#enjoy some versions hehe

[litafan4ever]

AJ Lee - WWE Monday Night RAW (August 26, 2013)

[iced-souls]

They’re having a great time I see.

[rivaiin]

finished smtv just in time for raidou

[marsmaximoff]

more.. more thanos twitter links.. I beg you

❤️‍🔥 squid game twitter links nsfw ²

content warning: fem!viewer. these are explicit smut videos, watch at your own risk. you have been warned! if you don’t like this, don’t watch.

author’s note: well well well, seems like y’all enjoyed PART 1!!, cause i got many requests for more hehe. and honestly, i’m more than happy to feed you. make sure to be logged into twt/x beforehand, if some of the links stop working let me know. enjoy <3

〇 salesman (recruiter)

the funnier version of russian roulette

proving you he owns you now

△ inho (frontman) / sangwoo (218)

he’s thick

size kink through the roof

good girl

□ thanos (230)

this is the way he lets you ride him

he was feeling a bit softer

some car sex, why not

shhhhh

till you’re drooling

why were you dancing with those men?

〇 thanos + namgyu (230 + 124)

apologizing for voting x

△ namgyu (124)

me next who said that?

y’all im obsessed with his tattoos help

he’s got a crazy oral kink

softer days

make up sex

he’s such a tease

□ junho (police)

he’s so good to you

love language

〇 myunggi (333)

because he’ll never share you

△ pink guard

he’ll tell you what the next game is in return

□ gyeong-seok (246)

fav position?

lingerie kink

your pleasure’s his priority

deep and nice

〇 hyun-ju (120)

right after hearing you had a shitty day

you’ll be late to the dinner…

she lives for having you sit on her face

@stariou @unapersona0818 i hope they’re good enough and you enjoy them <3

[calcifiedunderland]

I love your selkie Jade fic!! It’s so good and so creative! I need a Floyd courting fic like I need air, maybe where Yuu has no idea what Floyd strange behavior is, but the octavinelle crew is acting very odd and extra smug when they see Floyd and the prefect together

🐬💥💌Request received! Thank you for your message, your delivery is ready~

THANK YOU!!! I’m glad you liked the Jade Selkie fic AH!!! I really wanted to write a Floyd version too hehe, hope you enjoy~

Floyd Leech, ft. Selkie

Jade! Azul!

Floyd was confident no one would dare take his pelt. It was easy to steal a selkie’s pelt when it was left unattended (like Jade’s) or hidden (like Azul’s). Floyd always knew where his was - always, always, on his person.

When he had to go to the surface to attend NRC, their father gave him two pieces of advice. One, always pay attention to your footwear. And two, always keep your pelt with you. Whether it’s in your bag, over your shoulders, or under your clothes.

People expected Floyd to be more lax with his skin, but he took the advice to heart more than Jade, who liked showing it off tantalizingly to those grubby landers. So, Floyd’s pelt was always under his clothes. He hated the feeling of extra layers, but he hated being parted with the pelt even more. The very thought of being taken away from the ocean made his human skin crawl.

Imagine his panic when he couldn’t find it once he returned to his dorm after club practice.

He’d tied the pelt securely underneath his basketball jersey, and practice went off without a hitch. He was fired up that day too. He’d won points left and right, and left the gym feeling great. Up until he realized his pelt was no longer snugly tied to his torso, and his heart dropped. He’d passed through the gym, the entire school, the mirror chamber, and through the Lounge up to his dorm. He could’ve lost it anywhere. To anyone.

Jade opened their dorm door to see Floyd flinging things around their room, and launching himself to Jade’s side to dig through his things. “What in the Seven’s are you doing, Floyd?” He didn’t even need to a response when Floyd turned to him with sheer panic on his face. Jade felt his throat tighten. Floyd lost his pelt.

Meanwhile, you stared at the… cloth? in front of you. Earlier today, you’d stopped by the gym while running errands for Crowley. As you made your way across, you noticed a teal heap amidst the basketballs. You knelt, curious, and picked it up. Wait, isn’t this what Jade and Floyd wear?

You didn’t really know what it was, only that it seemed special to them. You never wanted to be rude and ask him about it though, since you figured Floyd had his reasons for hiding it, while Jade has his own for flaunting it.

That thing was massive. You didn’t even see a zipper on it, so it couldn’t be a jacket. Not to mention, it felt kind of… leathery, almost. Like fish skin or something.

When you got to Ramshackle, you folded it neatly before tucking it in a spare shoebox you had. It had a few jewelry pieces in it with shells and pearls. You also chucked a shoe polish in, as well as some funky patterned socks you didn’t want. You decided to leave them in, tucked under the cloth. Maybe Floyd would like them.

The next day, you walked into Mostro Lounge with the box. You overheard some students freaking out, whispering about Floyd being in one of his moods, but this time it was even worse.

You frowned, suddenly nervous. Floyd’s freaking out? Why? You clutched the box a bit tighter. Was it because of the cloth?

In Azul’s office, Floyd was damn near about to blow the whole dorm up. It took Jade wrestling him down and Azul placating him, to get him to calm down just a fraction.

Even now, Jade had to keep watchful eye on him while Azul had a million contracts on his desk, hair wild from running his hands through it. Currently, Floyd was staring listlessly at the wall, bouncing his leg wildly. Who could have possibly been brazen enough to take Floyd’s pelt…? Jade and Azul had an understanding. They’d make them pay for this.

You overheard someone say Floyd was in Azul’s office, so you knocked on the door. “Hey, is Floyd in there?” You called, walking in. Jade glanced at Floyd, who seemed to at least compose himself in front of you. How interesting.

You stopped in front of Floyd, who looked up at you from the couch. He looked up at you, irritated. You cleared your throat, presenting the box to him. “I found your… belongings so I thought I’d give it back to you. It was in the gym, I figured you didn’t want to lose it.”

Floyd’s eyes zeroed in on the box, sensing the pelt, and he grabbed it from you. He nearly tore the top off, but at last he had his pelt back. He almost tore his uniform off then and there to feel it against his skin when he suddenly stopped.

You gave it back to him. You, gave it back to him. You gave it back.

Jade and Azul stared wide eyed at you and Floyd. You cleared your throat uncomfortably, “I also put some extra stuff in the box too, if you want it.”

Floyd lifted the skin a bit, and his eyes went wide. Glittering jewelry, shells, and pearls nestled in the folds of the pelt. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears, and Jade and Azul gasped.

“Oho?” Jade said, grinning slowly. “Oho?” Azul looked shocked. Floyd lifted the pelt out, and more jewelry fell out between the folds. Jade lifted his hand to his mouth, looking sly, “how forward of you, (Name). And in front of us, too.” Azul rose an eyebrow, pleased, “I must say, I didn’t expect you to be the pelt thief. What an interesting development.”

Floyd was quiet, staring at everything in shock. He didn’t expect this from you, Shrimpy. You always were able to surprise him, but this took the bait. It was like everything started to make sense.

You had to know what you’d done. You gave Floyd jewelry, something merfolk did when they wanted to show affection. Not only that, you gave him things directly related to his interests. He eyed the shoe polish with interest, grinning widely. This was textbook courting rituals.

“Ne, shrimpy really is the best~” He stood, mood completely changed. You shrank back a bit as he leered over you. As he gazed into your eyes, you felt the acute sense that you just did something big.

“Don’t you worry Shrimpy, I’m gonna repay you back real good~” Floyd winked at you. You smiled nervously, conscious of the others’ smirks, “I-I should go.” You scurried out of Azul’s office, hearing Floyd’s raucous laughter echo behind you.

Floyd’s kinda weird today, you thought. You didn’t particularly mind it, though. Although dealing with Azul and Jade was a doozy.

Azul ran into you earlier, although you weren’t sure it was on accident. He’d hummed cryptically, with that sneaky businessman smirk he had when he knew something you didn’t. “I must say, it was incredibly forward of you to present Floyd’s pelt, especially with extra gifts. He was energetic all night, he hardly did any Lounge work,” Azul’s words somehow held little annoyance. Confusion filled you. His ‘pelt’? And the jewelry and shoe polish? Was it a big deal?

Azul continued, “You should find Jade later. He will want to speak to you, especially to go over your plans.” Your brow furrowed, echoing “plans?” Azul nodded, amused. “It’s more informal, since we’ve known you before. Just to discuss matters - the timing, ideal circumstance, your intentions, so forth.” He’d walked off before you could ask more. Your head swam.

You hadn’t been able to properly speak to Jade. He was all cordial smiles and, surprisingly, bowed to you multiple times. An amused smile graced his face, and he seemed to revel in your alarm. He’d brush past you just before you could ask him anything, and was always replaced by Floyd bounding up to you and taking you into his arms in giggles.

Ever since you gave him the box, Floyd was strangely clingy. His constant hugging and nuzzling you was borderline affectionate, and it made your heart stutter and stomach feel fluttery. You noted that he was wearing the jewelry you stuck in the box, next to the pelt peeking out of his shirt.

“Hey, (Name),” he said while leaning against you. You were both in the library. Floyd insisted on accompanying you everywhere, and seemed to be exhausted with how much he was yawning at you. “We should go swimmin,’ I’m bored here.”

You sighed, shutting your notebook. “I have work to do, Floyd.” You spied a couch nearby, “you could take a nap maybe, if you’re tired?” Floyd looked you up and down, before grinning. “Nah.”

He tossed you over his shoulder, and you shouted, making the ghost librarians shush you loudly. “Floyd!” He laughed and ran out before the ghosts could catch him.

He ran you all the way to the back of Mostro Lounge by the private fish tanks, where the tanks for the merfolk were. Finally he put you down, still cuddling you as the blue light from the waters washed over you.

Seeing the tanks, you suddenly remembered Azul talking about a pelt. Your mind flashed to the cloth you picked up from the gym. The skin-like texture. Floyd’s moodiness. The secrecy. You’d heard the word ‘Selkie’ being thrown around before, and you knew Floyd was a mer. The thought hid you like a truck - if the pelt belonged to Floyd, then was he a Selkie? Your heart pounded. And you gave the pelt back to him.

Jade walked in, holding a drink and potion in hand. “Ah, Floyd, you’re back.” Floyd grinned at him, shaking you side to side in his arms, “hey Jade~ me n’ Shrimpy are going to take a swim!” Jade smiled pleasantly, gaze locking onto you. “Could I have a moment with (name), please? It should only take a minute.”

Floyd pouted, but Jade gave him a look. Finally, let you go with a little sulk, but not before giving you a final squeeze. “I’ma be back, Shrimpy!~ Don’t go anywhere!” He flounced off, leaving you with Jade.

Jade handed you the drink and potion. “This is on the house, and this is an underwater breathing potion. I thought you may need one,” he said cryptically. You smiled warily at him, and you dumped the potion into the drink to mix it.

Jade sighed happily. “Mother and Father will be so thrilled.” You sipped your drink, throat feeling dry. “What do you mean?”

Jade continued as if he didn’t hear you, “please be gentle to Floyd. He’s never done this before, but I’ve never seen him so besotted with anything before.” Jade suddenly became serious, looking you in the eye. “You will not hurt him. And you won’t need to worry about him. I assure you, our parents took our lessons quite seriously where courting was concerned. He was always the one to wear his heart on his fins, so to speak. He’s quite romantic at heart, really.”

You nearly choked. “C-courting?!” Jade nodded, slowly grinning mischievously. “Of course. You made your intentions quite clear when you gave Floyd back his pelt. With some lovely courting gifts, no less.” Jade looked fondly at you, patting your shoulder. “You will be a welcome part of the family. Usually gifts such as jewelry come much later in the courting process, but I expect you’ll be betrothed quite soon with how taken Floyd is with you.”

Now you actually choked. “He- what?!” You couldn’t lie, you weren’t exactly upset about Floyd liking you, but courting? This was fast. Jade nodded. If he sensed your growing panic and confusion, he certainly ignored it (or found it entertaining) as he smiled at you. “Yes, he was quite pleased that you were the one who found his pelt. Ah, young love~”

You downed your drink as Floyd bounded back to you, sweeping you up. “Shrimpy~ I’m back!” He’d stripped off his outer garments. His pelt was draped over his shoulders like a towel, and he grinned down at you. “Let’s go~ I’ll keep ya safe, promise!”

As he waded into the waters, you decided to just accept your fate. You reached up and kissed Floyd on the cheek, pressing your face to his gently. He squished you against him as the water rose and his lower half meshed with the pelt, turning back into his eel form.

He rubbed his cheek against yours, “I’m happy you gave me back my pelt, Shrimpy.” You felt Floyd smile against your face, and you hugged him back. “Y’know what? I’m happy too, Floyd.”

THE MAN THE MYTH THE EEL!!! Floyd!!!!!

[otaku553]

Flames (Part 1)

(NEXT) ->

(Spade Pirate Sabo AU Masterpost)

This one took AGES i hope you all enjoy!! It's probably a 2-parter but pending how my finals week is looking I might take a hiatus for next week. As I'm writing this post I've just finished my stat mech final which is great! (I wish unspeakable terrors on the person who decided that stat mech was required for the neurobiology-focused major. i get that it's useful for some bayesian statistics but like,,,,, come on i dont need to know thermodynamics)

I did originally have 2 more pages to post with this but scrapped them unfortunately, but I do hope the revised version, which will come out with the next part, will be enjoyable. I was also waffling briefly on whether to color this comic since it turned out so long but there were some panels that I envisioned so clearly in color that I just decided I might as well color everything. I'm especially proud of how the fruit turned out, I want to eat it

Feel free to send in asks if you want annotations of different things I decided on and details I added in each page :) I'm quite proud of this one hehe

[twoshootsofvodka]

Where Roses Bloom, Love Shall Blossom

Nana x Male Reader

length: 18k words

tags: fluff, smut, creampie, little bit of ass-play, L-bomb

A/N: This is my first ever smut or even fanfic, and I know there is a lot of room to improve, but I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! I may have used a few too many references/memes, so sorry in advance if it throws you off. It’s just kind of my style. I also self-inserted on occasion (like the whole premise of the story that came to me after watching this video), but I hope it’s not too disruptive. If you have any suggestions, critiques, or requests, my DMs and Asks are open. Other than that, happy birthday to Best Girl Nana, and thanks for reading or even sharing!

_______________________________________________________

[It's mid-April]

- We are all done, Sir! - Your makeup artist announces, after putting on the finishing touches.

- Thank you!

From the mirror in front, a more handsome version of you is staring back. He is the new favourite variety show host of the nation, who can make any of his guests laugh to tears, improvise in an instant when his partner slips up, and even outside set, is usually the heart of the party thanks to his easygoing and sensitive nature. He is the perfect media personality. So much so, that even you like to watch him from time to time.

But actually being him? It does get a bit overwhelming. The busy schedules, having to always be on your toes so you don't miss an opportunity to crack a joke, which is even harder, since you are still not completely fluent in Korean, and the constant smiling, even to guests you would rather not have. It's just a bit much. But obviously, you wouldn't change any of it. It’s a dream come true, really, getting to meet all these fantastic people in the industry.

- Is everything all right Sir?

The woman asks worriedly when she sees you lost in thought, fearing she messed something up.

- Of course! I'm just always surprised how you girls always manage to turn me actually handsome. I swear this isn't even a mirror, just a recording of me with filters on. You reply with a warm smile, waving her worries away.

- Hehe! Of course it's not Sir. And I didn't even add much makeup at all. Just a touch up really.

- In any way, you did a fantastic job. Thank you!

- Thank you Sir, and you're welcome.

You stand up, and read some news while you wait for further instructions. You haven't checked any of the previous episodes of this show, because you wanted to make your appearance authentic. You also wanted to figure out your partner during the chat, without narrowing the possibilities down.

The only prep you had to do was choosing a nickname (truly a gamer's worst nightmare), and getting a picture of yourself as a kid. It took mere hours to find a name that could lead your partner into guessing who you are without immediately giving it away, or even the fact that they are talking to a foreigner: The Little Prince.

After a bit, the director finally calls for you. As discussed, you put in the noise-cancelling earphones, queue up some of your latest favourite songs, and take a seat on the left side of the set. The playlist consists mostly of K-pop songs, since it's highly likely that your partner is an idol, and the songs might help you figure out their identity, if their song comes up at a good time.

They tell you to scan the QR code on the table in front of you, which opens the chat room. Your partner enters right after, and you read their name: Judy.

*First clue. They are most likely a girl. In which case, I should take the initiative.*

Having worked with over a hundred idols, you start to wonder whether you've met them already

Hello there!

ㅎㅎ Hello

*Second clue: probably doesn’t know prequel memes.*

Should we drop the honorifics?

Oh, so suddenly? Sure

*Third clue: presumably Korean.*

How are you?

I'm great! You?

Me too

*Maybe I should have prepared some questions at least. Not particularly in the mood to improvise.*

Thankfully you don't have to think much, as you see three little dots pop up, indicating that the person on the other end is typing.

I was wondering What's your favourite season?

You don't even need to think about this. Spring for sure Not even close

OMO Mine too The weather has been so nice lately

YES!!! And the colours And the smells And the bees And the birds I love it so much

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ I see I feel the same way I already think we will be good friends

I hope we will bee Sorry I had to sneak in at least one pun

Don't apologise for being funny!

Heh, thanks How about sunsets?

I love sunsets! Half my gallery is filled with pictures of sunsets

Saaame One day, I saw the sunset forty−four times! You know−− one loves the sunset, when one is so sad...

Oh But How?

Oh, that's just a quote From The Little Prince

Aaaah Your name! Have you read it many times?

Once every year for the past few years I like to see how much more I understand every time I read it With that I know how much I've changed since last year

Hmm Very sentimental Maybe But back to spring and sunsets I have a great place I visit in late spring It's a bit far out from the city, but the flowers and sunsets are more than worth it I can show you one time, if you're down

Sounds great! I also have a place I visit when I'm free I can take you there in return

Nice

*Should I also reveal my birthday? Eh, why the hell not.*

Maybe you can take me there for my birthday It's coming next month

I can But only if you take me to your place on my birthday

Sure When is that?

This month

I see Another spring child No wonder we're on the same wavelength

That's what I was about to say!

The conversation dies off for a bit, but before you have come up with a new topic, the tablet in front of you comes to the rescue.

"Send each other your screenshot of your homepage"

You first check your screen to make sure there isn't anything on it that's scandalous, or would give you away. After not finding anything needing to be removed, you send 'Judy' the picture. Hers arrives shortly after that. At first glance, it's nothing special. Solid black background, neatly ordered folders with english names that all end with a blue heart emoji.

*Maybe she likes blue?*

You have similar folders, all in English too, but there are some extras. Notably meditation and gaming. The background is different though, as it's a picture of your beloved furry companion.

I see you have Netflix downloaded What have you been watching lately?

Ah, yes Mostly American teen movies so I can improve my English Nice

*Yeah, def Korean.*

But I also watch a lot of animations and YouTube

Like what?

Mukbang, and Jangbbijju Also this (네가 빠진 세계 - fall for you)

She sends you the thumbnail of an unfamiliar show

Never seen this Maybe I will watch it later You should! The fantasy genre is interesting And the heroine is really pretty

*Judy is a girl, all right*

Yeah, Nana is really pretty

Right? You know her?

I do But I know every idol I've never met her though Have you?

No, but I'd love to She seems fun

Right, she does

There is short of silence before Judy sends a message

Is that your dog in the background? It's really cute

Yes he is! He's my best friend He's turning 10 this year

Oh, he's getting quite old

Yeah, but he's just as youthful as a puppy

Awww Good to hear And I see you meditate?

Yes My days can get pretty hectic It helps me stay relaxed and focused

Maybe I should try it

You should It’s pretty easy I can teach you the basics if you want

Thanks ^^ Are you an idol? Is that why you do it?

Noooo I can't dance at all And I sound like an untuned violin played by a 4 year old

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ There are some prodigies who can play well at that age

Sure, but not this one

And the gaming folder? You got games on your phone? 👀

ㅋㅋㅋㅋ I have a few to pass the time I mostly game on PC But certainly not as much as I used to

And what do you play?

Some League and Overwatch with friends I also picked up the new Zelda game recently

I love Nintendo games!

Yeah, they rarely miss The company's shit though Super greedy

*That's gonna get cut from the video*

O.O Are they?

Uhh yeah But let's not get into that What music have you been listening to?

She sends you a picture of her Spotify queue

Interesting Much less Korean than I thought And I only know a few of them

Send me yours

One sex *sec!!! I meant sec!

*Good grief...*

Hmmm I don't know any of these

Yeah I thought you wouldn't Not the genre a 'Judy' would listen to

*hmph* I'll let you know, my music taste is very diverse I bet not even the viewers know these songs

I'll take that bet What do I win?

A kiss

HUH?

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ Just kidding I'm not sure yet

Okay... How about you buy me some tteokbokki if I win?

Deal And if I win, you'll get me dakbal!

Deal Let's shake on it

Okay But don't look!

Fine, I wont

You get up from your armchair, head to the edge of the wall, and put your hand past the corner. After waiting for a few seconds, you don't feel anything, and moving your hand around a bit doesn’t yield any success either. Then it hits, that your partner is probably Korean and female, so she is likely much shorter than you. Carefully lowering your hand, it finally finds hers. The hand jolts a little at the first contact, but grabs your hand quickly after.

It feels delicate: Small and smooth with fingers you can only describe as elegant. It's not just their shape and how they feel in your comparably larger hands, but also the amount of rings decorating them. On top of that, you bet her manicure matches the lavishness. The handshake barely lasts a second or two, then you get back to your seats.

Okay I know exactly who you are

How?

You're a princess!

Won't lie I feel quite fancy right now

Knew it! Extremely generous of you to let me touch your hand Your Highness

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

Do our 'dates' still stand, Princess? Can you set aside time from your schedule to meet a lowly peasant like myself?

Aahhh, well Princesses need to relax too And your proposition seems suitable So yes, we shall go on these 'dates'

You honour me Princess

Okay, okay that's enough But do you really know who I am?

I have some guesses You're def a female idol And I'm pretty sure we haven't met yet Which I can't say about too many people Do you have any guesses about me?

If you didn't lie about not being an idol Then I have a few But I don't know which one of them have met a lot of idols So I'm not sure at all

Well, I never lie Just keep thinking You might not eve know me But that's fine

Whit that last message sent, the screen on the table lights up once again

“Send your childhood picture to your partner”

*Oh, right. The picture. If she knows me, this will help her a lot.*

This should help you a bit

Aaaah, cute Wait Are you a foreigner? Here's mine

Maybe... Awww That's really cute too

The screen instructs you again: “Draw each other in one minute”

*One minute? Not like it matters. I can't draw for shit.*

The 60 seconds go by like a minute in Africa, and your masterpiece is done. Kind of.

Sorry, I tried my best.

It's good! Much better than mine, that's for sure

You look at the picture for a bit, and download it before the connection is severed and you're kicked from the chat room. That signals the end of this section, so now all that’s left is to stand up, and meet this ‘Judy’.

*Okay, who is it?*

You stop the music, take out your earphones, and wait for the director's signal. When it arrives, you slowly, but confidently walk towards your partner's part of the studio. Once past the corner, you dramatically turn a 90 degree angle, and find yourself face to face with an angel. Or maybe it's a fairy? Or a nymph? Whatever she may be, it is not exactly human.

Her flawless fair skin is glistening in the studio's brilliant light, creating a picturesque contrast with her silky dark hair. It's neatly styled in a typical way: behind her ears, running down on her back one side, and on the other, resting on her front, bumping over her modest breasts. Your gaze moves further down, checking out her fuzzy two part dress, coloured in white and blue.

*Yep, blue is her favourite colour.*

The top stops just high enough over her pencil skirt, so that you can make out the tiniest bit of her midriff. You follow along her smooth legs, all the way to her feet, then quickly look back up. Her eyes meet yours, but not before catching a slightly mischievous smile form on her glossy lips.

*I guess she figured out who I was*

This all goes down in a mere second. It does have some benefits to have your brain running at FTL speed. After finishing the survey, you take a theatrical bow.

- Princess Nana.

She cracks up. Her laugh is just as magical as her whole being. You have heard it a handful times before, but never in person.

And boy, does it hit like a baseball bat live. You have had countless groups come to your variety show, but you can only gather up a single other idol with such a delightful laugh (Miss Song Yuqi).

*Man, I could listen to both of them for the rest of my life.*

You straighten back up, and take a step closer, at the same time as Nana. Your assumption of her height during the handshake was correct: she barely reaches up to your chin, but it plays to her advantage; makes her look even more adorable.

Her smile never faded, and now that she is right in front of you, you can see a glint of happiness and recognition in the vast, dark ocean of her eyes.

- It's you!

- It sure is.

- I knew it the moment I saw your baby picture.

- Ah yes, that was a dead giveaway.

- But I thought of you beforehand too.

- Oh, really?

- Yeah! I watched every episode of your show, and you did seem like we had a lot in common. Our conversation proves that.

- Yes, and thank you. - Feeling her boundless energy, and seeing her cute, perky personality, you can't help but smile along with her. - I can't believe this is the first time we meet in person.

- Right? I guess our schedules never aligned. But I'm really happy to meet you!

- As am I. - you cross your hands suddenly - But you lied to me!

- Huh? When?

- You said you've never met Nana.

She scratches the back of her head with an embarrassed chuckle. - Oh, right. Well I could argue that it's not a lie in a literal sense.

- Hmmm. I'll let it slide this time. But I have to warn you, I don't invite liars onto my show.

She gasps in a fake shock, and bows as she apologises. - I promise not to lie anymore! Please invite us to your show!

You laugh at her playfulness. - How could I say no to a princess? I'll make sure to have an episode set aside for you during your next comeback.

- Yay, thank you!

Her cuteness is almost overwhelming. The way she looks at you with those doe eyes, like you are her favourite person on this planet (which in reverse, might be true at this point). Her radiant smile, that emits such precious laughter, the sound of is more wondrous than Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata. Or the way she seems to cling onto your every word, as if you were Jesus preaching on the Mount of Beatitudes, and how she parrots your thoughts, just coated in that honeyed voice.

The director cuts into the meeting, and asks Nana to give them an interview about your chat. Yours will follow after. When you're both done, they tell you to take a selfie for the show. You oblige, but ask Nana to take it. The height difference doesn't even seem to be a problem. Rather she turns it into an advantage, and snaps a few nice pics. As the shooting comes to an end, you thank each other and the crew for everything, and before Nana could disappear into her room, you call out for her.

- Sorry, I don't intend to hold you up for long, I'm sure you have better things to do.

- Oh no, it's fine. What do you want?

- I just thought we could exchange numbers. Not for my show, that'll be done through our managers, but for our bet. Not sure how serious you were about it, but either way, I wouldn't mind taking you out for dinner. And I still need to take you to that spot on your birthday.

- Absolutely! And I'm completely serious about the bet. I don't just shake hands for nothing. My schedule is going to be hectic in March, but I'm sure I will be able to create some free time.

- Oh, if it's bothersome, we can go later too. Or earlier. Whatever works for you. I can get busy myself, but I always ask the groups to clear their schedules for the day before and after, so we all have some room if anything comes up.

- That's smart. Maybe I'll live with the opportunity.

- You totally should. 

She hands you her phone, and you dial yours. She saves your contact as 'The Little Prince', while you save her as 'Princess Nana'.

- I guess that's all. Again, it was really nice to finally meet you. Hope to see you soon.

- You too! Can't wait for my free chicken feet!

You chuckle, and bow to say goodbye, which she politely returns. Before she could get out of sight, you decide to look behind your back to catch one final peek of this angel. She walks with such grace, but you can still see that playful attitude hidden beneath. Maybe it's the way she sways her hips. Or that cute little butt.

*I wonder if it's more like a soft pillow, or firm and fit from all the workout.*

You slap yourself softly, and turn your head back around.

*Idiot…*

Unbeknownst to you, just after you do this, Nana also looks above her shoulders, searching for you. She barely catches the last moment of your little act, but she knows. She knows, but she is doing the same, so she can't really judge you for it.

Your heart still pounds noticeably faster than usual after you've changed back into your comfy clothes. The little cramp in your stomach is not letting its presence be forgotten either.

*Fuckin’ hell. What am I, fourteen? *

You take a deep breath, drink a cup of water, and focus. Within a few minutes, your body finally listens to the brain, and settles down. You sigh in relief.

- That's better. … - But I need a drink.

You take your stuff, and head outside. On the street, you catch Nana one last time. You wave and smile at each other as her manager helps her get in their car. Yours is already waiting for you on the passenger side, tapping away on his phone, since you almost always drive yourself. You shove your things in the trunk, then hop into the driver seat.

- Took you long enough. - your manager blurts out without looking up.

- Yeah, sorry. Upset stomach.

He acknowledges your excuse with a grunt.

- Back to your place?

- Yeah. But I wanna stop at a convenience store for some alcohol.

- Huh? Was it that bad? You seemed to be having fun. - He finally looks up at you, with the smallest hint of concern on his face.

- Yeah, I may have enjoyed it a little too much.

- Hmm. I see. So that upset stomach?

He doesn't even need to say it, you both know what he means.

- Yerp. Fucking butterflies.

Again, he just scoffs. Your manager is the best you could ask for. Professionally. But as much as he helps you in your work, he helps as little with personal stuff. You know it's better that way. You're not paying him to be your therapist, but you would like him to lend you an ear from time to time.

- Whatever. I'll get drunk tonight, and lose some ranks in League with the boys.

- Hmm. Just don't get too drunk.

You fasten your seatbelt, start up the car, and zoom through the city to your first destination. You grab a few (more than a few) bottles of different flavoured soju, and some instant ramen. The cashier is a young dude, probably a uni student working part-time. He realises who you are, so you chat for a bit. When he finally scans your items, you pay by cash, and leave him a hefty bonus, which he thanks profusely. You get back in the car, and drive to your manager's place to drop him off. From there, it’s only a few-minute drive to home.

_______________________________________________________

You struggle with the lock long enough that you hear your dog making a fuss inside.

- One second bud. I’m an alcoholic.

As soon as you open the door, he starts jumping up and down in excitement.

- Hello, you little rascal! - you greet him in a high pitched voice. - Have you been a good boy? - A rhetorical question to which the answer is (almost) always yes. You scratch behind his ears, and give him a treat, which he gobbles up in the blink of an eye.

- You will never guess who I've met today. - You start as you take off your shoes, and walk towards the kitchen to put the purchased beverages into the fridge. - It was my future wife! - you announce, posing with the exaggerated swagger of a black teen.

Bingley tilts his head in confusion.

- Yeah, I know. I’m cringe. But! I haven't felt like this since high school. And that was a whiiiile ago.

You step into the living room and settle on the sofa. Bingley waits for the signal of invitation before he joins you, and licks your hand to ask for pats which you happily provide.

- Honestly, I don't know how I should go about it. We hit it off well, and she seemed interested too. I mean she agreed to meet two more times. Plus once for my show, but that's different… For the first one, I will take her to our favourite place.

As you mention that, your companion perks up.

- Oh, sorry. I think you're going to have to stay behind. I want it to be just her and me.

Bingley’s head falls on your lap in defeat with a sad whine.

- Don't worry, I will take you there next week.

You take out your phone, and send tonight's plan to your friends. To pass the time, you decide to put on that new (well it was new like 3 months ago) Netflix show you haven't started yet for whatever reason. That, along with some takeout, is engaging enough to keep your mind off of today's events, all the way 'til the alarm rings in reminder for the games.

You gulp down a whole bottle of soju during your first game, and the next ones follow quickly after. The alcohol kicks in right as you're queueing up for the third game of the night. Senses dulled, reflexes slowed, vision blurry. Palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy. Your teammates have been keeping up the pace with various types of spirits, turning every game from here on out into a clown fiesta. Muscle memory at least keeps them somewhat competitive, but no one really cares about winning. It's all about forgetting about the everyday struggles. The shitty bosses, the annoying exes, an unlucky puncture on the way to work, your baby puking on your favourite shirt, burnt food, the seemingly never ending house chores– falling head over heels for a girl you've only talked to for half an hour, of which only a few minutes were in person. Whatever. Everyone has their reasons. Meditating can only do so much. And it's nowhere near as fun as this.

The hours fly by, and it's regrettably time already to end the therapy session. Not all your pals have such flexible schedules as you, so they have to call it before midnight. Barely being able to walk straight, you conclude brushing your teeth and pouring a glass of water for tomorrow morning is more than enough exercise before bed.

Waking up is obviously the biggest disadvantage of these endeavours, but you take a pill with the prepared water, then a cup of coffee, and the headache is soon gone. You don't have the stomach for a proper breakfast, but you still force down a slice of toast. You let Bingley out, and sit on the porch, soaking in the morning sun, listening to the sound of nature, and enjoying the smell of the blooming tulips and violets in your garden. - Spring is fucking awesome…

_______________________________________________________

The next few weeks go by without much happening. The blind chat episode drops on YouTube, and surprisingly, dozens upon dozens of people comment, shipping the two of you. It’s endearing, really; a nice reassurance that what you felt during and after the show, was not exclusively in your head, as others seem to have noticed the connection and matching vibes (hopefully not just the parasocial delulu fans, who name themselves after funny videos, and would go on to write fanfictions about it).

You exchange a few texts with Nana during these days, but she seems busier than expected. It could be because of an upcoming comeback, but they came back with Rollercoaster only a few months ago. So you try not to give it too much meaning, but in the back of your head, a devilish voice insists “she doesn’t like you bro”. Your worries are lifted when they announce ‘Queendom Puzzle’, and all its participants in the following days. Hey! I see you’ll be on Queendom Puzzle, congrats! I’m sure you will crush it! Hiya! Thanks I hope so I have been practicing a lot for this

Yeah, I figured The competition seems strong But I would bet on you making it into the group I’m a bit worried But your confidence in me means a lot😊 An ace like you should have nothing to fear! You’re right 😸 If the crowd sees the effort I have been putting into my craft They will have to vote for me …right?

Of course! You were meant to be on top

*of me, hehe*

Yeah! I’m gonna be a star! That’s the spirit A few seconds go by with Nana seemingly typing out an essay. I wanted to ask you for something

Your pulse quickens, and you sit up straight on your couch. With dilated eyes, and gently shaking fingers, you type back. I’m all ears

I hope it’s not too much of a bother But could you take me to that place you talked about?

Of course! That was always the plan, no?

Yeah but I mean like This weekend

You have to check your schedule to make sure you’re free, not that cancelling every plan and recording would be a tall order, or a big price to pay to spend time with her. Sure, I can make it Great! I just know I won’t have much time until Queendom ends And if I do end up on the team It will take even longer before I can take a break

There is no ‘if’! But I get your point Both days work for me, so you choose I checked the weather, and Saturday will be warmer So we could watch the sunset too if you wanna

*How the fuck would I not?* Sounds perfect

Nice How about we meet up at 4? You could show me around the place And we could have a picnic

Even more perfect I’ll be there Great And thank you 😊

My pleasure

The chat dies off, but it doesn’t bother you. The high of finally meeting Nana lingers for the rest of the night, giving you one of the best sleeps since you moved to Korea.

_______________________________________________________

As the planned outing approaches, you remember something from your first encounter: her birthday is in spring. Even after remembering it was in March, you still decide to get her something. Surfing the internet for half an hour, you find a few decent ideas, but none of them strike you as THE perfect gift.

*Maybe I should read about her, see what she likes.*

As you press search, the first few results are about another celebrity, who shares her stage name: Im Jinah.

You quickly add ‘wooah’ to the query to get the desired outcome. Reading through her wiki, an uneasy feeling slowly creeps up on you.

- Well, this is just weird. I feel like I'm stalking her.

Even though you have done this for every idol who has appeared on your show, it's just not the same. You're not gathering information to create the best possible games and scenarios for entertainment, but to wow her. With that thought, you close the tab, and start to think.

- Okay, let's just not. I can work with what I know already. She likes Nintendo games, the colour blue, animation, and spring. And dakbal! She most likely has a Switch already, and there is no way of knowing what games she has or wants without snooping around. I could take a gamble with the animation, and get her a plushie, a shirt, or something of Doraemon. He's blue too, so that's nice. But that is lacking in the ‘personal’ department. So spring, huh? What can I do with that?

You spend the whole day deciding on what to buy, and instead of one big present, you end up with a few smaller ones. You pick all of them up in the coming days, and get the groceries for the picnic on the day before.

The 'date' is set two days after the recording with Cravity, who made their comeback with Groovy last week. You feared that the upcoming meeting with Nana might get in your head, and ruin the show's quality, but it all worked out perfectly. You spend most of the following day going on a big hike with Bingley, and continuing the Netflix show you started. After that it’s time for bed, as tomorrow's going to be busy. The trek tired you out, yet sleep doesn’t come easily. You lay awake until it actually gets annoying, and opt for a sleeping pill. The drug does its magic, and you wander off to dreamland in no time.

_______________________________________________________

The alarm rings at 7 AM sharp, and you blindly search for the phone to shut it up.

- Mmmm… Just five more minutes…

But as soon as you pull the blanket over your head to block the rising sun, the reason for the alarm registers. Your eyes pop open, and the drowsiness is gone in an instant. After hurriedly finishing the usual morning routine, including your obligations to Bingley, it’s time to go through the checklist for today's tasks.

First on the agenda is preparing the food, 'cause if you mess it up, you will have time to try again. Thankfully, apart from a wasted egg, some spilled milk, and a fierce battle with the sizzling oil, everything goes fine. Second is wrapping the gifts. Usually a bag would do, but not today. Not for Nana. Or rather, Princess Nana. You waste a lot of time and wrapping paper figuring out what's the best way to go about it, but the end result is more than acceptable. Third is packing up - food in the basket, gifts hidden in a bag, and a blanket to sit on. Next up is lunch. You don't have neither the time nor the willingness to cook more right now, so some takeout will have to do. Then it’s time to take out the dog. For a walk, Jimmy... That's number five, check. The last thing to be done is texting Nana the rendezvous point, which you do while you eat the ordered pizza.

Although you'll only have to leave in an hour, you decide to dress up now in today's carefully picked outfit: a floral linen shirt, dark blue shorts, and a few accessories. Nothing too fancy. A few (hundred) TikToks help pass the remaining time, before you pack everything in the trunk of the KIA. After making sure for the third time that everything is in order, you lock the house and get in the car. The V6 engine of the K8 eagerly purrs to life, as if it felt and shared your anticipation for today’s events. You type the destination into the GPS - not that it was needed; you have been there countably infinite times already, and could drive there with a blindfold on. But as they say: better safe than sorry.

Some music and sunshine keeps you company during the fortunately eventless half hour drive. Once you arrive and park in the shade of a huge oak tree, a notification pops up from Nana: “I'll be there in a few!” Not even 5 minutes later, another KIA pulls into the parking lot. The passenger-side door swings open, and the angel you have been waiting for steps out with the same gorgeous smile on her face she last said goodbye with.

You take a few steps closer, and bow. - Hello! I hope it wasn't too hard to find the place.

- Oh, not at all. - She bows, and says hello too, then looks around to admire the greenery, and the sunshine seeping through the leaves, illuminating everything in sight. It arguably does a worse job than her smile, but the Sun does give you that vitamin D, whereas Nana only gives your D vitamin. And your soul with the cute outfit she is sporting: it’s a red, floral patterned sleeveless top tucked into a tight blue skirt with a very similar motif. As the colour scheme would suggest, it’s downright magnetic. You find yourself unable to look away from her, until a light breeze, paired with the rattling of leaves knocks you out of your daze. When you look up and lock eyes with Nana, you notice her cheeks have copied the colour of her shirt. *I may have stared for too long. *

- Almost didn’t notice you there with the camouflage. - you jest, trying to play it off.

Nana giggles, and spins around to give you a full view. In any other circumstance, your eyes would have probably shifted downwards, but her hair steals away your attention, dancing in the air graciously like she does on stage.

- Looks cute, doesn’t it? - I think we all know what he thinks about it. - her manager speaks up from behind. She hands Nana a bag, most likely filled with food for the picnic. Before turning away, she gives you a stern look. - Call me when you are done, Nana, and I’ll come back for you as discussed.

She drives off, leaving the two of you alone in a serene, only slightly awkward silence. You grab your stuff from the car, and lead Nana up the path, towards the field. On the short walk there, she keeps looking around in awe, amazed by the scenery. Gotta give it to her, it looks like it was taken from a painting. Birds singing from the blooming trees, butterflies chasing one-another above the lazily swaying, lush grass, and bees hauling their fat fluffy butts from flower to flower.

- It’s perfect! - she squeals with joy as she bends down to touch the silky grass.

- I knew you would like it.

- I love it!

You walk past Nana, who seems completely mesmerized by the clearing, and a pair of Barn Swallows, as they scurry across the sky, most likely hunting for food. She smiles at them, then catches up with you and helps with the picnic blanket, for which you have already found the perfect spot. It’s on a slightly more elevated piece of ground, from where you can see above the city, and across the green sea. While you unpack, Nana goes on about how glad she is to be out here in the sun, with you, how pretty the place is, and how excited she is for Queendom Puzzle.

- It’s an interesting changeup, isn’t it? - she asks with sparkling eyes.

- For sure! Definitely interesting for the fans, and even more so for the contestants.

- I know! I can’t wait to meet all of them. I haven’t even talked to some of them before.

- Well, you could call them now, because we might have overdone it with the food.

You share a laugh, then take a look at the feast you two whipped up. Even without plating the desserts, it’s still enough for at least one other pair of lovebirds. Your schnitzel sandwiches look ‘rustic’ at best next to Nana’s three different types of home-made kimbaps, but you wanted to bring something that you would bring at home too. 

- The one with the omelette strips has a pinch of honey in it. I thought it would be your style. - she explains with a never fading smile.

You take a slice, and push the whole thing into your mouth. Sure enough, she hit it right on the nail. The basic, but undefeated blend of omelette, avocado and tuna is freshened up by the pickled radish, and brought together by the subtle, yet lingering sweetness of the honey. You let out a satisfied hum, and swallow before praising her.

- You are right on the money with this one. It’s phenomenal!

She giggles triumphantly, and takes a roll too.

- Mmmmh, it’s so good! I never thought about adding honey to a kimbap before. But when I was getting the ingredients, I thought about you, and the bees, and I knew I had to do it.

- It’s for sure the best kimbap I have eaten so far. Good job! - you raise your hand for a high-five, which she happily accepts.

- Thanks! Now, let’s see what you cooked up.

- Well, I know it doesn’t look as fancy as yours, but I promise it tastes great. - you hand her a sandwich, and take one for yourself too. - It’s kind of a timeless classic in my country. Whenever we go to a beach, on a road trip, or a hike, it’s the go-to snack. It’s just fried chicken breast, some veggies, and your choice of sauce in a bun, but that’s the point. It’s simple, but effective. You can never go wrong with these ingredients, and it never disappoints.

She takes a bite, after you downplayed and hyped up the sandwich at the same time. She munches on it for a few seconds, nodding understandingly.

- I see what you mean. It’s just really nice. I could see how it would be sort of a comfort food.

- Right? - you light up from her words of appreciation, and take a bite of home. - I don’t think I could ever get tired of this.

An endearing smile paints Nana’s face, which you don’t even notice at first, too caught up in the nostalgic dish.

Being the first proper one-on-one talk between you two, the conversation starts off with the usual topics: work, hobbies, friends, family, pets, etc. Still, with how engaged and honestly curious she is, it doesn’t feel like the typical, going-through-the-motions, getting-the-mandatory-stuff-out-of-the-way kind of chat. And unsurprisingly, her enthusiasm rubs off on you. You find yourself nodding or laughing along with all her stories, aww-ing at pictures from her childhood or of her family dog, and taking mental notes of every little titbit she shares about her life. It’s all so easy, so natural. Sure, you are still cracking some jokes, but it’s not the same as if you were in front of the cameras. There is no preparation, no script, just chemistry. When you reach into your basket for a second bottle of soda, you grab onto something else by accident. It’s one of Nana’s presents. You have completely forgotten about it, too engaged in the chatter. You take the two small boxes out, and hide them behind your back while your partner is pouring herself a drink.

- Nana?

- Hmm? - she doesn’t look up just yet, preoccupied with choosing the next kimbap to devour.

- I know your birthday was like- two months ago.

- Yeah? - now she lifts her gaze, and notices the jewellery box in your hand, coated in deep blue velvet. - Oh, Y/N! - her voice is laced with surprise and appreciation, which also reflects on her face. - You really didn’t have to.

- Of course I did!

- Now I feel bad, because I didn’t bring you anything. - she pouts, but her frown is immediately turned upside down when she flips the top open. - Wait, is this..?

She holds onto the medallion with one hand, letting the golden chain dangle freely in the warm wind.

- Yeah. A Triforce necklace.

- It’s so pretty! Quick, help me put this on.

Nana turns around and sits closer to you, so you can secure the clasp on the back of her neck. She stays like that, admiring the metallic trinket, until she leans back against you. Your mind freezes for a second, but your body reacts to her, and your arms wrap around her waist.

- Thank you…

Her words jump-start your mind, and you squeeze her tighter.

- Don’t thank me just yet. - you untangle one arm, and reach backwards for another smaller container, neatly wrapped in pink paper. She handles it with care after feeling the weight of it.

- Another one?

She rips off the wrapping, and gasps when she recognises the baby pink coloured box.

- You know, I almost bought this when I last went shopping.

She removes the plastic, then takes out the rose-scented perfume to try it out. She sighs in satisfaction when the smell envelopes the air around you, dulling out the flowers nearby.

- Mmmm~ This bottle won’t last long, I can tell you that much!

Your chuckle is cut short by her lips on your cheeks, a smile, and her nuzzling into your embrace again.

- Thank you Y/N~

- You are very much welcome Nana.

She stays in your arms, letting the minutes pass by, until the dryness in your throat becomes annoying, and you have to let go of her for a drink. She gives you a playful pout before standing up to stretch, as you have been sitting on the ground for quite some time now. That’s when a familiar, raspy voice calls out to you from close by.

- Y/N? I thought you would come here today. And with a girl, to boot! You turn around with a curious look, and stand up to greet the elderly woman and her husband.

- Of course I’m here! Would have been a crime to stay inside in this weather.

- Ain’t that the truth. - the man concurs with a subtle nod, then turns to Nana. - And who is this pretty lass you brought along? Won’t you introduce your girlfriend to us? - Oh, we’re not… - you try to deny in such a hurry, that even catches Nana off guard. You look at her in hopes of reassuring her, and her beaming smile greets you, though you notice there is something sombre about it compared to usual. - We are just… colleagues, kind of. It’s only the second time we’ve met.

The pair looks at each other with a suspicious, knowing look. You can almost hear a whole conversation play out between their gazes. It’s just one of those things that come with years, or in their case, decades of love and partnership.

- I see. - the woman says without much conviction once she looks back at you. - So it’s not a date? We heard you two laughing from a mile away. Her question throws you for a loop, and while you try to figure out how to word it so you don’t possibly hurt Nana more, she answers before you could come up with the proper phrasing.

- No, it is a date. - she states with unshaken confidence, which pleases the couple. - I’m Nana by the way.

They bow with a sincere smile, and introduce themselves as Mr and Mrs Kim.

- I see you weren’t dropped on your head, missy! - the man titters.

You want to look back at Nana, but she is already by your side, hooking her arm into yours and pressing herself closer. At first, it feels a bit strange to call it that, but it only makes sense when you give it another thought. It’s just a word that you have given too much meaning over the lonely years, and it messes with your head.

- I’m sure he wasn’t either. - she jokes, and bumps your side.

- You will soon learn of that, sweetheart. - the lady pipes up. - He is as sweet as honey, but denser than concrete at times.

They all laugh at that, and you join in after letting go of your now seemingly dumb worries.

- All right, young'uns. We will leave you to it. Gotta get back home before my back gives in.

- Just a second, Mr Kim. - you speak up, and excuse yourself from Nana. You take a few pieces of the layered cake, and stack them in a box. - Please take this. I baked it, but it’s not poisonous. I think.

The couple smiles warmly at you, and takes the box.

- See? Sweet as honey. - The madam echoes her own words with a sly wink aimed at your date.

After that, Nana gifts them some kimbap too, which they thank profusely, then go on their way.

- Oh my god, they were so nice! - Nana asserts as she sits back down.

- They are, yes. I meet them every time I’m here. They visit this place almost every day in the warmer seasons.

…

- So it’s a date, huh? 

- Of course. What else would you call an afternoon like this? A one-on-one picnic in one of the most magical places in this city, with someone you like and want to get to know better. Wouldn’t be fair to label it as ‘hanging out’, or something simple like that.

- True…

This time it’s you, who smiles first, but you are not alone for long. Your hand reaches out for hers as you scoot closer on the soft blanket, and she readily accepts the contact, placing her palm on top of yours. It’s not the ‘electric touch that sends a jolt of shiver down your spine’, it’s just what it is: a touch. Warm and slick, but at the end of the day, nothing out of the ordinary. It’s the circumstances, and the owner of the other hand, that’s really special about it. The half-spoken admission of your feelings, a silent promise of more to come, and the most wonderful girl on this planet you share these with. The silence remains even while you eat the muffins, bar Nana’s compliment for the chocolatey sweetness, and the birds singing in the background. You imagine they are watching this romantic scene unfold in front of them, witnessing love blossom on the field they call home. The little angel stays in your arms, although she feels more like a kitty right now as her warm and petite body lays against you soothingly. You can feel her breathing as her chest rises and falls in a slow rhythm, and you realize your pulse is matching hers when you hold her hand tighter.

It’s probably a super corny display from the outside, when the Sun starts to near its resting place, painting the skies in the colour of the flowers in the surrounding field. And if not for a certain girl in your arms, it would have been the prettiest sight of the day. The other thing that the sunset loses in, is the warmth. The temperature drops surprisingly quickly on this cloudless night, and no matter how hot the woman is beside you (in all senses of the word), the chilling winds become a bit too harsh to ignore. So you pack up, dividing the leftovers equally while Nana speaks with her manager on the phone. Hand-in-hand, you walk back the path towards the parking place with Nana lighting the way with her phone. Her manager said she will arrive in 10 minutes, so you sit in the K8 to stay warm until that. Nana sits in the passenger seat, and sees something in the backseat that catches her eye.

- Aww! What a cute flower.

- Oh, right! - you reach back for the pot. - It’s your last gift.

- Another one? For real? - she takes it from you, and admires the flowerless green plant.

- Of course! It’s a Clitoria Ternatea, aka Butterfly Pea. It will bloom with gorgeous little blue flowers in the summer, and as the name suggests, you can even make tea out of it.

She looks at you with a playful squint and a smirk, the somewhat lewd Latin name of the flower not escaping her attention. You laugh it off, and she leans in for a hug to thank you. It lingers for long seconds, until she gets a text from her manager, stating she is almost there. You both sigh. It’s a mixture of sadness and contentment. It was probably the best afternoon either of you have spent in a long time, and now that it’s come to an end…

That’s not even the worst part. It’s the fact that there is no way of knowing when there will be a chance to do this again. But if all goes well for Nana in Queendom Puzzle, it’s most likely months. She places her hand on top of yours, and looks you in the eye.

- Thank you for this day, Y/N. You can’t even fathom how much it all meant to me. And I don’t just mean the gifts, and the picnic. I’m talking about spending time with you, laughing, talking, hugging… And I really want to do it more. To get to know you better, and see where this goes.

- I would love that. - you clutch onto her hand, and give it a small squeeze -  Because I think–  I think this connection is something very special.

- I think so too.

Her grip on your hand tightens, and she moves her body closer. It’s barely noticeable, but you see it. You see it, because you are doing the same. You see her lips parting, her eyes nervously glancing at yours, and it makes your heart pound out of your chest. And though Nana may seem timid from the outside, she pushes forward with zero hesitation. Unrelenting, unwavering. She wants this badly, and so do you. So even when her manager pulls up, you don’t pull away. The headlights of her car shine right at you when your lips meet. And oh, what delicious, soft lips they are. It makes you forget to breathe, and doubles your heart rate, like a dose of a new designer drug that gets you addicted the moment you use it.

Neither of you break the kiss, and when you shift in your seat so your spine doesn’t twist out of its place and move away from her slightly, she chases after you. She even reaches for your shirt with her free hand, so you don’t pull away again until she has had her fill. It doesn’t take too long, because the uninvited audience does start to make Nana somewhat self conscious now. When your lips separate, you let out the air you have been holding in for these past twenty-something seconds. It’s hard to tell whether it’s this, or the power of the kiss that leaves you lightheaded, but one thing is for sure: you have fallen deeper than you thought, and so has Nana. She chuckles when she notices your reddened ears, breaking the tension.

- That was… - you start, but find it hard to say the right words. - Surreal but, um… but nice.

- Yeah. It was.

She gives one last gorgeous smile, and a sorrowed but reassuring goodbye before she leaves you on your own. The kiss replays in your mind repeatedly, and it makes you ache for more: more kisses, but also more than just kisses.

- “Surreal but nice”? What was I thinking?

_______________________________________________________ The following few weeks after the start of Queendom Puzzle are just as sweet as that goodbye kiss. The late night chats with Nana, her random selfies from practice, during meals, or after recording, and occasional video calls. Naturally, you text her after every episode, praising her performance. She responds in kind, applauding your MC skills, and rambling about her experiences with the other participants. The relationship stays this vibrant and strong for a while, and the energy you get from it shows in your variety show, propelling its popularity into new heights. Which, sadly, means more interviews, ads, and what have you. All of that, paired with Nana having to practice more for the final few episodes, meant a little less time spent talking every day. It never dried out at least, but you wished you could actually see each other in person at times, and hoped she felt the same.

Then it finally arrives. It’s the 15th of August, and the airing of the final episode of “Queendom Puzzle”. Nana (obviously) made it into the last 14 with flying colours, raking up MVPs, and a solid spot in the rankings. Still, there was a chance, however slim, that she could falter at the last hurdle. You knew she wasn’t the type to fall into a false sense of safety, but it still felt appropriate to give her the extra motivation she might have needed. So you asked her manager in secret for the place and time of the shooting. Without much reluctance, she hooked you up, but advised caution.

Getting past the security was a bit tricky, but still possible. With an iced americano in one hand, and a box of spicy chicken feet in the other, you make your way through the maze of corridors, full of purpose. Room 8 was your goal, and, as Murphy's law dictates, it was at the very back of the corridor. It doesn’t matter. The only thing that actually does, is to meet Nana, and put a smile on her face. That ever radiant, healing smile. One can never get enough of it. To make sure that the surprise works, you arrive a solid 20 minutes before she does, so it’s time to catch up with the latest gossip. Nana’s manager - now also your wingwoman - texts you as they get past security. Your heart skips a beat, and you jump from the chair you have been sitting on ‘til now. After quickly hiding her presents, you fix your attire, and wait patiently. At least that’s what you hope it looks like, but even a blind man could tell how eager you are. Your quickening pulse, fidgeting fingers, and deep, long breaths are a dead giveaway of your true feelings.

You can hear as Nana nears the room, her voice echoing down the hallway as she practices her lines for the show. The door handle pivots, and the awaited angel finally steps into the room. She stops dead in her tracks the moment she sees you. Her eyes widen, and her jaw hangs agape for a moment, but then… The change in her expression is like a slow motion study for AI training: her slightly open mouth shifts into a wide smile, showing off her pearly whites. Her eyes sparkle with an adoring glint, as if she just saw the cutest thing in the world. And, as usual of her when she gets this excited, she pushes her tongue out slightly, and bites down on it gently.

- Hello, princess. - you greet her with a bow. Nana loses it right then, and rushes up to you with a loud squeal. You plant a little kiss on her cheek, and hug her close. Or at least try to, but she starts to jump up and down giddily, making it hard to properly hold onto her. Before she pulls away, she returns the kiss. Holding hands, you stand there, mere inches separating you, just staring at each other for a few seconds. Your adoration reflects in her brown eyes, glistening like morning dew on the petals of a Chocolate Cosmos. The laughs and shouting of some other contestants from down the hallway kick you both out of your trance.

- Oh, right! - you spin around, and grab the iced americano. - I got you this.

Her eyes light up instantly.

- Oh my god! You are a lifesaver!

She pounces on you like a panther, and snatches the cold beverage before you could say ‘meow’. You watch with an adoring, cheeky smile as she swallows gulp after gulp, a bit of coffee even missing its mark, dripping down on her chin in the big hurry.

- Whew… I needed that. Would you believe that my manager - she points theatrically at the woman - forgot to buy me coffee? Today of all days?! - Uh… That’s on me. - you admit, scratching your head with unease. - I kind of asked her to… Nana crosses her arm, and squints at you suspiciously. She walks up to you with playfully angry stomps, which end up making her look adorable, rather than threatening, like a kid who didn’t get the toy they wanted.

- You don’t mess with a girl’s coffee! - she lashes out, reinforcing her point by tapping your chest with her index finger. Her faux outrage melts away after she sees how taken aback you are. She smiles at you sweetly then, and kisses your embarrassedly flushed cheek. - No need to plan stuff like this so you can swoop in like a saviour. - she stops mid-thought to take another sip. - I already like you, dummy.

You hear a scoff from her manager, and catch her rolling her eyes. You just smirk to yourself, knowing how cheesy it must seem from her POV.

- Sorry Nana! - you turn your back to her, snap up the bag with the dakbal, and offer it to her. A due prise for her winning the bet from the video, but it's also for motivation. - I hope this makes up for it somewhat.

With one eyebrow raised, she nabs the chicken feet tentatively. Or rather the box of chicken feet. Or rather the box of chicken feet inside a box. Or rather the box of chicken feet inside a box of chicken feet. Or rather the box of chicken feet inside a box of chicken feet inside a bag. Regardless, her face lights up for the third time today the moment she takes a whiff of her favourite delicacy. And that’s the point of it all. Not just seeing that contagious smile, but also the knowledge that you made her day just a little better. The way she dashes to you again, screeching joyfully as if she just won the lottery, and hugs you so tight that she squeezes the air out of your lungs, tells you that it may have made it more than just a little better.

- You are already forgiven!

She breaks away in a hurry, scattering to the chair to indulge in her precious dakbal. She hums in satisfaction as the flavours fill her mouth, which elicits an even wider grin from you. From the corner of your eyes you catch as Nana’s manager nods approvingly. Still, she has to be the responsible one when you are together: - Just don’t eat too much. You still have to perform.

- Mhm! - Nana acknowledges half-heartedly, gorging down on one chicken foot after the other. Her manager shakes her head disapprovingly, but can’t hold back a low chuckle.

- Whew… That should give me enough energy for a while. - she wipes her hand and mouth, and thanks you again with a kiss on your cheek. - Gotta go now though. Need to change and get my makeup done. Will you watch from here? - she asks with a hopeful tone.

- Of course! Will be cheering for you from here all the way ‘til the end. And I will keep your manager company too. Whether she likes it or not. - you add with a wink aimed at said lady.

- Could be worse, I guess… - she shoots back with a barely visible smirk.

Nana gives her manager a hug too, and they exchange a few words in secret. 

- Good luck, princess. Not that you need it.

The idol hugs you one last time, grabs her coffee, and waves the two of you goodbye before sauntering out the room.

- She is gonna kill it. - you break the few seconds of silence - You can just tell.

- Yeah. Especially with you here now. - the manager concurs, and nudges you in the side.

You watch the show with her, laughing, cheering, or crying along. After every performance is concluded, they invite the girls back on stage; it’s time to reveal the winners. Taeyeon calls them out from third place to sixth, and Nana is not amongst them. Of course, she was second during the previous vote, so it doesn’t phase you. Too much. Then the anxiety starts to eat at you when Hwiseo takes first place. Still, not too surprising, considering she finished there during the last episode as well.

Then finally, she is announced as the sixth member to join EL7Z UP, placing second overall in the votes. By that time you chew down every single nail on your fingers despite being sure she would make it. The other idols still on stage gather around her, cheering her on while also calming her down. When she takes the mic, it seems like she isn’t even crying anymore, but as soon as she tries to speak, her voice cracks in the cutest way possible, and it’s followed by an even cuter whimper. She gives her speech with a trembling voice, thanking everyone she can think of, and finally joins the other 5 girls on the pedestal. Her rightful place. You sob during it all, chuckling shakily during her most adorable moments. Even Nana’s cool calm and collected manager wipes a tear from her eyes. - Never once doubted her. - you break the melancholically cheerful silence - But damn it feels good to see her win.

- No kidding…

After Yeeun is revealed as the final winner, and EL7Z UP’s line-up is complete, they celebrate on stage for a while. You chat with the manager about the ups and downs of the show, weighing in about the winners, the performances, and how amazing Taeyeon is. After a good half an hour, Nana finally returns, jumping into your arms. She lets out her remaining tension, soaking your shirt with her tears. You caress her back lovingly, whispering sweet little nothings to soothe her. The clock ticks by relentlessly, and Nana has to go again. She lets go of you with a long sigh, and wipes her face with a handkerchief her manager hands her. - I wish I could stay for longer. But I have to change, fix my makeup, talk to the girls– - It’s fine, princess. - you cut in - I will see you later, yeah? - Yes! How about this Friday? - she perks up - I know it’s soon, but I won’t have much free time before our debut. And I want to show you my favourite place before it starts to get cold. - Sure. I will make time for you. Whatever it takes. - you agree without hesitation. - Great! - she plants a quick kiss on your cheek, and skips out of the room.

You breathe out slowly. It’s finally over. Well, kind of. The stress of the survival show may be gone, but now comes the debut. The stakes might not be as high, but Nana will surely give her best, meaning you really won’t see her for the next few months. Again.

Why did I have to fall for an idol? - you ask yourself, but realise it’s no use to dwell on it. Such a fantastic girl is more than worth waiting for. It’s not like you are not busy yourself, and she won’t be active all year long. Still, it feels like the whole industry is against you, hell-bent on preventing this relationship. And it’s not completely false. Her agency would most likely not allow for it: Nana was already their best asset, and now she became even more valuable. Who cares? As long as her manager is chill with it - which she most definitely is now - and you two are careful, it should be fine. Should be. Has to be.

_______________________________________________________

Her sanctuary, as she calls it, is a smaller penthouse on the outskirts of Seoul. It’s a simple, cosy flat that feels perfect to come home to after a long day of work. It has everything you need, nothing less, nothing more. one bedroom with  a queen size bed, a decently equipped kitchen, a bathroom with a freestanding tub, and a cutesy living room. It’s just far away from the centre, so that the noises of the city can be faintly heard from inside, and just barely more from the balcony. And what a balcony it is. It’s the part that really screams ‘Nana’. Full of flowers and greenery, two blue lounge chairs with a glass table between them, and on it, a sight that melts your heart: the butterfly peas you bought her for her birthday. - Did you try making tea out of it? - you ask as you trace your fingers along the vibrant blue petals.

- No, not yet. I have barely been here since Queendom Puzzle started. I did have someone to water the plants though! They even cared for the plastic ones. - she adds with a melodic giggle.

- Wanna try now?

- Sure! Although… I would hate to pluck it when it’s still so beautiful…

Nana admires the plant with a sombre look before you speak up.

- Well, they are about to lose the flowers soon anyways. The days are getting colder and shorter.

She lets out a long sigh before agreeing to it. She takes a handful of pictures before you pluck the flower heads ever so carefully and rinse them. While you boil the water, the 1 girl grabs 2 cups and a jar of honey to prepare them. You wait 5-10 minutes until the hot water brings out the flavours and colours of the petals, then you indulge yourselves in the heart-warming delicacy.

- Mmmmh~ That’s nice. - Nana remarks as she slowly sips on the blue tea.

- Tastes like spring, doesn’t it?

Nana quickly nods in agreement.

- Now watch this. - you grab a wedge of lemon, and squeeze some of its juices into your cup. The liquid changes its deep blue hue to a glamorous purple within seconds as the acidic drops dissolve.

- Wow… That’s gorgeous! But I like mine blue.

- I’m not surprised.

Compared to the first date, this feels even less tense. No preparations, no stakes, no nerves. Nana and you are already more than close friends, so there is no need to win her over. Now it’s really all about enjoying each other’s company and talking about anything and everything. She tells all about her pre-debut activities, her school years, and the shenanigans she got up to as a child. You in turn recount anecdotes from the same times of your life, sprinkled in with the first few months after coming to Korea, and starting your own variety show as a foreigner. The tea is followed by a few bottles of soju, along with some takeout. “Some”. It’s kind of a feast (again), but it all disappears eventually as the conversation goes on and on, delving more into your past adventures, your present passions, and your hopes and dreams for the future. The alcohol does its work in the meanwhile, smoothing out the already relaxed nerves even more, and colouring Nana’s porcelain skin in that Asian flush, giving her an ethereal look as the Sun starts to dip below the horizon. Your hand finds hers, and the two of you sit in a tranquil silence, watching the sky and clouds dance in the colours of the setting star.

- You know… - Nana cuts into the quiet, giving you a warm, pensive look. - One can love the sunset, when one is happy, too.

It takes you a few seconds before it clicks, then your face lights up with a tender smile.

- You remembered?

- Of course! I haven’t found time yet to read it, but I will.

- Because of that one line? - No. Because it’s important to you. Such a simple statement, yet so powerful. If anyone ever wondered how someone can confess their feelings without saying it outright, they would have found it right here. Just as the last rays of sunlight dim, you bring her hand to your lips, and plant a compassionate kiss on the back of her palm. After that, looking into her eyes, you both understand the depth and strength of this connection within a moment’s notice.

- And you are so much more important, princess.

The equally corny and touching response earns you Nana’s signature smile, though it seems different from the usual: more sincere and less practiced. Something that merely a couple people have seen if you had to guess. And as many times before, your heart turns into mush, a sweet concoction of affection and adoration, with a pinch of lust.

While the night claims its domain, coating the skies above in pitch black, you clean up the remains of the feast, and grab two blankets. You stay out stargazing for a long while, searching for constellations, and admiring the waning Moon before you move back inside the apartment. Just as Nana is about to dive into her next story, a long yawn interrupts her. It’s not that late yet, but the day was long. For her the whole summer was long.

- I guess it’s time I head home. You should rest while you can. - No! - she objects instantly, then sinks into the couch with a sheepish smile. - Would you stay for the night? Please? You chuckle faintly, and sit down right next to her.

- If that’s what the princess wants…

She leans her head on your shoulder with a tired giggle. Your hand reaches around her, rubbing her side ever so slowly. The little incubus at the back of your head is screaming to lunge at her, but you kill the voice, knowing it’s not the time. Not yet. Maybe you won’t see her until her promotions end, but if you cross this bridge now, it might be even harder on the both of you, having to go without intimacy for months after a most likely wonderful night together. So you bide your time. It will be worth it in the end, even if holding back at the moment feels awful.

While Nana takes a shower and washes her face, you drive home for your pyjamas and a toothbrush. Once you are back, she is already lying on the bed, mindlessly scrolling on her phone. She flashes you a weak smile, though you barely catch it, as the view of her bare legs distract you. You grit your teeth, and head to the bathroom to change and wash up, cursing your luck. It should have been obvious that she would be wearing shorts to bed in the summer, but your mind was elsewhere when you agreed to sleep over.

You step back into the room, and join Nana under the covers. You decide it’s best not to poke the bear in your boxers, and stay on your side of the bed, but Nana has other plans. “She needs cuddles” - she says. “It helps her sleep better, and she missed it so bad.” - she explains. You can’t say no to her pouting lips and puppy eyes, but what comes after is the true challenge. She nestles into you, not leaving any space between your bodies, not even in the most intimate places. Her round and firm backside assumes its position against your pelvis, pressing into you as if she didn’t know it was one of the most seductive things a girl could do in this situation. You have to call upon every god in the sky, on Olympus, in Asgard, on Mount Meru, and in Takamagahara, to help you out in this seemingly unwinnable battle. Their combined might is indeed enough to suppress your desires, and you relax with her, hugging her close like a plushie. - Good night princess. - your voice is groggy as you place a kiss on the back of her head. - Good night Little Prince. - she is already fading away into sleep, but she holds onto your hand, intertwining her fingers with yours before she drifts off. You follow suit, her soft whimpers lulling you to rest in no time.

_______________________________________________________

One of the drawbacks of living on the top floor, is that the Sun disturbs the idyllic early mornings, totally unasked for. With eyes wide shut, you turn away from the celestial intruder, meeting face to back with an angel. Instead of wings, her chestnut locks spread out on the mattress before you. It obviously wouldn’t be courteous to wake her, but it’s also a crime not to cosy up to a sleeping beauty in a moment like this. So you scoot closer, and ever so cautiously wrap an arm around her petite body. If it wasn’t for the deities who helped you yesterday, you would be in an awkward situation again, but your little buddy decided not to give Nana a rude awakening.

- Hmmm~ I could get used to waking like this. - she mumbles as she finally wakes, and wiggles deeper into your embrace, snuggling up to your warmth like a cat.

- And I could get used to sleeping like this.

She lets out an amused sigh, and starts to run her fingers along your forearm, carefully scraping it with her nails.

- Too bad we can’t stay here all day, huh?

- Yeah… too bad. Maybe if you weren’t such a great performer, you wouldn’t have made it into EL7Z UP, and you wouldn’t have to go to practice and meetings today. - you tease her.

- Maybe… But sorry, I am not throwing that away for you.

- I would rather have you throw me out if I actually asked something so ridiculous of you.

- Good. Now shut up and kiss me! - she demands out of nowhere, and flips around in a flash.

You don’t even have time to protest - as if you wanted to - before her lips press hungrily against yours. Your stale morning breaths take nothing away from the enjoyment and the beauty of the act. The chirps of birds and the early commotion of the waking city fade into the distance, replaced by Nana’s barely audible moans, your heavy breaths, and the smacks of your lips. The make-out is just as sweet as it is urgent, but you refrain from using your tongues for the sake of keeping it PG - you know you wouldn’t be able to hold back if she let you venture further. She is not so restrained though: her fingers run through your hair as she pulls you in deeper, and her soft little breasts squish against your chest, drawing blood to your nether region. But before things could get out of control, your rumbling stomach comes to the rescue. “If only it didn’t need to.” - you curse silently in your head. With flushed cheeks and short, shallow breaths, Nana pulls away.

- Breakfast?

- Breakfast… Do you have eggs and bacon?

- I should, yeah. Want me to make some?

- No thanks. I can do it. Do you want some too?

- Uhmm… Sure! I would like a proper breakfast while I can. But I wanna help!

- You’re the boss, boss.

She steals one last cheeky kiss before jumping out of bed, and chassés out of the room. You follow her (butt) with your eyes, then join her in the kitchen.

- Can you grab the things please? - Nana asks as she turns on the stove, and pours the oil into a large pan.

- Sure thing.

Despite you telling her beforehand that you would do the cooking for both of you, she doesn’t give you a chance. Wanting to be a good host, or so she says. You are not one to complain about a lack of work in the morning, so you at least have to pay her back somehow, right? And what better way than a playful bump of your hips against hers, an affectionate hug from behind, or a few delicate kisses on her neck and shoulders. Nana doesn’t reject her payment, and you can feel her skin heat up under your touch. It could be from the fire of the stove, but her crimson ears let you know it’s your doing. When she is almost done, you set the table, and pour out two glasses of orange juice.

You eat in mostly quiet, watching the Sun climb higher on the cloudless sky, only occasionally speaking up. Exactly like on the first date though, it’s not an awkward silences, it’s just… comfortable. You will have many more times in the not so near future to discuss any hot topic, or whatever’s on your minds, but this serene morning needs none of that. It only needs the two of you, stolen glances, exchanged smiles, and some cold oj to flush down the tasty food.

She offers you coffee after you’re done; an offer you can’t refuse, but state one condition in return: “I’m doing the dishes then.” She brings the soul warming beverage to the sofa, where the two of you cuddle up, watching some dumb morning show for entertainment. Your hand roams along her body dutifully through it all, earning you hums of delight. Sadly, the good times come to an end sooner than expected when Nana gets a call from her manager, informing her about a crucial, and certainly critical conference in the coming hour.

- I’ll let you get ready, then. - you tell her, slightly dejected, but not at all surprised.

- Yeah, thanks… You first do the dishes as promised, then head to the bathroom to dress up while she does the same in her bedroom. After a long kiss, you say your goodbyes.

- I’ll see you… whenever, I guess. - you say with a bitter smile.

- I’ll try to make time for you, but I can’t promise anything. - her eyes cast down on the floor, trying not to face the inevitable.

You grab her chin, and bring her eyes up to meet yours briefly, before you give her one more peck on her lips. For the first time you have known her, they were slanting down, but you pour every bit of reassurance into the kiss, and though she doesn’t exactly smile after you pull away, she at least looks less gloomy.

- You just focus on this group first, okay? Don’t push yourself too hard, because I will wait for you, however long it takes.

She darts at you with a tight hug, not letting go of you until she has committed your scent and feel to memory.

- Thank you. I will do my best for you.

- I don’t doubt that for a second. But do it for yourself.

_______________________________________________________

You knew what you signed up for, but that still doesn’t console you. Working, and meeting up with your friends can’t replace Nana’s absence in your life. She puts most of her energy into preparing for her debut, understandably so, and the two of you barely even chat during her promotions. Meetings are almost completely out of the question, bar a few coffees, and a short walk with your dog here and there. The only positive thing about all of this is watching Nana shine on stage more than ever. Even during the rendezvous, she goes on about how much fun it is with the new members, how talented and kind they are, and how much she loves the songs, dances, and concepts. She can’t hide her fatigue though, tainting the sweet times with a somewhat bitter undertone. They even travelled to Japan two times, once to France, and once to Saudi Arabia, and no matter how much you wanted to follow her, there was no way it was ever feasible or logical.

And of course, once the promotions for their first EP 7+UP ends, they almost immediately announce their next comeback in early 2024, threatening even more packed schedules for her, and even less dates for you. Fortunately or not, that somehow fizzles out, but of course, Nana’s agency jumps on the opportunity, riding her newfound fame, striking while the iron is hot: they announce WOOAH’s single releasing in April. Between all this chaos and dickering, only one thing is for certain: you have to meet. You have both waited enough, sacrificed enough, now it’s time to reap in your rewards.

While her bosses deal with legal stuff between WOOAH an EL7Z UP, and set up for the release of BLUSH, you have a few weeks of freedom, and you use it to the fullest. You drink and dine out, go to karaoke and bowling with friends, and during all this, your love for Nana only grows. Finally being with her again, fully, and this frequently, reminds you why you fell for her in the first place: her carefree but never careless attitude, her kind words, her playful teasing, her precious smile and even more precious laughter, her perfect body in your arms, and those soft lips that taunt you to kiss her every time your gaze lands on them, even if there are people watching.

And naturally, it doesn’t take long to give in to the desires you both have held back for God knows how long. After the first few dates, it’s time you cross this bridge. It wasn’t exactly what you had in mind when you met up in the afternoon in early February for a BBQ with her friends, but it was always in the cards. Valentine’s day was just around the corner, and you could have waited to make it the most special day of all, but something about today just felt right. Maybe it was how she fed you while you cooked for the group, how she kept looking at you with those curious, adoring eyes, how she snuggled close whenever she could, how she leaned her head on your shoulder, how she clung onto your hand during your walk home, or most likely all of the above.

In any case, it led you here, to this exact moment. You are lying on your bed, and for the first time in many months, it’s not your dog you share it with. Nana is on top of you, her tongue pushing against your lips as you make out, impatiently searching for a way in, which you hastily surrender to her. You have never seen her this zealous, this hungry for you. “I guess she has had enough too.” Sensing her intentions, your hands creep down from her back, and land on her perky ass. It’s time you shed the pretences, and go for what she is offering. What’s yours for the night, and most likely for the foreseeable future, but hopefully forever. You fondle the supple flesh and spread her cheeks apart as much as her jeans allow. She rewards you with moans you can only describe as lewd. Especially for such a gracious girl as her.

Her hands are holding either side of your neck, pulling you impossibly close, deepening the kiss, like she feared you would get away if she let go of you for a second. Her fingers then snake down on your chest, her fingertips tracing teasing circles around your nipple before feeling up your pecs and abs. She moans into the kiss again, but it’s this time more out of appreciation for your fit physique than from the heat that’s building inside her. In the meantime, you reach under her top to rub along the smooth skin of her lower back. The feeling presumably ignites something within her, because she starts to grind against your growing bulge, eliciting a hushed groan from you this time.

It’s a risky limbo of long suppressed lust and never-ending affection. One side of you simply wants to pin her down, and fuck her brains out until she is addicted to you, to your cock, but the more sentimental side yearns for her gentle touches, her sweet kisses, and her soft whimpers of satisfaction, were you to slowly make love to this princess on top of you. The way she quickly reaches for your groin, but stops at the edge of your pants in hesitation, lets you know she is battling with the same demons. And being the sensible man you are, you won’t force her into something she is not hundred percent comfortable with. Nevertheless, you lift your hips, seeking her touch, while also giving her the green light she might have needed.

She doesn’t bite just yet though - except for your lower lips at times. Instead she matches the movement of your hands, and her digits sneak under your shirt to explore your tensing muscles. The arousal is literally palpable, even your clothes start to feel too hot now. As the restrictions start to crumble, Nana takes the first real step: in the blink of an eye she breaks the kiss, sits up, and pulls off her shirt in one move. You barely have a second to admire her athletic upper body, because as soon as she throws her top away, her lips are pressing against yours again. It doesn’t take long for her to reach for your top after that; her fingers hook into the fabric, and you lift from the bed to help her remove it. This time she takes a few seconds to drink in your sight; that lets you enjoy her tantalizing fitness in return.

- Fuck… You are so-

You can’t even finish the sentence, because with a wide grin, she lunges at you, continuing her oral assault where she left off. The sloppy sound of your make-out fills the room, along with heavy breaths and muffled whimpers of arousal. Her fair skin is like velvet under your fingertips as you brush them across her back with unrestrained need. The back of her bra gets in the way of the exploration, but she gives you a quick approval for you to unclasp it. She wiggles out of the pesky piece of fabric, and again, she gives you a mere glimpse of her pert tits before pressing them against your chest to resume with the smooches. Her lips slowly leave yours, and make their way down your jawline, across your neck, and onto your chest. A move you would have rather done to her yourself, but certainly aren’t against to be on the receiving end of. Persistently, she moves further south, only stopping when she reaches your abdomen. She looks up at your flustered face, and with a sly grin, she unbuttons your pants, and unzips your fly. With the lowered resistance, your erection bursts forward, tenting your boxers, the last barrier between you and heaven. Nana tugs at your pants; doesn’t even wait for you to raise your hips, she just yanks it off, but in doing so, your underwear comes off with them. Your cock springs free, and stands at attention proudly, twitching in anticipation. As your princess marvels at your manhood, you get to gawk at her modest, perky breasts. You swear you can see her pink nipples harden, and you give yourself all the credit, since the air in your room is more than warm at this point.

Nana’s mouth hangs agape as she cautiously drops to her knees. You prop yourself up on your elbows to get a better look of her reaching for your pole. Her delicate fingers wrap around your girth tentatively, mapping your pulsing veins. Her clutched palm moves along your shaft in a measured fashion, her eyes locked onto her prize. - Such a nice cock… You look at her curiously, somewhat caught off guard by her statement, but before you could give it much thought, her lips are already hovering your leaking tip. She looks up at you with those innocent cocoa-hued eyes, though you can’t find any trace of modesty in her gaze. It’s filled with lust and hunger as she opens wide to take you inside. You hiss at first, when her hot breath hits your meat, then you let out the air in a shaky breath when she envelopes you in the slick and soppy embrace of her mouth. Your head cocks back for a second, but you regain composure, just so you can look into her eyes. She never breaks eye contact as she dutifully takes more and more of your length into her greedy mouth. She pushes her tongue out with practiced ease, making sure your main vein slides nicely alongside the rougher surface.

Your glans reach her uvula, but she doesn’t gag, merely pauses for a second. Even that’s just for show, because she grins (as much as you dick inside her mouth lets her), and in a heartbeat, she has swallowed you whole, leaving you dazed, reeling, about to break, but above all, impressed and extremely horny. Her eyes start to tear up after a few seconds, and only then she starts to remove your member in a leisurely manner. Her drool covers you from head to balls as she slowly jerks your cock, still looking into your widened eyes, spittle dripping down from her chin.

- Holy shit, Nana.

She flashes you a cheeky, victorious smile. - Not gonna lie, I didn’t think I could take it all. I haven’t been with a guy in quite some time, and none of them were packing like you. Her smirk fades, replaced by a sulking pout as she sees your confused expression. - Did you not like it?

You shake your head.

- No, I did! It felt fucking amazing. It’s just unexpected, is all. I never imagined you to had this side.

- It’s kind of new to me too, to be honest. But I’m sooo horny right now. Have been for a long while, to be honest. You were just so nice today. To me, to my friends, even to the cashier at the shop. You always have been, and you don’t even know what that's doing to me. I have never felt this attraction to anyone, and I… I can’t help it. I want you. So fucking bad.

You reach for her blushing cheeks to caress her, which she welcomes with a satisfied sigh. - I want you too, Nana. But I’m sure you know that.

You lean down, and bring her face to yours for a kiss. It’s sweet and sensual, unlike the ones a few minutes ago. Those few words along with this romantic smooch is all she needed for reassurance. She steps away with a wink, and stares at you as she finally takes her pants off. It’s slow and measured, challenging you to stand up and rip them off, but you are too focused on her slender legs, and the blue-striped panties to move even a muscle. When the jeans finally are off, she kicks them to the side, and with short, calculated steps, she makes her way back to you. With both hands on your shoulders, she pushes you onto your back so she can straddle your lap. The wetness of her core seeps through her underwear as she desperately grinds against your throbbing cock. When you reach for her ass again, you realize it’s not just any pair of panties: it’s a thong. When she sees your surprise, she just grins. - I need you in me right now.

To back up her words, she peels the thin, moist fabric to the side; she can’t be bothered to waste another second to actually take them off. She drags her soaking folds across your spit-coated rod a few times, giving it another layer of her slick juices. You hold your breath to listen to the barely audible wet noises, but her quickening squeals of delight suppress the noise. After a few seconds, when she deems you well lubed enough, she lifts herself, and brings your tip to her entrance. Again, you barely have a second or two to take in the glorious sight before she moves. A sharp inhale, then she sinks down on you. Not slowly. Not carefully. And despite her incredible tightness, she manages to take all of you in a single, reckless motion.

- What the- Jesus! - she screams as you bottom out.

- T-take your time, princess. - you suggest, but it’s for your own good too, because the snugness of her raw pussy is almost unbearable. You don’t even question the foregoing of condoms, you assume she knows best.

She doesn’t even seem to have heard your words, too lost in need, too impatient, after having to wait months for you. Without warning, or any easing into it, she rises up, until only your tip remains inside her silken warmth, then slams down onto you. The sharp slap of your skins echoes through the room, but not for long; this wasn’t a one time trick, or something to show off, just an appetizer. She repeats the motion again and again, harder and faster each time. Her legs can barely handle the brutal pace her body demands, so she fixes her position. With her feet planted firmly on either side of your hips, and her hands propped on your chest for support, she resumes pounding you. It might sound ironic, but there is no arguing about it: she is the one in control, she is the one doing all the work, practically using your pulsing heat as a living dildo to vent her pent up frustrations out with. - Fucking hell… Slow down! - you plead between short, ragged breaths as you hold onto her thighs for dear life, leaving red marks on her flawless skin. - I- I can’t… I need this… I need YOU, damnit! I have waited long enough…

She looks you in the eye, and in it, you can see it all. The glints of almost obsessive adoration fuelled by months of longing and affection. The guilt of hidden desires and the fire of hardly concealed lust. It’s all there, and you can’t believe it’s all for you. You can’t believe how lucky you are to have this angel turn into this insatiable succubus, drunk on your love, riding you into a world of pleasure that may have never been discovered by any other. And within those passion-darkened eyes, you see yourself: a perfect reflection of all her feelings. It’s not like she was the only one who has been fighting back their urges for days on end.

- You understand, right? - she asks, still smashing her ass against your pelvis with unwavering cadence.

- Of course… - you admit between groans. - Let me prove it. You clutch onto her legs with force to keep her in place. She cocks her head in confusion– then you thrust into her. She yelps. Her back arches. Her nails dig into your chest. And the erotic display is fuel to the fire, to your pistoning cock. The pace she has set before? You double it. That causes her voice to grow in volume two-fold too.

- Ah! Y/N! - she cries out, which spurs you on to fuck her even harder.

Now that you have taken the lead, and aren’t just along the ride - though what a ride it was - you have the chance to examine her petite body. You start from the top with her face, or at least want to, but her head is still thrown back, moaning your name between obscenities as pleasure takes over her mind. Her reddened neck looks primed to leave hickeys on, albeit that’s for another time. For an occasion when she doesn’t have to cover it up with makeup from prying eyes. Below that, her small, perky tits bounce with your every stab into her needy cunt. You reach for them with both arms, and grope her soft mounds. She bites her lips from that, but then her jaw slacks open with a guttural howl when you pinch her aroused pink nipples, and roll them between your fingers. The reaction is exactly what you hoped for, so your digits stay on her itty-bitties to continue their work. Your eyes continue their work in the meanwhile. They land on her tummy. Her abs flex constantly as she tries to keep herself steady on top of you. Her skin is patterned by little drops of sweat, some of which give in to gravity and roll down in the crevice of her toned midriff. And the more you fuck her, the more her body glows with sweat. Not too far underneath her cute belly button, the sight of her completely shaved pussy greets you. It’s arguably the most beautiful thing you have ever seen, even in its current state. Or maybe that’s exactly what makes it so enticing. It’s swollen and flushed, her folds already covered in grool, yet your pounding draws even more of the precious nectar out.

*What a shame I couldn’t taste it. Yet. * - you think to yourself.

Nana finally gets a hold of herself, at least enough to look at you. The craving in her eyes is softened with an infatuation that makes you blush. She leans forward with a weak smile, her fingers brush along your cheekbones in a soothing way, raising goosebumps on your arms. The stark contrast between the gentle touch and the obscene slapping of flesh against flesh throws you off, but your hips are moving on their own at this point, unbothered by the sudden show of affection. Not that she intended for you to slow down anyways, just wanted to look at you, adore you, one last time before she comes undone.

Because after holding back for months, this first orgasm comes fast and hits hard, like a bullet train of pleasure. Her eyes are still on yours, but glassy and unfocused now. She bites down on her tongue, trying to hold back a moan, as if she was suddenly self-conscious about making so much noise (little does she know, there aren’t any neighbours around to worry about). You give her taut ass a sharp whack, and that’s enough to get her to scream and arch her back.

- Yes-yes-yes-yes-yes-yes!!!

You don’t just let her savour the orgasm though. No. You fuck her through it. Overwhelming her senses to a degree she can’t contain. You press your thumb onto her clit– a few circles around her pearl is all it takes to turn her into a quivering mess. Her legs give out, and she drops onto your lap, practically impaling herself on your dick, preventing you from pounding her further. Her mouth is open, and you wait for a moan, a curse, a cry, but none of it ever comes. Nana doesn’t even breathe. The only sign of life you get is her walls squeezing around you periodically, clamping down on your rock solid pole.

It’s sort of a miracle you don’t lose it right there. But you hold back because you want more. More of her moans. More of her tight, silky heat. More of her pretty face distorted with pleasure. More of her jiggling breasts. More of her firm ass. More of Nana.

- Holy fuck! - she finally speaks up amidst shallow breaths - That was incredible… I never… I never came so hard in my life.

- Yeah, that felt unreal. - you agree, lacing your fingers through hers. - You are fucking perfect.

- But… But you didn’t finish yet. - she notes, slightly disappointed, but not discouraged, evident by her playful smirk. - Maybe a good look at my butt would help.

With your cock still inside her drenched slit, she spins around, and nestles into your lap. She tries to go fast right away, but her still sensitive pussy forces her to take a moment before she could properly ride you. At first, you grab onto the sheets, just watching as ripples tear through her glistening ass. But you can’t go on like that for long. Not when such perfection is right in front of you, taunting you, begging to be played with. And so you reach out, take both her taut cheeks in your palms, and give them a nice squeeze.

- Mmmh~ I knew you would like it.

- I fuckin’ LOVE it. - you correct her. When she looks back at you over her shoulders, her hair cascades down on her back, sticking to her sweaty skin. Her lust-filled gaze finds yours, stuck to her cute little bottom, and to the puckered hole in its centre. A knowing smile tugs at her lips as she turns forward again, and she rides you even faster. You spread her cheeks to get a better look at her rear entrance; it twitches, daring you to make a move. And you don’t need to be asked twice. After licking your thumb to lube it up, you inch closer and closer to her backdoor, and since Nana doesn’t protest, you press forward. To your surprise, it gives way to you without much resistance, as if she was prepared for it, wishing for it even. And judging by her loud, almost deafening moan, that’s exactly the case.

The added sensation makes her already tight cunt clench your dick even harder. She gasps, shuddering, but she doesn’t stop. She can’t. She wants to push you to your peak and past that. She wants you to cum for her, to show her how much you adore her, how much she turns you on, how good she feels. If only she knew.

- Come on Y/N… Cum for me! - she begs as she rolls her hips in a way only a practiced dancer like she can.

Your reply is a moan. A desperate, covetous wail, that gives away just how close you are to the edge. Teetering on the brink, facing the abyss… An abyss of pure bliss and overflowing emotions. Its pull is irresistible, as is Nana, and you feel the inferno in your abdomen building up, threatening to erupt at any time. And no matter how wet she is, how much she is leaking all over your lap and onto the bed sheets, it only feeds the fire more, along with your own unravelling. You are almost there, and Nana knows it too from the way your length twitches more and more inside her, and from your short, laboured breaths through gritted teeth.

- Please just fill me up already! Now that’s just cheating. One that probably works eleven out of ten times. Your body locks up as you drown in the pleasure. You try to hold her still against your pelvis as you start to unload inside her welcoming little hole, but she slaps your trembling hands away, and rides you even faster.

Did you really think she wouldn’t pay back for the ‘favour’ of you overstimulating her when she came? You should have known better.

She fucks you, until you’re a shaking mess under her– until her second orgasm hits. The way your combined moans fill the room (the whole house, really) along with the wet sounds of your mixing juices, as it sloshes around lewdly with Nana’s every movement, is completely obscene. It’s a beautifully filthy symphony, played by and for the two of you.

A/N: Your dog is in the garden, preoccupied with searching for a treat he buried a week ago, in case you’re wondering.

Nana rolls her hips slowly to ride out the last moments of her orgasm, while also milking your cock for every last drop of cum you have to offer. She purrs in delight as you fill her thirsty womb, then, once you have nothing left to give, she turns around and collapses on top of you– entirely spent, and thoroughly satisfied. Her hot breath tickles your neck as she lies on your chest, but you barely register it. Your brain is locked onto the receptors in your nether region. Still, with how out of it you are, you manage to command your body to do one thing: hug Nana close.

The two of you stay in that sticky embrace, your chests heaving against the other’s with each shallow breath while your spunk slowly drips out of her used slit. It takes a few minutes before either of you come down from the high, able to speak again.

- You are way too good at that. That had to be my biggest load yet.

- Thanks, handsome~ You are no slouch yourself. - she returns the flattery along with a small kiss, then looks at you. Her eyes sparkle with the afterglow of your ravenous lovemaking, but she has a slightly bashful expression on. - This- This was the first time anyone came inside me. I don’t know what came over me, I was just so turned on, so horny, and I really wanted to know what it felt like, and I wanted it to be you, because I didn’t know when we could do this again… And I don’t want you to think I’m the kind of girl, who just sleeps around for the heck of it, opening her legs for any-

You shut her yapper with a deep, passionate kiss, until she finally relaxes in your arms.

- You have nothing to explain, Nana. Not to me, not to yourself. - your fingers brush through her hair for further reassurance.

She stares back with adoration, then lays her head on your chest with a sigh. The stark contrast between the rough sex and the intimacy of this moment doesn’t elude you, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s not like you went all out because there was not even a trace of emotion between you; it’s the exact opposite. You were both so starved for physical affection, so head over heels for the other, that this was the best and only way to release everything that’s been consuming you since your first kiss.

- I hate to be this responsible right now, - you disrupt the blissful peace - but I should take a piss. And I really need to hydrate.

- Sure… You go ahead and do that… I’ll just… wait for you here…

You steal a kiss before she rolls off of you, then you leave the room in your boxers. After you accomplish your mission and let Bingley inside, you return to Nana with two bottles of water.

- Here. You should drink too.

- Oh yeah, thanks.

- Want me to lend you a shirt for the night? - you ask after emptying half the bottle.

- Hmmm, no. I want to fall asleep cuddling like this.

- As you wish, princess.

You discard the soaked blankets for a clean one, take off your boxers, then lie behind Nana with your arms wrapped around her exhausted body. The strong scent of sex lingers in the room, only dampened by the sweetness of Nana’s shampoo. She settles deeper into your calming embrace, her bare skin still warm and damp with exertion, and it feels sooo nice against your body. Like she was always meant to be right there. Right here. With you. The only sound disturbing the tranquil silence is the nestling from her thighs as they absentmindedly rub together at the delicious soreness you left in her. Until you remember something.

- Oh! Just one more thing.

- Mmm? - she groans, barely awake.

- I love you.

- I know. - she leaves the words hanging for a few, very uncomfortable seconds - I love you too.

Her breaths become silent purrs, and her pulse slows to a soothing thrum against your palm on her stomach. She threads her fingers through yours, content, loved, comfy, pleased.

- Good night princess.

- Mmm~

You stay awake for a while, drawing little circles on the back of her hand, replaying the events of today in your head. Especially this last half an hour. Would she have been like this if you went all the way earlier? Who knows? Who cares? Was it worth the wait regardless? Absolutely. Because all that matters is her, lying in your arms, naked, after the best sex of your life. So far! Because with Nana, you know you will have all the fun in the world– in and out of bed. And doubtless, she will prove that in the morning when she wakes up by your side. By her beloved Y/N.

[lvl1l1]

hello!! i was wondering if you could do lads men with an mc who plays an instrument? specifically drums if you’re comfortable! hope youre doin well!

LaDS men with an MC who plays an instrument

pairings: Sylus, Caleb, Rafayel, Zayne, Xavier x GN!MC/reader

genre: some fluffy hcs

a/n: ahhh my first req tysm!! i love this idea sm. i play the guitar myself, so this is a lil self indulgent hehe not that familiar with drums, so i kept it a bit vague. i hope you like it!!!

Sylus

Sylus is a vinyl collector, honestly, he’d go as far as calling himself a music connoisseur. Music is something that connects him to you, even if you yourself don’t remember why exactly, it’s safe to say that he’d be delighted to know you play an instrument.

He’d always ask you to play something for him, anything really. Whether it’s a short piece you came up with yourself or your favourite song, he’ll gladly listen.

He would be so impressed whenever you played anything and he’s just grateful you’re comfortable enough to play infront of him.

If you were shy at first, worried about disturbing him or thinking you’re not skilled enough, he’d scoff and reassure you, not just in the moment but whenever he could,

“Sweetie, everyone lucky enough to witness your talent should feel honored.”

You stopped taking him to concerts because he’d always say something like,

“You could play better than them.”

He’s your biggest hype-man and tries to encourage you to never drop your hobby. He’ll buy a new set, expensive equipment, without you ever having to ask and he gifts you a whole band room in the base.

He’s always humming the melodies you practiced in the base and he’s always making sure no one disturbs you during your sessions.

Sylus is your biggest supporter, he wants you to play even during the day, assuring you it wouldn’t disturb his sleep.

He just loves how talented you are.

Caleb

He still remembers when you first picked up on your instrument.

He was so glad you had found something you loved, doing his best to show his support.

Back when you two still lived at home, he’d always clap after you were done practicing. If your grandma wanted you to stop playing because it was getting late or what-not, he would always defend you and tell you to keep playing anyway.

Now, with your newfound dynamic, he’s just glad you haven’t given up on your passion.

He’d get you another set just for his apartment in Skyhaven, so that you could play even when you were staying with him.

He doesn’t mind you playing even late at night, he’s used to hearing you practice and it even brings him a sense of comfort and familiarity.

If you learn how to play any of his favourite songs, he’ll feel incredibly honored and he’d start preferring your instrumental version over the official song.

He’d ask you if he could record you playing a song of your choice, so he could make it his ringtone.

Caleb would also 100% mention to everyone he knows that you play an instrument and he’d constantly brag about how talented you are.

He’s just so proud of you, his lil musician.

Rafayel

Rafayel found out by barging into your apartment one day after you gave him the key to your place, hearing you practice. He wouldn’t make himself known until you were done playing, he’d start clapping and cheering and then start acting offended, as to why you hadn’t revealed your talent to him before.

We know lemurians are good singers, just look at Talia and Rafayel himself. He’d be over the moon knowing you two could make music together now.

He’d ask you to play and start singing along, there’s nothing he enjoys more, bonus points if you get flustered from hearing him sing.

He makes a habit of painting while you play, saying your tunes give him inspiration.

If you wanted to, he could get you some gigs. She may sing classical but he’d totally set you up with Talia, if you wanted. And he tells you that Thomas could be your manager all the time, even if you insist you don’t want to make a career out of your hobby.

Rafayel can truly appreciate art, he compliments your skills all the time and he’ll never take you playing for him, for granted.

Zayne

Zayne would never stop being impressed. He already thinks you’re incredible, any new talent you reveal to him just leaves him awe-struck all over.

I don’t think he’d specifically ask you to play for him but he’s always happy to listen.

If you stopped playing because he was reading or working, he’d tell you it doesn’t bother him at all. It actually grounds him, knowing you’re right there with him and he loves that you two can enjoy each other’s company, even though you’re both doing your own thing.

I actually hc that Zayne used to play an instrument himself, the violin or cello maybe but he dropped it because he didn’t really have time to play anymore. So, it makes him all the more happy that you make time for your passion, even with your hectic schedule.

He’d love for you to ask him to buy you equipment, be it new drumsticks, a metronome or whatever else you could need.

Like Caleb, he likes mentioning your talent to his peers. Everyone working at the hospital knows what instrument you play. It’s mostly because it gives him an easy topic for small talk, but he’s also very proud of you.

Once you two move in together, he’d make sure you have a big space you can utilise. Whether you want a music room to yourself or just a corner in the living room, he’ll gladly provide you with whatever you need.

I definitely think his parents would also ask you to play for them whenever they come to visit. Zayne tells you, you don’t have to if you don’t want to but he knows they’re only asking because they’re as proud of you as he is.

Xavier

The walls in your apartment are thin, so he’s heard you play before but Xavier never mentioned it until you two started dating.

If you feel a bit embarrassed, that he’s heard all your practice sessions, he’d reassure you that he thoroughly enjoyed hearing you play.

Xavier wouldn’t mind you playing while he was sleeping at all, it wouldn’t be able to wake him anyway but he also tells you it helps lull him to sleep, regardless of your preferred genre.

“Xavier how does listening to metal make you sleepy?”

“It just does, so keep playing.”

It’s probably mostly because you’re the one playing, whenever you’re involved he just feels calm, doesn’t matter if you’re jamming to some death metal.

He might not be a conflict-seeking person but he’s willing to fight your neighbours for you, if they complain.

He thinks as long as you’re playing during the day, they can suck it up. You’re not even that loud, he says.

But he’d also be down to buy you an electrical drum-set/a quiet alternative to the instrument you’re playing.

Xavier would probably ask you to teach him how to play, it would be a great way to spend more time with you and learn more about the thing you’re passionate about.

Xavier also canonically plays the piano, so I think he’d be quick on the uptake with any other instrument, he can read notes already, good start.

He’d probably offer to teach you how to play the piano in exchange for lessons on your instrument. If you also play the piano, he’d definitely suggest playing some duets together, making sure you sit closely next to him.

He definitely thinks you look super cool while playing, his wallpaper is a candid shot of you with your instrument.

[uchinagai]

The rhythm of winter - karina

𝜗𝜚 idol!Karina x figure skater!reader

𝜗𝜚 synopsis : y/n,  one of the biggest names in figure skating and Karina, also a big name in the K-pop industry. None expected these two worlds to collide, even if y/n secretly enjoyed their music, but all it took was 2024 winter Olympics that was hosted in south Korea to make the idol fall in love with the girl.

𝜗𝜚 contains : idol! Karina, figure skater!reader, fem!reader, wlw, mentions of ED, starving, overworking, cursing, bad mental health, strangers to lovers, the reader is 20, angsty but not really, mostly written in 3rd person view, kind of rushed in the end??

𝜗𝜚 w/k : 4.6k+

𝜗𝜚 a/n : english is not my first OR second language so please, ignore anything incorrect. this story is heavily inspired by Alexandra Trusova's 2022 Beijing but then just changed up. first time writing something this big so if spotted any mistakes please ignore them.. some Olympic events are changed for the plot and stuff. . Check out moodboards for a better idea of the vibes they bring to the function hehe… enjoyyyyy :3

Y/n moodboard || Karina moodboard

y/n, a top tier figure in skating known for her dark yet captivating aura. Some may even call her Yuzuru Hanyu's girl version in skating, she was that good. But the girl was mysterious, she had a lot of friends in the industry, Yuzu himself, Anna Scherbakova, Mao Shimada and so many others, but she was reserved from the public eye. Nobody knew her but also everyone did because she still made headlines. It was either about her dark fashion sense, skills, interviews, she was everywhere and was known as “South Korea's pride” that was till the 2022 Beijing incident.

She was promised, she was encouraged, she starved herself for this. She needed that gold medal like breathing, but no. everyone lied to her, including her coach, whom she trusted with everything. She got second, which in her world was losing: “winning is first place, everything else is losing.” She was mad at everyone and everything, they PROMISED her. She needed to land that god sake five quads that no woman has ever landed in history and she did it. She had to stop eating, lose weight, train unrealistically to achieve it yet it was not enough. When she finished her routine she was happy, she landed something no woman has ever done at age of 18 but her own friend, Anna, beat her to it. She was crushed, devastated, to say the least. She cried her heart out, cursing everyone who tried to get near her, her makeup was ruined but she could care less. She was so mad that getting near her was the same as stepping into a minefield—dangerous and potentially explosive. She pushed her own friend away. Was it slightly silly to end your friendship of 8 years over skating? Maybe. Did she care at all? No. This sport is her life and if someone ruins her perfect life, she gets rid of them. She blamed Anna, her coach, judges, everyone. In the changing room she lost it officially to her coach, she kept throwing skates at her cursing her out while the coach just dodged the, tried talking her out but y/n was never gonna have it. When she got back on stage for the awarding she had a mask on, yet it was obvious how shattered the girl was. In the interview said the lines that would change her career:

“I'm never stepping on ice again, I hate it.”

Who was she lying to? Of course she would make a big comeback for the 2024 olympics. She laughed at anyone who thought she was actually going and could freely compete without being threatened by her skills. She took private training in those two years while also working on her mental health away from the public eye, something she was expert in. In two years she also got into her home country's pop music.  K-pop was all over so she gave it a chance and discovered a few groups she enjoyed music of. She loved girl groups. Some of the groups didn’t match her usual aura but yet she enjoyed Girls generation, Red Velvet, (G)I-DLE, Newjeans, Kiss of life, Aespa., she loved the girls. But she had a goal to achieve in her home country: get the gold that was once stolen from her.

Karina, leader and main dancer of girl group Aespa, one of the biggest names in K-pop industry. Everyone was losing their mind over the girl. She looked unreal since her debut and earned the title of “human ai” along. She was pretty, talented and sweet and loved making friends in and out of the industry. She loved her job and the spotlight even more, so when her group got invited to the 2024 Winter Olympics as special guests, she was absolutely ecstatic, buzzing with excitement at the thought of being in the center of attention with cameras and she would also get to enjoy such shows as olympics live. Aespa opened the ceremony with their title track Armageddon and it was time for countries to come out. First was traditionally Greece to open and when it finally came to their country, South Korea, Karina fixed her posture to watch her home country athletes enter. They seemed so cool, Karina thought but a black haired girl seemed to draw her in. she couldn’t tear her eyes away from her. Maybe it was the look she gave to everyone, how reserved she seemed, but the girl was for sure interesting. She was wearing a basic white jacket as other athletes walked down while waving their country flag, the girl walked behind, looking around confidently with a small smirk that was till she looked to the side…. Russia.  Her once best friend, Anna, had to be there. Not like she wasn’t expecting her but seeing her was… a painful reminder of everything she had lost and everything she was determined to reclaim. Anna already knew the girl was there, she felt sad watching her from afar knowing nothing was changing between them. On the other hand, Aespa girls sat at a special spot, watching them. Karina couldn’t feel the tension between athletes but her focus never left the girl.

As they walked down and finished everything, she turned to her manager.

“Who was that girl, in the back, looking all scary?”

“You mean y/n l/n? She's figure skater”

“I'm shocked that she actually made the comeback…” said Ningning, shocked in a low whisper..

“Why is that?” Karina questioned.

“You don’t watch the Olympics at all, do you?” winter said, causing girls to laugh while the leader just sulked.

“Long story short, at Beijing 2022 she went crazy… absolutely lost her mind over winning second place.”

“Why? Second place is very good” Karina said.

“That's y/n for you. Her famous quote is “Winning is the first place, everything else is losing.” plus she did something no woman athlete has ever achieved at the age of 18.” Ningning explained as Karina realized just how serious the younger girl was.

The actual tournament was planned a few days later since there were other sports but instead of training, y/n was stuck with government officials of Korea and a bunch of chaebol kids ripping her ear off while talking. She had no interest in being here, she needed to train but couldn’t decline the offer since other athletes were going too and it was hosted by officials. So here she was, standing in front of the table with red wine in her hand. From afar it looked like a vampire had sneaked in, y/n is pale, tall, slender with deep black hair and bloody red lips. Her outfit wasn't anything big either, a black dress tight around her figure, a big puffer chrome hearts jacket, and big boots adding a few inches to her height even if she was tall without them. Her makeup wasn’t anything special either, not like her usual dark concept, it was light but she balanced it with “Kro 02” from Gentle Monster (sorry I really had to specify). Party was… boring to say the least. It was more like money talks between the rich, while athletes and singers were present for formal purposes.

Right, talking about singers.

y/n saw a few familiar faces that she saw on TV which made her slightly excited but had about zero courage to walk up to them. She was too tired of humans in general even if she hasn't seen the public eye for 2 whole years. y/n was shocked seeing how almost flawless these idols were: perfect posture, always collected face and easily socialized with everyone. They had no problem with walking up to any chaebol old or young and starting a flowing conversation. What were they even talking about? God knows. 

That was till y/n spotted her so called ‘bias’ from Aespa standing away from party, observing and seemed like she was just as bored with everything happening in front of her.

They locked eyes.

y/n just locked eyes with the Karina of Aespa.

She felt slightly intimidated by her gaze, that was still the girl's face softened and sent her a small smile which made y/ns heart flutter…  just a little.

None of them dared to step forward first even though Karina felt drawn to the younger one and without her knowledge the feeling was very much the same.

y/n considered Aespa, especially Karina, one of the best groups in their generation. SM for sure knew how to pick visuals AND talent at once because the girl across the table was everything. She was the prettiest girl y/n has ever seen on camera and in real life, the camera does no justice to her beautiful face. Sharp jawline, a smooth nose, and a perfectly shaped nose with amazing facial harmony, the girl was breathtaking. And talent? She had everything an idol needed, she was the main dancer for a reason, her movements were clean and sharp, her vocals were unmatched and the girl could even rap if she wanted to. She was sweet and playful with her fans too. 

She was perfect.

y/n wanted to be as perfect in her job as the older one. Even if they had different professions, y/n looked up to her idol due to her determination and hard work. She knew being an idol was no easy job at all and they trained just as hard. They had a huge hate train too and one scandal could ruin their whole career,

which was new to y/n even if she caused the scene of 2022 in Beijing. She had a huge fanbase who supported her and understood her pain of losing. She was more than grateful but she knew it wasn’t the same for them; they were criticized for everything so it was normal for them to get criticized for even looking at the opposite gender, which was so silly to y/n. So what if she looked at another guy? Doesn’t that mean they’re in love with each other; she was friends with so many opposite-gender figure skaters due to projects or introductions from friends. She could never see them more than a friend and colleague.

While y/n got so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t notice one of her childhood friends, who was one of the only chaebol kids she could stand, approach her with the black-haired girl next to him.

“Yo, y/nnie.’ 

Pause

“y/n, I call your ass back to this universe!” he says, as he nudges her side to snap her out of her clouds.

“What?”

As she freezes. Karina was next to him, standing there looking right at her. The gaze was alluring, like it was serenading y/n into her; or she was just reading into it deeply before speaking up.

“It’s nice to finally meet you, y/nnie,” she says as she reaches out her hand for y/n to shake.

“Nice to meet you too, Karina, was it?” she says as she shakes her hand slightly awkwardly due to y/n being starstruck by the girl's beauty up close.

While y/n was star-struck, Karina was no better; it was like the girl wrecked her whole orbit to bits and was having a hard time staying nonchalant about this small interaction.

“You two finally met. I think y’all know each other from TV a least so I thought u guys would get along. I present Jimin to you, y/n” Jaewon says and whispers into Karina's ear “She’s not very social” which Y/n hears right away giving an offended look.

“That’s not true”

“It is”

“Is not !!”

“Anyways!! I leave you two to it” he says as he grabs a champagne and leaves the girls alone, standing awkwardly. That was till Karina just burst out laughing which caused y/n to tilt her head in confusion.

“What’s so funny?”

“No- no it's just that it was so silent and awkward I couldn’t help but laugh.”

“Oh right,” y/n says and chuckles awkwardly.

“Well im Karina, of Aespa, I don’t know if you know much about us, but yeah”

“I’ve heard a few thing or two. I'm bae y/n, the figure skater”

“I did my research about you before I came over here, you’re quite interesting”

Oh, that means she probably knows about Beijing…

“Oh really? What did you learn?”

“Well that first, you’re the ‘quad’ queen, seriously those 5 quads were amazing, how long did it take you??”

She knows.

“Quite a lot it was one hell of a deal too,” y/n says as she giggles and and takes a sip from her wine.

If Karina ever had a chance to re-hear the girl's giggles she would give anything, literally. It was so smooth and angelic that it made her want to become more of a funny person so she could get to hear the girl's laughter more.

“How’s the idol life? I don't really know much” a lie. y/n knew everything that was related to Aespa, she followed the fansites of each member and kept up with them WHILE training.

“Nothing exciting, we just had a comeback, if you watched the performance, scandals there, brand deals here, and it a little messy but we managed it!!” says Karina excited “We are a group of four, I'm the leader, ningning, Giselle, and winter”

“Winter? As in season??” y/n jokes as she chuckles. 

‘Yes!! But she’s not cold or anything, she’s the sweetest, it's her stage name. Her actual name is Minjeong, I'm Jimin, ningning is Ning Yizhuo, and Giselle is Aeri.”

“Oh so that’s why Jaewon called you Jimin,’ y/n says as she starts laughing “-also, ningnings name is so pretty, is she Chinese?”

“Yeah she's from Harbin”

“Oh, the cold queen? We would get along, all the ice made me immune to cold”

“What are your plans for this Olympics?”

“Gold.”

“She knows what she wants.” Karina thought.

“By what I’ve seen so far, I think you’ll for sure get that.”

Even if y/n knew that she was good, these words coming from her idol, for sure encouraged her and made her feel more proud.

“Thank you, Karina-ssi.”

—

The time passed, and the party came to an end without her being sick and tired of people talking non-stop, because Karina was next to her, making her laugh and enjoy the might little more. Of course, they exchanged numbers and for the last bid their goodbyes.

Has y/n always been this nervous before the match? No, but she was the last one to come out for her stage, and right before hers, Anna was on the ice and she was magnificent. Y/n knew Anna loved ice just as much as she did and truly enjoyed it. She was talented, determined, and very gentle and smooth with her movements, she was artistic, which y/n lacked a bit. Y/n always focused on tricks and spins while Anna was mesmerizing even if she didn’t have many tricks up her sleeve, she still had an impact on judges; that’s why her current score was looking at 243.12, which was good, but lower than 2022, which made y/n a bite happy, she could beat that, right?

y/ns choreography was complicated but didn’t lack the artistic side of it while also being full of tricks. The program concept was “the fallen angel”. y/n was wearing a dark black costume with hints of silver. The design was a well-fitted costume with metallic and feathered accents resembling broken wings with a combination, but the sleeves were flowy enough to make her movement seem more balanced while having dark smokey eyes.

The coach was talking in her ear, some encouragement but she muffled it out and calmed her breath as she did small jumps at the spot to warm up.

“AND FOR THE FINAL… Y/N L/N, REPRESENTING REPUBLIC OF KOREA!!”

Was announced by speakers as people started cheering for her. At least she didn’t get a black ocean or silence.

The door opened and after stepping on that ice with her black, leather skates everything went black; y/n made her way to the center and the beginning pose was simple: bend down on one knee, head bowed, with one arm extended as if reaching for something unattainable. Slowly “Dies Irae” by Verdi fades in and the choreo begins for a dramatic and intense opening

She Begins with a clean 4S to maintain the technical momentum

then lands 4F, challenging jump with precision to earn high base points and GOE.

 After 4F we get 4Lz with amplitude and control. 

Is she gonna try the same thing? But her body can’t take another 5 quads. As her coach thought, the music fades to “O Fortuna” by Carl Orff, building towards a powerful climax.

4T+3T serves as a technical highlight in the middle of the program.

4Lo Incorporate this difficult quad to maximize the technical score.

There it was; another five quads. The crowd goes loud, she did it once again, these would for sure earn higher than Anna, right? … but she was not done yet while the music goes to the last part, “Symphony No.7, in a major, Op. 92 - II. Allgeretoo” by Beethoven for a solemn and reflective ending. 

3A+2T A reliable combination that adds to the overall technical difficulty.

3Lz Execute later in the program, maintaining a clean technique despite fatigue.

3A+1Lo+3S This combination sequence increases the difficulty, especially in the latter part of the program.

She also did a few spins to earn more points such as Flying Camel Spin (FCSp4) Layback Spin (LSp4) and Combination Spin with Change of Foot (CCoSp4).

Finally. 

The ending pose was with a deep knee bend, one arm reaching upward as if making a final plea, and the other hand placed over the heart.

She got up, and looked at the judges from her lashes, almost glaring with a smirk, she didn’t celebrate like last time for 2022 instead left the stage and made her way to the changing room.

Little did she know, the black-haired girl that she was texting each night was watching over her, with a satisfied look, she didn’t know anything about the tricks y/n landed but they for sure looked amazing and memorable. She watched her 2022 performance and she could feel the change in her. The aura was unmatched, she was magnetic, and everything about her was Karina's style even if the girl texted like an elder due to being slow with the keyboard and not being into texting. As she watched in awe winter nudged her

“Fallen angel got your heart?”

“WHAT?? NO??”

“Oh, she definitely has~” ningning teased causing Karina to glare at her.

“We just became friends and I think she’s very… cool,” Karina admitted as members started making random sounds to make the leader blush.

Younger was sitting in the waiting room, the camera on her, focused on the screen waiting for her overall score.

Technical Element score: 136.23.

Of course, she gets a pretty high score, that’s her best trait.

Program Component Score: 112.14

This was unexpected; pretty high for skating skills, transitions, performance, composition, and interpretation.

Deductions: 3.15

Wait.

Oh my god.

Overall score: 245,22

She just won, not only over Ana but she also won gold for her country with 2 whole points of difference. She was stunned, frozen.

Not like she wasn’t secretly waiting for it but still, it felt unreal. 

She made it.

She was leaving the room for the medal presentation when, out of the corner of her eye, she saw Anna clapping and cheering for her.

She smiled back at her.

Everything wasn’t over, after all.

As the gold was placed around her neck she bit down on it, for the tradition as she looked up to the crowd waving happily with Ana on her right, with silver.

There she saw the girl.

Clapping and jumping for her, screaming and she couldn’t help but laugh at Karina's silliness. She waved at older as she waved back.

Karina didn’t care about the spotlight or cameras that would capture this moment, she was cheering for her friend and her idol image was her least of worries. She saw how Anna and Y/n looked at each other. She couldn’t put this feeling in words but it for sure made her uneasy. If she could be on that ice, she would snatch Y/n right away and never let them interact but she’s meters away from the stadium and it would for sure cause a scene, so she's standing back, clapping for the winners. She could see how Anna was admiring her Y/n from the lower platform as Y/n was too oblivious due to her excitement. Older was glad Y/n was not paying attention because if she did acknowledge Anna she would drop all of her morals and cause the scene she’s being held back from. But Karina was also very conflicted, why was she feeling like this? Why is she all of a sudden so possessive over the girl? They’re not even that close, yet she yearns for her attention all of the time, calls her, spams her, and says random things JUST to get her attention, so what would older do?

Leave her position as soon as the crowd goes thin and walks to the lounge where athletes are gathered, complimenting each other's performance and just chatting. She spots her desired figure, the whole reason for her to consider being in a relationship late at night, the whole reason why she felt her knees go weak over a smile.

She was standing in front of a girl, y/n's honey-like laughter dripping out of her voice as she spoke with the person.

She was holding a panda plushy, an animal that Karina discovered to be Y/n’s favorite in the interview Younger mentioned. The person in front of her, whose face was shadowed by y/n was still an easy one to recognize.

Anna.

They seem to rekindle their relationship. So it appears.

Karina is probably the only person in this world to hate this sight, so here she is, standing there like a sore thumb watching the two interact with ease.

While she just stood there, the rest of the members decided to follow their leader to wherever she was heading off to and stood behind her.

“Rina?” the youngest called out to her frozen figure making her jump a little and look over her shoulder seeing her members with worry plastered on their faces.

“Yeah?”

Without a response, Giselle nudged her towards y/n and Karina took it as a sign and approached the younger, tapping on her shoulder as she turned around, a small smile flashing on her face.

“Hey,”

“Hey..”

Silence fell for a moment broken by Winter's small slip of a giggle making Karina glare at her over her shoulder while y/n looked at the short-haired girl, crackling a chuckle herself.

“The performance was excellent… I knew you could do it…” Said Karina mentally cringing at her awkwardness while the girl in front of her burst into laughter. Was she laughing at her?

“I never imagined you this awkward, especially over messages and that night at the party,” said y/n causing Karina to relax and now pout.

“I didn’t know how to approach you since you were already talking to somebody else…” she said, causing Anna to peek over her shoulder, a small smile on her face, assuming that idol meant her.

The girl was Slavic and looked like a perfect doll. She had a classical, graceful look with soft, light brown hair that flowed in loose waves. Her facial features were harmonious and refined, with a gentle and approachable expression. Even if on ice, she looked icey, in real life, she made up for all the warmth. Her sweet aura and presence made Karina feel uneasy.

It ate her up inside seeing them so casually together, chatting.

“Hello,” the girl greeted with a small accent slipping, which sounded adorable.

Idol smiled at her and bowed turning her gaze back to the younger.

“Remember, you promised me ice cream” Karina reminds y/n which causes the skate to sigh.

“I thought you would drop that..”

“Not after you told me you have never tasted mint chocolate,”

While the two kept going back and forth, the skater trying to reason with the idol, Anna stood there, watching the two bicker. It warmed Annas’ heart watching a person she associated with her childhood be so lively after everything she had to put herself through. Even if Anna wasn’t there, watching y/n prepare for the 2024 Olympics, she knew she wouldn’t be so easy on herself with food.

She noticed the lack of fat just as they stepped on ice, not like the girl wasn’t already in great shape.

“It was great, catching up, y/n” Anna interrupts the duo as y/n turns around.

“That’s sounding like a goodbye to me,” y/n joked as Anna nodded.

“It’s best I head back now,”

“Oh, sure then, text me… if you ever feel like it,” Y/n says as they hug each other for the last time and bid their goodbyes.

“You never tell me that,” Singer breaks the silence that was once achieved, causing y/n to turn around.

“Huh?”

“Do you like Anna?”

“You’re overwhelming me what is going on??” y/n was lost for words, idol always managed to mess her up, and not be able to form a straight thought. 

“Do you, or do you not love Russian ice skater, Anna Shcherbakova, y/n l/n?” Karina asks determined to find out the question fearing for the answer.

“No, No I don’t, Yu Jimin,” y/n answers back in the same tone but in a slightly mocking way.

‘No’ as an answer was all it took for Karina to lose all her threads holding her back to slide her hand from y/ns jaw to her neck and pull her into a kiss.

Figure skater was frozen, confused, and conflicted but couldn’t help but return the kiss as she grabbed older by her waist, pulling her closer as they savored the moment till both of them had to pull away, panting for air but saliva still connecting the two.

“W-wha?-” y/n looked at the older girl, wide-eyed, her voice barely above a whisper, “What… was that?”

“I think it’s the right time to tell you that I like you,”

“And you thought that was a proper way to say it instead of communicating like adults?”

y/n saying that to Karina felt like she just got rejected, right in front of others she tried to pull away but the second she tried, she felt y/ns grip on her tighten

“I didn’t say I hated it either.”

“You’re so complicated…”

“You still owe me that mint chocolate ice cream date and then I won't be so complicated”

“oh-ohhh, so you’re inviting yourself on a date now?”

“Yes or no jimin?”

“Million times a yes.”

"we are still fucking here," Ningning chimed in.

of course. they followed their leader.

[no1blacksapphirefan]

Hello there! I love the work you do and hope that you have a great day! My request is for your Self-Aware Cookie Run au.

The reader somehow is transported into the game, meaning they can finally interact with everyone. There is just one drawback, their body is now a replica of the cookie that appears in the guild domain. (Ex: They chose Shadow Milk in the guild domain and now they have the same body as him.) I imagine some cookies have fun with this, using it as opportunity to pull some pranks or maybe even tease them a bit if the cookie the reader chose was their favorite. Maybe even try on costumes that were made for that cookie?

Also I would like Red Velvet and Capsaicin to be included in this ask please?

Hihii!! I hope you're having a good day too :D Glad you like my work hehe, your idea is very silly and I hope you enjoy

Red Velvet He was just looking for his cute lil cake hounds and now he's face to face with...himself?? Huh, when did this happen...AND WHY DOES HIS CAKE HOUNDS LIKE THIS CLONE OF HIM MORE?? He gently asks them to come back, what if you're some evil entity that can change form!! He can't let them be hur-...what's that Chiffon?...Wait what-

You're not sure how he understood the dog, if he actually did and it was just a "cooler"/funnier way to show that he knows but he points at you and questions if your truly their so called "God" Wow that's weird to hear out of someones mouth, you didn't know the cookies saw you as their God? You think? All you had to do was say you're name and he just stands there in shock. He wanted to meet you but like this??...Wow...And you look like him too...he gets a bit flustered when you explain why you look like him, due to the guild. But he's also happy, and Chiffon and the other Cake Hounds like you so, win-win?

Capsaicin He got so confused at first, looking you up and down. You know that TV trope where the character acts like it's a mirror? Holding up one arm and the "clone" (in this case you) holds up the other. I see him doing that. He has a feeling he knows you, and not the fact that it's just...well him staring back. But he feels like your just a separate person.

When you tell him he's so happy, quickly hugging you tight. He wanted to meet you for so long!! He does question why you look like him, so you explain that you seem to just be a "copy" of whoever you had as your avatar in guild. Oh he's so honoured, out of all the cookies you chose him to be and walk around in, in your guild? Definitely tries to convince you to pull some pranks on the others.

Shadow Milk Imagine your dressed as the Sage of Truth though. Like he's walking around, humming to himself then he suddenly sees an alternate version of himself. What?? How, is he dreaming? Must be an illusion, he flies over and pokes you, just to see if you're real before pinching himself...so you're real and he's not dreaming, then why is he--

When you spoke out to him he came to realise who you were, let's just say your voice stayed the same. He...isn't sure what to think. Like, don't get me wrong, he loves seeing you here now and to think that you chose him to, in better words. Represent yourself in your guild is making him feel butterflies but...he's staring at this version of himself, this version who had accepted what he had not...it was strange and he didn’t know what to think. It takes him a bit to get used too, he still wants to hang around you but it may take a bit to ignore the fact you looked like what he could’ve been in another universe.

((He defo convinces you to pull pranks on other cookies though))

Pure Vanilla Oh? Oh my, he stares at you for a bit, he had thought he heard your voice when he was taking a walk but now he just sees himself. Calmly picking up flowers. When this version of him turns around and spots him, you nearly had a heart attack, you didn't think you'd meet him. You quickly explain and all he can do is laugh gently, lending a hand out and asks if you'd walk with him.

This is quite the discovery though, he always wanted to meet you in "person" (...cookieson?) and imagined either him getting out of the screen or seeing you as a cookie like they were, but you were just a clone of him in better terms. He's very happy to hear the reason seemed to be that you used him to represent yourself in your little guild. He's so honoured.

Black Pearl Hear me out, just like Shadow Milk. Instead of looking like Black Pearl, you looked like White Pearl. Her more...tranquil side, when she was happier. You just wanted to test out swimming, it's a new body after all and one that can swim when you were grabbed by her. At first she thought you were disturbing the tranquil of her seas but then she sees...her past self? She grows...disturbed seeing it and lets you go.

You try to tell her who you are, which she does listen but she can't help but flee quickly. Out of all the cookie you had to be when you came here, did it have to be her? She comes finds you eventually, despite her initial reaction, she's quick to help you swim around. She still feels...off seeing her past self but she knows it's not her. That "her" has long gone. It's only you know, and to be honest. She is honoured you had used her to represent yourself in the guild.

[rueclfer]

heyy there can i request some more touya headcannons? i really enjoy your way of picturing him because it’s just so canon and he’s kinda a lovely dick y’know. whatever comes to ur mind. thank u so much!!

weelll since you gave me so much freedom here r some touya as a housemate hcs ANNDD a moodboard bc i enjoy the visualization <3 since we talked abt this the other day too !! (i yapped so hard here sry sry this is so indulgent)

bakugou's and sero's version too hehe

housemates // touya todoroki

touya hates the idea of living with a complete stranger or one of his siblings, so what other option does he have other than forcing his best friend (crush) on a lease with him?

the newfound freedom definitely puts him on his ass for a few weeks. barely sleeps. eats like shit. trash is scattered everywhere. several unpacked boxes. it stays like this until fuyumi comes over to check our the place and gives you two a hard scolding to get your shit together.

more often than not, you'd end up waking up on the couch with your legs sprawled out across his lap and his upper half leaned over the couch arm rest in deep sleep. staying up so late was probably one of his favorite things about living together. being able to talk as loud as you wanted, watch movies late into the night, look over the city from your balcony- he found solitude in existing with you.

if he wasn't already codependent before moving in together, just know his ass will be GLUED TO YOU. you'd be doing work in your room and he'd barge in and flop down on your bed without a word. maybe he'd gotten a bit too comfortable.

if he's feeling extra annoying that day, he'd bring in his guitar and amp and keep asking you to rate his riffs until you entirely give up on work and give him some attention.

is it obvious his love language is quality time? not only that, gift giving too. he's like a fucking crow.

"look what i found. it's a rock. for you."

makes him soooo giddy to see your display of the rocks, feathers, and dried up flowers he picked up for you on his walk. sometimes you'd come home and there'd be a new addition to the ever growing collection.

ofc you'd return the energy in a different way. touya will not cook for himself. ever. he eats like shit as an internal rebellion against the healthy diet he was forced upon as a kid, but you will not allow that boy to rot himself from the inside out!! he can expect several tupperwares of portioned out meals with notes attached to the lids if you know he'd be home all day by himself.

"to t <3. if you don't eat every last bite i'll find out and it'll hurt my feelings and i might combust into flames or something idk don't risk it!"

i can also imagine him holding back tears whenever you ever come into his room to hand him a bowl of cut up fruit. the first time you do it he'd be speechless like jaw dropped taken aback. has he ever felt love like this??? i think not.

despite all of the kind gestures, he's still touya todoroki. hides your keys if you annoyed him that morning by rushing him in the bathroom and makes you a few minutes late to class/work. chronic door slammer. pisses with the door wide open. no sense of privacy and do not gaf to knock. always locking himself out -> i feel strongly about this like imagine coming home after a long day and he's sitting out in the hallway with a pouty face waiting for you hehehe.

i don't think he'd realize this crush until a few months after you've moved in together. how could he when you two practically already act and bicker like an old married couple?

yes- peanut butter belongs in the fridge. no- it doesn't. stop leaving your socks everywhere. you forget to flush again. stop slamming the doors. you ate my chips, didn't you? don't lie. did you really need to put the mugs up that high? (he does it on purpose, and tightens the lid to every jar too.)

it wasn't until one late evening when he comes home to find you frantically mixing a doughy substance in a large metal bowl. you never bake, but you have your own oven now, so why not?

"god, finally. help me, my arms hurt." you groan, shoving the bowl in his hands. "i think i fucked up."

he sees the hurricane aftermath of your kitchen- flour everywhere, egg shells left on the counter, every single jar imaginable opened and scattered around. he could be teasing you about the mess, but god you looked so beautiful with that stupid wrinkle in between your eyebrows as you read over the recipe, and the streaks of flour across your pant leg from wiping your hands, and the way you swipe away the stray pieces of hair falling in your face with the back of your hand- oh fuck.

he thinks he's falling in love with you.

he swallows it, but he starts acting kinda weird around the apartment.

like he's.... avoiding you?

living with his best friend whom he just so happens to develop a crush for, would eat him alive. he locks himself in his room and chain smoke out his window while he's stressing the fuck out. he told you he'd stop smoking, but he's sure you'd understand the need for it right now. he hopes you can't smell it.

i also think he'd be a stress cleaner lmaaoo he cannot sit still with his thoughts for too long, so the headphones are ON and blasting and he'll definitely use that as a scapegoat + the loud ass vacuum for ignoring you if you try to talk to him while he's on this cleaning frenzy.

you think he's sick LMAO imagine the pain he feels when you come knocking on his door and calling out that you're leaving a bowl of soup and cough medicine outside his door for him. he doesn't tell you that yeah he's sick but *not in that way*

lovesick. that boy is lovesick!!!!!!

how do you avoid your housemate while you figure out how to control your feelings?

he confesses via note that he leaves on the kitchen counter. really simple tbh nothing too extravagant, but he signs off by telling you that he's staying crashing at fuyumi's for a couple days.

you text him a string of obscenities to get his ass back home and he does (he's scared of you).

he CAANNOOTT talk about his feelings in an adult way. he is sitting on the complete opposite side of the couch, twiddling his thumbs, and staring down at his feet like a child while you reread his confession note out loud to him. you find his discomfort hilarious but endearing. he finds you unbearably insufferable.

jesus the amount of times in that apartment where he would storm off to his room whenever you two got in an argument or you pissed him off...old habits die hard, you guess, because this isn't the todoroki household anymore and you aren't scared to lose that deposit and kick a door down.

once you corner him and get him to open up about his feelings the air in the room suddenly shift!! the clouds are clearing and the sun is shining woooowww look at what good communication can do.

sharing an apartment with your BOYFRIEND is no different than sharing one with your best friend. i think he'd like to keep your separate bedrooms to have your own space, but you'll rarely sleep apart.

so! many! new! traditions!

helping him dye his hair on the first saturday of every month. biweekly horror movie marathons. counting the communal piggy bank ever couple months. trying new takeout spots until you find THE spot for every category- chinese, pizza, ramen, etc etc.

and finally, an everlasting mark on your first apartment together: a small carved out heart around your initials left on the inner corner of a kitchen cabinet done with his pocket knife on a random weekday evening while you two are cooking dinner together.

-

touya tag: @moonchild701 @kaldurahms-lover @themultifandomgirl @devilslittlehelper @porusuniverse @ratatellie @katbug37 @ggriwm

[tamayula-hl]

As of today, I will be closing the anonymous ask boxes on both Tumblr and Twitter. I'm truly grateful for all the messages I received over the past two years—thank you so much! 🙇‍♀️

YESSSSS Drawing such naughty material is my purpose in life! Someday I would like to draw this situation as a proper piece of work instead of just this doodle 😳😳💪🔥

Hehe, thank you! I'm very honored to receive such kind words 🙏🙇‍♀️ I'd like to continue creating various works as an account where I can draw whatever I want, however I want 🙌

言葉選びが本当に美しいですね！素晴らしい文章を見せてくれて本当にありがとう😍🙏🙏 独占欲の強いセバスチャンをもっとこれからも描いていきたいです💪💪💪

Here's the Japanese version I drew (https://archiveofourown.org/works/51781579/chapters/130912543)

And here's the translation by 87Percent! (Thank you again for the translation😭🙏💗) (https://archiveofourown.org/works/59388847/chapters/151455082)

And I've been trying to draw the story of SebxSakurako in English, but it's pretty difficult. I hope I can finish it someday…😳

I'm so relieved to hear you say that 😳🙏💗 I have lots of ideas for fluffy, happy stories, as well as tragic stories that are typical of "The Little Mermaid," so if I get the chance, I'd like to draw them again! 🌟 And besides the mermaid AU, I still have a lot of things I want to draw, both in pictures and stories, so I'm going to create a variety of different kinds of works from now on 💪💪💪

Awwww, thank you so much! I feel so happy to receive such a compliment😭🙏❤️‍🔥 I have an ambition to create more and more sophisticated works, so I will continue to study art and create many works about Seb and Omi💪💪💪

I'm honored to receive your kind words! 🙌🔥 And YESSSSSS, the girls' sleepover is something I've been wanting to draw for a long time! I usually only draw romances about Seb and Omi, but there are so many cute girls in HL, so I'm really interested to see what kind of sleepovers they and my MCs have! So I have to make a piece about it someday…💪💪😏

I was so late in replying that I ended up posting a picture of Seb "licking Sakurako in the morning" before my reply 🤣 Sorry for the late reply 🙇‍♀️ I still have a lot of NSFW works I want to draw about SebxSakurako right now, but spicy manga takes a really long time to make, so I'll take my time and make them when I have more time 💪🔥

I'm a little embarrassed to show you how I couldn't quite settle on my art style and was trying and failing in such an ugly way 😳🙈 But to receive such praise makes me feel like all my hard work was worth it. Thank you so much! 🌟 I've finally found the art style that I find easiest to draw, so I'm going to work hard to add some originality to this art style.

Lately I've been having so much fun drawing Ominis with messy hair that I tend to draw him like that, and I'm so happy that you liked it 💪🔥 I'd like to draw a manga someday with the main theme of how handsome Seb with messy hair is 💪

I'm so honored that you like my shameless NSFW work🤣💪❤️‍🔥 And that means cowgirl, right?! 😳😳😳 Of course, I'd like to draw Ominis x MC enjoying cowgirl position someday! I want to draw everything from the scene where MC is dominant and leading Ominis, to the scene where Ominis can't hold back and takes the initiative from MC…🙈

I'm so honored to receive such praise! Thank you so much! 💪😳😳 I plan to continue drawing plenty of shameless and vulgar manga🤣🔥

I think you can view all old works that have passwords by entering "YES" 🙏 All of my old works have poorer drawing skills than now, so it's a bit embarrassing to see them😳🙈❤️‍🔥

[zerocoded]

summary: arguments rise between the two of you, but what you don't know is that caleb would let you punch him how many times you wished.

authors note: i decided to split this in two because the word count was already pass 16k, so yeah. posting the smut in the next chapter! this sucks bc i don't know how to write happy characters, i'm so sorry. i wish you a happy reading! this series was supposed to be three chapters but now it's four, i hope you don't mind hehe, enjoy!

warnings: HEAVY ANGST • bad talk about ourselves again (booh) • doubts and feeling of betrayal and guilt • we get introspective all the time im sorry • MINOR INJURY • mentions of psychological and physical torture (in the past) • obsessive!caleb • UNCANNON bc i finished this before caleb release so this is the lore i created ok • hurt/comfort • THIS IS NOT A LIGHT READING, but i promise it'll get better next chapter

word count: 9.9k

the first time you see caleb after the incident┃caleb uses you as a hostage at the farspace fleet┃you're here┃caleb teaches you his love language

colonel caleb wore real gold on his uniform and carried a fire in his gaze. his steps were precise, almost mechanical, and his towering height commanded respect wherever he went. his voice never wavered, firm and unyielding, and any flaws he might have were buried beneath the weight of his presence. the insignias on his chest gleamed like silent declarations of victory, each one a testament to battles fought and won.

the metal where there should have been flesh and bone was a source of both mystery and awe to his subordinates. what might have seemed a reminder of pain to him—his bionic arm, a testament to his devotion—was, to others, a symbol of unyielding strength. even the faint hum of its servos as he moved carried an air of authority, a silent declaration that he had sacrificed and endured more than most could fathom.

but in the quiet of his own room, colonel caleb felt less like the commander everyone revered and more like the boy you had grown up with.

his height, which once seemed awe-inspiring, became almost comical in the simplicity of his surroundings. even though the entire space was designed to accommodate him—a luxury that often left you struggling with the proportions—he still seemed impossibly large as he moved around in a sleeveless shirt and sweatpants. if you closed your eyes, you could almost see a younger version of him—slightly shorter, a little less broad—fumbling around granny’s kitchen, trying to fix something for the two of you to eat before bed.

after you both got out of that conference room, caleb seemed recharged in a way that was impossible to ignore. despite the distance still lingering between you and the stark confusion of where you both now stood, caleb seemed brighter, lighter, as if the mere fact that you were sleeping in the room next to his was enough to bring him back to life.

that observation made you see him in a different light, made your resolve crack just enough for the resentment you’d been holding onto to soften by the end of the day. it was impossible to ignore how palpable his love for you was, woven into the very air of his chambers, clinging to every word he spoke and every glance he stole.

it left you feeling recklessly cherished. dangerously so.

the notion was both thrilling and unsettling—how much power you held over him, how much of himself he seemed willing to give just to keep you near. and with that realization, the suffocating weight that had pressed on your chest since the moment he appeared at your front door in linkon city five days ago began to ease, just a little. it was still there, still sharp and heavy, but the edges had softened with the knowledge that, in some inexplicable way, you had always been his anchor.

since the false interrogation he’d orchestrated, caleb had taken to sleeping on the sofa, giving you the bed without question. you often woke to find him there, sprawled in uncomfortable positions that looked at odds with his commanding presence during the day. his sacrifice was unspoken, like so many of his gestures—a quiet, steady offering of himself to make you feel safe. 

his voice carried a tender, teasing lilt every time he spoke to you, as if he couldn’t help but let his affection seep into his words, smoothing the sharp edges of the bluntness that a few days ago defined him.

in a way, you couldn’t decide if you were grateful—or terrified—to be the center of this man’s world.

you had experienced something you hadn’t in years: the giddiness you were often reproved for as a child. it crept up on you in the quiet moments—the teasing glint in caleb’s eye, his sharp wit, the way he quirked an eyebrow when he was trying to get a rise out of you. his funny remarks and old quirks, things you thought you’d forgotten entirely, came rushing back, leaving you disarmed.

you found yourself laughing at things you hadn’t noticed were funny, smiling in ways you hadn’t realized you still could. the sense of euphoria was intoxicating, almost overwhelming. it burned through the shadows of doubt that had lingered since you arrived, leaving you to wonder if caleb’s presence—his persistence, his warmth—was the very thing you needed to feel whole again. 

but that wasn’t all. caleb had made it his mission to spend every waking second with you now, as if making amends for the two days he left you alone when you first arrived at skyhaven. he cooked for you—something he didn’t have time for before. his presence became tangible in ways it hadn’t been in years. he started tagging you along for his tasks outside the dorms, immersing you in the controlled chaos of his world.

every time you asked a question, his answers were immediate, clear, and unguarded. every time you wished for something, he set his mind to making it happen. just that morning, when you wondered aloud how daa pilots coordinated emergency landings so precisely, he’d whisked you away to the base, brimming with enthusiasm, to show you the mechanics of their operations. he even placed you inside a trainer aircraft, insisting you try it out—his face lighting up like a proud instructor—only relenting when your panicked pleas got you safely back on the ground.

he almost sounded like a nerd when he explained things, which you found oddly endearing. familiar.

even in moments of uncertainty and vulnerability, caleb remained steadfast. his decision to confine you to his chambers during the first two days—something that had frustrated and angered you—still lingered in your mind as an unfair choice. yet, he never hovered. instead, he occupied himself with tasks in the background, always ready to comfort you if needed but careful not to suffocate you. as if he understood that no amount of effort could undo the hurtful choices that had brought you both to this point.

the storm of emotions from your first 72 hours here in skyhaven still stole the air from your lungs during the nights, leaving you gasping in a silence that felt too loud. you cried yourself to sleep with an ache that defied words, an emptiness that gnawed at your chest and refused to let go. it wasn’t just the weight of what you had learned—it was the crushing realization that so much of your life had been shaped by truths you never knew, by choices made for you without your consent.

caleb noticed everything. he noticed how your showers stretched on endlessly, the way the sound of running water masked the quiet sobs you thought you could hide. he saw how your eyes darted away from his when the weight of his gaze felt too much to bear. the way your hand would unconsciously clutch at your chest, as if holding yourself together, as if your heart might betray you if you let it go.

he never mentioned it. not once. his silence wasn’t dismissive; it was deliberate, as though he understood that words could only do so much. instead, he stayed close—close enough that you could feel the steady presence of him, grounding you when you felt like you might unravel. but he never pushed. he let you have your space, retreating to the far corners of the room or busying himself with tasks that gave you room to breathe. 

one night, when the weight of it all became too much, you broke. the tears came suddenly, unstoppable, as if they’d been waiting for this exact moment to escape. you didn’t even try to hide them this time, your body trembling as you sat on the edge of the bed, clutching your knees to your chest.

caleb was there before you could even process his movement, his warmth engulfing you as he pulled you into his arms. his grip was firm but gentle, like he was holding something fragile. he didn’t say anything at first, just rocked you slightly, his breath steady and grounding against the chaos in your mind.

when the murmurs started, they were soft, barely audible over the sound of your sobs. “i’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice rough and full of something that made your chest ache even more. “i’m so, so sorry, princess. i know. i know.”

his lips brushed against your forehead, lingering there for a moment before moving to your hair, your temple, your ear—soft, fleeting touches that carried an apology too big for words. you felt his chest shudder beneath your cheek, and it took you a moment to realize that his breaths were uneven.

caleb was crying too.

his words, his presence, the steady beat of his heart against your ear—it all worked together to chip away at the walls you’d built around yourself. you didn’t know how long you stayed like that, the two of you wrapped in each other, but eventually, exhaustion won. your sobs quieted, your breathing evened out, and before you knew it, sleep took you.

the next morning, he didn’t bring it up. instead, his apologies came in other ways.

he made you breakfast without a word, setting the plate down in front of you before retreating to clean up the kitchen. when you needed a moment alone, he gave it without question, hovering just close enough to remind you that you weren’t truly alone.

it didn’t fix everything, not by a long shot. but it was a start. and for now, that was enough.

caleb’s quiet determination to make things right showed in ways he didn’t even realize. but for all his efforts to rebuild the fragile connection between you, there were moments when his own vulnerability slipped through the cracks.

the first time you truly saw his bionic arm—not just his hand but as an undeniable reality—was one of those moments. it wasn’t something he wanted you to see.

you caught glimpses when he wasn’t looking, stealing moments to trace his body with your eyes, searching for the details you still weren’t used to. it was as though he wore it like a symbol of his own ruin when in front of you, a quiet badge of loss. he always hid it beneath long sleeves as if punishing himself for its existence.

the only time he didn’t—when necessity gave way to something more human—was on the first morning after the investigation episode. unable to bear staying in the bed that smelled so much like him, you’d wandered into the kitchen, drawn by the soft clatter of pans and the faint smell of food. and there he was, standing by the stove in a sleeveless white shirt, his bionic arm fully exposed for the first time.

at first, you hadn’t noticed it, your groggy mind too focused on the surreal sight of him cooking breakfast. but when his eyes met yours, everything shifted. his posture stiffened, and his entire demeanor changed, as if you had caught him in a moment of weakness. the confidence he usually carried so effortlessly vanished, replaced by a flash of vulnerability so stark it made your chest tighten. it was as if your gaze alone had stripped him bare, as if you weren’t supposed to see him this way.

as if he didn’t want you to see him this way.

he turned his body slightly, instinctively shielding the metal limb from view. the movement was subtle, almost imperceptible, but you noticed. it was in the way he avoided your eyes after that, focusing too intently on flipping the eggs in the pan, his silence louder than any words could be. it was in the way his shoulders tensed, betraying the emotions he wouldn’t let surface.

you let it go for now, though the image stayed with you, lingering like an unanswered question.

it was your sixth day in skyhaven. yesterday evening had been spent making phone calls to friends and colleagues, reassuring them after your sudden disappearance. you’d explained the situation to everyone who mattered, carefully crafting the details to sound less alarming than they truly were. but one call had remained undone—zayne. the reasons for not dialing his number sat heavy on your chest, unspoken and hard to name. but you left it at that.

the sight of caleb cooking should’ve felt mundane by now, honestly. you’d seen him shirtless more times than you could count, growing up together had ensured that. you both had been at the mercy of puberty and hormones, awkwardness softened by familiarity. but something about the way he stood now, his presence so certain yet so quietly domestic, struck you differently. 

it was a stark contrast to the lean boy who used to tease and prod at your attention; now, caleb stood tall and broad in front of the stove, his muscles shifting with precision as he moved, every action pulling a reaction from you—a warmth that crept into your cheeks as a flashback of your first kiss in your apartment left you momentarily off balance.

all the thinking and pondering you’d done over the past three days hadn’t wavered the anger simmering inside you—not yet. caleb might have also been a victim, but he wasn’t innocent in the slightest. his choices, no matter how well-intentioned, had left scars on you that you couldn’t ignore. and you’d finally decided how to deal with it.

you were going to punch him.

in the face, preferably.

it wasn’t the most rational plan, but it was the only way you could see to start letting go of the frustration and rage that had been building inside you. you could start your healing journey from there. but first, you needed this. he had faked his death, left you to mourn him alone. if that didn’t earn him a solid right hook, what would?

so you stood in the doorway of his bathroom, your fists clenching and unclenching at your sides, watching caleb move around the kitchen like he belonged there. his back was to you, broad and steady, muscles shifting under his skin with every precise movement. his bionic arm rested at his side, but you refused to let your gaze linger on it—it wasn’t the time.

he glanced over his shoulder, offering you a small, warm smile. “morning,” he said casually, as if the weight of the last few days hadn’t fractured something between you.

and then you saw it—that small, almost imperceptible movement. the way he shifted slightly to hide the metal limb from your line of sight, as if shielding himself from judgment he thought he might find in your eyes. the gesture was subtle, but it struck you like a spark to dry tinder, igniting a fire that had been smoldering in your chest.

why did he keep doing that? why did he act like he had to hide from you? as if you were the one who couldn’t accept what he’d become, when he was the one who had shattered your world?

the tick of irritation swelled into something sharper, something more visceral. you stepped into the room, your movements slow but deliberate, the sound of your footsteps catching his attention.

“why do you do that?” you asked, your voice low but edged with something brittle.

his brow furrowed, his eyes flicking to you as he turned, uncertain. “do what?”

“this,” you said, gesturing toward his arm. “you keep hiding it. like you think i care about that more than everything else you’ve done.”

his expression shifted, a flicker of something—shame, maybe—crossing his face before he looked away, focusing on the pan in front of him. “it’s not that simple, pipsqueak” he said, his voice quieter now, guarded.

“no, it’s not,” you shot back, stepping closer. “nothing about this is simple. but you don’t get to act like you’re the only one carrying this weight.”

his grip on the spatula tightened, his jaw clenching, but he didn’t respond. that silence, that calm restraint, only made your anger boil over.

“you don’t get to hide, caleb,” you said, your voice rising. “not from me. not after everything you’ve put me through.”

he turned then, fully facing you, his expression hard but not unkind. “what is it with the lashing out just now? i’m not hiding,” he said evenly. “i just—”

“you just what?” you interrupted, stepping closer still. “you just thought it’d be easier to let me think you were dead? to leave me to grieve while you played hero for people who didn’t even care about you?”

his eyes widened, the calm facade he usually wore cracking just enough to show the vulnerability underneath. “i—i told you i’m sorry,” he said, his voice quiet but edged with something raw. “i explained my reasons at the time, it was not like that”

you almost felt pity for him—almost. but the ache in your chest, the anger clawing at your throat, wouldn’t let you soften. not yet.

“then what was it like, caleb?” you demanded, your voice trembling with the weight of your frustration. “because from where i’m standing, it looks a hell of a lot like betrayal.”

the words hung heavy in the air, the silence between you thick with tension. you could feel your chest tightening, the storm of emotions swirling inside you threatening to spill over.

and then, without thinking, you took a step forward and swung your fist. your knuckles connected with his jaw, the force of the punch sending a sharp jolt up your arm, but it wasn’t like you weren’t used to fight wanderers by yourself. he stumbled back a step, his hand flying to his face as his eyes widened in shock.

caleb had expected it—not like this, not right now—but the moment your fist collided with his jaw, a strange sense of inevitability settled over him. he let out a sharp breath, his fingers brushing against the tender spot where your punch had landed. the sting was immediate, but it was nothing compared to the ache that had been simmering inside him for days.

he stayed still for a moment, the weight of your anger washing over him like a tide he’d been bracing for but never truly prepared to face. you were trembling, chest heaving, your knuckles still clenched as if you were debating whether to hit him again. 

caleb straightened slowly, his jaw throbbing as he met your gaze. 

the room was silent, save for your ragged breathing and the faint sound of the pan sizzling on the stove.

for a moment, you thought he might lash out, might yell or demand an explanation. but instead, he let out a soft, incredulous laugh, his lips curving into a faint smirk.

“you’ve got a hell of a punch, pipsqueak” he said, his voice tinged with amusement, though his eyes still carried that familiar weight.

“don’t,” you said sharply, your fists still clenched at your sides. “don’t laugh this off. don’t pretend like you didn’t deserve it.”

his smirk faded, replaced by something softer, more serious. “you’re right,” he said quietly. “i did.”

those words took the wind out of you, leaving you standing there, unsure of what to do next. the anger that had driven you moments ago was still there, but it felt different now—muted, as if the act of hitting him had let some of it go.

“feel better?” he asked, his tone light but not mocking, hand still holding his jaw.

but his calmness, his ability to shrug off what you’d done as if it were nothing, only made something inside you snap. “no,” you said sharply, your voice trembling. “no, i don’t feel better. because none of this changes anything, caleb. none of this fixes what you did.”

he watched you quietly, his expression steady, patient. that calmness—the same calmness you’d once found reassuring—now felt like a wall you couldn’t break through. it only fueled the storm building inside you.

“you left me,” you said, your voice rising as your emotions spilled out, unchecked. “you lied to me throughout all my life, you should’ve told me something, should’ve… i don’t know!”

his lips parted as if to respond, but you didn’t give him the chance.

“and then you show up again—alive, bigger than life, barking me orders as if i was a stranger to you. you think you can just apologize and everything will go back to how it was? do you have any idea how much you broke me?”

your voice cracked on the last words, and the tears you’d been holding back threatened to spill. you stepped closer to him, your fists pounding weakly against his chest, frustration and grief bubbling over. “i should hate you forever, caleb.”

he didn’t move, didn’t stop you, his hands hovering at his sides as if he wasn’t sure whether he was allowed to touch you. not when your words sounded so heavy.

"god," you felt your voice crack and tears started forming on your eyes.

caleb wasn’t allowed to say anything but, “i’m sorry,” he said softly, his voice breaking under the weight of his words. “i’m so sorry.”

“stop saying that!” you cried, your voice rising in a mixture of anger and desperation. “sorry doesn’t fix this. it doesn’t fix us, you asshole!”

your fists hit his chest again, harder this time, and he caught your wrists, gently but firmly. “i know,” he said, his voice steady now. “but it’s all i have. it’s all i can give you right now, princess.”

his grip loosened, and before you could pull away, he wrapped his arms around you, drawing you close. “i’m so sorry,” he murmured again, his voice low and heavy with emotion. “i know i hurt you. i know i can’t fix it overnight. but i swear, i’ll spend the rest of my life trying if you let me.”

his words broke something inside you, and the tears finally spilled over. you buried your face against his chest, sobbing openly as his arms tightened around you. his hand rested on the back of your head, cradling you gently as if he were afraid you might shatter completely.

“don’t give up on me,” he whispered, his voice raw. “i’ll be okay if you hate me forever, as long as you’re happy. that’s all that matters.”

“don’t say things like that,” you choked out, your voice muffled against him. “don’t be so dependent on me. you’re a dick.”

his arms around you tensed for a moment before loosening, his breath brushing the top of your head. “i’m trying not to be,” he murmured, his tone so soft it felt like a confession. “but you’re the only thing that kept me steady until now, Y/N. the only thing that makes me feel like… like i’m still human.”

his words struck you, sharp and raw, cutting through the haze of your emotions. you pulled back just enough to look at him, your eyes meeting his. “caleb…” you started, but you didn’t know what to say, how to piece together the whirlwind in your chest into anything coherent.

he gave you a small, almost broken smile, his hand brushing a strand of hair from your face. “i don’t mean to put that on you. i know it’s not fair, and i don’t want you to feel like you have to carry me too. but… i just need you to know that you matter. more than anything.”

“you can’t do that,” you said, your voice trembling. “you can’t put me on this pedestal. it’s not right. it’s not fair to either of us.”

“i know,” he said again, his voice cracking slightly. “but you’re not on a pedestal. you’re… you’re home. and that’s not something i can turn off, pipsqueak.”

fuck. why did he sound so broke too?

you pulled back slightly, wiping at your face as you looked up at him. his eyes were red-rimmed, tears threatening to fall but never quite spilling over. it was the most vulnerable you’d ever seen him.

he glanced down at his bionic arm, flexing the fingers absently before letting it rest at his side. “i hate this thing,” he said suddenly, his voice low and quiet. “it’s a constant reminder of when i hurt you the most.”

you frowned, confused. “caleb…”

“ever wanted me to lose more than this arm,” he continued, his tone growing darker. “they wanted me… broken. half of my body was supposed to be destroyed in their ‘plan.’ they thought they could control me better that way. make me more… dependent.”

your stomach churned at his words. “why didn’t you tell me? why do you keep hiding it from me?”

he shook his head, looking away. “i’ve already put you through enough. i didn’t want to burden you with this.”

it was strange how the weight of forgiveness didn’t feel like a single, decisive moment. it wasn’t a clean break or a sudden realization; it was more like erosion—a gradual softening of the jagged edges of anger, resentment, and grief. it was in the quiet moments, like now, when his voice was stripped of its usual command, when he stumbled over his words, when his walls came down just enough for you to see the pain he carried. it made you question your own anger, not because it wasn’t valid, but because holding onto it felt heavier than letting it go.

"but i want to know," you pressed, your voice trembling. "i need to understand, caleb. i need to know what they did to you. i need to understand why."

forgiving him didn’t mean forgetting what he’d done. it didn’t erase the nights you’d cried yourself to sleep, the hollow ache of mourning someone who wasn’t really gone. but it meant acknowledging that he’d suffered too, that his choices—terrible as they were—had been born from a place of love and desperation. of obsession.

as much as you wanted to cling to your anger, you couldn’t ignore the cracks forming in its foundation. his actions, his words—they chipped away at your defenses, forcing you to see the pain he carried. and in those moments, you realized that forgiveness wasn’t about absolving him of what he’d done. it was about freeing yourself from the weight of it. it was about choosing to let go, not for him, but for you. because holding onto that anger wasn’t just hurting him—it was hurting you too.

his jaw tightened, his teeth grinding together as he finally looked at you. his eyes were dark, stormy, filled with something that looked too much like shame. "it’s too much," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "it’s graphic, and cruel, and i can’t… i fucking can’t make you see me like that, Y/N."

"i already see you, caleb," you countered, stepping closer still, voice cracking over something close to desperation. "i see the way you try to protect yourself by being harsh towards everyone, the way you tense up when you think no one’s looking. i see how much pain you’re in, and i see how hard you’re trying to hide it. you don’t have to protect me from this. don’t keep lying to me, i beg you."

he let out a sharp, bitter laugh, his hand running through his hair in frustration. "you don’t have to beg for anything when it comes to me, princess," he said, his voice breaking slightly. "it’s not about protecting you. it’s about not giving you more reasons to hate me, do you understand? ever was shit to both of us, they still are."

"i don’t hate you," you said quickly, your voice firm. "i’m angry, yes. i’m hurt. but i don’t hate you, caleb. sometimes i wish i could."

his eyes softened, but the anguish in them didn’t fade. "i don’t want to fucking trigger you, princess, just let it go," he said, his voice dropping to a near whisper, flesh hand running through his brown locks in a dismissive act. he took a step back and turned to the stove, turning the fire off while avoiding your gaze.

“i can’t forgive you if you keep hiding these things.” you crossed your arms, looking at his posture, “if i thought i couldn’t handle, i wouldn’t be asking you this right now. why did you let them do it?”.

he shook his head, his hands coming up to cover his face. "you have no idea," he said, his voice breaking again. "the limits i’d go to for you. the things i’d endure. i’d let them do it all over again if it meant you’d be safe. i’d let them tear me apart piece by piece, because i—" he stopped, his hands dropping to his sides as he looked at you with an intensity that made your chest tighten, as if just imagining his devotion was already physically exhausting. "because i love you. so much it terrifies me."

he looked away again, his jaw clenching as his fingers flexed at his sides. you wondered for a second if he expected to hear those words in return one day.

"princess, i just don’t want to drag you into something you can’t unhear. something that’ll stick in your head and haunt you the way it does me.” breakfast long gone, he turned to the counter and leaned his weight on it, crossing his arms over his chest.

"but that’s not fair," you pressed, stepping closer, your voice softer now but no less determined. "you keep everything locked up inside, like you should be this invincible man. i want to know. you don’t have to protect me from this, for fuck's sake."

his shoulders sagged, a bitter laugh escaping his lips as he rubbed his hand over his face. "you think i’m protecting you?" he asked, his voice low and pained. "i’m protecting me, princess. because if i see that look in your eyes—the one that says you pity me, or worse, that you’re scared of me—i don’t think i can handle that. not from you."

you reached out to touch his arm. "i’m not scared of you. and i’m not going to pity you. just fucking tell me already."

his gaze dropped to the floor for a moment, the silence between you thick and heavy.

he shook his head, his bionic fingers twitching as his hands curled into fists. "they broke me, okay?" he said, his voice raw and trembling as if his patience were running thin from your persistence. "they strapped me down, cut me open while i was still awake just to see how much i could take. and i took it, all of it, because i thought if i didn’t, they’d turn to you instead. and the fucked-up part? i was willing to let them do it again if it meant you were safe."

your breath hitched, the vividness of his confession slicing through you like a blade.

“this arm,” he points and looks at it, “it has to go through repair oftenly, it hurts like a bitch, the electric current, everything… they keep increasing the power every time i go there.”

"do you know what it’s like to hear them talk about you like you’re a bargaining chip?" he continued, his voice rising slightly, anger and despair mingling in his tone. "to know they saw you as leverage, something they will certain have on the future? i couldn’t let that happen. so i let them do whatever they wanted to me, make me stronger. and yeah, it hurt. but it was nothing compared to the thought of fucking losing you, Y/N."

you swallowed hard, tears prickling at your eyes as his words sank in. "you shouldn’t have had to make that choice," you said, your voice shaking. "it wasn’t your responsibility to protect me like that. gran should’ve… she shouldn’t have put that on a child."

"but it was," he insisted, his voice firm despite the emotion cracking through it. "it’s always been my responsibility. ever since we were kids, i promised myself i’d keep you safe. and i failed you once—i’m not failing you again."

was granny josephine truly blameless, or had she knowingly set these events in motion? had she purposefully placed caleb in harm’s way, using the innocent, budding love he had for you as a tool to safeguard her fears and protect her secrets? had she manipulated his loyalty as a child, planting seeds that would root so deeply they’d shape his entire existence?

the silence that followed was thick, heavy with unspoken emotions. you stepped closer, your hand finding his and squeezing gently. "you didn’t fail me," you said softly, your voice breaking. "you’d died for me more than once, that’s already too fucking much, caleb."

his patience made you wonder: how many times had caleb carried this same burden? how many nights had he endured this same hollow ache you have been feeling these past few days, but without someone by his side to share it with?

did he ever feel alone? did he feel the crushing isolation when cruel people, hidden behind the guise of scientists, broke and prodded at his skin? when they searched for cracks in his mind, trying to shatter him into pieces so irreparable that the boy he once was could never return? had he felt the same suffocating weight you carried now—the weight of being someone else’s creation? of knowing that your very existence was shaped by murderous intent and corruptive minds, calling your body their experiment?

ever hadn’t succeeded in making him a servant—he told you that—, but hadn’t they almost gotten there? hadn’t they stripped away enough of his humanity to leave him standing like this, a shadow of the boy you once knew?

he looked at you then, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. "i don’t deserve your forgiveness," he said, his voice barely audible.

"you may not deserve it," you began, your voice trembling slightly, "but i think i want to give it to you anyway." the words felt fragile, like they might shatter under their own weight. you looked at his bionic arm, its polished surface catching the light, and noticed the way his jaw tensed, just barely. he didn’t say anything, but the tension in the air told you he was bracing himself, waiting for whatever came next.

you also expected him to say something, to break the tension that hung in the air, but the silence stretched so long it began to feel awkward. just as you were about to open your mouth and fill the void with some kind of sentence—or at least an acknowledgment of what had just happened—you saw him grimace slightly, his hand coming up to palm his left cheek.

oh. right. you had hit him. you’d almost forgotten.

"oh shit, i’m sorry," you blurted, guilt suddenly surging up as you watched him rub his cheek.

but he waved it off, not even glancing your way. "don’t worry, princess," he said, his voice casual, though there was a faint edge to it. "i’ll finish breakfast and put some ice on it."

"are you sure?" you asked hesitantly, your guilt gnawing at you.

he nodded, finally meeting your eyes. "yeah, I’m sure. it’s not the first time i’ve been hit, and it won’t be the last."

there was an odd kind of amusement in his tone, but it didn’t do much to ease your discomfort.

"do you want something else to eat? the eggs are probably cold by now," he added, gesturing vaguely toward the pan on the counter, his tone shifting back to the calm, measured one you were used to.

you didn’t know what to say, the words catching in your throat. everything about the moment felt strange, like you were navigating a space you didn’t fully understand. "no, i’m fine," you murmured, your voice softer than you intended. "i’ll… i’ll eat later. i think i want to take a shower first."

his gaze lingered on you for a moment, unreadable, before he gave a small nod. "take your time, princess," he said, turning his attention back to the stove. 

you nodded awkwardly, already stepping back toward the door. the guilt and confusion swirling in your chest made your movements feel clumsy, uncoordinated. you needed a moment to yourself, away from his steady presence and the weight of everything unsaid between you. a shower sounded like the perfect escape.

that morning, you skipped breakfast. instead, you locked yourself in his room—ironic, wasn’t it?—and spent the hours replaying the moment over and over again in your head. the sound of your fist connecting with his jaw, the way he stumbled back, the stunned look in his eyes.

his words, your words—they lingered, looping in your mind like a broken record. every syllable from that morning carried a weight you hadn’t anticipated, carving deeper into your already-frayed emotions. you could still hear the way his voice had trembled, how it softened in places you didn’t expect. and the way yours had cracked, betraying the storm you were trying so hard to contain.

you hated that you couldn’t let it go. that you kept picking apart every second of the exchange, trying to find something you missed, some meaning hidden between the lines. 

the shower ended up lasting an embarrassing thirty-five minutes, and by the time you got out, your skin felt like it was starting to peel. turns out, skyhaven’s technology was far more advanced and exclusive than linkon’s. their residents had access to countless showers and sinks with customizable settings and precise temperature controls.

despite everything, you couldn’t help but enjoy every second of these little luxuries. you found yourself wondering if caleb might let you take some of his fancy dermatology products back to linkon with you.

by the time you got out, you remembered that caleb had mentioned during yesterday’s lunch that skyhaven would soon begin its monthly isolation week—a period where all soldiers and officers were confined to their bedchambers. it was a precautionary measure, meant to ensure that the magnetic fields and protocores keeping the island afloat remained stable and resistant to any potential failures. 

the thought of spending the upcoming period together in isolation left you with an unexpected wave of embarrassment gnawing at your mind. 

your fingers curled into the sheets as you sat on the edge of his bed, your mind a whirlwind of guilt and uncertainty. after your prolonged shower, the scene of the punch replayed endlessly in your head. you’d gone over every detail, from the sharp crack of your knuckles against his jaw to the stunned look in his eyes. had you taken it too far?

if you were going to spend the next seven days confined in this dorm with him, wouldn’t it be better to try to make amends? the tension already felt unbearable, and avoiding him would only stretch it further. you needed to face him, didn’t you?

your gaze flicked toward the door, hesitation pulling at you. you’d skipped breakfast to dodge the awkwardness, telling yourself you needed time to sort through your own emotions. but now, the thought of him sitting alone in the kitchen, nursing a bruised jaw and left to wonder about your silence, made your stomach twist. he deserved some sort of explanation—or, at the very least, acknowledgment of what you’d done.

“he’s fine,” you told yourself, standing abruptly and pacing the room. “he’s a soldier. he’s been through worse.”

but the image of his expression—the way his eyes softened, almost tender, when he said, “i did”—refused to leave your mind. 

you felt like you were going crazy. for six days, emotions like confusion, guilt, regret, anger, and love had taken turns coursing through your body, leaving you utterly whiplashed. every time you thought you had a handle on one, another would rear its head, demanding to be felt. it was exhausting.

in the last three days, caleb hadn’t been anything but kind to you. he’d gone out of his way to make you feel comfortable, to give you space when you needed it, and to be there when you didn’t. his words, his actions—everything he’d done had been soaked in care.

“pipsqueak?” caleb’s voice came through the door, soft but clear, pulling you out of your spiraling thoughts. “can i come in? you didn’t eat breakfast, so i brought some fruit.”

your heart leapt into your throat, and for a moment, you froze, unsure of what to do. 

was he reading your mind?

“o-oh, it’s okay,” you stammered, grimacing at how shaky you sounded. “i’m not hungry.”

there was a pause, followed by the low rumble of his laugh. it wasn’t mocking, but it carried that familiar teasing edge that made your stomach twist. “please,” he said, his tone amused. “you’re always hungry. that hasn’t changed, has it?”

you swallowed hard, your eyes darting to the door as if it might give you an answer. what was he doing? why was he being so normal? like nothing had happened? you both basically confessed your undeniable pull towards each other a few hours ago, and now he was out here laughing about your appetite.

“i’m really fine,” you said, forcing your voice to steady. “you don’t have to—”

“too late,” he interrupted, the doorknob jiggling slightly. “i’m coming in.”

panic surged through you. “wait!” you blurted, stepping toward the door instinctively. “i’m—uh—I’m not decent!”

there was a pause, and then his voice, lower but undeniably amused, came through the door again. ��you’ve said that before. pretty sure it was a lie then too.”

your face heated at the memory, and you clenched your fists, both at him and at yourself for reacting this way. why couldn’t he just leave you alone for five minutes to figure out what the hell you were feeling?

“caleb,” you said, your tone sharp but shaky, “just—give me a minute, okay?”

another pause. “fine,” he said, his voice softer now. “but i’m not leaving until you eat something. deal?”

you huffed, running towards the door and fixing your hair. “deal.”

before you could change your mind, the door clicked open. caleb stepped inside, balancing a plate of sliced fruit in one hand and a small ice pack pressed against his cheek in the other. he was shirtless, his bionic arm fully exposed, the metal catching the light as he moved. it was the first time he hadn’t tried to hide it from you, and the sight made your stomach twist in a way you couldn’t quite explain.

you barely registered the plate of fruit before your eyes caught on the bruise forming along his jaw. your fist had left a mark—faint, but undeniably there. guilt flooded your chest, your earlier resolve crumbling.

“hi,” he said, his voice laced with a teasing lilt as his gaze shifted to you. his lips curved into a smirk, his eyes glinting with amusement. “nice shirt, by the way.”

you glanced down, realizing with a jolt that you opted to put one of his shirts after the shower, the fabric oversized and hanging loose on your frame. your cheeks heated instantly.

“i—it was just comfortable,” you stammered, tugging at the hem as if that would somehow make it less obvious. “don’t read into it.”

he chuckled, stepping further into the room and setting the plate down on the nearest surface. “oh, i’m not,” he said lightly, though the smirk never left his face. “but if you want to borrow more, just let me know.”

your embarrassment shifted into a mix of irritation and concern as your eyes darted back to the ice pack on his cheek. “what happened to not leaving until i ate?” you said, trying to deflect as you stepped closer.

“still holding you to that,” he replied, his tone playful but soft.

but you weren’t paying attention to his words anymore. your gaze was fixed on the faint purpling of his jaw, the guilt clawing its way back to the surface. without thinking, you reached out, your fingers brushing against his face as you gently turned it to get a better look.

“does it hurt?” you asked, your voice quieter now, the concern threading through your words catching even you off guard.

caleb stilled under your touch, his gaze steady on you as you inspected the bruise. “not really,” he said, his voice softer than you expected. “i’ve had worse.”

you frowned, ignoring his attempt to downplay it. “you’re not supposed to just brush it off,” you muttered, your thumb lightly grazing the edge of the bruise. “i shouldn’t have—”

“hey,” he interrupted, his voice gentle. he reached up with his flesh hand, carefully wrapping it around yours and pulling it away from his face. “don’t do that. don’t feel bad.”

you blinked at him, caught off guard. “i was expecting you to be mad,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. “i thought you’d yell at me, or… i don’t know, something.”

he laughed softly, shaking his head. “why would i be mad? i deserved it.”

“you keep saying that,” you said, pulling your hand free and stepping back. “but why? why do you think you deserved it?”

he sighed, his expression softening as he leaned back against the table. “because i’ve been waiting for you to hit me since the fake interrogation. hell, i was starting to get worried when you didn’t.”

“worried?” you repeated, your brows knitting together. “why?”

he hesitated, as if weighing how much to say, before meeting your gaze again. “because the girl i grew up with wouldn’t have let me get away with half the crap i’ve done,” he said simply. “she’d have punched me the second she saw me.”

his words hit you harder than you expected, a strange mix of emotions welling up in your chest. “well,” you said after a moment, your voice softer now, “maybe she’s not the same girl anymore.”

he smiled at that, the kind of smile that carried a weight you couldn’t quite name. “maybe,” he said quietly. “but she’s still in there. i see her every time you look at me like i’ve done something stupid. every time you call me out on my bullshit. and i’m glad she’s still here.”

you didn’t know how to respond to that, the raw honesty in his words leaving you momentarily speechless. instead, you looked down at the plate of fruit he’d brought, your fingers brushing against the edge.

“fine,” you said, your voice still quiet but steady. “i’ll eat.”

his smile widened, a hint of relief flickering in his eyes. “good,” he said. “because i wasn’t kidding about not leaving until you did.”

you rolled your eyes, but there was no real bite to it. as you picked up a piece of fruit, you couldn’t help but glance at him again, the bruise on his jaw and the faint smile on his lips making your chest ache in a way you weren’t ready to name.

the room settled into a quiet rhythm as you nibbled on the fruit caleb had brought, the faint rustling of his movements behind you blending into the soft hum of skyhaven's faint mechanical undertones. he had settled onto the bed at some point, the ice pack still pressed lightly against his cheek.

you didn’t look up at first, focused on the sweet tang of the fruit and the thoughts circling your head. when you finally did glance over, you saw him lying back against the cushions, his large frame sprawled out comfortably across the bed. it struck you—how long had it been since he rested properly? since he allowed himself this kind of moment?

there was something oddly humanizing about the sight of him now. his broad chest rose and fell with steady breaths, his muscles visibly relaxed beneath the glow of the dim room lighting. his eyes were closed, and for the first time since you’d arrived at skyhaven, he looked… content.

his bionic arm rested on the bed, unmoving, and yet it seemed a part of him in a way it hadn’t before. the faint light caught the edges of the metal, highlighting the intricate details of its design. you noticed the tension that usually coiled through his shoulders was gone now, replaced by an unfamiliar ease.

you wondered, as the silence stretched between you, how the two of you had gone through so much in just one week. grief, anger, guilt, and even flickers of something softer—it felt like a lifetime had been compressed into the span of days.

just as you were sinking deeper into your thoughts, his voice broke the quiet. “did you call zayne?”

you blinked, the question catching you off guard as you chewed the last piece of fruit. you swallowed quickly before answering. he probably heard you talking to your friends yesterday.

“not actually. i still don’t know what to tell him.”

he shifted slightly, turning his head to look at you. “why not?” his tone was calm, curious rather than accusatory.

“it’s… complicated,” you admitted, setting the plate down on the desk beside you. “zayne’s always been logical, rational. and this? this is anything but that. you were his friend too so…”

he seemed to consider that, his gaze lingering on you for a moment before he sighed and leaned back into the cushions. “did he comment on anything from my… from the explosion?” his words were careful, almost hesitant, as if he was testing the waters.

you hesitated, unsure if he was fishing for something deeper or just looking for updates on zayne. the memory of zayne handing you the documents—grandma josephine’s documents—flashed through your mind.

“not much,” you said eventually, your tone thoughtful. “he just gave me the documents grandma left with him. said she wanted me to have them. after that, he helped me deal with… everything else. the grief, mostly.”

caleb nodded slowly, his expression unreadable. “he always was good at that,” he murmured, almost to himself.

you tilted your head, studying him. “why ask now?”

his lips quirked into the faintest smile, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “i guess i’ve just been wondering… how much he knew. if he ever blamed me, or if he…” he trailed off, his voice growing quieter, “if he thought i could’ve done more.”

“zayne didn’t blame you,” you said softly, the certainty in your voice surprising even yourself. “he never said anything like that. he just… he cared. about both of us. since always.”

caleb’s shoulders relaxed a little at your words, the tension easing from his frame. he let out a long breath, his eyes closing again. “that sounds like him.”

the comfortable silence returned, but this time, it felt heavier with unspoken thoughts. you stayed where you were, watching the way his breathing steadied, his face softening in a way that felt so achingly familiar.

caleb sat up from the bed, stretching lazily as his muscles rippled under the warm light of the room, leaving the ice pack on the bedside table. the movement drew your eyes almost involuntarily to his chest, his defined pecs and the subtle line of his collarbone. you realized too late that you were staring.

“like what you see, pipsqueak?” he teased, smirking as he leaned forward slightly, resting his elbows on his knees.

your face heated instantly, and you scrambled to find a response. “i wasn’t—i mean, you’re not that impressive,” you shot back, your words stumbling over each other in your flustered state.

he laughed, low and amused, clearly enjoying your reaction. “sure you weren’t.”

before you could retort, he straightened up and glanced toward the door. “what do you want for lunch?” he asked casually, his slightly red jaw stealing your attention for a few seconds.

“lunch?” you blinked at him, momentarily stunned. “i forgot we’re supposed to spend the next few days confined,” you admitted, your tone dipping with mild disappointment. “i was really starting to like the restaurant food we’ve been eating.”

caleb chuckled, his expression softening. “well, you’ll have to settle for my cooking again. i think you’ll survive.”

your mood lifted almost immediately. “oh!” you said, excitement creeping into your voice. “can you make that dish you used to make me when i came home from college? the one with the rice and that weird sauce you wouldn’t tell me the recipe for?”

he tilted his head, pretending to think. “hmm… you mean my secret signature dish?”

“it’s not that secret if you made it for me all the time,” you countered, grinning now.

“fine,” he said with a mock sigh of defeat, standing up from the bed. “i’ll make it.”

as he moved toward the door, you hesitated, shifting awkwardly in your chair. “uh… caleb?” you started, your voice quieter now.

he turned back to you, raising an eyebrow. “yeah?”

you fiddled with the hem of his shirt, avoiding his eyes. “i was just thinking… if you wanted, you could, um, go back to sleeping in your bed. you know. with me. it’s big enough, and the sofa doesn’t look that comfortable…”

his sofa was actually very comfortable and big. but you felt bad either way.

he stared at you for a moment, his expression unreadable, before a slow grin spread across his face. “are you worried about me, pipsqueak?”

“no!” you said quickly, your face flushing. “it’s just… i noticed the marks on your back from sleeping there. you look uncomfortable.”

his grin widened. “so, you’ve been staring at my back?”

“caleb!” you protested, standing up and trying to shove him toward the door. “don’t twist this into something weird.”

he laughed, letting you push him as he pretended to resist. “all right, all right,” he said, still grinning. “if it makes you feel better, i’ll sleep on the bed again. but…” he tilted his head slightly, the grin widening into something teasing. “can you at least warn me before you decide to punch me next time? because, honestly, this thing hurts like a bitch.”

you froze mid-push, your face heating up in a mix of embarrassment and irritation. “don’t tempt me,” you shot back, trying to sound stern but failing to keep the amused lilt out of your voice.

he chuckled, stepping just outside the door but turning back to look at you, his expression softening. “deal?” he asked, his eyes searching yours.

you sighed, shaking your head as a reluctant smile crept onto your face. “fine. but only because i want to avoid another bruise on your face. it’s bad enough looking at this one.”

he chuckled, stepping out of the room but turning back for a moment. “get comfy, pipsqueak. i’ll call you when lunch is ready.”

lunch came and went, the hours passing in a strange haze of quiet conversations and unspoken tension. turns out caleb’s cooking skills have improved since your last meal together, and you’ve caught yourself praising his abilities more than once. 

the gaifan with baozi left you content and vibrant for the rest of the day, the taste of familiarity spicing your tongue along with the steamed dumplings.

at one point, caleb insisted on showing you how skyhaven’s isolation worked—something about magnetic fields and protocores stabilizing the entire floating city. you tried to follow along with your hunter’s brief knowing about fluctuations, but the way he lit up as he explained it was far more captivating than the details themselves.

“this is why we have isolation weeks,” he said, gesturing toward the ceiling as if the intricate systems were visible through the walls. “the magnetic fields can’t handle too much strain for extended periods, so every month, we scale back activity to let the systems recalibrate. it’s boring, but it keeps us alive.”

“boring?” you repeated, raising an eyebrow. “you’re talking about living on a floating island, caleb. that’s not boring.” you smiled. “i remember you dreaming about coming here for the first time when you graduated high school.”

he smirked, leaning against the edge of the counter. “guess i’ve been here too long. you kind of get used to it.” his tone was casual, but there was a flicker of something softer in his expression, a quiet pride that reminded you of the boy who used to explain the constellations to you back home, his enthusiasm unshakable.

later, as the sun began to dip below the horizon, he led you to the living room, where floor-to-ceiling glass windows framed the sky in breathtaking clarity. you stood there for a while, the silence between you broken only by the occasional hum of skyhaven’s systems. the view was mesmerizing—clouds streaked with gold and pink, the faint glow of the city’s lights flickering to life below.

“do you ever get tired of this?” you asked, voice quiet.

“not the view,” he said after a moment, his gaze fixed on the horizon. “it’s the one thing that reminds me we’re all still connected to something bigger. even up here.”

you glanced at him, surprised by the weight in his words. for a brief moment, he wasn’t the confident, larger-than-life caleb you’d known these past few days. instead, he felt like something closer, more familiar—a reflection of the boy you once knew, the one who used to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders even when it wasn’t his to bear. 

his gaze stayed fixed on the horizon, but his fingers brushed the edge of the glass as if reaching for something out of sight. that first night, neither of you could sleep. the air between you was heavy, the silence stretching long enough to make you wonder if he could hear the way your heart raced. 

“can’t sleep?” you finally asked, your voice barely louder than a whisper.  

“not really,” he admitted, his tone unusually soft. “too much on my mind.”  

you turned to face him, the dim light casting shadows across his face. “like what?”  

he hesitated, his jaw tightening. “everything,” he said finally. “you, mostly.”  

“me?” the word came out sharper than you intended, your chest tightening.  

he nodded, his gaze meeting yours. “i can’t stop thinking about everything i’ve put you through. how much i’ve hurt you. it’s like this weight i can’t get rid of, no matter how hard i try.”  

“yeah, you hurt me,” you said, your voice steady, though your chest tightened with the admission. “there’s no denying that, caleb. but carrying it around it’s not going to undo anything.”

his eyes softened, the vulnerability in them cutting through the walls you’d tried so hard to keep up. “you’ve always been too good to me,” he murmured. “even when i didn’t deserve it.”  

you wanted to argue, to tell him he was wrong, but the words caught in your throat. instead, you reached out, your fingers brushing against the cool metal of his bionic arm. “you didn’t deserve what they did to you either,” you said quietly.  

for a moment, he didn’t respond. when he did, his voice was barely audible. “i would do it all again if it meant keeping you safe.”  

the weight of his words hung between you, heavier than the silence. you didn’t know what to say, how to ease the ache in his voice. so you didn’t say anything at all. instead, you shifted closer, letting your shoulder brush against his. it was a small gesture, but it felt like everything. 

you fell asleep before he did, your breathing soft and steady in the quiet. he stayed awake, watching the way the faint light danced across your face, tracing the lines he’d memorized a thousand times before.

he turned his gaze to your sleeping form, the rise and fall of your chest a quiet reassurance that you were here, that you were safe. it was the only thing that kept him grounded, kept the shadows of his own mind from consuming him whole. and for the first time in days, the knot in his chest loosened just enough to let him breathe.

you didn’t know—couldn’t know—how much he’d thought about this, dreamed about this, clung to the fragile hope that one day he could be near you again. that he could protect you, not just from the world but from himself, from the consequences of his failures and the monsters he’d let into your life. it wasn’t just love. it was something darker, deeper. devotion that bordered on obsession, a desperate need to be the shield between you and everything else.

he would protect you. from ever, from the shadows of the past, from anything that dared to hurt you. again and again and again, until there was nothing left of him.

author’s note: it was so hard to write this one guys, i didn't know if y'all would like caleb's switch up from such a hateful man (ugh) into this more real one but yeah, i had a good time writing this. I KNOW THE ENDING IS BAD, but it's not the real ending yet! see you next chapter (very soon!), xx. THE SMUT IS COMING I PROMISE. send me a request • my masterpost

taglist: @bbieainee

[whereisten]

Promises

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | more coming soon..

“I make no promises, I can't do golden rings, but I'll give you everything tonight”

Pairing: Mafia Leader!Jaehyun x female reader (bakery/cafe owner)

Genre: Friends to lovers au, fluff, smut and angst

Warnings: gun and violence mention, blood mention, murder, stalking, alcohol mention, Minors DNI! Smut (unprotected sex, knife play, impregnation kink, rough sex, overstimulation, public sex, car sex)

Word Count: 13k

((A/N: WELL...its been some time, I apologize :( We got two new characters hehe! Also, if you are. jjk fan, the getou version is on our AO3 ;) I hope you enjoy this part, there will be a few more, Im thinking of actually publishing this one so I would love to receive feedback if you have any! Thank youuuu <3)

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[A month later]

“Hey..what do you want to drink?” Your friend taps your shoulder to awaken you from your daze.

With the music booming and the lights flashing, you’d think you’d be wide awake in the club, but the truth was you were thinking about him.

You missed him. You missed his smile, his voice, his comfort. Sure, he was mean when he left, but it didn’t stop your heart from falling in love with him. Although, your mind knew better. He wanted nothing to do with you, so why think about him?

“I’ll take cranberry vodka.” You nod at her.

After a few minutes she hands the drink to you and smiles. “I’m so happy you got a break. Let’s go dance!”

And so you down your drink and head to the dance floor, doing your best to push his image and touch out of your head.

You twirl around, moving your hips freely to the music and feeling your head become heavier by the second.

After nearly 20 minutes you stumble towards the back in search of the bathroom.

“It’s down the hall, honey.” Another bartender points.

You sigh as you relieve yourself. Few things felt as good as peeing while drunk. You look at yourself in the mirror, laughing at how dizzy you felt. But damn were you hot, you went with the perfect dress tonight, how could you not get any attention from the men out there?

Well, you’ll just have to try again, you thought to yourself and stepped out after washing your hands. The only problem with this plan is that you accidentally turned in the opposite direction and left through the back door of the club.

By the time you realized and turned around to get back in, the heavy metal door slammed shut. “Shit.”

You balance yourself on the wall and walk around, and just as you turn the corner you see something familiar.

It’s Jaehyun’s car.

Your eyes widen, your brain immediately pushing away your desire for any male attention other than his. Wait, why are you like this? He doesn’t want you, remember?

But still, it wouldn’t hurt to get a glimpse of him, right?

You walk towards his car and look up at the building it’s parked in front of.

The building is dark, except for one floor with lit up bulbs. Tipsy and without a plan, you head up to it.

The area is sketchy so you really shouldn’t be snooping around, but you text your friends you’ll be back.

As you approach the level, you hear a lot of talking and arguing. You then peek through a hole in a wall separating the hall from the lit up room and see a man tied up in a chair with a bag over his head.

You look to the left to see Jaehyun. The man of your dreams wears a black t-shirt and jeans, and still looks wonderful.

Your eyes widen when you see him wiping a knife with a long blade clean, blood stains the cloth and you breathe heavily as you notice that the man’s arm is dripping in blood.

“It’s a pity you won’t tell us what we need, we’ll find it out anyway..” His familiar voice echoes in the warehouse. 

“You can try to drink your problems away but you’ll never escape me.” Jaehyun smiles wickedly at him. It’s a sinister smile that would send anyone running, but not you, of course not. You strangely have the adverse reaction, needing to see that face, one he’d give you as you look over your shoulder to see him ruining you from behind. 

Stop.

That’s your drunk mind talking. He was right, no matter how much you drank, you’d never escape him.

Nonetheless, it seems they’d caught the man at the bar you were at right before you got there.

Another henchman brings a crying and tied up woman out from another room and throws her onto the floor in front of the man. The gang member then takes the covering off of the man’s head and the man screams a blood curdling scream as he sees the woman on the floor.

“Your wife has been through a lot already, Leonidas..put her out of her misery now by just telling us the truth..” 

Her husband won’t budge, shaking his head and repeating “I’m sorry..I’m sorry I can’t” over and over. You swallow hard. Your hands start to tremble. What is Jaehyun’s plan if he still refuses to cooperate?

And then, one of Jaehyun’s men kicks her in the stomach repeatedly, making her spew out blood. You squint and look away, but the sound of her screams of agony pierce your ears. 

You start to cry, covering our mouth to quiet your own sobbing.

“Do you really want to see how ugly this gets?” Jaehyun marches over then stabs her thigh.

You gasp as your eyes widen. No. How could he do this to an innocent woman?

The sight is messy and you turn away again. You shouldn’t be here, you have no business watching this. This can’t be the same man that you daydream about. This can’t be the man that you served pastries and coffee to, or the one that made sure you got home safe every night. You feel sick to your stomach.

The man is still silent, Jaehyun rolls his eyes before leaning down in front of him. “She will suffer because of you, is that really what you want?”

The man looks at his wife who is curled up on the ground and in tears. “Please..forgive me.”

“Leonidas! Please!!” She begs while reaching out for him.

Jaehyun steps back and nods towards another henchman who picks up a gun and shoots the lower part of the woman’s spine before your brain can even comprehend what is happening. The sharp sound nearly deafens you, but you still don’t run away. 

Jaehyun looks back at the man as he winces from seeing her writhe like a fish out of water. “Now..she’s paralyzed, was it worth it?”

You step back, but you’re suddenly grabbed up by the collar and dragged into the room by one of the members. 

“Hey! Ow!”

He throws you onto the floor, making you jam your knees onto the concrete.

“Look what we got here boss, a snitch.”

Jaehyun turns to you as you curse out. “Shit! Let me go!”

His eyes widen as he breaks his intimidating presence for a moment. “What the hell?!”

“Do you want us to tie her up?” The man grabs you up by your hair as you grunt. You raise your hands in an effort to scratch his strong arms.

“No! Get your hands off her!” Jaehyun hurries over.

The man lets your hair go, making you fall to the floor and grunt.

Jaehyun quickly places the gun down and helps you up. He grabs your wrist, tighter than ever before, nearly crushing your bone as he drags you out and into the hall. “Ow! Jaehyun..you’re hurting me!”

“What the fuck are you doing? Are you crazy?!” He tosses you into a wall, and the fact that you look amazing tonight still doesn’t stop him from being upset about you being there.

“I’m-I’m sorry, I just...I saw your car and -I wanted to see what you were up to and..” you start to sob.

“Why?!”

You sniffle, still tipsy, you can’t hold back the truth. “I missed you and I think..I think I love you.”

His brows furrow. “Love? You can’t fucking love me..”

“Those people..Jaehyun, I…I saw what you did, why are you doing this?”

“Did you like what you fucking saw?! Can you still love me after this? This is what I do, y/n. Get that through your thick skull! I’m not a nice fucking person, I hurt people!” He is infuriated, he doesn’t try to calm you down as you cry harder. He should take a moment to remember that you're probably drunk out of your mind right now, but in his anger, he can't seem to think of that fact.

He’s frightening, you can’t help but tremble under him. His face is filled with fury, and it’s the same face you saw the night he saved you from those two men, but you’re not so sure if you’re as lucky as you were last time.

“I’m sorry-it’s just..I didn’t expect you to—“

“To what?! What y/n?!” He steps closer as he yells.

“Kill innocent people!” You finally let out.

He nods. “Innocent?? What- well! Merry fucking Christmas, hope you liked your surprise. This is exactly why you should stay away from me! You don’t know me! You don’t want to know me! And I don’t want to see you again, do you understand?!”

You don’t respond, you only cry into your hands.

He grabs your wrist again to pull you back into the room.

“Hold her still!” He points to two large men who hold your arms up.

“Jaehyun..stop..please..I’ll leave..” You heave. He picks a gun from the table up. 

“No!! Don’t do this..you don’t have to! There’s another way..Jaehyun..please!!”

The man and woman beg him as well, pleading loudly as they desperately try to escape the men and rope that keep them in place as well.

He shoots the husband and wife 3 times each, making you jump and turn away.

You push the henchmen away from you and wail while on the floor. 

“Look at me!” Jaehyun commands.

He bends down and takes your chin into his hand, forcing you to look into his eyes as his fingers dig into your cheeks. He looks into your wet, red eyes, but not an ounce of regret flows through him. You had to see this, you had to hate him. Only then could you truly want this separation.

He hated to see you cry, but it was necessary. If you saw him as a saint, if you fell in love with who you thought was a “good man” only to find out how evil he is further down the line, it would only hurt more.

“This is who I am..you shouldn’t..you can’t love me..now get out of here.”

He lets you go. You quickly scurry to your feet.

You run as far as you can while crying, a million thoughts run through your head, the loudest being “how could you be so stupid to fall in love with a gang leader?”

Jaehyun turns to one of the men who starts to put their guns away.

“You just killed our lead, boss.”

Jaehyun stares at the dead man who should’ve provided key information as to where enemy shipments were docking.

“The bastard wasn’t going to tell us anything, he even let his wife die..tomorrow, we’ll see if his friend is just as selfish.”

Jaehyun puts his jacket on and heads out without another word.

On his drive back home, he thinks about everything that happened and if he had to do what he did. The truth is he had to kill them. The minute his guy dragged you into the room, this was decided. Should the man and his wife be let free, they would quickly expose your identity to his rivals and put your life at risk, and he couldn’t have that happening. You messed things up and didn’t even know. To make matters worse, based on his reaction everyone in the room could tell you were special to him. 

He lays down in bed and tries to sleep, but after tossing and turning, he decides he should just go to the gym to take out his frustrations.

The punching bag becomes his main target. With every punch he thinks of how he felt when he yelled at you. Why was he so rough? You just confessed your love and this is how he reacts? He doesn’t deserve you. He knew that from the very beginning and his greed and lust still pushed it. He knew it because he didn’t want to just say ‘goodbye’ after having sex with you, he wanted to stay and hold you close, hugging you until the sun rose. 

He wanted to whisper sweet words as he watched you sleep in his arms. He had never wanted this from any sexual partner before. Thus, he realized he loves you too, he always will and for that reason he cannot put your life at risk. 

He sweats large drops of salty water as he pants.

He sits on the bench, wondering if he should call and apologize for being too harsh on you. He plans on leaving you alone, but the least he could do is apologize first.

He picks the phone up and stares at your unsaved number. But after a few seconds, he decides not to call, putting the phone back on the bench beside him and picking up his water bottle instead.

As he gulps it down, and as he does, he remembers how drunk you were and can’t help but wonder if you got home safely. So he picks the phone up and checks your location.

You’re home.

He sighs. He should stop by and see if you’re awake. 

No. He shouldn’t

But once again, Jaehyun can’t resist you.

He uses a lock pick to get into your apartment easily, making note of how he should really get you a chain lock for the inside.

He walks in slowly and quietly before pushing your room door open slightly. And there you were, curled up in bed and snoring lightly. It was nice to know you were sleeping soundly, but he knew his words and actions cut deep this time, maybe too deep to recover from.

He observes your cute face, your brows furrowed slightly and your lips pursed. To be with you—no—to even look at you is a privilege, one he did not deserve.

He places a soothing cream for your wrist on your nightstand as well as a hangover cure drink, then turns to leave.

You take in a sharp breath, causing him to turn around swiftly. Did you wake up?

You breathe heavily, your eyes move quickly under your lids.

“No..no..” You mumble and groan. Your breathing quickens. It sounds like you’re on the verge of a panic attack.

Not knowing how else to help you before it’s too late, he quickly lays down in bed beside you and hugs you from behind. “I got you, baby, it’ll be okay shh.”  

He holds you in his arms until you start to breathe normally again. Your eyes never open. 

I could stay here..just tonight..it wouldn’t hurt, would it? He already knows the answer. He tells himself he is doing this to help you, but he knows he’s doing it for his own selfish reasons. To be able to feel your warmth, to smell your hair, to listen to you breathe in the stillness of the night, that’s why he does it.

Your eyes open slightly but he can’t see, you try to process what exactly is happening while panicking for a moment, but then it clicks. His cologne surrounds you just as his arms do.

Jaehyun.

He was hugging you close as you dreamt.

You decide to close your eyes and enjoy your last moment with him, with the man you could only know now as a cold hearted killer.

After a few minutes, he slowly releases you from his hold and gets out of the bed. 

You both needed to be away from each other for now, so he silently leaves your apartment and heads home.

You wake up the next morning alone and with a splitting headache.

You rub your temple, squinting as the sun peers through your window. Then, you feel another aching pain. 

You look down at your wrist and it all comes back to you.

“Shit.” You whisper to yourself. 

What happened the night before was real..very real actually. Jaehyun made it clear that he wasn’t interested in you anymore, so now the only thing you can do is move on and try to forget him. Try.. at least try. You get up and get ready for work after downing the drink he left for you on your nightstand. That strange bastard. How can he care for you, but hurt you at the same time?

[One Month Later]

Jaehyun mustered up the courage to face you finally. He just couldn’t bear it anymore. Every day he had to watch you travel your usual route from home to work as a little dot on his phone screen. He refused to do it any longer. He had to see you, hear from you, touch you..hold you. It’s the only way he’d feel sane again.

He sits at his usual spot, meanwhile, you didn’t notice he’s even opened the door. Why? You’re too caught up in a conversation with another man. You smile and laugh a bit too much for his liking. How could you? How could you share your happiness with another man while he aches for you?

How and why are you flirting with another customer? And in just a few minutes he hears it. 

 “Thank you Johnny, I’ll see you next time.”

You even call him by his first name? 

The man takes his bag of bread and heads out with a small smile.

Jaehyun looks back at you, only to catch you smiling hard as Johnny leaves.

But then, your smile fades when you see him.

You flinch when you see him at your counter and he notices. He really did scare you that night. He thinks to himself. His heart does hurt when he remembers how badly he messed up, but his mind is enraged with the thought that you may have moved on.

You look away and start to wipe down the counter. 

“Do you know all your customer’s first name’s now?” Jaehyun says as he tilts his head. You ignore him. 

You look over your shoulder to the back.

“Mark! There’s someone out here who needs help”

“Ok!”

You resume your chore, scrubbing an already clean surface as you try not to face Jaehyun. He controlled your every thought night and day. He’s no good for you, you know that, and you figured distance and time would help. Yet, here he was. Never allowing that theory to come true as he closes in on distance and takes up your time.

Mark looks around nervously. You hired Mark shortly after that incident so you could 1. Not be alone with any creeps and 2. Get some help in the bakery. There’s no way you can handle all the work yourself. 

He clears his throat. “What would you like to order?

Jaehyun chuckles, “A minute with the owner.”

Mark sighs then looks back at you while you place fresh cookies on the display. He turns back to Jaehyun and pouts. “Unfortunately, we don’t have that”

Jaehyun frowns. He feels like an asshole for how he acted. Technically, he had no right to be upset with you, and he only came to apologize. You don’t owe him a word and you’re clearly upset, so there’s no point in making your pain last longer.

Mark sighs and walks away.

“Y/n..how I acted that night..was completely unacceptable. I was..worried about you, but I made a fool of myself and went too far. You don’t deserve that, and I’m so sorry. I understand why you don’t wish to speak with me..but I will never stop hoping that one day you do.” He stands up.

You look him in the eyes, holding back tears as your chest rumbles.

”Please leave if you don’t plan on ordering anything.” You say through thin lips.

You head to the back office as Mark takes over the front. 

You try to act like you don’t care but deep down you do. and as you sit at your desk, you lay on your arms and wonder what should you do. Why does your heart feel so heavy with guilt? You’re the one that’s hurt, right? You deserve better, so just wait for it. But no..you want him, you can’t deny it. He was terrifying that night, he went too far. 

However, as news surfaced about the couple he killed, mysteriously found dead in the woods, the truth about their wrongdoings came to light. They used money from drug trafficking to start up their own ring of slave trafficking, a completely new level of crime. You remembered enjoying coffee one night while closing. You asked Jaehyun if his job entailed hurting innocent people and he assured you he didn’t, turns out, he was right. 

Long story short, he saved a few innocent lives by taking care of those rotten demons. He is an interesting variation of Batman.

He still scared you though, that you wouldn’t deny.

Jaehyun is dissatisfied with you ignoring him, but he leaves you alone.

[The Next Month]

“Happy Birthday Mark!” You and your friends yell out at the busy nightclub.

Mark smiles widely and thanks everyone before putting two soon-to-be-emptied bottles up in the air. 

You dance the night away and do some drinking yourself. You bump hips with Mark and throw your hands in the air while having an amazing time. The lights flash, the music is nearly deafening and the floor shakes under your feet. It’s nice to let go.

“Want another shot?” Mark pushes his hair back while leaning towards you.

Feeling quite tipsy, you shake your head. “I’m good!” You didn’t need things to go south like they did the last time you got drunk.

Mark hugs you tightly before running off to the bar. You laugh while watching him prance away without a care in the world.

A few feet away from you sits the club's owner. He takes a long drag from his cigarette and lets it rest inbetween his fingers while leaning back.

“Let’s dance, babe…it’s too boring here!” The girl in a tight hot pink dress sitting beside him runs her hand over his thigh. He brushes her away and scoots further down on the couch. 

“I’ll tell you what..go ahead and dance and if I like the way you move, I’ll join you.”

She jumps up and runs to the floor, still oblivious to the fact that his attention has been on someone else the entire time.

“Hey.” You hear a low voice call out from behind. You turn to see a tall man with blue hair gazing down at you with wide eyes. 

Why not? You think to yourself. It’s been a while since you’ve felt the embrace of a hot guy.

You start to dance, letting the music flow through your bodies as they grind against each other.

He runs his hand along your throat, tilting your chin so that he can access your lips from behind. You can feel his steamy breath hit your bottom lip, you’re so close and then-

You’re separated. 

“What the fuck, dude?” The man lets out when he sees a girl in a tight pink dress walk away after bumping into the two of you hard.

“Sorry about that.” a male voice calls out from behind you. You turn and gasp.

Jaehyun.

“She got a little carried away.” He walks after the girl. Your heart drops. Did he just brush past you like that? Not even a glance or “hi.” Are you really nothing to him?

You shouldn’t be surprised. You’re the one that cut things off. So why does it hurt so bad to see him with someone else?

“You good?” The blue haired man interrupts your thoughts. 

You force a smile. “Yeah..yeah for sure! Do you..want to go to the bathroom?”

He smiles widely and takes your hand. The two of you struggle to make your way through the crowd and towards the back to continue your makeout session. 

Jaehyun watches you and sends a message to one of his men.

He tells them to lock the bathroom doors. He knew you were less likely to make out with the guy in public like this.

He had to stop it.

“Hey! You said you like the way I move, let’s dance!” The girl grabs his arm.

He pulls away, gently taking her hand off of him. “I’ll be right back.”

He hurries to the back where he sees you both struggling to open the door. Suddenly, the power is cut off. You can’t see anything and now the guy's hand has left yours. Everyone yells and screams. Some screaming out of fear, some screaming out of excitement. It’s chaos, but after just 10 seconds, the flashing lights and music come back on.

Your makeout partner, however, is gone.

You look everywhere for the handsome blueberry, but he’s nowhere to be found. 

“Shit.” You say quietly then head back to the dance floor to look for Mark and your friends.

Jaehyun owned the club so it didn’t take long for him to get what he wanted. Power off? Got it. Bathrooms closed? Done. Blue haired guys get kicked out for no reason? Absolutely.

You push your way through the crowd and bump into Jaehyun again. This time, the girl he was with earlier has an arm around his neck while dancing against his chest. He has a cigarette in his mouth, but gives you a sly smile when he sees you watching them.

She grinds on him but his eyes are focused on you. His dark eyes are hard to resist, boring holes into your skull and making your clothes feel even tighter than they were before. You swallow hard then turn away quickly and continue to look for Mark.

The night goes on and you continue to dance with your friends. It’s not until about 3 AM that everyone is ready to leave.

You wait for an UVER outside with a hammered Mark.

“Boss. That was..so..fun..” he slurs out.

“I’m glad you had a great time.” you laugh out as he rests his head on your shoulder.

30 minutes have passed and UVER drivers have either declined the ride or not shown up at all. “What the hell is going on?”

Other people had their designated drivers and were heading home already. The night air starts to feel extra chilly when you realize it’s just the two of you outside now.

“Busy night?..” a man says as he drives up to the front of the club.

You look into the car. “Yeah it seems like-“ your face drops.

“I can drop you guys off if you’d like.” Jaehyun continues.

You step back. “We’re good..thank you.”

“Please y/n..you’re on the way anyway.”

“I said we’re fine! Just leave us-“

Mark stumbles to the ground, falling face flat. 

“Shit!” You yell out then try to pick him up.

Jaehyun hops out of the car to help you.

“The UVER should..ugh..be here in a few minutes.”

Jaehyun leans Mark against his car and looks at you with a serious, almost scary expression. “Are you lying to me?”

You roll your eyes. “Why are you talking to me like I’m a child? Just leave us alone.”

“I’ll wait until it gets here.”

“We don’t need you to do that” 

“It’s my choice, I won’t go home until everyone else does.”

“Oh, are you pulling a Batman again?”

“Come on y/n, think about the surge rates..”

You look away and cross your arms.

“I was a dick, I know-“

“Was?” You raise an eyebrow.

“But let me make it up to you, I’ll drop you both off, he can get rest and you can get home safely..please.”

You look at your phone and sure enough UVER has boosted the price 5x.

You look at Mark then at Jaehyun. “Fine.”

He helps you put Mark in the car. He sleeps and lays on his side on the backseat.

You then sit in the passenger seat with your hands in your lap. A few minutes pass and Jaehyun can’t help it.

“How are you?”

“I’m fine.”

He nods. 

“Did you like the nightclub?”

You don’t respond this time, you only look out of the window as he drives.

A few seconds pass and only Mark’s snoring fills the tense air.

“We worked hard on it, changed the tiles, redid the bar, and-“

“How are you always conveniently popping up?” You ask him angrily.

“You can’t just come to my club and not expect to see me, y/n..” he says smoothly.

You turn to him.

“My..club?”

He can’t contain his laughter “oh you had no idea huh?”

“You never told me you owned a nightclub..” 

“I never told you much about my job, baby”

You shiver when he says “baby” in such a low tone. 

You scoff. “Job..if that’s what you call it.” You roll your eyes and relax into the seat.

‘And that’s why it didn’t work’ is what you want to say, but you don’t.

“I also didn’t know you started smoking again.”

Jaehyun can’t help but smile. You’re worried about him, and it shows in how much attention you give him. You still care.

“I didn’t..just needed a little something tonight.”

“Good. I hate the smell.”

He looks at you to see if you realized your mistake. 

“Does it matter anymore? I’m never near you..” He tilts his head.

“Oh…right.” You say quietly.

He clears his throat. “How have you been though? Is the business doing well?”

“I don’t want to talk, Jaehyun.” 

And there it is. You shut him out again. Was what he did that bad? Yeah, he may have killed a person..two people..in front of you..twice, and yeah, he may have yelled and said awful things. But did it warrant this treatment from you? Well..yes. You’re too good for him, he needs to remember that. He swallows hard when he comes to the realization that he will never stop trying to get you back. Whether it takes 1 month, 5 years, or a decade, deep down, he will always want you. 

He waits for a few minutes to pass then he tries again.

“Come on sweetheart, we can start over.” He grips the steering wheel tightly with one hand.

The slight airiness in his voice sends you back to the night you had with him. His sweaty skin against your body, his large hands gripping you tightly enough to wring you dry. All while he pants and leans into your ear to call you “sweetheart.”

You close your legs tightly and shake the memory away.

You chuckle. You can’t believe the audacity of this man.

“First of all don’t call me that…and it seems to me you’re already starting something with another girl.”

“Oh?..did that upset you?”

You turn to him. “Seeing a cold killer dance with someone? No..no I’m not upset at all, I feel bad for her.”

he glances at Mark to make sure he’s still sleeping. “A killer? Me?” He chuckles.

“He’s passed out, and even if he wasn’t I’d kill you if you laid a finger on him.”

“Oo a threat?, I’d like to see you try, I wonder if you’d start trembling again?”

“Oh fuck off.” You roll your eyes.

“What about that Johnny guy? What’s his deal?”

You bunch your brows. “Oh did that upset you?”

Jaehyun shakes his head and looks into the road sternly. “You guys just seem close, that’s all.”

“You think I’m sleeping with every customer I know on a first name basis now?”

“No-that’s not-“

“Yes, Jaehyun, you caught me. I’m fucking Johnny and other customers before and after work every day, happy?”

He turns to you, clenching his jaw and narrowing his eyes. 

“Don’t do that.”

“Don’t do what?” You turn back to him.

“Don’t get sarcastic with me.”

“Or what?”

Just then Mark snores loudly, so loud you jump in your seat. The two of you burst out into laughter.

The rest of the drive is silent. You both help Mark into his apartment, then Jaehyun drives you to yours.

He lets you out at the loop right in front of the building. “Do you want me to walk you up?”

You turn to him before stepping out of his car. “Since when do I need help to get to my apartment?. Goodbye Jaehyun.”

He takes your hand. “I..I’m sorry.”

“I know you are.” You withdraw it from his hold and walk away. 

The night ends just like countless other nights have ended for him, he dreams about you, grasping the sheets on his bed, hoping to feel your skin just once. Eventually, he gives up and either works out or stands in front of his floor to ceiling windows with a cigarette in hand while watching the sun rise.

[Two Weeks Later]

Jaehyun holds your hand gently, helping you into the massive teacup you’re about to ride in together. It’s been a great day at Disney, and now with the sun setting, casting a warm glow onto your lover's face, you enjoy one last ride together.

The cups spin and spin, making you slide up and down the curved bench inside. Jaehyun giggles and reaches out for you to hold you close. You rest in his broad arms, time seems to stand still for a moment. You only feel the peace of the air in between you, the longing gazes, and the golden hue of the sky. 

His smile fades into a frown. “I’m sorry sweetheart..”

Your brows bunch together. “Sorry? About what?”

You’re jolted awake by the sound of your vibrating phone.

“Damn it..” you rub your eyes before grabbing your phone. Another stupid dream about your stupid ex-wait, could you even call him that?

You yawn while scratching your head. “I really gotta stop doing that.” But you can’t control your dreams, they manifest from what your heart wants. Nonetheless, you unlock your phone to see what the notification is.

It’s a text

Banker: let’s meet to discuss a few things about your application.

You nod to yourself. “Perfect.”

You knew what the Banker meant when he said he wanted to meet up. In exchange for him tweaking a few things on your loan application, you’ll satisfy his..specific needs. Will this be your proudest moment? Probably not, but you need to do what you need to do.

You swallow hard. Jaehyun’s face of disappointment enters your mind. 

“Ugh…” you lay back down in bed. He did have a point. Why should you sell yourself when someone you actually like is willing to give you money for just existing?

Then you remind yourself. Where is that money coming from? It’s blood money, and you want nothing to do with it.

And sure, he’d be disappointed, but what does that change? At the end of the day you still have a stack of bills that are starting to tilt like the tower of Pisa on your dining table. 

“Wait..what he thinks doesn’t matter.” You sit back up in bed and laugh to yourself.

You: Okay

[The Next Day]

Jaehyun pours the milk over his cereal before exhaling loudly. He still regrets how he acted with you, he misses you more than anything, but what can he do to fix everything? The truth is he knows he’ll have to let you go, you deserve better anyway. You deserve peace and a partner that can help you run your business. A partner that will bake with you then go over your finances together. 

Jaehyun sits down while imagining what he thinks is the life you deserve. You and your partner could eventually offer catering and delivery services for your bakery, you could hire more people so you wouldn’t have to work so hard. And then you’d have time for kids-

Kids..

Jaehyun’s smiles fondly. “She’d be a good mom…”

All of this can and will happen..just not with him. He needs to let you go, for the thought of you being with someone else is just too hurtful. The time is now, he needs to change now. And the first step is deleting the tracker app.

He unlocks his phone and opens the app for the last time. “She’s probably at the bakery right now..”

But no…you’re not at the bakery. You’re in a random parking lot.

He chews slowly and stares with a puzzled expression.

Any plans that you made would likely be in your text or map history, so he decides to take a look at your recent texts.

He puts his spoon down, standing straight up as what he sees shocks him to his core.

“The fucking banker.” 

Jaehyun grabs his jacket and runs out.

He’s furious especially since you already tried doing it this way and he stopped it. How could you do this to him? How could you do this to yourself? He speeds to your location.

Meanwhile, you and the banker sit in his car in the middle of a relatively empty parking lot. You sit nervously in the passenger seat.

The banker tells you that he went over your profile and application, and he’d be happy to approve your loan with the minimum interest. 

You’re ecstatic and relieved. “Oh my god…that’s amazing, thank you!”

The 50-something year old looks into your eyes and nods. “I made it work for you.”

“I appreciate that..”

He leans forward and stares at your lips. “You are so beautiful, I had to do something to help.”

You take a deep breath and try to accept what’s happening, but you can’t bring yourself to meet him halfway.

He opens his eyes. “Oh..is this too much? I’m sorry, I-“

“Oh no..it’s fine..but I’m..not ready yet..”

He looks defeated, and sits back in his seat.

The guilt starts to rip through you, he isn’t pushy or aggressive. He genuinely is helpful, but the attraction just isn’t there. 

You break the silence. “I’d rather let you touch me.” 

You’re quiet and shy, a stark contrast to how you are with Jaehyun because deep down, you don’t really want it.

“Oh..really?”

You nod.

He leans forward, biting his bottom lip as he reaches out. He caresses the warm skin of your neck before moving his hand further down to your shoulder.

You swallow hard as the man pushes your strap off your shoulder slowly, then drags his thumb over your bra. 

“Is this okay?” He asks. You nod, desperate to have him finish quickly so you can go home and relax. He puts his other hand into his pants.

Yes, finally-just get it over with and-

*crash*

The driver window suddenly shatters as someone punches through it.

You scream as you watch the masked man covered in black attire from head-to-toe punch the banker through the window in seconds. There’s glass everywhere, on the floor, in your lap, and all over the banker’s clothing and hair.

He then grabs him by the collar and drags him out of the car through the space created by the broken window.

The banker screams, but the man holds the banker up by the collar and chokes him until he loses consciousness. Your mouth falls open, he may just kill the banker.

“Stop! Please! He didn’t do anything! We were just-“

The man lets the banker’s limp body drop to the floor. You sit in silence as you watch him look down on his body for a few seconds. Then, a chill attacks your spine. He lifts his head and his focus slowly shifts to your face.

Your eyes widen. The panic sets in and you jump out of the car, running away from the masked man. 

He runs after you at an alarming speed.  His steps triple that of yours. You can’t out run him. He grabs you by the waist and swings you around. 

You flail in his arms. “Please!! Please don’t hurt me!”

He doesn’t say anything, he simply throws you over his shoulder and takes you to his black van. You sob and beg him to let you go.

He only turns back around and walks to the banker. He takes his wallet and watch then walks back to you while shoving them in his pocket. Through the small slit over his eyes you can see a menacing darkness. You have no idea what his intentions are, but you don’t think they’re good. You look around you to see rope, tape, bags of cement, bricks, and a shovel. You start hyperventilating and scurry to the corner of the van to get away from him, but he still gets closer and closer to you. 

“Hands behind you.” The man says through a voice changing box. You do as he says and place your arms behind you. He easily spins you around and ties you up with rope. He then spins you back and stares into your eyes.

“Please..let me go..I don’t even know him that well..if he owes you, just take it out on him..”

The man doesn’t say anything, he looks at your exposed shoulder and drooping bra cup now resting slightly above your nipple. He reaches over, a flinch escaping you as a result.

He keeps moving his hand until he grabs the strap and fixes your dress over your bra again. His icy fingers graze your skin.

You swallow hard and start to relax just a bit. “Th-thank you.”

He leaves the back of the van, slamming the door shut before jumping into the driver’s seat.

In a few hours, the banker is hit with the worst headache of his life. He stands up slowly and looks at his broken window. Then, it all starts to come back to him. He sighs. He doesn’t have his wallet or watch, but he’s more than happy to be alive. He heads home like nothing happened. He’s pretty sure you were kidnapped, but what could he do? He can’t tell any one of what happened or call the police because technically he isn’t supposed to be meeting with clients, especially not in sketchy areas like that.

Telling the truth would only make things harder for him. He shrugs his shoulders and turns the radio up.

Once in a secluded area, the man parks and opens the van door.

“Please let me go, I won’t tell anyone about this I-“

He takes his mask off and you gasp.

“Y-you..you fucking bastard.”

Jaehyun doesn’t respond, he unties you and with the van door still open, you dash out of the van and run.

Finally, you’re free. Just keep running and then-

You come to an abrupt halt when you realize you’re at the edge of a cliff.

“Shit.” Your eyes widen. 

“Help!!! Help me!!!” You yell but the echo only comes back to you.

“No one can hear you scream out here, sweetheart.” Jaehyun says as he walks towards you at a leisurely pace.

You walk back to him angrily. He smirks slightly.

You slap him hard. “Take me home now! I can’t believe you fucking kidnapped me!” His face swings to the left, and he steps back in surprise. He looks back at you with narrow eyes as he clenches his jaw.

“Saved you. And no, not until you explain what the hell you were doing with that creep.”

“Oh my god…I don’t even know if he’s okay..did you kill him?” Your hands grip your head.

“No, he’ll just be out for a little while.”

“Why the hell would you do that?”

“I could’ve done worse if I wanted to, you already know that.” He steps closer to you. His eyes darken, and that scary, murderous glint in them starts to show through. 

“Now..explain what you were doing…or I WILL go back and kill him so there’s no chance of it happening again.”

“You’re crazy! I don’t owe you an explanation! You mean nothing to me!” You say too fast without realizing that it was a lie and mistake.

Jaehyun is shocked, but he chuckles, tilting his head to the side in a sort of ‘well, well, well’ manner.

Is this what he needs to hear to finally let you go? 

“I-“ you sigh and your voice lowers slightly. “You know what I mean, Jaehyun. We aren’t married, we aren’t dating, we’re not even friends. Why should I explain my personal life to you?”

“So what? I’m supposed to act like I don’t fucking care?”

Your eyes widen as you walk towards him again with frantically moving hands. “Yes! Yes exactly! Because one second you do care and the next you don’t, it’s driving me crazy! What is it that you want?!”

“You already know that answer.” He tilts his head.

“God, Jaehyun. I’m done with your games.” You wave him off and turn away. 

“You didn’t want it, y/n. I saved you.” 

You flick your head back to him. “Well, Batman, guess what? I was so close to getting what I needed! But of course, you make it about yourself.” You put your hands on your hips and look back out at the cliff. “Plus, you scared the shit out of me!”

“And I’m sorry about that, but it was necessary.”

You scoff. “Necessary? You always do what you think is necessary without considering how it might affect me…”

“It’s what’s best for you, y/n.”

You close your eyes tightly. “Oh my God, you’re impossible.” 

After a few seconds of silence, you pretend to walk by him, but quickly grab his pocket knife from his front pocket. He spins around when he notices, but you press it into his neck quickly.

He chuckles before tilting his mouth into a devious smile. “You never told me you were a spy..” he says sarcastically after seeing you move with such precision. 

Truth was, after nearly getting pick pocketed, and possibly worse, on the night he saved you, you took up self-defense classes.

“I’m not playing around, Jaehyun. Take me home.” You press the blade in slightly.

He’s surprised, but he knows you won’t actually hurt him. “Come on y/n..this isn’t you.” 

He has to admit that seeing you like this did turn him on slightly. He feels a twitch in his pants as he imagines you holding the knife to his neck, riding him while you cry his name out to the heavens. Then he’d grab it from you and flip you over so he could pound into you from behind, holding the knife to your neck as he smashes his hips into you. You’d be the prettiest broken thing by the time he’s done with you.

“I’m different now, I’ve seen the things you do, I want nothing to do with you.” You were lying, you still love him. You dream about him nearly every night and your heart races when you think of him, even as you try to remember how cruel he is. 

He steps forward, forcing you to walk backwards to the van, still looking into your wide eyes. 

“W-what are you doing? Stop moving!” You blink rapidly.

“Do it, sweetheart, kill me, if I mean nothing to you…do it.” He smiles.

As turned on as he is right now, he knows that you are heartbroken because of him and now is his chance to be completely honest about his adoration of you. He needed to fix things fast. If you wanted to leave him after this, you should at least know how he feels first.

With the knife still pressed against him, he leans down closer to you. 

“I’m sorry..I’m so sorry. But I miss you..” he searches your panicking eyes before continuing. “I need you, I can’t go five minutes without wishing you were near me. You’re the only person I’ve truly..felt something with and I panicked, I don’t know what to do, I’ve never…”

You swallow hard, but don’t lift the knife away. Not yet. You need to hear more.

He pauses and looks away. “I don’t know. I don’t deserve you, I know that. But I’m a greedy bastard, I want you anyway.” His eyes float downward to your lips. Despite trembling like he expected you to, you don’t remove the knife.

“You can kill me if you’d like, that will be the only way for my mind and body to rest without you..” He continues to close the distance between you. “..but before you do, just kiss me one last time.”

Your mouth falls open. You’re stunned, still searching his eyes for a sign that he may be joking, but of course, no sign is there. The stone cold man with menacing tattoos just revealed how madly in love he is with you and you can’t do anything but stare in shock.

Your mind is telling you to run, to grab the keys, start the van, and drive home. But your heart..your body..your soul..you can’t leave him. 

You stumble and fall into the van. The knife drops out of your hand and Jaehyun leans forward, caging you in between his arms as you lay down. You breathe heavily and stare at each other’s lips.

He wants to taste them so badly, but he waits for you. It could take all night, but he’d wait for you. Just one, that’s all he asks for before this is all over.

And after waiting for a painfully long amount of time, you hold his face with your hand and kiss him. Your heads turn and your tongues explore each other.

He crawls over you, holding himself up with one arm while the other hooks itself under your leg and pushes your knee to your chest. Frantic and steamy breaths cover your bodies.

You lean forward on your elbows, starting to zip your dress down from the back, but he stops you. He picks his pocket knife up and cuts through it easily, causing an embarrassing moan to escape you. You help him take his shirt off too. The look on his face is one of pure hunger and it’s hot.

“I hate you so much.” You say softly then reach for his face again. You kiss harder, so hard your teeth clink against his. 

He leans back to get air after a few seconds then pants as he looks down at your body in a gorgeous lilac lingerie set. “You were really about to let that loser see you in this?” He tilts head while carefully dragging the knife against your bare skin.

You take in a sharp breath as goosebumps raise across it. Answer incorrectly and you could just become a kebab right then and there. But part of you wants to push him

You nod. “If you don’t love me right, I may still let him see it after this .”

His eyes narrow as his tone deepens. “Don’t..push it.”

“Don’t disappoint me..” you hold his face in one hand while looking into his eyes, easily maneuvering your way to his thick hair. He blushes then begins to kiss you as your hands run through this locs. He groans at the feeling of your fingertips on his scalp.

You giggle. “Are you blushing?”

“No..” he groans against your chest, ignoring the way his face feels like it is on absolute fire.

“Liar.” You smile and massage his scalp with your fingers. You unhook your bra and throw it to the side.

He caresses your breasts while kissing you then grabs your legs by the crook of your knees and fixes himself between them. 

“I want you too, Jaehyun..I’ve never felt this way either..but I can’t take you hurting me anymore.” You whisper. “Promise me you won’t hurt me again.”

He kisses your neck. “I promise..to love you and care for you for as long as you’ll let me, y/n.”

He leans back and takes in the sight once more. You look up at him, staring at his defined abs, impressive chest and rock hard biceps. You should’ve recognized him as the masked man from the beginning. Only he could confidently swing you around like you weigh nothing. He drags the cold tip of the knife along your thigh and then hip. You shiver at the feeling, he loves to see your chest rising and falling. 

He uses the knife to tug the fabric covering your pussy. You gasp as you feel the cold object being so close to you.

Then with a quick swipe he cuts through the left strap of your underwear that hugs your hips. “Jaehyun! I love this set! What are you-“

He cuts the other side.

You draw in a sharp breath. “Damn it.” 

“Now..no one else will have seen it but me.” He lightly drags the dull side of the knife along your cloth-covered slit to see goosebumps a little bit longer the second time. When he finally cuts the other side, he removes the wet fabric to see your flower dripping and aching for him. He licks his lips and breathes heavily. He feels he might go crazy if he doesn’t fuck you right away.

He leans down to kiss you again.

His fingers find your folds, collecting the essence. You whimper into his mouth, feeling his digits enter you slowly, stretching you out to prepare for him.

He pulls away to speak softly against your lips. “Are you going to listen to me? Are you going to obey me like a good girl?”

And in the golden hue of the setting sun, he is magnificent. You can’t help but moan and nod. You’ll say yes to anything at this point, he could tell you to walk 100 miles with him in the rain or snow and you’d agree to it.

Your eyes roll back, you shut them and bite your lip as he works his fingers, your hips rocking against his palm.

He leans back and grabs your chin with his other hand. He looks into your eyes with a dark, lustful gaze like he can’t wait to tear you apart. “Speak.”

“Yes…I’ll do whatever you say.” Your eyes round as you look up at him, feeling beautiful in (half of) your special set.

The corner of his mouth lifts slightly. “Perfect.” He pushes his pants down in one quick motion.

“Can you close the van door?” You ask innocently, trying not to look down at his long dick, tip red and swollen with pre cum leaking. He strokes it slowly, watching as you swallow hard.

And if he had time, he’d torture you by forcing you to watch him pleasure himself before decorating your belly with all that he’s saved up for you. 

He’d lick it up, then kiss you so you could taste it too. He’d lick along your opening until you beg for him to stop, then he’d be hard again and start all over. All while not letting you feel his dick.

You’d be unsatisfied like he’s been all these painful weeks without you. The desperate pleading and whiny noises that would escape you would get him there quickly too. Fortunately for you, your pussy feels so good around his fingers, he knows he’d be a fool not to paint your insides tonight.

He looks back at the quiet woods surrounding the van, no one is there, but the thought of someone actually peaking from behind a tree to watch and listen to him fuck you until you’re a sobbing mess makes it hotter. They can see how good he, only himself, can make you feel. They can grow envious of how well you take him, all while not being able to do a damn thing about it.

Of course, he’s being dramatic. No one is there. But it doesn’t mean he won’t put on a show.

He smirks when he turns back to you.

“Why? Scared someone will see you being a complete slut for me? Scared someone will hear you?”

You shake your head. “N-no, it’s just-”

He enters you quickly, pushing in so deep your body can’t help but clench in an effort to push out the penetrative object. You hold back a loud scream as he takes you suddenly.

You arch your back.

“Fuck..nno..I..” you press your hands against his chest. 

“Hmmm what was that?” He pulls out then pushes in again. You feel every ridge, every vein. Even after all this time, you still have each and every inch memorized. It’s like he owns you. Like he’s made you into his own personal fuck toy.

He grabs your waist with both hands and pulls out then pushes all the way back in like he’s trying to beat some world record for deepest penetration.

He goes even deeper than before, knocking the wind out of your chest.

This time, you can’t hold back, you scream loudly and grab his shoulders with both hands. “Jaehyun! I can’t-!”

He chuckles then places both ankles on his shoulders. He places his hand on your stomach. “Relax, my love, have you forgotten how I feel?”

He pulls out completely then pushes in again. He clicks his tongues. “Shame..now this will take more time.”

He stays in and rubs his hand along your stomach while you pant.

You push his pelvis away as your head falls back. “Too much!”

“Nothing is too..” he thrusts. “Much..” he thrusts harder then pulls out. “For..” he thrusts hard enough to shake the entire van.

“You..” he pulls out then pushes completely in again, ruthlessly fucking you to fit him. “I know my good girl can handle it.”

You whine and shake your head. “Jaehyun! Ahhh..I ca-..” he shuts you up with a kiss, licking over your bottom lip and swallowing your tongue as you cry. Your nails dig tiny craters into his back while he drives you insane.

He pulls away and kisses your jaw. “So..tight, my love.” He starts to suck your neck hard.

You feel his hands grip you tightly to hold you still. Tears fall from the sides of your eyes after feeling so stuffed you might break. 

But within a few minutes, you’re meeting him halfway, swaying your hips slightly to get him to hit that spot. You can’t stop mewling and telling him how good it feels. Your head falls back, your mouth falls open. He controls your body with every movement he makes, fulfilling every filthy desire you’ve had for him these last few days. How could you ever hope to be satisfied by anyone else? You want to praise him, you need to praise him. And so you do, chanting his name over and over in between faint and breathy yes’.

“See? You take me so well.” He watches your boobs move up and down with each thrust and even in this dull van, you are vibrant. Your beauty is that of angels that only grace this earth for minutes at a time before returning to heaven. He’s never seen anything like it.

He loves everything about you, from the curve of your top lip to your warm thighs, he can’t get enough. 

“My pretty girl..” he runs his hand down the center of your chest as one hand holds your waist. His hand goes all the way down, just to hover over your clit.

You look down and moan, but quickly swallow it as it’d be embarrassingly loud.

He only laughs while rubbing circles onto your clit. “Cum for me, baby..I can feel you holding it in. Remember, no one can hear you out here.”

He moves in and out more easily as your slick coats him. He leans forward, biting a nipple while his fingertips massage your clit. “Come on..give it to me, sweetheart, I missed you.”

And so you do. You shake and hold his arms for stability, crying out his name amongst swear words only nature can hear. “Good girl…” he teasingly flicks his tongue against your nipple while staying inside you.

Your hand caresses his scalp as you start to come down. You breathe heavily, quickly building sweat on your body.

He leans back and pulls out slowly, staring down at your entrance that leaks all over the floor of the van.

“Give me another one sweetheart, you’re so pretty like this.”

You shake your head. “I’m sensitive..I just need-.” But it’s too late, he’s already slid his slender fingers back into you, brushing against your walls so he can coat them with his own slick. “Wait!”

Your fingernails find his back and scratch into him again as he moves faster. “S-slow…please.”

“You said you’d follow my orders..” he pulls out completely, then pushes his fingers into you. He lays on his side while you still lay on your back, trying to regain your composure.

He watches as your eyes and legs close tightly.

“Let me see my pretty girl..” He swats your legs apart then rubs your clit mercilessly with his other hand. 

“Hnn..not yet, please..” you gasp as you feel the pressure of his fingertips.

“That’s it, right?” He says as he finds your sweet spot. He kisses your lips, swallowing your whimpers. You start to melt.

You can’t take it anymore, you yell his name out into the night and grab his wrist as you climax again. He chuckles, then removes your hand so he can keep moving. A puddle builds under you as your entire body loses all sense of control. “Good girl..look at the mess you’re making.”

You pant and your mouth falls open.

He places his fingers into it. “Taste yourself.” 

You lick around his fingers but his other hand still circles around your clit at a fast pace. Your eyes widen. “Don’t look so shocked.” He gives a sly smile. 

You squirm in his arms, picking your body up from the floor, but his toned body won’t let you escape. 

“It’s what you want..what you need.” He turns you on your side and hugs you tightly from behind. You reach out for the back of the driver seat to try to pull yourself away from him, but your fingertips just brush the black leather.

Jaehyun chuckles.

“Where are you going? You have to give me more..” he holds you tightly against him, entering you once more. 

“No more, please!” you push against his hips, but there’s no use. He continues to hold onto you and make you mush.

He moves repeatedly as you reach out for anything to grab, but only finding the cold metal of the van.

“Jaehyun!” Your head falls back. You shut your eyes tightly, feeling that ache in the pit of your stomach grow stronger. You have no choice but to accept that he won’t let you go. He stimulates you so well, you wonder how you can cry out for release, but desire more at the same time.

“Imagine someone IS out there..imagine they’re watching us and touching themselves right now..you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” he whispers into your ear.

Unfortunately, your pussy betrays you by clenching at the possibility.

He chuckles lowly and it makes goosebumps raise. “That’s my girl..you like people watching you take my seed…it’s gonna be so deep inside, and you’re gonna show them how well you hold it in for me like a good girl, right?”

All you can do is whimper. 

He chuckles when seeing how mesmerized you are by him. Your mouth falls open but nothing comes out.

“What if I keep you here? Breed you over and over?” He places his hand on your stomach again. “You’d be even prettier with a swollen belly and big, full tits. What do you say?“

You moan loudly and tremble.

Everything he says pushes you closer, you can’t think straight, you want to feel him everywhere. He’s all you can think about. 

“Sweetheart? I need an answer.” He nips the back of your neck.

“Yes..yes!”

You quiver around him. His steamy breath hits the back of your ear while he bends over you.

“Yes that’s it, this pretty pussy wants more and more..it’s never satisfied.” His low voice ruins you.

You clench uncontrollably and cum again, this time you lose your breath and nearly pass out. You’re so weak, all you can focus on is steadying your body.

He turns you over onto your stomach, grabbing your ass before staring at your dripping and swollen entrance.

He slides his dick in between the slit to tease both himself and you, watching as you flinch from the sensation. “You’re so wet today, maybe I’ll fuck you in public more often.”

His hands grip your waist once more, pulling you back onto his cock. 

He pushes into you slowly this time. His arms wrap tightly around your chest as if he is afraid you’ll slip away at any moment. His fingers pinch your nipples as he groans.

“You smell so good..” his face rests on the back of your neck, he kisses it and breathes heavily. 

You moan as he moves slowly against your aching walls.

“Are you ready to take it all?”

You nod and whimper. “Yes.” There’s no point in telling him you’re still reeling from your last climax and are too sensitive for the next one. He needs you now and he won’t stop for anything.

“Say it.”

“I..l” you close your eyes tightly.

“Come on sweetheart, look at me.” He places a hand to your chin to turn your head towards his. You look over your shoulder and into the eyes of the dark haired man bringing you to the edge with deliciously long strokes. He’s beautiful, a work of art even.

With your eyes locked you lick your lips. “Make me yours…I need you..”

Jaehyun’s movement stutters. He holds himself back from cumming just from your words and glossy eyes alone. He can’t believe this is real, he can’t believe he isn’t dreaming of making love to you right now and is actually doing it.

He kisses you and groans into your mouth, while your fingers still intertwine with his hair. His grip on your hip tightens and he moves faster.

“I need you too, my love..so badly.. keep me in”

“Yes..yes!” You arch your back again. You can’t believe yourself right now. Thirty minutes ago you wanted to kill this man, and yet, here you are allowing him to fuck your brains out and make you so stupid you can only think about being full enough to bear children for him.

His fingers move to your clit again and you see stars, your body tenses and you can’t stop clenching around him. 

You feel his abs flex on your back. “You can handle it right? Please..please tell me you can.” He speaks right over your round lips, and his voice is higher now. You gasp at the sound of his suddenly desperate and breathy pleas.

“God yes! I can! I’m your good girl..” you cry out. He feels so good, you can’t take it. You know you sound pathetic, but it doesn’t matter. The idea of being fucked until you’re leaking for days is so hot to you, it’s nothing but embarrassing.

“Tell me..you love me..tell me…please.” His voice cracks slightly in between his groans.

You look into his glossy eyes, searching them for a light that will tell you how he truly feels. You hesitate to tell him the truth. Not for fear that it will break his heart, but that it will break yours.

You love him, however, it’s never enough to make him stay.

“I love you..”

“Again..” he pants.

“I love..you.” 

“Again..”

“I love you, Jaehyun.” You whimper.

“Again, sweetheart..” he moves faster, feeling dizzy with how tightly you hold him.

“Jaehyun..please..I love you..Jaehyun.”

His fingertips dig into your skin. “One more.” He could listen to you chant his name in between “I love you’s” all day and night.

“I love you so much..I need you.” You let out as your body grows weaker.

“Yes, that’s it..I’m here for you, my love..take it.” He releases deep inside you, moving slowly to ensure you have every drop. He holds you fast against him until he’s sure your skin will be sore for a few days.

You moan loudly, convulsing around him before your body collapses.

“Fuck...” he lets out breathlessly when he pulls out. He lays down beside you and hugs you from behind for a few minutes.

“I’m sorry..”

You brace yourself, you can’t believe he’s doing this again. “..for what?”

“For ruining your beautiful set..I’ll get you another one.” 

You breathe a sigh of relief and smile.

You both get up and try to get dressed with what’s left.

Jaehyun takes his shirt up and drapes it over you. You tie the remnants of your dress around your hips to turn it into a skirt. You then get into the passenger seat as he gets into the driver seat, and head home.

When you’re halfway there, you notice Jaehyun doesn’t head in the direction of your place. “Wait..where-“

“I’m taking you home.” He drives with one hand on the steering wheel. 

“Home?” You smile to yourself, hoping he doesn’t look over to see how excited you are.

Once at his ridiculously large apartment, he runs a bath for you and cleans you thoroughly. You relax in the tub after he places epsom beads into the hot water to soothe your aching body. You close your eyes and feel him gently pour water over your back. It’s quiet. You’re too hoarse to speak, meanwhile Jaehyun is too nervous to say the first word. 

Jaehyun thinks about how much he loves you as never in his life has he pleaded for anything and especially not during sex. He doesn’t know how you do it, but you’ve got a hold on him unlike anything else. After several minutes, he speaks up.

He sits on the edge of the tub. “If you can give me another chance, I promise not to mess it up. I need you.”

You look into his eyes. “..you scare me.”

He stops moving. “I’m sorry.”

“You change your mind and act differently every day, and with no regard for other people. You have to let me know what you want.”

He leans down and kisses you deeply. When he pulls away he kisses your forehead. “Does that answer it?”

You smile softly and nod. 

He then lays you in his bed and after he showers, you fall asleep as he rubs your back and looks onto your soft face.

The truth is, you scare him too. These feelings are all too new to him. He used to live without care for anyone, even himself. Risking his life daily, for he did not care what would happen to him. But now..now he has someone to care for..someone to live for. You are someone he wants to be better for and the power you hold over him for this reason is scary. He felt this longing and care for you even before you let him touch you. Just being your friend was something he was grateful for, but now that you returned his feelings, he truly felt the magnitude of his desire for you.

The next morning, you’re happy to see you’re still in Jaehyun’s arms.

He’s happy to feel you next to him in reality, he doesn’t have to dream about it for once.

[The Next Night]

Johnny loosens his tie as he watches his neighbor pull into his driveway. He sits in his car before heading into his house, sighing while looking out into the night sky. One day, just one day, he’d like to be able to leave work on time. Overtime is his least favorite thing in the world—just in front of gang leaders of course. They make his job incredibly difficult. As the lead detective in his unit, he always has to pick up where the officers slack off at. To make matters worse, he went to his favorite spot for lunch, but the owner wasn’t there for once. He just hopes she’s okay. Maybe she’s getting some well deserved rest finally, he thinks to himself. Although, he finds it odd that you did promise to let him try out a new recipe for an Italian inspired bread. You were so excited when you spoke to him about it two days ago, and yet, you didn’t show.

“And the final touch is oregano! I’m so excited about it, you have to try it on Thursday for me! I trust your opinion.” You said with a wide smile as you sat with him. 

“Cute.” He thought to himself as he watched your eyes crinkle.

Suddenly, something catches Johnny’s eye. His neighbor’s front driver window is broken or rather-crumbling apart as he drives in.

He leaves his car and walks over to him.

“What happened?” Johnny’s brows furrow.

His neighbor jumps, startled by the deep voice just behind (and above) his head.

“Oh! UHhh hmmm..well..I work at a bank you know..sometimes people uhhh think I take money home with me haha!” The banker laughs loudly.

Johnny stands there with a stern expression. He doesn’t find it funny.

The banker then clears his throat. “Yeah umm someone broke into it..”

“Did you see them?”

“..kinda.” He shrugs

“Oh that’s terrible..come by tomorrow to submit an official re-“

“No!” The banker raises his voice suddenly, shocking Johnny into stillness.

“I mean..it’s all good, it’s not necessary. I was out on unofficial business anyway!”

Johnny continues. “Are you sure?”

“Yup! I have insurance too so it’ll be fixed within 24 hours! You have a good night!” He waves and starts to walk away.

Johnny watches and wonders why he’d be so nonchalant about the entire thing.

“Quick question..” he calls out and the banker turns hesitantly.

“What did they look like? I’d like to at least know that in case they continue to rob others in the city.”

“Of course! Although..I can’t describe him well..”

“It was a man?”

“Yes..that much I know.. a relatively tall man..he wore all black..a thick black turtleneck and black mask so I couldn’t see anything..”

“What did he use to break into your car?”

The banker chuckles. “You’re not gonna believe this but..he used his fist.”

Johnny’s eyes grow. What kinda maniac breaks through glass like that?

“Anyway! Goodnight!” The banker runs off into his house.

[Two Days Later]

You head back into work like normal, returning after receiving calls from a numerous amount of people asking where you were. It’s unlike you to be missing from your bakery for so long.

Truth is, you and Jaehyun spent A LOT of time together. Each time you tried to recover from your..sessions..Jaehyun would start all over again. It’s clear to see he missed you dearly. Luckily, you knew he didn’t just miss your body. He missed laughing with you too. You watched movies together and he even cooked for you. You couldn’t be happier to be in an official relationship with him.

“I’ll see you later.” You kiss his cheek and pull away. The two of you were leaning against his car, unconcerned about whoever saw you flirting with each other for 15 minutes.

Johnny watches from inside the bakery, sitting at the counter and sipping his coffee.

He looks at Jaehyun who wears a simple black T-shirt and jeans. The tall man looked good, but not as good as he’d look without all those ridiculous drawings in his body. He chuckles, is that jealousy he feels? He could end all of this by just arresting Jaehyun. You’d be safe, he’d be put behind bars finally.. Johnny knows what Jaehyun does, however he  doesn’t have enough evidence to put him away for a long time. Jaehyun kept things clean.

What are you doing with him? With a dangerous man that has tattoos covering his neck and arms?

“..covering his neck..” Johnny looks at the counter as he thinks to himself

a thick black turtleneck…

He remembers the banker's description. Who wears a thick black turtleneck in June? Normally, robbers wore a hoodie or thin sweatshirt

His eyes float back up to Jaehyun.

Jaehyun pulls you back for one final kiss and that’s when Johnny sees it.

A bruised right hand with little cuts along his knuckles.

Johnny’s eyes widen, but he quickly becomes calm when you walk in with a wide smile. “Hi! How are you?” You say with a grin.

You’re glowing, and Johnny feels that jealousy tinge in his chest again.

He takes a moment to respond. You put your bags down in the back then come back out while putting your apron on.

“Johnny? Everything okay?”

“Oh! Yes..yes of course…I see you took some time off.”

You smile brightly. “Yes! I needed a little break. I’m glad Mark was able to keep the place in one piece.” You laugh as you look around the somewhat clean bakery.

“Where did you go?”

“Oh..I was here..I mean, in the city..I just spent some time with my..boyfriend.” You smile even harder and giggle to yourself.

He forces a smile. “That’s nice to hear, y/n. I’m glad you’re back.”

“Thanks, Johnny!” You start to load the display with freshly baked cookies and cupcakes as Johnny gets back to drinking his coffee.

If you knew the kind of person Jaehyun was..why would you decide to date him? Jaehyun had to have been hiding his identity from you, Johnny thinks to himself.

And robbing a banker? That’s a low, petty crime for Jaehyun. Why would he do something like that himself? Surely, he’d have one of his minions do it? There were many questions on Johnny’s mind as he sipped quietly. He knows he has to find the answers quickly so he can free you from the deadly man that is Jaehyun.

To Be Continued....

[compress1repress]

hi!! thinking about patrick x reader smau where she's like a female version of art personality wise and they argue over something (maybe she ghosted him because she needed to be alone etc) and it gets really angsty (she gets sneaky and mean when she's angry) idk

thank you <33 love all your smaus so much

thank you for the ask and for supporting my stuff hehe <3 i think i strayed a bit from the request im so sorry 😭 but i hope i got some of what you wanted!!

fwb patrick x reader silliness and angst (which is fairly quickly resolved bc im bad at conflict lol) enjoy :)

[daflangstlairde-art]

Recently I wanted to collab with some artists, and this is a collab with @toffeebrews !!

They made the sketch which is shown below (next to a cropped version). Toffee your style is very fun and full of energy, I enjoyed lining and rendering it a lot hehe !! <3 I'm happy you liked my idea of Ink rollerskating, and it's hilarious you put him on a hill xD

Ink belongs to comyet