#dont mind me im just being autistic about repetition

[felixcosm]

I love the parallels in WOE.BEGONE. Even the accidental ones, even the ones that weren't on purpose.

Just Dont Die in episode 5 and Just Don't Die in episode 61

Mikey's "witness me!!" in episode 6 and Mikey's "witness me!!" in episode 101

Mikey's "stay with us" in episode 6 and Jam's "stay with us" in season 10

Mikey in episode 5 "I'll never be 30 again" and the entirety of season 10

The repeated "It's Just A Pig" theme

Mikey's "screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming" in episode 40 and Jam's "I cut and cut and cut and cut" in episode 117

Hunter's "they'll like that" in season 2 and Ty's "they'll like that" in season 4

[lemonade-luvr]

I MEAN THATS AS FAR AS I KNOW. to be fair all i’ve heard abt it is You fucking hallucinate shit .thats literally it .

where the fuck did i get the idea you were having hallucinations then......... hmmm. however, i also dont get many hallucinations! at least not visual ones. im much more privy to tactile and auditory stuff!

im gonna infodump. autistic style. and if i accidentally desstroy your worldview, im so sorry. you have been warned.

IT GOT REALLY LONG SORRY FUCKKKKKKKK

schizophrenia is actually very similar to an autism diagnosis! at least from an outside perspective. it comes with flat tone and struggles with facial expressions and all that jazz! it can also make it really hard to think and leads to a very scattered mind??? idk how to describe it . because of the . well we call it brain scramble! i think its called something like word salad though.

the main defining thing about schizophrenia is the presence of psychosis, which is further defined by hallucinations, delusions and paranoia o^_^o

hallucinations CAN include seeing stuff that isnt there, though thats a really simple understanding of visual hallucinations. the visual hallucinations i tend to get are stuff in the corner of my eye and the walls kinda.. Shifting. nothing immediately distressing. but i know there are people with way more scarier things going on.

auditory hallucinations are something i experience a lot more, and theyre just.. hearin stuff that wasnt ever there. my brain loves the discord notification sound and like. splatoon sound effects. sometimes i hear someone yell the body's name!

there are also tactile hallucinations which is feeling a sensation that wasnt real. we get these ones the most. a good example isssss well rn im getting The Bugs. like buddy theres no bugs here you are feeling hair probably and yet even then i still feel it eugh eugh eugh. our headmates can make use of our tactile hallucinations to give me pats on the head though, which is nice o^_^o

delusions are simply believing something that isnt true wholeheartedly. i dont reallly like to share mine because im scared of people playing into them or thinking theyre cringe BUT i will share that we have fully believed ourselves to be in future london before. which is really fucking funny you are allowed to think this is funny. we are in the wrong country for that buddy. you can be fully aware that somethiing isnt true and still believe it! its fucked up! they should make that illegal. these are the mind killer i hate these little bastardsssssss... delusions are very versatile. its also like thinking mundane things are signs.... theres a lot to say on delusions.

paranoia is the one thats really easy to comprehend its just intense and unfounded anxiety. me when i overthink everything to death. me when everyone on the bus knows im gay.

also it makes it really hard to Word Shit. sometimes i cannot comprehend the english language despite it being the only one i fucking know. On that Topic. Sorry if this is Incomprehensible. i actually genuinely Cannot Tell. its usually fine but sometimes i just feel like i cant get ANYTHING across correctly.

impaired motor coordination is also a thing? which makes it hard for me to type sometimes and also do things like, idk, drink my monster energy without spilling it and pissing off charles. sorry charles. damn. UH theres also a lot of repetitive behaviours, and catatonia. it can come with memory issues and FATIGUE BIIIIITCH and BUDDY am i FEELING the fatigue today. AUGH AUGH AUGH.

oki think thats all i have to say on the matter unless u have questions

i feel so fucking nuts right now i dont know if its the rush of i just got to infodump or if im manic :sosonormal: <you are manic <thanks babygirl in my head. god i hope this is comprehensible

ONE TWENTY ONE GUNS 💥

[the-eyemunchies]

A small discussion. We all know ghoatbusters is autisti media, but can we talk about how all the ghostbusters are definitely neuroatypical (except for Winston).

So this is my Thread(i will only be using the movies but i could add so much more with the Real ghostbusters):

So let's start with the easy one, Egon is Obviously Autistic, he is the steriotypical autistic person, blunt, which shows difficulty in communication, has a hard time with socialization and has repetitive and behaviour. (Yes, those are the main 3 traits to define autism according to the dms-5 ), but we can add in some other stuff like he restrictive eating and hyperfocus that arent defining traits but are also associated.

Now let's go for Ray, i see a lot of people mentioning of autistic behaviour related to Ray and well due to Dan himself being autistic. but i will throw a thing out here, Ray has ADHD Not autism, specifically the mixed adhd which brings in the lack of attention along with hyperactivity. (i know the spectrum shows differently in each person but this is my headcanon and what i observed) So lets start, he is very impulsive, and take actions sometimes without even thinking, plus very active, childish, and he lacks a lot of attention like they'd be talking about a thing and stantz would trail off or even start something without even considering causes, like with the proton packs, ray was the first one to offer himself even if it is a nuclear weapon. He could go overboard like when he is asked to scream to the mood slime and goes over the top, and now that's not necessarily a adhd characteristic, but it's common, he is very adoptive and quickly witted.

Now, for the one no one ever talks about when mentioning about neurodiversity in ghostbusters and my favourite Venkman.

Oh, how do i start with this one, thats the most AuDhD person, in the movies the phrases like "Good or bad is a bit fuzzy in my mind" or "dont stare at me you have the bug eyes, im sorry" both the situation, of not exactly understanding the morals or social effects and of not liking to be stared at, (he barely looks at people faces while talking to them) The lack of feel and being rather apathetic, being calm to react to stuff, like on the second on thr mocie when they were being judged and he was telling louis exactly what to say and yet extreme impulsive action, like the way he behaved with peck, his extreme sincerity and plus even tho he is very communicative his ways of communication are very directed as in the need to alrewdy have a theme or create a move. he needs a topic to communicate with people, like i found it so stupid that he used the experiment to hit on the girl on the first scene then he used jokes to die out his anxiety and he is not very expressive and to actually talk to dana he used the excuse of the ghost hunting, and the way he began to freak out about the ectoplasma (now obviously im over exagerating) could be seen as sensory issues, much like ray he also gets side tracked and distracted a lot. It's hard to have two voices in ya head telling the most logical and other one telling the impulsive intrusive thought, and he shows the mixture of the two perfectly. and if you want to push even farther in, we can discuss dislexia. The fact he has to ask Ray to read certain words for him and tell him what it says is already very interesting. (Adding in Bill murray is not openly autistic, but there were mentions about it in old interviews and some stuff in different people mentioning the possibility. but for the section of factuality, let's say no)

It could've been an accident or not, but here we have it. this is my belief that none of this is canon. im not Dan nor Harold remis im just a person who really likes those characters and is also Autistic.

i love this picture of ernie hudson its so silly

[hedgehog-cynder]

flower boy review : fucking beautiful no complaints beyond rating on any scale. ill note some things about every song cause :3

foreword: holy shit what an opener. nothing lasts forever, nothing sticks together????? absolutely heart wrenching. amazing lyrics amazing everything THE ENDING SYNTHS?,$,%?"? breathtaking i swear to god

where this flower blooms: i would just like to say AGSGDGSUSHDHSGSHDJSHAHDGSJAGSGSJSGDD. instrumentals are beautiful tyler sounds beautiful frank sounds beautiful lyrics are chefs kiss what else is there left

sometimes...: i dont care if its one minute long I dont care its so fucking pretty and soft and sobbing material. on my first listen it jumpscared me because i thought it was BOYFRIEND. also the voice of the radio host is very comforting and helps me not dissociate

see you again: 20-20 20-20 vision cupid hit me cupid hit me with precision i wonder if u look both ways when u cross my mind i said i said im sick of sick of sick of sick of chasing ure the one thats always running through my daydreams i i can only see ur face when i close my eyes its so fucking beautiful kalis voice is heavenly this song makes me want to die

who dat boy: god everything about this one is just fucking beautiful the synths the lyrics the delivery asap sounds just so fucking good. everythings just. AGHDGDHSG and the ending feels like getting run over /pos

pothole: this is probably a song ill use to demonstrate tyler as an artist to whoevers interested in my autistic rambling cause. its one of the longer songs in the album its got stops n twists n turns the instrumental is to die for jadens voice is just so pretty. its one of The tyler songs to me. but dont take that last part seriously cause i say it about every song

garden shed: this one is the first song off flower boy ive ever listened to. it is just So. ITS JUST SO!!!!! estelles voice the slow pacing its such a good waltz. i would have to write out the whole lyrics because theres no one part of them i love more. its just so beautiful

boredom: everything about this song makes me feel like im going to die if i dont hold head in hands dramatically. its so vulnerable and heart breaking annas voice the harmonies the orchestrals everything just makes me want to sob. the end is especially devastating. another one im gonna use to explain tyler

i aint got time: god where to begin. whatever sample he used in there is fucking perfect for the job everythings so good and stimulating his delivery is flawless everything makes me wanna jump and kick and dance its all just beautiful. the ending is very silly i love it and also WOAHHHHHH. FUCK YEA GOOD FOR HIM

911 / mr lonely: just thinking about it is devastating. every time i listen to it i am mentally on the floor in fetal position. its so sorrowful and emotional while having the best motherfucking instrumentals and delivery like GOD i never doubted him but this man really does it all

droppin seeds: ok this is where my notes will fall a little flat. i cant take mentions of sex in any capacity seriously i am sorry. its a beautiful song though and i love it

november: oh god this one BREAKS me. its so emotional and open and i cant fucking get enough of it. and yet again it does so while being a FUCKING BANGER. the last verse always hits like a sack of wet mice and oh is it really bitch u know the dealy really hilly willy tilly silly hold that billy how i milly rock is soon going to become my newest vocal stim and i have no choice but to accept it

glitter: god what a devastating sad song. it really captures what its talking about. how joyful and cute and loving it is AND THEN the lowered pitch & tempo please dont save me the repetition of how ya feel? the kinda second half is all so much like being stuck in heartbreak i love it. it makes me feel like im falling from heaven. plausibly crowley style

enjoy right now, today: honestly with the sad note glitter ends on this one sounds so bright in comparison its fucking hilarious. i honestly didnt expect it to be almost fully instrumental but holy shit if anything it just shows how good he is even without lyrics. i have also never heard a more work at a pizza place song in my LIFE and its honestly making me wanna redownload roblox just cause i feel nostalgic. FUCK what a good closer

yeah thats it im done <3

[rhaenyras]

I have been diagnosed with bpd for a few years now but im scared it might actually be a misdiagnosis for autism. I have been reading how a lot of high functioning, high masking autistic women get misdiagnosed with bpd instead because it looks too similar. I’m very dependant on my noise canceling headphone, cant leave the house without them, i get really nervous and overstimulated in spaces like public transport or malls, and sometimes i feel these breakdowns/meltdowns coming and i need to isolate myself from the world not to embarrass myself, if they happen in public i usually end up snapping and saying mean things to people i love or crying in public etc just because im overstimulated. Usually happens after a long day of being out in public, in crowded spaces, after lots of interaction etc. I’ve never been good with people or making friends and I get really upset when plans change last minute. But then again I dont think i have any special interests, im not a picky eater, i love traveling by myself and trying new things. Im not sure how to bring this up to my therapist or address it because i dont fit the stereotypical picture they’ve created with shows like Big bang theory :/

there's so much ignorance and stereotyping surrounding autism. all the more so when it comes to adult women and afab identities. i ofc am not fit to give you a diagnosis of any kind, but i can speak from my own experience, and i can tell you that i also have bpd (shifting erratic sense of self, impulsive possibly destructive behavior when triggered, black-or-white vision especially when the mental health is not great, splitting when needs or expectations are not met etc.) but, from independently looking a bit into autism (thanks to informed activists online), I've been able to relate to a few traits. i even talked to my sister about it (the person who knows me best on this entire earth) and she was like. "hm. makes sense. not surprised". 😭😭😭 so i always say i have "a few autistic traits" (namely the seeking of comfort and repetitive rituals, loath to change, prone to sensory overload when overstimulated, hyperfixation on interests, chronic boredom unless my mind is entertained, need to recharge after a social event, etc.), but i myself dont feel confident enough to say i am autistic because i am still highly functional and can make myself do even the things i hate the most and sit through the most hideous unpredictable overwhelming loudest event and pretend im enjoying it, even, when actually my brain is fighting the fight of its life. plus, I'll never be able to get a proper diagnosis anyway 🤷🏻‍♀️ but you must, by all means. drop that imposter's syndrome and talk to your therapist about it. or if you feel like you need to gather more data before you make up your mind, then seek out activists and autistic public personalities online. or share your misgivings with someone you trust and who knows you well, and ask for a second opinion. oh and PLEASE for the love of god ....... stay tf away from harmful ableistic media like the big bang theory. i have a guy muted on ig (a friend of my husband's) who labeled himself "asperger" in his bio specifically because of big bang theory lmao as if that's not the most ignorant ableistic snowflake kind of term to be using for a white cishet guy who just feels "gifted" and "misunderstood".

[mingot-studios]

Things currently polluting my mind (will be added to as i think of things)

 How bad the Star vs. Finale was, and weather i should even bother trying to watch the show again at this point

The fact that the next JoJolion chapter is coming out soon and I STILL haven’t read 107 with my mom even though I’ve already read it

Not being caught up on One Piece and having 0 IDEA of whats happening at this poin as well starting to flaws with the series (racism, transphobia, and homophobia) that i knew was there but chose to ignore and weather it should hinder my relationship with the series. Also wanting to murder Oda for demoting Franky to ‘Pervy Grandma’ (srsly wtf oda)

Upset Infinity Train was cancelled even though i never watched it, and wonder why the fans cry for it to come is suddenly not happening?

The fact i’m going to be returning to in person schooling which is my personal HELL

my brother leaving for college upstate (Me and my brother have never really been that close, we fight alot but I cant imagine life without him)

The fact that my procrastination has gotten so bad that I nearly had to retake PE, World History, and English

The Owl House coming back on the 12th but i had downloaded the first 2 episodes but haven’t watched them and debating if i should, also having a meltdown  over Disney screwing the show over and having its third be 3 or 4 (i cant remember) 44-minute specials

The fact that me and brother STILL haven’t finished our Yume 2kki Let’s Play

I haven’t been watching anime regularly with my mom

I haven’t posted anything to my DeviantArt or YouTube in months

I have so much energy right now but no outlets

I still haven’t tried out my drawing pad i got for my birthday last year

I have so many drawing ideas but my spiral sketchpad is filled up and I have yet to get a new one

Ive many intricit and detailed story ideas that i know im gonna forget if i dont write them down bu due my procrastination i haven’t done so im prolly gonna lose everything

The fact Thurston Waffles hasn’t posted anything since late April as well as the fact that he’s got Kidney problems

So many ideas for videos but I only have WindowsMovieMaker and the HumbleBundle my mom got me idk YEARS ago won’t install

I’m gonna be 17 at the end of September, which i only have until next June before I graduate High school, have to give up my Chromebook, start thinking about college and getting a job, possibly moving out and living on my own, the knowledge that my parents are in their late 50′s and early 60′s so hey might be gone sooner than most parents and I dont know how to function without my parents doing everything for me

These weird tingles ive been getting in my body for he pas couple days

The fact that im not gonna a kid soon and im gonna have to grow and stop doing whatever i want whenever i want and i’m gonna never accomplish my dream of creating a successful cartoon and will probably end up at a dead end job I HATE just to make ends meet and eventually dying alone because I dont wanna be in a relationship or have kids

Everything is too overwhelming. The light, the sound, my thoughts, its all too much. I wanna curl up into a tiny ball and disappear from this awful experience called life

Capitalism

i hate being so passionately when i’m upset, everyone else is calm but i have meltdowns and freaks outs over things i shouldn’t even care about or are miniscule (Comes with being autistic i guess)

I have 0 patience and i hate it

I’m starting to regress back to being a childish brat after all the progress i’ve made

i’m constantly surrounded by either criticism or praise that contradict each other so i dont know what to believe about myself

the fact that i have so many great story ideas but i cant write a cohernt thought with proper grammer or sytax or spelling o save my life, nor the art skill or the patience or the tech to draw comics

i haven seen my therapist in days and i need help but i know im not actually gonna change 

having gender panic

I have no in person friends and ive forgotten how to interact with people

ive become a noodle limbed nerd

Ive gotten super skinny

I want someone o break through my shell and help me change bu I know thats just a fantasy and im the only one who can do that but im too lazy to put effort into it

everything i used to enjoy suddenly feels tedious monotonous repetitive and uninteresting

I feel trapped and scraed 

The fact after being bulied so much the only way i can really assert myself is to get violent and angry because they would want me breakdown and cry

I have this image in my head of who i want to be; And badass that people including adults, are scared of and know not to fuck with me or they’ll get hurt (Basically Jotaro, bu I’ve had this image since before i even knew what jojo was) And the fact I KNOW that i’s a pointless endever and that i only dig my own grave when i get mad but its like ingrained Branded into my my psyche so im always going to larp that vision of myself but not get anywhere and only regress further

I want to address my problems and change but I never do and stay static and regress

I cant take crticisim even though i know its true

The reason im so scared of writing fanfiction is because i know its gonna be a mess despite what i think is a great story and people will end up mocking it and what little self confidence i have will shatter

Star Vs wasted potential

the fact that I dont know where to take the whole “Rubi dies at the  end of he first season but comes back o life except she’s not actually she’s just a walking meat sack containing an anchint eldritch god that will, sooner or later, burst out of her and destroy her body, and she’s fighting for control of her ow body due to Skarlotus trying to devor her soul and Data’s medience is only delaying the inevitable” storyline of my concept cartoon, The Crypto Club

I have an AMAZING idea for an Invader Zim storyline that has fascism, rascism, mass genocide, child soldiers, political intrigue, propaganda, baiscally space hitler and more (okay that came out sound REALLY bad, but NONE of it painted as good!) It also involves Zim and Dib coming together to stop an even bigger threat and there is a really ironic ending that brings my OC GA83′s story full circle

[creacherkeeper]

LOVR ur aelwyn and the bad kids series and can’t wait to see what you’ve got planned for the other three bad kids!! got any headcanons in general about them?

thank you so much!!!! <3 <3 ive REALLY enjoyed writing the series so far, and the comments and encouragement has been so lovely ;; fantasy high fandom my beloved <3

*slaps head* this babey can fit so much headcanons in it

okay ive talked about this with a few people but i totally think season 3 will have a siblings motif. we already know a few characters who are NOT only children (fabian, ayda) which hasn’t been explored, and have some characters who also have the potential to not be only children (they called fig ‘first born daughter’ in hell?? weird choice of wording for an only child) (also either set of gorgug’s parents could have more kids - adopted or bio). and i’d just really like to see more of kristen’s brothers and OF COURSE adaine and aelwyn. riz just has such strong only child vibes im sorry i dont see that changing

i REALLY HOPE we meet fabian’s siblings but my PERSONAL headcanon for them is that he has an older sister who is like. SUPER COOL and badass and can kick his ass in a second flat and literally everyone is in love with her. and also an older brother who lives in bastion city who is a completely normal and extremely boring accountant

(also fabian’s cool older sister and aelwyn become friends ok thx)

so adaine definitely has the potential to be a very physical person (like even early early s1 she’s throwing spells, punching, The Ladle) but obviously was raised in an environment where she was expected to be very self contained. i think as she gets used to mordred manor and living with jawbone and tracker and ragh especially, she gets VERY about physical affection. like, okay, one, the child is touch starved we all know this. but i think she goes from awkward fistbumps and pats on the shoulder to like. BIG bear hugs, hair ruffling, people sitting on her lap, etc etc pretty quickly. like just embracing that physicality she has in a positive way

also jawbone and tracker (in a safe way, we know they take measures to not spread lycanthropy) totally bite as affection. and adaine picks up on it and one day just sort of chomps aelwyn’s arm a little bit and aelwyn is like. hey. so what the hell was that. and adaine was like it was affection it means i love you. and aelwyn is just like. literally what the fuck is up with this house.

ALL the bad kids have trauma For Sure but (as i hinted at in the first fic) fabian definitely has ptsd from leviathan. i think his presents as less emotional stuff and more as like. a ton of hypervigilance and irritability/snappishness when he’s triggered

okay i could literally write an essay on all the bad kids mental stuff and neurodivergence and everything but 1) kristen is just a unit of cPTSD with freckles 2) adaine and aelwyn have the SUPER WEIRD combo of adaine being the externalizer and aelwyn being an internalizer and i think that’s the thing that like. yes DID fuck up aelwyn for a long time but ultimately is what saved both of them. like i believe very strongly that if this tendency had been flipped they’d both be completely screwed

okay speaking of aelwyn 1) claustrophobia now right?? like we can all agree on that ?? 2) this is NOT just me projecting (yes it is) but i think aelwyn has chronic pain/fatigue for a good while after s2. like you cant spend almost a YEAR at five levels of exhaustion doing one extremely restricted repetitive motion and not like ???? completely fuck up your body??? like yes she and fabian totally swordfight and duel and stuff but also i think it takes a WHILE before she can do any physical activity without getting completely wiped out. because spells do seem to take SOME level of energy or whatever from you (spell slots, otherwise you could just do them all the time) i think this probably includes spells

gorgug is like. extremely good with kids. toddlers especially. he talks to them like they can totally understand everything (great for development!) and is just very patient and kind and good but also does not mind being used as a jungle gym and WILL throw a child into a beanbag chair for two hours straight (ALSO great for development!). fabian also thinks babies are the cutest things on the planet but will NOT admit that so he mostly tags along when gorgug babysits because he’s “just SO bored he CANT find anything better to do UGH” and secretly is like. babies <3

let aelwyn MULTICLASS!!!! paladin and barbarian are my faves for her

i know this is a common hc but like. all the bad kids share clothes. for sure. literally the bugs bunny OUR closet meme

kristen has a total green thumb she’s GREAT with plants and tracker is just like <3 its because youre a lesbian <3 even though tracker will totally kill any plant she comes in contact with by accident

kristen and tracker are the academy’s GSA moms. theyll be like “hello my child” and the other kid will be like im four months older than you??? and theyre like “that does not matter <3″

adaine and aelwyn were DEF forced into like. piano and violin lessons growing up but when fig finds out shes VERY EXCITED they can play together and like. does piano and violin and bass sound good together?? dont worry about it. its the first time playing music is actually fun for the two of them

ayda, after more research and understanding, is totally the type of person who’d walk up to someone in the grocery store and be like “hello i believe you are autistic like me let me explain what that is” and fig is like. babe. babe. we were just here for fruit snacks. babe.

okay i will stop here for now because i super need to shower but also if people wanted more/specific headcanons i might be .....,, persuaded ...

[subtlereferencetomyinterests]

everything about sanders sides is good, you all know my stance on that, but yet Another Good Thing is how Every Fuckin character is perfect for Neurodivergent Projecting time. 

Logan? Difficulty conveying emotions, he Actively Studies Modern Slang Terms, So Much Knowledge about Very Specific Topics, hard time understanding other people’s feelings and picking up on Subtext (*cough* LNTAO *cough*)..... like, need i go on?

Roman? Easily excited, impulsive, Prone to sudden intense mood swings and moments of extreme emotion, difficulty recognizing tone/realizing when he might be saying smth hurtful, Frustrated when the things he does don’t turn out Just Like He Imagined them, fixation with escapism and fantasy..... ?? fuck hes me

Patton? He Does Not Know the effects of his actions unless you Tell Him Directly, bending over backwards to try and accommodate those around him; again with the strong bursts of emotion, he literally had a breakdown just because of how fuckin confused he was and if that ain’t relatable idk what is; he loves everyone so much and he needs to tell them every five seconds just in case they forgot....... i really love patton omg

Virgil? Well a lot of it could be from the anxiety-ness that he is, but!!! That’s also Projection Time- the lashing out when things dont go his way, the Sweater Thing, he also has trouble expressing his emotions (particularly the sentimental ones), he like cannot apologize all he does is try to convey that he regrets it with like gestures and implications fuck im love him!!! virgil is a good example of the less excepted and more frowned upon Neurodivergent traits and thats very sexy of him i think.

Janus? Fuck, man, Being sincere? It is Impossible!!! He gets angry when people don’t understand what he’s trying to say, and also when things don’t go the way he planned or the way he wanted. And what is Philosophy if not a Special Interest for him???  Plus plus plus his insistence on having a Persona and a Vibe at all costs even when breaking that created character could benefit him he just,,,, can’t... like it’s so hard for him and I really feel that.

Remus????!!? Best and Most Interesting for last, ya know!!! I think we’re all in agreement that he has adhd. The constant movement which is Obvious Stimming (his Litol Dance, the little hand thing, all of the exaggerated funky gesturing while he speaks!!), he jumps from one topic to another fucking rapid fire with no consideration for anybody else and thats hot. Focus??? sorry he didnt hear that he wasn’t listening. He WILL say the first thing that comes to mind at Literally any instance, and he WILL laugh at his own jokes. He doesn’t care what you guys r talking abt he’s bored....... Just Makes Noise for attention. Repetitive language/phrases, like he circles back to certain subjects or ideas cuz brain got Stuck on this One Thing... Honestly just wants a fucking reaction like pay attention to him is it any wonder hes my all time favorite character in anything?? Also!!! Seemingly contradictory and varying tastes in media, like just look at his playlist and see the fucking vastly different genres n shit becuz brain is moving too fast to only like One Kind of Thing he must like All Of It.

(haha wow those got progressively longer).

((Also that scene in LNTAO where Pat distracts Roman, Virgil, and Logan with three objects that r all Neurodivergent Culture bb)).

This post was brought to u by an Autistic enby with ADHD and Anxiety who is Unacceptably Attached to these characters.

[mental-health-advice]

Submission about Pure OCD

i am fairly certain that i definitely have pure obsessional ocd, i started noticing my thinking patterns at the tail end of last year now im 100% positive this is what i have. i have a range of different themes from existential to philosophy to p*dophelia to sexual orientation ocd to many other themes as well. ive even had self harm ocd where ive gotten terrifying thoughts like “i could hurt myself right now” even though i dont wish to and the very thought paralyzed me to my bed. i keep ½

hearing from MH professionals and people in the MH community from different crowds that its bad to self diagnose but some say its valid so that just confuses me. ive had repetitive existential and philosophic intrusive thoughts that i dont like having that’s made me dissociate very badly to where words starting looking like gibberish to me, and spirituality helps but also makes it even worse for me though. i have tried bringing it up to my CBT therapist but she dismissed it because i wasn’t 2/2

bothered by the mess on her desk, because i wasn’t showing all the traditional symptoms of the compulsions like washing my hands and organizing my bookshelf. ( although i do have obsession with symmetry and i always have ) not only that i deal with hypochondria and health anxiety as well. i think with everything ive typed its fair to say i may have this diagnosis. but, it discourages me that people dismiss it as tidiness and i didn’t even realize for YEARS that i had this problem because 3/3

how people trivialize it and how its incorrectly portrayed on tv. in fact my mind keeps going back to how emma from glee is like the closest to the most accurate portrayal we can get. its just, i feel like i literally have no one to turn to. my parents dont support me but im still financially dependent on them and live under their roof because im a high functioning autistic young adult. i cant afford betterhelp or online therapists and i don’t know what to do ha ha. at this rate id have to 4/4

wait until i have fully moved out and i am supporting myself with my own income until i can get a proper diagnosis and proper ERP. i. don’t know. what. to do. 5/5. sorry this ask was so long btw i just needed to get this out somewhere.

also btw what i meant by “my parents don’t support me” is that i know i can’t turn to them for emotional support because they’re no help to me and my mental health at all.

Hi there,

First, I’m sorry to hear that you’re struggling with all of this! It sounds like a lot to deal with, especially on your own, so I’m glad you decided to reach out to us for help.

Since you mentioned self-diagnosis, I will say that as a blog, MHA discourages self-diagnosis for the reasons discussed here. You’re definitely right when you say that everyone has different opinions on it, though! Sometimes having a general idea of what you might be struggling with can be really helpful, which we also recognize.

It unfortunately sounds like your therapist is quite ignorant about OCD in general, which is discouraging. As you know and have pointed out in your message, OCD is so much more than being uncomfortable when things aren’t clean or out of order. OCD presents in so many different ways and she should obviously know that as a therapist. She shouldn’t have dismissed your concerns just because you don’t show the stereotypical symptoms of OCD. I’m so sorry that she treated you like this!

Do you think you could try talking to your therapist about this again? You shouldn’t have to educate your therapist, but perhaps you could share some information with her about Pure OCD and explain what symptoms you have that make you think you might have it. There’s a website here that you could potentially share with her. Again, it shouldn’t be up to you to educate your therapist, as she should already be aware of the less common forms of OCD. However, if you have a resource like this to back up your concerns, perhaps she would be more receptive and take this more seriously.

If this doesn’t work or you don’t want to go the route of bringing this up again (which would be 100% understandable), I’m wondering if it’s possible for you to see a different therapist? You mentioned being financially dependent on your parents, but maybe if your current therapist works in an office with other therapists, for example, maybe you could see about transferring to a different therapist. Or, even though your parents aren’t very helpful, maybe you could talk to them about seeing someone else. Though I’m not sure either of these options are  possible, it’s worth considering because you deserve a therapist who is supportive of you and listens to your concerns.

While it’s not the same as professional help, there are some coping mechanisms you can try to use to cope with your symptoms. For example, there is a four step program you can read about here that is sometimes used to treat OCD. You can also check out our calming anxiety and panic page to find ways to deal with your distressing symptoms.

Finally, although I can’t say whether you have Pure OCD or not, I want you to know that your experiences are valid even if they aren’t what’s typically viewed as OCD. I know it’s hard to not see yourself and your struggles represented the same as others are, but remember you’re still valid and deserve support.

Take care!

-Samantha

[triplemixedpd]

8/12/20, 1:34am - i wouldnt dare

~text or tell anybody about my new life because at the moment, it consists of things like indulging in squishmallows and fidget toys, and the highlights of my week are either creating/redesigning a new oc or doing chores ~i dont have a job, i dont have a drivers license, but wow i dont even have a personality; literally how the fuck can i talk to anybody else when i dont know how to talk to them??? i hesitate to talk because when i texted danny to try and catch up and tell them about my surgery, i got screamed at and cried at, and then told “i cant do this; i need to sit in the back seat for a bit.” and, i got this reaction for.. doing nothing. literally, nothing. she told me that she thought i was mad at her the entire two months. but, i was texting anna??? they knew i wasnt dead??? and i texted danny on 6/23??? im, sorry??? im sorry ~dude i wish i literally wasnt so blatantly autistic. ~i cant process emotions when i desperately need to, i struggle to understand what i do wrong, i seem to do or say something wrong, or i say something that seems worrying, or just different, to others; i laugh at stupid and repetitive shit, i eat fucking childrens food, i repeat things like im fucking rain man, and im a fucking EMBARRASSMENT!!!  ~i feel like ive disconnected from reality and people as a whole, bc for the past few months ive just delved into my partner, me, our mental health, and our trolls.   ~but at the same time, its nothing new; this isnt new day-to-day conversation. it just happens to be all day, everyday now, in person- something that ive never had with capp before. as opposed to only getting to text them while also juggling everything else; school, family, schoolwork, mental health ~dude, being fake is hard ~ive realized just how fake i am because i dont remember how to talk to anyone else, and seeing how graant reacted just by me trying to literally text them “how are you doing? i miss you!”, im kind of fucking like??? “well??? guess i shouldve just stayed dead honestly???” ~a lot of my day to day consists of thinking/talking about our ocs and plot, drawing, watching shows/movies and playing games, and literally just trying to fucking stay afloat; that last past including a lot of abrupt, sudden suicidal thoughts and crippling fucking self-esteem, paired with hypersensitivity. that is not me being “boohoo poor me sensitive baby :(”, that is the textbook description of what i experience. thats not exactly conversation material with others ~because of melissas reaction and dannys reaction ive felt very unsure of myself  - im unsure if i did the right thing or not  - i dont know what i shouldve done differently, or where i messed up  - i feel like a terrible person, an awful person  - im upset at myself because i get really really confused by people and their expectations, or what they want me to say or do;  - i wonder if im currently displaying the textbook definition of the borderline symptom “impulsive ending relationships”  - and subsequently, im wondering if im thinking rationally; its kind of scary to not know, because i hate myself when im fucking splitting* ~i see that theyre upset, and from experience, i know that they require alone time when stressed. so when theyre stressed, and im the source of the stress, i leave to give her space. and what does THAT equal??? “YOU NEVER TAKE INITIATIVE TO MAKE THINGS UP” “I’M TIRED OF BEING THE ONE THAT FIXES EVERYTHING” ~WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN “TELL THEM WHATS GOING ON IN MY HEAD?????” ~I WAS LITERALLY TERRIFIED TO REACH OUT TO ANYONE??? WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY????? “GOOD MORNING DANNY I JUST SUDDENLY WANTED TO SLIT MY CHEST BECAUSE I SAID SOMETHING STUPID IN A THROWAWAY CONVERSATION AND IT EARNED A SLIGHT CHANGE OF TONE FROM MY PARTNER THAT I INTERPRETED AS AN ‘I HATE YOU’ VIBE [WHEN THATS ACTUALLY NOT THE CASE ITS JUST ALL IN MY DUMBASS INFERIORCOMPLEX-HEADASS HEAD]”???????? ~IT’S A LITERAL SCIENTIFIC FACT THAT ME AND ALL OF MY BAGGAGE IS A FUCKING BURDEN!!! I CANT ENTERTAIN, CONVERSATE, OR FUNCTION WHEN IM EXHAUSTED, AND RECENTLY??? MY BRAIN IS MAKING ME SO SO TIRED ~BUT MY PARTNER DOESNT JUDGE ME OR MIND MY RAMBLINGS ABOUT TROLLS OR MY REPETITIVENESS OR FIDGETING GODDAMN IT!! I DONT HAVE TO HOLD BACK OR WATCH WHAT I SAY LIKE HOW I DID EVERYDAY IN TEXAS!!! ~I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT I DID WRONG!!! ~”IM SORRY THAT I WAS SO EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE AND, DARE I SAY, MENTALLY ILL, THAT I NEGLECTED TO MESSAGE YOU AND TALK”

“I! CAN’T! DO! THIS! ANY! MORE!”

 - *either too cruel or too nice, too aggressive or too passive, too rough or too soft, im too sensitive/serious or “i need to learn to take a joke”, im either a disrespectful and ungrateful brat or the best goddamn trophy-tranny kid on the planet, i either really REALLY love someone or think “oh my god im gonna have to prepare to cut them out of my life so much that its already happened in my head”  ~im scared that maybe im worse than i think i am, and i just dont know it; ive never told anyone the full extent of my symptoms. i guess thats why im seeing a psychologist, right?