was kissing you.

His lips were soft and his kisses gentle, just barely a brush of skin against skin. You almost couldn’t believe it, you felt like you were floating, but you reminded yourself to kiss back, damnit and then you were actually floating (if Trevor’s hands sliding to your hips and holding you there was any indication). As soon as he felt you respond and your arms reached up and wrapped around the back of his neck the kiss turned deeper, like he was desperate – like you were the air and he needed to breathe, but you were the one that needed air, not him, and you had to reluctantly break away and suck in some air.

The others in the room (because there were others, but you’d forgotten they were there) had politely allowed the two of you to have that moment, but as soon as she saw you pull away, Mica let out a loud wolf-whistle. You blushed and pressed your face into Trevor’s chest, but he just chuckled and smoothed a hand down your hair, whispering promises of safety and protection in your ear.

You stayed in Trevor’s room that night – your first time entering his room, actually, although you’re not sure why that panned out that way – and you barely had the words “Can you stay?” out of your mouth before Trevor was sliding into bed next to you, pulling you against his chest and pressing a kiss to your forehead with a mumbled “Of course.”

The next morning, your stomach churning at the thought of entering “your” room in the penthouse ever again, you timidly asked Geoff if it was possible to make the room just…go away. Geoff smiled a kind, sleepy smile, and Michael and Gavin graciously offered to take Gus and all of your stuff out of your room and deposit it in Trevor’s for you (Lindsay offered to supervise). After breakfast, you and Trevor and Geoff drove to the airport in a large passenger van, with the intent of picking up Jack, Ashley, and your parents. Although you knew it was over and everyone was fine, you still couldn’t stop yourself from pacing, shifting from foot to foot, regardless of how many times Geoff told you to cool it.

Trevor, eventually, took matters into his own hands (literally), pulling you into his side and wrapping an arm around your waist. When you looked up to question him, he just took the opportunity to lean down and press a kiss to your forehead. Geoff was noticeably less annoyed after that, but you could tell that he was trying (and failing) to subtly take pictures of the two of you.

The reunion with your parents and Ashley felt like something out of a movie. You saw them before they saw you, so you called their names and waved your hand in the air. Trevor let go of you and took a step backwards seconds before your father scooped you up into a hug, tears in his eyes as he spun you around. When he finally set you back on the ground, you saw your mom and Ashley standing there, waiting, the former with teary eyes and both with knowing smirks on their faces. You took turns hugging them both, your mom whispering to you about how proud of you she was and how brave you were.

You sheepishly introduced your parents to Trevor, who seemed pretty relaxed about it until your mother denied the offer of his hand in favor of a hug. His eyes went wide and he stared at you in fear over top of your mom’s head, which caused you and Ashley to dissolve into tittering giggles.

A few minutes later, Jack and a blonde woman you didn’t recognize – but you assumed was the warlock friend of Geoff’s – joined the group, having apparently elected to get the checked baggage before meeting up with you. You were too busy trying to tell your dad that you and Trevor were dating without being too obvious or giving him room to make a scene about it to notice the fact that Geoff nearly cried when he saw her, but you made a mental note to ask Trevor about it later when Geoff let Jack drive in favor of holding her hand in the backseat.

You smiled up at Trevor, who leaned down and kissed your nose, and nothing had felt more right in your life.

A week later, after your parents had gone home and Books and More Books had resumed business, you and Trevor were sitting on your bed (in your apartment – you didn’t want to give it up just yet in fear of making it seem like things were going “too fast,” even though the Mark on your shoulder told you that at the very least, the two of you would be “together” for a long time), in a familiar pose. The TV was on and the two of you were just talking about nothing, only instead of sitting side-by-side, you were curled up in his lap, your head on his chest, one of his arms around your waist and the other idly playing with your wings.

“Hey Trevor?” You started, lifting your head a little to look up at him (even though from your angle, you couldn’t see much more than his stubbly chin).

“Hmm?”

“Want to know a secret?” You asked, and Trevor pulled you away from his chest a bit so he could look you in the eye.

“Of course, I’m always down for secrets, especially when it’s you.” He said, a fond smile on his face. He punctuated ‘you’ with a long, cool finger reaching up to gently boop you on the nose.

You nodded, and took a deep breath, and then you willed your illusion away. Trevor’s eyes went wide, and you could see the faint glow you knew you were giving off reflected in them.

“You’re beautiful.” He breathed as he reached out to touch you, then hesitated, hand hanging in mid-air, and looked to your face, asking a silent question and searching for the answer. You nodded, smiling a little, and Trevor’s fingers were immediately tracing the vines on your skin (you were suddenly very happy that you had decided to wear a tank-top today). You let him explore for a moment in silence, until his fingers gravitated towards the large, fat leaf on your shoulder and sort of stayed there, tracing around the edges.

“That’s the secret,” You said, finally, reaching up to still his fingers, pressing his palm down until it perfectly covered the Mark, “that’s you.”

You smiled up at Trevor, and he gaped at you, gently lifting his hand so he could peer at the Mark underneath.

“That’s me?” He asked, voice filled with joy and wonder, and you giggled a little bit when you nodded.

“Marks appear and grow and stuff when important things and people happen in our lives. That one’s you.” You explained, and Trevor sort-of nodded absent-mindedly.

“But – not to like, not believe you, because I do, but I’m curious – how do you know?”

You wrinkled your nose up, trying to determine the best way to phrase it, “Besides it showing up after I met and got to know you, and besides the fact that “shoulder-touching” is your favorite form of non-PDA reassuring contact, I just kind of…do? Once you see it, on your body, you just know.”

Trevor nodded, his thumb tracing the leaf – his leaf – one more time before he cupped your jaw with his hands and pulled you into a soft, loving kiss. You melted against him when he pulled away, and the two of you stayed there like that, you not bothering to cover your Marks again once assured by Trevor that no, the glowy-ness did not mess up his sightline to the TV.

“Hey [Y/N], do you want to know a secret?” Trevor asked a couple hours later, when your eyelids were starting to droop with sleep.

“Mmhmm.”

“Geoff walked up to me this morning and started a conversation just so that he could tell me that when we get married, he wants to transfigure Gus into a person for the wedding. And that Geoff wants to officiate in one of those blue glitter tuxes.” Trevor did a good job of keeping a straight face as he spoke, but as soon as he was finished you both burst out into laughter.

“I can’t believe – Geoff…really?!”

Trevor nodded, “I thought he was – he was joking, but nope! Dead – dead serious!”

Eventually, your laughter subsided, and you rearranged yourselves so that you were laying down, wrapped up in each other’s arms.

You fell asleep quickly, so you didn’t hear Trevor’s whispered “I think I love you” against your hair, but that night you had a dream.

A dream where your vision was misty around the edges, where you stood and watched yourself in a white dress stand across from Trevor, looking dapper in a tailored black tuxedo, auras shining as bright as your grins, while a be-glittered Geoff in a blue suit stood between the two of you, reading from a small leather book.