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#eraser: sometimes i like different stuff and hate things i usually like and go by different names and talk to myself but its normal
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Pen, Eraser, Blocky, Woody, and Snowball from BFDI are all plural! Bonus under the cut
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who let sb get silly and woody get super cool!!! also here is the sb transparent on its own since i made it myself ^_^
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gatitties · 8 months
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Hey there, weird request but could you do maybe like I usually goth and quiet reader who seems like they'd hate white girl music, gets drunk, and starts Screaming/singing "call me maybe", and professes their love for Taylor Swift? Just a silly request from a silly delulu girl😍😋thanks babes👍
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─Strawhats, Kid Pirates & Whitebeard Pirates x reader
─Summary: You swear you hate white girl music and yet it only takes a little alcohol for you to know all the songs you swore you hated.
─Warnings: none
nahh it's okay, here we're all delulu (me too 😔🤌🏻)
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─ You spend a large part of the day listening to music, either in private or at a respectable volume in meetings so as not to disturb.
─ Everyone knows your tastes and how much you complain about music, especially if it's white girl music, they will never hear you listening to that kind of stuff.
─ You argue a lot with Brook about songs and sometimes Franky joins in, since they are both the ones who precede you in your obsession with listening to music at all hours.
─ Now, your sober and drunk side are different people, or at least, concepts of your personality that others should forget, we are not going to review all the embarrassing things you have done while drunk.
─ But something that they remind you constantly like breathing was that time you had too many drinks that your body couldn't handle.
─ It was in a bar while you were celebrating having liberated another island from some random tyrant, the atmosphere was great and you loved the music that accompanied it, but the moment you crossed that line, between sobriety and drunkenness, that's when you lost it.
─ You went crazy when “call me maybe” started playing, shouting at the top of your lungs, some of your comrades looked at you suspiciously, Luffy just followed you while Brook thought you were an imposter.
─ Robin had to take you to the boat that night while you ranted about your favorite artists, being the complete opposite of what you used to listen to on a daily basis, she wasn't the only one, because Nami ended up learning Taylor Swift's entire discography.
─ They asked Chopper for something to put you to sleep because you couldn't stop humming songs even with your eyes closed.
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─ Nobody, absolutely nobody except Heat, listened to that kind of music.
─ You expressed countless times your most sincere hatred towards white girl music, throwing hate at the main artists or songs in particular, everyone at Victoria Punk knew about your dislike towards the genre.
─ Maybe the only one who caught you listening to those songs was Wire, but you threatened to cut out his tongue if he said a single word about this.
─ Although it wasn't necessary, when in one of the many celebrations for defeating any strong opponent, you got drunk, putting aside your hatred and embracing your tastes closely that night.
─ Kid almost choked on his beer when he saw how both you and Heat started a dance battle that ended with both of you singing “Last Friday Night.”
─ Taking advantage of the fact that the next morning you would regret it, he recorded everything to show you, making fun of you was always fun for your captain, especially if it was his revenge for recording him canoodling with Killer at the previous party.
─ Even when most of the crew got tired or fainted from exhaustion, you continued giving your concert.
─ Killer had to drag you back to your bed after you vomited a couple of times on the way, listening to how you would describe fun facts from the album "1989", he patted you on the back and left you, hoping you wouldn't throw up again.
─ The next day you chased Kid all over the ship to erase that singing video from existence.
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─ Only Thatch knew about your guilty taste for that type of music, he was also a secret fan, since no one used to enter the kitchen apart from him and a couple of other people, you took advantage of that time to do private concerts.
─ The problem was that Ace discovered you while he was trying to steal food, and sometimes he has just enough neurons.
─ Probably not all the crew knew your musical tastes, but most definitely knew what kind of music you didn't like, because you were always complaining if any of those songs came on the radio.
─ Oh, everyone missed how you enjoyed the songs, moving your lips singing in silence.
─ The fact is that Ace, in one of his brilliant ideas, took you on stage in the middle of a party, although it wasn't something that caught everyone's attention, it definitely caught the attention of your closest people.
─ Not only were you drunk, but you also started singing “Don't let me down” with Thatch with everything you had, Ace joined in, slurring the lyrics but following the rhythm.
─ Izo knew it was time to get you off the stage when you started to wobble more than necessary, you hugged him to keep from falling, listing each of Taylor Swift's albums and each favorite song from her respective album.
─ The next morning you had completely forgotten what happened that night, more concerned with receiving Marco's hangover pills, he made fun of you for your performance but since you didn't remember it you just told him he dreamed it or something.
─ It was Whitebeard who made you remember what you had done that night, completely embarrassed not by singing those songs, but by the drunkenness you had gotten, you are glad to have such an understanding father right now.
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jennilah · 3 months
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hi there!
please do share your thoughts on canon vs non canon (TO YOU) scenes from saw if you feel like it
this seems like a fun topic to explore 👁
i was thinking about this all day im gonna hella ramble too much
to reiterate and expand on what i kinda said in that post's tags: im genuinely cautious when it comes to the canonicity of deleted scenes and script changes for most things because, well, things dont get included in the final product for a reason sometimes.
trust me i know about deleted scenes. ive had months of work erased from existence because of deleted scenes. and sometimes it really was for the best
and im equally if not more skeptical of things like.. lore coming from outside sources. if its not in the original media, its questionable. film novelizations, game adaptions, spin-off comics, all that stuff is usually written by some third party with little to no input from the real writers. unless it gets some serious seal of approval and that shit actually gets referenced in the next film, then im like "ok im listening." Otherwise, i shrug it all off as maybe-canon side adventures until contradicted
THAT SAID
sometimessss those nuggets of lore or characterization from deleted scenes/iffy canon off-shoot material are sick af so we just kind of adopt it anyway!!! we all do it!!!
ALSO
FUCKIN. The goddamn Saw franchise makes me insane with the different cuts of each film so we basically choose our favorite canon already. so. its a bit loosey goosey here sometimes
ok first of all i KNOW im gonna forget things so imma just kind of list and describe what i can remember off the top of my head. i dont actually have things like the scripts memorized i only know some moments that get passed around between us little freaks like drugs
like this one
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i dont care if this doesnt happen on-screen in Saw IV, it happens in my heart
and this little bit of characterization from all 3 goofballs here despite us not really seeing much of it in the film:
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Strahm being a butthead just interrupting Perez and Hoffman having a nice little talk because he hates his ass so much
Hoffman being more of the annoying little flirt that i know he is in my heart
Perez being charmed by him, the two of them having a cute little bonding moment as acquaintances for a moment there, and then STRAHM AGAIN being a butthead
i love them. i LOVE THEM
its very important to me that Perez kind of liked Hoffman. it makes his betrayal hurt so much more
this whole moment. i love this. ough. as much as i loved this scene already, in my head i pretend the scene played out like this....
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falls onto his ass
angel of death
my fucking goodness
also, i cant list off everything because theres so much its a little depressing, but there's a lot going on in the Saw 3D script that is tragically cool. they really leaned into Hoffman going off the deep end and i enjoyed that. and how grisly his scar was originally supposed to be, and the symbolism with his declining mental state. and his interactions with Lawrence being a little more fleshed out. its just kind of neat. i think the film would have been a bit stronger if they stuck closer to a few of their earlier ideas
edit: OH MY GOD HOW CAN I FORGET ABOUT DELETED FILMED SCENES LIKE THE ROCKSTAR MOMENT. THAT HAPPENED OK U CANNOT TELL ME OTHERWISE. and amanda is 100% haunted by what she did to Adam
and as for spin-offs that are absolutely not canon, this description of Hoffman from the video game from Tapp's POV is intriguing.
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i love annoying and weird colleague Hoffman but i also really enjoy the idea of shy and weird colleague Hoffman.
also, boring cop Hoffman who wont bend the rules? that is so much more interesting than the hashtag brutality moment.
too bad this game is like. well. yknow. not very good. i dont think thats a controversial statement
but you know what IS good?
Saw the Musical
thats canon to me. no notes
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leonenjoyer69 · 4 months
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I really love your art and your artstyle!!! I'm trying to learn to draw and I'm struggling to find a way to draw faces and especially eyes that I like, could you maybe share some tips on how you draw faces because omg I am so in awe of how cool your art looks! :D
FKEKVKKEKD OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH 🥺🥺 I'M SO HONORED
Honestly, the best advice I can give is to study tf out of art styles you like, bc that's exactly what I did with TGS. The amount of pages I just stared at and tried to lowkey memorize is ungodly, and once I started drawing the characters and trying to emulate sage's style, I kinda just kept getting better from there. My ability to draw poses and full body stuff also got exponentially better VERY quickly, TGS is just magic like that, I swear.
Also, for eyes specifically, referencing each characters eyes and testing different expressions is kinda the way to go. I use my physical copy of Vol 1 a LOT for referencing (especially for Hyde and Lanyon)
(A LOT more under the cut lmao)
Also, just drawing headshots of the characters over and over helps too, especially in pen! I have literal DOZENS of random 5- 10 minute pen doodles. The nice thing about the pen stuff is that, yeah, youll mess up a lot and not be super satisfied with most of them, but it forces you to be a bit more careful about how you place things and steadier with you hand, at least in my experience.
(The sillies)
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See? Most of them really suck, but they made me pay a lot more attention to what I was doing and what I wanted to do. It also helped me grasp quirks of the characters and drawing expressions a lot better. Plus, this isn't even all of them, I've got a bunch more in a little envelope I made.
Also, looking on Pinterest for pose references probably would also help, or taking pics of yourself for reference, but I'm built different (stubborn and lazy) so I rawdog my anatomy and poses 🗣️🗣️
Otherwise, I can also give a little doodle example with Whole Jekyll on how I currently draw in pencil and such :3
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Start with circle, then give it a nice center line and chin
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Then I throw in the neck and shoulders (which tend to change a decent bit bc anatomy is hard), the eye line, which goes through the middle of the circle, and then I like to do a line down the chest to figure out which way I want him pointing, since he's at a tilt. I also change this quite often, along with where I want the face pointing lmao. Once I've figured out direction, I draw the nose starting at the bottom of the circle and up to the eye line. I also then draw the top of the eyes first. The eye line (and apparently the center line 💀) is of course a suggestion, and I tend to mess around with the eye shape until it looks mostly right.
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Then the bottoms of the eyes and the pupils get thrown in, which I have to redraw pretty often to try and make them match better. I also usually leave the eyes blank bc I'm lazy af and can't draw pupils too well, I will shade them tho and that makes them look better.
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Then bbg gets ears (which I usually start around the corners of the eyes and go down to just above the little curve of the jaw), eyebrows (also just mess around with these til they look right) and a mouth (I HATE drawing mouths 😋😋), then they get their hair (also have to redraw a bunch)
Also, to show Whole Jekylls other eye, I pinned his hair back, so there's a treat, Whole Jekyll enjoyers <3 bbg can fully see 😍 (Mind Lanyon probably forced him too)
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Then I shade his eyes, give him clothes and fix up any quick things that were bothering me (in this his nose) and go back with the edge of a rectangle eraser and get those guidelines and extra lines out (sometimes they're still a little visible, but maybe just don't draw them as heavy handed as I do 💀) and Bada Bing Bada boom! Doodle done :3 of course its not the best, but it doesn't have to be, thats the joy of doodles
Heres another good pic to kinda show how I use my guidelines (and how messy my doodles usually are, it's part of my charm guys, I swear--)
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Otherwise like, my progress shots for drawings look goofy af lmao, like--
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Messy af, incorrect proportions, wrong anatomy, eugh. just takes time (and a lot of redrawing) to get to the final pieces.
But yeah!!! Eyes are annoying, it just takes a lot of tweaking and repetition.
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Like, I redrew some of these eyes a decent few times and some of them are still off, like cmon Lanyon, why you gotta be so hard for me to draw 💔
Anyways!!! Thats probably the best I can offer right this second lmao, sometimes I kinda wish I could record drawing and stuff but I don't do stuff purely digital often enough to. I do have a full speed paint for that drawing of Jekyll in Hydes mind clothes tho, so idk maybe I'll share that if anyone wants me to lmao.
But yeah! Thank you so much for the ask and the kind words, I hope this helps! or is at least entertaining lmao
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zishu-arts · 3 months
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can you brake down how you dodge your doodles and art i really want to do an art study of of your art style but im having difficulty
yeah !!
most times i just start sketching right off the bat and
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i still do the circle + line sketch but they get erased as i’m sketching
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i basically keep sketching and erased the messy bits all in one layer so it’s clean enough to be sort of a lineart because i hate doing actual lineart
then i do a base layer of color underneath that sketch/lineart
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and then afyer that is just shading/rendering !
this i do on a layer on top of the LINE — things do get messy but tbh i work better with that. i usually go over the lineart on the render layer with a different color but sometimes that makes it a little too thick so i also make a clipping layer above the lineart to recolor some parts
then i do some effects and stuff (glow, highlightd, that saturated blue + orange thing i saw on pinterst once). at the end, i add some white lines between parts that intersect or have multiple things so it helps makes stuff pop (idk if this makes sense but basically like add a line so they kinda stand out??)
at the top sometimes i add another layer with the color of the bg and set it to multiply and lower the opacity
here’s a speedpaint of the art
hopefully this helps :3
(if not feel free to ask me again and i’ll clarify)
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redux-iterum · 11 months
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Do you have any advice to help or prevent writer's block? I have a terrible habit of starting but never completing what I write. Also really excited for the Charred Legacy!
Hello and thank you! My advice splits into two categories of writer's block, which I'll call here Classic Block and Progression Block. Classic Block refers to the block people usually mean, especially when drawing: that you can barely write three sentences before erasing it all because it's awful and you hate it, leading you to sit around stewing in frustration that your skill level is so low. Progression Block, meanwhile, is the block where the actual work of writing something to completion is a Herculean task, even if you don't hate your writing style. The distinction DOES matter, as you’ll see.
To start off, Classic Block sources from your standards of writing not matching what you perceive to be your level of ability. Maybe you used to like how you write, but now all you see is the flaws. Your skills have leveled out or lowered instead of steadily increasing in quality – at least, that’s how it feels. This leads to you not writing at all, or only getting a bit done and then abandoning it because it sucks and what’s even the point and you’ll never make anything good anyway and so on. It’s the same thing as artist’s block, just with typing.
This brand of block has similar advice in every medium of art that it appears in, which is “study and practice”. The only way to get better is to examine where your faults are at and work to fix them. If you find how you write dialog unnatural, for example, you take a look at books or scripts you enjoy the dialog of and pay close attention to how the characters talk, or you find as many advice posts on the web as possible about how to create natural-sounding conversations, or even just listen in to people chatting in the real world. Like an artist studies anatomy and feels more confident about their improving work, a writer studies all the advice they can get and applies it to their story, and continues writing for practice until they get somewhere they’re okay with. It may not be as easy as artist’s block to conquer, depending on who you are, but it is doable.
Progression Block is a different beast, and I’ve certainly felt it before on my comics and writing. This is when you’re at the beginning or starting the middle of your project and you find yourself unable to continue on to the end. Maybe you’ve lost the adrenaline that the start gave you; maybe the prospect of a long-term story is too daunting; maybe you ran out of ideas or passion; maybe you don’t like the start now and you want to rewrite it before you continue; maybe (and this is the most common one) you’ve found yourself at a part of the story you’re not that excited about and it’s difficult to get through it. Whatever the case is, you’re good at starting ideas, just not finishing them. This is extremely common, so don’t feel bad about it. I can’t count how many webcomics or fics I’ve seen left to rot after about a month of work on them. I’ve done it myself, multiple times! We’re all at risk of it.
The biggest thing to address here is that, sadly, writing is not always going to be exciting. That’s just a fact. You are not going to be riding a high the entire process. You WILL get to something that feels more like homework than fun. This is a guarantee for every single project that goes on longer than a couple pages, and sometimes even the short stuff isn’t safe. This is not a horrible thing, it’s just something you need to develop methods to overcome. Discipline is important if you want to take writing seriously. There are ways to get through this: dinner-before-desert (the promise of “I have to write this dull chapter and I’ll get to write the scene I’m really excited about”), setting small goals to get the unfun part done a bit at a time (writing 200 words a day, or a couple paragraphs, etc), finding things to appreciate (like that joke you threw in or how pretty this scenery is), and having something occupying the senses to keep flow going (listening to music, mainly) are all tools I use myself to get past potentially weeks of writing that I’m not excited about. You do need to be a little stern with yourself, but the reward of getting to the thing you’ve been dreaming of since the start is completely worth it, I can promise that. You just gotta eat your dinner first, and then we’ll get you some ice cream. One carrot at a time. You can do this.
Something that can get to people is the prospect of being “stuck” with something for months or potentially years. The size of a project can be intimidating, I understand that. You’re doing this particular thing for god knows how long, and you have to do it on a regular basis if you ever want to get anywhere with it? That’s a little scary! I get it! But that does not mean you won’t have fun, or won’t ever be finished. It took me six years to complete a comic you can read through in one day, I’ve started one I know will take me at least ten, and Iterum itself is going to be a long fucking ride I don’t dare to guess the length of. I have had the occasional sensation of leaning on a table, bracing myself on my arms, staring down at a drink and thinking “Jesus Chirst” about how long all this shit will take me.
With that issue, I’ve personally found that taking joy in the process is the best solution. “Well, I do love writing these particular characters, I’m excited to see how they’ll grow over time!” “Planning chapters is a very chill way to spend my evenings while still giving me something to think about.” “It’s so exciting to have all these secret plot developments no one but me knows yet!” And so on. Like in life, you should appreciate the Now, not constantly be fretting about Later or Before. Learn to love typing out dialog and prose! It’s doable.
Of course, you should have a few thoughts about the future. That’s where planning comes in. Some people can make up shit on the fly and write a complete, excellent novel. I am not one of those people, and not many are. Some architecture is generally necessary. When I don’t have a set general path ahead of time for me to take as I write, I give up on things because I don’t know where to go next. Create your path, however vague or exact it needs to be! My advice on planning is to start with only the most major of story beats, arrange them in the order you want or need them to happen, and add smaller connecting lines to them, then connecting even smaller lines to those lines, slowly getting more and more specific and detailed as you zoom in on the story beat-by-beat.
Another thing that might help you keep at it is finding an audience – at least, it worked for me. When I started writing for real, I was doing choose-your-own-adventure threads in forums, and then a choose-your-own-adventure webcomic, where people got to send in commands to move the story forward. I could not get anything completed on my own to save my life, but having people participating and actively waiting for me to continue the story helped me develop the discipline and work ethic required to do the projects I’m doing now (and taught me how to improvise extremely well, as a side benefit). Your audience could be one person, or ten, or a hundred. Even if they don’t comment or regularly engage with the story, just knowing that someone is there waiting to see what happens next can be a good motivator.
One final thing: you may fall into the trap many do of looking at the small bit of stuff you’ve completed, not liking it, and wanting to go back and rewrite it, because this time you’ve got the skills to do it right.
DO NOT FUCKING DO THAT.
All that’s going to do is trap you in an endless cycle of “improving” what’s already there at best, and wear you out from going over the same old ground over and over and drain your love for the story at worst. You will not be fixing anything. Put it out and move on. Don’t keep trying to rescrub the same plate until you put a hole through it. You’re going to look back and think it’s shit. That’s normal. Doesn’t mean it’s true, or that you should waste time “fixing” it. Learn to go “well, I don’t like it, but I gotta keep going”. Get it done. It will never be perfect, and the sooner you understand that, the sooner you can get this project done.
That’s about all the advice I can think of for now. I hope this prattling helped you, at least a little bit!
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susiron · 1 year
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I’m still rlly bummed out about going to my local park right now.
For years now, mostly during late spring-early fall, I’ve been biking to the park in my neighborhood and drawing with chalk on the concrete of the picnic area. Part of the concrete sticks out away from the picnic tables so it’s a perfect spot to draw-- and it sticks out from under the roof so the rain usually washes it all away in a reasonable time frame.
I never draw or write anything derogatory. I mostly draw dragons, wolves, and other animals-- sometimes Pokemon, sometimes plants. Sometimes if there’s a holiday nearby, like Halloween, then I’ll draw something that fits the theme.
I’ve even drawn little “Happy Pride!” things before during June with gay and trans flags.
But earlier this week I went and drew with my chalk and I decided to include the gay and trans flags next to a doodle of a cat. I cannot stress enough that these were small drawings, and not at all the focus of what I’d drawn. They were just little doodles in the corner, completely eclipsed by a bunch of wolves and dragons and shit.
WELL, two days later I come back to the park, thinking I’ll just draw around what I left their earlier in the week-- only to find that someone had clinically powerwashed away everything I’d drawn.
And like, there was a brief moment where I thought “did it rain? did it rain and I forgot?” but I could see the telltale lines from a powerwasher
But it gets worse.
Cause if they’d powerwashed the entire thing, I could have just assumed that they didn’t like any chalk on the patio (despite this never happening before, over Years of drawing here), but... there were some doodles made by kids Right next to where I had drawn, and they were all left untouched. Faded doodles that had been there awhile, but they were visible enough that anyone who was cleaning this patio just for the purpose of cleaning it would have gotten rid of those two.
But no, they just got rid of my stuff-- all of it. And the only difference between this time and every other time was that my drawings had a gay and trans flag beside them outside of Pride month.
I drew a bunch that day after finding that out-- and I put back a new pride flags. Again, they weren’t the focus, but they’re there. They mean a lot to me and shouldn’t upset anyone, but like-- of course they do.
And I guess I just liked thinking that maybe there was no one in my neighborhood hateful enough to methodically wash away a little trans flag (because I can only assume that, of the two, was the tipping point). And now having proof that someone is is just... depressing.
With everything going on these days-- with all of the fucking hate directed at trans people like an arrow-- it’s just fucking upsetting that you can’t even put the colors down without someone needing to fight back and show just how much they hate you.
I’m a trans artist who has drawn in that park for years, and I’ve had nothing but positive interactions with people while doing so (excluding the First time I did it when I got harassed, but, well, that’s not important right now).
And god it just sucks that the moment you are like “this is important to me” all of that positivity gets tainted.
I haven’t been back there yet to see if the new flags got erased. Idk if they have been, and idk if I want to know if they have been. I also don’t really know if I want to make this an entire Thing, me trying to put it back every time it gets erased.
It’s funny, had they not erased it, I probably wouldn’t have drawn another one until June, but now... 
And now I’m worried that someone might approach me directly when I got there to draw, or maybe they’ll just start erasing everything I put down there as soon as I leave the park.
It just fucking sucks. I just wanna draw with some chalk and share some doodles, not feel like shit-- angry-- over it.
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astridthevalkyrie · 2 years
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sophie, what's your process for planning / outlining fics?
hi love! my process goes a bit like this:
random scene pops in my head - which happens all the time, hence my literal scene capture series
i let it stew for a bit, let myself see if any other scenes pop up, if they form any kind of story, if it lasts long enough for me to even want to write it—unless it's giving me a really good feeling, in which case i try to draft out a first chapter as soon as i can (usually leads to two pages of nothing that i never continue LMAO)
if the idea actually sticks, an outline will first start with me throwing in everything just so i don't forget what i have so far—example:
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so like, this is from the early outline of summer rain, but i still was writing stuff i didn't want to forget for the overarching story. the last point is for silent storms, and the second point was written because right away i knew i wanted her to face down traute in the future
i only ever start writing a coherent outline once i am ready to actually start writing the chapter
once i start outlining, it is always in bullets and usually organized by scenes
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so like, it's weird, what you can decide to outline
sometimes i write dialogue bits, sometimes i write random trivia that doesn't necessarily matter but i don't want to forget include in the scene—ie which members of ricky's family survived
you can also see me arguing with myself in the scene 3 section LMAO and the reason i don't just replace "goes to his office" with "goes to the stables" is because i want to remember what the idea was, where it came from, and why it changed. if anything, i can incorporate something from both, but i hate erasing anything from an outline
("and they all like they've seen hell" love the lack of grammar there queen <3)
and then sometimes when you actually write the outline goes out the window because when you actually do write it down it's just not what you're feeling, like in scene 3 levi doesn't say that last point (thank god what in the fuck was i thinking writing that goofy ahh sentence) and there's nothing in the outline that says they go on a horse ride, but when i wrote it, it just felt right.
also! you can see above that i've marked it scene 1, scene 2—you will absolutely get struck with a scene after you've finished, so sometimes it's easier to mark it like this
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some of these things are outlined in the same scene when they're actually in different parts of the chapter
but you also absolutely don't have to write in scenes at all—i do because i read and write in a very cinematic way
you also don't have to be thorough if you know what the scene is, then you're just wasting your energy tbh—"asks about tea and she says milk" does not make sense without context but i knew that that meant reader saying she liked milk and subsequently getting teased
i hope this helped! please let me know if you have any questions :)
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ben-talks-art · 2 years
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Gonna talk a bit about my first novel!
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Since I'm finally done with my favorite fictional characters list I'm just gonna start talking on this Tumblr about random stuff I like or random stuff I make until I find something better to discuss.
Gambit of The Living Weapon, is my first attempt at writing a web novel after getting really into this type of media during the start of the pandemic.
It's an "Isekai" story about a young girl named Evlin who gets sent against her will to a land of magic, demons, gods, and knights and is now forced to learn how to become a mage in order to journey through this new world and hopefully find her way back.
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The concept of Evlin was heavily based on Nanahoshi from "Jobless Reincarnation" since one thing that kept crossing my mind as I read that novel was "Oh my God, why wasn't the book about her!??"
I wanted her to be someone who, unlike most isekais, just hated this new world. She hates magic, she hates monsters, she hates being at risk of losing her life every time she steps foot outside her house... Basically, just someone who hated being in my story and desperately wanted to return home.
But I also wanted her to be someone who the reader would have fun following. I tried to give her a very sarcastic sense of humor as her coping mechanism to deal with all the dangers she faces as well as a very no-nonsense attitude so the story could move at a decently fast pace.
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One of my favorite parts about Evlin was coming up with her powers. Something I knew from day one was that I wanted her to have earth-based powers since I feel it's the least represented of the four elements, and the justification I used for that was that each mage had some sort of magic affinity and hers was transformation which meant she could transform the ground around her and even herself.
And from then on, the entire novel is just me trying to come up with ways to challenge this character. What kind of threats would be fun to see her face? What kind of characters would be fun to see her interact with? What kind of problems would be fun to see her try to deal with?
For some reason, anytime I tried to ask myself "How can I ruin Evlin's day today?" plenty of ideas would start flowing. I don't know why, I just have a really easy time coming up with ways to corner my characters.
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The hard part is later coming up with solutions to get out of these corners that don't feel like Deus Ex Machina, and to do that, I usually would rely on expanding the lore of my world with things like "You see, this whole time there was this really convenient thing you could do to help out your situation!" in a way that felt organic, or by having some character development for other members of the cast so they can help out her situation in their own way.
Sometimes it could be as simple as just listening to her worries, or sometimes offering a different point of view that nobody else thought of, to show why we need others to survive.
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The story is basically divided into three major arcs.
The first one "Lost Girl in a New World" is about Evlin and her friends trying to find her a way to get back home while dealing with monsters and demons.
The second one "The Mage's Niece" is about many antagonists from the first part coming back for revenge as well as new ones in the form of spirits that can take over people's bodies, and all of them going after Evlin's loved ones.
And the final one "My Own Personal Hell!" is about a dragon showing up that has a personal vendetta against Evlin and her special magic, and is doing everything he can to make sure all the magic of the word is erased from existence.
The second arc is my favorite by I love them all in their own way. Writing this novel was a very fulfilling experience and one of the things I'm most proud of doing.
There is a total of 300 chapters divided into 29 volumes. If possible I would ask you to give at least the first volume a try and see if it's your kind of thing!
It means a lot to me, and I hope it could mean a lot to you too!
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Link to the novel>>
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unavailable-fan · 2 months
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Just a rant on the topic of fighting anime/manga/movies/etc
I have a love-hate relationship with stories focused on fighting, like school gangs, anime delinquents, martial arts sort of things. I love them cause yeah cool action is so liberating to see, fights choreography is an art of its own, makes you wanna go out and use that muscle bag of your own too. I love all this "action as communication and expression of feelings" idea at least in theory and stories. But also violence irl sucks most of the time, but still some people get to have that fun through fights irl and sometimes no person involved actually suffered so it's cool, but it's rare. And that's probably something to talk through with a therapist but whatever. That i really really don't like about most stories of that type is that they're positioned like "straight guys expressing themselves as MEN, cause it's MANLY and of course they have their MANLY teenage problems and their rage that's how they grow into real MEN by solving them through fights ugh". And by positioned i really mean that and only that, cause there are lots of subplots that would fit proper queer story in those types of stories than in some stories about actual queer characters. And there's a message usually that's like "well, it's ok to feel rage" and that's cool, that's right, you need to express negative emotions to be able to let them go but you also need to learn to process them in a way that wouldn't cause too much harm, and sometimes it's a fight with an actually worthy opponent who also gets your rage and so on. I like this idea. But like, there's so much rage that needs to be expressed when you're actually a typical cis straight guy, if you differ in any of these parameters then there's a chance you wanted to like bite, scratch, fight through problems too. But you're told it's totally unproductive, or that it doesn't fit an image a group you belong to has in a society or something similar. And it's true, but also, hey, maybe wanting a story that actually represents this type of rage and want to express it is not that weird. Like ORV kinda gets it best from that i've seen and it uses this in later story and gods it's cool to be seen and feel like someone understands this. Where are my fighting girls who are able to learn to cope through fights of get to have this "i want to be stronger" type of story and live successfully through it? Where are my trans/nb/non-conforming fellas trying to find out how they want to approach the topic of violence and how to deal with it and who are just generally enraged by all the erasing and constant rebuilding of self cause that's what not fitting the norm can make you feel? Where are romances built on the ground of rivalry with an equal, or comradery, or trying to grow after being inspired by someone, or once again rage cause hey some things are difficult to navigate esp if you're once again realizing you're outside the norm? And once again, i actually love these types of stories as they are, that's how i first encountered them, of course i still like them. But hey, maybe that's just a path of genre i want to see explored in the future, and that's what i want to express. So anyway, violence irl - sucks, violence in art and stories - fascinating and can potentially help you deal with irl stuff better.
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kasarawolf · 1 year
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STORY UPDATE
Welp. I can honestly say that I hate the villain character in my story. Usually with the baddies I create, they have some sort of redeeming feature to them that makes me go, "you are awful, but I still like you!" But nope. Not with this one. Firsts. IhatethemIhatethempleasestopexisting. I hate writing them, but in a good way, not in a "OMG you're so stupid I should replace you way" but in a, they are just...awful way. Everything about them...lets just say they are...something alright. And I can't even upload their design or info on toyhouse either, I can only share what they look like with close friends ;o; The urge to draw spoiler heavy material this week has been strong please send help!!!
IN OTHER NEWS. Chapter 1 looks like it may be finished sometime this month! But it won't be uploaded till I at least finish most of Arc 1's writing.
Why wait to upload? I tend to let a chapter sit a bit then I go back with a clear mind and make sure it flows correctly/dialogue is not clunky/plot holes are erased/further editing/characters stay IN CHARACTER, important stuff like that. Yeah it's slow going, mostly because I am working on at least 50 chapters at one time. Everyone gets fresh perspectives and it depends on what my mood for writing that day is lol (Do I want to write sad? Happy? Chaotic?) and those are ones with titles, the others you don't want to know lol But when writing like that, it definitely gives a higher chance of other chapters being finished all around the same time :)
PAGE COUNT thus far: 378 Pages (not including the 21 pages of removed parts, that may be added back in for different chapters, (or maybe NOT who knows!!) the 34 pages of super roughs and the additional content still on my phone that I have yet to transfer over and page count)
A lot of the side/background characters, still have temporary names. Same with attacks and forms. I am so bad at naming things lol.
Annndd I think that is it for now!
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iwadori · 3 years
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Haikyu boys when they make you insecure PT 1 (Kenma,Kuroo)
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Part 1 Part 2  Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6.
Word Count:3k 
genre: angst, fluff
masterlist
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Kenma:
You and Kenma have been in a long distance relationship for a while.
Both of you stream, Kenma doing it seriously for his job and you just playing it for fun,
Sometimes you stream together of course but because of your difference in audiences and games you don’t do it all the time
“Bye guys! Hope you enjoyed todays stream” You wave off to the camera and shut off your PC taking a few sips of water.
Kenma: Hey.. nice stream today Y/N are you going to watch mine?
Y/N: Of course I will 
Kenma: Ok talk to you later
Y/N: okayy <3
Kenma is what inspired you to stream, he also taught you all the ins and outs of streaming making sure you were set and ready. Your gaming style was very relaxed and friendly as you obviously weren’t streaming as a career just for fun and to make friends with your online viewers. The games you played were usually: minecraft, COD, Sims 4, Roblox, Animal crossing and *Insert your favourite game here* the way I literally named all the games I play 
You wait for Kenmas stream to start, kind of excited as you’ve always loved seeing your boyfriend in his ‘element’ when it comes to playing to games. As your boyfriends stream starts you see he’s already chosen what game he is playing today which is to your surprise Call of duty, since that was the game you were playing earlier.
As he gets into the stream you are entertained, as always since Kenma was being his usual self laughing at his own deadpan jokes and interacting with his viewers. He is currently waiting for his capture the flag game to start so as he waits he decides to read some comments in the chat.
You’re used to the usual ‘Kenma where is Y/N I miss your usual streams together’ or ‘kenma please RAIL me’ which always makes you laugh. You were also used to the common hate comments Kenma and You both got on your streams but you were definitely not ready for this..
@ Ihatewomanandiamadick : Hey Kenma did you see your girls stream today she is so dog shit at COD lmaoooo jhdfkjdrhdrr
“Well hello ihatewomenandiamadick” started Kenma “but yes I did see Y/N stream and obviously she is not the best at games and I would definitely NOT ask her to team with me for any serious gaming competitions ... but she’s fun to watch I guess” as he finished speaking about you his game loaded up so he focused his attention on that the words he just spoke going to the back of his mind as they end up at the forefront of yours.
You obviously knew you were no match for Kenma’s gaming expertise but you didn’t expect him to publicly agree with a hate comment let alone add more of his imput on you. Did he really think that about you? ‘She’s fun to watch I guess’ did he not even enjoy your streams that much?
You wanted to distract yourself, and you definitely couldn’t do that watching him so you close off of his stream and get in your bed deciding to watch your favourite show. 
Waking up at 6pm after your sad nap, you see that Kenma has left some messages to you,
Kenma: hey did you watch my stream?
Kenma: do you want to facetime later and play some minecraft..?
Kenma: y/n r u ok??
Y/N: oh hey cnt play minecraft w you rn not really in the mood..
Kenma: oh ok..
Time passed since then a month to be exact and you basically dropped off of the face of the earth, you weren’t in the mood to do anything let alone game and stream, which was a constant reminder of your boyfriend (something you didn’t want at the time.) 
You felt embarrassed over all the things he said about you and all the things you now think he thinks about you and the way you play. Maybe he thinks even worse things about you, beyond just how you game? What if he doesn’t even genuinely like you...or he has someone else...it does make sense, you do both live miles and miles away from eachother AND he’s a big streamer you see the amount of girls in his comments.
You shake your head to erase your protruding thoughts coming in your mind, but it doesn’t really help. You and Kenma haven’t spoken much over this month he tried to constantly reach out to you at first but you assume he got bored over your constant, repetitive dry texts. So you were almost content with you and Kenma not even being in a relationship anymore.
However on Kenma’s side, he was beyond worried about you. Since you haven’t been streaming or barely responded to his texts he thought something happened to you, but he didn’t want to be seen as ‘overstepping boundaries’ if there was nothing wrong at all with you and you simply were just ‘not in the mood.’ 
So here he is, in Kuroo’s apartment trying to get him to help him out on finding out what is wrong with you.
“So kenma can you remember what happened the day when Y/N went ‘ghost’“ asked Kuroo in a mock detective voice
“Y/N didn’t go ‘ghost’ Kuro, and take this seriously” said Kenma “I’m worried bout her”
“Okay fine, but for real what’s the last thing you remember before she started acting all weird.” 
“Umm I think it was around a month ago I did my saturday stream and I think she was on it but she didn’t leave her usual nice comments throughout”
“Ohh that was the stream when you sai-” Kuroo said before pausing his words as the memory of what Kenma said about you on his stream came in his mind, as even Kuroo thought it was a tad bit harsh for Kenma to say all those things “I think I know why Y/N has been so distant kiddo”
“What why?” Asked Kenma
Kuroo pulls out his phone and brings up the clip off what Kenma said and Kenma’s face cringes ‘did he really say all those things about you’ he thinks. 
“Shit.. I didn’t know I said all of that” he said quietly “how do I make it up to her?”
“There’s only one thing you can really do Kenma” said kuroo
You are woken up out of your sleep by a knock on the door. Getting out your bed like a zombie, you trudge to your front door only surprised by what you see. There in his 5′6 glory stood your ‘boyfriend’ Kenma with a controller and a kitten teddy in his hand. You were very tempted to shut the door in his face and get back to your dreamless sleep but you waited on him to speak.
“Hi Y/N” he said quietly “wanna play some minecraft...?”
“Why so you can ridicule me on how shit I am?” You ask bitterly ready to shut the door on him
“No! No not all” he said stopping you from shutting the door entering your place “Y/N i’m really sorry on what I said, I wasn’t thinking AT ALL... I love watching your streams and I think you’re great at playing games...I was just being a dick,”
You take a deep breath before tears pool in your eyes “what you said really hurt me kenma..” you say “ I know people say shitty things on the internet all the time... it’s the internet. But I wasn’t expecting you to agree with the hater and say even more shitty things on top of that.. I don’t think I want to even stream anymore”
Upon hearing that, Kenma’s mouth parts open with shock ‘you dont want to stream anymore’ were his comments that bad? Now he feel even worse as he should and is now more determined to make things right. 
He impulsively drags your arm into your game room, catching your surprise ‘what is he up too?’ you think. He stops for a second seeing your usual pristine gaming set up, collected up with dust. 
“What are you do-” you start 
“Just wait!” He says, as he rushes away turning on all your stuff and logging onto his twitch account as he sees the views go up he starts to speak
 “Hi guys, its me kodzuken and today I’m here on stream with my beautiful girlfriend and today I want to say..” he turns to you “Y/N im so sorry for the horrible things I said to you that day... I was just being a dick and I’m sorry I really am.”
You look at the chat and you see some confusion and some people recalling his words from last month. “It’s fine Kenma, I forgive you” you say giving him a hug”
“Okay Y/N, so what do you say... wanna beat my ass at bed wars?” He says with a smirk 
“When have I ever loss?” you return his smirk
Of course you did beat his ass as bed wars for rounds on rounds never losing proving yourself to actually be a good gamer girl. You enjoyed your time with Kenma, forgetting what he said before about you and moving on. 
Eventually, you guys moved in together and streamed together all the time and yes you still do play for fun but you’ve gotten way better at COD (some may say better then Kenma) but who is better didn’t matter to any of you, as long as you got to play together that’s all you both cared about.
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Kuroo:
Kuroo and you have been together since you were in your first year of high school 
You met as friends first when you got him to tutor you in chemistry ( a subject you still aren’t that good at.)
Now you have your upcoming entrance exams for university in a month so your school has you doing mock exams in preparation for them.
20%
You look down at your chemistry paper that your teacher just handed you. 20%. You’re surprised, very surprised since out of all your subjects (that you go 90+% on) you studied on the chemistry test the hardest ensuring Testurou, that you didn’t need his help at all. But I guess it turns out, you did.
This failing mock grade put a blunder on your day, you didn’t interact with anyone and didn’t want to see your boyfriend so you skipped your usual routine of meeting him on the rooftop and went to the library instead ‘might aswell start early on your studying’ you thought.
As you were going over your chemistry topics, you hear an ‘ahem’ next to you and you turn your head only to find your boyfriend and his friends next to you. Kuroo with his usual goofy smile on his face. 
“Hey kitten where were you at lunch?” he asked 
“Needed to go to the library, Chemistry is kicking my ass” you mumbled 
“Oya” he said as he noticed your chemistry test laying under your textbook “20%, well damn Y/N I knew you were stupid, but I didn’t know you were that stupid” he laughed doing his stupid usual hyena-like laugh.
Ouch well that hurt. You slightly flinched at his words, “Really your name, you didn’t know the molecular formula for ethanol, that’s first year work” he said continuing to laugh “I’m pretty sure that’s one of the first things I tutored you on when we first met” 
His overbearing laughter was not good for you, you were already having a bad day and yes you do know your not that good at chemistry but you didn’t need your chemistry-enthusiast boyfriend to make fun of you for failing. Kenma and Yaku stood there awkwardly obviously aware of how bad Kuroo is making you feel but they didn’t really know how to stop his friend in the moment.Whilst he’s still dying of laughter you decide to pack up your stuff and leave the library.
You managed to get your Chemistry tutor to let you retake your mock paper in a week so that means, extra hard studying with no distractions you definitely can’t fail again. Since studying on your own was definitely not a good option, and you couldn’t go to Kuroo (especially after he ridiculed you) you decided to ask the second smartest person you know to tutor you.
Y/N: Hey Yaku! Can I ask you a favour?
Yaku: Hi Y/N what do you need??
Y/N: I have my chemistry retake next week, and as you know from your loud-loud friend I failed my recent test so can you tutor me?? 
Y/N: Pleaseeee
Yaku: Ok Y/N why can’t you ask Kuroo you know that he’d be more than happy to help
Y/N: Yakuu pleasee just help me out 
So there you was, nearly a week done with your study sessions with Yaku and you’re feeling way more confident than before. 
“Y/N what is the functional group of a Carboxylic Acid” Yaku asked
“umm... COO?” 
“Great! that’s correct Y/N” he praises i dont actually know if it’s correct or not
You then hear a knock at Yaku’s front door and hear his mum let the person in, Kuroo then enters Yaku’s bedroom with shock plastered on his face surprised to see you here.
“Y/N...hey?” he says confused “what are you doing here?”
“Oh Mori-chan is just helping me with chemistry for my retake tommorow” you say nochalantly internally smiling at the twinge in Kuroo’s face at the purposeful use of Yaku’s first name.
“So why didn’t you ask me to help you know I’m a chemistry whiz” he asks
“Maybe I’m too stupid to be taught under your tutelage” you mumble “since I seem to forget whatever you teach me, even when it’s 3 years ago... but ok”
“Y/N I-” he starts 
“Oh save it Kuroo, I have studying to do” you say cutting him off
“But I-” he tries
“So Mori-chan COOH is the function group of ethyl ethonate right?” you ask ignoring your boyfriend who is now at a lost for words
“ummm yeah it is” says yaku who is clearly feeling heavily awkward at the tension in his bedroom.
Kuroo leaves and you and yaku finish off the studying for the night, you did feel a little bad for being a bit mean to Kuroo but it’s karma for him being a dick to you. 
You wake up the next day ready for your exam which was first thing in the morning, before you hand in your phone you see a message from Kuroo,
Kuroo: I know you’re still mad at me, but I think you’re going to do so well on this test. You’re not stupid at all, you’re really smart and I love you < 3 
Kuroo: Good luck Y/N
You don’t respond to the message but smile at the sincerity of it and thankful for the boost of confidence it gave you before you start your exam.
Finishing the exam with a smile, you were confident you did well as everything you and Yaku went over was on the paper and you’re almost certain you atleast got more than 75%. You have to wait an hour before your teacher can give you your results, so in the meantime you might aswell reconcile with Kuroo.
When you exit the classroom, standing there was Kuroo who seemed to have been waiting for you for the whole duration of the exam.
“So how was it?” Kuroo asked, apprenhensive as he assumed you would just ignore him like you did at Yaku’s house.
“It was fine, I think it went alright..” you say
“Kuroo”
“Y/N”
You say simultaneously, he pauses for a second to let you speak “I’m sorry I was being so stand offish when we were at Yaku’s I just wanted you to see I could do it on my own, and when you called me stupid I really took that to heart since you and I both know that Chemistry wasn’t ever my best subject” 
“I’m sorry too, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad, and since it was only a practice test I didn’t think you’d take it to heart but I am sorry I know you aren’t stupid.”
Before you got to say anything else, your Chemistry teacher exited the room with your chemistry paper in hand. Kuroo grabbed your hand anticipating your nerves and gave it a gentle squeeze.
“Miss L/N” said your teacher “Well done on your chemistry test” he turned your test around to sure a perfect 100%. Both you and Kuroo gasped, you were elated to say the least you wanted to jump up and down in excitement but a PERFECT 100%.
“I’d also like to add that you have now got the top chemistry score in the school beating the previous title holder Kuroo Testurou” said your teacher, this made Kuroo open his mouth even wider in surprise nearly making you giggle at his response. 
Your teacher took his leave, leaving you and Kuroo in the hallway “ I guess i’m the chemistry whizz now “ you say wiggling your eyebrows just as Kuroo did to you before at Yaku’s this made him chuckle as he came to put his arm around you.
“Y/N don’t get ahead of yourself now, you may have won this battle but I will win the war” he said smiling
In the final exam, you continue your winning streak also getting a near 100% and still beating Kuroo which didn’t matter to either of you, now you’re just like him cracking chemistry puns and jokes all the time which none of your friends appreciated but atleast Kuroo found them SODIUM funny.
AN: Please kill me for the last line of Kuroos, I didn’t really like Kuroo’s since it was a bit self indulgent with my hate for chemistry but what do you guys think?
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strawwritesfic · 3 years
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Logical Fallacy Master List
Summary: Q’s got one hundred and two problems. His girlfriend is, technically speaking, every single one.
Challenge:  “102 Things A Guy Should Know About Girls” challenge by Miss Chocobo on Lunaescence Archives.
Ratings/Warnings/Tags: T (foul language; sexual references; asexual!Q; sexual!reader; a running gag about sexual harassment; double standard: sexual harassment, female on male; sexual harassment played for comedy; James Bond & Reader friendship; civilian!reader; artist!reader; complicated family relationships; reader has a really big family; miscommunications; MI6 would not behave this way in reality; set post-Skyfall; joking references made to Bond/Q)
Pairings: Q/Female!Reader; James Bond/Eve Moneypenny
Notes: Way back in the year 2013, I was dragged against my will to a showing of Skyfall while on vacation with my family. I had no experience with the James Bond franchise outside of my parents watching a marathon of the old, old movies during a different vacation when I was in elementary school. I expected to hate the film. Instead, by the time the opening credits rolled, I was completely in love.
That being said, I do not consider myself a serious fan of the series. I’ve never bothered to watch the rest of the non-Craig movies and decided after trying to slog my way through the Casino Royale book that I would rather light the written James Bond on fire than read any of Fleming’s other works.
I’m in it for the hot people and the gorgeous cinematography, folks, and this collection is about as silly as they come. I imprinted asexuality onto Q from the start, wanted to write some stories about his adventures with his decidedly-NOT-asexual girlfriend, and this was born. I’m under no delusion that the British Secret Service works this way in reality or in the media I consume.
Please keep in mind as you read the chapter titles that I “disprove” some of the “rules” in the challenge, so there’s no need to get all angry if a “rule” offends you. And sometimes I might “prove” a certain rule, but that doesn’t mean that I necessarily approve of that behavior personally. This is mostly supposed to be a fluffy, comedic story, and almost nothing is to be taken all that seriously.
And here is the usual reminder for any of my Bond stuff: I am not British. I know no British people willing to “Brit Pick” for me. If you have corrections, you are more than welcome to inform me of them, and I will do my best to incorporate them as I go.
As of 2/22/2022, I have not seen No Time to Die, so there will not be spoilers for that movie in this collection! In fact, there aren’t any spoilers for Spectre either, because I really, really didn’t like that movie. All references to the Craig movies stop with Skyfall.
As of 03/04/2023, I have seen No Time to Die, but I thoroughly disliked it and Spectre, so there are not likely to be any calls forward to those particular films. And yes, that means that I understand that the Q in the Craig films most likely shares the sexuality of his actor. I am by no means attempting to erase his sexuality with this story. 
Posting Status: Incomplete & In Progress
Rule #1: Do not cheat on a girl.
Rule #2: Be aware of all your girlfriend’s guy friends, brothers, fathers, etc.
Rule #3: Never miss an opportunity to tell her that she’s beautiful.
Rule #4: If she slapped you hard, you probably deserved it.
Rule #5: Do not be afraid of holding her.
Rule #6: Every girl should eventually get three things from her boyfriend.
Rule #7: Make sure she gets home safely as often as you can.
Rule #8: If a guy is bothering your girlfriend, it is your right to beat the shit out of him.
Rule #9: If you’re talking to a female friend of yours, pull your girlfriend closer.
Rule #10: Never, ever slap her.
Rule #11: Go along with her to a chick flick every once in a while.
Rule #12: If you’re officially dating and you’re introducing her to your friends, you’d better introduce her as your girlfriend.
Rule #13: Girls are fragile.
Rule #14: Memorize your girlfriend’s birthday.
Rule #15: Don’t drench yourself in the cologne,
Rule #16: You don’t have to spend a million dollars on a gift.
Rule #17: Don’t ever lie to us. 
Rule #18: Don’t say you understand when you don’t.
Rule # 19: Remember: Girls are pretty, but yours is the prettiest!
Rule # 20: Saying something sweet might get you off the hook.
Rule #21: Size does matter.
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quirklessidiot · 3 years
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title : cigarettes and parfaits [4]  pairing : older!nanami kento x younger!reader [13 year age gap, ft toji fushiguro] Genre: romance, fluff, slice of life, josei, angst, comedy, strangers to lovers au
Summary: you’re pretty sure you’d remember marrying a man 13 years older than you, right? Warnings: alcohol, smoking, mild smut, y/n making stupid decisions, cliche fluff, everyones a human-au so yeh non-canon stuff and everyone’s happy (periODT)
Notes: lil development right there HAHSHSHHS , yes tojis appearing soon guYS hddhdhdh thank u for ur patience ily all and yall stay safe and drink lots and ltos of water!! sorry for the late update!
Masterlist || taglist || [prev ; next] [updates; every saturday!]
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You stare at the ring on your hand as you stand next to Nanami Kento in the grocery shop, you and him have agreed to see each other and go out once a week while fixing up the divorce papers. 
Last week you both had gone to a cafe after work but had to end early since Yuuji had fell down the stairs (despite being athletic, the boy was awfully clumsy). This week, you both decided to do something mundane.
Grocery shopping.
“Hm, what does Yuuji think about this?” You asked, showing the man some bars of rice krispies, “He seems to be a sweet-tooth.”
“Sukuna is the sweet-tooth, Yuuji isn’t really picky with food.”
“Huh,” You hummed,  “Sukuna seems so soft despite all the tattoo’s.”
Nanami rolls his eyes at your statement, “He’s just, as kids like to call these days, a nerd.” he retorts, taking the peanut butter off the shelf and carefully placing it in the grocery cart, “He enjoys mathematics and art,”
“Ah, hence the tattoo’s.” you thought out loud.
“I almost lost it when he went home a few months ago looking like that.” He sighs, running his hands through his hair, “It was a sign of rebellion, saying that he didn’t want to move to Tokyo.”
You chuckled, eyes on him, “Must’ve shot up your blood pressure, Kento.”
He clicks his tongue in dismay, the memory still fresh. Nanami Kento    unlike what Gojo Satoru said    was a very easy person to like and accompany. Ever since that ‘mild’ mishap two weeks ago, you’d have calls and little quick meet-ups aside from the once a week dates. 
At times it felt like the little wedding at the Izakaya hadn’t happened, it was as if you were just going out with him.
Nanami Kento didn’t even have to try so hard to make you comfortable, he was just...there and everything just seemed right. He had easily fit right in with your routine.
You continue to watch him and he stops in the middle of his tracks, blinking heavily, “Ah,” he mumbles, placing a hand over his eye.
“Oh,” you paused in your tracks too, “Are you alright, Kento?”
“Just dust,” He mumbles, “It probably got in.”
You hold back a laugh, how mundane, “Here, let me…”
You slowly take his hand away from his face, his eyes shut tight, trying to hold in the pain from the dust getting in his eyes, “Do you mind bending down a bit lower, Kento?” you ask, “I’ll have to blow it out of your eye.”
Nanami follows your orders and bends down. You slowly cup his cheeks and lean in closer to his eyes and softly blow. You notice the slight twinge of his body, the reaction making you inwardly giddy, “Feel better?” you whispered.
The older man opens his eyes and only then do you notice just how close you two were with each other. For a moment, movement around you is slow and you don’t even notice Maki Zen’in standing right in front of you along with Yuta Okkatsu.
“Sensei?”
You finally snap back to reality when you hear that very familiar voice calling you out. It seemed like Nanami had been caught up in the moment too, “Oh,” You cleared your throat, letting go immediately of Nanami’s face and jumping back, “Maki-chan.Yuta-kun. What a surprise.”
The young girl narrowed her eyes while Yuta’s ears were evidently red, signaling that he felt very embarrassed to walk in on that moment, “Hi sensei.” Yuta greets, clearing his throat, “I-uh sorry about that, I told Maki to walk away and-”
“It’s fine, Yuta-kun.” You laugh, a bit nervous. What would happen if she told Yuji and Sukuna about this? You knew how Maki was sort of close with the twins, although she did not know who Nanami was, she may describe him and if the boys were smart enough to catch on with it, you’d be entangled in it pretty quickly and you weren’t ready to meet them as their ‘oji-san’s’ partner. 
You were a bit nervous and it was showing.
Nanami takes quick notice of this and slowly wraps his fingers around yours, a small smile appearing on his lips, “Good afternoon, you must be my partner’s students.” he greets, the man had a way with younger ones, you could only imagine how he was as a father figure to the boys growing up,  “It’s nice to finally put some faces on the kids that Y/N loves to gush about.”
Unlike your nervousness a while ago, this man is calm, cool, and collected. You almost envy him at how good he’s doing this.
“At least you picked someone better than Toji-ojisan.” Maki nods, “This guy looks actually more serious with life than him.”
You feel Nanami’s brow quirk up at what she just said.
“A-Anyways, Sensei…” Yuta clears his throat, “We’ll leave you and your boyfriend together. See you at Math class tomorrow!” He hurriedly grabs Maki’s wrist and zooms away at a speed of light. Leaving you two awkwardly standing there.
“Toji?” Nanami asks, curiously peering at you, “An admirer, I assume?”
“Megumi’s otosan.” You mumbled, embarrassed, “He likes to play jokes and all that. It’s nothing serious.”
“Hm.” he mumbled, a small dismayed look crossed his features and you wonder why, “If he does anything uncomfortable, you can pull my name out. I wouldn’t mind.”
“I’ll be sure to take note of that.” 
You both continue your way down the grocery aisle, not even noticing that he still has his long hand wrapped around yours.
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“Y/N-sensei…” Nobara drawled, placing her head on top of the wooden end of the mop, “How come we never knew you had a boyfriend?”
“Oi,” Megumi growled, “You’re supposed to be cleaning.”
“You’re just jealous that Y/N-sensei didn’t get to be your new okaasan.” Nobara bit back, putting her tongue out. You watched as the raven-haired boy chunk the blackboard eraser at her direction, a vein popping in his forehead.
“Stupid,” He replied, “I’d never let Y/N-sensei near the jiji.”
“What’s he like, Y/N-sensei?” Junpei asked, tapping his chin, cutting the argument short,  “I heard Maki-senpai talking about him.”
You watch as Yuuji placed his head on his best friend’s shoulder, “Yeah, she was telling me how older he looked than you.” he exclaimed, you nervously gulped down. Yuuji sure wasn’t helping the situation at all.
“Well,” You chuckled, trying to remain calm and oblivious, “He’s nice and he has kids.”
“Ha.” Sukuna droned, stopping whatever he was doing,  his punishment     despite not being given any by Nitta    was helping the cleaners clean for the whole week, much to his dismay, he had to follow or you’d be giving him a slip, “You’re dating an old man? I thought the reason why you didn’t date the Zen’in-jiji was because he was old and he had kids.”
“Oh.” you looked down on your books on the desk, embarrassed, “I don’t have a problem with kids. In fact, I’d love to meet them.”
“Wah,” Yuuji’s eyes were sparkling now as he hurried in front of you and placed his elbows on top of your table and head on top of his hands, “I hope I really get to meet someone like you, sensei.”
“Stupid, I doubt any sane person would want to go with you.” Nobara said across the room, making Yuuji glare at her and started teasing her.
You chuckled once again at their antics. Meanwhile Sukuna continues to stare at you, eyes narrowing especially at the ring on your ring finger. For some odd reason, it held quite the familiarity.
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Yuuji likes to think that Nanamin is the best godfather out there, technically, he was like a father to them already. So he had always wondered why he never got married, he was sure that when they were out a few times, many women would crowd for their ojisan. 
His father’s very close friend, Haibara-ojisan had mentioned one fleeting moment back when he was babysitting them that Nanamin was very secretive on who he liked that even he didn’t know if he’d ever been in a relationship.
But things were different these days, for the past two weeks, he’d have one day wherein he’d go home later than usual. It was odd to say the least    and not like he minded really, they were high school kids after all     since Nanamin hated overtimes.
He mentioned it to Sukuna but his twin just rolled his eyes and said, “Man probably needs to chase the bag or something, he technically is paying for this nice house and two freeloaders here.” 
Yuuji doubted it though! Nanamin earned pretty well and he didn’t really need overtime since he was technically the boss or so he heard from Geto-ojisan a few nights ago.
So while he was making them some katsudon for dinner that night and Yuuji was doing some homework for your class, he decided to ask the question.
“Saaay, nanamin-ojisan…” he drawled, placing his pen down, “You’re coming home a lot later than normal these days…”
The older blonde turns to the younger twin, face still straight-lace and stoic, something that Yuuji was accustomed to, “Work has me by the neck.” he replies shortly.
“Every wednesday’s?” he quips, tilting his head to the side.
“Yes.”
“You aren’t dating anyone?”
Silence erupted between them, the only sound could be heard was the sizzling of the chicken on the pan, “What made you say that?” he asked stiffly and maybe, if Yuuji was ignorant, he wouldn’t have noticed the slight twitch of his brow but he wasn’t.
Yuuji prided himself to be an observant person, someone had said he could pass off to be a detective in the near future, he had the agility and the observation skills (sukuna said otherwise though and said he’d get himself killed if he were to ever enter that field)
“You sometimes have that weird look on your face when you look at your phone.” the boy pointed out, “But Sukuna says you’re just chasing the bag so maybe he’s right, he’s kind of the smarter twin after all.” he mumbles the last part with great disdain.
Nanami lowers the fire on the stove and places his hands on the counter in front of Yuuji, “What if I told you I was sort of seeing someone?” he mused, humoring the young boy. 
“Are you really?” Yuuji’s eyes widened, surprised written all over his features, “What are they like, Nanamin-ojisan? Are they pretty? Do they know about us?”
“Oi what’s the noise about?” Sukuna’s raspy voice cuts through Yuuji’s excited one as he enters the kitchen, hair still wet from the shower and in house clothes with a towel hung on his neck.
“I told you Nanamin-ojisan was seeing someone!” Yuuji yelled, eyes sparkling since he was right this time, he quickly returned his gaze back to the older man, “When do we get to see them? Are they nice? How’d you guys even meet?”
“You’re seeing someone?” Sukuna spat, eyes wide in complete surprise, “How’d you even get someone to stay around with your uptight attitude?”
“Yah!” Yuuji yells, “Nananmin-ojisan is nice with women unlike you, no wonder girls are very scared to approach you!”
“Shut up,” Sukuna grumbles towards his twin then turns towards his godfather, “How the hell did you even meet?”
Nanami just shrugs, telling them they’ll know soon enough as he returns to his cooking. The boys seemed to dislike his answer though and continued to bug him. After cooking dinner and having their fill, he returns to his room and whips out his phone, a text message from you saying, ‘hey, the boys asked me about you earlier. They heard from maki-chan.’
The blonde wonders if he weren’t drunk, would he even consider doing this sort of thing? Dating was really out of the question, he admits he isn’t in the right place to go out with anyone especially with a young person like you. 
He thinks he’s taking advantage of the power-dynamics since he’s older.
He doesn’t even deny how weird it was that you're still hanging around him especially when you had a far richer man as one of your admirers. Satoru may or may not have overhead Yuuji gossiping about you one time and your ‘relation’ with Megumi’s father, it was definitely a small world and judging from the Toji you had mentioned a few days ago, it wasn’t hard to connect the dots that it was actually Toji Zen’in, a member of one of japan’s high business clans.
He shakes his head before pressing the call button, it only takes a few rings until you answered, “Hey kento.” You greeted, “What’s up?”
He hears the sound of a whizzing electric mixer on the other line.
“Boys gave you trouble?”
“No,” he could almost feel the smile on your words, “They were just surprised I liked a man with kids.”
“I reckoned, Yuuji seemed to have caught up too in my side. Been asking why I’m going overtime.” 
Silence settled between you two for a moment and Nanami wonders if you’re scared out of your wits. You might be backing out this deal after testing those waters, “Maybe you should tell me when I could meet them then? We wouldn’t want them to run into us during one of our outings or when we’re fixing up the divorce.” you replied softly.
“Hm,” he mumbled, “I’ll be sure to ask them about that. For a temporary setting, you sure take this matter quite seriously, Y/N.”
“Well, I did say I’d help you out.” 
A small smile reaches his lips as he hears your small and shy voice. It seemed like having people to check up on you by the end of the day wasn’t so bad, after all.
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taglist [if crossed out, i can’t tag u ; - ;]
; @coldbookworm  ; @frankenstein852  ;  @neavil  ; @shephard17895  @kristineyoshaii ; @airybnb ; @okachansenpai ; @amortentiaxo ; @rinvtaro ; @franko-pop ; @kozutenshi ; @kaldoesthings ; @moonlitdabi ; @chococroissant ; @bleepop ; @kaldoesthings ; @moonlitdabi ; @chococroissant ; @pettybroccoli ; @nixxona ; @kiyoo-omi ; @omibaby ; @bokkunto ; @peccobagnaia ; @sangwoahbigbussy ; @inu-makki ;  ; @megumiisee ; @softieelorelylove ; @azellianna ; @haruhuiii ; @restless-human67 ; @tsukkisfatsimp ; @taihjj ; @shayiswifey​ ;  @roione​
@Kurok1717 ;  @hcn421 ;  @shinhiromi ;  @airybnb ; @katshuya ; ​@atsuhaya ;  @donotcallagain ; @answerthesirens
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supercorpkid · 3 years
Text
The price of magic.
Supercorp, Kara Danvers x Daughter!Reader, Lena Luthor x Daughter!Reader
Word Count: 2210.
Turns out the price of magic was higher than you had anticipated. You’ve been away for more than a year, but for your family it was nothing but a week. Sure they’ve missed you and they were out there looking for you with no clue of where you could have gone. But for you?
A year in Storybrooke was experiencing your life as you’ve always imagined. Being yourself in its totality. No Luthor name hanging over your head, no hiding yourself behind glasses or a red and blue superhero suit. It was being both Kryptonian and human at the same time, with no fear of judgment or dislike.
Storybrooke was like going on a super long vacation; so long it made you forget all of your problems. But that doesn’t mean that your problems went away. They came back as soon as you stepped foot in National City.
The price of magic was feeling guilty for being happier somewhere else. It was walking into your bedroom and feeling at home but also somehow not at all. It was walking around the craziness of National City and feeling suffocated like you’re in a crowded room full of empty faces. It was missing the words ‘honey’ and ‘sweetheart’ when people were referring to you. It was having a crazy number of options of take-out food but wanting nothing except the food in Granny’s diner.
And you weren’t the only one to pay the price. You can feel how high it was for Kara and Lena too.
“Mom?” You sit up on the bed, looking at Lena standing in your bedroom watching you sleep. “What are you doing creeping over my bed at-” You look at your alarm clock. “3 in the morning?”
“I had to be sure you were still here.” Lena says, sounding small and scared.
“Mom, I’m not going to disappear from my bedroom in the middle of the night.” You say, trying to reassure her, but it backfires you.
“You can’t blame me for thinking that, because you did.” She holds your arm, and you hear the cry in her cracked voice.
“Would you feel better if you stayed here with me?” You make space for her. Lena hum in agreement, lying next to you. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m even more.” She kisses the back of your hand. “A whole year without us. You were probably so scared we weren’t looking for you.”
“I knew you were.”
“You got so tall, and we weren’t even there to see it!” Lena complains and you give her a sad little smile, even though she can’t see your face at all in the darkness of your bedroom.
“Well, I chose a weird age to have a growth spurt .” You joke, but you don’t get a laugh in return. You sort of always knew when you would get taller. It was the same with Kara. You were always very anxious to turn 17, because that was the age she actually grew more. But the weird thing is that you’re not really 17 now. Like Kara is not really 70.
“Come here.” Lena hugs you and you settle back. You’re almost drifting off to sleep when she whispers. “Don’t ever leave again.”
You can’t promise that you won’t. Stranger things have happened in your life, you don’t really feel like you have control over that anymore. And weird as it may seem, you also don’t want to have control over that. Because if you had, if you could have chosen, you probably wouldn’t have met some of the people that you love so much now.
“Hey!” You walk in the kitchen, to both Kara and Lena still having breakfast despite how late already is. “What are you two doing?”
“Having breakfast.” Kara explains, like it isn’t obvious.
You look at the clock. “It’s nine.” You raise an eyebrow at them. “And it’s Monday.”
“Yes.” Lena agrees.
“On Mondays you go to work, and Kara does her usual Kara’ stuff.”
“You were gone for a week. Even if L Corp burned down in flames I wouldn’t leave your side today.” Lena answers you, and you smile softly. You look at Kara next.
“Oh, well, if L Corp was burning up in flames I probably would have to go to put out the fire.” She says but adds in a hurry. “But I would be here five seconds later!”
“Ok.” You chuckle. “I thought I would go see Jamie and Maya on their lunch break, but if you two want me to stay-”
“No! Baby, no. Go see your cousin and your girlfriend. They were missing you too.” Lena hands you your phone. “There’s a lot of texts from them.”
“Oh, a phone! God I haven’t had one in a while.” You smile scrolling through your messages, ignoring your moms questioning looks.
“So, maybe you could tell us how was your life there.” Kara asks, but you’re too distracted with your phone to notice. You haven’t used one in a while, not because there weren’t phones in Storybrooke, but because you didn’t need them. It was a super small city, you could find anyone easily, and because Emma and Charming were sheriffs, you all used radio transmitters to talk. “Hey? Little one, helloooo.”
“Sorry momma.” You put your phone down. “What did you say?”
“We want to know about your life there. I mean, for us it wasn’t that long, but for you it was a whole year. You probably did lots of things.” Kara says and you agree with your head.
“Yeah, I guess.” You shrug. “I used to help mom Emma out with the saving, and oh, mom Regina helped me with my panic attacks. And I’m a lot better at controlling them! Henry and I used to watch this awesome TV show that I probably won’t ever know how it ends now. And grandma taught me archery.”
“Oh, that sounds-” Lena thinks about it for a second. “Fun.”
“Yeah. It was so great. And every night all of us would get together at Granny’s diner and talk about our days, and sometimes I would go hang out with Belle in the library, so I read all the books there. And if I had stayed a little bit longer and turned 18 there, then grandpa would’ve taught me how to use a gun.”
“A little bit? It would’ve been a whole other year!”
“For me, I guess.” You shrug again. “Just another week for you. And I would’ve been cursed anyway, so it wouldn’t feel so bad.”
“Wait. Wait. Wait.” Kara stops you, looking confused. “You wanted to stay?”
“No!” You think about it for a second. “Not stay. No. Just-you know-If I had perhaps stayed longer then yeah, it would’ve been fun to learn that.”
“You can learn how to use a gun here!” Kara says, and Lena furrows her brows.
“No, she can’t.” She looks at you. “No, you can’t. Maybe when you’re older.”
“Right. Moms wouldn’t let me touch a gun either.”
“We are your moms.” It’s out of Kara’s mouth like she hadn’t given much thought to it. But you know she has, because she looks stung. You’ve noticed how she flinched every time you referred to Regina and Emma as moms, but it’s out of your mouth before you can stop yourself to think about it. For a year that’s what you’ve been saying every day. It’s hard to call them just anything else. Almost disrespectful even. But you don’t want to make Kara and Lena upset, so you have to watch out for that.
You try to say something after that. But it’s like your mind keeps erasing itself. ‘Ok, fine, sorry, sure you are momma!’ are all things that almost make it out of your mouth. Instead, you settle for, “Can I have some M&M pancakes?”
“Sure, babygirl.” Lena gets up and gets behind the counter. You go back to your phone, too embarrassed to look at Kara again. She doesn’t say anything about it either.
You talk about other things. They tell you how crazy it was to find you, and what they did all week while you were gone. Apparently it was mostly crying and blaming themselves for your disappearance.
“Hey, where are you going?”
“To school. To see Jamie and Maya.”
“Where are your glasses?” Kara asks and you touch your face to realize that you haven’t been wearing them at all.
“Ugh.” You grunt and mumble right after. “I hate those stupid glasses. Can’t believe I have to wear them again.”
You run to your bedroom and find an old pair tossed around. Stupid disguise. Stupid glasses. Stupid secret identity.
“Ok. Can I go now?” You ask when you make it back to the living room.
Lena lets out a forced smile out of her lips, and Kara gives you the most awkward thumbs up in history. Well, there’s a lot to unpack there. So maybe leave it for later.
“Hey!”
“No way in hell!” It’s Jamie’s first response when she sees you in front of your old school. “You grew taller in a week?”
“Something like that.” You smile finally looking down on her. Rao, it feels so good to finally be taller than Jamie. You’ve been hearing about it for years! “Hey, babe.”
“Holy fuck, look at you!” Maya says with the biggest smile on her face. “I don’t see you for a week and you show up here looking like a superhero!”
“Well…” You give her a little side flirty smile. “Is that a good thing?”
“You look great, babe.” Maya’s arms go around your neck and she tiptoes to kiss your mouth. You hold her by the waist, making it easier for her to kiss you.
“God, I’ve missed kissing you.” You let out after you part your lips.
“It’s been a week, stop being so melodramatic.” Jamie rolls her eyes, and you smile, letting go of Maya to hug her too.
“I’ve missed you too, dipshit.”
“Oh.” Jamie lets out a surprised sound. “I guess you’re not so dramatic then.”
You want to tell them, right there, about how it was not just a week. About your different life in the past year. But the girls from your school who used to bully you pass right next to you, and your heart beats faster anticipating the teasing.
But they don’t say a thing. In fact, what they say after they pass you, and you catch using your super hearing, is that you must be a new student. You smile, relieved. Getting taller and cutting your hair. You wish you had known it would make your life a lot easier.
“Ice-cream?” You smile at them and get positive responses at that. Two hours with them and it feels like you’ve never left. Feels good to be with them. It makes you remember that even though your life in National City is not always easy, it’s still pretty great. And that you shouldn’t take that for granted.
You and Jamie walk Maya home, and you’re not even scared of her parents' reaction anymore. It’s not like they’ll recognize you, anyway. And later, you fly Jamie back to her house. You say a quick hello to Alex and Kelly, then fly back home.
“Hey.” You throw yourself on the couch between your moms, with a smile on your face. You look at the box of donuts in front of them, just sitting there waiting for you to arrive and your smile grows wider. “Sorry I was gone for a while. But can I make it up to you both with some hugs and forehead kisses?”
“Oh! Me first!” Kara asks and you smile, throwing your arms around her, and resting your chin on her shoulders.
“You’re my mommy. No one will ever take that away from you.” You whisper in her ear, and feel Kara’s body fully relax in your embrace, while she lets out a relieved sigh.
“I love you more than words can explain it, kid.” You smile and let her go a little, just to look into her eyes.
“I know the words.” You rest your forehead against hers and smile. “You’re my heart.”
“You’re my heart, little one.”
“Can I get a sweet moment like this too?” Lena asks and you chuckle, pulling her close for a tight hug.
“You also don’t have to worry about anyone taking your place.” You say softly in her ear. “You carried me inside of you for nine months, and I’ll carry you inside of me for the rest of my life.”
“Oh God.” Lena says, choking up and wetting the back of your t-shirt with her tears. “I swear this is the loveliest thing someone has ever told me.”
“It’s true.” You smile and kiss her forehead right after. “I love you mom.”
“Oh, I love you, babygirl.”
“And we’re stronger together.” You say, and feel their arms go around you at the same time, in a family hug.
Sure you will miss being called ‘honey’ and ‘sweetheart’, but nothing beats being called ‘little one’ and ‘babygirl’. And nothing ever will. National City may not make you feel as good as Storybrooke did, but the people here surely make up for that.
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minahoeshi · 3 years
Text
you were loved the most of all.
Ushijima Wakatoshi x reader | break-up angst
summary: You should've known that when Ushijima Wakatoshi found it easy to fall in love with you, it might be even easier for him to fall out of it. But who expects the worst when it comes to loving someone as seemingly perfect as him, anyway?
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Chapter 1 of 2
Chapter 2 of 2
He said it was easy to fall in love with you. He said he didn’t know when exactly, at which place, nor for what reason. Simply one day, Ushijima Wakatoshi found himself looking at you with the epiphany that maybe there’s something more meant to happen between you and him. There you stood before him that day, the person he could promise love to. (And there he stood before you that moment, the boy whose promises you found yourself believing in no matter what.)
So maybe that’s why it was even easier for him to fall out of love. When he told you he was no longer in love with you, it didn’t matter to you to ask when exactly, at which place, or for what reason. Even the universe itself is meant to fizzle out one day along with the death of the stars. Just one more person drifting away from you like a lone planet with no real orbit shouldn’t leave you broken. You are used to this. You won’t fall apart.
But you break anyway.
It was snowing outside when he decided to tell you to end things now before it hurts both of you even further. Not that the snow has anything to do with the coldness creeping up your chest threatening to spill out of you in endless sobs. You were glad, though. That at the very least, he remained honest with his feelings. He never left you guessing. Every time, he never forgets to tell you what’s on his mind. His honesty is something he thought was necessary.
“I understand, don’t worry. Thank you for telling me right away. I know you’re also considering me–” you tell him and choke up. There are tears running down your face but you’re not worried about that. Wakatoshi never let you mask your emotions around him. For the longest time, he reminded you to feel free to be completely bare with him. All the good and the bad, he said. Don’t be afraid to show them to me. I will always understand.
He steps closer and puts you between his arms. You feel his chin on top of your head as you lean your face into his chest. You’re sobbing now. “I’ll be fine, Toshi. We’ll be fine.”
He kisses the top of your head and lets you stay in his arms for minutes. “I loved you then, and I love you still. It’s just that they’re no longer the same kind. I will stay if you ask me to, okay? Anything you want.”
This only makes you cry harder. He’s always been too good. And even in breaking your heart, he’s too good. You want him to hold on. You want to ask him to stay with you for years and years. Even with a different kind of love, you’ll let him be as long he’s close by. But someone like him who has dreams beyond yourself shouldn’t ever be with someone like you who still lacks certainty toward anything.
“Just for tonight,” you ask, still crying. “Can I stay?”
“of course,” he replies. Anytime you want. Anything you want. It has always been this way.
Because humans are creatures of routines and familiarity, you spend that night the way you usually do when you’re at his place. You cook dinner with him and eat on the dining table, sharing stories and laughter. You keep adding food to his plate and he smiles as you giggle at everything you find funny.
It’s okay, it’s okay. You’ll be okay. You’ll be fine.
You clean the kitchen and stay in the living room. He leans on the couch as you lay down with your head on his lap. You keep talking and laughing. He goes along, sometimes adding things to make you laugh even more, sometimes simply agreeing, sometimes asking questions. You keep it loud and light, afraid of the silence. Inside you, it’s so heavy, your heart might just fall off. This will be the last, you tell yourself. You want to be happy for now. While he’s still here.
"Do me a favor, okay?" You tell him as you're nearing slumber. "Let me leave first tomorrow. Maybe stay in bed, maybe pretend you're asleep. But tomorrow, don't get out of the room until I've left the house." Your voice shakes, feeling yourself wanting to sob.
"I don't want to wake up to another empty bed but I don't want to see your face when I wake up too," you curl into him even further. "I'm sorry for being selfish. I'm sorry I still don't really know what to do. And I know you wake up pretty early and you know, do stuff, but just for tomorrow, please?"
Wakatoshi didn't really understand why. He originally planned on cooking breakfast for you and taking you to the train station. He would watch you board the train and he'd make sure to smile at you as he waves. You always waved back. That's how it works. Even after fights, and even after especially bad nights, you'd still do the same. Watching you leave with a smile was how you both knew you'd still be fine the days after. That nothing much can affect your relationship. For years, this has been the routine.
But tomorrow, he knows he has to give way. He knows what he said hurt you. It would be wrong of him to do what he wants simply because he's used to.
Tomorrow's the last, he realises. And then if you want, he'd never see you again.
--
You wake up pretty early. The sky is a calm shade of blue, the world outside still waking up. You check the time on your phone and find it's 6 AM. Last night, you slept with your back on him. The sight before you is the other end of his bedroom and you notice just how much of yourself you've managed to leave around his place. Pieces of just one other person in his life, scattered in places around his world pretending that’s just where they belong. You didn't mind leaving things behind back then. You never really thought of the day that you might’ve to take back all of them. Just how does one pick up parts of themselves when they thought they’ve finally found a place for them to stay?
But as you stand up, you conclude that when things end, traces shouldn’t be left behind. He didn’t decide to break up only to be reminded of you even after you’re no longer close to him. So you go and pick every little thing that's yours. Even your jacket and sweaters and a few pairs pyjamas in his closet. You'll just take his things from your place too and hand it to Tendou's shop. Coming back here won’t do you any good. Him coming to your place instead wouldn’t either.
Collecting all your things, even the ones you can't use anymore, you leave the bedroom and enter the living room. You don't have many belongings here aside from some DVDs and books. You only take the books and leave the rest for him. You've always preferred reading anyway.
Setting your bag and things aside on the sofa, you go ahead and wash yourself in the bathroom and bring your toothbrush and some other products with you when you're done. You then head to the kitchen to cook him something light to eat for breakfast . You knew you didn't have to. He knows how to cook. It has always been him cooking breakfast for you. When you could, you’d rather stay in bed until the very moment you must start preparing to go to uni or work. But you did anyway. He's probably in his bed, awake. He has never been a heavy sleeper. With all the moving you did around his room, he was bound to wake up if he wasn't already.
You make him a simple omelette and write a small message on top of it with ketchup. "Good luck with practice today!"
You've already cleaned everything you used, preferring to wash and set utensils as soon as you're done with them. That way, when you're sitting down to eat, there won't be any cluster around to distract you.
You put the ketchup down and decide that should be enough. You'll stop here. You should go now.
Ushijima is sitting on his bed. He's been awake since 5 AM when he usually goes on his run. It isn't the first time he chose to stay with you instead of going out, but he can't help but feel heavy this time. He stayed in for you. But as the minutes pass by, it seems that he simply cannot find the courage to sit up and face you.
He wants to sink into his bed.
There's knock on the door followed by sentences uttered softly. "Toshi, I'm going now. There's breakfast on the table. Make sure to eat before you go."
There goes the heavy feeling again. Maybe if this keeps up, he might just actually sink and never get back up.
You've done that a few times. Leaving while he's still in the room. You don't even open the door. You simply knock and tell him you're about to go, always reminding him to eat before he goes too.
But this will be the last, he thinks. If you leave now, will he never see you again?
a/n
chapter 2 will be up soon not rly sure when tho. (it's up now the link is at the top)
also, im not entirely sure but i think i didnt use any pronouns or gendered nouns for this except "girl" in the 1st paragraph which i erased just now? if i'm right, then i hope everyone reading this get to feel as though theyre rly the person in the story. unless ofc u dont want that bc this isnt the happiest ushitoshi x reader fic u can find🥲. but thanks for reading!!!! m so sorry for typos nd other errors as well. i kinda cant read my own writings bc sometimes doing so makes me wanna smack myself in the head and never write again nd i hate that so now im leaving my mistakes to the gods nd hope they love me enough or smth. but yes thank u sm again for reading!!!!
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