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nevillegoddardsblog · 3 years

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EVERYTHING ON THE VOID STATE

evilsaints-diary : OMG IK YOU'LL BE ANNOYED TO ME BUT CAN YOU EXPLAIN THE VOID MORE? IM SO SORRY I REALLY STILL DON GET IT , WHAT IT IS, WHAT IT FEELS LIKE, AND HOW TO, IM VVV SORRY YOU CAN IGNORE THIS I UNDERSTAND HEHE.

@nevillegoddardsdaddy: hey im so sorry babe but I haven't gone into the void yet either. Buuuuuut here's all the info on the void state.

(1) divineangelbee

(2) cinefairy

(3) 222barbie

(4) nakedbibi333

(5) @divineangelbee anon:

Hey Angel, how are you!

I have some Void advice for all you babes wanting to get in.

1. Go back to the basics

I feel like this needs to be heard because I know you and others have gotten a lot of ask over complicating the void state when it really is simple, for me what I did was forget about all the ask I sawed over complicating the method and went back to the basics of how to get in whether you’re doing it during the day or through sleep. Doing that I actually got very close to entering.

2. Assume it’s easy

It is called the Law of Assumption for a reason, it’s all about you and your assumptions. Assuming getting into the void state is an easy and effortless process is probably one of the key ways to getting there, at least in my opinion. If you assume it’s hard to get into the void state, it’s going to be hard, or if you decide to assume it’s an easy process it will be. Going behind the whole method it’s the same process, it’s all about your assumptions, assume you will get in and you will. What made me realize this was just realizing I was the only reason I wasn’t getting into the void state.

3. Don’t depend on it

I’m not saying you should stop trying just don’t depend on it, it’s makes it easier for you too. Realize that you’re the reason this method would work for you or not, know you are above the void state and it’s not above you

I know you all are more than capable of entering the void state so don’t beat yourself up if don’t. You all are so powerful so take charge and get your desires, I hope this was helpful!

(6) @divineangelbee 's anon: hello!! do you maybe think you can go over how to get into the void state in a little more detail? only if you’d like

1. get into a comfortable position. you can move around and stuff, but get really comfy.

2. if you have trouble getting settled mentally, count to 0-100 with a deep breath in between each number. (this optional, you don’t have to do this) try to get as relaxed as possible and focusing on you breathing.

3. now that you’re extremely relaxed, start to affirm “i am god” “i am in the void” “i am faceless and formless” “i am pure consciouness” etc until you drift asleep. if you get distracted, keep affirming. don’t stop.

4. then you’ll wake up there. great. you’re there! now affirm/set an intention or visualise.

(7) @divineangelbee anon:

HEYYY YALLL ITS ME(void girl)!!

basically i got into my bed, found a comfy position and started focusing on my breathing and after being relaxed and kinda drowsy, i started affirming. i only used “i’m pure consciousness” (cause i couldn’t remember the other ones lmao) and i started feeling lighter, and more floaty. and at some point i couldn’t even feel my body. i couldn’t feel my bed i was laying on, the pillows or the blanket. i couldn’t even feel the fan that was blowing at the highest level. NOTHING. it was pitch black. i started visualizing my desires (mainly my df and db). i’ve never visualized so vividly in my life. after visualizing, i set the intention to come back with all my desires (and ofc bc ur sub mind is goddamn powerful, it already knew what desires and what not). i woke up from the void state and immediately went to sleep. i woke up this morning, and notice my body and face is completely different, i got an email from my bank saying a transaction was made into my account. y’all i was so excited!! i’m currently packing for california as we speak. y’all try it. the void method is so damn powerful, and it feels great. PS!! i did get itchy but use that power ik you have in you, and ignore it

(8) by @divineangelbee :

“lullaby method/iam state”

1. comfortable position

2. do not move.

3. affirm.

4. by affirming, YOU ENTER THE VOID STATE. as in, you will suddenly appear in a pitch black void. it’s not when you’re just feeling floaty or light. getting that floaty feeling is an indication ur doing it right, not the state itself.

5. affirm/visualise then come back

(9) motivation for void state:

@divineangelbee 's anon: I’m trying the void state tonight. I know the procedure but please hype me up baby. Tell me it’s easy 🥺❤️

IT IS SOOO EASY. so fucking easy. it’s so easy that i literally got it on my FIRST try. and so can u, my love.like guys STOP OVER COMPLICATING it like all u have to do is stay still affirm and BOOM ur there. THATS IT. u just stay still and affirm. literally!!!!plus the void state is literally SO WORTH IT. it is! u manifest INSTANTLY THERE. no doubts, no waiting, no intrusive thoughts, no persisting. just state what u want and BOOM u have it; its literally the most advanced way of manifesting like legit ur god FR. its kind of a, “let there be light” kind of thing.honey u deserve each and everyone one of ur desires!! the void state will give all that shit instantly!!like i PROMISEEEE u,, YOU WONT REGRET IT. get that desire body, that money, that partner, that job, that house, LIKE EVERYTHING U WANT U DESERVE IT!!!like honestly the void state is actually amazing. neville daddy goddard deserves to get his ASS ate for it!! like UGH hes so amazin i love him sm.but anyways YOU ARE GOING TO GET THERE TONIGHT. follow my steps EXACTLY and you’ll get there!!! i promise baby

(10) @222barbie 's anon:

Hi, I'm the anon who went to the void during the day!

Yes, I got excellent results! I'm going to explain quickly what I do there:

- I sit confortable and cover my eyes so the light doesn't bother me. Then I do my breath work, if you have a method just use it, all of them work.

- Then I just command my subconscious mind by saying "I am pure consciousness, I am going to the void now". Until I start to feel all dizzy some how and kinda like floating

- When in the void I just start saying affirmations for whatever I want. Or just visualize what I am creating. Ask for whatever you want and you'll get it!

The first time I went there I got my results in less than 24hrs and the rest of them came in less than a week.

- manifested my desire appearance; bigger eyes, clear skin, smaller waist

- a job for my friend and myself

- a lot of random things I was wishing for myself

- basically whatever I say or think immediately happens

Hope this helps! Manifesting through the void is like using cheat codes in life, everything comes so so sooooo easily after it. Just don't give up and believe in you. ❤

(11) @cinefairy 's anon:

THIS IS A VOID ADVICE NOT QUESTION

As a person who’s almost gotten into the void many times i noticed what i did wrong & wanted to give advice.

DONT Depended on it. I know the void is like a 100% guarantee however there’s other methods like commanding your subconscious, subliminals, scripting, affirming etc. Don’t depend on the void please, there’s other ways to get to it. I usually do the void method for fun like sometimes i’m like “mhm, i should try doing the void method 🧐” & end up doing it.

TAKE A BREAK. When you don’t succeed don’t try it again over & over & over straight. Take a break, walk around, stretch, drink water. Please don’t do the mistake i did. I literally fainted because i didn’t take a break & was doing it for 14 hours straight (i know… don’t judge me, i didn’t know better but now i do). It kind of gets addicting cause you’re like “I WAS ALMOST THERE, ONE MORE TRY” & it’s just. a cycle. You’ll get there, no need to rush.

Don’t focus on the time it’s taking you. Everyone is different. People get in the void in 3 minutes, others take 20 minutes. The more you focus on the time the more time it’ll take for you to get there. Don’t be like “ugh i’ve been doing this for ____ it’s not working”. It’s not a race. Take your time, it’s so worth it. It’s tempting to compare other peoples time but everyone is different. My mind races a lot so it makes sense as to why it takes longer. Be patient. But you can also get into it in 3 minutes if you’re mind races like i do. It all of you.

Do it when you’re relaxed & comfortable. It’s the n.1 rule but yet people get it wrong. Be comfortable mentally & physically. Please don’t do the void method when you don’t feel rushed, or pressured. For example, i was doing the void method before school right? Was i close? extremely? Did i go in? No. Why? Because i was mentally stressed. I was like “omg i NEED to get into the void before school or else ____”. Do it at a time where you’re most comfortable. Tonight i will try it again before i go to sleep because i’m more relaxed. Do anything that makes you relaxed. People have gotten into the void sitting, laying isn’t the only option. Do what makes YOU comfortable. As long as you concentrate & don’t move.

Don’t be discouraged. Please don’t be too hard on yourself when you don’t succeed. I know seeing other people getting it into their first try masks you feel a bit anxious but remember that everyone struggled once. If you can’t do it, that’s completely fine! There’s other methods. Remember that you can do it. We all believe in you.

The answer is within you. A lot of people will ask repeated questions that have already been answered. Look at angel’s blog & see what you did wrong. Don’t over complicated it guys. Ill answer the questions that are most answered.

Answering the most common questions

Q: I went into the void method & i didn’t get my desire. What did i do wrong?

A: You didn’t enter the void. The void state is 100%. You will get your desire no matter what. If you “went” to the void & you didn’t get your results it’s because tou never went.

Q: I keep on getting sidetracked/can’t concentrate on the affirming, how can i avoid that?

A: You have 4 options.

You can go into the void staring at something to concentrate.

Meditate before.

Doing the void method at a time where you’re drowsy, relaxed or concentrated. Most people have succeeded the void method before going to sleep because you’re kind of not aware of what’s around you because you’re going to sleep.

Command your subconscious + set the intention. You can say “subconscious, get me to the void method” & focus on the breathing. Or doing it & telling yourself “i’m going into the void” & then focusing on the breathing.

Q: My body always twitch whenever i try to go into the void method. How do i avoid that?

A: Your body does that because it chevecier when you’re awake. It’s normal. Just don’t react to it, let it twitch. You didn’t move voluntarily so it’s fine.

Q: I don’t feel any symptoms of tingling, or twitching, did i do something wrong?

A: Everyone is different. The only symptoms i’ve had are floating & twitching. Some people don’t feel the twitching. It’s like subliminals. Just because you don’t feel tingling, doesn’t mean it doesn’t work.

Q: Whenever i feel floaty, my leg keeps on moving up. How do i avoid that?

A: For me, i put something under my leg so that it feels automatically up so that it doesn’t have the urge to move.

Q: I tried the void method & it didn’t work, what did i do wrong?

A: Well i’m not there to tell you but this is the BASE thing everyone needs to remember.

1. Get into a comfortable position

2. Relax & affirm “i’m in the void state” (or anything related to the void.

3. Don’t move. Keep affirming & ignore. Even if your body twitchs.

4. Boom you’re there.

It’s really simple. I’m 100% gonna go to the void state tonight, i just wanted to share the knowledge with the same problem.

Remember that all of you guys are capable of doing it. ALL. Just depends on your preference. Good luck <3

(12) goddardism

(13) demonindior 🌸 🌸

(14) arabella

#law of assumption #neville goddard #self concept #success story #manifestyourlife #desired self #manifestation

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hinasakuino · 2 years

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Boyfriend Material

Ft. J. Kirstein, A.Arlet, L. Ackerman, E.Yeager, R.Braun, E. Smith

Lemme just preface this by saying I am so excited to start dabbling in other fandoms + writing. I have a silly demon slayer au I’m writing plus Levi 100 followers celebratory fic! So without further ado, enjoy! (Sfw & nsfw h/c about my fave boys! Modern au btw!) ((pps it’s kinda long bare w/me pls))

Jean Kirstein

(sfw)

Jean would be the guy you see every day on your way to class always sitting alone either reading by himself or people watching or on the rare occasion he had a friend with him.

He’s clueless about you changing your course to class just to have a chance to speak with him but he does think it’s odd when you keep asking him questions, he can see your college ID you’ve been going to the school for three years now and all your classes were near each other, how did you keep forgetting your way to class?

He finally understands you’re trying to get his attention when he spots you and some friends hanging out in the cafeteria. Your friends teased you while you blushed. He decided the courtyard was too hot today and was seeking the crisp chill provided by the air conditioners. He didn’t mean to eavesdrop but he thought it was funny you went through all the trouble just to impress him. He thinks it was sweet.

Will now attempt casual conversation, but discovers he’s just as awkward as you were.

Finally got the courage to ask you out after witnessing you interacting with a classmate, he thought you were pretty before but you were especially stunning when sporting such a beautiful smile.

Decides on the classic dinner and movie idea but takes you to see the movie first so that y’all can have something to discuss while you eat.

Thinks you’ll pick the romcom is shocked when you choose the classic slasher remake movie, side-eyes you nearly the entire movie for being completely enamored with the movie.

Dinner is interesting he learns you’re majoring in film and arts, feels extra confident after coming up with the

Movie date idea.

(nsfw)

Tries to leave you with just one kiss but the way you cling to him makes him painfully hard and he debates on leaving because he doesn't want to pressure you into something you’re not comfortable doing

But the way you lick the shell of his ear and grind with his front, he’s pinning you against the wall, nipping at your neck, making you mewl loudly against his ear and he can’t wait to elicit more noises from you.

Thank the lord you have a private dorm to yourself because he’s taking your top off the minute you’re pushed into the living room. It doesn't take him long to take your skirt off, there you lay clad in a mauve lingerie set, you try your best to come across as sexy and not shy.

“Fuck you’re so sexy.” He whispers, he’s on his knees in an instant, kissing across your thighs, and he can hear your breath hitching the closer he gets to your glistening cunt.

“Please” You moan out, and how can he deny you when you asked so nicely?

Is a tease, will take his time when going down on you, always pressing soft kisses and licks to your center until you’re whimpering and begging for release.

This man loves pleasing you. He really likes to hear you moan his name, the soft pants and whimpers make him harder than ever.

By the time he’s ready to slip past your wet walls, he’s nearly there.

You’re so tight, your walls conform around him, and it doesn’t take him long to cum deep inside your cunt.

Apologizes when he realized he didn’t pull out, he was too pussy drunk, riding out that high.

Doesn’t leave right after because you look absolutely fucked out and adorable as you try to stay up listening to his rambling.

He’s hooked and not ashamed to say so.

Armin Arlet

(Sfw)

vvv self indulgent I love him!

He’s so sweet, bless his heart!

You’ve known him since primary school, you hadn’t actually talked to him until he approached you at a kickback.

It was completely unexpected because you always knew him to be shy but here he was standing across from you making you laugh and you’re pleasantly surprised when you realize you have so much in common.

You give him your number in hopes of hanging out with him more but it’s silent for the first two days.

Truthfully Armin is still shocked that someone as pretty as you even gave him the time of day. It’s what he tells you when he calls four days later in the middle of the night drunk.

You entertain his drunk conversation and he eventually persuades you to go out with him the next day.

You’re nervous and excited because you’re going to bike to your picnic area, and he seemed very passionate about biking.

You try to dress as comfortably as possible, biker shorts and a matching sports bra with a jacket to cover up just in case.

Armin loses his mind when he sees you, all your curves on display have him just a teeny bit pent up, he was ready for the bike ride to release this feeling.

Except it never went away because you ended up riding in front of him and he couldn't help sneaking glances at your pert round bottom.

He had to pretend to crash twice to avoid popping a boner.

When you finally arrived at the area, it's beautiful in the middle of a flower field. A blanket was placed next to the pond for relaxation there was an actual table with the food spread on top covered by silver covers.

“Armin!” You exclaim in surprise. You smile back to him sweetly, his heart skips a beat, without thinking he pulls his phone out and snaps a picture.

“You looked cute!” He defends, face turning pink. You smile but lead the way to the table, he rushes over and pulls the chair out making you giggle, he was trying to be a gentleman...

The date goes smoothly, Armin is glad things were working out and he really enjoyed himself.

He steals glances at you during the drive home, and when he’s parked in your apartment complex he stumbles over his words as he tries to ask for another date.

He’s so damn you, you lean over the console and lift his chin to face you. You lean in close and press a sweet kiss to his lips, you don’t miss his hesitation like he wants to kiss you more but doesn’t want to overdo it.

“I’d love to go out with you again Armin.” You whisper looking from his lips to his eyes while biting your bottom lip. You’re going to be the death of him, he swears.

“I’ll call you.” He says when you step out. He waits for you to step into your apartment and shut the door before he pulls off.

You slide down the door, your heart is racing and you’re happy as hell because for the first time in a while you actually enjoyed yourself.

(nsfw)

Armin reminisces about the early stages of your relationship, he tries to wonder if you’ve always been a tease? He thinks of the first date, that outfit you wore, and confirms you have.

Like now, while the both of you attended Eren’s birthday party, you constantly brush against him in such sinful ways he wants to take you away to one of the rooms but he endures it because he secretly likes it.

The minute you step foot into his apartment, he has you against the wall, pressing needy kisses into your neck.

“What brought this on?” You gasp out in between kisses. He doesn’t respond immediately, just continues to bully your lips, biting and suckling until you dart your tongue out, seeking his taste.

He swallows your moans, and his hands start roaming your body, he stops at your breast, he knows you’re not wearing a bra and he wastes no time attacking your sensitive buds.

He loves making you come undone this way, he loves that he has you whimpering and moaning in his hands he still can’t believe you get like this because of him. It turns him on so fucking much.

But because you’re you, you always try to take control, your hands grip the hairs at the nape of his neck, pulling him away from the kiss. He groans out a noise deep in his throat and the noise is heaven to your ears because he sounds absolutely wrecked.

“Y/n…” He pants out in irritation. You smirk and lean forward pressing a kiss to his neck. He turns his head to the side and lets you leave a trail of lovebites of your own. He goes absolutely insane when you mark him.

“Arminnn….” You drag out his name in a mocking tone and he groans in frustration.

He’s not in the mood for your teasing so he pulls away from you, making you whine but he ignores you, he sits on the sofa, unbuttoning his shirt, he decides it’s his turn to tease you.

You sit on the opposite sofa and watch as your boyfriend teases you. He takes his shirt off and runs his hands up and down his bare chest. He keeps eye contact when he reaches his pants, one hand unzipping while he pulls his dick out with the other.

“Arminnn…” You whine his name and sit forward. He smirks and licks a wet stipe on his hand before starting a slow rhythm, he squeezes the tip of his dick and grunts because he’s so sensitive there.

“Fuck look at you, squirming and I haven’t even touched you.” He chuckles throatily and throws his head back picking up the pace. He grabs himself at the base and has to hold himself because he’s embarrassingly close.

“ ‘Min.” You whine, he peeks at you and you get up, sinking to your knees in front of him. He takes a deep breath because he’s not expecting you to engulf him in your mouth. He rarely asks for head, mostly because he does the giving.

“Oh fuck!” He moans aloud, his eyes roll to the back, your mouth is so warm and wet it’s heaven on earth.

You get to work, swallowing him down, taking him mostly before gagging. He tangles his hand in your hair and makes a fist, pulling you off his cock, before dragging you back down making you gag.

“ ‘m sorry..” He mutters then cants his hips upward to fuck your mouth, he doesn’t have the patience to hold back, not when you’re deep-throating him like this, moaning around his cock.

He’s nice, he pulls back when he’s about to cum, the thought of you swallowing all his cum is too dirty for him to imagine so he releases it on your chest.

He doesn’t forget about you, he sinks to the ground with you, he’s so desperate to taste you.

“Pull this off.” He groans yanking at the zipper to your shorts. You do as you're told, anticipation washing over you at your boyfriend’s eagerness.

He doesn’t even let you fully relax before he’s going down on you, you haven’t even removed your shorts or panties, but that doesn’t stop him from pushing them to the side, delving into your silky walls.

He wants you to cum, he doesn’t beat around the bush, he’s got his fingers rubbing your clit urgently, while he fucks his tongue into you. You grip his blonde locks trying to prepare yourself for this orgasm.

“Mmmm Armin, please…” You whine, your hips moving in sync with his movements involuntarily, He doesn’t let up and soon you’re curling in on yourself, locking Armin’s head in place as you come undone.

Will clean you up and bring you to bed for cuddles because he literally just wants to mold your body to his.

Levi Ackerman

(sfw)

This man straight up ignores you when you first meet. He’s here to do a job and that’s it.

You don’t let up after this. If anything you want to get this man to smile at least once.

You once joke to your coworkers that he’s actually an AI bot sent to the office to replace all humans in the work area.

He hears the joke, and despite himself quirks a corner of his lip up.

“His face moved!” You shout from across the office, he drinks from his mug and turns to sit back at his cubicle. Like he said from the start, he’s here to work.

Things take a turn when Erwin puts his name in the secret santa-esque Valentine's day drawing. He chokes on his coffee when he hears his name being called, and then yours soon after.

Two tickets for Top golf and wine tasting are presented before you both. Before Levi even has a chance to decide which is the better option he sees you snatching the top golf tickets and laughing like a maniac.

“You’re going down Ackerman!” You point across him, everyone has eyes on him and he can’t help but shake his head at your ridiculousness.

He debates on going to the date, but he’s surprised when you call him two hours before the scheduled meeting time.

“You better not stand me up. If you do I’ll tell everyone in the office and then they’ll hate you because how could you stand up someone so sweet?” You taunt. He laughs but assures you that he will in fact be there.

And he is fifteen minutes early actually.

He doesn’t show but he’s nervous. It’s why he orders a drink and waits for you to arrive.

He begins to panic when five minutes pass and you don’t show up. Let another ten minutes go by before he’s texting and then calling your phone.

“Where are you?” He asks you can hear the frown in his voice, you thank your driver and exit the car. “I’m outside, I’m so sorry, My ride got canceled three times.” You say as you run into the building. It’s cold out, your outfit still doesn’t stop the coldness from seeping in.

“Are you in the front?” He asks, you can hear and echo so he has to be close by. You turn and run right into him.

“Oh, shi-” You groan and jump back apologizing once you see a little of your makeup has smeared on his sleeve. He waves you off and offers a friendly hug making you drop your jaw in shock.

“Come one, I set up over here.” He leads you to the back, where his jacket is draped across a seat. He moves it and helps you up the stool.

“Do you want a drink?” He asks and you shake your head yes, and settle on water.

Levi isn’t the best at golf. But you’re just as bad. He makes it a competition, for every target either of you hit, you can ask a question and the other person has to answer.

By the end of the game, you know more about Levi than you ever would’ve thought. He surprises you when he pays for your food and drinks, and again when he offers to bring you home.

You’re so excited to go to work you decide to do a vigorous skincare routine & even lay your clothes out for the next day.

When you make it to work though, Levi is the same old Levi, ignoring your antics and barely cracking a smile. It kind of pisses you off.

(Nsfw)

Things change between the two of you. You no longer look to include him in the office shenanigans, and when others ask about the date, you shut down, shrugging and coming up with an excuse that things just didn't work out.

Levi hears this gossip and feels like shit. He tries to catch you alone multiple times but you almost always have someone with you or find quick excuses to exit the conversation.

He gives up after a week of you dodging him. Thinks it’s pointless that he’s basically chasing you. He’s kinda pissed.

Things change when Erwin announces the employees attending the quarterly conference. Of course, he calls you, of course, Levi’s name is called right after the murmurs star, and he looks to find your eyes, you’re staring at him already and he looks away quickly because he doesn’t think he can face you. Even if it’s been a month.

You surprise him more when you sit next to him on the charter bus the company rents. “Don’t get your hopes up, it was this seat or the ones next to the toilets .” You say, slipping the sleep mask on your eyes.

You fall asleep the minute the bus moves because he feels your head dip and then you’re resting it on his shoulder snoring softly.

The problem starts when you’re an hour into the journey, still asleep, softly moaning his name. As if he didn’t have enough on his plate. He adjusted himself in his pants, he wasn’t going to get hard to this.

He failed, especially when you rub against him, he has to shake you awake to avoid a complete boner. You groan and lift your head groggily. You fuss at him, he grumbles that your snoring kept him up. You roll your eyes and bundle up in the seat facing away from him. He’s tripping if he thinks you’re moving, you mutter, he’s just going to have to deal with the snoring!

Avoids you the minute you stop at the hotel. You ignore the pain in your chest and gather your bags. Erwin stops you asking for Levi but you shrug, you just wanted to go back to sleep.

The conference is boring. There’s no other way to put it. Day one was a mixer, you tried to talk to people from the other companies but they weren’t fun. You made a drinking game so by the time Levi stopped by the mixer you’re sitting alone at the bar tipsy as hell.

“Shouldn’t you be mingling and interacting with other companies?” He asks in your ear. You jump and look back, he looks so damn good in that suit. You drag your eyes up slowly, making sure to bite your lip when you meet his.

“Aren’t you supposed to be ignoring me?” You retort, sipping the drink the bartender places in front of you.

He doesn’t answer but he slides into the space next to you and leans back looking at the guest around them.

“For the record, I wasn’t trying to ignore you. We just wouldn’t work out.” He comments. You freeze and look at him frowning but he doesn’t meet your gaze.

“Of course, the only hot guy in the office has commitment issues. Why did I have to like him? Everyone is like ‘Oh Erwin is so nice and strong and hot” but I had to jump on the fucking cold brooding Levi Train. Fuck me.” She mutters.

He looks at you then. You look sad, pouting as you dipped your drink. Without thinking Levi reaches out, grabbing your face and pulling you into a kiss.

It catches you off guard but you react quickly, your lips melting against his surprisingly soft ones.

“We can take this up to my room.” He groans against your lips. You nod your head frantically and that’s all he needs then he’s pulling you off the stool and towards the elevator.

You try to touch him in the elevator but he makes you stand still by your side in case you run into anyone from the company. You whine the entire time. He swats your ass, a sharp sting that gets you quiet, frowning and pouting up at him.

He makes you wait when you get in his room as well. You’re about to complain but he comes back shirtless and with a bottle of water.

“Drink.” He demands, you pout but does as he says. When you’ve got a little bit to the halfway mark he takes it away and places it on the bedside table.

He aids in taking your pantsuit off, he’s shocked at your lack of bra, but he can’t take his eyes off the way your ass cheeks sucks in the thong you’re wearing.

“Levi…” You whine, he scolds you and takes his time peeling the tiny fabric down the length of your legs.

“Do you know how hard it’s been to ignore you?” He mumbles when he kisses the inside of your thigh.

“The fact that you’ve been dreaming of me too. Fuck y/n.” He practically growls. You lean into his touch, he’s massaging the globes of your ass, he pushes you forward and you lay on the bed, arching your ass in the air for him.

“Levi, I want you so bad.” He nods eagerly and doesn't waste any time kissing down your slit. He licks into your walls skillfully, easing a finger in eliciting the sweetest drawn-out moan from you.

“Mmmm Fuck.” You groan, your hands grip the blankets below you. He’s everywhere on you and you can’t escape it.

“You’re so tight, you can barely take my finger, how can you take my cock?” He teases. You whine but push your ass back to him. He smacks you hard on your left cheek making you gasp.

“You’re such a tease.” You start to fuss but he’s back to suckling on your puffy clit and it drives you crazy. You buck your hips and bite down on the sheets. You feel like you’re going to explode.

“Give it to me.” He says, a simple sentence but the raspiness in his voice makes you come undone, he groans when you gush your wetness for him, you’re completely unaware of the fact that he’s been jerking himself and he cums with a silent gasp, panting out your name and curse words before collapsing on the end next to you.

The next morning he doesn’t give you the silent treatment, he helps you pack your things and puts them on the bus for you, no one says anything when you two sit at the back cuddled up and whispering to each other.

A/n: pt2 coming soon, this was 3.6k+ words of self indulgent drabble that I think fits each boy, pt 2 coming soon, I basically split this post in half, and hadn’t finished editing the rest another thing to note, I still don’t know how to format my post ^-^ 🥴 anywho thanks for reading and remember, requests are open! <33

BFM 2

#attack on titan #jean kirstein #jean kirstein x reader #jean kirstein imagine #jean kirstein x y/n #jean kirstein x you #armin arlet #armin arlet x reader #armin arlet imagines #armin arlet x y/n #armin arlet x you #levi ackerman #Levi Ackerman x reader #levi ackerman imagine #Levi Ackerman x y/n #Levi Ackerman x you

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thesolferino · 4 years

Text

senior high school bf!dream headcanons

⤷ note: literally woke up this morning and couldn’t get it out of my head so i wrote this whole thing at like 8 am while having coffee instead of writing my actual requests. hope you enjoy!

mister “quarterback on the school’s football team-wide shoulders-super tall-pretty smile-letterman jacket” dream

your high school jock bf dream (no pun intended)

your high school was never that cliquey in the first place, but clay was definitely popular and well known by the whole school

he mostly hung out with nick (who everybody grew to call sapnap) and george who were, as opposed to him, kind of shit at sports, but geniuses in literally everything else

he never dated one of the cheerleaders despite them obviously hitting on him (who could blame them?) - he simply wasn’t interested. ppl couldn’t believe it, especially him being a senior and never having dated anyone from the school

the person he DID, however, end up dating, was you - a girl he had to tutor in english ‘cause you were so bad at it that you were absolutely going to fail

he wasn’t all that excited about it, assuming you wouldn’t want to cooperate, until he saw how pretty you were when you approached him to figure out when you guys were gonna meet up

and once he figured out you were actually quite good at english, just didn’t have the attention span for writing long essays, he liked you even more

during your shared chemistry class, for a moment he turned around to look at you, and you smiled at him from your place at the other end of the classroom

sapnap and george caught that. they did not let it go for approximately the rest of eternity

they actually let it go after a few weeks when they saw the two of you leaving the school together, hands interlocked

my GOD he would be a sucker for you wearing his clothes - ESPECIALLY HIS LETTERMAN

he’d take it off in school just to give it to you so you can walk around in his jacket and show off that you’re his

lots of stares since, like, that’s CLAY’s jacket!!!

he also gets jealous/protective so easily

one of the dudes in your class tells you you’re pretty? arm around your waist immediately

someone who’s into clay DARES to make fun of you? he’ll embarrass them in front of the whole class. no mercy!

he thinks you’re like the coolest person alive. he’ll just sit and listen to you ramble about things you love forever

you’d come to football practice with him when you had time (and even when you didn’t, because he’d beg you to come watch him) and cheered him on every time he seemed vaguely happy with his results since you had 0 knowledge of the game

be prepared for a lot of smelly and sweaty hugs

nothing he loves more than picking you up and spinning you around after they win a game

and hugging you very very very very very tight

“baby, let me go, you smell!” “what? i can’t hear you.” “i said you smell! let me go!” “wait, i need to bring you closer, i can’t hear what you’re saying.” “NO!!!!!”

also late night talks about your future and what he wants to do when he’s finally out

not sure if he wants to use his intellectual skills and learn coding or put his love for writing to use or keep doing football

you teasing him saying he’s like troy from high school musical

him wheezing loudly and claiming you’re gabriella

cue half an hour of discussing high school musical

going back to that “clay after they win a game” point,,,,,

nsfw under the cut! if you are a minor or uncomfortable with such topics, please stop reading here!

⤷ note: the characters in this story are high school seniors, which means they are 18-19 years old!

he’d have SO much adrenaline and energy that just needs to go somewhere

istg the stamina that man has is crazy

if the guys stick around in the locker room he’ll just usher you to one of the bathrooms and fuck you there

he does not give a single fuck if a teacher walks in; it’s their damn problem!

and if everyone gets changed quickly and leaves for an afterparty you bet you’re getting railed on one of those benches

“come on, baby, get on your hands and knees for me.”

he’s definitely one for overstimulating so he’ll just fuck you through your orgasm, fingers still on your clit and everything to the point you have to push them away

feel like he would be really good at aftercare so after he fills you up he’ll pick you up and sit you down on the bench, get some tissues and whatnot

“you okay?” “does it hurt?” “d’you want me to carry you?” “i didn’t hurt you too much, did i?”

and when they lose the game

whoooOooooo boy

you’re getting railed into next fucking week with all the force he has in his body

he’s going full degradation mode + spanking bc fucking you is just not getting that energy out by itself

“look at how you clench around me, whore. my little whore, aren’t you?

“i told you not to hold back. keep doing that and i’ll fuck you in the damn cafeteria so you’ll be sure everyone knows who you belong to.”

his ego is just wayyyyy too big to not have you screaming every time

tease him and he will have you spread out, begging and pleading. literally no question about it

“aw, you thought that was funny, didn’t you? not so funny now, is it, princess?”

he’ll edge you for literal hours until you apologise. don’t underestimate him! he has his goals set and will do whatever it takes to get to them

that’s what makes him so successful, i suppose

i just feel like he would be a vvv sweet boyfriend 🥺

(would defo convince you to go to a college that’s close to his but that’s a story for a different time)

football player dream supremacy, me thinks!

#dream x reader #dreamwastaken x reader #dream imagines #dreamwastaken imagine #dream fluff #dream angst #dream smut #dream fanfic #mcyt x reader #mcyt imagine #mcyt fanfic #dreamwastaken smut

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farfromsugafanfic · 4 years

Text

Lock & Key

Genre: Best Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Angst

Pairing: Jungkook/Reader

Warnings: cursing, dirty jokes

Synopsis: When Jungkook ditches you on your birthday, your friendship looks like it’s about to crumble. Your friend group becomes tired of your bickering and decides to take the matter into their own hands. Somehow, you and Jungkook find yourselves handcuffed together.

"Have you guys found a present for Y/N yet?" Jin asked, picking up his third pizza slice and taking a large bite, the cheese stretching as he pulled it away from his lips.

"You haven't gotten it yet? Her birthday dinner is tomorrow," Taehyung said. His eyes were tired, but he'd still insisted on joining the party despite having just gotten off a long train ride, as he hadn't seen his friends from high school for months. "I got her the first two manga in that series she's been wanting to read."

"Mmm," Jin said, seeming to consider Taehyung's choice of gift. "I need mine to be really special. He finished his pizza to the crust and turned it 180 degrees and bit into the end. "Jungkook, you're closest to Y/N. What are you getting her?"

Jungkook turned, wide-eyed towards Jin. The younger's face was already a bit flushed from the beers and from the mention of your name. "I'm paying for her part of the meal tomorrow and I got her tickets to that musical that's only in town for one night."

"Woah, that's gonna be hard to beat," Jimin said, "Y/N hasn't stopped talking about that musical since they announced it. Remember how she went crazy over it in the group chat?"

"I'm sure Y/N will like whatever you get her," Jungkook said. "She isn't very picky and she'll appreciate it because it came from you."

"I know. I just have something special planned and I want it to be perfect." The six other guys looked to the eldest expectantly. Jin sighed. "Gosh, fine, I'll tell you. I plan on confessing to her tomorrow."

"What? You like Y/N?! Since when?"

"Woah, congrats man!"

"You'll make such a cute couple."

The group fell to chaos, but Jungkook was notably the least excited. At the mention of Jin's plans, he sunk back against the wall and took a large bite of his pizza, followed by a gulp of beer.

"I'm not sure when I started liking her," Jin said. "I just kind of realized that I do. I figured we are friends and I'll regret it if I don't give it a shot."

"Are you sure her birthday is the best time to confess?" Jungkook asked, finally piping up. "What if things don't go well and you ruin it? Are you going to do it in front of everyone?"

"I thought about it and I'm going to wait until after the meal. Maybe I'll be able to steal her away for a few moments after she opens our gifts."

Jungkook's nose wrinkled and he was obviously unsatisfied with the answer. Yet, he dropped it and reached for another slice of pizza. "Why does it matter to you Jungkook? It's not like we all still won't hang out or that you'll never see her."

"Y/N's been hurt before. I'm sure you remember how upset she was after Minsung. I had to sleep in her bed for two weeks because she'd wake up crying. I never want her to feel that hurt again."

"Jungkook, I won't hurt her. She's more likely to hurt me. Why do you care so much about her heart being broken anyway? You're not the one who broke it and you aren't responsible for fixing it. Y/N's a big girl, she can handle herself."

Jungkook pouted. "I have to pee," he said, standing up and leaving the room, carrying his pizza slice with him.

vVv

An array of appetizers were spread across the table, a few bites taken from each. You were just waiting on the last three to show up: Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook. You expected them to come together as they had been nearly inseparable in high school. As Jin finished off one of the appetizers, you spotted Jimin and Taehyung walking in. You got up and rushed towards them.

"Happy birthday!" Jimin and Taehyung said, nearly tripping each other as they ran to hug you. "It's been too long, Y/N!" The two boys had moved out of the city for college and you rarely got to see them. You didn't know what you do if Jungkook--your best friend--had gone with them.

"I'm so glad you guys could make it! Come on and sit down, we're just waiting on Jungkook."

The appetizers were gone and the missing chair at the table remained. Worry grew in your throat and you glanced down at your phone for the umpteenth time to see if he had texted you. Even, just a simple "Running late!" or "Stuck in traffic!" would calm your nerves.

"Have you guys heard from Jungkook at all?"

The other guys all shook their heads and gave you sympathetic looks. You'd put off ordering, but it'd been nearly an hour since most of you arrived and you didn't want to keep the staff waiting any longer. "All right, let's order."

"I'm sure he just got stuck in traffic or something, Y/n," Jin said, reaching out and tapping your hand.

Your heart dropped as you read his last reply. You felt tears stinging your eyes, but you pushed them back before the other guys could notice.

"He's not coming," you said.

"What?" you heard someone ask, but you were too focused on not allowing your spiraling thoughts ruin your birthday and holding back tears to register who it was.

"He said he got a date or something. I don't know, but come on, we can enjoy this without him."

Due to the solemn looks on their faces, you knew they saw right through your facade. You and Jungkook had been best friends since elementary school where he accidentally trampled you when he was racing his friends. Despite ending up with a badly skinned knee and a couple of bruises, you were fine, but Jungkook had insisted on taking you to the nurse's office anyway. He pretended to sprain his ankle just so he could sit and keep you company.

What had happened since then? You'd never felt like your friendship was dwindling when it came to Jungkook. Whenever either of you dated, it didn't make a difference. High school graduation didn't separate you. Not even when Jungkook forced you to a haunted house in high school and laughed when he saw the stain on your jeans and realized you'd peed your pants in fright.

Despite ignoring for Overwatch or coming to your apartment just for the free food, he always ended up doing small things to make up for it. You often found chocolate bars stashed in the odd drawer or cupboard to make up for all the food he steals. After he finished laughing, Jungkook allowed you to wear his sweatshirt to cover it and bought you new jeans. You still had that sweatshirt stashed in your closet somewhere.

vVv

The tears stopped by the end of dinner, but now anger ran down your spine. How dare he skip your birthday for someone he just met? He'd never done anything like this before, he was the one person in this world that you could depend on, and now he's not. You feel a pang of sadness in your stomach and reach out for your portion of the bill, which Jungkook had promised to pay for.

"Stop," Jin said, reaching for the bill you'd just barely wrapped your fingertips around. "You're not paying. We'll split yours." You nodded, powerless to the eldest's tone.

After the bill was paid, everyone got up and starting readying to leave. You had taken a taxi, expecting Jungkook to take you home afterward. Jin seemed to notice, his brown eyes melting when they met yours.

"Hey, come on, I'll walk you home."

You nodded and waved goodbye to the other guys as you all walked in opposite directions or climbed into taxis. You didn't catch the other guys thumbs upping Jin and giving him reassuring smiles.

"Thanks for coming," you said. "Even though it kinda got ruined."

"I'll always come, Y/N."

"Oh, when I get a hold of his bunny ass--"

"Go easy on him, Y/N. I'm sure he has a better reason than he told you."

"He better be on his death bed then."

Jin let out a snort, which caused you to smile, but the smile soon faded and so did the fake happiness the anger made you feel. Now you just felt hopeless and felt the tears stinging in your sinuses again.

"Do," you said, already your voice faltering. "you think I'm still enough?"

Jin stopped. "What do you mean?"

"Am I still enough for him? Maybe he found a better friend," you said, your gaze painting the sidewalk. "I mean, I always rely on him. He's always my shoulder to cry on. Maybe he finally got tired of it. Got tired of me."

Jin placed a hand on your shoulder. It felt odd, as Jin wasn't one for skinship, but his touch was comforting, even if you were imagining it was Jungkook's. Except you couldn't, Jungkook's touch was old, familiar, warm. Like the fireplace at your grandparent's house or when your car is completely heated on a snowy day. Jin's--sure, it was warm--but it wasn't Jungkook.

"No, no, of course not," Jin said, moving to hug you, your cheek hitting his chest. "That could never happen. You and Jungkook have been friends for years. If he was gonna get tired of you, he would've already."

You scoffed, half in laughter and half in fear. "Thanks."

"Okay, but seriously, Jungkook cares about you. A lot." Jin paused and sighed. You looked up, noticing his eyes weren't on you, but rather he was looking up. His eyes looked glazed, but you didn't remember him having any drinks. "He wouldn't allow himself to lose you, Y/N. Trust me."

The rest of the walk was filled with a comfortable silence. It was only a few more blocks from where you'd stopped, so you reached your apartment in just a few minutes.

"Thanks for walking with me," you said. "Sorry, I got kinda sad halfway through."

Jin shook his head and reached to move a piece of your ponytail that had escaped from the hairband and fallen roguishly over your head.

"You don't need to apologize for your feelings, Y/N. Just promise me you won't kill the kid. I'm sure this is all just a misunderstanding."

You nodded, although you weren't convinced that Jungkook didn't now hate you for reasons you didn't know.

"Thanks," you said. "For everything."

Jin nodded. "You're welcome." He turned and walked into the night and you turned your back before he disappeared.

vVv

"How did the confession go?" Jimin asked, as soon as Jin walked into the small apartment he shared with Yoongi, which was now cramped with six bodies.

"It didn't."

Jimin and the other faces in the room all contorted in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I didn't confess."

"But, why? Wasn't that your plan? Don't you like her?"

"She loves someone else," Jin said, his voice deeper than usual, his heartbreak captured in the back of his throat. "And, someone else loves her."

vVv

Two Days Later

You hadn't heard anything from Jungkook since the night of your birthday and you weren't sure what hurt more--the fact that he didn't care enough to explain himself or that he had seemingly replaced you. His Instagram was full of stories and posts of him with the girl you assumed was the one he skipped your birthday for. She was beautiful with large dark eyes and curly hair. His arm was around her shoulders and then eventually her waist. He must really like her because you remember how it took Jungkook nearly two years just to feel comfortable placing an arm around you.

You huffed and threw your phone onto your bed as you ran your hands through your hair. You were still mad, but you didn't want to lose your best friend. You remembered Taehyung mentioning how all the guys were getting together for Overwatch.

You hardly thought as you headed towards Jin's and Yoongi's apartment--the largest of the apartments belonging to those in your friend group.

You didn't bother knocking as you entered the apartment. You found the seven guys all crowded onto two couches and watching Taehyung and Jungkook. They didn't notice you until you slipped in and placed your hand on Jimin's shoulder—who jumped at your touch.

"Y/N!"

All seven heads turned to look at you. Most breaking into smiles and friendly greetings and offering you snacks.

"What are you doing here?" Jungkook asked, his voice breaking through the revelry. He was normally so soft-spoken, but at this moment, his voice grated through the air.

"I was hoping we could talk."

"You weren't invited here."

Your stomach turned. He'd never spoken to you like this, ever. Jungkook was normally the happiest when you showed up unannounced.

"Since when do I need an invitation, Jungkook? This is Jin and Yoongi's place, not yours."

Jungkook didn't respond but instead unpaused the game. Taehyung barely had time to close his mouth from watching the two of you that he fumbled with the controller as he realized Jungkook had restarted the game.

"Oh, so you're just gonna ignore me then?"

You rolled your eyes at how typical this was of all your ex-boyfriends. Towards the end of the relationship, they always ignored you for something else. Sometimes it was someone else, others it was their job. And yet, others, it was video games.

Jungkook had been there with you for all of these failed relationships. He said you deserved someone better, someone, who would never leave you or ignore you. You thought he was the only constant in your life, the one person who would never leave you, but now, he was just like all the rest.

Tears stung your sinuses. You dug your feet into the carpet and grabbed onto the back of the couch, trying to focus on the game. The guys had gone back to talking amongst themselves, eating, and watching the game. Yet, the air felt different, you caught concerned glances flicking your way and Jin silently offered you a slice of pizza which you declined, only eliciting another puppy-eyed look from the eldest of the group.

Jungkook was close to winning and the tears were soon beginning to simmer and your hands balled into fists. Before you could think or stop yourself, you marched around the couch and reached for the cord that was connected to the Xbox. The screen went black and all the eyes in the room shifted to you.

"Y/N?! What the fuck?!" Jungkook said, his voice rising. "I was about to win!"

"Jungkook, we need to talk and you're being an asshole."

Jungkook's ears were red and his eyes hard as steel. "This is ridiculous, Y/N. You came here uninvited to talk to me and when I go back to playing games because that's what I'm here for, you unplugged the system and demand I talk to you. And, I'm the asshole?"

You wanted to scream and pull your hair out. Yet, the thing you wanted most was to cry into Jungkook's oversized, black T-shirt because you knew it smelled of his cologne.

"Jungkook, you skipped my birthday party and you said we could talk about it, but it's been two days and I just want my best friend back."

"Y/N, why can't you just take the hint you're not wanted? This was supposed to be a guy's night and now you've had to come in here and ruin everything. You're way too clingy, like, this is why they always leave you."

"Jungkook!" Jin said.

You barely registered as the other boys chastised Jungkook as your vision blurred from the tears. You swore you saw his face soften before your eyes were totally filled with tears, but you couldn't be sure.

"Y/N," Jin said. You felt his hand come to rest gently on your shoulder. "Come on, I'll take you home."

vVv

A few days later you found yourself standing outside of Jungkook's apartment. You knew Taehyung and Jimin were staying with him, so you secretly hoped one of them would open the door.

The hallway was silent and dimly lit. It felt like midnight despite being noon. You softly knocked on the door, the sound--while quiet--seemed to echo down the hallway. You weren't sure what you were going to do or say when he opened the door. You were only sure that you missed the way he used to show up at your place at midnight with ice cream sandwiches or the way he let you borrow his sweatshirts when you were cold or couldn't sleep.

Thirty seconds passed and you knocked again. Firmer this time, each knock ringing out in the empty hallway.

"Jungkookie," you said softly.

You heard footsteps on the other side of the door. They were faint, but you recognized them from when he slept over at your apartment when you were sick or going through a rough time.

You listened as the door unlocked and slowly opened. He only opened the door a crack, just enough to peak out, as if you were an unknown person knocking on his door. As if you didn't know the layout of his apartment or that he kept all his mess concentrated to the common areas and his bedroom immaculate.

"Y/N...what are you doing here?"

His voice was softer than the last time you spoke. You knew Jin had told Jungkook how much you cried as he took you home and how you didn't answer his texts all night.

"I just wanted to see you," you said. "We don't have to talk or anything. I just miss you."

Jungkook didn't say anything. His eyes scanning over you. Your hair was unwashed and pulled into a bun and you wore sweatpants and a T-shirt. Dark circles outlined your eyes and even though it had only been a few days, your face looked thinner and your skin languid.

Another set of footsteps approached and the door swung open wider. Taehyung stood there in just his boxers and munching on a piece of toast. His eyes widened when he saw you and he glanced over at Jungkook, who's eyes were looking down at your feet.

"Hey, stop being a dick and let her in."

"Put on some clothes then," Jungkook said, his voice quiet and low, almost a growl. He swung the door all the way open and disappeared into his apartment.

Taehyung met your eyes and shrugged. He offered a small smile as you walked into the apartment. You hadn't brought anything with you, not sure exactly what would happen.

"I won't stay long," you said. "I just wanted to see him."

"At least have breakfast with me," he said, dropping two pieces of bread into the toaster.

You nodded and fell onto the couch. You'd done this countless times. At 4 in the morning after a night out, you'd collapse on Jungkook's couch still in your heels and your makeup slowly wearing off. You usually woke up the next morning in Jungkook's bed, your heels set by the door and your makeup at least mostly wiped off. At 6 pm as you leaned against Jungkook's shoulder as the movie started, your hand diving into the popcorn bowl in his lap. Most of your favorite memories happened on his couch.

"I hope you like Nutella," Tae said, handing you a piece of toast.

You laughed. "I love it," you said. "How do you stay so fit eating like this?"

Taehyung was still in his boxers. While he didn't have a six pack, he certainly wasn't hard to look at and the slight toning of his stomach showed he was putting in some effort.

"I'll gain five pounds just from eating this," you said, and despite your words, you took a large bite.

"Then you should have another," Jungkook said from the other side of the room. You hadn't noticed him there, he must've slipped in when Taehyung distracted you with the toast. "You're getting too skinny."

"I didn't ask you, Jungkook," you said. You crossed your arms over your chest and sat back, your toast abandoned on the arm of the couch.

"I'm just worried about you."

"Since when? When you stopped texting me? Or, when you ditched my birthday party for someone you just met?"

Jungkook's eyes turned soft in the way that would usually make you melt. But, you kept your eyes off of his and your spine straight.

"Y/N..."

"Listen, Jungkook, I might've come here cause I missed you, but that doesn't mean I've forgiven you."

Jungkook didn't say anything. Silence filled the apartment and after what felt like an eternity, he left to his bedroom.

"Are you okay?" Taehyung asked.

You nodded. "I think I just need a nap or something. I'm getting a headache." You looked around the apartment. There was only one bedroom and both Taehyung and Jimin were staying with Jungkook during their visit. "Where are you sleeping?"

Taehyung nodded and gestured toward the couch. "There," he said.

"Oh," you said. "Can I borrow it for an hour or so?"

"Be my guest. But, you know, even though you two are fighting and all, I bet Jungkook would let you have the bed."

You shook your head. "No," you said. "I'm not asking him for any favors and the couch looks more comfortable anyway."

Taehyung shrugged. You laid down and turned your back to him, missing the knowing smile as he cleaned up. You listened as he cleaned up and got dressed before leaving the apartment. It wasn't long before the tears came and you sobbed into the couch cushion as quietly as you could. The last thing you wanted was for Jungkook to emerge from his bedroom and find you like this.

He'd seen you cry dozens of times and you'd even held him as he sobbed into you. You didn't mind crying in front of him, but you knew it would destroy him to see you like this and to know he was the cause. Even if you mad at him, even if you were losing him, you didn't want to crush him.

You didn't remember falling asleep, but when you awoke, his scent was everywhere. You pressed your face into the pillow and stretched out your legs comfortably. You sighed until a thought crossed your mind. Pillow?

You opened your eyes and found yourself in Jungkook's bedroom. It was dark and the covers were pulled up to your chin. Jungkook wasn't in the room and from the empty feeling in the air, he wasn't in the apartment either. Your phone was next to you on the nightstand and plugged into Jungkook's charger.

You glanced at the time and realized your nap had lasted three times longer than you anticipated and you sat in bed as you realized that you probably needed to go home. However, before you could pull your eyes away from your lock screen, a text notification from a couple of hours ago caught your attention.

vVv

"Hey, sorry, I'm late," Taehyung said, walking into Jin and Yoongi's apartment where the other five boys were already crowded on the twin couches. "Y/N showed up at Jungkook's and I needed to see what happened."

The others all looked at Taehyung expectantly. "Jungkook doesn't know about this, right?"

"We didn't tell him."

Taehyung nodded. "Well, they're definitely in love with each other. Jungkook was jealous as hell and Y/N's heartbroken. I could practically see Jungkook splitting in half when he realized how upset she was."

"Well, didn't you all notice how when she started crying after he got mad at her for unplugging the Xbox, how he just broke? I don't think he cared about the game anymore, but then Jin swooped in and stopped it before he could apologize."

All eyes swiped towards Jin and he shrugged. "What? She was to the point of crying. I didn't know what he was going to do and I didn't want to upset either of them more."

"Does he know that you never confessed?"

Jin shook his head. "He never asked."

"Jin!" all the guys said at one.

"That would change everything! He probably thinks you and Y/N are together."

"It's pretty obvious we're not."

"I don't know the way you intervened during the fight and walked her home. It could be seen as you protecting her."

"Well, whatever, what's the plan? We have to get them to make up somehow. And confess, cause they're gonna drive us crazy pining after each other." Jin looked around at the other faces and all of them were, in turn, watching him.

"Well, we need to force them to be alone somehow," Namjoon said. "We could try locking them somewhere, but that's gonna be difficult cause the party is here and none of the doors lock." Eyes wandered as they tried to find a solution and eventually, Jin's eyes fell on the TV where a cartoon cop was catching a criminal, the handcuffs snapping down on the culprit's wrists.

"I think I might have an idea."

vVv

Taehyung and Jimin were taking the train back to their college town in the morning, so that meant you'd all spend the night before getting drunk and gorging yourselves on all the pizza you could.

Jin and Yoongi offered to host the party and a few of their neighbors offered up their apartments so everyone could spread out. You all invited your extended friends and neighbors if everyone came, you didn't doubt the party would probably get out of hand, but that was half the fun.

As you brushed on your blush and primped your hair for the final time, you felt butterflies in your stomach. Jungkook was going to be there. There was no way he would miss out on a good party and the opportunity for free food and drinks.

You wore a short white dress that was admittedly a little shorter than you would normally wear. But, with Jungkook ignoring you, you wanted attention and you didn't really care who it was from. Plus, you liked the way it hugged your curves and how when paired with the perfect heels, made your legs look longer.

You arrived a few minutes early to the party with the expectation of helping set up, but the party was already in full swing. When the elevator opened, people crowded the hall with cups in hand and music blasting from Jin and Yoongi's apartment. At this rate, the cops would be called in a couple hours, unless Jin and Yoongi had talked to all their neighbors beforehand, but you highly doubted it.

You waded through the bodies and found your friends all invested in a game of beer pong. The younger three on one end and the older four on the other. The older ones were currently winning and you smirked as you remembered just how good Yoongi was at the game.

"Need help?" you asked, placing your arm around Taehyung's shoulders, the heels allowing you to do so easier, although it still looked slightly awkward.

"Ah, finally! Someone who can rival Yoongi!"

You laughed, trying not to allow your eyes to wander over to Jungkook who was standing closer to you than he had for weeks. "Who's turn is it?"

"Yours if you want."

You nodded and walked up to the table. You angled your arm and aimed for one of the back cups, even if you missed, it may still land in one of the front cups that remained. You tossed the ping pong ball and it sailed perfectly into the cup.

"Yes! Drink up, Min Yoongi!"

Yoongi smirked and took the cup and downed it. You two had played this game countless time, both won and lost countless times, to the point that it was no longer about winning, but rather, who could get the other drunk quicker.

Yoongi aimed his shot and tossed it flawlessly into the cup right in front of you. You took out the ball and downed the cup. The beer was pretty much tasteless which meant it went down easily but left a bad taste in the back of your throat.

After a few shots back and forth, you had drunk twice more and Yoongi once. You were aiming up another shot, intending to tie it up when you felt a hand on your shoulder. You looked behind you and caught Jungkook's eyes.

"Are you gonna let us play?"

"Do you want to win or not?" you said, turning back and aiming up your shot. You were already a little tipsy and your head ached as you concentrated.

"Y/N, it'll be no fun to get drunk so early," he said. "Come on." His voice was soft and familiar. He'd done this dozens of times. Prevented you from getting too drunk or going home with the wrong guy. He brought you back when the alcohol began to take over. This time--however--you turned away and aimed the ball. Missing.

Yoongi tosses the ball in what appears to be a haphazard fashion, but it sinks straight into a cup. You pick it up and bring it to your lips, but before you can drink, the cup is being knocked from your hands and the beer spills almost entirely onto your dress.

You see Jungkook staring at you wide-eyed--the obvious culprit--his hand still gripping the cup.

"Jungkook!" you yelled, people turned in your direction, but your yell was soon forgotten as the music continued. All but your small group turned back to their own conversations. "Would you stop trying to be my friend? You made it quite obvious you no longer wanted our friendship and you just keep screwing everything up!"

"Y/N, I..."

Tears were beginning to fill your eyes and the only thing you wanted to do was get drunk and forget this night happened. You stepped forward to push through the crowd when someone grabbed your wrist. You knew from the touch that it wasn't Jungkook and when you glanced back, Jin's lips were upturned in a small smile.

"Wait, Y/N," he said. "I'm really sorry about this."

You cocked your head in confusion, but before your lips could form words to ask Jin what he was apologizing for you felt something click onto your wrist and found a handcuff locked around your wrist and you noticed the other was locked to another wrist. You followed the chain and met Jungkook's dark, confused eyes.

"Have fun, kids. We aren't unlocking you until you talk everything out."

vVv

Ten minutes later you stood in the kitchen as Jungkook tried to work a kitchen knife into the lock. The beer was slowly making your dress more and more see-through and you glanced around the room.

"Jungkook, can we try this somewhere else?"

He looked up at you with his brows furrowed in confusion. You hadn't managed to say anything before his eyes widened and he quickly shrugged off his flannel. It caught on his cuff and he struggled to get the sleeve over the handcuff and chain.

"Fuck it," he said, taking the knife and cutting into the seam where the sleeve met the shoulder.

"Jungkook isn't this a bit drastic? We can just go into the bathroom or something."

"No, it's okay. I can just cut off the other one later."

He brought around the uncut sleeve and brought over your shoulder and brought the cut sleeve over the chain and up your arm. The way the flannel hit it ended up covering your entire dress and draping across your bare thighs.

As soon as you were covered and comfortable again, he once again tried to unlock the handcuffs and your hand was at his mercy as he moved the knife point back and forth in the lock.

"Jungkook, this isn't going to work. You're just gonna end up hurting one of us."

Jungkook sat the knife back on the counter looked down dejectedly at your cuffed wrists. You couldn't help the pang of hurt in your stomach. Jin had handcuffed the two of you so you would talk and all Jungkook could focus was on how to get the handcuffs off without talking.

"Maybe we can break the chain," he said. "If we both pull, our combined strength might be enough."

Your wrist was already starting to become red and raw because Jin had accidentally snapped the cuff on a little tight, but before you could protest, Jungkook began pulling on the chain.

You immediately yelped in pain and your wrist attempted to escape the pain, causing your body to fold in on itself. You found yourself crouched and leaning against the counter, your arm almost straight above your head to remain close enough to Jungkook's so that it didn't dislocate the joint.

"Y/N?" Your name was barely audible over the music and the people around you many of which shot odd glances or coy smiles your way.

"It's tight, Jungkook. Jin accidentally locked it too tight. Can--can we just go talk and get these things off?"

Jungkook nodded, seeing your teary eyes from the pain and helping you to your feet. His free palm came to rest on your shoulder and his handcuffed hand grasped your wrist and he slipped two of his fingers between your skin and the cuff. It was the first time he'd touched you since before your birthday and you felt your knees go weak and something shifted in you with his touch. The plate tectonics of your heart shifting suddenly and with no warning.

"Let's go to the bathroom, first."

You were confused as he pulled you into the bathroom and situated you against the counter. He reached into the cupboard behind you and pulled out some lotion and squirted it onto his handcuffed hand. He rubbed it softly onto your wrist where the handcuff had rubbed the skin red and raw.

"Better?"

You nodded and looked up at his face which hovered not far above yours but was focused down on your wrist. His jaw was clenched and his features were stiff. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out the sleeve he'd cut from his flannel.

"I think if we roll this down we can put it between the cuff and your wrist. It might make it feel tight, but it won't hurt you so much."

He rolled the sleeve down under it was a single cuff which he carefully slipped over your hand and under the cuff. It did work, your skin feeling relieved from the lotion and the cloth, although it did still feel slightly too tight.

"Thanks," you said. "But, maybe we should get out of here. I don't want your girlfriend to get the wrong idea."

Jungkook met your eyes. "What? Girlfriend?"

"The girl you went on the date with?"

"Oh, it uh, didn't work out."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

There was a long pause as Jungkook continued to adjust the cuff to ensure it stayed. His eyes were focused on your wrist.

"I'm sorry," he said. "For saying you were clingy and bringing your exes into this. I'm sorry for everything."

You looked down at him, your free hand coming to play with the hairs that grew around his ears. His hair was longer than you'd ever seen it and you smiled as he seemed to lean into your hand.

Jungkook finished adjusting the cuff and looked up at you. "I think Yoongi's room is empty. He didn't want people in there, but I bet he won't mind if it's us."

You nodded and followed closely behind Jungkook as you walked through the crowd to Yoongi's bedroom. It--like Jungkook had said--was empty. The two of you flopped down on the bed and despite laying a foot apart your fingers continued to brush against each other as you adjusted your wrists in the cuffs.

"I can't figure out why Jin handcuffed us," Jungkook said. The music was just a series of thumps now and even though it was still loud, you could no longer make out the lyrics and could hear Jungkook's voice without him having to raise it. "I thought he wouldn't want us to hang out anymore."

"What?" you asked. "Why would Jin care if we hang out?"

Jungkook turned and looked at you. His hair was wet from sweat and his hair curled in thick tendrils over his forehead. "Aren't you and Jin dating?"

"What? No! Jin and I are just friends. What makes you think that?"

"Jin told me he was gonna confess to you at your party."

Jungkook pulled his gaze from you and focused up at the ceiling. You thought back on that night. Jin had been acting more generous and gentlemanly that night, but you just chalked it up to it being your birthday.

"I didn't even know he liked me. Is that why you've been avoiding me? You thought I was with Jin and you didn't want to interfere?"

"That's part of it."

"What's the other part of it?"

His eyes came back to yours and you felt his fingers brushing against yours. But, it wasn't just the millisecond brushes as he adjusted. No, his fingers were practically intertwined with yours.

"Y/N, we've been friends so long...I don't want to ruin it..."

"Jungkook, it's already ruined."

There was a long tense silence between the of you. His fingers fully intertwined with yours. It was far from the first time you'd held his hand, but it felt different. It was softer, yet more intense at the same time. As if your hand were porcelain that could break at even the slightest touch.

Jungkook moved so quickly that you have no idea how he came to hover above you. His free arm resting above his head and the one handcuffed to you still intertwined with yours to the side. "What would've happened if Jin had confessed to you?"

"Kookie?"

"What would've happened?"

"I-I would've turned him down."

"Why?"

"Cause I'm in love with someone else."

His lips were on your before you even finished the sentence. He was gentle but urgent as if he'd been waiting two thousand years to kiss you.

"I'm still mad at you for skipping my birthday party," you said when he pulled away. "I don't care if you're in love with me, your cute ass still has a lot of making up to do."

Jungkook smiled as he leaned down placed a small kiss on your neck. "Well, I never got to give you my gift."

He reached into his back pocket and pulled out two tickets. You grabbed them from his hands and you smiled as you realized it was for the musical you'd been dying to see.

"It's tomorrow," he said. "Pretty good first date, yeah?"

"Hey, don't get cocky yet!" It was hard for you to hide your smile and you didn't want to give him the satisfaction, so, you just leaned up and kissed him.

vVv

You woke up the next morning enveloped in Jungkook's arms and his one-armed flannel. You looked up to see him scrolled through his phone, but when you squirmed, he looked down at you.

"Good morning, baby," he said.

"That sounds so weird."

"What, baby?" He smirked and giggled as you reached up and playfully hit his shoulder.

"Wait," you said, looking at your unbound wrist. You looked down and found the handcuffs on the bed. "They must've uncuffed us last night."

"I hadn't even realized," he said. A blush appeared on his face. "I didn't want to let go of your hand."

"Aww," you said, reaching up and ruffling his hair. "You're such a softie."

Jungkook smirked and grabbed your wrists. "Hey, I'm not completely a softie."

He held your wrists and glanced down at the handcuffs. "Maybe, we should keep these."

#bts #bts imagines #bts fanfic #bts fan fiction #jungkook #jungkook fanfic #bts friends to lovers #fan fiction #jungkook imagine #jeon jungguk #jungkook fluff #jungkook friends to lovers #btsfanfic #bts fanfiction #originally posted on wattpad #farfromsuga

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retvenkos · 4 years

Text

“i am a little bit of everything i’ve seen in my life.”

requested

MY HEADCANONS FOR THE HYBRID HARRY POTTER HOUSES...

gryffindor/ravenclaw

if you’re in gryffindor you think you’re more “refined” than everyone else, and if you’re in ravenclaw you think everyone’s a stiff

this is the person with the braincell! let it be known that they have it, but refuse to use it

they have to be a little chaotic because they know what consequences are but disregard them

these people call themselves ambiverts but it really just means they won’t talk to you if they hate you

and i say that lovingly

okay, but if they do talk to you??? best people to talk with - they can hold an interesting conversation masterfully and it’s all because their enthusiasm is off the charts

let them ramble, it’s very endearing.

and physical touch is probably their love language so cuddle with them, too

they’re sci-fi and superhero nerds change my mind

now their loyalty is really interesting because gryffindors are really loyal where as a ravenclaws are individualistic and prioritize #1, so i feel like they are very much on guard

befriending is hard - they’ll keep you at bay until they are sure you can be trusted. and they won’t be made to feel bad about it either.

but once you are close to them,,,,, they would save you or die trying

their inside jokes are god tier

i don’t know how they do it other than they know how to make people laugh using the most unexpected methods and because it was such a weird experience, people are able to remember really well?

like, they could say “nutmeg” and everyone around you starts laughing, meanwhile you’re just ???

gryffinclaws are also really interesting because they don’t do well with conflict, but drama sort of gravitates toward them because let’s be real here, they can kind of be actively seeking it out, sometimes.

i mean, it’s usually to avoid having to deal with deeper emotions or even bigger problems, but sometimes they have a hand in their own suffering....

also, these people never study if they don’t like the class. they don’t. if they dislike the subject, they procrastinate with every fibre of their being.

but if it’s something they love, they are the first to get it done and will 100% do extra research and talk about it all the time.

they say they love both cats and dogs equally, and they actually mean it.

they are most likely concerned with wanting to change the world in some way - but they want it to be a tangible way that still allows for creativity and freedom

this is also the friend who stays up wayyyyyyy too late, and when you ask them what they’re doing, all they can say is “memes”

and they really do love memes - send them some. it’s their primary way of communicating

they love going out to get lunch and chatting with friends

food + people = love

they’ll even do it in their room! just bring bread and a good conversation - they can stay up for hours

also,,,, creativity and courage??? these are the people who actually have the confidence to publish their writing/art/whatever, and i admire that.

but writers block hits them so hard... i’m so sorry

okay, but if i understand the meme right, i’d give them wine aunt status.

gryffindor/hufflepuff:

these bastards

but i say that lovingly!

this is your meddling friend - that person that knows all and you can’t hide a secret from them to save your life.

and they seem to know everyone?????

they could ruin your life if they wanted to, but they are sweet uwu children and would never - in fact, they’re appalled you would even suggest it.

don’t let them hang out with gryffindor slytherins, no matter what. they will be corrupted and then it’s all over.

“but why are they bastards?” you ask. well,,,, if you’re acting surly or really don’t want to do a thing™ they will use their knowledge against you, prodding you in the direction you did not want to be going

of course, they only ever use this power when it’s for your greater good, but it’s annoying and invasive enough to grant them bastard status.

10/10 the mom friend.

even has the mom stare.

you know - the whole “you’re being irrational and you’re going to do this no matter how you hate it” stare

they have the m o s t energy and i honestly admire that

and they’re so hard working and dedicated that motivation isn’t a problem? it’s really just trying to get a solid, coherent thought that plagues them.

someone please get them a planner - they are constantly running late, but excited to be here!

100% have cottagecore vibes, or at least naturecore or adventurecore

point is, they want to be outside, doing things

they most likely want to make change in this world, but on a smaller level - with the people they care about, or the place they live

they really want to see what this world has to offer, but they are deathly afraid of being lonely

ngl, they probably get hurt by people a lot. they’re a little too trusting and go in a little too deep and when that other person leaves it does irrevocable damage.

it’s kind of like idealism and optimism, but at what cost?

100% smother their own feelings with a pillow and then preoccupy themself with the problems of others to not deal with their own

get them someone to talk to, please. they deserve it.

most likely they are an extrovert and surround themself with people so that they won’t have to feel loss as hard

spoiler alert: loss is always crushing.

gryffinpuffs believe in people - it’s their greatest gift and worst downfall

and they cannot live without them

do they have the braincell? sometimes. most of the time they share it and forget to ask for it back.

they probably like to do tangible things - like sculpture or knitting, baking, caring for plants....

something they can hold close

and if they read, they 100% finish books in one sitting. they just binge and it’s very iconic of them

probably a romantic, idk

they want a meet cute in real life and read all of the marriage fanfics

gryffindor/slytherin:

now these are the people who smile when you call them a bastard

and are most likely to be called a bastard unlovingly

at first glance they might be a little low on the empathy scales, but if you make it into their circle they would kill, die, and resurrect themself for you

BUT! all things come with a cost.

these are your friends with shifting loyalties. they are loyal until they feel your loyalty toward them fade, and they can and will shift against you for self preservation.

and they won’t feel bad about where their loyalties lie.

but please love them because if you really do believe in them they will feel it and it will rock their whole world

and if your feelings are strong, you’ll be surprised how quickly they can turn to you for guidance

if you haven’t noticed, this group is extremely intuitive - they can just sense what everyone feels about them

all that intuition... and quite a lot of tact

maybe it’s the cunning or the self preservation in them, but they can read a room really well - only bested by the hufflepuff/slytherin - and can sway everyone to their side

you want someone to give oddly accurate motivational speeches? this is the person you’re looking for!

slytherdors.... you either love them or you hate them

but no joke these are the people that the gryffinclaws and slytherclaws are constantly fighting - and the slytherdor is ready to throw hands at any given moment, someone pLEASE send a ravenpuff (huffleclaw?) to save them

if you wanted someone to embody teenage angst, HERE YOU GO!

it’s either that or they are extremely competitive and not afraid to call someone out

if there’s a dueling club, someone please put restraints on these children

as you can imagine, these people have a lot going on, and what they really need is just some quiet stability.

they need to see this world isn’t constantly out to get them.

they absolutely love music, so listen to songs with them! they have the best spotify playlists with the most obscure vibes, and it’s very aesthetically pleasing

also! listen to them in any group setting - they make the best, dry comments under their breath

if you laugh at them they will reach into the heavens and give you the moon and the stars

they really want the ~found family~ and definitely seek it out

they crave redemption arcs

they give me baby wolf vibes - they are wild killers, but they’re at that tender age where they’re still vvv similar to a puppy, when given affection

their slytherin side has tamed the impulsivity of a gryffindor, but the level of tactician a slytherdor is varies wildly. you never know what you’re going to get, and they are actually really good at covering it up

kind of like on those alignment charts where it’s like “looks like they could kill you but is a cinnamon roll” except it’s “seems competent, but is really an idiot”

they really need an animal companion, probably a cat or tarantula

the slytherdor probably doesn’t feign to study - they either do or they don’t and if that’s bad for their mental health then they’ll fight god himself

i get a lot of vibes of zuko screaming at the sky in that lightning storm, where he’s like, “come on, strike me! you’ve never held back before!”

maybe i’ve been a little negative, but uh,,,, their love language is sitting in the dark, holding hands and talking about the lamest part of their day

also, they hate meaningless endings to tv shows - they just want to see everyone be happy or die trying

ravenclaw/hufflepuff:

you mean the adjusted ravenclaw?

maybe that was mean, but what i really mean is that they are the most emotionally intelligent of all the ravenclaws

these ravenclaws know how to use conflict resolution skills, and they are very much needed in ravenclaw tower

they’ve been coaching the gryffindor/ravenclaws, but good luck maintaining their attention if they don’t want to listen

they also have patience! that means they get along well with slytherins.

even if they’re tired, they’re a good sport about it

light academia aesthetic, or just soft vibes in general.

they are probably the only artists with a coherent schedule that they keep up on, while still remembering to stay hydrated and function like a normal human being

they lowkey crave structure - the unexpected is not for them

riddles? those have a right and wrong answer - they absolutely hate it when the gryffindor/ravenclaws or ravenclaw/slytherins give an answer that is “technically” right

they probably don’t tell anyone, though

passive-aggression? yep. i can feel them seething from here.

like, they can solve minor problems and can get over bigger ones in time, but if it’s a huge slight, they are never going to let go

and it’s super palpable when they dislike you because they are so kind to everyone else

they probably have a passion for poetry but can’t seem to write any themself

definitely still keep a book of it hidden under their bed, though

and if they are good they vehemently deny it but continue to write anyway

the biggest thing they struggle with is knowing their direction in life - who do they want to be?

abstract thinking is an art form, and these ravenclaws ponder existence in the most intangible ways you’ve ever seen

10/10 lay on the ground and stare at the ceiling for like 3 hours straight

they can vary wildly on the introvert-extrovert scale, but they are never in the middle. extremes only.

you can get close to them out with acts of service - they give so much, please just treat them ONCE

they attach themself to so many people, though. even if they’re an introvert, you’d be surprised with their connections.

they’re so level headed and yet, they can feel so lost

kind of reminds me of 50′s moms who seem perfect on the outside but have existential crises while making a roast in heels

they don’t necessarily want to be “known” - they probably feel like that definition is changing all of the time, so it would scare them to put themself in a box

i guess they’re kind of free spirits - maybe more like the aunt who does yoga with baby goats and collects crystals and pretty shells

they are great at conflict resolution, yes, but don’t expect them to be your therapist (that’s the hufflepuff/slytherin)

they have absolutely no idea when it comes to deep feelings - they barely understand their own

probably paints, tbh, or at the very least loves to go to museums w/ really abstract art.

they actually have the braincell! they keep it a lot of the time and can be stingy with it.

they either wake up really early in the morning or stay up until the sun rises because it gives them “clarity” or something.

ravenclaw/slytherin:

they’re definitely the blunt friend who will just say things as they see them

yeah, tact is lost on them

they also love to claim that they “don’t need” people, so they butt heads with the hufflepuff/slytherin and the ravenclaw/hufflepuff a lot

they have quite a bit of stratagem up their sleeve, so people can be weary of them

their attitude does nothing to solve this, but it could also be that the slytherclaw has this idea that flattery gets them nowhere

they are so divisive in their individualism,,, good luck befriending them

but if you do befriend them, you have a powerful friend in your corner.

they are 100% that distant relative that you think hates you but you aren’t sure if that’s just the way they are

but let me tell you a secret,,,, their love language is words of affirmation and if you stroke their ego they’ll grow soft

while slytherclaws may not be very persuasive on their own, they actually work really well in teams. they know everyone’s strengths are are unafraid to take charge and tell people what needs to be done and how

they’re also really good at logical thinking, so you definitely want to be lab partners with this one

and schoolwork? they do it and they take good notes. a really great student

and their ambitions and competitiveness means they are unafraid to go far, and they will do it in style, too

this is the epitome of dark academia.

and there is very little that is chaotic when it comes to them - the slytherclaw is an excellent planner

maybe they desire more out of life - they never feel like they are quite getting what they want

they are cynical, but they they have such high hopes for this world

when they are let down, they’re not surprised but disenchanted nonetheless

they ponder the meaning of the world and what this world could be far more than they ponder their own life

they tend to see a bigger, more sweeping picture

100% they love the odyssey and definitely think it’s better than the iliad

they adore high fantasy with every fibre of their being and can really get into period dramas

i would say that a gryffindor/ravenclaw would be a good friend for them - we all know a gryffinclaw can talk, and sometimes a slytherclaw just needs to hear someone else’s take on this world

and, of course, it helps when anyone shows appreciation

okay, but they love sweets - chocolate, liquorice, peppermint, caramel... it’s one of the few childish things they allow themself to have.

they are actually relatively quick to trust? the fastest slytherin, actually

they keep their group small, but they get vibes about people and once you show them loyalty they trust you entirely.

i suppose they guess you don’t have any games because they don’t have any

ooh, but if you betray them??? they are a mess, emotionally, and will not hesitate to lash out.

but they are caring in their own way, and will do little things like reminding you to drink water or bringing you toast if you haven’t eaten and it’s very sweet

hufflepuff/slytherin:

so i know we have this idea of the slytherin sweetheart, but a slytherpuff is so much more than that

one of their strongest traits is the intersection of ambition and hard work - they will not stop until they are the best (in their mind at least)

it’s almost a petty form of competition. a bit of schadenfreude when they win.

and everyone’s immediate thought is that a hufflepuff/slytherin would be the most trusting slytherins but no.

not even close.

slytherpuffs are guarded at first, while holding a secret soft spot for you in their heart. but they won’t act on it until they are 100% sure you won’t hurt them. they are suspicious, but really want to like people.

it takes a lot to break down their walls, but when you do they already have a steady foundation for your trust to grow on, and it’s the strongest thing in this world

because of this they can often come off as cold or distant, but once you’re in their circle, oh yeah. there’s the hufflepuff qualities you were searching for.

a good contender for the mom friend position, but they aren’t overt enough to be so.

they’re not getting into your business or being slightly invasive like real mom friends, but if you need advice or a hug,,,,, this is the friend to go to.

they’re like the nice aunt. vvv comforting, but only if sought out.

oh, they have the strongest moral code i have ever seen - it cannot be shaken or swayed.

but! it can often go against the rules, so you do have a bit of chaos working beneath the surface.

i 100% believe that their love language is quality time, and most of that can be spent quietly, just sitting in the other’s presence.

i feel like 90% of their conversations is hand gestures or subtle facial expressions, so it make take a while to be able to read them, but it also means they are soooo good at reading other people

seriously, if you need a therapist in the group, this is your person. they know people so well. their intuition is off the charts.

BUT ALSO,,,, their levels of introvertedness are sky high. i feel like this is a given, but they can be in your orbit for 5 months and speak to your twice and think that is a decent amount of exposure.

please get them an extrovert. they need the exposure.

sEcReTS??? this slytherin probably has some, but you have to be like at level 50 to unlock their tragic backstory

they also have academia vibes and do really well in school work, but whether or not it’s dark academia or light academia is disputed. maybe grey academia? (is that a thing?)

they struggle with wanting to be known and yet wanting to hide parts of themself they find unattractive or unwanted

probably feel like they’re pulled in too many directions and overthink their choices just a bit too much.

everyone knows they have the braincell, but whether or not they use it is unsure

it’s so easy for their friends to coax them, they probably give it to someone else and never ask for it back even though they should be in sole custody of it

AND FLUFF ENSUES. (i realize some of these are kind of aggressive, so... vibe check!)

-- taglist: @musicallisto, @theletterhart, @locke-writes, @randomfandomimagine, @brokenandheadoverheels, @timeofmadness, @writerdream22 // message me if you’d like to be added to the taglist!

#harry potter #hogwarts #hogwarts houses #slytherin #ravenclaw #gryffindor #hufflepuff #headcanons #imagine #gryffinclaw #gryffinpuff #slytherdor #huffleclaw #ravenpuff #slytherclaw #slytherpuff #hybrid hogwarts houses

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saltine-kakyoin · 3 years

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SARAH ur tags about red hot chili pepper HELP in this au he doesnt try to kill them instead he simply scams old man caesar out of thousands of dollars by rhping (red hot chili peppering) his phone and making him pay to 'unlock exclusive bonus content' in his mobile games this goes on for weeks until caesar is complaining about how much worse the 90s are compared to the good old times to jotaro and hes like 'they are even charging you to play fb messenger! in my days you would just make your own chess game out of dirt and spit right there in the street-' and jotaro is like wdym they make u pay for fb messenger chess and caesar shows him his phone and reveals he's been paying like 4$ for every single fb messenger chess match the last 5 weeks (hes playing constantly)

anyways I need to start writing this down

I'M SCREAMING I'M FUCKING LOSING IT.. THIS IS SO FUNNY T__T

maybe it's alright that caesar died young... by doing so he avoids the indignity of getting scammed out of thousands by rhp... and also by online games at large (nonno caesar vs. genshin impact.. girl HELP LMAO)

i'm vvv obsessed with Jotaro slowly disintegrating the longer Nonno DIU goes on.. his nonna and his grandpa, both bitter exes, are back within 15 meters of each others, they're both getting scammed, there's murders, his mom is in town..... it's a lot going on T O T

also PLEASE write it down i am so excited to see all your thoughts on the nonnoverse <3

#nonno caesar

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kurosukii · 3 years

Note

time to expose myself? hell yeah

im also a virgin but I have a bf and I've been kinda over-sharing but not doing the physical sexual part (cause, trauma,, u know) . The thing is, I've been telling him how I like being a sub and we are discovering his dominant side like,, omfg

he said he never felt the urge to be do dominant until I told him I am a sub and I let him take control.

this is so sexy....i’m glad u guys are discovering ur likes through a healthy manner 👀👀👀 vvv exciting for this kind of development 👀

#i feel like this is going to be me .#[ 🂢 ] – nonnie #[ 🂡 ] – jul replies

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cottoncandyjester · 4 years

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Before i continue let me just explain..this is NOT a romance story. This is if anything a dad pro hero izuku story

This is also a self insert story cause I kinda wanna just write about my new oc 👉👈 don't judge me

That's what kiseichū looks like if y'all wanted to know and again I know this isnt everyone's tea I just wanted to write it.

VVV

Izuku wasn't sure how he felt about kids, he was always comfortable around them though as far as taking care of them he wasn't the best. As got older he learned to understand children a lot better he's not sure how he got into this situation he has though. He found kiseichū half dead in some alleyway so he did what any hero would do and got him help, when he heard that the boy didnt have any family and was going to get sent to foster care something parental stirred within him. He wasn't sure what it was but the next day he returned ready to discharge him from the hospital and take him home.

His name was Kiseichū and if having a name that literally meant parasite wasn't sad enough he had some sort of leech quirk where he absorbed the life of others to gain their attributes and even a weak version of their quirk, though he was sickly. If kiseichū didn't absorb something living every few hours bad shit happens. Izuku remembered when he first found out about his quirk, he returned home to find the kid half dead desperately reaching for a potted plant he kept near the windowsill. After a two hour cry filled scolding the two promised to better communicate their needs to each other.

" Kise, I'm home! " izuku shouted expecting to see the boy come rushing to him to see what he brought like always but this time the house was eeriely silent and he wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. Izuku looked at the time before his eyes widened and he quickly walked to his own bedroom only to open the door and see kise laying in bed wheezing and coughing, the sight was utterly terrifying. Izuku dropped the small bag he had in his hand before opening it op and showing the boy a small brown rat, he watched him grab it before slowly sitting up the creature squeaking and soon turning into a black inky mush in kise's hands. "...welcome home deku" kise spoke in a soft and deadpan tone as he stared at the hero who looked like he was going to have a heart attack. Izuku reached out roughly yanking the boy's cheeks stretching them with a panicked yet annoyed huff, this kid was going to kill him! "What did we promise?! You scared me half to death kise! You can't keep doing this!" Izuku whined in a panicked tone only for kise to wince lightly.

"deku that hurts.. you're pulling too hard" izuku let go before resting his head in the boy's lap with a low groan. Maybe they needed a better way to communicate? Izuku wasn't sure but he always felt scared to leave him alone but taking him with him wasn't a good idea.

"kise, you're six years old it's okay to ask me for things y'know I bought you a phone for thst reason" izuku glanced up at the boy only to see his light blue eyes staring back at him before an idea popped into his head and he shot up with a soarkle in his eyes. "Hey! Wanna come with me to work tommorow? You get to meet my friends and hang around the agency, plus it's still too dangerous to send you to school so this is perfect" izuku clearly seemed excited for this and for even more excited when the boy gave a soft nod.

"can I wash my hands now?" His question confused the hero until he realized the black slime like liquid was still in his hands and dripping down his arms, izuku panicked and gasped before rushing to the bathroom before running the bathtub.

"bath time! You're getting it all over the floor!"

After the two took a bath kise sat on the bed while izuku hummed blow-drying his hair, izuku loved kise's hair it was a curly mess and the colors were beautiful though detangling it was a workout in its own. "Deku..?" Izuku stopped with a small hum when he heard the boy before watching him turn around to face him. "When are you sending me away?" Izuku nearly choked at such a question before dropping the blow dryer in his hands now panicked as to why he would thing such a thing. "W-what?! Why would you say that? Did I say something bad?! Huh?!" Izuku frantically so using big hand motions as he tried to remember anything he said wrong that would make kise think he was being given away.

"no one has ever kept me for this long...I don't think. I'm a handful, I have to always wear gloves which is annoying" Kise looked down as he spoke and gazed at the black mittens he had on to prevent his quirk from activating. Izuku paused as he watched the boy and noticed his hands were shaking, was he scared? It's only been a week but izuku knew he was getting used to being here and clearly didn't want to go. The hero reached out ruffling kise's hair softly with a soft smile on his face "you aren't going anywhere kise, you can stay here for as long as you want." The two locked eyes and it was silent for a few moments before kise spoke up

"..... you're crying."

"h-huh?! I am?!" Izuku touched his face only to feel that he actually wasn't, kise crawled into his side of the bed before giving a small smile before planting his head on the pillow and sticking his tongue out at the fuming pro hero who laid next to him and faced him.

"that wasn't funny!"

"...yeah it was.."

Izuku cracked a smile before reaching out and softly flicking lose on the nose playfully before turning away from the boy. "Don't worry in a few days I'll get your room set up so you can sleep in your own ro-" izuku felt the boy softly grab his shirt and hold it softly. "I don't want my own room..I don't want to sleep alone.."

Izuku turned back to kise before flashing a bright smile to the boy "you don't have to then I guess" with that kise let go and closed his eyes with a gentle relaxed sigh

"goodnight, deku..."

"goodnight, kiseichū.."

#bnha imagines #self insert #izuku midoriya #bnha #my hero academia oc #bnha original character

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userholland · 3 years

Note

HEY !! okay first off, i LOVE your theme :') literally in love with the colour, i love everything about it and just the aesthetic is just so *chef's kiss* it makes me so happy lol

secondly, i am SO SO SO excited for part four of your dad!tom series !! you have no idea how much i love your work, and just the whole concept of tom being a dad and every emotion in the situations that you've written in that series, and have been able to promote those real feelings and emotions through the screen is insane and i applaud you for that !! your work has definitely pulled at my heartstrings, but i adore it & genuinely look up to you and your work <3

sorry i am just now seeing this but holy shit this is too sweet! (’: thank you so so SO much and please do not look up to me, i’m a terrible influence but.... that being said, i just really really am so appreciative of you and other people who still read my things and i really do owe it to y’all for motivating me and ugh im just gushing a bit but seriously, thank u so much and i can’t WAIT until you read the last part of my dad!tom series i love so vvv much <3

#heavenlyholland #this was so fucking sweet #all for her

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suga-kookiemonster · 4 years

Note

Ok Ashley, first of all when I saw the gif you used, I know you were about to FUCK ME UPPPP. Alright bubs, buckle up this is gon be a RIDE cus phew I am the biggest hoe for ego. I’ve literally re-read the whole series MULTIPLE TIMES and it’s never NOT funny, like I still cackle at the same jokes every damn time. Anyways, yes let’s get it. I love how you’ve used common tropes like fuckboy!jk, fratboy!jk, college au, F2L, and onebed, but have completely made it your own. Like I feel like even if

you posted your work under some other pen name, I’d still recognize your style and work. You have a very specific voice? Very “YOU” BRAND of writing and that’s probably one of the HARDEST things to achieve as a writer. Mc is a delight and the way she be low key losing her cool over sleepin in the same bed as kook has me cryin cus girl I FEEL YA. “just a t-shirt advertising your university’s Segway club that you had swiped off a table for free during freshman orientation” HAHAHA mc and I are the

same fuckin people is2g cus free is for me. ALSO DUDE, “Jungkook softly, but audibly inhaled, like he was gearing up to say something of importance” BUT WHAT WAS HE GOING TO SAY?! I need to know, it’s for science. Also, high key endeared that he calls he “noona” cus I’m a pervy old lady and a lady could dream ok. Yes, now we get to the good stuffs, cus motherfucker would I love to wake up to kook’s morning wood wow he really be like a man buffet- he’s both cute and dashingly sexy. “attempting to

smooth your expression into one of ignorant unconsciousness as adrenaline pounded through you. Your eyes were closed, but that didn’t stop you from feeling his close proximity as he gingerly leaned over you to scope out your face” OMFG THE WAY MY BLOOD PRESSURE SKYROCKETED. Ngl been there and it’s SO uncomfortable like can he NOT feel my heart falling right outta my ass??? Kudos to mc for keeping composure (cus I wasn’t able to oops) kinda interested in what the situation woulda looked like had

he known she was awake tho?? “really? … fucking really gonna do this now?” HAHAH OMG “the way he was using the clothes he had apparently grabbed from his bag to hide his crotch from your view” the consistency in your writing is SO IMPRESSIVE like… when I read ego I see it as a move in my head bc of all these small, but important, details. They both migrated towards each other uwu that is SO CUTE, esp with kook as the big spoon wrapped all around her ughhh my heart. And the way she grabbed a

plate of food for baby boy has me SO ENDEARED, it’s so sweet the way she’s thinking of him and his favorite food. Ok, BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT NAMJOON AND LISA, cus Namjesus they totally boned that night didn’t they?! The whole breakfast scene had me ROLLING “jungkookie lost his hands in a tragic paragliding accident” and “…like he was sitting there smiling at you, eyes sparkling like he was a big titty anime girl?” honestly, I gotta hand it to you, there has been no fic that makes me laugh the way

ego does. The dialogue, the pop culture references (re: pimp my ride, fear factor, “Squidward”, etc), the humor KILLS ME. You seem like the funny af friend in the group. Like “baby wine doesn’t exist because that illegal. and, frankly, immoral.” “But I would just like to state for the record that I’m the one who passed through her vagina.” “Tore it too, from what I hear” HAHA OMFG THEIR BANTER IS A+ bff shitting on each other and I’m living for it!!! The whole laser tag scene was pure gold.

The way lisa started opening up, jk’s cocky ass, mc/joon’s mess of team work, the way jungkook calls mc “babe” instead of “noona” (what’s with that anyways? He wanna be seen as manlier or something??), the return of the god of destruction, “Yeah, well you also have no upper lip” HAHAHAHA ok but I actually love jk’s sparce upper lip and buck teeth, it’s just so SWEET &ENDEARING. “You watched his tongue roll in his cheek as he considered you. It was sexy” HELL MFING YES IT’S SO SEXY!! I love this

characterization of jk- he’s very layered. He’s sweet, charming, sexy, dumb af, and annoying all at the same time which makes him feel vvv real to me. And now the smut. The fact that they’re in the same position as the other morning, but unlike last time, she’s ready to do something about it. The mouth on that boy omg reminds me of “do you kiss your mom with that mouth?” from an earlier chapter phew. I love that he’s focused on prepping her with all the grinding and fingering. While v sexy, also

shows he cares about her pleasure in that he wants her to enjoy penetration. The bit when he’s just dazed when she’s urging him to get a condom has me chuckling- is he THAT shook that it’s actually happening?? “He slid the rubber on with shaky hands.” Makes me think that he’s both nervous and excited and it’s more than just one time fucking to him. And the way she asks to ride him phew, she really be LIVIN THE DREAM that’s my ultimate fantasy let’s be real until he opens his dumb mouth “Hop on.

Please remember to fasten your seatbelt and for your safety keep all items stowed beneath the seat in front of you until after takeoff” OMFG HE’S SO ANNOYING HAHAHA “You placed another kiss on a pebbled nipple, intrigued when you heard him swallow a moan. Emboldened, you circled it with your tongue, scratched it lightly with your teeth. Jungkook whined, and the sound shot straight to your clit” FUCK THAT’S HOT. I am 10/10 a hoe for nipple play. Holy shit, and the way he pulled outta her cus he

knew he wasn’t going to make it in time for her to cum too, so he opts to eat her out first. We LOVE a man who prioritizes female pleasure!! Hnng and the way she agrees to continue fucking even after she’s already came and the way kook just GOES TO FUCKING TOWN ON THAT PUSS had my vag ROLLINGGGG damn I really feel bad for whoever is sharing a wall with them rn cus that headboard RIP my heart “I win” wtf dude his pillow talk SUCKS ASS. Just when she thinks she’s not just a game to him, he pulls

this shit. It’s probably just a dumb af joke cus we know my bby be competitive as all hell and also ain’t that smart, but damn. Not. The. Time. UGHHHH I just want to squish their faces together and be like "TALK TO EACH OTHER PLS- this is all a terrible misunderstanding" TL;DR my panties are wet, my heart is broken, and I kinda wanna knee kook in the balls. Thank you for this update!! Masterpieces are ALWAYS worth the wait!! It's bitter sweet that ego is comin to the end. Sending all my love

PHEWWWWW, THIS REVIEW!! 😭😭💕we still have one part left, so i’m not gonna confirm or deny any of your assumptions. but OMG, i’m so touched that my work left this big of an impression on you! your commentary made me smile so big 😩😩😩 truly, thank you so much for enjoying my wacky fic and my wacky characters. it really means a lot to know that people love my babies as much as i do, and that they’re actually as invested in the storyline as i am. ego was my first fic for the bts fandom, so she’s really special to me and it makes me happy that others enjoy her 🤧💕 and that you enjoy my writing style 😭😭😭pls 😭😭😭

thank you again for your sweet words. hopefully i can finish ch 8 sooner than later!

#fic: ego #lcksndkys #asks

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acrobaticcatfeline · 4 years

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NOBODY ASKED BUT I WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY ADHD STIMS!!!

Ok ok so flappy hands big time, it's like unsupressable. You can not stop the flappy hands. Just for context, my phone only recognizes flappy in all caps at this point. It's just so good.

Scratching and picking! Bad things, dont do them friends, your fingies will hurt and you will bleed a lot and get scratch marks everywhere. I usually only pick at my fingers, scabs or my scalp cuz I have some bad dandruff but I also have a high pain tolerance so I wont know what I'm doing a lot of the time. I mainly scratch my arms and legs cuz I get mild hallucinations that I have bugs landing on me and so I end up scratching like crazy to make it stop. I dont ever scratch myself raw tho, if anything I scratch over a scab or smth and god this is a tmi but I'm in a really good mood for some reason. These are both very unconscious but are just as hard to stop as flappy hands, you can ask my parents heh.

Chewing!!! Ok so I just dived back into this after having not done this for years, but I chew shit bad. I used to chew my shirts a ton, my mom h a t e d it. I'd just nom my collar when I was super nervous. I realized a good bit into quarantine that I had started fucking nomming the shit out of my mimikyu plushies ear. I bought myself some chew stim toys which I love and it gets it out of my system much quicker cuz they're tougher. I love them they're the only stim toys I've ever actually bought myself.

Tapping, clicking, thumpy noises. Pencils and pens clicking, the pressure you have to use and the release pressure and inertia make me so calm I love buttons and clickers and tapping things it helps me focus a L o t. Course its distracting and drives everyone else fucking batty. I had fake nails once for my mom's wedding, and while I hate having nails cuz it's bad sensory shit and I feel grimy, the tapping noises were a definite plus.

P e e l i n g. Another weird tmi but like, I started playing ukulele and now my fingers on my left hand peel a lot and it's so s a t i s f y i n g. It's like peeling Elmer's glue.

Idk what to call this other than zoomies. I like, ok so especially in the morning I'll like stretch and do a little small flappy hands cuz I do that to help me wake up my body, and sometimes itll get stuck in a super fast loop for a few seconds and my hand like tenses to where I cant like stop it. It also happens for my feets, they like twitch for several seconds and then calm down. Idk if this counts but I think so.

I have an auditory stim! I'll obsessively say it's fine over and over when I'm super stressed! Again, another one that's fucking impossible to stop. I also have it with sorry when I'm panicked.

Bouncy leg, simple bitch, I'm doing something so I can focus better, that is if nobody fucking calls me on it cuz then I get hyper aware and stop doing it. Sometimes I'll try to force the bouncy but it never works.

LOUD!!!! I am very loud and it's never on purpose but it's sort of something I learned when I was a kid, my mom and dad were very loud and unkind to each other so I think being loud was a coping mechanism that I can not stop, I have a terrible time controlling my volume except for when singing. It's a pain.

Just being destructive ig. I rip and tear at things when I'm not paying attention and I either, have nothing in my hand, or have a sharp thing in my hand. I'll tear holes in clothes, rip at stray threads, cut paper things up into tiny pieces and I will not know I'm doing it until someone screams at me for breaking things. I have destroyed my parents vacuum filter and bed because I was bored and had scissors. I swear to god my parents didnt let me use scissors or knives until I was 16. If i needed scissors for class i had to borrow them because they wouldnt let me have scissors it was. Bad.

Playing with my hair. It's no good. Vvv bad. My hair is so fucking curly it tangles together as soon as I'm done brushing it. I Will rip my hair out on accident and it's just a bad time. I dont take care of my hair enough to have playing with my hair be a valid stim. Its invalid and it should feel bad.

Crushing things! Like water bottles and cans, I love crinkly plastic and metal noise and it's a great texture too.

I think that's the most of them! I just, got really excited to tell you guys all about it and how I stim and!!!!!!!

#fe rambles #tw cursing #tw swearing #tw blood mention #adhd #actually adhd #adhd stims #stims #stim list

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tendouthighs · 4 years

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I actually can’t wait to finish my not-so-potential Kuroo smau fic because I’m vvv excited about it 🥺

The only reason I haven’t posted it straight away is because I don’t have a solid plot and am just making up stuff as I go along- ideas come to my head random and I get burst of random motivation and I’m like ✨👁👄👁✨ y e s

And I know for a fact I could update it twice within the week or once within two months-

Do be patient w me please 🥺 or would ya’ll prefer that?? I wanted to post the first chapter when I had finished everything so I could keep an update schedule ect, because I can be v unproductive and v unmotivated and I procrastinate a lot-

But then if I posted it now ya’ll would have up to chapter 3 and then y’all will have to wait who knows how long + left on a cliff hanger ish part until I feel that motivation and idea hit for what to do??

Hhhhhh I really don’t know :(

#TTtalks #mini rant-#it would be appreciated if ya’ll could help me a lil 🥺#it’s fine if not-#potential kuroo smau #hq smau #send me asks please 🥺#requests are needed-#🥺👉👈

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yeoldontknow · 5 years

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Again (M)

Author’s Note: a kofi request for @gingersaysjump who wanted ‘boyfriend min reminding me my brain is not broken, that i am not merely the sum of my accomplishments, and hot mindblowing sex.’ i hope this fits the bill, i kind of changed the sex part because it felt vvv important for it to merely be female receiving so! hope this is ok! Pairing: Minseok x Reader (oc; female) Genre: fluff; angst; smut; au Summary: Anxiety holds us the strongest in the night. You know this. You are used to it. You think you’re pretty good at hiding these things from the people you love most. Your boyfriend is here to remind you, you are not. And, that being vulnerable is almost always synonymous with strength. Rating: NC-17 Warnings: explicit sexual situations; explicit language; oral sex (female receiving, male giving); anxiety; aggressive thoughts directed @ self Word count: 6,771

It is the first time you have been unable to sleep with him beside you.

Tucked beneath the blankets, Minseok sleeps, lips set in a small pout and pushed forward from the angle of his cheek against the pillow. His hand lingers at the border between your side and his, expectant and ready for your skin. Almost imperceptibly, his fingers twitch, needy and disappointed by the unbearable lack of you.

Normally, your body finds his automatically, pulled towards him like gravity. Normally, the sound of his breath against your neck, your shoulder, your hair, sets an even rhythm for your lungs, pulling you heart first to exhaustion. Normally, he is your balm against the world and nothing, and no one, has ever soothed you so completely.

It is the first time you can’t sleep with him beside you.

And it is this, the fact that you are restless even amidst his warmth, that upsets you most. Because this, whatever weight and trauma that lingers in the fibers of your muscles, is not about him. Yet still, it churns inside you, curving your spine until you are small and pushing yourself away, terrified of watching it spread and burn him too. A chasm has formed within the bed, staining the sheets and the mattress, tarnishing even him - the one thing you wanted to keep sacred.

Knees pushed up to your chest, you consider the way your mind hurts. There’s a loudness to the way you judge, critique, and antagonize yourself. Sometimes, you can convince yourself it’s for the betterment of your skills, that pushing yourself is what makes you a fierce competitor - someone worth working and partnering with. Sometimes, you remind yourself you deserve it, because the inherent wrongness of you and your actions never matches the way you envision yourself. Delusional, you think, how you ever could have imagined you would be the best - at anything.

Sighing, you reach for your headphones on the nightstand, plugging them into your phone. Your eyes don’t squint at the brightness of the screen, having stared endlessly at the light of the full moon beyond your window. Your neck hurts, and so do your eyes, mostly on the right side and mostly underneath your cheeks, where bags have formed diligently over the last few weeks.

Guided meditation is supposed to help. You don’t remember who told you this. Following along, a deep inhale makes you want to cough, but you hold it in, struggling in the effort of remaining quiet so as not to wake him. The guide counts out the seconds, tone gentle and encouraging, as if the moments you are aware you exist are bearable and weightless. Frustrating. You hate it. Closing the video, you open the app that’s meant to help you sleep. Rain sounds on leaves play as white noise, frustrating, too, the way the sound does not match the weather outside. Thunder rolls. You feel like you may have to pee. Annoying.

Heaving a sigh, you remove your headphones and put your phone to sleep, jealous that it does so obediently, and with little persuasion. You close your eyes and run your hands through your hair, grinding your teeth against your tongue as your mind rattles, stubborn and relentless.

You knew how to answer the question in the meeting, but still you hesitated and they all saw your ignorance - the insecurity of it all, you’re better than that. Minseok saw you blink too long, forgetting the order of making coffee when it should be thoughtless, automatic.

Your presentation at work was underprepared - you had so much time to work on it, and that’s all you could manage?

He doesn’t love you, you’re just comfortable. You’re a fun past time, not a forever. You owe so much money on your credit card, you will never pay it off. Do you hear all this? You are worthless. Worthless. Worthless.

‘Worthless.’

It spills over your lips, a wet whisper of malcontent that wracks your chest with an uneven, suppressed sob. Fingers tightening in your hair, you press the base of your palms into the side of your head, hoping for silence. It’s too late at night for this kind of shit, you tell yourself. Too late at night and too early in the morning to think any sleep you could come by would be restorative.

‘Worthless, useless idiot.’

You’re stronger than this, and you have been through this before. All you have to do is make it an hour, maybe even ninety minutes, and this will pass enough for you to be over it, to tell yourself confidently to be quiet, to go to sleep, and to worry about it in the daylight when the aggression is a little less loud.

‘You’re better than this. Don’t be so weak.’

Abruptly, a hand snakes beneath your shirt, pads of delicate fingers stroking gently and languidly at your side. With a small gasp, you turn and face Minseok, greeted by his eyes glittering in the moonlight. Resting his head on his elbow, he leans on his side and smiles, soft and passive, pressing mindless patterns into your skin. Hair falls into his eyes, messy and tousled from sleep, stopping your heart long enough to catch your breath.

You hold onto his arm, relishing the mindless relief that comes from touching him. Your thumb mirrors the patterns he makes, luxuriating in the supple skin at the crook of his elbow. ‘Did I wake you baby?’

‘Yes,’ he whispers, though his tone does not demand an apology. He simply continues to smile, glad to be sharing these hours of the night with you. ‘How long have you been up?’

Your gaze moves from his face to the wall behind him, staring blankly at the empty expanse of white. ‘I don’t know,’ you shrug.

Sitting up, he crosses his legs and removes his hand from your side, pushing himself closer to you. Almost instantly, his warmth radiates into you, relaxing the muscles of your spine and shoulders. Wrapping your arms around your knees, you hum as your stumble into comfort, always surprised by the effect he has on you.

Minseok walks his hand over your lower back, pulling you flush against him and pressing a kiss to the crown of your head. ‘If we’re going to get married,’ he begins, voice thick with sleep, ‘you have to let me up there from time to time.’

Glancing down to your left hand, your vision refocuses as your engagement ring catches the light, glimmering with pride. Proof. Undeniable proof. Your finger twitches, feeling the weight of the band against your knuckle, a tangible weighted experience that functions as a tether. Turning back to him - to his kind eyes and his encouraging closeness - you frown apologetically.

‘I don’t want you to be entangled in all of my shit.’ The words come out cold, matter of fact in a way that sounds clinical. Instinctively you nuzzle closer, hoping that a knowing, if not comfortable, silence is enough.

Humming in consideration, Minseok clinches closer until there is no space between your ribs and his. Languidly, he inhales the scent of your hair deep into his lungs, lips curled in pleasure. He holds it in his chest momentarily, refusing to exhale the essence of you, before chucking quietly as he presses a kiss to your temple.

‘I asked to be entangled around the time I asked you to move in,’ he clarifies, lips shaping the words against your hair.

Glancing back your knees, you smile, knowing well that it is neither genuine nor heartfelt. Ashamed of letting him see the emptiness of you, you turn your attention to your knees, choosing offer their imperfections your attention. Dissatisfied, Minseok nudges you sweetly and continues.

‘Which, by the way, was before I asked you to be my wife.’ Minseok accentuates the word wife by guiding his nose along your cheekbone. ‘But if we’re talking about entanglement, then I demanded it when I got down on one knee.’

He pulls his hands away, leaving you wanting and craving as a small whine escapes your chest from the sudden lack of contact. It dies swiftly, relief flooding your synapses as he cups your face, palms hot and hold confident, turning your face until your vision is flooded with nothing but him. The change in his expression is startling, jaw locked and brow furrowed, eyes more serious than you could ever remember them being.

‘I want to fight for you.’

His sincerity is overwhelming, the conviction of his words running your tongue dry. He means it, means it down the marrow of his bones, and this sort of intensity feels terribly heavy for this hour of the night. In contrast to the heaviness of your mind, his words have a colour and a flavor which kiss adrenaline into your system - exciting, rather than burdening, your blood.

Beneath the fire of his request, it almost feels childish to speak.

‘It’s stupid,’ you say, offering him a grateful, yet sheepish, smile. ‘A lot of it is so stupid.’

‘Don’t be so dismissive,’ he counters, awake and alert. ‘Say it out loud.’ His gaze wanders over your face, taking you in freely. He studies the chapped texture of your lips, the droop that lives at the corner of your eyes, and the exhaustion that lingers within your pores. ‘Sometimes you have to say it in order to hear how truly stupid it is.’

Minseok finishes speaking with a harshness and an urgency that tastes bitter, an announcement that he knows. Minseok knows you, and knows you well enough to hold the judgement you cast over yourself at the same time he holds you, and with the same confidence. He knows you - knows that you often think of yourself as a summation of wrongness, incorrect parts stitched together in the effort of making a person. And he knows, most of all, that when given the option to open yourself wide alongside the option of pushing yourself away until you are small enough to no longer appear wrong, then you will choose the latter, even if he is the one asking to kiss your stitches.

The breath in your lungs trembles, and you swallow thickly, studying his face and accepting that you love him without letting the questions in. ‘Not all of it is stupid,’ you concede, brow furrowed in the effort of keeping your voice even.

‘I know,’ he says, voice soothing and calm, unsurprised by the implication. ‘Start with the actual stupid things first.’ Bringing his hands to your arms, he massages the tension he finds with slow, languid movements. ‘We can do down the list.’

This is not the first time he has done this - held you through your panic and demanded to be let in. This is not the first time you have told him what keeps you awake at night, letting yourself be held and letting yourself be nurtured. And it is because this is not the first time he has done this, not the first time you have woken him in the night and been needy, frail and weak, you idly wonder if you deserve this at all - if you deserve it again.

In your silence, Minseok lets his hand trace circles on your knee, focusing his attention on you so intently your chest begins to flush.

‘Baby,’ he encourages, dropping another kiss to your head with a gentle touch.

Biting your lip, you nod, gathering the strength to feel ridiculous in front of the only man you’ve ever loved, hoping that your contemptuous blush is not visible at this angle.

‘That pitch I worked on for the difficult client?’ You say the words slowly, testing his memory of the weeks you spent awake late at night, often until the first streaks of dawn, eyes blurring against the glow of a computer screen; the nights he slept on the couch beside you, keeping you company, choosing to be uncomfortable rather than separated.

Minsok hums, nodding his head slightly in acknowledgement as he kisses at your temple once more.

‘I keep thinking about how it could have been better,’ you admit in a rush, staring straight ahead without truly seeing at all. ‘There was…so much I could have done better.’

Minseok shrugs, neither nonchalant nor apathetic, just accepting of the flow of time. ‘Everything could have been better,’ he muses, pulling away slightly to fix you with a compassionate stare. Your cheeks flood with heat beneath his gaze, aware and wanting and alive, but still you do not look at him. ‘Besides,’ he continues, ‘that client chose your pitch. No harm no foul. And your next presentation will be better than this one. People are always improving. You’re your only competition.’

‘I hesitated,’ you continue, not bothering to stop and talk through his advice. ‘At work - in the boardroom - there was an important question about marketing projections and I...I paused.’

‘Why did you pause?’

‘Because I thought I was wrong.’ Frustrated with the memory, your hands fist in the flannel of your pants, brow furrowing with tension. You continue speaking so that your mind cannot. ‘No one else was speaking or answering.’

He releases a noise of pride and understanding, a bewildering sound that almost makes you face him, but you remain still. To see him is to break, to be slowly unmade from the inside, and you are not ready for such a display of weakness. Not yet.

‘No one else is as brave as you,’ he says, words kissed full of adoration and affection.

You cannot stomach them, shaking your head as you recall everyone’s stone faced expression in your silence and the way the room hummed, expecting you to keep up. ‘They think I’m stupid.’

‘You are absolutely not stupid.’ It’s the loudest he’s been all night, shaking you gently as though to pull through from your skin. ‘Especially not if you were right.’

You shake your ahead again. ‘Then they think I’m a know it all, and that’s somehow worse.’

Again, he shrugs, not budging on his argument. ‘Well you do know more than them,’ he persists. ‘It’s their fault they don’t bother to be better or try harder.’

‘I forgot how to make coffee.’

He stiffens, startled by the abrupt way you nearly cut him off. It’s not that it’s horrible, not even something worth mentioning, it’s merely that he’s seen you, in a single moment of weakness, forgetting what it means to be a functional person. And then, he saw the aftermath, the pure moment of rage and cursing, brief but just as cataclysmic as a thunderstorm; a violent display you never wanted him to witness, something he never deserved. You are better than this, you told yourself - are <i>still</i> telling yourself - and he deserves more.

But Minseok laughs, confused and uncertain, humoured by the insignificance of such a statement. ‘What?’ he questions through his laughter. He means it to be a comfort, an acknowledgement that this kind of worry is unimportant, and ranked among others simply because it is a thing to do. You almost agree, almost laugh with him, but you remember, with a grimace, how his eyes on you as you struggled with the filter made your hands shake and your nerves hurt.

‘Three days ago,’ you state, voice almost robotic. Briefly, you bite at your cheek, fighting off the urge to face him. ‘In the morning. I couldn’t remember how to fill the machine. You were watching me.’

Sucking air between his teeth, he shakes his head. ‘Admiring is the word you were looking for.’ His hands strokes at your hair, hand pressing at the base of your neck and squeezing in a light massage. ‘Once, I put salt instead of sugar into my coffee and nearly passed out at work from the lack of caffeine. It was undrinkable.’

The memory of that day springs to mind, though you were not involved - you didn’t even know him. He’s told you, many times - during nights like these, when your mind presses at your skull and forces you to see and see and see; mornings when he makes coffee and you remain in bed, post orgasm and unwilling to leave; when he’s drunk, telling the story over and over as though it were unbelievable, as though it were improbable he would ever forget.

And so you smile, finally, cheeks stinging with the sincerity of it, and lean your head on his shoulder. You hope that this is enough for your mind. You know that it isn’t.

‘Any other stupid things we can laugh at?’ Minseok cradles you close, wrapping you in his arms with a force that reminds you that you are his - you are his and you matter.

‘No.’ Closing your eyes, you luxuriate in the feeling of him, wishing that things could stay quiet like this - this pure moment when there is nothing but him, his cologne, the detergent on his shirt, and the strength in his hands. Nothing in life is ever that simple, but still, you wish.

‘Then tell me what’s really wrong.’

You squeeze your eyes together, thoughts racing and warring together as you struggle to decide. It’s easy to stay silent, gripped by the cruelty of your mind because you are used to it. You know the ins and outs of you, the ugliness and the insensitivity. You’re practiced in handling yourself, and you know how the night will go if you remain quiet.

You will not sleep, but he will. You will greet the dawn with the same vacant expression as you met the moon, and he will wake, knowing without questioning, letting you slip through the day burdened by one more measure of guilt. But you will go to work, and you will appear normal and fine, and successful, and no one will question the hollow angle of your cheeks. You are used to this. This is comfortable.

But if you tell him, if you truly express the most important worries of all - the things that cannot be solved, that truly showcase the problem of you, then he will know. He will know, and there will be change, and he will never look at you with the same unfettered tenderness again. You will be pulled open, chest raw in the exposure of your beating heart - the blackened brown of the muscle that has suffered through the severity of your existence. He will see it, the entire truth, the sheer horror of you, and he will know. And nothing, not even the hold of his hands, will ever feel the same.

But he will have the option choose - to stay, to leave, to help, to ignore - it does not matter, he will get to choose. And he deserves that, you think. So you speak, for him if not for yourself.

‘I…’ Your voice trails off, attempting to fail and back down so soon after your tongue held bravery. Taking a deep breath, you begin again. ‘I don’t know how to pay off my credit card.’ Keeping your eyes closed, you wait in the blackness and the silence, waiting for him to release you. He does not. ‘Money is...I don’t make enough. Rent takes so much of it and other bills and the wedding, I just…’ You pause again, and still he does not let go. ‘There has to be more to living than what I owe.’

Minseok does not let go. He simply breathes, even and calm as though you said nothing at all, and strengthens his hold. ‘A lot of people struggle with money, baby.’ Burying his face in the crook of your neck, he kisses the skin he finds, the heat of his breath raising gooseflesh along your arms. ‘You’re not alone there. I know it’s rough, really fucking rough. I mean, me, too,’ he laughs, sheepish. ‘It’s why we’re taking our time with planning the wedding, so we can do it right without regretting it. But we can make a budget, if you’re very stressed about it.’

Beneath the practicality of his words lies the ardor that he carries for you, a genuine, real life concern that turns his words from advice to unwavering support and devotion. The air in your lungs begins to ache, chest burning with emotion as he continues to hold you, body rocked back and forth to soothe you. It’s a shameful thing to admit, but trust was never an issue. You would have told him, soon and likely during dinner, wanting to work with him to build a life and a plan. Something about that, you think, is romantic beyond compare.

But his response, this kind of commitment and dedication, is what you fear losing most. Because even these, these common, human woes about money, and finances, and comparison to an arbitrary credit score, are not the worst thought you have had.

‘This is the kind of thing you can always tell me, should tell me, my love,’ he whispers, kissing and kissing until his words are difficult to comprehend. ‘We’re sharing a life together, not just a bed.’

The tears spill, hot and heavy on your cheeks, though you don’t know when you had started to cry, imagining they should dissolve off your skin from the heat beneath your skin. Your chest burns, oxygen becoming coal as you struggle to keep calm and to not let him see. Fisting your hands in your sweater, you furrow your brow and attempt to keep still, trembling instead with the effort.

‘Hey,’ he whispers, shock hurrying his motions to turn you. ‘I didn’t know it was causing you so much stress.’

He shifts, angling your waist so you are facing him, distancing his torso from yours. Hugging yourself, you open your eyes and stare at his knees, covered by pajama pants that match yours. You’d scoffed when he purchased them, calling him a big softie and asking if you were truly that kind of couple. Now, the sight eases your breath, makes it easier to speak though the tears still flow.

‘It wasn’t,’ you stutter. ‘That’s not it.’

‘Something else?’

Pressing the base of your palms into your eyes, you lean forward until your forehead rests against his chest. From this angle, the distant beat of his heart keeps time and restructures the pattern of your breath. After a moment, you nod.

Walking his fingers down your spine, he rubs and presses against your back, drawing lazy, consoling circles with his palms. ‘Tell me.’

‘It’s terrible,’ you admit, whispering in the hopes that he will not hear you. ‘It’s so terrible.’

He shuffles closer, pulling you into his lap so that your legs rest on either side of his waist. ‘Then let me get my hands on it. I’ll break it for hurting you.’

Hugging him tightly, you shake your head, grasping him tightly to keep him close. ‘I can’t.’

He curls into you, fiercely protective in the way he lets you cling to him, and smiles into your hair. Briefly, you wear him like a crown, letting his warmth radiate deep into your soul, reveling in the knowledge that he is treasure. Somehow, you found treasure and learned how to hold it, and it somehow learned to hold you, though you cannot fathom that it would want to. It does, he does, and he clings to you much the same way you cling to him - with all of himself, and nothing left behind.

Moving his hand from your back, he places his fingers beneath your chin and tilts your gaze to his. Biting your lip, you try to look away and wipe your eyes, but he hums in disapproval, keeping you still as his other hand wipes your tears. He handles you with a delicate touch, as though you are a thing worth protecting, as though you are fragile and sacred and worthy. And when you are clean, he kisses you, sanctifying you and marking your thoughts, your words, your everything as holy.

Pulling back, he fixes you with a confident expression, strength lingering deep within his irises, holding you close and holding you to your word. ‘I can take it.’

There’s something so ethereal about him, about the way the moonlight plays with the pink smeared across his cheeks; the way he breathes, silent and dignified, through parted lips set in a concerned pout; the way he is there, everywhere, all around and all over you, without truly being there at all. He clings to you, but still you see his presence, this love, as something transient. And you know it is your mind that tells you this, not your heart, but beautiful things were never truly meant to be contained, and you feel almost cruel keeping him here, with you, his most devoted admirer.

Minseok holds your gaze, refusing to look away and refusing to let this slide. Wide awake, sleep will not come for him, not until it claims you too.

Releasing a shaking breath, you lower your eyes, ashamed. Saying it out loud hurts, hurts in the crevices at the back of your throat and makes your chest become tight, constricting the air needed to speak. It is a bloodthirsty, brutal thought, the kind that leaves stains on a person’s perspective. Choosing to give it shape makes your lips feel dry enough they could bleed.

‘You don’t really love me,’ you state, voice devoid of emotion, hollowed by the cruelty of it. ‘You’re settling for me. Until your great love comes along, and will be just as easy for you to love another person.’

In the aftermath, you simply wait. Wait for the relief that your therapist promises will come when giving voice to your anxieties, telling someone who claims they can, or want, to help. Wait for the release of Minseok’s hold, and the shutting of doors, the deafening silence that comes from being left. Wait for his nod of understanding and his announcement that you are right - because Minseok is many things, but he is not a liar. He offered to help. He meant it. And if you said something true, he would tell you.

Instead, he cocks his head back until the full length of his neck is exposed and he laughs. Boisterous and loud, he laughs and laughs, until his voice cracks, gasping for breath as the sound resonates off the ceiling in an echo.

Eyes searching him for answers, you furrow your brow, bewildered. ‘Why are you laughing?’

‘Because,’ he begins, smoothing your hair with the flat of his palms, ‘I asked if you had any other stupid shit for me to break down, and this is the most absurd one of all.’

It doesn’t click. Not really. Mind racing, you continue to search his face, brain attempting to catch up with him. ‘But I’m serious,’ you try, hoping he understands how very severe this is, or was.

Shifting so that he kneels before you, Minseok smiles as though he is greeting the sun - wide and affected and warmed by the very existence of you. ‘I live in a constant obsession with your mind.’ Leaning down to kiss your head, his motions are excited, purposeful. ‘It’s faster than mine could ever be. It doesn’t run or jump to conclusions, it just already knows the right answers. It’s funny - so funny, I can’t believe how sharp your wit is. And it says some of the most powerful, wonderful things I have ever heard in my life.’ Pressing a sound kiss to your lips, he silences himself. Sucking on your bottom lip, he hums in pleasure while your eyes remain open wide, witnessing the way he adores you. ‘Fuck,’ he moans, pulling away from you, ‘it decided, over your heart, that it loves me.’

The sensation of his lips on yours lingers, long and tingling, after he has parted from you. Lifting a finger to the skin, you press against your bottom lip, holding to feel him, to understand him. It feels impossible, all these compliments and confessions amounting to the summation of a person you don’t remember being, not truly. Objectively, there is honesty, but at your heart - your heart which races ahead of itself to be near and connected with him - there is dissonance.

Opening your mouth to protest, you lean forward, only to be silenced by Minseok’s fingers meeting your own at your lip, twining together in a tight hold.

‘No, baby.’ He shakes his head, impassioned. ‘I know you listen to your mind more than your heart. You wouldn’t be here if your brain didn’t think I was right, or safe, or important, or worthy.’

Gripping your hips, he flips you onto your back, smirking down at your startled, mystified expression as he settles between your parted legs. Your hands clutch him, mind going blank as your blood begins to race, holding him flush against you and ensuring he does not leave. And even for the sudden change in position, the sudden difference of it all, he still handles you with the same care he would offer something sacred - holding it tight, keeping it near, and holding it impossibly close.

‘But your brain is so violent when it comes to you,’ he murmurs, burying his face into your neck. You feel his teeth first, expecting a bite and readying for the pain, thinking it would settle you, snap you back to reality, but he replaces his teeth with his lips, kissing and kissing and kissing. ‘How dare it say such a thing without asking me my thoughts.’ The warm wetness of his tongue licks at your skin, and you feel him smile as a shiver runs through you, electric. ‘Your brain is powerful and brilliant, but it is so, so fantastically silly.’

He moves away from your neck, gliding down to press his nose in the space between your breasts, unconcerned with the threadbare state of your old shirt, your lack of a bra, your lack of effort to be next to him. Minseok doesn’t seem to mind, simply breathes down and deep, grinding his hips against yours as he exhales and you card your hands through his hair, wanting to argue but unsure where the words have gone.

‘I love you, every fierce and beautiful and violent part of you.’ Still, he moves lower, raising his head to meet your gaze, eyes black with desire. You rub your knee along his side, toes curling as he smirks, impishly. ‘Do you have any idea how incredibly lucky I am? That all of you chose to be mine?’ His hands grip the waistband of your pants, tugging gently to expose your hips. Briefly, he stills, transfixed, before dropping a kiss to your hip, nipping softly enough to make you gasp.

‘That’s the incredible thing about you - up.’ He stops speaking, tapping at your side and signaling to lift your hips. Lifting them, he glides your pants and underwear down your legs, tossing them to the side of the bed.

You didn’t know the night was going to go this way, the sudden shift in energy and attitude leaving your brain empty and beholden to the response of your body. At your core, you feel the warmth of his closeness mixing with the cool night air, and you tremble, realizing, somehow, you have grown wet. There is an absence of him, within and all over you, and without your mind to protest all your body can do is crave.

It’s unlike you to become so needy, but his voice and his hands and the intoxicating solidness of him melts you, and you feel yourself begin to drip and ache for him.

‘You listen to your brain over your heart,’ he continues, voice dropping to a graveled whisper as he settles between your legs. ‘You made a choice - a conscious, dedicated choice to let me in, to love me, to let me be your husband.’ Massaging your left leg, he presses a kiss to the inside of your right thigh, nipping gently at the sensitive skin. You gasp in pleasure, rolling your hips upward to coax him closer. ‘I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that you will never walk away from me. Do you have any clue how safe that makes me feel?’

Between your legs, he fixes you with an adoring, powerful stare, one that would ruin this mood, this moment, if he weren’t so flushed with lust. Somehow, he’s let himself become drunk on you, breath heavy in his chest and hands firm on your legs, keeping them spread wide. And it hits you, with the same impact as the sight of his tongue licking at his bottom lip in thirst, that he means to make you feel craved.

‘Once you choose something,’ he says, the husk in his voice making your eyes flutter, ‘you never waver. You let that choice define a part of you - you let me become part a of you.’

To prove his point, he lowers his mouth, keeping his eyes on yours as best he can, and licks at your mound, grazing gently at your clit before rising up, proud. Fingers digging into the mattress, you move your lips to speak, but no sound comes.

‘I love your mind.’ Minseok smiles, voice thick and purposeful. ‘But tonight, let me love your heart. Let me show you how to forget. Let me worship you.’

Minseok breathes deep once more, letting the full flood of your arousal cascade down his throat through his nose and open mouth. He moans, the deep tenor of his voice washing over you in waves, but you keep your eyes open, wanting to see.

‘God,’ he whines, voice thick and barely audible. ‘You smell like heaven.’

It’s the last thing he says, the last thing he can manage, before he lets the last bit of his control come undone. Tracing one finger over your slit, he gathers the wetness that has pooled between your lips without moving to taste you. Instead, he adds a second finger, tracing and tracing with the slightest of pressures, transfixed by the way you move beneath him, silent requesting more. You think you might go insane, driven to the brink of existence by your mind and now, driven to a desire that builds and builds, getting you wet and keeping you hot.

A whine erupts from your chest, frustrated, and you see him smile before, slowly, almost too slowly, he presses his fingers into your core and dives, mouth first, onto your folds and presses his tongue between his fingers. Your back arches off the bed, eyes wide open towards the ceiling and vision filled with nothing at all as your voice reverberates around the room. Between your legs, he laughs, the deep vibration rumbling through you, and your head presses back against the pillow.

He sets a steady rhythm, one that never quite speeds up when you feel like it should, and you know he means to make this last. It takes work keeping your hips on the bed, and he senses your impatience for speed, for roughness, for anything other than the even pace of his fingers knuckle deep alongside his tongue thrusting with care. His free hand leaves your thighs, voice grumbling in warning not to move, as he presses against your hip, keeping you still.

You could ride his face, make a mess of him, demand speed or pain or the ache you know his fingers could deliver with one powerful curl, but you obey, letting the sweat build at your chest. Once more, you card a hand through his hair, luxuriating in the strands while your free hand clutches the sheets to let him keep control, and he purrs at the touch, the sound and the feel of him so deep inside you making you call his name.

It’s this sound that seems to invigorate him, speeding up his tongue as though called to action and making his name spill from your lips once more. On one thrust, he curls his fingers, adding a third at the same time he removes his tongue, and you release a strangled sound, torn between grieving the loss of the thickness of his tongue and celebrating the solidity of his finger.

Vision blurred and moonlight fading behind a passing cloud, you can’t really see him, only the glimmers of your wetness on his mouth and cheeks. It’s sinful, the shadow and edgeless shape of him, but he reminds you he’s fully there, and fully yours, by pressing his mouth against your clit and sucking a scream from deep within your soul. Curling his fingers once more, he rolls his tongue over your in a messy circle, and your restraint burns away, frayed to nothingness by the magic of his mouth.

Thrusting against his face, your orgasm builds, coiling in your belly and turning your rhythm erratic. You’ve been holding back, keeping yourself as still as possible to let him do the work, but with your skin growing tight, the clench of your walls increases, attempting to keep him inside for as long as possible. With every thrust outward, you whimper, mourning the infinitesimal seconds you are empty and not entirely full of him. Lips dry, you cry out, feeling him speed up just enough that the glimmers of your orgasm suddenly bloom behind your eyes.

‘Come for me,’ he says, pulling off your clit briefly. ‘Let me taste you, feel you come for me.’

Pressing his tongue back between your folds, he exchanges the pressure on your clit with circles of his thumb, strong and demanding and swift. You feel the sun burn and glow from within you, erupting beneath your skin as the tension in your thighs builds enough that they are shaking. Momentarily, between the rush of blood in your ears, you can hear yourself whining, high pitched noises mixed with his name - shattered and incomplete - as he stills, save for his tongue and thumb, and lets your ride his face to completion.

‘Min -’ you whimper, rolling against his mouth and gasping for breath.

He smiles as you come, trembling and shuddering, clenching your walls against his tongue. Both hands drop to his head pressing him harder against you, as your body quakes, erupting against him with a white hot glow of pleasure. It rolls through you, over and over, melting the tension in your back, shoulders, neck, until you are weightless and limp, shaking with the aftermath as you struggle to catch your breath.

You don’t feel him part from you, don’t even feel him crawl up the bed beside you until he pulls you close against him, lips kissing at your neck, shoulder, and cheek as your come down. He hums softly, the sound your fixate on as your breathing returns to normal, eyes closed with heaviness as you put yourself back together. With his hand over your waist, his breath against your skin, you know you could sleep like this, and for this, you are grateful. But his erection presses against your hip, and this is what opens your eyes, brow furrowed in apology.

Wordlessly, you begin to turn over, hands reaching for his pajama bottoms, but he catches your wrist, stopping you.

‘No,’ he says, sweetly, pressing a kiss to your forehead. ‘Tonight was about you. I just want you to know…’

Studying him, you watch a small blush that creeps into his cheeks and suppress a giggle, wondering what could make him blush after you nearly suffocated him between your legs.

‘I know I can’t live without you,’ he manages, eyes warm and alive, but terribly serious. ‘The next time your mind tells you I’m waiting for someone else, remind it that I spent my whole life waiting for you. Even if you move on from me, and find the one or another one, you’re my one. I am hopelessly, impossibly in love with you, and it won’t happen this way for me again, ever.’

Tears well up in your eyes once more, and rather than speak, you simply settle against his chest, clutching at whatever part of him you can find. You don’t know when you became this way, unsteady in your emotions, and so free with tears, fears, and all the ugly in between. But you know it’s because of him. Because he chose you. Because he decided to love you.

And because, with him, being vulnerable means falling in love. Again.

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