Lae'zel's character and her entire situation at the beginning of the game becomes so much more funny when you find out she's 22. It makes so much sense. Imagine you're 22 and you're exposed to this dangerous toxin or chemical or something - but not to worry, you learnt that this can be easily fixed, you just need to dial 911 real quick. Common knowledge. Everyone knows that. You learnt that in kindergarten, it's up there with fire alarm drills.
But the people you're stuck with have no concept of modern medicine and when you say "let's go to the hospital" they will say shit like "i think they kill people at the hospital" and "we should ask this swamp lady" or "this guy over there told me about this homoeopathic healer kind of guy but he got abducted" or "this random bard wants to help" and "I'm not going to dial 911 because I don't want the government to know my home address" or "maybe we should consider a deal with Satan". And then a bunch of them KEEP consuming the chemical because it makes them "stronger". One guy might explode for unrelated reasons. You have a few days before this situation is getting critical and suddenly they're solving crime and doing general charity for the community.
And FOR SOME REASON you still try to help these idiots and you STILL want to help them get the cure even though they all keep insisting the "doctors" at the "hospital" might try to "kill them" and they don't have insurance. And you keep telling them to just. go. to. the. hospital. before the time runs out and you all die very horribly of a very treatable condition.
And also you're 22 in a foreign country and you're responsible for shepherding this gaggle of idiots who are all ranging anywhere from 24 to 240 years old.
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https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeyFC7mc/ this but with keiji 🫣
(link :3) Stop. i literally have a multi-chara plan in a doc for this rn. STOPP MY KEIJI :((
a little suggestive, gn!reader
keiji didn't have a bad day, and when he's expected to join four different meetings in the next couple of weeks, alongside editing longer chapters than usual in time for this week's publication, not having a bad day is all he can really ask for.
though, maybe there's one thing, one privilege he'll always ask for at the end of the day to make it a little better.
"keiji!"
your voice rings clear as you jog to meet him at the entrance, slippers loud against the wooden floor. he hangs up his jacket just in time for you to grab his hands with a grin— "c'mere, i need you for a minute."
his lips form a half-smile, even as he furrows his brows while you pull him into the living room. "no 'hello'? no 'how was your day?'"
you turn to look over your shoulder. "hi, baby, how was your day?"
"it was okay, could've been better. thanks for asking. how was yours?"
"mm, could've been better, too. but i'm gonna make your day right now, sit down."
and he does, of course; he lets his bag fall off his shoulder and land on the rug, untucks his shirt and pushes up his glasses that have fallen down the slope of his nose. all the while, you take a seat beside him, close enough that your thighs touch, and balance your phone on the coffee table against the books that keiji thrifted a week ago.
he makes sure he isn't staring at you when you finally turn the camera on.
"wanna record a video with me?"
"people usually ask that before setting up the camera," he points out, "but, yeah, okay. do i have to do anything?"
"no, well, yes, but it isn't hard or anything. i'll explain when i hit record."
and before he can ask if this is another prank trend, you've started recording with a smile on your face.
"hi, guys! so, i saw this trend going around, and i wanted to try it out."
keiji narrows his eyes.
"basically, i have my husband here, say hi, keiji."
"hello- wait—"
"and he's going to list off his favourite colognes, and i'm gonna rank them!" you turn to face him, feigning innocence you know you don't hold. "go ahead, babe."
it's obvious what's going on, what this video is really supposed to be. he knows, and yet he can't stop from looping that word in his head again—
husband.
husband?
his eyes flicker down to your ring finger, then back up to your eyes.
keiji thinks he's stopped breathing.
he has stopped, actually—he's doing it manually, telling his brain to let out the carbon dioxide in his lungs for oxygen.
in,
husband-
out,
husband-
in-
would you like him as your husband?
out-
it's a push and pull, and when he thinks he can manage to say something, a "seriously?" or "well, the one i bought recently has a vanilla note that i've been enjoying," you make eye contact with him through the screen. again—
"c'mon, husband."
his head drops to your shoulder, and he pouts at the immediate laughter that follows.
"what's wrong, keiji?"
arms wrap around you, a hand finding its way to rest on your hip. "stop."
"stop what?"
"i hate you."
"you hate me? guys, my husband hates me, can you believe that?"
"oh my god."
keiji burrows his face into the crook of your neck, and you yelp as he nips at your skin— "keiji!"
your voice makes him pull you closer, hide a little longer, because despite everything, he knows he has a stupid, lovesick grin on his face, and that's something he wants only you to see.
so it's only after you reach to stop the video (with no help from your boyfriend that continues to cling onto you) that keiji finally looks at you, his cheeks flushed pink as he smiles.
then his fingers climb up to your waist, his skin warm against yours under your shirt, and it's your turn to be shocked this time,
"what are you—"
heat travels up your neck as his eyes look down at your lips, and he asks, "can i try to make your day better too?"
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FR-Themed Ask Game
🍓Biggest dragon in your lair (based on in-game sizes) and biggest dragon in your lair (based on lore sizes)
🍌Three headcanons about how magic works in your lore
🍊A dragon you like based on looks
🍇A dragon you like based on personality
🍑Show off an expensive regening project
🍐Feathers, fur/fluff, manes: your Opinion
🍎Show off a Special-eyed dragon
🍏A weird name of one of your saved searches
🥭Share a snippet (3-5 sentences / 1 paragraph) of lore you wrote and give us the author's notes/director's commentary!
🍍Favorite (& second favorite, etc) Elemental Festival and your reasons why
🍌A dragon + their theme song
🍋A dragon you regret exalting
🍉Favorite dragon breed to draw
🍈A dragon you hate (/pos) based on personality/lore
🍒Show off a fodder rescue
🥕Your strategy for grinding (Glim&Gloom, coli, etc)
🥑How many Scattersights are in your Hoard/Vault right now?
🍅How many familiars have you Discovered?
🥝Show off your random Progen!
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i think kirishima comes home from the barber’s one day with the ugliest haircut you’ve ever seen on him ☹️ and he’s bouncing around sooooo happy with it, you just don’t have the heart to tell him it’s terrible ☹️🥲
he refused to show you any of his pegs, 100% positive you would love it. bless him because all he really wanted was to surprise you 🥺, hyping it up the weeks leading to the day, too—
“it’s gonna look so good, baby, can’t wait for you to see it,” he kisses you, right as he’s about to head off for his appointment.
you didn’t know it then, eyes sparkling and absolutely smitten as you reply, “looking forward to it.”
so now, as he turns around in front of you, arms open wide as if showing off the pièce de résistance; the absolute cherry on top, he asks, “what do you think? d’you like it?”
and you give it a good look, raising your eyebrows in an effort to look pleasantly surprised (but truthfully just shocked). you can feel the corners of your lips twitching, muscles turning nervous at giving away how you really feel about it.
you take a deep breath and blink, stepping closer to him as you reach up to run your fingers up the nape of his neck and through the strands of his freshly styled hair.
he waits, anticipatory.
two truths sink in at this very moment:
1) it’s just hair. it’ll grow back.
2) you must love him. a whole lot actually, because—
“i love it, it brings out your smile,” you look into his eyes, catching how he beams at you. a sparkling red.
you’ll find a way to let him know about it eventually.
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Hello :D
You're so cool
Anyway have you thought that in your rat sons au Splinter might outlive the boys?
You're very cool :D love your stuff dude
(tw for some blood, light gore, implied overdose (kinda??))
hi copper!!! this is a fantastic question!
so obviously typical irl rats have far shorter lifespans than the average irl tortoise. according to google (yes, be awed by my spectacularly in-depth wealth of research) the average pet rat lives between 2-4 years ish, and the oldest on record lived to be about 7. meanwhile, an African spurred tortoise (Splinter's species) averages more around a 50ish year lifespan in captivity, tho is suspected to possibly exceed 75 or more in the wild.
Now, the mutation does give us a lot of wiggle room for playing with these numbers. For the rat sons boys, id say their natural lifespan probably clocks in at about 45-55 years old? definitely not old by human standards, but not young young either. (though, its also important to note that the boys were exposed to the mutagen just days after being born.)
For Splinter, meanwhile, aging is slightly more complicated. He lived the vast majority of his life as a regular normal African spurred tortoise (well, non-mutated at least. there were perhaps some shenanigans of a more mystical variety going on before he was mutated, but thats a separate matter) He was about 70ish i think? when the boys were born and they were all exposed to the mutagen. so he is already distinctly an old man turtle papa. id guess he'd probably still have another eh lets say 25-30 years after his mutation. he could probably push it a little farther even with some mystic nonsense, but when push comes to shove id say his 'natural' post-mutation lifespan would put his death like a solid decade or two before his sons.
of course, the tricky part of the matter is that theres no way for Splinter to know any of this. theres no way for him to know how the mutation affected them all, or if it even affected them all in the same way. especially since the boys dont show many physical signs of mutation for the first few years, and just kinda look like normal rats, (albeit with a more human sort of intelligence) — what sort of health standard do you hold them to? what if they simply dont show external signs of sickness or old age anymore? how do you actually know if something is wrong?
for a while there Splinter is very worried that one of his babies will just essentially reach the end of their normal rat lifespan, fall and not get up again.
so mostly, he just tries to live in the moment, enjoying whatever time he does have with his little ones, taking each day as a gift <3
still,
that fear
never
really
goes
away.....
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