#don't mind me i can't sleep so i'm shitposting

[murderofcrow]

hmm... i knew this reminded me of something 💀

[murder-cookie-dust393]

Ok everyone is on a shadow milk train so might as well submit a shadow milk thing....I can submit other stuff later.

Shadow milk x reader....after reader had a terrible nightmare and wakes up, upset...shadow milk can comfort em and cheer em up...aaaand possibly help them go back to sleep.

I should be doing my older requests but fuck it- I want some of this shit

I have no fucking idea if Shadow Milk even sleeps since his soul is locked away and all, but we'll just say he does.

Tw: mention of trauma, clown music

You wake up in the middle of the night, shaking slightly. What you had just gone through? Those memories, those terrible memories. They all kept repeating in your mind, stabbing you over and over again with the same blade of trauma. You feel movement beside you, a grumble coming the jester.

"What's wrong?" He turned his head to face you, his eyes less vibrant than they are in the daytime. He reached out to grab your hand, briefly glancing at it. "You're shaking again." He reached out his other arm to hold you close. His voice sounds a bit croaky from sleeping, but comforting compared to the screams of your nightmare.

"You're fine. You're no longer in that treacherous place, dearie. No one can give you a fright, except me. Your one and only clown." He poked a few jokes to lighten the mood, and it worked. A little. You feel yourself coming back to your body, no longer in that dream world. You put your head on his shoulder, staring up at the ceiling.

"Shadow Milk..." You mumble, still a bit lost in your thoughts.

"Shush. Don't waste your time thinking. Just remember I am here. You should focus on me instead." His words might seem mean or ignorant, but you could tell he meant well. He wants to be there for you. He wants to distract you from your mind of swirling agony.

He starts to lightly hum, and you immediately recognized it. It was The Entry of the Gladiators. The most iconic clown song on earth. You almost wanted to laugh. He holds your tighter, practically squishing you to his side.

"Go to sleep. We can clown around in the morning my dearest." He continues to hum the silly song, making it seem like it was a lullaby for you.

Perhaps it was. He is your clown after all. You feel weight on your eyes. You can't resist the pull of slumber. You fell asleep in silence, his crazy self now the topic of your mind.

——————————————————

I wrote this in like 30 minutes so I apologize if it's a bit messy. But hey, having fun is more important.

I love how I try to make a softer post- which always ends in some form of shitpost.

If you don't what The Entry of the Gladiators is go search it up. I'm 100% sure you'll recognize the song.

(da da da-da-da da-da)

- Celina

[spectrum-core]

hi if you don’t mind me asking I’d love to hear more about serrated duo parallels?

Alright, just to make sure we are on the same page because I'm not sure if many people know who am I even talking about when I say serrated duo, I mean this pair of goofballs who I love very much.

Fuckass essay about them and how this thing even came to be (which is not what you asked for but it's still important I think) under the cut, as a warning though this is EXTREMELY long, i'm also writing it assuming the readers have played ruina to completion, have at least glanced at the ruina artbook once and are decently familiarized with the pjm universe and its terminology.

"But Spec", you may (and reasonably so) say, "these guys show up in different story tiers, one is a glorified ranged attack tutorial with a minor lore exposition attached to him and the other doesn't even have anything going on due to being a general reception, what the hell".

So let's get into this, more meticulously organized than some essays I've submitted for my uni classes because I care that much about these guys (don't be like me and do your uni projects, please).

Table of contents:

How the fuck did this even come to be 1.1. Me yapping about character dessign

Liwei as a character 2.1. The surface 2.2. Emotional internal nature 2.3. Resentment

Dong Hwan as a character (sorry can't separate him into many categories bc there's NOTHING THERE man i'm absolutely grasping for straws here i KNOW it, but please bear with me)

Summarizing parallels

If you don't feel like sitting through my attempts to contextualize how this ship came to be and me desperately grasping for straws, feel free to skip all the way down to part 4

1.- How the fuck did this even come to be

Honestly the whole thing started as a sleep deprivation shitpost I rolled with because yeah i like these two guys a lot (if you read that one post talking among other things about why I like liwei so much in the first place, the short reply also applies to dong hwan and... Yeag, the only thing that's better than one hot guy is two hot guys and so on).

There was also an interesting aspect about this because maybe it's just me but based of liwei's dialogue lines and keypage text he suggests not trusting, or even liking/admiring/looking up to, high graded fixers (despite feeling that he's supposed to). With an emphasis put into colors because, I mean, he fucking died because he met one at the wrong moment, but I feel it's a general thing he feels for grade 2s and above.

With this in mind, putting him to interact with a grade 1 is... at the very least it has the potential to put them into a funny mutual vitriol kind of dynamic with lw constantly thinking "what's the deal with this guy? does he expect me to praise him just for having a high grade? well, tough luck, i'm no bootlicker" and dh constantly thinking "what's wrong with this man? is he unable to recognize greatness even if it punched him in the face...? should i punch him in the face?", but it becomes far more interesting when you try to imagine (and, with dong hwan being an absolute background character we can only assume things of from extremely vague hints, pretty much all we can do about him is imagining) what made them both special enough for each of them to think "wait, hold on, i actually like this guy" of the other.

After the initial shitpost stage was over, we (the guy who came up with serrated duo while sleep deprived and me) started talking about why we liked both characters and we essentially concluded that, at least dessign wise, they are the same type of guy (ofc I also added a couple of characters I like and who fit the criteria to my post but this post isn't about them).

1.1.- Me yapping about character dessign

On top of that, if you pay attention specifically to liwei and dong hwan in there, you can notice that there's a pretty neat balance of common and contrasting themes in their dessigns, almost in a two sides of the same coin way, so here's a non exhaustive list:

both characters have a primarily monochrome/dark aesthetic going on, with their eyes being the primary colored element that stands out in their dessigns (yeah, you could say that dh has brown hair too but it's a dark shade of brown that doesn't catch the eye nearly as much as the bright-yet-deep shade of red of his eyes)

on top of that, liwei's eyes are blue while dong hwan's are red (i thought they were reddish brown at first but that's just an effect of the transparency, if you separate the sprite in it's different parts, you'll notice his eyes are actually red), which happens to link with a certain trope about two-sides-of-the-same-coin pairs... (will elaborate on this later trust me).

despite the previously mentioned similar monochrome aesthetic, there's a clear contrast between their styles and how they wear their clothes, with liwei having a much more "only informal if it's more practical that way" type of look, with a focus on practicality over trying to stand out too much (for the most part at least, he was dessigned with the idea of a cool guy in mind after all), while dong hwan is essentially wearing a business suit in the most fucked up way possible (really, what the fuck dong hwan), which of course makes his dessign incredibly memorable. To further elaborate on this (and to add details that don't really follow this formal until unpractical/informal AND unpractical pattern): -Liwei's clothes stay in similar shades of grey and black giving him a more uniform look, while dong hwan uses more contrasting shades in his clothing (despite wearing primarily black clothes, that light grey shirt absolutely stands out, and by extension he does) -Liwei wears long boots, while dong hwan wears regular shoes -Liwei wears a long coat, while dong hwan wears a short jacket -Liwei has a fully buttoned dress shirt with a tie, dong hwan wears his shirt unbuttoned, in an universe where clothes are basically like armor this is essentially him saying that he's confident that his opponents won't be able to hit him in the chest, or that even if they did he wouldn't get too hurt from it, and it's a dessign detail that absolutely stands out in an universe where most characters only show skin in their head, neck and hands at most, as we know since its stated in multiple keypages and cutscenes, if a character shows more skin than the absolutely bare minimum, then that means that A. they are inmensely strong, and B. they are even more confident in their capacities, with this being a tactic to intimidate potential enemies for many factions -Liwei wears fingerless gloves while dong hwan wears regular gloves, while at first glance this detail seems to subvert the pattern, let's be real here... have you tried to hold any object and using it properly with gloves? unless you're wearing latex gloves or something made of very thin fabric that shit's absurdly hard, of course i assume there's weird city tech involved in dh's gloves but at least that's my own personal impression of that particular contrast)

and going back to common but not really details: both characters have something noteworthy in their ears (this is most likely just a result of the characters being visible as chibis in game so the best way to give them memorable dessigns is by slapping somewhat unique stuff in their faces and heads BUT IM GRASPING FOR STRAWS HERE OK) with liwei's earpiece (which serves a practical function) and dong hwan's earrings (which look cool as hell, going in line with both characters' general priorities)

similarly, both have something in their opposite eyes, with liwei partially covering his right eye with his hair and dong hwan having the scar going through his left eye.

the right-left motif is actually very relevant in their dessigns. You see, most character sprites in ruina switch the hand in which they're holding their weapons for certain frames (or at least, this is not uncommon to see), either for rule of cool, clearer silhouettes or whatever reasons. However, in every frame in which liwei is visibly holding his knife, he holds it with his left hand (and when he uses his pistol he holds it with both hands), suggesting that he may be left handed. On the other hand (see what I did there?), dong hwan consistently holds his knife with his right hand, in every. single. frame. of his sprite, suggesting that he's right handed instead.

And of course, both of them have elements in their opposite legs too, with liwei having these two stupid fucking belts (affectionate) in his right leg while dong hwan has... whatever the fuck that thing is, in his left leg.

Of course I'm not here saying that they were given contrasting dessigns on purpose, but all these details end up making both of them looking really cool when put together, specially with how their dessigns emphatize their personal preferences and priorities, something I will elaborate upon in each character's section later.

2.- Liwei as a character

Liwei is one of my favorite pjm characters as a whole, yes i like him more than ayin, yes i like him more than angela, yes i like him more than carmen, yes i like him more than dante, yes i like him more than your favorite sephirah/patron librarian/sinner, no im not saying i think any of these characters is bad or poorly written and in fact i think pjm has made an amazing job with protagonists so far catching my interest even with characters i thought i wouldn't vibe with at all, but i have a thing for unremarkable background guys.

As you may have guessed, this means that i have a lot, and i mean A LOT to say about him.

This also means that I have a very specific interpretation of him, this interpretation, while clearly taking bases from what we can see of him in game, is entirely fanmade and i'm not trying to claim this is what anyone intended to convey with him, but it's what makes sense for me.

This interpretation also strays away from some other fan characterizations I've seen of him. So if you think he's actually, at his core, a serious, formal, emotionally detached and unbearably professional, even outside work hours, guy who's deeply dedicated to the honorable task of murder and who is in good terms with the shi association or holds them in high regard? sorry, but for me he's nothing like that.

2.1- The surface

"But Spec", you may say again, "he does act emotionally detached during his cutscene, he even says that people die all the time! are you sure you are actually reading this character right?"

Of course I'm not, I'm just saying that I'm reading him in a way that makes enough sense to me, but I do have reasons to believe that the serious and emotionally detached attitude is an akward mixture of a facade he puts up to be taken seriously by others and an incredibly unhealthy coping mechanism, so let's start by analyzing his artbook profile...

Wait a minute, is that..?

Ok, I'll see myself out and continue writing the actual character analysis this is what people are here for.

Anyway, going back to the character profile, you may be inclined to see it and assume "well, that actually just proves that he's a serious and formal dude" at first, until you realize that artbook profiles, due to their in-universe explaination being that they were compilled by roland and angela from the information they could take out of the guests' books, are most likely to be about what the guests perceive themselves as/would say to describe themselves rather than what they actually are when looked at from an outsider's perspective. Further proof of the artbook profiles being subjective comes from how the profiles change almost erratically for distortions and ego users, with people in the middle of both states simply not knowing how to describe themselves, the fact that we lack any information about the agents of the head as they were never booked, or how characters such as tomerry have...

This, which I mean, it's very clear that's just tomerry talking about themselves.

Now, liwei's personality traits, or at least what he'd use to describe himself, are "Meticulous, Efficient, and Sharp". We know that he has to be efficient at the very least, considering the nature of his job and guns in universe, the same thing goes for meticulous, we can assume he wants to do things the right away so that he gets paid, sharp as a personality descriptor can take multiple meanings and frankly i don't know which was the original korean word used to describe him so i can't tell which is the right one but most of them seem pretty accurate, at least when looking at him from a surface perspective.

To be honest, I don't think any of the traits mentioned there is precisely wrong, I simply don't think that they are the main or core ones, but they are the traits liwei tries to show, at least.

Another interesting detail is that all full stop fixer artbook profiles have food related items for the likes and and dislikes sections, except for stephan disliking dangerous jobs.

Not particularly noteworthy for this category in particular but still tangentially linked to a point that I believe is also a core characteristic of all three full stop fixers and that is key to understand all three of them, their dynamics and the choices they make during their reception: they are Poor As Shit, because guns and bullets are expensive of course, we also get to see this in stephan's obssesive fixation in money (come on nobody actually checks their bank account as a hobby... right, guys?), and of course this ties in with wanting to be seen as someone serious and professional people will trust with their money AND with the idea of them having the need to maximize efficiency to... well... you... you know... not end up even worse than they actually are.

2.2- Emotional internal nature

Alright, and here we dwell into the actually spicy part of the essay, at least for liwei's character: the moments in which the mask of a professional and emotionally detached guy cracks and he shows his more emotional, and mostly caring, side. This is focused in the way in which he treats stephan and tamaki (compared with how several other faction leaders treat their underlings).

While I should probably need to read all the dialogue in the game to make sure this is a particularly notorious detail, something that inmediately caught my attention is... the fact that liwei never uses a single honorific when refering to other people, neither he's bothered by stephan's more informal speech and the fact that he doesn't refer to him by any honorific or title either (sure, you could say this is because they were in a life or death situation but also y'know, it says something about you that the people below you don't feel the need to use formalities when talking to you), the only person he calls by title instead of first name is... well, the blue reverb, whose real name we can assume he didn't know, with also him being someone perfectly capable of killing not only him but the guys standing beside him as well, you'd want to be as respectful as possible when talking to a guy like that and trying to negotiate.

(even then he doesnt use any sort of honorific towards him, at least in the english translation of the text, he simply refers to him by title)

He neither uses any title or honorific when talking to angela, despite keeping a formal/respectful attitude, i honestly believe that he is genuinely formal and respectful but... you know, that's not the beginning and end of who he is.

Of course, this isn't a major point, but I think it's worth mentioning considering how important honorifics can be to establish the speaker's relationship with the people a message is directed to, they can be used to distance oneself from others. So in a way it could be seen as him putting himself at an "equal" position relative to stephan and tamaki, as opposed to trying to assert that he's their superior (at least in the context of the mission they were working in, since his title is merely fixer, not operator, president, director or anything implying some form of leadership on his end).

Another extremely important detail is his inmediate first reaction once argalia shows up and ruins their plan is... not coming up with a plan b, not trying to fight him in any way, not doing anything about trying to save what little money they can, he quite literally tells stephan "forget about money, we need to survive now".

His initial reaction is directly just yelling at his team to run away, and this stays consistent once he:

Notices that stephan and tamaki are beginning to argue over the future of their mission and how much money they lost.

Realizes that they can't outrun argalia as long as they're wielding their heavy (and again, extremely expensive) equipment. This says a lot as it shows that he cares enough for the people under his care to let the office go bankrupt if it means they can live.

Needless to say, stephan and tamaki refuse to do so and while he clearly isn't precisely happy about the inevitable confrontation with argalia, he doesn't argue about this, he does understand their concern about money, he's not like the other authority figures who will ignore their underlings' concerns at best and ditch them once they outlive their usefulness at worst (at least, that's what i imagine he thinks as he makes these choices).

Not to mention, once they are in a, if only slightly, safer situation in the library, his inmediate response is trying to comfort stephan and tamaki, things dont look good but theyre at least alive, for now.

And there's this line which... doesn't seem to fit at first glance with the idea of him wanting his office to survive at all costs... right?

That is until you realize that he says that line during yet another argument between stephan and tamaki, as an attempt to get them both to calm down, this could also fit in with him trying to keep or restore the cynical, stoic and serious act, but then again we get to see his more emotional and sincere side once he:

Gets killed, quite literally saying that he didn't want to die yet, at least to me this line alone is enough to pretty much confirm that he didn't really mean it when saying that trying to delay their deaths was pointless, but if you need more, he also acts against that same line when he...

Sees his allies die, and inmediately starts freaking out.

Wins the reception, in which case his inmediate first concern is, again, not money, lost ammunition or anything, but rather if stephan and tamaki are okay and if they will be safe once they return.

I don't think that line was him fully lying though, it does say something about him that makes enough sense to me and fits with the rest of the characterization: that his cynism runs much, much deeper than stephan's.

Tl;dr he is extremely caring and emotional deep inside, and even though he tries to suppress that side of himself it always finds a way to show itself, I feel like in other contexts this makes him prone to emotional outbursts and generally make him an unpleasant person to be around... save for people who are already familiar with his personality quirks and the fact that he is Like That.

2.3- Resentment

Of course, this dissonance between the person he tries to pretend to be to fit in/keep his job and the person he actually is made him grow a pretty strong disliking of... well, everything he considers related to the fact that he has to act like that to get enough money to feed the people in his office.

I also feel like he feels genuine guilt over the fact that his job is essentially just glorified murder, I have no base for this other than the more detached way in which he refers to the church of gears, it almost feels like hes forcing himself to not care because its them or him and his office, and that he has genuine self-hating tendencies because of it (which he also uses his stoic act to hide, he doesn't want to worry his office and become a burden to them, after all), in a way he may be trying to overcompensate by being nice to his office to feel like there's people he can help/protect.

But this hatred towards himself also manifests in the form of hatred towards anything he can blame over him being the way he is and working the job he has.

As I said before, I don't think liwei likes colors, or most high grade fixers for that matter, you may also extend this to figures of authority, influential organizations or even the city's society as a whole (and honestly? i do personally, i don't think he's actually capable of forming any particularly healthy bond with people outside his office because of this, and even then saying that the relationships he has with his office are healthy is... generous to put it softly, this is not to say that he secretly hates the other people in the office, but rather that he fears that they may secretly hate him, because he's the highest graded member of the office, he hates people sitting above him so it only makes sense that people below him hate him for being above them, right?), and of course I'm not saying this because I'm projecting or because I think it's cool and edgy and sad but I actually have bases for this from what I can see in the game.

The first example of him not trusting high grade fixers AND influential organizations being one of the very first things he says when being introduced: that having an important person, from an important organization, belonging to an important section of said organization, approach him and give him a request was shady as fuck.

And he turned out to be right, as Yujin was planning for him and his office to get sent to the library and die there so she could read their books and find some passage saying shit like "well we were found by the blue fucking reverb and our only choice was to come here and die even though we were royally fucked either way life sucks see you all in hell my final message 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕" so she could use that on her favor.

In this topic too, I'm personally firmly opposed to the idea of full-stop office being affiliated to the shi association and this is the hill i'm willing to die on, but I digress.

We see this same resentment on an even deeper level in his keypage where he talks about colors (and we can assume this view extends to other high graded fixers, and to a lesser extent to the hana association), he doesn't sound like he wants to become a color, he doesn't sound like he even likes the concept of colors being a thing that exists in the first place.

The most important lines from these fragments to me being the following:

"A color is the dream [...] of all fixers who wish for freedom.", freedom is a VERY relevant concept in project moon and ruina makes a very clear point about how nobody is free in the city, roland says it, most plot relevant guests say it, some patron librarians say it too... a huge part of the story is how angela comes to terms to the fact that turning human wont grant her freedom and how she ultimately becomes free by embracing her nature as a machine (so free indeed that the head decides to kick her and the entire library out of the city, not only shes a machine that acts like a human, which is already a major city wide taboo, she made a choice that no human in the city should ever make). Essentially, liwei seems to see colors (and im assuming that by extension high graded fixers) as the ultimate example of an impossible aspirational class (think of these "self made" enterpreurs who received extremely generous financial support from their rich parents to start massive companies as the closest irl equivalent, except that obviously not the same, i will elaborate more on this later).

"They put forward the colors as great and successful people that other fixers will look up to. They dream of earning wealth and fame, and to be free like them one day." Why would he be talking in third person here if he too admired colors, or wanted to be like them, or thought that were free in any way? Also that separation between money and fame (something that colors objectively do have since they can afford exclusive high tech weapons and armor) with freedom (something that is debatable, but liwei seems to assume colors don't have) feels too much like a deliberate choice to further push towards that point of him seeing colors as not only an impossible goal to achieve for the average fixer but also that the ideal of a color as someone who is free is something impossible to achieve even if one were to become a color.

"Colors are assigned by the 'Hana Association'. [...] The title of a color is forcibly given to fixers who qualify essentially. Can a fixer be truly happy with freedom that was forcefully handed to them?" This particular fragment, specially the last sentence, is absolutely key for Liwei's characterization, and the final and most important part of him saying "wait, no, colors aren't free, because nobody is" to me. It is also worth noting that this fragment can be read in multiple ways, all of them are important and accurate for his characterization.

He thinks that the responsability and risks that come with being handed the title of a color are far greater than the prestige that comes with the title, can you really say that someone who cant afford to decline requests due to being contacted by the most important organizations in the city, whose closest friends or family WILL be regularly targetted by rivals either to extort them for money or just try to attack them to the point in which most high graded fixers abandon any personal attachment to others, who will have to see the horrible things that happen in the city in an almost day-to-day basis and will likely have to do even worse things in the name of corporate interests is free? Can you really call it freedom if you can't refuse it? Essentially he is saying "actually every single aspect of being a color is terrible and to make matters worse that life is forced on them after they go through extreme miseries in the hopes for a better life but all they get is more of the same if not even worse, they aren't free and shouldn't be refered to as such."

He thinks that in order to become a color (or any highly graded fixer, really), you must essentially lose yourself, which is to say abandoning all friendships or familiar bonds, only keeping shallow interactions with people, desensitizing themselves to whatever horrifying shit they may have to see, abandon all sense of morality as they never know what their next request will be and "im sorry but i dont do xyz, it does against my personal morals" isnt an argument that will work in a place like the city, this also fits into the whole "actually having a much more chaotic emotional side he's trying his absolute hardest to supress but failing" theme mentioned in point 2.2., someone who is so deeply emotional and whose actions are ultimately defined by what is the most likely to keep the people around him alive is obviously not going to like the idea of keeping his distance to them, or to dispose of people with lower grades than him because they were supposed to be expendables anyway.

I don't remember the exact quote and i dont feel like looking for it but in one of gebura's cutscene she claims that all power in the city only serves to strike those below but never up. You have to climb to get stronger and then you'll only be able to assert dominance (through violence) over people weaker than you are, and she grew to dislike this, as she wanted to protect others but was never able to do so because of how the city was dessigned.

Of course, liwei reached the same conclusion but he took the much simpler but much more unhealthy approach of assuming "well, if things are like that, then that must mean that everyone in a position of power (over me) must be responsible for this".

Of course this also comes with the side effect of him being as caring for the rest of the office as he can because he doesn't want to be like other figures of authority as i mentioned in point 2.2, but thats not to mean that things are all fine in the office, i feel like there are several moments in which he internally curses his position of authority but not quite (bc i don't think he's actually The Big Guy In Charge of the office, really), most obviously the aforementioned moment in which he yells at tamaki and stephan to drop their guns so they can run away and live when they clearly dont want to, i feel like at moments like that he feels like they only do things because he tells them to and they "can't argue" (except that they do, fortunately for him the enviroment in the office is healthy enough for the rest of full stops to not abuse this fact, but the "what if"s are absolutely eating him from the inside). As ironic as it sounds his earnest desire to not be Like The Others is the same thing stopping him from being the perfect and efficient leader he wishes to be, and he probably isn't sure of which thing he values more than the other (it's staying true to his own morals and keeping the people under him safe).

However, there's a key detail here that's worth noting: liwei has a tendency to treat everyone else as equals, sure he is formal and respectful when doing so (pressumably even when talking to people he'd rather never interact with if we assume his conversation with argalia was actually how he is and not him just walking on eggshells to not get killed) but he doesn't bother trying to make a clear distinction of who is above and below him, no matter what their title and rank may be, and for people who are used to being looked up to by everyone else this will be seen this as him insulting them in some way, it may come from a sincere desire of him to come off as insulting while not breaking any (major) social convention in an act of malicious compliance or just the type of person he is, that's up to you to determine.

"But how the hell does any of this relate to dong hwan?" we'll get there right now.

3.- Dong Hwan as a character

This is kinda... the hardest point to talk about, because sure I can yap all I want about him but... it's hard to without going "Source: I made it up" too much.

So, looking at his combat sprites you may notice one thing: he is unbelievably hot for real what the hell he has an incredibly smug aura, most people who care about him to some extent i've seen tend to depict him as a very prideful person, and honestly i dont think differently either.

HOWEVER, i feel like despite this he's still a levelheaded guy who can aknowledge his own flaws. On top of that, i think he's a pretty charismatic guy and he's capable of noticing other people's strenghts, and he'll let people know about their own strenghts too.

Also, to contrast with his smug and cheerful exterior, his combat lines depict him as someone very serious when at work, he doesn't even react emotionally to getting killed.

His first "on kill" line is also particularly interesting, as it shows that he prefers to work on his own (unlike everyone's favorite monochrome moody boy), which makes sense considering that he comes alone to the library when you fight him, he may belong to a one-man office (which is the closest a fixer can do to be fully independent, as far as we are aware).

His keypage story also fits this more serious and analytical personality but not much of it is particularly noteworthy from a character analysis perspective, it doesn't say much that you couldn't notice from his combat lines anyway.

Another important factor to me and to contrast him to liwei is... okay, this may be the fact that he's a solo fight and he is, pressumably, an independent fixer, so he's not titled as a member of a particular organization, instead his title (for him, his reception, his keypage and his book) is "dong hwan, the grade 1 fixer", which i mean, again, is most likely just so we dont fight this guy with zero context on who he is and what hes even doing in the library in his own is he stupid? but i like to imagine that the in universe explaination is that he has tied his perception of himself and his own self worth to his grade, to the point in which using both his name and grade is what comes naturally to him when introducing himself, since books are essentially physical manifestations of the soul, then it just makes sense then that his book will give both his name and grade the same importance. This may come from a need to compensate for something else and i actually like to imagine that's the case because it adds yet another layer of parallels with liwei (source: trust me).

Another point is... remember that I mentioned how food was a very consistent thing in the full stops' likes and dislikes sections in the artbook? this point is also not relevant but dong hwan is frequently assumed to be the owner of that pub that shows up at that short side story about roland and angelica which i never watched because i Literally Can Not Care about angelica sorry, but, hey, it's a cute detail, i think he should cook for the full stops.

I feel like there's something to be said about dh's red eyes because in pjm when a character has red eyes you know that means one thing: they will be a big deal, but dong hwan, other than looking incredibly fucking cool and carrying me through the snow queen suppression (FUCK THE SNOW QUEEN ALL MY HOMIES HATE SNOW QUEEN) and star of the city tier 1 (thank you dong hwan i love you dong hwan)… he is rather unremarkable on the grand scheme of things, he's a general reception so you don't even need to defeat him to beat the game, and he only serves to give us some insight on who the fuck was the vermillion cross, and even then he does a terrible job at explaining who he was other than "well, he was a guy i guess" and honestly, the relevance of both liwei and dong hwan is ALSO an important factor in these parallels, as with one being the guy who introduces the concept of colors and the other being the guy who introduces one particular color fixer by casually mentioning being friends with him, both feel like characters who would be much more narratively important in any other story, but here they... aren't.

4.- Summarizing Parallels

Aka the part you may want to skip to if you don't care about me analyzing characters with little background info about them.

So, basically a list of personality (and background, i guess) traits they have in common and how they're different:

Both characters are putting some sort of facade, with liwei trying to act serious and stoic so he's taken seriously while dong hwan... i dont think he even knows what the facade he's putting even is, he's been putting an act for so long that his mask became his true self

In both characters' cases, the first impression they give isn't really the kind of person they truly are (in lw's case this is a deliberate choice and in dh's case i assume that's just the type of person he is), HOWEVER, while liwei acts serious and analytical (and to some extent he is), his true self is far more emotional and prone to form deep bonds with people, while dong hwan has a more passionate, smug and cheerful external attitude but he's much more serious and levelheaded deep down

Both characters have different, conflicting views about their grades, however these differences ultimately lead to both of them being able to treat each other as equals, or as close to that as possible in the city, i feel like liwei can see dong hwan as someone of worth so to speak for reasons unrelated to his grade, while dong hwan does see liwei as a good person (well, good is a subjective term specially in a place like the city) and far better at teamwork than most people in the city, in a way both value something in the other that the other never stopped to consider "hey this is actually a good thing i have"

Both characters are (pressumably?) trying to compensate over something, with liwei putting his professional and formal act to compensate for his sentimental self while dong hwan puts a strong emphasis on his high grade for... who knows, really, i just like this parallel being there because i think it adds a lot

Both have problems forming relationships, with liwei being a generally unpleasant person but being capable of forming deep, meaningful relationships with the people capable of seeing through it, while dong hwan is a charismatic guy liked by almost everyone he's met, but whose relationships tend to be shallow

Not really a personality thing but both characters have a thing for being remarkably unremarkable guys, dong hwan is obviously forgotten by most ruina playes because he's a general reception and the biggest impression liwei leaves in most players is "OH SHIT HE HAS A GUN", even though both are pretty intentionally dessigned with the intention of making them look cool however ive very rarely come across full stop or liwei fans (by which i mean people who like them particularly instead of "actually the entire pjm cast is cool and that includes them) and dong hwan fans are.... yeah, i think ive met like, 4 of them at most (thanks guys i owe you my life)

Something about their combat styles including their passives, liwei's only visible passive is called Concentration and gives him extra strenght for the first turn of a fight, after which he relies in the fact that his attacks weaken the enemy, so he comes off as the sort of guy who prefers to keep his distance and figure out the opponent's weak spot(s) (something he canonically is good at doing) to keep an upper hand at combat, however despite this he's still lacking in both strenght and technique, being only a grade 4 (which i mean let's be real the grades go from 9 to 1 and i feel like a majority of fixers are in the lower grades so he's still pretty much above average but he isnt doing all the cool shit you see the stronger characters do, because that's not the kind of character he is). On the other hand dong hwan's passives have much more cooler sounding names (Fervor, Carver of Scars, Toughness...), all of them focused on either inflicting bleed (status ailment that gradually makes the opponent lose hp)/buffing him against enemies with bleed or buffing him as he gains emotion levels, and his focus is just inflicting bleed like crazy, as well as delivering harder blows against people with bleed, prioritizing raw damage over strategy (but likely being able to figure out an opponent's weaknesses as well, brute strenght alone are most likely not enough to get you far in a world where the powerful people are INSANELY strong bc physical enhancements are commonplace)

I feel like in a way both admire each other, liwei admires dong hwan's capacity to keep a cool head at all times when at work and not letting his feelings have too much weight over his desicions, but dong hwan admires how honest liwei is about himself as well as his capacity to work in a team taking in consideration what will be best for the team as a whole even if it's perjudicial for him in particular.

In Conclusion

Your honor, two of them

[pianocat939]

Could we please get more of the yandere rottmnt with a younger sibling reader?

Sure! I've been kinda laughing for a while now over some random shitposting haha.

Tw: mention of murder, overprotective behaviour, controlling behaviour, crack and fluff

Some Hcs with Yandere Turtles with Younger Sibling MC

(MC is a turtle mutant for those who don't know)

✦Ramona✦

As we all know, he's the mama of the group. That solo mission episode where Mikey got babied at times? Yeah take that but amp it up.

He likes to carry you around just so he knows where you are and what you're doing. He especially does this if you're in the Hidden City.

Works together with Mikey and Donnie to have a nutrition management system. Primarily because he has a habit of spoiling you.

Bedtime at 10. No questions asked.

"No, you are not going to stay up until 3 AM giggling at videos on social media. Now, bed."

Asian kids, you know how your mom/dad just walks in and randomly gives you cut-up fruits? That's him. Gives you a hug when he leaves.

You are not allowed to touch hot foods/containers, let big bro handle it.

✦Le' bottomsworth✦

The spoiler/rule breaker brother ig.

You need to buy/get something but aren't allowed to leave? He has you covered, just say the word and he's sassily homosexual walking over there.

Teaches you sword art when you guys are free. Lets you win before going in for the "kill".

If you can't sleep bcs it's too early/insomnia then he'll know. He teleports or pokes a head through and keeps you company.

"Yeah so um. Do you have any dirt on Donnie? I need something good to attack him with."

You guys break rules together. It pisses both Raph and Donnie.

Texts you memes at 3 AM with 13 emojis alongside.

If you ever speak about a friend he'll get jealous real quick. He'll start interrogating you and makes up his mind to frame them somehow.

He teaches you self-defense yet does everything to ensure he does most of the actual fighting. He's not risking it.

✦Da Hermione Granger but in Purple✦

Builds you a protective shell whether you like it or not. You will wear it at all times other than sleeping. Oh did I mention there's a camera on the back side?

I know siblings aren't supposed to have favorites but Donnie will have a personal beef meter with Leo. (Right? I'm an only child so idk)

"I'm the favorite. Why else would they come to me every day? Leo, you stand nothing against me."

Tries to teach you about his tech, not only because it's his special interest but so he can brag he's the better parental-brother (oh and favorites).

Loves playing video games with you.

If he doesn't like certain media on your phone/devices he'll eliminate them. Including some of the memes Leo sent.

Shares his playlist like it's the last thing on earth to do.

If you like an interest in something and he notices it he'll buy/invent stuff.

✦Mi Left Gripper✦

Aww, it's your twin. Welp time to activate clingy af.

He whines if he isn't in the same room as you, to the point Raph and Leo have to pry him off.

Loves cooking your favorite meals! It's his way of showing that he loves you so much and that everybody else should burn away.

Draws you a lot too. If you're an artist he likes exchanging art styles, portraits, anything really.

Freaks the fuck out if sees even the slightest inconvenience in front of you.

"OMIGOSH! YOU STUBBED YOUR TOE! DONNIE, EMERGENCY CALL!"

Do you like fashion? If so, please exchange outfits with him so he can take the clothing to his secret shrine of his adorable twin!

Will jump on top of you to wake you up.

✦All✦

No leaving the lair without a trusted member of the family.

Friends can only be friends after background checks and approval.

Daily head pats are a must.

——————————————————

That was really on crack ok. Do you guys like the names I chose? I used all my brain cells for "Mi Left Gripper".

- Celina

[bubacorn]

infodump on sleep token :D i wanna learn more ab the boys

i'm so sorry, this has been sitting in my drafts for way too long gods, i'm definitely not the right person to ask, so this is gonna be more of a shitpost with my ramblings

okay, so, somehow this is all the same person and he (co-)wrote some of the most fucked-up [affectionate] music I've ever heard. i think Vessel is a great example that you don't have to be perfect just because you're a performer, you can let people see rawness (without ever seeing the real you, mind you), because they'll be able to connect to you based on your shared emotions. being human is scary, it's messy and complicated, but Sleep Token's music makes it feel more okay. there is something about hearing their discography and being able to connect on some level to the music and the lyrics, then seeing them perform that is truly incredible

i am both awed by and afraid of II. he is so visibly dedicated to his craft and he makes it look so easy. his drum parts are immaculate, Sleep Token's music made me focus more on the drums, and it makes me want to try drumming. also, love his gestures, his emotions and how he's the (not so) quiet backbone of the band. he deserves all the recognition and praise and more

i bet III gives great hugs, i don't know why, he just gives me that vibe. another thing that's great to see with this band is the members genuinely having fun on stage, both just playing their music and interacting and jamming with each other. i don't think i would like it if III screamed at me, but i love it when he hypes the crowd and how he is so unapologetically himself, jumping, kicking and bothering Vessel when he plays the piano

thinking about IV from a few years ago hiding at the side of the stage and standing in place and IV dancing to The Summoning with jingle bells last December. dad dance IV, reindeer IV, unicorn IV. IV doing vocals for Rain (hope we can hear more of that in the future) and Vore. his stage presence is so chill but super cool at the same time. i definitely don't have the voice or the confidence for it, but i would love to be able to just let my voice out like him and look so effortlessly full of rizz

this really wasn't an infodump, i'm very sorry about that. it turns out i can't ramble about them without concrete prompts/questions (or it might be the sleep deprivation). either way, thank you for the ask, i hope you're doing okay! 💜 if you would like actual useful info about the eepies i can try and point you in the right direction to the wonderful people of ST tumblr

[creativebrainrot]

Open Journal Entry - New Years (2023)

okay so i canNOT be coherent but fuck theres a lot on my mind right now.

this year was the worst fucking year of my life- it's atLEAST in the top 3.

We faced near-homelessness, awful food insecurity, the death of two beloved pets, the death of our abuser, of 20+ years, after he had only been out of our lives for two/three years at that point, and he did it to himself.

Our car broke down, our debt got worse, our abuser's family tried to take out home from us, they were such cunts. We had been trying to sell our house all year, we didn't succeed until a month ago.

I lost my first ever cat and it still hurts that she might be here right now if we had only had more money saved. She had a great life but I wasn't ready to let go of her, and I don't think losing BK will ever stop hurting. I miss her sweet little face so much. I miss her sweet little chirps and her silliness and just her presence so fucking much. it's agonizing. I miss her.

This year was one in four awful fucking years.

I don't know if 2023 was worse than 2022 for me. They feel like the same year. It was fucking awful.

But.

Last december, I forced myself to reach out. I made myself make a little "hey does this fandom have any guilds or discord servers for/by gw2blr?" post before I went to sleep for the night. I made myself reach out right before I had to sleep so that I couldn't panic and take it back.

It was one of the best decisions I've ever made for myself. I made my first ever friends from that decision. In fact the person (hi silv ily silv (/platonic)) who invited me to the gw2 server I hold so dear (hi slei ily slei and stuu ily stu /platonic kissy ur forehead) Is one of my closest friends now.

I have, a lot of issues. with trust and self-love and self-worth and I still struggle so much with thinking im not good enough and that everyone will find someone better etc etc I've made insanely good progress AND i have never before had people in my life that I feel like I know I can trust with myself. i am staring directly at my good friends Silvesi and Wynn/Straywyvern. shoutout to you to Specifically.

AND

im throwing affection directly at all of my friends. sorry im just like this not sorry receive affection for the new year CUNTS-

I absolutely love talking with Silv & Wynn & Del, you motherfuckers understand me on a very specific and unique autistic level ily and i love talking to you and infodumping to you and shitposting with you etc etc we need to be more insane with eachother more often beloved friends etc etc my besties <3

I've met so many people who while im not as close with them I love and am so fucking happy i met them and got to be friends with them regardless. lieflet, stu, slei, mabi, dot, lynx, fox oh my god theres so many of you.

youre so creative, kind, fun, chill, I feel safe with you and I love being stupid with you and im so glad I met the lot of you.

I've met so many fucking artists I admire so much through slei's gw2 server and that server is so relaxed and fun and chill I miss being able to hang out with you all in game. "your idols are your peers" lives in my head rent free as quote because its so true and I love. I Love.

im rlly hoping this next year my dad and I can fucking relax. for TWO minutes. oh my god.

I miss being able to relac. I miss feeling safe. I miss, so much. But not the last four years, and not that shit house I grew up in.

What I look forward to is pestering my besties more and more as I become more and more confident in myself and what others seem to see in me. I can't see it, but I'm gonna try and trust the words you say to me more and more.

Even if I end up being right, my worst fears come true, eventually. I'm gonna put in the effort like this is "forever" because we deserve to try the best for ourselves Right Now.

here's to the new year At The Very Least not getting WORSE.

[leopardom]

i thought i wouldn't end up making one of those sappy posts before the end of 2023 but here we are i guess

what i wanna say in advance is a huge thank you, and that i'm sorry

this year has been a nightmare for me and i can't stress that word enough. i won't get into details, if you follow me you may have seen some occassional rant posts. long story short though, i'm ending 2023 being mentally exhausted af and even though i'm not in my most optimistic mood, i hope 2024 will not as shitty as 2023

as of my tumblr presence, there have been some changes. i jumped from one fandom to another without completely leaving the bc fandom. i'm just not that much in the mood anymore. maybe this will change once the new album is out? we'll see 👀 and jumping to another fandom means that i lost contact with so many people from the bc fandom. i promise you i didn't do this on purpose and i don't hate or stopped liking any of you. it just... things got weird and a bit too much in my head and now idk how to keep contact without looking extremely weird in this fandom

anyway! entering another fandom has been weird not only in means of interests but also in means of communication. ever since i remember my tumblr activity in any fandom, i always tried to interact as much as possible with other accounts and talk with people, whether that was via posts or messages. in the jo fandom i feel like i have kinda failed that

i'm aware that i post a lot and i'm probably everywhere with the content updates and the gifs. and that may be annoying to some people. and i understand it, i don't like it but i understand it and i wanna apologise for being... all over the place yet not really reaching out to anyone in the fandom or building any kind of online friendship

idk if there's an accurate explanation for the way i feel about this so i'll put it in the best words possible: i wanna make jokes and have fun in here and exchange random messages or mentions in posts and talk shit or not about jo etc, but i feel like my social anxiety (both online and offline) has passed any limit i had put to it until now that i end up thinking it's actually wrong to interact with anyone in this fandom. because everyone has already connected with some people and have built a specific line of interests and you all seem so fucking cool for someone who is as insecure and scared to talk as me so i end up hiding behind my gifs, shitposts and content updates in hopes that people will like me or at least aknowledge i exist in this fandom. and again, that's all on me, there's no one to blame for this behaviour but me and my fucked up mind (which got even more fucked up in the past year). so idk, i feel like i wanna apologise for this, for being like that

however, no matter the anxiety, i must admit that the jo tumblr fandom was actually my escape when things in real life got bad bad. i've spent hours scrolling through the jo and kaarija hashtags in hopes of seeing something unhinged and funny to lift my mood and you know what? i found something every single time. and that was more than nice. if it wasn't for all of you being as funny and crazy (in a positive way) as you are, i'd feel even worse. but every time i open the jo hashtag there's someone posting a wholesome thing or saying something unhinged like how many ways has Kris listed to kill Bojan in his sleep lmao

anyway i ended up writing a lot, this could easily be an entry to the journal that i don't keep but maybe should start keeping. if you read until this point, congratulations for going through all this ramble and i'm sorry

hope 2024 is gonna be a lot different than 2023 but in a good way this time. and i hope i get better and actually get to interact more with all of you great people 💕 and obviously i hope you all have a fantastic year ahead of you 💖

[heavencasteel420]

I was feeling a bit stuck on my main WIPs, so for fun I wrote a couple of lines/paragraphs for each of my other story ideas (the proper ones where I have a general sense of the story's shape, not the shitpost ideas like "Chrissy turns into a car?"). Here are the ones for my Cute/Normal story ideas:

Long

Nancy Wheeler Can't Win (no UD AU, Nancy-centric)

Sometimes, Nancy thought her life would be easier if she were dating Jason Carver instead. Not better, necessarily. She didn't like Jason nearly as much as Steve; he was kind of pompous and, although he technically looked way more like Tom Cruise, she couldn't imagine ever finding him as sexy as she did Steve. She couldn't help but notice, though, that Chrissy Cunningham didn't have to be one person on Saturday night and another on Monday morning.

Life During Wartime (companion to above, centers on Will and Jonathan)

"I can't believe I'll be the last one to get girlfriend," Mike lamented as he and Will biked home from school. It was a perfect September afternoon, neither too hot nor too cold, and the first leaves were turning yellow. "First Lucas and Max, then Dustin and Suzie, now you and Megan. I'm going to die a virgin."

"We could all still die virgins," Will pointed out. "I don't think Lucas and Max are doing it yet, and Megan and I definitely aren't. And we're not even sure if Suzie is real."

Horse Girl (Stoncy, summer 1985)

The thing about being an asshole, Steve thought, as he listlessly scooped butter pecan ice cream for a couple of sixty-something ladies, was that it took a long time to catch up with you. For instance: the thing he'd spray-painted on the theater marquee about Nancy almost two years ago. Sitting on the hood of his car outside the 7-11, he'd resigned himself to her shunning him forever. He'd even gone to apologize to Jonathan first so he could put off seeing the cold disgust on her face. Then, one month later, she'd taken him back, accepting his apology as a matter of course. Maybe that should've been his first clue that something was wrong.

It's All a State of Mind (AU where Hopper-Byers siblings are psychic carnies/confidence artists in the 1930s)

"Heather likes you," El pointed out a few days later, after they'd settled in. They were in the dining tent, digging into some beef stew. "You could get close to her."

"Keep eating and forget what Murray said," Jonathan told her, although he couldn't summon any harshness to back it up. This was the best meal that he or the kids had eaten in months. "Heather puts up with me. She doesn't want to get close to anyone, either."

Heather Holloway was an aerialist, a pert dark-haired girl who'd joined the circus to get away from a home in some ways worse than the one that Lonnie had provided him and Will. She was friendly to Jonathan, but that was probably because he'd shown no interest in getting inside her drawers.

"So you admit it," Will said smugly. "We wouldn't mind if you got married, you know. So long as we liked her.

From the High to the Low to the End of the Show (S1 AU where the teens are in their late twenties)

"Doesn't it piss you off?" Fred asked her. "That he can just waltz in and get a job because he's 'so talented,' when the rest of us had to work hard and do it the right way?" "Eyes on your own paper, Fred," Nancy said, in a chipper tone that she knew would annoy him. She agreed with him, to a point; she never would have been hired at the Hawkins Post if she'd gone to night school instead of IU. At the same time, she'd heard the other guys say that she'd only gotten the job out of pity. Fred wasn't one of them, but she was running on three hours of sleep an half a bagel, so she didn't feel like being nice. "Why would Holloway care about college? Byers has something he wants and he's willing to pay for it."

Medium

Tomorrow May Not Be Your Day (pre-S4 Jancy breakup, probably no Vecna, eventual Jargyle)

"I'm sure you'll work it out," Mom says. She smiles at him anxiously, and he knows what he should do. He should mumble agreement, accept this bit of comfort. Pay her back with white lies of his own: that the distance isn't really a problem, that she didn't kind of screw him over by moving them all across the country. That there's no reason to worry about him, because he's going to figure things out with Nancy and somehow make Emerson happen. "Yeah?" he asks instead. "What if I don't? What if this is it?" It doesn't come out as a plea for reassurance, either. That would be humiliating, maybe even futile, but at least everyone would understand what he was doing. Instead, it comes out as a challenge.

Let the Broken Hearts Stand (companion to above, Nancy's first year at college, eventual Nancy/Carol)

"Look, I was friends with Steve for, like, ten years before he ditched me and Tommy," Carol says, taking a drag off her cigarette, "but he was definitely the bigger asshole in your relationship." Nancy laughs, startled. Carol grins uncertainly, then offers her the cigarette. She accepts. "Like, whatever, you're a totally embarrassing drunk, and you didn't have the balls to dump him until you were sure you had Byers eating out of your pussy, but--" "Jesus Christ, Carol," Nancy said, turning bright red, but Carol waved her off. "Fine. Va-gi-na. Lady garden. Cavern of feminine wonders. Whatever Emily Post says to call it." Carol cackled as Nancy struggled to look disapproving. "My point is, he was also a fucking prick."

How Will You Make It on Your Own? (Stonathan no UD college AU, the context is Jonathan and Samantha have broken up):

Because all the theater freaks were shunning him, Jonathan sat with Barb and Nancy at lunch. "You'll get back together," Barb said glumly. It was unclear whether she was trying to reassure him but was too stressed out about Mathletes to manage a cheerful tone, or if she was predicting an outcome she disapproved of. "You'll ignore her, she'll call and sort of say sorry, and, because she apologized first, you'll fall all over yourself saying that it's all your fault, and that she's right that you should both move to New York City and live in a condemned building and wear garbage bags instead of clothes." Well. That answered his question. "I don't think that's going to happen," he said, contemplating the peanut butter cracker he'd spent the last half hour eating. "It feels different this time."

Oh, I'm Bound to Go (companion to Drive All Night)

Will wasn't sure who figured it out first, him or Mom. When the money first started coming in--so much money, enough for Mom's medicine and Will's new shoes and more food than he could ever remember having--he asked why they couldn't just live with Jonathan in the city. Surely Indianapolis had enough piecework and odd jobs for the two of them. "He's living in a boarding house, sweetheart," she said, keeping her eyes on the chicken she was cleaning instead of his face. "There's no room for us." Maybe she'd known it was a lie all along. But Will understood Jonathan better than anyone, knew how his lies looked and sounded. On paper, he couldn't hear the too-bright home or watch him disappear behind his eyes, but the wrongness came through all the same.

Short

I Know It Breaks Your Heart (Tommy-centric, mostly future fic)

Tommy didn't need anyone to think that he was smart except for Carol, who understood without explanation that he didn't have to act like a nerd or a circus freak to prove that he was clever. It just felt shitty, sometimes, that Steve clearly thought of him as a dumbass. Steve, who had no bullshit meter and maintained a B-minus average with more effort than he liked to admit. It was annoying, but, more than that, it struck Tommy as greedy. Steve was taller, more handsome, more impressive on the court and field. He put people at ease. He could've let Tommy have something.

Raised on Promises (El's life in California, gen)

No matter what Joyce says, and no matter how nice Will and Jonathan are about it, El still feels embarrassed by the toys. Jonathan doesn't play with anything, except sometimes for the hacky sack Argyle gave him; he just listens to tapes and smokes. And maybe that's because he's almost grown up, but Will is her age and he gave away all his D&D stuff to Erica before they moved. He does art now, which isn't playing. Grown-ups do art, too, sometimes even as a job. The girls at school don't play with toys, either. They have fun like she and Max did last summer: dressing up and messing around with makeup and hanging out at the mall. Only the girls here aren't as nice, and Max isn't here to show her how to act her age. So she finds herself building little towns out of blocks and shuffling around a bunch of plastic dolls.

The P is for Perfection (and You Know That We Are Freaks) (Joyce doesn't move the family to California and El becomes a cheerleader)

"I heard she was raised in a cult," Amanda whispered to Chrissy, as the freshman girls lined up. "Chief Hopper knocked up some hippie and only found out when she died a couple years ago. And then he left her with Joyce Byers when he died. Not really an improvement, if you ask me." "Shush," Chrissy said. She was already getting a headache and the yelling hadn't even started. "You don't want the other girls to hear." Amanda muttered that it was common knowledge, but Chrissy tuned her out and studied Jane Hopper. She was on the tall side, with a lean and strong-looking frame. No flyer, but she could be a backspot or a base. She had curly brown hair pulled back in a scrunchy and a pretty, guileless face. She was dressed okay, in a baggy light purple sweatshirt and white leggings, but there was an air of offness about her.

[vintageshits]

wake up, babe, new raskolnikov inspired playlist by this dumbass vintageshits just dropped 🔥

while we discuss wether or not rodya loves sofia semyonovna (jk, i don't discuss, I just shitpost), my mind gets lost in delusions. delusions where I date rodya, and I fix him, ofc. why? because I ordered a copy of "the idiot" to keep going with my dostoevsky year (from this september until September 2024 i'm planning to read nothing but dostoevsky...good luck, mental health), but it won't arrive until october 25th, so right now i'm stucked with my rodya/crime and punishment brainrot, so yeah...i made this playlist as a result of it.

SOME LYRICS YOU MAY FIND IN THIS SILLY ASS PLAYLIST!!

Maybe I could save you from your sins So, kiss the sky and whisper to Jesus My, my, my, you found this, you need this Take a deep breath, baby, let me in

You lose your way, just take my hand You're lost at sea, then I'll command your boat to me again Don't look too far, right where you are, that's where I am I'm your man

from mariner's apartment complex by lana del rey

One word from you and I would Jump off of this Ledge I'm on Baby

Tell me "don't" So I can Crawl back in

from first love/late spring by mitski

Time away Tearing me apart I wear it on my heart, I do Can't sleep I'm wasted wasted Can't stand still I'm shaking over you

Time away I really need my fix Cause you got me so sick I know That I'm burning for you

from day go by by karen o

anywayyyy, besties

i hope you like this playlist, i will keep adding songs these days <3333

I still have some pendant posts from some tags you tagged me in (sound repetitive), I will answer them sooooon, I'm just a bit...let's say it, in my raskolnikov era, I'm literally like this right now...

BYE NOW <3

[klonoadreams]

Is scarnoa gonna do all 3 paths? Of so which ones does she prioritize?

Oooh, that's actually an interesting question -let me go on a long ass rambling because this is all relevant (I'm honest i'm totally normal about this lmao)

So the thing about this, is that the most OPTIMAL path, is to go in a specific order based on levels.

Katy is the first one you should typically start with, before trekking over yonder to the east.

Scarnoa doesn't have any specific priority beyond the Gym Badges (though do keep in mind that she DOES get distracted often, so oops), but uhh, I will be tweaking things so that she ends up having more reason why she keeps going all over the place. She went first with Katy after taking a detour and ending up in the marsh that Arven found her at (because she was looking for FLAMIGO), because he was looking for a Pokemon to take down Klawf - he can't fight them with a Skwovet, lmao, but then got a call for Arven afterwards (since he was training up that Shellder he caught), and decided "OKAY!!!" and boom, Titan down. Checks map "Oh, gym is near, let's go!!"

by the by, in case anyone needs a confirmation of where you can catch Shellder:

You can find some in the area by that marsh where Flamigo like to pop up. How did Scarnoa end up there so early???

girlbossed (backwards jump LETS GOO jk jk) too hard and ended up someplace she wasn't supposed to be so early (Arven isn't supposed to be there, but obviously, we have to admit that he has SOME badges to ensure that the Pokemon he catches don't start disobeying him - some of them DO give him issues, but it's not so bad as it WOULD"VE been WITHOUT the badges. I like to think of these things as being strength checks that make POkemon go "yeah, I'm down following you, let's go kick ass")

Wins another badge, gets a call from Arven AGAIN, who is most likely far too eager by now, because something changed with his Mabosstiff, so Scarnoa is ON THE WAY (forgetting that she can mcfucking call a taxi vhfelkjbvklfb), anyways Arven's just "what the fuck, that was like five days ago, WHERE WERE YOU I THOUGHT YOU DIED"

(an exaggeration, but it's concerning that she wasn't answering his texts. First thinks its his rotom being a brat - no, Scarnoa just spoils her Rotom too much)

(but also, Arven has LITERALLY had to fish her out of the mud when their paths crossed in that marsh - literally just saw her fall face first like SPLAT, while her Koraidon watches with a guilty look on their face - he now questions her self preservation skills)

because her Rotom kept leaving her phone to eat food - they got distracted by Mesagoza food on the way back to the west gate. Also Scarnoa keeps forgetting she has a dorm, so it's the outdoors life for most of them (They OBVIOUSLY have rest stops scattered throughout the place, around the Pokemon Centers, where you can shower and just wash clothes vhejkvhf jSHHHH)

anyways after ghosting Arven for five days straight, BOOM, big birdy down and then Cassiopeia, getting impatient because every so often, they check on Scarnoa, and she's like...either eating dirt because she SUCKS at stopping on Koraidon or just GETTING DISTRACTED BY FOOD, GOD DAMN HOW MUCH DO YOU EAT.

And just, "You're by this Team Star Base, if you want access to your social media accounts to continue shitposting your misadventures, you got a week to kick that boss's ass"

Scarnoa: Lmao, okay.

She goes over a week anyways because she kept getting distracted and sleeping in. But she still makes it to the base. Cassiopeia has to try harder after that, because now that she KNOWS Scarnoa's Rotom Phone is like SUPER casual after getting spoiled to all hell, she needs to try different tactics. Like "no more wifi for you if you don't make it here - don't make me do it"

and while Scarnoa WOULD forget, her Rotom Phone won't and will start picking up the pace lmaooo.

Anyways Cassiopeia has to literally REMIND Scarnoa that there is a Team Star base by one of the fly points she has registered to her phone, and tells her to use it "PLEASE, for your own sake too."

Anyways that's Scarnoa's first experience with the Squawkabilly Taxi and while unpleasant, she got to pet the birds :V

And while going straight to Mela WOULD be her top priority, Scarnoa got distracted, lost (literally cannot read a fucking map) and ended up in Levincia, where she's all "oh hey, a gym."

Cassiopeia (*cough*Penny*cough) eating ramen in her room, just catching up on anime, when she gets notifications that Iono is streaming another Gym Battle and WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

anyways badge get, Scarnoa's getting popular, with Cassiopeia immediately seeing some red flags and QUICKLY moderating her followers on SIGHT. (SHE NEEDS SCARNOA DAMMIT)

Anyways Clive's the one who drags Scarnoa to Mela that time. Which is hilarious. But also, "Please, I beg of you - TAKE HER TO THIS BASE. She keeps getting LOST."

And oops, Cassiopeia's a little late there, because Clavell was out and about, and after seeing Scarnoa get her third gym badge, after taking down Giacomo, he's like "alright you, that's enough hooky for you. Time to go back to school."

Cassiopeia wondering why they don't just give Scarnoa the equivalent of zoom classes that she's taking. Anyways, as soon as Scarnoa is mcfucking done with her remedial classes, and stuff, her ass is back to Mela and that is REALLY when Arven calls up again, so TIME TO TAKE DOWN A WORM.

And the hilarious thing is, Scarnoa was going to book it IMMEDIATELY to Atticus, but Cassiopeia went "HELL NO, GET ANOTEHR BADGE - idk, Kofu or some shit. Atticus will literally kick your teeth in."

meanwhile Nemona's just dropping by every so often for a battle, somewhat intrigued that Scarnoa is taking the recommended path instead of doing what she did, and strong arming her way through everything and that's how Kofu was her second badge right after Katy...and how Larry ended up as her third badge. :V (she got Brassius and Iono afterwards, and somehow, by chance, she corrected her path with Ryme, Tulip, and Grusha after getting a tip from Geeta, seeing as she has HEARD from Larry about his unconventional challenger)

Nemona: You sure do know your stuff about the recommended path!!

Scarnoa: The what.

(fun fact, I ended up in Tulip's area completely by chance after I was on a fucking around and collecting items spree and oop)

Anyways, again - Scarnoa's priority is badges, but she keeps getting yanked from one place to the next. Eventually, she does start prioritizing Titans at some point, but she then uses her badges to ensure she's strong enough to go into areas that were giving her difficulty...after some "gentle persuasion" from Cassiopeia too, helping her out in that sense because Scarnoa is NOWHERE near ready to take on any of the bosses after Atticus.

(keep in mind, Scarnoa rarely loses, and when she loses, she usually gets her shit kicked in if it's against Wild Pokemon, like Koraidon HAS had to pick her up and GTFO out of there)

(even Arven has to convince her otherwise, since they got their shit kicked in by Tatsugiri and Dondozo)

(he is still very touched that she wants to help him, but his heart honestly can't take anymore risks after one of them NEARLY drowned - Tatsugiri/Dondozo is a deadly duo :V)

[autisticempathydaemon]

Hello there! I'd love to have a match based on your opinion. I love your content!

-> Song I'm fixated on | Repeat Until Death - Novo Amor – "I can't seem to let myself leave you / But I can't breathe anymore / I can't seem to not need to need you / And I can't breathe anymore" (Anchor too, but this one has been more on repeat).

-> Enneagram type | Type three. Eight and six were the next ones though!

-> Imaginary friend | I don't really remember much about it, but when I was a teenager, I remember having a lot of OCs as imaginary friends. They were all interesting, and my favorite one was one named Ciel. He was tall, lanky, and really serious. His hair was white with a red strand, and his eyes were purple. He had pale skin and a vitiligo stain on his right eye. He always wore dark clothes. Mostly a dark, emo style. I miss him.

-> Go way to sleep | I start with audios (mostly Guy or David's playlists) but I end up listening to my sleep playlist. It has calm songs or just songs I feel like listening to.

-> Name change | yes! I don't really know why I chose my current name, and if I had a reason at all. If I did, I forgot. I used to have an oc who I called that name, though, and I believe I liked it so I took it from him once I decided to change my name. It was the last time I changed my name, as I went through a lot of them before.

-> Favorite audio | Currently, I'd say Guy's stolen hoodie audio. Either that one, or the friendsgiving audio with the damn boys.

-> Least favorite rboy | I'd say Vega or Blake. I'm sure their storylines are cool, but I'm not personally interested in them. (I haven't listened to Vega's storyline because of this). No hate to them, because they're really cool characters, they just bore me.

-> Favorite Show/Movie | not a book guy, but I can easily tell you all the plots of each episode from The Mentalist. Is not a super popular show, but God do I love it. As for movies, I'd say 'Mary Poppins Returns' and 'The Pacifier' are two movies I can say by heart. I've seen them countless times and I never get bored of them.

-> Platonic rboy | I absolutely adore Asher, but with him, I don't really see myself with. He's amazing, and I'd love to have him as a friend because from what we've seen, he's loyal and utterly amazing, but not really my type.

-> Comfort topic | Probably redacted, or talking about what I did that day. When I talk with my boyfriend before bed, we always end up just talking about how our day was and what are we planning for tomorrow, and I often start telling him stuff about whatever audio comes to my mind. I also like doing random silly games, such as asking questions, or opinions on something.

-> Comfort drink | I don't have a car, and I don't really buy drinks outside. But I do love chamomile tea and Sprite. I'd say Sprite is my go-to, and chamomile is a good alternative if I don't have a sprite. I also adore apple juice, but not all brands, just a specific one and that one only.

-> Favorite playlist | Don't really know if it counts, but I can't stop listening to PORTALS lately. I'm obsessed with the album and I can't leave it for a second. I do have a playlist though, it has a few songs I'm obsessed with (ex. What are we gonna do now - Indigo De Souza, Sex on Fire - Kings of Lion, Grocery Store - Cavetown, and so on!) And I absolutely adore that one too.

-> Guilty pleasure | Probably redacted, honestly. Or shitpost videos that literally don't make any sense and shouldn't be as funny as they are, but I die with them. I also love watching ts4 builders making different building challenges/houses.

-> Facts about myself | I'm a really stubborn guy, and sometimes I try to do every possible thing to fix a problem either than asking for help from someone who I know can easily help me fix it. I don't like bothering people with things I think I'm capable of solving, or even with things I know I can't. I like baggy clothes, and when I go shopping, you'll see me buying clothes based on the fabric rather than the pattern/color/style. The first thing I check about any clothing item is if I like the fabric of it. And if I don't, I won't buy it at all, no matter how much I like it. I like dogs, the color red, watching kid shows, and eating ice cream in excess. I'm scared of darkness, any kind of horror games/movies, bugs, and loud noises.

I hope that's enough! I really can't wait to see what you do with me. And I'm excited to reveal who I am once you do! It was super, super, super fun to write this down, so I'm already having tons of fun. Tysm!!

Type Threes (and Eights and Sixes actually) can be characterized by their stubborn, can-do, do-it-yourself attitude. They either, respectively, feel the need to prove themselves capable, feel it is their duty, or feel doing it themselves is the only way to get it done properly. This gives you major Smartass vibes that would be balanced well by having Aaron as a partner. 

Aaron, as an oldest child and a high-achieving professional, is wonderfully capable and dependable. That doesn’t mean he needs to be or is capable of keeping that up all the time, but it does mean you can rely on each other when the other isn’t feeling up to task. Your independent natures can balance one another, give you a safe place to land and lean should you need it. 

Also, he strikes me as the type of dude who adores a good, weekly crime procedural. Aaron is so cozy and domestic in his own special way; I could see y’all being very much at home, on the couch, in your jammies, watching a particularly favored episode of The Mentalist together. 

Song: 

If there is a load you have to bear/ That you can't carry/ I'm right up the road/ I'll share your load/ If you just call me

Again, depending on each other is a throughline I think works very well for the both of you. Also, we know Aaron’s a fan of classic country, so him liking some classic soul is not a big stretch of the imagination. (Oddly enough, this works really well for Aaron and Elliott’s relationship too, and ain’t that a kicker.) 

Runner-Ups:

Huxley would be a good contender given he’s dependable and reliable like Aaron. I also have this adorable image of him growing the chamomile for your tea which I can’t get out of my head. David is the above traits plus dog. There’s nothing quite so simply silly as pairing a dog person with a werewolf lol

Note: I'm sorry, you were supposed to get this, like, two days ago, but the tumblr app kept deleting this despite all the times I hit save. Thank you for being patient!

Want a match-up of your own? Read this post, and tell me about yourself! 💌

[always-outsider]

I really hope Vindicator Odin gets awakened

Welcome to my shitpost at midnight because I can't sleep.

Please keep scrolling. Don't waste your time on this post. I'm not in the right frame of mind. Insomnia is killing me. I'm making a mistake.

It has been bugging me from day one, and I cannot contain myself any longer:

I really hope they make Vindicator Odin awaken.

And why am I hoping for that? Well, just look at him—I mean, his character art. What do you see?

Too many wrinkles? No, that's not it. I'm not complaining about the wrinkles. Not at all. I'm complaining about his complexion. The combination of dark green, neon green, white, and gray has made for a very pale, dull, and feeble complexion. In other words, a very unhealthy aura. Often, when I look at my phone screen during Connect battles, his dull and sickly-looking avatar stands out so much that I can't help but notice. When I think in another language, such as Japanese, words like [暗い！] or [薄い！] frequently come to mind.

Another point I'd like to bring up is… his arms. It looks so thin!? Somehow?? Is it just me? Is it because of the wide sleeves of his robe? Or are they playing realism here? A skinny old man… Really Ateam? Muscle atrophy? Sarcopenia much? I look at his thin arms, and I want to cry. My heart aches, and my soul weeps. I feel so so sad for no reason. I'm getting crazy. This obsession is getting out of hand. It's beyond rationality.

I really hope he gets awakened just for the change in character art. I do not ask much; I only ask for a brighter complexion. （；へ：）At this point, he looks too sick and feeble; my heart can't take it.

Maybe I shouldn't whine about all this. I got lucky enough to be able to summon him. I should not ask for more.

[kissporsche]

tagged by @ahdriking thank you my love!!!!!

NAME: I usually go by Heist or Boots on the internet, and Gabrielle on the not-internet

SIGN: Capricorn (I don't know much about astrology but I feel like I should apologise)

HEIGHT: 5'8" ish

TIME: 8pm

BIRTHDAY: Early Jan

FAVOURITE ARTIST/BAND: I don't really follow artists/bands, I just listen to playlists and vibe. I guess if I was going to be EXCITED about an artist releasing new music it would be Hozier, Taemin or GOT7

LAST MOVIE: I watched chunks of The Greatest Showman when it was playing at the outdoor cinema in my last workplace

LAST SHOW: Watched the most recent Vice Versa and The Eclipse eps today!

WHEN I CREATED THIS BLOG: This blog? A few months ago when I realised Kinnporsche was going to completely consume my mind (I was correct). My main blog was made in 2010 (yikes)

WHAT I POST: 90% reblogs, occasionally what could GENEROUSLY be called meta, liveblogs and some shitposts

OTHER BLOGS: Just my main (@supernovasimplicity) if you like podcasts, cdramas, dnd and other random garbage... that's where that lives

DO I GET ASKS: EVERY NOW AND THEN I DO AND IT BRINGS ME SO MUCH JOY. LIKE ME???? YOU WANT MY OPINION ON A THING??????? ARE YOU SURE?????????? Never feel afraid to send me an ask I LOVE IT

AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP: 7 or 8 I guess?? It fluctuates i'll be honest

WHAT I'M WEARING: Red top and big wide trousers! I feel like I should admit that earlier I realised I owned all the clothing items necessary to closet cosplay Pete in the epilogue scene, so I did also wear that today

DREAM JOB: I am going to quote myself here: "I just want a job that gives me enough money to keep a roof over my head and doesn't make me hate myself". At the moment I work in museums, which is rad and i'd like to keep doing that

DREAM TRIP: OKAY SO I want to go to Petra in Jordan, Iceland and SAME @ahdriking I WANT TO DO A LOTR TOUR OF NEW ZEALAND SO BAD

FAVOURITE SONGS (and quotes from them, just for some spice): I CAN'T PICK FAVOURITES OKAY HERE'S MY TOP TEN ON REPEAT

I'm tagging @vegasandhishedgehog @solaarflaree @guzhu-furen @kerrikins @lelephantsnailand @agendratum feel free to do it if you want!

[sailortentacle]

Gonna start grouping shitpost-tier Golden Sun thoughts together in single posts, because even people who are interested in my playthrough probably don't want to see that many posts. (To be fair, I didn't expect to make this many posts.

We go around Vault...

Here's one hell of a cynical dog.

Isaac/Alex sees a roof with a hole in it, so of course he's going to insert himself.

Fight with the bandits was pretty decent, they're tougher in this patch than they typically are. Not much to say about that. I don't think we really needed to have Lunpa explained to us in the cutscene before the battle, considering that they talk about it and Hammet's kidnapping afterwards.

I mean... I guess it's not a huge discrepancy, but him leaving Ivan all alone in Vault (where people keep talking about how sorry they feel for him) and going straight up into thieves' territory almost feels a little...off, with his later characterization as a particular kind and wise ruler. I mean yes, I understand that the rod is important to Ivan's destiny, yes I understand Hammet was already robbed in Vault, yes I understand that they can't get back to Kalay. I don't know. It just feels weird to me.

Tee hee.

We go to the Goma Mountains and encounter a roadblock.

You know, I have a feeling that if he was Tyrell, he'd try setting the ivy on fire.

But Ivan joins, so it's all good. We actually go back to Vale and get some bread and Mind Read the villagers. Some people still want to believe in Felix.

Later, in Kolima:

That's the spirit! When life gives you lemons, make lemonade! ...Though I don't think he's the right kind of tree to grow lemons. And he has no arms to make it. Look, we're gonna cure him eventually, so it's all good.

I fight Tret first, because I know Saturos will kill me in this patch if I attempt to fight him first. I died the first time because he kept putting my party to sleep pretty much every turn. That's also on me, though, because I forgot about the elixirs in my inventory. The RNG was kinder to me on the second attempt.

:(

And in Imil...

Someone asked, so I'm going to explain the "Alex" thing. The first time I played I forgot there was another character with that name, and that's typically what I used to name male RPG characters. The absolute confusion this part of the game caused me was so memorable that it became my personal tradition to name Isaac that every playthrough.

...It feels slightly off, this time. I kind of wish I had stuck with Isaac. Anyway, image limit reached.

[thanatos-drive]

Dusk of the final day.

Less than 24 hours remian.

Copied from facebook.

Okay, I don't think sleeping will be happening.

I'll be driving to Penn to get my first Prolotherapy injections, in order for this to work I'll be needing to have them done over and over for the next couple of months, and that's just for A body part, so all together it's going to be a lot of shots, and a lot of pain inflammation.

Since I decided to go through with this a couple of weeks back, I've been trying to hunt down people with EDS who have had it and it's been a mixed bag of results. Those on whom it did work advise towards keep doing it even if it takes a couple of tries and upgrade to PRP (the really expensive one) as that seems to be more effective.

I'll be driving myself back after taking the shots, I was told against it but from what other people with EDS claim, it is possible, it's just going to hurt a lot, but that hurt is pretty much what we live in everyday (everyone told me the covid shots/booster would hurt and when I actually got it's not even a fraction of the pain I'm on a daily basis) so its possibly negligible. I don't think there's that much of a risk involved. If they were injecting my neck it would probably be an issue.

I want to say thank you to all the people who helped me with my gofundme, regardless of what happens next, the first round was covered thanks to your help.

Overall the analogy I'm giving myself is this is like chemo, or this is like insulin. It's something that could or could not work and it's something that I may have to keep doing to myself for the rest of my life.

There are so many stories I know about people with EDS who can't take care of themselves, I've been pretty vain and proud about it but I'm there already, I've been there for a while. I think it's probably a lot to think I could live by myself. But as stated in previous posts, I just need to survive a year. I could either move or find someone that's willing to room with me, but in the mean time I have to stay in Akron and finish my last year of school.

I wish I'd done this earlier and not as summer is about to end, a couple of bad things happened that mad me face facts. I am deluding myself into thinking I can manage without help, and without some sort of intervention (surgery, assisted devices, assisted living, prolo) I wished I'd decided towards this when I could still raise my arms or before I'd fallen down the stairs.

I thank to anyone who has kept up with my posts. I pretty much disappeared these last 4 years as this disease kept taking more and more away from me. I've become very low energy, easily fatigued, I'm not exaggerating when I say the lack of mental challenge in my life is making me dumb (look at my grammar), I've recently become familiar with the concept of brainfog and while I feel that's partially happening, I also think I'm legit getting dumber. I really am trying to make up for it, I've been afraid my lifespan has been affected along with so many other things, I've been treating this summer like a bucket list of things I wanted to do. I hope that if something does happen that I can leave more good memories than bad ones. And that what I've done to reconnect and talk more with some of you was good for you.

I have not been religious in a while, but I often think that even if you change your mind, smalls aspects of how you were raised still prevail. In saying this what I'm asking if that if you could throw some good wishes my way and hope that luck if on my side and I'm one of the people this works on, that would be appreciated.

I will need all the luck in the world to survive this year.

Thanks for putting up with my meme shitposting or my super emo messages.

[brianvan]

bleep bloop

how do I describe... anything... anymore...

(everything is fine. I'm just weirdly not used to writing a Tumblr post anymore. I write OTHER things but not this, and more importantly I don't READ Tumblr anymore so I don't have the mindset of being on here and writing for the medium, thus I don't really know what to write)

Ultimately I hate year-end stuff. I don't mind doing retrospectives or talking about personal experiences or pop culture any of the other months of the year, but I don't abide by the idea that December 31 (or any date in December) is the deadline for anything. Now that I'm feeling a little writers' block about writing anything, I'm realizing the "end of year" part of it is not fun for me! I mean, it's not going to get any better if I write this in March, but, the end of the year (another piss poor year!) was anticlimactic. And my life is boring. The things that amuse me are not boring, but my life? Happily boring. Dull by design. Steady, reliable, and sleep-inducing. I have a wife, I have a cat, I have a job.

I guess I used to flip through my Tumblr archive to see what I talked about during recent months. Twitter doesn't have that feature in the same way. So I'm kind of lost. There were a lot of DUNE shitposts throughout the year? DUNC

It's very unhelpful to think of life, nature, the entropy of the universe in this particular way & I'm sure if I reflected on it I could state it better but... COVID? The way so many people and institutions have reacted to it? It confirms people are fucking idiots & as a society we're kinda fucked. I think that's the overarching pop culture theme of the past two years. I don't know what you really do with that. It's not very entertaining. It's terrible #content. I don't mind that the world is melting down but we kind of need much better day-to-day content than the timeline alternating between "we need to reopen ASAP" and "OH MY GOD WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE BECAUSE OF THESE ANTIVAXXERS".

I think with all this bad content online about the pandemic & all the other stuff going to shit since 2016 or so, a lot of people glance at it and go "yeah I don't have time for this" and go right into the cat blogs. Which is why I have a cat blog. I'm providing a service! Skating to where the puck is going.

I'm in the middle of a very boring thing right now (moving nearby, eventually, but doing it slowly and methodically because there's so much of it) so that's probably why I'm looking back at 2021 and going "oh god, ugh, what are you actually doing with yourself" lol I should tell you why I am moving, how God unleashed the Ten Plagues of Egypt in our building basement (one at a time) & nobody was tending to it (each time) & I almost was trapped in a detonating building. Maybe it's not ENTIRELY boring from that angle. Anyway, I am doing the things that need to be done. They're not all fun things.

I did some fun things in 2021 though! It was a while back at this point for a lot of it, but... one night I was at a club until 2:30am! I went to a Genesis concert! I went to some Mets games! I GOT INTO CAMPING! I quit a job! Me and the wife got drunk in Boston! I set up a thing where I had five years of Bourbon County Stout releases saved up and we did a vertical (e.g. each year going in reverse) tasting! I rebuilt my bicycle to have a new groupset & it works great now! I think I played over 600 hours of Nintendo Switch this year! I finally got a new iPhone that takes much better (cat) pictures after four years of the old phone!

I don't have much else. Much of my mental space is about being very, very efficient at getting shit done and having a good week. Which means I watch TV shows we're all obsessed with & then forget them by the Tuesday after I stopped watching them. Maybe "remembering every second of SUCCESSION for months afterward" is a talent for twentysomethings. I used to write a lot on here in my 20s! I can't do that shit anymore.

I sometimes look at the archives here. I sometimes look at the pictures on Flickr. I realize that, about 10-15 years ago, those were some very charmed times. It was a period of youth and carelessness. It was a gift, to have a lot of time where I could be *HERE* and be present for so many things, and not be locked offline all day or living in a rural area to have the job/career I wanted. I told Carolyn this year was the 10th anniversary of the "last LCD Soundsystem show" at MSG (where we had general admission tickets on the floor, it was awesome). It doesn't seem that long ago. A photo I took that night is still the lock screen of my phone. Now I'm like, specifically NOT going to LCD shows because of this COVID Omicron variant (I am writing it in that way because in 2-3 years that will no longer be shorthand, we're all going to forget COVID fast JUST YOU WATCH) and everyone's getting older and some people are dying and my favorite places are closing one-by-one, but interesting things are still happening and life is still good even though I'm an old fart now (by Tumblr standards).

Every couple of months I check my messages here; don't be a stranger!