#edit: changed formatting bc why did i do it like that??

[honeybeeff]

cobija

[gamerwoo]

[skz] In Between: Felix and...

characters: felix x gn reader (if there are any she/her pronouns that i missed while editing i'm so sorry it's an accident)

genre/warnings: idol!felix, streamer!reader, fluff, humor, established relationship, the whole fic is set up like an interview video, reader is bigger than felix, reader's online alias is saturn and is sometimes referred to as such, it's mentioned that reader is older than jeongin, one mention of a fic about a threesome but nothing explicit happens

word count: 3,800

summary: welcome to the couple's interview called 'in between:' where your favorite couples answer some questions to show a little background and insight to their relationships. today, we're exploring in between: saturn and felix!

a/n: i've done this kind of format for a fic before and i've always wanted to revisit that bc it was a lot of fun and sooo much easier imo so here we are!!! also don't ask me why the header is so low quality it saved normal i swear i think tumblr fucked it up 😔

chan | minho | changbin | hyunjin | jisung | seungmin | jeongin

[a short preview of the video plays where _____ is staring deadpan into the camera.]

_____: I behave. Gotta keep it cool with JYPapi.

[felix stares at _____ without expression. they don’t look back at him. they just continue to stare at the camera without any expression. a screen saying ‘technical difficulties’ pops up before the video cuts to the beginning of the interview. _____ and felix are sitting on stools beside each other.]

_____: Hi, I’m _____, or you might know me online as Saturn.

Felix: And I’m Felix from Stray Kids.

_____: And today, we’ve been invited to Gamerwoo to do a fun little interview all about our lil’ romance [they start drumming their fingers together like some sort of villain].

Felix: [laughing] This is In Between: Felix and Saturn.

[the intro card plays, and in the background, felix can be heard still laughing with _____ loudly asking, 'what?!'. then it changes to the question card before going back to the couple.]

[what was your first date?]

Felix: Is it, like…real date? Like, in person?

_____: Yeah, we went on Minecraft dates and even an Overwatch date once.

Felix: We don’t talk about the Overwatch date.

_____: You’re just mad that I picked Roadhog.

[felix slowly turns to look at _____. they continue to just stare back at him. a card that says ‘technical difficulties’ pops up before the video jumps back to the couple.]

Felix: Our first date was shortly after the first stream we did together, I think.

_____: [nodding] Yeah, it was. Because we were supposed to meet not too long after that stream, and then a couple days later you were like, ‘do you wanna go grab street food and I can show you around?’ and I was like, ‘haha okay!’ and then you ended up holding my hand and I stopped functioning.

Felix: [laughing loudly] No, ‘cause I could literally hear your brain trying to work! I just held their hand and they suddenly just stopped eating their ice cream, their face went blank, and even their walking kinda stopped so I stopped to look at them and they were so flustered.

_____: I wasn’t expecting it! I genuinely had no idea you liked me romantically so I was just like, ‘oh, we’re hanging out and he’s being nice,’ and then it was actually more than that and I was like– [_____ just stops and stares intensely wide-eyed].

[how did you meet and what were your first impressions?]

_____: So I stream online and I mostly play video games, and Felix really likes video games, too. And I knew that already because I’m a Stay and I was a Stay before I met him, and I would talk about them and Seventeen and New Jeans and stuff on my streams a lot.

Felix: And I just found _____ one day when I was looking through streams trying to find something to put on in the background, and I just really liked their stuff and kept watching. They were really funny and just fun to listen to, and they’re good at games, which is a bonus. It was fun to watch and _____ started to become one of my most watched streamers.

_____: But then this **********er–

[felix starts laughing loudly.]

_____: –starts telling Stays on one of his lives that he’s been really into my streams lately. And then suddenly my chat is going off, and ****’s being sent to me on Twitter and Discord, and I’m like, ‘what’s happening? Did somebody die?’ and then I died.

Felix: But then from there, y’know, we kinda reached out to one another – I think… [he looks at _____] Actually, I DM’d you, right?

_____: I tweeted something at you saying, like–

[the tweet in question comes up on the screen, reading: hi mr jyp, if i could ever play some games with felix on stream, that would be super cool :) thank u <;3]

_____: ‘hey, would love to play with felix sometime’ and I tagged Stray Kids or something, and then you reached out on Instagram and said you’d love to play a game sometime so we figured it out and ended up streaming the first time we played together, and I was absolutely terrified and panicked for the first 15 minutes of stream until we got into a call.

Felix: You were so shy, too. [he smiles brightly and chuckles]

_____: I was so afraid of saying or doing something that could get you in trouble. I literally lectured chat from the day we finalized everything all the way up until the day we played just telling them to not be too vulgar or inappropriate or whatever because I was so scared of just ****ing something up.

Felix: And now you swear in any video we do together. [chuckles]

_____: Not your lives, though. [_____ looks right into camera very deadpan] I behave. Gotta keep it cool with JYPapi.

[felix stares at _____ without expression. they don’t look back at him. they just continue to stare at the camera without any expression. ‘technical difficulties’ comes back up before cutting back to the couple back to normal.]

Felix: I will admit, I was nervous, too, when we first played together. I was basically just a fan getting to play with their favorite streamer.

_____: [grinning back at felix] I know! You were so cute! I was, like, internally squealing.

Felix: And externally. There’s proof in the VOD.

[_____ turns to look at the camera again with felix laughing at them. their face is scrunched up despite how flustered they look.]

_____: Next question.

[who asked who out and how did it happen?]

_____: Felix. [they point to their left].

Felix: [shyly raises his hand] Yeah, that was me. I just– Okay, so we were both pretty shy with each other at first, but we got a lot more comfortable and were just kinda best friends, but there were moments I feel like where we’d both get kinda shy again [he starts to look to _____ for confirmation] like we both felt something there but we were both too shy to say anything.

_____: [smiling at the camera like it’s a bad infomercial] Take a shot every time Felix says ‘shy’!

[he snorts and bats their hand away when they give a thumbs up to the camera. it jump cuts to them after they’d calmed down from giggling at each other.]

_____: Honestly, I will say we kind of poked at the topic but never did anything for a while. Like we’d be like, ‘oh, let’s go on a date in whatever game we’re playing’ and I think there were serious undertones for both of us. But I was like, ‘there’s no way he actually has feelings, he has to think about his career, i’m just some idiot online,’ so I never said anything, and he was– Well, I don’t wanna say it for you since it was your feelings.

Felix: I was nervous about, like, scaring off a really good friend, especially since I did become a fan of theirs. I was watching _____ for over a year before we actually started talking so I think I was the same kind of starstruck as they were. I was just nervous like they were that this was all just a friendship and there wasn’t anything more from it.

_____: [looking at felix] I think I just started making it really obvious, though.

Felix: I definitely started to get a feeling that you were interested and the playful flirting was actually kinda serious. Like, you know how friends flirt? It was a lot of that, but I started getting a feeling they were trying to kinda be serious. So we went on that date and, like, I had planned it as a date but didn’t tell them. I just said we were hanging out, and then after I held their hand I was like, ‘so is this a good first date?’ or something like that, and yeah.

_____: And then he asked me out literally that night.

Felix: Oh, yeah, I couldn’t wait. I was scared I’d chicken out if I waited longer.

_____: I will admit, though, I took a couple days to give an answer because I was so nervous and scared.

Felix: [shrugs, looking at _____] Yeah, but we talked it out and then you said yes.

_____: [looking at felix] Yeah, I was worried about, like…ruining your career [laughs softly]. You made me feel less anxious about it.

Felix: [grinning] I try.

[what did the members think of _____, and what did _____’s friends think of felix?]

_____: [grinning] My friends were so ****in’ excited to meet Felix.

[felix starts laughing.]

_____: Like, I feel like kpop has become really popular with a lot of streamers for whatever reason, so a lot of them already knew who Stray Kids were. So when we played that first time– [suddenly turns very deadpan and stares directly into the camera] We played Bread & Fred, by the way. Very awful game to meet someone on. But anyway [they go back to normal] we decided to set up a time that Felix could play with my friends and I since I know a few popular streamers and we play together. So I reached out and asked if I could invite Felix from Stray Kids to play a game with us and they all lost it. They were so ****ing excited to meet him and then they were, like, obsessed with him when we did finally play. 

Felix: I was honestly excited to meet them, too. Some of them I had been a fan of for a while so it was fun to get to meet them and play and stuff.

_____: [scoffs and rolls their eyes but it’s obviously in a joking way] And yet you weren’t a fan of me yet.

Felix: You were newer!

[the ‘technical difficulties’ screen pops up for a few seconds again before going back to the couple.]

Felix: Yeah, the guys really liked _____. Chan would sometimes watch their streams, too, and I.N and Seungmin liked seeing them Overwatch gameplay. I remember the first time we planned to have a 5-stack in Overwatch with me, _____, Chan, Seungmin, and I.N, after we all got off and left Discord, I.N came into my room and was like, ‘Whoa, we gotta have them in our stack all the time’.

_____: [laughing softly] They only like me because I’m their carry.

Felix: [suddenly turns his head to look at them] Hey! Untrue!

Interviewer: Who’s the best at video games between the two of you?

Felix & _____: Me.

[the couple turns to look at each other. ‘technical difficulties’ pops up again before cutting back to the couple.]

_____: There’s literally proof. Should we pull up our Overwatch ranks? If you want, we could compare your League rank to mine.

Felix: You don’t even play Lea–

[he stops like he realizes something, and _____ starts laughing. he deflates and looks grumpy despite the smile growing on his face.]

_____: [still giggling] Exactly. You’re higher ranked than me in League.

Felix: [grumbling] Next question.

[who said ‘i love you’ first?]

[they both go to say something, mouths open. felix looks happy while _____ looks embarrassed, and they put their hands over felix’s body to try and keep him from speaking up first.]

_____: In my defense, I was very intoxicated so it doesn’t count!

Felix: [still grinning] It so does. [looks at the camera and tries to fight off _____ who is physically trying to get him to stop talking] So we had been playing It Takes Two together, which we did on their stream, and we were drinking for that, so after stream, we played some Minecraft just so we could, y’know, hang out in private and whatever. We were working on our new farm and stuff. But anyway, before _____ went to sleep and we were saying goodbye… [starts giggling] They literally just go, ‘I love you’ after the ‘goodnight’ and I just stopped because I was like, ‘did I hear that right?’ And then they started panicking and trying to take it back, and then they ended the call before I could even say anything!

_____: Because you were dead silent and it was embarrassing!

Felix: I just couldn’t believe you’d said that! But I left you a voicemail.

_____: He did… He called me and I didn’t answer and he was like, ‘hey, hope you sleep well. Also I love you too,’ and I died. I literally still have the voicemail saved.

Felix: [giggling and smiling brightly at _____] That’s so cute.

[has felix ever written a song about you and released it? if so, what was it?]

[the couple speaks at the same time]

_____: Not that I know of…

Felix: I have not.

[_____ looks to Felix and lets him speak.]

Felix: I’ve had, y’know, like…inspiration. But I’ve never written just one entire song all about _____. Not to say I haven’t tried, but they’re still just lyrics. 

_____: You did cover our song, though.

Felix: I did! We have a song that we decided we think of the other when we hear it, and I covered it once and it was posted on Youtube. It was before we were public, though, so I don’t think anyone thought it was anything.

_____: Dude, people were definitely shipping us before we were officially together.

Felix: [shrugs and chuckles] Okay, yeah, you’re right.

_____: You’re not slick.

[who’s the driest texter, and what are your names saved as in each other’s phones?]

_____: I’m so…painfully dry.

Felix: You are not.

_____: Compared to you, I feel like I am. Like, I feel like you always have a good reply to everything and you always seem interested and invested. I feel like I come across as like, ‘yup. sure. okay.’

Felix: No, you just…– Sometimes you only reply with a meme and I kinda sit there for a minute like, ‘okay, what do I do with this?’ [laughs]

_____: [shrugs] Sometimes I don’t know what to say.

Felix: What’s my name in your phone? [smirks and wiggles his eyebrows at _____]

_____: [dramatically clears their throat and shifts in their seat] So let me walk you through the timeline. At first, it was just ‘Felix’ with, like, the chick emoji and a heart because, y’know, I love Stray Kids. Then I changed it to ‘my little pogchamp’ when we started dating for shits and giggles, but I didn’t like that you weren’t in alphabetical order anymore, so I changed it back to ‘Felix’ with a few different heart emojis. Now it’s ‘Lix’ with the sun emoji and some hearts.

Felix: [laughing loudly] My little pogchamp?!

_____: I know yours is gonna be something super cheesy currently, so don’t even.

Felix: [pulling out his phone] It used to be. It’s normal currently.

_____: Walk me through the timeline.

Felix: So it was just ‘Saturn’ at first. Then it changed to _____, and then it was your name with some hearts, and now it’s just ‘baby _____’ with a sunflower and some hearts [he shows them his phone]

_____: Why a sunflower?

Felix: Because Stay call me the sun, and you’re my sun but I thought it should be different. So a sunflower…

[as felix trails off, he gets more flustered, and _____’s smile widens until they’re just looking at each other and smiling and giggling quietly.]

_____: You’re too cute sometimes.

Felix: [shrugs while putting his phone away, still grinning] Yeah, I try.

[do you read fanfiction about each other?]

_____: There was one time on stream where we somehow got onto the topic of fanfiction, and chat was asking if there was any of specifically me and Felix so I looked it up. For the record, there is, but I didn’t read it.

Felix: What was it about?

_____: The warnings were very much not safe for me to be reading on stream, that’s what I’m gonna tell you.

Felix: I haven’t looked up anything about us. I mean, when we first debuted, I was kind of curious and looked up about myself, but nothing about _____ or us together.

_____: Well, it’s out there.

Interviewer: Can you give us a hint as to what it was about?

_____: It was a threesome. [laughs] Can I say that?

Felix: [eyes wide, staring at _____] A threesome?! With who?!

_____: It was a reader insert.

Felix: [slowly turning back toward the camera, looking traumatized] I preferred not knowing.

_____: We’re bonding by both of us knowing this information. But now I kinda wanna look it up and see if it was any good…

[felix slowly turns back to _____, and the ‘technical difficulties’ screen pops up again before changing to the next question.]

[what item of yours does the other steal the most?]

_____: My entire ****ing setup!

[felix laughs evilly.]

_____: Anytime he stays over, he takes over my desk when I’m not using it, whether it’s before or after stream. He’s already there.

Felix: Everything runs so smoothly, and you have so many games! 

_____: You just built a new PC. You were bragging on Instagram about it.

Felix: [sighs] Yours is just better. It’s also very…aesthetically pleasing at your desk. And your chair is so comfy!

_____: I don’t even really steal anything of yours, though, so.

Felix: You can take whatever you want if you give me your setup. [he smiles and leans in, trying to seem persuasive]

Interviewer: You don’t steal anything from him?

_____: [shrugs] Not really. We don’t really share clothes or anything because of the size difference. I might’ve, like, accidentally stolen a pair of his socks a few times, maybe.

Felix: Oh! Your fuzzy socks are so comfy!

_____: All of the stealing is one-sided.

[which member of stray kids is _____ closest with?]

_____: [grinning] Innie!

Felix: Yeah, _____ and our youngest member, I.N get on really well. They play a lot of co-op games together. I think they stream with him more often than me, actually. [chuckles]

_____: I doubt that.

Felix: You guys are really close, though.

_____: I’m currently helping him build his first PC. [smiles and happily shrugs their shoulders] He’s like my little brother.

Interviewer: Do you ever fight when you play games together?

_____: Sometimes, and in that aspect, he reminds me of some of my friends I used to play games with a lot when I was first starting out. It was a lot of playful bickering, and that’s how it is with Jeongin sometimes. But it’s always fun playing together.

[what’s something the other does that you don’t like?]

[felix and _____ look at each other as they consider the question, but both of them just shrug at each other.]

Felix: Nothing, really.

Interviewer: Not any pet peeves?

Felix: [starting to chuckle] Okay, I actually have one that’s kinda weird…

_____: [looking somewhat scared] What is it…?

Felix: So…for context, one of our friends was saying how you know you love someone when you’ll fart in front–

[_____ starts loudly whining.]

Felix: [laughing] –of each other. And they refuse to fart in front of me! We’ll be hanging out on the couch or in my room together or something, and they’ll literally leave the room!

_____: Only if I think it’s gonna be smelly.

Felix: You can tell?

_____: Sometimes. Or if I know I can’t make it quiet.

Interviewer: Is there anything Felix does that you’re not super fond of?

_____: Um… Sometimes he looks at his members a certain way and I’m like, ‘...why aren’t you looking at me like that?’

[felix turns to look at _____ in confusion.]

_____: Don’t get me wrong, I don’t blame you! Y’all are handsome guys. But, like…c’mon, man.

Felix: …What are you talking about?

_____: [puts their hand on his shoulder] You know exactly what I’m talking about. I know how you look at Changbin.

[felix and _____ stare at each other in silence for a moment before felix suddenly looks at the camera with wide, knowing eyes.]

Felix: Ohhhh, yeah. Yeah, [laughs] I get it. I get what you mean.

_____: Look at me like that, Felix!

Felix: I do! I do. [turns back to _____] I swear I do.

_____: I don’t see the same panic in your eyes.

Felix: You want me to panic?

_____: Kinda.

[what’s something you especially love about each other?]

_____: Felix is always positive. I tend to get kinda pessimistic and, like, worry about things a lot. If I bring it up to Felix, he’s always looking at things from a good perspective or is always reassuring me that everything is okay.

Felix: I don’t think you’re pessimistic.

_____: I am when I’m stressed, which is usually. God, especially at the beginning of our relationship, or like, before we were even dating when people thought we were. [looks straight into camera with genuine worry] I was so convinced I was gonna get swatted. I was fully prepared to move my entire life to make sure it wouldn’t happen.

Felix: [reaches over to put his hand on their knee, rubbing it with his thumb] You do worry about a lot, but I wouldn’t say it’s pessimistic. It’s just anxiety. [shrugs]

Interviewer: So Felix, what do you like about _____?

Felix: I feel like I never get drained being around them. Like, you know how being social a lot makes you feel really tired? Being around _____ I feel like recharges me instead. They always just make me feel better by being around me, and they always make me laugh.

_____: See, that’s how I know I am pessimistic because my jokes are all dry and come from a place of trauma. [gives a very straight and boring smile right at the camera]

Felix: [chuckling] I’m begging you to just take the compliment.

_____: [shyly] Thanks, man.

Felix: [snorts] Yeah, sure thing, bro. No problem.

[_____ holds out their hand and they dab each other up.]

[the logo appears once again before cutting back to the couple sitting how they were at the beginning of the interview.]

Felix: Thank you so much to Gamerwoo for having us in the studio today to answer questions about us and our relationship. We had a lot of fun here today.

_____: If you want to learn more about us individually, you can see my boyfriend, Felix in the kpop boy group, Stray Kids. And if you’re interested in anything I’m doing, you can find me on most live streaming platforms at slrsatrn.

Felix: This has been…

Felix & _____: In Between: Felix and Saturn!

Felix: [waving with both hands] Byyyye, thank you!

_____: [doing a thumbs up at the camera] Adioso, friends!

[as the logo card appears on the screen again, felix and _____ can be heard laughing before they both say, ‘done!’ and laugh some more. The screen goes black and the recommended videos come up.]

«─── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ───»

perma tag list [italics are unable to tag]: @minluvly @awkwardnesshabitat @woozarts @septicrebel @4kwp @thepencilkorner @bubblelixie @byunhoebaek @dejavernon @ahandfulofkeys @slut-for-dabi @avyskai @pussymode @sunoosult @moonlightcandy00 @missrobyn81 @day6andetcetera @ritzy-roo @casualtaelyn @skizzel-reblogs @itbtoblikethatsometimes @crazyllamasurfer @wonderfulshinee @ladylexis @bangmechanpls @army-stay-noel @reiheis @pretty-npeach @icarusthorn @saythenameseventeen178 @stay-gray @olivehues-blog @ulavenger64king @lillijay @twistedsiren @svintsandghosts @stellarstacysstuff @xxluckydreamsxx @chartrucewhore @dwaekkiracha @ssstraykiss @lukeys-giggle @bobrouxsky @strayKidsFamily @vensweety @seoli-16 @smilefordongil @flirtyskzbutterfly @freckleboilix @immortal-imagination

[henosiis]

KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER .

REPOST DO NOT REBLOG !!

name: kat (if you remember me as ozzie you get a cookie. also how's it feel like to be old)

pronouns: i default to she/her but anything goes.

preference of communication: please just add me on discord if you have it lmao tumblr dms are a mess. im on discord about all the time i'm awake so it's truly the best way to reach me.

name of muse(s): oh boy here we go oswald of carim (confessthysiins) - nihlus kryik (spectrien) - queen annalise (corrunuptia) grigori (evigilar) alizebeth kenway (hawksblooded) israfel of aarein (ofaarein) uhhh did i forget anyone.

best experience: i've been in the community since 2014 as oswald of carim and I've seen some really incredible stuff throughout the years. but without a doubt, my best writing experience has been writing with lani @sunmad. it's thanks to her that my comeback in the last year was not only successful but also lead to some of my best writing ever. lani is not only a wonderful, thought-provoking writer but also an incredible friend and I'm so, so thankful we met and started plotting together. love u lani <3

rp pet peeves / dealbreakers: I know this is petty but over-formatted, over-graphicked posts are just impossible to read comfortably sometimes. I feel bad asking people to tone down their aesthetics for me, but it's like... it shouldn't take me five minutes to read a 200 word post bc im constantly getting lost in fancy editing. A genuine deal-breaker for me is when I don't feel like I can bring anything to the table in terms of dynamics, ships or otherwise. If you're essentially writing your own story and I'm just a side participant with basically no input, just following along with your pre-plotted thing, why am I here? Why make this rp? Just write a novel chief!

muse preferences: hot older men tbh. but also I find I'm very interested in characters who have very concrete goals that they are devoted to. Devotion & faith (religious or not), destiny, the struggles one has with those concepts.

plots or memes: i love memes for their spontaneity, but I find I do prefer having a baseline plot to work off of so I can know where I'm going with prompts and the like. Even if its just an outline of their dynamic, or a small timeline of events, I find I work best and find the most ideas when I'm not fully improvising. It can be fun though, I admit.

long or short replies: these days I struggle with very long replies (500+) and try to stick to ~300 words, which I think is my comfort zone. I can push more, and with some threads I do, but it asks a lot more out of me.

best time to write: Big fan of the Hemingway (write drunk, edit sober) but since that's not always an option I do like to write in the evenings, when I've had time to think and let ideas brew in my head. I sometimes start planning a reply when I wake up, and only write it in the wee hours of the night. The idea soup has to simmer for a while.

are you like your muse(s): TW EMOTIONAL VULNERABILITY this might sound a little insane but whatever. i was at a very difficult time in my life when i started writing ozzy; i was embittered, full of grudges, ruining friendships over petty things etc. Sure, I was a teenager and they're all lowkey crazy, but it was tough living with undiagnosed bipolar. Anyway, as I kept writing ozzy, putting myself in a mindset of forgiveness, of warmth, of being welcoming, i found it actually changed how i think in many ways. he made me a better person, in a way. i've become more patient, forgiving of mistakes, more open to people. and through the years I've found that people are very willing to talk to me, to be emotionally open, even people I just met or acquaintances. it's changed me and it's changed my life. So thank you, whoever drew Ozzy's concept art and got me obsessed with him in the first place. I owe you a 12 pack.

tagged by: stolen from the dash tagging: steal it from me! i know its not munday but fuck it. become ungovernable

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 7/11/23, timezone change edition

the last time i wrote one of these things, i was not quite fully packed up in ma. now, i am technically temporarily homeless in houston, bc the apartment i originally signed on was completely unlivable. crashing in an acquaintance's guest room for a bit while i have a very bad time with apartment hunting round 2

i have lived in south florida, staten island, and various shithole student housing. i understand seasonal bugs in hot places and things such as different kinds of roaches and palmetto bugs. when i say that apartment had the worst roach infestation i've ever seen i fucking mean it. in theory i will get my full deposits back, but they're taking their sweet fucking time about it.

but having that full yes-i-know-about-seasonal-roaches conversation with new acquaintances and leasing agents takes too long so i've resorted to saying it had a horrific bedbug problem, which everyone seems to go Oh Okay Yeah Reasonable For You To Leave much more quickly.

listening

a lot of early aughts dance pop standards, to chase away the agonies as i drive to and from apartments only to get ghosted, find they were rented a week ago, or find that they look absolutely nothing like the pictures. i was really torn on which britney song to pick for this week until my sister sent me Twin Flame by Maude Latour, which i can only describe as "douchebag get the girl back song but for lesbians". spotify

also how do we like the "featured link from bandcamp or soundcloud with additional spotify link" format? in an ideal world i would buy all my music directly from the artists but realistically i use spotify 90% of the time. i don't know what your life is like, tell me if this is helpful or not.

-

reading

my best friend made sad faces at me until i read The Flatshare by Beth O'Leary, and it was a little nice to see someone else's dire housing situation get resolved neatly and with thematic consistence in several hundred pages. it was also nice to text her snippets with "WHAT?????" every so often. this is a reading experience i don't have very often bc our current reading tastes don't overlap even a little bit.

i don't have much to say about it bc i didn't have particularly strong feelings and don't really read mainstream straight romance, so i can't point out what this did differently or well compared to its peers. if nothing else, it was a fluffy bit of distraction, and i think that's kind of the point?

(image from Tor) also read Saad Z. Hossein's Kundo Wakes Up novella in a waffle house while eating some of the best scrambled eggs i've ever had in my life.

this novella was the closest thing i've ever read to "aging English professor has an affair" without actually containing any of those elements. generally i enjoy his work, but this was sort of a way to check up and tie off many characters from previous works with a sort of light frosting of "my wife left me and i don't know why [ rot13:v pna znxr fbzr thrffrf ohg gurer vf ab zbzrag bs frys-ernyvmngvba, bapr ur svaqf uvf jvsr ur whfg perrcf ba ure sebz nsne naq nsgre qrgrezvavat fur'f abg jvgu nalbar arj znxrf gur gerzraqbhf fnpevsvpvny qrpvfvba gb yrnir ure nybar op fur'f zhpu unccvre jvgubhg uvz. gurer vf ab zbzrag bs frys-ernyvmngvba nobhg jul fur zvtug unir yrsg uvz. xhaqb arire trgf bhg bs uvf bja shpxvat urnq bapr.]"

while The Gurkha and the Lord of Thursday novella (TREMENDOUS) and Cyber Mage book (fun but with some dire pacing issues) are fairly standalone, i cannot imagine you'd get much out of Kundo Wakes Up if you haven't read the other two. for some reason none of the libraries i have access to have his other book Djinn City, so we'll have to procure that elsewhere.

-

watching

the dnd movie, the day after i broke my lease on the roach apartment. i don't remember a ton about this movie. do generally like a heist. michelle rodriguez was hot

-

playing

genshin. listen. it is a free and familiar way to turn my brain off by doing open world exploration and puzzles but CRUCIALLY! most of it is completely new to me. i have not played this game in a year and a half. i have not played this game since right before enkanomiya. there was no chasm. there was no Sumeru. i have absolutely no idea what’s happening lore-wise.

i pulled for the fancy ice claymore lady and got a catboy archer (at least i think it is a catboy? the ears do give a pharaoh hound vibe... he is distinct from the extant dogboy archer). not terrible but not my vibe.

i have been enjoying the shit out of the temporary summer event carnival space. they really did pull out several stops by introducing a ton of genuinely interesting and innovating little new mechanics and mini games. delightful!

-

making

altering the worst shorts ive ever seeeeeeeeen with a demure little two-inch side slit on both legs bc my thighs simply will not quit. mens shorts are so much better than womens shorts in nearly every way except for the catastrophic physical fit issues.

when i got ghosted by two different apartments on saturday i bought myself a spoon ring so chunky it makes my other chunky rings look positively delicate by comparison. not very comfy to drive in but fine to wear while tippy tappying on the spreadsheets

a girl i saw for one singular awful date in 2016 called my hands "coarse but honest" and i think about that every time my hands are in a photo. what did that even fucking MEAN, [REDACTED]?

[brb-on-a-quest]

University of Gallirey AU

(tagging @walkthruthewords 'cause you know what you did -sigh- that I've written 2k words instead of studying for my history test on Tuesday in one sitting and also @igotthisaccountunderduress bc dr who fanfic and you seemed interested the last time). Enjoy! Hopefully.

He swore he wasn't going to care. It was one assignment. It should not and did not require this much of him.

He pushed the ancient piece of technology that he'd carried around with him for the last century or so against the back shelf of the desk and turned to pace around the room. He'd forgotten he still had his Converse on, and they squeaked against the linoleum floor. He clenched his jaw as the noise grated his ears, chucking the ratty soles across the room.

It was then he realized that he cared very, very much about this assignment. Too much. If he didn’t ace it- The young time lord shuddered. That was a consequence he couldn’t bear to see the day of. He had to. No ifs, buts, or yets. 

The Doctor sat down on the chair, inching it close to the desk until the wood pressed against his chest- as if the tangible reminder would ground him to this assignment. Must keep typing, it doesn’t matter, you can’t edit a blank page-

He pulled the computer closer to him and stared at the almost empty page- he had written in the proper header. The Doctor. The Professor. The Class. The Date in the stupid lunarian formatting. Why does everything need some definite article when life is so- not. Somehow, the existence of the header mocked him and his frustration. He stood up and began his rounds around the small cubic space of a dorm. 

He began grumbling under his breath when someone opened the wooden door, prompting the student to swing around on his feet quickly.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you.” His roommate said in that calm, chirpy tone they had as their antennas twitched rapidly. “You good, mate?” His foreign alien exchange roommate had started adopting his slang, which felt very endearing coming from his chirped accent. 

“You could bloody well knock next time!” The Doctor hissed behind gritted teeth and then immediately melted into a puddle of emotions. “No, please, I’m sorry-”

“No pain taken.” The oversized grasshopper chirped as it pushed the door closed behind him with a leg. “Are you alright?”

“I just need to do one more assignment, and then I will be the happiest time lord alive.” The Doctor muttered. 

“I… do not believe you. You keep saying that and yet fail to follow through.” It removed his glasses from his comically large compound eyes, the pupils immediately contracting in size. “What assignment is it this time?” 

“A reflection. About something in the last century that I wish I could change about my life.”

“That’s it?” 

“What do you mean that’s it?” The Doctor was close to shouting. “Do you know how hard it is to just bare your soul to someone you only know on an acquaintance-basis? I’m not ready for this level of commitment.” 

His roommate put his glasses back on and started removing his shoes from all four of his feet. “Hm. Have you tried sleeping on it?” He paused, one shoe hanging off an appendage. “When is the last time you-” his roommate anxiously turned to untranslatable chittering. “-rested. Yes. Rested, that’s the word.”

The doctor stared down at the floor. Panic and guilt flooded his mind with strong sensations. He tried to count how many times he saw the suns of Gallifrey rise and fall. He tried to remember the last time he saw the orange suns. It was-too long. What did grass feel like? He couldn’t remember. He’d been alive for nearly five hundred years, but his mind had forgotten the touch of grass under his toes. Where are your bloody priorities, Doctor?

The small room felt like a prison, and he needed to run. Do anything but stare at another screen for a while. 

“Be right back.” 

“Answer the question first.” The roommate stood between him and the door. “I care about you and I have been in and out of the room for the past two months and I don’t think you’ve slept once. So, tell me, doctor, when did you rest?”

The Doctor thought back across his checklist. What had he done recently? The packet of physics that had taken a month, the navigation history exam, time stream engineering, Astrobiology and physiology-

“I know I took a nap after the ethics of temporal manipulation paper- everything’s blurry after that.” He admitted. 

His roommate, a constant fidgeter, completely shut down. There was no clicking of joints or the slight fluttering of wings, edging of mandibles. “Doctor. The paper you did last semester? Over a year ago? That’s when you slept?” 

The Doctor felt betrayed. Who was he to tell him what to do? He hadn’t eaten a vegetable and was constantly partying with other Gallifreyans. He had no right to be emotionally attacked. “What does it matter to you?” 

“Most humanoid species of your astro-classification would be dead by now.” His roommate shuddered. “Go to bed, Doc.”

“No. I have too much to do. I’m just going to take a walk, and I’ll be right as rain.” The doctor grinned.

“I don’t want trauma grades, Doctor.” His roommate backed up against the door. “Please sleep. You look like you're going to rob an interstellar money house with the dark circles around your eyes.”

“You mean bank.” The doctor filled in helpful as he stepped up on his toes to do a full body stretch. “I look like I’m going to rob a bank.” His shoulders felt so much achier as he turned around to look at his reflection in a mirror propped up against his closet door. He looked like an unrecognizable meat suit of skin and bones. “Huh. Interesting. Really.” The instinct was to yawn as his jaw hung down for a minute. Must fight it. Stupid reflection. 500 more words. 

“I mean for you to go to sleep.” The roommate chittered. 

“No. Let me just drink some of the Red Bull-”

“NO!” the grasshopper dove in front of their university cooling unit. “Doctor, Go. To. Bed.”

“Why should I?” The doctor frowned. “Last I checked, you weren’t either one of my parental figures.” 

“Doctor, what’s my name?” The grasshopper said. “What are you seeing right now?”

“There’s you. You’re. My roommate - You’re a-” He sighed, pressing his lips together thoughtfully. “A grasshopper. I’m sorry, I don’t remember the proper term, it’s on the tip of my tongue and your name is.” His mind raced through file cabinets of all the names that he heard the most often. They lived together. He had seen him everyday, how could The Doctor forget?

Something stung his cheek. A hand. Not an antenna.

“I’m not a stupid bug.” When he opened his eyes, his roommate had turned into a time lord size. Ah, yes. The Doctor and The Butler. His roommate had chosen The Butler. Just like he had chosen The Doctor. “You’re hallucinating. Go to bed right now, or I will call the wellness center for you.” 

“You’re angry with me.” The Doctor sniffed. 

“Listen, you are going to be emotional because you have not slept in Gallifrey knows how long. You can take a nap, and then you will be fine.”

The doctor leaned his head on the Butler’s shoulder. “I’m sorry- I- I didn’t know I was so tired.”

“It’s ok.” The Butler patted his head comfortingly. “C’mon. Do you need me to tuck you in?” 

“You’re so mean to me.” The Doctor half-grumbled, half-whined in a joking manner as he stumbled towards the bed. He didn’t know his muscles could be so stiff as he fell under the covers. 

“Shall I kiss you goodnight?” Was The Butler’s mocking response as he turned out the light and closed the door. “Goodnight, Doctor. If you are not asleep by the time you come back, I shall find it necessary to take alternative measures.” 

The Doctor just wished he had a little bit more time as he nestled underneath a blanket. Time. Timelord. Lord of time. 

He sat up in bed. “We have a Time Machine.” He quickly threw his legs over the sides of the bed and grabbed his shoes, his computer, and his lucky sonic screwdriver. He could escape out the window and then his roommate wouldn’t be concerned about him anymore. Besides, Time machines. He could spend as long as he wanted working on the stupid reflection and getting some zzz's and doing whatever before The Butler even decided to notice. 

Yes. Brilliant. Best plan of this century. He pushed up the window and didn’t even gawk at the drop. It’d be short enough. His bones were strong. He’d taken enough calcium-enriched food fairly recently. It still hurt when he hit the ground, though. 

Grass felt good. Air felt good. Sun felt-not as good. The Doctor blinked. No. Stop it. You’re getting distracted.

He ran towards the library, dodging through the crowd of people. “Sorry, pardon, sorry again, would you watch where you're going please?” The Doctor was panting as he reached the front desk. “I’d like to check out a TARDIS please.”

“What now?” The librarian, an older man, looked down at him with much concern written in his scrunched up nose. “Are you-”

“Please. I have an assignment. I just need more time.”

“So you want a spaceship.” 

“A TARDIS. Time and Relative Dimension In Space Ships, yes.” The Doctor explained. “Please-”

“Do you have your ID?”

The Doctor held out his wallet that contained his psychic papers, while willing every single thought to show his Gallifreyan issued ID. That had gone missing for some time, but he wasn’t willing to pay the couple of credits to get it replaced. 

“Ah, yes. You’ll need to leave your dorm key as collateral, you understand.” The librarian sighed while maybe muttering something about “kids these days” but that might have been something of an auditory hallucination. 

The Doctor reached into his pocket and handed the key over. “Thanks so much.” 

The Librarian handed him a different key. “That one goes to the blue one over there. She’s a bit stuck in her camouflage circuit right now, so keep that in mind when traveling in the time stream.” 

The Doctor nodded, snatching the keys with more force than intended. “Thanks a million, sir. You’re fantastic. Brilliant, even. Allons-y!” And the Doctor was running towards a large blue police box faster than he had been running to the library. 

It’s bigger on the inside. He thought with approval. That’s good. And it has a bean bag chair! Perfect place for a nap. 

He placed the keys into the TARDIS, and it roared to life and The Doctor cackled. “GENIUS!” He grinned from ear to ear. “All of Time and Space to find a place to do homework and take a nap.” 

Maybe nap first. He’d go to Earth, probably. The Police Box would look really inconspicuous there. Could nap for ages. Then he could go to the planet that was just one giant library and knock out that reflection paper. 

He made the mistake of sitting down in the beanbag chair, and the tired heaviness of exhaustion returned. The Butler was right. I need to curl up and not wake for a century or two. TARDIS? Wake me up when we reach something interesting. 

[electriczayre]

RAHHHHHHHH TAKE MY SWAP PPMV DESIGNS (sorry no una </3 she's bapy and i wanted to focus on the adults with the swaps)

(edit: tumblr why did u format the post that way. i didnt ask you to do that. anyway fixed it)

design notes under cut

Flower (Right as Rain):

• Based on Flower's v4 design, for no particular reason other than it seemed fitting

• Patches aren't really shown, but instead of the daisy(?) patch it's a black tulip!

• sports bra/crop top thing goin on bc slay

• shorts and boots largely the same as box flower

• bandana tied around right arm, and bandages on left (can be over or under the jacket sleeve ig since they're for aesthetic)

• fingerless gloves :]

• i wanted to give round goggles bc i thought it would fit Flower, almost going for a steampunk type thing with the round goggles

Flower (Sabotage)

• used v3 because her look RADIATES ghost energy. like look at her. absolute queen

• corset has a heart design in the middle <3

• choker connected to mesh shirt under the corset

• big jacket !!! like the original Sabotage

• her black skirt is plain like Better Off Worse v3's skirt but tbh it could work with box v3's skirt design too

• boots same as box

• not shown, but her "ghost color" is purple :>

Po-uta (Sabotage)

• due to being Dead tm, his hair is light on the top where his roots are! the bottom is dyed yellow

• he wears a golden heart locket necklace

• black turtleneck sweater bc. Po-uta and sweaters yk

• oversized cardigan instead of whatever typa jacket Sabotage Len has goin on bc it's more Po-uta-core

• tighter fitting pants than box Po-uta, but with the cool pockets still. shoes are mostly the same as box Po's

• his "ghost color" is either yellow (or possibly will change to a similar blue to Right as Rain Po's sweater - depending on if i can pull off a shade of yellow or not)

Po-uta (Better Off Worse)

• his roots have grown out real long bc of lack of management of his hair :(

• he wears a big comfy oversized sweater - probably jade green

• boxer shorts under the sweater

• he wears a triple necklack thingy thing

• his long socks are cat themed bc i think Po likes cute things

Len (Better Off Worse)

• his hair's a bit longer! also bc of lack of management

• his hair is also YELLOW bc he is alive ! though perhaps at the ends it's dyed teal

• he wears a sort of muscle tee with white stripes on the sides

• he gets arm warmers to represent whatever the heck those arm things are on box len. socks are also representative of the leg things

Len (Right as Rain)

• Easily the closest in energy to box Len out of the original Sabotage and my Better Off Worse design. Still the same age as Sabotage (which is to say, unspecified but a young adult)

• Hair tufts rounder, made to kinda look like feathers

• stubby ponytail = less hair to get in the way when flying

• bass cleff patch instead of daisy patch

• the jacket sleeves kinda puff out to mimic box len's armwear, and the patches are meant to look like the tech on them

• big socks with design meant to mimic box len's legwear with the tech

• shorts and shoes similar to box len

• yellow hair!!! and goggles similar to the original Right as Rain Po-uta

• teal turtleneck sweater

Extra Note: I wanted to keep some consistency across characters and roles!

• each Flower has a choker and boots

• each Po has a necklace and some sort of sweater

• each Len has armwear/legwear

• each Right as Rain has the goggles and jacket

• each Sabotage has a big jacket and flowy, open bottom of the design

• each Better Off Worse has the shorts and long socks

[osakafromazumangadaioh]

(This is a post I made on my cohost a lil while ago, I lightly edited it for clarity)

You've seen this post about Hidamari Sketch right? It's kind of famous, at least it is to me. If you can't click through to see the link text here it is.

Remember how Hidamari Sketch aired during the DTV transition, and SHAFT knew exactly what to do with the new real estate for the widescreen version?

This was a fact that bounces around in my brain like a DVD screensaver. Hidamari Sketch aired in Japan between January and March 2007 during the DTV transition and they prepared two versions for broadcast, one that was HD 16:9 and one that was SD 4:3. I've heard of things going wrong during this transition like the shot of Mugi getting cropped out in the 4:3 broadcast version of K-On but this time period isn't super well researched in the admittedly small digging I did.

So it makes sense that a studio during this time would make these changes right? Your show is going to appear in two very different formats, you're going to want to make sure it looks fine in both. Anyway I was reading the replies of this post one morning and I read one that gave me pause.

This started me researching the analog to digital transition in Japan which I won't get into here but long story short, yes it did air during the analog to digital transition. There was an analog digital simulcast of both signals in Japan that started in about 2003 and ended in 2012 when all analog transmissions were shut down. So there was a period where broadcasters were putting out both HD 16:9 and SD 4:3 to serve people/areas who had not made the jump to the digital signal.

But it got me thinking, some people in the replies were talking about not being able to find proof that it aired in 4:3. Chances are they just didn't know where to look. Anyway I just looked on nyaa and lo and behold.

So I had the original broadcast versions of season 1 and 2 in 4:3. (i was unsure what the second torrent would be, it didn't have any information in the description and "TV broadcast" could have been the 16:9 broadcast bc there was a simulcast but it was the 4:3 version).

Anyway I was curious if there were any other changes, I kind of doubted that there were since it's already a lot of effort to produce two different versions of scenes but maybe there was something that the person that put together the original comparison missed.

If you, like me, believed the truth of that original post I'm about to tell you Santa Claus is not real. I compared these with the BD and found 2 of the frames from the original post. (the other I presume is from the first episode of season one also). And, they're,,, cropped from the 16:9 version.

In hindsight this makes perfect sense, I know sometimes they will redraw or reanimate certain scenes for the blurays because production is sometimes very fucked and they don't have the time to make things to their usual standards but if you're working for TV schedules why would you give yourself more work to do?

I'm sorry im sure this is interesting only to me but "Shaft redrew the wide character shots for HD during the DTV transition" is something that had the same veracity in my brain as, water is wet and i thought about it about as often. Two things make this very funny.

The image is cropped from what I assume is the original which makes it more obvious that it was a joke.*

the person that made that edit (presumably on 2ch or a/ on 4ch) didn't like, make the entire image 4:3 they popped the background out so it wouldn't appear squished. Which is such an insane effort post that you still see people go, oh yeah no it has to be real no one would go to the effort to do that. (read this post, people go to insane lengths for zero reward all the time)

I cooked up a very quick comparison in photopea to show what I mean. At this point it's trivial to remake the background, it's just a repeating pattern anyway.

*I would love to tell which is older but google recently changed how reverse image search works and it doesn't show you pages with the list of dates of when that page was last crawled so it's a little hard to figure out and I don't want to spend a bunch of time figuring out an alternative. So whoever cropped out the obvious joke part is one of histories greatest pranksters in the relatively small pond of people that give a shit about slice of life anime. tl/dr two people, the person that made the original image and the person that cropped off the obvious joke part have combined their efforts to fully prank me 10 years later and I don't think anyone else I've told about this has felt owned or surprised to the same extent as me so I feel like histories greatest fool here

[wolfchans]

hello! i do not know how to ask this properly which is why google is not helping but do u have any ideas on why some youtube videos i download to gif (from a software that perfectly downloads other files normally) open up completely blank? first time it happened i looked it up and read through until i realised the file i must've been corrupted, which i then wrote it off as one-off thing. but it has happened again, and ive noticed its from performance videos downloaded from official channels. sorry for the long ask i just wanted to ask if you know!! any alternatives to things like this or what can i do to get those videos? thank you anyways!!

Hi! If its performance videos I'm assuming you're getting fancams and like the bigger ones in 4k quality and stuff right? Formatting for that is usually in mkv or WebM and while I'm sure a lot of players can read them there's a few that don't.

Does this happen in other players too? If it does then it's probably a problem with the files you're downloading, I use a not very beginner friendly method to download my stuff but a program that I used to use and I trust a lot is 4kdownloader! If you want to try my download method I'll reblog the post I made on my main about it after this ask so you can check it out too

Let me know if changing players work?

Also if your computer is a little old and isn't equipped to do editing work on the regular some basic graphics cards can't handle 4k playing and will give you blank videos (my old computer did this and it was bc of the graphics card) if the problem is also with 1080p stuff I'm no sure what would be causing this

[deadchovsky]

Ok nvm more yapping under the cut. Tumblr is my diary and baby, I'm writing in pink glitter gel. Ignore this <3

I'm formatting this like greentext bc its funny

Big Font.

😨

Ddo you like Wilbur soot. Cuz I do

Anyways:

>be me on NYE

>one of my friends asked me to take a picture out of this end of year video thing I post on my 15 subs youtube channel every year at the end of the year.

> he says because his phone screen is visible and hes worried about what's on it. Says it might be some rp server he was on at the time the picture was taken and thinks it could he embarrassing. (This is important remember this.)

>I zoom in on the picture, it literally looks like a black screen.

> he says hes still worried about someone seeing it

>okay whatever. I try my best to remove this picture that last for like 2 seconds out of a 15 minute long video. (Sidebar, this picture was already in a different video months ago and he was fine w it then and literally has never brought up removing it from that video once.)

> I save changes to the video

> "okay I think I got it, but there might be like .5 seconds of it still, bc YouTube's editing thing sucks"

> he says its fine, because it's a 15 minute long video and the longest that clip is in there for is like. A singular second.

> 2 months later

> be me

> this mf hasnt talked to me, or basically any of my friends since new years.

> guy literally dropped out of the play despite wanting to be in it since September

>guy is literally in all 4 of my classes and hasnt attended a single one since the second day of the semester.

>I'm walking around the school bc the gender neutral bathrooms are closed, so I'm going to the least scary girls bathrooms near the front of the school.

> guy and one of my friends show up and stop me in the hallway.

> friend: "hey guy needs to talk to you."

> me: "bro I have to piss rn can it wait"

> apparently not.

> Guy: "I know you don't understand why I feel this way" (most condescending tone possible)

> turns out changes didnt save in YouTube video and the picture is still in the video for literally 0.003% of the entire runtime.

> tells me to remove it because he thinks that he was "texting his mom about his attempt at the time"

> picture was taken a month before the attempt. also he told me it was the rp server the first time I tried to remove it.

> ok whatever. I say I'll remove the picture.

> interaction is very awkward(mind you we're standing in the middle of a high school hallway while hes telling me all this) I leave and go piss

> I go back to class after pissing

>friend (who was with guy) says that was the first time guys talked to her in a few weeks.

>I show her the picture on my phone, bc I feel like I'm going crazy. The phone literally only looks turned on bc you can see a slightly outline of a white keyboard. Not to mention the photo is BLURRY.

>friend confirms that you can't see fucking shit on the phone in the picture.

>thank god because I thought I was somehow wrong for thinking you cant see shit

Also, bro saw that video that the picture was in once, freaked out bc he thought you could see his rp server in it, then tried to tell me TWO MONTHS LATER (and almost 10 months AFTER the picture was taken and posted in a different video THAT HE SAW) that he was talking to his mom about a suicide attempt in there. I didnt even remember about that bro how tf did he manage to keep that in his brain for two fucking months. Get different meds you fucking dweeb like oh my god. Clearly whatever you're on now isnt working.

[rollforjackass]

i'm gonna go ahead and answer all the questions from this fic writer ask game here, because. why not! i'm bored and i'm not used to talking about my own writing. gotta cut the cord on that shame game sometime.

(and if y'all wanna answer some yourself, the post is linked above! absolute guarantee i will send some if you do bc i'm nosy like that)

💘 - Is there any posted fic you want to rework/re-edit/re-write?

oh god yes, a lot of them. i've got chronic perfectionism.

if i were to be kind to myself and narrow it down to one, my poor little Person of Interest fic deadman's switch was my first venture into the fandom i would come to adore, and it could definitely do with some tuning up. with a few rare exceptions, i've never liked post-episode fics that just recap the events of the episode with a few extra sentences of meta thrown in the mix, and unfortunately, i think that's exactly what i did with this fic. i don't think it deserves a complete do-over, but a re-work with a new direction and a concrete destination would do it good.

💫 - what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

any and every, but the ones where people share their favorite quotes and tell me what it made them think of and expound on their personal theories and thoughts, AGH!!!! i adore those!!!! go off about all the things you love about the characters and your scenarios for missing scenes, i promise you i am enjoying it immensely!!!!!

🌈 - is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

i mean, by default i feel like i'm a bit of a tryhard with my writing and i feel like that's fairly obvious a lot of the time (for better or for worse 😬). but i guess the one that's outwardly the most relaxed bit of writing and was actually really difficult was the burning question, because. how the hell am i supposed to translate a groupchat format into a fic and keep all the nuances of technology, i.e. nickname changes & people sending walls of text, that are meant to be funny??????

it took me Forever to settle on formatting that i felt maintained the spirit of the jokes, and there's so many folks that think groupchat fics are cringe that i don't think anyone would consider how much effort i had to put into it for a now quite outdated joke lmao. i love groupchat fics myself, though, so i am content with the cringe.

🦋 - what are you most insecure about when you post a fic?

always always ALWAYS characterization. i have the fandom attention span of a mayfly and the combination pizza hut/taco bell that is ADHD/autism to boot, so i pick up strong attachments to characters/media quickly and write my feelings almost as fast as i feel them. which means lots of one-offs that are barely two seasons into a series/one movie into a trilogy. i'm always worried that i'm missing the mark by a mile because i was too impatient to reach a Big Backstory Reveal, or that i've latched onto a single trait not indicative of the whole.

🌻 - what makes you want to give up on writing? what makes you keep going?

what makes me want to give up: the Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known. i used to be super confident in putting myself out there, but i haven't always had support for my special interests and i've rarely had anyone willing to read my writing when asked. makes it hard to enjoy what i'm doing when i've got that annoying little earworm asking me what people would think if they ever eventually read it, even when it's a self-indulgent little thing that i don't plan on posting.

what makes me keep going: i love writing, plain and simple. i love to borrow people's habits, their thoughts, their dreams and hopes and fears and nightmares; i love to see the world from new perspectives. and the idea that what i have to say might connect with people, that people might recognize parts of the characters and stories that they care for in my writing, is pretty damn intoxicating, too.

🌿 - how does creating make you feel?

there's a book series i loved as a kid called The Secrets of Droon, which is about three kids who discover a staircase to another world in their basement, and writing has always felt like that to me. i open the door, and i am somewhere else. these other worlds don't need me to be there for events to unfold, but i can still try to change the things that i don't like if i wanted to. and nobody needs to know that i've been to these worlds, but if i mentioned 'hey i've been to another world', someone somewhere might be interested in what i saw.

idk if that makes sense shdjk but i just!! i like writing. i like seeing what would happen if i changed something. and it feels amazing when something i care about deeply connects with people i don't even know, and who don't know me. it's scary to venture into other worlds, but there's always the chance of finding yourself - and finding new friends - down that magic staircase!!

🍉 - in what ways has writing helped you process trauma and/or navigate through your own life?

whoof, i mean. how hasn't it.

i had a very difficult upbringing that left me absurdly angry with the world and only able to conceive of living as fighting for survival. i wrote stories where i could escape and be free, and i wrote stories where the fight was all there was so i could feel less alone. hell, my first favorite character on tumblr was gabriel from supernatural, running away from his family and still loving them even when it hurt, and writing stories where he was happy or angry or sad felt like validating those feelings in myself. i could fix his problems, even if mine weren't that easy.

these days i struggle with a lot that's out of my control, like PTSD with a very hard-to-avoid trigger. but writing is something that i can curate, that i can tailor to a situation. it's completely in my hands. so when i'm going through something, i can always pick up a pen and scribble out the strong feelings in a way that makes sense to me, if not to anyone else, and then i can close that book or tear the page out or burn it, whatever i want to do with it. i can shuffle through the life of a fictional character and find the times when they felt the way i did, and wonder how they got through it, and sometimes in doing so, i find ways that i can, too.

it certainly helps that i've found myself a good number of favorite characters who go through a lot but still remain hopeful. ones who make a place for themselves in the world that is safe and good, who manage to find the best in people even when being shown their worse.

🎀 - give yourself a compliment about your own writing

i like that i'm willing to try my hand at pretty much anything and give it every ounce of passion i've got, no matter how short a time i may have been in a fandom or how different a character might be from the ones i'm used to writing. tech geek with conflicting superiority/inferiority complexes? sure thing. prim and proper angel who's secretly a bitch? give it a whirl. chain-smoking self-sabotaging magician who's a time capsule of the 80s? devoted dad with apeshit anxiety? codependent gay cannibals? fuck it, we ball.

🎈 - describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change?

mmmm depends on how you define style. i want to say that it's generally all the same, but i do think i change tone A Lot, based on who i'm writing about. partially because i bounce between a lot of british and american shows and i tend to try to adopt the vernacular of the culture the media is based in to make the story more immersive, but also based on the tone and overall themes of the piece, i.e. who's hurt and who's comforting and what their relationship looks like, if one's more comedic or they both are or neither of them are.

i'm a bit of a metaphor & simile hound, for sure, that part's pretty fixed. i tend to like comparing simple things to grandiose ones, if only because i write 90% hurt/comfort and the things i always remember most about times when i've been hurting are the gestures that the comforter doesn't even remember making later on. i think i have consistent struggles in certain areas and consistent strengths in others. but i almost never want the version of me who wrote for, say, Good Omens, writing for Mission Impossible, because to me those are two wildly different atmospheres with wildly different stakes and baseline truths. if that makes sense? so i do try to switch up my style when i feel like it's appropriate.

🎉 - how often do you celebrate completing & posting a work? how often do you give yourself the credit/validation that you seek from others when you post? (if you don't, you should!)

i don't think i celebrate much at all, per se. it's always more of a relief that i've gotten all of the most pressing ideas out of my head for the moment than it is an accomplishment, i guess? i'll probably start trying to celebrate now, though.

as for credit/validation, i don't really know how to measure that. i'm able to acknowledge that i've sent something out into the world to bear scrutiny, and i'm usually able to like what i've written once it's out there, so i guess i give myself credit that way??

💞 - what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

characters. always the characters. sometimes to the detriment of the rest of the story.

idk, i tend to start stories because something about a character's reactions/choices grabbed my attention, and flesh out a scenario around how those reactions/choices would be seen by others vs how the character would see it themselves, so the character is always at the heart of my storytelling. i'm always thinking about the faces we put on for different people vs the ones we wear when we're alone. i usually find that as long as i follow a character's patterns of behavior, priorities, and methods of self-expression, the story writes itself.

💝 - what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

i don't really have expectations when i post, but the outpouring of love i received for Red Witness was definitely a shocker!! i mean, i'd never even heard of The Mentalist while it was airing from 2008-2015, so i was definitely a latecomer to the fandom, but apparently a lot of folks either rewatched it when the pandemic started or remembered it fondly enough to be excited about me writing for it, so that was a lovely surprise!!

🤍 - what's one fic of yours you think people didn't "get"?

i mean, one of the things i love about writing for fandom is all the variation in opinions and the different takes on what parts of canon are rock-solid vs which should be different, so i don't think it's possible for people to not "get" a fic. it's just one lens through which a set of events and people can be viewed.

that said, i suppose waiting for the hammer to fall didn't land the way i'd hoped it would, as far as my investment in the ideas i was trying to convey vs audience engagement goes, but i can definitely see why it wasn't "gotten". i spent a lot more time trying to mimic the style and feel of Good Omens and relying on that style to convey my ideas for me than i did figuring out how to explain what, exactly, those ideas were.

my intention was to explore "how does someone as buttoned-up as aziraphale, who has lived millennia in peaceful denial, come to terms with an impending confrontation that he absolutely can't avoid or weasel out of?", and that's still something that is very enticing to me, but the fact that he had been in denial his whole existence wasn't something that aziraphale would have been able to recognize on his own. so the execution fell far short of the mark, and i ended up with a few snippets of passable wit and imitative texture that couldn't have connected with a reader even with an operator on the line.

so, as far as the message of the fic goes, i suppose people didn't "get" that one, but it takes reliable postage to deliver a message and i left off all the stamps. (do we think there's been enough methods-of-communication metaphors for one day? everyone's knees sufficiently slapped?)

🕯️ - was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn't think it would take you?

come together (over me) was a BRUTAL undertaking for a number of reasons, which is also why it hasn't been updated in two fucking years, for all my vain intent to finish it.

not only was it my first ever attempt at a multi-chapter fic, but it was also a long and involved discussion of the many different ways that grief can affect people that i started writing less than a year after losing a friend of mine to a tragic accident (which was also the way the mighty nein lost mollymauk). i started writing it in the first place in an attempt to comfort my partner at the time, for whom molly was an all-time favorite, so i was pushing myself obsessively to meet the perfect balance of canon-accurate and partner-approved characterizations, and giving myself a lot of grief about it.

at the same time, the outpouring of shock and despair from the Critical Role fandom was like nothing i had ever experienced before. this was the first PC death of their 2nd campaign, under circumstances that meant it would be a permanent one, and on top of that, mollymauk was - at the time - the only openly queer character in the party. people had become understandably attached.

unfortunately, though, IMO, this meant a large portion of the fandom deified him to unrecognizable extremes. to a lot of new enthusiasts, he became a saintly sacrificial lamb unjustly slaughtered, or worse, "bury your gays" in action (it was a random encounter at a time when the party cleric was away giving birth. just saying). people who disagreed or people who didn't like him all that much were met with outrage. wars of righteous indignation were waged. lines in the sand were drawn. it was a mess.

all this to say, a fledgling fan trying to be as canon-accurate as possible in my characterizations of people who'd known mollymauk, and of mollymauk himself, for this fic centered around what was now the most controversial fandom event i'd ever seen firsthand, had a higher-than-usual chance of getting me absolutely obliterated on the internet. the horror.

so overall, while i did get a lovely response from what i did end up posting, the circumstances of writing it were unexpectedly exhausting. i had a lot of great ideas, still have a solid outline for the rest of it, and i like what i managed to get done, but just thinking about continuing it (especially so long after it was relevant and after so much has been revealed in canon since) is. haunting

💥 - find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

oh Time Doesn't Stop. (but it should), we're really in it now.

my dear, sweet, first ever foray into posting on ao3, i'm still quite proud of you. it's one of the few times i've felt like i could say more with absence than with explanation. it's a time capsule of confidence in myself and in my skills, and i think i did a pretty good job depicting the ways that constantine both self-destructs and lashes out when faced with a situation that he can't worm his way out of. i like the fact that i let each section in the 5+1 format have room to breathe, rather than trying to blend them together into a seamless narrative; it feels more authentic to me, like time has actually been passing.

🍭 - why did you start writing?

re: writing in general, i genuinely can't remember. i've been writing stories since i was old enough to read them. maybe i've always wanted to create something that thinks the same way i do?

re: fanfiction, because i was an insatiable bookworm as a kid and there were never enough stories about the characters and settings i loved to satisfy me, so i decided to start making them up myself. it ain't a party until obi-wan kenobi is helping a larvitar set up a picnic for every legendary pokemon plus dustfinger from Inkheart.

💎 - why is writing important to you?

i don't really have a good answer for this, because i can't think of a reason it wouldn't be, honestly. i guess the closest thing would be: it's important because i've never been good at speaking my thoughts and feelings out loud, but on paper i can say exactly what i mean and have a better chance of being understood. no need for facial expressions that might be misconstrued, no way for anyone to misread my tone of voice, just uncomplicated self-expression.

it also means that i get to share my passions with folks who are just as passionate as i am, and that i have a less awkward social avenue for expressing my appreciation of their candor. integrating and crediting headcanons you adored into your personal interpretation of canon, writing something inspired by a one-off post because it made you feel something...there can be such confounding social rules around complimenting people when you do it verbally or in person, it's nice to be able to say "thank you for caring as much as you do!" by just. applying your craft.

📡 - why is writing and sharing your writing important for fandom?

because of what i said for the last question, it's all a way of sharing how you feel!!! people write because they feel strongly about a subject, whether they love canon or despise it, whether they want to refute a popular characterization they disagree with or expand on an AU that's been making the rounds. not to quote spongebob, but there's love in every stitch, whether you love the way you think about a character/a story or you love the way somebody else does.

it's also a way of preserving fandom over time, as well as the present moment! fan fiction started because of Star Trek fans in the 70s and they're still making trek shows today, the critical receptions of which are strongly influenced by fan interpretations so time-honored as to become gospel!! (snw you know what you did.) writing fics and sharing them with each other is a tradition of story-telling that will outlast us by centuries, and it is damned wonderful to know that what we leave behind are affirmations of love and dedication.

🪄 - what is your post-writing/sharing aftercare? How do you take care of yourself or celebrate yourself when you've finished a fic?

my aftercare is closing out the tab and running away from my computer sdhjk. i'm always very anxious about posting my work, and that's before sharing links or putting it anywhere else, so i usually post any writing i've gotten done right before i go to bed, and then in the morning i can read it with fresh eyes and a calmer brain and pat myself on the back for getting it done. that's a celebration in its way. other than that, drinking water is probably what i do the most after completing something.

🎙️ - which one of your fics would you like someone to make a pod-fic of?

actually, somebody already MADE a podfic of my groupchat fic the burning question, which would have been my answer!!!! the wonderful frecklebomb absolutely made my life when they put that together with their friends, i've never felt anything less than absolute joy remembering it.

🤲 - what do YOU get out of writing?

catharsis, baby! i write a lot of hurt/comfort to fill in gaps that i find myself thinking about between episodes/movies/chapters, and it often ends up being very therapeutic. i get the double pleasure of comforting someone and imagining being comforted, with the cherry on top that is narrative completion (at least by my standards).

💋 - when you leave comments on a fic, do you want to hear back from the writer?

i wouldn't call it a priority when i'm leaving those comments, but it's always lovely when they do reply. i'm a collector of joy, knowing with certainty that i've "repaid" someone for their labor of love is never a bad thing, but i definitely don't expect or seek it. hoard all those compliments for a rainy day, y'all deserve them!!

☯️ - how do you think engaging with each other through tumblr, twitter, comments, kudos, creates healthy fandom experiences? How do you deal with that if you're not a social person/experience social anxiety?

"healthy" really comes down to your point of view in fandom, but i do think that multi-platform engagement for fic authors lets you exercise a level of boundary-setting on social media relationships that the rise of tiktok has sort of blown out of the water.

i'm very tired so i'm not sure i could explain my thought process properly if i tried, but basically, going from an author's works on ao3 to their tumblr/twitter often feels like a delightful sneak peek into the mind behind the magic, while going from an author's tumblr/twitter to their works on ao3 can be like walking into a neighbor's studio and realizing they're michelangelo reincarnated. either way, multi-form engagement makes you value them as a person as much as you value the fruits of their labors.

on a less labyrinthine note, getting a message or comment from someone who read your stuff and loved it can be really comforting! someone who liked your work is among the followers who see your fandom theories and wildly thirsty tags. no matter how self-conscious you may get about Being Perceived, you now have at least one person who liked what they perceived.

that's what comforts me, anyway, as someone who is frequently anxious about making bad impressions and bothering people. it also encourages me to send off that complimentary message i've been thinking about sending for ages, even if i only do it anonymously. if i think i would appreciate getting a message like that, then it's worth doing.

🧿 - what steps do you take to not take things personally if a fic doesn't do well, or if your writing/posting/sharing experience isn't going how you'd like it to?

i really can't stress enough how much i write and post for myself more than for a potential audience. i tell the story that i want to read, not the one i've seen people wishing for. if the two end up being one and the same, that's the best feeling in the world, but it's not the motivating factor behind me writing/posting/sharing.

sometimes i do get less engagement on a fic than i thought i might and it makes me worry that i misread a character, or i write something that i find really funny that never gets commented on, but then i have to remind myself that i only post in the first place when i like it enough to post. if it's up, i've decided i liked it. i didn't decide it was perfect, and i didn't mind-read the fandom to figure out what they're looking for in a fic, and i don't need to as long as it's good enough for me. that's really the only step i take, i guess.

💌 - share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

rubbing my grubby little paws together because OH BOY, i have a Mission Impossible benji & ilsa hurt/comfort dawning-friendship fic coming down the pipes that is very soft and sweet to me, and involves benji braiding ilsa's hair because she's failed miserably at doing it on her own and she's never had anyone to do it for her. it's my sweet angel baby right now, at least until good omens comes out in 24 hours and my synapses misfire to permanently sear the word 'GAY' behind my eyes.

[meowsticmarvels]

hello mcsm community. this is a repost of a long ass twitter thread i made so i apologize in advance if its formatted weird (and sort of disorganized). but heres some of my Thoughts and analysis on radar. i have much more to say than just this of course but HERE WE GO! radar insaneposting tumblr edition. long post incoming (i worked very hard on this)

ANYWAYS!

- he idolizes the new order and puts them on a pedestal above himself a bit. i mean from some dialogue it's clear he doesn't have the highest opinion of himself but he treats the new order smiliarly to how they felt about the old order in thw wither storm arc

- i have mentioned this several times but the "prison radar" thing definitely comes across to me as him trying to overcompensate (and mimic those he sees as "strong" like petra and jack) sort of. like if you contextualise it with how a lot of the characters called him weak an episode prior and it definitely seemed to have an impact on him its like. yeah. especially being thrown into a situation like w/ the sunshine institute and the whole iron breathtaker thing that has Got to fuck you up. idk i jusy see a lot of people take that at face value like "oh look he's being silly" when it comes across to me as more like insecurity ig?

- hes so autism its unreal

but yeah the whole thing kinda fucks him up

ig the only thing thay kinda bothers me is that arc doesnt feel finished. and also jesse can ENCOURAGW him to act like someone hes not??? OH AND. id like to point out this thing also involves him trying to break his own strict patterns which is p interesting to me. by this i mean the "disregard my bedtime! break whatever rules I feel like! within reason!" he seems to feel that in order to become stronf he has to be like. less caring of the rules w/e but the "within reason" line and the fact that he dislikes things being disorganized still is like. he doesnt Want to act like this. he doesnt seem to like thag but he feels iys the only way he can be strong and adapt to such a lifethreatening situation (to act like someone he clearly isnt)

another point id like to make is his relationship with Stella. it isnt really explored past this one scene in episode 2 of s2 but god there's a lot to unpack here

"you'll never change" - has stella... always been like this?  even when radar worked under her (which HAS to be at least a year before s2 bc apparently he's been working for jesse for about a year)

 also she calls him a "quitter" which. 1. has a negative connotation meaning that she Does Not Approve of him leaving 2. implies he quit of his own accord. this isn't normal former boss/former employee interaction though something definitely happened. like theyre both Weirdly Hostile and this is never brought up again....... ehat happened.

also "he doesn't even know how to use a sword" this part stuck out to me but Considering this thing i noticed a few months ago about how the mcsm world is very. survival oriented and people who can slay powerful monsters (i.e. old order) are looked at with high respect. so basically she's calling him weak here which is. Huh. also "you don't know anything" girl what happened.... why does radar feel he has to prove himself like that...

"id be careful about counting on him for anything" what did she mean by this. did radar fuck up in some way unintentionally and it pissed stella off or something??? because something clearly happened and im very sad this is never explored further bc this is a fucking interesting plot point.

also. the last image...... this is so fucking interesting regarding radar as a character because it does actually provide context for the whole prison radar thing. like holy shit this says a lot. the first line kinda shows his insecurity already. he's aware people don't believe in him and think he's weak and a coward, but he's going to try anyway. he feels he has to prove himself kinda.. like "you'll see! i can do it watch!" and considering his behavior in this episode it shows. he's overcompensating for that fear and trying to prove that he can be enough to make a difference. especially shown by how he reacts when "Vos" tells him he's not up for the task. he's trying, it isn't enough, so he decides to mimic his heroes and pretend to be someone he isn't (which... unfortunately half the cast doesn't take seriously)

the second line proves my points more. "im not the person she thinks i am anymore" raises a lot of questions on what happened ofc but there's also the "I can be different. Braver. If that's what the situation requires... I'll do it." and guess what! he *does* do that! a combination of pressure from people telling him that he can't do it and he'd just get hurt in the process and is too weak and cowardly to really do much + the stress of the situations he's thrust into seems to sort of catalyze his decision to put on the "prison radar" persona and pretend to mimic his heroes and act strong to not only make a difference and mean something but also to survive The Horrors . but he doesn't want to do this, that isn't who he is as a person, moreso what he feels he has to do. also thinking of pne line where he says something abojt the "incredible misery in the world crushing down on you". like this is a random throwaway line?? clearly the entire situation of s2 is Getting to him but he never really gets to Express that

now ofc like i mentioned this arc is in no way perfect. it's fucking interesting but it feels unresolved and forgotten by episode 5 along with the other characters completely ignoring the fact that that isn't who he is along with jesse even praising that in some dialogue options. like the writing of this kinda confuses me because everything radar says and feels up to that point implies that it's a façade built to be what others want him to be and as a stress response but some later things kinda treat the way he acts as a Good Thing and like ???? like i get it if they wanted to do the "being more courageous" arc sure. fine. but this doesn't seem like it was simply written as that. he does Not usually act like how he does during the "prison radar" thing and its just never addressed. which fucks me up bc this is personally one of my favorite character arcs of mcsm due to how complicated and insane it is + hes one of my favorite characters ever and i relate to his issues a lot but instead thw writings kinda ????? but yeah. its always bothered me really but to be Fair mcsm was hit by a lot of budget cuts that affected the plot like dont even get me started on the scrapped assistant to the warden who sesms to be meant to be the antithesis to radar kind of... and im p sure some episodes had different writers. so yeah this sucks but it isnt gonna piss me off that bad I just wish his arc was handled a bit differently. might potentially write something or w/e about this but anyways if you read this entire thread 1. you're insane 2. we do a little trolling. follow me mcsm truthers

original tweet thread here: https://twitter.com/rival_trevor/status/1659130820999753730?s=20

[golbrocklovely]

Sam and Colby going to Jake’s party made me think that maybe when things got bad between them , it was more Snc and Corey being on worse terms and having some fight and Jake just sticking to Corey , because he was always closer to him? Idk. Because Snc are bad at cutting bad people out from their life, but I doubt that they would forgive Jake if he would really did something really really bad for them. Even Colby wouldn’t I think … idk… just thinking.

Bit honestly I hope they will never reunite with Corey and for fuck sake i beg you never Elton. I can tolerate Jake… but not those two

i always believed that whatever happened between snc and jake was just petty, dumb shit and that nothing truly serious happened. but i figured whatever did happen caused them to need a break from one another.

this is my guess about all of it (so obviously take it with a grain of salt):

i think when jake and corey moved in with snc, they thought things would be like it was in the old trap house. however, snc weren't gonna let them go buckwild crazy bc now this was a house that they owned, not rented. i think once snc went from roommates to landlords (in a way), that started the riff in the friendship. we also gotta remember that it wasn't just them splitting off, jake/corey and snc, it was also the entire friendgroup. slowly but surely, everyone stopped being friends for some reason. my personal guess is that once snc stopped making the content they used to make ie the paranormal content with jake and corey, mix that with the pandemic and not seeing one another, i think that caused everyone to reevaluate their friendships. mike had his issues with some of the friends, kevin ventured off too, aryia moved, most moved onto knj's friendgroup, ect ect.

and you could tell things were changing or had changed. by kat's bday of 2020, not everyone was showing up. and then definitely by sam's, no one came over. i also believe that snc changing up their content made some of their friends jump ship. i think some of their friends didn't believe that snc would be succeeding if they changed their format, and if snc don't succeed, neither do their friends since so many of them at the time relied on snc's clout.

by 2021, things changed a lot. i think by that point, jake had alluded to wanting to move out and have his own place so that he could be loud and obnoxious without it being an issue (which is what seemed to be a problem in the house for some reason that he never explained). so he moved out. and then corey followed suit not long after that.

now with corey, i think he had plans to move out eventually, but i think snc not doing paranormal content and moving on to other things pushed his hand. corey barely made his own content around this time. realistically, he relied on snc and their constant posting to give him any attention since he couldn't keep up or bother to post his own content often enough. and once snc stopped doing haunted stuff, i think corey knew he had to jump ship and find someone else to lean on. and that's where elton comes in at.

ppl forget that there was a period of time that elton didn't want to do tfil. back in late 2018/early 2019, he stopped tfil. he literally ended it and said that he wanted to make documentaries. he made one or two and no one cared about them, which is why he came back out with tfil and did those trips with snc, corey, and andrea. elton lost the love he had for his own brand and only brought it back bc he had no other options.

elton had done paranormal stuff before on his other, personal channel (which is now the overnight channel). granted, a lot of them were faked or had edits in them to make the content more interesting, but he did do that stuff prior to snc doing it. while elton moved onto paranormal stuff, snc switched to 25x25, which elton saw as a copycat to tfil - even tho it never was.

corey had to move on with elton, not only bc from he said he wanted to make music and get back into dancing (which… how's that going for you) but bc elton was doing the one thing that brought corey attention: paranormal content. ppl knew corey for the paranormal content he made with snc, so jumping onto someone else's brand that was paranormal related worked for him.

and things only escalated once snc went back to paranormal investigating when 25x25 didn't work out like they hoped.

i think jake and corey were very close since they became friends, and it only made sense that once they moved out and kinda pretended snc didn't exist (for one reason or another) to rely on each other. but again, i don't think jake ever really had a deep issue with snc. maybe in the beginning when he first moved out, but i say after a couple months he probably was fine with them again. plus, friendships go thru ebbs and flows all the time.

as for corey and snc….. that friendship will probably never be fully mended. i think corey only sided with elton in the beginning bc he had to. but by this point, i think he's equally lost in the sauce as much as elton. they both love to think that snc stole ideas from tfil/elton when that just didn't happen. and now they're in a race with snc when they aren't even in the same game as them lol

i don't see elton or corey ever really being friends with snc again, or vice versa. if they do become friends, there's gonna need to be a LOT of talking to get thru all the bs that occurred.

also… snc are gonna have to deal with half the fandom hating elton for forever sksksk

[bloodboundsiege]

out of curiosity, what made you decide to make this into a full fledged visual novel instead of just writing a fic? esp since afaik there hasn't been a demand/outcry for more bloodbound

(this ended up being rlly long, so I'm putting it under a cut. if you don't want to read all of that, the tl;dr is I've been working on an spec adaptation of Bloodbound since 2021, I've been making edits with Choices assets for a little over a year now, and I started messing around with ren'py during my stint in the now no longer active @nightboundthesecond project, and this spinoff is the culmination of all of those things bc I wanted to do something w them).

Anyways, here's the long version:

So...I kind of already did. Sort of.

In summer of 2021, I was going through a pretty bad depressive episode and ended up rereading Bloodbound (which got me back into the fandom as a whole, more on that in a sec). When the dust cleared, I began really heavily reconsidering what exactly I was doing with my life.

I'd been toying with the possibility of doing a film MFA of some kind, but I was worried I didn't have the skillset to get into any grad programs. So, I began teaching myself how to write screenplays by adapting Bloodbound into a spec TV series. From August 2021 to April 2022, I wrote twenty-eight episodes, with three rounds of revisions, which really strengthened my abilities as a writer. I'm currently at a T10 film school getting an MFA. I wouldn't be where I am without doing that. Part of my love for Bloodbound stems from the fact that it quite literally changed my life.

The very nature of turning a book into a screenplay/teleplay is that you have to restructure a lot of plot points so they fit in better with the new medium. With a TV adaptation, you also usually have to build onto the source material. For Bloodbound, that meant fleshing things out and creating new characters to move the plot forward. It also meant exploring things that either happened offscreen or were only brief scenes.

And so when it came time to write episodes for the book 2 adaptation, the huge aspect of that was going into New York City and seeing what Gaius was doing during his hostile takeover. And since I had very little to work with from the source material, I had to come up with a lot of stuff off the cuff. And as I put those storylines together, I was like there's actually some pretty interesting stuff here. This visual novel is based off of that stuff.

@clansayeed and his fantastic reimaginings of Bloodbound and Nightbound had been on my radar for a while at this point, but I wasn't aware of the fake caps he made until I actually checked out his tumblr account. I thought they were really fucking cool. As a little private celebration for finishing the third round of edits for season 1 (and to let myself take a break), I decided to teach myself how to make fakecaps and recreate a few scenes from my adaptation in the Choices format:

I found out that I really enjoyed reworking assets into new outfits and character designs--lowkey, putting on a podcast or a video essay, opening up pixlr, and just making stuff became one of my go-to ways to unwind in the midst of mfa apps and life in general--, so I started making more fandom service stuff for fun and posting them on Reddit. I made a variety of stuff: role reversal AU edits, general dress up stuff, and of course... "on the set of [choices book]: the tv show" fake caps.

I feel like you're not really supposed to say this, but it was kind of validating to me that a lot of those posts did like. Decent numbers. And that kind of motivated me to get better at doing it, especially in the beginning.

And then...It Lives Within dropped. And I think that shifted a lot of how people--myself included--considered what they could do within a fandom space like Choices. Like, if we could make our own shit, why not? I was really intrigued by the idea, and so when there were calls for writers and sprite artists for a Nightbound project, I jumped at the opportunity.

(As a side note, I think the fact that now there are people within the fandom making their own sequels/spinoffs/whatever is gonna be rlly interesting for the general ecosystem of the Choices fandom and its future, but that's a convo for another time lol)

While the team I was on is no longer working on a sequel, being part of that group did a lot for me, and I look back on being part of that really fondly. I think we all were kind of picking up whatever we needed to do, regardless of if it was what we signed on for. For me, that meant teaching myself how to use Ren'py. The thing was, this was still in the really early stages of development, which meant I didn't have a lot of story to play with. So...

I was kind of like. Fuck it. Let me try my own thing out.

The original idea was actually a prequel set in the 1910s, as I'd done an MC set and an LI set based on that very premise, but the problem was that there are so few assets from that time period, and asset creation has never been my strong suit. But then, I thought back to the adaptation I'd been working on.

Some of the strongest writing I think I've ever done was in the episodes where the primary storylines were following Gaius's takeover of New York. I think a lot of the themes of the second book came out in those moments. And as cool as it would be, as much as I've fantasized about it, I don't think Bloodbound: The TV Show is ever happening. So it made sense for me to rework that into a visual novel spinoff.

In terms of the actual framing of this story, I spent a lot of time in the Bloodbound tags in the early days of working on my adaptation. I was deep in those tags. And it's really interesting to see what people expected it to be before its release. Part of it was the assumption of a Clan sorting system. Obviously, that wasn't actually the case.

Additionally, I think a lot of people were frustrated by the fact that Bloodbound's MC isn't really given the option to just. Be bad. Which then makes moments like this super jarring:

So, I decided to put everything I'd learned together. I was working on the GUI/character creation features for Nightbound (side note, the GUI in this game isn't an absolutely perfect replication of the Choices GUI yet and won't be for the demo, but we're getting there), I had a ton of edits I'd made that I wasn't using for anything, and I had a story that I knew could be reworked into an arc about a new vampire in New York City during Gaius's coup.

But with this project in general, it's less about a demand for a sequel/midquel/spinoff within the fandom and more like. I noticed that there were some things people wanted out of Bloodbound and didn't get, and trying to give it to them, because I wanted those things too, and I felt like I had the means to create that. When I've talked to IRL friends about this project (non of whom play Choices), I've just been like "yeah it's a visual novel fanfic" because...it's a visual novel fanfic.

So. That's why.

(This was super long (and felt a little self centered, sorry!), but if you read all of that, I hope it all made sense. All of this is to say that this has been a labor of love for a book series I've been living with for a year and a half, and I want to get part of what I've done with it out of my head. I hope you all like it.)

[cheryyori]

NIGHTMARE EYES PT. 2

pairing(s): steven grant/fem!oc for this part mainly (platonic dane/fem!oc)

summary: OK, so she's got a date now. And a possible future boyfriend. Ok, cool, nothing could go wrong right?

warning(s): mental health illness, possible inaccurate depictions of DID (I tried my best to research tho in spare time, also based on events in the show), horror elements, gore/blood elements, murders

author's note: ok so here my fic idea, but it's bare bones bc I haven't been in the best mood to write this down properly but I wanted to share this idea with everyone else. It's very messy so sorry about that. Probs some gaps in between but I'll fill it in a more edited version.

This chapter(?) shows Izanami and Sunny's relationship and what she does for her and the shit she goes through. We also get a small Marc and Sunny moment towards the end. You're welcome.

This was originally supposed to be done before Halloween bc of the spooky vibes it had but that didn't happen, sorry. Next part will be starting to mix with the plot of the show.

Other than that enjoy this word vomit bullet point for my fic idea (I'll probably change the format for the next part bc this looks messy :()

Open to also write hc and other blurbs for this au/characters (spoilers free for nightmare eyes au plot tho). Taglist open for anyone interested for updates.

Red italicized is Izanami either speaking or in Sunny's head & italicized is speaking in Korean

taglist: @ahookedheroespureheart

《PREV | NEXT》

Ok. So that happened.

Truthfully she's still buzzed from the kiss even after he left. But like???

Wow.

That kiss.

Wow x2

She hadn't had a kiss like that since well forever.

She pats her cheeks and blinks shaking her head, "Get a hold of yourself! It's just a kiss!" A damn good one tho.

She received a text a few minutes later about the details of their date. Right, steak. It was still odd that he would invite her there but maybe it was like he said. He wanted to impress her.

Ok points for effort. She'll let it slide for now.

The next day she sees Steven and smiles when he greets her, "Oh love, you're here I just wanted to say sorry about before." Why would he want to say sorry???

"What?"

"Sorry I was so caught up in my own thoughts I never got to ask you about it..."

What????

"About what?"

"The...erm....kiss....and, well, us?"

Oh.

Oh.

OH!

"U-us?" Oh god she forgot they never really did talk about it but then again...didn't he ask her out??? "Oh, well, what about us...?"

"Well I was wondering...does this make us more than friends?" She blinks.

"...do you want us to be more than friends, Steven?"

"Do you?"

She paused, he was fidgeting the entire time with rosy cheeks.

"Well...what would you say if I said yes...?"

She's sure his brain had short circuited bc he starts stumbling over his word.

"Y-yes, oh you said yes, well I'd say I'd like that..."

"Then we're more than friends, but only after our date and maybe get to know each other more," she added. Steven looks confused.

"Date?"

"Don't you remember? You came here last night and kissed me after going MIA for a week and then asked me on a date."

"A WEEK??!" He shouted before apologizing, "Sorry, I mean I did????"

"Yes, Steven. Don't you remember?" She gives him a concerned look before he shook his head.

"No I, I guess it must have slipped my mind, truthfully my memory hasnt been its best these last couple of days, I have, ah, sort of health condition," he confessed sheepishly.

Oh, well that might be why he didn't remember. She didn't pry for more details, she figured if he was comfortable, he'll tell her.

"Erm, for the date, what did we say it was at?"

"You suggested a steakhouse, I know I had the same look but you said you wanted to be for me, which was sweet and all but you didn't have to do that," she said, slightly skeptical.

"Oh no, it's fine, love! If I suggested it then I must have suggested. Oh bullocks, I wanted to remember asking you out at least, and even I couldn't do that," he laughs with a slightly dejected look on his face, "Makes me wonder why you'd accept a bloke like me."

"Aish, Steven, I've already told you not to sell yourself short, you're the sweetest and most kindhearted man, I love how your entire being lights up when you ramble about all the things that catches your interests, I might not have a clue on them half the time but they're something that makes you happy and that's what's important to me," she said.

"You mean that?"

"Of course! I've always liked you Steven and your ramblings too, I guess I was just scared you'd reject me. Who knew me kissing you suddenly would cause this!"

He chuckled before blinking, "I know you said we can try to be more than friends after the date but...may I have another kiss?"

She squeals, feeling her cheeks become red. The way he asked HER to kiss HIM!!! Oh her heart.

"Hmmm, okay just because maybe I find you to be cute," she says before giving him a soft peck on the lips. She could feel him practically melt in her arms. His hunched shoulders relaxed as he leaned into the kiss.

It was cute how he followed as she pulled away from the kiss, still dazed.

When she pulled away he was staring at her with hearts.

"Shall we get going, we'll miss our bus if we wait any longer." He nodded as he held her hand making her squeal internally. Yeah yeah call her a fucking idiot for fawning over this, but she was a romantic at heart.

The ride on the bus seemed normal, they talked as usual about different topics, mainly Steven and she just couldn't help but adore how excited he looked. Only new addition was that Steven held her hand and would have the brightest smile on his face compared to before. He did try to follow her off the bus when they reached her stop, mostly bc he wanted to walk her to work.

Luckily she stopped him, saying how he'll be late for work. He was reluctant and only relented when she offered to meet him for lunch.

Speaking of work, Dane notice how his friend was practically glowing. Ofc he would tease her. Bastard.

"Well you're in a great mood today," he notes.

"Maybe I just got a good night's sleep, you ever thought of that, Dane?" She asked. Dane rolled his eyes.

"Yeah yeah, alright spill," he says, "What's got you all cheery today? You're usually dreading for the morning classes," he said.

He squinted his eyes at her before snapped his fingers. "I got it, you've got a date, didn't you?!"

HOW TF DID HE KNOW?!

"Who told you?!"

"You did! Just now! I knew it! Well go on, who is it? Wait, it's that nerdy gift shopist friend of yours you've been talking to, innit?"

"That's classified information, I have a code when it comes to dating and one of them is to not reveal their identities to friends until after the 8th date!"

"So it is him! Bloody finally! I was getting tired of seeing you two pine over each other like two school yard kids!" Dane said before sticking his head outside of the room, "Oi! Llyod, you owe 20 now! He finally asked her out!"

"You made a betting pool on us?! Dane!!"

She's gonna kill him. But apparently that's against the law, so she settled for smacking his shoulder with her teaching notes instead.

The day went by slowly until lunch arrived. Somehow she was bombared by the kids asking if Steven was with her, some of the kids kinda took a liking to him when he kept adding on to her teachings when he was waiting for her.

She was glad the kids liked him, they called him the funny tired man ever since. And GOD, she'll never let it down if he heard they also call him her boyfriend as well. Though the thought makes her a bit giddy.

She texted Steven she was on her way and took a seat on the bus. She was glad she had no classes to teach right after her lunch break, meaning she gets more time to herself. Usually she would use this time to grade her students work or make more lesson plans but she decided not to this time.

As she was lost in her own thoughts, a certain goddess decided to make her appearance.

"I see you're enjoying yourself with your little boy toy."

Sunny almost screamed but refrained as she held a hand over her heart, "What the fuck?!" She cursed and took a deep breath as she saw Izanami scrolling on her phone.

(Hold on, do goddesses even have phones or allowed to have them at all??? Aren't they supposed to be omnipresent or whatever...)

She took a quick look around and saw a few people around, but they were all lost in their own thoughts or their phones.

"Although you're free to do as you please in your spare time, remember that the spirits remain restless, I'll need you to investigate one that's been causing a scene in the living."

"Jesus can't you get someone else to be your own paranormal cop/detective?!"

"No." Damn, what did she expect really...

"Tonight? Really? Can't you get any of the other gods to help you?"

"I'm afraid you forget that I'm not quite well liked within my own pantheon, besides, none of the other gods will want to meddle with the dead, they find anything regarding the afterlife or is considered cursed to be nothing more than a little stain on their robes."

Yeesh, dramatic much. She's just asking for a break not a damn monolog.

"Be grateful, my dear, you're only doing the bare minimum of interacting and comforting them before helping them pass on."

Sunny rolled her eyes mimicking the goddess. "Meh meh, comfort my ass, tell that to the Crooked Man knock-off slug that literally tied to haunt my possible future boyfriend!"

"I thought you said that you two would be more than friends after the first date."

"Shut up! You know what I mean!" She yelled only to pause as she looked around to see some people staring at her, "Ha, sorry," she said, holding her phone out and pointed to her airpod in her ear, "Bit of a heated argument, sorry!"

"Regardless my little detective, work must be done to return balance in the afterlife. I have faith in you, my dear." She said, patting Sunny's cheek as if she was a child, making her click her tongue and slap her hand away.

"Oh shut it, if I do this you have to give me night of the date off! Agreed?"

Izanami hums before relenting with a nod and a roll of her eyes, "Very well, but don't push you're luck, be grateful that I'm quite fond of you," she said, "Also for your date, please wear something suitable, if I must, I will lend you something from my personal wardrobe."

"Hey, what's wrong with how I dress? It's comfy," Sunny huffed, glancing down at her clothes.

"Hm perhaps if this was dark academia libary date, yes, but if you're dining at a 5 star steakhouse restaurant please do follow the dress code."

"Ok, now that's just rude. There is nothing wrong with how I dress and I'm done with this conversation," she huffed.

"Oh!" Iznami gasped, startling her.

"What? What happened?" The goddess stared at her phone before replying.

"Seems like there's a promotion on those red bean soup from that little noodle shop you like," she said, an odd glee in her eyes.

"For all powerful goddess, you sure do have a knack for special deals from there..."

For some reason the goddess really loved the red bean soup from there and always demanded she get it for her if she was ordering take out from there. before getting off the bus and headed towards the museum.

She immediately went towards the gift shop where she saw Steven. "Steven!" She called out, startling him slightly before he turned and saw her.

"Oh Sunny, love," he said, "You startled me, is it lunchtime already?" He asked.

"Yeah, but I can wait for you while you finish up," she said. She decided to explore the museum exhibits while he finished.

Sunny merely took a quick glance through the ancient exhibits on displayed when she noticed how peeved Izanami looked. Sunny swears she sees a slight pout on her lips. Her thoughts were cut of when she heard her name and saw Steven. When she turned back, Izanami was already gone.

"Alright love, I should be done now," he said as he grabbed his bag.

"Great, let's get going then shall we?" She took his hand and led him out, internally smirking when she saw the look Donna and the security guard up front that had tried to flirt with her last week. Yeah it kinda felt nice to see them gawking at the two in shock.

"So I heard there's this nice cafe, we can have tea and some pastries if you'd like," he suggested.

"Oh that sounds great! Let's go!" She lets him lead her to the cafe, it was nice and cozy. And the pastries were heavenly and absolutely adorable. Reminds her of the cafés when she visited her relatives in Korea.

Steven has mostly talked, ranging from how his day went after they parted to how he notices some of the promotional posters for the Egyptian exhibit were wrong.

"Might have to bring it up to Donna later tonight," he said. She frowned at the mention of his boss.

"You sure you're don't need me to talk to her, listen if anything I'll get Dane to scold her since we'll he's pretty well known bc of his work, maybe she'll listen to him. Or better yet maybe he can help you get another job at a different museum."

"No, love its fine," he sighed.

"God one of these days I'll throttle her for you, she's such a bitch, I'm not even sure why she can't let you be a tour guide, I mean you have a health condition regarding why you're absent and or late, if she knows that then why can't see understand that!" Sunny huffed, though she didn't know it, it warmed his heart at her words.

He didn't think he'd be so lucky to find someone as understanding and kind as her. Maybe life was finally turning around for him.

"Love, it's quite alright, I don't mind as long as I can be close to the Egyptian exhibit, and knowing that you'll be here to listen to me when I'm down makes me feel better."

"You still shouldn't have to go through all that..." she sighed. Steven gave her a small smile.

"Well enough about me, how's your day, love?" He asked.

"The same as always, you know Dane made a damn betting pool on whether we'd go on a date or not?"

"Really, I didn't think of him as the sort to do that," Steven said.

"Oh you'd be surprised on what he does, a little bit unpredictable at times, you know we used the have Tuesday Karaoke nights before but not anymore!"

"Karaoke nights? Just the two of you? You sure I don't have to worry about the two of you being together?" He jokes, but a part of him was curious of their relationship. Maybe he was still a bit jealous deep down.

"Oh no, Dane and I are just friends since college, we met when he was an exchange student at our school. Well, I guess now we're best friends at this point," She said, "We used to frequent a karaoke bar we found in Chinatown. We usually just sit there to eat and drink at the noodle bar while others do karaoke on stage, though recently he's been going through a rough patch because of his girlfriend...being away..." she adds the last part hesitantly.

Yeah it probably wouldn't be smart for her to mention to Steven that Sersi was taken by some weird alien.

"Oh I'm sorry to hear about him and his girlfriend going through it, but maybe the two of us can go one day," Steven suggested. And he knew he hit the jackpot when he saw how her eyes lit up. An adorable sight really.

"Really? Oh my god we should! You'll have a blast there!" She said, shaking her hands from excitement as she was practically vibrating with glee at the thought.

Oh goodness, his heart was gonna burst.

"You're so adorable, love," Steven cooed as he placed his chin under his palms. Yup, he was sure he'd looked like a love sick puppy to others, but honestly he didn't really care, "It's still hard for me to wrap my head around how why you'd accept someone like me."

"Steven, I told you--"

"I know, but still...you probably had a lot of boyfriends in the past I bet, or maybe even girlfriends, I wouldn't blame them."

Sunny lets out a nervous chuckle, "Oh, uh, I really haven't had alot of dating experience really. Maybe like 1 or 2 serious relationships in the past but they didn't really end well."

"Really?" Now Steven was surprised.

"Ha, let's just say that younger me wasn't very well liked....not to say that people hated me or anything, I just was never anyone's first choice....I was just...odd to people."

Yeah, definitely being able to see undead things and spirits definitely makes her odd, she thinks.

"Well that's not right," Steven mutters. "And beside, being normal is overrated anyways," he quips, "I think you're quite pleasant even if you are odd."

"Awww, Steven, you're too kind," she grins, "Well who knows, I'm still hopeful that someone will love me as I am wholely," she said offhandedly as she glanced out the window.

Steven feels his cheeks become hot. A hopeful romantic to a fault, he can't help but wonder if he could be the one. Maybe, maybe not. But he can't help but fantasize at the thought.

"Maybe," he mutters to himself.

The waitress brought them their food. Steven took this moment to thank the waitress as they asked if they needed anything else.

While this happened, Sunny took a small sip of her ice tea and glanced outside the window. Everything seemed normal until she saw it.

Admist the busy streets of London stood a tall looming figure. Neck crooked, eyes hollow and drenched in blood. It's mouth slowly opened, wide enough to reveal its sharp teeth. Seeing its mouth open she saw a face sunken in its mouth, a look of pure agony and terror on its expression

She choked on her own drink, causing Steven to rush over to her side and pat her back as she coughed violently.

"Goodness love, you alright?!"

"J-just went down the wrong pipe, I'm alright," she coughed, looking back out through the window and the creature gone.

"What the fuck..." she mutters before looking back at Steven to see his concern face, "I'm okay, just got spooked, that's all," she said.

"Are you sure, love?" She continued to reassure him before telling him that they should eat their lunch before his break was over.

Steven relented, not sure what to say. He was sure she saw something but when he glanced out it was just the busy London street, nothing out of the ordinary.

"Yeah, fine, let's eat before our food gets cold," she said in hopes that he would leave the subject be.

He did, but continued to give her worried glances ever few minutes.

Somehow lunch went on smoothly after that, but she was still shaken by what she saw. She could hear Izanami complain in the back of her head how the spirits were becoming more bold and restless and that doesn't make her feel better tbh.

Once she dropped Steven back at the museum, she left. She turned to corner only to shout when she ran into a familar ghost wearing shade.

"Oh my God! You again?!" She had an exasperated look, "So what? You're just following me around now?!" She said with more mild annoyance rather than fear the first time she met the ghost.

Yeah she's terrified of the ghosts half of the time, but if they're just going to do things like this the fear suddenly lessens a bit.

"Don't blame them for sticking to you, my dear," Izanami said, appearing beside her again.

"Oh my god!" She jumps, "I swear we to get you a bell or something..." she sighs.

The goddess merely ignored her as she walked and turned around the corner.

This bitch...

She followed after, knowing that the goddess usually doesn't make her appearance unless it involves some stray spirits.

Or maybe to bother her.

She noticed a large crowd forming along side the riverbank. Sirens from the constables car going off in the background.

She saw the goddess standing among the crowd with arms crossed, her eyes staring out into the water.

Sunny heard hush whispers among the crowd, something about a missing woman found dead in the river.

She had a bad feeling about this.

Before she could ask Izanami why they were heard she look out to see a woman standing in the middle of the water, dress in a white night gown.

Oh great.

She gulped and nervously glanced back at the goddess, shifting uncomfortably at the sight of the woman slowly emerging out of the water.

"It's usually rare of me to stumble upon a vengeful spirit in the making," Izanami suddenly commented.

"Woah, wait! 'Vengeful'?!" Sunny squeaked.

"Oh relax my dear, she's not at the stage yet, we can prevent it if we find out reason for her anger."

Sunny grimaced at the thought as the spirit was now before them, the rest of the crowd ignorant to what was happening.

She's had her fair share of encounters with more vengeful spirits and trust her, it's not that great.

"So my dear, I can sense you're angry, may I ask why? Perhaps we can help?"

"...my husband...he did this to me..."

"Hm, I see, I can understand the sentiment..."

"Izanami..." Sunny muttered feeling uncomfortable at the spirit before her. She saw how blood had been trailing down her head and onto her clothes. Her skin a now deathly pale blue color. Not to mention the sudden shift of how thick the air around them felt. She felt that she was going to choke.

"Fine, fine, so you want revenge on your husband I see, I'm assuming he's the one that killed you. Hmm, I'm usually not the one to mess with the living but I suppose I can an exception for this case."

Izanami hummed as she tapped her pointer finger against her chin, "But because it involves the living it will cost you my dear, what do you have to offer to me to fulfill this?"

"Are you really extorting the ghost?!" Sunny gasped.

The spirit contemplated, "I don't have any money on me..."

"Oh, it doesn't have to be of the monetary type, anything you deem of value, it can sentimental as well."

The spirit remained quiet before taking off a ring that was on her finger. Izanami took the ring an inspected it.

"I see, very well, consider it done," she said before tossing it to Sunny, who was startled as she caught it.

She gazed at the ring and notices the very expensive looking diamond attached to the ring, "Holy shit...."

This damn rock could cover her bills for an entire 2 months!

(tw: gore & blood warning)

Before she could ask Izanami what she was gonna do with ring, the spirit suddenly dug her fingers into the side of her skull.

A strange sound of discomfort coming from the back of Sunny's throat at the sight.

The sounds of squelching was heard before the spirit took out a single bullet, covered in red and has bits of possibly brain matter on it.

Sunny grimaced at the sight and turned away, feeling sick as Izanami took the bullet from the spirit.

"I hope you feel at ease, dear," Izanami replied in a soft voice. It was odd hearing the goddess sound so tender and sincere considering how she usually is.

And with that the spirit disappeared. The thick air lifting as she exhaled a deep breath she didn't know she had been holding in.

"So...that's it?" She mutters, taking a look around them. No one had noticed what took place and continued on as normal.

"For now," Izanami replies.

"That's quite ominous of you to say..."

"What do you want me to say, it'll take some time to enact their just revenge, I can't just drop my duties to do just that."

"And those duties are?" Sunny asked. Izanami doesn't replied.

She sighs before leaving the scene and quickly headed back to museums before her next class. The diamond ring seemed heavy in her pocket as she worried what exactly the goddess was planning to do to exact the spirit's revenge.

Nothing good, most likely.

NIGHT TIME - 11:10PM

After work, Sunny had almost all but forgotten the experience from earlier as she walked down the streets towards the bus stop.

Dane offered to wait for her like usual, but he seemed a bit jittery, almost anxious. She decided that maybe he was still worried about Sersi.

So she declined, telling him to head home for the night. She sighed as she walked past a few buildings hoping to catch the last bus or maybe even a cab at this point.

She had been deep in her own thoughts relaying today's events when she heard a sudden clash.

She jumped as she turned to see what it was. Some nearby trash can were knocked over, a part of her wants thinks it's the wind, but she knows it's not the case.

Call her paranoid, but when you've spent years dealing with ghost, it doesn't hurt to be cautious.

Sunny hastily made her way towards the end of the street, gripping her phone in one hand.

God how she wished she brought her baseball bat with her. She took a quick glance over her shoulder to see nothing when-

"What are you doing?"

She screamed as she turned to see Izanami standing before her.

"Oh god," she gasped, "Stop doing that, you're gonna give me a heart attack one day..."

Izanami frowned, "I wouldn't let that happen."

"That's oddly comforting to hear..." Sunny said, "Well since you're here, have...have you noticed anything odd around here?"

Izanami raised a brow at her, "What do you mean?"

"I mean, you know something...well, something that involves the dead?"

Before the goddess could speak, all the lights before them had suddenly shut off. The two stared at each other before a few minutes later the lights turned back on, only with a red hue.

"This is new..." Izanami notes, sounding quite suprised. Sunny shushes the goddess, hearing something in the distance.

"...do you hear that?" The two paused, listening closely. It sounded like footsteps. Along with some heavy breathing.

The two glanced at each other before they saw it.

A large looming figure with four elongated limbs protruding from its torso. The portion where it's head should be had multiple eyes all over it and slit across its face representing its mouth.

Oh shit.

Sunny gasped, but Izanami quickly placed her hand over her mouth, shushing her.

"Don't," she whispered, "Don't make a sound. Just slowly back away and hide into the alley while it passes..." she said, slowly lowering her hand from Sunny's mouth and gripped her arm to follow her lead.

She nodded as they backed away slowly, keeping their eyes on the creature. They continued walking back until they stumbled upon some trash cans that were laying about on the sidewalk.

The creature suddenly turned its head towards them, slowly emerging as it faced them.

"Well this is bad," Izanami mutters.

"Yeah, you think!? Can't you do something about that thing?!"

"I can't do anything against that thing!"

"But you're a god! One that oversees the underworld specifically!" Sunny jumps as the creature lets out a growl.

"Yes, but under certian circumstances, I have no control over that foul beast!"

"So you're basically useless to me right now! Great, what's the point in being bothered by an all powerful god if they can't even have the power to protect you?!" Sunny snapped, "Then what the hell am I supposed to do?!"

"Quit talking and just run!"

Sunny did just that as she dipped into the nearby alleyway, hearing the creature let out a shriek and chase after her.

She screamed as it slammed into the side of the building. She kicked an unstable plank holding some crates to collapse and fall over in hopes to temporarily stop the creature.

She panted as ducked under some fencing rails and slipped into a smaller alleyway that had exited out into a more open alleyway.

She paused, sensing that the creature was nowhere nearby. For a second she felt a bit of ease.

She took a step back before her foot stepped on something. She glanced down to see a small pendant. She knelt down to picked it up and quickly inspected it. It was gold with inscriptions embossed on it.

The inscription was in kanji, she'll have to ask Izanami what it says then.

She stood straight and pulled out her phone to see where she was at when she heard a faint whisper.

She paused, slowly hearing the whisper grow more louder and more frantic. She held her breath and glanced over her shoulder to see a ghostly looking woman, her hands covering her face as she let out sobs.

Sunny took a step back as the woman removed her hands and stared at her with a vacant expression before a large wide grin was seen.

A distorted giggle left their lips before their head suddenly split open, revealing a large inflated one with large bulging eyes and a wide grin with sharp teeth snapping at her.

"Are you fucking with me--" she ducked as it lurched forward, slamming itself against the wall behind her. She ran as it let out fits of giggles and clattering before it followed after her.

"Izanami, if you can hear me throughout all this chaos, I swear to fucking God, if you don't tell me what the fuck is going I'm gonna fucking lose it!"

Well there's no reason to be so crude about it!

"Izanami!"

Alright, alright! I'm afraid I'm not sure why so many ghastly spirits are emerging at this time, were not even close to the night parade yet...

"The what now?!"

Never mind that, just keep running and take a left, it'll lead you through an alley in front of the apartment building---duck!!

Sunny gasped and suddenly ducked, rolling on her side as a large arm shot its way out between the walls out of nowhere. She winced as she hit her head against the pavement, a small cut was seen above her left brow.

She pressed her fingers above her brow when she felt something trickle down her face.

Great. Blood.

She lets out groan as she stood back up to see the arm crawling around to find her. She stepped back as the arm swiped at her.

She glanced over to see a wooden board and grabbed it as she hit the arm over and over again as it tried to grab her. The arm stilled before disappearing into black smoke.

A huff escaped her lips as she threw the board away. She recalled Izanami saying if she slipped through the upcoming alley it would lead her to the front of the apartment building.

The air was still thick, she glanced down the end of the alley to see the second spirit she had saw earlier, staring back at her. The distorted giggles and clatter were heard.

She held her bag close to her before the spirit suddenly disappeared. A slight sense of relief washed over her, although only temporarily before Izanami spoke.

Best make haste now, I can still sense the foul beast close by.

Speak of the devil, a loud shriek was heard before she turned to see the first spirit at the very end.

"Seriously?!" She quickly slipped into alley and found herself in front of the apartments. She rushed inside, shut the front door and staring out through the small window to see the spirit slowly disappear with the wind.

She sighed and placed her head against the door frame. She hate this.

Slowly Sunny made her way towards the lift and pressed the button to her floor. She could feel herself on edge as she glanced around the lift. No spirits popping out of nowhere like the last time.

She saw herself in the reflection, God she looked like shit. Her hair was disheveled, her clothes all rumpled up and a mess, and the bleeding cut above her brow.

Glad that no one was around at least.

Once she reached her floor, she hastily turned back and exited the lift, paranoia and adrenaline still filling her system before she heard a voice.

"Shit are you okay?"

She quickly turned to see Steven, his eyes wide as he took in her appearance. He was dressed differently than usual and his messy unkempt curls was pushed back. And the accent was off, but slightly different than the last time.

On any normal day, she would have pointed it out, but her mind was frazzled and too much of a mess to notice.

"Oh god, Steven?"

"I--" he didn't get a chance to speak when she rushed in to hug him. Her body relaxed, all the adrenaline slowly left her and the exhaustion settled in.

He stiffened, unsure how to react. He was just worried when he saw a woman all banged up left the lift.

She had called him Steven, meaning she knew the other alter. Shit.

He swallowed thickly before wrapping his arms around her, "Hey, it'll be fine, you're okay..." he said.

He pulled away as he looked over at the cut she had. It wasn't too bad but he'll need to patch her up.

"What happened?" He asked, doing his best put on the same accent Steven always had.

"Umm..." she shifted uncomfortably and looked away. She didn't think telling him what happened would be a good idea.

He noticed that she was uncomfortable and decided not to push now, it didn't look like nothing dire had happened to her if you know what he means.

"Hey, you don't have to tell me, but we should do something about that cut though," he said.

"Oh yeah..." she paused, "I, uh, I have a first aid kit in my flat..."

He nodded as she took out her keys to unlocked the door to her flat. Inside she switched the lights on.

The inside was similar to Steven's but definitely more spacious and had another extra small room.

Everything looked simple and neat, some vine decor above the curtains to give some more color.

"Uh, the first aid is in that top cabinet there," she pointed as she dropped onto the couch in the middle of the living room area.

He nodded as he went to the cabinet and grabbed the first aid. She huffed and laid back onto the couch.

As he grabbed the first aid, he noticed her id card settling down on the counter. He caught a glance and noticed the name making him freeze.

Shit.

He took a deep breath before heading back to where she was at, "Hey," he called out, startling her awake, "You need to stay awake for a bit, don't know if you've gotten a concussion or not..."

"I'll be fine, I didn't really hit my head that hard..."

"So you did hit your head, even more of a reason you should stay awake."

He paused as he took some alcohol wipes and move her bangs to the side as he pressed them lightly onto the cut.

"Ouch," she mutters, wincing slightly at the pain.

"Sorry, should've warned you that it'll hurt."

"Its fine, it's not that bad," she said.

"So...we gonna talk how you got all banged up?"

"I...uh, fell down the stairs..." she hoped he'd buy it.

He had a look on his face, his brows scrunched together before sighing, "Sure."

Once he was done, he placed a plaster over the cut and put the first aid kit away. Silence fell between the two. He felt anxious.

"I, uh, listen I gotta go, have something to do real quick."

She hummed, "Ok," she mutters, heavily tired as she closed her eyes. He noticed that she was about to fall asleep. She didn't look like she had a concussion when he checked her head. So he deemed it safe for her to sleep.

"Let's get you to bed, otherwise you'll wake up with a crink in your neck if you sleep here," she hummed in response as he helped her up.

He managed to find her room and placed her on the bed. He tucked under the duvet before sighing. He waited for a moment before he heard her breathing even out, signaling that she was fast asleep.

"Night Sunshine," he mutters before leaving for the night to do a moon God's bidding.

[maxbernini]

I'm sorry, but that looks like a fan trailer. Some random old clips, some random frases that can be literally for any character... I can make that trailer Druck, why are you not paying me? xD

i have literally seen better fan trailers jdaksdka. i don't mind the phrases (wish they were intercut with new footage; old clips don't get me hype lol), but minus the rule breaking one, these don't feel specific to the mailin we've seen? and i know they switched teams but "who do you want to be?" would be a much stronger new gen thesis if nora & fatou's (non existent) trailers had them too idk.

anyways let's talk about #REAL artistry

the phallic imagery cris ignores vs joana piquing her interest immediately and then literally getting her wet lmao. the way this is a clear reference to isak's trailer but it's also not a copy. it’s erotic without being over-sexualised, it’s fun, it’s exciting. the first kiss foreshadowing with the pool. the first time we hear hurricanes.

viri’s reverse trailer, like sana's, is such a simple concept yet it does so much. like it’s not just the idea that she’s putting on a false brave face, or that you can’t judge a book by its cover (everyone’s fighting a battle etc), it’s also that she’s stuck and not moving forwards, because that’s how poverty works.

the cashqueens not appearing at all and the focus being on the instas partying, tricking us into believing they’d be the main squad - much like viri’s, there’s the idea of hiding something, a truth yet to be revealed (also showing how fake the instas are). and the entire cast doing voiceovers! i think that works so well with nora’s mindset and just as a general anxieties-of-youth thing? reminds me of the jonas speeches in s1.

literally signaling all the plots and dynamics (and changes in dynamics) via simple bed shots, quick editing, and minimal acting. and the importance of a bed to the story! the music being both hopeful and ominous. the trailer ending with the camera going down to rest next to grace, meant to represent daniel, but also the way we’re going to follow her for 10 weeks too.

the og date fading to white before the new date pops up in yellow! amira’s voiceover apologizing to us for that because she needed time! starting with her staring at us before she leaves! the super quick flashes of new footage representing the ‘caught between two worlds’ concept and how confused & chaotic her mindset is rn!! (and the way she prays when that happens, which we’re seeing!)

everyone look away but i actually like lucas’ trailer. i think it’s fun to see the ‘first time i saw you’ moment and know that that’s what we’re seeing, and with the way the real time format works it’s like...idk, we know something the main doesn’t, we know how important they’re about to become to each other etc.

included spiritually but not physically are a) the og trailers bc i wanted to focus on the remakes, b) nora grace’s bc i couldn’t get a clear screenshot which is the point of that trailer jfkdsdsd, and c) maya’s trailer bc i experienced emotions that night i don’t think i ever will again. also i think italia s2 was a fine twist on isak’s too but cris did it better.

[riewritten]

what do you do when inspiration suddenly hits you? like do you just memorize it in ur head or note it somewhere or do u work on that idea immediately?? im very very curious about ur creative process PLEASE OVERSHARE because i believe there are things that are new to me. like you write and draw and it's amazing how tou do both! i'm more curious about ur writing process because i don't write much (nowadays i only journal or write diary entries, in the past i did write fanfictions but they're almost all oneshots or unplanned dropped after 2 or 3 chapters). (how) do you plan your storyline? do you consider yourself flexible (like are u comfortable with changing plans in a big project where one change could lead to other changes?). Do you beta read by yourself or is there anyone who does it? if you do it by yourself, what do you feel when re-reading your writings? i literally have sm questions but i don't wanna overwhelm you 😭😭😭 you don't need to answer if you don't want to, that's alright!!!

when u said i could overshare

for whenever the inspiration hits, i tend to start on it immediately. writing is such a mood booster for me and i'm in a low mood most of the time so i seize the moment whenever motivation comes :'D sometimes when i'm busy (let's say school/work) and a great idea pops in (usually in quote format), i just lay it down in my gdocs. for oneshots, 1 doc would suffice. for longfics, the docs per chapter are contained in a folder.

i don't think i'm great in fan arts (i just get the boost from those who draw well—like u!) so i'm glad you appreciate it as well <3

regarding my writing process, someone actually asked me about it before! but to generalize my answer there, i ponder on 3 things (plot, characterization, & chapter study). my first fic (and my first series in general) was dusk in the brightest. i worked on chapter study first: detailed sequence of events from C1-10, vague concept in 11-15, then the rest is just 2-3 sentences of how i want the story to end. the 2nd one, character study, was smth i learned from a professor in one of my subjects when i submitted a one-act play script to her and she heavily criticized my characterization (like so badly i still get jitters remembering it) 😭 since then, i've been very wary with getting things accurate and consistent with my characters. for my plot-heavy fics, that's what i'm most serious for.

i think my flexibility (i dont even think i got that) was v challenged during the last arc of DIB because i suddenly had a complete change of mind with the ending (exactly what u had mentioned: changes that would lead one thing to the other). it was def not comfortable but a great tip (i think) to work around it is that: go back to your earlier chapters, pick up the most random scenarios you had made, then come up with a reason why that random thing ensued. an example of executing it is how isayama worked around aot's first scene (child!eren crying & mikasa being the first one he sees) by connecting it to his last scene in the manga (ofc i wouldn't assume isayama just thought abt it midway. it's just with how he executed it).

i don't have lots of friends in this app so i usually do the revisions all by myself. i'm a type of author that releases chapters impulsively—i'd publish smth that i hadn't proofread yet, read it in the app, then just do all the editing there. i'll repeat the process until i finally get satisfied. i think it's easier for me to point out mistakes when i feel the urgency to do so (like omg i have to hurry in polishing this bc readers might click anytime soon 😭) though someone helped me change POVs (from 1st to 2nd) in DIB C1-13 and let me tell u that i never thought having someone help me beta read my work could bring me so much delight.

and pls don't worry about overwhelming me! using this app and dumping all my work here are literally what keeps me sane from the overwhelming things in my life atm. to have u appreciate it gives me joy & comfort. thats why i'd be honored to answer all of ur questions :'D