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#don't over generalise
lordadmiralfarsight · 8 months
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Essentialism, it's bad even if it looks left wing
Essentialism, its a conceptual base for a LOT of shitty things.
Racism is a variety of essentialism, where you are considered confined to the essential qualities or flaws of your "race" (whatever bullshit is put in the word). It creates a veneer of superiority based on skin color/ethnicity/whatever to comfort the adherant's ego, make them more amenable to the professing populist's ambitions and occult one basic reality : people of all color and origins can be wondrous geniuses who bring amazing advancements to humanity or terminally awkward dumbasses (and sometimes both at once).
Classism and casteism is the same, evaluating the social value of someone based on the essential qualities or flaws of their social class or cast. These two rests a lot on tradition and the natural tendency to social endogamy and self-reproduction through education. But in the end, the "superiority" of the higher social strata class or cast is attributed to essential qualities instead of access to better education and learning materials.
But when it comes to sexism, the essentialism seems to, most of the time, be only recognized one way in many keft wing circles, at least on the surface (which is the most visible part). What prompted this? I saw a post on the Barbie movie on this here hellsite that quoted a bunch of tweets. Up to the end, it was fairly feel good, cute, positive. Even if most of the quoted tweets seemed to have missed the commentary on gender relations that is apparently part of the movie.
I will be upfront, I have not seen the movie. Not by ideology, but simply because I do not feel the urge. But from my understanding, the situation of the Kens is ... not ideal. It could be better.
Most of the tweets did not mention that, focusing on the female aspect. And then there was this :
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So, over generalisation based on gender elevating one gender as sweet and kind and non-violent, just vibing, while the other is decried as brutish, oppressive and violent. No nuance, just big homogenous blocks. That is incredibly essentialist. That is also a kind of take that feeds Far Right pundits like nobody's business.
Think a bit on the underlying philosophy. What's being said isn't "inequalities are bad and both genders should be equal", it's "the wrong gender is in power and everything would be perfect if gender relations were switched around". That take doesn't have a problem with the system, but with who is in control. When the system is unjust, changing who controls it or benefits from it doesn't make it just.
And just to pre-empt : yes, I'm a man. So what? I am not obligated to suffer for the actions of other dick-owners.
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sorin-sunchild · 2 months
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Depressing seeing blogs who claim to be 'all about loving trans people!' and 'omg totally t4t' etc reblogging and making memes claiming yet again that believing that the intersectionality of being a man and trans (or masc and trans) causes unique forms of bigotry to emerge targeted at both those things - is inherently transmisogynistic and ofc indicates that the person loves to harass and bully trans women and blame them for everything.
Instead of, you know, it being coincidental that some of the people who talk about their own oppression with their own word which just happens to be controversial (because some trans feminine and even trans masculine people have a bee in their bonnets due to critically misunderstanding the way the world works) happen to be shitty people.
Maybe it shouldn't be if everyone grew up a bit and learnt that the world is more complex than they think and nothing is black and white.
(also tagging it as transandrophobia to make sure we see how much you hate us is cruel and unusual btw)
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onewomancitadel · 11 months
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Wait are people actually celebrating the R/eddit userbase migrating to Tumblr? I'm sorry I'm not a nice person, R/eddit culture is abysmal and they'll bring that with them, too. Like nothing is probably going to change very much, but if you hate replyguys and nitpicking and general lack of media criticism, that is not the website culture you celebrate. But I guess it's a moneymaker.
Most of my R/WBY analysis hinges on cyberbullying R/edditors. What am I to do.
Yes I am literally censoring R/eddit so it doesn't come up in the search. Bite me.
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rotzaprachim · 2 years
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THE young jewish existential angst song idk what to say 
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dustylovelyrun · 20 days
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I feel like I'm going absolutely insane, but. Those stupid little wooden pencils that schools issue out or that you'd buy specifically because they're allowed, like the HB standard exam ones or whatever. It feels very wrong to write or draw with them unless all the paint is stripped from the exterior, right? Like it doesn't matter how sharp they are, it's all this stupid, glossy, blunt feeling graphite that doesn't make any of the marks right?
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touchlikethesun · 3 months
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new question i should look into: why are more rural/country accents associated with "a twang" seemingly cross-linguistically? is this an actual phenomenon or is it just a coincidence? related, what actually is behind the twang? i imagine it's just nasalisation, but what's the motivation for its development (or maybe why is it absent in dialects that are considered more standard)?
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allthegothihopgirls · 4 months
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when did all pop become trashy angst with an upbeat chorus
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the-snake-owl · 9 months
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It is so difficult to explain to people why I am religious - it is almost entirely to explain my own emotions when faced with parts of nature, because I feel so deeply they are sentient and even when I actively chose to not believe that sometimes the feeling overwhelmed me so much I wanted to cry.
And explaining how things are sentient to me is even more difficult... they are not like humans, but each part of land feels so different, like a different person, but there are shared qualities, and overall there is just this incredible sense of scale.
The closest I can get to putting it into words right now is that it is like a human seeing a bug. You can choose to care for it, let it crawl along your finger and fly away, set it outside, give it honey water, you can simply ignore it and tolerate its presence near you, but you could also squash it and kill it without thinking twice, sometimes without even a twinge of regret. Except that in this scenario I'm the bug, and I keep being allowed to live, even treated kindly at times, facing things I can't comprehend - and the thing I'm existing alongside is far from human and human reasoning.
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purerae · 1 year
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╭────༺♡༻────╮
YANDERE!JOCK X GN!reader // PT1
warnings ;; none (i think??) YANDERE!JOCK does not show much yandere tendencies in this part!!
╰────༺♡༻────╯
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˚₊· ͟͟͞➳❥ YANDERE!JOCK who’s obnoxiously loud with his friends. Their table is surrounded with the soccer team. Their voices are 1/2 of the noise in the hall.
˚₊· ͟͟͞➳❥ YANDERE!JOCK who overheard someone speaking about his team. “God, I hate them all. They’re so self centered! I wonder if they know that not everyone cares about soccer like they do.”
˚₊· ͟͟͞➳❥ YANDERE!JOCK who immediately frowns after he hears that. Someone hates him? No way he tries to be nice to everyone! He's so self centered?? He didn’t know that :(( (You were generalising but okay..)
˚₊· ͟͟͞➳❥ YANDERE!JOCK who attempts to find the source of who said those words and his eyes land on you. You were on a table with two of your other friends chatting and side eyeing his team. He’s determined to make you realise he’s a decent person!
˚₊· ͟͟͞➳❥ YANDERE!JOCK who walks over to your table with a sad grin and puppy dog eyes but he quickly replaces it with a wide grin. “Hey I'm Alex!!”
˚₊· ͟͟͞➳❥ YANDERE!JOCK who recognises you. You’re in his history class! You lent him a pen and he gave it back. He thought you guys had some solidarity going on but it turns out you don’t?
˚₊· ͟͟͞➳❥ YANDERE!JOCK who always thought you were attractive, You were cute and quiet in class, He never knew you disliked him.
˚₊· ͟͟͞➳❥ YANDERE!JOCK who notices you freeze when he comes up to you. Are you scared of him? Just because he’s 3x stronger than you and towers over you doesn’t mean he’s going to hurt you!
˚₊· ͟͟͞➳❥ YANDERE!JOCK who wants to be your friend! He needs to have a good reputation with everyone in the school. With a pout he explains, “I can’t help but overhear you saying you hate me…did i do something wrong”
˚₊· ͟͟͞➳❥ YANDERE!JOCK who makes you feel a little bad for saying all of that. The way he’s staring at you makes it feel like he’s a high school girl who just got rejected by the love of her life.
˚₊· ͟͟͞➳❥ YANDERE!JOCK who ignores the stares the other jocks give him, because he’s interacting with someone who’s talking shit about them. He doesn’t care! He needs to have a good reputation with everyone especially with his classmates.
˚₊· ͟͟͞➳❥ YANDERE!JOCK who sulks when you ignore him and he slowly walks back to his table. He’s not as excited as he was before. The teammates notice that and now they heavily dislike you. How dare you make the sunshine of the group sad!?! :(
˚₊· ͟͟͞➳❥ YANDERE!JOCK who never gave up. After english, you rushed out the class only to be stopped by Alex. He gives you a proposition. If you come to his next practice and hang out with him after, he’ll help you revise for history!
˚₊· ͟͟͞➳❥ YANDERE!JOCK who frowns when you point out you have a higher grade than him. Come on! Just find him nice already!
˚₊· ͟͟͞➳❥ YANDERE!JOCK who will not stop bothering talking to you, until you become friends! Your friends don’t like him so why doesn’t he bother them? Many people care for him but…why does he care that you don't?
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“Trust me, Im not as bad as you think!!”
purerae<3
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Really hate that post going around rn about how you shouldn't tell atheists to be more specific with their criticisms of religion because multiple religions suck
"I saw someone being told to say they're criticising Christianity when actually they were criticising religion xyz"
Well maybe if they had said that they were talking about religion xyz instead of generalising that wouldn't be an issue
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satocidal · 5 months
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—RING RING!!
Say hello to our Operator Number One, and A Fan-Favourite:
── .˳⁺⁎˚ This caller seems to be into Humiliation and Generalised Behaviour of a Male Thot
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── .˳⁺⁎˚ Geto Suguru — Starring in ⌞Valedicktorian⌝
Synopsis: your favourite academic rival, he wants to respect you, he really does—but he just prefers seeing you cry more.
— Word count: 5.4k
— A/n: I know I know, we all love a cocky lil shit that my man is <3 and tagging @romiyaro @blkkizzat @driaswrld becauseeee I can <3333 (+this was supposed to be way longer but haha)+i know it's supposed to be more smut and kinky than story line but :( I apparently cannot do that
— Warnings: Smut!!MDNI!!AFAB! Fem Reader x Suguru; teasing on both parts; dubious methods of going along a lot of things; Suguru is almost like a soft Dom; hints at spitting; Suguru eats reader out through her panties; reader almost gives Suguru a strip tease or smn like that; Suguru is a cocky bitch; emphasis on academic validation somewhat; smut begins late; reader is a virgin; Oral (fem receiving)
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~November Beginning~
[8:03 a.m.]
Your eyes scanned the board fast, alone you stood towards the first corner—aware all too well you’d never even fall below
the first row.
Rank Marks Allotted
Y/n L/n [Valedictorian] 97/100
Suguru Geto [Salutatorian] 91/100
You didn’t bother lowering your eyes any further—a huge grin remained etched on your smile as you rocked back and forth about your Position, waiting for him to drop by.
Eyes flitted simply through the screen of your phone—mindless swipes, mindless likes passed on Instagram as you patiently, a whole wait of 7 minutes, you counted—how so very careless.
You beamed as his silhouette came into view, and his best friend’s right beside—lanky, they both stood, you never cared enough.
“You’re late,” you murmured as he shoved past you—an audible grown let out even though he just knew with the way you stood, that he was beat again.
But this time the difference stood of a worthy 6 points—just 6, how easily that he could’ve had you.
Satoru simply cackled beside him—indulging you with the very complicated handshake he and you had designed in the first year of your college.
“You're both stupid,” he, satoru, grinned, “I barely passed and that's so sick,” you simply chuckled at his words—joy emerging more so at Suguru’s annoyance.
“You’ve got the scholarship from your football team Toru’, unfortunately for us—6 marks make a huge difference,”
“6 marks don't matter,” Suguru grumbled, a frown lay upon his lips — “we’re not kids-”
“-except you will cry like a kid when you go back to your dorm because 6 points was what stopped ya from Rank 1,”
A smirk you bore—he wanted to drill it out of you so bad.
“The only crying that goes off in my dorm are the girls I bring about,” he smirk was his this time, your face twisted in disgust.
“And had you spent that time actually studying maybe you'd have gotten somewhere—and is that a confession that you’re that bad a fuck?”
He was tall, but the certain way he towered over most was amusing–not you though, never you.
Equals, in most senses of the word.
“But then,” you continued, and grinned wide—“don't suppose two minutes could've saved you from anything.”
A brow he raised, “you've been learning insults from middle schoolers—and what would your virgin ass even know?”
Jaw clenched you stared, Suguru Geto had realized your insecurity quick back in the first year—exploiting to all ends possible.
“Maybe you should try learning from them, gonna help you with grades and STDs,” a thin smile you wore, a thin smile he did too.
“At the end of the day, we both get the same grade, same gpa and probably the same job offers,” he paused—staring at your face—you took your chance, “And yet you’ll always remember that I was the one that beat you to the first place.”
A wink you passed, a clenched jaw he stilled.
—.—.—
[1:10 p.m.]
The semester was finally over—Satoru’s parties galore.
A tradition almost, celebration of his, scoring marks enough to pass—an ‘ode’ he deemed it, to you and Suguru for tutoring him together.
More so just an attempt to to spew you both together, failing just as always.
“You’re gonna show up tonight doll?” Satoru asked—eyes staring at your face from beneath—head placed in your lap, feet in Suguru’s lap as you both read books that couldn’t have been more neglected when the tension between the two fell so high. .
A hummed you passed, “Will you let me say no?”
A snort Satoru let out, answer all too obvious.
You sighed, “Tonight, sure but I have some projects to catch up and-”
“-perfect,” Satoru interrupted, all to your annoyance, “hm?”
“Suguru has some remaining too, right?”
Interested piqued slow and with a topic that deepened his natural frown, he—Suguru stared at you.
“I’m in mood for help from her,”
Eyes narrowed, you scowled, “yes well I’m not offering any either ways,”
“Not like you could,”
“Says the- ah!”
A sharp yelp you couldn’t help when Satoru pinched your side in midst of your banter—Something in Suguru found the noise adorable—he hated this little something, “excuse you?”
“You wouldn’t shut up otherwise, right?” A bashful smile he held, and so it happened you just couldn’t hold him guilty, an eye roll and you paused.
“Whatever, I’ll show up tonight but don’t hold me up for the rest of the week ok?”
“As you wish, doll,” a sharp edge Satoru held to his words, invoking a sense of alert in both you and Suguru—neither daring to consult the other.
-
[7:55 p.m.]
“And who exactly are we wearing this piece for huh?” Shoko’s eyes fell on you hard—“Who’s got you that hooked?”
A roll of your eyes, “Just wanted to feel cute is all,” you muttered under your breath—and that was mostly true.
It’s wasn’t such that you’d found someone, nor were you dressing to impress, but then, it was out of spite in some sense.
His words rang in your head- in wasn’t an insult really, being a virgin was fine, it was ok, but you hated even the littlest ‘advantage,’ that he could hold on you.
And so you trudged it on, the little black skirt that Satoru gifted you, so small you’d initially kept it only as a joke—and oh how the turn tables.
The top wouldn’t stand any better at all, almost sheer it lay—a floral print to keep what little of your modesty you wanted to show.
Pathetic and desperate, you called yourself, for turning about so easily—pathetically desperate however, you wanted Suguru to be.
-
[8:15 p.m.]
A step into his mansion, a wolf whistle greeted you.
“Shut up Satoru,” you mumbled, a shy smile playing on your lips—almost guilty, “I know it’s not for me, so who’re you dressed to impress?”
A heat caught up slow on your face at Satoru’s words.
Your eyes landed on Suguru who came sauntering just beside him—jaw clenched at just the sight of him, the perfect way his jean jacket clung to him, “And why couldn’t I dress up for you?”
Satoru’s smirk only grew, all too aware of the hostility and the sexual tension that Suguru and you’d fostered—his biggest mystery lying in the way that it was third year of your college degree and you still hadn’t fucked the lights of each other.
A wink, charismatic, most would say, “because you know I prefer you without anything on princess,”
Had you not known Satoru you’d have probably been disgusted, but wonderous what two years of being together did to a person and their adaptations—and you wondered just why you hadn’t adapted to his black haired best friend.
A soft punch on his arm, you shook your head with a smile, “Really though, you look gorgeous—right Suguru?”
Your eyes moved slow, hesitant almost to meet his, “Yeah sure,” he shrugged casually, and just a little your heart hurt too.
Pathetic.
“You don’t look half bad,” you spoke still, adamant to be the bigger person—adamant to have something going.
He eyed you for a second, then another—a scoff, “what’s up with that top? Fix it please- you look like a slut,”
Silence, the music blaring almost stunned out.
Your face burned, heart all the more—a baffled “what?” Escaped your lips—and possibly Satoru’s, you weren’t sure
You weren’t sure if anything there on..
A roll of his eyes caught you off guard further, heart beat racing despite you when he leaned a little towards you, “if you’re going to try dressing like a prostitute, carry it with confidence—do you have any idea how many guys have been staring? Your boobs are practically falling from in there,”
You hated it, hated his words, his demeanor, his proximity—the way you almost found it endearing that he looked away when you tried your best to fix it, the way he almost ‘shielded’ you from anyone looking at you weird.
You hated it all.
“I don’t need you to ‘watch out’ for me,” you spat—Satoru lay forgotten in the moment, maybe he’d slipped moments ago—had he been there at all?
“Not looking out for you doll, just sayin it doesn’t suit ya,” you wanted to thank the dimmed down lighting, your tears were at the brink of falling, you wanted to punch him.
“What would you know what suits me and what doesn’t,” shaky a voice, drowned by the loud music—a smirk Suguru adorned, “think your rival would pay enough attention on you to know what suits you and what doesn’t,” his grinned only ever widened as he stepped back to stand beside you, “but sure, you do look fuckable,”
Jaw clenched, your eyes stared at each other, “whatever,” a shrug you passed, retired.
“Wait,” and wait you did, persistently at his words, “I’m assuming you don’t know most people here, given you’re the pretty nerd-”
“-do you have anything of material to say or should I go?”
The annoyance lay naked, so did the hurt in your voice.
Suguru was perceptive, perfect in the way his eyes trailed down your body, “I’m just saying, tag along with me—don’t want no accidents happening to my nerd,”
“You’re a nerd too,” a scoff, yours, “that’s what you caught from the whole statement?” A chuckle, his.
You bit the inside of your cheek hard, a mindless nod as you let him hold your hand, unsure of it entirely but never more certain that it was the right thing.
His nerd.
-
[8:45 p.m.]
“You drink?” A shake of your head and a sigh, his, “Really are a goody two shoes huh?”
A scoff you passed at his words, “Nothing goody two shoes about it, just that I don’t like the taste and-”
A snort interrupted you, “Pardon, the taste? Alright then, let me order my doll a strawberry milkshake,”
Your scrunched face only ever helped his face concort with laughter further, “I’m not your doll, or nerd or nothing. Don’t call me yours.” yours Words all too defiant, he smirked.
“Eh?” A pause, heavy, “Don't remember hearing objection for when you’re with Satoru,”
You bit the inside of your cheek-how exactly could he make everything so tough?
“Satoru’s a friend,”
“I'm not?”
You grinned, the lighting lay dim—his smile a blur, as was yours — “You're nothing more than competition,”
A grin, his too, “Ouch—after we spend so much time?”
“What, you enjoy it? You're masochistic too huh?”
“If you're the one who's gonna be torturing me doll,” a wink he offered, you bit the inside of your cheek, as insufferable as always.
However before a retort would fall, before your grin would broaden, before his smirks would lighten—“Here’s your milk shake ma’am!”
An internal groan and a condescending little, “be a good girl and finish it all up for me doll,”
A groan- which bartender even agreed to make milkshakes? At parties? At night?
Your eyes scanned the tag he kept attached, Toji F.
-
[11:44 p.m.]
“Suguru,” your words were frenzied, grip tightening on his arm—eyes moving over the surrounding crowd, “I don’t wanna play,”
Drunk.
The usual it was, late the party started and ended up almost at the next morning, you could hear Satoru Hollering down in the background, eyes narrowed down onto the group of your peers that sat in a circle.
Truth and Dare, the tradition.
Everyone you laid eyes upon, drunk, you were sure Suguru himself stood slightly tipsy, saved for your sake entirely, “Cmon,” his words a drag, “It’s just truth and dare, what’s the worst that can happen?”
And you knew well, that was exactly how all the bad teenage movies began.
“Everything, please, let me go if you wanna continue, that’s alright-”
“-no, can’t let you go,” you smiled slightly at the little pout on his face, adorable he surely was when drunk.
“Yes you can, I can walk back from here you know-”
Sudden, all too sudden he pushed you slight, pinned to the wall.
Words interrupted by his weight shifting onto you, your eyes widened at the closeness- “Won’t let you go alone, too many creeps,” a sincere nod was all you could pass, mouth dry and heart racing—he smirked.
“You like this?”
A shake of your head—another pout from him.
“You lie too much,” he murmured against your form, a hand placed softly on your waist—never moving an inch—“you would do well with a round of truth and dare actually,”
You giggled at his words, heart racing fast still as his hot breath fanned over you, “What if I just choose dare?”
Closer, somehow, he only seemed to move closer.
“You’re too chicken to do that,”
“But what if?”
“Do you?”
“Maybe”
“Ok,” he paused—stepping back, “here’s child’s play for you,” the smile he held now was concerning in ways—you didn’t mind it, “I dare you that if I manage to score better than you in the next semester, you have yo do everything I say for a good one day,”
You couldn’t help the laugh you let out at that.
“You have a thing for losing huh?”
A scoff, an eye roll—why was everything from him gorgeous?
“It’s a dare babe, take it or leave it,”
“Sure thing Suguru,”
“Atta girl,”
—.—.—
The tension was held high, the second semester was to end soon—you weren't all so tensed for that, however something did bother you.
Suguru Geto, for the first time that your eyes had seen, was studying.
Day in and day out, the library was where most people would find you—not Suguru Geto, certified fucker of the batch.
“Pass me the book when you’re done please,” your eyes narrowed at the tone, so damn sweet , “please,” uttered so carefully, you wanted to punch him for no reason.
“Of course,” you smiled back politely, wanting to be anything but so.
your eyes flickered over to Satoru—grinning as he texted the girl he met at the party.
“Why don’t you teach Satoru a lil something too though? He could use your help,” it was a constant, you and your little comments, hell bent on distracting Suguru, hell bent on getting more study time than him—hell bent on winning that particular bet.
He’d been drunk, you were hoping he’d have forgotten—hopes always lay crushed, for in the certain way he grinned when he looked at you, it meant something, surely a promise of winning from him.
Suguru Hummed as he always did—hostility between the two of you hadn’t ebbed exactly but it was bearable—he made it bearable, simply readjustments.
Ever since the party, you weren’t sure if you liked the change or no.
You weren’t sure if it was because of the lies Satoru fed you about him wanting you — or the half truths Your heart screamed, of Suguru wanting to screw you.
However, not being rivals never equated to being friends—obvious in the way not even his begging had softened your heart to lend him your notes.
“Why don’t you? Seem pretty done with the outline of it,”
You bit the inside of your cheek, pertaining a gaze on you softly, he grinned, “Too busy to let a friend fail?”
A defiant ‘yes’ you muttered, eyes stuck on Suguru- adding a little, “we’re not friends,” but pausing as the long fingers moved, long fingers reaching out to give you a note—“what’s that?”
He grinned as he shrugged, but before you could open the little piece of paper, folded all so carefully, “ah ah ah,” he chuckled, “open it outside,”
And you did—walking away with a huf—decided that the library was no longer just your spot, not a glance shared with Satoru, focused all so much at the objective of hogging as much study material as you could for the exam.
A sharp inhale though, annoyance seeping in as you viewed the message on the white piece of paper, decorated with all so many hearts, “Good luck losing, doll-face.”
—.—.—
~Night before the Exam~
“You’re sick for this, you know,” Satoru’s words rang in his head, he scoffed, maybe he was, maybe he wasn’t.
How could it even matter?
The flashlight remained tucked between his arms, working, quick, eyes scanning over the question paper as he stood in the Dean’s Office.
Being a good student, trusted student of course had it perks—the security cameras just somehow malfunctioning could be no coincidence either.
And then again, he wouldn’t cheat a lot, just enough, just to beat you — just enough.
-
And so the next day, while your confident farce broke just a little to see him ask for more sheets than you, to see him write longer—to see him almost do the exam better than you, something told you that the bet wasn’t made in vain, Suguru Geto was a man of plans.
—.—.—
~1st December~
You were sure you’d left before him, before anyone—as always.
And yet, just the way your stomach twisted when you saw his figure standing by the notice board—his grinning face—that was all it took for you to realize that something wasn’t right.
“The fuck are you grinning for?” The nervousness was obvious—Suguru loved it.
“Mind the language love,” he mused—stepping aside, letting your eyes find their own horror.
Rank Marks Allotted
Suguru Geto [Valedictorian] 95/100
Y/n L/n [Salutatorian] 94/100
And oh how he loved the way your face fell, how he loved the green in your eyes and the red tint of your of your burning ears.
“The test was hard though so you know-” the glint of victory all so evident, “-shut up,” you huffed.
“Shut the fuck up—it’s just-”
“-just one mark? Yeah, no.” He snickered behind you, “and ah? Aren’t you the one supposed to be doing what I say? No more teetering me about, doll,” a wink, a shiver up your spine.
He wasn’t wrong.
“Whatever, what do you want? Laundry done or what? Breakfast-”
Suguru’s head tilted to the side, adorably, as if a puppy’s, “you think that’s bad? Oh jeez y/n,” he grinned, “somebody’s in for a surprise?”
And before the realizations of what something worse had to be, before a retort could befall your lips, Suguru Geto had spoken once more—voice defiant, “To my dorm, now.”
The wind around you was cold, yes but chilly was the sensation you felt down your spine.
-
The room was organised, books on the right shelf, mangas on the left—his family photo on the right corner of the desk and a poster of his favorite baseball team right in front.
Nothing you would ever find your room as—scrawled up notes lay shoved in every corner—silly gifts from friends and a pile of unwashed coffee cups.
The contrast was thorough.
Your eyes bore into his, his into your figure-“what do you- why are we here?”
Suguru glared for a second, “what did you think would happen when you lost?”
Not this.
Or, well.
You’d assumed Suguru would use his chance to embarrass you, thoughts were quick though, infested you sat through seconds and hours, days even—thoughts of Suguru Geto and your “humiliation”.
It wasn’t that you wanted to lose, but you wouldn’t have minded—and so a blind eye was all you had to offer when Satoru dropped the keys to the dean’s office—a deaf ear turned when you heard him bragging of the plan to his girls, a stifled laugh when Suguru smacked his head for talking too much.
But now that the situation lay bared, maybe, just maybe it wasn’t the best situation to be in.
Maybe, the nervousness finally crept into the skin—maybe, you realised, maybe you shouldn’t have.
Fortunately or not though, Suguru was perceptive as he was caring—somewhat, “Don’t be nervous, I’m not gonna- you know,” he grinned, thoughts pertaining to your imagination—you didn’t like where and why it lead to everything it did.
Suguru hummed as he walked about, you stood all so awkward in the middle of his room—a hand patted the space next to him on his bed, “come on up here doll,”
You didn’t want to, but oh how the feet moved before they could stop.
“I don’t want to,” he smiled, soft, “well, you do realize what I want, right?”
A gulp, “I’ve never-”
“-I know,” he paused, “I’m not gonna force you into it, only if you wanna-”
You did want to, hell if there was anyone you wanted to trust, it would forever be Suguru Geto somehow.
“What if I say no?”
“Then feel free to just lounge about, I’d love talking to you,”
Heart pace quickened, you licked your lips—“I thought you- you’d make me…”
“Not a monster doll, not gonna do nothing you don’t want,” and just then you couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face too, fuck, you really were into him huh?
A bite of your lips, a giggle his—“I think…I think you’ve won fair and square,”
Another small giggle, and boy was everything he did adorable—“you know I cheated-” you bobbed your head, and oh how he was down bad for you too.
“C’mere,”
-
15 minutes in, you’d already taken off your rings—the rules of the game Suguru wanted you to play were simple.
“You’re too smart for your own good,” he’d chuckled, “but, s’not gonna help today,” a book lay in his hands— “I ask the questions and you answer, for every wrong answer you strip, take off one piece of clothing,”
A grin you passed, “of course,” you’d snickered—sitting across him.
“What is my favorite color?” A brow you raised, confused still as to why Suguru even bothered opening the book which read, “NEUROROBOTICS” when all he bothered asking were stupid questions with stupider answers.
“It’s…white? Or uh, blue?” Shots in the dark, all wrong—what pained you though were his answers—“nu uh,” he grinned, “take something off again, and better not tease me again,” you giggled.
The last two questions were just trivial as this, about him, and you’d answered them right too—except he just didn’t accept them at all.
You cursed internally, for skipping wearing socks because as of now you you were debating for the crucial options, the jeans or the top.
Suguru grinned, “my favorite color’s that though, you know when you blush,” you groaned at his words—chuckling along with him because frankly, when had you ever ‘blushed’ for him at all.
Your eyes moved fast, the top it was.
His eyes were sharp, stuck onto your form, pulled right over your head—Suguru was loving his day.
“White huh?” he grinned, your face burned at the way he stared at your Lacy white bra, “it is my favorite color after all,”
“Ask the next question” you snapped—hand reaching for a pillow to help yourself.
Suguru’s smile was soft, “ok, how about…how long have you wanted to fuck me?”
It physically made you uncomfortable to how hot the tip of your ears had gotten.
“No point lying, since we're both here to fuck anyways,”
You pursed your lips, it was true but then—“since the beginning of this year,”
Suguru chuckled at that, clicking his tongue—“the pants now?” your face dropped, it was risky—it would be a first, and with the way Suguru sat fully dressed, humiliating.
“I'm not lying-”
“Liar,”
“I'm not-”
“I'll make ya take off two pieces if you keep this up,”
Two- pants and either of your bra perhaps, or panties, neither seemed better than the other.
A retired ‘ok,’ you choked out, scoffing at how he smirked when your fingers moved in to pull the pants down, slow—“what's the correct answer?”
“The day you first saw me,”
You despised the way he was correct.
Pushed down your legs and thrown aside your pants lay—your eyes and Suguru’s, trailed up all the way to your calves.
“Matching set? You wanted this to happen hm?”
And you despised the experience and knowledge he had—his gaze remained stuck on the white Lacy panties you'd decided to wear.
For him.
How scandalous.
“Continue the game,” Suguru grinned—”how long have I wanted to fuck you?”
Your mouth ran dry—oh?
“The beginning of the semester?” you guessed, truthfully, heartbeat fastening when he smirked—”you have no idea how long I've wanted you here, like this,”
He stood close now, very close, his hand itself moving to unclasp your bra—warm breath fanning your face, “how long?” you whispered.
“Forever. Since I saw you,”
A giggle you let out—“you- no way, you simp,”
A giggle, his—“and there, you ruined the moment,”
A giggle, together.
“Let me see?” Suguru murmured, pulling away softly, slowly the pillow off of your form—finally, the bra pulled away too—his hands held your breasts softly.
You were sure though, the nervousness all too evident in your face, “easy, I'll take care of you,”
You passed a nod in response— biting your lips as the way his hands squeezed you, held you—his thumb rolling onto your nipples—half hardened they stood already in the chilly air of his room.
“You're damn gorgeous,” he whispered- lips pressed against yours, fingers massaging your boobs carefully, “fuck I- you've never?”
A swift shake of your head, “mm’ gonna corrupt you tonight ok?”
And just like that, pushed down to your back you lay, “spread your legs doll,”
And you did, pace fastening as he leaned into the spot between your legs, hand lingering on your inner thigh—“are you turned on?” the smirk on his face was telling, of course you were, “got turned on thinking what I would do to you? Aren't you just the cutest?”
You were inexperienced, sure, but you weren't going to let him tease you all so much-“hurry it up I- hah!”
Or maybe you would, you didn't know.
A soft gasp interrupted your words quick, two fingers pressed directly onto your pussy, prodding about, dancing slight as he tramped about your opening.
“You must've touched yourself?” the question itself felt sickening, you shouldn't have to tell him—“yes,” you mumble slowly, “ever thought about me?”
Another ‘yes’ indiscriminately fell off your lips.
Right at your position you saw him smile, dumbfounded when he whispered a ‘me too,’
Suguru’s other hand—fingers ran close circles on your thigh, “I won't go all the way tonight, you're scared and that's fine—” you gulped, reassurance flitting through you, “wanna make you feel good though,” and exactly as his sentence ended, he propped your legs all the way to his shoulders, despite all that he was doing, an almost innocent —“comfy?” he dropped in the name of formality.
“Relax,” he cooed, soft and gentle as he slowly leaned in, “you're in good hands ok?” your breath hitched still as the first lick came about, wetness spreading all the more than it already was—you were sure you’d never found yourself all so wet.
“Suguru- I- c-can't we do this without the-”
Without the panties—you were already wrecked for him.
A Cheshire smirk spread on his features from down below, “no, we'll go step by step, that's how the studious ones go, right?” you held back a moan when his fingers found your clit—rubbing slow circles, panties getting drenched in your own slick.
“Was that a moan doll?” his words suddenly caught up—a sharp slap landed on your pussy, eliciting a small cry, ”I wanna hear everything from you doll, every whimper, every cry and moan—everything,” you could only nod, and gasp slight as he dived in to press a kiss against your clothed folds.
“I'm so glad you're wearing white sweets,” a devilish grin his and an embarrassed squeak yours as he pinched your folds through your panties—drenched in result of his spit and licks and your own slick, completely see through.
And all throughout, Suguru was relentless in the way he spread apart your folds easily, peeking at the hints of your exposed cunt.
Fingers hooked to repeatedly rub your clit, so slow, never the right pressure or pace—snickering at how your mouth hung ajar, eyes drooping with pleasure.
Low pants and shy breaths only encouraged the raved haired boy still, sparing fingers and diving right in with his lips attached to your pussy lips and panties—tongue pushing against so obscenely against your hidden hole.
A sheepish grin he held, “Suguru,” you let out a broken sob, “please,”
The whine had him feeling back, looking up at you—eyes never Fuller, almost as if drunk in your juices, “hm?”
“Want more—pl-please,” it was almost a drag, your words.
Sobbing almost, at the way he chuckled—“nu uh, this is still technically your punishment, you know that right?”
But even so, Suguru knew he wouldn't deny you pleasure, just…maybe, just tease you a lot—drive you over the edge with his words before his tongue would do it, but he would get to it, surely.
And deep down he knew it too, he couldn't have had anything in him to deny you it either, not when you squirmed for him so adorably.
Just as before, Suguru attached his tongue to your see through panties, swirling around your folds and nub—until he playfully nimbled on it—basking in your gasp and sudden clutch of your fingers on his hair.
Suguru wrapping his lips over your clit once again, feverishly suckling on the swollen flesh— tempted to just move your panties to the side and eat you out like a starved man who hadn’t eaten in weeks.
But then, even with, close to none, experience that you had —you were sure that is what carnal desire would be presented as.
The idea was enticing, to just have it all flipped to the side—but he wasn’t one to give up so easily—and then he did want to see you suffer and cry all for him. Even if he’s currently losing his mind to actually get a taste of your pussy.
“S-Suguru—please, s’close!” his tongue danced about your folds, warping and swiveling the mushy flesh until your legs started to shake—as did you.
Your back arched, loud moans leaving your mouth—almost pornographic they sounded, as your hand was still gripping Suguru’s locks tightly.
Fat tears rolled down your cheeks with your jaw slightly hanging open but no words were escaping your lips, your body spasmed, your grip on suguru’s hair loosened as you held onto the sheets underneath you instead—before you came really hard, drenching your panties even more with your cum.
Suguru was kneading the soft flesh of your thighs as he looked up to you, licking his lips, practically tasting your cum on his tongue already. You swallowed thickly, meeting his intense gaze on you and before you could mutter or say anything— Suguru had beat you to it.
“Not done yet doll,” he grinned—fingers hooking in the waist band of your panties—“next question decides if you become the good little student that you are, and I teach you how to please me—or you get punished more when I get it actually gt to play with your pussy,”
A broken giggle escaped you, “oh well, what is it?”
Suguru couldn't help but giggle at you too, so damn cute that he found you, “how many times are you cum for me?”
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All of this work is entirely original and my own, please refrain from copying or reposting.
Likes and Reblogs highly appreciated!
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beomiracles · 1 month
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Can ii request for how they would react with reader not understanding their language well?
WHEN YOU DON'T SPEAK KOREAN
A/N ─ as I don't speak Korean myself I wrote it more generalised. English is not my first language so I very much understand language barriers and wrote more from my own experience(s) rather than going into depth about the Korean language :3
pairings: txt x gn!reader warnings: maknae line + Beomgyu's is slightly SLIGHTLY suggestive
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YEONJUN
thinks it’s cute how he has to explain certain sayings and words to you.
doesn't mind you asking questions. 
might tease you a bit for it at times.
usually speaks english with you to make things easier. 
Yeonjun’s back is turned to you as he leans against the kitchen countertop. Phone pressed against his ear as he speaks. He rarely spoke korean with you so hearing him on the phone with his mom had your ears perked as you listened. You could only make out a few words and phrases here and there. 
Walking up to him you lean against his chest, fingers playing with the fabric off his shirt. Your boyfriend’s hand runs through your hair softly as he engages in the conversation with his mom, occasionally glancing down toward you with a grin. 
When the call finally ends you look up at him, “what was it about?”. He smiles as he gives your forehead a kiss. “She asks if we’re coming over for dinner soon”, he says his fingers play with the strands of your hair. You frown, “I…what if I can’t understand her…I want to make a good impression”. 
Yeonjun shakes his head, “you already have”, he grins, “she’s always asking for you”. His words make your heartbeat a little faster. “Besides, I’ll be there the whole time to help”, he reassures and you smile, “okay”. 
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SOOBIN
gets more flustered than you when you tell him you didn’t catch what he said. 
very shy to speak korean around you. 
when he doesn’t know the word in english and only in korean he tries his best to explain it to you. 
always curses in korean, in turn making them the only words you know. 
Propped up on the sofa in the living room you’re engrossed in a book. A loud noise followed by a row of profanities and words you couldn’t make out pulls your attention to the kitchen. Quickly you make your way over as you find your boyfriend cleaning up the mess that was a broken plate. “What happened?” you ask, making him jump in surprise, a few words leave his lips that you don’t quite understand. 
“Sorry..?” you ask and Soobin’s face flushes with color. “I…just, you scared me”, he says shyly causing you to giggle. Walking over to him you bend down to help him clean up the pieces. “No don’t, you’ll get....get”, he frowns, “you know, pain”. “I’ll get hurt?” you ask and he nods. “Yes, hurt”. 
Smiling, you stand up to give his cheek a quick kiss, “thank you for looking out for me Soobs”. His face turns a bright pink as he scratches the back of his neck, “n…no worries”. He’s quiet for a moment before he clears his throat, “you uhm…you like very..nice today”. His simple compliment makes your face burn, and you have to bite back a giggle. 
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BEOMGYU 
biggest tease about it. 
speaks korean to you when he’s mad or just being annoying. 
makes a lot of inside jokes that only a korean speaker would understand. 
though as soon as you mutter something in your own language under your breath has him immediately curious, “what was that??”.
The sound of your boyfriend’s intense raging filled the apartment as he gamed with his friends. Usually you didn’t mind him having fun but you had a lot of work to catch up on and this wouldn’t do. After another thirty minutes you’d had enough and walked over to his room. 
Pushing the door open it slams against the wall loudly, “mind quieting down a little?”, you cross your arms over your chest. Beomgyu lifts his headset off one of his ears as he turns to look at you. Mischievous glint in his eyes as he utters words that he knows you won't understand. 
Huffing out a breath of air you give him a glare before turning around, so that's how it's going to be. On your way out you make sure to curse him thoroughly in your own mother tongue. You haven't even reached the door to your own room when his hand grabs onto yours. 
“What was all that?” he frowns, you roll your eyes, “don’t know what you’re talking about”. He shakes his head, “no, say it again”, he insists as he pushes you up against the wall, “it sounded so fucking sexy”. 
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TAEHYUN
becomes the biggest teacher. 
has you learn anything from basic sentence structure to adjectives and verbs. 
his english is so good that he doesn't really speak korean at all around you. 
always compliments you in korean though. 
Twisting and turning in front of the mirror you let out a defeated sigh. Nothing looked good. Half your wardrobe had been pulled out on the floor and yet nothing seemed to meet your expectations. 
There’s a light knock to your door, “come in”, you sigh as you glance at yourself in the mirror once more. Your boyfriend comes up to stand behind you as his arms wrap around your waist, pressing a kiss to your cheek before moving down your neck. 
He mumbles something under his breath, which you don’t understand. You frown, “what’d you say?”. Taehyun smirks against your skin, “that you look beautiful”. His words manage to turn your frown upside down as you lean back against his chest. 
“I’ll wear this then”, you state as your hands run over the fabric lightly. Taehyun groans against your neck, “please do”. 
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HUENINGKAI 
does his best to make you feel included in group settings where everyone else speaks korean. 
translates for you a lot and explains jokes to you. 
appreciates how hard you try to learn for him. 
eager to learn your language as well as he thinks it’s an important part of your culture. 
“And this means that you’re sad but things could be worse”, Huening says as he finishes explaining another of his expressions to you. You nod along as he teaches you how to pronounce it. “You have to put more pressure on this part of the word”. 
“I think I understand!” you exclaim and your boyfriend smiles. “It’s quite similar to our language”, you say and Huening frowns, “really?”. “Teach me something!” he then says as he leans closer. You think for a moment, “okay! what do you want to know?”. 
He grins, “I love you”. You ignore the blush rising to your cheeks as you explain the phrase to him. You even teach him how to pronounce it, giggling over his many failed attempts. After a while he finally masters it.  
“This is hard”, he whines and you grin, “now you know how I feel”. He sighs, “I think I prefer just kissing you”. You smirk, “what’s stopping you?”, your boyfriend’s lips are on yours in less than a second, “nothing”.
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ravenshavenn · 10 months
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Why I think Snape is autistic
(as someone with autism and who also has other family members and friends on the spectrum)
(I don't want to generalise these are purely my observations and I hope I worded everything correctly, this is just my lil hyper-fixation dump meant for fun an not to be taken too seriously)
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Firstly, Severus is always seen in his trademark long, dark robes which could be a way to cope with sensitivity to certain textures as he has clearly found something that works for him and he knows he likes, so why should he have to wear anything else?
He also keeps his hair long which could also be another sensory comfort for him as tying it up can keep it very far away from his face which short hair doesn't provide quite as well (from personal experience) or leaving it loose can create a nice feeling on a persons face or neck that some people with autism find comforting
Obviously Snape's favourite things are the dark arts and potions and he shows a deep knowledge of these subjects throughout the books and movies alike therefore these could be seen as special interests considering the amount of time and energy Severus puts into them
He's also shown to have a vast collection of various potion ingredients in jars and knows straight away that something is missing when Harry takes the Gillyweed
Severus also stims in potentially unnoticeable ways such as constantly fiddling with his hands, having his hands behind his back to clasp them together and picking apart leaves as a child
Social gatherings are clearly something that Severus finds difficult as he's not often seen at any besides supposedly mandatory events such as the Yule ball which could be because he finds them overstimulating from the noise, crowds, smells, lights, etc
Another potentially overstimulating thing for Severus could be light as he spends his time in the dungeons which aren't well lit and in other scenes where there is bright lights he immediately shuts them off such as when he takes over Lupin's defence against the dark arts lesson and also again in the prisoner of Azkaban a portrait asks him to put out his luminous spell and he complies as he walks away meaning he's just walking in the dark?! (Which is a total vibe tbh)
He's always been depicted as "strange", "wierd" or "lonely" as from his childhood Lily is his only friend and the vast majority of other characters seem to find him off putting and can't actually specify why they don't like him "the fact that he exists" but he's not shown to make much effort to expand his social circle so it seems as though he's either content with the situation or has given up on it
There is a lac of understanding shown for other peoples emotions throughout the books and movies alike for example the perceived "rudeness" towards students could definitely be a result of depression or something else but it could also be that he doesn't fully understand the impact that he has on them
Severus also experiences the "flat effect" which is when someone displays little to no facial expression, this is a trait that can be seen in autism, this is emphasised in the movies in particular but Severus in the books is also said to not show much emotion unless he's feeling incredibly extreme emotions "Don't call me a coward" for example is one of his infamous more emotional scenes but for the majority of the time his expressions aren't depicted in great detail or he simply isn't displaying any
Along with this he also has a fairly monotone voice, besides when he's extremely upset which again is a trait displayed by those on the autism spectrum
He doesn't seem to understand social rules particularly well for example he's unsure of how to communicate to Lily that she's a witch and accidentally ends up scaring her, not fully grasping that 11 year olds can't do everything he can regarding potions and becoming easily frustrated by them
Severus also clearly has a very strong sense of justice that he's willing to do almost anything to ensure is carried out such as spying for as long as he did which was definitely partly motivated by Lily but also (or I like to think) his intense black and white vision of right and wrong which Voldemort crossed when Severus fully understood everything that the death eaters stood for when they began hunting down Lily
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fairyhaos · 1 year
Text
how seventeen would reassure you about your scars
requested by anon: "could u pls do svt w a reader being insecure ab scars on their legs? just any fluffy things <33"
notes: thanks for requesting! i changed it a little to make it so that it's scars in general so hopefully it's more inclusive. i tried to generalise it to include face scars too, but the descriptions do hint mostly of bodily ones
masterlist
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seungcheol:
he's noticed how you're always tugging the material of your clothing in order to cover your scars. ends up sitting you down and having a long and serious conversation with you about where they came from, how you feel, how you'd like to deal with them. holds you the entire time, and then you start tearing up bc he's listening so intently and it's obvious that he cares so much about how you feel about yourself. says that it's okay to be insecure and he'll help you cover them if you need, but he wants you to know that he thinks they only make you even more unique and wonderful
jeonghan:
looks at you like ??? every time you try to hide them from him. doesn't quite get it when you explain to him that it's bc you're insecure about them, bc he thinks that the scars are really cool and are a very special part of you and nothing to be ashamed of at all. asks if he can see them, but understands if you're not ready to show him yet. will touch the area with the utmost care, handling you like you're something so precious and wonderful, because to him—even if he doesn't say it much—you really are. 
joshua:
notices how you're always trying to tug your clothes over to cover your scars, but doesn't say anything bc he respects the fact that you probably don't want to show them to him. later finds out it's bc you're insecure over them, and makes it his mission to show you how beautiful they are. helps you warm up to the idea of gradually being comfortable with showing them to him, runs his fingers over the scarred area in awe, looks you in the eye and says with such overwhelming sincerity that he thinks your scars are nothing to be ashamed of because in fact, they're only proof of your strength and only serve to make you even more beautiful in his eyes
junhui:
when you explain to him that you don't like exposing the areas where you have scars, his face softens in understanding. he was very clumsy, when he was a child, and coupled with all his martial arts he did, he has countless scars of his own, and understands feeling uncomfortable about showing them. will help you buy oversized clothes + tape to cover them up if that's what makes you happy, but makes a point to say that he thinks scars are nothing to be ashamed of and do not take away from what a wonderful person you are
hoshi:
is so confused when you tell him you're insecure about your scars when he asks why you're tugging your clothes to hide parts of your skin from him. says that they're like battle marks to prove that you've survived through tough experiences. doesn't matter whether that experience was falling off the slide or something more serious, bc he believes that all situations like that are important in some way. respects your decision to keep yourself covered up, tells you that if you ever want to tell him about them then he can totally tell you about this one scar on his shoulder that he has too
wonwoo:
knows you have scars. he's never seen them properly, since you've always tried to hide them, but he knows they exist and knows you're insecure abt them so he never tells you he knows. instead, tries to subtly reassure you about them by complimenting you. tells you how beautiful he thinks you are in body and mind, no matter what happens. constantly saying increasing weird things about how he's always going to love you, even if you're secretly an alien or you're the height of an oak tree or you actually have eyes embedded into the back of your skull. it's a little weird, but still rlly reassuring
woozi:
almost ended up crying with you when you confided in him your worries about your scars. he's not very good with comforting people, but he makes sure to let you know that he's grateful you trust him with something that must be very difficult for you to talk about, and holds your hands while he sincerely tells you that, if knowledge of your scars makes anyone look at you differently, then they are not people who are worthy of looking at you at all. because if all they can see are the so-called impurities of your body, then they are nothing but scum of the earth who don't deserve to interact with you ever
minghao:
gently strikes up a conversation with you about your scars when you come to him teary-eyed with worries. tells you all the funny stories about his own scars to take your mind off it and stem your tears. asks if you're comfortable with him seeing your scars, and if you say no then he'll give you a kiss on your hair and tells you he completely understands and there's no rush and in fact, you are never under any obligation to ever show them to him. if you say yes, or say yes later on, he'll press a kiss to his fingertips and then press his fingers to your scars, saying he's helping soothe your emotional ache from the physical marks
mingyu:
you're insecure of your scars??? what??? he's so shocked. thinks that having scars is so fascinating (bc tbh all he has are the mental scars from living with svt) but understands that you might not feel the same way. helps you gradually feel comfortable with him to end up showing them to him, is silent for a good ten seconds before rapidly telling you how incredible and beautiful he thinks they are and that if you ever feel ashamed about them then you can always come to him bc he will be more than happy to gush about how wonderful and amazing he thinks they make you look
dokyeom:
accidentally barged into your room when you didn't have your scars covered, and apologised profusely and immediately. softly asks if you'd like to talk about them with him? listens so intently while you're talking, is completely able to sympathise with your insecurities. hugs you and thanks you for being so vulnerable and trusting with him. will help you with however you want to move forward after this, whether that be continuing to keep them covered or gently boosting your confidence by telling you how genuinely brave and wonderful he thinks you are, scars and all
seungkwan:
has eyes that never miss a thing, so when he notices that you're always tugging down your clothes to hide something from him, he's pouncing on you in your room to very seriously (and also a little cautiously) ask you if there's something that happened to you that you feel particularly insecure about. when you tell him you don't like the look of your scars, his eyes go all sad and he lets you know very solemnly that he completely understands what it's like to not like a part of yourself and that it's perfectly okay. tells you that, to him, your scars are just yet another unique and incredible thing about you that he gets to adore
vernon:
the best sympathiser. is so good at sympathising that he's probably on the level of empathiser. feels all your insecurities while your eyes well up as you're explaining them to him, and ends up having to be the one consoled bc he feels your worries so well. asks you what you want to do about them, nods understandingly if you say you'd still like to keep them covered up, reassuring you that you don't have to go down the route of eventually showing them to people. gives you a long talk about discrimination and learning to love yourself. promises to help you learn how to appreciate yourself for who you are
chan:
never brings up your scars unless you bring them up first. if you have worries about them and you look visibly upset, however, then he'll initiate a conversation. like hansol, gives you an incredibly heartfelt 'love yourself' conversation, and holds your hand the entire time. tells you about the insecurities that he also has about himself, and dries your tears as the conversation ends up diverging into ridiculous childhood memories. but, he still brings the conversation back to the main point: it's okay to not want to show people your scars in case they become unrightfully judging, so long as you are able to love yourself all the same.
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19burstraat · 1 month
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queering futurity in crooked kingdom
if I had any real time for this (I do not) I'd be tempted to write a real essay about it, but I have a dissertation and two other real essays for my actual degree, so let's do a bad tunglr bullet point analysis. I'm... largely generalising and paraphrasing here, and I suspect this has a billion things to iron out or that I forgot about, but I hope this might be a bit interesting regardless of how much you may or may not know abt queer literary theory lmao.
in extreme short, there is a subset of queer theory around what is, in essence, queer time. there is a heteronormative future/'futurity', and it is marriage, children, a good job, a nice house, and dying at a good age after a fulfilling life. queer* and trans people both reject and often cannot access this: plenty couldn't/cannot get married or have children, or had to surpass lots of obstacles to do so, many queer and trans people were or are killed young, or died prematurely in the aids crisis. and so we get queer temporality; a resistance to the heteronormative future that is refused or inaccessible, and to reproductive futurism; the concept that people value the future over the present... and this manifests in kicking back against things like the symbolic 'child' as a representative of futurity. not real children, but empty platitudes like think of the children! think of the future for your children! there can also be a development of a death drive, which is sometimes literal and sometimes metaphorical, which is, again, basically a rejection of 'the future'.
while the grishaverse doesn't have homophobia as such, you can still do queer readings, bc it is ofc influenced by our world, by virtue of being Written By A Person From Our World. and especially in kerch, there's still stuff like patrilineal inheritance... buuuut reproductive futurity & friends are very deliberately destroyed by the end of crooked kingdom. mostly by the usual culprit (taps sign that says IT'S KAZ AGAIN LOL) but by the narrative and the other characters as well. walk w me! I don't think this is a real analysis more just a lot of Thoughts but... nvm
*used here as an umbrella term since the theory I'm pulling from is the field of queer theory
the two men (van eck and rollins) who are most concerned with reproductive futurism (having heirs and a legacy, 'building something that will outlast them'), are promptly buried under the rubble of their building efforts by our usual culprit. kaz uses the mentality of legacy and lineage against them both; he kidnaps van eck's pregnant wife to use as a bargaining chip, and he uses rollins's son and heir against him, because he knows what's most important to these men is their line, their work being handed down. he deduces that rollins has a son through rollins' vanity around building something to 'last', and his naming of the kaelish prince. rollins is literally themed around monarchy and descent; the king of the barrel, the kaelish prince, the emerald palace. kaz, for his part, is the bastard of the barrel. the illegitimate son, not produced by any conventional family structure, ketterdam his mother and profit his father... and therefore he is the perfect person to blow up this imagined monarchy
wylan is rejected by van eck for his disability, for being supposedly incapable of continuing his father's legacy; and so we gather that the actual child doesn't matter to van eck, it's what The Child represented to him, which was the future of the van eck company. the illegitimate kaz restores van eck's disowned son to the succession through sheer trickery, and jan van eck's trading empire is succeeded by his son he attempted to reject, and his farm-boy barrel-tough boyfriend. they bring home the first wife that van eck had committed, for failing to produce the 'perfect' heir. no perfect heteronormative future here!
(also by virtue of wylan and jesper being a mlm couple, there is now way less emphasis that can be put on the idea of biological children 'continuing' the line, and it somewhat stops the expectation that ruined wylan's life from being passed down)
the two m/f couples are also very distant from this idealised reproductive futurity. matthias dies, ruining any idea of a 'conventional' future he could have had with nina, and while his death is generally more about the extremist brainwashing stuff explored w the drüskelle, it does blow to shreds that futurity even more, and nina's power is also a very literal HEY GUYS. LET'S THINK ABOUT DEATH... plus she leaves ketterdam to take matthias to be buried at the end of the book.
kaz and inej both do very dangerous jobs and separate for long periods of time. they may marry or they may not, they may have children or they may not, they may be physical with one another or they may not. it doesn't really matter; they'll try, but we don't get to find out how far they may or may not get, which honestly I kinda like. their future is open, the river running carrying inej to the sea. also, inej makes an explicit rejection of this kind of 'normal' future:
So he wasn’t fit for a normal life. Was she meant to find a kindhearted husband, have his children, then sharpen her knives after they’d gone to sleep? How would she explain the nightmares she still had from the Menagerie? Or the blood on her hands?
we don't really know whether or not kaz as a character is queer (I do not think kaz knows either lol) but it doesn't really matter, you can still read him as a queer figure both a) just if you want to! and b) in this sense of queer temporality, bc he's the crux of a lot of it. we already covered the bastard thing and his happy habit of kicking reproductive futurism when it's down, and as Edelman says: 'If the fate of the queer is to figure the fate that cuts the thread of futurity...' well, kaz 'build something new. watch it burn' 'he knew exactly what he was going to leave behind: damage' brekker is our man!
he does not give a single flying fuck about the future. he destroyed van eck and rollins' legacies, and he'll do that shit again. he doesn't have enough of an ego to consider a 'legacy' for himself besides destruction, which is a rejection of a legacy in itself. his plans for the future amount to fucking shit up and making a bunch of money to use to do more damage, until he gets shot/stabbed/hanged/drowned/whatever, which he constantly anticipates.
kaz also has a massive distrust and disdain for traditional family structures, because he's seen them crumble twice; his actual family are all dead, and the hertzoon con was built on creating a convincing family mode to lure them in. "my mother is ketterdam, she birthed me in the harbour; my father is profit, I honour him daily" is a sneer at paterfamilias type families where the mother is there to just give birth and the father is the head of the family, to be honoured and served, rather than loved. he also has zero sympathy for the 'think of the children!' thing, bc he knows it's disingenuous; who thought of him? no one. rollins was happy to con kids with the false promise of family and safety, and all the people he paid off were happy to turn the other way. was there no one to look after you? no, there wasn't. his mother is ketterdam: filthy, feral ketterdam. no nurturing mother has he!
So he threatens Alby and Hanna with no qualms, because while he doesn't actually ever intend to hurt children (...not physically anyway, apparently upsetting them is fair game FJJFJD), he knows the power of the threat— the idea of the child— is often more impactful than the actual act itself. ("Inej, I could only kill Pekka’s son once. He can imagine his death a thousand times.") it certainly works on rollins and van eck! he'll make you think of the damn children alright!
inej takes direct action to defend actual children, not just the idea of them, and then we hear in rule of wolves she's hated by the kerch government for it because she's fucking with their profits. (look also to how they flapped about searching for wylan, one rich man's kid, and are completely useless about hundreds of forced indentures. what a surprise...)
she reunites with her parents, but she worries persistently about whether or not they will accept her for who she has become, and we are never quite told whether or not they do. we like to think so, but we don't actually know. and although she gets to see her parents again, her future is on the wraith, not with them.
most people have dead or splintered families, actually. only inej has both parents, and for three - four years, they didn't have a daughter.
The general proximity to death in general is very potent; nina's power, kaz's whole backstory, the camping out in a graveyard. jesper's recklessness and love for fights, inej being ready to die rather than be a captiver again and kaz's response to that being 'not just yet', rather than not at all...
all following into the whole no mourners, no funerals thing!!! the fact that they know they won't be remembered or cared about if they die!!!
Edelman: 'Choosing to stand, as many of us do, outside the cycles of reproduction, choosing to stand, as we also do, by the side of those living and dying each day with the complications of AIDS, we know the deception of the societal lie that endlessly looks toward a future whose promise is always a day away.'
SOC:
Inej's mother and father might still shed tears for the daughter they'd lost, but if Inej died tonight, there would be no one to grieve for the girl she was now. 
“No mourners, no funerals. Another way of saying good luck. But it was something more. A dark wink to the fact that there would be no expensive burials for people like them, no marble markers to remember their names, no wreaths of myrtle and rose.”
pick up what I'm putting down guys please please I don't have time to tease this out properly but like. I think kaz and wylan are the linchpins here. (again)
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AITA for "feeding my ex's internalised transphobia" by refusing to date a man as a lesbian? TW for internalised transphobia, mentions of rape and SA
TLDR: i am a lesbian. my teenage partner was sexually abusive to me for a year, mostly through enforced sexist rp scenarios. now, they are out as non-binary and accuse me of misandry and transandrophobia because i once told them i would not date a man regardless of his agab
I (NB20) started dating my ex (NB23) when i was 15. I was always openly a lesbian. When we met a year before we started dating, they identified as a butch. Throughout our relationship they explored their gender identity more, toying with the idea of being vaguely transmasc. I never had a problem with it; i enjoyed being in a butch/femme relationship and honouring their masculinity as much as I could.
For context, I am a very outspoken hardcore feminist; I don't like to generalise and i have a lot of love for the men in my life, but I have also made a couple of "kill all cishet men" jokes at a safe setting, with people who know exactly where I actually stand. I don't hate men, I just don't find them attractive and think they should be raised better. One day, they asked me if i would still be attracted to them if they fully transitioned and started living as a man. I told them I wouldn't; in my head, being butch/masc is extremely different to being a man, and I appreciated their presentation as a part of them being a lesbian (gender expression =/= gender identity, after all). They assured me that this was just a hypothetical question and just them being curious about my boundaries and limits, ended the conversation, and never brought it up again. My ex was very into roleplay during sex, and I was on board with it initially. After a while, however, the scenes they wanted to act out began to get extremely degrading, bordering on abusive, where they were embodying a man in a position of power (something that i was extremely uncomfortable with), while I was a vulnerable woman (usually a sex worker) getting degraded or even raped. Although I was deeply disturbed by some of the things we did, I was a child at the time, they were my first and i wasn't theirs. I wasn't ready to have sex yet and didn't know how to defend myself. Even when I tried to set a boundary, they would press on and claim it was their way of processing trauma, and that I was manipulative for attempting to withhold that from them. Eventually, with the help of a therapist and my family I ended things between us. I dreaded talking to or about them to anyone and mostly kept quiet about it all. Back to the present day, one of my old mutuals found my new account and texted me. They told me that my ex was posting about me, and that I should be ashamed of myself if what they said was true. I gathered up enough courage to view the posts myself. Their story is very different from what I remember. They claim I was being a misandrist and by extension transandriphobic (in their words, my distaste for the behaviour of cishet men was very damaging for masc people. it is weird, because healthy expressions of masculinity are the last thing i would judge a man for). They also claimed I made their internalised transphobia worse by refusing to date them if they transitioned. I have moved on with my life, but now other people are mixed in and im honestly at a loss. I never forced them to be someone they weren't with me. I never shamed them for their masculinity or discouraged them from exploring their identity, I just stated that dating a trans man wouldn't agree with my sexuality. A healthy response would be to be honest with me, and give me the right to decide for myself whether i would stay with them through their transition or only be able to support them as a friend. They could even just leave without justifying anything.
I don't know. Maybe my trauma is blinding me, but I keep going over the memories in my head trying to figure out how I might be the one behind all that hatred and violence. I don't want to be unfair to them, even if it's just in my own mind, so I'm just speaking up about it for the first time in my life through an AITA tumblr post. Any advice or insight is appreciated.
What are these acronyms?
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