#didnt even see much of the maximals

[aspiring-prototype]

finally watched rotb.

[centrally-unplanned]

What do you think changed that useful protest seems so much harder these days? Like it seems like older protests were frequently more disciplined and less counterproductive -- is that a real change and if so what happened? Something about the internet, or the general decline of the many in-person organizations that used to exist? I feel like there's something to be explained here.

Am on mobile so ill be brief on a super-complex topic - I have discussed this before so you can search the blog if you wish - but while the internet is the deeper cause it is tied up in growing partisan political dynamics. Protests can ofc be "step one for a revolution" which is its own thing (and no US protests are that), but otherwise they have a model of salience-raising; making political elites take notice of an issue. But all issues today are in a way maximally salient all the time - everyone has a take, an opinion, and those opinions are party-aligned. "Everyone knows" the LA protests are a bunch of Dems, doing Dem stuff. No Republican will care - and vice versa ofc. Protests in the past had an audience that could truly be persuaded to care - that can happen still but it's much more fickle.

There are also changes in the "supply side", if you will. People used to belong to much more structured, heirarchical orgs, and those orgs could "mobilize" for protest. But they could also be accountable, be a seat at the table. The classic is ofc the church orgs of the civil rights movement - they drove out supporters and also could meet with President Kennedy or whoever and strike a deal. That isn't how protests work today, they are incredibly bottom-up and vibe-based. Hell, when they have leaders, they are often openly at-odds with their "followers", talking to them is a net negative. See the Women's March; still one of the biggest protests ever, representing the entire Dem establishment, but "led" by a very fringe, far-left org structure that the median attendee literally didnt even know existed. With no structure, there is no stakeholder, no bargains, etc, so no reason to listen. (If the US cut arms sales to Israel by 50% in 2024, would protests calm down? Of course not.)

To be clear, protests can still do things, protests aren't all one thing, all the above is marginal, etc. Just explaining the relative shift.

[lexiene]

═ 𝕆𝕦𝕣 ℂ𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 ° . •° .

W/r: fluff, pregnancy, mentions of body changes insecurities, Megumi's paternal instinct, clingy Gumi, baby talk, mentions of de*th word, but overall more smooch of fluff FLUFFINESS

S/m: in which your husband aka your lovely Megumi had this clingy type to your rounded belly that he couldn't stop rubbing and showered with kisses as well the baby they love to hear their daddy's voice and they were kicking lovingly.

A/n: my first full fic after a year not publishing and became hiatus so here it is hope ya like it! (σ ´-ω-`)σ

edited: instead of waiting the right time to post.. I written this as tribute to Megumi's bday since I had been waiting for this for long months to do so here's the first ever fic of mine I didnt put my dividers yet bc s there's a sudden doubt of me again so need to review it again so yea...hope yall like it (•́ω•̀) also @greycaelum this for you in advance bday with fluffiness of baby fever 😖💜

W/c: ( 1.1k )

Finally, a long day you have been waiting for your day to rest due to your extreme shifting of pregnancy hormones. They're really extremely kicking in and that makes you shift moods at times.

Day and night kept you busy eating, watching, playing with your husband's Divine Dogs, and even morning to evening sickness.

Your OB-GYN told you that you were expecting a baby boy during your second ultrasound she also told you that she had also experienced lots and lots of morning sickness during her firstborn and thought she was gonna die but she reassured you that it is completely normal and your health stability maximizes the baby's growth in your tummy which was your relief.

The mood swing changing can be challenging too, since this is both you and Megumi's first child, a first miracle, and blessed by the Gods, can lead you to a roller coaster mood swings. Which is the sign of healthy and normal for the baby.

You'll tell Megumi the gender of the baby tomorrow since you don't wanna miss this father and 'son' moments on how precious it is.

Your husband's head is currently pressed in your growing belly for an hour now not releasing you from his embrace, since he told you in the morning he's on off duty today and gladly for that to not get too much overload of work which was his adoptive dork adoptive father bragging about the situation at the Jujutsu Tech nonstop.

You maybe knew that he have already prepared for this day to come, at last it came true. You also thought about for a quite some time now that he is finding your pregnant belly a comfort and reliever to his mind which made your heart swell and happy even though with pinch of insecurities from month changing leading you in teary state. Are you still beautiful? And getting uglier?

"You're crying again Y/n, what are you thinking?" you slightly flinch from his voice and snapped out from your thoughts again when Megumi breaks the silence you giving him.

Megumi always noted that everytime you spaced out with your thoughts that clouding your mind, he always knew where to cut off the silence and help you at ease by hugging then slowly rocking you and kisses your temple as you release all your tears out while holding him even your belly is occupying half of the embrace.

"It's nothing, Gumi," you sniffed "My hormones are kicking again and got me into tears, don't worry I'm okay." You smile and caressing his unruly hair signifying your love to his hair all the times a reminder of his style and comforting sight.

"You look adorable while talking to our baby~," you teased him in order to ease a bit his worries to you and the baby.

"No I'm not, I'm just...fine you got me," you laughed heartedly and vibrates your belly giving a slight shake to Megumi's face and he smiled seeing you happy again. He is happy too.

"Who knew the strongest shikigami user can be this affectionate?" you teased him again earning a groan from him as his face glow with red. You really love teasing yet of course with love out of it.

"You're dork you know that?" he now is the one teasing you back he do starting to learn something from you he also might got it from his friends but overall he learned it from you.

"Hey! At least I'm cute though!" you pouted and try to make him let go as if your telling him 'you making me angy at you' but he didn't.

Megumi shook his head when his wife starting to display her signature pouting again. He is always prepared again.

"Do you want some chocolate crepe with strawberry and sprinkles on top?" you gasped and your eyes shines in glee and small drool began to form, Megumi got the hint.

Your hungry now. Time to get ready.

You nodded fast like a puppy who wags in excitement and ready to be fed "Add some extra syrup too, Gumi!" you added but your husband shook his head in no.

"Did I told you not to add too much extras? The baby might adopt your sweet tooth and I don't want to have 'second' to handle the sweetness obsession." he's referring Gojo Satoru. Oh boy.

"You mean our baby, Gumi~ and why are you getting annoyed when our baby is not even born yet," you rub your belly telling your unborn baby to them or rather baby boy, him 'don't listen to your papa you'll be healthy once you're born' .

"And are your referring Gojo-san again?" shoot she got him.

"Oh Gumi, don't be!" she motions him sit down with her again and wrapped her arms around his neck since he stood up and he was already preparing your crepe "You know our baby will be more healthier if you feed me food with love and give me massage when your not occupied with work, you don't have to worry everything just always remember I'm doing great and this little angel," you point your tummy "Is happily kicking since morning, telling me that their Daddy is amazing and working hard to give me and mommy lots of love!" imitating baby voices making your husband hide his face into your neck in affection and get flustered.

"You might wanna put your hands now because they're kicking already as we speak," you grab his hand and place where the baby's kicking, and there. He felt it again.

The sensation of his child, the nudge gives him the brightening spark and different feeling of love when his hand place on it.

"See? They love their papa so much!" you giggled and kiss your husband's hair since he was He was still hiding his face into your neck and his hand on top your tummy and yours is placed on top of his.

He then leaned down and talk to his baby. "Hey there little angel," he whispered saying his favorite baby names to your baby "I guess your dad here being..overprotective again and I'm sorry, he was just following the doctor's instructions to keep your mom healthy and stable," rubbing your belly with his thumb "From now on I'll follow your request but still there are still limits and need to be follow, is that okay?"

Baby nudge into his hand in agreement saying 'it's a deal daddy!' and Megumi chuckled rubbing it again where the kick came.

"Great, I'm going to make your mom's request now, love you" he whispers and kisses your tummy. You swear your heart is going to explode from his paternal heart growing even more.

You're more happier than ever to be with him.

© Do not repost, refrain modifying any Lexiene works to any other soical media/platforms.

[shadowscommand]

hiii👋👋👋 can i ask how u view the dynamics in the spetsnaz group? if its not too much just how everyone views each other:) im curious w the random implications of bale n rodion hooking up

ohhh i love thinking about the spetsnaz dynamics. Maybe too much. Im writing this in google docs like its a dissertation. BUT theres like 5 ways to think about this either with my brain or with my dick im going to use my brain first. AKA from a minimalshipping pov:

this is something ive said a bunch of times but i rly do think they get along very well. EVEN nikto-minotaur which is strained bc there is a clash of personalities. I wont get into like introvert vs extrovert nikto bc nikto is a special case every interaction with him is like on a day by day basis affected by his mood and just how hes feeling about someone/social interaction in general that week. his competitive nature + his toxic masculinity which was made worse by his torture especially makes minotaur like a target for him a little bit (as ive said in this post). minotaur rly is like a mirror that can make nikto really uncomfortable. And nikto makes Minotaur uncomfortable (as said here) bc he really understands nikto is struggling and he sees it but its a lot to put on someone. + just the chaotic and unpredictable nature of it is lowkey scary to maxim. i think overall their relationship is strained, not close, but also not actively hostile. Minotaur strikes me as someone who is very compassionate and emotionally pretty competent (not perfect but better than nikto for sure) who does his best to stay out of niktos way. They could easily commiserate about suffering from alcoholism but it would be the most base level acknowledgement of them both facing similar issues with drinking to cope with sadness (i imagine that while minotaur never pries in nikto harming himself he would speak up about nikto drinking. He knows what a slippery slope relapse can be (pragmatic as well bc a pissed off drunk nikto would not be any fun.)).

Rodion would fucking love minotaur though.. Hes fun and hes got a LOT of stories hes got cute kids hes very openmindedd he really does NOT judge (is nikto jealous? yes) is bale jealous? Yknow it does sort of suck to see your twin be the blossoming flower everyone flocks to. And this would be something hes felt since they were young (shameless plug) buuuttt. Bale has a presence in spetsnaz hes got a story to him and people Do really like him. So as an adult bale is very confident in his job and who he is so while theres some underlying tension there, overall the jealousy is very minimal. Also. Obviously. Theyve had some drama.

Minotaur (obviously, as he feels responsible) Really took it hard that bale “died.” i always wonder how this occurred to him. Like if he feels guilty bc it was his idea to join the military, or if it was some miscommunication during the mission which got bale hurt, Or the most dramatic and rly my favorite option: that it was some friendly fire that got bale downed. And when did he leave? Was he told bale wasnt moving and had died and he ran? Did they have to leave bale and the strain of that made him run? He didnt know bale was alive for 10 years he hid from his family for 10 years. That is some extreme trauma to go through and then find out the thing you were beating yourself up over wasnt even true. And bale has spent the past 10 years regaining his ability to walk + existing outside of what gives him the most confidence. All with his brother missing ! im sure theres some mannerisms and thought processes that they didnt see in the other before that they see now. But theyre twins. Twins r weird and insanely close. Their relationship is maturing into a beautifuw brotherhood.

And speaking of brotherhood. bale and nikto have a lot of respect for each other: theyve both been thru periods of recovery for massive injuries, theyre very skilled, & neither one of them are big on talking. I feel like they probably had a very short adjustment period of working with each other bc they just sort of clicked. Bale is like not scared of nikto at all (BUT HE IS AWARE HE CAN BE A DANGER). he can read his warning signs, he doesn't get in his way arbitrarily, and they have rly similar senses of humor. I think it helps as well that nikto doesnt see him as a threat bc while i do figure bale is more of the leader of spets on paper in the field, hes not like diehard intense about it he listens to ideas hes flexible uhh and he trusts niktos judgement. Any of nikto’s Weird Shit is just Nikto’s shit and bale doesnt gaf and nikto likes that. I DO ALSO THINK.. Bale knows the most about nikto’s past like hes been told things by kamarov that are important to know. And nikto likes that he never holds any of that against him and doesnt try to spread it. Hes a very respectful man so nikto respects him.

And it is a bit of like.. Like nikto isnt going to respect minotaur bc even tho hes a very large, skilled, grown man hes also not like hypermacho which nikto would just see as weakness. Whereas bale is very much A Guy like hes just a dude. AND RODION.. Rodion is a babbyy bro thats a baby on the field.. None of them Are babying him (well. Minotaur might a little bit. Hes lowkey motherly imo) but they are all very aware hes like. New to this more serious side of combat. And hes the medic ! he has field medic training ! that shit is stressful ! but he handles it and hes very excited for everything and driven. they literally would all love rodion.. Truly the sunshine of the group. Him and minotaur would click like nikto and bale click. they would hype each other up soo much they would have so much fun. AND BALE ?? rodion would be so excited to be working with bale. When he meets bale and bale is genuinely a cool guy, Actually straight up a cool guy, he would become even more enamored with him. Star struck for a long time before they become real friends where rodion doesnt put him on a pedestal.

And of course……. Nikto to rodion.. Like minotaur, rodion would initially be scared of nikto. Rodion really isnt small hes like 5’10 decently muscled but nikto is like fucking huge.. And he just Looks mean and he Would look meanly at rodion at the start like rodion is hyper. He talks a lot. Their first meeting (esp w how he would instantly get along super well with minotaur) nikto just thinks of him as a smaller, younger minotaur he would not be interested. AND hes a baby nikto doesnt want to be a fucking babysitter.. But rodion is very smart and much more laid back than he lets on he can really calm himself down to match nikto’s level. Little bit of a social chameleon bc hes a very charming guy. Rodion like. He Likes to be Liked. Its important to him to be fun and likeable. So he will act accordingly around nikto he’ll quickly learn his body language and how to read his expressions. I think even if they didnt fuck rodion would earn nikto’s respect and he would stop being scared of him relatively quickly.

But yknow. I want them to fuck. So. Uh rodion changing his energy level to match nikto would sort of like signal to nikto that he can hit. Genuinely that’s the entire crux of what gets them started. Rodion is smaller than him, more submissive socially than him, cute, womanly (in the eyes of a misogynist); nikto wants to fuck him. Its like dudes who think cashiers are hitting on them bc they smiled at him. Hes LUCKY that he also happens to be rodions type. Rodion likes a challenge and nikto is a CHALLENGGEEE. Nikto is so resistant and rodion is so hardheaded its the perfect recipe for a tumultuous relationship which makes it so rewarding for rodion to rein it in.

U might think like. Well. he likes bale. Bale is normal. It would be easier to fuck and try to date bale and it would but again rodion likes a challenge. Bale is just like.. Too casual about it all. + the element of hero worship i think changes how rodion feels about it like he just expects a bit of fun out of bale a little extra to their friendship and thats exactly what he gets. And it Is a lot of fun bale’s a good fuck and so is rodion they have good times. It just doesnt have the same fun drama as nikto… But. it would also be easy for them to treat fucking rodion as a competition which i dont think rodion would like bc its a bit disrespectful to him as a person. Like hes not a prize. And he doesn’t think of them as the same. I need 2 explore this in a fic its why i want to write some bale/rodion/nikto.

And minotaur, in the middle of all of this, is just worried for rodion overall. I Do Think he would be surprised bale gets involved at all bc its a very rocky situation between nr and it seems like more drama than bale would enjoy. But it is a little bit of bale’s own sense of dominance peeking thru like he just cant help it its a dude thing an alpha dog thing.. That minotaur just doesnt get into bc he has confidence in himself. And its kind of scary to minotaur that rodion gets in the middle of it. Its kind of scary to him that if nikto has a meltdown of some sort rodion will probably be the closest to him physically and could easily take the brunt of an attack that he rly wouldnt be ready for. Nikto genuinely trying to hurt rodion would be really bad. Hes very brutal. And minotaur keeps that in mind. But yknow so does bale he likes to keep an eye on it. Might as well get his dick sucked too. Maybe bent over or bend rodion over at the same time.

And also why i wanted to write more for beg! It kind of got away from me and its a lot to express. As seen in this probably very confusing ummmm 1,800+ word answer to an ask on tumblr dot com. I have a lot of thoughts thank u for asking me about them :)c i hope u were ready for all this + the additional reading. i think as a whole they work together great they all just yknow. Have their ups and downs. They work a lot of shit out together…. And then Nikto goes AWOL. planned or not

[astradyke]

help I am going to see the tour in less than a month and I don’t know enough lore. I’ve been watching as much as possible but who should I follow here any dnp blog recs?

HI ANON! sorry i am replying to you so late it's been a busy week ^_^

ugh i could gush about all my mutuals but i will TRY to keep this contained. also if i didnt mention you but you're awesome please like self promo off this post .

@thisdayindnphistory <- archive feature will be super helpful! Literally THE place to catch up on lore/important dates, even scrolling through can help you paint a better picture of certain years!! love this blog a lot it's a major help in web weaves :P

@purpurussy has successfully found like any post that i need whenever i need it b/c they're a miracle worker but also does like really great analysis posts & has awesome tags on things too

@phantasticphizza and @blossoms-phan CEO of cool mutuals who make me extremely happy when i see them on the dash and also I think both of them are awesome to follow in general so i'm just going to flail at you encouraging u to follow :3

@bitchslapblastoids ALWAYS allowed to cook in the kitchen and has a good handle on lore stuff too i feel like!!! Idk!! Follow!!!!!! My really cool mutual who has really good posts on stuff

@gamora-borealis awesome awesome awesome Follow this account smiles

@dnpbeats knows SO much about dan and phil lore and is like ... Like she has several claims to fame in her bio i feel like that's enough evidence this is THE blog to follow ever

@freckliedan knows SO much all the time makes awesome posts about many such things and just knows a lot!!! Lot of cool stuff on this blog has like helped me find info n stuff so many times. jam is lovely :]

Fuck I got so many more @deadandphilgames @phuckingphan @laprasboat @ingydar-phan @oldphanny @absolutefilthimsosorry @thighguys <- ALL OF THESE FOLKS ARE REALLY COOL AND MAKE REALLY AWESOME POSTS!!! I WOULD YAP ABOUT THEM SEPARATELY BUT THIS IS REALLY LONG im sorry ily!! Their cool posts speak for themselves though thumbs up

Also tentative because I'm bad at tracking mutual main blogs so if we are not properly mutuals i am SO SORRY and will be embarrassed forever but @yonpote @lizardsmp3 extremely EXTREMELY extremely cool blogs. Like very cool. the coolest. Please follow these two blogs i am really major fans<3 and i would argue these r required follows to maximize the phannie experience

I hope this is helpful anon!!!!!! If you ever feel like you need to catch up on a specific lore thing you can always fling that out into tags and people will graciously catch you with their massive knowledge (not me because i kind of don't know anything and rely upon aforementioned mutuals to nicely tell me information and i go okay <3 yay <3) but u are always welcome in the inbox!!!!!! <3

I HOPE U HAVE SO MUCH FUN AT TIT!!!!!!!!!

[feistyanimation]

⚠️Beastwars Spoilers⚠️

Hot Take(?)

(Apologies, it’s long)

I honestly think that BlackArachnia and Tarantulas would have made such a cool couple if they didn’t write them creepy (not talking- fun silly Tarantulas creepy)

Cause I can see Tarantulas being oblivious to Blackarachnia flirting with him because he’s a smart guy but he isn’t smart with social interactions

They could have made a fun; partners in crime dynamic, “we’re gonna destroy Megatron and scheme together” type vibe

They don’t even have to be partners, I would’ve been happy with them just being friends and BlackArachnia could be a single girl boss (cause it makes sense with her Beastmode anyway)

I just feel like Tarantulas would have been a better option than the transphobic hypocrite sexist SilverBolt (if you couldn’t tell I personally don’t like that guy)

Speaking of, SilverBolt’s character would have been so much better if he didn’t like BlackArachnia. If he just treated her like everyone else instead of only sparring her because she’s the only woman he’s ever seen. Cause he doesn’t and it’s just really weird and it also completely 180s BlackArachnia’s character. She goes from just vibing to like “man that wolf bot is pretty hot, right?”. Not only that but she lets that man disrespect her?

‼️Side Rant‼️

I absolutely hate how SilverBolt calls BlackArachnia a maximal despite her telling him not to. She literally says that she rather be called dumb than a maximal. That’s how much she hates it. And SilverBolt’s whole logic is “well you were born a maximal so you are one” but he doesn’t say the same thing for Dinobot (predacon Allied with maximals) or QuickStrike, Inferno, Rampage (he was made by maximals to be an immortal predacon killing machine). He only says it to BlackArachnia. I personally think it’s because he can’t grapple the fact he likes a predacon. He’s a noble type character so it seems like he wouldn’t fall for the enemy?

Not only that but he’s a total hypocrite. He’s also a maximal Protoform. But he brings up how he was a predacon for a little bit every time ‘BlackArachnia being a Predacon’ topic comes up. Saying garbage like “I was a predacon, and you forgave me” LIKE NO YOU WERENT! He said that quote about DINOBOT. THE MECH WHOSE BEEN A PREDACON HIS WHOLE LIFE! Meanwhile SilverBolt was a predacon for less than 6 HOURS (assuming he woke up from stasis at midnight and when he switched it was sunrise) and the whole time he complained about it!

Hate that dog so much omg

What makes it worse is that in Season 3 HE GETS WHAT HE WANTS! BlackArachnia almost dies because he went to intervene after being told not to. The only way to save her was getting rid of the predacon chip WHICH SHE WASNT HAPPY ABOUT! Then she is turned into a maximal and the topic is never brought back up again!

AND THIS WAS LIKE 2 EPISODES AFTER SHE DECIDED SHE DIDNT WANT THE PRED CHIP REMOVED BECAUSE SHE WAS HAPPY WHO SHE WAS!

And I know his whole character is the ‘knight in shiny armor’ and he’s purposely dumb. But you can have a fun dumb character that STILL RESPECTS HIS GOTH GIRLFRIEND

Anyways- I need to calm down lol

What was this about again? Spiders? Cool yeah-

✨Back to Regularly scheduled Rant✨

Like yes, BlackArachnia flirted a lot with Tarantulas (which was also uncomfortable, at least for me) but based off her line near the end of season 1, something like “it could be kind of romantic snuggled up close” (not the exact quote but the jest of it) when talking about getting in an escape pod made from a stasis pod. She probably, MIGHT have at least liked him a little? Cause if she is manipulating him it doesn’t make any sense.

When she first started to flirt with Tarantulas, she never gained anything from it. They literally just got Inferno. She said she wanted to make the Protoform serve her to help overthrow Megatron and that she would ‘make a better ruler’. But in doing so she’s also helping Tarantulas get rid of Megatron. Working together and what not. Tarantulas doesn’t want to lead, that isn’t his goal. When given the option to command the predacons by Terrorsaur (S1 EP6) he just left. He put scorponok in charge and went to see where Terrorsaur got his power from. But also the whole ‘flirting’ or whatever she’s doing doesn’t make Tarantulas like her, so if that’s the goal for her manipulation it doesn’t work. She just convinced this guy to get a stasis pod that he was already going to get

Tarantulas is running his own agenda anyway, he has no interest in whatever the other predacons are doing. He’s just a spy for the Predacon Peace Alliance. I think it would have been so cool if BlackArachnia helped him. They are basically just the same character but BlackArachnia is a girl boss and Tarantulas is a nerd.

They would have made a cool spider duo that just schemes together

Why am I ranting about a show that already ended when it isn’t that big of a deal? Because I’m Obsessed lol

Anyway, that’s just my take/rant. I would love to hear people’s thoughts and opinions on this (if you want to of course)

I hope you have a good day/afternoon/night!!

[chopprface]

giggling to myself knowing ive infected a small amount of the beast wars fandom with my dinocharge (depthcharge/dinobot) brainworms so here we go

depthcharge starting out very skeptical of dinobot’s allegiance to the group even despite the other maximals sharing stories with depthcharge on the rare occasion where he decides to socialize with them.

BIG BIG MASSIVE spoilers for both depthcharge and dinobot's arcs coming up, id advise finishing beast wars before diving into this cause otherwise youre going to be so lost. /srs

they’d avoid eachother at first until theyre completely cut off from the rest of the maximals and are forced to work together, similar to the episode where rampage is introduced and blackarachnia and silverbolt start getting closer (possibly replacing them in that episode?). more arguing and less cooperation with each other, but they come out of it with an odd amount of trust in each other now that they’ve gotten out of a tough scenario together.

with the tension between them cleared for the most part, dinobot gets depth charge to open up about his information on rampage, thinking that getting firsthand experiences from someone who oversaw his containment might help them find a weakness to eliminate a major threat like rampage.

depth charge's initial distrust is replaced by a surprising amount of transparency, possibly because he feels he failed his fellow maximals and can no longer relate to them as he let them down on omicron. something about their similar feelings of lacking belonging among the other maximals (at least initially) draws him to dinobot.

both dinobot and depth charge lie in that odd middle ground where they don't feel like they don't belong with the maximals no matter how much their colleagues insist they do, but fight with them regardless. they have their different reasons for fighting, depth charge wanting to take revenge for omicron by killing rampage and dinobot's reasons slowly shifting over time as his priorities and the scope of his goals change. (i could make a whole post purely about dinobots development and goals changing as his arc progresses, alas this is about the both of them so i'll stop here.)

depth charge slowly starts coming to dinobot more and more as their pool of info on rampage expands with new battles with the predacon, though eventually they run into dead ends and reflect about their lives back on cybertron- something barely anyone on the axalon has time to do anymore with megatron growing increasingly aggressive. the two of them develop a very quiet romance together, talking late into the hours of the night. dinobot gets depth charge well and truly out of his cold shell, having allowed him to see through his obsession with rampage to the bots around him who care about him.

a few of the other maximals notice the change, of course. mainly primal, who gets in a comment or two about how depth charge seems to finally be moving on a bit from omicron, with pieces of his personality before rampage came into his life seeming to shine through occasionally.

they'd both be very standoffish about being affectionate around the other maximals, to the point where none of the others are truly aware how close they are. they're both sad old men who bottle everything aside from their anger up, and wouldn't fess up about their own feelings unless it was literally tortured out of them. this is particularly true for depth charge, as in the show he never really goes into detail on omicron, perhaps due to his guilt around being the only survivor.

the events of what depth charge saw on omicron after rampage's massacre were probably supposed to be expanded upon in the show, but depth charge probably didnt have any time dedicated to that because of how late into the show he was introduced. at least, that's how i imagine it to have gone considering other characters like tigerhawk who were nearly cut last minute but made it into the show for toy sales. either way the vagueness of what happened on omicron and how it effects depthcharge is truly up to interpretation by the fandom as i doubt we'll get anything close to an answer any time soon. as i imagine it, and lining up with how the show characterizes him, id like to think his survivors guilt makes it hard to talk about his own thoughts on omicron, though he's regurgitated the events of what happened enough for it to be ingrained in his brain module forever. (maybe ill write a whole ass post about this too who knows)

i think if depth charge had been around much earlier in the series and and had been allowed to build a relationship like this with dinobot in the 90s, code of hero would have made the most gut-wrenching angst ever, especially if rampage had had a much bigger impact on dinobot's death.

depth charge is there to see the only bot who'd gotten him to talk about omicron truthfully die, taking whatever thoughts and memories depth charge had shared with him to the last flicker of his spark without so much as a parting word about what depth charge had meant to him.

rampage- still functioning, of course, can practically see and feel the feast of emotion tearing through to the weakest flickers of the manta ray's spark, even blasted halfway across the valley where dinobot had made his last stand. these feelings were something he hadn't experienced since the first time he'd seen depth charge after omicron.

depth charge, a few cycles after code of hero and still reeling from the loss of dinobot, ends up in battle with rampage, his spark still aching and tinged with grief. Rampage, now the only one to know what dinobot had meant to him, is shamelessly gloating about having killed the *one* bot he'd been able to get close to after omicron, mocking depth charge just to see how it makes him tick.

despite all his anger, he comes back to the maximals seeming no more than merely frustrated at the fact he's yet again failed to kill rampage, though over time he begins to withdraw from the others, totally regressing back to where he had started as an uncooperative mess, utterly obsessed with killing the one person who's taken everything from him. its only when depth charge completely relapses into his obsession that dinobot's impact on him becomes well and truly obvious, but by the time that happens there's little any of them can do to stop him from completely self destructing. only he can do that for himself by killing rampage.

anyway now that i've given you all with a brief glimpse into my sick and twisted doomed yaoi mind i'll leave you with the tags

[nananarc]

EXCUSE ME WHILE I RANT FOR A BIT

So anyway I finally started with the graduation project and, lemme tell ya, it was annoying. I mean I expected this, but it's still annoying.

The school and the mentor wants things to be of a certain aesthetic and standard so it can fit with the general public's taste and eventually it can be picked up by a publisher. it has to be commercial and easy to digest, for a lack of better words. Which is like, the opposite of essentially what i am as a person and as an artist.

So anyway I'll be doing Truyện Kiều again, illustrating the full book with better art this time. Here are some sketches I did:

Below is the mentor's very quick sketch for demo:

Which is. Ok cool, it's very traditional, Vietnamese fine art design and aesthetic. The thing that you see everywhere in books and media. The thing that is taught in fine art school. And it's also very HIM because he's a very prominent artist since a long time ago. I'm not talking about the difference in the era clothing tho because he demoed in Nguyễn dynasty while mine is of the Trần dynasty.

My style was criticized (politely) that the face doesn't look pretty, the nose is too prominent and big, the lineart is too scratchy and loose, and that I have to restrict the freedom in my lineart more.

Which is. Like. Pretty much all the things that i like about my art the most. I don't really like drawing "pretty" people, I wanna draw distinct and unique people. I like the fact that the nose is prominent because that's a very Vietnamese facial feature. Our nose is big, flat and flared. And I like it. AND I DIDNT EVEN DRAW IT THAT BIG. it's already stylized and stuff. The lineart is scratchy and spontaneous because that's how my ADHD brain works! And I like the freedom, the raw unfinished feel to it. And my way of scrawing is kinda similar to sculpting in a way that I like to put in a block of line or shape (yang) and then erase it and putting in more nothing space (yin). And I like Maximalism and Kitsch and Neo-traditionalism so I love to do things a bit crazy and new and filled with emotions.

My mentor comes from a very different generation, and a different field than me. He's very commercial, leaning more into minimalism, fine-art conservative and traditional aesthetic. WHICH IS THE OPPOSITE OF ME. Sadly we don't get to choose mentor cos there's only one lmao.

And also I don't understand why I have to aim for publishing in Vietnam too, because that's not where my target customer is. I'm a niche artist with limited customer base and they are international clients (who mostly pay better, treat you better, and appreciate your art more than the general public in VN do). Luckily I have a bachelor in business admin so I know how to do brand and marketing myself, othewise id just keep on trying to please everyone (flexing a little bit, but i was graduating with excellence and on the top 10 of my intake lmeo). Not to mention the fact that why do I even have to publish in the first place, because this is a school, it is a place to experiment, make mistakes, and learn. It's not a place to conform to the industry to make a living. If I wanna do that I would not be here and start working for a company already!

I understand it when they said that it would be a huge advantage if you can get published, but then again, that route is not for everyone, and it's not the only way to be an illustrator like they said. I have my own path to walk on, and I don't think they are aware that we even have those paths, because they are from a different generation. I mean, that's why I was struggling so much before to find a footing, because virtually no one here knows there are other paths! I had to dig things up myself through sweat, blood and tear.

Anyway I rant but i will keep trying to fight and do it on my own terms. They can't make me anyway. There's gonna be sticks and stones, but I mean, I can't physically make myself do something I do not wanna do. There's another option which is to drop it because I don't need the certificate anyway, but I wanna finish a big project of my own too.

[red-dyed-sarumane]

aru sekai shoushitsu is an 11 minute song i listened to on accident because i was too tired to look at the length & was just solely like man thats such a cool title for a vocaloid song i hope it lives up to it and it 100% did. i didnt have any idea there was a story behind it it just thought it was such a cool sounding song & i remember clearly playing animal crossing past 4am with it on loop. completely forgot the producers name & didnt recognize them when they posted kyuuyaku hankagai so it took me like 3 days to actually listen to it & the SECOND i heard the nami no ne no motif i lost my mind. that was it for me ive been so deep into it since then i dont think theres a way to pull me out. at the start everything had such weird phrasing it was so hard to sort out what was stylistic and what was direct story telling & even now its sometimes difficult, but the fact with every new song we get a new version of the story and new info & everything ties together to consistently for a project made by one person over the course of several years with this level of detail.

going from knowing its a story about trying and failing to prevent the world's destruction to finding out not only are they doomed to repeat it, the only way out is to completely give up on their own self and accept total death. putting together the timeline from little hints some of which u have to sort through which is fact and which is a character's own narration distorted by either their emotions or intentionally. the fact the story telling is not entirely direct, the lyrics are only one facet of it, it goes as far as using the genre of the song to express things, theres just so much. ive been into my fair share of vocaloid song projects but this is the most precise and delicately handled one i've encountered. there is so much care and attention put into every single one of those songs it would just be insulting to not take it seriously. there was a moment i was worried it was going to turn into the same song but different when we got maximizer and then kanon and i'm so so glad that isn't the case because the way theyre handling it now really shows how important it is to them. this is a person who posts some of the most ridiculous memes ive seen & has some now popular meme songs and even with that attention they've said they're continuing to take the series seriously and that alone says so so much about the weight of this project to them.

i'll be honest with you i dont think there's a good end to this story. with the info we have now, with how aru sekai shoushitsu, the story outline song, goes i cannot see a happy ending for any of these characters. i wouldn't be surprised if it turned out we're only being shown one instance of that certain world & it ends in a way that implies despite all their efforts it's just going to happen all the same all over again, just with certain people lost forever and others willing to try more underhanded tactics to try their ideas that ultimately wont work anyway. i don't think there will be a real resolution to any of the problems. but even then there are so many currently unrevealed secrets & the overall commentary the work is making in the first place that sticking around for whatever ending we're given will be well worth the wait

[elijahhendley]

7月30號 Day 19: Monkey Mountain and Art Museums

So today we had a free morning. But, this morning a group of us decided it would be fun to hike Monkey mountain. It was the one Yeh Laoshi recommended. We did not know what we were getting into. I originally thought it would be an easy hike because it was reccomended by Yeh Laoshi, but that was far from correct. Somehow becoming sort of the trip leader I led the group to the base of the mountain safely and we saw monkeys as soon as we got there. It was awesome and we continued on our way up the path that had nice wooden stairs and an easy path. But this is where it went bad. Google maps told me to make a left that didnt even look like an optional path. It was full of mud and rocks. It seemed like a path not many people take. But I wanted to reach the mountain peak so I, with the rest of the group following, decided to turn left. We instantly knew this was a mistake but continued on our way. Then after an hour of climbing we hit another fork in the road that was the same situation as last time and AGAIN I decided to take the "quick" hard path. It was muddy, steep, dangerous, and rocky. Their were even ropes on the side to help us climb up. But at the top their were SO many monkeys. After reaching that part of the mountain we decided to hurry back because we needed to leave soon. It took us about 2 hours to walk up the mountain(not even reaching the peak). And it took us an hour to get back down. On the way down we took the safe path and it was so nice. Brooke, Brev, Iris, and I went fast down and left the rest of the group to get home early. We were all so muddy from our shoes to our knees.

After that crazy adventure we took showers and went to the Kaohsiung Museum of Fine Arts. I thought this museum was pretty cool. My favorite floor was the top floor about running that I will further explain in my academic reflection. They also had a image of the Crucifixion of Jesus which I never would have thought to see here when I was first coming to Taiwan. But, I have learned so much on this trip and have seen that Christianity has been a part of the history of this nation, although not playing a big role. Then we went to the Alien Art Centre which to be honest, I was not too impressed by. I do not like modern art. To me it feels like it could be a cool decorative peice, but I don't know how much of it should belong in an art museum. This Alien Art museum mainly displayed aluminum and steel pieces that reflected light and used mirrors to create an illusion. it looked cool but I struggled trying to find meaning and purpose behind some of the artwork. Maybe that is on me. But after that museum, we went back to the hotel and I stayed there working on job applications for the rest of the night.

Academic reflection

Here I mainly want to talk about the Kaohsiung Museum of Fine Arts. Although there were many artworks that were very unique I want to focus on the top floor which was reserved for the artist Chuang Ming-Chi. She depicts the concept of Joyful running. In her eyes running connects the different parts of the body. The inspiriation for her exhibit was how the body interacting and its moving parts reflect aspects of society. This exhibit stood out to me because I like human movement and like to run. She slpits his exhibit in 4 sections titled "Run, Be Happy," "Window into the soul," "Marathon," and "Bodyscape:Extraordinary NBA".

Run, Be Happy

This art explores the connectedness of the body. It maximally displays the act of running. You can imagine how one aspect of the body will effect another aspect and how this can mirror how things are connected in life.

Window into the soul

Window to the soul centers its theme on the eyes. Chuang recognizes the unique difference between the to ways we experience the world. First, through the eyes. Our vision does not fully encompass our body, but it is able to sense the rest of the world outside of us. Chuang sees our eyes as a bridge between the physical and the psychological body. The eyes mainnly focus on the external. While the second way we experience the world is through our body. The unique thing about or body is that it can sense the whole external enviornment and internal enviornment. While the eyes cannot see themselves and can only see a portion of our body, the body has the ability of full self perception. The artwork is Chuang's perspective on society and self through this lense.

Marathon

In this exhibit, Chuang displayed a continuous artwork that spand the entire room wall. It displayed people running throughout life and running for a long time like a marathon

Bodyscape: Extraordinary NBA

Chuang uses semi-transparent fabrics that hang from the ceiling to create a presentation that shows the natural reflexes of humans. It is called Extraordinary NBA because it is supposed to create a basketball court scenario, causing the observer to dip and dodge through the field.

Until next time, 再見！

[tfw-no-tennis]

beest warbs s2

andddddd ruth and i finished s2!!

new opening! which is mostly just clips from the s1 finale

ok i guessed that optimus would come back bc like, duh. but i was surprised that he didnt come back like, Instantly 

the new transmetal forms............................ugliy

sorry bhjsdkrhfjkasfk i dont like them....i cant believe im saying it but i prefer the cgi animals from s1 😩 it made sense! it tied into the premise of the show! now theyre just these weird shiny robo-animals...who also can fly and drive around and stuff...nah fam that aint it

cheetor doesnt even have freckles anymore 😭

also as the season went on the whole ‘energon shorts out robot forms, which necessitates beast forms’ thing was kinda quietly dropped, which doesnt make 100% sense since not that many characters got the transmetal forms

the funniest fucking thing is that the s2ep1 summary was literally just ‘terrorsaur and scorponok fucking die’ and THAT WAS IT hjdfksjkfjadfhjlad ruth and i saw that and were like HUH???

and honestly their deaths were so abrupt and unceremonious that i seriously would not have even known they had Legit Died if it hadnt been for that summary. i literally wouldve thought that theyd just end up going in a CR chamber and it wouldve been confusing as hell when they didnt come back lmaooooo

so yeah rip beta cuck and diet diet starscream lite i guess

ok and ep 2 was wild, with dinobot going on ANOTHER Shakespeare soliloquy spree, and then all that western stuff at the end??????

that was so fucking weird and hilarious. wtf 

also have i mentioned...i love dinobot. dramatic gay bitch 

also....new characters! silverbolt and quickstrike are here to quickly replace terrorsaur and scorponok lmaoooo

why does quickstrike have a southern accent when the south doesnt even exist yet as a cultural region

i love how immediately obvious it was that silverbolt was not gonna stay a predacon for long lmao

and then optimus primal returns!! looking wack as FUCK 

hvhakjdfnbskjdf sorry but i dont like his new look at all lmao. he looks weird as hell in both robot mode and “beast” mode, and im not into the whole flying snowboard thing...whats that abt

when dinobot rode around on rattrap vjhsdlfjkashdbhfjk that was so fucking funnyyyy

i cant get over megatrons new form w/the Evil Rollerskates™ thats just. so much lmaooooo but also mood bc if i could i would totally have built-in rollerskates 

did yall know i love tarantulas....that gay mad scientist bitch is hilarious

also i knew ahead of time that silverbolt and blackarachnia have a Thing but it was still soooo Much when they fought and then silverbolt refused to hit her bc shes a girl bsvdkjnfasndf

ruth: OH MY GOD HES A SIMP

ok and the ep where dinobot goes back to the predacons...bro...and everything w/the golden disk too?? that was wild 

ALSO I CANT BELIEVE AIRAZOR AND TIGATRON GOT FUCKING KIDNAPPED??? HELLO????

are they like. coming back? ever????? that was just It for them this season uhhhh so i guess we’ll have to hope they return in s3? omg

also quick shoutout to the infamous japanese dub of beast wars which accidentally made some canon gays by making airazor a dude. great job guys 

ohhhh my god when theres that alien ship thing and megatron is in it and then a big version of his face appears on the side of the ship? horrible

also i feel like beast wars megatron spends half his screentime sitting in various chairs...even when he went into that alien ship he ended up finding a big fancy chair to sit in

so yeah all that alien stuff was WILD. we still know so little abt them so im rlly interested to see if more will come up in s3 (im assuming at least a little since airazor and tigatron have to come back). like, are we gonna learn what theyre trying to do on earth? what they look like? etc?

ok silverbolt is always talking abt how blackarachnia is a good maximal on the inside and she just needs to embrace it etcetc, to me it feels like he’s a religious guy whos trying to get the girl he likes to accept jesus into her heart so they can be together hbvhajkdhbfhjksd sorry 

also silverbolt is hilarious. he’s like, a hammy simp. the way he talks is rlly entertaining lol

also theyve been namedropped a couple times so far, but what the heck is up w/the maximal council or whatever? they seem to be the ones in charge of the maximals (and presumably cybertron?), but we know literally nothing abt them...im curious

ooomg and rampage...everything w/rampage was sooo fucked like him being basically immortal is wild, and then he showed up and was tearing shit up all over the place, and then megatron fucking...removed his spark and was like You Work For Me Now. daymmmm that was so fucked up 

and he seemed to calm down after the first ep so i was like mannn i wish they would address the whole thing where megatrons controlling him - tho the maximals dont even seem to know abt it, they probably just think rampage joined them on his own. oof

and lbr even if they did know, they probably wouldnt be super motivated to free him since rampage attacked them previously, and likely wouldnt join the maximals even if given the choice

oh my god okay hold up i cant forget that DINOBOT FUCKING DIED i cant fucking believe it mate. GOD

i miss that gay moron 😔

also aside but the pre-human monkey people look soooo fucking janky hbvajkdhfjkhsdf god. so bad im sorry

oh my god and the whole thing w/the golden disc saying ‘sounds of earth...’ ruth and i saw that inscription earlier in s2 and ruth was like ‘oh isnt that a real thing, they sent out the Voyager probe into space w/a disc that has different sounds from nature and music and stuff on it called ‘sounds of earth” AND THEN THAT WAS EXACTLY WHAT THIS WAS...

i thought that was so cool, the fact that the golden disc could basically be used to look into the future...and then alter the future accordingly

its also super cool that the writers used something from REAL LIFE in the story in such a way. like, thats cool as hell, and idk much media that does so

especially bc beast wars is one of very few transformers series to not include any human characters (discounting the monkey pre-humans), so this is a really cool way to involve humanity without having any recurring human cast members

when dinobot nearly committed seppuku...uhm jesus bro

and then when he fought off all the predacons ALONE, and then FUCKING DIED...that was legit sad as hell...like he kept almost going into stasis lock but kept overriding it which was gonna kill him and AUGH

and then when the maximals show up as he’s dying...mannnn

and his last words - “and the rest is silence.” poetic and quoting Shakespeare until the literal end I see

basically that episode was fucking brutal but also really good. phew

AND THEN ITS FOLLOWED UP BY THE TRANSMUTATE EPISODE...ruth and i watched these two eps back to back in one night and afterwards we were basically braindead. that was A Lot 

the transmutate ep HHHHH where to even start

ok so transmutate...the whole story was just fucking tragic but also. TERRIFYING...

like this ep gave me the same vibes that i got when i watched the movie ET in like 4th grade and got scared as hell 

like, i am a Full Grown Adult and NOT ONLY THAT i had a job in a cadaver lab for like 5 YEARS so i generally am not easily scared but holy SHIT this episode legit unsettled me liiiike

the design and animation (and voice acting) on transmutate were like....terrifying oh my god. like, the way she(?) moved was so scary, with the slow movements and just, everything w/the neck/head....AUGH

and that like, pained screech she did ???? that was just horrible oh my god

anyways literally ruth and i spent this entire ep just like, cowering and yelling out of fear lmao. i went outside in the dark later and i swear i saw transmutate in the shadows. terrifying

in terms of the plot of the ep, that shit was fucked up. it basically amounted to silverbolt and rampage fighting over transmutate w/little regard for transmutate as a person, and ending w/her dying. which was fucked btw

and the fact that everyone was like ‘oh yea transmutate basically doesnt count as an alive sentient being’ was messed up bc they came to that conclusion very quickly and with only a small amount of data....messed up. also messed up is how the maximals suggested putting transmutate in like, a medically induced coma basically, bc she was a freak of nature. which may be true but STILL, that probably violates some ethical laws. arent yall supposed to be the good guys?!

also rampage trying to befriend and save transmutate was sad...especially knowing his circumstances w/megatron and stuff. just Ls all around

ok this cuts off abruptly but thats all folks ig vbajdkfbjksdf

[weitianjie]

stay with me rant pt 2

EPISODE 11 IS OUT!!!

listened to it during class this morning and i was trying not to die, WE FINALLY GET THE SECOND PART OF THEIR STORY!!!!

i hate mo yi so bad

LIKE HES THE REASON FOR ALL OF THIS. HE EXPOSED THEIR RELATIONSHIP TOO. HE WENT TO JAIL BUT CLEARLY FOR NOT LONG ENOUGH I WISH HE GOT A LIFE SENTENCE.

2. all the parents trying to keep the two away from each other

its actually so sad i literally cant. wubi's dad saying "they were just young, they didn't know better" YOU DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THEIR LOVE FOR EACH OTHER YOU DONT KNOW ANYTHINGGGG. suyu's dad knowing the situation too...IT HURTS IT ACTUALLY HURTS CAUSE HE CARES FOR SUYU SO MUCH BUT NOT ENOUGH TO BE ACCEPTING

3. I WAS RIGHT ABOUT THEIR FUTURE JOBS(except for one)

mao chong is a famous actor!!!!! duoduo is a writer!!! suyu works in biology!!! and the one i didn't get right: hanbokuang works in airport security??? i thought hed be working at an office job

4. duoduo!!!

duoduo still as smart as ever. she def knows the whole homophobia situation which is why she was trying to hint at suyu to see if he knew that wubi was back in the mainland and the way she made sure to throw off suspicion as soon as she realized like, our girl frfr!!! she knows so much she KNOWS and she cares so much for suyu, thats her older brother right there!!!! she wants the best for him + calling him out on his antisocial behavior + his coping mechanism i love her so much

other general thoughts:

tang xu!!! our local fudanshi, he has played these games before LMAO. he clocked suyu and wubi's relationship from first glance its so funny. and he was like yeah~ ill play along and make suyu jealous so u guys can get back together or smth what in the fudanshi behavior

wubi's two friends!! da wen and eryi. i actually love how much they care for wubi like initially they didnt think that wubi would be into men but they came around so quickly to accepting it even making cute jokes its actually so nice to see. like it warmed my heart so much <3 "saozi" jokes and then wubi actually playing along with it LMAO, they were shittalking moyi as well PEAK FRIENDSHIP

the parallels between maochong's movie and wylb's relationship actually kills me, hbk's comment on it too.......

"be harsh......don't be too harsh" everyone point and laugh at this petty loser who doesn't know how to communicate properly with his boyfriend that hes been yearning over for the past 8 years LMAO

playing hard to get at the extreme okay yeah i know you two cant communicate but its getting a bit annoying

suyu also being SO much more avoidant and distant than before, overworking himself to distract from life's troubles, ahhh classic su yu.

mao chong and han bokuang's "friendship" LMAO so glad theyve reunited. theyre like, the happy version of wylb.

suyu knowing where wubi would be, like, my god, okay you two! wubi playing hard to get but immedieately regretting after he actually upset su yu oh my god why are they so bad at communicating. tang xu: ooooo i think hes actually mad girl

the slight parallel to episode 1 too....i got deja vu from that like Woah lets take a step back here

two stubborn petty fake idgafers playing hard to get and maximizing their miscommunication, wonderful show

ep 12 trailer killed my grandma, from what it seems, they make up(sort of?) or at least im hoping they do! and wubi brings up the question "have you thought about me these 8 years" okay yeah fuck me gently with a chainsaw

[pocketrocketyuki]

I think you’re not looking correctly at the response to the team orders in Australia vs China. In Australia people were mad because they were told by McLaren that the drivers would be allowed to fight, so seeing team orders be used in the first race was surprising and contradictory. When team orders were used once again in China, it wasn’t as much of a surprise because we’d already seen them be used in Australia, so as much as we would’ve liked to see them fight it was at least consistent with previous actions to maximize the positions on track.

I do think it has a lot to do with perspective, so you are right, maybe im seeing it 'wrong', or at least differently.

I also saw Australia as a must. Just because mclaren said they werent going to do team orders doesnt mean they cannot negate a dangerous situation. Oscar trying to overtake, whilst there are backmarkers, having to go off the dry line was a big risk, which i get why Mclaren didnt want to take seeing as as soon as the track wasnt dry, both Lando and Oscar went off. If they hadnt done the orderd and they had both flung off, Mclaren would also be called asshats for not managing them. Others seeing it as mclaren pulling one over on oscar can think that, it did look like it especially with how the radios were times, but looking back to me at least it was a logical decision.

China might then have been the "repay the favor" which id also get, even though there was no dangerous situation this time that would be the reason, other than "dont pressure now when theres still people close enough behind, do it later when theres no one close". Also understandable!

in both australia and china, mclaren intended to allow for racing to happen. In australia Oscar had falledn too far back by the time the backmarkers were gone, and in china lando was too far away and couldnt get closer because the brakes decided they didnt want to work anymore.

in the end, everyone will have a different opinion about each team order, i just think its slightly hypocritical to say Team Orders are Bad on one instance, then say Team Orders are Good another time, the only difference being the driver it favors. But even then, everyone has a bias, so i dont think its too wrong either

[alternating-b-w]

a lot of people nowadays, when consuming media, do not have the ability to adjust their mindset and expectations on what should happen to the actual events of the story. people expect found family partially because they lack emotional immaturity or life experience.

i don't want to sound like a snob, but the popular fiction landscape is currently dominated by fanfiction or wannabe fanfiction- genre fiction that labels itself with ao3 tropes. you know the sort: cozy fiction, brandon sanderson type stuff, or honestly? if i see an anime genre in a native english language novel, like magical girls or mecha, i run. they are best suited to visual media for a reason. this is my personal opinion, so don't jump me for this, but these works don't tend to deal with emotional matters in a complex, subtle matter. when there is a romance story, you get a character who says "i hate this guy, he's kind of cute- i mean a BITCH." when someone suffers, their response is measured or defined in what angst trope do they respond with. they are cut and paste characters designed for emotional gratification, behaving relatively similar across the board regardless of how someone about the same age, gender and in the circumstances as those characters would behave. i could further go on about how how this in part stems from not really examining the culture and mannerisms of the opposite sex (and yes, i used the word sex, because it's important to analyse gendered socialisation when understanding how someone relates to their gender in present, cis or trans) to oneself when writing, but i digress. my main point is that the anime community tends to be bedfellows with those sorts of literature fans.

meanwhile, golden kamuy doesn't really have stock characters, aside from maybe shiraishi.

for example, sugimoto's a wanderer with ptsd, but there's no mystique or affected melancholy to his trauma, i.e. no real whump-bait. a less thoughtful writer would stop the brakes on the story midway to kick in the ye olde 1900s japanese therapy-speak and have him solve his issues that way, or have him cry and open up about his trauma regardless of him not being the sort of person to do that.

likewise, tsurumi's a manipulator, but he isn't a mustache twirler or a ragyo kiryuin clone- he's eccentric, charming and makes his men feel they owe him without him ever holding it over them. the actions he takes in the story create a logical conclusion of his men being loyal to him. a lesser author would have created a character who is a manipulator because they said so, even if in real life the character's men would all actually scared of him or would probably be offput by him trying to overstep their boundaries.

then, there are the characters who are 'useless', but are still present such as kadokura, kirawus, or vasily. we understand their emotional states, but equally that the main cast dont want or need to be their best friends; this making everyone feel real because it shows where the main casts priorities lie! kado and kira were certainly aware theyre werent pulling their weight compared to anji or ushiyama, but they didnt really give a fuck because kadokura had already did hijikata a massive solid with the prison break-in. meanwhile, vasily can't even speak japanese and followed sugimoto's group for the sole purpose of jumping ogata. he wasn't there to make friends and the story's not, at its core, about making friends, so why on earth would vasily end up being friends with sugimoto? gk respects every single character's agency and motivations more than making the reader feel warm and fuzzy.

however, when one doesnt think critically about characters and how their circumstances should impact them, it's easy for one to default to the mental comfort zone: tropes. likewise, when one doesn't spend much time in a highly competitive environment like the events of gk, they cant quite comprehend the fragile nature of the relationships made in those circumstances. so, to maximize emotional gratification, a somewhat friendly group now becomes a found family.

now the ogata issue starts when when the reality peeks through- ie, that every character bar asirpa has tried to kill each other at some point, the classic fanon 'fuck canon i do what i want' mindset kicks in. here's the thing- ogata is one of the only characters to which you really can't 'fuck canon' your way out of. even usami's quirky enough that you can easily box him in as the yandere sort, but ogata killed his mom, dad and brother over deep-seated daddy issues. it is very hard to defang the character into making him have the found-family appeal, especially as the story progressed and he went from weird quiet guy with sad backstory (which is still workable) to telling asirpa "do it pussy you won't." there is no way to turn ogata as we know him into an archetype fit for emotional gratification without removing a lot of what makes ogata ogata, as he would rather kill himself than show emotional vulnerability or change his mindset, so he becomes the odd one out when talking about the different groups in gk. thats what i think.

I mean... I am a person without a lot of attachments. I don't have a lot of trust in people, and I generally view people as simply everybody on their own path.

So then when I read other people's interpretations of gk, I'm often confused because I don't really understand where they're coming from.

For example, the idea of loyalty seem to be really important to a lot of other fans. Ogata is interpreted by almost everyone as a untrustworthy, with no loyalties.

But I don't understand why anyone in this story needs to have loyalties or why loyalty is even a good thing.

Everybody has completely different motivations and wants.

Tsurumi wants to split off a piece of the military, and use it to regain territory in Russia Where his wife and child are buried.

Hijikata says that he is looking to revive the Republic of Ezo, but actually he doesn't have the resources, or the time to do that so really he's looking for one last great battle and to die under that banner rather than to set up and new independent political entity.

Shiraishi has no real goals and just likes his friends and would love to get some money out of it. He later takes on Boutarou's goal.

Ogata has no real concrete achievable goal and is looking for an abstract sense of worth.

Sugimoto also has no real concrete goal and is using the gold hunt to avoid confronting the fact that he really has no place to return to. He says he has to get the money before he returns to ume, but this is just a prerequisite he set for himself, to delay returning. Ume isn't waiting for him, has no idea that he's out trying to get the money for her, and doesn't even know if he's alive. Despite all of the importance that he places on returning to her, he is a non-entity in her life, in the same way that Ogata is a non-entity in his father's life. The similarities and differences between Ogata and sugimoto is best left for another post.

Asirpa...... is a 12-year-old girl and is still trying to make sense of the world.

Many of the soldiers don't have any goals of their their own other than following orders or impressing their commander. People like Inenaga, ushiyama don't really have any aspirations for the gold. They just seem to be along for the ride since they have map tattoos.

My point is....

These are all clearly people with individual and completely different goals, to which the gold is just a means to an end. So I don't understand why loyalty is considered important, in fact I don't understand why it's a thing at all.

So given that ..... I don't understand why Ogata is considered a disloyal betrayer....

When I read comments by other readers, it really feels like there's an expectation that these groups be a found family of sorts. A place of trust and loyalty where people support and mentor each other and it makes no sense to me.

Like that's something you expect from the military. Members of the military are supposed to be brothers in against a common enemy led by a father figure and it is explicitly pointed out that this is not the case.

People bully each other, sometimes severely. The father figure is self-interested and the only sees his men as pawns. There are shifting loyalties and factions with their own goals in the same unit. The military is not a family substitute. Gold hunt groups are not a family substitute. Even family do not present the kind of loyal loving support that people seem to expect.

So I just..... I straight up have no understanding of why Ogata is considered to be a betrayer, because I don't understand how loyalty is a thing here. I mean to me, the very concept of loyalty in this story seems to be a lie used to manipulate people seeking identity and belonging, and have them be willing to die for the group.

When I look around on forums and discussions it seems like most people do not share this interpretation. People interpret media and events is through the lens of their own experiences. And I actually keep wondering if I'm missing something huge. Like if other people interpret loyalty in a totally different more meaningful way, what are their experiences that support this belief?

Just Curious

TLDR: this is not a story about found family as much as you want it to be. Instead it's about each person finding a place for themselves....not everyone is looking for a family.

Edit: I guess this is sort of meta. The reason I have this interpretation because I have a long history of working for corporations, and despite the found family culture that they try to create and all the team building exercises, people are constantly gunning for each other, trying to get people fired, taking credit for other people's work, making people look bad in front of management to elevate their own status, trying to jump ship and go to other companies in the same industry with proprietary knowledge... so my take on this whole story is that..."this is simply how people operate."

Like I've been on team building exercises with the company where everybody an outdooring trip and bonds over canoeing, and then immediately the next day people get back to trying to get each other fired.

That's just how people are. People form connections over all sorts of things, but that doesn't mean that they aren't out for themselves or that the connection will always exist, or that the connection is deep or that the person is loyal to you.

[hangonhanginthere]

mega rant incoming

i feel like im behind all my friends in terms of maturity. ive always been told i was mature and like put together but am i really? i feel like because of this ive been led by other peoples voices and guidance without really creating a path for myself. i dont know where im going with life. all my friends have goals and ambitions that are just so bright it could blidn you. they have reasons to backup their plans and real passion for the things they do. i dont have any passion. all i have is love thats just kind of warm and fuzzy. it doesnt serve much purpose but its there. but also i dont think i distribute my love emough. i keep it to myself because i think i need it kore. but the keeping of love to myself is making less space for my passion. i dont think ive ever been passionate in my life. i think i need to experience more out of life instead of staying cooped up in my room but now it all feels too late because i have to study for school and plan out my future. all the years leading up to this were supposed to be utikised and maximized to its full potential but ive wasted all of it scrolling on my phone and interacting with people online that i will never meet or have some real personal connection with that i couldve had with people in real life. i dont know where im going with this rant either. its all over the place.

i cant stick to one topic because my mind goes into overdrive and bounces off topics all over and it just spills out onto this page. i am incapable to writing a personal essay because i cannot do inflection or have any sort of vulnerability. i feel scared. what if i dont have a future. all my teachers and friends and family theyre all counting on me because im the brightest star of the school. what if reaching too high just makes me fall down more height? is it really worth the effort if i fail? am i learning more about myself, yes, but what im really feeling is how much therapy would benefit me. here i am typing words into a tumblr blog. who even uses tumblr anymore? only fandoms probably. so no one will see this but i guess ill remain on the records of the internet forever. anonymously.

so anyways i really should have used my time better and i regret everything i did because i didnt put enough effort into them that they would leave an impact on me or someone else. i dont feel, i think. and thats the problem.

[miradanii]

Beastwars first watch episodes 18-21

Back from a break on watching the series. A very interesting character appeared....

Ep 18 - I forgot I was in the middle of it while at work and accidentally skipped past it to episode 19 and then went back. Due to being so confused who this new character was. Ngl I simultaneously think he's gross and cool. I like his robot head. Very sharp. I think the model is an improvement too.

Oh yeah Tarantulas says the planet is doomed and won't say jack shit? Mk. Keep your secrets. So what we got a signal beam from Stonehendge that temporarily captured Optimus, and destroying a peaceful floating island. Hmmm

Ep 19 - This was a much quieter episode and it felt like they were experimenting with more camera movements. Fun seeing these characters much more animalistic even if they're technically already kinda animals with hints of animal behavior?? Also out of nowhere I laughed. I'm just vibing and all of a sudden Megatron is hoisted up by his crew on a lil carry throne with Black Arachina banging kn a drum I guess they made. It's just...so silly. I love it.

Ep 20 - the Maximals go blind?! This was kind of sad, seeing Cheetor getting beaten up. Poor kitty....I think the only funny part was Dinobot freaking out and running into a tree flattening himself. Straight up slapstick humor. I think its one of the episodes where I kind of wish for the rest of it the Predicons didn't show up and it was purely the wilds that grt the best of them. Just a personal opinion. Maybe because I want to see an entire slower paced episode without fighting for once.

Ep 21 - It's Starscream. Oh boy he's a screaming Lil guy, the voice actors must take realllly good care of his vocal chords cause wow (okay wow he plays Terrorsaur i cant believe i didnt catch that). And he's from the past?? Are they connecting the 1980's movie and this show?? Hm cool tie in. I find it incredible throughout so many iterations of Transformers the writers have Starscream weasel his way back into the story any way he can. Guy is just truly unkillable.

Overall this wasn't the greatest batch of episodes to bindge. I had been busy waiting all week attempting to watch at least one episode and when I watched all 4 in one sitting...hm guess 4 was one too many. I'll pace it out better next time.