#does this count as an essay... probably /j

[crsssie]

and on and on, yeah we got the time

Word count: 1.2k || pt2 of on and on, || art creds: 30backyard (lofter)

summary: dorming is hell, so your boyfriend fixes that obv

"You know, Jay." You raise a brow as he does all of the heavy lifting, sliding your mattress on the ground into your shared bedroom in the new apartment. 

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"Oh, god. Did you learn that while reading on ao3 again? Jesus." You grumble. "What I was going to say, though, was that you really... you probably could have called a moving company."

"Listen, lovely." He points. "You have me."

"Yeah, yeah." You sigh. "I love you too, Jay."

"Good, cuz I've seen how many weird fratboys make eyes at you on the daily, and I honestly think some of them need to get beat."

"Not like you couldn't beat them." You pat his shoulder. "Is that it?"

"Should be." He hums. "How do you like our place?"

"Can't wait to have all of my annoying ass textbooks slotted in the bookshelves that you decided were necessary while telling Bruce to remodel."

"Can't wait to have your dissertation plastered on the walls."

"Oh..." You mumble. "Our degrees... You plan on living here forever?"

"Just a little, maybe."

"Could we just throw the mattress off the balcony next time?"

"I mean, I'm not saying no..."

You find that Jason's still the biggest book nerd in college. His 4.0 is daunting compared to yours despite being in the same school as you, and it's just a little... terrifying. At the very least, all of his professors adore him. You find that it's at the very least — helpful. It's great that Jason's adored by your shared professors because when Jason accidentally lets slip that you're his girlfriend, it gives you a boost. You don't know how, but you end up relaying messages to Jason through your professors occasionally. You wonder just what kind of tactics Jason's employing to get on their good side an ungodly amount, but it's not your problem. Jason has the face card and the personality for it.

At the very least, when it comes to you, he does.

"Prof wants to see you at office hours." He hums. "English 102."

"Jesus, what did I do now?" You grimace.

"Probably that shitty essay you bullshitted."

"God." You mumble. "I truly need to get on your level."

"Thank you, sweetheart." He hums. "The art of knowing does not come easy."

"Yeah, yeah." You grumble. "We should get back to a book a week. Sorry, I mean I should get back to a book a week."

"You can start by catching up with me."

"M..." You pause. "How about... no."

"Well, your choice." Jason hums. "We're mid semester—"

"WHICH IS ANOTHER THING. WHY DID WE MOVE MID-SEMESTER??" You snap your head to look at him, annoyed. "Jay, baby."

"I know." He pouts. "But you hated that dorm too."

"Yeah, but now I have to change all of my mailing addresses. Again." You mumble. "I hate doing that. I don't know how many accounts I even have."

"At least you got all of your packages."

"I guess..." You sigh. "Well, at the very least... we own this place."

"We own the building."

"WHAT." 

"Correction. B bought the building and transferred ownership to me. I own the building."

"Oh my god." You mumble. "You truly are learning from the worst..."

"Worst being you?"

"Yes. Duh. How many times have I called B for a hundred dollars because I couldn't afford matcha?"

Jason holds back a laugh, closing his eyes as his brows furrow. "Matcha does not—"

"No, but B can spare it." You hum. "Don't worry. I pay him back with the abundance of gifts I bring with each travel."

"Which is on B's account." Jason pauses. "You know what? Yeah. Whatever. Eat the rich. I didn't steal his tires and strike gold for me to be telling you to go easy on his bank account."

You give him a thumbs up. "Well, I make my own as well. It's nice to not need to worry about tuition... but it's also a pain in the ass to not be able to make money here."

"At least you have a legal ssn and everything."

"Not."

"Not ssn. Sorry." He snorts. "Well, better than the goons in Gotham, I'm sure."

"Definitely." You hum.

Jason tunes out your rambling as he glances around the room. The couch would arrive soon, and the rest of the furniture (including the 4K HD TV that you deemed necessary in order to, and he quotes, "see men in 4k" on) would arrive soon. He wonders just what he would be doing had he not met you. 

Would his life have ended when he nearly lost his life? Would he have gone to find his mother had you not clung onto him and threatened suicide? Even then, you were insane. He glances back at you as you tilt your head at him, expecting an answer.

"Sorry, babe. Spaced out."

"I was asking if you wanted takeout for dinner."

"Maybe?" Jason pauses. "Sure. You wanna order?"

"There's a place downstairs that I wanted to go to." You hum. "Right out there."

"Hope that pizza is just as good as the one that Dick won't shut up about." Jason mumbles.

"You recon I could ask them if they take school dining dollars?"

"They don't."

"Wouldn't hurt to ask." You grin. 

"I'm not asking for you." He deadpans. "I'll search it on reddit for you, though."

"Mm... that works." You hum. "So... wanna tell me what was on that exam you took?"

"No."

"No?? Not even a clue??" You gasp, pretending to be hurt.

"You'll be fine."

"That 88 I got on my first exam begs to differ."

"You're my smart girl." He hums.

You grimace at him.

"Alright, alright. But you're paying for dinner."

"Bruce is, but yeah." You click on your phone, handing him the menu as you get cozy on the couch. 

Jason settles into a day to day with you, fingers interlaced with yours, placing grapes in your mouth as you rest, sigh breaking through your chest as you rest the book over your eyes.

"Tired?"

"Very." You hum. "How was your final?"

"I finished." He pulls another grape, pressing it to your lips as you part them to eat. "You're getting real lazy, sweetheart, you know that?"

"Yeah." You hum. "But you love me."

Jason pretends to think about it, tapping his chin as he puts the bowl down. "I don't know..."

"You're hand feeding me grapes and you're telling me you don't know if you love me?" You move the book from your eyes, raising a brow at him as you shuffle and lean on your elbows.. "Jason, beloved. If you tell me you don't know one more time I'm sending you straight to hell."

"By killing me?"

"Jay, baby?"

"Yes?"

"No." 

He reaches for the bowl again, breaking another grape off to give you.

"But you love me."

"Yeah, yeah." You sigh, taking the grape as Jason presses his lips to yours, giving you a quick kiss. You make a noise in protest.

"I love you more than words could express, sweetheart." He takes the last grape, slipping it past his own lips as you throw your head into the arm of the couch and groan.

"You cheeseball."

"Says the one who asked me out."

"I didn't even ask you out all that cheesily." 

"Yeah, but you asked me out."

"And you accepted it." You point. "Loser."

"Yeah, your loser."

"My loser." You sigh. 

[total-drama-brainrot]

ophe when’s the alecody essay (HARD /J HERE LMFAO) /nf

As far as Alejandro ships go, Alecody is probably one of the most viable ones out there.

That's not to say it's the most viable, or the "best" Alejandro ship, because quite frankly I don't think there is such a thing as a "best ship", but from a purely canonical standpoint if Alejandro were to end up with any of his castmates, I'd say Cody would be a strong contender. Again, not the strongest, but also not entirely out of left field.

Which is mostly because he's one of the very few people in canon that Alejandro has A. interacted with more than once without issue, and B. not screwed over entirely to reach his goals. Not that Alejandro didn't screw Cody over - there are a few instances wherein Alejandro intentionally does something that directly affects Cody (most notably feeding Sierra's wedding delusions), but Alejandro doesn't do anything in terms of the competition at large that'll get Cody himself eliminated. In fact, he takes the finale tie breaker quite seriously; it's one of the few times Alejandro gets someone eliminated fairly, and Cody himself readily accepts that.

Cody's also one of the few characters who Alejandro has shown conditional kindness to, who actually survives said kindness without facing an elimination. Or without immediately contrasting that kindness with hostility behind his back (like he does with Owen and, to a lesser extent, Izzy), or using said kindness as the tool that'll get him eliminated (via flirting). That has to count for something, since Alejandro isn't the type to form friendships/aqquaintenceships that don't benefit him, and yet any sort of relationship with Cody is unbiasedly bereft of any notable benefits outside of the rapport itself.

The alliance he tries to secure with Cody is, objectively, entirely useless to Alejandro. He knows that Cody will only ever vote for Sierra, just like he knows that - out of the remaining four - Cody is the weakest contestant, and yet he still does his best to keep Cody on his side despite there being negligable benefits of him doing so.

So despite the fact that they had to duke it out in the tiebreaker, Alejandro and Cody have surprisingly little beef between them.

You could argue that Cody utilizing the nickname "Al" against him is indicitive of some resentment on his part, but I'd argue that Cody only really does that because he's a little shit (and rooting for Heather) and doesn't have the same level of resentment towards Alejandro that the majority of the cast harbours. If any at all, since Alejandro was nothing but cordial towards him.

So it's entirely plausible that Cody and Alejandro could meet each other outside the context of the competition - likely after All-stars, if we're going by strictly canonical guidelines - and spark a relationship from there.

Neither holds and lingering dislike for the other, and they've got a shared history of medical suffering under Total Drama they could bond over, and Cody's already seen Alejandro at his worst moments so Alejandro doesn't even have to live up to any false pretenses around him. Cody himself isn't the type to judge a person too harshly on their actions in the competition (which is backed by his canonical forgiveness and acceptance of Sierra despite her actions towards him) and would probably be thrilled to learn that the seemingly infalliable Alejandro he knew in Total Drama is, in fact, a giant nerd. (Just like him!)

I think the main factor that would hold this ship back would be Cody's inabily o recognis th at at hid cor e he little mome than a bxi eia; dis st t and Ale j a dn tro is evnrn mor so. T her s e t o lon ers coul nd t inf ds a h ela g t h r altio nanhip if i etr jjmupec ut anf u bt them on t h e f ace.

aacoridngt oal known laws of actia thes i s no way bbe souhle be a bl e to s fly its win s a e tto smal to get ist fa tlitr el bod y tsoooff hte geuihnd the bbe of c our se flie s anywa y becas e bes ont c re ha t s hu man sns thij ksi imposacp ible

[chnt-confessions]

i think i'm the only person in the entire fandom that has any genuine empathy for elijah, and i'm stuck thinking there's something deeply wrong with me for that. i feel like quite a lot of people split black on him (and joshua) and then split white on jedidiah, and sydney. the ONLY two options are to dehumanize or objectify him. no hate to jedidiah-likers, but jedidiah is not a victim. he doesn't act entirely the way he does because of trauma, he acts that way because he implicitly looks down on sydney. what kind of man jeopardizes the entire world for a man that he let gravely sick in the first place, only to gaslight and neglect him?? all this because of mommy and daddy issues that, like, 70% of the population has?? i had to headcanon extra issues and trauma for him to just to keep myself sane. i don't mean to invalidate his trauma, but he has lived such a privileged life and can easily go to therapy and yet. i'm sorry but it's bojack-horseman levels of "how tf do you expect me to feel bad for you? lmao." like, i need him to get better because people will likely die if he gets any worse, but other than i couldn't care less about this guy. i'm way more sympathetic to sydney because he's trying his best but he seems to have an empathy deficiency of some kind (it's not his fault but it is painfully obvious sometimes and i wish i could fix him but i have to fix myself first because i also deal with this); i also relate to the "feeling unlovable" aspect of things.

we have only seen elijah at his worst. the elephant man is elijah "mental breakdown, 2 years and counting psychotic episode" core; did everyone just assume he was born like that? and if he was, that would also make me sad tbh. he had a similar upbringing to jedidiah and yet he does not show it at all and i'm wondering what tf was different. he also generally sucks at being a villain sometimes (i.e. telling sydney his weakness, letting sydney go back to jedidiah, reacting way better than most people would when sydney told him that he couldn't get the journals). when jedidiah says "sydney, you're always fine." vs when elijah says it; jedidiah said it to gaslight sydney and because he feels bitter about the fact he's working so hard to keep sydney alive and can't use it to manipulate him (i'm joking but i'm also not joking), while elijah was just being a little acolyte and also he's symbolically the earth, so when he says the earth will catch him when he falls, he is fr. idk what snapped in him with the murder-suicide thing but considering that he is the earth, and unfortunately due to sydney's weird little mind and jedidiah's horribleness, the earth is, like, post-apocalyptic now so it probably has something to do with that (idk why he switched from stabbing to burning alive; probably cuz of the theatrics/j). anyway, he does suck and he needs to go back to russia and never come back for everyone's good, but i really do think he would be better than jedidiah could ever be (yes, even with therapy; i'm literally speaking facts/hj) if "everyday [wasn't] a living fucking nightmare." and i'm constantly like "._." whenever i remember that jedidiah is the reason "everyday is a living fucking nightmare." also i really wanna see someone do elijah/the elephant man analysis/interpretation that doesn't reek of disgust and hatred (or lust; do whatever you want, but i'm judging you rn), just for variety tbh. here is his official playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/389N5sUULTXFC63I3CSn7c?si=756dacaa18cd491c some of the songs in here are, like, "???" and i want to see someone's else's take on them (even elijah haters tbh) sorry for the essay, that's all i wanted to say :)

also im so happy that i can say this anonymously, thank you chnt-confessions for doing god's work, i love you platonically <3

(ABOUT THE LAST PART) no need to apologize and I'm really glad to make you happy!!

[kanohivolitakk]

super mario for the ask game 👀

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most):

Ok curretly it's Zokket but ignoring him becaue of recensy bias I will say either King Boo, Bowser or Kamek for mainline/regular Mario cast, Count Bleck, Antasma and Jonathan "J" Jones for RPGs and K Rool + Captain Syrup for sister/subfranchises.

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped):

I try to avoid Brothership characters because they're a bit too recent but if I don't say Connie then I'm a liar. If we go outside Brothership then probably either Luigi or Bowser Jr. Is that basic ass bitch answer? Maybe but I digres.

Also Drybones for some reason, IDK I just find them very adorable.

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

Antasma deserved to be more than Bowser wank plotdevice, in this essay I-

Also Cortetz. He is super cool and it sucks people don't give him much attention :C. Easily my favorite character from TTYD.

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

Wanda the Fairy is my daughter who I will die for even if she literally was in one dumb game from the early 90s.

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

ZOKKET. Easily the coolest Mario RPG villain we have had in years yet he doesn't get the love he deserves, instead being overshadowed by both of the major spoiler characters conneced to him. But god I love him so much. Just he fits my taste of "destructive sad JRPG men" nearly perfectly yet ahahaha. Just perfect poor little meow meow.

Also King Boo, Bleck and Antasma because they were my villain blorbos for the longest time before Zokket fucked up my brainchemistry. Tho tbf I feel the best answer would be Grodus, guys highkey underrated and I find him to be pretty neat.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

I live for writing/creating Zokket angst does that count?

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

Dimentio. I love him (probably my favorite Mario RPG villain or at least up there) but he deserves it.

[tiredsmashbros]

oh nova, nova, nova... you silly goose this is all a dream you gotta wake up- NAWW IM KIDDING Y3JEHFWDSIUGJHEFWDS its four am for me writting this but u aint gonna catch me sLACKING!!! i aint forgetting bout you :3c 💛

NOW ONWARDS TO YAPPERYYYY - only for nova shoo shoo /srs

if a lil bug told me i was going to be trapped in vcs with a silly freak screaming their fixation ships but also be a heavy isaacwhy fan would i believe it? honestly yeah probably LMAOOO

the months i've gotten to hang with you has been CRAZY... in a positive outcome obviously jajajaj. but my i never expected this to be frank, yet even if i didn't i'm so glad i got the chance to get to know you more, and even more proud to be friends with you dude 💛

truth to be told... when i first got to interact with you more in the server, especially vcs... I WAS HORRIFIED LMAOOO I HAD NO IDEA HOW ENERGETIC YOU WERE AND HAD A STRONG INTERESTS FOR UR OCS /POS. even if a bit of time passed since the start of the server i was incredibly anxious and unsure how to process since i tend to have extreme bad luck connecting with folks who tend to be very hippitty hopitty due of traumatic experiences, i was absolutely horrified accepting i wasn't going to learn to befriend you or at least get more acquainted if i got even lucky. that maybe i need to continue being on my guard and keep my walls up... to be more firm and quiet.

even quickly to the point i began to become more fearful due to my brain immediately using negativity as a coping mechanism to strike you as someone "negative" when i knew deep down it wasn't true. distancing was the only thing i knew how to do, but i knew from past experiences it never leads as the right solution. so. i took a deep breath. and try to adapt from afar, trying to understand you and keeping watch if you were someone i did need to be wary of. WHICH I WAS RIGHT BC UR A FREAK- anyways /j /silly IHUGWDS

butt ngl i began to feel more comfortable and hopeful when i realized bit by bit how neo interacted with you. being very happy and exploding your name in glee whenever you joined vc. shortly after hearing/reading such nice things bout you from others day by day it began to wash away my fears and doubts. to the point when i was on one more strike of considering if maybe i was wrong, questioning other possibilities you secretly could be, my hunch then threw in a kick and told me to not worry. that in fact we would be good friends whether i wanted to believe it or not at that moment. but the one thing i knew i could always count on was my hunch.

few weeks later im getting excited practically everyday to join in vc with you, discovered you were a fan of isaacwhy, and just overall getting to know you more as a person other than "HEX3 HEX3 HEX3" HIJEFDGJHEDCSHJ. it sure was scary, the journey, but honestly... if i were to really think about it, you had just a massive impact on me then maybe my emo self would care to admit. you helped me heal through something i thought i would never get passed despite struggling it for years, you helped me learn to try and be more kinder, to be more silly, just a bit more open, and importantly to just be a bit more vocal.

sure i know i may be the man who's as i've stated before, now iconic for his long sappy messages and essays, but truthfully getting to express how i feel vocally is one of the most heaviest struggles and issues i've faced my whole life. yet, getting to see how expressive you are even if you say you were nervous, to me i have always envied and admired how actually brave of a person you are. no fear in talking bout your interests. no fear in yapping about your obsessions even. and no fear in being silly if the possible thought it could've been embarrassing or out of pocket. to me you never strike as a nervous individual, completely the opposite since day one. even if to many others those seem simple tasks and possibly just daily tasks one does with others, it's never once been the norm for me. nor the idea that it maybe could be. frankly i still feel like i have a long way to go with the need of more practice, but whether you meant to or not, you came in barging slamming thru those walls i've desperately kept up due to fear of being hurt again. butt your not like those bad people i've encounter, your creative, inspiring, determined, outstandingly goofy, and just a interesting individual as a whole.

im a guy that appreciates conversation more than anything in any form of relationship, especially friendships. and nothing completes the journey without that simple check in my book, in which you've not only fulfilled so easily, but showed just how genuinely you care about others.

i know i may be a bit of a guy who likes to take their time with things in which contracts how a impatient FREAK you are... i want you to always know i never do it to avoid or ignore you. im just a turtle who wants to make sure once he makes the action, that its the best it can be. not the fastest it can be done. additional, i don't want you to ever feel like your annoying me for repeatedly asking for things or updates from me. if anything, i appreciate it the most because i unfortunately do struggle with short-term memory that even something that occurred a minute ago i will completely forget.

BUT THAT DOESNT EXCUSE U ASKING FOR HEX3 EVERY FUKIN MINUTE GET OUTTTTTTTT /silly /j HUKJREDSUHJKGEFWDSIOA

okay i think i need to stop my gross sappery there u understand the point old champ? righty'o lets commence forth to the delicious meal you've prepared...

IN WHICH ITS SO COOL???? I KNOW I STATED A BIT OVER IN THE SERVER AND VCS, BUT I LOVE UR OWN TSB 'HEADCANON' DESIGN U HAVE EVEN IF ITS JUST MINOR CHANGES I ADORE IT AND GUH THE WAY U DREW EMMET IS SO ADORABLE AND I LOVE THE "THUNK" FROM HEXSY HAHAIUHJEWDSGYHJEFDSUG WACK HIM AGAIN! AGAIN AGAIN!!! /SILLY

and get that disgusting tv man in the sky off my screen ugh /j /silly

all in all, you're a freak... butt... your actually pretty cool and fun to interact with even if im at my lowest battery percentage, your silly jokes always make- and worsen /j- my day.

i love ya nova 💛

and stop asking for hex3 istfg /JOKE /SILLY

BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!

GUESS WHOSE 22???? YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yhappy birthday thomas!! :) love ya to death, man!

MNAGO IM HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

(yap session??? fr???? where is it??? It's under the cut...... 😈)

i mean what who said that

erm

*throws a bajillion hammers at you before dropping this*

Lalalla

IM SO HAPPY I CAN SHOW THIS TO THE WORLD IM. FREE!!!!!

Also certified yap sesh coming in don't mind me..........

*Clears throat*

Tomm, Thomas, TSB, Theodore (/j), how do I find the words for you? How do I find the words to describe quite literally the person I looked up to and has perhaps changed my life the most in the last six months?

Ever since I got back into SMG4, you've been my literal idol and inspiration. You were someone I looked up to greatly. And if you were to ask me five months back if I thought we'd be friends, I'd say no.

Much like everyone, I discovered you through your comics, but I'm pretty sure I discovered you through your TSB lore comics! Ever since then, I fell in LOVE with your style! The way you pace your comics, the carefully written lore, your coloring style, I was in awe of it. I'd never seen someone incorporate a watercolor-like artstyle in their work before, so you can imagine how much my head exploded at the sight of it. /silly

Around September, I decided to try and reach out and make myself known to you, and I was so nervous tagging you for the first time. I was petrified at the idea of angering you because I tagged you. But you loved my silly little doodle of TSB! I can not tell you how giddy I was seeing that the Tomm tiredsmashbros reblogged my art.

Slowly, I got more involved in your community and, most importantly, you. Learning about TSB'S lore and joking about him and Hexsy meeting was a highlight on my Tumblr. Seeing you draw Hexsy for the first time gave me a heart attack (/j). Knowing that you agreed on the silly idea of humbling TSB with the ring light tail was so fun, and I felt like I connected with you on a deeper level! And don't get me started on the animations!

Every time you reblogged one of my animations and complimented my tweening skills or how my art was visually appealing, it helped me to see that I did the best I did at the time and it came out good, even if I was internally beating myself down for the timing on an animation or missing a pixel. It didn't matter. You helped me realize that I'm good at animating.

Then came your one thousand follower celebration and the Discord server.

You probably already know this, but holy SHIT I was nervous to join. Heck, it took me a week after the party to finally get the courage to join! In my head, I was thinking that I'd probably not talk a lot in the server or that the server would be small (man, I was wrong about that GEGHSHSH). But it wasn't!

Getting used to the fact that I was literally face-to-face figuratively with the man who had inspired me to keep talking and making stuff about Hexsy made me so nervous.

Honestly, you terrified me. (/hj)

But after months of hopping into VC and getting to talk with you, I realized we were similar and that you weren't that terrifying as my brain made you out to be. You're smart, creative, passionate, funny, silly, and a bunch of traits that would make this paragraph look like one of yours. /SILLY /J

Being able to communicate that we both loved Isaacwhy, especially after me thinking I wouldn't find a SOUL who loved Isaacwhy as well was a shock to me, but a good one at that. I was finally free to yap to someone about the silly guys who stayed up like lunatics in a Discord call. /j

Tomm, you have been a great influence on so many of us. Neo, Lore, Doodle, Vapo, me. You have been one of the keys to helping me become involved with SMG4 and feeling welcome. You've made me feel comfortable shipping Hexsy with SMG3 and SMG4. You inspired me to give Hexsy lore.

And I don't know where I'd be without you. To be fair, I don't think I want to know. I'm happy knowing that I met you in this universe and that you're my friend.

But AGGSHSGGSBSB I'M YAPPING I'M PULLING A YOU I GOTTA CONTAIN MYSELF HEHEHE

In short, Tomm. Thank you.

Happy birthday! :D

[faerykingdom]

DAY 31 ━ J. POTTER, S. BLACK, R. LUPIN, L. EVANS, & M. MCKINNON

word count: 768 words 

pairing: poly marauders and girls/reader

warnings: not really smutty

You were exhausted. Stupid exams. 

You will be glad when your exams are over. You’ve been studying forever. And you hadn’t even had your first exam. 

You trudged up the lengthy stairs, your arms filled with text books, and your sack laid over your shoulder limply. Your tired eyes stared ahead, seeing everything but seeing nothing. 

You felt a harsh bump to your shoulder, sending your sack and books onto the floor. “Shit,” you whispered, immediately dropping to your knees. Overwhelmed tears flooded your eyes, on the edge of spilling. 

You grunt, hardly able to push yourself up off the floor. It should be illegal to assign so much homework. Exams should be illegal.

It’s like professors never want their students to sleep. 

Once you finished climbing up the stairs leading to your dorm, - you had almost tipped back at least three times - you used your elbow to push open your door. A small sigh escaping your lips when you toss your things onto your bed. 

The dorm was empty; the girls were spending the nice day outside. Your girlfriends - Marlene, and Lily - had told you that they - along with Mary, Alice and Dorcas - were going after classes. 

You had probably two hours before they came back to get ready for dinner. That was enough time to get at least two assignments done. 

Another sigh, and you were pulling your textbook, and quill towards you. You’ll go from smallest to biggest. That way you might be able to get half of the assignments done. 

“Stupid OWLS,” you grumble.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

You were bent over your paper, your quill clutched tightly in your hands. Ink was splotched on your hands, and every once in a while you had to stop writing so that your hand didn’t cramp. 

You were on your second assignment. Your first one - History of Magic - had taken longer than you had expected. Now you’re on Transfiguration. This stupid essay is insane. What the hell is McGonagall thinking?

This is almost as bad as math. 

You were so focused on your work, that you didn’t notice the door opening. 

“Shit, how the hell does that even work?” you mumble. “Transfiguration should not be this hard.” You jumped nearly out of your skin when a hand landed on your shoulder, “Holy shit.” You spun around, your hand flying to your chest. Lily looked down at you with her hands on her hips, her beautiful red hair pulled up in a tight bun. “Oh my god, don’t scare me like that Lil’s!” 

“This is what you’ve been doing instead of meeting us at the Great Lake?” she asked, her voice stern.

“I had to study!” you defend yourself. You were in no mood for a punishment just because you didn’t want to go outside. Sure, you had said you would meet them and your boyfriends down there, but you had really needed to get these assignments done. “I have like three more essays to do! I couldn’t just go outside and ignore them! You know how I am, if I don’t do it when I have time to, I won’t do it at all. And we have OWLS, and I can’t slack--”

“Woah,” Marlene interrupted, placing her hands on your shoulders and pulling you back to rest against her chest. “Chill, m’love, you’re fine.”

You closed your eyes as Marls ran her fingers down your head, petting you. A small sigh left your lips and let yourself relax against her. You didn’t pay any attention to anything else. 

“What do we have here?” your boyfriend, Sirius Black, said his voice laced with amusement. 

Your eyes shot open, and you jolted forward slightly. What is with these assholes scaring you?

In front of you, stood all of your boyfriends, and Lily. Each of them had their hands on their hips, all sporting scolding scowls. (Except for Sirius and James since they could never take anything seriously.) 

“Our puppy,” started Lily, “has been studying all day when she knows that we have a specific time set for that.”

You lightly scoff, “What’s wrong with studying?”

“Hey,” snapped Remus, your eyes flying over to him, “Watch the attitude.”

“What’s wrong with it,” said Lily, “is that you get overwhelmed with it easily, and don’t do as well as usual.” 

Before you could say anything, Marlene used her grip on you to lock you into place as Lily crawled towards you. Lily grabbed your chin, and forced you to look up at her, “And I think that a pretty puppy like you shouldn’t have to think at all.”

[bluebudgie]

Snatching this character ask game to answer it in its entirety bc I'm currently sick in bed and this sounds like good distraction.

Here's your chance to read some lab rat character snippets.

Answering for Lahpp bc the brainworms got me bad the last 2 years.

A. What nicknames do they get called?

None, really. Unless employee numbers count as nicknames. I've made a joking comment about how Petthri would start calling him Gecko for absolutely no logical reason other than me being amused that the man's voice claim actor played a character with that name in a super niche musical. This isn't canon. But it makes listening to relevant songs funny.

B. Describe their family dynamic.

Non-existant. Didn't even have an official legal guardian until Rata Sum authorities required related paperwork for school stuff. There was the subkrewe that handled surveillance of his 'progress' and the head of the project was sort of 'in charge' of him but whatever relationship they had was nothing remotely comparable to a family. I think to this day he's got the hardest time wrapping his head around the concept of family relationships, other than of course the purely biological explanation.

C. What’s their weirdest habit or quirk?

Does consuming more coffee than anyone feasibly should count? I'm not even sure this man drinks anything else. Probably, but seriously unsure. Just don't question it, it hasn't killed him yet.

D. What was their high school college experience like?

This is one of those "20k essay; 1000 different amv scenarios" topics. In short: difficult, exhausting, but not as bad as it could have been.

On a social level he always felt like the odd one out and didn't have much contact to the other students, but he was never actively disliked or anything of the sort. Him being generally rather distant and observant probably intimidated a few people, as well as him being Inquest. Group projects went smoothly though, and interactions were superficially friendly. Just comparatively rare.

Work-wise he had to put in so much more effort than many others because of his disabilities, all while trying to be as stealthy as possible about it so noone would notice. He excelled in many challenges, didn't manage to hide all of it however; some things he simply couldn't do. Uncomfortable for him.

He was a really good student overall.

Also as a side anecdote, he got the typical "can you speak up please" a lot even though he was a front row regular. Soft-spoken guy.

E. What is their love language?

He's the "invite someone to go out for dinner" type. Spend some good quality time. He might get invested in the relevant person's interests too. Ask about them, enable some rambling, or ideally an interesting discussion.

F. How do they handle conflict?

That depends entirely on the kind of coflict and who or what is involved. Can range from "take the lead and try to find the most efficient solution" to "remove himself from the situation and just not deal with it at all".

G. What’s their greatest talent?

Developed mad acting & pokerface skills. He can smile through the most annoying social situations and you wouldn't guess he hates every single second of it. If he actively wants to give you that impression, that is. Sometimes he just doesn't bother.

H. Where is their favourite place to be?

Not sure if he has a consciously picked favourite place but he's comfortable enough in the small studio room connected to his lab. Made it a decently livable place. It's tiny (very tiny) but that's fine, he doesn't need much space. It's a place of peace and quiet, and that's what matters.

I. What makes them feel safe?

Good question! Next question.

J. What is their greatest weakness?

He's a coward who resigned himself to a life in a corrupt, hateful, criminal system. He was target of that very same system's bigotry for ages but he turns a blind eye on it out of fear and a lack of willingness to change anything. He's content being a simple cog in the machine, not caring about what its greater purpose is. is this what Camus calls philosophical suicide

Maybe one day he'll overcome the cowardice to face some difficult truths. Probably not.

K. What is their greatest strength?

If he says he'll get shit done, he gets it done. He's got an incredible amount of perseverance.

Especially in his teenage years this often meant choosing the path of more resistance simply to spite the people who would assume he wouldn't manage certain things. Even if those people would never actually know. He had to at least prove it to himself under the guise of acting out of spite. Is that even a strength anymore or actually a flaw? A strength born from flawed thinking?

L. What is their secrets to happiness?

Don't have anything change, find comfort in living the convenient lie. The illusion of happiness is good enough.

M. How do they handle competition?

If it's the kind of "who wins the monthly nonfatal pool by putting the most life subjects in a vegetative state" small-ego-competition then he simply doesn't care. Not because he has any moral issues with it but because he think it's a waste of time and just distracts from the actual tasks at hand.

If it's "the events in Cantha have put you in a physical and mental state that prevents you from working; and staying away on sick leave for a prolongued amount of time will eventually get you replaced despite decades of dedication" sort of competition then he doesn't handle it well at all. And he doesn't even believe anyone else could do his job better than him. Somehow that actually makes it worse.

N. What are their hidden talents?

Music. Got curious about the general topic in college. And in true spiteful (big fat disclaimer: asshole statement) "Oh you're severely HoH so this is clearly not for you" fashion, he decided this is exactly for him to get invested in. He got really into the theory part especially but also picked up an instrument (undecided which one. the decision has been haunting me for months.) to play.

Later when he met Luqqah they found out it's an interest they have in common so they spent a lot of time just either discussing or analyzing theoretical concepts or actually making some music. Luqqah taught him how to sing over the years! It's something he had wanted to learn well before he met her but very much lacked the confidence to start on his own.

He hasn't lost that passion over all these years, even if he didn't get to share it with anyone in a while. Post-EoD music trio incoming?

O. What motivates them?

In the past: Mostly fear with a good portion of spite.

Now: Mostly habit. Some underlying fears.

P. What advice would they give to their younger self?

If he could look past his own facade he'd likely tell his younger self to keep kindling at least a bit of that spiteful fire he had.

He does sometimes feel like he's lacking more "bite" the older he gets.

Q. Do they have a signature look or fashion?

Always got that eye piece on covering his left eye. You'll not encounter him without it. If you do, something's either wrong or you've somehow invaded into private space.

He spends the majority of his time working which means the majority of the time you'll find him in a labcoat. He also keeps his hair tied up for practical reasons.

His "casual" outfits are still surprisingly formal looking. He wants to leave a decent impression, you know. I'm awful at describing clothes so I'll skip this one until I one day inevitable draw it, but he's big on waistcoats and likes different shades of brown.

R. How tall are they?

Listen friends I'm really bad at understanding the gw2 race heights and putting them in perspective, but I assigned him a confident 98 cm (3'2") which in my world view is somewhere in the average middle. Not super short, not tall.

S. What’s their relationship like with their parents?

Somewhat answered in the family dynamics question. As for his biological parents, he never knew them. His -on paper- legal guardian wasn't much of a parental figure. Did it fuck him up growing up without any real guiding figure to look up to? Sure. Did it take time for him to understand that this is not the normal experience every child has? Unsure if he actually ever fully understood. Rationally he does, but emotionally this is a different matter.

T. What are their favourite foods?

He's really gotten into wasabi.

U. What do they like to do in their spare time?

See the music answer. Also reading an interesting book in a quiet environment is always a good pastime.

V. What’s their biggest pet peeve?

So he's generally really good at keeping his cool but he's got absolutely zero (0) patience for several people talking over each other in the same time. There's a reason he demanded his own lab space when everyone moved over to the CoE.

W. What’s their favourite sport?

If dancing is considered a sport (I believe it is?) Petthri might eventually get him to be interested enough as a spectactor. Let that be a future arc.

Otherwise literally no interest in any at all.

X. What’s their biggest fear?

Death. And I don't mean it in a 'most people find thinking about their own mortality uncomfortable' way, I mean it in a seriously phobic way. It keeps him up at night. He's had numerous seriously bad panic attacks over it. Based important decisions on it.

There was a time of his life it got somewhat better but it's catching up to him again recently.

Y. What physical object do they value most?

Whatever omious instrument I'll decide on that he owns will probably be valuable to him. I have no idea otherwise.

Z. What’s their relationship status?

Officially single (and it will stay that way). Unofficially complicated.

For the really curious: I suppose their current relationship is best described as "friends with benefits". No they have not kissed yet. I'm gonna first have to figure out when and how and why and if at all and

That said I have this shitpost scene-that'll-never-happen in my head of Luqqah meeting Lahpp and Petthri during the whole EoD disaster and in a moment of quiet she and Lahpp sit together. And she looks him in the eyes and goes "So are you two boyfriends?" And before he can even try to defend himself she continues "You break up with me because you figure out you're gay. And then you're gay for that?" Poor Petthri.

[lifea16]

So I watched the video out of morbid curiosity, Not commenting there as that boosts engagement and I know I won't change his mind

Stuff so far (what I've been thinking)

Apologies if this is disorganized, blame my ADHD for that lol /lh /j

"Blitz is a chronic narcissistic heartbreaker" 1. I'm choosing to interpret this as him claiming that Blitz has NPD In which case, I'm so sorry to Blitz that God gave you 2 cluster B disorders (NPD and BPD) 2. I can't wait to hear about this dude's opinions on bad communicators in relationships and especially aro bad communicators. Even if Blitz is AlloAllo, his experiences are relatable and resonant too alot of Aro(spec) Allos, And this dude clearly likes Stolas, and Stolas is also a bad communicator, so why do you like one bad communicator but not the other?

Sidenote this footage that he's using is making Blitz look so cute and I'm honestly forgetting this is an Anti-Blitz video when I pause it xD

This dude sounds like how I write Blitz's self hatred 💀

...He did apologize to Verosika, just five fucking minutes later did you zone out after getting your 'Blitz is an asshole' proof??

Hellborn likely see human death different than we do, he probably just thinks of it as 'aggressive teleportation'

..Abuse Verosika?? Where?? Point me to the timestamp where he abuses her (don't count the "manipulation", he apologized 5 minutes later)

If he wanted Stolas to be miserable he would have stolen Stolas' mic and sung an Anti-Stolas song rather than just sitting there feeling terrible and tearing up

Please, stop using Narcissism to mean Abuse. NPD is a real thing that affects real people and not everyone with NPD is abusive. If you receive help for it you can end up living a mostly normal life

Oh, if Stolas doesn't do a thing anymore it's fine, but when Blitz stops doing a bad thing it's "bad writing" /s

... Blitz has not thrown one external pity party. He is in fact, quite the opposite. He only gets emotional when his emotions boil over. He never intentional uses it to manipulate (neither does Stolas but that's besides the point)

As the daughter of a phycologist, him throwing out diagnostic terms like middle school insults is probably gonna give me an aneurysm /hyp

Oh, ya he literally cannot accept Blitz growing as a character. He's now saying 'Oops' was OOC 🤦🏻‍♀️

I don't hate Verosika, but hosting an Anti-Blitz party after like 5 years of being broken up is not healthy. She needs to move on, if she struggles with that she needs therapy for her inability to move on

Has this dude ever heard of 'Hookups'. Also, Philophobia (The phobia / fear of love) is entirely on Romantic Love, not Platonic or Sexual.

... HAVE YOU HEARD OF A VILLIAN PROTAGINIST

As ironic as this is coming from a minor, CHILDREN SHOULD NOT BE WATCHING THIS SHOW, I hope most minors who are watching this at least know basic fucking morals. Make the ones who don't watch Dora or something

"Children will watch this clearly 16-18+ show, therefore you must accommodate the children's lack of moral understanding"

As someone who has been / is being bullied, this video was just straight up bullying

...Wow I got so passionate about Blitz defense I wrote a fucking essay lol

This is probably the worst video I have ever seen on YouTube.

This guy is yet another one of those so-called Hellaverse "critics" who hates Vivziepop with a burning passion and hates almost every character in Helluva Boss. (But Blitzø is his biggest target of all, as this garbage video suggests.)

First off, he literally says Striker and Stella aren't as bad as Blitzø, that Blitzø is irredeemable and he's never ever gonna change, legit thinks every single guest at Verosika's party really was THAT heartbroken and totally aren't just overreacting, and that Stolas and Verosika did nothing wrong.

Fuck this piece of shit, he's just yet another Danny Motta.

Another one! More proof that he's a toxic Stolas stan reminiscent of Danny Motta who thinks Blitzø is worse than Stella because he yelled at his favorite rich pretty bird boy.

[daredevilexchange]

Want to be featured here? Head to this page and fill in the form!

See what this is about here, or if you’re using the app here.

What’s your fannish ID? Probably known as @mostly_just_jo on ins/twitter My tumblr id "flamebird" came from a phase when I was obsessed with Nightwing lol

What types of fanworks do you create? I make drawings mostly! Making fanart is what drives me to be better at drawing actually I also write fics occasionally Ohh I don't know if this counts but I'm trying to make MBTI analysis for the characters I like

What are your favourite types of fanworks, when you’re not creating? I love reading fanfics!!! I actually don't look at fanart as much as I read fics 

What do you like in particular about this fandom? My favorite characters are Matt and Frank (they're also my fav ship in this fandom)! It's all in my head, but I always like to imagine how Frank's begrudging respect and Matt's weary relentlessness tether them together. I almost like the impossibility of it, how Frank doesn't think anything remotely like love would happen to him again, how Matt can't possibly imagine a happy ending with someone as bitter and different as Frank. I guess what I really want is to see a twisted relationship evolve into something like love when neither of them can believe that it can happen. But respectively, I'm starting to feel that Matt means a lot to me personally since I look up to him in many ways. I love how he turned all that darkness, pain, and suffering into his determination to protect, to do good in this world. He has this air of "I know who I am and I've figured myself out," but in reality when he faces his adversaries, he is challenged to face his own dark side again and again. He has been broken, beaten, backed into a corner, but he has never backed down. He never lets one bad day define who he is. I love how he comes out of these challenges (not without the help of those who love him!) being even more certain about who he is. I love how he is realistic but also hopelessly idealistic at the same time. Matt sees the world as an unfair one, but he does all he can to make it better, to protect the people in it. I see how he wants to be loved but is also afraid of that love, and I like that in S3 he finally learns that love is what steadies him and gives him strength to be who he is, that he should embrace it instead of running from it. Frank is so cool I love him ;_; ok in reality I can write a whole essay about why I like him but I think I've talked enough for now haha 

Do you like participating in fan events? I have never participated in any before! Mostly because these events have a deadline (despite probably a very lenient one), and I crumble under the stress of a deadline :/

What about your creating process? I like listening to music or actor interviews while I'm drawing...but I also rant to my friends every five minutes about 1) how much I hate drawing, 2) how painful it is, and 3) how much I suck at it lol

Do you interact a lot with other fans? YES I talk to my fandom friends on discord a lot!! (as crazydiamond#0100 ) I wish I get to talk to my fav writers more but I also fear that I'd scare them off with my overwhelming enthusiasm

Is there any particular piece you'd like to showcase for this post? https://flamebird-j.tumblr.com/post/673870801083219968/catt-purdock-thanks-to-ceterisparibus116-for Probably this! Because it's my fav drawing of Matt so far 

Do you have other fandoms you’d like to talk about? Honestly I'm just into Marvel in general at the moment! I also love Peter Parker, Stephen Strange, and Tony Stark a lot (lol what an understatement)

Is there anything else you want to tell us about yourself? Come talk to me about Matt and Frank! Or any of the other characters from DD because I love them all dearly ;_;

Where can your fanworks be found? I tag "#my art" on tumblr for my drawings, but I also post more often on instagram https://www.instagram.com/mostly_just_jo /

Thank you, @flamebird-j !

banner by @context-is-for-kingpins !

[ID on a white background, four black triangles that look like spotlights from above. Each illuminates one of the Defenders silhouetted in white: Jessica, Luke, Danny, Matt. A hand on the left is holding a pen writing the words Content Creator Spotlight. There is a little Punisher skull on the pen. End ID]

[fenristheorem]

Asks/Headcanons/Stories

Rules, Details and Other Important Information

Updated May 22nd, 2021

Status: Currently NOT accepting requests / asks 

See my Masterlist here!

***The ask box will be closed within a couple days of the updated post date (April 30th). It will be closed for a couple of weeks while I bring my request count down (it’s reached over 30 requests) and due to my schedule limiting how much time I can spend writing. Any new asks I receive will be immediately posted stating the box is closed (although I’m still open to receiving comments and other questions via ask box). 

How long for an answer: About a month depending on how much work will go into it, my askbox is quiet as of late but I have many that I’m working on currently. I have almost 20 drafts and a nearly equal amount of untouched requests in my ask box.

(Rules under the cut)

Hello! If you’ve reached this post you may be interested in asking/requesting something - go ahead and do so! Just make sure you keep in mind the information I list here because if an ask/request is outside my rules I probably won’t write it (there may be some exceptions heavily depending on certain factors). Therefore, please read everything (even if it’s just skimming) so you get a basic idea of what to expect from me.

The only fandom I write for is Eldarya, if you couldn’t tell by my posts lol.

Who do I write for? (Romantically)

Primarily Lance, he’s the only route I follow on my two accounts and I’ve spent a lot of personal time nit-picking and analyzing his character so I’d say I have a thorough understanding of who he is and how to write him.

I'm second most comfortable writing Valkyon, he was my route in Origins. Even though Origins is past now, I'm still happy to write about him

I’m not very interested in the other routes, but I have a general idea of what they’re like, so I’ll write for Leiftan and Nevra, too (although what I write differs. I’ll always write friendly or fluffy relationship stuff, but I draw the line around in-depth, intimate asks. I don’t know them too well so I don’t mind writing semi-vague things about them, but they won’t be very specific). I’m more comfortable writing Leiftan than Nevra overall.

I won’t write for Mathieu as I don’t know him well enough, he seems to be a pretty basic character but I doubt that’s the case so I don’t want to write something I know will likely be nowhere near relevant to who he is.

I may write for Koori, but not as of right now; I’ll update this if I decide to do so later when I know her better.

Other than what’s detailed here, I won’t write romantically for any other characters.

Have a request that’s not romantic? Awesome, I’ll write general headcanons for any of the characters.

General headcanons basically means anything not too intimate (or an ask that covers many different topics, but that's besides the point right now), I’ll write friendly requests, but not romantic ones. Have a request that seems to walk the fine line between friendship and a platonic / fluffy relationship? Go ahead and ask anyways, I may write it and even it I don’t, it helps provide an example of what I will or won’t write.

I'm happy to write any characters as Origins instead of New Era, just be sure to specify in your ask.

What do I write? (I will add warnings for NSFW and certain angst or violence prompts and how heavy it is in the writing)

Nearly anything, really

Romance

NSFW 

Friendships/friendly fun stuff

Angst

Violence

A lot of others

There may be some things I’m not thinking of currently, but again, I’ll write pretty much anything (and I’ll keep updating this list in time)

That being said, I’m comfortable writing some genres with some characters and others not so much. But again, if unsure, ask anyways.

What DON’T I write?

Non-con (no consent)

Yandere

Suicide (I’ll write how it effects others, but I won’t write the specifics on how an actual character does it)

How to specify your ask:

So I’m a very specific person, and I can go on very long rants; just take this headcanon and this second one as an example. However, I know some people prefer small and short, so I’m asking that in your request/ask you specify which type of writing you want so I’m not constantly thinking ‘oh try and keep it short - but maybe one more bullet - oh god how did this get so long? - m a y b e   I   s h o u l d   j u s t   w r i t e   t h i s   a s   a   s c e n a r i o  - did they want headcanons or a scenario/short story?’ Don’t care about how long my response to your ask is? Cool, don’t worry about specifying length, just send your ask (but seriously, be prepared for something close to a novel lol).

In order of shortest to longest:

Mini-headcanons - Usually the fastest to write - Not as ‘mini’ as you may think. It’s not entirely short, I’ll still put in my fair share of thoughts, but I won’t go on major rants about one thing during the ask. It’s a very straightforward / to the point ask. Not interested in possibly reading an essay on why I think this is this and how I feel this effected this person? This is pretty good for you then.

Normal headcanons / headcanons (otherwise known as medium or long headcanons) - Writing time can differ based on how much I rant, but will usually take longer than mini-headcanons - Are you ok if you end up reading a small novella or a post with so many words it rivals a dictionary? Awesome, this is the type for you! Depending on the ask, I can’t promise that I’ll go on major rants that take centuries to write, but it gives me the freedom to specify and clarify things, while also adding in a few of personal comments. This type of ask really allows me to be creative and provide examples or special situations with the characters.

Scenarios / short stories - Will most likely take longer than both types of headcanons - This type of response doesn’t take place in bullets. It’s exactly as it says - a story. I won’t include my personal opinions / theories in this as stories are a narrative, not an analysis for me. This type is a bit restrictive for me as I will press myself to stay as close to canon as possible, improvising my own theories / headcanons only when necessary to bridge aspects within the story (unless otherwise specified in the ask), but other than that I don’t like to intrude my own thoughts / theories in a story. Good for readers who want drama, descriptions, scenarios, or who feel headcanons just won’t fit the ask this time. These are typically a couple hundred words long for me.

Like mentioned above - if you don’t care about how it’s formatted, don’t worry about specifying anything or just add in the ask that you’re flexible to any format. In this case, I’ll choose what format to write in based on what I feel can fit best the ask while being written well. My default is usually headcanons, though.

Other important information:

This’ll be updated more in time

Have any specific details you want about the ask? Be sure to mention it!

I’m fine with writing asks with gender-neutral characters and such. Writing the S/O’s and reader-inserts are female by default for me, but I have nothing against writing different gender alignments

Writing takes time, especially since I try my best to write quality on every ask. It will usually take me no longer than 5 days to a week to write nearly anything, however, if my ask box is busy or there’s a particularly long request that I’m writing, it could take me within 2 to 3 weeks to write some things. I’ll try to keep it first-come-first-serve, but as some asks may be shorter than others, or I’m feeling a bit more productive on certain asks than others, response time may change a bit. I’ll keep a general idea on how long to expect a response post underneath the status listed at the top of this post

I will write for OC's (original characters)! If you're comfortable with it, I would recommend you send these asks not anonymously; I'll probably DM you to get more information. Otherwise, be sure to DM me saying what your ask was so I can connect the details you give me with the specific ask. I don't mind receiving some details via Anon ask, but it would greatly restrict me if I can't clarify some things so I can write better. That being said; if you would like your ask to be anonymous but need to DM me for details, I promise I'll keep your identity a secret. It's none of my business why you wanted to send anonymously, so I won't go revealing anything.

I have a tendency to swear, but only to stress points humorously or sexually. It’s really only to add to the tone of the story. However, if you’d like to request no swearing specifically then I’ll honor that.

With that: go ahead and ask! I always look forward to writing my next request!

Over all, I’ll write nearly anything, and if you’re unsure, just ask anyways and I’ll clarify if I’ll write it or not. And the more specific you are in your ask; the better I can write it (with reason, of course. Too much limitation will hinder).

Have a request? Ask them here!

Submissions are open! Just click on me!

[totallyimagines]

Ferid Bathory Nsfw Alphabet

A-Z nsfw alphabet, Essay

You know what your signing up for if you tap that keep reading button, no warnings needed then.

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

He’s amazing at it. He’ll run you a bath or get anything you need. He doesn’t mind being sweaty though, so if you don’t want to move after sex- that’s ok because he’ll definitely be the type to just cuddle you after. Or praise you on how well you were doing. (doubt he gets any sleep, you’ll always wake up to him staring at you, one way or another. Or maybe you’ll wake up to him not there but you never get to see him sleep.) if your on punishment though, no aftercare. Here’s a win-win situation.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Maybe his hands, tounge, or fangs will do. He can’t choose so those are his top three. Maybe because all three get some type of reaction out of you. For you, it’s probably your blood or neck. Well, it’s something that he can chew on and still get a reaction out of you from doing something he ‘loves’. Your collarbones are probably littered in love bites and his special bites.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Cums anywhere that’s part of you, he just like the thought of claiming you as his own- just like that. He’ll hate for it to go to waste. The thought of claiming you his, always comes to mind when he sees his cum all over you.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He’s probably sniffed your underwear at least, once. Your scent is on them and drives him wild so yeah he’s probably going to do that. Also, he wants to do it when your on your cycle. Now that, won’t stay a dirty secret for long because it’ll eventually just happen. Face sitting too, that WILL NEVER STAY A DIRTY SECRET. Because he’ll definitely just say it out bluntly and then if you agree to it- there you go.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s pretty experienced, he’s been around for a while now. What do you expect? He’s probably lured, hundreds of people towards him. And gave them that Chick-fil-A combo but nothing compared what he has planned for you. He also never tells you how many lovers he’s had in the past and it leaves you more than curious. But doubt, he’ll ever tell you no matter how much you beg and plead.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Probably missionary because of how intimate it is and also because he gets to see your reactions. Also because of the neck biting, he’ll never be able to get over that. He can also here all the small praises spilling from your mouth, like he doesn’t have advanced hearing- ahahah. Besides that, doggie and probably you riding him. It seems to make him a little more cocky when you try to play the dom. Don’t get ahead of yourself now, he’s still the dom but try. He’ll let you have your moment, it probably won’t last long but you’ll definitely get it.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Hard to explain, he’s not laughing with you- he’s laughing at you. He’ll make little jokes here and there, but they are for him. Not for you. But other than that, he’s intimate but kind of not. Like I mentioned, he can say anything he wants and it stills turns you on because he seems to be talking to you or himself but either way you can’t seem to focus. So, it’s just a bunch of sexy mess going on. Other than that, he would probably say some things that would make you laugh but only make you more aroused on how he’s saying them. Yeah, it’s confusing.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Nope, presentation. Like I said, he may have lured some people into getting what he wants. So, no he doesn’t have any hair and your not even sure if it grows down there. You have to at least be trimmed down there, I’m not sure he would mind the hair but if he’s going to eat you out, at least be trimmed. Although, other than that- your okay.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Lets see here, he can be intimate when he wants to be. When he’s focusing on your pleasure, he can be more than focused but when it comes to his...he really can care less. Especially if he’s punishing you, he’ll probably just use his fingers and talk the whole time because that’s what he does. Probably just smirk as he’s doing this too, not really caring what you say.

J = Jack off (Masturbation headcanon)

As if. Not sure that this man would jack off. Especially if he has you, he can literally ask you to fulfill each other’s sexual desires and needs. Seriously though, he’s busy as it is and I doubt vampires think much about sexual pleasure. It doesn’t really ‘satisfy’ them as much. Blood does the trick, of course. Or their fangs but then again nothing really humanly but doesn’t mean that can’t get pleasure from it.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Biting kink, we already he had this before he knew he had this. It’s something that turns him own so of course he’ll do it. Blood play too, not much of it though if you dislike it. Worshiping or praising kink, it’s just another way of expressing or maybe just to tease you. But other than that, he’s pretty experimentve, he’s a really kink guy so he’s willing to learn and try out new things. Maybe a Size kink as well, he likes the size difference between you too. Doubt he would try something that you dislike. Well that’s if it’s not something that’s going to hurt you- physically. (Ahahaha, just kidding- he probably won’t ever spare you after he’s done)Maybe some mirror sex, too. He seems to get off at your submissive and ashamed side but if it’s too much- he won’t do it as much.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Anywhere in the manor, the risk of you two getting caught also turns him on. I’m pretty sure you’ve done it in every room of the manor, maybe being loud or not- either way. If You can get caught, he’s in. He’ll probably tease you in public too, maybe because he’s leaving today to go on a mission and he’s not going to be there to satisfy your needs. So, of course- he’ll tease and come back and don’t tell him you’ve already satisfied yourself. Which I’m pretty sure he’ll know- he can probably smell it. So no use lying now, is there? He probably will leave you hanging, which- like it or not, kind of pisses you off but then again sometimes he could care less. Cocky man here. Maybe shower sex too, or bath- which ever one. Less of a mess, so it’s actually better well that’s until water gets on the floor.

M = Motivation

You leaving him thirsty, especially in public. He doesn’t know what to do when you tease him in public, how did you turn on that quick. This was probably result in some harsh punishment but who wouldn’t, it just makes him more of the DOM. But other than that, motivation can come from anything. It can come from your blood, you simply doing something ‘humanly’ or you just being submissive/cute in general. Keep in mind, if your living with him- your living with a lot of thirsty vampires. So, then again it doesn’t really help your situation if someone like ‘another vampire’ wants you, which Ferid wouldn’t allow because your his. So his motivation can actually come from anywhere, especially you being cocky. This can be counted as a turn on because he’ll definitely be waiting for you. Or he’ll just sit back and watch you in amusement until you cross the line then he has to put you back in your place.

N = No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Share you, with all these hungry vampires in this manor. Never. He hates the thought of someone even looking at you the wrong way. And if you want to have something like that, he won’t agree with you at all. He honestly just doesn’t like sharing but doesn’t mean it can’t happen. He wouldn’t share you with someone he’s not ‘close’ with. So, it’s possible but it’ll take a lot of convincing for him maybe not as much as the other person but lots of convincing. Anything that would hurt you like really bad, he doesn’t really take it as far as where all you feel is pain and no pleasure.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He prefers giving and not receiving, he doesn’t find much pleasure in receiving so he’d rather give. Any boy oh boy, does he work wonders between those legs of yours. You’ll be pretty much overstimulated and unable to think at any point where he’s between your legs. Very skilled at this, he deserves a Oscar because of how good he is. So, be expecting lots of receiving from this man.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Fast and can be slow. But he’s more of a rough and fast person because that’s just him. He can be more than romantic though, so if you want slow and gentle. He can do that. (Also this is probably what he does to most people-) maybe he builds up to bite them. Because biting you will happen in slow or fast sex. It’ll probably happen more in slow, because it just adds to the pleasure and he just gets to feed. Yeah, that’s probably all he’s living for during intimate-slow sex.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Doubt that he’ll do this a lot, why do that when he’s got all the time in the world and when he’s practically- Da boss. So that’s a maybe on his part, prefers intimate and maybe long drawn out sex. But that can happen anywhere, maybe that’s why you guys took so long in the bathroom-

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Yes. Your speaking to a man who can jump on buildings and stop swords and throw people. But anyways, risk is definitely in his category-. Like I’ve mentioned, anywhere in the manor and probably outside the manor too. It just makes the risk better and it adds to his ego. Especially if your afraid to get caught with him, he’ll just tease you for it. And if he wants to, he always points to the nearest building for you guys to do it in. Well, that can be aided if it’s just the two of you on a mission. So nothing to worry about there, but yes risk he can do. Because he really doesn’t have any shame.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Lots of it, well according to this long ass eassy about Ferid Bathory. We can tell just by looking at him, he’s going to have some stamina. Although, I’m pretty sure every vampire has more speed than an usual human. I mean, they are advanced in every way so makes sense for him to have tons of stamina storaged. He won’t use all of it on you though because your just a mere human and you’ll probably more than likely pass out. Probably can last 3 or more rounds if you ask me. So, he’s probably just going to go for one or two rounds for you.

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Fang buzzer, my kind fellow. Vibarator, Ferid. It’s a vibrator. He’s actually kind of new to toys so no biggie there. He’ll probably just use them for self amusement, watching how much you squirm, just from a little ‘vibrator’. He’ll also play with the buttons while it’s between your legs and you’ll be feeling all types of things. No seriously, you’ll be overstimulated from a Vibrator, probably the last thing you want to be overstimulated by. I mean, it’s Ferid controlling it so that counts. Maybe a dildo, but would be a little offended by you hiding it from him. And would ask what you use it for. Explaining toys to him would be awkward, I mean explaining toys to anyone would just be awkward. So, please be open with this man. Though, he wouldn’t even try and use the dildo often. He probably try it on you once and say he can do better.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

More than Unfair, you wouldn’t be able to get a break at all and your face is what makes him want to tease you more. He’ll just be unfair by not satisfying your requests or denying to let you cum- multiple times. He’ll just give you a fancy grin at how irratated you get sometimes but would still push you at some point. Even if your in a bad mood today, he can still find some button to push on you, that’s makes you just-wanna-

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Depends on what your doing to him, I’ve mentioned, once again, that he doesn’t find much pleasure in ‘humanly’ pleasure. So as a human, you might have to find how to make him moan. Well, that isn’t so hard is it- well is it? You just have to find a few spots to make him moan, nothing difficult. How about his neck, don’t be shy bite him. It just makes him feel good like it would go you or any other human being. He probably has a sweet spot, but it’ll take a while to find it. Pull on his fangs, or lick them. Just do something to those fangs. He probably just really feels something when it comes to those, because he’ll slightly moan whenever you touch them. That’s probably the most your getting out of him, because he doesn’t want you to discover anymore.

W = Wild card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Watches you sleep, like all night. Well, that’s if he didn’t get up and leave. I don’t think he needs sleep, but also does it because he wants to at least ‘feel’ human. But then again, doesn’t want to be one. So, you’ll probably wake up In the middle of the night sometimes with red eyes glowing back at you. Which will probably freak you out but when you realize it’s just Ferid and not some ‘demon or other person in your room’. Your all cool again.

X = X-ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

He’s packing and yes we all know you want some. Although, would he let you get some?(doesn’t have much to put here- *red alert*)

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

He doesn’t really have a high sex drive but I’m certain you’ll wake up in his bed most of the week, thinking about how the hell did you get here? And what the hell happened last night? Doubt he’ll tell you but ok, nothing suspicious. Even when he’s with you, his sex drive only went up a tiny bit. He’s more of just a tease and if you are horny, he’ll actually only focus on your pleasure. He probably won’t take of any of his clothes though, so foreplay only- probably:/

Z = Zzz (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Nope, you won’t be able to see this man go to sleep before you do. It’s rare to wake up before him though, well that’s if he even does go to sleep. So catching him sleeping right after sex, isn’t possible.

[ginnympotter]

The Streak

A/N: Hello, friends! While we’re all stuck in our houses, thought I’d write a fun little J/L drabble, inspired by this kissing prompt list. Hope you enjoy, and stay safe and healthy! :)

He just needs to force his feet to keep moving forward. He feels it would be going too far to ignore her altogether, so he offers a slight nod, avoiding her eyes, and walks right past her.

“Really, James?” she sighs incredulously. 

Yes, really, he thinks, but keeps his mouth shut. He’s still mad at her.

Furious, in fact. 

And he is determined, for once, not to waiver. But in order to succeed, he must not look at her.

Looking at her always makes him crack.

Lily knows this, of course. She knows everything about him. Which is what James has always wanted, but sometimes she knows him too well, which puts him at a disadvantage when they are competing against one another, which they do with pretty much everything. And although he is genuinely cross with her, in times like these it feels like a competition as to who will give in first. And so he must march on and not look back.

He melts a bit at her touch as she grabs hold of his wrist before he could open the portrait hole. “Stop being a git and turn around,” she demands, although there is a softness behind her voice.

James huffs dramatically, but reluctantly obeys. He determinedly avoids her eyes.

“Must I really apologize?” she asks as he stares intently at her shoulder. 

He grunts in confirmation.

She loosens her grip on his wrist, slowly moving her hand down into his. He resists interlacing their fingers. “I’m sorry,” she tells him, and she sounds sincere. “Is this really worth breaking the streak?”

His heart flutters just the tiniest bit that she put it that way. The streak. So he isn’t the only one keeping count of their morning tradition that began a week after they started dating, and remains now, three months in. James and Lily are both early birds, so James wakes up early, waits for her by the portrait hole, tells her good morning, kisses her briefly, and then she says good morning back, and they go down to breakfast together. He suppresses a smile that is working to escape his lips, but she catches the way his lips twitch just the slightest. She interlocks their fingers for him.

“I, for one, did not break the streak three weeks ago even after you dueled Snape on the fourth-floor corridor over...what was it now? Looking at each other for more than half a millisecond?”

“He started it,” James could not help but retort under his breath.

Lily snorts. “I really wanted to break it then, but I didn’t.”

“No, you didn’t,” James acknowledges. “You just refused to talk to me for the rest of the day!”

“And yet, I still respected tradition,” she responds. He could see her lips lift slightly out of the corner of his eye. He so badly wants to look at her properly, but he continues to try standing his ground, although it is getting more unsteady by the moment. There is a pause. Then Lily squeezes his hand and says in a small voice, “I woke up early.”

Although James’s eyes are still fixed on her shoulder, he makes his features form a quizzical look. What did that have to do with anything? “You always wake up early,” he states.

“Not earlier than you,” she responds. “Except for today.”

“Why-”

“Merlin!” she shouts suddenly, grabbing him by his chin and forcing him to look at her in the face. Her eyes look sad, and his stomach lurches with guilt. “Just look at me, will you? I know what you’re doing.”

“Sorry,” he murmurs, and she lets go of his chin. “Why did you wake up earlier?”

She clears her throat and lets go of his hand, too. James fights the instinct to grab hers again. You’re mad, remember? He reminds himself weakly. I don’t want to be, though. “Because I didn’t want to break the streak.” She moves a loose piece of hair from her braid behind her ear, and now she’s the one looking away, down at his knees. “And I had a feeling you weren’t going to wait for me this morning after last night. So I had to be up before you, to wait for you instead.”

James frowns as he hears this, and a few sixth and fifth years walk past them and open the portrait hole. 

He exhales, feeling a twinge of shame. “I… I would’ve waited. Maybe I’d make a show of it, but I would’ve,” he admitted.  And it was true. He didn’t expect her to be down there already; he probably should have checked the map, which he was planning to use in the event he was down there before her, and then as she walked down just sit on his favorite chair by the fire moodily. He didn’t want to break it either, but he wanted to remain resolute. Now he doesn’t.

“Then how come you were just trying to walk straight past me? That seems like a blatant attempt to break it-”

“Because I’m an idiot,” he states, and she looks back up at him.

“Maybe,” she smiles slightly. “But so am I.”

“Just two idiots in love.” He allows himself to take her hand again. He chuckles in spite of himself. “Bloody hell, look at me. I can’t stay mad at you for longer than three minutes.”

“I really am sorry, James,” she reiterates. “I didn’t mean to blow you off like that, I was just exhausted and hungry- you know how I am when I’m hungry.”

“I know, but-”

“It’s not an excuse, just an explanation,” she asserts apologetically. “Which I should have provided last night instead of starting a row. I wanted to finish my essay and I was just on edge because of mum’s letter about Tuney’s engagement and I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. I felt even worse after that, and I knew I would’ve definitely felt better if I actually went back downstairs and stayed with you.”

“So why didn’t you?”

She smiles her guilty smile, which James finds a tad too attractive. “Same reason you were attempting to stride past me with your nose in the air a few minutes ago; because I’m stubborn.”

James laughs, and really allows himself to give in, pulling his girlfriend to him, enveloping her in a hug, kissing the top of her head, sighing contently at the feel of her reciprocated embrace. “Yeah, maybe not the best flaw to have in common,” he says after a moment. He loosens his grip on her so they can look at each other as he concedes, “I was never going to break the streak. Not really. Good morning, Evans,” he finally greets her, and then leans down and gives her a firm kiss on the mouth. 

He feels a muffled laugh along her lips as she kisses him back. “Good morning,” she replies, and then swoops back in heatedly, pressing her plump lips against his, putting a hand in his hair and gently dragging her nails along his scalp.

He grabs her waist and pulls her closer to him as he deepens the kiss. This is definitely not part of their morning tradition, but he is not going to object.

“Oi, this is a public space!” 

They break apart and James turns to see Sirius’s half amused, half disgusted face. Peter is snickering, while Remus is swaying from heel to toe as he stares at the ceiling. 

Lily’s cheeks are burning red as she adjusts her shirt unnecessarily. “Fair point,” she murmurs.

“Always have to ruin a moment, don’t you?” James groans at his best friend.

He ignores this accusation. “Instead of devouring each other’s faces, why don’t you two devour some breakfast, yeah?” Sirius suggests as he leads the way past them, patting Lily’s shoulder as he does. Remus gives them an apologetic look and Peter continues to laugh as they climb out of the portrait hole. 

“Well,” Lily says, clearing her throat. “Streak maintained. Job well done.”

James laughs and puts an arm around her as they follow their friends’ lead. “And to you,” he replies, smiling brightly at her. “That second kiss though...are we adding that to the morning lineup or..? Because I think that would be a great idea. Traditions can always be improved.”

She elbows him lightly in the ribs, laughing herself. “That was my, ‘I’m sorry I was an arsehole, hope this makes it up to you slightly,’ snog. So, no.”

“Well, it looks like I’m gonna have to get mad at you more often,” he observes. “But it felt more like a, ‘wow James is such a good kisser I just can’t help but get lost in the moment, I really regret not snogging him a lot sooner, like two years ago sooner,’ snog to me.”

She looks up at him and smiles as they walk down the corridor. “Maybe so.” 

[welllpthisishappening]

laura, id like your opinion: best disney movie? best disney female character? best disney male character? best disney villian? best disney sidekick? best disney love song? best disney song overall? (and if you have any other disney opinions please include them also)

Yes, hello, hi, my time has officially come. I have thoughts and opinions and I am prepared to share them. Let’s start in order of your questions, shall we?

best disney movie? 

BEAUTY. AND. THE. BEAST. I am not exaggerating when I tell you that Beauty and the Beast is my favorite movie ever made. I could not possibly tell you how many times I have watched it. Like. Thousands. Thousands. It is my go-to movie for any situation, any emotion. I own more Beauty and the Beast merch than any person really should. When we went to Disney this year we ate at Be Our Guest, which is the Beauty and the Beast themed restaurant, like we do every year, but for the first time we got to sit in the West Wing. And let me tell you, the poor hostess was not at all prepared to tell us that only for me to shout SHUT UP ARE YOU SERIOUS directly in her face. 

She was, and it was awesome. 

best disney female character? 

As you can probably surmise from the small essay I just wrote: Belle is my favorite Disney princess. SHE READS, ANON. My girl takes talking inanimate objects in stride. She does not take the Beast’s shit. I love her. 

Although if going to base this off my overall level of un-cool while meeting face!actors at Disney, then it’s probably: Belle, Elsa and Anna, Ariel (who said hi to us this year and I literally yelled OH MY GOD HI ARIEL) and Tiana. 

Oh, oh, but if we’re talking Disney live action, then the answer, obviously, is Elizabeth Swann. Who is the main character of the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise and pretending anything else ruined the franchise. 

best disney male character? 

Aladdin for nostalgia, Nick Wilde for more recent opinions. That flashback scene in Zootopia??? I yell about it every time I watch. Someone hug him. Someone help him. 

best disney villian? 

Ursula based solely on the fact that Poor Unfortunate Souls is a J A M. Listen, if you don’t change your whole voice and kind of do the Ursula-type shimmy when she says body lang-u-age, then I don’t know what to tell you. 

best disney sidekick? 

Ohhhhh this one is kind of tough, honestly. What counts as a sidekick? Like is Baloo a sidekick because The Jungle Book is really Mowgli’s story? If that’s the case then Baloo, who I have had a stuffed animal of since I was two. 

best disney love song? 

Spotify would inform you that A Whole New World is one of my most played songs and then would also rat on me and inform you that I regularly try to sing both parts. 

best disney song overall? 

I WON’T SAY I’M IN LOVE, BUT, AGAIN, ONLY IF WE ALL TRY TO SING EVERY PART AT ONCE AND SOMEONE PROBABLY CATCHES US WHILE WE’RE DANCING IN THE CAR AT A RED LIGHT. 

That’s also kind of a love song, though. So, my not cop out answer is...either Belle, the song that opens Beauty and the Beast, Under the Sea, Out There or Remember Me. 

other disney opinions? 

Tower of Terror is the best ride at Disney World, Robin Hood is a wholly underrated Disney movie, WE DON’T TALK ABOUT THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG ENOUGH, Toy Story 4 didn’t have to happen, I like Frozen more than Tangled and I know that’s controversial, I am one hundred percent part of the reboot problem because I’ll totally watch all these live action movies, i genuinely enjoyed the new Aladdin, I’d punch all of you in the face for some Dole Whip right now. 

[sieglinde-freud]

omg hi mar no you did not miss an essay i just like shoving thoughts about them in some random tags on my vent posts sometimes bc i dont think anyone rly cares BUT if you want to provide me with an excuse to talk about my favorite fates rarepairs well you know im not gonna say no. under the cut bc its long and probably not very coherent sorry!!

i dont actually have much of value on them yet bc this mostly spawned from me being really into both laslow/nyx and laslow/keaton at the same time before realizing i also think keaton/nyx is very cute and going “hey wait a minute. they all have two hands!” and thus. insanity.

to dive into just laslow/nyx for a minute, i dont think many people have read their supports mostly because conquest is a hard game, and they are incredibly suboptimal for eachother statwsie (not to mention the fact that just in general… neither of them are stellar units… so chances are youre not even using both of them or even either of them) but i think thats a real waste of potential because their supports are so incredibly well written. you guys can read it yourself but if you dont want to, essentially to sum it up, nyx is plagued with guilt from what she did in the past to earn her curse and warns laslow to stay away from her, calling herself a monster. laslow doesnt really care though, saying that hes done something just as bad as she has (awakening reference! hes upset about the fact that when he traveled with lucina and the gang, he left everyone else in that timeline stranded to die), and tries to convince her that no matter her past, she’ll still be a trustworthy ally to him. she reassures him in much the same way, and then they do laslow nyx typical canon flirting (also nyx is a lot more bold than i thought she was gonna be when i first saw her??? slay tbh) and go get tea blah blah whatever the REAL meat is in the B support. highly recommend i could not possibly do it justice in a three sentence summary. anyways what it does for both of them is cement them both as highly reflective and pessimistic individuals, but also establishes a dynamic between the both of them where they can help eachother out with self image, as they dont know anything about eachothers past, just who they are now. they can help eachother grow and recover, no judgement. its a very special dynamic that doesnt quite occur with their other support partners.

and you could honestly stop right there and sometimes i do but sometimes i like adding a dog to it. i think there is a certain beauty in two people plagued by the past being able to look to the future together and finally smile, but i think there is a certain hilarity in giving those two people a gigantic werewolf boyfriend. keaton, relatively speaking, is a fairly simple guy. he is the head of the wolfskin tribe, got lost, ended up hanging out with corrin. hes got a bit going on, being a little sensitive, but mostly happy guy, but hes pretty simple. so, throw him with two of nohr's biggest angst balls, and you've got a decent balance! besides, laslow and nyx could both probably use a little more cheer in their lives. theres only so many horrific jokes laslow can put on a fake smile through before he starts crying about his mom again (/j but also not really)

in general i think they all play off of eachother very well. their supports are all pretty entertaining, and it’s a funny image to imagine nohr’s smallest woman, nohr’s smallest man, and a gigantic behemoth of a werewolf all holding hands like idk. nohr’s most dangerous dark mage second only to the literal prince and shes being called to play fetch with her loser boyfriends who cant count to four. retainer to the crown prince of nohr but he’s being dragged to bed so they can all squeeze together on a mattress clearly meant for one person while nyx pulls out jane austen’s pride and prejudice and reads it for a bedtime story. keaton fell asleep five minutes in and laslow is enraptured by mr darcy. also keaton in his is wolfskin form. do you guys see my vision

additionally theres also the fact that whoever laslow marries comes back with him to ylisse which. you know im not really sure how important keaton’s position as chief of the wolfskin is to him, but if hes down to go in his ending with selena he’d be down to go with laslow i think. and for nyx, i think itd honestly be really healthy for her to leave. she has so much baggage attached to nohr and no more family left, itd probably be a great fresh start for her. also i have this headcanon that eventually inigo brings her to like laurent or tharja or henry or something and they eventually figure out to break her curse. that is like my most self indulgent headcanon ever tho idk

anyways pov ur olivia and ur time traveling son comes home with a dirty ass boyfriend and the most intimidating goth gf youve ever seen

i greatly enjoy the dynamic of laslow/keaton. its like giving this poor man a best friend, a husband, and a dog all wrapped into one except in quite possibly the worst way possible. laslow makes him coffee in the morning and then has to go take him for a walk. he literally teaches keaton how to fetch. they kiss and laslow has to scratch keatons ear at the same time. you know those videos of those women jokingly taking their boyfriends outside for “enrichment time” so they can go run around or whatever? yeah. laslow/keaton.

[suits-of-woe]

Odds for the Shakespeare asks? Thank you!! ❤️

Thank you Lauren!

1. What is your best experience with Shakespeare in school?

The time this year when we had just started our Hamlet unit and my professor wasn’t planning on having full office hours that week because we had no essays to work on but he was wonderful enough to let me follow him up to his office and exchange opinions about Hamlet, Lear, and all things Shakespeare, and recommended several papers he’d written to me. I’m gonna miss my first year prof so much and that’s my favourite thing about university -- getting to talk to people who are Full Geniuses about my passion.

3. Tell me about a production that blew your mind.

I’ve talked about it before but I saw a production of Hamlet with two actors as Hamlet where the audience was split in two and followed one of them around a big house for the performance. The cast had different roles depending on the Hamlet they were with (eg. one’s Horatio was the other’s Ophelia, each Hamlet was the other’s Laertes) but sometimes both Hamlets met up for the big scenes. It was a bit convoluted in parts but the version of the “get thee to a nunnery” scene where one Hamlet was incredibly harsh and violent and the other was sweet and loving and then they switched places definitely qualifies as mind-blowing.

5.  What’s your favorite rarely performed play?

Henry IV Part 1 is a top 3 play for me and that’s kind of rarely performed! But if we’re talking more niche than that I love all the (non-Henry VIII) histories, especially Henry VI Part 3 and King John.

7. Pick a play to re-imagine in a different genre and medium.

I can’t think of anything good haha...but you know how sometimes people do productions of comedies or romances (Midsummer and The Tempest especially) in kind of a surreal spooky fairy-tale style. I’d actually love to see one of the tragedies done like that. Maybe Lear or R&J.

9. Have you ever seen Shakespeare performed in translation?

I have! I saw A Midsummer Night’s Dream (Le Songe d’une nuit d’été) when I was in Paris two years ago. My French is pretty garbage so I was mostly relying on my existing knowledge of the play to know what was going on but it was very fun.

11. What’s your favorite non-Shakespeare Shakespeare retelling?

Does Infinite Jest count? Probably not, I’m just proud I finally finished haha. I loved My Own Private Idaho too.

13. What’s the weirdest production you’ve ever seen?

CANADIAN TRASH HAMLET (aka Hamlet (2009) dir. Bruce Ramsay). I still don’t know why it’s Like That but it’ll always have a very special place in my heart.

15. Recommend a Shakespeare-related book.

Fiction: Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel

Non-fiction: Thinking Shakespeare by Barry Edelstein

[petersmparker]

The River Café (Peter Parker x Reader)

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader, Flash Thompson x Reader (as a Plot Device™️ (that I ended up being lowkey attached to?? hit me up flash))

Summary: You’ve decided that you’re going to go out and have a nice time, insistent feelings for your best friend Peter Parker or otherwise.

Word Count: 3757

Warnings: a spicey hint of sailor’s mouth

A/N: I started this two days ago and nearly shitcanned it but now I’m like... kinda in love with it?? I hope y’all like it, I know sticking Flash up in there is unusual but honestly I dig how it came together and I hope everyone’s willing to give it a shot 💙❤️ and also believe me when I say that Flash’s name is legitimately Eugene I fucking swear it (side note: consider this part of my congratulations to @moonstruckholland for one year on her blog!! I hope you enjoy this girl idk what your fic prefs are)

"Let's go on a date friday night."

-

Your group of friends has grown together over the past few years. Leaps and bounds past what you ever might have expected, even. It’s something that you still find yourself reassessing sometimes; occasionally getting caught off guard by something that’s actually pretty natural by now. You can’t help but be pleasantly surprised, though, when you catch yourself thinking back to what it was while witnessing what it is.

Sophomore year of highschool was a ton of awkwardness wrapped up in a silly belief that everyone had already become the person they were meant to be. Senior year, you find it much more appealing to declare just how much no one knows that they’re doing.

The one constant for you in all this time has been Peter. Peter, ever-changing, ever-moving, ever-working, has not remained static in his existence. He has, however, stayed unwaveringly connected to you. For him, you do the same.

You’re there when Uncle Ben dies, sitting in the stairwell of the funeral home when Peter can’t handle another person passing on their condolences. It’s you who makes Peter do his homework and study for his tests when he determines that he doesn’t need school anymore. Your eyes follow him as he sprints from the gymnasium on the night of homecoming, and again later when he decides to sneak off the bus to investigate the space ship descending upon New York. When you wake up on the other side of the Blip, it’s you who runs to Peter’s apartment to find him mourning the loss of his mentor.

“Don’t you get tired?” Peter asked once in junior year, as you wiped blood from his side with a wet wash cloth, fuming over the newest live report of J Jonah Jameson, “You don’t wish you didn’t have to deal with all of this?”

“Never,” you had responded, “I. . . I love you, Pete.”

Peter had given you a small, weak smile and returned to digging through the first aid kit, seemingly untouched by your admission. It’s not difficult to assume that he had interpreted it friendly in nature, and you figure that that’s proof enough of his nonexistent feelings for you.

That's why, a year later-- assured in the belief that Peter views you only as a friend and comfortable enough in the fact that you’re still figuring this whole life thing out-- you decide to accept the offer of one Flash Thompson for a date.

What’s the harm, you figure. It seems casual enough, and Flash had mellowed out over the years. He's no longer quite so quick to tease others or flaunt his wealth, and had become a relatively decent friend of yours. Worst case scenario, it’s awkward, you get a free meal, and the both of you continue on to pretend it didn’t happen. Best case. . .

Maybe you move on from Peter.

-

Peter shows up unannounced at your door late Friday afternoon with a backpack full of schoolwork and snacks. It's not unusual of him at all, and yet when you hurry to answer the door, the sight of him catches you by surprise.

His gaze flicks upward to your wet hair, twisted into a towel, and then down to your hands, which you're holding out cautiously to avoid ruining a fresh coat of black polish. The confusion on his face is amused in nature. You're not normally one to paint your nails unless there's an event going on.

"Uh, hi, Peter," you say, trying not to sound unwelcoming.

This is such bad timing.

"Hey," he greets, hand wrapping around the strap of his backpack, "What's up? I was thinking we could do homework for an hour and then give up to watch movies instead."

You hadn't told Peter about the date. Telling him, you feared, would feel like you were asking for him to disapprove. To ask you not to go. It wasn't a disappointment you were willing to inflict upon yourself. Not when you were feeling a bit of hope for the outcome of the date. You wanted to be enthusiastic; wanted to enjoy the company of a friend and see if something could come out of it that was more than hopeless pining.

"I kind of have plans," you admit, unable to meet his eye.

Confusion colors his tone now, too. "Oh, really? Well, uh, do you mind if I come in for a little while anyway? Since I'm here. I need a bit of help with the English assignment."

Part of you wants to say no. But you can't look at Peter Parker and turn him away, and so you back up to let him into your apartment. He knows the way to your room by now and leads the way there. Every available surface is littered with items of clothing. He'd seen your room somewhat messy before, but you can tell he isn't expecting it to look like a tornado has been through your closet. You avoid his eyes, embarrassed, when he turns to give you a questioning look.

He throws himself onto your bed, shifting to sit with his back against the headboard, and digs a notebook from his bag. After a moment, he pulls a dress out from under himself and puts it aside.

You find yourself standing awkwardly in the doorway. A glance at the alarm clock on your nightstand tells you that Flash will be picking you up in only forty-five minutes. Peter clearly doesn't intend to leave until he's asked, and you don't have the will to ask. Which means you're going to have to just finish getting ready, anyway, and send him off before Flash arrives.

"What did you need help with?" You ask, going over to the dresser to look into the mirror above it.

You remove the towel from your hair to find that it's mostly dry. Satisfied, you brush it all back, away from your face. You see him looking at you in the mirror, but attempt to ignore it. It's already uncomfortable enough preparing for a date in front of the guy you're in love with. Must he make you feel weird for prettying yourself up a bit, even inadvertently?

What did I do to deserve this? you wonder, and apply a hint of peach eyeshadow with the tip of your finger.

He looks back to the notebook. You pretend not to notice that, either.

"The argumentative essay," he says finally, with a sigh, "Mr. Sharpton said my thesis needs work."

"Sharpton tends to be a picky little bitch. Read it to me," you instruct, dabbing glitter onto your eyelids and across your freckles.

He does. It's not the worst thesis statement. The intention is clear. Peter's always been better with math and science, but he's never been hopeless with English, either. "Well, you've got all three prongs already," you start, before pausing to apply a healthy amount of clear gloss, "They're just not parallel. It sounds awkward. For what you're trying to say, you could probably just reorganize the sentence, but structure it around the phrase, 'Through the author's use of. . . '" you wave your hand, indicating his points, "'. . .blah blah blah is represented.'"

Peter hums in understanding, followed by the scratching of pen against paper. You take the time to apply mascara and go about picking through the clothes strewn around the room to reassess what to wear. Kneeling on the floor, you throw various clothes back toward the open closet door.

Too casual, too dressy, too casual, too casual, that's stained, ew.

Your cell phone beeps on the bedside table. The sound of pen on paper ceases. Before you can say anything, Peter, who've never minded reading your texts, picks it up out of habit. He reads the message out to you.

"Um. Flash says to wear something fancy?" He says, sounding disconcerted.

The sick feeling in your stomach is immediate.

"Uhh. Thanks."

You pull the black dress that you'd deemed too dressy back out of the closet, hoping to appear more casual and less about-to-vomit. Thirty minutes left. Not even that much. Just twenty minutes and you could have sent Peter home none the wiser and had an extra ten to hype yourself up for this date, but now you're confronted with the fact that Peter knows. He knows and you're going to have to hear about it.

"You're going out with Flash?" He asks as you attempt to quell your nerves by focusing very hard on removing the couple of cat hairs that stick to the velvet material of the dress.

"Yeah."

"Like, on a date?"

"Yeah."

You risk a glance at Peter. His expression is unreadable. The sight of it makes your stomach twist. To escape it, you step into the closet and close the door under the guise of changing clothes.

"How did that happen?" Peter calls through the door.

You wince. There's something in his tone like disappointment, and you realize that you never considered the possibility that he might judge you for your willingness to go on a date with Flash. Sure, they were something like friends nowadays, but maybe that didn't mean Peter actually genuinely liked the guy. The prospect of having just lost Peter's respect is like a needle to the heart.

"He- He asked me out after decathlon the other day. I thought it might be fun."

"That's. . . interesting," Peter says, tone still off in some way.

The feeling that spreads through you is gross. There's a bitter taste in your mouth. You hate it. This was supposed to be something simple, something nice you could enjoy for yourself. You don't want Peter to ruin it for you, whether or not that's his intention.

You tug on the dress hurriedly and exit the closet, doing your best to maintain some sort of neutrality in your expression. "Flash is my friend. He said he that he kinda likes me and it seemed like it would be nice to go out with him," you say, "Whats wrong with that, Peter?"

Peter looks like he's been accused. Your tone wasn't as calm as intended, so it's no surprise.

"Nothing!" He responds, throwing his hands up in a placating gesture, "It's just- it's weird, isn't it?"

It feels like the air has been sucked out of your room. Your ears ring. In the back of your head, you know-- you know he only means it's weird because it's Flash you're about to go out with. But you're being faced with a conversation you didn't want, forced to acknowledge that you were never going to just find a person who makes you laugh and be able to just get the hell over Peter, and what comes out reflects the hurt feelings that are eating at you in the moment.

"Weird?" You demand, "Is it really so goddamn weird that someone could have feelings for me, Peter? Just because you don't-!"

Anger and hurt clouds your brain and you lose your train of thought entirely, breaking off in an involuntary scoff. You snatch your shoes off the floor and your apartment keys off the dresser. It isn't until you've stalked over to the nightstand to grab your phone that you continue.

"I'm leaving. I'm going on that date with Flash and I'm going to enjoy myself. Lock the door on your way out."

Peter's still on the bed, unmoved. He looks more startled than he's ever been by something you've said, and then even more so when you toss the apartment keys in his direction.

When you storm out of your own home, shoes still clutched in your hand, you try desperately to wipe from your mind the image of the shocked look on your best friend's face.

-

The date is nice.

Like, actually, genuinely nice.

Flash happens to arrive at your building just in time to find you gazing hard into the glass of the lobby. You're swiping frustratedly at the mascara that has run with the few angry tears you couldn't prevent. You manage to play the makeup off as no big deal, but his eyes drift immediately to your bare feet and the shoes clutched in your left hand. There's no good explanation for being shoeless on a New York City street.

"Do I want to ask?" He questions, looking kinda grossed out and at least moderately concerned.

"Please don't," you answer.

He opens the car door for you like you haven't already ruined your chances of impressing him, and you can't help but marvel at how different he is from the Flash of two years ago, who would most definitely have gotten back in his car and sped off.

The drive is long and Flash won't tell you what the destination is. You pass the time with chatter, not all that different from what you'd probably be exchanging in study hall. The convertible's roof is down, which makes it difficult not to look up for a hint of red and blue passing by, but Flash stares up openly for his idol when the car is stopped.

You don't think Spider-Man will be out tonight.

After a while, you cross the Brooklyn Bridge. Flash hands the keys over to the valet of the restaurant and helps you out of the car. He makes a joke about how your shoes better be on, but you barely hear.

"Flash, really?"

"What?"

The entrance to the restaurant is beautiful, lit with warm-colored string lights and surrounded by luscious greenery. You recognize the name on the sign, hand-painted in green; your parents had come here for their 25th anniversary a while back.

"This place is really fucking expensive," you say, and suddenly become very aware of the fact that you hadn't brought your wallet.

"I like the side dishes here," he says, like the scalloped potatoes wouldn’t cost a normal person half a fridge of groceries.

"You're nuts."

Flash buttons the top two buttons of his plaid suit jacket and takes your hand. Your stomach flips. From nerves or guilt, you're not sure. It's probably both.

"Do you have a reservation?" Asks the Maître D' when you enter.

You're prepared to have to leave, figuring that a spot at a swanky place like this would need to be reserved months in advance, but Flash pulls out his license to show to the man.

"Yes we do. 6:30, under the name Eugene Thompson."

"This way then, Mr. Thompson."

Your table next to the window overlooks the East River. The dining room has already begun to fill with the dinner rush and the little band in the corner is playing a sweet-sounding song. The menu is astronomically expensive, but Flash urges you to get whatever you want. You settle for the cheapest chicken dish on the menu and take to watching the boats pass beneath the Brooklyn Bridge. Flash orders a meat and cheese plate to start, unsurprisingly, and arranges combinations on bread and crackers for you to try.

It's more fun than you ever expected it to be, honestly. You'd been prepared for Flash to be a bit much after having agreed to let him choose the date, but he's just trying to make sure you enjoy yourself. He makes jokes and laughs at your own. Refills your drink from the water flute before you've even noticed you've gotten low. Offers you a taste of his meal. You're distracted, Peter no longer at the forefront of your mind.

With Flash, it's easy.

"I'll be honest, Eugene," you start, teasingly, and giggle at Flash's fake-annoyed attempt to jokingly swat at the side of your head, "This is. . . This is really, really nice. My wig is sufficiently snatched."

He busts out laughing, earning a look from those at nearby tables. After a few moments, he quiets and takes to smiling down at his steak.

His smile softens into something a bit awkward, maybe somewhat unsure, when he says, “Can I ask you something?”

Your heart involuntarily skips a beat. When is that question ever a good sign? “I- uh, yeah. Sure. What’s up?”

“What’s up with you and Parker?”

When you meet Flash’s eye, he doesn’t appear accusatory. He doesn’t even seem upset. More than anything, you’d say he looks confused. You, however, can feel heat rising aggressively to your cheeks.

You feel guilty again.

“Peter? What do you mean?” 

He rolls his eyes good-naturedly in response and sets down his fork. “Oh, come on now. You like him right? Since like, middle school.”

You know you’ve never really actively tried to hide it from anyone, but having it said aloud like that is jarring. It’s embarrassing. You wonder why Flash wants to talk about this, of all things, when your date had actually been going pretty darn well. But you decide to be honest, since fooling him is unrealistic.

“A while, yeah.”

“Then why are you on a date with me right now?” Flash questions.

“You. . . you asked me out?” You answer confusedly.

He passes a hand through his hair a bit agitatedly. You hope he isn’t annoyed with you, but you aren’t sure what he’s expecting you to say.

“I mean,” he clarifies, a laugh escaping his lips, “Why the hell aren’t you dating him? It’s been years already. Did you guys decide that you didn’t want to risk ruining your friendship? What’s up?”

It seems that your brain is exclusively capable of performing the sound of a record scratch on repeat. You have no idea how to respond to anything Flash has just said. None of it makes sense. Peter doesn’t like you. He never has. If Flash has paid enough attention to notice how much you like your best friend, surely he should have noticed that your affection is definitely not returned.

You don't want to think about it. You don't want a spark of hope, only for it to be stomped on. Today's events alone have been proof enough that Peter doesn't like you.

"Why did you ask me out if you knew I like Peter?" You question, staring down at your half-eaten chicken parmesan.

"Why did you agree if you like Peter?"

You can feel him looking at you. When you decide to meet his eye, you're scared to see the hurt that's in them.

It's not there.

"You were hoping to get over him, right?" Flash asks, half a smile on his face, "I was hoping you would, too."

He takes your hand for the first time since you entered the restaurant, and you realize that if anything, he maybe kind of gets it.

“Peter doesn’t have feelings for me,” you manage to say, after several long moments of silence have passed.

“Dude, Parker��s in love with you.”

-

Considering everything, the ride home isn't nearly as awkward as it could have been. 

Flash parks a little ways down the street from your building. He doesn't get up to help you out of the car like he had before. You can't really hold that against him.

"Sorry about all this," you say, guilt still swirling low in your gut, after you've shut the passenger side door.

He side eyes you when he says, "Don't flatter yourself, honey, I'll get over it," and grins, "Go tell Parker that I will actually straight up call my lawyers if he fucks this up now that I've laid all this shit out for him."

With that, he waves his hand once and then pulls away from the curb. 

Thanks Eugene, is the text you send him during the walk home.

He responds with selfie of him flipping off the camera, and things are just about as close to normal between you as you figure they can be, for now. It's with a laugh that you send one back, shoes once again clutched in your flipping-off hand as you knock on the door to your apartment and wait for your parents to let you in.

Peter opens the door.

Your smile freezes in its place and then falls. His gaze averts quickly to the floor, like he's just done something wrong. You aren't sure what to say to him. "You're still here," you settle on pointing out, eventually.

"How'd it go?" He asks, skipping over the part where he explains the fact that he's still in your apartment.

He looks very much like he doesn't want to hear the answer, but also like he's trying to sound enthusiastic for you. Your heart aches. It's been hours since you'd left, and he's been sitting here marinating in the fight. Meanwhile, while you were fine dining with a friend who turned out to be way better of a friend than you'd thought he was.

"We enjoyed ourselves," you admit.

"Oh," he responds, voice a bit shaky, "That's good. I mean- It's great. That's really great. I'm glad. I'm happy for you."

"Hey, Peter?"

"Yeah?"

Your throat wants to close when you look into his eyes, but you press on.

"Are you in love with me?"

". . .Yeah."

Despite the fact that you grasp the front of his shirt in your fist when you lean in to kiss him, it's neither hurried nor forceful. It's a response, and an assurance. You pull back enough to see his eyebrows knitted together in confusion, then kiss him a second time, just a peck.

He leans his forehead against yours, sighing in relief. The tension that he must have been holding in his body releases, and you feel his stance soften with your hand still against his chest.

"I should have told you," he murmurs, reaching up to cup your jaw.

You can't help but crack a smile. "Yeah, Pete. Flash had to tell me. On our date."

"That's so awkward."

You laugh. "You're tellin' me."

He leans away from you when he exclaims, suppressing his laughter, "Hey, you didn't tell me, either!"

"Oh my god, Peter," you gush, "Yes I did! Over a year ago!"

His smile falls like he's just had the air knocked out of him. "You what?"

"Oh my god," you repeat, shaking your head in disbelief, "oh my god." 

Peter falls into a slew of apologies, but you're starting to laugh, and they start to die on his lips just ask quickly as they had begun to form. You pull him forward by his shirt once more and kiss him in the doorway, revelling in the ridiculousness of it all.

"I'm in love with you too," you sigh.

If his delighted smile weren't already enough, the kiss that follows more than makes up for it.

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