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madwomansapologist · 5 months

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like a virgin, like a prayer | shan yu

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synopsis: It's been months since you had agreed upon being his lover, and weeks since you truly became it. Now all you can think is about how much you want Shan Yu. All the time, in every way. And so does he.

warnings: smut. consensual/non consensual voyeurim. strip tease. exhibitionism. public nudity. public/non public masturbation. loss of virginity. gentle sex. oral sex. blood. size kink. shan "i will make it fit" yu. praise kink. creampie. age gap. kidnapping. shan yu (i need to respect my wife) x reader (just fuck me already, please). yandere!shan yu. female!reader. in this house we hate the misogynist version of Shan Yu in Mulan (2020).

A bird of prey. That's what he truly is. More than a warrior, than a strategist: Shan Yu is a watcher. He analyzes, observes. And when he find a focal point, he don't let it be. Just like his falcone, it's on his nature to watch when no one knows they're being watched.

And you're the object of his desires and curiosities. You're the mistery he can't seem to unravel. Every little thing you do, from the way you look at people to the things you say when you're alone with yourself, facinastes him.

After all, that's how he meet you. Watching you when you thought you were alone. That's how he fell in love. Watching your soul echoing through the woods. Apparently what people say is true. Old habits die hard.

Shan Yu wanted to get drunk on every aspect of you. The way you walk like you don't have time to waste. How you do your hair on the mornings. Which clothes can steal your interest when you're walking on a village. How sometimes you will randomly look at this sky, breath in, and come back to your routine.

He likes to know who you're when there is no one else around. Your reaction to the book you're reading when you're alone bellow an ash tree, how silence seems to restore your energy, how you can be really mad over little, insignificant things. Shan Yu wants to see you with no filters.

It's not his fault that he wants you whole.

Even thought you're his prisoner — now you wholeheartly agreed to be his bride —, you're a free spirit. He can see that by the way nature works on you. Shan Yu can take you from others, if it was on him no one would ever deserve the privilege of your presence, but there is a limit for the things he can take from you. And he would never take swimming away from you.

After your classes for war strategic, his guards make sure that you won't be bothered by anyone feeling stupid enough to mess with what belong to Shan Yu. You can have your fun for how long you desires, the only thing he asks is for you to eat from time to time. So for a couple of hours, is just you and the freedom water gives you.

And him, of course.

Watching from afar. It's like you're a deity. Shan Yu is on his way to conquer China, but if you asked him to conquer the sea it would be yours. It already is. He will just make others surrender to you.

The thing is that now you're aware of him.

Maybe at the beginning you weren't, but now you're familiar enough with the weight of his careful gaze. You can feel it burning your skin. Instead of being the object of his gaze, you feel like the watcher. Shan Yu observes you, just as you observe him. You like to play a little game: you put yourself on his place, and imagine what he's thinking about.

When you take care of your skin and he is so quietly doing nothing on the other side of the room, you like to imagine Shan Yu is trying to learn what to do if you ever ask him to help you. When you choose new clothes and you feel his eyes lingering on you from other side of the path, you like to pretend he's picturing you on them. When you read and he's hidden into the woods, you imagine him taking notes of what book he should gift you next. And when you're on a lake, you want Shan Yu to imagine you naked again.

Just as when he first meet you.

You don't swim without your clothes anymore, and you do it to make sure that his imagination will work on your favor. You ain't sure why, but him imagining you is way more interesting than him seeing you. To picture him picturing you is your little, constant sin.

But you would prefer if he joined you.

You miss his touch. Don't matter how long it have been since you were next to him, you miss Shan Yu. You always want him close to you. And when you miss him, the memories of your first kiss comes to haunt you.

It was an trap, one that his army fell right into. Usually the Hun army travels to battle, but this time it happened inside the camp. Kids, old people, workers that have nothing to do with that war: everyone was in danger.

Shan Yu knows you can fight, you train with his army, but that doesn't mean he will let you go with him to any battle. The thing is that this time he couldn't control the situation.

You wandered towards him, a sword in your hand and courage on your chest, knowing that he was doing the same.

Shan Yu kicked a man's legs, breaking it. His sword cut his throat open, but a scream came to his ears. When he turned, Shan Yu saw your sword passing throught a open chest. With blood staining your face, you let the body fall and looked at Shan Yu. "You're hurt?"

Shan Yu marched towards you, the world burning behind him, and pulled you by your waist. He almost took you off the ground, you supported yourself on him, and brushed the blood on your face. When he kissed you, it was like there were only you two in the world.

You felt his.

And now you want to be his. In every way. You'll never think that way if Shan Yu was a man from your village. You'll never be respected if you layed with someone before wedding them, don't matter how much you love one another or how bad you need to do that. That would never, ever happen.

But he isn't a man from your village. You're not there anymore. And you don't want to wait any longer.

When the camp was set close to a region filled with thermal water, you had an idea. Ond that you were too eager to ignore. Too hungry to not consider.

The guards walk you to a certain point, warning you that when the ring beels you'll have ten minutes to get there before they went looking for you. Feeling his gaze burning your skin, you did the rest of the path.

First you took your shoes off. You touched the water, it was so warm. So perfect. You carefully held the hem of your dress, pulling it out slowly. Step by step you dive into the water. With water brushing against your collarbone, you sat facing where you knew he was.

That was your invitation for Shan Yu to join you.

So you waited.

And waited.

But nothing happened.

Frustrated, you imagine what else would made him get of his secret place and just do something already. You closed your eyes, bite your lips, and then you found a answer.

Shan Yu makes you feel shiny and new. Free, but also owned. In control, and also controled. Shan Yu makes you fell like you have nothing to hide. So you didn't.

You weren't sure if he could see your fingers from so far away, so you made sure to keep your face still. You wanted him to see every fraction of a different expression. As your fingers pressed against your clit, for a second you felt like your moans could echo throught the whole wood.

After you came, your body shaking from pleasure and adrenaline, you dive into the water. You felt suddenly so embarrassed. Embarrassed for liking it so much. Embarrassed for not being even a little bit ashamed of what you just done.

You set a trap for him. Now it's with Shan Yu.

At dinner, you finally saw him. In a tent with all his generals, even when discussing important matters you could sense his eyes lingering on your skin.

"How long will we stay here?" You took a sip from your glass. "In this village."

Shan Yu breathe in before answering you. "Three more days."

You pouted. "What a shame. I liked this place. The woods here are so calm. And so lonely."

Shan Yu suddenly stand up, not worrying about excusing himself. You said something to the generals and asked one of his adivisors to take care for the rest of the night. Shan Yu was faster than you, but you saw him heading towards your shared carriage.

"Hey," you closed and locked the door. Shan Yu stopped in the middle of the room, his hands pressing against his head. Behind him, you put your hands on Shan Yu's shoulders, massaging his skin. "You're feeling unwell?"

Shan Yu sighed. You could feel his determination melting into your touching. It was a key to make him act as you wanted. All he wants is to be loved by you, and if you show him this love... "If only you knew the things you do to me."

You bit your lips, controling the smirk. "Are you mad at me, my sun?" You practically purred.

Shan Yu turned to you, his long hands holding your face. You felt so safe. So perfectly fine around him. "No, my moon," Shan Yu kissed your forehead. You almost felt guilty by teasing him so bad. "Never at you."

"Then I don't understand," you put your hands on his. "Why are acting this way? Maybe I can help you."

Shan Yu touched your forehead with his, and you closed your eyes. His breath was warm against your skin. You kissed his thumb.

"Drink with me."

You didn't knew if Shan Yu was asking or demanding. Either way, you nodded. You sat on your shared bed, and watched him serve you both from his personal wine.

"You told once me about a bad experience with a matchmaker," Shan Yu opened the bottle. He gazed over you for a second, then went back to the wine. "That made me wonder."

"About what?"

Shan Yu may be a lot of things, but he isn't a coward. He didn't fear your answer or your reaction, he wanted to hear the truth. So he asked for it. "You we're promised to someone?"

That wasn't what you were expecting to hear. "Yes," you admitted. "When I got old enough, my parents made a deal with his. We didn't got married because he was called to serve the emperor."

Shan Yu sat in front of you, handing you a glass. You took a sip of it, and hated the taste. Shan Yu like his drinks strong, but you prefer them sweet.

He caressed your feet, resting close to his thights. "Have you laid down with him?"

You tried the wine again. It was horrible still, but at least it had alcohol in it anyway. "Not with him," his fingers brushed against your legs. "Not with anyone else."

Shan Yu squeezed your skin lightly. "It's my duty to honor you, my moon." There were a different fire on his eyes. Something almost palpable. "Just as it's my duty to satisfy you."

"What you mean by that?" You knew exatcly what he meant.

"You're so young. It's normal for you to have needs. Desires," his cold fingers made to the sensitive spot behind your knees. "For you to want more from me."

"Is that why you are so nervous?" You drank the rest of the wine and put the glass on the floor. "Because you want more from me?"

Don't matter what, your words keep on surprising Shan Yu. You will never stop to amaze him. "Yes, my moon."

"If you want it so bad," you smiled. "Then take it."

Holding your legs, Shan Yu pulled you closer. He carressed your face, his fingers so cold against your skin. When he kissed you, all your worries and fears just disappeared. It was impossible to feel anything but love and lust.

His kiss moved to your chin, your cheeks, your earlobe. When you flinched, you felt his smile against your skin. Shan Yu kissed your neck, your shoulders, your hands.

Looking at you, glaring deep into your soul, Shan Yu made something burn inside you. You looked away, so he held you by your chin.

"Don't do that," Shan Yu brushed his fingers against your lips. "Let me see you."

"I don't know what to do," you revealed.

"You don't need to anything." Shan Yu carressed your face. "Come here," he tapped his thights. "Let me take care of you."

You crawled towards him, sitting on his lap. You supported yourself on your knees, your hands on his chest, not wanting to put all your weight on him.

Shan Yu grabbed your waist and pulled you down. He came back to kissing you, this time his hands wandering throught your body. One found a home on your hair, the other squeezed your waist. You put your arms around him, letting he get deeper into your mouth.

Shan Yu pulled the string of your clothes, revealing your body once again for him. His fingers brushed against your collarbones, circled your tits, held your hips. "The gods must envy your beauty," he whispered into your mouth.

He laid you down on the mattress. You felt weighless. So small in comparison to him. His hands went down your spine, nails scretching your skin lightly, and grabbed both of your legs. He opened them, and you never felt so exposed before.

One thing was to undress for him. Other was for him to undress you.

"Breath in," you did as he said. Shan Yu kneeled between your legs, and it was almost impossible to think. "Breath out," once again you behaved.

As his face got near your sex, his breath made you close your legs. He hold them, opening you for him again. He warned you with his yellow eyes.

Shan Yu licked you slowly. You trembled bellow him. His nose brushed against your lips, and you bite your fingers. He was so calm, so patient. His licked your lips, sucked your clit, used his tongue to stimulate you whole.

When you whimpered, Shan Yu got eager. He pulled you by your hips, getting you even closer, and his hands went up to your breasts. You moaned his name, and for a second he almost lost control.

He bite your inner thights, and then licked it. Your breath was already a mess. His tongue wandered through your tummy, your chest, your breasts. Shan Yu grabbed your hand, taking it off your mouth.

"I will hear you," he demanded. "Don't hide yourself."

You held him by his forearm. "I want you," you moaned. "Please."

Shan Yu could've cum just by the look on your face. "It will hurt," he said. As if you didn't knew. "You don't need to."

He closed his eyes, trying to regain control over himself. To feel your taste on his tongue, your smell on his upper lip, the warmth of you bellow him. Shan Yu felt like a starving man being welcomed home with a full supper.

But you are no something he wants to consume. Shan Yu wants to devour you, to know every inch of your skin and all that things that make your body tremble. But Shan Yu don't want to take from you something he will never be able to give you back just because he wants to. He needs you, but you need to be the one chosing to do this.

"I'll stop," he moved away from you. You felt incomplete without his weight upon you. "I must stop."

You put your legs around his hips, locking him with you. "Make me feel yours," you purred. Don't matter what you sounded like: were the one demanding now. You stroked his forearms, trying your best to find the words you need. "I'm starving. Don't go."

You had seem him shirtless before. At training, after a battle when blood stained his body, when he went to sleep. But to see him whole... that made you lick your lips.

He was big. So big. You almost regret ever doing that. But his cock also made you salivate, so you pretend that you weren't scared. You wanted him inside you. You wanted Shan Yu to make you whole.

Even if it hurts.

Shan Yu slid his cock on your lips, and you felt yourself getting wetter. So warm. It twitched against you. When he started to enter you, you closed your eyes. This time Shan Yu let it pass.

It burned. Your insides ache, and it's been just the beginning. He was so thick. After a few seconds without moving, Shan Yu tried again.

This time you whimpered. "Fuck," you cried. "Wait, I..."

"As you... wish," Shan Yu moaned against your neck. You were so tight. So warm. You would be the end of him. "Stop squirming."

"I'm sorry," you cried. You tried to move away from him, but Shan Yu held you in place. "I hurted you?"

He groaned. "No, my moon," he whispered. Shan Yu strucked the skin of your hips, trying to calm you down. He could already smell the blood. "Far from it."

You held his hands, trying to not get lost on your mind. "I don't think it will fit," you whimpered. "It's too big."

You really were trying to made him go crazy, weren't you? "I will make it fit."

After a few seconds, you nodded. Slowly, Shan Yu did as he said. He made it fit. And by doing that, he reached a point that even through all that pain made you roll your eyes. You tried to forget about that burning pain and focus on his cock pressing against that sweet point.

When his fingers brushed against your clit, you held him closer. Your nails digged into his back, and your teeths into his shoulders. Shan Yu didn't care about the pain. All he did was to hold your head as he moved slowly.

"I think I..." You couldn't do anything but to feel, and you felt so much. You were drooling. "Fuck, Shan Yu..."

"You were made for me," Shan Yu whispered into your ears. "Made for me to love, for me to fuck you."

Not a word he said made to your brain. You couldn't hear him. You couldn't do anything but to feel tortured by how he kept on hitting that spot again and again. If you cry, it won't because of the pain.

When you trembled, it was like you died for a second. The pleasure hit you in waves so much stronger than you. Maybe you cried his name. Maybe you screamed it. Maybe you bit your lips until they bleed. You don't know. All you know is that it was so good.

With you shaking bellow him, Shan Yu came inside you. He groaned like an animal, and maybe at that moment he really were one.

"I think I drooled all over you," you chuckled as you cleaned his shoulders with your hand.

Shan Yu held your hands and kissed them, looking deep into your eyes. "What do you need?"

"A bath," you carressed his lips.

Shan Yu watched as his cum covered your lips. Your used cunt glowed. Such a pretty sight.

He took you into his arms, your legs around his hips, and lift you from bed. You giggled, once again feeling so weighless around him.

"Then I shall bath you," he said softly.

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