#seventeen shitposts

[hundredpoundsofsassyandunstable]

Tired of people saying Duke Thomas hates or finds Damian Wayne weird and immature and annoying when they literally are at most three years apart in age, Damian is a literal genius and Duke is a literal genius, AND CANONICALLY THEY BOTH WENT OUT FOR ICE CREAM.

I cannot think of any remarkable scene with Duke and Tim interacting ILL BE HONEST and I do love to think about Tim being an older brother to not Duke and Damian (the trouble makers) .

SEND TIM TO COLLEGE AND HE IS IN HIS TWENTIES CRISIS and pleaseeee more interactions with Damian and Duke? Pretty or ugly please?

Also yes the three of them are autistic i do not make the fucking rules.

My age line for them( doesn't have to be urs)

Tim: 20-22

Duke: 16-18

Damian: 14-15

Duke and Damian hung out and Damian Wayne thirteen and Duke Thomas sixteen in we are robin or robin wars?

Also for me Jason's like what 2-3 years older than Tim?

So for my timeline

Jason: 22-25 (like if Tim is 21 Jason is 23?)

Tim: 20-22 (preferably 21)

Duke: 17-18

Damian: 14-16 (ok I'll be honest for me Tim is either 5 or six years older than Damian preferably six?)

And for my own little timeline Dick is around six years older than Tim maybe seven? And Dick is like five years older than Jason. But FRFR for me dick is around fourteen years older than Damian .

Damian: 14-15

Dick: 28-29 (sure he can be thrifty that's fine)

And yk when Damian was born for me? 2008.

So basically my bullshit is

Dick: 28-29-30

Jason: 22-25

Tim:20-22?

Duke: 16-18

Damian: 14-15

What about Cass? I need to fr read more on her but I'm going on that she's older than Jason by a few months

So she'd be like maybe

Cass: 22-26

Jason: 22-25

What about Steph?

A year older than Tim for me so

Steph: 21-23

Tim: 20-22

I'm flexible with Tim's age ig

But it's mostly centered around him being six years older than Damian? Give or take a year

Bruce? Well I put him at taking dick in at maybe 25? Maybe less And Dick was like 9-11 so I usually make a fourteen age gap as well (isn't that fucked up? How Damian and Dicks relationship mirrors Dicks AND Bruce's relationship?)

So like if dick is 28 and Bruce is 14-15 years older give or take

Bruce : 42-44

Dick: 28-30

Cass: 22-26

Jason: 22-25

Steph: 21-24

Tim: 20-23

Duke: 16-18 (or ig 16-19)

Damian: 14-16 (maybe two or three years younger than duke)

What about Babs? I always thought she was seven years older than dick and seven years younger than Bruce? (Correct me if you wanna)

So Babs is 35 or 35

Bruce: 42

Babs: 35

Dick: 28

Cass: 23-25???

Jason: 23-24

Tim: 22

Duke: 18-19

Damian: 15-16

HEHEHEH

[heavenlyraindrops]

♱Father Forgive Me (For I have Sinned) ~Chapter Seventeen♱

Lucifer Morningstar x Angel!Reader Fandom: Hazbin Hotel Chapter Seventeen Warnings: profanity, kind of sexual harassment but not really Visit the first tag on this post to see all other chapters.

♱ In which the purest soul in Heaven falls from grace… for the Devil. ♱

[Chapter Seventeen]

At first all you could see was darkness, coating your vision and sending you into pits of despair. 

It took much of your quickly draining energy to blearily unglue your eyelids open. Your wrists burned with the scathing roughness of the rope that bound them together, and a sickeningly sweet scent burned in the back of your nostrils, spices and something malevolent you couldn’t place. A haze of pink smoke curled around you like snakes waiting to strike. The red city glowed from the huge windows, stretching from floor to ceiling on the left wall. 

“Well, what are we supposed to do with it?” The man’s voice sounded strained, crackling with electricity. Through your hazy vision you could see legs, moving across the cold floor. 

“I know just what to do with her, cariño, don’t worry,” came the reply, the curl of the owner’s lip laced through his voice. Red cloth trailed the floor. You shuddered and both feet turned to face you. 

“It’s awake,” the staticky voice said quickly, tensed up. You sluggishly tipped your head up. It was the TV and the creature, which towered over you as you shrunk back.

“Hello?” You rasped. It grinned again, showing all its- no, his teeth. 

“Hello there, sweetheart,” he said, crouching low to meet your eyes evenly. He held a cigar in his hand, the sweet pink smoke curling from it dangerously as his eyes brightened. “Do you know where you are?”

“Val,” said the TV.

“Hell,” you said, voice shaking as it stroked your cheek with a single finger.

“Val!” The TV snapped. The moth man looked up. The TV inhaled sharply, smoothing down his clothes as he yanked the moth man upright. Then cracked a smile. “Vox.” He pointed to himself. “Valentino.” He gestured to the moth man. “Pleasure to be meeting you, despite the…” he stared at the ropes binding you and his eyes narrowed. “Circumstances.”

“Pleasure.” You forced a smile, but it came out as a grimace.

The door burst open, and a shorter female demon tottered in, sharp eyes taking in the situation in one scathing swoop of a glance. 

“I came as soon as I could,” she said, immediately snapping out her phone. You grimaced again as her piercing eyes landed on you. “So. We’ve got the angel.”

“And my newest actor,” Valentino announced with a flourish. You stared at him, unaware of what he meant, yet catching onto the fact that it was most likely The doll’s eyebrows knitted together.

Vox cleared his throat. “Velvet.” He jerked his head subtly at Valentino. Velvet stared at him blankly, as if to say, ‘not my problem.’ 

“We haven’t decided what to do with her yet, Val. Especially whether or not she’s another one of your porn actors,” Vox said. His words sent you into a state of panic, going unnoticed as he forced another grin at Valentino, who rolled his eyes, opening his mouth with another retort which ended up descending into an argument. 

Velvet stepped over to you, crossing her arms as she looked down. “Hey,” she said. You didn’t reply, body frozen up.

What the fuck are they going to do to me?

Velvette nudged you with her shoe. “Hey.”

You looked up, heart in your throat. “H-hello.” Velvette bent down to your level, eyes tracing your face. Her phone reappeared in her hands, and she flashed the screen at you, a news channel. You saw a picture of you surrounded by the crowd, Valentino clutching a gun in his hands. The headline read: FALLEN ANGEL LANDS OUTSIDE VEES TOWER. The screen morphed as the topic changed. You couldn’t catch the headline but Lucifer’s face appeared, making your breath catch, before Velvet pulled the phone away. 

“You’re all over the news,” she grinned. “Not often we get such a dramatic entrance from a fallen angel. Definitely not in broad daylight.” 

“What about… the other thing?” You glanced at the phone in her hand. She looked at it.

“Oh, this. This is from weeks ago. I guess I’m not surprised they’re still talking about it.” She waved her hand. “But not the point.”

You nodded nervously.

“Look. Sign a contract with me, and I can keep you away from those two idiots.” She jerked her head at the sinners fighting behind her. “You don’t want Val to own you. Believe me.” A chuckle escaped her lips.

Your chest constricted. “What do you mean sign a contract?”

“I mean sell me your soul.” She grinned sharply, extending a hand. The air buzzed with energy. You stared at her hand in horror. 

“I- no.” You scrambled away from her, movements restricted by the rope around your wrists. “No. No.”

She scowled, snatching her hand away. “Jeez, bitch. Calm down.” She sighed, then straightened up. “Guess you asked for this.”

“What do you mean,” you forced out. She giggled and stepped to the side, beckoning at Valentino and Vox after turning to them. 

“I don’t want her. Do what you want.” And walked away to the corner of the room, watching the three of your with a glint in her eye.

You opened your mouth to talk but Valentino grabbed your arm, wrenching you up. His hands fell onto your shoulders, nails digging through your clothes and into your skin.

“Don’t touch me,” you hissed as his hand went to your waist, then hips, holding you in place even as you jerked away, bile rising in your throat. 

“You’re perfect.” He looked at Vox, licking his lips. “She’s perfect.”

“Don’t touch me,” you repeated, feeling your eyes burn with tears.

“You don’t need her,” Valentino scoffed, his second hand tracing a path down your collarbone. Vox watched, eyes crazed as Valentino’s hands slipped beneath your shirt. “What would you use her for?”

Your eyes burned even harder, painful even. You realized it wasn’t from tears as your palms simmered. 

“I SAID DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME!”

Valentino crashed to the floor, letting out a warbled scream as his chest sizzled where your power had hit him. The ropes tore away as your palms burned. 

“Get her!” Velvette growled.

Vox lunged for you, but you charged across the room, stepping purposefully on Valentino’s head and cracking it back against the floor before throwing yourself at the giant windows. 

Your shoulder slammed against the window, pain streaking through your arm, cracks searing through the glass and making the window crumble in a shower of twinkling shards. You fell through the crystalline rain, air tumbling through your hair as you fell into the red evening. Your wings burst from your back. You were free. 

You were in hell, and you were free. 

-

A/N: [name] really seems to have a knack for crashing through windows

[mydarlingclaudia]

[cottonraincoat]

before the day ends I just have to say - happy 242nd anniversary of the reopening of the Italian opera in Vienna, in 1783, on the 22nd of April, which was also a tuesday

[heartepub]

haikyuu!! 🤝 svt — shitpost edition.

note. outing myself as a chronic gose watcher. do not take this seriously. instead, take @ylangelegy kae's hq x svt seriously. thank yewwwww

IWAIZUMI HAJIME 🤝 CHOI SEUNGCHEOL — arm wrestling kings

FUTAKUCHI KENJI 🤝 YOON JEONGHAN — loki-isms

SUGAWARA KOUSHI 🤝 HONG JISOO — gremlin or gentleman?

ENNOSHITA CHIKARA 🤝 WEN JUNHUI — sleepy eyes

NISHINOYA YUU 🤝 KWON SOONYOUNG — loud asf

KOZUME KENMA 🤝 JEON WONWOO — games + no sleep schedule

KITA SHINSUKE 🤝 LEE JIHOON — rice

TSUKISHIMA KEI 🤝 XU MINGHAO — "you're loud and it's tiring"

AZUMANE ASAHI 🤝 KIM MINGYU — scaredy-cat who is teased as old

BOKUTO KOUTAROU 🤝 LEE SEOKMIN — do NOT make him sulk

YAKU MORISUKE 🤝 BOO SEUNGKWAN — kicking

TENDOU SATORI 🤝 HANSOL VERNON CHWE — suddenly a kiwi

KUROO TETSUROU 🤝 LEE CHAN — their laugh is a try not to laugh challenge

[jazzically]

Hello! We see that you have an Elias Bouchard. To upgrade, add:

one (1) sense of humor

one (1) yassification of the violence carried deep within their soul

three (3) Hawaiian T-shirts

fourteen (14) allottments of finger guns

two (2) tablets of posture softener

one (1) six-week vacation in the Bahamas

You should end up with a Timothy Stoker. Hope this helps!

[cheollollipop]

w e l c o m e ♡ — — — — ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ — — — — ♡ ꒰ [key] ⌗ °. ♡ ⸝⸝ [she/her] ꒱ 26

♯┆masterlist .ᐟ

"Say the name, SEVENTEEN!”

"8 makes 1 team."

"To the world, 여기는 NCT!"

“CONNECT! Hello, we are ENHYPEN!”

join my taglist!

requests: open

˖ ݁𖥔.☁︎.𖥔 ݁ ˖ NETWORKS ───── @k-films @neocity-net @blossomnet @svthub @keopihaus

[complaincity]

everytime carats refer to cheol as "cherry" i picture him in a skimpy outfit and thigh high boots doing the damn thing on a pole

[chrswlls]

"If Not For Broadcast were real Jeremy would be a centrist!!"

"NO! He would be a socialist!!"

Jeremy Donaldson if Nowverse were real:

"You know I'm personally a fan of this Lee Jihoon guy. You know, from SEVENTEEN? The boy band?"

[sr-stories]

Man, I love Wattpad.

[15-lizards]

True wisdom is knowing that Arya is someone who should not be pushed into a romantic relationship with her good friend because that will seemingly make her happy. True peace is coming to terms with the fact that Gendarya is unfortunately going to be canon

[mezzyb0nb0n]

Is it just me or is Simon and Stella so “Seventeen” coded?

(With the narrative of them being lovers who were torn apart by chaos and misery)

[chaosspelledwrong]

balling swag style in your askbox right now

Bro busting it down like

/pos /silly

[joolsreads]

Some pregnant people play Mozart or nursery rhymes for their unborn child. My child will know Aju Nice by heart by the time they're born.

[beluluvssvt]

guys physics exam in less than 48 hrs and im literally just chilling🙏

[whatvilecreature]

My favourite hobby recently has been finding the best placed to take horrible, mostly flash photographs of my Tsukiyama figure