#emo: funny

[lannasroleplaymemes]

Malaphor Sentence Starters

Malaphor: A mix between two or more idioms or phrases.  Adjust pronouns, perspectives, etc. as necessary!

"We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it." "You have to walk before you can have your cake." "It's not rocket surgery." "You've opened this can of worms, now lie in it." "Don't beat a dead gift horse in the mouth." "Don't bite the hand that rocks the cradle." "Imitation is the highest form of flattery, but flattery will get you nowhere." "We'll sit in our ivory tower while Rome burns." "Don't put all your chickens in one basket before they've hatched." "All's fair, but 'almost' doesn't count." "A stitch in time gathers no moss." "You can lead the horse to water, but you can't take the water out of the horse." "Build a man a fire and he’s warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he’s warm for the rest of his life." "Always look both ways before brushing your teeth." "A bird in the hand is worth two killed with one stone." "A penny saved is worth two in the bush." "Two peas in a pod are worth two in the bush." "This may be water under the bridge, but blood is thicker than water." "If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t throw stones." "If we can’t grab the bull by the horns, we’ll milk it dry!" "He’s not the sharpest needle in the haystack." "It’s not over until the fat lady kicks the bucket." "There’s plenty of girls in the sea." "The squeaky mouse gets the oil."

[mostly-funnytwittertweets]

[clawnoire]

going thru my screenshots to find something else but found this trisha video screenshot instead

[daily-spooky]

credit/source

[riordanverse-madness]

I love Nico so much for this

[chiricat]

ryomina demons are winning

[pink-key]

I listened to a lot of 6arelyhuman Got that that urge to put him in that fashion He wouldn't wear anything close to that in his regular day-to-day life lmao Enjoy some of that boom boom music

[ben-dropdead]

ME TBH

[shardsofswords]

We finally found out what happens if they're together at the same time

They kill panic! at the disco

[starrysharks]

pearly in my OOTD (yes i'm emo IRL feel free to unfollow)

[lannasroleplaymemes]

THIRST TWEETS

Send thirst tweets (either those listed below or your own) to my Muse for their reaction. Tweak as necessary, and feel free to send as Anon/specify they’re not from a specific muse.

"__ could wrap me in duct tape, shave my head, and throw me into a pool full of hot sauce from taco bell and I'd still say thank you." "Somebody tell ___ that my ovaries are ready to produce whenever they need them to. I'm patient." "I don't even know how but I want to suck on ___'s arms." "___ literally makes me want to set myself on fire from their immense sexiness so if they could dial it down a bit k thx" "I'd park my face on ____'s abs." "I was thinking about ___ and my nipples got hard." "Can I just suffocate ___ with my boobs already?" "Use my face as a trampoline." "____ can like, stick their tongue down my throat I guess." "____ could blow my back out if they wanted to." "I want ____ to light me on fire." "___ needs to spread their seed on my back like nutella." "___ could convert my vagina into a storage facility for their antique stopwatch collection if that's what they wanted to do with it." "I want ___ to fuck me so hard my ancestors end up with phantom pains." "____ is thicc and woke." "I'd never call anyone 'daddy', but for __ I may let "I would let ____ break my back like a glowstick." "___ could swim in my bussy and I'd stand by that." "I would let ___ split me in half like a pistachio." "___ can bite my nipple and snatch it out of my body." "My ideal weight is ____ on top of me." "I would not be upset if ____ spit in my mouth. I would use it as mouth wash." "I would let ___ raw me." "I just saw ___ choke a guy with his legs. Do me next." "Wish ___ would rip me apart like a lobster." "____ excudes big dick energy, I'm weak just thinking about it." "____ owns this hole." "I want ___ to fuck me through a wall." "___ could literally snap me in half and fuck me into the next century and I would let them." "I want ____ to smash a laptop on my tits." "___? I will be the most submissive and breedable hoe -- " "___ is single? Send them my fucking way I HAVE HANDS I HAVE HOLES I'M WILLING TO PUT THEM TO GOOD USE." "Don't mind me. Just a hole for ____." "I want to feel ___'s cute moustache on my hole so bad." "___ can run me over and I'd still suck that dick." "____ in case you're wondering, all my holes are free real estate." "I'm literally in love with ____ they could hit me with their car and I'd cum." "___ if you see this just know I wanna use your cum as a face mask." "I want ____ to breastfeed me." "I want ____ to explore my hole until they find another dimension and sends me to it." "I want ____ to wreck me like an iron fist going through a wet sheet of paper." "I would let ___ use me to mop their kitchen floor and I'd achieve orgasm from it." "I trust ____ to destroy my bussy." "____ makes my bussy sing first Soprano." "____ makes my bussy quiver." "___ come sit on my face I will eat your ass like a fudge brownie." "___ is so hot I will pass out" "____ if you read this I am free on Thursday night and would like to hang out please let me know if you are free Thursday night so you can hang out with me on Thursday night when I am free." "If ____ came up to me and said Hi I'd drop everything and plan our wedding right that second." "____ is hot, beautiful, and adorable at the same time and I don't know how that's possible." "____ WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO BE THIS HOT AND LETHAL?" "____ kisses better than kdrama oppas." "How much do you think it'd cost to have ___ step on me?" "I would literally give up my entire life, leave behind my friends and family, just to live in ____'s house as a chair. I would like them to sit on me every day for the rest of my life." "Yo ___ can fuck me up anytime anywhere, I'm always available." "Why won't ____ just give me a feet massage already?" "____ please eat my ass." "Yo I'd let ____ choke me to death with their legs." "___ please choke and straddle me, better yet let me straddle you." "I'd probably cum if ____ punched me in the face." "I don't think I can handle how hot ___ is, I'm crying." "____. HOLY FUCK, STEP ON ME QUEEN."

[mostly-funnytwittertweets]

[shakingparadigm]

modern college au where model ivan comes home late after photoshoots and listens to till's demos for hours on repeat to wallow in his agony (the songs are always for mizi)

[sweets-gun]

Everyday I come onto tumblr and it’s like Gerard way wore WHAT?

[spiraling-trap]

Request : L and Light shopping at hot topic in 2007

they have eachother blocked on myspace