#dont know if others actually interest in this but feel worth say even if it give just one person hope

[stories-by-starlight]

Shout-out this stranger met for while recent, who saw we were AAC user and for whole time:

• made sure we not talked over in conversation

• stopped others from skip over us, and didn’t let them rush us either

• said any words AAC was say wrong verbally for us after we express frustration with that

• didn’t touch our device once or look at screen while using AAC (they were only person who didn’t)

• made sure we comfortable and accommodated whole time was with them

And don’t think any this was even big deal to them. This was first time they even saw AAC, but they still made sure were accommodated for it. Don’t think they realize how much meant to us, and it meant everything to us. To be include and supported so much by total stranger who we would never see again.

Gave us lot hope. Fact that there people like that out there. And wanted put all thoughts that couldn’t put into words when with person here.

Want other AAC users know that there people like that out there, and that there hope.

Edit: Notice this post a lot of people’s first time hear about AAC, want be clear that this person only start say words out loud for us after we made clear that that was something we okay with. Please don’t assume other AAC users want others correct words AAC pronounce different, because many don’t. Every AAC user different person with different preference, please don’t take ours as universal rule.

[lonelyquail]

ok so while my ds is getting sand poured into it at alarming rates I'm thinking about how jrpgs in specific have a really weird desync with How Important Death Is. like some address it better than others but it very frequently happens where if you take a step back youll go "am I wild or is everybody just like, Really down with murder in this game". and consequences for said murder, especially in a characterization sense but even just actual physical consequences, don't really happen? unless it's a vehicle for conflict but like. when it is a vehicle for conflict it feels weird because why are These Guys actually taking the fact we killed somebody in broad daylight seriously and coming after us for it while all the other npcs and even the main party took it like it was another saturday evening

see I Think where the issue lies is in the fact that everything is in its own little world when you're in a battle? like. when you fight an enemy and you get leather out of it it's seen as something the enemy Drops and not. their hide. when you defeat a character in a battle it does just feel like you Defeated them. unless there's dialogue afterwards that says otherwise you don't even mentally assume you killed em you just wounded them enough to make them flee or dissolve or whatever. and it's Weird to just. have that assumption there because for a lot of games it really isn't clear if you're killing them or defeating them !!

that last point is extra important when you have the specific brand of Skittish Hero / Noble Hero Who Doesn't Kill People / Rational Hero In Way Over Their Head or whatever where you really don't think they Would kill a guy just to get them out of the way. in that case it's REALLY weird because it's hardly brought up. even if it Is brought up that that guy Sure Did Die the mc doesn't tend to actually have a reaction ??? and I don't know why this is ???? like Any written reaction would be more interesting than nothing even if the guy doesn't have a full on crisis about taking another life having them go "oh shit, The Consequences" would be nice. really anything except (oh cool we can advance the plot now).

I will also mention that Some deaths do matter plot wise but very frequently what makes them matter is how much of it is linked to an in game battle I think. if your mc just finishes a fight and comes back to the overworld and the guy's Disappeared or Dissolved or whatever it means they don't matter. if the guy's still around after the fight it means it's more significant, especially if they're still alive but wounded or Really Shaken Up. because this clears up the indistinguishable line between if a battle is lethal or not and if a character decides to deal a finishing blow now it's Way more telling of their character. even though this is basically the same thing that happened in the (killed In A Battle) scenario. just with more dialogue. I will also mention that the person who deals the finishing blow is Rarely Ever that good hearted protagonist and often they'll even go :0 at somebody else committing a murder despite them instigating and helping murder quite a few people. just. In Battle. so it's less bad. I guess.

this is leaving out the fact that in party deaths are often a Major Major Blow because like. ok that's fair. that's A Guy You Knew that's understandable. anyway I don't really know where I'm going with this I just think it's interesting how in these types of games death can swap from not mattering at all to mattering a Lot and if u don't think about it too hard u don't even question it. I'll probably be putting some examples in the tags idk

[floorpancakes]

i do actually tweet about other things but lately ive just posted all my holic thoughts here. not out of shame i just need the space. everyone over on tweeter knows im an embarrassing holicinator over there already LMAOO

[toastsnaffler]

man. getting a little sick of being everyones 15th option for everything. when is it my turn to be someone's first choice :^[

[darby-rowe]

୨⎯ "inches of snow" ⎯୧

young!coriolanus snow ☓ fem!reader summary your boyfriend, coriolanus snow, joins you and your family for christmas dinner, but of course it's nothing short of an insufferable experience. but don't worry, because coryo is there to take care of you!

18+ | nsfw | mdni word count 2,298 cw modern au, coryo & reader are in grad school, it's christmas!!, mentions of food, implied body shaming by family, uh oh grandma and grandpa are being bigoted again, bathroom sex, mirror sex, anal, praise, degradation, sex on the bathroom sink, it's a very anal christmas, coryo has a big dick, ooc(?) coryo, y/n usage, petnames, unprotected sex, spit play, cum play, dirty talk notes i know the title is corny as fuck LMFAO but it made me giggle. also imagine reader in ellen griswold's outift from national lampoon's christmas vacation like the one w the blouse and the green skirt bc mmmmm that fit is FIRE. this fic was slightly based off of this post bc i thought it was just too hot to ignore. this is also NOT proofread so any mistakes you find in this fic... dont talk about it

Sitting down at the pleasantly decorated dining room table, your mother insisted on saying grace before you and the rest of your family could dig in on the splendid feast you and the rest of the women in your family worked so hard on. Your mouth watered at the thought of savoring the sweet potato casserole, the baked macaroni and cheese, the ham, everything at the table was extremely decadent. And it was all displayed out in front of you, and right under your nose.

You were a bit greedy, you had to admit, as your hands were the first to get a generous scoop of the fluffy mashed potatoes, earning a scoff from your ever-so lovely paternal grandmother. Say something, you old bat, you thought to yourself, but a pleasant hand came running to rescue you from your angry thoughts. A slight squeeze on your left thigh made you blush, and you turned your head to grin at your lovely boyfriend, Coriolanus Snow. He gave you a reassuring nod, and you went back to indulging in your Christmas feast.

“So, Y/N,” your grandmother piped up, pretentiously swishing her glass of wine. “Anything interesting as of late?”

You swallowed your forkful of mashed potatoes and peas. “My third year of med school is kicking my butt,” you said, trying to lighten the hostility between you and your grandmother. “I’m definitely finding myself to have less and less free time–”

“And how do you feel about that?” your grandmother interjected right in the middle of your response, causing your brows to furrow. Her attention was now fully on Coriolanus, which you turned your head to see what his response would be.

Coriolanus huffed amusingly. “I don’t necessarily have an opinion on it,” he said. “I am also quite busy with my master’s degree. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, or however that saying goes,”

“We’re just busy little bees,” you said in a light manner, albeit a bit awkwardly. “It’ll all be worth it in the end. All this hard work will pay off,”

Your grandfather motioned his glass towards Coriolanus. “Busy little bees, eh? Bet it’s harder on you than her,” This statement made you nearly choke on your champagne. The crudeness of that man! Oh, if you didn’t know any better, you would reach across the table and slap the wrinkles off that smug face–

“It’s actually not really that hard to endure,” Coriolanus spoke up. “We both know we’ll see each other again after our busy spells and that thought keeps us going,”

You smiled bitterly at your grandfather. “Exactly,”

The table got quiet after that, and you spent a good few minutes awkwardly sipping your champagne and eating your generous plate. You felt your appetite unfortunately begin to dissipate as the unpleasantness of the evening began sinking underneath your skin.

“You know, mother,” your father chimed in. “My wife and I both met during our residency, and you know firsthand exactly how busy I was during that time. The 100 hour work weeks, the skills labs, the exams, my boards. It was hard! But my beloved and I made it through, and I’m sure Y/N and Coryo will also make it,”

“I just don’t see the need in investing this much time in such a demanding career when your husband is already planning on pursuing a career that would help the both of you,” grandmother said to you, making your face contort into one of immense displeasure.

“Coryo is not my husband, first off,” you retorted. “At least not yet, but I’m also not going to be a stay-at-home mom who spends her days dealing with the dog, the baby, and the garden. I want a fulfilling career, too! I mean, don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against stay-at-home mothers, but that life is not for me,”

“Why not?” grandmother knitted her eyebrows together. “Look at you, dear, with that revealing blouse and that pretty face, you don’t need to be pushing yourself like this,”

“Oh my god!” you cried, throwing your hands up. You finally decided you had enough, and with bitterness deep within your soul, you abruptly pushed your chair away from the table and stormed off.

“Watch your mouth, young lady!” your grandmother called out after you. “You weren’t excused!”

“I’m twenty-five years old, grandma, I can excuse myself,” you replied angrily as you traversed upstairs, your heels clicking on the hardwood material.

Slamming the door to the bathroom, you made your way to the bathtub where you sat down on the cold tiles with your knees folded up against your chest. You buried your face in your hands as you breathed in and out. In… and out…

God, you really hated your father’s parents. So judgy and crude, you were only left to wonder why they kept getting invited over to these dinners. Your parents knew how they chastised you, and even with their efforts to put a stop to their bigoted comments, they just kept going and going and going.

You were proud of yourself. You were proud of the life you were building for yourself. Sure, you still had eight years of school left, but at the end of the road you were going to be a kick-ass trauma surgeon. And Coryo was on the fast track to earning his master’s in political science. Soon, he would be running for congress, and the two of you would be unstoppable.

But here you were, practicing breathing exercises on the cold tiles of your parents’ bathroom. You needed to move out of there. Anywhere but there.

Your thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door and the sweet sound of a familiar voice on the other side. Coriolanus, looking as handsome as ever as he gently let himself into the bathroom, joining you on the floor.

“Hey, bunny,” he cooed, taking your hands in his. “Are you okay?”

You grinned dreamily. “Now that you’re here,” this remark elicited a chuckle from Coriolanus, which made you swoon. “Listen, I have to apologize for my family,”

Coriolanus shook his head. “There’s no need to apologize,” he reassured. “You do not have to say anything. You’re not responsible for their actions, not now, not anytime,” he took your hand and kissed the back of it. “Now, how may I make my sweet girl feel better?”

It didn’t take long before the two of you were on each other like two cannibals competing to see who ripped off the other’s flesh first. Your lips crashed and molded into each other as your warm, wet tongues shoved down each other’s throats in desperate attempts to taste the other’s mouths. Coriolanus tasted like the champagne you planned on indulging yourself with later that night, feeling your mind buzz on the remnants of the alcohol. It ignited your nerves on fire.

It took your breath away when Coriolanus spun you around and pressed you against the bathroom sink, forced to look at the reflection. “Look at you, baby,” he panted, his lips red and swollen from the intense kiss he shared with you just seconds ago. “So fuckin’ pretty and fuckable. I’ll take care of you, don’t worry,”

You looked at your reflection in the mirror, your eyes scanning the pathetic, needy look on your face. You gasped slightly as Coriolanus grabbed your jaw, preventing you from looking away. “I want you to look while I fuck you,” he said, pressing his hardened bulge into your backside which made your eyes slightly roll back into your head. “I know that pussy of yours is throbbing for me, hm? Is it, bunny?”

You opened your eyes and looked at the blush that was beginning to appear on your cheeks. “Mmm’yes,” you whined. “Want you so bad, please. But we have to be quiet. Can’t let my family hear us,”

Before you could say anything else, Coriolanus’s hand slapped onto your mouth making your gasps and breaths all muffled. “There’s a solution for you, my dove,” he murmured into your ear. “Now, here’s what I’m going to do: I’m going to remove my hand and pull up that pretty little skirt of yours. Then, I’m going take off your panties, then fuck you in the ass. Am I clear?”

You and Coriolanus have indulged in anal before. It wasn’t a common occurrence, but it surely wasn’t unwelcome. Your pussy throbbed with anticipation at the thought of Coryo’s throbbing, hard cock in your tight asshole. You nodded, and he removed his hand from your mouth and cupped it in front of your lips. “Spit in my hand,” he ordered, and you drooled a generous amount of saliva into the palm of his hand.

You could hear his wet hand stroke himself in prep to enter you. With your skirt hiked up and your panties gone, you made sure to relax and breathe as you felt Coriolanus push the tip of his cock into your ass. Your efforts to stay quiet flew out the window as a primal, low groan escaped your throat as your ass became full of his dick.

“Fuuuck…” you groaned, hiking your leg up on the bathroom sink to allow Coriolanus to go deeper. God, it felt so fucking good having his dick deep in your ass. So dirty, and so fucking hot.

In a matter of moments, Coriolanus was thrusting his hips hard and deep inside you, making your mouth fall open in a silent cry of pleasure. You resorted to quiet curses and panting to help you express how good you were feeling in that moment. Goosebumps erupted on your skin. There was a slight sting to being penetrated in the ass, but it wasn’t painful to you. In fact, it only added to the overwhelming pleasure building in your nether regions.

“Such a tight fuckin’ ass,” Coriolanus murmured, grabbing your jaw once again. “Look at you, bunny, so fuckin’ needy for this cock in your ass, yeah?”

You had to be quiet. You needed too. But by god, the sound of Coriolanus speaking pure filth in your ears was insatiable. “Yes,” you growled through gritted teeth, your eyes flicking between your face and Coriolanus’s. “Fuckin’ love your cock in my ass, fuck,”

“Such a naughty girl,” he teased, taking a look down to watch his dick pump in and out of your hole. The sound of your panting and groaning mixed with Coriolanus’s grunts, slightly echoing throughout the bathroom.

You whined as you felt him withdraw from your hole, only for him to spin you around once again and help you on top of the bathroom counter. You willingly spread your legs and watched as Coriolanus re-entered your ass before withdrawing completely once more, and then he repeated these actions again, and again, and again.

“Stop teasing,” you whined, reaching a hand down to play with your pussy only for Coriolanus to swat your hand away, much to your dismay.

Coriolanus pinned both of your hands behind your back. “No touching. You’re going to come from my cock in your ass or you won’t come at all,”

You nodded obediently, your body rocking back and forth in time with his thrusts. You could feel your pussy drooling its juices from how unbelievably aroused you were. It was almost uncomfortable how badly your clit ached to be touched, but you wanted to obey your boyfriend’s orders, so you held back.

“My naughty bunny,” Coriolanus moaned. “Your ass is so tight around my cock. Feels so good. You’re making me feel so – fuck – so fucking good,”

Your mouth fell open as your panting grew more frequent. “Yes, fuck my ass,” you whispered. “Make me come from my ass, baby, please,”

“Are you close, love?”

“Yes, yes – fuck,” you threw your head back as moans threatened to escape your throat, your pleasure only heightened as Coriolanus pressed open-mouthed kisses all along your neck. You were about to come undone from just having his cock in your ass, and it was going to feel so, so good.

“Coming,” you mewled, your legs beginning to shake and the familiar feeling of an itching pulsation deep within your pussy. “Oh god, I’m coming from my ass. Fuck… fuck…!”

In an explosion of pleasure that made you see stars, your orgasm hit you like a truck as your juices gushed out of your pussy. You squeezed your eyes shut and gritted your teeth as it took every fiber of your being to not scream out in pure ecstasy. You continued to squirt all over yourself and Coriolanus’s cock. There was no doubt in your mind that your skirt was ruined.

Coriolanus withdrew from your hole to pump on his own cock until thick, white ropes hit your hole. The sound of his moans and groans pleasantly filled your ears. Your legs were still shaking, and you felt your breath nearly get knocked out of your lungs as you felt his shaft re-enter your ass, fucking his cum into you.

It took a good five minutes before the haze of your orgasm left your brain and you were able to think clearly again. You still sat on the kitchen counter as Coriolanus softly kissed your lips, praising you and telling you how good of a job you did.

“I love you,” you mumbled against his lips, holding his face with your hands.

You felt Coriolanus’s lips tug into a smile. “I know you do, my dove,”

It impressed you how well you cleaned yourself up as you prepared to join your family once again, but as you opened the door of the bathroom, your blood ran cold as you found your older sister waiting outside with a disappointed look on her face.

“Really?” she asked. “During dinner?”

God damnit.

don't be shy, let's talk. ♡

[drdemonprince]

What if your unmasked self is unacceptable even to other autistics? I feel like if I don't carefully curate myself I'm too weird and annoying to sustain friendships even with other weirdos. This thing where unmasking makes people like you more because it's more ~authentic~ just hasn't been true for me and it makes me really sad.

Well, what does "weird" and "annoying" mean in this case? In unmaskers I frequently see a lot of understandable social trauma playing out in, let's just say, not the most socially effective of ways at times. No longer mindreading and people pleasing and fawning is all to the good; becoming completely unfiltered while still harboring a ton of deep-seated fear of abandonment and then spilling it out all over people will understandably drive them away. No longer faking emotions and tone of voice preserves energy and helps us feel more genuine, but never putting any energy into trying to understand a friend's interests or emotions will kill a friendship.

There is a messy counterbalancing that has to occur for many unmaskers; at first we focus on never doing anything false and allowing our unbridled selves to roam free -- and then we often recognize that we will need certain self-advocacy, listening, communication, and even diplomacy skills to actually relate to other people, even while remaining true to who we are.

It's normal for the unmasking process to initially seem like it's making you harder to love, more annoying, more bizzaree -- that's a necessary corrective to having previously aimed to make yourself unremarkable or widely liked.

But if you find yourself repeatedly socially alienating even out and proud neurodivergent people, it may be worth asking whether you are taking actions that are pushing them away. Things like interrupting people when they are trying to open up to you, invalidating their feelings, seeking reassurances that no other person can provide, not interacting, self-victimizing, just generally hurtful interpersonal stuff that us traumatized folks sometimes do even in community with one another. If this is the case, you will have to work on accepting the feedback when people are kind enough to tell you that you're bothering them or disrespecting them -- it is not the end of the world, it is a habit you can notice and correct.

Or you might just still be withdrawing and inhibiting very hard, and doing self-protective things that convey to others that they should give you a wide berth. Lots of unmaskers give off really strong "dont talk to me dont come up to me i feel socially unsafe right now" vibes that are completely honest and authentic to where they are at the moment, even if they wish they could seem more welcoming. Please give yourself some grace to feel all that if that's what it is.

No one is too weird or too annoying to make friends. But you might need to find the people who are weird enough and mad enough and disabled enough for you. Alternatively, you might have some interpersonal baggage that affects how you treat others you still need to work on. Or your internalized disability stigma might just be telling you that youre being too much when youre barely taking up social space at all.

You know your pattern of experiences and the feedback others have given you, so hopefully you can sort out what is currently missing in your social life based on that and some reflection and more testing. Good luck and let me know what you figure out.

[plutonianeris]

ᴘɪᴄᴋ ᴀ ᴄᴀʀᴅ: accepting where people see you as the villain ⛓𓌹*♰*𓌺⛓

this is a general reading & for entertainment purposes only, take what resonates and leave what doesn't. scroll through the images & choose based on your inner guidance and gut feeling. 🖤

♱☾pile one☽

sometimes it feels like you can never win because one way or another, theres always someone criticizing you. People are nervous around you and its not necessarily anything you do. I got a lot of scorpio and plutonian energy in my cards/ the oracles. People in your daily life make you seem like the villain because either 1) you don't share too much of you and they are craving for access or 2) you are equally as suspicious of them. Regardless, people can be kind of intimidated of you (but never publically admit it, more like hide it behind shady comments). lol the lyrics of the song playing right now in the background "make everyone hate me if that makes you feel better, your girl talks shit about me just to feel better" as you keep climbing up in your career/ reputation youre going to feel like a lot of more people are judging you. Accept that you cant control that. And if it makes you feel any better, it is envy/ hate but its to hide some jealousy and even some admiration as well.

♡‧₊˚🕸 TIP JAR ‹𝟹 ∙ 🕷

♱☾pile two☽

I heard "theres just no way in hell that this is all on me" the people you live with/ family (and in your hometown) could see you as the villain in those moments you are trying to express your emotions. You could get called being too "emotional" I heard "crybaby" or maybe even being called a hothead & impulsive when you try to talk to your loved ones about how you feel. You could be known for having a short temper or being very emotional (like the type to cry after seeing someone in pain or reading a sad news article). In reality, people close to you can get irritated with how emotionally intelligent you are. When you're angry/ upset about something your'e always determined to do something about it, and you start off by allowing yourself to feel your feelings. Accept that some people dont want to make room for you needs/ emotions. But then know when its time to refuse to give people more access to your energy and make sure you are meeting ur own needs. I just heard "I am worth more than these poor experiences you are trying to give to me"

♡‧₊˚🕸 TIP JAR ‹𝟹 ∙ 🕷

♱☾pile three☽

you could find that people in your neighborhood, apartment complex, or even the school you go to tend to turn you into the villain on the forms you communicate/ ask questions/ express yourself intellectual point of view. If you have siblings you could find that you get into frequent fights or bicker a lot. Youre eager to learn new things and that could throw other people off as you rush past them, ready to know more about the world. this pile reminds me of a curious child lol touching the "dont touch" sign. Out of all the piles this one feels more playful. Its like people suck their teeth and roll their eyes but youre so resilient. you bounce back in a way that feels so efortless that they dont stay too mad. its like even the people that see you as "the villian" at times are still secretly rooting for you? idk lol this pile was weird but also kind of endearing. Again, it reminds me of the way a child falls and quickly gets back up. Even if people judge you, you know that you have to keep it pushing. I just heard "in 5 years... shit, in 5 weeks none of this bs is gonna matter"

♡‧₊˚🕸 TIP JAR ‹𝟹 ∙ 🕷

♱☾pile four☽

people you get into close relationships with (friends, but especially lovers or even your crushes) can make you the villain for your "eccentricity." this pile gave off big Aquarius energty (it reminds me of those with aspects between venus and uranus). lol like your beauty and ways of being are very unique or quirky. honestly, those qualities (your forms of dress, taste in music, the weird things you say, random facts u know) are actually what makes people interested in you and start crushing on you. but then at the same time they judge you for not conforming to societal norms. It's like "I think you are unique and brave, but god cant you just be normal sometimes?" thats annoying! My advice to you is don't EVER let people treat you as if spending time with you was a burden and don't let people pick and choose when to hang out with you. watch out for when you have big groups of friends, you could find that 1 or 2 could be hating behind your back. You always stand out in the crowd and sometimes that leaves insecure people with a sour taste in their mouth. You could be someone that has a different religion/ ethnicity/ background in comparison from the rest of your peers (whether it be at school or work). lol alien superstar is playing in the background rn "don't ever waste your time trying to compete with me... no one else in this world can think like me'

♡‧₊˚🕸 TIP JAR ‹𝟹 ∙ 🕷

© plutonianeris🕸️🕷️

[anonzentimes]

You're one of my favorite people on here, I love komaeda so much, oh my god

infodump about whatever you want about komaeda NOW!! (if you want, you dont actually have to)

RAGGG!!!!! you're so so sweet oh my gosh ❤️❤️ Sure i'll talk about komaeda! I'll just say what I've been thinking about specifically today.

I was thinking about the fact that Nagito can suppress sides of him today, when he needs to he's able to suppress some of his personality for people. I think the reason Nagito is "normal," before his freakout is not only for the plot twist but because he's trying to make a good impression for Hajime. And once he's even more interested in Hajime he wants his attention, He's always by his side at any chance he gets. I think Hajime just generally stood out to him because he felt a connection with him on a spiritual level and acted upon his curiosity. Why would he be the only one to stay behind and wake up Hajime otherwise? I think he had the gut instinct I do when I feel as if I need to talk to somebody who interests me.

His "facade," is sort of like how when you meet new people and you're not entirely showing your true self fully yet, I think he does that. He's able to suppress parts of himself for other people.

Nagito is always wanting Hajime's attention, he respects his personal space and beliefs but mostly wants to be around him. He's also VERY observant, even when he doesn't understand social cues sometimes his ability to observe others is a big factor about him. He observes Hajime a lot.

Which is honestly weird, isn't he afraid of getting close to people? He usually avoids his classmates, he thinks he isn't deserving of reciprocation, and yet he stayed by Hajime's side. He made an effort to talk normally enough that Hajime would like him. He even went swimming without any complaints, probably because he still doesn't want to lose his attention.

He continues this behavior throughout the game, even in Chapter 4 he uses the fact he has information to get Hajime's attention.

He doesn't think he's worth the ultimates time, and yet, he's always drawn to Hajime. He's always after Hajime's approval, it's so oddly fascinating to me. It's not an obsession thing, but he just really loves him for some reason. It feels more like an irrational emotion, it's not warped love, it's not about status, and It proceeds on even when he knows he's a despair.

I wonder if maybe, just maybe, if Nagito saw his suicide plan as freeing Hajime from Despair. Maybe that's how he justifies it with his emotions. And in an odd sense a horrible proclamation of love.

Sorry this kind of turned into Komahina more than anything lmao, but mostly I'm just thinking about how weird it is that he likes him, like why? What is it about him that Nagito is so infatuated with him? It goes against what he usually does, was he just really that special that he becomes irrational to his typical behaviors?

And in the free time events he's even more infatuated because he believes Hajime is amazing for tolerating him. He pushes him away so he doesn't get harmed by his luck cycle, but also to hopefully to get Hajime kill him. He wants him to escape, he wants him to create hope. Because he believes someone as great as Hajime can create amazing hope. And then his love confession???? AUGH his love confession like, it's so complicated. Did he bail out because he didn't want him to get hurt by his luck cycle? Did he bail out because he doesn't think he's worthy? LIKE??? He's so crazy.

Nagito's so interesting, his irrational infatuation with Hajime next to his warped beliefs, luck cycle, warped love, and intense obsession with hope to the point that he becomes morally grey over it makes him such a wonderful and entertaining character.

[myneurospicyspirit]

Capable of Shifting AND Worthy of Shifting

Growing up neurodivergent, especially undiagnosed or with poor support, can make someone feel like they're not enough.

I know it did for me.

I spent years working three times as hard to prove I was worth something. I masked who I was to try to appear as someone who was enough. I beat myself up when I failed because it's what I thought I deserved. I kept working because I never thought I was good enough.

My "strong work ethic" was actually a coping mechanism to battle chronic feelings of unworthiness. Even when I was naturally good at something, I didn't feel "worthy" of it until I had worked myself to the bone to be the best.

Long story short, the same thing happened with shifting.

I shifted fairly quickly (less than a month after discovering it), and even though it was only momentary shifts, I felt super proud of myself for doing it. However, then I learned that it took many others a long time and needing to practice more, learn more, etc. I started to believe that I had to put in more work to shift in order to be worthy of shifting... even though I had already shifted.

The Point:

Many of us know that we are capable of shifting - but we are unsure if we are worthy of shifting. We are unsure if we are allowed to shift.

It's been so ingrained in us that we have to work hard for things, jump through hoops, prove ourselves, that to believe that we're allowed to have a good thing just because is completely foreign.

So...:

Give yourself permission to shift. Give yourself permission to be good at shifting. Remind yourself that you don't have to prove anything to anyone in order to shift.

I think every school had a teacher that would do this trick: you'd have to use the bathroom and ask "can I go to the bathroom?" Their answer would be "I dont know - can you?" They would wait until you asked "may I go to the bathroom?" to give you permission.

So the affirmation "I can shift" will only get you so far if the answer is yes (and it is yes). It is telling you that you have the capability, but not giving you permission to use that capability. It's letting you know that you can do something, but not saying it in a way which necessarily makes you feel worthy of possessing that power and using it.

Here are some thoughts/affirmations/ideas to help with recognizing that you are allowed to shift and are worthy of shifting:

Affirmations: "I may shift" (instead of "I can shift"), "I give myself permission to shift", "I allow myself to shift", "I am worthy of shifting", "I am enough to shift", "I deem myself worthy of shifting", etc.

Remember that everyone's shifting journey is individual and not based on how much work someone has put in, how long they've been trying to shift, how fancy their script is, etc. You shift when your journey is for YOU and what you want!

Let shifting be enjoyable for you - you are worthy of an enjoyable journey.

Let shifting be yours - you are worthy of having your journey belong to you and nobody else.

On nights when you aren't trying to shift, recognize that you could shift if you wanted to. ("I am allowed to shift tonight, but I don't want to so I am not going to.")

Exercise giving yourself permission to be good at things. Are you super talented at something? What about your special interest? Take the chance to show off a little, even if it's just to yourself.

Exercise giving yourself permission to be good at things related to shifting. Are your scripts gorgeous? Share them (if you're comfortable)! Do you make the best DR playlists? Tell us all about it. Literally anything that you're good at that is related to shifting, give yourself lots of credit for! You deserve it ❤️

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I an asshole for making fun of someone’s name and interests but then apologizing? I (16M) recently became friends with some people in my lunch hour. They are Z (17NB), M (18NB) and K (17M). M is dating A (18FTM), who i have met twice and had maybe two brief convos with, and he seemed sweet at the time. However, A is friends with the whole group, so they all know him and talk about him. We have joked in the past about the fact that A has the same nickname as one of my other friends. For the sake of fake names, lets say the nickname is Alex. I refer to my friend as Alex and Z,M, and K all call their friend Alex too. However, one day i called my friend by his full name- again, fake name, but lets say- Alexander. M makes fun of my friends name, saying its a bad name. In retaliation I jokingly say ‘your partners name is worse!’. A’s full name is a different spelling of a rather nice name, for this lets say its Alexyus (like Alexis). I mention that i like the name alexis, just say “but who spells it with a y!”. I also add, “plus theyre literally a dsmp and homestuck fan!”. OKAY BEAR WITH ME! i will fully accept and admit that thus far i have been an asshole. It wasnt okay for M to make fun of my friends name, but it also wasnt okay for me to make fun of their partner.

Anyways- no one seemed too upset by it in the moment, but later when i got home i received messages from M, K, and A. M’s had some odd sort of long copy pasta which basically said i hope you suffer, but it felt like a joke to me so just responded withh “i aint reading all that”. K’s message was wild tho- he said “i was just hoping you would kill yourself, overdose, hang yourself, or even just cut ur wrists. what is wrong with you, you fing freak!”. which is… wow! After i read the message i saw him edit it to add a “/jay” (meaning joking) at the end, but the original message had no indication of it being a joke. However, i accepted it as a joke because…. Why would he tell me to kill myself lol…. Anyways, A’s message was polite and formal, asking to talk about something i said earlier at lunch (A isnt in our lunch, he wasnt there when i made the comment about his name, but i assume M or K told him). I respond equally politely and we had a good conversation about it, i realized that it wasnt at all my place to make thats jokes or poke fun at A in that way, and i apologized. A said it was all good and honestly i was impressed with their forgiveness and maturity. I hoped A and i could become potential friends in the future, even. I was still peeved that K literally told me to commit suicide, but whatever yknow. The next few days at lunch were awkward but my other friend, Z, and me mostly just didnt talk to M and K. At some point my other friend, who i told about this, mentioned to K kinda offhandedly like “yo it was kinda fucked up u told (me) to kill himself..” and K informed us that he actually didnt send the message, it was A on his phone. M corroborated this story and then we left, but i was honestly so shocked.

Now i dislike and feel uncomfortable around M, K and A (although not Z, who agreed that what the rest of them did was not okay), because to me it feels like they all were okay and agreement of the message. But ultimately i’m really conflicted- it was definitely wrong of me to make fun of A (even if it was not meant to be serious, i dont know A well enough to joke like that), but i feel like telling me to kms is unjustified. Maybe it all is stupid drama tho, and i should just let it go?

*** i forgot to add- if its worth noting, since A is trans, he chose his own name, and mentioned that was one of the reasons he was specifically upset. Should i have not made fun of his name because i know he chose it himself? (Idk if it matters but my friend alexander is also trans and chose his name too. Also i love him and his name to death so maybe thats why i was specifically defensive of it.) but anyways:

Am i the asshole? Are we all assholes?

What are these acronyms?

[aspd-culture]

dunno if this is allowed, u dont have to answer if you don't want to but as someone with bpd I'm curious, how do people with aspd often see them?

So I can only offer my anecdotal answer to this, but I've had very polarized responses to people with BPD. Anything I say about how my ASPD affects the person with BPD I'm speaking of has been directly told to me by that person, so I am not just assuming.

On the one hand, my partner has BPD and it makes our relationship much more functional on my end than it would with me being with someone without it. That's because my *very* limited empathy that comes with him being an Exception pairs very well with the more intense emotions a pwBPD feels. Since my empathy is limited, I am not overwhelmed by the intensity of his emotions the way his exes often were. And, since his emotions are so intense, I can actually pick up on many of those emotions even with the blunted empathy. They're quiet pings on my radar, but they're there.

Further, my desire to only be around an extremely limited number of people saves him a lot of grief because his favorite person is *very* rarely interested in talking to anyone but him and a couple other close friends. The more limited the pool of people I have deep and meaningful relationships with, the less threatened he feels with me being his favorite person. Whilst he couldn't and wouldn't push someone to barely talk to anyone but him as that would be extremely abusive, me wanting to limit my interactions with people helps ease that anxiety a lot. It very much limits how much he worries that I will abandon him for someone else.

Meanwhile, the intensity of his attachment to me, while annoying during a flare, is actually something I enjoy. It's good for the ASPD unstable self-worth to know he values me that highly, and being his FP helps my brain accept that he genuinely does value me and is not using me, because I know the "hidden motivation" for him wanting me around that my ASPD convinces me everyone has. It's also one of the most stable attachments to me that anyone has had, mainly because I have very little time to detach since we do spend so much time together. Besides with my alters, it's the closest to normal love I've ever felt.

However, for non-Exceptions, I can get *very* annoyed by the emotional reactions of pwBPD if they affect me. I already am exhausted by the emotional labor of dealing with prosocials, what with their emotions overtaking their logic, but that is even more exacerbated by pwBPD. It's not their fault, and I know that, but I do have trouble being around pwBPD who are not an Exception because of this without setting firm boundaries on what I can and can't help them with. If they need me to just listen to their upset without trying to help them solve the problem, I cannot help with that. However, if they are too overwhelmed by their reaction to find solutions and want me to insert a logical and entirely non-emotional perspective, I am great at that and it makes me feel useful for something that mostly makes people call me shallow and cold.

Even for my Exceptions though, there are definitely issues between a pwBPD and a pwASPD. BPD splits can *really* flare my symptoms - both the "positive" and "negative" splits. When it's the type of split where he gets hyper-attached and needs a lot of attention out of nowhere, I can get tired easily with this, especially because just saying (and meaning) that I'm not going to leave is not good enough. It makes me want to interact less when he is obsessively trying to interact more. The types of splits where a pwBPD pushes someone away to avoid being left can be especially problematic for both people involved, as very often the pwASPD will essentially go "okay, bye then" and detach. That can be a lot for pwBPD to deal with, even though we're sometimes willing to go back on that. I have to stop myself when my partner gets in that kind of split to keep from "calling his bluff" so to speak, because that will worsen things for him.

In both romantic and platonic relationships, pwBPD and pwASPD can end up very toxic for each other, as some pwBPD will follow pwASPD into destructive situations and with our issues with regard for others' wellbeing, we may not always stop you. In fact, sometimes it's proof to us that you actually DO care about us, which, of course, is messed up for everyone involved.

That said, the more destructive behaviors pwBPD sometimes struggle with are VERY unlikely to surprise or scare a pwASPD. "Oh, you got freaked out and threw something, but you didn't throw it at me or break anything of mine? Ok, cool. What a mood. No, why tf would I leave you over that? I did that like 2 days ago. You're chill now right? Ok let's go get Taco Bell." From what my partner has told me, this can (and has) stop an episode in it's tracks because when the destructive behavior that is meant to push me away doesn't even make me blink twice and I'm still entirely cool with him, it sometimes completely reassures him that I'm not going anywhere and we can move on.

It can go either or both ways, depending on the day, on how a pwASPD and a pwBPD in close relationships of any type will interact, but generally I prefer pwBPD over other prosocials because most of what pwBPD do and say makes sense to me - even the irrational things are done out of a fear of or response to being abandoned, and handling that poorly is something I entirely understand and relate to. Anecdotally, my current partner and my most recent ex (both of whom have BPD) also said that they far, far preferred pwASPD to prosocials because of how we sometimes stablize their fear of being abandoned. I was one of the only people they ever believed when they asked if they were leaving and I said "why and where tf would I go anyway".

Again, this is VERY personal and anecdotal, but I've seen asks in the askbox before that said some similar stuff, so I'm sure I'm not the only one who relates to at least some of this.

Plain text below the cut:

So I can only offer my anecdotal answer to this, but I've had very polarized responses to people with BPD. Anything I say about how my ASPD affects the person with BPD I'm speaking of has been directly told to me by that person, so I am not just assuming.

On the one hand, my partner has BPD and it makes our relationship much more functional on my end than it would with me being with someone without it. That's because my *very* limited empathy that comes with him being an Exception pairs very well with the more intense emotions a pwBPD feels. Since my empathy is limited, I am not overwhelmed by the intensity of his emotions the way his exes often were. And, since his emotions are so intense, I can actually pick up on many of those emotions even with the blunted empathy. They're quiet pings on my radar, but they're there.

Further, my desire to only be around an extremely limited number of people saves him a lot of grief because his favorite person is *very* rarely interested in talking to anyone but him and a couple other close friends. The more limited the pool of people I have deep and meaningful relationships with, the less threatened he feels with me being his favorite person. Whilst he couldn't and wouldn't push someone to barely talk to anyone but him as that would be extremely abusive, me wanting to limit my interactions with people helps ease that anxiety a lot. It very much limits how much he worries that I will abandon him for someone else.

Meanwhile, the intensity of his attachment to me, while annoying during a flare, is actually something I enjoy. It's good for the ASPD unstable self-worth to know he values me that highly, and being his FP helps my brain accept that he genuinely does value me and is not using me, because I know the "hidden motivation" for him wanting me around that my ASPD convinces me everyone has. It's also one of the most stable attachments to me that anyone has had, mainly because I have very little time to detach since we do spend so much time together. Besides with my alters, it's the closest to normal love I've ever felt.

Meanwhile, the intensity of his attachment to me, while annoying during a flare, is actually something I enjoy. It's good for the ASPD unstable self-worth to know he values me that highly, and being his FP helps my brain accept that he genuinely does value me and is not using me, because I know the "hidden motivation" for him wanting me around that my ASPD convinces me everyone has. It's also one of the most stable attachments to me that anyone has had, mainly because I have very little time to detach since we do spend so much time together. Besides with my alters, it's the closest to normal love I've ever felt.

Even for my Exceptions though, there are definitely issues between a pwBPD and a pwASPD. BPD splits can *really* flare my symptoms - both the "positive" and "negative" splits. When it's the type of split where he gets hyper-attached and needs a lot of attention out of nowhere, I can get tired easily with this, especially because just saying (and meaning) that I'm not going to leave is not good enough. It makes me want to interact less when he is obsessively trying to interact more. The types of splits where a pwBPD pushes someone away to avoid being left can be especially problematic for both people involved, as very often the pwASPD will essentially go "okay, bye then" and detach. That can be a lot for pwBPD to deal with, even though we're sometimes willing to go back on that. I have to stop myself when my partner gets in that kind of split to keep from "calling his bluff" so to speak, because that will worsen things for him.

In both romantic and platonic relationships, pwBPD and pwASPD can end up very toxic for each other, as some pwBPD will follow pwASPD into destructive situations and with our issues with regard for others' wellbeing, we may not always stop you. In fact, sometimes it's proof to us that you actually DO care about us, which, of course, is messed up for everyone involved.

That said, the more destructive behaviors pwBPD sometimes struggle with are VERY unlikely to surprise or scare a pwASPD. "Oh, you got freaked out and threw something, but you didn't throw it at me or break anything of mine? Ok, cool. What a mood. No, why tf would I leave you over that? I did that like 2 days ago. You're chill now right? Ok let's go get Taco Bell." From what my partner has told me, this can (and has) stop an episode in it's tracks because when the destructive behavior that is meant to push me away doesn't even make me blink twice and I'm still entirely cool with him, it sometimes completely reassures him that I'm not going anywhere and we can move on.

It can go either or both ways, depending on the day, on how a pwASPD and a pwBPD in close relationships of any type will interact, but generally I prefer pwBPD over other prosocials because most of what pwBPD do and say makes sense to me - even the irrational things are done out of a fear of or response to being abandoned, and handling that poorly is something I entirely understand and relate to. Anecdotally, my current partner and my most recent ex (both of whom have BPD) also said that they far, far preferred pwASPD to prosocials because of how we sometimes stablize their fear of being abandoned. I was one of the only people they ever believed when they asked if they were leaving and I said "why and where tf would I go anyway".

Again, this is VERY personal and anecdotal, but I've seen asks in the askbox before that said some similar stuff, so I'm sure I'm not the only one who relates to at least some of this.

[iicheeze]

3 MONTHS, 3 DAYS, AND 33 MINUTES

3 MONTHS, 3 DAYS, AND 33 MINUTES MASTERLIST

SUMMARY || you've always had feelings for your gray haired senior. To the point that you'd confess to the man in front of the whole Akademiya. Pitying you, he gives you 3 months, 3 days and 33 minutes to make him fall for you. Let the roller coaster of chaos begin!

PAIRINGS || Alhaitham x Gender Neutral Reader, slight Kaveh x reader

TAGLIST || @star-star-fall-inlove @nachotrash @baelloraa @itonashi @tanspostsblog @kalpie @makimakimi @nishayuro @hugs4dottore @sassy-cat-in-town @aloveablechaos @ceylestia @severedvigility @i9tto @6-022-10-23 @duhsies @suwnshine @xiaos-wife1 @kysrion @kunikuzushisbeloved (BOLD MEANS I CAN'T TAG YOU, TAGLIST OPEN!!)

TW || gendered terms like girl or buddy, READER IS GENDER NEUTRAL!!!!!! other than that idk unfunny-ness ig idk 😭 just read to find out

CHAPTER II — [Name], The Reckoning

“ HAHAH!!! HAHAHAHAHA!! ”

The haunting laughter echoed throughout the hallway of Teyvat Akademiya Dorms. Obviously, coming from none other than you, yourself.

“ SHUT THE HELL UP, DAMMIT!! I'M TRYING TO FINISH MY FUCKING ASSIGNMENT, YOU DAMN LUMMOX. ” Tighnari screamed, his head peeking out of his dorm room. “ Sorry, man. ” And with that, the door slammed shut.

“ Give me my five dollars, Mona. ” You demanded, with Mona slowly reaching out to her almost empty wallet.

Long ago, you and Mona made a bet. If Alhaitham accepts your confession, Mona will give you ten dollars. But if he rejects you, you give her ten dollars.

But since this one is a special case, Mona will only give you five dollars.

“ Congratulations for getting accepted! Now.. What next? ” Bennett gave you a pat on the shoulder, while also giving you a question. Silence filled the air with awkward tension.

“ To be honest, I didn't plan this far. ” “ GIRL, HOW DID YOU EVEN GRADUATE HIGH SCHOOL???!?! ” “ I don't know too. ” “ Lord, save us. ”

“ OKAY, OKAY!!! I'll search up on how to woo a stubborn guy. After that, I'll list it off. Then, I'll physically do it to him and bada bing bada boom, we're a couple. ” You winked, as your friends dead pan.

“ I'll wish you the best, [Name]. You'll need it. ” Kokomi smiled innocently at you, as the rest nods along with her statement. “ THANKS??? BUT WHY ARE YOU SAYING IT WITH THAT TONE?? ”

It was the weekend, so you decided to use your time lazing around searching up on how to woo a man with a personality like Alhaitham's. Sadly, they all sound very hard.

Like... What do you mean ‘ Make sure they have all the facts. ’ ?????

The only stuff you wrote down are;

Let him come to you. Obviously not gonna work 💔

Open up to him.

Be his friend.

Stay flirty.

Focus on your common interests. What interests 😭

Make him laugh.

Be silly in front of him.

Go on adventures together. Wtf we aint dora and boots hell no

IF ALL FAILS, THEN GIVE UP GIRL!!! HE AIN'T WORTH YOUR TIME!!!

You wrote the sentence in bold with massive letters at the end of the list. Who knows, maybe this chance is just pure luck or he just wants to toy around with you.

BUT!

You still have a chance, albeit small, it's still a chance!

And you're obviously taking it.

I mean, what the hell. He has a hot body.

“ I wonder if he's a virgin. ”

Kaveh was just taking his break at the local Sunbucks near Teyvat Akademiya, trying to get away from the annoying roommate of his.

But his moment of peace was disrupted by a single ding from his phone.

Message Notification from [Name]

What the hell are they up to now

He clicked the notification bar, and it quickly showed up to his chat history with the person.

[Name]

PLSE HELP ME IM STUCK 😭

You

wtf wdym stuck

[Name] is typing. . .

[Name]

so i confessed to ur roommate ye

and he actually gave me a chance

except theres a time limit for it and if i dont make him fall for me within 3 months 3 days and 33 minutes i cant talk to him or even acknowledge he existed in this timeline 😭

Kaveh couldn't help but think.

How the hell did you even got him to give you a chance what kind of fuckery did you use [Name]

You

and wat do you want me to do abt it im not him tf 🤨

[Name] is typing. . .

[Name]

d-d-d-d

do u know anything abt him

if u do

can u

pls tell me 🥺

You

WTF stop talking like that you sound like an e-kitten 🤢🤮

[Name]

STOP HWAT NOOO 😭

You

idk abt that gray haired bitch hes friendless and a virgin wtf u want me to do

[Name]

AYO WHAT HE A VIRGIN??????

boutta peg him fr fr 😈

You

💀

plus all i know is that he aint prioritize no one but himself

he doesn't deserve u 😒

[Name]

but I deserve him 😍

does he like uhhh

my jokes

You

dont u dare

we all know ur humor is as bad as cyno's

[Name]

but

i have rizz 🔥

You

the only thing ur gonna get is a rizzstraining order from him wtf

no one likes ur jokes [name]

just accept the truth

[Name]

😭

this is why u get no bitches

“ Jesus Christ, [Name]. . . ” The blonde man mumbled to himself, face palming. He was about to leave the cafe, before he saw another text.

[Name]

i seriously want him to like me tho

It was just a simple text, and he knows of your crush for his roommate for quite a while.

So why did it strung his heartstrings?

AUTHOR'S NOTE || SORRY ITS SHORT AGAIN THE NEXT ONE WILL PROBABLY BE LONGER 😭😭 if there's any mistakes be it readers gender or more please tell me 🙏🙇

also taglist is still open feel free to ask to be in it 😍

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

I got caught shoplifting a few weeks ago so Im gonna have a court proceeding (? if thats what you call it in english idk) in a couple hours and Im a little bit nervous but the shit I stole was only worth 7€ and it was my first time getting caught so I dont think it'll be too big of a deal. Honestly Im just glad I didnt get caught while I was stealing ~85€ worth of acotar books, because my punishment would not only be wayyyy harsher it would also just be embarrassing, imagine stealing sjm books when theres so many good books you could steal from a bookstore

Anyway, speaking of acotar books, its livebloggin time. Last time, Feyre and Rhysand came to this cabin in the woods/inn in the middle of nowhere and stayed in a room thats so small that you couldnt even have sex in it and then they had sex. not penetrative sex, they just fingered each other. Which is to say Rhysand fingered her vagina and Feyre fingered his wings because god forbid a man be on the receiving end for anything other than a blowjob. Also, I guess Mor, Cassian and Azriel are somewhere else? I didnt wanna say anything about them being gone bc I just kinda assumed they were staying with Feysand but they seem to be gone. whatever I dont care about those guys anyway

Chapter 49

Feyres internal declarations of love and wanting to be with Rhys forever feel very shallow when you consider the fact that 1) theyve only had like 3 months worth of non-traumatic interactions with eachother, and 2) she thought the exact same way about Tamlin and then she DIED FOR HIM and then she left him after barely half a year

'"You know exactly that I would do anything for my people and my family."' 'Your people' consisting of one (1) city

Feyre's pussy feels slightly raw from getting fingered hours ago?? thats not a good sign.

'"I'm not gonna turn away from you. Not from you," I promised him quietly.' honestly, i can believe that, if you can fully forgive someone for physically torturing and sexually assaulting you after like a month or two you can forgive them anything, I have no idea why Rhys would be worried about that

can you imagine if Rhysand got shot with poisoned arrows and he just died right here. Life could be a dream but alas, I live in a nightmare world

I actually really like Feyre going feral over her love interest like this (even if that love interest is Rhys) I dont we're gonna get much more of that in this series so I shall savour it

Yeah, now that she mentions it, how come one ash arrow was enough to straight up kill Andras but Rhysand gets hit by like a dozen and hes just fine after this. I guess it could be that Feyre shot Andras in the eye so it was more lethal than Rhys getting shot in the back and wings but still, afaik there are no longterm consequences from this, like hes not even gonna have to deal with idk, his back hurting at certain points or something

Im not a fan of Feyre being so murderhappy now when she was reluctant to even kill animals at the start of this book, like at a certain point Im not so much bothered by Feyre's character being retconned from ACOTAR but her character from start of ACOMAF

Damn I didnt think the sex would be anything other than a pointless diversion, but here it is, being plot relevant

How come these guys have been torturing him by just stringing him up and leaving the arrows while they whip him, if I was an evil torturer and had just gotten my hands on a guy with wings Im sawing those badboys off immediately. or should i say batboys ahahahha.hahha

Oh, just a splinter of ashwood can he deadly but of course Rhysand is gonna be pretty much fine after being impaled with seven whole arrows

'"And Elain would love [Velaris], I'm sure of it. Although she would probably cling to Azriel the whole time, looking for safety."' smth about that line feels icky to me, I think its the fact that I dont think Elain actually properly interacted with Azriel at this point and also, Velaris is a perfect paradisical city what on earth would she need his protection for there

ughhhh all this bullshit with the dresser is so unbearably annoying

I guess I'll see how this all actually pans out next chapter, but right now I gotta say I dont like the fact that Rhysand's wounds just heal on their own, I couldve used some good whump with him. And Im not just saying that because I dont like him and Im a sadistic little bitch, even though both of those things are true, Im saying this because I think seeing him in a vulnerable position for an extended time would make me like him more

[cowchickenbeefpork]

Ummm thoughts about Ed’s NPD and BPD? Interested to hear especially after reading your fic

AAAAA THANK YOU FOR READING IT!!!!! with my worldview of Ed having both I feel like his NPD is more prominent and noticeable, it's his first go-to when it comes to his defenses even if he is hiding it (aka season one, I would say he is more overt in his narcissistic vulnerability while covert in his grandiosity in that season, he flip flops around a lot in his presentation on his narcissism in the series buttttt from what I can remember he goes back and forth from hiding his grandiosity but not hiding his vulnerability to hiding his vulnerability but not his grandiosity.) his bpd came first to me, and since most people dont like those traits and he often gets maniuplated for them, he tries to repress it and focus on his narcissism. his npd also keeps him from splitting on himself more often too, both borderlines and narcissists often times see everything as either good or bad, you either are all good or your all bad, which is why treatment is often very hard for both of these groups because no one is all good or all bad. this is why narcissists try to avoid anything that shows a flaw in how they view themselves, they cannot have done a bad thing, since doing a bad thing means they are a bad person, their defenses are more stable and hard to overcome than a borderlines because of this.

i think a easy way to tell is how people with npd and people with bpd split. since npd is more so focused on the self and maintaining the ego, theres three catergories of viewing relationships instead of just two. the first one is someone to perform to, someone to get easy praise from and being able to keep your self essteem in check so you can still feel good about yourselves ( i dont think i need to state here that narcissistss dont actually love themselves, only the image they are trying to contain, this kind of splitting can also be seeing the person theyre performing for as a equal but its not really close, its more superficial ). the two other types are more devaluing, the second kind of narcisstic splitting is seeing someone as someone to inghore, someone who just does not get it and is too stupid too ever get it, the thrid one is the most simliar to borderline splitting since it sees the other as a predator, someone trying to sabotage and hurt them and trying to vitcimize them.

bpd splitting is more so focused on the other, seeing them as someone who is just perfect and you want to know everything about them and always make them happy and how they're just perfect, to them being someone being an abuser manipulator who never cared or loved them in the first place. both of these kinds of splitting are similar in structure but still different, narcissism still mostly focuses on the self while borderline focuses more on the other, narcissism as a defense mechanism is more so focused on the superficial while borderline is more focused on the personal.

when you apply this logic to how ed splits on people, then you kinda start to see this way of performing to keep his ego in check just does not apply to how he treated oswald! his attempts to please him and to help him were exteremly self sacfricial and often put his life on the line! he didnt need to do all of this for oswald to get oswald's praise and admiration, what he does for oswald is more simliar to a borderline wanting to do anything for their favorite person and showcase how much they care for them than a narcissist thinking they met an equal which brings their self essteem up! in the end of how the riddler got his name ed said he based his whole self worth on oswald, and instead of letting himself grieve normally, he tells himself he doesnt need anyone anymore and that hes fine now. the narcissism took over, it didnt even let him fully grieve. he didnt see oswald as just someone to bring his ego up like he did with kristen he didnt reduce oswald's existence to just that, oswald was the only person who ever loved or cared for him and was this amazing figure who ended up being someone who never actually loved him and was only using him in ed's eyes.

i would argue his relationship with lee was more so borderline too, she was the only person he was close to and was the only person who could take his shit during that whose collapse of his ego. he genuinely cared for her and was willing to kill himself out of paranoia he would hurt her! that is not narcissism, he did have narcissistic intentions with their relationship at the start of season four, but it changes into the codependency similarly to what he had with Oswald, only this time being a bit more one sided

That's why ed sticks to his narcissistic defenses more, because, to Ed, this is the only way you can love someone! you can only ever fully love someone if you would basically cut off your whole arm for them just to give them a gift, there are no boundaries! if he only acts selfish in his relationships then he will end up killing them like he did with Kristen too, so as a cope he pretends he doesn't want or desire close relationships during the later seasons, trying to paint himself as a cold logician just so he can have some admiration and praise and love but only from a distance since he knows if he gives too much, something like what happened with Oswald might happen again, and if he takes too much, something like what happened with Kristen might happen again. an Oswald will lead him into being weak and dumb, and a Kristen will lead him into being a monster who only exists to leech off and hurt others. if he just doesn't date then he can never experience either event again and can brush them off like they say nothing about him.

IDK if this whole thread makes any lick of sense, I don't think he was being borderline with Kristen but I do think he realized she was a real person with her own beliefs and opinions only after he killed her, which caused him to panic and repress any guilt or grief he had for the incident and convince himself it was no one's fault and was just destined to happen. Edward is terrible at accepting he did something awful or has emotions and needs, so he represses whatever he feels that conflicts with the image he has of himself and thinks that will be his permanent solution when it always fails him after a few months. he basically ignores and represses his borderline until he finds someone who seems like they are amazing to him which is just. kinda explodes all over the place I AM SO SORRY THAT HIS WHOLE EXPLANATION SUCKS ASS I HOPE I MADE MYSELF CLEAR ASK QUESTIONS IF I WAS UNCLEAR!!!!

[louissatturi]

My oppinions on the quarentena character's

"Dr" Benito Camelo: he is one of the character's that surprised me the most and also did't surprised me AT ALL (weird i know) i thought he would be more of a joke character since its name is literally a joke name (literally a Paula Tejano) but seeing quackity's rp from the first minutes the character got predictible (in a wonderful and good way) to me, FINNALY an asshole that would not save a child or actually help his team, he got my heart pretty quickly since he was a asshole like my bisexual queen Elizabeth Webber, he is also a character witch i want to see his fake asshole mascarede to break, the very very small moments of his "goodness" are so interesting, even when he only saved emi to test on her and was being an ass to this poor orphan child, he did't wanted her to see the dead (defenily becoming a creature) body of her father, exited on where this character is going for now one, will he get character growth and actually help his team and being a father figure to emi?(comparing him a little bit to liz in here sorry) or will he still being a sellfish bastard? I hope if he survives he comes back to the universe, interesting character and had alot to give for the story and universe of ordem paranormal

Luis Miguel Kennedy: omg the moment roier oppened his mouth to roplay luis i feel in love with him, luis is type of character in ordem that i unfortunaly always fall in love with "Combatente class character that has a hero complex that is funny" (lírio and joui jouki my obssesions) and i adore him, i loved the parody batman voice actor that roier did to him, i liked that he was basicly the only one in the group if more "hero" like morality and im obbessed with his ridiculous name that implies some american heritegy but something that got my attention is his hatred for people that he dosent wiew as "good" or "worth" of saving, the way he acts with benito says a lot about the character, they way would defenily kill benito if emi asked is TERREFYING, he would kill for other but basicly only how he finds worth and its a fun shake up of this trope and he is so Bisexual i LOVED HIM

Jeffrey Bacon: i really enjoyed him as a character, and found him really funny even if the jokes did't landed with me most of the time, he is quirky in a straight men way is very interesting, he is just a regular guy defenily not prepered to be dealing with the ordem paranormal bullshit that he is seeing, i found foolish rp for Jeffrey wonderful but Jeffrey as a character did't impressed me tbh, i really want to see how foolish will do to Jeffrey when it's time to take Jeffrey seriously and in more dramatic moments where jokes aren't really fit for the situation since foolish clearely is going to a more comic-relif rp, im scared for this poor soul since cellbit will traumatize this character the most

Lucie Pocharde: i really enjoyed her, more from how baghera played rather then lucie by herself, she is pretty much what i expected her to be but with a bonus of her being actually annoying!, idk how baghera endured the session being so late for her but she did amazing (horrible dice aside) hopefully now that baghera know more what to do with her rp regarding lucie we will see lucie's more as her own character, she is pretty interesting but her alone as a character did't grew that much on me but i loved to see baghera playing, waiting for next saturday to know more about her so I can have a better jugment

Diego Thalles: he is really sweet, really fofo and gay, thats all, since pac was very clearly nervous with the whole situation pac kinda "hided" his rp talents that could me good for Diego, its a easy character that we dont know much about so i enjoyed his pressence but for me if he dies the only loss is that we wont have pac in a ordem table tbh, he is the character im the most neutral about, waiting next week so we know more of him and hopefully pac lets his rp talent shine

Emília (emi): cellbit showing once more that he does not know who to do preteens especially preteen girls with emi lol, at fist i did't cared much of her since she has such obvious death flags but she grew on me FAST, such a annoying brat love her, especially her interactions with lucie and benito those moments ware iconic, waiting to see what cellbit does to her, honestly i want her to be the sole survival of this group, if a tpk heppens, i hope more people on the group besides luis interact with her more so we understand her personality betted

Mikael: Really fucking hot omg does ordem artists do not know how to NOT make peopls hot???? This character surprised me because i thought he was a ordo realitas agent 100% but nah he is actually a "villan" lol im exited in witch vibe cellbit is leaning with him, exited to see him dying horrible since he is a antagonist and a hottie

Thats all!