#edit why the fuck did i say blond hair. long i meant long. why did nobody tell me :(

[francy-sketches]

*watchmojo lady voice* hey guys 👋 did you know 🤔 that some game 🎮 of thrones 🪑 characters looked 👀 totally different 👱‍♂️≠👱‍♀️ in the books📚❓ today 📆 we are gonna show 👁 you what these game 🎮 of thrones 🪑 characters were supposed 👍 to look 👀 like

aka i was trying to draw show joffrey and then slapped long hair and green eyes on him because. idk i was bored

[emilymaxximoff]

Souls Don't Meet on Accident; Rafe Cameron X Fem!Reader; Part 3

CW: Language, Light Drinking, Smut, Oral Sex, Fingering, Penetrative Sex, Unprotected Sex, MDNI 18+

Description: Life sucks lately and your boyfriend Rafe Cameron has done some pretty messed up things. Despite this you still love him and will do anything to help him. As his life continues to crumble you prove that despite all the shit you have to go through, sometimes people are just meant to find each other.

Word Count: 2365

A/N: Listen....... I tried my best. I have never written smut before and it has been a hot second since I have written in general so please for the love of god take it easy on me. I also realized it has been 2 weeks since I posted the last part so this is long overdue. I do like a lot of this one though so it's definitely crucial to the story. If all else fails read like the last paragraph. I did not want to read the smut back so I did not edit this but at this point are we surprised at that lol. Ok that's enough. Love you guys! If you like it feel free to comment and reblog as well!

Part 1 Part 2

The warm light of the fire illuminated your face and you smiled at your friends. The warmth of the fire cut through the chill of the night and a light breeze blew across your face. It had been so long since things had felt this good. Everything just felt right. John B sat with his arm wrapped around Sarah and her head was nuzzled into his chest, trying to hide her cheesy smile at Pope's almost incoherent joke. Pope and Kie sat affectionately close and laughed at Sarah's desperate attempt to hold it together. JJ came up behind you with another beer and sat down next to you.

It was moments like these that made the world feel in balance again. there was nothing to worry about, no reason to be upset. It was true serenity to you.

"I'm surprised you made it." JJ said as he kicked his feet up on the extra logs for the fire.

"So happy to see you too J." you laughed, punching JJ lightly on the arm.

He laughed and responded, "Hey it's not that I'm not happy to see you but I'm surprised you were able to get away from that needy asshole."

"Not funny J." you glared.

"Sorry Y/N. I just can't fathom how he earned even a morsel of your affection. You're too good for him."

"Cut it out JJ. I know it's hard for you guys to understand. I can't explain it but I care about him so just shut up about it. Can we just have a good night? Please?"

You looked at JJ with pleading eyes and his expression immediately softened. JJ sighed and pushed his bleach blonde hair back out of his face.

"I'm sorry. I just don't want you to get hurt." he paused and took a swig of beer before looking back at you. "I really am trying to look out for you."

"I know J but you need to let it go."

"I will, eventually...... Why is Kie's leg draped over Pope's?"

You looked at him and grinned wide. You held back laughter as your friends tipsy actions revealed the secret crush they had on each other. JJ also tried to contain his laughter as he gave you wide eyes in confusion.

"Damn J. You're gonna be the only one alone. Looks like Mr. Player can't pull like he says."

"Oh shut the fuck up. I pull so many bitches and you know it."

You both erupted into laughter causing everyone to look at you. You looked at each other to try to calm down but it only made you laugh harder.

The rest of the night went smoothly as you all sat around the fire and drank beers. As the fire began to die down, running out of fire wood, you knew the peace and serenity of the night would soon come to an end. As you all began to walk up to John B's house you heard your phone go off.

Rafe: Hey baby when are you getting home tonight?

Y/N: I was gonna stay at John B's I'm a little tipsy so I didn't wanna risk driving.

Rafe: Can I come pick you up? I wanna see you tonight.

Y/N: Sure. Is everything ok?

Rafe: Yeah. Be there in 15.

You put your phone back in your pocket and ran to catch up with the group. You anxiously stared at the clock, counting down the minutes until Rafe would come to get you. So many thoughts raced in your mind as you prayed that Rafe was ok and his dad had not lashed out.

You heard the tires of Rafe's truck pull up on the rough gravel of the drive and you bolted out of your seat.

"What's the rush for Y/N?" Pope asked, giving you a confused look.

"Rafe wanted to pick me up so he's here I'm gonna go before he has to come in. I don't want issues." you quickly grabbed your bag off the table and turned to Sarah before you prepared to make a break for the door. "Are you going back to your house or staying here Sarah?"

"I'm staying here Y/N unless you need me. Is he ok?"

"I don't know but I'll be good by myself."

With that statement you ran out the door to go meet Rafe. Your anxiety melted away when you saw Rafe's beaming grin as he leaned against his truck. He started jogging towards you as he held out his arms for you to fall into. You picked your pace up into a jog and met him for a hug. He gently lifted you up and you wrapped your legs around his waist as he swayed back and forth. He took one hand off your waist to pull your face into his, crashing his lips against yours.

You unwrapped your legs and Rafe gently set you back on the ground, still attaching his lips from yours. You tried to gently pull away but Rafe leaned forward and placed more kisses on your soft lips. You laughed and put your hand on his chest, looking up at him and smiling.

"Someone's in a good mood." you giggled. "I'm guessing that dinner went well."

"It went amazing. I really feel like I had it together and guess what my dad said." he beamed at you.

"What?"

"He said he was proud of me."

"Oh my god! Rafe that's amazing! I'm so happy for you." you said giving him another deep kiss.

Rafe turned and held your hand, leading you towards his truck. He opened the passenger door and helped boost you into the seat. Before he closed the door he turned back to you.

"Y/N, my dad told me you set this up. Thank you."

"Anytime, love."

You smiled back at him as he closed the door and jumped in on the driver side. He put his hand on your thigh and started back to the Cameron residence.

---------

The second you stepped out of Rafe's truck, his hands were all over you. Rafe slammed you against the door and crashed his lips in to yours, putting one hand against the car door next to you head and the other on your ass, giving it a rough squeeze. You moved your hands to grip the back of his neck and lace your fingers through his hair. He pushed you into the car harder and could feel is erection, pushing through his dress pants. You moaned quietly in his mouth as you felt his hard on push into the soft skin of your stomach.

"Why don't we take this inside baby? I don't want anyone to accidentally hear those pretty moans of yours. They're mine." Rafe said roughly against your lips.

You looked up at him and licked your lips, nodding your head. You could help but bite your lip has he dragged you towards the house. Thankfully you found no one on the way to Rafe's room and the moment the door was closed, you were both all over each other once again. Rafe lifted the hem of your shirt, urging for it to come off and you more than willingly obliged, lifting your arms for him to take it off before he quickly unbuttoned his dress shirt and threw it off his shoulders. His lips moved down off your lips and onto your neck. He found your pulse and bit it gently before moving down to your breasts as he unclipped your bra and exposed you to him. He left light purple marks all the way down and his hands moved congruently down to unbutton your shorts.

Rafe's fingers slipped down inside your panties and used his middle finger to slip in between your folds. "So wet baby." he cursed.

You moaned louder than you intended to when he massaged your clit in circular motions before he slipped his long finger inside you.

"Mmh... Rafe." you sighed, basking in all the pleasure he caused with such little effort.

"Yeah, baby. Moan for me." Rafe whispered gruffly in your ear as he slipped a second finger in you and pumped them in and out of your cunt.

"Fuck...." you choked out. It was embarrassing how much of an effect he had on you and he fucking knew it too but it was your turn to have an effect on him.

You grabbed Rafe's wrist, stopping his motions. He looked at you, confused but it was soon replaced with lust when he saw you looking up at him with your doe eyes. You removed his hand from your pants and brought it up to your mouth and sucked his finger clean of your wetness.

"Fuck Y/N. You're gonna make me cum in my pants." Rafe moaned.

You smiled and took his hand to lead him to his large bed so you could sit him on the edge. His eyes widened as he watched you fall to your knees in front of him and start to slowly unzip his pants. Your eyes widened as you saw the tent created by his hard cock and the thin material and you started to rub him through the thin material.

"Fuck Y/N, please." Rafe moaned loudly, reveling in the friction you caused but wishing there wasn't the material between your hand and his cock.

"Rafe baby, look at me." You said looking up with wide eyes as you bit your lip.

"What baby? What's wrong?" Rafe panted. He groaned when he saw how pretty you looked looking up at him.

"I'm so proud of you today. I also know you had a good day. Let me make it even better baby. Please?" You said giving him a seductive smirk.

"Fuck yes Y/N. Please, please, please." he whimpered.

You then freed his cock from the restricting material of his boxers and slid them off his hips and onto the floor. Your mouth watered at the sight of his dick springing up and touching his stomach. You spit on his length and rubbed your hand slowly over the tip before leaning down to put his balls in your mouth. You sucked on them and stroked him while he moaned praises. You licked a stripe up the underside of Rafe's dick and took the tip in your mouth, swirling your tongue around the sensitive skin.

Rafe grabbed your hair in a makeshift ponytail and shoved himself to the back of your throat. "Good girl. Your little mouth takes me so good."

He helped you bob your head up and down his cock at a rapid pace. Your hands braced your hands on his strong thighs. You continued to look at him with your doe eyes even when tears formed in your eyes and fell down your face. Rafe looked down at your trembling face and you felt his dick twitch in your mouth before he pulled you off.

"I need in you baby. I need you to ride me till I come in you." Rafe said as he pulled you onto his lap.

You pulled him in for a kiss as you sat down on his lap, facing him and grinding on his hips. You grabbed his dick and positioned it at your entrance before sinking down onto him. You groaned as he filled you up. You had fucked him so many times but every time his pure size left you in awe. When he bottomed out in you, you sat there adjusting to him and you panted into his neck, preparing yourself.

"You're so fucking tight, baby girl if you don't move soon I'm gonna move you myself." Rafe whispered in your ear and you started to bounce up and down on his dick.

You tried your best to keep a fast pace but you need Rafe's help to keep up. He really did have the stamina of a race horse. His nails dug into your back as he picked you up and slammed you back down. You could feel him deep in your stomach, repeatedly hitting your cervix. You could feel your release building and you brought your hand down to rub fast circles on your clit.

"Rafe I'm so fucking close please." you cried.

"Cum for me baby. Cum on my dick."

With those sweet words you came and fell into Rafe's strong chest, hands clinging onto his biceps for any type of support. Rafe groaned at the feeling of your walls clenching around him as you came. This catapulted him into his own release, coating your insides in a thick white coating. Before slowly pulling out of you and looking at both your juices running down your thighs.

"I love you Rafe."

"I love you more Y/N." he said, smiling into your shoulder.

He helped you hobble to the bathroom and wash up. Before starting a shower for you both to take.

"Hey Y/N can you go grab some sweat pants for me for when we get out?" Rafe asked you sweetly.

"Only if I can steal my favorite shirt." you replied with a sly smile.

Rafe rolled his eyes and smiled at you "Fine only cause I love you. It's in the top left drawer."

You walked back in his room and grabbed a pair of black sweat pants for Rafe then went to the top left drawer to grab his dark green shirt you absolutely loved. It was soft and smelled like Rafe and fell to just the right place on your thighs. You rummaged through the drawer struggling to find it when you suddenly felt a new sensation your hand. You pulled a soft velvet box from the drawer. Your eyes were wide as you looked around before opening it, curious as to what it was. You gasped as you saw the most beautiful ring you had ever seen nestled in the box.

Everything was starting to come together. Everything Ward and Sarah said. The heirloom. The way Rafe was trying so hard to get his shit together.

"Y/N? What's taking so long?"

You turned around to see Rafe standing in the bathroom door way.

Shit.

[horrorhot-line]

lil update + sneak peak

so, for anyone interested in my love and deep space fanfic that will be released soon (once I'm done editing the shit out of it), i will be writing a main story following the whole game, and then i'll branch off into separate fics for xavier, zayne and rafayel based off memories and dates available in the game. to all my lovely followers, i hope you're as excited as i am <333

as for the sneak peak, here it is:

Common sense dictated you shake him awake, but you felt guilty knowing he liked his sleep. That, and you were enjoying yourself. He was the most handsome man you had ever seen, and damn it, if you weren't going to admire this artwork before you.

To be or not to be, you mused to yourself as you got closer to him and kneeled to his height. "…Hello?" You asked experimentally, wondering if he'd wake up from your voice. No such luck, you realised as you called out to Xavier again, shaking him slightly. What were you supposed to do? At this rate, you would have to call for backup, if only to get him out of his slumber.

It didn't help that he looked perfect even while he was sleeping. He was ethereal, otherwordly. You were in awe of how his skin glowed and how the light reflected off his hair, making him look like he was painted. He looked like he had been cut straight out of the magazine, not a single dirty blonde lock out of place and long lashes that nearly kissed his cheeks. Why was he so pretty? The universe clearly had favourites.

After your fifth and final attempt to wake him up, you gave up; the guy slept like a rock- what were you supposed to do? You felt too guilty to try again; you felt like a criminal for taking away his nap. You'd just have to wait for your death, then. "Please, I'm too young to die again." You thought out loud in desperation, which seemingly did the trick.

He stirred in his sleep, and you froze as his blue eyes finally landed on you. Oh fuck. He was gorgeous. Like, make your knees go weak type gorgeous. Like, get lost in his gaze type gorgeous. Like, make you wanna bark type gorgeou- No! You had to stop your train of thought, focus and try to end the awkward silence between you.

You took a breath, steeling your nerves and putting on your brave face, "Hi, I know you were sleeping, and I'm sorry I woke you up, but you looked injured, so I wanted to make sure you were okay." You gave him the classic white man smile, the awkward one you gave to someone who would let you go first when going through a door or something. You winced, cringing at your words.

You hoped he wouldn't think you were weird. First impressions were everything. "I'm fine," Xavier answered after a beat, gazing down at his minor wounds. "But, you-" You didn't get to hear what he was going to say as the ground started to shake beneath you. The collar on Xavier's neck projected a blue hologram, and you knew exactly what it meant. A wanderer. Oh fuck.

@identity-theft-101 i was just about to post this when you sent in that ask, i hope you enjoy this little sneak peek while i work on the fanfic <3

[yangzhouman]

CLOUD STRIFE and the YAOI IDENTITY

[note: this is my slightly-edited submission to yaoi zine vol. 1: what was the yaoi that changed your life? organised by our beloved @tshirt3000. it’s 81 pages of nostalgia, poignancy, and really fucking amazing creativity, all about yaoi. i wrote about FF7, and the zine ranges from arthurian legend to currently-publishing webtoons and all the way back. it’s a real labour of love! and it kicks ass! please check it out here!]

what’s gayer than absorbing the identity of another man? doing it twice. i’m talking about cloud strife from FFVII, a yaoi icon who has carried fujoshi gamers on his shoulders for nearly three decades. i owe everything to him, and i’m sure my highschool friends wish his pointy polygon form hadn’t plagued my mind for all these years. sorry girls.

pretty much everything about cloud is yaoi, from his design to his character to his story. did you know the designers deliberately made him “less masculine” so that he could better rival sephiroth? direct quote. until this week, i didn’t — he was meant to have smooth black hair, but was given his defining blond spikes instead. sephiroth, with his long hair and his long sword, exists in deliberate, calculated comparison. it’s easy pickings for people looking for yaoi in a classic contrasting uke/seme dynamic.

but the previous design of smooth black hair and less ambiguous masculinity, now a contrast to cloud, still exists. it went to zack fair, who is notable as the first man that cloud absorbs. he’s the origin of it all in the truest sense: let’s begin with him. 

ZACK FAIR

the most important thing about zack is that he’s dead. it gets weird from here, because every time we see cloud, we see zack — in this sense, he is entirely defined by his connection to cloud, and by how cloud keeps makes space for him even when he really, really shouldn’t.

see, cloud believes he is zack. this is psychological and somatic: for a long time, cloud thinks that he is a soldier working for the megacorporation that runs the planet. but he isn’t. this identity actually belongs to zack fair, who truly was a soldier, and who died protecting cloud from that megacorporation. 

zack died for cloud. cloud becomes zack. this confusion of identity is borne both as a trauma defence and a grief response: cloud believes he is zack so thoroughly that he forgets zack exists, thereby removing that horrific memory from his mind while paradoxically ensuring that his friend is not lost forever. zack is safe within cloud. here he cannot be hurt. 

and cloud’s absorption of zack is total, taking on his mannerisms, his sword, even his skills and relationships. his style of fighting, his attitude to the world — everything. in doing so, zack fair lives on; it’s not zack who died, not if he is standing right here in a different skin.

i struggle to think of something more yaoi than subsuming another man into your being, other than gay sex. nothing says that zack and cloud don’t have gay sex, but it’s unlikely, as cloud is catatonic for a long time — it’s the reason why zack dies, protecting his vulnerable friend. the lack of physicality between zack and cloud works nicely though. there’s a desperation around cloud’s actions here, an unreasonable response to grief/loss/love that speaks of unfulfillment. zack and cloud’s relationship is all about uncrossable distances, and reaching across anyway. there is little response between the two: they can never reply to each other, only assume permission and act in the way they think the other would want. the other’s existence becomes cerebral, established in thought-space rather than physical-space. and the result is a loneliness so desperate it destroys. zack was as lonely as cloud; zack mythologised cloud too, dreaming of delivering him to safety so intensely that he gave his life to this fantasy.

cloud feels immense shame about his inability to save zack, and later on when he realises what he has done, shame about how he has treated zack’s memory. but i think there’s something here about cloud’s respect and love for someone who took care of him. zack is physically and emotionally stronger, openly affectionate and protective. by taking zack on as a mantle, cloud stays safe. by becoming his own protector, cloud embodies zack more truly than zack himself could manage. he understands what it is that zack truly dreamed of, and gives him another chance to be a hero. 

what i’m saying is: cloud did what zack wanted, though maybe in a more extreme form than he had imagined. i don’t even need the authorial stamp of approval, but i have it anyway — in the movie sequel ADVENT CHILDREN, zack appears in ghost form to support a struggling cloud. and his support is simply to ask cloud to repeat the final words that zack ever said to him, knowing that cloud will understand: “you’ll be my living legacy”. 

these words are imprinted on cloud’s yaoi identity. zack totally meant it as a wish for cloud to survive, but i love the weight of burden here: it sounds like something an overbearing parent would say. cloud subconsciously shapes himself around it. and i can’t ignore how it calls to trauma theory of living legacies, too, though i’m sure square enix didn’t mean to express the theory so textually. here trauma is not solely marked by scars, but by the emotions and behaviours that a person experiences afterwards, which grow and take life of their own. it’s about carrying your trauma around with you, and having it change you physically. as janina fisher tells us, trauma manifests in a person’s life beyond the event as “fear, shame, anger … startling, impulses to run or hide or fight, even against one’s own body”. zack had carried cloud’s body around with him, and the weight of it encouraged him onward to his death; cloud truly was his living legacy in that sense. but zack positions himself as cloud’s living legacy, which cloud’s body must carry not as a physical weight, but as emotion and behaviour that cloud cannot help but follow through. this kind of intense doubling-back and doubling-down is the kind of stuff that makes fujoshis crazy, by the way.

this fucked me up for years. i have always loved stories where important characters are already dead: it’s a style of writing that really impresses me, and i enjoy what it does to the remaining characters who have to live with that hole, or in cloud’s case, in that hole. the fact that cloud fills his hole with zack, and also himself, is so twisty and fun. forgetting and becoming a dead guy is fucked up — absorbing the man who died for you is fucked up. but i think zack would have been ok with it. and what’s better than two guys aligning in their fucked up views?

this brings us to sephiroth.

SEPHIROTH

if sephiroth had his way, cloud would also be his living legacy. he’s the most famous villain in FFVII, driven crazy by his mommy trauma and god complex, and cloud becomes his enemy because he keeps thwarting his plan to destroy the planet. he’s also the other half of sefikura, one of the most enduring and epic ships in the yaoi world. cloud has earned his place as a yaoi icon, and sephiroth is on the podium with him.

during FFVII, cloud pursues sephiroth. this is more than just plot — square enix built this dynamic into the game itself, and it was a resounding success within the industry and the genre. this pursuit mechanic involves looping back around the world map to find this villain in previously-explored locations. by updating the map with sephiroth’s presence, we get to feel his omni-presence in cloud’s mind. the pressure that sephiroth exerts upon cloud to think of him becomes more discernible, and more complex, in sephiroth’s response to being hunted by the protagonist: which is to remove any thoughts that are not of him. he turns cloud into his puppet — he forces his way into cloud’s mind on a psychic level, and imposes his own will onto him. chasing sephiroth makes cloud vulnerable; but he must keep chasing the bad guy. he must knowingly open himself to sephiroth because that is his role in the game; and we as the gamer behind him are pushing him onwards, making him dance on those strings again and again so that we reach the ending. becoming implicit in the roles of martyr and murderer is a heady rush that speaks to the success of sefikura in FFVII. we yaoify cloud. how fun is that?

here’s a quote from cloud: “i wasn't pursuing sephiroth... i was being summoned by sephiroth”. he’s being literal here. sephiroth is deliberately drawing cloud closer, forcing him to follow and find him, because he wants to, um, ‘form reunion’ with him. this is also literal. sephiroth wants cloud to be with him, but more importantly, he wants cloud to be him — to obey his commands, to align with his views, to be in total sync with what sephiroth thinks and feels. this part of their relationship is all about sephiroth: narcissistic to the bone, sephiroth’s obsession with cloud is rooted in how cloud continually pulls away from his call and rejects him.

cloud is meant to be sephiroth’s vessel, by the way. not immediately obvious, especially with the care that the designers took to make their visual appearances contrast. but it’s a really fun plot twist, and one that puts cloud’s identity crises into sharp focus. sephiroth’s identity has been forced onto cloud through medical trauma, with his dna inserted physically into cloud’s body, which turns his mental and verbal objections into something of a painful joke. he doesn’t want to be sephiroth. sephiroth sucks, and keeps killing his friends. but cloud’s body betrays itself, betrays him and keeps him from feeling secure in his own identity. there’s no part of him that he can cut out to get rid of sephiroth; and even after sephiroth is dead, cloud feels him. sephiroth is still in him. whose body is it, anyway?

i’ve made sefikura sound fucked up, and it is, kinda. but it’s easy to understand the hold that it’s had on fujoshi gamers. cloud doesn’t go quietly. sephiroth’s oppressive manipulation is what ignites cloud’s will to fight back. 

sephiroth’s insistence that he is the original, and cloud a copy who must submit, is the kind of crazy that appeals to me more now that i’ve come to terms with my leo sun star sign. i suppose it’s visually similar to how zack and cloud had existed, but in practice it is a more dynamic and charged relationship. like his mother before him, sephiroth is a virus: iterative, defined through the suppression of others and the subsequent displacement with himself. he exists only in this state of violence — is made real through it — and he doesn’t want to live in any other way. as derrida puts it, “as soon as there is the One, there is murder, wounding, traumatism. L’Un se garde de l’autre. The One guards against/keeps some of the Other. It protects itself from the Other… The One makes itself violence.”

sorry for putting french in front of you. this aptly describes and complicates sefikura, because actually, it’s cloud finding himself in that abjection of sephiroth. who is he? not sephiroth’s copy; not sephiroth. he is as much a One as he is an Other, and makes himself more of both as he rejects sephiroth. in that rejection he provokes sephiroth again, who must respond. it’s an equal relationship only through its dynamism, in the constant flux and flow of violence that they put each other through. there’s no real hope of reconciliation between them — they are on guard, always conscious of the power they hold over each other. it’s sustainable only if the two of them live forever, and cloud is the protagonist. eventually sephiroth loses.

sephiroth is measurably more yaoi than zack, by the way. zack has a girlfriend, for all that his character is defined by his homoerotic death scene. sephiroth has an obsession with cloud that follows him into the grave and beyond. in ADVENT CHILDREN, sephiroth somehow manifests into physical fragments in an attempt to resurrect himself — and when he does, he runs to fight cloud. (cloud fights alongside his friends, but always ends his fights with sephiroth alone: their relationship is unique.) it’s here that we get sephiroth’s yaoi line: “i will never be a memory”. once again, it’s the final words that cloud hears before sephiroth dies (again, and hopefully more permanently this time). 

i kinda like it more than “you’ll be my living legacy”. i think it’s more comically connected to living trauma theory: yes, sephiroth is in his nightmares, but he does keep physically appearing to haunt him. it ties in well with sephiroth’s narcissism, but also his place in the wider story as a lapsed war hero that cloud had, at one point, idolised. as a young boy, cloud had looked up to sephiroth and tried to emulate him; cloud had joined the army to be like sephiroth. in a way, sephiroth is more of the origin to cloud’s story than zack is. sephiroth’s fall from grace is something a lot of sefikura fans tap into, recognising the toxicity of that connection. all yaoi should have a healthy dose of painful, hilarious irony. 

i also like how in plain text it seems… relatively mundane? not normal, and definitely terrifying to a man recovering from his protagonist status. but also a little bit like sephiroth is cloud’s crazy ex who just can’t accept the breakup. that does trump zack’s parenting line for me. 

anyway, with sephiroth in place, cloud moves from a fujoshi’s delight to a fujoshi’s icon. it’s in sefikura that we see cloud at his most fierce and dynamic, which is hugely appealing. i think the stakes add rather than detract here, and the pain of finding yourself in/with a man who keeps killing your friends is very thrilling. as true rivals, sephiroth gets to transgress some of the barriers that kept zack from cloud through sheer force of villainy, and the intense mirroring between them is revitalising for cloud. sephiroth gives cloud purpose, defining him as an individual again — a One. that’s yaoi.

CLOUD STRIFE AGAIN

the thing is, i’m not sure cloud wants to be a One. not in the sense that sephiroth means it, anyway. cloud’s identity is a fractured thing, broken up by amnesia and survivor’s guilt and the burden of being a protagonist, but it’s deliberate. it’s a defence mechanism, as fredric jameson puts it, against the eroding currents of life that cloud must continue to run through. a poignant image for a broken midgar, and a textual experience, rather than theoretical, for cloud. yet his healing is not to discard parts that do not resemble cloud-before-the-game, but to try and make amends with what’s left — or rather, what’s there. the final third of the game is cathartic for cloud’s identity, when he reconciles the two truths of being neither zack fair or sephiroth. so, what happened to cloud? is he still there; if so, how does he find that part of himself again? or does he throw it all away and start again? no; cloud refuses to live in rejection any longer. he cannot exist parcelled away in the spaces between people, butting up against their edges. instead he starts to acknowledge and appreciate how they touch him. he is made through the interactions of their identities against, and with, his. cloud has always been there. 

in this way, i think he is yaoi. writing from the perspective of his ship halves makes him appear reflective rather than transformative, but in truth he absorbs. he is a space for other characters to go through (i am calling him a hole) and in doing so, those characters are different. it’s in that type of connection that cloud finds his identity, and i find that really beautiful. deleuze and guattari talk about how a fragmented identity shows an unfettered desire that is rooted in the current of life, and who craves life more than someone who keeps being denied it? refusing to cohere to a single, impenetrable ego is a choice, and it’s one that shows a determination to experience the present whilst not letting go of the past. it’s too hard to be done accidentally, and especially to do it twice. cloud’s showing us something here. 

he’s my favourite kind of protagonist, really. cloud resists the archetype of a lone(ly) soldier trudging on, because he keeps seeking out connection, be it for love or security or purpose. it is only in experiencing relationships that cloud can begin to make sense of his life. he can’t exist on his own. he needs to know someone, and they need to know him. 

and that, to me, is yaoi.

[now read yaoi zine!!!!]

[meandmyechoes]

Kingohger ep26

i saw the leaks this morning. nothing i didn't already know but i was waiting for the heart attack during announcement!! ٩(๑`^´๑)۶

Geats is… fine I guess.

oh god… what do you mean it's kingohger finale

Jeramie is still reserving firepower

I knew there won't be an op

ah he kneeled down… the humility compared to his debut *sobs*

read a take his hair goes from middle-part to side-part going from neutral to fully siding with bugnaroks

Just convenient when you have an international judge on the team

kawaii not because they are mypoic but scared to go to the bug base

satellite phone king's hotline perfect underground reception

??!?!???

i'm watching rider?? us and enemy same origin??

bugnarok DNA is similar to humans, something made them evolve in this direction instead

bugnarok collecting shugods for their power since 2000 years ago → eat shugods to fight with humans // humans join hands with shugods

so the god in Shugod doesn't mean deity, it's just the name of their species?!

AHHHHHH DEATH-CHAN!!!!!😭😭😭😭😭 his character is full now with this ep

a boy and his droid 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Deathnarok has been protecting Tarachino Zero

!! mechanical bug parts 😍😍 they REALLY should use this more in fights

yeah i was saying how Gira's spotlight seems to be stolen when Deathnarok became Jeramie's nemesis

but a negotiation is the style of a no-longer-evil-king ne.

but also failure is not the end and you don't have to do it alone

😱😱😱😱😱

I SHOULD'VE SEEN THIS COMING!! I SHOULD'VE SEEN THIS COMING!!

*screams* Haa-chan!!!! NO!!!!!!

you four are really standing there doing nothing?? i mean maybe give a wide shot to explain they are trying/discussing at least? Especially when you have a doctor on the team and she ran to the engineer's resuce in ep20? I know he's beyond help and she doesn't know how to cure bugs but…

okayyyy there's a missile from space… ok i guess that can explain why they stood there other than "interfering another sovereignty". in a perfect world there'd be time for a scene maybe over zoom for the other four to discuss their view on the matter and reaffirm trust of Jeramie + trsusting Gira to make the right call. But the B*ndai toy ad target hasn't met yet… matbe would look better on rewatch

edit: on rewatch, earlier as Jeramie explained bugnarok eat their opponents to get stronger he mentioned his claim to the throne is only valid in a fight, so that can explain why the other kings don't do anything other than "interefere with another country's intetnal affairs"

gosh the people really don't know shit. jeramie you probably should've launched a pr campaign prior to just announcing your nation on global TV huh

thundering silence…

Jeramie... finally said what he meant 😭

Taranchi 0 bringing him the flower 😭😭 why so many people dying on this fine sunday morning

i said the narration same time with him

--- 27 preview ---

sigh of relief as they don't time-skip directly this ep's end

no fair! no fair! how come that one split second of short rita sama and still not clear!!

they will recreate ep1 won't they

the aides!! esp. Sebas's new yellow suit lol. i was thinking if they really leave chikyuu someone will have to take over as regent!!

ON MY FUCKING KNEES MY LIEGE MY ONE AND ONLY KING:

toei heard us about earcuff-chan yet somehow short rita sama is still not showing earcuff-chan

who the fuck is blond yanma

oh so the "orange" descriptior was for the ends of Himeno's hair! I'd still like the dress's upper body to be more structured

gosh 😭 kaku-san looks really good with long hair (<- has a thing for men with long hair)

gira in a more mature style but still that innocent expression 😢

no long hair moru :(

did they really became regent?

but i'm loving shiokara's look

[deadweightwritings]

DÉJÀ VU

Billy Hargrove x Henderson!Reader (Platonic) + Eddie Munson x Henderson!Reader (Platonic)

➤ SPOILERS FOR SEASON FINALE OF STRANGER THINGS 4

Delilah Henderson witnesses cruel rounds of déjà vu through the years.  

➤ NOW PLAYING  DÉJÀ VU BY OLIVIA RODRIGO + NOT EDITED

“Dustin, what the actual fuck man!” Upon seeing the Hellfire Club walk into the place where her band, Reya and the Friends were performing, she yelled out in protest. The man of the hour waltzed forward and spoke, much to her annoyance,

“We thought, well I thought, you would need the extra help doll. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em kinda thing.” Eddie chirped, and Delilah tried not to lose her actual shit at the long hair bastard.

“Only help I’m going to need is from your buddies to bury you in the fucking ground if you don’t buy a ticket or high tail your ass outta here, Munson.” The bandmates laughed behind her loudly, some of them giving Eddie the L fingers as they set up amps.

“Ouch, you wound me, Delilah.”

“Good riddance, you fuckin’ maniac.”  

“Guess I’ll be there, ticket in hand. Any VIP passes to meet the drummer?” Eddie leaned into her personal space, and she smirked, pushing him away, quite harshly.

“With that face? Ain’t no way, man.”

DO YOU GET DÉJÀ VU WHEN HE’S WITH YOU?

“Henderson, right?

“Yeah, what’s it to you, hot shot? Need me to tell you where your sister’s at again?” The golden curls dipped almost right into Dee’s face, and she nearly yanked on them to push him away. 

“No--Well, yes. But, uh, before that, you wanna hang out sometime? Nothing funny…or anything, just...uh…” As he trailed off, she raised an eyebrow high up into her forehead.

“Dawg, I know you think you’re spectacular ‘cause you’re now the king of Hawkins, but lemme tell you, not everyone wants in, to your pants.” Billy nodded and looked off into the hallway, not wanting her to see him slightly embarrassed on the accounts of what she admitted to his face. Even though they’ve spoken dozens of times before. However, she did shove a piece of paper into his face after that,

“It’s not a one-on-one hangout, but you’ll still get to see me.” Billy’s hands grabbed the colorful sheet and he smirked. REYA AND THE FRIENDS TONIGHT @ 7PM.

“I’ll be there, Henderson.” They flashed each other a quick grin and went separate ways, Billy still thinking about how he’ll get to the show without angering her sibling and their friends.

DO YOU CALL HIM? ALMOST SAY MY NAME?

“Hey Bi—Eddie!” She fixed her bandana after the concert, shaking her head quickly to rid it from her head and focus on the now. He turned his head, focusing on the voice that called his name.

“H-Hey, Henderson, uh, Delilah.”

“What’d ya think, huh?”

“Rockin’. A really good show, man.” He smiled, with the lighting you couldn’t tell he was blushing because this band was better than his and he felt awkward. He fiddled with his rings as they both were looking for words to spit out that were conversation starters and not insults.

“So, Hargrove, how’d you like it?” Billy took a sip of his beer can and shrugged annoyingly,

“It was alright.” Delilah raised her eyebrows quickly at the blonde boy.

“Alright? Just alright? You’ve seen me play hundreds of—”

“Yeah. But the drummer was bangin’, an absolute rockstar.” She shoved his arm, him breaking a smile at her.

“Oh, shut it, Hargrove.” “Why?” “You’re such a dick.” “For giving you a compliment?” “I thought you meant it as a backhanded one.” “Oh, never to you, Henderson.” She tucked the drumsticks into her back pocket and flashed him a grin,

“Never to little old me?” He swung an arm around her shoulders, her throwing hers around his as well.

“Nah, I don’t favor getting my ass handed to me by my best friend.”

“That’s what’s up, Billy.”

DO YOU GET DÉJÀ VU? (OH)

“Dustin, go!” “You first!” Delilah grasped her brother’s shoulder’s tightly, staring him dead in their identical eyes,

“DUSTIN HENDERSON, YOU GET YOUR ASS UP THIS LADDER RIGHT NOW! GO!” After nodding quickly and helping him climb the makeshift sheet ladder, Eddie took a step back, away from her as she placed her two hands around their main way out. She knew. Her eyes flickered between her brother and Eddie, she saw the determination in his eyes as she knew he chose to go ahead and leave the two of them behind to safety. Delilah let out a huge sigh, making one of the quickest decisions of her life.

“Dee, c’mon, let’s go!” The blade in her back pocket came out to play and sliced the sheet rope from the top of their standing point. Dustin’s horrified face was all she consumed in that moment,

“EDDIE, DELILAH NO! STOP, STOP, STOP! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! STOP!” Her hand grabbed onto the extra garbage can cover with nails beat into it, and the spare spear. The two young adults made eye contact and Eddie’s was almost as confused as Dustin’s, but she persisted. Her chestnut eyes aligned with her younger brother, and she smiled for his comfort,

“Buying you time!” Eddie yelled, grabbing Delilah’s hand and making a sprint for the door.

“YOU GUYS BETTER BE JOKING! NO, DON’T GO, EDDIE, DELILAH!” The echo of her brother’s yelling made her heart clench, though she knew they had to distract them for the plan to be extended.

“C’mon, c’mon!” Dee mumbled, trying to get the bats attention as they messily got on the bikes and raced away, far as they could.

“Come get me you sons of bitches!”

“Yeah, assholes let’s go!” The clanking of the pedals and chains being spun round so fast as the duo kept going for dear life. The hissing and shrieking of the bats would make anyone shit themselves on the spot as they knocked Eddie off his bike first.

“sHIT, EDDIE!” He rolled a couple feet away, the wing being knock out of him as he ran a few feet and paused.

“Eddie what the fuck are you doing?!” Eddie then wasted no time in drawing the spiked shield and spear. And Delilah followed suit. She and Eddie stood side by side, in the middle of the fucking whole swarm of bats, as the first one attacked, the others joined. The duo stood their ground placing the spiked garbage can covers out as they beamed passed them, whilst bellowing out.

DO YOU GET DEJA-VU, HUH?

“Max, please, I didn’t mean it Max. Please believe me. PLEASE BELIEVE ME, MAX.” The two mutual friends saw each other, and Billy broke down in sobs even more so, falling to the ground of the sauna.

“Delilah! Delilah, it’s not my fault! I tried to stop him! IT’S NOT MY FAULT, PLEASE BELIVE ME DELILAH. PLEASE!” She grabbed Max’s shoulder as she placed her palm on the sauna window.

“Billy, it’s gonna be ok…we’re gonna help you, don’t worry. It’s going to be ok, Billy.” As Max kept pleading with him, Delilah took notice of him slight movements inside the hot room and the whispers of Will behind their frames. He’s here…he’s activated. The grip on the young girl’s shoulder tightened,

“Max, get away from the door…”

“Max, GO!” Her baffled expression was blocked out by the guys screaming in the background and shards of glass harshly cutting into Delilah’s face and Billy’s forehead as she knocked Max away from the target spot. Billy let out a fucking monster of a battle cry.

“LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT YOU BITCH!” He banged on the outside of the door, half of his torso out of the window. His crazed gaze went back and forth, landing on Delilah, who was closest to him from his breaking point.

“I’LL FUCKING GUT YOU!”

“ALRIGHT, ASSHOLE, LET’S GO!” Stone churned in her stomach as the jangle of the lock on the sauna door was becoming undone. A “swish” noise went right by her ear, and Billy was knocked off of his ass. After taking a deep breath, she scrambled to grab the pipe that held the door shut, until now.

“Get behind me—”     “El has superpowers!” “MIKE, SHUT THE FUCK UP. WHEN I SAY GET BEHIND ME, YOU DO AS I FUCKING SAY!” All kids and Delilah stood their ground at her outburst as Billy re-emerged from the sauna, crashing into the door, and freeing himself.  

DO YOU GET DÉJÀ VU?

The fight was pitiful. Delilah had experience, and Eddie has none. But his lunatic ass was out here, fighting for his life. Hitting bat after bat, bunch after bunch of the demons, the pair grew tired, but the adrenaline in their systems said, onward. To her right, she heard a huge THUNK and immense hissing as Eddie was struck down.

“EDDIE!” Bashing a few bats along her way, the swarm just circled her as Eddie was practically crucified by the bats. The shrieks of pain disturbed Delilah to her core as she glimpsed back, seeing them bite into his lower skin.

“NO!” As soon as she screamed at the top of her lungs, the bats stopped. Halted. Seized. Dropped dead and vanished.

“What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck…” She muttered, sprinting to Eddie’s fallen figure, she slammed to her knees and held him from behind his upper torso.

“Eddie? Eddie? EDDIE! Can you hear me?” Blood soaked through his shirt and bled onto her dirtied skin, tainting it a dark shade of sangria.

“Hey, hey, look at me. Eddie, look at me!” Their faces met and Eddie’s features morphed into that of a child’s. He was scared. Oh, he was terrified to die. He gagged and coughed as the pain set in, blood coming up his throat and landing on his front. 

“Well…we…I didn’t run away this time, y-yeah, D-Delilah?” She messily pushed his bangs away, even if they were stuck underneath the skull bandana he wore.

“Nah man, y-you put up a real good f-fight. Hold still…” Putting pressure on his stomach with her hands, Eddie hollered in distaste.

“Just wait—!” Hearing a high pitched, voice cracking scream, she craned her head so fast to hear Dustin. And to soon see him limping towards them threw a wrench into her heart.

“Oh God, oh God, Eddie, Delilah!” He choked on his words upon hearing Dustin approach,

“Bad, huh?”

“No, no, you’re going be fine, we j-just have to get you to a hospital.” He tried to reassure him, but he pathetically agreed to Dustin’s plan. He eagerly reached over to grab hold onto Eddie and lift him with her help, but it was fruitless as both adults yelled out.

“Dustin! Dustin…”

“Just give me a second! Gimme a s-second, ok…” The identical features met his older sister’s and she shook her head, mouthing: We can’t. Eddie stared Dustin right in his eyes, confirming what he asked Delilah previously,

“I-I…didn’t run a-away this time…right?”

“No, no, you didn’t run.”

“Y-You’re gonna have to look after t-those little sheep for me—” Dustin threw his head back, clenching his eyes shut at the possibility that dawned on him.

“No, NO, you’re gonna do that yourself!”

“Nah man…s-say you’ll look after them…say it…” He shook his head vigorously, taking hiccups for breaths.

“I’m…I’m…I’m gonna…look after em…”  Eddie whispered good under his breathe, and Delilah kept her hold on him like an iron grip as time slipped by

“Can y-you believe…I’m a-actually gonna…g-graduate?” He gave out a little laugh, blood dribbling down his chin, Delilah’s palms reached out and swiped it away, like a mother would as she sniffled.

“I think it’s my year, Henderson…” Eddie locked eyes with Delilah, and she sensed the humorous undertones in his voice had gone sour.

“I think it’s finally my year…” His head laid back further into her torso as he spurted out spit and blood from his throat, gurgling in some sort of chuckle.

“I love you, man.” His eyes darted between them, as he indicated his adoration for the siblings.

“I l-love you…too.” Dustin’s voice cracked beyond belief, not being able to hide any of the agony he was feeling at such a young age. The baby-doe cocoa eyes flickered up to her and he raised his eyebrows as best he could

“God…I love you, Eddie, please…” He went still.

“Eddie?” That one name spilled from her younger brother’s cracked lips and Delilah lost it.

“NO! NO, NO, NO, EDDIE! EDDIE WAKE THE FUCK UP, EDDIE NO—ED—I CAN’T GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN, NOT AGAIN PLEASE, EDDIE!” The sobs racked the Henderson’s as Delilah cradled his face, the blank eyes staring into nothing.

Delilah thrust herself forward, as Billy was taken down from the Mind Flayer’s tentacles, she raced behind him and caught him, though she ended up crashing onto her back with his weakening body crumpling on top of her. The blood streaked her arms as she held him from behind,

“Billy? Billy, hey, can you hear me?” She brushed his curls from his wet forehead and tried to hold herself together. He heaved out harsh breaths, coughing out blood and saliva with every exhale, Max threw herself down next to them.

“Billy, c’mon, get up, please, Billy get up, get up…please!” His head twitched to meet his stepsister’s face,

“M’ sorry…” His azure eyes turned up at his crying friend, his palm raised to pitifully rest on the side of her face.

“T-Thank…you…D-Delilah…” Max grasped onto his tank top, crying loudly. Her eyes widened at the sight of his drooping and his hand sliding off her face.

“Billy? Billy?”

“Billy, no, NO, stay with me man! Billy, please stay with me, god dammit!” Delilah latched harder into his torso and watch him go completely still, all the weight of him was distributed into her. Eleven pulled Max off him as Delilah became hysterical, wailing loudly. She buried her forehead on top of his head and wept.

The same voiced shriek Max gave out has been etched onto Delilah’s memory, and she couldn’t shake it, no matter how hard she attempted to bury it and block it out for good. It just kept coming back.

“BILLY!”

“EDDIE!”  Delilah cradled her dead friend’s body. Dustin screamed his name, his voice raising in anger than his friend chose to be hero and got himself killed, in the end. Her features somberly took in the sight of Eddie’s fallen frame, placing her hand on his forehead, shutting his eyes as her grip tightened, resting her head on his limp shoulder. Defeated. Not again.  

(YEAH, EVERYTHING IS ALL REUSED)

Sitting in the front pews, her brother on her left and Eddie’s uncle on her right. The same suit was used for Billy’s funeral, the build-up of emotions from the past trying not to consume every fiber of her being. Even seeing the brown cover up bag over the suit in her closet, made her crash to the floor, weeping and screaming, hours before the funeral. 

Sorrow streamed down her cheekbones as she kept her head down, her shoulders shaking without her control. She felt someone place their hand on to calm it, but she noticed the guys on either side of her stayed still in their somber states.

“We are gathered here today—”

“We are here today—”

“To honor the death of Edward Munson—”

“To acknowledge the death of Billy Hargrove—"

I KNOW YOU GET DEJA-VU.

[ghost-ghost-baby]

Narcissist (alpha!readerxOmega!Bakugo soulmate au)

An: this is heavily inspired by the song narcissist by younger hunger definitely recommend listening to it!

An: BIG TY TO MY BETA FOR EDITING THIS ABSOLUTE MONSTER OF A FIC WE STAN!

Word count: 3.2k (ur welcome)

Summary: Bakugo being a little shit basically- Mina and Denki r sick of him- reader runs out of scent blockers-

Warnings: omegaverse, swearing, Bakugo being a dick, reader just thinks he’s hot, gets a bit spicy but nothing graphic, non traditional dynamics (subby alphas) drug use (weed)

You were in a familiar room, one you’d come to love since you’d started dreaming of it, and you sat on the bed and waited… any moment now.

“Oi, are you here, shithead?” The voice of your omega was dreamier than it was in real life; his harsh words unable to punctuate the tranquility of your dream.

“I always am, Katsuki!” You chirped, grinning as he slowly faded into existence. The black tank top and jeans he wears make him look far too good, and your brain short-circuited for a few seconds.

“I told you not to fucking call me that!” He growled, but you only laughed. Reaching out to grab his hands before he could stop you, you pull him down so you could kiss him. Any anger he had quickly melted away, and Katsuki had pulled one hand away to rest on your shoulder and pushed back. You got the point, you pulled away for air and leaned back on your elbows as you did. Katsuki followed and straddled you without a moment of hesitation. His mouth latched onto your neck and you let out a hum. With one hand gravitating to tangle in his hair, he gave you another push that had you lying flat on your back.

“Hey-”

“Shut the fuck up, don’t ruin this.” Katsuki bit down on your throat and you squeaked, although he licked over the mark seconds later to soothe it, and only pulled away to kiss you when you tried to talk again. You melted, let your hands wander down to his thighs, and had your thumbs rubbing absent-minded circles. Then, Katsuki was unbuttoning the shirt you had on, hands quickly trailing lower to-

“Y/N! Did you hear what Mr. Aizawa said?” Mina’s voice brought you back from the dream you had the night before, and you blinked at her as you blanked.

“No way I'm working with their dumbass!” Katsuki snarled as Kiri forced him into a seat at your table, and you turned your head to Sero with a questioning look. He usually knew what was going on in class.

“We have a group project for a presentation, Mr. Aizawa picked the groups-”

“Oh hell yeah, all my best bro’s working together? Sounds like fun to me!” Denki leaned over to hug you and Mina, and the pieces started to click together. You were working on an art project, with your mate, who hate-

“How could anything be fun with Y/n around, they fucking ruin everything.” Katsuki grumbled to himself, refusing to meet your eyes despite sitting opposite you. Kiri mouthed an apology to you from his seat next to Katsuki. Honestly, you had no idea why he’d decided to act like… such a brat really, but it was just an act, however annoying it was. The two of you were soulmates, he’d come around, eventually.

“Oh hush, Bakugo, Y/n’s a riot and we all know it! You’re the one who goes to sleep at like, 8pm” Denki came to your aid. The electric blonde then pressed a kiss to your cheek that had Katsuki gritting his teeth.

“So, what's the project, guys?” You flipped through your book to a fresh page, resting your chin on your hand as you waited for the others to speak.

“We have to show the versatility of styles and composition under a singular theme!” Kiri was the one that answered you, and the group immediately started throwing around ideas.

“I think we could do horror, a lot of horror artists have different composition styles and still manage to convey the-”

“Tch, that’s the best you could come up with? I’m not surprised, an alpha as shitty as you can’t be capable of any decent ideas.” Katsuki sneered, but you only smiled at him as the group agreed with your idea. Your omega merely grumbled and hunched over in his seat as the group discussed the different artists you could use as examples.

You’d stayed late to double-check something with a professor, and you were still flipping through your notebook as you walked through the unusually empty halls. You weren’t paying attention to where you were going, and before you knew it you ran into someone, the same someone who shoved you against a wall seconds later, but your fear subsided when you realised it was just Katsuki.

“Watch where you’re fucking going, dipshit.” Katsuki wasn’t even sure why he’d pushed you up against the wall, but being this close to you, touching you… it was..nice…

“Tch, god your scent is so weak, you smell like a fucking beta, how’d I get stuck with such a runt, huh? Some sick kind of joke.” Katsuki’s tone didn't match what he was saying. The way he leaned forward to rub his cheek over your scent gland definitely said otherwise, but you stayed quiet, he always found some excuse to scent you, but he’d usually get embarrassed and storm off if you dared to say anything.

“You’re pathetic, you know? Being this submissive for an omega, are you sure you’re not a beta? It’d make more sense.” You bit your lip when Bakugo pressed a kiss to your neck, only hesitating a moment before he started sucking a mark onto your skin. His words bounced right off of you because all you could focus on was how hot he was and how he’d subconsciously put his thigh between your legs and thank fuck you were on scent blockers, or you’d never hear the end of it.

“Really, you aren’t even going to try and defend yourself? You’re even weaker than I thought.” A growl next to your ear made you shiver, and Katsuki pushed away with a snarl when he was satisfied. He cursed at you again and warned you ‘not to tell anyone or he’d kick your ass’ (he wouldn’t) before he walked away, leaving you to walk home with your head completely in the clouds.

“What took you so fucking long, huh idiot?” Katsuki was on you the second you appeared in the dream, pulling you down into a rather ferocious kiss before you could say anything. He bit your lip when you didn’t open your mouth fast enough, swallowing any protests you would have made, and continued to kiss you until you were dizzy. “I’ve been waiting two hours…” He pulled away to kiss under your jaw, and if you didn’t know him so well you’d miss the insecure tone in his voice.

“Sorry, Midoriya wanted-” You stopped when Katsuki growled, biting down so hard you were surprised he didn't draw blood.

“Why the fuck are you saying his name here, huh? Are you tryna piss me off?” He pulled away to sneer at you. You opened your mouth to explain, but the words died in your throat when he unzipped your hoodie, and any coherent thought you had went out the window when he started to kiss your neck.

Everything was ready. The lounge room was set up, complete with snacks, drinks, and stationery for you and your friends to work on the project. They were meant to be here any second, and you couldn’t help but hover near the door to your apartment. You weren’t used to having people over and it still put you on edge having others in your space. But that thought left your head when a knock sounded on your door. You quickly opened it and were almost knocked over by Denki and Mina engulfing you in a hug.

“Thanks so much for hosting bro!”

“Awww you laid out all these snacks and stuff too! An omega’s gonna be really lucky to have you one day Y/n!” They pushed inside. Denki closed the door as Mina oohed and aahed over the setup, their praise had a slight blush rising to your face as you sheepishly rubbed your neck. Sero was next, quickly hugging you before he joined Denki and Mina, then Katsuki and Kirishima last. The blonde pushed past you without saying hello, but Kiri pulled you into a hug so tight you couldn’t breathe for a second, and was complimenting the setup as you took a seat. You tried to sit next to Mina, but Denki let out a whine and the pair was pulling you down between them before you had time to protest. Denki immediately leaned on you once you were settled. Katsuki couldn’t focus on the project, how could he, when his two dipshit friends were all over his mate. And you weren’t even doing anything to stop them! In fact, you were leaning into their hugs and giggling at every stupid joke they made! It had Katsuki fuming. Kirishima was the only one close enough to smell the angry shift in his scent, and he glanced between his friend and you, slowly putting the pieces together. You really had no idea what was happening, but Denki’s head was on your shoulder, and Mina’s arm around your waist as she asked questions about the project, giggling and pressing a kiss to your cheek whenever you got confused, which happened more than you’d like to admit. The blonde gritted his teeth when Mina’s hand went to your thigh, you were his! Nobody else should ever be touching you like that! You should know better! So when you excused yourself to grab something from your room, of course he made up some excuse about needing the bathroom so he could follow you.

The door to your room closed with a click, and you quickly spun around, expecting to see Mina or Denki, anyone except Katsuki to be honest.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” He was seeing red at this point. He cornered you and made you stumble back until your waist hit your desk.

“Uh- getting more pens-?” You held out the pack of pens with a confused look on your face that only made Katsuki angrier. How were you so stupid? And so fucking cute when you were- he cut off that thought, he needed to focus on yelling at you. Not the way your brows furrowed and how you nervously bite your lip as you waited for him to say something. Wait- were you blushing? Fuck, maybe he should-

“Katsuki? Are you oka-“

“Shut the fuck up, dipshit.” He snarled. Then, catching you both off guard, he leaned forward and kissed you. Your eyes fluttered closed immediately. He’d only kissed you in your dreams, which was nothing compared to this, and you hesitantly placed your hands on his waist. His hands went to your hair to pull you closer, tugging it until you got the message and parted your lips for him. Katsuki let out a hum of approval as he deepened the kiss, why hadn’t he done this sooner? You couldn’t focus on anything other than how much Katsuki tasted like caramel, he didn’t taste like caramel in the dreams. You couldn’t help but whine when he pulled back. Another insistent tug on your hair had you tilting your head back, and Katsuki didn’t waste any time kissing over your neck. You were so lost in the feeling you almost missed the words he growled against your skin.

“You should know better, you’re mine. Other people shouldn’t be fucking touching you like that.”

“Do you think they’re like…. Finally-” Mina made a hand gesture that had Denki cackling, even Kiri cracked a smile.

“I hope so, it’s getting hard to watch all the back and forth.” Sero sighed, dropped his pen, and stretched.

“Yeah, have you seen how mad Bakubro gets though? It’s pretty fun to push his buttons like this!” Denki grinned as he leaned his head on Mina’s shoulder, and she wrapped her arm around his waist.

“I don’t know… Bakugo’s uh… stubborn, to put it nicely.”

“Your scent is weird… are you wearing a different perfume?” Mina leaned her head on your shoulder, arms wrapped around your waist as you glanced at Katsuki. After whatever the fuck had happened in your room, he’d gone back to acting like he hated you, so, you’d kept letting Denki and Mina do whatever they wanted. He had his eyes fixated on the work, and you turned back to Mina with a smile.

“Oh, sorry about that! I forgot to refill my scent blockers and my doctor’s not available until next week.”

“Don’t be sorry, bro! It’s nice, like really, really nice!” Denki came up behind you, throwing a quick glance at Katsuki before he leaned forward, crooning and rubbing his cheek over your scent gland, Mina doing the same a moment later. The pen Katsuki was holding snapped, his angry scent pumping out in waves as he glared daggers into the book in front of him, all too aware of you laughing.

You were hyper-aware of how strong your scent was, this was the longest you’d gone without scent blockers since you’d presented, and you’d lit a scented candle to try and cover it up. It hadn’t really worked, maybe you should light some incense-

“Y/n! Sorry we’re early!” Mina’s hand on your shoulder broke you from your thoughts, and you shook your head before you smiled. Denki cut you off before you could apologize about your scent.

“Damn Y/n! It smells like you baked cookies- oh my god did you bake-”

“Don’t be stupid, babe, it’s just their scent.” Mina shoved him inside, shaking her head as she followed and closed the door behind her.

“Oh! Of course!” Denki nodded, and he and Mina linked arms with you. They walked you over to the couch and sat you all down with grins on their faces.

“Uh… guys-?” You didn’t trust that look, it never leads to anything good.

“Well, since the project is like, 99.5% done-” Mina started, hand coming up to play with your hair.

“We thought we deserved a reward!” Denki interrupted, reaching into his bag and producing a blunt. You felt your own grin forming.

“Oh my god- is that from-”

“Shinso! You know he sells the best stuff on campus, I decided to splurge for my bros!” Denki looked incredibly pleased with himself, and you couldn’t help but tackle the blonde in a hug.

“Oh my god Denki, you’re the best!”

The three of you were blazed by the time the others got there. Sero happily bounced over to share the blunt, while Katsuki and Kiri just sighed and sat down with you. Katsuki’s eyes instantly zoned in on where you were lying on Mina and Denki on the couch. He was oddly silent as he tried to keep his cool, the nagging thoughts that had always been there slowly got stronger. He’d always had to be strong, people perceived him as weak just because of his dynamic, so he’d rejected the thought of being with an alpha, hoping for a beta or omega. Or you. You never made a big deal out of your dynamic, and always treated him as an equal. Then the dreams started. He loved you, he really did! But his whole reputation would go down the drain if he was claimed by an alpha, especially one with such a weak scent and mild presence. So…. he pretended to hate you in public because the two of you had your dreams, where nobody could judge him! Even if they did pale in comparison to real life. But lately… he couldn’t stop wondering… were you getting tired of waiting? With the way you were acting… the thought made his stomach turn and his canines come out. Especially since you had run out of blockers. Your scent getting stronger and stronger as the days went by. You were his alpha! You shouldn’t be scenting other people! Especially omegas! And you certainly shouldn’t be laying on them while you were ignoring him! You hadn’t even said hello to him! You were too busy getting high with those assholes like you didn't belong to him! You were his, it wasn’t fair!

Mina was the last out of the apartment. She kissed your cheek and winked at you as the door closed. The exhaustion set in as you leaned against the door.

“What the fuck was that?” Katsuki growled and made you startled when you saw him by the table. You only shrugged as you went to pack up the stuff on the couch.

“Denki got us some weed because the project was done-”

“Not that, dickhead! They were all over you!” He marched over to you, trying to ignore how good you smelled up close.

“And? We’re not-” You responded, and Katsuki was shoving you before he realized, ignoring the way you yelped as you fell on the couch. You sprawled on your back and glaring up at him.

“Katsuki! What the fuck!” Katsuki didn’t reply, eyes traveling over your vulnerable form. Flush rose to his face as he realized how provocative the position was, causing warmth to pool in his tummy. If kissing was so much better in reality, what would it be like to be inside you? Feel you clench around him and pull his hair when he hit your sweet spot? Would your thighs shake the same in real life when he just kept going? The omega didn’t even realize his scent had changed, he just licked his lips and stared at you with hooded eyes, fuck he wanted-

“Are you okay? You zoned out.” Fuck, when had you gotten up? You were so close now, your scent overwhelming. He never wanted you to go on blockers again.

“Fuck, Katsuki! Katsuki! Are you in heat?” It finally dawned on you. Katsuki’s scent had taken on a sweeter tone it didn’t usually have, and with the way he kept zoning out, it was obvious. Plus thoughts of him on top of you that wouldn’t leave your brain alone. Your question snapped him out of his daze, and the omega snarled at you, stepping back and stumbling when a jolt of pain went through him.

“Fuck off, like you could trigger-” His voice cut off as another wave of pain went through him, causing you to reached out to steady him without thinking. The omega was going to let out a growl but it quickly changed to a whine as it escaped his mouth. You pulled your hand back like it had burned, although your mate’s temperature was so high it wasn’t out of the question. You took two steps back and froze when a feral snarl ripped through the room, dark red eyes pinning you in your place.

“He-hey Katsuki…” Your voice stopped his growling, and it took every ounce of self-control you had to stay coherent as he advanced, your rut already trying to cloud your judgment. Your eyes darted around the room, maybe you could make it to the bathroom? Then Katsuki could ride out his heat and you could talk about it? yeah. Katsuki was only a foot away from you now, the grin he had on was somehow more unsettling than the snarl, and you shook your head to get some of your resolve back. Okay, three, two, one-

You made it maybe ten centimeters before Katuski caught you, and pushed you back down on the couch. He wasted no time sitting on your lap and tilting your face up to look into his eyes.

“You’re not getting away from me, Alpha. I know you want this. I should have done this months ago.” Sincerity shone through your omega’s lidded eyes, and you felt your small shred of resolve shrink away even more. Your hands flew to his chest to push him away.

“Ka-Katsuki it’s just- just your heat, you don’t mean-“

“Don’t tell me what I do and don’t mean, alpha.” Katsuki was back to growling at you. His hands grabbed your wrists, pinned them down, and used his knees to keep them in place. He went back to cupping your face, red eyes boring into yours as he thought of what to say and a growl leaving him whenever you dared to look away. You were so, so obnoxiously pretty, it made it even harder to focus. Katsuki kept getting distracted by little details, like how your eyes shone and you kept biting your lip.

“You’re so fuckin stupid, ya know that? Of course, I fuckin want you, you’re my alpha- I don’t… I don’t care what other people think anymore, I just want you.” Katsuki’s tone was softer than you expected, and you could only gape at him as a blush quickly rose to your face. You knew he didn’t hate you, but hearing him say that lifted a weight off your shoulders you’d been carrying for who knows how long. The moment passed, all the softness went away as Katsuki leaned down to kiss you, and this time you kissed him back without any reservations.

[amphxtrite]

cedric diggory x fem!reader

warnings: smut, alludes to innocence kink, experienced cedric and first time reader, oral (both male and female receiving), praise kink, daddy kink, use of pet names, alcohol, fluff at the end.

do not read if you are uncomfortable.

summary: the reader has never been with anyone when she transfers to Hogwarts for her last year, what happens when a party, fire whisky and a game of ‘never have I ever’ push her to ask the infamous playboy how to love?

a/n: hey everyone, it’s been a while! bear with me this ones still being edited but I finally finished it so here you go!

hope you enjoy!

———————————————————————————

Sunlight streams from a window into Cedric’s eyes, slowly waking him from his slumber to throw a stabbing headache at him, a consequence for his activities the previous night. Sitting up and glancing around the room that was not his, the blue and gold accents decorating the four posters made it obvious which dorm he was in, and glancing down at the mess of black hair beside him, who’s was it?

“Fuck, not again.” Cedric murmurs, standing and tugging on his trousers and buttoning up his shirt, walking out the doors as the girl in the bed begins to stir.

After winning the Triwizard tournament Cedric had become almost a celebrity in the wizard world. He was handsome, smart, and now a champion of the deadliest competitions in the world. He gave Gilderoy Lockhart a run for his money at Witch Weekly’s Most Charming smile. The fame was everything he wanted and more, and with the girls practically throwing themselves at him, it wasn’t long before he became a notorious play-boy too, rumoured to give the best anyone ever had, before disappearing the next morning.

Sitting down at the hufflepuff table, next to his mates, Cedric reaches across the table and grabs an apple from a basket in the centre of the table and takes a bite, nibbling slowly as a headache pounds through his head.

“Hello there Diggory.” A voice laughs, dropping down beside the hufflepuff. Cedric turns his head to see Zacharius staring at him with an eyebrow cocked.

“Y-Yeah, what’s up Smith?” Cedric sighs, turning his head and massaging his forehead.

“Oh don’t tell me you were drinking again cap’n!” Zacharius groans, taking a swig of milk from his cup. “Doesn’t matter.” Cedric shrugs, shaking his head.

“We’ve got a game today!” The blonde exclaims, poking Cedric in the head.

“And we’ve got it! I’m only a little hungover.” Cedric smirks, pushing Zach back with his elbow.

Zach rolls his eyes and pulls his wand out of his pocket, “this should clear your head a bit.” He states, tapping the tip to Cedric’s forehead and muttering a soft spell.

Cedric smirks, instantly feeling the cool feeling of the drink’s impact being brushed away.

“Thanks mate.” He sighs.

“No problem Ced, now let’s get down to the pitch captain, we’ve got a match to win yeah?” Zach laughs, grabbing a slice of toast.

“Yeah, let’s go.” Cedric grins, standing and walking out of the cafeteria with Smith beside him.

“Wake up sleeping beauty!” The giggle and squeal of your new roommate wakes you, followed by a pillow to your face.

“Ah- Brinley!” You groan, sitting up immediately, and grabbing the pillow before she tries to throw it again. “Today’s tour day and then a surprise!” Brinley laughs in a song-like voice.

“W-What time is it?” You sigh, bringing your hand to your eyes and rubbing away the sleepiness.

“Doesn’t matter, it’s the weekend and Hogwarts is huge!” Brinley smiles, falling onto her own four-poster and closing her curtains.

“Get changed y/n, then the tour will commence!” She declares like a quidditch commentator.

“I got it, I got it.” You call out, throwing your covers off of you and quickly getting changed, eyes still barely opened as you pull a sweater over your body and call out to Brinley.

“Brin ‘m ready.” You sigh, standing up from your mattress and tucking your wand into your pocket.

“Finally, c’mon!” The brunette cheers, throwing back her curtains and grabbing your hand to lead you out of the dorm and out the common room.

You spent the rest of the day running from class to class, from courtyard to ‘special corridors.’ Seriously, where did this girl get all her energy from?

“Oh and there are some house ghosts! Oh- over here is the Charms classroom!” Brinley continues, tugging harder on your arm and stopping abruptly.

“Brinley what the-”

You’re cut off by Brinley’s sigh of content and legs practically melting beneath her.

“Look.” She smiles in an almost dream-like voice.

Your eyebrows furrow but you follow your gaze over to a group of boys in yellow robes, laughing and shoving each other about, you note the design as quidditch uniforms, they must be a team. You glance back over at the awe-struck girl to see her smirking with her finger in her lip.

“Cedric Diggory, tall brunette with the perfect smile.” Brinley giggles, nodding at the boy in the centre. “Playboy, school golden boy, Hogwarts champion…” She sighs, leaning against you.

“He’s absolutely stunning. There’s a rumor he can get a girl’s knickers off minutes after he pulls them away.” She breathes with glee, undressing the brunette with her eyes. You smirk at her and find your gaze following the hufflepuff’s frame.

Your eyes trail up with chest, taking in his toned shoulders and strong arms before admiring his long digits underneath his tight fitting gloves, how they flex and stretch as he walks.

Finally your eyes fixate on his face. Piercing grey eyes that seemed to stay serious even while he was smiling, the colour of storm clouds over a forest, calm but strong.

Moving downwards you trace down his defined jawline and cheekbones, sure to have anyone crawling on their knees for him. Soft pink lips almost gave the illusion he was innocent, but as soon as they pulled up to reveal a smirk, you could tell he was experienced, daring, the kind of person up for any kind of challenge, even if it meant jumping in harm’s way.

It was a face everyone in the wizarding world grew to know, the handsome hufflepuff that had not only survived, but won the triwizard tournament, he’d managed to get the entire world swooning for him.

“Hey there captain, where are you heading?” Brinley calls to Cedric once he’s close enough to hear.

“Back to the common room, can I help you sunshine?” Cedric murmurs, stopping for a moment.

“I’d like you to meet my new friend, Ceddy, this is y/n.” Brinley smiles, taking your hand and pushing you forwards.

“Well hello there y/n, say that’s a pretty name.” Cedric smirks, reaching out and taking your hand.

“O-Oh, thank you.” You smile, shaking his hand gently as he raises your fingers to his lips to press a kiss to them.

“What do you say we get away?”

“We just met Diggory, don't get cocky.” You laugh, watching his smirk grow.

“Oh, so the kitten has claws?” Cedric teases at your sudden change in tone.

You blush, and Cedric chuckles softly. “No worries, nice to meet you kitten.” Cedric nods, walking off with the rest of his team.

You’re frozen for a moment, feeling the heat grow in your face and in between your legs, did that really just happen? You blink, turning back to Brinley who has a huge grin on her lips.

“Oh I can see this…” She murmurs, glancing back and forth at you and the hufflepuff.

“Didn’t you just say you like him?” You laugh, raising an eyebrow at her.

“I said he’s hot, not that I like him, there’s a difference, kitten.” She smirks smugly, putting emphasis on your new nickname.

“Haha sunshine, any chance we could go get something to eat? I’m starved.”

“Why would you need something to eat when there’s a full course meal right ahead?” She jokes, winking at you with a playful smirk.

You roll your eyes and she slaps you gently on the shoulder.

“Hey! I’m teasing, come on it’s almost lunch anyways.” Brinley giggles, grabbing your arm once again. “After lunch I’ll show you the pitch, I have a feeling you’ll love your surprise.”

Lunch is quick and uneventful, you manage to sit down long enough to grab a sandwich, but as Brinley glances around at a clock her eyes widen and she takes your hand.

“On second thought lunch can wait, your surprise starts in ten minutes and we need to get good seats!” She laughs apologetically, placing a sandwich into her mouth as she pulls you away, luckily with yours still in hand.

“Let me guess, the surprise is a quidditch game?” You question, catching up to Brinely and walking by her side.

“You got me, just thought it would be nice for your first day.” She shrugs, walking out the door of the castle and starting across a grassy field.

“Sounds fun, who’s playing?” You ask.

“Hufflepuff, obviously, and Ravenclaw, bound to be an exciting one.” Brinley squeals, swinging her arms back and forth. “Oh?” You add.

“Ever since Cedric and Cho broke up their games have been pretty interesting.” She elaborates with an awkward smile. “Some people say they still sleep together, but everyone knows it’s because they both get hot and bothered when they’re drunk in the same room.” Brinley hints, raising both of her eyebrows.

“They sound… serious?” You joke half-heartedly as the brunette beside you breaks into a fit of laughter. “Both of them have made it crystal clear they do not want to be together, both of ‘em seem to be impossible to tie down.” Brinley giggles, catching her breath to calm herself before the two of you get to the stadium. “Exciting.” You shrug, beginning to climb a flight of stairs up to the seating area with Brinley close behind you.

“Oh that’s Hogwarts for you.” She sighs playfully, pushing you further up and forwards to find a seat.

“Now, I want a nice fair game, all of you!” Madame Hooch calls to the two teams facing off at the centre of the pitch, every player nods to the referee and she throws the quaffle up into the air, signalling the beginning of the game.

“Here it goes.” Brinley smiles excitedly, practically bouncing in her seat.

You watch in awe as the chasers fly skillfully across the pitch, passing the quaffle with speed and perfect aim, only for it to be cut short by another player who then goes zooming in the other direction. The quaffle is in possession of hufflepuff, then is stolen by ravenclaw but taken back again. Every moment is filled with suspense and when Ravenclaw scores the first goal the section of the stadium filled with blue goes wild. Up above the beater’s are hitting bludgers back and forth, defending their teammates before sending it off to the other side again. Their movements are smooth and strong, hitting every swing on the dot. The keeper’s are positioned defencefully at each end of the stadium, using tactics to save the quaffle you had never seen before. They maneuvered themselves back and forth quickly and forcefully, even taking quaffles right in the stomach to stop them. You winced more than once trying to watch the Keeper’s save each goal.

Finally, up above were the seeker’s flying up, down and around the pitch in full alert for the snitch, both Cedric and Cho had their goggles pulled down over their eyes and their heads snapping back and forth every second. You could see the competitive nature in Cho with her teeth gritting everytime Cedric dove a little too quickly or turned to try and trick her. If Cedric was having fun with this he wasn’t showing it. His lips remained sealed in a tight line and by the looks of it his jaw was clenched, both of the seeker’s hair were blowing behind them even though there was almost no wind, almost blurs compared to the other player’s a little ways below. A yellow blur here and a blue blur there was all you could see, then they would stop, scan for a moment and wait. You nibbled on your bottom lip as the scores began to grow, each team displayed new tactics the other didn’t know and soon Ravenclaw was leading 170-130. Even the golden snitch wouldn’t be enough to help them win, and you could tell there was some slight hesitation on Cedric’s face as he kept scanning.

As if he knew you were staring, Cedric’s head moved for a moment, glancing down over in the direction you were sitting in and among the sea of people, he found you. Neither you or Brinley were wearing any house colours other than the colours blue and yellow painted across both of your cheeks, guess you couldn’t make a decision, he chuckles, flying a little closer to the booth you’re sitting in, and in a teasing manner he removes the outer jacket of his quidditch uniform and drops in down, right onto your lap.

“Hold onto that for me won’t you kitten? It’s getting rather hot.” He shouts, pushing back his slightly matted brown hair and throwing a wink your way. He watches you nod bashfully, before chuckling and turning back to the game. Teasing you was so fun, how could he resist.

Turning back for a moment he catches Brinley nudging you gently with her elbow and your eyes roll as your cheeks go a light shade of pink.

He grins, but then sees it, the score has changed in his favour and as his smirk rises, he dives.

Your eyes widen as you watch Cedric plummet towards the ground. Did he spot it? Did he see the golden snitch? Cho seems to notice this too and begins plummeting down in Cedric’s direction from the other side of the stadium. You lean over the edge of the railing with Cedric’s uniform still in your arms, eyes zipping about trying to find the familiar flash of gold when, out of nowhere, Cedric looks up, and pulls the front of his broom forwards and skywards again. A loud uproar erupts from the crowd at the stunt Cedric manages to pull, leaving Cho gritting her teeth harder and stopping for a moment right at the ground before pulling up again.

Up above where Cedric was heading, you saw it. The golden snitch flutters above the stadium moving from left to right, up and down. You look over at the scoreboard and your mouth drops. 170-150, Cedric had spotted the snitch at the perfect time right as he had distracted Cho into thinking he was diving for it. You’re sitting on the edge of your seat as the chase begins. By now the sky was already changing colours, the bright azure had faded into a mix of baby blue and pink, creating a very serene backdrop for such a heart-racing chase. The snitch was as mischievous as ever, dropping down, moving to the side, up and then running away with Cedric right behind, his fingers just grazing the back of the shining snitch before losing touch again.

Cho was beginning to catch up and her gritting teeth changed into a smirk as she began to tail Cedric. Her arm raises and she begins to push herself further, almost neck and neck with the hufflepuff when the snitch jumps up suddenly, pausing for a moment as if to watch the two seekers practically leave it behind.

To it’s dismay however, a hand wraps around it at the last moment and grips it tight. The whistle is blown and every stand erupts in cheer.

Cedric sat on his broom, panting and throwing his fist, containing the snitch up into the air over and over again. A huge grin is plastered on his face as he cheers in victory and his team swarms him and starts patting each other on the back. The group of seven touch down and cheer in unison as the stands begin cheering a mix of “hufflepuff” and “Cedric” You smile, watching the seeker high five his team mates and push back his hair once again.

You don’t even realize you’re clutching his quidditch robe right against your chest until the scent wafts up into your nose and your eyes slowly drift downwards.

At first all you can smell is faint hints of citrus lingering for a moment, but taking a deep breath the soft but powerful mix of musk and sandalwood cologne fills your senses, you smile. The earthy cologne suited Cedric. Glancing around, there seemed to be no eyes on you, so you raise the fabric closer to your nose and get hit full force by the sweet aroma. It was just strong enough to make your knees go weak, but not enough to be overpowering, perfect. You smile to yourself, but feel a pair of eyes looking at you. Looking down at the pitch again, your eyes meet a pair of sharp gray ones and you know he has caught you. Cedric smirks tracing his tongue over his teeth before turning and walking into the changeroom.

“Hufflepuff won so you know what that means!” Brinley squeals, taking your hand gently and helping you stand. “What?”

“Party in the common room tonight dummy, come on!” She exclaims, tugging you off again.

“But the ro-” You interject.

“You can give it to him at the party, now hurry up!” Brinley cheers, cutting you off and running with you in tow back to the castle.

By the time Cedric and the rest of the hufflepuff team reached the common room, the area was already filled with dancing students, drinks and people making out left and right. Cheers and applause went up for a moment as the winning team stepped into the busy room, before stopping again so the partying could continue.

Your eyes had been scanning the entrance ever since you stepped in, so as soon as you saw the familiar gray eyes and brown hair you stood to get to him but Brinley, already a couple fire whiskeys in, grabbed your hand.

“Don’t h-he’s gonna go take a shower now, don’t wanna talk to him, he stinks.” She murmurs out in between giggles. You roll your eyes and look back up again, but sure enough Cedric has disappeared and you sit back down.

“You sure you don’t want to- drink some?” Brinley asks, lifting a cup to your nose.

“Brin I need to be sober enough to give it back to him, later okay?” You smile, pushing the cup back to the brunette. She mutters a short ‘suit yourself’ in response.

For a while you simply sit on the couch with your leg bouncing nervously up and down, you keep glancing back and forth at the clock and the robe in your hands and as you finally begin tuning Brinley’s drunk rambling out, Cedric emerges from the boy’s staircase in a casual white t-shirt and gray sweatpants. Standing again, you weave your way through the crowd and tap Cedric on the shoulder to get his attention. He turns to face you and a playful smirk lifts his lips.

“Well hello there kitten.” He teases softly.

“Hey Ced, h-here’s your robe.” You manage to stumble out, words getting caught in your throat as glistening beads of water slipped down from Cedric’s damp hair down his cheek.

“I don’t know, you seemed pretty attached to it after the game.” Cedric chuckles.

“Oh, t-that. That was nothing just-” You’re cut off by another voice.

“Y/n, they’re doing a drinking game, come on we have too!” Brinley laughs. “Oh hi Ceddy, would you like to join?” She asks, taking both of your hands.

“Sure sunshine, lead the way.” Cedric shrugs, ushering you forwards and nonchalantly placing his hand on your waist.

The three of you take a seat on the couches again and are handed a cup by another student.

“What are we playing?” You ask, turning to Cedric.

“A muggle game called ‘never have I ever.’ You just take a shot if you’ve done something they say.” He explains, thanking the person who begins filling up your glasses.

You nod and take a deep, trying to focus on your drink and not Cedric’s hand resting on your hip.

They start off with generic questions, “never have I ever broken a bone,” “never have I ever broken up with someone,” “never have I ever lost a bet.”

Soon at least everyone had taken at least one drink, you included.

“Alright, never have I ever had sex!” Brinley questions smugly, watching as one by one everyone threw back their drink with a smile, only to stop on you.

Her eyebrows furrow, “aren’t you gonna take a drink y/n?”

“Oh- aren’t the rules if you have done it?” You question, worried you had been playing the game wrong.

“No-no it is. But you’ve never ‘done the deed’ before?” She asks, tilting her head in confusion.

“Well, no.” You state, shrugging.

“Honey, are you saying you’re in your last year of school, and you’ve never had a good shag?” She giggles, losing her filter with the amount of drinks she had.

“Brinley!” You scold, burning up with embarrassment.

“Aw, y/n!” She coos, wrapping you in a tight hug as if you were a lost puppy. “You’re so innocent and sweet, it’s adorable.” She slurs, giggling and turning back to the game.

Your lips purse and your eyebrows furrow. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to do it, you just never had the chance. You kept repeating it over to yourself as if that would change anything, but your mouth remained sealed and your eyebrows furrowed.

Cedric notices your change in demeanor and leans down closer to your ear.

“Are you alright kitten?”

It may have been the alcohol giving you a boost in confidence, or maybe the teasing you couldn’t stand, but you squeezed your legs together shamelessly right for Cedric to see.

Glancing up at the brunette you shake your head and stand from your spot, you extend your hand out for Cedric to take and he obliges, allowing you to lead him down to a more secluded area next to the boy’s dormitory staircase.

“Is everything alright?” Cedric asks as you cut him off.

“C-Can you help me?” You stammer out, wringing your fingers together.

“With what y/n?” Cedric implores, tilting your chin up to face him.

“Y-You’ve done it before right? A lot?” You continue, feeling your face grow hot.

“Listen kitten, I can only help you if you tell me what it is.” Cedric states firmly.

You swallow your pride and feel your knees buckling under his intense stare, with all the courage you can muster, you take a deep breath and murmur.

“Can you show me how to do it, c-can you fuck  me?”

Cedric’s eyes widen and he has to blink the shock out of his eyes. He’d never been asked to help someone through their first time, he found it surprising you would ask him of all people, but at the same time, it was no secret he had done it all when it came to this and your request had his cock hardening in need.

“Alright kitten.” Cedric smirks, taking your hand into his and leading you up the stairs to his private head-boy room. “If you want a lesson, I’d be happy to give one.” He chuckles darkly.

You can already feel the arousal from his words alone dripping from your core to your panties as you nod slowly. Cedric pulls you into his dorm, shutting the door behind him in locking it.

“Now be good darling, and let me teach you.” Cedric smirks, pinning you against the wall and lifting your chin up to him. “Y-Yes…” You respond shyly.

“Yes, who?” Cedric teases, leaning closer to you and ghosting them right over yours. “Call me whatever feels right, kitten.” Cedric smirks, noticing you deep in thought.

“Yes daddy.” You respond meekly, almost like a question. Cedric’s eyebrows raise and his mouth begins to water at your words.

“Say it again, louder.” Cedric teases, placing his hands on your hips and squeezing tightly.

“Yes daddy!” You repeat louder, watching as Cedric’s sharp gray eyes go dark and his lips are on yours. Cedric groans as your lips mould to his, and he takes the lead, moving you in sync with his movements and tilting your chin for better access.

The brunette had never had a lover call him any nicknames before, they usually stuck to his name as he fucked them, but Merlin was this better.

His hands fly to the hem of your sweatshirt as he breaks the kiss for a moment to throw it off before connecting your lips again, slowly prodding his tongue along your bottom lip as you submissively open your mouth to give him access.

Cedric glides his tongue against yours gently swirling it around, taking in the taste of strong firewhiskey essence left on your breath and the sweet smelling perfume on your skin.

His hands travel down your chest and onto your hips as he drags your pants down by the waist, leaving them in a pool around your legs, leaving you only in your bra and panties.

Not taking his lips off yours, Cedric takes your hands and places them at the hem of his white shirt and you get the message, slowly, you take the soft fabric in between your fingers and tug it up Cedric’s chest, pulling back to maneuver it over his head and dropping it on the ground beside you. Taking your hands into his again, Cedric guides your hands to his torso and chest, inviting you to touch him as he deepens the kiss once again.

You oblige and place one hand on his toned shoulder and the other finds its place around Cedric’s abdomen and on his lower back, pulling you impossibly closer to the hufflepuff.

Your breath hitches as you feel the brunette’s hard length pressing against your lower stomach and you pull away from the kiss for a moment to look down and gulp nervously.

Cedric looks down at you teasingly, watching your eyes go from excitement to anxiety.

“What’s wrong kitten? Do you want to get on your knees for your daddy?” Cedric chuckles, placing his nose against your ear and whispering in a hushed tone.

“Y-Yes daddy, but-”

“Shh, daddy has it covered, kitten.” Cedric smirks, bringing his long digits up and placing two in front of your lips.

“Now show me what you want to do, and then we’ll put those lips of yours to real use.” Cedric nods, doing his best to keep himself upright as you nervously open your mouth and take his fingers down to the knuckle, Cedric swallows his urge to just fuck you right there and bites back a groan as your tongue begins swirling around his fingers. Your movements are slow and timid at first, but you move your hand up to hold Cedric’s fingers in place and begin moving your head back and forth, moving quickly but taking your time to drag your tongue up and down Cedric’s long digits.

“Fuck that’s perfect kitten.” Cedric smiles weakly, feeling his cock begin to throb in desire.

“Does it feel good daddy?” You ask, pushing Cedric back a bit so you have room to get down on your knees. “Yes, so good.”

You smile and pull down Cedric’s sweatpants by the waistband and his hand finds its way into your hair, softly at first, but as his length finally springs free, his grip tightens and you smirk knowingly.

Taking Cedric’s shaft into your hands you begin teasing the hufflepuff’s tip with your tongue, running it up and down his thick shaft as his grip on your hair tightens and soft groans leave his lips. You pause for a moment, and Cedric, sensing your fear, places his other hand on your jaw and gathers your hair into his hand.

“You’re doing so well, kitten, making daddy feel so good.” Cedric sighs contently with a grin. Your smile returns to your face and you nod, taking Cedric’s length into your mouth as far as you could and using your hand for what you can’t reach, and like with his fingers you begin swirling your tongue around, testing the waters and glazing up to see Cedric’s reaction.

Eyes closed, mouth agape, and incoherent curses spilling from his lips, you feel your confidence grow and you pick up the pace, bobbing your head back and forth and slowing down to tease his tip. You grow daring and attempt to go deeper, and as Cedric feels his tip hitting the back of your throat he lets out a low groan and feels his hips rolling gently.

With tears pricking your eyes you take Cedric’s cock as the arousal in your pussy grows and with eyes clouded by pleasure, the gray-eyed hufflepuff smirks.

“Use your finger kitten, and make circles around until you find the right spot.” Cedric instructs, watching your hand travel down past your stomach and into your panties.

You experiment around, slowly moving upwards until you feel it, a sudden burst of pleasure hitting you right in the perfect spot..

“Mmh!” You moan, moving your fingers faster against your clit, finally feeling the need in your lower stomach being satisfied.

Your moans send vibrations up Cedric’s shaft and send the brunette doubling over in pleasure with one hand on the wall behind you for support.

“T-That’s it kitten, fuck.” Cedric sighs, watching your hand move back and forth against your clit while your tongue swirls addictively against his cock.

For a moment, with his eyes practically rolling into the back of his head Cedric forgets ‘the lesson’ and delves deeper into the pleasure, his eyes train on your lips wrapped around him and your fingers moving innocently, still too nervous to go deeper, the feeling of you gagging was enough to get him to snap out for a moment and let go of his grip on your hair.

“W-What’s wrong daddy?” You ask, looking up to Cedric with wide eyes.

“N-Nothing, it’s just time for our next lesson.” He explains, helping you up and leading you over to his bed.

Pushing you backwards onto the bed, Cedric watches intrigued as your eyes fly about his room instead of looking at him and he bites back a smirk.

“That’s enough kitten, lay back.” Cedric commands.

You oblige immediately, slowly lowering yourself onto the soft bed and wringing your fingers together over your stomach.

Cedric pauses, dragging his eyes over your body and taking in every curve, you feel the insecurity bubble in your stomach and you move your hands to hide it, when Cedric grabs them and whispers a simple, “don’t, you’re beautiful.”

Your face flushes red and you allow Cedric to place your arms at your side before hooking his fingers on the sides of your soaked panties and pulling them down.

The full scent of your arousal hits him full force and the sight of it glistening all for him made the wish to just drop to his knees now unbearable.

“Okay kitten. I want you to spread your legs and play with your clit again.” Cedric orders, stepping back and crossing his arms.

“W-What?”

“Spread your legs and fuck yourself with your fingers, kitten.” Cedric repeats, watching in amusement as your eyes widen and your lips purse nervously, legs spreading and fingers finding themselves on your clit nevertheless.

“L-Like this daddy?” You ask, gently teasing your fingers down your slit.

“Faster kitten.” Cedric replies plainly, smirking to himself.

You gasp suddenly as your digits begin to pick up the pace, moving in circles around your throbbing clit. “L-Like this?” You pant, throwing your head back gently as the pleasure

“That’s perfect darling. How does it feel?” Cedric smirks.

“Good. So-So good!” You squeak, curling your toes at the euphoria rushing through your abdomen and through your veins as you push your fingers faster and faster.

Your hips buck upwards and your panting grows heavier as your thoughts and movement begin to grow erratic. Cedric licks his lips and steps forwards, lowering himself down onto his knees and prying your hand away, he watches in delight as your eyes widen in confusion at him, your mouth opening and closing as you try to regain your thoughts.

“Just relax, kitten.” Cedric coos, inching closer and licking a thick stripe up your core, lingering seductively on your clit as he pushes it around with his tongue.

“O-Oh fuck.” You moan, tightening your grip on the sheet as you watch Cedric suck gently on the sensitive bud. His large calloused hands massage your thighs as he works, gently caressing them as they shake in pleasure.

He shifts his attention downwards, letting his tongue slide down until he reaches your slit and then, agonizingly slowly, he begins to dip the tip of his tongue in and out, again and again, watching you shake and whine impatiently, waiting for you to break.

You try to pull him closer to you by burying your hand into his hair and tugging on him, but he keeps his pace, no matter how hard you buck your hips or grind down on him he persists until finally you beg.

“Please daddy, please. I-I need you! Fuck go faster.” You cry in pure need.

Cedric smirks to himself victoriously and obliges.

“Whatever my princess wants.”

As if a switch was flipped Cedric begins darting his tongue out as quick as he could, going in and out and lapping up and down.

The hufflepuff moves his hand from your thigh and begins slowly teasing you as his tongue swirls around your clit. You whimper at the feeling of his fingers sinking into your slit and grind your hips instinctively at the feeling. Your core clenches as Cedric’s digits pick up the pace, your mouth parts over and over again, trying to find your voice, but no words come out. You couldn’t think, couldn’t move, all you could feel was Cedric fingers thrusting in and out of you and his tongue sending delicious shockwaves up your stomach it was too much, but it felt so fucking good. You could feel your body clench and something tightening inside you that kept tugging everytime Cedric’s fingers slammed back into you.

Cedric chuckles to himself, sending even more vibrations up your core. He knew what was coming. Your breathing was growing erratic, your hips were bucking and you were squirming around in his grip.

“Do you feel that kitten?” He smirks, watching as you nod vigorously.

“Let go, darling. Relax.” Cedric hushes in a soft tone.

His fingers don’t stop as you finally give in, white flashing your vision as you cry and feel your release, crying Cedric’s name over and over again as he helps you ride out your high.

“Beautiful darling.” He murmurs, cleaning you off with his tongue as you whimper in response.

“How are you feeling? We can stop if-”

You cut him off.

“No! P-Please daddy, it feels so good I want more.” Your eyes widen at your own words and your face flushes a deep shade of red, you look down.

Cedric’s eyes widen for a moment before his grin returns and he nods.

“Very well then.” He murmurs, ditching his sweatpants that were wrapped around his ankles and climbing onto his bed.

Pushing you back gently he positions himself above you and takes his lips into yours in a soft kiss, waiting for you to return it.

Your eyes close and you tilt your head to the side, allowing Cedric to part his lips and tease his tongue along yours.

You breathe sharply in through your nose as the taste of your pussy still lingers on Cedric’s lips, but you find yourself moaning at the sensation, wrapping your arms around Cedric’s neck to pull him closer to you.

His hands move to your back where he skillfully unclips your bra, breaking the kiss for only a second as he pulls it from your arms and tosses it away.

Before you even realize it his lips are on your again, harder this time and far more passionate, he moves his lips slowly but fully, making you moan in satisfaction.

You feel your arousal grow again as heat builds up in your core, you swing your legs impatient around Cedric’s torso in a wordless plea to fuck you.

Cedric smiles into the kiss and without removing his lips from yours he uses his hands to loosen the grip from your legs and place them back on his bed. He pushes them apart and gets himself into position, before slowly pushing his length into you. You drew a sharp breath as he pushed deeper into you, but the sharp feeling went away almost immediately as you shifted yourself into a more comfortable position.

Cedric has to restrain himself from starting as he waits for your permission to start. Being your first time, he didn’t want to accidentally hurt you, or start before you were ready.

He lets out a breathy groan, you wrapped around him so perfectly, he had to pull away from your lips for a moment to bite his lip.

You capture his lips back into yours and whisper softly for him to start, Cedric doesn’t hesitate and begins to roll his hips in and out, building speed with each thrust of his hips.

“Fuck kitten you feel so good.” He moans, moving his lips to your neck and sucking on the sensitive skin as you sigh in pleasure.

Your breathing came out in rough pants with each thrust from Cedric’s hips, mixing with moans of ecstasy as he filled you up each time, hitting the spot deep in you that had your toes curling and your head lolling back.

“Faster daddy please!” You cry as Cedric nods and quickened his pace making shallow but thorough thrusts and sent vibration all the way up your body and through your veins.

“F-Fuck right there.” You beg, holding onto Cedric’s back like your life depended on it.

“You’re doing so well for me kitten, f-fuck.” Cedric praises causing light shivers to go down your spine.

You whimper softly.

Cedric chuckles softly as he buries his neck in your neck again and bucks his hips, burying himself fully causing a sharp gasp.

“Kitten you feel so good wrapped around my cock, Merlin I could fuck you for days.” The brunette murmurs darkly.

Your face darkens even more and you can only squeak out a small ‘thank you’ before Cedric begins snapping his hips back and forth again.

“Oh- oh fuck.”

“You like it when I praise you kitten? Tell you how perfect you feel while I fuck you.” Cedric taunts, pressing hard kisses down your neck.

“Yes daddy, I love it!” You shout, tightening your grip on his back as Cedric thrusts faster and harder

The tight sensation in your stomach was back and it was getting harder to hold in your climax with Cedric thrusts still hitting your core perfectly.

“D-Daddy, I’m so close.” You pant, arching your back and dropping your head into the pillows below you.

“I-I’m almost there kitten, you’re doing so well.” Cedric breathes, moaning in pleasure as you clench suddenly, trying to keep your release at bay.

“It’s alright darling, cum for me love.” Cedric murmurs, connecting your lips once more as his thrusts grow slower. You nod firmly, arching your back and feeling your eyes roll back as ecstasy pulses through your being.

The shockwaves from your release and the sound of your voice shouting his name pushes Cedric over the edge and after one final thrust his vision flashes.

“Oh fuck y/n.” He moans, slowly rolling his hips to ride out his high.

Cedric smiles as he finishes, collapsing gently beside you.

“How was it, kitten?” Cedric asks teasingly, placing his hand on your cheek.

“W-Wow.” You mutter after a moment. “It was perfect Ced, I learned so much.” You smile.

“That's great kitten, you did… amazing.” Cedric smirks, finding his voice getting caught in his throat as he speaks.

You glance out the window and see darkness pouring through the glass panes.

“M’ getting tired Ced.” You sigh, getting ready to throw the covers off and try to get back to your room.

“Hey, hey. It’s alright. You can stay here, I’ll clean you up.” The hufflepuff insists, sitting up suddenly and grabbing his wand.

You nod and close your eyes for a moment, he murmurs a spell and when you open your eyes again you are cleaned off and Cedric was walking towards you with clean clothes, wearing his sweatpants again.

“Here, I-I’ll get you some water.” he smiles, laying a large t-shirt and a pair of his boxers onto the bed.

You nod meekly and sit up carefully to grab the clothing.

Shrugging on the shirt, you watch as Cedric makes his way to his door.

“Thank you by the way.” You sigh hoarsely, smiling to yourself.

“Yeah, no problem. I’ll be back in a moment.” Cedric nods, opening the door to his dorm and leaving.

“Godric…” Cedric sighs to himself as he leaves. For a moment he leans on the door and just breathes. This was just supposed to be a ‘lesson.’ A one night thing where you’d be together one night and forget. But, how was he going to forget? The way you touched his skin, said his name, called him ‘daddy.’

Fuck.

By the time he reached the common room the party had died down to only the hufflepuff students who were either passed out or cleaning up.

The refreshments table still had a few pitchers of water no one had touched so Cedric grabs one and two cups before turning and walking towards the stairs.

When he returned you were half passed out on his bed, your eyes flutter lightly as he walks in and Cedric can’t help but smile. You look so beautiful lying there, exhausted, but absolutely stunning.

“Hey, I brought you something to drink.” He whispers, pouring you a drink before helping you sit up.

“Mm-” You nod, taking the cup from his hand and drinking it.

The cool water feels amazing down your dry throat, you smile and thank him again before handing the cup back to him and collapsing back into bed.

“I-I’ll sleep on the floor.” Cedric mutters, placing the cup onto his bedside stand.

“No- Can you stay with me, please?” You murmur out suddenly, shifting to the side of the bed and snuggling yourself into his blanket.

“Yeah, of course.”Cedric smiles, sitting beside you before laying and getting situated in the covers.

You turn as soon as he’s comfortable and cuddle yourself into his chest.

“G’night Cedric.” You yawn, feeling your fatigue pull you into unconsciousness.

“Goodnight y/n.” The hufflepuff murmurs, wrapping his arms around your torso and resting his chin over your head.

There was something soothing about your breathing, the scent of your hair, the feeling of your skin against his. Something about you felt right, you felt perfectly sculpted against him.

Almost, ethereal.

But you deserved so much better than him. More than a playboy that has used every trick in the book. More than someone who could barely remember his nights because of alcohol. More than him.

You were innocent, more or less, compared to him. You still had a chance.

He sighs, pulling you closer to him.

For tonight though it didn’t matter, you were asleep peacefully in his arms and he was there with you. You could make the choice in the morning. But for now he was here, with you.

And that was all that mattered.

[oops-aquarius]

tainted kisses

summary: steve needs some relaxation, which you provide to him

warnings: smut (!!!!), praise kink, slight degradation kink, a little bit of angst cuz a hoe is sad, oral fixation (duh), slight dom/sub dynamics (?), mentions of sadness/depression, tiny mommy kink (like barely there)

pairing: steve rogers x reader

word count: 2.2k

note(s): not edited well at all, also i used a prompt generator to get the promt i used (which is below !!)

prompt: “baths or water (tubs or jacuzzis; hot springs; water houses or steam rooms; the ocean; swimming pools.”

kink: “Oral fixation or fetishization (lips, tongue, or whole mouth; french-kissing; licking; oral displays using food or beer bottles; smoking cigarettes, cigars, or pipes; biting or chewing one's lip(s))”

--

***this is post-endgame except nobody died, cause im a hoe for all of the avengers***

Steve never realized how much he liked things in his mouth. Not always in a sexual way, at least not until after fighting Thanos.

After fighting for so long, bottling up his emotions was not at all how Steve needed to cope. He tried the yoga and meditation route Wanda had so kindly suggested. Yeah, after one session of hot yoga, Steve decided that it wasn't going to happen. Tony, obviously, suggested sex. Said something about it being a “healing experience for the soul”. That’s bullshit were Steve’s first thoughts when that came out of his mouth. Bucky told him to get some goats and raved about how therapeutic it was to raise them. But Steve could barely take care of himself, how would he even take care of a goat? Steve felt a hot sense of hopelessness burn against the back of his eyes as he sat on the floor of his bedroom, back pressed against the adjoined bathroom door.

“Steve?” A soft knock came from the front door. He took his thumb away from his mouth, he had resorted to subconsciously nibbling on the tip of it. Pulling himself off the door and towards the voice, he rubbed his tear-stricken cheeks in attempts to clean himself up a bit before seeing you.

“One sec, Y/N/N.”

When he opened the door, your face softened a bit before the smile that Steve, secretly, loved so much dropped off your face completely. “Stevie, what happened?”

Stevie, a nickname he hated for his entire life. A name that reminded him of the days before the super solider serum where he was a little guy getting beaten up on the streets of Brooklyn. Stevie, a nickname he loved hearing from your caring voice. Nobody else’s. 

“Just tired, Y/N” he sighed, “so,so tired.”

“Stevie,” your voice caught at the back of your throat. Seeing him in so much pain made your life turn upside down. He doesn't deserve to be in pain. “ S’there anything I can do to make you feel better?”

“Just stay with me? Please?”

You took him back into his bed and sat with him, just talking about life until his breathing turned back to normal and he seemed partially-okay. 

“Do you want to take a bath?” you asked, still stroking the blonde strands of his hair.

“Are you saying I smell?” He took his face out of the crook of your shoulder, feigning a look of hurt.

“No, punk, I meant to relax. You seemed pretty shaken up and I just wanted to help. I mean, that’s what I do when I feel down, relax in a bat-”

He cuts you off, “I appreciate it. Really, Y/N, I don’t know many people that are as loving and caring as you, sweetheart.” The nickname made a pang in your heart. You had like the super solider since you had met him, but never felt like he reciprocated the feelings. Even though you both cuddled often, and had movie nights, and he always let you beat him while sparring, and that one time you came down with a stomach bug and he fed you soup and-holy shit. Did Steve like you? “Sweetheart?”

“Huh?”

“I said, ‘A bath does sound nice’. What’s got you so suddenly zoned out?” He says, donning a smirk.

“It’s nothing. Let’s get you into that bath, mister,” you had a faux grumpy look on your face as you got up and walked to the bathroom, starting to fill the white, ceramic bathtub with warm water. “Okay, big boy. You need help getting up or are you okay?”

Rolling his eyes at your inauthentic tone, Steve pushes his tensed frame off the body and managed to stumble into the bathroom, while you following him closely to make sure he doesn't fall over from exhaustion.

“I get it, I’m old, but damn Y/N. I can walk perfectly fine,” He chuckles as he pushes himself up to sit on the counter top.

You start to fill up the bathtub with warm water, adding bubbles and lighting a few scented candles. He looked so pretty, hair sticking out in every direction, lips pink and puffy from biting them, his ocean blue eyes still misty as he looks down at his cuticles, picking them slightly. 

“Okay, I’m gonna leave so you can take this bath,” you say, shutting off the faucet, “Got it?”

“Y/N?”

“Yes, Stevie.”

“Stay, please.” His eyes were watering more than earlier. He had those puppy dog eyes, lip quivering as his voice cracked and wavered even with just a few words. He looked so vulnerable, how could you say no to him?

“Of course, Steve. I mean, the bubbles with kind of cover everything. I’ll just sit next to the tub with you, alright?” You awkwardly giggled and scratched the back of your neck. He nodded, hopping off of the counter and starting to undress himself with a wobble. “Stevie, you’re shaking like a leaf, let me help you.”

His eyes never met yours as you helped him pull his t-shirt over his head and looped your delicate fingers through the waistband of his sweatpants, dragging them down his muscular thighs. “You’re not gonna finish your job, doll?”

His boxers. The only clothes he had left on were his grey boxers. You wanted to give him privacy and not look, especially in such a broken and vulnerable state. But god, you could see the outline of his partially-hard cock through the soft cotton. You thought about what it would be like to have your mouth around his hard length, chocking on it as he rammed himself into the back of your throat.

“Ummm, I just--I thought--I mean I can---Only if you want--” The dirty thoughts clouded your brain. It made speaking a speaking a sentence almost impossible as your mouth watered just thinking about his cock.

“It was a joke, sweetheart,” he laughed heartily, “You’re too adorable.”

Pulling his boxers down his legs, he waddled tiredly over to the tub before stepping in. He groaned in pleasure at the feeling of the warm water encapsulating his exhausted body. You imagined that’s how he’d groan if you sucked his cock so hard he was seeing stars.

You were still facing the door, like you were as Steve got completely undressed. You knew if you turned around and look at him, naked and at ease, you’d jump his bones in a heartbeat. “Come sit with me, Y/N”

And you did. You turned around cautiously, like you expected, the bubbles covered his body enough for you to be able to handle yourself as you sat down next to the tub. You grabbed his hand away from his lips, running your soft fingers over his rough calloused ones. “I always see you biting your nails or cuticle or lips or your pens. Why?”

He sighed, “I’m not sure, I guess it just distracts me?” He said it more like it was a question rather than a statement. “I guess I don’t truly know why I do it, I guess I just enjoy having things in my mouth.”

You could read Steve like a book, his pupils blown with lust, his lip stuck between his teeth, a blush heating up his cheeks. You took a leap of faith.

“Yeah, like what?”

“You.”

His lips were on yours in a flurry, it took a second for you to react, but as soon as you did it felt amazing. Neither of you seemed to care about the water splashing over you as his hands trailed up your body, tugging at the hem of your shirt.

He pulls away panting, “F-Fuck, Y/N, I need you. Please. Oh my god I need you so bad,” His eyes looked as if they were welling up with tears and he looked so pretty still in the relaxing bubble bath, whimpering and whining for you. 

“God, I need you too, baby,” you stop to look in his eyes sincerely, “Are you sure you want this? I don’t want to do anything that you don’t want to do or that you will regret.” Your hand caresses his cheek.

“Just get in here with me and I’ll show you how much I want you,” he whispered, “Need you, really.”

You sighed before your hands moved shakily to take off your t shirt. As much as you wanted this, you were still scared of how the ripped super solider would feel about you and your body, As soon as your shirt was off, Steve was whimpering, dipping his hand into the soapy water to massage his aching cock. This only spurred you to take off your clothes and join him faster. 

“Did I say you could touch yourself, puppy?” Your stern voice caught him off-guard, making him pause his actions with a look of fear on his face. You step into the bathtub, straddling him. Your nails raked up his milky white thighs, trailing up his body admiring the beauty of it. “Y’Know I was planning on being nice to you because you’ve been so good to me, but you might need to be punished, baby? Do you need to punshied like a brat?”

He mewled, bowing his head in shame. You could feel him growing harder and harder by the second and you were starting to go crazy with the empty feeling inside of you that on he could fill. “No, ma’am. I’ll be good, I swear!”

“Mmmm, that’s my good boy.” Your hands slid up his chest and rested on his cheeks, hearing him preen at your praise, as you repositioned yourself over his cock. “Are you sure you want this?”

“If you dont ride me into next week right fucking now I’m going to scream, Y/N,” He breathed out with a chuckle, Grabbing your thighs, he helps you sink down on his cock. Both of you were moaning and whimpering messes by the time you were sitting at this base of him, trying to get adjusted to his large size. 

Hot tears burned at the back of his eyes as soon as you lifted yourself up off of him, only leaving the tip of him inside of you, and slamming back down on his dick. 

“Baby-please,” he whimpered, “n-need, shit, need your fingers, bad.” 

You were confused, slowing down a bit to make sure he was okay. But his puppy dog eyes showed that he was okay. Slowly taking your wrist from his cheek, he puts your fingers in his warm mouth. Moaning around them and swirling his tongue around them. He did it the same way you always dreamed about sucking his dick, chocking and gagging on his length.

“Yeah, you’re such a needy little slut for me, for this pussy. Look at you, so ruined and fucked out just because I’m fucking you.” He moaned sensually at your words making your core tighten impossibly. 

You had gotten a good idea as you were riding him. Slowly, you start to thrust your hand in and out of his mouth, watching the saliva dribble out of the corners of his mouth as he choked on you. The band in your tummy starts tightening as you feel yourself getting close. 

“Shit, fuck, baby, I’m gonna come. Oh my god, you’re make me come with your beautiful cock, puppy. So good for me, aren’t you?” Your free hand dips into the water, cupping his balls and rolling them around your soft palm.

He nods, choking on your nimble finger yet again his you massage his sensitive balls. “Gonna come,” he slurred and spit around you.\, “almost there.”

“I didn’t” you moaned as you feel his balls tighten, fall back down on his cock at a faster pace, “give you permission to do that. I thought you were going to be good for me?”

“I am” he spluttered loudly, “i am good, I swear. Just please let me come. I need it, oh shit, mommy.”

The name went straight to your core, making you grow weak as you feebly give him permission to come as you come undone with one more bounce on his large member. His hands come up to grope your breasts as he come with hot spurts inside of your tight cunt. 

“Oh my god,” you stifle a giggle as you stand up on shaky legs. You wordlessly helped him out of the tub and wrapped him in a white towel, walking him to bed while you dried yourself off. Collapsing on the bed with a grunt, the solider hollds out his hand to you, signalling you to lay down with him. You could easily tell he was still coming down from his sex high, starting to regain his self back.

“I dont know what possessed me to,” he pauses, trying to figure out a way to word the rest of his sentence, “to suck, I guess, on your hand. I’m sorry, Y/N, that was really weird of me.”

“What do’ya mean, baby? Having an oral fixation isn’t something to be ashamed of.” The words make him smile with droopy eyes, tucking his head into your neck and starting to fall asleep, happy and comfortable, cuddling you.

“And to be honest, puppy. I think it’s really hot.”

[niksfics]

↬ FATE

↬ PAIRINGS: kenma x f!reader (side aka rebound mention) miya atsumu x f!reader

↬ WARNINGS: a whole lotta angst, breakup, it’s an online relationship, kenma is cold and hurts ur feelings

↬ SUMMARY: your relationship with kenma really had felt like the last one. He was it, turns out he didn’t have similar feelings.

↬ A/N: alright loves!! This isn’t proofread at all it’s 2 in the morning I’ll edit when I wake up, butttt Thanks to my lovely ex girlfriend you are now being graced with this steaming pile of trash. (Lovely was not meant sarcastically at all she is in fact very lovely.) Ngl almost, if not all of this story is about my relationship with my ex gf. This is how I cope people. ￫ It’s taken me awhile to actually be able to right something that’s why things kinda stopped. Tbh after she broke up with me it’s been very hard for me to write so hopefully this helps! And I hope you enjoy!! I would also just like to say if it feels a lil weird it’s cause these are things I’ve actually written in my notes I tweaked it a little to fit the story but it’s straight from the source 😩

WC | 2.5K

You sighed as you opened your notes app. Your eyes scanning over all of the little facts and quirks he had told you about himself. All the stuff you’d wanted to remember. The stuff that had seemed so important to you before. Now it was meaningless, almost like facts about a stranger. Almost as if you hadn’t spent four months learning about and growing with eachother.

You scrolled down a little bit right under, how his favorite marvel character is Spider-Man and you chewed on your lip. Your fingers hovering above the keyboard on your phone. You looked over the facts again. The things he dislikes and the stuff he adores, the things he likes to collect to the way he feels passionately about a certain topic. You begin to type.

Friday June 25th 2022 12:22 Am

I cried again tonight, because I still love you. It’s been a month and six days since we broke up. It feels like there’s a hole in my chest. You seem to be doing fine though, so I’m happy for you! This is the second time since we’ve broken up that I’ve felt actual physical emotional pain in my chest. Remember when I told you how bad it hurt after we broke up? Remember how you didn’t even ask if I was ok? Didn’t even bother to answer. Do you remember that? I remember. I’ve thought about it every day since. I remember it being so bad I genuinely thought I was having a heart attack. Wasn’t until I’d called tetsu crying that he’d told me it was just emotional and I should probably try to relax.

I read through our old messages. I’ve never wanted something back so bad. Never wanted to beg anyone to stay till now. I wish you loved me like I love you. I wish I hadn’t grown so attached, wish I hadn’t fallen so deeply into love with you. I wish it wasn’t my fault that we broke up. I wish I wasn’t so fucking scared. I wish I was fearless. Wish I could rise into love bravely. I wish I was brave when it came to you. I keep telling myself it was me. It was me not you. You didn’t love me anymore. You don’t love me anymore and you’re just too nice to say that. So you told me in the only way I could handle. Except you hadn’t used the words you should have. You got bored. We both know it’s true. You were bored of it, and I don’t blame you. I know we’ll never talk again, and part of me is so glad. Another part of me forces myself to read through all our messages though. I wish I could just tell you one last time. I love you.

You sighed saving it before closing out of it. Tears you hadn’t known were falling finally became known to you as they streamed down your cheeks. Your eyes puffy as you wet your lips, the salt of them coating your tongue. You were bitter and so were your tears. I briefly wondered what he was doing right now. Probably playing a video game. You knew his schedule all to well by now. Probably testing out a new game for his stream.

A new set of fresh tears fell as you remembered how you used to call him right before he went on. Being lulled to sleep by his occasionally curses and the clicking oh his controller or his keyboard.

You never expected things to end this way. You really thought he was the last one. Yes it had only been four months, but the way he made you feel. The way that it had felt. It had felt final, and you’d been friends before you even started dating.

You sniffle moving yourself to the kitchen to poor yourself a glass of water as you remembered how nervous you were when you first texted him. You had acumulated quite the crush on him back in high school. As Inarazaki’s manager you were required to go to the games, and even after your team lost you had stuck around. Watched him play and cheered him on. Two weeks later you had begun to text, as friends of course. It wasn’t until four months ago that you’d gotten together.

Your anniversary was only two days prior to your break up. You both had never been one to even care about that stuff. You had agreed early on in the relationship that we wouldn’t do anything due to the distance, and the business of our schedules. You were never one for remembering things like anniversaries anyways.

He really did feel like the one. Sometimes you just know. Sometimes you can just feel it. Like, you know that feeling you get when you know something is off or you know for sure something is about to happen even without being told it’s going to. That’s what it felt like to be with kozume kenma.

You thought you knew, you thought this time, this time its for real. You thought it was finally safe to say, that he was the one. You both had even admitted to looking for each others initials in those stupid soulmate tik tok videos.

You were finally in a mature relationship with someone you could talk about anything to. You had gotten so caught up in it, that you didn’t even see the end creeping up on you.

↝

You’d finally gained the courage to text him again. Unfortunately it was in a drunken daze. Your hands shaking as you fumbled with your phone typing things you’d come to regret in the morning. You’d sent him a series of texts telling him how much you missed him, how you didn’t understand how he was so okay. You had been a wreck that night. One of your friends puking in her toilet as you cried. You were happy of course that he was doing so well, but you’d been a wreck for so long and he hadn’t even changed. You told him you wished you could be okay.

When you’d awoken the next morning hair knotted in a complete mess and wiping drool from your chin your heart had sunk even lower. His response was cold. You knew that kenma could be cold. You knew that it was just who he was, but this particular text had felt so unfeeling and unfamiliar, it was as if he hadn’t even sent it himself. He had only ever talked like this to you once and that was when you first became friends all those years ago.

Kozume ❤️

Hey, it’s okay. And yeah you see what I choose to put up. I could be better. But I choose to stay optimistic and busy. Sorry that things are this way.

You had never seen so many periods in a text before. He only used grammar like that when he was peeved, and maybe you were wrong, maybe he’d done that on purpose, but it had hurt so bad. It had caused an ache so deep in your chest that you weren’t sure if you’d ever even dated him at all.

Yeah.

It was the only thing you could bring yourself to respond back with. How were you supposed to respond to that? You’d stared at it for so long and after you’d sent it you wished you had said more. Wished you would’ve said something more insightful than a simple, heartbroken, “yeah.”

Not too long later there was another ping and you held your breath. His name briefly appearing across your screen.

Yeah. I could be better. But I hope you do well soon. I’m sorry that I can’t really do much to help out

And of course you did the only thing you could do. Deflect. Pretend like you hadn’t said what you’d said not even fourteen hours ago.

No it’s fine. I’m fine. You don’t have to apologize. I’m sorry that you could be doing better.

He left you on seen. You knew you sounded like an asshole. At least to you, you felt like an asshole. Why couldn’t you have come up with something else. Why couldn’t you tell him the truth. Tell him how you felt. Tell him that you didn’t think you should be broken up anymore. That the month long cruel joke was over and you were ready to spend your nights falling asleep to him playing video games again. You didn’t though, and you never would. You’re not brave enough, too prideful to even try.

You swallowed down the bile rising in your throat as you realized even if you did beg him. Begged him to take you back. Tell him that you still love him. You were too late, and you just couldn’t be selfish when it comes to him. He is over you and it was so plainly obvious. You know that deep down. Know that he’s moved on, and it kills you inside. So you did the only thing you could do. Try and put it into words.

So as you lay in bed the warm body you let occupy your space sound asleep beside you, his toned blonde hair tousled slightly and you sighed. Finally away from the shenanigans of your friends you took a deep breath before you closed your eyes.

You opened up your notes app again and scrolled past the last entry. You swallowed again as you blinked the tears out of your eyes. Your thumbs beginning to move before you even gave them permission.

Wednesday June 30th 2022 1:39 Am

Here I am again. Stuck. Stuck in the same place I’ve been for so long. You know, I write so beautifully when I’m broken. I’m most of my best work is written when I’m being torn apart. But I just, I can’t seem to find the words. I can’t seem to put it into a document and turn out little story into a different story to cope. Can’t seem to write it out. Can’t seem to move on.

I hovered over the unfollow button on your page today, to keep myself from scrolling through your things again. To keep myself from getting hurt. So I don’t have to be reminded. I want to delete it. Delete where we officially met. On a chat through my screen. I wanna wipe the messages clean. And I’ve tried. Oh how I’ve tried. But I can’t.

I want to delete our conversations. The hours long talks we had, but then, what happens afterwards? What keeps the memories alive. I’d never been so in love with someone before. I’ve never actually…. Been in love before. I thought I’d been in love, but it didn’t feel like that, and losing them never hurt like this. Losing someone has never hurt this bad before.

I’ve never felt the emptiness you left so deep in my very being with anyone I’ve ever met before. I can’t seem to pull myself together. And it’s pathetic I know. It’s pathetic that I’m still here. In the same place I was a month ago. It’s about to be two months we’ve haven’t been together. I’m hurting. Hurting so bad. It’s painful to look at you.

I haven’t deleted the photos even though I probably should. They’re still tucked away in an album in my camera roll labeled “us <3” the one one I made specially just for you. The way I’d been so excited when I was finally ready to tell my friends. I even have this stupid notes folder from when we were dating where I wrote all the little things about you that I never wanted to forget. I find you so endearing. Everything you do. I just couldn’t help but right it down to keep it safe so it never leaves my mind. So that I never forget. But now, forgetting is all I want to do.

I never thought there’d be a time in my life where I was more emotionally stunted that I normally. So stunted I can’t even put this, our split up, into words. Make it something entertaining for somebody else to read. Write a book about it. My publicist keeps asking when the sequel for my book will be done. I don’t know if it’ll ever be finished. I can’t do the one thing I’ve always been good at. I’m crying as I write this.

And I wish it would just end here in this little notes app. Wish the love would die in here. I always think I’m over you and then I see you again, and nowadays your everywhere. A very big hit and I’m happy for you and your success, but seeing you makes my heart squeeze in my chest.

I think I’m over you until I play that stupid fucking game that causes me to scream at my phone, or my laptop in frustration, but I just can’t seem to delete it because I know it’s something that you love. That show we used to talk about. I know you know which one, I can’t seem to watch it without thinking of what was. You’ve ruined it forever cause now it only reminds me of you. I know you’ll never see this, but I like to imagine you can. That my time for closure has somehow come.

When you told me you were sorry that things were this way, it was a real slap in the face. It stopped my false hope. My wishing. It all came to a halt. I’m glad. Glad that you’re happier. That you’re better without me. But god, now I’m so fucked up and I can’t even talk to you.

You were the only person I had left. The only one who understood me. And now you’re gone. You took a part of me with you that night. A part that I’ll never get back. I should’ve known that you would leave. I’ve never been able to get someone to stay for longer than three to four months.

I thought I could let my guard down though. I thought we were in the clear. I’d thought finally. Finally someone is gonna stay. I thought you were my person. I still think that to this day. I thought we were gonna make it. And now I’m with this guy I don’t even like. He’s not you, he doesn’t act like you. He doesn’t like video games like you do.

He doesn’t talk to me like you do. Like you did. But you know how it ended I don’t need to put it here. Unfortunately I’ll always love you even if you don’t love me. This is so scattered, I’m sorry I couldn’t make you happy.

With that you closed the app and put down your phone. Plugging in it and as it dinged miya atsumu rolled over in his sleep. He reached for you his hands wrapping around your waist to tug you against his strong body.

His gravely voice whispering through sleep, “mmm finally decided to come to bed?” You hum moving an arm under on of his to wrap around his thin waist. “Mhm, thought you might need the company.” You began to draw little shapes and letters against his back as he chuckled, “oh yea? How thoughtful of you princess.”

Suddenly it was quiet and your closed eyes opened to his wide brown ones, his eyebrows furrowing .

“Did you just spell kozume on my back?”

[dissociativesworld]

Unexpected Matrimony

Pairing: Captain Rex x reader

Word Count: ~1.9K

Tags: NSFW, slow-burn-ish (familiar with each other before the story), marriage for the mission, Rex sucks at flirting, reader teases the shit out of him, both are oblivious, PiV (wrap it up in rl), cum outside (whoa I know), some dom energy from Rex, not edited because this got rewritten three times already

A/N: Kinda find Rex hard to write, not being he's not amazing but because I feel like his character is a little more complex emotionally than some of the other clones? (I feel the same way about Echo, I'd love to write him but shit there's so many facets) idk either way - enjoy

Story below the cut

“So how’s it feel being the only clone trooper to be legally married?” You giggle, taking a sip of wine.

You had no idea why you and Rex getting married was so important to the mission but Anakin seemed pressed that you would say no. So much so that he didn’t tell either of you until Ahsoka let it slip on the ride here. While initially annoyed, you enjoyed Rex’s shocked face way too much.

“What the matter Captain? The idea of marrying me that appalling?” You elbowed him in the ribs, earning a hearty laugh from his crew.

He didn’t respond but looked even more flustered at your jesting. Well, there were certainly worse men in the Republic to be forced to marry than him.

Rex’s nervous chuckle brought you back to the moment.

“I have to admit, I never thought that would be something I experienced.” He rubbed the back of his head like he did when nervous.

Since when did you know that? You caught yourself. Being friends with Anakin and Padme meant you got more face time with the 501st than normal civilians so you and Rex weren’t strangers. You’d even accompanied them to 79s on more than one occasion. But Rex, while there, had always hung back a bit while you were there. Or at least that’s what his team told you.

Now it was just the two of you sitting in a honeymoon suite on some planet you’d never been to before while Anakin and the rest of the squad were traipsing around completing the mission. Maybe afterward he’d actually explain why you two were just sitting here. Surely Rex would be more useful helping out or at least happier than he seemed to be in your presence.

“Still bummed that it had to be me?” You circled back to your earlier joke.

Rex glanced up at you, his brown eyes searching your face. His face was hard to read, probably got plenty of practice with a general like Anakin.

“I definitely didn’t imagine it being you. But I wouldn’t consider that a bad thing.” His voice trailed off as he spoke, you almost couldn’t hear the last part.

“Aw well, I’m glad I’m not a complete letdown.” You laughed, happy to see you earned another blush from the man. “I guess the guys will never let you hear the end of this, huh?”

“I don’t mind. I get to rub it in their faces if anything.” Rex mumbled into his drink, a pink tint still coloring his face.

You giggled, biting your lower lips as you watched him. The muscle in his jaw was tensed as he swallowed, the tip of his tongue flicking across his lips. For a clone, he was so distinct and not just from the blond hair. The way he held himself was different, you’d noticed it the second you met him and he hadn’t disappointed since. You found her eyes dipping lower, enjoying the new sight of him without the top pieces of his armor on.

“You’re staring.” Rex’s voice brought you back to reality yet again.

“I can’t help it, you’re pretty good-looking you know.” You smirked, lifting your glass back up to your lips.

“You’re one to talk.” He chuckled. “You ever wonder why the boys are always inviting you out?”

You scoffed with a giggle, “here I thought it was because of my impeccable sense of humor.”

“I mean, you’re so much more than beautiful,” there was the neck scratch again. “You really haven’t noticed their flirting?”

You paused, considering the question.

“Nope, I just assumed they’re like that with all women.” You giggled, pausing a moment.

Maybe you should just go for it. What’s the harm? The poor guy was already married to you.

“To be honest I was probably watching you more than listening to them.” You feigned a cough before taking another sip of your drink.

Rex’s head snapped up.

“Why is that?”

“I told you, you’re a handsome guy.” You giggled.

Rex glanced back down at the floor for a second before standing from where he was leaning. Your eyes followed him, watching the way he moved toward you the way he always did. Shoulder’s back, spine straight, chin up. He paused in front of you before holding out a hand.

You took it without hesitation, allowing yourself to be pulled to your feet curious what he was up to. Maybe the impassive face wasn’t such a good thing. At least to you.

Rex inhaled sharply, this was the closest you’d been to him besides the wedding ceremony. He smelled like the military issue soap you’d come to associate with the troopers and you could catch a whiff of the whiskey he’d been drinking, a wedding gift from Anakin. Or a condolence gift, who knew with him.

“I’d like to kiss you if you’re not opposed,” Rex spoke formally, previous relaxed chatter seemed to be forgotten.

You paused for a moment, surprised at the sudden forward approach. Never once before did you think he would ever be genuinely interested in you. Especially after his teams’ comments about him being standoffish whenever you were around.

Rex’s blank face faltered, it was only a second but you saw the momentary collapse in confidence.

Fuck it.

You reached up, grabbing his shoulders before pushing your lips against his. He didn’t move for a second, seemly surprised by your actions. After a moment you felt arms circle your waist and pull you closer against his chest. You melted into the embrace, feeling the sinewy muscle through his blacks.

He reluctantly pulled away, eyes soft as he stared into yours.

“Why’d you stop?” You asked quietly, eyes flicking between his searching for an answer.

His lips crashed back into yours making your heart leap in your chest. A hand went to the back of your head, fingers knotting in your hair as his lips moved against yours. You looped your arms around his neck both of you pulling each other into yourselves.

Rex’s hands went to your thighs, lifting them so you could circle your legs around his waist. You paid no mind as he moved, just focused on his mouth as his tongue danced with yours.

Suddenly he broke away and dropped you onto the bed in the middle of the room. You gazed up at the captain to see him staring back with an adoring gaze that you had never seen before, not that you were complaining.

“I don’t know where you got the idea that I don’t like you.” Rex spoke in a husky tone. “But hopefully this clears that up.”

He leaned down and caged you down to the bed with his body, lips back on yours. You could feel your lips becoming raw from the attention but you didn’t want it to stop. It wasn’t long though before he moved to kiss down your jaw then neck to your shoulder where he bit down gently, sucking at your soft flesh.

You could feel the heat pool between your legs, your hands moving to his back as you moan. He bit down a little harder and you dug your nails into his back. The rumble of his groan could be felt against your skin before he moved to continue trailing kisses down between your breasts to your navel. You mentally cursed the dress that you were wearing, it was going to take way too long to get it off and you did not want to wait that long.

Rex on the other hand didn’t seem to mind as he reached for your calf, hand moving up your leg and under the dress skirts before stopping right above your knee. His eyes met yours again, unspoken question hanging in the air.

And then his comm rung.

“You have got to be kidding me,” you blurted out, sexual frustration clouding your mind.

Rex chuckled before reluctantly getting up and retrieving the device from where his armor was. He walked back over to where you were, now sitting up.

“General Anakin?” Rex answered.

“Hey Rex - sorry for ditching you two, we needed a convincing cover for being planet-side. Are you two both still alive?”

You could hear hushed laughter in the background, gazing up at Rex you could see his face starting to flush again. He was so lucky color didn’t show well over holo or else he’d never hear the end of it.

“Yes sir.” He answered curtly, eyes darting down to look at you with a hint of a smile on his face.

“Good, we’ll be back in about a half-hour to get you guys. Hang in there.” Anakin said before signing off.

Both of you stood in silence for a moment before you smirked and stood up next to him.

“I don’t know about you but I think that means we still have some time to kill.”

Rex reached around your back to unlace the back when you pushed him down onto the bed. He looked up at you with an arched brow.

“Still not enough to get this thing off,” your smirk remaining on your face as you move to straddle his waist.

His eyes widened momentarily before returning your smirk and pulling you into another bruising kiss. You moved your hips just enough for him to be able to push the waistband of his blacks down before you felt his hard cock press against your damp panties. His fingers pushed the fabric aside as you reached down to guide his cock.

You could feel your own blush crawling along your cheeks as you watched Rex’s face. His eyes were hungry as they locked between your legs as you sat on his cock, he moaned and dropped his head back onto the bed as you bottomed out. Moving your hips slightly earned another loud groan from him emboldening you to set a slow teasing pace.

Suddenly he gripped your hips before sitting up so your bodies were flush against each other again.

“We don’t have time for that mesh’la and I’m not leaving here until I feel you cum on my cock.” His hips gyrating into yours, making sure to hit every sensitive spot inside you.

His hand went to your clit as you rode him, the heat coiling quickly in your belly. You could hear him murmuring in Mando’a as your pussy clenched around him, the tension threatening to snap.

Rex’s comm rang again.

You paused, beyond frustrated.

“I didn’t say stop mesh’la,” Rex growled, hips snapping up into you again encouraging you to keep going.

“But Skyw-” You started before Rex grabbed the back of your head, pulling your face to his in a searing kiss.

The tension building snapped and you felt your orgasm wash over you like a wave, your legs shaking from the force. Rex pushed his hips up into you twice more before pulling you off him, ropes of cum spilling down his cock as you two panted.

Rex moved you to his side as he got up and grabbed the comm, yet again, slipping his cock into his pants before answering.

You didn’t bother to eavesdrop this time, laying back on the bed letting the blissed-out feeling numb your senses. Soon Rex was standing over you, a genuine smile on his face.

“It’s time to go mesh’la.” His voice was soft, as he stroked your still exposed thigh.

You smiled back, sighing deeply. “One more kiss?”

Rex chuckled, grabbing your hand to help you stand. He pressed his forehead against yours before placing a soft kiss on your lips.

“There will be plenty more later mesh’la."

[keiarchived]

Hey, congrats on 500! Can I get Yandere!God!Hawks kidnapping priestess!reader from his temple to keep as his wife, including forcing immortality on her because she was his most faithful. -🧶 Anon

Thank you bub! ♥️ ALSO YES TO YOUR CONCEPT 🥴💦 thats fucking hot 🥵

yandere!god!Hawks x priestess!reader

warnings: yandere, dubcon/noncon, kidnapping, power abuse, manipulation, blood play, size difference kinda, cum inflation, master kink, no editing, sleepyish writing

words: 1.1k

For as long as you could remember, your people have always worshiped this red winged higher being; Hawks. A God of freedom and compassion. He is said to have gorgeous honey blonde hair that matches those sharp eyes, large scarlet wings that let him soar through the sky like a Phoenix. It is unclear how accurate these descriptions passed down generations of your family are, it could’ve easily been made up just to give everyone a clearer vision on the God they are worshipping. But only for you to find out your ancestors weren’t wrong, “So you’re the new priestess?”

The first time Hawks reached out to you, personally, shivers crawls down your spine as goosebumps scattered. His voice is smoother than you’d imagine, tone lay back almost to the extend of lazy and well he is as charming as people made him to be, there are no doubts about that. “I-I am and you are-“

“Hawks.”

It became some kind of tradition for this higher being to throw new priestess off guard whenever he could, they are new to this almost in a naive way. ‘I’m prepared for this.’ As most would tell their elder, but nothing could prepare them for the first time Hawks would reach out to them like he had done so many times before. After all, they will be working with him for as long as they could so why not have a little fun whilst he’s at it? Surely it can’t hurt anyone.

“You’re a cute one, quivering and looking like you’re about to cry.” Hawks taunts, lips curling into this playful smirk as he closed the distance between the two of you. Stalking over ever so slowly until your back have meet the cold wall, he had been observing you from a distance ever since you walked this earth. But you don’t know that nor do you know the very same God you’re worshipping have taken a personal liking in you, “I’m j-just surprised, no one told me you’d just show up like this. At least give me a heads up sign or something.” As expected, you are different from all those stuffy suffocating and he is amused. No one have spoken to him like this for a while, not a human like you at least.

This is going to be fun.

Hawks only ever make occasional appearances whenever a pristesss calls for him either for his help or just to make a offering, but lately he’s been dropping by more often than usual with the excuses of ‘there’s some business nearby I need to take care of’ whilst in reality Hawks came to see you.

“Who’s that guy?” Your guardian angel asks, eyeing the man up and down, wanting to do nothing more than just wipe that awful pink off his face. How dare he even attempt to flirt with you? When he knows you are his and his alone. “Just a childhood friend.” With a little bit of a crush but Hawks doesn’t need to know that, it’s not like you’re hiding it from him on purpose. “You wouldn’t lie to me would you little one?” Clearly, he is unimpressed by your answer. Having to study and observe you enough from a distance, Hawks knows when you’re lying and this is one of those times.

“Of course not.” Perhaps you should’ve just been honest, rather than to face the jealousy of a God.

Hawks is known to be a trickster among the Gods, so it was no surprise when he decide to appear out of thin air just as you and that so called childhood friend was getting way too comfortable with each other, scooping you right up as though you weight nothing more than a feather. “You’re coming with me and I am not taking no as an answer, little one.” Still baffled by what happened, the next you know you are gone. Nowhere near surface of the Earth but soaring through the sky, “Hawks!”

Not that he could hear you though.

There has only ever been a few people Hawks seems worthy to be his wife and to become immortal, spending forever with him, isn’t that wonderful? Countless of people had tried to impressive him whether that be Gods or mortals alike but no one is as perfect as you, body arching and quivering in ways he had never seen before. “Beautiful...” Hawks whispered, tracing your delicate looking spine whilst the other curls around those soft locks reminding him to be careful or otherwise you just may break whilst he continue to plungs himself into your welcoming cunt.

The only sounds lolling from your mouth are of nothing but pleasure and lust, of course you tried to reason with Hawks. Saying how absurd it is with what he have done, but Hawks have his way with words. He always do. Making you believe this is the best possible outcome, how he have his eyes on you for the longest time and want you as his wife because you are the most faithful as well as beautiful among them all.

“Cry for me baby, that’s it. Fucking scream my name.” A low taunting chuckle rumbled at Hawks’ chest, mercy is now a privilege. Expecting to be treated like a princess is nothing but a naive thought after the lie you fed him, “You want to be with me right my little priestess? Or would you rather have that pathetic of a man as your husband?” The blonde mocks, chuckles soon turns into a echoing laugh instead. Bouncing all those pillars like these sweet delicious moans , “Y-You! I want to be with you!” Shameless, where did your pride and fight go? Devoured by the same God who’s currently fucking you stupid, stretching you beyond anyone have ever before.

“Good girl.” Despite the roughness of his action, Hawks praises you. “Good girl deserves rewards don’t you think?” Who doesn’t like a little reward once in a while?

As if Hawks couldn’t get any more brutal and cruel, his rhythm soon became bruising against your hips. “Ma-master!” You cried, every nudge at that ring of muscle edges those tears to stain your cheeks further with every sobs passing thought those swollen lips. “Take it all my love, take it!” God, if only there is a way to describe this fullness as your belly well with his cum. Pumping you full and to the brim as those eyes rolls back, lips gaping with a silent moan. “Fuck... fuck fuck...” If that’s how Hawks falls from his grace, so be it. 

Fingers lodge between your plum lips, forcing them open as a devilish smirk stretch across his lips. “That’s it, drink up baby. Every last drop of it.” Baffled by what Hawks meant but it didn’t take long until you could taste the iron from his fingers, keeping your tongue pressed harshly against your jaw. Forcing ever last drop of his blood down your throat, drowning from this enteral crimson.

“Rest up for now, my love. We have a long day ahead of us.”  

[mandoalorian]

Pain Is For The Living [Javier Peña x F!Reader] - Chapter 3

Summary: Sex work in the heat of 1980’s Colombia was never going to be a walk in the park. Especially not when you had a crush on your number one client, agent Javier Peña. You’d been warned about him and his reputation, but after one very specific incident that would change your life forever, you find yourself attached to him like never before and you’d do anything to make him yours. Even if it means endangering your own life.

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Javier being kind of an asshole, allusions to sex, a ~moment~ in the bathtub, mention of PTSD and trauma, food mention, drink mention, ...feelings?

Word count: 4200

Author’s Note: It’s been so long! I’m sorry. It’s been pretty hectic and I’ve been doing my best to wrap up my other series’ and complete requests. I appreciate you all for sticking around and asking for updates on this chapter. I’ve mentioned it a few times, but PIFTL is very difficult to write. It deals with very sensitive issues and so not only can it be mentally draining to write, it takes a lot of time to research and edit. I won’t give up on this series though. I adore this story and can’t wait to share it all with you.

Pain Is For The Living Masterlist

* Reblogs appreciated and my ko-fi is linked in my bio if you wish to support my writing!

Nina pushed off Javi quicker than a bullet leaving a gun, grabbing a blanket from her bed and wrapping it around her naked body. “What the fuck Javier?” she spat.

Jesus Christ -- Javier had never made that mistake before. Moaning someone else’s name? He was better than that. It took him a moment to just process what happened, Nina’s yelling and accusations only a blur in the background. “Who is she, Javier?” Nina questioned, her tone venomous. That was enough to snap the agent out of his thoughts. Her cold eyes burned like wildfire as she glared at him. “Who. Is. She?”

“Uh…” Javier racked his brains to try and figure out a way he’d be able to save this situation. But the longer he took to answer Nina’s question, the more infuriated she got. “Informant.”

That wasn’t exactly a lie. You’d agreed to help him. But whether or not you’d actually be able to provide Javier with any relevant information was a different ordeal in itself.

“You’re still sleeping with your informants?” Nina gasped a little, clicking her tongue and shaking her head in disappointment. “Why am I not surprised?”

Javier sighed and rolled his eyes, pulling himself off Nina’s bed and grabbing his denim jeans that had been previously discarded on the floor. “C’mon Ni, don’t get jealous now. We haven’t been together for like, a year.” Javier hummed, zipping up his pants. His eyes darted around the room as he tried to locate his shirt. Maybe there was no fixing this. For a split second, he’d forgotten why things had ended with Nina, but now it was becoming clear again. He just had to get outta there. He needed air, and a smoke. 

“I let you cum inside of me and you moan out another woman’s name!” Nina exclaimed, shaking her fists in the air. “Javier Peña I fucking hate you!”

Javier offered Nina a small shrug of his shoulders before finding his shirt and buttoning it up. “I’ll see you around Ni.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Called him seventeen times Con, he’s taking the piss.” Steve grimaced, aggressively flicking to the next page of the Bogotá local newspaper.

“Will you just calm down? He’s our friend. We’re doing him a favour. He'll be back soon,” Connie sighed, glancing back over to you, where you had been sleeping on the sofa for the past two and a half hours. “She sleeps better than our Liv,” Connie noted. “Wish we could sleep as well as that.”

Steve hummed in agreement. “I’ll go check on Liv.” He announced at the mention of his daughter. He’d put her down for a nap about an hour ago in Javier’s bedroom.

“No honey, I’ll go. You keep working on your crossword,” Connie giggled before pointing her index finger into one of the blank squares. “Fourteen down: Los huevos revueltos.” 

“I would’ve got that,” Steve huffed, scrambling to write the answer down. He definitely would not have. The Spanish puzzle was made for infants and yet he was still struggling.

“Whatever Murph.” Connie rolled her eyes, leaving the table where they were both sitting at. 

The second she left the room, you woke up in a cold sweat, feeling dizzy and shaking from a nightmare you didn’t want to remember. Your cheeks were wet, tear stained and goose pimples pricked at your arms. You checked your surroundings in a fluster, not recognising the brown leather couch you were laying on, or the oak wood coffee table in front of you, or even the television pushed against the cream coloured walls. A man with blonde hair and mustache raced over to you, and dropped to his knees, holding you by your shoulders.

“Are you okay?” The man quizzed, his blue eyes searching to meet yours. You were horrified, the feeling of an unfamiliar man grabbing you like this. You screamed in terror, and defensively dug your fingernails into his skin. The man yelped out and stumbled back from you, hitting the coffee table in the process. “Fuck-- shit-- ow--” He gasped. “Connie!” he called. “Connie, she's awake!”

The way he yelled and screamed your name... it was like you were some kind of monster. You hated it.

The sound of footsteps padding into the living room alerted you, and a woman, not much older than you, knelt down in front of you. But unlike the man, she knew well enough to keep her distance. “Hi sweetheart, are you alright? I’m Connie, don’t be afraid. You’re okay.” she assured you, her voice sweet like honey. 

“Where am I?” you choked out, tears filling your eyes. 

Connie hesitated for a moment. “She doesn’t remember where she is?” Steve asked Connie with concern, scratching the back of his neck as he pulled himself together and shuffled over to you. Taking a note out of Connie’s book, he kept his distance. Connie briefly explained to her husband how your behaviour right now actually made a lot of sense, and how victims of PTSD can often have ‘memory blanks’.

“Darling, I’m Connie Murphy. I’m a nurse. And this is my husband Steve. Steve is DEA. He’s friends with Javier Peña. You know that name, right? Javier Peña.” She repeated his name slow and steady, allowing you to take your time to process the words. Javier Peña. Just like that, a wave of calmness washed over you. His name felt like home. It felt like safety. 

“I know Javi.” you whispered in admittance, shuffling around on the sofa. You could feel your lips trembling. It was strange. You were new to Bogotá, and you didn’t really have any friends, other than the late Rosa. And well, Javier too. He was a client, sure, but he was always kind and gentle with you, unlike your other customers. You’d like to think of him as a friend. Right now, he was the only person you had. 

“This is Javier’s place. He’s going to watch over you for a little while, okay?” Connie explained. “We are your friends and we’re not going to hurt you. I promise,” the lady soothed. She turned to Steve. “Bring over Olivia.”

“What-- why?” Steve quizzed, his eyebrows furrowing together in bewilderment.

“She needs to know she can trust us. Bring over Olivia,” Begrudgingly following his wife’s instruction, a wary Steve stood up and padded into Javier’s bedroom where Olivia had been left to sleep in a small, transportable crib. He picked up his daughter and carried her into the living room. “This is my daughter Olivia,” Connie told you quietly, smoothing out Olivia’s black hair. “She’s one year old. Would you like to hold her?”

“Connie are you fucking crazy?” Steve snapped.

“I’m a fucking nurse Steve, I know what I’m doing.” Connie hissed back, taking Olivia from her father. She looked back over to you and her deep frown turned into a comforting smile as she slowly handed you the baby. Connie’s hands never left Olivia, and she made an effort to support her head as you cradled the sleeping baby in your arms.

Holding Olivia Murphy gave you a feeling of responsibility. If Steve and Connie were dangerous, they would never have shown you their daughter, let alone allow you to hold her in your arms. You contemplated everything and although it was hard, you decided that you probably could trust them. Still, it raised the question: “Where is Javi?”

Steve shook his head incredulously and stood up, grabbing the phone from one of the side tables and dialling his partner’s number again. You didn’t know what was wrong with the blonde haired agent, but you got the impression that he did not want to be here.

“Steve is going to call him, again. He went to get groceries. I’m sure he won’t be long.” Connie informed softly, and you nodded your head. 

“Your baby is adorable,” you announced quietly and Connie smiled, thankful you were beginning to talk a little more. Seemingly, you’d calmed down, which meant Connie’s comforting approach had worked.

“She’s a real gem, isn’t she?”

Javier was just a couple of blocks away when his carphone began to ring. He eyed up the display and read the ‘17 missed calls’, cursing under his breath. He clicked the accept button and continued to drive.

“Javier Peña. You prick.”

“Hi bestie.” Javier grinned, shaking his head at Steve’s introduction. Typical.

“You left us here for three fucking hours with some random girl -- who, by the way, is incredibly unstable, Javier. I don’t know what you’re getting yourself into, but I’m not here for it. Where the fuck have you been? No, forget that. You better be home in the next ten minutes and you better have the ingredients for my fucking paella.” Steve growled before angrily slamming the phone down on the hook.

Javier couldn’t help but chuckle. Steve Murphy was ever the drama queen.

As he drove down the street, he made one final attempt to shrug off what had happened with Nina. Okay, yeah, saying your name was a little uncalled for. But she always got so needy and possessive -- even when she had no reason to be. Nina and Javier weren’t exclusive and hadn’t been for a long time, so, what was her deal?

What was even more concerning to Javi, was the fact he said your name in the first place. Nina looked rather similar to you. Not identical, but from a distance, there was a chance she could’ve been mistaken. Only, when he was pounding into her from behind, he wasn’t at a distance. In fact he couldn’t have been any closer, and yet he still said your name. He was really struggling to justify it. 

Sure, he’d been thinking about you when he was inside of her. But was that really so bad? You were clearly on his mind, and Javier just pinned that down to the fact he’d been out all day investigating the crime scene at the brothel. He’d been with you, he’d held you and comforted you. Fuck, even before noon he had been fucking your mouth. It wasn’t exactly unreasonable…

But moaning out your name… shit, could Javier really get past that? Was there any way to justify that -- other than the blatant and glaring honest reason that Javier refused to admit. He wouldn’t even let his mind go there. Whatever, it was fine. He was home now. The end of a long day.

Javier grabbed the groceries from the back of his car and buzzed himself into the DEA apartment block where he and Steve were living. Making his way over to his apartment, he opened the front door and set the brown paper bag of ingredients down on the kitchen counter. When he got home, Connie was just finishing up painting your nails a beautiful sea blue gel colour. She turned around and she looked up at Javier. Your eyes, however, were already fixated on him the second he entered the room.

“Where’s Steve?” Javier asked, diverting his gaze from the two women and continuing to unpack the food. 

“He went home. He’s pissed, Javi.” Connie admitted, shaking her head in annoyance and placing the pot of nail polish on the coffee table. She walked into the open space kitchen and nudged the agent.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Javier muttered, stacking the canned goods into a cupboard.

“I’m going home, but don’t think we’ve forgotten about the paella. Steve wants that fucking paella,” Connie chastised. Javier nodded his head but remained silent as he emptied his bag of shopping. “Unbelievable.” Connie scoffed incredulously, and opened the front door before slamming it behind her.

“Thanks Con!” Javier called, but there was no telling if she even heard.

Javier was half way through putting his shopping away when he heard your meek and softly spoken voice call his name in a questioning tone. His dark eyes looked over at you. You were sitting upright on the sofa and his face softened. Stopping what he was doing, he neglected the bag of groceries and padded into the living room to sit down next to you. 

“Hi.” Javier murmured, crossing his legs and adjusting the crochet blanket that was covering your lap. 

“Hi.” you replied, feeling somewhat shy and slightly nervous, for a reason you couldn’t quite place.

“How are you feeling?” Javier asked, bringing himself to look at you.

“Um,” you fumbled at the blanket and thought for a moment. It was a loaded question. Other than the overwhelming feeling of distress and helplessness, you decided to give the agent a simple answer. “Well rested. A little thirsty.” 

Javier nodded. “How would you feel about taking a bath?”

You swallowed back a knot in your throat that you hadn’t even realised was there in the first place. “...Do I smell?” you asked, You stretched out and gave your underarms a sniff, prompting Javier to burst out into laughter. Shit, had you always been that adorable? Your nose scrunched up at the distinct smell of dried up blood on your clothes and your shoulders slumped sadly. Javi, noticing your change in demeanor, gently lifted up the blanket and wrapped it around your body.

“Hey, it’s okay,” he cooed. “Believe me, I get stinky too. It happens. Let me help you take a bath. Come with me.”

Taking his hand, Javier navigated you towards the bathroom. It was a small boxy room with barely any space to move around, and yet, to your surprise, it fit a bathtub. Javier twisted the faucet, and the tap began to run warm water. He picked up a bottle of bubble bath and a tub of salts. “I have a bad back,” Javier told you. “These salts really help me relax. And the bubbles are nice too.”

You nodded with a smile. As he emptied the contents into the tub, you watched the products swirl into a colourful abyss. “It smells like you.” you uttered, without really thinking about the weight of your words. Javier said nothing, and you both sat by the side of the tub in comfortable silence, watching as it filled up. He occasionally dipped his hand in the water, checking the temperature.

“Will you be okay?” Javier asked you, taking out a towel and folding it up on top of the toilet seat.

You weren’t really sure, but you nodded your head anyway. Just as he was about to leave, you spoke up again. “Actually, Javi, could you stay?”

Javier fumbled a little but smiled. “Yeah, of course.”

Javier had seen you naked countless times due to the nature of your job but for some reason, this time, it felt different. He’d never had a woman use his bathtub before, let alone be requested to stay in her presence as she got undressed and stepped inside. You slipped out of your sultry, blood stained dress and let it pool to the floor. Javi’s mouth parted as he took in your naked form under the amber tinted bathroom lights. 

You stepped inside the tub and almost slipped over, but Javier, as quick as lightning, grabbed your arm and steadied you. “Sorry,” he muttered, and your hand slid into his. As your fingers interlocked, you felt something. It was like a bolt of electricity, running up your arm, and judging by Javier’s reaction, he could feel it too. “I should’ve warned you. It can be a little slippery.”

You giggled and tried to tear yourself from Javi’s grip, but he didn’t let go of you once. Instead,  he helped you sit down comfortably amongst the bubbles and aromatic hot water. You moaned, feeling your body become indulged and your muscles soften. You smiled and laid back, the bubbles fizzing around your neck and chin, and Javier felt his heart swell in his chest as he noticed your lips curl into a smile. It was the smile he would kill to see, and he hadn’t even realised how much he missed it.

“Just relax,” Javier soothed. “I’ll be back faster than you can count to ten.”

Javier ran into the kitchen and took a glass from one of the cupboards before racing back to the bathroom. Kneeling down by the side of the tub, he dipped the glass into the water, filling it up, and gently emptied it down your hair. 

“Close your eyes,” he requested, continuing to wet your hair ample enough until it was ready to be shampooed. Taking the bottle of his musky scented shampoo, Javier squirted the thick liquid into your scalp and began to massage it in. You couldn’t believe how gentle he was, and how he was taking his time with you. You’d never in a million years imagine Javier Peña being like this, or acting this intimate, with any woman -- especially not you. To be honest, his own behaviours were even coming to shock Javier. But he just let his instincts take over. He wanted to protect you and make sure you knew just how safe you were. That was the most important thing on his mind.

Once he rinsed your hair, he grabbed some soap and a sponge, handing them to you. “Do you uh-- uh-- do you think you can wash your own body?” He asked, his dark eyebrows knitting together. “If not, that’s okay. I can help. But--”

You smiled and rested a wet hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay Javi. I’ll be fine.” you promised, taking the sponge from him. 

“I’m going to find you some clothes to change into.” He told you. “Shout if you need me. I won’t be long.”

And he stuck by his word. Javier raked through his drawers and picked out a pale yellow button down shirt that he hadn’t worn in a few years and a pair of boxer shorts. Padding back into the bathroom, he presented you with them. “It’s not much but it’s all I have,” he told you. “I’m sure Con will take you out shopping at some point. Or we can hop on back to your place tomorrow to grab some of your stuff,” You smiled and stood up, making sure to be careful not to slip this time. Javier held out the towel for you and wrapped you in it. “I’ll leave you to get dried.”

When Javier went back into the kitchen, he figured he should put the rest of the groceries away, only to notice that the once frozen paella ingredients had become defrosted and been rendered completely useless. “Shit.” Javier cursed, pushing them to one side and running a hand through his hair. Looks like after all of this, he couldn’t make paella tonight. He knew he was about to get an earful from Steve at work tomorrow.

“Do you like pizza?” Javier called, rummaging around for a take-out menu and grabbing his phone from the counter.

“I do!” you called back, buttoning up Javier’s shirt and wrapping a towel around your head.

When you padded into the kitchen, dressed in Javi’s clothes, the agent felt his throat dry up. You were a sight to behold. You smelt distinctly like him, but you already looked one thousand times better now that you were clean and comfortable. You felt better, too. It was amazing what a bath could do to you. You shimmied onto one of the bar stools Javier kept by the counter and rest your elbows against the laminate. Javier passed you the menu so you could look over the dishes.

You agreed on a simple chilli pizza, which was one of Javier’s favourites anyway. Javi called the deli and asked for a large, planning on sharing it with you. Remembering that you’d mentioned you were thirsty, he poured you a glass of water and handed it your way.

“Steve is gonna be so mad at me tomorrow,” Javier chuckled, rubbing his temple. You peeked up from the glass that you nursed and looked up at him through your eyelashes. “I promised him paella and I’m not gonna be able to make it tonight. Not only that but he’s gonna ask me where I’ve been. He’ll know I wasn’t out getting groceries for three hours.”

You furrowed your eyebrows together and tilted your head. “Three hours? Where were you?”

Javier paused and absent-mindedly brushed a finger along his mustache. “I bumped into an ex at the store. Went back to her place and-- you know.”

Your eyes fell back into your glass of water. “Oh.”

Javier picked at his short fingernails and another sigh left his lips. “Shit, I just--” he shook his head. “Made a mistake. A very big mistake.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Yeah, that would probably be for the best but how could he even begin to tell you what happened, when you were part of the problem? Javier figured it might even scare you away. “It doesn’t matter… she’s just…” Javier scratched his head. “She’s fine. It’s a ‘me’ problem, I think.”

The doorbell rang and Javier was grateful for the interruption. He paid the pizza delivery guy and sent the stone bake on the table.

“It looks good,” you smiled. “I’ve never had Colombian pizza.”

Javier’s jaw dropped. “You--?” He shook his head in disbelief. “Dulzura, how long have you lived here?” 

“A month,” you grinned, with a mouthful of pizza. “Tastes good.”

After you’d finished eating, it had gotten pretty late. You and Javier exchanged small talk, learning little things about each other. You liked it a lot. He had always been an enigma to you, and even though he offered little information, it was still something, and you appreciated that a lot.

“It’s been a difficult day,” Javier noted, folding the pizza box and throwing it away to be recycled. “You should take my bed.”

“No,” you insisted. “I’m fine on the sofa. Honestly.”

Javier sighed. “I’m not going to let you sleep on the sofa any longer. You’ll get back ache.”

“Then I’ll just use your bath salts.” You smirked in retaliation. Javier laughed and you relished the way small crinkles appeared in the corner of his honey coloured eyes.

“Please, take my bed.” Javier said, staring at you pointedly. His eyebrows were raised and his strong arms were crossed over his chest.

You were about to argue further but truthfully, sleeping in a bed tonight sounded like exactly what you needed. You took a few steps closer to Javier, a pool of butterflies swirling in your stomach as you broke any distance between you both. You wanted to kiss his lips so desperately, taste him once again. It was only earlier today you’d had your lips wrapped around his cock, and yet, so much had happened in between then and now. You wondered if Javier was thinking about it too.

“Get some sleep, hermosa.”

Your eyes were completely trained on his soft pink lips. You wanted to kiss-- you just wanted to kiss him. Just one kiss. Just one-- you leaned in and shut your eyes, and neared him, closer and closer... but Javier stepped away.

And you felt your heart shatter in your chest.

“Nothing personal,” he told you. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea.”

Nothing personal? How were you meant to accept that? You had literally sucked him off just a few hours ago and now he wouldn’t even grace you with a kiss? Maybe Rosa was right; you shouldn’t form crushes on clients. Especially not Javier Peña. You’d only get hurt. You tugged on the sleeves of his button down shirt and balled your fingers into a fist, trying to ignore the pain in your chest.

Without uttering a word, not even a ‘goodnight’, you sulked away and into his bedroom.

Javier wanted to shout out. He didn’t want you to be mad at him, or even upset. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt you. It took him all the strength he could muster to deny you of that kiss. Your perfect lips looked so soft and delicate and if Javier could have it his way, he would’ve taken you in that very moment.

But you were more than just a sex worker now. You were a compliance in the hunt to catch Escobar -- and he had to be careful. No matter what, he couldn’t risk losing track of the bigger picture.

-—-—-—♡—-—-—-

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[tomtenadia]

A Little Braver  - Chapter 12

Here we go. As promised i did not keep you waiting too long and chapter 12 has finally landed by gentle concession of Whitethorn airlines. 

Be ready for angst, fluff and our Rowan in full fuss mode. I swear the man invented fussing. Also, our Iceman this time loses it. Even Fenrys is shocked by how much. 

EDIt: forgot to say ATC is Air Traffic Control.

-----------

Rowan had finished his class and went back to his office. He had given those spoiled brats a very intense training and he had taught them how a real pilot flew and was quite satisfied of his level of evilness. 

He sat at his desk, grabbed his phone and noticed a text from Aelin and a smile tugged at his lips.

Not even two hours back. Crash at the airport. I guess those civilian pilots are as bad as you claim.

He laughed to start with but then terror took him. He switched on the computer and tried to find some news about Orynth. He found a newspaper and read the breaking news. There was a video taken by probably some reporters on an helicopter and he almost fell sick at the images. The article mentioned two aircrafts but he could see only one. He had a bad feeling of what could have happened. The crew zoomed in and he spotted Aelin’s engines but he could not tell apart who was on the ground. Then he saw it. The collapse. A cloud of dust and fire lifted in the sky and he hoped that none of the guys were inside.

His heart raced and pure undiluted terror as he never felt, spread through him.

Once inside Aedion had to navigate through debris and remains of the collapsed structure. The dust raised by the collapse had somehow reduced the fire and he could see around him. 

“Aelin,” he called out. He walked and walked and he knew he was getting further and further from the entrance.

“Aelin… answer me, damn it.” He shouted over the silence. A few electric cables flew over him and he ducked just in time to avoid electrocution.

Then he heard it. Her PASS alarm. The one that activated when it did not sense motion for a certain amount of time. He hated that sound because it meant that one of them was in danger.

Eventually he saw her body and flames too close for comfort.

“Chief, lieutenant. I have her. Have EMTs on standby.” he shouted over the radio.

“Lieutenant, Chief, we have two water lines coming in now.”

He ran to her and fell to his knees working to clear the debris from on top of her and once free he rolled her over and noticed she was not breathing and not wearing her mask which lay abandoned at her side. His finger went to her neck and found a pulse albeit weak “She is not breathing, I need the medical team inside. Now.” He shouted over the radio with panic thick in his voice.

He gave her a few rescue breaths “please… please… don’t do this to me. Please, Aelin.”

He put his mask on her face, trying to pass some oxygen to her.

Voices broke the silence but he was too busy helping Aelin to bother to look who it was. 

In a moment the rest of the team had followed inside and they were putting off the remaining fire around them, allowing the medical team to do their jobs safely.

Lysandra was on her knees in an instant. Elide was at his side and Dorian was towering over them he was the one who had taken the two women inside.

“She is not breathing and her pulse is weak.” Said Aedion, his voice cracking “Help her, please.”

Lysandra did some checks with experienced efficiency.

“I need to intubate her, Aedion remove the mask when I tell you so.”

Lysandra got ready with all her gear “now.”

With the skills of someone who had done it a million times she intubated Aelin very quickly and Elide started to press the balloon to send air in her lungs and oxygen to her body. Lysandra did a quick check and noticed her right arm bore some bad burn marks. She wrapped the wound as best as she could with temporary bandages.

“Dorian, pass me the backboard.”

Within minutes Aelin was loaded on the board and carried outside. The remaining team stopped, staring at their captain unconscious.

Rowan was following the livestream of the accident when he noticed Dorian’s holding a board with someone on and on the other side a tall blonde man: Aedion. He looked a bit better and his heart sank. His eyes recognised the body on the gurney. Her blonde hair, her long braid.

All of a sudden he forgot how to breath. He just stood there watching as the gurney that carried her was lifted into the ambulance. Aedion jumped in as well and he saw Lysandra and Elide climb in the ambulance and drive away with crazy speed and sirens wailing.

He stood slowly, as in a daze, grabbed his stuff and left. He went home, packed all his belongings and drove back to the base. As quickly as possible he filed a flight plan and not long after he was in the air. He would explain everything to the school commandant but he had to go. He had to be with her.

The flight back to Orynth seemed to last forever. He swore loudly when on approach to Orynth he was told that the airspace above the city was closed. He was furious, the airbase was so far away from the airport that it was stupid.

“Orynth main, Typhoon FF9762, I am requesting clearance for landing at the airbase, not at your stupid airport. So you let me land this plane or when I ran low on fuel I will land in the middle of the motorway and then you can deal with that.”

A moment later he got clearance for landing and when his landing gear touched down on the runaway he quickly taxied inside the hangar.

When he opened the canopy, Lorcan was there waiting for him “don’t. I don’t fucking care about the school or anything else right now.” He grabbed his bag and quickly told his engineer to perform his post flight checks. It was totally against the rules but he had no time to lose.

“Elide texted me. They took her to Orynth general. It was the closest one. She says it’s bad.”

Rowan ran out of the hangar and to his car not even bothering to change out of his jump suit, threw his stuff in the back seat and drove like a madman to the hospital. Once inside the A&E he spotted some familiar faces. Her squad was all there, waiting for an update. Rowan stopped. Then his gaze crossed Aedion’s. The man walked to him and Rowan was sure he had been crying.

“How is she? Where is she?” His voice was shaky.

“We don’t know. They took her in urgently. When I found her, she was not breathing and her oxygen tank was dead. She was unconscious when we brought her in, and with some horrible burns on her right arm.”

Rowan sat down heavily on a chair, his hands shaking visibly. They had just found each other. He could not lose her. 

“I thought you were in Doranelle.” Aedion’s voice was flat and his eyes fixed on the doors where they had taken Aelin.

“Aelin sent me a text saying you guys had a call at the airport.” His hand ran nervously through his short hair “then I checked the news and there was a livestream of the accident. And I saw it. All. And when I saw you and Dorian carrying her out… I left everything and flew here with my jet. Bloody ATC almost prevented me from landing.”

“This is always the worst part.” Said Aedion sitting beside Rowan “the waiting.”

The whole group remained in silence and Rowan did the same until a doctor went to them and Aedion stood, followed by Dorian.

“I have an update on the captain. Her condition is critical. She suffered serious internal injuries from the collapse and they are being treated now. Her right arm has some severe burns and again they are now being treated to avoid infection. Her oxygen levels are still below the normal parameters. During surgery she has coded twice, but we got her back. As soon as the team is done with her we will move her to the ICU. We need to keep her under strict control. She could still develop acute respiratory syndrome. She will stay intubated and heavily sedated.” Then the doctor turned to Aedion “I will let you know when you can see her.” And with that he walked away.

“Everyone, return to the station. We are still on duty.” Aedion ordered his men. They gave him a hug and asked to keep them posted. He knew that it had been very hard for them to obey him. They all wanted to be there for her but slowly they filed out leaving him alone with Rowan.

Dorian patted his shoulder “I will stay with them at the station.” And he left with the rest of the squad. 

“The scene at the airport seemed terrifying.”

“It was,” said Aedion in a flat tone “the small plane got reduced to smithereens. How the fuck that happened?”

Rowan sighed, he had an idea “possibly a mistake by ATC. They probably directed the smaller aircraft on the wrong runaway and the big plane landed and just crashed on it, then lost control, probably lost its landing gear and just slammed into the hangar bay.”

“How do you know?”

“Watching the live of the news. You could see that the bigger aircraft was on a landing trajectory from its heading. Also, it was on the runaway that Orynth airport uses for landing. The smaller craft was totally in the wrong runaway.”

“Well, it was a mess.”

“Did you manage to save anyone?”

Aedion nodded “all the people in the big aircraft. As soon as we arrived Aelin told us to keep an eye on the wings for fuel. The aircraft exploded but not before we managed to evacuate the passengers. Manon and Asterin saved two of the civilians by hiding in the cockpit.” He sighed “Aelin saved four.”

Rowan chuckled “she took two of my books one on flight theory and the one on airplanes in general.”

“That is why she knew about fuel being in the wings.”

Rowan nodded with pride “Aelin and I… we are working on things. On us. I…” he lowered his head “I care about her… a lot.”

Aedion leaned back on the chair and removed his fire jacket, remaining in his t-shirt “she can be difficult and believe me there is no one but me who knows just how much. I grew up with her. She is my cousin after all, but I always loved her like a sister. But Aelin has the bad habit of saying what she thinks and we had so many fights because of that. She can be a brat, but together with Lys they are the two most important women in my life.”

Rowan smiled briefly at Aedion’s description of Aelin. It was perfect.

“I proposed to Lys.” Confessed the blonde man.

Rowan slapped him hard on the shoulder “that is an incredible news. Congratulation, man.”

“I thought it was time. Lys and I have been together for three years and I love her.”

Rowan was about to add something when they saw the doctor approach them.

“Aedion, you can see her now.” The man stood and gestured to Rowan to follow him.

“Family only.” Said the doctor when he noticed Rowan stand.

“He is coming as well, Sorscha. And if anyone has any problems, they can take it up with me.”

The woman lifted her hands in yielding gesture “She is on the sixth floor in the ICU, room 46.”

“Thank you.”

“Are you all this friendly with doctors?”

“We visit hospitals a lot.” He added sadly.

Aedion walked to the stairs and Rowan chuckled “not you too…”

“What?”

“What’s with you guys and lifts?”

Aedion laughed “you posh boy can take the metal trap. I am walking.”

Rowan huffed and followed Aedion up the stairs. He was not letting an army guy beat him. He had pride.

Rowan pushed to keep up with Aedion and by the time they reached the sixth floor his legs were killing him, the man in front of him had kept a brutal pace, probably on purpose.

In silence they reached the room and Rowan pulled aside “you go in first, you are family.”

Aedion nodded and Rowan sat down on the chairs outside the room. Thing was… he needed time. He was scared of what he would see on the other side of the door. He was terrified.  She was the one with the scary job. He was the one who knew how to fly away from danger and avoid being shot out of the sky. She, on the other hand, she would willingly face a fire to save people. Getting involved with her meant going through the hell he was living now. He fought it for as long as he could. But somehow along the way he had fallen for her pretty badly. He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the wall.

Much later on he felt a hand on his shoulder “you can go in now.”

Rowan turned his head to the door and his heart sank. Then he stood and mustered all the courage he had to open the door and step in.

The room was silent apart from the steady beeping sounds of the machines monitoring her heartbeat and the hush sound of the ventilator pumping air in her lungs. He froze and closed the door behind him. He stared at her immobile body. With all the cables and tubes and machinery, she seemed so small in the hospital bed.

He finally took a step closer and sat down on the chair beside her.

“Hi,” his voice broken as he felt tears streak down his cheek. Gently he brushed the tip of the fingers on her right hand and noticed the heavy bandaging on the whole arm.

“You scared the shit out of me.” He whispered, his head leaning on the bed near her hand “A part of me wants to bolt because I am not sure I can take it. But the other side tells me not to. Tells me that the recklessness, you fierceness and bravery are why I am so damn crazy about you.” He stood and paced back and forth “the idea of losing you paralyses me with fear.” He took a step backward with fear gripping his heart “I can’t do this. I am so sorry. I just can’t.”

He ran out of the door but Aedion blocked him “that was quick.”

“I can’t…”

Aedion’s face morphed into pure rage and grabbed Rowan’s jump suit by the collar “oh yes you can. I told you before, posh boy. You break her heart and I break you.”

Rowan collapsed exhausted on the chair and took his head in his hands “I can’t… I can’t go through that hell a second time.”

“What to you mean?” Asked the blonde man.

Rowan looked up and met Aedion’s eyes. So much like Aelin’s. They could have easily been twins.

“The pain…” he paused “I can’t deal with that pain again. Losing Aelin would break me definitely. And at the same time I can’t leave her for the same reason. I need her in my life. She might be infuriating but at the same time I am mad about her.”

“Then you have your answer.” Said Aedion flatly.

Rowan stood and Aedion placed his body in front of him.

“I am not bolting. I need to go home, shower, clear my head and I will be back.”

“You bolt, and I will find you.”

Rowan raised his hands and walked away in silence.

He got home, dumped his bag near the bed and shed his clothes on his way to the bathroom. Opened the water and dove under the jet, the water hot to the point of being painful. He stood there. Eyes closed and head bowed. Realising that the water would not be able to wash away the shame of him almost walking out on her like a coward. Again. He was not as brave as he thought. When it came to his feelings he was a disaster. But there was deep terror in him, to a level that he never experienced not even with a missile trained on him. He had almost lost her and at the thought he struggled to breath for a moment. He leaned against the wall and allowed the tears to flow, he allowed himself to cry and let his fears go for a moment. He could not believe that in a matter of few months she had become so important that the thought of losing her would break him this much. He breathed deeply and tried to regain some focus.

Quickly, he washed himself and then walked out with a towel around his waist and padded to the bed to grab his phone. He called the commandant of the school in Doranelle and explained him what happened, why he had to leave all of a sudden and most of all why he was not going back. The man was not happy and he was going to catch hell from Lorcan as well but he did not care. He had given up too much of his life to the force. Now it was his turn to be selfish and put his life before duty.

As expected Lorcan called him not long after and he was now on his way to see his CO in nothing but jeans, a polo shirt and a black leather jacket and a pair of sunglasses. If he had to piss off Lorcan better do it properly.

He knocked once in front of his door and the grumpy tone of the man of the other side told him to enter. He saluted lazily and definitely did not miss Lorcan’s stare of disapproval at him appearing in front of his CO in civilian clothes.

“You seem to have misplaced your uniform.”

“No sir, definitely at home in my wardrobe.”

Lorcan growled his disapproval “I got an interesting call from the commandant of the school in Doranelle. He says that you resigned your post. That you have no intention of going back.”

“That is correct,” and Rowan sat down although Lorcan did not give him permission to do so.

Lorcan threw a folder on his desk “and I got a complaint from ATC saying that you breached airspace lockdown last night and threatened to land on a motorway if they didn’t let you land.”

“That was bullshit on their part. The airbase is on the opposite side of the city compared to the airport. There was no risk for me to get anywhere close to the airport. They were aware of my flight plan and my heading. It was total bullshit.”

“Well, now I have to deal with an irate traffic control supervisor and an outraged commandant at a school with which we have been cooperating for years.”

Rowan shrugged in challenge “not my problem.”

“No Whitethorn, you are the fucking problem.”

“Then suspend me, like I give a fuck.” Rowan leaned back in the chair and stared outside ignoring Lorcan’s tantrum.

“You broke aviation rules with that stunt of yours last night and before that you put your personal life before duty.”

Rowan bolted on his feet “I am so fucking tired of sacrificing my life for duty. I did it so much that when my wife died I was on the other side of the continent and I was given a couple of days of leave to go to her funeral and then was ordered to haul ass back to my post as if nothing happened and like the good obedient soldier I was, I even thanked you all for giving me two days to mourn.” He shouted, not caring if he was being disrespectful to a superior “I gave the airforce twelve years of my life, no questions asked. And all of a sudden I am not sure if I want to keep doing it.”

“Is she really worth it? Is that woman really worth giving up on your career?”

Rowan moved dangerously close and leaned on the desk with his hands “she is worth more that you cold-hearted bastard can ever imagine.”

Lorcan stood “get your arse out of my office, captain Whitethorn. You are suspended for a month.”

“Good.” Said Rowan and walked out slamming the door not bothering saluting Lorcan or add anything.

On his way out he met his squadron “what are you doing back in Orynth?” Asked Gavriel surprised.

“Getting my arse suspended for a month apparently.”

“What the fuck?” Fenrys stared at him in disbelief. That was something that he would do. He could not believe that Lorcan had just suspended Rowan. The man was a stickler for protocol and rules to a fault.

“Broke aviation rules last night by landing during an airspace lockdown. Ticked off ATC big time. And before that I left my post in Doranelle without telling anything to anyone.”

“Who are you and what have you done with Iceman?” Asked Connall.

“Aelin.” Was his answer “she was at the disaster at the airport last night. She is in bad condition. I had to come back.” He sighed “then Lorcan gave me a dressing down for putting a woman before duty and I might have pissed him off to historical levels. I would stay clear of him today.”

“And he suspended you.”

“Yes,” confirmed Rowan and the rest of the team almost noticed relief in his eyes.

“But you are coming back, right?” Rowan noticed sadness in Gavriel’s eyes. The two had been friends for a long time. And although he could not care less about Lorcan, he felt as if he was betraying his team mates.

“I don’t know… I might.” He said not convinced “A month away might do me well. I am not sure right now.”

“How’s Aelin?” Vaughan had the guts to ask the question no one could voice.

Rowan’s hands fisted “she is in bad shape. Intubated and sedated. When Aedion found her she was not breathing. She has bad burn on her right arm and plenty of other injuries. She was buried under the collapse of the hangar after she tried to save some people trapped inside.”

“Damn, the woman is badass.” Fenrys patted Rowan’s shoulder “when you go to the hospital, tell her that we are rooting for her too.”

He covered the young man’s hand with his “will do.” Then he straightened “now I better go, before Lorcan comes through and punishes all of you just for speaking with me.”

“Keep in touch, please,” added Gavriel.

Rowan winked and left and once he finally stepped outside of the perimeter of the airbase his soul felt lighter.

He reached the hospital not long after and found her room empty, her team was probably at work and he was glad he could have some time with her.

“Hi menace,” Rowan sat down and brushed a kiss on her forehead “are you enjoying your nap?” His finger gently flicked her nose and he sat back down “I got suspended for a month… I guess I broke a few rules to be with you.” His finger brushed hers emerging from the heavy bandage “and I epically ticked off a few people, but it was so worth it.” He squeezed her fingers “you are totally worth it.” He then stood and started walking around the room making adjustments. He fixed the blinds so there was some sun in the room, he tucked her properly in bed, almost afraid she could be cold. He fixed the flowers on her nightstand and made sure they had water. And finally he sat down on her bed and slowly undid her braid, brushed her hair and braided it again.

“I am sorry I left this morning, I… was overwhelmed.” He sat back down on the chair “I am not leaving. Not unless you want me to.” He grabbed her hand again but then he heard the door open and he sat straight.

“Hi,” said Lysandra and Elide in unison.

“We just dropped off some patients and we came in to see her.”

Rowan stood and with his hand he offered his spot to the two women.

“I thought you were away.” Said Lysandra, walking close to her friend and depositing a gentle kiss on her forehead.

“I was, and then I saw the disaster and I flew back and got myself suspended for it, but I don’t care.”

Lysandra was about to comment but he stopped her “I had to be here for her. I have no regrets.” His head then turned to Elide “you might want to stay clear of Lorcan for a few days. I ticked him off big time and the man might be a bit furious at the time.”

“Oh, okay,” the woman said timidly.

“I am sure that one of your smile will fix the mood of that poor old bastard.” Lysandra’s comment made him laugh.

“She just went in…” Lysandra’s voice was now a whisper and she sniffled turning her back from the other two occupants “she always does this type of crazy thing. Dorian was furious.”

A memory appeared in Rowan’s mind and his words were out before he could stop them “are they involved?”

He heard the woman chuckle “No. Dorian is in love with her and that is no secret. He was her captain when she was at west. But she always saw him as nothing but a friend. Also he is the chief and she a captain, so nothing can happen. They are really good friends, but no, nothing ever happened.”

A selfish part of him relaxed.

Lysandra’s radio went off and she groaned “come on Elide, back to work.”

Rowan waved them goodbye and went back to his chair.

***

Ten days had passed and the season had slowly turned and spring was now in full force.

Rowan was standing at the hospital window, looking outside towards the Staghorn mountains. The tops had officially lost their snow. He inhaled the fresh air and closed the window again. That room had become his new home in the past ten days. He had left only to go home and get changed and washed, but apart from that he had kept a tight vigil on her. They guys at the station had to work and he had been more than happy to keep her company. He was out of a job for the time being, anyway. He turned around and walked to the bed. Nothing had changed. She was still intubated and still unconscious. The doctor had raised concerns with regards to the damage her lungs had suffered and a neurologist had confirmed that her responses were within normal parameters and that they were expecting her to wake up soon. In the last few days they had noticed an increased cerebral activity which according to the doctors was a good sign. He sat down again beside her and went back to the book he had been reading to her. As a joke between the two of them he had started reading flight manuals, or any of any of his books about flying. He had read her other books as well and all the possible articles about their amazing rescue at the airport. Rowan had spent so much time at the hospital that all the nurses knew him and helped him every time he had a request for them to make her more comfortable. He had brought more comfortable pillows, had decorated the wall of her room with all the cards she got from the different fire stations and from west, together with the ones of the four people she save in the hangar. With his mobile he had played classical music for her and a few times he had played an opera as well and joked that they finally got that date after all. His past ten days had been dedicated to nothing else but her. He was humming away a tune from the last opera he had played, while tucking her bed sheets properly when he brushed her hand and felt it move. It was a subtle movement but he felt it. Rowan kept humming and this time the motion was much clearer.

“Aelin…” her middle finger lifted by a fraction and Rowan laughed.

“Are you giving me the middle finger even when you sleep? You are such a brat.” He leaned forward and kissed her forehead “Can you hear me?” He whispered near her ear.

His gaze returned to her hand and this time he noticed her clearly trying to bend her fingers.

Rowan sat down beside her and stroked her cheek once more “Aelin… it’s me.”

A tiny flutter of her eyelashes had his heart race madly in his chest. And when her blue eyes finally set on him he gave her a big smile “it was abut time, there was no need to get into a fire and almost get yourself killed if you needed a nap.”

Aelin groaned and he noticed the middle finger in her left hand rise sightly. Rowan roared in laughter. Then she lifted the same hand and went for the tube in her mouth.

“Hold on, you are still intubated. Let me go and call the doctor.” He disappeared outside of the room and came back with her doctor a moment later. He extubated her and the procedure looked very unpleasant. Aelin coughed heavily but the doctor reassured him it was normal and then left the two alone.

Rowan grabbed a glass of water on the nightstand and helped her. He lifted her a bit and pressed the glass against her lips “drink a little.”

She drank eagerly and then collapsed back on the pillow exhausted. Rowan sat at her left side and brushed her head gently with his hand “are you in pain?”

With a small movement she shook her head. Rowan looked at the bags with liquids hanging behind her and noticed they still had plenty of stuff in them. She was hooked on painkillers and antibiotics and had a feeding tube down her nose.

“You… here.” She managed with difficulty. Although she was breathing on her own the doctor had warned him that some issues might take longer to heal. The smoke and the fuel fumes had battered her lungs pretty badly and that it was why after extubation, the doctor had placed small oxygen tubes in her nose.

“That I am.” he took her hand in his “after your text complaining about civilian pilots I had a look at the news and they were showing the inferno at the airport.” He stopped, he would never forget that horrible scene “when I saw Dorian and Aedion carrying you out I realised I could not stay there any longer. Long story short, I broke a few rules, pissed off a few people and got suspended, but I am where I am meant to be.”

“Suspended?”

Rowan nodded solemnly “Turns out that even if he has a girlfriend, Lorcan is still a cold-hearted bastard. I have no regrets.”

Aelin sighed and her breath came out ragged “squad.”

“They are all fine and they miss you. Aedion has been playing captain and he hates it and Dorian has been helping a lot as well. They are on shift now but they came and visit a lot.”

She was about to say something else but a brutal cough hit her and she was left exhausted and wheezing and he pulled her to him. It destroyed him seeing her like that.

He shifted the pillows behind her and allowed Aelin to be in a semi sit position, hoping that would make breathing much easier than lying down. He sat beside her, pulled an arm around her shoulder and dragged her closer to him “Aedion proposed to Lys.”

“Know.”

“There is no pleasing you, young lady. I assume Lys has told you.”

Aelin smiled at him and nodded.

His phone buzzed in his pocket and when he removed it he realised it was Lorcan. The man had tried to phone him all morning but he had refused every single call.

Rowan sighed heavily and Aelin looked up at him with a worried expression.

“I almost resigned.” His forehead touching hers “then I didn’t because of duty and all that shit. When they carried you out I lost it. Nothing else mattered but being here for you. Screw rules and regulations.”

She turned her head and deposited a kiss on his lips “thank you for being here.” She managed with great difficulty.

***

With spring in full swing, Orynth was covered in colours from flowers all around the city. The air smelled sweet and warm.

Aelin inhaled the fresh air and after almost a month in the hospital she felt alive again. Rowan lifted her in his arms and slowly carried her to her house. Her legs were still shaky and she was still weak. Her recovery was taking longer than expected. The doctors had put her through a respiratory therapy, but at times she still felt short of breath. Rowan dropped her off on the sofa and went to get their stuff. He had made a deal with her and he would stay with her until she was better. He still had four days before his suspension was over. He had been at her side since she woke up and the nurses had told her that even when she was still unconscious, Rowan had barely left her side.

Her mind went back to when he told her he could be very caring for the people he loved and he had showed her that over and over again.

“Here we go.” He dumped all the bags in the living room and then went to the bedroom and Aelin had a feeling he was preparing so that it was up to his standards.

“The bed is ready, your highness.”

He fussed. He fussed a lot but she realised she had started to love that side of him.

“Does it meet your standards, captain?”

He grinned “I don’t think is grandiose enough.”

“I will make sure I’ll upgrade my living standards to accommodate a posh boy like yourself. I doubt an army guy will fuss. Aedion never did.”

“They have no standards to begin with.”

Aelin threw a pillow at him but Rowan ducked in time and an instant later she was in the air and he dumped her on the bed with little ceremony.

He leaned forward and kissed her “now get changed,” he ordered and threw her her bed clothes.

“Yes, sir. At your orders sir,” she mocked him with a funny salute.

He shook his head “you civilians really have no respect for rank.”

She stood on her knees in bed and shed the top she was wearing and removed her bra as well, remaining bare.

He was busy emptying her bag that when he turned and saw her semi naked he almost tripped on the dropped top.

“My girls here feel lonely,” she palmed her breasts in a very sensual way

Rowan ignored her and passed her the pyjama top “It seems like you are doing a good job at keeping them busy.”

She slapped him with her t-shirt and got dressed again “I’d better get covered again, I don’t want to traumatise you.” She was about to add something else but a fit of coughing stopped her. Rowan was at her side in a moment and held her, knowing that it would usually leave her spent. The fits had become less frequent as she improved but the occasional one was enough to leave her breathless and this one seemed to be one of those. She grabbed his arm and squeezed it “hurts,”Aelin complained fisting her hand in his chest while concentrating on breathing. Rowan grabbed the inhaler she had been prescribed to use during an attack. She did as she had been shown by the doctors and then melted in his arms.

“Lie down.”

“Open…” she started but the coughing resumed and her hand fisted in the bed sheets this time. She grabbed the inhaler and breathed its medicines again, feeling air rushing back in her lungs. Eventually she collapsed in bed exhausted “Window…” she finally finished.

Rowan moved with speed and did as told. Aelin loved the spring air and even at the hospital she often asked him for the window to be open. It made her feel as if she could breath.

He moved her to the centre of the bed and covered with the blankets “do you feel like eating something?”

“No,” she said weakly and he knew she was not well. In the short time he had known her, Aelin had never refused a meal “Sleep,” his hand brushed her hair and she was asleep within minutes.

Once he was positive she was asleep he walked out and gently closed the door and went to the kitchen to make a phone call. Lorcan had been pestering him almost every day but Rowan had ignored him.

“The dutiful captain finally decides to phone back, or should I call you nurse Whitethorn now?”

Rowan growled and almost closed the call again, then decided to count till ten and listen what he had to say.

“Say your piece Salvaterre and let me go.”

“I want you to march back through these doors in four days.”

Rowan pinched the bridge of his nose. How could he leave her alone?

“A please from time to time doesn’t hurt.”

“Whitethorn, I don’t give a fuck if your firefighter woman made you a well mannered soldier. I am your superior and if I give you an order I expect you to answer with yes, sir. Another peep from you and you get your arse written up for insubordination and you can kiss your career goodbye.”

Rowan had to punch something, but a loud noise could wake up Aelin and he wanted to avoid that. So he just hung up the phone without giving Lorcan a reply then he grabbed a pillow and screamed into it. Once he was done he grabbed his laptop from his bag and set in motion his next plan.

TAGS:

@rowaelinismyotp​

@jlinez​

@swankii-art-teacher​

@courtofjurdan​

@whimsicallyreading​

@tillyrubes10​

[evak-fic-rec-turtleanon]

Evak Fics - Pining

I’m posting half of this list first because I started it a long time ago and it’s taking me a while to go through all the fics. So I will update with more later. 

*** Mutual Pining *** Pining - I might put mutual pining under pining if we don't see much of the other person pining. *** Bonus - The pining is not between Evak 

For the anon from this ask.

I will try my best to separate out the mutual pining fics but I think it will be tricky if it's not tagged as that. So bear with me and let me know of any mistakes or fics I missed out on.

. First Posting : 11 July 2021. Under 15k fics.  .

******* Mutual Pining *******

Even the Illustrator by eavk (SERIES, 3 fics) - An AU where Even’s an illustrator who draws what kids describe to him for YouTube, and Isak is the smitten father of a six year old with a wild imagination.

Postcards by HedwigsTalons (1k words) - Isak's wall is covered in postcards. Isak is supportive of Even's career and he cherishes every postcard but the long distance relationship hurts.

Feelings Come and Go, But Not With You by ultimatelawrence (1.9k words) - It was meant to just be a holiday romance. A fling. Nothing like love. But now it was six months later and Even was still pining over the angel he had met in Paris.

let's pretend into forever by Bellakitse (2.3k words) - “Let me get this straight,” Even starts. “You lied to your boss about having a boyfriend, told her it was me, and now you need me to go with you to your science nerd dinner?”

i will love you until the very, very end (and you were my best friend) by traumatic (2.4k words) - Isak and Even share something in the cool waters of a spring fed pool that no one, not even their fiancées, could ever understand.

Breathe Me by photographer_of_thoughts (4.5k words) - A high school reunion brings Isak and Even together after ten years, and neither of them can forget what happened when they were both seventeen.

Everything comes back to you by MermaidsandMermen (4.8k words) - Light pining. A dribble oneshot for Halloween, full of fluff and Even and Isak and a tiny pinch of angst. Because we need some Halloween fluff. That's all.

Fuck Tha Police by MacksDramaticShenanigans (5.2k words) - “This,” Eskild said, spinning the photograph around so everyone could see it, “is a picture of the latest piece of vandalism from our favorite little street punk.” he finished with a heavy sigh. They are both cops.

i tried to be strong but i lost it (i knew it was wrong, i’m beyond it) (6.3k words) - Even has a thing for his intern, Isak has a thing for his boss, they're both a bit clueless and their friends just want them to get their shit together.

all I see is you by littlemovie (Lejla) (7.4k words) - “Aren’t you gonna ask me why I’m a bad person?” Isak somehow whined and demanded at the same time. Jonas blew out a breath in amusement, which made the dark curls on his forehead move with his breath. “I’m guessing it has something to do with that guy, Even, from the coffeeshop?”

Addicted by endlessandinfinite (8k words) - They’re both completely, overwhelmingly, and incredibly...addicted. Best friends to lovers.

Calleth You, Cometh I by Kollakolan (8.4k words) - “Isak!” Mikaels pipes up. “Didn´t you two have a thing?” he turns to Even. A thing, Even thinks to himself. Yes, Isak and him definitely had a thing. They actually had a low-key thing going for years, but it never really turned into something more. The timing was never right.

In Vino Veritas by Sabeley (9.9k words) - After seven years apart, Isak wakes up to find Even in his bed and a wedding ring on his finger.

Let Me by GayaIsANerd (10.6k words) - Summer brings a lot of things. The smell of sunscreen. The sound of children playing in the shallow part of the lake. The taste of cold beer. The sweet tang of weed. But most importantly, summer brings Isak.

Something Borrowed, Something Blue by BluebeardsWife (10.8k words) - Fake dating AU, you know the drill. Even hires Isak to pretend to be his boyfriend at his ex's wedding. This Means Nothing to Me by cuteandtwisted (10.8k words) - Isak and Even are friends and roommates who don't believe in love anymore (after they both get dumped by other people) until they do. Aka the Friends/Roommates-To-Lovers Don't you let me go by solarpower21 (12.2k words) - In this universe, Isak and Even are roomates and nothing more. Except that there is something more between them and they both know that but are too stubborn to admit it. Too bad it takes a very unfortunate event for them to face the truth. Burn Down The Disco by TheGirlNoOneKnows5 (12.2k words) - A 'Black Mirror: Hang The DJ' AU in which Isak and Even decide to rebel against a futuristic dating system that pairs users up with various people in order to find their perfect match.

La Petite Mort by EvenbechNeiheim (13.4k words) - Even Bech Næsheim is one of those cool and very hot media students at Uni who might just got the task to make a film project. Eskild is the best wingman and things like accidently falling in love with an asshole media student happen. Based on the FIRST KISS YouTube video that gave the internet an entire meltdown. 

when your heart is bleeding, i'm coming to get you by orphan_account (13.5k words) - Isak doesn't exactly expect his hookup from last week to be the love advice columnist at the school newspaper he's working at. He also doesn't expect to fall even harder for him than he already has, which is a shame, really, since Even's crushing on someone else. 

Heal My Heart for Christmas by iwritetropesnottragedies (recklesslee) (13.5k words) - It’s been ten years since Isak left his small town for the big city of Oslo with his father. He hardly even thought of his time there anymore. Until he received a letter from his mother asking him to come home for Christmas for the first time since he had left. 

Love in the Time of COVID: Battlestar Edition by sweetasmaple (14k words) - Isak and Even find each other again during the COVID-19 lockdown, one Battlestar Galactica episode at a time. 

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******* Pining *******

never seemed so alive by retts (1k words) - Nothing special, just four letters strung together to spell out E V E N but they made Isak's heart race and his face blush and his hands tremble.

Hopeless by waitineedaname (1k words) - Light pining. There was no way in hell Isak would be able to talk to Even. He was tall and cool and handsome, and Isak was pretty sure talking to him would make him spontaneously combust.

i could probably just curl up in you. by milominderbinder (1.3k words) - Isak is away at a cabin with the guys when he gets a text from Even. 'hey, babe, did you take my favourite hoodie?' He is, of course, outraged that Even would accuse him of such treachery. The fact that Isak is wearing the hoodie at that very moment has nothing to do with it.

stuck on you (what did i do?) by itjustkindahappened (1.8k words) - It’s not that Even doesn’t try to be friendly with him—Isak just makes it so hard. Whenever Even approaches, Isak either makes up a fumbling excuse to leave, or just becomes really stiff and refuses to acknowledge Even’s existence.

now and forever (i will be your man) by thekardemomme (2.2k words) -Warning for pain. 3 times isak kisses even +1

i be up in the gym just working on my fitness by orphan_account (2.3k words) - Even knows that he's quite literally going to die when he finds his crush sweating on an elliptical, reading a book with his glasses slipping down his nose.

You know where I stay by nofeartina (2.4k words) - Warning for pain. Isak is so beautiful first thing in the morning. When he still has creases in his face from the pillow, when his face is red and puffy from sleep, his hair all messed up and curly. Even prefers this Isak. This is his Isak, this is only for him.

won't you be my livewire by itjustkindahappened (3.2k words) - "i've been tryin to grab your attention in class for over half an hour by poking you and throwing things onto your desk and you're refusing to acknowledge me and gdi all i wanted to do was tell you that you look cute and now it's gone too far and i can't go back"

Cookies and Cream by GayaIsANerd (3.5k words) - Isak has a crush on the barista. He's too scared to do anything about it, but luckily there's a blizzard coming up.

i can feel the weather in my bones by EvenbechNeiheim (3.7k words) - Isak and Even are childhood friends. There’s a boyfriend sweater and Isak is just desperate to wear it.

On the silver screen by Lokkanel (4k words) - Isak was really not in the mood for this. He had a long week at work, and all he wanted was to relax with his friend, drink a few beers, maybe even smoke some weed and just chill. But no. When Jonas called him to say that he won tickets to the coolest indie film festival in Oslo, Isak knew he could forget his plans for a quiet and simple weekend.

I want to love you (in my own language) by fauu_stine (4k words) - “Okay. Maybe I’m not happy,” he admits in a resigned whisper. “Do you need a shrink discussion or a best friend discussion?” "I think- I think it’s more of a friend with benefits kind of talk."

Don't be an ass by Julieseven (4.1k words) - Even really tried to forget about him. It started out as a harmless little crush, really. He saw him at the karaoke bar SYNG one night, singing "I don't want to miss a thing" at the top of his lungs, clearly drunk out of his mind, but looking like an angel with his messy dark blond locks and crooked smile.

Little Black Book by Laika (4.3k words) - Isak Valtersen is studying his third year at the University of Oslo and having the time of his life. Enter Evy Bech Næsheim, straight out of Nissen, in his stockings, mini skirts and bubblegum scented lip gloss.

cracks in our foundation by towonderland72 (4.8k words) - “You know, like a thousand years ago, men used to wear makeup?” Even asks, as Isak gapes at himself.

Safest With You (Green Curtains) by eavk (5.3k words) - Isak keeps staying up too late studying at the library, but luckily there's an escort service that gives students a buddy to walk with to keep safe at night.

the one with the prom video by thekardemomme (5.5k words) - Even has been in love with Isak since they were younger, but he never intended for Isak to find out this way.

Senses by Lokkanel (5.5k words) - Sight, hearing, smell, touch, taste… Or Even falling in love with Isak, one sense at a time.

you're the one i wanna grey with (5.6k words) - They've only been dating a month, so Isak shouldn't be pathetic enough to miss Even this much when he's only gone for a weekend.

Orion's Nebula by thekardemomme (5.6k words) - Light pining I think. Even Bech Næsheim was enrolled in an astronomy class for one reason and one reason only: the cute ass boy he saw standing in the registration line.

with the taste of a poison paradise by chasingflower (6k words) - It’s routine by now. Isak hangs out with his friends during the day and at night he kisses the Dream-Even that lives on the other side of the door in his living room, and basks in the warm fuzzy feelings he gets as a result of the attention. Coraline Au.

How to Get Your Man - A Plan By Even Bech Naesheim by Evakkk (6.1k words) - When Magnus drops a big secret in front of Even... Even comes up with a brilliant plan to get Isak to reveal his true feelings. All it takes is one little lie, and one crazy family reunion.

To Burn With Desire by photographer_of_thoughts (6.1k words) - AU in which Isak and Even are neighbours and Isak's father has a secret job that unintentionally helps Isak realize he's in love with his best friend.

Watermelon Sugar by MermaidsandMermen (6.6k words) - A little tribute to fruit and touching. To sex, and friendships and finding what you were looking for all along. And of course inspired by Harry Styles latest video offering, just because.

The Fake Boyfriend App by Crazyheart (7.2k words) - AU where Isak is desperately pining for his flatmate Even, and downloads a fake boyfriend app to get over him. When he discovers that the Fake boyfriend is a human, and not a bot, he is sceptical.

That look you give that guy by Lokkanel (7.4k words) - Isak and Even love each other in secret. It is almost thrilling at first, but when hiding and lying to their friends begin to take a toll on Even, Isak decides to end it all. He thinks he has taken the right decision, until Even eventually moves on with someone else.

my longing drives me crazy for you (7.7k words) - Isak's mum worries, Isak makes bad life decisions and Even loves Isak. It's a fake dating au.

I'm Always Here by nofeartina (9.3k words) - “Did you know that Even is working this summer? At that pool at the Plaza?” Jonas says. Isak actually sits up in excitement at this. “Fuck yeah!” Oh, a pool. Actual water they could go swimming in and cool down. And also, Even.

a garden for your love by eggsntoast (9.3k words) - He’s learning to breathe with them, even if he ends up with a floor full of violets by the end of it all. They remind Isak of him, and that’s all that matters. That’s what makes it worse. or: a Hanahaki au ft. Isak heavily pining after Even. Lots of angst.

I wrote an angry letter to the void, and the void responded (9.5k words) - Monday comes, and the book is still there. Isak looks around, content to find the floor practically empty, before giving the book the finger. Fuck that book. - a book finds it's way to Isak's sacred study spot. this proves to be a major distraction.

a constant state of closeness by chevythunder (9.7k words) - “What is it about this dude, anyway?” Elias asks. “You’ve barely even talked to him, right?” “I don’t know,” Even says. “I just got this feeling, you know? Just- I want to make sure he’s okay and safe and… stuff.” - It starts with a hug.

Is This Our Time? by Evakkk (9.9k words) - This is a world where everyone is born with an indistinguishable soulmate mark... it only changes into something recognizable, once you have physical contact with your soulmate, and it's always something meaningful to the relationship. Both partners will bear the same mark. Isak is about to turn 18... and he's the only one in his friend group who still hasn't found their soulmate. But what happens when he goes out one night, gets drunk... and wakes up with his soulmate mark?

Is This What You Wanted? by cuteandtwisted (9.9k words) - Isak is filthy rich and Even is a hardworking male model who just got signed to his father's agency. Even gets an awful offer from Isak: one night with him in exchange for money, and begins to despise him. Little does he know that everything he thinks he knows about Isak is wrong.

Just like in the movies by Lokkanel (10.5k words) - As he began taking in his surroundings, Isak realized he was in one of those small theaters that programmed independent and artsy movies, even old black and white films. He was ready to turn around and walk away when he heard a deep voice say, “Halla.”

my tiny heartbeat in his ear by riyku (11k words) - Now, about a week after the longest day of the year, the empty house across the street has stopped being empty. most beautiful things by scarletbluebird (12.7k words) - This fic is a whole ass journey. Warning for pain. This isn’t a fairytale, Isak tells himself. Even is standing at the bend in the road. He looks like a metaphor for immortal life: the youth a god would kill for. Ambrosia eyes, the universe trapped in the curve of his mouth. He looks like every warning from his mother about strangers you run into after dark. 

One week by Lokkanel (12.8k words) - This thing going on between Isak and Even, whatever they called it - fuckbuddies, friends with benefits - was simple, fun, nothing more. They were friends, they were both free to do whatever they wanted with other people. They’d just meet and have sex whenever they felt like it. Simple. Until what was bound to happen eventually did and Even fell for Isak. 

Plum by Jamz24 (13.2k words) - Femme!teacher!Even asks masculine! plumber!Isak to fix a broken shower on a scorching hot summer day...And if you think it sounds like the start of a porn film you're absolutely right! There's LOADS of smut but ... with LOTS of feelings 

Never be the same by nofeartina (14.2k words) - It starts with a bet - one of those really stupid ones: can they last an entire month without any kind of sex?It’s been 22 days – and Even is dying. 

Somewhere I’ve never been by MinilocIsland (14.6k words) - The first time Even meets Jonas' best friend, nothing goes according to plan. 

If I Should Fall Behind by MinilocIsland (14.7k words) - The plan for tonight had been crystal clear. Stay close to his best friend, and steal her away if needed. Hold her hand through the ordeal of meeting Noora again for the first time in years. Then Even shows up – and suddenly, nothing goes the way it was supposed to. 

All I Ever Wanted by MinilocIsland (14.8k words) - Isak is such a good friend. Probably the best there is. How else could he explain that he's agreed to join Magnus to this place deep in the woods for six full days of silence, meditation, and utter boredom? One thing, he knows. There's nothing exciting for him there. Right? Or: the silent retreat AU. 

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******* Bonus *******

Season 3: Jonas by Laika_the_husband (WIP, SBB 2021 fic) - There is a scene in the end of the script for season 1, where Jonas and Isak kiss each other on a dare. This story is a retelling of season 3 in a universe, where that kiss happened and completely changed the way Jonas sees Isak. Written in Jonas' POV, the story examines sexuality, love, friendship and coming to terms with never getting the boy you shouldn't have fallen for in the first place.

What the fuck is wrong with me? by notanugget (11.6k words) - The five times isak felt guilty for being in love and the one time he didn’t 

thanks for the weed, thanks for everything by evak1isak (13.1k words) - Jokael. Jonas' dealer has moved to Denmark, and Even recommends his friend's weed. What Jonas didn't expect, though, was to develop a crush on a boy, on Mikael. 

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******* WIP *******

Baby, why do you have to shine so bright? by Lilacpotter - Even knew he was radiant, and he was used to people always wanting to be around him, enchanted by his captivating words and glowing smiles, as if he was the tantalising sun. But then one day, he comes across someone who shines much brighter than the sun itself in Even’s eyes.

Lonely Hearts Club by EndingsNotTheStory - The Hearts Club. A show run by Isak and his 3 friends. He's kind of had enough with hearing about people's relationship issues and giving advice. Until the guy from his theatre class and Isak's totally not crush Even calls, dealing with relationship issues. pining

[viastro]

keeping up with seventeen | S1EP1

ミ★ synopsis: thirteen chaotic men given their own reality tv show? more normal than you'd think!

ミ★ word count: 2,100

ミ★ taglist: @sunlightwoo​ @coppertrashi​ @sweetsoonhan​ @brinnalaine​ @minluvly​ @wonunuu​ @suhfluffy​ @shuajeong​ @euphorencia​ @imjustuhhvibing​ @minghao-will-be-the-death-of-me​ @shuahaeee​ @jaeyuni​ @sunflowergyeomie​ @cheolliehugs​ @chanberriees​ @vi-nnx​ @kodzumo​ @dwcljh​ @sbnchaos​ @taeguk-munchkin​ @w8nuzone​ @miyuuraaura​ @semicolorn​ @isa499​ @snowismyfirstname​ @escapewriter​ @coco-riki​ @banqtlattae​ @haonysus​​

ミ★ won’t let me tag: @smileyjmvn

let me know if you want to get added to the taglist!

previous | masterlist | next

KEY:

[[ double brackets = setting ]] 

[ single brackets and italics = action made by member ]

| video edit |

bold = speaker

[[ The video begins with a shot of the blue skies, a bird flying past as the sound of something frying fills the background. The shot changes to Jeonghan standing in the kitchen, chin resting over Joshua’s shoulder as he watches the man cook them breakfast. ]]

JOSHUA INTERVIEW

“Yeah… Jeonghan can’t cook. Like at all.” 

JEONGHAN INTERVIEW

[ A look of surprise is on Jeonghan’s face from what the director told him ] 

“Joshua said I can’t cook?” 

[ Jeonghan lets out a loud laugh before falling into a straight face, staring directly at the camera. He crosses his legs, folding his hands over his knees. ] 

[ The director feels a drop of sweat fall down their neck from the intimidating gaze. ]

“I’d like to see proof supporting Joshua’s bold statement.”

| video cuts to a flashback reel of Jeonghan in the kitchen |

[ Minghao steps out of his room to prepare his own dinner, only to pause when the scent of burning floods his nose. He quickly walks down the hallway and enters the kitchen, and his eyes widen at the sight before him. ]

[ The camera pans over to Jeonghan by the stove, reading the instructions on the army stew packaging with no care in the world. ]

minghao: [ cautiously steps into the kitchen ] Jeonghan… 

jeonghan: [ looks up towards Minghao, letting out a fond smile at the younger ] Minghao! I was just cooking dinner.

minghao: [ nods his head with a concerned smile on his face ] How has that been going? 

jeonghan: [ smiles brightly and gives Minghao a thumbs up, food packaging still in hand ] It’s been going great!

[ The cameraman slowly zooms into the black smoke emitting from the pot behind Jeonghan, capturing the moment the soup boils over the pot. ]

minghao: [ gasps loudly and rushes forward ] JEONGHAN! THE POT!

[ Jeonghan raises an eyebrow and turns around, only to scream at the sight and quickly grab the kitchen towel. ]

jeonghan: OW IT BURNS!

minghao: WHY THE FUCK DID YOU TOUCH IT—

| fade out |

mingyu: [ chops a red pepper as he looks over towards the stove, seeing the vegetables that need to be stirred. He turns towards Jeonghan ] Jeonghan! Can you stir the veggies for me please? I need to finish cutting this.

jeonghan: [ nods ] Okey dokey.

a few minutes later

mingyu: [ frowns as he sniffs the air, halting his movements ] Jeonghan?

jeonghan: [ looks up from his phone as he stands by the stove ] yeah?

mingyu: did you stir the vegetables?

jeonghan: yeah, why?

[ Mingyu and Jeonghan both turn to look at the stove at the exact same time, only to scream in horror when they see the plastic spatula melting onto the pan. ]

[ the camera follows after Mingyu as he frantically lifts the pan off the stove, while Jeonghan runs off frame to open the windows due to the overwhelming smell of burnt plastic ]

| cuts back to jeonghan’s interview |

[ Jeonghan stares in silence as the flashback reel ends. He uncrosses his legs, and slowly nods his head, fixing a strand of hair. ]

“Okay... valid.”

[ The camera follows Jeonghan and Joshua as the two walk to the kitchen table with the food Joshua cooked, settling down in the chairs and preparing to eat. ] 

jeonghan: [ eyes widen in joy from the food in his mouth, looking up towards the camera ] wow, this food I made is so good.

joshua: [ squints at him, reaching out and nudging the latter, causing Jeonghan to let out a laugh ] who made the food?

jeonghan: well, if we look at it this way. [ lifts up his two hands for emphasis, causing Joshua to raise an eyebrow ]

jeonghan: I woke you up, right? 

[ Joshua nods his head slowly, wondering where Jeonghan could possibly be going with this. ]

jeonghan: So since I woke you up, you decided to go make breakfast. Which in turn, was because of me. Therefore, I made breakfast.

[ The camera slowly zooms into Joshua’s flabbergasted smile, catching the twitch to Joshua’s eye as his lips press into a thin line. ]

joshua: mhm.

JOSHUA INTERVIEW

“I hate it here.” 

vernon: [ walks into the kitchen, and steals a bite of Joshua’s fried rice ] mmm, yummy. 

jeonghan: [ beaming ] you like it? I made it!

vernon: [ immediately spits it out into the garbage ] 

[ Joshua bursts into laughter as Jeonghan just squints at the younger, watching as Vernon quickly walks over to the fridge to pour himself a glass of water. ]

jeonghan: why’d you spit it out ??

vernon: [ turns to glance at Jeonghan as he chugs down a glass of water ] cause everything you cook is like a really old road kill that was cooked only to be run over again. AKA, poison. 

joshua: [ laughs, shaking his head as he takes a bite of bacon ] it’s okay, Vernon. I made the food, you can take the leftovers in the pan.

[ Vernon smiles brightly, thanking Joshua before preparing himself a plate. The camera follows after him as he leaves the kitchen with a plate of fried rice, only to stop and zoom into Jeonghan’s face, which is currently sporting a frown. ]

joshua: [ glances at Jeonghan, letting out a chuckle at the sight of his pout ] You know, you could take cooking classes if you actually want to learn. I heard that one restaurant down the street is offering them before opening hours. 

jeonghan: [ scoffs ] Why would I take cooking classes when we have Kim Mingyu? 

mingyu: [ yells from his room ] No!

jeonghan: I meant Wen Junhui.

[ Jeonghan and Joshua glance down at the table when Jeonghan’s cell phone lights up. He lifts up his phone to look at the notification, only to let out a sigh when he sees the text. ]

junhui: no, jeonghan.

jeonghan: [ turns off his phone and places it face down onto the table ] Can’t stand that puta anyways. 

[ Joshua snickers behind his hand, simply taking another bite of fried rice as he scrolls through his phone. The camera zooms in on the pout to Jeonghan’s lips as he stares at the food, deep in thought. ]

JEONGHAN INTERVIEW

“Pfftt, me? Signing up for cooking classes and paying for them? No way. I have one thing other than beauty,” 

[ Jeonghan runs a hand through his long blonde hair, before staring directly into the camera with a determined expression. ]

“And that’s pride.”

[[ transition music plays as the video begins with the sight of the Seoul skyline during the morning, an insert shot of a sped up clip of the cars driving past the bridge being placed. It cuts to a shot of a small restaurant named do re mi, zooming into Jeonghan wearing a baseball cap and a mask as he looks around frantically before sneaking inside. ]]

JEONGHAN INTERVIEW

“Okay, so what if I wanted to take cooking classes! I’m sick,” 

[ Raises his arms up for emphasis ]

“SICK of being told I’m not a good cook! And since… Mingyu and Jun… didn’t wanna teach me, this was my best bet. I’m going to surprise all the guys with my cooking skills by the end of this cooking class!”

[ The camera zooms in on Jeonghan standing at a table, an apron over his body as he takes a break from chopping vegetables, now looking around at his surroundings. ]

jeonghan: [ internally ] i’m surrounded by children.

[ The camera cuts to different angles of the room, showing that Jeonghan is, indeed, surrounded by children who are playing with their dough and screaming with their parents. ]

child: [ walks over to Jeonghan’s table and peers over it, staring directly at the pizza dough Jeonghan made ] sir?

jeonghan: [ glances up from the chopping table, smiling at the curious child that’s staring at his rising dough ] yes?

child: [ points at the dough ] why your dough look like that?

jeonghan: [ chuckles as he glances over towards his creation, smiling proudly ] like what?

child: like an underbaked potato that got stepped on until it was just a sad piece of mush.

[ the camera zooms into Jeonghan’s face as the man simply blinks at the child, not uttering a word. ]

JEONGHAN INTERVIEW

“You know, I like children. I really do.”

[ rests his hands on the arms of the chair, now looking serious. ]

“But these hands are rated E for Everyone.”

[[ The video cuts to a shot of Joshua and Mingyu playing games on the TV in their living room, laughing as they try to sabotage the other. Their attention is grabbed when the front door suddenly opens. ]]

joshua: [ smiles at Jeonghan as he steps into the house, only to frown when he catches sight of all the flour on Jeonghan’s face and hair. ] Jeonghan?! What happened to you?

[ The camera follows after Mingyu and Joshua as they walk over to Jeonghan, who is currently staring at the floor. ]

mingyu: Jeonghan?

jeonghan: Well, I did end up going to the cooking class that Joshua told me about.

[ Joshua and Mingyu exchange a look, before turning to Jeonghan and urging him to go on. ]

jeonghan: and then I got into a little... tussle.

joshua: A tussle?!

jeonghan: a little one!

| video cuts to a flashback |

jeonghan: This dough is like my child, therefore you just insulted my kid. You don’t see me asking your mother why she didn’t swallow your ass!

child: [ tilts their head to the side ] swallow my ass?

[ The camera zooms out as the child’s mother walks into frame, looking furious after overhearing what Jeonghan said and her child saying a curse word. ] 

child’s mother: [ grasps her child and hides his face in her stomach, shooting a death glare towards Jeonghan ] What the hell is wrong with you? 

jeonghan: I was protecting my child. [ reaches for bowl of pizza dough and hugging it to his chest ] 

child’s mother: You’re delusional! Why are you even at a cooking class that’s meant for children?

jeonghan: [ lets out a sigh ] you should be more worried about the fact that your pizza looks ugly than asking me about why I’m improving my life skills.

[ The audible sound of the cameraman’s gasp is heard when the mother grabs a handful of flour and throws it at Jeonghan’s face. The camera zooms in on Jeonghan, catching the smallest of smirks on his face as he wipes away some of the flour. ]

jeonghan: [ tilts his head as he opens his eyes, letting out a dark chuckle as he glances at the woman ] You just triggered a war.

| end of flashback |

[ Joshua and Mingyu just stare at Jeonghan with concerned expressions on their faces while the latter grins at them like he didn’t just get banned from do re mi. ]

jeonghan: [ startled ] Oh! Before I got kicked out though, the chef let me finish making my pizza so you guys should try it.

joshua: [ glances at Mingyu ] is that a good idea?

mingyu: probably not.

jeonghan: [ eyes turn to slits as he stares at the two, holding out the box that contains his food ] try my pizza if you want to live another day.

joshua: [ laughs nervously as he takes the box from Jeonghan’s hand and opens it up, only for his eyes to immediately water from the smell ] O-Oh wow.

mingyu: [ internally ] i’m going to die today.

jeonghan: [ now smiling ] looks good huh? Try it! I wanna see your guys’ reactions.

[ Joshua and Mingyu share another worried glance before they each take a slice of pizza. The camera zooms in on the two of them as they give Jeonghan a nervous smile before taking a bite. ]

[ Jeonghan watches expectantly, hope reflected on his features as he waits. Joshua’s face brightens in surprise, along with Mingyu’s as they continue to chew. They both look at Jeonghan and nod their heads, making the latter smile widely. ]

jeonghan: is it good? 

mingyu: it’s surprisingly good!

joshua: [ nods his head in agreement ] I like it a lot!

jeonghan: [ lets out a breath of relief as he claps his hands ] Yay! Finally, I cooked good food. I need to go take a shower though, I’m pretty sure this flour is clogging my pores. 

joshua: [ nods his head, gesturing towards the bathroom ] Go shower.

jeonghan: [ smiling ] Okay, you guys can finish the pizza by the way! I can make more later since you both like it so much.

[ Mingyu and Joshua nod their heads as they watch Jeonghan head down the hall, a trail of flour following after him. It’s only when they hear the bathroom door close and the shower come to life that they immediately gag, running to the garbage can and the sink to spit out the vile pizza. ]

JOSHUA INTERVIEW

“So essentially. The lesson of this episode is to just, not let Jeonghan cook.”

“Ever.”

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