#con: crack

[lannasroleplaymemes]

THIRST TWEETS

Send thirst tweets (either those listed below or your own) to my Muse for their reaction. Tweak as necessary, and feel free to send as Anon/specify they’re not from a specific muse.

"__ could wrap me in duct tape, shave my head, and throw me into a pool full of hot sauce from taco bell and I'd still say thank you." "Somebody tell ___ that my ovaries are ready to produce whenever they need them to. I'm patient." "I don't even know how but I want to suck on ___'s arms." "___ literally makes me want to set myself on fire from their immense sexiness so if they could dial it down a bit k thx" "I'd park my face on ____'s abs." "I was thinking about ___ and my nipples got hard." "Can I just suffocate ___ with my boobs already?" "Use my face as a trampoline." "____ can like, stick their tongue down my throat I guess." "____ could blow my back out if they wanted to." "I want ____ to light me on fire." "___ needs to spread their seed on my back like nutella." "___ could convert my vagina into a storage facility for their antique stopwatch collection if that's what they wanted to do with it." "I want ___ to fuck me so hard my ancestors end up with phantom pains." "____ is thicc and woke." "I'd never call anyone 'daddy', but for __ I may let "I would let ____ break my back like a glowstick." "___ could swim in my bussy and I'd stand by that." "I would let ___ split me in half like a pistachio." "___ can bite my nipple and snatch it out of my body." "My ideal weight is ____ on top of me." "I would not be upset if ____ spit in my mouth. I would use it as mouth wash." "I would let ___ raw me." "I just saw ___ choke a guy with his legs. Do me next." "Wish ___ would rip me apart like a lobster." "____ excudes big dick energy, I'm weak just thinking about it." "____ owns this hole." "I want ___ to fuck me through a wall." "___ could literally snap me in half and fuck me into the next century and I would let them." "I want ____ to smash a laptop on my tits." "___? I will be the most submissive and breedable hoe -- " "___ is single? Send them my fucking way I HAVE HANDS I HAVE HOLES I'M WILLING TO PUT THEM TO GOOD USE." "Don't mind me. Just a hole for ____." "I want to feel ___'s cute moustache on my hole so bad." "___ can run me over and I'd still suck that dick." "____ in case you're wondering, all my holes are free real estate." "I'm literally in love with ____ they could hit me with their car and I'd cum." "___ if you see this just know I wanna use your cum as a face mask." "I want ____ to breastfeed me." "I want ____ to explore my hole until they find another dimension and sends me to it." "I want ____ to wreck me like an iron fist going through a wet sheet of paper." "I would let ___ use me to mop their kitchen floor and I'd achieve orgasm from it." "I trust ____ to destroy my bussy." "____ makes my bussy sing first Soprano." "____ makes my bussy quiver." "___ come sit on my face I will eat your ass like a fudge brownie." "___ is so hot I will pass out" "____ if you read this I am free on Thursday night and would like to hang out please let me know if you are free Thursday night so you can hang out with me on Thursday night when I am free." "If ____ came up to me and said Hi I'd drop everything and plan our wedding right that second." "____ is hot, beautiful, and adorable at the same time and I don't know how that's possible." "____ WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO BE THIS HOT AND LETHAL?" "____ kisses better than kdrama oppas." "How much do you think it'd cost to have ___ step on me?" "I would literally give up my entire life, leave behind my friends and family, just to live in ____'s house as a chair. I would like them to sit on me every day for the rest of my life." "Yo ___ can fuck me up anytime anywhere, I'm always available." "Why won't ____ just give me a feet massage already?" "____ please eat my ass." "Yo I'd let ____ choke me to death with their legs." "___ please choke and straddle me, better yet let me straddle you." "I'd probably cum if ____ punched me in the face." "I don't think I can handle how hot ___ is, I'm crying." "____. HOLY FUCK, STEP ON ME QUEEN."

[strawlessandbraless]

Dean taking on the cw when he finds out Cas could have been balls deep in him instead of that rusty nail

[zephyrchama]

Diavolo really just wants to have some fun and makes all of these constant events at RAD as means to goof off. He wouldn't be able to do this without MC though.

"We're having a relay race tomorrow!" Diavolo announces.

The brothers stare at him in unimpressed silence. Nobody really feels up for it. They've got better things to do than stay at school and get sweaty in yet another of Diavolo's whimsical sports festivals.

"We're having a relay race tomorrow and MC is the baton," Diavolo announces.

Morale soars through the roof.

---

"Barbatos, we need fireworks."

"Young Master, the student council has already used up this month's allotted budget. Can this not wait until next month?"

"MC says this is reminiscent of human world festivities that only happen once a year. It's time sensitive. It can only be celebrated this week, or else it's not the same."

There's a long silence as the two stare at each other, until Barbatos says, "I will ask the newspaper club if we can requisition some of their funds."

---

Diavolo strolls into Purgatory Hall with a smile and news that "we're having a bake-off next week!"

"Didn't we just have one yesterday?" Luke asks. "Our pantry is still full of leftover cookies."

"We did, indeed. But that was a macaron bake-off. This will be a macaroon bake-off!"

Simeon looks serious as he asks "will MC be the judge again?"

Diavolo nods and the Purgatory hall members collectively get up to start researching recipes.

Gottem.

[dani-r]

At the Crack Bang Boom, our biggest comics convention in Argentina, in the middle of the cosplay contest, Bender asked Zoidberg to marry him in front of +5000 people.

The crowd went insane.

And Zoidberg said yes.

[apaethy]

“'You care about nothing…' he was saying. And then he sat up slowly and turned to me so again I could see that dark fire in his eyes. 'I thought you would at least care about that. I thought you would feel the old passion, the old anger if you were to see him again. I thought something would quicken and come alive in you if you saw [Lestat]… if you returned to [New Orleans].' 'That I would come back to life?' I said softly. And I felt the cold metallic hardness of my words as I spoke, the modulation, the control. It was as if I were cold all over, made of metal, and he were fragile suddenly; fragile, as he had been, actually, for a long time.“

INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE | Season 1 (2022) // Interview with the Vampire | Part IV (1976)

[glow-worms-are-believers]

In the name of love (and gossip) dc x dp

The day had been going normally. Tim had been having breakfast with Cass when Bruce walked in bleary-eyed with a grunt in greeting as he went for the coffee machine. He and Damian has stayed out later than usual yesterday night, as a concession for the fact they couldn't patrol due to tonight's charity gala. Damian was currently staying with Jon, and would be sleeping at the Kent's for a sleepover night.

"Mr. Fenton will be in attendance for tonight's gala," Alfred said as he walked into the kitchen.

Bruce look up so quick, Tim swore he heard his neck crack. "Danny's coming?"

"Indeed, Master Bruce."

"Cat Grant is still on the guest list?"

"Yes, sir," Alfred answered dutifully.

"Perfect," Bruce said as he let a smile stretch across his face before he stood up. "I have some errands to run, I'll see you tonight," he said as he swept outside of the room.

Tim frowned at the strange behaviour before he turned towards Cass who just shrugged and went back to her breakfast.

"Who's Danny?" Tim asked Alfred as he stood up to get himself another cup of coffee.

"Mr. Fenton and Master Bruce were quite close when they were younger. The media went so far as to call them childhood sweethearts," Alfred started as he swapped out the espresso pod Tim had gotten out of the pantry for a decaf one, which had the teen pouting. "When Master Bruce disappeared for his 'backpacking trip through Europe', Mr. Fenton became distressed and made quite a fuss, going so far as offering a reward for information. Eventually, Mr. Fenton acquired a daughter and mostly retired from the public eye." Alfred paused before letting the corner of his lip curl up ever so slightly. "Still, when Master Bruce returned, there was apparently a very explosive and very public confrontation between the two of them. I am told it involved a good amount of tears and shouting."

"Tears?" Tim asked incredulously. Were they talking about the same emotionally-repressed man?

"Just so," Alfred answered with a nod. "They met up a few times since, but it has been a long time since Mr. Fenton was in town. I imagine tonight's gala will be very interesting."

This was disappointingly boring, Tim thought to himself as he sat by the drinks table. Everything had gone as usual, with schmoozing left and right while Bruce charmed the pants off the Gotham elite. Tim sighed. He didn't even have Dick to joke with, since he was on a mission off-planet. Just as he was considering calling Steph to allay his mounting boredom, a hush fell onto the ballroom. All heads turned towards the entrance, where Tim could see a man looking to be in his early-to-mid-thirties walking in with a young woman who bore him a striking resemblance. Both of them were quite attractive and looking very dapper in their obviously high-quality clothes but that didn't justify the crowd's reaction.

In the ensuing silence their arrival had caused, Bruce's greeting of "Danny," seemed very loud. The answering, "Bruce," was just as loud and the two exchanged a charged look and a nod before they both turned away from one another in concert.

Sound gradually came back to its previous level, but now Tim was intrigued. He grabbed a few hors-d'oeuvres and shoved them on a plate as he swerved between guests until he could get up to the balconies, for a better vantage point.

This was the batkids' favourite hideouts during galas, as it was great for making fun of some particularly snobbish guests. Tonight, it would serve for spying on the mysterious Danny.

As the night progressed, Tim noticed both Danny and Bruce giving each other longing looks when the other wasn't looking. On one occasion, Bruce even left a sentence unfinished as he caught sight of Danny, before he shook himself out of it and apologized. His conversation partners just looked at each other with gazes charged with meaning as they brushed off the apology.

At some point, Tim noticed Danny excusing himself from the conversation before he walked out of the ballroom. A moment later, Bruce did the same and followed him out. Tim polished off the last of the appetizer before getting himself back down.

He walked out cautiously, looking around for the two men when he heard voices coming from one of the smaller adjacent hallways. As he crept closer, he chanced a look around the corner to see Bruce and Danny talking to each other. He walked in closer to get a better view, only to quickly duck out of view when Bruce looked in his direction.

As Tim walked back further into the hidden nook, he had to stop himself from shrieking when he came into contact with a body.

"Yo," whispered who Tim now recognized as Ellie, Danny's daughter holding a cup of the punch and looking very relaxed.

"Hi?" Tim whispered back still trying to calm down his beating heart. "What are you doing her-"

"Shhh," she interrupted him, as she looked towards the two men. "They're getting to the good part."

Tim followed her lead and turned his attention back towards the two men.

"... I just wonder sometimes, what could've been," Danny looked into the distance wistfully, before he turned back towards Bruce, longing in his eyes.

"It's not too late," Bruce said passionately as he took the other man's hands. "We can still try again."

"No, Bruce." Danny took his hands away reluctantly, as if the very action was painful. "We're no longer the people we used to be." Then, he smiled, aching and fragile before continuing. "We have different lives now, there's no use clinging to the past."

"Danny please," said Bruce as he raised his hand to cup the other man's cheek tenderly. With a wretched sigh, Danny's resistance seemed to break as he let himself nuzzle into the larger man's palm, looking as if he couldn't help himself from seeking its warmth.

"Well, I'm up," Ellie breathed out before downing her cup. "Wish me luck!" she said as she walked off before Tim could get a chance to hold her back.

"Dad!" she called out loudly, as if completely oblivious to the atmosphere.

Danny tore himself away from Bruce's grasp guiltily as he turned towards his rapidly approaching daughter.

"Ellie," Danny said as he visibly collected himself. "What are you doing here?"

"The party was boring so I went to find you." She pouted. Then, as if just noticing the man, she exclaimed, "Mr. Wayne! We didn't have the chance to talk earlier, it's been so long!"

"Hello, Ellie," Bruce answered back warmly, despite looking still a little raw around the edges. "You've grown a lot since I last saw you."

"Well, I sure hope so," Ellie said jokingly. "It's been what, five years?"

"Yes, it has," Bruce answered, but he was looking at Danny who was doing his best to avoid Bruce's pleading gaze.

"If you're tired of the party already, why don't we go home early?" Danny suggested studiously avoiding the other man's eye.

"Really? We can go?" Ellie asked hopefully.

"Yes, sweetie," Danny said as he ruffled his daughter's head playfully.

"Dad! My hair!" she whined, as she patted it back in place. "Alright, give me a minute to get my bag, then we can go."

With that she started turning away before she stopped herself and turned back towards Bruce. "You should come visit us sometime, Mr. Wayne! Dad wouldn't say it but he misses you." With that, she turned with a twirl of fabric and started walking towards the ballroom. Danny ran a hand through his hair as he sighed.

"You missed me?" Bruce asked, one part teasing and one part hopeful.

"You know I have," Danny looked up at the taller man, sounding defeated yet fond.

"I missed you too," Bruce breathed out as he brought his face closer and closer, until their lips were almost brushing-

"Mr. Wayne!" A voice came from the ballroom.

The spell broke and once again, the two men separated.

"I have to go," Danny mumbled as he took the chance to extirpate himself and start back in the same direction his daughter had gone.

"Danny, wait!" Bruce got out. "Could I really come visit you?" he stuttered out breathlessly.

Danny stopped, but didn't turn around as he answered in a voice clearly rough with emotions. "You'll always be welcome, Bruce. You know that." And then, he walked away.

Bruce kept his eyes glued onto Danny's departing back, until the other man's figure was swallowed in the crowd and disappeared. The sigh he let out was full of melancholy, but when he looked up again, his gaze was determinate. A beat later, he followed Danny into the ballroom.

Tim stayed where he was for a moment, just contemplating everything, before he started to move, but before he could come out of hiding, there was a movement in front of him. Freezing in place, he looked on as Cat Grant came out of what seemed to be her very own hiding spot. She looked around for any witness before she too snuck back towards the ballroom. Tim let his head hit the wall behind him.

What the hell had just happened.

[ladypolitik]

[solargeist]

What finally pushes Grian to leave the watchers? Does he ever reconnect with his adopted mom?

Resentment builds over time.

This isn’t what he wanted. The loss of autonomy, the social and emotional regression. He knows he’s not on equal footing, he knows most of them see him as a pet, they just want to see him perform. He feels lied to, used.

He’s on slightly positive/neutral feelings with his Watcher, but even then he gets overwhelmed, even then he can’t be confident what her true feelings or intentions are.

Turning into a Watcher is also scary. It hurts, he thought he was honestly going to die when his wings grew out. So when his hands occasionally cramp, he’s scared! He looks and takes note of other Watcher’s anatomy, how tall they are, the eyes, the feathers, talons, he just sees torture, and for what? What did he honestly expect from this?

Grian joined the Watchers because he wanted more from his life, the updates were just too promising…. He wanted to build better, bigger, the desire to know more, it’s a selfish reason and he doesn’t know how he’ll ever look his friends in the eyes again. If he does.

The isolation is also maddening, he doesn’t have anyone but the watchers, he can’t go anywhere without one, he can’t talk to anyone, no one actually acknowledges him.

I don’t even know what the final straw could be, you can only stay frustrated for so long, so sick to your stomach for so long. A particularly bad migraine can be enough of a reminder that eyes are going to grow out of his face if he stays.

It ends with tnt and a complete meltdown.

He knows how to fly, he knows how to open portals, he bought his time. If he sees her before he leaves, they say nothing, the eyes say enough for both of them.

Right now I don’t see him ever reconnecting with Her. But he does think about her, when he tells Mumbo about everything he almost refers to her as his mom, he knows that’s what their dynamic was, that’s what she saw, but he doesn’t want to say it out loud.

[princington]

my body is actively protesting against me but only 6 more to go of these bad boys 😮‍💨

[cottoncandiescupcakes]

LOL EVERYONES FACES IN THIS CRACK ME UP

Stede: Why HELLO there. Indeed! I AM devilishly handsome and delightful

Ed: My man Stede is literally boring me to tears but go off I guess

Izzy: FOCKING STEDE BONNET getting me killed typical. I knew it

Jim: I see you and I know what you did. I saw you objectify that old man

Spanish Jackie: HEEEEY GUYS WHAT'S UP. GOOD TIMES.

The Swede: I wöuld like tö thank my möther and pötatöes for this röcking bödy

Frenchie: I actually don't need to Captain a ship I need a nap

Zheng: I spend three hours on my hair for this? Ok. Good to know

[sir-libearian]

Con O'Neill as Ian Lefebvre in pie in the sky. Despite having aged poorly, I have so many strong feelings about this character, especially in relation to s2 Izzy Hands.

So I made an Edit of him, and tried uploading it to YouTube, like the people who did the Val and Cliff edits. But no matter how much I cut it down it got caught by the auto-copyright checker at upload. So, figured I could try uploading the full thing here. Because I just want someone to understand and yell with about Ian and Izzy. And also young Con and his acting.

[strawlessandbraless]

Not the hero we deserve, but the hero we need

[qroier]

will never get over how perfect having a custom bed would be for roier cubito yes ccroier would probably forget to place it down more often than not but whenever there is a chance that cubito is always canonically depression napping his time away, he deserves to be tucked into his bed while it happens

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

Ruby: Guys! Guys! Guys! Monster Con is coming to Vale this weekend!!!! Can we go?! Can we?! Can we?! Can we?!

Blake: Monster Con?

Ruby: It's a convention where people go dressed up in monster cosplay, play tabletop RPGs, monster-centric videogames, Halloween themed goodness, and panels with authors, voice actors, and other big names in the industry! There will also be fan led panels about their interests!

Weiss: You seem... Very interested in this kind of stuff.

Ruby: My birthday is Halloween! Of course I love this stuff!!! (Pulls up a con schedule and agenda PDF on her scroll) Look at all the stuff they got!!!

Yang: Are You Stronger than a Monster? Test your strength in our monster strength challenge, and see where you rank in the realm of monsters.

Weiss: Cosplay Competition: dress as a monster in our single person competition or couple cosplay as your favorite monster/victim duo.

Blake: Meet and Greet with Author: Madre Zech!!!

Ruby: What do you say, guys??? Can we go?! Please?!

Yang: Sure! This could be fun!

Weiss: I don't know, Ruby. This is pretty last minute.

Blake: (zips to Ruby's side) Ruby, as your future sister-in-law, I will go with you to Monster Con even if Weiss wants to be a wet blanket.

Ruby: (starry eyes) Really?! You're the best, Blake!

Blake: Let's go get packed!

Ruby & Blake: (skip away arm in arm)

Weiss: .....Monster Romance author?

Yang: Monster Romance author. But, hey! You could totally win the damsel in distress cosplay if you and Ruby want to go in on it.

Weiss: It would be fun to completely thrash you and Blake in something.

Yang: Oh, it's on, now, Ice Queen! We're gonna mop the floor with you two in the costume contest!

[gracelesstars]

Damn, can’t believe the CW really was like “heeyy... so how about maybe being kinsey 1 perhaps at least...? 👉👈”

[clannfearrunt]

will Con need fillings, a whole ass root canal or a tooth extraction for his highly befucked but very notably completely painless wisdom tooth cast your votes and find out tomorrow morning