#ead 2024

[echoofawind]

Happy Evil Author Day!

[chocoholicannanymous]

Evil Author Day #3

February 15th is Evil Author Day - you can read more about it on Jilly James’ site, but in short it’s about posting titles or descriptions or parts of stuff that’s not actually ready for posting, the evil part being that there are no promises what so ever that there will be more.

What I’m posting under the EAD-tag either isn’t finished and might never be, or it could be considered finished only I’m not happy with it.

Either way: Enjoy. Or not.

Follows Doesn't Hurt At All, A Little Hurt (Goes A Long Way) and (It Hurts) To Have To Be This Honest With The One You Love.

Posting this one under the EAD-tag as I have never been able to be satisfied with it.

AN: Timelinewise, Kurt goes to London during the first week of April, Adam returns to England first week (or so) of June, and Kurt sends the first email to Adam beginning of August. This takes place about two weeks or so later.

Love Hurts (When You Do it Right)

Part 4 of Doesn't Hurt At All

Kurt picked up his book, read two paragraphs, then put it down again with a sigh. He'd been repeating that process now for close to twenty minutes. He'd also shredded two napkins, rearranged everything on the small table, and finished half a lemonade.

Being early for this meet-up had probably not been one of his brightest ideas.

Then again, it was possible that the meet-up itself wasn't that bright of an idea.

Kurt swallowed, looked at the time, and considered – for at least the tenth time – if it might not be best to cancel. Just...walk away, send Adam an email about being detained, and then never approach the subject again. He could do that, right? After all, it wasn't as if Adam even knew that Kurt was staying in London for the time being – he'd assumed Kurt was on vacation. (Which, admittedly, had been exactly what Kurt had been aiming at. He'd wanted to reduce the pressure on Adam. Maybe he had, but the pressure on himself? Very much present, and very much too much.)

Four minutes until he was supposed to meet Adam for the first time in nearly six months – for the first time since spooking, and refusing to be in a committed relationship. And see how well that worked, with the running back to Blaine and the getting engaged... Kurt ignored the snide inner voice. He'd messed up, and he'd done so repeatedly, and horribly. To leave now would be another mistake, and that's why he was going to stay, no matter how many butterflies seemed to have taken up residence in his stomach.

The seconds ticked by slowly, and a minute past their agreed upon time Kurt's stomach sank. No Adam. Adam, who never was late. Kurt blinked to avoid the tears that wanted to well up, and gave himself a stern talking to. First of all, he didn't really have any reason to be upset – he'd placed himself, and Adam, in this position on his own – and second, well, public transportation could be tricky. Maybe Adam was simply stuck on the Tube?

Either way, he would wait. He'd finish his lemonade, to begin with, and then reassess.

Twenty-four minutes past the hour saw Kurt out of both lemonade and hope. It didn't look like Adam was showing. Still. He'd give it until half past, and then... Then he'd go back to the apartment and cry into a pint of ice cream or something.

(A Long Island Ice Tea or five sounded tempting, but Kurt had learned by now that alcohol acted as a depressant and thus did not make him feel any better. Quite the opposite. Plus, if he drank when already down... Well. “Stupid” was a kind description of his behavior then.)

“Kurt?”

Oh! Kurt looked up, and was met with Adam's kind face. Looks like maybe I won't need that ice cream. At least not quite yet, he amended after taking a second look – it was obvious from the other man's body language that he wasn't entirely comfortable, or happy, with the situation, and it was as if he'd tried to close the shutters of his usually expressive eyes. Maybe I should make that two pints.

Kurt tried to keep his trepidation from being noticed though, choosing to nod and send a small smile the Brit's way.

“Adam. I'm happy to see you.”

And he really was. No matter the outcome of their meeting, Kurt would be happy – and grateful – that he'd gotten to see the other man again. He wanted to know that Adam was fine, that he'd gotten on with his life even after Kurt had screwed things up. In the end, that knowledge meant even more to Kurt than the possibility of losing some of the guilt he carried over his cowardly actions and the end of their relationship.

“Kurt.” There was a standoffish quality to Adam that Kurt had never seen before, not even when mocked by other students, and his heart ached knowing that he deserved it. “I have to say I was surprised to hear from you, and even more so when you asked to meet up. To be quite honest, up until just now I wasn't sure if I should go through with it.”

The confirmation of his suspicions shouldn't hurt so much, but yet it did. It wasn't anything he hadn't expected, or earned for that matter, but the words still made his heart sink even further in his chest.

“Well, while I understand that – and I really do – I'm happy you came. I know I could have tried to apologize through email, but it didn't feel right. I wanted – no, I needed to actually talk to you. And if you never want to see me again, I'll understand. I'm not going to lie, I want us to stay in touch, I really do, but I am going to respect your wishes here.”

It would be hard, yes, but somehow Kurt suspected all things worthwhile were. Also, considering he'd complained about others not being willing to respect his wishes, well. “Do unto others” and all that, right? Treating others the same way he himself wanted to be treated was a good way to live, Kurt knew, and it was time he did. Adam was a really good place to start.

“Not to be rude, but why should we? I was willing to try that, you know, when you got back with your ex, only I couldn't even get you to look at me. I have absolutely no desire to be someone for you to use when trying put yourself back together again. Once was enough. Actually, no – once was one time too many, but. I'm sure you get my point?”

Yeah, he got it. He got it straight into his bruised and battered heart, alright. But. As much as it hurt, Kurt felt he deserved it – and more, considering how he himself had hurt Adam. Still...

“I do. And you're absolutely right, it shouldn't have happened even once, regardless of how it was never my intention. I never meant to use you, never. I do understand how it looks though, I really do.

“And I don't expect you to be there for me again – I don't expect anything from you. I would love it if we could be friends, or even just friendly, but also know exactly how badly I screwed up. So, as I said, if you never want to talk to me again after today, I promise you that I will respect that. If that's what you want, I will do everything in my power to make sure you never have to see me again.”

And he would, no matter how little he wanted to. Because Adam deserved so much, the least of which was respect. Kurt had failed him too many times when it came to that. He refused to do so again.

“I just... I owe you, Adam. So, so much, for all you gave me. And if you want me to repay that by leaving you alone, then I will. But don't you want closure? To be able to let all that crap go? Because I do. I'm trying to get over it, and heal, but honestly? The past has a way of dragging me down, and I would love to be able to cut that loose, and just live.

“And I think that as long as I feel this guilty over what happened with you that's going to be hard. As for you, well, in your shoes? I'd want to know what the hell happened.”

Adam's mouth twisted into an unhappy, sour grimace for a second, then relaxed again.

“But I already know what happened, don't I? You lied to me, and you used me – intentionally or not, there's no other way I can take what you did – and then you went running back to your ex, like it was all a game to you.”

“It wasn't!”

“But that's what it felt like. You were happy to date me for weeks, months even, but god forbid you commit. Instead you went back home and had sex with the guy who cheated on you. Then you didn't tell me about it, not until Santana basically forced you. And yeah, sure, we weren't exclusive, as much as I wanted to be, but Kurt? Not being exclusive didn't mean it didn't hurt. Because unlike you? I was committed.

“Still, I thought 'okay, he's been burned, he doesn't mean to hurt you, it'll be fine, we'll get through this'. Because you promised me I wasn't your rebound, that you wanted to be over him, and that you wanted to try. And so I trusted you. I trusted you, only to have you go back to Ohio only to come back with an engagement ring. You didn't even have the decency to give me a heads-up, Kurt. I had to find out through others. Hell, I wasn't even lucky enough to hear the gossip. Oh no.

“All those stuck-up brats that only stopped outright mocking me to my face because you pulled rank with them? Yeah, they took great pleasure in informing me about your changed relationship status. Telling me how you'd finally decided to 'get rid of the trash' and such.”

Kurt felt sick to his stomach, not just because of his guilt but also because of the hurt and the venom in Adam's voice. He had a good idea of exactly how nasty some of them had been, and how they'd relished in hurting Adam. And it was all his fault. He'd fucked up, and while he'd certainly paid for it, Adam had suffered just as much.

“I could have dealt with you deciding to break things off with me, Kurt. I wouldn't have liked it, no, but I would have accepted it. But that's not what happened. Instead you just threw me aside, showing me less respect than you do than yesterday's paper. Not only did you start dating someone else, after telling me you weren't ready for a relationship, but you started dating the guy who treated you like crap and who you told me you didn't want to go back to. And to top it all off you agreed to marry him?

“And as if all that wasn't enough, you waited until everyone who cared to bully me had had a go before trying to talk to me yourself.

“You owed me better, Kurt. I don't care that we weren't boyfriends, that we were only dating casually, you still owed me more than that. As someone who was both in love with you and trying to be your friend, I deserved more.”

Kurt swallowed down his tears and his shame, because Adam was right. The way Kurt had acted was so beyond okay it was hard for him to understand why Adam hadn't simply just spat him in the face when Kurt had tried to talk to him – both back then and now.

It was, he acknowledged, a testament of exactly how much of a good guy Adam was.

“You're right. You deserved so, so much more, and the way I acted was deplorable. I owe you so much, the least of which is an explanation. It's just hard finding the right words. It's always been. And all of this, it's going to sound like a bunch of excuses, like me trying to shift the blame of my behavior onto others, I realize that. Just, this is the result of hours of therapy. Because yeah, I needed that.

“I've needed it for years.

“When I left for Lima it was only to be there for my dad. I had absolutely no intention of getting back with Blaine – he wasn't even on my radar. I was planning to come back and keep trying the dating thing with you. We were going somewhere, I thought, and I wanted to see where that was. I wanted to see what we could be. Because I looked at you, and I saw sunshine, and I liked that.

“And then I was back, and everything was closing up on me. Blaine was around from day one, everywhere that wasn't the hospital, and sometimes there too. And he was...familiar, I guess. And I know, that's not an excuse, or even a good explanation, but it's the truth.

“And the longer I was there, the harder it was to see past him. Past the memories connected to everywhere I went, past the memories all over my room, because I hadn't had the heart to clear them out. Past everyone telling me we'd been so good together, that we belonged together, that part of being a couple was forgiving each other for mistakes, on and on.

“Add that both Rachel and Santana, the only ones who knew you, kept comparing you and what we had to Blaine and what I had with him, and making it all negative. Not putting you down, just... Making you sound less. Making our relationship sound like a cheap knockoff, and all emotions between us like a pale copy of what love and passion was supposed to be. And I was enough of an idiot to think that they had a point.”

Adam's face closed off and he started standing up, making Kurt panic.

“Being with you didn't hurt!” he blurted out, terrified that Adam wouldn't let him explain. Then he flushed scarlet, as the people at the next table turned and looked at him.

“Adam, please...”

He blinked back tears as Adam sat down again, both grateful for it and terrified it'd be for nothing as Adam looked as close to furious as Kurt had ever seen him.

“What are you talking about, Kurt?”

“Do you know how many guys have been interested in me? The first was so deep in the closet that his response to kissing me – without my consent, by the way – was a death threat.

“The second was Blaine, and he only went for me after he got shot down by who he really wanted, and he wanted to change like 90% of who I was.

“The third was you.

“That's it. That's my romantic history.” Kurt swallowed back a lump of humiliation and old hurt, and continued.

“Between the two of them Blaine and David made love into something twisted. They probably didn't mean to, it just... It happened. My friends... They were always in relationships, but never truly healthy ones. There was always something, you know? Mike and Tina came close, I think, except for how they got together when she was still dating someone else.

“And my brother was going to marry Rachel, only on the day of the wedding instead of taking her to the town hall he took her to the train station and sent her to New York alone. And that's not healthy, that one person feel that they can make that kind of decision about the relationship. Of course, Rachel saying she was going to stay in Lima to marry Finn instead of going to NYADA was hardly healthy either.”

And then there was Kurt's stupid crush on Finn, and how twisted that had made things, and... Well. No need to drag up everything.

“I used to think they'd end up together some way in the end after all, but now... They loved each other, I know they did, but I don't know if they could ever have been healthy together.

“It took me quite a lot of therapy to realize that I'd pretty much told myself that it wasn't love if it didn't hurt. It took even more before I could say that love shouldn't hurt, that if it hurts there's something wrong. It took me months to be able to say that what you and I had was real. That the fact that it didn't hurt proved it was. That it could have been everything – if I'd only let it.”

Kurt hated how his voice broke and wavered, hated that even after all the work he'd put in to become stronger talking about how fucked up he'd been made him feel anything but strong.

“When I told you about what happened at the wedding you acted as if it was okay. The same happened when I wouldn't commit to you. You never pushed for more, never pressured me to do – or be – something else. And I took that as meaning that you didn't really care.

“Stupid, I know. But... It was what I knew. I didn't understand that allowing me to decide for myself was something you did because you cared – because you did like me, and because you liked me, not who you could make me into. I had forgotten what it was like to have my wishes respected, because to be honest no one's done that fully since my mom died.

“I didn't know how to be in a relationship with someone who wouldn't push for me to do as they wanted, not what I needed, who didn't try and make me less so that they could be the one looked up to. Some part of me expected you to take offense at me doing well, or use it to your own advantage. Not because of anything you did, but because it was what I was used to.

“I was fucked up, and I should have found a therapist a long time ago.”

Once he'd started it was as if he'd forgotten to keep things inside, and he just kept talking even though Adam looked at him as if he'd pulled of a mask, revealing himself as an alien. The doors were open, and everything was coming out.

“It wasn't just about romantic love either. My dad was a part of it too. He... I love him, I do, and I don't doubt that he loves me, but sometimes... Sometimes I need more. Sometimes I resent him for not giving me more.

“Dad never said it out loud, but I always knew I wasn't what he'd hoped for in a son. Parts of me, yes, but me as a whole? Never. And that made me feel as if I had to earn his love, and acceptance. It drove me into doing all kinds of things I wasn't really into, in the hope that he'd be happy.

“I learned basic mechanic skills to please dad, I watched shows that made me so bored I wanted to cry, I hid things I loved, I gave up ballet, I tried out for the football team, I tried dating a girl... All so that dad would approve. Not just of my interests, but of me.”

Saying those things hurt, because Kurt really did love his dad, and criticizing him was hard. But, they were all true, and holding back had never helped. Quite the opposite, I'd say.

“After mom died I kind of got into a mindset of doing whatever it took to keep dad – in every way. Turns out, that also meant accepting a marriage proposal because dad thought I should. I remember coming out to him, and how scared I was, because I knew that his love wasn't unconditional. I knew that I was most likely going to disappoint him, and that he might love me less for not continuing to pretend I was 'normal'. And I would have, only I felt like it was killing me. I was scared that I would lose my dad by being honest, but I was even more scared that I would lose the will to live if I wasn't.

“And then when he told me he knew, and continued to tell me he loved me even after, I was so grateful that I ignored all the warning signs. Dad loved – loves – me despite being gay, and having to accept that breaks my heart.”

“Dad hated the idea of me dating in New York, and since I never told him any of the bad things about my relationship with Blaine he thought we had been good. He liked the idea of me only being with one boy – it was the next best thing to me staying single and celibate until I turned 30 or something, you know?

“So when we broke up, and I told him it was because we couldn't do long distance, well, dad never expected us to stay broken up. He figured it was just us being young and that we'd get back together once Blaine was in New York if not before.”

It had been so obvious, or should have been, that this had been the reasoning behind Burt bringing Blaine with him to New York over Christmas. Helping the two of them reconnect. Kurt avoided even thinking about the possibility that his dad would have pushed for him to get back with Blaine even if he'd known the whole truth, but he could tell that Adam was thinking something along those lines.

“For some reason dad thought that me getting married to Blaine was a good idea, and somehow I took that as me having to do just that. As me having to repay dad's acceptance with compliance.”

He choked out the words, feeling as if his life depended on no longer holding them in. And, miracle of all miracles, Adam reached over and rested his hand on Kurt's arm in a gesture of support. Only for a few seconds, but it felt like everything Kurt could ever have asked for.

His next words came out in a whisper.

“Sometimes I wonder if me not telling dad the truth about all the ugliness in my life was because deep down I didn't trust him with it. Didn't trust him to side with me, instead of saying I deserved it for being myself.

“The same goes for the ugliness in my relationship with Blaine. I didn't tell dad, because subconsciously I didn't expect him to take my side. He... Well. Let's just say he doesn't have the best track-record when it comes to taking my side against other guys.

“And when it came down to it, he didn't this time either. When I broke off the engagement my dad immediately sided with Blaine. He didn't even stop to listen to me, or consider my wishes. In the end that was what drove me out of New York. Not Blaine stalking me, or all my friends siding with him, but my dad's failure to support me and trust that I had good reasons for my choice.”

Bringing it up still hurt so much, even after all the therapy he'd had, and Kurt knew that just a month ago he would not have been able to to have this conversation, to lay himself this bare in front of Adam.

Burt Hummel had failed as a dad, utterly and completely, and that hurt more than anything. More than his friends failing him. More than Blaine betraying him. It was almost as painful as losing Finn.

Almost, but not quite, because while it felt like Kurt had lost his dad just as brutally as he'd lost his brother, at least Burt was still alive. The option to mend the fences some day was still there.

“Anyway, that's not an excuse, just like none of it is, but it's part of why I had such a hard time believing fully in you. Having a stranger be that accepting and supportive when my blood couldn't be bothered? It had to be fake. It had to be, because I couldn't deal with what it said about my life if it wasn't. It wasn't fair to you, and you deserved so much better, but that's how it was.”

“I'm not saying we ignore everything that's happened, and just go back to dating like I never went back to Lima and got stupid. Like I didn't hurt you. I know we can't do that. Not only would it be impossible, but it also wouldn't be healthy.” He should know – he had, after all, done exactly that with Blaine. “Too much has happened, and we're not the same. At least, I'm not, and I don't really think you are either.

“But could we start again? Could we try? Because Adam, I know it was my fault, but I'm not ready to lose you. I miss you. I want you in my life. You're one of the best people I've ever met. You're someone I'd be honored to call my friend.”

Kurt almost stopped there, almost allowed fear to keep him quiet. He'd come too far though, and something told him that unless he put all his cards on the table now he'd come to regret it.

“I'm not going to lie. I'd love for us to be more than friends again – would love it if you gave me a chance to love you, because I could. So easily.

“And if you're willing to try, again, if you're willing to trust me with your heart? This time? This time I'm ready. This time I'm free to move on, to commit. It would be just the two of us, no ghosts, if you're willing to give me a chance even though I haven't deserved it.”

Kurt held his breath, impatient for an answer and scared of one at the same time. Seconds ticked by and became a minute, then two and three, and Kurt's heart sank. Maybe he was too late. Maybe he'd misread Adam, again, and all this was just about closure to the other man.

You know you had to try though. Even if nothing comes of it, you hadto. The inner whisper came, as it occasionally did these days, in Finn's voice, and Kurt listened. You had to do this for your sake, because you'd never have been truly free otherwise, but most of all? You needed to do this for him. Either way you'll be fine, little brother. You know you will. You're strong enough to stand on your own if you have to.

He was broken out of his musings by Adam drawing a shaky breath, then speaking, voice a little wavering with emotion.

“Hi. My name is Adam.”

“Hi, Adam. I'm Kurt. It's a pleasure meeting you. I don't want to be too forward, but you seem like a really amazing guy. Would you like to meet up for a cup of tea some day? Maybe catch a movie?”

And as Adam met his smile with one of his own, almost as brilliant as the ones from before, Kurt felt his heart burst with joy and the soft hum of a triumphant melody rise in his soul.

See? I told you you'll be fine. Love doesn't have to hurt, little brother. Not when you do it right. He'll show you, just you see.

~ The End ~

[c-m-li-s-fanfic-corner]

Evil Author Day 2024

(AO3 LINK)

Chapters: 8/8

Fandom: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types, Star Wars - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Power Rangers, Star Wars Legends: Jedi Apprentice Series - Jude Watson & Dave Wolverton, Firefly (TV 2002), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Avatar: The Last Airbender

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Quinlan Vos, CC-2224 | Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi, Kaylee Frye/Simon Tam, Hoban "Wash" Washburne/Zoë Washburne, Clone Trooper Boil/Clone Trooper Waxer (Star Wars), Arcturus Black/Melania Black, Sirius Black/Dorcas Meadowes, Arcturus Black III | Sirius Black's Grandfather & Sirius Black

Characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Quinlan Vos, CC-2224 | Cody, Alpha-17 (Star Wars), Vhonte Tervho, Mij Gilamar, Ursa Wren, CC-1010 | Fox, CC-3636 | Wolffe, CC-5052 | Bly, Steve Rogers, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Tony Stark, Thor (Marvel), Bruce Banner, Cin Drallig, Feemor (Star Wars), Tahl (Star Wars), Tholme (Star Wars), Reva Sevander | Third Sister, Malcolm Reynolds, Zoë Washburne, Simon Tam, River Tam, Kaylee Frye, Anakin Skywalker, Ahsoka Tano, Barriss Offee, CT-7567 | Rex, Luminara Unduli, Clone Trooper Crys (Star Wars), Clone Trooper Wooley (Star Wars), Clone Trooper Boil (Star Wars), Clone Trooper Waxer (Star Wars), Aang (Avatar), Katara (Avatar), Zuko (Avatar), Sokka (Avatar), Arcturus Black III | Sirius Black's Grandfather, Melania Macmillan Black, Sirius Black, Lucretia Black Prewett

Additional Tags: Force Ghost Obi-Wan Kenobi, Planet Melida | Daan (Star Wars), Jedi Culture & Customs (Star Wars), Rule 63, Qui-Gon Jinn Bashing, Order 66 Fix-It (Star Wars), POV Outsider, Clone Troopers Are Not Clones, Mandalorian Culture & Customs (Star Wars), Mandalorian Clone Troopers (Star Wars), Post-100 Year War (Avatar TV), Dimension Travel, Child Abuse, Abusive Walburga Black, Bad Parent Orion Black, Evil Author Day

Series: Part 2 of Evil Author Day

Summary:

Snippets of projects that I'm working on for 2024.

See below for my fanart and casting choices:

[apollotronica]

oh my god they put her in a screen .

[sagarrachnagrp]

Together with’ Class 10th CBSE Sample Paper Science 2024 with EAD level of questions

Utilizing Best CBSE Class 10th Sample Paper Science (EAD) for 2024 board exam preparation offers a simulated exam environment, aiding students in familiarizing themselves with the format and Class 10 Board exam question patterns. Class 10 CBSE Sample Paper 2023-24 Science adaptive nature tailors challenges to individual learning levels.

[kenneth-williams-diaries]

“As far as I’m concerned, I’m not interested in playing the role on only one level. The whole point of first-class acting is to make a reality of it. To be real. And I have to make sense of it in my own mind in order to be real.”

“I would sooner play in a good British picture than in the majority of American pictures I have seen.”

GLYNIS JOHNS

5 October 1923 - 4 January 2024

... may she rest in peace ✨️🕊

Photo: Glynis (as Marion Southey) with a young, ambitious Kenneth Williams (as Peter Wishart) in the adventure film "The Seekers" (UK/New Zealand), released in June 1954.

Ken's diary entry on 29 September 1953:

"Peter Eade rang to say I'd got the film part!!! Wishart!!! The leads are Jack Hawkins and Glynis Johns. It seems fantastic. But I know that it is part of the pattern. I am destined to be a good actor."

[inthecityofgoodabode]

January 2024: Spitting In The Eye Of The Conspiracy

My queen's lone surviving brother called in today from Harrisburg, PA. Amongst other things, he was worried because Memphis, or The City as I call it, had been declared the murder capital of the United States according to whatever bogus source had hit his ears & local representatives were calling for the governor to dispatch the national guard to Memphis. After a little research, I discovered all this angst was based off a statement made by our (as in my queen & me) state congressional representative, Brent Taylor, back in November 2023. To be clear, my queen & I were part of the one-third of voters who voted for his opponent. Taylor represents District 31 which is divided five ways between part of Memphis (including our neighborhood which was added to the district several years ago thanks to state Republican gerrymandering), Lakeland (a white flight community), Germantown (a white flight community), Collierville (a white flight community) & a portion of unincorporated Shelby County including Eads, TN where Taylor resides (also a white flight enclave). Memphis is good enough for them to earn their inflated salaries in but not good enough to live in. Prior to Taylor, we were represented by the rightfully indicted Brian Kelsey. Note that the unincorporated part of Shelby County where Taylor resides fought to be unincorporated from Memphis a few years ago so his "concern" about Memphians reads hollow. You might ask why all these suburban white flight communities exist. The simple answer is desegregation in the Seventies & they've been pushing out further since then. Technically speaking, Olive Branch & Southaven in Mississippi have become white flight communities from Memphis in relatively recent years. All this is part of a larger & ongoing narrative in Tennessee, to paint Memphis as a lawless, dangerous city because we are an African-American majority city that doesn't vote Republican. If you haven't figured out by now, the Republican party, at least in the former Confederate states, is the party of the Old South. I walked outside for an hour on Saturday & for about 2 hours on Sunday. If the prevailing narrative was true, I'd be dead twice over with no wallet & no shoes on my feet. Don't buy it. There is a community where you live right now, no matter where you are in the world, that is steeped in bad press. Look closer. Ask yourself, who profits... who has something to gain? The answer might be complicated & might make you question yourself but embrace the complications. Despite what we learned reading myths & religious verses, existence is complicated. There are some of us humans who are lost to corruption & it can be easy to give in to hardening our hearts but, as a believer whose had his fair share of heart crushing betrayals, I ask you to trust your gut but never lose hope. There is a day that I dream of where like-minded brothers & sisters embrace & say "you were not alone." I don't know that I will see that day but my heartfelt wish is the younger generation will.

I recognize that some folks who come to my blog are looking for an escape. You just want to look at garden photos. I get it. I have posts for that. This one isn't one of them. Above all else, this blog is about me. That people agree or disagree with me or are comfortable or uncomfortable with what I post is immaterial. This is me spitting my ideas & images at the universe. If others find value in it, then maybe me wandering in thought helped someone somewhere. At the end of our days, that's the best any of us can hope from our humble but difficult existence. Keep safe.

[gunsatthaphan]

Aside from Only Friends news I think JoongDunk posted something regarding Hidden Agenda? I didn't see it clearly I was too obsessed over Only Friends and the cast looking Fine as hell! Do we have news on that front?

Do you have any news over other GMMTV shows? both BL/GL and Lakorns

yess!!!!

here's what I have gathered about the upcoming shows (sorted by estimated air date):

Home School: wrapped - EAD: May 29th (replacing Double Savage)

The Jungle: wrapped - EAD: June (replacing Our Skyy2)

Find Yourself: wrapped - EAD: June/July?

Because You Are My First Love & Enigma: Filming in process - EAD: July?

Dangerous Romance: Fittings + workshops - EAD: August

Faceless Love: Fittings - EAD: September

Hidden Agenda: Fittings - EAD: September/October

Only Friends: Fittings - EAD: October

23.5: Shooting will supposedly start in a few weeks - EAD: October

Cooking Crush: in pre-production - EAD: November

Cherry Magic: Apparently they're filming already? idk I'm confused lol - EAD: November/December

Last Twilight, Wednesday Club, Loneliness Society: no info

Beauty Newbie: moved to 2024

[spooniestrong]

Today is #EpendymomaAwarenessDay! EAD brings awareness to the diversity within the disease, demonstrates the importance of an accurate diagnosis, provides education about #ependymoma, and the urgent need for better targeted treatments.

Learn more: https://www.cern-foundation.org/awareness/event/ependymoma-awareness-day-2024

[satashiiwrites]

Writing Goals 2024

So…. 2023 was a year. I almost hit my finished fic goals but added a few more. I think I was net negative? Anyways.

Goal for 2024 is to complete at least ten fics, one of which needs to be the >100k monsters I have that need to have their endings published.

Total words posted to AO3 in 2024: 179,304 words (updated 27.05.2024)

Finished fics:

Arrival in Andromeda, 188k, Mass Effect Andromeda

Foolish, 8k, 911 Buddie ABO fic. Part two of An Endless Knotting

Breaking Up In Furniture Mart. Buddie. Couch theory fix it.

It Happened Overnight (A Maddie Finds Out Story) one-shot, plot bunny attack.

January:

total words posted in January: 73,128 words

Choices and Regrets

Chapter 4 (9,635 words) posted 04.01.2024

Chapter 5 (7,931 words) posted 09.01.2024

Chapter 6 (6,240 words) posted 18.01.2024

Chapter 7 (6,107 words) posted 25.01.2024

Scintillation, Chapter 4 (9,085 words) posted 13.01.2024

Family, Familia, ‘Ohana

Chapter 12 Operation Rescue (13,739 words) posted 07.01.2024

Arrival in Andromeda

Chapter 16 (10,296 words) posted 20.01.2024

Home Found

Chapter 8 (3,178 words) posted 09.01.2024

Chapter 9 (3406 words) posted 14.01.2024

Chapter 10 (3,511 words) posted 28.01.2024

February:

Total words posted in February: 40,159 words

Choices and Regrets

Chapter 8 (6,689 words) posted 04.02.2024

Chapter 9 (5,879 words) posted 17.02.2024

Arrival in Andromeda,

Chapter 17 (11,996 words) posted 28.02.2024

Chapter 18 (10,447 words) posted 03.03.2024

EAD project(s)

The Fragility of Memory (1,803 words) posted 15.02.2024

An All Time High (1,342 words) posted 15.02.2024

Magic and Wolves Among the Stars (397 words) posted 15.02.2024

The Mask of the Charlatan (1,606 words) posted 15.02.2024

March:

Total words posted in March: 20,316 words

Family, Familia, ‘Ohana

Chapter 13 (1,656 words)

Foolish (follow up to What Are the Odds?)

Chapter 1 (1,784 words) posted 09.03.2024

Chapter 2 (2,048 words) posted 24.03.2024

Chapter 3 (3,188 words) posted 30.03.2024

Home Found

Chapter 11 (4,944 words) posted 06.03.2024

Chapter 12 (0 words)

Choices and Regrets

Chapter 10 (3,495 words) posted 17.03.2024

Chapter 11 (203 words)

Marriage of (IN)convenience—Big Moxie 2024 Q1

Chapter 1: He Said Yes! (1,538 words) posted 05.03.2024

Chapter 2: Save the Date (1,563 words) posted 22.03.2024

Breaking Up in Furniture Mart

Chapter 1 (1,756 words) posted 16.03.2024

April/May:

Total words posted in April/May: 36,701 words

Family, Familia, ‘Ohana

Chapter 13 (22,709 words) posted 06.05.2024

Chapter 14 (1,573 words)

Choices and Regrets

Chapter 11 (3,703 words)

Home Found

Chapter 12 (5,487 words) posted 25.05.2024

Breaking Up in Furniture Mart

Chapter 2 (3,742 words) posted 06.04.2024

Chapter 3 (4,763 words) posted 07.04.2024

It Happened Overnight (A Maddie Finds Out Story) (1,647 words)—complete 27.05.2024

June

Total words posted in June: 0 words

Family, Familia, ‘Ohana

Chapter 14

Epilogue

Choices and Regrets

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Epilogue

Home Found

Chapter 12

July

Total words posted in July: 0 words

Welcome to the Jungle (a 911 Jumanji AU)

Chapter one

Chapter two

Chapter three

Chapter four

All WIPs by fandom

Mass Effect/Mass Effect Andromeda

An Andromeda Tale

Reinventing Scott

What Happens in Vegas

To Follow

The Marks We Leave on One Another

Your Guide to Andromeda

If I See You In My Dreams

Recurrence

Shipwrecked

Death, Rebirth and the Jackal

911 Verse

Christmas for Cowboys

Alley With A View

A New Versión of Forplay

Family, Familia, ‘Ohana

The First Spectre

An All Time High

Choices and Regrets

Breaking Up In Furniture Mart—completed 07.04.2024

Foolish—completed 30.03.2024

Teen Wolf

To Catch a Fallen Star

Untitled Connie the Librarian fic (Firefighter!Derek verse)

Mayans MC

The Outlaw and the Cartel Boss

Moon Knight/Suits

Cousin Harvey

Hawaii 5-0

Mana’olana

A Marriage of (IN)Convenience (Big Moxie Q1)

MCU

Scintillation

Foundation

Reunion

[chocoholicannanymous]

Evil Author Day #2

February 15th is Evil Author Day - you can read more about it on Jilly James' site, but in short it's about posting titles or descriptions or parts of stuff that's not actually ready for posting, the evil part being that there are no promises what so ever that there will be more.

What I'm posting under the EAD-tag either isn't finished and might never be, or it could be considered finished only I'm not happy with it.

Either way: Enjoy. Or not.

Stockholm Syndrome and Misery

“Kurt... Your dad, I, look. He didn't come off in the best way, I have to admit that, but boo, you have to admit he has a point.” I do? “He loves you, and he wants what's best for you, and this? This isn't working. Yes, things are worse now because of Karofsky, but honestly? Things haven't really been okay for a long time.

“Karofsky might be who you're focusing on right now, but he's not the only one, and you know it. Even if they hadn't allowed him to come back, someone else would have taken his place, and then what? You gonna ask the school to expel them too? Where does it end? And what will you do when you can't hide behind coach Sylvester any longer?”

And that, that is pure resentment in her voice. Mercedes never had accepted the fact that coach Sylvester liked him better than her, that he'd stayed when she left, that he'd had success as a Cheerio. It had been, ultimately, why he'd left, even though the Cheerios would have been an excellent addition to his college application in a year, and he'd given it up. And for what? A friend that apparently isn't going to be the support he needs.

“You asked for my help. Well, here's what you should do. Your dad is trying to help you. Let him. Do as he says. Blend in more, you know, dress more normal, tone things down a little. I'll be your girlfriend, that should help – Mr H has always liked me. And you should start coming to church with me.

“I didn't want to push earlier, not when your dad was still recovering, but the way you reacted when he was in the hospital wasn't healthy. Striking out like that at your friends, when all we wanted to do was to help you, that... It just isn't right. If you feel as if you can't accept God in your heart, then you need help to do so. I'll help you, Kurt, as will your family. All you need to do is help us.”

He can barely believe his ears. Yes, it had become obvious earlier that Mercedes wasn't going to be the rock he needs her to be, but this? This isn't just not being a rock, this is being as unsupportive as is possible, this is being actively against him. No matter how she presents is, this is Mercedes Jones taking a stand against everything that he is.

And he thought she loved him as much as he loved her.

“Kurt?”

“Sorry. Look, Mercedes, this was... You gave me a lot to think about, okay? I... I need to talk to dad again, and. I'll call you later.”

He doesn't know if he will, of course, nor if he's going to talk to his dad any time soon, but he's desperate to get away. He's about to break down completely, and he needs to not be on the phone with Mercedes when he does so. He needs to not let her catch on to what he's really feeling.

She blabs on for a while, and he makes what he hopes is appropriate noises, but he's not listening. He just wants to go.

So. He already knows he can't be straight. He can't. Coming out, even to himself, wasn't something he just did. He hadn't labeled himself “gay” lightly, or for fun. It had just been the only truth that had fit.

Kurt remembers spending countless nights agonizing over it, being afraid, hoping he'd run into a girl that would do it for him. He never wanted to be gay, to be seen as abnormal and disgusting, he'd just learned to accept that he was, and then tried to not see himself as any of the slurs thrown at him.

It had been Mercedes herself, in a way, that had forced him to come to terms. She's gorgeous, with all the qualities he wants in a partner – with the exception of her gender. He's always seen this, and surely, if any girl should be able to make him feel anything but admiration and friendship, it should be her.

Up until that point he'd still held out in the hopes of being at least bi – Finn had been the last blow to his denial when it came to being attracted to boys, but he'd still not been ready to accept that he was gay – but realizing Mercedes had feelings for him, and it only causing him to panic... Yeah. Gay.

Brittany had only confirmed it. (Strange, how two of the most beautiful girls he knows both went for him.)

Could he try and play straight then? It didn't work last time, he's painfully aware of how much he failed then, but there's more at stake now. Because this time? He's not afraid he might be kicked out, he knows he'll be. He also knows what mistakes he made last time, as well as more about how a real teenage boy is supposed to act.

Maybe if this time he tried to copy not his dad, but Finn? That should be easier, surely, and not as obvious, right? He already knows he can perform on the football field, and while coach Beiste does have an acceptable kicker, surely she can use a back-up. There's also the fact that his face and body has changed since last year, and he has better control of his chest voice now. Maybe...

But no. Playing straight hurt and it would be even worse a second time, Kurt's pretty sure of that. This time he's experienced the freedom of not hiding, and even with the escalation it had caused in the bullying it had been worth it. Also, he's willing to bet on the fact that his dad's ultimatum wasn't about playing straight.

He can try, yes, and hope that his dad will come to his senses again, but that's a risky game. What if his dad doesn't change his mind again? What if he never gives up on having a straight son? If that's how it is, then Kurt playing straight won't help any, it'll only cause him suffering.

And for what? Trying to please a family that doesn't love him the way he is?

He'd called Mercedes in the hope that she would welcome him, that her family would allow him to stay with them, that they'd come through for him as they'd done for Quinn. Instead she'd sided with his dad. And that leaves him alone.

Mercedes is his only friend. Rachel tries to be one, when she isn't actively fighting him, but they're not that close. And if he was to go to her... Her dads would most likely offer him a place, yes, out of some sort of queer solidarity, but they would – or so he believes – also try and mediate. And there is no way Burt Hummel would allow the son he wants to turn straight to go live with Lima's only out gay couple.

As for the rest of the glee club, and the adults surrounding him... None of the other kids would back him up. Brittany might, yes, but she could just as easily do as Mercedes had. Staying with her could ruin things between her and Artie though, even if somehow it didn't manage to give Brittany the wrong ideas.

Mr Schue doesn't really care about him, that much is obvious, and Miss Pillsbury is frankly useless. Coach Sylvester... No, best not go there.

Besides, he knows how much these people care about a teen getting kicked out of their home. He'd gotten all the evidence he needs the year before, when no one had raised as much as a finger to help Quinn. Mercedes had been the only one, and to realize she is less willing to back him up than Quinn breaks his heart. It's reason enough to ensure that even should he decide to go with his dad's demands, he won't ever do so the way she had suggested.

He's thought of Mercedes as his best friend, his sister almost, and it's a hard painful blow to his heart that she apparently doesn't value him the same way he does her.

If he can't return home, and can't get any help in Lima, then there's only one solution: he needs to leave. Run away.

He's not exactly equipped to run away though. Sure, he's got his wallet and his cell, but that's it. No jacket, much too thin clothing, shoes unsuited for walking around outside... He needs more. Luckily he knows exactly where to get it.

For once the brutal reality of McKinley is working for him. His locker is filled to the max, and just about everything in it is something he can use now. There, a bag of unused gym clothes – the shorts and tee are mainly useless, sure, but it's clothing and so he takes them anyway. The sneakers are perfect. And over there, two complete outfits in case he needs to change during the day (he almost always has to) and of course his “emergency kits”, one a toiletry bag for dealing with slushies – complete with travel towel, soap, shampoo, moisturizer and clean underwear; one a well-stocked first aid kit and the last one a miniature sowing kit – with everything from needles, thread and pins to buttons, three kinds of fabric cleaner and patches.

He's got more though. A water bottle, some energy bars, dried fruit, nuts, chocolate... His old mp3 player, an emergency $50, a pair of out of style sunglasses, a rescue blanket, a thin rain cape and a paperback he hasn't gotten around to reading yet. All of it gets thrown into the gym bag.

He's still not done. Kurt knows that the chances of his dad letting him just leave aren't that great, if not because he wants his gay son at home so at least because it doesn't look good to have your kid run away, and that means he needs to disguise himself.

The theater department is just as sadly underfunded as everything else not football or cheerleading, meaning most of their supplies are donated. That makes it “normal” clothes though, and not exactly well documented. The chances of anyone realizing that the items he takes are missing are minimal, and even if they do he'll be far away by then. Dressed in baggy khakis, a ratty windbreaker, his sneakers and a OSU hoodie he looks nothing like his regular self – except for from the neck up.

He snatches a pair of blackrimmed glasses (outfitted with window glass, apparently) and nods. That looks better. Not perfect though... But. There's a pair of clippers in one of the drawers. It's a horrible thought, but getting away is more important than looks, and so Kurt gives himself a buzz cut.

The face he sees in the mirror doesn't look like his own. He'd be horrified, normally, but right now that's the effect he wants, and so he nods.

Time to get out.

Hiking through town is much easier now, when he's dressed somewhat appropriately, but he's still happy when he manages to catch a ride. The truck is from out of state, and the tired trucker barely looks at him, only nods when Kurt tells him – using his lower register – that he's looking to “get back” to school. The “visit with the girlfriend's family didn't go well” excuse is accepted, and Kurt breathes a little easier when they cross Lima city limits.

The secondhand store in XXX opens at ten. Kurt waits until 10:20, thinking he'll be too noticeable if he's hanging on the lock, waiting for them to open. The owner listens to him, looks at the outfit and the shoes Kurt offers up, and nods. He gets ripped off, he knows it, but in the end he doesn't care. What's important right now isn't what Kurt payed for those clothes, or what they're worth – it's what he can get in exchange.

And that is more than he'd dared hope for. A backpack, well-used but in good shape, a sleeping bag, a pair of boots that are scuffed but still in good condition, a second pair of pants and a small camping stove. He even manages to get a wool cap and a pair of thin gloves out of the deal. There's a hunting store nearby; he'll stop there and buy some warm socks, and some camping food, and move on. The sooner he gets out of Ohio, he thinks, the better.

For once the fact that his country is so divided will work for him.

[kennak]

米連邦航空局 (FAA) は 6 日、米航空会社が運航、または米国を飛行するボーイング 737 MAX 9 の一部を対象とした緊急耐空性改善命令 (EAD) を発行し、対象の機体に一時的な飛行停止を命じた (FAA の発表、 EAD 2024-02-51、 The Verge の記事、 The New York Times の記事、 アラスカ航空の発表)。 EAD はアラスカ航空 1282 便のボーイング 737 MAX 9 が 5 日、離陸後に機体の外壁の一部が脱落して穴が開いた状態になり、出発地のポートランドへ引き返して緊急着陸したことを受けたものだ。The New York Times の記事に写真が掲載されているが、窓際の座席の横の壁がなくなり、外が見えている。これを見た乗客は死ぬと思ったという。 EAD によると、脱落したのは座席の配置によって不要となったドアの開口部をふさぐ「mid cabin door plug」と呼ばれる部品だ。そのため、この部品を組み込んだ同型機が EAD の対象となり、検査および必要な処置が完了するまで飛行が禁じられる。耐空証明なしで飛行するための特別飛行許可は与圧なしのフライトに対してのみ認められるとのことだ。

米連邦航空局、ボーイング737 MAX 9の一部に一時的な飛行禁止を命ずる | スラド IT

[steph-reads]

The Priory of The Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon

5/5⭐️

*contains spoilers*

This book could EASILY take the top book of the year for me in 2024 and it’s January. Definitely an amazing fantasy book! This book was extremely well written, the world building at the beginning was perfect and I really enjoyed seeing how the characters fit together and connected.

I do think the ending felt a little rushed…which is crazy for an 800 page book, but all the action regarding the “defeat” that the entire book plans for was like around 50 pages. I felt like the major part of the battle and the sealing away was rushed and I wanted more.

I also think it’s crazy that this wasn’t exactly like a HEA! I was really expecting that but there’s no talk of Meg’s wedding, Loth doesn’t find anyone to love, and Ead/Sabran are separated for 10 years.

I am really excited to read the prequel to this, A Day of Fallen Night, I want more about the characters for sure! Overall a great fantasy read and I HIGHLY recommend!

[sagarrachnagrp]

How does practice from Sample Papers help in scoring best results in Board Examination

Sample Papers serve as an indispensable tool for the students to prepare for CBSE 2024 Board Exam Preparations. After doing a thorough research on questions that can be asked in the examination, the students must head towards the extensive practice sessions with the best sample papers.  This makes them exam ready by helping them to trace the best possible ways of solving problems.

Read More: https://educationalblogs4u.blogspot.com/2023/12/how-does-practice-from-sample-papers.html

[petrosolgas]

Universidade Federal abre 900 vagas em cursos de graduação EAD: Oportunidades para Administração, Geografia, Matemática e Pedagogia

A Universidade Federal de Ouro Preto (UFOP) anunciou a abertura de inscrições para 900 vagas em diversos cursos de graduação na modalidade a distância (EAD). As oportunidades são para os cursos de Administração Pública, Geografia, Matemática e Pedagogia, com ingresso previsto para o segundo semestre de 2024. As inscrições vão até o dia 3 de junho de 2024 e podem ser realizadas através do site…

[dfroza]

how long does it take to create A blank first page, to be…

and its accompaniment of the simplest “hello” first written down in thought to see?

(even before speech takes place)

as long as it takes, it seems

for someone to find a book to read

And to be free to respond to its many pages with an open sense of (Clarity)

and peace.

(there is no fear in this)

this is the full “reset” of A pure Winter’s dream arriving (Full Circle) in Spring

like a full tank of gas and the freedom to roam… writing and music and good coffee

what they tried to force should never have been (in the first place)

yet, to illumine grace is the only True purpose of it all

for people to truly find their treasure

what is sacred, pure.

(in heart, in mind, in body)

i have become A writing Tree bearing twin-engine eyes in (A full circle) of evergreen

Abo[oktober]ead right [here, & now] in the midst of mayflowers

A Sunday splash of royal purple on 3 Mile Road in Grand Rapids, Michigan

feels like a warm Summer’s day on the 19th of may 2024

the 80th (and closing days) of meteorological Spring (yet counted as the 62nd day of Astronomical Spring)