#drop it like it's hot ( TAG DROP )

[the-way-astray]

The Keefe Sencen Infantilization Argument (because I've seen people say that saying he infantilizes Sophie is a bad-faith argument):

(Note: This post is a repost. I had my thoughts scattered out over a few posts, so I wanted to put them all together in one cohesive post. If you've already seen all the original posts, then aside from like two sentences being reworked and the format being better now, there's like nothing new here for you. Sorry.)

Examples of Keefe infantilizing Sophie and my explanations as to why this is infantilization and not okay:

Lodestar, chapter 4. What I originally said: “There you go, rocking the whole adorable-when-you’re-angry thing. I think that’s what I’ve missed about you the most.” Keefe infantilizes Sophie by saying she’s cute when she’s angry. She is trying to express her feelings, and all Keefe can do is be all Awwwwww. Isn’t that so cute? She’s angry! How adorable. It’s a form of invalidating someone’s feelings, by treating them like they’re just entertainment or by brushing them off like that. It’s some of the most manipulative behavior out there. It also saves Keefe from having to actually take Sophie’s feelings into account. His infantilization of her also shows up in his incessant need to protect her. It’s icky and gross, and authors should stop encouraging this behavior.

Sophie and Keefe are having a mental conversation and Keefe starts talking about Sophie's love triangle/square situation and Sophie doesn't want to talk about it. Not a fan of this, because Keefe butts into Sophie's personal business, then when she gets worked up, he heavily implies that he thinks it's cute. But this one isn't particularly bad compared to the others. Don't get me wrong, I still think this is infantilization, but the best I can say about it is it's not the worst example.

Lodestar, chapter 46. What I originally said: “You’re so cute when you worry, he told her.” More classic Keefe infantilization. He once again invalidates Sophie’s feelings by dumbing them down and acting like they’re this cute, quirky, inconsequential thing.

Sophie is obviously incredibly worried. Keefe clearly knows this. And his comment is to be like Yeah, but don't you know that makes you sooooo cute??? Like, sir.

Lodestar, chapter 65. What I originally said: “Is this going to be another one of those nights where you spend the whole time yelling at me to come home? Keefe asked, making her sit up straighter as his thoughts filled her head. Because as much as I love it when you get all feisty on me, now’s really not a good time.” God, Keefe is so subtly invalidating. He treats Sophie like she’s just his personal worry machine, not a person with valid concerns and ideas. The flippant way he talks about her worry for him makes me so mad. He takes her worry for granted and throws it back in her face, without a care for how it would affect her mental health. He brushes her off and invalidates her because he thinks he’s so much smarter than everyone else. Not to mention he calls her worry “feisty” and further infantilizes her feelings and ideas.

This one honestly stands alone. Context doesn't really do anything to it. The infantilization for all these quotes is in the quote itself, because it is invalidating to treat someone's outburst of negative emotions as entertainment. Keefe basically just says that he finds it cute when she insists he comes home because she's worried about him??? He's like, yeah, Sophie's worried about me, tearing up her mental health over me, but like. She gets feisty when that all becomes externalized and she begs me to come home! Again, it's just a way he's able to brush Sophie's feelings off and disregard her opinion entirely.

When I say Keefe acts like Sophie is his personal worry machine, I'm saying he acts like her worry only exists for his amusement. He doesn't see the deeper feelings behind that worry (or if he does, he certainly doesn't respect them), and only see it for what he sees it as: something cute and adorable.

Nightfall, chapter 24. What I originally said: “‘I know! Our little girl is growing up and getting so snarky!’ Keefe pretended to wipe his teary eyes. ‘I’ve never been so proud.’” “Our little girl” . . . that totally isn’t creepy or infantilizing at all. The way Keefe talks about Sophie here is genuinely so gross, even if it is a joke. 

This is a joke. 100%. But it's a joke that sat very poorly with me because of the way Keefe verbalizes this. The problem for me is in the quote itself, again, because I feel like saying these sorts of things constantly is just so weird.

Nightfall, chapter 32. Wouldn't say what I originally said adds anything new, so I'm just gonna move past that. The larger problem here is 100% the fact that Keefe is clearly trying to joke to deflect Sophie's anger away. My argument isn't about that. My argument is that saying that someone's anger is adorable is textbook infantilization. In context, Keefe uses it as a way to deflect or joke. But the simple act of saying that is a form of invalidation where Sophie's emotions are made out to be some silly, inconsequential thing.

Anyway, about this quote in particular. Sophie is obviously freaking out, and she is clearly and seriously trying to tell him that his joking behavior is unacceptable. Keefe responds, not by listening at all to what Sophie said or what she's feeling, but by instead saying this. This invalidates Sophie's very real feelings as well as saves Keefe from having to confront what Sophie's telling him. And yes, this is a product of his deflection, but my point here is that saying someone's anger or worry is adorable or cute when they are trying to be serious is textbook infantilization, because it treats that opinion they have as a silly, child-like tantrum. "Awwww, isn't that anger adorable???" is what you say about a tantrum-throwing toddler who just got their favorite toy taken away, not someone your age presenting a valid, serious opinion. My issue is with the statement "Your anger/worry is adorable/cute" itself, not how Keefe uses it to deflect. It also presents Keefe, subtle as it may be, as the only one with valid opinions on things because Sophie's adorable little feelings get in the way of her rationality.

And before you say Sophie calls him out on this, yes, but he doesn't change. I'm not going to talk about it at length here, but Keefe apologizes to Sophie in the Nightfall scene after his bed rest more out of a desire to make up with her than a desire to change his bad habits. You can see this because he continues to do it into Unlocked.

Nightfall, chapter 34. Again, I don't think what I originally said adds anything relevant, so I'll skip that here.

The famous scene. I do admit that Sophie calls Keefe out this time. However, as I've already said, this doesn't stick, so it hardly matter. Keefe continues with this behavior through the series and into Unlocked, where he doesn't necessarily say these things out loud, but you can see he still thinks them.

Nightfall, chapter 70. What I originally said: “‘Much as I’m enjoying this sudden overflow of adorable Foster-rage—it’s not worth it.’” Ah, more of Keefe infantilizing Sophie and invalidating her feelings. If someone finds your anger or worry “adorable” and acts like it’s this cute little quirk, then that’s never a good thing. Especially if they enjoy it. Someone who cares about you should never enjoy seeing you angry or worried.

Sophie's having a serious, key word here is serious, discussion (we'll call it a discussion, even though that's not particularly correct) with Cassius, and even though her rage isn't aimed at him this time, Keefe telling Sophie her rage is adorable when she's being serious is still dumbing down her emotions to that of a toddler throwing a tantrum, not a grown-up (at least relative to Keefe) having a very valid reason to be angry. Just because he agrees with her anger, doesn't mean he can't still infantilize her.

Flashback, chapter 1, page 12. I think what I said in my original post just about sums it up: “‘You’re so adorable when you worry. I’ve told you that, right?’” (12) Yes, you have, and saying it more doesn’t make it any less icky and gross and infantilizing. It’s like he’s dumbing Sophie down to this object who only exists to entertain him with her adowabuw wittle feewings, instead of a person with very real, very complex emotions.

Keefe fans the air, so we have physical evidence he knows exactly how worried Sophie is. And his response is to be like, so cute! So adorable! Once again, this is serious, and Keefe is acting like Sophie's worry exists only to amuse or entertain him. I don't know else to communicate that that isn't a good thing. Someone being worried usually means they have something they're worrying about, worry doesn't just manifest out of thin air for entertainment's sake. Sophie also responds poorly to his writing her off, with what and the glare and all.

(Side note: When I was looking for that quote, I found a quote where Fitz says the exact same thing, I'm talking word-for-word "adorable when you worry" stuff. Like I mentioned in my disclaimers, I'm not saying he's more right for this and I'm not letting him off the hook. It's icky when Keefe does it and it's icky when Fitz does it. But I'm solely focused on Keefe, which is why I'm not bringing that up. It's also worth it to note that Fitz doesn't say this over and over again, the way Keefe does.)

Flashback, chapter 17, page 304. I think I'm just going to copy-paste exactly what I said in my original post because it's exactly what I'm trying to say: “‘Hear that, Ro?’ he interrupted. ‘She’s giving me her serious voice.’” (304) Another example of Keefe infantilizing Sophie and dumbing her feelings down for the sake of a joke. Awwww, isn’t her serious voice so cute? She only does that when she thinks she has something important to say to us grown-ups! Awwwwwww. 

Apparently, people don't get why this is a bad thing, so: acting like someone isn't being serious when you can literally feel their emotions and know they're being serious just because you don't like what they're saying is not just invalidation, but infantilization, because you are dumbing their emotions and the complexities behind them down to that of a child attempting to be serious.

I'd also argue that this shows Keefe's true colors: he only really listens to her opinions and respects them when he agrees with them. Disagreeing with someone is all fine and good, but you can still respect the other person's opinion and not dumb it down and act like it's lesser than your own. If Keefe said "Sophie, I hear you, but I think you're wrong" (in Keefe jokester language, obviously, not word-for-word what I wrote) then I wouldn't call this infantilization, I'd call it respect. My problems arise from when Keefe acts like Sophie's opinions are stupid because Sophie is the one saying them with that adorable little pouty voice.

Flashback, chapter 21, page 355. What I originally said: “It’s always fun when you get feisty.” (355) I’ve said this about a gajillion times, but Keefe’s infantilization of Sophie is so horrific, it’s like he doesn’t care about her at all. He just sees her emotions as amusement for himself.

This is a sad scene, and Keefe has every right to be emotionally . . . off in this scene. But it still doesn't change the fact that he calls Sophie's anger "feistiness" and then says it's fun when she gets angry. You could say that's not exactly what he said, but it's likely that's what he meant given the past few quotes I've shown. Keefe has demonstrated a pattern of thinking Sophie's anger is amusing or adorable or fun. Anger is a negative emotion. When Sophie feels anger she doesn't feel good. And Keefe is like, yeah, but it's cute! Do you see how that's not the greatest thing to say? It says a lot about his internalized beliefs about Sophie, and is essentially confirmed by Unlocked. And even if that didn't represent the way he saw Sophie inside, that's still a really shitty thing to say because it still carries the invalidation.

Legacy, chapter 3, page 70. What I originally said: “‘Tell me why you have that cute little crease between your eyebrows.’” (70) You already know what I’m going to say. Keefe finding Sophie’s worry cute is textbook infantilization. But also, if he finds her worry and anger so adorable, what’s he gonna do when the Neverseen are defeated and Sophie doesn’t have as many things worrying her?

So, the crease between the eyebrows is obviously because of worry. So by saying he finds it cute, Keefe indirectly says he finds Sophie's worry cute, though I'm sure I don't have to spell that out because he's already flat out admitted he finds Sophie's worry cute several times. I'm going to sound like a broken record if I repeat what I've been saying this entire post about why this is infantilization, so instead I wanna talk about that last paragraph there. Keefe literally knows how queasy Sophie's worry can make her sometimes, and he has expressed this before, as well. So he knows exactly what Sophie's going through when she worries. And still, he acts like her worry is amusing, funny, cute, or otherwise a quirky little thing. I don't understand how Keefe can be so invalidating, having had firsthand experience with Sophie's emotions.

“But I was only half listening because she gets this cute little crinkle between her eyebrows when she’s trying to be serious, and it makes me want to reach up and smooth her forehead with my fingertip—and I’m betting she’d think I was super weird if I did that, since it’s not like she’s my . . . ” (Unlocked, very first paragraph of Keefe's diary entry, 481)

Don't have an e-book of Unlocked, unfortunately (boooooooo). So the context is that Keefe is giving us (or himself???) an intro to what he's doing here, which is writing about his drawings. He explains that Sophie gave him the idea and gives a general overview of what she said to convince him. Then he says this quote.

Here's what I said, which I stand by: I hate the way Keefe talks about Sophie. She’s just this soft, kind of ditzy, child-like sort of figure in his head. He admits that he doesn’t care what she has to say, he just cares about how adorable she looks while she says it. This is a textbook sign of a toxic relationship. You should care about what your partner/crush says, because that shows that you see them as a person, not as your personal cover model. Also “trying to be serious” paints Sophie as this impudent little child who’s trying to get the attention of the older, more experienced adults and it very much implies that Sophie is not serious, but awwww, look how cute she looks trying to be serious, isn’t it adorable? Except Keefe and Sophie are the same age. So this is another case of textbook infantilization.

Personally, I think I made it fairly clear why I think this is infantilization. Keefe did not listen to the latter half of what Sophie said because he was too busy imagining how adorable she must've looked as she said it. I don't know how to make it more clear that Keefe does not respect or care about Sophie's opinions. He did what she asked, sure, but he did not actually listen to her. Again, implying Sophie was not being serious when she was is infantilization. It takes away the weight of what Sophie is saying and makes it out to be a thing of like, Oh well, Sophie told me to, so I guess I'll humor her adorable little wishes and give it a shot, but let's get back to what's more important here, which is how cute she probably looks! I don't know how else to explain that that's not an attitude you want in someone who claims to listen to you and respect you.

Addressing some other things (Keefe calling Sophie herself cute [1], Keefe's deflection [2], Keefe praising Sophie's prowess [3], Sophie not seeming bothered [4], and The Real Problem [5]):

I don't think Keefe calling Sophie herself cute or adorable by itself is infantilization. That's just a cute, fluffy teenage crush. 100% cool with that. My problem is with Keefe dumbing Sophie's negative emotions that have complexities behind them down to something cute or inconsequential by calling them adorable. There's a quote in the diary entries where Keefe describes Sophie's blush as adorable and proceeds to describe it in vivid detail. I don't like it for personal taste reasons, but I would never argue that this is infantilization. Because. It's not. There is no dumbing down of emotions here, no shrugging off experience or maturity. There's just a kid with a crush.

As for Keefe's habit of deflecting stuff through jokes, yes, it's a flaw and yes, some of the times Keefe infantilizes Sophie, he's using it as a joke to deflect. Yes, that's the larger issue. But the point still stands that the way in which he thinks of Sophie's worry and anger is infantilization.

There are moments where Keefe talks nonstop (sometimes in a very unnatural way, in my opinion) about how powerful and amazing and brilliant and talented and spectacular Sophie is and how he respects her choices and whatnot. I don't see this as particularly contradictory to his infantilization. Keefe can dumb Sophie's emotions down to cute, inconsequential little playthings while also insisting that he thinks she's amazing and powerful. I do think he does think that she's incredibly talented, but he also invalidates or disrespects her choices because he sees her emotions as adorable and unserious. Sophie is objectively powerful and talented and smart, I'm not really sure how saying those clear facts out loud changes the fact that Keefe still sees Sophie as very juvenile in his head. He can respect her prowess and capacity for talent while still disrespecting her opinions and emotions. The two can coexist. This is why I say Keefe pedestalizes and infantilizes Sophie simultaneously.

As for saying this doesn't bother Sophie (except in that one instance where she glares at him), I'd hardly say it matters. People can be the object of toxic behavior without realizing it. Sophie doesn't really seem to care past a handful of seconds when Keefe reads her emotions without her permission (on purpose, with intention), but I think most of us would agree that that doesn't make it acceptable. And Keefe's infantile views of Sophie say more about him than they do Sophie, which is the argument I'm trying to make. My point is that Keefe sees Sophie's emotions as inconsequential little things that don't need to be taken into account. This is all mapped into how he sees her internally. Again, just because Sophie doesn't seem bothered by Keefe's comments, doesn't mean they're acceptable, especially considering it gives us a view into the way he truly sees Sophie. And if Keefe thinks of Sophie is such an invalidating way, how are we supposed to believe he'll respect her when she argues with him, instead of just writing it off as "that adorable rage"?

And last but not least (as this is literally the reason people are annoyed with Keefe, regardless of what flaw you're talking about): the infantilization isn't the problem. Not really. What the problem is is that it is never called out by the narrative and when it is, it lasts two seconds, doesn't stick, and Keefe continues with it having not learned a thing. He doesn't change, and I can give you a thousand explanations for why Keefe may be so prone to infantilizing Sophie based on his childhood, trauma, and everything else, but none of that is an excuse. And I'm certainly not a fan of the way we're constantly told that Keefe respects Sophie when he's clearly so ready to undermine her emotions or dumb them down. If you're going to have him say things like this, it should be understandable that it's not a good thing.

I think it all comes down to this: Imagine you were trying to get a very serious point across to someone or otherwise feeling very emotional over something and then you look over and the other person's reaction is like, Aw, you're so cute when you're all worked up trying to be serious! Anger so adorable! Worry so cute! I love it when you get feisty! Wouldn't you feel like they don't respect what you're saying? Is that not incredibly icky and weird?

Here is the definition of infantilization. I think it's very difficult to make an argument that Keefe is not doing this to Sophie. And if you think that's bad, oh boy, is it so. Much. Worse. In the actual Unlocked novella. It's very difficult to deny that Keefe only sees Sophie as an adorable little cute thing that amuses him when you read it. But I'll get there . . .

Anyway I'm leaving it off with this because these are the vibes I get from Keefe every time he makes an infantilizing comment about Sophie (minus the yelling, Keefe doesn't really yell):

[oatmealcrisp-freak]

"shipping saiki is aphobic because he's aroace!"

stares at you with my demiromantic asexual in a committed relationship eyes then looks at the camera like im in the office

[batsplat]

following on from this. not to always bring marc into everything (sorry marc) but if assen 2015 had happened against jorge, valentino would have very likely pulled something similar again imo. rather than what he actually did, which is approach marc almost immediately for a nice normal friendly handshake and backing off during the podium celebrations. should be noted that during laguna seca '08, valentino was very much committed to yapping at casey on the podium with the world's biggest smuggest grin on his face

partly that disparity is because jorge not marc was the direct title rival, partly it's because valentino was treating marc with kid gloves right until the second that he wasn't, which marc was seemingly entirely oblivious to. if anyone other than marc had said what he said in that presser, had then continued on with similar rhetoric during sachsenring, valentino would quite likely have gone nuclear. he's done it over less than that. his fondness for marc made him continue to exhibit uncharacteristic restraint... except that fondness unfortunately is what left valentino feeling so very betrayed when (to his eyes) marc could not leave well enough alone

[tj-crochets]

Hey y'all! The AC in my house is like half-broken and I have all the heat tolerance of a particularly sad penguin*, so I could use some advice. I am from a desert area, so I know the stay hydrated, electrolytes, loose clothes type advice, but do you have any advice for handling the heat in humid areas specifically? Also, does anyone have any recommendations for sun hats? Specific sun hats you recommend are what I'm looking for, but if you don't have a specific one an idea of what criteria I should look for would be very helpful too *I say this jokingly, idk how much heat tolerance penguins actually have. I have POTS, salt wasting syndrome, and some unknown autoimmune issue that probably involves my endocrine system? Docs are still working on it but the sum total is I cannot exist in hot temperatures

[prozac-shaped-urn]

OH. OH GOD NO. OH FU-- JESUS NO

guys im losing it im fucking losing it jean is wearing richard's ring in this scene

GUYS I'M LOSING MY GODDAMN MIND I CANNOT TAKE THIS IT HURTS TOO MUCH

[apnourry]

rediscovering this gem of a pose

[autism-alley]

LETS GO!!!!!!

also means y’all are free to criticize the show w/o fear of show cancelation (however real that threat ever rly was lmao) cheers to my hopes of shit getting fixed s2

[wyrmswears]

>calls himself the biggest athena cykes fan

>probably hasn't drawn her in ages

WYRM IS A FRAUD!!! UNFOLLOW HIM NOW!!!

WHY ARE YOU COMING INTO MY HOUSE JUST TO BULLY ME,,, MAYBE IVE BEEN WRITING ATHENA, HUH!? ATHENA IS ARRESTED AU SNIPPET BE UPON YOU!!!

As they approached, Cykes slipped the round metallic object into her trouser pocket.

Apollo eyed where it had disappeared and considered asking her about it, but with her fingers already reaching for her moon charm he decided it wasn’t worth stressing her about. Besides, there was something more on his mind.

“You knew all along, didn’t you? That Mayor Tenma was the Amazing Ninetales?” It was partly a bluff, but he was well enough versed in them to know that he had a good chance of being right here. Apollo had reached more than a dead end trying to figure out how L’Belle could have disguised himself well enough that Mayor Tenma’s own daughter would’ve fallen for it; it was only when the prosecution pointed out her reluctance to admit of a possible disguise that the pieces had truly clicked, and Apollo was starting to wonder if Prosecutor Blackquill was truly bragging out of his own confidence or if he himself had been a victim to the power of suggestion.

She fiddled with her ponytail, fingers combing through the ginger strands. “I had a suspicion. You were the ones to really figure it out though.”

“Thank you, Miss Cykes.” Apollo relented. He was starting to realise that perhaps he had been too harsh on her, making dangerous assumptions from too little information. It seemed that he had reached the point in the case that it was time to turn around his thinking. “I mean it.” He added, wanting to assure her of his newfound sincerity while wondering how much of his distrust she had picked up of his over the last couple days. If you had asked him before this case, he would have never thought that he would be so scared of a psychologist.

Miss Cykes paused, and studied him for a moment. It was almost enough to make him wonder if that was how his witnesses felt under his perception; the creeping feeling of being seen straight through was beginning to establish itself as omni-present when around her. After a moment, she shook her head. “Athena”, she stated, her voice oddly serious. “Please, I prefer to be called Athena.”

“Oh.” Apollo paused, trying to think of what to say, but Trucy broke the lull in conversation as she swung an arm around his neck (almost toppling him over in the process) and leant towards Miss Cy- Athena with a wide grin.

“Well then, it’s nice to meet you, Athena!” She hummed, swinging on her feet.

Athena paused for a moment and stared blankly at them both, in the same thoughtful way she always does. Then, her shoulders relaxed. “It’s nice to meet you too, Trucy. Apollo.”

And at that moment, she smiled in front of them for the first time.

It was not a cruel smile, not like Apollo would have suspected of her when he first heard of her status as an inmate; instead it’s gentle and shy, but it’s the kind that Trucy relishes in most when she finally extracts it from her audience, and Apollo can tell by the way she straightened at his side that she was taking it in with even more satisfaction than he was.

And if Trucy looked like the only thing keeping her from inviting Athena to Eldoon’s noodles was the detective waiting to escort her away… well, Apollo thought to himself, they’ve had weirder allies.

[oldmisfortune]

Finally got to finishing the comic idea that's been haunting me lately ;; i got super lazy with some of the poses and just copy-pasted them xD i hope this amuses people as much as it amused me :)

This is happening in my personal alternative ANE where Ez got dragged back to the guard and Nevra isn't a stuck up at first anymore and oh look! My oc is also there!! (I haven't decided on a name yet ;;;;;;)

[everythingdestroyingme]

I never thought this would happen. I thought for someone not to leave me, abandon me, I’d have to carve away at myself, like a whittled wooden cube or an amateur’s apprentice’s marble statue.

But here I am, still me, still myself, but with opened eyes and a heart that might just have made space for myself.

I always thought if I were to have a longterm partner, I would need to become something I’m not, pretend to feel something I couldn’t, deal with things I once thought were normal. I’ve found that’s not the case at all.

I never thought I’d feel love. I never thought I’d understand it’s hearts pull. I was comfortable in my aromanticism. I accepted it, and myself. But I wanted desperately, enough to claw at the mud lined walls of the pit I called my home, to find someone who wouldn’t leave me. It didn’t have to romantic, it just needed to last.

Eight months ago I met a boy. I never expected much, boys only really interested me in my head. I’d always imagined myself with a woman because then she’d understand what I couldn’t give her and what I could.

But six months ago this boys told me he loved me and hasn’t let go of my hand.

I met a boy with toasted marshmallows for his eyes and hair made of winter mountain cabins and slow dancing in refracted moonlight. I met a boy whose mind complements mine. Our mouths can jabber on in our sleep in our wake in our new apartment just down the line.

He taught me to love, showed me the motions showed me the rush and the flush and then tender touch of someone who’s world has become yours.

At the end of it all he’s made me understand myself and my feelings more than I ever could. I’m still asexual, I’m still biromantic, and I’m certain I’m still on the aro-spectrum. But I’ve found that one person that showed me what love feels like and I’m more comfortable than I have ever been with myself and who I am.

[nerice]

CALLING MY LAWYERS RN.

[greyias]

So I’ve reached a point where I’m seriously considering going back to an earlier save file to revert a choice I made. Because the further I go on, the more I realize my previous decision is just not working for me. (It’s not the mushroom — the mushroom is just gone, there’s no going back. My stupid paladin ate it mid-battle and choices or misclicks in this case have consequences).

No. This is bigger than all of that. I’ve tried to move on, gone through several cutscenes and battles and can confidently say.

This adamantine armor.

is ugly af.

And I miss my girl having this somewhat iconic (in my mind) look that I’ve associated her with. Are the stats better on the adamantine armor? SURE. Does it make my AC higher? YEAH. Can no one score a critical on me while I’m wearing it. DOT DOT DOT YES.

But it’s also way too shiny and bright and reflective. It washes out her face in cutscenes. YOU CAN’T SEE HER FRECKLES. Those freckles are important! The neck on it is too tall. The silhouette is all wonky and square and bulky. It glows in weird spots. It dyes horribly and is just distractingly shiny in every cutscene. I even tried to give it a cape to make it look all fancy and it just didn’t matter.

And she just looks like some generic MMO character now.

Where is my crest of devotion? My lovely blue tabard? The loving and intiricate golden embroidery? Where is the fashion my dears? Is it smart to wear my starting armor to end or even mid game content? NO. Maybe I'll live through a fight but at what cost???? Look at that face! How can I make her wear something ugly?

She deserves the best.

So either I give it to another party member who could use a boost in AC and the ability to resist crits… or I roll back (thankfully not too far, just the Arcane Tower bits) and create an adamantine shield. Thankfully, I had enough foresight to create a save file called “second forge item”, so I don’t have to go through that boss fight again. But like… DECISIONS MAN.

[rosewood-multifandom-writer]

You wanna know a surprisingly good lesson I learned from Fictif? Remember Fictif everyone? The visual novel app that had empty promises for the female love interests, and used representation as a marketing tool before Nix Hydra decided to just sell their apps to another company just cuz?

Anyways, as disappointing as Hollywoodland was, I did learn something that stuck with me for a while. It’s that saying from that predictably evil old dude whose name I forgot who said, “If you’re early, you’re on time. If you’re on time, then you’re late. If you’re late, you’re screwed.”

I know it’s like kicking someone even though they are already down for the count, but the fact that they messed up the story, but accidentally gave a good life lesson for me.

[flying-bi-son]

.

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

Hello!

I stumbled upon your blog when searching for anything about Hiron Ennes’ book Leech and ur blog is so nice! I love Leech so so much and am hoping to find folks to talk about it with because I’ve been obsessed with it since I read it over year ago. I hope this isn’t too weird of an ask but it’s just such an excellent book!

hello and welcome, and thanks for your kind words!! it's delightful to find another LEECH enthusiast in the wild--what a deeply fucked up weird little book that has my whole heart!

i was actually shuffling books around last weekend to make space for what i'll read this year (i'm in a temporary living situation, so most of my library is in storage), and i decided to leave LEECH unboxed so i can reread it this fall. i'm obsessed with the POV and the voice and i'm VERY looking forward to a tear-it-apart reread now that i know some of what is going on. what a neat book!!

[squishosaur]

cause i feel weak– and your hands!! and your feet!! are precious and i'll never feel your touch