#don’t be selfish tossers

[angelfic]

— IF I CAN’T HAVE YOU BABY

pairing: mattheo riddle x nott!reader

summary: you weren't quite used to the attention of other boys, and it seems your brother's best friend isn't too fond of it either

warnings: brother's best friend trope!! swearing, kissing, not much else, very much unedited

author’s note: i don't tend to stray outside of the marauders era characters buuuut i've been a bit obsessed with mattheo and theo recently so this was for my own selfish needs lol as always let me know what you think!!

He had barely looked away from you all evening.

You knew the only reason Mattheo’s eyes had been fixed on you for the entirety of dinner was because of a certain type of attention you had unconsciously garnered on your first day back at school. Particularly male attention. It wasn’t any less disconcerting, however, knowing that your brother’s best friend was prepared to fist fight any potential romantic advances towards you because he was just as protective as your actual older sibling.

Your brother Theodore is no better, a displeased frown appearing every five minutes when he looks over to where you sit at the Gryffindor table.

“Merlin, boys are pathetic,” Ginny mutters, spearing a potato with her fork. “You go away for one summer and come back slightly prettier and they flock to you like bees to honey!” You’re about to weakly protest that she’s exaggerating, but at that exact moment you’re interrupted by a tap on your shoulder.

You slowly turn on the bench, reluctantly lowering your goblet of pumpkin juice to face Michael Corner, a Ravenclaw boy who you’d only ever spoken to when he was going out with Ginny.

“Hi, Michael,” you sigh, offering him a bland smile.

“Hello, Nott,” Michael replies, with what he probably thinks is a winning smile. “Had a good summer? I was just going to ask if you wanted to go on the first Hogsmeade visit of the term with me.”

You stare at him, unblinking. “Er- well, as… nice as that sounds,” you say slowly, not meaning a word. You glance at Ginny as pointedly as you can manage and raise an eyebrow. “I don’t quite relish the idea of going out with my best friend’s ex.”

“Oh! I, erm, I didn’t actually see you there, Ginny,” he stammers, laughing sheepishly. “My mistake.”

“Quite,” Ginny says drily, turning back to her plate of food.

“Well, er, see you later then,” Michael mumbles, nearly tripping over himself as he rushes back to the Ravenclaw table.

You bite your lip to stifle your giggles but it’s not long before you catch Ginny’s eye and the both of you erupt into fits of laughter.

“I can’t believe I ever went out with him,” Ginny groans, wiping her eyes.

“Was he always such a tosser or is that new?” you ask, snorting at the way Ginny scrunches up her face in embarrassment.

You’re still laughing when your eyes happen to pass over the Slytherin table just to focus on Mattheo.

You notice with a jolt that he’s looking at you again. This time, his eyes flick over to the Ravenclaw table for a second where Michael has settled back onto, then back to you and he quirks a brow quizzically.

Frowning, you mouth at him to stop in hopes that he ceases his scrutiny, just for him to roll his eyes and return to whatever one-sided conversation Blaise Zabini was attempting to engage him in. You hope you don’t look as flustered as you feel after realising Mattheo has just witnessed such an embarrassing encounter, but you’ve found over the years that you’re not the best at hiding the effects he has on you. Theo has never mentioned it in front of Mattheo as far as you’re aware, but he definitely hasn’t shied away from teasing you about the childhood crush you have on your brother’s closest friend. Not that you’ve ever admitted it to him anyway, and you’ve gotten a lot better at hiding it since nothing could ever come of it.

“Your brother and Riddle have been looking like they’re ready to halve the male population of Hogwarts since we got on the bloody train,” Ginny says, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“Tell me about it,” you sigh, cutting into your carrot a little more viciously than needed. “They keep looking over at our table. I feel like I’m on one of those Muggle reality television programmes Hermione was telling your dad about the other week.”

Arthur Weasley was absolutely transfixed when he was learning about reality television from Hermione during breakfast the week you both stayed at The Burrow, and although you zoned out after his sixteenth question about a singular programme, you feel as though you caught the gist of it.

“Hm,” Ginny agrees, grimacing at the memory. She had nodded off at the table during that conversation and fallen asleep on her slice of toast. “In fairness, that’s not really a new thing.”

“What, being watched by my two guard dogs?” you ask in a mock-serious voice.

“Yeah, but…” Ginny chews thoughtfully for a second before answering. “I’m not just talking about today, or even recently. Your brother mostly minds his own business. I’m talking about Riddle. He’s always looking at you, I noticed it last year. Wherever we are, kind of like he’s checking up on you,” she says like it’s common knowledge, shrugging. “It’s sweet, I guess.”

You blink at her, a little speechless.

“What?” Ginny frowns after a few seconds of your silence. You look at her with raised eyebrows, not really taking her seriously. In your first few years at Hogwarts, you had confided in Ginny regarding your silly, little girl feelings for Mattheo and she would read into every action he took towards you in an attempt to prove he liked you too. Obviously, he saw you as nothing but a younger sister figure and once you grew up a bit, Ginny had let it go too.

Ginny reads your dubious expression now and sets down her knife and fork to cross her arms. “Oh, for heaven’s sake. I’m serious! I’m not just saying it because you were helplessly in love with him until you were, like, fourteen.”

“Shush!” you hiss, thwacking her arm. “Why don’t you just get up on stage with Dumbledore and ask him to include that titbit of information for the entire school to hear in his speech!”

“Good idea,” she says, nodding seriously and starting to get up. You know she’s just teasing, but you start spluttering and frantically grab at her sleeve to sit her back down, causing her to topple onto you slightly. This sets you both off laughing again and you find it hard to stop for the rest of dinner and desert, thankfully staying far away from the topic of Mattheo. You also pointedly avoid looking at him again.

Once dinner is over, you head to the Gryffindor common room with the rest of your house and catch up with everyone for a while. After a couple hours of socialising and fifteen minutes of helping Neville Longbottom search for his pet toad, you head up to your dorm with Ginny and Lena, one of your other dormmates, to unpack.

As soon as you open your luggage, you search for your pyjamas and immediately change out of your robes and into a t-shirt and baggy shorts for comfort. You’re in the middle of unpacking some textbooks when you hear Lena whistle from behind you.

“I do not remember those pyjamas looking like that,” Lena comments, grinning at you. Rolling your eyes, you comply with her request to do a little spin and you can’t help feeling pleased when Lena and Ginny start whooping and hollering. “You’ve always been gorgeous, but you really grew up this summer, huh? Look at those legs!”

“Tell me about it,” Ginny pipes in, flopping down on her bed and abandoning her unpacked suitcase. “She came to stay for a week and Mum looked like she was going to cry every time she saw us. Something about ‘blossoming into young ladies’ or whatever bollocks.”

“You ‘blossomed’ last year,” you point out, and Lena hums in agreement. “I haven’t forgotten how Zacharias Smith fell off his broom trying to wave at you during Quidditch practice.”

Ginny groans and starts ranting about teenage boys again. Lena joins in and starts teasing her about how Harry Potter is the only boy she hasn’t complained about and you’re about to set down your belongings to help Lena dodge the pillows Ginny is throwing at her when a flash of green and silver in your suitcase catches your eye.

“Shite, I have Theo’s uniform,” you huff, grabbing the clothes out of your suitcase and sliding your slippers on. “That means he has mine and I am not dealing with this at seven in the morning. I’m gonna go drop this off, be back in a minute.”

Ginny says goodbye before resuming her pillow attack on Lena as you make your way out of the room and down into the common room. It’s nearly empty, with most people having gone to their rooms to pack and a quick glance at the clock tells you its past curfew. You decide to take the risk since you have a reasonable excuse, but you hope that if you do get caught, it isn’t by Filch or Snape.

By the time you’ve reached the dungeons, you thank Merlin that Theo had the sense to tell you the password for the Slytherin common room before dinner in case of emergency.

“Pureblood,” you mutter, fighting the urge to scoff when the door swings open. You enter the common room and brighten up when you see that the only students still hanging around are Theo and his friends. Your brother seems to have already started unpacking since he’s standing and holding your uniform, presumably about to come and find you. His friends all mumble polite ‘hello’s and he walks up to you with a smile.

“Oh, hey, I was just-” Theo cuts himself off when he properly looks at you and frowns. “Wha- Why are you wearing pyjamas out and about?”

“You’re wearing pyjamas too!” you exclaim, slightly embarrassed that your brother is doing this in front of your friends. They all turn to look at you again, hearing the indignation in Theo’s voice and you notice Mattheo suddenly sits up straighter. Suddenly aware of your bare legs, you tug down the material of your shorts, despite the fact they aren’t even very short to begin with.

“Oi. Stop looking at my sister!”” Theo snaps, glaring at Blaise, Draco, Crabbe and Goyle. You know the only reason they glanced at you in the first place is out of curiosity regarding Theo’s question, but Theo and Mattheo scowl at them all the same and they all start sputtering, Draco in particular when Pansy narrows her eyes at him. Theo sighs at you, quickly exchanging your uniforms. “Just- at least take something to cover up back to your room.”

“I’ll walk her back,” Mattheo says, out of nowhere. He stands up and makes his way over to you, face carefully blank. Theo nods, agreeing quickly before he ruffles your hair goodbye to go and finish packing. You’re too surprised by Mattheo’s offer to protest until you’re already out of the Slytherin common room.

“I don’t need someone to walk me back, you know,” you mumble after a minute of charged silence.

“It was either me or Theo,” he shrugs, completely unapologetic when his mouth quirks up in a smug smile. “And I know you prefer me.”

“You’re both equally annoying,” you say, rolling your eyes, happy that he’s talking to you like normal again. You hated it whenever Mattheo was serious – it was rarely ever towards you and you much preferred when his whole face lit up with a smile. He begins to tease you about your bunny rabbit slippers and you’re in the middle of pretending to be irked when you both run into Ernie Macmillan, a Hufflepuff prefect doing patrol duties.

“Hey,” Ernie offers you a friendly smile and gives Mattheo a brief, slightly nervous glance. While you prefer not to get into trouble for breaking curfew, Mattheo clearly couldn’t care less and his relaxed, yet intimidating stance must be off-putting to Ernie. Thankfully, you’re on friendly terms with the Hufflepuff and you give him an even brighter smile to make up for it, to which he beams at. “How was your summer?”

“Good, yeah! Erm, listen Ernie. We didn’t mean to be out at this time, it’s just that I accidentally had my brother’s uniform and needed to-”

“Oh, forget it. Don’t worry, I won’t dock you any points,” Ernie reassures you, waving off your excuses and you instantly relax. Ernie gives Mattheo another unsure glance before leaning in the tiniest bit closer to you. You try not to pay attention to how Ernie has been glancing at your legs and how Mattheo tenses up when Ernie starts speaking again. “I was actually wondering if you were available next weekend…?”

Ernie trails off when you don’t show any indication of replying straight away and you snap out of your surprise to say something, but Mattheo beats you to it.

“She’s busy then,” he says coldly, working his jaw. “Now, if you don’t mind, it’s late. Kindly get lost.”

“Wha- Matt!” you hiss, smacking his chest to which he barely flinches, nor does he look at all apologetic. “Ernie, I-”

“Never mind,” he says quickly, seemingly eager to just leave. “I’ll, er, see you later.”

You stand frozen in shock while Ernie rushes down the corridor and turns the corner, leaving you and Mattheo alone. Turning slowly, you look at him with barely contained anger.

“Why the hell did you do that?” you demand, voice sharp as nails. If it weren’t past curfew and you weren’t in the middle of a school corridor, you would most definitely be yelling. Mattheo stands with his hands in his pockets, clenching his jaw and his silence makes you even angrier. You accepted long ago that you’d never have a chance with him, but now he was getting in the way of you having a chance with anyone. It was completely unfair. “What if I actually wanted to go out with him?!”

Mattheo scowls at this, but his impossibly dark brown eyes flash with a hint of uncertainty. “Did you?”

“What?” you ask, impatient.

“Did you want to go out with him?” he says, voice low and dangerous. He walks forward, towering over you and you refuse to be intimidated so you start walking backward until your back is against the wall. Despite having cornered you, he maintains a fair amount of distance between you, leaving plenty of space if you want to move away. You don’t.

“That’s none of your business,” you say stubbornly, raising your chin and trying your best to keep your voice steady. Mattheo narrows his eyes and reduces the distance between you ever so slightly with another small step. You nervously keep talking. “I can go out with whoever I want.” Another step. “And you can’t just-” One more step. “Matt.” His shoes are flush with your slippers.

“What?” he whispers, tilting his head and looking at you calmly, while you feeling anything but calm. “I can’t just… what?”

The previously respectable distance has gone out the window and instead you barely have space to breathe with the way Mattheo is leaning in, head dipped toward you but never touching, hands resting on the wall either side of you. He leans in, eyes dropping to your lips and your heart leaps in your chest with anticipation, but he ghosts his lips over your jaw instead and the barely-there contact has you breathing unevenly.

“You can’t…” you exhale, trying to finish your sentence with some dignity and failing miserably. “You can’t just scare people off like an overprotective older brother.”

Mattheo stills, lifting his head enough to meet your eyes, but making no move to distance himself any further. He scoffs quietly. “Brother,” he says the word with a mildly disgusted scowl. “Is that what you think I want to be?”

“I- I don’t…”

“You don’t know,” Mattheo finishes for you, the corners of his mouth turning up, yet his expression is devoid of humour. “No, you don’t know how badly I wanted to hex Macmillan just now. How badly I wanted to try out some new, experimental spells on that fucking Ravenclaw earlier. But none of that had anything to do with brotherly feelings.”

“They were just being nice,” you say stupidly, with not a clue in the world as to why you’re defending them right now. If anything, you’re just confused.

Mattheo quirks a brow, tongue pressing against his cheek as he considers your words. “That Ravenclaw from earlier was talking about you on the train. He said he was going to ask you out at dinner because you’d ‘gotten hot’ over summer,” Mattheo sneers, like he’s suddenly regretting not hexing Michael Corner in the Great Hall. “They weren’t being nice.”

All of a sudden, you feel irritated because you have no idea why Mattheo is telling you any of this. “What’s wrong with a boy finding me attractive? Is that such a crazy idea?” you demand, part of you not wanting him to answer.

“Merlin, do I seriously have to say it?” he groans, sighing when you glare at him. Mattheo takes a breath, meeting your eyes and you marvel at the sincerity you see when he speaks. “You didn’t ‘get hot’ over the summer. You’ve always been beautiful and they’re idiots for not paying attention then.”

Your breath catches in your throat, whether it’s from emotion or from the close proximity with Mattheo, you aren’t sure. “You think I’m beautiful?”

Mattheo nods, leaning back in to brush his nose against your own, his breath mingling with yours. “Always have.”

You take this as a cue to grab the collar of his shirt and pull him in and the next thing you know, his mouth is firm against yours, and his hands are finally touching you, grabbing you by the waist and sliding up your back to hold you closer. You’ve thought about kissing Mattheo before, but the thoughts feel utterly stupid compared to the real thing. Mattheo kisses you fiercely, mouth sliding hot and wet against your own making you come alive and weakening you at the same time. He nips at your bottom lip and you gasp, causing him to smile into the kiss. Your hands are sliding up his chest to snake around his neck when a thought suddenly occurs to you and you pull away abruptly.

“Oh my God, Theodore,” you hiss, covering your mouth with your hand. Mattheo furrows his brows, looking a little dazed and confused. “What are we going to tell him?”

 “He knows I’ve loved you since we were kids,” Mattheo says flippantly, waving you off and impatiently starting to lean in again, but you stop him with a hand on his chest. “What?”

“You’ve loved me since we were kids?” The words hardly register, but before you can feel any sort of elation, you mostly feel pissed off that your brother has clearly had his fun with the situation for years. “And Theo knows?”

“Yes,” Mattheo says slowly, as if he were talking to a child. He brushes the hair out of your face and his gaze turns a little uncertain when he speaks. “Er, this is hopefully the part where you say you feel the same way.”

“Well, of course I feel the same way,” you huff, still thoroughly annoyed at Theo. “He knew I was crazily in love with you too and the bastard was so irritating about it!”

You’re about three quarters of the way down a list of ways you want to get back at your brother when Mattheo gently turns your face by the chin to look at him. “As much as I’d love for you to plot against your brother right now, it’s kind of a mood killer thinking about him when I’m kissing you.”

“Sorry, sorry. Continue with the kissing.”

“How romantic,” he says drily. His smirk turns smug, however, when he processes your previous statement. “So… you were in love with me too. What was the word you used, again? Crazily? Crazily in love…”

“Don’t make me take it back, ‘cause I swear I will.”

© angelfic 2023.

[crownmemes]

Case Histories Sentences

(Sentences from Case Histories (2011-2013). Adjust phrasing where needed)

"If you were a dog, what type of dog would you be?"

"I'm going to allow you to buy me dinner."

"You're a liar and a selfish, manipulative bitch!"

"They're all tossers, if you ask me."

"You've got to keep the people you love right there, right where you can see them, so you can protect them."

"Do you get some kind of sadistic pleasure from withholding information?"

"Do you think that you can make people do things that they don't want to do?"

"Could you just talk... Less please?"

"I'm beginning to think you're my nemesis. "

"Trouble likes you, doesn't it?"

"I wasn't expecting to see you again. Not alive, at least."

"You were rambling and you told me that you loved me."

"You never asked me my name. That's not very polite."

"Normal? You are not normal! This is not normal!"

"You can't control your heart, can you?"

"I've noticed that a lot of the women here are wearing beige. What's that all about?"

"I've realised that I'm never going to love you."

[lindsaywesker]

Good morning! I hope you slept well and feel rested? Currently sitting at my desk, in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day. Happy Hump Day!

Many thanks for all your messages of concern. Yes, I feel better. It was only a cold and sore throat. I taught yesterday for six hours with no problem. I bought myself a bottle of runny honey and squeezed it into my coffee. You know how important it is to keep lubricated! Today I will be teaching for five hours with a group of students who got VERY aroused last week! This is all good! I would rather students asked questions and played an active part in the conversation. We got SO side-tracked last week, I’m only halfway through my Week One slides!

Thanks to everyone that responded to my list yesterday. I think the bottom line is we are all decent human beings but there are some complete tossers out there who spoil it for everyone. I think the major problem with people these days is selfishness and inconsiderateness. They just don’t care about you or I. Somebody else has to clean up their mess! Wonder what I should do for Too Much Information Tuesday next week?

Absolutely no need for Beyonce to win four more Grammy’s at Sunday’s ceremony. Share the love! Some of those young acts NEEDED a Grammy more than her. The ‘Best Dance/Electronic Recording’ award was a scandal! ‘Intimidated’ by Kaytranada & H.E.R. was one of the songs of the year, far better than ‘Break My Soul’ and should have won the award. For me, the funniest Grammy story was the Daily Fail (yet again) describing Bonnie Raitt as an “unknown blues artist”. She’s been making superb music since 1971 and has already won 12 Grammy Awards! She’s No. 50 in the Rolling Stone magazine ‘100 Greatest Singers Of All-Time’. You can’t get the staff!

‘You People’, starring Eddie Murphy and Julia Louis Dreyfus, (co-written and directed by Kenya Barris, who created ‘Black-ish’) is not earth-shattering but it’s worth a watch (on Netflix). Jewish guy falls in love with black girl and the two families try to get on. Standard, culture clash comedy.

‘Girls5eva’ is also worth a watch (on Netflix). A nineties girl group try to reignite their careers 20 years later. Starring real singer/songwriter Sara Bareilles, produced by the legendary Tina Fey of ’30 Rock’ fame. You can tell that The Trouble and I have been flicking the remote looking for something to watch.

Big hoo-ha over a balloon! When a 'foreign' anything (plane, drone etc.) enters American air space, it is IMMEDIATELY spotted, tracked and DEALT WITH, even if it's just a balloon! America has probably the most sophisticated tracking systems and high-tech fighter jets. So, do we still think the 9/11 planes were foreign? If they had been foreign, they wouldn’t have even made it past the coastline!

Have a wonderful and well-endowed Wednesday. I love you all. Yes, a crazy, bald man loves and cares about you.

[spiltscribbles]

French prince and school cleaner start seeing each other, massive spoiling ensues and the constant conversation of them being from different clases and worlds and blah blah blah, there’s some angsty shit and fights but we’ll ignore that

:O

Love, it’s like you don’t even know me??? Ignore the angst?? Ignore the classism differences and the way it makes them unravel?? Absolutely not!!

.-

It’s an odd sensation, standing here in the abandoned common room with the live orchestra’s music swelling through the walls and the tie around Sirius’s neck feeling like it’s a noose squeezing tighter with every minute that ticks past.

And he knows he should be out there, should be charming his pretty, blonde date. He should be laughing with James and he should be playing coy with the other girls that flirt with him, and should be standing as the incandescent heir of the oldest family in English aristocracy— the son of a duke and countess. He should be doing everything that’s been ingrained into him since his childhood painted with ballroom dance lessons and etiquette mastery and a governess that taught him the perfect articulation for the most important romance languages.

What Sirius shouldn’t be doing is standing with a slack jaw, and pinched brows as he stares longingly at the sight of him— Lupin, Remus John Lupin. Remus who is nothing but a charity shop kid, who’s the accident of a broken condom between a French orphan and his gorgeous, Algerian girlfriend who can only string along three words in English. Remus who’s attending Hogwarts on scholarship and the grace of their headmaster. Remus who is beautiful but an absolute nobody in the ocean of gentry that’s all coy grins and pleasantries pasted with a thousand layers of condescension. Remus isn’t like that— Remus is open and good and he’s happy. He’s fucking happy damn it! Something the other prats who dress themselves up with the title of patrician can never affect with any credence.

Remus was happy at least, but as Sirius gawps over at the image of him licked by the dying embers, Sirius wonders if that’s still true— wonders if it’s his doing, his idiotic obsession and intoxication by him that’s lead them to right here, right now— Remus unable to meet Siris’s gaze, and Sirius feeling like he’s drowning in the arctic because of it.

“You should get going, Emmy’s going to figure out that you’re not just out for a smoke,” Remus tells him— wry as all get out as he crunches forwards to come closer to the fire; his curly fringe falling into his eyes and his long, slender hands clasped into a knot in front of him. And if Sirius ever had any sense, he would kneel like a worshiping wanderer and beg for his forgiveness. If Sirius ever had even an ounce of Remus’s courage about him he’d kiss off the wine from Remus’s lips and he’d implore him for forgiveness like he’s asking for respite by someone heavenly.

But his top marks besides, Sirius has always been such a daft idiot.

“I’ll just stay around for a couple more dances, yeah?” Is the first thing he tells Remus since clambering inside in search of him nearly half an hour ago— In all honesty, it had been spurred on by more than a little jealousy considering that he had thought Dearborn was following Remus here, and even if Sirius has got a date to this stupid, bloody formal, and even if he still can’t muster up the courage to hold Remus close enough to kiss in the public eye, he can’t bare that. Can’t bare Remus with someone else, especially not that toffer Caradoc. And it’s selfish and it’s ugly and Sirius hates himself for it, but he wants every part of Remus, even if Sirius doesn’t think he can ever give himself wholly in that same way.

“Pff,” Remus stands up now, face spasming between something looking like amused and utterly broken. “What? You want me to suck your cock after you drop off little Miss Britain?”

Sirius winces at the way Remus’s voice goes ragged right then, not accustomed to him ever sounding so gruff. “Don’t— It’s not like that. You know that. I’m not even attracted to girls in that way.”

“Hah, right.” Remus steps closer now, slow and measured, until he’s a pinky’s breath away. “You just want to make everyone else think that you are, yeah? And to hell with me in the process. To hell with me being forced back in the closet.”

“Remus, stop.”

“No, Sirius! No I won’t fucking stop! Jesus fucking Christ! I’ve been stopping myself for months now! Ever since you snogged me in the bloody library! And I can’t do it anymore!” Remus’s ordinarily soft rasp is something lashing and abrupt and booming now, and Sirius feels helpless, feels like he can’t do anything to stop it. “I’m not some fucking pathetic tosser waiting for the striker of the footie team to come and tell me I’m pretty, or the only one, or any other bull shit you think will help. I’ve been out since I was thirteen! Do you understand how much shite I went through in my old school! The fact that the Arab kid was also a poof! Do you know what I had to deal with! How coming here was like a god send because I met Lily, because I had Dorcas who’s been with Marlene for years. Because I actually had James’s and Peter’s support—“ He chokes on something Sirius can’t comprehend right then, but he stays quiet, stays watching. “Because I thought I had a real friend in you, even before all of this. Before everything— I thought we were friends.”

“Sod off you arse!” Sirius hurls at him before he even realizes his lips are forming the words. “We have always been friends, before anything, you’re my best fucking friend!”

Remus shakes his head, so sad and emptied looking. “No, no Sirius you’re not. A friend wouldn’t treat me like this… A friend couldn’t put me through the gymnastics that you’ve done.”

“Remus—“

“We need to end this I reckon,” he tells him, voice threadbare and hands beginning to shake. “We need to end this before I begin hating you. And I can’t. I can’t hate you Sirius— You’re the most important person to me, and I won’t let you do that.”

[lyallblacklupin]

I am fighting for you.

Remus can’t easily escape the most heart-wrenching memory from his mind that was clinging stubbornly, only making his transformation worse; Sirius Black fighting alone against seven hooded opponents, the red sparks suddenly hitting his chest, and the screams echoing the alley. How can Remus forget the fact that those howls craving nothing but death, were of the most foremost person in his life, the only hope, only dream, only love, only the reason to keep living in this war. Sirius was his everything and the only thing. 

Just for once, he wanted to live...

Just for once, he wanted to unfeel the pain...

Just for once, he wanted to love without fear...

Remus was lying crumpled on the floor, the pool of his blood beneath his wounded body. The sharp breeze of the cold dawn swishing from the opened window of the Shrieking Shack, that spasmed his already trembling, naked body. He peeked from his one of his heavy eyes to see the deteriorated window that was hanging on its rusty hinges, waving in and out, back and forth by the currents of the wind, and the sky was light blue as if witnessing an almost twilight sky, except it had started getting brighter. The view was quite scenic enough for Remus to distract him from his physical pain. However, the pain was not just physical.

He barely acknowledged the severely maimed hand of his own that was laying lifelessly before him. His wand was not far from his reach. He could grab it and cast healing charms at his wounds and he could apparate back to his flat. It was all physically possible, and yet very unwanting.

No one had come to accompany him on his full moon, and he was not mad. He was just tired, and so was James who was fighting for his wife and son, and Peter who was fighting for his dying mother, and Sirius...who was he fighting for?

Suddenly, the previous day enrolled before him, again.

"NO SIRIUS! COME BACK! APPARATE BACK!"  

Remus was shrieking like the way he had  never shrieked before, the blood dripping from his forehead, trickling down his eyelid, didn't bother him because they were outnumbered by another troop of death eaters who had apparated right after James had taken an unconscious Lily back in the nearby shop in Diagon Alley. There was fire, jets of red and green sparks, ashes of the burnt shops that once used to glitter with vivid colors and had the whiff of excitement for going to Hogwarts.

And then there was Sirius in the middle of the alley, fighting alone against seven hooded opponents. His eyes were hard and furiously fixed on the masked people. Remus could see how Sirius' wand was not relaxing for a single second, blocking every curse, jinx, and hex.

He wanted him to stop! He wanted him to come back! He wanted him alive! Why was he not listening to him? Remus' throat felt thorny because of screaming pleas for Sirius to come back. No voice on earth was going to stop him, no jerk was going to make him retreat from his charge. What was he fighting for?

"WHAT ARE YOU FIGHTING FOR!?" Remus cried.

Sirius abruptly stopped and his widened gaze fell on Remus. And that was when a bitter voice yelled, "Cruicio!"

In the fleeting moment, Sirius' body thrust to the ground as the red spark hit him in the chest. And then, there he was violently twitching, jerking, reaching nowhere, his eyes rolling, his screams were echoing in the alley.

"KILL ME! KILL ME NOW!"

Remus' chest was tight, and his already trembling body felt a strange shudder when that memory replayed in his head. He was struck with the most bitter realization; This was it. This was his reality. This was the true picture of his life in which he had to suffer with infinite amount of pain in every way possible, especially by watching the pain of his loved ones, and above all, Sirius.

Something broke inside him—like his ribcage suddenly lost the strength that held him and his stiffened muscles slumped down in defeat as he sobbed over his misfortune. His howls were making him realize how much he was torn inside. His tears were dissolving in his blood, and he wanted everything to stop, the war, the suspicion, the terror, the agony of being a werewolf, a terrible lover, and...just himself. He wanted to end...die. There was a voice inside him saying that  there was a life beyond death where he could live without pain, love without fear.

Just for once...only for once...was it too much to ask?

Crack.

He immediately recognized the familiar footsteps, the strong scent, and the heartbeat which suddenly panicked him. How can he wish to die when he had one person who loved him more than they loved themselves?

"Merlin...Moony..." Sirius murmured under his breath, as he rolled Remus over so that his back was against the floor, exposing his bare chest. Sirius' eyes were tensed but he was wearing a poker face. Remus knew that he was pulling himself together just for him.

Padfoot doesn't cry when Moony cries, he will not yell when Moony yells—even if he yells completely unfairly—that was the rule because that was how they had been able to make this far.

Remus was just serenely studying Sirius' face: Those grey eyes were concentrated in casting healing charms all over his body, his nostrils were flaring but there was no hint of anger on that face, just deadpanned, he was frowning at the very unexpected wounds, his mouth was formed in a thin line, and his dark hair falling in his eyes which he didn't bother tugging behind his ear. He was so, so beautiful. And then the memory flashed in Remus' brain, again, and suddenly Sirius Black looked ten times more precious than he was right now. Remus didn't realize a whimper escaping his mouth until Sirius' eyes stopped to meet his.

Remus felt his heart skipped a beat, but there was a strange sense of satisfaction in exchanging a long stare. He could stare at him forever. He lifted his trembling hand and reached for Sirius' hair as he tugged a thick lock behind his ear, and a tear escaped Sirius' eyes.

"Don't leave me." Remus whispered.

"Selfish, are you?" Sirius' voice was hardly recognizable. Remus nodded, despite the pain in his heart, he knew how raw Sirius would become when he had been hurting. Sirius' plain expressions exchanged with the helplessness. Remus' hand was still tracing his damp face.

"Let's run away, then. Far away. Just you and me." Remus said, wanting to be just as raw as Sirius.

Today they were not being fire and water. They were being fire and fire, water and water. This was going either going to end in flames or a raging flood.

Little did Remus know, Sirius started sobbing as he shook his head. They were eventually back to being themselves. This was how it always ended. Either of them would break, and the other is there to pick up the pieces.

As much as broken Remus was, physically, Sirius was wounded deeply as he cried. He had never cried when Remus was suffering. He had known how to stay strong, but this time he was quivering in between his sobs.

"We wouldn't have to return, you know. Let's do this." Remus was also silently crying, but that didn't mean that he was ignoring Sirius shaking his head in disapproval. He held Sirius’ forearm to sit up, and he wrapped his aching arms around him.

"Don't do this," Sirius whispered in his hair.

"Then why do you make me do this?" Remus pulled away to face the other in the eyes. "Why do you throw yourself into hell as if you are searching death and wanting it to hit you!?

He was suddenly speaking so loudly and Sirius was looking down at their hands. Remus had wanted to say those words to put some sense into Sirius, but few hours after the dueling, he himself had disapparated to the Shrieking Shack when the wolf inside him had started to signal his arrival. In the meantime of his transformation, he hadn’t forgotten the dueling, the cruciatus curse hitting the love of his life, and most importantly, the urge to see him in one piece before him.

"As if you completely forget that I am here too! At your side. You don't even acknowledge the fact how much your actions would hurt me! Your pain is my pain, Sirius Black!" He poked him harshly on his chest. "You don't let only yourself be dead, but you also kill me! You don't fucking realize how much I love you! You fucking dumb tosser! I can't watch you die! I can't let you get away from me! I can't live without you! Why don't you understand!?

Remus' chest was heaving raggedly. He had forgotten about his wounds, and now he was just staring at Sirius' glistening eyes. They were leaking tears so silently. He looked so small and vulnerable. Remus held his face in his hands and pulled his forehead to his lips to press a chaste kiss there.

"I am sorry." Sirius' raspy voice sent a shiver down to Remus' body.

"I want to get out of it. But I don't think I can without you. I want to protect you like you have your whole life. Let me protect you, please."

"I'd die for you-"

"I don't want you to die for me!" Remus grabbed Sirius' wrists and tugged him close at his eye level, "I want you to live for me!"

"I'm responsible for this, Moony." His voice was weak and muffled because he had slipped his head in the crook of Remus' neck.

"What are you talking about?"

He met Remus' eyes. "I know...I can't say if I disagree with you because I don't. But then when I look at you, James, Lily, and Peter, I feel like I owe you all. My own blood is out there killing innocent people..."

Suddenly, everything was making sense to Remus; the hard glare of Sirius while he is dueling with those masked death eaters, the concentration that would be keen to linger when he disarms them, aiming charms and spell on those masks which could reveal their identity and Sirius would either sigh in relief if Regulus Black isn't behind that mask.

"I feel like I am responsible for every life because my blood is aiming to kill the people I so dearly love, Remus. I can't give up on you so easily. I don't care about myself!

“You can't see me dying, can you? I saw you on the verge of death every month since for years and I still do, but I cannot fight that miserable fate. I actually thought when I was twelve that I could find a cure for your lycanthropy. I actually believed that one day I will be the one to take the pain away from you. I was so naïve. Now these people, who are also my unfortunate family, are trying to kill you. I can’t stand that.

“So you asked me who am I fighting for? I am fighting for you."

Remus opened his mouth to speak but the words died in his mouth. Sirius had left him utterly speechless.

"You don't care about yourself," He spoke after a lingering silence, "but I care about you so you have to care about that."

Remus knew that his words sounded very stupid but Sirius chuckled and shoved him in his embrace.

"I love you, Remus John Lupin. I love you more than anything. And I promise that I will be careful for you, just for you because I don’t want to hurt you in anyway."

“You better not,” Remus leaned close and pressed his forehead against Sirius’. “Otherwise, I won’t share my jumpers with you.”

“A little less tyranny, Moony, I’m fragile!”

[tagthescullion]

I don't know how popular this is,but I hate 95% of antagonist/villain Luke Castellan fics. Okay,the guy is a shithead in canon,but he does bad stuff with a goal,and still feels human(albeit one with a bad personality). In those fics, however,Luke is often there just to be Annabeth's bad boyfriend that mistreats her just because,or the one note bully who hates Percy. Besides that not really fitting his canon characterisation (different kinds of bad people exist), they're often so one note and boring.

Oof yes, mate, I’m on board with this. I can’t stand cheater ex bf Luke fics, they grate on my nerves

Luke’s an arse, a tosser, a whatever you want to call him, but in PJO he does what he does for a cause. In a way, his thinking is “the end justifies the means”, which we can agree or disagree with morally, but it’s something many people live by. Luke behaves that way for something he believes in, and to be fair his objective: overthrowing the gods because they’ve mistreated their inferiors, isn’t even all that selfish, even if his methods are cruel. His primary goal isn’t glory for himself, but a less unjust system his comrades can live in

How does that translate to cheating bastard or schoolyard bully? Either people like 2D characters or they don’t care to create a better villain. Or maybe I’m the odd one out and I don’t like those stories because Luke’s my problematic fave

[polyboros]

axel and robbins + holiness?

nothing axel has ever done here could be considered good, or pure, or righteous, in any sense of those words. he’d describe it as selfish, corrupting, and on a good day, protection, maybe, if he had the words to describe it in its entirety. but he doesn’t.

selfish; it was for others, but it was for him, really, him and robbins and him and him and him alone. corrupting; if anything on the list was self-explanatory, it would be this, the scars and the stains on his face tears/shadows left behind and the blindfold, the sacrifice and the hunger and the something-else-in-his-head and the-hole-it-left-behind.

protection, though, was something he only rolled around when he was knee-deep thinking about it already, testing the shape of the word in his mouth. protection (selfish, corrupting in nature) of himself. protecting (his partner, friend, something, the words not there) robbins. he looks at robbins and kits scars and the curl of kits hands around inky-black marring through kits own eyes and knows he didn’t do a very good job of it. he knows with a certainty, the same certainty robbins told him you’re an idiot and you shouldn’t have fucking done this with, that not doing a job at all would’ve been much, much worse.

and even that’s not enough. there’s a million more wordless feelings in the-hole-it-left-behind, pressing and fading and coming back in the dark/with blood/at dusk. so he doesn’t describe it with any of that, really. he tries not to linger on it at all; it’s been years, and they’re finding their footing again, and he doesn’t need to think of being selfish or corruption or protection when he has this.

this; an apartment, with a couch and one bedroom and a kitchen and eyes carved into the corners that he rarely uses anymore, the layout near-memorized. a guide dog, so he doesn’t have to strain himself to find/use/see through sigils, so that in the lack of them he’s not lost, support that he’s needed for years. siestas and baltimore and brunches and new people.

this; robbins, in kits jacket, not in kits comfort zone, stumbling kits way through interactions with the crabs and the crabitat and other shadows with the grace of a newborn deer and all the anger kits always had slowly slipping. robbins, who went on a roadtrip all siesta with matheo and came back bright, who agreed to dinner with forbes and tosser and then dragged him along with. robbins, who’s staying in baltimore just because of the off-chance he’ll be faxed into play. robbins, who’s curled up in his lap on the couch because they’re up too-late and neither of them bothered to get up and go to their bed, who’s purring enough for him to hear, who’s more relaxed than kits been in years. 

if there was anything axel would call good, or pure, or holy, even, it would be this. the absence of anything but kit, and a home, and people to have over. the absence of anything with him besides that. but those aren’t the right words, either, don’t fit right when he considers them. that’s alright, maybe, now. there’s no need to describe this to anyone else, only to have it slip away. this is something he can linger on, maybe. 

this is something he can be selfish about.

[new-endings]

in which crowley asks god for aziraphale’s hand in marriage

(or well, not so much asks, but informs Her that it’s happening with or without her blessing)

Crowley sighed, trying to keep still; after years of trying to gain tolerance, it was still hard to stand on consecrated grounds. “Look, I want him. I know he’s your best angel and the only one worth even a fraction of your divinity with the rest of your lot being absolute tossers—” he sighed, shuddering a breath as his feet burned.

He looked up at the stained glass, spilling color beautifully onto the floor before him. “But I love him. And he loves me, believe it or not. And honestly, I still can’t believe it myself. Lucky bastard I am, right?”

But even its light refused to reach him.

“And I know it doesn’t mean anything if I asked—but to be clear, I’m not. ‘cause I’m marrying him anyways. That’s right. A demon and an angel, in un-holy-holy matrimony. Because he chose me damn you, and I love him for who he is while you only loved him for obeying and I—“

No. His cries and pleas were wasted here. Millennia of nothing but silence has taught him this.

But for Aziraphale—he’d do anything. “All I ask is…that you don’t make him suffer for his choice. Because I’m a demon. And I’m selfish enough to want to be his choice…even if it’s not the right one.”

Don’t make him fall—don’t cast him out because of me. Don’t hurt him because of me.

“So—just. Just stay out of it all right? Just. Keep quiet and don’t answer—don’t say anything.” He swallowed back lifetimes of bitterness. “You’re good at that.”

He was greeted with silence, just as he expected. The light filtering through dimmed and the colors washed away. Crowley felt his heart sink.

“We’re not getting married in a church, that’s for bloody certain,” he muttered as he turned away. “So. Yeah. Just letting you know.”

He exited the church, heart heavy for reasons he didn’t want to give thought, to give voice to.

As he stepped out onto the gray London day, a crash of lightning bellowed through the skies and for one, horrible moment, Crowley thought God Herself was storming down from the heavens to smite him where he stood.

Instead, a downpour fell, and Crowley watched wordlessly as passerby pedestrians scrambled for shelter at the torrential rain that followed. He himself was getting soaked to the bone but he did little more than stand still, feet still burning, though the pain was lessened somehow.

Well, he was, until he felt a familiar presence beside him.

“You’re getting soaked, dear.” Crowley looked up and found a familiar canopy of white feathers hanging over him. He chuckled and stepped closer.

Aziraphale looked at him, a quiet expression on his lovely face. Crowley expected him to ask a question, but this one wasn’t the one he’d expected: “Hm…doesn’t this seem familiar?” He gave a laugh when he was met with confusion. “Like when we first met.”

Crowley’s eyes widened, something in his heart swelling with something like gratitude, something like hope as he cast his eyes to the sky. “Yeah,” he managed to get out as Aziraphale laced their fingers together, a smooth metal band on his marriage hand warm against Crowley’s skin. “My thoughts exactly.”

[mean-scarlet-deceiver]

Fic: QLIR ‘Careless’ Outtake (Henry, Gordon, the Three Not-So-Unnamed Tender Engines)

The ‘Stack Alone’ storyline heavily involves ‘The Red Engine’ from the first RWS installment. 

So perhaps it’s time to share my take on the ‘three unnamed tender engines’ from Book 1. 

In ficcy form! 

Unlike most fanon, I have ‘The Red Engine’ as the leader and not remotely an okay guy at all. Without him, 98462 would just be your typical big engine with the patented attitude, but the Red Engine is a charismatic sociopath. 87546 is a straight-up reckless and selfish idiot, but, again, made considerably worse by these enterprising friends he makes on Sodor. ‘The Red Engine’ escapes censure in The Official History Books because he totally had FC1 wrapped around his buffers... much to the en-maddenment of our three railway engines. 

Samuel: ‘The Red Engine’ (there’s only one, in this story; the author’s and illustrators’ Issues are not my problem to fix) Ipswich: 98462  Lloyd (full name ‘Lloyd George’): 87546

Here is an outtake (carefully avoiding... major spoilers) from QLIR ‘Season 2: Careless.’ 

Summary: February 1924. The loaners ascend to dizzying heights of malice. Henry sticks his funnel out (spoiler alert: for all we don’t really explore it in this snippet, making an enemy of these three, obviously not good not good not good and Henry definitely will have fallout to deal with). Gordon also finds that he’s hit a limit, and is much better at enforcing it. 

Henry heard the three of them cackling long before he actually arrived, which he did with the greatest reluctance. Of all the places he hadn’t wanted to go in his short life, the sheds, on that particular night, were right up there.   

Each turn of his rods and pistons was an alternation between terror and fury, terror and fury…   

“Such carelessness!” Samuel was laughing merrily as Henry came into sight, enjoying his act of affected surprise. “Considering that it’s all the little tank engine does, you’d think he’d know his business better than that.”   

“I wonder if that controller is even going to bother with his repairs?” asked Ipswich.   

“Oh, he’d better. And put a rush on it, too. Didn’t you hear, he really thinks we’re going to fetch our own stock now!”   

“What!” burst out Lloyd.   

“That’s no way to run a yard,” said Ipswich, who was still grinning broadly, as if this were merely the next game, which he intended they should win.   

“Don’t we have a spare engine for just this sort of thing?” said Lloyd. “Steam him up and have him do it.”   

Closed up in the furthest berth, Edward was oblivious to all of this. Weeks ago he had finally gone silent, numb, and unconscious.   

And, although Henry knew all too well, that, no matter how deeply you retreated, there was no place where one could quite escape the unbroken winter cold… Henry still envied him. 

He did?   

He realized that yes, it was just so.   

The tug-of-war between terror and fury abruptly snapped. Henry was abruptly buried in a avalanche of loneliness, and horror, and shame.   

He’d thought, briefly, that these evil tossers were his friends.   

“Shut up!”   

He heard his own voice—fierce and shaking—with as much surprise as the rest. And with perhaps more than one of them: Samuel raised his eyebrows but, as usual, didn’t seem too thrown off by anything at all. “What’s that, Harry m’boy?”  

“I said shut up!” The fury was still there. So was the terror. So was everything. Henry couldn’t see straight. “What was the point of that? He could have been hurt! He was hurt! His fireman was hurt! And why? Why? What did Thomas ever do to you?”   

They were chuckling.   

“Annoys the hell out of us all, don’t he?” asked Ipswich.   

“And instead of annoying him back you nearly get him exploded?!”   

“Fixed the problem, didn’t it?” asked Lloyd. “You’re welcome.”   

“Just making one little improvement around here at a time,” said Samuel.   

“You lot are—are—” 

“Ooh,” said Lloyd. “We’re waiting.”   

“Go on, then.”   

“Make it worth our while, Harry!”   

“—are—sociopathic!”   

They stared briefly. Then laughed long and hard.   

“Did it sneeze?” asked Samuel, looking, as usual, good-humored and cherubic.  

“It's just making up words, isn’t it?” asked Ipswich. 

“I didn't think a sham could have a vocabulary like that!” said Lloyd.   

“It’s a real word, you ignoramuses,” grumbled a new voice. “And he’s right.”   

Gordon had come up, and the loaners had been cackling too loudly for anyone to notice... 

... until he burst on through the turntable far too swiftly.   

He screeched to a sudden, sharp stop, only directly in front of Samuel’s buffers.  

“Ah, Gordon, dear fellow!” Samuel managed to wink. “Heard the news?”   

Gordon abruptly reversed, and then surged forward once more.   

Samuel squeaked before Gordon came to a stop again… merely tapping him… though with an audible clank.   

Aside from the engines’ low steaming, the men's incoherent murmuring, and the hoots of distant owls, there was total silence in the now-still yard.   

Everyone stared as the cloud of steam slowly dissipated, leaving only a thunderous-looking Gresley Pacific who loomed over the Fey.   

“Next time you’re at loose ends,” Gordon rumbled, “pick on someone your own size.”   

Samuel had never been daunted before, and he wasn’t now—having already recovered from his shock.   

“Or what?” he smiled.   

“Or next time I don’t stop.” Gordon sounded bored.   

“Ho!” Samuel laughed, and Lloyd and Ipswich tried to follow, though they were significantly less hearty about the business. “Controller’d know you were the only one who could have dealt such damage. You’d be rumbled!”   

Gordon remained calm, to say nothing of supremely dismissive. “If you told on me, then I’d tell too. Wouldn’t go well for you.”   

“Aren’t threats a little beneath you, Gresley?”   

“Threat? Fact. Don’t believe it’s gotten through your thick smokebox yet, just how much Controller dotes on that little one.”   

“And you, too?” Samuel waggled his eyebrows. “Touching, really!”   

“Our problems will be kept among ourselves from now on,” Gordon proclaimed. “Disgraceful business, to drag tank engines into it.”   

“Oh,” breathed Ipswich. “It’s a matter of honor, then!”   

“Quite right. Budge over,” Gordon said aside, to Henry, as he backed again onto the turntable. “Pushing around a simple small fool like that—no honor in it at all. Number one is off-limits, and that’s that.”   

“Just an express engine and his station pilot,” Lloyd cooed, once Gordon slowly turned, approaching him. “That’s sweet.”   

Gordon eyed Lloyd as if he hadn’t yet noticed him, and was surprised to find that he still existed.   

“You really want to go another round, Great Western?”   

“We’re told we ought to pick on someone our own size,” said Lloyd. “And I like to pull above my weight!”   

Henry and Gordon snorted simultaneously. Lloyd seemed rather shocked at this double bind, and gaped at Henry.   

“Oh?” Samuel beamed at the two bigger engines. “Are we picking teams, then?”   

“There are no teams, you yammering fools,” said Gordon. He backed roughly into his berth. “There’s only me, and then the rest of you zippy idiots—who, by the way, are going to be arranging my trains too, since I had nothing to do with the shameful affair, and am not about to suffer for it. Now stuff it up your funnel, Fey, and hold your peace. I don’t think you realize,” he forged on, suddenly quick and angry, when Samuel almost spoke again, “what ‘indispensable’ actually means. We have, as you note, a spare engine. The only job he couldn’t manage to sort, if Controller decides he’d rather have a civilized railway again, is mine. So the only one who is ‘indispensable’—is me.” He eyed every single one of them in turn, including Henry, who was as speechless as the rest and rather offended, to have been included in this gallery of rogues. At the end of this disgusted survey, Gordon grunted and closed his eyes. “Good night.”   

Henry had to hand it to him. It did indeed turn out, improbably enough, to be the most peaceful night the sheds had seen since Lloyd had arrived to complete the trio from hell.   

And it was a shame that he was still far too upset by the news about Thomas to enjoy it in the least.

[believingispowerfulmagic]

“The Surprise” (Better When I’m Dancing) Chapter 2: Results

Here’s my second entry for OQ Update Month! 

"Okay, from what I can tell you are about seven weeks along," Dr. Cobb said, looking at the blob on the screen in front of her.

Regina stared at it, mesmerized. She and Robin had talked about expanding their family but had taken a rather "que sera, sera" approach after their wedding. With him touring and her participating on the show, they didn't want to try in earnest just yet - agreeing to wait another year.

It seems nature had other plans.

"So wait, she's been pregnant during almost the entire competition?" Robin asked, frowning. "Will that affect the baby?"

Dr. Cobb shook her head. "No, not really. Regina is healthy and her body is already used to ballroom dancing, which gives her an advantage. She can continue dancing as her pregnancy progresses, though you will have to limit which stunts you do."

"I understand," Regina said. "Not my first time at this particular rodeo."

"I thought you stopped dancing to have Henry?" he asked, sounding confused.

She chuckled. "Yes, but not at first. Daniel and I danced until I was about six months along and really starting to show, not that Gold was happy about that."

"I imagine Gold wasn't happy about a lot," he replied, scowling at the thought of her former coach and the former head judge on the show. She didn't blame him - Gold had tormented her for years and then had turned his ire onto them while they were on the show together. Even though it had been a few years since they last saw him, the thought of him still left a bad taste in both their mouths.

"Do you have any other questions?" Dr. Cobb asked, looking mostly at Robin. "I'm happy to answer them."

He shook his head. "Not right now. But maybe next time?"

The doctor laughed. "Alright. Well, everything looks good and I'll sign off on you dancing tonight. Just watch your sugar levels. We can't have you fainting again."

"I will be careful," Regina promised. She then patted Robin's hand. "He'll also make sure I eat."

"Absolutely," he replied, kissing her hand.

Dr. Cobb nodded, standing. "Good. But I do want to keep an eye on you to make sure you don't develop gestational diabetes."

"Is that a possibility?" he asked, sounding panicked again. Regina wondered if he had been this bad with Marian and decided to ask Claire about it later.

"Well, in some ways, it's always a possibility. But the fact that Regina already had an experience of low blood sugar is concerning. However, she does have some other factors that also contribute to low blood sugar - she's in active competition and so keeping up with an athletic routine. And she didn't know she was pregnant so she maybe didn't make the same choices about food she would've had she known," Dr. Cobb explained matter-of-factly but still in a comforting tone.

Regina nodded before patting Robin's hand. "So what she's saying is that it's a possibility but not necessarily a given."

Dr. Cobb nodded. "Exactly."

"Alright," he said, relaxing a bit. He turned to the doctor. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Now, why don't you two go home, get something to eat and get some rest before today's show?" Dr. Cobb suggested. She then turned to Robin. "And don't Google anything I talked about today. Got it, Dad?"

Robin looked sheepish as he nodded. "Got it."

He then helped Regina up and she went to change from the gown they had given her when she was shown into the office. Back in her clothes, she took his hand and they went so she could schedule her next appointment. The admin there handed her an envelope with their first sonogram pictures and congratulated them. She then leaned forward. "I'm a big fan," she told them.

"Thank you," Regina replied, trusting that no one from the office would leak their news to the media. After all, no one had yet.

Once they were in Robin's car and driving home, he glanced at her. "So what are you going to tell the show?"

"The truth," she replied. "They need to know I'm pregnant so they don't try to plan something that could hurt the baby."

He nodded. "Alright. Are you going to tell Percy?"

She sighed, nodding. "I really have no choice. But not tonight. Nothing in our routines could hurt me or the baby so we're fine. I'll tell him tomorrow."

"Alright," he said, clicking on the radio and hearing one of his songs. He chuckled. "Talk about timing, huh?"

Regina rolled her eyes but smiled, happily listening to her husband's voice. She rubbed her stomach wondering if their child would inherit her dancing abilities or his musical talents. Or would he or she have a talent or passion completely separate from the arts?

"That was the latest single from Robin Locksley and the Merry Men," the DJ said as the song ended. "And we have some news about his wife, Dancing With the Stars pro dancer Regina Mills. Video leaked from last night's dress rehearsals showed the dancer passing out while rehearsing her number with partner Percy Pellinore. The video then shows her being wheeled out by paramedics and the local hospital confirms she was treated and released late that night, though of course they couldn't say why due to privacy issues."

She groaned as the DJ continued: "While we've heard nothing from the show or Regina, hopefully we'll get some answers on tonight's show - if she dances."

"Do you think the show leaked the footage to get some publicity ahead of tonight's show?" Robin asked, his voice low and brimming with anger.

"I don't know," she replied, annoyed as well. "I hope not. I trust Nimue would know by now to always loop us in whenever they were going to do something like that."

Her phone rang and Regina sighed. "It's Mal. I hope she's just checking in and not telling me something else."

"How are you?" Mal asked as soon as Regina picked up. "What is going on? I heard that you've been tired all week and even had to take a day off. And then when you go back, you end up passing out and being rushed to the hospital. That's not like you and I'm worried, Regina."

Regina smiled, putting Mal on speaker phone. "You're on speaker. Robin's here with me."

"Hi, Mal," he replied, eyes still on the road.

Mal paused for a moment. "Well, he sounds calm so I take it the diagnosis isn't really bad."

"It's not really bad," Regina said as Robin chuckled. "Actually...I'm pregnant."

"Very funny," Mal said. "Now tell me what's really going on."

Robin chuckled as Regina shook her head. "I'm not messing with you, Mal. The fatigue and the low blood sugar were all because I'm pregnant."

Her agent was quiet again before letting out a little shriek. "Congratulations!"

"Thank you," Regina said, laughing at Mal's reaction. "We're not telling anyone just yet - just the family and a select few people."

"Of course. Do you want me to inform the show or do you?" Mal asked.

Regina paused, considering the answer. She and Nimue had a good relationship over her time on the show but Regina figured she should go through proper channels this time. "Can you? I think it's only right," she said.

"I was about to give Nimue a call anyway about that video. Given that we're usually involved in planned leaks, I'm guessing this was not planned," Mal said, sounding annoyed.

"That's what I figured," Regina replied. "Though I'm surprised. The crew is usually very good and I don't think anyone is new."

Mal hummed. "Do you think it could be a contestant?"

Regina sighed, going through all the contestants in her mind. "It's possible. Or maybe one of their staff. I'm trying not to suspect my partner but…"

"He's a complete tosser," Robin finished, barely keeping the bitterness out of his voice.

"Has he been giving you any trouble, Regina?" Mal asked, sounding ready to fight Percy for her.

Regina paused for a moment before saying: "No more than he gives anyone else. He's just insufferable and very selfish."

"But you still suspect him of releasing it," Mal replied.

"It would get him some publicity," Regina said. "And maybe some sympathy votes. And it would probably spite me too while giving him an excuse – like he would be doing better if his partner was so weak and unprofessional."

Mal was silent and Regina felt the temperature drop in the car. When she glanced at Robin, his eyes remained on the road but she could tell that he was clenching his jaw. His knuckles were white, meaning he was really gripping the wheel as well.

"Does he say that shit to you?" Mal asked in a low voice, her anger simmering.

"Not usually," Regina replied. "But he hasn't been pleased with the fact I've been fatigued and needed to take time off this week."

"Tough shit," Robin said, scowling.

Mal chuckled. "I agree with your husband there. If he gives you any trouble…"

"I'll let you know," Regina promised. "He's just a spoiled brat in the end. I think I can handle him for a few more weeks."

"Alright," Mal replied. "Anything else?"

"No, not right now," Regina said. "Thank you, Mal."

She said her goodbyes and hung up the phone. Regina let her phone fall into her lap as she looked at Robin. "Are you okay?"

"I want to kick your partner's arse," he replied.

"I can tell," she said, reaching over to rub his leg. "But I'm fine. Percy's not a threat. He's just a nuisance."

He let out a shaky breath. "If you're sure…"

She nodded. "I am. So if I ask you to come to the show tonight, you promise not to fight with him?"

"I promise," he replied. He glanced at her. "Do you really want me there?"

"I do. There's going to be a lot of spotlight on me tonight and I'd feel better knowing you were there to support me - from the audience," she replied.

Robin smiled. "I can do that. You know I love coming to the show and watching you - and everyone else - perform."

She nodded. "I do."

They arrived at the house and Robin hit the button to open his gate. He pulled in and parked the car, taking her hand to kiss it before smiling lovingly at her. "Come on. Let me get some food for you and our baby."

"We both like the sound of that," Regina said, a thrill rushing through her as he said our baby. She still couldn't believe she was pregnant and she was overjoyed to experience motherhood yet again.

And she couldn't ask for a better partner in this new adventure than Robin, she thought as they got out of the car and headed into the house.

She and the baby were very lucky indeed.

Continue reading on FFN, AO3 or Wattpad

[dirt-cup-draco]

Severus Snape x Reader - Look At Me (2/2)

tag list: @accio-boys @sweet-pinkrose @xxcharliecakesxx

Previously:

Your hurt and anxiety was melting away as Severus stood close, stroking your cheek gently as your tears subsided. You understood what unrequited feelings could do to a person. If he cared for Lily like you cared for him, you were sure that he was devastated they were no longer friends. You would stick by him though, and maybe one day he’d look at you like he looked at her.

You looked over at the students as they swayed on the dance floor, celebrating the triwizard tournament as the visiting schools joined in the festivities of the yule ball. It was good to see everyone having so much fun. This was your first year as a professor and it had given you the fulfillment you had been seeking for so long. Looking at the kids it reminded you of your own yule ball.

“We might as well go together,” Severus had said as you lounged in the library, tucked away from the rest of the students as you thumbed through your homework. 

“What are you going on about?” You asked as you snapped back to the present. Being around Severus had been easier, your feelings weren’t gone but you had both found a happy medium. He didn’t try to embarrass you too much and you didn’t mention how you felt.

“The yule ball,” He said easily as if it hadn’t been something you had been anticipating and dreaming of all year. You wished he wouldn’t sound so nonchalant about it. You knew from the tone of his voice that it was nothing to him and this was as easy to him as asking if you would let him borrow a pencil. 

“What if someone wants to go with me because they like me?” 

“Would you say yes?” Severus asked, eye quirked, already knowing the answer. 

Of course you wouldn’t. Severus Snape was asking you to the ball and this was his last year at Hogwarts. How could you say no to him no matter who else asked you? 

“You tosser,” You grumbled and Severus smiled. He was glad you didn’t seem to hold him above being a jerk. He knew it might not be fair but he didn’t tolerate anyone other than you so it seemed simple that he asked you. Severus knew how you felt but he knew you wouldn’t talk about it. He was grateful for that. Severus still loved Lily even if he told himself he hated every little thing about her. 

“I’ll take that as a yes,” He smirked. 

Two weeks later you were dressed in a ravenclaw blue gown and Severus arrived in a neat suit, a matching tie. Blue complimented him. 

His hands had been warm on your hips as you two swayed and he let himself give you a compliment. You were pretty, that was just a fact. Severus could appreciate beauty and you had it. From everything to your sparkling eyes to your dopey smile. He might not feel the same but he did care for you. You had ended up being a very good friend to have. Who knew? 

“You look handsome,” You had responded back and he grinned down at you. 

“I suppose I shouldn’t say ‘you too’,” You snickered at his attempt at a joke. 

The night turned for the worst however, Severus being overcome by the green monster that had plagued him all last year, continuing into this one. Lily Evans was stunning and James Potter was just as impressive beside her. It couldn’t be denied by anyone they looked lovely together, more than that they looked happy. A kind of happy no one could touch or fathom. Even Severus couldn’t deny it and that was one of his most practiced skills. 

Lily caught his eye and in a moment of bitterness he looked back to you and pressed his lips to yours in a stiff kiss that you knew meant nothing to him and everything to you. You felt his emotions flow through you. Anger and jealousy and loss. 

“I can’t,” You pushed him away, eyes already misting over. You couldn’t do this anymore. You couldn’t be Severus’ second choice any time he missed Lily and wanted a distraction. “Have a good night Sev,” You said, leaving the great hall in a rush as he stared after you, that familiar guilt he always felt when he realized he had hurt you again. 

You had cried your eyes out all night and he had stayed awake, Lily on his mind instead of you. The next day you had pretended nothing had happened.It was back to talking of school and finals and anything else about what he’d done and how you’d felt about it. You loved Severus but he could be very selfish. 

Looking around and spotting him sitting at the lengthy table, you were surprised to find that he was indeed looking your way. You smiled slightly and gave him a wave. He nodded in your direction, expression stern but not unwelcoming. You made your way to him, sitting beside him. 

“You look like you’re having a blast,” You teased.

“Indubitably,” He said dryly but you managed to force him into a smile that had always managed to look more like a grimace now matter what he was feeling. To you, he still looked like the boy you had known. His hair was longer though, the angle of his jaw sharp as the hook of his nose but still terribly handsome. 

You both fell into a silence that left you nervous. 

“You never could sit still if you weren’t saying something,” He mentioned and you rolled your eyes, a smile easily making it’s way onto your face. 

That is one Severus had always appreciated about you. You smiled freely no matter what. He felt after losing Lily that he couldn’t do that but you, facing him time after time after being hurt more than once, still managed to smile like nothing in the world was wrong. He supposed he owed you an apology. 

“Y/N, I must say something,” Severus lowered his voice and you leaned forward to hear him above the chatter and joy of the students. “I’ve been unfair to you,” He started, trying to articulate his words in a way that wouldn’t ultimately leave you wounded again. 

“Severus, we were children I don’t hold anything against you,” You said easily but it didn’t ease his conscience. 

“I know you don’t and it’s why I was-” Severus paused. He never was one for explaining his feelings. “I was lucky that you still continued to be my friend despite all I did to hurt you. I never considered your feelings and that was wrong of me, I wish for us to become well acquainted again, like we used to be,” 

Attachment could be a fickle and silly thing but Severus knew he never had to question it when it came to you. You were loyal and giving and kind. You forgave too easily and loved too much but it was admirable. In anyone else he would find it a fault, silly and dangerous, but he couldn’t find any fault in you at this moment. You had grown to be a beautiful woman as he knew you would.

“Of course Sev,” You grinned, hand resting on top of his. “You never stopped being my friend, by the way.” You mentioned. “We just haven’t seen one another for some time, that’s all.” He wondered how it could be so easy for you to let your past scars heal. Or maybe it wasn’t easy, maybe it was the forgiveness that helped the scars heal even if it still hurt. 

“Come,” He said, standing. “Let me make up for a past wrong,” Severus extended his hand to yours and he thought maybe his hardened heart had thumped a bit strong in his chest as you grinned up at him, taking his hand and letting him lead you in a dance. 

Severus Snape had been hurting for far too long because he was looking to the past. Maybe now, with you giving him another chance, he could look to the future by looking at you. It was about time he noticed you for all you were. 

[remywrites5]

Hi, I really love your fics and I was wondering if you could write a drarry fic where It's the Christmas hols and Draco sends Harry a card but it's really sappy(cuz they are already dating) and Fred and George steal it and read it out to the whole Weasley family. Then Ron and Hermione are trying to find out who it's from. Sory that was quite long I have so many ideas hehe

Merry Christmas everyone! (Or whatever winter holiday you celebrate!) 

***

           Harry tugged Draco closer by the front of his robes. They only had half an hour left before the train would be there to take them home for the holidays. It was plenty of time to get some last minute snogging in before they were to be separated until the New Year. They’d found a dark corner where they wouldn’t be disturbed.

           “When are you going to tell everyone about us?” Draco asked when he managed to unlock his lips from Harry’s for a moment.

           “I will,” Harry promised before capturing Draco’s lips again.

           Draco huffed in annoyance but let himself be kissed. “That’s not an answer, Potter.”

           Harry pulled back, rolling his eyes exaggeratedly. “Honestly Draco, we’ve been together for three weeks now. You still can’t call me Harry?”

           Draco grinned. “You like the way I say your surname,” he reasoned, nipping playfully at Harry’s bottom lip. “Don’t deny it.”

           “You’re such a git,” Harry admonished gently, tugging at the hair at Draco’s nape and making him gasp softly. “I don’t know why I like you.”

           “If I recall it had something to do with my arse and how shiny my hair is,” Draco teased him. “Not to mention my charm.”

           “Hmm,” Harry hummed, pulling Draco into another kiss, quickly deepening it and sliding his tongue into Draco’s mouth. “Yeah and why do you like me?”

           They heard a group of students coming down the corridor and both sprang apart quickly. Harry blushed scarlet and cleared his throat.

           Draco raised an eyebrow at him but didn’t say anything. “Guess you’ll have to wait until after the New Year to find out.” Harry whined and wanted to pull Draco back to him. His boyfriend smirked at him as if he knew exactly what Harry was thinking. He shot Harry a cheeky wink and then slipped into the crowd. “See you around, Potter.”

           Harry waited a few moments so no one would see him leaving the same dark corner as Draco. After what felt like an appropriate amount of time, Harry grabbed his stuff and joined the crowd headed out to go home. He found Ron and Hermione on the train, making an excuse for where he’d disappeared to, and listened to them chat as they made their way to King’s Cross Station. He wasn’t thinking about a certain blond tosser and his wicked lips or his infuriating manner. Not at all.

                                                           ***

           “You alright, Harry?” Sirius asked when they got a moment alone at Grimmauld place. “You seem a bit distracted.”

           “Oh no, I’m fine,” Harry said, smiling kindly at his godfather. He was glad that he got a chance to spend Christmas with Sirius. There had been so little time to see him.

           Sirius gave him a look as if he knew better. Harry felt himself blush under the scrutiny and rubbed the back of his neck nervously. He knew if anyone would understand it would probably be Sirius. After all, Sirius was into blokes as well and Draco was technically his family.

           “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want, Harry,” Sirius said, putting his hand on Harry’s shoulder. “But you know that you can tell me anything, right? Granted I haven’t had much practice with this whole Godfather thing but I’m here for you no matter what.”

           Harry chewed his bottom lip. “You promise you won’t tell anyone else?”

           Sirius chuckled. “Honestly Harry, I don’t know what could be going on that has you this worried – “

           “I have a boyfriend,” Harry blurted out before slapping his hand over his mouth.

           Sirius laughed harder. “Oh Harry,” he said, pulling Harry into a hug. “Is that all? From the way you were acting I thought it was something a lot more dire.”

           Harry shook his head and hugged Sirius tightly. “No, I just haven’t told anyone yet. Not even Ron or Hermione.”

           Sirius pulled back and ruffled Harry’s hair. “Well I’m honored that you came to me first,” he said, grinning like mad at Harry. “So who is it? I’m guessing it’s not Ron.”

           “No,” Harry said, making a face. “It’s…um…Draco…you know…Malfoy.”

           Sirius raised an eyebrow. “Lucius and Narcissa’s boy?”

           “Yeah,” Harry said, sighing heavily, his shoulders slumping. “That’s the one.”

           “How did that happen?”

           “I don’t know,” Harry said honestly. “He’s obnoxious and terrible but I couldn’t stop looking at him, you know? And then I noticed that he couldn’t stop looking at me either. It kind of just, um, went on from there.”

           Sirius had a huge smile on his face like he was trying very hard not to laugh. “And you fancy him then?”

           Harry nodded.

           “Don’t worry,” Sirius said, winking at Harry. “Your secret’s safe with me.”

           “Thanks Padfoot.”

                                                           ***

           Everyone was gathered for breakfast when a large barn owl landed in the window. Remus got up from the table and took the letter from the owl’s mouth, carefully pulling his hand back before it could nip him. “Looks like it’s for Harry,” he said, holding it out as the owl flew off.

           Harry went to grab it but before he could, Fred confiscated it. “Who’s this from, eh Harry?”

           “Yeah, everyone you know is here!” George joined in, taking it from Fred. “Maybe it’s a love note.”

           “Hey! Give that to me!” Harry said, jumping to his feet. He had a feeling her knew who it was from although he hadn’t expected Draco to write him over the holiday. “That’s mine!”

           “Honestly, Fred and George, don’t tease poor Harry!” Molly chided them from where she was cooking.

           Harry tried to get the letter out of George’s grasp but Fred blocked the way. George ripped it open and skimmed it quickly, his jaw dropping. Harry watched in mortification as a smile spread over George’s lips. “Wow Harry, you’ve got quite the admirer!”

           Fred grabbed it. “Dearest Harry, these are all the reasons I like you. Firstly I like your messy hair and the way it curls around your ears. I like your green eyes and the way they look in the sunlight when we’re sitting together down by the lake. I like how good you are at flying and Quidditch, how good you look on a broomstick – “

           Sirius went over and grabbed the letter out of Fred’s hand. “Sounds like this is something private,” he said, handing the letter to Harry.

           “Aww come on Sirius,” George said, pouting. “We were getting to the good part! There was something about Harry’s bum in there. “

           Harry had been turning progressively red the more they spoke. He took the letter from Sirius and held it close to his chest so no one else could take it away. He looked around the room at all the Weasleys, Hermione, Remus and Sirius. He was so embarrassed that he couldn’t imagine staying around for breakfast, even for cooking as good as Mrs. Weasley’s.

           He fled the room quickly and took the letter up to his bedroom. He sat on the floor by the bed and looked at it. He was too horrified to continue reading it, the letter having been ruined by Fred and George’s teasing. He was sitting on the floor feeling sorry for himself when the door opened and Hermione and Ron walked in.

           “Are you okay, Harry?” Hermione asked, sitting down next to him.

           “Sorry my brothers are such pricks,” Ron said, flopping onto the bed. “Was it another girl who’s in love with you for being the Chosen one?”

           Harry shook his head.

           “Is it Cho?” Hermione asked, nudging Harry lightly with her shoulder.

           “No.”

           “You know you can tell us, mate,” Ron said, brow furrowing in confusion. “We don’t care who it is, you know, if it happens to be a bloke or anything.”

           “Ron!” Hermione said, shooting him a look.

           “What?” Ron asked with a shrug.

           “He’s right though,” Hermione said. Her smile was kind and understanding. “You deserve some happiness, Harry. Now more than ever.”

           Harry gave her a tentative smile. “Thanks, that means a lot. But I – I don’t know if I’m ready to tell you about him just yet.”

           “So it is a bloke?” Ron said, sitting up. “It’s not me, is it?”

           “Why does everyone ask me that?” Harry asked, throwing his arms up. “And no Ron, I think you’d know if you’d written me a love note.”

           “Oh right,” Ron said, scratching his chin. “And well I’m not into blokes so…”

           “Not unless it’s Victor Krum,” Harry joked, punching Ron lightly in the arm.

           “I don’t have a crush on Krum,” Ron said despite the blush rising to his cheeks.

           Harry laughed. “I’ll tell you soon, I promise. I just want to make sure he’s okay with it.”

           “Considering that letter he sent you, I’d say he’s more than okay with it,” Hermione said, putting her arm around Harry and hugging him. Harry rested his head on her shoulder and let his friends comfort him. He was surprised to find that he wished Draco was there with him.

                                                           ***

           Later that night, Harry took his letter to the window and read it. He skimmed over the beginning, those words now emblazoned in his memory, and continued on from there.

           I like kissing you and all the secret moments together we get to share. I know a lot of people think they know you but I’m happy to be in the small group of people who actually do. I hope to continue to get to know you better. While this thing between is still very new, I want you to know that I consider myself very lucky.

           Usually I look forward to the Holidays and getting a chance to see my mother but I find myself wishing I had stayed at school. It would have only been worthwhile though if you had remained behind with me. It would have been impossible though as I know you have a lot of people acquiring your attention. Perhaps it’s selfish of me to wish for all of it but I can’t help it.

           If you require more reasons why I like you I’d be happy to continue this in person. I didn’t want you to doubt my affections while we’re away from each other even though I enjoy teasing you. I believe I’ve been quite soppy enough but allow me one final bit. I miss you.

           Harry folded the letter up and went back to bed. He tucked the letter into his pillowcase where no one could get it without waking him up. He worried about the twins trying to get it again. As he fell asleep, he had the biggest smile on his face.

                                                           ***

           Harry ignored some of the jibes he got during Christmas dinner. At least Ron and Hermione were being supportive. Harry had a feeling Sirius had told Remus about it, even if he hadn’t divulged that it was Draco that Harry was dating, both Remus and Sirius kept shooting him understanding glances.

           He was a bit relieved that by Boxing Day everyone seemed to have moved on from his love letter from Draco. Harry felt bad that he hadn’t responded to the lovely letter Draco had written but it was difficult to find a moment alone. He would just have to make it up to Draco the next time he saw him.

           Harry was in the sitting room with Ron, Hermione, Remus and Sirius. Hermione was getting a head start on her school reading while Remus and Ron played chess. Harry sat with Sirius, asking him questions about when they were at Hogwarts. Harry soaked up all the stories about his parents, listening to Sirius tell stories of their adventures with Remus chipping in from the side to correct Sirius when he exaggerated or stretched the truth.

           They all turned in surprise when the fireplace roared with the sound of someone using the floo. Harry jumped to his feet in shock when Draco of all people came through. He looked around, his body clearly tense as if defensive. He smiled slightly as Harry but as quick as it came it was gone and he was back to an impassive mask.

           “Malfoy?” Ron said, looking up from his game with Remus. “What are you doing here?”

           Harry had wanted to ask something similar but he bit his tongue.

           “I invited him.” Everyone turned to look at Sirius as Sirius walked over to Draco. “It’s very nice to meet you, nephew,” he said warmly, holding his hand out to Draco.

           Draco looked hesitant for a moment and then he shook Sirius’ hand. “It’s nice to meet you too,” he said stiffly. “Thank you for inviting me. I must say I was surprised to receive your owl at the Manor this morning.”

           “I’m just glad you accepted my invitation!” Sirius said, dropping Draco’s hand. “Can I get you anything? Tea?”

           Draco looked at Sirius like he wasn’t quite sure how to respond. His eyes flickered over to Harry, who gave him an encouraging smile, before his gaze went back to Sirius. “Uh, sure. Tea would be lovely.”

           Ron still had his jaw slack in shock at having Malfoy with them. Hermione was glancing over at Harry as if piecing something together. Remus was calmly studying the chess board in order to make his next move. Harry, for his part, was just glad that the twins had gone back to the Burrow.

           “Um, Malfoy…” Harry finally spoke up. “Can I have a word with you?”

           Draco’s eyes darted around for a moment and then he gave a terse nod. He followed Harry out of the room. They ended up in the room with the Black family tree and Draco looked at it in awe, following the names on his ancestors. His eyes widened when he noticed Sirius’ blackened out name.

           “Draco, about your letter…”

           Draco’s attention snapped over to Harry. “Why am I here, Potter?”

           “I have no idea,” Harry said honestly with a shrug. “I had no idea Sirius was inviting you. I…I told him about us.”

           “No doubt he’s brought me here to threaten me.”

           Harry narrowed his eyes. “Sirius wouldn’t do that.”

           Draco raised an eyebrow. “He is a convicted killer.”

           Harry rubbed his forehead and sighed heavily. “Merlin’s beard I’ve got a lot to fill you in on.”

           “Don’t bother.”

           “What?”

           Draco ran his fingers through his hair and got to his full height, using the few inches he had on Harry to his advantage. “I know why I’m here. Your family doesn’t think I’m good enough for you. You told your Godfather we were dating and he’s going to tell me to leave you alone. They hardly were going to support this considering who my family is, who my father is.”

           “Draco, come on, Sirius wouldn’t – “ Harry reached out to touch Draco but he pulled away. Harry dropped his arm heavily back to his side.

           “Don’t touch me,” Draco spat out. “I should have known this would happen. I should have – “

           “Draco!” Harry shouted, cutting him off. “I’m not ending things! That letter you wrote me, it was…wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. And this place is a safe house for the Order. Sirius wouldn’t have given you the floo address if he didn’t trust you or at least trust me to trust you. No one is going to threaten you.”

           “Sorry to interrupt,” Sirius said, entering the room with a cup of tea. “Harry is quite right. While I could erase your memory I’d rather not. I figured anyone who could write my godson a letter like the one you sent would hardly be interested in betraying him to the dark lord. Am I wrong?”

           Draco was silent for a moment and then he slowly shook his head.

           Sirius smiled and handed Draco his cup of tea. “You two take all the time you need and I’ll keep the others away from you. I figured you two might enjoy a little time together away from school. I know Remus and I always did. Just do me a favor and cast a few silencing charms if you’re going to get up to anything naughty.” Sirius shot them a wink and left, closing the door behind him, leaving the two boys with their cheeks turned pink.

           Draco put his cup of tea down and looked at Harry. “Is he always like that?”

           Harry laughed. “Kind of, yeah. If anyone has an excuse to be a bit off, I’d say it was Sirius.”

           “So he and Professor Lupin were…uh…”

           “Still are,” Harry said, chuckling softly. “Reconnected a bit since they’ve been living here together. I try not to ask for too many details.”

           “Do Granger and Weasley know about us?”

           “Well if they didn’t I’m sure they’ve figured it out,” Harry said, sighing. “Is that okay?”

           Draco groaned and stared up at the ceiling. “Fuck, they’re going to hate me.”

           Harry grinned and walked over, gently grabbing Draco by the chin and forcing Draco to look at him. “They’ll come around because they’re my friends,” he said softly. “You’ve already gotten my godfather’s blessing.”

           Draco leaned forward and kissed Harry very tenderly on the lips. “I worried when I didn’t receive a response to my letter. I thought perhaps –“

           “Bit difficult to find time alone to compose love letters with a full house,” Harry said, giving Draco a proper kiss. “I’m glad you’re here though. I missed you too.”

           Draco smiled and ducked his head down. “I’ll have to return to the Manor by dinner time.”

           “Then let’s make the most of our time together,” Harry said, pressing a kiss to Draco’s forehead. “And you can finish telling me all the reasons you like me. There weren’t nearly enough in your letter.”

           “As if your head needs to get any bigger, Harry,” Draco teased, lifting his face up to press his lips against Harry’s once again.

           “I’ll tell you a few more of mine as well,” Harry offered, sliding his arms around Draco.

           “For Salazar’s sake, Harry, you’ll have me composing sonnets before long,” Draco said, burying his face in Harry’s neck and nuzzling him affectionately.

           “I’d prefer it to those pictures you used to draw of me,” Harry quipped, kissing along Draco’s hairline.

           “I put a lot of effort into those!”

           Harry snorted. “Such a git.”

           Draco huffed out a laugh. “You like me anyway.”

           “I do,” Harry said, closing his eyes and enjoying the comfortable warmth of Draco pressed against him. “I really do.”

[babybadger]

I hate how footballers like Walker are never held accountable for ruining their families, his kids are gonna grow up and see these stories and see how their mum was treated like shit by their own dad like is he that stupid or just ridiculously selfish?🤷🏻‍♀️

this this thissssss! I thank god that his kids are still young and hopefully don’t fully comprehend or remember how their mum is feeling because that will stay with them forever. I understand that the media need to back off a bit like theyre obviously going through some personal and family issues so it must feel awful to have them highlighted in the media but for all we know from the media, he is causing the family issues and the media attention then crying that he has family issues and media attention. It really is just selfish at this point like fuck me if he’s allowed to leave his house cause of bad mental health can all the people with actual mental health illnesses just leave the house too? like wtffff. selfish tosser

[patricianandclerk]

Do the demons have any sort of ‘why doesn’t he want to be around us’ like Gabriel with Aziraphale?

I think so, yes, but it’s slightly different  because of what demons are and why they’re like that. All the angels are together because Heaven was made that way. Beautiful, shining, altogether.

But the demons?

A really interesting line that Hastur says to Crowley is this one: 

The final combat. It’s what we have been working towards since we rebelled. We are the fallen. Never forget that.

Heaven are... Let’s say they’re a family. You don’t choose family. You have your family, and you’re meant to love them, and that’s that. But the demons didn’t just... happen to exist together.

From Hastur’s perspective, they chose a side. They chose to revolt, and become an army together. We, he says. We have been working together; We are the fallen. We. Not a forced collective. Not a collective that occurred by happenstance. A collective unified by a central goal, a collective that banded together because they wanted what any revolution wants - freedom.

Except Crowley.

Crowley didn’t mean to Fall. Crowley didn’t mean to rebel.

He just got caught up in the crowd, and ended up going with them. 

And so I do think the demons are just... confused by Crowley. The thing is, Crowley, like Aziraphale, is kind of playing from the wrong script. He’s enthusiastic and jazzy, he’s excited about his work, he does things en masse, and he gives fucking PowerPoint presentations with a projector and is like WAHOO! 

You know who Crowley’s like? He’s like Gabriel. 

They know that Lucifer loves Crowley. They know that management in general think Crowley’s hot stuff. But they don’t get it, and moreover, they don’t get Crowley - they meet up with him to talk, and Crowley just... shows no enthusiasm for the way they talk, and makes no effort to.

And demons aren’t allowed to be hurt by stuff like that, so they just brush it off as Crowley being a tosser.

And then... Crowley fucking murders a guy. And it’s completely unexpected, because even demons don’t do that. Why? Because they were all in a revolution together! 

I think there’s a constant feel that Crowley like... isn’t really one of them, and doesn’t want to be one of them, and the demons are kinda like... Hurt about it, bitter about it, whatever you want to call it, but they’re also like, egh, whatever, because he’s a demon, demons are supposed to be selfish... And then Crowley goes absolutely batshit off the rails, and kills his brother-in-arms forever, in a really violent way, for like...

Why?

Because he’s schtupping some fucking angel. 

So yeah, I definitely think it’s a little less like... layered? Less complicated/conflicted, maybe? But there’s still that feeling of rejection from Crowley and small attempts to make it up. 

[batgirl-87]

Summary:  Pillow Fight! Goblin Rebellions! Mistletoe! Brotherly Bonding!

A shocking realization changes everything for Charlie. A study session for exams before the winter holiday break doesn’t help when he and Keira end up falling asleep and wake up in a somewhat compromising position – with an audience!

Word Count: ~14k

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: Mention of Bill graduating and leaving *sobs*; Bill as a “sexual being” – attempts having “the talk” with his little brother – Brotherly burns =p; Bill also bringing some harsh reality; Mention of Percy’s stupid rat -_-

Note: Honestly, it was originally supposed to be a fluff piece; however, I think it may have become more about the brotherly love between the Weasleys – at least those are my favorite parts of this fic. So come for the fluff but stay for the love between the Weasley siblings and Bill as a self-proclaimed ladies’ man! (I’m sorry for you if you don’t at least chuckle at the moments between the Weasleys or the Dickens reference. Or appreciate my other references =p)

Takes place during December, Year Five. Referenced in Under the Stars and Nightmare Solace ; References to Not Today– the beginning is literally copied and pasted from Under the Stars so if you’ve already read it you can skip over it =p (it’s italicized).

Soundtrack Suggestion: Can’t Fight This Feeling Anymore – REO Speedwagon; Friends – Ed Sheeran; Falling in Love (With My Best Friend) – Matt White; I Think I Love You – The Partridge Family

Preview: She had managed to lure him into a false sense of security and got him to drop his defenses. Any sense of ease quickly vanished and morphed into hot jitters spreading throughout his body. His whole body tensed up in alertness. His eyes widened as once again he felt heat rushing to his face. In one swift move she caught him off-guard and halted all functioning. What was he saying? What were words? He couldn’t even think coherently. 

It had hit him harder than any bludger had but practically knocked the wind out of him all the same. The weird thing was there was nothing particularly special about that day or how it happened. The gang was studying in the library, well in the Study Area to avoid Pince, or avoid an intense standoff between Tonks and Pince, like they normally did, and also as they normally did, they distracted themselves with idle chit-chat and random discussions to avoid actually doing their homework. And because Charlie was there, of course the conversation somehow got turned onto dragons.

“A Hungarian Horntail can breathe fire to fifty feet. Their breath alone can reach extremely high temperatures,” Charlie argue.

“But a Ukrainian Ironbelly’s scales are hard as steel and they’re huge,” Barnaby retorted. “One could probably just sit on a Hungarian Horntail and squash it.”

“Not to sound like Pince but could you two keep it down? You’re distracting me.” Tulip interrupted their dragon debate while hunched over a piece of parchment she was scribbling on vigorously, however it did not look like any homework they had but more like some sort of blue prints, probably for her next grand prank.

The two boys mumbled their apologies. “Do you think I could turn into a dragon,” Tonks asked from next to Tulip. “Never tried it before.”

“Which dragon would you turn into,” Barnaby asked curiously, and a bit excitedly. How cool would it be if she did?

“I don’t know, whichever,” Tonks responded with a shrug.

“Not everyone has a favorite dragon like you two,” Tulip informed the two magical creature obsessed boys sitting across the table from them. That was a harsh reality Charlie had learned at a young age. He used to assume everyone had a favorite dragon, asking everyone he came across what theirs was. He soon learned the sad truth that not everyone had one or even knew that much about dragons, cared as much about them as he did. Still, he couldn’t stop himself from asking people because some people did have a favorite and he felt that said a lot about them. Of course most seemed to say the Hungarian Horntail, possibly because it was the most infamous of the breeds. He actually got kind of annoyed that being most people’s answer. Maybe that’s why he liked discussing it so much with Barnaby because he didn’t share the same favorite breed of dragon.

“Well that’s dumb, they should,” Barnaby said with frown. Charlie chuckled and had to agree before turning his attention to the Slytherin sitting across from him who had been quiet this entire time, focused on reading their Alchemy book.

“What about you, Ady? What’s your favorite dragon,” Charlie asked, for some reason unable to recall if he’s asked her that before. He must have since that was normally his go-to ice breaker but conversation always seemed to flow so easily with her and typically the conversation revolved around the Cursed-Vaults if not school and Quidditch. Maybe he never got the chance to ask her? Or he did but… how could he forget her answer? He did ask everyone he came across practically. Maybe that’s why he couldn’t remember her answer? They all got jumbled together. But how could he forget her answer?

“A Hebridean Black, right,” Barnaby answered with a proud grin before Keira got the chance. The dark haired girl glanced up at him from her book giving him a smirk and a wink to indicate he was correct causing Barnaby to grin more and sit up straighter, proudly, in his chair. Charlie looked between the two Slytherins, well aware of how close they were but part of him couldn’t help be a little envious. But more prominent than that was the fact that she had in fact told them her favorite dragon – and she actually had one that was not a Hungarian Horntail! – and he had forgotten! How could he have forgotten?!

But yet even more impactful was the fact that after Keira agreed to help him buy an alleged dragon egg, which of course turned out to be scam, putting herself in danger for it, for him – something he was clearly still dealing with – they were gifted a dragon scale. A Hebridean Black dragon scale. Which Keira told him, urged him, to keep.

“Why would you give me the scale if it’s your favorite dragon,” Charlie asked, watching her closely. In case he didn’t feel selfish enough making her go on that wild and dangerous goose chase to get himself a dragon egg now he took the one good thing that came out of it from her.

“Because you love dragons,” Keira replied with a shrug, as if it was obvious, before looking up at him from her book with a small smile. It was a simple statement that everyone knew, even those who didn’t even know him, but for some reason when she said it just then it stirred something inside of him. She was selfless, thoughtful; she put him first.

When her eyes, which he liked to describe as the color of the ocean after a storm – that’s when Bill claimed he knew Charlie was completely smitten – met his they pierced right through him shattering the naïve and oblivious bubble he had subconsciously placed himself in and realization washed over him like an ice-cold tidal wave.

He loved dragons, but he also –

“I got to go.” And with that Charlie quickly gathered up his books, swung his bag over his shoulder, and hurried out of the library. He raced straight back to the Gryffindor Dorm and to his older brother and best friend where he then proceeded to pace back and forth in Bill’s room rambling on and on for about an hour about everything he had realized, had been thinking and feeling, trying to make better sense of it all. He was thankful his brother was so patient and understanding during it all.

“Bill!” Charlie flung open the door to his older brother’s dorm room and barged in – not very typical behavior of the second eldest Wealsey which caused Bill and his roommates to suspect that there was some sort of emergency.

“What’s going on, Charlie? Everything okay,” Bill asked from his desk chair. Despite his calm demeanor his body language became instantly alert when his little brother suddenly entered in a dramatic fashion.

“She gave me the scale even though it’s her favorite,” Charlie cried out through his labored breathing after running up all those stairs from the library, his adrenaline pumping with his newfound realization. “I made her go through so much… bullocks! And then the one good thing we get out of it I just selfishly take after she selflessly urged me to because she’s an amazing, thoughtful, brilliant person…Ugh, she must think I’m such a tosser!” Charlie, once again uncharacteristically, flopped down on his older brother’s bed in a fit of despair.

Bill and the couple of his roommates who were present watched the Fifth Year curiously, and with some amusement as it seemed to dawn on all of them what was happening. “Guys, do you mind if I have a moment with my brother? Thanks.” At Bill’s request his roommates gathered up some of their textbooks, probably studying for their own N.E.W.T.s, and left the room to give Bill and Charlie some privacy, closing the door behind them.

“Well you are right about one thing. You are a complete git,” Bill informed his brother with a smirk.

“Hey!” Charlie’s head popped up to give his older brother a glare.

“Well you are,” Bill laughed. “How long have I been telling you you fancy her?”

“How do you know that’s what it is?” Charlie’s question, rather than being a snide remark to his brother’s teasing, was a genuine, sincere question. How did he know what these feelings were and what they meant?

Bill blinked at his brother who was now sitting cross-legged on his bed and staring at him expectantly. He wasn’t prepared for that question! He was expecting more along the lines of what should he do now, not ‘what are these feelings I’m having?’

“Uh well…. You know, when a man fancies someone they can start to have these feelings and urges –“ A pillow smacked directly into his face as Bill began to gesture to his lap during his joking “birds-and-the-bees” speech.

“I don’t need that type of talk,” Charlie informed him. He was sixteen, he was pretty sure he was well aware of all that!

Bill chuckled as he fixed his hair. “Alright, sorry. You just threw me off with that question,” he admitted. “Why don’t you walk me through what happened to bring this all on,” he suggested, motioning to Charlie and his bedroom door as a reference to him rudely barging in just moments before.

Charlie huffed slightly before he began recounting the events that just occurred in the library to his brother.

“Well she’s right, everyone knows you love dragons,” Bill said with a shrug. Charlie groaned and appeared rather frustrated at his brother’s nonchalant attitude about all of this!

“No, you’re missing the point!”

“Then what is the point,” Bill asked, resisting the urge to smirk as he watched his little brother get all worked up over something non-dragon or quidditch related.

“She put me first, she – I should have – she deserves – I –“ Charlie stuttered unintelligently unable to put his feelings into words. He always struggled with expressing himself verbally, he was much better with actions. He groaned loudly and buried his face in his hands as he took a moment to try and gather his thoughts.

“I just want to make her as happy as she made me when she gave that scale.” Charlie spoke quietly after a moment. “A scale of her favorite dragon, after going through so much effort to get it, all for me – that’s what I want to do for her.”

Bill watched his little brother closely. “…Well you are helping her with the Cursed-Vaults and to find her brother.”

“We all are. And I could do more, I should do more.” Charlie let out a defeated groan as he laid back down on Bill’s bed. “You’re right, I am a git.”

Bill chuckled and shook his head. “No, you’re not.”

“But isn’t that what friends do for each other,” Charlie suddenly asked as if he hadn’t heard his brother’s words. “They help each other out, want each other to be happy? How do you know when it goes from friendship to fancying someone?”

“Well, like I started to tell you before, there will be certain urges –“ Bill began again earning himself another whack from a pillow off his bed.

“Bill, come on, I’m serious,” Charlie pleaded, although he couldn’t help chuckling slightly at Bill’s apparent desire to give him a sex talk. Bill laughed himself as he once again had to fix his hair.

“I don’t know how to explain it. You want to be around them and talk to them all the time and when you’re not they’re all you can think about. When you see them you light up and feel kind of nauseas, but it’s like a good kind of sick… And any time anything happens they’re the first person you think of to tell. And like I said, there are urges –“

“What is with you and these urges?!”

“I don’t know, guess I’m a very sexual being,” Bill replied with a shrug and a smirk.

“That’s disgusting, I don’t want to think about my brother that way,” Charlie informed him.

Bill laughed and held up a hand – fair enough! “But it’s true. You want to hold their hand and kiss them and when your skin touches theirs there’s a spark –“

“I feel like this is going to turn into a story about one of your sexual escapades and I don’t want to hear it right now,” Charlie interrupted yet again.

“Especially while you’re sitting on my bed,” Bill retorted with a smirk. Charlie’s eyes widened before he sprung up and off of Bill’s bed.

“Bloody hell, why would you do that to me,” Charlie cried out as Bill laughed to himself. “Ugh, that’s disgusting!” Bill attempted to apologize to his little brother but he was laughing so hard at his reaction as Charlie attempted to brush off the gross-ness off his clothes.

“I’m going to have to burn these now,” Charlie informed his brother. “Mum is not going to like that!”

“I was kidding,” Bill assured.

“Well I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself,” Charlie remarked as he noted his brother’s amused smirk. “But none of this is helping me you know!”

“Well why don’t you tell me how you feel then around Keira,” Bill challenged him, leaning back in his chair as he folded his arms.

“Okay…” Charlie said, trying to sound confident as he accepted his brother’s challenge although he couldn’t hide the uncertainty in his voice. He began to pace back and forth around Bill’s room as he thought for a moment, trying to figure out how to put his feelings into words.

“I guess… it’s sort of like you said,” Charlie admitted as he continued his pacing. “I love talking to her and hanging out with her, and when we’re not I want to be… Some of our friends say I stare at her in class and I guess I do… She’s just… brilliant! She’s a very powerful, skilled witch; she’s smart, and funny, and strong – so strong! I mean she’s going through so much turmoil with the disappearance of her brother… She doesn’t know if he’s okay, what happened to him, in what state she’ll find him in. And she’s facing the challenge of these Cursed-Vaults head on fearlessly, with such determination, and she would do it all on her own if the rest of us didn’t offer to help her.

“Despite everything she’s going through, all that stress, she still finds the time to help everyone else around her, all her friends, Hagrid, Madam Rosmerta, even some Professors! She’s kind and caring and… fiercely protective of those she cares about which I completely understand. Some may find her fiery passion intimidating – which I guess it kind of is – or unappealing but I love that she’s willing to do anything to protect those she cares about. I mean we’d do that too, right,” Charlie asked suddenly, looking at Bill for an answer.

“Uh, yeah, right,” Bill replied, not expecting a Q&A portion of this speech. Honestly, he was so focused on watching Charlie pacing back and forth as he worked out his feelings in complete fascination and awe he didn’t think Charlie remembered he was even there.

His little brother wasn’t one for speeches or a man of many words, normally a quiet observer, but every now and then he surprised them with a moment of deep introspection and clarity – a little peak into the inner workings of Charlie Weasley; his mind wasn’t always on dragons 24/7!

“Right, of course we would!  She has never gotten annoyed with me talking about dragons all the time or relating them to every other subject. She even asks me about them on the rare occasion I’m not talking about them. And she’s very knowledgeable about Quidditch and we’re able to talk about it without fighting like she and Andre do… But isn’t that what friends do? They help each other, and protect each other, and listen to each other ramble on about their interests even if it’s not a shared one because you care about them and their happiness?”

“You know, some say that love is like friendship caught on fire,” Bill informed him.

Charlie paused as he let Bill’s words sink in. He had to admit he liked that saying. “But how do you know when it’s on fire? When you want to be around them all the time and catch yourself thinking about them all the time? When everything you do you wish they were there so they could share that moment with you? When you find any little excuse to talk to them, be near them? When your hands brush against each other there’s a jolt of electricity? And when she looks at you with her beautiful, mesmerizing eyes it’s like they’re piercing your soul and you find yourself drowning in them, your breath gets caught in your throat, but it’s not really drowning, sort of like floating…And everyone around you seems to disappear and all you see is her?

“When you feel this protectiveness over them when others start to get too close to them? Or when you see they’re hurt and upset? When you just want to make them happy, no matter what you have to do or sacrifice? And when they laugh you feel warm inside and – oh… warm… fire…”

Bill smirked rather smugly as he watched deeper realization dawn on his little brother. “So I guess it was like you said,” Charlie said after a moment. “The thinking about them all the time, the spark, lighting up when you see them –“

“The butterflies in the stomach?”

“I call them dragons but sure,” Charlie replied with a small chuckle but he was clearly still trying to process this new experience for himself. Bill chuckled slightly himself. Of course he called them dragons.

“So… now what are you going to do,” Bill asked curiously.

“I don’t know. This is all… a lot to process. This is all new territory,” Charlie admitted, actually looking rather nervous as he ran a hand through his hair.

“Hey, it’s okay. You’re not the first bloke to feel this way and you won’t be the last,” Bill assured him, standing up from his desk chair and walking over to his brother to drape a supportive and comforting arm over his shoulders. “It’ll be okay. You have time to figure out your feelings. I don’t think anyone knows how to perfectly navigate relationships and love though.”

“Thanks, Bill.” Charlie smiled up at his brother, appreciative of his brotherly support.

“I think what you should do for tonight is sit with these feelings and get some sleep,” Bill advised.

“Yeah, I think that’s a good idea,” Charlie agreed with a nod of his head.

“And if anything does transpire from this, which I believe it will, I think we should have that talk about shagging –“ Bill started.

“I know about safe sex and how babies are made, Bill, thanks,” Charlie informed him, rolling his eyes.

“I’m not talking about the super awkward talk we got from mum and dad. I’m talking about more important and fun stuff,” Bill informed him with a devilish smirk.

“I don’t think I want to hear this right now,” Charlie said as he started to move away from his brother and towards the door.

“But there’s so much we have to go over! There’s positions and dirty talk and – have you had your first kiss yet? Oh, bollocks, we’re going to have to start at the basics of snogging.”

“Nope. No thank you. Not happening.” Charlie attempted to shrug off his brother’s arm as he headed for the door but Bill kept a firm hold on him as he continued to taunt his poor little brother. “Sod off!” Charlie shoved his brother off of him as he finally reached the door, much to Bill’s amusement. Playing quidditch really helped him deal with his brothers.

“Hey, I’m trying to teach you how to please a woman,” Bill informed him.

“The only woman who’s pleased with anything you do is mum,” Charlie retorted.

Charlie went to bed that night unable to sleep. He just kept staring at the dragon scale on his nightstand, thinking about her and everything he had been feeling that had just been made aware to him.

The next day, besides going down to the Great Hall for breakfast, Charlie kept to himself in his room. He was still processing this new revelation and to properly do so he couldn’t be around a bunch of people, even his friends – they were all too distracting. They were supposed to continue their studies for their exams before the Winter Holiday Break started but they could manage just fine without him for one study session.

Both Ben and Bill checked on him throughout the day, his roommate more than his brother since Bill was busy studying for his N.E.W.T.s. Plus, Ben had the excuse of sharing a room with Charlie to see how he was doing.

Ben had no idea what was going on with Charlie, unlike Bill, but he could tell something was up with his roommate. He had been laying on his bed staring up at the ceiling for most of the day. There were a couple open textbooks abandoned on the bed around him. He tried to do some studying but he couldn’t manage to focus. Charlie was not acting like his normal, friendly, adventurous self. Sure, he would respond in a friendly manner if Ben or one of his other roommates talked to him but it was clear he did not want to engage in any conversation. And sure, it was winter, but Charlie wasn’t outside or even out in the Common Room looking out the window. He wasn’t even looking out the window in their room! He was being very quiet and introspective. Whatever was on his mind clearly required a lot of deep thought and concentration. He was only ever this intensely focused on something when he was reading about dragons!

Despite his unawareness of what was going on in his roommate’s head, Ben wanted to make sure he was there for Charlie if needed and let Charlie know that. From the very first day at Hogwarts Charlie had helped Ben out immensely. He was always available to talk to, even in the middle of the night! He was reassuring, which helped calm Ben down, and he was encouraging to help Ben face his fears. Charlie, as he did with all his roommates and brother, assured him he was fine. Just had a lot on his mind. But he appreciated their concern.

The Gryffindor dorm room began to grow darker as the sun started to set outside. The day seemed to just fly by – well, it was the winter, which meant shorter days, longer nights… Charlie was still lost in his thoughts, laying on his bed as he stared up at the ceiling, hands behind his head. If he really did feel this way about her – if he really did; he was still trying to convince himself to stay in denial despite the awakening of his feelings from yesterday. Now that he knew he felt this way, what did this mean for his relationship with her?

Bill’s advice was to be honest and tell her. He was convinced she felt the same way and this would be the beginning of a beautiful relationship for them. Charlie, however, wasn’t convinced. How did Bill know she felt the same way? Did she talk to him about her feelings? No? Well then how did he know!? He didn’t! It was all pure speculation!

Did he hope she felt the same way? Of course! And he would try to look for some sort of sign that she did but he had no idea what to look for unless she blatantly just told him! Bill tried to give him advice on this subject as well, apparently an expert on not only how to please a woman and how to know if you fancy someone but also on how to know if someone fancies you! He appreciated the help but Charlie honestly felt his advice was rubbish.

‘She’ll find excuses to touch you’ – Ady didn’t really like touching people in general. Any physical contact was kind of a big deal and she had just started hugging her friends last year.

‘She’ll banter with you, tease you’ – That was how she showed affection to all her friends! Even Merula lately!

‘She’ll always laugh at your jokes, even if their rubbish’ – Well his jokes were funny, unlike Bill’s, so that didn’t help.

‘She’ll do the same things you do. Seek you out, want to be near you, find excuses to hang out with you’ – Well finding him to help with the Forest Vault wasn’t really about her feelings for him, it was about finding her brother and who knew the Forbidden Forest best, besides him? Besides that… They did hang out a lot, ate together in the Great Hall, took trips to Hogsmeade, studied together… But she did all that with her other friends too, sometimes with him in a group. And when they did hang out alone together it was normally because he sought her out and made an excuse to spend time with her.

‘You guys have a close connection. You trusted her to try and get you an illegal dragon egg, she is comfortable enough to open up to you and be vulnerable’ – Okay, Bill had a good point with that one. Besides Bill, she was the one person he trusted most. For illegal dragon egg smuggling or anything else! And although Bill did not know the details, when he asked Charlie about what happened between them a few weeks back when Ady bestowed to Charlie a belated birthday/early Christmas/but also thank you gift of a dragon statuette (and Draconifors spell lessons) in the Gryffindor Common Room while Bill, himself, was having a bit of a breakdown over his N.E.W.T.s, Charlie admitted to his older brother that during Ady’s very bad day she had where she stormed out of the library, he had found her later and spent most of the night comforting her since she was really struggling that day, clearly, and it finally was taking its toll on her.

Bill didn’t ask for details, nor did he need them. He was proud of his brother for doing such a noble and chivalrous thing. He was even more impressed that Keira felt comfortable enough having someone see her struggle, admit to them she was struggling, and accept their help. She always tried to appear strong and valued her independency – she could handle her situation and everything else thrown at her. So for her to have that moment with Charlie meant something. It at least definitely evolved their relationship to a much closer one.

That level of closeness and trust had to mean something right? Bill was absolutely convinced they had feelings for one another. They just needed to get out of their heads, get over themselves, and admit it. And snog already. And listen to his snogging and sex tips!

While Bill may have pointed out a couple good points, Charlie didn’t want to risk ruining their friendship and losing the great relationship they had now. Telling her could definitely make things awkward. He was just going to have to keep acting normal around her, like nothing had changed. And keep his eye out for a sign or a moment that now – now was the time to tell her how he felt.

“Charlie?”

Charlie turned his head when he heard his name called. He had been so lost in his thoughts he didn’t even notice how dark his bedroom had gotten. With the sun setting earlier these days and with his roommates being gone, no lamps or candles were lit. The only light shone in from the open door. The backlighting cast a particularly hazy, almost dreamlike feel against the figure in the doorway, causing Charlie to stare at it as if he wasn’t sure if they were really there.

“Charlie? Are you okay?” The concern in her voice caused a warm, weightless feeling to spread throughout him as he felt the dragons in his stomach begin to take flight. Bollocks, he hated when Bill was right.

“Uh, y-yeah, I’m fine.” Charlie suddenly sat upright on his bed, realizing that it must look like he was on his deathbed. Besides, he was supposed to be acting like nothing had changed and laying there in the dark staring at her was not normal behavior!

Keira frowned as she watched the Gryffindor stand up off his bed, light his bedside lamp so there was some light, and run a hand through his hair as he tried to fix it, assuming it got a little messed up from laying on it for – wait, what time was it?

“When you missed dinner I started to worry,” she explained as she hesitantly entered his bedroom. She wasn’t invited in technically but he was acting a little off.

“I missed dinner?” How long had he been laying there?

“Yeah…” She paused in front of him as she studied him closely. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just…” Charlie frowned slightly and glanced around briefly before spying one of his textbooks on his bed. “I was just doing some studying.”

“In the dark?”

Bloody hell, she got him there!

“Uh…” Crikey, what excuse could he give that would be plausible? “Well I was studying, but then I…got tired so I was going to take a nap…”

Keira’s hand suddenly flew up and Charlie froze for a moment with wide eyes in shock as the back of her hand rested on his forehead. “Um… What uh… What are you doing,” he gulped as he felt his face begin to heat up.

“I’m checking to see if you have a fever,” Keira replied like it was obvious. “Hm… you do feel a little warm.” Her hand slid down to rest along the side of his face as she continued to test his temperature. “Yeah. Maybe we should go to Madam Pomfrey to make sure –“

“No. Really, I’m fine,” Charlie assured. “You don’t need to worry.”

Keira frowned as she dropped her hand from his face. “Are you sure? You’ve been holed up in your room all day.”

“I’ve just been studying –“

“You could have studied with us,” she pointed out.

“I just needed to be alone, to focus without any distractions,” he admitted. His honesty, finally, seemed to ease her concern a bit.

“Okay… Does that mean our plans are cancelled?” Charlie blinked at her quizzically. “…Our plans… to study History of Magic together,” she reminded him.

“Oh! Oh right,” Charlie chuckled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. How could he forget? “And here I thought you came up here because you missed me,” he half joked, half admitted out loud.

“I was worried about you,” she corrected, and admitted herself.

Great, was this going to happen every time he was around her? Heart thumping against his chest, heat rushing to his face, dragon wings fluttering in his stomach?

Oh, Merlin, he wasn’t sure if he could act like nothing had changed. Because it had changed.

“I completely understand if you don’t want to study together tonight and you’d rather study alone – no distractions,” she continued.

“No!” He didn’t mean to shout and sound so desperate, and the look on her face clearly said the same thing for her. “No,” he said again, softer and calmer this time. “I need you.”

Keira’s eyes widened more at his declaration and a small smirk played on her lips. Oh really? Oh the teasing she could do right now… Especially when she saw the look of horrified realization on Charlie’s face when he recognized what he said and how it sounded.

“I-I mean I need you to help me study. For History,” he clarified. “You’re good at it. You have a knack for remembering events and recounting them so we understand them and stay interested to listen.”

“Well I’m nowhere near as good as Rowan but I do like History,” Keira admitted with a small smile, flattered at his compliment. She did like history in general and learned most of it by reading on her own time or when Rowan taught in class. Rowan had a true talent for teaching. Keira… not so much. She lacked the talent to explain things well, at least in her opinion. But history wasn’t really explaining, it was just retelling a story which she could do, enjoyed doing even. Her knowledge and interest in history is why she and Charlie decided to study together for the exam. That and to give Rowan a break. She had to study for her own exams! And once she got teaching she wouldn’t stop!

“I doubt I’ll be able to do well on the exam without you,” Charlie admitted with a warm smile. He and Barnaby, and probably most of their group of friends, tended to borrow her notes for the class or else they would have no idea what was going on. Rowan obviously wasn’t the Professor consistently and her notes were a mess, making them incredibly difficult to follow or even read. Even Rowan herself found difficulty understanding her own notes!

“Okay,” Keira conceded. “But if at any time you feel like I’m being a distraction and hindering your studying you let me know,” she joked, slightly. “So grab your books and let’s go,” she told him, turning to head out of his bedroom. “I brought some study snacks with me, especially since I figured you’d be hungry having missed dinner. They’re down in the Common Room. Bill’s guarding them but I don’t know how well he can fend off hungry students all on his own.”

Charlie smiled to himself as he listened to her. Aw, she brought him food because he missed dinner. He couldn’t believe he missed dinner! “Yeah, I’ll be right down,” he assured, giving her one more smile before she disappeared out of his room.

Okay, he just had to focus on studying for History of Magic. Arguably, the most boring subject at Hogwarts. Primarily because of the Professor but compared to classes like Defense Against the Dark Arts or Care of Magical Creatures it was rather boring. He, and most others, besides probably Rowan and Keira, couldn’t wait until this year was over so they wouldn’t have to take the course anymore.

So studying for an exam in a boring subject should be boring and uneventful which meant he shouldn’t make a fool of himself any more than he already had.

“You know, the Giant Wars are actually interesting when Professor Binns isn’t droning about them,” Charlie admitted.

The couple sat on the comfy couches in front of the fire in the Gryffindor Common Room. An assortment of snacks from Honeydukes and the kitchens laid out across the table along with their notes, although Keira’s were the only ones used since Charlie’s all had doodles of dragons on them. Bill managed to keep their study snacks safe until they came down, using his Prefect and Head Boy authority to scare away scavenging Gryffindor students. He may have also given Charlie a suggestive smirk when he came down to join Keira for their study session, causing his little brother to roll his eyes. They were just studying for an exam, sod off!

“Do you think we need to go over the Goblin Rebellions,” Keira asked as her eyes remained fixed on the textbook in her lap, curled up in one corner of the couch.

“Yeah, probably should just to be safe,” Charlie replied as he reached over to grab a piece of fudge from their snack table. He was very appreciative for all the food she brought. He was a lot hungrier than he thought! Of course he missed dinner, but he didn’t even realize he had since he didn’t even feel hungry. But as soon as he got down to the Common Room and saw all the study snacks she brought for them his stomach started grumbling so loud he was afraid everyone in the Gryffindor Tower could hear it.

“I don’t think I’m ever going to remember all the names of the Goblin rebels,” Keira admitted as she flipped through her textbook to get to the proper chapter.

“Well if you can’t then there’s no hope for me,” Charlie joked, grabbing another piece of fudge. He was starving!

“That’s not true,” Keira replied. “You need to give yourself more credit. You’re not just an unlimited source of dragon knowledge,” she joked, throwing him a quick smirk before resuming her focus on her text. “You’re smart. And a very gifted wizard.”

Charlie paused from shoveling food in his mouth to look over at her as her words hit him. She joked around a lot and enjoyed teasing her friends but every now and then she would suddenly blindside them with a thoughtful, sincere compliment. It always left him a little winded.  

Keira appeared oblivious to the Gryffindor’s staring, snacking on a bag of Glacial Snow Flakes that shared her lap with her textbook. As she continued to study, Charlie couldn’t help but admire the way the glow of the flames danced across her face, highlighting her features. He suddenly became aware how late it had gotten and how they were now the only two left in the Common Room.

“Okay, I’m tired of reading,” Keira declared, sitting up to place her bag of Glacial Snow Flakes on the table and shove the book at Charlie indicating it was his turn to read out loud as she had just done with the Giant Wars, promptly knocking Charlie out of his daze.

Charlie fumbled a bit with the textbook as she thrusted it upon him, earning a chuckle from the Slytherin. “Wow, some great Seeker skills there,” she teased as she readjusted her position to sit next to him and lean across to the snack table he was hogging their entire study session.

“My skills are on holiday,” Charlie informed her, chuckling himself at her ribbing. He couldn’t remember enjoying studying this much ever before in his life. It didn’t even feel like studying! It just felt like two people laughing and enjoying spending time with each other. With good food. And the relaxing – some might say romantic – ambiance of the crackling fire. He smiled to himself as he watched her study the snack table. They should really do this more often…

“I see,” Keira replied before popping a piece of toffee in her mouth and motioning for him to read.

Charlie glanced down at the textbook and made a slightly sulking expression. Ugh, mood killer. “…Maybe we should take a break,” he suggested, hoping he could somehow get out of having to read about the most boring class in all of the Wizarding World!

“Oh no! No, no, no, no. You don’t get to just sit here while I do all the work – all the reading, all the quizzing, all the note taking and highlighting – and stuff your face full of food.”

“But I missed dinner,” Charlie reminded her as pitifully as he could.

Keira narrowed her eyes at the red head as she did her best to fight off a smile. No, she could not show she was amused by this behavior! “Do not Oliver Twist me.”

Charlie couldn’t help laughing at her reference, unable to maintain his sad, pitiful act. “Alright, alright. I’ll read.”

“Thank you.” Now that she was appeased, Keira resumed her turn at snacking while Charlie began to read about the Goblin Rebellions.

“In 1612, one rebellion took place in Hogsmeade Village. The Three Broomsticks served as the wizard headquart-“ Charlie paused in his reading as Keira held up the empty plate which once held several pieces of fudge with quite the displeased and incredulous look. Really?!

Charlie smiled sheepishly at her before holding the textbook up to cover his face, and therefore his view of the empty plate. “Headquarters,” he continued reading, now at a higher volume. “The cause for this particu-“

“Charles,” Keira scolded in an attempt to get his attention.

“Ady, please, I’m studying for our History exam,” Charlie replied before continuing, again speaking louder in an attempt to drown her out. “The cause for this particular rebellion was –“

“Charles!”

“MOST LIKELY DUE TO THE LACK –“

“YOU ATE ALL THE FUDGE!”

“THE LACK OF GOBLIN REPRESENTATION –“

“I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME!”

The two continued to raise their voices in an attempt to be heard over the other before a brief wrestling match over the textbook occurred as Keira reached over to yank the book away from his face. She could hear the smirk in his voice as he read from the book and continued to talk over her. He was being such a pain!

“You said you wanted me to read,” Charlies reminded her as he held on tightly to the textbook.

“I never said eat all the fudge,” Keira retorted as she continued to try and pry the book away from his face. She was trying to have a conversation with him – well, she was trying to scold him and he needed to hear it!

“How do you know I ate all the fudge?” Charlie attempted to defend himself, smirking more as he continued to playfully argue and fight with her.

“Who else ate all the fudge? Because I know I didn’t get any,” Keira informed him.

Charlie paused a moment before a huge smirk spread across his freckled face. “Percy’s rat.” Yep, he was pretty proud of himself for that answer.

Keira stared at him, clearly unamused. “Percy’s rat,” she repeated, causing Charlie to nod his head to confirm. “I may not like Percy’s rat, but you cannot blame all the fudge being gone on it when you ate it all!” Keira sneakily grabbed a pillow from behind her on the couch and suddenly began to hit Charlie with it for emphasis as she finished her proclamation.

This action caused Charlie to relinquish the book so he could protect himself from her vicious attack, holding up his arms to block her angry strikes. Keira continued to beat him with a pillow, clearly getting out some pent of frustration – He had no idea she wanted some fudge so badly! Charlie fell sideways onto the couch and it almost looked like he was trying to curl up into a ball. “Okay, okay, you win!”

Keira ended her brutal pummeling and Charlie sat back up, both now in fits of laughter over the antics that ensued. “Merlin, you truly are a fierce Beater,” Charlie informed her as he rubbed his arm that took most of the beating.

“I can’t believe you ate all the fudge,” Keira declared again, hitting him once more with the pillow.

“Hey! I said you win! And I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to eat all the fudge. I’ll… I’ll get you some of my mum’s fudge,” Charlie offered.

Keira thought over his offer briefly before nodding her head. “That should be acceptable. Your mom’s fudge is probably better anyway.” Charlie had to agree with that statement. His mum made the best fudge. “Okay, you may resume reading,” she informed him, passing the book back to him she managed to wrangle out of his hands with the aid of her trusty pillow.

Charlie chuckled as he took the book back from her. “As you wish.” Keira smirked at him and grabbed a few more snacks from the table, which were clearly not fudge, before settling herself in comfortably on the couch next to him. Charlie smiled to himself as he glanced down at the girl securely nestled next to him before he found his place and resumed reading, this time in a much more appropriate volume. “In 1752, another Goblin Rebellion occurred in Great Britain, causing two Ministers of Magic to resign. Albert Boot resigned because…” Since he had taken over the reading responsibility he also took over the quizzing responsibility. He trailed off and looked over at the snacking Slytherin for an answer.

“Because he doesn’t know how to manage a rebellion where I feel I would exceed,” Keira replied with a smirk.

Charlie chuckled and shook his head. “I don’t doubt that. And his replacement, Basil Flack only lasted…”

“Three months?”

“Close! Two months. Resigning when the Goblins allied themselves with…”

“The werewolves!”

“Wand legislation contributed to the Goblin Rebellions of the 18th century,” Charlie continued to read with a yawn, his tone growing more tired the longer he read and the later it got. “Even when I read about history I end up droning on about it after some time,” he joked, glancing over at his study partner, surprised to see she had fallen asleep.

Keira was sleeping peacefully against the Gryffindor, her head using his shoulder as a pillow. How he had not noticed before was a complete mystery. He never expected to become so focused on reading about the Goblin Rebellions he wouldn’t notice the sleeping Slytherin using him as a pillow. Hopefully that meant some of what he read would stick in his brain and help him pass this exam.

Now he had a dilemma.

Did he wake her up so she could go back to her Dorm? But she looked so peaceful. He couldn’t disturb her.

Suppose he could just gently lay her down on the couch and let her sleep there… But it would probably be awkward for her to wake up in the Gryffindor Common Room with a bunch of people staring at her.

Maybe he should just bring her up to his room and – Charlie’s face instantly heated up at that option. Maybe not…

Maybe he could carry her down to her Dorm? But that was a long ways and once he got there he wouldn’t be able to get in anyway and would have to wake her up for the password so…

There was the possibility that she was just dozing and would wake up on her own. Charlie decided to continue reading to at least finish the current chapter. It should provide him a better chance at passing the exam and maybe hearing him as he continued to read out loud would cause her to wake up. Although, it’s also likely he put her to sleep like Professor Binns did to most of his students so maybe it would have the adverse effect and cause her to fall into a deeper sleep…

Still, it was a risk he was willing to take! Plus it gave him more time to figure out what to do about the sleeping girl next to him.

Charlie carefully reached behind them with his free arm, the one not currently being used as a pillow, and grabbed the blanket that was draped across the back of the couch to cover the sleeping Slytherin. As he carefully tucked her in, an intoxicating scent swirled around him, enveloping him in a warm comforting yet sweetly seductive aroma. He wasn’t sure if it was her shampoo or perfume or just her natural scent but it was absolutely alluring. Charlie closed his eyes as he took in her dark sweet scent, perfectly her, allowing it to consume him for a moment before shaking his head and forcing himself to refocus on the history text. Ugh, he could hear Bill talking about urges again…

He cleared his throat, trying to clear his head from whatever spell she unknowingly put him under, before he resumed his reading. “Uh… Urg the Unclean – what is with these names – was a Goblin activist who led the 18th Century Goblin Rebellions, one of the bloodiest in history.” At this rate he was going to put himself to sleep.

As he predicted, Charlie was unable to finish the chapter, putting himself to sleep much like Professor Binns did in class. Not much longer after finding his study partner asleep, Charlie dozed off, the textbook sliding off his lap and onto the floor. The fireplace embers dimmed, leaving the couple to sleep soundly in the still, quiet darkness.

Bill had gotten used to waking up early, having to wake up earlier and earlier the more children his parents had to be able to get enough time in the bathroom. His hair required a lot of care and attention! Plus he wanted to help his mum with breakfast and getting the rest of his siblings up and ready. Being an early riser also helped him with his Prefect and Head Boy responsibilities, he felt at least. He was one of the first in the Gryffindor House to rise which allowed him to ensure everything went smoothly for the students from when they woke up to when they went to bed, rarely missing a thing.

Through his many years at Hogwarts, and as his few years as Prefect, Bill had witnessed a lot of things at the school and in his own House. He had found couples snogging, students attempting to pull off pranks, attempting to sneak out or back in after curfew, dueling, physically fighting, attempting to transfigure themselves, cheating on their homework….Sometimes he came into the Common Room to find some students still up from studying the night before, pulling an all-nighter for exams, or some who had fallen asleep from failing an all-nighter. And sure, he had caught his own brother committing some felonies, primarily sneaking out and back in after curfew for his Forbidden Forest explorations, some of which Bill accompanied him on, but never did he ever expect to catch his little brother in a compromising position such as this.

Bill hummed to himself as he entered the Common Room. It was still relatively early in the morning so there were only a handful of students actually up at this hour. As a few headed out to go down to breakfast, their whispers and giggles piqued Bill’s curiosity. That’s when his eyes landed on the sleeping couple on the couch.

Aw, weren’t they cute. It was much better than discovering a couple snogging or worse.

As Bill stepped closer to gently wake them up he realized one member of the sleeping couple was none other than his own brother! He blinked a few times as if his eyes were playing tricks on him. Nope, that was definitely Charlie. Never did he ever expect to find Charlie with a girl…ever.

After the initial shock wore off a devilish smirk spread across the eldest Weasley’s face. Oh. This was perfect blackmail.

Bill suddenly turned and bounded back up the stairs to his Dorm Room. As he rummaged through his things to find a camera – did Charlie or Percy have it last? He didn’t have time to find Penny for hers - more students woke up and got ready to head down for breakfast. Which meant more students discovered the sleeping couple on the couch and snickered to themselves as they left the Common Room to head down to the Great Hall. Word always travelled fast in this school.

Bill managed to locate the camera and hurried back to the Common Room to snap a picture of the sleeping couple. Oh yes, this was perfect. He could definitely use this as blackmail. ‘How do you think mum would react if I sent this to her?’ Hey, he was an older brother first, Prefect and Head Boy second!

The sleeping couple had shifted a bit throughout the night. Keira’s head was now resting on the Gryffindor’s chest, with Charlie’s arms snuggly, almost protectively, wrapped around her to hold her securely to him. The two looked quite content and peaceful with their synced steady breathing, blissfully unaware to the world around them.

However, Charlie, being one of seven with some mischievous siblings, felt a disturbance in the force causing him to stir. He slowly opened his eyes and shifted slightly, surprised to feel a weight on top of him. When he looked down and found the Slytherin using him as her own personal pillow, the events of last began to return to him. They must have fallen asleep while studying. Which was why he was on a couch and not in his own bed. Despite that little blunder, he hoped they were still able to pass the exam. Well, she would be fine, so he hoped he studied enough to pass the exam.

Although… When he looked down and saw the serene Slytherin sleeping (on top of him but that didn’t add to this picture, did it?) looking content and, frankly, quite lovely he suddenly didn’t care if he passed his exam or not. He absentmindedly began rubbing her back soothingly as he enjoyed this little moment between them, continuing to watch her sleep and tempted to go back to sleep himself; however he wouldn’t want to leave them unsupervised in the Common Room. Especially her who was a member of their rival House. It would be different if they had some privacy.

Possibly from feeling him stir beneath her, or from sensing someone’s eyes on her, Keira began to stir herself and slowly opened her eyes, wincing slightly at the light streaming in through the windows of the Gryffindor Tower. It was much brighter in here than the dimly lit Slytherin Dorm which some might even call “mood lighting.” Regardless, her light sensitive self preferred the darker Dungeons.

Her frown turned more quizzical the more she woke up and became more aware that she was laying on someone; someone who was warm and giving her a nice relaxing backrub so she couldn’t really complain about the bright light when she got to wake up like this. The familiar sweet, almost fruity, earthy scent that always provided her with such comfort and bliss told her exactly who it was.

Keira shifted to look up at the sleepy red head with a smile. “Hi,” she greeted softly.

Charlie returned her smile with a lazy one of his own. “Hi,” he replied back, his husky, sleep filled voice quite attractive.

“These are going to be brilliant.”

The smug statement caused the two to realize they were not alone and look over at the Gryffindor Head Boy who was not acting very much like his role. Instead he was smirking down at the camera in held in his hand.

“Bill!” At first Charlie was mortified to see his brother there, finding him and Ady sleeping, cuddled together on the couch. Especially after his admission to his older brother about his true feelings for the Slytherin. And then, when his eyes landed on the camera in his brother’s hand, his embarrassment grew and some anger stirred inside of him.

“Will!” Keira’s tone was a much more joking scolding towards the freakishly tall Gryffindor. She clearly had a better sense of humor about this than Charlie, possibly because it wasn’t her brother who would absolutely use those pictures for blackmail, or because she didn’t just confide her deep, repressed feelings to him.

Bill casually glanced up and smirked at the couple. “Well good morning you two. I was wondering how long it would take for you to notice me.”

“We must have fallen asleep while studying,” Keira said as she sat up, untangling herself from Charlie before reaching down to pick up the discarded textbook. She ran a hand through her hair, although it was unnecessary since her hair looked just fine. She could just roll out of bed and go to class without doing any grooming!

“Yeah,” Charlie agreed quietly, frowning to himself as she moved away from him, the naturally warm Weasley suddenly feeling cold from her absence. Way to go Bill, ruin a nice moment between them! Made it all awkward. Or… maybe it would be awkward regardless of Bill’s presence. Maybe she was embarrassed falling asleep and waking up like that... Maybe he got too carried away with his own feelings of waking up with her that he made things awkward between them! How could he have let them fall asleep like that! He should have woken her up last night or something instead of allowing this to happen! Now Bill had evidence… She was never going to speak to him again!

“Oh no!” The sudden cry caused the three to look back towards the stairs to the Dorm Rooms where the third oldest Weasley stood. “You’re the ones everyone is talking about? Of course. The couple sleeping in the Common Room has to be my brother,” Percy grumbled as he approached them.

“Jealous, Perce,” Bill teased, earning himself a scowl from his little brother.

“I’m surprised it’s Charlie and not you,” Percy retorted.

“Nah, I’d bring a lady back to my room. More private,” Bill informed him with a wink.

Percy looked horrified and a little ill at his older brother’s statement. He did not want to think about his brother doing that! “Regardless of which one of you it was, why do you insist on embarrassing me?”

“It’s an older sibling’s job to embarrass their younger siblings,” Bill informed him. “Speaking of which,” he said with a sinister smirk, turning his attention back to his other younger brother. “What do you think mum will say when she sees these,” he asked, holding up the camera.

Charlie’s eyes widened in horror as he stared at the camera in his brother’s hand. “You wouldn’t dare!”

“Oh, wouldn’t I?”

“Bill,” Charlie started as he kept his eyes locked on his brother, slowly standing up from the couch, keeping his voice calm but stern as if he was dealing with some magical creature. “Give me the camera.”

“’Fraid I can’t do that, Charlie. I need these pictures. Not sure for what yet but I know they’ll come in handy,” Bill replied, chill as ever. This was the most chill they had seen him all year practically with the N.E.W.T.s looming over him. Leave it to his family and messing with his brothers to bring back the old Bill Weasley.

“William,” Charlie continued as he began to slowly approach his brother, continuing to treat him as if he was a wild animal. “I need to have that camera.”

“Oh, you need it,” Bill repeated with a smirk as he began to casually walk back towards the stairs leading to the Gryffindor Boy’s Dormitory, making sure to keep an eye on his little brother. “I didn’t realize you needed it.”

“Oh, brother,” Percy groaned, rolling his eyes at his brother’s antics. It was like he never left home. Which was sort of a comfort… At least the Twins weren’t there to make it more chaotic. Not yet anyways…

“Well if you need it so badly,” Bill continued, his tone clearly mocking Charlie, “Guess you’d better take it from me,” he challenged. “Which is going to be difficult for you considering I’m way up here and you’re way down there.” His insult to Charlie’s height caused the Gryffindor Seeker to pause, mouth opened in a silent gasp. How very dare he! Bill smirked more as he continued. “Of course, that’s assuming you somehow manage to catch me. May be fast on a broom but I clearly cover much more ground than you and your stubby little legs.”

“My legs are not stubby! I’m perfectly proportionate,” Charlie passionately defended. Perhaps Bill touched a nerve? As classic siblings did.

“Aw, is that what mum told you,” Bill teased. That was sweet.

“Bill! Give me that camera!” Charlie suddenly lunged at his older brother. Bill smirked more to himself as he evaded his little brother’s grasp and took off towards what everyone assumed was his bedroom with a sprint, Charlie following quickly after, shouting at him.

“You two are Prefect and Head Boy,” Percy called at them, trying to remind them of their roles since they certainly were not acting accordingly for their positions! “I’m never acting like that when I become Prefect and Head Boy,” he muttered to himself.

Keira had been packing up her things as the brothers disputed, rather amused by it actually. It reminded her of her and Jacob… A good reason why she was so close to Bill and clung to him almost instantly. The whole exchange just reminded her of what she missed but also why she loved the Weasleys so much. She honestly found their playful bickering quite entertaining and couldn’t help but laugh to herself as they continued; however, she had to admit Bill making fun of his shorter brother was a low blow… Which she’d have to tell Bill later clearly because that was a funny pun he should enjoy. Of course she enjoyed a good pun. Had to, or else her friendship with Rowan would be much more strained.

“So… Guess I’ll see you down for breakfast,” she shouted after the two oldest Weasleys as they sprinted off towards the Boy’s Dormitories. Okay then…

Keira slung her bag over her shoulder and smiled at Percy, patting him on the shoulder. “See you later, Perce. And don’t worry, someone else will do something embarrassing and the whole school will be talking about it with this incident completely forgotten about. I promise you, by lunch today, they’ll all be talking about something else,” she reassured. She always found it easier to be nicer to Percy when he didn’t have that creepy rat around…

“Yeah? Thanks.” Percy begrudgingly accepted her reassurance, although he wasn’t so sure he believed it.

“Though, I really think you shouldn’t worry so much about whatever everyone else thinks. And, hey, they’re right. It’s an older sibling’s right to embarrass their younger siblings. So just think how you can embarrass the Twins and Ron when they come to school.” Percy thought it over briefly before shrugging. Alright, she may have a point… Although, to be honest, the Twins usually ended up embarrassing him more with all their pranks.

“Are you heading down to breakfast?” Keira was taken aback by Percy’s offer to head down to the Great Hall together since they weren’t that close and normally clashed over her dislike of his pet rat and his resentment for her rule breaking regarding the Vaults that she also roped his brothers into. But every now and then they had a brief nice little moment like this one. They could talk about Quidditch or she managed to get the Twin’s attention off of harassing him which he greatly appreciated.

“Thanks, Perce. Some other time though. I got to hurry down to my Dorm and let Rowan know I’m okay. She’ll panic if I’m nowhere to be found.” Keira said goodbye to Percy one more time before heading out of the Gryffindor Common Room and returning to her beloved Slytherin Dorm where she was attacked with a hug by Rowan and then promptly scolded for scaring her like that!

“So, you told her.”

“Told her what?”

After their bickering, chase scene, and wrestling session, the two eldest Weasleys casually walked down to the Great Hall together for breakfast as if none of that even happened. Unfortunately, Bill was still keeper of the camera. Although he didn’t have a use for the pictures yet, and Charlie hoped he forgot about them before he found a use for them. He still planned on trying to sneak the camera back somehow.

“You told her how you feel,” Bill replied like it was obvious.

“No, I didn’t,” Charlie told him, confused as to why he would think he did.

“What? So the cuddling on the couch was just –“

“That was an accident,” Charlie insisted, his face reddening slightly. “It… it didn’t mean anything. It just happened.”

Bill studied his brother before smirking. “You love her,” he teased.

“Shut up, I do not!” He just realized he was interested in her as more than a friend, how did it go from fancy to love overnight?

“She likes you too,” Bill informed him.

“How do you know that,” Charlie asked, cynically, however also secretly curious…

“Girls don’t just sleep with every guy,” Bill pointed out before holding up a hand to stop Charlie from interrupting him. “She feels comfortable and safe with you.”

“Don’t friends feel comfortable and safe with each other too,” Charlie asked.

“Friendship on fire,” Bill reminded him.

The two continued down the long, ever changing stairwell towards the Great Hall as Charlie thought over Bill’s words.

“So… why haven’t you told her yet,” Bill asked curiously.

“What? What do you mean why? So I don’t put her in another awkward, embarrassing situation like this one. She’s probably never going to want to speak to me again after that. Or after you and your pictures,” Charlie added with a glare.

“Hey, the pictures are to blackmail you, not embarrass her,” Bill assured.

“Still, I’m pretty sure we’re both humiliated and she’s not going to want anything to do with me. Especially with people talking about it. She’s not going to want be around me, be seen with me.” Charlie almost looked heartbroken as he stared down at the stone stairs beneath him.

“You’re being a little dramatic,” Bill informed him. “Keira is used to people talking about her all the time in the school – about her family and the Vaults. This is just one more thing. Honestly, not even that big of a thing compared to the other topics. So relax.” Bill reached over to give his younger brother a reassuring shoulder squeeze.

Charlie managed a small smile at his brother. He appreciated the reassurance. “Well… still… I’m still sort of processing my own feelings. And despite what you might say, I’m not so sure she feels the same way about me and I don’t want to risk losing our great friendship.”

“That makes sense,” Bill agreed with a nod of his head, although the expression on his face grew grimmer as he thought about how to put his next point. “I understand needing time to process your feelings and being afraid to lose her as a friend but… These Cursed-Vaults are getting more dangerous. The Vaults themselves and the dangers surrounding them like that other group who has already attacked her three times, and you once,” he pointed out, his protective older brother side showing for a moment. “The closer she gets to finding her brother, the more danger she’s putting herself in.”

Charlie’s jaw tightened as he listened closely to his brother. “What are you trying to say?”

“What I’m trying to say is,” Bill started, pausing a moment once again to think about how to phrase it. “Taking the risk of possibly losing her as a friend isn’t as bad as losing her altogether without ever letting her know how you feel.”

Charlie stopped dead in his tracks as the horrible thought of something grave and fatal happening to her on her search for her brother. Bill had a very good point. He, and their group as a whole, tended to forget about the gravity of her situation and everything she was going through, everything she was carrying. Bill, however, always seemed to remember and remind everyone else. Maybe it was because he was the eldest brother who looked out for his little siblings, or because he and Keira both shared that Curse-Breaking adventurous spirit and passion which clearly has risks to it they had to be aware of in that profession.

He hated to admit it, but Bill was right. He didn’t want to lose her as a friend. But he could not lose her forever. And the closer she got to finding, her brother the more danger she was placing herself in as was evident with her multiple death threats and attacks. The possibility of something horrific happening during her quest was very likely. And they all needed to keep that in mind.

What if something did happen to her? And she didn’t know how he felt? He would just have to live with it eating him up inside for the rest of his life. He wouldn’t know if his feelings were reciprocated or not and she wouldn’t know that someone cared about her as much as he did. And she deserved to know that someone felt that way about her before… in case…. Merlin forbid…

Charlie licked his lips and swallowed, his mouth suddenly becoming very dry. “Yeah… you’re right,” he admitted.

Bill paused a couple steps ahead of his brother who suddenly halted at the blindsiding and heart wrenching realization and looked back at him, watching him process this information. “Hey,” he called to his brother softly to get his attention. “It’s going to be fine. She’s strong. She beat me in a duel in Second Year! Besides, she has you, and Rowan, and Penny, and everyone else to help her,” he tried to reassure.

“Yeah,” Charlie replied, although he didn’t sound or look so sure.

“I wasn’t trying to bring you down I just want to make sure you keep in mind how serious and dangerous this situation is. It seems like a fun adventure but it can have some grave consequences. And without me here to guide you all,” he joked slightly, “I hope you can make sure to remind everyone of the severity of the situation so you all remember to keep each other safe.”

Charlie nodded his head as he listened to his brother. He made some more good points. This was a dangerous venture and they had to keep that in mind so they could protect each other.

“And, while I’m fully confident in your and her abilities, something could still go wrong… So, don’t be afraid to seize the moment, or day, or whatever that saying is. You never what’s going to happen.”

Charlie’s jaw tightened again as he thought over Bill’s words. “I guess…”

“Besides, who doesn’t want to hear that someone fancies them? It’s quite the compliment, very flattering,” Bill teasing slightly, managing to get a small smirk from his little brother as he playfully glared at him. “Even if she doesn’t feel the same, which I go on the record that she does, at least it’s a compliment, an ego boost. And I think it’s important to let people know they’re cared about. Especially her with everything she’s going through.”

“Yeah, she does,” Charlie agreed with a small, fond smile.

Bill grinned more as he watched his brother before slinging an arm around his shoulders and dragging him down the hall towards the Great Hall. Charlie couldn’t help but grin and chuckle a bit as he allowed his brother to lead him down the hall. He may have delivered a somewhat rough but necessary dose of truth to ground him, which he needed, but he also always managed to lift him up in the same fell swoop.

“You know, you could have changed before breakfast,” Bill told him as they neared the Great Hall.

“There wasn’t enough time after trying to get the camera from you,” Charlie told him. And since he was still dressed from yesterday, there really wasn’t a need to change.

“Sure there was,” Bill replied before smirking down at his brother. “You didn’t want to change into different clothes because those ones smell like her.”

Charlie’s face instantly heated up as he avoided all eye contact with his brother. “W-what? N-no… th-that’s absurd. You’re… You’re daft! Mad! Completely off your trolley!”

Bill chuckled at Charlie’s frantic refuting. “You’re looking a little flush there,” he teased, only causing Charlie to blush more.

“Sod off,” Charlie replied, giving his brother a light hearted shove causing Bill to dramatically stagger a bit but maintain his arm securely around his little brother’s shoulders.

“I said I was sorry!”

“Oh there he is! Charles Weasley!” The two red headed Gryffindors looked up as a trio of Slytherins ascended from the Dungeons, one clearly quite upset with the dragon obsessed one. Rowan stormed over to Charlie with such a fiery rage in her eyes Bill removed his arm from around his brother and took a couple steps back. Sorry, little bro, you were on your own.

“H-hey, morning Ro-“ Charlie stammered, clearly made nervous by the overprotective friend of Keira’s.

“Don’t you ‘hey, morning Rowan’ me! How dare you keep Keira away all night without informing me or anyone else! I woke up this morning and found her bed empty! The Common Room – empty! The bathroom –“

“Empty,” Charlie finished for her with a small smirk but it quickly disappeared when Rowan clearly did not find it as amusing as he did.

“I woke up and she was gone and I had no idea where she was! If she was okay! And it’s your fault,” Rowan scolded, poking him in the chest surprisingly hard.

“I’m sorry,” Charlie apologized, reaching up to rub where she poked him. “I didn’t mean to –“

“I told you, we both fell asleep studying for the History exam. It’s not a big deal,” Keira tried to assist.

“We have a History exam,” Barnaby exclaimed from next to his fellow Beater. Well bollocks…

“You’re on thin ice,” Rowan warned Charlie with a very intimidating pointed look before marching into the Great Hall for breakfast. Barnaby quickly followed after her, pleading to her to help him cram before this apparent History exam he just learned about!

Keira look at Charlie apologetically as she walked over to him. “I’m sorry about that.”

“It’s okay.” Charlie attempted to act as suave and cool as he could, rubbing the back of his neck as he tried to seem like enduring Rowan’s wrath hadn’t shaken him up.

Bill stepped back up next to his brother, now that the threat of Rowan was gone, and smirked down at the Slytherin. “Keira.”

Keira looked up at the towering Gryffindor and smirked back at him, sharing in some sort of unspoken conversation. “Willard.” Maybe it was that Curse-Breaking connection, but Keira and Bill often would share a look or these unspoken moments as if they knew exactly what the other was thinking and sometimes it really bothered Charlie.

According to Keira, it was another thing she shared with Jacob, a special connection where they could just share a look and seem to have a whole conversation, know exactly what the other was thinking; why she really loved having that again with another older brother figure like Bill. She honestly would not be able to survive with him and hoped he knew what an important person in her life he was.

Bill laughed slightly before patting the top of her head as he passed by her to head into the Great Hall. “Don’t take too long or you’ll miss breakfast,” he called back to them as he left them to their privacy.

Keira frowned and cringed away as he pat her head, something she hated, which he knew – hence why he did it like any older brother! Just reminding everyone how freakishly tall he was! At least that was something Keira enjoyed saying and teasing him about. Once he had disappeared into the bustling Great Hall she reached up to fix her hair he probably messed up, glaring after him.

“So, uh… I’m sorry,” Charlie awkwardly started, stealing Keira’s attention away from glaring daggers at Bill’s back.

“For what,” she asked quizzically. “Oh, for running off like that instead of saying a proper goodbye? Because your mum didn’t raise you like that,” she teased slightly. “It’s okay. I understand why you had to go after Bill. It was actually quite entertaining.”

“No for uh…” Charlie paused as his hand dropped from nervously rubbing the back of his neck to be shoved into the pocket of his oversized hand-me-down jeans to match its partner. “Huh. Yeah, guess that was rather rude of me,” he thought out loud as it suddenly dawned on him how they left things. “Guess I need to apologize for two things then,” he chuckled awkwardly.

“What’s the second thing,” Keira asked curiously.

Charlie was amazed at her attitude towards this situation. He wasn’t sure if she was just acting like everything was fine to avoid any awkwardness and making him feel worse than he already did or if she truly did not mind and was not affected by what happened at all. He wasn’t sure which he would prefer.

“For… you know… falling asleep like that.” Charlie’s gaze shifted down as he nervously shuffled his feet, a hint of blush playing on his cheeks.

“You don’t have to apologize for that. We both fell asleep,” Keira assured. He was so sweet.

“Yeah but… Now everyone’s talking about it.”

“When is everyone not talking about me,” Keira replied dryly causing Charlie to tense slightly as he looked up at her.

“That’s what I mean. Everyone’s always talking about you and your brother, spreading rumors. It has to bother you. Even if you act like it doesn’t.” Now it was the Slytherin’s turn to avoid eye contact and shift uncomfortably at the protective and firm tone and sudden shift in demeanor from the Gryffindor.

Because he was right.

No matter how apathetic she acted or how many jokes she made, some of the things they said did bother her. And for once she wished the school would find something else to talk about that wasn’t about her, or her brother, and the Cursed-Vaults.

But what really got her was how he somehow always managed to see through her. See through her strong and sarcastic façade of witty comebacks and nonchalant shrugs at the deep seeded pain and loneliness underneath. She wasn’t used to anyone making her feel so transparent. And she hated feeling so exposed. What was worse was how much she surprisingly liked it. It brought her a sense of relief; like she could finally breathe and let her defenses down. And then he somehow managed to blindside her yet again by always knowing exactly what to say or do to make her feel better.

Charlie’s intense gaze softened as he watched her stare into the crowded Great Hall and at the brief crack in her walls that exposed her vulnerability and anxiety. “I understand if you want to keep some distance from me until things die down.” Keira’s head whipped back to look at him. “I’m not taking it personal,” he quickly assured before she had a chance to speak. “I just don’t want to make it worse.”

The expression on her face was unreadable, not that Charlie had a long enough time to study it before she shook her head. “No. I don’t want that,” she said firmly, catching him off-guard. “It’s not going to matter anyway. But even if it did… I appreciate the sentiment,” she added, her tone softening. “And, honestly, everyone talking about us falling asleep studying in your Common Room is ten times better than everyone talking about the Cursed-Vaults.”

Charlie smiled slightly at her, feeling a little guilty having her reassure him when he was supposed to be the reassuring one. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah. This is hardly anything compared to when you, Bill, and I went into the Forbidden Forest anyways,” she assured him with a smirk.

Charlie chuckled and nodded his head before pausing. “Yeah… Wait, people were talking about that? What were they saying?” The Slytherin just laughed and turned to head into the Great Hall for breakfast with the confused Gryffindor following after her. “What were people saying?”

“Don’t worry about it,” she laughed, pausing in the doorway to the large dining hall as what felt like every pair of eyes fell on them. It unexpectedly made the Slytherin falter for a moment. Wow, guess word did travel fast…

The sound of someone clearing their throat caught the couple’s attention, causing both to look over at the Ravenclaw table and their fellow Quidditch aficionado. Once he had their attention, Andre motioned for them to look up with a mischievous smirk. The couple looked at him quizzically before tilting their heads back to look up as instructed. Well, it was almost Christmas.

As soon as his eyes focused on the mistletoe hanging above them he could feel the heat begin to spread to his face and the dragons awaken in his stomach. He could sense Bill’s smug look, Percy’s exasperated eye roll, and Andre’s snickering. Not to mention the variety of eager eyes glued on them from around the room, from their friends and other peers and maybe even some nosy spirits. This would not be so bad if he didn’t have that bloody stupid realization of his bloody stupid feelings that had gone and buggered everything up! Now it was his turn to falter.

“Hey.” Her voice brought him back, quite literally as he tore his attention away from the hanging plant taunting him from the rafters and met her gaze. “I’m going to go help Barnaby study for the History exam he just learned about.”

Charlie stared at her quizzically. Did she not notice the hanging Erumpent above them? Or… Perhaps she sensed his nervousness and was trying to ease his nerves by downplaying yet another awkward situation they were in. He let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding in and began to visibly relax. She had no idea how much he appreciated her right now. Or at any other time. She was always there for him to rely on. Bloody hell, he really did fancy her.

“You can join us if you want. I mean, you should be an expert now after studying all night,” she teased. “But I also understand if you need a break. And if that’s the case, I’ll see you in class,” she added with a grin that distracted Charlie from the mischievous glint in her eyes.

“Yeah, I’ll –“

She had managed to lure him into a false sense of security and got him to drop his defenses. Any sense of ease quickly vanished and morphed into hot jitters spreading throughout his body. His whole body tensed up in alertness. His eyes widened as once again he felt heat rushing to his face. In one swift move she caught him off-guard and halted all functioning. What was he saying? What were words? He couldn’t even think coherently.

The feeling of her lips on his cheek lingered as she moved away. It was only a quick peck, and only on the cheek, but it was all it took to cause his world, and his breath, to come to a screeching halt. The next bit didn’t help. At. All.

“If they’re going to talk, might as well give them something to talk about.” He could hear the smirk in her voice as her warm breath tickled his ear, causing a jolt of electricity to shoot down his spine. He had to resist shivering. Did she have to say it like that though? In such a sultry whisper? He swallowed hard as she pulled away and smiled innocently at him. He was sure his face was as red as his hair at this point.

“See you around, dragon boy.” She gave him one more quick smirk before turning and sauntering over to her Slytherin table. He watched her go, frozen and speechless.

Through all the noise in the Great Hall he could hear distinctly the groan of his younger brother Percy followed by a light thud as the more uptight Weasley’s head made contact with the Gryffindor table. That was accompanied by the encouraging whistling of his older brother, which did not help Percy’s humiliation, followed by Bill’s voice calling throughout the dining hall in a classic embarrassing older brother fashion.

“Hey, if anyone happened to get a photo of that I’m going to need it to send home to mum!”

Could this day get any more embarrassing?

A/N: “disturbance in the force” Get it?! Because Domhnall Gleeson plays Bill and is in Star Wars! Get it!? =p (I’m a dork!)

I sort of headcanon that the Weasley’s have the one camera that they all share which eventually will be passed down to the Twins (and Ron and Ginny but the Twins are the ones who seem to actually use it as shown in the picture from their Egypt trip)

Keira totally told Bill the only reason Fleur was interested in him was because he was tall.

I know it’s not the best thing I’ve ever written, probably because my inspiration has been focused on Year 6 (and even 7) stories I’ve started, but I want to finish Year 5 stories before posting Year 6 and try to post them in order or at least more orderly.

Thanks for reading! =)

Tag List: @bexeris @cinnamoncam @sly-vixen-up2nogood @sungoddessra@tatlikar @urban-eagle / @scribbleries 

(Think that’s all. Let me know if you’d like to be removed from or added to the taglist!)

[bigsarc]

12 years

Stronger than lover's love is lover's hate. Incurable, in each, the wounds they make. - Euripides, Medea

---

Remus unpacked his suitcase from Hogwarts, the place he never thought would go back to, met people he thought he would never meet. He was almost at the last of his new cigarettes packet. He coughed for only half way the first one, it later felt like breathing familiar air.

Anytime now, thought Remus.

Remus felt protection around his cabin flicker as an animal passed. He opened the door with wandless magic, he also felt push of magic from other side of door.

Sirius turned to two legs after being sure that it was safe. Remus rose from his couch to hug Sirius. A welcome hug. For Remus at least.

“I was under impression you stopped smoking Moony.” said Sirius nudging the muscle above Remus' collar bone, lips subconsciously tracing once familiar scars.

“Well it's been 12 years and people change with time.” said Remus breaking hug and taking a step away from Sirius.

“What is it Sirius?”

Sirius didn't expect Remus reacting the way he did. “Wanted to see how my old friend is doing. It's been 12 years as you noticed.” said Sirius smiling.

“You sure took your time.”said Remus puffing up a fat ring of smoke.

“Moony, I…. I needed the punishment.”, smoke was burning Sirius' eyes making it difficult to see Remus.

“You didn't just punish yourself, Sirius.” another cloud of smoke.

“It was me who killed them by asking them to change. I wish you call me Padfoot unless that too changed over 12 years. And stop smoking b…,” coughed Sirius.

“I lived for 12 years thinking I outlived more than half you tossers. You were dead to me Sirius. At least half dead.” said Remus. He took a long drag and snuffed the fire in remaining fire whiskey from evening.

“I'm here now am I not? Let's catch-up Moony. How is Harry? He said he will visit me before summer e-”

“Sirius, your head is so high up your ass that you are eating your own shit.” chuckled Remus.

“I missed Harry. I missed you, I was in Azkaban Monny.” replied Sirius in anger. Sirius thought, expected or even hoped Remus would reciprocate the enthusiasm to rekindle the fire of youth.

“No shit. What about the rest of world? You think it was puffskein eating candy and puking rainbows?”

“Monny! It was all fuzzy. I didn't know..”

“You laughed! The laugh that haunted me for 12 years. I thought you were the spy. I had to believe you outted them. I thought if I had been the keeper, even if it meant my death I would saved them all, you included. You laughed Sirius! I had to relive every moment we shared. I relived every detail of you during the war to find the clues I missed first time.”

“I never betrayed them. Never!” Pain started to seep into his anger. Sirius was fighting his urge to turn to Padfoot.

“Don't use the words so easy Sirius. You betrayed their son. Because of the judgement you passed on yourself, because of that Harry had to live without knowing his parents for most of his childhood. He had to live thinking they died in car crash. He had to live thinking no one loved him. He lived wearing clothes that didn't fit him, with out celebrating birthdays." Said Remus almost shouting.

Even before facts sank into Sirius, Remus spoke softly "I can almost forgive you for not being secret keeper. I don't even blame you now for not being secret keeper."

Remus looked into the black of Sirius' grey eyes. Sirius had never seen such spite in Remus usual warm looks.

"But not for this," continued Remus, tears pooling. "Dying for people you love, sounds sweet Sirius. Having someone who loves or cares for you is sweeter. Living for someone you love is sweetest. I was there to love you. I loved you from my bones! You hurt me more than lycanthropy Sirius. I understand I can be easy to forget, easy to fall out of love or just difficult to keep loving. Just another monster, a hell dog with tainted blood. But Harry? Harry needed all the love world has to offer. Every shred our disgusting selves can conjure up. And nothing would have even compensated Lilly's fierce love. And James' stupid, stubborn, blind protection. Harry had to grow up without even taste of memories, memories of Lilly, Prongs, you, me. Voldemort snatched everything from that kid. You being a fucking selfish hypocrite snatched what's possible. And society, me… it's too cruel to even let me close. If only… ” Remus fell to the ground sobbing.

“If only you were here Sirius, Harry would have had a family that loves him. I would be allowed to rise him. He would have been lot more happier. He would have known Lilly Evans and James Potter.”

-----++-+-------_+)+_##))(-_$#@())&#@#-))/(__

Ahem! It might give off that Remus was cruel not his usual sweet, warm persona. But Sirius was the only person he can be that way. The quote helped me pen down type a different perspective of my Remus. Please let me know what you think.

FYI: It's full moon today. Full moon of spring.