#dont have anything to add but i completely agree

[casey-complains]

Man, I don't even know where to begin... I've been following Sanders Sides for about 5-6 years now, and while I was never truly active in the fandom, I would follow different creators and was in the amino (when that was a relevant thing, eugh). But, Sanders Sides used to be such a big interest of mine, and a really long hyperfix when I first got into it. But now? I just.. don't know if I even want any more content from it. Over 4 years after any main content, with very little update on the finale. I was fine for a while, guessing that Covid interrupted filming when that was in its peak, but apparently, he's still in the writing stage??

Everything that Thomas is putting out related to the Sides now just feels half assed. Hades and the new Asides episode released today was really just the nail in the coffin for me. I didn't even know MRiH was a thing until I checked his channel today.

I'm an artist and a writer. I have stories and characters that come and go. I know what burnout feels like when you've been writing the same characters for such a long time. But please, the least he could do is give the courtesy of actually updating his fans and viewers. Not something vague, an actual update, definite information. I'm just.. so tired of this.

^

[seventh-district]

not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go

(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)

[todayisawthewhxlewxrld]

A TRAGEDY THAT'S BUILT ON DESTINY!

I WOULD CHANGE MOST EVERY SINGLE THING. I WOULD LET YOU KISS ME, KILL ME!

synopsis// multiple different universes, but one thing remains the same: geto loves you in each and every one of them.

pairing// suguru geto x gn!reader

word count// 5.8k

contents// different universes, angst, satisfying angst?, hurt/no comfort but also hurt/comfort at the same time, ooc geto?, character death tehe

notes// inspired by everything everywhere all at once and the song kiss me kill me by mest :3 i wrote this SOOOO long ago but u have no idea how much i adore this oneshot. like i think it might be my fav oneshot ive ever written. it is everything to me!! and i did not do the idea justice but u get the point!!

December 24th 

You assume the fight is over because neither you nor Shoko have gotten any more wounded victims. The two of you glance at each other briefly but don’t bother saying anything. What could be said about a full-blown borderline war schemed by your high school best friend and lover? Nothing could possibly be said, so nothing is. The two of you stand there waiting for anything to happen, whether that’s getting called back to Jujutsu High or being brought another victim, and eventually something does happen, and Shoko gets a call. You can’t read her expression for the whole 20 seconds she’s on the phone before she passes it to you. You furrow your eyebrows in question.

“It’s Gojo,” she says blankly before attempting to hand you the phone again.

You hesitate to answer. “Hello?”

“You should get down here,” he says blankly over the phone.

“What? Why? Is everything okay?”

“Um, yeah, just—you know those back alleys by the school?”

“Uh huh?”

“Meet me there.”

“Gojo, you’re kinda scaring me-“

“Y/N, just come; you’ll thank me—I hope.”

You frown and begrudgingly agree, “Okay, fine, yeah, whatever, I'm on my way.”

“Make it quick, alright? I'm serious,” he adds quickly before hanging up.

As you give Shoko her phone back, you roll your eyes at the fact that he didn't even give you a chance to say okay before hanging up.

“What was that about?” she wonders, slipping her phone back into her pocket.

You sigh. “No idea, but he wants me to go meet up with him for some reason.”

Shoko hums curiously. “You should get going then; must be urgent.”

You nod, “Yeah.”

☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。

It doesn't take you long to get to the school given how fast you were walking since Gojo told you to hurry it up, the tense anticipation aiding in your speed. It does, however, take you a few moments to find Gojo, but once you do, you find that he's not looking at you, but he’s speaking, and it's not to you either; it's to something—or rather someone—he's blocking with his body.

“Gojo?” you ask once you finally reach him.

Gojo turns to face you, a sorrowful smile on his face, before stepping out of the way to reveal who he was speaking to and the whole reason why he called you here in the first place.

When you see Getou on the ground, your heart sinks into your stomach, and your blood runs cold. You look back at Gojo, who merely shrugs.

“You should say your goodbyes; I already did,” Gojo whispers before leaving you and Getou alone.

Getou lets out a hushed laugh. “That’s a little melodramatic of him, don’t you think?”

The hammering of your heart roaring in your ears makes it difficult to hear what he says. You stand there frozen in what you can only describe as horror as you stare down at Getou, who's missing an arm and is only growing more pale by the second from blood loss.

“Do you plan on ignoring me?” he asks softly, as though he’d understand if that really was your plan.

You blink a few times and shake your head, your tears blurring your vision. “I dont-“ 

Getou hums appreciatively and smiles up at you, which makes you completely break down, a sob racking through your body so violently that the only thing you can do is collapse to your knees. Getou winces as he tries to sit up straighter, as if he’s going to catch you or crawl over to you. You sniffle, your sobbing uncontrollable, as you crawl to him, and once there, you let your head fall upon his blood-stained chest. Getou immediately places his only remaining hand on the back of your head, as if holding it to his chest, and gently pats your head.

“Are you an idiot?” you snap.

“Might be.” 

You sob even harder into his chest. “Why would you do this?”

Your question makes his heart race. “I wanted something better for Jujutsu society.”

You shake your head at him disapprovingly. “Why’d you have to go about it this way?”

“I don’t know Y/N," he sighs. "Does it make a difference?”

You scoff, raising your head to glare at him. “Of course it does, you idiot! You left! and had a hit placed on you! Why couldn’t you have just stayed?” You sob, letting your head fall back onto his chest. “Why couldn’t you have wanted me as much as you wanted this? Why couldn’t... Why couldn’t you have wanted me as much as I wanted you?”

“Y/N,” he coos regretfully, as if he doesn’t know what to say, which he doesn’t. He did want you, and he’d even go as far as saying he wanted a better jujutsu society for you so you wouldn’t have to live your days slaving away for the non-sorcerers. “Y/N, look at me.”

You shake your head and screw your eyes shut, not wanting to look at him. You don’t want to see your first and only love withering away right in front of you.

“Y/N, please look at me.”

“I-I can't."

“Y/N, open your eyes.”

The demandingness dripping from his voice has your head shooting up to look at him and your eyes opening wide, but as you open them, you’re not met with an actively dying Getou; you're met with a sunny and flower-filled meadow? You move to wipe your tears, but your face is dry. You blink a few times, trying to take in your new surroundings, given that a moment ago you were just in a dark alley and now you're sitting on a blanket in a field under a glowing sun.

“Y/N?” Someone speaks from beside you.

Your attention is drawn to the person. “Getou?” 

He smiles at you.

“Getou, where are we?” you ask, now starting to slightly panic.

He looks at you in confusion. “We’re on our date?”

Your chest heaves up and down, and you're more confused than ever. “Huh? But- We-“ 

“We what?” he asks, tilting his head to the side.

“We were just behind Jujutsu High; you were missing your arm, and-"

Getou scoots in closer to you and cradles your face in his hands. The feeling of a warm, full-of-life Getou touching you brings tears to your eyes all over again.

“Woah, woah, love, calm down. What are you talking about? Jujutsu High? Me missing an arm?”

“You don’t remember?” You croak out, distraught, and slightly convinced that you’re going crazy.

“Remember what, love?” he asks softly.

You stare at him in disbelief. “The fight—you wanted a better jujutsu society, and you tried? You lost your arm! You were dying; I saw you! I was there with you! You were covered in blood and-“ 

Getou gently wipes your tears away. “Love, that didn’t happen. I’m here, yeah? and I have both my arms, and there was no fight for Jujutsu society? Whatever that means..."

You blink at him, dumbfounded. “What?” 

“It was probably just a bad dream, Y/N.” He smiles at you reassuringly.

“You don’t know about jujutsu society?”

“Am I supposed to?”

You stare at him in awe. What’s happening? How could he not know about jujutsu society when it was the very thing he was fighting for? But then again, how could he not be missing an arm? And how could the two of you not be in a dark alleyway right now? How could any of this be happening? Maybe he’s right; maybe it really was a bad dream. A very vivid, detailed, lucid, and lifelike bad dream.

“I guess not,” you respond with a frown.

Getou wipes away your last few tears and smiles at you. “You’re okay; I’m okay. We’re okay. It was just a bad dream, love.”

“Yeah,” you say haltingly, "yeah, I guess it was..."

“Are you okay now?”

You nod as you take one of his hands off your face and into your own. “Yeah, I think so... Um, where are we, Getou?”

“On our weekly date?” He answers curiously as he removes his other hand from your face.

You look around at your surroundings curiously. “In the middle of a forest?”

“This is your favorite place, Y/N,” he says, quizically.

As you take another glance around, you hum, not necessarily agreeing or disagreeing. “I can see why; it’s beautiful here.”

He raises his free hand and grips your jaw, forcing you to look at him. “Y/N, are you okay? How come you don't remember?”

You look into his eyes, and something doesn't feel right—as if you're not meant to be here—but you digress and shrug anyway. “I don't know...”

He frowns briefly before leaning in and giving you a quick peck on the lips, and you practically melt, having not felt his lips on yours for far too long.

“That's alright. We can still make the most of the rest of our day, right?”

You nod, and he smiles at your response, letting go of your face and hand to open his arms to you, inviting you into his embrace. You return the smile before laying yourself in his arms, trying to ignore the rising feeling that something is wrong, but you can't because the minute your head touches his chest, you're thrown into a moment, a memory, a dream? where you're back in the alley with your head on a bleeding-out Getou, and it's just for a split second, a flash in time, but it's enough to make you go stiff and your breath hitch.

Getou rubs his hand down your back soothingly. “Hey, what's wrong?”

You swallow harshly and try to concentrate on the green scenery in front of you rather than whatever you keep seeing. “Nothing, I'm fine. It's fine.”

Getou places his head on top of yours. “Are you sure?”

You nod. “I am.”

He hums disapprovingly but doesn't press the issue any further; instead, he just runs his hand up and down your spine in an attempt to calm you down, which works as you begin to relax into his embrace and regain control of your breathing.

“What do we usually do here?” you ask, breaking the silence.

He shrugs. “Usually just talk about our days, our future plans, and stuff like that.”

You hum. “Is it nice?”

“Very nice; I like spending our days together.”

“I do too,” you correct yourself, “or I'm sure I did too.”

Getou doesn't say anything; instead, he lays himself down and, since he's holding you, takes you with him. You sigh contentedly and let your eyes flutter close, the sun and his hold keeping you warm. Suddenly, even with your eyes closed, you can tell it's getting brighter outside, and you groan. You’re about to ask what's up with the sun when a shooting pain in your head causes you to wince. Your heartbeat rings in your ears, and you can feel your hands grow clammy.

You feel unstable, as if you're no longer on the ground being held, as if you're floating through time and space, and the uncertainty forces your eyes open, but you're not met with anything—no, that's not right, you're met with everything, glimpses of time that you can barely make out. One moment you see Getou at an alter, and then you see you and Getou nodding to each other in determination, and the next glimpse is of you, Getou, Gojo, and Shoko laughing about something before you’re hit with another shooting pain in your head. Screwing your eyes shut, you hiss in pain, and all too suddenly, you're back on stable ground, no longer floating, and the brightness you could see through closed eyes a moment ago is gone.

You still hesitate to open your eyes, unsure of what you'll see, but when you can just barely make out that you're not where you were before, your eyes shoot open. You're now standing in the doorway of what appears to be the room of two teen girls, and Getou is sitting at a vanity staring at you; his hair and make-up are done, and he's frowning. Despite your confusion about where you are, you can't help but burst out into a fit of laughter.

He sighs and rolls his eyes. “Oh haha, yeah, keep laughing.”

You slap your hand over your mouth in an attempt to stifle your laughter. “What happened?”

He crosses his arms over his chest and looks away, mumbling, “Our daughters thought I would make a very good model, apparently.”

You go to laugh again, but it hits you, and you look at him like he's crazy. “Sorry, daughters?”

He returns the look. “Yes? Our kids?”

You look away, muttering to yourself, “We have kids...”

You didn't mean for him to hear it, but he does anyway and instantly stands up and makes his way toward you. He grabs your shoulders, drawing your attention to him, and when you look at him, he's staring back at you in concern.

“Y/N, are you okay?”

You want to take him seriously, but truthfully, you can't when he’s wearing bright pink lipstick and bright pink eyeshadow. He does look cute, though. You try to bite back a smile.

“I'm sorry, but I can't take you seriously when you look like that.”

Getou sighs. “I know I look amazing. Can you try to ignore my beauty for like five seconds and tell me why you’re acting like you don't remember our kids?”

You frown. What are you supposed to tell him? That you're apparently having nightmares upon nightmares about different lives with him? And now you're not sure what's real and what's not? You can't say that, so instead you shrug and merely mutter, “You do look amazing like that, though.”

His head drops to the side at the same moment that his smile fades. “Y/N.”

“I don't know.”

“You don't know?”

“Some really weird shit is going on, Getou,” you breathe out heavily.

He doesn’t say anything, instead grabbing your hand and leading you to one of your apparent kids' beds, where he sits you down.

“What’s going on?”

“I don't know, and you wouldn't know either so,” you explain vaguely in frustration.

He gives your hand a squeeze. “Maybe I would?”

You shake your head. “I don’t wanna waste time on that; I don't know how long I have here.”

“What?” he asks blankly. “What do you mean you ‘don't know how long you have here’?”

“Getou,” you whine, not wanting to think or talk about it because you wouldn't even know where to start; all you want is to learn about this new nightmare and what it holds.

He relents. “Okay, I won't ask.”

You smile at him and let a moment of silence pass before asking, “What are they like?”

“Huh?”

“Our kids—daughters.”

Getou hums. “They’re great; we raised them well.”

“They are especially great at making you a model, huh?” you snicker. 

He laughs and rolls his eyes. “Oh whatever, you're just jealous they never make you model.”

You shrug. “What are their names?”

“Well, we were gonna keep the names they had when we adopted them, but they ended up not having any names at all, so we settled on Nanako and Mimiko.”

You stare at him in awe. “Did you pick the names out?”

“We both did,” he recalls fondly and vividly, as if it were just yesterday that the two of you were picking out names.

“And we are...?”

He kisses your cheek before answering, “Married—we’re married.”

You hum and raise your left hand, your gaze fixed on your ring finger. “I don't see a ring?”

He hums curiously. “You were wearing it this morning? Maybe you dropped it somewhere?”

You nod. “Yeah.. Maybe..”

Getou doesn’t say anything; he doesn’t know what to say. What could he? His partner of multiple years suddenly has some form of amnesia and can't remember that they have kids, let alone that they’re married to him. You turn to face Getou. He looks like Getou—like the Getou you know, who apparently was merely a nightmare. Besides all the makeup and stuff, he looks like Getou. He says he’s Getou, but something just feels off.

“Are you real?”

He nods. “Very real.”

You look around the room, taking in the messy vanities, the messy beds, and the drawers stuffed with clothes. “Are our kids real?”

“Extremely real.”

You study his face for any hint of uncertainty, and when you find none, you ask, “Am I real?”

He narrows his eyes at you and hums curiously. letting go of your hand only to bring both hands up to your face and start smooshing your face together, pushing and pulling at the flesh on your cheeks.

“Getou,” you mumble.

He hums approvingly and nods, letting his hands fall back to his sides. “Yep, you’re real.”

You smile at his idiotic antics but appreciate them nonetheless. And although you can touch him and feel him, and he is real, as are you and your kids, it still doesn't seem real. And then, all too suddenly, your head starts throbbing again.

“Fuck no, not again,“ you panic.

“Y/N? whats wrong-“

You can't hear what he’s saying anymore; it's like you've gone underwater and he's speaking to you from the surface. Another shooting pain in your head has your eyes screwing shut, and you know you're fucked when all you can hear is your heartbeat ringing in your ears and feel your hands grow clammy all over again. You’re back to feeling unstable, drifting between time and space once more, and just like last time, the uncertainty of the feeling forces your eyes open, and you're faced with everything again—more glimpses in time that you can barely make out.

One moment you think you see yourself back at the beginning on Getou’s cold chest, and then you see yourself and Getou covered in blood, and you're not sure if it's yours or someone else's, and the next glimpse you see is of Getou on your cold chest, like your roles had been reversed, before you’re hit with another shooting pain in your head. Screwing your eyes shut, you wince in pain, and finally you're back on solid ground again, no longer floating, and the brightness you could see through closed eyes a moment ago is gone. This time you don't hesitate to open your eyes, and you find yourself in a cemetery.

You look around curiously, trying to assess your surroundings while simultaneously trying to recover from whatever just happened. But you're starting to realize something now. All of this is real. You laying on Getou’s chest was real; having a picnic with a perfectly fine Getou in a world where curses apparently don't exist was real; having kids and marrying Getou was real; and all of those little bits of time in between each new life were real. All of it was real—is real; all of it happened—is happening; it just didn't happen to you specifically. Not this version of you, at least. You’ve realized that you’re experiencing different universes and living alternate lives of your own. You didn’t think alternate universes existed, but it's not too hard to accept when the world you live in—the world you belong to—is riddled with curses and sorcerers. You are not above believing in alternate dimensions.

Finally over your sudden epiphany, you're able to realize that you weren't immediately met with Getou like you had been the past two times you got transported into another dimension. As you put the pieces together, a grave feeling washes over you—no Getou, and you’re in a cemetery. You swallow harshly.

No, no, no.

You start running around the cemetery, inspecting each and every headstone, and praying to the universe(s) that you aren't about to find one that reads his name.

No, no, no.

You keep running, the cemetery seemingly interminable, until you run up behind someone who looks suspiciously a lot like Getou, and when you hear him murmur under his breath, you sigh heavily in relief that it is him, but why is he here? You tilt your head and try to look around him to read the gravestone.

“What the fuck?” you exclaim, stunned.

Getou spins around faster than you can even blink, and he almost chokes on his spit. “Y/N?” His chest heaves up and down as he shifts his gaze between you and the gravestone. “But-but-how-you’re-“

“Dead apparently,” you say, finishing his sentence as you stare at the gravestone that reads, "HERE LIES L/N Y/N."

He stares at you, completely bewildered, and you can see him trembling. “How—how are you here?”

Will something bad happen if you tell him this isn't your universe and there are actually multiple universes out there? Who knows, but you’re about to find out.

“I'm not, well, I'm not supposed to be.”

He shakes his head and closes his eyes. “I'm just hallucinating; you’re not real.”

His reply breaks your heart. “I am real.”

“You’re not.”

You step forward, taking his hand in yours. “I am.”

He finally opens his eyes back up, and he stares at you through tears, completely amazed that you're here, that you're actually touching him, and that you're actually alive and real.

“I don't—I dont understand—you're dead!” He stammers, yanking his hand from yours, and as he breaks out into full-on sobs at this point, he’s reminding you an awful lot of yourself in your own world.

You nod slowly. “In this universe, it seems so... how?”

“What?” he stutters. “This universe?”

You ignore his question. “How did I die, Getou?”

He shakes his head sternly. “No, I'm not saying anything until you explain what you meant. What if you’re a curse? What if I cursed you, holy fuck? Fuck!”

“Okay, curses still exist in this universe; good to know,” you acknowledge with a nod.

Getou snaps, “What are you talking about!?”

You flinch, which only makes him sob harder.

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap—I'm just so fucking confused; you're supposed to be dead,” he bawls as he falls to his knees.

You take another step closer and kneel down, drawing him into your embrace and letting him sob into your chest for as long as he needs, ignoring the horrible feeling of deja vu crawling all over you like worms.

“Shh, you're okay,” you whisper, soothingly brushing your fingers through his hair.

He finally starts to calm down after a few more minutes of whispering sweet nothings to him, and once he’s no longer sobbing, he pulls away.

“Answer my question, and I'll answer yours,” he says through sniffles.

You nod. 

“What were you talking about, universes? How are you here, Y/N? You’re dead—or you’re supposed to be...”

“Do you believe in alternate or multiple universes?”

He shrugs and wipes away any remaining tears. “I don't know; I never really thought about it.”

You hum and nod. “Right, so, uh, they exist! There are a lot of universes out there, actually." You let out an uneasy laugh.

He stares at you curiously.

“Obviously, I'm not from this universe.”

He continues staring at you.

“Oh, cmon, curses exist, but you draw the line at alternate dimensions?”

Getou frowns and says, “I guess you’re right... So you’re from a ‘different dimension’?”

You point a finger at him, narrowing your eyes. “Don't air-quote me like you don't believe me; how else would I be here right now if I were supposedly dead?”

“I don't know; that's what I'm trying to figure out!” he exclaims, gesticulating wildly.

“Can you just humor me and hear me out?”

He takes a deep breath before ultimately agreeing, “Okay, fine.”

You clasp your hands together. “Okay, um, in my universe, you’re dead.”

“What?!”

You shake your hands and your head. “Ok, no wait! You’re not dead yet, but, uh, you were like on the verge of death when I got put into another universe.”

He looks at you in disbelief. “And you just left me?!”

“It wasn't on purpose! Why would I want to leave you when you’re dying? I don't know how I ended up here! or in the last two other universes!”

He stops you and asks, "Okay, okay, wait—how am I dying?”

You look away awkwardly. “You wanted to change jujutsu society in… a not-so-friendly way... And, um, you were willing to die for your cause.”

“I'm dying the same way you did?”

You return your attention to him. “What?”

Getou nods. “Yeah.”

You shake your head. “What do you mean you're dying the same way I did?”

“In this universe, you’re the one who wanted to change jujutsu society in a... not-so-friendly way,” he explains sheepishly.

“Holy shit,” you mutter to yourself.

He nods again. “So, in yours, our roles are reversed.”

“And I'm dead already? I didn't even last as long as you?”

“Well, yeah, I guess," he shrugs, "but it worked; there hasn't been a curse, at least not a special-grade one, since you died." His eyes gleam as he looks up at you. “Did I succeed?”

You bite the inside of your cheek anxiously and shake your head.

“I'm dying for nothing, then?”

You look away and mumble, “My Getou is okay with it; he knew he might fail—he knew Gojo was the only one who could probably change anything—but he still wanted to try.”

“Okay, well, this—” he gestures to himself, “Getou isn't okay with it.”

You roll your eyes. “Yes, well, you’re also still alive, so it doesn't really affect you that much, now does it?”

“Still! You just told me one version of myself is dead—or dying—and I'm supposed to be chill with that?”

You stare at him blankly. “Your version of me is dead.”

Getou grows quiet, and you can almost physically see how his demeanor wilts away.

“Sorry.”

“It's fine,” he says, shaking his head. “You said you were in two other universes before this one, right?”

You nod. 

“What were they like?”

You smile as you think back on the previous universes: “We were both alive and happy, and we were together in them.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah... and curses didn't exist either.”

“Huh,” he says ambivalently, like he's not sure whether to be happy for his other selves or be bitter that that isn't him. “Tell me more?”

“In the first one, we were actually on a date in some forest that I apparently loved.”

He stares at you wide-eyed, completely engrossed in your retellings.

“In the second one, we were married.”

A smile tugs at his lips. “Really?”

You nod. “We even adopted two daughters.”

“What were they like?” he wonders, enamored by some alternate universe of you two.

“I'm not sure; I didn't get to meet them,” you confess meekly. “But I know their names were Nanako and Mimiko, and they loved doing your hair and makeup. You adored them, and I'm sure I adored them too.”

He nods wistfully. “In your universe, were... were we together?”

“For a bit.” You look away sadly. “We broke up when you, uh, went off and wanted to-“

“Change jujutsu society,” he chimes in.

“Yeah... How'd you-“

“Same thing here, just roles reversed, remember?” He laughs sadly.

You nod. “Did you still love me? even after I'd gone off and did what I did?”

“I did. I do,” he quickly corrects himself. “Did you?”

“I still do.”

The two of you sit looking away from each other in glum silence. It's hard to stay upbeat about your happy alternate selves when your actual selves are currently dying or dead.

“Kinda feels like we got the short end of the stick, don't you think?” Getou mumbles softly.

“Huh?”

“Well, I mean, there are no curses in those universes, and we’re both alive and happy, but in ours we’re dead?” he elaborates.  

You nod reluctantly. “Well yeah, but I don't know; I guess it's kinda nice to know that it worked out in at least one universe.”

“Don't you wish it worked out in ours?”

“Of course I do, Getou; what kind of question is that?" you scoff. "You think I want to go back to my universe just to watch you die?”

“Well,” Getou pauses, turning to face you, “what if you don't go back?”

Your gaze zeroes in on his. “What?”

“What if you stay?…”

You abruptly stand up and chuckle uncomfortably. “Getou-“ your sentence is cut short by an echo of your name that only you seem to hear because you're the only one gazing in the general direction it seemed like it came from.

Getou joins you on your feet and follows your stare, but when he realizes you aren't staring at anything, he returns his sight to you.

“Think about it.”

His voice snaps you out of your trance, and you look back at him with a small frown.

“I'm practically dead in your universe, and you're dead in mine, but we’re together right now!" he says, taking your hand in his. "Maybe the universe put you into mine for a reason— so we don't have to go back to one where we’re not together…”

You struggle to swallow; your mouth suddenly goes dry as Getou stares at you in full, unadulterated hope, and you can't bring yourself to say anything to crush that.

“Y/N, wouldn't that be nice?”

You nod and murmur, “It would.”

“Then?” he asks expectantly.

Someone calling out your name echoes in your head again, and you quickly look down the street to now see a small, bright light in the distance, and you know your time here is soon coming to an end.

“I... I can't stay, Getou.”

His voice cracks as he panickedly asks, “Why?”

"Because,” you explain with a shake of your head, “I'm not your Y/N, and you're not my Getou.”

“I could be,” he says confidently, or he would have if it weren't for the way his voice trembled.

Your vision goes blurry from the tears welling up in your eyes as you shake your head.

“We could try!”

You sniffle and reiterate, “I can't stay.”

“Please,” he begs through his sobs. “Please, we can make it work.”

You look away from him, trying to fight back your tears, but it's futile; you’re a complete mess, just like he is now. “No.”

His hands shake as he grips your face and forces you to look at him. “Y/N, please, I'm begging you.”

“I cant.”

“Don't leave me again.”

The same voice calling out your name echoes in your head again, this time louder, and the bright light is getting bigger and closer.

“I don't want to go back to a universe where you’re just gonna leave me either, but,” you sob, weakly clinging onto the wrists of his hands that are still on your face.

“So stay.”

You shake your head and take his hands off your face. “I won't.”

Getou’s head goes limp and drops as sobs shake his entire body, and you can't help but think that's exactly how you'll look when you return to your universe and have to deal with the death of your Getou.

“Please,” he pleads.

You're both in tears as you lift his head up by his chin to look at you. The voice calling your name echoes even louder, and the bright light is getting closer by the second.

“You’re not my Getou, and I'm not your Y/N.”

He nods reluctantly. “I know, but...“

The bright light is only a few feet away at this point, and the voice echoing in your head is so loud that it's giving you a migraine—you know this is your last few minutes, if that, in this universe, so you lean in and take Getou’s lips into yours—a goodbye kiss for a Getou who you'll never see again, a goodbye kiss for a Getou who desperately needs one when he never got one from his y/n. You pull away and cradle his cheek gently.

“I have to go say goodbye to my Getou now; I think he’s waiting for me.”

He nods. “If he’s anything like me, he’ll want a goodbye kiss too.”

A faint smile tugs at your lips. “I know.”

Getou doesn't get the chance to respond when you're suddenly gone—completely vanished right before his eyes.

You, on the other hand, are back again, feeling unstable as you float through time and space, and again, the uncertainity of the feeling forces your eyes open, but this time you're met with only one thing—the image of you on your Getou’s chest. With every passing second, it grows closer, as does his voice calling out for you, and before you know it, you're back in your body, looking up at him with a gasp.

“Y/N?” he asks weakly.

You're still in tears from the previous universe as you now pull him into your embrace.

He winces, and you quickly let go of him. “Sorry.”

He smiles at you with blood in his mouth and teeth. “It's okay.”

You have to force yourself to look away to try and choke back a sob, but Getou notices immediately and slowly lifts up his remaining hand to cradle your cheek.

“It’s okay, Y/N.”

You nod. “I know.”

“You’ll be okay.”

“I know,” you croak out.

“Kiss me?” He asks out of breath, knowing he doesn't have much longer.

You don't hesitate to lean in and kiss him, ignoring how it tastes like blood and tears as well as how cold his lips feel. You ignore it because he's kissing you back. He’s kissing you with all the power his frail body can muster, and it makes up for all the years, months, weeks, days, minutes, and seconds that your lips haven’t touched. But just as quickly as he kisses you, he stops, but it's gradual; he gradually stops kissing, moving, and breathing. It doesn't take long for it to get to that point, and even when he's not kissing back, you still kiss him with some fairy-tale hope that it will bring him back, that your kiss will somehow save him, like he's Snow White and you're Prince Charming. But it doesn't.

It doesnt.

You pull away to look at Getou, whose eyes are glazed over but not closed. You sob as you reach up to close his eyes, only to let your head fall against his chest. He’s so cold. Too cold. That's why you have to stay there on top of him to keep him warm. You'll stay there all night if you have to. But you don't even get the chance to stay there for longer than a few minutes when someone suddenly pulls you off of him, and you look over your shoulder to see Gojo, who's crying as well.

“He’s gone, Y/N.”

"I know," you sniffle, “I know.”

Gojo helps you up to your feet, his hand on your waist to keep you steady as he leads you away from Getou’s body. The further you get from it, the harder you cry.

But it's okay. It’ll be okay because, even though you lost Getou in this universe, you’ll eventually be able to come to peace with it knowing that in a hundred, a thousand, and even a million other universes, you and Getou are living happily ever after.

©TODAYISAWTHEWHXLEWXRLD

[lovelookspretty]

not so bad

college!rafe cameron x reader au

— in which rafe and y/n absolutely despise each other in public but crush in secret. rafe is failing his humanities class & is assigned y/n as his tutor . . . maybe all it took for this relationship to form was just a bit of forced proximity and some time.

warning(s): raging hardcore sex. jk guys ! sex yes. 18+ mdni ! dont read the end if u arent comfortable. also some assault ngl from creepy guy

authors note: erm i needed conflict but the whole light stalker situation feels kind of corny so pls do not pay attention to that. also yes lowkey i got uncreative with the dialogue when y/n was giving rafe head ( that yes i just took it out completely ) SUE ME IM TIRED 😭

one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine | ten

the days go by until you’ve reached saturday. you’ve been nothing but excited for what rafe has in store for the two of you. it’s been racking on your mind whether you and rafe are dating or not—is this saturday a friend date? or a date for . . . more?

you try to keep your composure when you’re around rafe or lorenzo. aria and elara are the only ones you’ve expressed your feelings to about the weekend. they both agree it’s a date date but suggest not to overthink it.

you know they’re right but for some reason, the thought of an official date feels so overwhelming.

in the library, you stand in an aisle of books while trying to find one in particular for one of your professors. it’s a recommendation, really, and he suggested yesterday that you bring him a copy from anywhere. you plan on giving it to him before you get ready for the date.

a pair of hands graze the side of your arms that send shivers. you don’t have to look at the person to know that it’s rafe. his scent is all you need.

“hey,” he whispers, appearing by your left side to take a look at the book in your hands. “reading something new?”

you chuckle but shake your head. “i wish. i’d give anything to read this for the first time,” you mutter under your breath as you stare down at the novel. when you look up at him, you add on, “just for my professor.”

you hand it to him because you can tell he wants a look closer. he takes it into his own hands, reading the title aloud, “the time traveler’s wife? what’s it about?”

you glance up at rafe, knowing he might not be up for a long explanation. with a small smile, you keep it brief, “it’s about this guy who time travels and his wife who has to deal with it. it’s really messy, but it’s just about love finding its way back, no matter what.” you shrug lightly, “kinda beautiful actually. one of my favorites.”

rafe raises his eyebrows as he hands the book back to you. “sounds interesting,” he comments. “aria’s still fine with me stealing you for a night right?”

you almost snort laughing. he and aria have this joke where rafe has to ask aria for permission to take you out, like you’re aria’s child. aria gives rafe things like pretend curfews, rules, etc.

“yeah she’s still fine with it,” you tell him. “i think she found her own date for tonight or tomorrow night. i forgot.”

rafe looks surprised. “aria? a date?”

“i know,” you say, and you walk him over to the stairs that leas down to the first floor of the library. “she’s mentioned him here and there for the past week—i don’t know much on the guy. just that he goes here and they met in english.”

rafe connects the dots that aria and the boy met in english, but that they also share an english class. it’s a little slow process but he gets it.

“wait, he’s in our english class?”

“yeah,” you confirm with a laugh. “which still, doesn’t give us much about who it is but he seems nice enough if aria’s going on a date with him.”

when you reach the bottom of the stairs, rafe turns to you, “well i’m gonna go pick enzo up from practice ‘cause he wants to go shopping real quick before he leaves for his lacrosse thing. you’ll be ready by six right?”

“obviously,” you mumble, and rafe chuckles softly, leaning in to press a kiss to your head. he ruffles your hair. “wait, why are you in the library then?”

he shrugs, beginning to walk away. “knew you’d be here.”

his words pierce through your mind. it makes you smile. you look down at your book with a hopeful glint in your eyes before heading to the front desk.

you really had no idea how to dress because rafe refused to tell you where you two were going on a date for days. fortunately before you got ready, you were complaining to rafe that you can’t dress for a place you don’t know about. you managed to get it out of him eventually.

‘ gee okay we’re going to a restaurant. it’s fancy but don’t be nervous. just be pretty ’

a fancy restaurant; so this really is a date date. this could go either really bad or really good depending on the food in there, but thankfully rafe also admitted what kind of restaurant it is.

you’re nervous no matter what rafe tells you to be, given your experience in this kind of environment. you’ve been to some around kildare, but each time just feels different. and this will be your first with rafe. you’re bound to feel tense.

he looks to you once you’re parked in front of the restaurant. “you ready to go?” he asks.

you nod, “ready to eat and drain your wallet.”

he shakes his head with a chuckle, and you’re glad he understands your humor. “you’re stupid,” he says as he gets out of the car, then jogs over to your side to open up your door. “don’t say a thing.”

“you’re such a gentleman,” you comment anyway, and you step out of the car while taking your hand into his. he helps you out before he shuts the door and locks the car, stuffing his keys in his pocket.

he keeps a tight grip on your hand but he squeezes it once. “c’mon,” he murmurs, leading you out of the parking lot.

he leads you into the restaurant where you wait for him to settle all the details about the reservation. you’re led to a table on the second floor. it’s right above the bar on the first floor but it’s right against the railing so you’re able to peek and see who comes in or out, and you especially note that you’re able to see when someone comes up or down the staircase.

you settle in your seats and are given water and their menu to start with, but you and rafe are ready to order your drinks at the very least.

“i’ll give you a few minutes to look over the menu. if you have any questions or need recommendations, feel free to ask,” the woman says with a kind smile before she leaves to come fetch your drinks.

it’s left to you and rafe at the table. you can tell that even he’s a little anxious but he’s putting it aside well.

“i haven’t been to a restaurant in so long,” you try to ease both of yourselves as you look around at all of the people who are just settling in, leaving, or staying for their next meal. “where did you find out about this one?”

“just around the corner from the new café, i’m surprised you didn’t notice,” he says, in which you scrunch your nose at. you honestly have no sense of surroundings that you didn’t catch it before.

“i’m glad you asked me to come,” you tell him after a few moments, and rafe widely grins at you as he nods.

“c’mere,” he whispers as he reaches his hand out on top of the table. you can’t help the smile on your face when you take your hand into his, though your gaze trails up briefly to who walked up the stairs and appeared behind rafe.

“—y/n?”

it takes you a moment but your eyes widen when you realize who’s standing there beside their own date—“aria?” you say back.

rafe furrows his eyebrows in confusion at you, turning around in his seat to see if aria really is there too. he’s dumbfounded to find that you aren’t kidding.

aria can read the expression on your face and her own falls, realizing the mistake she’s made. she’s interrupting you two.

aria is silent as she and her date get led to a table beside you, as per aria’s request so it’s easier to talk to you. when they’re seated, aria holds her purse in her lap and leans toward you.

“i didn’t know you were coming here for your date!” aria whispers, and you can tell she’s in a panic, “i’m so sorry!”

you look to rafe and stare at him with a look that can only tell him that you know this is a bad thing. really? there goes your alone time.

“we can make this a double-date!” her date suggests. aria looks to him, then at rafe with an unapologetic expression. “i’m reggie!”

“reggie—?” you question as you look to aria for help.

“you didn’t tell me your roommate was here, ari,” reggie says to her as he unfolds the napkin and places it on his lap happily.

aria is clearly bothered by the so that as she slowly unfolds her own napkin. “yeah ‘cause i didn’t know, if it wasn’t already obvious enough,” she grits through her teeth. she leans forward to speak to reggie directly, “maybe we go look for another restaurant?”

reggie shakes his head, “but we’ve already made our reservation here and we’re seated! what’s the harm?” he looks to you and rafe. “you guys wouldn’t mind a double, would you now?”

rafe’s gaze is already on you when you face him. you know that this reggie guy is off to a bad start so far, and sitting beside them of all people is going to be difficult. respectfully, you guys are supposed to be having this night together, not with them.

“guess not,” rafe says with a smile, though you can tell he’s upset. the server comes back with your drinks and you sit quietly while she places them in front of you both. “thank you.”

“thanks,” you mutter, then take the glass of water and begin downing it gulp by gulp. rafe eyes you carefully when he’s going for just a sip of his water. even aria, reggie, and the server are watching too.

you set your glass down and press a hand to your stomach, feeling off about this whole thing. you should’ve talked with aria earlier to discuss where each date is going to take place so stuff like this can be avoided.

regardless, you and rafe order and decide to converse with aria and reggie while you’re there anyway. it’s agreeable that it’s strange to be there at the same time on the same day at the same place, but there was a light joke thrown in that suggests they all become friends from then on.

“hey, you’re roommates with lorenzo agosta, right?” reggie asks rafe. the blond boy only gives a silent nod in response. “i’ve been to some of his games, he’s pretty good! his girlfriend is that little uh . . . elena?”

“elara,” rafe says as he looks over the railing to see if their waitress has come to bring their food to them yet. “they’re not really boyfriend and girlfriend.”

“oh,” reggie notes with a nod. “so that was some debate between you two.”

you feel exhausted just hearing him. he yaps so much—does he like the sound of his own voice this bad or something?

but you remember what he’s talking about. right; he’s in your class.

“yeah,” you reply dryly. “all in good fun.”

“never thought i’d see this pairing outside of that class after that,” he says, and he’s referring to you and rafe. “let alone on a date.”

aria gulps down her drink as she raises her hand, “check!”

reggie looks at her with his mouth gaped open, “already—?”

“—yep!”

you eat your food in silence as reggie goes on about school. you and rafe are sharing glances with each other constantly, seeming unable to find a moment together that it’s actually irritating.

aria seems tired of her date too. whether or not she’s into the fact that he’s . . . very social, she must think that the time to be social isn’t for a time like this. you can tell she’s embarrassed as she picks at her food.

at some point, aria actually stands up and clears her throat, announcing, “i need to go find a restroom, i’m not feeling too hot.”

she walks over to the hallway just a few tables down, and she disappears without a word.

rafe wipes his mouth with his napkin and stands up, alerting the two of you, “me too. i’m gonna get some air.”

“in a bathroom?” you ask him.

“in a bathroom,” he confirms, leaving his seat to use the men’s restroom. you watch the path he takes until you can’t see him anymore. guess they really can’t take it.

it’s silence amongst you and reggie when you look back at him. he’s seemed to quiet down, and his energy is depleted after watching them excuse themselves. even his own date.

you collect a piece of your food on your fork and slowly lean forward to bring it into your mouth, then chew, contemplating if going in the restroom next will be the best choice, even if it means hurting reggie.

suddenly he twitches, turning to you to reach over to your hand, which you feel like yanking away immediately, but you just stare at him in bewilderment.

“hey i’m sorry if i’ve been talking everyone’s ear off.” his tone is different, it’s serious, and his expression is too. “i didn’t realize how badly i could be bothering you and rafe since this is your date after all.”

you blink twice. acknowledgement? coming from him? this is the first. you try to continue staying unbothered as you reach for your drink.

“not the best at making friends,” he says with a slight chuckle. “and you just make me nervous i guess.”

you stop the flow of the drink as you stare forward. you gulp down what’s remaining in your mouth before setting the glass down, looking at him.

“nervous?” you ask him.

“you’re just pretty,” he says, and you slowly pull your hand away from him. “i’ve seen you in our english class.”

you feel off about this whole thing. “okay,” you mutter under your breath, but he grabs a handful of the table cloth.

you’re stunned at the aggression within him, and your hand instinctively reaches up to grab the table cloth to pull it down as much as you can so he doesn’t damage the restaurants property.

when he sees your hand within view again, he takes it instead, with force, “you can’t be sitting here with a guy like rafe cameron—i mean, what’s the appeal?” he snorts, “he doesn’t know how gifted you are. you’re at the top of all our classes.”

our classes?

“he can’t handle someone like you, he can’t satisfy you.”

you lean forward, staring at him directly. “get. the fuck. off of me,” you say through your teeth, but he keeps a firm grip.

“i’ve had my eye on you since the first day of school. he doesn’t know anything about you.”

“and you do?” you ask, and knowing that he said that must mean he knows a good deal about you, at least. it’s fucking creepy. who is this guy? “let go of me,” you tell him.

suddenly it’s so fast that you don’t see it coming.

rafe dashes across the floor and finds you, but rips reggie’s hand away from your wrist in one action. reggie seems to be raising his hands in surrender when he knows he’s caught, but rafe keeps two handfuls of reggie’s collar.

he’s heated, and you look to the side to find that aria is standing at the end of the hallway, devastated at the turnout of the two dates.

she realizes she should do something so she finds you quickly, and you get out of your chair to hold her hands. she checks your wrists for any marks.

“did he hurt you?” aria keeps asking in a panic, and you just watch as rafe handles reggie.

“i just held her wrist man, i just held her—” reggie is trying to say before rafe throws him to the ground.

he turns to you and aria, reaching his hand out.

you stare at his hand, then back at him, then take it. aria is connected with your other hand as rafe leads the two of you all the way down the stairs, then to the front of the restaurant.

“go outside, alright? i’m gonna pay the check,” rafe says in a hurry, and he reaches deep in his pockets for his keys, fumbling with them as he passes them to you. “go in the car already, okay? i’ll meet you there. aria, let reggie pay your check. just stay in the car.”

“okay,” you mumble as rafe leans in to press a kiss to your head before he leaves to call a server over, so you take aria’s hand and rush to where you remember rafe’s car is.

aria is in a fit, crying as you and her run across the seat, “i’m so sorry y/n! i didn’t think he was like that!”

“it’s fine aria, just c’mon,” you tell her as you open the door of the truck, scooting inside and urging her to come in with you in the backseat. “up, up, up.”

she has to hold onto the car door and the seat, lifting herself up and into the spot next to you. she shuts the door behind her.

you refrain from crying when aria begins to face her mistakes from that night. but you can’t blame her for choosing the wrong guy; it’s not like she knew before today that he is the way he is.

rafe soon joins you in the car and doesn’t question why you’re in the backseat with aria. he’s quick to start the car and go back home.

you stare at aria sound asleep in someone’s bed. it took a bit to get there, but all her crying stopped after the constant reassurance for half an hour. guess sleep got to her fast.

your arms are crossed but you rub the side of your arm as you look around the dorm.

“she’ll be safe,” a girl says from behind you. you turn around, finding one of aria’s friends there. you’re grateful to have already met aria’s other friends earlier in the year so you can have her fall asleep in her dorm room tonight. “i promise.”

“thanks for this, i really do appreciate it,” you tell her. “tell her to text me when she wakes up?”

“of course, goodnight,” she says, and you return it, slowly making your way out of the dorm so you can let her sleep too. you blow off some steam from this past night, and you begin walking to your dorm.

the memories replay in your head again and again. ‘ i’ve seen you in our english class . . . ’

where else have you seen me?

“hey,” a voice calls to you from across the hall. you’re startled by it ripping you away from your thoughts, but you look up to find rafe standing in his doorframe. you walk over to him immediately, clinging to him like a magnet once you’ve touched his skin.

you wrap your arms around his torso and press your ear to his chest, so he frowns, his arms coming around to embrace you.

“stay the night in my room,” rafe whispers, his hand coming up to rub his thumb against the top of your head. “enzo’s not in there tonight. he’s away for a tournament.”

you don’t even need to think about what’s best for you. you know what is.

“okay,” you say, because it’s him.

“do you wanna talk about it?” he asks you as he climbs onto his bed with you. you’re sitting up with your legs crossed, kind of just staring out.

“i don’t know,” you say, and he gets underneath the blanket. “no.”

he only sighs as he grabs an end of the blanket and pulls it over you at the very least. he lays his head down on his pillow and keeps his arm wrapped around your waist for comfort.

he closes his eyes. “do you want me to turn off the light?” he questions, referring to his lamp that he’s keeping on since you’re still awake. he can’t tell when you’ll lay down to fall asleep either.

“does it bother you if it’s on?”

he shrugs, “not if you want it on.”

you think about it for a moment, grateful that he’ll fall asleep with his light on if it helps you. “i can turn it off,” you volunteer, and he adjusts his head on his pillow as you reach over to his nightstand. “you have your nightlight anyway.”

you’re referring to the plug-in in the wall across the room. you don’t know whether it’s rafes or lorenzos, but it’s amusing to know that one of them need it to say the least.

“stop,” he whispers. “goodnight.”

it brings a smile on your face as you turn off the lamp and get under the sheets. you can’t see much, but you can make out some things with the nightlight on behind you.

you face rafe and lay your head on the pillow carefully, though you can’t sleep yet. you’re just watching him doze off on his own.

“goodnight,” you whisper back.

you close your eyes and try to keep tonight out of your thoughts—at least the positive bits. rafe surprising you at the library just because he knew you would be there, his constant load of messages of him expressing how excited he was for the date, the tugging at him so he’d admit where you two were going, even when rafe was handling reggie for you.

reggie. his name and face are burned in your mind.

you don’t feel yourself fall asleep until you’re mid-dream. the events of the night replay twice for you, but this time, rafe isn’t here to save you.

reggie’s reaching for your hand, gripping it, pulling it. you hear his laughter like an echo. he’s grinning at you, but there’s something uncanny about him this time. the way he’s looking at you.

you receive the stalker feeling from reggie, it is loud and clear. he’s been watching you since the first day of school and you didn’t even know it—what times has he been around to see you without you noticing?

your eyes snap open and you realize you’ve been crying as you sleep. you whine softly as you reach up to touch your cheek. your fingers get wet immediately, and you blink out the tears that have been building up most recently.

rafe feels your movement while he’s half-asleep, but he wakes himself up enough to open his eyes and breathe in a great deal of air as he checks up on you.

his hand on your arm becomes more focused, and you can tell he’s awake.

“are you okay?” he asks you, not thinking much of it until he reaches up to touch your face, and he instantly reacts to the tears streaming down your face. “y/n?” he reaches up and over you to turn his lamp on. when he looks down at you, he sees the state you’re in.

you don’t even mean to be crying but now that it’s here, it’s like you just can’t make it stop. you choke out a few sobs when there’s no point in hiding it anymore. “i had a nightmare,” you manage to get out in between.

rafe’s heart clenches at the sound of you, and he pulls you closer to him, wanting to offer whatever comfort he can. “c’mere,” he says quietly, “it’s okay, i’m here. and i’m not going anywhere. you’re safe with me.”

his words only make you cry harder, grateful that he’s willing to open his arms willingly for you. “it was reggie,” you tell him about your nightmare. “we were back the restaurant and he was trying to grab me again but it was so . . . aggressive and scary and . . .”

rafe listens to your words. he remembers the way reggie was with you tonight. rafe pulls you tighter against his chest, his hand rubbing soothing circles on your back. “hey, it’s okay.”

you want to just go to sleep peacefully, to forget about the guy, but your mind won’t allow it. you assume it’s because you didn’t properly process any of it before. you were so keen on making sure aria was okay that you set your own feelings aside.

“i just wanna sleep,” you mumble, wiping your eyes with your wrist.

he wants nothing more than to take away all your pain and worries. he looks at you, his eyes soft, and gently tilts your chin up to look at him. “you can sleep,” he says, “i’ll be here for you y/n. always.”

you look up at rafe and stare into his eyes, feeling his sense of care. all you want is him, to take your mind off of it. it’s a different method than usual to distract you, but it’s also used as a way to tell him thank you.

you lean in to press your lips against his.

rafe's heart flutters as he closes hie eyes, his hand reaching out to gently cup the side of your face. he deepens the kiss, running his tongue along your bottom lip before pulling back.

his breath is fanning over your lips as he looks down at you. he brushes a strand of hair behind your ear, his fingers tracing the shape of your face. “you know, i’ve been thinking,” he begins, his voice barely above a whisper.

“maybe we should just . . . forget about everything else for tonight. just you and me, okay?” he says, his eyes searching yours for understanding and agreement.

at his words, you want nothing more than him right now. you lean in for another kiss but this time, it’s hungrier. there’s more desire.

he catches your lips on his and his hand coming up to cradle the back of your head as he rolls onto his back, pulling you on top of him.

you sit up briefly to pull your shirt over your head, then lean back down to connect your lips with his again, your legs tangled with his. he kisses you softly, sweetly, his hands roaming over your back and sides.

rafe pulls back slightly, his lips still brushing against yours as he whispers, “i want you so bad, but only if you’re sure. i don’t want to rush anything.”

“i’m sure,” you promise him. “i need to get my mind off of this.”

with a nod from you, rafe moves his hands to your hips, helping you move to straddle him as he shifts so that he’s leaning back against the headboard. he leans in to kiss you again, his hands moving to your breasts, his thumbs brushing over your nipples.

“fuck,” you hiss at the contact.

“god, you’re so beautiful,” rafe breathes, breaking the kiss to bury his face in your chest. he takes one of your nipples into his mouth, his hands squeezing and massaging the other breast. he sucks hard, his teeth grazing against the sensitive peak. you lean your head back on your shoulders.

rafe releases your nipple with a pop, his eyes locked on yours as he moves to the other breast, giving it the same treatment. he looks up at you, his face flushed, his lips swollen from kissing you. “tell me what you need,” he whispers, his breath hot against your skin.

your hands come up to cup his face, and your thumb traces his lips as you kiss him again, biting down on his lip softly, then pulling away. “i need you rafe,” you tell him.

“you have me,” he whispers.

you lift your hips up briefly so he’s able to pull his sweats and his boxers off together, and he kicks them off to the edge of the bed. you lower yourself down on his cock without putting it in yet, dragging your clothed cunt back and forth against him. all that’s separating you two is your underwear.

“fuck,” he groans, leaning back against the headboard again, his eyes fluttering shut at the feeling of your wetness through the thin fabric of your underwear. he can feel himself already dripping with pre-cum, and you haven’t even fully touched him yet.

“please,” you whisper against his lips like you’re begging for him to be inside of you already. you’re rocking your hips back and forth against the underside of his cock. you’re ready for him.

“you’re such a fucking tease,” rafe groans, reaching down to pull your panties to the side, “fuck, you’re wet too," he adds as he rubs the head of his cock against your entrance, teasing you back.

he finally relents, pushing inside of you slowly, watching as your eyes flutter shut and your mouth drops open in pleasure. “you feel so good,” he says.

"you’re so tight, mmhf, and wet—god, it’s like you were made for me,” he grunts, picking up a steady rhythm, sliding his cock in and out of your wet cunt while you moan.

he flips the two of you so you’re on your back with him hovering on top of you. he easily lifts your legs and lays them over his shoulders, making you gasp at the new sensation as he pushes inside of you deeper. “is this how you want it?”

you’re a moaning mess but you bite down on your lip to keep them all from coming out. “just like that rafe, please,” you whimper, savoring the feeling of his cock repeatedly pushing in and out of you at a steady pace.

“fuck, look at you,” he groans, his hands gripping your thighs tightly as he pounds into you, “so pretty and fucked out, just lying there and taking it.” he leans forward, burying his face in your neck as he fucks you harder.

you cry out at the new pace, and you wrap your arm around his neck to pull him closer.

his teeth sink into your neck as he fucks you even harder, the headboard slamming against the wall with each thrust. “you're mine, all mine, and i’m gonna fucking ruin you for anyone else.”

you feel yourself about to cum within the next minute, and you’re clinging to the feeling with everything you have. it feels too good to lose grip on.

rafe takes the opportunity to pull out before you do, and he lowers himself down to be eye-level with your pussy. he dives right in, his lips around your clit as his fingers toy at your entrance before slipping in. he wants you to cum from his mouth.

your mouth gapes open at the feeling of his long fingers being able to slide into your pussy with ease.

he smirks up at you, two fingers curled to hit that right spot inside of you as his tongue works your clit, determined to make you cum harder than ever before.

he sucks harder on your clit, his fingers thrusting into you even faster until you finally release.

he moans as he tastes you, fingers still pumping into you softly as you ride out the aftershocks, his tongue easing the intensity. “such a good girl for me,” he praises.

he keeps his fingers inside you, holding you through the aftershocks, his thumb pressing against your clit to keep the pleasure going as he looks up at you with a satisfied smile, “let’s get you cleaned up so you can go to sleep y/n.”

you realize he’s only made you cum, but not him. “wait, what? already? what about you?”

he shakes his head as he gets off of the bed. “it’s not about me angel,” he tells you. “plus, you look fucked out and satisfied. that sight is more than enough for me.”

before he goes to grab some tissues you assume, you reach for him and grab his wrist to stop him. he looks down at you, in which you tell him, “but i want to.”

he pauses and looks at you, a look of surprise flicking across his face as he looks down at you, probably not expecting you offering him a blowjob just to make him cum. then again, after the orgasm he just gave you, perhaps he shouldn't be so surprised.

“please.” you tug on his arm to get him to come back to bed with you. “lay down,” you murmur.

he smiles at you, a little bit amused before nodding and pulling his wrist out of your grip. he crawls back onto the bed, lying down so that his head is on the pillow while looking at you expectantly.

you watch him move, your heart racing in a mix of arousal and excitement. he can see the flush spreading on your cheeks as you inch closer to him. he could only smile at you, realizing that despite your bold act earlier, it’s still taking its toll on your nerves.

you take a look at his cock in front of you. it’s big, and it’s pulsating for you. you slowly move forward and press your lips to the tip first. he sucks in a breath. he could feel you moving forward slowly, taking him into your mouth inch by inch and it’s making his head spin.

you try not to gag at the feeling of him filling your mouth. you wrap your hand around his base and pump him as you suck. using your tongue, you swirl it around his tip.

after a bit, your mouth quickly leaves his cock and sucks at the tip of his ballsack instead. you suck on them one by one.

he moans at the sensation, his hand reaching down between his legs to tangle into your hair. he whispers his approval, letting you continue with what you’re doing. his brain overloaded with pleasure it’s hard to form any words or even sentences. he’s completely at your mercy.

you take that as approval to continue and spend a minute or two lavishing attention on his balls—licking, sucking, and worshipping them. then you go back to his cock, kissing your way back up before taking him back into your mouth, faster and deeper now.

he lets out a string of incoherent words and sounds as you do. his fingers tighten in your hair as he struggles to keep himself from thrusting forward and choking you. he’s so close already, and you’re not even halfway through your technique.

the vibrations from your humming send him over the edge. he starts thrusting forward, fucking your mouth with no regard for your comfort or safety. he’s too far gone, lost in the pleasure you’re providing him.

he starts to cum, his cock throbbing as he shoots load after load down your throat. he tightens his grip on your hair as he bucks his hips up against your mouth, keeping you there as he cums, groaning.

you swallow everything he gives you, never breaking eye contact with him until he’s spent and still. he collapses back onto the mattress, a heavy panting escaping his lips as he tries to recover from that orgasm. he’s never felt so spent right after sex before. he looks down at you, his body going weak again at the sight of you still there.

you smile, satisfied, content even, as you look up at him with half lidded eyes. “was that okay?” you ask softly.

“fuck, that was amazing,” he gasps out, trying to catch his breath. he watches as you go to his dresser to retrieve the box of tissues he keeps, and you make your way back to him.

you hand a tissue to him, but he just pulls you closer to press his lips against yours, needing to feel you again. there’s a slight blush on your cheeks as you pull away.

rafe is tired, but he’s staring at you like he’s in a daze, “you're going to be the death of me, i swear.”

sobbing omg that was all so fast paced

@sublimepenguinpeach-blog @lalalalala33 @darkcolorexpert @babyflockaaaa @lifeofleasaasa @ilyrafe @mkiverd @wxn-drlst @maybankslover @xxbirkindoll2 @chiliwhore @wearemadeofstardust0 @thepopcultureaddict @mounthings @ijustwanttoreadlols @karmasloverrr @lilithblackkk @drewsdirtyslut @rafesno1bae @mfdoomdickrider @pillowprincess4him @lanascokedeal3r @evilsturniolos

[mulansaucey]

Bat Wives Wine Night - 2

  AZRIEL X READER (SMUT)

Thank you for all the feedback, hearing how much you guys liked it means so much to me. This part is very steamy so please enjoy. I kept this as reader’s POV because I’m so swamped with work right now I dont have time to switch POVs. My request is open so if you want me to write something for you, I’d be more than happy. I’m still figuring how I’m gonna start writing more so bear with me. I hope you guys like it!

WARNINGS: Alch use, P in V, oral sex, semi public sex, fingering, BDSM vibes/dynamic, sex under the influence but consensual, established relationship and boundaries. 

    Shit. We were finally caught. It looked kind of absurd, six people standing in a semi circle completely still with raunchy, erotic music booming hard in the background. I feel a talon poking at my shields and I at first thought it was Rhys ready to tell me off and get my ass out of here but instead it was darling Feyre. 

“Bathroom.” 

    Didn’t have to tell me twice. I go to move but the shadow firmly wraps around each of our legs, cementing us to the floor. I narrowed my eyes at Azriel and the shadows, soothing shadows wrap around my arms like an apology. 

    “I gotta piss!” I scream out, not only did I actually have to piss but I needed an excuse to go somewhere quiet and try to sober up to explain to my mate why I was getting wasted without telling him where I was. Cass grins and starts cackling, the first bat boy to break. He goes over to Nesta immediately finding his place within her arms, lips already on her neck. She struggles to contain a moan, by now Az relents his shadows.

    He walks towards me with an amused expression, “That was quite a show up there.” He said, gesturing to the stunt I pulled on the table. He wrapped his arms around me while I hid in his shoulder. I’m blushing furiously by now. 

    “I can explain, just let me sober up a bit in the bathroom first.” I go to grab Nesta, seeing her making out with Cass, peeling them off each other. I make my way to Feyre giggling in Rhys neck. Once I gather both girls we stumble into the surprisingly empty bathroom and just sit. Not the cleanest surface but honestly we just need a minute to process. I take the time to actually pee, moving back to the floor once I get done washing my hands (A/N PLEASE WASH YOUR HANDS). 

    “I’m a little relieved but a little sad we got caught.” Feyre says, resting the back of her head against a stall, Nesta leaning hers on the sink to my right. I give a nod but smile looking at them both. The shit we got up to has been great and I think we accomplished what we needed these past years. Drunk me is nostalgic so I open my mouth to reminisce on a night out a few months back. 

    “Remember one night we snuck out to Day Court to party with Helion?” We can’t help but laugh. Nesta adds, “Of course I do, he made us lift him up during a keg stand. His thighs were huge, felt like I was holding a beef cake.” I cackle at the memory of helping a High Lord do something so absurd. 

    “My favorite is when Y/N tried to dance battle a sentry, never knew you could do the splits.” Feyre gasping at the end of her sentence, not being able to hold in her laughter. 

    Nesta’s eyes brightened and she stood up. She pulled Feyre and I to our feet and said, “The fun has just begun now, let’s get out of here. Leave the boys to ponder.” I started giggling, the alcohol making me ten times more likely to agree to anything. 

    “Where would we go?” I ask, everything is closed and we can’t just bar hop the boys will eventually find us AGAIN. 

     “LET'S GO SEE AMREN!” Feyre squeals, she winnows us out before we can even agree. We pop up right in front of Amren’s apartment door. We knocked probably more than we should have. Amren’s pale but beautiful face is revealed. 

    “What do you want?” Straight to the point like she always is. We all smile brightly at her very unamused face. 

    “The boys caught us drinking so we ditched them to come see you.” I let out while giving my biggest puppy dog eyes that work on Azriel, not so much on Amren. She reluctantly opens up to let us through, not willing to close the door on her High Lady, being sisters with Feyre has its perks. We tumble in, getting comfortable in her living room. 

    “You can’t stay long, Varian comes over in an hour or two.” Amren says walking back to her room to clean up a bit. I just now notice she’s in her nice silk robe, with probably nothing underneath. The faelights are turned to a dark red, casting the apartment in a sensual vibe. They be fucking. 

    I then feel Azriel calling for me through the bond. I send back a reassuring push, to let him know I’m fine. 

    “Where are you?” his words echoing through me. I feel slightly bad so I answer back, “I’m at a friend's house, I’m fine.” I can feel him get annoyed and ask where I am. I just send another push of love and reassurance and ignore his calls. Will I regret it by the morning? Yes. I can already feel the spanks coming my way when he finds me. I’ve broken so many of his “rules”. They call it “funishment” for a reason. 

    Amren hands us each a glass of water and some bread to sober up. 

    “So, what the fuck are you guys doing here?” Amren asks, settling onto an armchair. We go into detail about our secret Wine Nights. The only sign of amusement from the short, scary woman was a smirk. “Well, you sure do give them a run for their money, girl.” 

     We spend the hour sipping on our water and gossiping with Amren, enjoying the chill of the night. “Sorry to burst your bubble, girl but your mate is asking if you’re here and I don’t plan on lying to my High Lord.” We all groan, not wanting to move from our spot. 

    “Plus Varian will  be here any second and I do not care if you are here to see us fucking.” Amren lets out in a breathy laugh. That scrambles us to our feet fast. Not before snagging a bottle of Amren’s nice wine. We all leave to walk the streets until we get to almost the back of Velaris. Walking along the Sidra until it’s just docks and water. I feel a talon on my shields and judging from the looks on my friends faces I can tell Rhys is reaching out to all of us. 

    “You went to Amren’s? Are you guys serious right now? Tell me where you are, NOW.” Rhys almost shouts into our minds. I can tell Feyre relents and lets him know we’re towards the end of the city. Knowing the boys will be here any minute we admire the water. We’re all leaning on the rail and each other. Taking turns sipping on the red wine. 

    “I wanna swiiiiimmmmm” Feyre whines, she’s already taking off her shoes and I agree and go to start stripping. Nesta grabs my arm with a warning looking around to make sure nobody saw her sisters butt ass naked. 

    “We shouldn’t, what if someone sees us!” Nesta tries to whisper but it comes out more like a loud shout. I clamp my hand on her mouth, less gracefully than I liked. 

    “Shhhh! Come in, we will be fine, the water sounds soooo nice.” I say, going to take off my pants. We all strip down to our underwear, Fey and I wanted to be naked but we stayed in our panties and bra to appease Nesta’s worry. Of course my High Lady jumped in first, a loud splash echoed throughout the empty courtyard. I glance back to Nesta, I wink at her before cannonballing my way into the water. I return to the surface, smiling at Feyre. I wave Nesta into the water, and a third splash echoed. We all enjoy floating on our backs, looking up into the stars littering the sky. 

*WHOOSH* 

    The distinct sound of flapping of wings. I hear three pairs of shoes touch down the wooden pier. I can feel the bond flow with relief that quickly follows by irritation from my mate. Seems like he didn’t appreciate having to track across Velaris to find me, drunk and floating in the back part of the Sidra. 

    “What the hell are you guys doing? Get out of there now, please!” Rhy’s silky voice reaches our ears. “We’ve been looking for you for hours!” Cass yells out. We finally sat up right in the water, taking a look at our exhausted mates. 

    “Well you found us!” I shout back. “Come in and join us, look at the stars, just chill for a minute.” I say more quietly which pisses my mate off even more.

     “Get your ass out of the water before I drag you out of there.” Azriel’s voice never going above a shout, but his words are filled with tension nonetheless. 

    “Scared, boys? C’mon Cass, come join me.” Nesta almost purrs to her mate, throwing her soaking bra at his feet. She swims farther away to her right towards a small cluster of rocks. Well, there goes Nesta’s modesty. Looking around to see three clusters of rock, far away enough from us to have privacy but close enough to know what Nesta was thinking. I’m getting fucked in the river tonight.  

    Cassian looks at his brothers and takes off his shirt, Feyre and I start hooting at him to encourage our mates. 

    “Tits out, balls out, brothers.” Cass says as he drops his pants splashing in, swimming towards Nes. That man would follow her anywhere. 

    Azriel looks at me, waiting for me to swim to him. Honestly, I submit to him most of the time. Our dynamic naturally fell into that role. And as much as I love being Az’s good girl, being bad is much more fun. Rhys strips down, jumping and leading a giggling Feyre to a cluster of rocks towards my left. Leaving the middle and the farthest rocks to me, I swim back keeping eye contact with my mate. Every step further away from him, I feel the pulse of the bond pound harder in my chest, daring me to make my next move. I slide the straps of my bra down, his eyes never leaving mine. I take it off, letting my nipples perk up under the water, raising my chest a bit to throw it at him and maybe to tease him. 

    One thing about Azriel is he doesn't like to share and he doesn't like people seeing what’s his. Although his brothers are very much preoccupied with their own mates, I know he’s boiling with jealousy. He speaks through the bond, “Don’t make me come in there, I won’t play nice.” 

    I squeeze my thighs under the water and send a rush of arousal through the bond. 

    “I don't want nice.” I say back, out loud. His wings perk up in challenge before he starts stripping down, his tattoos showing against his beautiful tan skin. I hear him mutter under his breath, “I’m going to regret this.” He slowly sinks in, taking his god damn precious time while my friends are getting some sort of fucked on the the two sides of me. I can’t hear them but can see the tops of their heads from my distance. I hear enough water splashing to know they aren’t innocently playing in the water. 

    He just about reaches me when I jump back laughing loudly. I wasn’t done with this game yet, Azriel and I love the build up almost more than the actual sex. Whether he wants to admit it or not, he loves when I’ve been bad. He loves having an excuse to spank me red, to deny or give my pleasure. He firmly but gently grabs my wrist holding me to his chest and pushes us behind the rocks, ensuring no one can see us. He releases his shadows cocooning our sounds.

     Az leans down his lips touching the shell of my ear, “You’ve been a bad girl, bunny. Not answering me when I called. Running to Amren’s of all places. Just know when I’m done with you here, I won’t be holding back at home.” He kisses my cheek, a sweet gesture as if his words didn’t promise me a world of pain and dizzying pleasure. His hand that practically dwarfs my body,  gently feels up my side. When he reaches my throat his grip tightens pulling my chest flush to his, his lips crashing down on mine. His tongue dominates my mouth, my nipples rubbing against his skin in the most delicious way. This kiss wasn't nice, it was all consuming. It was claiming. My hands run through his hair, pulling him closer to me. I let out a moan as he tongues the hollow of my throat, sinking his teeth on my sweet spot behind my ear. He gives my inner thigh a spank, I yelp out in surprise as he chuckles. I’m already soaked, arousal flooding my senses. My craving for him can only be soothed with him deep inside me. My hand finds his godly cock, stroking him gently, “I want you, please.”

    “Already begging for it and I’ve barely touched you, bunny.” he grunts out, I twist my hands around the head of his cock as he hisses from the sensation. He grabs my hand, twisting my body around while holding both hands behind my back. 

    “I’m doing the touching tonight. You had me worried baby, you know I don’t like being denied. Especially from you.” He presses open mouthed kisses along my spine, I can barely breathe by the time his mouth meets the flesh of my ass, he bites down. Hard. Likely leaving an imprint of his teeth, Illyrians are such territorial babies. He rips my underwear off, tearing it nearly in two. 

    I feel the rock against my cheek, the cold surface cooling my overheated body. Without warning, Az’s tongue sweeps through my arousal. He approves in a grunt, going right back into feast on me. I moan loudly, knowing the shadows are muffling my sounds.  I just now notice his shadows are holding my arms together while Az grabs handfuls of my ass. Water drips down my back into his hair, making all of this so erotic. He switches between pulling my clit gently between his lips to full on lapping at it. He pushes his large finger into me making me push back against his face, he pushes me further into the rocks as he stands, still fucking me with his hand. He grabs a fistful of my hair, his lips on my ear. “Enjoy this, bunny because you won’t be cumming for the rest of the night.” His breath hot against my skin, he added two more fingers stretching me wide to take him later. At this point, I’m moaning shamelessly. 

    “Oh, yes. Fuck yes. Azriel.” I moan out his name, knowing just how riled up my mate gets hearing his name from my lips. He fucks me harder with his fingers, applying the smallest amount of pressure around my throat. His hard chest, flush against my back. It’s weirdly intimate for being in the gods damn river. I can feel the knot building in my stomach, I clench around his fingers and before I can cum he rips his hand away from my sex. I whine in protest. 

    “You’re soaking, bunny.” He says rubbing his almost painfully hard cock between my ass cheeks. He strokes his cock with the hand he pleasured me with, getting ready to absolutely rearrange my guts. I push my hips back, grinding on any part of him I can. “I don't think you want it enough though, you’re gonna have to beg for it. Say you’re sorry, bunny. Tell me how much you want it.” He purrs into my ear. I look over my shoulder, not caring how pathetic I look right now. Bent over a rock with my hands behind my back, whining for him. 

    “Please fuck me, Az. I’m sorry, I really am. Just please fuck me, I need you mate.” I knew pulling the mate card would get Azriel inside me quicker than lightning. And I was right, I could feel the head of his perfect cock push inside me. I moan at the feeling of the first stretch, no matter how many years have passed, I’ll never be tired of this feeling. Az lets out a small moan as he fully sheaths himself inside me. He rests his forehead on the top of my back and lets out another moan as I shift to get used to his size. “Fuuck” he whispers in pleasure. He’s never been one to make a lot of noise at all, so hearing any sound of pleasure from him made everything much more rewarding. He rises again, using one hand to hold my hands, the other around my hip. Promising a bruise the next day. 

    “You ready, bunny?” he asks me, the loving side of Azriel returning for a moment. He kisses my cheek sweetly as I nod, weakly, “Pleeeease…” I moan out. He chuckles as he pulls himself almost all the way out before thrusting hard. I moaned loudly this time. He chooses a harsh pace, barely giving me time to breathe before the next thrust. The water splashes around us, that sound mixed with Azriel’s grunting and hearing just how wet I am every time he thrusts in makes me feel almost embarrassed, almost. If it wasn't for how amazing I felt. I could feel the bond thrumming with lust. I was moaning out Azriel’s name when he slowed down just a bit, enough to slow down my orgasm that so badly wanted to burst. 

    “You look so good, bunny. You feel fucking amazing, this pretty little cunt was made for me.” He made a point to slowly grind into me, letting me hear the mess he was making at the apex of my thighs. The squelching sound made me blush.  “Tell me how good you feel, bunny.” Az requested, then immediately returned to his harsh pace making my words sound jumbled and frantic. 

    “F-fuuck, I-I feel so good, yo-you make me feel good. Keep fucking me, pl-please.” I moan out, I have enough strength to meet his hips snapping into mine, Az lets out a deep groan. He snakes his hand to my clit, giving it the attention I very much desired. I start yelling out his name at the added stimulation. At this point we let our desire control us, fucking into each other like it was the last time we have the chance to. The tension builds in my stomach and I start clenching down on his cock, Az lets out another deep groan. 

    “Yeah, bunny. Come all over my cock, fuck me til you’re hoarse.” He grits through his teeth. I scream out his name like a prayer as my orgasm tears through me, he can feel me cumming around him. I can feel his stomach tightening on my back, he ruts into me moaning my name as he cums inside me. Feeling his hot seed against my walls makes me want to cum again so I moan and push against him selfishly wanting more of him. I always want more. His shadows release my arms and Az turns me around in the water, surprisingly still keeping himself inside me. I wrap my arms around his shoulder, breathing in his scent. I place gentle kisses along his neck while he slows his breathing against my shoulder. He looks up at me after a moment and kisses me fully. His smooth lips taking place on mine, the kind of kiss that makes you dizzy and wanting more. I can't tell you how long we stayed in that position, lazily making out and enjoying each other. 

    “HEY YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE IN HERE AFTER DARK!” I hear a distant shout, pulling my face off Az’s I scoot closer to him trying to hide my naked body. He slowly pulls out of me chuckling. 

    “I thought you were feeling brave tonight, bunny.” He presses a soft kiss to my forehead. I blush, hiding my face in his neck, biting down gently on him for teasing me. He gives me a small spank in return.

    “GET OUT OF THERE NOW!” The sentry yells out to us. I hear Rhys speak up, pushing his body enough to where the guard can see his face. 

    “Hey Felix, uhh look I’ll give you a bonus if you turn around and forget this happened.” The sentry’s eyes widen when he realizes he caught the most important people in his court skinny dipping. I can hear Feyre’s giggle as she peeks her head up. Rhys slowly pushes her down, again proving how possessive our Illyrian babies are. 

    “Yes, my Lord. Good night.” He’s gone before I can even look up again. We all burst out laughing, the absurdity of this night all hitting us. We should get out of here before we traumatize another sentry. I cling onto Azriel as he waddles us through the water towards our clothes. We’re the first to get dressed, Az shielding my body with his wing. When the others start climbing out and dressing Az wraps me in his arms whispering in my ear, “I hope you had fun, my love. Your punishment starts when we get home.” I bite my lip, staring up at him. I hum in agreement, “I can’t wait.” I wink at him, giving him a soft kiss. He returns the kiss with his own, biting my bottom lip. 

    “Alright, brother. Wait til you get home, I’m too tired to witness this.” Rhy says, gesturing for us ladies to walk ahead first. Probably scared we’re gonna run off again. Once we get out into the empty street, the boys grab us and haul ass into the sky. I can’t blame them, we sorta made them chase around Velaris for like three hours. I scream as Az does intricate tricks, once we land at the River House I stumble inside, not used to gravity yet. I am completely sober though so that’s a plus. 

    “Go grab your things, sweetheart. I’ll be waiting in here.” Az says to me passing by to sit on a chair. I rush to grab my bag and meet him back in the sitting room.

         I hear Cass grumble, “I’m getting too old for this shit.” Rubbing Nes’s thighs as she sits on his lap. Love bites litter Cass’s neck. Rhys nods along, holding Feyre’s hand, he looks as if he could fall asleep right there on the couch. Us girls look at each other in annoyance. I speak up, my hand running through Az’s hair, “We keep you young and y’all know it.” He just smirks up at me, pulling himself to stand. Azriel has got plans and he’s trying to get me alone as soon as possible.  

    “Alright, ladies. Next month, same time?” Feyre says, the boys' protests falling on deaf ears. 

    “Maybe we should discuss next month, darling. Before you give me a heart attack.” Rhy says, kissing her hand. Azriel drags me outside, not bothering for goodbyes. I can feel his impatience through the bond. Insteading of flying, he winnows us home. Leading me through our house and to our room. I go to take off my damp clothes, his helpful hands tugging the material down. 

    “Lay on the bed, bunny.” Az commands. A part of me didn’t take his threats earlier seriously but he watches me walk to our bed and lay down. His eyes darken. He looks pointedly at my hands, I lift my arms up letting his shadows twine though, holding me down. The shadows doing the same to ankles and thighs spread me apart. I'm embarrassingly wet again. 

    “You’ve been a bad, bad girl. I’m gonna have to teach you my rules again.” he takes his time undressing, letting the wetness gather between my legs. He kisses my ankles, all the way up to the tops of my thighs. I whimpered as he purposely avoids the area I want him most. 

I whimper out a please, begging for him. 

“You know you’ve been bad, bunny?” 

“Yes, sir.” I moan as he liked my inner thigh. 

“You won’t go out without letting me know?” 

“Yes, sir.” Another lick on the other side. 

“You’ll answer back when I call out to you?” 

“Yes, sir.” I moan again as he brushes his lips against my clit, barely touching me. 

I look down at him, seeing his eyes light up with hunger. He licks his lips, looking at me. 

“Good, then let's begin.” 

-------

TAGLIST:  @azriels-mate123  @blueeclipsepaperstudent  @feyretopia  @percyjacksonspeen @ bubbles-for-all-of-us @ despoinasstuff @ brekkershadowsinger  @ capbuckyfalcon  @ tsibba01 @ elizarikaallen @ azzydaddy  @ weirdo-fun @ lena-davina @ ktmylady @ frawst-disasta @ onlyhereforthelolsss 

[liquidstar]

i think that on here we've kinda talked a lot about how the traditional "coming out" narrative presented in popculture is flawed in reality. because it always presents this idea that you have to tell everyone who you Really are, that youre Hiding parts of yourself, that you can never be You until you bare your Secrets to the world. and that actually this isnt because people feel entitled to your personal business but that its hurting YOU when they dont know your personal business so you should really just tell them. (but also dont be "too" proud because thats annoying :( act mostly cishet please but dont lie about it! hehe!) it will work out every time for sure :)

but ofc thats not how real life works. i mean, naturally i understand that there are OF COURSE people out there who want to be loud and proud about who they are, and that this is incredibly important to their identity which theyve suppressed for so long. but that "coming out" narrative is harmful because it ignores many of the reasons it had to be suppressed to begin with. its fucking dangerous! its dangerous to a lot of people for a lot of reasons. they can lose their support system, family, job, house, and their entire life. both in the sense that they'll be completely uprooted from it, and in the sense that they could be killed. so constantly presenting the notion of "coming out is good for you no matter what because its the Only way to be your Real Authentic Self and also you HAVE to do it eventually because thats how this narrative is just Meant to go. be a good little queer and please dont stray from this path."

and the problem is that plenty of young LGBT+ people completely internalize it too! ive had so many convos with young people worried about coming out to their conservative family because, well, theyre supposed to! and their minds are completely blown when i tell them that actually they dont have to do that. that theyre under no obligation to tell everyone their business and its okay to just keep being them w/o making an announcement about it. ESPECIALLY IF IT PUTS THEM IN DANGER!!!! and to be clear this issue doesnt stop at age 18 or at moving out or anything like that either, there continue to be many obstacles for many people that make coming out unsafe, or just a bad life decision to uproot everything Right Now. it's okay to just be in the closet and it isn't a moral failing like cishet media wants to convince us. we all agree, right?

good! but here's what my actual real point is:

when we talk about this, for some reason, we seem to only reaaaallly be talking about the gay side of it, right? like im sure lots of people imagined, like, teenage gay boy movies. maybe a couple lesbian and bi characters too perhaps. and that makes sense because thats like the most common narrative for this sort of trope, so ofc those are the first examples we imagine. and ofc theres the more complex addition of "passing" when it comes to trans versions of this story, the idea that you gotta look a certain way to be "valid" adds another layer.

so i think its time more people started to acknowledge this about trans people too, right? i think we can all agree with this on paper already; no trans person is obligated to come out or present a certain way if theyre not in a place where they currently are able to do so. physically, mentally, financially... or just because they dont wanna! whatever the circumstances are, there is no criteria they have to meet to be vindicated in this. it doesnt only apply to 14 year olds living with shitty parents who plan to move out soon and become "Really Trans" (as if they didnt count before conforming to The Narrative), the person could be 40 and never planning to be completely out, and its the same. they dont owe you this "showing the world who you Really are in order to [earn the right to] Be Yourself" crap. thats their choice only.

however, i also think that even if most ppl on here in lgbt circles on here agree with the general sentiment... sometimes it doesnt always get applied it practice. though the whole "truscum" thing kinda died down (thank god) i still think that rampant transmedicalism has left its scars on lots of people and the things they internalize, combined with similar cisheteronormative messages in popular media about how your narrative Should go and how you Should act and look to be respected, and its Morally Wrong not to fit that mold.

so when encountered with people who dont pass, who dont TRY to pass and instead actively choose to look like their agab due to the fact that they are literally in the closet irl (lest we forget people have whole entire complex lives outside of the net) this sort of short circuit happens in ppls heads, where that internalized idea of "but you're supposed to be THIS WAY! youre not doing it RIGHT!" pops back up and they end up labeling that person as fake or Not Trans Enough for this reason.

and i do also think part of this stems from people not having enough sympathy for those whose paths are different, because they were told not to. theres a Right way, and they did it the right way. and likely they struggled for it a lot, so isnt it unfair that people are doing it the Easy Way (as if its easy to be closeted to begin with) and claiming theyre like you? thats Wrong. they have to Earn it. you lgbts should all get mad at EACH OTHER actually! this will help your community be better [in the eyes of cishetero society that doesnt really want you to exist to begin with]

additionally the reason im emphasizing the internet side of this so much is because... well, in this day and age, thats the space lots of people go to to NOT be in the closet. to at least microdose on being "out" while in real life they very much arent. like i said before, being in the closet is rough and taxing, suppressing yourself hurts which is why so many people wanna be loud and out and proud! not everyone can though, so turning to a place with relative anonymity to get that is great, and i think its probably saved a lot of people. but also because of this, its pretty much the only way to get the scenario this is positing to begin with- where you know a stranger can know that youre trans even if youre otherwise closeted completely, just so they can tell you that youre Not. but how many people in the past do you think lived lives where they never let these feelings out at all? how many alive today do you think dont even express them online?

you know that sort trope (often stereotypes in media) of a trans person "crossdressing" only when alone, in order to get a short bit of relief or euphoria that they cant in their closed life? i think that today we have the internet to do that. i think its kind of the same thing. but its also very different, because its not as private. its still secret, because its anonymous, but its also something shared with plenty of strangers at the same time. they dont know you irl, so its safe, distant, and gives you that rush of being yourself, and being referred to correctly by others too. theres community, theres support, and theres friendship too, once you get to know those strangers. its not a "second life" or a "persona" is just a side of yourself you dont show elsewhere, an identity that needs to be let out one way or another.

who the fuck are we to deny others the right to this life-saving connection just because they arent out? because they dont pass or dress the Right way irl? because we decided they arent trying hard enough to "fit in"? because they dont plan to change their lives to fit the right narrative anytime soon?

should they not be allowed into the community then? that would be perfect wouldnt it? leave many who need support out to die, because they did it Wrong. fight within our community over who is doing it Right until we've broken it in half. the righteous ones [according to cishet standards] are surely going to be treated with respect once they get rid of the Bad ones, right?

yeah, i dont think so. thats horseshit. we're stronger together than we are apart, thats why infighting is so useful to those who dont want us to be strong to begin with. its important to help each other, boost each other up, even if some of us arent playing the "right" part irl. are we really just going to sit around and accept the cishet norms as rules to live by? fuck that. not everyones story will reflect it, and you have to accept them anyway if you want a strong community. it doesnt matter how much they might look/act like their agab irl, if theyre telling you otherwise take it at face value, respect them the way you would any other. again, many of us agree with this on paper, but i think we still have to put work into acting on that too.

the end <3

[thislousytshirt]

Wyll Ravenguard story suggestions

ive heard a lot of people, both fans and non-fans of wyll, say that his storyline is lacking, and i agree. i actually think lae'zel, karlach and wyll just have weaker stories than the other origin characters but ive seen people say they think wylls was neglected because hes the only black character and yeah... i think it has a lot of potential and ive thought about how id rewrite it without removing anything thats there (like completely changing the role of his father or changing wylls character, i tried not to change his character at all but there might be things i overlooked) i tried to come up with content that could feasibly be added to the existing game by larian. anyway heres what id add

-a scene early in act 2 where wyll confesses to the player that what happened with karlach has caused him to question whether mizora has manipulated him to kill other innocents or good people in the past. he summons her to ask (wait, can he summon her? i dont see why not) and she makes light of the question, refusing to answer outright but implying she has. this is upsetting to wyll and causes him to question his role as a hero. (this scene does not happen if karlach was killed or that quest wasnt completed)

-a scene early in act 3 where wyll tries to help a group of refugees but is rejected because one of them can sense his connection with a devil. this sparks a conversation with the player where wyll says hes come to terms with his sacrifice but he isnt made of stone and being rejected by his father and then continuously used by mizora is wearing him down. he then apologizes for being selfish and the player can end the conversation or tell him hes not being selfish and encourage him to talk about what it was like after he was outcast as a teenager. after this he will show frustration with the situation and say hes afraid he will grow to resent the people hes trying to help. the player can say that they value his help or they can encourage him to stand up and defend his own value to other people. (or they can say some dick thing yk)

-after duke ravenguard is rescued hes brought unconcious to the camp. he recovers and is freed from the absolute by the astral prism but is disgusted with wyll like his is in canon and refuses to work with the party or listen to what they have to say. he leaves to go to his house and gather his resources. the party agrees they must go after him before the astral prism's effect wears off (is this how the astral prism works?) the party sneaks into ravenguards house or fights his loyal flaming fists to get to the duke, and pass a persuasion check to allow wyll to talk to his father. it is a DRAMATIC and EMOTIONAL confrontation where wyll tells his father he made a pact to prevent a slaughter, that he has been fighting to save innocents ever since, and that it still hurts that his father believed he had done it for power. wylls father looks conflicted and agrieved - he doesnt want to believe he was so unfair to his own son. wyll tells him that he can disbelieve wyll and hate him if he wants but begs him to work together with him to stop the absolute and save baldurs gate. ravenguard believes him and is remorseful, they hug and everyones tadpoles connect catching the duke up on whats happened. he goes to their camp and becomes an ally like usual

*if the party didnt recruit wyll or he was killed, the duke becomes their ally like in canon and gives them the key to his house so they can use his stuff

*if the persuasion check to get ravenguard to talk to wyll is failed they will have to fight him. after the fight wyll gives him a potion and says his speech like normal. i just think it would be fun and dramatic to have a mini boss fight in there

*if for some reason the player decides not to bring wyll to the confrontation with the duke then they can just persuade the duke through dialogue and tadpole-meld with him but it will not be nearly as satisfying. back at camp wyll will say hes reconciled with his father and thank the player.

*if duke ravenguard is not saved at all then i assume there is a canon dialogue that plays with wyll but i havent seen it so if its as bad as his reunion scene then rewrite that too.

i havent seen like, every scene, i havent even finished act 3 in my playthrough because i have adhd, and ive only seen wylls early romance scenes. so its possible some of the stuff ive touched on is hidden late in act 3 or in the romance but i want it in his main story path and earlier if thats the case. and i have seen the confrontation with his father and i think its super bad.

also - i know rescuing the duke is already very difficult and annoying, and adding extra steps to recruiting him would piss a lot of people off, but its worth it for me to get the confrontation into a setting where lighting and staging can be used to effect, and the effect of wyll having to forcibly enter one of his families properties which he should have been welcome in - it symbolizes him no longer accepting his exile.

anyway tell me what you would have done differently

[uroboros-if]

seeing your rant about how difficult it is to be somewhat rude without ruining your relationships in ifs WAS SO RELATABLE! It doesn’t feel real to be always good or nice to characters to be liked

I’m not saying you should be able beat them up and still romance without consequences but romance/relationships aren’t always perfect and peaceful!!! Disagreements/arguments should be something that can happen without it being at the cost of the relationship itself ugh because that’s normal come on >:| as an angst enjoyer, its so hard to have fun without the character being like “you dont agree with me? perish then”

so I’m even more excited for the game now that I saw your take on it because LETS GO!!!!!! <3

You succinctly explained what I struggled to! 😭

I will confess it's half self-indulgent, because I really enjoy relationships where the two must confront their conflicting ideals! I understand most seek other like-minded people, but what of characters who like to be challenged? Characters who can't help but be attached to someone they shouldn't be?

Even setting that aside, you are completely correct! As long as that topic isn't sensitive to someone and neither party is inflexible, people won't automatically like you less.

So not only does such an approval system lose out on angst potential, sometimes it's also unrealistic. There is truth in it as our opinions of others do adjust based on their actions, and those things add up! However, it's a problem when it's applied to even arbitrary choices, or it unnecessarily severely impacts your approval.

Under the read more is my "theory" on why some ROs in IFs are defined by a dynamic trope (rivals to lovers, childhood friends to lovers, etc)!! 💕

It is difficult, if not impossible for a numerical approval system to qualitatively judge your relationship dynamics; it can only judge based on the weight of each choice. It can't, for example, see you've transitioned from being rude, to softening up to the character after realizing they're not so bad. The game only sees the sum of all your negative and positive points.

Without a way to label your actions by anything but a number, a system that purely relies on numerics is incapable of interpreting the dynamics of your relationship, and therefore customizing future interactions with the RO.

Of course, I think most IFs don't purely rely on numbers. Some do a hybrid in which important decisions are tracked qualitatively and lesser ones are tracked numerically. However, even then, some romance is limited by a baseline approval you must achieve in a certain timeframe, and that leads to pressure to meet that mystery number.

Furthermore, these qualitative "important decisions" often have more to do with the plot than how it defines your relationship specifically -- things like "did you kill their father?" rather than "What were their first impressions of the MC?"

So I believe that without a way to interpret the MC's actions meaningfully, there's only one way to play a romance route. There's only one dynamic with that character, one way the relationship can really be. You can be different genders, have your relationship contextualized differently as the story changes from your actions, but rarely does it dramatically differ solely on personality. Rarely does it examine how your relationship varies from the different ways you interact with that character.

I think it's fine that some characters are like that! In fact, it's realistic that some dynamics don't suit certain characters. For example, it's not possible to have rivals to lovers with Salvatore, because they have no reason to see you as a rival, even if you hate them or try to compete with them.

However, taking Sal as an example, your relationship can vary widely by your attitude towards them. It can be a case of friends who lost touch and regret having lost touch; it can be one-sided, as Sal may view MC as a friend, but the MC is bitterly jealous of them. Perhaps MC doesn't think much of them at all.

That's the kind of meaningful interpretation of relationships I aim for--different dynamics rather than boxing in Sal as the typical childhood friends to lovers. There is no one way to play their romance; it should change as the MC is different.

I see how it's not for everyone, and I acknowledge that it is a Herculean task that may, in time, reveal the full extent of its complexity. But I strive for it because such a complicated relationship is central to the conflict of Uroboros. There is nothing more important an undertaking than character relationships in the IF.

Extremely long theory and rambling, but I am so happy someone shares my thoughts, at least as far as disagreements with the ROs!! ❤️❤️ Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to share even more of my opinion, Anon! I'm thrilled you are so excited for the story!

[dez-wade]

Would like to add my 2 cents onto the topic of Tallulah and Richarlyson's argument. I didn't live blog anything during that bc I realized fairly quickly that this argument they had was something that hit me very personally bc I've lived through it. It hit even harder due to me being an older sister with a younger brother

I can only speak about Bads stream bc that's who I was watching during this whole thing going on, so I dont know how it truly started besides Richas saw the painting Phil got from Cellbit and rightfully got upset about.

Just wanted to say how I loved Bad's handling of the situation with Tallulah. Reasoning with her while also validating her feelings bc it's so easy for parents to go "you're older, YOU have to apologize first" which... I have so many feelings about, but I could see that the conversation happening between BBH and Tallulah would be one of understanding and cooling down from an emotional moment. Also how Bad gave examples of his own experiences. How he's had fights with siblings or friends and understanding that SOMEONE has to apologize first bc you realize you both are in the wrong (which they were)

But chats refusal to see it like that truly got on my nerves. How no matter how many times Bad explained that they're kids and they'll overreact it just went through people's heads and they'd get upset about the situation again.

I can understand the reasoning some chatters had, but everyone NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND that this is roleplay. Yes the eggs are most likely played by people in their late teens to early 20's, but they're playing little kids, who don't have the emotional maturity of an adult, so that's how they're going to act: childish.

I thought Bad handled everything pretty well with the information he had, so I was very surprised to see that people were upset about it. I think there was no one on the server that could've handled that situation perfectly, and quite frankly I don't think there wasn't even a way to handle it perfectly at all considering you're dealing with two little kids and one way or another they'll get upset in which decision you make. Bad was great.

Forever's side for me was also completely understandable. I agree that he should have handled it better, but I also could see why he acted the way he did. A lot of people forget that Forever felt way more responsible for Tallulah because she's not his kid, Philza gave permission to take care of her after rejecting it once and he doesn't want to mess up. He will always be able to take care of Richarlyson after all this, but if he does something wrong with Tallulah, Philza will not let him take her again. It was a different type of responsibility. It was someone else's kid in his care!

And both Forever and Bad are also justifiable in thinking Richas was the immature one in that situation, because in their POV he put a material object over his relationship to his sister. That material might have a deeper meaning, but his sister would always be more important. Of course we, the audience, are very aware of Richarlyson's lore and that painting can't be compared to a normal real life painting, it's something much creepy and deeper than that, but their reaction over a situation like that for me was completely normal. If you're a parent of two kids, the last thing you want to see is one consider the other dead just because of a painting.

Also Richas never truly speaks about them besides saying he hates it, and that was the first time he actually expressed himself better about the whole Montelyson situation. So I hope he can communicate better in the future and their parents can get rid of that creepy thing once and for all.

[eueuphoriaz]

Cold War between Levi and Hange Part 2: Walltop

But first, I want to share my favouritest screengrab of Hange and her eyes.

I was literally stunned when I saw someone share this because it skipped my attention when I watched the show the first time. And it turns out this is an anime-only scene but I just love love how her round eyes watch in shock(?) or amazement(?) at the flare Levi shot, indicating Armin is awake and (guessing) able to control his titan ability. She just look so good with or without her specs that I want to pinch her cheeks here.

❤️❤️❤️❤️

So after that, the family had a meeting while Floch stood a distance away. In the blog that I read about the cold war between Levi and Hange, they mentioned about the dialogue on how Hange is also angry at Eren and Mikasa on their insubordination. Basically, I can organise them as follow:-

1) Armin's recount of what happened

Armin repeated what he heard from Eren, took stock of what he missed and the whole conflict between him and Erwin surfaced again. He took a water break and questioned Levi's decision.

Now, this is back to the whole Levi vs Mikasa scene again, only this time Levi's decision sided with Eren/ Mikasa. So he conveniently dragged the 2 kids down and pushing the "blame" on them.

Eren then followed up (after a reminder kick from Levi to take the rap) and said he is willing to accept punishment and this is when Hange spoke, not towards Levi, but to Eren.

Remember how old married couples will drag kids in to be the intermediary when they are having quarrels? Hange is upset with Levi but she said it via her speech to Eren.

Just because your dad eventually listened to you, it doesnt mean you can do whatever you want.

2) Levi's trying to appease Hange

Eren got embroiled in their conflict again and answered "No".

Now, Levi got what Hange is hinting at, and then took the "blame" up and said that it was his choice and decision. Note that all along, he was facing Hange and looking at her.

Now, it becomes even more frustrating for Hange now because Levi is admitting that there are reasons why he does not revive Erwin. And if I go by what he said to Floch and Hange at the rooftop, it seems like a "selfish" decision to just let him rest and not bring him to Hell again. This is because no one except Levi knew the struggle Erwin has been in. Unless Levi told them that or his assessment that Erwin's eyes were already tired and may not be the best option for Humanity. But I dont think Levi is that type of person to say those even if these thoughts pass his mind and influenced his decision eventually. Therefore, from Hange's perspective, she definitely is feeling angry and betrayed by Levi.

Just had to add Armin because this also appeared just after Erwin thanked Levi for a split second. And it is interesting how Armin's eyes here are mentioned again in his last monologue in Chapt 136.

3) Armin takes over Eren as the intermediary of their cold war

Now, our blonde child Armin decides to get involved in their quarrel and continued to question Levi's decision. This time he even brought up the fate of the Survey Corp.

Hange found a chance to attack Levi again and stated her stand. She, too, agree that it should be Erwin, if she were to be completely honest.

Now this line is only in the anime but not in the manga: "It's a shame we were put in that position"

Notice here that Levi turned and look at her full on. I am not sure if the translation meant that it is a shame there have no commander/ leader, or it is a shame that Levi had to made such a decision but this line of Hange shows the helpless situation that she is in. Her next line further shows how she expressed her feelings of helplessness, that whatever she had done or said, there is nothing else to change the situation because Erwin trusted Levi and Levi chose him. And that, to me, feels like Hange telling Levi:" I am angry and upset, but I cant do anything else about it".

4) She then encouraged Armin without putting pressure or expectations on him (anime reduced that part). Why would she do that? Likely this is her response to Levi's defense that he was the one who made the decision to let Erwin go. It is also possible that she empathised with the guilt Armin may be feeling after Levi announced that it is his decision to let Erwin die. I think she is also trying to spite Levi because only Levi and her has been talking to Armin, and when she told Armin "no matter what anyone says...".

Dont care about what Levi says because he is an a-hole

She has nothing else to say regarding Armin's question of why not Erwin. Levi is also not saying why, just that he wanted Erwin to rest. I can imagine both Armin and Hange are as confused and frustrated as before. But angry as she still is, she is slowly accepting it and also guided Armin to accept the reality.

Now, I am also guessing that Levi's turning and looking at her likely indicate that he is just realising the impact on Hange because of his choice - she has to shoulder the responsibility now....

5) Levi tries his pep talk skills again because Hange gave up and does not want to engage anymore

However, Armin did not stop doubting and questioning, and Levi knew he had to say something because he knows that Hange had conceded defeat and has nothing else to add on. So, in his awkward attempt to encourage Armin, he tried to build on what Hange said about the titan power and Erwin's life on Armin, and tried to validate Armin's strength---> he is trying to tell Armin that his choice is also based on a unique strength that only Armin has. (Indirectly encouraging Hange?)

And he goes on about regrets and mission. And this brings me back to earlier when he tried to give Eren a pep talk when he started to doubt himself after the failed experiment.

Only this time round, he is bitching about their shitty situation and there is no Hange to interpret for him, because she does not have anything else to say and she does not want to have any interaction with Levi.

The cold war is at the coldest, like everyone can sense the tension but no one can say anything to break the ice, unti Sasha came.

6) Sasha's "shut up"

Now, I just want to point out how Hange always use laughter or humour to get herself out of a situation where she is at a loss. Like her failing to get Erwin's permission to capture titan, risking her Oluo's life or failing to get Nick to talk. So, Sasha gave her the opportunity to "vent" her anger at Levi and escape from the tensed situation between the parents, but that did not mean that her upsetness with Levi has grown lesser.

Why do I say that she is still upset at Levi?

She turned and walked away from him

I mean it is so cruel, she just turned and walked away, not even looking at him or anything. Now, Armin, Mikasa and Eren are on the side of the wall nearer to Shiganshina, so she could have turned towards them and Levi while announcing the basement investigation but no. I think she is still feeling angry and upset at Levi here, even though Sasha helped to thaw and defuse the tense situation.

I guess with more children now, this pair of parent need to find a way to sort out their disagreements.

---------

Levihan's Cold War [Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3.1] [Part 3.2]

[waarmsalad]

Not really quick note: so ive never actually 'finished' any fics so i wasnt sure how to, this is also the first one ive posted on here, id love to have any tips even from people who dont really write, constructive critisism is always welcome. I think i stuck to the theme but im not sure lol. Ive edited most of it but some parts i only skimmed through after writing them so mistakes are probably present, anyways thanks for reading and i hope that this is enjoyable and not too goofy😭

(I love your work so much @mustainegf, thank you for the opportunity!<3)

Words: 2k

Warnings: my writing, fwb but no smut, mostly fluff, making out and a mention of smoking. I dont really think theres anything else

You noticed as you looked out the vehicle's window, intricate patters of frost decorating the glass. It was the middle of winter, and by the looks of it neither you or cliff would be trying to get anywhere else after you arrived at his place.

The changes in recent weather had been drastic. It had rained the night before, but now even the air was frozen forcing previous puddles to be formed into patches of slippery ice.

You two figured that after hitting up the grocery store, which had been before the heavy snowfall, you would hang out, watch a movie, share a smoke or get into some other suggestive activity.

You were quite content in that moment but the thought that you'd spent nights awake about itched at your mind again.

A while back Cliff had suggested to add a twist to your benevolence. "I was just thinkin' cause you're always complaining that you're not getting laid-" he  pauses to smirk. "And I'd also like to have a little fun now and then." He had previously explained that if uou were up to it, a freinds with benefits situation wouldnt be so bad.

Before you answered he made sure that you knew that he only wanted to if you were up for it, and that you could call it off at any point. "Its completely up to you, just think about it." He told you.

And you did. Of course you wanted it, or rather him, but you knew most of these sort of relationships excluded feelings. Cliff hadnt thrown in the rules yet so you asked him about them, clarifying that you were still only pondering the option.

Cliff said to you that he just wanted to discuss where boundaries lied, as well as any thoughts about the arrangement. He mentioned a few other things like being honest, which was important, but he never said anything regarding avoiding any romanticism. So you agreed.

There was this little sliver of hope deep in your heart hoping that maybe he didnt forbid those kind of feelings because he reciprocated them. However you countered with yourself that he would have just asked you out if he did, since he wasnt one to play with a person's emotions.

You opened your mouth to bring up the topic in the car, but stopped yourself. The different ways you believed he would respond forced you to change your mind.

You noticed after the first few weeks of the arrangement that cliff had been acting a little bit different. A change like that had been expected in some way by you, but he just wasn't the same. And though you knew that you should talk to him about it, the tension was currently a little weighted. You didnt feel like adding to it by asking anything that you deemed momentarily 'unnecessary.'

After a couple of minutes he pulled into the driveway, parking the car on the frozen cement with caution. The heater had previously been blasting hot air into the cab of Cliff's car. That being so, once  you opened the door and stepped into the fresh air, a harsh chill immediately encased your entire body.

Cliff quickly grabbed some of the grocery bags from the back, giving you a head start getting to the front door. Once you were inside, cliff swung the door shut, placing the bags down before beginning to shed his basic winter layers.

While you took off your own jacket, he decided to tease you, he grabbed your sides, icy fingers clawing at your covered flesh. His actions caused you to shriek. He snickered at your reaction, which drew out a scoff from your lips. "Meanie" you commented quietly. Cliff only chuckled and shook his head, smiling.

Once the two of you discarded all of your snow-packed apparel, he informed you that he was gonna grab a shit ton of blankets and haul them into the living room after he put the groceries away. "We can do whatever afterward, I just wanna get you warmed up." He winked, nudging you before dissapearing into the hallway.

You smiled, even without any cozy blankets you could feel a little bit of warmth in your heart already.  Although he was only a freind, he took care of you, which you could do by yourself easily but you needed to feel loved, as your life had been all sorts of messed up.

Suddenly remembering that he was nothing more than that; a freind, you started spiraling again. You knew you needed to finally talk to him about his difference in mood toward you, except you were intimidated by all of the possible outcomes.

As soon as you started to feel a farmiliar burn in your face from holding your tears from the confusion and longing, he staggered into the living room before you. A massive pile of blankets and quilts were stacked high in his arms. He struggled to avoid dropping any, but some dispersed onto the hardwood floor.

Luckily that made you smile before you could cry. You tried to stiffle a giggle, however failing miserably. Once he stubbed his toe on the coffee table next to the couch, you knew that was the breaking point. You bursted out laughing while he hissed in pain.

Cliff pouted, dropping all the fabric onto the loveseat. He turned around and huffed. "You're kind of mean yourself there, sweetheart." He claimed, chuckling. You only beamed at him, posing as innocent.

Feeling quite generous afterwards, you assisted in gathering the blankets and stacking them on the  couch neatly. During your time spent on making the couch look nice, your mind nagged at you once again to ask him, but you ignored your own persistence.

Cliff soon heads to the kitchen to grab the snacks and junk you had picked out for the movie, insisting that you pick what to watch while he left you in the den.

Once you finished, you sat down in front of the coffee table and looked under the tv, finding his vhs tape collection. After you sifted through the different movies for a bit, Cliff brought in a large bowl of popcorn and another small bowl of candy, a couple of drinks inside since his hands were mostly full.

"So what did you pick?" He wondered out loud. You grinned and held up the shining. He groans, placing down the bowls. "How many times have we watched that in this room alone??" He teased you.

"I just really love it, theres Shelley Duvall too" you quipped back, ignoring his faux annoyance. "And to be fair, you almost begged me to pick the movie." Cliff nodded, snickering softly. You slid the tape into the vhs player, sitting back onto the couch as soon as the beginning ads start playing.

You were sitting a little ways away from cliff on the couch. He noticed and pulled you toward him, now sitting sideways. Your legs rested over the arm of the loveseat as you flipped some of the blankets onto yourself.

About half an hour into the movie you could feel a new tension build. It had started modestly, but soon it seemed to be intolerable. You turned your neck a little ways to look at cliff, whose eyes were glued onto the screen. Regardless, you could sense that he wss struggling to pay attention to the film.

You looked back, and were on the verge of speaking up when cliff opened his mouth. "I think we should call it off." He said. He couldnt see the the sudden shock that took over your face because he was still staring straight at the TV. There was no real emotion present in his voice when he told you that, which threw you off.

You knew that he was talking about the arramgement  but you wanted to be clear. Shifting in your spot, you asked him, your tone almost more bewildered than you were. "What do you mean call it off?"

"I mean I cant do this anymore." He claimed, finally looking toward you. He winced at your slight scowl. "Thats not a reason Cliff, you said that we had to be honest." He groaned at your reminder and huffed, putting a hand over his face.

He mumbled something, but you couldnt hear him cause he spoke so quietly. "What?" You asked. This time he spoke louder. "I didnt mean for it to happen!" He stated, which confused you.

"For what to happen?" you were confused, the movie continued to play in the background as you scoffed at him again.

He sighed "Im sorry" he said quietly. "What happened Cliff?" You huffed, getting a little tired of going back and a little concerned. "What did you do?"

"I love you." He says bluntly, he was unable to look you in the eye as he scrunched his face and stood up.

You sat on the couch, no words could explain how many emotions were trying to unscramble themselves in your brain, but the gears started turning so you tried. "Cliff I-" you sputtered. "Why were you apologising before?"

He raised an eyebrow and dropped his hands to his side, your sudden calmness unnerved him. "I thought that it was a basic kind of 'rule' in these kinds of...relationships" He raised an eyebrow.

"Well you never mentioned it." You told him. He thought back to when he suggested it and nodded. "I guess I didnt but I thought that you'd-" he began ro ramble again before you cut him off.

"I love you too, cliff." God, was that a great way to shut him up at first his expression was flat. Eventually he just stood and smiled like a little kid. He did nothing until you rolled your eyes and patted the couch. "Just come here, you dumbass," you chuckled and shook your head. He obliged, pulling you even closer once he sat down.

For a moment you two just looked at eachother admiringly. You had thought Cliff was at an absolute loss of words but he proved you wrong. "Can I kiss you?" He wondered out loud. You smiled and reached your hands to hold both sides of his face, bringing him forward and allowing him to reach your lips in a soft kiss.

You had kissed Cliff before, but this time it felt different. It didnt feel rushed or cloddish. It was sensual, and a little strange. You felt as if every weight had been lifted off of your shoulders. Butterflies started stirring in your stomach, which  made you feel giggly and lovesick.

Slowly, the kisses moved on to small touches, and though it had almost been a routine as well, this too felt different for you and cliff. It felt strange, but amazing both at once.

You broke away and tucked your head into the crook if his neck, littering small kisses and nips on his skin. Cliff groaned and made little sounds every once in a while, he smiled widely, basking in the moment.

Your tounge darted out and you licked over where you had nipped, smoothing over some of the purple marks you had sucked as well.

You kissed back up his jawline to his face, planting a singular kiss on his cheek before pulling away to gaze at him again. His eyes flutter open, his grin staying as it was as he sinks into the back cushions.

He holds you by the small of your back with both hands as you straddle him. Leaning forward, you hug him. "Can we just stay like this?" You asked, feeling no urgency for anything at the moment. Cliff agreed, smiling and kissing your cheek before rubbing your back, the light pressure making you sigh happily.

He held you close. It felt good, to finally be like that with him. The tension was long dissipated and he made it clear that he was only acting strange as to not scare you away with his confession.

The only occurence that disturbed your peaceful atmosphere being a playful popcorn fight, which started because of a small tiff about the movie neither of you remembered by the time it was over.

AGHHHHH idk how anybody writes anything so fast ive been working and procrastinating on working on this for probably four or five days😭

I really hope this was okay, thank youu<3

[sparklecareforrealjustice]

hey mods, whats the ship that you most hate or dislike? caroom, hemeruni, what ships?

I am stuck between two choices, the first is rather obvious. Carroom is a ship that is abuser x abuser and the entirety of kisswas "I loved him too" reveal came from the depths of Tartarus as it was new showed nor even implied once, in fact quite the opposite was implied before so It is completely an enigma where this ship came from and even more a mystery why KC though they would be a good pair. The second choice though is a bit more, controversial and much less obvious though. That being Barruni, allow me to explain. Uni has shown on multiple occasions that she does not respect Barry's boundaries about magic and even actively seems to intentionally use magic in front of him on occasions despite knowing that he dislikes her use of it, Uni has gotten away with far too much for me to believe that Barry would still actively engage in a proper relationship with her after all of this. I also fear that after all of this, KC wont even know how to do Barruni that well without horribly mischaracterizing them on both ends in a way that leaves all of their previous personality traits behind and just makes them previous husks of their former self. Thank you for the ask anon. - Mod Sunny

carroom. there's a post explaining why i hate it so much. abuser x abuser trope? fucking disgusting. plus, it's shitty writing of a cliche that doesn't even make proper sense to me. -🚬

personally, i don't have one ship i hate. it's a whole genre of ships - anything with side characters in it. on the wayback machine, on the faq for the site, we're told some of the official ships are kills x shortnick, jean x orange, and caroline x kiki. but (obviously except for caroline), what do we know about these characters in order to ship them? we know maybe a sentence or two worth's of information about them! that's not enough!!! even with the more popular small ships that are also canon: mood x rem, pinata x funfetti, mel x cyn, jay x caroline... we get scraps of interaction and ship moments in the comic, if anything at all (seriously, jay x caroline? where is that coming from? they're two major characters but there's still nothing!) i wish characters were elaborated on more before they're shipped, which is also why i don't understand any ships with the chunklings. they've been here a while but we don't know anything about them. and yes, before anyone asks, this does apply to polly as well. they're a major comet parent, and yet... there's nothing actually there. -mod polly 🧊

personally i agree with mod sunny with carroom tho i dont have much else to commentate as the shipping discourse doesnt interest me too much as i feel more frustration at the handling of some characters sexualities and romantic preferences - uni

Carroom. It's just romanticized Stockholm syndrome and I fucking HATE that kc seems to romanticize the worst shit ever. -🧪

I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT ELSE TO ADD THAT SOMEONE ELSE HAS ALREADY SAID BUT IT'S CARROOM. WE ALL HATE CARROOM IN THIS HOUSE. -🐁🩸

I wouldn’t mention Hemeruni if I were you- BESIDES that! Uh.. Camera is probably going to be my pick, mostly because it just… doesn’t make sense to me! My brain ain’t big, but I know a weird ship when I see one! Of course time is still involved with deciding those factors… but right now? Camera is a no go. -mod hemmy

[yeah-ima-nerd]

I DONT EVER WANNA FREAKING HEAR "RiSe sPlIntEr iS suCh A bAd ChaRaCter. HeS sO wEak.' EVER AGAIN AFTER SEASON 2'S FINALE

**SPOILERS AHEAD**

because my heart is with this man

now sure, people have made the argument that after they got mutated, splinter was a sorry excuse for a father and while I don't want to agree with that, there is some truth.

You see, this man has been through hell and back (sure many characters have been through trauma, however I make the argument that he is one of the few accurate aftermath result) Where do I start? His mother DISAPPEARED FOREVER in front of his eyes and also shown that he had no father either, which adds another peice of trauma to the list. He was raised by his grandfather only and seems that the truama from that occasion also stuck with him throughout his teenage years. (though that could be chalked down to being a normal teenager) After becoming Lou jitsu he finally felt comfortable, as a way for escapism.

if we skip to present splinter, he obviously feels responsible for every time his sons get hurt or mentally hurt. Why? Because he blames himself for never listening to his grandfather. He will do ANYTHING to make sure his boys don't make the same mistakes that he did, which is why he keeps a close eye on Leo whom he sees himself the most. Splinters past trauma continues however, as he found the "love of his life" which is assumed that big Mama and Yoshi dates for around 14 years, which is A LONG time. Which then prompted him to propose to her, then revealing the one he loved dearly, was a very devious SPIDER CREATURE WHO KIDNAPS HIM AND FORCES HIM TO FIGHT IN THE BATTLE NEXUS.And of course we don't know if big Mama actually ever loved Lou jitsu for real but then we can assume they did if they ended up dating for 14 years. At that point my boy was completely broken, and after years of fighting he finally retired his ways. At peace with himself, he'd then go on to meet baron DRAXUM who definitely did not have his best intentions at heart. Which of course, Is when the turtles were born. Which, since big Mama, were the only things he felt love for in quite some time. After his mutation, all was lost, he was homeless and all his fame and fortune were gone, all gone. Again, the only thing ever keeping him at bay was the turtles. now at this point around Mikey's 13th birthday, was when he started slowing down, (depression) But also felt as if his sons wouldn't need him anymore. But does feel remorseful for every time his son's get in trouble. Though later on... He'd go through some Zuko level character development. Showing an honorable side to the traumatized rat man, As well as realizing his destiny and Caring so much for his boys.

He deserves better.

[ridiasfangirlings]

fushimi having "not beef cuz i dont care about him i just hate him but its not because of anything" with bandou because he killed fushimi on a game in front of yata

I’m just imagining Fushimi finding ways to quietly and sneakily fuck up Bandou’s life and poor Bandou is like ‘what did I do??’. Like Yata invites Fushimi to join him playing some video game with Homra, Fushimi doesn’t really want to but Yata’s so excited and Fushimi did say he would try to get along with Yata’s clan so he agrees. He figures at least he can show off how much better he is at this than all those losers from Homra, like Yata keeps chatting about how good Saruhiko always is with video games and he can’t wait to see how well Fushimi does and Fushimi is possibly maybe a little bit looking forward to Yata calling him cool with shining eyes. And then they start playing… and Fushimi gets taken out like two minutes in by a sniper shot from Bandou. Bandou is all laughing over the voice chat like ha showed you guys, bragging about how skilled he is at this while Yata’s all oh yeah we’ll get you next time. Fushimi is utterly silent except for a single tongue click.

The next day Bandou logs into one of his gaming accounts to find he’s been hacked, his profile name was changed to ‘Sunglasses Loser’ and all his achievements have been wiped. He has no idea who did it but whoever it was must have been skilled because this guy left no traces behind. Yata overhears that and somewhere deep in his mind he has a moment of ‘Could it have been…? Nah, no way that guy cares this much about getting killed in a game.’ And then Bandou receives what looks to be a perfectly legit email that infects his entire PC with an untraceable virus and he has to do a full wipe and restore. Later he’s in the middle of playing a game tournament when his character freezes and nothing Bandou can do will get it to move, Bandou doesn’t know if he’s being hacked again or what, and a low level newbie sniper with a completely boring, uncustomized character takes him out. Homra gets called out to deal with a Strain and Bandou thinks at least this will get him away from his string of bad luck for a bit, only for S4 to ‘accidentally’ send the Strain in his direction (they swear they didn’t know he was over there, he didn’t show up on the map they had of everyone’s position on their PDAs) and now he has a cactus growing out of his head for the next two days. 

Bandou’s at the bar bemoaning his fate, wondering who he pissed off, as Fushimi comes to pick up Yata to go drinking. Kusanagi slides Fushimi a water and quietly asks if Fushimi is mad at Bandou for some reason, Fushimi has no idea what he’s talking about. Later even Yata’s like you know that character Bandou described as being really new looking and plain, isn’t that like what you used to use in jungle and Fushimi just shrugs, he doesn’t like that guy but why would he want to waste his time making a worthless person’s day even worse. Yata’s like that’s kinda harsh but I guess it’s true, there’s no reason why you’d be mad at him, totally oblivious as Fushimi adds that they should play video games again with Homra some time, Fushimi’s been practicing.

[pommunist]

(Désolée pour le pavé, j'avais plus de choses à dire que je pensais)

I mean, I understand that the long anon wants to trust Q and the QSMP, because I truly think that we ALL want it to get better.

But I think our vision for "making things right" is just different.

Anon seems mostly focused on the people who are still in the project and how they're changing it for the better (i assume, for future employees) , while we tend to focus on the people who were kicked out and were never contacted again.

Us pointing out that the ex admins have been ghosted for 2 months is not "detail chasing" or "talking about past mistreatment" It's literally ongoing. And it is still mistreatment.

Maybe not everyone sees it that way, I guess. I'm sure some people think they're being impatient, or they don't deserve to be talked to because they're not in the project anymore, or even consider the ex employees newfound "fame" to be at their advantage, somehow. But even so, it doesn't change the fact that none of the whistle-blowers have seen any steps taken to compensate them, or even hear them, for the months of free labor and abuse. At least, as of now.

After all, the only promise Quackity made is that he'll make things right for the people working in Qstudio in the future. So far, he said nothing about the ex employees except vagueposting about "people who want to destroy the project".

We're allowed to be skeptic and even critical about how this is all handled. And we're allowed to express said skepticism online, where we can interact with others about it. Just like anon is allowed to express their support and trust in QStudio.

The problem comes, as usual, from parasocials of all extremes sending hate to everyone involved. And I do agree that this whole thing being public is mostly to blame for that.

I do think it's too bad that it didn't happen privately, but now, it's out, and the silver lining is that it allowed other ex employees to make their mistreatment heard without feeling like they're insane for it. After all, it's been months, and only now do we hear anything. It shows that the mental pressure to "dont talk to any of your colleagues and lay low or else" really stopped people from facing their abuse with the gravity it deserved.

And honestly, seeing how they're handling it rn, I doubt that Qstudio would have taken the right steps if it had been done 100% privately.

Like, maybe we're missing some legal context here, but why did Qstudio not explicitly ask for the ex-employees' testimonies yet? Even now, with a literal union repeatedly advising them to do so, they're not doing it.

They could make a separate email adress, share it privately to all ex employees and let them send their testimonies there. They dont have to acknowledge everything immediately. They dont have to say "we will solve this in one week". But ghosting such a large chunk of the people who made your project work and only allowing them to either completely shut up or go public is... a choice. So yeah, maybe going public was necessary for them to be heard. Idk. I'm just hoping things will get better soon on that front.

Agree with everything here so not much to add except maybe :

Really I think a lot of people are looking at it like : it’s okay things will be better starting now ! While forgetting that everything that happened before still need to be adresses and solved. Not even an opinion, as this can very well be a legal matter and a serious one at that. Can’t just go "oops sorry you guys were mistreated…Anyway we’ll move on without you towards better things" that’s not how it works 😵‍💫

And for the "it should have happened privately" argument I can’t anymore because yes, ideally this is how it would have gone down. But that’s not how it went, let’s move on and more importantly let’s not blame people who talked about it, as they would have been within their right to do so even if it was done with the primary intent to expose everything. Also "it should’ve blablabla" well Qstudios should have gotten their shit together from day one and yet ! What ifs will get us nowhere.

(Et t’inquiète pour le pavé, on a vu pire ici 😭)

[tremorsmackenzie]

i see a lot of talk going around about how the team were terrible to daisy after 5x14 and one person even said that it was basically a darvo situation, and i want to add my opinion to the pile, cause i disagree with that a lot. i also generally have a problem with how people tend to defend their favourite to the absolute while villainizing almost every other character in this discourse. they all deserve equal amounts of empathy.

lets get a few disclaimers out of the way first: from my perspective, what happened wasnt anyones fault, they were all victims in this situation. fitz cant be blamed for having a psychic split, daisy had every right and more to react the way that she did, thats not even a discussion. it was also just absolutely the right decision, fitz wasnt trustworthy anymore after that. he absolutely did care about what he did though, he mentioned how he was scared by how he still thought he did the right thing at least twice. thats not the same thing as being horrified at what he did exactly, but the reasons for his split didnt go away just because it happened, and this is about as close as you can get in this situation i think. i also think his whole " i didnt have a choice" shtick was more about him trying to make sense of what happened rather than trying to deflect blame, because he generally lacks empathy for other people a bit and getting defensive and not considering whether that is appropriate right now is perfectly in character for him (still terrible on his part despite all that though, and this is probably where the darvo thing comes from as far as it concerns him). now:

the way i see the aftermath of that episode is that with everything still happening, coulson gone and possibly (definitley, its hydra) being tortured for intel, the end of the world still fast approaching, and daisy still being convinced its somehow gonna be her fault (especially after having her powers restored), none of them could allow themselves to break right now. and crucially: noone blamed daisy for the way she reacted or attacked her for it. may thought she wasnt ready for coulsons job after literally just being tortured, and she was right about that, that was way too much pressure to put on her after that (despite that, i still think daisy did a good job, but she shouldnt have had to). mack agreed with daisy fully. simmons was definitley not okay anymore after what happened and acted increasingly irrationally. she just watched her husband torture her best friend while being held at gunpoint by a robot he programmed, after which daisy had no time to talk to her and fitz was locked in a cell and disillusioned about who he was. she was essentially alone to deal with the situation.

it doesnt excuse what she did, but i also dont think she wouldve acted the way she did if she was fully sane at that point. i mean, she risked swallowing literal acid because she thought she was invincible due to knowing she makes it past the worlds destruction. before this, she was very, starkly different. those are not the actions of someone whos secretly a sociopath like many regularly accuse her of being, theyre the actions of someone who has been pushed completely past their breaking point. as for yoyo, she lost her goddamn arms and was absolutely convinced that daisys path was going to lead to the entire worlds destruction. and that was what she was mad at daisy about.

this was the entire tragedy of that situation: its not a question of fault. they all acted terribly towards each other, and they all had good reasons for it, even if they were being unfair or vicious. it just happened.

so they all pushed what fitz did aside for the moment to focus on the mission, but its literally the main factor of what drove the team apart for the rest of the season, because daisy was focused on her interpretation of the prophecy and wasnt gonna trust fitz or anything he said anymore, simmons and yoyo were convinced he was right and felt daisy wasnt listening to them, and then they managed to scrape themselves back together as a team, just barely, and saved the world, losing both coulson and fitz in the process. in my headcanon the team patched up most of their differences after 5x22, based on how it ended, flashbacks and mentions from season 6 as well as the team being friendly with each other again, and the fact that this show isnt the kind to just ignore events like this, if things are radically different between seasons its safe to assume that stuff happened off screen, not that the writers were lazy. losing two members of their shared family probably also provided them with some perspective and reminded them of how much they all mean to one another.

and this hit all of them very hard, and they all dealt with it in their own way without involving the others. all of them, not just daisy. mack focused on his job 100%, may and elena helped him, simmons went to space to find fitz and daisy came with her because everything reminded her of coulson and theyre each others best friend. when they all came back together, they had managed to somewhat move on from what happened and probably werent to keen on bringing it up again. i mean we saw how sarge had them all bent out of shape because he had coulsons face. they were not over it. nevermind the fact that they had another alien invasion on their hands at the time.