#error. grunge | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ret1cent · 4 months ago

Text

on my mind

josh dun x fem reader

you wanted my heart but i just liked your tattoos poured it down, so i poured it down with you

and now i don’t understand why i got you on my mind?

warnings: smut, porn with a plot, smoking (weed), slight drinking, language, oral (fem receiving), face riding, penetration, josh is very much a giver in this, unprotected sex (be safe y’all don’t do that), slight praise kink, fluffy ending, proofread very lightly

WC: 7,000+

a/n: i wrote this very casually since i’m putting my energy into my main series right now, but i got this idea so i wanted to write it :) excuse any grammar or spelling errors it’s not proofread perfectly! this is the first smut i’ve written in a long time so just keep that in mind lol :p also i was young during this era of tumblr so excuse me if i get any terminology or vibes wrong lmao

summary: it’s 2014 and you’re tumblr famous. after he recently joined the platform, josh dun of twenty one pilots follows you. you aren’t quite sure who he is at first, with only slight knowledge about the band. but as you get to chat and know each other more he invites you to a show and to get a drink after, but it’s never just a drink is it?

i sit at my desk on call with my friend sam, the fairy lights strung across the wall and the glow of the computer screen being the only sources of light. i scroll through my tumblr as we chat, scrolling through some notifications and replying to a few notes.

i had somewhat of a reputation of the platform, some even referring to me as tumblr famous. i was well known on the more grunge side of things, posting aesthetic photography of record stores, ciggerates with edgy lryics on them, you get the gist. but i also occasionally posted pictures of myself, mostly to show off cute outfits or new hair colors, but i was pretty insecure about posting myself. the reason i had been on the phone with sam was actually because she had spurred me on to post a slightly suggestive picture of myself and i needed mental support. it was of me in a small tank, a black skater skirt with black matching thigh highs and chokers adorned on my neck as i lay on my side in my bed. in it my face rested against my hand, my thumb resting against my parted lips. i had edited an array of emoji around me that matched the color tones of the photo in a satisfying way.

the post had done numbers, but now i unfortunately had to deal with the anxiety of being this widely perceived.

“ughh why did i post it.” i groan, burying my face in my hands.

“dude stop you look so hot!” sam defends the photo. “people are loving it, you have no reason to worry.” she soothes me.

sam was somewhat of a life coach when it came to my insecurities and about posting myself like this. she often was the only reason i posted pictures i had been planning to keep to myself, she was my number one hype man and i was beyond grateful to have her in my life. i just didn’t fully appreciate that aspect of her right in the moment of clarity after a post starts getting attention.

i scroll through my notifications, not fully paying attention until i saw i had gotten a new follower a few days ago. that itself wasn’t an abnormal occurrence, i just felt strangely drawn to the profile. i scroll down and see this person had liked multiple of my posts before following, and had just liked my recent one. i glance at the username, it reading stillstreet. i click on the profile and look at the users profile picture. huh, he was kind of cute… he didn’t have his name on his blog though, just an x files reference. that’s nerdy, i like it. he had a lot of followers, maybe he was famous for something?

i skim through his posts and reblogs, he seemed sweet and had a sense of humor that reminded me of my own. when i looked further i saw pictures posted of him at the drums playing shows. so he was an artist?

“hey sam, do you know a blog called stillstreet?” i ask curiously.

“uh yeah durr, that’s josh dun!” she says, as if it was an obvious fact.

“who?”

“OH MY GOD i’ve talked about him before!” she complains.

“sam you talk about a minimum of 50 dudes you think are hot a day, i lose track sometimes.” i defend myself and she goes silent.

“ok i honestly can’t argue with that but he’s from twenty one pilots! don’t you know them?”

oh yeah, i knew some of their songs. i heard car radio on playing on the alt rock station often and had a few of their songs liked. people on tumblr also posted about them quite a bit, i just never paid attention enough to know the people behind the band.

“oh that’s who he is?” i ask, shocked. “he just followed me.” i say in confusion, squinting as i went through more of his posts.

“ok haha very funny, i see what you were trying to do now.” sam says unamused, as if she just uncovered some prank i was pulling on her,

“i’m not lying!”

“prove it!” sam says and i turn my camera to my laptop, going to my notfications and scrolling down the one stating that he had followed me.

“OH MY GOD!” sam shouts and i cover my ears, my volume was set all the way up due to her voice being quiet before, as i didn’t expect her to be yelling at any point.

“sam my ears!”

“you have to do something about this oh my god.” she says in disbelief, ignoring my complaint.

“what do you mean ‘do something’, all he did was follow me!” i say with a laugh.

“you don’t know that, you never check your messages!” she argues. that was true, i typically tried to avoid it, as they tended to be a cesspool sometimes.

“ok fine, if it makes you happy.” i say with a roll of my eyes, clicking to message him, expecting to prove sam wrong. to my disbelief, she was right. he did message me. i go silent.

“oh my god… he messaged me.”

“WHAT DID HE SAY?” she shouts again.

“oh my god im turning my volume down now.” i say and then focus to read the message.

stillstreet:hey! sorry to randomly message you like this, i just wanted to say i like your posts a lot, idk if that’s weird or not…

i read the message back to sam, slightly giggling at his obvious anxiety in the message, it was sweet.

“you need to respond back like now.”

“and say what!”

“say oh my gosh thanks! can we fuck?” sam says in an extremely girly voice that sounded nothing like my own.

“SAM stop!”

“i’m sorry he’s hot i would so not be able to control myself.” she whines. “plus if he’s messaging you like that there’s a chance that might be his intention.” she insinuates.

“oh please! all he said was that my posts are cool…”

“yeah he’s trying to start conversation because he saw your posts and thought you were sexy!”

“ok well let me see what’s actually going on.” i say, trying to come up with a reply in my head.

do i just thank him? no the conversation could die there. i had to continue with a question.

(y/n):thank you so much, i really appreciate it. :) how’d you find me?

i ask him, trying to play it cool. i continue conversation with sam, mostly her raving to me about josh dun and twenty one pilots until he replied again.

“ok hold on, he responded.” i say, pausing our conversation to read the message to her.

stillstreet:i saw your photography when i was scrolling through some tags. i checked out your blog since i liked your style and i got to see more of you and your own personal style too and just decided i liked it. you seem like a cool girl :)

“you seem like a cool girl?!” sam repeats back dramatically. “oh i’m wet!”

“SAM oh my god calm yourself!” i scold her, despite the fact i felt myself flush at his words. “jeez you are going crazy over this man i should just send him over to you at this point.” i joke.

“no! you are the chosen one and i respect that, but if you fuck him you are required to give me every detail so i can live vicariously through you.” she says and i roll my eyes with a smile, giving up on stopping her from being vulgar. i pause, trying to think of a suitable response. “i’ll at least give you a cameo in our conversation.” i say to her playfully, starting to type my response.

“josh dun is gonna know i exist? oh my god i could die.” she says, estatic.

(y/n):thank you! <3 yeah photography used to be the only main thing on this blog, i’m a little insecure about posting myself sometimes but my friend sam has been my hype woman for me recently

i responded. maybe i was over sharing … i start to worry but josh responds quickly.

stillstreet:really? well i’m glad you have her, i’m happy to be able to see you. not to be too straightforward but you’re really pretty. i’m really surprised you’re insecure about posting.

my stomach swirls as i read the message in my head.

“(y/n)! what did he say?” sam says, pulling me out of my head. i read the message back to her in disbelief.

“oh my god.” she says, covering her hand with her mouth. (y/n) he wants you…”

i feel my heart beat speed up. this cute band member liked me? i decide to be chill about it, but also let him know i was interested.

(y/n):why thank you, i have to say you aren’t too bad looking yourself ;)

i immediately close my laptop in fear of what he would respond with, maybe that was too bold. “sam distract me!” i say, anxiously fidgeting with my hands.

“ok! let me send you more pictures of your man so you can see what you’re working with.” she says and sends me a bunch of picture’s over imessage. i open the notification, scrolling through them.

“woah, holy shit…” i say, admiring josh’s messy hair, his prominent arm muscle’s and abs, his sweat slicked skin and hair during shows, a mask he would wear that he still looked oddly sexy in, and especially his tattoos. the way the beautiful patchwork spotted across his skin lied just right on his toned arm.

“i know!” sam says, affirming his attractiveness. “his hair’s pink right now it’s soo cute.”

i reopen my laptop to see that josh had responded to me again.

stillstreet: oh really? maybe we should get to know each other more then :)

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for the rest of that night, me and josh continued conversation getting to know more about each other. we talked about everything, our childhoods, our favorite music, shows and movies. as we got to know each other more over the next few days we even got into deeper topics, such as some of the struggles we face in our personal lives. i’ve never felt so easily connected with someone before, something about him just drew me in. he just got me. i tried not to let myself not get too attached despite this fact, if it was just a hookup he was looking for i would be ok with that. he’s an attractive man and it’s not something i would end up regretting. i lie in bed, staring up at my ceiling until i get a notification. i check it and smile when i see that josh had messaged me.

stillstreet: good morning :)

(y/n):hey! what’s up?

stillstreet: i wanted to ask you something actually

my stomach swirls in anticipation. what was there to ask? was he going to ask to hookup? was he going to ask what it was we were doing? was he going to end whatever it was we had going on?

(y/n):of course, shoot.

stillstreet: well i know that you had mentioned that you live in LA, me and tyler are on tour right now and we’re playing there in a few days. i was wondering if you maybe wanted to come to the show? only if you want to of course

(y/n):yes! i’d love that. not to push my luck but can my friend sam maybe come along? she’ll leave us alone i promise lmao

stillstreet: of course! and don’t even worry about it, i’d love to meet her too. i’ll talk to my crew and get you both backstage passes so you can watch the show comfortably.

(y/n):why thank you sir, i feel like royalty

stillstreet: to me you are!

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of course when i told sam about the news she was beside herself.

“(y/n) have i told you how much i love you?” sam asks, sitting at the vanity in my room to do her makeup for the show.

“yes frequently and ironically enough it’s been ever since i told you about the tickets!” i say jokingly, sifting through the hangers in my closet, at a loss for what to wear. shirts and tanks were thrown all across the room.

“sam what do i wear?” i groan and she looks over at me.

“aren’t you literally like internet famous for always knowing that?” she asks playfully and i roll my eyes.

“now i wouldn’t say that…”

“you’re too humble for the fact that we’re literally getting ready to go backstage for a twenty one pilots show because the josh dun wants to fuck you.”

“stop saying he wants to fuck me!”

“i’ll stop once you prove me wrong!” she says and goes back to her makeup. “but if i were you i would be bragging my ass off about this.”

i smile and shake my head. “yes i know you would. you’re very predictable in that sense. ok now help me! what do people usually wear to their shows?”

“uhh i don’t know i’ve actually never been to one, but their aesthetic has a lot of blue and red because of their latest album and they also wear skeleton hoodies and ski masks often if that gives you any inspiration.”

“wait… yeah that actually helps a lot.” i say after i get an idea, going to the drawer that holds my tanks and grabbing the black mesh tank i had with skeleton bones on it. i grab a black lace bralette to wear underneath it, an oversized dark blue deinem jacket adorned with rips, and my black pleated skater skirt and thigh highs i wore in my most recent post. i sort through the jewelry on my jewelry tray and grab a blue transparent choker and a red transparent choker.

“oh that’s cute!” sam shouts after i put the outfit on.

“you really think? it’s not doing too much?”

“babe it’s doing just enough he won’t be able to keep his hands off you.” sam says and my stomach swirls at the thought.

i finish the look with a dark matte makeup look, and put my creepers on before heading out to the car with sam to leave for the show.

── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ── ── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ── ── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ──

me and sam were leaning against the car outside the venue. the sky still gloomy after the aftermath of rain earlier in the day and the smell of damp asphalt was lingering in the air. i hold myself with my arms, slightly shivering.

“maybe this outfit wasn’t the best idea.” i say, hugging myself even tighter as a chilling wind blew.

“you look cute! it’s worth it.” she says, focused on fishing the little container that held the joint we planned to smoke out of her purse. we had no desire to get our buzz from 20 dollar seltzers in the venue and we were both undeniably anxious about going backstage for our own reasons. it was just a little something to take the edge off.

she takes it out of the container, lighting it as her hands slightly tremble. “are you also so incredibly nervous or is it just me?” sam asks, taking a puff and then handing it over to me.

“fuck yeah i am… i hope he likes me in person too.” i say worriedly, taking a hit and passing it back to her.

“at least you’ve already talked to josh, i’m trying to think of like a million things i could say to him and tyler but none of them sound right… i hope it’s not awkward.”

“i’m sure it’ll be fine, they’ll probably be distracted setting up for the show anyway.” i say nervously, taking another puff and sam takes out her camera.

“photo op!” she says taking a picture of me blowing out the smoke and i roll my eyes with a smile.

“thank you my little photographer.” i say playfully.

the two of us finish smoking and start walking to the side entrance that josh told me to go to. as i walk i start to feel the pleasant lightness of the joint, putting a little bit of my nervousness at ease. we were met with a tall, burly slightly intimidating looking security guard.

“hi um our names should be on the list to get it.” i say timidly.

“names?”

i give him our full names and he nods, opening the door for us, revealing two other security guards that led us to the backstage.

as we walked down the dark hall, the sounds of distant rustling and thudding come into earshot as we got closer.

“what if this is just a setup for us to be murdered?” sam asks and i elbow her. “what! this is kinda scary…” she whispers.

but the feeling of unease was lifted when the security guards open the doors for us, leading us to the backstage which was warmly let and filled with crew mates conversing and setting up for the show. amongst the crew mates scattered around were josh and tyler standing in the corner immersed in conversation. the security guards lead us to them and a wave of anxiety washes over me as the boys look up at the two of us. i make eye contact with josh and his eyes light up, him flashing me a warm smile.

“these are your girls right?” one security guard asks and josh slightly chuckles at the wording.

“yeah they are, thank you man.” josh says and the security guard walks away with a nod.

the four of us all stand together, a silence quickly interrupted by giggles, all of us aware of the awkwardness of the situation. this was clearly a new thing for them, which made me feel special in a way. it was nice to know josh wasn’t just always bringing girls backstage, he didn’t seem like the type.

“hi, im tyler nice to meet you guys.” the brunette says kindly, shaking sam and i’s hands.

“i’m (y/n).” i say with a smile and tyler chuckles.

“oh i know this dude hasn’t shut up about you.” tyler says while pointing at his friend, josh smacking his arm and then glaring. “hey i told you i was going to embarrass you man.” tyler says, putting his hands up in defense.

“it feels like my dad’s meeting my girlfriend on prom night.” josh jokes and we all giggle.

sam gets caught up in conversation with tyler about the boy’s music, perfectly toeing the line between fan girl and casual fan. she clearly put a lot of thought into how to act in this situation. josh steps closer to me as sam and tyler were immersed in their own world, leaving the two of us alone.

“i feel like i haven’t properly said hello to you yet.” he says apologetically with a chuckle, then holding his arms out for a hug and i quickly accept it, almost feeling dizzy as my hands wrap around his strong back.

“you guys have fun before this?” josh asks jokingly after he pulls away, picking up the faint scent of weed mixed with the sweet perfume on my clothes.

i laugh softly, embarrassed that this was his first impression of me. “i’m sorry i probably smell like a joint…” i say apologetically, my face hidden in my hands.

“no don’t apologize it’s not too much it smells nice- you smell nice sorry this sounds creepy.” he rushes out, the two of us laughing.

“no it’s not, it’s sweet.” i say, looking at him with a smile and fully taking in his messy pink hair, his friendly hazel eyes, his pink lips and his cute nose ring. not the mention the muscle tank he was wearing that left no room for imagination… something about those damn tattoos really just got me.

he seemed to be analyzing me the same way, his eyes momentarily flicking downwards then upwards again to meet my gaze. “wow, you’re even prettier in person.” he says in a soft disbelief.

i flush softy, my stomach doing somersaults at his words. “why thank you, i could say the same for you sir.” i say and he smiles widely.

“you’re too sweet.”

the two of us walk around the backstage area conversing as josh prepares for the show.

“do you ever get nervous before these things?” i ask, slightly glancing at him as he walks besides me.

“honestly yeah. it’s more before we go on stage thoigh, no matter how many shows i’ve played and how much bigger the venues have gotten i always get that anxious feeling in my stomach. but when i get up there and start playing it all goes away, it feels like im in a trance honestly.” he says and i smile at him admiringly, taking in his passion for his art. he glances over at me, noticing my silence.

“sorry i’m rambling…”

“no no i was just… admiring.” i admit with an embarrassed chuckle. “it’s really cool how passionate you are, it’s inspiring.” i say and he smiles.

“really?”

“really.” i say, the two of us facing each other, a silence lingering as we gazed into each others eyes. he looks down at me, shyly brining his hand up to my face and slightly running his thumb across my jaw, me leaning into the touch.

“josh we’re doing the last sound checks right now.” tyler’s sudden voice startles me out of my hypnotized state. i look over and tyler smiles apologetically, seeing that he had interrupted a moment between us.

“alright, coming!” he replies to him and looks back to me. “i’m sorry, i have to go now.” josh says sadly and reaches out his hand to mine and i take it. “are we still on for drinks after the show?” josh asks with hope.

“of course.” i say with a smile, looking down at our intertwined hands.

“i’m really glad.” he says, squeezing my hand affectionately before he lets go and walks over to meet tyler. “enjoy the show.” josh says looking back at me over his shoulder with a subtle wink.

i smile to myself as he walks away, letting out a startled yelp when i suddenly felt a pair of hands on my shoulders.

“oh my god you guys are so cute!” sam gushes, slightly shaking me.

“sam you scared the shit out of me!”

“were you guys gonna kiss? oh my god the tension was crazzyy!” she says, ignoring my comment.

“wait you were watching us?”

“uh duh i found a hiding spot and i needed to see how things were going with you two!”

“you creep!” i say and slightly shove her, her sticking her tongue out in retaliation.

“were you flirting with tyler?” i joke and she shakes her head.

“nahh he has a girlfriend i’m not that kinda girl, but i did kinda hit it off with one of the crew members.” she says and i laugh.

“damn girl you had a whole agenda for like the hour i was gone!”

“hey i had to entertain myself somehow while you and josh have been away getting all lovey dovey!”

i attempt to front annoyance but couldn’t even hide how happy i was about all of this, a smile slowly growing on my face. sam catches on and playfully nudges me.

“this is a good night huh?” she asks with a smile.

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the show was amazing. i didn’t know what to expect from just the two of them, but the amount of energy they had completely made up for the lack of other members. the songs were beautiful and josh’s drumming was phenomenal. something about him when he was performing was so enigmatic. the way he seemed to get lost in the beat, the way his sweat slicked skin glistened under the glowing lights, the way he couldn’t help but smile when the crowd cheered his name. he would occasionally look back at me, flashing a smile when he had the chance. it made me feel a type of way i hadn’t felt before.

to say sam enjoyed the show was an understatement. the whole time she was jumping and yelling the lyrics, dancing and making me dance with her against my will. i was overjoyed by the fact that i got to give her this experience while also having my own special experience with josh. the two of us had parted ways when me and josh had left to get drinks, her also leaving with the crew member she’d been telling me about.

“hey we’re both getting lucky tonight!” she had cheered to me, which of course earned her an eye roll.

now, josh and i sat at the counter of a hip bar downtown, led signs reflecting a red shine on our faces and the sound of artic monkeys playing lightly from a jukebox in the background. i sip on a blackberry-basil martini, the sweetness mixing pleasantly with the slight burn of the alcohol.

“that show was amazing, i’ve never seen anything like that.” i say to josh, trying not to gush too much.

he smiles sheepishly, taking a small sip of his drink. “thank you, that really means a lot coming from you.” he says genuinely.

“just seeing you play up there too i don’t know your energy is just… magnetic.” i admit and he tilts his head in interest, his eyes locking with mine as he leans forward slightly.

“how so?” he asks teasingly, his pearly teeth slightly revealed as he chuckles softly.

“i don’t knowww.” i drag out, embarrassed and letting out a slight laugh, hoping he’d just drop the topic.

“aw come on don’t get all shy on me.” he says, playfully nudging my arm.

“you’re just.. the way you get so lost in the drums.. it’s like you’re on another planet. and the way you glow under the lights it’s like you’re an angel or something.” i say with a slight giggle, him softly laughing too. “yeah… i don’t know it’s just something about.. sorry never mind this it weird of me.” i stop myself, embarrassed

“what?” he asks playfully. “c’mon you can say it.” he says, his light demeanor spurring me on to continue.

“the way you play with such relish, the way you tilt your head back and take everything in i…” i start trailing off, slightly flushing as i felt his intent gaze on me. “i’m trying to find an artsy way to say this but i can’t. it’s just really fucking hot.” i admit, the slight buzz from this drink and my previous one giving me a boost of confidence.

i watch a slight smirk form on his pink lips as he looks at me, me tilting my head away in embarrassment.

“really?” he asks softly

“really.” i admit, meeting his gaze, my face still flushed.

he chuckles, bringing a hand to my cheek briefly to stroke the warm skin streaked with a soft pink. “you’re really cute you know that?” he asks and i shake my head in response.

“no, really.” he says, matching my previous response, his pupils slightly dilating as we hold the eye contact.

my whole body starts to feel warm, and all the sudden the need to jump his bones started to feel irresistible.

“hey… you don’t have to say yes i completely understand if you’re not comfortable with this but.. me and tyler are staying at a hotel nearby and i have a room alone tonight. would you maybe wanna… spend the night?” he asks gently, seeming the have the exact same thoughts running through his mind as i did.

“yes, that sounds great…” i reply, quickly catching onto what he was insinuating.

after he pays the tab the two of us walk to the hotel hand in hand, his thumb stroking my hand lightly as the sounds of the city droned on in the background. we walk in silence, not an uncomfortable silence, but one that held an air of anticipation.

after we had walked into the lobby, the pace of our walk had slightly picked up, almost speed walking as we went down the hall leading to his room. he lets go of my hand to swipe his key card and lets us in, quickly shutting the door behind us. almost immediately, his hands found my waist and i grabbed onto his shoulder and the back of his neck, leaning him into me so our lips touched.

he quickly reacts, matching the pace of my lips, his lips soft against my own as he ran his tongue across my bottom lip. i let my tongue softly graze across his, the warm feeling sending a deep sensation right to my core. i lean into him more as he deepens the sloppy kiss, him entangling his fingers in my hair while letting out a shaky breath through his nose. i feel myself get lost in the kiss, unaware of how much time had passed until he finally pulls away for air, a slight string of drool attached to our lips that fell when he moved his head down to my neck. he kisses down the skin, goosebumps being left in wake of his lips. i whine gently at the feeling, him softly groaning in response.

the sound made me feel lightheaded with need, and the feeling intensified when he slowly ran his tongue up my neck. i squirm, my breathing becoming more ragged when he hit the sweet spot. he sees this and leans in, pressing me against the door as he sucks on it gently, then grazing his teeth against it, the ticklish sensation intoxicating. i lean my head against the door, feeling completely out of control as he leads kisses across my neck, continuing to lick, suck and bite. he trails his large fingers up the bare skin of my thigh, the touch sending an electric shock through my body.

“can i?” he asks breathlessly, his fingers slightly grasped onto the edge of my skirt.

“y-yes. please.” i reply quickly and he moves his hand under my skirt, his fingers ghosting over where i needed him most, stroking me through the slowly dampening material of my panties. i let out shaky breaths as he teases me, continuing to kiss my neck. he finally moves his hand up to my hip, dragging down my panties past my thighs until they fell down my legs, pooling on the floor. he moves his fingers across my core spreading my wetness and i softly whine. he smiles against my neck at this, slowly entering his long fingers into me, a shaky moan falling out of my lips. he stills his fingers for a moment, moving his head back to mine, smiling as we momentarily make eye contact. he leans in to slowly make out with me again, beginning to thrust his fingers in as deep as possible. i moan into his mouth as i try to focus on matching the pace of his lips, finding it increasingly hard as his fingers moving in and out of me seemed to keep hitting all the right spots. the room was quiet besides for the sounds of our heavy breathing, my occasional moans, the sound of our lips moving together and the sound of his fingers moving in and out of my soaking arousal.

he finally withdraws his fingers, holding eye contact as he enters his fingers into his mouth, closing his eyes as he cleans them off with his tongue. “fuck.” i whisper in a slight daze as i watch him, his eyes squinting as he smiled in return.

“c’mere.” he says affectionately, grabbing my hand to lead me to the large bed, him falling back against the pillows and gently moving my body on top of his. i almost moan just from feeling how hard he was against my thigh. he entangles his fingers in my hair, leading my face down to meet his lips and we continue making out. i softly grind against his clothed thigh, needing relief for the burning need in my core. he softly chuckles into the kiss at this, then pulling away.

“do you wanna uh..” he starts, slightly sheepish. “you can sit on my face?…” he suggests and i almost whine just at his words.

“a-are you sure?”

“fuck yeah.” he says lustfully, gripping the revealed skin of my thigh from my skirt riding up. “come here.” he says, motioning me over with his two fingers as he lays himself flatter on the bed. i crawl further up, finally hovering above his face, my cheeks flushing from how vulnerable the position made me feel.

he smirks up at me before pulling me down by my thighs, his tongue immediately making contact with my core. i let out a gasp as he starts to thrust his strong tongue in, his nose rubbing deliciously against my clit. “josh..” i whine and he groans against me, the vibration going right to my center.

he laps up my wetness, moving up to suck on my clit. i moan and lean forward, tangling my fingers in his pink hair. i slightly tug at it as i feel myself getting closer to the edge, him moaning at the feeling. my hips seem to move on their own, slowly grinding against his face, chasing even more of the pleasure he was giving me. he took it well, letting me use him to get off as i pleased, sticking his long tongue deep inside me as i rode it.

the sight of his focused expression, his strong tattooed arm holding onto my thigh, his noises, the way he was devouring me like a starved man… it was all too much. “josh i-im gonna cum.” i whine breathlessly and he hums encouragingly, intensifying the movements of his tongue. when he moved his lips to suck on my clit again that’s when i lost it. “fuck!” i nearly shout, cumming so hard my vision blurred momentarily.

i grip the bedsheets roughly as josh kept up his movements, licking me clean. he pulls away and i climb back down, pausing to catch my breath. i hold onto his hips and he looks at me with a dazed smile, brushes a strand of hair behind my ear, then wipes the wetness off his face with his arm.

“wow that was..” i pant hard, looking up at the ceiling as i try to compose myself.

he giggles and leans forward to catch my lips, the taste of myself lingering on them.

“i’m glad you liked it, god that was hot you taste amazing.” he says, running a hand through his tousled hair.

i look down at him, his hair messy, his cheeks slightly flushed and droplets of sweat starting to bead on his forehead.

“god you’re so sexy it’s unreal.” i muse and he smiles bashfully.

“says you, you’re literally an angel.” he says, running a hand down my face. his eyes then drift down to my tank. he slowly moves his hands to it, moving them to grab onto the edges. “can i?” he asks and i nod. he pulls the mesh over my head, leaving me in my bralette. “god this has been driving me crazy all night.” he says, running his thumb over the lace material. i let out a sharp breath at the feeling of his finger running over my hardened nipple. “you look so beautiful in it.” he says, leaning down to press kisses across my chest and down my stomach. he gets to my skirt and i hoist my upper body up slightly so he can slide it down. “and this combo of the skirt and thigh highs… shittt.” he says with a soft laugh, kissing down the soft skin of my thighs, me biting my lip at the feeling. he playfully bites at the skin of my upper thigh and i giggle.

he rolls down the socks, then runs his hands across my smooth legs. at last, he leans forward and gently curves his hands around my back and his fingers go to the back of my bralette, fumbling momentarily before fully undoing the clips. he leans back and lets out an uneven breath, taking in my full bare figure. the way he looked at me with such desire and such curiosity made me feel vulnerable, but at the same time it made me feel undeniably sexy.

he moves both his hands up to my breasts, softly kneading and running his hands down them, circling my nipples with his thumbs. i let out a soft whine at the stimulation.

“wow… you look like a goddess.” he says, running his hands down my figure. he leans in to leave kisses down my chest, then takes a nipple into his mouth, sucking the bud gently.

“mmm fuck.” i whine at the feeling and he groans softly, moving to the other side and repeating the same motion. “josh fuck me please.” i whine, unable to take the teasing anymore.

he looks up at me, his hazel eyes darkened from how blown out his pupils had become. “you sure?” he asks and i nod vigorously.

“please.”

he bites his lip and peels his shirt off, my eyes widening as i take in the sight of his toned abs. “oh my god…” i say, my mouth slightly gaped as i run my fingers from his chest to his abs and he lets out a breathy laugh. he undoes his jeans, leaving him in his dark boxers, the tent in them being extremely prominent. i reach out my hand to softly stroke him through the material, feeling how hard he was. he groans quietly, then pulls it fully out, the tip reddened and leaking with pre cum. it was long and thick, to the point i was wondering if it would even fully fit.

“shit let me get get a condom.” he remembers, reaching over to the nightstand but i grab his arm.

“i um… i’m on birth control and i’m clean if it’s alright with you we can just…” i start sheepishly and he wastes no time crawling over me.

“hell yeah. i am too.” he says, petting my hair while looking down at me. “you ready?” he asks gently and i nod in confirmation.

he looks down in focus as he lines himself up with my entrance and slowly slides in, my eyes rolling back at the feeling of being so overwhelmingly filled up. the two of us let out shaky moans when he fully bottoms out. he holds onto my shoulders, his head drooping as he starts thrusting slow and deep.

“fuck you feel so good… so warm and.. tight.” he groans shakily, stroking my jaw. i look up at him, letting out soft moans, barely feeling on this planet from the bliss of his controlled thrusts. i let out a gasp as he hits just the right spot and he catches on, thrusting the same way over and over. i pull him down by his hair roughly and he groans, matching the pace of my lips. the kiss was sloppy, a mix of tongue and teeth as the two of us were being overtaken by pleasure.

“josh…” i whimper and he lets out a broken moan, his thrusts starting to quicken, still hitting deep inside me.

“doing so good for me… making me feel so good.” he coos, stroking my cheek and i almost cum right then and there.

“fuck.” i whine, moving my hips to match the rhythm of his thrusts. i look up at him, his cheeks tinted and beaded with sweat, his hair slick, his eyes darkened, his pink lips swelled and slightly parted as he let out quick heavy breaths.

he leans in to kiss me again and as much as i try to focus on kissing him back, the pleasure was too much. my mouth goes slack as i lean my head back again the pillow and he giggles, continuing to thrust as he leans down. “you feeling good?” he whispers in my ear, the sensation sending tingles of pleasure down my spine.

“y-yes.” i whine, painfully turned on by how he was talking to me.

“yeah?” he whispers, playfully licking the shell of my ear, then biting the lobe before he starts to thrust harder. it was a blissful state, my head thrown back, completely losing myself in the feeling, my senses being completely drowned by him. no other thought other than josh deserved a lick of acknowledgment in that moment, not when his words were so sweet and he was fucking me so good that his name was coming out of my lips like a prayer.

i whine at the loss when he pulls out suddenly, takes hold of my thighs, and brings my legs up to each side of his shoulders. he puts his arms behind my lower back, slightly hoisting me up. he readjusts himself and then enters me again, sliding all the way in. the new angle offered a sense of fullness i hadn’t ever felt before. i moan loudly, latching onto his back with my nails. he holds onto me by my upper back and hip, and starts moving me back and fourth onto his cock, almost like a toy. his head tilted back in bliss, his adam’s apple prominent as he lets out throaty groans.

“oh my god- josh.” i moan, my eyes filling with tears of pleasure, digging my nails into his back, slightly dragging them down as he thrusts quickly. he moans roughly at the sensation. “fuck i’m close.” i say, continuing to latch onto his back as his thrusts kept rocking my body up and down.

“me too.” he pants, peppering kisses across my neck. “let go, i’ve got you.” i squeeze my eyes tightly as i feel my high rapidly approaching.

“s-shit where should i cum?” he asks quickly.

“inside, i wanna feel you fill me up.” i whine and he groans loudly at my words, his fingers pressing tightly into my hip.

“fuck… (y/n).” he moans hotly in my ear as he releases inside me, his hips slightly slowing.

at the sound of him moaning my name and feeling the warmth of his cum inside me i finish too, moaning and tightly squeezing around him as he slowly thrusts through his release.

“yeah that’s it, such a good girl.” he whispers as he rubs my shoulder, my ears ringing from the intensity of it.

he stops his movements and pants heavily as he keeps himself hoisted above me, slowly pulling out. i feel some of his cum slowly starting to seep out. “fuck.” he whispers, biting his lip as he looks down at the sight.

he rolls over to lay beside me as i look up at the ceiling, trying to catch my breath in quick short gaps. he does the same, his body slick with sweat as he attempts to slow his breathing.

“wow that was… wow.” i muse, my hand resting on my forehead as i try to come back down to earth.

“yeah… i’ve never experienced anything like that holy shit.” he says, turning over to look at me with a smile. i smile back, mentally preparing myself for him asking me to leave as he slides his boxers back on. this was a really good experience, if it was just a hookup then so be it.

“do you wanna come here?” he asks, slightly shy as he extends his arms out across from me.

i nod, surprised but a smile widening on my face as i get closer to him and nuzzle my face into his warm chest. he wraps his strong arms around my lower back and looks down at me with a look of admiration.

“hey i know this is might be a weird time to ask but…. would you want to go on a proper first date with me tomorrow? you can stay tonight and we can eat in the morning and do something after? we have another day in LA…” he asks nervously.

i giggle softly, slightly thrown off. “yeah. i’d love that.” i say, leaning up to peck his lips softly. he smiles into the kiss, holding onto me as he kisses me back.

#josh dun x reader smut #josh dun x reader #there’s a serious lack of josh dun smut on here #twenty one pilots #twenty one pilots imagines #tøp josh #tøp #josh dun smut #joshua dun #twenty øne piløts #josh dun

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saiddcain · 1 month ago

Note

from your tomarrymort hostory post: "I feel like we used to be more daring back in my day."

was this in reference to fandom and fancreations as a whole? or were the tomarrymort fics in specific more daring in the past? if the latter, could you elaborate? like, what kind of plots were you seeing that set them apart from modern fics? 👀

So, Mark Fisher, British marxist writer, is known by leftists online mostly for his theory (and book title) of Capitalism Realism, which argues that capitalism colonises the mind to the point where we cannot imagine an alternative to it. But Mark Fisher was also a music critic, if I’m not mistaken, and used his marxist background to interpret the musical scene he experienced. He realised that, as liberalism gradually took over after Reagan’s and Tatcher’s economical decisions, and brought forth an era (which is getting worse and worse) of austerity and cuts in the Welfare State, artists — he focused on musicians — became less prone to attempt new things, to try to be disruptive and innovative. You must forgive me if I get something wrong, it’s been a while since I read Fisher. According to him, perhaps the last real music movement was 80’s punk (maybe 90’s grunge?) after that, pressured by the lack of a safety net, aspiring musicians, save the odd one out, began to follow a script in an attempt to be financially successful and secure. I think there’s merit to that claim, especially considering the state of the music industry nowadays. Take both kpop and western pop — what we have are singers carefully tailored and curated in order to be successful. Producers want returns, brand deals, million-dollar contracts. Even very successful stars have limited artistic freedom. Beginners trying to make in the industry must follow a mold, very few manage — or even have the will — to break it.

The same mentality is present in other areas of culture — movies and literature being the most obvious examples. There’s safety in formulas proved to become popular and in late stage capitalism economical safety is adamant. That is why we have so many revivals and reboots and spin offs and:

For every Miyazaki, still carefully drawing each frame of his masterpieces, we have a thousand Kevin Feiges, ordering another batch of Marvel movies, all the same, all following cake recipe scripts that even the most authorial and creative directors cannot touch. We have Pixar doing Toy Story 4, 5, 6000. We have Strangers Things, with its appeal to 1980s and Stephen King’s nostalgia. We have Top Gun 2 and Indiana Jones 5 and will have Devil Wears Prada II.

New ideas are potentially costly. Why invest in something new when you can make another billion rehashing, remaking, rebooting, turning it into a live action?

What does that have to do with fanfiction?

Well, besides this scenario of cultural stagnation, I would add two things: first, the popularisation of fanfic is both a blessing and a curse. Back In My Day we didn’t have the abundance of fanworks we have today, all tagged and easily available. Internet itself was a luxury in many places, I used to go to lan houses (was that a thing in the US/Europe?)/internet cafes to access anime forums. We didn’t have smartphones, we couldn’t read fanfic laying down in bed unless we printed it (which I did a few times). So we read books, not only fanfic. Books that, back then, weren’t yet as influenced by fanfic as they are now. So you had fanfic authors who were exposed to different proses and narratives and that translated into a richer variety of styles. Recently I watched a video where an TI programmer talks about how AI is destroying coding because so many new professionals are using AI to write the codes for them. They just copy and paste the codes without really checking for errors and incongruences. AI, in turn, feeds itself anew with these faulty codes. It’s a vicious circle. Something similar happens when fanfic authors only consume fanfic and fanfic-lite books. As much as I love and defend fanfic, most of us are amateurs, writing without editors or even a beta. Most of us are coming up with a story as we post it and don’t have the full work already written. Many of us are writing in English as a second language. To become a good writer — and a good reader — you need to read actual books. Actual classics. The big boys, as Logan Roy would say, and before anyone says it, many of them weren’t white or men.

I get the appeal of reading again and again the same trope, seeking comfort in fanfic and easy books, eating cake after cake, but as a writer and as reader you actually need your white rice & beans & farofa & meat & salad for a balanced diet. Fujoshi shall not live by bread alone.

The second point is the internet. Again, the internet as we have it today. Back when I started to read and write fanfic the communities were smaller. Everyone knew each other basically. Fanfiction.net was a big site in the midst of fanfic forums and geocities but for a pairing as niche as TomHarry you only had a handful of writers depending on the language. I didn’t use livejournal but I reckon it was more or less the same. The internet in general was different too — social media as we know today wasn’t as widespread. No instagram or twitter or tiktok. Now everyone “lives” in online megalopolis, where our worth is measured by likes, hearts, followers, monetization. I think some of that mentality is applied, especially by the younger crowd, to ao3. Ao3 is not social media — Ao3 is an archive. But you can gather some popularity by linking your twitter to your Ao3 works. And while you can’t monetise your “content” on Ao3 if you get big enough you can have your work published with the characters names changed as certain authors have.

So, with the incentive of niche popularity, or even just a few likes, comments, and tweets, it’s tempting for fanfic authors to write what is popular. And I get it — fanfic is a labour of love, done for free. We put our work out there to be judged by strangers, risking getting hate, having our stories scrapped by AI or completely ignored. To be candid, I know that if I write and post certain tropes, I’ll get a bigger response. Before Mary Magdalene my most popular fic (long deleted) was the most cliche Harry Is An Omega And Goes Into Heat And Alpha Voldemort Fucks Him affair you can think of. If I posted something similar today I’d probably get more comments and kudos than if I keep on working on some of my current WIPs. I think it’s probably the same for many other authors.

So yeah, I think it’s not a TomHarry specific phenomenon.

I apologise for only partially answering your question. If I were to get into tropes and plots (especially light/dumbledore bashing) this would become too long.

Thank you for your ask ❤️ and I hope all my rambling did not bore you.

#asks #tomharry #harrymort #fandom

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taesanluv3r · 1 year ago

Text

lost in love songs.

han taesan x reader

a short, three part, friends to lovers story.

ੈ✩‧₊ hidden love unfolds when taesan's ipod nano accidentally ends up in the hands of his best-friend, yn. a certain playlist catches her eyes, revealing the true feelings kept within the depths of the boy's heart.

part two: about a girl.

reader goes through an overwhelming amount of emotions (shes crying 😿), some cuss words, myung jaehyun (reader's older brother) comforts her <3 lowercase intended, excuse any spelling mistakes / grammatical errors! enjoy :3

wc: 2,009

masterlist 𖦹 part one 𖦹 part three

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

"damn, can't believe that dork writes songs about my loser sister…i say we give it a little listen and-"

jaehyun's words are interrupted, "get out of my room" yn says sternly, a finger pointing out the opened door and her face dead serious. her brother rolls his eyes, "whatever, i'll leave you to it i guess. weirdo…maybe you two are meant for each other" the girl flips him off, climbing off of her bed to forcefully push her annoying sibling out the door, slamming it shut behind him. she sighs, turning back around and staring intently at the silver device that remained on her white bed-sheets. her stomach hurts as she sits down beside it, her heart pounding straight out of her chest, though she doesn't know why. yn takes a deep breath as she holds her friend's ipod in her hands, the size of it unfamiliar to the girl who was so used to her larger phone. the wired earphones were tangled and grey from how worn out it was, she hesitates for a moment, wondering if it were really a good idea to be listening to the song her friend made a point to keep hidden from her. but it was right there, staring at her with her name written on it, literally. yn scoots, her back making complete contact with her pillows, a fluffy cloud-shaped plush toy sandwiched between her chest and her knees. she sticks an earphone into her left ear, beginning to do the same on the other side when the ping of her phone stops her. turning over to the device, she blinks slowly at the contact name on her screen.

han taesan.

she watches from afar as countless texts and a few missed calls came in, her arm reaching out to grab her phone. yn contemplates for a moment, his urgent warnings forming a sense of hesitance as she falls into a dilemma. once again, she sighs, turning her phone on do not disturb, ignoring the guy's begs and pleas before she averts her attention back to the ipod nano. blocking out all outside noise, the other side of his earphones find place in her right ear, a finger grazing against the white buttons that decorated the silver music player. yn exhales, finally pressuring the tips of her nail, pushing play on the very first track,

'about a girl.'

the name directly stolen from a song by his favourite rock band, the girl fully expects her friend's usually grunge-y sound. however, yn is taken by surprise when a soft guitar acoustic hits the surface of her eardrums instead. the rhythm of the track almost as sweet as the lyrics that he begun to sing. taesan's voice is smooth like butter, matching perfectly with the rather simple strumming pattern of the stringed instrument. being fully produced in his bed-room on a cheap microphone he got at the thrift shop, the girl finds herself smiling slightly at the shuffling sounds she could still hear in the background, breath hitching when she finally processed the words.

i listen to love songs in hopes they come true. i listen intently to conversations with you. my mind turns into mush and i can't seem to speak. in seconds i'm out, the door shuts with a creak. i could talk about her for hours on end, i could talk with her, or maybe not, it depends. cause she drives me insane, and i've got worms for a brain. and i can't get her out of my head.

the girl doesn't know what to think. it just all sounds so…foreign. the taesan she knew never wrote songs like this, or at least none that she knew of. the shy and reserved boy would never be caught dead showing this much emotion in real life, his honey-like voice fades out as the instrumental gets louder, giving the girl a moment to think. a million questions swarm into her head. he wrote this song…for her? she's lost in the music for a moment, her mind racing as she goes through about a billion thoughts per second. her heart fluttering at the very idea of this whole thing- i mean, it was as if all those romantic dreams she's had were finally coming true. a whole song written for her? frankly, the girl was on cloud 9. yet still, yn can't help but doubt herself, does he really feel this way for her? her best-friend since middle school? the ever so introverted han taesan who's never even spoken of love, this is him? as the questions swim through her brain, his soft singing wakes her up again.

this girl that i know, she's a girl that i like. but she won't feel the same, i don't know though, she might. i just can't, and i won't, let her know how i feel. i fear it might slip and it'll all become real. for my mouth only speaks around her, and my mind only thinks about this girl.

after another beat or two, he sings the final words of his love song,

still, you drive me insane. and i've got worms for a brain. think i might like you more than a friend.

with that, the first track in the two-song playlist comes to an end. the room is silent, the only thing she could hear was the quiet sound of her deep breaths. yn's mouth hangs open, her body freezing up like she had just been transported to the arctic without shelter. she doesn't even want to listen to the other song, in fear it'd make her heart beat faster than this one did. unconciously, a single tear begins to run down her cheek. "i know you said to go away but mom's asking what you want for dinner" the sound of her older brother's voice shakes her out of the daze, her eyes blinking rapidly as her head turned towards the door. "are…are you crying?" jaehyun asks, eyes widening as he began to walk over to where she sat on the bed, taking a seat beside her. "i…" she starts but doesn't continue, not really knowing what she was going to or even wanted to say. "so…you listened to that song, huh?" the boy asked, his features softening at the sight of his tearful sister who looked…well, lost.

she nods slightly, "just…just the first one" she mumbles, gulping all too loudly as her hand moves up to wipe at the tears that stained her blushed cheeks. "so? does he like you, or what?" jaehyun's question comes out a bit rushed, like he was impatient to know. "i…i don't know" and before they knew it, the girl had broken down into tears again. she still didn't know why though, the lyrics of her friend's song was nothing but sweet. however, the truth about the feelings he had, the ones he must've been keeping from her this whole time…it made the myung girl overwhelmed, not really knowing how she had to react. "hey, don't cry" her brother coos, a hand stiffly patting against the small of her back as she sobs into her hands. "yn…i know you hate it when i tease you but, don't you think it's obvious he's always liked you?" she lifts up her head, fully looking at her older sibling with confused eyes. "and don't lie, yn. we all know you're a terrible liar. i can tell by the way you smile when you mention him, i can tell by how annoyed you get over silly things about him that you, whether you like it or not, you're just in love as he is" jaehyun lets out a breath after talking too fast, his lips pursed into a line as he hits his sister with the reality of her feelings, and her best-friend's.

"but…" she starts again, stuttering as the salty taste of her own tears managed to seep into her mouth that started to feel a little dry. "but what if it's all a misunderstanding? i mean, what if i got it all wrong? what if this ruins our relationship forever? i shouldn't have…i shouldn't have listened to this. i-" the rambling girl gets cut off, "yn!" jaehyun's voice is louder by a decibel, his hands pressed firmly against his shaking sister's shoulders. "yn, look. there's only one way to find out. and you and i both know that things will only get weird if you don't talk to him about this, right?" the myung girl sighs, nodding at him, a grateful look on her face for her older brother and his big heart- even if he bullied and teased her half the time. "you're right…" another ping grabs their attention away from each other and over to the phone she had tossed to the other side of the bed. "i think that's him…" jaehyun smiles softly at his love-sick little sister, reaching to pass the phone over to her before patting her back lightly. "talk to him, yn. tell him the truth. what's the worst that could happen, right?" he says, earning a half-assed smile in return from the girl.

"besides, he did write love songs dedicated to you- something tells me you two are going to be just fine"

the boy gets off of the bed, "i'll tell mom you're not hungry yet. let me know if you need anything, okay? and if it is all a misunderstanding, which i doubt it is, i'm only a call away and i'll fight the guy for you!" the last part makes the girl giggle, breaking away from her somber state for a moment, rolling her eyes as the older sibling began showing off his non-existent arm muscles. he shot her a quick good luck before he was out the door again. leaving myung yn alone, alone with the thousands of messages and calls from a panicked han taesan.

emo loser (taesan) yn, whatever you do DO NOT touch my ipod. yn answer my calls!!!! yn please. yn, don't do it. it's too late isn't it? yn… i'm sorry.

the girl can't help but feel sick, the guilt of it all making her stomach turn and her heart to swell in pain. she takes a deep breath, the ticks on the bottom right of his messages turning blue, signifying that she had finally read them.

emo loser (taesan) you listened to them, didn't you?

yn's breathing gets heavy and fast, her fingers trembling as she began to type out a response.

i need to talk to you.

she bites her lip, nervously watching as the three dots appear then disappear on his end of the chatroom, like he had started to type but stopped half way through. yn shuts her eyes, opening them to stare at the ipod nano that had turned itself off at some point before. her gaze is turned back to the phone in her hands when he finally texts her back.

emo loser (taesan) meet me at the playground tomorrow? i have so much to say you'll listen right?

yn smiles softly, a sudden feeling of warmth engulfing her previously frozen body. she nods to herself, fingers hovering over the digital keyboard.

tomorrow at 1?

this time, he texts back almost immediately.

emo loser (taesan) i don't think i can wait that long meet me there at 10 unless you're still sleeping, lazy ass.

the boy's teasing joke, after the whirlwind of emotions she had just gone through, comforts her a little. suddenly, the girl feels confident that her brother was right and that they'd be okay after all.

see you at 10 then, weirdo

the conversation ends there. yn hides under her covers that night, her stomach empty though she didn't feel the need to eat, and her body exhausted though she couldn't seem to sleep. she's still in disbelief. the sound of his voice playing over and over again in her head all night. the lyrics tattooed onto her brain as she finds herself lost.

lost in the love song he wrote for her.

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

first of all tysm for 100 followers !!! HEHEHEHE taesan straying away from his usual emo grunge music to write secret love songs for yn 😿 featuring the lyrics that i wrote myself <3 THOUGHTS??? reblogs n feedbacks are highly appreciated!! send me an ask, let's talk abt this 💭 see u guys in the final part!! love, kona.

#kona's work ♡#boynextdoor #boynextdoor drabbles #boynextdoor imagines #boynextdoor x reader #taesan #taesan x reader #boynextdoor taesan #bnd taesan #han dongmin #han taesan #bnd x reader

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