#dont ask me whats happening in this image bc idk

[soitsbee]

touch

[milkbreadtoast]

idk how i want to draw him yet and not ready to make a srs attempt but here's a bad kdj phone doodle lol🚶🏻

[perelka-l]

When you both are in a shitty situation and can't even get up and are waiting for someone to arrive (whoever it is, really) and one of you has cigs and other access to fire so you just. Kinda chill for a moment. Like, it's just once, it should be fine, you can forget about it later.

[palestinalibre]

https://www.tumblr.com/anxiouslarrie/691238158115962880/x?source=share

I am super interested in talking about this with you. Could you please share ur opinion on this all???

Hi, anon

[opens-up-4-nobody]

The desire to ask algae academics what images would be most useful for me to draw for the sake of presentations vs the desire to not be precieved by anyone academically

[snekdood]

idk who needs to hear this but anyone who believes anything my abuser says i do not trust at all and im gonna ignore you. like, they looove twisting reality, making things sound worse than they are, love to just straight up lie and turn things im saying into something entirely different from what im fucking saying, and likes to rely on peoples first impression of me (which maybe isnt always the best sometimes) to manipulate their later impression of me. i cant be around someone who perpetuates and enables their gaslighting and lying about me because they genuinely just want to paint the worst interpretation of me that they can (gee i wonder why... wonder if it has to do with hiding their own actions...)

[writersblockended]

Miguel O’Hara - HC

Warnings: no translated Spanish, other than that none??? Just fluff

Miguel O’Hara x reader

First of all that man is extremely romantic

He comes off as a serious man but did you see how he’s able to get bat shit crazy like he did for miles?

So he’s 100% capable of feeling intense emotions and SHOWS it. He’s got no problem with it

So he will shower you with gifts, sugar daddy style

One day you’ll see something in your closet or outside your door and think…I’ve never bought this before did i?

Honestly it didn’t take much to put two and two together, so you would just ask him about it

“Miguel, what did I tell you about buying me things, I’m not gonna have enough space for everything at some point you know?”

“I don’t dont know what you’re talking about.”

You’ll just roll your eyes, he’s never going to learn is he?

He is also jealous, but not controlling

He respects you and trusts you, but he doesn’t trust others

So if you’re in HQ to visit him and you find yourself talking to the different spidermen…

Hobie would be talking to you about politics and the importance of unions for workers, you would animatedly reply

And then walks Miguel…he saw you both and he knew you were going to surprise him

But he couldn’t help but feel jealous

Why couldn’t you go straight to him?

I think those feelings of jealousy come from his fear of losing people

You turn around and see Miguel, you smile

“Hey babe, cómo estás mi amorcito? Te quise sorprender pero ya veo que ya me viste”

“Hola, i see you two are talking, but that can wait. Ven contigo amor.”

You follow him to his lair (or rlly was is it …an office?)

And you go “okay what is it, did you need anything?”

“No, I just wanted you for myself.”

This makes you laugh, honestly Hobie is harmless and Miguel knows this. But he can’t help but feel threatened

He just wants you for himself really.

He’s also a huge cuddle bug, but he doesn’t show his affection in public. He doesn’t have an image to maintain doesn’t he?

At HQ he won’t kiss you unless everyone’s distracted, or he’ll have you sit on his lap while no one’s around.

Honestly it’s so easy to take naps while he’s working on things, those arms are quite literally pillows.

But at home? Oh my god, he’s like him stuck to your hair on a hot day

He will drop that persona and just simply attach himself to you and the nearest piece of furniture.

He will kiss you up and want to lay in bed so he’s fully on you

Sometimes he will fall asleep on you entirely, and he will wake up in the middle of the night panicking thinking he’s hurt you with his huge body

“No te hecho nada no mi amor? Fuck you should’ve told me I fell asleep on you babe”

“Oh my god Miguel you act as if you’ weight a ton, besides it’s no big deal”

He’s honestly such a worrier with you, he just wants you to be happy with him, so sometimes he will overanalyze every aspect of his relationship and you can see the gears turning everytime

Thats when you’ll reassure him and let him know he’s doing great, that he’s an amazing man who should not feel as if you are going to leave him. That simply won’t happen.

He also loved it when you take care of him, mostly bc he’s neglecting himself and it feels good to have someone do that for you u know?

If you give him a massage after a particular long day or tend to his wounds if he’s injured

He will just look at you with these loving glazed eyes and he will just melt under your touch

He acts tough but inside he’s like melted butter, softest guy you will ever meet.

He’s actually so emotional, he’s just good at hiding it

So if you guys argue, he’s upset and will look cranky at work

Once he gets home he sees you and your cold gaze and he will absolutely beg on his knees for your forgiveness, it makes you feel bad instantly, so you forgive him

All in all, your relationship with him is super stable and loving.

So yea this is me attempting to write after two years 😭🫣

Let me know if you guys like it cus idk I’m thinking of going back to writing fanfics and drabbles and all that good stuff ;)

Requests are open!!

[couch-house]

2023 baybeeeee. havent done an art summary in a while since i basically stopped drawing early 2020 and didn't get back on the horse until mid-2022 (i wonder... what could have caused that!) i dont feel like my art has really changed this year, only in the ways that I draw specific sonic characters (looking through my archive is fun bc i can see the progression of the diseases known as Giving Them Big Eyebrows and Drawing The Monoeye) and--more exciting 4 me--my practice with paneling comics! :)

i think the progression is much more noticeably when you line it up with last year's sonic art... i can see all the Milestones.. more talking abt that under the cut

May: couch gets into sonic. June: Yucky Sonic 1.0. this was also the month when i Heard Of fleetway super. July: couch comes back from brazil, having read stc. this is also when i start dong actual short comics. compare may -> june -> july. (also please forgive whatever tf i was doing with skintones. i needed some practice)

august: merger au takes shape. dog invented. also i just really like that speed racer sonic mspaint picture. its fun :) september: deep in the fleet mines. october: i lose a lot of steam and mostly just doodle. another comic comparison for those three months:

november: frontiers comes out. i go crazy mode and make that sonic + knuckles comic with the pretty backgrounds and LOTS OF TINY TEXT. december: winter break AND im tired. january 2023 i come back insane crazy mode and write some fanfiction?? still havent finished that LOL. made some nice cover art :) february: i shift into knuckles mode fora month. make another comic. this one is much better i think :) november -> february

march: i shift into transfem metal sonic mode. also just stick to a lot of doodling. also write more fanfiction. crazy. april: transitory period as i shift back into stc/exit: sonic mode. may: more fanfiction. more comics. i really like how both of these turned out :) while the last two were definitely taking a lot more notes from stc, i think around here i start paying attention to and trying to learn from more creative panelling from artists i admire. like @/superemeralds THOAM and @/starrjoy's pandora au.

june: i play sa2 and it's good. july: i play unleashed and it is both miserable and good. i get in kind of an artistic frustration zone and wiggle my way out. august: idk i think im just chillin. super react dot jpeg happens. it's not even named that, it's named after the other image on the canvas, which was maria holding baby shadow. more comics.

september: i burn out for a bit. get real tired. eventually get back up and make more comics. the goal here and last month has become "try to make more interesting panel shapes. I've noticed other artists don't just use rectangles--try playing with irregular polygons and see where it gets you." well it gets you mixed results as you learn :) also i think after that pause i accept the monoeye into my life. sigh...

october: oc showdown starts and @/neurotypical-sonic asks me to make some halloweeny art :) feels like i dont do much this month bc i focus on those. november: A LOT OF ART?? INSANE. more oc showdown stuff. i play shadow the hedgehog (2005). it's good and i love it. i draw a ton of shit on one canvas for it. Fucking Dember: i have shifted back into stc/EXIT mode. motivation's a little weird bc work's a little weird. doing commissions also makes it weird. well im having fun and being myself :) a final handful of comics from this month:

idk maybe ill do something sicko crazy b4 the end of the year. mayb i'll follow exit sonic's example and #GetWorse. who knows :) well this is fun i love looking at my art and seeing and noticing things. thank u all for your support and I hope we all have a great 2024!

[plutonian-moon]

how it is to having 12h stellium/being 12th houser ? + my experience with it ! ミ☆° ♱⋰

writing this as an 12h stellium myself ! ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ ☆°

!! remember that most of this gonna be my personal experience but also what i observe with others peoples who r 12th housers so if u will not resonate with it and u r 12th houser too then thats okay everyone experience is different keep it in mind ☆° ✮♱✮ !! ☆° !!

▪ we can often feel misunderstood by others as if we are talking to someone but we don't really feel that the other person understands us we can talk to someone and suddenly someone interrupts us, feeling ignored and alone even around a large number of people around us can be something we struggle so much, apart from the feeling of alienation and loneliness and not knowing who we rlly are, sometimes we look in the mirror but we have a blurred image of ourselves as if we were but we were not.. ‧₊˚✩彡

▪we easily attract vampire energy and people who want to take advantage of us and suck all the good energy out of us, we are often unaware that we are giving too much to the bad people until it is too late and we become exhausted but not only these people make us feel overwhelmed.. the presence of other people in most degrees makes us feel overwhelmed ‧₊˚✩彡

▪peoples dont rlly know us we tend to take the form of a chameleon that fits into the character of people depending on who we r with atm not to mention that we feel things very easily, we simply feel that something or someone is not right we have a natural intuition which practically always confirms itself, and bc a lot of energy of people overwhelms us we find more comfort in being alone.. yk know what its like to know something but not know how we know something we just feel that we know without knowing how?? it is the influence of the energy of the 12th house that most likely makes manifesting something so easy for us so we have to be careful with our thoughts .. our subconscious also sends us signs that we can look for in dreams yes in dreams bc we can have them very realistic to such an extent that waking up crying in the morning can be a natural thing for us! often our dreams can also give us warnings and can manifest in real life ‧₊˚✩

▪when it comes to relationships with others, we can often meet people who at first it may seem that we have a great connection and then these people suddenly disappear from our lives it happens that the universe often tests us by giving us punishable relationships .. as the 12th house rules hidden enemies we can have many just people who will pretend to like us also attracting people who r going through a difficult life or struggling with substance abuse, mental health etc we can often meet these types of peoples bc they need healing in some way .. peoples will ask us about various kinds of advice bc others see us as a person who has been through a lot even with a lot of energy of the 12th house we often have quite hard experiences in various aspects of life (family home, relationships / friendships, etc.) ‧₊˚✩彡

▪ others have hard time seeing our personality its can be alot of confusing here bc thats what doing neptune. we r giving to others energy and personality that differs in reality from who we rlly r, which is a burden for us bc we often get lost in who we are, we often feel empty and lost, which leads to isolation with the energy of the 12th house, people generally trust us easily and can easily share their life experiences and secrets to us very easly! as our energy is very noticeable even if we don't want it and even if we are not aware of it, often others can know we are having a bad day, we r sad or smth is just wrong as we tend to wear our emotions on our face ‧₊˚✩彡

▪we r looking for deep spiritual and thelephatic connection with someone and most of the time we have so many deep connections its can be with our lovers, friends etc! ‧₊˚✩彡

▪idk if this is only me but when i am for example at an party and i feel that something or someone is draining my energy i need to leave and be alone to process my feelings and mind .. or just random i will leave something to just be with myself bc there is too many peoples ‧₊˚✩彡

▪sometimes i random disappear from social media, and i cant explain why but its happen alot idk if others 12th houser are like this too but yea ‧₊˚✩彡

▪we tend to have hidden enemies .. like we can feel bad energy from this person but we also hmm cant explain why we get this bad energy, we can feel something but we can have hard time explain whyy we feel this way and most of the time our intuition is very good about peoples and our friends/lovers even someone from families can easly becomes enemies ! so we need to be careful with peoples bc not everyone will have good intentions to us ! ‧₊˚✩彡

▪12th housers bc its pisces house right we tend to stucks in the past and not focusing on this moment that is here ‧₊˚✩彡

▪attracting peoples with addictions + mental health issues etc is very common ! also we giveee aloottt to the wrong peoples we can be very overgiving but others dont give us the same energy as we give ‧₊˚✩彡

▪we can have lack of boundries in friendships, love etc .. ‧₊˚✩彡

▪another thing that i wanna say is that we can have alot of proprethic dreams that can manifest into our life ! also we are easly manifesting what we think about : ‧₊˚✩

▪we tend to be very gifted with many talents so many of us have even hidden talenets ! alot of 12th housers r attracted 2 astrology, numerology, mbti, psychology, criminology, drawing etc ! so thats why u see alot of 12th housers who are astrologers ! also musicans and artistics gifts can be rlly very strong !! ‧₊˚✩彡

▪12th house also talks about escaping so with having 12th house placements we tend to escaping alot of the time and in many forms for example (escaping in form of listening 2 music, sleeping, going into walk by urself, even in some cases escaping in form of substance abuse) ‧₊˚✩彡

▪most peoples dont want the best for us and might talk random shits about us behind back, there are peoples here that gonna be jealous of us and they will want to destroy us in the most subtele way bc its 12th house so hidden enemies u cant see them .. !! its opposition to 7th house that rules open enemies so keep it in mind !! ‧₊˚✩彡

▪bc of having the energy of the 12th house we may have difficulty letting go of the past, therefore we tend to stay in relationships / situations that are bad and toxic for us and are causing pain bc we can get too attached to others, also most of us have difficulty cutting off from toxic peoples or they will keep coming back to us even if we cut them off from our live, as if they were returning because we didn't learn the lessons they came to us with, also we may have difficulty setting the boundary between the other person and often we are a therapist for most peoples, and others can easly vent to us and expect advice and help from us which can have also bad side peoples often can even abuse us and expecting too much so we can feel very overwhelmed and we can feel that we want to help everyone but in fact we realize that we dont recognive the energy that we give so we want to cut ourselves off from everyone and just disappear ‧₊˚✩彡

▪we have an issues with putting urself our needs at first bc we put others in the first place, which again can exhausts us mentally + emotionally ‧₊˚✩彡

▪very often peoples can cross our borders, an example of this may be that the person we offer something refuses the first time, the second time, the third time, etc and this person still puts pressure on us to go somewhere that we don't want to go ‧₊˚✩彡

▪we can have experiences in the past with paranormal things or we can feel the presence of someone, etc. we can very easily feel the energy, be it people or something else, it doesn't matter, we just have this ability and at the same time we are equally sensitive to some energies so we need to isolate ourselves from others and be alone, listen to music, calm down or go to sleep, do a self care routine, take a bath or anything that will make us happy or calm us down! ‧₊˚✩彡

▪as the 12th house also rules karma, we can attract karmic relationships that teach us earlier I mentioned this a bit earlier but also the point is that people who hurt us can quickly get their karma whether it's about relationships or other aspects of their lives they just get their karma sooner or later ‧₊˚✩彡

▪ want to mention is hospitals, water and mental health problems so the topic is not very interesting but we have to keep that in mind the fact that the 12th house is a hard house in astrology so it will also talk about more difficult things anyways going to the topic : the 12th house rules hospitals, water and mental health problems so peoples who are 12th houser may have either fear before being in the hospital or fear of water / swimming due to previous unpleasant events related to it or it just scares them for some unexplained reason as for mental health problems people with a strong influence of the 12th house can often struggle with mental health problems, whether with strong fears, paranoia, hallucinations or with severe depression, dissociation (derealization/depersonalization) etc ₊˚✩彡

▪when it comes to childhood and family because i want to mention that most of us didn't have the most colorful one often in childhood we could feel misunderstood, abandoned and we could get little support/love/attention just the care everyone deserves therefore, the consequences of this are that we often get into unhealthy relationships because even if they are unhealthy, this person can give us attention, and since we missed him, we will ignore who this person is just because (depending on whether we know that we are ignoring on purpose or not ) if we cut off contact with this person, we will be left without attention, which we may miss a lot, in general, we tend to idealize people who are not worth it and we are mostly blind to the red flags that someone is having. we could also have parents who were not present or one of the parents was not or was but was not physically or emotionally present ‧₊˚✩彡

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩ ♱⋰ ⋱✮ *ੈ✩‧₊˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩

[dearweirdme]

I thank you for your detailed answer and I understand that things must not be easy for closeted ppl specially with their level of fame and I understand now the importance of choosing a bit more of artistic freedom and freedom in general but I still think that him agreeing to do this was one of the worse things he could have done for his career and i also feel now that him choosing to publicly do a lot of things that very much pointed at him and jk being together was really distasteful, I never would have thought this before but I just don't see the point of him wishing to make a point about his relationship with jk at all after doing what he did, I really wonder what was he thinking? Ppl won't take him seriously, won't take that relationship seriously at all, he's just harming his image bc he had that mediaplay above his head. There's just a lot of ppl thinking he's been gaybaiting all along instead of defending his gf, I guess this probably was important to him, sharing a bit about his real self while everyone was believing lies but it was such a bad choice now that I see it in retrospective. I didn't it take like that at all when all of this was happening I guess I just felt relieved that this hadn't changed and that he was still fighting but now it's like what are you even fighting? You did that and no one is going to seriously see anything statement in what you do with your bandmate, no one. And this will continue like that unless they ever come out which I doubt it will ever happen considering the choices they made. I remember even being somewhat upset back then for what I took as jk distancing himself from Tae publicly when I thought he needed the support the most but now I understand that he did it bc what is even the point in contradicting in any way a mediaplay he took part of and that has a purpose they must have agreed, was needed.

I really wish things would have been different and that Tae would have acted different, it's the way I'm 100% sure that tk are together and I have been for years and I still feel disappointed and I know is my fault for putting ppl I dont know personally into pedestals but it's just like I'm finding out that Tae is not as cool and brave as the person I had in my head and that also most ppl won't ever see him like that too and all the opposite bc of that mediaplay and the way he chose to act after it.

Seeing twt and TikTok and basically every platform after this is having a reminder that ppl really do see him as a coward, liar and a loser, even armys and idk when this will change, I don't think this at all bc i know it's not the truth and I used to get really defensive but now I have to accept that this are consequences of the choices he made, this and ppl never taking queerness related to him as anything but a joke or queerbaiting or fans deliriums

Hi anon!

responding to this ask:

Sorry for being late to respond to this, I've been sick these last couple of days (still feel awfull and pretty ligthheaded honestly, so If I seem weirder than usual... that's probably why.. also, I'm probably making more spellingmistakes than usual😶). I have had plenty of time to think about this though, because both this ask and your former one made me actually really sad... and I did want to think through why you felt like this, and why my feelings are so opposite. So here I go, and I don't mean to be harsh or insult, but at the same time.. this is how I feel.

We all have our own ideas about who we think an artist is. I think it is very clear that amongst fandom, there are many differetn thoughts going around about who Tae and Jk are as persons... what they are like on the inside. When we form an idea about who we think someone is, we also start getting expectations... and I think that is why it's almost unavoidable that at one point we get a bit dissapointed. It can be small disappointements (like, not liking an add, or a song, or that they smoke) but it can also be big dissapointments... like the one you are feeling right now. I think this also ties in with how so many were feeling negatively towards Jk when he didn't act how many wanted him to during Tae's Layover. Expectations were set (because of them being Tkk, but also because of how many perceived his actions during Jm's Face), and he failed misserably in many eyes.... but I digress.

We don't really know them well enough to be able to have that kind of expectations though.... especcially when it comes to their private lives (and when we talk about their closet, or their relationship... that is what those are). As Tkkrs we feel very connected to Tae and Jk. So much so, that at times we feel as though we are fighting alongside them. We make their battle ours. But ultimately it isn't. We can support them, and we definitely should.... but we should at the same time be aware that it is THEIR lives. Only they know the inns and outs of their lives, only they know what's at stake for real.. so they are the only ones who get to decide. So I understand that you might feel dissapointed because you feel you've been fighting for them so hard and now one of them made a choice that to you doesn't fit with what you think you've been fighting for... but at the same time I think you are wrong, because.. we don't know what it is that they are fighting for, and we don't know the exact inns and outs of their lives.

Personally, I've never fully felt as though they are fighting hard to be able to come out or to show us that they are romantically together. I just think that's not even an option for them at this point, both from a business perspective and a private perspective. There's a few instances where I feel Tae went a bit further (the insta pic before Paris, him posting only Jk and Bam before enlisting, the matching T-shirts). To me most of the other stuff is just them living their lives adn things we pick up on because we pay attention. So your and my starting point is different, I don't see them/Tae a someone who has been "wishing to make a point about his relationship with Jk". I think he has wanted to.. very much so, but don't think it is realistic to think that he wanted to out them. Your sentence "Ppl won't take him seriously, won't take that relationship seriously at all"... that's kinda what this is all about right, we're not supposed to take it seriously in a way. Because if everyone would take them seriously, they would be out.

Being in a shipping fandom will forever be weird. Would I reccommend it to anyone.. well, no 😂. It comes with a lot of highs but also with a lot of lows and I consider it to be a neverending rollercoaster of emotions in which you will actaully get bitchslapped from time to time. We will forever be fandom's punching bag. Are we to blame Tae and Jk for that? I personally don't.. and I've though about this hard the last few days. But my answer has continously been that: no, they didn't choose this. It's society that's wrong. That does not mean that I think they can never do anything wrong, there's things that would go too far for me as well. But imo that's not the case here. He did one walk, we don't know what he expected the fan response to be. Maybe he was expecting us all to brush past it with force like we do so many times. Maybe he thought it would have past already with that bua (which is what often happens). You are making a lot (!) of assumptions on his thought process and motives, when in reality we know nothing about it.

We know nothing about the actual hardships they have gone through. When I try to imagine what feelings they must've had throughout all these years of hiding is bad though. It's not just a case of not holding hands whne the camera's are off. It comes with being shamed, with feeling afraid, with feeling alone, with feeling wrong, with feeling you should let the other go because your just an obstacle to them, with feeling like maybe you should just leave, with feeling like you are letting everyone down... and that's just what I can imagine. We don't know the specific memories that haunt them. We know Tae has had mental health problems. To me it is not unimaginable that being closeted had a big part in that. I also think he always put the band before his own needs (wanting to resign for the members). I think the situation has been much more dire than any of us can guess. So when Tae chose an option (and we don't even know which other options there were) to maybe get some more freedom in at least one part of his life, I just think of him and his situation with a lot of empathy.

I suppose all the Taennie insanity from last week has bothered you. And maybe it made you feel as though we will never get rid of them. While I do think Taennie will have a bit of a long term effect, it's more in the sense of every now and then there will be an article refering to a rumored relationship. Taennies themselves will disapear sooner or later (as soon as Jennie is spotted with someone else basically). They are desparate, their ship meant nothing and is basically an empty vessel. Their is no real depth to it. I was kinda joking a while ago by saying I'll get a Jkk like essay in my inbox soon... but honeslty, Taennies aren't even able to leave an in depth essay.. because they have only bits of similar jewelry and edited pictures.

I have often said that Tae and Jk's relationship with Tkkr-fandom must be a complex one. It's a very onesided one, and I think we have to make amends with the fact that it's always going to be a one-sided one. That doesn't mean they don't appreciate us, but it does mean that they will probably never act out their appreciation.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

sorry i have to brainfart this somewhere but mersault chuuya wearing almost damn near similar clothing to his youth got me thinking about dazai and chuuya's fashion choices.

dazai, in all the eras where he was in the mafia....never changes his outfit. it fitting, given his character and such.....so his ada outfit makes him look like a rainbow. dark blue vest, blue gem(?) bolo tie, striped shirt and a tan coat similar to oda's. i think it's cool, to show the stark contrast between his pm days and how he's faring now, aswell to show how much effect oda had on him.

chuuya.....is the complete opposite. boy changes his clothes all the time. but it's so interesting.

his fifteen outfit is very "him" in a sense. street kid, street kid style- red shirt, grey hoodie, green leather jacket, bright blue sheep armband. he fits right in with the rest of the sheep, and hes so...colorful here. almost similar to ada dazai's outfit. and then theres the outfit he wears in the mafia- the first one we saw back in the manga where he seems to be wearing like a..."beta" version of his current outift- but the way it was drawn (disregarding the anime for a second) it looks like its almost ill fitting for him. the vest is too big, the coat looks so heavy, the tie isnt properly tucked, and his pants are baggy. like hes struggling to "fit in".

then theres sb outfit- hes wearing the standard mafia outfit like higuchi, but with his own touches- rolled up sleeves, glasses tucked in his breastpocket, choker, gloves. its not much, but even higuchi doesnt do anything to hers. we kinda see him "getting into" the mafia work, and theres no pop of color here. the dragon head conflict outift is different though- hes wearing clothes that are "his style" again. simple shirt, jacket, choker, gloves. he also has his red petticoat (i think thats what it is? whatever that long cloth underneath his jacket) that, once again, gives him some color. i dunno what spured the outfit change, but i honestly think the red color is his own touch- his own "color"

and then current chuuya. no color at all, maybe safe from the ribbon on his hat. he wears his coat on his shoulders, similar to pm dazai. (also, slight off tangent here- he always loses his coat whenever hes dealing with dazai?? i think?? which is. interesting. given with how glued pm dazai's coat is to his own shoulders. like he actively takes it off/gets it taken off and i SWEAR this only even happens when hes with dazai. idk. ever since asagiri said beast dazai wearing his coat fully to signify him accepting his role as the pm boss ive been. thinking about it. a lot.)

where was i going with this?? oh yeah. why is mersault chuuya wearing his old clothes?? specifically fifteen clothes? like was it his off day or something. bc if you look at chuuyas various outfit as his progression towards the mafia then him wearing his old non mafia clothes either means two things : 1. this is to signify chuuya, under vampire influnce, is well. obviously not loyal to the mafia atm. or 2. something might happen in the future that makes him swear allegiance to someone else which i dont find possible but??? who knows. im overthinking this

Oh my god I opened my asks to find this monster in here and scrolled through it like ?????????

Please feel free to do this anytime this was an absolute joy to read hahaha

"dazai, in all the eras where he was in the mafia....never changes his outfit." His outfit stays pretty similar, you're right, though he does actually change it once during his mafia days. The left image is the outfit he wears in Fifteen and Stormbringer, while the right is what he wears in DHC and Dark Era.

The difference is the blazer jacket he adds under his coat. It's a minimal change but I think it's significant. I mentioned in this post how I believe the change might be related to his change in pronoun from boku to watashi, but really it's more the added layer of distance that makes this significant. Dazai just looks a little... odd, in the first outfit. The coat hangs off him loosely, his shirt is a little baggy. He looks very boyish, and that makes his deceptive tendencies and deeply concerning outlook all the more disturbing to others.

The second outfit makes one change but his clothes now look like they fit him (still with the exception of the coat, which never fit and never will... in this universe anyways. You mentioned Beast so... you know already hehe). In the case of the second outfit, he looks more mature and formal, which lends itself to a person who withdrew further and further away from people (with the exception of the other two at Bar Lupin); who became a terrifying executive in other's eyes, moving away from the "creepy intelligent child" image he had earlier - even though he is still very much a kid. No one knows Dazai - I think the added image of formality and authority here is just one of the many barriers he constructed to keep people from getting too close.

"so his ada outfit makes him look like a rainbow. dark blue vest, blue gem(?) bolo tie, striped shirt and a tan coat similar to oda's."

hjdfvbdjf rainbow - entering his no longer closeted gay era (sorry lol i couldn't resist)

No but you're right about the coat looking a bit like Oda's. He cared for and respected that man like no other and I think when Dazai thinks of "a good person" Oda is the first person who comes to mind. His shirt in the manga is also stripy like Oda's, a little detail that got lost in the anime. :')

"his fifteen outfit is very "him" in a sense. street kid, street kid style- red shirt, grey hoodie, green leather jacket, bright blue sheep armband. he fits right in with the rest of the sheep, and hes so...colorful here."

Yeah. He looks every bit the street kid and blends with the Sheep near perfectly - more than fitting in though, I think it's more than implied that he wants to fit in and changes his look to do so. Chuuya goes to great lengths to give the appearance of fitting in - because he never felt like he truly did (and certainly the Sheep did not treat him like an equal or a friend).

"and then theres the outfit he wears in the mafia- the first one we saw back in the manga where he seems to be wearing like a..."beta" version of his current outfit- but the way it was drawn (disregarding the anime for a second) it looks like its almost ill fitting for him. the vest is too big, the coat looks so heavy, the tie isnt properly tucked, and his pants are baggy. like hes struggling to "fit in"."

YES you get it!! And adding onto that, Chuuya doesn't really have a lot of reason to want to fit in yet. He hasn't found his personal groove yet, because he has little personal attachment to the mafia at this point in time.

Yeah in Stormbringer he's got a few personal touches but is still pretty non-descript (though you're right, it's much more than Higuchi... something to think about for her character too, and how it seems the mafia may be more of a job than an investment to her). By Dead Apple though, Chuuya's outfit is... well, back to his punk vibes, just a little more mafia-classy, I guess. (I don't know fashion I'm sorry, please don't kill me)

"but i honestly think the red color is his own touch- his own "color""

Red makes a lot of sense as a colour for Chuuya. It's energetic, emotional, fierce and aggressive. It's also considered protective, so yeah it suits him for sure. Red clothes, red ability... red camellias...

"and then current chuuya. no color at all, maybe safe from the ribbon on his hat." Ooo ok. So in the anime, this is true but in the manga, I believe his vest is actually a pale red.

Well. Brown with red undertones. Your point still stands though because the colour is very muted. It's not like Fifteen or DHC Chuuya for sure.

"(also, slight off tangent here- he always loses his coat whenever hes dealing with dazai?? i think?? which is. interesting. given with how glued pm dazai's coat is to his own shoulders. like he actively takes it off/gets it taken off and i SWEAR this only even happens when hes with dazai. idk. ever since asagiri said beast dazai wearing his coat fully to signify him accepting his role as the pm boss ive been. thinking about it. a lot.)"

Oh. Thinking on this. Um. Embarrassed to say - I don't think I noticed that actually. Like obviously he loses the coat a lot and that was already something to think on but... only around Dazai, is that right? Hold on, I'm gonna check.

Ok so my check wasn't super thorough (read: I am too tired and drained to go through each and every panel he appears in) but...

By god, I think you're right.

That's. Hm. I'm going to join you on thinking about that for awhile.

I see the coat as a representation of his role and responsibility he takes on, really, so it's interesting that the formality and symbolism of his service to the mafia gets quite literally discarded in the scenes with his foil and equal. Fascinating.

He's also not wearing it in any of these now infamous panels from Chapter 101:

Huh. Well. Thank you anon. You've just given me a whole new thing to whir about.

"why is mersault chuuya wearing his old clothes?? specifically fifteen clothes?"

Honestly, I'm still waiting to figure this out too.

Because of the purplish hue over this piece of new art, I find it hard to tell what the actual colours of his outfit are but it does look awfully similar to his Fifteen outfit. It could just be his "day-off" outfit but I think there's got to be more to it than that. It could have to do with allegiance, like you suggested. May I also suggest the return to a sense of inhumanity?

These are also the clothes he wore when his journey to find answers on himself began. Might he be entering a new arc where he has to "find" himself again?

I still feel we don't have enough information to make a solid judgement. As the meursault pov continues, I think we'll have a better reason as to why he's dressed like this.

[who-the-fuck-knows-blog]

edit: i wrote this like an hour or two after the episode. was in a really dark place. am only in a slightly LESS dark place. just want to emphasize that i dont actually. blame. djenkins or like. idk. i cant tell how i feel because i don’t want to blame creatives for the effect their narratives have on me personally. i dont want to make a bigger deal than is necessary i just dont know what is right and wrong in this scenario. sorry. ive seen people saying blaming him or talking about this is bad. and im just in The Horrors with my mental illnesses so i’m paranoid i’m doing something wrong here. I’m not saying djenkins meant for this to be the result. i dont think he would at all believe that. i think he meant for the best to happen. its not his fault or responsibility that i feel this way and that others feel this way. i’m mentally ill. i am not the arbiter of truth or sanity. i don’t want to delete this because its a marker of a vent/emotion/situation i went through. but it does not reflect my current beliefs entirely.

christ alive maybe think about shit for a minute like. to be like “i like when mentor figures die so i wanted izzy to die for eds growth bc he was like a mentor to ed”. ed spent the entirety of the first two episodes abusing the fuck out of izzy, izzy nearly killed himself. izzy got his leg cut off.

and then we think “okay. well clearly, izzy isnt coping well because theres no way that was his actual fault” yk. like sane rational people who have been victims of abuse in the past and used similar coping mechanisms to protect ourselves and our images of our abusers because we loved them.

we think “the show can’t possibly be telling us that izzy deserved it.” and then. he says “i provoked you. its my fault you attacked me.” and its not criticized or shot down or retaliated against. he deserved to get abused because he was harsh and wanted blackbeard to exist because without him he felt unimportant to ed. because he needed that closeness with ed but was denied because of their lifestyle.

what you end up with isn’t a mentor figure who went through the horrors and then died after a fruitful life. you end up with a man who was severely traumatized, suicidal, drinking to cope, telling the other man that serially abused him that it was okay because he was asking for it. a man who was just discovering he could be safe now dying immediately after.

i dont care if thats how redemption arcs or character arcs are supposed to go, if you are supposed to give this character everything and then kill him because his purpose was served. that message will cause so much harm to a lot of people. it already has.

please can someone talk to me or something. engage with me. i dont feel good. im feeling really really bad.

[cerealmonster15]

scuse me i gotta go be embarrassing under the cut brb 🚶

@cosmiccoincidence @felix-the-lemon-king well FUCK ok hi lol 👋

so like images from the engtwst translation that altered my brain forever:

so like. 🧍🙈 URGHGHHHG lol. felix u may have heard some of or all of this tangent before in the dms LOL but

my attempt at long story short: friend and i were into twst well before engtwst came out, so when we saw the official translation translated cater's "leona-kun" to "leona, sweetheart," we were like 🤨sweetheart?🤨🤨🤨 jkslajKLDJL like ik it's a casual thing meant here but. however. you see LOL

longer details: me being how i am as a person™, i let this fester in the back of my brain and it gradually grew out of control. i dont like. theyre not a pair i think of when i think of My Cater Ships. HOWEVER as i do with most leona potential ships(???) they read as exes to me here JSDLFG like. me with my soap opera lenses on [they are never off. sorry.] has me running wild w/this like leona/cater having A Thing of some undefined nature like maybe last year. tapping into cater's implied vibes of not always letting people get super close / used to kinda keeping things surface level and making the most of Being In The Moment and less concerned about making lasting ties bc hes used to stuff not lasting from his moving around etc etc whatever. like cater and leona starting off w/ a bond of just quietly being in each others space [i mean caters a chatterbox LOL im thinkin those rare moments where hes like mask off kinda lethargic or something. caycays such an interesting character w/a lotta mystery in that regard but i do NOT have time to get into that so just!!! bear with me LOL JFKLSDJF]

anyway i feel like i recycle the same plotlines with characters/ocs forever but thats just too bad: cater+ leona bonding somehow dont worry about it. idk leonas a spelldrive star and caters really good at flying so They Could Bond -> somehow falling into like a Casual Lowkey Relationship where theyre like 'we arent DATING dating, no labels and mostly just hang out when no one's around but Something Undefined is happening here. they kiss or whatever lol -> they emphasize w/e they have is strictly casual and 'doesnt mean anything' -> perhaps cater emphasized the 'doesnt mean anything' part more idk -> some forbidden feelings kinda spark anyway but one or both of em are just kinda. ignoring/denying it lol -> ive had a specific image in my brain for a Long Time of like. cater kissing lion boy. then being like ✌️its ok, its just for fun dont worry doesnt mean anything ✌️ -> and like its a mutual neutral feeling At First but like eventually i think their Situation falls apart for one reason or another and theres Tension

^i said takes place the year before the game starts but i think i also had it in my mind toying w/the idea of it as like a SUMMER FLING/ROMANCE(?) that ended RIGHT BEFORE school started. or idk maybe it ended right before they got out for break. WHATEVER.

point is those screenshots are from book 2 which is still pretty early on in the school year so ive got the vibe of like "oh things are still awkward between them, the 'breakup' is still relatively fresh, and leona feels bitter about it and is playing extra hardball with these guys and also harshly teasing them about it bc caters there and hes Emotional but taking it out sports style" lol. and supplementing that Specific Image In My Head^ i imagine in that convo in the screenshots w/cay being like 😔leona sweetheart plz chill😔 leona would just be like 😒well. it 'Doesnt Mean Anything' so whats the problem here 😌 😒

anyway. you maybe didnt really ask for the extra headcanon au lore whatever details but i gave them to you anyway LOL my LeoCay Messy Breakup AU. but i ALSO just like drawing them together bc cay is my fave and fun to draw, and leona is Also fun to draw 😔 my fave character cay + character i have been dragged kicking and screaming to kind of respect over time KLJFSDKLJFL every time leona says or does something that makes me think hes cool or smart i get SO MAD about it. seething at book 6 LOL SJDKLFJD twst with their damn complex characters making me Think Deeply 😒 and then i steal their deep blorbos and put them in my funny little barbie dreamhouse soap opera recycled romance drama plotline loop forever and ever and ev

ahem. so yea on the surface. pair that probs would never ever work out HOWEVER it's MY mind palace and i can make up whatever silly rules i want!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[juni-ravenhall]

sso's candle, and jumping into the ai bubble for publicity and investment

so yasmin told me to write about this bc not everyone might realise it. its a bit of a long topic so prepare. for legal reasons this is all my personal opinion :3

first off - the sso candle doesnt actually have anything to do with ai. i just wanna get that out of the way. i will come back to this later.

the sso candle ai promotional event is 2 things to me. one is, "probably someone at the company knew someone at the other company bc why else would this specific random collab ever happen" (and theyre not even a candle company? its a perfume company?)

but the other thing which is the main thing, is that we've entered the ai boom, or ai economic bubble. before this there was a crypto bubble, there's sort of been a mobile bubble, and we have the old classic dotcom bubble. summary of tech bubble is, a new shiny thing in tech makes ppl go OOOH!! I WILL THROW MY INVESTMENT MONEY AT THAT!! I BETTER HURRY AND NOT MISS THE TRAIN!! IM GOING TO GET FILTHY RICH BY INVESTING IN THE FUTURE!!! and many of these ppl dont actually understand the tech, and can therefore be exploited by startups or new projects targetting these investors, by just saying "we use the shiny thing that is the future and will make people rich".

just like the dotcom and crypto bubbles, everything that has "ai" in it is currently getting lots of attention both from media and from investors. things that are about "ai" are currently like "wow! youre using modern tech and this is the future!" and for all those ppl who dont know that much about ai or tech, or tech ppl who are easily influenced, it makes companies look cool and modern and forward if they include that current shiny thing.

what does sse achieve by making promotional vids and posts about an ai candle? attention from media and potential investors. the playerbase doesnt care. their target audience arent ppl who generally care much about ai, or even support its usage in creative fields.

they also count on that the playerbase wont be mad enough about it bc most players dont rly care or understand. which is prob going to be an accurate prediction. so they dont especially lose on it unless theres a genuine uproar, but even then, theres a lot of space in "genuine uproar" that still results in "no such thing as bad publicity".

so, thats my perspective on why sse did the ai candle thing. publicity for investors and the industry and media. it helps both sse and the little weird "ai" (side eyes) scent company who both get ai bubble points here. its completely unrelated to what players want or care about (and as many have said, players actually do want to buy things from sse - like plushies and other merch).

now to the last point. the candle isn't even ai, and it's really just an ai boom trending word thing for attention.

some ppl on ssoblr dont really understand what ai is or how it works, or how its already been in use for a long time. im not really gonna explain all of that but i do ask you to like... watch a video or read a wikipedia article or something and please educate yourself on what ai is and isnt. anyway,

supposedly this company feeds pictures into whatever ai model theyre supposedly using. the ai supposedly spits out things like "sunshine :) dirt :) chupacabra :)" from the customers phone pics and then actual perfumers mix blends based on what the ai supposedly told them from the pics.

idk if ur catching on here but, there are trained perfumers here who have seen the customers' pics with their own human eyes. they humanly blend scents based on the content of pics theyve humanly seen. (unless all perfumers at the company are also blind and the ai is their only way to find out whats in the pics, and if so, power to them, ofc.) and, at best, an ai has supposedly told them some generic image analysis terms, which are unlikely to be very helpful to the art of scent design.

there is absolutely nothing the supposed ai is actually doing here. theres no reason for it to be here. it contributes nothing to the process. exceeeeeppppttttt..... clicks!!!! articles. videos. wow! crazy ai scents! wow! ai horse candle!! thats crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so future!!!!!!!!!!

the scent company is a classic tech bubble startup (allegedly from my perspective in my opinion). they dont even use ai (allegedly from my perspective in my opinion). they want a quick buck for looking like a modern futuristic business to the FOMO investors who fall for this every single time theres new shiny tech (allegedly from my perspective in my opinion). and sse collabs with them for pretty much the same reason (allegedly from my perspective in my opinion).

[vacantgodling]

i ask about art style because i'm currently trying to develop one myself. i can do realism well but that's not what i want to do, and it's harder to do that from imagination anyway (at least for me). i always need an exact reference, which really narrows down what i can draw. but i really can't figure out how to stylize things kajsfkjs.

AHHH i see what you mean lmao. it’s not really a problem i’ve fully dealt with (i’ve never been good with realism so i never tried 💀) but a couple of tips that i’ve found help me with drawing what i want to draw:

the first one is gonna sound sacrilegious in some circles but like hear me out tbh: reference / *trace / examine styles that you like or that are close to what you’re looking to go for in your art. directly reference them when you’re drawing and mimic them so you can get a feel and understanding for how the style itself operates. i say trace with an asterisk bc i know people are like OMG DONT TRACE but to me personally tracing is bad when you trace over someone’s art directly and claim it as your own. p shitty. tracing to understand style is a completely different thing bc you’re using it as a learning tool. i do it all the time tbh and i find learning from actual art vs real photos is super helpful in understanding how to stretch your limits artistically. it helps you think more in a “this is stylistic how are they capturing that” versus capturing the image as close to real as possible.

secondly, using reference isn’t bad, but use them like stepping stones—don’t be afraid to patch different references together so you can “see” something. it takes a good while to get to a point where you can just dream up whatever and have it happen lol. but i tend to use references more like “fill in the blanks” when i can’t figure things out. it’s gonna be uncomfortable but think of it like writing a scene or describing something — a place, a character, etc. you can’t “reference” that writing to life, you have to prod and poke and fiddle with it to get it sounding how you like in your head. drawing is very similar just with images. sometimes what helps me personally is i will list out what traits i want a drawing to have or i’ll discuss them with myself beforehand of what this character looks like (bc i mainly do character art lol) and what things i need or want to include. then i go reference hunting if there’s certain things i can’t picture just so i can make it a clearer visualization. then i start drawing. a kinda example is this picture here, where you see on the side i have a list of characteristics and then the finished oc (verin) in the middle lol.

or, in this i literally found a stylized wig to help me figure out how to draw the hair (the bun specifically) bc i was BUGGIN about it i could not figure it out and it was making me Angry

but that’s what i mean by using a piece of a reference. i didn’t use a ref for the rest of the drawing i kind of just said hey i want her to look like this this and this let’s go. that’s why first step of finding styles you like and trying to emulate them is important bc obvs i can’t just say “oh yeah just write it down you’ll visualize it” like the more you practice drawing near a style you like the more it’ll help you build and branch on your own.

finally, tbh it takes a long time and a lot of practice to get to a point where you can say “yep this is my artstyle” and feel happy with it. like i draw a lot and i’m still not really sure what constitutes my own style but like. i can recognize my art. it’s just not where i want it to be yet. your art style will constantly be growing and changing just based on the media and art you consume no different than writing. you’ll notice yourself incorporating the most random shit you didn’t think had an impact on you but did. for instance, i used to have such a shit time drawing noses until i saw (1) artist draw that little line that i do under noses and i just assimilated that into how i draw now lmao.

idk if any of these are PARTICULARLY helpful bc i’m like. not good with skill and terminology terms my brain when i draw is literally “brrrrr” so much subconscious thinking when i draw tbh lol. i can definitely try giving you more pointers if it’d help?? or i can upload some of my drawing videos that my ipad records bc idk for me something that does help is when i watch other people draw i can see How they did something or built it up for the most part 💀

[levmada]

gee. do you have any tips for writing smut for a smut novice?

mm sure! im flattered u asked loll

idk if this is like a universal experience but when i started writing smut (even after like a couple years of Not Writing like i did) i was so embarrassed?? by the words i was putting down?

as a side effect of this sort of shameful feeling i think too many people make smut too 'fluffy' so to speak using vague and unsexy words like 'pearl' 'center' 'length' (to some extent) 'apex' 'release'- which imo.. is as i said is not sexy. like ur writing erotica, so be erotic!!! telling it like it is is better. but even more than that AVOID AT ALL COSTS using 'penis' 'scrotum' 'vagina' like those words belong in a textbook. theyre unsexy (and gross tbh) on PURPOSE and doesnt belong in any smut whatsoever.

but also... big/fancy words ≠ better writing. u end up sounding pretentious if this is done too much.

i feel like this is most important. u dont have to have sex to be good at writing smut (i am asexual LOL). sure it helps but u can look up videos/photos/read other fanfics that are good (that is to say arousing to u) and look closer. what words do they use and how do they describe? what sounds good? and for images, what did that noise sound like? breathy, bitten, sharp? look, and does this person have sweat on their skin? how hard are they blushing? it's the details, and with writing smut, try to imitate ur favorites' style of writing (but obviously never copy).

also reading other fics/consuming not sfw media will make your writing more accurate. sucking on someone's nipples for instance won't immediately make them soaking wet. he's not hard as a rock as soon as his partner gives him bedroom eyes. stuff like that. inaccuracies like those (for me) take me out of the smut the most.

however: the realities of sex are vastly different from fanfic. there are more embarrassing moments. you get a wedgie from lingerie. anal sex requires a ton of prep beforehand (as in. cleaning it out). fiction is fiction (and fanfic is an idealized fiction) so you can take liberties.

along these lines PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE as with all art i guess. that embarrassed feeling will go away i promise, and you will 'get good' at it if you make a consistent effort to make it good. an easier way to put it is u will look back at ur old smut (like i have done) and cringe bc you've gotten better without realizing. it always happens slowly.

there is no perfect way to go about writing smut tho. everyone has their own style. dont be like me and only read works by one specific author and base how u write smut on how they do (even if they're rly good). in general it's good to branch out so u arent limited to a narrow view/style of writing and what's good or not.

what's sexy about smut isn't the sex for the most part. yeah sex is . sexy, but the build up to it makes it so much more satisfying. include kinks u like from time to time. what are the emotions?? that's what makes it both satisfying to write and read imo.

and besides if u go on writing smut just for the literal sex, u get bored and blocked and jaded. (but this may apply more to me?)

don't be like I was and describe every single thing everyone is feeling and thinking and doing. ur doing too much work both for urself and it's unexciting to the reader if ur writing is doing all the work for them. like saying 'he put his hand here which made her blank because blank and so she blank, feeling blank and he blank... and so on'. it's better to write more REACTIONS to something a character does which makes it more vivid to imagine how it feels. like: 'her hand roamed down and pressed between his legs. a sharp gasp. his toes curl'. for example ?

don't use commonly used and 'cliche' i guess phrases. infamously, 'their tongues battled for dominance'. it's a weird image and kind of gross. it's lazy and doesn't make the reader feel as much as they could when phrased more creatively, like, 'she pushed her tongue past his lips, and buried inside. with a grunt, he swings his arm over her shoulders and yanks her closer' for example.

not to say metaphors or just rhetorical ways of phrasing don't belong (i am not the rule maker on smut either), but depending on whether it's quick and rough or passionate+slow+this is the result of build up after 18 chapters - ur smut should be written differently. the latter should have a large focus on how special it is, or how long overdue with lots of emotions. rough and fast has quick, sharp sentences and a fast pace. for example.

and remember... ur writing established characters having sex, so keep showing their personalities while it happens. a character like levi for example isnt automatically reduced to begging and pleading if that makes sense. depending on other details... like is this makeup sex after an argument? how comfortable are they together (which is especially important to take into consideration if it's levi.)? what are their boundaries? is this couple new to smth this risky?

mmm i can't think of anything else. others feel free to add on though. hope that helps / makes sense!