#especially if making posts or joining group chats is intimidating

[blanketforcas]

Hey its me again 🫣… No problem! I didnt see the tags on the first one about not wanting to start something 😅.

(Last thing i swear.. i want to say is That i wish That i could talk about this stuff With someone without some anti or AA butts in… beacuse it is something That i Know bothers alot of people but feel they cant or are afraid to say anything about it.. 🤐🙃)

no worries! and yeah that's fair tbh. some people have very strong opinions in this fandom, so i get your hesitation to talk about it

i think that's where group chats or discord servers can be helpful (also very much the opposite lol but you gotta find your people and look out for yourself)

also i promise your opinion is shared by a lot of people, if that's any comfort to you!

[ousama]

ok im going to try and address the callout in the best way that i can now that im fully medicated and in the right mindspace. i will go over every part of it to be as concise as possible!

let me state right now this post is not to garner pity. i am not asking for apologies. i am not asking people to refollow me if they are uncomfortable. if i make you uncomfortable please put your mental health first for the both of us

ok lets start with this! over a year ago i sent people fake gore. this is fact. those people were pedophiles and fascists. you are allowed to have the opinion its wrong for me to send anyone gore but i want to make clear i only targeted genuinely dangerous individuals. i am a grown adult as well! that is true. but i do think there's quite a difference in the maturity of an unmedicated 20 year old who had been, if most of my long time followers recall, recovering from a literal cult. and a now 22 year old who is fully medicated and has a job. i have matured and changed i think

this was in regards to i believe that how intimidating am i ask meme? though i mentioned gore here i am noting again i had actually stopped sending gore by this point in my life. I do still send fascists their IP addresses to scare them into deleting. I understand i can block, report and warn others but quite frankly. Staff does not care about the fascist problem. blocking and reporting does not do shit on this website and i believe personally its best to take it into my own hands especially when, in my experience, i have a 90% success rate in getting them to deactivate via just mentioning the town they live in

im. not sure why this image is included quite frankly but ill try my best to address it. The person messaging has been harassing me for about a week including misgendering me and using ableist language against a developmentally delayed individual. This is the kill yourself website. I did not think replying with a blingee would be an issue. They mentioned gore only because my carrd says if you stealth follow and are a pedophile or other brand of freak ill send you gore . my carrd is not updated and that has been there for about two years. it is not accurate to what i do now.

this is me explaining that^ also included in the callout. don't know what to say here as im clearly acknowledging it.

same person harassing me doubling down on the fact my carrd outdatedly mentions gore. I answer honestly, because again id only ever used horror movie screenshots. To Fascists And Pedophiles.

im not elaborating this is my post. it explains itself but its added here as it was in the callout

now we get to malistaire. i will say right now. I have nothing against malistaire personally. i also cannot check their tumblr so will default to they them. if these are the wrong pronouns i apologize but i quite literally cannot confirm.

Malistaire does have a history with our group. we are a friend group called the overdosis group chat. other members may dislike malistaire. that is not my problem quite frankly. i do not hold any ill will or intentions toward them. as you can see in both screenshots. Neither Discord Message Is From Me. I have NO obligation to take responsibility for other people in a shared server especially when i am one of the least active members. I believe the first message was prompted by malistaires old blog having a post that implied our group might be stalking them. we were not. as far as i know they left the server due to personal drama with one member. the second dm is also not me. my name is not liv, you may notice. i am not responsible for this. adding it to a post about me is pointless at least and misinformation at most.

they go on to list other members. which is irrelevant to a post about me. but i find the comment about the groups name most interesting because

Malistaire Was An Original Member Of The Group. They Had Joined The Server Twice Actually.

they were aware of the suicide note (of a racist, mind you) and even joked about it in the server. They do not mention this at all on the callout.

they also partook in sending death threats. alongside us.

im out of image space i will continue this in a reblog. please do not reblog this post in its current state.

[natsmagi]

It's incredibly tough because we no longer have social media that's suitable for fandom interactions the way livejournal was. Individual journals + interest communities which could be easily locked/unlocked as you wanted. People had to search out what they wanted etc. Twitter and tumblr just can't do it (and let's not even mention tiktok)

ITS KIND OF SAD......... i was never really on livejournal when i was younger bc i was like 10 and did not know what the internet was capable of offering but even just being on deviantart in the early 2010s gave me a strong sense of community and support...... just a bunch of hobbyists doing their own little things and joining those groups deviantart had was alot of fun for lil kid me!

the best substitute we've got for livejournal these days is like. discord. but thats so annoying especially when theyre specifically locking content behind a discord invite since many of us may not even know if we vibe there!! and its intimidating to be thrown into a group chat with people who already have established bonds ONTOP of not even knowing if youll get along😭

while i think tumblr is relatively good for fandom posting and such i definitely wouldnt call it the best place to make friends with similar interests...... since its hard to really like. have actual conversations with people on here since the ask feature is pretty one-sided, tags arent meant to be responded to a majority of the time, the comments feature barely gets used and the dms system is wonky as hell. and twitter is just a cesspool of reactionary people who dont think before they tweet and are just waiting to make their next callout post, but god is it a good place to hold a conversation and bond with people................ you just cant win these days huh

[rationalisms]

Omg you discord post is exactly what I’ve been thinking as well. I’ve joined it for fandoms and school groups and irl community stuff and each and every time I get so anxious that I end up going ghost. Speaking specifically on fandom though, I recently deleted my account and the app (love being #free) because the one to one feel of involvement is A Lot. I love screaming into the void and shooting off a stupid post way too much so having to think through everything I say is anxiety like I don’t actually want to feel like I’m in a chat room? Idk but it’s the same with twitter, I use it to crack some jokes but the extra sense of familiarity that seems to come with frequent interactions overwhelms me and everyone else just seems to be okay with it. I realize that’s a box of a social anxiety thing in general though. Anyway not that you asked bit this is why I don’t think I’ll ever leave tumblr it caters so perfectly to the hermit in me lol

oh bud i completely feel you, it's an absolute nightmare for people with any amount of social anxiety. pretty much the only reason i use discord is for ttrpg organizational purposes, and for the one movie watching/music league group chat with my group of friends; any servers i've joined that are bigger than that i go through the exact same process every time: agonize over what to say for several days because everyone else already seems incredibly familiar with each other in a way that's so deeply terrifying and intimidating and then eventually just leaving again. which sux! i wanna Take Part In Stuff and meet people who share my interests but i'm a big ball of anxiety and that setting is my nightmare... so i definitely get you. and good on you for deciding that you're no longer getting anything out of it and pulling the plug! it can be hard especially with how much it's assumed that you have certain social media and FOMO and alla dat, so i'm glad you were able to draw a line and i hope it helps make you feel more comfortable.

i don't mind twitter as much because it feels more passive in a lot of ways. like, engagement can just be a driveby fav or even if you do reply or someone replies to you there's an inherent built-in acceptance of delay in response or even just like. Acknowledgement By Fav Can Be Enough. which imo is definitely not the atmosphere for discord at least ime. but it's still not great for fandom stuff for a ton of other reasons including the complete lack of archiving. and honestly, i abandoned my public twitter for my locked down private one for a multitude of reasons and the anxiety around having to keep up some sort of Public Persona is definitely part of it, so i absolutely understand you on that level as well.

tumblr has its own issues obviously, but like you i never felt the same sense of pressure or dread here. a big part of that is obviously the whole reblog system in itself, in that it's totally fine and even encouraged to just, idk , silently curate pretty pictures for a bit and at most commenting in the tags when you have something to say or w/e, but also being able to do the whole shooting random thoughts into the void whenever you want to instead. it's also much, much easier to curate my experience here than anywhere else lol. much more robust blacklisting functions available (albeit reliant on third party extensions) and if you didn't choose to put something on your dash then tumblr won't for the most part force it on you. so that for sure helps.

idk, i don't have the solution! because like, yes in many ways discord and twitter are suboptimal for fandom stuff but in many ways it's also down to the fact that i do obviously have pretty severe anxiety around these things and struggle with it immensely in a way that a lot of people obviously don't. which sucks but isn't their problem.

i still think we should all move to dreamwidth though. if enough of us hermits congregate there other people eventually have to follow, right? that's how we all ended up on tumblr in the first place :x

[didntusetowantthis]

things I am learning By Doing (the power of Home Depot)

1.) spam blog is ok. I shall use the spam blog. The spam blog is my friend.

2.) there are LOTS of helpful guides on image IDs; I’ve reblogged a few on my spam blog (@toengageistobuild).

3.) I still have no idea what the dash is???

4.) making posts, leaving comments, etc. is HELLA intimidating, especially on other people’s stuff, because people other than the poster can see it!! Directly!! ESPECIALLY if they’re a small blog!

5.) people actually have discussions. Like, it’s not only people making quips and responding to quips with the occasional essay (though that’s still common), it’s also people giving their takes in their tags and then other people responding in kind when they want to, and people not being afraid to make a hella long response to something. It’s neat and already my favorite thing about this place

6.) on the flipside, it feels kinda pressurizing to reblog stuff and actually say something that isn’t in the tags, because that’s using your Outside Voice, and like… the difference between turning to your friend and chatting in the corner of a party vs finding the main group (of people you don’t even know anyway, and only have work— fandom or aesthetic or whatever— in common and joining in on their conversation unprompted). I think. This is only my impression

7.) what defines a mutual???

also, I don’t know how to link posts, how to know what stuff goes under a ReadMore, or the answers to most of my questions in my original post, but I guess check out my first post if you know stuff about social media (including extremely basic stuff. Literally my first time Using a social media, see that post). wishing whoever reads this a good day

[alchemiclee]

as a fellow introvert; we are social creatures. introverts who purposefully see no one for months on end are usually just in a cycle where its been so long since they’ve hung out that it’s too intimidating for them to do anymore. i 100% feel tired after hanging out with my friends but i DO also feel happy and refreshed! tl;dr - you’re super normal lol. try to reach out to a couple people just to chat this week <3

thanks for reaching out I really appreciate it❤️ but I have to rant a bit. I allow you to ignore it!

I wish to not be a social creature because going too long without having a friend to talk to or not having someone to talk with almost daily feels bad and it's so hard to have a friend when I need one D:

i've been reaching out to people for the last few weeks or so but they don't reach back. try playing games with people but they play with their other friends or dont feel like playing. invite people to hang out but they say maybe and never give an answer or don't respond.

I don't want to bother my closest friends in our group chat too much in our group chat but the chat is mostly me sending messages with no response and even couple times saying I need a friend when I was having bad days but they didn't want to chat and I dont want to force anyone to entertain my lonely depressed ass. (especially when all I really needed was to talk about the new star rail stuff to distract me but I don't think they've finished it yet so I don't want to spoil) they live together so they always have to socialize and probably make each other tired without needing to add me to it.

so i've also been trying to reach out to new people, like joining twitch chats again for the first time in years. but that never goes well and doesn't satisfy my social needs. too many people talking at once and being the new person no one cares about and all....getting to know a new is very exhausting. but it's so hard to just be able to skip all that getting to know each other stuff jump straight into talking about a thing we both like (in this case it's star rail and cosplay and maybe art) I don't have enough already-known people to reach out to and i'm too tired to do the small talk dance until it's appropriate to jump into special interest territory. being autistic is so exhausting. I with to be one of those rare autistics I sometimes hear about that have 0 interest in social interaction at all

so as you can see, i'm trying. so hard. to the point I'm exhausting myself. it's been too much work for no payoff and makes things feel worse when the outcome isn't what I need and its constant reaching with no one grabbing my hand back. so I keep making annoying tumblr posts about it. i'm so sorry to anyone that reads my nonsense 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 this is a normal thing with me but it's usually kept to my other blog that's reserved for more serious posts like this but I tried posting here as a way to "reach out" and see if it invites any friendly friends or something but I don't think i'm doing it right...

(but I am going to a con tomorrow with someone I haven't talked to in like 2 years. but we don't have anything in common anymore so theres not much to talk about. he's the only person who responded to me after trying to reach out for like a month but I fear it will only exhaust me being around too many people and not help this gross need to have a deeper connecting socialization D:)

[gaia-is-here-now]

vent haha

after years of exclusion from things and being brushed off and people telling me "it's nothing don't worry about it" when I ask what people are up to and me being the only one not at certain events by some circumstance or another, I've kind of developed this response to when I see friends in friend groups I'm in that have existed longer than I've been in them already having in-jokes and connections.

it makes me jealous and self conscious and I don't want to be jealous about it I feel bad about being jealous of the connection other people share with eachother and even though the exclusion isn't there, it's kind of a mix of my own brain and past experiences telling me "you're annoying them" and me never actually learning how to make friends (instead people who are more outgoing ended up reaching out to me first) and I feel like I'm less of a friend than the existing friend group and I'm just intruding and it would be better if I wasn't there

so I end up isolating myself even though the only thing that happened was an existing friend group that graced me with the privelidge of their presence we're enjoying themselves and each other's company and it makes me feel so jealous and that makes me feel like a shitty person and like it's for the better that I didn't stay because if I had stayed I would have just brought the mood down and nobody wants that.

it always leads to me isolating myself and the only friend groups I have ever actually stuck with over the years are the ones I was there for the creation of and I was a part of the original roster because then I feel like I truly belong? I dunno, I feel like whenever I join something new I can never stick around because people have already made friends and experiences and there's this invisible wall that only I can see blocking me out and I'm not sure if it's created by others or by my own brain just trying to avoid another "oh it's nothing"

I just wish

actually I don't know what I wish

I wish I had friends in a similar age range to me that won't make me feel excluded and won't make me feel jealous

I don't like feeling jealous it makes me feel like a bad person and I don't want to be a bad person

I hate that part of me I hate how easily I can become super jealous about things

why is making friends so hard :[ please I just want to feel included and like I'm part of the group and even if they don't mean it, a lot of the friend groups I've ever been in have felt super alienating when it comes down to it

I just

I want friends, man

I want

I dunno

I don't wanna cry but I'm halfway there already

it's not even just friend groups I'm in, either

whenever I see a group of friends just having fun and enjoying being friends it makes me so fucking jealous. I'm so goddamn envious of that connection. and I feel angry but not at them but kind of at myself because in the end it *is* my fault that I can't have that because it's nothing anyone is doing to exclude me, they are just going about business as usual, but I just feel so fucking envious of the connection and I feel like I don't belong and they pity me and don't actually want to be my friend and I'm so FUCKING paranoid about there being a seperate chat or server where I'm not in it because that's happened before! and it fucking hurts! a lot!

god. fuck. I crave human connection. please

please please please why

why am I like this

I can't fucking interact with people because I'm terrified and intimidated by the mere prospect of it, ESPECIALLY in real life, so I post shit places just in hopes that someone will fucking comment or something so I have words directed at me in any capacity. because I'm so fucking bad at talking to people that the only way I can fill my "human social contact" quota is to hope and pray someone leaves like three words on something.

I'm not an extrovert. that seems fucking exhausting and like hell. I'm very introverted. but god I want friends my age who I can worldbuild with and play minecraft with and make characters with and who I can talk to and listen to music with and just. please I want this so bad. please.

whenever I see people @ eachother I get fucking sad. because nobody ever @'s me. people don't think of me when they see a post and that gets this fucking idea in my head that my friends don't think of me and it's a FUCKED UP way to think and it's FUCKING WRONG and I feel so fucking needy. I feel like a fucking burden and like I'm just craving attention from everyone around me because if I don't get enough, if I am ignored or something for long enough I start wondering if it's my fault and if I did something wrong because I never KNOW if I do something wrong because I don't know what is the fucking RIGHT thing to do in a friendship because I keep FUCKING ISOLATING MYSELF

please I just wanna play minecraft and make collab art and make gift art for friends (that don't exist) and occasionally get gift art from friends (that don't exist) bc that's what my brain counts as friendship. I feel unknowably loved when someone enjoys my friendship enough to give me a gift and it happens so fucking rarely and I wish I registered other acts of kindness the same way I registered gifts but I FUCKING DONT because my brain likes making things as hard as fucking possible for no fucking reason and I fucking hate it. I feel selfish. I feel jealous and I feel like I'm a bad person for wanting things and I can never ask for things fucking ever because I don't want to be a burden on people or seem too needy and I need to strategize and hype myself up to ask for things for several days or weeks and sometimes months. simple things. simple fucking things. I can't fucking ask for things.

whoo boy this is long and rambly and I don't think it helped very much but I wrote it and I'm gonna post it and probably think I'm a fucking idiot tomorrow or something. I dunno.

[hawkwhore]

Rebound - Hawk X Female!Reader

taking place some time after his breakup with moon, (probably end of S3 era after his redemption) he starts to develop feelings for y/n, but he isn’t sure if he’s ready for another relationship after what happened with moon. this results in constant disguised flirting to avoid commitment, leaving y/n confused on if he likes her, or is just joking around.

p.s. thank you guys so much for 100 followers!! :) i decided that im gonna make a hawk imagine as a thank you since i’ve been thinking about doing it for awhile. im so scared to post this bye.

words; 2,444

includes; light swearing, angst, fluff

It had gotten to a point, that it was almost bothersome. Bothersome, the way he would talk to you, and pretend like it was nothing.

“Hey gorgeous,” he greeted you as you sat down at Hawk’s lunch table. Your friends smirked and you rolled your eyes, trying to repress a smile. He did this all too often, making comments that shouldn’t be made unless it meant something more.

“Hi.” You sat down awkwardly, never knowing how to respond to his uncomfortable remarks. Not that you exactly minded them, you’d be lying if you said you didn’t have a bit of a thing for Hawk. But what you didn’t like, however, was not being able to tell if his comments were serious, or just another way to amuse himself over your reactions.

“So, we were just talking about the next All Valley. You’re coming to watch, right?” Hawk asked you as he bit into his food. You were never really into actually taking these karate classes, but you were a supportive friend to the group and always came to watch them fight. “Yeah, of course.”

“I still think you should join the dojo and fight with us, Y/N.” Miguel said hopefully and you smiled at him, preparing to reject the idea again. “Yeah, plus, you’d look pretty hot in the uniform, right guys?” Hawk joked, looking to the table for agreement. You let out a sigh of disappointment at the comment, laughing it off as the rest of the group agreed.

“Yeah, not happening.” You said while grinning, shutting the idea down for the millionth time. Hawk frowned. “You’re lame.” He stuck out a finger from behind the sandwich he was holding to point a finger at you. “Oh well. Looks like you guys will have to find another way to spend more time with me.” You joked, and gave a shrug of your shoulders to your friends.

You had thought, this would have been a good opening for Hawk to say something like ‘You’re right, do you wanna go out with me this weekend?’ but of course, he didn’t say that. He didn’t say anything, really. The conversation just went on.

It made no sense to you why he acted the way he did, but never made a move. It was truly infuriating at times. Eventually the bell rang, and you all parted for the second half of your classes. You wouldn’t see Hawk again until your last period, which was both upsetting and a relief for you at the same time. He’s just so unpredictable.

There had even been times you’d called him out on his behavior, like when you all went out to Golf N’ Stuff and he practically acted like you two were a couple the whole night. He was complimenting you, putting his arm around you, and it prompted you to quite literally say, ‘If you actually like me that much why haven’t you asked me out?’ In a taunting tone towards him, wanting to see what he’d do.

For the first time in a long time, he’d seemed intimidated. He retracted his arm from you even, and after a moment’s silence regained his usual composure to spout a “You wish,” and laugh it off. It hurt your feelings a little, honestly. Was he just using you for the comfort without the obligation? Could it have easily been anyone else besides you? You were determined to find out, but you’ve just been stuck playing the long game.

It was later that day when you reached your final class that more unsurprising events from Hawk occurred. You had been sitting in the general center area of the classroom when Hawk walked in, and he shot a wink your way as he took his usual seat behind you.

“Hey,” he greeted. You turned around to face him, noticing once again how cute he looked in his red hoodie that you wish was yours, and replied nonchalantly. “Hey, how was bio?” You asked him. The teacher wasn’t here yet, so you were thankfully able to converse without being yelled at.

“It was wild,” he started, and his eyes lit up while his mouth curled into a devious smile. “We actually dissected some shit today. Just completely ripped the frog’s guts apart.” He spoke, feeling accomplished. “Totally badass.”

You mimicked the way a person would vomit, exclaiming how disgusting that story was. “And that is exactly why I am not taking biology.” You said while giggling.

He rolled his eyes playfully, but watched you intently as you laughed. He didn’t say anything at first, just smiled softly. “I love your laugh, it’s so cute.” There it is. Except this time it seemed a little more sincere than a harmless flirtation. Too bad that you know that’s all it really is, though.

You furrowed your eyebrows at him in a confused look at his compliment like you always do, and turned back to the front of the class when you realized the teacher had just arrived.

It can’t be that he’s scared to ask you out in some sort of fear of rejection, because you’ve made it pretty clear how you feel many times before. When it first started, you tried to reciprocate the things he did and said. But every time you tried, he brushed you off and made you feel like he didn’t want that. So, what, he could flirt with you, but you couldn’t flirt with him? How is that fair?

You considered these thoughts throughout class, and it was starting to frustrate you. Seriously, how is that fair?

You had become so focused on these thoughts, in fact, that you didn’t notice when the teacher had called on you. “Y/N,” Hawk shook your arm from behind you trying to get your attention back onto the class, and you whipped your head up. “Yeah, sorry.”

When class was over and you headed out of the room, Hawk was close to follow behind and pull you to the side before you got too far. “Hey are we still on for tonight?” He asked confidently, referring to your plan to watch the new WandaVision episode together at his house after school. You would’ve been nervous about this, but luckily Demetri was coming, so it shouldn’t be too awful.

“Yeah, duh,” you said while walking towards the exit with him. When you reached his car, you looked around. “Where’s Demetri?” You questioned, as Hawk started getting in the drivers’ seat. “He didn’t tell you he wasn’t coming?” He said boredly. Suddenly you felt tense, but you masked that with a look of annoyance. Figures.

“Ugh, what? No? He’s annoying. Why not?” You complained as you got in the car, no longer waiting for Demetri to show up. “Family dinner, I think?” He responded, while you buckled in your seatbelt and checked your makeup in the little mirror.

“Okay, well, his loss I guess.” You tried to hide your anxiousness about the fact you two were now going to be alone together at his house, with continued annoyance about Demetri’s cancellation.

“Yeah definitely, what loser would pass up an entire hour of sitting next to you?” He commented smugly, trying to lighten the mood. “Half-hour.” You corrected, turning your head away and ignoring the flirtatious intention of the comment.

You shook off the unexpected change of plan and suggested some music, to which Hawk agreed. You both terribly sang along to a few songs while chatting about WandaVision theories until you got to his house, and went inside.

“So what was that in class today?” As you two were walking upstairs to his room, he asked you this almost through a bit of laughter. “What do you mean?” You looked for clarification, hoping he didn’t mean what you thought he did. “You never lose focus in class.” He confirmed.

“Yeah I don’t know! Just zoned out I guess.” You tried to explain without giving him the details on the thoughts that caused your zoning out, thankful for not having to be in direct eye contact with him as you answered while walking inside his room.

Unfortunately, this answer was not good enough for Hawk. “Bullshit! What were you thinking about?” He encouraged lightheartedly, assuming this topic of conversation wouldn’t be anything deep. How wrong he was.

You sat down on his bed and he did the same, and you tried to think of what to say next. At your silence he continued, “You were probably thinking about how hot I am, huh?” You lightly smacked his arm and let out a breath of defeat.

“I don’t wanna kill the vibe by talking about this. I just wanna see Evan Peters in the next episode.” You tried changing the topic by making a joke, but he didn’t budge.

“Dude, what is it? Seriously you can talk to me.” He looked at you sincerely and moved a little closer, detecting this might be more serious than he thought. As annoyed as you were that he wouldn’t give this up, your heart melted a bit at this action.

Then, that heart started beating incredibly fast when you realized what you were now going to have to admit to him. It’s fine, you told yourself, you’ve been wanting to get this off your chest for ages, so just do it.

“Do you like me?” You blurted out.

That is not how you intended to start this conversation at all.

The smirk that was always planted on Hawk’s face immediately fell, and he suddenly looked nervous. “What?” He asked, trying to avoid answering.

Lucky for him, you had more to say.

“All you do, every time I see you, is make flirtatious comments towards me, and it’s weird. It wouldn’t be weird if you actually meant them, but you had plenty of chances to act on it and you haven’t, so at this point I’m wondering if you’re just using me as some sort of fun rebound to mess with and you don’t even like me at all, especially since whenever I tried to flirt back you brushed it off and acted like I was an idiot for doing that, so if you don’t actually like me I’d appreciate if you stopped doing what you’re doing because it’s confusing and I don’t know how to act around you anymore.”

You hesitated for a moment after your very passionate speech, and finished with, “That.. is what I was thinking about during class.”

You looked up at him anxiously and saw an expression of hurt and guilt on his face, and he gulped harshly at the realization that it was his turn to talk.

“You’re not a rebound.” He spoke softly, avoiding eye contact, almost reverting back to his Eli persona. You felt a glimpse of hope at this, but waited for him to continue, fidgeting with the ends of your shirt’s sleeves in impatience.

“And I’m sorry I made you feel like that was even a possibility.” He said louder, slowly regaining his confidence in his words. “I’ve been nervous, after Moon, about getting into another relationship.” He admitted to you, finally looking into your eyes.

Now that he wasn’t as nervous anymore to explain himself, suddenly you were. Where was this going?

“I didn’t want to commit to anything, I was..” He took a breath, as if ashamed to say it, “Scared.” He looked down, avoiding your gaze again, but continued. “I just didn’t want to screw up the same way I did before, and grow a relationship like that just for it to end so soon.”

“So you thought you’d just flirt with whoever was around to compensate your need for love?” You interrupted harshly. You felt a little bad, but you were still angry, and insecure.. and it still sounded like a rebound.

But all your thoughts of self-doubt went out the window when he took your hands in his. “No!” Hawk said, almost shouting in disbelief at you. “I like you a lot, Y/N. I just didn’t know what to do about it. I didn’t want to make things serious and get hurt again, or even worse I do something stupid and hurt you. But I guess my attempt at ���liking you from a distance’—“ He put emphasis on those words, as though making fun of his own phrasing. “—ended up being stupid and hurt you anyways. And I’m really sorry for that.”

Hawk poured his heart out to you, and you were in shock. You don’t think you’d ever seen him so vulnerable before. You couldn’t think of anything else to say, so you did something you thought you’d never do.

You kissed him.

His short look of confusion as you leaned in quickly faded when he realized, and he happily accepted the kiss. He moved his hand to hold your face, his other one on your waist, and you lightly rested your hands on his chest. A sense of relief washed over you, finally understanding what was going through his head all this time. Before the kiss could deepen, you parted from him to say something.

“I understand,” You moved your arms up a little, wrapping them around his neck while talking, and he held your waist loosely. “But I hope you know that we don’t have to be like you and Moon. You’ve changed so much since then. And I believe in us. I want to be with you.”

You stared into his eyes intensely, hoping he would say exactly what you’ve been wanting him to say to you for months.

His puppy dog expression broke into a huge smile, and he nodded. “Yeah, I want to be with you too.” He leaned in again, much more confidently this time, and kissed you deeply.

He kept his hold on your waist tight, and your lips continued to move together as your hands grasped onto the back of his neck. He leaned forwards slightly and moved his hand to hold your jaw, but accidentally broke the kiss from a smile he couldn’t manage to suppress.

You giggled at this, giving him another quick peck on the lips before turning yourself towards the TV. “So, WandaVision?” You reminded him, laughing to yourself a bit at how things escalated.

“Oh, right,” Hawk hesitated, looking at you for another second. “Fine.” He gave up the idea of kissing you more, and searched for the remote.

“I guess we should be glad Demetri didn’t come after all.” Hawk smiled slyly as he picked up the remote, and cuddled up next to you on the bed.

You laughed, and curled up close to him as he turned on the show. “Yeah, definitely.”

———————————————————————

ok hi i hope this wasn’t terrible i’ve basically never written a fanfic before but if y’all liked it you can send me requests??

also random thought i got uncomfy just writing them kissing even though i read intensely nsfw fanfics on the daily so idk why that happened but anyways. LMFAOOO

bye thank u for 100 followers excuse me while i hibernate because this post is embarrassing

[tobesobri]

Nervous

the one where Y/N might be insane but Harry is definitely a shy nervous idiot. (~7k) 

thank you @ anon for requesting this! I tried to do it justice, but I’ve honestly never written Harry this way so 😬hopefully it’s decent. Apart from this being probably the only request i’ve ever done, this is also my first piece of one-off writing i’ve posted in a long time, so I do really hope yall enjoy it as much as I do! Thank you to @fromyourstrulyh​ @aileenacoustic​ & @smokeinherperfume​ for beta reading and just generally being incredible ❤️As always, your feedback, thoughts or just a reblog are super appreciated!!

The busy conversation could not overpower the way the sun felt on Y/N’s skin. Sometimes it burned a little too hot, but other times it felt just right and she found herself basking in it, ignoring all her friends a few times too many. She knew if they were any further inland from the beach, the hot L.A. sun would be completely unbearable, but the breeze that swooshed through the courtyard every so often was enough to make the weather practically perfect. 

She no longer regretted going for one of her summer dresses that had straps and a shorter hemline. Her other options had been one with sleeves or a midi skirt, but either of those would have left her boiling, even if she only had her bathing suit on underneath. The last thing she needed when seeing all her friends again was to be sweating buckets. 

Especially in front of Harry. 

She couldn’t remember when he’d first joined their ever-growing group, but she wasn’t going to complain about it. He was nice to look at, which was just about all she ever did because he wasn't a man of many words. All of their conversations burnt out within a couple minutes. She never had any idea what to say to him because frankly, he intimidated her. All of her friends had various connections to Hollywood, but he was most definitely the most famous person she knew. So knowing what to even say to Harry was a whole other obstacle than just simply being acquainted with him.

But she did like to look at him whenever she could get away with it. Particularly when he was chatting with someone else and she obsessed over the way his dimples went in and out of his cheeks every time he smiled. If she wasn’t staring at his face and admiring the freckles or how green his eyes were in the sun, she shamelessly watched his hands. Whether it was while he articulated them in conversation, or while he picked up his sandwich to take another bite, she couldn’t take her eyes away from them.

She wanted nothing more than for him to just have a normal fucking conversation with her like he did with everyone else.

“Hey.” Mel nudged her elbow into Y/N’s side, forcing her eyes away from Harry for the first time in the past three minutes. “Do you want to share a slice of chocolate cake?”

And for the first time since they’d sat down, something other than Harry piqued her interest. With enough sparkle in her eyes to blind someone, Y/N nodded eagerly. “That shouldn’t even be a question.”

Mel shrugged and looked over the dessert menu again to pick out the right slice of chocolate cake between a plain one, one filled with fudge in the middle, and one packed with triple chocolate--whatever that meant. 

Trev, who sat beside Harry and right across from Y/N, folded his arms and leaned onto the table, “So Mel, how’s it going with that guy, uh… Alan?”

Mel rolled her eyes but kept them glued to her options of chocolate cakes, “It’s Adam.”

“Does it matter?”

Y/N bit back a smile and sat against her seat, waiting for the typical show between Trev and Mel where he let his jealousy spew out like boiling hot lava and made fun of whatever dude she was seeing all because he was too up his own ass to just ask her out. It was entertaining for the whole table, though, and especially for Y/N.

It was then, in the heat of Mel’s insults about Trev’s own miserable love life, that Y/N and Harry shared a glance, and only a glance because it was so quick, she thought she was imagining things. Just the familiar green of his irises burned into her eyelids was enough to know it wasn’t her mind playing tricks on her. She’d been snickering at the two in front of her when she blinked over at him, possibly because he had already been looking at her. As soon as she did, however, within less than a second he’d looked away. She would take it, and the way it made her entire insides feel like they were being electrocuted, and run with it though. He’d looked at her for the first time all afternoon and she just might gain the courage to try and talk to him again. If he would let her of course. 

She thought about their last conversation and how it seemed like centuries ago, but also may have been the reason he hadn’t said a word to her today yet. A smaller portion of their group had gone to LACMA on an off day so it wasn’t as busy. She tried to talk to him about the Diego Rivera painting he’d been standing in front of which he had humorously mistaken for Frida Kahlo. Looking back on it though, she cringed at the way she’d laughed at his mistake because he probably didn’t find it all that funny. He had still laughed right along with her, as his cheeks reddened with embarrassment and he tried to find a quick escape to avoid interacting with her again on their museum trip--which he had done, successfully. 

He knew Diego Rivera from Frida Kahlo, though, he wasn’t stupid, but whenever she was around and he had to communicate with her, he turned into a big dumb pile of mush who wouldn’t be able to tell his left foot from his right. He had never been so fucking nervous around someone in his entire life, and so naturally, he no clue what to make of her.

The bickering between Mel and Trev died down when their waitress returned to take dessert orders as a busboy collected dirty dishes. Although dessert was Y/N’s favorite part of every meal, she found herself pouting at the thought of their afternoon passing by a lot quicker than she expected it to. 

The topic of discussion shifted once the sweets all arrived and suddenly they were all going on about Tiger King conspiracies that Y/N knew jack shit about, but still listened intently as if she did. She asked a dumb question every once in a while, which made everyone at the table groan in frustration. Eventually, though, they got onto more topics she didn’t understand the references to so she gave up. 

Instead, she found herself eyeing Harry’s sampler of various cookies, particularly his painted fingers as he broke off pieces and popped them in his mouth. He had had black nail polish on at some point, but most of it had chipped off by now. The rings he usually wore to excess had dwindled down to just one on his middle finger. She missed them, even though she was sure his poor hands were in desperate need of a break from all the jewelry. His tattoos were on full display now, soaking up all the sun they could after being under long sleeve sweaters all winter. The black ink stood out against his slightly tanned skin, and especially against the red, floral print flowy button up he wore. She felt like it’d been ages since she saw him in something so casual, but they were all headed to the beach soon after all.

“Do you want some?” When she heard his voice, her eyes shot up to his face, realizing she’d been caught. Realizing he was looking at her and speaking to her because she’d been staring at his fucking hands not the cookies.

Since she couldn’t let him know about that, she nodded, “Uh sure.”

She felt even worse about taking a half of a chocolate chip cookie from him when he reached across the table and his poor, beautiful hand collided with her half-full cocktail glass that instantly dumped all over the table. It caught everyone’s attention when the glass broke and quickly Y/N and Trev grabbed napkins to soak up the liquid before it reached their laps while Val saved their plates. 

Harry hid his face in his hands after placing the half of a cookie down on his plate again, utterly embarrassed by himself. “I’m so sorry,” He mumbled between his fingers after dragging his hands down his face dramatically to see the mess he’d made.

“Literally the clumsiest fucker I know, you know that?” Trev said while sopping up the rest of her drink and discarding the used napkins on an empty plate. Val called over their waitress once she was close enough to help deal with the broken glass.

“Can I buy you another one?” Harry asked, his cheeks flushed red when she looked at him again and it was definitely not from the sun. He looked embarrassed and apologetic and she was positive he felt stupid because she knew she would in his place, but it made her sad that he thought any of that when it was just a silly mistake.

Harry definitely would not have minded sinking into oblivion right there and then.

“No it’s alright, wasn’t that good of a drink anyways.” She shrugged, easing his nerves just a tad, but he still felt horrible.

“I’ll pay for that one then.” He concluded, not giving her a chance to shoot him down this time, however. And when the checks came long after Harry’s incident that gave him plenty of time to recover, she didn’t have much say in it either when he snatched up her check before the waitress could even hand it to her.

Y/N could easily pay for herself, but if Harry insisted she wasn’t going to argue. It was his way of feeling better about the situation and she’d leave it be, even if it did bug her that he said he’d pay for her drink, not her entire bill. She kept her mouth shut, however, and just gave him a mean look so at least he knew she wasn’t happy about it, even if she had no intentions to stop him.

She escaped to the restroom while everyone wrapped up, knowing she’d have to go the second she got near the ocean later and she did not want to use the disgusting public bathrooms at the beach. They were always full of sand, salty water, and smelled ten times fishier than normal.

Her confidence was at an all time high when she looked in the mirror, wondering if it had been the sun or Harry to do it to her, but either way it really didn’t matter. She felt like she was on a cloud and like nothing could touch her or bring her back down.

Except, of course, when she walked back out to reality and realized everyone had already made their ways to the Malibu coastline. Sighing, she pulled her phone from her little crossbody bag and walked towards the main entrance. Before she got too far into her Uber app, she glanced up at a familiar shade of bright red floral print standing near the doors and instantly floated back up to the clouds. 

“Did everyone leave?” She asked once she walked up to Harry. He held onto a cardboard box of leftovers in one hand and his keys in the other. His sunglasses, that were previously perched on the neck of his shirt, had made their way to the top of his head, pushing his hair back from his face.

He nodded. “I, um… I didn’t know if you had a ride, or...?” He stumbled and she wasn’t sure why, but it was cute nonetheless, especially since she initially had the impression that Harry would be a little more self-assured than he was turning out to be. That was what she liked best about him though, that he tripped over his words and confused artists and spilled drinks. 

She held up her phone in her hands and smiled, “I’m getting an Uber.”

He furrowed his brows, but she didn’t notice when she resumed picking out the cheapest option on the app to take her down PCH as she maneuvered around him and stepped back out into the warm summer afternoon.

He followed quickly, nearly tripping over himself and then cleared his throat, “Well, um, I’ve got a car.”

She paused, glancing at him over her shoulder while she narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “What kind of car?” 

He had no clue why she’d asked him that, but given the little smirk on her lips, he had an inkling that if he didn’t have the right kind of car, she’d prefer to stick with her Uber options. What he was positive about, however, was that he’d never liked her more than he did right there in the parking lot as she planned on roasting his choice of transportation.

“Uhm...” He glanced around the lot until he found his car and then pointed it out, “that one.” 

Her eyes fell to a bright yellow, convertible 1972 Ferrari Dino and she tried her best to not let him see the way her jaw practically hit the asphalt beneath their flip flops. Instead, she swallowed, stood up straight, faced him, and put her phone away.

“That will do.”

The surface streets were quiet, even though she’d forced him to put the top down while they drove. They were boring, too. She wanted to throw her hands up and feel the air between her fingers and flowing through her hair. Instead, they were stuck at every single red light imaginable on the short trip it took to get to the highway.

“How long have you had this car?” She asked once they’d stopped again, making herself at home in his passenger seat as she rested her elbow up on the door where the window would normally be if she hadn’t rolled it down the second he started the engine.

“Mm,” He thought, pinching his bottom lip between his thumb and index finger while his other hand clung tightly to the top of the steering wheel, enough so that she could see the whites of his knuckles. Was he nervous? Did he not like to drive with the top down? Or did he just not like to drive with her constantly staring at him?

“Couple years probably,” he answered finally while adjusting the radio to turn some music on and she took that as her cue to leave him alone. Maybe he was nervous because he liked to focus on the road while driving and not on her silly questions. 

They got up to about twenty-miles-an-hour now while he flipped through stations, his eyes bouncing between the console and the road. He tuned the radio until she wrapped her hand around his forearm.

“Sorry, I just,” she let go of him after he gave her a look, one that she couldn’t quite read. He could have been mad at her for touching him for all she knew. “I really like this song.”

He moved both hands to the steering wheel as he sat back into his seat. He’d never heard the song before, but if she liked it then he’d leave it on. They drove for a bit longer until he heard her softly singing along and glanced over at her. He’d only meant to look for less than a second, but when she met his gaze, he got a little too distracted. 

Her eyes darted out the windshield and her sudden, “Harry!” caused him to slam on the breaks, luckily just seconds before he managed to rear-end a Honda Civic. He was positive his hunk of metal would have done quite some damage.

“Shit,” he muttered, running his hand through his hair to shift it back into place as his heart raced a million miles.

Then, of course, it was racing for other reasons when he heard her giggling from beside him and once he was done freaking out, he joined in. He was such a fucking idiot but it apparently had made her laugh, so… silver lining?

Once they were on the highway, he no longer felt as tense. The wind from the ocean beside them blew his hair in every direction as he got up to the speed of traffic and she watched his hands as they shifted gears. She let her eyes, and her mind, wander while staring at his tattooless arm and the way the muscles flexed under his skin. It gave her that dangerous self-confidence all over again. 

He heard her seatbelt click and immediately shot his eyes over to see what the actual fuck she was doing taking it off while he was going over sixty miles an hour. An all new reason to be anxious filled his entire nervous system as he watched her, through various quick glances, standing up in his passenger seat with no care in the world about flying out. As if he hadn’t already nearly caused an accident, here she was trusting him enough not to do it again.

Her skirt flew up in the breeze but she didn’t really care too much about that either, and neither did Harry. When she finally managed to peel her hands off the windshield, she threw them up and shouted at the top of her lungs, forcing nothing but a huge cheesy grin onto Harry’s face even though he wanted to pull over and kick her out for doing what she was doing and nearly giving him an aneurism.

She sat back down within seconds though, and his blood pressure settled at a more normal pace when she had her seatbelt secured around herself again.

“Wouldn’t have offered you a ride had I know you were going to do that!” He shouted over the sound of the wind.

“I’m in a Ferrari on PCH, you should have expected it!”

He shook his head at her as he glanced over his shoulder to switch lanes and make his off-ramp. She was fucking nuts. And he was a fucking idiot.

They sat in the parking lot together for a moment, staring out at the ocean, after he put the top up, closed the windows, and cut the engine. She was still coming down off of whatever high possessed her to stand up mid-freeway and he was trying not to act like a complete fool being alone with her again where it was quiet and they weren’t moving anymore. 

“How come we never talk much?” She asked him before either of them could even think about getting out of the car and joining their friends down on the sand.

He stared straight ahead at the waves for a moment as he thought about why they weren’t as close as he wished they were and that it might be his fault. He just never knew what to say to her to not completely embarrass himself. Within the past hour, it was clear he still hadn’t figured it out.

He sighed, “Probably because you stand up in cars and make me nervous.” He didn’t realize, however, how his words would be twisted until she did so.

“Oh, so we don’t talk because I make you nervous?” She teased with a smirk but she clearly had no idea how right she was about that. Or maybe she did have some idea about it. 

Either way, he tensed up realizing he had, yet again, said some dumb shit and went and embarrassed himself again.

“I’m kidding,” she assured when he remained quiet, “I just think we should talk more.” She fidgeted with the hem of her dress and it most definitely did not go unnoticed by Harry. “Then maybe one day you’ll let me drive your Ferrari and you can stand up.”

The breeze dropped several degrees as they walked through the sand to their friends, who were already set up with a few chairs and an ice chest full of wine coolers. It was a nice relief from the burning afternoon sun, but Y/N still regretted not packing a sweater.

As they walked together, someone made a whistling sound at them as if suggesting something had happened with her and Harry between the time it took them to get from the restaurant to the beach. It made him uneasy when everyone looked at them like they were amidst a walk of shame, and even more so when he glanced down at her to his side to see she was also slightly uncomfortable. 

“What took you two so long?” Trev asked the second she and Harry reached their little set up. Everyone was already either taking their clothes off to run into the ocean, or securing their spots in the warm sand, nursing a bottle or two of alcohol.

Y/N squared her shoulders, “Harry almost caused an accident.” 

His head whipped towards her so fast, he was sure he pulled a muscle in his neck. It was one thing for her to know about his dumbassery, but everyone else didn’t have to be in on it too. 

A couple of their friends giggled, making Harry scratch at the back of his neck nervously, shaking out his curls and hoping they didn’t all think he was the biggest imbecile alive for not knowing how to drive a car like that. Especially since he did know how to drive, his brain just didn't function the way it was supposed to when Y/N was around. 

“Or maybe,” Trev leaned in suggestively glancing between the both of them before settling his eyes on Y/N, “Harry finally won you over with his Ferrari.”

She scrunched her face, trying to figure out what the fuck Trev meant by finally? Harry never tried winning her over at any point in the past. Hell, before today she had been afraid that he hated her, wondering tirelessly what she did to get on Harry Styles’ bad side. 

When she glanced at Harry, she was relieved to find that he seemed just about as confused as she was. So it was just Trev being a slimy asshole as per usual.

She rolled her eyes and shoved Trev’s shoulder as she walked past him, eliciting an overly dramatic response as he held his shoulder like a ginormous baby and called her a bitch under his breath.

Both Harry and Trev watched as she lifted her dress over her head, tossed it and her purse into a chair full of other people’s clothes, and flashed Trev her middle finger while she glanced over her shoulder at him. Before she ran off to the water, however, her eyes found Harry just in time to see the way his eyes flickered back up to her face. She smiled knowingly at him just before taking off, hoping his gaze would find its way to her backside again as she did so.

And frankly, her bathing suit didn’t leave too much to the imagination. It was all held together with strings that could come undone with just a single tug from Harry’s hands. Her bottoms were definitely cheeky and her top… Harry should not be looking.

But he was, he constantly found his eyes gravitating towards her as he sat beside Trev on land while she played in the water with the others. He also found his fists clenching whenever one of the other guys in their group got a little too close. He should also not be jealous. 

“You know,” Trev began, sitting back against his seat and resting his wine cooler on his knee, “we all know you’re infatuated with her…” Harry turned to look at Trev like he was insane, “except for her of course. Probably because you act like an idiot around her and she thinks there’s something seriously wrong with you.”

Harry really couldn’t disagree. He did act like he only had a handful of brain cells sometimes, but in his defense, he didn’t do it on purpose. He had no clue why he couldn’t operate properly whenever she was around. No one had ever done that to him, not a single person he ever found remotely attractive turned him into a helpless ball of nerves the way she did.

Sighing, Harry stared out at the horizon through his tinted sunglasses and mumbled grumpily. “Maybe a little bit.”

“Knew you were too good to be true,” Trev teased, assuming Harry was referring to there being something seriously wrong with him rather than being maybe a little bit infatuated with her.

Harry shook his head with an exasperated smile on his lips, “You’re a cunt.”

“Listen man,” Trev sat forward again, taking a swig of his drink, “She’s fucking insane sometimes, but if you like her…” He shrugged.

“How insane is she, exactly?” Harry asked, although he already had an inkling given her earlier actions in his car. 

Trev snorted out a laugh, “Not like that. She’s just like… I don’t know. Does crazy shit. She was the first one to jump off this huge ass cliff when we went diving a few summers ago.” Trev reminisced fondly before laughing again when he recalled something else Y/N had done. “She got drunk off her ass at New Years and did a handstand in the middle of Gasolina.”

Although Harry didn’t know what Gasolina was, he still imagined how fucking hilarious that party must’ve been. She was the good kind of crazy, he assumed, not the kind that might chop off his fingers in his sleep.

“Besides, all she does is work and hang out with her dog.” Trev added, leaving Harry to wonder profusely about what kind of dog she had. He considered a dachshund at first, but maybe a chihuahua was more her speed. 

“Anyways,” Trev sighed, settling into his seat again, “I just think you should stop acting like a twelve-year old and ask her out if you like her.”

Harry’s brows furrowed again, “Maybe you should take your own advice.”

He watched as Trev’s eyes landed right on Mel, who had her arms around Y/N’s shoulders as they descended further into the ocean, and he sighed even deeper this time. “That’s way more complicated than the two of you.”

He never would have offered her a ride, no matter how much he liked her, when she’d first came up from the water and threw her dress back on. She was a wet, hot mess for a long while until they all packed up after they watched the sun set and it started getting dark. There was no way he was leaving her there to wait for an Uber by herself, however, once they’d gotten everything packed up into the back of Trev’s Jeep. 

Not that she was pulling her phone out to scroll through the app or asking anyone else for a ride. 

So, she wound up in his passenger seat again, staring at the sky as it mixed through various shades of peaches and purples until it turned a dark blue color and the stars started coming out as he drove. They listened to some oldies station while heading north on PCH and she never stopped looking at how beautiful the world was around her, especially the part of the world that sat right next to her as he drove silently with his sunglasses on top of his head again. He was cute when he focused, she thought.

When he reached her driveway, she really didn’t want him to leave yet. She’d even considered taking him the long way to her house and hoping he wouldn’t notice just to spend more time with him. She stared up at the stars still while they sat idly in her front yard until she looked over at Harry with a smile and he met her eyes curiously.

“Do you wanna meet my dog?”

She shivered as she closed the door behind Harry, locking it before returning her attention back to him. Seeing him planted into the familiar backdrop of her house felt weird, but it also swelled her stomach with a million butterflies.

“I’m gonna change real quick. The living room’s through there,” she pointed and he followed, “you can make yourself at home.”

While she disappeared up the stairs, he wandered hesitantly, removing his shoes before he walked onto the carpet in her living room. He sat down in the corner of her loveseat, taking in all the surroundings. Her house was nice and he thought about what she did for a living, trying to remember if it had ever come up in conversations before. He didn’t get too far lost in his thoughts and his wandering eyes when there was a sudden bang on the back door behind him followed quickly by loud and incessant barking.

When he looked out the windows that faced her backyard he realized she did not, in fact, have a dachshund or a chihuahua. She had a fucking pitbull.

Possibly even more fitting, and slightly less scarier than the chihuahua. 

“Sorry,” she ran in the living room just then, in a pair of lounge shorts and a loose-fitting long sleeve, and went straight to the back door, “I promise Patrick’s not as mean as he sounds.”

“Patrick like… from Spongebob?” Harry asked as she unlocked the back door to let him in.

She grinned like Harry was the first one to automatically get the reference without her having to explain it, “He was a little bit dumb as a puppy.” She shrugged and opened the door and the tan-colored pitbull ran straight towards Harry, jumping on the couch and into his lap like they were already the best of friends.

Patrick got about ten licks to Harry’s poor face before Y/N got a hand in between and tried pulling the stubborn dog away. She apologized again and even though Harry assured her that it was okay, he still seemed highly uncomfortable. When she moved, hoping Patrick would stop molesting Harry with his tongue, she’d been horribly wrong and he went back in for more and Harry was far too polite to do anything about it himself besides making feeble attempts at pushing Patrick away awkwardly.

So, instead, she ran around the couch and pulled him off of Harry, squeezing herself between him and her dog. While Harry wiped off his face, she turned toward him once Patrick had settled down, “I swear he’s trained, he just… forgets boundaries sometimes.” She said the last bit through her teeth, directed specifically at Patrick while petting the dog on the head. He just continued to stare past her at Harry, panting and wagging his tail.

“It’s alright, I don’t mind.” Harry assured her again. He really didn’t mind. Maybe a little, but it wasn’t the end of the world to have too much attention from a dog. Especially if it was her dog. 

It was quiet for a moment before she perked up like she’d just remembered something, “Oh, do you want something to drink? I forgot to ask before.”

Harry didn’t really want her to leave just yet, but on the other hand, he desperately wanted her to. He could feel the nervous sweat on his forehead and his clammy hands and he just needed a moment to collect himself. So he nodded, “Sure,” and she bounced back up onto her feet and left him alone with Patrick.

While Harry had successfully wiped the sweat from his face on the back of his shirt and his hands on his jeans--and cupped said hand over his mouth to check his breath-- Patrick scooted right up to Harry’s side, curled into a ball, and rested his head on Harry’s lap. Which was the exact sight Y/N returned to moments later with a couple glasses of water in her hands.

“Guess he likes you, then.” She laughed lightly while handing one of the glasses to Harry and sat down on the other side of Patrick. It was a gap bigger than the one between them previously, but Harry was okay with that. Maybe he’d stop sweating so profusely from just being in her presence. 

They were quiet again, but not for too long that it ever got awkward. Harry was sure, at this point, that Y/N was a professional at avoiding awkward silences with the way she said the most random shit right out of the blue. 

“Do you like stand up?”

He looked at her like he had no clue what the fuck she was talking about, but in hindsight he should have known. In the moment, though, when she caught him off-guard, he literally could not fathom in his brain what she meant by stand up. So he just shrugged and mumbled, “I guess?”

She didn’t seem to notice his enormous brain fart when she reached forward to grab the remote from the coffee table a little too excitedly. And once she turned on Netflix and searched for John Mulaney, it clicked in his head. Maybe Trev had been right. Harry might just have something slightly wrong with him.

He’d never personally seen any of Mulaney’s stand up, but he’d heard the name and when Y/N mumbled that he was one of her favorite comedians, that’s all he needed to know about the guy. Harry would sit through hours of his stand up if it meant spending more time with her.

John Mulaney had already gotten a few giggles out of Harry within the first five minutes of The Comeback Kid and every single time it happened, Y/N glanced at him proudly as if she were the one telling the jokes and making Harry laugh.

She felt even more full of herself when John’s punchline about exes came seven minutes in and Harry nearly laughed his entire ass off at, ‘Anyone who’s seen my dick and met my parents needs to die.’

Actually, she was certain he’d done some damage to his body when Harry laughed so hard that he held a hand to his stomach, doubled over on the couch and choked on his own spit. She tried not to laugh at his reaction as she sat forward and grabbed his glass of water off the coffee table to hand it to him.

Her movements caused Patrick to get up and jump off of the couch, settling for a cool spot on the hardwood floors to stretch out on as he panted. Harry sipped on his water until he could breathe properly again.

“It’s okay,” she reassured him, “the dick jokes get me every time too.” Although she intended for it to make him feel better, his cheeks just burned twice as hot from the way she said dick so nonchalantly. 

“Are there more dick jokes then?” He asked.

“There’s always more dick jokes to be made.” She confirmed, making him chuckle again. “So you’ll stay and laugh at them with me?”

He wasn’t sure at what point she’d gotten so close to him on the couch, but when she laughed and he felt her shoulder shake against his own, he quickly tensed up. It wasn’t that he didn’t want her closer, he just didn’t want to act like a complete fool again. And his reaction to just her touching his shoulder was enough to tell him foolery was on the horizon. 

He also wasn’t sure when it became a given that he was staying to watch all of the John Mulaney specials on Netflix with her, but he wasn’t complaining. As long as he got to hear her laugh and imitate some of the jokes and weird voices John did, he was happy staying exactly where he was all night and, in fact, when she announced they’d burned through all of them, he was disappointed. 

Even more so when she flipped the TV off and he wondered how much longer until she planned on saying goodbye and then who knows how long until they’d see each other again. 

It was quiet, apart from Patrick’s snores, but not for long. 

“I’m sorry I stood up in your car and made you nervous.”

He turned and met her eyes and she was very clearly not sorry about it, but he didn’t want her to be either. “S’alright.”

They stared at each other for a moment while he thought about what else she was going to say, if anything at all. But he should have known better than to assume she didn’t have anything else up her sleeve.

It was just that the next time she spoke there wasn’t the perpetual cute little grin on her face. Instead, she met him with a frown. “To be honest, Harry, I kinda thought you hated me before today.”

He scrunched his face, absolutely detesting that she ever thought that at all. “I don’t hate you.” He said it like it was the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard.

She tilted her head to the side while she looked at him and then gave him a reason why it wasn’t that ridiculous of an assumption on her part. “Then why do you always avoid me?”

He felt bad about the way he acted around her, especially since she had the wrong impression about it. He didn’t avoid her, he just didn’t know how to talk to her when he always acted like a neanderthal around her.

Sighing, he shuffled a bit in his seat as the anxious sweats really made themselves known. “You were right when you said we don’t talk because you make me nervous.”

She grew more confused by that, “You’re literally Harry Styles, how do I make you nervous?”

He shrugged, “Been trying to figure it out myself.”

Although he’d been avoiding her gaze like the plague, sure that he’d never be admitting any of this to her while looking right into her eyes, she still smiled sweetly at him. He was Harry fucking Styles, who got up on a stage more times than she could imagine and sang in front of thousands of people, but she made him nervous.

She took him off guard again. “Are you seeing anyone right now, Harry?”

His eyes quickly panned to her, wide and puzzled by her question. “No… wh--”

She didn’t give him a chance to finish after she’d gotten the only answer she wanted out of him and suddenly she was a lot closer than she’d ever been. In fact, there was no longer a single gap between them as she reached her hand up to his jaw and pulled his mouth down onto hers. Even though he didn’t know how to react at first, feeling her on his lips, his brain swelled with all the good kinds of chemical reactions and he kissed her back, wiping his hand on his jeans again before he touched it to the side of her face, cupping her cheek in his palm softly.

Normally, he’d be the one making the first move, but he didn’t really mind it being the other way around with her. Who knows if they ever would have gotten to this point if they’d waited for him to make the first move, after all. 

He definitely didn’t mind it when she swiped her tongue across his lower lip and positioned herself into his lap. His head had fallen back into the cushions while she straddled him and got a little too carried away, but, again, he didn’t mind it. He fed off of her energy until he was slipping hesitant hands down her waist and on her backside, making her moan into his mouth that both felt and sounded like heaven. 

Heaven. He was in heaven and this completely bizarre angel was in his lap, making out with him on her couch and rubbing herself all up on him in ways that were so very unheavenly.

Neither of their dopamine infused brains registered the sound of Patrick’s collar when it was vastly more important to focus on the way she giggled around his mouth and how his tongue felt swirling around with hers. 

However, when he jumped up on the couch beside them and began licking Y/N’s face, she snapped back to reality for a moment. Pulling away from Harry with a whine, she sat back on his knees and wiped the slobber with the back of her hand while she stared over at Patrick.

“Can I help you?”

Patrick did some whining of his own while he dug his paw towards her, begging for attention. So she gave it to him, petting his head and scratching his ears while Harry watched, still very aware of his hands on her hips and her free hand leaning on his shoulder.

“Crazy dog,” she muttered mostly to herself while Patrick laid down next to them.

“Like his owner,” Harry teased, mostly just to bring her attention back to him.

It worked too as she pinged her eyes back to Harry as fast as humanly possible and faked offense, “You think I’m crazy?”

“You asked me to meet your dog and then somehow hooked me into staying for three hours to watch John Mulaney specials and then completely out of nowhere… ended up here.” He nodded his head down at their current positioning with her still perched on his lap.

It took her a moment, but she fully realized what she had done soon enough. And once she did, she was quick to apologize. “Shit, Harry, I’m sorry. I didn’t meant to--”

Before she managed to get much further away from him in failed attempts of removing her foolish self from his lap, he grabbed hold of her wrists and brought her hands up to either side of his head, pulling her as close as she’d been before with just an inch or so gap between their lips this time.

“I think that’s why you make me nervous,” He admitted softly and after glancing between both her wary eyes, his gaze landed on her lips just moments before he stretched upwards to meet them with his again. 

They fell back into place completely, except this time, she’d gone as far as to undo all the buttons on his shirt while she made out with him on her couch. Once it was open and she had full range of his chest, she pulled away from him again and watched his body rise and fall quickly as he caught his breath. She traced her fingertips over his butterfly tattoo, and like magic formed a few of them in his stomach while he watched her through heavy eyelids. 

When their eyes met again, she smiled excitedly. “Does this mean I can drive your car now?”

[mayans-sauce]

✨Day 8✨

Pairing: Bishop Losa x Female Reader

Word Count: 1.8K

Warnings: NSFW, 18+ ONLY, cursing, daddy kink to the max, masturbation (male/female), sex toy-ish, mention of bodily fluids and a lot more dirty stuff lol

Join my ❕GROUP CHAT❕ if you want to get notified when I post❤️

Want to be specifically tagged for this Advent Calendar only, let me know!

❕When the text is in cursive that’s Bishop’s thoughts, dialogue and story while watching the videos you send him❕

❤️✨Advent Calendar Masterlist✨❤️

Thank you so much for reading and supporting! It really means a lot! I love you all❤️

Advent Calendar taglist: @hey-taylor-hey @justahopelessssromantic @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @curtainlover @yourwonkywriter @tomhardydallasstarsgirl

━━━━━━━✨✨✨✨✨━━━━━━━

Filming something at the clubhouse had been the number one thing you had wanted to do. Since all of the guys were away on the business trip, it left the clubhouse almost completely empty all the time, except for Chucky being there to hold down the fort.

You had sent him home early that evening, telling him that you would stay a while to get some stuff in order, so he might as well just take an early night.

Walking around the place as your mind races with ideas. At first, you thought that sitting your naked self on the pool table would be fun and have a little play session, but that just seemed too easy. You wanted it to be something special for Bishop, something that held a great value to him.

As you stepped into Templo, your eyes locked themselves on his gavel, sitting peacefully on the table. “No... I shouldn't.. should I?” Biting your fingernails as you contemplated if you should do this. You weren't sure if Bishop would be mad at you for doing this.

Looking at his chair, sitting lonely in the room, begging for you to sit your sweet ass on it. It was almost too perfect.

“Fuck it; I'm doing it.”

Grabbing the gavel and hurrying to the bathroom to give it a good wash. As you washed it thoroughly, you couldn't help but start loving this idea more and more. This was definitely going to get you punished when he got home, and just the thought of it made you wet by the seconds.

Getting back into the room again, you looked around. This was the place where they sat and discussed important business, the place where decisions were made, and you were about to do the most unholy thing in the room, and none of them would know except for Bishop.

You felt shy and nervous as you started to take off your clothes. Yes, you were all alone, and you were 99% sure that they didn't have any hidden cameras in here, but just the whole atmosphere felt intimidating.

Sitting on his chair as you got into position, spreading your legs wide for him to see you. Setting up the phone on the table, so he had a full view of you sitting on his throne.

Pressing record, and you were now ready to rock his world.

✨—————————✨

Traveling your hands all over yourself as you warmed up for what you were about to do.

“I wanted to do something very special for you, Bishop, something I knew you would never forget, especially when you walk into this room and sit in this chair. I think you can already guess where I am.”

“In my fucking chair, in... fuck... sweetheart... you are lucky that I'm not over there, or else I would have you bent over my knee and given you a good spanking.”

Bishop had already prepared himself for the video. Just as last night, he was naked on his bed with his dick in his hand, waiting for you to progress with your little show.

Putting two fingers in your mouth as you sucked them nice and wet. Making the travel down your body as you stop at your most precious spot, hovering your fingers over your sensitive pearl.

Looking into the camera with your brow arched, asking him through the screen if you should continue. You imagined that he was already begging you to continue with what you were about to do.

Putting pressure on your clit and rubbing it in delicate circles. The sensation making you close your legs for a moment but quickly prying them open again as you knew Bishop wanted to see.

He started to pump himself in his hand, and he prayed that you would keep your word today and not be a little cock tease.

Slipping your fingers into your wet pussy as your other hand palmed your breast. This was only the pre-show. You had a whole fucking event planned out for him.

Stopping everything you were doing as you giggled out.

“Don't worry, daddy, I'm not done yet. This was only the beginning. I have an even more special surprise for you. Something that is always going to be ingrained in your brain when you look at this.”

You reached behind your back where you had hidden his gavel and held it up for him to see.

“Fuck are you serious.” Bishops heart almost jumped out of his chest, his eyes getting darker with desire, and he could feel himself twitching in his hand.

“I'm going to be a good girl and make myself cum with this daddy.”

Taking the handle into your mouth as best as you could, sucking on it like it was his dick. “Mmm, I bet this is making your cock so fucking hard. The thought that I'm about to fuck myself with your gavel.”

When the handle was slick with your saliva, you made the painfully slow journey down to the area where you needed to feel it the most. Making a stop at your breasts to circle your nipples gently with the tip.

Traveling down further, you stopped at your most sensitive place, your clit pulsing in need to be touched. When you made contact with it, you let out a loud gasp.

Bishop was still slowly teasing himself at the sight of you. He had already wanted to chase his high multiple times, but he knew that the reward of waiting until you came together was going to be mind-blowing.

The anticipation was killing you, and all you wanted was to fill yourself up. But you continued to tease him, drawing out the time.

“What do you think, daddy? Should I put it in? Fuck myself with it and imagining that it's your big cock fucking me?”

“Fuck, yes! Be a good little girl for me and make yourself cum.”

Quickly putting it in your mouth again before you brought it down to your entrance.

Slowly slipping it inside of yourself. The thickness of the handle made you arch your back at the slight painful stretch, but all in all, it felt heavenly. “Fuck, that's so big.”

Bishop felt like he was going to have a heart attack. There you were sat. His fucking queen on his throne with his gavel deep inside your warm tight pussy.

Grabbing onto the metal part of the gavel, you slowly started to move it out until only the tip was inside and then filling yourself up again. Moaning out at the now delicious stretch. “So good... so good, daddy.”

Sticking your thumb into your mouth like Bishop would do most of the time. Sucking your thumb and moaning around it. Increasing the speed of the gavel.

Moving your wet thumb down to circle your needy clit. “Fuck daddy, that feels so good.”

Bishops eyes were fixated on your needy pussy swallowing his gavel whole. His hand moving faster on his hardness as he neared his climax.

Pulling your new favorite toy out to show him how it was covered in your wetness. “This is how you make me feel, Bishop. Wet and horny only for you.”

Pushing it inside of you again, now you were desperate to get to the finish line. Moving the handle rapidly in your tight hole. Your other hand palming your breasts, pulling and pinching your erect nipples for added stimulation.

“I'm going to cum, daddy... are you going to cum as well? I want us to cum together.”

“Fuck keep talking like that, baby.” His heavy moans were the only thing that could be heard in his room. His dick was twitching in his grasp as it was begging to cum.

You felt that heavenly pressure snap inside of you as your warm wetness exploded out of you. “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Daddy, please! Fuck me, please. So fucking good.” Holding onto the armchair as the pleasure was too much to handle. Your whole body shaking as you tried the best that you could to move the gavel through your orgasm. Stars clouded your vision as your mind went foggy.

White delicious cream burst out of his tip, covering his hand and abs. This was possibly one of Bishop's strongest orgasms he has had in his life. He felt like he might have a heart attack and pass out. Head hung low as he basked in the post-orgasm feeling, his hand still pumping himself slowly as he wanted it to last forever.

Once you had calmed down from the intense orgasm, you pulled the handle out. Winching as your core was way too sensitive now.

Holding it in front of the camera so that he could have a good look at your thick cream sliding down it.

“That was so good, Bishop. I need to do this again sometime.”

Putting it inside of your mouth to clean it up. “Mmm, taste so good.”

Moving closer to the camera so that he could see your face better. “I hope you liked the show, daddy. Now I think I may do a round two just for myself.”

“Naughty girl.”

Blowing him a sweet kiss and saying your goodbyes.

“Bye, daddy, I love you.”

✨—————————✨

”I love you baby.”

Bishop didn't know what to do with himself after. He was still holding onto himself as his other hand went over his eyes to calm down.

After a few minutes, he picked his phone up again and snapped a picture of the mess that was made, and sent it to you.

📲To: My Wife❤️

Look at the mess you made baby girl!

📲From: My Wife❤️

Looks delicious😈 wish I was there to clean it up😘 you know I always love the taste of you.

📲To: My Wife❤️

Don't start with that now! You are going to get me hard again.

📲From: My Wife❤️

And what if that's exactly what I want to do😈

📲To: My Wife❤️

Are you trying to kill your old man over here?!

📲From: My Wife❤️

Maybe☺️ so I'm guessing that you enjoyed my little performance?

📲To: My Wife❤️

Daddy was very pleased with you little girl. Looking like the queen you are on your throne. I think you gave me a heart attack.

📲From: My Wife❤️

Be careful old man! I don't want you going to an elder home just yet😉

📲To: My Wife❤️

Haha. Very funny.

📲From: My Wife❤️

So is this something you would like to see again?

📲To: My Wife❤️

Next time I will be in the room watching your little play baby girl🍆💦

📲From: My Wife❤️

Sounds like a plan❤️

📲To: My Wife❤️

It's a date!

[nanowrimo]

The Real Goal of NaNoWrimo

What have you experienced on your NaNoWriMo journey? Writer Lorna Smart has participated in NaNoWriMo for many years, and has found goals to help her writing even when she hasn’t reached 50,000 words:

I had heard about National Novel Writing Month from an author friend of mine who was very much into it. I was doubtful at first as I had only been writing poetry and short stories up to that point. I was also somewhat intimidated by the 50,000 words in a month target. I was also worried that I may be subjected to the sort of snobbery that I had suffered in other writing groups, especially if I did not reach the targeted word count. All of this worry was enough to put me off for a couple of years. 

Then in 2013, I said to myself, “What have I got to lose? If I don’t like it, I don’t have to do it again. It may even result in a complete novel.” 

Still, with a little trepidation, I set up my account and thought of an idea. It didn’t take too long for the rest of my fears about joining in to be put to rest. I was sent a lovely welcome message, shown where I could find support, hints, tips, and generally, chat with other writers through the forum. I visited a few of the forum groups before making my introduction and was pleased to see that the responses to other newcomers were very welcoming. I made my introductory post and their response to me was exactly the same.

I was really going to try and write 50,000 words in a month. Yikes! I didn’t that time or any other time that I have participated since. For the first couple of years, this really frustrated me and I felt like a failure. However, after a change in personal circumstances that led to me not participating for a couple of years, I had a lightbulb moment. I was looking at this all wrong. This wasn’t a competition. Even 2000 words is still 2000 more words towards a completed story. I was also forgetting the most important thing, to have fun.

The best advice I can give for anyone thinking of starting their National Novel Writing Month journey- but is a bit concerned - is just go for it.  You have nothing to lose but potentially something to gain. The website is easy to navigate, the people are friendly, and there is lots of support and guidance. Also, have fun exploring your ideas. Anything you write for National Novel Writing Month is more than you would have written otherwise.

Lorna Smart is a 39-year-old writer and who lives in Norfolk, UK. She has been writing poetry and short stories since she was 9 years old. In more recent years, she has branched out into blogging and article writing. Smart finds writing very enjoyable, a great way of expressing herself, and even therapeutic at times. She’s been very fortunate to have some of her poetry and articles published both online and in print. She also enjoys drawing, card making, and cross-stitch.

Photo by Aleks Marinkovic on Unsplash  

[jayeray-hq]

He’s My Best Friend: Aone Takanobu

Post Time Skip/Manga Ending Spoilers!

Warnings: fluff and very, very slight implied NSFW and innuendo

Choose your own ending platonic or romantic!

He’s My Best Friend Masterlist - Character Masterlist

Thank you as ever to the wonderful and talented Tay @deathcab4daddy​, thank you for beta reading for me! I don’t know what I’d do without you!

The Past: How You Met

           You’d met Aone Takanobu the day you’d started school for the very first time. It had been an exciting day for you, one you’d been looking forward to for a long time. You distinctly remembered putting on your fancy new uniform, admiring your reflection in the mirror. You’d almost missed out on breakfast because you ignored the calls for you to join in, you’d been so caught up in how grown up you looked and fantasizing about how amazing school was going to be.

When the time had come for you to be dropped off, you’d pranced happily out of the car without fear, and entered your classroom with your head held high. The teacher had greeted you warmly and helped you find your desk, and you’d immediately set about trying to befriend the people next to you eagerly chatting away.

             The desk mate on your right, whose name you’d long forgotten, had been all too happy to speak with you at the time, but no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t get the boy to your left to talk. He’d look at you, and he seemed to be listening to what you said to him, but no matter what questions you asked, no matter what you said or did, he didn’t respond to you, not even when you asked his name.

             In the end, your short attention span meant you’d given up on talking to the quiet white-haired boy, and instead interacted with the others around you. It had been an incredibly enjoyable morning, and it only got better when you were invited outside for recess after lunch. You and some of the girls you’d befriended over the course of the morning had all plopped down together so you could show them how to make flower crowns. It was a skill you were rather proud of at the time, one that your next-door neighbor, who you’d thought was the coolest girl ever- a middle schooler, and clearly knowledgeable about all the best things, had taught you.

             It had all been going extremely well, right up until you’d heard a ruckus on the other side of the playground. You’d looked up from the crown you were making to see a bunch of boys all gathered around the white-haired boy who’d refused to speak to you. Looking at them all grouped together you’d realized rather abruptly that he was really big, standing at least a head taller than the tallest of the other boys and rather broad too.

             Curious you’d tuned into what the other boys were saying to him. You’d gotten the shock of your young life when you realized they were making fun of a boy who looked like he could easily take them all on if he wanted to. Bloodthirsty little thing that you were, you’d watched on eagerly, sure that the boys were about to get beat down, as they called the white-haired boy all sorts of mean names, insinuating he was stupid and slow.

             However, you’d gotten another shock when you realized he wasn’t doing anything. Instead, he just stood there, taking their words, head down and unmoving, not bothering to protest or stand up for himself. It had confused you quite a bit, as you couldn’t fathom why he didn’t try to make them stop one way or another.

             The taunts had increased in fervor a couple seconds later, calling the white-haired boy a cry baby of all things. Concerned and nosy, you’d gotten to your feet and edged closer to the group of boys trying to get a better look. Up close you could see the boy really was crying, though he still wasn’t making any noise, fat tears were running down his pale cheeks. It was a sight pitiful enough to tug your heartstrings, so you’d decided in all your five-year-old glory, that you couldn’t allow it to continue.

             Like the warrior of truth and justice that you’d thought you were at that age, you’d launched yourself at the group of boys, small fists swinging, doling out sharp kicks to the shins and telling them off for being mean. You’d taken them all by surprise, and between that and the fact that you threatened them very fervently with cooties if they didn’t leave you and the white-haired boy alone, they scattered.

             You’d then rounded on the boy, who flinched but still didn’t move, staring at you with wide brown eyes. He’d looked so scared at that moment, clearly afraid that you were about to be just as bad or worse than the boys you’d scared off. Instead, you’d grabbed one of his hands and dragged the confused stumbling boy after you, back to the nice patch of grass where you’d been making flower crowns.

             You’d pulled him down onto the grass next to you, and started back on your work again. As your fingers moved to piece the crown together, you’d lectured him firmly about letting those other boys push him around, and then showed him how to make a proper flower crown. You’d then plopped the one you’d just finished on to his head, and admired your work, extremely pleased with yourself.

             Aone had gazed at you for several long minutes, clearly bewildered, but then had finally spoken to you in a slow, stuttering voice, introducing himself as Aone Takanobu. It turned out the reason he didn’t speak very much was because he had a bit of a speech impediment that made him stutter. It was the reason the boys had been making fun of him earlier, which you thought was just silly.

             You’d told him firmly that it didn’t bother you at all, because you’d given him a flower crown, which meant the two of you were friends for life now. Aone had stared, wide-eyed and clearly astonished, a faint blush on his pale cheeks, but had apparently accepted your declaration at face value. By the end of that recess, you’d had a flower crown of your own in your hair, messy and clumsy but made with care, and the two of you had been best friends ever since.

 The Present: Your High School Days

             Frustrated beyond belief, you slowly beat your head against the table, hoping that you could somehow beat the information into your brain since nothing else seemed to be working. Fortunately, before you could give yourself a concussion on the table, a large warm palm slipped beneath your head.

             You turned your face, keeping your cheek pressed to the hand underneath your head, and looked up at your best friend who was peering at you with clear concern on his face. Seeing his apprehension, you heaved a long sigh and lifted your face up, not wanting to make him worry. Though most didn’t realize, because they judged him solely by his appearance, Aone was an enormous worrywart and would fret himself into anxiety, especially when it came to his friends.

             Despite growing taller, broader, and more muscular, Aone was the same sweet teddy bear of a guy, with a heart made entirely of marshmallow fluff, as he had been when you’d met way back when you were five. The only difference was that these days he was no longer picked on, both because he was too intimidating for most to try, and because you and his other best friend had done your best to encourage him to stand up for himself.

             Futakuchi had been an interesting addition to your group. He’d apparently taken one look at Aone, and much like the other people you met, assumed just because he was big he would have the attitude to match. However, unlike other people, he’d simply thought it was cool and had wanted to befriend him because he thought they’d enjoy the same things.

             He’d been just as stubborn and persistent as you had back when you’d first befriended Aone, coming around all the time and acting like an enormous pest. He’d followed Aone around everywhere, and as his one and only best friend at the time, it had seriously irritated you. It angered you to the point where you and Futakuchi got into petty squabbles almost every day. He thought Aone should stop hanging out with you because you were a girl and obviously lame, while you thought Aone should stop hanging out with him because he was a jerk.

             Things probably would’ve continued like that, except one day both of you had been caught up in squabbling, and suddenly Aone had once again been approached by others looking to bully him. Unfortunately for them, both you and Futakuchi were entirely wound up from fighting with one another, but when presented with other, easier prey had rounded on them. The two of you working together had been enough to bring them to tears, the group of boys running away with their tails between their legs.

             After both you and Futakuchi had gained a grudging respect for one another. Futakuchi had realized that you could be just as vicious as he was in defense of Aone, and you realized that he was willing to stand up for your friend who you were incredibly protective of.

             Things had been easier after that, though the smart-mouthed brunette was still closer to Aone than he was to you, you still got along fairly well. It helped that after Futakuchi had dragged him into volleyball, a place where Aone’s height and size were something to be praised rather than something to make fun of, Aone had gotten much more confident. These days, if your bickering with Futakuchi got out of hand, Aone was right there in the middle of the two of you, pushing you apart, and giving you both scolding looks.

             A gentle hand resting on your head pulled you from your thoughts and you refocused on your friend, who was looking even more worried than he’d been before. His brow was furrowed with concern, his face close enough to yours that you could actually see the pale hairs of his eyebrows that tended to look nonexistent from a distance because of how light they were.

             “I’m alright,” you assured him, pulled back to the present by the gentle weight of hi hand as he set it atop your head, clearly trying to regain your attention, quickly explaining, “Just struggling with math as usual.”

             “Do you need help?” he asked, his voice a low rumble in his chest, the words coming out confidently.

             Aone had managed, with the help of some speech therapy and budding confidence, to get his stutter mostly under control. It rarely ever appeared these days, and never in your presence. He still had to think over what he wanted to say before he said it, which made him a little slow to respond sometimes. However, as long as you waited patiently, he would never leave you hanging, even if he still didn’t talk much around others for fear the stutter would come back.

             “If you don’t mind?” you asked him, giving him the most pitiful look you could muster, earning an amused huff from your friend who knew exactly what you were doing.

             “Show me,” he agreed, taking a seat beside you.

             You did as asked, sliding your work toward him and watching him work through it patiently. You probably should’ve continued to focus on work, but you’d had something on your mind for a while now.

             “Hey, Aone?” you asked, hesitantly.

             The tone of your voice must’ve tipped him off that you had something serious on your mind, because he instantly looked up, all his attention on you. He waited patiently for you to put together the words, not rushing you, simply waiting to hear whatever you had to say.

             “Are you alright?” you managed finally, peering at him worriedly, “I mean, with the third years leaving and Futakuchi being named captain.”

             The words ‘instead of you’ hung between the two of you, unsaid but clearly heard. Honestly, you’d been more than a little shocked that Futakuchi had been named captain, with his oftentimes caustic personality you weren’t sure he had the disposition for it. In your own personal, and likely highly biased opinion, Aone would’ve been much better. He had the patience for it, along with the admiration of his kouhai, and was the best player on their team. It just didn’t make sense to you that he’d been passed over in favor of Futakuchi.

             “I will miss the third years,” Aone told you, after a moment of contemplation, “But their decisions are their own. We will simply have to do our best to make them proud, though they are still coming to practice fairly regularly.”

             You couldn’t help the small smile that flitted across your face at that. You’d known despite their decision to leave that the third years were going to have a bit of a hard time letting go. You’d gotten to know them fairly well, having come to as many games and practices as you could manage in support of your friend, who’d done the same for you.

             You’d honestly really liked Moniwa, and had hoped the captain would stick around a bit longer. He’d been really good both to and for Aone. He was also an incredibly sweet guy, and you’d admired that he was able to deal with both Futakuchi and Kamasaki who was like an older and only slightly mature version of him.

             “Futakuchi will be a good captain,” Aone expressed, quiet but resolute, without any form of regret in his gaze, as he answered your other question, “I trust him to make the right decisions for the team, and will do my best to support him as vice-captain. We’re going to go to nationals next year.”

             That was honestly just like him. Aone was probably one of the most supportive people you’d ever met and a fantastic friend. He wasn’t upset at all and had instead chosen to instead be happy for Futakuchi and focus on what he felt was most important.

             “I’ll be right there, cheering you on,” you told him with a smile, because if he was happy, you were happy.

             He smiled at you, small but sincere as he gently rested his hand on top of your head in thanks, before indicating that you should get back to work. You sighed, but went along with it, glad that he was so willing to help you. You didn’t know what you would’ve done without him.

 The Future: Platonic

             “What are you doing?” the deep voice of your best friend asked, his words startling you enough that the nails you’d been holding in your mouth dropped to the floor with a clatter. You turned to look at Aone, who was standing in the doorway, a distinctly unimpressed look on his face.

             “Fixing it?” you replied, the words coming out more like a question than the statement you’d intended.

             The look he gave you for that was one more judgmental than you’d ever thought your sweet, teddy bear of a friend would ever be able to manage. It made you both simultaneously proud, and a little irked knowing the credit for that lay almost entirely at the feet of you and Futakuchi. You’d never thought it would be turned on you in quite this manner though.

             Aone strode forward and began to thoroughly inspect your work. His hands handled the bookcase parts with care as he gently turned them over seemingly without effort despite the fact that you’d struggled to lift them on your own. The stupid thing had broken after one too many books had been stacked on it, which you’d found rather infuriating. Still, you hadn’t wanted to get rid of it, and so had been trying to fix it yourself. Judging from the look on his face, you hadn’t been doing nearly as well at it as you’d hoped.

             “Well, Mr. Construction worker? What’s the verdict?” you asked curiously, “Is it salvageable?”

             “Maybe,” he told you, completely noncommittal as he held out his hands for the hammer you’d been using. Reluctantly you passed it over to him, knowing full well it would be much safer in his hands than in yours.

             Gently he caught one of your hands with his before you had the chance to pull them back, as quick as ever despite only playing volleyball recreationally these days. He tutted audibly over the state of them, clear disapproval and accusation in his gaze that had you wilting in shame.

             “Why didn’t you call me?” he asked as he gently tugged you to your feet, pulling you toward the bathroom where your first aid supplies were kept.

             “I didn’t want to bug you, you’re a busy man these days, and I totally had it under control,” you told him, even as you hopped up on to the bathroom counter, well used to Aone behaving like a mother hen by now, holding out your hands when he asked for them.

             “Next time, call,” he scolded firmly, the words making you smile despite the fact that he was telling you off. He’d come a long way from the shy little boy you’d met at recess all those years ago. Back then he never would’ve dared to scold you, now he did so without a second thought.

             Being vice-captain of the volleyball team had been good for him, and he’d really come into his own, helping Futakuchi lead them to nationals during interhigh that last year and retiring shortly after. You’d actually been a little surprised he retired, especially since you’d fully believed he had the talent to go pro, a belief backed by several offers from different places for a sports scholarship. However, Aone had confided that while he loved volleyball, life in the spotlight simply wasn’t for him. All he wanted was something peaceful where he didn’t have to talk too much and could work with his hands.

             He’d certainly found that in construction, and was slowly but surely working his way up the ladder. The maturity and assuredness he’d found through volleyball had really helped him become independent and strong, so much so that at times you wondered if he really needed you anymore.

             However, the moment intrusive thoughts like that flitted across your mind Aone was suddenly there, with his quiet but insistent presence, assuring you he would never, ever leave you alone. The two of you were best friends for life, and you knew it, though it was nice to see just how far the two of you had come together.

             At times you found it almost ironic, the one who’d needed looking after, and become the one who did all the looking after, your dynamic flipped. Not that you minded. You found it sweet how he fussed over you still despite both of you having other people in your life nowadays. Speaking of which…

             “How did you know I was trying to fix something on my own again anyways?” you asked, more than a bit suspicious.

             The look he gave you in turn spoke volumes. You were going to kill Futakuchi, that little jerk, he was such a tattletale. It was no matter though, you’d just have to remind him once again, that Aone loved you most.

             The clear exasperation in your friend’s eyes told you he knew exactly what you were thinking, and you couldn’t help the joyful laugh that escaped your lips. Honestly, dragging Aone away to make flower crowns that day was probably the best decision you’d made in your whole life.

 The Future: Romantic

             You would’ve thought that of the two of you, it would be you who would initiate a romantic relationship with Aone, that you would jump into it just as fearlessly as you had jumped into being his friend. However, despite the feelings that had slowly but surely grown over the years, you hadn’t been able to take that last step. Something always held you back.

             A part of you desperately wanted it, so badly you could almost taste it. You knew the two of you could be good together, your years of friendship over two decades now, had certainly proved it. However, you were afraid. Back then, Aone had accepted your friendship in part because he simply hadn’t been able to say no. He’d been too shy and unsure to do so even if you both thought that it had worked out for the best in the end.

             He’d grown a lot since those early days, and you liked to think he was much more assertive about getting what he truly wanted these days. However, you’d noticed very early on that Aone never, ever, said no to you. It didn’t matter how much it might inconvenience him or how much he might dislike doing whatever it was you requested. He would quite literally bend over backward for you.

             It meant you’d had to be very, very careful about how you framed your requests, doing your best to be extra considerate of him and his feelings. It also meant that you were now too afraid to confess, afraid he would say yes to you just because it was what you wanted and not what he actually desired. Accidentally forcing a relationship on your friend because he was too sweet to say no to you would be the absolute worst, which meant you were stuck.

             Futakuchi, who’d noticed and teased you rather relentlessly over your feelings, had tried to insist that the only reason Aone never said no to you was because he was head over heels in love with you. However, you were pretty sure he was just being a jerk to you again, and you had done your best to adamantly ignore everything he said, much to his mounting frustration.

             You’d convinced yourself that it was for the best, that if you just waited you would get over your silly one-sided crush. Unfortunately, said crush had lasted over a decade and was showing no signs of fading any time soon. In fact, a part of you knew it was far beyond a crush at this point, but you were absolutely adamant about keeping silent, sure that you were doing what was best, not just for Aone, but for you as well. Because getting into a relationship with him, only to discover later that he’d only ever loved you platonically was a blow you weren’t sure you’d ever be able to recover from.

             Thus, you’d allowed yourself to stay firmly in denial, and didn’t suspect a single thing when Aone came by to pick you up from work that day. The two of you had planned to hang out together, and you were more than a bit excited, especially since he’d said he had a surprise for you.

             You’d noticed as you walked that he was dressed rather nicely, in dark jeans and a plaid button down rolled to the elbows to show off muscular forearms. It was actually a bit unusual for your friend who seemed to prefer comfy clothes in his off time, usually sticking to t-shirts and sweats, or athletic wear when he could. You’d hastily shoved the thought as far down as it would go the second it occurred to you though, locking it up with all the other non-platonic things you’d thought about your friend over the years.

             Instead, you’d focused on pestering him, trying to figure out what this surprise he had planned for you was. However, as to be expected, he was incredibly tight lipped about it, simply offering you amused, indulgent smiles that let you know he knew exactly what you were trying to do, and wouldn’t cave in.

             To your surprise, he’d driven you to a beautiful park, one filled with beautiful fields of flower. You’d been utterly ecstatic about it, practically bouncing as he showed you the picnic basket he’d brought along. The two of you had set up in a nice spot and hung out for a while.

             You’d been so preoccupied with the food and talking to him that you hadn’t noticed that he’d been doing something with his hands, right up until he carefully plopped a neatly formed flower crown on top of your head. You stared up at him in shock, fingers gently brushing the petals of the flowers set among your hair, confused but feeling a surge of warmth at the nostalgia of it all as you peered up at him.

             “No matter what, we are friends for life,” he told you, his voice serious as he held your eyes, the words making your heart squeeze painfully as conflicting emotions warred in your chest. The nostalgia and love you had for him, fighting with the fact that you wanted so much more with him.

             “Futakuchi has told me that I haven’t been obvious enough with my feelings,” he continued solemnly, the name of your nemesis helping to jolt you out of your internal conflict.

             You stared at him wide eyed as he gently took your face in one of his large hands, cradling your cheek as he stared down at you intently and told you, “I’m in love with you, bunny, and would like to be romantically involved with you.”

             It took a moment for the words to process, especially since you got caught up in his nickname for you, a byproduct of an unfortunate incident with marshmallows, Futakuchi, and the fact you were smaller than him. However, once what he said finally reached you, you immediately reached out to pinch your thigh, wincing slightly at the sharp burst of pain. You apparently weren’t dreaming.

             “Are you sure?” you asked him, unable to help your worry or your disbelief that this might actually be happening. Your hands were clenched tightly in your laps, nails digging into your palms as you tried to fight the rising hope, “This isn’t because Futakuchi told you I’m in love with you is it? Because you have to be sure, and if he did tell you I swear to all the kami I…!”

             Your torrent of babble was cut off by a gentle finger on your lips, one that instantly made you fall silent and stare up at your friend in confusion. However, seconds later the finger was replaced with gentle lips, sweet and surprisingly soft against your own, the feel of them enough to make your heart race as your eyes fluttered shut.

             You savored the feeling of his mouth on yours until he pulled back. You blinked your eyes open to find him watching you with the softest expression you’d ever seen on his face, full of affection and care.

             “Futakuchi did nothing but encourage me to confess my own feelings,” he assured you, gravely, then reiterated, “I am in love with you.”

             “I love you too,” you confessed, the words spilling out, raw and unfiltered, your heart racing, giddy joy flooding through you as you realized this was actually happening.

             “Good,” he affirmed, leaning forward to kiss you again.

             You reached for him eagerly, wrapping your arms around his neck and basking in the euphoria of knowing your feelings were returned, noting that you probably owed that idiot Futakuchi a gift basket or something. For now, you were just going to savor the feeling of his lips, and enjoy the fact that you were absolutely and irrevocably in love with your best friend.

[formeandmyfics]

Jugenea Fan Fiction

LET’S JUST SEE WHERE IT GOES

During pre-production of For Me and My Gal, Gene comes to a realization

photo credit: @ohmygarlands​

(I wasn’t gonna post this as I don’t think I’m very good at ‘pre-jugenea’, but a friend convinced me otherwise. It’s not my best, but still a fun read)

1942

"Judy, focus, girl, focus," Busby Berkeley's frustrated yell echoed in the empty rehearsal hall as his little starlet tripped on her footing once again. During a turn, she went the opposite way, tripped over Gene's leg and almost fell until he caught her hand. Judy's hand slipped from Gene's as she regained her balance and she turned away from the men, her hands on her hips. Breathing heavy from their long rehearsal of the choreography for the 'My Gal' sequence, Gene looked down feeling horribly. He had never seen her imbalanced like this before, not just on her feet but her concentration as well. He could tell she was disappointed with herself, though would never admit that to 'Uncle Buzz'. "Judy, you need to get this down asap. This is the most crucial dance to the picture," Buzz said less loudly but with a very stern tone as he turned her to face him. She refused to look up at him and he went on, "Do you hear me? We've gone through this sequence over and over. If you can't get this, we might as well scratch the whole film!" "Hey," Gene said stern himself, "She's trying her best."

"She is not trying her best," Buzz said eyeing her down before turning to Gene, "I've known her much longer than you have, Gene. She's slacking off." Gene saw Judy's eyes tear up and he took a step closer, "You may have worked with her longer, but this girl works her ass off for you people. Give her some room to breathe and back...off." Buzz turned to Gene and pointed his finger at him, "Next time you talk to me like that, I talk to Freed. You're new here, Kelly, and very easily replaced." With that, he turned and started walking away, "Get it right," he said before slamming the heavy door behind him. Gene let out a heavy breath through his nose before he turned back to Judy. Holding his hand out, he wiggled his fingers, motioning for her to continue with him, "Come on." "Just give me a second," she replied as she paced a little bit having a moment to get herself together. He waited, patiently, knowing she was a tough girl and let her have her moment. But, when he suddenly heard a sob escape her, he felt so protective and just wanted to scoop her up. Screw the rehearsal, he thought, and pulled up a chair, "Sit down, Darlin’. Come here." "I'll be alright," her voice sounded very irritable. “No, come here,” he persisted and she did just that. "Want to talk about it?" When she didn't answer, he continued, well aware of the problems she was having in her new marriage from what she had told him, "Dave?" "That's part of it." Gene could feel her holding back and he decided not to push it. One thing about Judy was that if she wanted to, she would. They were both quiet for a long moment, in comfortable silence, only sounds of the birds outside the cracked window was heard. "No one's ever done that for me before, you know." "Done what, honey?" "Stand up to Buzz like that." "Not even Mickey?" Judy smiled and shook her head, "Not even Mickey." "Well, I don't think any man should speak to a lady like that, I don't care who you are. And I don't condone bullying, especially to someone I care about, someone who they just look at as a money maker. I think speaking down to someone is the most disgusting act out there. I was raised to treat the janitor the same way you treat the CEO. Humans are humans, I don't care about stature." "You're definitely not like the other men around here. And I'll tell ya a little secret," she said taking his hand which he took gladly, "Some people around here are intimidated by you because you told off LB in that letter. I mean, that took..." "Balls?" She giggled, "Yes. And the way you spoke to Uncle Buzz just now," she looked at him dumbfounded, "Not even Clark Gable would do that." Gene nudged his shoulders, "I'm an honest man, that's all. I don't play into the Hollywood bullshit, you know this. I'm here to make art, not kiss ass. And I'll stand up to any disrespectful bastard who thinks otherwise." Judy placed her hand on his cheek and looked at him with such genuine adoration, "You're a good man, Gene Kelly." There it was, the two of them staring at each other like they had on the dance floor. Only this time, Gene didn’t feel anxiety take over his body. Her hand felt so warm and soft again his jaw as she looked at him with such respect. God, he could get lost in her eyes. Breaking their stare, Judy lowered her hand and pushed herself off her chair. He immediately felt cold. “Shall we continue?” “We shall.” “I’ll get it this time,” she stated adamantly. “And it’s ok if you don’t, baby. That’s what rehearsal is for.” “Just remind me. When we go into the hop waltz, we go...” “Counter-clockwise.” “Counter-clockwise.” “Just look at me. I’ll let you know with a look if I feel you’re about to make an oops,” they got into stance, “One thing I learned on Broadway, I know how to hide mistakes.” “How do you do that?” “I make the audience think that’s how it was supposed to happen,” he said as he made a twirl motion with his finger, like his character does in the scene, where they start their big dance number. They went through the dance, singing a cappella, and saying their lines, with Gene directing by saying certain things like ‘And turn’ or ‘Under’. She flubbed the hop but for the most part, Judy was spot on. When they did the routine a second time, they went straight through, with no mishaps. They were completely lost in one another, having fun, and just enjoying themselves. When it came time to sing their last lines, his arms around her waist from behind, Gene didn’t want to let her go. Instead of releasing her so they could bounce into their chair and strike a pose, he remained holding her. And she wasn’t moving either. Her hands slid up his arms, tightening her grip on him, before she looked up at him over her shoulder. Suddenly he noticed her breathing more unsteady than it was when she was dancing, and she was looking at his mouth again. Fuck, she wanted him to kiss. Oh, he wanted to... “How was that,” she whispered. “Perfect,” he whispered back and suddenly found his head slowly, but surely, gravitating toward hers. “Gene,” she murmured almost barely. “Rehearsal’s over!” They both jumped apart as the rehearsal door banged open. George Murphy and Ben Blue, who had been rehearsing in the next room, stood there in the doorway. George then whistled, “Buzz just called lunch.” “Yeah, let’s go. I’m hungry,” Ben started before walking away down the hall. Gene watched as Judy scrambled to collect her things, and seemed awfully nervous. “You guys go ahead,” he said as he grabbed his script, “I’m not hungry. I’m gonna work some more.” “Suit yourself,” George said a little arrogantly. Gene looked up just in time to see Judy glance at him one more before George escorted her out the door. When they were no longer in sight, he threw his script across the room in anger.

Gene took a swig of his beer, in complete contentment, as he sat at the bar of Johannes. It was a tropical, outside cocktail lounge, hanging off a cliff in Malibu, with spectacular views. It was nighttime at the moment, and even though you couldn't see much of the Pacific, except the calming waves crashing own below, the views were just as grand. The lit up lights of houses and buildings all along the cliffs and mountains gave it a starry quality. Tonight, there was a Spanish-themed band, and the breeze off the shore felt heavenly in the muggy air. Gene needed this, this and more cold beer. As he motioned to the bartender for another, he felt a hand slap his back. "Hey, Pal," Van said as he slid into the empty chair next to him. "Oh, hey buddy," Gene said gleefully, "Where'd you come from?" "Just arrived with a few friends," he said nodding towards his group. Gene leaned back to look and saw Evie, Lucille Ball and Henry Fonda just walk in. Then Judy appeared beside them. Before he could have much of a reaction, Evie caught his eye and waved at him. Judy looked over curiously, and when their eyes met, her smile disappeared. She looked daunted, so much that he immediately turned back forward in his seat, his hands tightening around his beer. "Come on and join us," Van urged. "You g'head and grab a table. I'll catch up with you in a bit." Van kneaded his eyebrows at his friend's hesitancy, but nodded, "Okay, we'll be over there. Make sure you come on over." As the group walked past him, Evie quickly gave him a kiss on his cheek, but his eyes glued to Judy in hopes that she might give him a friendly smile, or say hi. But to his disappointment, she purposefully ignored his direction as she kept on walking, following Van. Fortunately, Gene’s old friend from Vaudeville, Mike Villa,  popped in, so he was happy to have the distraction.  They finished a beer and got a good chat in for about twenty minutes when Van’s group started becoming a little rowdy. The laughter was infectious. They all sounded like they were having a grand time, and Gene tried to ignore looking over, but Judy’s laugh carried over everyone’s and it made him smile. Slyly, as Gene took a swig of beer, he slowly glanced over his shoulder towards the group, nestled at a table in the corner across the way. They all burst out in another roar of laughter but Gene’s eyes remained on Judy. She looked so god damn lovely as she laughed. It felt like it was slow motion, as she looked over at him, mid laugh. Their eyes caught, and her laughter stopped, but her smile didn’t. It widened. When he smiled back, her eyes looked down as she brushed some hair behind her ear. She was blushing. Gene felt a twinge burst in his stomach again and he turned back towards the bar, letting out a breath. “She’s prettier in person, ain’t she,” Mike commented. “Who?” “That Judy Garland.” “She’s a very beautiful girl.” “How is it working with her? Is she a diva like I’ve heard?” “My God, not at all,” Gene said serious, “She’s such a treat to work with. She’s professional and talented and funny, man, she cracks me up. More than that, she’s kind. She treats everyone like family.” They both looked back over at her, and saw Judy watching them, but she quickly looked away. “She’s real cute, you know what I mean?” Gene saw his friend raise his eyebrows suggestively before taking another swig of beer and he shook his head, “Yeah, man she’s real cute, but you know what? It’s a whole different ballgame. She’s not a girl to pick up, believe me. And she’s married.” “Since when does that stop anything. From what I hear, that band leader husband of hers is away a lot and everyone knows she don’t spend her nights at home. Look at her out now.”   “Listen, no disrespect, but Judy’s become a very good friend of mine. She’s going through a lot. I’m protective of her, so please…” “Gene, buddy, it’s cool. No harm done. Like a sister to you, huh?” “Yeah, like a sister,” he murmured. He lied. “Hello.” Both men were a little startled when they heard that captivating, yet soft, voice suddenly behind them. Mike immediately stood up like the Queen had just walked up to him. Now, he looked like a frightened schoolboy rather than a man that had just made a suggestive remark about her. “Miss Garland, how do you do. I’m Mike Villa.” She shook his hand, “Nice to meet you. And it’s Judy.” “Mike is an old friend of mine from New York,” Gene casually interrupted. “Are you in town visiting?” “Actually I moved here a few years ago. I work over at Fox in the editing department.” “Oh, how lovely,” she turned to Gene and placed her hand on his arm and lowered her voice a bit, “Can I talk to you?” “Ya,” he said curiously and stood up. “Mike, I hope it’s okay if I steal Gene away for a little bit.” “Go right ahead.” Gene felt such relief when she took his hand in hers. He let her guide him across the café towards the back stairs that lead down to the beach. When their feet hit the sand, Judy kicked her shoes off and let go of his hand. He watched as she walked away from him, towards the water. He kicked his loafers next to hers but tread behind her slowly, hands in his pockets. She wanted to talk to him, but she hadn’t said a word yet. “Isn’t the view beautiful,” she asked softly, turning her head over her shoulder to look at him. He had to stop a moment, as the moon reflecting off her hair and face mesmerized him. He couldn’t help but stare and suddenly she looked away, giving a nervous giggle. “You know, when you look at me like that, it doesn’t make things easier for me.” Gene walked up next to her, their ankles in the gentle surf. He had a quick thought of how good the cool sand and water felt on his tired feet before he replied curiously, “Make what easier?” “My feelings for you. Feelings that I don’t quite understand,” she said meekly. They both looked at each other, their eyes searching. Gene broke their contact and ran his hand through his hair terribly nervous, “Judy…” “No, Gene, listen. Ever since we became friends, I always felt this connection with you; like I could be myself, my true self, and be open and honest with you.” “Good. I feel the same.” “Then I think we need to get a few things straightened out,” she said straight-forward and serious, “I’ll go first. David isn’t the only reason I wasn’t doing my best in rehearsals today.” “Uh,” he cut in, “You were trying, you just lost some confidence there for a little bit, but you got it back.” “Do you know why I got like that?” Gene thought and shook his head and she went on, “You.” He took his hands out of his pockets and was about to speak but Judy put her finger up to shush him, “You have given me more confidence than I’ve ever felt before, not just personally but professionally.” “Then what was the problem,” he felt a little insulted.

“The night at Ciro’s. You looked at me in that way again; the way you did in rehearsal, the way you did just now. Then you just left me there…” “I told you I was sorry,” Gene mumbled feeling like an ass again. “…but the thing I didn’t appreciate is that you lied to me. You said you were fine, and we both know that isn’t true. If we have the relationship that I thought we did, then you would be honest with me, too.” Gene sighed and took a few steps away from her not quite finding his voice. She just continued to stand there and went on, “When you left me like that, I felt like you went from respecting me to hating me.” Gene immediately turned around and walked up to her. Judy took a step back at the ferocity of his swift action, but relaxed when he put his hands underneath each side of her scalp. He was looking at her with such desperation. “I could never, and would never, hate you…for anything.” “After we talked in rehearsal, I know that now,” she quivered, “But before that, I wasn’t so sure. When you left like that, and then put a wall up, I felt like I suddenly lost you, lost my confidence.” “That is far from the truth. Why would you think that?” “I thought maybe you hated me because you could see that I was starting to like you more than just a…friend.” Gene released her to anxiously bite on his nail. He glanced up at her before looking back down at the sand and her voice became a little louder, “This isn’t easy for me, Gene. Don’t you realize I just got married last year and now I’m having confusing feelings for another man?”

Gene’s chest started to heave as he took in her confession he realized now he wasn’t only one hiding, she had been, too. Judy’s voice turned to anger, “And you’re just standing there listening.” “And don’t you realize that I’m the one that I hate,” he yelled back. It was Judy’s turn to look at him dumbfounded. As such a self-assertive, and strong man, as Gene Kelly, hearing that he even remotely disliked himself made her skin break out in goosebumps, bad ones.

“I had to get away from you on that dance floor, Judy, because I was frightened,” he turned to look straight out into the sea, focusing on a small light coming from a boat towards Catalina Island, “I just got married not too long ago myself, honey, so we’re in the same boat. I hate myself because I made a promise to myself. I’m a good man, Judy, an honorable man…”

“I know that,” she wept interrupting.

“You hear all about these things that go on over here, and I said to myself, I would not get involved in any scandal or affair or chase after other women or fall in love with someone else. I was frightened because of my feelings for you. How can you fall for someone you haven’t even really been with? One can call it just an infatuation, but if it were about lust, that would be easy. You Judy Garland…you’re so much more than that. I’m standing here telling you how I’m starting to feel about you, but I’m not going to leave my wife, my growing family. I’m also not naïve. I know you can’t change what your heart feels. That’s what’s scary.”

Gene kicked a small seashell off his foots as another small wave crashed over their feet and he suddenly felt like a timid school boy. Before he knew it, Judy walked in front of him and slid her arms around his waist, resting her cheek against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, slowly rubbing her back up and down affectionately.

“How do I make you feel, Gene?”

Gene wasn’t sure he heard her right, and then processed how she might want him to answer, but he just found himself saying, “Like Christmas morning.”

She looked up at him in awe and he went on, “How do I make you feel?”

“Sometimes you make me feel things that I don’t even feel with my husband.”

Gene swept some hair behind her ear and moved his face a little closer to hers, “If we hadn’t been interrupted at rehearsal, would you have kissed me back?”

Judy thought it a stupid thing to ask and she didn’t hesitate with her own absurd question back to him, “You don’t lust after me?”

Gene grabbed her head and crushed her lips to his. He heard her give off a noise, not of startle or surprise, but more of relief. Her lips were so full and cushy, he wanted more. This wasn’t acting, they weren’t on camera, no one else was around, this was them, he reminded himself as he pulled at her lips. Her arms tightened around his neck as she pressed into him. Gene adjusted, sucking at her lower lip now when she opened for him. He didn’t even feel his hand grab a fist full of her hair as he mimicked her move and swept his tongue into her mouth feeling her silky one reach for him. That mouth that presented the most distinctive speaking voice, and most beautiful song, and that taught him how to kiss on screen, was now kissing him back eagerly. When he felt his libido stir, he knew he had to stop this before things escalated quickly.

He ended with a few loving kisses before departing. Resting his forehead against hers, he saw her bite her bottom lip smiling.

“Yes, I lust after you.”

“I would’ve kissed you back.”

“Yes, I felt that,” he teased.

They both giggled, feeling like they had broken the ice sort-of-speak, and they hugged in an understanding manner.

”Gene?”

“Hm,” he breathed into her shoulder.

“What happens now?” Gene thought a moment, “I don’t know. I guess, let’s just see where it goes.”

…And we all know where it went. The rest is Jugenea history.

[hidden-otaku-stuff]

Lockscreens (ch. 6)

tw: Pining, mentions of alcohol/drinking, gossip, brief mention of slut-shaming

Word count: 6k

Genre: Angst, fluff

All trigger warnings will be tagged and posted at the beginning of each chapter! This will have *manga spoilers*

Pairings: Bokuto x fem!reader, Kuroo x fem!reader

Summary: Nearly four years ago, Bokuto left the love of his life for volleyball. Despite all the time, he’s still very much in love with her. He comes home to a major surprise leaving him wondering…What happened while he was gone?

Masterlist | prev | next

Ch. 6: Is he the father? (20 weeks)

“Hello, my name is (L.Name, Name), but you can just call me (Name). Thank you for taking care of me.” She bowed.

“Welcome to the team, (Name)! We’re so excited to have you join us here.” Aya Nakamura bounded over, eagerly taking (Name)’s hands in her own. Her bouncy brown curls shook in her excitement. “You can just call me Aya, I don’t mind.” Aya was another recreational therapist who (Name) was set to work alongside. “Follow me, I’ll show you around.” Aya let go of her hand, leaving the lobby as she led her through the building. “The first floor is for all of our facilities,” she explained, pointing out the various rooms, “through those doors are our locker-rooms, and past that is the pool. On the other side is the weight room.” They walked past a pair of double-doors, a male walking out of it. “Oh, Makoto! C’mere.”

The male stopped, throwing his towel over his neck. He was wearing a swimsuit. “Hi Aya! Is this the newbie?”

“Hello,” (Name) bowed in greeting again. “I’m (Name). I’ll be in your care.” 

Makoto laughed, shaking her hand. “Thanks for joining the team! I’m excited to work with you.” He looked down at Aya, “make sure to add her to the group-chat!” 

“Don’t worry, fish-boy, I will.” Makoto laughed again, waving to them as he headed towards the pool. 

“Fish-boy?”

“Oh right, Makoto used to be a pretty good swimmer. He switched over to sports medicine though,” Aya waved her hand dismissively, “something about his best friend.” They continued down the hall, passing more doors. “These are the individual training rooms. Each of our clients are granted privacy when it comes to their rehabilitation, unless they’re in the pool and weight room.” (Name) nodded, mentally taking note of everything. She hadn’t realized how immense the facilities were. “There are also dance studios available to the right for yoga and other related activities.” 

“This place is so nice!” (Name)’s eyes widened. 

“Isn’t it? I love working here.” Aya beamed. “I’ve been here for the past two years, and I can’t imagine being anywhere else.” They arrived at the elevator, taking it up. “So, tell me about yourself, (Name). What made you want to be a recreational therapist?”

(Name) giggled, brushing her hair behind her ear as she adjusted her bag. “Well, all of my friends were in volleyball. I loved watching them being so passionate about something, and after becoming their manager, I realized that I genuinely wanted to be around other people like them. To help them make their dreams come true.” The elevator opened, arriving at the second floor. “That, and I know that I’ll be helping people other than athletes be able to regain normalcy in their lives.” 

“That’s so cool! Y’know, one of the other trainers here is actually a former volleyball player. My boyfriend too.” 

“Oh really?” They entered the employee space now.

“Yeah! I’ll introduce you to them sometime.” Aya glanced around the lounge. “Anyways, this is the employee lounge. You can come here whenever you have a break to have lunch or whatever. Clients aren’t allowed here.” They walked through a door on the opposite side of the wall. “Here’s the cafeteria. The cafe is only open for breakfast and lunch. If you want dinner, you’ll have to preorder it during breakfast and pick it up before they leave for the evening.” They walked back into the lounge. “Coffee and tea is always available in the lounge, though.” Aya giggled. “We normally don’t have many late-nights, but that also depends on your clients. If you have clients that can only see you in the evenings, then that’s when you’ll see them.” 

“That makes sense.” They left the lounge, walking down the hall.

“Here are all of our offices! We each have our own, thank god.” Aya stopped at the first door on the left, opening the door. The door was decorated with flowers, a weekly calendar posted on the wall under her name-plate. Times were blocked off with black blocks, revealing no additional details. “This is my office! If I’m not with a client or I’m just hanging out, then I’ll leave the door open. Please feel free to stop by if you see it open.” 

(Name) surveyed the office. There were posters of muscle diagrams, and at Aya’s desk, there were fresh roses. An empty owl coffee mug sat next to it. A familiar face flashed in her mind. She shook her head before offering her new coworker a smile. “Those are lovely flowers, Aya.” 

“Aren’t they? My boyfriend dropped them off this morning,” Aya giggled. “He also got me that cute mug!” Aya shut the door, continuing down the hall. “All of the recreational therapists have their office in this hall. The trainers and medics are located in a different wing.” They stopped in front of a door on the right near the end of the hall. “And this is your new office! Make sure to lock it every time you leave and lock your drawers when you aren’t here.” Aya pulled out a key, unlocking it and handing the key over to (Name). “Feel free to get settled and comfortable. Kayda will probably stop by in twenty minutes to introduce you to your first client. She’ll sit in with you on your first few sessions, just to make sure you get the hang of things. I’ll see you at lunch!” With a final wave, Aya left (Name) to her own devices.

The office was nice, albeit small. There was an examination table to the left side of the door with a seat besides the door. On the right wall were cabinets full of medical supplies. Under the counter were drawers for her patient folders. In the corner between the examination table and cabinets was her desk. Two monitors were already set-up with a dock that awaited the new, company-issued laptop that was sitting in her bag. (Name) took a seat, pulling the laptop out and docking it. As she waited for the laptop to connect, she pulled out some more personal items. A box of her favorite pens was tucked into her drawer, alongside with her other stationary items. She placed her purse in the bottom drawer, gently shutting it as she placed the rest of her items out. A leather-bound planner sat beside her. Leaning against the wall was a picture of her and the Nekoma volleyball team from when they won against Nohebi to qualify for the spring tournament. Her fingers traced the familiar faces, landing on her and Kuroo. Kuroo had an arm thrown around her shoulders, pulling her into his chest as he used the other one to pull a reluctant Kenma into the frame. Her heart fluttered. The sound of her laptop booting up shook her out of her reverie. Cracking her knuckles, she logged in. She was so excited for her first day of work!

****

(Name) let out a satisfied sigh as her client left. “Thank you so much, (L.Name)-sama!” He waved, stepping out of her office and heading down the hall. 

“You’re doing so well, I don’t think I have to shadow you anymore.”

(E/c) orbs widened at the praise, swiveling in her chair to look at her manager. “Oh really? Thank you so much, Kirishima-san!” 

“Please, just call me Kayda,” she laughed, waving her hand. “We don’t need to be so formal amongst each other.” Kayda looked down at her notes. “I don’t have any notes for you, except for you to continue doing as you have been. You’re definitely suited for this type of work, I knew you’d be a great addition to the team after seeing your resume and reading your recommendations.” 

“Thank you so much for the opportunity, Kayda!” (Name) chewed her bottom lip. “I appreciate your kindness in taking me in, especially since I’ll be taking a leave so soon after joining.”

“Well, I’ll still have you for a few months before that. Just make sure to continue the good work!” Kayda smiled, standing. “I can already tell that you’re hard-working. Towards the end, you can focus on paperwork and assessments instead of the actual rehabilitation and treatments. We’ll have the trainers and other therapists step in for you.”

(Name) bowed to her manager. “Of course, thank you again!” 

“C’mon, let’s go get lunch. I’m sure you’re dying to meet the rest of your coworkers.” Kayda walked towards the door, patiently waiting for (Name) to grab her wrapped lunch box as they made their way to the lounge. Stepping inside, she was quickly greeted by Aya. Aya was sitting with Makoto and another pretty black-haired woman. Where Aya was bubbly and approachable, and Kayda professional and put-together, this other woman could only be described as intimidating.

“(Name)!” Aya waved excitedly, scooting her seat over and putting a seat in between her and Makoto. “Sit here!” 

“Hello Aya, hi Makoto.” She bowed, taking the seat.

“(Name), this is Azami!” Aya introduced. Azami looked up, responding with a curt nod.

“Welcome to the team, (Name).” Immediately, Azami went back to her meal. Kayda sat in between Aya and Azami. The group of coworkers settled into an easy-flowing conversation. Aya was busy telling silly stories from outside of work that involved Makoto, and Makoto was busy trying to deny them, cheeks glowing.

“So, (Name), Kayda was telling me that you’re going to be taking leave in a few months?” Their heads snapped to Azami, who had finished her bento. Quiet tension crept through (Name) as she shifted under Azami’s piercing golden gaze.

“Yes,” (Name) swallowed, placing her chopsticks down. “I’ll be leaving for maternity leave in three months.”

Aya - who had been taking a sip of her coffee - choked. “Maternity leave?” She whirled around. “You didn’t tell me you were pregnant!”

“Uh, surprise?” (Name) laughed, a hand affectionately settling on her stomach.

“Who’s the baby-daddy?” 

(Name) just winked, pretending to zip her lips. “Secret!” Aya groaned, playfully glaring at the pregnant woman. 

“I’ll find out sooner or later,” Aya warned, crossing her arms as she pouted. 

“Leave her alone, Aya. If she wants to talk about it, she will,” Makoto chided, eyes sparkling as he gazed at his coworker. 

“This is my new work bestie, and I demand to know!” Aya whined.

“I suppose we’re just chopped liver,” Makoto whispers to Azami, who rolled her eyes.

“Guess you’ll just have to wait and see.” 

“Alright, lunch is over children.” Kayda stood up, dusting her hands off, her own green eyes sparkling. “Aya, leave (Name) alone. We don’t need to scare off our new RT with your shenanigans.” 

“That was one big word, Kayda,” Aya joked, rolling her eyes. They all stood up, making their way out of the lounge after wiping down the table. “See you later!” She cheered, stepping into her office. 

Makoto and (Name) made their way down to the hall. “Oh, I guess you’re the office next to me,” Makoto grinned. “Feel free to ping me or knock on my door if you have any questions, or if you need any help.”

“Thanks, Makoto!”  

****

(Name) wiped her brow, stepping out of one of the dance studios on the first floor. “Thank you, (L.Name)-san!” She sent the male a friendly wave, watching him leave. He had been having issues with his shoulders and knees due to old volleyball injuries, and she’d brought him into the studio in order to test his mobility. 

“Oh, (Name)!” She turned, meeting the bubbly brunette. “Are you finished for the day?”

“Yes, I think so.” She tucked her laptop into her bag. 

“Great! Let’s walk out together then.” Aya grinned.

“Ah, let me just wash off real quick.” (Name) gestured towards the restroom. Aya followed her in, leaning against the counter as (Name) washed her hands.

“So, how was your first day?”

“It was great! I know it’s a bit early, but I already feel at home,” (Name) smiled warmly, drying her hands. She pulled out her phone, absent-mindedly staring at the screen. Kuroo grinned back, a dollop of ice cream on his nose. After they’d eaten at the fancy restaurant, he’d taken her to an ice-cream shop. When he’d teased her, she decided to smack his face with ice cream, capturing this silly moment on her camera. “Thank you so much for taking the time to supervise me today.”

The coworkers stepped back into the hall, making their way to the lobby. “Well of course! I told you, you’re my work bestie.” Aya skipped along the hall. 

They stepped through the double-doors, swiping out. (Name) stopped, her eyes widening as she looked between her phone and the male. “Kuroo?”

Aya’s head whipped up from her phone at (Name)’s call. “Hey there!” Kuroo was dressed in his standard all-black suit, a red tie contrasting the rest of his outfit. In his arms were a beautiful bouquet of flowers. He offered her a smile. 

“I’ll see you later Aya!” (Name) smiled at her coworker, walking towards Kuroo. Aya let out an excited squeal as Kuroo pulled (Name) into a hug, his lips barely brushing against the crown of her head. “You didn’t have to!” She chided, taking hold of his elbow as they left the building.

“Well, I wanted to surprise you after your first day!” As he presented her the bouquet, her eyes softened. Beautiful white lilies and gardenias were surrounded by apple-blossoms and red carnations. “The florist helped me pick this out for you. I hope you like it.” Overwhelmed with emotion, (Name) stepped on her tip-toes, leaning in to capture Kuroo’s lips with hers. 

Hazel eyes widened, arms settling loosely around her waist as he gently held her. Kuroo’s lips were soft, tender. Delicate movements waited to match hers. His lips were hesitant, but grew more fierce, moving with hers as the seconds trickled by. It was…intense to say the least. Years of emotions placed into this one searing touch. Could she feel it? Could she feel the years of yearning that Kuroo had, the years of undeniable, pure love that had swept him away, knocking him down every single time the thought of even trying to move on bubbled to the surface? A surge of desperation filled him, praying, hoping that this moment could last forever. That it meant something. Her touch consumed him, her taste intoxicating. The way that her lips moved against his...Was it? Were his feelings returned after all these years? His heart pulsed with hope at the mere thought.  

Kuroo pulled away reluctantly as his lungs burned, leaning his forehead against hers. “Let’s head home, yeah?” He breathed, eyes shut as he savoured the moment. The taste of her on his lips and the warmth of her body were the only things on his mind. 

His nose brushed against hers in a soft butterfly kiss before (Name) pulled away to look up at him. Warmth spread through her body as (e/c) orbs roamed his face. She adjusted the flowers in her arms before brushing her hair away from her face. “Yeah, let’s do that.” Kuroo gently slipped his hand into hers, grinning as their fingers intertwined. “Y’know, they’re going to think you’re my baby-daddy.” She jerked her head back at the clinic, seeing Aya in the window excitedly pointing and yanking on Makoto’s arm. Both of them were facing Kuroo and (Name). At the sight of them looking, Aya waved aggressively to the duo. Kuroo chuckled, waving at them.

They arrived at his car, him opening the door and helping her in. “I wouldn’t mind that,” he teased. Thump thump. Thump thump. Could she hear the song of hope that his heart drummed? 

(Name) hummed, buckling herself in as Kuroo got into the other side of the car. “I suppose we’ll just have to see.” He fiddled with the knobs, putting on some music before his hand found its home on her thigh, absent-mindedly tracing shapes into the soft skin. 

****

Three weeks later...

The sound of soft sobs woke Kuroo up. He blinked sleepily at the blue-grey walls, mind wandering for a moment. It always seemed to land on her, even when he’d just woken up. Nothing had really changed between them. In fact, they’d still remained as close as ever except for the domesticity that their friendship had taken. Kuroo would drive her to work - made easier since he worked down the street from her - met her for lunch, took her home, and they’d either take turns making meals or cook dinner together. He’d try to prevent her from doing chores, only to be yelled at for his ‘chivalry’ as she loudly proclaimed that she wasn’t a “useless mother that can’t even do her own laundry”. 

Shaking himself out of his reverie, he glanced towards the door and clambered out of his bed, following the sobs that led him to the kitchen. Standing over the kitchen sink, eyes unfocused on a steaming mug of milk and honey, was (Name). “What’s going on?”

His sleepy baritone rumble caused her to jump. Her head shot up, hands following as she brushed away the trickles that cascaded down her cheeks. “Nothing!”

“It’s obviously not nothing if you’re crying.” Kuroo made his way to stand beside her. “Now, what’s going on?” He led her to the table, gently pushing her into the chair he pulled out. Kuroo slid into the one beside her.

“It’s stupid.” She sighed, sitting her mug. Kuroo placed one of his hands on the table, tapping while he waited patiently for her to continue. “It’s just that...one of my coworkers...” (Name) paused, more tears welling up. Kuroo leaned over, grabbing the box of tissues and handing it to her. She blinked with appreciation before taking a deep breath. “I just...Azami said some things to me at lunch the other day, and it just got me thinking. Like, what am I even doing? Why did I start this job when I’m pregnant? Why did I even decide to keep this baby when her father won’t even know about her?” The trickle became a steady stream. She blew her nose. “Will I even have time for my job when she’s born? I don’t want her to grow up alone and unsupported.” Her knuckles turned white as she grasped her mug, chest shaking with suppressed sobs. 

“(Name).” Kuroo reached out, grasping one of her hands. Empty eyes stared down at their intertwined hands. Thump thump. “You’re not alone. Nor is our child.” (Name) let out a soft gasp, watery eyes snapping up to meet hazel. “Yes, ours. I don’t care what genes he will have. He is as good as my child as much as he is yours, and I don’t intend on leaving you alone no matter what happens.” 

“K-kuroo,” she choked. Thump thump. He squeezed her hand before bringing it to his lips to brush them against her knuckles. (Name)’s eyes squeezed shut as her body trembled from the endearing touch. Thump thump.

“(Name), I promise you. I will never abandon you.” Glowing hazel eyes met hers as he surveyed her. Thump thump. Even when she cried, she was beautiful. Kuroo’s other hand reached out, cupping her face and wiping away the tears. “You’re the hardest working person that I know. If there’s anyone who could raise a child while working, it’s you.” Kuroo stood up, opening his arms slightly. She stood too, leaning her head against his chest as his arms pulled her flush against him. “Now, it’s not like you to crumple at the words of a coworker. What else happened?” His hands rubbed her back comfortingly. Thump thump. 

(Name) sniffled, swallowing. “One of my clients was hitting on me, and when he found out I was pregnant, he made some...rude comments. Said that I was committing sins for being unmarried and for leading him on.” 

Kuroo’s jaw clenched, eyes flashing dangerously. Thump thump. “Please tell me he’s no longer your client.”

(Name) shook her head, wiping her nose. “He was one of Makoto’s clients. Makoto just asked me to finish his final examination, so I won’t be seeing him again.”

Kuroo wrapped his arms around her, squeezing her tightly. “I’m glad.” He pulled back slightly, looking down at her face. “Don’t hide from me anymore, okay kitten? You know I’m always here for you.” He pressed a chaste kiss to her forehead. Thump thump. She buried her face deeper into his chest. They stood in silence a few moments longer. THUMP THUMP. THUMP THUMP. He cleared his throat, “c’mon, let’s get you to bed, okay?”

“Stay in my room tonight?” His heart softened as (Name) looked up at him with still watery eyes.

“Of course.” Another forehead kiss.

“Y’know,” he traced shapes into her arm, cheeks glowing as he avoided her eyes, “we’re practically dating already.” He took a deep breath, forcing the smirk on his face in an attempt to hide the nerves that threatened to overwhelm him. Thump thump. “I know that we’re already house-mates - albeit temporarily - but would you be interested in being promoted to girlfriend?” 

“You’re such a dork, Kuroo.” She rolled her eyes, pressing her hands on his chest.

“But you didn’t say no!” He grinned. Thump thump.

Their eyes met. Thump thump. He was surprised by the fondness and affection that softened her gaze. Thump thump. “We have been acting like a couple now, haven’t we?” She asked in a low tone, her finger mindless tracing shapes on his chest. Thump thump. 

Kuroo shrugged, his throat tightening. His heart was screaming at him now. “That’s not an answer, love.” 

Her heart skipped a beat, feigning annoyance by rolling her eyes once more. “Because my answer is yes, dumbass.” 

She pulled away, stepping on her tip-toes to press a kiss to his lips that was abruptly broken by a sudden movement. They both looked down, shocked. “Was that—” he whispered, a hand outreached slightly.

“She’s kicking.” New tears welled up in her eyes as (Name) straightened. Kuroo maneuvered himself onto his knees, placing his cheek onto her stomach. “Guess she’s happy,” she teased, as he felt another gentle nudge from their baby. Thump thump. He tightened his grip on (Name), pressing a gentle kiss onto her stomach as an unparalleled warmth spreading throughout his body. Thump thump. Everything finally felt right. 

****

Meanwhile...

The bass of the speakers caused the entire room to shake. The dim lights hid details as bodies intertwined under the flashing lights. Gold eyes scanned the room half-heartedly. From his perch at the booth, he could see Atsumu with his arms around two girls at the bar. Everyone else - except for Sakusa who wasn’t there - were on the dance-floor. Bokuto couldn’t see the rest of his team-mates. He sighed loudly, though it was barely audible over the music. He glanced down at his drink, swirling the whiskey in the glass. 

“Hey, you’re looking a little bored tonight. Why don’t you come with me and we’ll have some fun?” Bokuto sent her a dejected smile, waving the girl off. “Suit yourself.” She stalked off, rejoining her friends who all sent him looks. It had been like that for the past hour or so since they had arrived. Girls had been coming up to him. One had even sat in his lap, giving him a lap-dance, only to get pissed off at him when he showed no inclination of interest. That girl had stormed off. She and her friends ended up glaring at the wing-spiker before being whisked away by the crowd. Bokuto sipped the whiskey, letting the liquid burn his throat. How many had it been now? Four? Five? He had just asked the waitress to keep bringing him drinks whenever his glass was running low. Bokuto glanced down at his phone. A photo of him and (Name) at Spring Nationals stared back at him. She was wearing his jersey, black and gold paint on her cheeks. He was carrying her on his back, legs and arms wrapped around him as he flexed his arms. Bokuto held the screen, watching as the ‘Live’ function activated. He watched over and over again as (Name) kissed his cheek before grinning at the camera. Tonight would’ve been their four year anniversary.

“Are you okay?” He looked up and the air left his lungs. Standing in front of him was a familiar sight. He blinked, shaking his head to clear it from the buzz that had crept in. Gold eyes squinted into (e/c) eyes. A wave of disappointment crashed over him. The sparkle was just...wrong. “Hello?”

Bokuto swallowed. “I’ll be fine.” 

She raised her eyebrow before nodding at the empty booth. Mind if I sit with you?” 

He eyed her carefully before looking back at his team-mates. It was obvious that they weren’t going to rejoin him anytime soon, and he was tired of dancing around his thoughts of (Name). Another searing sip. She held his gaze steadily as she waited for his verdict. Every time he blinked, he felt like he was staring at (Name) only for a cold bucket of water to be dumped over his head each time he realised that he wasn’t. “Sure.” He conceded finally. 

“Thanks.” She slipped into the booth beside him toying with her own glass. “What’s on your mind?” 

“Huh?”

“Well, you’ve been sitting here for a while, and all you’ve done is drink. You keep telling the girls off whenever they come over and bother you, so there’s obviously something bothering you.” She took a sip, placing the empty glass down. “So what’s up?”

Bokuto snorted, “I’m not drunk enough for this.” 

She snorted in agreement. Raising a hand, she waved the waitress over. “Can he get another coke and whiskey? And I’d like a new gin & tonic as well too.” The waitress whisked the glasses away. 

Bokuto eyed the girl. “How long have you been watching me?”

“Not long.” She shrugged. “My friend stopped by earlier, and boy was she pissed when you turned her down.”

“Where’s she at now?” The unnamed girl pointed towards the bar. Bokuto chuckled. Of course she was clinging onto Atsumu’s arms now. Maybe she had a type. “So what are you doing with me? Isn’t there girl-code or something?” Bokuto leaned back in his seat, scanning his conversation partner.

Another shrug as she tossed her hair over her shoulder. “To be honest, clubbing isn’t my scene. I’m going through a breakup right now, and my friends brought me out to get over it but,” she waved her hand, “they ditched me because I wasn’t being any ‘fun’.” At this, the waitress returned, placing the drinks down in front of the duo. 

Bokuto looked down at his drink. “That’s what’s on my mind,” he admitted. She raised an eyebrow, stirring her drink. “I was with this girl for years, and I thought that I was gonna marry her and everything. But I ended up running away to chase my dreams and left her behind.” 

“If you loved her so much, why did you leave her behind?” 

Bokuto shrugged. “I was scared, I guess.” They sat in silence for a moment. 

“Well, cheers to our mutual heart-break then.” They tapped their glasses together. Bokuto chugged his drink, finishing it. The almost-familiar eyes bore into his as she turned to fully face him. “If you want...maybe we could forget together.” He licked his suddenly dry lips. She had gotten really close to him, he noticed. Gold eyes drifted down to her lips as he felt the heat from her, her thigh spreading to press against his. One night of distractions couldn’t hurt, he decided as he leaned in. 

****

The next day...

The sounds of heels meeting hardwood met their ears as the couple made their way into the all-too familiar izakaya. “There they are!” Lev cheered, gesturing to them with his mug. Kuroo helped her take off her coat, draping it over his arm as they walked over. Lev’s eyes bulged as he scanned them. “(Name)! Are you pregnant?” 

Tsukishima cuffed the barely taller male over the head, causing Lev to wince. “Idiot, you can’t just shout that across the bar.” Heads had turned at Lev’s cry. (Name) simply giggled, sliding into the empty seat beside Akaashi. 

“Yes, Lev, I’m pregnant.” 

“Congratulations!” Lev cheered.

“Congratulations, (Name).” Tsukishima nodded at her. 

Kuroo placed her folded up coat onto the bench, shrugging his off and placing it on top of hers. He took the other empty seat by Lev. Tsukishima, Akaashi, and (Name) sat on one side. Tsukishima faced Lev while Akaashi faced Kuroo. This time, they hadn’t left an empty seat for the missing wing-spiker. “Have you guys ordered yet?” 

“Only alcohol,” Akaashi grimaced, eyeing Lev’s red face. 

“No wonder he seems louder than usual,” (Name) joked, rolling her eyes at the tall male. 

“You’re so rude to me, (Name)-san!” Lev whined, pouting. He took another big gulp of his beer, smacking his lips. “So who’s the baby-daddy? Is it Bokuto?”

Kuroo and (Name) exchanged a quick look, unnoticed by most at the table before she let out a soft laugh. “Didn’t you hear Lev? Kuroo and I are together now.” Akaashi and Tsukishima raised their eyebrows, surprised looks crossing their faces. Lev simply cheered for them. 

“Oh my god! Since when?” His jaw dropped. “Wait!! Does that mean...you and Kuroo are gonna have a kid?” 

“Yes, that’s what that means, Lev,” (Name) replied patiently, sipping her water.

“I’m so happy for you! Kuroo used to go on and on and on about you, everyone in the locker-room used to make so much fun of him.” Lev burped, ignoring the surprised look that crossed her face. Kuroo’s ears began to glow red. 

“Oi, shut it,” Kuroo warned, “or I’ll call Yaku.” 

Lev started whining to his senpai, causing the other three to roll their eyes. Apparently Lev’s fear of Yaku was still persistent in his life. Tsukishima joined Kuroo in roasting Lev while (Name) turned to the quiet setter besides her. “Akaashi, we missed you last time! How have you been?” 

“Not too bad, just busy.” Akaashi sipped his beer. “Congratulations on graduating, (Name)-san. I’m sorry that I missed your party.” 

“It’s no biggie, I’m just glad you made it out this time!” Her bright smile filled his vision as he hummed in response. “How’s your program going?” They settled into an easy conversation, though Akaashi was still hesitant. He hadn’t expected this turn of events, and he definitely hadn’t missed that look they had exchanged. They ordered their food, and the males ended up going through another two pitchers of beer as the night went on. 

“Excuse me guys! I’ll be right back babe.” (Name) stood, kissing Kuroo’s cheek before she waddled towards the restroom. 

Akaashi turned to Kuroo. “Kuroo-san, may I speak to you?” Luckily, the rest of the guys were busy talking to each other. Hazel eyes bore into blue as Kuroo nodded slowly, swirling his glass. “Is that your child?” 

“He is now.” 

If the setter was surprised, he didn’t show it. “Does Bokuto-san know?” 

“She found out the day he announced his deal.” Kuroo sipped his beer, eyes drifting back to the rest of their company. Lev and Tsukishima were in a heated argument about which was the best dinosaur. Lev was simply arguing in order to get a rise out of Tsukishima. Akaashi nodded slowly, his eyes fixed on Kuroo. 

“He would’ve sacrificed anything for her.” 

Kuroo sighed. “And she did just that for him.” Glowing hazel met steady gunmetal blue. “He would’ve sacrificed his entire career for her, and he would’ve been unsatisfied with life. This could’ve been his only chance to go pro, and she was not about to let him squander his dreams for her.” Kuroo’s face softened. “Even at the price of her own, she chose his happiness.”

“(Name)-san was always too kind for her own good,” Akaashi mused, sipping his own drink. 

“(Name)-san, are you alright? You don’t look well.” Akaashi’s brow furrowed as he looked at the girl. Sweat beaded along her forehead as she panted heavily. The black and gold paint on her cheeks barely hid the redness.

Sluggishly, she waved a hand. “I’ll be okay, ‘Kaashi! This is more important.” (Name) leaned against the setter, and he winced at the heat. 

“Are you sure? It looks like you have a fever.” 

(Name) nodded, wiping her forehead with the back of her hand. “G-gotta be.” Even her voice was hoarse. 

“Nickname!” At the sound of Bokuto’s voice, (Name) completely straightened, a smile forcibly spreading across her face.

“Kou!” She squealed. Bokuto swept her into his arms, swinging her around.

“You came!”

“Of course I did. I had to see my best friend playing in the finals!” Akaashi’s eyes widened slightly, impressed. It was barely noticeable that just moments ago she was feeling ill. Even the lilt in her voice had been banished. 

“You’re the best,” Bokuto cheered, nuzzling into her neck. 

Akaashi stepped away, heading towards the managers with a soft shake of his head. “Is (Name) ok? She looked really sick a few moments ago.” He could only shrug at Kaori’s question. “Poor girl,” she clicked her tongue. 

“(Name)’s here?” Yukie asked, glancing over as her brow furrowed. “That’s a surprise.”

Kaori and Akaashi looked over at Yukie. “Why’s that?” Kaori tilted her head.

“Kuroo said she caught a fever the other night. Something about a breakdown, her going out to comfort somebody at 3 AM and forgetting a jacket.” 

Kaori clicked her tongue again. “She’s really too nice.” They watched as Bokuto swung her around over and over again. (Name) looked vastly uncomfortable up until Bokuto put her down to hand her his spare jersey. As soon as he had put her down, a wide smile overtook her features. All signs of discomfort vanished. Akaashi shook his head. She really needed to stop sacrificing herself for everyone.

Akaashi sighed, swirling his cup and watching the bubbles. “Under different circumstances, I would want to tell him. He has the right to know.”

“If you tell him now, you risk jeopardizing that future that she gave to him. And if he were to suddenly appear in her life again, who knows what type of stress that’d put on her and the baby?” Akaashi simply hummed in response, fingers tapping against his glass. Kuroo licked his lips before sighing. “For her sake, can you please not tell him? After he’s born, I’ll talk to her about getting Bokuto involved.” 

Akaashi sighed. “For their own good.” Kuroo’s face relaxed into a pleasant smile.

“Thank you, Akaashi.” Kuroo stood up. “I’ll be right back,” he promised, before he too made his way to the restroom. A sleek black phone lit up on the table. Glancing at it, Akaashi let out a soft chuckle. The familiar faces of (Name) and Kuroo stared back at him, and she looked beyond happy. The former setter couldn’t remember ever seeing her face as bright as it did in that photo. He had always known that Kuroo had been in love with the former Nekoma manager. Anyone just watching their interactions could see that. Throughout the conversation, Akaashi had kept that in mind, wondering if Kuroo was being selfish about his intentions. He bit his bottom lip as he contemplated the news. Though Bokuto was one of his closest friends, Akaashi had quickly become close to the spunky girl that had captured his friend’s heart. They all deserved to be happy, and it seems that Kuroo and (Name) were happiest together. He nodded to himself, turning his attention back to the quarreling pair. It was for the best that they remained together. He only prayed that Bokuto would be able to find his own happiness.

Fun facts

💟 There were still some of Bokuto’s owl mugs at (Name)’s house

💟 In high-school, photos of the Nekoma volleyball team were (Name)’s lockscreen until their third-year when Kuroo got annoyed and changed her background to a photo of just them as Captain and Manager. He claims that he had priority as her best friend.

💟 Aya really wanted a female best friend, but was terrified of Azami and had too much respect for Kayda so she was extra excited when she found out (Name) was joining the team

💟 Aya’s name means ‘colorful, beautiful’, Azami means ‘thistle flower, greatest’, Makoto means ‘sincerity, truth’, and Kayda means ‘Little Dragon’ or ‘Princess of God’

💟 Every time they went to get dessert, a bit of it would end up on Kuroo’s face because he would either try to steal (Name)’s dessert or make fun of her 

💟 Kuroo had taken a floral arrangement class as a GE and learned about the meaning of flowers through it. He forgot that (Name) had also taken that class a different semester so she also knew the meaning of the flowers he’d gotten

💮 White lilies: “My love is pure” 

💮 Apple blossoms: “I prefer you before all”

💮 Red carnations: “My heart aches for you”

💮 Gardenias: secret love

💟 There were mutual feelings of alterous attraction between (Name) and Kuroo - meaning that they’d both be okay whether they were platonic friends or romantic partners. (Name) just didn’t know the second part.

💟 Kuroo thought he was doing her a favor by doing the chores, but once he got his butt kicked, he remembered how much (Name) hates depending on people

💟 Even though they’ve been friends for so long, it was still rare for Kuroo to see her crying. She typically tried to cry alone in her room

💟 This was the first time that Hikori kicked

💟 Bokuto took up drinking about a week after (Name)’s graduation

💟 Bokuto wasn’t really sure why he kept changing his background photo

💟 Most people had figured out that (Name) and Bokuto had separated. They just didn’t know why. Lev was one of the only exceptions to this 

💟 Both Kuroo and (Name) were posting on social media, but a majority of people chalked it up to their long-term friendship

💟 Bokuto still doesn’t know that (Name) had a fever during that game 

💟 (Name) had gone out late at night to comfort Shibayama who was feeling very insecure and unprepared to take on the role as libero after Yaku

AN: This was my favorite chapter of Lockscreens to write! did you enjoy that little ‘Free!’ cameo 😜

Please feel free to pop into my inbox if you have any questions, comments, or concerns 💞 I love interacting with you all!

Taglist: @toaster-stick @thatartsybitch @brazil-hinata @sawamooora  @anejuuuuoy @abby-rutledge20 @babybluebisexual @badboysdoitbetter2 @liathachcapricious @cosmiclunas @wishingforanother@toobsessedsstuff  @setterfish @yeehawslap @shadowkunoichi @haikyuusimp91  @firebonbon @mentalydisturbed@samkysnks @dolan-mendes​  @loudpoetry23  @ estmagnifique @milkteeboba​ @newfriendjen​ @sempiternal-amour @scrappydaisies​ @ mayor-chu-of-many-towns @bokutosdivineass

I’m having issues with my notifications, so please DM me if I forgot you!

Please contact me via ask or my inbox to join the ‘Lockscreens’ taglist! 💞  Check out this link for information about my taglists.

[mirakumiruku]

Night Life

bout time i posted something. hopefully it’s worth the wait! maybe i’ll make sequels with other babes if the interest is good...

Dabi/Touya x Reader Contains: Quirkless AU, Stripper!Dabi, drinking, multiple orgasms, unsafe sex WC: 4.7k Taglist: @nereida19​

The red light district was intimidating to say the least. The first time you dared to venture into the streets brimming with debauchery, you were overwhelmed by the flashing neon lights, the bass-blasted music, the stench of alcohol lingering on people’s breath and cheap perfume wafting from the clubs. 

You only made your journey to this den of earthly desires for one reason, a dancer you had heard your coworkers whispering about when they thought no one was listening. An intimidating man covered in piercings and haphazardly stitched leather, he always had the entire crowd hanging off his every move.

Needless to say, you were intrigued. 

You picked up on the name of the club, Smokescreen. It didn’t take too much digging to find the address and hours of operation, it was deep in the city and while it was open for drinks starting at 9pm, the shows didn’t start until midnight.

You didn’t know when the dancer was going to go on, so you figured you may as well turn up for the first show and wait until you saw the man your coworkers had chatted about.

The lineup was interesting to say the least, but you could tell that each dancer had their fans, based on the walk they would do around the edge of the stage by the end of each of their sets, picking up the various bills for 100, 500, 1,000 yen. An energetic man with a mop of electric purple hair; a duo of a shy, muscular blond and a bubbly young woman with her hair in twin buns; a man that had come out in a mask that had tossed his top hat into the crowd at the start of his routine. Each would step onto the stage, put on an impressive show for their fans, then head backstage to get redressed before making their way out to the bar where there was a handful of people offering to buy them drinks.

It was getting late and you were starting to feel your drinks before a bass-heavy song with low electric guitar blared out of the speakers, and the lights dimmed. Figuring this seemed interesting, you picked up your drink and made your way to the proper stage area, where a crowd was gathering once more, far larger than those for the other performers.

The man that stepped out was tall, even without the high-heeled leather boots whose tops disappeared under the hem of his long leather trench coat.

The DJ announced the dancer’s name– Dabi –as he approached the pole at the center of the stage. His walk was leisurely, almost lazy, and a blue spotlight followed him down his path.

A hush fell over the crowd when he stopped, his hands coming to rest at the collar of his coat, only to cause an uproar when he ripped the coat off and tossed it behind him. Now you could see his deep crimson tank top, his skin-tight leather pants, his boots that only ended halfway up his thigh. He stood for a moment, basking in the squeals and bills that were already being tossed his way, before he finally got to work.

You almost couldn’t hear the cheering crowd around you, nor the blaring music as you watched the way he interacted with the cold metal, the way his hands gripped the chrome until his knuckles turned white, or how he held onto it with his muscular thighs as he flipped upside down. You swore that when he stuck his tongue out between his spread fingers, showing off his tongue piercing that glinted in the spotlight, his dazzling turquoise eyes met yours.

Though, you were sure that everyone else in the crowd was sure of the same thing. 

Halfway through the routine he ripped off his top, tossing it into the crowd where it somehow landed in your hands. Some of the people around you clamored for it, but you held tightly to the dark red fabric without taking your eyes off Dabi. He was practically sparkling, from a combination of the various piercings that littered his body and the sheen of sweat that was visible on his skin. 

The show was over far sooner than you would like, and Dabi ended his routine balancing himself in an upside down split, his chest notably heaving as the sweat dripped down his forehead. You pushed your way to the front to wave a 2,000 yen bill as Dabi made his way around the edge of the stage. He gladly took it, giving you a wink as he stuffed the bill in the waist of his pants. You thought you saw his eyes glint as they darted over the torn fabric in your hand, but it must have just been a trick of the light. 

You found yourself back at the bar in a haze while Dabi collected his coat, making room for another blond decked in yellow and red. You ordered yourself another drink, gladly accepting it when the bartender slid it across the counter. You really didn’t realize how warm it had gotten in there. 

Just as you pulled out some cash to pay for the drink, you felt a nudge against your shoulder and a deep voice came from behind you. “It’s on me, Kurogiri.” Your jaw fell open as a familiar leather jacket slid in next to you, elbows coming to rest on the counter. “Gotta give our new customers a warm welcome, yeah?” The man behind the counter, Kurogiri, gave a silent nod before going off to fill some other orders.

“I-I’d think that I should be buying you a drink…” You said with a nervous chuckle, swirling the liquid in your glass before taking a sip.

“Nah, you’re way prettier than I am. Besides,” Dabi gave a nod to Kurogiri as the barkeep slid a glass towards him, “I get plenty of free drinks, sweetheart. I don’t need another.”

You gave a nod, taking another swig of your own drink, your eyes not leaving Dabi as he downed half the glass in one go.

“So what brings ya here? I think I’d recognize such a cute face if you’d been here before.” Dabi shot a playful wink in your direction, and you were thankful that the dim lights hid your blush. 

“Some… friends were talking about this place.” You took another sip, “About you, specifically.”

“Oh yeah? What’d they say?”

“Um…” You ran your finger around the rim of your glass, “Th-that you were hot, and the best dancer they’d seen.”

“And? Do you agree with them?”

Your face heated up a little more, and you gave a slight nod. “Mhm.”

“Good.” Dabi finished off his drink, “I’m headin’ to the back rooms for a smoke, care to join me?”

Part of you couldn’t believe that he actually asked you that, you tried to reason with yourself that no, he was just trying to be polite. 

But while you were thinking, your body moved of its own volition to follow Dabi to a door labeled “employees only”, drawing envious looks from the others at the bar.

You blinked a few times to adjust to the bright fluorescent lighting of the back hall, a big contrast from the low lights in the bar. The hall had only a few doorways, one open and leading to the group dressing room, another leading to the stage, a third to the kitchen, and a fourth was a staircase up to the second floor.

Dabi led you up the stairs and down another hall, finally stopping to open a door and waving you into a small bedroom.

“I didn’t know clubs provided housing like this…” You mumbled, standing awkwardly beside the door as Dabi stepped inside, picking up a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from the bedside table.

“They don’t usually. I’m just renting this one from the owner.” He opened a window before lighting the cigarette, taking a drag and letting the smoke slowly out of his nose. “I don’t think we got introduced properly. What’s your name?”

“(Y/N).” 

“Pleasure to meet you, (Y/N). I’m Touya.”

“I thought you were Dabi?”

“What kind of idiot would use his real name for stripping?” Touya snorted, taking another puff off his cigarette.

“Yeah, guess you have a point…” You chuckled and finished off your drink, then set the glass on the bedside table. 

Touya took a seat on his bed, and you sat across from him in a dining chair. The two of you let the silence hang in the air for a moment, before he broke the silence once more.

“So what were you lookin’ for down here, anyway? No one’s really ‘just curious’.”

“What do you mean?” You tried to avoid his piercing blue eyes and teasing smirk.

“I mean that everybody’s got some kinda motive. So what’s yours? For most people they just wanna put a wrench in their one-note life by throwing some paper at a half-naked dancer, but… I’m gonna assume that you aren’t so simple.”

“What do you mean…?” You gave Touya a curious look, your eyebrows knitting together and your lips drawing into a pout.

“I mean that if you were just trying to mix it up for a night, you probably would’ve said no to coming into my bedroom.” Smoke poured out from between Touya’s teeth as he gave you a grin, “But… I’m nothing if not a gentleman. So if you really don’t want anything else, I’m happy to take you back downstairs.”

Your face flushed bright red, but you shook your head from side to side. 

Touya nodded, tapping his cigarette on an ashtray, “Good, been a while since I had a good lay, especially with a cute thing like you.” He shot you a mischievous wink before nodding to a minifridge near you.

“I’ve got some beers in there, you can make yourself at home while I finish this cig off, yeah?”

You didn’t have to be told twice, so you leaned over and opened the fridge, pulling out the bottle nearest to the front, along with the opener that sat atop the fridge itself. Dabi grabbed one for himself, holding it in his free hand while the ashes crept down the white paper. You were grateful that he had opened the window, knowing that you probably would be coughing up a storm if he hadn’t. You normally didn’t think of cigarettes as being ‘sexy’, believing them to be more odorous and irritating at best, but something about the way Touya pursed his lips around it as he took a breath in, and his soft sigh as he released the smoke through his nose or slightly parted mouth had you reeling over the sight.

“You never answered my question.” He finally drawled as he put out the last remaining smolders of his cigarette on the beat up ashtray. 

“What was that again?” You hummed, taking a swig from the bottle in your hand.

“What’d you really come here for?”

“I was bored,” You mumbled, watching the brown liquid slosh in the bottle as you swirled it. “And lonely. Figured I could just pretend for the night.”

“Pretend what?”

‘That someone as hot as you might even look my way normally. If I wasn’t in part paying your bills.” You laughed, and the corner of Touya’s lip quirked up in response.

“I mean, you don’t have to pretend, sweetheart. There have been plenty that have thrown money my way and they’ve never managed to get under my skin, let alone between my sheets.”

Your cheeks flushed, and you quickly averted your eyes from the intense teal gaze. “So… what, then? Is it out of pity or something?”

“No, idiot.” He took a swig of his drink, “It’s because you’re fuckin’ sexy.” He smirked at you, his lids lowering, “Even if you are a little dense.” He barked out a laugh, setting his bottle aside as he fought to capture your suddenly bashful gaze. “What? You think I’m lying? If I wasn’t, why do you think I brought you up here?” He stood up and took a stride closer to you, then took a handful of your hair to force your line of sight onto him. “I could get any bitch I wanted, and I don’t particularly like wasting my time.” He leaned down, pressing a hungry kiss to your lips, and leaving a string of saliva between the two of you when he pulled away. “So why would I have bothered if you weren’t the hottest piece of ass in that bar?”

Your breath caught in your chest as you stared up at Touya, eyes blown wide and the taste of tobacco lingering on your lips. As much as you wanted to keep questioning why he’d go for someone as plain as you… it would be stupid to pass up an opportunity like this.

Questioning could wait for later.

Before you could even cement the idea in your head, you were already pulling Touya down by the collar into another fervent kiss, managing to take him by surprise.

He took it in stride, though. He straddled your hips, his leather-bound bulge pressing expertly against your own clothed sex, drawing a moan out of you. He started to move his hips in a fluid motion, and he moved to press your head into his chest. If this weren’t your first lap dance, it surely would’ve been the best. 

With your face buried in between his pecs, his scent was strong, even under the cigarette smell. You could still catch whiffs of cologne and the sweat he had built up on the stage, and you let your tongue emerge from between your lips to lave against the fabric.

“Naughty little thing, huh?” Touya hummed, giving your hair a gentle tug. “Haven’t even started yet and you’re already acting like a grade A slut~”

He pulled away far sooner than you would’ve liked, standing up to his full height and dragging you along by the collar of your shirt. He backed up towards the bed, taking a seat on it and pulling you into his lap. 

You were immediately on him once more, burying your face in his neck, leaving behind kisses and licks, desperately taking in his intoxicating scent.

“No marks, sweetheart. Can’t break the illusion, yeah?” Touya delivered a sharp smack to your ass, “I might have to punish you if you do.”

Part of you wanted to know what this punishment would be, wanted to leave his neck covered in bright purple bite marks that would be near impossible to cover with concealer. But… you could be patient for now, you could give into your desires and reap your punishment next time.

Well, assuming there is a next time. You’d have to see how tonight goes.

The two of you began shedding your clothes, they were only a wrapping for the real prize after all. You watched hungrily as Touya revealed his piercings and soft pale skin; shiny metal rings were pierced through each of his nipples, which earned you a gasp when you gave the pink flesh a gentle tug.

Touya retaliated with a tug on your own nipples once all the barriers were removed, and your legs quivered at his rumbling laugh.

You removed your pants and underwear first, gasping softly as the cold air hit your dripping sex, which Touya quickly warmed up by circling two of his fingers over your clit. 

Once he deemed you ready, he started to unbutton and unzip his pants. The leather didn’t leave much to the imagination, but you were still surprised and a little intimidated by his size, but the real star of the show was the row of shining silver piercings that ran up the underside of his cock in a Jacob’s ladder. Part of you wondered how that could possibly be comfortable against the pole, but you were mostly thinking about what they would feel like rubbing against your velvety walls. 

“What do you think, babydoll?” Touya hummed, his hand tangling in your hair as you sank to your knees in front of him, admiring the metal that sat snugly against his skin.

Instead of responding, you leaned forward and licked up the column of piercings, eliciting a low moan from the man above you.

“Ah, fuck…~” He groaned softly, tugging gently on your hair. You purred in response, sucking at the head of his cock and licking away the precum with the tip of your tongue. “You really are fuckin’ cute,” Touya mumbled, his voice low and gravely with arousal. “But you already know that, huh?”

You smirked up at him, wordlessly answering his question, before diving back in to shower his length in kisses and kitten licks. Touya took your ministrations with a surprisingly calm air, the only giveaways being the hitching in his breath, and the single bead of sweat that ran down the side of his face.

You started slowly kissing, licking, and nibbling up his body. Over the thin white happy trail and abs that looked carved marble, taking care to tease at his pierced nipples as you continue your journey up over his chest, to his neck, then finally pressing a heated kiss to his lips. 

He growled softly into the kiss, grabbing you by your thighs and pulling you into his lap. You ground your slit against him, gasping when the piercings caught on your clit, sending shocks of white-hot pleasure through your body. You lined yourself up, your dripping cunt grazing over the flushed pink head, only to find yourself being flipped over onto the sheets.

“Patience, sweetheart.” Touya hummed, positioning himself between your thighs and pinning you to the mattress with his hands on your hips. “I dunno who you’ve been with, and I don’t really care, cus I’m gonna make sure I’m the best lay you’ve ever had.” He smirked, one hand ghosting over your skin to trace his fingers over your opening. “First you’re gonna cum on my fingers, then on my tongue, and only then will you get to cum on my cock.” He licked his lips, grinning when he heard the sound of your walls clenching around nothing. “That’s assuming you’re still conscious, that is. Wanna make sure you’re awake for all of it.”

With that he sunk two fingers into your waiting pussy, humming in content as your doughy insides clung to the digits, and smirking at the sweet mewl that made its way out of your lips.

Your eyes fluttered closed at the sudden intrusion, your hips canting up from the bed only to be held down by Touya’s other hand. His skin was sweltering against your own, and you could already feel the sweat beading on your forehead.

“So fuckin’ cute…” Touya purred, curling his fingers to pet against the spongy spot just inside of you. He drank up your needy moans in a feverish kiss, taking your panting mouth as an opportunity to run his tongue along yours. Normally you would’ve cringed at the pungent taste of cigarettes still on his mouth, but something in your arousal-addled mind loved it, savoring his signature taste. 

Touya was clearly experienced with his hands, the way he ground his thumb over your clit and thrusted his middle and ring finger inside you, making sure he attacked the spot that made you see stars. 

You panted when he pulled away, the tip of your tongue hanging out of our mouth as if trying to chase his own. 

“You’re really needy, aren’t you, babydoll?” Touya cooed, his free hand coming up to cup your chin and thumb at your lower lip. “What’s the matter, haven’t had someone take care of you like this before?”

You shook your head, any memories of past lays fleeting from your mind as all that could occupy your thoughts was the man above you.

“Good. I’d hate to be anything but the best,” He punctuated his words with a quick kiss to your lips, “Especially for such a sweet thing like you.” 

You whined and tried to chase his lips with your own, the knot of pleasure in your stomach growing tighter and tighter with each harsh thrust of Touya’s fingers, forcing desperate moans from your mouth.

All it took was Touya’s predatory smile and a pinch to your swollen clit to get you to squeal, the edges of your vision turning white and your back arching off the bed with your orgasm. 

“Mmh, you really are cute when you cum, huh babydoll?” Touya purred, pulling his fingers out and pressing them into your open, panting mouth. You eagerly sucked at them, eliciting a groan from Touya as your drool dripped onto his palm. 

You whined at the loss when he pulled his fingers from your mouth, wiping your saliva off on the sheet. “Don’t get all loopy on me now, sweetheart. I’m nowhere near done with you.” 

You squeaked in surprise as your hips left the mattress, and again as Touya’s breath ghosted over your sensitive heat.

“Ready for round two, babydoll?~”

Even if you wanted to say no, the way Touya dragged his tongue over your slit made you think that he wouldn’t take that for an answer anyway.

He was slower now that he was devouring your sex, his sinful tongue lapping over your ower lips and dripping entrance, drawing squeals out of you every time his silver piercing flicked over your clit. 

Your hands immediately found purchase in Touya’s hair, drawing a purr out of him as your fingers carded through his locks that had been so clearly damaged from all the dye and gel over the years. You couldn’t bring yourself to care about its scratchy texture though, not when it was only serving as a handle to bring that wicked mouth further into your core. 

Touya purred into your sex, tongue probing against throbbing walls with practiced ease and fingers rubbing over your clit in tight, adept circles. You clamped your thighs down around Touya’s ears at a particularly pleasurable lap, and as much as he hated having your sweet sounds muffled, he was more than pleased with your warm skin pressing tightly to his own, pulling him even closer in. A sign of exactly how much pleasure he was bringing you. 

You couldn’t take your eyes off Touya, not when his beautiful turquoise orbs were staring so intently at your flushed-red face, at your pouting lips and the tongue darting from between them. 

Your jaw hung open as you panted and blubbered out moans and nonsensical fragments of sentences, pleads for ‘more’ and praise for Touya’s masterful ministrations. 

You were so focused on the Adonis between your legs, you hardly even noticed your end nearing until it was too late, until you were already feeling the white-hot pleasure coursing through your veins and you were tossing your head back from the force of it all.

Of course, Touya lapped up all of your slick, purring at the taste and making sure he didn’t stop until you came down fully.

Once your thighs dropped from around his ears, Touya managed to pry himself away and crawl up onto the bed, caging you in with his hands planted on either side of your head. 

“Still with me, baby?”

You slowly nodded, only to feel a calloused hand at your chin, pulling you to face him directly.

“I’m gonna need a ‘yes’ if you want me to keep going.”

“Y-yes, Touya…” You breathed, leaning into his surprisingly tender touch.

“Good,” He purred, swiping his thumb over your lower lip. “Wanna make sure you’re here to get the full experience, y’know?” He smirked when he saw your miniscule nod, “Besides, it’s not fun for me unless you’re all there, screaming my name, begging for more…” His voice lowered to a growl right into your ear, right before he was delivering a playful nip to your earlobe. 

You could feel Touya’s hard cock against your quivering sex, the piercings dragging along your clit and sending near-electric shocks through your lower body. 

“Ready, babydoll?” Touya whispered in your ear, lining up the head of his cock with the entrance to your heat.

As soon as the breathy “yes,” escaped your lips, Touya thrust his hips forward. He only buried a few inches inside you, but it ripped a pleased gasp from you anyway. 

He was gentle as he slowly speared you open, drawing sweet moans from your sweet, pouty lips with each centimeter of his length. The piercings that ran down his cock produced a delicious drag against your walls, heightening the experience even further. 

Once he was fully seated inside you, Touya lowered his forehead to press against yours, his heavy breathing apparent as he gazed into your eyes, waiting for your signal. At your subtle nod, and your murmur of ‘please’, he pulled out at a torturously slow pace. Just before you could whine for more, his hips snapped back into you. 

He set a relatively gentle pace to start with, the slap of skin on skin and both of your heavy breaths being the only noise audible above the music from the club below. 

It was only when you whined out pleas for more, Touya, more that he finally picked up the pace, much to your relief. His hands held your sides in a bruising grip, and he leaned down to capture your lips in a fervent kiss.

You could taste yourself on his tongue, along with the lingering flavor of alcohol and cigarettes. A normally unappealing combination, but since it was Touya, you devoured it that much more. 

His cock felt burning hot inside you as your plush insides clung to him, the piercings dragging along your sensitive areas, distracting you from Touya’s wandering hand landing on your clit. He rubbed small circles into the bundle of nerves, earning a gasp and a moan from you. 

No matter how many times you had been with others or played with yourself, you had never felt this full. Each time Touya’s hips retreated, you couldn’t help the disappointed whine as you were emptied, even if only for a second. 

“T-Touya, I…~” Your voice came out high and breathy, jostled by the steady gyration of Touya’s hips.

“Getting close, sweetheart?~” He cooed, pressing a coy kiss to your nose. “I can tell, the way you’re milking my cock like that…” His voice delves into a growl, his eyes shutting as he presses his forehead to yours. “You really know how to get me riled up, huh, babe?”

Your mouth hung open, puffing out breathy moans each time Touya pistoned his hips into you. His hands were all over your body, circling your clit, pinching your nipples, holding your hips tight enough to leave bruises. He paid attention to your neck, pierced lips ghosting over the sensitive skin, leaving tiny kisses, nips, and licks. He was careful, not leaving any bruises above the collar. He obviously knew what he was doing.

All his ministrations sent the knot in your stomach winding even tighter, and you could feel yourself nearing your edge, when before you knew it you were already falling over it.

White-hot pleasure filled your veins, sending your head back as you let out a cry of orgasmic bliss, your tongue hanging from your grin. You held Touya close, arms wrapping over his shoulders and legs over his hips, keeping his thrusts shallow as he neared his own edge. He let out his own feral growl as he reached his own limit, and you felt his spunk filling you, leaving a pleasant warm sensation in your stomach.

“Shit…” Touya mumbled, though he made no move to get up. “You’re on the pill, right?”

You nod, and he breathes a sigh of relief. 

“Thank god…” He groaned, slowly pulling his softening cock from your heat and laying down beside you.

“What?” You shoot him a tired, but playful smile. “Am I not cute enough to have a kid with?”

“Nah,” He hummed, pulling you so your back rested against his chest, “Just don’t think I’m able to pay child support, y’know?” He laughed, prompting a giggle of your own.

“Makes sense…” You rested your head back, leaning into Touya’s hand as he played with your locks. 

“Maybe if you keep visiting, something can be arranged~” Touya purred, leaving a nip on the shell of your ear.

“Maybe so…”

Normally, the night life wasn’t for you. But if it meant seeing Touya…

Maybe you could make an exception.

[yuezhong]

593 followers special! + appreciation & shoutouts <3

Hi guys! I’m back. Now, I know it’s been a while since I last posted anything as uni has been kicking my butt, and I was busy with my final sem exams. But now that I’m back, I would like to do something simple to celebrate me reaching 506 followers (596 currently) a while ago, and that is to open a discord server.

Yep, you heard me. I’m having my own discord server! :3 So don’t be shy and come join it if you want. The mods are lovely and so are the users that have joined. The criteria for joining my server is that you have to be 15 or older ! And don’t even try to lie about your age, we can tell from the way you carry yourself.

https://discord.gg/pA9au9S

In addition to celebrating my 5th milestone, I would like to thank these people, which are my lovely friends, fanfic writers and non writers alike, those who are in bold write nsfw/mild nsfw :

To start off, I want to thank these three servers/groups as wholes:

1. Jay and Co.:

@oikawasass -- Jay my spicy cinnamon roll! You are very cool person, periodt. Tbh, I was a little intimidated by you when I first spoke to you in your server. But overtime as I spoke to you more, I can see that you're actually a very lovely and sweet person in your own way. Also, I love how you can be super blunt and say the most hilarious things with a serious tone. You’re self-assured, bold and not afraid to speak your mind, and that is what I admire about you. And thank you, for being there and talking sense into me when I needed it, I appreciate that very much 🥺

And boy oh boy, your writing? *Chef's kiss* the first time when I read one of your works, I fell in love with how easy on the eyes it is. Your writing style is simple yet beautiful. Your choice of words, the imagery and the cohesiveness too! It’s godtier💞, must stan it. I especially love your crack fics/hcs and you whole aesthetic as well. Ma'am, pls spare some of your skills. 

@archn my dear cupcake! Honestly, you're the sweetest person I've ever met and you're so so supportive and patient 🥺, plus I love how crackhead you can get when we’re fooling around lmao. Other than that, you’re really easygoing, not only towards me, but to everyone in general. You’re like that cool cousin that everyone looks up to and deserves all the appreciation in the world.

Also, your writing style is gorgeous and you write the characters' personality so spot on! I also love the flow of words sm ahhhj. I especially love your  headcanons of the bnha boyos working out with their fem s/o, that idea is really creative!

@mizukuni -- Mizuuu, my beautiful, gorgeous sweet red date! Babe, you have come so far from starting off as a new writing blog not long ago to finally achieving 1k followers! I just wanna say congrats for reaching your 10th milestone and you deserve every one of your followers! You can definitely go further and achieve more milestones. As for your writing style, it is simplistic but beautiful: you don’t use many flowery words to express your writing,  yet those simple words you choose bring out what you want to show in your works exactly, and the flow of words is just rly smooth and I stan the cohesiveness 💞. Oh and you have such a cute minimalistic art style that is very pleasant on the eyes! And lately I can see that you’re improving at a quick pace; your drawings are getting more detailed than last time and that’s really amazing! Also, did I mention that I love your blog’s aesthetic as well?

Also, thank you for being there for me when I was feeling down and needed someone to talk to, I cherish that gesture of yours greatly luv 💞As for my first impression of you, I could tell you’re a really chill person and go with the flow easily. Honestly, that helped a lot to buffer my social awkwardness and made me open up to y’all easier. So yeah, I must say a very big thank you once again to you babe 💞

@cherry-pancakes  -- Diiii my sweet cherry blossom! You are the cutest person I’ve ever met sjdnjsn. Your antics remind me of a sweet little sister and that is pretty darn adorable. Even though you can be a little bit wild and spontaneous sometimes, that just adds to your charm! Plus, a little wild every once in a while does’t do harm < 3

As for your writing, it has a simple flow but it is easily understood. If writing styles were aesthetics/ sceneries, yours would be a small flowing stream-- small but smooth flowing, simple but not insignificant. Beauty in simplicity describes your works perfectly. Also, did I mention that you have a really adorable artstyle as well? Your art style is relatively simple but it is so so cute 🥺

 @chizo --Guava my gummy bear! Babe, even though you are no longer active here, I just want to say a very big thank you. Thank you for giving us so many beautifully written works. Seriously, when I first met you through discord and followed your writing blog ( @izukyu ) I fell in love with your works. Something about your writing is just really special, plus I love the fact that you start sentences with small letters (Caps lock be damned lol). Your writing is a mixture of sophistication and simplicity, yet they compliment each other perfectly when you incorporate them into your works! It is pretty impressive because it is not an easy thing to do.

As for my first impression of you, I can tell you’re genuinely a vv caring and supportive person. You give off motherly vibes as well in a good way! You’re like the cool mom friend of the group who looks after everyone tbh 💝. So yeah, once again I want to say a very very big thank you to you again. Thank you for blessing the writers’ community with your wonderful fics and thank you for being such a good friend, let’s continue to be good friends in the near future!

@sourbkg  -- Emmie my blueberry! Babey you are another sweetheart who is caring and so so supportive. I still remembered that time when I felt a little ill and sad and you immediately sent some cat pictures to cheer me up, thank you sm for that love, it helped me a great deal 💕, plus I’m never one to say no to cats and kitties! Also, you know exactly what to say at the right moments! Your easygoing personality makes it easy for other people to open up to you as well.

As for your writing style, it has a simple yet realistic approach. It’s like I can see what is happening in your works like a movie scene and I think that is really cool! Keep up the good work < 3! I really love that one shot with Shoto’s s/o attempting to scare him, it’s so cute ahh! And I love the ending lol, Shoto cracking a joke is golden. 

@kozumie -- Kai! Oh man, where do I start. Okay, here we go. When I first met you in the server, I gravitated towards your easygoing, cool and chill vibe. After talking to you more, I can tell that I love the laid-back chill vibe you give off, you’re so awesome! 

Also, even though I haven’t read much of your work, I must say I really love the way you write. It’s precise and your vocabulary really helps with imagery, the words you can help the readers easily envision what is going on in your story, and that is really amazing! Keep up the good work! Looking forward to more works from you. 

@succu6us-- Anni! Babe, ahh it has been a while since we last spoke too hasn’t it? I missed you along with the others too 🥺 But now that I’m back for the time being, I’m going to be more active. Anni babe, your writing style is minimalistic yet gorgeous. I can tell you’re not a big fan of writing long paragraphs and that’s completely fine! Because if I’m being honest here, I tend to keep things simple and short as well if I can. Yet your simplistic style captures the gist of your works perfectly! did I mention that I love your nsfw works as well 

As for my first impression of you, I could tell that you had a very self-assured, confident aura about you, and you still do! But you are not arrogant at all. On the contrary, you’re a humble and supportive soul! I quite envy that self-assurance and air of confidence you have dear, and I can say that I have grown to be a bit more confident in myself by having you around, so you’re a wonderful influence! Let’s continue to keep in touch sweetie.

@mysterypotatoink -- Morgann! Sugarcakes, let me just say that you are the best big sister figure we could ever ask for! You are so sweet, supportive, loving and willing to help us whenever we need it. You are our server’s big sister and guardian 💕💕 You always make us feel loved and warm inside. Personally, whenever we talk to you, it gives off the vibe like a child wrapped up in a safety blanket-- toasty and secured. 

You’re so strong and wise, I look up to you a lot and want to learn from you in terms of being the pillar of support. 🥺

@needs-serotonin -- Joanna! Muffin, you’re another one of the sweetest, most supportive people in the server. You’re so honest about what you say in the group and know when to say it at the exact time.

Also Joanna, you give off a really cool vibe! Initially, I was a bit shy and unsure on how to approach you but overtime as I warmed up to you, you’re actually pretty easy to get along with! I would love to get to know you better, let’s talk more dear. 

2. Deku protection squad! (Aka dps) :

@suckersuki -- Lei! Sugarplum, you are another one of the sweetest, most supportive people I’ve ever met. You are always there for us when we need it and I love how crackhead you can get hahaha, I still remembered that time when we teased you by shipping you with shinsou hehe. Anyways, back to the original topic of appreciating you, you are a great listener and offer good advice! Also, you’re very easy to talk to and give off a cute vibe! 

Did I mention that I love your writing as well? Your style consists of a mixture of comedy and seriousness. Like, your hcs for the tik tok trend and argument scenario for the bnha boys are really funny; on the other hand, your fic with yandere shoto gives off a completely different aura and it sent shivers down my spine. Miss, pls spare some of them writing skills.

@babydabi -- Mei! Gingerbread, you are a another kind, loving and supportive soul that I have the honor of meeting in the dps. You are really easygoing and considerate. You are not afraid to speak up for your friends, but you do it with a careful choice of words and this shows that you’re really considerate.

As for your writing style, it is much like yourself. You know how to choose the best words to express what you want to and you’re cautious doing so. As I can be a little indecisive on deciding my choice of words, I’d love to learn from you! 

@bakugoustanaccount — Bri! Dear, tbh I was a little intimidated by your vibe when I first met you, bc you just seemed so cool,,, and I’m awkward and still don’t really know how to socialise well with people. But after interacting with you more, you’re actually pretty chill! Let’s talk more, I’d love to get to know you better.

As for your writing style, it has a certain smooth flowing, poetic aesthetic. I fell in love with it the moment I read your latest fic. The way you phrased everything is just so fitting! Pls teach me your ways miss.

@bnhatrashh -- Izzy! Luv, you give off a similar vibe like bri, so I was also kind of intimidated by you at first. But like bri, I opened up to you more and here we are! Let’s get to know each other better, I’d like to talk to you more often.

And I really love, love your way of writing! Your writing style has a pleasant, smooth homey vibe. It’s very soothing to the eyes and your vocabulary complements it really well! 

@cellotonin  —cookie! Love, you’re another one of the sweetest and most supportive people in the dps server ahhhh. You’re always ready to support us whenever and I love your vibe! I’d like to get to know you better sweetie.

Also, I love the way you write! it’s so sweet, warm and ahh so pretty 🥺, did I mention that I love your blog’s aesthetic and theme as well? Your style of writing is mellow and gorgeous! I would love to learn some of that from you pls.

 @hoekaashi — Ash! Dear, you give off a cool and mature vibe. You’re like the awesome aunt of the dps. When I first spoke to you in the dps, I was like “this person is really cool, I’m kinda scared if I mess up”, but that thought quickly faded as I chatted with you more. You’re not only cool, but also super chill, supportive and easygoing! Let’s talk more, I’d love to know you better. 

Also, I really love your way of writing! It has this realistic touch and lets people have the feeling of being in that scenario/situation. Plus, the flow of words are smooth and complements your style! Keep up the good work dear, I look forward to see more works from you in the future.

@xoxo-dede — Dede! Darling, you’re bold, outspoken and really cool. You speak your mind and I like that, also I love your crackhead side. Most of the time, you can say the most hilarious and crackhead things that never fail to crack us up (hahaha, see what I did there? Ok I’ll stop) , you’re a big bouncy ball of energy that we simply can’t get enough of! Oh, and your art style is really cool too!

As for your writing style, it’s simple but has that realistic vibe, like I can see what’s happening clearly through your words and that’s really amazing! Your writing is gorgeous dear.

3. 我的家庭!= my family (tree <3) 

@moonlit-xio -- Ara! My sweetpea, love. You are the sweetest, kindest and most understanding sweetheart I have ever met. You are so selfless and loving, making sure that we’re always accounted for and put us before you. You always make sure to give us the attention, love and support. But love, please let us give you back the love and attention too, for you deserve them as much as us. And you’re absolutely adorable!

And did I mention that the headcanons you come up with for us in the server are absolutely 100% beautiful and on point? No? Well, now you know, because they are. Queen ara, your writing is gorgeous, has a poetic touch and deserves more love, your descriptive skills are immaculate! The words you use to express your writings is just immaculate. Also, you’re very musically talented! Your music taste is delectable and refreshing, not to mention that you have the voice of a siren as well. Your singing is lovely, sweetpea.

@sunshhinnee -- Sunni! My darling pudding, love you are literally sunshine (hahaha,get it? Okay, I’ll stop). You’re so bright, positive and always look at the good side of things even if the going starts to get tough. You bring a warm and chaotic good atmosphere to our server, which serves as a nice distraction whenever I had a bad day or feel upset about something. 

Also, your art-style is really really cute! I like your shortcut way of drawing expressions and the anatomy of your characters haha. It’s not too detailed but you can tell what their expressions are saying and their poses are clear.

@bumbbo -- Max! Bubblegum, you’re another one of the most adorable people I ever met. You’re really easygoing and chill, but can be chaotic good sometimes, I like how crackhead you can get when Sunni is in on it too, haha. I especially love it when you two send memes and funny tiktoks to the group, I do enjoy them very much! Also, have I mentioned how much of a cutie and sweetheart you are? You’re so caring, giving and strong. Always willing to help out and so patient with us.🥺

Also, you have great taste in music and you’re great at writing too! Have I mentioned how on point your headcanons you wrote for us are? If I haven’t, now you know <3. Oh, and your editing skills are superb too! 

@sondering-thoughts -- Aria! Macaron, you’re another one of the sweetest, most understanding, and supportive people in our server. You’re like the server’s mom, living up to your nickname. You always watch out for us and make sure that we are doing well; if we felt down, you never fail to cheer us up by writing comfort headcanons for us and console us with the words we need to hear! Thank you so much, for doing all that for us dear 🥺 Also, the way you fluster us? You’re a pro at it snjssk, you make us blush so easily that it’s unfair 😭😭

And speaking of writing, you sure have a way with words macaron! Your writing has a poetic take in it, which is something I hope to incorporate into my writing style one day.

@what-a-creative-username --Liana! Chocolate chip! My bro to my bromance, the kuroo to my bokuto, the bread to my shinya! Bro, you are another 100% cutie plus sweetie! I love it when you’re being chaotic along with the rest of them and spam the group with memes and chaotic Youtube vines/vids lmao. Also, the aesthetics you made for us are so pretty ahh! 

Besides that, you’re also really considerate and willing to lend an ear. I still remember when I was anxious and vented to you and you let me rant. Then you reassured me and comforted me, which both calmed me down successfully. Thank you love, I appreciate that gesture very much 🥺 . I miss your presence very much in the server, hope we’ll get to talk again and raise hell all together soon!

@txmxkis --Linds! Cake pop, dearie you’re another kind, loving and sweet soul I have the fortune of meeting in the server. If Ari is the mother, then you’re the cool aunt who’s always wiling to hype us up! And support us when we feel down or need someone to vent to ofc. You’re really chill, easygoing and so adorable! Even though you can be a lil mischief and fluster us on purpose sometimes, not that I’ll ever admit it  Your vibe is rly pretty, and okay...I admit that I like you flustering me...maybe a little bit. 

Honourable mentions! :

@cosmicskin --Lily, my dear love. Honestly you’re the sweetest person I first met on tumblr. Back then when you gave me that shout out, I felt happy, shocked in a good way, and honored all at the same time. And yet, you claim that you are not an angel. Sweetie, you are wrong. You are an angel, even if you claim that you are not. And the way you write? Immaculate, your fluff works have a poetic vibe in them and I’m in love with it. Even though you are no longer writing, I still want to say a very big thank you. Thank you for giving us so many beautiful, gorgeous stunning works. 

@keigos-dove --Eli my sweet! Dear, you are another lovely soul that I’m really fortunate to meet here. I still remember that time when I asked you to proofread a fic of mine and you did, giving me your honest opinion about it 🥺, so thank you very much for that love! Also, you’re really easygoing and I love the way you carry yourself, you’re not only sweet, but also really cool! I love talking to you and the way you write? Absolutely gorgeous. There’s something about your writing that’s just... so pretty and it tugs at my heartstrings! Keep up the good work, gorgeous! 

@seashellsandshores--Emmie dear! Another fellow sweetheart that I have the honor of meeting here. Dearie, you are really chill and easygoing. I like how easy it is to talk to you and rant to you about ons besides bnha lmao, it has been a while but I want to let you know that I enjoy the time I spend with you and hopefully we’ll get to talk again! Also, the fact that you gave me and your fanfic writer friends a shout out on your birthday says that you are not only a sweetheart, but you’re also a really kind and supportive soul 🥺. And boy, your writing? beautiful. Your url complements your writing style perfectly. Your style is simple, but gorgeous and I can easily imagine what is happening in your fics, like I can mentally picture the scene and hear what the characters are saying. Keep up the good work sweetie! 

@birds-have-teeth -- Ashi sweetie! Again, I just want to say a very big welcome back. I hope that you have been resting well during your break sweetheart 🥺. Also, I was caught off-guard when you posted that appreciation post! How dare you do that when I was least expecting it >:c, you have no idea how flustered I felt when I read that ahhhh 🥺. You are such a sweet, supportive, easygoing and loving person, I really love talking to you! And the way you write? IT IS STUNNING, BREATH-TAKING MMM PERFECTION. The flow of words and vocabulary are just so in sync! Immaculate! Also, your art style is really awesome too! I look forward to see more works from you and can’t wait to get back on a regular basis of talking to you again💕

@90s-belladonna -- Aixa! Queen, you’re another one of the coolest, most easygoing people I have ever met! I was kind of awkward when i first talked to you in our dms on twitter, but overtime we got closer and could talk about almost anything! I really love love your laid-back chill vibe, let’s talk more lovely, I enjoy talking to you a lot! Also, have I mentioned how delectable your writing is? Even though most of your works that I’ve read are headcanons, i can say that your writing style is sophisticated yet easy on the eyes. The way you write takes my breath away, I look forward to see more works from you! Keep up the good work <3

@pastelgurlie --Kassy dear, you are really dynamic, funny and outspoken.Thank you for approaching me first on wattpad and dming me, you give off a really fun and cheerful vibe that makes you easy to be around with. Initially,  I was a little stiff and unsure on how to interact with you, but fortunately you were patient and willing to stick around until I came out of my shell ^-^.  Oh, also did I mention how cool your artstyle is? Your style consists of a semi-realistic coupled with elements of anime in it and that’s really awesome! And the way you draw my and Amy’s oc for free? That’s so sweet of you 🥺. 

@adelheidvonschicksal -- Adel my love, you’re another sweet supportive babe I have the fortune of meeting here! You’re really chill, laid-back cool and I feel like a fan living the dream of befriending her idol when I talk to you! You are the very first Shoto blog I came across on Tumblr, and when I first read your works, I fell in love with them. And to have you follow me back, ahh I feel so honored 🥺! And as for your writing style, it is immaculate! I read most of your fics, including the nsfw ones (cough) and they have this beautiful, realistic touch. You characterize the characters rly well and it’s like I can picture what is happening in your works in my head! Keep up the good work, senpai 🥺, I look forward to more amazing works from you.

@lavander-cherry--Cheska! Dear, my second writing senpai for shoto. First I want to say it’s good to have you back! it has been a while since we last talked and tbh, I felt a little sad when I saw your announcement about leaving the bnha writing community, still I do respect your decision back then! And now, I feel really happy that you are back writing for this fandom. Your works are superb, dear! Your characterization is on point and your flow of words complements it very well. Also, I like how you are not afraid to speak your mind and how bold you are, let’s talk again soon!

@shoutodoki --Val! Dear, ahhhh you are another sweetheart that I'm so so fortunate to meet here! You're really easygoing and sweet and it's really easy to talk to you. Your vibe is gorgeous and I cannot stress enough on how much I adore your writings! The flow of words throughout your stories, works and headcanons is just so immaculate and aesthetically pleasing! Even though you have deactivated your acc, I just want to say a very big thank you. Thank you for all of your wonderful works that you have written, you have been a really big inspiration to many writers(including me), I’m sure of that. 

@random-mha-thoughts -- Rachel! Sweetheart, dear I still remembered the way you first helped me back then, we didn’t know each other at all, and yet you were so willing to stand up for and help me! I’m trully grateful for the help you provided so so much. And thank you, also for sticking by me even after that and being such a kind soul after all this while. Let’s continue to be friends sweetie!

As for your writing, it’s simple and sweet. The way you write brings a mellow feeling that’s very pleasant to the viewers, it brings about a fluffy feeling and is easy on the eyes. Look forward to more works from you! Keep up the good work! 

@min-atoo --Minny my sweet! Man, it has been 3 years since we known each other hasn’t it? You’re just the sweetest, super understanding and kindest person ever! I’m really glad to call you one of my closest friends <333. You’re really easy to hang out with and I love the vibe you give off so much! I still remember the moment when we got into a discussion about what todo’s beard color would be on ig lol. It’s really fun hanging out with you, and yoi and chessie ofc. We should get tgt and have a discord grp call sometime! 

Oh, and you have the cutest artstyle ever! The pastel colours you use and the chibi aesthetic you have go perfectly together! All of your works are very easy on the eyes and are super cute! Let’s stay in touch bb x

Make sure to show some love to these lovely ppl that I tagged above by giving them a follow! Oh, I also want to show some love to @dee-madwriter , @dimplesum , @heroprose @kingtamakimurder @love-toxin  @lovelove-dere , @yandere-daydreams, @trafalgar-temptress @wonderwomanfantasy, @combust-catalyst @talpup @shoutogepi and @bnhabadass ! They are some amazing fanfic authors as well so go follow them if you haven’t already :3

Words cannot express how much I love and appreciate every one of you, both my friends I have tagged in this post and my dear followers. I am very thankful for every one of you, let’s work hard together! 

So, what’s next? Since that I am back for now, i will finish off the belated birthday fics I left unfinished for some of my lovely writer friends above, move on to one last request from the last time and finish off some fics of mine. As for when I will re-open requests...they are put on hold until further notice. Oh and I'll be clearing my asks and tags at the same time.

Until then, see y'all soon!