#empty and become wind
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novaauster · 2 years ago
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Three-Dimensional Characters
I did it. I’ve cracked the code.
I figured out what dimensions (or graph axes) people are talking about when they say “three-dimensional characters”. It’s “what they know about themself”, “what they don’t know about themself”, “what they show to others” and “what they don’t show to others”.
Like this!
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So, for example, let’s take Katniss Everdeen. Fantastic character, iconic book series. What does she know about herself? That she loves her sister and would do anything for her. That’s the opening knowledge of the book, everything hinges on it. That makes her an active character, because she has this core of belief about herself. 
She shows that she’s angry at the Capitol. It’s imminently important to her that she do so, it makes her feel like she has personhood in a system that’s trying to strip it away. She fights and fights some more, and does not make compromises.
Of course, she doesn’t know that her anger at what is being done to her and her sister, while completely justified and probably her only available coping mechanism, actively harms her chances of survival. Like, a lot. She cannot play along, she cannot make allies (except for Peeta, who puts up with a lot because he knows she can fight better than he can), and thus she is a pretty bad leader. Even so, she makes do and starts a revolution anyway, because most people are just as angry as her.
And, finally, she doesn’t show (to other characters, not to the reader) that she’s terrified. She and her entire home district are in mortal peril, and she’s like sixteen. She doesn’t know how to protect Prim besides fight for her, and she fights so hard and so uncompromisingly that she gets in her own way. It’s an internal conflict and it makes her seem three-dimensional and very human.
These four things are kept in mind in every scene, and get specific based on each circumstance (and they’re a sliding scale too, especially on the “show” axis, she obviously trusts some people more than others). They even change over time somewhat, because she’s a dynamic character. So, yeah.
I’m gonna do the same thing for the characters I’m writing rn under the cut
Keshiro from Empty And Become Wind! He’s so fun and silly and goofy. He knows that nothing can get in the way of his duty as a Raqkesh, and he doesn’t know how to treat his own personhood, outside of his duty, with his charges. He shows that he’s kind of a funny bitch, if someone can’t understand some aspect of his identity (being an airbender, being a Raqkesh, being an agender man, what have you) then he thinks it’s hilarious to lie to them and confuse them further. He shows, to the people he trusts, that being a Raqkesh is a dead-serious thing and violence weighs on a person in the abstract. He doesn’t show, unabstractly, that he’s in pain.
Din from Empty And Become Wind! I love him so much, he’s just a Guy in Situations. He knows that he’s perfectly able to live the life he currently has, and he doesn’t know that he’s gay and the world is a lot bigger than the homophobic little Fire Nation towns he’s been in all his life. He shows that he’d like to meet someone that isn’t absolutely fucking incompetent, and he doesn’t show that, despite the haters, he is capable of whimsy and curiosity.
And those things are all on display during the scene that they meet! Din is guarded because he’s meeting someone who could, to quote popular Disney animated film Aladdin, show him the world and he doesn’t know if he trusts that, Keshiro is being a funny bitch but when someone’s actually in danger he steps up and even risks using airbending to help, and he might tell Din about his charges and the spirits, but he only references his own past (mentions Ther) when it’s imminently relevant that he explains why not having OSHA is bad, actually.
That’s why they’re so fun to write!
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shallowseeker · 7 months ago
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The fight against dark places:
Against running away, against checking out of life forever, against nihilism, against depression, against hopelessness, against suicide.
Against accepting what someone else tells you that you are.
Cosmic entities telling you what you want, how to feel. "Go to sleep." "Become boundless."
"Give up your identity." "I won't be resisted." And if you do resist... I'll find a way to kill what you love, so you won't have a reason to resist anymore.
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"Where if there were no rules? No pain, no prayer... just bliss. For everyone. Forever."
11x07
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11x21
//
Give up your humanity, your smallness
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11x21
"I am the end of your struggle," Amara says. "Angels, demons...you all end up here," the Shadow says.
///
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"Infinite peace, yes? Think about it. No pain. No regrets.
13x04
//
And later.
THIS is the Empty... pretending to be Dumah. It's attacking Heaven to get to Jack, sure.
BUT CONSIDER:
...its troublesome reaction to seeing Cas again. First, the disbelief: "I thought you were supposed to be on Earth." (The Empty can't get to Earth.)
Perhaps, when it HEARS how much Cas cares about Jack; it realizes that Jack is a thing tying Cas to Earth. Or maybe... that it can use this opportunity to get what it really wants: the immediacy of having Cas quiet and willing, "in a place that is worse that Hell."
(I think of: "Hell is Hell for demons, too." If the Empty can't get back to sleep, then... perhaps where it lives is a terrible place to be.)
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"Don't leave me."
*heavy breathing*
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*stare*
///////
BONUS:
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The Empty (in Dumah): "What does it want?"
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"Jack."
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HERE'S THE THING THOUGH.
Does it? Is that what The Shadow really wants? As the audience, we're heavily colored by Naomi's assumption here.
Perhaps after letting Cas go... it realized it wanted Cas back?
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Castiel, run.
Like Amara, who wanted nothingness, for "everything to go away, everyone except you, Dean," ...perhaps the Empty wanted to soak in nothingness... alongside a companion.
Ever since it woke up, maybe it's learned the difference between being alone and being lonely?
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sneeb-canons · 1 year ago
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Headcanon #400: Heart & Mind are usually never a neutral temperature. The area around them is like the sun & moon. Mind's being hot and Hearts being cold. They're body temperatures however contrast that with Mind always feeling cold like metal/machinery and Heart feeling warm like a literal heart.
[more in tags :}]
#chonny jash#cj heart#cj mind#cj soul#depending on how negative or positive they feel makes it either a comfortable temp or an uncomfortable/unbearable temp#also feel like when they're more mutually chill with eachother [like in Light & We're Gonna Win]#they're still opposite temps but coexisting together#like perfect example is a spring & a storm [literal wise not just the songs]#spring being a nice warm breeze & maybe some very light rain. so together its a nice combo & its not too intense to make a storm#and then on the other hand#the storm being the two clashing & even making a tornado since the temperatures & winds are fight so much#the end of StAAS especially is vry musically stormy/tornado like with how the tempo gets faster & their lyrics clashing together too#[which btw chonny added in the tempo speeding up cos that's not in the og & I LOVE that detail SO much]#and then during THA it becomes an uncomfy cold and as Be Born & the beginning of StAAS its an almost unbearable cold#Heart gives up control to Mind so its like if a body *literally* lost its heart#as StAAS gets through its becoming warmer from Mind & then there's the storm feel at the end#TME starts annoyingly hot & gets worse & worse as the song progresses [also kinda like a computer is overheating]#TSE [and also just Soul in general] is neither. a very empty feeling even#since Soul is the shell/vessel [Whole without his Mind & Heart] he has no temperature at all. bro is just empty feeling#at best [or worst] Soul will be a sucky inbetween. if he feels cold & puts on a thicker coat he gets too warm.#if it's too hot. it'll just wear a t shirt but then it gets too cold [kinda like having the flu/a cold]#anyways the bidding is a harsh swapping between the two. changing between who's singing#the duet bit with M&H is similar to the storm but just circling winds that aren't as violent#by Two Wuv & VoaC its much more neutral and peaceful with Soul being able to feel the positive parts to the others temperatures#but thats enough inane ranting#i like the temperature idea can you tell?#most of this idea i got months ago from thinkin more about how the end of StAAS is like a literal storm lol#the og already had fun instruments swelling & stuff that made it have a storm vibe but CJ went ham on his#i love StAAS mayhaps a lil bit
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fictionadventurer · 5 months ago
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It turns out the most fun way to engage with Barchester Towers is to map the characters on to other characters/people from the future that Trollope couldn't have known about.
Dr. Grantley = Squidward (ambitious, a bit pretentious/likes the finer things in life, tries for dignity but is easily angered)
Mr. Harding = Winnie the Pooh (sweet and small and simple and friendly and likes his little songs)
Mrs. Proudie = Mrs. Oleson (very opinionated domineering wife)
Mr. Slope = Rasputin (oily guy who uses spirituality to prey upon women and gain power)
#books#barchester towers#anthony trollope#i can't explain the delight of the sitcommy scene where grantley and harding have just faced the other two#and come away overwhelmed by the horribleness#and grantley's all 'this is war. i am making plans. we have to destroy these people before they destroy us.'#and mr. harding's just 'i didn't like him very much.'#the comparisons are making it easier for me to figure out how trollope's pulling this off#like squidward's annoying and not a terribly good person#but he's nothing compared to rasputin so of course i wind up on his side when this new guy's on the scene#also mr. harding is becoming very beloved#the scene where it mentions that his weakness is doubting himself#so after slope gives his speech condemning music and ritual as empty outward show#and poor mr. harding who loves his music is like 'was i wrong to chant the litany all these years?'#i'm like 'first off. relatable.'#and second i want to give that man a hug and some cookies#i will come and listen to your beautiful choir mr. harding!#in this list i feel like i should have a comparison character for dr. proudie#he's not nice and mild and sarcastic like mr. oleson#mr. collins came to mind but that implies a verboseness and an over-the-top level of bootlicking that's not present here#like you've just got a guy who's willing to go along with the people around him#as long as it helps his ambition he's glad to let himself be used#there's got to be a decent comparison but i can't think of who
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dark-elf-writes · 1 year ago
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Screaming at a god who will not answer for mercy I will not find (want to write and have no words)
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muntitled · 5 months ago
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Tic-Tac-Toe
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Pairing: The Salesman x Fem!reader
Summary: Every Wednesday your schedule consisted of attending classes during the day, and satisfying the needs of a sadist through the night.
Warning: Dead Dove Do Not Eat, Violence, Kidnapping, Isolation, SociallyAnxious!Reader, Blindfolds, Stalking, Knives, Blood, Gore, Stockholm Syndrome, Smut (+18) mdni, Degradation Kink, Praise Kink, Insertion, Fingering, Rough Sex, Erotophonophilia, Dom!Salesman, Sub!Reader, Dacryphillia, Sadomasochism, Gunplay, Deepthroating, Breeding Kink, Unprotected sex
A/N: Hell is empty
4k Words
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You're strapped in a chair, like always, and you are blindfolded because he doesn't trust easily.
It's terribly annoying.
At any point of during and after your little 'arrangement' you could have called the cops. Doesn't he understand that?
Every Wednesday, you're taken from the warmth of your apartment, and you're delivered right back at 00:00 on the dot, every Thursday with barely an inch of life left in your bones. You'd either always come back wet, with semen sliding between your thighs, or with mysterious marks- old and new- crawling underneath your sweater. Whatever mood he was in, he'd always leave you feeling sore.
It should have bothered you.
The thought of seeing this large, domineering shadow-in-a-suit every Wednesday should not overwhelm you with all these feelings of excitement. Instead, you should do like all the mentally ill girls do and just get some fucking help.
But you want him to trust you, for some reason.
Which was utterly ridiculous considering the fact that to him, you were something akin to a porcelain wind up toy for his amusement. You had no business requesting he remove the blindfold aspect but still, you asked anyway. Toy's couldn't be trusted, could they?
"I'd really appreciate it if I didn't have to wear one of these everytime I visit your place." He removes the blindfold, and in a second, your vision is filled with nothing but him. One moment you were in the cozy warmth of your dorm room. Curled up on the couch while your roommate spends her youth effectively- out with boyfriends and friends and everything you didn't have. You answered the front door when you heard his special knock, like you always do. You walked with him to the cab. You let him put on the blindfold. You said 'I'm fine’ when the taxi driver got a little too nosy and you let him lead you away from your boring life.
If only for a few hours.
You'd let him do whatever he wanted for those few hours because such surrender was almost sacred. You forfeited your safety in his hands, to do with it whatever he pleased and in that, you found rest. Whatever happens, happens.
Forget this room- what was essentially his personal dungeon, windowless, red and boasting various torture objects- your eyes are only on him.
"I'd appreciate it if you didn't feel the need to kidnap me anymore? We do this every Wednesday," You become more childish around him and he lets you. Like you forgot you are a fully autonomous university student. There was power in that too. "Surely we've established some sort of trust?” He doesn't respond to you immediately. You crane your head up at him, hungry to lock eyes with his cold, empty slits that enchanted you body and soul.
You are in love with him, perhaps.
That's a logical response isn't it?
You laugh almost.
Listening to yourself try to rationalize your fondness for such a horrible man.
Said horrible man is silent. All you hear is the clicking of his dress shoes as he moves to the leather seat directly across from yours. Your eyes scan over all his movements.
The right corner of his lip quirks up. A small coffee table creates the only distance between you and he bends over to pour you both a generous glass of Brandy on the rocks. You don't drink it. Ever since he's been bringing you here, you never do. He knows this, yet still he pours.
"This relationship isn't about trust." He says finally. Something inside you, that is perhaps a little broken, actually purrs at the sound of his voice. You're hyperaware of your thighs squeezing together on the leather seat. They're spilling out of the sundress you purposely wore today.
Lots of your clothes were for the function of comfort. Your body was full and curvy and not always something to be advertised, unless you wished it to. Tonight, you wanted to show off as much as possible.
A thick leather band is keeping both your wrists locked to the armrests, while he sits back, free and so irrevocably in charge it should scare you. It should. But the sick and incredibly deranged thing is that it doesn't.
Outside, the rain is beating down on whatever building you're in, casting a thick veneer of grey all across the city.
But inside this velvet room... your heart is hammering inside its cage as you watch him undo the buttons of his crisp suit. A black one today. Jet black like his hair.
Although-
"You've got more grey in your hair than last week." You can't help but say.
He tilts his head in inquisition. "Are you insulting me or complimenting me?"
"I'll leave that up to you to decide," you shrug your shoulders as much as you can under these limited restraints. At least he hasn't restrained your ankles this time. Progress. "In here, you're the boss. Right?"
He takes a sip of his drink until finally, you've finally locked eyes. Your bare toes curl and your back arches slightly as you sit a bit straighter in your seat. Like you're in a lecture hall, although he is far more interesting than any of your professors.
"I'm not as young as I used to be," he finally says as he takes one more sip of his drink before bringing his briefcase onto the coffee table. Its presence is ominous and so horribly loud for an inanimate object. It kickstarts all your dormant nerves, revving up all the rest of your senses that have yet to catch up to the fact that you were facing the man of both your desires and nightmares once again.
"Who have you told about our arrangement?" The question causes you to roll your eyes. He watches the petulant movement with that same, silent smile and blank eyes. He unclicks the briefcase. Your stomach lurches and your thighs squeeze together. Pavlov's dog.
"Every time you ask me-" an object clinks onto the table. A butcher knife.
You try to pull your eyes away from the objects he's placing on the table, one by one. "Everytime you ask me if I've told anyone about our arrangement-" another object. A wooden spoon beside the knife. "Everytime I tell you the same thing."
Your throat closes when he uncovers a dildo. Bright pink and fucking menacing. "Carry on talking." He says, snapping your gaze away from the objects lining the table.
"I don't have any friends." Your voice is wobblier. You try to deny the sight of the rabbit vibrator, "It's the reason you picked me." You clear your throat as you hoped to clear all the nerves beginning to fog your mind. "Someone could've followed me here. B-But I don't really know anyone enough to care." The final object that clunks onto the glass coffee table and this time, you're unable to look away.
"Are we ready to begin?"
The metal revolver laying quiet and undisturbed beside the rabbit vibrator makes everything else on the table look like children's toys. Even the butcher knife.
You pull at the restraints, your legs quivering slightly as you shift and writhe in the seat. He studies you as closely as you were once studying him. You can see the excitement begin to flood his eyes at the physical manifestation of your discomfort.
"Now you're getting it." He nods sardonically, taking another sip from his glass before placing the briefcase on the floor beside him. "You were a little too happy to see me," he joked, letting out an airy exhale of laughter.
"You wanna hazard a guess as to what we'll be playing today?" He's smiling, genuinely. With that look in his eyes you can tell he's hovering in the clouds. Meanwhile you've begun to feel real fear. No matter how regular these visits might become you'd never get used to him. It's impossible. Not when he found new and daring ways to torture and pleasure you every single week. You couldn't get used to something as brash and unconventional as him. Like the conditions of a child in a broken home, he kept his tactics inconsistent so that every week is a new hell or perhaps- depending on his mood- heaven.
"If I guess wrong?" You swallow thickly and something dark in him settles. He spreads his legs more, there's a twitch inside his lips before he smiles again.
"Well, guessing isn't the game, so you'll be fine."
You nod your head... assessing the objects. There's menacing objects and household objects. Even just looking at them you can tell what they all have in common.
"Am I going to have to insert-"
"You're not guessing." His voice booms. He rests his elbow on the armrests, his hands corded with veins seem itching to do something, you're not sure what. "I said guess." He commands.
"Hide and seek?"
He snickers, "A favourite-"
"More like your favourite." You snip back, "I couldn't sit down the whole week." You frown at the memory. That week he'd brought you to an abandoned warehouse, letting you run the entire perimeter full.
"It's in your best interest to keep coming to our sessions-" he reminds you, snapping you back into the present.
"You're paying my university fees, I'm not complaining." You nod, before plastering a thin smile on your face, "All I have to do every week is prostitute myself to a literal sadist-"
"Have you given up on guessing today's game?" He didn't like you making him hyper aware of the fact that this dynamic, whatever it is, is considered objectively bad. And so you're not surprised when he swiftly moves past the topic.
He leans forward. His large hand disappears under his chair before uncovering a small whiteboard. Four lines- 2 horizontals are running across 2 verticals, creating 9 blocks. He stands up, while your eye is still focusing on the board. From your point of view it sits underneath the row of objects on the table. You don't even realize your right wrist strap is being untied.
"Colour?" He asks, pushing a crate of whiteboard markers towards you. With your now free hand you pick the pink one.
He snickers. "Predictable." He whispers before placing a large, domineering hand on your head. He presses down your braids, patting you like a stray he's rescued from the cold. You stare aimlessly ahead, fearing you won't be able to contain everything you've begun to feel for him if you lock eyes now.
"We're playing tic-tac-toe," he relents. His hand lingers on your head a bit longer before he's stepping away.
"With a twist, I presume?"
"Clever girl," he nods, walking back to his seat. "So you're aware of the objects."
"Place a gun in front of a girl and she's going to notice."
"Paranoid girl." He tsks before leaning forward.
"You want to start or should I?"
"Wait-" you swallow, "What happens if I win?"
He smiles that dazzling, debonair smile.
"You pick which one goes inside you."
Lightning cracks across the sky. A chorus of thunder roars all at once like some kind of phenomenon and your lips stutter open.
"Th-That's insane I-"
"I shouldn't have to remind you that you came here out of your own volition. "
"What happens if you win?"
"Then I choose." He says.
Your eyes skate over the object. It doesn't take an ivy league graduate to hazard a guess as to which of the objects he's itching to stick inside you.
"There's a fucking knife here-" You're trembling. Tears are pooling in your eyes. It doesn't even matter that you're a somewhat decent tic tac toe player. It doesn't matter that you're confident in this game. It doesn't matter. Nothing matters.
"And there's also a spoon," he nods, neutrally, "And a vibrator, and a dildo. Etcetera. Etcetera." He leans forward, unclicking his whiteboard pen, "your words are just words, Darling. You're just listing things. Start," he says, with a deadly lilt in his voice. "Or I will."
You scramble to uncap your marker with one hand, all while he watches with dead and black eyes. You knew that whoever starts the game was placed at a big advantage and so you're nearly scrambling to place that dignified X in the center block.
"Clever girl." He says once again, drawing his blue 'O' directly beside your pink 'X'. You aim for the block above him. He blocks it. You aim for the block beside the center. He blocks that too.
Your victory comes too quickly. You barely feel it as you strike a line vertically through the blocks. 3 X's.
Relief washes over you but it's overcast with doubt. Like you're celebrating in trepidation as you watch him stand up.
"Congratulations! Which do you choose?"
"I can pick anything?" You ask, staring up at him, bright eyes wild with the adrenaline that comes with wanting to preserve your organs.
"Anything you want, my little winner."
You begin to lean over. His eyebrows quirk up when you wrap a small hand around his wrist.
"I pick that." You say breathlessly. Your eyes zeroed in on his hands at his side. And you watch as he walks towards you, as if compelled by an unforeseen force. His palms are calloused underneath yours and you blow out several unstable breaths as he stands above you. So imposing it's breathtaking.
"You sure?" It's the way he asks it that has you second guessing. And perhaps he sees the caution seeping into your eyes because there's excitement lurking in his. Before you're even able to formulate a response, his hand is locked tightly around your esophagus, vacuuming all pathways shut until you're writhing for air.
"A fine, fine choice," He's becoming more and more riled up the more you writhe in your seat, trying to scrounge for a single breath of air. He doesn't let you. Instead he moves behind you, before leaning down.
If you could breathe, you would shiver at the feeling of his lips behind your ear. "Here we go-" he whispers, before reaching around your torso with his free hand before forcing your legs open. The second he lets his three digits stab into your cunt, he uncurls the grip on your throat as you make a horrid sound somewhere between a moan, a scream, and a haggard gasp. "FUCK- Sl-Slowdown-" you knew better than to request something like that. All you hear is a snicker from behind you as pain blossoms all across your nether regions. He's not gentle. He's not kind. He doesn't allow you to adjust to his fingers before he's scissoring them inside you, causing a blood-curdling scream to rip itself out of your throat. Your back is arched and you're trying to get away from him but the fucking persists.
"You've been wet like this for me the entire time?" He sounds absolutely demented, behind you, "You wanted this didn't you?" He bites at your ear as the first tears begin to pool at your eyes, "My little winner."
"P-Please stop-" His fingers are restless inside you. Curling and uncurling. Scissoring and stabbing as if wanting to open you up and split you all the way in half.
"What a pretty little pussy, huh? Look at what a mess you're making."
"When-" you can't form words. "When- Stop?" It's all you're able to say as your nails dig into the material of his suit.
"The sooner you cum the sooner it stops."
You doubted your ability to cum under these circumstances. He's setting an ungodly pace and it's all so hurried and in a frenzy, it's like your brain does not have time to understand if you even like what's currently being done to you.
"What- Do you want you want my help?" you begin to shake your head. "I'll help you, baby-"
His other hand reaches over and pinches your clit.
Your eyes roll to the back of your head as your orgasm is quite literally forced out of you. Your hips writhe and your ass tries to leave the seat as the first feelings of pleasure rip through you by force. "That's it, Clever girl," he coos, still curling his fingers inside you, "That's my Clever girl." He says once more before stilling his movements. For a second you just sit there, trying to collect your breath while he's still inside you. All at once, his hands are removed from your body.
He grabs a handkerchief from his breast pocket and you watch him clinically wipe his hands before erasing the marks on the board with the same cloth. A very clear boner pushes against his black slacks yet still his face is calm.
"Alright, My turn to start-"
"WHAT!? B-But I won." You scream, absolutely seething with desperation.
"You know everyone who plays 'X' has a significantly higher chance at winning-" You say with your eyes narrowed. He nods.
"And you know that too, which means we each should be granted alternating times to play ‘X’. Regardless if you won or not." You slump in your seat, suddenly far too aware that your bare cunt is exposed.
"Don't mope." He says, "It's not cute." Before drawing his 'X' in the center.
You close your legs, sitting upright with a new zeal of self preservation as you grab ahold of your marker.
You draw your pink 'O' underneath his.
You both play many more rounds. All ending in ties. This is how you play- with a frazzled grip and closed legs. A shiver every now and then overcomes you with the gravity of your aftershocks. His snickers bring your eyes up to his. He speaks as he makes his move.
"You're so focused on blocking," he sighs, "You're not even trying to win anymore-"
"I'm not letting you stick a knife in my cunt." You nod in finality before blocking another move.
"Not even if I say please?" He asks, making a faux pout.
"Fuck off."
"In that case, I have to win."
Your heart kickstarts as he pushes his pen to the board. Images flash across your mind. Blood splattered across his gorgeous face. Your blood as he fucks the sharp end of a knife inside you. You nearly vomit while he speaks. “Easy as-" you block him.
"Tic-" you block him again.
"Tac-" you block him some more
"Toe- I Win."
A victory that somehow escaped your vision. He strikes a line diagonally through the squares and your stomach sinks. He stares at you from across the room. His eyes so deeply satisfied you can feel it radiating off of him in waves.
You lower your teeth to the other restraint, violently trying to free your left wrist from its oppressive hold. And you watch as the devil slowly rises.
Your heart aches. Your brain is sent into complete alarm as your flight or fight kicks in and your sympathetic nervous system fires.
"Now, which one would look pretty inside you?" He drags his fingers along the objects, undoubtedly an act of taunting. You stomp your feet on the ground. You try to push the chair underneath you but it's plastered to the floor.
"Please!" Tears are running thickly. They cloud your vision. You don't even see the way his smile falls enough for him to rub over the bulge in his slacks.
"Fuck," he says gravelly as he relents and picks up the gun. "You're so fucking pretty when you're scared out of your fucking mind. You know that?"
You shake your head as he nears, wondering if this might really be the end. Has your body become too worn out by his games? Has the time for him to discard his toy finally dawned on you both? Is he all grown up with no need for such things as toys?
"PLEASE-NO-"
"Open your mouth." He's standing in front of you, your head directly in front of his raging bulge.
You shake your head, trying to move away but he rips your face towards him. "Listening to me is the only choice you have to make it out alive, Baby. You wanna live, don't you?" He's nothing but a tall figure, with the overhead lights shining around his head like a halo. Your face right by his bulge.
"Little girl needs to go to school." He nods, eyes fluttering shut, "She needs to complete her studies and get a good job so she wouldn't have to meet with scary men like me- Fuck-" it riled him up to no end to have you scared of him. You suppose it triggered a part of him that craved attention. He needed to feel like he existed and if that was reeped from fear then so be it.
"Stick the barrel in your mouth," the bottom of his hand coaxed open your jaw, and, as if on autopilot, you listen. Perhaps there is a way out of this. Perhaps you should just listen.
"That's it... Fuck," he brings your free hand up to rub his erection "That's it, Baby, stick it inside your mouth." Cold metal hits your lower teeth, "Stick it in like you would a cock." He says, looking down at you intently as your tongue unfurls and you suck the barrel in. "Shit-" he places his other hand on the back of your head before forcing you to take the gun deeper down your throat. He's trembling. Far too badly. And so is his finger on the trigger.
"Fuck, you're such a fucking whore, you know that?"
You're gagging and flailing around the barrel, saliva slides down.
So desperate to please him.
In your hast you don't even realize your left hand that had been restrained is now free. Your eyes are closed.
Please him.
Just please him and you'll live.
"That's my brainless girl..." he praises and that rouses something in you. It has your hips bucking against nothing.
"Such a stupid girl..." he continues, "You're gonna ride me, aren't you? You're gonna fuck me so good-" You're not about to tell him that sex wasn't supposed to be apart of this game. You're not stupid.
You faintly hear the sound of a belt unlooping. A zipper siding down. "You're making me so happy, baby." He admits before effortlessly lifting you from the chair until you're straddling him.
You're free.
When did that happen?
"F-Fuck, I need you to ride me." His head is leaning back against the chair. His tie hangs messily from his shirt that has two buttons undone.
You're free.
"Don't try anything," he warns, as he lifts you enough to pull his cock out of his pants. "Matter of fact. Keep it in your mouth while you ride me-" He slams you down onto his cock the very second those words leave his mouth. He's fucking into you with recklessness and fury and violence. His hair falls in his face but the gun is too heavy, without a hand there, it nearly slips from your mouth.
He's careful to catch it, forcing the barrel back in your mouth as he places a hand on your ass, controlling how your ass bounces on his lap. The gun offers motivation like no other. It has you arching your back and swirling your hips as you tighten your cunt around him.
He sticks the gun down too far and you gag. "You trying to get me to cum, huh? You little slut-" you nod, the tears still spilling as pleasure begins to stream through your brain. It has you excited by the prospect of being held at gunpoint. You realize with grave certainty that you've arrived at the point of no return.
"What a good girl- fuck-" he's ramming up into you, his hand on the gun twitching like his cock does. "I'm gonna fucking cum- FUCK-" he does and your orgasm immediately barrels into you at the exact same time. You try to ride him, to milk it as much as you can, to continue to make him happy.
"Such a stupid fucking slut-" he whispers, eyes hooded as his hips still spurt cum into you.
Your ears perk. You see his finger on the trigger move. You squeeze your eyes shut as you hear a click.
"Such a silly girl." You hear him say. "Don't worry, Baby, it isn't loaded." You're still in your body. You're still alive, on his lap, your sundress unfurling around you both.
"Not yet anyway."
© to @muntitled on tumblr; do not repost
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merakidoll · 2 months ago
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the first time choso saw you bent over in the tiny white skirt, he knew you would be taking such a prized possession from him - his virginity!
choso dwelled in being a hot man who had a big dick that hadn’t been touched. but one look at your ass, then in your eyes, he was a gonner like everyone else who crossed paths with you. “f-fuck” he mumbled when you removed his cock from your mouth with a wet pop. a saliva string from your lips to his tip connected you two and it was so hot. “gonna be super duper gentle chocho!” his large bed covered in silk black sheets brought comfort. choso wasn’t scared, but nervous. what if he wasn’t as good as you think he would be? digging your duck nails into his board shoulders you used your free hand to aline him to your fat cunt rubbing his tip up between your pussy lips and circling his head with your clit. you gentle tapped him against your pink puffy clit making pre cum ooze.
“stop teasing” he gritted out, his nails dug into the sheets so tight that some of his red gel polished chipped. his balls were heavy, never feeling this feeling of pain from needing pleasure so bad. with a small wiggle the fat head of choso dick popped into your cunt. a shocked gasped came from your mouth, while choso adam’s apple bobbed. his face becoming red from how hot tight and wet you are. what a welcoming. “oh goddd” you cried out slowly sliding down him, his grith was unexplainable. so fat and long, the best you ever had. once your ass touched his thighs and you sat on him completely you let out a shaky breath.
your big eyes looked at how choso’s eyes were closed as if he was restraining himself. that’s what choso was used to, restraining, but you had his brain so gone. he couldn’t think any thoughts that would usually calm his crazy instincts when he was with you. as if he was blinded by pleasure, choso moved quick flipping you two over and pounding your cunt for all the years worth of pent up agression. “love this pussy, shit” he growled. balls slapping your ass, he enjoyed watching you try to grab anything to run for him. the pleasure knocking the wind out of you. his cock so far deep inside of you that it was hard to breath. “don’t run bunny. take it. you begged for this dick.”
slowing down he leaned down and kissed your wet lips. he pulled back bitting your bottom lip drawing blood that he licked up. your body shook against him, hands shanking as your nails clawed at his back, bow charm popping off. your eyes rolled to the back of your head, squirt shooting out of you and getting all over choso. “thata girl. give everything to your chocho” kissing your neck he stilled inside of you and moaned into your neck, his cum filling you to the brim. when his balls felt empty choso slid out of you, you finally felt as if you could breath. but too soon, as soon as you felt it, the wind was knocked out of you again. choso man handling you on your stomach, and into an arch where he slid back inside of you, smaking your ass. “c-chochoooo i-i can’t!”
tears poured down your cheeks, hands holding the headboard while you moaned, a scream coming from you when his fat thumb massaged your puckered hole slowly pushing in as he fucked you deep and hard. “you can bunny. giving m-my baby everything she wants” throwing his head back choso licked his lip tasting the metal of his lip ring. opening his eyes he was mesmerized by your ass clapping against his cock. he watched more and more cream get on his cock with each thrust. “m’there. fuck bunny!” his body fell on you as his cum came out unexpectedly.
a feeling as if his body was levitating came over him. your pussy clenched and unclenched. the mix of you both coming out of you as you came with him again, then fell into a deep cum driving slumber. with a limp dick and empty balls choso pulled out of you and layed you comfortably in the bed. he stood at the end and chuckled to himself, you could never leave him.
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novaauster · 2 years ago
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did not intend for him to bear a striking resemblance to He-Man but, well, when life hands you a perfectly good reference photo of Mark Hamill’s face, accidentally paint something that looks literally nothing like Mark Hamill’s face.
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stylesispunk · 24 days ago
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"What remains of us"
outbreak! Joel miller x f!reader
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Summary: Joel doesn't die after the brutal encounter with abby because you saved him on time.
wc: 4k>
warnings: angst,mentions of blood, mentions of murder (reader becomes violent), fluff, mentions of broken bones. english is not my first language so excuse my mistakes. Written in a rush.
a/n: so uhmm. How are we feeling? I personally feel broken by the events from episode 2 so I rewrite the story while i was free in the morning to help me cope with the grief and joel is alive.
dividers by @/saradika-graphics
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Something felt wrong in your bones the moment the snowstorm hit harder than expected.
Not just the kind of wrong that came with whiteout conditions and freezing wind — this was deeper. Ancient. It whispered through the trees like a secret from another world, brushing icy fingers down your spine. A warning dressed up as weather. You felt it in your chest, in the weight behind your ribs, where your breath stayed too long before escaping.
Your skin burned from cold, your limbs throbbed with fatigue — but none of it compared to the way your heart pounded. Not from exertion.
From fear.
“Hey, you alright?” Jesse called ahead, pulling his scarf down just enough to glance at you.
You nodded too fast. “Yeah, just—cold.”
Ellie was further up the ridge, carving her own path through the deepening snow with the horse, unaware of how your whole body shook with more than frost. You hadn’t told them. Couldn’t. How do you explain that your body knew something your mind hadn’t caught up to yet? That every step forward felt like walking away from safety?
Your heart was screaming in a language older than logic. Since the morning. Since Joel left before you could fully wake up.
The echo of his voice still lingered in your memory — low and warm, brushing against your ear as you stirred under the covers.
“Get some more sleep, darling”
But he hadn’t kissed your forehead like usual. He hadn’t lingered. And when you finally did get up, your gut twisted when you saw the empty space in the stable, the saddle still had damp with snow.
Joel was out there with Dina; you had no idea under what circumstances. And the sky had turned gray with anger.
You shook your head, tried to focus on Jesse’s voice. Tried not to feed the panic unraveling in your chest like a pulled thread. But the cold in your mind spread, and no matter how tightly you gripped the reins, no matter how fast your horse moved, the feeling remained.
Something was wrong.
You finally found a rundown outpost, an old hunting cabin half-buried in snow and swallowed by pine trees. The roof sagged, one of the windows was cracked, and the door barely held on its hinges, but it was shelter. You and Jesse pulled your horses inside the narrow lean-to out back, while Ellie stomped snow off her shoes and kicked the door open with more force than necessary.
Inside, it was cold and smelled like old weed and damp rot, but you didn’t care.
There was a radio.
You didn’t hesitate. Your gloves were off before Jesse could even say anything. Your fingers moved over the knobs, turning dials, trying to find the frequency Jackson always used for patrol check-ins.
A burst of static.
Then another.
Finally, a signal.
Your breath caught. “Jackson patrol, do you copy?”
Ellie moved closer. Jesse pulled his scarf down, suddenly silent.
“Joel? Dina? Come in.”
Only static.
“Come on,” you muttered, heart hammering, twisting the dial again. “Joel, please, respond.”
Nothing.
The silence wasn’t ordinary. You knew silence. This wasn’t delay. It was absence.
Your body went rigid, every instinct screaming louder than your racing thoughts. Your limbs moved before you made the decision. You were out the door and into the snow again before Jesse or Ellie could stop you.
Jesse called after you.
But Ellie was already grabbing her rifle.
“Where are you going?” Jesse yelled, chasing behind.
“Something’s wrong!” you snapped, swinging onto your horse. “I just know it!”
Ellie mounted up beside you, eyes wide and fierce. “Then we’re not wasting time.”
Jesse hesitated, glancing between you both and the radio inside.
“You don’t even know if that’s where they went—”
“I know,” you growled, already riding. “I feel it.”
Ellie followed without a word.
The snow clawed at your skin like it wanted to peel the truth away. The wind howled as if it knew what was waiting ahead. But you didn’t stop.
Because something had happened.
And Joel and Dina were out there.
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You and Ellie rode hard, the snow whipping across your faces like knives, the hooves of your horses lost beneath the storm. You could barely see five feet ahead — but then, in the distance, a glow.
“Shit,” Ellie hissed beside you, pulling her hood lower.
You followed her gaze. Through the trees, past the slope of the hill — firelight. Orange, flickering, wrong. It wasn't from a patrol cabin or torch post. It rose in a bloom, too wild to be controlled. You slowed your horse as your stomach dropped.
“It’s from Jackson,” you whispered, more to yourself than to Ellie.
It wasn’t the whole town, not yet. But something was burning. And it was enough to send a coil of panic twisting through your gut, feeding that same deep certainty that had been clawing at you all day.
“Come on,” you growled, spurring your horse harder, cutting off the cold fear before it could settle. “We are too far.”
And it wasn’t long before you saw it, the lodge.
It sat crooked and hunched near a clearing, like it had been dropped there by accident. One of the side windows was shattered. Smoke was seeping through cracks in the boarded upper floor. The front door hung ajar, barely moving in the wind.
You pulled hard on the reins. Your horse bucked a little, skidding in the snow. Ellie drew her rifle and slid off hers.
Your eyes locked on two shapes near the side of the lodge.
Horses.
Your heart stopped.
Joel’s and Dina’s.
Both were tied loosely, their coats soaked with snow, hooves pawing nervously at the ground. Alone. No movement near the front entrance. No voices. No patrols. No sounds but the wind and the creak of the old building groaning under weight it wasn’t meant to bear.
You slid off your horse.
“Ellie…” you whispered, your voice barely audible, breath clouding in front of you.
She already had her knife out.
“Oh shit...”
You didn’t wait for backup. Couldn’t.
Because Joel’s horse was here. And he wasn’t.
And whatever was inside that building, you felt it—It was about to break you open.
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The sound of screams of agony and a body hitting the ground echoed down the hallway like a gunshot.
You knew that sound. It was torture. It was pain.
Your boots thundered down the corridor of the lodge, Ellie at your side, a worry and desperate look in her eyes. She’d followed the path like a wolf hunting a pray, her eyes screaming please don’t let it be too late.
You didn’t say a word. Couldn’t. Your heart was stuck in your throat, and the only thing that moved was your body, in fast motion, furious, drawn to the man who should have never left your side in the first place.
Then you saw it. The door, a from inside, screaming slipping from the lips you used to kiss every day. Joel’s screams.
You didn’t wait. You didn’t breathe. You kicked the door open and your world shattered.
Joel was on the floor, a mess of blood and pain and something worse. His legs bent at unnatural angles. One hand barely raised in instinct. His face, bruised, bleeding, one eye swollen shut. His body twitched like it wasn’t sure if it should keep trying.
And above him, a woman. Blonde. Rage carved into her face like she’d practiced it. Her arms raised again, a golf club in her grip, stained red.
She didn’t see you at first. Her eyes were solely focus on Joel, but you weren’t having that.
You roared, not screamed, roared and tackled her with everything you had, all your weight, all your fury. You slammed her into the wall with a force that cracked wood. The club dropped from her hand and hit the ground.
“No more.” you growled.
Her people came fast, like shadows. One tackled Ellie to the ground. Another raised a knife.
But they hadn’t counted on you.
You were already moving, eyes wild, mind gone. You fought like someone who had nothing left but him.
You weren’t skilled like Joel. You didn’t need to be. You were desperate. Right now, you were desperate.
Fists cracked bone. You took hits but didn’t stop. Didn’t feel them. You were pulling someone off Ellie, dragging them by their collar, throwing them into a chair that splintered on impact. You used what you had — a piece of wood, a broken lamp, your fists, your fury.
And they couldn’t stop you. Because you couldn’t be stopped.
The blonde tried to rise again. You met her halfway and slammed her back to the floor. She spat blood. You didn’t flinch.
“Get away from him!” you screamed.
The crack of your shotgun echoed like thunder as the first shell slammed into one of the men flanking her. Blood hit the wall. Chaos exploded in every direction.
“Who the fuck—?!” Abby turned, fury and shock colliding in her face.
You dropped the shotgun, drew your blade, and charged.
The first one that tried to reached for you got a knife through the ribs. You shoved him off like he was made of paper. The next came at you with a bat, you caught the swing and used his momentum to slam him face-first into the fireplace bricks.
“You don’t get to touch him,” you hissed. “Not him.”
Abby swung the club toward your face. You ducked.
Then you hit her. Right in the gut. The force of it sent her staggering back, wind knocked from her lungs.
“You wanna kill him?” you growled. “Try me first!”
She looked at you like she wanted to, but she hesitated.
And that was her mistake.
Because Ellie broke free just long enough to grab your dropped shotgun and aim it at her. “Step back,” she spat, blood in her teeth, voice shaking but solid.
“Now.”
Abby looked between the two of you. At Joel — bleeding, still breathing — at her fallen group. Then she backed off, raising her hands slightly.
“This isn’t over,” she said.
“Yeah,” you snapped, “it is.” You said, pointing your gun right between her brows.
Your shotgun echoed in the stillness of the room.
The blast slammed into her chest, and her body jerked back like a puppet with its strings cut. She hit the floor; eyes wide. No final words. No redemption. Just silence.
Ellie flinched.
You stood over Abby’s body, breath hitching, heart pounding in your ears. The room reek of blood and then there was silence, except for Joel’s ragged breath.
You dropped beside as your knees had finally given out.
“Hey,” you whispered, your voice cracking into pieces. “Joel, look at me. I’m here. I got you.”
His one good eye fluttered open, dazed, unfocused. There was blood crusted at his brow, dried and fresh, a cruel mask across the face you’d kissed so many times before.
“Y-you---"he rasped, voice like torn gravel.
You nodded, cradling his face in your hands, not caring that blood smeared across your palms. “I’m here. You’re safe. Don’t you dare go anywhere.”
His breath stuttered, chest rising too slow, too shallow. His eyes couldn’t stay fixed on you. They wandered, like he wasn’t fully in the room anymore.
“I thought I lost you,” you whispered, leaning close. Your forehead rested against his, warm against cold.
“Hurts,” he mumbled, eyes slipping closed again.
“No, no,” you said quickly, your hands gently patting his face. “Stay with me. I’ve got you. You’re gonna be okay. Help’s coming, okay? Just—just hold on.”
But he didn’t answer. His breathing slowed.
Your heart lurched in panic. “Joel!”
Nothing.
You pressed your fingers to his pulse—still there, but faint.
“Don’t you do this,” you choked out. “You fight, dammit. You’ve been through worse, haven’t you? Don’t you leave me now.”
You’d already faced your worst nightmare. Now you were living in it, holding it in your arms.
Joel lay limp and broken on the floor, his breath rattling against the stillness. His face was swollen and unrecognizable on one side, purple and black with bruising. One eye swollen shut. Blood trickled from his nose, his mouth, the side of his head. His legs—
Don’t think about the legs. Not now.
“Hey,” you whispered again, voice hoarse. “Joel. You still with me?”
A faint groan. Barely audible.
But it was enough.
He was still here.
You pulled off your jacket and shoved it under his head. Your hands were shaking, but your mind was locked in: every first aid trick you’d learned from scraps of survival guides, emergency manuals, anything Joel had ever shown you when he thought you weren’t paying attention. You had paid attention.
You just never thought you’d be using it on him.
Dina stumbled in, still pale and groggy, her hand gripping the wall. “Ellie?” she rasped. “Wh—what the fuck happened…?”
You didn’t look up. “You were drugged. Ellie is moving the bodies. We need the space.”
Dina staggered past, gagging at the sight of blood, but she didn’t hesitate. She knew. The air had changed.
This was a war zone. A zone you had built in seconds because you didn’t know what else to do. You blinded yourself; you had become a murderer monster just to save Joel.
You pulled Joel’s shirt open — shredded, stained with red. Purple splotches across his ribs. Swelling. At least two broken.
Your voice cracked. “You’re gonna hate me for this, Joel. But I have to move you.”
“Don’t…” he mumbled, almost unconscious. “Just… leave me—”
“Shut up,” you said, fierce now, your tears splashing onto his collarbone. “Don’t you dare say that. You don’t get to give up.”
Ellie appeared, face pale, blood on her shirt, Dina behind her with a blanket and an old mattress from the back.
“We cleared the room,” Ellie said. “It’s just us now.”
“Good,” you said. “Help me splint his legs. We need to keep him still until we can get him out of here.”
You tore up a curtain and grabbed two broken chair legs. It wasn’t perfect, but nothing about this was. Ellie held Joel’s leg as steady as she could, while you worked the makeshift splint around the worst of the fractures.
Joel screamed.
It was guttural, raw as if he was being dragged through hell.
You didn’t flinch. “I know,” you whispered, pressing your forehead to his as you tied the cloth tight. “I know, I know, I’m sorry. I’ve got you.”
You felt his breath against your skin, shallow and hot.
His lips moved. “Why?” he whispered.
You leaned back and looked at him. “Because I love you,” you said simply.
His eye fluttered open — just barely. And for one fragile second, the pain slipped away. There was only you and you brush the hair from Joel’s face. He was burning up. You needed to clean the wounds. Stop the bleeding. Keep him warm.
Keep him alive.
And somehow, by the grace of whatever broken god still watched over you all, you would.
You pressed a damp cloth to his temple where skin had split beneath Abby’s final blow. His blood soaked through instantly. You didn’t stop. You couldn’t.
Your hands moved on their own now. Wash. Compress. Tie. Splint. Whisper to him. Stay with me. Please stay with me.
Ellie and Dina had gone quiet. Standing behind you. Watching. Waiting for direction.
Then your voice broke through the stillness.
“Go back to Jackson.”
Ellie flinched, like she hadn’t expected you to speak.
You didn’t look up. You were holding Joel’s hand — limp and calloused in yours.
“We need help,” you said, barely audible. Your voice was shot. A raw whisper. “Tell Tommy… tell him to send help. We need to get Joel back there.”
Silence. Just the sound of Joel breathing. The sound of blood dripping from the club Abby left behind.
“Please,” you added, and that word cracked like bone. “Please. I can’t carry him by myself. He’s—he’s too heavy. He’s—”
You swallowed hard. Your fingers curled tighter around Joel’s hand.
Ellie stepped forward. “We’re not leaving you.”
You finally looked up, eyes glassy and red-rimmed. “You have to. We need a stretcher, a team. Horses. Anything. I can keep him alive for a few more hours. But I can’t move him like this.”
Ellie’s jaw clenched. Her knuckles went white. “I don’t want to leave you with him like this.”
You reached out, brushing Joel’s graying hair from his brow with trembling fingers. “I’ve got him.”
A pause.
Then Dina touched Ellie’s arm. “I’ll go,” she said gently. “I’ll ride. I’m faster. You stay.”
Ellie nodded, eyes not leaving yours.
You left a loud gasp “No,” you said quietly, lifting your eyes once more to Ellie’s. “Ellie… you go with Dina. I’ll stay here.”
Ellie’s shoulders stiffened. Her brows pulled together like she was bracing for another blow. “What? No. I’m not leaving you and him.”
You sat back on your knees, your hands bloodied, trembling. Joel’s chest rose and fell in shallow, ragged motions beneath you.
“You have to,” you said, your voice breaking. “You have to, Ellie. Dina shouldn’t be riding alone.”
Ellie looked at Joel. Looked at you. And shook her head. “I can’t leave him like this. I can’t.”
You grabbed her hand.
That startled her.
It startled you too.
But you held on, grounding her, pulling her attention back to your face. Your voice dropped to a whisper.
“Please,” you said. “Please. Help me save him.”
Ellie’s eyes filled. Not with tears — not yet — but with everything she couldn’t say. The guilt. The fury. The fear that maybe… it was too late.
But you looked at her like there was still something worth fighting for.
And Ellie, for the first time in what felt like forever, let herself believe it.
She swallowed hard. Nodded once.
“I’ll go.”
Your chest caved with relief. Joel let out a faint groan beneath you, and you turned back to him, brushing your thumb against his jaw.
“I’m here, baby,” you whispered. “I’m right here.”
Ellie hesitated at the doorway. “Will he be okay?” she asked before daring to step a foot outside the room.
You nodded, but it was instinct, automatic, hopeful, desperate. The truth lodged in your throat like a splinter you couldn’t spit out.
“I don’t know,” you said softly, voice trembling. “I—I need to stop the bleeding. His leg is bad. His ribs—fuck, I don’t know how much damage they did.” Your eyes flicked over Joel’s body again, breath catching at the way his chest rose unevenly. “But he’s breathing. And that’s something.”
Ellie stepped closer, still pale, still wide-eyed, her clothes soaked with blood—some hers, some not. “What do you need me to do?”
You looked up at her then, and for a split second, she looked like a kid again. Shaken. Haunted. But standing tall.
“Just go back to Jackson and bring help,” you said, your voice barely more than a breath.
Ellie’s eyes burned. She nodded once; jaw clenched. “Okay. Okay. Just hold on, please.”
You gave her one last look. “I’ll keep him breathing.”
She was gone the next second—boots pounding out the door, calling for Dina. You were left in the broken room, just you and Joel and the slow drip of blood on floorboards.
You pressed your hands to the worst of the wounds, breath shaking. “You hear that, Joel?” you whispered, pressing your forehead to his. “Help’s coming.”
He didn’t speak. But his fingers twitched again, slow, and curled around your wrist.
It wasn’t much but it meant he was still here.
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That night felt heavy like wet ash. Outside, the snowstorm had died to a bitter hiss. The wind still screamed through cracks in the lodge, but inside, everything had gone quiet—except for the sound of Joel’s ragged breath and the low creak of floorboards every time you moved.
You’d done everything you could.
His legs were splinted crudely with a broken table leg and belts. His wounds were packed with gauze you tore from your own coat lining. You boiled snow over a fire in the next room just to clean the worst of the blood from his side. You weren’t a medic. But you were a woman in love. And that made you terrifying.
He’d faded in and out of consciousness, his lips murmuring your name between groans, sometimes not even sure it was real. You sat beside him, your back against the bloodstained wall, holding his hand in both of yours.
But then it went still.
You hadn’t realized how quiet it had gotten until the sound stopped completely.
“Joel?” you whispered, leaning close.
No answer.
You shook his shoulder, gently. Then harder. “Joel.”
Nothing. His head lolled to the side. His skin felt clammy beneath your palm.
Your breath broke in your throat. “No, no—please, no. Joel—” You cupped his cheeks. “You stay with me; do you hear me?”
Still nothing. And then a twitch.
His brow twitched. His lips parted, barely, and a broken whisper slipped out.
“…Sarah.”
The name came out like a breath lost in time. You froze. Your heart cracked open.
His eyes fluttered beneath closed lids, a flicker of life.
In his mind, it was Austin again.
The smell of smoke and gasoline in the air. Sirens in the distance. Sarah was laughing, running ahead of him, calling back over her shoulder: “Dad, come on!”
And he was smiling. Genuinely smiling. He could hear her. Feel her hand in his again. It was warm. Real.
He turned and they were on the couch. Watching a movie. She was leaning against him, head on his shoulder. He’d just said something dumb. She rolled her eyes. He didn’t want to blink—afraid it’d all vanish.
But then came the gunshot.
Her warmth gone. He spun. He screamed for her. And when he looked down—
You were there.
In the memory. Not Sarah. You. Covered in blood. Crying. Calling his name.
Joel, please. Please.
Your hands were glowing with firelight, trembling as they pressed against his chest.
He tried to reach for you. He couldn’t move. The world was slipping.
And then—your voice cut through the haze.
“Joel, please. Please don’t do this.”
His heart stuttered once. Then again. A sharp inhale tore through his chest as if he’d been drowning.
“Joel!”
He coughed, body shaking, and your hands caught him just in time.
You sobbed, half-laughing as you gripped his cheeks again. “You scared the shit out of me—oh my god” you sobbed.
He looked up at you, dazed, confused. Then his eyes cleared, just a little.
“You were crying…” he mumbled, lips cracked.
“Yeah,” you whispered, brushing your thumb beneath his eye. “Yeah, I was.”
He blinked slowly. “Stop...”
“I won’t,” you promised. “I’m here. I’m staying.”
And as the fire cracked quietly, Joel leaned ever so slightly into your palm, the pain pulling at him, but your voice anchoring him.
The night lingered like a wound that wouldn’t close.
You didn’t sleep.
Your body screamed for rest, but you stayed next to Joel—watching the way his chest rose and fell, slow and shallow, praying it wouldn’t stop again. Every time his breath caught or he groaned too hard, your stomach twisted into knots.
The lodge was cold. Blood had dried into the floorboards. The fire in the next room was too far away to warm either of you, and you didn’t dare move him to get closer.
So you pressed your body to his side gently, just enough to share warmth without causing him pain.
“Still with me?” you whispered.
His eyes fluttered open, sluggish and heavy. “Yeah…” His voice was more gravel than sound.
You breathed out a shaky laugh, your forehead resting lightly against his temple. “You’re stubborn as hell, y’know that?”
Joel let out a faint puff of breath—maybe a laugh, maybe a wince. “…Learned from the best.”
Your throat clenched. You reached for his hand again, interlocking your fingers with his—gingerly, so you wouldn’t brush the torn knuckles.
“I thought I lost you,” you whispered.
His eyes moved—slow, searching—until they landed on you again. Then he mumbled something you barely heard.
Silence settled like snow. You closed your eyes, listening to the wind groaning against the walls. Time stretched, only broken by Joel’s breath stuttering again.
Then—his fingers twitched around yours.
Then you whispered, “Joel?”
He made a sound.
“I love you.”
He didn’t answer right away. His eyes were glassy with pain. But then he squeezed your hand, and his voice came soft, barely a breath.
“I love you too.”
It felt like the first time he had told you those three words and that had broken you in the gentlest way.
You buried your face in his shoulder, careful of the bruises, and let yourself cry—not in panic, not in fear. But in overwhelming, soul-shaking relief. He was alive.
He was alive.
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Joel woke to the soft hum of voices and some old machines. The scent of cleaner stung his nose before the light even reached his eyes.
His body was pain, muted but deep, like a dull echo in his bones. He tried to move, but something warm and heavy rested on his side.
Your head.
You were slumped in a chair beside him, your cheek pressed gently to his arm. Your fingers were laced with his, your grip loose with sleep but still holding on. Still there.
The light in the room was soft, filtering through the curtained window like morning fog. Outside, life stirred in Jackson. But here, it was quiet. Just the two of you.
Joel blinked slowly, his throat dry, the taste of cotton still on his tongue. His gaze drifted down to you. There was a crease between your brows even in rest. You looked exhausted. Pale. Eyes ringed with shadows.
But you were here.
He breathed your name, raw and hoarse.
You stirred at the sound, your head lifting slowly as if from the depths of a dream. Your eyes met his, still sleep-warm but wide with shock. Disbelief flickered, then relief so powerful it made your lips tremble.
“Joel…” you whispered, leaving a sob behind.
His smile was small. Barely there. “You didn’t leave.”
Your hand came up to cup his cheek. “Never,” you said. “You scared the hell out of me.”
He swallowed hard, his hand tightening weakly around yours. “How long?”
“Three weeks,” you said, voice shaking with the memory. “You were unconscious the first few days back. Fever wouldn’t break. They weren’t sure if you’d make it through the second night…”
He looked at you again, really looked. “And you sat here the whole damn time?”
You gave a soft, broken laugh. “Where else would I be?”
His good eye softened. “Didn’t think I’d ever see you again.”
You leaned closer, resting your forehead to his. “You promised me once you wouldn’t leave me.”
He nodded faintly, his eyes closing for a moment as your breath mingled.
Your fingers brushed his temple, so gently, as if afraid he’d fade again like some half-formed dream. Joel’s skin was warm beneath your touch, warmer than it had been in days, and that alone nearly broke you all over again.
“It’s going to take time,” you whispered, your voice barely louder than the hum of the machines. “To heal. For everything.”
Joel didn’t say anything, but you felt the tremor in his breath.
You threaded your fingers more tightly with his. “But I’m not going anywhere. You hear me?” you said, firmer now, voice catching on the tears in your throat. “I’m not leaving your side. You will get sick of me.”
His lips parted like he wanted to argue, maybe even protest, but then he looked at you again. Really looked. The cut on his brow. The bruising on his cheekbone. The pain behind his eye, and beyond that, the softness that only came when it was just you.
“You shouldn’t have had to—”
“I had to,” you cut in, gently but unshakable. “Because I love you. Because I couldn’t lose you. And I won’t.” you paused to take a deep breath before continuing, “You and I will grow old together, and we will die peacefully in farm, together.”
Joel blinked. His hand tightened slightly in yours again, like the only strength he had left was meant for that one touch. His voice was barely a whisper when he said, “I don’t deserve you.”
You leaned in and kissed his forehead, bruised, stitched, healing. “You’re mine, Joel. And I’m yours. That’s not about deserving. That’s just how it is.”
Silence fell, heavy but not suffocating. The kind of silence where you could finally breathe again. Where you knew, he was going to live.
Joel let his head rest back into the pillow, the edge of a tear slipping from the corner of his eye.
“Okay,” he whispered, smiling at you.
You smiled through your tears, the kind that burned hot down your cheeks but carried no pain—only release. Relief. Love.
You shifted in the chair, reaching up to brush a bit of hair back from his forehead, careful not to touch where it was most tender. His skin warmed beneath your fingertips. Alive. He was alive. The reality of that still hadn’t fully settled in.
“I’m gonna be here when you wake up,” you promised, voice like a hush of wind through leaves. “Every morning. Every damn day if I have to. You focus on getting better.”
Joel's smile trembled, worn and crooked, but it was his. The first real smile you'd seen in so long it felt like a lifetime ago. His good eye drifted shut, but not before his fingers gave yours one more squeeze, like he couldn’t bear to let go even in sleep.
You watched him as his breathing evened out again, slow and steady, like the beat of a familiar song you never thought you’d hear again. The machines hummed softly beside him. The faint glow of a streetlamp outside filtered through the hospital window, painting golden lines across the bedsheets.
You rested your head by his side again, your cheek brushing his arm, eyes closing just for a moment. Not to sleep, but to hold the feeling. The warmth. The miracle.
He was still here.
And you would be, too. Always.
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thebibliosphere · 6 months ago
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I’ve had an increase in rainbow aura with my migraines lately (I used to get them once a year, if that. Now, I’ve had it twice in one month) so I’ve become somewhat paranoid whenever something flashes over my vision.
Sometimes, it's just light reflecting off my phone, but it still makes me freeze up in a fear response when it happens because it usually means I’ve got about 20 minutes before I’m in agony.
Apparently, this new paranoia extends into my dreams now, too, because I was running down a long corridor, aware that there was something behind me that I needed to escape, but all of a sudden, in my dream, rainbow zigzags consumed my vision, and I stopped, dead and went, “fuck, migraine.”
That's when I became aware of James Bond/Daniel Craig standing beside me, gun drawn.
“Oh, shit. Do you need to lie down?” he asked while I stared at him.
I said, “What about the thing chasing us?”
“Oh, don’t worry about that, darling. If you need to lie down you can lie down. I’ll just kill them.”
I blinked at him for a bit, still winded from running then said, “Sure,” starting to get to my knees, ready to lie down on the cold stone floor beneath us.
“Sure?”
“Yeah. Kill ‘em. I’m just gonna...” I gestured vaguely at the floor. “Be right here, I guess.”
“You can go upstairs, you know,” he said, loading a fresh clip into his gun. “This museum has a hotel on top of it.”
“Oh good,” I said, starting to suspect this was a dream and not Daniel Craig about to murder the people chasing me because I had a migraine. “I’ll do that then.”
So I got back up and started climbing the stairs that looked an awful lot like the stairs in the Kelvin Grove Art Gallery, only to abruptly walk into Deathstroke and Nightwing doing their best to kill each other in the corridor of what was clearly a hotel based on the room service tray Nightwing was using to deflect projectiles.
They froze. I looked at them. They looked at me. “I’ve got a migraine,” I said,
“Shit, sorry,” Nightwing said, putting down his tray as both men stepped back to let me walk down the decimated corridor. “We’ll be more quiet.”
“Room 13 is open,” Deathstroke helpfully informed me.
“Is there a body in it?” I asked, now leaning against the wall, less walking along, more sliding.
“Not anymore.”
“Do you need anything?” Nightwing asked, “pain killers? Ice pack?”
I waved them off and made my way into room 13 where David Jason dressed as Detective Jack Frost looked up at me from the book he was reading on the bed.
“This is a dream,” he informed me.
“No it isn’t,” I said, despite knowing it was as I hobbled over to the bed and flopped down beside him. “And this room was supposed to be empty.”
“Open, not empty,” corrected Jack Banon who had taken David Frost’s place, dressed like young Alfie from Pennyworth as he sat beside me on the bed, leaning back against the headboard. “There’s a very distinct difference between the two. Oh, don’t look at me like that. Who do you think moved the body?”
“I need to sleep,” I said, “if I can fall asleep, the migraine might go away.”
“That's all right,” he said. “You do that. I’ll make sure no one else comes in. Oh, just one thing before you do.”
He reached into his pocket and pulled out something I couldn't quite see and held it out to me. “You’ll need this.”
“What is it?” I said, my brain doing the dream thing where it refuses to read books or interpret numbers correctly. “I can’t see, what is it?”
“Oft, sorry. Can’t tell you that. More than my job’s worth.”
“You’re job...”
“Yeah.” and thats when he leaned over, stuck me with a needle and said, “Night night.”
And I woke up to the sound of @mothman-etd getting into the shower and Holly Mop wiggling under thre covers with me.
First words out of my mouth were, “What the fuck?”
And then I immediately pulled up Tumblr to write this down before I forget it because what the fuck.
Didn't wake up with a migraine though so... *knock on wood*
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mercvry-glow · 1 month ago
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you, me, and empty space between us
parings. jack abbot x doctor!reader
warnings. widower!jack, age gap as always (jack late 40s, reader late 20s early 30s), jack literally talks reader off the ledge, undefined relationship but they're clearly in love and going through something, unspecified mental health issues, panic attacks, possible suicidal ideation, talks of losing people, bittersweet ending though.
notes. ever since we learned jack was a widower i've been cursed with angsty thoughts. I think this one is really hard as we see both the reader and jack struggle with each other. I love them your honor, and I'm really in my noah kahan loneliness era for this man. as always any feedback is appreciated and I love all of you!
wc. 2700+
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You don’t know when it had become so hard to breathe.
It wasn’t after the first patient death, or even the fourth or fifth. That was just life in the Pitt, and you had grown accustomed to it long ago… at least that’s what you thought.
It certainly wasn’t when he had walked in—Jack Abbot, all swagger and scruff, fresh on shift while you were finishing yours. You truly don’t know when you came to love him as more than a mentor. Maybe it was in the quiet, exhausted nights on his couch, or the rare mornings when your coffee mugs clinked in place of words.
Never open, always tucked away.
And maybe that’s why it hits you like a punch to the chest—because it’s something so small, something that you have no business caring about.
A glint of gold as he reaches for his first chart of the night.
His wedding band.
Still there. Still shining. Still hers.
And your breath just… goes. Like someone pulled the air from your lungs and replaced it with something heavy and wet and cruel.
You don’t even remember walking to the lockers. Just the click of the door behind you, the fluorescent lights buzzing too loud, and the burn behind your eyes as your hands shook, held tight against your sides. Everything became too much all at once. 
God, you're so tired.
Tired of the codes and the screaming and the silence that follows. Tired of watching children and parents die and pretending you’re not breaking a little more each time. Tired of watching your friends break each and every day more and more as this job steals their youth like it’s doing to yours. Tired of giving your heart to a man who, no matter how gently he touches you, will never touch you like you’re loved by him.
Not like he touched her.
You don't even cry. Not at first. You just run up the stairs, heart hammering like it's trying to escape, destination both known and unknown to your frazzled brain. Then you do cry—loud, ugly, shoulder-shaking sobs that don't stop. Not even when someone passes. Not even when your pager buzzes again.
You make it up to the roof before anyone sees you.
The cold Pittsburgh wind bites at your cheeks, but at least here, you can breathe again. 
Kind of.
 You wrap your arms around yourself, eyes burning as you stare out over the city like it's supposed to give you some kind of answer.
But it doesn't.
It never does.
You’re not even sure how long you’ve been up here.
The city stretches out below, distant and indifferent—cars moving like blood cells in some great, uncaring artery. You’ve spent your whole life trying to keep things alive, and now, standing here, arms wrapped around yourself in the wind, you’re not sure how to keep yourself going.
It’s not just Jack.
 It’s everything.
You’re tired in your bones. In your soul, if that’s a thing people really have.
Tired of the endless codes that ring like alarms in your dreams. Tired of holding hands that go cold while families scream down the hall. Tired of smiling when you’re empty. Laughing when your throat aches from swallowing everything you can’t say.
Tired of being second. 
To a memory. 
To a career.
 To a system that chews you up and spits you back out with new scars and fewer tears left to give.
You love your job. God, you do. But lately it feels like it’s eating you alive. And no one sees it. No one wants to see it.  Because you're the one who keeps it together. The calm in the storm. The smile at the desk. The one who always says, “I’m fine. Go. I’ve got this.”
But you don’t.
You don’t got this. Not anymore
You’re drowning.
And Jack—Jack is just the wound you thought you could bandage, only to realize it was deeper than you ever let yourself admit.
You see the way he softens when he talks about her, the few times you got to hear. 
The weight in his voice when he says her name.
And you? You’re the comfort. The quiet. The body he falls into when his ghosts get too loud, too much to handle alone.
But not the one he chooses.
Never the one he chooses.
A sob claws its way up your throat, and this time you don’t stop it. You sink, knees scraped by the roof's edge, standing past the metal railing and let it all go—the grief, the love, the years of being almost enough in every aspect of your life.
You cry until you’re raw. Until your breath hitches like a broken record.
Until you feel like there’s nothing left inside you. 
And still, the world keeps turning. The city lights don’t flicker. The wind doesn’t pause.
You are so deeply, achingly alone.
And in this moment, you don't even want to be saved. You just want to rest. 
To be done. 
“You know,” comes a familiar voice behind you, easy and low, “if you wanted to get me alone on the rooftop , all you had to do was ask. I would’ve brought you coffee.”
You flinch. Just barely. But he sees it.
Jack steps closer, hands tucked in his cargo pockets like he’s just wandered up here on a whim, not after checking every paitent room and hallway trying to find you. There’s that half-smile tugging at his mouth, the one he uses like armor—dry wit and soft hazel eyes, his whole coping mechanism wrapped in a single expression.
But the smile falters when you don’t answer.
When he really looks at you.
You’re standing with your hands pulled to your chest, fingers white-knuckled in your scrubs, eyes red and swollen. Shoulders shaking just enough to make him stop in his tracks after realizing you’re past the guard rail. 
“Hey,” he says again, quieter this time. “What happened?”
You shake your head. A tiny, useless motion. You can't even bring yourself to look at him, back still turned.
He steps toward you, trying to search your face. “Talk to me. Did something happen with a patient? Was it that kid from earlier? Or—”
“No,” you whisper, barely audible. “It’s nothing.”
“That,” he says, voice a touch sharper, “is a lie. And a bad one, kid.”
You let out a bitter little laugh that turns into another sob. “Everything’s just… too much.”
Jack doesn’t speak right away. Just watches you, the tension in his jaw building slowly. “You’re scaring me,” he admits, quietly.
“Fuck,” you snap through the tears. “Now you actually see me?.”
That stuns him. You can sense it—how his shoulders tighten, how his eyes scanning like they’ve missed something right in front of them.
You wobble, or try to move—your knees tremble under you, and Jack moves instantly, hands ready to grab you. 
You pull away.
“I’m tired, Jack,” you say, voice breaking. “So goddamn tired. Of being here. Of being overworked. Of watching people die. Of pretending I don’t care that you still wear her ring when you’re in my bed.”
Silence slams between you.
He swallows hard, words clearly stuck in his throat.
“I know she meant everything to you,” you say, softer now. “And I would never try to take her place. But it’s killing me. Being your person… Being the one you come to… but never for.”
His mouth opens, then closes again.
You laugh, but there’s no humor in it. “And look, now I’m making my issues about you again. God, I’m tired of that too.”
Jack steps forward, hesitant, like he’s approaching something fragile. Or dangerous. “Why didn’t you tell me any of this?”
“I didn’t want to make it real,” you whisper. “Because if I said it out loud, I’d have to admit that I’m not okay. That this job—this place—you—are breaking me.”
He’s quiet for a long time. The wind whistles around you both, cold and uncaring.
“I didn’t know,” he finally says. “I should’ve. But I didn’t. And I’m sorry.”
You look up at him, exhausted and open and completely undone. “I don’t want you to say sorry. I just… I wanted to matter.”
“You do,” he says, quick and firm. “You matter to me,”
You shake your head again, biting back another sob.
He doesn’t try to touch you this time. He just stands there in the silence you’ve created, eyes on yours like they’re the only thing he sees now.
And maybe—for the first time—they are.
Jack exhales slowly, like he’s trying to steady his own heart before he reaches for yours.
“You wanna know something?” he says, his voice rough but quiet. “First week I met you, I thought you weren’t cut out for this. All business, too rigid, straight spine, soft. Honestly? Scared the hell out of me, I thought you’d be gone by the end of the week.”
You huff, tired, but something like a breath of a laugh escapes you.
“But then you stayed two hours after your shift because a twelve-year-old was afraid of needles,” he continues. “And I saw it. That heart of yours—the one you hide behind clipped words and all that damn competence. You care so much it hurts you.”
He pauses, lets that sink in. You turn your face slightly toward him, just enough for him to see your profile in the wind.
“I know you think nobody sees you,” Jack says. “That you’re just some extra in other people’s stories. But I see you. I always see you.”
Your lips part, but no words come.
“You’re the one holding the line when everyone else is cracking. You’re the one who stays up on nights like this, falling apart where no one can find you. But I found you. And I’m not going anywhere.”
He steps forward again, slowly, cautiously. Like he’s giving you every chance to step back under the rails and hoping you don’t choose the other way down.
“I don’t wear this ring because I’m not over her,” he says, tugging at the band absently. “I wear it because she made me better. And you… you keep me better.”
That stops your breath cold.
“I never meant to make you feel like you were just something temporary,” he says. “You’re not. Not to me.”
“Then why not just say it?” you choke, voice trembling.
He looks at you like he wants to. Like the words are right there on his tongue—but something stops him. Not fear. Not doubt. Just the weight of everything this moment holds.
“I’m saying what I can,” he says instead. “Until I can say it all.”
He steps closer, right in front of you now, eyes searching yours.
“You matter, okay? Not just as my best resident. Not just as a damn good doctor. You matter to me. You’re not alone in this. Even if you feel like you are.”
Silence again. Heavy, but different this time.
“I don’t know what happens next,” he adds, quieter now. “But I know I don’t want to face it without you.”
You feel something give inside you—something that’s been clinging to the edge for weeks, maybe months. You don’t fall apart again, not this time. But you do lean forward. Just a little. Just enough.
Jack reaches out to touch you, wanting to pull you in. Standing right there on the other side of the guard rails, steady as gravity.
 Letting you decide.
You stand there for a second, barely breathing. His words echo in your chest, ringing against all the places that have been cracked and hollowed out.
You matter to me.
It shouldn't be enough. Not after all this. But somehow, it is. Or maybe it’s just enough to stop the bleeding.
Your shoulders slump as the tension you’ve carried finally starts to unwind. You don’t fall into him, not dramatically. You just… lean. Your forehead comes to rest against his chest, tentative, uncertain. But you stay there.
And Jack? He doesn’t hesitate.
His arms move around you with a kind of quiet reverence—gentle but solid, like he’s anchoring you to the hospital roof. One hand settles between your shoulder blades, the other against the back of your head, cradling you like he’s afraid you’ll break again.
“You scared the shit out of me,” he murmurs against your hair.
“I scared myself,” you whisper back, voice hoarse.
“You could’ve told me,” he says, not accusing—just brokenhearted.
“I didn’t know how,” you admit. “I thought if I said it out loud, I’d lose everything and never come back together.”
Jack pulls back just enough to look at you. His thumb brushes gently along your wind bitten cheeks, catching a stray tear you didn’t even feel fall.
“You are coming back together,” he says, firm but soft. “Right now. Piece by piece. You’re still here. That’s what matters.”
You nod, barely, like you’re still trying to believe him.
“I don’t need you to be okay all the time,” he continues. “You don’t have to be strong for anyone. You get to fall apart. You get to feel this.”
“But what if it doesn’t stop?” you whisper, voice cracking. “What if it just keeps coming?”
“Then we’ll face it together,” he says, without missing a beat. “Shift by shift. day by day. As long as it takes.”
Your eyes search his, and for once, there’s no hiding behind sarcasm or guarded silences. Just truth. And maybe something deeper behind it—something he’s still not quite ready to name, but it’s there. Burning steady like a soft fire.
You close your eyes, letting yourself rest in the warmth of him, in the safety of this rooftop moment.
And for the first time in weeks—maybe longer—you take a full, deep breath.
You both stand like that for a long time—no words, just breath and heartbeat and wind. The hum of the city below feels miles away, like a different world. Up here, it's just the two of you.
Eventually, Jack shifts a little, his arms still around you. His voice is soft, barely above the wind.
“Hey,” he says gently. “How about we get back on the safer side of the rail, yeah?”
You realize, with a sudden twist in your stomach, that you’re still on the wrong side. Still too close to the edge, with nothing but cold air and steel keeping you tethered.
You don’t move right away. Your fingers grip the rail, not because you want to jump—God, no—but because the world still feels unsteady. Like if you let go, you might float off into something you can't control.
Jack doesn’t rush you.
He stays with you, warm and steady at your side, hands never leaving you. “One step,” he says softly. “Just one. I’ve got you.”
You look at him, and there’s nothing performative in his expression. No pity. No fear. Just calm, unwavering care.
You nod once. Then slowly, carefully, you swing your leg over the first bar. He helps you the rest of the way, hands guiding you gently, like you’re something precious. When both feet land solidly on the rooftop again, you don’t realize you’ve been holding your breath until it finally releases in a shaky exhale.
“There you go,” he murmurs. “Safe and sound. Mostly.”
You laugh, barely. “I must look like a mess.”
“You look like someone who’s been through hell,” Jack says. “And is still standing. That’s not a mess. That’s a goddamn miracle.”
You look up at him, eyes glassy, and something flickers between you. Quiet. Heavy. Unspoken.
His hand lifts slowly, brushing a strand of hair from your face, then lingering—fingertips grazing your jaw, gentle as rain. He looks at you like he’s trying to memorize the moment.
“Can I…” he starts, then stops, catching himself. “I’m not asking to fix it. I just—”
You answer by leaning in.
It’s not rushed. Not desperate. Just soft. Slow. Like an exhale. Like the kind of kiss that says I’m still here. I still want this.
His lips meet yours, warm and steady, one hand still at your waist, the other against your cheek. There’s no fire in it—not tonight. Just light. Just steady comfort.
When you pull back, your forehead rests against his, both of you breathing a little easier now.
“You sure about this?” you whisper.
Jack doesn’t even blink. “Yeah,” he says. “I’m sure.”
You nod. You believe him. And for the first time in what feels like forever, you believe in yourself again, too.
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mercvry-glow 2025
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joonjuul · 3 months ago
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play thing. jjk
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pairing: boyfriend!jk x sleepy!reader
wc: 3k
warnings: desperate!jk, softdom!jk, sleepy!reader, sub!reader, light ddlg themes (if u squint), implied consent, somnophilia, fingering (f receiving), multiple orgasms (f receiving), light overstimulation (f receiving), pet names, unprotected sex (wrap it up), pwp lol
a/n: saw another author write something similar to this agessss ago and i’ve been obsessed ever since
╋━
it was one of those nights. one of those nights where your phone mysteriously shut off early, where your eyes felt heavier than normal, where the sweet hum of your blankets and pillows called your name gently, even if it was only 10pm.
since you started dating jungkook, you always felt so busy. it was almost like you were carrying the stress of both his job, and your own, which only meant one thing — you were the most exhausted woman on the planet, and tonight was no exception.
you use your last bit of energy to plug your phone in on the nightstand beside you, turning over and examining the empty side of your shared bed. another wonderful addition to your new life, was still having to sleep alone, despite the fact that you lived with your boyfriend. monday through friday, you always found your routine to be the same, get home from work, make dinner for you and your boyfriend, and head up to your shared room, scrolling until your eyes began to shut before rolling over, jungkook always wandering to his at home studio some time after dinner.
you loved how passionate he was about his work, but it didn’t help the fact that you missed him desperately — his touch, his sweet smile, the small freckle under his lip, the way his hands always instinctively found your waist even within the pitch black night of your room.
he was wonderful, and you adored him, but you couldn’t ignore the loom of desperation that blossomed between your legs as you imagined how he took care of you on the weekends, when his mind wasn’t so preoccupied. his fingers, so skillful and rough, almost as if they memorized your body like a map — every spot that made you writhe beneath him and every crevice of your skin that made your toes curl.
you felt a dampness arise in your panties as your mind wandered, but your tiredness quickly got the best of you, as you eased into a deep sleep — images of your muscular boyfriend hovering above you, his ink splattered arms on either side of your head as he drove into you mercilessly lulling you to sleep.
jungkook however, was only a couple hours into what would be a very sleepless night.
with their comeback approaching, he had been much busier than usual — always winding up in his at home studio after dinner, headphones sat lightly on his head as he’d meticulously arrange every beat and vocal he had prepared during his day at work. he didn’t enjoy it, he’d much rather be with you down the hall, feeling the warmth of your body against his as you both drifted off, but it had become much like a routine, and he was never one to break a good habit, not when they were so close to their scheduled comeback date.
tonight though, was a little different. with every click of a button, every slide of a mouse across the desk, his mind only led back to one thing — you. with his jam packed schedule he had barely left any time to spend with you, and not just that, but also time for your sex life. jungkook was not the type of man to have sex once a week. his body craved you feverishly almost every minute of the day. he went all day craving your touch, and when he finally arrived home and was able to bask in your never ending skin, he felt like all his day’s work was complete. but it would never be enough to satisfy him, and today was one of those days.
he feels his mind begin to wander as he imagines you in bed. he wonders whether or not you’ve fallen asleep yet, which pair of panties you’re wearing, imagining you sprawled out on your bed, shorts riding meticulously high up your ass. and he feels the pressure in his pants begin to worsen.
his eyes glance at the clock. 12:06 am.
he had done enough work today, right? there was always tomorrow, he thought to himself as he took his headphones off, ignoring the tension in his boxers as he stood up from his chair, desperately crossing his fingers that you’re still awake, still conscious so he can fall between your legs and take you like he so hopelessly needs.
his feet carry him to your shared room quickly, his hands wrapping around the doorknob as his eyes quickly fall on your sated body. one leg on either side of the covers as your ass pokes out slightly — barely leaving any room for imagination in one of your cutest pairs of undies.
he lets out a low groan at the sight, his body wandering aimlessly into the room as he gets closer to you. he notices your quiet snores, the way your hair messily spreads across the pillow case, and then he notices something else — a small wet patch outlined in your panties.
jungkook feels his breath hitch in his throat, his eyes zeroing in immediately as he walks closer to the bed, falling to his knees on the covers behind you, but never hard enough to stir you from your sleep.
he gulps, how could you look so perfect ? and why were you so wet ?
his mind swarms with thoughts, his body filled with heat as he wonders if you had touched yourself while he was in the next room, if you craved touch but couldn’t settle for anything less than him. he feels a weight hang on his shoulders, his cock throbbing unbearably in his pants as he feels an overwhelming need for you take over.
without a second thought, his hands fall to the waistband of his sweatpants, quickly pulling them down along with his boxers to reveal his throbbing hard on.
he pumps himself for a moment or two. where does he start? you were sprawled out perfectly on your bed, your cunt obviously ready for him, even if you didn’t know he was there. he halts his movements, still hearing the gentle hum of your snores in the background, and he positions himself between your legs in response, bringing a hand to your panties to pull them aside.
he drags the head of his cock over your folds, relishing in your wetness as he pauses, waiting to feel you stir, hear a whine of concern, but there’s nothing.
he takes your silence as his queue and slowly begins to bury himself into your warmth, your walls stretching to accommodate his size with ease as your body unknowingly lets him in. his breath seizes as he feels your cunt squeeze him deliciously, stifled moans begging to be released as he bottoms out inside you, his head hung low as he tries to catch his breath.
you were so wet, so perfect, and all for him. even in sleep you stayed still and obedient for him, and it was driving him insane.
jungkook begins a tireless pace on your cunt, his thrusts slow and gentle as he feels you tighten around him with every pump of his delicious cock.
he carefully drags the comforter over your back, protecting you from the cold of the night, and hopefully keeping you asleep long enough for him to empty his load inside you. but you were more than perfect, you were irreplaceable. your body subconsciously relaxing deeper as you feel the added warmth to your back, completely unaware of your boyfriend falling apart above you.
with every thrust of his hips he can feel his balls tighten, his body aching for release as his movements begin to quicken, so much so, that he forgets you’re asleep.
mindless praises falling from his lips as he worships you subconsciously, his mind only focused on one thing — you.
“so perfect, baby. my perfect girl.” he lowers himself closer to your body, a hand on either side of your head as his tattooed hand grips the comforter tighter, a coil in his stomach beginning to build as he feels himself drawing closer and closer to the edge.
your dream stutters momentarily, pictures of you and jungkook on a romantic date quickly being brushed away as your mind returns to reality. the first thing you notice isn’t his heavy breathing beside your ear, nor his length stretching your walls deliciously, but the feeling of a tightness within your abdomen.
“mmm.” you moan gently as your body stirs, your eyes fluttering open as they’re consumed with darkness, only a small piece of your boyfriend’s tattooed arm falling in your vision.
“shhh it’s okay, baby.” his sweet voice hums as you finally feel him between your legs, his cock moving feverishly inside you, brushing against your walls perfectly as you let out a loud moan, your wetness only increasing as you grip the sheets beside you.
“kook? f-fuck.”
“shhh, don’t try to talk baby. it’s just me. needed to feel you. go back to bed, sweetheart.” his voice is soft and soothing but the tension in your stomach screams otherwise, your body desperate for release.
he quickly notices your movements, your whines, the way your bum pokes out slightly, begging for more, and he carefully brings a hand down beneath you to your throbbing clit in response.
“there there. this what you wanted sweetheart?” you moan at his words, your legs beginning to shake as you nod your head quickly, the feeling of his fingers circling your clit were almost enough to send you over the edge. but his pace never slows, if anything, his hips quicken as he drives into you mercilessly, thankful that he doesn’t have to hold back now that you’re fully conscious.
“that’s it, good girl.” his words spur you on as he watches you begin to come undone, him easily knowing every spot in your body that gets you going the most. his fingers slowly circle around your clit, your legs shaking slightly as you moan out, loving every movement of his cock inside you. your knuckles are white from gripping at the sheets, your head spinning as you feel like you’re still half unconscious, but jungkook can only think about one thing — the pressure in his balls signaling his closeness.
“cum with me angel, wanna feel you.” his voice is shaky but his hips stay consistent, each thrust building the intensity in your stomach as you feel the coil begin to grow. you were so close, just teetering on the edge of your release, and you knew he was too as his fingers that were once rubbing your clit with calculated movements, were now messy and vigorous. his cock begins to twitch as he feels your walls tense around him as he thrusts deeper, hitting your g-spot so perfectly that it sends you into your climax suddenly.
“f-fuck.” he stutters as he feels you tighten, your moans spiraling through his head as he takes one final plunge inside of you, burying his cum deep within your stomach as he bottoms out.
your breath is heavy as you feel yourself return to reality, the warmth of your boyfriend’s chest against your back bringing you a sense of comfort. god had you missed his touch.
he looks down at his now softening cock as he pulls it out of you, watching a small stream of his juices trickle out of your pulsing hole, collecting it with his fingers before dipping it back inside of you, the sensation making you gasp.
“gotta clean you up, baby.” he rasps, his voice now deeper than normal, whether due to tiredness or the sex you weren’t sure, all you could focus on was his fingers dipping in and out of you gently, moving in circles as his pads brush against your walls. you’re unable to control the low moan that leaves your lips at the feeling.
“sore?” his movements cease as he leans forward to gauge your reaction. but you shake your head in response.
“feels good.” your voice shakes as you begin to move your hips in response to his gentle assault on your cunt, your body writhing against the sheets as it begs for more.
jungkook smirks as he watches how desperate you are, even in such a fucked out state. he must’ve made you wait much longer than he intended.
“sweet girl.” he brings his free hand up to your head as he begins to stroke it calmly, his fingers still moving within you so carefully that you’re not sure whether he’s even trying to turn you on.
his hand falls down to your back, slipping under your shirt as he rubs circles on your hot skin, his hands perfectly calloused from lifting weights that they almost feel rough against you, and it only amplifies everything you’re feeling.
“kook, please.” you whimper, your tone much softer than you’d intended. his touch was driving you crazy, everything about him, you must’ve been ovulating with the way you felt everything so intensely.
“hmm? what is it, baby? what does my sweet girl want?” he hums, his fingers curling inside of you as he watches you begin to squirm, the crooked smile never leaving his face. he knew exactly what he was doing.
you groan, completely burnt out from his teasing. “more kook.”
he quirks a brow, his fingers curling again as he brings his free hand down to your bum, massaging your cheeks gently.
“more? what more could you want? i’m just cleaning you up, baby.”
you groan again, now fully irritated as you kick your legs slightly in annoyance, turning your head over your shoulder to see the wicked grin plastered to his lips.
“pleaseeeee.” you whine, rutting your hips in an attempt to feel more of him. his grip on your ass tightens but his fingers continue to move gently inside of you.
“behave, sweetheart. just relax, i’m right here. you know i always take care of you, right?” his pace begins to quicken but never lose their gentle feel, still carefully dragging every inch of your walls, and curling up into your g-spot perfectly.
“f-fuck, kook.” you moan out, whether from the gentle overstimulation of his fingers inside you, or the way he carefully caressed your back, everything was too much yet not enough at the same time. you were obsessed with him, with the way he made you feel — how he was so rough yet touched you so sweetly, how he dragged the pads of his fingers against your walls, the hushed praises falling from his lips… he was simply too much to bare.
“there you go, that’s my girl.” he watches intently as you move your hips in synchronization with him, your body melting into his every touch as what was meant to be him riding you off your high, turned into something entirely different.
he leans down into your ear, bringing his hand that was on your back up to your neck as he carefully pulls your hair aside, peppering kisses along your damp skin, only building the intensity within you.
his lips stall as he licks a stripe up your neck, stopping by your ear to pull it into his teeth with ease, only nibbling it for a second before releasing it and watching as you fall apart beneath him.
“ughhh” you bury your face into your pillow, completely overwhelmed with pleasure as he continues his ministrations on your already tired cunt.
“words, baby.”
you groan at his response, unsure of how to put your emotions into words, but he’s unsatisfied with your reply — quickly bringing his once gentle hand on your hair back down to your waist and flipping you over with ease, plunging his fingers back into you once your eyes have met one another.
“speak up.” he demands, his voice now filled with lust.
you moan out at the sudden harshness of his movements, cowering under his intense gaze.
“just - ahh - just want you kook.”
he flashes a crooked smile at you, leaning back down into the bareness of your neck.
“you have me, baby. i’m all yours.” his voice a hushed, seductive whisper as he begins assault your neck, his fingers never ceasing.
the feeling is almost unbearable, the coil in your stomach quickly returning with every perfect curl of his fingers and lap of his tongue against your hot skin.
you were a mess — writhing, legs shaking, hands clawing at any part of his body you could use to stabilize yourself, but it was not nearly enough to bring you off the edge that was only drawing nearer.
“close.” you whimper, your knees threatening to clamp shut on his hand until he quickly pins them down, holding you in place and directing his gaze onto your sopping cunt. he wanted to see it all. not just the way you tightened around him, or the way you gushed all the way down his knuckles, but the way you pushed out his seed in the process. he wanted to see it all.
“cum, baby. such a perfect girl, all for me. let me see you cum.” and with a final curl of his fingers, you were sent soaring back over your high. even if it wasn’t as strong as the first, it was just as passionate, if not more. the way his eyes were fixed on your center drove you crazy, his tongue darting out to wet his perfect lips, he was pure sex.
your eyes fluttered shut, your body unable to process what had happened, but you could faintly feel him removing his fingers and placing gentle kisses on your legs, your skin covered in goosebumps for as far as the eye could see.
“good girl, you did such a good job, angel.” you hear his gentle praises as he begins to clean you up properly, admiring the mess you made of your shared bed.
you wish you could respond, you with you could thank him, but your mind had already drifted off into a slow, deliberate sleep — one deeper than you could’ve ever imagined you’d be receiving tonight.
if you thought you were exhausted before, it was nothing compared to the state of you now.
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lay-z · 4 months ago
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cotton candy clouds | 1
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Synopsis: Due to his rank, status, and many combat achievements, Lieutenant Riley is assigned an emotional support hybrid by the brass; whether he likes it or not.
Pairing: handler!Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x dog!hybrid!fem!Reader
Warnings/Info: 18+ MDNI | Reader is a purebred Samoyed (dog)hybrid. Despite ears, tails, and their adapted nature/instincts/personalities, hybrids have human features. | bimbo!Reader; hypersexuality; dom/sub elements; heavy smut; tw: past (sexual) abuse/manipulation; cussing; fluff; angst; hurt/comfort; eventual romance; strangers to lovers; dub-con elements (Some warnings only apply to future parts!)
☁ ccc; masterlist
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Simon remembers telling Price to ‘piss off with that shite’ when the latter had approached him with the brass’ announcement of granting the Lieutenant the rare permission to become the handler of an emotional support hybrid.
There aren’t many officers on base who are allowed to have one, and Simon knows why that is. In his opinion, the whole handler/hybrid deal has all the negative connotations of a toxic and borderline abusive relationship, and Simon simply doesn’t want to be part of that.
Did anyone of those fuckers ever bother to read his file? He bloody well doubts it.
He does respect the official handlers and trainers of the military K9’s on base, though. Whatever bond they share was forged and solidified in battle and goes way beyond that odd and shallow power play that happens between some officers and their so-called “pets”.
So, Simon said no to the offer, firmly and several times at that. He doesn’t care for the bloody permission, no matter how rare it is, no matter how fellow soldiers who’d caught rumour about it had blatantly stated their envy about the possibility of gaining a hybrid pet themselves. Truthfully, Simon becomes sick to his stomach whenever one of the other officers and NCO’s talk about wanting to own a pretty pleasure puppy; something dumb and docile to have fun and unwind with in their time off duty.
Fucking hell. No, Simon doesn’t want to be part of that, let alone be responsible of some freakish hybrid mutt.
Weeks pass, both thoughts and arguments about hybrids and handlers are pushed back and filed away in some nook inside Simon’s mind as he falls back into his daily grind and familiar routine; running drills, paperwork, field trainings, preparing for missions, more paperwork.
Until one fateful day in January.
The UK weather has been more terrible lately; icy rain and howling winds beating down on base while Simon was trying to keep the rookies in line at the shooting range. By the end of the day, his fatigues were drenched and clinging to his broad frame while the chill was seeping through his pale skin, settling into his bones; making his limbs heavy and turning them stiff as if he’d carried a rucksack full of boulders on his back for a week straight.
The moment Simon arrives at the front door to his flat on base, though, the hairs at the back of his neck bristle immediately. The hallway is empty, but–
Something isn’t right. He can practically sense that someone was here, perhaps even inside his place in the worst case.
Halting in his measured steps while his breathing levels out to that eerie shallowness he’s adapted to on missions, his ears perk up under his skull balaclava as he listens for any odd noises coming from inside. Unable to pick up anything unusual, Simon still chooses to rather be safe than sorry as he reaches for his pistol in the holster strapped to his right thigh.
Simon manages to open the front door without any noise before he slips inside effortlessly, living up to his name as a ghost as he stalks through his flat on high alert; checking the small storage room before sneaking down the short, dark hallway leading up to his open living room. He can bloody sense that something is different, that someone has tampered with his safe space; he can smell the lingering scent of cigarette smoke, sweat, and tangy cologne even through his damp balaclava.
The sight that greets him on his old, tattered couch when he eventually flips on the light switch, is unlike anything he expected and Simon’s whole body tenses, eyes widening comically as if he’s met face to face by a firing squad.
But it’s just you, a bloody dog hybrid, curled up on his couch like you belong there–which you don’t.
And Simon slowly lowers his pistol, watches your fluffy white ears appear from under your hair as they perk up before you lift your head, like pristine cotton balls popping open in the sunlight; your body uncurling and stretching slowly while you squint against the bright yellow drop-light.
“What the bloody… fuck,” Simon breathes, chest deflating with a deep sigh as he puts his pistol back into his holster, securing it once more. Dark eyes flicker around the room before he catches a large black suitcase next to what looks like a gift basket.
Simon approaches the basket the way he would a bomb threat while his vigilant eyes keep shifting towards you as if you could attack him any moment, although you’re clearly still waking up, all discombobulated and sleep-drunk.
When Simon catches a clear view at the assortment of goodies and the black folder tucked between them inside the basket, his cold heart stutters and his blood freezes in his veins. At the sight of the pale pink collar with its matching leash, the vein in his temple throbs with a mixture of fury and revulsion.
The sound of your soft, sickly-sweet voice chirping out a greeting nearly makes his wretched soul leave his body. “Hi… Hello.”
Simon takes a step back, needing a protective wall at his back and as much space between himself and you as possible as he tries to assess the situation.
“How the fuck did you get inside my flat?” Simon mutters under his breath, dark eyes widening when he realizes the thumping in his ears doesn’t match his rapid heartbeat but belongs to your fluffy white tail gently wagging against the soft leather of his couch; just as fluffy and white as your ears, like freshly made cotton candy.
“I was brought here and told to wait for my new handler,” you answer as your head tilts to the side curiously, gazing up at the large man with bright doe-eyes. “Are you Simon?”
Simon’s narrowed eyes widen instantly again at the sound of your voice uttering his name so sweetly, so... casually. It makes him sick to his stomach, and he swallows back the sour taste in his mouth as it fills with saliva.
“Who the fuck brought you ‘ere?”
He needs a name, so he knows who to beat to a pulp before he grabs the first poor bastard who crosses his path next.
“Uhm–oh!” Your small, triangle-shaped ears perk up, and the giggle you let out makes Simon grimace underneath his mask. “They had silly names for humans,” you tell him, still giggling softly to yourself before adding: “Gaz and Soap.”
Simon huffs in exasperation and pinches the bridge of his nose. Of course, it explains the “special orders” his bloody Sergeants had gotten from Price today; the reason he couldn’t attend today’s training session. And suddenly, it all clicks into place.
“You’re all wet, Simon,” you remark about his appearance; sweet voice laced with a concern so genuine that is has his spine tense and his stomach churn with aversion. “Are you not cold?”
He wants to bark at you to stop calling him by his name, to stop trying to appeal to him just because your bloody stupid nature tells you to, to stop imprinting on your so called “new handler” just because someone told you that you belong to him now. He wants you out of his flat and out of his life before anything terrible and out of his control can take root and blossom behind his ribcage.
“Get up,” he snaps at you before his thoughts can spiral any further and he almost, almost feels bad when you flinch in your seat, ducking your head submissively while your ears flatten against your head. “I’m taking you back. You’re not staying here, lass.”
“W-What?” Your face drops, your fluffy tail stops wagging; eyes glossing over as you begin to tremble and shrink on the spot. The sound of your soft whine only angers Simon more, because it tugs on his heartstring, makes his protective instincts flare.
“You heard me. Get up and grab your fuckin’ suitcase. ’m taking you back to wherever you came from.”
When Simon glances back at you, something mean and violent lodges itself into his chest cavity; twisting and squeezing his rotten heart as soon as he sees the devastated look on your face; ears drooping and shoulders slouching in defeat while another soft whine vibrates in your chest.
“Okay,” you answer eventually, snivelling when fat tear breaches your lower lash line and runs down your supple cheek as you untuck your legs from under yourself to move off the couch. “Okay…”
There’s a shrill ringing in his ears when Simon’s mouth seems to move on its own, making a decision for him. “Wait. Stay–Stay right where you bloody are.”
And you immediately do as you’re told, like the obedient pup you obviously are, settling back and perking up again as you blink dumbly at the brutish man with bright, big eyes and an expectant look that makes Simon groan internally before he reaches into one of his many pockets to retrieve his old smartphone.
He mutters and curses under his breath as the cracked screen lights up, and it doesn’t take long for him to find his Captain’s name in his short contact list. Simon taps the screen with his gloved thumb to call the man, ready to argue tooth and nail to have you picked up by from his flat again, so he doesn’t have to deal with it.
Simon’s jaw is clenched tightly while his sharp gaze keeps flickering back to you, still not quite believing you’re not some stress-induced hallucination, or nightmare.
It takes two rings before Price picks up.
“Ghost–“
Simon inhales deeply. “Price–“
“Getting acquainted with your new companion, son? She’s quite the sweetheart. Easy on the eyes, too, judging by what the lads told me.”
His chest deflates, air rushing from his lungs in a long exhale. That comment alone is enough to make him even more furious. “I don’t want her. Take her back to wherever she came from, Captain.”
There’s a beat of tense silence before Price speaks up again, and Simon can hear the squeak of the old office chair as the other man leans back in it.
“Did you read her file yet?”
“No, should I?” Simon counters gruffly, feeling his patience grow thinner by the second.
“Aye, son, I suggest you should.”
“Gimme the short version, Price. I’m this close to handing her over to the next lucky bloke who passes by my fuckin’ flat.”
“Yeah, don’t do that,” Price says decisively on the other; his gruff voice way too calm for Simon’s liking. “She’s a rescue, Lieutenant. Got rescued from one of those terrible puppy mills.”
That makes Simon shut up as his eyes flicker over to you; softening somewhat when his eyes lock with yours. You keep watching him with the slightest pout, waiting for orders or for him to finally send you away. He’s still considering it, though the revelation of your background makes him hesitate for some odd reason. Empathy.
“Simon?”
Simon squeezes the phone harder in his grip; hard enough he thinks he might break it once and for all. “You better find a new handler for her, Captain.” He bites out through clenched teeth. “It’s not gonna be me.”
Price sighs. “Alright.” There is another pause and Simon can hear it when Price scratches his coarse beard in contemplation before he speaks up again. “Just keep an eye on her for the night, aye? I’ll make the necessary arrangement to have her transferred to someone else.”
“Good. She can stay for one night. One. Night.” Simon growls before hanging up.
The soft sound of your tail thumping against the couch catches his attention again and when he looks back at you, you’re practically beaming at him.
“Fuckin’ hell…”
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lon3lystarr · 23 days ago
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honey…don’t feed it, it will come back.
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•paring: remmick x fem!reader
•summary: the pale moon light shined brightly, illuminating the shadows hidden deep within the tall corn fields, the hot air of mississippi was uncontrollable and uncomfortable but nothing felt more uneasy than the three firm knocks that cut through the still night.
•warning(s): vampirism, blood, manipulation,physical affection, setting is around the 1930s, cursing, the use of y/n, y/n is in her early 20’s, y/n lives alone, hints to dead mom, y/n is a little stupid but this is fiction so it’s whatever, a lot of flirty name calling from remmick, remmick might be a little soft in this <3, just a little smutty;))
•a/n: yeah i needed to write about remmick, he’s just so hot and my new hyper fixation. writing this while listening to “it will come back” by hozier :)). i wrote another remmick fanfic: https://www.tumblr.com/lon3lystarr/782176805690982400/run-lassie-run-pairing-remmick-x-femreader :))
likes, comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!! <3
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the sunday morning sun was unbearable. there wasn’t any wind, there wasn’t any shade, there wasn’t any clouds in the vibrant blue sky to provide any shelter from the scolding hot rays the sun kissed upon mississippi. this wasn’t new to y/n, the slow hot suffocating heat embracing her sweat covered form while she did her daily routine, sweeping and mopping the house from the inside then out to the front porch, washing her soiled clothes and hanging them to dry on the thin laundry line, tending to the tall corn fields her mama left her making sure the field was healthy and ripe enough to sell for the folks in town, then preparing dinner all alone in her old creaky home. y/n’s days were selfsame, doing the chores she has done since her early years of living then winding down for the night, humming the old lullabies her mama used to sing to her throughout the quiet nights.
until something in the air shifted
something felt different today
y/n felt uneasy when she woke, the thick morning air was the same as yesterday and the day before that but something deep within y/n’s bones told her today wasn’t the same as all the time, maybe it was the lack of the birds singing and chirping, maybe it was the disgustingly hot air she breathed in or maybe it was the exhaustion that ate away at her every passing day, either way y/n knew if she didn’t attend her chores then no one will. she pushed off her thick wool bed as the wooden bed frame groaned under her weight and walked to the bucket of clean water to wash away the sleep from her sluggish face then she started her day.
sweeping and mopping, washing her clothes that were soiled from the amount of sweat and dirt clinging onto them, pinning those clothes on the laundry line behind the chipped painted house, tending to the towering corn fields as her hands cramped up from the heavy labor, then by sunset she headed back to the empty lifeless home to finally fill her empty stomach. the sun still shined casting purple-pink hues in the sky as y/n made a fire big enough to cook all the food at once, cornbread, sweet potatoes, and field peas was the meal she decided to cook for the night. the sound of crickets rang out and filled the quietness which helped drown out y/n’s intrusive  thoughts, the thoughts that she wouldn’t dare say out loud, the growing despair she felt in her heart was becoming intolerable, she never thought this was the life she would be living, the same tired routine over and over again, the silence in this empty lonely house, her years withering away, happiness and enthusiasm drained from her once lively soul, the lack of passion in her life caused all these feelings to bubble to the surface, it was miserable.
by sundown y/n finished her meal and got ready for bed, she peeled off her dirt covered clothes and replaced them with her lightweight flowy white nightgown that was a hand-me-down it only reached just over her knees, she brushed and wrapped her frizzy hair then headed to her room she left earlier today, her aching limbs cracked and popped when she stretched them out then throwing her limp body onto the mattress and waited for the tiredness to hug around her, finally getting the rest she so desperately needed.
but rest didn’t come, y/n stared at the ceiling with her eyebrows pulled together in discomfort, the same feeling from before came back, the unsettling and uncomfortable tension heavy in the night air, the crickets stopped singing, the moonlight dimmed and the air still sticky and hot. y/n tossed and turned in her bed and shut her eyes tightly, hoping sleep will catch her like prey to predator but that was unsuccessful so she sat up and stared out of her window to watch the night sky, the night sky was the only thing giving her peace, giving her tranquility, giving her harmony-
knock. knock. knock
three firm knocks cut through the air, the moment of calmness and silence immediately vanished, now the same uncertainty and uncomfortable feeling returned. who would be knocking on her door at this time of night? y/n stayed seated on her bed, unmoving, maybe the person outside of her door would assume she was asleep and leave but that wasn’t a good plan. three more firm knocks rang out followed by a masculine voice “hello? is anyone home? please help me i’ve been hurt” the desperation muffled behind the door “please i won’t be much of a bother! i just need a little of ya assistance” the voice said as y/n got closer to the door, wary and uncertain “how are you hurt?” y/n asked, her palm pressed against the door, adding a little more security and support to the old door “i was walking from the pub and i wasn’t lookin’ at my surroundings, i ended up cuttin’ my arm on a nasty ole poll..” the voice explained, sounding a little closer, a little more quieter “well sir i won’t be much help, i wasn’t gifted with the ability to heal anyone back to health” y/n replied, the feeling of uneasy growing bigger in her chest “well darlin’ i promise ya a place to rest my head would be more than enough” the tenderness in the male’s voice outside pulled at the heartstrings of y/n softly, feeling needed was something y/n didn’t know she was able to feel in a long time it was a little selfish to feel this way or even stupid but fuck, did it feel nice. y/n slowly turned the cold metal doorknob making the old door squeak open revealing the male in front of it, standing on y/n’s porch was a handsome, muscular man with brown short sweaty hair, his dark eyes connected to her’s immediately“well aren’t ya a beauty, didn’t expect that face” said the taller male in front of her, making a new emotionto erupt, it felt like heat in her stomach and her heart skipped a little from his words “i’m remmick, what’s your name dolly?” asked remmick, a smirk painted on his chapped pink lips as his accent seemed more thicker now that there wasn’t a barrier between them “i’m y/n” she replied in a hushed manner “hmmm y/n, just rolls off the tongue. leaves a little sweet taste” remmick said, husky and sly leaning against the door frame, he lifted up his left arm and the nasty cut showed, the skin around it was red and raw while the blood dried up and crusted over “that sure does look painful, washing that wound would be best” y/n said, still focused on the long cut on his pale white skin “why don’t ya let me in and we can get this taken care of” remmick smiled a reassuring smile, y/n stood there thinking of the situation she’s now in, this attractive stranger needed help and a place to stay in the middle of the night…this wasn’t good…the choice she was about to make wasn’t the smartest at all but maybe doing a good deed for someone in need could break the curse of feeling unwanted, unneeded, useless every waking hour “alright, come in” y/n said, moving a little to the right to allow remmick to past by and enter into the candle lit house, the aroma that slapped y/n as the male walk by was intoxicating, the smell of sweetness like a ripe juicy berry mixed with the tangy smell of his sweat that covered his firm frame
“what a beautiful house, are you livin’ all alone here?” he asked, his eyes glued to her face, scanning her features that shined with the yellow-orange candle light “yes, my mama passed away a couple of years ago. leaving me to take care of the house and the corn fields” y/n stated, her voice still low and airy “my condolences dolly. you’ve done a fine job maintaining everything. must be stressful on a sweet little thing like you huh?” remmick said, his voice sweet and kind “time to time, being on my lonesome is quite the hassle but i manage” y/n replied truthfully walking to the same bucket she used to wash away her tiredness this morning, sitting across him in a shorter chair “sweet thing like you shouldn’t manage. you should be taken care of, loved upon, cherished and protected from the evil in this world.” remmick stated, stern and serious as he sat on the old dusty wooden rocking chair “well some of us aren’t as lucky” y/n said, softly tending to the wound on his arm. while she carefully rinsed off the dried up blood she noticed something..strange…the cut wasn’t as big as before, actually it seemed like there wasn’t a cut there at all, the only evidence was the blood that was now tinted the water red “i can free you. i can free your poor soul from the long lonely days you live, finally feelin’ freedom that’s the thing you wanted to feel since ya mama passed on, isn’t it?” remmick whispered, softly pulling her in like a siren to a fisherman “don’t ya want want to break free from all that baggage?” remmick egged on, his powdery white hand gently caressing y/n’s cheek, soothing her from any doubt or fear “how? i can’t be free…i ain’t never gonna be…i’ve been trapped in a loop for years” y/n shook her head, defeat heavy on her heart “no no honey, don’t say that, don’t give up on me now. i promise i can make ya feel better, i can make all those nasty feelings disappear in a blink of an eye” remmick said, his hot palms on each sides of her face, brushing his thumb against her soft lashes.
remmick and y/n gazed at one another, time was still and the tension was heavy. both didn’t speak another word nor didn’t move a muscle, too scared to ruin this moment. seconds ticked by with them still so close to one another, breathing in each other’s aroma, feeling the body heat of each other “this may be ill mannered but i wanna steal a kiss for you sweetheart” remmick said, his eyes still gazing into y/n’s, a smirk on his appetizing lips “why just one? steal as many as ya want” y/n said, a groan deep in her throat “hmmm careful dolly, you might not handle what you let in” remmick moaned out, softly caressing y/n’s hot cheek and his lips kissing against the soft skin of her neck, sensually kissing and licking the exposed skin, tasting and savoring the flavorful flesh gradually kissing up to her impatient lips, their lips danced against each other in sync, it was slow and sensual “honey i gotta taste more, wanna give me more baby?” asked remmick, gripping y/n’s hips firmly and strongly, y/n nodded obediently “yeah i know you wanna give me more” remmick teased, his deep voice made y/n’s heart jump with excitement, this was such a new and addictive feeling.
remmick kissed her neck and the spot he once abused down to her exposed chest then to her soft stomach “god, baby i can’t wait to taste ya, need to clench my thirst” remmick groaned out, squeezing and squishing y/n’s thighs like he was needing bread, greedy and hungry “remmick please” y/n begged impatiently “please? fuck, i love a pretty lady with manners” remmick’s husky voice became muffled from kissing y/n’s soft plush thighs, his knees thumping against the wooden floor,the brown haired male slowly kissing closer to the area that ached the most for his attention.
his soft lips finally latching onto her achy pearl, y/n gasped at the feelings, her hand immediately flying to his short soft hair, guiding his head to where she wanted him most, moaning and crying out as remmick licking and slurping up all the tangy slick that seeped and gushed out “mmmhmm just like that sweetheart, keep cryin’ out for me” remmick groaned, wrapping his masculine hands on y/n’s hips “remmick please! oh god please, right there” y/n cried out, bumping her hips against his eager hot wet lips “i want ya to be with me, if i make you cum, you’re mine dolly” remmick moaned out, gently grazing his teeth against y/n’s soft pearl, y/n jumped a little with a sharp gasp “yes! yes! i’m yours! please remmick!” y/n begged and pleaded, mind mushy and in the clouds with pleasure “that’s what i like to hear, give me what i deserve baby” remmick grinned up at the ruined woman above him then diving back down to his savory meal. his skillful tongue drawing circles around her sensitive and pulsating button while his middle finger gently rubbed her entrance slowly inserting his meaty finger inside, the slippery essence dripped onto his finger and his lips. loud ecstasy, lustful moans bounced off the walls of the old candle lit house, the lewd sounds coming from the slick wet flower remmick was pumping in and out of “hmmm yeah give it to me baby, make me proud, give me what i deserve” remmick’s husky words rang in y/n’s ears, the heat building up in her lower stomach, getting closer and closer to release “re-remmick! oh fuck! mmm please! right there” y/n yelled out with pleasure, dizzy head spinning with thick sin, y/n legs shook aggressively and her frame slumped against the slippery white painted chair, moaning uncontrollable as remmick ruined her. he drank all the nectar that flowed out overstimulating y/n’s abused pearl, y/n whined out and weakly pushed the male from her, still shaking from her release “sorry baby, i had to get every drop outta you” remmick snickered out while caressing her soft flesh, the ripe heated flesh giving off a sweet scent that remmick couldn’t help but take in a deep breath of “fuck you smell sweet…just wanna take a bite” remmick moaned out, gripping y/n’s chin, forcing her to look at him, to look at his glowing red eyes, those red haunting eyes looking deep into her soul “i made you cum honey, you’re mine now” remmick smirked, his sharp knife-like teeth showing, his head dropping to her sweat covered neck, inhaling the sweet scent of her flowing blood “we’d be beautiful together my love. this might pinch a little but it’s so worth it” remmick assured her with such a surgery sweet tone, giving her hope, giving her comfort and warmth, something her heart cried out for years.
everything happened so quickly, one moment the sensation of sharp needle like pain shot through the left side of her neck, hot burning sticky blood oozing out of the open wound then darkness encased her vision. the silence in the house was deafening but it didn’t last long until the loud, panicked gasp was heard from y/n, she felt muscular arms wrapped around her, protecting her, remmick didn’t leave her even when her heart stopped “and she’s awake. welcome back my love. you look as gorgeous as ever” remmick smiled brightly, placing a gentle kiss on the apple of y/n’s cheek, bloody lips leaving a red stain on her cheek “i think it’s my turn for a taste, don’t ya think?” y/n teased, her eyes now red and glowing in the dark room “looks like i created a minx” remmick teased back, biting the plush soft skin of y/n’s bottom lips, moaning in sync with one another quietly “you’re mine sweetheart.” remmick stated, no room for discussion “and you’re mine” y/n replied, her hands running through his soft hair “damn right dolly.” remmick proudly said, pulling her into his warm chest. embracing each other without any worry in the world, the way how it should be. finally at peace, finally feeling worthy and loved, all of remmick.
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inkskinned · 1 year ago
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how odd, to watch the creative writing exercises of angry men in the comments of instagram. you noticed it first in the comments of conventionally attractive women - but then it started appearing everywhere else, too.
a young man talks about what lunch he's packing his wife. there is a little story under it, with 300 likes, fabricated from nothing. "this is pointless. if you treat her like this, she will take the lunch to her office and fuck her boss and divorce him and take all his money."
you scroll. a young woman talks about what lunch she's packing for her husband. it is always uglier when the subject of the video is a woman, you've noticed. "you sit on camera and you smile and you are cheating with the neighbor and then you're going to lie about being sexually assaulted by your husband and -"
you stop reading. it has 567 likes.
where did this even become a thing? people making up stories in their head, disgusting long-winded assumptions about intention and sexual disgrace. the evil twin of fanfiction.
like - it's just a lie. it's a lie that they are telling, baldfaced and assumptive. the undercurrent is of course misogyny, but the trouble is that they're so fucking certain. that's what makes the hairs on the back of your neck rise. there is this pervasive, inventive desire for them to be right. that they must be right. all women are cheating, lying, gold-digging bitches. no exceptions.
in the reverse, when women say i'd rather meet a bear in the woods than a strange man - men funnel in from the sides. they defend each other with a vibrance and capacity for empathy you wish applied to like, the other half of the population. a man could be saying i absolutely did kill her and these creatures in the comments would rise up with king shit. she made it happen. they love each other to the point of this sick strange self-gaslighting, a fervent and unhinged cognitive distortion. all men are good, wonderful people. all women are terrible, conniving, seditious, annoying.
and when did it become okay to just, like... say that kind of a thing? at one point, you find yourself typing out a witty and snappy retort. why are you spending so much time fantasizing about other people babe. but as you stare at the screen, some part of you pictures this man in public, saying these things to your face. his soapbox, high and mighty. his mirrored sunglasses and his empty life: tired and lonely.
what a sad and horrible loop he's locked in. he is terrible to women, so women don't talk to him, which he uses as an excuse to act more terribly. he blames this "failure" on women, rather than on his behavior. it cannot be that he is the problem (that the solution is to just put his ego down and accept women as equals) - he begins to invent a sculpture to replace the flesh frame of each person he sees.
it isn't just a woman posing on the beach. it is now a slut with a desperate need for each person to crave her body. it isn't just a woman yelping with surprise during something upsetting. it is a hysterical, unhelpful cretin who will probably make things worse instead of better. it isn't a person.
someone's very sweet wedding vows get moderate attention on instagram. in the comments, a man says good fucking luck you'll waste your life providing while behind your back she's absolutely fucking the best man. this will be so cringe in 2 months when she walks out on you.
you think - is that what you need to be true? is that what you need to happen, for the world to make sense to you?
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tteokdoroki · 8 months ago
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˗ˏˋ 💎  JJK MEN AS OVERPROTECTIVE GIRL DADS gojo, sukuna & geto .ᐟ
⋆˙ ᯓ★  about ! “a little girl’s first love will always be her father." three scenarios in which the daughters of three jjk men introduce their boyfriends to their fathers. ( 5.7K )
warnings ! minors blank and ageless blogs do not interact. video banner. not beta read. sfw, fluff, angst if you squint, no-curses!au, mentions of pregnancy, children and babies, the children have no names, some family issues, married life, domestic bliss, husband + father!jjk men, mother + fem!reader.
sonic says ! hello everyone !! i wanted to try my hand at some head canons and scenarios, i couldn’t get this idea out of my head so put a pause on working on kinktober to write it lol!! hope you enjoy <3 - m.list ⋆ read on ao3 ! ִ ࣪𖤐₊ 
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ᯓ★ SATORU GOJO:
before meeting you, satoru gojo had never been fond of a family dinner. 
in his childhood home — they were cold and quiet, pockets of clattering cutlery would cut through painstaking silence and distract from the loud emptiness of the seat at the head of the table where his own father was supposed to be. his mother, often solemn and sunken in the shoulders, never spoke. never cooked and slipped small bites to her son in between preparation or steps.
they had staff for that, they had staff for everything.
to keep the household clean and together. to keep him fed and breathing. to keep him alive. all requirements felt almost clinical, the environment in which he was raised almost like the white walls of a hospital — without a trace of love needed for a child like satoru gojo needed to thrive. 
even if he had all the money in the world, he hadn’t a drop of love. he wasn’t ever sure if he was capable of the warm and fuzzy emotion, didn’t know if it was something his heart could ever open up to — sealed in by layers of cool, cold concrete and cement. kept in a safe without a key. at least until you miraculously found it and melted the thick layers of ice blocking satoru’s veins. you brought back colour to his cheeks and light to his eyes, taking up the space in his heart where his family had left a swirling, black void. 
to satoru, you were a saving grace. his everything… and he swore he’d never be like his father; who left his wife unhappy and empty, like a abandoned shell. he promised; he’d do much better than his parents ever did. especially when you found out you were pregnant, even more so when your little girl came into the world with plentiful white curls and lashes, screaming at the top of her teeny tiny lungs. 
at the time, you were sure you’d never seen satoru gojo so in love ( and so teary eyed too ) — but you knew what becoming a parent meant to him. what it meant for the new life you now shared.
but now, having met you and married you and created life with you — satoru had found a new appreciation for family dinners. they were a sacred event, a special time for him to keep up with the lives of his children and let them know he was there. present. 
it wasn’t a time to be imposed on and certainly not by meddlesome boyfriends brought home by sixteen year old daughters.
“so kid, what’s your 401K look like?” 
satoru carries a look of disdain, his nostrils flared, blue eyes narrowed and perfect pink lips curled in an unhappy frown. 
the young boy opposite him, a little scrawny and awkward, shrinks underneath the white haired man’s intense gaze — if you squinted, you could probably see him shaking like a little leaf in the intense wind from across the table “um… i don’t know?”
“hear that little guy? no 401K… how’s he meant to take care of your sister. yeah, yeah.
you’re right, i’ll give him a chance,” he mutters to the baby boy snoozing happily in his arms under his breath, engaging in a one sided conversation before switching his focus back to his daughter’s…sorry excuse for a partner. “okay then… finances, clearly not. academics and common sense —“ pausing,  the white haired father of two clicks his tongue, pushing it into the soft flesh on the inside of his cheek as if to feel his next words out in his mouth. “do you even know what a bouquet of flowers is, kid? a corsage? gojo women don’t play about their flowers, yanno.” 
“sir—“
without giving the boy a chance to speak, gojo drops his intrusive gaze under the table and back up again — pointing an accusatory finger at his little girl’s partner. “your top button’s undone and your shoe laces are untied. you might wanna fix that! if you care about my daughter’s safety!” he turns his nose up all petulant like a picky toddler being forced to eat his veggies, he even sticks his tongue out for good measure. gojo’s eccentric movements nearly jostle his sleepy son in place. the baby whines and gurgles a little bit, only soothed by a pat to his back from dad — who repositions him to snooze over his shoulder.
in a silent, quieter gesture, satoru uses two fingers to point between his eyes and the boy’s. almost as if to say ‘i’m watching you.’
catching him in the act, the eldest gojo daughter bounces into the room carrying plates of steaming hot food, exhaling with worm down patience evident in her body language. “daddy please, you don’t act like this normally. stop messing around.” rolling her eyes, she sets the dishes down, freeing up her hand to smack the back of her dad’s clearly empty skull. just like her mother.
“well sooooorrry for being a good dad and caring about your wellbeing! who you’re dating! who you’re bringing into our bloodline!” gojo rebuttals with petish grunts, unable to cradle the back of his injured head like he does with his son.  
and as if by magic, you, his beautiful and loving and gorgeous wife appear with dinner plates in hand to double down on a scolding the white haired man. amused, you also swat at your husband’s head and tut down at him. “satoru? what are you doing?” there’s something about the way you tease and tell gojo off that always makes his heart race, even after all these years of marriage and raising his kids. he loves you, his family so much. he almost keens into your touch like a pathetic dog, until your daughter starts gagging at the sight — slipping into her set. you were supposed to be watching the baby. not interrogating the poor kid.” 
“we’re having a heart to heart, babe,” gojo swoons, clearing his throat as his head bobs in the direction of his daughter’s boyfriend. “jimbob here was just telling me about his 3.4% grade point average.”
“it’s hiro sir! and uh… 3.5% sir.” the boyfriend in question chirps shyly.
you know that your husband feels… almost threatened by another man entering your daughter’s life — they’ve been practically inseparable since the moment she first opened her eyes. to give up the duty of loving and protecting her and pass it onto someone else is probably what scares him the most. “that’s pretty good hun!” you comment absentmindedly, hoping to pull satoru away from the conversation.
“no it’s not! our daughter has a 4.0%.”
“s-she was failing in math, i was tutoring her.” the boyfriend hopefully interjects again, whispering next when the baby stirs at the dining table. “i hope that makes up for my 401K sir. i-i also work part time to save for college and—!” 
“haha — no i wasn’t!” the younger gojo girl tenses in place, elbowing her date in the ribs not so discretely from under the table. it’s this interaction that makes her father smile, only briefly, before you scowl his way.
“i thought you told them we met at a tutoring session.” 
“you were failing?” you raise a brow, taking your own seat beside her father. 
“see! this boy failure is a bad influence on our daughter!” a glare settles on the slopes of satoru’s angelic features, mirrored by your child’s unimpressed expression across the table. in his arms, your youngest fusses about as if he senses the mounting tension at the table — earning a bounce or two from daddy, who turns your way all matter-of-factly like. “see, this why he doesn’t have a 401K”
“why would a teenager have a 401k, satoru!” comes your exasperated sigh.
“i had one when i was his age.” satoru shoots back and the kid sinks nervously in his seat. the poor boy looks as though he wants to disappear, squirming in place like he’s no better than a worm on a bait hook — it’s torture being interrogated and inspected by someone so close to the person you love most, but even he knows how important satoru’s approval is to your daughter.
she wouldn’t say it now, not when she was all grown up and finding her way out in the world — but she idolised gojo, all of her fondest memories are painted in his colours. shades of sapphire and azure like his vivid eyes, snowy white from his hair that almost rivals the clouds in the sky — the backdrop to days spent riding her father’s shoulders through the big wide world, racing down grassy green hills and wasting the hours away. she wouldn’t admit it here, today, but she never wanted to leave those memories. leave her father behind in her youth — it was written on each dip and curve and highlight on her youthful face, she wanted her father to move into this next phase of life with her too.
“daddy, you were a trust fund baby with shit grades and no prospects until you met mum,” she huffs but her words hold no malice, even if the sass brims over the edge of her tone like an emotionally charged, overflowing glass of water. you’d chide her for cursing — but you know she means well, stubbornly expressing her desire for approval to her man child of a father. “a loser, if you will.” 
gojo slumps, the rosey petals of his plump lips pushing into an age old pout. “how could you say that about dear old dad?” he whines, as though he’s a wounded animal. 
“well she’s not wrong, baby. you were a loser satoru, you still are.” the words are fond and light hearted on your tongue, a similar state to the wisps of a smile that trace over your own lips. leaning in close, you tickle the nose of the gurgling baby boy in his arms, heart heavy with affection — grateful that the one interaction you had with your husband all those years ago ( when he was a scrapier and misunderstood ) led you both to the beautiful chaotic family you have together now. “a hot one at least.” 
“gross.” your daughter groans and buries her embarrassed gaze in the spread of food on the neatly laid table — grabbing a plate and piling it high to cope.
her boyfriend chuckles nervously, wanting nothing more but to eat and do the same. desperate to hide from gojo’s intimidating aura, but too afraid to cross another one of his ridiculous invisible lines. “i think that’s very sweet mrs gojo!”
the brief moment of peace in the war of dad v boyfriend is then interrupted by the white haired man’s temper tantrum, realising that his only daughter is still in the room. “don’t push it kid.” the father of your children all but wails and finds something else about the young couple to pick apart. “you’re sitting too close together! move apart!” 
“daddy—!”
“w-what?”
“i said move it or lose it kid, before i keel over and die of heartbreak.” “betrayal. my own daughter, leaving me for someone else.” 
the two separate, shifting their chairs away from one another despite never actually being too close. you share an empathetic look with your eldest, empathetic to your husband’s actions. you both knew he wouldn’t handle the meeting well, but this was beyond your whilst dreams. the young couple’s hands remain intertwined under the table cloth as the meal begins properly, and when satoru notices, he doesn’t comment — biting down hard on his unhappy tongue. he knows all too well what it’s like to love against the odds, his father in law hardly wanted him around you. it’s not like he wasn’t aware how bad he was for you, how your standards might have even dropped for the man to be with him. but you loved satoru with your entire being, wholly and against all of your own parent’s wishes. 
in a way, the dinner tonight reminds him of himself meeting your father for the first time — how he had to work for his approval too. prove that he was more than just a spoilt brat. too caught up in the memories, the odd sense of loss threaded between his every breath and the love he holds for his daughter settled in his lungs — gojo almost kissed the way you whisper to him adoringly, head drooping to rest on his shoulder mostly to look at your baby but partly to comfort him. “you’re being dramatic satoru. look at them, don’t you just love young love.” 
and he does, he looks, really looks — softly staring across the table and through the haze of his own judgement, noticing how happy his little girl looks all wrapped up with her boyfriend. all he’s ever wanted is to keep her smiling, give her a life that his parents couldn’t give him, he feels all of his resentment and fear or losing his daughter melt away like a plain sheet of paper dissolving in water. he loves her too much to not let her be happy, his baby. his little girl. 
“no, not at all,” satoru finally relents with a wobbling voice and silvery tears that dot his vision — shaking his head back and forth to stop them from dropping onto his sleeping son gathered in his arms. “w-why would you say that? god, is it allergy season? my eyes are killing me. they’re not cute at all, why would you say that i’m crying?” 
your teenage daughter glances over, relief evident in all of her identical gojo features. “no one mentioned you crying, daddy.” she coos softly in an attempt to console satoru.
it doesn’t work, he starts dry heaving and sobbing. which is new for her, he hasn’t cried this hard since her baby brother was born.
the kid scrambles into his pocket and damn near stumbles over the table in order to hand your white haired lover a tissue. “i don’t think you’re crying sir!” 
“shut up!” gojo sniffles dramatically, putting on his best theatre kid act and drapes himself ( and the baby ) all over you. “shit, is this cushioned tissue? three ply?” pale, deft fingers swipe at the blue pools of eyes which well with tears while the kid nods over enthusiastically — desperate to please his girlfriend’s guardian. “good stuff this is… but this doesn’t mean i approve of you for my daughter!”
“gojo!” 
“whaaaaat!? he doesn’t have a 401K!”
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ᯓ★ RYOMEN SUKUNA:
if you’d told sukuna, almost a decade and a half ago, that he would end up with a life shrouded in domestic bliss — he would have laughed in your face. maybe even called you a cunt whilst telling you to fuck off. back then, when he was younger and the spirit of ambitious fire burned brightly in his veins as though he had petroleum for blood, the pink haired man never dreamed of settling down. buying a house. getting married. or having kids.
he was as untameable as a wild horse, with only one goal in mind. to open up his restaurant and get his family out of that shithole town by all and any means. he’d cross whatever rivers he had to, climb whatever mountains he needed to — push past societal hurdles that judged him for the pink in his hair and the thick ink on his body. ryomen sukuna did not care. not about anyone else, only about his goals.
at least, until he met you. 
in many ways, you were a blessing to the world where sukuna was a curse. his complete opposite, the day to his night. though the worlds and lives you came from were completely different — 
nowadays, the man is a little softer around the edges and weaker in the heart — they say that’s what true love does to you.
a set of keys jingle at the front door, followed by the dull thud of trainers on the shoe rack and footsteps on the mahogany wood floor. sukuna hardly looks up from the article he’s reading — something about the best recipes for autumnal vegetables. who would have thought, ryomen sukuna, reading up on gardening. he would tell anyone who asked it was for his restaurant, not because he actually enjoyed it. would make him look soft. 
“hey, i’m home!” the voice that calls to him is sweet and youthful, a dulcet symphony that tugs paternally at the pink haired man’s heart strings. “is ma here?” 
sukuna smiles to himself behind the newspaper, inhaling its fresh ink scent. “in the kitchen, workin’,” he replies absentmindedly, listening to his daughter skid down the hall after dropping her backpack. “oi squirt, you ain’t slick. you know what day it is, report card. now.” 
there’s a dramatic sigh that follows footsteps trailing back into the living room. sukuna’s daughter, his pride and joy clings onto the doorframe with a scowl that could very well rival his own, ruby red eyes twinkling with annoyance — she’s in a rush to chat with her mother after school, he knows, but he can’t help but to tease her just a bit. “s’in my bag, can i go now?” she whines impatiently but takes off at the first gentle nod from her father in reply. 
but the pink haired parent’s peaceful evening is quickly turned upside down at the discovery he makes in the bottom of his pride and joy’s bag. no matter how much time has passed, how many decades have gone by in which he’s been a father — nothing could prepare him for this new challenge, the new wave of emotions that come with having a tween daughter and swirl hotly in his chest.
“what the fuck is this?” he announces with a foul snarl, slipping into the kitchen where his girls chitchat idly over a test batch of cookies sukuna had made earlier in the day. for his restaurant of course. not because he’s a doting husband or loving father. he’s got an image to uphold and it’s not one of domestic bliss. 
his daughter chirps, not looking up from the sweet treat she picks apart and pops into her mouth — seated on the kitchen island while you work away on your laptop. “what’s what, daddy?” her innocent nonchalance about the older sukuna’s discovery almost makes him pop a vein. “also, ma told you to stop saying the f-word. so, swear jar.”
the hulking man with the contrastingly soft pink pokes his tongue into the soft epithelium of his cheek, his jaw ticks and a playful frustration tingles throughout all four of his limbs. the swear jar was something you’d brought into play as soon as [daughter name] had learned how to talk, afraid that your rough and rugged husband’s potty mouth would rub off on her young impressionable mind. every time a cursed word falls from between ryomen sukuna’s lips, a couple hundred yen is popped into the jar as punishment. the thing was practically full by your baby’s third birthday, so you’ve been putting it down as her college fund ever since.
paper rustles between deft and tattooed fingers as sukuna reveals not a report card, but a crinkled note like the kind passed back and forth between distracted kids in the middle of that one class before lunch. “don’t play dumb with me, squirt.” ryomen holds the note up to the light so that both of his girls can see, blood diamond eyes squinting so he can inspect it better. somebody get this guy his glasses. “‘do you want to go out with me? tick for yes, cross for no.’” he reads out loud, each word leaving a bitter taste on his tongue, his frown so deep that lines of disapproval form on his well-aged face.
thoughts of the once all-important report card vanish into thin air, the relaxed aura in the room replaced with a palatable tension that not even your husband’s finest knives could cut. your precious baby girl shoots up from the counter to scramble with her dad over the note in hand. he holds her back with a large palm to the forehead.
“oh my god! you weren’t supposed to see that! daddy, give it here. please!”
“fat chance, squirt,” the tattooed man retorts. “you passin’ notes in class? that why you’re hidin’ your report card?” 
“you can have my report card, when you give that back!”
with the two standing side by side, the resemblance strikes you as clear as day. they share the same hair, same scowl and same rugged intonation to their voices. they��re both yours, your entire world under one roof. before they can blow said root off, you stand between the elder and younger sukuna — turning to your husband with hooded eyes and a gentle hand on the centre of his broad chest. “oh ryo,” you coo in flirtation, slowing his train of thought as you sneakily swipe the crushed paper from his grip. “shut up ‘n let me see that.”
your daughter gags behind you at the display of affection, contrasting with the amused smirk you share with your long time lover. after all this time, marriage and the perfect kid, you’re still able to make a fool out of him — make sukuna’s heart skip a beat and a heat he refuses to acknowledge crawl up the back of his neck. he’s gone soft, for you and his family. for now, for you, he relents on taunting his precious little girl. 
casting your gaze over the note, you grin at the pink-ink chicken scratch scribbled across the page. it’s sweet and endearing, reminding you of young love. “did atsushi finally ask you out?” you ask tenderly, handing the paper back to your daughter who cuddles it to her chest like the  physical version of a precious memory. 
a bashful expression lines the contours of her face, seeping into features you’d recognise from your husband on her. sukuna would argue that she has the shape of your eyes and your beauty too — but all you see is a culmination of love. “ma you were so totally right, playing hard to get really works!” 
she gushes dreamily over her crush like it’s puppy love, biting her lip and bouncing on the spot. 
“like a charm, every time.” comes your entertained response, much to your husband’s dismay.
“you weren’t playin’ hard to get with me…” sukuna questions rather than states, trying to piece together parts of the gossip that he’s missed. an anxiety corners the beat of his heart at the thought of his daughter dating, something in which the burly man never thought he would be afraid of. the world had been hard on sukuna; he only worries that it’s not as safe for his pride and joy as it were for him.   “never mind that; the brat asked you out with a piece of paper?  y’better not have said yes. we have standards here.” 
his words make you roll your eyes with the hint of a smile. ryomen almost reminding you of your own father around the time you’d met him.
your daughter scrunches her nose petulantly, gearing herself up for a witty reply. “well ma married you, so her standards can’t be that high.” she snaps, earning a stifled laugh from you and an unimpressed grunt from her hardheaded dad. “and no, i didn’t. told him he needed to ask me out  properly. face to face. with words. he said to meet him on the running track tomorrow at lunch for a surprise!”
pulling her into a hug, you kiss her round youthful cheek. “oh baby, i'm so happy for you!”
“well i ain’t! show me the damn kid, need to see what kind of pitiful brat wants to ask out my little girl,”  sukuna crosses his arms and grumbles to himself, black ink tattoos flexing menacingly as he does so. almost as if he’s preparing to threaten the kid before even meeting him. “whatever happened to askin’ for permission to court or whatever. he should have been on my doorstep asking for your hand.” 
“firstly you would have said no, and secondly this isn’t the olden days, dad. nobody does that anymore.” your cheeky daughter chides him loudly, her words slipping over her snarky little tongue. like father like daughter, the way they snip and snap at one another has an uncanny resemblance.
tilting your head upwards towards your fuming husband, you laugh breathlessly in a way that washes away his anger.“she’s right ryo; though my dad hardly approved of you either.” you say softly. even now, you make him feel weak in the knees and dizzy in the mind, like he’s so anything for you. whoever dates his daughter should feel the same about her.
“i freakin’ earned it, didn’t i? 
“just barely.”
sukuna huffs but settles a hand on your waist from behind and his head atop yours. he needs to soothe himself somehow, his daughter is growing too fast. “stop ganging up on me and lemme see the damn kid.” 
“here, isn’t he cute.” 
lips downturned, sukuna craned his neck to look at your daughter’s phone from over your shoulder — scrutinising the instagram page that she’s opened now offering the kid his only child has taken an interest in like a lamb at the slaughterhouse. “brat looks like a noodle.” haughty laughter fills the kitchen, reverberating against the bones and organs in ryomen’s chest and buzzing right though your back. “you’re right i woulda said no as soon as he fuckin’ turned up!” 
two sets of scolding eyes similar in shape, belonging to the two girls he loves the most swivel around to face the pink haired man disapprovingly.
“ryomen sukuna!” 
“daddy!”
“yeah yeah, i know. swear jar.”
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ᯓ★ SUGURU GETO:
“my love, were you aware that our little munchkin has a boyfriend?”
suguru looks up from the bubbling pot of child friendly pasta sauce on the stove. if it were just the two of you having dinner tonight, like it was merely three (nearly four) years ago — he would have planned for a more adventurous meal. perhaps sought out a bottle of fine aged wine for you both to enjoy on the balcony and even gotten a dessert to sweeten the date in. but now, you both had more than two hungry tummies to worry about, and bottles of wine could only be purchased when the little one was off with her uncle satoru.
“no, i wasnt. i don't believe that’s come up in discussion before,” your dark haired lover turns his narrow gaze to the giggly little girl swaddled in your arms — her chubby cheeks and dark, curious eyes just peeking out of the fluffy duck-themed towel you’ve wrapped her in. bath time is usually after bed, but someone got into the paint pots at nursery school and managed to get blotches of blue streaked through her hair and under her fingernails. “care to elaborate sweetheart?”
suguru taps the wooden sauce spoon against the side of the pot and swipes his hands on a nearby tea towel before allowing them to rest on his hips, look of faux irritation settling on the contours of his face and slopes of his features. thin brows draw together like closed gates in the middle of his forehead — the expression earning airy light and squealed laughter from your baby girl.
“nuh uhhh! not my boy-fend!” she babbles her way through the big girl word, missing a few syllables here and there, but geto still grins with pride — happily leaning forward to press enthusiastic kisses to his little angel’s damp forehead. “no boy-fend papa!
bouncing your daughter slightly, you cock your hip out to hold her weight and cheekily roll your eyes. “such a daddy’s girl, lying to him already? he’ll let you get away with anything if you keep that up,”  though you muster up a pout to rival the toddler’s, the uncanny resemblance warming the cockles or your husband’s heart, your tone is playful and adoring — it’s lilt full of love for the baby girl you made together. you pinch her chubby cheek, waggling it from side to side as more of her childlike laughter tangles with the scent of pasta in the air.  “we bumped into the fujioka boy and his mother at the gates this morning, he held her hand all the way up to the classroom. it was quite cute. you had to be there, love.” 
“i’m sure,” he responds, gentle mirth and protectiveness swirling in dark framed eyes.
you relay the information to your husband as though it’s hot gossip fresh from the press, whispering over your dark-haired daughter’s head not so secretly. even with the hair and eyes to match suguru’s, she’s still just as much your carbon copy as she is his — he tends to say all of her spirit comes from you, not to mention the way she laughs and smiles.
shaking her head between you, both — your baby chimes in brightly. “noooo mama!! boys are gross, i don’ hold hands with boys.”
this time suguru manoeuvres to pinch her other chubby cheek, clicking his tongue as he does so. “not even papa?” he pretends to pout, crouching down with his hands on his knees to coo into her sweet little face. 
“nuhhh, papa isn’t gross!! papa is my favourite boy!” she quickly tacks on with a dribbly smile.
“that’s right. i’ll be the only boy in your life always, just you and i princess,” your husband reaffirms with a firm shake of his head and presses a promise in the form of a kiss to your daughter’s nose. her chubby little hands, still wet from bath time, smack either side of suguru’s face and keep him close — close enough for her to plant a soggy smooch onto his forehead affectionately. a wet kiss only a father could love. “that settles it, i’m no longer sharing my kisses. papa says no boyfriends until you’re ninety.”
once your two loves are done sharing their candied affections, you seat your daughter on the edge of the kitchen table to allow geto the room to finish up with dinner. the comforting symphony of baby babbles and kitchen utensils clanking and food boiling fills the steamy air, it makes you smile. it feels like home. “oh come on suguru, they’re only three. don’t you think it’s the tiniest bit adorable?” you say with a sing-songy voice, entertaining both your little one and her father.“they even share their animal crackers during break time and crayons when it’s time to colour, one of the supervisors told me.”
with his back now to you as he stirs through the pasta sauce one final time, you hardly miss the way suguru’s shoulders tense at the mention of the little boy your girl has taken a liking to. he wouldn’t dare frown about it in front of her, what upsets daddy upsets baby too. that’s why he’s always smiling for her, and you find the man’s subtle jealousy endearing. it’s always supposed to be suguru and his princess, with no room for anyone else ( aside from you, of course ) 
“nope, no boyfriends. no amount of cuteness can convince me otherwise.” voice falling tight and flat, suguru reaches into the cupboards for plates and bowls to dish up his lovingly prepared home cooked meal, slamming them into place at the table with a little less patience than before. 
the idea of some… little boy chasing after his daughter’s heart? over his dead body.
“boy-fends are gross!” but your daughter is forever a daddy’s girl, furrowing her brow and crossing her tiny arms in an act of defiance — supporting her papa’s cause. boyfriends are bad! 
fuelling her excitement and even more support for papa — food is served shortly by your husband, who plates up as best as he can with toddler safe dinnerware. you adjust your little girl into her high chair at the table, giggling to yourself softly when she cranes her neck to keep an eye on suguru. “does that mean papa’s gross? he’s technically mama’s boyfriend.”
“husband, love, there’s a difference.” 
three plates of hot, aromatic spaghetti are organised in a table — each a domestic reminder of the family suguru geto has been blessed with. in that moment, he thinks he would be happy if he spent the rest of his life as just the three of you. briefly his mind wonders to setting a fourth place at the table in a decade or so’s time, once his daughter truly is old enough to date. the very thought makes him feel ill. 
round, doe eyes dart between you and suguru as you take your seats either side of your darling daughter at the table — she mimics you both with fumbling little fingers that reach for her baby fork and concentrates as she attempts to repeat your husband’s words. “can i have a husbsband-love?”
you laugh and kiss her cheek, helping her to gather a bite of pasta on the full end of her fork. “husband. just husband, my love. make sure you blow on your food please!” she follows your instructions with a comical air, cheeks puffing and breath huffing while you explain why her father is a second away from blowing his top. “good girl. husband’s aren’t for babies, baby. and i think papa might not like it if you got one now.”
“if you got one ever!” suguru interjects, eyes narrowing while he fights with his lips to avoid a scowl. “the answer is still no, princess. no husbands and no boyfriends until papa is old, cold and in the ground.” 
now that your hands are free, you grab the nearest tea towel and wind it up in your grip — launching its tail end at geto as though to swat at  him. he jumps in surprise and your daughter shrieks in amusement as she begins babbling again. “don worry, papa!. fujioka is  no my boy-fend!!” she says over food in her mouth and happy tummy. geto wipes over her face again. she’ll definitely need another bath later. “hasegawa is!!”
the pair of you share a look and this time, you really think suguru might just throw in the towel. 
how could he compete with pre-school love and paint pots shared over playtime gossip? 
“two boyfriends? oh god, love… i think need some air.”
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