#do i think we should tell strangers to kill themselves no i dont

[daydadahlias]

JESS NO FUCKING WAY i started uni today and my wallpaper is a 5sos themed one so this girl was like omg are you a calum girlie? and i was like nope im solidly in ashton lane and she was like OMG I LOVED HIM BEFORE AND DURING YOUNGBLOOD ERA BUT I KINDA STOPPED IDK WHY and i had to excuse myself instantly lest i say kys to a complete stranger that i have to see for another 4 years

no bc who could really blame us if we attacked??? like would we truly be the ones to blame for that?? we were provoked. ash girlies (gn) deserve a pass.

im making all of us permission slips to beat people up <3

[orcelito]

Hmmm

The increase in public comfort of telling people (even random strangers) to kill themselves as a "joke" is pretty disconcerting, actually.

[makeallmyeggsgold]

Heads up, if one conducts themselves in a way that I would deem inappropriate to experience in-person, I block.

[notjennyfromtheblocked]

The more I interact with people the more I realize that extroversion is completely unnecessary and unnatural.

No, you do not need social interaction constantly. No you do not need hundreds of friends. Wtf is even small talk.

Humanity flourishes with small familial/found familial groups/friendships, and everyone needs alone time. Very few jobs ACTUALLY require extroversion to thrive. No, I don't want to have a conversation wirh my cashier or barista. We are making a transaction. We don't need to interact. And as time progresses with self service eventually we won't need even that. Don't speak to me if I'm purchasing something from your company. You're not my friend; you exist simply to give me what I am spending money to have. That is your purpose. I know you think becoming my friend will endear me to you so I can save you from the hellscape of boredom your job is, but that's not my obligation. This isn't Great Expectations. Being nice to a stranger won't give you a better life. Getting off your ass and applying yourself will; stop expecting introverts who are independent to do it for you.

Office work probably needs even less interaction. There's no reason FOR office work at all. It's a fact work from home was more productive. Most jobs don't actually need in-person work and if they do they definitely don't need you to be social. If you're in healthcare you fix my ass up and that's it. We dont need to chit chat. We don't even need to go out anymore tbh; that's why have the internet, online shopping, and DoorDash and Instacart. If it is required to go out, shut the fuck up and get back home asap. If you need to be social, go home and talk on the phone or use the internet or text. Nobody wants to hear your squawking laughter at restaurants and unintelligent gabbing at parks and stores. If you can't be noisy at your apartment or house, too bad. Should've bought your own hoke in a more secluded area. Don't make it pur problem. Cell phones in public should be for texting, dipshit. That's why it was invented. If you're waiting for an important phone call, STAY YOUR ASS AT HOME. I don't care about your problems! I don't know you! I don't want to overhear your cunt ass speak!

Any job that """requires""" talking to individuals in a conversational way is bullshit and it isn't actually necessary. Extroverts FORCED it to be a requirement by their nonstop yammering and FORCING people to put up with their look at me look at me main character syndrome. NOBODY should be making friends in a workplace environment anyway. Do you want to be betrayed and manipulated? Wait you're an extrovert. You're the one throwing us under the bus.

Do you think cavemen were partying and laughing noisily as possible and bragging about how social they are? No they were being quiet so they could hunt to survive. I guarantee that extroverts were killed by bears in the past. You think peasants and servants were making asses of themselves in public and forcing everyone to pretend they weren't annoyed? Do you think slaves were walking slow on sidewalks and taking up space in aisles to chat and never getting their work done because they were playing around but get away with being lazy because they're ass kissing their bosses with their extroversion? No. But you know who was doing that shit? Their rich ass elite royals and slave owners. Servants mind their business and Eat the Rich sociopaths were gossiping. Extroverts will manipulate everyone around them by playing invented games like "how to act exactly as society demands and say all the right opinions without offering an actual opinion" to get everyone on their side then you'll see how they act off the clock and they're totally different. This is SOCIOPATHY. You're a schmoozing sociopath who fucking lies and everyone thinks you're annoying and hates your fucking GUTS but Society demands we can't tell it how it is.

TLDR; extroversion is an invented word to cover for psychopathy, manipulation, and coercive control over the masses.

[most-canon-non-canon-ship-poll]

literally hoping they break up in the last season

Why Mileven is shit - a submission-based essay, part 2/3

Mileven - a currently canon het ship from the Stranger Things fandom between Michael (Mike) Wheeler and Jane (Eleven) Ives/Hopper/Byers/IDK

they NEED to breakup (AGAIN) in the final season let's start w their character arcs rn. el was born in a lab and was raised VERY strict to be a weapon and shit. she escapes and now her whole arc is finding herself and being who she is separate to what people tell her she is. mike comes from a lowkey conservative family with parents who are married only to fit into the normal, not because they love each other. his arc, similar to his sisters' struggle in earlier seasons, is to not fall into conformity just because you feel like you should. both of these stories line up with the main moral of the show: be who you are even if it isn't "normal" ot whatever now how does mileven go against this? mike, and a bunch of ppl around el, in the earlier seasons keeps telling el what she should do/be. even in the later seasons we see mike refering to el as a "superhero" (which she doesn't like). neither of them feel free to be themselves around the other (shown by el lying to mike and mike being WAY out of character around el, etc). mike literally can't tell el he loves her while not under pressure. mileven sometimes parallels mike's parents' and sta.cy (a failed conformity relationship) and other bad relationships ANYWAYS it also reallyyyy pains will byers (who's been canonically in love with mike for like years, and mike's best friend) to see this. also, milevens keep harassing will/mike shippers on anon even months after the last season. like they have a hate discord server just for it. anyways i love mike and el but ohhh my god there is still SO much i haven't mentioned about how bad they are together (and how bad shippers often are, sometimes being violently homophobic and calling bylers delusional and shit)

OOOH IT FUCKING SUCKS THEY ARE SOOOOOO BAD FOR EACH OTHER JESUS THEY DON'T COMMUNICATE LIKE EVER THEY ARE BOTH CLEARLY IN IT BECAUSE OF THE EXPECTATION OF A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE THEY CAN'T CONFIDE IN EACH OTHER THEY DON'T SHARE ANY INTERESTS THEY'RE HAVING CONFLICT MORE OFTEN THAN NOT THANK *GOD* I AM UTTERLY CONVINCED THEY ARE HEADING FOR A CANONICAL PERMANENT BREAKUP. NOT TO MENTION THEY ARE BOTH GAY AS HELL TO ME. YOU SEEN THAT "THIS SHIP IS SO CANON AND IT'S A LESBIAN AND A GAY MAN" TWEET? YEAH. FUCK THIS STUPID FUCKING SHIP NOT TO MENTION THE SHIPPERS ARE FREQUENTLY OPENLY HOMOPHOBIC. UGHHHHHHH KILLING BITING (this is my fave btw)

they have no chemistry or buildup unlike the other st couples. they kissed season 1 right after she asked if he would be her brother. hes very obviously compensating for something. i think i gagged when they made out in season 3. speaking of. thats all they do. make out. they dont really have meaningful conversations. this also comes from the fact that when mike met her she was fresh out the lab that abused her for like 11 years. she was not socially ready to understand the bounds of a platonic relationship let alone a romantic one. anyway mileven break up s5 will happen i believe it. if nothing else. cross ur fingers gamers

the sheer homophobia and general toxicity that the fans of this ship create is absolutely insane when their perfect (read: mischaracterized) straight (read: homosexually-coded) couple is judged for having toxic or incompatible elements is insane. the only good romantic aspect between these two characters is in a cringefail "wow this really doesn't work at all" i-want-to-put-this-dynamic-under-a-microscope-and-study-it-because-it's-an-absolute-trainwreck" kind of way. el has been abused and cut off from society her whole life and at 12 years old she immediately gets together with this guy at whose earth shattered after his best friend went missing who then has surviors guilt after she almost does which is misconstrued as romantic rather than unhealthy obsession and trauma. and so on and so forth.. there's just so much wrong they lie to each other So Fucking Much despite truthfulness being very important to them and they ignore their friends to make out (which is filmed in a way that is meant to feel uncomfortable btw lmao) and el doesn't understand mike's trauma from bullying and he doesn't understand how she doesn't want to be built up into being a superhero etc etc. and it's just so increasingly bad I want to rub my temples just thinking about them. they're just so bad for each other and their relationship has done nothing but make them worse in general but for some reason their ship is viewed as fluffy or cute or whatever the hell. anyway mike is so heavily coded to be fucking gay and in love with his best friend (and el can be interpreted to be lesbian coded) and I just need to get them out of there amen

I'm gonna make a list bc the reasons are many: 1) their first casual interaction they get together but in the same conversation she asks him if she can be like a sister to him 2) all their "cute moments" are them making out in the 3rd season with still absolutely no chemistry 3) their only actual cute scene is them dancing at the snowball yet in the same scene they portray the same way two couples that are not romantic 4) mike becomes a terrible person when he's with eleven 5) eleven literally GOT OUT OF A LAB SHE WAS RAISED IN and this is the first guy she dated 6) she can't even say he's a good kisser 7) mike can't tell her that he loves her (bc he doesn't) and the only time he does he makes this whole ugly ass speech up about how she's his "superhero" even though she doesn't want to be seen only for her superpowers 8) in said speech, while listing the things that he loves about her, he only names her superpowers + he lies multiple times 9) EVEN AFTER SAID SPEECH she is still mad at him and won't talk to him (probably bc she saw right through his bs) 10) she spent a whole 6 months lying to him about all of her life 11) mike is clearly gay and is meant to be with his childhood best friend will 12) mike idolizes her and doesn't see her as an actual person 13) eleven needs to be her own person (ffs she just got out of a lab) 14) the ship sucks and even the authors and actors say so

they have NO chemistry. they kissed after one week of knowing each other when they were 12 and eleven didn't even know what a romantic relationship was at the time, given the fact that right before mike kisses her she says "will you be like my brother?". they spent the entirety of season 2 apart with mike calling el on his walkie and el watching romantic movies on the tv for a year (then will is in trouble and mike says 'fuck it' and goes full protective boyfriend mode but this isn't about byler so i digress) and start dating soon after they meet again even though they haven't had a SINGLE conversation and are barely friends. season 3 comes along and the writers do their utmost best to show us how incompatible they are. their makeout scenes are uncomfortable, they break up at the beginning of the season and neither one of them seems particularly bothered that their first relationship is over. in fact, the happiest we see el in the entire series is during the time they're broken up, when she gets close to max (who she actually has chemistry with, by the way) and finally experiences freedom, being a teenage girl and etc since mike had been "keeping her all to himself" for like, a year. aside from that, he doesn't go after her at all after she dumps his ass (literally) but when he and will have a fight, he bikes across town in the rain just to apologize, that boy is GAY. finally, the theme of season 4 is lies and once again, mike and el spend the season apart (once again, mike spends the season with WILL) and right before they part ways, they have a big fight about mike being unable to so much as WRITE "love, mike" on his letters to el, let alone say it, and he bullshits his way through it and refuses to say the actual reason until vol. 2, when he apparently "confesses" that he's afraid he'll lose her if he says it (okay, amigo, you're gonna lose your girlfriend who was literally begging you to say 'i love you' not even a week ago, aham, totally valid excuse). conclusion: they don't know each other and they don't act like themselves when they're together. mike hides his nerdy nature, el feels like she has to be the amazing superhero he's always viewed her as or else he'll lose interest and it just feels like they're both grasping at straws because this relationship has been dragged on for too long that they don't know how to break up permanently. they are afraid of losing each other, but not romantically, as mike was el's first semblance of family after escaping the lab and mike feels like it's his duty to protect and care for el. also, mike is gay. in other words, FREE THEM.

[sparrowmoss]

okay i have more thoughts im gonna put them under a cut though because people have some very strong opinions about who is at fault after this weeks ep and i want to share my own for my own purposes but i dont want people to try to argue or fight me

this entire thing is sol’s fault. like borderline mental break unhinged moment wack behavior, sol’s fault. it is deeply deeply strange for him to have encountered two child strangers and instantly claim to become as attached as he was showing, acting and reacting very strongly to his perceived claim over osha, a STRANGER and a YOUNG CHILD, yet he could not even fucking tell her apart from mae when he saw one in the coven doorway.

indara should not have had to deal with, on top of trying to make her teenage padawan with normal teenage desires and normal teenage bitterness understand that their assignment was not a personal attack on him and would not last forever and he could eventually go home, her adult peer sol going borderline obsessive nuts over a child who was a stranger. she should have punched his fucking lights out on the ship after all that.

yes the jedi as a group should have been more respectful of the coven and clear with their intentions about making an offer to osha, should not have implied that they had any right to remove her or even test her for force sensitivity (and the whole concept of jedi taking children from their parents due to their force sensitivity is something i have potentially serious issues with depending on how much say the parents have in it and how much pressure the jedi order places on them to relinquish their children, but we haven’t really seen how that works completely clearly, so i give the limited benefit of the doubt for now), and DEFINITELY should have spoken to aniseya and the rest of her coven about mae’s “they’re going to sacrifice themselves” line (which mae misunderstood/misremembered, aniseya had said “sacrifice A PART OF ourselves” not “sacrifice ourselves” but only the audience knows that) to clarify what was actually going on.

like. almost all of the issues in this event were due to everyone assuming the worst of the people on the “opposite side”. and all of those bad faith assumptions spiraled so out of control that basically everyone died. but not sol’s unreasonable and instant attachment.

it just makes me feel so crazy that he was like, oh i feel connected to her, i’m MEANT to teach her, she’s MEANT to be my padawan, in a destiny sense, like immutable fate. and in the heat of the moment he can’t even tell that mae is mae and not osha. he cant even fucking tell them apart!!! the connection he feels is entirely made up by him in his fucking head. either that or whatever part of it is real, he is taking it and running with it and assuming that everything that happens is proof of that connection, so when mae runs out toward him he thinks it must be the one he felt connected to.

i truly have no ideas on what may have led him to instantly connect to her in such a way that he disregarded her wants and needs and safety. in a way that blinded him to the fact that that coven was still her family and still loved her. in a way that made him go for the kill on osha’s own mother for basically no fucking reason, so much so that he immediately clearly wondered “why did i do that?”

and i think indara was right, and sol was right for following her suggestion, when she said he could not go to the council and confess what he had done. to cause all of that for the self stated reason that he felt a connection to osha so strong he just had to do whatever it took, no matter the cost, to get her as his padawan. then end up getting her whole family killed and THEN leave her after that? yes he would have faced punishment that he deserved but SHE would not get the support and help that SHE deserved. i think indara was right to make the decision to hide the truth from the council. i think sol staying by osha’s side and being there for her was in osha’s best interests, as unfortunate as it is. indara couldn’t take her on because she already had a padawan, and maybe kelnacca could have but i think there would have been some nervousness on her part as she likely could not understand anything he said. it basically had to be sol or she would have suffered a lot, on top of losing her family and leaving her home and everything she knew behind to live a completely different life. sol had to lie to keep his position to be there for the person who he had caused great loss. he had to do what he could to make up for it.

and i think his guilt since that day is genuine. i do think that whatever weird intense mental break state he was in, he came out of it. i think his attachment to osha in the present timeline of the bulk of the story comes more from knowing that his actions cost her the lives of her entire family and now he is all she has left. like, the feeling that he owes her, if that makes sense. that since he caused her family’s deaths, he has to do whatever he can to make her happy and fulfilled now. and i think his line to the kids in the temple about not always trusting your eyes, comes from stuff he learned through this mistake with mae and osha.

but i still think its also fucked how little he seemed to care for jecki in this situation. he clearly doesnt feel the same protective need and care toward her as he does toward osha, even though osha left the order. he brought jecki on this mission and dragged her into the mess that he created all those years ago and got her killed and just left her body there. i do not think he would drag osha into a mess he’d created in the same way. and i know he wouldn’t leave her body!

i dont know man like i dont think sol is the most evil guy ever but i think even though he has changed and tried to do a lot to make up for his failings, not all his motivations are good even now. he really seemed to decide to tell mae his side of events for selfish reasons, for alleviation of his own guilt, not for any benefit to her.

we still have one left and i am really curious to see if his motivations are elaborated on further, what mae’s reaction to his side will be, if osha will find out the story as well before the end of the season, etc etc… so much… its hard to make any definitive judgments or assumptions when it isn’t finished. we’ll see.

[anony-mouse-writer]

“How are you doing?”

- cost of livings increasing

- everyone i know is miserable at their jobs, spanning at least 4 broad range fields (ie, retail/food service of any kind, engineering, and ‘works at computers in a capacity beyond microsoft word/excel’) largely due to managerial or company based incompetence or greed

- planets on fire and it looks like the ppl who have the power to change that dont want to cuz theyre greedy bitches

- theres like three social media platforms that arent teeny tiny and theyre all shit and actively getting worse in ways that are profoundly effecting and blindingly stupid

- multiple fights in the past half decade trying to convince people that my job is not something a computer should have

- the same people who tell me that my work is very good and i should monetize it (i am thanks) think that computer work is either just a fad that will pass soon or the just something i should accept and do not see how these conflicting messages might be frustrating

- theres a globally televised genocide happening and like half the ppl who are supposed to stop that are funding it

- KOSA and other internet censorship laws continue to get closer to passing

- “woke” is increasingly synonymous with “anyone who has basic human decency” according to several major governmentally active political parties

- casual and “just common sense” transphobia is now at an all time high as terfs are told that outright killing trans kids is frowned upon and they should try bullying instead

- food prices are so high but i have to eat

- increased social pressure to shun anyone who isn’t spending all their energy being loudly upset at the above issues and/or dying due to the above issues

- companies have more rights than we do and the government would save them first in a crisis. this is “normal” and “fine” and giving a fuck about it is also “woke liberal shit”

- our best hope for a new shitty fire hazard apartment building going up is that the rich bitches everyone hates for building their houses in ‘thats gonna fall down dumbass’’ zones decide to fight for their ‘view’

- pandemics still happening. they dont even stock masks at stores consistently anymore

- my landlord still hasnt responded to our request to fix the flickering kitchen light we have been told we are Not Allowed to try fixing ourselves

- kids are increasingly fucked over by a system that was already failing and is now failing worse due to covid-related fuck ups

- school districts are pushing to graduate kids on time despite the Actual Fucking Plague these kids had to live thru

- speaking of, kids are apparently largely not taught basic computer literacy because they can just teach apps instead

- or any kind of internet safety oh my god. i have had to personally teach every child ive met for the past two years under the age of 15 to not to tell strangers online their full government legal names. i was on roblox for 30 seconds and watched two separate children half dox themselves

- its february and i kinda miss the sun

“I’m doin’, thanks! Hope spring comes sooner than later tho haha.”

[dojae-huh]

I really get overwhelmed by something that I saw on tl today...i guess an au writer, dont knw just saw the post..was asking suggestions for their fic about cheating...like is it okay to cheat someone for being with his true love or smthng..the matter is cheating here..

Does that mean whoever read that fic enjoyed the cheating? Nd if they enjoyed it who should we actually blame it on...the reader or the writer?

Just like what happens in ty's matter...I have seen lot au nd fanfics authors criticized him that if he read it that means he enjoyed evry word that written on it...they should sit nd think where do they stand when they write something like this..even if u think it's a minor sin, that doesnt matter...the point is when u write something gore, isnt that just to aware ppl there is lot of similar things happening in the world,nd u should knw these things through these stories...nd dont make prejudice that ppl actually enjoying it nd they r bad...when u persue literature in a good way u should feel nd think it in the same way too....

Tbh, I want to convey what's on my mind in a lot clearer way..but lang is a big wall to write...if u get the point that's it...I just want to share it with u...thanku

It depends. If a radio host spreads propaganda and urges to kill other people, he is up to a trial. He spreads dangerous ideas, brainwashes people with lies and installs hatred. If a reader of Crime and Punishment takes an axe and goes and kills a woman, the author is not to blame, he only explored human nature and contemplated about guilt.

If a story describes how justifiable cheating is, how wonderful is the experience, how it can be a test to the relationship and "true love" because "if he/she really loves you, you'll be forgiven", the author is partially to blame. Partially because in the end it was the reader who read the story till the end and made the decision to cheat, who acted in the real world. The author just played the devil and used the right for free speech.

As a rule, fanfiction is not a propaganda media, it is low class literature for fun to spend the time and get distracted from everyday life and chores. The author' only responsibility is to provide correct tags and warnigns, to make the reader aware of what is inside their story for an informed choice. Everything else is on the reader.

What people consume, what stories they read, what scenarios they fantasize about often have little ties to reality. You can't judge a person's real character on what he/she reads or what video games he/she plays. Like take the horror movie genre for example. People who watch it want a little bit of thrill, a scare to satisfy the primitive part of our brains that evolved to look out for predators and find joy in escaping danger (people feel more alive going through hardships or danger). Those people (most of them at least, can't vouch for sociopaths and mass murderers) don't watch the horror movies to enjoy teen girls being brutally killed or kids being devoured by aliens.

Stranger things is also a series about the charm of 80-s, friendship and family. Deaths, experiments on kids and maiming by creatures is in the plot as a story-telling tool designed to bring the best out of the protagonists, not to treat viewers with gore.

Back to cheating. Many people feel bored with their daily life, so they want some "spice". This makes them look for stories with "not vanilla"/"forbidden" themes. It's because they didn't experience the thing in real life which makes them be able to read about it. Even gang rape is a kink.

It is well known that once a couple gets together in a tv-series, it becomes dead. Writers know how to write romance, but not married couple interestingly. Same could be the case with "true love". So they live happily ever after, and what can one write about them? Kids and domestic fluff, or "trouble in paradise" - cheating and break up. If fanfic writers were as smart and creative as they like to think of themselves, they'd be earning acclaimed authors with prizes in literature.

There is a mangaka Hiroaki Samura. He likes gore. He incorporates it in his mainstream series, he also draws niche artbooks and short-stories with nude and very graphically tortured women. You can be narrow-minded and prejusticed and jump to a conclusion that he needs to be cancelled. In reality, he is one of the rare authors who writes women as real characters, who does the "strong woman" trope correctly. He also has great sense of humour, he brings all his characters to life. And I have a suspicion that his oneshot about orphaned women being gang raped was an attempt to digest the history of "war brides", something that Japanese try to pretend never happened. Hiroaki doesn't give interviews with deep self-exploration for me to know why he is into gore, but I can see whatever it is (dealing with trauma, artistic exploration of human sins, whatever) it doesn't make him a "bad human" with "bad influence". On the contrary, I'd like Japan to offer more authors like him.

Showing violence can be a way to teach about compassion or serve as a warning. Like the old fairytales were Cinderella sisters' toes were actually cut off or sibings burned a witch alive.

The art of drawing is especially detached from reality. Even though the brain matches the drawn objects to the real ones, without smell and sound, 3D-ness and other information signals of "the real world", the drawn things stay unreal. A drawing of a dead person can be considered beautiful art (Ophelia). It certainly wasn't meant to evoke those realistic feelings of disgust and fear that a real smelling, bloated and floating in water corpse will do. And the painters who decided to make their own version of the famous scene certainly weren't into dead women as sexual objects.

I think Tae being dragged into that manga controvesry in the end will bring him new fans, lol. He is too anime looking to not pick up anime folks' interest.

[my-lunaberg]

I think it's a bit naive to say messaging doesn't matter with something with a big of an audience as the dsmp, if a story with a Big following ends up with "actually the abuser was right and deserved an apology" I think it's not. Good.

To start off, Im assuming youre here from my more c!Tommy-centric analysis where I only briefly referenced another post of mine at the start, since thats the one that just gained an influx of notes, here is that post so you can read about my thoughts in more detail before we proceed

Now, the way you phrase that does make it sounds awful, however I hope you dont mind if I just keep watching and then give you my thoughts after I watched the finale myself. I dont mean to make it sound like I dont trust you, random stranger on the internet, but I know exactly how A Certain Brand Of Fandom People react to antagonistic characters and how those people also tend to make certain things they disliked out to be much worse than they actually were because theyre upset. Which is fine, Im not trying to say that anyone who was upset by the ending on a personal, emotional level is wrong or anything because that would be shitty and honestly just ridiculous lol

So yeah, I'll do my best to save my thoughts until Ive actually watched the finale and youre just gonna have to be a bit patient until then I guess

I do want to address the point about it being bad specifically because it has a big audience because I respectfully disagree and just think its kinda silly tbh. Im a pretty big fan of the Black Butler franchise, for the sake of this discussion I'll only focus on the first season of the anime (which was clearly originally conceptualized as the only season). If you asked me to tell you what the message of Black Butler, the first season of the anime was, I would say its "You should kill yourself! You should have exactly one (1) goal in life and you should try and achieve as soon as possible and the second youve achieved it, you should just die". However, Black Butler is a piece of media for teens at the very least and if youve read the post I linked (which I trust you have, because I trust that you are trying to have an honest discussion with me here) then you should know my thoughts about "messages" in for-teens-and-above media and you can basically just insert them here. It doesnt matter if it was popular and ended up "spreading a harmful message" to a large audience because that audience was trusted to recognize that the protagonist is by no means an aspirational figure, but a tragic one. No one would kill themselves just because a popular anime romanticized suicide in a round about way, if they did something as serious as killing themselves there were already underlying issues. If someone feels the need to apologize to their abusers, there are underlying issues, the minecraft roleplay isnt going to effect them that much. And just like Ciel, the protagonist of Black Butler, is clearly not an aspirational figure and the creators trust the audience to recognize that, Tommy, the severely traumatized guy with bad self esteem issues who consistantly forgave the people who treated him like shit and felt bad for 'betraying' the guy who ended up blowing up his home down to bedrock, is clearly not an aspirational figure either and the creators trust their audience to recognize that as well

Thanks for reading, I hope I explained myself well

[babygirlsthoughtsexactly]

To her..

girl... how my heart breaks for you.. If you ever make it out (and I pray you do) there will come a day that you will look back and know that you are worth so much more and yes you deserve more. Actually, I truly believe that people deserve the exact same love that they give. Arguments are fine, actually disagreements are to be expected in any relationship in your life because they are natural. Every single persion is different and we all have different opinions but IT IS NO FUCKING OKAY FOR ANYONE TO USE TOOLS H AS TERROR OR ACTUAL HARM for the sake of an argument. Its possible, because in my heart I have been to places that \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ o\ne should have to be and I still wasnt violent. That behavior is NOT OKAY But really I wish I could say so much to you because I have been you. I was recently in a situation(and even though I can see so many similarities, there are always two sides to a story and the truth probably lies in the third party or God) similar to yours and every single day I wondered if that was going to be the day because I knew in my heart that if I stayed in that situation that I was going to die (either he would kill me or I would kill myself) ((and sorry to be so brutally honest but if there is one thing that you should know about me its im !00%real.. Id rather hurt your feelings then lie to your face ) but little by little I had let my feelings of self worth become so low that still to this day I can't face the things I have done. Looking back all of it was done just to feel something in return .. anything. and for what?!! ha I probably would have committed actual fucking horrendous acts if he would have commanded. See now I know that the word for that is SICK. I have and in so many ways still are SICK. Just a few KEY points that have crossed my mind today that I wish I could tell you..

1. You are Loved. My mom used to tell me this. Im really the first addict in my family and I have been blessed by one fucking amazing mother who I know I dont deserve sometimes and I pray that i one day will grow to be for my own kids. it is important to know this when it feels like your alone, and if nothing else YOUR BABIES ( #?) will ALWAYS LOVE YOU!43

2. LOVE SHOULD ALWAYS HAVE CIONDITIONS. While in my past situation( you will probably hear me refer to this as my PAST life which I still pray that I dont end up back in) I use tio think that love that love should always be unconditional, but it's not true at all. Yes, we definitely should always love people where they are at, BUT NOT EVERYONE WE LOVE DESERVES RECIPROCATION FROM US. Actually I have learned that in your situation (and my past) that the one who we are loving unconditionally is not even capable of the same love. Yeah, you are right (cause I know youre probably making some type of excuse for him by now.. at least in your mind) but hands down this individual is just FUCKING SICK. They know that they don't deserve the things or the people that they have so they show their appreciation by treating the people who love them like absolute trash while treating and going absolutely out of their way just to treat some random stranger like Royalty!! What you have to be able to do in order to see the whole box is remember.. a narcissist only cares about themselves so everything that they are doing is purely SELF MOTIVATED. SEE... SICK. I have though about making a list of conditions that I will require of any person in my life and it would definitely start with something like..A. Here is what I expect from you and this relationship (including RESPECT) or I choose (and I know that even though you feel like you don't sometimes) not to include to have you as an active part of my life. Whew, imagine all the heartache, tears and WASTED TIME you have could have saved if you had told yourself this before you fell for all the lies you feel stupid for believing.

3. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT THAT YOU FELL FOR IT.. There is a really young artist Avery Anna, shes a narcissistic abuse survivor such as my self and these are the words in some of her lyrics. If you sit back and think about it the truth is we are probably are just used to taking all the blame.. all the time. Everybody plays a part in some way sometimes, that's logic.

Okay well to be honest I need a break to deal with life on life's terms so to be continued later hopefully.

Mood rn: Disappointed. In myself and in life 😔

[yourmidnightlover]

all my fault

Request: spencer and y/n are married, and they’ve been trying to have kids, and then she finds out she’s pregnant. a few weeks into the pregnancy, she has a miscarriage, and at the hospital the doctor said it’s bc she had an abortion as a teenager, and it fucked up her it yet us. spencer didn’t know she had an abortion, and blames her for the death of the baby, and they end up sleeping separately for a while and they have to grieve by themselves. spencer ends up talking to emily about it bc of her experience and it has a comforting ending!

Summary: when reader has a miscarriage after trying to have a baby with spencer, and things about her past are revealed and leaves things rocky within their relationship.

CW: miscarriage, pregnancy, mention of abortion, spencer’s rly harsh at first, teenage pregnancy, mentions of surgery, a cervix condition that i kinda made up, depressive thoughts, negative self-worth, HAPPY ENDING. *please let me know if i’ve missed anything*

A/N: i’ve been working on coming up with a series, which i posted last thursday! i’m sorry i haven’t been as consistent with my schedule, this summer has really taken a toll on my mental health and school is about to start back up. i promise i’m not quitting writing, but my writing might become a bit more sporadic in terms of my posting schedule. i’m still not sure if i like how i’ve executed this piece, so please let me know what you think!

IMPORTANT A/N: this contains serious topics centered around pregnancy and abortion. reader end up blaming herself and it is a very triggering subject to some. if you aren’t comfortable with those kinds of depressive thoughts PLEASE DONT READ. i don’t want anyone to be triggered by my writing. your mental health matters. you matter. do not read if your sensitive to the subject matter, please!

———————————————————————

when you and spencer checked the third pregnancy test and saw those two, very clear lines on the stick, you felt an unbelievable amount of joy.

“oh my god,” you clamped your hand over your mouth, your eyes welling with tears.

“y/n…” he held his breath, holding your free hand with both of his own.

“you’re gonna be a dad,” you huffed out a laugh as his arms flew around you.

“and you’re gonna be a mom! we’re gonna have our own little family,” he cheered as he breathed in your scent, elated from the news he had hoped for since you said ‘i do.’

spencer had wanted to be a father since he met henry, you remember how attached he was to the child who wasn’t even his own. you hadn’t always wanted children, only when you were absolutely ready for them. now, you were more than ready.

your arms flew around spencer’s neck as his went around your waist. he dropped to his knees and began pressing kisses against a bump that wasn’t even visible yet, praising you and your body for carrying his child.

because it was so hard for you to get pregnant, spencer decided to baby you every chance he got. you didn’t do the dishes or sweep, you weren’t allowed to reach for high shelves or even step on a chair to do so. he was worried about you and the baby, so you let him. you found it endearing.

the perfect man that you married was so worried about the little bean inside of you, worried for your safety, that it drove him a bit mad. who were you to complain? each time he’d do one of the new little quirks like not letting you lift anything above 10 pounds, you just smiled to yourself and brushed it off.

being pregnant was something that you had lost hope for, in all honesty. spencer had been talking to a few friends who had adopted children prior to finding out you were pregnant. if this hadn’t worked out, the two of you were going to look into adoption.

spencer had planned your doctors appointment for 6 weeks after your last period. the appointment was in three days. and then the perfect outline you had for your future went down in crumbles.

you had been having pains in your lower abdomen, and you figured it was just because you were pregnant. you went to the bathroom like you normally would when you felt queasy, kneeling by the toilet in preparation for what was to come. only nothing came.

you decided to just go pee and get back to bed. there was a pain that wasn’t like you’d felt before when you were peeing, like someone had been pulling your intestines out of your body. when you looked down, you felt your stomach drop.

“spencer!” you cried out. “spencer, hurry!” you felt tears well in your eyes until he ran up beside you. his hand was on your thigh as the other one was trying to steady your shaking hand.

“what is… oh,” he looked in the toilet to see blood inside of it.

“spencer… what happened? i don’t know what happened. everything was doing so well and the baby-we just found out and now they’re-wh-what’s gonna happen?” you rambled out, unsure of how something this horrific happened so quickly.

“i-i don’t know, my love,” he pressed a kiss to your forehead. “i don’t know. but we’ll go to the hospital right now, okay? we’ll get answers.”

you just nodded. you couldn’t speak anymore. you felt your throat closing in on yourself. you cleaned yourself up and got dressed. even looking in the mirror with spencer’s arms around you, you didn’t feel anything but guilt and worry.

spencer’s touch would usually be something to ease your mind and take away the thoughts of everything else around you. only this was something wrong inside of you. you were the problem this time. and you didn’t think anything could fix this feeling.

“let’s get to the hospital, yea?” you nodded as he held onto your hand, trying to ground you to himself as he guided you to the car.

you were silent the entire drive to the doctor. there was nothing to say. there was nothing to do. there was just… nothing. you were numb.

“hey,” he spoke up, “we don’t know what happened yet. there’s a chance it’s just a fluke, right? the baby might be okay.”

“what’re the statistics, spencer? tell them to me,” you ordered as tears flowed from your eyes.

“y/n…”

“tell me! why don’t you want me to know?!” you accused him, looking over at the man driving as he but his lower lip. “1 in 4 women who experience bleeding during a pregnancy are fine. 25 percent. the other 75 percent of people have either a miscarriage or serious complications. those are the statistics.”

“y/n…” he sighed, “it’s not your fault. you didn’t want this to happen. besides, there’s still a 25 percent chance that nothings wrong.”

“whatever,” you rolled your eyes and opted to look out of the window for the remainder of the drive to the hospital.

-

“alright,” the doctor entered the room. “we have the results from the test and we’ve examined the ultrasound pictures. i’m so sorry, but you’ve had a miscarriage.”

what were you supposed to feel? an overwhelming sense of sorrow? like a failure? like the one thing you wanted most in the world fell through?

“how-how did this happen?” you spoke through the tears. “we were so-we were careful. i didn’t lift heavy objects, i didn’t do repetitive motions, i just… we tried so hard to make this work,” you shook your head in disapproval, as if you wouldn’t accept the answer that had already been proven to you.

“there’s proof of an abortion when you were a teenager. there was severe damage done to your cervix that wasn’t assessed pre-pregnancy. now, we can repair the damage within the next two months, but it will still be difficult to become pregnant after the surgery,” the female informed you.

“then what’s the point of getting the surgery?” you scoffed, looking at spencer who was just staring off in space.

“while getting pregnant will still be difficult, maintaining the pregnancy is much more likely. the fetus would be more protected and secure after the surgery,” she explained with a pitiful smile, you couldn’t help but wonder how she could smile after giving you the worst news of your life.

“right,” you nodded curtly, allowing her to sense the mood of the conversation.

“i’ll leave you two be. i’m so sorry for your loss,” she gave the both of you a pitiful smile before exiting the room, the only sound audible being the closing of the door.

it didn’t feel real. it felt as though you were in a nightmare. only this time, you wouldn’t wake in spencer’s comforting arms. you wouldn’t hear the soft soothing voice of the man you love trying to calm you down. you wouldn’t feel the solace he would provide by merely being himself in your proximity.

the drive home was eerily quiet. there was an inkling of animosity between you. looking over at spencer in the driver’s seat, he had a dead look on his face, the only sign of previous emotion being his red-rimmed eyes and tear-stained cheeks. he didn’t even look like your spencer. he looked like a stranger in the drivers seat with a cold expression that you could barely read.

you knew this was something you should talk about. when the nurse came back in the room it was only to offer a few referrals go therapists that specialized in this kind of grief. clearly, any couple should talk about losing an unborn baby. but you knew that’s not what spencer was truly upset about.

you waited until you shut the door to your apartment before saying anything.

“maybe we should talk about it?” you whispered, not knowing how he’d react.

“about what? the fact that you’ve lied to me for our entire relationship?!” he wouldn’t even turn around to face you. “i thought we were in this together, y/n. we aren’t supposed to keep secrets from each other - especially not any that just killed our child!”

“hey…” you winced at his words. “why would you say that?”

“that’s the truth! your choices when you were a teenager just killed our child! my child!” he finally turned to face you, and you wished he hadn’t.

“do you think i knew they would botch my abortion, spencer?! do you think that’s what i wanted?!” you stepped closer to him, he sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“i don’t know what you want anymore, y/n,” he shook his head, clearly exasperated.

“i want you. i want to get the surgery to fix my cervix. i want to grieve our child. i still want kids… with you, spencer,” you tried to ease the mood, calm him down. you reached your hand out to cup his cheek before he dodged your touch, afraid of touching you. “but you don’t want that?” you whispered so quiet, too afraid of the answer to raise your voice.

“i-“ he sighed and bit his lower lip. “i don’t know.”

“right. of course you don’t,” you shook your head before sitting on the couch, dropping your face in your hands.

“what’s that supposed to mean?” he scoffed as he took off his coat.

“it means that: of course, you’re making this about you! it can’t be about us grieving our loss together like the doctor recommended?!” you peeked between your hands at the man you still didn’t recognize.

“maybe we shouldn’t grieve together since we can’t even have a conversation without getting angry at one another,” he tried to reason.

“the only reason i’m getting mad is because you’re blaming me for my baby’s death,” you spat back at the doctor before you.

“because it’s your fault!” he stood strong in his belief. “when you were a teenager, did you or did you not have an abortion?”

“i did,” you admitted.

“and the nurse said that in said abortion, they screwed your cervix up! if you didn’t have that abortion, our child would still be alive! we would be on our way to become happy parents!” he accused, rubbing salt in the already stinging wound. “it’s your fucking fault!”

“stop saying that,” you shook your head and dropped it back in your hands, trying to hide the tears that began to flow down your face.

“it is, y/n! i can’t believe you’re even trying to say this isn’t!” he chuckled, clearly getting under your skin.

“shut up, spencer!”

“i can’t, y/n!” he sat in the chair across from you before standing back up, too hyper to sit. “no wonder it was so hard for you to get pregnant.”

“spencer,” you begged him to stop, meeting his face with your teary eyes.

“y/n,” he stared you in the eyes, and you saw a glimpse of the man you loved for a second before he retreated to the bedroom.

you sat on the couch in confusion of what had just occurred.

when you were 15, you’re boyfriend was adamant about taking your relationship “to the next step.” you didn’t think you were ready to have sex, but you wanted him to stay with you. so, you gave in. it just so happened to be that you were one of the lucky girls that ends up getting pregnant her first time in spite of birth control and a condom. you couldn’t tell your mom about your pregnancy, she’d have your head on a pole.

so, you earned enough money from your job to get an abortion yourself. you went to a clinic and had your boyfriend’s mom come with you to sign as your guardian. was it smart to get an abortion that cheap? probably not. but you had no other choice. your mom had made it abundantly clear that if she caught you fooling around with him that she’d kick you out.

you were 15. you were young and still had to finish high school. there was no support system for you. you would’ve been on the streets with a little baby - not to mention the amount of debt you’d go into for just giving birth to a child in a hospital. it was the only choice.

and now you were being berated for making the only choice you even had - and by the person you loved most in the world.

you curled into yourself on the couch, laying your head on the arm and crying into the fabric. you released all of the tension and turmoil. you held onto the cushions as if it were the man that you wanted - no, needed to comfort you. because as much as you’d hate to admit it and try to fight those thoughts, part of you thought that spencer was right. it was your fault.

you fell asleep on the couch that night. you didn’t have the strength to get up to grab a blanket so you just sucked it up.

spencer didn’t sleep at all. he was used to having you curled into his chest, or himself on yours. he felt terrible about how he had talked to you, but he was too stubborn to admit anything just yet.

in the middle of the night he went out of the room to grab a glass of water. he saw you curled up in a ball, you head resting on the arm of the couch as you slept. it was the most peaceful you looked in the past 24 hours. but you began shivering as you slept. you were probably too exhausted to get up to do anything.

he went to the hall closet on a detour and grabbed your favorite, soft blanket and laid it on top of your body. after placing a soft kiss on your forehead, he went into the kitchen and made his glass of water before taking one more glance at you. you had snuggled into the blanket, pulling it up to your chin with a gentle smile that always appeared when he kissed your forehead as you slept.

maybe he didn’t screw up too badly, after all.

the next few days were spent avoiding one another. spencer couldn’t face you after knowing you had kept something so dire from him for the entirety of your relationship. you couldn’t face him after he made you feel as though it was your fault you lost your baby.

you would stay on the couch all day, barely eating or drinking anything while spencer would go out - only mentioning the library or the office to do more paperwork. eventually he just started sleeping at morgan’s house - probably because he couldn’t stand being around you.

you didn’t know how to grieve your baby, you were hoping that spencer might help, but that clearly won’t be happening. on top of that, you were worrying about your marriage. he couldn’t even look at you, how was he supposed to talk to you and sleep beside you?

a lot of times, it’s perceived that the only reason women were put on this planet were to have children - of course that’s a false notion, but it didn’t make it sting any less. your body had betrayed you. you had betrayed yourself.

it was only 12 days after spencer left when he came back home, if he could call it that anymore. once he walked into the living room, he saw you curled up in that same position on the couch. you had a blank stare that was directed towards the black tv. the only evidence that you were doing something was the empty water bottles surrounding you - certainly not enough considering he’d been gone for over a week.

when he entered you didn’t even flinch. your gaze stayed on the empty screen and your face remained vacant of any emotion.

in all honesty, morgan was the one to tell spencer he should check on you. spencer hadn’t told him everything about your argument, he knew he was in the wrong. but he was just so angry. regardless, he was here now, and it’s a good thing he was.

you hadn’t been taking care of yourself. spencer had morgan and savannah checking on him, but you had nobody. he only realized this when morgan pointed it out. and as upset as he was, spencer would always love you. your expressionless face only worried him more. your clothes had been changed from when he last saw you, but he doubts you’ve had a shower.

he stayed silent as he began picking up the empty water bottles from around the table and couch. you looked at him quizzically with furrowed brows.

“what’re you doing?” you asked, your chin already quivering as tears threatened to stream down your face.

“i’m trying to help,” he whispered as sensitively as he could, making eye contact with the most pitiful face you’d ever seen.

“i think you’ve helped enough,” you rolled your eyes before resuming your serious stare-down with the television. “you can leave.”

“no, i can’t,” he replied, sitting down on the opposite end of the couch while being sure not to touch you - he didn’t know if you were ready for that.

“you already did,” you brought to his attention, briefly looking at him. “just go.”

“y/n, i-“

“i don’t want to hear it! what’re you gonna say that could make me feel worse, spencer?!” you let the tears fall past your waterline. “i know it’s my fault. i know i screwed up! and i’m sorry! i’m so sorry!” you replied with far too much sincerity, the tears streaming down your face before he scooted closer to you, planning on wrapping his arms around you. “stop! don’t come near me!” you pushed his shoulders away. “it’s my fault,” you lowered your voice significantly before wrapping your arms around yourself.

he had called emily as soon as he got back into the bedroom. he knew she had previously had an abortion when she was a teenager, and he just needed to hear her side of it. part of him didn’t even expect her to pick up the phone.

“reid, what’s wrong?” she immediately answered.

“i-i think i need to talk to you,” he whispered in a hushed tone.

“right now?” she asked in a mildly concerned tone.

“if you can? the sooner the better,” he answered honestly.

“alright. you want to meet somewhere or just come over?”

“can i just come over? it’s really personal and i wasn’t sure who else to go to,” he began tying his shoes and hoping she’d agree.

“of course, come on over,” she replied in a worried voice.

“ok. i’ll be there in twenty.”

he quietly left the apartment, not before sparing you a regretful glance. he lost his child, but you also lost your child as well. he just couldn’t control his anger. and partially, he thought he was right.

how could you not have told him about something so serious? the second you had began having issues getting pregnant, maybe you should’ve been open about previous pregnancies.

“hey,” emily greeted before giving him a hug after seeing his teary eyes. “come inside.”

“thanks,” he sniffled before stepping into her apartment.

she guided him into her living room and sat down on the couch beside him. they sat there for a few silent minutes before he was able to work up enough courage.

“y/n was pregnant,” he whispered, barely audible if she weren’t right beside him.

“was,” she pointed out, already feeling as though she knew the rest of the story.

“she uhm-she miscarried two weeks ago,” he somberly admitted for the first time to someone else. “the doctor said it was because she had an abortion when she was a teenager that somehow ruined her cervix.”

“and that’s why you felt like you needed to talk to me?” she gathered, she was a great profiler for a reason but this was far more obvious.

“i was pretty harsh. i-i told her it was her fault,” he bit his lower lip as he grimaced. “i really rubbed it in, too.”

“spencer… “ she sighed, taking a deep breath before continuing. “you’re mourning a life, right now. obviously, that would raise tensions and emotions would be heightened. but… have you apologized? for telling her it was her fault?”

“no?” he replied after thinking about it. “i was going to do that today but she’s… she’s not in good shape. i’m not saying she needs to be perfect, but while i was at derek’s i can tell she didn’t take care of herself. she barely drank any water.”

“did you ask her why she had an abortion? why she didn’t tell you? did you ask her anything about how she’s feeling?” emily asked once more.

“no,” he cowered down, feeling even worse about the truthful answer. “i was just… selfish. i didn’t think about how she’s feeling. i just-i feel so bad now, seeing what state she’s in.”

“when i got an abortion it was because i wasn’t ready for a child,” she began to inform him. “i was a child, myself. how was a child supposed to take care of another one? my mother would’ve been disgraced. i basically had nobody there for me. i kept it a secret because having an abortion is so controversial. i knew people would look at me differently for making a responsible decision for my future.”

“god, i feel so bad,” he began to tear up himself. “i love her so much and i told her these horrible things.”

“make it right, spencer,” she gave him a supportive smile and pat his thigh before he stood up.

“i-i have to go,” he wiped the tears from his face before giving emily a hug, grateful she would listen to him at such an ungodly hour.

he quickly drove back home, where he decidedly belonged in the first place. he never should’ve left home. he never should’ve left you. you were his home, and he didn’t know how he could possibly lose sight of that.

“y/n,” he cooed as he entered the apartment once more. it was noticeably a bit more clean. the trash was taken out, the dishes were done, and your hair was wet from a shower - he assumed. “hey,” he smiled when he saw you sitting on the bed, cheeks still red and tear-stained with red, puffy eyes.

“hi,” you sighed as you brushed your hair, spencer sat down beside you.

“how’re you feeling?” you shrugged. “i need to apologize to you,” he admitted, placing a hand on your thigh. “i’m so, so sorry for what i said. telling you that it’s your fault that we lost our child… i-there’s no excuse. i was clearly upset, but so were you. what i said was so out of line, and i’ll never be able to express how sorry i am to you.”

“you’re right,” you shrugged. “it was my fault.”

“no,” he rubbed his thumb on your skin. “it was not your fault. i’m so sorry i made you believe that.”

“when i was 15 my boyfriend at the time pressured me to have sex. we used a condom and i was in birth control but i still-i still ended up pregnant,” you began, taking a deep breath before continuing. “i couldn’t tell my mom because she would’ve kicked me out, so i saved up some money and had his mom take me to a cheap clinic. she signed as my mom and i got the procedure done. that was the end of it,” you finished tears streaming down your face. “a few weeks after the procedure i started having pains in like my lower back, but i didn’t think anything of it. so… it is my fault. i shouldn’t have gone to a cheap clinic, but i couldn’t live on the streets with a baby and no way to clothe or feed them.”

“y/n,” he got your attention, wiping the tears from your cheeks. “you were a teenager who had no other choice, love. it’s not your fault, it’s the clinic’s.”

“i just… it hurts so bad, spencer,” you shook your head in defeat before he wrapped his arms around you. “not even just emotionally, my body physically hurts so bad. i don’t know what to do and i thought i lost you and i didn’t know what i would do without you because i didn’t think you loved me anymore because it’s my fault,” you ranted out, sobbing into his shoulder before he moved the two of you around the bed to lay down, you on his chest.

“i’m so sorry you had to go through that, and that you’re still dealing with the repercussions,” he pressed a kiss to your forehead. “but know that i’m not leaving you. i love you and nothing will ever change that.”

“there’s nothing we can do now,” you whined, clutching to his shirt as if he’d disappear once more.

“we can go to the recommended therapy. we can get that surgery to fix your cervix,” he reminded you, rubbing circles onto your back as you sniffled. “then, if you’d like, we could try again for a baby.”

“so you still want to be with me?” you whispered by his ear, clearly worried of the answer.

“of course i do,” he said as if there were no other option; there wasn’t. “i’m so, so sorry, love.”

“the reason i didn’t tell you is because,” you sighed as you shuffled on top of spencer, now sitting on his lap and facing him. “because there’s this stigma that comes with having an abortion - and i didn’t know how you’d react. i also didn’t know it didn’t go well in the first place, but that’s a different story,” you chuckled. “i’m sorry. i should’ve told you about something so serious.”

“you don’t have to apologize,” he brushed a strand of hair from your face. “that was from your past. this is our future, we shouldn’t get caught up on it and allow it to ruin this.”

you nodded, “you’re right. are-are you staying here, now? or are you going back to derek’s?” there was an obvious look of hope in your eye that spencer never planned on squashing.

“i’m staying here,” he smiled. “home. you’re my home.”

“you’re so cheesy,” you rolled your eyes as a laugh left your lips.

“i’ve missed your smile,” he pressed a kiss to those very lips, your smile not going away but growing even bigger.

“i’ve missed you,” you pointed at his chest. “please don’t leave again.”

“i won’t. ever again,” you held your pinky out, he smiled and wrapped his own around it. “i’m so sorry.”

“we’ll work at it,” you sighed. “we’ll build back the trust and fix my stupid cervix and then maybe try again for a baby.”

over the next few months spencer and you had been going to therapy once a week, mourning the loss of your baby and working through your other issues.

five months after you found out about the miscarriage, you had the surgery to fix your cervix.

one year after you fixed your cervix you and spencer began talking about having a child. you were extremely nervous, rightfully so. you voiced your concerns to spencer about what if the surgery didn’t work? what if your cervix wasn’t the only issue? and he replied by reminding you that you would both take this one step at a time.

seven months after having the conversation with spencer about having children, a miracle had caught up to you.

you were pregnant.

taglist:

@averyhotchner

@greenprisca

@muffin-cup

@spenxerslut

@spencerreid9

@spencyreidpls

@spencerreid9

@spencersmagic

@calm-and-doctor

@the-local-pendeja

@spencersrose

@spencersmagic

@shemarmooresfedora

@pastelbabygirl19

if you’d like to be added to the taglist, please don’t hesitate to message me or leave a comment!

[house-of-slayterr]

I Need a Vacation Pt. 4: Daylight Rings

Tag List: @vechkinfan @dickspaghettii @yor72 @thelostboyswife @panickinanakin1 @slashers-and-witchcraft

David's POV:

We followed Y/N's so-called "best friend" into town, to a hotel on the edge of town. I could tell Marko was uneasy around the stranger, chewing on his thumb the whole way there. Something he only did if he was anxious, or horny, and I was sure he wasn't the latter. Dwayne looked impassive, as usual, and Paul wouldn't shut the hell up the whole way there. We ducked into the hotel room and quickly drew the curtains. I didn't like being in a confined location with a stranger like this. But Y/N said she trusted him.

"What are we doing here?" Dwayne was the first to speak up.

"My friend, I can convince her to make you all daylight rings, so you can walk in the sun. She just needs to gather the supplies first."

"But, we dont have time- Y/N is hurting."

"And she'll be fine, she's gone through this plenty of times, it gets easier."

I could tell he was lying, he didn't even believe himself. He pulled out his phone, presumably texting this friend of his, I locked eyes with Paul, begging him to stop pacing. Marko heard my thoughts, and pulled him into a bear hug, sitting him on his lap.

"He does anything, we kill him and get out of here," Dwyane spoke through our bond.

"I wonder what it feels like," Marko asked.

"To be in the sun?" Dwayne responded.

"No, to be bit, would we hurt as much as she does? Would it be quick?"

Quite a profound thought from Marko, but I was curious too. Turning wasn't all that bad, from what I remember. But her's, it gave me goosebumps. Something about watching her write in pain made my head spin, and not in a good way.

"Yo, ask them to stop doing whatever they're doing, it's creepy." A male voice said.

A blonde and a shorter brunette walked in, I hadn't heard them enter due to the loudness of Paul and Marko's thoughts.

"Dude." The brunette chastised.

They were human, that much was obvious, I could hear the brunette's heart skip a beat when he looked at me. Not scared, just uncertain. The blonde carried himself like someone who could die any minute.

"Bonnie's contemplating."

"She'll come through, this is Y/N we're talking about."

"She almost let Caroline burn, and then literally set her on fire." The blonde stated, casually.

"Your friend set your other friend on fire, gnarly," Paul said.

I could tell his interest was peaked by these humans, they were bad-looking per se, just not my type. Paul didn't really have standards, which is why we try to steer him toward better prey.

"She'll come through, Matt. You know she hates seeing Y/N in pain just as much as the rest of us, if this will make her happy, Bonnie will do it."

He seemed annoyed, I was starting to like this Stefan.

"She found a place that sells the stones, three just loose but as long as they keep them on their body somewhere, it should still work."

"Should?" I asked.

"You can get the jewellery configured later. Despite the term "daylight ring" it doesn't have to be an actual ring. Just something you keep on at all times."

"You seem to know your stuff." "Yeah, well my girlfriend is a witch, I kinda have to. And she's coming to save your asses, so be grateful."

He had some fire to him, interesting.

"Is she hot?" Marko asked.

I see they were trying to distract themselves from the situation at hand. The boy scoffed.

"Where the hell did you find them again?" The blonde asked.

"Y/N has an attachment to them, she never gets attached to anyone... I'm not going to question it. I'd be a shitty best friend if I judge her for her dating choices when she never judged me for mine."

Another ding from his phone.

"Alright, she'll be here soon."

Another.

"And Elena wants you to text her Stefan." He sighed out the last part.

Dwayne watched the whole interaction in silence, carefully watching every move they made in case we needed a quick escape. he was good at strategising and thinking on his feet.

"What could she possibly want right now?" Stefan mumbled, excusing himself and stepping outside.

Which left us alone with the humans.

"Why do they let you live?" Paul asked, in a sleepy bored tone.

"Excuse me?" The blonde asked.

"Your vampires, we don't normally fraternise with humans, not long term at least. I'm surprised they haven't eaten you yet." Paul finished.

I bit back my smile at his antics, always antagonising someone. making a game out of their fear.

"Beacsue we're friends, asshat. Friends don't kill each other. Though we have tried. Vampires are harder to kill than you think. Besides, Stefan's not that bad, it's his brother that's a dick."

"You got a girlfriend?" Marko asked, shifting Paul on his lap.

"No..."

"Of course he doesnt, look at him." Paul jeered.

"What's that supposed to mean."

"Nobody likes a square, and you, my tasty little morsel, and the squariest."

I watched the hair on the back of his neck stand up at that. Suddenly the door opened and a small black girl stepped inside, followed by Stefan. She had a look of determination on her face. As if to show off her power, she used it to shut the door behind her.

"We're going to get one thing very clear here, I male you these rings, you can't go around killing innocent people? Got that?"

"Paul went to wine in protest, but Marko beat him to it."

"We're vampires cutie, it's what we do."

"Sunlight or I kill you all right now. Your choice."

Dwayne growled at this, but I sped to him, holding him back.

"Think rationally" I reminded.

He was normally so level-headed.

"Define innocent." I quizzed.

"Don't- I don't like playing games. I could burn you alive without even raising a finger, do you really want to test me right now."

Yeah, I kinda did. Pretty or not, she was a right bitch. Star would hate her.

"Y/N would hate you," Dwayne spoke up.

"She's known you for like what, five days, doubtful."

"And I've known you for all of three minutes, but I can tell you're just an insecure baby witch, who thinks she has something to prove. The minute you stop pretending to be so tough, you're afraid one of them is going to drain you dry and leave you in a ditch somewhere. So you play it up, but really, you take no joy in hurting people, even vampires. That's why you didn't kill your one friend."

"How does he know about Caroline?" she asked.

Seems like Dwyae was spot on, like always. It was like having a free therapist around.

"Fine, innocents." I agreed.

There were plenty of douchbags to kill anyway.

"Right Paul, Marko..." I said in a threatening tone.

Marko sighed, and Paul nodded his head. I would do anything to make sure my coven was safe. If we could go in the sun, that would change everything. We could get away from Max, go where he can't reach us. I'd have to ensure he never got his hands on the witch.

"And your friend?" The witch asked.

"Dwayne will agree, you just caught him in a mood."

"Good, then let's get started." She pulled me forward by my shirt collar suddenly. "But know, if I find out you lied to me, I will make your death slow and painful, and make the rest of them watch."

I smirked.

"I would expect nothing less." I could see now why Y/N was friends with her, she was fun and intense just like her. We sat and watched as she worked, it didn't seem like a demanding spell, Not that I knew anything bout magic, but it seems like something she'd done many times before. The look on Paul's face when the stones started floating was priceless as if he couldn't fly himself. It honestly wasn't that impressive.

"Done." She said.

"That's it?" Marko asked.

"Yes."

She shoved a stone into his chest. She left the rest on the table for each of us to pick from. Jeremy, I think his name was, brought his girlfriend in for a kiss, ending the interaction with a kiss on her forehead. They were sort of cute together, I had to admit. The blonde eyes Marko suspiciously, and I rolled my eyes at him.

"How do we know they work?" Dwayne asked.

"Why don't you wait around until daylight to find out? Or are you eager to go out there and get mauled to death by my friend? Would ruin all my hard work." She sassed.

"Thank you." I cut in.

"Bonnie."

"Bonnie."

"Bon we should go, see if we can track Y/N and Ty."

They exited the hotel room.

"Matt, why don't you go find Damon and Elena, I'll stay here with them."

This was going to be a long night...

Y/N POV:

I was more than grateful when the sun came up. Most people would be mortified to wake up naked in their brother's arms, but I was just happy he was here with me. I suppose that was the real curse of the lycan. Tyler looked down at me.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like all the bones in my body were forcefully broken and put back together." I joked.

He rolled his eyes.

"Care is on her way with some clothes." He took off his jacket. "This is all I can offer right now."

I grateful to put it on, scrunching myself into a small ball so it would cover as much skin as possible. I winced when I moved. Normally it didn't hurt this much.

"What happened?"

"Well, it appears my vampire gene outweighed my werewolf gene. You tried to kill me last night, multiple times. After the fifth time, you bit me, I had to stop you somehow."

"What?!?!"

"It's fine, it healed." He laughed.

"That isn't funny Ty. Why would I-" I huffed.

I looked over the injuries on my body, they weren't that bad. They would heal in a few days, thanks to my regenerative abilities. I looked up when I heard the scrunching of leaves. Caroline stood there with a worried look on her face. I cut her off before I could speak.

"I'm fine Care Bear"

She gave me a small smile, handing me the outfit she picked. My brother was quick to turn around.

"I'm gonna head back into town. You good?"

"Yes, go Ty."

Caroline's outfit was a bit too cleavagey for my current mood, so I put my brother's hoodie back over it. I zipped it halfway, allowing it to fall over my shoulders.

"OH come on Y/N, that outfit was perfect!"

I rolled my eyes.

"And this is comfy." I gave her a quick spin. "Very comfy, which is what I need right now. I feel like roadkill."

She chuckled, pulling me into a hug and leading me back to civilization.

"You look like it too."

I playfully hit her shoulder. We walked back into town and there was only one thought on my mind… the boys. I wouldn’t be able to see them until nightfall. I wonder if they were ok, would they forgive me for not telling them what I was? I never meant to hurt them, or anyone for that matter. And god did I feel awful right now. My insides were worse than my outsides. Caroline seemed to notice my discomfort and grabbed my hand, giving it a light squeeze.

“Come on, we’ve got a surprise for you.”

I raised my brow at this. Surprises from Care were never good. I followed after her, a little worried about what would be waiting for me. But I was pleasantly surprised when we got to our destination. Maybe my eyes were fooling me, maybe I'd finally lost it. But there they were, standing right in front of me.

Marko was wrestling Paul in the sand, and Dwayne was chatting with Elena and Damon. And David sat beside Stefan, smoking a cigarette, I watched as Stefan accepted it. Now I know I was dreaming.

"Since when do you smoke?" I asked.

Both of the boys, my boys, looked up at me. It was weird seeing them in the same place. The guy I'd been crushing on since sophomore year, and the guy I was sure I fell in love with five days ago. David grinned up at me, his pretty teeth sparkling in the sunlight. I mean he looked good in the dark, but damn was he pretty in the light? Stefan cleared his throat after I had been staring.

"Since you stressed me the fuck out last night, Mouse."

"And he swears... David's rubbing off on you!"

He rolled his eyes. David took out another cig and lit it, noticing the one in Stefan's hand going stale. He passed it to me before taking a drag.

"Such a gentleman." I jeered.

"Just shut up and take it."

I took a long drag before passing it back.

"That what you were going to tell me last night before I wolfed out on you?"

Stefan coughed up a plum of smoke, and I almost felt bad... almost. David grinned like the Cheshire cat.

"Careful there Kitten, I think you might kill your boyfriend here."

"He's not my boyfriend." I squished in between the two of them. "If anything, he's my girlfriend."

I ruffled Stefan's perfect hair, and he swatted at my hands playfully.

"You ok?"

I gave him a thinly veiled smile.

"Physically? Yeah..."

"I'll convince Klaus to turn you, I promise."

"Dont do that thing you do Stefan, this isn't your problem to fix. I'm a big girl, I think I can convince Mr Brittish Psycho Manic to turn me, myself.

"British Psycho?" David asked.

I shot up from my seat, attempting my best impression of my least favoutite vampire.

"I am Klaus, the Immortal Hybrid, bow before me!"

This seemed to have got the attention of the others, because Damon let out a curt laugh, and Marko and Paul stood there confused.

"He's more of an Immortal Douchbag, who tried to date my bestie." "He never tried to date me." Stefan joked.

"You sure, 'cause that thing you described in the 20's" Stefan slapped a hand over my mouth and I giggled incessantly. I bit his hand, the venom only worked in werewolf form.

"JK, I was talking about Care Bear you dork."

Carolien swept me up into her arms, spinning me around.

"Aww, he could never steal me from you." She said, peppering kisses all over my face.

I tried to wiggle out of her arms but her grip on me was tight.

"A little help?" I looked over to Paul and Marko.

"No can do Babe," Marko said.

"Yeah, sorry but this is really hot," Paul said.

"Fat load of good you two are, this is why Dwayne's my favourite."

His head perked up at that, and he sent me the most angelic smile I'd ever seen. I could have sworn my heart stopped. Carolien finally put me down.

"So, how are the daylight rings treating you?" I asked. "Thank you, by the way." I aimed my thanks at Bonnie.

"There just stones right now," David said.

I raised a brow.

"They don't have much Lapis jewellery available in this town." Bonnie shrugged.

I grinned widely at that. They all looked at me confused.

"Tonight, give me your stones, I can fix them up for you. It's the least I can do before we have to go back home. You've been so kind to me, have to give you something to remember me by."

It would suck that I would have to leave soon. But I was sure we'd keep in touch somehow. Each of the boys had a distinct style, and I'd have to perfect their jewellery.

[organic-guacamole]

episode 209 spoilers below

I'm so late today but here it is

I love EJ, he's finally learning to be happy. I'm so proud.

Ms Jenn = every boomer during zoom calls, like jeez yes we can hear you stop shouting at me.

LOVE THE SUBTLE JOKE ABOUT QUARANTINE "these dark times" "you mean spring break?"

ah yes, remember when we thought covid was just gonna give us a longer spring break? good times

SEBLOS

damn the passive aggressiveness from Carlos and the absolutely over it tone from seb✋

CASWELL COUSINS!!!!! THEY'RE THE BEST!!!!

we needed more if this kind of goofiness for the first part of season 2 that only such an iconic duo can provide.

old old movies-

is it even that old, or is Nini being a gen alpha rn-

i choose to imagine EJ being scared of the movie and hiding in Ashlyn's shoulder while she keeps a straight face and then EJ pretending to be tough afterwards

aww redlyn are soulmates.... yknow, if gingers had souls

(please ignore me)

y'all saw how EJ's face *lit up* when Gina logged on? how dare you tell me he doesn't like her

ofc she's no damsel in distress, she's Gina porter, she's amazing.

so do we think she'd be the type to just glare at suspicious people? or bark at them

do they not know that Rini broke up? or is Ms Jenn just wanting Nini to suffer through her heartbreak to make her a better actress....

speaking of, why is Nini in the call? she's not in the show anymore. Unless she is, even after the rose and the song got cut, which would be so unfair to all those that auditioned properly before she even came back but whatever, she's the main character I get it 🙄

big red is a hero honestly, Nini better thank him for changing the subject like that

I can't-

i won't work you over the break-

this woman would 100% work her kids 24/7 if it was legal and idk how to feel about it.

YES GINA USE THAT CHARM

QUEEN

FRENCH QUEEN

SHE LEARNT FROM THE BEST (antoine obvi)

smh the airport lady, eavesdropping on Gina's call.

The way she was so happy to answer EJ's call, "eej"

I love them your honour.

EJ WITH PAINTED NAILS YES PLEASE

great now we need to see Gina, Ashlyn and EJ having a complete spa day and EJ getting really into it and Gina and Ashlyn take pictures of him when he's laying down in a robe with a mask and cucumbers on his eyes.

finally we get to see Gina's side of portwell

the way she considered it as flirting, this is the sign she asked for in episode 6 come onnnnn

no is Asher/jack really doing tiktok dances in an airport-

Ricky is me. I am burrito.

oh Lynne, sweetie, I'm sorry but the blonde hair is not it

is that even the same lady or-

THE BEAN

THE CHICAGO BEAN

THE BIG OLD METAL BEAN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CITY 😭

jetlag is my go to excuse for anything... I haven't travelled in 2 years.

"welcome to the Lynne and Mike gossip show. where we talk about our depressed son that we both neglect in certain ways! And now a word from our sponsor, Nord VPN..."

SO MANY CANDLES

WHAT DEMON IS LYNNE TRYING TO SUMMON IN HIS ROOM-

is Nina becoming social media obsessed EJ from season 1? AND SHE LIED ABOUT HAVING SONGS TOO PLEASE WHY ARW THEY RECYCLING THE SAME PLOT-

Gina smiling at the picture of her family on Instagram makes me so happy, idek why.

EJ's nails are so pretty, we needed to see it more (unless he had it on for the rest of the episode and I just.... didn't notice🧍🏽‍♀️)

oh not the tiktok kid✋

yes ma'am end this strange mans whole tiktok career

sir take a hint and leave

GINA NO DONT SAY YOUR LAST NAME HE COULD BE A HUMAN TRAFFICKER

Ricky, walking in style✨

weird kid, ok then Lynne, can't you see he's this close to the edge?

not all your fault baby Ricky, Nini sucks a bit more

RICKY YOU DIDN'T COME DOWN HARD ON THE SONG-

YOU ASKED WHAT IT WAS ABOUT AND SHE SHUT YOU DOWN-

PLEASE DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF

ok but the deleting comment thing was very bad

still don't know if I like Jack honestly

hmmm so Nini's calling herself Nini instead of Nina in her little egg seat, while trying to write a song without inspiration.... Nini, honey, Ricky was your muse, he inspired you to write all those songs, even if it wasn't good for the relationship.

that doesn't mean you gotta get back with him, or that you can't write a song that not about him butttt it'll take some time

the rainbow sticker in her box and her rainbow shirt-

anyways wbk she's not totally straight

Jack are you a criminal?

quick, Gina, check his ankle for a tracker

THE YES AND PRACTICE STRIKES AGAIN

the way Gina wasn't into it in episode 6 but she's used the technique twice now

stole her grandma's Pomeranian-

Jack where the hell did you pull that out from-

the fake crying killed me, that looks like so much fun though

anyone wanna raid a first class lounge with me?

wait so is jack not gonna go in with her?

wouldn't he go in too? help look for the credit card? SO CONFUSED

the first class lounge guy was so into the drama though, watch his face when they start arguing 😭

sorry to break this to you Kourtney, but you haven't even blocked the second act yet soooo...

take that as you will

I love how all of them are totally dissing the dance off

that's the most realistic part of this show tbh

shouldn't Nini have asked how she knew....since the start? why is the fact that her best friend has knowledge of a North high secret now dawning on her...

Howie is sweet honestly, at least he's trying to help. but I stand with Kourtney, don't take him back just because he sang an amazing song, and is giving you a heads up on what's gonna happen...

KOURTNEY IS ME TRYING TO LEAVE AN ONLINE CLASS

I hate school

ooo Nini's writing a song about bad internet connection 🤩🤩🤩

I never lie, except when I do-

son that is the creepiest thing you could say to a stranger that you've been "helping"

2 truths and a lie👀

he's an Ariana fan 100%

called it.

OLDER BROTHER-

WHAT-

free spirit? damn so brother porter was in that horse movie

so has she been kissed or not?????????

I feel like she's moved more than 15 times though so possibly

but then if she's moved so much, and before east high she never opened up to anyone, she's never been kissed then?? damn

same though Gina so let's be besties please

heartbreak president is a great song title idea, give Nini a call rn

but wait

is the no strings attached feeling thing about her telling Ricky she liked him? she thought she was moving away so she thought it'd be no strings attached???

guys I think I figured it out insert the "I've connected two dots" meme

THE DUKE SWEATSHIRT

IS THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND'S

OMG I LOVE I LOVE

NOT THAT I KNOW OF???

ma'am did you just kill me

yes you did

Lynne and Ricky have such a weird relationship

YES IT DID SUCK

TODD SUCKS

LYNNE SUCKS

yeah I get that you wanted Ricky to like Todd BUT THAT WASN'T THE TIME

right so we already know that Ricky was so desperate to keep Nini cuz he didn't want to be like his parents, and now Lynne's talking about this-

Richard needs a long hug

yes Lynne, it is your fault. thank you for finally admitting it.

YES DYE YOUR HAIR

BLOND HIGHLIGHTS RICKY WILL RISE AGAIN

"sometimes the best, last thing you can do for someone you love, is let them go."

gotta admit I teared up at that point

not me thinking big red was calling ms Jenn cupcake for a hot second-

Carlos please omg, you're at the "beach" and they're leaving for the pool?

also, why not just do the call from the hotel room please omg

"don't ask me"

"Carlos"

OMG WHAT HAPPENED

big red wants the tea

O M G

SEB IS JEALOUS

JEALOUS SEBBY IS MY FAVOURITE THING IDC

I'm surprised ms Jenn knew how to give Nini permission to screenshare tbh

So lily's been stalking the East high kids and spending time editing this video while she's supposedly in an immersion trip.... right

EJ and Ashlyn's picture is so chaotic, what even is happening there

"slacking off" bestie its spring break, obviously they're confident enough that they'll get it done in time so why not focus on your own musical.

jealous seb = sassy seb

please what if those guys Carlos is posing with are his cousins or something and that's why he's so confused about Seb

6 YEAR OLD EJ I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM

Nini saying she's obsessed with her ex, that's not weird at all 👍

I can just tell Matt had a blast harassing Julia with those puppets.

Jack please dont be like that, "yet"

chances are you'll never see eachother again 🥰

(honestly sometimes I really miss those friends I made on trips and stuff when we'd spend the day or week together, only to never see them again....those were the good days though)

Ashlyn and Nini should write more songs..... something better than this one at least

Nini: "im good"

cue the Tia Mowry (please I can't spell) crying gif

oh I forgot Ricky was in the show for a hot second

1. where did Gina get to film this without people being around

2. did she just... randomly change her clothes???

ok but the transition between Carlos and EJ

*chefs kiss*

now everyone shut up, EJ's singing

oh i think I'm pregnant

HIS MUSCLES

YES KOURTNEY

I love how big red and Kourtney went from being "the best friends™" to the couple in season 1, to kinda close themselves and having their own plots

sebby makes me so happy

props to biggies editing skills honestly

PORTWELL BEING SIDE TO SIDE I CANT

AND SEBLOS OMG

big red lives for the drama

"wow" so true Ricky

no he is not cute, stop it

"holding" ok that's kinda cute

yeah EJ's a lucky guy😌

jokes aside, it's not that hard to exchange numbers-

keep in touch if you want

ok I really like Jack now

if he comes back in season 3, maybe have him be LGBTQ+ ?

like the only out characters they have rn are Seb and Carlos and they're like the sterotypes, yk?

I'd love to see jack kinda break the mold

Ricky's breaking my heart

that song just hurts

the only thing

now I don't hate Lynne????????

HOW DARE THEY WRITE IN A PROPER REDEMPTION ARC FOR HER

UGH IM SUPPOSED TO HATE HER FOREVER

I mean I don't live her now but she's good

but honestly

"mom can I show you something"

IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL

THE PICTURE AND EVERYTHING OMG

I'm sobbing please help

Gina saying she's just waiting for the right guy and then EJ coming to the airport to pick her up late at night without her asking, offering to bring her back in the morning so she won't have to Uber, bringing her a granola bar (WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT SHE FORGOT TO PACK) and without expecting anything in return???

ms ma'am you've got a keeper right there

her smile at the end was so heartwarming I really can't.

this episode was great.

it felt really short but I liked it, great character development for Ricky, Lynne and Gina.

Cant wait for next episode to see more of EJ being the ideal boyfriend /hj

[matthewtkachuk]

how to be a heartbreaker: introduction - rafe cameron

Rafe Cameron’s privileged upbringing has let him get away with far too much, for far too long. Between his tormenting of the pogues, running his mouth without consequence, and arrogant attitude, it’s time someone knocked him down a peg. Breaking his bones didn’t work, but maybe you can break his heart.

co-authored with my love, freya @rekrappeter

pairing: Rafe Cameron x reader, unrequited!JJ x reader

warnings: angst, starting a relationship under false pretences, drinking and drug use

word count: 1.4k

a/n: here’s the intro!!!! ah we’re so unbelievably excited to share this with you guys, please please let us know what you think!

series masterlist

Your eyes tore away from the magazine you were lazily flipping through as the three boys you've grown up with stumbled through the door of the château. The argument that you've practiced for the last twenty minutes about them always being late and ditching you completely vanished from your mouth as you saw the two dark haired boys hoisting the blonde one through the house.

"What the fuck happened?" you asked, eyes wide as you jumped from the couch to help them.

JJ Maybank, your best friend, had blood seeping down his forehead and two evident black eyes forming. His nose was bloody, and the closer you got to him, you could bet easy money that it was broken. He spat blood on the floor, groaning as his two best friends, John B and Pope, dropped him on the couch. "Bastards," the blonde hissed, holding the area where his ribs were.

You stood in the middle of the living room, your hands on your hips as you waited for one of the boys to say something. You noticed the small gash above Pope's eyebrow, glancing at his knuckles to see them bloody and bruised. John B's fists were similar, his scars more evident, his shirt was ripped open, buttons missing as if it was thorn off him.

"Can someone please tell me what the hell happened," you raised your voice slightly after a hot second of deafening silence around the château.

JJ coughed, blood bubbling from his lips, "what the fuck do you think happened?"

You sighed in annoyance, walking over to your best friend and sitting next to him. You reached under the couch for the first aid kit that was strategically placed, opening it up and getting the familiar disinfecting wipes and dressings to clean the boys up. The blonde looked at you, eyes following your every move. It was something he was used to seeing, you looking after him and he realised he never voiced how grateful he was for it.

"Sit," you snapped at the other two boys standing there dumbfounded, handing two wipes to them to clean themselves up. "This is the third time this week, what the hell is going on?"

"Y/n, you should have heard what they were saying," Pope mumbled, wincing slightly when he rubbed his eyebrow. You rolled your eyes at the thought of what Rafe Cameron and his goons could say to make these boys heat up this bad.

"I hope they look as bad as you do," you directed the comment to JJ, watching him close his eyes as you cleaned the blood from his face. His breathing settled, the pain easing at your touch. "What did they say?" you asked.

Again, you were met with silence.

"It couldnt have been that bad," you muttered, feeling the tension rise around the house. JJ peeked his eyes open, looking at Pope and John B who shrugged their shoulders.

"They were just talking shit about you," JJ muttered, "Trying to get a rise from me."

You raised an eyebrow in his direction, eyes quickly scanning the cuts and bruises on his face and you couldn’t help but chuckle, "Looks like they got exactly what they wanted. JJ, I don’t give a fuck what they say about me, just stop getting into fights over it."

JJ sighed in annoyance, sitting up on his elbows bringing his body closer to yours. The blood drained from your face quickly, your heart hammering against your chest due to the close proximity. Pope swallowed nervously for you, watching your eyes dance around his friend's face. He looked over at John B, who looked between the pair awkwardly before Pope took his attention away from you.

"They can't talk shit about you and get away with it," JJ hissed.

"They've been doing it for years," you mumbled, feeling yourself getting shy. He was the only boy you ever got shy around, despite being your best friend. It all happened three years ago, when he kissed you as a way to get rid of an annoying ex-girlfriend and you realised you had stupidly fell for your gorgeous, dumb best friend. You never told him and you never acted on it, he thanked you for the kiss and skipped off to another touron that same night while you were left gobsmacked.

"Thats the thing! They can't keep doing it, someone has to knock them a few feet down!" JJ said, feeling his blood boil at the memory of the horrific words Rafe said about you.

You hushed him, placing a plaster over his forehead before grabbing the bloody wipes to toss them away. JJ moved to sit comfortably on the couch, watching you walk to the bin. "He keeps talking shit about how he'd fuck you and how he'd have you at the palm of his hand if he tried."

You grimaced at the words, looking at Pope who nodded shamefully. "Honestly y/n, we have to do something about it."

"Like what?" You huffed, throwing your hands down in frustration. "You tried beating them up, and look at you! All of you!"

"W-we thought of something else.." JJ mumbled, nervously chewing on his bottom lip.

Pope groaned, dropping his body on the couch beside JJ, "No, let me rephrase that. JJ and John B had an idea. I want nothing to do with this."

"What is it?" you asked.

John B glanced at JJ before a smirk tugged on his lips, "Rafe talks so much about having you and shit like that, we were thinking, well we can't break his bones... we're tried that... so-"

"So why not break his heart?" JJ piped up, interrupting the brunet.

"Are you sure Rafe Cameron has a heart?" You chuckled, not piecing together what they were indicating at.

"Not a very nice one but what he does have, we think you could break it," John B said. Your eyes widened at his words, suddenly entering into a coughing fit. You bent over, grabbing your stomach.

"Y-you want me-me to do what?" You coughed.

JJ jumped from the couch, despite the pain shooting through his ribs, and he knelt in front of you, grabbing your face in his hands. "Look, it's perfect. You make him fall in love with you and then you break his heart, simple."

Pope rolled his eyes from the other side of the room, "its not that simple."

"Why not, Pope?" John B asked.

Pope looked at you briefly before sighing, "this isn't some teen romance movie, life comes with complications and the big one here is that rafe is an asshole and wont fall in love with y/n."

"Who wouldn't fall in love with y/n? She's perfect," JJ exclaimed, standing up beside you. Your heart fluttered at his words, looking at him hopeful before your eyes found Pope's, who gave you that look you were all too familiar with. The look that read ‘dont think too much into it’. Pope was the only one who knew how you felt about JJ, he caught onto your longing looks and girly giggles; something he never would have connected with you previously.

"You have to do it, y/n, they almost killed JJ tonight.." John B pouted, running his hands through his tousled hair.

"Guys, I-i don't know.."

"We'll be there with you for it all, helping you, guiding you," JJ pouted, "Please, do it for me."

You crossed your arms in front of your chest, thinking of the possibilities. Pretending to like Rafe Cameron, making him fall in love with you, and ultimately breaking his heart. It would be tough, it would be painful, but it could be a way to bring you and JJ closer. "What's in it for me?"

"We'll get rid of the no pogue on pogue making rule," John B smirked, eying at Pope before looking at you and JJ. Your mouth agape, you glanced at Pope who shrugged his shoulders confused. "Come on, I know you have a thing for that Leo guy."

You let out a breath you didn't realise you were holding, relaxing your shoulders before looking around at the boys. JJ's blue eyes were hopeful, urging you to accept the challenge. John B looked as if you already agreed, sitting confidently on the chair. Pope's look was more reluctant and apprehensive, chewing on his inner cheek.

"Fine, I'll do it."

JJ hollered loudly, "Let's make you a heartbreaker."

htbah taglist (link to google form is in the series masterlist!): @solllaris @drewswannabegirl @starrystarkey93 @httpstarkey @sweetlysilent @drewstarkey @dontjinx-it @ultranikilove @spencereidbasis @meaganjm @starlightstarkey @thortheestallion @jiaraendgame @idocarealot @tempestuousjj @pink-meringues @dpaccione @arianabrashierstuff

rodeo rafe babies who said they were interested: @scandalousfemale @outerbankslut @honeyycheek @jellyfishbeansontoast @ilovejjmaybank @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless @girlsru1eboysdroo1

diverdcwn everything taglist: @velyssaraptor @danicarosaline @copper-boom @x-lulu @prejudic3 @downbytheouterbanks @bricksatanakinswindow @sunwardsss @rudyypankow @im-a-stranger-thing @alexa-playafricabytoto @combativehood​ @sortagaysortahigh​ @socialwriter​ @bluesiderudy​

[leviathans-normie]

My heart is shattered after reading mc sacrificing themselves poor them I wanted I continuation of mc who soul was sent to celestial and they become a seraph and married to Micheal then there a was second exchange program and they see mc but they dont recognises them anymore since they lost their memory of their past life

So you have chosen to rub salt in the wound, huh? I salute your strength.

YEARS AFTER MC SACRIFICED THEMSELVES FOR LILITH

LUCIFER

→When he heard about another exchange programme, he groaned.

→"Not again, Lord Diavolo."

→He might have seemed tired, but in reality, he was remembering how the last one went and how MC left.

→His head couldn't help but play that scene in his mind.

→When he saw them coming, he was shocked, yet ecstatic.

→Yet, he knew something was different. They were weirded out when the others hugged them, or when Lord Diavolo told them "you know the drill."

→And, of course, Asmodeus, the biggest gossiper noticed the ring.

→"Oh, yeah, I'm Michael's wife."

→You could actually pin-point the moment Lucifer's heart broke.

→He tried to play it cool, do things as he was supposed to, but everyone could tell he was different.

→He avoided MC like the plague, and his anger, hatred and resentment towards Michael and God peaked.

→He was mad; at himself, mostly.

→He should have, could have, prevented it.

→But he didn't.

→And now, the only thing he could do was to pretend he was fine.

MAMMON

→He was so excited when he saw them going through the gates of Devildom.

→Of course he went to hug them! He's their first! He deserves to be hugged first!

→What do you mean they don't remember him?

→"MC what are you talki- is that a ring?!"

→Devastated when he heard about them and Michael.

→He was their first.

→He was supposed to marry them, not Michael.

→Why did they have to do this?

→It's the only time anyone had seen him lose his cool and go full-on demon form.

→He was mad, ready to go up to the Celestial Realm and kill Michael with his own two hands.

→When he calmed down, he refused to look them in the eye.

→They had forgotten him, and much worse, they disliked him due to his outburst.

→The only person who didn't think he was a scum had abandoned him.

→So, what was the point of trying not to be scummy anymore?

LEVIATHAN

→Another boyo that ran and hugged the life out of MC when she passed the gates.

→Woahhhhhhh.png

→But when MC didn't hug back, something seemed off.

→"Is this one of your normie tactics?"

→But by the look on their face — and the tons of anime he's consumed — he could already assume what was up.

→No, it can't be like that.

→Not right when he had fixed his life again.

→He refused to believe it and spoke to them as if they still remembered.

→Which made him come off as weird.

→But the final blow was when he learnt about Michael.

→Of course. Why would MC remember a yucky otaku like him? They'd obviously want to be with someone perfect and angelic like Michael.

→Don't expect him to get out of the room soon.

SATAN

→He was still a bit salty about the Lilith thing.

→He refused to partake in anything Lucifer or his brothers took part in.

→But when MC knocked on his door to introduce themselves out of politeness.

→His breath hitched.

→"M-MC, you're..."

→But he knew something had changed. He could see it in their eyes.

→They introduced themselves and accidentally slipped a piece of info or two about them and Michael.

→He wished he could have held his anger back then.

→Yet, he was unable to.

→If when they died was a huge tragedy for him, now it was even worse.

→Better dead than so close yet so away from him.

→He moved out, destroyed some of Devildom on his way and went straight up to Michael to give him a piece of his mind.

→After all, with no previous connection, he couldn't give two shits about him.

→Rip anyone who gets in his way. 

ASMODEUS

→”Oh, honey, you’re back!”

→Shoved everyone out of the way to hug MC.

→Sooo pouty when they don’t hug back.

→”Darling, what’s wro-...”

→Could see it in their face that there was something wrong. 

→”Honey...?”

→”Please, don’t call me that. I’m a married person and I don’t want people to get the wrong idea.”

→eh.png

→When they explained about Michael, his heart sank deeper than it already was. 

→He had promised himself that he wouldn’t let go of his routines, so he didn’t. 

→But he just couldn’t find any joy in them. 

→He wasn’t happy doing facemasks, relaxing baths. Not even going home with strangers to fulfill his desires wasn’t enough. 

→It all felt pointless. And he hated it. 

→He hated how, despite always promising he’d love himself above all, another person came into his life and then left like that, only to come back and give him another finishing blow. 

→But he wasn’t planning on having hard feelings. 

→He would spend time with MC. It wasn’t time for regrets nor for crying. 

→If they can’t be lovers, friends they would be. 

→After all, who knew how much time he had left with them?

BEELZEBUB

→Was really happy when he heard the news. 

→Finally, he could stop feeling guilty! He’d have MC back on his family! Lilith and Belphie too! It was great!

→Or so he thought.

→At first he didn’t realise that MC didn’t remember him. He actually thought it was quite natural. 

→But then, he noticed their finger and asked about the ring.

→It was as though the sky fell on his head. 

→”Why would you marry Michael if we were together?”

→MC was really confused. “When were we together?”

→And then, it suddenly clicked.

→This is why MC hadn’t hugged him much, why they hadn’t cuddled him nor kissed him. Not because of awkwardness, but because, in their mind, they hadn’t met before. 

→But... he understood he couldn’t do anything about it.

→In his mind, he was just glad they were alive, glad that he wouldn’t live with that guilt. 

→So, he pushed his feelings to the side and spent time with them like normal. 

→It still hurt him to see them be with Michael during his rare visits to the Devildom, but... if MC was happy, he was too. 

BELPHEGOR

→He pretended not to care.

→But he cared.

→He cared a lot. 

→So, of course, he approached MC at some point. 

→They chatted a bit, but from that he could already understand something was different. 

→Honestly, he was heart broken.

→But he also couldn’t care less.

→I mean, what did he expect?

→He shouldn’t have expected anything good to happen to him.

→So, he just, moved on with his life. 

→He was heart broken and angry, but at least a small bit of guilt had been lifted. 

→He even attempted to have a better start than the one he had the previous time. 

→Yes, he was hurt, but at least he wasn’t guilty. 

[khaleesiofalicante]

I’M DEFINETLY NOT READY, BUT HERE WE ARE ANYWAYS!

I will try to keep this short!!! I swear!! Cause everyone will also be screaming. I can feel it!!

Okey, here we go (I’ll keep myself to the important parts)

Lexi is still having THAT dream?? I don’t like what that means . 

“You sure know how to wake a girl up.” Every day I fall more in love with Lexi💙

“It was an odd sort of pain.” PARABATAI! OH FUCK!

-She looked like she was in pain. Lexi noted the older woman’s parabatai rune was burning too. “The Academy,” her mother said, picking up a seraph blade. “It’s under attack.” (I’M ALREADY SREAMING!)

FUCK! Now I got to go do some things I have been procrastinating about :( And in the middle of this?? Well, guess I’ll come later

I´m back. This day was hard. I may have had a little mental breakdown while finishing some work. BUT I’M GOOD NOW! I SWEAR! And I have my homework and work done finally!!

Lexi didn’t think it was possible, but the sight somehow made her gayer than before.  “Ladies,” Liv smirked. “You’re welcome.” (Firts of all, SAME BRO! Second of all, HOLY SHIT I LOVE HER!)

Sometimes you are just *sigh*parabatai, and thats ok, cause I LOVE LEXI AND GIGI SO MUCH

"If they did, she was going to burn it out of them." As you should Lexi 😉😂

"The bar was extremely low for shadowhunters." Yeah, they have been through some stuff

OH yeah, the other perspective is Rafael!!!

"His parents had even attended the graduation ceremony last month, all glamoured up and teary eyed." THIS FAMILY!

Rafael at university is just an incredible mental image!!

“You’re the kind of guy who loves with his soul, not just with his heart” 🥺🥺 My heart is do soft for Rafe!!

“Now get your ass to that girl and tell her how you feel.” YESS. YOU CALL HIM OUT!!

"He had watched one too many. He actually liked romcoms" I love him so much!!

“El que no arriesga, no gana,” Camilla said now. (Okey, but this girl has some good advice!!)

“Don’t be a stranger, Rafael.” (I dont know why I love when people say that, but I do💙💙)

"Max only ever listened to his boyfriend." I LOVE MAVID SO MUCH!!!

Max is a lil shit 😂

“I’ll bring you some tamales.” Now I'm hungry for tamales :((

“Bonita,” he had whispered when he had seen her. (jshejdhei lil Rafael having a crush!!)

“All thanks to the amazing Isabelle Lightwood,” Jaime replied. “I think I am a little in love with her.” “Who isn’t?” (I mean... They are right!)

OH no. FUCK. Anjali is sick!!! I'm screaming!!

THOSE SIBLINGS!! 😂😂

"To his people, angel blood meant everything. They were encouraged to procreate and increase their numbers." Shadowhunters are sometimes REALLY stupid!

"If it ever came to a point, as it often did in their lives, where they had to choose between themselves and the children – they had promised each other to save the children." 🥺🥺 I'm not crying!!

“I think you are fully capable of making this decision on your own,”, “No uterus. No opinion.” and "Whatever you decide, Alec and I are here for you.” are just *chef kiss* I love them so fucking much!! 💙💙

Jace and Alec are just- 😂😂

Anjali has Leukaemia??? This is bad.. Really bad and now I'm scared

"They really understood the assignment.” "What do we know about this little shit?” and "Three out of three" killed me 😂😂 THOSE PARENTS ARE THE DEAD OF ME

OH god that meeting!!

Izzy!! What??? Wtf??? I need answer!!!

Another perspective!! You really like to give suspense Dani!!

"David put his arms around Max and counted to ten in French. Max controlled his breathing to the sound. He had taught his body to listen to David – just like he had taught his heart." He is just to perfect! 💙

Jdjdkshs I'm worried for Izzy!! And Gigi!!

She was poisoned?? By what?? The Coffee??? I'm gonna trow some hands to whoever did it!!!

"David,” he whispered. “This is Bapak’s coffee order.” ( I just... I will go scream)

God, this was hell of a chapter. I'm loving it!!

The angst, the pain, THEM, I love it. It was amazing. I really forget its not canon 💜💙

I would like to read all the reactions, but unfortuately this is not a great day, so maybe I will read it later 💙

Ahhh thank you 🥺🥺🥺

I really hope your day gets better and you have a good weekend 💙💜 Sending a shit load of love.

The collective reaction for chapter 1 can be summed up with this gif:

Also since you love Lexi - here is a Lexi tiktok 🤭