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#each chapter is a different ship
delicris · 11 months
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snippet tag game!!
ty for the tag @courfee your snippet was heartbreaking and i'm mailing you my medical bills for causing me to slowly rot away because of the angst /lh
anyways, on with the snippet hehe
Maybe he, too, can’t grasp the sense of their situation—this sticky mess they involuntarily ended up in, the twist of fate, the pull of a definite end. A needle and a thread making their way throughout both their hearts, tying them together closely, not caring whether they fit or not. But the world is messed-up enough on its own, making it so they’re halves of each other, peeling their skins off and forcing them to stick; two pieces of an orange in the hands of a little girl who’s eager to taste and drink from the depths. But her mother’s calling. It’s not time yet. And so they end up tossed on a tray, pushed apart after they were forced to intertwine.
feel free to share your snippets if you haven't been tagged and want to share your piece of writing!! i am tagging EVERYONE, i want all the snippets hehe <3
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sophsicle · 1 month
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the sudden urge to write jegulus in couples therapy.
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gabelew · 10 months
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rivan is a hug fiend and bazz suffers the cosequences of being said man best friend i made this like a year ago, in my big bad bazz brigade polycule phase and it's like the one thing i feel comfortable sharing publicly lol
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lazuliquetzal · 11 months
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i want to hear the sports anime manifesto
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Okay short version:
My life was a sports anime for a bit, and watching sports anime makes me nostalgic for those days.
Medium version:
The typical shonen sports anime deals with themes of camaraderie, ambition, and the intersections of camaraderie and ambition, which ALWAYS hits me right in the chest.
I'm not an ambitious person by nature, but--you know that one poem floating around on here, the one about the moth that wants nothing more than to fly into the flame, and how it would be nice to feel that kind of all consuming passion? Yeah, that's the feeling I get from sports anime.
And often, for the Team Sports anime, you'll get characters who have nothing in common except that they Love the Same Thing--a friendship/rivalry/(romance) formed on the basis of a shared interest. That's sweet as hell!
And they're super predictable and low stress for me. Very easy to watch! Total popcorn shows. Also I like listening to people infodump about their passions. Someone loved their Sport so much they wrote a whole-ass story about it, so yeah, eat that shit up.
Long version:
The Socioeconomic Inequalities of High School Sports
In high school, I was on a crappy underfunded soccer team (with a healthy dose of sexism) and due to [sports league division reasons] the schools we played against were almost exclusively private schools.
I cannot describe how existential it is to be wearing a hand-me-down formerly white-turned-disgusting-gray uniform that's at least five years old when playing against a team that gets brand new windbreakers every season.
(If you've read AAB, YES this is where my obsession with the windbreakers comes from.)
(Hilariously, the guys team got windbreakers but we didn't.)
(I am not over the fucking windbreakers.)
But anyway, when you're constantly losing to private schools you get this fucking complex about it.
This should come as no surprise but like. People with the time and resources to practice their Thing get good at their Thing.
Playing pick up soccer at the park is practice. Playing rec league soccer is organized, repeated practice.
Playing competitive club soccer is all of that, plus a coach who knows How To Coach and What The Sport Is, plus you get morale-boosting uniforms and the chance to play with and against other skilled players. So you're exposed to a lot more, and thus, you learn a lot more.
Competitive club soccer is also Expensive. Rich kids get good.
There's a reason why the "Powerhouse School" is a thing in sports anime, because it's a thing in real life. People with leisure time and money get to invest in their sports development, and everyone else gets left behind in the dust. It's basically a microcosm of capitalism.
The underdog sports story is (quite tragically) bootstraps propaganda. All you have to do is be really good and work really hard and have A LOT OF PASSION to get good at your sport! The cream rises to the top! This is a meritocracy! Let's ignore all the other factors that go into an individual's development as an athlete!
(My brother got scouted for club soccer as a kid. He actually went to tryouts and got offered a spot and a scholarship and everything, but there's SO many hidden fees after the initial registration. Uniforms, equipment, travel and accommodation, tournaments, plus like, the time sink, so we never signed him up. And equipment-wise, soccer is one of the cheapest sports you can play--just imagine the price for something like baseball or hockey.)
In sports anime, there is no reform. There is no revolution.
But sports anime isn't really about that. It's about the narratives we create when we convince ourselves that we deserve to win.
(You know what I mean. Every billionaire is convinced they're some sort of heroic underdog. The same exact kind of 'working your way up' narrative.)
Sports anime is like, the uncomplicated power fantasy of playing the game. It's a world where you are rewarded for your hard work, because it's narratively satisfying. It's a world where it's safe to want things, because you have the exact same chances as the private school kids.
I used to be an obnoxiously competitive child. Then I got all my competition beaten out of me by 3 straight years of constant losing in my clownagerie of a high school soccer team (affectionate). I am going to admit that experience made me a better person and I would not trade it for anything, but I also had to like, relearn how to want things. And maybe real life is not as equal opportunity as the world of sports anime, but I think it's good to want things.
Of course, the winner-loser dichotomy makes sense in sports because of the inherent nature of competition, but it doesn't make sense in stuff like society and economics because that's like, competing over the right to live. That's where the capitalism metaphor ends,
Does sports anime actually go into the socioeconomic inequalities of sports? No. Of course not. Giant Killing never got a season 2.
But it is something I think about when I write sports anime fic. Even if it's not the point, it influences my characterization. The ego of a prodigy character in a shitty sports program is different from the ego of a prodigy character in a rich kid sports program. I am obligated to my amateur attempts to capture the complexities of the high school sports environment in my fanfiction because I am fucking insane I had a specific high school sports experience and they do say to write what you know.
#MEG I SWEAR TO YOU I WILL READ TANGERINE AT SOME POINT#I have so many thoughts about sports anime which is tragic because sports anime is not that deep#it is never that deep#part of the reason why I got so sucked into Daiya is because of the powerhouse school setting#and the fact that Eijun was so obviously lost because he never had that kind of organized system before#people give Seidou a lot of shit for 'not helping Eijun' enough but genuinely it's because he has NO CLUE how to reach out#I poured so much brainpower into Eijun's backstory in my brain it's embarrassing as hell#*shaking fanfic authors by the shoulders* YEAH THE CUTTHROAT COMPETION SUCKS BUT YOU DONT FIX IT BY SENDING HIM TO A DIFFERENT SCHOOL#I also am the only person who understands Miyuki Kazuya (exaggeration)#everyone gives him shit for the Nabe thing and look. yes he was wrong.#but I was once in that same exact situation and responded exactly the same way#Daiya no Ace is not about friendship#it's about Ambition#and people tend to make Eijun the sweet sentimental sunshine friendship guy#but he has JUST as much cutthroat ambition as Miyuki#that's why they work. that's why they understand each other#there's a whole essay I could write about Misawa but it's basically just chapter 18 of AAB#anyway if you want to watch a sports anime that does the Healthy Ambition and the Friendship Thing in the most wholesome way possible#watch Haikyuu. it really is the perfect sports anime.#shame the fanfic is 99% ship because the sports aspect of it is SUPER sweet#asks#jumpstrike#I'm answering jumpstrike but Tav I hope you see this too#lazuli talks#sports anime
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sukugojo · 9 months
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different anon here, i came here wanting to clarify something but i saw that your reply took the words out of my mouth HAHAH it's funny seeing some of us shippers sharing the same braincells and having similar opinions. love this small community but i hope it gets bigger (wake tf up people!!! are 15 consecutive canon suspicious homoerotic chapters not enough for people on the international jjk fandom to finally start shipping them?!)
the something being that i don't sense any malicious hateful intent coming from either gojo or sukuna. this is a rare enemies/rivals trope imo. like their whole theme is about teaching love and trying to maybe come to a mutual understanding despite fate cruelly putting them on the opposite sides, as they are really just different sides of the same coin. and that's one of the many reasons why i love this pairing. it's not easy to find a non-toxic enemies/rivals dynamic portrayal in media so i'm glad that jjk is an exception.
p/s: i'm an extremely introverted person so unfortunately i won't have the social battery to continue this conversation, but thanks for reading my ask! i really want to interact more with my people bc yall are lovely and have great tastes but socializing drains me so much
YES YES ANON, they really don't hate each other at all. one thing i was thinking about is how gojo doesn't seem to think of sukuna as this malicious Evil thing that other sorcerers (rightfully) make him out to be. he... really hasn't been shown to harbor any ill feelings towards sukuna, even after all he's done.
and their fight is playful, they're playing, they're having fun, it's recreation. sure the fate of the world is at stake here, but that's not what it's about for them at all.
there's not hate, not even dislike, it's simply. well to steal canon's words. love. an overwhelming sense of pleasure, of satisfaction, of fulfillment.
and i LOVE that u mention "despite fate cruelly putting them on the opposite sides" bc YEAH YEAH, that's part of the tragedy of them. there's too many factors outside their own personal satisfaction at play.
and i think there is also a bit of a paradox in there. they're looking for someone with whom to share that solitude that comes at the lonely top. but... that's something i don't think to be possible. sure they're equals, that's the thing, but at the same time, their existences clash just by definition. bc there can't be two strongest. there can only be one.
both can't live at the same time. if one lives, the other can't live by definition.
no one understands them bc they're the strongest, but once they find someone who might be able to—and who does—dont they stop being the strongest?
#sukugojo.post#(but also scratch all that. we are not gonna think about that bc if either of them die i will be inconsolable they can't fucking die bc tha#would make me. incredibly sad. OTL)#gege should just have them marry each other. why can't they just be TWO strongest why the fuck not. The Strongest husbands.#a true power couple#got kinda sidetracked there haha but yeah! i feel we all just a share a collective braincell that gets passed around hkdfjhsd#'are 15 consecutive canon suspicious homoerotic chapters not enough for people to finally start shipping them?!' SAY ITTTTTTTTTT#and i think what sets them apart is that they're rivals on OPPOSITE sides who are not laden with hate.#bc there's a clear cut good-evil dichotomy. we have the good guys and bad guys who are against each other and whose goal is to stop e/o#sukugo are on opposite sides but still hold no sense of hate or disdain or anything for each other.#there's simply regard and expectation and (i'm sorry for saying it all the fucking time but it's true) love.#dhsjfdfs it's almost like they operate on a completely different plane to the others (which well yeah they kinda do as the strongest)#they don't particularly care about that whole thing.#they only care about their position as strongest and what the other can give them in regards to that#jjk#sukugo#gosuku#u know i mentioned once in a post i made in my main blog how gojo only speaks of sukuna in a cheerful reverent way#which was half just me being shippy but this made me think about that#bc ok that could be said to be simply his way of being BUT we DO see gojo show disdain for people he dislikes. very clearly.#he speaks super ill of the jujutsu world higher ups. but he doesn't ever extend that dislike to sukuna#who's u know. the Embodiment of Evil#while gojo may be an outwardly cheery person when he doesn't like u. u WILL know. he's actually quite honest there#and he shows respect for sukuna. considers it an honor to be sukuna's rival.#(tho he IS still a fucking brat <3)#god sorry i will shut up now cshfhaskdjsakffs#alas!!! it's really alright anon i totally get it. u dont have to answer. that's kinda the great thing about asks haha c:#but if u ever wanna talk more about them well the askbox is always open :D#GONNA END THIS BY SAYIGN THAT I AM SCARED I AM NERVOUS ABOUT THE NEXT CHAPTER AAAHHHHHHHH
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reploidbuddy · 9 months
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Me: So I got this multi-chapter fic right
Brain: Uh-huh
Me: Focuses around Silver and Espio starting as complete strangers with flaws and issues they gotta work on.
Brain: yeye
Me: Like I’m trying to be casual in the writing so I don’t want big world-saving high stakes objectives or like big adventures.
Brain: .....mhm....
Me: So like the fic is gonna have a lot of focus on them talking and bonding and trying to help each other grow
Brain: .......MMMHMMMMMM
Me: But it also feels weird because of the lack of Big Adventure™ and other things I had in other fics, like even if the story grew clear enough to start writing, it feels I don’t even have a genre I can name?? Like even even "adventure" doesn't feel right.
Brain: .
Brain: Romance. Your genre is romance.
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kyouka-supremacy · 10 months
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"#Also rip to the pages that fueled my sskk unrequited love agenda for one years " Oh you're finally done ? Even after you saw the confirmation it was requited I still saw you clinging to it so I'm surprised
Okay I elaborated plenty on my thoughts on unrequited sskk in the last ask but “oh you're finally done with your sskk unrequited love agenda” may as well be the funniest thing anyone has ever said to me. Long story short the anime may have deleted its potential canon basis and the manga may have disproven it in the meantime anyway but I'm taking my unrequited sskk agenda with me to the grave by sheer power of not caring about what canon says
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kkoraki · 4 months
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i wish i were still properly in warrior cats fandom because an excellent AU animation project just got released today & the creator of the AU dropped an epic google doc with the full backstory of the AU in chronological order and there is a MASSIVE random twist (?) casually dropped in the middle of it that is SENDING me and I really want to talk about it with someone
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ghoul-haunted · 7 months
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I do think it's funny that my first chapter note for the Medea chapter was 'Sulla and Crassus fuck each other through other people and discuss theater.' now it's like. the Rome you remember is not the Rome you are returning to. There Is Something Shaped Like A Man In This Room With You And Neither Of You Are Looking At It Because You're Both Too Busy Walking Into It's Mouth. Lucullus and Sulla team up to trap Crassus into reciting the Medea lines.
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amethysttribble · 1 year
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That I’ve already made 1 post being annoyed with the Spy x Family fandom and I could easy make 2 more, is really quite telling
#it’s just everything I hate so much in one fandom:#over abundance of fluff for the sake of fluff (gag) and uninformed attempted at political takes (also gag)#the first one would be-#1) oh my god I didn’t realize how aro I saw Loid and Yor’s relationship until the UwU fluffy ship people got involved#THEIR DEVELOPMENT IS NO WHERE NEAR THAT. IF IT EVER WILL BE#they RESPECT each other and work TOGETHER to create a nice family environment despite their nontypical family and they aren’t in ‘love’ yet#and you really want to strip that all away to go ‘uwu Loid is soooo in love with her as soon as chapter 10’ fuck off#2) (and this one’s the kicker) Are you really pondering the moral difference between the actions#of two people who#are use violent means in order to maintain geopolitical peace so that war doesn’t break out???#and the fucker who hijacked a bus of KINDERGARTNERS to make his political protest???#MAYBE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HOW WE SEE THESE CHARACTERS IS THAT LOID AND YOR DONT KILL CHILDREN!!#you know whose daughter is also dead fuckwit? The Handler. YOU DONT SEE HER TRAUMATIZONG SIX YEAR OLDS#I mean are you even /thinking/ at point?#also#no actually Loid and Yor would not ‘destroy the city for Anya’#they flat out wouldn’t#Loid is a character who cares a LOT about the bigger picture here and specifically about /not making kids cry/#he would never hurt other children; even for Anya’s sake#never#but ESPECIALLY not out of revenge#and the city take is especially in bad taste considering his background#are we even like reading the same manga?#OR have your reality divorced stupid fluffy headcanons rotted your brain?#I know the answer#my god#anyway I hope the Silm friends got a good laugh out of ready my salt for another fandom#NOT tagging this shit#don't mind me#tribble post
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r6shippingdelivery · 2 years
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IT'S CELEBRATION TIME: this is my 100th posted fic!! 🎉 It's wild to think I have written so much, and since my first contribution to the fandom was smut, I thought it fitting that my 100th contribution should be even more smut, lmao. 
It’s gonna be a multichapter affair, but, for this first chapter we have 2.4k words of Smoke/Mute, rated Explicit, ofc.
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not-twst-enough · 1 year
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So in the Ignihyde chapter, are we gonna get OTQKU/GAMER/NERD/INTROVERT YUU plus we’ll wear Pomefiore uni?
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brainrotdotorg · 1 year
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I'm always morbidly curious about AO3 statistics, don't worry I don't plan on reading any of them
extremely fair i am honestly shocked that there arent more
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erythristicbones · 1 year
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for the entire like...almost decade of having TOTLR as a story, ive always imagined it as one long book. but i woke up this morning with the intense urge to rework the outline a bit and now that im looking at it. idk man im starting to think i might like my pacing better if i make it a duology instead?
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unboundprompts · 5 months
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Romantic Prompts
↳ a masterpost for writing prompts with romantic themes.
↳ (#) is from my collection of random prompts, (list) contains multiple prompts.
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If you like what I do and want to support me, please consider buying me a coffee! I also offer editing services and other writing advice on my Ko-fi! Become a member to receive exclusive content, early access, and prioritized writing prompt requests.
I also have a Patreon! Become a member to gain access to a Member's Only Community where you can chat and message other members and myself. Also gain access to my personal writing, which includes completed short stories, chapters from novels in progress, as well as completed scenes.
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Unrequited Love, Reluctant Love, Falling Out of Love Prompts:
Unwanted Love (#3)
Not Good for Each Other (#7)
Not Meant to Be (#9)
Questioning the Validity of Romantic Feelings (list)
Character in Love with Someone Who They Think Hates Them (list)
Couple Fell Out of Love (list)
Controlling Childhood Friend in Love with their "Puppet" (list)
Denial of Romantic Feelings (list)
Requited Love Prompts:
You Would Like That, Wouldn't You? (#31)
Three Good Things (#44)
Trying to Forget You (#45)
The Drawing (#48)
Love Me Today, Love Me Tomorrow (#78)
Anything You Want Me to Be (#78)
Comforting their Lover with Abandonment Issues (list)
Couple Didn't Realize They Were in Love Until Separation (list)
Height Difference Prompts (list)
Subtle Romantic Gestures (list)
Love Confession Prompts:
I Think I'm in Love with You (#51)
Responses to "I Want You" (list)
Responses to "Do You Love Me?" (list)
Responses to "Do You Like Me Too?" (list)
Responses to a Sudden Compliment (list)
Love Confession after an Argument (list)
Being Shocked After a Kiss (list)
Say it to My Face (#131)
Enemies/Rivals to Lovers Prompts:
The Art Thief (#81)
Rivals to Lovers at a Martial Arts Academy (list)
Anxious Character x Careless Character (list)
First Kiss Prompts (list)
One Bed Trope: Morning After Dialogue (list)
Bonding Over Horror Movies and Mystery Books (list)
Blushing Like a Sinner in Chapel (#96)
Rivals Being Shipped Together (list)
Academic Rivals to Lovers (list)
Fantasy Tropes Prompts:
Princess x Their Guard (list)
Princess x Knight (list)
Royal Painter x Knight (list)
Prince x Prince (list)
Immortal x Reincarnated Lover (list)
Immortal x Mortal Lover Reborn (list)
Hero x Civilian (list)
Sci-Fi OTP (list)
Other Specific Tropes Prompts:
Shy/Easily Embarrassed Character Getting Flustered (list)
Country x City Prompts (list)
Amnesia/Childhood Friends (list)
Sunshine Character x Serious Character (list)
Opposite Couples (ex: Always and Never, War and Peace) (list)
Opposite Couples: Sea and Sky (list)
Sarcastic Aloof x Annoying Hothead (list)
Medic x Soldier (list)
Prisoner x Guard (list)
Book-Loving Couple (list)
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elodieunderglass · 2 years
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the first chapter of Moby Dick rewritten in tiresome modern idiom
CHAPTER 1. Loomings.
Call me Ishmael. Some years ago - it's none of your business how many - being mostly broke, and bored with the land part of the world, I thought I would sail around a little and look at the watery part of the world. I'm probably the most mentally healthy person you know. Whenever I feel my face getting grim; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself accidentally reading the ads in the window of funeral homes, and following funeral processions through traffic; and especially when I'm hangry, and only my extremely strong moral principles stop me from deliberately going out in public and methodically slapping people's earbuds out - then I know it's high time to get to sea, ASAP. This is my substitute for getting in fights. I'm too mentally healthy to kill myself; I quietly and considerately put myself on a ship and sail myself away instead. There is nothing surprising in this. Everyone feels exactly the same way, and if they don't, they're lying.
You think I'm lying? Exhibit A: a city. Go to your local coastal city. Everyone is looking at the water. They drive over from other neighborhoods just to come to the water. They make a day of it. They're not doing anything, they're just staring at the ocean. Why? Is it because they all work office jobs? No! Here come more of them! They cram themselves up to the edge of the water and stare at it. WHAT DO THEY WANT? WHAT ARE THEY LOOKING AT. Perhaps the ships themselves all packed together, each one with several compasses on it, creates some kind of critical mass - all of the small compass-magnets on all the ships in the harbor combining into one really big magnetic field - and the people get sucked into the field and trapped there. That's science.
Exhibit 2: the countryside with lakes in it. Every path you follow in the countryside brings you to some water, such as a stream. There is magic in it. If you take your standard fool with ADHD dissociating in the middle of a supermarket and put them outside and give them a shove, they'll automatically lead you to water (if there is any nearby) (try it). Another good experiment to try is to get lost in the great American desert in a caravan supplied with a metaphysical professor! Try it in the great American desert at home!
Yes, as everyone knows, meditation and water are a match made in heaven. Married forever. That's science.
Here's an artist who wants to paint you the dreamiest, most enchanting landscape. What does he put in it? Trees, meadow, cows, a cottage with smoke coming from the chimney, obviously. He will probably put a path in it and make lots of triangular mountains in rows and have them be different shades of blue (naturally.) But there's gotta be a stream in it. Go visit the prairies in June, and wade for forty miles through knee-deep through tiger lilies. What's missing from this picture? Water!
If Niagara Falls was made of sand instead of water, would you travel your thousand miles to see it? Why would a guy given a handful of cash have trouble deciding whether to buy a coat (which he needed) or go to the beach? Why are all the best, healthiest, sexiest and most mentally healthy people obsessed with the sea? (You get me.) When you were first on a boat, did you not succumb to VIBES? Consider ancient Persia. Consider ancient Greece. They understood about vibes, and also gods.
SURELY ALL OF THIS IS NOT WITHOUT MEANING.
And still deeper the meaning of that story of Narcissus, who because he could not grasp the tormenting, mild image he saw in the fountain, plunged into it and was drowned. But that same image, we ourselves see in all rivers and oceans. It is the image of the ungraspable phantom of life; and this is the key to it all! You get me! You understand it now.
Now, when I say that I am in the habit of going to sea whenever I get weird, don't you dare imply that I buy a ticket and get on a boat. I have never had money in my life. How dare you. Anyway I don't go as a passenger - that's bougie, and something boring people do. Passengers never have a good time. And although my C.V. is incredible - I go to sea SO MUCH, you guys, I have lots of experience - I don't go as a boss, or a cook. That sounds like far too much work. Hard work. Disgusting, respectable, bougie, and far too responsible. I can literally only look after myself. Do not ask me to look after ships or shit. In fact, I have only a vague idea of what a ship is. There's so many different kinds of ships - don't get me started and DO NOT GET INVOLVED. Also, I'm allergic to glory.
It's kind of attractive to go as a cook. I mean, I'm allergic to glory and there's some glory attached to the position of the ship's cook, but, like, you're not management-track and so it's still credible. But I don't really want to cook (say) roast chicken. I really fucking love to eat roast chicken. I'm one of the best at doing it actually. I really appreciate when people go out of their way to butter, season, baste and roast a chicken for me. Picture a roast chicken and I am Looking Respectfully at it. Maybe something more, maybe I'm worshipping it. Don't make this weird. If you want to get weird about my relationship with roasted chicken, why aren't you getting weird about the ancient Egyptians? They ate roasted hippos (look it up) and the pyramids were basically pizza ovens. So it's pretty hypocritical to think that I'm being weird about roasted chicken when I've never made mummies out of chickens or built a religious pizza oven dedicated to honoring them: check and mate, haters.
Anyway - I like to go to sea as a manual laborer. A simple sailor. Salt of the earth… er… sea. Yeah, true: as a job it sucks. They make you jump around, order you around, treat you like shit. They expect you to jump around the boat like a grasshopper. And yes, at first, this sucks. It's degrading, especially if you come from a middle-class family. Worse, it's awful if you've already had some kind of professional job before signing on to be the dirt on the boss's boots - like, if you went to college and worked as a teacher and actually got kids to pay attention to you, really feeling this connection to work/teaching/identity or some shit, and now you are just literally the scum on this captain's boots, in the lowest possible job in the world. It hurts! It hurts your dignity. But the hurt, and also the dignity, both wear off in time.
So what if some old bastard sea captain orders me - ME! - to get a broom and sweep down the decks? What does that indignity amount to, compared to the shit in the Bible, compared to the shit in the news, compared to the shit everyone else has to take. Do you think the archangel Gabriel thinks anything the less of me, because I promptly and respectfully obey that old hunks in that particular instance? Who ain’t a slave? Tell me that. We're all just serfs under capitalism, right, so why not just be honest about it: I prefer the honesty. Anyway, however the old sea captains may order me about - slapping and punching of course - I have the satisfaction of knowing that it's the same experience everyone else on Earth has, but more honest. Everyone else in the world is being served the exact same way. Either in a physical or a metaphysical way - sometimes people get the shit beaten out of them in person, sometimes online, sometimes emotionally, it happens to you in EVERY JOB, you sign on to get pushed around and slapped in the teeth: so the point is that when you're a sailor, it's a clean and honest slap. All the workers of the world share the same universal slap to the face that gets passed round, one slap passed all 'round the chain, like paying it forward, but it's a slap; and we should all accept this Universal Slap as the price of living, and then offer each other healing back massages, brother to brother, and slap each other and then kissed the places we slapped, and be happy.
I could examine that but I'm not going to.
Anyway: I always go to sea as a sailor. I've said that already. You're welcome. BUT THE POINT IS, they pay you. If you're a passenger, they don't pay you, at least, not that I've ever heard of [citation needed] (do they pay passengers?? Is there a job I can get where I can be a passenger and get paid?? Look this up.) Yeah so passengers have to pay. And there is all the difference in the world between paying and being paid. The act of paying is perhaps the most uncomfortable infliction that the two orchard thieves entailed upon us. (That's Adam and Eve. You get it.) But BEING PAID. GETTING PAID IS THE BEST. NOTHING COMPARES TO GETTING PAID. EVERYONE LOVES THAT SHIT. Which is surprising, since we also apparently believe that money is the root of all evil, and isn't there something in the bible about "no rich people can get into heaven," right? And yet it's universal, literally everyone loves payday. Ah! How cheerfully we send ourselves to hell.
Finally, I always go to sea as a sailor (I've said this already) because it's FRESH AIR AND EXERCISE. Okay so think about ships. Normally, bosses stand on the "bridge" thing, and because we're sailing a boat, the nose is going into the wind and the butt part of the boat is at the back. That's how wind works. But if you think about it, winds usually go in one direction more than other directions (unless the men have been eating beans and farting: it's Pythagoras, look it up) SO if you're a boss standing on the boss-deck, the wind is blowing FROM the sailors TOWARDS you, and YOU ARE ACTUALLY BREATHING THE AIR THAT SAILORS ALREADY BREATHED. The boss THINKS he breathes it first, but he doesn't. He gets the air at the BACK of the boat and sailors get the air at the FRONT. So it's better to be at the front of the boat (sailor) for health reasons. This is a metaphor for life and work, etc.
But I have smelled the sea lots of times as a paid sailor and WHY I should decide to go on a whaling expedition - ok so you know how there's an invisible police officer of the Fates who has me under constant surveillance, who secretly dogs me, and influences me in some unaccountable way? YOU get me. You know him. "The poor FBI agent tasked with reading my search engine history" YOU GET ME. Anyway, "Ishmael, why, after having a perfectly well-reasoned, and very smart of you, part-time job as a spontaneous random sailor, did you decide to escalate that to joining a WHALING EXPEDITION, which is worse in every way?" Well, ask my fucking secret FBI agent, he can answer better than anyone else. Including me. You get me. Also, obviously, this was predestined, part of the Universe's Grand Programme for its talent show, which was all scheduled way before our time. The concept of sending me on the whaling voyage comes in as a kind of interlude or solo between the main performances of the Universe's great talent show. I bet it was advertised llike,
"PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION OF THE UNITED STATES EMBROILED IN ONGOING LEGAL DISPUTE.
Whaling voyage by some guy called Ishmael.
BLOODY BATTLE IN AFGHANISTAN."
Like a commercial break in between the big acts. A filler episode. Lightens the load for everyone else. Though I can't explain why the stage managers - the Fates - chose such a shitty role for me, a WHALING VOYAGE of all things, when it feels like others were given magnificent parts in high tragedies, and short and easy parts in genteel comedies, and jolly parts in farces - it seems a little unreasonable at first. Why doth Ishmael get shat upon, etc. But then I think about all the circumstances, the plot points and motivations that were cunningly presented to me under various disguises - FBI agents, bouts of random hanger, gay awakenings, you get me - and you can see that actually, I was set up. And worse, between them all, these Fates and Circumstances conspired to make me believe it was all my own choice and good judgment. Is Free Will an illusion? Are my decisions bad? We will NEVER know because I, Ishmael, am just a little guy that the Universe plays head games with.
One of the ways the Universe tricked me into starring in this performance and then mocking me for it was the overwhelming idea of the great whale himself (whaling expeditions usually contain whales.) Such a portentous and mysterious monster roused all my curiosity. Then of course, if you have a whale, you have the wild and distant seas where the whale rolls around with his body-the-size-of-an-island; the dangers and nameless perils of the whale; whales are also found in interesting places I haven't seen; this all tipped me over the edge. Maybe normal people could've resisted, but I am tormented with an everlasting itch for obscurity. I hate everyone else's oceans. I want the forbidden seas.
You know The Horrors? Of course you do. You might be surprised that I, the most mentally healthy person you've ever met, a person who is self-aware enough to go to sea when they're at their fucking limits, a guy who likes fresh air and manual labor and normal things, is familiar with The Horrors. Well, you'd be surprised. I know what's good, I'm an extrovert. But I'm still quick to perceive The Horrors. And how I deal with the horrors is a very extroverted thing: I'm social with them, if they'll let me. It's smart to be on good terms with The Horrors. You should always be on good terms with your permanent neighbors. That's how extroverts deal with The Horrors, and I recommend it.
I think that's enough explanation for why I welcomed the whaling voyage. The great flood-gates of the wonder-world swung open, and in the wild figments of imagination that pushed me into doing it, the whales came marching two by two, hurrah, hurrah. They marched into my innermost soul in endless processions and occupied it, you see, I was quite helpless under this occupation - I consented to the haunting and the whales marched in to haunt me - and amidst them all was one grand shrouded white phantom, like a snowy mountain in the air.
You get it.
You know how it is, with whales.
(read the actual first chapter of Moby Dick here: https://www.gutenberg.org/files/2701/2701-h/2701-h.htm)
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