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worryinglyinnocent · 2 years

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Fic: Diverging Paths (4/31)

Summary: Xerxes falls and the only two survivors walk away from the dead city.

Homunculus is keen to make the most of the new human body he now wears, and he goes out into the world, still planning his ascension to godhood as he strips away his vices and turns them into homunculi.

Van Hohenheim believes he has become a monster, and he hides himself away, befriending the other abominations of the world, failed human transmutations doomed to agonising half-life without the intervention of a Philosopher’s Stone.

Years later, Homunculus meets Trisha Elric and sires two sons with her before vanishing into the night, whilst Hohenheim tries to foil his doppelgänger’s schemes.

Years after that, Edward and Alphonse Elric are caught up in the middle of it all…

A Father-Hohenheim role reversal switcheroo, following Mangahood’s main plot with elements of ‘03, based on the premise ‘what if Father was Ed and Al’s father and Hohenheim was the one hiding under Central?’

Rated: Teen

[One] [Two] [Three] [AO3]

Four

“Well, you can’t deny that we’ve certainly had an adventure over the last couple of weeks. Homunculi in Dublith, the Fuhrer turning up, Xingese ninjas in Rush Valley.” Ed paused. “Hopefully we’ve seen the last of them, though. I don’t know why Ling decided it would be a good idea to come with us.”

Al laughed.“ Yes, it’s definitely been eventful, but I’m not sure how much of that we could put in an official report to the colonel.”

“Meh.” Ed waved aside his brother’s concerns. “We don’t have to tell him anything, and he won’t be expecting us to report back for a while. We’ve got time to think up a cover story. Who knows? Lieutenant Colonel Hughes might even help us with that.”

They turned into the street that led to Central Command and stopped dead.

“What the hell happened here?”

Ed looked down the street, taking in the damaged building facades and the tree branches everywhere. City maintenance workers were brushing broken window glass off the sidewalks, and although it wasn’t a scene of utter devastation, it was clear that something major had happened in the street last night.

“It looks as if a tornado hit,” Al said.

“It did.”

Ed startled on hearing the colonel’s voice beside him. Mustang was surveying the carnage grimly, and he held out the morning’s newspaper to Ed.

“Colonel Mustang? What are you doing in Central?”

“My transfer was finalised a month ago.”

“Oh.” Al paused. “Congratulations. Are the rest of your team here too?”

Ed left Al and Mustang to their conversation and skimmed the paper. Scar Strikes Again: Fifth State Alchemist Murdered. Lieutenant Colonel Abigail Sherman, the Whirlwind Alchemist, was killed last night…

“So, Scar’s back, huh.”

“Yes.” Mustang nodded towards Central Command. “Now that you’re back in the city, arrangements will need to be made for your protection. Shall we go and discuss it? I assume that you were going to report in, since you were heading in that direction.”

Ed narrowed his eyes but didn’t say anything, following the colonel along the road towards the command building. He thought about the last time he and Al had had a protection detail, and what had happened then. They’d ended up opening a massive can of worms, and now it was open, they couldn’t get any of the worms back in. All they could do was just keep following the trails. That was hard enough as it was, but being under guard would make it even more difficult. He wondered if they’d assign Brosh and Ross again, and he felt kind of sorry for them at the prospect.

On the other hand, if Scar was operating here in Central where there were so many more State Alchemists to go at, most of whom had, unlike Ed, actually been involved in the Ishval war, maybe that would get him off the hook.

They met Lieutenant Hawkeye in the entrance to Central Command.

“Hello Ed, Al. I didn’t realise that you were back in town.”

“We finished what we needed to do down south and we came back to tie up a few loose ends,” Ed said. “We were going to check in with Lieutenant Colonel Hughes.”

At the mention of Hughes’ name, Hawkeye and Mustang exchanged a look, and even though Ed would admit that he was not the most astute person in the world, he could not miss that look. He raised an eyebrow.

“What’s going on?”

“Lieutenant Colonel Hughes is…” Hawkeye began, but Mustang cut her off.

“Lieutenant Colonel Hughes is not currently stationed at Central Command.”

Hawkeye all but glared at her superior, and Ed’s eyebrow remained raised.

“OK… Where is he, then?”

Neither of the officers replied, both of them seeming to be having a conversation conducted entirely in ferocious facial expressions.

“Let’s talk about this elsewhere,” Mustang said eventually, looking around the open foyer of the command building and gesturing for Ed and Al to follow him. He moved on ahead apace, and Hawkeye sped up to catch up to him, the two of them talking in hushed but urgent tones. Ed couldn’t make out what they were saying, he was having to jog to keep up with them as it was, but he heard Hawkeye say something along the lines of they’ll find out the truth soon enough and they won’t thank you for lying to them.

“Brother?” Al whispered. “Do you think something’s happened to Mr Hughes?”

“It definitely sounds that way.” Ed’s stomach turned in knots. If something had happened to Hughes as a result of everything that he and Al had found out in the fifth laboratory, the threads that they had started to pull on, and Hughes had helped them to pull on, and Bradley had warned them away from pulling on…

He felt sick at the thought, thinking of Gracia and Elysia and the warmth and hospitality that the entire Hughes family had shown them on their arrival in Central, not making anything of Al’s appearance, not expecting anything from them, just accepting them as they were.

Hawkeye ushered them into Mustang’s office and shut the door behind them, checking the corridor for eavesdroppers before taking up a position by the door, standing guard.

Mustang settled himself behind his desk and indicated for Ed and Al to take a seat. He gave a long sigh, and Ed could tell that Hawkeye had won whatever argument they’d been having through the corridors.

“Shortly after you departed Central last month, Lieutenant Colonel Hughes was attacked by an unknown assailant. He received multiple stab wounds and he was shot at close range.”

Ice flooded Ed’s veins at the thought. “Is he…”

“He survived the attack; a passer-by called an ambulance and performed first aid. He’s still alive, but he’s been in a coma since that night and he hasn’t regained consciousness.”

Ed took several deep breaths, trying to calm his racing heart. Hughes wasn’t dead. He wasn’t ok by any stretch of the imagination, but he wasn’t dead.

“Ed, Winry went straight to the Hughes’s.” Al’s voice was high and urgent, betraying exactly the same kind of frantic fear that Ed was feeling. He jumped to his feet, the scrape of the chair legs along the floor grating in his ears, and ran for the door; Al followed hot on his heels. Hawkeye sidestepped to let them out. They had to intercept Winry; they had to tell her what had happened…

“Fullmetal!”

He ignored the colonel yelling after them as they left the room and rushed off in the direction of the Hughes home. Several frantic knocks at the apartment door told them that there was no one home, and Ed took a step back, stumbling and landing hard on his ass as the adrenaline finally started to wear off. He smacked the floor in frustration. This shouldn’t have happened. This was all his fault.

“Brother?” Al crouched down beside him. “Are you ok?”

Ed sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah. No. I don’t know. It’s all so stupid and pointless, and it’s all my fault. If we hadn’t been looking for the Philosopher’s Stone, if we hadn’t gone to the fifth laboratory, if we hadn’t met those weirdos…”

“If it’s your fault, then it’s mine too,” Al said plainly. “We’re in this together. We’re doing all this together. Don’t blame yourself. I don’t blame you.”

Ed remembered their conversation on the hospital roof, and the catharsis that had come with the air being cleared and knowing that Al did not blame him for his current state. He accepted Al’s hand to pull him back onto his feet and he brushed himself down.

“They’ll probably be at the hospital,” he said. “We should go and see.”

Al nodded his agreement and they set off again, this time at a much more measured pace.

Winry was sitting in the corridor when they got there, hugging her knees with her heels drawn up on the chair edge. She looked up as she heard them approaching.

“I just can’t believe it,” she murmured. “Who would do something like that? Why?”

Ed’s stomach flip-flopped again. He knew exactly why someone would do something like that. If Hughes had found out more information about the mysterious people in the fifth lab, then someone would definitely want to silence him.

Lieutenant Abrams opened the door for them, and the sight that met them didn’t do anything for Ed’s churning stomach.

Hughes just looked wrong, lying there hooked up to tubes and drips. He looked too small and too helpless; it didn’t look like he was just asleep and could wake up and be his normal, exuberant, irritating self at any moment. It was a stark reminder of just what they had got themselves involved in, and the fact that they were now in way over their heads, and the only thing that they could do to keep afloat was to keep moving forward.

“Ms Gracia, we’re so sorry,” Al said.

Despite everything, Gracia gave them a weak smile. There were dark shadows under her eyes and it looked like she hadn’t slept for days; Elysia was curled up in her lap but it looked like she’d only fallen asleep out of sheer exhaustion.

“Oh boys,” she said softly. “It’s not your fault.”

“But if we hadn’t…

Gracia shook her head, cutting them off.

“No, please don’t start getting into What-Ifs. You weren’t the ones who did this to Maes. You’re not responsible. Just… Promise me that you won’t let this derail you. Promise me that you’ll keep going and keep trying to get your bodies back like you were doing before. Please don’t give up. Please don’t let this be in vain.” She gave a long sigh, turning her gaze back towards Hughes. “There’s still hope. I’m sure that he’ll wake up with time. Maybe the next time he sees you, you’ll have succeeded.”

“Thank you, Ms Gracia.” They left the room quietly, collecting Winry from outside, and the three of them made their way back to the hotel in contemplative silence. Ed had been so close to giving up, figuring that if their quest to get their bodies back was going to get people hurt in the process, and if looking into the mysterious people from the fifth lab was going to get their friends like Hughes attacked, then maybe it wasn’t worth it at all, and they should just accept their fate and the consequences of breaking the taboo.

What Gracia had said made sense, though. Hughes had suffered this fate whilst acting on information that they had found out; he had been helping them out, and to give up now would be tantamount to throwing his help back in his face. They had to keep going, for the sake of everyone who had helped them even if not their own.

After all, as Gracia had said: there was still hope. However bleak things might look, there was still the chance that Hughes would be ok in the end, and if they had managed to get their bodies back by that point, then so much the better.

“I’m concerned about Hughes. I think that something needs to be done before anyone else decides that something needs to be done.”

“Don’t worry. I’ve been working on a plan since he went into the hospital. Everything will work out. I know how we can keep him safe.”

“I think we can safely say that the days of ‘not intervening’ are over.”

“When the stakes are this high, we can’t just sit back and do nothing.”

#FMA Brotherhood #FMA Fanfiction #Edward Elric #Alphonse Elric #Fic: Diverging Paths

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shanastoryteller · 4 years

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(thank you to @blackmagiclily for donating to a black lives matter affiliated charity!)

“Oh brother, my brother, let down your hair!”

“Shut up!” Ed hisses, sticking his head out of the tower. “Someone will hear you.”

Al grins, hands on his hips. “No they won’t, I knocked out the guards. Did you figure out where the other prisoners are being kept?”

Oh, well that’s fine then. He removes his shackles with a clap of his hands, then uses one more to make hand and foot holds jut out of the side of the tower. After that it’s easy to scramble down the side and meet his brother. He reaches up to tousle his hair and says, “Yeah, they’re being guarded in the dungeons. There’s a secret passage we can take.”

Al blinks. “How did you manage to find a secret passage in the middle of the emperor’s palace while under arrest? Did the guards tell you?”

“If the guards knew about it, it wouldn’t be a secret, would it?” he asks. “Is Winry ready?”

“Her and Paninya are waiting with enough horses for everyone,” Al confirms.

Ed considers asking where the hell they got that many horses, and then decides he doesn’t want to know. It really sucks they can’t take a car, but as soon as they got out of the city it would just get stuck and stall in all the sand. “Okay, lets go get our people.”

Sneaking around the palace is easy enough, since he knows the patrol schedule and all the places to tuck himself into. Which is good, but Al is becoming increasingly suspicious. “Brother,” he says slowly, “what happened the past week?”

“Nothing,” he says, finally creeping into a staircase hidden underneath a tapestry. “Let’s go.”

They make quick work of the guards. “Fullmetal,” Roy says, relieved, the rest of their team huddled behind him in the cell. If they weren’t surrounded by everyone, including his brother, Ed would kiss him.

“Colonel,” he returns, smirking as he claps and opens the cell. Roy grips his shoulders too tight, buy they don’t even risk a hug. He’s probably going to regret that later.

When they get out of the castle, Ed tells them to leave him behind.

“What? No!” Al shouts. “Why?”

“I made a deal,” he admits. “It was the only way to get you all out. I have more work to do.”

“A deal with who?” Havoc demands, “Ed, what the hell?”

“A deal with me.”

Ling steps out of the shadows and Ed rolls his eyes. He’s so dramatic. “This is Ling. He’s an asshole. And the emperor’s son. He needs my help with something.” He turns to Ling, “Really, you’re going to risk getting caught just to check on me? I told you I wouldn’t go back on word.”

Ling shrugs. “My trust only goes so far. You understand.”

“I understand I’m going to end up punching you before this is over,” he says.

“Edward,” Roy says, “what deal did you make with Prince Ling?”

“I can’t tell you that,” Ed says at the same time Ling says, “He’s going to kill my father for me.”

Al says, “No he’s not,” while everyone else goes from worried to pissed off.

“Fucking hell, Ling!” he snaps, rubbing a hand over his face.

Why did he always have to make things more difficult?

#blm fundraiser #fma

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deeplyinlovewithanime · 4 years

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Title: My Future Queen (Part 2)

Relationship: Ling Yao X Reader (slight Greedling X Reader)

Summary: Ling left in search of the Philosopher's Stone leaving an angry future wife at Xing.

Warning: Foul Language, and slight nudity

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After a week of traveling with everyone they decided to split up Winry, headed back to Resembool (name) went with her, while Alphonse looked for his missing brother.

"Well, this is it." Winry said two of the chimeras went with them, as their body guards.

"There's a bathroom up stair you can go ahead, and take your bath there (name)." Winry said she thankes her, and helped the chimeras unload their things.

After that she went straight up stairs to take a clean herself, (name) turned on the water as it was filling up she took her bag, and pulled out a towel.

(name) walked towards the now half filled tub she dip her feet in, then the other she sat down on the tub, and let out a sigh then closed her eyes in content.

Meanwhile at Winry's room Ed, along with two of the chimeras his been traveling with, and also Ling or Greed at the moment we're shoved out of her room.

Greed got up dusting himself off Edward got up from the floor, and grumbled how uncute Winry was being.

"I need to go, and a piss." Greed said then walked towards then bathroom, and headed for the toilet.

Once he was done Greed zipped up his pants the flushed, he cringe at the sight of the female items on the bathroom.

Though one pace on the bathroom caught his interest, it was covered by a curtain, and soft breeze from the window blow it a bit.

Suddenly a hand fell from the side though it didn't scared like any regular folk would, instead Greed was curious he pulled open the curtains, and his surprise he sees a girl sleep on the tub.

Her eyes opened then she looked at him widen eyed a sudden scream was heard from her, she covered her chest then started throwning things at him.

"Get out you pervert!! " She yelled a bottle of shampoo hit him squarely on the face, and Greed scrambles out of bathroom.

Greed got up from the floor, but the girl was not done yet she walked toward him, and before he knew it.

Her fist made harsh contact with the side of his face when Ed, and with the chimeras along with the blonde girl earlier came, Greed had already received a black eye, and bruise from the girl's attack.

"(name), wait! That's Ling!" Winry said (name) grab Greed by the collar of his shirt, she turned to the blonde confused.

"No, his not." She said a sudden grunted was heard (name) turned to the Ling impersonator, concern filling her face.

He turned to hug her, but she moved to the side his body harshly making contact with the blonde male, beside Winry.

"Ow, (name). That's was so mean, not hugging your fiancee after months of being apart." Ling said (name) took off her slipper, and slapped him with it hard.

"Don't you dare, start with me you jackass!! What kind of fiancee leaves without the other saying goodbye!" She said hands on her hips, the blonde male looked at her surprise along with the two other males.

"FIANCEE!!" They yelled out Ling got up from the floor dusting his clothing, his usual smile on his face.

"That's right, everyone I'll like to introduce to you. (name) my future wife." Ling said he wrapped his hand on her shoulder, but she harshly slapped it away the ravenette pulled his hand back a hurt look on his face.

"Oh come on, I had a good reason I didn't want to tell you, because I don't want you to be a dangerous situation." He said to her (name) sighed, she looked away from him a bit of blush on her cheeks.

"I guess, it can't be helped." She said Ling grinded then jumped towards her, and wrapped his arms in her shoulders.

"Thank you, thank you." He said in between kisses, making her blush more (name) tried to push him away, but damn is his grip ever strong.

"Stop it, already this is embarrassing." She said to him Ling held his head, then as he turned to her a smirk painted on his lips.

"So, your the one that Master Fu, and Lan Fan told me about." She said Greed put his hand below her chin, then kissed her on the lips.

(name) raised her fist, then puched this time on the mouth she pushed herself away from Greed, putting up a safe distance.

"Damn, that hurt. But I got to say, I like them feisty." He said another kick this time in between his legs, Greed grunted at the pain.

"Maybe Ling forgot to warn you, I don't take kindly on perverts." She said to him.

#anime #fanfic #fma #Ling Yao x Reader #Ling x Reader

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gamespritearchive · 3 years

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yes i like fullmetal alchemist brotherhood a normal amount (<- lying) this post is going to be long so open the readmore at ur own risk

ok this is genuinely going to be a mess because im really terrible at summarizing things and organizing my thoughts so if ur actually gonna read through this then good luck!

here are just some short thoughts before the longer paragraphs

- i absolutely LOVE the note that plays right after the alchemists clap their hands together that indicates that theyre abt to use alchemy. the sound of the clap + the note that plays is incredibly satisfying

- the strong and well-written female characters in this show was a really good touch and i loved how they brought them (izumi and olivier) together at the end :') also their beefy husbands together was super nice too

- my favorite part of the story was actually the part where ed and al go to briggs because thats wher they introduced olivier. it was super nice to see her talk about how strong-willed she is and her army and all of that

- lan fan is another example of a strong female character but a little less favorable since she serves ling yao. that doesnt make her any less cool though she was super badass and i definitely cried over her more than once

- the details in this show was really nice. alphonse's body being malnourished was something that seemed really obvious, but the fact that when ed got his right arm back it was noticeably less muscular and had longer nails than his left was such a good detail

- in the last episode there was a scene where alphonse made a dumb face that was animated just like how ed's faces looked and that made me really happy that we finally get to see al emote just like his brother :')

- im pretty sure i cried through the entirety of the last episode because being able to see the characters laugh and smile without feeling burdoned by anything after youve seen them go through repeated heartache and physical pain for 63 episodes is a super nice feeling

- "i'm a terrible father but i want to make you two proud" .

- "i'll give you half of my life and you give me half of yours" UGH

- also right after this when ed was laughing at how flustered winry got because normally hes the one who gets flustered :') that was so sweet

- i literally guessed that it was morse code whenever they showed selim banging on al's head because its like why would they put so much emphasis on that and let it go on for like 10 seconds without any music over it. this happened like multiple times too and i guessed it before they made it incredibly obvious bye im the smartest guy alive

ok heres where i talk more besties lets go

fmab was absolutely worth watching 64 episodes. i was convinced that i probably wont finish it because i have trouble finishing 12 episodes but as it may be obvious i got super invested. fmab being this long allowed there to be enough time to explain aspects of the story separately and to watch them all come together at some point. it also allowed for a ton of details that even though they're small, they're still important to the story. they rehash a lot of points because it was a simple detail that could get lost through the story but when its rementioned and you recall the time, it's such a nice feeling to have that click in ur mind.

also the character development was really good and ill get more in-depth about characters later but the length of this anime also allowed for a ton of really good character development. it ties into the whole thing where you learn about a characters backstory and you don't understand why it's important to the show until later on and then you're like ohhhh holy shit that makes sense now! also all that time for character development also lets you get attached to more than just the main characters and makes you care more about the role they play in the story.

roy mustang. at first i liked him, but when he started to speak about how he wanted to become the fuhrer president before he knew the military was corrupt, i assumed that he would just become as corrupt as bradley was ("starting wars for no reason"). i was convinced for the longest time that he would eventually just turn out to be the second bad guy and that nearly came true whenever he was trying to kill envy but riza helped him :) i loved the entirety of their relationship they're so sweet and compliment eachother so well. the scene where roy demonstrates the sheer amount of trust he has in riza's abilities by blindly (heh. he was blind during this if u didnt know.) following her directions and hitting their target ... it was just so good. also even though i didnt trust roy i thought he was super badass the sound of him snapping was always super satisfying as well

i almost want to rewatch fmab because it would be really nice to pick up on things that were later referenced in the anime. because of how long it is, its super easy to forget about things that happened early on in the anime (especially for someone with memory issues lol) so being able to watch back with the second half of the show still fresh on my mind would be almost an entirely different experience. the first thing that comes to mind is whenever we were shown kimblee in prison super early on. i know he had dialogue but i remember nothing about it because i was focused on thinking "literally who the fuck is this guy lol" but now i know. wow.

edward elric. im aware that this is going to be incredibly biased but i literally do not care. anyways. character development is always important and needed within a story but i genuinely feel like ed's character development was interesting to watch. it was never super obvious and his core values never changed. he did somewhat have a change in attitude when he nearly died to kimblee, but thats like expected you know ... being that close to death and all. i think that event was essentially the beginning of the end of his naivety. he was always consistent with the people he cared about though :) he never stopped calling them stupid and weird and he never stopped threatening to punch hohenheim whenever he was frustrated even if they were like in the middle of like a life or death situation. i just think he's neat

when ed destroyed pride('s vessel) i felt my heart well up with. pride LOL. that was his very first explicit win against someone who has been against him this entire time, and seeing him defeat pride with his own two hands was such a nice feeling. it wasnt technically his own win since he was only able to get to that point because of his friends and family around him

episode 60 was suuper good it was the part where the father was gonna swallow god because of the solar eclipse. its super hard to explain if uve never seen it but basically the scene was super cool simply because of how well the animation showed the sheer scale of what was happening. like this guy was literally reaching to the moon. theres a lot of unnatural things that are shown in fmab and although this scene didnt introduce any new concepts, it was still incredibly captivating because of how well the animation was

aand thats it i think! i regret not writing down how i feel during the earlier episodes but i think watching it with little to no distractions was a better experience. if u actually read this im giving u a kiss on the cheek rn ilu

#i dont expect anyone to read this btw this is purely for myself #i hate proofreading shit so dont look at anything too closely

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pakchoys · 4 years

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on that note, do you have any edling fic recs? 👀

this would be a lot easier if i bookmarked all the fics i read. huh

i haven’t actively read any since the days when i consumed edling at a horrifying rate to ease the suffering of being fifteen. obviously there are the ones i wrote as noodlebunny on ao3, but those are a dumpster fire, good god

the ones i saved are probably ones you’ve read if you’ve spent any time on the edling tag at all, soooo……… can i interest you in some meagre edling dug up from my old fma files? it’s a modern au where ed adopts nina, alternatively titled Ed Fights A Twelve Year Old Then Meets His Future Boyfriend

Words: 1.6k

TW for implied child abuse

Edward watches Nina from a bench at the edge of the play park. He shifts his grip on his paper cup while Nina moves from the slide to the monkey bars. There was a time where he would have been up there with her, arms raised and ready if she fell; now that Nina’s seven years old, however, she’s a self-proclaimed big girl who can tackle the monkey bars herself. It’s good, seeing her so independent.

If only Ed’s heart wouldn’t plummet into his stomach every time she so much as slips.

It can’t be helped. Al calls him an over protective mother hen; Ed calls himself sensible, thank you kindly.

Nina clears the monkey bars without a hitch. From the top of the unholy metal playpark structure of death, she gives Ed a winning smile and a wave, sending her two braids flying. Ed waves back, adding a thumbs up for good measure.

His phone pings. Ed fishes it out of his jacket.

Al’s texted, Want to see the cat I saw on campus today??? followed by a string of cat emojis dispersed with hearts.

not really, Ed replies, a smile tugging at him because he knows Al knows he’s lying.

Oops, too late, Al says. The cat’s cute, sort of. Ed doesn’t really get the beasts, but Al’s crazy for them and so is Nina, which means it’s such a damn nightmare when Al encourages her.

demon gremlin creature, Ed sends.

He’s so preoccupied with watching the dots as Al types that he doesn’t hear Nina until she’s crying.

His phone is left abandoned on the bench as he sprints towards her, and oh god, she’s on the ground—what if something’s broken? What if she hit her head, what if—what if she’s hurt bad just because Ed couldn’t keep an eye on her, not for five damn minutes—what if they take her away—

Not until he’s stopping next to her does Ed realise that there’s another girl there too. She’s already helping Nina sit up, her crying has already beginning to taper into little sniffles.

“Nina,” Ed says gently, “Are you okay? Where does it hurt?”

“‘M fine, big brother.” She looks up at him through her tears, as stoic as a seven year old in yellow dungarees can be. Too brave, too willing to hide her pain. “I fell off the climbing wall. It’s just a scrape.”

He gingerly checks her knee over and, yeah, it’s just a sluggishly bleeding cut but there’s sure to be bruising. The plasters and disinfectant are all back at the apartment.

“Oh, here, I can help!”

In what Alphonse fondly dubs as Big Brother Panic, Ed had completely forgotten the girl who helped Nina up. She looks maybe a few years older than Nina, but she’s short and her black hair is in two massive buns so it’s hard to tell. Rifling through her pink backpack, she pulls out a box of plasters and antiseptic salve.

“You just carry that around with you?” Ed asks flatly.

The little girl, previously so sweet to Nina, shoots him a cold glare. “What’s it to you, shortie?”

“Wh—Hey! You’re like, ten! Shortie! Shortie?! I’m a damn giant next to you!”

“Yeah, next to me.” She rolls her eyes. “Not saying much, is it? And I’m twelve, so watch it, or I’ll cut you down another inch.”

Ed’s in half a mind to pick Nina up and nope the fuck out of here. ‘Roasted by a twelve year old’ wasn’t on his schedule. He does the roasting, dammit.

“Big brother, calm down,” says Nina. “You’re being silly.”

Oh, Ed woes the day this doe-eyed girl wrapped him around her little finger.

“Right. Sorry, kiddo.”

“Anyway, I’m Mei,” says the demon in the body of a girl with a pink backpack. “I’m gonna be a doctor someday, so I can help you out.”

“I’m Nina! This is my big brother, Edward. He’s grumpy right now but he’s really the best.”

“Hm.” Mei narrows her eyes at him. “We’ll see.”

He will not stick his tongue out at a child. He will not stick his tongue out at a child.

To her credit, Mei is efficient and gentle about dressing Nina’s cut. She’s got excellent bedside manner too, and by the end of it Nina’s tears are all gone and she’s warmed to Mei like a new best friend. Not all kids are good with younger kids, and Ed’s silently impressed.

“Are you out here alone?” Ed asks as he helps Nina up. Not that Central in the middle of the day is especially dangerous.

“Naw, I’m with my brother. He went to get us ice cream, and then I saw Nina fall down, so I came over to help.”

“Nice of you.”

“Yeah, I’m a nice person.” Mei shrugs her backpack on. “We can’t all be, I suppose.”

“Hey kid, is that supposed to mean something—“

“Big brother Ed, can we get ice cream?” Nina clings very suddenly to Ed’s automail arm, tugging enthusiastically. She’s always been casual about his prosthetics. It’s nice to have someone who doesn’t give it a second glance, even if that someone is a tiny child begging for more sweets.

“I guess so,” ponders Ed, pretending to debate it. “You have been pretty brave today. And it’s hot out. But try be more careful playing next time, okay?”

“‘Kay! Ice cream?”

“Sure.”

“Yay! You’re the best, big brother!”

Ed can’t help but notice Mei watching them strangely. He’s sure they must look strange and not related at all, what with Ed’s Xerxian complexion. Whatever.

“In that case, come meet my brother,” Mei says. “He’s probably waiting for me at the ice cream place. Havoc’s, you know the one?”

“We went there for my birthday!” Nina’s bouncing now. Ed’s whole arm shakes.

“Well, come on then. I have a feeling my bro’s gonna like you.” Mei looks at him funny as she says it. Ed does not like this child.

It’s busy out on such a sunny day. Ed gets a few stares at his arm, and he almost, almost regrets going out in a t-shirt. Then Nina holds his hand tighter, beaming up at him, and he breathes easier.

Now if only he could bring himself to wear shorts too.

“There he is,” says Mei as the ice cream place comes into view. “Ah, jeez, he’s shirtless again.”

“Wait, what?” says Ed.

Mei ignores him in favour of stalking up to a guy about Ed’s age, nineteen or maybe older, who is indeed entirely shirtless. Ed looks furiously away.

“Hey, you dolt!” Mei near-shouts, drawing looks from bystanders. “Put your shirt on in public! You’re so embarrassing, Ling, I can’t believe we’re related.”

“Aw, is my baby sister embarrassed?” Ling chuckles and ruffles her hair, wincing as his hand is slapped away. “It’s hot. I’m just airing out!”

“It’s public indecency, if you’re looking to get arrested again. Where’s our ice cream?”

“Oh, that. It’s a funny story, you know…”

“You ate it?! Again?”

“Ahahah…”

“Buy me another!”

“I would, I would! But that was the last change I had…”

“Ugh! Next time I’m going with Lan Fan and you can’t come.”

“Hey, hey, it’s not my fault you took so long! Chill!”

“I was helping out a girl with a cut knee, so don’t give me that crap.”

Ling seems to notice them, then. He pushes his floppy black hair away and gives Ed a winning grin, sticking his hand out to shake. Ed cringes; he’s gonna have to use his automail hand, and that makes people act so annoyingly awkward.

Ling just grips his hand without missing a beat, shaking firmly.

“I’m Ling!”

“… Ed. This is Nina.”

“Hiya, Nina!” Ling bends down slightly to wave. “Wow, I love your braids. Stylish.”

“Thanks!” Nina chirps, encouraged out of her shell by Ling’s friendliness. She’s not what Ed would call a shy child, but there was a period where she was so withdrawn Ed worried she’d never recover from what her bastard of a father did to her.

Tried to do.

“Your sister’s right,” says Ed to Ling. “You should put a shirt on.”

Way to make friends, idiot. So friendly and approachable.

Ling stares; Mei snorts. Ed contemplates his own terrible, off putting personality.

Then Ling waggles his eyebrows and says, “What, don’t like what you see?”

“Wh— Hey—!” He’s spluttering and bright red and say something! “No, it’s terrible! I hate it! Put a damn shirt on!”

Not that!

He doesn’t dare look Ling in the eyes as he briskly scoops Nina up, much to her indignation, and escapes into the ice cream parlour. He just knows the shirtless idiot is watching him.

“Big brother, can we see them again? They’re so cool!”

“No, they’re not, Nina. They’re the worst and we hate them. Pick a flavour.”

“But what about Mei? She doesn’t get any ice cream!”

“Too bad.”

Oh, no. He’s done it now. Nina’s eyes begin to water and Ed’s heart clenches, already knowing he’s done for.

“Hey, kiddo, I’m sorry.”

“If Mei doesn’t get any, I won’t have any. ‘S not fair if I’m the only one…”

Ed closes his eyes. His counts to three. He faces the facts.

“If that’s the case…”

—

Later, when they all have ice cream out of Ed’s pocket and stupid Ling is wearing a stupid shirt, Ed adamantly pretends not to hear Mei lean over and say,

“See, I told you my brother would like you.”

—

A/N: ED STOP CUSSING IN FRONT OF CHILDREN

#long post #fma #edling #my fic #child abuse tw #anon: fic recs?#me: no i but i do have this bs... im sorry #srry if the read more doesnt work on some vers idk what i can do

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beerecordings · 4 years

Note

Umm is it possible to ask for different ipliers/septic egos accidently walking in on a Jim Jim religion meeting?

hahaha okay okay a goofy piece for a funny prompt. credit to the anon who suggested that the Jim twins would think JJ stood for Jim Jim, an idea which then progressed into us all joking about the twins starting a JJ-based religion (posts about it are tagged Jim Jim Jameson lol). so here’s a slightly crack fic but still a funny and sometimes cute look at the way the Jims interact with the others. a quick piece, slightly ridiculous hahaha <3

-------------

“Burgers? Who wants burgers and who wants hot dogs? Cheese? Who wants cheese? You know what, Derekson, just get me a list of everybody and what they want.”

“Wilford, sir, that’s not a spatula.”

“No? Then what is it, my dear boy?”

“Looks like somebody’s Wall-E DVD, Wil.”

Chase chokes on his soda and tries not to laugh aloud, though all he ends up doing is spitting Dr. Pepper out of his nose.

“Chase!” gripes Marvin, shoving his lawn chair away. “Gross!”

“He’s out of his fucking mind,” wheezes Chase, trying to keep it down.

“They all are,” hisses back Marvin, but he’s laughing too. Chase can see it in the shine in his eyes.

“Hey, shut up, man,” laughs Bing.

“You shut up,” shoots back Marvin.

“No, you.”

“You are two to one here, Bing-a-ling,” teases Chase, grinning.

“Aw, come off it,” chuckles the robot, sitting back. “Pass me a beer, will you?”

“You can’t drink liquids, Bing.”

“I like the aesthetic!”

“Wilford!” Edward is boxing Wilford away from the grill, trying to keep him from using Eric’s glasses as his second impromptu spatula. “I am grilling, you are absolutely one hundred percent banned from anything involving fire.”

“Now, see here, Bim,” growls Wilford.

“I’m Edward, Wilford. Google, tell Wilford he’s not allowed on the grill!”

On the other side of the space between the three houses, a head with shining black hair turns only slightly, and a smooth voice sounds.

“Wilford,” calls Google. “I have yet to see the darkness. Do you think he is in pain, stuck in his room?”

Wilford’s eyes flicker, distracted, even a little unnerved. He puffs himself up after a moment, dropping Eric’s glasses into the grass as if they were never in his hand to begin with. “What, my blackbird, stuck in his bedroom? I shall carry him if I have to. And we will sit on the grass and drink this cocaine soda everyone is always raving about!”

“For the last time,” groans Edward. “There’s no cocaine in Coca-Cola anymore!”

But Wilford is already hurrying off towards the house behind the peach trees, whistling to himself as he goes.

“Thank you, Google,” calls Ippy, sighing deeply, and across the yard the android raises a hand in silent acquiescence, his attention still on Jameson’s rapid signing. Something about American tea, as far as Chase can tell. He laughs and sits back against Bing’s legs, sprawling his own boots out in front of him and finishing his soda with a quiet sigh. There’s beer for his brothers but, like the residents of these three houses, he won’t have any. He’s supposed to be happy while they’re visiting this mess of a – would you call it a family? – and he won’t let old habits get in the way. He casts his eyes quietly around the yard, almost sleepy with the comforting laziness of the little vacation. Jackie is the center of Shep and Host’s attention, telling an enthusiastic story about a burning building that turned out to be a drug front he busted back in Brighton, Henrik is exchanging a birdie back and forth with Bim as they wait for Ippy and Eric to come back for doubles, and Marvin is right here, kicking Chase’s foot for fun while Google discusses Earl Grey in a monotone behind them.

“This is weird,” says Chase.

“Yeah,” says Bing.

“But not so much in a bad way,” adds Marvin, and they exchange grins over sodas and beers, warm in the sun and the scratchy California grass.

“Okay, I got everybody’s order, right?” calls Ippy, flipping a burger. “Host, you – oh, no, here you are. The twins, where are the twins? Hey, who knows what the twins want? Where are they?”

“I saw them going down into that little, uh, door?” says Chase, pointing at a pair of wooden doors sticking out of the earth by the third house.

“Oh, yeah, an old shelter,” sighs Ippy. “They hang out down there sometimes. I should get them, maybe, uh – ”

“Aw, no sweat, doc,” says Chase, clambering to his feet. “I’ll see what they want. You focus on getting the meat just right.”

“Thanks, Brody.”

Chase tweaks Marvin’s ear teasingly as he passes and steps towards the doors across the way, setting his feet and pulling them gently open. He steps down into the concrete basement and finds that it’s actually been decorated quite nicely for an underground bomb shelter – thick rugs are layered across the floor, leaving a little patch of space in the corner for a heater, and a pair of electric camping lanterns surround the twins where they’re sitting in the middle of the shelter, working on –

“Um,” says Chase. “Is that Jamie?”

Both twins let out shrieks of surprise and the first leans hurriedly down to blow out the candle of his lantern. It is, however, still electric. He groans in despair and flops down onto the rug, hiding the papers and pictures that litter the floor in his arms.

“Intruder!” wails the second, covering his eyes with his hands. “Jim’s fortress is breached!”

Chase is too distracted to reply by the pictures of his brother, which he now sees are not just littering the floor, but also covering the walls. Some of them are hand-drawn, hurried stick figures with mustaches and black hats, while others have been printed off from the internet, showing Jamie’s smiling face in sepia brown or grey and white.

“Uhhhhhh,” says Chase. “I, uh. What is this?”

“Nothing,” promise both twins, grabbing each other for support.

“Chase! Chase!” Feet patter down the stairs, bringing wild laughter with them, and Jackie and Shep appear with Jackie’s hands wrapped around the biggest toad Chase has ever seen, struggling in his hands. “Look at this fucking toad!”

“He just snatched it right off the ground,” howls Shep, who has always found anything Jackie did to be hilariously funny.

“I thought you’d appreciate more than Henrik, who slapped me for trying to make him pet it,” giggles Jackie, shoving it into Chase’s face. “He’s perfect and he – what the hell is all this?”

Shep and Jackie go just as quiet as Chase did, staring around the walls.

“Did you marker a mustache onto your puppy?” asks Shep, pointing at the stuffed animal in one of the Jims’ arms.

“Why does your computer have a livefeed of Jamie eating a hot dog?” asks Jackie a little more dangerously.

“Okay, fine, you have caught Jim!” cries the first one. “Jim is celebrating the great Jim Jim with knick-knacks and cute pictures.”

“His name – ” Shep pauses to sigh and smack his own forehead. “Boys. We have talked about some of these obsessions. The last thing you ‘celebrated’ was that three toed-sloth you saw on Planet Earth.”

“She was perfect!” howl both twins in sync. “Perfect, she was perfect! She just wanted a mate, Silver Jim, she just wanted a husband! She could swim, Silver Jim! She was a sloth with three toes!”

“Are they going to like, uh. Hurt and/or kidnap Jameson?” asks Jackie, touching Shep’s arm.

“What, the twins? No. They’re harmless. Wouldn’t hurt a fly. Well, not on purpose. They once tied a string around one and then it died because they didn’t know how to feed it and they cried until Eric brought them popsicles, but that’s just the twins.”

Jackie steps politely over the babbling twins and carefully turns off the livefeed of Jamie.

“Jim likes JimJim!”

“Why is he leaving tomorrow?”

“Freedom of worship, Silver Jim! America!”

“Okay, okay,” cries Silver, waving his hands to quiet them. “Sh, boys, it’s okay, hey. Don’t fuss. Look, Jackie found a toad!”

The twins sniffle and turn their attention to the toad, instantly excited again.

“Oh! Like in Frog and Toad!”

“Like in Rango!”

“Like in the Princess and the Frog! But a toad! Can Jim have it, Mr. not-quite Jim Jim, please?”

Jackie shrugs and hands them the toad. “What are you going to call it?”

“Jameson!” cry both twins at once, happily petting the toad’s head as it croaks.

Jackie, Chase, and Shep exchange glances.

“Well, we’re heading out tomorrow,” says Chase.

“And I’m driving back to my apartment in the city,” adds Shep.

“Pretend we never saw this?” Jackie suggests.

“Yep,” answer Shep and Chase together, and the three of them turn and head right back up the stairs, passing a confused Ippy with two plates of hot dogs, who gives them one odd look and then continues down.

“Boys!” he hollers a moment later, and Chase, Jackie, and Silver all burst into laughter and hurry away, sitting down around Jameson, who wants to know what exactly is so funny?

“Nothing,” they all promise, ignoring Google’s eyeroll and Jamie’s indulgent smile. “Just another obsession of the Jims, haha.”

“Well, they go through three of those a week,” sighs Google. “Don’t get too excited. Whatever it is, they’ll be over it in a couple days.”

Perhaps that is usually true.

But not this time.

------------------

“Okay,” says Ippy, surveying the room besides the kitchen, blinking slowly. “This has officially gone too far.”

Host laughs rich and low, covering his mouth and leaning against the doorway, apparently endlessly amused by this newest interest of the cameramen’s. Eric giggles weakly, glancing around, but there’s a light of alarm in his eyes too, and it only makes Host laugh harder when he senses it, halfway collapsing against the doorway.

“Why is typewriter Jim laughing?” complains the second Jim, pasting another picture in a scrapbook labeled ‘the greatness of JimJim.’

“Is this a fucking cult?” asks Host. “I’ve seen worse but this one is certainly the cutest.”

“Jim is not cute!” protests the second Jim, while the first asks, “Oh, Jim, would you like to join Jim?”

“No, honey,” laughs Host, striding away. “I leave more patient men than I to deal with this.”

“Host,” grumbles Ippy, before sighing and turning his attention back to the Jims. “Boys, this isn’t a cult, right?”

“What’s a cult?” asks the second.

“Jim thinks the word doctor Jim is looking for is religion,” pipes up the first helpfully.

Edward turns around so he can swear without them hearing. Eric laughs again, relaxing the more he looks around and stepping over to sit down with the twins.

“Come on, Ippy. They’re just having fun.”

“Worshipping Jameson is not an appropriate way to have fun,” protests Edward.

“They’re scrap-booking.” Eric holds up the little book, which is, admittedly, rather well-made for a Jim project.

“And making a documentary!” exclaims Jim, holding his computer out to Eric, where iMovie is open to several very shaky shots of Jameson sitting on the couch or talking with the others or, on one screen, cooking omelets and turning occasionally to smile at the eagerly narrating twins.

“And making a documentary,” repeats Eric fondly, ruffling his hair. “It’s just arts and crafts.”

“There’s a poster of Jameson made out of sticky notes on the wall!”

“And look how good they did at putting the notes together!”

“Thank you, sweater Jim,” say both the twins politely, smiling.

“Eric, it’s creepy. They don’t need to learn to be obsessing over other people.”

“You let them stalk Mark for two months.”

“Oh, yeah, cause that was hilarious,” laughs Ippy, throwing his head back. “He was so confused. Fuck Mark!”

“Fuck Mark,” repeat the twins eagerly.

“No! Don’t swear, guys, I know you’ll start doing it at work if I let you do it at home,” sighs Ippy.

“Jim would never swear in front of the petting zoo animals!” cries the first Jim.

“And Jim would never swear while helping with the news!” adds the second, indignant.

“See how responsible they are! Ip, let them be. I’ll make sure it doesn’t get too creepy. Like, uh. The hairs in this scrapbook aren’t actually Jameson’s, are they?”

“Yes, from Jim Jim’s mustache,” answer both twins, beaming.

“Well, why don’t you let me have that,” suggests Eric, carefully unstapling the plastic bag with a few stray dark hairs at the bottom.

“You two will be the death of me,” says Ippy, shaking his head.

But they do look damn sweet when they’re smiling that big.

“Okay, but no filming Jameson when he’s not looking anymore.”

“Okay, doctor Jim,” promise the twins.

“Jim will do it when Jim Jim and doctor Jim are both not looking,” whispers the second.

“They’ll never suspect it,” agrees the first in a hush. Eric laughs, tidying their scrapbook materials a little.

“You could even learn BSL like Jamie, maybe,” he suggests.

The twins light up like fireworks.

“BSL!” repeats the first one, clapping his hands together.

“JIM CAN SPEAK AS THE GREAT JIM SPEAKS,” screams the second at the top of his lungs, and this is enough to startle Bing, who was about to ride his skateboard down the stairs. He yelps in alarm as his board slips beneath him, and a moment later he comes crashing hard down the stairs and lands in a heap of sparking parts at Ippy’s feet.

“The death of me!” repeats the doctor furiously, waving his finger around accusingly. “All of you! This whole house! This whole clearing! I’ll die at thirty-four! You’ll have to bury me! Have fun with my funeral expenses, you complete bastards.”

“Bastards!” repeat the twins.

“Look bastards up in BSL!”

“Look Jim up in BSL!”

“Look everything up in BSL!”

Ippy has the distinct feeling he’s being made fun of, just a little, but even Bing is laughing, and all he can do is try not to smile as he heads back out the door.

-----------------

“Can’t you move a body a little more quietly?”

Wilford hauls the heavy tarp across the pathway and grunts, flicking a little blood off his fingers. “Well, you could help!”

“Why would I do that when I have you to do it for me?” purrs back Dark, following him down the pathway towards the car.

“You just like to feel like you’re manipulating something,” scolds Wilford, pausing just to boop Dark’s nose. In protest, Dark vanishes back into the void and leaves Wilford with nothing but a sulking shadow drifting around his feet.

“And now you’re a smoke kitty,” coos Wilford, dragging the body farther down the path.

“Just hurry,” says Dark, re-appearing in a masculine form this time. “You know I prefer for the twins to stay sheltered and I don’t want them catching us again.”

“Catching what?” asks Jim, standing in the trees with his camera.

Wilford swears colorfully and Dark dissipates back into shadow on instinct, spitting out curses of his own.

“Now, see here, Iplier,” says Wilford. “It’s quite rude to be sneaking up on a fellow.”

“That’s Jim, Wil.”

“Oh. What in the name of Burt Reynolds are you two doing out here so late at night?”

“Oh! We’re filming for a documentary for Jim Jim.”

“They mean Jameson,” Dark tells Wil.

“Who’s Jameson?” whispers Wilford.

Dark sighs very deeply.

“He is the great Jim!” cries the second Jim, rising from the bushes like a Peanuts character on Halloween.

“The great Jim,” repeats the first Jim solemnly.

“He’s that little old-fashioned…” Dark waves his hand, trying to find the right word. “Jackson. You’ve met him.”

“Oh, I know who you mean. The British chap with the truly excellent mustache. But he’s not even out here, what are you filming?”

“Well, he is not here. But Jim has heard is very fond of hedgehogs. So Jim is trying to find some!”

“Are there hedgehogs in America?” whispers Wilford.

“Fuck if I know,” answers Dark irritably.

“Would you like to join Jim in the search for hedgehogs and ultimately the eternal worship of the great Jim Jim?”

“Don’t look so hopeful, you little miscreant, you know I avoid engaging with you at all costs,” growls Dark, but the twins just giggle.

“They used to be afraid of you,” teases Wilford.

“Shut up,” snipes Dark. “I could make them afraid in about two seconds.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“But you won’t.”

“The real question,” interrupts one of them – Dark can’t tell them apart. “Is what are Dark and pink Jim doing out in the forest late at night? Jim is a very good reporter, you know. Jim uncovers mysteriousnesses.”

“I think you mean mysteries,” says Dark. “And we’re, uh.”

Wil and Dark glance at the body in between them.

“Returning a lamp to the store,” finishes Wil.

Dark closes his eyes. His exasperation has set in so deep he can feel it in his broken spine. He’s going to kill Wilford. But then again, he thinks that about three times a day and never seems to make good on his threat.

“A lamp,” says Jim.

“A lamp,” repeats his brother.

They stare down at the wrapped corpse.

“That checks out,” says the first.

“Jim is an investigative journalist so Jim can tell,” agrees the second.

“Just get out of my sight,” snaps Dark, advancing on them with shadow cloaking his set shoulders, and the twins shriek in equal parts fear and excitement and go darting back into the underbrush.

“You’re it, Mr. Dark!”

“Run, Jim! Run!”

Dark crosses his arms over his chest and turns to glare at Wilford.

“I could scare them if I wanted to.”

Wilford just smiles and picks up the body again, pausing only to give Dark a quick kiss on the cheek.

“I know you could, little ghost. Hey, should we be worried they appear to be worshipping Jacksepticeye?”

“Should I be concerned you told me you worshipped the Pillsbury dough boy while you were drunk last week?”

“Oh, no, the body is slipping! Let me just – ” He picks it up and slings it over his shoulder, sprinting towards the car and away from any further questions. Dark rolls his eyes and drifts back into the shadows, following peaceably after him.

---------------------

Google blinks awake to a pair of eyes staring back at him.

Check that. Two pairs of eyes.

“Boys,” he says levelly. “I’m charging. This had better be an emergency.”

Jim and Jim exchange looks.

Carefully, they push a crumpled pamphlet with Jameson’s face drawn on it in crayon beneath his nose.

“Join our religion?”

Google gets out of bed in one swooping motion, drags them both out of the house, and, ignoring the shrill cries of “why, cruel computer Jim?” and “persecution! Persecution! Persecution!” dumps them both bodily into the lake.

---------------------

Everybody gets to hear about it at one point or another. The Jims’ amicability for JJ, taken a little too far, is occasionally annoying, but nevertheless remains largely harmless. In the name of the great JJ, they pick up more than one of his hobbies – taking care of injured animals, painting with watercolors, dressing in black and white – and develop rudimentary BSL that actually turns out to be really helpful on the days when the twins are distressed and won’t talk out loud. Most of them learn to tolerate it with amusement, though Host never stops thinking it’s one of the funniest things they’ve ever done and Google makes sure they learn the consequences of being too irritating. Bing and Eric bring them craft supplies and trinkets from the store that remind them of JJ, while Ippy entices them to eat their vegetables and sit still through examinations with made-up stories about how tough and healthy Jameson is. On Christmas Eve, as a reward for being good all year, Ippy asks Jameson to Skype with them for a little while, and he’d never seen the twins so excited and yet so well-mannered at the same time, even managing to use first-person pronouns for themselves once or twice, eager to impress JJ.

“Good signing,” he congratulates them, looking soft and snuggly in the Christmas Eve pajamas he and his brothers all exchanged for the night.

“Thank you thank you thank you!” sign the twins eagerly, and Ippy chuckles, blowing on their hot chocolate to cool it before he brings it to them.

“You must have been dedicated,” says Jameson, and when they don’t understand, he substitutes the word “good.”

“Good!” chirps Jim, clapping his hands together. “Good! We have! We have!”

“You will tell Santa to bring us gifts, then?” asks his brother eagerly. Ippy smiles and takes a sip of the chocolate, checking the temperature carefully.

JJ laughs. “How will I tell him? Did you write letters?”

“Yes, we did. But I bet he will believe it if Jim Jim puts in a good word for us!”

“That’s sweet,” chuckles JJ, keeping his hands slow. “But I think he will listen to you too! I’m just little old me.”

“Yeah,” says Jim cheerfully. “God.”

Ippy spits the hot chocolate out and races over to slam shut the computer before he can see Jameson’s reaction.

“Boys!” he hollers. “Too far!”

Iplier hears a thud as, up the stairs and narrating this story to himself, Host laughs so hard he tumbles right out of his bed.

#2020 prompts #jim jim jameson #anon #jim twins

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shocotate · 3 years

Text

FMA Brotherhood (PSP) Story Mode Ending – Riza Hawkeye

Riza’s Ending

We fought back as best we could. But in the end, Fuhrer King Bradley had our backs against the wall. Strangely, instead of finishing us off, he let us live. Colonel Mustang was separated from his trusted subordinates. Of course, I was reassigned too. My new title: Personal Secretary to the Fuhrer. On the day of my transfer, the Colonel and I exchanged few words …

…but I knew what he was thinking.

Deep down, he was burning for a comeback.

I won’t give up, either. I will do everything in my power to regain those pleasant, peaceful days we once enjoyed.

And I have vowed that the day of reckoning will come. After all, the Colonel would demand nothing less of his subordinates.

Extra

The Colonel got stuck listening to Lieutenant Colonel Hughes brag about his daughter again.

Still, those two really are such good friends. I guess they don’t call war buddies brothers in arms for nothing.

Hm…Now I want to see Rebecca for some reason. But I know as soon as I see her, she’s going to ask me to introduce her to a cute guy in Central.

#fma #Fullmetal Alchemist #riza hawkeye #Roy Mustang #maes hughes #Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood #fma brotherhood #black hayate #fmab #fmabpsp spoilers #fmab spoilers #shoco plays PSP

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crossroadsfossil · 4 years

Note

Fake titles!!!

"Giving matches to paper dolls"

"Making wishes out of Airplanes"

"For wheat is still wheat when mistaken for grass at a distance."

" you've got time to grow"

"Letters to myself"

"I begged god to spare you, 10yrs later he got the memo and knocked my front teeth."

-im sorry this^ title is so long-

"You and have a long walk home."

"We decided not to cry."

send me a made-up fic title and i'll tell you what i would write to go with it

"Giving matches to paper dolls"

OTGW fic.

When Wirt was finished with high school, he decided to take a gap year, encouraged by his stepdad, who also offered to help fix up an old car. Wirt chose a moped.

His stepfather held up a hand when Wirt wheeled the moped into the garage. Wirt stopped and waited, his stepfather massaging the bridge of his nose before turning around and entering the house. Less than three minutes later he returned with a photo album, an almost manic grin on his face. Wirt ended up learning a lot about his stepfather’s own gap year, and his moped. His stepfather suggested he go south.

Looking back on it, Wirt realized that was probably not a great choice. He might not have ended up going through the kudzu covered wall in the rain and ending up nursing what he hoped wasn’t a broken ankle.

The woods were dark, and oh so familiar.

plot: return to The Beyond. World hopping Wirt and Greg. Eventual Beast Wirt.

"Making wishes out of Airplanes"

Plot: The thing about living in large cities was that light pollution drowned out all stars. The heavens could be raining down wish bearing stars and no one in the city or its suburbs would be able to see them.

That’s alright. Izuku was used to taking terrible situations and transmuting them into success like an alchemist of old. He did it when he was young, he would do it again.

He just hadn’t counted on Tomura being sent back in time with him.

"For wheat is still wheat when mistaken for grass at a distance."

Inko Midoriya could once move mountains. If you gave her enough time and a spoon, she would show you a new valley where it used to be. Marriage and the birth of her son had provided her the opportunity to retire - something she took with both hands and would refuse to give up.

Or it had been until she had seen what Izuku was being sent into, what even the top ten couldn’t prevent from happening to her son. She was... disappointed. She had expected more of them and, well. There were few things that could prompt her into leaving retirement. Izuku was always one of them, and when he asked how to save a person, well.

She pulled out the small black book with her cyphered contact list and began to call in favors and upon old friends.

" you've got time to grow"

One of the first things he was told after being taken in by the commission was that he was to be called Hawks. Which was fine. He liked it. It sounded cool. It sounded badass.

The second thing he was told was that he was being placed in a home. A pair of foster parents, carefully vetted. His mom had always told him to slow down, to not go as fast. Clearly, he didn��t listen to her. He didn’t regret it. Now, now he was forced to slow down. Bandages pulling at his back and shoulders, the echoing pain dulled by creams and medication. That wouldn’t stop him normally but the driveway that was half a kilometer to the road hindered him. The fact that the nearest town was an hour's drive beyond that was another factor. Until his wings grew back, if they grew back, he was stuck at his parent’s retirement home.

“Hawks, honey, the farmhands are almost here.” His mother said, phone in hand. “Your mom says they picked up lunch on the way back. From the glee in her voice, I think she got several buckets. I swear.” She sighed fondly and left. Minutes later he heard the front door open, and the tromping in of several sets of feet. With a sigh, he got up and limped down to the dining area.

At the threshold, he froze, seeing people he didn’t want to ever see again, and especially not with his mothers in the same room.

“Hawks.” Spinner said, surprise written over his face. The heads of the rest of the league snapped hard toward him, surprise and creeping dread over everyone’s face.

"Letters to myself"

If Phalnex could have written a letter to his past self, he would have encouraged another post. Any post. Any position would have been better than where he was currently. Yes, there were benefits but he would not consider this one of them.

A large feline purred as he entered the hanger. It was the largest of the lions- that was what the humans were calling them. He wasn’t sure what their fascination with comparing wildlife to creatures they had on their homeworld. He saw where they drew the comparisons, but still.

“Oh thank fuck.” A familiar voice said. His ears swiveled to pinpoint where the holder of the voice was and he spotted her held between the lion’s front two paws.

“Vin.” He greeted. The Midoan smacked the paws until they loosened enough for her to wiggle out from between them. She offered him a sympathetic look as she sped by him. As soon as she cleared the door, he was being picked up, scruffed as if he was a kit.

Gods, he couldn’t wait until that pilot returned. This lion was ungodly clingy without him.

"I begged god to spare you, 10yrs later he got the memo and knocked my front teeth."-im sorry this^ title is so long-

This would actually be a series, a trilogy to be exact. Age/roleswap.

I begged god to spare you, -

If there was one thing Izuka was worried about, it was this year’s UA internships. Tokoyami was doing his best to reassure him, but even the antics of darkshadow (who was doing her best to imitate an overly fluffy utahraptor) weren’t easing the twisting in his stomach. Something felt wrong. He wasn’t sure what it was, but when the interns had left with his sidekicks, something trilled at him to go with them, even though Recovery Girl had assured him that between herself, Apex and Ravine, they would be fine. There was a knock and then Ochako stuck her head in. She had that look she got when dealing with Bakugo and paperwork in the same room- a mix of exhausted and simmering annoyance.

“Guess who found trouble?” She said. Izuku groaned and let his head thump the table.

10yrs later he got the memo -

The two children before him were pale-haired, short, and one of them was looking at Izuku like he dared the hero to come closer. Toshi was letting Recovery Girl look over his arm, inspecting her work before moving on to Enji. The fire-user was giving a glare towards Toshi that, were his flames capable of shooting from his eyes, his classmate would be ash already.

The smaller of the two children clung to, what Izuku assumed was his older brother. Both were too skinny, and the smaller (younger?) of the two looked several minutes away from toppling over.

“I’m Izuku.” Midoriya greeted. The kid that bit Toshi snarled and reached out a hand, only for it to be grabbed and pulled away.

“Shigaraki.” The smaller sibling interrupted, shooting his brother a look. A silent conversation passed between them, and Izuku let them. No one knew what their quirks were, but judging by the fact that the yakuza had them, he was sure it was powerful and dangerous. Worst case scenario, he asked for Miss Eri and got Tenko in here to provide a pep-talk.

and knocked my front teeth. -

“Babysitting?” Touya asked, dropping his bag and removing his shoes. Tenko nodded. Around him, there was what appeared to be the entirety of Tenko’s comic collection. One child was eagerly engrossed, chattering excitedly at his brother. The brother glared at everyone, tracking their movements. He hoped Tenko had told his boss that he wasn’t keeping the brats overnight. Being roommates with a hero-ling was one thing. Being dragged into a literary trope was another, and as much as he enjoyed his college courses on such books, he didn’t want to live one.

Tenko got up and pulled Touya into the hallway, just far enough that they could talk but not far enough that Tenko couldn’t lean back and keep an eye on them.

“Midoriya-san is working on placement, but well. He was of the opinion that our apartment was the safest place for him. The yakuza are after them.”

Touya snorted. Of course Tenko got dragged into this.

“Well, Deku isn’t wrong. We’ve got what, four heroes and an almost doctor here? If Himiko can make it, we can add one spy to the list.”

“She’s not a spy.”

“Uh-huh. And Iguchi hasn’t adopted half his class.” Tenko opened his mouth to negate that statement but a pale-haired child peered around the corner.

“Who’s a spy?” of course that was what interested the angry child.

"You and I have a long walk home."

This would be a FMA fic, mostly because I want to just have shenanigans as Ed and Al get kicked off a train and have to walk back. Post the end of the series and they go through a town they’ve been through before. Very soft and very sweet. Some Teacher!Edward and alphonse getting to do a lot of things he couldn’t the first time around, like pet all the barn cats and fondle the freshly washed wool and being buried in cuddly sheep.

"We decided not to cry."

"The tears of a mermaid.” Ginko set the small bottle on the witch’s desk. She picked it up, tilting it before leveling a skeptical glare at him.

“These certainly aren’t.” She set the bottle down, but stopped him as he went to put them back in his pack.

“It doesn’t mean I don’t want them. I do want the story. What happened to the real tears?”

Ginko smiled, sitting down. The witch leaned over and lit another stick of incense. He voiced his thanks before launching into the story.

plot: mushishi episode basically. Will contain mermaids, mer-other things, and some potential murder.

#dashboard games #Vin Robles #BNHA fic #FMA fic #Well ideas at least.#dadzawa adopt dabi #Mailbox

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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Back to the Future: The Real Johnny B. Goode Rocked Long Before Marty McFly

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Back to the Future is a classic comedy, one of the most popular films in motion picture history. Almost every laugh line lands with a perfectly executed punch. Every skateboard flip is a motion picture wonder. It’s one of those films which is broadly silly yet still has heart, and it’s a treasure of commercial cinema. But when Michael J. Fox’s Marty McFly straps on a cherry red Gibson ES-345 he plunders the golden oldies right out of the fingers of the true original. Ignore the bit where “Marvin Berry” calls his cousin on the phone. Chuck Berry didn’t just write “Johnny B. Goode,” he was Johnny B. Goode.

The song about the country boy who could play guitar like ringing a bell could have referred to any number of musicians, from Buddy Holly to Bo Diddley or Ricky Nelson. But the singer-songwriting guitarist who penned the line was born at 2520 Goode Avenue, in St. Louis.

Berry had already made his concession to white commercialism by changing the line “that little colored boy could play” to “that little country boy.” Oh my. But then for years, the Father of Rock and Roll watched the self-styled King of Rock and Roll, Elvis Presley, put his stamp on Berry’s signature. The royalties were sweet though for Berry, and the respect was mutual.

But the backhanded homage in the time-traveling 1985 comedy is really a cheap gag, and the joke is at the expense of Berry’s legacy.

“Long Distance information? Get Me Memphis, Tennesse”

“Chuck! Chuck, it’s Marvin, your cousin, Marvin Berry. You know that new sound you’re looking for?” the fictional bandleader yells into a pay phone at the 1955 Enchantment Under the Sea dance in Hill Valley, California. “Listen to this!”

We then hear the subtle sound of casual racial invalidation. Not only does the line denigrate Berry’s contribution to the architecture of rock and roll; it completely sidelines guitarist Carl Hogan who initiated the opening guitar phrasing on Louis Jordan’s 1946 pre-rock and roll song “Ain’t That Just Like a Woman.” Think, McFly. Think!

Michael J. Fox already has a perfectly winning comic ending to the now-iconic scene: when his fingers stretch back to the future, and he channels Eddie Van Halen on the guitar, even the kids at the 1950s dance think he should act his age. So why does director and co-screenwriter Robert Zemeckis feel the need to shit on Chuck Berry with such a disposable throw-away gag? It is even more insulting when you take into consideration who Berry had to sue over the course of his career for stealing his riffs.

Indicative of a long-standing music industry tradition, the two biggest names in white rock and roll, the Beatles and the Beach Boys, had to cough up to the pioneering artist after infringing on his copyrights. Berry sued to get his name on the Beach Boys’ hit “Surfin’ USA” while John Lennon agreed to cover two songs owned by Berry’s publisher in exchange for copping lines from “You Can’t Catch Me” for the song “Come Together.”

But Lennon still declared “If you tried to give rock and roll another name, you might call it ‘Chuck Berry,’” when he introduced him on The Mike Douglas Show in 1972. “In the 1950s, a whole generation worshipped his music, and when you see him today, past and present all come together, and the message is Hail, Hail Rock and Roll.’”

He Could Play a Guitar Just Like a-Ringin’ a Bell

Berry was the first-ever Rock & Roll Hall of Fame inductee, and in the same class as James Brown, Ray Charles, Fats Domino, the Everly Brothers, Buddy Holly, Jerry Lee Lewis, and Presley. With songs like “Maybellene,” “Roll Over Beethoven,” “Little Queenie,” “Havana Moon,” “Wee Wee Hours,” “Rock and Roll Music,” and “Sweet Little 16,” Berry scored the soundtrack to the 1950s.

Berry didn’t invent rock and roll. Ike Turner is credited with that for his 1951 song, “Rocket 88.” Berry recorded his first hit “Maybellene” in 1955 at Chicago’s Chess Studios, the home of the blues. Berry sped up the blues to a country thump and let his fingers do to guitar strings what lips did to horns.

Berry made rock and roll fun, funny, and subtly rebellious. The teenager in “You Can’t Catch Me” is motorvating away from the cops. His “Brown Eyed Handsome Man” hit a home run with color coded racial pride. The artist who was glad, so glad, he was “living in the U.S.A.” (in the song “Back in the U.S.A.”) was barred from many of the things he found so wondrous in this country to sing about.

Almost Grown

Charles Edward Anderson Berry was born on Oct. 18, 1926. His St. Louis neighborhood, “The Ville,” was segregated. His great-grandparents were slaves. In 1944, Berry was arrested for driving along in an automobile he carjacked at gunpoint after robbing three stores in Kansas City. He did a three-year stint in reform school.

Berry began playing music professionally when he was in his mid-20s, sitting in with local bands like piano player Johnnie Johnson’s group, Sir John’s Trio. Blues icon Muddy Waters suggested Berry bring his songs to Chess Records where Howlin’ Wolf, the Moonglows, and Big Bill Broonzy were recording sides. Label owner Leonard Chess had a good feeling about the song “Ida Red.”

Movies

The History of Back to the Future Began With a High School Yearbook

By Chris Cummins

Movies

The United States vs. Billie Holiday: The Federal Bureau of Narcotics Was Formed to Kill Jazz

By Tony Sokol

Berry renamed the song “Maybellene” when he recorded it on May 21, 1955. It was Berry’s first nationwide hit. He was 28. Willie Dixon was on bass, Johnnie Johnson played piano, Jerome Green shook maracas, and Ebby Hardy beat the drums. Alan Freed and Russ Fratto didn’t do anything for the song, but their names are on the credits as co-songwriters. They effectively collected royalties for teaching Berry a valuable lesson.

Chuck Berry wrote all the songs on his first album, After School Session, which was released in May 1957. It was the same for his next two albums. Berry didn’t include any covers on his albums at all until his fourth album, Rockin’ at the Hops, released in July 1960. Berry starred in some of Alan Freed’s jukebox movies like Rock Rock Rock!, Mister Rock and Roll, and Go, Johnny, Go! He also appeared in Jazz on a Summer’s Day, a 1959 documentary about the Newport Jazz Festival.

“No Need to Be Complainin’, My Objections Overruled”

Berry was arrested in St. Louis, Missouri, in December 1959 for transporting Janice Norine Escalan, a 14-year-old hatcheck girl at Club Bandstand in Juarez, Mexico, across state lines for “immoral purposes.” He was charged under the Mann Act. Berry argued he was offering legitimate employment. An all-male, all-white jury found him guilty on March 11, 1960. Berry appealed, but the conviction was upheld at a 1961 trial. Berry was sentenced to three years. He served 18 months and was released from prison in 1964.

Berry’s career never quite took off again. He had some hits in 1964 and 1965, “Nadine,” “No Particular Place to Go,” “You Never Can Tell,” and “Promised Land.” He was one of the artists in the 1964 concert film The TAMI Show. Berry’s last number 1 hit, “My Ding-a-Ling,” was recorded live in London in 1972 for The London Chuck Berry Sessions album.

Berry never stopped playing live. He traveled with only his guitar and a briefcase for his money, and would grab local bar bands to back him when he hit town. Everyone knew Chuck Berry songs. Simple, three-chord pangs to teenage love, cars and safety belts. Bandleaders like Bruce Springsteen and Steve Miller eagerly lent their fingers and bands to the light traveling guitar player. Most groups were thrilled to get the chance to play for a legend when they weren’t harangued for bending a string too far on an intro. Not even Keith Richards got away with that, just watch the rehearsal portion of the 1987 documentary Hail! Rock ‘n’ Roll.

The Rolling Stones’ guitarist had already been brought in as a surprise backing player for a 1972 Los Angeles show where he was kicked off the stage for setting his amp too loud. Berry would also give Richards a black eye for touching his guitar after a New York City show a decade later. Richards’ early guitar work is modeled on Berry’s style. The Stones covered “Carol,” “Around and Around” and “You Can’t Catch Me.” Richards inducted Berry into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1986.

Back to the Future is really just a light, inoffensive, time-bending screwball comedy, and Berry has been the butt of far worse jokes. Spy magazine alleged Berry secretly filmed women in bathrooms. In January 1990, High Society claimed to be “the only magazine with the balls to show Chuck’s berries,” when it published photos of him posing nude with different women.

So when you read an article about Berry recalling the incident where the white kid played “Johnny B. Goode,” remember: it ran in The Onion. Chuck Berry could be accused of a lot of things, but he was an original.

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worryinglyinnocent · 2 years

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Fic: Diverging Paths (15/31)

Summary: Xerxes falls and the only two survivors walk away from the dead city.

Years later, Homunculus meets Trisha Elric and sires two sons with her before vanishing into the night, whilst Hohenheim tries to foil his doppelgänger’s schemes.

Years after that, Edward and Alphonse Elric are caught up in the middle of it all…

Rated: Teen

[One] [Two] [Three] [Four] [Five] [Six] [Seven] [Eight] [Nine] [Ten] [Eleven] [Twelve] [Thirteen] [Fourteen] [AO3]

Fifteen

“Al?”

“Yes, brother?”

“Has anything gone right for us over these last few days?”

“Well…”

“We successfully captured a homunculus that then broke out and ate me, Lan Fan lost her arm, we found out that we nearly killed our mother, we found out that our father probably killed her the first time around, we found out that she’s sort of alive but has no idea who we are; Lieutenant Hawkeye is in the hospital, Mustang’s about to have a heart attack, Scar’s vanished without trace, and on top of that, we’ve just discovered that the entirety of Amestris is a giant transmutation circle that’s going to get activated and kill everyone in a few months, because our father, who isn’t even human, wants to make himself into God.”

“That does just about cover it.” Al sighed. “I guess there are some positives to it all though. We met Hohenheim and his homunculi and we know that they’re working to try and stop the impending apocalypse. Ling, Lan Fan and Fu have gone to Rush Valley to get a new arm for Lan Fan, and we set them on that path. We know that Father’s homunculi can be destroyed and we know that three of them already have been. And we know that despite everything, Mom’s alive.”

Ed nodded. “I guess we ought to be grateful for the small things, huh.”

There was a persistent tapping at the window, and Ed raised an eyebrow before going over and opening the curtains. Patience was leaning on the window frame, and they gave a genial wave as Ed rolled his eyes and opened the window.

“I thought I’d come and see how you were doing after all the excitement of the last few days,” they said. “Dili and Hohenheim were worried about you.”

Ed sighed, stepping back to let Patience into the room. “We’re ok. Kind of stuck back at square one with no idea where to go from here and no idea who to trust.”

“Well, that’s something I can’t really help with, I’m afraid, but if you’re looking for something to do next, then we can always use more recruits to help us stop the end of the world as we know it. Really, we need as much help as we can get. There are only eight of us at the moment and whilst we’ve got more than enough enthusiasm, the fact remains that seven of us can’t do alchemy and the one that can is a hermit.”

Ed gave a snort of laughter, and he wondered what it would take to get Hohenheim to leave the catacombs for a meeting with Mustang.

There was a knock at the door, and Patience leapt into the closet to hide as Ed went to open it just a fraction, peering around the frame. There was a soldier outside, not one whom Ed recognised, and he could tell from the stars and bars and he was just a sergeant and likely newly promoted.

“Mr Elric, sir, I have orders directly from Fuhrer Bradley, he’s asked me to escort you to Central Command immediately.”

“What’s all this about?”

“I am not at liberty to say, sir.” The sergeant shifted uncomfortably. “That is to say, he didn’t tell me.”

Ed and Al exchanged a look and Patience peeped out of the closet, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, I think it’s more than our lives are worth to go against a direct order from the Fuhrer,” Ed said eventually. “All right. Give us a minute.”

He closed the door and Patience stepped out of the closet fully before heading to the window to make their escape.

“I don’t like this,” Ed muttered as he grabbed his coat and packed up their things into the suitcase. At least that was one advantage of travelling like this; they could pack up their entire lives and not leave anything behind. “This can’t be for anything good, and now that we know that Bradley’s a homunculus, I think we can probably work on the principle that he knows we know.”

“It feels like we’re walking straight into the lion’s den,” Al agreed.

“Well, I’ll stop by again at the same time tomorrow and if you’re not here I’ll send the others on a raiding party into Central Command,” Patience said. “We know all the secret passageways, we should be able to get you out in no time.” They waved and bounded out of the window, leaving no indication that they had been there at all.

Ed didn’t know whether to be reassured or terrified by that statement. “Ok. Let’s go.”

They left the room; the sergeant was still waiting for them. The journey to Central Command was made in tense, awkward silence, neither Ed nor Al wanting to speak and potentially let slip anything that could make this sergeant wonder what the hell was going on and report it back to Bradley, who could make their lives even worse than they were already about to be made.

Eventually Ed spoke, trying to get the lay of the land.

“Do you know if Lieutenant Hawkeye is still in the hospital?” he asked.

“Yes sir, she is, but the doctors are confident that she will make a full recovery, and the Fuhrer himself has taken charge of her continued safety.”

Ed really did not like the sound of that at all.

The Fuhrer was waiting for them in the main foyer of Central Command, all of the other soldiers giving him a wide berth; indeed their escort also scampered away as soon as he had handed them over.

“I’m glad you answered my summons, Elrics,” Bradley began, his demeanour disarmingly mild considering everything that had happened over the past couple of days. It made Ed’s skin crawl, knowing that this was just the facade he put on to keep his power over his underlings, and that his true nature was so much darker. “In light of recent events, I think it’s important for all of us to know where we stand. Come with me.”

They entered the elevator to take them up to the Fuhrer’s office on the almost-top floor of the building, and the ride was agonisingly slow.

“Now that we have the chance to speak in private, I have no qualms in giving you a direct warning to stop meddling in things that are out of your control and far above your concern.”

“Yeah?” Ed snorted.

“Yes. To sow the seeds of dissent within the military now, at this most crucial stage of our plan, would be nothing short of treasonous. I know what you’re going to say,” he continued before Ed could get any words out. “But I really would hate for anything to happen to your charming automail mechanic. Rush Valley can be a dangerous place, after all. So much heavy machinery and molten metal.”

“Winry has nothing to do with this,” Ed growled.

“On the contrary, she has everything to do with this, since she’s the most effective way to ensure that you toe the line. Do I make myself understood?”

“Yeah, clear as crystal. You’ve already got Hawkeye under armed guard to keep Mustang on a leash and now you’re threatening Winry to choke me and Al.”

“Yes, that’s an accurate summation.”

The elevator doors dinged and began to roll open onto the Fuhrer’s office. “But don’t take it personally, Elrics. The orders come from a higher power than I.”

The figure sitting in Bradley’s imposing chair was horribly familiar, and this time, there could be no mistaken identity, not like with Hohenheim. This man, with his expression so cold and cruel and superior, was definitely their father.

“Ah, the Brothers Elric. Thank you, Wrath.”

Bradley gave a slight bow and stood back, guarding the door. It was kind of strange to see him in such a subordinate position, the most powerful man in the country reduced to a mere lieutenant, but it had never been clearer that Bradley was not really the most powerful man in the country.

“Do take a seat.”

Ed and Al sat, unable to do anything else, just staring at this mythical man in the flesh, for the first time in memory for Ed and the first time ever for Al.

“I’ve been watching your progress through the State Alchemist programme with great interest, Elrics. I must say that I’m impressed with your scope. I had not anticipated you being quite so young.”

Of all the many tumultuous emotions jostling for space in Ed’s veins at that moment, rage rang out the loudest and clearest and boiled over.

“What the hell is it to you?” he asked. “You weren’t exactly interested in us when we were babies. You left before Al was even born!”

“Please. I’m hardly interested in you as my offspring, that’s merely a natural consequence of what I had to do to ensure your use to me as sacrifices, which interests me far more.”

Ed could not believe what he was hearing. He didn’t want to believe what he was hearing. At the same time, after everything that he had learned about his father in the last few days, he absolutely believed what he was hearing.

“You mean that we were a part of your plan from the start? You meeting Mom, having children with her… that was all just part of your grand plan?”

“What else would it be? Although the freedoms of human form were indeed fascinating for a while, they soon grew tedious, and there was no other reason for me to concern myself with the petty love affairs of small mortal minds.”

“You created us specifically to be sacrifices,” Al said quietly. “You intended for us to perform human transmutation. You knew that we would try it.” The little pause before he spoke again dropped the temperature in the room by several degrees. “You made Mom get sick and die.”

“The alchemy involved in transmuting living tissue is really quite simple for an experienced alchemist,” Father said calmly. “Just a little switch in her lungs and lymph nodes to leave her susceptible. She wouldn’t have noticed.”

The blood was pounding in Ed’s ears, the heat in his face searing, and he leapt forward, with no intent other than causing his father as much pain as physically possible. He didn’t even get close, the arms of the chair snaking around him and pulling him back down, holding him tightly. Out of the corner of his eye, Ed saw that Bradley had drawn his sword and was halfway towards them. Their father hadn’t moved a muscle, and he just gave Ed an unimpressed look.

“Brother!” Al clapped and reached out towards the chair arms as they strapped Ed down even tighter the more he struggled against them, but nothing happened, not even the slightest spark.

“Please don’t embarrass yourselves, either of you. It’s pointless to try and use your alchemy at this point in time. Remember where you are. This country has been shaped to my specification for centuries now, and I have more power over it than you could possibly imagine.”

“She loved you,” Ed growled, the revelation of his nullified alchemy still secondary to the confirmation that this man had killed their mother. “She loved you, and you killed her.”

“I know. It was quite pathetic really but I can’t deny she served her purpose well.”

“I’m going to kill you.”

“No, you’re not, because let’s face it, Edward, without your alchemy you are nothing, and you are currently without your alchemy.”

Although Edward was still seething, he had to accept that there was nothing that he could do right now, and he sat back in his chair, its grip on him relaxing slightly but not letting him go fully.

“You did this to our teacher too. You made sure that her baby would never be born alive so that she’d try to bring him back. How many times have you done this?” he asked, teeth gritted to try and stop him shouting. “How many lives have you ruined to try and get your precious human sacrifices?”

“As many as necessary.” Father was so flippant about the whole thing, so uninterested in the human lives he had caused to be wasted. “Please don’t take it personally, you’re hardly special in that regard, as impressive as your prodigious talent is. Now, I hope that we understand each other and we don’t need to have this conversation again. We are on the verge of achieving greatness that has never been seen before. Do not get in our way.”

Ed fumed, desperate to have the last word, to say something that would elicit a reaction from the bastard, to rile him up in the way he had riled Ed, to get an emotional response, any kind would do.

“No, I think you’ve made things very clear,” he said eventually. “I just have one more question.”

“Yes?”

“We won’t get in your way when it comes to your mad scheme to kill everyone and destroy the world. There’s too much at stake for that. But can we at least continue to try and get our bodies back?”

Father considered this for a moment. “I see no reason why not,” he said eventually, “although I can’t foresee you having a very fruitful journey in that respect.”

“You’d be surprised,” Ed growled. Father ignored him, and the chair released its grip fully, returning to the inert item of furniture that it had been before.

“I think that will be all. I’m glad we’re on the same page. Wrath, these two can go now.”

Bradley opened the door, indicating for the two of them to follow him through it, and Ed stomped down the corridor, going over all of the things he could have, but probably shouldn’t have, said to his father. If there was one thing that was certain now, it was that Ed definitely no longer considered him to be a father. He was a gene donor, nothing more, and it made his skin crawl to think that he shared his genes with that monster in the first place.

They reached the foyer of Central Command again, everyone continuing to give Bradley a wide berth as he saw them to the door.

“Be careful now, Elrics.” It sounded so mild and concerned, but Ed could see the threatening look in his visible eye. They wasted no time in getting out of Central Command and getting as far away from the imposing building as they could.

“I want to check in with Winry,” Ed said eventually as they walked down the street away from Central Command. “We can’t tell her outright what’s going on, they might have the phones tapped, besides, we don’t want her to worry about us and what’s happening up here. But we need to check that she’s safe.”

“We can ask Ling and the others to look out for her. They won’t be going back to Xing until Lan Fan is healed enough to travel, so Fu and Ling could act as bodyguards for her for a while.”

They headed down towards the nearest phone booth, Al leaning in whilst Ed dialled. The ringing as it connected was way too loud.

“Atelier Garfiel, Winry speaking.”

“Hi Winry, it’s Ed.”

“Hey Ed. Is your arm busted again? I only left you a week ago!”

“No, no, the arm and leg are both fine.” Ed would have been offended that the first thing to come to Winry’s mind when he called her was that he’d broken his automail again, but considering how often it had happened in the past, he probably couldn’t blame her. “I was just calling to check that you were ok.”

“Yeah, I’m good. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You know, after everything that happened in Central. I was concerned.”

“That’s unusual for you.”

“Hey! All right, if that’s what I get for trying to be nice, I won’t try again.”

On the other end of the phone, Winry just laughed. “I’m kind of touched that you’re concerned. But I’m ok, honestly. I’ve got Ling and the others here keeping me on my toes.”

“Actually, if Ling’s there, can I speak to him?”

“Sure, I’ll go get him.” There was a long pause. “Take care of yourselves, ok? Stay safe.”

“Yeah. You too. Stay safe, Winry.”

“I will.”

There was a shuffle on the other end of the phone as it was handed over.

“Hey Ed. How are things?”

“Ok. A lot’s happened in the last couple of days.” In the last couple of hours, more like, Ed thought to himself. “How’s Lan Fan?”

“She’s doing ok. As stubborn as ever. When Winry told her you’d got through your automail rehab within a year, she vowed to do it in six months, and she’s now trying to convince Fu that it should only take her six months because she’s only got one arm to deal with whereas you had an arm and a leg, so obviously it should only take half the time. I don’t think he’s buying it.”

“I’m glad she’s ok. Listen, Ling, whilst you’re in Rush Valley with Winry… just… make sure everyone’s safe, ok?”

“OK.” There was a long pause. “I’m not going to ask why, but you have my word.”

“Thanks, Ling. Hang in there.”

“We will. Good luck homunculus hunting!”

Ed rolled his eyes as he hung up, before letting out a long sigh of relief.

“It doesn’t sound like Winry has any idea what’s going on, so that’s good. She can just get on with her life in peace until we can do something to get her to safety again. Why do I get the feeling that we’ll be into faked deaths and madcap missions to Xing soon?”

“Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.” Al sighed. “We should probably think of a way to warn Teacher as well. If she’s a sacrifice too because she performed human transmutation, then Father and the military will probably be looking for her.”

“Yeah, you’re right. We should try and let her know if we can.”

“Do you think we ought to tell Teacher about Pasha?” Al asked.

Ed shook his head. “No. It was different for us; we found out how the homunculi were created first and then had to know whether Mom was the same. Teacher doesn’t know about the homunculi. We should probably leave it alone. It would only cause her more pain to know that her child’s here in Central and she can’t be his mom right now.”

Ed dropped a couple more coins into the phone and dialled the number for the butcher’s shop in Dublith. There might not be much that they could do to help their teacher, and after all, she was more than capable of taking care of herself, but the least that they could do was to try and warn her that Central would be coming for her.

“Curtis Butchers.”

“Hello Teacher. It’s Ed.”

“This isn’t like you to ring. Is everything all right?”

“Yeah, yeah, we’re fine. We’re just…” Ed racked his brains to try and think of the best way to tell Teacher about everything that was happening without actually telling Teacher about anything that was happening. “Look, you remember what we talked about when Al and I were down in Dublith? About the Philosopher’s Stone?”

“Yes, of course, Ed, what’s the meaning of all this, you’re not making any sense…”

“Your hunch was right,” Ed said quickly, cutting her off.

“Oh.” Teacher’s voice was very soft on the other end of the phone. “Oh. I understand.”

“You know that Bradley tried to recruit you to the State Alchemists whilst we were there? Well, I think that he might renew his interest, if you know what I mean.”

“Yes. I know what you mean.” At least Ed was convinced that Teacher really did know what he meant and would act on it accordingly. “Don’t worry about us. You two stay safe in Central.”

“We will. Thanks, Teacher.”

“Thanks for calling, Ed.”

He hung up again, letting out a sigh of relief. There was nothing more that they could do for their friends and family now. All that remained was to work out what the hell to do next.

And potentially warn Hohenheim that their theory had been correct, and that Father was now rattled enough to start taking hostages to ensure that his plan went off without a hitch.

#FMA Brotherhood #FMA Fanfiction #Edward Elric #Alphonse Elric #Fic: Diverging Paths

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