#edited version op is pretty nice

[fembutchboygirl]

😊 edit-theyre-pretty-nice Follow

bowser jr and his dad and his dad’s husband eggman

🥪 probablyaprettyokblog Follow

literally

🐬 fembutchboygirl

op made this post unrebloggable so I stole it lol. also i've changed this version to match my new username. does this count as director's commentary

[room-surprise]

Dungeon Meshi Anime Review, Season 2, Episode 14 review

This is technically the second cour of Dungeon Meshi, with a new opening and ending so we've made it to season 2, baby!

Happy Kabru day! I think Trigger did a great job with this so I don't have a lot to talk about.

Spoilers below!

The new OP is really nicely animated and very sweet, but I don't really like it. I think the song isn't as good as the first OP and the visuals just don't really excite or interest me the way the first OP did. It's cute though! I think it would have made a great ending...

The ending is wonderful like before, with more beautiful illustrations. Are these also by Kui? Will we get Kui illustrations for every ending? That would be so fantastic! I like this song better than the new OP song...

What the hell are Fleki and Lycion laughing at in the ending. Just pointing and laughing at a water fountain...

There my darling lad Kabru goes, killing again! Good for him.

Animated very nicely, conveys just how fast and lethal Kabru is against human opponents. I hope that anime onlies are now worrying about Laios and his party! That's what they should be worrying about!

Love that they managed to capture Kui's insanely wonderful fight choreography, Kabru switching targets last second after doing a fake-out, and then stealing one person's sword to use it to kill two other people... He's so slick, and Trigger captured it so well.

Sadly no improvements (extra clarity) was added to any of the talking scenes in this ep that start to explain Kabru and his party's motivations. I didn't expect them to change anything though, so it's still as good as it was in the manga, which is still pretty damn good... But would have been nice to have someone tighten up the dialog and make it flow more like human conversation.

Characters sitting around and talking about stuff that isn't monster biology or cooking is probably Kui's greatest weak points as an author, and I don't blame her at all, but it's the one blind spot she could use a liiiiiiittle extra help with. At least in the first half of the manga. Towards the end she gets way better at it. Practice does that to you!

EDIT: Trigger made Holm eat meat!!! He's a religious vegetarian!!!! Oops.

SO.... english dub issues.

The cast is still generally great and the dub script is generally superior to the Japanese subtitles, though it seems like the Japanese subs might be getting better? Or this episode was unusually bad in English so the Japanese subs seemed better.

Kabru's voice in English...

The thing about Kabru's character is that he changes how he talks and acts depending on who he's talking to. The Japanese version does this relatively well.

It's mostly about the pitch of Kabru's voice and how sweet his tone is. He's trying to make himself sound non-threatening, polite, and friendly. And then when he's not doing that, he sounds more stern and mature, talking in a deeper pitch without being so self-effacing.

The English version... is struggling a bit with this.

In the other episodes it sounded alright, but in this episode Kabru's voice actor, for whatever reason, seemed to be mumbling/slurring his words, not enunciating, and cutting off and shortening his words, shoulda, woulda, kinda, and talking in a more "relaxed" and informal manner

This isn't inherently a problem, but since nobody else in the anime so far talks like this, what does this style of speaking signify? Why is Kabru talking like this for this entire episode?

Is it because Kabru's from the West? Do all the people in the West talk that way? Will the elves talk like that?

Since they didn't match Zon and Leed's way of speaking to each other I doubt they'll follow through with this...

If it's meant to make Kabru sound "tough", why does Kabru do it the entire episode and not just with the corpse retrievers? Why does he keep talking that way while talking to his friends?

Even if sounding "tough" is what he's trying to accomplish, Kabru wasn't really being tough in those scenes, he was being tricky and conniving... And then with his friends he was being curious and solving a mystery.

It's not the worst performance I've ever heard, but it's a change/addition with no basis in the original version, so as with Leed and Zon, I'm left wondering "why are you doing this? What are you trying to tell us about the characters?"

I'll have to go back and listen to Kabru's earlier appearances to see if he sounds the same in those, but I really don't remember him talking this way before...

Kabruuuuuu

[pochqmqri]

A few months ago, my copy of the "Limited Edition" Samurai Flamenco Complete Series Collection shipped from the UK, a release by Anime Limited.

As they are a UK-based anime distributor, their Blu-Ray discs are region locked to region code "B," which encompasses Europe. As such, I have a Blu-Ray player that is modified to be region-free, playing discs from anywhere in the world. I recommend buying one from this site, as you can get the best deals here.

Going over the product, despite the fact that it's labeled "Limited Edition," the release is pretty bare bones. It was also initially released back in October of 2021, and still remains available to purchase two years later.

Like most of Anime Limited's Collector's Editions, the release comes in a rigid slipcase illustrated with official artwork. The 22-episode anime is contained across 4 discs, evenly divided into two disc cases. Each case has a reversible slipcover illustrated with characters on both sides.

So let's talk about the contents of the discs. Although it doesn't say on the official website, there are three ways to watch the anime on this release: the French dub, the original Japanese with French subs, and the original Japanese with English subs (subtitles are the same as streaming, no subbed OPs/EDs/insert songs). These are a nice variety of options, but it would have been nice for a few more accessibility options for those who want it, such as the French dub having (dub-accurate) subtitles, and subtitles for those who are deaf or blind, as included with Anime Limited's release of "Looking for Magical Doremi" that I purchased earlier last year. There are a few extras on the discs, but those are just noncredit/blank versions of both opening and both ending themes.

Regarding the visuals, it should be noted that, when Samurai Flamenco aired on TV, it looked quite rough animation-wise. For the home media release in Japan, they made significant touchups here and there in each episode. From what I recall, the version that used to stream on Crunchyroll (before they removed it) was the original broadcast, while the one that streams/ed(?) on Funimation has the corrections. As there were quite a lot of corrections, I will link this post that does a in-depth look episode-by-episode of what changed between the two versions. Going back to Anime Limited's release, based on what I have seen and compared, I can safely say that this release uses the corrected footage, which I think most people can say is quite the plus.

I also want to clarify that this release does not contain any of the extras included with the Japanese home media release, such as the character drama CDs, soundtrack CDs, etc. All you're getting is a slipcase, the discs themselves, and creditless OPs and EDs. That's it.

To wrap it all up, despite the fact that this is a bare bones release, it is still a serviceable way to watch Samurai Flamenco. The anime has been taken off streaming services in the past few years, Netflix and Crunchyroll specifically, and as Manglobe went bankrupt years ago, the anime's future on streaming is bleak and uncertain. Anime Limited managed to secure a home release deal with Manglobe before they went under, so I've heard. Therefore, I definitely recommend owning a physical way to watch this underrated gem. Even so, Anime Limited has noted on their website that, as a limited edition release, they only have a limited number of stock, and once that runs out, they are not sure if they'll restock. So while it's been around for two years now, who can say for sure if it'll be around for any longer. On their website, it currently sells for £35 (approx $44.50 USD), but last year, Anime Limited held two sales that included this release, where in one sale, it went for as low as £8.33 (approx $10.50 USD). So, I also recommend you wait until their end-of-year holiday sale, I think it'll still be around then.

Anime Limited does ship internationally, but I want to warn you that there is a hefty international shipping charge attached. As I live in the US, it costs £25 (approx $32 USD), but I imagine that to more distant countries, it will cost a lot more.

[sophieinwonderland]

I've sent a copy of this to you and sysmedsaresexist, so that they can perhaps confirm that I'm on the right track and I'm hoping I can offer a different set of thoughts??

I don't think they (anti endos in general and sysmedsaresexist) are saying that Freud said *systems* are endogenic. I think the point is that Freud said trauma, dissociation, and whatever MPD fell under at the time (hysteria, I think) was endogenic.

The symptoms were endogenic, the causes were endogenic, the experience was endogenic, so systems not based in trauma and dissociation using the word is considered a bit... Off taste, I think is what they're saying.

The OSDDID community and dedicated researchers have worked really hard to prove that OSDDID ARE disorders based in trauma (whether that's the full truth or not), not fantasy or "endogenously" (or whatever related version of the word) created so I feel like I can believe and can understand why they might say acknowledging that connection would be nice.

This has sat in my drafts for a while, so with this discourse apparently coming back, I figured it was time to get to it.

(Yeah, no. I edited this draft and added that line when the discourse came up again, but STILL didn't finish it. Okay, doing it now! 🤣)

The thing is, I get that they aren't saying Freud only said this about systems... but Freud didn't even say that word.

Are we discussing the same word?

First, when it comes to harmful terms, generally the specific word is what's contentious. Many contentious terms and slurs are variations of neutral terms, and it's the usage and history what makes them harmful.

In this case, "endogenic" was not used by Freud. A German word was. And that word would more commonly translate to endogenous rather than endogenic.

And "endogenous" is primarily the term cited in the other cited papers. If the term endogenic was ever used at all in reference to systems before 2014, I haven't been able to find any evidence of that.

It doesn't make sense to say endogenic is a harmful term even if endogenous was. But that itself is a pretty big if because...

Endogenous is a generic descriptive term.

Yes, endogenous was used in some papers to refer to DID being caused from something internal rather than external. It's also used in the same exact way to refer to Schizophrenia and other illnesses having internal causes.

The word itself doesn't have some unique or special connection to DID.

At best, you could say that the term might be harmful in cases where it's misapplied. Saying that a system formed from trauma has an endogenous origin could be harmful in a similar way to, say, misgendering a woman as a man or vice versa. Neither man nor woman are harmful words but can be harmful if applied to people they don't describe.

But in the case of many endogenic systems, like cases of Schizophrenia and other health conditions or applicable neurodivergences, the descriptive term is accurate.

A system that was plural due to genetics, for instance, would be objectively endogenous.

It's an objective, neutral descriptor. And only one of a great many that was used this way.

Other papers don't use the word endogenous at all and just say DID had an internal cause. So is that off-limits too? Can we not use "intenal" in relation to systems? And if not, is there an acceptable way to express this at all that wouldn’t be twisted into something those trying to hurt the endogenic community will feign offense over?

Because if you're intentionally seeking out any instance of a word's prefixes or suffixes ever being used in a sentence in a way that could be considered harmful, in any language, you'll find a lot of words you can twist into an offensive term.

This Has Happened Before

Endogenic came about because the previous term, "natural multiple," was said to be offensive because it implied traumagenic systems were "unnatural." People pushing this argued that traumagenic systems were natural responses to trauma, and this was therefore offensive.

In my opinion, this was a bad faith interpretation when "natural" was likely meant to contrast systems forming from environmental factors, as in a nature vs nurture debate. A natural response to external factors is not the same as something being natural in this context. (Of course, this is kind of muddled when you have systems that are created or have supernatural origins. It's not a great term.)

Also, natural doesn't inherently imply something is good or bad.

But "natural" being a bad word caught on and there was a push to change terms. The word changed to endogenic in 2014, which had never been used for systems before. EVER. Then in 2021, along comes an anti-endo trying to attack endogenic systems who decides endogenic is actually an offensive term because Freud once used a German word that sounds kind of similar.

This Will Happen Again

If you humor bad faith arguments like this, it only emboldens them. If we changed our language again, it's pretty inevitable someone would claim whatever term we use is bad.

I mean, we see with the system hopping libel that they'll even resort to just making stuff up if they have to.

This IS a bad faith argument, and the best response is to treat it as such.

[staysafedontdie]

I thought I was free of BG3, but I was not.

(sorry Im not using the real app so it's not letting me edit correctly)

So, I made another Redeemed!Durge playthrough.

While my first one was narratively and cognitively dissonant, story-wise (an unusual looking Githyanki Bard, doing serial murdering in Baldur's Gate? Brushing elbows with powerful people? And no one noticed???) I decided to chalk that up to Bhaal being incredibly cocky. He has the old man voice and is much more tired than my current PC.

My goal with this updated playthrough was two-fold:

Make the ultimate Durge - constantly underestimated, can go anywhere, no one bats an eyelash at their presence.

Get Astarion as the first and only companion and using a specific guide (https://reddit.com/r/BaldursGate3/s/visFK1mKzl - top comment), get the scenes that I initially missed. (Most of the companion scenes are tiered/have priority, I think it's a combination of specific character and approval. Most often Astarion's scenes get overwritten by Shadowheart, Lae'zel, or Gale.)

So, my new character is a Female Half-Elf Bard (Sword Bard OP), with more traditionally Elven features, tanned skin, freckles, and light brown hair with a bit of blonde from sun-bleaching. She looks like the personification of the sun. Someone who's never gone a day without.

But she's also pretty, and forgettable -which is the important part. Other than the shattered dagger throat tattoo, a scar over her lips and the dagger earrings, she's just the girl next door. And since she's slight in build, she's constantly underestimated. It made for quick work to lure people to their doom.

the WORST part is that I've been writing blurbs between playing.

I've written over /16,000/ words. On my phone. Mostly idling in game, headphones on, listening to the ambient music. Or laying in bed. It's not even edited, it's just terrible stream of consciousness stuff.

I call the story collection 'Brief Moments in Time' and one of them involves my Half-Elf, Lysithea, having a core memory unlocked when Astarion is spouting lines at her during the Tiefling Party. Turns out she not only LIKES pick up lines, but also COLLECTS them. They were very useful for luring people to their deaths - like a less sexy version of what Astarion used to do for Cazador.

Here's the little memory flashback I have for her. The ending lines are meant to invoke that moment with the dying Mind Flayer you find at the crash site in Act 1. (Compassion??)

-----

The settings are vague, but the bustling environment must be a local tavern. She’s sipping ale quietly from a table that has a strategic vantage point. The occasional scratching of a quill in a book accompanies her gaze, making sure to take notes on would be targets.

But just over by the bar, she hears a drunken man say a fun pick-up line a little too loudly. Like Astarion she used whatever means she had to lure people away to their doom, and she pays attention to the honeyed words to try and see if they’ll be of some use to her.

“Are you a Gelatinous Cube? Because I feel like this encounter is going to end up with me inside you.”

Past the rage and the darkness that consume her, there’s a small bubble of… joy.

Joy?

-----

And then she spends the next little bit spouting lines at Astarion, which he rather likes because she calls him beautiful. And it's nice to be on the receiving end of such attention every now and again.

She's also aware the entire time he's using her, but doesn't care. She's got no sense of who she is, beyond a few small things, so she's using him as well for companionship and to help curb the urge and build new memories. After all, they're a lot alike.

UGH I JUST CANT STOP WRITING LITTLE GARBAGE THINGS ALL THE TIME. I HAVE BEEN CONSUMED. NOTHING REMAINS BUT BG3. please help me 😭

BUT!!

...In the future I want to do a Wyll run where I romance Karlach because I heard he goes with her at the end to Avernus anyway and they're so sweet to each other 🥹

[lastoneout]

I'm about to tell on myself so fucking hard but you know what I wish was a feature on A03?

So...nhentai gives every comic posted to it a number, right? And you can take just that number, nothing else, and type it into the site's search box and it will take you DIRECTLY to that comic. So when people on reddit or whatever want to post the source/talk about a comic they don't HAVE to post a whole ass link, they can just give you the number. Which is cool because links can be sketchy(there are a lot of fake nhentai sites that are just loaded with viruses and shit) and like, there are lots of other reasons people don't like clicking on random links/sharing them is hard(length for one). Just posting the comics barcode? I guess? saves all of that.

Plus something I have noticed is it's pretty fucking hard to find a specific fic if you don't have the link. Cuz just the title isn't gonna do you much good on A03 given how many fics all have the same/similar titles, and if you lost the author's name too you basically just have to dive headfirst into the fandom/ship tag and pray you find what you're looking for which SUCKS with big fandoms/ships that have like 100k + works. Which is actually part of why I think I've seen some people posting "I'm looking for this fic help" stuff as fics on A03.

(Edit: also with the common practice of orphaning and posting as anonymous on A03 sometimes the authors name doesn't do you any good either.)

So if each fic had/has a unique ID number it would be a lot easier to share them around so you'd be less likely to lose them, and you wouldn't have to worry about a broken link ect. cuz as long as you have those numbers you can find the fic again instantly.

And like A03 kinda has that in the sense that like, look, here's a link to one of my fics

It HAS those numbers at the end so theoretically if I knew a fics numbers I could just type in archiveofourown.org/works/(the number) and find the fic, but you can't actually use those numbers to search

So I don't see people like, normalizing sharing the numbers along with links cuz it's just a little too complicated.

But I mean just think, you find an old masterpost with hyperlinks to fics but the site has gone weird or the links broke or op deleted the post and the versions that still exist are all fucked up now something, and you're bummed cuz sure maybe they put the titles and fandoms and authors but for all you know the fics were set to anonymous or orphaned and either way that's a lot of searching, wouldn't it be nice if each listing also just had those numbers hanging out? And that way as long as you have so much as a picture of the post you can still find those fics. You don't have to save the post and hope it doesn't get deleted or go cram the stuff into "marked for later" right then and there, you can just hold on to those numbers. That sounds pretty nice to me!!

I dunno, maybe there is something I'm missing, but I was thinking about this bcs I have a bunch of new followers on Instagram who like this ship I make content for and I WANT to tell them I wrote a fic, but it's Instagram, you gotta post pics and doing a little info graphic feels kinda tacky? So I'm drawing something based on the fic to post, but then I guess I just have to put the link to the fic in the description or something, and I keep thinking GOD it would be so much easier if I could just post the numbers 38480276 and have that be enough for all of them to find the fic without scaring away people who don't want to click on random links/the awkwardness of just posting a link in general.

But yeah, that's my rant about the porn website doing it better bcs tbh sometimes they do and I think this being a feature or coming into common usage would be nice.

[measuringbliss]

you can't drop something that sounds as sick as cruciverbalist without explaining to me everything about the oc.

I might disappoint you since there's not much to say. He's an OC from April 2018, so at the time I was still... involved... in the D*ng*nr*np* fandom...

Anyway, let's talk about my cringiest era!

Bae-Je Sorel, half-Korean, half-French. Bae-Je (배겋 probably?) stands for... I have absolutely no idea, and it appears that it should be read Bae-Geoh so really, I'm just as confused as you are. Like, I apologize to anyone who vaguely knows Korean, this is... I don't know. ANYWAY.

"Sorel" comes from Julien Sorel, the protagonist of French classic novel Le rouge et le noir (The Red and the Black) by Stendhal, which I *haven't* read. I have no idea what this novel is about. I just thought (and still think) that "Sorel" is a nice sounding name. I think that's basically it. "Sorel" is pronounced just the same as "sorrel", which is a color similar to chestnut, hence the color being present in the pic above. Maybe there was also a link to "saumure" (brine) but... eh.

Basically, Bae-Je Sorel is what happens when you've been doing [insert cursed fandom name] roleplays for a while and you want to play again but, eh, maybe not, you don't feel motivated and years later you'll figure out that it's linked to your ADHD but for now, in 2018, you just... eh. That's it. So you stumble upon an interesting activity (creating crosswords), figure that it's fun and nobody else will pick *that* as the talent for their OCs (every D.R RP OC needs a specific talent).

Well, I don't even remember how much I roleplayed him. I half-assed his backstory and I just *know* I wasn't that interested in him.

Fun fact, here's the list of my D.R RP OCs by talent: Ultimate Suicidal Guy whose sprite was a modified version of a canon character, it was my first time doing sprite edit (the idea was that in a universe where characters killed each other, people were supposed to think he'd finally succeeded at doing it but surprise! actually he was murdered), Ultimate Opportunist (I played the previous guy and him at the same time because having your character murdered meant you couldn't play anymore, so we were allowed to have two of them which meant I had to juggle different devices because at the time Discord didn't really exist so we used SKYPE and it was A MESS. A BIG MESS. I'm talking "at first, use the same phone and just switch between two accounts anytime those characters do something, but the switching accounts takes a small while and by the time you're back, 150 messages have flown by" and later, "you use your Playstation Vita so that it's easier but it's still A MESS" let me tell you the Bliss of that time was SOMETHING) whose sprite was a barely modified version of Battler Ushiromiya, I think he actually had another, more official talent but I can't remember it but "Opportunist" was a ~secret talent~, I think after that I had another guy but I can't remember his talent for the life of me, I took his sprite from an unknown Japan-only PSP visual novel, then I had another guy who, this time, played a nice part in a RP, I used a fanart of Zen from Persona Q. That last character was a manipulator and I intended for him to be a killer from the start. He has, like, weapons or something in his watch. I think I got inspired by Light Yagami lol. Ironically, I think he was a victim. Oh well.

So I'm pretty sure Bae-Je was my last D.R RP OC. Or maybe the penultimate one.

I do have other OCs, because I worked for about 4 years on a fangame for that same universe, but I eventually officially gave up on making it in 2021, I think. The characters were much better than all of those above, thankfully lol

Oh, by the way, his pose imitates the one a character does in an anime opening of D.R. You see those characters fall and I thought it was a very striking image. Actually the whole OP is amazing so if you're curious, here's a link for the first version and for the second version (actually there's 3 versions from what I remember but it's about small changes).

...Dear Lord, didn't expect to write all that. Oh well.

[lovellelolita]

CUTSEW 015 // Lolita JSK Pattern Review

DISCLAIMER: I am a total sewing noob. You might have better luck, or maybe even worse luck than me with this pattern. And everything here is just my opinion, which you don’t have to agree with.

TLDR: Extremely beginner friendly, like seriously. It’s amazingly easy to complete. But also comes with a decent amount of issues, some that can get in the way of completion.

Plus-size friendly, I think. I'm not sure if I’m qualified to speak on that, since I’m not technically plus sized, I’m just a guy of average build wearing clothing sized for women. But I think I can say it’s ->

AMAB-chest friendly. I don’t have boobs or want to pad, so you’ll have to find somebody else’s review if you want to know what that situation is like.

Passable (up to your interpretation) presentation, but ->

A bit too simple and lacking in detail (for my tastes) of what a Lolita dress should entail. You’ll have to know what you’re doing if you want to expand upon it. 

I mean, at some point you might as well just draft a pattern from a GLB if you’re that good, you know? Not me though.

Should you buy this pattern? mmmmmm I really don’t know. I’m pretty conflicted. But if you think the pros outweigh the cons and can learn from my experience with it and the suggestions that I make in my review, then maybe you’ll have a better time.

Glossary

Preface, Experience, Materials, and CUT/SEW

Photos [X] [X]

Bodice Section [X]

Skirt Section [X]

Whatever Else and Conclusion [X]

Preface  The only JSK I own is Souffle Song’s Strawberry Rabbit Halter JSK, so that is what I will be comparing this to, along with references to other JSKs and dresses not in my possession.

Is it unfair to compare a professional commercial product and a handmade garment sewn by a complete novice using a pattern from an indie company? Probably. Are the expectations I have for myself, of feeling like that is the standard I should be reaching, unreasonably too high?  Definitely.

But I think that if you plan on sewing your own Lolita dresses, I highly recommend that you already own a commercial one as a frame of reference beforehand. It’s important to get a feel for what makes a Lolita dress feel nice and work well, and you really understand when you have one in person.

Experience I bought and used this pattern during my senior year of high school. I had no extensive prior experience using a sewing machine or garment making, but the pattern was insanely, extremely easy to follow and use. This is the first and only pattern I had ever bought and used, so I have zero experience with actual, what-you-would-find-in-a-store sewing patterns.

It was very easy, EXCEPT for the fair amount of construction-related, garment-ruining issues along the way. I’ll get into that a bit later.

I have used this pattern 5 times. I have made five mock JSKs, remedying each issue I came across on the next edition.

Tip: Do not do this. This is dumb, and a waste of time, money, and materials. I now have five unwearable JSKs I don’t know what to do with, but don’t really want to tear up either (because I am lazy) and also because the material I used was Joann's cheap-ass Polyester Symphony Broadcloth, which isn’t exactly the most...serviceable of fabrics in general anyways.  Materials Sooo…I haven’t actually made a final version yet. With nice fabric and nice lace and stuff. I’m just busy and also scared. This is important to remember, because my only examples are all shitty shitty prototypes of what the final is supposed to end up like.

Like I said, I used Joann's cheap-ass Polyester Symphony Broadcloth (I had bought 20 yards for like 40$ or so, for the explicit purpose of making mock-ups of the JSK, but now feels incredibly wasteful). Wearing the dresses for long periods got really hot and uncomfortable, but I also feel like that wearing SoufSong’s SRH JSK and Gift Box OP. Not to generalize, especially as somebody with only two Lolita dresses, but maybe all Lolita fashion is just like that. I used an invisble zipper and interfacing for the bows and waist ties. I did not want to waste lace on the first four proto-s because lace is expensive, but I practiced on the 5th. I’ll probably show you all if I remember too, because taking pictures is hard.

CUT/SEW (Controversies and Promotional Images) CUTSEW drama here. I don’t really have anything to add. https://20dollarlolita.tumblr.com/post/190088519573/20dollarlolita-reply-to-this-post-where-i

But I do have some commentary to add about their awful promotional images.

These model photos. Are really bad.

The outfit isn’t the entire problem. Denim jacket, footless legging, and clear boots. This outfit is not Lolita, that is entirely correct. They say in the description it’s a JSK pattern inspired by Lolita street fashion. People are allowed to wear Lolita garments in a non-Lolita fashion. It’s then definitely not Lolita, but you can still do so if you so desire. (I do not condone using it in inappropriate situations obviously. I can’t believe I even have to say that.)

But if you’re selling a pattern titled LOLITA JSK, would it not make more sense to cater towards the expected audience of the pattern (people who want to sew something that passes as Lolita) in your promotional photos for the product? By presenting an outfit that meets the criteria? Which brings me to the dress in the photo itself. Strangely enough, it doesn’t look like they followed their own instructions, in the most literal manner. They tell you to fold the ruffle strip in half in the instructions. Their ruffle looks weirdly long here because (my guess is) they didn’t do that, and just serged the edge instead. I can’t see a (sewn in) waist tie at the side seam, and they don’t use the instruction-recommended widths for the lace trims. Then there’s the fabric choices. Holographic ruffle, scratchy lace, and weird black “shadows” on the pink fabric I cannot identify the cause of. Choices were certainly made here. And no petticoat. I feel like most Lolitas would want to know how the dress looks with one on? The least you could do is that pose where you pull the skirt to the side to reveal more surface area to give the impression of fullness.

But more importantly, the most important thing… I can’t see jack shit. I do not have a clear vision of what the end result will look like, due to the 3/4th angle poses, harsh lighting, and denim jacket obstructing the view.

I took a gamble on the end product ending up looking like the illustration on the cover. I should probably not have to do that because promotional pictures are supposed to show you what it will look like in the end. And I kind of sort of need to be able to, you know, actually see that. (BTW don’t even think about getting on my ass about how my own pictures look like shit while I criticize them for having terrible photos. It might be a double standard, but please consider that I don’t have professional cameras, proper lighting, or anybody to help take pictures of me with.) (Wait, did they have a pro photographer? Well, they still had another person and an actual camera, so my point kind of still stands)

[poohsources]

there’s no question that photoshop is one of the biggest and probably most commonly used programs there is to make graphics.  but unless you find a way to obtain it somehow, it’s not exactly cheap.  there are some ways to get it for free but that’s not what i wanna talk about today.  instead, i wanted to make this post to give some free alternatives you can use for your roleplay needs.  i haven’t tried all of them myself ( because i do have a free photoshop license so i’ve been sticking with that for years now ) but i’ve done some research and decided to share this with all of you. 

―  PHOTOPEA

photopea is an online editor that’s actually strikingly similar to photoshop both in terms of looks / layout and features.  of course it doesn’t offer all the things photoshop does but i’d say it gives you basically everything you need for your basic roleplay needs.  you can import and export psds ( and other popular file formats ) and make icons and various graphics including gifs.  now the great thing about photopea is that since it runs on a website, you don’t need to download any software and it is usable on all devices ― windows and mac, android and ios.  it’s smooth and quick and ( if you know a bit about how graphic programs usually work ) pretty self explanatory. 

PROS:  no additional software needed / mobile friendly / can open and save psd files / easy to edit pictures / features various adjustment options and effects and filters and brushes / pretty much a ‘small photoshop’

CONS:  ad banners can be annoying / no timeline feature ( that’s used for certain things, e.g. batch editing icons ) / you need a stable internet connection

―  GIMP

again, gimp shares some features with photoshop although it can be quite overwhelming once you open the program for the first time just because it’s all very cluttered and it takes some time to get used to.  it’s probably a good tool that lets you do lots of things but if i’m honest i never really got into it so i can’t say all that much about it.  it doesn’t seem too bad though.

PROS:  available on windows, mac, and linux / can open and save psd files ( although it may potentially corrupt files if you wanna open them in other programs again ) / features various filters and brushes / open source so there are lot of resources for plugins

CONS:  ui outdated and cluttered / not exactly beginner friendly / uses a different color profile than photoshop so imported psds can look weird

―  PIXLR

another web based program that works and looks similar to photopea but doesn’t offer as many features that you’d probably need for roleplay graphics.  i’m still listing it here because it does seem to be a nice and easy editing program if you just wanna do some more or less simple things that don’t require tons of layers and blending and whatever.

PROS:  no additional software needed / mobile friendly ( although the mobile version is different from the computer version ) / features various adjustment options and filters and brushes / you can open psds ( but they might look weird )

CONS:  you need a stable internet connection / no masks and no grouping of layers and no timeline feature / some tools are slow / ad banners can be annoying

―  PHOTO POS PRO

i can’t say much about this one because i wasn’t able to test it myself but from what i’ve gathered it seems to be a good photoshop alternative that offers a lot of different features.  it also works with layers ( and is capable of using masks ) so that’s always a plus.

PROS:  has different layouts for beginners and experts / offers tutorials / features various adjustment options and effects

CONS:  only available on windows ( and mac if you use an emulator ) / export file size limits / can run slow at times

so that’s it.  there are probably even more alternatives you can find with the help of a simple google search but these were the ones i could find that seem to work best when it comes to making graphics for your roleplay.  if you ask me, photoshop is still the best options in my opinion ( probably because that’s what i’m most used to ) but i do understand not everyone is able to get it so i really hope this post will be useful for some of you.  just try out what works best for you and as always, if you have any questions do not hesitate to ask.  i’ll try to answer them as best as i can.

[icicledream-archive]

part 2 of portal robot size post

(because i am still obsessing over this)

continuation of this post where i posted this image which is a screenshot from this video showcasing the size of portal 2 characters. and also i included my height of 5′3 for fun!

the post got a comment basically saying “model sizes don’t always = canon sizes” and that is indeed true! especially given how the game seems to handle how things look when they’re picked up. personally i can find these sizes believable, especially comparing them to how big glados appears in robot repair vr.

anyways, i’ve been thinking about that comment a lot! like i said, i personally find all these sizes believable, but i wondered how much different they would be if i resized them based on certain robots with canon measurements: atlas and p-body!

these blueprints are shown in portal 2 co-op loading screens! i specifically chose the blueprint of atlas facing the right because the front facing version’s head size seemed to include the frame that holds it, which added little over an inch.

ALSO, this was just something i did for fun! please don’t treat this post as the Definitive Portal Character Sizes Post. personally, as much as i love how huge the in-game model sizes are, i’m going by my resizes from now on because while they’re still decently big, they’re a lot more manageable to draw lol.

if you DO want to use this post as a reference to their sizes, by all means go for it! :D  credit isn’t necessary, but it would be nice just because of how much time i spent on this ;w;/

the rest of this post will be under a read more due to its length!! as a tl;dr, here’s a direct comparison image!

feel free to share your own thoughts and whatnot if you would like!! ^v^ just a few more things before i continue...

THERE WILL BE A PRETTY BIG PORTAL 2 SPOILER GOING FORWARD!

i bolded character names + their heights because it was easier for me to read :o

i did all of this in.... gmod..... because i couldn’t find all of the models i needed, and i couldn’t be bothered to rip models from a freakin’ source game. SO i just, carefully lined everything up in gmod to the best of my ability and took screenshots, which i edited in my art program!! i’m a bit of a perfectionist, so hopefully things aren’t toooo far off... but yeah, just a heads up.

i’m, really bad at math, so not everything will be 100% accurate, especially the full glados size measurements. i used the website mrinitialman and a lot of measurement calculator websites to be sure things seemed alright. still, if there’s errors i apologize!

ANYWAYS let’s go!!

SO, here’s a new size comparison image i made. sorry if my writing isn’t readable! i’ll be restating the important things written on the images as this post goes on ;v;/

p-body is around 6′7.5″ (201.9cm), atlas is around 6′1.3″ (186.2cm).

for chell i decided to go with her height from her heels rather than from her tiptoes. she’s still pretty tall at 5′11″ (180.3cm)!

wheatley’s model is around 2′7″ (78.7cm) in diameter, which is hilariously big and i love it BUT it’s probably not what his actual height is. same goes for the turret’s 4′10″ (147.3), and glados’ head being around 6′10″ (208.3cm) (i do wish these were the For Sure canon heights because glados' full model being ~50' (15.24m) long is so very funny to me. Giant.)

i’ve seen a few people say that atlas and p-body may be based on personality spheres and turrets respectively, and i like to think so too! so i resized wheatley and the turret based on those two. also, considering that wheatley’s model size stays the same size when he is on glados’ body, i resized them at the same time, as their sizes are relative to each other.

anyways with that, here’s my resize!!

as i said: wheatley (and the other cores, of course) ends up being the same size as atlas’ head, so that makes him around 1′8.4″ (51.8cm) in diameter!

the turret ended up being around 3′10.5″ (118.1cm) tall.

glados’ head is around 4′6.4″ (138.2cm)! which makes glados head + body around 18′1.4″ (5.5m), and her entire model around 34′2.8″ (10.43m)! (btw for reference, movie theater screens are generally 30′ (9.14m) tall!!).

aand that’s it for my resizes, really! :O like i said earlier, this is what i'm personally gonna go with for my headcanons and whatnot.

that’s not the end, though. when i went back into gmod to get a screenshot of chassis wheatley, i somehow noticed for the first time that there’s just. straight up smaller models of a core and glados’ head, so i thought “eh! why not!” and measured those out to the best of my ability! here’s the results of that. 

the smaller gmod core model is around 1′3.8″ (40.1cm), and glados’ head is 3′3.6″ (100.6cm)! this would make her head + body be around 13′2.4″ (4.02m), and her entire model around 24′11.3″ (7.6m)! i imagine this is what the “actual sizes” of cores and glados would be? who knows though!

with all of this being done, here’s the quick direct comparison image again :D

oh and also for fun, here’s portal 1 glados’ head compared to the portal 2 glados head models and the resize i did! i always thought the portal 2 glados in portal 1 mod looked weird, turns out it’s because her main p2 model is much bigger than her p1 model!

and well! i don’t really have anything else to say, so that’s the end!

like i said, this is NOT the Definitive Portal Character Sizes Post ;o; i did this entirely for fun!! and even if this was the Definitive Portal Character Sizes Post, you can do whatever you want with these characters and their sizes! but again if you would like to use this post as a reference then by all means, go for it!! :D again, credit isn’t necessary, but it would be nice just because of how much time i spent on this... 

ANYWAYS thanks for reading!!! :D

[marshmallowgoop]

Update to this post about where to find textless openings and endings for Detective Conan/Case Closed!

To my knowledge, I now own every music album containing a bonus DVD with clean footage that's been released at this time (save for the Detective Conan edition of the "TRY AGAIN" single, since that content is also included in The Best of Detective Conan 5 and Mai Kuraki x Detective Conan Collaboration Best 21).

So, I can definitively confirm: across the nine DVDs, you can find creditless versions of 27/55 openings and 32/65 endings. You can also find clean movie endings for five of the films—5, 6, 7, 13, and 21—but there's a bit of a catch. For the two Mai Kuraki songs used both as TV and movie endings, "always" (ED 12, Movie 5) and "Togetsukyō ~Kimi Omou~" (ED 55, Movie 21), you don't get a textless version of the show ending. The videos depict the movie ending only.

That creditless OPs and EDs (generally) aren't included on the literal hundreds of volumes that the series is sold in, which each contain only the runtime equivalent of about four episodes and sell for 4,620 yen apiece, still baffles me. But given that one of Discotek Media's highlights for their recent Lupin the 3rd vs. Detective Conan: The Movie Blu-ray was "a clean opening sequence not available anywhere else," I guess providing this content just really isn't DetCo's thing.

And while I admittedly bought close to a dozen albums pretty much solely to get my hands on the textless footage included on a separate disc, you do of course also get a lot of music—a fact illustrated to me in crystal-clear clarity when I finished importing all of the CDs to iTunes:

Granted, these are some bloated stats; they also include The Best of Detective Conan 3, which I purchased to fill out the collection even though it lacks the bonus DVD, and there are 13 duplicates of Mai Kuraki songs if you buy every album pictured above. But subtracting all of that, there are still 77 Detective Conan or Conan-adjacent songs and about 5 hours and 24 minutes of music. If the 1,000+ episode count and 25 movies don't do it enough, these numbers put into perspective how massive this franchise is! Enough OPs and EDs that only a portion of them fill hours.

And make quite the fat stack:

Anyway, I can't say that this was my preferred method of picking up creditless footage—ideally, I would have liked it all included with the dozens upon dozens of Japanese Conan DVDs sitting on my shelves—but I am glad that you can purchase this content somewhere. Plus, you get loads of music, and the packaging can be quite cute, with some nice extras here and there, too.

For example, The Best of Detective Conan 5 comes bundled with three adorable music-themed prints; I think my favorite might have to be this one with Shinichi on guitar and Conan on harmonica (though the one with Ran playing piano and Conan singing is a close second!)

And for the "Countdown" single, there's a pin featuring one of three scenes from the opening sequence. Mine's this Heizuha moment, but I wonder what the other two are?

I also have to say that Mai Kuraki's stuff is wonderfully charming. The disc designs are pretty and pleasing; the "Barairo no Jinsei" and "Kimi to Koi no Mama de Owarenai Itsumo Yume no Mama ja Irarenai" album contains one disc adorned with a rose and another with the moon, fitting the lyrics of both songs:

And while "ZERO kara Hajimete" translates to "Start from ZERO," call me silly—I didn't make the connection to Shinichi's speech in the "Holmes' Revelation" arc until I saw the disc with the English translation and Conan's face next to it:

Also, what a cute back cover:

So, yeah! If you're looking for creditless DetCo OPs and EDs, buying these nine albums is one way to find a nice chunk of them—and get you a ton of music to boot!

[evakant]

hii francesca 💖 your gifs inspired me to give gif making a try and I was wondering if u had any resources on getting started by any chance 👀

that is genuinely so wonderful to hear! i have been making gifs for so long i'll admit i'm not up to date with new tutorials, but let me see what i can do — if anything is unclear in them you can always come ask.

honestly? while it's easier to follow everything down to a t when starting, you'll quickly realize that not only can you switch it up, it's usually better when you do. and then, slowly, you'll have your own way of doing things that, by virtue of being tailored to you, will make giffing much easier and much faster. you'll end up being a collection of all the things you like best from tens or hundreds of different tutorials around the web, which means that if something in a specific post doesn't work for you, you should simply look around for a different tutorial for the same thing and try again. there's so many ways of doing one (1) thing on ph/otoshop so don't get discouraged if what you attempt the first, second, third time doesn't work right away.

if it counts for anything, t's been a decade for me and i still think all my knowledge is pretty basic

anyway, @itsphotoshop has always been and will always be a treasure trove of information. i remember starting from here when i first started with pho/toshop. there's nice, easy tutorials. good psds (colorings) that you can download and use (or, like me, download and pick apart like a mad scientist so that you can figure out exactly what layers people are using to make their beautiful gifs, that's how i learned at first! just looking through people's psds and trying to understand how they made it all come together)

this tutorial is pretty recent and, from what i understand, very well received by new-gifmakers. reading through it i can see why since most in-depth tutorials are a bit dated. personally, i do quite a few things differently from op but, like i said, in ps there's a million ways of achieving the same thing and this is a great post for beginners.

let me backtrack a second. we're not made of money here, are we? right, right. so you might want to get your hands on this post, and actually start from there. and since i can see op has edited the post since i last visited, let me tell you that the version i use i got from here. we don't have to be twins, but just in case!

oh, this post has also excellent tips from getting nice, clear gifs (though tumblr butchers the quality for most of us, so again don't get discouraged if a gif of yours looks wonderful in ps and then not that great on tumblr. you'll learn as you go where the happy middle is, between you and this hellsite). the big thing is and will always be: get high quality video. depending on what size you want your gifs to be, you might be able to settle for 720p but personally i always go for 1080p (there's higher quality too!). also, know your sizes (the post linked has them listed <3)

ah, what else what else.... i don't want to overwhelm you. at first, it's good to simply read a bit from the basic tutorials on the blog i first linked and kind of get an idea of which features you'll be using the most. if you need anything specific, i'm more than willing to help although though i still go about it the same way i did years ago and there's so many better + amazing gifmakers around that have this all down to an art lmao

regardless, i'm happy to share any tips or tricks. i'm just not the most eloquent bitch around so you might have to suffer through the worst worded tutorial in the world but i can't do anything about that

if any of my lovely gifmaking mutuals want to share anything for our friend here, please do!

edit: oh, wait! just in case it might be useful. i personally use potplayer for taking screencaps <3

[pain-in-the-butler]

it’s late, I’m bored, time for Hunger Games Simulator Kuroshit Edition Episode 2

Day 1 Cornucopia highlights

Sebastian’s just like “aight time to clean”

it’s gonna take more than that to help you now, bud

they might be too pure for this

rip grandpa

Will also said “fuck it, cleaning time”

Agni brings out the right hand of god for bread, Randall gets the broken nose he’s deserved for a while now (he did win the last Hunger Games, to everyone’s disappointment)

O!Ciel hoping to hibernate it out

TERRIBLE NEWS EVERYONE, OUR GIRL IS DEAD ALREADY

Phipps, Macmillan, Finny, Lizzie, Soma, Abberline, Undertaker, Edward, Bard, Ronald, Othello, Mey-Rin, and Grey all got away from the cornucopia safely. Some of them got weapons, but the game doesn’t record what weapons people have and what they don’t, so whatever people picked up doesn’t really matter

Day 1 highlights

HARCOURT CAME TO FUCKIN PLAY YA’LL

gdi Randall, we just lost three of four girls in one fell swoop, I hope you bleed out from your broken nose and die

Ronald says we aren’t allowed to have nice things

Other highlights:

Day 1 Arena Event: Borders Close In

Edward punishes Agni for his bread crimes

Hunger Games simulator is actually just a rare pairs simulator

pretty upset that Harcourt died so soon, it’s always kind of funny when he gets the chance to become a cold-blooded killer

and there goes our last lady (though now that I think about it, I should probably sub in Lao and Ran-Mao)

Day 1 and we’ve already lost Lizzie, Mey-Rin, Bard, Tanaka, Soma, Agni, Sieglinde, Grell, Othello, Phipps, Abberline, Randall, and Harcourt

This leaves us with only eleven survivors: O!Ciel, R!Ciel, Sebastian, Edward, Finny, Undertaker, Wolfram, William, Ronald, Grey, and Macmillan

Night 1 highlights

the boys are like “better make the best of a bad situation by creating the next Kuromyu”

Macmillan had the same idea, but he’s alone, and no one’s favorite character is Macmillan

alternate title: R!Ciel and Undertaker traumatize Edward and Finny so badly that they can’t sleep

O!Ciel’s sitting on his food cache like a fat dragon guarding its hoard of treasure

Wolfram is unable to sleep, but Grey builds himself an entire camp and presumably gets plenty of beauty rest

Day 2 highlights

Macmillan refuses to kill the shorter, two-eyed version of his friend. Meanwhile, R!Ciel is already dead

Ciel’s almost too in character as he waits for the enemies to come to him while he does whatever the hell he wants

they’re just blond boys doin what blond boys do

other highlights:

Wow, no deaths today, so it looks like it’s camping o’clock

Night 2 highlights

black ops Macmillan says never trust anyone, not even the side character who exists to set up exposition

why do I feel like Wolfram will regret this

well, at least we know he didn’t burn down the manor

R!Ciel: I’ve reclaimed the manor, my title, and my girlfriend. What are you gonna do about it? O!Ciel:

other highlights:

Alas, poor Will

Day 3 highlights

R!Ciel is really out here like “I’m incapable of dying, just try to kill me and you’ll see” but no one believes him

the food king discovers he cannot be sustained on food alone

Grey does the gentlemanly thing

Wolfram says “my death scythe now”

Other highlights:

and so day 3 comes to an end with this final roster

we’re fortunate enough this time to have things wrapping up with both twins and Sebastian still alive, which keeps things interesting. However, Macmillan is also here, and the randomizer could turn him into an absolutely feral killing machine. Nothing is sacred in Hunger Games Simulator

Night 3 highlights

looks like someone couldn’t find that water source

another man cleared of arson

fast, hungry boy and strong, hungry boy bond over being hungry

still not entirely certain Macmillan knows he’s helping the wrong twin

the only wounds he's gotten are from the thorns while picking berries.......

fair enough my man

The Feast highlights

Somehow the frail, decrepit perpetual ten-year-old managed to defeat the powerful demon and grim reaper armed with a lawn mower. Did I mention nothing is sacred

Day 4 highlights

Macmillan and Finny both spared R!Ciel, but as soon as Macmillan asks for death, Finny’s like “you got it champ”

meanwhile the brothers are squabbling but what else is new

imagine if we got to a point in the manga where the roster actually looked like this 3wijaor;jiwa

Night 4 highlights

so I guess somehow Grey has cemented himself as Enemy #1 and the boys put aside their differences so they could have a slumber party with the remaining blond boys

Day 5 highlights

Older blond boy kills younger blond boy in a truly devastating example of blond boy crime. Meanwhile, O!Ciel add medical supplies to his growing collection of goodies, and Grey says “ooga booga” at a child

Night 5 highlights

it’s like the start of the Blue Cult arc all over again

Day 6 highlights

Did R!Ciel just die really anticlimactically?? Also, O!Ciel becomes a perfect combination of McGruff the crime dog and Smokey the Bear and says no to fires

Night 6 highlights

Hunger Games simulator returns to being a rare pairs simulator. Somehow O!Ciel has acquired an infection, and R!Ciel is definitely dead

Day 7 highlights

O!Ciel, Grey, and Wolfram take a page from the Public School Arc’s notes and don’t do anything interesting for a while

Night 7 highlights

Wolfram gets medical supplies but refuses to use them on his new boyfriend. O!Ciel's canon energy is stifling

Day 8 highlights

O!Ciel receives a weapon he won’t use. Grey tries to make something happen. Wolfram goes spelunking

Night 8 highlights

O!Ciel’s canon energy continues to rise to dangerous levels, but Seb’s too dead to hear him make orders. Wolfram dies, and if this were the manga, you know our boy wouldn’t stand a chance in hell against Grey

Day 9 highlights

IT’S THE HUNGER GAMES SIMULATOR AND NOTHING IS SACRED

god look at that shit-eating grin. Ciel managed to make it through the whole thing without killing anybody and he knows his ass would be grass if Grey hadn’t gone kablooey. unbelievable. our grand champion, everyone

[maxismatchccworld]

Patch Notes

Update 10/06/2020 PC: 1.67.45.1020 / Mac: 1.67.45.1220 Console: Version 1.32

¡Bienvenidos!

We are celebrating Hispanic Heritage Month with some new base game content inspired by the vibrant Hispanic cultures around the globe. Sit back with your Sim family and enjoy a lovely barbecue featuring flavors from Mexico, Argentina, Dominican Republic, and more! You’ll be able to deck out your backyard with a colorfully painted dining set, decorative pots, murals, a new grill, and please don’t forget about the bougainvillea-clad pergola to provide some shade for your Sims.

We’ve also partnered with renowned Chicano artist Mister Cartoon to bring you some Create A Sim content in his distinctive style. He recreated your favorite Freezer Bunny with a sassier look but also gave us a beautiful butterfly design that represents peaceful migration. Look out for tops in feminine and masculine styles for children and adults. Also, we couldn’t partner with a tattoo artist and NOT give you a tattoo, so check that out too! You can also read more about our Hispanic Heritage Month update

here

.

In addition, you can read about the work we are doing to address skin tone improvements

here

. The first steps of which are part of this release - we did a thorough investigation of our skin tone pipeline (how it gets from artist to player), to identify where we can improve our process. For this release, we found that the skin detail layer compression was one of our primary culprits for the blotchy artifacts and ashy appearance of darker skin tones. We have uncompressed those textures by default. That work, along with the option to uncompress Sim textures will result in better visuals for your Sims in game. The linked blog will provide further details on those options.

We have also updated the look for two of our base game hairstyles. Those specifically being yfHair_LongBraidedPulledBack and ymHair_AfroMedium. As stated in the blog, this is not the end of these improvements, but only the first steps. Expect more from us, and of us.

-SimGuruGnome, SimGuruDana, and SimGuruRusskii

Now onto the fixes:

Sims 4

Fixed an issue in which external garbage cans were constantly being filled up when not having Eco Lifestyle installed. It is a good thing to be conscious of our overall everyday waste footprint but there is something to be said about too much trash that is… seemingly uninvited.

Sims will now use the dining table to eat again. Sometimes if I’m in a hurry, I grab a meal on the go and don’t sit down to eat, but sometimes you need to sit down and enjoy a nice meal, you know?

You pay your new bills, all the new bills, keep track of all the bills. We think you can do it. So, hope you like this update too as we have adjusted Lot Taxes to be more appropriate per Lot.

Fixed an issue in which the message “Not Expanded to Ops” would appear while in Build Mode and would hinder gameplay. If this is the behavior with “Not Expanded to Ops” I don’t want to see what “Expanded to Ops” looks like, unless it is a good thing, but let’s not get carried away.

Had a good talk with Sims that had neglected their duties with their Toddlers. They can go back to Potty Training and Read to Sleep to their little angels.

Fixed an issue in which Favorited Items in inventory were being reset when editing Lots through Manage Worlds.

Sims that were transferred to other Households will no longer reset any Household settings like Bed Assignments. Reading about this issue and trying to imagine it, brought me to this:

<insert dramatic music> “What do you want?” “It’s not that simple!” “But… <sigh> What.Do.You.Want?!” “Just because you moved out, and you are suddenly back in our lives doesn’t mean you can disrupt everything ok? I had my bed, with MY NAME ON IT!” “OK“ <end dramatic music>

A new foe has appeared! A challenger approaches! Error 124:2951a73 enters the fray… and is properly squashed. Good luck next time Error 124:2951a73… Well, don’t come back so... farewell!

The Lin-Z Smart Speaker has been updated to now play the Focus and Metal stations.

Island Living

Fixed an issue in which all non-decorative rocks disappeared after traveling from different Lots. Was it the work of impostor rocks? Igneous looks especially shifty. Sus.

Discover University

Fixed an issue with the ICYA Chest in which it appeared locked after Sims moved from one Household to another. My precious! Mine!

Eco Lifestyle

Fixed an issue that reset Bits and Pieces when Sims moved to other Households. No uh, if you move, move but leave my Bits and Pieces within my Household thank you very much.

The Community Voting Board is no longer listed as a DEBUG item, no longer has a defective thumbnail, and can be placed within the Lot.

Civil Designer Sims can now complete Work from Home Assignments.

We have rebuilt the Store No More Home Fabricator so that it doesn’t break at least once a day. All returns are subject to warranty inspection, no Simoleons were harmed in this endeavor.

We spent some time tasting… I mean... monitoring yes, Sims’ behavior in regards to Cooking and Baking Cakes pretty much non stop. We managed to correct said behavior, but hopefully, we won’t lose access to the delicious goods.

Outdoor Retreat

Fixed a routing issue that prevented Sims from extinguishing engulfed Sims that are sitting by the Campfire. Gives a whole new meaning to “Warming up by the fire.”

Dine Out

Fixed an issue with Restaurant Menus that made them appear blank or corrupted. Blind tasting menus in real life are a thing, but I don’t think that is what this issue wanted to convey.

Fitness Stuff

We have added the Focus and Metal station as an option for Earbuds. Have you claimed your free Earbuds yet?

Tiny Living

The Media Marathoner All-on-the-Wall, and the Media Marathoner now have the option so Sims can perform Air Guitar. Yearrrrgggg.

Moschino

Fixed an issue with keys [Q] and [E] when used with the Tripod, now those keys should move the camera up and down freely. Strike a pose!

[johannas-motivational-insults]

You are a shockingly textbook abuser. Using mental illness as a battering ram against other people's healthy boundaries is literally evil. You've probably been blocked by thousands of strangers at this point who recognize from that post how toxic you are. I hope for the sake of the people around you IRL that you "spiral" into therapy.

Oh good, nice to see that old post is making the rounds again.

First thing you should know is I apologized to the op because I misunderstood their intention in that post. If you click through my reply on the post you’ll see that it’s been edited to say “please don’t reblog this, my response was inappropriate.” I also wrote a separate post to apologize and explain what I actually meant. But regardless of intention I shouldn’t have said that in reply to someone else because I had no idea what they were dealing with.

I am not the only one who misunderstood somebody, unfortunately. The op took my words out of context in the reply they gave, which seems to be what people are responding to. I can see how they interpreted my response the way they did, but I was never saying you should have to tolerate people who make you feel unsafe. In fact, I said in that post that you should block people if you need to for your mental health. I was referring to people blocking for fun or as a power trip... I have seen several posts about how fun that is and a general trend towards blocking with zero provocation and I wanted to caution people that it can have effects on other people that they are unaware of. If I had known op also deals with rsd I wouldn’t have gone into that in detail - it was intended to be educational, not guilt trippy.

Unfortunately when you post something on Tumblr, once it’s been reblogged that thread stays in that version even once you’ve edited it, so for all eternity people are going to see that and assume I meant something different unless they click on my reply, which will lead them to the edited version (and the link to the apology/explanation, should they wish to read it). It’s not one of my prouder moments, but it’s also not what everyone is now interpreting it as because of the way op responded.

On a more personal note, I’m actually a pretty outspoken abuse survivor and it’s hurtful that you would assume I am the kind of person I hate based on one post. To be honest, I’m tempted to make a lot of snide remarks in return. But I learned from this experience that judging people to be malicious based on one thing they said because of something that provoked an emotional response is not fair. Given the fact that you were so moved you were willing to say this to me off of anon, I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you are probably someone who has been bullied/harassed online or been in an inescapable situation with an abuser. If that’s the case, I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with that. I have too. I spent much of my childhood being bullied and ostracized for being neurodivergent at school and being abused at home. Lucky for me, I’ve started to heal and grow somewhat of a thicker skin. I hope that if you are indeed in a bad situation like that, you’re able to get out of it and heal from that trauma. It’s not easy.

[slytherinbarnes]

Sub Rosa [76]

v. the gospel of josephine

Pairing: Bellamy Blake x reader

Word Count: 6.1k

Warnings: angst, anxiety, language, angst, drugging.

Summary: Something’s rotten in the state of Sanctum, and you’re hopeful you’ll soon find out what.

a/n: i officially finished writing and editing sub rosa yesterday! i can’t believe we are nearing the end of this journey! the taglist for this series is open! I hope you enjoy, please let me know what you think!!!

previous chapter // season masterlist // series masterlist

You wake up with a strong feeling of unease.

It’s strong enough to pull you out of sleep, strong enough to leave you feeling on edge for most of the morning. You don't know why or where it came from, considering the incredible night you had the night before, but it lingers around you, making you anxious. It’s strong enough that Bellamy notices and questions you about it, looking worried because you seem worried, but you reassure him that everything is okay, despite feeling like the opposite. 

You eagerly head downstairs once you and Bellamy are ready, accounting for all of your friends and family, except for one. 

Clarke. 

That sends your nerves into overdrive, but Bellamy reminds you that she was having fun with Cillian the night before, and they left in a fury of passion, meaning she probably slept at his place. He convinces you to let it go and not worry just yet, before the two of you sit down at the bar with Murphy. He’s already drinking, despite it being pretty early in the day, and you follow suit, throwing back a shot of some awful alcohol as soon as you sit down beside him. He turns to you with an appreciative smirk. “Now that’s what I’m talking about. I like this version of you.”

You and Bellamy both answer, “Quiet, Murphy.”

He raises his hands in surrender, sliding the shot in his hand over to you, which you take with a nod of thanks and quickly throw back, the liquid burning as it moves down your throat. The boys both order something to sip on, and you sit between them, waiting for the alcohol to dull the sharp edges of your nerves. Eventually Jordan comes wandering into the bar, babbling something about Delilah being unlike herself, and when you all look at him in confusion, he takes a breath and says, “Something about Delilah seems off, so I brought her some daisies and gave them to her, reminding her that she told me daisies are her favorite flower. She took them without arguing, agreeing that those are her favorite.”

Bellamy shakes his head, still confused. You watch his curls bounce as they move, bringing you an odd sense of comfort. “So?”

“So, yesterday she told me her favorite flowers are Calla Lilies.”

Murphy smirks and looks over at you and Bellamy, “Calla Lilies are nice.”

Bellamy holds his gaze before they both start giggling, but you keep a straight face, listening to Jordan’s fears, wondering if it has something to do with your unease. “I'm serious, something happened in that reliquary. It's like she doesn't even know me. “

Bellamy advises, “Just play it cool, she'll come around.”

You snort, thinking of Bellamy’s version of playing it cool with you, which involved a lot of anger and insults, leaving the two of you at odds until you were in direct danger of dying. He looks at you with a small smile, “What?”

You hide your smile and answer, “Nothing.”

Murphy adds onto Bellamy’s advice with a shrug, “Yeah, that and, like, maybe don't get flowers for a one night stand.”

You hear the door to the tavern open and you spin around quickly, a rush of relief washing over you when you see Clarke standing at the door. You and Bellamy wave to her, and you start to relax, until you see the guard standing near the door, clearly keeping an eye on your twin. Your unease comes rushing back again, reminding you that something isn’t right, though you still don’t know what. 

You see Madi jump up from her seat when she sees Clarke, running over and hugging her, speaking to her quickly before she runs off with a smile, grabbing her pack. You slide out of your seat when you see Gaia abruptly stand and step in Clarke’s way, and you start to move over to them, Bellamy following you, both of you catching the tail end of Gaia’s lecture to Clarke in Trigedasleng. “Wof em teik em nila reya? O, em’laik, ge jok op kom fayaslais?”

What if she skins her knee? Or, I don't know, gets a paper cut? You gather enough to guess that they must be talking about Madi, and Clarke glances at you as you approach, looking conflicted. You come to a stop beside Gaia, looking between them before your eyes land on your twin. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, fine. Where are the others?”

Bellamy, up to date on everyone's whereabouts, answers first, “One of the Primes is showing Raven and Emori how to build a radiation shield.” 

“Ryker?”

Bellamy nods, “Yeah, I sent Echo and Miller to watch their backs.”

Clarke turns to look at you, “And our mother?”

You sigh, “Still in the library. Jackson said he found her sleeping with her head on a book.”

Clarke nods, and then turns to Madi, who’s lingering nearby. “Speaking of books, let's get you to school.”

You and Gaia immediately start to argue, and you step closer to your twin, whispering low enough that only she can hear. “Clarke, what the hell? You just said yesterday it was too dangerous for Madi.”

She steps back with a smile, waving off your concern. “Chill out, she'll be fine.”

You give her a look of complete bewilderment, shocked to hear the words come out of her mouth. Even weirder, the tone of her voice sounds different, slightly higher pitched than normal. You turn to look at Bellamy, wondering if he’s catching onto her weirdness, and his brows are pulled together in confusion, but he looks more amused than anything. You, however, are not amused. You turn your gaze back to Clarke, repeating her words back to her. “Chill out?”

She shakes her head, not understanding your confusion. “What?”

You stare at her open mouthed, trying to figure out what to say, but Bellamy puts his hand on your arm, stopping you. He just smiles at Clarke, clearly enjoying this new side of her. “Nothing. We both just think that happiness looks good on you. I take it you had fun with the doctor?”

“Cillian?” A look of amusement passes over her face. “Let's just say it'll be a while until he recovers.”

You give her another weird look, unused to hearing anything about Clarke’s sex life. The two of you are close, but that’s not something either of you have ever really discussed. Hearing about it now, even in joke form, is strange. She doesn't seem to notice, because she starts to walk away, but you reach out and grab her arm, stopping her. “Wait, what’s up with the guard?”

“Apparently, people with blood like mine are a target. The Primes insisted.”

Blood like mine? You’re about to interrogate her further, but she pulls herself free from your grip with a smile. “Gotta go, don't want Madi to be late!”

And then she turns and heads towards the door before you can even make a sound of protest. Madi waves goodbye to you before she slips out the door, and you just stand frozen in place, dumbfounded. You’re pulled out of your shock when Gaia starts to rush past you and Bellamy, her pack in hand. Bellamy holds out an arm to stop her. “Gaia, slow down. Madi will be fine.”

You and Gaia both turn to look at him like he’s lost it too, and Gaia instantly argues, “Fine? They gave Clarke a bodyguard for being a Nightblood, and she just sends Madi to school?”

You’re interrupted by Blythe Ann, Delilah’s mother, walking over to the three of you, a tray on her hand. “Can I get you guys anything else?”

You shake your head, ready to finish your conversation with Gaia and Bellamy, but Jordan interrupts from his place beside Murphy. “Ma’am, can I ask you something?”

“Only if you call me BA.”

“What happened to Delilah last night?”

She freezes a little, and you can see her fighting back a wave of emotion as she robotically answers, “Our little girl became one with the Primes. You were there, what's wrong?”

Bellamy tries to stop the conversation before it gets into dangerous territory and threatens your fragile peace. “Ah, nothing's wrong.”

But Jordan answers her anyways, too determined to learn the truth, no matter what it may cost him, or the rest of you. “She's acting like she doesn't even know me, that's what's wrong.”

“Oh child, I miss her too. Priya's return blesses us all.”

She chokes out the last sentence, a forced smile on her face, before she turns away from all of you. Jordan walks closer to your group, looking very confused. “Priya's return blesses us all? What does that even mean?”

Gaia snaps back, “It means that they believe in something. That faith should be respected.”

She turns and stalks off, presumably to keep an eye on Madi, which you’re thankful for. Right now, Bellamy can sense the growing tension, and he turns to Jordan with a look of sympathy. “Jordan, we're guests here, and we need their help. I'm sure whatever happened between you and Priya-”

Jordan cuts him off, looking annoyed. “Delilah. It happened between me and Delilah. I know you think you need to protect us all because you couldn't protect Octavia, but I can take care of myself.”

You see a look of hurt pass over Bellamy's face at the mention of Octavia, but he doesn't get a chance to say anything in return, because Jordan turns and stalks off, leaving the two of you in the tavern. You reach out and squeeze his hand in comfort, but then your unease washes over you, reminding you of its presence, and you shake your head, looking out the door of the tavern. “Clarke seems off.”

Bellamy gives you a doubtful look. “She seems fine. Happy, even.”

“She told me to chill out, Bellamy. When has Clarke ever said chill out? In fact, when has Clarke herself ever chilled out?”

“She probably just picked it up from the doctor.”

“After one night?” He shrugs, and you cross your arms over your chest, challenging him. “Okay, and what about what she said about the guard? ‘People with blood like mine’? Why wouldn't she say blood like ours? Or Nightblood?”

Bellamy just shakes his head. “She probably just misspoke. I know you’re on edge today, but everything is fine, la lune.”

You give him a surprised look and whisper, “You never call me la lune.”

“Is that okay? I’ve always felt like it was a family only thing, and I didn't wanna assume-”

You cut him off by reaching out and pulling him into a kiss, silencing all of his fears. You pull away enough to say, “Yu laik ai seingeda.”

You are my family. His face splits into a grin and he whispers back, “And you are mine.”

“Good.” You step back a little, looking up at him. “This better not be the end of blainen natshana though. I like that nickname too.”

“It won’t be, I just like to have options.” You laugh, shaking your head at him, your earlier unease temporarily forgotten. Bellamy takes advantage of the moment and nods towards the bar. “I got access to a map earlier today, you wanna look it over?”

“Sure.”

He walks over to the bar and grabs the map, rolled up and waiting, along with Murphy, dragging him over to a little table to join the two of you as Bellamy unrolls the map for all of you to look over. It’s pretty bleak, most of the map labeled as uncharted territory, which Bellamy mentions. “200 years, this is all they mapped.”

Murphy muses, “Why leave when you're safe, right?”

You turn to Murphy with a smirk, “Oh, come on, Murphy. Where's your sense of adventure? We're pioneers!”

“I don't want to be pioneers. Pioneers find the red zone and wind up dead, or get caught in randomly occurring, psychosis inducing eclipses. You really want to go through that again?” Bellamy absentmindedly grazes the stab wound on his thigh, and your fingers ghost over the bruises on your neck. Once he’s sure neither of you want to experience that again, Murphy adds, “I've been asking around. Apparently, this whole thing's built on top of cave systems. The bugs start to freak out, the party goes underground.”

Bellamy shrugs, “Right, so we find our own cave system, and Raven builds us a radiation shield. Murphy, we can't stay here forever. And even if we could, what about the other 400 of us?”

Murphy looks ready to argue Bellamy’s point when the intercom in Sanctum fires up, announcing the start of a funeral. You all pause and listen, and as it finishes, Blythe Ann calls out to the three of you, “Rose is being offered to the woods. All of you are welcome.”

“Thank you.”

Murphy glares at Bellamy. “Don't even think about asking me to go to that funeral. Seriously, take Jordan. It'll get his mind off of being dumped.”

You all look around the tavern, searching for him. “Where is Jordan anyway?”

Bellamy sighs, rolling up the map as he looks towards the door. “I think I know where he is, come on.”

You start to follow Bellamy when he steps away from the table, but Murphy stays firmly rooted in place. Bellamy glances back at him, reminding him of your earlier joke. “Hey, suit yourself. But if he gets us kicked out, you're a pioneer.”

Murphy rolls his eyes and stands, following you and Bellamy out of the tavern. You all watch as people file towards the stairs to head into the woods, and Bellamy waits until no one is looking your way before he leads you over to the palace, careful to weave between buildings and stay hidden. The three of you run up the hill to the palace, but instead of going up the stairs to the main building, you jog to the door on the bottom level, the one that leads to the reliquary. When you reach the door, the keypad is hanging off, the wires exposed. “Like father, like son.”

Bellamy pushes the door open slowly, hesitant, checking to make sure no one is waiting for all of you on the other side. Once he sees that it’s clear, he slips inside, motioning for the two of you to follow him. You step into a large room, mostly dark, save for the light that comes through a window in the center of the room, casting an eerie glow on the room full of...skeletons. You get a chill down your spine, bringing back your unease in full force as you look at the skeletons lined up in the center of the room and Murphy mutters, “You gotta be kidding me. Which part of ‘I hate dead people’ did you not understand?”

“Quiet, Murphy.” Murphy gives Bellamy a look but goes silent, but you shake your head, agreeing with Murphy. “Bellamy, I don’t like this.”

Bellamy gives you a reassuring look before he calls out into the room, “Jordan, we know you're in here.”

Jordan steps out of the shadows, looking at the three of you, and Bellamy shakes his head. “What the hell are you doing?”

“What you would've done, the you before Praimfaya anyway. That was my favorite Bellamy.”

The door behind you suddenly closes, and you look towards it in shock, eyes falling on Gaia. You nod, “You too?”

“They worship Nightbloods. I'd like to understand why that is.”

Murphy quips, “I'd like to leave. There's no way I'm getting thrown out of the one safe place on this moon because you got dumped.”

Gaia starts to wander over to the skeletons, looking at them closely, while Jordan disappears to the back wall, looking it over. You, Bellamy, and Murphy all linger near the door, not too eager to get closer to the skeletons, when the door slides open again and Clarke steps into view. Her tone is scolding as she looks you all over, “This is Sanctum's holiest place, you shouldn't be here.”

You give her a weird look, wondering why she gives a shit about Sanctum’s holiest place, and she must catch it because she gives you a sheepish look. “I'm sorry. I just, uh, I saw you on the steps.”

“Does that mean your bodyguard could too?”

She nods, “Good point, let's take this outside.”

But Gaia argues from her spot nearby, “Not yet.” You look over at her, watching her run a finger over the back of one of the skulls, her expression one of awe. “The mark of the Flame? They're all Commanders.”

You exchange a look with Bellamy before you walk over to the skeleton, seeing the infinity symbol imprinted on the back of the skull. You think of your first day in Sanctum, of the flag Emori pointed out to all of you. “That's why the symbol was on the flag.”

Bellamy starts to walk among the skeletons, coming to a stop in the center of the room, looking around at them. “The ones in the front row must be the original Eligius team, there's 12 of them. Oh, and they take kids.”

Clarke counters, “Familial love is a powerful motivator. People will do anything to ensure the survival of the ones they love. Now let's ensure our survival and get the hell out of here.”

You all start to step towards her, intending to leave, until you hear the scrape of a door opening. When you follow the sound, you see Jordan standing at an open door, and you all walk over to join him, flicking on a light inside the newly exposed room. You get another chill when your eyes land on an operating room, fresh Nightblood staining a pile of gauze near the operating table in the center of the room. Murphy eyes it with unease. “Operating room attached to a crypt. Really?”

Jordan spots something and rushes inside, grabbing a pile of pink fabric, neatly folded and placed on a table. He holds it up for the rest of you to see, “She was here. This was Delilah's, I'm sure of it! Still think I'm overreacting?”

You all step into the operating room, and Bellamy looks your way as he begins to think out loud. “Okay, let's think this through. Becca created the Flame after apocalypse one. She obviously provided the tech to Eligius III before that. That means that-”

Gaia cuts him off, voice full of realization. “They're not Commanders.”

You look at your boyfriend, fighting back your growing anxiety. “So what the hell are they?”

Jordan spots a computer on the other side of the room and makes a beeline for it, plopping into the chair and firing it up. “Let's find out.”

You all gather around him as he starts to type away on the keyboard, and Murphy jokes, “Monty taught him how to hack too. That's my kind of parenting.”

Jordan clarifies, “No hacking needed. The Eligius systems all use the same access code.”

He types in the access code, clicking on a few things until he pulls up a list of video files. You quickly scan the names of the files, pointing out one that sounds promising. “Eureka, try that.”

Jordan clicks on the file, and a bearded man appears on the screen in full view. Behind him is a second man, much older, and a young woman tied down to the operating table that stands behind you. You watch the man take a deep breath and begin, “Here we go again. Today's subject is Brooke, Earth embryo 47. Presents with black blood; 21 Earth years old, 22 doing time in the incubator.”

You and Bellamy exchange a look as the other man encourages, “You can do this, Gabriel. Twenty five years of work, the failures. This is the one.”

Gabriel continues, “If I'm right, the reason all previous metempsychosis trials have failed is because the host's neuroanatomy was not developed enough to support the file size of a mature human mind.”

File size of a mature human mind? You hate the sound of that, and you glance over at your twin, searching for the unease you’re sure she must feel. You’re surprised to find her expression passive, not yet concerned with the events on screen. You turn back to the screen as you hear the girl start to struggle, watching as Gabriel injects something into her arm, and she eventually grows still. You all watch in horror as Gabriel stands staring at the screens around the room, monitoring scans of the girl’s brain, muttering about different areas going dormant. Jordan’s voice is a quiet whisper when he chokes out, “Did they just kill that girl? Did we just watch someone die?”

None of you answer, too enthralled with what’s on the screen, because now the two men are holding up a small piece of hardware, reminding you so much of the Flame. “The body's ready.”

And just like the Flame, they insert it into the back of her neck, though they don't use any passphrases. They just cut the girls neck open and insert the tech inside before stitching her up again, and then they sit back and wait. Jordan skips through the video a little, the two men waiting for a while, playing it again as the young girl blinks awake slowly and the older man calls out, “Something's happening, she's waking up. Josephine, can you hear me?”

At the mention of the name, you go completely still, looking over at your twin, remembering what she told you yesterday. But still, her expression is impassive, seemingly unshocked to hear the name. When she senses you looking at her she meets your eyes, her expression turning to one of worry once you lock gazes. You mutter to the others, “Josephine was Russell’s daughter.”

You turn back to the screen as the girl lets out a blood curdling screen, and you turn back in time to watch her fall off the operating tables and scramble back into the corner. Gabriel drops in front of her, moving slowly, trying to soothe her, and he finally whispers, “I've spent the last 25 years trying to bring you back.”

The other man tries to get close to Josephine, but she presses herself into the glass at her back, trying to get away. Gabriel starts to soothe her, whispering, “It's okay, it's okay. It wasn't his fault, it was the red sun.”

“The eclipse, I was right.”

Gabriel nods, “Yes, you were. It turns out it affects more than just insects.”

Josephine seems to think for a minute, before a realization hits her. “Our memory drives. You reverse engineered them to upload our entire minds. That's brilliant!”

You look at Bellamy, both of you looking horrified as you start to put the pieces together. On screen, Josephine hugs both men, but you ignore it, too focused on looking at your twin, trying to gauge her reaction. But when you look her way, she just seems lost in her own head, a faraway look on her face. You reach out and take her hand, bringing her back to you as Gabriel concludes, “The key is a fully developed brain. Once the adult host's consciousness is gone, the mind stored in the drive uploads with ease. Now, we still have loads of tests to run, but so far, Josie's consciousness, herself, appears to be whole. In other words, eureka. More soon.”

And then the video ends, leaving all of you staring at the screen, stunned. Murphy is the first to break the silence. “They're immortal.”

Jordan counters, “They're murderers. They murdered Delilah.”

Clarke shakes her head, looking at all of you. “It's not murder if they go willingly.”

Jordan’s anger rises, his voice breaking as he yells, “Did that girl look willing to you?!”

Gaia adds, disgusted, “That's how they made it better, easier, by manipulating people into believing they were sacrificing themselves to some false gods. 'Becoming one with the primes' like Delilah's mother said.”

“Well, so much for respecting their faith.” You all look at Murphy in shock, and he adds, “I mean, no offense. You let a bunch of kids fight to the death to become your God.”

“Murphy, that's enough.” Bellamy turns to your twin, who has now dropped your hand and stepped away a little, silent. “Clarke, you're okay with this?”

“Well, I didn't say that. I just don't think they pose a threat to us, that's all.”

You turn to her incredulous, not understanding how she isn’t more bothered by this. “Clarke, they literally pose a threat to you because they know you're a Nightblood! And based on what we just saw, I'm thinking that's the only reason they let us stay!”

Gaia starts to step away, face pulled into horror as she moves to the door. “Madi.”

You feel a wave of nausea roll over you at the thought of your Nightblood niece away from all of you, potentially in harm's way. Gaia looks at you, “I have to get her before they find out what she is.”

You nod, letting her know you agree, and Clarke calls out, “I'll go with you.”

As she starts to walk past you, Bellamy says, “Bring her back to the tavern so we can decide what to do.”

Clarke nods, and you watch her leave, following Gaia, before the rest of you step back into the creepy skeleton room, now understanding that these are all the bodies from the previous hosts. Jordan stands in front of the one labeled Priya, looking absolutely devastated. “These are all her.”

Bellamy looks towards him, his voice low. “Jordan, I'm sorry I doubted you.”

Jordan nods, silently accepting his apology, before Bellamy adds, “Log out of the system, we need to cover our tracks.”

Jordan heads back into the lab to hide any evidence that you were even here, and the two of you turn to Murphy, who lets out a sigh. “I hate to say it, but I agree with Clarke. This isn't our fight.”

You give him a confused look. “You still want to stay?”

“I want to live, only these people know how to do that forever, as it turns out. That wouldn't suck either.”

Bellamy shakes his head, pretending he isn't hearing what he's hearing from Murphy. “Reattach the keypad outside the tunnel. We're right behind you.”

Murphy looks at him for a long second before he nods and steps out the door, leaving you and Bellamy alone in the center of the room. You look at each other, unease surrounding you both, your boyfriend appearing just as anxious as you are. “Right now, they only know Clarke is a Nightblood. We need to make sure they don't find out about you and Madi. It’ll be much easier to keep Clarke safe if she’s the only one we need to protect.”

You nod, tears welling up in your eyes as you think about the danger the three of you are in, now at risk of being body snatched by a group of people you could care less about. “I’m scared, Bellamy.”

He pulls you into his arms, holding you tight against him as he whispers into your hair, “I am too, but I’ll keep you safe.”

You both pull away when you hear Jordan come out of the lab, turning off the light and closing the door behind him. You give him a serious look, “Everything taken care of?”

“No one will ever know we were here.”

“Good.” You look at the skeletons, circled around you like a small army. “Then let’s get the hell out of here.”

The three of you slip out of the door and join Murphy outside, the suns of Sanctum now set, darkness now blanketing the village. You realize now all of you must have been in there for a while, and you hope no one noticed your absence while you were gone. You, Murphy, Bellamy, and Jordan all head back to the tavern, opening the doors to find everyone has returned from the funeral held for Rose. You grab one of the larger tables, plopping down into a chair while the boys grab drinks, setting them around the table before settling into their spots. Bellamy slides into the chair beside you, both of you pressed together, seeking each other’s comfort to keep your unease at bay. Gaia, Madi, and Clarke come into the tavern a few minutes later, joining you at your table. Clarke sits at the head and Madi sits across from you, while Murphy sits across from Bellamy and Jordan and Gaia sit at the other end. 

You fill Madi in on everything you’ve learned since seeing her last, letting her know how much danger all of you are truly in. Clarke sits silently through the whole thing, allowing you and Bellamy to catch her up, and at the end of the rundown, Madi turns to Clarke, noticing her silence. “Clarke, you realize staying says we're okay with what they're doing.”

“Yeah, and what's the alternative?” You all look over to Murphy, who takes a sip of his drink before continuing, “Go back to space? Sleep for another hundred years on our way to a planet even less likely to support life?”

“Build our own compound. Emori, Echo and Raven will be back in the morning. They'll know everything we need to build a radiation shield. After that, it's just hard work.” 

Murphy counters, “Over how many lifetimes? No, seriously, how many eclipses? How many swarms? How many terrorist attacks?”

Clarke nods, “I agree with John.”

You look at Clarke, brows pulling together. John? Never in the time since meeting Murphy have any of you called him John, other than Emori and your mom. But Clarke continues speaking like she didn't just say the weirdest thing you’ve ever heard. “I don't like who they are either, but we need them to survive.”

You glance at Bellamy, who is watching Clarke closely, and you spare a glance at Murphy, who also picked up on the weird name drop moment. You shake your head at her, looking at Clarke like you have no idea who she is. “What the hell is wrong with you? You’re way too calm about this, Clarke.”

She opens her mouth to answer, but Jordan, who has had his eyes locked on Priya across the room, speaks before Clarke can get the chance. “They're murderers, raising people to give up their bodies, brainwashing them into believing they're gods.”

“He's right. It's a perversion of everything Bekka Pramheda believed. The Flame was about passing wisdom on to the next line, not keeping it all to yourself.”

Murphy, ever critical of the Grounder religion, counters, “Yeah, well, no offense, but Becca wasn't a god either. She was a scientist who made herself a Nightblood in the lab the same way Abby did to Clarke.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Clarke freeze up a little, shocked by the words. You turn to her, about to ask what’s wrong, when Jordan suddenly bolts from the table, practically running over to Priya. You and Bellamy jump up after him as he snaps at the Prime, “I know what you did.”

You and Bellamy each grab one of Jordan's arms, holding him back and warning, “Hey, bad idea.”

Jae looks at Jordan with concern. “Is everything okay here?”

“How can you be okay? She was your child.”

Priya seems to understand what’s happening, because she turns to face Jordan head on. “I know you miss Delilah, hallowed be her name. But she's happy, Jordan. She wants you to know that.”

The words freeze Jordan up just enough for you and Bellamy to drag him back to the table and force him into his chair. As you reach the table, you see that one of the chairs is now empty, your group missing one person. 

Clarke. 

You look around the tavern, eyes falling on a blonde haired person slipping out of the building without another word. You turn to Bellamy, your voice low enough for just him to hear, and you whisper, “Something is wrong with Clarke, and she’s walking out of the tavern right now. We have to talk to her.”

He nods, backing you up, and the two of you jog to the exit of the building, stepping out into the cool night air, searching for Clarke. Bellamy spots her first, walking just ahead past a row of buildings, and the two of you walk quickly behind her, calling out, “Clarke!”

She turns around, stopping in place, looking at you with concern. “Everything okay?”

Something inside of you tells you to answer in Trig. You don't know why, but you listen to the voice, answering, “Flish em of. Osir gaf in chich yu op soulou. Kom nau.”

Get rid of her. We need to talk to you alone. Now. She looks at you for a long second, face blank, and you glance at Bellamy, finding that he is just as confused. Clarke was fluent in Trigedasleng long before the rest of you, thanks to her three months of isolation after Mount Weather, and it’s never taken her so long to translate before. But she finally does, turning to look at the guard that lingers nearby. “Give us a minute.”

The guard stands up straighter, indicating that she’s going nowhere, and Clarke sighs and motions to the building beside you. “Fine, we'll go in here.”

You and Bellamy follow her inside, turning on her as soon as she closes the door. “Where were you going?”

“To see our mother. What's wrong?”

You shake your head at her. “How are we on different sides of this?”

“I know how they survive seems harsh. But from what I've seen, these people are happy. Their world works, we destroyed ours.”

Bellamy gives her a hard look. “This isn't about us.”

“So we can judge them but not ourselves?”

“You know I judge myself every day.” Bellamy looks over at you, his eyes telling you he’s going to test a theory as he walks closer to her, answering in Trigedasleng. “You want to know the difference between us and them? Ai sin in feis-de kom keryon ai don rip klin ona flashpa, nou ona fleta.”

I see the faces of the people I've killed when I dream, not in the mirror. Clarke stares at him for a long second, and then she asks, “I'm sorry. Can you repeat that last phrase? It sounds like Flashpa means flashback. So was it a dream?”

You freeze in place, the sudden roar of blood rushing in your ears the only thing you hear. You look at your twin, the pieces suddenly falling into place. The uneasy feeling you’ve had all day, the weird language, strange behavior. Bellamy connects the dots too, because he grabs Clarke and slams her into the wall of the building, pinning her in place with his arm at her neck. “Who are you?”

She surprises you by stabbing him in the neck with something, and you watch Bellamy fall to the ground, your stomach sinking with dread. You run over to him, calling out, “Bellamy!”

You drop down to Bellamy’s side, eyes catching the rise and fall of his chest, your fingers reaching up to his neck to check his pulse. You sigh in relief as it thumps steadily beneath your fingers, and your brain registers the feeling of danger seconds before you feel a prick in your neck. Clarke drops something near your feet, and you get a glimpse of it as you start to fall, some sort of Sanctum tranq stick. You hit the ground beside Bellamy, panicking when you realize that you can't move, cant speak, can't scream. Your body is frozen for real this time, triggered by something in the sedative, and the only thing you have control over is your eyes. You see darkness creeping up at the edge of your vision, and your eyes are wide with fear as Clarke’s face drops into your line of sight, a smile on her face as she answers Bellamy’s earlier question. “Josephine Lightbourne, nice to meet you.”

You feel a rush of crushing anguish, and if you weren't temporarily paralyzed you're sure that you’d fall apart, letting out a scream that would break this entire moon in half. Tears immediately flood to your eyes instead, blurring your vision as the darkness rushes closer, your mind running over one thought over and over. Once the adult’s consciousness is gone. Josephine Lightbourne, nice to meet you. Once the adult’s consciousness is gone. Josephine Lightbourne, nice to meet you. Once the adult’s consciousness is gone. Josephine Lightbourne, nice to meet you. 

The last realization you have before you get sucked into the darkness is that Clarke Griffin, your sister, your twin, your shining star, 

is dead.

Gone forever. 

-

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