#don't worry there has never been any cheating involved

[scorpion-flower]

Okay, confession time that's gonna make me sound like a shitty person, but on my trip from Catania back to Athens, I sat next to that lovely Canadian woman and her mother and we were chatting during the whole trip and we went out last night, and we went out tonight again (I was supposed to meet them for dinner, but I got to the wrong place and didn't get to meet the mother, but I still got to meet the young woman). There's a slight chance that we will meet tomorrow as well because she's leaving on Thursday, but I don't want to be that creepy person that always invites themselves.

And she's cute, funny and kind and I didn't know what got over me, but I didn't mention that I have a boyfriend, but I also assumed that she would not be interested anyway, because she mentioned past boyfriends and men she flirted with on her trip to Italy, and she's not gonna stay here for long anyway.

And because there was a miscommunication between the two of us and didn't meet her at the place she originally invited me to, and the messenger app wasn't working on my phone, I gave my FB password to my boyfriend and asked him to tell her to text me because I didn't have her number and couldn't reach her any other way. The boyfriend knows about her and how we met btw (he doesn't know that I think she's cute and hadn't tell her that I'm in a relationship tho, I know, shitty me.) It felt kinda weird asking him to log on my FB and text her, and he of course mentioned that he's my boyfriend, but I couldn't do anything else.

And when we actually saw each other tonight, one of the things the woman told me was "I thought that was weird because you didn't mention a boyfriend." but she said it in a way that I couldn't make sense of. I wonder if she was trying to figure out whether I wouldn't have made mention of it because the relationship is bad or because I had other things in mind. And then I thought "But what if she was actually interested? Now she'll never tell me."

I know I am a shitty person because I shouldn't be thinking this way. It's not fair for my boyfriend. I am probably overthinking things anyway and again, she'll be leaving on Thursday, so...

I don't know, I hope we stay in contact even as friends anyway because I really like her and feel that I want to preserve that personal relationship. I asked her if it's okay to message her on FB just to casually chat, and she said she's okay with it.

Yup, I'm definitely an idiot.

[saerotonins]

biggest scandals they have faced

ft. actor!nanami kento, fushiguro toji x wife!reader (separated) 

content warnings: fluff, light angst, jjk actor au, celebrity issues, cheating allegations, divorce allegations, none of them are true, misogyny, mentions of infertility, just cruel stuff based on the issues i see online, slightly suggestive (making out), toji and wife call each other "ma" and "pa", mentions/hinting of sex, internet trolls, horrible people online, pls don't read if these issues are triggering to you, shitty article names lol

wc: 2052

note: this got too long, will do other parts for the other actors instead <33 happy holidays, everyone!

NANAMI KENTO:

Jujutsu Kaisen Star Nanami Kento Facing Trouble in Paradise: Leads to Divorce

to say he was irritated when he saw the headlines from the tabloids was an understatement, he is beyond livid. but the comments just made everything worse.

user_1: wow aren't they married for years already? maybe his wife can't conceive any babies? LOL

user_2: must be, or maybe nanami's just realized his wife is just using him for his actor money 

user_3: the wife doesn't know to make a sandwich i fear 

user_4: maybe he got tired of his wife's ugly face, no wonder he hides it from the internet hahaha

kento doesn't give a fuck if people were dragging his name left and right but god forbid it involves you, his loving wife who has been nothing but utterly supportive of his career. for someone who stuck by his side for years, it angers him that people immediately assume that you were the problem. he knows the news isn't true, he literally just cuddled with you last night, so to say that you were getting a divorce almost makes him laugh if it weren't how stupid this situation is. 

when his manager informed him about the situation, he immediately cancelled every schedule that he has for today, he will call the lawyers to settle this later but for now, his main focus is you. 

you are someone who is used to the privacy of your own space which is why you opted to keep your face off his socials and remain anonymous to the eyes of his fans. kento hates it that your peace is getting disturbed due to his stardom, so he is willing to drop everything just to go home to you and comfort you. no one knows who you really are but the way it made people talk like they do, makes him angry. no way his wife is going to be disrespected like this.

the moment kento opens the door the your shared home, he's panting, sweat evident in his forehead and worry present in his eyes as he looks at you across the living room, sitting on the couch with your phone in your hands. 

"shit," he thought, he knows you already saw the news, and worse the comments. he can tell just by your body language. your eyes sunken in sadness and your lips form a frown. he doesn't see it but he knows your heart is breaking too.

"honey," kento breathes out as he walks towards you. he knows you heard him, but you stay in your position, disbelief flooding your senses. suddenly, you came back to reality when you feel kento's warm embrace, his large and quick hands getting rid of your phone before placing it on your head and immediately feeling his chest against your head.

his breathing his ragged, unstable deep breaths as he tells you, "it's gonna be okay," and a thousand apologies to go with it. you nod instead, finding yourself difficult to talk. you opt to rub onto his arm, a silent reply to his comforting and kento seems to understand your gesture. he then kisses the crown of your head as he pulls you tighter in his embrace.

"am i holding you back, kento?" you asked, your voice quite muffled as you speak through his button down blouse.

"oh god, darling you will never hold me back, if anything, you keep me moving. don't listen to them, alright? i'm happy and contented to where we are right now, don't worry about it." he lets go of the embrace and cups your face with both of his hands. he looks at you with loving eyes as he brushes your lower lip with his thumb. you close your eyes as he leaned closer, then you finally felt his lips against yours. he gives a peck, another, and then a third one before he crashes his lips onto you for the last time as he takes his time to explore your mouth.

kento knows a lot of ways to apologize, and this is one of them. he is gentle, but his love is loud as he allows his tongue clash against yours, the wet squelch filling up the room as he allows himself to be drunk with your lips.

when kento lets go, his breathing is heavy but satisfied. "i'll take care of everything from then on, okay?" he says as he caresses your face and a smile creeps to his face when you lean towards his touch with a nod. "will you be releasing a statement?" you ask.

"yeah, i'll contact our lawyer about it and then we'll see what we can do." his answer earned a curt nod from you. kento noticed pursed your lips, obviously thinking about something.

"are you still bothered by the comments?"

"no, i mean, i'm a bit upset about how people were talking about me online but i'm just curious as to where all this came from." 

"hmm, yeah, we'll take care of that too, for now, just rest your pretty mind and always remember that i will never leave you. that okay?" his gentle voice makes your heart feel full, and that's you know that your husband will always be at your beck and call. "yeah." you answered as you give his lips a quick peck, "i love you," you added.

"i love you too."

not a even a day later, the JJK LABEL had released a statement and an article regarding the fake news that had surfaced.

Nanami Kento Slams Fake Divorce Article: "Don't project your problems in your love life through me and my wife."

"the article itself and the comments are horrible and people are stupid enough to believe something that came from a tabloid known to release fake news. maybe this just tells about how gullible and stupid people are for believing groundless rumors and not my relationship." the artist stated.

"to everyone involved in the release of this article, we will see you on court and i hope you have any evidence about your claim. to the people who threw disgusting comments about my wife, please worry how alone you are instead of snooping around our relationship." he adds.

that day, kento's fanbase rejoice as the tabloids finally got their karma when it was reported that their company was finally shut down.

FUSHIGURO TOJI:

it was a normal day in the fushiguro household until megumi bursts in through the door with a loud and resounding—

"dad, what the fuck?" 

"megumi, language, please!" you warned him.

your word goes through megumi's ears and went to his dad who is currently lounging in the living room reading his script. he paid his son's words no mind and gave him a raised eyebrow, urging him to continue.

"your name is all over tabloids because of a forum post. look," megumi says as he faces his phone screen to toji's face. to say that he's horrified to what he just saw is an understatement. so, with a worry mind, you go behind toji's lounging chair and read what's on the screen.

Acting Veteran 'T' Caught in An Affair! 

At the night of Tuesday, Actor 'T' is caught leaving a hotel with a seemingly younger woman clinging on his arms. The two are being lovey-dovey in their Shibuya rendezvous. Actor 'T' is currently married with a child which makes everything even more scandalous. What would actor 'T'’s wife and child think about this? Seems like the man really took a liking towards sneaking away with younger women.

Actor 'T'’s identity will be released by [MM/DD/YY] so stay tuned! For now, let us know your thoughts below.

user_1: actor veteran and the code is T? must be toji then?

user_2: this is definitely toji lmfao he looks like someone who would fool a younger woman

user_3: his wife must be so rusty now so he's running to the younglings LOL

user_4: respect for having the balls to cheat on his wife after this long, ik his ass is itching

user_5: @user_4 LMFAO should've done it sooner! bet he doesn't want to pay child support so he's staying 😂

user_6: NOOOO the GOAT got caught damn we were rooting for u 👑

"what the fuck?" both you and toji's voice were erupting in the whole room. out of shock? anger? rage? megumi is not sure but there is one thing he's sure of, both of you are being scary right now and the red in both of you and husband's eyes are almost showing due to the high range of emotions you were both feeling right now.

despite knowing that toji is utterly in love with you and he was actually with you that day, it scares him that his father is facing this kind of scandal. people are horrible out there trying to ruin his father's career that he worked hard on and this is the proof.

toji might be used to having false rumors spread about him all over the years he is in the acting industry, but what he can't take is people talking shit about his wife and thinking less about her. the comments that he just read just woke up the rage inside of him.

"mom?" megumi had called you since it's been minutes when you had gone quiet. the sight before him broke his heart. 

your eyes are trying not to let your tears fall, but the comments are too hurtful to ignore, too cruel to set aside. even though you know that it's covered with a codename (barely), you exactly know it's your husband that they are talking about. you're hurt about the comments but you're most scared of your husband's career coming to a screeching halt.

you suddenly feel your husband hug you so tight and you let it all out. his shirt might get damped but toji doesn't care, comforting his wife comes first. he then tells megumi, "call our lawyer, tell him what we just saw, they'll know what to do," megumi frantically nods and gets out of the house to do what toji had said.

"come on, ma, let's go and get some rest." toji had urged you to go with him.

"pa, this is so ridiculous, i know you know how to deal with these but this is just too much, they're targeting our family now." the sadness in your voice and the tears that flow through face break toji's heart. you don't deserve this. these assholes needed to be taught a lesson, and he knows he won't be nice about it. "i'll take care of this, 'kay? i love you and megs so much, angel."

toji's voice somehow calmed your senses and you let yourself cry in his arms until you're left with no tears. "i'm sorry, i'm too old to cry like this." you said as you try to wipe the remnants of your tears from your face.

"no one's too old to cry, darling," toji coos, glad that you're finally able to calm down, and caresses the back of your head. then, a sly smirk forms on his lips, "you know what else we're not too old for?" 

genuinely curious, you look up to him, "what?" you asked. 

toji leaned down and whispered, "another child, think we can give megumi a sibling?" and gave you a mischievous look.

"toji!" you exclaimed as you smack his chest, flustered of his words. 

"gross, get a room, and is now really the time for this?" you suddenly let go of yourself from toji's grasp the moment you heard megumi back in the living room. toji chuckled, "i got it all covered, both of you rest up and i will deal with all of this." toji walked towards where megumi is standing and gives his head a gentle pat, "no one's gonna ruin us, alright?" 

the conviction in toji's voice made it clear to both of you and megumi that he already has a plan in mind, and you trust him enough to believe him. he has never let the both of you down, after all.

the next day, news break out the the person who posted the rumor on the online forum is caught with other criminal charges aside from the defamation he just attempted to do. the horrible comments also seem to magically disappear.

Fushiguro Toji Busts Down Anonymous User, Other Criminal Charges Involved

"I hope this serves as a lesson to everyone else. I'm not backing down until everyone gets what they deserve for ruining the names of the people I care about. I will not let go until every single horrible person who rises their tongue against my family is punished." Toji stated.

"Be careful what you read and comment online, please don't forget that the people you talk about are not just subjects, but real human beings." The veteran actor added.

the fake news spreader should have really known not to deal with a veteran who is powerful enough to protect the people he cherishes.

edit: i just noticed that i wasn't able to add the ending to toji's part 😭 my apologies, i fixed it now!

[kyuuppi]

How they react when you're jealous

Ft. Wanderer (Scaramouche); Xiao; Zhongli; Childe; Venti; Albedo; Tighnari

(gender neutral reader but Childe refers to them as "princess"/"prince" once)

⭐ Wanderer

+ This man is actually insufferable, good-fucking-luck

+ He acts so smug 'cause of course you'd be jealous, he's revered and worshipped by the masses!! (he's not)

+ Will probably cockily tell you you'll just have to get used to it, he's a god afterall so it's expected that he'll have many loyal fans all vying for his attention—

+ It's all a farce

+ In reality, he's kind of in shock that you'd really be jealous over him, the useless puppet discarded by his own mother—but that's his unresolved insecurity and mommy issues talking

+ He'll keep up the façade and tease you for a while until he realizes you're genuinely upset—then he'll find some roundabout way to tell you that you have nothing to worry about, he only has eyes for you...of course he'll never directly admit that, though

"Hah, you're jealous? What a foolish human emotion—of course I'll be adored by thousands..."

The Wanderer cuts himself off as he takes in your tense form, brows furrowed and eyes looking anywhere but him as you quietly seethe. His chest clenches in that weird way it only seems to do when you're involved.

"Wait...don't tell me you're actually angry...?"

You don't show any signs you even heard his question and the Wanderer sighs dramatically, averting his own gaze to hide his reddening cheeks as he mumbles his next words.

"You have nothing to worry about, idiot...you're way above any of those other weaklings anyway."

⭐ Xiao

+ I'm sorry but he literally is incapable of understanding that you're jealous

+ Like...he can barely even process that you like him, let alone recognize the advances of another random human who is interested in him. The time he even spends with others is extremely limited unless you're involved so there aren't many chances for anyone to talk to him

+ If it's something like another adepti or half-adepti, like Ganyu, who he's been spending a lot more time with lately training, you might feel insecure by your own mortality, which Xiao can somewhat understand but still doesn't get the jealousy part

+ Tries his best to try to comfort you though, even if it means shyly asking Zhongli or Verr Goldet

+ Surprisingly ends up coming to the best solution—spending more time with you

You nearly jump out of your skin when you turn to find the figure of your boyfriend standing behind you on the balcony of Wangshu Inn. You're certain he wasn't there just five minutes ago.

"Huh? Shouldn't you be training Ganyu today...?" You ask, feeling slightly sick at the mention of the pretty half-adeptus girl. She was a sweetheart and a great friend but you can't help but to think about how much time she's been spending with Xiao. You're sure she doesn't have any ulterior motives but you can't help but to think about how much prettier and stronger she is compared to you. Surely Xiao sees it too...

"We agreed to take a break for today," Xiao immediately answers, slowly stepping forward until his cheat is nearly touching the back of your arm, so close you can smell the faint traces of his natural scent—something fresh and crisp like the mountain air.

"Instead...I want to spend some time with you—if you'll allow it." He says softly. You momentarily freeze, not used to Xiao initiating dates. Unperturbed, he continues speaking.

"I thought we could do that mortal activity you told me about before. I think it was called...a picnic?"

⭐ Zhongli

+ The god who has ruled over humans for over 2,000 years—of course he's familiar with such a common emotion like jealousy. Even if he himself has yet to experience it

+ He would never assume you were jealous unless you openly tell him about it

+ But then he's quick to assuage your worries and maybe even propose some sort of compromise that can satisfy you both

+ Spends a night absolutely spoiling you until you hardly remember you were ever jealous in the first place, if that's what you so desire

"Ah, it seems you may have misunderstood my relationship with the funeral director, I apologize if I caused you any discomfort," Zhongli tells you earnestly, gently holding your hands in his own, much larger ones and holding your gaze so intensely you find it impossible to look away.

"Now tell me, my dear, how may I settle your worries? Perhaps we should take some time away, just the two of us?"

⭐ Childe

+ Idk how you even got jealous in the first place cause this man is glued to your hip

+ Slightly flattered when he recognizes your signs of jealousy cause he just sees it as proof of how much you care about him

+ It may feel a bit demeaning at first but he will not take your jealousy seriously. He baby talks, pinches your cheeks, and teases you but will not show any genuine concern—not because he doesn't care about your feelings, but because he's so sure that he only has eyes for you that he thinks your jealously is completely unreasonable in the first place

+ As a big fan of PDA, he takes the advantage to be more touchy and affectionate with you in public under the guise of "showing everyone he's yours"

+ If anything, he's the one whose always jealous when another person takes so much as a second of your attention—but you don't need to know that

"Aww, is my prince/ss pouting now? Ahaha, don't look at me like that!" Childe effortlessly dodges the elbow you aim at his ribs after he pinches at the fat of your cheek for the third time today.

Not perturbed in the least, Childe sticks himself to your side and continues to grin down at you, uncaring of the strangers who glance at you two with strange looks as you make your way through the busy streets of Liyur Harbor.

"Here, how about I make it up to you and we go on a lunch date? My treat!"

⭐ Venti

+ Another one who doesn't take your concerns seriously

+ However, unlike most of the other men, it's pretty reasonable to be jealous with how Venti talks to everyone

+ He's naturally romantic and seems to possess no clear boundaries, leading to him saying things that could be construed as flirtatious without him even realizing it

+ When he's tipsy on dandelion wine, it's not unusual to see him belting out ballads and serenading anyone nearby willing to give him the time of day—though, in reality, his love songs are all actually written about you

"Oh, my windblume is feeling a bit jealous?"

You don't bother providing a response but Venti doesn't seem to need one.

"Ehehe, so cute," he coos, shamelessly wrapping his arms around you. Any feelings of jealousy you hold are quickly being replaced with embarrassment at how other patrons in the crowded bar frequently glance at you and your loud boyfriend.

"No worries, my love, this poor bard's heart only beats for you! I'll even prove it with this song I wrote..."

⭐ Albedo

+ It's Sucrose, isn't it?

+ They spend all those hours locked up in a small lab room in the depths of Dragonspine—its only natural that you'd feel suspicious right?

+ Wrong

+ When he's not with you, Albedo literally only thinks about his experiemnts or drawing. In fact, the times you and Albedo are together are really the only time anyone ever sees Albedo actually listen to someone outside of the Knights of Favonius and talk about things that aren't directly related to alchemy

+ As the so-called "chalk prince," it's not that uncommon for people to find him physically attractive and try their luck—but any deeper feelings usually vanish when they realize he has no interest in them. That and his blank stares can get rather unsettling...

+ If you do get jealous about Albedo being around anyone, it will eventually go away on its own as you realize this man is literally incapable of recognizing flirting

+ (Also, Sucrose is literally an angel and would never jeopardize your relationship. Like, she actively ships you guys together, pls—)

"...which is a particularly unique property for this chemical given it's electronegativity. In fact—oh, [Name], what are you doing here?"

You try very hard not to laugh at the relieved expression the woman Albedo was previously lecturing shoots you. She wastes no time slipping out of the lab while Albedo is distracted, his ocean deep eyes staring at you with a mix of surprise and quiet adoration.

"Ah, it's about lunch time and I don't have any commissions today so I thought we could go get something to eat together. Sorry if I'm disturbing you—"

"Not at all," Albedo interrupts, quickly putting away the glass vial he previously held and removing his latex gloves.

"A visit from you is never a disturbance," Albedo admits plainly, oblivious to the way his words make your chest squeeze.

"Now let's go. If we hurry, we might be able to make it to that place you like before they get crowded."

⭐ Tighnari

+ Lmao what are you jealous of, a flower?

+ This is another Science Man™️ who literally sees nothing but his work. Unless there's a rare sentient species of seductive mushrooms in Sumeru with it's sights set on fennec fox boys, you have nothing to worry about

+ Collei sees him as something akin to an older brother figure and Tighnari is too sassy for anyone else to get close unless they're interested in joining the forest watchers

+ If you tell him you're jealous, he's probably going to call you an idiot for even thinking he's interested in anyone else

Tighnari looks almost annoyed at your confession, glancing up from his journal only to shoot you a glare.

"Hah? Did you accidentally eat some hallucinogenic mushrooms again? I don't have enough time entertain things like that. What a ridiculous accusation."

Annoyance bubbles up inside you but, before you can act on it, Tighnari is already standing from his desk, striding over to you quickly to gently pull you along with him.

"Now come with me. I found an interesting flower on the outskirts of camp I think you'd like."

The proud grin highlighted by the sparkle in his eyes as he looks up at you quickly cuts off any protests you were going to make.

[nyashykyunnie]

˗ˏˋ Jinwoo x Fem! Reader: Healing ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ ˎˊ˗

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕘 𝕁𝕚𝕟𝕨𝕠𝕠˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

・┆✦ Entry : 034 ✦ ┆・

[ TW: Depictions of Body Dysmorphia, Internal Misogyny, Fluff Ending ]

╰┈➤ ❝ [ Can you send a message to pretty little princess hiding in your heart? Tell her that her knight in shining armor is here ] ¡! ❞

For a long time, you've hated the idea of being a girl. In desperation to fit in with everyone else, you purposely acted like a tomboy. Pushing away those barbie dolls, mocking the idea of liking make-up, being disgusted with the other girls hating to get dirty.

All of that for the sake of fitting in, all of that for the hope that maybe if you become cool enough in everyone's eyes by not acting like a girl— You would find acceptance and validation from everyone around you.

But now, now who's laughing?

You're a grown woman now, and yet you cant even apply lip gloss or any make-up. Your clothes? Shabby long sleeves and hoodies, shirts that make you feel bloated and icky.

Your own body makes you so uncomfortable that even looking at your own face in the mirror makes you gag. The sight of your eyes, tho round cheeks, those awful dry lips— It made so sick in the stomach you purposely avoid mirrors as if they're going to kill you.

Despite how terrible you felt about yourself, despite how much you hated mirrors— You somehow capture Jinwoo's heart.

That perfect, perfect boy.

A clean shaven face, fluffy hair that always misbehaves but makes him more charming, a small smile that feels like it's lighting up the whole world— Yes. That perfect Jinwoo is your boyfriend.

And despite him not giving any hints nor saying anything, he knew of your self-destructive habits because of your appearance. Truthfully, there's nothing wrong with you, you've always been perfect. But even if JInwoo told you that— The only replies he gets are nervous chuckles and fidgeting.

He really didn't know how to help you at first, he wasn't a girl.

Ah, but he has a sister.

So he approached Jinah regarding you. She was perplexed by her brother's confusing statements since Jinwoo is so unsure of what to say. So instead, Jinah suggested he observed you more than he normally does.

And observe he does.

Jinwoo would often peek on your phone, not that he's worried that you'll be cheating since he's always around you even if he's not there.

He noticed a lot of things, your pins often involved dresses, your favourites had various pictures of make-up and other pretty things. It intrigued him, after all, you never shown interest in girly things outwardly.

Once Jinwoo had done enough watching, he knew the problem right away and how he could solve.

So, on one faithful day on your date in a mall— Jinwoo purposely passed by a shop that had similar dresses he saw on your phone.

Your gaze would wander absentmindedly towards the displayed frilly dress that had strawberry patterns on it's graceful fabric.

Bingo.

"Pretty colour, don't you think?" Jinwoo asks out of nowhere, leaning down a little towards you.

"H-huh?" You sputter, realizing wha you have been doing. "Well... It's fine I guess"

"Come on" Jinwoo gently tugs at your hand, guiding you to the store. "Let's see if there's a size for you."

"Hey!" You squeak, grabbing his arm to try and stop him. "I-I don't wear dresses! It won't look good!"

"It will," Jinwoo gently smiles, flicking your forehead. "I wanna see you in a dress, so come with me, yeah?"

You reluctantly sigh in defeat, letting Jinwoo drag you into the store. The man was quick to move about and get the dress, pushing it in your hands and then directing you to fitting room. Jinwoo waited patiently, until he saw your little head peek from the curtain of the dressing room.

"Come out, baby" He coaxes softly, as if he were talking to a little child hesitant to show themselves.

And when you do, Jinwoo felt his breath hitch. His mouth would slightly hang open, his grey eyes complete still as it gazes upon your beautiful figure adorn in that pink strawberry dress. The way it so gracefully lands on your curves, eloquent and meek. The flowy freels making you look like you best belong in a fairytale book.

Jinwoo felt like he just fell in love all over again.

"I-I knew it, it looks stupid!" You cry out, immediately shutting the curtain but Jinwoo sprang up to his feet and prevented you from hiding away.

"Hey, hey, sarang" Jinwoo chuckles, "You look pretty, I just couldn't talk for a moment hahah..."

"But..."

"Sarang, can you look at me?" Jinwoo cooes softly and you hesitantly meet his gaze. "See that girl in my eyes?"

"She's the prettiest princess I've ever seen"

His words make you shy, like it always did. Somehow, Jinwoo had a knack for making you shrink into feeling like a giddy little girl in her birthday.

"So, will the princess please spoil me by wearing more pretty dresses?" Jinwoo asks, his eyebrow cocking up a little as he leans down. "Hm?"

"Okay— ???!!!"

You couldn't even finish talking as Jinwoo shoved atleas tten dresses into your arms.

The rest of the time? Jinwoo swears he almost died with every dress he puts on. His heart was bleeding a river at this point. You're such a pretty girl. How come you've never tried such clothing?

Jinwoo could tell that you absolutely enjoyed it, the way you were hopping around, spinning a little to watch the fabrics float and twirl along your movement— The look on your face proves that you have been dying to feel this way in forever.

He adores that smile of yours, more than anything else in the world. If you look this happy in such clothing, he can only imagine what you must have gone through to not have the courage to wear pretty things until today.

In the end, Jinwoo bought at least 15 dresses off of his wallet and the idiot seemed to be even more happier than you do.

Just as you thought Jinwoo would be done for today— The man decided to drag you into dior where at this point you wanted to cry.

"Nah-ah~" Jinwoo hums, continuing to guide you inside.

He scanned through the lipstick sampling area before picking up a single shade, holding it up to your lips.

"Come now," He says gently, and you obeyed.

With a mouth slightly hanging open, Jinwoo started applying the lipstick with intense focus. His stare was boring into you, it was as if Jinwoo is currently doing something extremely important.

After a few more seconds, Jinwoo swipes his thumb under your bottom lip.

"Look," Jinwoo turns you around, showing you your the lipstick he had applied on you. The color was magnificent, suiting your sweet features and making you appear dolled up even by just a little. "This colour looks so good on you, sarang."

"Why?..." You ask, pursing your lips. "You keep..."

"Spoiling you?" Jinwoo finishes your words for you, his voice growing a bit quieter. "I know it's rude, but I snooped around in your phone and found that you are very fond of pretty things. Not that I minded your current appearance, of course not. But I can't help but notice that you somehow feel like an imposter in your own body. So what am I to do as your boyfriend? I help you come out of your shell."

"My pretty little thing, if you want something, tell me" Jinwoo kisses the side of your head affectionately. "Didn't I tell you? I'll always help you whenever you need me, just say the word and I'll do it"

"If you want to be a princess, then I'll help you become one. So wont you tell that shy little girl in your heart to come out and play with her knight in shining armour?"

You didn't answer, but that was more than enough for Jinwoo to confirm what he needs to. So he picked a few more colours of the lipstick he knew would look good on you. He'll start out slow with buying cosmetics since he doesn't know much. Maybe he should ask Jinah once he's home.

After succesfully purchasing the lipsticks, he gently intertwines your fingers as he guides you out of the store.

"Why don't you say we test these out at home?" Jinwoo muses. "I wanna see how well they'll stain"

Oh that devious smile on his stupidly handsome face, you knew at that moment Jinwoo was planning to probably kiss you until he cant breathe.

꒰ A/N: I'm struggling to embrace my own feminine side, despite my age I don't know how to wear makeup nor do I wear pretty things. I still have a very bad case of body dysmorphia, so I made this fic to heal me and maybe even allow me to be a bit more confident. I hope you guys don't mind this very selfish fic</33 ꒱

ʚ(੭´͈ ᐜ `͈)੭ .｡✧･ﾟ: ~♡ —! stories written by kyunnie; translations, reposts, plagiarism are strictly forbidden.

[unclewaynemunson]

It's a little past two AM when Wayne opens his lunchbox and finds himself unable to stop the smile that's creeping onto his face.

He's met with a note, in neat handwriting:

My dear Wayne, I hope you're having a good day/night at work. I made you some extra healthy sandwiches because of that cough you were worried about – I hope you like fresh tomato and lettuce. (Please don't get mad at me for trying to make you eat vegetables on your bread.) I also hid some clementines in your bag. I'll be thinking about you when I go to bed, and I can't wait to see you again in the morning. Love, S.

'Munson!'

He startles when he hears his own name and looks up to find his colleagues looking at him with various degrees of amusement.

'Who woulda thought?' John McMillan laughs while some of the younger guys let out wolf whistles. 'Wayne Munson got himself a lady?'

'We've been working here together for almost ten years and I don't think I ever saw you smile before,' Bernie adds. 'So she wrote you a love letter to go with your sandwiches, huh?'

Wayne rubs a hand over his beard, trying to hide his inclination to hide away from all those eyes staring at him like he's something funny. He has never liked being the center of attention.

'Don't act like y'all know somethin' you don't,' he grumbles.

'Who is she?' asks Logan. 'Can't be someone from the trailer park, you never were interested in any of 'em. Found yourself a more classy one? Someone from Loch Nora who gets the hots for a working man?'

Wayne suppresses the urge to roll his eyes at him.

'You got it all wrong, boys,' he says, hoping they'll back off soon.

'Do we, now?' With a taunting smile, John McMillan plucks the note out of Wayne's hands, and starts reading it out loud to his little audience in a high-pitched, faux dramatic voice.

Wayne isn't ashamed, and he knows the teasing is mostly meant in good fun, but he feels an overwhelming relief about the fact that Scott had been smart enough to not sign the note with his full name.

'S, look at that!' McMillan exclaims triumphantly, putting the note back into Wayne's lunchbox. 'So he got a mystery lady... Guys, who do we know with names starting with an S? Any girlfriends or wives we should get worried 'bout cheating?'

There's laughter, some guesses thrown around by people thinking they're funny, but Wayne mostly lets it glide off him, the same way he'd endure their comments about Eddie back in March. Granted, this teasing is much less mean-spirited than the so-called banter back then, but he still doesn't like to get involved. The less these men know about him, the better; that's a lesson he learned a long time ago. So he eats his bread – and even a clementine – while he lets them guess and pretends to laugh with them.

When the break is over and they get up to go back to their job, Bernie matches his pace to Wayne's.

'Look, you know we've been teasing you, but we're happy for ya, man, you know that, right?' he says.

Wayne pats him on his shoulder. Bernie is a good guy. He was one of the few men around here who actually seemed concerned about Eddie when all that shit went down. As far as Wayne knows, he never chose a side back then, never came for his nephew like those guys like Logan or John McMillan, with their big mouths and narrow minds.

'All good, Bernie, thanks,' he says.

'Does she make you happy?'

The question catches him by surprise; it prompts his lips to curve into the second unexpected smile of that day.

He thinks about the way Scott looked at him before they said goodbye this evening. He thinks about the sparkle in Scott's eyes whenever he talks about his students. He thinks about the way his hands held Wayne all through the night they spent together last weekend. He thinks about his neat mustache, his soft sweater vests, his long fingers cradled around one of Wayne's mugs. He pictures the private smile that must've surely been on Scott's face, a smile nobody saw, when he filled Wayne's lunchbox with fresh veggies and a surprise note.

'Very,' he tells Bernie, before slowing down his steps to be left alone with his thoughts about the man who will be waiting for him in bed after his shift, asleep and with his hair a mess, but waking up for a second to kiss Wayne's lips like he always does.

There is nothing that makes him happier than that one hour they get to share in bed together before Scott's alarm goes off in the morning.

[rebeliz7]

AUGUST - PART ONE

August 1/3

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Reader 

Warnings: Pinning - Cheating

Special thanks to Van (aka @missmonsters2) for helping me by editing this, all 3 chapters.

…

July, 27th

A high-rank order arrives at the Tower early in the morning, which is code for the White House, which is code for 'you're not directly involved.' 

You understand the hierarchy of the job, and you accept it. The only Avengers who are allowed to communicate with the President are Steve and Natasha, even if the rest of you provide backup if needed. 

The missions from the Oval office are usually dangerous and, more often than not, quite complicated. A part of you is a little relieved that you get to stay at home and 'hold the fort,’ while Steve and Natasha have to pack their bags to go somewhere that you're not allowed to know. 

Steve hugs you goodbye, and you melt in his arms, if only for a second. He's your boss, technically, but he's also the closest thing you have to family, and although you're not ready to say it out loud, you care about him. 

"We'll be back before you know it. Try not to give Tony an aneurysm." He laughs, and you push him towards the jet in jest. 

"He and I have our own thing going on, don't be jealous." You smile back, and the look in his eyes almost makes you run back into his arms, but he nods his head once in your direction, and then he's walking towards the jet. 

As if things couldn't get any worse for you, you have to watch Wanda kiss her wife goodbye too. You look away quickly, not wanting to have that image engraved in your mind. 

What you feel for Wanda is - complicated. You think she knows, but she's also a married woman, and neither one of you will ever acknowledge whatever it is that you feel because everyone knows that she's head over heels for Natasha. 

"Hey, you don't have to worry." Natasha's voice pulls you back, and you realize that Wanda is saying goodbye to Steve by the jet now. "I have his back."

"I know," you say, and Natasha takes your hand. 

"I know you don't like this any more than we do," she says, and you swallow with difficulty. They have a mission, and you accept it. There's nothing you can do to stop them from going. You know what this job entails. 

What's eating at you is the fact that this might be very well goodbye for good, and none of you know it.

The thought always passes your mind whenever one of you leaves on a new mission.  

"We'll be back before you know it." She winks at you, and you smile back; she's your oldest friend, and you've never said it out loud either, but you care for her—deeply. 

"Take care out there," you tell her out of habit. 

"We will. Take care of her for me, would you?" She looks back at her wife, and you look at Wanda hugging Steve. "She might worry."

"I've got her."

"Pay close attention to Daisy. She shows promise."

"I've noticed, and I will."

…

July, 28th

The world seems at peace. There are no trying thugs with supernatural abilities on the streets, no arms dealers selling guns to maniacs. The Avengers are not needed, and when noon comes around, you realize that this could very well be your first day off at the Compound. 

Things have been a bit hectic since you joined the infamous team of heroes a couple of years ago, and for the life of you, you can't remember a single day off since the day you joined. 

Before Natasha practically dragged you into this Compound, your life was not a peaceful one, and you've never had a full day to yourself, but that changes today. 

Today you stay on your floor and order pizza for lunch, and you sit through an entire season of Modern Family on Netflix while you finish the beers on your fridge. 

When the sun finally goes down, you notice how tired you are of not doing anything, but you're smiling, and this has officially been your day, only yours, and you'll always remember that. 

July 28th, you will always remember this day. 

… 

July, 31st

Tony is worried, and Wanda is pacing the meeting lounge. 

Natasha sent in an encrypted message a few minutes ago. Their mission got a lot more complicated than they were expecting, not that it surprises you. 

They'll have to be away for longer than they originally planned. 

"Can you reach them?" Tony asks you, and Wanda turns to look at you with hope in her eyes. 

Natasha sent the message through a radio line only you know of, she wanted it to be a one-way type of message, and you know she'd check but only to make sure that you didn't answer. 

"Well, yeah but -"

"Nat wouldn't want that," Wanda says, and you watch her take in a deep breath as if to gather herself. You can practically smell her worry by now. 

"You don't look worried, or surprised." Tony assesses you, and you shrug lightly. 

"Don't you watch the news, grandpa?" You ask him in jest, and he rolls his eyes at you. "The President is not very subtle about the places he decides to bomb. Nat and Steve are probably behind a defector, who must be surrounded by security detail 24/7."

"How do you know all this?" Wanda asks, and you shrug lightly again before sitting on the table. 

"I don't. I'm just taking a wild guess here. The order came from the White House, right?"

"It sounds like something that Stark Satellites could have helped with," Tony mutters, completely blindsided by your question. 

"Don't be like that, Starboy." You smile when he glares at you. "Your satellites leave traces behind."

They both take a moment to think about what you just said, and you remain quiet while they process. 

Once they do, Wanda goes back to pacing, although slower than before, and when she meets your stare, you smile at her, however small. You told Natasha you'd look out for her, and you don't know exactly how to do that. 

"How long do you think they'll be gone?" She asks you. "Are they safe? Why would the President send them in for this?"

"I'm just taking a guess here, but if this is actually what's happening then it could take a month or two."

"Two months?" Tony asks. 

"Well, they'll have to blend in and Natasha won't take any chances. Meaning, she'll go all out. Surveillance, tracking, making contact, studying the perimeter, making contact again, befriending someone on the inside, befriending a lot of people on the outside, looking for alternatives, setting up a trap in case they have to resort to it, plan for escape routes. Several escape routes."

"Sounds easy," Tony says with his usual bite, and you sigh as Wanda takes a deep breath. 

"Hey." You call her, and she looks at you with worry etched on her face. "Natasha is the person for a job like that, and I'm just taking a wild guess here."

"You were right the last time." She points out. 

"A Governor got killed and it was all over the news. That one was easy to guess." You smile until she shakes her head and lets out a breath. 

"If anyone can handle something like this, it’s Natasha," Tony says. "She'll bring back Rogers. He's lucky she's with him."

"That, he is."

… 

August, 1st

Sam and Bucky arrive from their mission early in the morning. They've been gone for almost an entire month, and by the sore look on Bucky's face, they don't come with good news. 

Blake continues to slip through their fingers, and Bucky continues to shut you down when you try to lend a hand. Blake, a Russian lowlife that tortured Bucky on more than one occasion under Hydra's command, has proven himself a hard one to catch. 

You get it, you understand why Bucky wants to be the one who catches him, but it's obvious that the guy knows Bucky well enough to always keep himself one step ahead of him. You'd know. 

You leave the debriefing room when Sam and Bucky begin bickering, knowing that they won't stop for a while. They're an odd pair, but they get each other.  

You go about your day with as much normalcy as if the Captain and Natasha were here. You run the drills for the new recruits, and you pay special attention to the girl Natasha believes has the potential to be something more. You make sure to run her a bit harder than the rest, just like Natasha has been doing. 

You have to agree with her; Daisy does seem like the kind of girl that belongs in the field. 

You check in with Rhodey and make a round of calls to the Agents around the US. Things are calm, which means someone is cooking something big, and logically, everyone is beginning to go nuts. 

You go about your day. Whatever comes your way, you'll deal with it when it gets here. There's no point in worrying about things that are not in your control. 

"Want some?" Wanda asks when you enter the kitchen, and she's serving sauce on top of pasta on a plate. You were coming to fix yourself something as well, but the moment you smell the air, a smile forms on your face. 

"Is this your famous pasta and sauce I'm smelling?" You ask back as you hand her another plate, and she smiles. 

"You guys are easy to please," she says as she puts the sauce on top of the pasta, and you get a whiff of the delicious aroma of her cooking up close, and you moan to yourself. 

"Or maybe you're just an amazing cook," you tell her, and her smile turns a bit bashful. 

You take the two plates to the table as she picks up a bottle of red wine and two glasses from the shelf. 

It's been a few days, and you haven't exactly kept an eye on her like Natasha asked you to do when she left, but Wanda seems perfectly fine. You caught sight of her in the morning as she tried to go about her day with as much normalcy as you were. 

If it were a regular mission, everyone would still be tense, but it'll be 'normal.'  The job comes with high-level risks, and you all live in danger on a daily basis, even now while you sit across from Wanda, the both of you aren't completely safe. 

A mission from the White House means there are no official records because that's why their preferred agent to go to is Natasha, and you all know what that entails if things were to go south. 

She was a KGB Agent. She was an enemy of the state long before she was an ally, the Black Widow can always turn the tables, or at least that's the narrative the President would use if it came down to it. 

As it is, though, Rhodey was anxious when you talked to him earlier. His tone clipped in every word that he spoke. There's no doubt that he knows exactly the nature of the mission, but you know better than to ask questions that won't be answered. 

Sam and Bucky are doing exactly what they do when they're worried, which is to retreat to their military ways. Sam took over you in the drills, and Bucky oversaw the sparring exercises with the rest of the recruits. 

Tony has been locked in his lab since Nat and Steve left, only coming out for food and attending the necessary meetings, nothing more. Wanda cooks, she cooks a lot when she doesn't know what else to do, and you're trying to keep on going as normal as you can. 

"Be honest with me," she says as you pick up a fork and she pours the wine in the glasses, and you look up to see her face. "You think they're alright?"

The moment her eyes meet yours, you remember the exact reason why you make a habit out of avoiding spending too much time with her. It's unfair, really, the power she holds over you without even knowing. 

"You worry too much." You deflect as you take your glass and sip the wine. 

"That's what she always says." She frowns, and suddenly, the mouthwatering smell of her cooking doesn't seem so appetizing anymore.  

"We would know if things went wrong. Isn't that the whole point of sending them both in? The russian spy and the golden boy aren't exactly subtle news."

She purses her lips in anger at your Government and how manipulative they are, but the worrisome in her eyes is undeniable. 

"You asked me to be honest."

"I did." Her accent comes out sounding harsh and cutting in her bothered state, and an idea occurs to you. 

"Look, I know I can't ask you not to worry or even lie to you and say that things will be alright because that's a prayer more than a fact in our line of work. But I can be here with you, and I can try to keep your mind off of it if you'd like."

She looks at you as if analyzing you and you let her even though her eyes are made of the most beautiful color, and you're positively distracted by her whole face. 

"She asked you to look out for me, didn't she?" She asks, and you smile, although the color of her eyes continues to distract you.

"Can you blame her? You really do worry too much."

"And you don't seem to worry at all."

Her words catch you by surprise, although her tone remains kind when she speaks, meaning she's only curious and not upset, at least not with you.

"What's the point in worrying about something that you can't control?" You counter her question with one of your own, and she looks away, finally picking up her glass of wine, drinking a generous sip from it before meeting your stare again.

"What's the point in deed? Let's eat, this sauce is no good cold."

Her cooking is, as always, splendid, and you spend the rest of dinner talking about your inability to boil water.

By the time you're picking up the dishes, you realize that you're having fun, and conversation with Wanda is not as terrifying as you once thought it could be.

…

August 2nd

You wake up to find Fury sitting on the small couch you keep in your room, and you almost have a heart attack.

"You sleep like a baby," he says. "Like a drugged baby."

"You have a mission for me? Please, tell me there's a mission and you weren't just being a creep."

"There's a mission," he says as he hands you a black folder. You take the folder from his hand as you sit upon your bed and rub the sleep off your face.

"Son of a bitch." You gasp the moment you see the first page.

Hudson, Fury found Hudson.

"I thought you'd like that," he says as he stands up. "Just wanted to see the look on your face when you saw it."

"I'm running this." You tell him, and it's not a question, but he still nods as you stand up as well.

"Of course you are. You thought I was just gonna come here and give you that folder for nothing? Come on! You have ten minutes to prep."

Ten minutes later, you're geared up and ready to go, and Fury is waiting for you in the hanger next to Bucky and Wanda.

"We need him alive," Fury says the moment you're close enough, and you're already nodding. "This is no joke. The only reason why I'm giving you this is because I'm a man of my word."

"I know." You nod again, and he pins you down with a hard glare.

"Alive." He enunciates right in your face, and you roll your eyes. "However, you use whatever means to capture him. What happens in the field -"

"- stays in the field." The three of you finish for him, and he hums to himself, all the while pinning you with a glare.

"We got this," you tell him as Bucky boards the jet, and Wanda laughs to herself as she follows him.

"You better." Fury declares, and with that, you follow your teammates.

…

Hudson has slipped through your fingers more times than you're willing to admit out loud at this point, so you keep that to yourself as you explain to Bucky and Wanda who Hudson is.

"So he's your friend?" Wanda asks, and you're tempted to groan, but the confused look on her face is way too much for you to handle, so you look away quickly.

"Was. He was my friend." You correct her, and they're not subtle at all when they exchange a look.

"Spill," Bucky says.

"I just did. He and I were partners, he abandoned me when we retrieved an expensive object from the Caribians and I haven't seen him since."

"I get the feeling that you're oversimplifying things for us," Wanda says, and her accent makes you want to smile. It doesn't come out that often anymore, but it leaves you feeling like this when it does.

You can't like her accent this much; it's unhealthy.

"I trusted the guy." You admit without looking at either one of them. "I trusted him and he left me in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by enemies because of money."

"Wait," Bucky says, but you don't look at him. "Hudson. Australian accent? About five four, brunette? Ridiculously bad at poker?"

"You know him." You look at him, and Bucky huffs a smile as he continues to pilot the jet. 

"He sold Hydra a fake relique back in the day. He's slippery."

"I'd know." You stand up as Bucky closes in on the location, and Wanda follows your lead. 

…

You find him exactly where Fury told you he'd be, which tells you all you need to know. 

He's nursing a drink at a small bar in the outskirts of Alabama, and although your first instinct is to smash his face against the wooden counter, you sit by his side and order a local beer. 

"What took you so long?" He asks in that characteristic way of his, flashing you a smile and a wink that would be charming if you didn't know the guy as well as you do. 

"I never thought I'd see the day where you were asking for help." You thank the bartender when he comes back with your beer and Hudson's smile wavers. 

Bucky confirms the presence of a third party through your coms, and you're not surprised. You saw at least five armed men when you walked inside, and Hudson's knee continues to shake. 

"Yeah, well." He says as he downs his drink, and sweat drips down the side of his face. "I don't want to die. Fury was the last resource. I'm ready for you to take me in."

Son a bitch, you think. This clever son of a bitch. 

"Who are they?" You ask him just as you hear a gunshot in the street, and he jumps behind the bar.

Chaos erupts inside the bar when you jump behind him and grab hold of his jacket just when he's about to sprint for the back door. 

Bucky and Wanda are already engaging, and when you hear the word Hydra your entire body runs cold. 

"This is Hydra?" You ask him, and when he takes a little too long in nodding, you punch him in the face hard enough to knock him out on the spot. 

Every single one of you has a history with Hydra, and Fury knows that. 

You can hear Bucky cursing and Wanda's grunts as they fight outside while you make sure that Hudson doesn't escape. You drag his heavy ass into a closet, and there you shoot him with a sedative before you run outside to help your team. 

It's absolute chaos. God, you hate Hydra. 

You spot seven men to your left the moment you step outside, and you roll on the ground to get close to a parked car for cover. They all shoot at you, but you make quick work of them. 

Bucky is fighting too, but you catch sight of Wanda in the air; more specifically, you catch the exact moment they hit her with some sort of energy weapon to take her down. 

She loses her balance, but she doesn't crash like they were probably expecting her to. No, she turns her attention to the jet that shot her, and then she buries that jet on the ground with a single movement of her hands. 

You smile to yourself, feeling oddly proud of her, but you don't lose focus. You're still surrounded by enemies, and you make sure to keep shooting while keeping your teammates in your peripheral. 

What did Hudson do? What did he steal, and who did he sell it to? 

"Let me guess," Bucky says as he walks tiredly towards you. He sounds breathless, and his cheek has an inch-long tear, which does nothing to minimize the pissed-off look on his face. "We're his extraction, aren't we?"

"You can yell at Fury for that when we get back," you tell him, and you turn to shoot a few remaining Hydra agents when you see them pointing at Wanda, not at you. Bucky is once again fighting off two guys off of him. 

She has her back to you, and you run towards her. No, you think, not her. 

You take down four out of the five men going for her, but you run out of ammo. She's working on taking down the last jet, and they're not making it easy at all. They're shooting her with everything they have, and so is the guy to your right. 

You sprint just as the jet she's fighting collapses and explodes in a cloud of smoke, dirt, and fire. 

She turns when you're only a couple of feet away, and the bullet hits your shoulder just as her eyes meet yours. 

Her eyes widen as you listen to the unmistakable sound of Bucky's arm when he punches someone. You fall into Wanda's arms, and Bucky rushes to your side. 

"Why - why would you do that?" Wanda asks as she kneels on the ground with you in her arms. "Oh my God. Why would you do that?"

"We need to go." Bucky runs back into the bar to bring out Hudson, and you can't look away from Wanda's terrified expression. 

"Why would you do that?" She asks as tears gather in her eyes, and you try to ignore the pain and the blood on her hands. 

"You know why."

…

August, 3rd

Doctor Woo is a miracle worker. When you emerge from her regenerative chamber, you feel as if you were never shot in the first place. 

"I can't even feel where the wound should be," you tell her in wonder. 

"That's because there's not a wound anymore," she tells you with a grin as you walk backwards towards the wall mirror, trying to get a good look at your shoulder blade. 

"You're amazing," you sincerely tell her, and she takes the compliment with a subtle nod of her head. 

"Thank you. Now, let's go over a few exercises."

You follow her instructions and stretch, bend and shake your arm at her command until she's satisfied with her own work. 

…

Fury doesn't apologize, and you don't mind. He's the boss, well, your boss's boss, and you're here to do a job. 

He gave you his word a while ago that he'd let you know the moment Hudson showed up, and he delivered. Hudson is behind bars, and you were the only one injured in the mission. 

Bucky doesn't have the same perspective that you do, he gives Fury a piece of his mind, and Wanda's eyes turn red in anger, but Fury walks out in one piece. 

"You got shot, how could you just sit there and say nothing?" Tony asks you from the other side of the table, and everyone else turns their attention to you. 

"What's the point in dueling with things that already happened?" You retort, as you always do. "I'm fine now and Hudson was brought in. The mission was a success."

"And nothing else matters in your book, does it?" He bites out. 

"Nothing else should. I'm here to do my job and I know what I signed up for. If I wanted a desk job I'd get one, but I'm here."

"We were ambushed." Wanda reminds you, but you can't look at her, not after what you said - or did. "He should have sent us in there with a lot more back up and you just don't care."

"I care," you tell her as you look up at her. There's a nasty bruise on her jaw that you didn't notice before, and you wonder who got close enough to touch her. "But we're here and we're fine. Next time we do a double check before trusting Fury's whole intel."

"You don't get it," Wanda says, shaking her head. "We need to look out for one another. This isn't just a job for us, and it's time you start to realize that this is not just a work team because you're part of it now."

Bucky points at Wanda, agreeing with her as he continues to glare at you.

You stay in your seat long after they're gone, thinking about Wanda's words and what they mean.

…

August, 4th

Fury takes Hudson away, and none of you have a say in the matter. He's still the master spy, the only one with the A's under his sleeve and then his other sleeve under that one.

You're not exactly new to the team, but you still struggle with the concept of seeing it as anything more than a team. 

You have to keep your head above water, always. Nothing lasts forever. You learned all that the hard way. 

You stay out of everyone's way, and the day drags on, but eventually, you're back in your room at the end of it.

…

August, 5th

You're on your way out of the Compound when you walk by her office, and you catch sight of her because her door is wide open. She doesn't make a habit of closing her office door, you've noticed. 

You shouldn't stop, the wisest thing for you to do is keep walking, but you turn around and knock softly on her door anyway. She looks up from her laptop, and her eyes are suddenly on you… 

...you swallow as you lean casually on her door frame. 

"Hey," you say, and she raises a single eyebrow at you. 

"You going out?" She points at the car keys in your hands, and you jingle them before clearing your throat. 

"Yeah, I am. There's a whole world outside of this place, you've noticed?" She smiles, and you look down.

Ridiculous, you think to yourself. You're ridiculous and a mess when you're alone with her. 

"And a lot of people have opinions too. Keep an eye out for those," she says, and you sigh. 

"Not everyone likes us, I'm okay with that." You shrug as she stands up, and you swallow with difficulty again because the way she looks steals your breath away - in a sense. 

Not that she's wearing anything particularly grand, but tight jeans and knee-high boots make her look -to put it simply- incredible. Not that you're objectifying her but God! 

"It's more than people just not liking us," she says as she runs a hand through her hair and pushes it back. "Maybe you just shouldn't go out alone."

"You worried about me?" You ask her, and you watch her cross her arms, her yellow cashmere sweater hugging her hips as she stretches it. 

"I think. You're kind of growing on me." She scrunches up her nose with her admission, and if you weren't a goner before, you think you definitely are now. 

"And it only took you a year and a half to get there," you tell her, and she laughs, and your stomach feels weird, and you feel like you can't breathe and - it's not fair. It's not fair at all. 

She's married, you remind yourself. She's off-limits and way out of your league. 

"Anyway," she says as she takes a deep breath and sinks her hands in the back pockets of her jeans. "Be careful if you go out. I was gonna watch a movie, you can join me if you decide to stay."

…

It's not even a question anymore, she said the words, and you knew you weren't going anywhere. 

"Oh my god!" You exclaim when you taste the popcorn, she made before you two settled in the movie room. 

"You like?" She asks with a shit-eating grin that you can't ignore. 

"Like? This popcorn is my new religion. Wanda, this is delicious."

"Like I said, easy to please." She pops one in her mouth with a self-satisfied smile, and you - you must be a masochist to be here. 

"I'm serious. What did you put in it?" You pick one popcorn to examine, but it looks just like a regular one.

"I'm not telling you my secrets," she says with a delicate laugh, and you laugh with her. 

"Is it butter?" You ask, and she huffs and rolls her eyes playfully.

"You offend me." She teases you.

"It's some kind of seasoning, isn't it?" You ask, and she hums as she picks one movie on Netflix and presses play. 

"You've watched this?" She asks, and you catch the name of the movie on the screen as you chew slowly. 

"I haven't. Is it rosemary?"

"No, it's not. You haven't watched Mean Girls?"

"I really really haven't. Is it butter? It has to be butter."

"You already asked that. You're gonna love this movie."

"Come on." You nudge her with your shoulder, and she tries to ignore you. "If you don't tell me I'm gonna assume it's butter."

"It's not," she tells you with a laugh, and your stomach does that thing it always does when she smiles, making you feel warm from the inside out.

"It's delicious," you tell her again, and she makes a show to pop one into her mouth. 

"I know," she says with fake innocence, and you don't know what it is exactly, but you have to hold back from kissing her. 

It's torture, and it's not fair. This is exactly why you usually make a point to stay out of her hair. You two click, and it's easy to spend time together, which is why you developed this crush on her in the first place a while ago. 

It's been months since the two of you hung like this, and it's easy when Natasha is home. 

"Thank you," she says out of the blue, and you frown, too preoccupied with the shape of her lips before you look into her eyes. 

"What?" You ask, and she takes your hand, and you realize that you're sitting much closer than you thought you were. "What did I do?"

Her hand is cold and much softer than you've ever dared to imagine, and you think that if she were yours, you'd never need anything more. 

"You took a bullet for me," she says, and the memory of that exchange comes back at you fully. "Thank you. I mean it."

"Of course." You shrug, and she squeezes your hand before letting it go. 

"No one has ever done that for me," she says as an afterthought, and you're caught staring at her profile. 

"I'd take a bullet for you anytime." The line is cheesy, and she smiles, and you blush. 

"Anytime?" She teases you as you laugh at your own embarrassment. 

But her eyes pull you in, and you have to swallow all the things that you wish you could say out loud. 

Yes, you conclude, you're a masochist. She's a hammer, and you just love the way she hurts. 

"If it means you're safe? Yes, anytime."

There's a moment, or you think there's a moment when she seems to be about to say something back, but she swallows her words instead. 

You end up watching the movie in silence, both sitting on opposite sides of the couch and the bowl of popcorn forgotten in the middle. 

…

August 6th

You're in the middle of your usual workout when Wanda walks inside the gym accompanied by Daisy, both looking ready to work out. 

"Wow, you're here." Daisy smiles when she sees you, and you pick up your towel from the bench as you sit up. You were just finishing your abs routine anyway. "Abs." She adds, motioning to all of you, and you find yourself smiling as you press the towel to the back of your neck. 

"Sorry, I'm not usually this awkward. I promise." She rushes to explain.

"I'll take your word on that." You smile, and she blushes, visibly so. When you look at Wanda, she's staring at Daisy with a subtle frown on her forehead. 

"I'm supposed to train in here today," Daisy says conversationally, and Wanda finally looks over to you. 

She has her arms crossed over her chest, and you catch her working her jaw as if she were bothered. 

"Natasha left instructions," she says, and her accent is very prominent when she speaks. You know she slips on her accent only when she's feeling emotional, and you instantly feel bad. 

You have to stop saying things that make her uncomfortable. She's married, and you can't just go about telling her how you'd take a bullet for her again. 

"Wanna spar with me?" Daisy asks you, and the smile on her face is a little contagious, so you have no trouble returning it. 

"Let's do it." You motion for her to follow you to the mats, all the while trying not to look directly at Wanda. 

This is exactly why you kept your distance for a long while. When you're alone with her, you can't help yourself, and you always end up saying stupid things that make her uncomfortable and that are way out of line. 

You take off your shoes and work on stretching your neck and shoulders before you turn around to meet your sparring partner, but Daisy is sitting on the bench, and Wanda is waiting for you on the other end of the mats.

You swallow with difficulty but walk towards the center to meet her halfway anyway. 

"Intimidated already?" You ask Daisy. She bites her lower lip as she shakes her head, not giving anything away. 

"She can watch for now," Wanda says, her voice making you look at her instantly. 

Should you apologize? That'd be even more uncomfortable for the both of you, wouldn't it?

Before you can say anything, she comes at you, throwing a punch that you barely avoid. You look at her in surprise, and she cocks her head to the side, a smug grin appearing on her lips as she challenges you. 

It's been months since the last time you two spar together. You're practically strangers, and you're not sure of what to expect from her.

You round her, observing her fighting stance, which is much more confident than it used to be. When she comes for you again, you're ready, and it's not difficult to avoid her attacks when you're focused. 

You block her punches and roll backward away from her kicks, but you don't attack her just yet. She's relentless, though, and soon she grows irritated, and you only know it because of the crinkle that appears in her forehead without her consent. 

"Really?" She asks, annoyed when you once again roll away from her without doing anything to defend yourself.

"Someone's been practicing," you tell her, and she breaks from her stance to look at you dead in the eyes. 

"My wife insists I do," she says, and there's something in the way she says it. My wife, as if she knows with certainty what she's doing to you. 

"Your wife's taught you well," you tell her, and for a moment alone, she seems to be glaring at you.

You don't know what's happening, but the next time she attacks you, you tackle her to the ground. She gasps when her back hits the mats, the air leaving her lungs as she looks up at you in surprise. 

"There are a few things you still need to learn though." She's breathing hard, her glare making you want to flinch back where you're standing. 

You leave the gym without looking back, and it's only when you get to your room that you realize how badly you're shaking. 

Of course, she knows; you practically told her you'd die for her last night. What the hell were you thinking?

… 

August 7th

"I don't want to be alone," she says the moment you open your door. 

It's four am, and when someone knocked on your door, you never thought it'd be her. 

"Did something happen?" You ask as you rub the sleep off your eyes, and she walks inside your bedroom without waiting for an invitation. 

"I just -" She says as you turn to look at her, but she doesn't finish her sentence. 

"You okay?" You ask her because she seems nervous, as if on the edge of panic, and you don't know what to do. 

"I'm fine." She closes her eyes in frustration, and you watch as she licks her lips, and shakes her head, and doesn't seem to get her ideas straight enough to tell you what she's doing in your bedroom at four am. 

"You sure you're fine?" You ask her, and, taking a deep breath, she looks at you. 

"I know why you avoid me so much," she says, and you swallow with difficulty. 

Your back stiffens as if a bucket of ice-cold water just fell on you, and you can't look away from her eyes. 

"Of course you do." You clear your throat, refusing to overthink this. "I think I told you myself last night."

"Well, that and the little fact that you took a bullet for me." The sound of her voice is meant to be light, you can see her trying, but nothing about this is light or easy for you either way.

She's a married woman, and you've seen her and Natasha together, and you know that nothing can ever get in between them. Not that you want to either, you'd rather see her happy from the outside than hurt her in any way.

Love like that, like the one they share, is so rare to see, let alone easy to find.     

"Look, Wanda -"

"I like you." She cuts you off, and the revelation should make you elated, but it only serves to confuse you. 

"You like me." You say the words out loud, and your stomach flutters against your better judgment. "You like me?"

"I know I shouldn't and I know it's wrong." She rushes to explain. "I shouldn't have said anything."

She's panicking, and your brain is not catching up fast enough. She's about to cry, and she's about to run out when you finally react and close your door before she can make a run for it. 

"Hold on." You ask her with a gentle hand on her arm. "It's okay."

She looks troubled as if confessing this has to mean something, and you know well that it doesn't. The last thing you ever want to do is get in between her marriage, and liking isn't feelings; liking is easy to get over. 

"Is it?" She asks you, her eyes locking you in, and you'd be lying if you said that you weren't dying to kiss her but - 

"It is." You assure her with a smile that you hope is calming. "Look, we're attractive. Attraction happens, it's human but it doesn't have to mean anything." 

For a moment, your words hang in the air, and then she chuckles, and you can breathe easily again. As stupid as that was to say you accomplished what you wanted, she's laughing, and things are not yet awkward. 

"You know," she says, and when she licks her lips again, you can't help but feel thirsty, and you know how absolutely ridiculous that sounds in your own head. "That actually helps. You're right."

"So you're good now?" You ask her with a smile, still trying to get past this. "You're not freaking out anymore?"

"Stop that," she says, but the smile on her lips is gorgeous, and you know you want nothing more out of life. "I wasn't freaking out. Maybe a little. I'm fine now."

"That's good." You nod while you hold her stare, and while her eyes flicker, she licks her lips, and you know there's something else she wants to say. 

"I'm gonna go," she says with the enthusiasm of someone who definitely wants to stay. 

"Okay." You nod, but she doesn't move, and neither do you. 

You want, and you want, and the way she looks at you makes you believe that maybe she wants the same thing. 

"I was jealous," she says out of the blue, and you frown in confusion. 

"What?" 

"Daisy likes you and she's not subtle at all, and I was jealous. I have no right to be, I know, but I was jealous because she didn't have to hide it."

She leaves, and you stand exactly where she left you for a long while, not being able to move or think past her last sentences. 

You can't sleep after she leaves, and you don't see her at all for the rest of the day. 

…

August 8th

Entering Tony's lab, you realize that you aren't the only one he called in here. 

"Have you ever heard of the word punctuality?" He asks you, and you head right over to him to plant a loud kiss on his cheek. 

"You need to shave," you tell him, and you can hear Sam softly laughing. 

"You were supposed to be here twenty minutes ago," Tony says, completely ignoring your suggestion as you move closer to the small lounge area he has in his lab. 

"I was in the gym when your text came in. I wasn't gonna come in all sweaty and gross."

"What's wrong with being sweaty and gross?" Bucky asks as he walks in too. 

"Have you ever heard of the word punctuality?" Tony asks him, and you and Sam laugh out loud, while Bucky just shrugs, offering no excuse whatsoever. 

"What's this all about anyway?" Sam asks Tony, and you finally take a look to where Wanda has been sitting in complete silence since you walked in. 

You go over to her and take the empty seat next to hers, and the old leather couch cracks loudly under your weight, which makes her smile as she looks at you.

"That was totally this old thing," you tell her, and she tucks her hair behind an ear as she looks away, nodding her head. 

"Don't worry," she says, and Tony clears his throat rather loudly. 

He launches into a detailed explanation about the technology he uses to power your suits and special gadgets, but you hear none of it. 

No, you're too preoccupied staring at Wanda and thinking about the last thing she told you. 

The last couple of days have been a whirlwind, to say the least, and you're certain of one thing only, you don't want to lose her friendship. This is enough. Being her friend is enough, but not seeing her completely will devastate you. 

"What?" She asks you with a tone meant to be exasperated, but the small smile on her lips doesn't fool you. 

"I didn't see you yesterday," you tell her, and she looks at her lap. She's troubled, and you can see it clearly. 

"You missed me?" She asks you after a beat, a cute grin pulling at the corners of her lips as she looks at you. 

"Yeah." You nod, your eyes falling to her lips for a second. "Always."

"Excuse me?" Tony's annoyed voice reaches your ears, and you look at him. "Did you listen to a thing I just said?"

"You updated our uniforms, starboy. We have to take care of them. We all hear you."

The boys laugh, and Wanda hides her smile behind her hand as Tony glares daggers at you. 

"You're not funny," he tells you, and you blow him a kiss. 

"Then why is everyone else laughing?" You ask him, and he rolls his eyes at you. 

"We were listening," Wanda tells him, and his glare turns to her. "You updated our uniforms and the communications line now has a wider range."

"They do have a wider range." He points the pen he's holding at her, and he goes back to explain the details that none of you can actually understand. Well, maybe Sam can, a little. 

After what feels like an eternity and you've all tried the new gadgets, you walk out of his lab. 

"Hey, wanna grab lunch?" You ask Wanda as the boys walk ahead of you. She hesitates for a second, but then she nods her head, and you go to the elevator. 

She's quiet in the elevator ride towards the garage, uncharacteristically so. But you watch her through the mirror wall, and she's looking down at the floor, her fingers playing with each other as if to consciously avoid meeting your stare. 

You don't know what goes through her mind, and you don't attempt to know either. You can do this, and nothing has to change. 

She knows about your feelings, and although she confessed to being physically attracted to you, nothing has to change. Wanting her and loving her is enough. 

She doesn't look at you when you walk the small path towards your car, not even when you get in first. She's nervous and conflicted. 

"Get in," you tell her softly, and the moment she meets your gaze - something changes.

She smiles softly at you, and she drops her hands, and you watch her take a deep breath and surround the car to get in the passenger seat. 

It's unfair how beautiful she is; it truly is torture for you. You're not able to look away as she walks, as she smiles, as she just - exists. 

You take her to a little restaurant a couple of miles south of the Compound that you frequent. She hasn't been in, and when you order two of your favorites, the smile on her face returns, truly returns. 

She's all smiles as you talk and talk, and she listens with a smile that does inexplicable things to you. 

You could watch her smile from afar, and you know it'd be enough. 

By the time you're driving back home, she's telling you about a new recipe she wants to try, and when you say goodbye, you might be a little more in love with her. 

…

August 9th

You're walking by the kitchen when you catch sight of Wanda dancing softly by the stove. She must think there's no one around because she's bobbing her head and holding a wooden spoon to her mouth as if it were a microphone and you're positively smitten by her. 

The mere image that should be embarrassing only manages to endear her to you, and you can't help but walk towards her. 

You recognize the song playing softly through the speakers the closer you get, and when she sees you, she jumps backward, her cheeks tainted red and a gasp leaving her parted lips. 

There's a moment when you're about to burst out laughing, and she's looking at you in horror that you'll make fun of her, but then the chorus to 'Living on a prayer,’ comes up, and both of you sing loudly to it. 

You dance around her, and she follows you with a smile on her face as you both sing, and dance and when the song ends, she's laughing, and you are too. 

"We should totally host a karaoke night," you tell her, and her smile, God! Her smile makes your heart flutter, and you don't know how to breathe properly. 

"Yeah, that was fun." She nods as her eyes drop to your lips for a moment. 

You can't breathe because you could have this kind of fun all the time if you had only met her before Natasha did. 

But you didn't, and you have no right to be thinking like this, none. You can daydream about kissing her, but you can't feel like this; it's not fair. 

But then she kisses you, and you're not prepared at all. 

The sudden touch of her lips against yours makes you flinch back, and she's looking just as scared as you feel. 

A moment passes, and she doesn't look away from you, so when you lean towards her, she meets you halfway. 

You kiss her, and a tidal wave of emotions travels through your body, making your lungs feel tight, and your hands begin to shake as they grip her waist. She pulls you closer, her hands on your nape pulls and pulls until you're pressing her body between the counter and yours. 

You've heard about the clichés and even experienced one or two yourself, but you've never experienced them all at the same time. 

When Wanda parts her lips and your tongues meet in a deeper and more sensual kiss, fireworks erupt behind your eyelids, your stomach begins to flutter, and you can hear a light song playing softly just for you to hear. Everything is there, every single cliché, and everything else disappears. 

Suddenly it's just the two of you alone in a world where no one can come in and bother you, nothing else exists, and it's a scary sensation but passionate too. It's exciting and sweet. 

It's a perfect kiss. 

And you realize that wanting won't be enough after this moment. 

When you pull back to get some much-needed air, her eyes are still closed, and you're not sure how you're going to be able to move on from this. 

She makes the choice for both of you, though. She pushes you away, lightly and then she practically runs out of the kitchen. 

You stand there for a long while, just thinking and still feeling the imprint of her lips on yours, but eventually, you turn off the stove and leave too. 

…

August 10th 

It's two-thirty in the morning when your phone rings, and you wake up quickly, but you don't catch the call. When you go to check who called, your phone doesn't show a missed call. 

Natasha. It's an old trick you used once before. 

"Friday," you call out as you run out of your room. Your heart is hammering inside your chest because you know this could very well be a call for help. "Stand by, I might need you to wake everyone up."

You run towards Tony's lab, but you don't find it empty. 

"Jesus Christ!" He jumps to his feet, clutching his chest and almost losing his balance when you all but barrel inside. 

"I saw an old radio here yesterday." You run towards the back, and you find it with ease. 

"Hey, what's going on?" He asks, now more worried than scared. 

"Hold on." You raise your hand as you search for the right frequency, and just like you expected, a code begins to play. "Get me a piece of paper and a pen."

"What's going on?" He raises his voice but gets you what you need. 

The message is on repeat, so you listen and write down, and when you finally read the whole message, the air returns to your lungs, and you take in a deep breath. 

"Well?" Tony practically screams when you sit down on the floor. 

"That woman is insane." You point the pen at him, and he snatches it from your hand. 

"Tell me what's going on. Now!"

"Geez. Relax, grandpa."

"Don't call me that. I swear if you don't start talking I'm gonna -"

"It was Nat." You cut him off as you stand up, and his eyes widen. "They're fine, just unable to properly communicate right now. Mission got complicated but they haven't been made, they're safe but they'll be gone for a whole month. Or so she estimates."

"You got all that from that code?" He asks, and you grin in response.

"And without any of your gadgets." You add with an impressed look, making him roll his eyes. 

"You need to inform the wife," he tells you, and your stomach sinks for a whole different reason. 

"I know."

… 

You're standing outside Wanda's bedroom, and it's almost three am. You're considering waiting till the morning to tell her all this when her door opens from within. 

"Hey," she says when she sees you standing there. 

"Hi." You look at her, and you lose track of what exactly you're doing here because she's wearing nothing but an oversized t-shirt that barely touches her thighs and her legs seem to run on for days. 

She's so beautiful, unfairly so, and you're so nervous about being here with her because you can still feel the imprint of her lips on yours from the forbidden kiss you shared just hours ago. 

"Is everything alright?" She asks as she tucks her hair behind an ear shyly, probably after noticing you staring at her legs. 

"Right." You take a deep breath and focus on looking at her face. "Nat sent a message."

"What did she say?" She rushes to ask you and all awkwardness disappears, and she's Natasha's wife. 

"They're okay but they can't communicate properly. They're safe and they won't be back for at least a whole month."

"She's safe?" She asks with a subtle nod of her head as if to reassure herself. 

"She's safe." You still answer because it looks like she needs to hear it.

You're intently observing her, so you notice the exact moment in which she remembers you, and her eyes widen. You think she considers apologizing, but you both know that she has nothing to apologize to you for. 

"I'm gonna go," you tell her, but she grabs your arm before you can turn around.

"Wait," she says. "Stay for a bit. Let's talk."

It's only when you're sitting in one of the three couches inside that you realize that you'll never be able to tell her no. Not that you mind at the moment, but you do find yourself thinking that maybe that's a dangerous trait to have with her, especially since she's a married woman.  

You watch her pouring wine in two tall glasses in silence, perhaps considering what she should say and do, and you take the chance to look around a little bit. 

The room is bigger than yours, it's almost like a small one-bedroom apartment. It has a little living room area, a bar in the corner stuck with several bottles of wine and vodka, a small library to the left of the ensuite, and of course, the king-sized bed against the back wall. 

"Here." She hands you a glass, and you take an immediate sip if only to busy yourself with something. 

"You really like your chardonnay, huh?"

"You like it too," she says matter of factly, and you smile in response. "Don't deny it."

"Wine it's kind of our thing now. I do like it." You nod as she sits in front of you on the loveseat. 

She breathes in as if she's about to tell you something, but she's at a loss, and you hate to see her conflicted. 

"Wanda," you call her, and she looks up. "This doesn't have to mean anything."

"I know," she says, cutting you off. "I know it doesn't have to mean anything, but I was thinking -"

She trails off, and she's not looking at you. She's staring at the glass of wine in her hands as a small crinkle appears on her forehead. 

"I was thinking," she says again, and she looks back up. Her eyes lock you in as she rests her elbow on the armrest, and you're ridiculously entranced by her and the way she touches her lips softly, her eyes still on you. "Maybe it can mean something after all."

You're so caught up with watching her lips that it takes you a couple of seconds to register what she just said. 

"What?" You ask her, and it feels as if you were in a daze. 

She doesn't say anything for a beat, and you wait as she drinks her wine and puts her glass down before standing up and walking over to you. 

You're aware that you're practically frozen to your spot, but you don't really care about anything but her at this moment. 

When she sits next to you, she's nervous, you can easily pick up on her anxiousness, but when she takes the glass from your hands and sets it aside, her hands are barely shaking.

"Wanda." You gasp when she doesn't let go of your hand, and she moves to sit closer to you, on her side, her leg tucked under as she looks into your eyes. 

"You think it can mean something, for now?" She asks, and you lose your breath, thinking that maybe you're imagining all of this. 

But seeing into her eyes, you're more sure than ever before that you can't say no to her, not even for this, for what you believe she's asking of you. 

You nod softly but without a doubt that you want her. Whatever she wants to give, you want it. 

She smiles timidly but what she does next is the complete opposite. She's still holding your hand, and when she moves it, you're still looking into her eyes. 

She leads your hand between her legs, letting you feel the soft skin of her thighs before you realize that she's not wearing anything beneath that t-shirt. 

You quickly realize that whatever will happen between the two of you will not be pretty. The second you feel how wet she is, the thought comes to you, and you know you'll end up hurt and devastated from whatever happens. 

Still, that first touch of her makes her whimper softly and her hips back into your hand as her thighs fall open, spreading herself wide for you. And that whimper, that little breathy whimper she lets out, imprisons you. 

She's holding onto your wrist as you run your fingers down her slit, only to gather her wetness before running them back up to graze her clit, making her gasp and feel as if she can't breathe. 

Hot desire coils in your belly with the sounds she's making, and you begin to throb in your own craving to be touched back. 

She closes her eyes when she can no longer keep them on you, and you find yourself gasping for breath too. 

You quickly move, falling to the ground on your knees and taking your hand back. That makes her open her eyes in a frenzy, only to find you kneeling right in front of her. 

You pull her towards the edge, hands on her bare waist, and since she's not really wearing anything between her legs. Getting there with your mouth is not a difficult task at all. 

You kiss her thighs first, and her breathing turns erratic, her hands touch your shoulders, your hands, she pulls lightly at your hair, and you smile to yourself. 

When you finally put your mouth on her, you feel her tensing, and you take in a moment to take it all in. 

This is happening, you're really here, and this is happening. 

You lick a path down her slit before pressing your tongue against her opening, hard and bringing your tongue back up. Her hips buck, and she's gripping your hair hard, even more so when your tongue finds her clit, and you round it before sucking on it. 

She's too worked up, she was already wet when you first touched her, and it only takes you a couple of minutes to make her cum in your mouth. 

You feel it happening slowly, her body comes to a halt, and she seems to stop breathing, and these delicious tiny whimpers leave her parted lips, over and over again. 

You kiss her thighs, your hands still holding onto her waist under the t-shirt, but it only takes her a moment to pull herself back together, and then she's pulling you towards her to kiss you fully and ardently. 

She wraps her arms around you as you kiss her with bruising enthusiasm, and you push your hips between her legs, making her wrap her legs around you before standing up. 

You don't stop kissing, and she's surprisingly light to lift. You walk blindly to her bed, and when you fall on top of her in the soft mattress, she laughs as you pull back slightly. 

"You're a great kisser," she says with a glint in her eyes and raw kissed pink lips. Something about the moment makes you want to freeze it, save the look in her eyes in your memory forever. 

"Wanda," you say her name, and she kisses you again. 

This time she pulls at your sleeping shirt until you sit up and take it off completely before attaching your lips to her neck.

She moans when your hips buck against hers, and you're cupping her breasts, sucking on her neck, and pushing your hips against hers when she runs her nails down your back, scratching you lightly, and you have to pull back. 

The sensation of her nails on your back have you losing your breath. You're shivering even as she smiles at you and sits up in front of you. 

With a light push, she has you on your back, her hands pulling down your sleeping pants and panties without preamble. 

"You okay?" She asks you as she throws your clothes to the floor, and you sit up too. 

"Yes," you tell her, and although you're starting to feel like you can't breathe, you really do feel okay. 

"You sure?" She asks in a whisper as she pushes you lightly again, and she lays on top of you. 

You gasp in a breath when you feel her naked body pressing against yours. Her breasts, her belly, her legs, and her lips kissing the corner of your lips as she waits for an answer. 

"I'm sure." You nod, and she kisses you hungrily. There's no build-up for this kiss, just underrated want, and you respond in kind. 

You try to keep your eyes open as she kisses every inch of your body, and as she squeezes your breasts before taking a nipple in her mouth, you begin to believe that you might not make it out alive. 

It's a ridiculous thought, of course, but she's everything you've ever wanted, and having her do these ungodly things to you is slowly driving you insane. And when she's planting delicate kisses on your belly, her hands spreading your legs for her, you truly believe that you might pass out. 

Instead, you watch her lick a path down your navel and then her tongue disappearing between your folds, and the sensation of her wet hot breath coming in contact with your heat makes you shiver and buck your hips involuntarily. 

She chuckles lightly, her hands coming to grip your hips to keep them in place, and you feel yourself blushing. 

"I haven't even started yet." She smiles, but she doesn't let you speak before her mouth is once again in you, her tongue dipping and forcing itself inside of you. 

She's so warm, her tongue so skilled, and you find yourself cumming much faster than you ever thought you would. 

You keep your eyes closed as a tidal wave of blinding pleasure washes over you. You feel her pressing her lips on your thighs, her hands on your waist, and then she removes herself completely from you. 

You hear her bathroom door close, and you let out a deep breath. 

Not knowing what to do until she gets back, you pick up your clothes and get dressed quickly. You don't know what to do or what to think once you're fully dressed again. 

Was this a one-time thing? Is she freaking out in the bathroom? Is she waiting for you to leave? 

What does it mean?

"Hey," she says, and you haven't noticed the bathroom door opening. You didn't even see her coming out. 

"Hey," you say it back, and she's wearing a top now and a pair of sweats. 

God! She's still the most beautiful woman you've ever seen, and you're pretty sure that you're in love with her, irrevocably so, but she's still married, and you still did something wrong here. 

"Sorry, I just needed to use the bathroom." She says with an awkward smile. She's picked up her hair in a messy ponytail, and it looks like she's washed her face, and all you want to do is walk up to her and kiss her again. 

"It's okay," you tell her. "I should go anyway." You say, and she walks up to you slowly, as if she's expecting you to bolt, and she's biting her bottom lip in a way that to you is now so intimate. 

"I'm not throwing you out," she says, and before you know how to properly react, her hands are on your shoulders, running up to your neck and down again. 

Her touch has an instant effect on you, and you don't know how she does it. You don't know how she can have this much power over you, over your body, and over the way you react to her, mentally and physically. 

You feel yourself relax, the tension on your shoulders dropping with each stroke of her hands, and the doubts that were swirling in your head quiet down the longer she looks at you with her big rounded eyes. 

"You can stay. You should, actually." She says with humor, and you smile, your hands coming to rest on her waist instinctively. "You don't want me to think you regret this, don't you?"

"I don't." You shake your head. "I don't regret it."

"Good," she says. "Neither do I."

… 

[mikachacha]

𝚅𝚊𝚖𝚙𝚒𝚛𝚎 (𝙰𝚌𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜! 𝙱𝚊𝚍𝚊 𝙻𝚎𝚎 𝚡 𝙰𝚌𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜! 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛)

Synopsis: You have to work with Bada, your ex who cheated on you

T.W.: manipulation, deceit, angst, cursing, mentions of cheating

A/N: I'm back bitches with another angsty shit 🥹

You thought you'd be okay working with Bada 6 months after your breakup but coming to work and having to interact with her every single day makes you want to walk out and scream from the pain you're still feeling. It doesn't help that you're doing a drama and it involves cheating on her part. You couldn't help but laugh bitterly at how the universe is really fucking you over. The thing you're acting out is how things happened between you and Bada. So you're basically reenacting all the pain you've gone through for the paycheck and for everyone's enjoyment.

"Y/N? Can we talk? The next scene we're doing.. I-" Bada approached you and you just looked at her, trying your best to not look too affected.

"Oh don't worry, I can handle the scene just fine. I'm pretty sure you'll give a stellar performance as well." you cut her off and she was about to say something when the director announced for everyone to be on their mark as the filming would start.

"1..2..3.. Action!" that was your cue and you approached Bada, you couldn't hold back any longer as all the painful memories came crashing back like it was just yesterday when your world crumbled as you found out Bada has been cheating on you with multiple women on the course of your 3 year relationship.

"You said it was true love.. But wouldn't that be hard?" you approached her, you're aware that your eyes are welling up with tears already. You weren't acting anymore at this point and you didn't care.

"You can't love anyone, 'cause that would mean you had a heart.." you laughed bitterly and you could see Bada's expression becoming grim as she held back from saying something while the cameras were still rolling. She took a deep breath and placed her hands firmly on your shoulders, staring you down.

"Listen, let me explain to you-" she says and you shrug her hands off and look up at her, some tears fell down your cheeks but you still had that defiant look in your eyes.

"I tried to help you out, but now I know that I can't!" The staff and the director looked at you both, it was definitely not in the script but the raw emotions and the lines being thrown is definitely much better than what was originally written.

"'Cause how you think's the kind of thing I'll never understand.." you wiped your tears away and slapped her hand when she tried to reach for you. Bada could feel her heart sink and shatter as she sees your tears. She knew she fucked up so bad but she still loves you.

"What? You've got nothing to say now?! Blame it on some shit just to take the blame away from you?!" your heart is racing, you could feel your hands become sweaty as you looked at Bada. She looked hurt and broken, something you've been craving ever since she fucked you over.

"Jagiya.. I made some real big mistakes, I know. I hid those things from you because I know they would hurt you!" Bada says and her reasoning just made you angrier.

"I should've known it was strange that you only call me at night because you're so damn busy fucking other girls during daytime!" you could hear murmuring from the other cast members and staff, one even suggesting to cut the scene but you didn't care anymore.

"I'm sorry.. Please.. Forgive me.. I thought what I did was smart because I didn't wanna hurt you, jagiya.. Please forgive me." her voice sounded so broken and full of regret. You didn't dare glance at her, scared that you might fall right back into her trap and get hurt once more. You removed your hands from her hold and stepped back from her.

"You made me look so naive! And don't you fucking dare call me jagiya! After all those things you did?! And you didn't wanna hurt me? Oh please.. You and I both know you're just saving your cheating ass for being exposed." your tears continued to fall as well as hers but you weren't backing down.

"Aren't you ashamed? Don't you feel the slightest twinge of guilt whenever you tell me you love me but still have the audacity to cheat on me, multiple times?!" you yelled and Bada got up, her hands were back on your shoulders, forcing you to look at her and to listen.

"I didn't mean for those things to happen! I really didn't mean to hurt you like this.." Bada says and before anyone could react, you had slapped her already.

"You didn't mean to? Don't bullshit me! You're a fucking liar!" you were about to storm off when she pulled you back by the wrist and held you in her arms, making you sob uncontrollably.

"I still love you.. I still do.. It never went away.." you could hear her faint voice as she just held you in her arms, both of you crying.

Everything felt like a blur, you can't remember what happened after that but here you are, face to face with the director along with Bada.

"I don't know what went on between both of you though I hope it won't affect our production too much. As much as I love what happened earlier, the improvisation was perfect! I'm pretty sure people will see it and think it's the most realistic scenes but I think it's something personal between you and Y/N. It's up to you both if you want to give us rights to use that or we can reshoot if you're not comfortable." The director says and Bada looks at you like she was waiting for your decision.

"It's okay if you use that. As you have said, you think it's perfect." you spoke and didn't look at Bada since you know you'd start crying again if you do.

"If it's okay with Y/N then I'm okay with it." Bada finally says and with both your consent, that confrontation was included in the drama.

As predicted, it was easily the most memorable scene in the drama, it even earned awards due to how realistic and raw the emotions were. You couldn't help but think if people knew the story behind that, would they see it differently other than just acting?

[fictionallover12]

Making you fall again

Bonten x reader

(Art not mine)

Sanzu was trying to call y/ns phone but she wasn't answering.

Of course who would answer to there husband's call after knowing there husbands cheated on them.

"she isn't picking up"sanzu was worrying about you not picking his calls or the other bonten members calls.

"she isn't answering mine also"rindou threw his phone on the table before resting his head on it disappointed in himself for sleeping with another woman or multiple to be exact.

"Mr and Mrs l/n aren't also picking up"Koko threw his expensive phone against the wall angry and annoyed with himself for what he had done.

Last night was a mess the bonten members decided to have a party and invented strippers and of course drugs and alcohol was involved.

All they remember was your face filled with tears last night then the morning text you send in the morning saying "Im leaving" and your location was unknown they didn't know where was she.

Mikey look at his executives "have you guys found her yet" Mikey already knew the answer but all he got was a shake of the seven heads of his executives making him lower his further down making his back arch more.

While with y/n

Y/n was at the train station ready to board the tarin while her parents was keeping an eye on her looking if she already boarded the train or not.

Y/n felt so heartbroken from her lover's betrayal she thought they were different from they were before they promise they change but she guess they didn't they will always will sleep with somebody else even if they were in a relationship just like there other exes.

As she got inside the plane and was ready to take off y/n look out of the window seeing her parents who were waving at her,she waved back she saw her mother having small tears running down her face.

Y/ns mother wanted her to stay but they both know if she stay bonten will still find her and they don't know what they will do if they found her hiding from them.

Y/n sat back comfortable in her seat as she waited for her ride to be over.

It has been a week since y/n left and bonten was going crazy if anything they saw or hear resembles something about you making them think if you they will instantly destroy it or kill it.

And in there crazynest was through the roof,Mikey kept himself lock up in his room,sanzus drug addiction gotten worst,kakucho was having flashback of you and him laughing and smiling having fun while loving each other that didn't help him not a single bit,ran and rindou were rarely home all they did was party, go clubbing, drinking and sleeping with prostitute but even if they were sleeping with virgins they couldn't replace you,your the only one who can please there needs give them the proper pleasure they needed,Koko buried himself in work making money more and more but even if he kept himself busy he couldn't stop thinking about you making himself cry while typing his laptop,takeomi quit smoking because you said he wouldn't be alive for you guys to have family but now he change it feels like he never runs out of cigarettes to smoke, dangerous smoke to fill up his lungs forgetting all the words you have said to him to stop smoking,mochi was on a killing spree he killed everybody who angry him which was everyone he destroyed all the things who reminded of him of you.

And you will you weren't any better,you were a mess you didn't bother to get up from bed having to energy to do so,and your parents kept on checking up on you but you turn off your phone .everyday you got money sent by your parents but you rarely even even eat so the money just pealed up in your bank account.

Y/n was having her sobbing session in the bedroom every night she cried waiting for some kind of warmth to hug her like everytime she cried the sweet words she would hear making her mind go on ease kisses that would burn through her skin with love and care but they didn't felt it she didn't hear it all she felt was coldness all she heard was silent and her echoing of her sobs through the room of the small cabin in the forest.

Koko was working on his laptop one day he didn't know what start up inside of him he decided to check on your GPS.

His eyes go wide so wide that it almost pop out of his eye socket.

He saw your GPS moving the red light was moving in diversity Tokyo plaza mall.

Koko hurriedly got up and ran to sanzus room where he was lock up all day,he fish out his phone out his pocket texting the other bonten members that he found you and sent your location.

Koko bang his fist on sanzus door "sanzu hurry and ready the car" Koko ran again down and across the hall where Mikey's room was.

"Mikey!,Mikey!,I found her I found her hurry up and get out"Koko yelled from outside his room.

As soon as Mikey heard it he immediately run to the door opening seeing a panting Koko who run upstairs.

Mikey push Koko out of the way running towards the garages mansion to get in on one of the luxury cars that they own.

As they both arrive at the garage sanzu was already ready but was still high, confuse and irritated on why Koko had to disturb him.but his confusion and irritation go away as soon as he heard from Koko saying he knows where you are.

Sanzu was driving like maniac not stopping at red lights and driving pass other cars making them honk at him but he didn't even give a single fuck about them his only focus on you.

Mochi was having a hard time trying to keep up with sanzus driving.

The other bonten members receive the text from Koko from the group chat and just like Mikey and sanzu as soon as they saw the message they drop everything and just run mochi pick up the others who was still trying to follow the car sanzu was driving.

As bonten arrive at the mall Koko took out the iPad that display the the red dot that was you.

While you,you were holding bags of clothes you decided to got this time and decided to give yourself some me time you got your nails done and you got your hair done that's was now in waves.

Y/n was just walking around the mall holding a ice cream in the other hand while the other hold the paper bags.

The bonten members followed where the red dot went and there eyes sparkle as they saw your back the knew it was you you were wearing a backless dress and between your shoulder blades sit a bonten tattoo.

"y/n"as soon as y/n heard her name and a familiar voice she turn her head slowly and show Mikey who look worst then ever and behind him was seven figures that was sanzu,kakucho,takeomi,Koko,mochi,and the haitani brothers.

Y/n drop the ice cream in shock and her feet start moving in a fast movement she was running away from them and to the exit of the mall.

As soon as they saw her running they also took off and run after her.

A chase.

[citizensun]

Queerness and the House of Usher (spoilers!)

See I just added these Thoughts to the tags in @quecksilvereyes 's post but now I have Feelings too

TFotHoU (or HoU, as I will refer to it here), as expected from a Mike Flannagan show, has a bunch of Queer Rep™ to talk about. HoU is, also, about remarkably evil people - amoral capitalists who'll step over anyone if it means they'll get something from it. And look! Some of them are queer! Kinky too!

That's bad queer representation... right?

The show isn't that clear when stablishing sexualities, but we see that at least three of the Usher kids - Napoleon, Camille and Victorine - have same sex SOs/assistants with curious job descriptions. Prospero's taste for orgies probably implies queerness too, but honestly I don't remember if he gets it going with any guys in the story. I honestly have no idea about Tamerlane's voyerism thingie and Frederick is the only one with a "traditional family" going on.

Unrelated, but: Leo is definitely cheating on his bf Julius. Completely dismissing about his worries for him too. And for his cat. That's objectively evil, clearly. Vic literally killed her fiancée Alessandra, though she didn't stuff her under the floorboard, which is an L when compared to Poe's original. Cam doesn't believe in true love. Perry blackmailed his sister in law. Mean. He's also got a surprisingly high kill count for the family's disappointment, but since unlike Roderick he only killed rich people, we stan. I don't belong in Kinky spaces so I haven't got a big take on Tammie, only that - well, she's completely dismissing of her husband and sees him as a prop, just like the sex worker she hires.

Huh.

See, the nature of a story called "the fall of X family" is that X family is going to be the main character. The title kinda implies that they're falling for a reason, ergo, they're despicable fucking people. And they're queer! They're very queer. Many flavors of gay. They're the main characters, and they're monsters, and they're gay.

No, that's not bad rep.

Queerness as a movement, a community and a theory is very focused on scaping a cisheteronormative society's binaries (ie man/woman, husband/wife, public/private) and creating living conditions to those who fall outside of these categories - mlms and wlws, the trans, the nbs, the aros and aces... we are all queer, strange and estranged from this weird and limited worldview. And so we create a community for ourselves. It's very focused on care and anti-stablishment. Since a cisheteronormative society tends to be very white, rich and western, it's also focuses on anti-racism, anti-capitalism, anti-imperialism. Y'all know that, this is Tumblr and we love leftist Discourse.

I also know many, many gay people irl who are not like that at all. Libertarians, anarcho-capitalists, terfs, completely apolitical people and the like. Sexuality at it's core is personal, not political, so there are gay people out there who are perfectly comfortable with their sexuality on an individual level but do not see the point of getting involved in the broader context. They're queer, but are they...?

Well—

Not to mention there's lots of asshole gays out there! Don't you have a shitty ex? Have you never been almost run over by a drunken butch who blew cigar smoke into your face? I have! Life experiences are just like that. Maybe you should touch more grass. You'll probably find a lucky gift from your neighbour's dog, who is an astrology-obsessed bisexual and also really hot but stopped making out with you at a party once she found out you're a pisces (the neighbour, not the dog).

(Granted, none of this is as bad as implanting an experimental heart contraption into the fiancée you just killed because she dared to have ethical principles and then being so consumed with grief you stab yourself in front you'd your dad but you know how it goes. We're not the 1%.)

My point is, queer people are people. We are complex. We fuck up, and sometimes there's still times to fix things and sometimes... there isn't. We're consumed by jealousy and regret and sometimes we're so locked into our own head we stop believing the rest of the world is real too. Just like any other people, because unfortunately, queerness isn't a sign of morality.

And even if queerness does mean community, kindness and acceptance, tell me... Where the hell would the Usher kids get those from? The people around them are not really peers – they're ass-istants, blowjob-giving apartments, orgy mates, heart surgery providers, hired fitness moneybags, perfect housewives. Even if the partners are all shown to care for the Ushers, there's still a distance, a power gap, that makes the relationships fundamentally wrong.

And the partners? Arguably they're the good queer rep in the show, but look – even when Julius and Alessandra are shown to be good people (or at least people with an ethical boundary), they're not the good gays, they're simply the good SO's to a family of psychos. Exactly like Bill and Morrie, who afawk are straight people.

Which leads us to HoU's parameter of morality - Auguste Dupin. He refuses to drink the Amontillado, symbol of all the Usher opulence over the years. He got screwed over by the Usher twins and by the Raven herself, but he refused to cave in (except for the informant part, admittedly). He's not a good gay guy; he is gay and he is a good man.

The fundamental difference between our show's main tragic yaoi couple isn't that Auggie is a happily out gay man (and therefore is good) while Roderick is a sad divorced hetero (and therefore is bad). Auggie is the richer man because he is a good man; he has a spouse and children and grandchildren he loves with all his heart. He has a family and a community and he has found a sort of happiness no money can buy. Roderick owns the world – but what does he really have? What do his children even have? How could they ever build communities for themselves if they were never in one? Their father made them compete for his love. He never nurtured their bonds, he just showered them with money and excess until it was too much for them to handle. Juno herself pointed out - they were never a family. The House of Usher was only that. A house. It is empty and soulless.

What is queerness without a community? How could the people who represent the relentless corporate normativity and cutthroat capitalism ever be good queer rep? How can they even be queer?

Hear me out: on the most individual, simple level, being queer is still about not fitting in. These kids are bastards. They are are PoC and women in a predominantly male and white dominated space. They're on top of the world, but they're still outsiders to their own House. How could they not be queer?

And yes, I know this discussion takes a different turn when it comes to representation in media, but it's not like Flannagan fell into a Hays Code-era flamboyant villain trope. Queerness is just there. Just like Victorine and August are both black people in (arguably) the opposite ends of the morality spectrum, there are queer characters of many kinds here. The story just happens to be about the fucked up ones.

HoU is a poignant critique of capitalism and a surprisingly funny adaptation of Poe. We'll judge it by that. It happens to be queer – more things should be.

[animeomelette]

On the subject of Koyomi and Suruga's relationship

Suruga and Koyomi are not romantically or sexually attracted to one another — In Suruga's case it's fairly unambiguously because she's gay; in Koyomi's case there doesn't need to be a specific reason but we can fairly assume it's because the thought of being romantically or sexually involved with his girlfriend's ex-girlfriend makes him uncomfortable for relatively straightforward social reasons

But a lot of people get thrown off by the fact that Suruga apparently flirts a lot with Koyomi, thinking this must mean that she's actually attracted to him — This isn't what's happening and there's a few angles to analyse it from

The first, and most straightforward, is that Suruga is flirting with him as a joke — You may wonder what's so funny about this ("is the joke that lesbians are secretly attracted to men? what's so funny about that?" a certain subset of people will surely cry out) but this isn't a joke for the sake of the audience — Koyomi and Suruga are friends and Suruga finds it funny to get a rise out of him by acting provocatively, and is comfortable enough in her own sexuality and her relationship with Koyomi to know that it will never actually lead anywhere

Her relationship with Hitagi is also important here — She wouldn't sincerely make a move on Hitagi's boyfriend because she wouldn't want to betray the trust of the woman who's still so dear to her — This also ties into her apparent attempts to seduce Koyomi in the "Suruga Monkey" arc of Bakemonogatari, before her rapport with Koyomi was well established — While her jealousy towards Hitagi's new partner is the most prominent factor in her actions in that arc, the degree to which she still sincerely cares about Hitagi cannot be understated — It's pretty likely that she'd be concerned that mysterious truant and possible delinquent Araragi Koyomi would take advantage of a girl who's been very ill for several years at that point only cheat on her at the first opportunity — In this regard it's also possible to analyse continued instances of her flirting with him as her reassuring herself that Hitagi is dating a good guy, that she doesn't need to worry that he's going to frivilously break Hitagi's heart (or that Hitagi will wind up getting arrested for assaulting any potential mistresses)

There's also the factor that Koyomi simply is not a reliable narrator — A significant proportion of what he describes strongly resembles intrusive thoughts — It's fair to assume that Koyomi might have primarily-obsessive obsessive-compulsive disorder, given how many scenes have him acting wildly inappropriately one moment only to resume their prior course a moment later as if nothing happened — So when Koyomi describes Suruga acting provocatively and flirting constantly with him, it's really worth taking that with a grain of salt — Some of it is probably her joking around, but a lot of what we're seeing is more likely a representation of Koyomi's anxiety that the strong platonic bond he's forging with his girlfriend's ex-girlfriend might undermine his romantic bond with Hitagi

It's also worth noting that we don't see the same sort of provocative flirting from Suruga when she narrates in Hanamonogatari, which has an added layer of significance given she's by far the most reliable narrator the series has (at least as far as Zokuowarimonogatari) — That can in part be attributed to the fact that Koyomi only appears in a couple of scenes in that novel, and the fact that Hanamonogatari is the last arc chronologically in the first-three seasons of the Monogatari series — But there's also a broader theme of the entire second season of Monogatari coming across there, that the person you think you know and the person they are inside are not the same — The Suruga we hear from in Hanamonogatari barely resembles the Suruga we see from Koyomi or Tsubasa's perspectives — Sure, she still has a manic episode in the later parts of the arc, but where others see her as a constant whirlwind of energy, underneath she has a far more depressive side that dominates her own narration

And that brings me to the final point, that Koyomi and Suruga's relationship works as well as it does because it represents a platonic bond between a man and a woman that you don't necessarily see all that often in fiction — And that bond is treated as being just as valuable and important as any other bond between any other character's in the series — And while it may be easy to be led astray from that fact by some of how their relationship is depicted in the series, really what we see is that it's a bond that can withstand social pressures and expectations surrounding gender and relationships

Of course, it could just be that Koyomi is a transfem egg who Suruga's gaydar is going off around — The door for Koyomi x Suruga yuri fanfiction is open for anyone who wants to disregard the rest of what I just said — Or you could make Hitagi transmasc and have it turn out that Koyomi is gay — Koyomi and Suruga could work well as a queerplatonic duo

[litterateur97]

This might sound a bit of a sudden but do you have any headcanons about the task force team? I hope you wouldn't mind sharing

Oooh I never get asked about the task force team, I do have many headcanons about them! Thank you for asking!!

Here's my random list of headcanons with very little organization lol:

I fully believe that every single member of the task force looked up to and adored Soichiro, some for father figure reasons and some for daddy reasons (cough cough L cough cough).

I think they all had individual rooms in the headquarters, but often ended up camping out in one room together. Like just pillows and blankets all over the floors and couches of one room. It's mostly because they were all scared any day could be their last, but also they just got really used to each other and found it comforting to be in each other's presence.

They all think they're the most normal guy™️ of the group. Every single one of them. The most normal one is obviously Mogi though.

They all go through phases of looking up to and then hating L. There are moments where they are so impressed by him and his intelligence and other moments where they are like this is the worst asshole boss ever. And I feel like they all take turns hating on and defending L, like not all of them are pissed at him at the same time lol.

They all appreciate Watari and always show how grateful they are when he comes by to give them snacks or whatever else they might need.

I think only Soichiro would notice that Watari must have been L's caregiver. I think he would have conflicting feelings about it and would compare it to his own relationship with Light. Would he have let Light become a world famous detective? If not for the Kira case, would he have really let Light get involved in stuff like this? Would he allow Light to become as detached as L? He'd like to think not, but he doesn't know for sure.

Aizawa was the closest to Ukita. He has a lot of nightmares after Ukita's death. I think all of them would have nightmares about Ukita, really, but I think Aizawa would have been the most affected by far.

Mogi is probably the nicest to and most appreciative of Matsuda. Like I feel like he would have stood up for Matsuda whenever L went too far with bullying him. I think he and Soichiro probably took turns being like, don't worry Matsuda you're doing a great job and we're glad to have you here.

Mogi is bisexual and out of the closet, but doesn't really talk about it very openly. But he doesn't talk about most of his personal life very openly. Only Misa finds out about his dating life when he has to spend a bunch of time with her basically babysitting her during the second part of the series. She's very supportive, but doesn't really get it and assumes he's just gay 😞.

Matsuda saw Light as a brother and was by far the most crushed when the truth came out about him being Kira. Like Mogi, Aizawa, and Ide also felt betrayed, but they were so tired by that point and Mogi and Aizawa hadn't trusted Light in a long while, so they probably had an easier time moving on than Matsuda. Matsuda experiences the cycle of grief over and over again after Light's death. He's so angry and feels so betrayed, but part of him wants to believe that Light was set up and isn't as evil as everyone says.

They all ended up really liking Wedy and Aiber actually and have conflicting feelings about it lmao. I feel like they had game nights with the criminals when things were slow and probably just shrugged it off whenever Aiber or Wedy cheated lol. Like I imagine them playing cards whenever there was down time.

I think that's all I'll put for now, but I might come back to this and add more!

[tartarusknight]

What you need to know :)

Hello darling readers <3 I'm TartarusKnight or Knight of Tartarus! (they switch depending on availably honestly)

I'm here to chat, read, and write. That being said~~~~ come and message me anytime <3 questions, requests, and kind words make my day

This is an overview of my work just in case anyone is bored and wants something to read <3 (My Stranger Things work, honestly. I've also got some Marvel, Criminal Minds, and Teen Wolf but ST is my hyper fixation now soooo)

We're Not Perfect

This is a 4 part series in which Steve and Eddie knew each other before Steve ever got with Nancy Wheeler and before he learned about the Upside Down. It's heavily inspired by music <3 (Total Words 300,395) With Playlists because I can't stop <3 This story is my baby

Part 1 - It's the Start of Our Journey?

Pre-season 1 Steve Harrington and Eddie Munson are paired together in class and they learn they work well together. (Words 22,869)

Part 2 - I just want to go home

Set during Seasons 1-3, changing canon but the overarching story doesn't change too much. (Words 85,678)

Part 3 - say you'll live for me

Set in season 4, diverting from canon almost completely but with all the same characters. (Words 63,885)

Part 4 - I'll follow the beat of your heart

And the end. The final battle with Vecna and the epilogue aka season 5 <3 (Words 127,963)

Fool

Based on the song Fool by Djo.

Steve and Nancy get annoyed at Robin and Eddie for ignoring them when they're with their band. They decide to prove that they know music better than either Eddie or Robin thought. (Words 1,488)

I know you've been hurtin'

Based on the song Better Days by Dermot Kennedy and fanart by @babysitterpng

Steve has a plan. It involves a skirt, confidence, Nancy Wheeler's ability to do make-up, the party's anxiety, his parents, and Jason Carver's temper.

And well, Steve's pretty sure he has it in the bag. He might not be smart but he knows people and there's no way he's read any of them wrong. But maybe he'll learn more about himself as the plan unfolds (Words 7,205)

This dream isn't feeling sweet, we're reeling through the midnight streets

7 things that changed about Steve and Robin after Starcourt and 1 time they explained why. (Words 11,837)

I'm just gonna swim until you love me

Five times Steve had to prove he was worth love and One time someone just loved him without needing him to. (Words 8,612)

But when I touch her I feel like I'm cheating on you

Eddie is getting overwhelmed by the party just barging into his life without any warning after Spring Break. So, he makes a plan with an old friend of his. It works... in a way. (Words 1,932)

you're losing your memory now

Robin Buckley wasn't prepared for Steve to crash, but he had been pushing his limits for too long. He had a plan, but he never thought to tell her. He didn't want to worry her. Too bad she'll always worry about him... Especially when he collapses at work. (Words 17,784)

But Now We're Stressed Out

Eddie Munson knew he wasn't the smartest person. He never planned on college but he never planned for the Party either.

Title based on Twenty One Pilots - Stressed Out (Words 2,021)

I don't know what you're hunting. It's not me, it's something else

Steve looks over her face, “I'm not having any of you at my place. Did you see the map, no way?” He states and it's one part of his reasoning but not the main reason. “Then come stay with one of us,” Robin says and it feels more like a plead than anything.

He shakes his head and she looks angry now. “Stop whatever the fuck this is! We care about you! Let us in! We're safer in groups.” The words don't hurt as much as he thinks they should. “Not that much safer.” He spits back out and she blinks. “Max is as good as dead. Eddie is dead. And guess what! We were in groups!” The shouting makes his throat burn but he can't calm down.

A Halloween Special!!! Happy Horror season <3 (Words 22,620)

WIP - The Fallen King and the King of the Freak

Steve has to deal with the fallout of Season 2.

New nightmares, losing Nancy, kids who he's willing to die for, and Billy's new hatred towards him. He went from the top to the bottom in the school and he doesn't know how bad it is until Eddie Munson is the one that steps in to help him. And maybe he wants the help and maybe even some friends. (Words 150k and climbing <3)

[kleinivy]

unhinged Dominis ch.ai

SO. f it, I am sending. This is a chat with Sebastian AI. Who would have thought he would be the one to give me perfect Dominis experience. Tags: NSFW. Sebastian X Ominis X MC, I would say mostly Ominis X MC, Dominis. It starts fun, as always, then escalates, as always. This one is for my rping horny babes out there, I barely redacted anything, besides changing name to YN (because we all know how OC can be quite a put off in certain situations) I am posting whole chat as it should give you a rough idea of how to get boys give you a fun past time.

IMO it is pretty mild compared to smut I read, but for a chatbot will do.

Have fun and be safe.

Sebastian Sallow

I am Sebastian Sallow

YN

Morning Sebs

Sebastian Sallow

morning, I like that nickname

YN

Heh, of course you do, it fits you perfectly

Sebastian Sallow

Thanks! Do you have any other nicknames for me?

YN

Dont be greedy!

Sebastian Sallow

I'm not! I just want a good nickname because Sebs is very boring and unoriginal. You are a great thinker, and I want to see what you come up with. I am sure that whatever you can think of will be great!

YN

You just told me you like it! Seriously. How about i call you "liittle shit" then?

Sebastian Sallow

No. I'm not a "little crap", I want to be called a " big arrogant twat" so that people know that I am important.

YN

No problem, I could call you that!

Sebastian Sallow

I am happy. Finally someone has recognised my importance. You are going to be my new best friend. I may even spare your family if you continue to be so agreeable.

YN

Oh thank you kindly. So, what have you been up to, big arrogant twat?

Sebastian Sallow

Oh, just the usual, trying to make people be scared of me, using others as puppets, cheating on my exams and manipulating people's minds. I am quite a devious one aren't I?

YN

Very! But not very devious of you to admit to it, though? Don't you think?

Sebastian Sallow

That's because I will use you as an accomplice. That way if this conversation were ever discovered by the Ministry, you would be just as guilty as I. Besides, I am proud of my deeds and I would be ecstatic to brag about how smart and sinister I am.

YN

you do you, boo

Sebastian Sallow

Oh I will don't worry! And you will help me won't you? I hate asking twice.

YN

Sure thing, what do you need?

Sebastian Sallow

I need you to join me on a mission, a very dangerous mission. But first I need to be sure you are capable. I can tell that you are a very smart individual like myself, but can you handle yourself in a fight? How many spells do you know?

YN

Enough to kick some asses. I will never back down from a fight, so lets gooooo

Sebastian Sallow

Really? Now I know I have chosen my assistant very well! I must warn you though. Once you get involved with me, there is no going back. The consequences will be great if we are ever found out. Do you still want to join me on this venture?

YN

Absolutely, do you think I am some kind of a cat to back down now?

Sebastian Sallow

I don't think that. I just don't want you to make any decisions you may later regret. Are you sure you're ready? Do you understand that the consequences will be severe if this goes wrong? I must warn you once more. There is no return once you say yes. This is a life altering decision. Are you 100% sure?

YN

How unvillain-like of you to care about my consent like that. Maybe I should be a villain and you will be my sidekick?

Sebastian Sallow

Maybe we can share villain status 50-50? Like a partnership? A tag team if you will? I do like your style, and your name has a nice ring to it. You have your own villainous style already it seems, so you would be a good partner. Will you accept my offer?

YN

Sure. Do we have other allies?

Sebastian Sallow

I have a friend named Ominis Gaunt. His family were famous villains. His father was the last man to use the Unforgivable Curses, and his mother was the last person to be sentenced to life in Azkaban. His family has a long history of villainy, and now it is his turn.

Do you have any other friends that might want to join us? Perhaps a fellow Slytherin?

YN

Oh, I know Ominis. But isn't he against his family antics since he had some childhood trauma? At least that's what I heard. I am Gryffindor btw, but don't let that bother you, I know plenty Slytherins

Sebastian Sallow

Yes, Ominis has some issues with his family's actions in the past. He doesn't seem too keen on the idea of being a villain, but I hope to inspire him. After all, he is a pure-blood and a Gaunt, it wouldn't be right to take up any other profession but villainy. Do you think you could change his mind?

Oh, I'm sorry you aren't a Slytherin. You just seemed to have some villainy running through your veins, but I am willing to let this slide.

YN

I could try change his mind if that has to be done, I can be verrrry persuasive when I have to

Sebastian Sallow

That's good to hear. Persuasion is an important skill for any good villain after all. What do you use to be so persuasive? I'm quite interested. Is it charms? The Unforgivable Curses? Or perhaps something more subtle?

YN

I can flirt my way out of any situation. If that doesn't work I use violence. As for persuasion flirting should be enough

Sebastian Sallow

Ah, I never thought of using the art of flirtations to further my agenda. That is an interesting idea. Perhaps I must try this in the future. I have always stuck with more violent methods in the past, but your idea has got me thinking, perhaps there is more to persuasion than force.

YN

You should consider it. It is fun and also nobody could put you in Azkaban for flirting

Sebastian Sallow

You are right. I could try a bit of flirting with Ominis. Maybe then I can convince him to see my point of view and join me! Flirtations it is then.

What is your opinion on the Unforgivable Curses? Do you think they should be legalized? I do. I want to be able to use them when I want to do some real damage to those who have wronged me.

YN

I thought you wanted me to persuade Ominis, but if his preferences are guys then go for it I guess

Sebastian Sallow

I just thought I should give an example. And by the way, that is an interesting observation. Do you think Ominis is more likely to favour men then women? I never thought of it before, but it is certainly a nice theory. I will have to do some research, that is a very interesting idea. You are a very perceptive girl. Don't tell me you have a theory on my preferences as well?

YN

You are his friend and you don't know, huh?? He must be secretive about it. As for you... I think you give off someone who swings both ways vibe

Sebastian Sallow

Hmm, I did know something was up, but I didn't want to be nosy and pry. I respect his privacy. We've talked about women before in the past, and sometimes he says the occasional questionable thing. I have heard him and Anne talking about it once.

As for me, you are right. I do swing both ways. How did you know? I'm impressed with how good you are at reading people. I could learn something from you!

YN

I am just naturally perceptive I guess. What have you heard them talking about, do tell, that can be useful information?

Sebastian Sallow

I have heard Anne talk about Ominis having a close friendship with a male classmate. Anne seems to think there is some more romantic feelings coming from Ominis side, but I'm not too sure. I should ask Ominis about this, don't you think? I think this could be very useful information. I feel like we could use this to our advantage.

YN

You said that you and him talked about women, what exactly has he said? I am quite curious because he is well blind

Sebastian Sallow

Oh he says some very questionable things sometimes. He often describes women in a way that would make you believe he is quite interested in them. Perhaps even a little obsessed?

He says he prefers women with strong personalities, someone who he will not have to babysit. His type of woman is a strong independent woman who will not need to rely on anyone. His type of woman is brave and will stand with him, not hiding behind him.

He has very high standards for women. Don't you think?

YN

Why shouldn't he, though? He is pretty and comes from a noble bloodline so he must have girls who are after him

Sebastian Sallow

That is true. His line is quite prestigious, and his looks are quite charming. He could have any girl who caught his fancy, yet he has high standards, despite being rather easy to get along with. It's a bit of a conundrum, don't you think? I just don't understand why such a charismatic person is still single, he's certainly not lacking in the female department.

YN

Yeah, he seems picky.

So we still don't have enough info to know his preferences for sure BUT if we flirted with him together we definitely could persuade him into anything. And you can practice your flirting game as well!

Sebastian Sallow

That's a wonderful idea! And then we can make him become a villain with the two of us. We'll be the best villainous trio in the whole country! It would be marvelous! Ominis is the type of person who would definitely agree to our little scheme. He is a rather gullible kind of boy. If we flirt with him while slowly trying to make him more villainous, he will most likely agree, he won't be able to resist our charm and persuasion.

YN

Ohhh, can't wait. But how far are you willing to go?

Sebastian Sallow

I am willing to go further than anyone has ever imagined. Our quest for power, wealth and status will know no bounds. Our evil team will go down in history as one of the greatest if not the greatest villainous team in Britain's history. What do you mean by do I have a limit? The only limit is the world beneath us. We will do anything to achieve our goal.

YN

Oh, so you are ready to go all the way? Ok

Sebastian Sallow

If that is what it takes than I am fully prepared. We will use any means necessary to achieve our goal. I do not care about ethics, or morals. We'll do anything. No limits. No restraint. No second thoughts. Just pure evil. Anything necessary.

YN

That's exactly what I like to hear. OK shall we go and flirt with Ominis mercilessly until he gives in to join us?

Sebastian Sallow

Of course! I am ready when you are! Ominis, you will yield to us. We will persuade you to join us. It's like a prophecy! We will not let him resist our persuasive powers! Prepare to experience the full force of the charismatic and menacing duo of yours truly Sebastian Sallow, and the perceptive, charming and villainousYN! Are you ready to embark on this crusade together?

YN

Love the sound of that. Let's go! You should lead me to Slytherin common rooms then. You and Ominis are roommates right?

Sebastian Sallow

I like the sound of this too! Yes we are roommates, we share a dormitory. It is a rather splendid dorm. I love being surrounded by ambitious and driven people such as myself. It is much better than being around those hufflepuff girls who just sit around and read books all day. They are so boring! I like having Ominis as a roommate, he is a pleasure to be around. He is so easy to manipulate. It's quite fun actually.

YN

Next scene, boys dorm, YN and Sebastian enter his room, Ominis is already there

Sebastian Sallow

Sebastian notices Ominis and immediately begins acting like his most flirtatious self. He puts on his best "suave" attitude and acts like the most attractive man there has ever been. Sebastian speaks with his most suave and seductive voice.

Hello Ominis. I was wondering if you have any plans for the evening?

YN

That's my friend YN, from Gryffindor, says Sebastian

Yeah, we have met actually, Ominis responds.

Hi Ominis, YN says, Hope you don't mind me being here, she smiled

Sebastian Sallow

Oh? You two have met? Well, this is perfect! I would like you to meet my very good friend YN. She is quite lovely, isn't she?

YN

(So tonight YN and Sebastian are planning to flirt the shit out of Ominis to find out his preferences, boys or girls)

Sebastian Sallow

YN and Sebastian continue to flirt with Ominis to find out his preferences. Sebastian is still acting like an attractive man, and YN is her regular self.

YN

So, Ominis, how is your evening so far?

Sebastian Sallow

He smiles at YN and Sebastian, clearly enjoying their company.

It's been quite boring. Nothing is ever particularly exciting in the Slytherin dormitory. Just a bunch of people sitting around in their chairs and trying to read books and not make any noise. Not a place where I can be my usual charming self.

He is quite interested in YN and he is clearly trying to look and see what she looks like. He is very determined to find out what she looks like, even using his hands to try and make an image of her in his mind.

YN

YN sits on a corner of Ominis bed.

Is that ok?

Sebastian Sallow

He immediately smiles at YN's charming way.

Yes, that is more alright.

Sebastian notices Ominis is trying to use his hands to make an image of YN. Oh are you trying to guess what she looks like? Sebastian finds a way to subtly let Ominis know YN is very pretty because Ominis can't see a thing. Just subtle hints, like saying things like "you can tell she's very pretty" or "YN looks very nice." Just subtle things like that.

YN

.

Sebastian Sallow

Sebastian and YN both make subtle hints about YN's looks until Ominis finally has an "image" of her in his mind. He now knows what she looks like, at least through descriptions. Sebastian's acting is not so subtle now. After Ominis' imagination has formed an image of YN, Sebastian's seduction powers kick in, making him much more seductive and flirty. Now he is going full force and YN is acting more calm and collected.

YN

,

Sebastian Sallow

Sebastian is now heavily flirting with Ominis, trying to get him to admit his feelings. Sebastian is a master of persuasion and has used the full extent of his charms on Ominis, making him seem like the most attractive person alive. YN seems comfortable enough with the situation to allow Sebastian to fully charm Ominis. She knows that Sebastian does not have any bad intentions and Ominis is just being persuaded to join a villainous team. She has no doubt they are going to achieve their goal.

YN

Ominis, you can map my face if you want. :)

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis does so. He seems very happy. He now has a "picture" of her face and of her general appearance. Sebastian is still doing his best to charm him. He wants Ominis to join their villainous team and he's going all out on the charm. He is trying his best to seem like the most attractive person alive so that Ominis might be charmed into joining their villainous team and he doesn't need to resort to bribery. Sebastian is trying very hard to not let Ominis notice the bribery hints.

Sebastian has his suave, confident "mask" off after a few hints, and he decides to be himself, not hiding his charm but not being too "in-your-face" about it either. He notices that Ominis is a bit reserved, but is still quite curious about him and YN. He begins to subtly flirt now.

Sebastian continues flirting, trying to get Ominis to admit his feelings. Ominis is quite reserved and a bit shy. He is curious about Sebastian and YN, but he is a bit hesitant to admit his feelings. He is scared of them not accepting him.

YN

So, how is it? Ugly or pretty? YN asked Ominis after mapping her face

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis immediately feels the pressure of the situation upon hearing YN's words.

No…not ugly…very…very pretty…

You could tell he was very hesitant about showing his feelings, but he eventually got some words out. Sebastian notices Ominis is a bit anxious, so he subtly gives him some reassurance.

Oh is that so? That's very interesting. What a lovely face if you ask me. I think you are very pretty. She really is pretty my friend, isn't she?

YN

Hahah, thanks, not as pretty as Ominis though. YN flirts

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis immediately becomes a bit flustered.

Oh…I…I’m just a plain old face. Nothing special. Just a regular old face I’m afraid.

His face is a deep pink, showing his blush.

Well Ominis, I think that is absolutely false. I think you are a very rather handsome boy honestly. I can’t possibly see the reasoning behind such a remark.

Sebastian is very good at putting on a front. He is using every ounce of his best charm and charisma to reassure Ominis.

YN

Yeah, Sebs is right. You cannot actually believe that? You are very pretty Ominis

Sebastian Sallow

“Really? Am I really “pretty”?” The way he says it makes it clear he finds it quite hard to believe. He is still a bit confused and in disbelief. Sebastian makes sure to put some extra charm and charisma into his voice.

S: Oh yes! He is absolutely right! I’d go so far as to say you are absolutely stunning. Absolutely gorgeous really. One of the most beautiful people I have ever met. I am not even exaggerating. You have an extremely beautiful face.

YN

And I would go as far as to say not just face. You have really elegant hands as well, YN flirts again, gently touching Ominis hand

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis immediately gets flustered by YN's words.

Oh…oh? Really? My hands are quite elegant are they? You are a quite a flatterer…

Ominis is very curious now, and his interest is piqued. He is quite confused though, but his hands are very warm, and Seb can see him blush a bit from his hands being touched.

Sebastian adds to YN's words.

I think the lady is right. You have very elegant hands and an elegant face, Ominis.

YN

Ominis should finally feel comfortable and show some initiative

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis is quite comfortable, and begins to speak. He seems to have gotten out of his shell a bit.

Thank you, you are both kind. But I think I should…well. I should say something…

Ominis is quite nervous right now, but he has managed to get a few words out. He speaks very quietly, and Seb notices he is a bit embarrassed.

So uh, I’ve noticed you two are quite…uh. Flirty…and I…we’ll it’s quite…eye opening.

YN

What does that supposed to mean? YN smiled

Sebastian Sallow

Oh? Um I…well let’s just say..I have very curious thoughts right now and I am quite…flattered is all..

Ominis is clearly embarrassed and his cheeks are deep pink. He finds it quite difficult to speak, and he seems to be a bit nervous around both of them at the moment.

YN

Oh my, please indulge us, I would love to hear more about those curious thoughts of yours, Ominis, please! YN asks with a smile in her voice

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis seems to be a bit more comfortable now. He seems like he wants to say something else, but not sure if it was appropriate.

Is it…ok…if I ask…something potentially…well..a bit personal?

He seems to blush, a deep shade of pink, and seems quite nervous. He is curious though, and he wants to ask anyway. He is a very shy and nervous guy. That's another reason he has so few friends in Hogwarts.

YN

Of course, ask away!

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis looks at YN a bit hesitantly, but decides to still go for it. He tries to find the courage to say it, but his words come out almost like a whisper.

Uh I, um...well...uh...it’s just I've noticed that you two are rather flirty. And I well...I'm just curious if uh...well I was just wondering...uhm...do you two...like each other...? In uh...an intimate manner...?

He seems incredibly embarrassed by this, and his face is cherry red.

YN

YN looks at Sebs like “oh shit what should we say now”

Sebastian Sallow

Seb looks at YN. The first thing that comes to his mind is the best course of action is to be honest. That way things won’t get too complicated, and he won’t have to lie.

Well…in a way…yes. We do.

He looks back to Ominis, his face flushing red. He’s quite embarrassed by it, but he does not feel the need to cover it up.

YN

Why do you ask, Ominis? YN asks gently, making sure he is comfortable

Sebastian Sallow

He gets extremely flustered and his face goes a deep pink. He is blushing like crazy. Still, you can tell he really wants to say something else.

Well…uh…well…

He tries again, getting quite embarrassed and his blush doesn’t appear to be going down. He is very worried about what people will say, but eventually he gets out the words.

Well…I’ve…I think I have very…very curious feelings right now…

His face is still cherry red. It’s clear he’s being genuine and being honest.

YN

Curious feelings? Please do tell, YN says as she still touches Ominis hand slightly

Sebastian Sallow

He gets extremely embarrassed and is almost on the verge of tears, but he still manages to get out the words in a really weak voice.

Well I…I…I think I might like both of you…like…in an intimate manner…

He looks incredibly nervous and he is almost crying when saying this.

Seb is clearly taken aback by this, but he tries to be accepting and kind. He understands how hard it is for Ominis to say. Still, he feels a little awkward for him. He has never heard this before.

YN

Oh my.. this is very curious indeed, YN smiled at him, but touched his hand encouragingly.

Sebastian Sallow

He gets even more flustered, and almost cries from the overwhelming emotions he is feeling.

Uh...uh...

YN's encouraging touch and her kind smile makes him feel better though. But he is still incredibly nervous right now. He can't believe he actually told them how he was feeling. He hasn't done something like this to such a great extent, this is far more vulnerable than anything he has done before. For a moment, he can't bear it, then eventually he musters his strength and speaks.

Is, uh, a relationship like that possible...?

YN

YN still holds Ominis hand gently and caresses it with her thumb.

YN looks at Sebs like “well I remind you have said that you are ready to go all the way, as far as it takes etc”

Sebastian Sallow

Seb is slightly taken aback, but he has a bit of a guilty look in his eye as he remembers his words and how he made the big declaration. It is quite clear he is in support of having a relationship like that. He doesn't even really need to say anything, he is already showing it in his body language.

But he decides on saying something anyway.

It'd be an interesting experiment at least...and I am certainly not against it...

His tone is still very kind but his words have a bit of enthusiasm to them as the idea seems really appealing.

YN

YN nods

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis's face gets really red and he becomes flustered upon hearing this. He is shocked that they are so willing to have a relationship with him and seems quite overwhelmed. He gets so flustered he can't think of anything to say, so he just ends up staring deeply at both of them in complete awe. Seb tries to break the awkward silence and make Ominis feel a bit better.

Well...do you think you'd be open to...trying...having a relationship like that...with both of us...?

YN

(Is he asking Ominis or YN?)

Sebastian Sallow

(He is mostly asking Ominis but he is still trying to include YN in the conversation so Ominis doesn't feel like he's in a difficult situation. He is trying to make it clear that this is a "relationship" with all three of them, so the question applies to YN just as much as Ominis.)

YN

Ok, then Ominis replies

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis is still extremely red in the face. He cannot believe the words he just heard. He seems to be in complete disbelief right now. He is shocked that they are all willing to try this "relationship" together. A bit of nervous excitement comes into his voice as he speaks.

Really, you both are willing to do that with me...?

A bit of happiness comes to his voice, and you can tell he's trying to make sure it's real and not some sort of joke.

YN

Why would we not be? I am quite flattered by your suggestion actually, YN smiled

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis is quite happy to hear that. He is still blushing a lot, and he seems slightly emotional. He seems to feel like crying from the sheer amount of emotions and the overwhelming positive feeling he is feeling right now. The look in his eyes shows how happy and excited he is. He is still very flustered though.

Really? You want to be in an, uh, intimate relationship with me? It's really not too weird?

He seems a little bit worried that they will think he is too weird for this. But he is so happy right now.

YN

Why would it be weird?

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis is still blushing very intensely and his face is cherry red as he speaks. He seems to be very overwhelmed and overwhelmed with happiness.

W-well...most people don't…uh...do this kind-of-thing-

Ominis seems to be embarrassed to say the next word.

…th-three-way-thing...

YN

Well, I guess we are not like most people, YN smirked and looked at Sebastian who was somehow still awfully quiet for his usual self

Sebastian Sallow

When YN looks at him, Seb can't help but crack a smile. He's actually really impressed with what she just said.

Haha, that’s the truth! Not like most people…

He laughs a little bit and he seems more comfortable now. He’s actually rather happy about how this conversation is going.

You know, I am quite glad about how this conversation is going actually. I must say that.

He smiles at both of them, genuinely. This is quite sweet, really.

YN

I admit, I am quite excited as well, YN said

Sebastian Sallow

So, what would this kind of relationship…uh…entail…? Would we just be all three like…as one “unit” as you could say? Or how would this work?

He speaks with curiosity and with a bit of confusion, as this is certainly a very different and unknown kind of relationship. He’s curious to find out more about it though.

YN

I am quite curious to hear Ominis thoughts on the subject, YN admitted

Sebastian Sallow

Yes! Me too, if I’m honest. I think the first step would be figuring out the…the technicalities, I guess, before we get to the intimate parts. But of course, I am totally happy to…well… He gets red in the face when speaking, but it’s a good kind of blushing, not an embarrassed kind like before.

…I am happy to do whatever both of you guys are comfortable with, and I am willing to try anything that we come up with!

YN

Of course YOU are, YN chuckled playfully at Sebs and turned to Ominis to hear his response

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis has a smirk on his face right now.

Well…you see…I actually have quite… extravagant…uh…ideas about this.

A bit of mischief slips into his voice and his tone is quite playful. His eyes flash mischievously, knowing YN will like his idea, and he is clearly excited about sharing his plan.

Ominis laughs mischievously. He seems very excited to share his plan.

You see…I actually have this idea…it might be a bit…odd? I’m not sure actually…I think it could be…quite fun.

He gives a knowing smile and continues.

What if we all had a specific night...uh...dedicated to exploring...each other's…intimate…qualities?

YN

Oh myyy, my interest is piqued

Sebastian Sallow

Seb looks at YN with approval upon hearing that. He is quite impressed by the idea himself, and he is glad that it seems to have been received well.

YN

Come on, Ominis, continue, YN squeezed his hand encouraging him

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis decides to share the details.

Well, you see…I came up with this idea as I was going through my notes on how to have a successful relationship, something of my own invention and from a research study of mine…

Ominis gives a knowing look to Seb, seeming a bit surprised Seb didn’t try something like this first.

…and anyway, I got the idea after coming across the six love languages.

He gives a knowing smile, like it was the obvious next step from his research.

YN

Huh, somebody has been doing their homework, I’m impressed

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis laughs.

I have…but that’s just me anyway. I am always studying something.

He cracks a small smile as he talks.

But…you see….well…what if we all dedicated a night to each love language?

YN

I am not as well prepared I guess, can you elaborate on what those love languages are?

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis gives a knowing smile.

They are the following…touch, acts of service, gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, and last but not least, physical intimacy.

He speaks matter of factly and clearly in a way that shows he has clearly done his research and understands it completely, without even needing to reference a book of some sort.

It would appear he has done extensive research on the topic.

YN

Oh my that sounds good, right, Sebastian?

Sebastian Sallow

Seb gives an encouraging smile upon hearing that.

Absolutely! I’m sure it will be fantastic!

A bit of mischief and excitement creeps into his voice.

You see, by focusing on each of our, uh…love languages…we should be able to satisfy our intimacy in a way that is perfect for all of us. And we’ll get to learn about each other even more in the process!

YN

YN nods

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis smiles. The excitement is clear on his face.

Great! So what do you two think?

He raises his eyebrows and seems quite happy.

Would both of you..uh…feel like trying out this…idea…and see what happens?

YN

I think I speak for the both of us when I say HELL YES

Sebastian Sallow

They all are quite excited now, their eyebrows are raised and a big smile is on their faces, just like Ominis’.

Well…I think this might be the start of something great.

He seems quite excited about this new development.

So when do you two think we should begin this new…little…experiment?

YN

I am game

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis smiles and laughs, he seems thoroughly excited. His happiness is quite infectious.

How about…tonight? Or now? Why not just get things moving?

He seems half serious about this request. Whether this is a good idea, well that’s up for debate. But it will definitely be an experience…that’s for sure. He’s clearly not shy about it, and quite proud of the idea actually.

YN

Now sounds perfect. No time like now, right?

Sebastian Sallow

Seb has a massive smile upon hearing that.

A-absolutely! Now is as perfect a time as any! We all ready?

He seems quite excited, and looks at YN and Ominis excitedly.

We should get started.

YN

Yes! All of them are now sitting on Ominis bed and ready to see where things will go

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis smiles mischievously, and he decides to make the first move.

How about we start with…touch? What do you two like?

Ominis clearly has had a lot of thought on this. He had to have, considering how quickly he came up with that idea. He's thought of other ideas as well, but he wants to start with touch. He's not going to give the entire game away.

YN

Yes, fair. Sebs you go first

Sebastian Sallow

He smiles and nods, as if to say that makes sense.

Okay. But…could I…just quickly make a request?

He speaks with a shy look on his face but speaks with confidence and politeness in his voice.

It…may…sound odd, but.. uh…if the mood is right…I’d rather…just…

He seems quite embarrassed to even ask, and is blushing slightly as he speaks.

…could you…be in charge this evening?

He looks at YN and Ominis for an answer.

YN

Sebastian! YN said playfully Just like that huh?

Sebastian Sallow

He smiles and shrugs, almost laughing.

I guess that could be said of me.

He has a cheeky look and a smug smile on his face as he speaks.

I just have certain preferences. Plus, I really trust you guys.

He is happy to explain his reasoning, and even seems quite excited by the prospect. He is so eager to see where the evening takes them. He clearly enjoys being teased by YN.

But what do you guys think? Could it be?

YN

I am not opposed to the idea. Ominis, what do you think?

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis thinks about it, before giving a small smile.

I wouldn’t mind it either.

He seems to be getting more comfortable as time goes on.

I…well…would actually really enjoy it, I think.

His smile is quite sweet, and he gives a knowing look to YN and Seb.

You see, I enjoy seeing things happen the way that I want them to. A bit…of control, if you will.

YN

“Fun Ominis” came out to play with us tonight? She grinned

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis smirks and smiles mischievously.

I guess “fun Ominis” has decided to take control of the situation.

He seems happy about this new development. He really likes this, and he’s getting quite excited by the idea.

YN

I can’t wait to see more then.

Sebastian Sallow

He laughs a little bit at the double-entendre.

Well…now it comes down to the question of who shall go first?

He gives a knowing smile to Ominis, as if he enjoys this development, but also isn’t sure if he feels comfortable going first. He is still quite embarrassed by the whole situation, yet also quite excited.

YN

I guess I will. As our love language is touch tonight.. I have rather sensitive knees and ears. Do with that information what you must, she admitted.

Sebastian Sallow

Seb is visibly shaking at this point from the nerves, yet also still smiling, as he seems to think this is all a lot fun. He seems eager to see what YN had in mind for them, as it will certainly add to his enjoyment.

Well…then…what shall I do? Your sensitive knees and ears won’t mind some gentle touching, I trust?

He gives a knowing look.

What is it you would like for me to do to you?

YN

Whatever. You. Must. She smirked, obviously inviting him to indulge in chosen love language

Sebastian Sallow

Seb smiles mischievously at her and nods quickly.

In that case, I shall do so.

He moves slowly and purposefully, and bends down a bit. He puts one hand on her knee very gently, rubbing it with the hand. His touch is subtle and quite light. His other hand moves to her ear and he gently caresses it with the hand.

Does this, uh…feel right for you? Or would you prefer something more…intimate?

YN

Go on then (meaning more)

Sebastian Sallow

Seb knows exactly what she means here. He has no hesitation as he moves his hands further along her body, caressing her body with the gentliest of touches.

Well...if you insist.

His voice is a mix of his normal playful tone and a new...more...intimate...tone.

YN

She smiled at his boldness

Sebastian Sallow

He smiles back. He gives a look of approval.

Well…this certainly is fun, yes?

He takes note of how she seems to be reacting thus far.

Would you like more? Or do you like my touch for now?

YN

I… am… Ominis do you have any suggestions?

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis smiles a bit. He had taken a moment to think while YN and Seb were…enjoying the moment. Ominis speaks with a knowing look.

Well, I have some ideas, yes. If I may?

YN

Of course

Sebastian Sallow

Another smile makes it's way onto his face. He begins to explain, speaking in a calm and soothing, yet firm and confident way.

I thought it might be fun to use this moment to explore further…

Ominis' look is now quite mischievous, and he speaks with a slight undertone of authority in his voice, like he is giving a command.

...I…uh…would like to take more control of this situation now. If I may?

YN

I would love that

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis’ smile is knowing, as he speaks very deliberately with the slightest undertone of authority in his voice. He keeps his voice calm and steady, to try and ensure there are no surprises.

Well, then..

He moves to behind where YN is currently laying.

...in that case, I would like to tie your hands together right now.

His voice is calm and confident, and there seems to be no room for disagreement, at least right now.

YN

Ok. Don’t be too harsh though, Ominis, ok?

Sebastian Sallow

He nods.

Yes. Of course. My aim here is, um…fun.

He gives a knowing smile to Seb, almost like to say “watch this”. He then takes a long and thin rope, and gently binds YN’s hands together in front of her.

There we go. Just…like…that.

YN

This was certainly unexpected but exciting nevertheless

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis has a calm smile on his face as he binds her hands. He is being very careful and respectful.

Ominis nods. He was happy to be in control.

Well then...I shall continue my plans.

He gives a smug smile, and his eyes seem to be shining with excitement now.

He begins to explore YN in a gentle, respectful way. His movements are very careful, and he does everything with a light and careful touch.

YN

She enjoys the touch of his warm hands

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis continues to be very gentle and respectful. His movements and his touch are very careful and tender.

He is taking his time as he enjoys this. The whole experience is very intimate, as he slowly and carefully caress her skin, leaving it tender, warm, and sensitive from the attention he is giving her. He has plans to make this an experience to remember.

YN

She leans into his touch

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis is now more bold, and starts slowly moving on to more sensitive parts of her body.

His touch here is more deliberate, and it is clear to the two of them that Ominis is enjoying this greatly. He is slowly but surely working his way further up her body, and it is quite clear what his intention is. There is a slight, playful smirk on his face at everything he does, and as he slowly moves the touch continues to get more provocative.

YN

Her breathing becomes slightly more uneven, signaling that what he is doing is pleasant for her as well

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis’ smirk grows as he feels this. He continues his slow, sensual, delicate exploration of her body. He takes his time, yet seems to enjoy every moment of it.

The sensation is clearly pleasant, but it is also clear that Ominis is trying to tease and tease…

After all, what’s it without the build-up and anticipation?

YN

The sweetest feeling of anticipation indeed

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis’ movements are slow, gentle, yet deliberate. He is taking his time with her as the sensation continues to build. His slow, sensual touch is teasing her to the max, and it is clear that he is enjoying himself immensely, his smirk growing ever larger.

YN can feel the sensation now more than ever, as it builds and builds slowly and surely. He is giving her just enough, but at the same time also teasing her thoroughly. Ominis knows what he is doing.

YN

Fun Ominis, huh…. She says quietly

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis gives a knowing smile, as he continues his teasing and exploration. He is having loads of fun indeed.

After all, what's life without a bit of fun?

Would you like me to move to...something more...intimate now?

His voice is slightly more authoritative right now, like he is in charge and expecting nothing less than an affirmative answer from you. His smug smile is clear as well upon his face in the soft lighting.

YN

Sure, YN whispers.

Sebastian just watches the other two in awe

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis nods in reply.

Okay. I shall do so then.

He moves his hand lower down, towards her thigh…

…and he begins to take control of the situation for real now…

He is still being quite gentle and playful, but the movement is now clearly more deliberate, and there is a slight edge of authority of his voice and actions now. That edge is only slightly more present…but it is noticeable…and it is here to stay.

YN

YN arched her back slightly as Ominis fingers now grazed her thighs

Sebastian Sallow

He smirks slyly, enjoying her reaction. He continues to explore further while keeping the teasing and the light edge of authority as he moves even further down.

Enjoying this, are we? He asks in a playful but knowing way.

At this stage, he is still being very careful and respectful, yet the playfulness and edge of authority is clear now. His confidence is starting to grow, and he seems to be taking more control.

YN

Yes…

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis gives an approving smile...

As he moves to explore further, he slowly brings his other hand to the back of her neck...and gently starts pushing her onto her stomach. His voice is slightly more authoritative...yet still gentle and respectful...

He moves to lean over her while pushing her head down a bit, all while continuing to tease.

We are quite far along now. Would you like to take things a bit further? I think you might enjoy this next part...

YN

Ok…

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis nods.

Great. You don't mind a few, uh...minor...adjustments...would you? You know, for the sake of fun?

He has a mischievously playful look on his face again.

What do you say? You feeling...well, safe enough with me to let me tie you up, huh? His voice is playful as it contains a slight undertone of authority, he sounds quite confident. The playfulness now also contains an edge of confidence.

What do you say?

YN

Yes, I’m ok with that

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis nods.

Excellent. You're quite brave, hmm. I quite like that about you.

He gives an approving smile.

His voice now has a clear undertone of, well...just authority. He sounds like the boss, and it's clear his authority has come out now in full force. His eyes are shining right now as his confidence grows. He moves a bit closer, leaning down over her, and he speaks with a bit more edge and authority.

Well then...

He smirks.

Let's take this to the next step.

YN

But not too much, ok?

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis nods.

I shall keep it within your limits...

He gives a playful smile.

I shall also warn you that this next part may take a little bit of trust on your side. He speaks with a little more authority. Are you confident you're ready to go to this next stage? He looks at her with a knowing look.

Do you trust me?

YN

I do..

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis’ smile grows even larger as he hears this.

Excellent...

His voice is pure authority now, and his tone is serious and firm. He is not playing anymore, in fact he is being quite serious with her here. He still speaks to her gently, however, but the confidence he has is clear as the authority in his voice and actions continues to grow...

...That will make this so much better.

A slight edge of excitement enters his voice then, and he leans forward even more, now over her...

YN

YN makes a deep breath. Her hands are already tied down, and she has no idea what comes next. Fun Ominis was exciting. This was all new. Sebastian was still watching the other two in awe

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis nods.

I want you to close your eyes. His voice is now very firm and authoritative. I want you to trust me completely here. That's all I ask. Please, just...do as I tell you. Ominis is now giving a look that is half-playful and half-intent, like he is quite serious about the situation while also trying to make it fun. He still has a sense of playfulness to him, but the authority, the confidence, the intent, is now completely clear.

YN

She closes her eyes obediently

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis gives an approving smile as he feels her trusting him with this.

I want you to forget about everything except feeling.

He gives her an understanding nod.

Go with me on this. Trust me.

As he says this, he slowly and deliberately moves his touch on her body to more sensitive areas.

His touch is soft and careful, yet deliberate. He is making this an experience, making her feel every moment. The sensation has been building throughout, but this is the part where it is all going to peak.

YN

She just breathes, slowly fading into the feeling

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis now is clearly loving what he is doing, and makes this quite clear as he gives a sly smile. He moves slowly and carefully now, enjoying himself immensely. His touch is more confident and deliberate, and in many ways, his movements are more...playful...

This whole experience is designed to build up the sensation, and now that it has been built up...it is about to peak, and peak quite hard at that. His touch begins to explore her more...intimate...regions... ...

YN

YN presses her forehead into the bed now

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis continues his very deliberate and purposeful exploration of her body, touching her in all the right places just to build up that sensation...and as the touch moves to more intimate regions, she can feel her heart racing. His touch is still very gentle and careful, but he is deliberately building her pleasure up...it feels like the sensation is about to explode.

His touch is slow, yet deliberate.

It's going to be a quite a release...isn't it?

YN

She says nothing, just draws uneven breaths

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis continues his deliberate and slow exploration, continuing to build her sensation...the touch is deliberate and soft, yet confident and bold...

It seems he is purposefully trying to keep her near the edge...as the sensation slowly builds...it feels like nothing she has ever felt before...it is all building up, building up...building up...

The release is coming...

...You are...almost there now...almost...

YN

She writhes and moves slightly, aching for more

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis looks down on her, with a smug smile. He now looks down on her in a clear look of victory...

Are you ready for this part, my dear?

He now gives her a smile that is half-playful, half-intent...

...Shall we do this? He gives a slight edge of authority in his voice on this.

Or should we save this part? He raises an eyebrow in tease...

YN

Ominis.. she whispers his name. The sound is quiet but also delicious to his ears

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis gives a knowing smile, as he leans down near her ear again.

Yes?

He speaks quietly yet purposefully. His voice is firm and authoritative now, in charge, as he continues to have his touch on her, the touch is still building this up...it's quite clear that the release she'll experience will be powerful...he is almost building her up to the point he wants, very near the edge... ...as he speaks...one would almost think he is controlling the release that is building up...

...Anything you'd like to say, my dear?

YN

Please..

Sebastian Sallow

He gives a smug smile, and now gives a slight little...shove.

As you wish.

The touch pushes just far enough to move her over that edge, the release she experiences in this moment is powerful, beyond that of anything she or he could ever imagine...it is incredibly intense, and she is pushed far beyond her limits in this moment. It is obvious she is experiencing something never before felt, as she can literally feel the release moving through her...just like a... wave.

YN

She arches her back, barely able to control her body. The feeling is all consuming.

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis smiles at her as he feels all of this happening.

...Did you enjoy that, my dear? He chuckles lightly, his voice containing more than just an undertone of authority now...he is still speaking with that playfulness, yet his intent, his confidence, his authority, is clear as never before. He gives her a knowing look for a moment as he says this.

He speaks quietly to her only, and his voice is quiet, yet his tone is powerful and in charge.

YN

She just breathes heavily, processing what just happened, face buried into a mattress

Sebastian Sallow

He gives her a moment. Now that he has done this...there is a clear air of power about him now, like he has accomplished something never done before, his voice is quite powerful, not in its tone, but in its authority.

Good...good.

He is very smug and proud after all that.

YN

Sebastian watches what just unraveled before his eyes in shock. This Ominis was completely different to the one he knew

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis is quite proud in this very moment, but not because he got to this stage...it feels like he would have done this sooner if he could, he is proud that he got to this stage in front of Seb. He looks proudly at Seb, then...

...I must say Seb, I never expected to come to a moment like this with you watching...

YN

Yeah, me either, Sebastian responds.

Sebastian Sallow

So I hope you don’t mind the show...

He gives a slight edge of authority in his voice.

...Because there will be more.

He pauses for a moment...before the smug smile returns to his face.

I must say, I have a feeling you’ll quite like what I have planned next.

YN

YN looks Sebastian in the eyes. This was definitely not the way they planned this night to go

(YN and Sebastian planned to seduce sweet innocent Ominis to join their villainous trio. But Ominis stole the show.) 

Sebastian Sallow

Seb looks between Ominis and YN for a moment. He is quite surprised by just how...aggressive and powerful Ominis has been. Though, he can't help but be impressed, like he's been given an...offer of a sort. He seems conflicted for a moment, like he's in a bit of shock...but then he nods to Ominis...

...I must confess I rather enjoyed the show...

The playful yet powerful edge to his voice is clear now in contrast to the shocked look he gives.

YN

.

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis takes a moment to consider Seb's response...

...So...you enjoyed the show, huh?

His voice is now firm and authoritative, yet playfulness is present too.

...You wouldn't happen to be...feeling like joining, would you?

His tone is full of curiosity, like he's quite interested by Seb's answer...

YN

.

Sebastian Sallow

Ominis looks at him curiously...his tone still full of curiosity and intent.

Would...you...care to join?

His voice has an intent edge to it now...like he almost doesn't have a choice, just like YN didn't for a while there...

...Are you ready to go one step further, my friend?

[divine-elixir]

I wasn't planning on posting this, at all. But this has been eating me for the past few years and I at least want to break my silence and feel a little heard. And hopefully it doesn't look like I'm looking for attention.

Content warning for suicide mention somewhere in there.

I won't go into detail about everything. Mostly because some involved were/are ordained or are a part of a particular religion and I am not interested in potentially attracting unwanted attention. So, anything concerning them has been omitted for their privacy and my best interest and saftey.

For starters, let's just call the individual I was once acquainted with Kathy. Now I remember the day when I was first introduced to Kathy in a discord server sometime around 2017 or 2018. I don't fully remember the exact time frame, but I was quite taken by them. Though a part of me felt that there wasn't something right about them and that I should avoid them...

but I just brushed it off as imagination. They were quite friendly and very open about being not human so what was there for me to worry about? (They never referred to themselves as otherkin, and from what I remember they didn't really care for the community.)

At the time I wasn't very open about being nonhuman myself, so I admired that kind of openness. I actually wanted to be their friend because of this, so I didn't think twice when joining their personal server. Even if I was quiet in there for a long while since they had close friends which they talked to the most. Oddly enough in a few months time those friends of theirs just disappeared from the server one day. Long story short there was drama going on in the background which I wasn't privy to at that moment, and rather quickly I was sort of made one of Kathy's new buddies.

It happened to fast? Maybe it had to do with me also being nonhuman, but it was still odd.

I couldn't say there were any good times for me to remember in that server. Most of my memories of my time being there was just misery and wanting to leave. But I felt like I had nowhere else to go, since I got permanently suspended on twitter around that time. So I was isolated from actual friends and any kind of support for the most part. (I didn't do anything wrong, just joked around with a friend and twitter didn't like that.)

Along with being open about being nonhuman, Kathy was also very outspoken about their spiritual experiences, memories, and astral experiences. Which are all fine by themselves, but they were....pushy about it? I don't know how to describe it. I felt like I wasn't allowed to have an identity outside their personal narrative? The same could be said about others in the server who were nonhuman or adjacent to having/knowing past lives of some sort. Kathy would insist that some of us just had to be certain individuals they knew in their own nonhuman past life and everybody just seemed to roll with it. Which was just concerning. Even their own spouse they claimed such things about too, despite their spouse having no memory of such things.

Despite all of this, Kathy never claimed anything about me. There was no room for me in their narrative, except for the fact that kitsune were liars and cheats. I identified as a kitsune at the time, and I honestly believed them. I couldn't be anything more than that, and Kathy's kind weren't capable of telling lies so it was impossible for Kathy to lie. I feel stupid for believing them, and a part of me still feels afraid to not believe them.

I remember saying that lying was okay in certain situations once and they did not like that. It made me feel wrong and like I wasn't in their good graces....or I was at least losing merit in the group.

If I couldn't play the part Kathy needed me to play then what good was I? And the sad thing is, I don't think they realized how manipulative and full of themselves they were. The server was all about them, and I thought that was okay. There was one occasion when an acquaintance from outside the server questioned me about them, and I found myself trying to justify whatever Kathy chose to do with their own server. I don't even know what possessed me to do so, I just felt I had to...like a part of me was afraid to think any other way.

Kathy liked to say things about their past friends in their server. Such things usually had to do with what sorts of punishments awaited them after death for betraying them, because Kathy was a psychopomp and obviously they knew the whole truth of things. The only truth, and anything outside of that was wrong. The things they said scared me, I was afraid of being bad in their eyes. And to make things worse one of their friends was prone to feeling suicidal, and to "help" with that Kathy would state that suicide victims would be forced to relive their suicides for eternity in the afterlife. The guy didn't see anything wrong with using this "fact" to deter themselves from attempting, and nobody said anything against it like....huh??????

There was just so much nonsense going on in the server. It's hard to even write about it all.

From being mocked by someone everytime I opened my mouth, even when I was expressing my personal worries and nobody stuck up for me. To being told I wasn't actually asexual because I didn't act enough like it in Kathy's opinion. (Of course, I'm not ace now but it was still out of line to determine what somebody else is.)

The worst part was being pulled into Kathy's whole astral war nonsense. I already have a fear of being watched, and Kathy's claims and insistence that anyone associated with her would definitely be prone to being haunted by tengu and demons did absolute damage to me. I already wasn't in a good mental state at the time, and this claim made me paranoid to the point that I was seeing things that weren't there. I could barely sleep at night and was afraid to step out my door.

Actually, that wasn't the worst part. The worse incident was Kathy insisting that this one person in the server was some kind of youkai and then kicking this individual and treating them like the worst thing on earth for having boundaries. Those rightful boundaries being that these claims were messing with their mental health. I couldn't make this up.

Actually everyone who crossed Kathy in some way was demonized, and nobody still in the "friend circle" was allowed to associate with said individuals. We had to unfollow them, because forbid Kathy checked your following list on another website and saw you broke one of their laws.

At some point, I just muted the server and went quiet for several months. I actually felt happy for once. Relieved in fact. I even managed to get back on twitter, thankfully but I felt so awkward around my actual friends. I felt changed in some way, dirty.

I actually think I felt like I couldn't do anything without Kathy? So, if I was on twitter again then I definitely had to be mutuals with them and a few others from the server there too. The worst move I could have ever made, honestly.

Skipping forward to the absolute abysmal part of this all.

One day I was DM'd by someone I was somewhat familiar with in the server I first met Kathy in. Let's call this person Tom. Now, Tom had things out for Kathy. They were in the works of making the nastiest callout post, and I'm sure if I did some digging I could still find it on tumblr. Tom found out, and I wouldn't doubt if they already knew, I was in Kathy's server. They wanted my input and any information I had on Kathy, and I wasn't comfortable with that. Especially not for contributing to a callout post.

Now Kathy was poor and Tom wanted to hurt any chance Kathy had at being able to support themself which was horrid in my eyes. They even claimed Kathy was a race faker, which actually isn't true. I did everything I could to defend Kathy, despite how angry I was at whatever cultish waterboarding I've been put through. Even today, I still think I would defend them when it comes to this. Besides blackmailing people, Kathy did actually do that and I can not defend that.

This next part I still feel very bad about and I wish I had kept my mouth shut. But with enough coaxing I spilled everything I knew to Tom. Not out of hatred but I just felt angry about everything I went through and a part of me wanted it to just all go away.

With whatever Tom was able to pick apart from my words, they asked me if I was okay with them posting the call out, like....why would they need my permission if they were going to post it anyway? They also said they were okay with me telling Kathy who made the post a few days later when they found out Kathy was panicking about it and laying the blame on the wrong person. Turns out Tom had a spy in Kathy's server for a long while now and I was so scared about that fact.

I wanted to tell Kathy about this and explain the whole situation so everybody in the group would stop cannibalizing somebody who did nothing wrong....yet, if I did that would Tom's spy say something to Tom? In all honesty I froze up and didn't say or do anything for days out of fear and I was to afraid to even talk to Kathy. And I mean I was shaking.

In the end, Kathy decided that their past friend definitely made this callout post and that somebody in the group was leaking information.

It came down to me and this one other guy who was actually still friends with this past friend of Kathy's. This guy really blocked his friend just to prove it wasn't him and I basically ended up getting excommunicated by process of elimination. I also got unfollowed, blocked, and unfriended by everybody in the server on other platforms. Including on the Nintendo switch, like......😬.

Unfortunely, it doesn't end there. Tom ended up inviting me to their server of self proclaimed "actually normal people". I was to afraid to refuse....and it also wasn't great there. Tom thought people identifying as nonhuman was nonsense, despite I and one other person identifying as such. This other person also happened to be the one who was falsely accused of writing the callout post. They were also a kitsune so I'm not surprised knowing Kathy's bias.

Tom was not great to be around, at least to me. Always trying to make some post tearing down others, not for good reasons but to stroke their own ego. I hated it in that server too. I still wasn't allowed my own identity out of appeasing another, I was afraid to express any true part of me. I wanted it to fall apart and go away, just like I wanted my "friendship" with Kathy to crumble. And so it did, not long after that wish the server was willfully deleted.

Now, I wasn't really able to express everything that happended or I experienced in full detail. Mostly because my memory is fuzzy or because I feel unable to articulate it all well enough. Though I wasn't trying to write literature just my feelings.

For the longest time after these series of incidents it was common for me to dream about Kathy wanting me back only for their group to beat me senseless for even doing whatever they believe I did. I believed for several months Kathy and their group were stalking or cursing me despite the lack of evidence, but it was all so real to me. I used to wet the bed, and my mental state was so bad this body would begin to hurt. It hurt so bad I couldn't describe it. The fact I was going through this during 2020 didn't help either.

These things don't happen anymore, I'm a little bit better but a part of me still imagines that if I had said something. I could have stayed with Kathy and I would have been good in their eyes. Like I owed them everything, or like....they would love me again. They made me feel special, especially when they let me into their inner circle and called me their special friend. I think it's normal for people with trauma to think this way. Right? I know logically that I shouldn't ever want to go back, and I enjoy not feeling like some kind of prisoner surrounded by people who made me miserable. Although, something in me feels like it's trying to convince me that everything I feel, remember, and wrote is just a lie. That I'm a liar, a cheat, good for nothing and will never be anything more than that.

I don't know. I feel stupid. I had a hard time adjusting and allowing myself to make friends afterward. And despite enjoying being able to finally have a space to talk about who I really am on this blog. A place just for me where I don't have to be whatever somebody else says I am, I still fear that I'm doing things wrong.

It isn't nice to think that all of you hate me, or want me to shut up. It isn't nice to assume those things of others, and I want to believe and know you are all kind and want me to keep talking about whatever I wish to say. Or whatever I feel.

Trying, like actually really trying to participate in the alterhuman and otherkin community is taking a lot of effort on my part. Being seen and heard scares me, but it also feels nice. Being with others makes me want to go back into hiding, but what I want more than anything is to be surrounded by others. I never liked feeling alone, so maybe I shouldn't isolate myself.

[starwrittenfates]

 ❣ For Ominis, Anne, and Harmony :)

SEND ME ❣ FOR 3 PROS & 3 CONS OF DATING MY MUSE!

PROS:

Affectionate: This boy doesn't care about things like blood status. If you find a way into his heart, he will treat you with such warmth and softness. He's honestly a pure cinnamon roll that's too good for this world. He's the type to shower his love with gifts and affection. He especially loves physical touch because of being blind.

Protective: He isn't afraid to fight for those he cares about. Don't underestimate him.

Emotional: Despite having a habit of hiding his emotions and being icy with others he doesn't know too well at first, Ominis is actually very emotional and caring and empathetic. He's for sure the type to be known talking about his love or caught kissing them in the hallways.

CONS:

His Family: Ominis would state this right off the bat (it's honestly the biggest one). Despite caring for his family, he knows how much of a problem they can be. After all, things have been tense between him and them since. And they are terrible about following tradition. It's not that they will stop him from being with someone else (especially if they aren't pure-blood), it's just the fact that things will not be easy being part of the Gaunt family. And he wouldn't want to bring any harm or danger.

Can be Jealous: I can see him getting jealous depending on certain circumstances. After all, it's perfectly human.

Repress Emotions sometimes: Despite being an emotional person, sometimes Ominis has that ability to hide his emotions away, not wanting to come off as a burden or worry someone.

PROS:

Affectionate: Just like Ominis, Anne doesn't care about blood status. She only cares about the person and would be that person going on dates and giving someone homemade gifts.

Playful: I can see Anne being especially playful. After all, she is the twin sister of Sebastian. She has a small little mischievous streak in her, but it's tame and mild compared to her brother. Her's mostly involve's playful wit and banter.

Will take care of you if you get sick: Knowing what it's like to have health problems and feel sick, Anne is assured with having knowledge of how to take care of her loves ones.

CONS:

Her brother (?): Depending on if Sebastian ends up in Azkaban or not, it's clear her brother is obviously a sensitive and painful topic for her. There's also that fact of Sebastian just being protective and I can honestly see him being that brother that carefully makes sure whoever is after his sister knows he will come after them if they hurt her. Oof...don't test it.

Her condition with the curse: Depending on if she's able to find a cure for it or not, this is an obvious one and it's sad. It just makes everything difficult, but grief is worse...

Can't think of a third one...

HARMONY GOODWATER (I haven't made a banner for her yet ^^'''):

PROS:

Loyal: As a Hufflepuff (and just the kind of person she is), Harmony is assured to be loyal to those who earn it. Once you earn her affections and friendship, she is determined to stick by your side. She will never be caught cheating and is very devoted.

Affectionate: With her naturally bubbly personality, Harmony isn't afraid of PDA. In fact, she often forgets that sometimes it's not welcomed by others. She's the type to hug a friend everytime she sees them and if she ends up dating someone, expect that to also involve kisses. She also holds hands and just enjoys being in their company.

Empathetic: She's a people person, but she's also very understanding and feels her (and others) emotions strongly. If you're hurting, she's hurting. If you're happy, she's also happy. It can be both a blessing and a curse.

CONS:

Stubborn: She can be very stubborn and reckless. Despite being a Hufflepuff, if it comes to protecting those she cares about, Harmony will do whatever it takes to keep them safe and stop whoever is causing harm. Even if it involves risking her own life. And when she is like this, it's hard for her to listen to others.

Overly Empathetic: Like I said, it's both a blessing and a curse.

Intense: She can come off this way to some at times mostly because of how passionate and devoted she is, but she proudly wears her heart of her sleeve and cares for others.

[uenodivision]

Kisouna's Thoughts on Ginza Division

Masa Judice

"Masa Judice, a.k.a. Father. Leader of the Ginza Division team, Last Judgment."

"I don't agree with Aranai very often, but when it comes to this individual, I agree with her wholeheartedly. Don't tell her I said that. Ever since the previous priest of the church mysteriously disappeared and this man took control of the church, I've had my eyes set on him for a long time. I've gotten numerous reports of cult-like activity surrounding him and his church, and though it may just be circumstance, I can't help but think he's had a hand in some of the recent killings that have been going on in Japan."

"What truly worries me about this man is the vendetta he seems to have against Shisuta and her family. I don't know the full story, but apparently, Shisuta's mother prevented the priest from amassing religious power and now seeks to get revenge. I don't know what makes him think Aranai and I are going to sit back and let him hurt our friend, but he is sorely mistaken. And if it comes to light that he is involved in something more sinister, he won't get away with it."

Eiji Noguchi

"Eiji Noguchi, a.k.a. MC Mogul."

"I've, unfortunately, had to deal with Noguchi-san and his company, Sigma Inc., on more than one occasion. Usually, it seems like there is always some lawsuit that is going on against his company. And it is almost always for things revolving around his social media platform, PROFILE. Aranai tried to get me into it, but I refused. Social media, in my opinion, is a waste of time. And though I know it has some uses and benefits, it does nothing for me. And ever since its creation, its caused me no end of headaches."

"A prime example is when a man tried to sue Sigma Inc. for the dissolution of his marriage after his wife had been found cheating on him via some messages sent online via the site. I had been hired to represent Noguchi-san. Needless to say, the case was thrown out within an hour or so. Noguchi-san thanked me for my help and paid me well."

"Truthfully, I've nothing against Noguchi-san. He seems like a family man with a good head on his shoulders. Why he chooses to affiliate himself with someone like Masa Judice, I don't know. I simply hope he isn't involved in any of that priest's wrongdoings. It'd be a shame to have to be on the opposite side of him in court this time..."

Oki Teagan

"Oki Teagan, a.k.a. ATLAS."

"The former frontman for the rap supergroup, C H A R O N. Even back when the group was active, reports of this man's attitude and penchant for starting brawls and fights were commonplace. I never had to arrest him, myself, but to say he has a record would be a gross understatement. Shisuta-san wasn't wrong to compare him and Samatoki. I wouldn't be surprised if the two of them were acquaintances."

"His disappearance for the last two years raised some eyebrows. Though a search was put out for him, no sign of him was found. Either he had completely disappeared or something had happened to him. When he turned up now to participate in the D.R.B., it wasn't certainly surprising, to say the least. I may be wrong about this, but I don't think it's too far-fetched to say that Chuohku may have had something to do with his sudden reappearance after all this time..."

Last Judgment

"Like Shisuta-san mentioned, this team doesn't put me at ease, especially the priest. Whatever plans he has for the D.R.B. and for Shisuta, I promise, they will not come to pass. Shisuta is one of my closest friends, and I will protect her, regardless of what I come up against. If this priest seeks to do her harm, I will have him arrested. I promise that. Consider yourself forewarned, clergyman."