#drove to my parents house today for my vacation break n my dad was like hi im flying to denver next week wanna come lol

[sunnysheep]

i can't believe my first in-preson nhl hockey game is going to be watching the colorodo avalanche but i guess when you're in denver..

[generallybarzy]

smile like sunshine iv

Tuesday: ~ 7.9k I’M SO SORRY

previous chapters: i // ii // iii

an: I HAD WRITERS BLOCK BUT THEN IT ALL HIT ME AT ONCE. I thought it was gonna be a short filler chapter but.... 7.9k words later here we are... I realized that I probably should’ve given mc a real name and stuff because it’s so specific about certain details, but it’s too late to change that, so we’ll all have to deal with it unfortunately. Also, from here on out there is a warning for nsfw thoughts! Anyway, enjoy! @thirteenisles!!

summary: Much, much different from yesterday, today is the yearly fishing trip, so you and Mat are- unfortunately- apart for a good part of the day. Mat and your father come to a silent agreement and you look for a distraction in an old flame to keep you from falling more in love with your friend. Mat doesn’t like sharing this place in your mind with anyone else...

It’s the summer of ‘19, eleven years after you first met Mat, and things are bound to be a little different this time around. 

You woke up the next day with a smile on your face, giddy and excited before you even opened your eyes. You had fallen asleep happy and tired and full of warmth the night before, cuddled up against Mat’s side as he drove back to the beach house. He only woke you with soft whispers when it was time to undress for bed; you woke up in his arms realizing he had carried you all the way from the car to your room. So, your mind raced with images of Mat- his smile, his laughter, his eyes, his body- it was all overwhelming enough to stir up passionate dreams about him. Dreams about his skin against yours, weightless in the water, his big hands on you, his body hovering over top of yours, his dark hair falling into his eyes as he moved on top of you... 

Rolling over in bed and trying to control yourself, you opened your phone and went into your gallery, into the folder of all your pictures of Mat from yesterday that you would continue to fill throughout the week. 

And though you’d only been apart from him for the eight hours of sleep, you needed to see him in person.

Mat was in the room across the hall, drifting in and out of sleep with a smile on his face as he thought back to yesterday. He reached over to the bedside table so he could scroll through his own phone. You had asked him yesterday to take a picture of you for your Instagram, posing for him and smiling with the ocean in the background, and he couldn’t look away from them. You looked so good yesterday in that little bikini, all spread out on the paddleboard and soaking up the sunlight, and, as much as he wanted to keep his head out of the gutters around you, there was just something about you. If only you knew the effect you had on him.

“Kids, get up! We’ve got a lot planned for today!” 

He jumped, hearing your mother’s voice in the hall outside your rooms, and sat up a little bit more in bed, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He had to admit, this trip would be a little bit more fun if your family wasn’t here as well; if every day could be like yesterday. But hoping to be alone with you for every second of the day was a fantasy, and he knew it. He was still technically intruding on your family vacation.

There was a knock at his door, and for a horrible moment, he thought it was one of your parents before your voice sounded from the other side. “Mat? It’s me.” 

“Yeah, come in.” If only he was ready for what he was about to see. Yeah, he saw you in a bikini yesterday, but this was just as good… You walked into his room in a little tank top and booty shorts, what you had slept in, your messy hair thrown up in a bun. He didn’t want to stare too much, but were you braless? Yeah, you definitely were. He shuffled around under the sheets, making sure you wouldn’t be able to see what you were doing to him. He was lucky you knocked first, or who knows what he could’ve been doing?

Seeing Mat lying in bed was… a sight. His dark hair was haloing around his head on the pillow, he was tangled in the white sheets, and half of his upper chest and arms were exposed and already looking beautifully tanned. “You’ll never guess what today is.”

Mat ran a hand through his hair and let out a puff of air. “Your birthday’s tomorrow, so I have no idea.” 

“It’s the family fishing trip! Remember that?”

Oh, he remembers it. He remembers going out onto the water in a rented boat with his dad and yours, watching in amazement at the huge fish they caught in the ocean. He remembers playing with you on the little dock, daring you to jump from it and into the ocean. Of course, your parents always stopped you from doing that. “No way, you still do that?” 

“Yup, it’s tradition.”

“The same place every year?” 

“Same place.” 

“Maybe this year you won’t be too afraid to jump off the dock.” He smirked, and it was a sight that flooded heat all the way through your body.

“Shut up, Mat! I wasn’t afraid to, my parents just never let me!” He laughed at that, sitting up and letting the sheets fall off his bare chest. “And you know that, too! You just love to get on my nerves.” Oh, that was only one of many things he’d love to do to you.  

“Maybe. But you brought me on this trip anyway.”  

“Don’t make me regret that, Maty.” You swatted his bare leg away from you as he stretched out in bed, and he couldn’t help but smile at the touch. “Get up, we gotta get ready for today. I’ve got a feeling it’s gonna be pretty fun.” And when you turned and left, Mat had to bite his lip to hold back any reaction to the way your legs looked in those shorts. He tossed his head back to his pillow and stared up at the ceiling.

Yeah, today was gonna be fun.

Back when you and Mat first met, your parents and his immediately got along. He had begged and begged his parents to talk to yours and let him go along on the family fishing trip, mostly because you had cried to him and told him you didn’t want to be alone. Of course, they had to go meet your parents first and come along, but when they finally agreed that Mat could come along, you were over the moon. 

 Since you reconnected almost a year ago, Mat had told his parents about you. He called them the day after you approached him in the bar, when he went out to lunch with you to talk, the moment he knew he was going to try and befriend you again. He was excited when he called them, asking in a frenzy if they still remembered that girl he hung out with the summer of 2008. Of course, they remembered her, they had told him, she was the first crush he ever had. "Oh, your first girlfriend!" his mom had exclaimed. "Mom!" Flustered, Mat shook off those words. No, you were nothing more than friends. 

That’s what he had thought, anyway, up until a few months ago. 

Now, after being alone with you yesterday, he knew: this was much more than friendship.

The place your dad went to go fishing every year was a cute empty spot of beach, with deep water and a small dock where you and your siblings and friends always used to play. Where you used to play with Mat, that summer, when he dared you to jump in but you were too scared. Where you continued to come back to years after until Mat was just a fading memory and your parents urged you to meet new friends. And where, years later, you had your first kiss, with some random boy you met three days before and who you thought was cute.  

“This is where it all began.” You spread your arms wide in a flourish, presenting the dock to Mat when you arrived. He glanced around- yes, this was where it all began. 

“It definitely looks a lot smaller than when we were kids.” 

“Yeah, probably because we grew up.” 

“Aww, if we grew up does that mean I can’t push you in anymore?” 

“Don’t even think about it, Barzal.” Before Mat had the chance to even try to push you in, you were cut off by the sound of an approaching boat out on the water. “Bet, Mat. Wanna push me into the water in front of my dad? I dare you.” He smiled and held up his hands in surrender. Usually, your dad took your brother along with him, but this year it seemed he had other plans. 

“You like to fish, Mathew?”

“Uh,” he glanced at you for help, obviously not yet sure how to talk to your dad. 

“Yeah, he’s pretty good at fishing.”

“Great! Hop on. We’ll have some one-on-one time.”

“Okay, cool.” The moment he turned away, Mat whispered to you: “He’s going to throw me off the boat.”

“Don’t be so dramatic, Mat. He doesn’t hate you. You’ll probably just talk about fish or sports.” 

“But don’t you want me here with you?”

“I’ll be fine alone for a bit.”

Mat couldn’t lie- he wasn’t the happiest at how this day was gonna pan out. He wanted one-on-one time with you, not your dad. They had already had that talk at the motel when he ever so kindly told him not to make a move on his daughter, so he wasn’t sure what else could happen. But if this is what he had to go through to get on your dad’s good side, he was gonna try his hardest. So here he sat, kinda awkwardly, next to him, a fishing rod in his hands. 

“So, Mathew, You were gone with (Y/N) yesterday...”

“Uhh, yeah.” 

“What’d the two of you do?” 

He was at a loss for words. What could he say?  “Oh, just uhh, took a drive down to another beach, had lunch.”

“Hmm. But you didn’t try anything?” 

“No, no nothing!”

“I hope not. Otherwise, we’d really have a problem.” Mat couldn’t find a way to respond to that. As much as he wanted to make a move, he knew here wasn’t the ideal place to do it. No, he’d wait until he wasn’t sharing a roof with your father. “Mathew, I still remember what you said at the motel.” Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Of course, he did. “But you understand where I’m coming from, don’t you?” 

“I- I‘m not sure.”

“You seem like an… okay, guy. A good friend to her. But I’ve seen plenty of guys who seemed okay and ended up breaking her heart. I won’t let that happen again.” Mat wanted to tell him that it wasn’t up to him to decide who his daughter could date, but he knew that that might be the dumbest possible thing to say, so he held his tongue. “I know what young, professional athletes are like. While I respect the sport, you’re not the type of guy I want my daughter with.” He didn’t like the idea that you’d had your heart broken before. He never wanted to do that to you, and your father just had a way of making him doubt himself. 

“I understand.” Mat’s eyes drifted to where you stood down on the sand, barely able to make out your form from this distance, as he wondered what you were doing. 

You were collecting shells, walking side by side with your sister, and catching up with a little bit of girl talk. 

“Sooo, this Mat guy?” 

“Yeah?” You couldn’t help the smile that was pulling onto your face at just the sound of his name. “What about him?”

“Well, he’s an NHL player, first of all.” 

“He’s a lot more than that.” And he was. It may sound strange to others, but he meant everything to you. Ever since that summer where he had been your refuge, he’d been the one you thought about to calm down. He’d been your happy memory. He’d been the dream you could only hope you never forgot. And he became so much more in the past few months. It was a little weird at first when your roommate teased you about your “summer romance” with this boy you didn’t even know, but suddenly you didn’t want to deny it. Maybe this time around, you would come back with an even better story than before. 

“Yeah. He’s also pretty hot.”

“Trust me, I know.” You weren’t shallow, but yeah, the cherry on top was how attractive he just happened to be.

“What are you two? Friends? Maybe moooore?”

“No, no, no, just friends.” Your answer was quick- almost too quick- as if you were trying to cover something up. A silence fell between you and you realized just how in denial you sounded. “But he just means a lot to me, ya know? You heard the story about how we met, right? Mom’s obsessed with telling it.”

“Yeah, of course. If you ask me, kinda sounds like looooove.” 

“Shut up.” 

“Seriously, if this were a movie, I’d watch the shit out of it. Imagine the ratings a plot like that would get! It’s like a teen summer romance but... wholesome and cute! I’m sure everyone has a childhood friend they became separated from. Imagine reading this summary: A boy and girl meet and become best friends only to be separated after one summer of romance-” 

“Ew, don’t say romance! We were like, ten.”

“-After a summer of almost-romance where they were obviously in love even if their little brains couldn’t comprehend it. They reconnect years later, only to realize what they felt all those years ago was much more than friendship.” 

You laughed, but couldn’t help imagining how that story would end. What was your sister, a psychic? “Okay, that’s not quite how it goes, but can we just… stop talking about him? It’s weird.” For the last few months, there had been a weird feeling in your chest whenever you discussed your relationship with Mat. Okay, maybe- just maybe- you had a little crush. A tiny crush. Nothing that meant anything, nothing that wouldn’t be easy to get over. It sucked to have a crush on one of your best friends, to have a crush on the boy you brought along on this trip to use as a distraction from everything else. 

You glanced out to where you could barely see Mat’s figure on the boat with your father. His features were indistinguishable, but you could see the outline of his body and the dark swoop of hair on his head standing out against the blue sky. It wasn’t like Mat was interested in you at all, he was an NHL player, a star at that. He probably had countless girl’s numbers lined up in his contacts that he could date at any given moment, there’s no way he’d settle for a childhood friend he’d only known for a year. Just because he came on this trip with you and promised to be your distraction, didn’t mean he liked you like that. No, if anything, he was here for nostalgia- for looking back on that summer when you were carefree children- not because he had any type of romantic feelings for you. Not because he loved you. Yet, despite this, you couldn’t seem to control yourself around him.

You desperately needed a distraction from Mat, or else you’d end up doing something you couldn’t come back from. 

You dropped your gaze to the sand to look for any pretty, unbroken shells hiding among the piles beneath your feet. The tide had come in high earlier this morning, leaving behind a mess of little shards of broken shells and rocks. Maybe, if you were lucky, you’d find one that was whole. 

“Ooh, look at this one!” Your sister held up a pretty shell, still in one piece, colored all the shades of a sunset. 

“Oh, man that’s pretty! I wish I could’ve found one that nice.”

“Don’t look too hard. It was right in front of you the whole time.”

You walked silently, pondering over her words, and searching for something better when a third voice spoke up from a little distance in front of you.  

“No way, (Y/N)?”

It was a voice you’d never thought you’d hear again, but when you looked up towards it, you realized this trip might just get a lot more interesting. Your sister nudged you and made her exit, knowing exactly who this was and wanting to give you alone time with him. 

Maybe this was exactly what you needed to take your mind off of Mat.

Back in 2008, when you were only ten years old, you thought the world of Mat. You thought he was the coolest person you knew, at the beach or at home. He was your closest friend, but for some reason, neither of your young brains realized that you should get each other’s parent’s phone numbers or addresses so you could keep in touch. You left the beach that year with nothing on your mind but Mat, and your parent’s loved to tease you to this day that he was the only person you talked about for months. When next summer rolled around, you were pouty and angry that he was nowhere to be found. And that continued for years to come. 

Slowly, over the years you went on family vacations in that same house, you began, with your parent’s urging, to try and push your memories of Mat to the back of your mind and make new friends with the local kids your age. And slowly, you began to forget about Mat. Or, that’s how you thought it would happen. Sure, there were times you went without thinking of him for a while, but something would always end up reminding you of him. But you pushed it aside. He’s long gone, you’d told yourself, no point in dwelling on the past. None of your new friends could compare to the fun Mat had been, but they were great friends, and now you were young teenagers having fun, getting into trouble together, and experiencing all your firsts together.

This guy- Kyle- was one of those firsts. 

The summer you turned seventeen, there was a new guy among your beachy friend-group. He was your age, and he could already drive, and that made his curly, blonde, surfer boy look even more attractive to all the girls who knew him. As much as you hated to admit today, you weren’t an exception. Yeah, you thought he was cute. No, there wasn’t much about him beyond that, as shallow as it was, but at least he had seemed to care about you that night when he walked you away from the other teens, partying and drinking and walked you out to the dock and kissed you under the stars. He had said all the right things that night, and a few nights later, and later, and later.

You went that whole summer thinking that the two of you were together, but apparently, you’d missed the memo that he was seeing other girls, too. He’d promised he didn’t mean to hurt you but learning that it wasn’t the two of you, learning that he was with other girls too and the whole summer had been a lie made your self-esteem plummet. It hurt like hell, being your first heartbreak, and it was the worst possible way to end a beach trip tradition. 

But he wasn’t a bad guy, not really. He was a young, stupid, teenage boy, right? And he said he didn’t mean to hurt you. No reason to hate him. 

Now, almost exactly four years since you met him, he walked next to you down the beach as you combed for shells, a quietness settling over you. It wasn't a comfortable silence like with Mat, but something uneasy, something tense and awkward. Why was he here? Was it appropriate to just… walk up to your ex and start chatting like old friends? Maybe he was just trying to be civil, courteous- if that’s what this was, you… hesitantly respected that. It probably took as much courage as when you approached Mat for the first time- both times. But, if he was looking for something more…

“So, you been dating at all?”

“Sure I have. I mean, it’s been...almost four years?” Truthfully, you’ve barely been dating. Nothing serious, at least. But you knew it would sound so sad if he was the last “serious” relationship you had. 

“You disappeared after what happened between us. For four years. I thought maybe you couldn’t face me afterward or something.”

“No.” You bit your tongue, not really wanting to bring up old bad blood or reopen old scars. “Life just got in the way. After that year I had a job, then I was moving out, going to college. Just didn’t have time to come down anymore.”

“That sucks. We’ve all really missed you down here.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” He smiled, dropping an arm around your shoulder. You knew he didn’t mean it in a romantic way, it was such a thing he would do, and it wasn’t like he hadn’t done it before. “We’re actually having a party on Friday. Think you can make it?” Could you make it? It was going to be the night before you had to leave, your last night on the beach, and as much as you wanted to do something alone with Mat, you knew it was inappropriate to cling on him as if he was something more than a friend. As if he was yours. But you needed to take a step back before you did something you couldn’t take back. 

Maybe this was the perfect distraction from Mat.

“I’ll be there.”

After their first discussion, Mat had fallen in and out of uncomfortable small talk with your father for what felt like hours. And now, as they got ready to head back to shore for a quick lunch, he could confirm that he was one hundred percent still not on his good side.  It seemed like no matter what he tried, your father didn’t want anything to do with him. Maybe it was best this way, indifference is better than hate, isn’t it?

“Shit...” 

“Huh?” Mat looked up when your father swore next to him. He was glaring up the shoreline as they approached the dock, out to where you were. And then he noticed, with a jolt to his heart, that you weren’t alone out there. Standing next to you in the sand was a generic-looking douchebag surfer dude. He was standing way, way too close to you for his comfort, with an arm thrown over your shoulders like you were old buddies. “Who’s that?” 

“It’s not really any of your business, is it?” He glanced over and, for a moment, Mat regretted asking anything, not wanting to stir up any drama. “But... seeing as you’re here as her friend, maybe you can talk some sense into her.” 

“About what?”

“It���s not my place to tell you about her private stuff but… that boy. Trouble.” He shook his head, preparing to dock the boat. “Mathew, I don’t dislike you. You mean a lot to (Y/N) as a friend, and I don’t want you to ruin that. If things didn’t work out between you two, she would be devastated. I’ve seen her heartbroken, but if it was because of you, it’d be so much worse. She could barely function without you after that summer, so if things ended completely between you two...”

Mat couldn’t help but smile when your father said he didn’t dislike him. That was a start, at least. But the thought of you having your heart broken was something he didn’t want to think about. The thought you being heartbroken because of him was something he didn’t want to think about. “I know.” And he did. He understood because he would feel the same way. If things went awkward and sour between the two of you, he would hate himself. He would be lost. Reconnecting after ten years and then losing you all together would hurt even more than if he’d never found you- if you were still only a fond memory he thought back to. If he lost you, he wouldn’t even know what to do. He needed you.

“But, that being said, you’re better than any other guy she’s cared about. Especially that boy. I respect that.” He stepped onto the dock and cast one look back at him. “Look out for her this week. As a friend.” 

“I will.” 

“Starting now.” He motioned down the beach where you stood with the boy, his arm around you, pulling you much too close to his body. 

It felt good to know that at least your father didn’t hate him. He respected him, even. It felt good to know that both men had the same ideas when it came to your safety and were able to come to a silent agreement. And if all they could bond over was their need to protect you, he could take that. Because you were all that mattered to him. 

He all but jogged down the beach to you, his heart throbbing at the sight of you smiling and laughing with someone other than him. His blood boiled. He hated that you were so familiar and comfortable with this guy, but he took comfort in the fact that your dad felt the same way, that at least they were on the same page about that. What could he be saying that was making you this happy? Who could he be who was stealing your attention away from him? That should be him, with his arm around you, making your eyes sparkle in laughter. What was this tightening feeling in his chest? 

Why was Mat so jealous of him?

“Who’s this?”

You looked up from where you were practically hanging on the blonde boy’s arm and met eyes with Mat. Your Mat, your best friend. The man you were trying to forget about. And you had forgotten about him for a few minutes, falling back into the memory of your summer romance at seventeen instead of thinking of Mat, with his pretty dark swoops of hair and high cheekbones, those shimmering hazel eyes and that dazzling smile… and the fact that he was shirtless and shining all pretty and golden in the sunlight. The way he made you laugh until there were tears in your eyes and your sides ached, the way he made your heart pound erratically when he hugged you and when he threw his arm over your shoulders.

And suddenly you realized your ex couldn’t compare to Mat at all, no matter how much you needed a distraction. 

“Mat, this is Kyle. Kyle, this is my friend, Mat.”

“Hey.” The other guy spoke up, and somehow, he sounded exactly like Mat expected him to sound. Like a fucking douchebag.

“Hey.” Mat couldn’t hide how unenthusiastic he was when he greeted the man, and you noticed. It was awkward, you were sandwiched between two shirtless men, one your ex- who you were trying to use as a distraction- and one your best friend- who you were hopelessly crushing on and needed a distraction from- and all three of you waited and waited until Mat finally spoke up. “So, how do you know each other?”

“We, uhh, we dated when we were younger.” 

“Oh?” Mat wasn’t a fan of the way his heart ached when those words left your lips. Of course, you had other boyfriends, you were stunning, borderline perfect. Everyone must want you. You’re not mine, you’re not mine, I know. “You did?”

“Yeah, actually…” Kyle tossed his curly hair out of his face and had Mat rolling his eyes. “We met down here a few years ago. And that dock over there?” He gestured vaguely in the direction of the dock, pulling you against him. “First kiss.” Mat’s muscles tensed, his jaw went tight and his fists closed- he hated the idea that this dock was anyone else’s special place with you. Okay, maybe it was a bit selfish, but he thought this was just a little secret between the two of you, and then this guy had to show up and ruin it? “Best first kiss a girl could get, huh?” He looked at you with a cheeky, smirk...

...But it wasn’t as cute as Mat’s.

“Yeah, it was good.” 

Mat knew it was stupid and unrealistic of him to think he’d always had you all to himself. You’d only known each other for that one summer, and had been separated for ten years, so of course, you eventually found someone other than him. But he couldn’t deny how much it pained his heart to know that somebody else had been closer to you than he had. To know that someone else had taken his place. To know that you weren’t even his to begin with. This guy had held you, kissed you, taken Mat off of your mind, and Mat hated how it felt to know that. “Cool, cool. Well, I think it’s time to head back for lunch, (y/n).”

“Ah, shit, really?” he pulled you tight against him in a quick side hug and kissed the top of your head. Part of you wished, for a moment, that he was Mat instead. “See ya. Remember, Friday!”

“Yep, Friday!” 

Mat couldn’t help but roll his eyes again, watching him leave. He came on this trip with you and you were ditching him for your ex? Shit, it was so tough being just your friend. “What’s Friday?” His voice came out more strained and forced than he wanted it to.

“A party with my old friends.”

“You’re going?”

“Yeah, they’re my friends, so why not?” Mat couldn’t help but feel a little bit betrayed, but he knew this was your vacation, and you were kind enough to invite him along, so he couldn’t tell you what you could and couldn’t do. Just friends, just friends, just friends, he told himself. 

“Well, I still get you to myself tomorrow, right? For your birthday?” 

“Of course you do. Why, are you planning something?”

“Duh, what else is a best friend for?” He pulled you against him to walk down the beach and you smiled at the familiar scent of him, the familiar warmth of his body. Being in his arms was so much better than being in Kyle’s arms. He shrugged, sucking up his pride to tease you about your ex-boyfriend. “Sooo... you and surfer dude, huh? Didn’t know you were into that type.” He laughed again, nudging you with his elbow and smirking. 

His smirk was a lot cuter than your ex’s. 

“Shut up!” You laughed at the teasing lilt in his voice. There was your Mat, happy and smiling. His heart lit up again. Yeah, he could make you laugh so much better than anyone else could. He would always take pride in that. “I know, I know, it’s embarrassing, but listen! We were only seventeen, he could drive already…”

“Ooh, sexy.”

“Mat!” 

“I’m serious, the ability to drive is pretty hot, right?”

You laughed, “Mat! I get it, I get it, it was a dumb summer fling, okay? There actually isn’t much more to him personality-wise. He’s not better than you.” 

“Of course he’s not.” As cocky as Mat played it off, he was really thankful. Thankful you still preferred him over your ex-boyfriend. Thankful he still held a special place in your head, in your heart, even, that no one else ever would. “I mean, have you seen me?”

“I have.” Your eyes skimmed the length of his body. You’d seen him, alright. “You wanna hit the waves before lunch?” You traced your fingers down his arm and grabbed his big hand in yours.

“How could I say no?”

So, with his hand in yours, you ran to the water, shedding the sheer cover-up you’d been wearing over your swimsuit and shrieking when the waves splashed up against you. As usual, Mat dared you to follow him out further than you would’ve like to have gone. The gleam in his eyes was something you weren’t unfamiliar with, the same gleam he got when he was beating you at a game or when you dared him to do something. He wasn’t one to back down until he won, and that was rubbing off on you. His confidence was rubbing off on you. Something about him made you feel so brave. 

“I’m guessing you’re not gonna tell me what we’re doing tomorrow?

“Of course not. It’s a surprise. What type of friend would I be if I gave away the surprise?” He dodged the water you splashed towards him and half hopped, half swam backward in the water. You had wadded out to an area that was deep enough for neither of you to be able to stand very well, and as much as you hated being out here, you felt safe as long as Mat was next to you. He splashed you back in retaliation only to be immediately hit from behind by a wave, laughing the whole time he went down at the shriek you let out when he got your hair wet. 

You laughed as he went under. “That’s what you get, Barzal!” After a few seconds without seeing him resurface, you started to worry, your breath caught in your throat. Should he have been up by now? Did he get the breath knocked out of him and couldn’t come up? Did he get pulled out further? “Mat? Mat, hey, where’d you go, buddy?” Your breath was shallow, your mind fuzzy, and your heartbeat quickened as you took a few strides forward, turning and glancing over the rippling surface of the water, trying to find any sign of him, any movement, any trace of his dark hair, but there was nothing. 

Not until a pair of arms underwater grabbed your waist from behind and lifted you. 

“Gotcha.”

He was still laughing, still teasing you, thinking he had just played a funny trick on you and you hadn’t been in the middle of freaking out and panicking that your best friend had probably drowned. 

“Shit, Mat. Oh my god.” You turned in his arms and pulled yourself against him, cheeks warming up at the feeling of his wet, bare skin against yours, his muscles taut, and his skin slick beneath your fingertips. He’s okay, he’s safe, he’s alive. You brought your hands up around his shoulders, pushing black strands of wet hair out of his eyes as he continued to laugh. You smacked his shoulder, suddenly angry that he would even joke about drowning. You couldn’t bear the thought of losing him. “You’re a dick! That wasn’t funny!”

Mat must have noticed the way your nails were digging into the flesh of his biceps, holding him for dear life with an urgent look in your eyes because he stopped laughing almost immediately when he noticed your concern. “Hey, hey.” His voice dropped to the gentle, reassuring tone that always made you emotional. The voice he broke out when you got hurt and he was there as a friend to pick up the pieces. The same voice he’d used all those years ago when you started crying over a crab he had thrown at you. “Look, I’m fine.”

“But I didn’t know that two seconds ago!”

“I’m sorry. I was just messing around. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“I know. I’m just glad you’re alive.” You took deep breaths, your head dropping to rest on his wet shoulder, your face pressed against the crook of his neck. It took you a few moments to understand how intimate this was: you were wrapped up together under the water, still in his arms with your feet listed off the sandy floor, pressed chest to chest with your arms wrapped over his shoulders. What you had intended to be a friendly hug became so much more when you were wet and weightless and almost bare, pressed against each other. You sighed and pulled back from him, dropping down to your feet but keeping your hands on his shoulders so stay still. He was your anchor out here. “You know, you don’t have to go pretending to drown just because you’re jealous of my ex and want my attention back.”

“What?” he scoffed, trying to play it off cool. Okay, maybe it was true that he was looking for a little bit of your attention, but he’d never admit that. Friends don’t get jealous of their friend’s ex-boyfriends. “I’m not jealous.” 

“Really? You didn’t seem like your friendly self when you were talking to him. And your eyes look pretty green right now, so I’d say that’s probably because of the green monster.” You teased, poking at his face.

“He’s your ex, do you want me to treat him like a friend?”

“Well, he was also my friend, so you don’t need to be so hostile towards him. But I get it. It’s okay to be jealous. I get jealous of your friends, sometimes.”

“You do? Why?”

“They’ve gotten to spend more time with you than I did. They probably mean a lot more. You have friends you’ve known for years, and I’m not one of them. We only knew each other that summer and then this past year. I wish we would’ve been friends longer.” 

“You don’t have to be jealous of them, though. I actually feel like we’ve known each other since then. I thought back to you a lot, wondering what you were up to...”

“Probably thinking of you.” You smiled, your heart swelling at the thought that between growing up and getting into the NHL, Mat still thought of you every now and then. “I feel so lucky to have found you” You closed your mouth, letting your words settle in the air between the two of you. “You don’t have to be jealous either. Kyle wasn’t that great. Not cooler than our time together.”

“No?” He added a chuckle to try and lighten the mood. “I thought he was the cool kid who could drive?”

“No.” You dropped your gaze to the ocean, turning away from Mat. “We may have had a little… romance thing, but he cheated on me.” Mat’s eyes went soft, his eyebrows furrowing up at the idea of you having your heart broken like that. He knew much too well what it felt like to be lied to and cheated on, so to imagine you suffering through that without him there to help pick up the pieces for you was too much. “Well, no,” You shook your head. “I guess he didn’t really cheat. Only kinda. It was just a summer fling to him, but I thought it was something more. I was just dumb and naive I guess.”

“Hey,” His hands lifted to your shoulders momentarily, turning you to look up at him. “That’s really shitty anyway. He hurt you.” 

“Yeah. He did. And you'd never hurt me.” Your fingers, much without your permission, glided down the lengths of his wet arms to cover his hands with yours. “See? You don’t need to be jealous. You’re so much cooler. You mean more to me than he ever did. Nothing- no one- can ever top that summer. No one can ever top how much you mean to me. You're my friend.” 

You both sat in uncomfortable silence, mutually hating that sentence. There was no way you were just friends. This wasn’t platonic at all.  Friends didn’t cuddle each other in motel rooms; friends didn’t hold each other underwater; friends didn’t daydream about making out with each other; friends didn’t get jealous of their friend’s exes; friends didn’t have hot, wet dreams about each other almost every night; friends didn’t nearly kiss every single day. So were you really just friends?

"Yeah." As much as Mat hated being "the friend", he was going to try his hardest to live up to that if that's what you wanted from him. And even if that’s all he’d ever be, he would learn to accept it. It was better than not having you at all. "I might even be your best friend ever, right?" 

"We'll see about that. You've got a lot of competition." He laughed with you. Oh, if only you know how much he didn't want to be your friend. If only he knew how much you wanted him to kiss you. 

 “Well, was that enough serious talk for today?”

“Yeah,” You huffed a sigh, brushing off the thoughts in your head. “I think it was.”

Your gaze dropped from those pretty hazel eyes, shimmering golden and green in the sunlight, across the immaculate structure of his cheekbones and jaw, right to his pretty pink lips. If only you could know what it felt like to have them against yours- would they be soft or rough?- to have his hot tongue in your mouth, his hands grabbing your waist, touching you all over, pulling you onto his lap. What you wouldn’t give to feel his mouth making it’s way down your body, leaving wet kisses and sucking on tender skin, leaving marks on your throat, your hips, the insides of your thighs. To feel his nose rub against you as his tongue dipped, lapped, caressed…

Mat watched you, the look in your eyes, all the walls about your past broken down, and at that very moment, he knew something. He would be your friend as long as you needed, he would be there for you to pick up the pieces and listen to your problems, he’d keep you safe, he’d do what a best friend should do. But, fuck. Fuck, he loved you. He loved you, he loved you, he loved you, and he wasn’t sure how long he could keep it to himself.  This was so bad. 

He broke apart from you, removing his hands from where they’d been resting on your shoulders under your own soft hands, taking a few strides back in the water, and trying to regain some platonic boundaries between the two of you. That was all you were, right? Friends.

“Woah, where are you running off too, Mat?” Your laugh rang in his ear, pretty and perfect, and you.

“I-” He gestured back to the shore. “I think lunch is ready onshore. I’m kinda hungry.”

“Alright.” You pressed your hand into his and his heart leaped at the simple affection. It’s not like you hadn’t held hands before, but this time it felt… different. “Let’s head back then, Maty.”

Damn it, you have me wrapped around your finger, babe.

The day passed much too quickly for either of your taste and before you knew it the sun was dipping low in the sky, signaling the end of your long day. You wanted to spend the rest of time here in the sun, your feet digging into the sandy bottom of the ocean with the waves splashing around you; you wanted to spend the rest of time wrapped up in each other’s arms, caught up in each other’s eyes, frozen in time as you held on for dear life in your own little bubble separate from the rest of the world; daydreaming about kissing and fingers running through each other’s hair. You wanted to spend the rest of time dreaming of holding each other without worrying that the other didn’t feel the same. 

But it wasn’t quite over yet.

You were sitting alone on the dock, working away at braiding the bracelet you were finishing up for Mat when you heard footsteps behind you and looked up to find him, his hair sun-dried and fluffy in the breeze and a fresh drink in his hand. “Wow, that’s really coming along, huh?” His voice was a blanket of familiarity washing over you. You would never get tired of hearing it.

“Yeah, it is.” You smiled up at him. “When you want something hard enough, you really gotta work for it.” You reached up to grab his empty hand, wrapping the bracelet around his wrist to see how much more you had to get done. Your fingers lingered on his skin for a few moments longer than they should have, and you both noticed the delicate change in atmosphere before you pulled away completely.

“You mind if I join you here?”

“Anytime, Mat.”

So he sat down next to you, watching the colors fade from the sky and dipping his toes in the water with you and closing his eyes in pure bliss. You were both warm and smelled of saltwater and sunscreen, your breath tasting of the lemonade you had had after dinner, and whatever alcoholic drink Mat was currently sipping on; your cheeks and nose were still slightly rosy from the sun, faces hurting from smiling and laughing too much with him. If this wasn’t the perfect recreation of your first family trip with him all those years ago, you weren’t sure what was. 

Everything was soft and quiet until Mat spoke up from next to you. “You know, sunsets on the east coast aren’t that cool.”

“Ouch!” You mocked offense, bringing a hand to your heart. ”Wow, I invite you on this vacation with me and all you can do is insult it? I’ll rethink ever bringing you back.” He threw his head back in a cackle- the one you loved so much.

“No, I just mean… it’s cooler seeing the sunset over the ocean, don’t you think?” 

You shrugged. “I don’t know, don’t really wanna inflate your ego any more.”

He chuckled a bit more, always a welcomed sound in your ears. “Guess I gotta take you out west then, try to convince you.” 

“Really?”

“Yeah, really. I’ll take you to Vancouver with me when I go home. We can head to the beach from there. My mom would love to meet you.” 

“You told your parents about me?”

“Of course. I told them all about you after we caught up. They remember you, they even still have pictures of us somewhere. They’d love you.” 

There was something about that moment... He was shirtless, the sun was going down behind him and casting a pretty halo around his head, his eyes held yours intensely, with unanswered questions. You tried to ignore the way his skin glistened in the light, the way his thick thighs were spreading out deliciously as he sat, the way you were sitting so close to him that the outside of your bare thigh was touching his, the way you were leaning back on your hands with your pinky loosely tangled with his. There was something about that moment, talking about his family and how much they’d love to meet you, how there are still pictures floating around of you and Mat as children, of the one summer that changed everything for you. There was something about that moment that almost had you leaning in.  

“Kids, we’re heading home!”

You turned away from him quickly, scooting your leg away and pulling your hand from his. Maybe hearing your mother’s voice was what pulled you back into reality. You couldn’t kiss him. Not now.

“Yeah, yeah!!” You pulled yourself up off the dock, extending a hand to help Mat up, and smiling when his big palm touched yours, warm and soft. “We’re coming!” 

This wasn’t how you wanted the day to end, but maybe it was for the best.

You could break the boundaries of friendship, push the limits to your relationship with Mat, stick your toe in and test the waters, but was it worth it? Maybe you should just try to avoid your feelings for him. Maybe it would be best to suffer in silence for the rest of your life. Shove those feelings down inside of you and swallow your words only to spend your nights dreaming of how it would feel to sleep next to him, to roll over into his arms. Maybe it was best to love him from afar. Rather that than ruin what was an amazing friendship. 

Right?

[khaoticallykat]

◇The Prince and The Punk◇

Chapter 3: The Girl at the Rock Show

word count: 2,048

Warnings: sight mention of abuse

Summary: Ransom goes to a concert with you.

A/n: Wow, I'm so sorry this took so long to write, I had a lot of stuff going on within the last 2-3 weeks, but im getting back into the groove of writing. Thank you all for understanding and supporting me. 💖 (does this spacing look weird to you? Let me know.)

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You've been fighting with yourself all week over whether to confront Clarissa, you knew getting into someone's relationship would cause problems, but you couldn't just let what you heard go. You sat in the library at campus, zoning out from the laptop you were looking at, you finally started to get to know Ransom, you would even probably call him your friend. 

You were snapped back into reality as Ransom snapped his fingers in front of your face, "You must be really focused," he laughed, sitting across from you, "what are you working on?"

"A little research paper before we're out for winter break." You said, going back to typing, "don't you have a paper to work on?"

"I'm done already," he smirked, you noticed he was wearing one of his white sweaters today, his right cheek was a little flushed, your heart sank, wondering if Clarissa hit him again. "you have any plans for winter break?" 

"I'm going to a concert tonight, that's really it, work and go home," you said, "hey does-"

"A concert? With one of those bands you like? Can I come?" His blue eyes gleamed with excitement.

"Really? You?" You tried to hold a laugh, "you wanna go to a concert? It might be too much for your rich ass." 

"How bad can it be? Clarissa is going on a trip with some girls from the cheer team and I got nothing but free time." 

Your jaw clenched at her name but you remained calm, you could ask him later.

"Alright, you wanna go? Then meet me at my house at 6," You wrote down your address and cell phone number and handed it to him, "and I wouldn't wear that, it'd be a shame to see that sweater ruined." 

Walking across the field to your car, you passed by the cheerleaders, all who were chatting with Clarissa. You did your best to ignore the loud talking amongst them but you turned your head when you heard your name being called.

"Y/n! Hey!" Clarissa was running over to you, dressed in the university's sweat suit, "sorry for the short talk yesterday, maybe we started off wrong." 

You looked into her baby blue eyes, knowing damn well that was a lie. 

"Yeah, I think we did too."

"We should try to get to know each other, do you wanna come hang out with me and the squad?" 

You rather pull your eyelashes out, but maybe you could try to get to know her. 

"Ah, yeah, sure." You smiled and followed her over to the circle of girls, you were introduced to each one and they all seemed rather nice. They mainly talked about their classes, some were even in the same majors as you. They also talked about their upcoming trip, they were using one of the girl's parent's vacation house by a lake, it honestly sounded fun, but you couldn't shake the feeling of something bad, most likely Clarissa was burning holes into you under that preppy demeanor. 

Clarissa checked her phone and smiled, "I got a few things to finish before we leave tonight," she said, breaking away from the group, "but I'll see you all later."

The girls waved their byes and you took the chance to leave too, some shook your hand while others hugged you, it felt a little strange but you happily gave them hugs back. On the way to your car, you caught a glimpse of Ransom and Clarissa talking from across the campus. A cold shiver ran down your spine and alarms were going off in your head, you should check on him, to make sure he doesn't get hurt. But it wasn't your place to do that, taking a deep breath, you unlocked your car and drove home, you sworn you could have seen Ransom looking right at you. 

It was almost four thirty when you arrived back at home, the little two story house was simple and modern, grey with red window panes. Your father brought it when you were still just a baby, but worked on it over time. You took off your bag and coat, leaving your boots by the door, your mother came around the corner from the bedroom and greeted you.

"Long day today?" She asked, you mother was smart and kind, but she also didn't mess around when it came to family or her patients. 

"Yeah, but you know I'm going to that concert tonight, right?" 

Her brows furrowed, "It's going to snow tonight, anyone going with you?" 

"A friend from college, he begged me to come so he's gonna drive us." You walked into the kitchen and sat your stuff down to look through the fridge for leftovers from last night.

"Your dad ate the leftovers," you groaned and closed the fridge in defeat, opting to make instant noodles instead, "that has a lot of sodium you know? And your friend, can he drive in the snow?"

"Yes, mom, we'll be fine, worse case scenario is that I have to stay with him, and he's right in town." 

Your mother, still hesitant on letting you go, rubbed your back, "I trust you enough, I've seen it everytime you go to those crazy concerts, you are careful and mature, just be extra careful tonight."

"I will."

You were getting changed when your mother called you from the bottom of the stairs,"Y/n! There's a young man down here to see you, he's very handsome, his name is Ransom, where did you find him?" 

You groaned loudly in annoyance, the down side was that your mother could be really embarrassed, on purpose. You grabbed a jacket and huffed down the stairs, seeing Ransom in your living room, he wore a black long sleeved shirt that hugged his arms and black jeans, it was definitely a shock to see him in darker colors. 

"I found him in the trash at school, he looked like he needed a home,"  You joked with you mom, Ransom felt the burn from that comment but still held a smile on his face. "You look like you're about to go commit a crime." 

"There was that one time in high school with the principal's car." Ransom laughed. 

"Well, one person's trash is another's treasure, don't let me hold you two back, just be safe, and try to stay out of trouble." Your mom winked at the both of you before going back to her room.

You grabbed your keys and opened the front door, "let's get going, traffic is going to be a bitch." 

The car ride with Ransom was going well, traffic would happen in certain parts but he made sure that the both of had something to talk about. By the time you arrived to the venue, snowflakes began to fall, you cursed your mom for being right all the time. 

"Hopefully this snow won't be too bad on the way back," Ransom said, "you never told me who we were seeing."

"Dreams of Demise," you smiled, "they're band is from a small town but they're really good." 

His eyebrows raised a little, "Holy shit, they sound a little intense." He laughed, opening the door to a large room filled with people and loud metal music playing, Ransom's eyes went wide, taking in everything around him.

You started laughing at his expression, "yeah, it's a little intense, you gonna be ok? You look like you're gonna piss yourself." 

"I'll be fine, just gotta break in to this a little more." He said as you both made your way through the crowd to the stage, the band was starting to set up to play and the room was buzzing with excitement.

"Trust me, you'll either break in or be broken, just hope you can handle it." You smiled at him, watching his eyes light up with the same excitement. 

"Well, I'm fucking ready to enjoy this."

You and Ransom walk out of the concert right when it was over, the snow had gotten heavier, more than a inches on the ground but it didn't stop the adrenaline that you both felt.

"THAT WAS AMAZING!" Ransom cheered as he ran out into the night, almost slipping on an ice patch. His hair, no longer in the posh pretty boy style, he looked disheveled and wild, it was a good look on him, at this point, he could make a potato sack look good. 

"And you didn't die, I knew you could do it," You laughed, getting in the car, "and you even got yourself into a mosh pit, I'm proud, baby's first mosh." 

"I want to go to another one, I know some of the bands you like,I could pay for us to go to another one." He turned on the car and dusted the snow off the windshield.

"Maybe, you don't have to pay, I make it by just fine." 

The roads were clear of any cars as Ransom drove, the temperature dropped below freezing and he did his best to not slide on any black ice. About a half hour into the drive, you notice the road was blocked going towards your house, you both groaned, knowing that would add an extra hour to the trip back. 

"Hey, this snow is getting worse, I don't live that far from here, it might be safe just to stay with me until some of this clears in the morning." Ransom said, pulling over to the side of the road, "If you're ok with that."

"There's no other choice right? I don't want you risking your life to get me home, if you're closer, then I'll stay." You were feeling slightly uncomfortable as you thought about staying the night with Ransom, you knew he lived on his own, you both started a friendship so it would be alright, right? Your stomach fluttered as you sighed.

"SLEEPOVER!" He yelled in the all too quiet car, scaring you back into reality.

"WHAT THE FUCK RANSOM?!" you went to smack his arm but stopped yourself when you saw the smallest flinch, he was pressed against the driver door, that hint of fear in his eyes shown for a brief moment.

"I just haven't had anyone sleep over in a while," he chuckled, "it'll be fun, I got food!" 

You nodded, placing your hand on his shoulder, "then let's get going." 

Ransom's house looked as you expected it to be, fancy, modern and simple. He pulled into the long driveway and into the garage, "it might be a little cold in here, I like it like that." He lead you up into the living room, hardwood floors with a fluffy rug that definitely was from an animal. You stood awkwardly in the threshold of the kitchen and living while you watch him move about. 

"The bedrooms are upstairs," he said, nodding his head in the direction of the stairs, you followed him up the spiraling staircase until you reached the top, grey carpet was all throughout the upstairs, even in your boots you knew the material was something you couldn't even afford a square foot of. "This is gonna be your room tonight." He opened a door and flipped the lights on, the bed was a queen with grey wooden pillars, simple pillows and blankets laid neatly on it.

"Wow, you actually keep it clean in here." You laughed

"I have a cleaning lady come over every other day, she makes it look like I don't even use my bedroom," He laughed before showing you the bathroom, "and here's the bathroom, you can take a shower whenever, just be careful not to slip." Ransom walked into another room that you assumed was his, you waited by the door, taking peaks in. He came back out with clothing in his arms, "these might be a little big on you, but it's better than sleeping in concert clothes." 

You took the clothes and smiled, "Thanks Ransom, you didn't have to do all this for me." 

"That's what friends are for," he said, his eyes softly looking at you, you gave a strong yawn and wiped your eyes, "you should get some rest Y/n." 

"I am," you walked over to the guest room and waved, "goodnight Ransom." 

"Goodnight Y/n."

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

A Place To Call Home: Vacation

Summary: The Ackles and Padaleckis are heading to the beach for a two week long family vacation. The reader invites TJ along and is surprised to learn someone else may have beat her to the punch…

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x foster daughter!reader (with TJ)

Word Count: 10,300ish (whoops)

Warnings: language, little implied smut

A/N: Takes place approximately 2 years after the end of A Place To Call Home and after the reader has finished college...

“Hey guys,” asked your dad quietly, skirting back from first class squatting down in the aisle, looking at both you and TJ. “How’s it going back here?”

“Arrow stole my window seat and Zeppelin insisted TJ watch Transformers with him so...lovely,” you said, shaking your head at TJ who was sandwiched between Zepp and Shep across the aisle.

“Mom and I and the other guys really appreciate you two watching the little guys on the flights for us,” said Jensen, giving you a smile. “So much so we figure before you two go insane back here, we’d let you know that the villa we’re staying in has a separate cottage. We thought maybe you and TJ would want to maybe take that for-”

“Yup,” you said nodding your head. “This is the best flight ever. We’ll even watch ‘em on the way home, won’t we TJ?”

“Yes. A million times yes,” he said with a fast nod, your dad chuckling.

“Didn’t think you two would mind a little privacy,” he said, giving you a smile and raising an eyebrow at TJ. “Appropriate privacy.”

“Of course,” he said. You shook your head, scratching the back of it when your dad looked back to you. He rolled his eyes and smiled as he stood up.

“Alright, we’ll see you guys in a few hours,” he said. “Have fun sibling sitting.”

“Do we have all of ‘em?” asked Jared, yawning as your parents grabbed the rental cars at the airport. “How many kids are there? I forget.”

“Six small, two large,” said Gen. “So, eight total.”

“We’re graduated from college and we still fall in the kids category?” you asked, waving you to you and TJ.

“I think one of the large children is acting up again,” teased Jared.

“I put Jared and Jensen in the large children category, hun,” said Gen, giving Jared a smirk. “Still debating on TJ at the moment although he’s more mature than those two put together.”

“Come to the dark side, TJ. It’s fun here,” said Jared with a nod, watching you scowl at him.

“Yeah but Jensen…you know...” said TJ.

“Fair point,” said Jared, corralling Odette when she started to wander off. “Everyone under 6’ 5” must stay in a ten foot vicinity at all times at the airport, Ms. Odette.”

“Dad, it’s pretty outside,” she grumbled, waving her arms around. “I wanna play. Please?”

“As soon as Uncle Jensen and Aunt De get the cars, we are going to the resort and we can play,” he said. “Promise.”

“So, right now,” said your dad, handing a set of keys to Jared and one to TJ. “Small kids with your parents, luggage goes with the big kids.”

You saw Tom and JJ look at one another, Jensen rolling his eyes.

“Over twenty is a big kid today, kiddos,” he said.

“But I’m ten and Tom’s eleven,” said JJ. “Double digits.”

“It’s cool if they ride with us,” said TJ. “Really.”

“Alright, alright. Let’s just get there so we can relax for minute,” he said.

“Awesome,” you said, TJ smirking the whole time as you put your luggage into the back of the open top jeep, JJ and Tom practically bouncing out of their seats.

“Alright, buckle up and we will be there in about half an hour,” said TJ.

“You two good back there?” you asked. You got hums and a pair of thumbs up, TJ laughing as he pulled your sunglasses down over your face. “Well let’s get going. I am so driving this next time we go out by the way.”

“Might have to fight me for it,” teased TJ. It didn’t take long to get away from the airport and start to smell the ocean in the air and feel the sun on your skin. It hadn’t been hard for your dad to convince you to take this year’s big vacation to the caribbean after last year’s fiasco. It had been his choice to try camping and after one night of roughing it with three bouts of stomach bugs later, you packed up and checked into a hotel not too far down the road and spent the rest of the two weeks relaxing with a nice room to come back to at the end of the day.

Unfortunately TJ hadn’t been able to get the time off with his internship to come with you but now he was working at the firm under the guy that had ironically designed your parents house, and they were very flexible with time off.

“I’m so glad my parents said yes that you could come this year,” you said, glancing over at him as he drove, his left arm hanging on the edge of doorsill, a warm breeze in the air carrying a pretty scent through it.

“I’m glad they invited me,” he said with a smile.

“They invited you?” you asked. “I invited you.”

“Oh. I remember your dad asking me if I wanted to come like a week before you did. I was away for spring break at my parents and he called me up,” he said. “I figured you were excited and wanted to talk about it in person was all.”

“I talked to them about it after...they invited you...now I’m suspicious,” you said, peering over your shoulder at the SUV behind you your dad was driving.

“I’m sure they just wanted to know for planning rooms and stuff,” he said.

“Or he could like...be planning to murder you in foreign country,” you said.

“Seriously?” said TJ. “Your little sister and like cousin are in the car.”

“We watch lifetime movies when Y/N babysits,” said Tom.

“She’s got a point, TJ. The perfect crime,” said JJ.

“These children are going to be vandals when they grow up thanks to you,” said TJ, shaking his head with a smile. “What else does Y/N have you guys watch?”

“I let ‘em watch Supernatural sometimes,” you said, TJ’s jaw dropping. “So what if the rule was like thirteen? They can watch some stuff. Like bloody mary. Ain’t that right JJ? You loved that one.”

You spun around with a smirk, JJ shaking her head, Tom rolling his eyes.

“Or like hookman,” you said, his head dropping back. You laughed and TJ started to giggle.

“Vandals and traumatizing them. Best big sister ever there,” he teased.

“Dude, that stuff’s in the handbook,” you said, reaching back and ruffling both their heads. “They know I love ‘em. It’s our little secret.”

“What about like...the stuff that’s a little more...grown up?” asked TJ.

“No. No. That’s why you watch the show ahead of me now. I can not have another Jared and Gen season 4 couch incident,” you said, shaking yourself out. “Seeing dad was bad enough but that was full on…”

“What?” asked Tom.

“It’s an episode you’ll never see and for good reason,” you said. “You’ll thank me someday.”

“Hey, you know what? You guys are pretty lucky to have Y/N. I’m an only kid. I would have loved having a big brother or sister around. It can get pretty lonely,” said TJ.

“But now you got us!” said JJ. TJ laughed and agreed with her but you only bit your bottom lip. You didn’t realize you were still smiling when you got to the resort, your dad grinning at you when he saw your face.

“Somebody looks like they’re in love,” he said, Arrow taking off with your mom ahead of him.

“Yeah,” you said, grabbing you bag from the back, helping JJ with hers before you gave her a hug. “Pretty awesome little sis right here.”

He was quick to take a picture of you two, nudging you to hold back once everyone started heading inside.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Yeah. We were just talking in the car and TJ was talking about siblings and how the kids are lucky to have them and she made a comment like TJ’s part of our family so he’s got ‘em too. I don’t know. I’m…” you said. “Why’d you invite him on vacation?”

“It was a family vacation,” he said. “He’s part of the family.”

“Really?” you asked, your dad nodding with a smile.

“You’ve been best friends with the guy for four years, you’ve been dating for two and he comes over for dinner like six days a week. I think it’s okay if we call him part of the family at this point,” he said. You smiled, getting one in return. “I assumed you wanted him to come.”

“Oh, I did,” you said. “S’nice that you invited him is all.”

“I know. I’m also not going to murder him because yes, I watched that lifetime movie too,” he said.

“Well good cause then it’d be a whole thing to deal with..” you said, getting a chuckle from him.

“It’s why we act and make beer in this family. Whole lot easier,” he teased, tilting his head at you. “Speaking of making beer, mom says she’s creating a new position at the brewery. Full time, Monday to Friday. Someone to help with the business and design side of things, run social media. It comes with benefits, pretty kick ass salary, very flexible time off…”

“I told mom I’m taking it,” you said. “A big part of my duties will also be designing the farmhouse for the new restaurant and getting that up to code. I get to use that degree for something after all looks like.”

“You’re going to be a boss, not just a beer server anymore. You want that?” he asked. “You’ll be making decisions with all the owners.”

“It’s sort of called The Family Business so it makes sense that family runs it,” you said. “I want this.”

“Oh my...it only took you like five years to get that the plan was for the kids to run it someday,” he said with a laugh. “Whew. We were getting nervous for a minute there.”

“You guys were waiting for me to ask about a job?” you said. He shrugged, giving you a smirk.

“There’s always been a job there for you. Duh. Of course we were waiting for you to ask,” he said.

“You two are partially evil you know,” you said.

“But we’re nice evil, kiddo,” he said, giving you a hug, getting a strange look from a guy walking by. “Come on, let’s go be weird inside.”

“I don’t know if it’s possible for you to not be weird that long. You might actually combust from restraining yourself,” you said, smiling at him.

“I learned it from watching you, tall munchkin,” he said. You rolled your eyes and headed inside, handing over your bags to someone before everyone was being led off to your own private corner of the resort.

You parents and the Padaleckis thanked the people that brought your bags, you and TJ watching the kids take off to explore the villa.

“Guys, guys,” said your mom, Gen whistling before they got too far. “You three boys are sharing a room on the right. You three girls are right next door to them. Tom, JJ, us adults will be upstairs, Pads on the left, Ackles on the right. Any problems, come get any one of us, okay?”

“Where are TJ and Y/N going to sleep?” asked Arrow.

“Backyard,” said your dad. The kids scrunched up their faces, Jared nodding. “I know, sucks for them. But they’ll just be sleeping out there so during the day, those guys are still in charge too. Okay now take off you scoundrels. And no going near the pool or the beach without an adult out there.”

All six pairs of heads nodded before they were gone to their rooms and you were tugging TJ outside. You hummed as you both spotted the short path to the cottage off to the side.

“It looks beautiful,” you said, both of you wide eyed as you entered. There was a small kitchen and sitting room in the front of the house, and a huge bathroom and  bedroom with a perfect oceanfront view in the back, your bags already inside. “Wow.”

You stepped outside onto the small deck out there, looking around and seeing nothing but beach.

“This is so private. Isn’t it gorgeous?” you asked, looking back over your shoulder.

“It is,” he said, a hint of pink on his cheeks.

“Are you blushing TJ?” you teased.

“You should see how beautiful you are,” he said, smirking as he stepped out beside you. “That’s a very pretty sundress for a girl that doesn’t like dresses.”

“It’s the caribbean,” you shrugged, TJ humming as he wrapped his arms around you, resting his head on your shoulder as you both stared out. “Want to go swimming?”

“Mmm, for sure,” he said, kissing your cheek before he pulled back. You went inside, digging through your bags for your swim gear, TJ with swim trunks in hand when there was a knock at the door. “Come in.”

“Hey,” said your dad, raising an eyebrow when he walked inside to the bedroom. “Wow, this place is nice. Just wanted to let you guys know we were thinking be ready to go for dinner at six? Little formal, not too formal. You probably need a dress shirt or polo TJ, a dress or nice shirt for you, honey.”

“Sounds good. We were going to go for a quick swim,” you said.

“Alright. Be safe. I think that’s the plan for us too. Oh and try not to spend all your time tucked away in here,” he teased, glancing at you and then your open suitcase. You kicked it shut, turning and looking at a picture on the wall when you saw him realize what he’d seen.

“Isn’t that a great picture?” you said. “That’s a great-”

“It’s a box of condoms. Guess what? You’re not the only one to pack some,” he said. You closed your eyes and shook your head, a loud laughing echoing from him. “Well I know where to come if I run out.”

“Sorry, I think...nope I definitely hear mom calling me right now,” you said, grabbing your phone. “I should totally take this and get away from here asap.”

“Oh so you don’t want to hear that you guys can order whatever you want for room service from here? Like we're paying for everything?” he teased.

“...Continue,” you said.

“Don’t blow our retirement fund but you guys want some wine, late night dinner, go for it. You’re both responsible,” he said. “Okay? Have fun on your swim guys.”

“Alright,” you said, your dad pausing on his way out, turning to TJ before he shook his head, biting back his comment.

“I need a beer,” he sighed. “Six sharp for dinner you two.”

“Gotcha,” you said, groaning when he left. “Oh my god. Never answer the door again.”

“I’m okay with that,” he said, peeling off of his short sleeve henley and shorts, shimmying out of his boxer briefs as he started to pull on his swim trunks.

“Remember the first time we were naked in front of each other?” you asked, leaning against the wall as he pulled up the shorts.

“Yes. I remember a whole lot of avoided eye contact and awkwardness and then I actually looked at you and thought, fuck she is smokin’ hot and beautiful? How’d I land this girl?” he said, walking over, peeling the straps off your dress until it slid off your body.

“You were always hot...then you got all muscly,” you said, patting his arm with a smirk as you grabbed your bikini and started to change.

“Well you do have a thing for big arms apparently,” he teased.

“True. I got a thing for sweet boys too,” you said, spinning around and showing your back to him. “Tie me up?”

“Y/N, you scoundrel,” he fake scoffed as you smacked his chest. He tied the strings together across your back and behind your neck, brushing your hair behind your ear when you spun around. “I love you, dork.”

“I love you, dork,” you said, giving him a peck on the nose.

“No nightmares last night?” he asked. You shook your head, TJ smiling wide. “S’been awhile since you had one. Must be a new record.”

“It is,” you said, resting your head on his chest. “Been feeling pretty good since that meltdown at finals week. I feel...safe.”

“I wouldn’t let anyone hurt you,” he said. You giggled and looked up at him. “S’why I got big and strong you know.”

You raised an eyebrow, TJ shrugging.

“Seriously? I thought you were trying to impress my dad or something which you totally don’t have to. He loves you,” you said.

“I like knowing I make you feel safe,” he said. “I like knowing I can keep you safe if I have to and are you blushing Y/N Ackles?”

“Shut up,” you laughed, grabbing his hand. “Come on, let’s go check out that pool.”

“Honey?” asked your mom from her chair by the pool, TJ showing Zepp how to flip into the water along with your dad at the other end. “Did TJ start working out more recently?”

“Your boyfriend’s like hot, Y/N,” said Gen, your mom whacking her arm. “What? He is! I remember him being smaller.”

“He joined crossfit about six months ago,” you said. “I tease him about being a jock now.”

“I guess we’ll have to see if JJ follows in tradition of choosing a man that goes smaller to strong,” joked Gen. “Always sweet though.”

“She probably will,” said your mom. “I think we got a few more years before boys come into the picture. Let ‘em enjoy being kids.”

Gen hummed and stood up with a stretch.

“True. So glad I got a while before Odette’s dealing with that. It’s getting late. We better get ready,” she said.

“Why don’t you wear that white dress with the little bowtie front?” asked your mom as she stood up. “That’s plenty pretty for the restaurant. I think TJ will like it.”

“He likes everything I wear,” you said. “Like everything.”

“They normally do,” she said. “We’ll meet you out front, okay?”

“Okay. We’ll be there.”

You gave TJ a smile at the table, looking him up and down in his white dress shirt and khaki shorts. You were vaguely listening to the conversation your parents were having, the kids seemingly passed out for the most part after the day of travel.

“I don’t think they’re listening to us,” you heard, your head whipping around, TJ’s doing the same. You saw four pairs of smiles as they were standing up. “We’re going to head back to the house guys.”

“Alright,” you said, some of the kids getting treated to rides back on the walk, Arrow walking over to TJ with a smile.

“You want a ride, pipsqueak?” he asked, bending down and scooping her up. “Did you like dinner?”

“Yeah,” she yawned. “You smell good.”

“It’s cologne,” he said.

“Daddy wears that sometimes,” she said, resting her head on his shoulder as you took his other hand and started the walk back. “TJ?”

“Mhm?”

“Can we build a sandcastle tomorrow?” she asked.

“Sure,” he said. She nodded and started to snore after a minute, TJ chuckling quietly.

“It seems you have a way with the Ackles women,” you said.

“Oh yes. You all fall asleep on me,” he said. “It was a long day for a seven year old.”

“Thanks for carrying her,” you said.

“S’no problem.”

“Thanks guys,” said your dad after you dropped off Arrow in her room. “We were going to have a drink by the pool if you want to join us.”

“Sure,” you said when TJ nodded. “I want to put on something warmer first.”

“No rush,” he said.

The second you sat down on the bed to take off your sandals though, you groaned, TJ doing the same.

“Sleep?” you asked.

“Sleep,” he said.

You grabbed your phone and texted your dad, tucking yourself into TJ’s side before he could even respond.

“Morning,” hummed TJ when you stirred awake. You stretched out, sighing into the sheets. “This bed is amazing.”

“I know,” you said, rolling over to catch the clock. “It’s already ten. We should probably get up.”

“Tomorrow we should get breakfast in bed,” he said.

“I like that plan,” you said. “Let’s go grab something from the resort and then we can head down to the beach.”

“Alright, alright,” said your dad, bending over and putting his hands on his knees. “Dad needs a break.”

“What are you, old, Ackles?” teased Jared, kicking around the soccer ball more with you and JJ.

“Yes and I’m not twisting my ankle two days into this thing,” he said with a huff. “Beer break.”

“I’ll take one of those,” you said.

“Beer, beer, lemonade,” said Jared, pointing at JJ, getting a nod. “Hey, Gen, De! What do you guys want for drinks?”

“We’re a delivery service now?” said your dad.

“Can I get a mojito?” asked your mom.

“I’ll have one too!” said Gen, Odette asking for grape juice.

“Let’s go find a waiter,” asked your dad. You headed more towards the resort area and eventually found one, getting everyone’s orders in as they said they’d send them over for you. You and your dad took a break at the resort bar in the air conditioning, glad to be out of the sun for a minute.

“JJ’s getting good at her dribbling, better than me now,” you said.

“I know. I could handle when you were better but the ten year old kicking my ass makes me question the old man comments,” he said.

“You’re barely 46, dad,” you said.

“Hot 46,” said a pair of women that walked past, giving him a wave.

“I think I threw up in my mouth a little,” you said.

“Hey, I’m hot 46,” he said with a smirk, puffing his chest out.

“You’re something alright,” you said, laughing when the fruitiest and brightest pink drink you’d ever seen was sat down in front of your dad.

“Courtesy Mr. Hanover,” said a waiter appearing from nowhere, a double of whiskey set down in front of you. The waiter questioned himself but you took the whiskey, smiling at your dad as the waiter left.

“Careful. I think TJ might like you,” you teased.

“Hey, mine came with a little umbrella,” he said, plucking it out and sticking it in your hair. “You guys crashed before us last night.”

“We were tired. Mom mentioned bonfire tonight?” you asked.

“Mhm,” he hummed, sucking on the straw until you saw half of it gone in ten seconds. You grabbed it away and asked for some water for him. “Hey, I’m thirsty.”

“What are you? Freshman on her first spring break? That thing has so much alcohol in it,” you said.

“Tastes like kool aid to me,” he said, taking a sip of the water, reaching for his drink again when you pulled it away.

“Do I have to have the talk with you?” you asked. “Pace yourself?”

“To use your words from that conversation, I won’t let the boys take advantage of me,” he deadpanned, cocking his head as wiped the sweat off your face. “So how’s Mr. TJ enjoying himself?”

“He’s good. I think he’s a little awestruck. He forgets we…” you shrugged.

“Have money? Well that’s because we don’t give you guys everything you want,” he said. “And you hate shopping thank god.”

“You gave me what I wanted,” you said, taking a sip of the pink drink, catching the soft smile on his face.

“We could live in a cardboard box and you’d be happy kiddo. You got different wants than most well off twenty somethings,” he said.

“I know,” you said, swinging your feet off the end of the bar stool, one of your flip flops falling off.

“Proud of you,” he said with a smile.

“What’d I do?”

“Just proud of you is all,” he said with a shrug. “You’re getting all grown up.”

“Yeah. Still feel like JJ’s older than me sometimes,” you said, his head cocking. “She doesn’t hesitate. She goes for stuff and I still overthink things so much.”

“Well...first off she’s ten so her problems consist of who sat next to who at lunch and the fact she can’t braid her hair,” he said. “You had slightly different priorities at ten. You missed that phase.”

“I can’t even braid my own hair good,” you mumbled.

“Y/N,” he grumbled.

“I know,” you said.

“Honey. Why do you think we go on big family vacations? We want you to get to have those chances to be a kid. We’re all just big kids. Case and point, you know what we get up to when the little kids aren’t around and someday they’ll get in on the secret too,” he said.

“Just feels funny sometimes,” you said. “I feel like a fake grown up, you know?”

“Yup. One hundred percent yup,” he said, taking his pink drink back. “Fake it til you make it.”

“Okay, I think we get you back to the beach before I have to divulge this new beverage of choice information to Uncle Jared,” you said.

“I will disown you,” he said

“No you won’t,” you said with a smirk, grabbing the drink and chugging the rest of it down.

“Got me there,” he said. “This time, you’re on my team.”

“Hey, Y/N?” asked JJ while you walked up to the house from the fire you were having on the beach that night.

“Mhm,” you hummed, holding open the door for her before she took off to the bathroom. You headed to the kitchen and started to grab some snacks and drinks to bring back down. You were nearly packed up when she came back.

“Can I ask a question about being brave?” she asked. You spun around, giving her a smile.

“Being brave? Isn’t that more dad’s department?” you teased. “Yeah, shoot. Everything okay?”

“Um...well...I didn’t want to come up to the house by myself,” she said. You tilted your head as you headed out the backdoor, JJ a little close as you walked across the deck area. “I don’t like the dark.”

“I don’t like the dark either,” you said. “But I do like nighttime.”

“Isn’t that kind of funny?” she asked.

“A little,” you said, slowing your walk back, stopping when you were halfway between the house and the beach, taking a seat on the step. She sat next to you, lifting her head up when you looked up. “S’quiet at night. Peaceful.”

“Stars are pretty,” she said.

“Yeah, they are,” you said, buming her shoulder. “You know, it’s okay to be scared of the dark, especially places you don’t know. This place is safe though. You don’t have to be scared here.”

“I know. I keep waiting to get older so I’m not scared of stuff, like how mom and dad let you do stuff by yourself and you don’t have to ask permission to sleepover TJ’s,” she said.

“I’m a lot older, JJ,” you said. “It’s part of growing up...and part of that is learning you don’t ever stop being completely scared of stuff. You learn more though so it doesn’t seem so bad.”

“Yeah but how are you brave?” she asked.

“Only time you can be brave is when you’re afraid,” you said. “It’s like how dad used to be afraid of public speaking.”

“No he didn’t,” she scoffed.

“Yeah, he did. But he did it, even though he was scared, and now he has so much fun at conventions. Sometimes it’s just something that takes time, like not being afraid of the dark,” you said, looking around. “Like how it’s pretty dark right now but you don’t seem scared.”

“I guess...I’m not,” she said, looking around, giving you a smile when she turned back.

“See? Nighttime ain’t so bad,” you said.

“Yeah, it’s pretty,” she said with a nod, staring at you, that same look she’d been giving you more and more lately.

“JJ, if you want to ask a question, go ahead,” you said softly.

“If something ever happened to mom and dad...would me and Ro and Zepp go to a foster home like you did?” she asked. You smiled and shook your head, glancing down at the beach.

“No. No. Mom and dad...they have it all squared away so grandma and grandpa would take care of you guys and I would be a guardian along with them,” you said.

“A guardian?” she asked.

“Yeah. It means I’m an adult, not your parent, but I’ll take care of you like a parent would. Before I was adopted, mom and dad were like guardians for me,” you said. “You’d stay at home, same school, all that.”

“You’d take care of us?” she asked.

“I’m your big sister. I’d do anything for you guys,” you said, giving her a hug.

“Why’d your mom and dad not do that for you so you didn’t have to go to foster care?” she asked.

“I didn’t have much for blood relatives. My parents were only kids and my other grandparents were all gone before I was born. But they had a plan, some of their friends said sure if something ever happened to them they would take care of me,” you said.

“They lied?”

“No, I don’t think they lied,” you said, leaning back against the step behind you, propping your elbows up. “They just...weren’t prepared to take care of a kid.”

“So you went to a foster home?” she asked.

“After I got out of the hospital, yeah,” you said with a nod.

“Was it scary?” she asked quietly. “The car crash?”

“I don’t really remember a lot from that night. I hit my head in the accident so stuff is fuzzy. But I remember glimpses from inside the car and yeah, it was scary. It was really scary,” you said.

“Who took care of you?” she asked.

“There was this police officer. Dougie. He was probably Uncle Jared’s age. Big strong guy but super friendly. I crawled out of the car around the time he got there. It was pitch black and raining and I was crying and everything hurt...and he just picked me up, sat me down in the backseat of his car with him and he was just quiet. He put a blanket around me and sat there and held my hand and he never left my side until we got to the hospital and the doctor’s had to look at me. He even came to visit me the next day,” you said. “Other people were there and stitched me up but Dougie took care of me that night. I can remember Dougie.”

“What happened when you got better?” she asked.

“Well I met with some people when I was in the hospital, including Cole,” you said. “They went over some stuff with me. Cole went out of his way to help with all my parents stuff and arrangements and all that. A week after the accident, he took me to my first foster home. There were about eight other kids there,” you said. “I had to share a room with three other girls. All I wanted to do was cry so that’s what I did.”

“But then you got happier?”

“No,” you said, shaking your head. “I didn’t get happier until I came to our house. I didn’t want to admit it but that first day, I knew mom and dad were different and they were good, all you guys were.”

“I remember when I got in trouble that time, when I told you to go away around Christmas?” she said. “Dad said you had mean mom and dads before.”

“You know he wasn’t talking about no hugs and kisses, now, huh,” you said. She nodded, looking over at you. “Someday I’ll tell you more but you’re too young right now for that.”

“I won’t tell anyone,” she said. “Promise.”

“No, kiddo. I get that. I want you to-”

“Mom and dad are good so I’m not afraid,” she said, blinking at you a few times. “Just a little. Please?”

“...I used to be very afraid of touch, from guys, like dad. My first birthday party, when I’d been here a week, he held my hand to try and walk with me to the kitchen and I ripped right out of it because I was afraid...because that’s what I learned in foster care. Not all of them were like that and I do not want you to have the wrong impression. It helps a lot of kids. It helped me with finding mom and dad. But some places are bad and someday you can learn why I ended up in those ones but-”

“If you were in bad ones, why’d you come to us?” she asked.

“Because Cole helped me and when they tried to make me leave, stuff happened and I got to stay home,” you said.

“You were afraid of dad?”

“That was a long, long time ago,” you said, smiling as you heard a whistle from the beach. “But he was slow and gentle when I’d forgotten that’s how you’re supposed to be treated. We have really amazing parents, JJ. Even you helped me way back then.”

“Me? What’d I do?”

“Honestly, I have no idea. Just know I love you, squirt,” you said, giving the top of her head a kiss. “You want a piggyback ride?”

She hopped on your back and you nearly stumbled forward, picking up the basket and carrying it down to the beach with a grunt.

“I forgot how heavy she is now,” you breathed out when she climbed off and took a seat. You handed out the drinks, your mom grabbing you when you walked past.

“Everything okay?” she whispered.

“Mhm. Just a little bonding time,” you said. “We’re all good.”

“Never have I ever?” asked Jared, your mom shaking her head. “Oh, they know you guys get up to stuff. We all heard about the couch make out session. Oh, I got it...first time you snuck out and got caught.”

You’d heard both your parents stories before as they told them, Gen patting herself on the shoulder for technically only getting caught by the family dog.

“What about the youngin’s? TJ?” asked Jared.

“Oh come on. It’s TJ. He probably never even snuck out,” said your dad.

“Junior year of high school. Went to the end of year party. Asked out Hallie Knicks. I got completely rejected but I did manage to get drunk and walk home straight through the front door. My parents thought I was playing a prank on ‘em,” said TJ.

“Wait you snuck out, came home drunk, admitted it yourself and got off scot free?” asked Jared.

“Yup,” said TJ.

“Shit. I want your parents,” said Jared. TJ chuckled, everyone turning to you, your parents wearing big smirks. “Out with it, kiddo. When’d you ditch these dorks?”

“No, the game is first time you snuck out and got caught,” said your dad, raising an eyebrow. “Which we never did…”

“I never snuck out at their house,” you said with a shrug. “First time I was ten.”

“Ten? Whoa, don’t be telling JJ that,” said your dad.

“What’d you do? Go to a friends house?” asked Jared.

“Tried to runaway. Didn’t get far. Cop brought me back twenty minutes later,” you said, digging your feet into the sand, letting it fall through your toes. “Not a good night.”

You glanced up, the conversation dying out, your dad squeezing his beer bottle as he narrowed his eyes at the fire.

“Hey mom? How’d you fall in love with dad?” you asked.

“Jensen stole her from the mental ward,” teased Jared.

“At least mine’s not a demon,” he said.

“Demons have more fun,” said Gen.

“Yeah, yeah,” said your dad, your mom rolling he eyes with a smile. “So dad and I got a job on the same movie…”

“Wha?” you mumbled, lifting your head off TJ’s shoulder.

“Come here,” he said quietly, lifting you out of the beach chair, your arms going around the back of his neck. The fire was still going, your dad and Jared sitting there, laughing about something. “Let’s put you to bed.”

“Night, Jared,” you mumbled.

“Night, Y/N.”

“Night, dad,” you breathed into TJ’s neck, half asleep already. “Breakfast.”

“I remember. Breakfast in bed tomorrow,” said TJ. “Let’s get you put away, sweetie.”

He carried you all the way back to the cottage, helping you wash off the sand from your feet before he plucked off your clothes, threw one of his tees on you and threw the covers over you.

“You’re not coming to bed?” you said when he headed back for the door.

“In a little while. I was going to stay up a little more if that’s okay,” he said.

“Mhm. Love you.”

“Love you too, Y/N.”

The next two weeks flew by and you were seriously considering begging that you come back the next year.

“Sucks that we have to fly home tomorrow,” you said, moving slowly to some sweet music after dinner, TJ a far better dancer than he gave himself credit for.

“Yeah,” he said. “This has been nice. More than nice.”

“Want to cross something off the bucket list tonight?” you asked.

“Last time you said that, I was swimming in the ocean butt naked in the middle of the night when a piece of seaweed about gave me a heart attack,” he teased.

“Ah but we have the memory of you squealing like a little girl forever now,” you said, biting your bottom lip to hide your smile.

“What do you got in mind troublemaker?”

“Firewalking? Are you insane?” asked TJ.

“You’ve met my family so it’s quite possible,” you said, pulling him over with you. “It’ll be fun.”

“You are insane, woman,” he said, waving you to go first. You stepped up and put down your foot, feeling the heat but you walked across normally and hopped off into the sand, TJ blinking slowly at you.

“Your turn babe,” you said with a wink.

“Okay, okay, okay,” said TJ, walking a little faster, a bit more of a wince on his face but he made it through, a big huff of air escaping him. “The things you do for love.”

“Loser.”

“Loser,” he said, throwing his arm over your shoulders. “I had a dance to finish with you if I recall correctly.”

“Mind if I cut in?” you heard from behind you an hour later, TJ smiling as he stepped away and headed for your mom across the way. “Having fun tonight?”

“Yes, dad,” you said, moving a bit slower with him. “Guess what?”

“What?”

“I haven’t had a nightmare in over two months,” you said, a big smile on his face. “Well...one of those ones. I keep having this weird cat one though...”

“We’ll take it,” he said, spinning you around. “I’m glad to hear it. You seem happy lately.”

“After that epic meltdown I had finals week a few months ago, I tried to think about what you said and...I’m happy. Maybe not everyday and I know I’m just in this nice sweet spot right now but I’m not so scared of the rest of my life I guess. I got a pretty good one, you know?” you said.

“Yeah. Nice to hear you say it though,” he said as he moved around. “Mom’s already making plans to come back.”

“Oh we are so coming back,” you said.

“Figured you wouldn’t have a problem with that,” he said, looking across the way. “Think TJ will want to come with?”

“Yeah,” you said. “He seems less nervous around you. You guys talk or something?”

“Just guy stuff,” he said. He looked up at the dark sky above you, humming to himself. “I told mom I’m taking the rest of the year off.”

“Really? You’ve been busy since the show ended,” you said.

“I did 15 seasons of the show and then been busy with movies...I think I deserve a little time off,” he said with a smile. “Maybe mom and I’ll take a little time just for us if you wouldn’t mind watching the kids for a little while?”

“Never,” you said.

“Thanks, kiddo,” he said, kissing the top of your head before he broke off. “Go dance with your boyfriend. This is one of those moments you remember when you’re my age.”

“You’re not old dad,” you said.

“Yes! She finally said it!” he said with a fist pump.

“TJ? There’s a senile old man over here I need to get away from,” you said.

“I’ll take him,” said your mom, skirting over to your dad.

“Of course you will,” you said, grabbing TJ’s hand. “Want to head back to the cottage?’

“Yes please.”

“Alright,” said your dad, plopping down on the couch back in Austin the next night. “Kids are finally down.”

“TJ, where’s your sweatshirt?” you asked, rubbing your arms in the ice cold house. “Someone left the AC on.”

“I left it on the couch,” he said, munching on some pizza from the kitchen. The flight home had been long and it was late, everyone in bed and you were secretly just waiting for TJ to get his butt in bed so you could go to sleep too.

You grabbed the sweatshirt and tossed it on, shoving your hands in the pockets to get warm. You felt something odd though and pulled it out, holding up the square object for a few seconds before it clicked what it was.

You spun wide eyed towards the kitchen but TJ was already in front of you, snatching it out of your hands.

“Is that…” you said, swallowing as you looked up at him. He smiled and nodded, starting to bend down when you jumped up and threw your arms around him.

“Not even gonna let me ask, huh?” he teased.

“Sorry,” you said, peeling away for a moment as he got down.

“So...I was totally going to do this down there…” he said, glancing at your sweatshirt. “But I forgot my sweatshirt here.”

“You dork,” you said, smiling hard.

“Your dork for as long as you’ll have me. Would you marry me?” he asked.

“Yes,” you said, TJ standing up and opening the box, slipping on the ring. “Did that really just happen?”

“I think so,” he said. You gave him a big kiss, his hands cupping your cheeks before you were laughing too hard and had to pull back. “Hey now, no take backs.”

“No. Never,” you said, grabbing his hands. “Never.”

“Good,” he said, kissing you again. “Love you.”

“Love you,” you said, biting your bottom lip, getting another hug before you realized your dad was poking his head around the stairs to the TV room, whipping it back around when he saw you. “You can stop hiding dad.”

“Just giving you two your moment,” he said, giving you a smile when he came back in. He smiled and nodded at you both, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’ll uh...well I’ll see you two in the morning, hm?”

He hummed as he walked past, his smile turning to a smirk as he glanced around the corner back at you.

“He knew, didn’t he,” you said, looking to TJ.

“I asked,” said TJ. “He’s known about two weeks.”

“I’m going to guess it was a yes?” you asked.

“Well-” started TJ, your dad shaking his head. “Just guy stuff really.”

“Yup. Night, kids. We’ll go out to breakfast or something,” said your dad, looking you up and down and then at TJ. “I think you’re in good hands now.”

“Yeah. I am,” you said, grinning back at TJ. “Night dad.”

“Night kiddo.”

Jensen’s POV

“The kids finally going to bed?” asked De when I walked in our room. I hummed and sat on the edge of the mattress, crawling under the covers and hitting off the light. She rolled over and pulled my arm around her shoulders, nuzzling into my right side. She was warm and soft and there was still that little flutter there. “Jensen?”

“Yeah. Everyone’s heading to bed,” I said, giving her a light squeeze. “I love you.”

“I love you, hun,” she said, nestling her head on the pillow, taking a few deep breaths. “He finally did it, didn’t he. You got that look.”

“Yup. We got a son-in-law on the way,” I said, smiling at her.

“What was her reaction? You see it?” she asked.

“I think some of that weight she carries just went away for good. Not all of it but...she was happy. She’s happy,” I said, closing my eyes. “She’s happy.”

“You can cry, Jens,” she said gently.

“I’m happy too,” I said.

“Not every day your oldest girl gets engaged,” she said. “To one of the arguably sweetest men on Earth.”

“He’ll take care of her,” I said. “He already takes care of her.”

“We did good. You did good,” she said. “Set an example of what she deserves.”

“I guess we did, huh? Not too bad for two people who had no idea what they were doing,” I said.

“Eh, we figured it out eventually,” she said. “Let’s sleep. I have to wake up early and make some celebration cupcakes or something now before breakfast burritos.”

“You excited? You got a wedding to plan,” I said.

“Yeah,” she said. “Just wish we got her sooner.”

“You always say that,” I said.

“Still true,” she yawned. “Night. Wake me up if any other life changing developments happen.”

“Eh...maybe,” I teased, earning a playful whack on the chest. “You know I do that on purpose right?”

“Tease me? No. I haven’t figure it out yet,” she deadpanned, leaning up for a moment.

“Night, De,” I said, pecking her lips. She smiled and slid back into bed. Her breath evened out quickly and I started to drift, running over the conversation that’d been playing over and over for weeks now.

“Hey,” I said when TJ came back down to the beach after carrying Y/N to the cottage. “Someone forget a phone?”

“No, wanted to stay and hang out a while longer if that’s cool,” he said. I hummed, Jared looking back and forth between us.

“I’ll uh, give you guys some privacy,” said Jared, patting my shoulder. I almost stopped him but he smirked. “I got some of my own fun to be had.”

“Don’t whine too much for Gen,” I shot back, Jared giving a light punch to my arm as he stood up. TJ stood up and took a seat closer, grabbing another beer and cracking it open, drinking down about half of it before he peeled his eyes away from the fire. “Something wrong?”

“No,” he said, shaking his head. “No. I’ve been having this conversation in my head for...a year and I still don’t know how to start.”

Oh.

Oh.

He…

“You want to marry her, don’t you?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he said, nodding and giving me a smile. “Yeah, I do. I really fucking do.”

“Well...get to the asking permission part. Worst that could happen is I say no,” I said. He looked like he forgot how to blink.

“If you say no?” he asked.

“Why don’t you ask and find out?” I said. I knew I sounded like an ass but this was important. I knew he didn’t want to screw it up but-

“I’m not asking permission to marry, Y/N, Jensen,” he said. I raised an eyebrow, leaning forward in my seat.

“Well what are you asking?” I said, tilting my head at him.

“Am I good enough for her?” he asked. I scrunched up my face, closing my eyes before I held up a hand. “Am I? I know she can do better but do you think I’m good enough? She would say yes to me?”

“TJ,” I said, sitting back in my seat, running my hand over my mouth. “You know her. I mean really know her. You have her trust and unconditional love. She doesn’t give those out to just anybody. She doesn’t tell just anyone about everything she’s been through. You’re in a very elite club.”

“I don’t...I am asking you, her dad, on this but am I a good enough man for her?” he asked. “Please. Yes or no. That’s all I want.”

“I don’t think you’re good enough,” I said, his gaze dropping to the sand. “I think you’re better. You’re pretty close to perfect for her, probably the most perfect for her if it exists.”

He lifted his eyes up, a little wide, a little hesitant but he quickly gave a short nod.

“TJ...I know I mess with you sometimes. It’s one of the joys of being a father to girls. But...if you wanted to marry Y/N, I’d be pretty happy with that,” I said.

“Okay,” he said quietly, leaning back in his chair. “Okay.”

“Okay,” I said, taking a sip of my beer. “I guess that just happened.”

He let out a quiet laugh, glancing over almost shy like now.

“What?” I asked.

“You know you set a pretty high standard,” he said. “When it comes to Y/N.”

“Ready to keep it up the rest of her life?” I asked.

“If she let’s me,” he said, sitting back in his chair.

“You’re gonna get the hang of this real easy,” I said with a chuckle.

“Jensen,” he said.

“Yeah, kid?”

“Is it normal to fall in love fast?” he asked.

“How fast?”

“Second week of freshman year,” he said. “She wore this yellow tank top and faded shorts and her hair was in this pretty side braid and she was going on about making a study group for Biology and I just thought, fuck me. I love this girl. What the hell are you doing, TJ?”

“Still feel that way?” I asked.

“Oh yeah,” he said.

“It don’t go away either,” I said. He smiled and nodded, looking up at the stars for a few minutes. “Ask all your burning questions. Secrets safe with me.”

“Why’d you adopt her?” he asked.

“Cause we loved her,” I said.

“Yeah but...I don’t know,” he said.

“A piece of paper doesn’t make someone family,” I said. “I think you know that.”

“Then why?” he asked.

“A couple reasons. It makes things easier legal wise. It helps for medical reasons, if De and I were ever in an accident, if Y/N was, stuff like that. But we knew what it meant to her and to us,” I said.

“What’s it mean to you? I know her side,” he said.

“She told me for her it meant she couldn’t be thrown away. For me, it meant she couldn’t be taken away,” I said.

“I don’t follow,” said TJ.

“Say you had a kid, a daughter. Best day ever, right? She comes home and you spend the next seven months or so watching her grow, loving her, being a dad to her. That’s your baby girl. You’d do anything for her. I know you know what I mean because of Y/N but kids...kids are even more special. So you got this girl you’d give the world for and she loves you even if she can’t quite say it yet. But she does and you know she does. How do you think you would you feel if someone came to your front door and said they were taking away your baby girl and there was nothing you could do to stop it?”

“I’d say that’s my kid and I’m calling the cops,” he said.

“What if a cop was one of the people there to take her?” I said.

“But it’s my kid and I didn’t do anything wrong. Isn’t that kidnapping?” he asked.

“Felt like it. I never felt more helpless in my life than the day we almost lost her. I was pissed. More than pissed. But technically, they could take her and I had no right to make her stay,” I said.

“That was the stuff with the chick at the office,” he said.

“I hope you never have to know what that feels like, TJ. For a split second, it was even worse because for one little second-“

“She thought you asked them to take her back. I know. She feels guilty about thinking that sometimes,” he said. I gave him a long look, shaking my head when he shrugged. “You know how she is.”

“Yeah,” I said.

“So you adopted her so no one could take her away again?” he asked.

“It shouldn’t have been on her to be the smart one and figure out what had been going on. I got lucky she’s smart and the fact she was ready to get some closure on the accident. If she hadn’t saved her own ass, we wouldn’t be talking right now,” I said.

“Maybe it wasn’t. But she’s not a damsel in distress either,” said TJ.

“No. She’s certainly not one of those,” I said with a smirk. “Still though. I’m her dad. It doesn’t matter how old you get. Your parents still want to protect you.”

“I get that. I get the whole adopting so she’s yours thing too. But I just feel like, say Y/N didn’t know that stuff and she did get taken away...I have a feeling you still would have wound up as her dad,” he said.

“I guess I’m not following now,” I said.

“You’re joking, right?” he asked.

“Nope,” I said.

“Alright. Say your kid gets taken away and you can’t do anything about it. Say you wait until that kid turns eighteen and becomes an adult, you know, has more rights about who they want to speak to and hang out with. You’re telling me that you, super dad over here, wouldn’t try to get in touch with her again?”

“I think I would have fought for her to stay. But even if I lost, doesn’t mean I’m not her dad,” I said. “All that matters is what she thinks and she wanted me so she’s got me. Again, I don’t need a piece of paper to tell me that. All it did was make things a little easier for me. For her, it eased some worries so she can have it.”

“I know there’s this big packet in her closet in this duffel bag she keeps in there. Only thing in it. You gave that to her on her adoption day. Adopting her means more to you than you’re saying,” he said.

“TJ. I love her to death. She’s my daughter and you’re gonna be my son in law so I know you love her to death too. What are you trying to get at?” I asked.

“I don’t know. Just...I guess I wanted to hear that you adopted her not just for her but for you too,” he said.

“Why is that important to you?” I asked.

“Isn’t the point of having kids because you want them? Isn’t that like the selfish part of it?”

“TJ. If we had wanted another kid, there was a far easier and cheaper way to go about it. Being a foster parent and adopting her? Yeah, that’s one of the most selfish things I’ve ever done. I did it for her but I did it for me and our family too,” I said.

“Good,” he said, taking a drink.

“Oh, well glad I got your permission on it,” I laughed. “I got a question for you, Mr. TJ. You gonna take a year to ask her?”

“Shut up,” he said, biting down a smile. “No. I wanted to ask her while we were here. Packed the ring up in my sweatshirt and had it all ready to go cause I was going to put that in my carry on, not risk losing that. Guess who remembered he left his sweatshirt on the back of the couch at your place when we were on the runway?” he said.

“Wow. I bet you had it all planned out, super romantic down here,” I said.

“Yup,” he said, shaking his head. “So there goes that plan.”

“Word of advice. If she loves you, I mean really loves you, it doesn’t really matter how you do it. Try to put in a little effort you know but this is Y/N we’re talking about,” I said.

“I want it to be special. She deserves that,” he said.

“It will be, no matter how it happens. TJ. Since we’re having a moment and all that, can I ask why you went after a girl like Y/N?” I asked.

“She’s my best friend,” he said.

“I mean once you knew about stuff, why didn’t you ever treat her differently?” I asked.

“Because it didn’t matter, it doesn’t,” he said.

“You’re gonna do just fine,” I said, giving him a smile.

“Fine?”

“She asks stuff like that sometimes. Normally at three in the morning but just to be aware,” I said.

“I know. When she stays over-“

“Don’t need to know,” I said.

“Sometimes we talk or just sit in bed and don’t say anything,” he said.

“Good. PG rated cuddling is awesome,” I said with a nod. “Anything else?”

“No. Just can’t wait to ask her,” said TJ. “You tip her off though and you’re dead to me.”

“Hurt her and they’ll never find your body,” I said with a smile.

“That goes for you too,” you said.

“I can agree to that,” I said as I stood up, giving him a smile. “Grab that cooler for me when you head up.”

“I ought to head to bed actually. I got a date in the morning,” he said.

“Well enjoy it,” I said, patting him on the back when he got up. “Night, kiddo.”

“Jensen?” he asked. I hummed, TJ looking down for a moment. “Thanks. For you know...I’ll be good to her, if she lets me.”

“You already are,” I said, giving you a smile. “Goodnight, TJ.”

“We did good,” I said, closing my eyes, rolling over to face Danneel. “We did real good.”

A/N: Check out The Video & The House timestamp here!

[alitheamateur]

The Grind- Chapter 24

“Stop givin’ her your back, baby. You know betta, damn it!” Colton beat the cold canvas of the ring in constructive dissatisfaction, unintentionally distracting me from Tia’s chokehold attempt.

We were doing daily training now, with the match only two weeks away. Ryan, wasn’t exactly giddy towards accepting this challenge and jumping on this particular horse, the undoubted distraction it would from my column at the Pilot. I swore, and sensibly assured him I could juggle both hefty responsibilities, but the extreme lack of sleep on my calendar these days was proving an obstacle. 

Cardio and weights with Colton routinely every morning in the basement of his place at 4:30 a.m., showered and off to work by 8, then grappling and fight training every evening with my trio. Cal would often sideline for emotional support, too. The fact that Mr. Ritter and I now shared a bed each night, his & her vanity’s in his newly remodeled bathroom thankfully equipped with a bathtub large enough for the both of us, and breakfast in his nook every morning made alone time easy, thankfully. I moved in swiftly after the details of my match with Katrina Bexley from Franklin Park were on paper, accepting Colt’s offer to share a home with him happily.

The contents of my place were relocated to our home within a couple of days, before the cool of Pittsburgh autumn disembarked. He let me sprinkle a feminine touch here and there without dispute, and even bought me my very own pink punching bag for the basement as a housewarming welcome.

“Livvy, c’mon! Take her down, you’ve got it!” My boyfriend turned trainer encouraged.

His part in my preparation had been a surprising positive for our relationship. I could tell, despite how frightened he was for my welfare, that the common ground of fighting we now shared was one he appreciated. He kept up my diet plan with me, avoiding to dare come home with pizza, beer, or burgers, and most nights we’d watch his old fight films, or any other female matches he could dig up online. He’d rest his back on the arm of the plush sectional I’d brought from my old apartment, I’d settle between his legs resting my head on the muscled pillow of his core, and he’d talk me through each move listing the do’s and don’ts.

I carefully counted the seconds, waiting for the exact moment to pummel Tia to the mat, fearing I would misstep. Then, like I’d been doing it my entire life, I locked her into a double leg takedown, and she grunted in discomfort when her head bounced like a ball off the canvas.

“Touché, LC! That was excellent. I’ll bust your nose if you do it again, but it was perfect,” Tia pulled the slimy mouthguard from her teeth as she stood to her feet.

The ring at the Temple had become as much my home as the one I was creating with Colton these days. I often showered in the locker room there at night after sessions, allowing me to crawl directly in bed after the short drive home if need be.

“Hit the sauna with me before you head out?” I asked Tia, hopefully.

We were on much sturdier ground now, and she’d even spent a handful of nights at our house for dinner. Colton and she were teetering a little on the line beyond civil, giving me hopes of a friendship for the two of them in the works.

She came out of her latest match victoriously, and Colt & I were there to support on the front row. However, her eye had suffered quite the beating in the bloody battle, so she was out of commission to compete for at least 6 weeks recommended by her surgeon.

“I’d love to. God knows I need it. But I have an early shift in the morning at the boutique, so I’m gonna head out.”

Colton snuck up my back stealthily during our conversation, wrapping his arms around my neck to kiss my cheek, and the sweat soaked hair stuck to it.

“I think I may know somebody else who has a few extra minutes to occupy the sauna with ya’, 2-1.”

“Ahhhh, fuckin’ hell, you sleeze. I’m out on that note,” Tia made a gagging reference then grabbed her bag to retreat.

 Colton sat aside me on the oak bench of the spacious sauna, with my feet swung over his toweled groin so he could massage the aching, knotted muscles of my calves. It was quiet the first several minutes, so I took the peaceful silence as an opportunity to close my eyes for some long overdue rest. The two of us had already “christened” the very room a few weeks ago, so I knew that nagging plea from Colton had been satisfied and he wouldn’t be begging me. For at least another few days.

“Have you talked to your parents lately? Since you told them about the fight?” He asked, his words breaking through the thick, white steam of the sauna.

He had yet to meet my parents in person, but I settled for a Skype introduction before I moved in. Something felt eerily unsettling about moving with a man when my parents didn’t even know his hair color. My mother, however old, but very clearly not dead, almost yelped when Colton’s fetching smile came into view of the camera, and even dad complimented his “impeccable politeness.”

“Yeah. Dad texted the other day to ask if it would be streaming online so they could watch. I’m sorta shocked at how excited he is. I didn’t think he’d be over the moon about the idea of his daughter getting her face beat in.” I jerked when my personal, irresistible masseuse worked over a deep dwelling tender spot in my leg.

“I think you should have them out here, babe. He’s excited that your competing in somethin’ again, I betcha. They could stay in the guest room at the house,” he calmly, yet very suggestively stated.

Dad being proud of me again, and the thought of hearing his cheers from the stands, was a fond idea, no doubt. But, the possibility of having him come so far, only to get my sorry butt handed to me, and disappoint him once again, wasn’t keen to me.

“I love you, Colt, but we’re gonna have to agree to disagree here. I think having them here, to watch the fight, would just create way too many unnecessary nerves for me, ya’ know?”

He never said another word that night in the aspect of my mom and dad, and we made the journey home.

 Later in the same week, Colton took me to a sweet spot in his precious ‘Burgh to help me check fight night attire off my checklist. He knew what I liked, and more importantly, what I needed to avoid feeling too constricted, and asked if he could call in a favor so the seamstress could have it made up when we arrived. The Pilot was sponsoring me, along with Temple Fitness, and Andrew tossed his hat in for The Grind, as well. I was grateful they’d been so generous with sponsorship donations, and considered it an honor to wear their banners.

The address Colton drove us to was a hole in the wall, and I would’ve considered it abandoned and drove on by had I passed the place myself. But he heeded the tailor was a gem, and one of the finest ladies he’d ever met. When we entered, a teeny bell atop the door jingled, and a teenage girl staring into a book at the counter raised a smile to greet us.

“Hey there, Tessa. How ya’ doin’?” Colton acknowledged the girl by her first name, clearly proving he frequented the place often.

She beamed a candy apple blush at Colton’s ‘hello’, her no older than 16-year-old heart skipping a beat. I didn’t blame her. When I was her age, Nathan Rogers made me quiver that very same way. Was there a single, heterosexual female within 5,000 thousand miles that didn’t want to lick my boyfriend like a melting popsicle?

“I think ya’ grandmother has something ready for me to pick up.” Colt leaned upon the counter, as if feeding into the poor girls drooling response. Much like my own reaction the very first time I laid eyes on him.

“She said you’d be by today. Let me grab it for you!” Tessa jumped from her seat to answer her favorite customers beckoning call.

“That poor girl almost tripped over her own tongue when you walked in here, Ritter. Don’t smile at her like that too much. Give the female population at break, damn it.” I nudged him once the girl disappeared behind the stock room door.

“You gave them a break when ya’ took me off the market and claimed me, baby,” he stuck his tongue out playfully and winked. Of course.

“Oh, what I service I did for my fellow man, huh?” I countered his cheekiness with my own gentle pinch to his toned rear end.  

When the young clerk emerged, she unfolded a black pair of elastic, compression shorts trimmed in pink. The letters of my name printed boldly across the waistband, the young lady observed Colton and I, hoping to gauge any reaction of satisfaction to the product.

“I thought about having Sally put ‘Luscious Liv’ on ‘em, just to stick you with a shit ring name like the one I got.” Colton snidely declared.

“Thank God, you have a heart and decided against that one. For your sake, smartass,” I grabbed him by the face to shake him flippantly. “I love them though, Colt. And, I just might love you, too.”

“Appreciate it as always, Tess!”

Tags: @torialeysha @eap1935 @littleluna98 @mollybegger-blog

A/N: Apologies for the brief chapter, my angels. I’ll make it up to you! I’ve got lots I need to be writing, but it seems my brain is on vacation. Doing the best I can for you all, and hopefully you’ll hang in there with me!

[notanotherbaptistpodcast]

Matt’s Big Announcement – Transcript

Matt: Welcome to Not Another Baptist podcast. A weekly podcast about what two pastors are learning in the trenches of church revitalization. My name is Matt Henslee and I'm the pastor of Mayhill Baptist in Mayhill, New Mexico, and the managing editor of LifeWay Pastors. And I'm joined as always by none other than- Kyle: Kyle Bueerman, pastor of First Baptist Church of Alamogordo, New Mexico, director of Replanter Development for the North American Mission Board. And I am proud to carry the banner, to wave the banner saying that we need to return to 1920s fashion in the 2020s. Matt: Hey, man, I bought three suits while I was on vacation. Kyle: I saw that, man. You're going like ... Yeah, up there. Things are about to get spiffy up on the mountain, man. Matt: Going to get spiffy. So, is part of that fashion going to involve suspenders? Do I need to get those too? Kyle: So, I'm planning on getting some matching suspenders and bow ties, yes. Matt: Okay. Kyle: Because that is ... So, if you just kind of Google like 1920s fashions, that's a lot of what pops up along with like tweed suits. So, vests, if you have a vest, matching suspenders, and a bow tie. Matt: Well, I should have kept that in mind when I bought the suits that are not tweed nor do they have a vest. But I was kind of snarky and I asked my mom, "What did people wear in the 20s?" And she just looked at me and said, "I'm taking you out of the will." To those that are listening, my mom was born in 1938, but the ongoing joke in our family is that she was close personal friends with Moses growing up. So, yeah. And speaking of, dude, I just got out of the car. Kyle: Mm-hmm (affirmative). Matt: From 550 miles. From VFW to Mayhill. And do you know what it's doing outside right now? Kyle: It's snowing. As a matter of fact, it is snowing. Matt: It's snowing. Kyle: In the desert, believe it or not. Well, I think I walked into my family and I said, "Hey, guys, it's s-raining." And everybody was like, "What?" I said, "Well, it's like a rain/snow mix." Yeah. I'm on my way back home from the church, there were definite snowflakes mixed in with the raindrops on my windshield here in New Mexico. Matt: What I can say is outside of our house right now, it is totally white. It's sticking. Kyle: That's awesome. Matt: And it's like a Christmas miracle and it I love it especially. I think that was one of my grievances is the fact that anytime I go out of town it snows, and it did this time. Kyle: I would say. And a big one, right? Y'all get a big snowstorm- Matt: A big one, yeah. Kyle: ... out there. Matt: And then, I came back and was expecting it to be like a thousand degrees and no snow in sight, but it is very cold, and it's snowing. Kyle: That's awesome. Matt: And so, I don't know. I guess we need to go back and record another Festivus episode. Kyle: Oh, don't worry. I have grievances on this one. Matt: Oh, yeah. I'm sure you do because ... Is Jason Garrett still the coach? Kyle: Yes. Jason Garrett, after like five meetings with the Cowboys. Yes, he is still the coach. So, I'm retracting my Festivus grievance. I kind of tempered that. No, I'm offering a full retraction. The Cowboys are at the top of my grievance list at least until today. We'll get to that in a minute. I have other grievances after today. Matt: Oh, man. Oh, man. It's so good to be back. My mom and dad's house is like 80 degrees, and so we came home, and I had forgotten that I turned the heater down because we'd be gone. Kyle: Right. Matt: And I came in and it was like 55 degrees in the house and I was like, "Oh, this is amazing." And then my girls are like all wearing their jackets and stuff. They're like, "Daddy, can we turn on the heater? I was like, "Uh, not yet. Not yet. Let's just savor this moment for just a second." Kyle: So, I actually have a story about when we were up in Clayton in the northeast part of New Mexico, it got cold up there. And we left for our Christmas break or something and same thing. I turned that heater way down to like 55, 60 degrees. I don't think we had any pets at that point except a fish we left behind, and somebody came in to feed it. I did not consider the fish when I turned the house to like 55. And so, this fish's name was Ranger because he was red and blue, and I think I froze Ranger to death over that Christmas break because it got too cold in the house. So, yeah. Matt: It was just a metaphor for the ongoing Ranger's play-offs. Kyle: Yes. Yeah, yeah, that's right. Yep. As dead as a floating fish in the tank. Matt: Did you have a good Christmas? Kyle: I did, yeah. We went to my in-laws, Michelle's parents, in northeastern New Mexico and we saw quite a bit of snow. It was one of those ... Man, it was great. So, we got to their house. We drove up on Christmas day and got to their house, and I did not leave their house until I went to go fill up my truck with gas on Saturday morning before we headed back. So, it was great. Just one of those Christmases where you're just with some family and have a good time. Lots of cards, lots of dominoes. We had a great time, so. Matt: We don't do any cards, we don't do any dominoes. It's pretty much just football on TV. And it doesn't matter if it's high school, college, pro, it's just on 24/7 for my dad. And you'll ask him what the score is. And this time, my dad, there were moments where those that are listening know my dad, his health is failing pretty quickly, and there's times that he's just kind of there and somewhat vegetable. I mean, he doesn't really talk, he won't really respond. But I mentioned, I was like, "What's the score?" And he said, "Well, you can see the score yourself." I was like, "Whoa, that's the Dad I remember." Kyle: That's good. Matt: We had a good time. And what's always nice is my mom is ... She like forces Rebecca and I to have dates. And because of where we live and some of that kind of stuff, we don't often get dates unless the girls are in school, things like that. But my mom wanted like unhindered time with the girls to clean, and they learned how to iron, and cook, and all that kind of stuff. Kyle: Oh, hey, that's a productive trip. Matt: Yeah. And then we just went to- Kyle: So, for a homeschool family, we count those as school days where those things happen. Matt: Yeah. No, you count that. Yeah, totally. Kyle: Like when we were at Disney, we went to the Hall of Presidents. "Okay, kids, this is a field trip now." We're checking off all these days. Matt: I love it. But we had a good time and I went to Whataburger twice. Kyle: Oh, wow. Matt: I went three times over Thanksgiving, but just twice this time. I was trying to "new year, new me." I didn't want to overdo it. And we did go to In-N-Out to have a lesser burger along the way, and that slider was just what I expected. But yeah, it was a good trip, so. Kyle: Good, good. That's awesome. Matt: Yeah, we're glad to be back. And as soon as we finished recording this, I think I'm going to take a nap. I'm tired. Kyle: That's great. Well, hey, speaking of the trip that you made today, there was some news that broke while you were driving, I believe, if I'm not mistaken. Matt: And it wasn't Jason Garrett getting fired? Kyle: No, it was not. Sadly, it was not. Matt: No. And I don't quite know what the news you're talking about, but I'm sure it was great. Kyle: Okay, fine. So, I'll share it. So, earlier today, our friend Dr. Bart Barber, pastor of First Baptist Church in Farmersville, Texas announced that he is nominating you this summer in Orlando at the 2020 Southern Baptist Convention. He is nominating you to serve as president of the 2021 SBC Pastors' Conference in Nashville, Tennessee. And so, my first item of business is to say that we need to have Bart come on the show because I have many questions. Yeah, in fact- Matt: The first one is- Kyle: For recording, I know we don't have video for this, but I'm legit drinking out of my RC. Sproul "what's wrong with you people" mug right now because I thought that was appropriate for the announcement that came out today. Matt: Yeah, yeah. And let me just say, it's a wonderful thing with just the timing of it was that I drive from Dallas to Abilene, and to get us out of the traffic, all that kind of stuff. Kyle: Yeah. Because y'all left early this morning too. Matt: Oh, yeah. Kyle: You were on the road early. Matt: Yeah, we left about 5:45. And so, we got to Abilene, saw a dear friend of mine who's a pastor there, and visited with him. And I sat in a Corvette that has my name on it, but he won't sell it to me because he's trying to save me. He doesn't want me to die. But yeah, I sat in it. But the best part of that story is I set the alarm off because the windows are down and it was locked, and so I just reached in and like unlocked it. And then in the middle of this showroom, people are trying to make sales and all kinds of stuff, and it was just honking uncontrollably. They couldn't find the remote for it. And so, it's just honking and honking and honking and there's Matt Henslee sitting in it like, "Hey, guys." So, yeah, it was fun to sit in, and we had a good time, but all that to say then she gets in the car, Rebecca drives from Abilene to Artesia because there's absolutely nothing. Kyle: Nope. Matt: So, there's very little ways for her to get lost because there's really no turns or anything like that. So, she just drives that part. And then I get us back up the mountain, and of course that was through some snow, so that was fun. And we made it home. But all during the time that the announcement happened, it was while I was in the passenger seat when I was going to take a nap, but my phone is just going absolutely- Kyle: Well, so I do feel better that you were texting me and responding on Facebook and Twitter while you are not driving. So, kudos there. So, I was slightly worried. I was like, "Man, he is responding a lot. If he's driving, we're going to have a talk." So, okay, good. Good job. Matt: Yeah. So, I didn't do that, but I have to tell a story that's kind of off topic. But regarding driving is I did the first part of the drive. Three of the girls were in the back. So, we still have our car in the shop. So, we took the truck, which meant we spent like $10,000 in gas. But three of the girls are in the back, and then Gracie, our youngest, was sitting in the middle between Rebecca and I. Rebecca is sound asleep. The other three girls are sound asleep and I think that Gracie is asleep. And we're driving along, and the next thing I know, she screams at the absolute top of her lungs, "Daddy's speeding. I just saw the sign, it's 70 miles per hour and you're going 73." And I about had a heart attack. And so, yeah, I said, "Go back to sleep." Matt: So, we're raising a few legalists, I guess. Kyle: Well, I will say, Matt, that if you drive the speed limit, you don't have to worry about that. Matt: This is true. This is very true. And I also know that if we did get pulled over that the first person to speak would be that daughter, "Yeah, he was speeding. Kyle: "Daddy was speeding." Matt: Yeah. Kyle: "I told him to slow down, but he didn't listen." Matt: Yeah. But it was really awesome and encouraging because ... Not of the sense of, " Hey, hey look at me" or anything like that. But people reaching out to say, "Hey, we're excited." Because my heart, as you know, is of course for the local church. But for fellow pastors that it doesn't matter if you've got 50 in your church or 5,000, there's great, phenomenal days of ministry where it's just downright magical. And then there's days of ministry where you're barely hanging on by a thread. And probably that's the lion's share of those days. And so, at times, especially those, you're in a small town. For New Mexico, you're in a big town, but it's still comparatively a small town. I'm in an unincorporated town of like 60, and it's easy to be isolated. Matt: And so, the fact that you can encourage pastors of all ages, all sizes, all backgrounds, all that kind of stuff, to really be the [inaudible 00:13:37] of one another, lifting each other's arms, and saying, "We're in this together." I mean, we have one goal. Kyle: Yeah. Matt: Whether we're in a church of 5,000 or 50 is that's to advance the kingdom. And so seeing that, it had nothing to do with me, but seeing that from people of championing one another and in encouraging fellow pastors. Kyle: Yeah. Matt: That's the only reason I'm still on Twitter, I mean, because there's not a whole lot of redeeming quality at times. Kyle: Right. Matt: But to say that I can send a tweet or a direct message or a text to somebody that's in Hot Springs or somebody that's in Florida or all over the country and just say, "Hey, it's worth it. We're in this together." Kyle: Yeah. Matt: And so, to kind of have an opportunity for that with this has been an encouragement. So, it made the drive go by very fast. It also meant that my phone stayed plugged in the entire time because- Kyle: I'm sure it did. Matt: ... it was just non-stop. Kyle: Oh, man. All right. So, let's talk about this nomination just a little bit. So, we know that right now you are serving and have for the last three years at Mayhill Baptist Church in the booming metropolis of Mayhill, New Mexico. Matt: Yes. Kyle: So, tell our listeners, because we've alluded to some previous ministry experience that the both of us have. As we've shared, we have 33 combined years in ministry. But just tell us a little bit about what that ministry history looks like for you. Matt: So, it's been just about everything, whether it's student ministry, music ministry, both of us have similar kind of past into the pastorate or at least a senior pastorate. And in one very brief stint as a children's pastor, but God graciously saved me out of that. But no, we love children's pastors too, but that was not what God had called me to. And but the- Kyle: That was a sanctifying experience is what you're telling us. Matt: Yes. Yeah. So, I really started at 16 with an opportunity to help launch a contemporary service at a local church in my hometown and as a music minister. Probably too young to be doing that kind of stuff, but it was great. It was at my memaw's church. And she's like, "I don't like the music that you'll be doing, but I think you'll be a great fit." Kyle: "I don't like these folks music either, so let's just send you over there." Matt: Yeah. And so, that's how it kind of started. And even before then, I was fortunate to really be raised as a pastor, for lack of a better word, by the associate pastor of my church growing up, where we spent every week in hospitals or nursing homes. And he constantly said then, he said, "I don't know what you're going to be called to do at 30 years old or 50 years old or whatever, but you'll never outgrow the need to remember those that are often forgotten." Kyle: Yeah. Matt: And so whether that was these old folks in a nursing home or people ... We've told the story about the person that was not deathly ill, but when I prayed for him, I said, "God, if it's your will that they die, let it be a peaceful." Kyle: Yeah. Matt: I think you remember that. But spending that time with him really kind of set that DNA for me of the forgotten people, whether it's nursing homes or hospitals, that kind of thing. Even as a youth pastor at 21 or 25, I was spending time in nursing homes and retirement homes and so forth because it's just easy to forget, because out of sight, out of mind, that kind of thing. But they need to hear the gospel and they need to continue to grow. And so, to pour into them with the free time that I had them. And so, that kind of charted the course for all of my ministry, it was always kind of a ... I don't want to call it well orbed in that I was doing a great thing, but I might've had the calling to be the youth pastor at this church, but I was still serving these people that were kind of in the shadows. And so that, I guess, just was just kind of ingrained in me. Matt: So, then now as a pastor, of course there's still the nursing homes and hospital visits, all that kind of stuff naturally as a pastor that you're going to do. But because of that just upbringing in the ministry, I've also thought of the pastors that are in the middle of nowhere. They don't necessarily have somebody in their corner, their church might be struggling. We've talked about it before. Maybe the waters of the baptism or the baptistry haven't flowed for a while and you're trying to figure out, "Why am I even doing this? Nobody even cares." That kind of thing. To remember that's why we wrote the book, of course. Kyle: Yeah, that's right. Matt: Is that God is doing an amazing work in Dallas Fort Worth and he's doing an amazing work in Mayhill, New Mexico, he's doing an amazing work wherever. If there are people there, they need to hear the gospel, and so we can work together and encourage one another. Through that, the opportunities with LifeWay Pastors and some of that came up where I can write for the pastor of the church of 5,000 or the church of the 50, and encourage all of us to work together because we ... Southern Baptists are at their best when we're worshiping together, when we're working together, when we're advancing the kingdom together. And so, it doesn't matter if you're preaching from a pub table as you do or the actual pulpit as I do, or the church that has four hymns or a church that's all contemporary. All of us, wherever we're at, we get up on Sunday morning with the same calling and that's to preach the word. Matt: And so, to encourage guys, whether they're in the middle of nowhere, whether in the middle of city, whatever, to fall in absolute love of Jesus in proclaiming his word that can say that I am doing a good work, even if nobody else notices it. Matt: And because I'm doing what God has called me to do. I'm caring for these people that others have forgotten or look past. And so, that I guess kind of brings us up to today is it started at 12 years old in the nursing homes and the hospitals. And then now is pastors of all sizes, all ages. It's nothing but just encouragement and reminding one another, as I need to be reminded, what you're doing actually matters. Whether there's a hundred people or a thousand people, it matters. And that those, a hundred people on Sunday need to hear the gospel just as faithfully as the church of 10,000 or whatever. And it doesn't that matter how big your flock is that there is no insignificant pulpit. And because all of them are significant because all of them are used by God to push back darkness and advance the kingdom. Matt: And so, it's neat to kind of come full circle, I guess, now, and see that though I'm still very young in the ministry that I hope to still be doing that at 70 years old or whatever. When I'm as old as Bart at 80 years old or something, still loving on and encouraging pastors younger than me, older than me, in bigger churches than me, smaller churches than me, all of that. And so, that's a neat opportunity with this nomination. Kyle: Yeah. And as we've talked many times here on the show, both of us are serving in normative churches, meaning, so kind of the definition of normative church is under 250 in worship on Sunday mornings. And the normative churches are over 90% of the SBC. So, you coming in as the Pastors' Conference nominee, you're coming from a place, I think, where most of our listeners, most of the SBC is guys who are not preaching to thousands every week, but are preaching to, like you said, everywhere from 50 to a hundred, most of our SBC churches. And again, we don't discount the mega churches. They do some incredible work for the kingdom and they have some incredible resources that all of us benefit from. But I think it's important that we hear from a normative guy. Notice I said normative, not normal. That's not a term I would ever use to describe Matt Henslee. Matt: This is true. Kyle: Normative. Matt: Yeah. Kyle: All right. And again, I'm a pastor serving in a normative sized church. So, as a normative sized church pastor, tell us just a little bit about kind of your goal or your vision. And I know it's early in the process, but what are you kind of ... How do you envision the Pastors' Conference going if you are in fact elected as president in June? Matt: Well, I think first we should maybe coin a new term. That I am normatively abnormal. How about that? We'll go with that. Maybe that could even be the theme of the conference. Kyle: I'll allow that. Yeah. Matt: No. Kyle: Normatively abnormal. Matt: Yeah. But so, as I shared, there there's no greater joy than serving the local church, and I would be tickled pink if God would allow me to stay here until I'm 75, 80 years old. I love this town. I love this place. I love the people, and it's a great joy to serve. God has also given me a heart and I believe a calling to serve and encourage pastors in the trenches, like I said. Whether urban or rural, which I can't even say that word, but the middle of nowhere people. All over is one of my greatest joys because I really want to see myself as a friend and a champion of pastors of all stripes. Matt: And, as we know, ministry is awesome, but like with anything, there's ups and downs. It's a roller coaster. There's times when it's great. There's times when you're like, "What am I doing?" Joys and sorrows and all of that, and I believe we can put together a Pastors' Conference for the guy on cloud nine, that life is great, church is growing, God is clearly at work. As well as the guy barely hanging onto a thread to remind him that, yes, God is still at work, that God still is working in and through and perhaps in spite of me, and even in all of these struggles. And so, I wholeheartedly believe that the Pastors' Conference can be relevant for the "nobody" as well as the somebody. The guy in the middle of nowhere, the guy in the middle of the growing city. Matt: Because as I said, Southern Baptist are at their best when we're worshiping together and what a joy to come together for a Pastors' Conference of a room full of pastors and their wives and maybe lay leaders, all of that together, all different. It's a little small taste, an appetizer, I think, of heaven. We're going to worship together. We'll sing together, all of that kind of stuff. But also come together for that simple call to cooperate and advance the kingdom. Matt: And because no matter what your size is, we all have the same job description. And so, it's not just other duties as assigned by the deacons. It's the call that we've been given by God to push back the darkness and advance his kingdom by proclaiming Christ. And so, I realized that pastoring and can lend itself to isolation, especially those of us that are kind of in no man's land. And so, my prayer is that it will be a time for kind of like that [inaudible 00:26:39] of lifting each other's arms up and saying, "We're in this together, we're going to fight together. We're going to have our disagreements, we're going to have our differences, but we're going to come together around unity in this endeavor, this call to reach the world as we preach the word." Matt: And so, whether I have a beard when I do that or not, that still remains to be seen. Kyle: That was going to be my final question, by the way. Matt: That was the Bart's thing. I've said that I've given up the autonomy of my beard to Bart Barber, and that's kind of scary. Kyle: But to be fair, Bart doesn't drink coffee, so I'm not sure his opinions can be trusted on facial hair. Matt: This is true. But then we could wonder if we should even care for his opinion for the Pastors' Conference. Kyle: That's true. Matt: I'm kind of worried, like what does this do to my cred? I mean- Kyle: He has no facial hair and he doesn't drink caffeine. He doesn't drink coffee. Matt: He's a Cardinals fan. He hates the DL. He hates coffee. He doesn't just not drink it, he hates it. Kyle: You mean the DH, the designated hitter. Matt: Yeah. He hates all of these things and he doesn't even not have a beard. He doesn't even have sideburns, man. So, you could not find a more opposite, like odd couple than Bart Barber and Matt Henslee. But I did, hey, I got to say I burned them back. As he said something about, I made the comment, I said, "Yeah, my cheating Astros or whatever." He said, "Hey, there's always room in the National League for another fan of the Cardinals." And then I just responded with "Mark Maguire." And then he said, "Fair. That's fair.' So. Kyle: Oh, goodness. Well, this is going to be a fun six months as we lead up to June, and I will give you time to a win me over as a supporter, to win my endorsement for your Pastors' Conference nominee. Kyle: Man. So no, let them be the first to say congratulations and this is a big deal. I'm excited for you. I'm excited, first of all, to have a normative sized pastor be nominated for this role, and I'm excited that it's you. And so, I think it's going to be a lot of fun to get to see this process unfold in the next few months. Matt: I appreciate it, brother. Kyle: Mr. Nominee, are there any closing thoughts that you have today? Matt: It's still snowing. Kyle: Oh, nice. Matt: Yeah. Kyle: It's still snowing in the desert, dude. I'm telling you, this is like a New Year's miracle. Matt: It is. Kyle: This is the way to kick off the 20s, right? Matt: Yes, it is. Kyle: With snow on the ground. Matt: The roaring 20s. Forget that, it's the snowing 20s, baby. Kyle: The snowing 20s. Matt: I think we can enter the ice age. Kyle: Hey, if that means that there is skiing that can happen often, I'm down with that. Matt: Yeah. Kyle: If it means there's not snow in the desert, but there is up on the mountain, and I can be up there in 30 minutes and on the slopes, I'm good with that. Matt: Yeah. Kyle: So. Matt: And I do need to remind you, Kyle, we don't pay the bills for this podcast. And so- Kyle: Oh, that's right. Matt: ... I need a moment to also think Southwestern, not just for their sponsorship of this podcast, but also for the way they have trained me at Southwestern, through my Mdiv, and now as I pursue my doctorate with them in expositional preaching that they've really helped me become the pastor that I am. People like Dr. Queen, we've talked about it before, Dr, Priest, all of these guys that are there, they truly are practitioners and they get it. And so, it's not this ivory tower of academics, but these are people that have been in churches and are in churches. I think of Dr. Darnell, probably one of the leading systematic theologians in the SBC, if not the leading systematic theologian, yet he's also preaching at a church and leading in that way. And so, to be a part of that seminary has been a joy and so we encourage you to check out SWBTW.edu after the show. And I don't know how- Kyle: And in your ... Oh, go ahead. Matt: I don't know how all of the ins and outs of the Pastors' Conference works, but if there's a way for this an official word of [inaudible 00:31:14] for the Pastors' Conference, I can also promise you it will be the CSB. Kyle: Hey, that's your first campaign promise, right there. Matt: It is. CSB bibles for all. No, I don't think I can say that. It would be awesome if the CSB wants to do that for us. But if John the Baptist used the Christian Standard Bible, if Jesus used the Christian Standard Bible, if the apostle Paul used the Christian Standard Bible, then for crying out loud guys, get a copy of the CSB, baby. Kyle: Let us remember, you are being nominated as the SBC Pastors' Conference president and you cannot spell SBC without CSB. Matt: Hey, well done. Kyle: There you go. Thank you. Matt: So, visit not SBCbible.com but Csbible.com after the show, and you can find the translation that Kyle and I both use in our devotionals and our sermons. My sermons are better, but still same Bible, same word. And we're grateful for both of them and the way they have helped us bring this to your ear holes. Matt: And so, until next time, visit us at Not Another Baptist podcast. Follow along on Facebook for more news as the Pastors' Conference, all the news so forth comes out for that and other encouragement that we'll put on Facebook or on Twitter at NAB_podcast. And since I still have not made coffee since my return and you are drinking coffee in your coffee mug, why don't you send us out, brother? Kyle: All right. Well, as I'm drinking in my "what's wrong with you people?" mug from RC Sproul, may your coffee be as black as night and as black as is mine. It's a sharp mug. And as bold as the gospel you declare. Matt: See ya in Orlando, baby. 

[alexander-slander]

Song fic chapter four part two (2)

A/N: This is mostly fluff forgetful boyfriends Jace hurt comfort of anything’s missing don’t be afraid to tell me!

“As much as I would like to let you guys kiss yourselves into oblivion. My plane takes off in an hour and I would like to finish the movie.”

We laughed at that and I un-paused the movie. There was only about twenty minutes left in the movie so we watched the end of it. Then we got ready to take Clary to the airport. Jace was supposed to take her but of course he lost track of time. So the three of us got in her car and drove to the airport.

Jace’s POV

I was at Alec’s talking about how I was going to propose to Clary. He went into the kitchen to make some coffee for the two of us. “Hey Jace when does Clary’s plane take off?” he called from the kitchen.

“Tomorrow at 4:30. Why?”

“Don’t you mean today at 4:30?” he asked coming back into the living room.

“No I’m pretty sure she leaves tomorrow. Here let me check my phone.” I grabbed my phone and pressed the home button. It didn’t turn on. I pressed it again and it still didn’t turn on.

“Darn it!!!” I said throwing my phone on the couch.

“What’s wrong?” Alec asked setting the coffee down.

“My phones dead. Can I use yours?” I asked

“Of course here.” I took his phone and opened up the calendar. I looked at what today was and realized I completely messed up. I sat back on the couch and put my face in my hands.

I shook my head and said, “She’s supposed to leave today at 4:30. I completely forgot I’m a horrible boyfriend.”

“Jace you’re not a horrible boyfriend.”

“You know I forgot our two year anniversary then I also forgot her birthday. Technically I didn’t forget I just got the days mixed up.”

“Maybe we can make it to the airport to see her off.”

“No Alec. We won’t be able to make it. Its 4:20 and her plane leaves at 4:30 we won’t make it in time. I would call her but she probably already turned her phone off.”

Alec sighed then sat down next to me. I shoot up from the couch and said, “I have an idea. How close is the nearest florist?”

“About two blocks away. Why?”

“I can’t explain stupid so I’m going to send a bouquet of bleeding hearts to her parents’ house before she gets there.”

“Well then what are we doing standing around here like a bunch of idiots. Let’s get you to that florist.”

Clary’s POV

I was sitting on the plane reading a book trying not to focus on the fact that Jace didn’t drop me off at the airport like he was supposed to. He also wasn’t answering his phone. I tried calling Alec but I lost the connection. I got to the airport said goodbye to Raphael and Simon then boarded the plane.

I decided to focus on my book instead of thinking of my idiotic boyfriend. The time on the plane flew by pretty fast. I’d finished the book then started to sketch in my sketch pad that I brought with me.

I arrived at the airport and got my luggage. I called a taxi after texting mom and dad telling them I would see them soon.

I got to their house and they walked out. I gave mom a big hug and dad got my luggage out of the taxi I paid the driver and hugged dad.

“I missed you guys so much. Why did you have to move so far away?” I asked laughing.

“We love you and the city but we’ve lived in the city long enough.” Dad said.

“Now what’s wrong?” Mom asked

“What do you mean? Nothing’s wrong.” I said not wanting to start my vacation off on a bad note.

“Clary we’ve known you long enough to tell when you’re hiding something. That and a bouquet of bleeding hearts showed up on our porch about an hour ago addressed to you.” Dad said as we walked into the house.

“Fine Jace forgot to take me to the airport and wasn’t answering his phone. Simon and Raphael took me to the airport.” I said sighing

“Oh honey I’m so sorry. However I think that they might be an apology. Alright we’ll let you get settled then you can tell us all about what’s been happening and how Simon was able to sit in the same car with Raphael without freaking out.” Mom said smirking.

“Alright I’ll go unpack and then I’ll come down and tell you what happened.” I said and carried the flowers up to my room. Dad went ahead and took my bags up to my room already.

“I’ll be down in an hour.”

“Okay.” They both said

I walked into my room and set the flowers down on my dresser. I went and opened my suitcase I hung up my shirts and put my shorts and undergarments away in the dresser. I was just about finished when I bumped into the dresser. I stopped the flower from falling and a note fell out. I picked it up and opened it.

It read:

Dear Clary,

I’m so sorry. I cannot explain stupid so I sent you a bouquet of bleeding hearts to show you how sorry I am. I know I messed up and I’m not sure how to make it up to you. I’ll try my best when you come home in two weeks. Also my phone died so I didn’t get your calls. Once again I’m very sorry I didn’t take you to the airport and I’m thankful that Simon and Raphael happened to be at the loft so they could take you. I cannot apologize enough for my stupid mistake. I’ll see you in two weeks when I pick you up at the airport.

Love your boyfriend, stupid is how I act…not how I feel about you!

Jace

I sat down on my bed reading his note. Then looked over to the flowers. I realized that tears of happiness started to fall and I wiped them away. I got up and finished unpacking I went down to the kitchen to see mom and dad.

“Clary are you okay?” Dad asked when he saw me.

“Yeah I’m fine I just read the note that Jace sent with the flowers.”

“Oh. What did it say?”

“He apologized and said that he can’t explain stupid so he sent the flowers and that he’ll make it up to me when he sees me at the airport in two weeks when he picks me up.”

“That’s nice.” Mom said looking at me.

“So how is everyone back in New York?” Dad asked sensing that I wanted to change the subject.

“Everyone’s great. We’re all glad schools out. Magnus broke up with Camille for good.”

“That’s what he always says.” Mom said

“Oh this is the real deal he spoke in song lyrics.”

“Wow that is amazing.” Dad said

“Not only did he break up with her but he did it in public while she was harassing Alec.”

“Oh wow so what’s the story on them?” Mom asked

“They haven’t officially said anything but I’m pretty sure they’re dating.”

“Well that’s good. So how did Simon survive a car ride with Raphael?”

“Oh now that happened about a month ago. With the help of Izzy, Magnus, Catarina, Jace, and I. We were able to get him to finally ask out Raphael. It was amazing I actually can’t believe it worked.”

“Wow how’d he do that?” Mom asked taking a sip of her coffee.

“Well Izzy handled the outfit for Simon and make up for Raphael because he got a black eye. Jace was on standby in case one of them decided not to show up. Catarina was on standby incase this went horribly wrong. Magnus got him a gig at pandemonium and I picked out his song.”

“Wow who orchestrated the whole thing?” Dad asked

“I did. That’s what happens when you date Jace Lightwood for five years.” I said smirking.

“I’m not sure if I’m happy about that underhanded influence he’s had on you.” Dad said in a playful tone. We all laughed and I helped them make dinner. We talked and ate then we all went to sleep with a smile on our faces.

[yourcertainstudentlight-blog]

17 soon. just wondering about car insurance?

"17 soon. just wondering about car insurance?

whether when i pass n get a car if il be able to pay insurance monthly? and does it cost more tht way (uk)

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://averageinsurancecost.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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I am 18 years old and I have had my license for just over a year with a clean record (no tickets, crash, etc.), I was wondering how much full coverage insurance would be on 2007-2009 Honda Civic Si coupe, the insurance will be under my father as primary and me as either secondary or occasional, my father has a clean 15 year driving record. How much will insurance be monthly?""

Great sports cars that don't have bad insurance?

Okay so I'm 16 and need a sports car. My budget is 40K and if been looking at used ones. I was thinking about a porshe but it seems there insurance and maintenance is outrages. I have also been looking at Mercedes Benz. They seem to be a bit better but not sure. anyone have a porshe or a Meredes??? I also live in Canada. Or any other ideas for a sports car.??.? :)

17 soon. just wondering about car insurance?

whether when i pass n get a car if il be able to pay insurance monthly? and does it cost more tht way (uk)

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/case-accident-where-someone-motorcycle-badly-hurt-liability-luther"

[lavieboheme930]

183

What is your name and how old are you? Christine.  34

Do you talk on the phone a lot? What kind of phone do you have? iPhone 7 and I usually text more

Is your house ever creepy? What does it do? My apartment isn’t creepy.

Who’s your favorite rapper? And your favorite song by this rapper? I don’t have one.

How about your favorite band? And your favorite song by this band? Beatles: Nowhere Man

Hanson: Weird

Did you do any drugs this past weekend? Which ones? No.

Are you hungry? Why don’t you eat something? I’m not hungry.

Do you have any cousins that you’re jealous of? Why? No

What year will you be/were you a senior in high school? I was in 2001

Have you ever broken up with someone and then regretted it later? Nope.

Has anyone ever made a promise to you that they’d change? Who? No

Do you have an online blog? What do you write about in there? Yes.  Poetry and Book reviews

Do you know anyone that has a multiple personality disorder? No

Have you read anything educational today? What was it? No

Do you watch more of the Discovery channel, or MTV? Or neither? Neither

Have you ever had the cops called on you? For what? No

Do you hate your last name? Do you want to get married so you can change it? I don’t hate it.

Did you wake up to an alarm clock this morning? What time? Yes.  9am

How old is your favorite teacher? N/A

What’s the background picture on your phone? Do you change it a lot? Me and Sal from June.  And nope.  Unless I get a new pic with Sal LOL

Would you rather be home alone, or have people with you? Why? Depends on my mood.

Do you live near a highway? Can you hear the traffic at night? It’s not too far away.  And nope

Have you ever dropped a class in school? Which class, and why did it suck? No

Are you a MAC or a PC? Chromebook

Has the snow melted away in your yard? Did it even snow in the first place? Yes.  But it wasn’t much

Have you ever taken someone back, who ended up just hurting you again? Sorta yes

Music is playing right now, isn’t it? What song? Yes.  Kryptonite -3 Doors Down

How many cell phones have you gone through in your life? No idea

Do you have a little sister? What’s her name? Nope.

Do you need spellcheck in order to spell things correctly? Not really

What was the last thing you printed? Is there even ink in your printer? I use the printer at the library.  It was a ticket for a friend’s show

Do you go to concerts? What was the last one you attended? Only to see my friend Con perform

Do you shop online? With your own credit card, or someone else’s? Sometimes.  My own

Who’s your best friend? How long have you known each other? Beki: 34 years.  Mo: 20 years  Erik: 4 years Ricky: 3 years

Who was your first boyfriend/girlfriend? Why did you break up? N/A

Have you ever gotten your nails done? Or do you get them done regularly? No

Have you been outside yet today? What were you doing? Yes.  Went to library and stores

Do you have or want any tattoos? Of what? I don’t like tattoos

Do you remember the first time you ever drove a car? Who were you with? Yes. My dad.

Do any of your friends drink excess amounts of alcohol? Do you? Nope

How many pairs of shoes do you have? Are they under your bed? 7.  Nope.  a shoe rack

What exactly is under your bed? Is it a mess? Nothing actually.

Have you ever been in handcuffs? Why, exactly? Nope.

Have you ever had to be put to sleep at a hospital? Why? No

Do you actually have a calendar on your wall? What are the pictures of? Yes.  Gerry Butler

When are you planning on moving out of your parents’ house? Whenever I can but its so expensive to live alone in NYC

Tell me about your day today. It started out not so good, but then got much better

Have you ever been on a cruise? How many? Where did they go? No

What was the last thing you purchased for yourself? ticket to comedy show

What was the last thing you purchased for someone else? ticket to that same comedy show lol

Do you have a favorite author? Yes

How about a favorite book? A lot

Do you have a significant other? No

Have you taken your Christmas tree down yet? we just put it up

When was the last time you took a shower? just now

Is any part of you sore right now? Nope

Do you have any clothes that are uncomfortable, but you wear them anyway? My new leggings LOL

How many people are currently in your home? 3

Is green your favorite color? No.

What kind of music do you mostly listen to? rock, pop

Have you ever fallen asleep laying on your boyfriend/girlfriend? N/A

What was the last vacation you went on? Foxwoods many years ago

When’s the next time you’re going on vacation? Maybe next Sept. I hope

How tall are you? 5′0″

Do you drink coffee? I practically live on coffee LOL